#its 5 am rn LMAOO

[chrollogy]

oh my god i woke up bc i knew i forgot something 😭

[needyoulikeaheartbeet]

a little late but for lover's 5th birthday...

i have sorted the tracklist!!! lover is truly one of my favourite albums so this was incredibly hard ;-;

False God

Death By A Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

Lover

The Man

London Boy

It's Nice To Have A Friend

Paper Rings

Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince

You Need To Calm Down

ME!

Afterglow

I Think He Knows

The Archer

Cornelia Street

I Forgot That You Existed

Daylight

(ask me to redo this in a few hours and it will be different and also i love every song so much there is no bottom ranked song here like.... daylight is a top ranker for me.... why is she down there.... cornelia street honey what are you doing..... i forgot that you existed you bad ass bitch get up whats going on... even INTHAF should be higher... why are numbers and rankings like this.... i love u all)

lover i love u happy 5 years <3

[littlepuffy4ever]

Drawing bird AM a lot bc of my comic and I genuinely love to draw him and how he looks

He's so silly (even though he has committed every war crimes but that's okay, he's a silly bird)

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

WOOO YEAH WE'VE GOT CANNIBALISM LET'S GO- I like gore lmao -🌟

YEAHHHHH!!!!! 😩💅 YEAH!

[jealousmartini]

Hii, one day I came across ur acc, and I loved it! Even the aura I scripted for my kpop drs, is the same as yours but with some different things lol Today while still deciding some things to add to my aura, I realize that I REALLY wanna create some drama. Like me and an idol having beef, or me defending myself bc a female iodl wants to beat me up idk but I feel like i'm the only one lmao. I see everyone wanna be friends with their idols and their s/o but I wanna be an idol specially to know all the drama going behind the cameras, the HOT tea. Like did 2 male idols ever beat the sh#t out of each other back of the MAMA building during awards shows? Or how do idols ever go to parties with out being caught? And if so, do idols who are minors go to parties?? Bc I'm a minor rn, and I'm going to shift with my age, and I LOVE parties 🤩 but I'm not gonna script things like "all idols can go out freely" bc I wanna see the raw thing, how idols actually live.

Actually I just came here to ask u if u have any drama with another idols in ur dr, or if u plan to script anyone. And if so who and why? 🧐 But I ended speaking too much lmao. Anyways, love ur account 🫶🏾🫶🏾

OH MY GOSH ITS YOU! I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU LIKE ONE OF MY POSTS BUT YOUR PFP THREW ME OFF CUS I THOUGHT IT WAS ME LMAO😭😭😭

ANYWAY HEY SWEETHEART IM SO GLAD YOU LOVE MY BLOG❤️❤️ AND OHH MYY GODD I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH I HAVE SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY SO ILL BULLETPOINT THEM

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

DRAMA, CONTROVERSIES, AND SCANDALS.

DATING RUMOURS

First I'll start off by saying Taehyung and Jennie were 100% dating back in 2017-2019 and those pictures taken of them were definitely real.

And speaking of BTS members dating other idols, the biggest controversial dating rumour circulating BTS is if Jungkook and Chae Kyung are secretly dating because of the amount of references we've have made about each other and the candid pictures taken of us hanging out

Other than him, I do have like 5-6 dating rumours with other idols too but "KyuKook" or "Rookie" is the most popular ship surrounding me in my reality.

Also I kind of have a thing for controversial ships can't lie. I am a freak for older men (AS LONG AS ITS ONLY THE MEN I LIKE LMAOO😭😭) so I do not care if fans ship me with yoongi or jin or whatever cus I may or may not have scripted it but that's none of your business.

BEEF RUMOURS

Now see me personally I don't have any real beef with any idols but more with anonymous haters. There are countless meme clips of me responding to haters cussing them out and fact checking them it's actually hilarious how I am 85% of the reason why O.M.G is called the messiest group.

Yeah no beef rumours for me

IDOLS GO PARTYING

No one actually understands how much I love this topic because in this reality, I am not big on parties but I wish I liked them so ive scripted in my kpop dr that I enjoy parties (I also scripted I'm a bit of a lightweight just to be dramatic) and I have always wondered how idols got away with sneaking out to parties some of the time unnoticed.

Of course not always because of those candid pictures of idols walking together and dancing in a club but the idea of it is so exciting to me plus I don't really gaf if a fan sees me and I get hate for it lmao. I'm out here dancing and being shipped with YOUR "oppa", and YOU'RE🫵🏾 not!

If anything, I am looking forward to those candid pictures cus I love the attention so nah I'm not scripting "idols can go partying freely" I LIVE FOR THE DRAMA. GIVE ME THAT ADRENALINE RUSH🗣🗣‼️

[bbyquokka]

betrayal

pairing: bang chan x fem reader

genre: angst, smut – MDNI

synopsis: chan betrayed your trust. he tries his best to show you how sorry he is, but did it worked? or was it too much for you to bear.

warnings: cheating, heartbreak, elevated feelings, smut, unprotected sex, make-up sex, heated moment, explicit language, nipple play, clit play, pussy eating, rutting, face-riding, possessiveness, jealousy, creampie, some masturbation [ m ], pet names [ pup, my love, baby ], biting, mentions of insecurities, anxiety and imperfections – if i missed any, lmk!!

words: 5k

tag: @bellamuerte1987

a/n: i cried whilst writing this – especially the ending! why am i like this, lmaoo. anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this mess. i am currently battling a cold rn so if it seems jumbled up, that's because it is, lmaoo.🤧

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated as they help get my fics/blog out there. please let me know what you think, ty for the support and love as of lately! i hope y'all enjoy!

♡ m.list

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

Silence. The background noise of your TV became a distant sound. Dizziness and nausea slowly creeping its way to the back of your throat. Your ears ringing. You're staring at your phone screen, eyes watering from either not blinking for 5 minutes or because of what you were seeing.

Your heart shattering into a million pieces, palms sweaty. Heartbreak, anger, disgust was all you could feel. Emotions and adrenaline coursing through your veins. You couldn't believe your eyes.

Minho 😈 [22:30]: im sry, (Y/N) you have to see this…

Minho 😈 [22:31] picture attached

I'm so so sry…

Chan, your lover of only 3 months, was photographed kissing someone else. As soon as you saw it, your mouth ran dry. You wanted to scream, punch the cushions, smash things up around your apartment in fits of rage – but you couldn't.

You felt numb. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the screen. Occasionally zooming in with your index and pointer finger for the millionth time to make sure it is who Minho said it is.

You thought it was a joke, a big practical joke on you when Minho explained it was Chan. You and Minho don't get on at the best of times, you're both headstrong people with strong opinions, so naturally you both clash, however, Minho isn't that type of person to make something as serious as this up.

You swallowed a lump in your throat. You clenched your jaw, your throat becoming dry in an instant. No matter how many times you swallowed, your throat stayed dry. Soon enough, you ran out of saliva.

