#its 2:56 am

[lokislittlesigyn]

unfortunately this is once again relevant

[volfoss]

do NOT ever make me translate a massive table again. i am in agony

[celiababy]

Ain't Right

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You have a major (borderline obsessive) crush on Joel, and you're on a mission to fuck him.

Warnings: 18+ SMUT MDNI, age gap (56/20), swearing, fingering (fem!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, size kink, cum eating, name calling, kinda mean Joel, alcohol, vomiting, an extremely brief mention of suicide

Disclaimer: I lowkey don't know the logistics of the show so if some things are wrong please look over it I'm just trying to write smut about Joel Miller godbless.

Ain't Right part 2

Ever since that tortured old man showed up in Jackson, your life hasn't been the same.

Tommy's older brother, and your absolute undoing.

When Joel Miller rode into town, it was like everything suddenly made sense. The skies got clearer, the air smelled better, and the birds even chirped their love songs louder.

Everything about him drew you in; his cold demeanor, stoic face, tired eyes—but gentle around those he cared about, which was only a few select people.

And you certainly were not one of those select people.

Joel didn't know what to think about you.

To him, you were odd. Yes, you were undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in Jackson, but he felt distance between the two of you was essential.

He felt this way because he knew.

Joel wasn't oblivious to your stares; he might've been an old man, but he remembered the laws of attraction fairly well.

He didn't like the thought of you liking him.

You were young, attractive, and had plenty of age-appropriate prospects just begging for your attention. Every boy in Jackson wanted a piece of you—but you only had eyes for Joel.

He was getting old and tired, ain't no reason why you should be so fond over him.

He also didn't like that you made your attraction so obvious. It made people whisper, and Joel about had enough teasing from Tommy.

"You gonna let that young thing jump your bones or what, Joel?" Is an example of the few things his brother would chirp at him whenever you were around and had eyes on him like he was a target.

So, all things considered, it's no surprise when Joel is reluctant to make a supply run with you.

You had begged Tommy to let you go out and finally start pulling your weight, carefully adding that Joel would be a great teacher for a first timer like yourself.

You stand near the truck, squeezing the straps of your backpack while watching Joel and Tommy whisper to themselves a couple feet away.

"You can't find anyone else?" Joel growls lowly, narrowing his eyes at his insufferable brother who he’d really like to strangle right now.

"Are you seriously scared of a twenty year old girl, Joel?" Tommy asked exasperatedly, throwing his arm out in disbelief. "It'll take two hours tops, what the hell are you so scared of?" Joel is exhaling through his nose, dragging a hand down his jaw in complete disgruntlement.

"You know what the hell I'm scared of Tommy—goddammit," He gets in his brother’s face before realizing you’re still watching them.

He takes a moment to back up and calm down, breathing out through his nose.

"I do not need this town thinkin' I am encouraging this girls...feelin's." He murmurs lowly.

Tommy rolls his eyes before shoving Joel's backpack into his chest.

"Just don't fuck her, Joel. How hard could it be?"

Joel watches as Tommy turns his back and walks away, leaving just you and him.

Joel had spent a lot of time making sure he was never in a situation alone with you—now he was about to be your unsupervised mentor.

He feels a groan try and crawl its way out his throat, but he pushes it down.

He starts walking to the truck, not even looking at you as he passes and yanks the driver side door open with more force than necessary.

"Let's make this quick." He grunts out, climbing inside.

You do the same, only with a little bit more enthusiasm. ***

The trip is a complete bust.

Joel barely paid you any attention, no matter how many flirty gestures you made at him.

You'd say something remotely suggestive and he'd either glare at you, or just flat out ignore you.

But you were relentless. Giving up on him wasn't in the cards for you, no matter how many judgmental looks he casted your way.

You guys had been driving back to town for around five minutes; Joel has kept his eyes firmly on the road in fear of you sparking a conversation with him.

But you do anyways.

You turn your body to face him in the bench seat, your eyes cascading down his breath-taking side profile.

You zoned in on the gray patches of his beard, and how his face had the remnants of a long, unforgiving life weaved into his wrinkles and scars.

You're momentarily rendered speechless by his looks before he side-eyes you.

"What?" He huffs out, not being able to handle your intense stare any longer.

"Why not?"

A beat.

"What?" He asks again, his brows furrowing together, an annoyed and confused expression painting his features.

"Why won't you fuck me?"

Joel physically winces at your language, scoffing in what looks to be disgust as he starts shaking his head.

"We're not starting this." He snaps firmly, a tone in his voice that you haven't heard before.

Completely disregarding his words, you start.

"Is it because I'm not pretty enough?" Joel groans out, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Is it because there's someone else?" He's close to snapping. "Is it because you can't get it up? I heard thats a problem with guys your age-"

Joel slams on the brakes, sending you lurching forward. He shoves the truck into park before turning to face you, a scary look on his face.

"I am not going to fuck you--Christ almighty," Joel raises his voice at you.

You're staring at him, wide eyes and lips parted in surprise. You weren't really expecting this.

"you're bustin' my fuckin' balls, Look kid," He starts up again, this time with a softer tone. "M'about 40 years too old for you-"

You cut him off with a murmur. "36, I did the math."

"Same damn thing," he snaps, shaking his head. "Point is—you don't needa be wastin' your time with me; there are plenty boys your age that will satisfy your...you."

You scoff in his face but try to disguise it by clearing your throat.

"I'm not asking you to marry me, Joel," You start, a sad smile spreading across your lips. "S'just sex." You say with a shrug, blush coating your cheeks because now your mind is imagining sex with him.

He stays silent and looks away from you, closing his eyes like he couldn’t believe this was happening.

That urges you to say more.

"I won't tell anyone," You're practically whispering, looking down at your fidgeting hands in your lap. "I'd let you do anything you wanted to me."

Joel's heart cinches in his chest at your words, mostly because he can tell you're being so genuine.

Why the hell did you like him so much? He just couldn’t understand it.

But he can't entertain this any longer because he knows if he did, he'd give into you.

"I don't wanna hear another goddamn word outta your mouth." Joel says in a strikingly even and calm tone, putting the truck into drive and continuing back.

He's eerily silent, and so is the rest of the trip because you're too dejected to speak.

Eventually, you both arrive home and you're fast to get out of the truck.

You slam the door and keep your head down as you walk away, snow crunching beneath your boots.

Joel takes his time, watching you storm off with tired eyes.

He feels bad for being so rough on you, but he figured it was the only way to get you to stop liking him.

Tommy walks up, a concerned look on his face as he looks back between you and Joel.

"Guessin' you didn't fuck her."

***

Nobody had seen you in days.

The pain of rejection had you in a mental place that you had never experienced before.

No one has ever denied you—ever.

The situation was 100x worse considering you actually liked Joel, and he wasn't just another toy to play with.

Joel figured his life would get easier with you not around, and it kinda did in some aspects.

But he couldn't stop the gnawing feeling of guilt slowly eating at him like a parasite.

He'd been cruel to you in the way he went about things, and he felt bad.

Had he really broken your heart? He didn't know you liked him that much.

He sits in his living room, contemplating how to go about this entirely fucked up situation.

He debates making amends with you, apologizing and rejecting you again but in a gentler way.

He deliberates on his plan of action while nursing a glass of whiskey before he's interrupted by three bangs on his front door, followed by a screeching: "JOEL"

He mutters a 'what the fuck' under his breath, walking to the door and picking his 9mil up on the way.

His eyes widen when he sees you-standing there in all your glory.

It's the middle of winter and snowing like hell, yet you're wearing shorts and a tank top with a beer bottle in your hand.

"Jesus, kid-what the fuck," Joel ushers you inside quickly, taking his big jacket off the coatrack and draping it over you.

He also tosses his gun to the side, obviously you were no threat.

"You tryin' to get frostbit? Christ," he's swearing and muttering profanities as he guides you over to the couch, now basically swaddling you in blankets.

You've never been inside his house before, only ever walked passed it a few times. It smells like him.

You, however, smell like alcohol and bad decisions.

Joel picked up on how drunk you were the minute you stumbled through the door. He takes the bottle from your hand and sets it aside somewhere, glaring at you like how a mad parent would.

"The hell are you doin' out in the snow like that? Fuckin' death wish or somethin'?"

His words are kinda fuzzy in your ears, you're so drunk that you barely even register them.

An unprompted giggle spills from your lips as you shake your head at him.

"It's not snowing silly," You chide, making him out to be an idiot when, in actuality, it's a damn blizzard outside.

He knows from that statement alone that you are way off your rocker tonight.

"How much have ya had to drink, kid?" Joel asks, raking a hand through his graying hair.

"Don't call me kid," You snap, a quick flash of anger in your expression. "M'not a kid."

Joel rolls his eyes so hard that he probably caused a tsunami on the other side of the world.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. What are you doin’ here?” He asks exasperatedly, dragging a hand down his jaw while looking at your trembling figure.

There’s a long pause before you answer. You just got distracted by his big brown eyes.

“Jus’ wanted to say hi.” You murmur, unable to tear your gaze away from his face.

“Say hi?” He reiterates, looking at you like you’ve actually lost your mind.

You probably have.

After a moment, Joel can’t help but chuckle in disbelief, letting his body lean back against the couch.

The absurdity of it all turned humorous to him.

Here you are, sitting in his living room, practically nude with only his coat and blankets protecting your modesty, having just trekked through the snow all for what? To say hey?

You’re still sitting there, motionless and trying to remember how to breathe because his laughing face has your heart lighting off fireworks.

“Fuckin’ hell—hi.” Is all he says, turning his head to the side to look at you as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You smile like a dope at him, so extremely happy to be there in his company.

But the alcohol in your system is fighting you, and you’re finding it hard to keep your eyes open.

“S’it cool if I say the nigh?” You slur, falling vertically on the couch, your head crashing onto Joel’s thigh.

You nuzzle your cheek against the fabric of his jeans and Joel is just about to gently push you off, but he stops himself.

You look so comfortable and so at peace that Joel can’t do anything except stare at you.

Your cheek is slightly smushed, your lips are parted, your eyes are shut and don’t plan on opening—it’s insane to him how at home you looked.

Like you belonged here, head rested on his lap.

Fuck.

He was fucked this time.

He doesn’t move you. Instead, he fixes the blankets on top of you so you’re fully covered, and sits there with you the entire night.

He’s really gone soft.

***

When morning comes, you’re first to wake up, accompanied by a splitting headache.

You don’t even notice how Joel’s hand had fallen onto your waist some time during the night because you’re too busy making a b-line for the bathroom.

You chuck your guts up into the toliet, clutching the porcelain and groaning out in pain.

Joel wakes up to the sound of your hurling, momentarily disoriented before he remembers last nights events.

He’s quick to come to your aid in the bathroom, wasting no time gathering your hair in his fist to get it out of your face.

"S'right, get it all out," He murmurs out encouragingly, seemingly unfazed by the disheveled sight of you.

You’re too sick to be embarrassed, that’ll come later surely.

