#its 5 am rn LMAOO

[chrollogy]

oh my god i woke up bc i knew i forgot something 😭

[needyoulikeaheartbeet]

a little late but for lover's 5th birthday...

i have sorted the tracklist!!! lover is truly one of my favourite albums so this was incredibly hard ;-;

False God

Death By A Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

Lover

The Man

London Boy

It's Nice To Have A Friend

Paper Rings

Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince

You Need To Calm Down

ME!

Afterglow

I Think He Knows

The Archer

Cornelia Street

I Forgot That You Existed

Daylight

(ask me to redo this in a few hours and it will be different and also i love every song so much there is no bottom ranked song here like.... daylight is a top ranker for me.... why is she down there.... cornelia street honey what are you doing..... i forgot that you existed you bad ass bitch get up whats going on... even INTHAF should be higher... why are numbers and rankings like this.... i love u all)

lover i love u happy 5 years <3

[littlepuffy4ever]

Drawing bird AM a lot bc of my comic and I genuinely love to draw him and how he looks

He's so silly (even though he has committed every war crimes but that's okay, he's a silly bird)

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

WOOO YEAH WE'VE GOT CANNIBALISM LET'S GO- I like gore lmao -🌟

YEAHHHHH!!!!! 😩💅 YEAH!

[jealousmartini]

Hii, one day I came across ur acc, and I loved it! Even the aura I scripted for my kpop drs, is the same as yours but with some different things lol Today while still deciding some things to add to my aura, I realize that I REALLY wanna create some drama. Like me and an idol having beef, or me defending myself bc a female iodl wants to beat me up idk but I feel like i'm the only one lmao. I see everyone wanna be friends with their idols and their s/o but I wanna be an idol specially to know all the drama going behind the cameras, the HOT tea. Like did 2 male idols ever beat the sh#t out of each other back of the MAMA building during awards shows? Or how do idols ever go to parties with out being caught? And if so, do idols who are minors go to parties?? Bc I'm a minor rn, and I'm going to shift with my age, and I LOVE parties 🤩 but I'm not gonna script things like "all idols can go out freely" bc I wanna see the raw thing, how idols actually live.

Actually I just came here to ask u if u have any drama with another idols in ur dr, or if u plan to script anyone. And if so who and why? 🧐 But I ended speaking too much lmao. Anyways, love ur account 🫶🏾🫶🏾

OH MY GOSH ITS YOU! I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU LIKE ONE OF MY POSTS BUT YOUR PFP THREW ME OFF CUS I THOUGHT IT WAS ME LMAO😭😭😭

ANYWAY HEY SWEETHEART IM SO GLAD YOU LOVE MY BLOG❤️❤️ AND OHH MYY GODD I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH I HAVE SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY SO ILL BULLETPOINT THEM

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

DRAMA, CONTROVERSIES, AND SCANDALS.

DATING RUMOURS

First I'll start off by saying Taehyung and Jennie were 100% dating back in 2017-2019 and those pictures taken of them were definitely real.

And speaking of BTS members dating other idols, the biggest controversial dating rumour circulating BTS is if Jungkook and Chae Kyung are secretly dating because of the amount of references we've have made about each other and the candid pictures taken of us hanging out

Other than him, I do have like 5-6 dating rumours with other idols too but "KyuKook" or "Rookie" is the most popular ship surrounding me in my reality.

Also I kind of have a thing for controversial ships can't lie. I am a freak for older men (AS LONG AS ITS ONLY THE MEN I LIKE LMAOO😭😭) so I do not care if fans ship me with yoongi or jin or whatever cus I may or may not have scripted it but that's none of your business.

BEEF RUMOURS

Now see me personally I don't have any real beef with any idols but more with anonymous haters. There are countless meme clips of me responding to haters cussing them out and fact checking them it's actually hilarious how I am 85% of the reason why O.M.G is called the messiest group.

Yeah no beef rumours for me

IDOLS GO PARTYING

No one actually understands how much I love this topic because in this reality, I am not big on parties but I wish I liked them so ive scripted in my kpop dr that I enjoy parties (I also scripted I'm a bit of a lightweight just to be dramatic) and I have always wondered how idols got away with sneaking out to parties some of the time unnoticed.