You took deep breaths, closing your eyes and counting to ten, slowly. You blinked back hot tears, swallowing down your nausea. You walked to the kitchen, your bare feet slapping softly against the wooden floor.

Grabbing a glass, you filled it up with cold water. You placed your phone screen side down at the breakfast bar, parking yourself on the high stool as you sipped your water and waiting, staring into the void.

You didn't have to wait long. Soon enough, a cheerful Chan came in through the door, unaware that his life was about to be turned upside down. Humming, he kicked his shoes off before walking inside, looking around for you. You stared at him, placing your glass down on the breakfast bar. Chan grinned when he saw you, walking to you with a bounce in his step.

"Hey baby!" Chan said cheerfully, unaware of what's to come. He smelt of sweat and alcohol, with a hint of cheap perfume. It enraged you even more.

Chan leaned in to kiss your lips but you instantly turned your head, denying his kiss as his lips connected with your cheek. Chan pulled away slowly, feeling your hostile mood. His brows furrowed, smile turning into a frown.

"Babe? You okay?" His voice laced with concern. You simply shrugged, picking up your glass and sipping your water.

"I don't know Chan. You tell me." You replied, voice monotone. Chan blinked, trying to read your emotions or body language, but to no avail.

"I don't understand." You scoffed, short puffs of hot air escaping your nostrils. You put your glass down and looked at Chan for the first time since he got home.

Chan swallowed. Your somewhat calm demeanor scaring him. His mind working overtime to figure out what he has – or hasn't – done. You took deep breaths, chest rising before you grabbed your phone. You opened it, the picture staring at you once again. Refusing to let your hot tears fall, you pressed your lips in a thin line, eyes blinking rapidly.

You flipped your phone, showing Chan the screen you had been staring at for an hour and a half. His eyes widened in horror.

"Where-"

"Minho. Minho sent it me." You replied coldly, cutting Chan off mid sentence. Chan sighed deeply, running his fingers through his hair.

"That bastard" He mumbled under his breath. You raised a brow, your anger resurfacing – this time, you allowed it to take control of your body. You exploded.

"Seriously Chan?!" Chan's head shot up as you slammed your phone down on the breakfast bar. "I show you a picture of you sucking the face off some other women and your first instinct is to call your best friend a bastard?!"

"I-No!" Chan exclaimed. You stood up, standing in front of him. Your body hot with rage, words spewing from your mouth.

"Then what Chan?! Why? Why did you do it?"

"It was-" Chan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck "It was a dare. Changbin dared me to, so I did." You laughed in disbelief, your eyes narrowing into thin slits as you glared at Chan.

"A dare? Seriously, a fucking dare?! Y'know what it's like, Chan. To sit here day in day out, constantly thinking whether you will be home or not? Do you know how anxious I feel, knowing that you're out there, getting shitfaced?!"

"I-Im sorry, babe! it means nothing!"

"It doesn't matter whether it meant something or not, Chan!! You still kissed someone else!" Your vision blurry with tears. You hastily wiped your eyes with the back of your hand as Chan pressed his lips together in a thin line. Before he could stop himself, the words spewed from his mouth without a second thought.

"Oh come on, (Y/N) it's not like I fucked her there and then. It's not a big deal, just some stupid dare." Chan's eyes widened once he registered what he said. You stood in front of him in disbelief, shocked and speechless at what he just said.

"fuck, fuck, babe, I didn't mean it. I-"

"You're right. You didn't fuck her, well done. But why has it taken for Minho to tell me this?! Huh? Would you have told me yourself, or would you have just pretended nothing had happened and lied to me?"

You shoved Chan's chest, pushing him close to the wall with each word you spoke. This time, you allowed your tears to fall. You allowed all the pent up feelings you were suppressing to explode.

"I would have, I'm sorry!" Chan's own eyes filled with tears as he allowed you to shove him against the wall.

"Sorry for doing it or sorry you got caught?" You questioned.

"Oh, come on! Of course I'm sorry for doing it. It meant nothing to me! You're the only person I have eyes for, pup!" Your lip turned at the corner in disgust.

"It doesn't matter whether it meant something or not. You. Still. Did. It!" Tears cascading down your cheeks. Your breath labored as your throat was getting sore from shouting. A headache slowly creeping its way in.

"I know, I know whatever I say won't make a change, but believe me when I say I love you and I always will!" Chan pleaded. You laughed, kicking your head back at his words.

"Love? No you don't Chan because if you did, you wouldn't have done it! You didn't think of me at all when you kissed her. Nothing in your mind told you not to do this, to tell changbin no and that you're not going to do the dare! You still went along with it and if Minho wasn't there, you would have gotten away with it as well!"

Chan looked at the ground, feeling defeated. No matter what he said, nothing could make you change your mind about this.

"I have been, so fucking faithful to you Chan. I have put my trust into you and for what? for you to stomp on it." Your voice was shaky as you spoke, your heart breaking all over again.

Chan looked up at you, his own heart breaking at the sight of you. Eye and cheeks puffy, a red tint across your cheeks from anger, a cold sweat lay across your forehead. Your beautiful eyes glossy with tears. He loves you so much and he has royally fucked up.

"You know how I feel about stuff like this Chan." You whispered. Chan's heart dropped to his stomach, panic settling on his facial features.

"N-No! Please.." You looked at the ground, sobs shaking your figure. You wiped your eyes and cheeks. Chan placed a hand on your shoulder gently, only for you to slap it away. Chan pressed his lips together, tears falling down his face.

"Pup, please don't.. I love you so much. Please. Just let me prove to you how sorry I am!" Chan begged. Short splutters of air escaped your lips, your ability to calm down failing.

"I-I love you t-too, Chan. But you betrayed me. You h-hurt me.."

"I know, I know pup. Just please, give me another chance." Chan whispered, wrapping his arms around you. This time, you allowed it. You allowed yourself to drown in this familiar warmth – a warmth you call home. You allowed Chan to pull you close to his chest, his gentle hands wiping away your tears as his own continued to fall.

"Don't cry, my love. I hate seeing you like this."

"YOU did this!" You shot back, words bitter. Chan simply nodded, cupping your cheeks in both his hands so you were forced to look at him.

"I'm sorry, pup. Please, give me another chance, or at least, let me prove to you how much you mean to me." His voice barely a whisper.

You weakly shook your head, failing to get out of his grip. You avoided eye contact because you know just with one look into those beautiful eyes, and you're putty in his hands.

"Look at me." You whimpered, refusing "Pup, look at me."

You looked. Just as expected, you melted. Despite his puffy cheeks and bloodshot eyes, despite the fact a faint bruise was forming on his neck, you couldn't help yourself but be drawn into him.

Chan leaned in slowly, his lips ghosting over your own. You held onto his wrists as his hands held your face, softly.