He sits on the wall of the tub as he continues holding your hair back, yawning every now and then like this was just a regular Tuesday morning.

Eventually, by the mercy of God, you get it all out of your system and slump up against the wall.

“M’sorry,” You immediately apologize, figuring that is the only right move in this situation.

“Don’t be. Been through plenty'a that in my day.”

His words are uncharacteristically reassuring and you find yourself taken back by them.

You soon realize this is probably just the hazy morning Joel, the Joel where he isn't worried about anything except coffee and breakfast—like everything wrong in his life is put on the back burner for this short minute in time.

“I’ll get you some water and Advil, sit tight.” He grunts before standing up on his feet, knees popping as he walks out.

You watch as he leaves, wiping the corners of your mouth with the back of your hand.

Aside from the vomit part, you could get used to this.

You've never seen him so...domestic. His hair was all messy, his voice was raspy, he had that morning haze over his features that you felt so honored to witness.

You suddenly felt compelled to look at your own appearance, hopping to your feet and looking in the dirty mirror.

You resist the urge to audibly gasp at your reflection, opting for a disgusted look instead.

Your hair is a rats nest, your clothes are a mess, and your mascara has rubbed off in black smudge all over the skin around your eyes.

In a desperate attempt to look at least semi-presentable, you wash your face with water and comb through your hair with your fingers.

The idea that Joel had seen you looking like that was making your stomach churn again.

Before you can grovel about it any longer, he rounds the corner with a glass of water and little brown pills in his hand.

“Here,” He says softly, handing you the water and tilting the pills into your open palm. “Take these ‘n drink all that water and ya should get to feelin’ better.”

You do as he says, swallowing the Advil in one go before taking a big sip to wash it down.

His eyes drift down to your shoulder, where your tank top strap has fallen. No doubt from all that vigorous throwing up you were doing moments ago.

Without thinking, his fingers graze your forearm before bringing the strap back up to its correct position, clearing his throat in the process.

A beat of silence falls over the both of you.

You’re gobsmacked by the complete nonchalance of his touch, staring at him with your mouth slightly open in shock.

“What?” He asks defensively, his tone pointed.

You look between him and your shoulder strap, then slowly move to set your water down.

“Are you sure we can’t fuck?”

“Goddammit—” Joels cursing before you can even finish saying the last word in your sentence.

He turns away from you, probably the fastest you’ve seen anyone turn in their life, and walks towards his room with an accelerating pace.

He shakes his head in disbelief all the way down the hall, pivoting on his heel to duck into his bedroom.

You follow him, not really fazed by how he completely refused to answer your question, though you didn’t think he would anyway.

Before you can step foot into the threshold of his room, Joel walks out, causing you to back up.

He shoves a stack of clothes in your direction, looking down at you with a frustrated face. “Put these clothes on and go home.”

You look down, realizing he was letting you borrow a sweater and jeans of his so you didn’t die walking back to your house from the cold.

Your heart warms at this thoughtfulness.

Without wasting any time, you take the clothes from his hands, smiling happily. “Can I keep them?”

“Why the hell would you wanna keep my clothes?” He’s got that confused/angry look on his face as he asks, and you have to suppress a giggle at the sight of it.

You bring the pieces of fabric up to your nose and inhale, humming as you breathe out again. “They smell like you.”

“Christ,” Joel beings his hands up to rub at his eyes. “Fine, do whatever. Just hurry up and change, jesus,"

Ever the tease, you set down his clothes and begin to lift your tank top like you planned to change right in front of him.

Joel's hands shoot out to stop you, a 'don't try me,' look on his face.

"Put them on over your clothes," Joel says sternly, watching the way you sigh because you weren't fast enough in lifting your tank top off.

However, you sieze the opportunity in front of you.

Joel's hands are holding yours down, so you work to intertwine your fingers, invading his space by stepping forward.

"Or, you could take my clothes off," You purr, your chest now flush with his torso.

Joel exhales through his nose, his jaw clenching as he tried deciding how he was going to get out of this situation.

But then he paused.

Looking down at you now, so eager and wide eyed, made him wonder.

If he fucked you, and made you realize it wasn't what you were probably imagining in your head, maybe then you'd finally leave him alone.

He would just...pretend to be awful at sex.

(Even though it had been so long and he wasn't sure if he'd actually need to 'pretend' anymore.)

There's a long silence that drags out between the both of you.

Your stomach is doing flips because it's looking like he's finally going to agree.

His resolve cracks and Joel can't do anything but sigh in defeat.

Slowly, Joel pulls you back into his room, closing the door behind you both.

Time is moving in slow motion.

You can't believe it's finally happening.

He guides you back until the back of your knees hit his bed, prompting you to sit down on it.

"I'm only going to do this once," Joel's voice is uncharacteristically low and calm, and it has your core tightening.

You nod in acknowledgement, waiting to see what he's going to do next.

With care, he pushes your shoulder down so you're laying on your back. "Are you sure you want this?" He asks, brown eyes searching yours.

"Have I not made it obvious?" You quip, a giggle following shortly after.

Joel only shakes his head before his fingers latch around the fabric of your shorts, pulling them down and off your legs.

"S'pose you have." He murmurs, scratching the back of his neck.

You're vibrating with excitement and you repeat what you tried earlier, only this time succeeding with taking your top off.

Of course, you're not wearing a bra.

Joel realizes in that moment that he bit off way more than he could chew.

He hasn't seen breast that weren't on a soggy piece of paper in at least a few years, and yours--well, his cock stood no chance.

You hear him swallow, watching as he can't seem to stop staring at your chest.

Realizing that he might need a little encouragement to start speeding things along, you smile up at him and whisper, "touch me Joel".

Yeah, screw this. His plan of pretending to be bad was now entirely forgotten—he was going to do what he wanted, so help him god.

He huffs out a curse before sliding a hand up your torso, stopping once he's fully cupped one of your breasts in one hand. He kneads it like dough while using his other hand to disappear under your panties.

A choked moan erupts from your lips once you feel his fingers brush along your clit, rubbing around and spreading your slick around all too slowly.

"haven't even done anythin' yet and you're already fuckin' soaked..." He murmurs really to just himself, his eyes casting down to watch as he rips your underwear off impatiently.

"M'always like this whenever you're around," you mewl to spur him on, spreading your legs wider.

"Oh you are, huh?" Joel repeats back, the tiniest bit of cruelty in his tone that makes you shiver.

You nod, bucking your hips into his hand desperately.

"don't get why you like an old man like me, s'gross." His tone is flat but it's clear he's teasing by the way he curls his fingers inside of you. He's not really expecting a response, but you feel compelled.

You lurch forward, gasping at the feeling. "I really like you," You rush out breathlessly. "I'd do anything you wanted me to." You say earnestly as you stare into his eyes, loving what you're seeing.

Joel remembers when you told him that the first time, his heart cinching the same way it did then.

Joel is at war with himself. One side of him is screaming that this whole situation is fucked up and he is better off without you.

Another part of him thinks that this is the most he’s ever felt in a long time. And he doesn't want to lose it.

You can see the gears turning in his head. His fingers have slipped from you and you wince at the loss.

Slowly, you sit up. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, your nipples pressing into his shirt.

He's confused and momentarily panicked when your faces get so close together, his hands seeking purchase on your hips.

In an unexpected move, you rake your hands through the side of his hair, looking lovingly at his face.

"I just wanna be someone for you," You murmur, your face breaking a little as Joel's resolve also cracks. "Doesn't matter what. I'm very versatile." You mumble the last part to try and lighten the mood.

Joel just stares at you—something swimming behind his eyes that you can't quite place.

Eventually, he crashes his forehead against yours, sighing out.

"You're makin' this fuckin' impossible." He rasps before kissing you with a passion you've never felt before.

You feel victorious.

He's finally given in to you.

Eagerly, you kiss back, wrapping your legs around his torso and grinding your bare cunt against the bulge in his jeans.

"Then stop trying so hard to get rid of me," You sigh out, chasing his lips even as you're trying to speak.

He groans and you catch it in your mouth, the pressure on his clothed cock making him dizzy.

“Fuck,” He’s quick to unbuckle his belt, sliding it out of the loops and tossing it somewhere on the floor. “Lay back.” He demands and you immediately follow suit.

He's never been that...assertive with you before. It makes you tingle all over.

He looks starved as he peers down at you, specifically your cunt.

He literally can’t tear his eyes off your sex—he only looks up to your gaze when you let out an impatient whine.

He rips down his pants, letting his cock spring free and slap against his stomach.

Now you can’t tear your eyes away from his sex.

You’ve only dreamt it so many times, but now that it’s finally in front of you—it all just feels surreal.

It’s better than you imagined, perfect.

“I don’t have a—”

You know what he’s about to say so you cut him off immediately. “S’okay, like it raw. Closer to you that way.” You murmur.

Joel looks physically pained that he’s not inside you right now. For some reason, you just know all the right things to say.

“Closer to me?” He huffs out, hooking his arms around your thighs and pulling you down to the edge of the bed where he stood.

Now your cunt is flush with the base of his member and the sensation drives you both insane. “You’re fuckin’ insane.”

Joel rasps, but the way he says it reveals just how far he’s fallen. He knows you’re crazy, and yet here he is, balancing you out.

He glides his member back and forth against your folds, gathering up your wetness with a clenched jaw and furrowed brows.

He looks so concentrated—meanwhile you’re writhing with pleasure and impatience. Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for him.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he murmurs to himself, eyes tracing all over you.

You freeze.

Joel had complimented you for the first time, and it was genuine.

He notices you stiffen and takes a moment to pause.

Your entire body erupts with goosebumps, your heart beating at exceptionally fast speeds.

He's worried for a second that something is horribly wrong.

“What?” He asks, confused at what’s got you so wound up.

Your face is flushed red as you bashfully giggle. “You called me pretty.”

Ah fuck.

Joel finds you so charming it hurts.

After he remembers how to breathe again, he rolls his eyes and clears his throat.

“I have my cock to your cunt, of course I find you pretty.”

You smile and shrug. “Still. Nice to hear.” You’re all smiles until his tip prods at your entrance, causing a gasp to leave your throat.

He continues to apply pressure with his tip and it’s driving you crazy.

“Fuck Joel—are you trying to kill me?” You whine, hips wiggling to get him in.

He scoffs and shakes his head. “Relax, m’almost there.”

Slowly, he begins pushing his way inside. His mushroom head breaches you entirely and it feels like you can hear the angels singing.

He continues forward, the stretch being mainly around the middle of his thick cock.

But you’re taking it like a champ.

Joel braces himself with hands on both sides of your torso as he bottoms out, a groan crawling its way out of his throat.

The sensation is absolutely delicious.

A little bit of pain from the stretch, but so much pleasure from the fullness.

“Joel, ohmygod you feel so good inside me.” You moan, throwing your head back.

Your hips start moving on their own, but he immediately stops you with two large hands.

“D-Don’t move—fuck.” Joel grumbles out, his face pinched together in what looked like pain.

You’re confused for a moment, thinking maybe that he might just be really into cockwarming.