Of course not always because of those candid pictures of idols walking together and dancing in a club but the idea of it is so exciting to me plus I don't really gaf if a fan sees me and I get hate for it lmao. I'm out here dancing and being shipped with YOUR "oppa", and YOU'RE🫵🏾 not!

If anything, I am looking forward to those candid pictures cus I love the attention so nah I'm not scripting "idols can go partying freely" I LIVE FOR THE DRAMA. GIVE ME THAT ADRENALINE RUSH🗣🗣‼️

[nicegaai]

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[nijisanji-brain-rot-fics]

rating the fanbases in nijisanji en that im in 🤠🤘

also im not hating on yall im just talking about…… some colorful things about the fan communities im in

aight for one, kyomies. = FUCKING -18/10

im scared of like some of yall. like ongod 😭 either chill or so fucking down bad WW like oh god i watched the confessions stream YOU GUYS. ARE SCARY. PLEASE. I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES MY JAW DROPPED WATCHING THAT STREAM. also we needa stop bullying kyo for being the shortest male in nijisanji en lmao hes coping already 💀AHEM… TO ANY OF YALL WHO GENUINELY LIKE ASTERS FEET CAM STREAM… DNI (jkjk but like keep a respectable distance from me pls 🧍✋ yall scare me enough)

kindreds!! = 5/10

yall horny as fuck. all i gotta say. we all know the gwak gwak incident, lets leave it pls. also yall are nice, everyone in chat is pretty nice, yk you get a parasocial chatter every once and a while but oh well wwww 💀💀 ehmmm theyre like the first niji en fanbase ive been in, i have a friend irl whos a kindred, theyre nice yk did not prepare me for the shitshow the online kindreds are

villions = 8/10

i know, we are all probably down bad for ber whenever he speaks korean, BUT CAN YOU BLAME US?? i wanna bet ver is half of his fanbases’ reason to learn korean (can vouch because i started to relearn kr bc of him 😭👌) ALSO HES SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIM!! villions in general, yall r nice, like all i gotta say LOL

sicklings = 4/10

basically kindreds but like twice as horny and mentally ill 💀like goddamn yall listen to his yandere asmrs and go ‘he can fix me’?? is that like a thing in this fanbase? 😭 how mentally ill yall had to be to fall for a therapist [bullying myself rn] like holy shit also that one overlay incident 🫣 lets not talk about it but like anyways yall are ok, its a debatable topic also just wanted to say hex looks like the type of person to have a rice purity score of 53 idk

FaMillie = 10/10

OK SO IM BIASED BC IM ALSO A FILIPINO AND YK SWAGPINOS UNITE BUT YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY I CANT LIE, YOU HAVE GENUINELY MADE ME CACKLE SOMETIMES especially the hugot lines stream, my mom fucking got mad at me for laughing so much some of yall are unhinged like stop bullying millie LOL ik its for shits and giggles but damn, yall are being mean sometimes 😭

Quilldren = 6/10

personally, i havent been in the fanbase too much but most of you guys are chill so neutral score. havent seen too much stir from ike's fans so thats nice, good to know theres one fan base that isnt overtly chaotic [from what ive seen 👀]

scythekicks = 8/10

girl is this fanbase dead or am i just not active on twitter? probably the latter LMAO but like i barely see any doppio fans in the wild like where are yall come out come out you may be outta scythe but you aint outta my mind WWWW we all love doppio in the scythekick household, that man gets so entertained so easily

uhhhh shit ok pls dont cancel me WWWWW IM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE I PROMISE THIS IS ALL FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES im in these fan bases too IM BASICALLY FUCKING MYSELF OVER

also posts are gonna be slow as fuuuck cuz schools starting and yknow we gotta COME IN DO YOU READ ME?-

im just kidding guys dont hate me for this WWW its for giggles so dont take it to heart

i think i did this wrong in so many ways but oh well LMAOO

[stuffedsand]

Haruka - 1, 2, 5, and 9

Fuuta - 4 and 19

Mahiru - 3, 11, 12, 13, and 14

Woah that's a lot!! Ty for the ask :p under the cut cuz my answers r gonna be long tm

Haruka 1,2,5,9

1. Favourite song lyrics?

"if only I could do what anyone else could, the right future unfairly chose the wrong me"

It's the most obvious but I really like it :p

2. Favourite MV moment?

These!!!