"Let me show you how much I love you, pup." His voice low. The smell of alcohol and cheap perfume hitting your nostrils, making your stomach churn. You whimpered weakly, stray tears falling down your cheeks.

"N-No." you replied weakly. Your body betrayed you as your skin felt hot beneath Chan's fingertips.

"No?" Chan questioned. "You don't want this?"

You swallowed, closing your eyes slowly. You didn't want him, but now, you do. The constant smell of the cheap perfume made you jealous. How dare she touch what belongs to you! How dare she make a mark on his delicate skin! How dare she!

A wave of new emotions washed over you. Jealousy and possessiveness. Two dangerous emotions to feel at the same time. You know you shouldn't, he did you wrong on so many levels, but you couldn't help it. You wanted to erase the stench, erase the marks and make new ones. He's yours and yours only!

Love is blind.

"I-I do.. I want you Chan." You whispered. Chan pressed his lips against yours, kissing you desperately. You responded back, mimicking his movements. The taste of alcohol and cherry lip balm made you feel nauseous all over again. Your emotions heightened. You're not thinking straight and for the first time, you didn't want to think or feel.

"C-Channie." You softly moaned. During the kiss, you made your way to the bedroom, lips staying attached to one another. Clothing stripped and discarded in random piles. Chan placed you on your back gently, caressing your curves by planting soft and delicate kisses.

Your thighs, hips, stomach, breasts – anywhere where Chan could reach, he kissed. soft compliments in the form of mumbles left his lips, hoping it would prove to you and somewhat make you feel better

But it didn't. It just hurts you even more. His statements of you being so beautiful and perfect to him stung more and more. You bit your lip, tears threatening to spill over as you watched Chan tenderly kissing your stomach and hip dips.

You let out a sob, your tears falling and landing on the sheets below you. Chan looked up, instantly bringing his face close to yours. He kissed away your tears softly, stroking your hair

"Don't cry, my love." His own voice breaking at the sight of you. He's hurt you in the worst way possible – now he has to live with the guilt.

"It'll all be okay in the end, I promise you." You nodded slowly, snuffling. "Let me help you forget."

His lips pecking yours in the most subtle but softest way possible. You whimpered as he slowly made his way down, kissing your neck and the valley between your breasts. He kissed your left breast softly, sucking your delicate skin. You hummed at the feeling, fresh bruises developing.

The tip of his tongue circling around your nipple making you whimper. He pressed his tongue flat against your sensitive bud, licking and flicking. You moaned softly, eyes closing at the feeling. You pressed your thighs together, squeezing them.

With his free hand, Chan cupped your right breast, massaging it softly in his big hands. His fingers occasionally brushing against your nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

"Fuck, You're so beautiful, (Y/N)" Chan mummered against your nipple. You swallowed softly, humming as a response before closing your eyes.

Pulling away from your breast, Chan shuffled further down, opening your legs gently to reveal your wet core. Chan licked his lips slowly, his gaze fixated on your cunt. He swallowed, watching it clench and throb.

"Fuckkk" He groaned. Using two of his fingers, he parted your lips giving himself a better view of your entrance. His head dipped low. His tongue darting out and making contact with your clit. Your body jolted at the sudden contact, soft groans leaving your lips. His tongue skillfully draws small circles around your clit before giving it short and quick flicks with the tip of his tongue.

You opened your legs wider as Chan slowly licked your entrance, tongue darting in and out, collecting your essence on his tongue. He hummed at the taste, licking a long wet strip from entrance to clit and back down again.

You tangled your fingers into his hair, soft moans leaving your lips as you closed your eyes. Chan gripped your thighs gently, squeezing your soft flesh as he licked inside, out and around your cunt. You felt your pussy pulsating, pleasure running through your veins as you allowed yourself to get lost in it.

You tugged Chan's hair softly, moaning his name. Your hips bucked and rutted against his face. His nose bumping and rubbing against your clit, sending shivers to run down your spine. Chans tongue continued to do work inside your entrance, collecting every spillage and every drop of your essence.

You pressed Chan's face against your pussy, grinding and rutting against it desperately, using it for your own sake. Chan hummed, allowing you to do as you please.

"Good, so good." You whimpered, soft pants leaving your lips. Your essence coating Chan's lips and chin, his own hips rutting against the bedsheets, desperate for some sort of friction. Saliva and slick coated your cunt making it glisten in the faint light

Chan slowly loses himself in your scent and taste, slowly feeling feral. His hips rutting against the sheets desperately. Your toes curled as you tugged Chan's hair roughly at his scalp, a grunt leaving his lips.

The knot in the pit of your stomach slowly forming. Your hips moving at a pace, desperately chasing your high. The warmth and wetness of Chan's tongue and saliva mixed in with your slick, his owns hums mixing in with your desperate moans

"C-Chan.." A simple hum vibrated against your cunt sending shivers down your spine. You squeezed your eyes shut, gripping Chan's hair even tighter as your toes curled.

Your body shook as your orgasm hit you. Soft whimpers leaving your lips as Chan collects every drop of essence onto his tongue. Your pussy convulsing against Chan's face, his nose rubbing your sensitive clit as your rutting slowed down. Chan gave your clit a flick, making you jolt at the sensitivity.

Chan pulled away, kneeling up and between your legs. His cheeks flush as slick coated his chin and lips. You whimpered softly at the sight, body feeling hot and sweaty as your heart was racing against your ribcage

"You taste so good, pup. Did it feel good riding on my face?" Chan smirked as you nodded slowly

"It felt so good channie." Chan hummed softly, stroking his hard cock, the pad of his thumb occasionally pressing against his leaking tip as he would rub slow circles on it. You watched Chan get himself off, his head kicked back as he'd groan and moan your name softly.

Your eyes traveled along his sweat coated body. His abs tensing at the pleasure his own hand was providing. His eyes closed shut as his mouth hung open slightly. His biceps visible contacting, his veins protruding along his hand and arms.

The sight was enough to make you cum again

Until your eyes landed on that stupid bruise that lay proudly on his neck. you clenched your jaw as you stared at it. Everything you felt previous, came flooding back.You wanted to claw at the bitch who dared lay her fingers on your man – on your property. You didn't even know her, yet you hated her

Chan opened his eyes slowly. He looked at you, tilting his head to the side

"You okay, pup?" Your face softened. You smiled softly at Chan, pushing your anger to the side not wanting to ruin the moment

"Everything is good, Channie. You just looked so handsome and delicious." You mewled. Chan laughed softly, leaning over you as he placed his hands firmly beside your head.

"Is that so?" you hummed and nodded.

"Absolutely, Channie. You always look so handsome"

"Stop. It should be me who should be complimenting you." Chan hummed, kissing your lips softly. You hummed into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck gently to keep him close.

Chan reached between your bodies, grabbing the base of his cock. He tapped it a few times against your cunt, a whimper leaving your lips

"Are you okay with this, pup?"