But then it hits you.

“Were you gonna come?” The tone in your voice makes it seem like you’d be elated if that was the case—like the most flattering thing in the world.

Joel looks pissed that you caught on so quick.

In truth, the moment he put his tip in, he was holding back his orgasm.

Can you blame him? He’s only fucked his hand for the last couple years.

“S’been a while.” Is all he can say, his chest heaving up and down in concentration. You know he’s embarrassed, but you can’t help but smile like a dope at him.

“If you come, please do it inside, please,” you beg, reaching out for his arms that caged you in.

Joel's rational mind feels like it just touched down in looney town after hearing your begging.

He feels crazy because he liked the thought of the idea you proposed. You even see him hesitate. But then he scoffs and shakes his head.

Joel drops down closer to your face, slowly starting to rock his hips into you. "Tryin' to baby trap me, girl?" He grunts in your ear, making you moan out.

Your walls are clenching down on him, and it’s making it that much harder to hold back. “No-no, promise, just wanna be full of you." You manage to blubber out...unconvincingly.

You probably didn't really want a baby with Joel, but your lust-driven brain was working on fumes and you just wanted to do what felt good.

Joel's grunting in your ear was not helping things. His fingers were gripping your hip so hard, you figured it would probably bruise tomorrow

Good. You wanted whatever he would give you.

"Christ--m'not gonna last much longer," Joel groans, picking his head up a little to meet your gaze. He wanted to kick himself for not being able to last, but when he saw your face, all those feelings disappeared.

You looked so--perfect. Soaking up the moment in case it was the last, god you hoped it wasn't the last time. Now that you've finally had a tase of him, you weren't sure you could live without it.

Your legs tighten around his waist, keeping him firmly in your cunt. Joel notices this and also your pleading eyes, a growl leaving his throat.

"Please, please, please, please," you beg, never breaking eye contact with him as his thrusts pick up speed.

He ruins your long string with pleas with a needy kiss, shoving his tongue down your throat like a starving man.

You accept it happily, moaning out into the kiss while Joel manhandles your hips to take his cock.

The feeling is damn near euphoric for both you and him. It gets even better when Joel's hand comes down to rub at your clit again.

Your back arches off the bed as you gasp and moan out, wrapping your arms back around his shoulders. "F-Fuck!" You moan into his ear, probably drooling on his shoulder in the process. "thankyouthankyouthankyou-" you sputter out in choked sobs. He was really good at working on your clit, you couldn't do anything else but thank him for it.

Joel feels a surge of something when he hears you. He's never had a woman thank him in bed before.

It's enough to push him over the edge. And apparently you too.

"I'm gonna come Joel, please don't stop," There are pools of tears in your eyes that Joel is just now noticing. He's about to reply to you, but he finds himself speechless when he feels your cunt start constricting and fluttering around him like a vice.

"Fuck!" He groans out loudly, his hips starting to falter in their rhythm. But then he picks up speed again, and in no time he's like a madman jackhammering into you.

You're a mess of screams and cries and moans underneath him, happily taking everything he was giving you.

When Joel feels himself about to come, he notices how your legs are still tightly wrapped around him, keeping him inside, and he manages to scoff out.

"Gotta let me go baby," You've never heard that pet name from him before, and it makes you crumble. His hands move to grab at your thighs, kneading the flesh there.

You whine out but reluctantly release the grip your legs had on him. Joel doesn't waste time before hugging both your legs on his chest, keeping them firmly placed while your feet squirmed by his ear.

"Atta girl," he murmurs before picking up speed again, his cock head pressing into your cervix.

It's all too much for you. Joel looks so amazing pounding into you from above, his concentrated face, his sweat, the way his salt and pepper hair is all disheveled, you're losing your mind.

Your core is on fire and you can't stop yourself.

In a staggering turn of events, you come first.

Your walls come down like bricks on his dick, you cry out, throwing your head back in complete bliss and ecstasy.

Seeing and feeling this, Joel is quick to follow in your steps. He rips himself from that warm hole of yours and pumps himself dry onto your stomach.

You watch it all with wide eyes, you wouldn't have missed Joel's orgasm face for the world!

Of course, his eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth was open as he was breathing heavily, and his eyebrows turned down like he was mad.

God he was so beautiful.

His thick ropes of cum shoot all over your stomach and even your breasts as he jerks himself off to completion.

When he finishes, he takes a moment to catch his breath, finally opening his eyes to see you scoop up his cum from your breast with your finger and shove it in your mouth.

Your tongue swirls around his seed and you swallow eagerly, humming out in satisfaction at the taste of him.

Joel's watching in complete fascination, though his expression looks a little angry. When does it not?

"taste so good," you mumble with your finger still in your mouth, looking up at him with your big eyes.

He moves before he can think about it--ripping your hand away from your lips and caging you in a slow but deep kiss.

He soon falls down beside you and soon rolls over onto his back, his chest rising and falling from the excursion.

You curl into his side, watching his side profile so intently. You had just fucked Joel Miller.

And it was everything you had dreamed of. Extreme happiness doesn't even begin to describe your feelings right now.

There's a long stretch of silence that drapes over the both of you. Eventually, Joel breaks it with something extremely off topic.

"Last night...you didn't just come here to say 'hi', did you?"

You're momentarily speechless, not expecting that question from him at all. But you can't stop a giggle from coming through your lips.

"Actually, I came to confront you." Your voice is soft as you begin speaking, thinking back to last night's ordeal.

Joel doesn't expect this answer, his head turns to look at you while you speak. His arm comes down to drape over your shoulder.

"I was really upset cus you rejected me n'all. I just couldn't accept the whole, 'age gap' excuse. I wanted to know if you just really didn't like me or not." You're murmuring, drawing soft lines with your finger on the skin of Joel's chest.

He huffs out a breath at the explanation, shaking his head. "Guess you got your answer, huh." He grumbles out, somewhat ashamed of himself that he couldn't hold back.

You smile and lean up to kiss his cheek. "I did," you chirp happily, admiring his face again. "You know you're gonna have to fuck me, like, everyday now, right?"

You're kidding. But you're also not at all.

Joel scoffs and sits up, moving to pick up both his and your shirts. "Fat chance. Barely had enough stamina for one round." He grunts out, finding the neck hole in your tank top and putting it over your head for you.

You don't bother to pull it down over your breasts so Joel does it for you.

"It's okay, we can build up your tolerance over time." You quip with a teasing smile, loving the way Joel turned to glare a you.

He couldn't believe the youth these days.

[blindedguilt]

DND Your Muse

Tagged by: @poppydedicant (Thanks for the tag! Picrews are my fave omg <3)

I Tag: Not the best answer but I'm too tired to tag genuinely, go nuts vjfsjhkjkl

[melonlthawne]

the mental illness is catching up to me lads

[vivid-dreamscapes]

~♡~Caught~♡~ Bakugou X reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tw: Swearing, suggestive themes Themes: Humor mainly Summery: Getting caught in the middle of being hot and heavy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well this was embarrassing. Just two seconds ago, you had been making hella love with your boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugou, at 2:56 AM. Things were going well, you were getting your brains fucked out, he was saying some not so SFW stuff to you, all that.

Then the ever so lovely Kirishima decided to burst in for gods knows what reason, and now you were stuck here, hiding under the covers of your boyfriend’s bed, naked, bound at the wrists with the black tank top he had been wearing, and gagged with the new ball gag he had been excited to try out.

Bakugou’s whole body tensed up in shock as the sound of the door banging open suddenly jolted him out of the state he was in, his eyes snapping to the door where Kirishima was standing.

He was so taken off guard by the sudden arrival that he could barely muster up a response to Kirishima.

“WHAT THE HELL SHITTY HAIR!?!!” The blonde yelled, trying desperately to prepare himself to act like nothing was out of the usual.

The fact that the two of you’s clothes were strewn on the floor didn’t help though. Hopefully Kirishima wouldn’t see them in the dark. And assume that Bakugou just slept shirtless.

Bakugou was practically holding his breath, hoping that Kirishima wouldn’t notice any of the clothes and just think nothing was odd about the room.

Unfortunately, Kirishima was not that thick.

“Hey man, are you alone in here?”

Your boyfriend let out an internal swear inside his mind as Kirishima asked that particular question, knowing that he could not say that he was alone in here without being obviously caught in a lie.

“Y-yeah, why?” Bakugou answered and then silently cursed himself at the slight shake in his voice.

Kirishima paused before looking up at him. “Nothing, I just-“

“Heyy, we bothering kcchan?”

Both you and your boyfriend went stiff. Oh no. For fucks sake. Denki Kaminari’s voice was heard as he poked his head into the room alongside Kirishima.

The spiky blonde heard the dumber blonde’s voice too, feeling his heart almost stop as he realized that not only was Kirishima there, but now Denki was too.

He wanted to strangle both of them for being so goddamn stubborn about coming to check on him at such an ungodly hour of the night.

“Yeah, why’s it so dark in here?” Denki pondered, looking around.

“Because I was trying to sleep, dipshit!”

The little electric boy raised an eyebrow before he recognized your ‘Yeah, I rolled my eyes at you, sue me’ shirt on the floor, plus your favorite bottoms.

He glanced over at Bakugou who was mentally swearing again, but still trying to act as innocent as possible.

“Hey Bakubro…?”

“What?”

You tended up and prayed your friend wouldn’t recognize the outfit as your own. But luck really wasn’t on your side today.

Denki glanced back at the scattered outfit in the floor again, trying to find any other excuse that wasn’t the one right in front of his eyes.

“Aren’t these Y/n’s clothes?”

Bakugou froze as Denki asked that question, feeling every cell in his body just scream at him to answer properly and not make it any more obvious. It didn’t help that they knew you two were dating either.

Your boyfriend’s mind was racing with a million things to say, but none of them were working. Everything he thought about saying failed before it even came out, his brain short circuiting as he tried to come up with an answer.

“Yeah…they are…” Kirishima said, speaking up for the first time with its that minute.

Denki looked up at the shirtless hothead, covering the rest of his indecent self but keeping it under the blankets. You had a nice view of his ass under there while you hid though. “Why are they on your floor?”

“Because…” Bakugou stopped a moment and cursed again before he finally said the dumbest thing he could think of. “…they were here earlier.”

Kirishima raised both his eyebrows at that, both him and Denki now looking at him with the same look of disbelief.

“Really?” Denki asked, clearly not buying the excuse, although he was still giving him the chance to dig himself out of the hole.

“…yeah.” Bakugou said, silently cursing himself again and praying they would just take the lie.

Unfortunately, Kirishima was far from stupid.

“Then why did they take their clothes off? And just leave them?” The shark boy asked, arms crossed.

Bakugou swore under his breath for the umpteenth time at that question, knowing there was no way to answer this that wouldn’t be extremely suspicious now. “…they took a shower…”

He said, the lie sounding just as terrible out loud as it did in his head. There was a moment of silence as Kirishima raised his eyebrow again. “Why would they come over in the middle of the day to take a shower and then ditch their clothes?”