They're really pretty and I just really like the collage aesthetic of some of the shots, also the one at the start before the song even starts and the uhhh. Bludgeoning of the dog👍

5. Favourite VD line/moment?

To be fr I barely remember the vds,,, but moment wise I do like when es fucking. Threw him across the room (t1) because what the fuck es+the character thing of how he really just wants any type of attention and is glad that es is even listening to him in the first place,,,,like boy no,,,,,

9. Do you forgive their crime on its own?

..........aughgh. ok I don't. Particularly forgive it. Sibling of his or not the girl hasn't been shown to have done anything wrong? Also murder is bad 👎 so by virtue of a direct murder I probably wouldn't forgive him. I will forgive him t3 but like...not his murder itself yk

Fuuta

4. Favourite minigram moment?

The one where they make fun of his height lmaooo hold on I can find it

THESE 2 the height one is funny as hell they didn't have to use 2 other prisoners just kotoko would've been fine but they doubled down on the "haha short" lmaOO

And the kendama one is just silly look at his face

19. What do you think their teenage/childhood years were like?

Honestly I think he's been chronically online for a WHILE. Definitely was part of "the boys" in like. What middle school? Around 13-16. He was definitely one of them and god would he have been insufferable. So relatively normal. At least by today's standards. Apparantly the "boys are absolutely fucking insufferable save like 2 people" thing is almost exclusive to my cohort so. Maybe not as normal. He reminds me of them tho./neg

Mahiru

3. Favourite non-MV official illustration?

Ainandesuyo album illust!!!! It's so pretty

Honorary mention to the 2nd anni illustration cuz I have the acrylic standee of it :p

Piss ass quality photo of said standee (I'm not at home rn so I can't take a better one lmao)

11. Favourite parts of the story n narrative surrounding them?

One that surprised me that I was interested in was how she views love. I'm aroace so I usually am. Really disinterested with themes and topics of romantic love especially (hence why I thought she was kinda boring when I first got into milgram) but honestly I love seeing how her perception of love is and how it's warped and yet she clings onto it so tightly that she says she'll die if she can't love the way she does (iirc. Haven't watched vds in forever but I swear she said something along those lines)

Within Milgram story wise I do think it's interesting how her injuries affect not just her but those around her, and I think it's interesting how they have it affect different characters differently, even to the point of being a big factor in another character's changes between trials. I like when characters affect other characters

12. What do you wish would be discussed more about them in the fandom?

I'm gonna be real I barely discuss mahiru myself 💥 cuz I tend to hyperfocus on the characters i was originally the most interested in. HOWEVER idothink she should be discussed more in general. She's a very interesting character and I want to know others people's thoughts on her and her murder and allat. Yippeee

13. Any idea on how their MV would've been like with a different verdict in t1?

OUGH ok hm. I think it would've stuck more closely to ainandesuyo's vibe. Esp since her ideals on how love is wouldn'tve been rejected. Think the rose tinted glasses parts of daisuki. Yeag mostly that. Maybe a few more cracks on the surface than ainandesuyo tho.

14. Any appearance headcanons?

Idk I like to think she's a lil chubby. I follow milgrams designs almost to a T but I do also think she'd have slightly tanner skin. Maybe cuz she reminds me of a friend lmaooo

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

u asked for more details 👀🫶 lmaoo dksjsksbsi im so embarrassed!! anyways- STOP THIS IS SO LONG IM SO SORRY UM UMM

so my friend from school invited me to her house for drinks & monopoly. im competitive, i needed to win- but we got so deep into our convos & kept forgetting whos turn it was so we gave up on the game. by this time im already feeling it hard, a handful of shots & only hot cheetos in my system 😭 ikik js im vegetarian & they only had pepperoni pizza-

at the start it was 5 of us, my school friend (G), her husband, her bsf (P) & another school friend + mee

her husband left for his night shift. the other school friend left home early. G + P were crossfaded cus they were smokin too. theres a balcony so while they smoke out there, i join them so i wont be alone inside. its winter for us, it got cold, i cuddled P on the bench & then kind of blacked out?? next thing i remember is seeing G showing us her boobs😭 & then we took turns showing them off & i was like jaja this is funnyy but i have to pee ,,going back inside i biffed it, falling on my face & P comes to help me but before i stand up, shes pouring more shots in my mouth. i black out again. next thing i remember is falling on my ass against the sink counter in the bathroom. the lights are off, i look up and see P & we were doing a fewwww thingss wink wink -black out again. next memory is being in the guest room, all 3 of us making out & i vividly remember being like yo is ur husband & ur bf gonna be okayy with thiiss..