"Of course I am, chan. Make love to me, please." Chan smiled against your lips, slowly inserting his cock into your entrance. You groaned at the feeling of being stretched out, a slight burn running all over your body.

Chan pushed himself inside until he was half way, waiting for you to get used to his size. You whimpered softly, holding onto Chan's shoulders.

"Big, you're so big Chan. I feel so full already." You whined. Chan shivered at your words, his ego inflating slightly

"Don't. I won't be able to hold back if you carry on, pup."

"But it's true. You feel so good inside me, Channie." You mewled, hand coming to his cheek and stroking it softly.

"P-Please, don't." Chan whimpered, leaning into your hand as he kissed the palm of it.

"Don't what? Tell you how full I feel? How stretched out I am because of your thick cock." Chan hung his head low, teeth biting his lower lip as he struggled between wanting to destroy your insides to wanting to delicately take care of you.

You leaned up, lips ghosting the shell of his ear as you licked it slowly before whispering

"Why don't you fuck me like you mean it, Sir."

Chan grunted, his hands gripping your hips harshly. Your head fell back onto the sheets as you smirked. Chan's eyes full of lust and need.

"You fucking tease." Chan growled, pulling his hips back before snapping them against your own, his cock hitting deep inside you. Your body jolted, a loud moan escaping your lips as you smirked.

"What can I say Chan. I like it when you go feral. It's delicious." Chan's response was to pull his hips back once more and pause, his tip remaining inside of you

"Oh really? I always knew you had such a filthy mouth and it never surprises me when you talk dirty." He pushed his length inside you so he was now balls deep

Fast and powerful thrusts shook your body. His cock rubbing your velvety walls as his tip hit deep inside you. The bed shook and hit against the wall from how powerful Chan's hips were snapping against your own

The sounds of your cunt squelching mixed in with your moans and Chan's desperate grunts. Chan knelt up, taking your legs in his hands for leverage. His hips constantly slapping against your own, balls hitting your ass.

He repositioned himself to hit your sweet spot and once he did, he smirked feeling proud of himself once your loud and sweet moan hit his ears, sending shivers down his spine and his cock to twitch inside you.

You withered and clinged onto the bed sheets until your knuckles turned white. Beads of sweat ran down your temples as incoherent words and moans left your lips. Chan's gaze fell down on the area in which connected the both of you, his cock coating in your slick each time he pulled out and pushed in.

"Fuckkk" Sweat coated Chan's body, his thrusts becoming greedy and desperate. He pushed his sweaty hair back with a free hand before looking down at you. He smirked, placing his hand on your lower stomach, feeling his cock bulging against his hand.

"I'm so deep inside you, pup. Holy fuck." You hummed, nodding your head as your ability to speak was no more.

You felt good – so good that you forgot. Forgot why you were angry, why you were hurting. You allowed yourself to be taken in by Chan, soaking in all of his warmth and pleasure he provided. Chan is your safe place, your home and for one second, you just wanted to pretend everything was okay

Even though it will never be the same again.

Chan's hips faltered, your cunt clenching around Chan's cock. His movements becoming sloppy, his abs and thighs tensing and burning.

"Chan, I'm-"

"Me too, pup." You whimper, reaching up to grab Chan. You pulled him down so he was leant over you. His hot skin radiating onto you from how close you both are, pants mixing together. You both closed your eyes, lips meeting together in a sloppy and lazy kiss.

You groaned, gripping onto Chan's shoulders tightly as your orgasm hit. Your nails digging into his skin as you pulled away from his lips. Your eyes came into contact with the mark, your feral instincts taking over.

As your cunt was pulsating and throbbing around Chan, you took the opportunity to sink your teeth into his neck, over the mark. A loud groan rang down your ears as you bit and sucked the skin, desperate to override the previous mark.

You whimpered against his skin, becoming more and more desperate to erase any marks on his body. Chan groaned at the pain, his eyes squeezing shut.

"B-baby, it hurts." Your eyes widened, pulling away slowly. You swallowed, teeth marks and a newly formed bruise that was deep purple formed on his skin

"Sorry.." You whispered, head falling back onto the pillows. Chan shook his head indicating it was okay, his hips still thrusting deep inside you

After a couple more thrusts, Chan groaned as his hips stopped. His cock twitched deep inside you, filling you up with his seed. You hummed at the feeling, your cunt clenching around him as it encouraged him to milk himself inside you. Chan thrusted shallowly to ride out his high and once he was calm, he pulled his now flaccid cock out of you and collapsed on top of you, careful not to crush you with his weight.

"I love you so much, pup." Chan said as his eyes slowly closed. His head rested against your chest so he could hear your erratic heartbeat. You stroked his sweaty hair slowly, tears spilling down your cheeks as you stared into the void.

"I love you too."

The next morning, Chan awoke to a cold and empty bed. He stretched, groaning at the feeling as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. He allowed his eyes to adjust to the harsh morning light, reaching over to your side – only for his hand to come into contact with the cold sheets

His head spun to the side, eyes widening in horror. He sprung out of bed, throwing the sheets off him. Nausea and anxiety hitting him like a truck, not wanting his biggest fear to come true. He opened the wardrobe, the drawers, checked the cabinets and bathroom.

Gone. Everything you owned was gone. Chan took shaky deep breaths as he exited from the bathroom. A shaky hand running through his hair as he paced the bedroom.

"Fuck fuck fuck. This cannot be happening! I'm such an idiot. What have I done?!"

He sat on the bed, head in hands as tears fell down his cheeks, reality hitting him hard. He looked up to find a letter addressed to him leaning against a photo frame that held a dorky selfie of you both.

Chan grabbed the letter, opening it with shaky hands. Broken sobs and tears landed on the paper, the ink bleeding as he read it. Realization hitting him over and over again as he read the letter, more than once

You were gone and Chan only has himself to blame.

"Chan,

My sweet, darling chan. I love you, more than you will ever know which is why I have to do this.

You have taught me many things in the space of three months. I have never loved myself. I've always been hard on myself, forever comparing myself to other people and wondering why I am not like them. I hated my imperfections and my insecurities got the better of me at times. I was so use to faking it and hiding behind a mask, that it became second nature to me

Finding someone to love me for who I am, was hard. I've had many broken and failed relationships and before I met you, I essentially gave up. I accepted that this is who I forever will be

Broken.

Until you came along. When I saw you in the bar, looking so gorgeous, I went home that night and thanked God. When you approached me, I was so nervous and sweating because I didn't want you to see the real me because, like many others, it'd scare you away.

But you were quick to catch on. You knew I was being fake and even though you were smart, you never pressed me about it which I am thankful for. You allowed me to slowly come out off my shell, at my own pace. Yes, I was scared to show you the true me, but the more time I spent with you, the more I realise that, you love me for me

You didn't care about my imperfections, you adored them! You soothed me of my worries and insecurities. You taught me how to love myself again, how to accept and love my imperfections because nobody is perfect!