Your boyfriend tensed up as he realized more and more that there was no hope in trying to lie about this situation.

“…Because.” He ever so genius-ly said.

Denki and Kirishima raised their eyebrows again, the answer sounding even more suspicious than before. They knew he was lying at this point, but it was so entertaining to watch him flounder around trying to cover up the truth.

After a moment, Denki broke the silence. “…and why are you shirtless?”

Bakugou wanted to strangle both of those dumbasses in the doorframe, silently cursing the fact that they had to pick this particular moment to come up here to bother him. “…Because I was hot.” He lied, knowing it was possibly the worst lie given these circumstances.

“It’s 66 degrees.”

“YOU TRY HAVING A QUIRK THAT GIVES YOU UNNATURALLY HOT BODY TEMPERATURES SHITTY HAIR!!”

Bakugou shouted again when Kirishima pointed out that it was, in fact, not hot enough to be warranting him to be shirtless. He was losing hope in trying to cover this up. He just couldn’t keep up the facade much longer.

“Okay, so you’re telling us that she came over, took a shower, left her clothes, and you’re in here shirtless, even though it’s not that hot out. You’re sure that’s right?” Denki asked with a raised eyebrow.

“….Yes.”

Bakugo’s eyes darted between Denki and Kirishima, a small voice in the back of his head begging them to just believe him so this would all be over, but a bigger part of him just knew they weren’t buying it one bit. They had him caught and they knew it.

After a moment, Denki spoke up. “Okay, so…prove it.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROVE IT?!”

Denki shrugged and gave a sly smirk.

“I don’t know, open the covers.”

“Hell no!!”

Kirshima decided to wedge in real quick before what got intense. “If you really-“

The red head was cut off as the familiar voice of your pink best friend was heard from the door over, saving you from this situation.

“Ejirou, are you coming back yet? I just found another toy we can use! This one vibrates~”

You all froze at Mina’s voice, coming from Kirishima’s dorm.

Knowing her, she had probably known you were going to be caught naked if this continued—by eavesdropping—and was helping you slightly.

But Oh how the tables have turned.

All three boys looked at the door as they heard Mina’s voice coming from it, their eyes wide as they realized that she was also up and possibly doing some frisky stuff in Kirishima’s room.

Neither one of them had expected her to say something so sus at that moment, and all three boys froze, their minds racing to try and figure out how to respond to this new development.

It ended up coming down to Denki and Bakugo turning to look at Kirishima with raised eyebrows.

Kirishima’s face was beet red as he turned to look at them both, his voice slightly shaky as he spoke. “I-It’s not what it looks-“

“Oh shut it shitty hair, and stop acting like you weren’t just trying to catch me when your doing the same thing.”

Denki nodded, arms crossed. “Yeah…hypocrite much?”

“Wait, you admit it!” Kirishima pointed to Bakugou as you giggled through the ball gag under the sheets. Your boyfriend gave them one warning look, a few sparks, and they were gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry there wasn’t much reader interaction! This one was just kinda suppose for be silly and make yall laugh. And like usual, it ain’t proofread

[dean-a-mean-tae]

Stray Kids as Yanderes

Request: "You have yandere on your event and masterlist so would you do skz as yanderes? I know you only do soft yandere and thats fine"

WARNINGS: Obsessive behavior, Murder, Mention of suicide, Toxic relationship, Drugging, Manipulation, Humiliation, Claustrophobic issues, basements, blood, tied to a ceiling (not the reader), mention of kidnapping, delusional mindset, mental abuse, self-harm, cussing, suggestive? talking about kissing, Stalking, I think that's it

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO READ! You DO NOT have my permission to repost my work anywhere.

A/N: I wanted to expand on their jealousy, but this is already long enough. I struggled with Jisung so much! >:[ I WROTE THIS AT 2 AM WITH NOTHING BUT DORITOS AND COUGH MEDICINE IN MY SYSTEM!

Master list

*.·:·BANG CHAN

Type: Manipulative Violence: 50-100% Possessive: 86% Jealousy: 65%

Punishments: Manipulation

The relationship looks normal at first glance. Chan takes care of you, but not so much that it feels like you're dependent on him. He lets you talk to people and leave the house. He waited until you were ready before moving you into his home, and he still waited.

You were cozy in the Venus flytrap, and its jaws were slowly closing.

He'd pick your friends off one by one. Chan starts with the acquaintances. They're not close to you, so it shouldn't hurt that much for them to leave you. He puts wedges between you and anyone trying to separate you. Your friend who had a crush on you is gone.

Chan is a dangerous yandere because of his awareness. He knows what he's doing is unhealthy and probably immoral, but he wants you. Chan needs you.

I don't think Chan would really have a punishment for you.

He'd just be doing the same thing he's been doing. He'll guilt trip you into feeling bad for lashing out. You think Chan is too possessive? You're right, but can you blame him? Anyone who looks at you would want to eat you like a snack and take you home with them for leftovers. He's just being cautious.

The jaws are shut, but something is stopping you from panicking.

*.·:·LEE MINHO

Type: Possessive Controlling Violence: 56-97% Possessive: 100% Jealousy: 100%

Punishments: Isolation and Drugging Humiliation

Minho is yours out of courtesy. You are Minho's because he wants you. There is a difference. As soon as you learn it, everything will be easier for Minho for you.

As seen in this post, Minho likes to play with you. It doesn't matter if you don't want to play, he wants to play, and you will. If he can see the exhaustion in your eyes, then Minho will let you rest. Hope that he can see it. Hope, pray, do whatever.

The more "tired" you act, the less likely Minho is to give you a break. In a way, he wants you to break. How else will Minho know what not to do?

You're moving sluggish? Then we're moving around. You're about to fall asleep? Have this melatonin gummy that's actually an energy booster. Minho wants you to break so he can fix you.

If you start lashing out, Minho will make you more compliant. He'll slip it into your drink or your food. Depending on how exhausted you are, will depict how much he gives you. Minho doesn't want to kill you. He'd not let anyone else have you, not even death.

If you go, Minho goes. You are his, and you can't leave.

When you're delirious, he locks you in a room. Not your bedroom, of course. Minho wants that room to be a safe space for you. He'll lock you in the hallway closet if you're claustrophobic. Or he'll stick you in the basement with the lights off. Of course, you're in a concealed room, so nothing can get you, but you can't see that.

I'm a firm believer that Minho would humiliate you as punishment. He'll finally take you out of the house. He'll pick your outfit himself, and when you come downstairs and question his outfit, he waves you off. "I want the attention to be on you."

And it will be. What were you thinking about wearing colors to an all-black event? Why are you off the theme?

*.·:·SEO CHANGBIN

Type: Protective Violence: 75-95% (Never to you) Possessive: 100% Jealousy: 12%

Punishments: Isolation

Sure, your happiness is important, but your safety is Changbin's top priority. You need to be healthy and protected. If this means killing someone disturbing your peace, then that's okay. If Changbin is causing you distress, he'll isolate the both of you for a break. Then it's back to being stuck together.

If you let him, Changbin will take care of you. He'll feed you, he'll bathe you, and he'll dress you. He will do everything for you until you tell him to stop, and even then, Changbin will push those limits.

Changbin's possessiveness is laced in his need to keep you safe. He would love for you to live your life. But why can't you live your life in the safety of his arms?

You think he's harming you? Well, imagine everyone else. What if he wasn't there? They're worse than him. They have no regard for your being, and Changbin knows this.

He's certain of it.

Your punishment is Changbin's dream. He'll lock you up in a room where you can't be hurt. Where you're safe. Where else is better for you?

Changbin who hides the number of lives he's taking to "keep you safe." He's certain your mind won't be able to handle it. You can barely look at the news about their deaths. So imagine finding out they're tied to you?

*.·:·HWANG HYUNJIN

Type: Delusional Violence: 5% (Unintentional) Possessive: 98% Jealousy: 79-100%

Punishments: Isolation

You need him, and Hyunjin needs you. It's a fact, and you can't go against a fact. Well, you can, but you would be wrong. You and Hyunjin were meant to be. You were together in past lives. You will be together in future lives. In all timelines, you are together.

But Hyunjin is in this timeline, in the present, and he wants you now.

Hyunjin doesn't just love you. Hyunjin knows he is in love with you. He needs you like his lungs need air, how his heart needs blood. How the trees need our breath. But you don't want him? No, you're just confused.

And if not? Hyunjin will wait for the next life.

But in this life? Hyunjin doesn't mind ending it early. His body will be in the ground, his soul in the stars, and his breath in the sky. You have no choice but to be with him.

When you walk, your feet touch the ground Hyunjin's body is in. When you breathe, you inhale his air. When you cherish the stars in the sky, they sparkle and shine for you. They are his soul and past lives shining on you.

Hyunjin would never hurt you on purpose. He has no issues with locking you up if it means keeping you in check and him from lashing out at you.

"I will never hurt you. People don't harm who they love," Hyunjin tells you. He tells you this as he locks you in a room with a see-through door. Ironic coming from him, but at least you don't have to worry about him hurting you.

Hyunjin has no issues with giving you time. Time with him, but still time to realize that you are meant to be.

Hyunjin who is overjoyed when you finally return his feelings. Who is overjoyed when the Stockholm syndrome hits.

*.·:·HAN JISUNG

(I had to let him marinate cause this was pissing me off ;-;)

Type: Quiet One Violence: 76-100% Possessive: Jealousy:

Punishments: Murder (not you)

Jisung is the type with earbuds on and scrolling on his phone to make the act believable. He's not listening to anything, but no one knows that. Jisung is eavesdropping on your conversation.

Jisung watches from the shadows. He leans against walls, tucks himself into corners, and hides in plain sight. Jisung needs to know everything about you.

Jisung takes your lost pencils, favorite candy wrapper, and anything you thought you "lost." Jisung who puts your things on the shrine in his basement.

Jisung finds everything about your family and friends. He finds out their habits and their tales. What makes them tick? How can he get them to put in a good word for him? Jisung, who fakes a smile for your love.

Jisung trains himself to be around you. He sneaks into your room and stands as close to you as he can without becoming a mess. He walks a little ways away from you and shortens the distance as he progresses. Jisung who hides his obsession out of fear of losing you.

Jisung who wouldn't hurt a fly, repeatedly stabs the person stealing you. His heart is steady, his face his blank, and his body doesn't tremble. Jisung who kills those who harm you, even those you don't know.

*.·:·LEE FELIX

Type: Clingy Violence: 0% Possessive: 79-100% Jealousy: I don't know

Punishments: Manipulation

This relationship starts normal, but the longer you stay with Felix, the more his obsession progresses. It's a little hard for him to breathe without you, like running for miles with asthma and no inhaler.

Felix would never hurt anyone. You don't know that, though. Felix doesn't like death, and Felix doesn't want to hurt you in any way. Not truly, so Felix gives threats. Behave, or he'll kill *blank*. Stop acting out, or he'll take *blank* out.