& they both were like its ok cmon. & before i blacked out again, i remember thinking to myself jeje been horny for days cus of all those fanfics, i js knoooww simon would be impressed by how wet i am rn -FLEOWJWB 😭😭 i hate my brain. its ruined.

pls my hearts racing thinking back to it. It was my first time meeting P, what a goofy first impression. oh hey we have the same friend! lets jiggy in her guest bedroom!😟

G also said at one point she left cus her hubby got home & came back to P & I passed out. I woke up in the middle of the night & processed wtv memories i had, whispering to myself, “simon would be a lip biter” & THEN WHEN I WOKE UP I SAW I HAD BRUISES ON MY LIPS & P SAID SHES NO LIP BITTER BUT SUMN POSSESSED HER TO ??? also bruises on my knees & arm from when i kept tripping :)

that was saturday. on monday, G & i talked abt it in person 🧍‍♂️ she said she was curious which is why she engaged. she says she remembers it all, i wish i did. she still hasnt told her husband tho. oop- uh yuh but we’re all chill jeje. we all feel neutral about it. it was fun, i was mostly touch starved, P is open to wtv & G was curious 🤷‍♂️ wouldnt seek that out again w them but it was fun & what happened happened yk

bro. BRO.

I had to sit with this for a few days before I could answer. This is an adventure and a half. getting drunk (and high???) and thinking "simon would be a lip biter" while making out with someone?

anon you're a real one.

[boyinatown]

LOOKISM CHAPTER 435 ( SPOILERS)

Warning : spoilers, do not continue if your not this far yet. a/n : yes i´ll be more active now, i´ll do my best for you guys. this is going into a second part bc i had to many memes so. 😭

the gun effect, bro on top of someone again. 💀 little zest king

pov : kars saying that on phone

HIS MEN? bros def into men . he kisses that thick neck bitch gn.

also why his outfit look like...

ELI JANG DUPEEEE ( i want his childeren so bad )

eli wore it better, hands down. my bbg did it better 😩

why is he on a cart ride rn, does this look like six flags to that mf

yes zaddy yes i did come. and hard oh my goshh im lit orgasmin rn

´IF U SEE ME FIGHTING IN THE FOREST WITH A GIRZZLY BEAR, HELP THE BEAR THAT BITCH GON NEED IT!!´ vibes, because why is he holding that shit? in an underwear? what is this? texas´s whorish hunting season? i DESPISE him. #screwthisthickneckwhore

who tf is this ugly ass bitch, tryna look like a serial killer with ugly mf dogs like that.

hold on is that...

these mfs are twins, i call it.

that dude abt to be smacked along with his dogs, WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE WOLVERINE THO???

WHY ARE HIS SHOULDERS SO BIG, CANT EVEN SEE HIS NECK..

the man spreading... its like he BEGS me to jump through the screen to fuck him. 😒😒

kark when i pull up:

DANIEL TAMED THOSE DOGS 😭 they’re side eyeing him fr wondering how a twink did that .

those dogs calling kark after daniel defeated them :

the dogs when an 5´6 twink, probably gay beats them up without a worry of peta:

wished i was that phone...ngl why is he so FINE

kwak watching kark break his phone :

Daddy incoming..

whos that pokemon?

i just ´ arrived to ´ LMAOO I NEED TO STOPPPP BC WHY IS HUDSON SO HOT HERE?? I HAD BEEF WITH HIM BUT NVM.