Because you loved my imperfections, I slowly started to love them too. You saw them as perfect and a part of who I am, so why shouldn't I? It did take some time, however, my mind was in a constant battle with itself over what is right and what is wrong.

But seeing you, so loved up for someone as broke as me, made me feel whole again. Made me feel like a person. You made me feel like I have meaning on this shitty planet. You taught me many things Chan, but the one thing I will forever be grateful of, is the fact that you taught me how to love myself again.

However, waking up next to you this morning and knowing what happened, sent my mind into overdrive. My insecurities came flooding back.

Stupid questions of 'How long did the kiss last?' 'Was it just a peck or a full blown make out session?' And then I saw the mark last night. She marked you Chan. She marked what belonged to me. I went feral with rage. I HAD to override the mark, reclaim what is mine! In that moment, I didn't recognise who I was and it scared me. I was so consumed with blaming her that it never occurred to me that you're just as much to blame for this as she is.

For all I know, she probably doesn't even know about me. You probably thought it was a bit of harmless fun so you went along with it, not expecting this outcome. This is the consequences for your actions Chan.

it's not fair on us, to have this hanging over our heads so, I decided to take a break. I need to get my head in the right place again. I'm staying at my mother's for a while, in case you were wondering.

One look at you and it all comes flooding back to me. It's not fair on either of us. I don't want to constantly hold this against you whilst we try and heal.

I can forgive you Chan, but I cannot forget, not at this moment of time anyways. Please don't hold this against you, my love. it's not your fault. They say things happen for a reason, so maybe this is a good thing for us. Maybe we will come back better and stronger as one.

Please take this time apart to heal. I want the best for you Channie because I will forever love you, no matter what happens. I want to see you thrive and become a better person, to learn from this.

I love you more than you will ever know, my love. You are my heart and soul. You have left tiny footprints on my heart. I simply cannot remove you from my life – I refuse to!!

– forever yours, pup. x"

[nicegaai]

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[nijisanji-brain-rot-fics]

rating the fanbases in nijisanji en that im in 🤠🤘

also im not hating on yall im just talking about…… some colorful things about the fan communities im in

aight for one, kyomies. = FUCKING -18/10

im scared of like some of yall. like ongod 😭 either chill or so fucking down bad WW like oh god i watched the confessions stream YOU GUYS. ARE SCARY. PLEASE. I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES MY JAW DROPPED WATCHING THAT STREAM. also we needa stop bullying kyo for being the shortest male in nijisanji en lmao hes coping already 💀AHEM… TO ANY OF YALL WHO GENUINELY LIKE ASTERS FEET CAM STREAM… DNI (jkjk but like keep a respectable distance from me pls 🧍✋ yall scare me enough)

kindreds!! = 5/10

yall horny as fuck. all i gotta say. we all know the gwak gwak incident, lets leave it pls. also yall are nice, everyone in chat is pretty nice, yk you get a parasocial chatter every once and a while but oh well wwww 💀💀 ehmmm theyre like the first niji en fanbase ive been in, i have a friend irl whos a kindred, theyre nice yk did not prepare me for the shitshow the online kindreds are

villions = 8/10

i know, we are all probably down bad for ber whenever he speaks korean, BUT CAN YOU BLAME US?? i wanna bet ver is half of his fanbases’ reason to learn korean (can vouch because i started to relearn kr bc of him 😭👌) ALSO HES SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIM!! villions in general, yall r nice, like all i gotta say LOL

sicklings = 4/10

basically kindreds but like twice as horny and mentally ill 💀like goddamn yall listen to his yandere asmrs and go ‘he can fix me’?? is that like a thing in this fanbase? 😭 how mentally ill yall had to be to fall for a therapist [bullying myself rn] like holy shit also that one overlay incident 🫣 lets not talk about it but like anyways yall are ok, its a debatable topic also just wanted to say hex looks like the type of person to have a rice purity score of 53 idk

FaMillie = 10/10

OK SO IM BIASED BC IM ALSO A FILIPINO AND YK SWAGPINOS UNITE BUT YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY I CANT LIE, YOU HAVE GENUINELY MADE ME CACKLE SOMETIMES especially the hugot lines stream, my mom fucking got mad at me for laughing so much some of yall are unhinged like stop bullying millie LOL ik its for shits and giggles but damn, yall are being mean sometimes 😭

Quilldren = 6/10

personally, i havent been in the fanbase too much but most of you guys are chill so neutral score. havent seen too much stir from ike's fans so thats nice, good to know theres one fan base that isnt overtly chaotic [from what ive seen 👀]

scythekicks = 8/10

girl is this fanbase dead or am i just not active on twitter? probably the latter LMAO but like i barely see any doppio fans in the wild like where are yall come out come out you may be outta scythe but you aint outta my mind WWWW we all love doppio in the scythekick household, that man gets so entertained so easily

uhhhh shit ok pls dont cancel me WWWWW IM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE I PROMISE THIS IS ALL FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES im in these fan bases too IM BASICALLY FUCKING MYSELF OVER

also posts are gonna be slow as fuuuck cuz schools starting and yknow we gotta COME IN DO YOU READ ME?-

im just kidding guys dont hate me for this WWW its for giggles so dont take it to heart

i think i did this wrong in so many ways but oh well LMAOO

[stuffedsand]

Haruka - 1, 2, 5, and 9

Fuuta - 4 and 19

Mahiru - 3, 11, 12, 13, and 14

Woah that's a lot!! Ty for the ask :p under the cut cuz my answers r gonna be long tm

Haruka 1,2,5,9

1. Favourite song lyrics?

"if only I could do what anyone else could, the right future unfairly chose the wrong me"

It's the most obvious but I really like it :p

2. Favourite MV moment?

These!!!