If you ever call his bluff, he'll get fake blood and a dead body. Felix will stage the act. You come home, and it's peaceful until you hear noise from the basement. What's that red stuff on the counter?

When you get downstairs, there's blood everywhere, and your best friend hangs by their wrists from their ceiling. When you try to run, Felix, covered in blood, is in the doorway. He knocks you out, and you wake up in your bed.

Felix is scared out of his sleep by your panicked breaths. When you tell him of your "nightmare," his eyes will dull, and he'll look near lifeless. Your phone rings before you can question him, and it's your best friend. As you're talking to them, you glance at Felix, but he's back to normal.

Felix who kisses your cheek and wishes you a good morning before taking a shower. While he's in the bathroom, you check the kitchen and the basement, but everything is normal. When you get back upstairs, Felix is plaiting the table with your favorite breakfast food.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Felix's face is concerned, but his tone is knowing.

*.·:·KIM SEUNGMIN

Type: Laidback Violence: 26% Possessive: Discreetly at 75% Jealousy: I'm conflicted

Punishment: Taking things from you

Seungmin doesn't want you stressing at all. If you have a problem, he'll fix it. Kidnapping you is too much work, so you won't have to worry about that. Seungmin will let you see your friends and family, and let you go out without him.

He knows you would never leave him.

As an idol, Seungmin can get people to watch you when he's not with you. As a person with "normal" status, he finds a way to convince your friends that you have a stalker and he just wants updates on your safety.

They'll send discreet pictures of you so you aren't panicking. They're trying to keep you safe. What if your stalker is watching you now? Seungmin wouldn't lie about your safety. He loves you, and they know it.

You're starting to sneak around? He'll find out why you're sneaking. If it isn't a surprise for him then you have no business creeping around. He should know everything. You should willingly tell Seungmin everything, or at least make it easy for him to find out himself.

Seungmin's punishments start small. It starts with your passions. You like art? Your pencils are snapped, and your paints have been left with the caps off. You make music? Your instruments are locked away or smashed to pieces. Seungmin won't break something of sentimental value. Your studio is locked with everything inside it.

Maybe you like books? If he has to, Seungmin will go through your favorite book and fold the corners. He'll crease the spines of your books and lock them away so that when you get them back, they're messed up.

You read online? You have a Kindle or an app on your phone? That's fine. Your library is cleared out, and he'll start a new book just to make sure there isn't a "Start where you left off" option.

Seungmin isn't evil. He'll make a list of all the books in your library, online or on a shelf, and keep perfect copies. He'll buy you new paints or get you new instruments.

Seungmin who will send a picture of you with your family if you run away. "I hope nothing bad happens to them while you're gone."

*.·:·YANG JEONGIN

Type: Obsessive Violence: Depends Possessive: 50-95% Jealousy: 76%

Punishment: Isolation, self-harm,

You're all he can think about. Jeongin depends on you. He can't eat, his sleep schedule is nonexistent, and he hasn't been outside unless you bring him.

Tell him to give you space, and Jeongin will hand it to you. He'll be fucking miserable, but he'll give you all the space and time you need. When you finally come back to him, kiss him long and slow or fast and intense.

Jeongin doesn't care. He wants you to be stuck to him like glue until you get sick of him and need a break.

Jeongin is fragile. His world revolves around you. You are the sun that brightens his day and the moon that guides him in the night. Lashing out at him about anything is a direct blow to his heart and soul.

You yelling at Jeongin. = You hate Jeongin.

He can't live while you hate him. He lives to please you. If you hate him, then Jeongin has failed you. Failing you means he failed himself, and life is too good for failure as bad as this.

Jeongin who tells you with a blank face but love-filled eyes that he would die for your love. Jeongin who will proudly show you each scar as punishment for making you "hate" him.

©️DEANAMEANTAE2024

[nrdmssgs]

Hello id like to humbly request a scenario with König where y/n previously went MIA, and is assumed dead. König is sent on a hostage rescue mission and when he gets there finds out not only is she alive, but she’s one of the hostages he’s there to rescue 🩷 i ADORE your writing!

Masterlist

Angst, hurt/comfort

Pairing: König x afab reader

TW: Mention of alcohol, several mentions of grief and depression, mentions of injuries, mention of human trafficking, swearing.

Authors note: I've tried to keep all the disturbing stuff very mild, but I can't help but see, as the readers` alleged death would absolutely crush König. Sorry for taking so long. I love this request so much, I can't stop thanking you, dear anon. Love you! This is actually kinda songfic, so if anybody needs music for this one: here you are.

Scarlet shell

“König, listen to me! Please! There is no body! There is nothing, we could possibly miss here!” His squad mate is trying to catch up with König, but it's impossible: he moves forward, maneuvering, between cargo transports at incredible speed.

How many times did he search for you past days? More precisely, how many dozens of times? 

He searched every centimeter of the perimeter where you worked, checked literally everywhere.

He did not take breaks for food or sleep. His team gradually lost strength, but he did not give up: he continued to circle around the place where the explosion thundered on that fateful night.

Koenig could not bring himself to stop and admit the obvious: if you were at the epicenter at the time of the explosion, only a damp shadow on the ground and a couple of scraps of clothing could remain from your body.

You don't need to talk if you don't feel like it, my love. Please never feel sorry for staying silent around me. Never beat up yourself. We all are born different, we walk different paths: your journey has made you waste most of the words we could have shared very early. It sometimes happens so, I know. The truth is that you don't have to put into words what you feel when you are next to me: I see it all in your eyes. You have reached such perfection in these silent speeches that I am ready to sit and listen to you endlessly. Even if "listening" means just looking into your eyes.

At first, he can't make himself come into your room. He comes to the door, holds out his hand and, after standing there for a while, turns around.

He needs to collect your belongings, make room for a new resident. But König can't gather enough strength.

When he finally forces himself into your room, a deafening silence engulfs him: your voice no longer here, your laughter, even your breathing is no longer heard.

König starts to collect your things, putting them carefully in a cardboard box: clothes, equipment, books, small utensils. All this absorbed your smell, your warmth. Every single item seems to burn his fingers.

He doesn't know how long it takes before he gives up: it hurts so much, he feels the pain on a physical level. 

Your shirt falls on the edge of the box. He brushes his fingers against your blanket and pillow. König kneels, then curls up right on the floor, ignoring the dust.

“Meine… meine…*” He can't even say your name - it gets stuck right in his throat, choking him. He never had enough words, when you were around, and he hates himself for that. But now, he loses even your name.

Sometimes I just think about words. Yesterday I looked at you and thought of the beautiful word you taught me: “die Hingabe” or "devotion". What is it in essence? Persistence and immutability in ones feelings, right? I was bored, so I googled this word. The search engine told me that it has approximately 195 million pages in its database that mention this word. Things were better with the word "honor" - almost 2 billion pages. With "love" - 11 billion pages. So love is 56 times more popular than devotion... Although it is clear that only a deeply devoted person can truly love, right?

Sometimes he hates it: his devotion to you does not weaken with time. A few years pass, and he learns to live in constant pain. Learns to wake up every morning, knowing well, he won't see your face. Grows accustomed to all-consuming silence and cold around him.

But what drives him to the limit is a constant urge to finish yet another mission, just to come back to the base, bury his face in your shirt and disappear completely in a slumber without thoughts.

Nothing helps: alcohol tastes like water, training doesn't leave him breathless and too weak to even think of you, no matter how hard he tries.

At some point, he even finds himself talking to another woman. She even takes his number, and sometimes they exchange warm and kind messages. He answers her automatically. 

Returning from their third meeting (he cant even call it a date), he realizes with horror that he does not remember her face.

There are no faces left in his life, except for one - that which he can neither see nor touch anymore. Your face.

My love, I see the scars, your traumas left on your body and in your mind. I know, it hurts. Every time, I ask you about them - I mean no further harm. You don't have to tell unless you are not ready. But I want you to see, that all those things didn't break you: you have not become the monster, you are scared of. There is still so much love, so much light in your hands. I want you to know, that the only reason, I'm asking you about your past traumas is that I want to fight them for you, to help you to heal. I'll fight for that love and light, you bear. Not to get them from you, never. But only for you to feel it all inside your heart.

König doesn't notice anything different. He just needed a new veil and didn't have any old black tshirts on hands.

So first he puts on a dark scarlet veil. It is still convenient. Then his old gloves are torn and he orders new ones... To match the color of the top.

It's just some gear, it doesn't affect anything. But rumors are spreading around the base.

"He's off the chain." 

"Did you see what he did to the hostiles on the last mission?" 

"That animal is unleashed." 

"We no longer have König - there is only the bloody beast under that veil" 

"I'm terrified by those red clothes whenever they flash somewhere on the battlefield. Fucking omen."

König ignores the whispers. He doesn't care. Is he more productive now? Well, maybe it's for better.

I keep writing you these silly letters, but I will never send them. I don't want to embarrass you with my chatter. I'll stack them in my drawer:  letter after letter, confession after confession. I told you the most important words a long time ago, but all this ... I don't want to think about the circumstances under which you could find these letters and read them. But if something does happen, remember: I am yours, from head to toe, completely yours. Even if I'm not next to you now - my body, my mind and my heart - yours. Love you.

His commanders tend not to send him on missions where he would have to interact with civilians. His approach to combat really becomes so brutal that bystanders and hostages run the risk of getting too severe moral trauma.

But when it comes to cleaning up an entire village, where people from all over the world are brought for human trafficking, they simply have no choice. They need the best of the best soldiers, and König tops the list.

And he justifies the title of the best: he sweeps through the village like a tornado, cleaning one room after another.

König is somehow merciful enough to rip the padlocks off the doors where the hostages were being held, make sure there are only civilians in the room, and move on to the next door and the next building.

He unleashes a wave of fury on his enemies, alternating quick kills with slow and painful ones. None of his team dares to speak to him.

When they report to him that the last building is cleared, and they can move back, he turns around with a predatory look.

The building where he stopped is immersed in silence. One of his people says something, but König only raises his finger to his lips and gestures that he is going to check the second floor.

He doesn't hear anything suspicious, doesn't see anything... But some inhuman instinct tells him that he's not alone here.

König tries to step quietly, but the old withered boards crackle treacherously under his feet.

He walks up to the back room on the second floor and pushes the door open. He remembers very well how he himself knocked out the lock some 15 minutes ago, but there was no one in the room ...

This time he comes in and takes a closer look. His eyes linger on the pile of dusty rags, carpets and gutted cushions on the floor.

It appears suspicious. He slowly approaches, pulls out a knife, and throws back several pillows at once.

What he sees makes him freeze in horror. Your face... He saw your face - emaciated, covered with cuts and bruises of all colors. You covered your mouth in horror with your hand, the faded skin tight around every bone, every joint. It seemed that even your eyes had lost almost all color: two dark gray abysses stared back at Koenig in fear of death.

You looked more like your own ghost, but that didn't matter. He very carefully lowered the knife to the ground.

"It's me." König unbuttoned his helmet and removed it and his veil. "It's me..."

You didn't answer. Only large tears glistened in the corners of your eyes.