WHY IS THIS MF ALWAYS ON AN BIKE?? WHY CANT HE SHOW UP WALKING EVEN FLOATING IS BETTER. but he looks cute doing it so its fine 😭😭

Bro dropped mfs off a cliff and popped a wheelie why is he so effortlessly funny . 💀 Daniel come get ur bf

pov : jay riding away after he just dumped a bunch of dudes down a cliff to their deaths.

him acting as if he didn´t murder dudes:

´ so when am i gonna get head from daniel?´

[gab-has-adhd]

i was the last anon... omg u replied!! did not expect that tbh 😭😭 & yeah i don't *actually* hate illumi, in fact i think it'd be near impossible atp because. a) he's way too relatable + b) i adore his character, and his family and his everything bc of how complex he is. he's amazing. stunning. jaw-dropping. horrendous. terrible. terrifying. all at once & I Appreciate Him So Much (tm) for it :]

also speaking of illumi... i am so interested in kikyo. like ik a lot of people in the hxh fandom find her irritating (she is sometimes) but she's a mother too - specifically the zoldyck's mother - and i think as a character, she would have such an in-depth backstory that we haven't even gotten into yet (at least from where i'm currently at rn in the manga lmfao.. manifesting the future chapters give us more abt her bc i Need to know everything about her history in meteor city 🙏)

another thing abt ur reply - UR SO RIGHT ABT WANTING TO BEHAVE LIKE ILLUMI 🙁🙁 as someone who relates to his trauma & thought process, me and him cld not be more different fr. i am too Fiery. i get into too much Trouble for losing my temper at the Worst times. illumi tho?? he looks emotionless (even tho he's not) but i need that kind of detachedness to get around w my daily life 😭 god made me traumatized but not cold as ice How is this fair Please i need a life refund T___T

im so sorry omg i keep writing essays in these asks 🙁 anyways i also hope u have a great morning/day/evening!!! its almost 12am i need to get back to studying for exams LMAOO hope ur doing well tho (drink water bff)

Hi again anon! 🌸 thank you for sending me another ask ufufufu it's almost 5 am for me but it seems I'm going to hae a sleepless night aGAIN for some reasons gnsngmsmcj

Good luck for your exams! I sincerely hope you'll be successful <3 and please never worry about sending me essays hahaha I love it very much 💕

I agree so much with you on Kikyo! I am usually not very big on female characters for some reasons but kikyo is so cool! I need to know more about her! I like her fucked up personality though lmaooo she is a Zoldyck indeed 🙏 like yes she IS irritating but it's because she literally is the MOTHER in a FAMILY OF ASSASSINS I think at this point every Zoldyck is allowed to be irritating LOL

I truly hope Togashi will give us more about her. She's from Meteor City after all, who knows what crazy things happened to her back there! Also I desperately need to know how she met Silva and how they fell in love.

Where are you currently in the manga? Just wanna make sure I don't drop any spoiler material if you send me more asks ufufu!

ALSO OMG I FEEL YOU SO MUCH ABOUT NOT BEHAVING LIKE ILLUMI. Like sure he probably behaves like this because he was deeply traumatized but... look I have ADHD and BPD, nature wasn't very nice with me. The combination makes me extremely impulsive, extremely emotive and very easily angered. My behavior is basically an emotional rollercoaster LMAOOO I just wish I was able to keep a cold face like Illumi 😭 who knows maybe his emotions are wild in his brain but at least he's able to completely conceal them. This is a skill I would appreciate having.

Instead my traumatized dumb ass self decided to gift me the ability to hide my upset-ness until I eventually explode. Which is. A pretty unhealthy behavior LMAO but I'm working on it :)))

Who knows, maybe one day Illumi is going to explode too 😶 not saying I actually want him to explode but somehow I think I would get so emotional if it ever happend to him. Like. Illumi breaking down nervously and. IDK crying maybe. This sounds wildly out of character but wow...