They're really pretty and I just really like the collage aesthetic of some of the shots, also the one at the start before the song even starts and the uhhh. Bludgeoning of the dog👍

5. Favourite VD line/moment?

To be fr I barely remember the vds,,, but moment wise I do like when es fucking. Threw him across the room (t1) because what the fuck es+the character thing of how he really just wants any type of attention and is glad that es is even listening to him in the first place,,,,like boy no,,,,,

9. Do you forgive their crime on its own?

..........aughgh. ok I don't. Particularly forgive it. Sibling of his or not the girl hasn't been shown to have done anything wrong? Also murder is bad 👎 so by virtue of a direct murder I probably wouldn't forgive him. I will forgive him t3 but like...not his murder itself yk

Fuuta

4. Favourite minigram moment?

The one where they make fun of his height lmaooo hold on I can find it

THESE 2 the height one is funny as hell they didn't have to use 2 other prisoners just kotoko would've been fine but they doubled down on the "haha short" lmaOO

And the kendama one is just silly look at his face

19. What do you think their teenage/childhood years were like?

Honestly I think he's been chronically online for a WHILE. Definitely was part of "the boys" in like. What middle school? Around 13-16. He was definitely one of them and god would he have been insufferable. So relatively normal. At least by today's standards. Apparantly the "boys are absolutely fucking insufferable save like 2 people" thing is almost exclusive to my cohort so. Maybe not as normal. He reminds me of them tho./neg

Mahiru

3. Favourite non-MV official illustration?

Ainandesuyo album illust!!!! It's so pretty

Honorary mention to the 2nd anni illustration cuz I have the acrylic standee of it :p

Piss ass quality photo of said standee (I'm not at home rn so I can't take a better one lmao)

11. Favourite parts of the story n narrative surrounding them?

One that surprised me that I was interested in was how she views love. I'm aroace so I usually am. Really disinterested with themes and topics of romantic love especially (hence why I thought she was kinda boring when I first got into milgram) but honestly I love seeing how her perception of love is and how it's warped and yet she clings onto it so tightly that she says she'll die if she can't love the way she does (iirc. Haven't watched vds in forever but I swear she said something along those lines)

Within Milgram story wise I do think it's interesting how her injuries affect not just her but those around her, and I think it's interesting how they have it affect different characters differently, even to the point of being a big factor in another character's changes between trials. I like when characters affect other characters

12. What do you wish would be discussed more about them in the fandom?

I'm gonna be real I barely discuss mahiru myself 💥 cuz I tend to hyperfocus on the characters i was originally the most interested in. HOWEVER idothink she should be discussed more in general. She's a very interesting character and I want to know others people's thoughts on her and her murder and allat. Yippeee

13. Any idea on how their MV would've been like with a different verdict in t1?

OUGH ok hm. I think it would've stuck more closely to ainandesuyo's vibe. Esp since her ideals on how love is wouldn'tve been rejected. Think the rose tinted glasses parts of daisuki. Yeag mostly that. Maybe a few more cracks on the surface than ainandesuyo tho.

14. Any appearance headcanons?

Idk I like to think she's a lil chubby. I follow milgrams designs almost to a T but I do also think she'd have slightly tanner skin. Maybe cuz she reminds me of a friend lmaooo

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

u asked for more details 👀🫶 lmaoo dksjsksbsi im so embarrassed!! anyways- STOP THIS IS SO LONG IM SO SORRY UM UMM

so my friend from school invited me to her house for drinks & monopoly. im competitive, i needed to win- but we got so deep into our convos & kept forgetting whos turn it was so we gave up on the game. by this time im already feeling it hard, a handful of shots & only hot cheetos in my system 😭 ikik js im vegetarian & they only had pepperoni pizza-

at the start it was 5 of us, my school friend (G), her husband, her bsf (P) & another school friend + mee

her husband left for his night shift. the other school friend left home early. G + P were crossfaded cus they were smokin too. theres a balcony so while they smoke out there, i join them so i wont be alone inside. its winter for us, it got cold, i cuddled P on the bench & then kind of blacked out?? next thing i remember is seeing G showing us her boobs😭 & then we took turns showing them off & i was like jaja this is funnyy but i have to pee ,,going back inside i biffed it, falling on my face & P comes to help me but before i stand up, shes pouring more shots in my mouth. i black out again. next thing i remember is falling on my ass against the sink counter in the bathroom. the lights are off, i look up and see P & we were doing a fewwww thingss wink wink -black out again. next memory is being in the guest room, all 3 of us making out & i vividly remember being like yo is ur husband & ur bf gonna be okayy with thiiss..

& they both were like its ok cmon. & before i blacked out again, i remember thinking to myself jeje been horny for days cus of all those fanfics, i js knoooww simon would be impressed by how wet i am rn -FLEOWJWB 😭😭 i hate my brain. its ruined.

pls my hearts racing thinking back to it. It was my first time meeting P, what a goofy first impression. oh hey we have the same friend! lets jiggy in her guest bedroom!😟

G also said at one point she left cus her hubby got home & came back to P & I passed out. I woke up in the middle of the night & processed wtv memories i had, whispering to myself, “simon would be a lip biter” & THEN WHEN I WOKE UP I SAW I HAD BRUISES ON MY LIPS & P SAID SHES NO LIP BITTER BUT SUMN POSSESSED HER TO ??? also bruises on my knees & arm from when i kept tripping :)

that was saturday. on monday, G & i talked abt it in person 🧍‍♂️ she said she was curious which is why she engaged. she says she remembers it all, i wish i did. she still hasnt told her husband tho. oop- uh yuh but we’re all chill jeje. we all feel neutral about it. it was fun, i was mostly touch starved, P is open to wtv & G was curious 🤷‍♂️ wouldnt seek that out again w them but it was fun & what happened happened yk

bro. BRO.

I had to sit with this for a few days before I could answer. This is an adventure and a half. getting drunk (and high???) and thinking "simon would be a lip biter" while making out with someone?

anon you're a real one.

[zaggyzoo]

ok let's go. tumblr user zaggyzoo currently watching dramas recap (or whatever):

love in contract (ep. 9): as we say in italy, this is just fried air. i feel like every episode progressively gets worse, but not even in a "this show is Bad" way, it's just sooo mediocre. to me. mediocre premises, mediocre characters, mediocre plots, mediocre love triangle that i hoped we had left back in 2017. every episode i feel like nothing happens at all and I can't wait for it to end and i think the reason i didn't drop it yet is bc it's the only show that isn't on fri/sat/sun. and tbh things do happen, the problem is that they're all things you could've guessed from the third episode and they're just. not up to the quality of the type of drama it wants so badly to be. djjdjdjd wow sorry i don't even hate it but it's just sooo mediocre.

one dollar lawyer (ep.8): my bestie <33 love this show wow. they had a bit of a too long and emotional heavy two-episodes backstory that could've have been maybe managed differently but i get why it was necessary and now we're back to the silly antics soo I can't wait to see the new episodes!! it's genuinely so funny and it even made me think the courtroom scenes were soo fun to watch. made me think of while you were sleeping, which i loved watching so 🙏 that's high praise hfhdjdh

the golden spoon (ep.5): wow i'm three episodes behind on this helppp i do enjoy watching it (even though it has its flaws) but i never feel like starting an episode. helppp it feels like a chore even though i want to catch up. so uhm sjhdhdhdh but anyway i think this is very korean in themes, I don't think this story could work in any other context quite as well. and i also like how sungjae character is an interesting protagonist, as in, interesting how his character is, considering the usual role of a protagonist and its relationship with the viewer (that makes sense to me sorry). but in contrast I don't quite like how they didn't give the same treatment to yeojin as a villain 🤥 but maybe it's too early to talk (i hope)