“Meine Liebe*, it`s me.” He kept whispering, hoping to calm you down, while removing layer after layer of rags and pillows, covering your body.

He throws away tactical gloves and carefully inspects you to understand, if youre injured. His body trembles, his voice fails him and König proceeds to the only way, he can convince you, that you are safe at last: he takes you in his hands, carefully cradles your fragile body and presses kisses against tear stains on your cheeks. 

When his team finds him slowly rocking you in his hands, they step back, giving you two some privacy.

But they notice the bloody-red veil and gloves, laying on the floor as a cracked, broken and finally not needed shell.

*Meine - my *Meine Liebe - my love

[srbachchan]

DAY 5984

Jalsa, Mumbai July 6/July 7, 2024 Sat/Sun 1:56 am

🪔🙏🏻 .. apologies for missing the birthday of Ef Sweta Prasad on July 05 .. and another birthday was missed .. birthday of Ef Irina Semechkina from Russia .. also on July 05 .. apologies and our wishes and love from the Ef Family always sincere .. 🙏🏻❤️🚩

For July 07 .. our wishes to Ef Saurabh Bhakri from New Delhi .. have a splendid birthday .. 🙏🏻❤️🚩

the biggest curse at this age level of living is immobility .. sit for long for a Film on Tv .. a Euro a WCT20 and .. done .. the body refuses to cooperate .. the limbs set up there own discourse and slumber moments and as do the rest ..

So .. up and move every 20 minutes or 15 .. shake the system , walk about for that water faucet .. clean up the floor .. dust the music electronics and switch off the unwanted lights .. burn an incense .. fan it away in some rapidity .. venture not for the meal conglomerate .. may it be where be the sitting .. naaa .. that is extra labour for the kitchen .. best to walk there and assist in easing the service gap .. drive the vehicle to the work place .. set up those minor issues in the vehicle that function not in unison with what we desire or have wished for .. the lubrication methodology that bhas taken care of the many -WD40 .. miraculous .. you actually fixed a high end car issue and not succumbed to the often done of sending to the formal garage for its repair and checking .. but yooohoo .. it worked, this wd40 .. and all is well that drives well ..

Electronics need a personal attention .. weather beaten they wither and demand attention .. keep them cool , keep them occupied , keep them happy for you to be happy .. talk to them - they actually listen !

Water the planters .. out in the sun for them to get their VitD .. check the fish tank and not be alarmed at the condition of the fishes .. they swim they eat what we pour in and show happiness .. errrm .. pets yes .. they abound about and their loss is personal .. but the fresh and born recent arrive with their cuteness and the life and attitude of all ,changes ..

And then you sit for the game of the Quarters and the one you want and wish to go through, withers away .. have the means for victory but in mistake they are barricaded .. and the emotion of their millions ghets depressing to watch .. so switch it off .. get down to writing the Blogomaester .. and connect even though it be 2:23 am of the next .. er July 7 ..

wishing the birthdays of those that are on birthday times .. birthdays , yes .. many though want all other events on their lives to be given a landing here .. NO .. birthdays are enough ..

जिनका स्नेह और आदर मिलता है, उन्हें मेरा प्रणाम और आभार ; कुछ ज़्यादा ही बोल देते हैं लोग, और वो विश्वास नहीं होता ; कैसे लोग हैं जो अपने शब्दों में अपना आचरण तो करते ही हैं, परंतु वो उनके लिया होना चाहिए ; मैं तो नाचीज़ हूँ , मेरी गिनती उनमें ना हो तो संतुष्ट हूँ मैं ।

अब बस निद्रा ने घेर लिया, और उसके हल्के फुलके संकेत, मंद मंद आकारों में, इन चश्मा धारी नेत्रों में समा गये है ।।।

तो चलते हैं, भईया , सूर्या उदय होने से पहले कुछ आँख मिच��ली हो जाये तो बेहतर

शुभ रात्रि 😴💤

अमिताभ बच्चन Amitabh Bachchan

[screwzara]

The girls decide to braid each others hair

Zara, as she concentrates: Almost...

Flamy, snickering: I'm gonna make you look absolutely ✨ fabulous ✨

Tsutsuji, happily: Hehe~ Oh! And maybe we can have a pillow fight afterwards :)

Tsutsuji: You look so good Flamy :D

Flamy, giggling: Thanks T! And for someone who says they don't know how to braid, this looks and feels pretty good

Zara: Why thank you, I appreciate it. And you look really good too, Tsutsuji

Tsutsuji: Awww, thank you. My hair was done by best~

Flamy: See, told ya I'd make you look ✨ fabulous ✨

--------|All three giggle with glee|-------

OCs used:

Tsutsuji(belongs to @tsutsujinothere)

Flamy(belongs to @flamy-t)

Zara(belongs to yours truly~)

Sleepover time

People included: @flamy-t and @screwzara

i was inspired by screwzara’s scenarios

[magpiesandcrows]

Hi to anyone who is like seeing this blog and stuff. I haven’t posted in so long this due to major exams and stuff happening this year so I genuinely haven’t had the energy and time to write for stuff. My love körangi and KorTac is still very strong!

Anyways here is my headcanons for konig:

• Konig in canon got bullied. I genuinely don’t think it was about his height but rather weight. He would definitely had a loving mother who genuinely didn’t believe she was over feeding her son. So when a chubby child went to school he was picked on. He often spend his break times with the teachers. :(

• Soon as konig hit his teenage years, he started to work out and his growth spurt hit him like crazy. He was taller than most of his teachers and started to lose his weight. However konig still believed he was the chubby kid deep down.

• konig is Ginger. Sorry for all the people who think he is blonde. He definitely a brownish ginger. He was also bullied for that but he didn’t really let that one bother him since he couldn’t control that and his mum was highly against him dying his hair.

• konig is smart. He is good at history and sciences due to him paying attention a lot during these lessons. He didn’t really have friends to distract him so it would make sense for him get the top grades??

• He is normally a metal head but he has a few random songs. This is due to him developing relationships with his teammates. Horangi and the others could show him songs that they grew up with and he soon finds himself humming it while getting his washing at 1 am.

• He still takes liquid medicine. He can take tablets for example his radiation blockers but when he is sick. He would rather take strawberry Calpol and suffer with his fever.

• He can not stand the sound peoples teeth clanging against silverware. He didn’t notice it until Roza pointed out that Fender did it a lot and it’s all he can think about.

• A massive mother’s boy. Anytime he is down to visit her he will do anything for her. Needs a lightbulb changed? He is already done. He just wants his mum to be comfortable. He often sends most of his pay check to her so she doesn’t have to work.

SORRY IF ANYTHING DOESNT MAKE SENSE ITS 2:56 _(:3 」∠)_

[wangxianficfinder]

Fics Still Missing part 5

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These fics are still missing suggestions!

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1. Hello~ For the next fic finder I’m looking for this wangxian modern au fic. Established relationship and there’s also background xuanli. I don’t remember exactly how but a-yuan dies and the fic deals with what happens after (a-yuan is a toddler in the fic). Wwx takes it very badly but they slowly start to heal. I would be really really glad if you could find it for me! Thank you and have a nice day ♡ @/vntaebun #6 of post

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2. Looking for a fic where Wangxian starts dating because LWJ sent an anonymous ask to a Tumblr blog, which WWX saw. I think the blog was the xxx-culture-is type blog? #11 of post

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3. Hello! I was wondering if any of you know a fic where during the Cloud Recesses Arc, WWX was working on some arrays? And I think QHJ has been the one to help WWX with them since he himself specialised in arrays but I don’t remember if it might have been a time travel fix-it or not, sorry that I don’t have much details :( in the event of not knowing which fic this is, do you happen to know any fics where QHJ emerges from seclusion to be more proactive in the story without him being portrayed negatively? Thank you for all your help, have a good day, mods! #16 of post

FOUND? the time traveling letter series by MichelleFeather (G, 26k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ & WWX, LWJ & QHJ, Time Travel Fix-It, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Sad LWJ, Genius WWX, QHJ Lives, Parents WangXian, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, First Meetings, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Wangxian say 'fuck it' and leave the cultivation world, Requited Love, Not LXC Friendly, Not LQR Friendly, kind of, Good Father QHJ, Angry LWJ, Married WangXian, Established WangXian, LWJ & WWX Are LSZ's Parents, QHJ Lives, Good Father QHJ, WangXian Wedding, Sunshot Campaign, Abusive Jiang Family, Jiang Family Dynamics, Not JFM & YZY Friendly, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei Sect, Kinda) in it QHJ emerges from seclusion to be more proactive and in the second story he uses arrays

FOUND? The Tamed by Escheria (T, 459k, WangXian, LWJ/XZ, WYB/WWX, YiZhan, WIP, YLLZ WWX, The Untamed (TV) References, Overpowered WWX,XZ is WWX, Canon Divergence, Transmigration, Isekai, Demonic Cultivation, Genius WWX, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluff, Soulmates) the search for QHJ and him being a master of the CR Arrays, i am 99% sure, its The Tamed, the huge story that is at 460,000 words and ongoing its this story, from chapter 56 ff on, he appears at the end, WWX and QHJ, they both bond over the arrays, that they created to protect CR.

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4. hello! for the next fic finder, can you guys help me find this fic where wwx is in lan sect after sunshot with lan qiren researching about something (i forgot if lqr knew about his core, i think they’re’re searching scrolls abt cores, idk) then there’s a specific scene where they accused wwx on putting the hundred holes curse, then i think someone demanded that wwx should open his robes. lan qiren defended him that wwx is with him that past few days and that he’s not the one who put the curse. #17 of post

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5. Modern au too I think? I only remember Lwj saw wwx burying a dead body (i think it was wen chao) and assist him on it. #7B of post

NOT FOUND! release me from the present by merlinnn

FOUND? 🔒 The inherent romanticism of hiding a body together by Aki_no_hikari (T, 4k, WangXian, First Meetings, Love at First Sight, Modern, Corpse Desecration, Corpse Disposal, Pigs, dark Wangxian)

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6. Hello! Good day! I hope you can help me find this fic. I don’t know if it is a time-travel fic or not. All I can remember is that Madam Yu got pregnant and the sect leader, jiang yanli, jiang cheng, and wwx were happy. But eventually they learned that madam yu cheated (i forgot if its a wen or not) so the baby is actually not sect leader jiang’s child. I think they learned this after the masscre of lotus pier when madam yu ranaway. #19 of post

FOUND? 💖 A Chance by CorkaHadesa (M, 86k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Sunshot Campaign, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Canon Divergence, Established WangXian, Married WangXian, Secret Marriage, OOC, Second Chances, YLLZ WWX, Homophobic Language, but only from YZY so it's not that important because she's a bad person, i don't agree with her words, Minor Character Death, Happy Ending, Mpreg, Not Everyone Dies AU, the dead ones are the bad ones)