[3dayweeknd]

thank you @brokenbellss for the tag mmwah

nickname: most people call me lindsey but i like it when i get linds/lins once in a while

sign: libra

height: 5′5″

last thing i googled: “os penis” ok i swear im normal. let me explain so I am studying reproductive systems rn for my class called anatomy of domestic animals. and there’s a thing called os penis which is when an animal like dog/cat gets an erection and the penis ossifies so there’s a bone in the penis. and i wasn’t understanding how that happened like anatomically/physically so i looked it up ok!!!

song stuck in my head: when did i lose it all by Pale Waves

number of followers: like 45 lmaoo i block a lot of people that try to follow me mostly if they’re creepy or no age in bio

amount of sleep: 6-8 hours usually

dream job: veterinarian (my top choices are small/exotic companion animals, then large domestic animals)

wearing: pj pants, cropped tank top, fuzzy slippers, necklace

books that summarize you: im ngl i havent read anything in a while. im just gonna go with i would leave me if i could by halsey. not too difficult of a read but a lot of the pieces resonated with me

fav song: either eyelids or anyone else both by PVRIS

fav instrument: piano i play it and its better than playing violin to me. also its just like an awesome instrument in any genre and as a bass or percussion or melodic and just a great instrument all around

aesthetic: i think im usually either very hyperfeminine or grungey i love pink and my room is all pink but i also love my demonias and spikey jewelry <33

fav author: i do not read enough to know lmfaoo. I’ll just say my favorite book series is the lunar chronicles

random fun fact: hmmm. i think not a lot of people know this but i have a runway walk lol. when i was like 15 i did like a training thing for models and did like 2 fashion shows so that’s how i learned lmfaoo. im not saying im amazing at it but i generally know how to do it

ok thats it im scared to tag anyone cuz i dont wanna be annoying but if u wanna do this just say i tagged u cuz i’ll definitely read yours hehe

[soulfullionbunny]

Why stalking is a bad idea

Stalked her twitter for ONCE sbb nak tngok any info for her bday celebrations. BUT DIA UPLOAD PHOTO CHAT DGN LAKI ROASTING HER. lmaoo haihhh this is whyyy. ignorance is a bliss.

Emo dump: alale minah ni, time aku roast punya ckp "asal u cakap camtu" pastu buat muka concern dia. or dia ckp "i dont appreciate it" >:(" or start to shut down instead of roasting back. lmao. ooh bestnye roast2, except with me apparently hhahahahha. im soo emotional rn. why do you betray yourslef like this. dah ckp jgn check kau tngok jugak. she is not accommodating you in her life lagi. dah ;a dia enable body shame. bila aku roast punya emo. takat flat mcm bookmark huh copy paste kat internet. takat tu aku pun boleh. "hey you are so flat, orng B40 ingt kau government housing", "you are so flat your side profile is a line" "you are so flat, papan was insulted when you were called papan"👎🏻👎🏻bnyk je aku simpan sbb nak jaga hati, dia x tau aku savage. roasting is my love language okayy. bruh you know i actually love roasting her, sbb dia ada tendency utk screeching after a while. my godd patut aku abuse je my right, dia x tau anak bongsu of 5 brother repressed malice mcm mana haahha

Coping:

Rationale. i am not personality hire bf. im just a eye candy hire bf. I dont have the charisma (or enough) for her to banter with me. im not supposed to do that bcs its not funny. im not funny. i cant delivery jokes for shit. i can talk w/o berbelit lidah. my value is just looks. i cant engage a banter with her without starting a fight or make it akward. im the type that better off diam or my value plummet. (believable bcs a lot of people said that)

Self reflecting. I suck at delivering or starting it, it sounds like an insult when i say it. (this just refered to point 1, which is personality issue)

Delulu. she love me so much that everything i said is taken srsly❤❤❤ aww i never kneww. ciannye diaa, tapi asal bila aku ckp dia cantik dia x percayaaa ❤❤❤ heheheh (yea im not falling for it, delulu sangt)

*banter. that word unlocked memories. bad memories lmao

dia x tau anak bongsu of 5 brother repressed malice mcm mana

*hmm... actually i dont think aku ada show that side of me to her isnt it? ok probably not ENTIRELY her fault la. x nak buat dia nangis but i think dia nak menangis kena roast, bukan menangis sbb heart broken.

[caressthosecheekbones]

4, 8, & 10 please!