gaus electronics (ep. 6): soooo silly djjdjd <3 the comedy is so slapstick and i think sometimes it could be finer, to be funnier. like for my tastes, it doesn't make me laugh out loud the whole episode, but i AM entertained for a good portion of it so 😌👍 also better kiss scene than most romantic dramas rn like 🙏😳🙌 and the 45 min format is really fitting

under the queen's umbrella (ep.2): this just started so 👁️ but i missed watching a period drama so much sooo i want to enjoy it fjjfjf gye seong must be protected at all costs 😭 btw actually surprised they went there! like i called it, at the end of first episode, but still ! i hope they're respectful and treat it with dignity and respect and the preview of next ep it looks like it but i'm still scared a bit 🤥 anyway why did i think it was a comedy when I start it fjfjfj also chani mean girl slay

may i help you (ep.2): the happines-park-hyungsik-ification of lee junyoung.... 😳😌🙌☺️🙏😼😖 sooo glad to see him act with hyeri, and it looks like a good one?? i'm shook. the start was a bit confusing but I think it was intentional, and i was then pretty neutral about the show but in the second episode there's a scene that is just soooo cute and made me think. oh this is good i enjoy this ! junyoung comedy king tbh. ALSO interesting how kdramaa usually like to have older actors with younger actresses, while he's often paired with older actresses à la lee jaewook 👁️ they do have the same charm i think... tbh while watching alchemy of souls i did think junyoung could do that role too so fjfhjfjf (love jaewook btw no hate 😭) OH ALSO it's so funny always to me to see how different catholicism is in korea from here lmaoo and i guess I don't really get how it ties in with the supernatural aspect of this show, that part leaves me a bit 🤔 but it's probably also too soon so we'll have to see

[boyinatown]

LOOKISM CHAPTER 435 ( SPOILERS)

Warning : spoilers, do not continue if your not this far yet. a/n : yes i´ll be more active now, i´ll do my best for you guys. this is going into a second part bc i had to many memes so. 😭

the gun effect, bro on top of someone again. 💀 little zest king

pov : kars saying that on phone

HIS MEN? bros def into men . he kisses that thick neck bitch gn.

also why his outfit look like...

ELI JANG DUPEEEE ( i want his childeren so bad )

eli wore it better, hands down. my bbg did it better 😩

why is he on a cart ride rn, does this look like six flags to that mf

yes zaddy yes i did come. and hard oh my goshh im lit orgasmin rn

´IF U SEE ME FIGHTING IN THE FOREST WITH A GIRZZLY BEAR, HELP THE BEAR THAT BITCH GON NEED IT!!´ vibes, because why is he holding that shit? in an underwear? what is this? texas´s whorish hunting season? i DESPISE him. #screwthisthickneckwhore

who tf is this ugly ass bitch, tryna look like a serial killer with ugly mf dogs like that.

hold on is that...

these mfs are twins, i call it.

that dude abt to be smacked along with his dogs, WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE WOLVERINE THO???

WHY ARE HIS SHOULDERS SO BIG, CANT EVEN SEE HIS NECK..

the man spreading... its like he BEGS me to jump through the screen to fuck him. 😒😒

kark when i pull up:

DANIEL TAMED THOSE DOGS 😭 they’re side eyeing him fr wondering how a twink did that .

those dogs calling kark after daniel defeated them :

the dogs when an 5´6 twink, probably gay beats them up without a worry of peta:

wished i was that phone...ngl why is he so FINE

kwak watching kark break his phone :

Daddy incoming..

whos that pokemon?

i just ´ arrived to ´ LMAOO I NEED TO STOPPPP BC WHY IS HUDSON SO HOT HERE?? I HAD BEEF WITH HIM BUT NVM.

WHY IS THIS MF ALWAYS ON AN BIKE?? WHY CANT HE SHOW UP WALKING EVEN FLOATING IS BETTER. but he looks cute doing it so its fine 😭😭

Bro dropped mfs off a cliff and popped a wheelie why is he so effortlessly funny . 💀 Daniel come get ur bf

pov : jay riding away after he just dumped a bunch of dudes down a cliff to their deaths.

him acting as if he didn´t murder dudes:

´ so when am i gonna get head from daniel?´

[gab-has-adhd]

i was the last anon... omg u replied!! did not expect that tbh 😭😭 & yeah i don't *actually* hate illumi, in fact i think it'd be near impossible atp because. a) he's way too relatable + b) i adore his character, and his family and his everything bc of how complex he is. he's amazing. stunning. jaw-dropping. horrendous. terrible. terrifying. all at once & I Appreciate Him So Much (tm) for it :]

also speaking of illumi... i am so interested in kikyo. like ik a lot of people in the hxh fandom find her irritating (she is sometimes) but she's a mother too - specifically the zoldyck's mother - and i think as a character, she would have such an in-depth backstory that we haven't even gotten into yet (at least from where i'm currently at rn in the manga lmfao.. manifesting the future chapters give us more abt her bc i Need to know everything about her history in meteor city 🙏)

another thing abt ur reply - UR SO RIGHT ABT WANTING TO BEHAVE LIKE ILLUMI 🙁🙁 as someone who relates to his trauma & thought process, me and him cld not be more different fr. i am too Fiery. i get into too much Trouble for losing my temper at the Worst times. illumi tho?? he looks emotionless (even tho he's not) but i need that kind of detachedness to get around w my daily life 😭 god made me traumatized but not cold as ice How is this fair Please i need a life refund T___T

im so sorry omg i keep writing essays in these asks 🙁 anyways i also hope u have a great morning/day/evening!!! its almost 12am i need to get back to studying for exams LMAOO hope ur doing well tho (drink water bff)

Hi again anon! 🌸 thank you for sending me another ask ufufufu it's almost 5 am for me but it seems I'm going to hae a sleepless night aGAIN for some reasons gnsngmsmcj

Good luck for your exams! I sincerely hope you'll be successful <3 and please never worry about sending me essays hahaha I love it very much 💕

I agree so much with you on Kikyo! I am usually not very big on female characters for some reasons but kikyo is so cool! I need to know more about her! I like her fucked up personality though lmaooo she is a Zoldyck indeed 🙏 like yes she IS irritating but it's because she literally is the MOTHER in a FAMILY OF ASSASSINS I think at this point every Zoldyck is allowed to be irritating LOL

I truly hope Togashi will give us more about her. She's from Meteor City after all, who knows what crazy things happened to her back there! Also I desperately need to know how she met Silva and how they fell in love.

Where are you currently in the manga? Just wanna make sure I don't drop any spoiler material if you send me more asks ufufu!

ALSO OMG I FEEL YOU SO MUCH ABOUT NOT BEHAVING LIKE ILLUMI. Like sure he probably behaves like this because he was deeply traumatized but... look I have ADHD and BPD, nature wasn't very nice with me. The combination makes me extremely impulsive, extremely emotive and very easily angered. My behavior is basically an emotional rollercoaster LMAOOO I just wish I was able to keep a cold face like Illumi 😭 who knows maybe his emotions are wild in his brain but at least he's able to completely conceal them. This is a skill I would appreciate having.