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7. Hi!! There is this fic I want to reread, it’s post canon 5+1 ish (???) fic but I remember only one scene, which is in some female lan disciple’s pov where she joined wangxian with other lan disciples on a nighthunt (and she was very happy to join cuz nighthunt with wangxian = good learning experience), it goes well but wwx gets some scraps on his hands (I think) and when it was all done and they were going to rest she sees how lwj kisses wwx’s fingers, wwx swoons, the female lan disciples gets flustered over how sweetly in love wx are and wishes she would get a partner that would care for her the same way (or just wishes to find a love like that idk) #4 of post

FOUND? only envy the mandarin ducks by glitteringmoonlight (T, 4k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, POV Outsider, one-sided attraction from ocs, but no wangxian/others, mentions of period-typical homophobia, Fluff)

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8. Hello! For fic finder, can you help me find a fic where WWX time travel to the past before massacare of lotus pier. It’s a short fic that i only remember the part that close to ending. After the war, the jiang fight other sect to let WWX live in LP. He is depressed and only start smiling when a-yuan who just a newborn crying non stop and WWX volunter himself to try calm down a-Yuan. Since then he start healing. I think it has 4 chapters and YZY dan JFM lived (i'am not sure about this). Thank you!!! @/idontknowwhattowriteforusername #7 of post

FOUND? 🔒 Rise from the Ashes by YumichanHamano (T, 6k, WangXian,Time Travel, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better) it's only got 3 chapters but the first chapter ending sounds like what op described

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9. Hi hello, can you please help me find a wangxian fanfic wherein lan zhan was forced be remarried to a girl? (I’m not sure) after their marriage lan zhan rarely comes back to gusu because of that his relationship with his new wife is cold he don’t acknowledge her and he doesn’t talk to her, then wei ying comebacks lan zhan knows that this is his wei ying because he played wang xian, lan zhan brings back wei ying to gusu and wei ying finds out that he is married and was devastated #14 of post

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10. Hello, I can’t find a fic that is a retelling of svsss with mdzs characters that I’ve read last year. As far as I remember the fic was from wwx’s pov, and there were a lot of interactions with ‘the system’. The 'novel’ is not the same one from svsss, but is mdzs itself; and wwx has to try to not die as the yllz(?) I think. @freetospreadwywings #15 of post

FOUND? Achievement Unlocked 🔓 by UseMyMuse (E, 85k, WangXian, A/B/O, Transmigration, Crack, Sassy System, Canonical Character Death, Reincarnation/Transmigration, Bamf WWX, From twitter to AO3, mild to major violence briefly mentioned, Mild/brief mentions of torture, Kidnapping, Accidental Child Acquisition)

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11. I remember this fic where Yu Ziyuan left Jiang Fengmian and took Wei Wuxian with her, and I think it was Madam Yu/Madam Jin and JFM/ two others I think?? I could be remembering the pairings wrong, anyway I was hoping to find it again and maybe even other fics where Yu Ziyuan leaves and takes Wei Wuxian with her if there are any 😺 #20 of post

FOUND? @/ireallydontknow made a new post by sadlybeans (M, 50k, WangXian, JC/NHS, LXC/NMJ, LQR/WRH/JFM, WQ/MM, YZY/Madam Jin/Madam Lan, SL/XXC, MXY/XY, JYL/OFC(s), JZX/SS, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Modern Cultivation, Social Media, NHS is an influencer now (or trying to be), NMJ wants to trade brothers with LXC, Mutual Pining, Light Angst, Trans Male Character)

FOUND? 🔒 go forward slowly by LadyKG (Not Rated, 47k, YZY/Madam Jin, WangXian, WIP, YZY and madam jin run away together, and take all the kids, like ALL the kids, and become better mothers, they find themselves again, and their happiness, Happy Ending, lots of night hunts, Lots of mysteries)

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12. Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a ff. It’s one where Wei comes back to the past with his memories and saves his parents from the night hunt and he works w/ his parents to prevent the war and prevent Lan Zhan’s mom and dad from dying. from what i can remember wei ying doesn’t become close to the jiang fam this time around and they make the burial grounds into like a sect or something similar because his father owns the land. And they meet his father’s family. Thank you!! @/thepaththatleadsyouhome #3 of post

FOUND? Time Charm by Jenrose  (E, 141k, wangxian, later queerplatonic LWJ/WWX/WQ, LXC/JGY/2nd Madam Mo, time travel fix-it, post-canon, everyone lives au, genius inventor WWX, BAMF wangxian, first time, pregnancy, childbirth, asexual character, aftermath of time travel, telepathic bond, slice of life)

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13. Hey, can you help me find this fic? I think it’s called “Breathing Underwater” and it was a rare pair ship b/w Black Water Sinking Ships and Yilling Louzu. He Xuan used to call the later his LianHua. @utxqia #4 of post

FOUND? 🔒 Breathing Underwater by Suzoomie (G, 7k, HX/WWX, WangXian, TGCF Crossover, Canon Divergence, most mdzs characters appear or are mentioned, Possessive Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Multiple Pov, Rarepair)

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14. Hi! I don’t know if I have the right to ask it here since its a comic fic. But I’m really desperate to find it. (A fic is a fic 😊 ~Mod L)

The comic fic is about Alpha LXC and Alpha JWY. I remember the two have a thing and they have a proposition that once they met their fated mate, they will end what they have. I remember in the end it turns dark since LXC actually killed his fated mate and JWY fated mate (secretly) to be with JWY. #9 of post

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15. Hi! I’m sorry for the bother. I would like to ask if you this fic. I only remember briefly about it. Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling are in Lotus Pier. I remember Jiang Wanyin gave lotus pork soup to both of then and wei wuxian commented that the soup taste like Jiang Yanli. Jin Ling was shocked because he didn’t know that the soup his jiujiu makes for him was actually his mom’s recipe. I also remember (not uste if it right) jiang wanyin saying to them that he tried to perfect them for his own comfort and for Jin Ling. Thank you very much #15 of post

FOUND? two million naturally occurring sweet things by theheartofthekoko (T, 3k, JC & WWX, JC & JL, JL & WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, love and grief in the form of making soup)

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16. Hi! I’ve been looking for a fanfiction where wwx time traveled in the past but he didn’t know and he just woke up in lotus pier and he roamed around for a bit and noticed a crack or something on the floor which wasn’t there before because lotus pier was renovated and then jiang cheng called him and the he hugged him cause apparently he died in a night hunt and i can’t remember the next. Can you help me find it? Thank you #4 of post

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17. Fic Finder: The story has WWX wheelchair-bound (because his legs are weak from his days being a street orphan) he eventually makes himself some cool mech legs (inspiration from past Jiang elders, in this story the Jiangs have a lot of disabled leaders. I remember there’s a blind elder using war fans and another using something similar like an assassination chord, another also lost their fingers/limbs thus made themselves mechparts). I know i said mech a lot but it’s not mech, i remember the story said it’s made of wood or something else.

Xue Yang is also in the family as WWX’s brother/guide/bodyguard and they went to CR for the teachings, the Biling Lake still happens and WWX (like a true diver he is) went for a swim and his mech legs kinda absorbs the resentful energy? The details were that his mech legs has glowing yellow runes, and it turned red after that incident. #10 of post

FOUND? Injuries Won't Hold Him Back by Cinder46231 (T, 32k, WangXian, WIP, Wheelchairs, WWX is in a wheelchair, XY is WWX's brother too, Paternal YZY, We have genius children)

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18. WWX was married(?) to WRH but it was from NMJ’s pov. WWX helped the SSC secretly, but still thought he would be killed. #16A of post

FOUND? burning camellias by AvoOwO (M, 284k, JC & WWX, WangXian, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, JC & JYL & WWX, JGY & WWX, WWX & WRH, WWX & WC, Canon Divergence, Sunshot Campaign, Prisoner of War, WWX is a Mess, Genius WWX, Revenge, Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Violence, Blood and Injury, BAMF WQ, BAMF WWX, BAMF WN, POV WWX, Hurt WWX, Crying, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Tired JGY, Tired WWX, Resentful Energy, Sentient Burial Mounds, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, No Golden Core Transfer, WWX Has No Golden Core, Golden Core Destruction | Golden Core Melting, WWX is a Little Shit, Poisoning, Smart WWX, Protective WQ, WWX & WQ Friendship, WWX is Not Okay, WWX is a Tease, WWX Loves LWJ, Medical Torture, JGY is a Mess, WC Being an Asshole, Cannibalism, WWX & WN Friendship, PTSD, Dubious Consent, Consent Issues, Heavy Angst)

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19. hiiii i’ve been looking for a fic i believe it was omegaverse but im not completely sure

all i remember was that wei ying was betrothed to JC but then their engagement was dissolved and eventually wangxian got engaged

i remember there was a scene in which wei ying was staying at lotus pier and jiang cheng and madame yu try to burn wei ying alive because they don’t like that he got engaged to someone else.

thank u for all ur help🫶🏼 #18 of post

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20. Hello there, sorry to bother all of you again, but I’m searching for this one fic

It’s set in modern time. So it tells the story of like WY was in a abusive relationship with someone who’s older than him and he got out of it.

The story begins like how he was jn the hospital because of it. Lan xichen was his doctor. And i remember that he was admitted because he was hit with a wine bottle i think.

In the story WY was like not allowed to go outside of his abusive boyfriend apartment and there’s a little bit grooming.

And this boyfriend was JYL friend, he’s an original character i think.

And the story continues with the recovery and there’s this scene where Su She grab his hand at a supermarket? and it reminded him of his ex and i think he panicked.

If you can help me I’ll be really happy. Thank you @lil-dusty-rose #20 of post

FOUND! daffodils to ambrosia by AvoOwO (M, 83k, WangXian, JC & WWX & JYL, WQ & WWX, NHS & WWX, WWX/OC, LXC & WWX, LXC & JC, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Modern, Florist WWX, Flowers, Language of Flowers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation, Abuse, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Grooming, Past Sexual Assault, Past Sexual Abuse, Domestic Violence, Tenderness, Blood, Violence, Crushes, Blushing, PTSD, Trauma, Hurt WWX, Soft WangXian, Gentleness, Recovery, Healing, Dissociation, Chronic Pain, Headaches & Migraines, WWX Has PTSD, WWX Has a Crush, LWJ Has a Crush, LWJ Has Feelings, Good Sibling JC, Protective JC, Good Sibling JYL, Forehead Kisses, Panic Attacks, Neck Kissing, Dubious Consent, Memories, Abusive Relationships, Kissing, the love of flowers, and healing with time)

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21. Looking for a vampire WWX/Hunter LWJ fic, that started with LWJ kneeling for the marriage ceremony and being bit, then the rest after that involved LWJ trying to keep away from WWX for his own good before they both get together. LWJ stays human. I think I found it on AO3? @/bcaugust

It’s not the right one(though it is one of my favorites and really close to the same vibe.) I also remember that the vampire bite would scar to indicate a spouse, if that helps anyone. #9 of post

Not FOUND! I Think Sunshine Would Treat Me Kind by vassal101

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22. Hi!