I know that ask was actually meant for the writers end of year thing from days ago but as I am no writer... sadly... (well, aren't we all in a way? But also not really?) Anyway. I thought I might just answer it like this... hope you don't mind. 4. Movie of the year

I have two replies to that question: (so. movie(s) of my year)

Aftersun. I watched it twice in the cinema and have cried my eyes out both times. One letterboxd review I wrote kinda turned out like a poem, I love it so much. Red, White & Royal Blue. I've been vaguely aware the book existed when it came out in early 2019 and was a big hit. The content sounded absolutely ridiculous to me at the time and I felt "too mature" to even consider reading it. That was one pandemic + two years of therapy ago and I've since understood that every single kernel of joy that makes me even slightly want to cling to this sometimes godawful life is worth devouring. In its entirety. This summer the movie came out and I first "jokingly" watched it with a friend, couldn't shut up during it and criticized it harshly at times. (Still do on a level that has nothing to do with my enjoyment of it.) But there's an earnest joy and love it transported (also helpful: the two hottest guys I've ever seen smooching outside of gay p*rn), that made me still so happy that I dove deep into ao3 and found absolutely amazing stories from immensely talented writers. And so I kinda fell in love with it a bit unwillingly. Didn't fall first but fell hard lmaoo 8. Game of the year?

I'm not a gamer umm soo... how about I answer number 5?

5. TV show of the year?

The White Lotus, especially season 2. The story, characters, dialogue, production design, costumes... there's absolutely nothing about it I don't love and I watched it twice in two weeks which is insane considering my usual media consumption habits. I can highly recommend it. (thanks tumblr for doing so at the time)

10. Something that made you cry this year?

The joy of being alive. And isn't that the absolute perfect thing to answer. In my case it certainly is.

Thanks for the ask and I hope you don't mind that I played around with it. May 2024 bring you inner peace and confidence in everything you will set out to do in the new year. Until then please enjoy the last hours in this one. <3

[myescapediary]

Update:

Hey! Its been two months and I have so much to say lmao. I swear time flies, can’t believe its been two months since I been on here. ANYWAYSS,

let me start of by saying my life been all over the fucking place, shit be changing so mf quick... I cant keep up. 

Work been great, love it there so far. Nothing to complain about other than sometimes time be going by so sloooow, I am trying to find another job during the weekends to have that as extra money for school or whatever. 

J, cut him off on wed 5/24/23 bcs mf going to FL with Brit for about 3/4 months and that honestly did not sit right with me at all. I just don’t understands why he wants to to be there like a dumb bitch as if he’s not building and continuing to build what they have going on like what???? Idk if its the fact that he’s been able to at least find someone and i have not. Yet again, I haven’t even tried to actually build something with anyone else bcs I been trying to be on my own. Also, he been ready to settle and wants to have a family and shit at an early age and i honestly don’t give af at this point. School is my priority rn and being able to be happy on my own. Ngl it does irk me too bcs i’m used to always having him to myself but this juts doesn't sit right with me, him actually trying to remove me slowly bcs he has her like wht???? Maybe this needed ti happen for me to finally cut ties. Of we are meant to be, we will get back together when the time is right. 

School is over, semester ended like two weeks ago and i ended it with allA’s and made deans list. Hopefully I keep it like that, i’m planning on taking summer courses but the money is always a issue so idk what to do. I feel bad not being able to help my parents tbh. I know i be going out like every weekend but I don’t spend money honestly, I have stopped spending money in dumb shit. 

I still hang with the same group and im honestly surprised bcs they don’t seem to be people who I hang with but they cool to go out with and thats it. Jacob been trying to get close to me and flirts with me but na lmaoo cant scoop that low fuck no. Bailee and JZ are a thing now LMAOO. She left her mans for him and ngl i was salty at first cus wtf?? but it showed me JZ true colors and i just laugh at him cus he’s dumb af and i know he knows but i am over him and don’t care anymore. Did him out of spite and yea i embarrassed myself but whatever shit happens. They planning a trip around my bday lets see if i go, tbh i don’t really care if i don’t go yet again ik ima feel left out af. 

I been having the urge to speak to Naz, but idk if i’m having those thoughts out of spite or bcs I actually care?? I know it wont kill me to reach out but i’m also embarrassed to reach out cus who tf am I? Like now I wanna text him?? yk, but we’ll see. 

Overall, i am happy where im at with school and just my social life. J has been taking a toll on me but i am going to try and actually heal and move on because I have not been giving myself that. 

May 27th, 2023 

2;25pm 

[carnation-damnation]

the tale of 2 registers