Instead my traumatized dumb ass self decided to gift me the ability to hide my upset-ness until I eventually explode. Which is. A pretty unhealthy behavior LMAO but I'm working on it :)))

Who knows, maybe one day Illumi is going to explode too 😶 not saying I actually want him to explode but somehow I think I would get so emotional if it ever happend to him. Like. Illumi breaking down nervously and. IDK crying maybe. This sounds wildly out of character but wow...

[3dayweeknd]

thank you @brokenbellss for the tag mmwah

nickname: most people call me lindsey but i like it when i get linds/lins once in a while

sign: libra

height: 5′5″

last thing i googled: “os penis” ok i swear im normal. let me explain so I am studying reproductive systems rn for my class called anatomy of domestic animals. and there’s a thing called os penis which is when an animal like dog/cat gets an erection and the penis ossifies so there’s a bone in the penis. and i wasn’t understanding how that happened like anatomically/physically so i looked it up ok!!!

song stuck in my head: when did i lose it all by Pale Waves

number of followers: like 45 lmaoo i block a lot of people that try to follow me mostly if they’re creepy or no age in bio

amount of sleep: 6-8 hours usually

dream job: veterinarian (my top choices are small/exotic companion animals, then large domestic animals)

wearing: pj pants, cropped tank top, fuzzy slippers, necklace

books that summarize you: im ngl i havent read anything in a while. im just gonna go with i would leave me if i could by halsey. not too difficult of a read but a lot of the pieces resonated with me

fav song: either eyelids or anyone else both by PVRIS

fav instrument: piano i play it and its better than playing violin to me. also its just like an awesome instrument in any genre and as a bass or percussion or melodic and just a great instrument all around

aesthetic: i think im usually either very hyperfeminine or grungey i love pink and my room is all pink but i also love my demonias and spikey jewelry <33

fav author: i do not read enough to know lmfaoo. I’ll just say my favorite book series is the lunar chronicles

random fun fact: hmmm. i think not a lot of people know this but i have a runway walk lol. when i was like 15 i did like a training thing for models and did like 2 fashion shows so that’s how i learned lmfaoo. im not saying im amazing at it but i generally know how to do it

ok thats it im scared to tag anyone cuz i dont wanna be annoying but if u wanna do this just say i tagged u cuz i’ll definitely read yours hehe

[soulfullionbunny]

Why stalking is a bad idea

Stalked her twitter for ONCE sbb nak tngok any info for her bday celebrations. BUT DIA UPLOAD PHOTO CHAT DGN LAKI ROASTING HER. lmaoo haihhh this is whyyy. ignorance is a bliss.

Emo dump: alale minah ni, time aku roast punya ckp "asal u cakap camtu" pastu buat muka concern dia. or dia ckp "i dont appreciate it" >:(" or start to shut down instead of roasting back. lmao. ooh bestnye roast2, except with me apparently hhahahahha. im soo emotional rn. why do you betray yourslef like this. dah ckp jgn check kau tngok jugak. she is not accommodating you in her life lagi. dah ;a dia enable body shame. bila aku roast punya emo. takat flat mcm bookmark huh copy paste kat internet. takat tu aku pun boleh. "hey you are so flat, orng B40 ingt kau government housing", "you are so flat your side profile is a line" "you are so flat, papan was insulted when you were called papan"👎🏻👎🏻bnyk je aku simpan sbb nak jaga hati, dia x tau aku savage. roasting is my love language okayy. bruh you know i actually love roasting her, sbb dia ada tendency utk screeching after a while. my godd patut aku abuse je my right, dia x tau anak bongsu of 5 brother repressed malice mcm mana haahha

Coping:

Rationale. i am not personality hire bf. im just a eye candy hire bf. I dont have the charisma (or enough) for her to banter with me. im not supposed to do that bcs its not funny. im not funny. i cant delivery jokes for shit. i can talk w/o berbelit lidah. my value is just looks. i cant engage a banter with her without starting a fight or make it akward. im the type that better off diam or my value plummet. (believable bcs a lot of people said that)

Self reflecting. I suck at delivering or starting it, it sounds like an insult when i say it. (this just refered to point 1, which is personality issue)

Delulu. she love me so much that everything i said is taken srsly❤❤❤ aww i never kneww. ciannye diaa, tapi asal bila aku ckp dia cantik dia x percayaaa ❤❤❤ heheheh (yea im not falling for it, delulu sangt)

*banter. that word unlocked memories. bad memories lmao

dia x tau anak bongsu of 5 brother repressed malice mcm mana

*hmm... actually i dont think aku ada show that side of me to her isnt it? ok probably not ENTIRELY her fault la. x nak buat dia nangis but i think dia nak menangis kena roast, bukan menangis sbb heart broken.

[caressthosecheekbones]

4, 8, & 10 please!

I know that ask was actually meant for the writers end of year thing from days ago but as I am no writer... sadly... (well, aren't we all in a way? But also not really?) Anyway. I thought I might just answer it like this... hope you don't mind. 4. Movie of the year

I have two replies to that question: (so. movie(s) of my year)

Aftersun. I watched it twice in the cinema and have cried my eyes out both times. One letterboxd review I wrote kinda turned out like a poem, I love it so much. Red, White & Royal Blue. I've been vaguely aware the book existed when it came out in early 2019 and was a big hit. The content sounded absolutely ridiculous to me at the time and I felt "too mature" to even consider reading it. That was one pandemic + two years of therapy ago and I've since understood that every single kernel of joy that makes me even slightly want to cling to this sometimes godawful life is worth devouring. In its entirety. This summer the movie came out and I first "jokingly" watched it with a friend, couldn't shut up during it and criticized it harshly at times. (Still do on a level that has nothing to do with my enjoyment of it.) But there's an earnest joy and love it transported (also helpful: the two hottest guys I've ever seen smooching outside of gay p*rn), that made me still so happy that I dove deep into ao3 and found absolutely amazing stories from immensely talented writers. And so I kinda fell in love with it a bit unwillingly. Didn't fall first but fell hard lmaoo 8. Game of the year?

I'm not a gamer umm soo... how about I answer number 5?

5. TV show of the year?

The White Lotus, especially season 2. The story, characters, dialogue, production design, costumes... there's absolutely nothing about it I don't love and I watched it twice in two weeks which is insane considering my usual media consumption habits. I can highly recommend it. (thanks tumblr for doing so at the time)

10. Something that made you cry this year?

The joy of being alive. And isn't that the absolute perfect thing to answer. In my case it certainly is.

Thanks for the ask and I hope you don't mind that I played around with it. May 2024 bring you inner peace and confidence in everything you will set out to do in the new year. Until then please enjoy the last hours in this one. <3