So I’m looking for a fic that I can’t find where I can’t remember what exactly happened, but it goes something like this;

Lwj and Wwx are sleeping, Lwj gets a nightmare, and he doesn’t tell Wwx about it, but he figures it out anyway and then Wwx waits to see whether Lwj will go back to sleep or have sex. They have rough sex in which Wwx specifically requests that he doesn’t want to come. And then they talk (I think it was just outside on a porch or something?) And then Lwj fingers him and gets him off.

I’m sorry I don’t remember more, I think it was one chapter and I’m really desperately trying to find this fic. If you could find it it would be much appreciated!!

Thank you! #10 of post

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23. I think wwx was a ghost, & found himself at the Cloud Recesses in the aftermath of lwj’s punishment. Lwj was in bad condition and almost died (a couple of times?) Eventually there was some sort of ritual to bring wwx back into a physical body, & he was in the adjoining room bc he was also very weak. (NB: this is not the fic where wwx is actually astral projecting from Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, it’s a different one). #17A of post

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24.

Looking for a fic where the focus iirc was more on LWJ teaching/raising lan juniors to express their emotions healthily.

Sorry, I don’t think it’s To be of use, I remember it being something shorter. Also WWX came back towards the later part of it. #20 of post

not FOUND! To be of use by Erisette

FOUND? Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Not Rated, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian, dad wangji, LWJ’s Questionable Parenting Skills, Grief/Mourning, Recovery, Injury Recovery, Hopeful Ending, Canon-Typical Violence)

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25. Hiiiiii thanks for everything you do ✨✨ I’m looking for a fic where LWJ is an angel and WWX was his partner but he is believed to be dead (after a mission??) but he is actually in the burial mounds with (WN and WQ??) and A-Yuan and he give him his « light » to save him??? Also something is trying to kill him or the wen. It’s a bit confusing I’m sorry can you help ??? 🥺✨ @/ihaveasoftspotfora-yuan #2 of post

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26. Hi! I am looking for a WangXian fic on AO3 that (honestly I don’t remember much because I read it a long time ago) but it was a gathering of some sort and wei wuxian wasn’t feeling that well ( u know when his magic is on edge), and something triggered it to go haywire so he started to run but like it had already gotten out of control n everyone was watching him in pain, trying to control, n how Lan zhan helped him. @/nisooom #4 of post

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27. Hi! Thank you for all your hard work!! I’ve been searching for MONTHS for a fic that follows the general first scenes of WWX’s resurrection, except because LWJ is so quick to bring him back to Gusu, he assumes LWJ and MXY were secret lovers? Or assumes that LWJ likes him, and has to wrestle with what that means to him? If anyone knows this story, I am BEGGING for the link :’D #6 of post

FOUND? Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

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28. Hello! I dont know if I should label this as fic finder or ITMF or maybe both. its a fic where lwj and lxc compete for wwx’s heart. i know that ive read one like this but i cant find it anymore [its a series where wwx died right, then when he came back, lxc said to lwj that if wwx chose him before, lxc will stand beside him (talking about the siege)] #8 of post

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29. Hello again. I’m hoping to find a fic of someone transmigrating into Yu Ziyuan. WWX calls her “Spirit Auntie” and she works to help him overcome his fear of dogs by getting him a bunny named “Dog” and a puppy named “Bunny”. If it was deleted then, oh well. Thank you for helping anyway. @/gwencaer #15 of post

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30. For the next fic finder - I’m looking for a fic where LZ (unintentionally) was harming wwx (I think mostly by reputation - maybe for seemingly being promiscuous or disparaging his demonic cultivation?) and NHS yelled at him. I wish I remember more but at this time I think i’ve mixed it up with like 4 wildly different fics. I mostly just remember writing the review that I was pleased someone had finally clued LZ to the harm he was doing and that I was excited to see him try to fix it. Thanks! @/math-is-magic​ #17 of post

NOT FOUND! Story-Shaped by lingering_song

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31. hello! I’m looking for a WIP, abo, royalty au fic where the main pairing was lsz/jl with background emperor!lwj/empress!wwx. the summary was that o!jin ling had been warned away by jc from the royal fam his entire life bc of empress!wwx’s supposed role in jyl’s death, but, when he goes to the capital, meets and starts falling in love with a!prince!lan sizhui (to his own displeasure). in one scene, jl is going through his heat, lsz smells him and drops his sword running away. wwx and lwj had three kids, and one of the later chapters revealed that wwx was pregnant again. i’m pretty sure it’s been deleted/hidden bc it doesn’t come up in any of the relevant tags, but I’d be deeply grateful if someone has a link to it on the way back machine or something similar. thank you for your help! #18 of post

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32. Hi, looking for the fic where LZ and WY are in college. Lan Zhan is engaged to Jin Zixuan, Wei Ying valets at a party at the Jins. He helps a drunk LZ who was attending it drive home and things develop from there. They don’t know each other personally but do after that night. I read this fic once couple of yrs ago, can’t seem to find it again. Pls help, thanks! #19 of post

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33. For fic finder: It was set in canon era, WangXian. Golden cores were literal orb-like jewels that could be cut out of a cultivator’s chest, thus creating the opportunity for an illegal poaching trade. There was a scene where Wen Chao gleefully cut out Jiang Cheng’s, and I think he also took Wuxian’s. During the Sunshot Campaign when JC and LWJ get their swords back they also find the room of stolen cores, and are shocked to find WWX’s. Anyone know this one? Please! #20 of post

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34. Hey, I’m looking for a fanfic in which LWJ assuming that he somehow impregnated WWX in his dreams when WWX says that he birthed Wen Yuan, I remember reading this fanfic on ao3, but I can’t find it. There’s a fanfic that looks like the one I want. called Taking Responsibility, but it’s not what I’m looking for. please if anyone knows, help me 😭😭😭😭😭 @/narablackpotter #1 of post

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35. Hello again!!!

I need help finding a fic please!

I don’t remember much but I know that wwx and the juniors were on a night hunt or something when they came across some type of dog-like yao. Wwx fought it by himself even though he was scared shitless and I think he did something to restrain or protect the juniors so they couldn’t help him. I think he got injured and all the juniors were worrying over him. Sorry if this isn’t descriptive enough. It’s all I can remember 🥲 thanks in advance!!! @jikcf​ #11 of post

FOUND? heroic aftermath by Last_for_Hell (T, 5K, LSZ & WWX, JL & WWX, LJY & WWX, OYZZ & WWX, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, WangXian, Aftermath of Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt WWX, the juniors love wwx and he loves them too, Guilt, References to WWX’s Cynophobia, Implied Sexual Content)

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36. hi hi! Im trying to look for a wangxian fic but i barely remember anything of it.

the only thing i remember was the near ending where wwx is in a hospital bed and mutters “fuck me” and lwj “maybe later”

that’s all i remember i’m so sorry 😔 #12 of post

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37. Hii! For the next fic finder can you help me with this fic where after WY resurrection lWJ is happy but at the same time has moments where he’s annoyed by WY but then he also feels guilty about it cause he should just be happy WY is back after all. It follows the canon, mostly, it just has more LZ POV #14 of post

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38. I’m looking for a fic where the night after Wei Ying tries to run away and is brought back by the Jiang children, someone (either Madam Yu or the Head Disciple) mentions they’ll need to talk to the night watch, because 'three children shouldn’t be able to slip away at separate times without being noticed’ (Not quite a direct quote but alpng those lines.) #17 of post

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39. Hi, I’m looking for a fic where Wei Ying has amnesia and thinks hes a ghost who haunts lotus pier and is really out of it and convinced hes dead. Good ending, just cant find it. @quxxnrandonmness27 #18 of post

FOUND? can't find a way home by KouriArashi (M, 109k, WangXian, JC & JYL, JC & JYL & LWJ, LXC/JGY, WWX & WQ, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Family Feels, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Developing Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical political bullshit, Mental Health Issues, Eventual Happy Ending, Descriptions of suicide,(caused by dark magic))

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40. I am looking for a fic for a while. It would be really great if you are able to find it. There was a scene where a a baby Lan sect disciple challenges LWJ for a duel to marry WWX. It was an adorable scene where the lan child confuses WWX platonic cheek kiss and concludes that he has to fight for his Wei-qianbei’s honour (even though he is intimidated by Hanguang-jun). Thank you in advance!!

Hello it’s the requester for no. 19 from the recent fic finder. Thank you so much for the quick response. The fic you found was really similar to the one I was looking for and I enjoyed it. Although it was not the fic I had in mind(I guess it is a scene from a larger work or it may be deleted). But, nevertheless I really a thankful for the mods and others who are so enthusiastic and helpful!!! I hope you have a great day!! #19 of post

not FOUND A Small Love by JTHM_Michi

NOT FOUND could be a scene in 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 803k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement)

FOUND! A marriage duel. by satans_dolly_boy666 (G, 2k, WWX & OC(s), LSZ & LJY, WangXian, WWX-centric, Shameless WWX, Duelling, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, Same-Sex Marriage, Married Couple, Married Life, Married Characters, So Married, Gusu Lan Sect, Gūsū Lán Disciples, Cute Kids, Teaching, Senior WWX, Gusu Lan juniors, Gusu Lan dialect, Misunderstandings, LQR is done, Cloud Recesses, Post-Canon, Husbands, Innocence, Gusu Lan is needed of sex education ASAP, Teacher-Student Relationship, Students, WWX living in the Cloud RecessesH, e is loved by everyoneee, Protectiveness, Protective Husband, LQR will die someday because of Wwx, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Romantic Comedy, Love Triangles, but not really, WWX is a Lan)

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41. hello! for fic finder, may i ask for a great tumblr meta that i cant find anywhere? (i feel like i should disclaim that ppl should read what they find hot. i just saw a recent mxtx interview that said like the exact same thing as the meta and thought it was cool)

the meta talks about how mxtx specifically choosing to write lwj as a top WAS the gnc option. i think op was just frustrated about some people insisting that switching/top wwx was ‘less heteronormative’ (as a justification for liking it??). i think op mentioned that this seems like a western take on mdzs?

basically, in the meta, they expand on how lwj is gnc-coded. like how touching lwj’s headband equals staining his honor like how a cdrama man kissing an unmarried woman would be (this is what mxtx also said herself in the interview), and a bunch of other things (handling money, etiquette, lwj keeping track of wwx’s tastes as opposed to wwx buying him spicy food, the incense burner domesticity, and idk more stuff i cant remember)

i *think* they wrote something like “all mxtx couples come with the gnc already built in” which was a cool point imo (one example is hc flipping the gege kink), but i tried searching for that and i couldn’t find it for the life of me. thank you! (Huh, I feel like I remember this one faintly 🤔 ~Mod L) #2 of post

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42. This fic is a modern au, I think that both LZ and WY are cultivators, WY specifically is kind of a witch (?), he messes with dark magic and lives in a haunted town or something like this. There’s a reencounter between the two (I don’t know if by chance or if LZ tracks WY) and at some point LZ gets worried that WY is sorrounded by ghosts/resentful energy, but he is aware of the situation. I think WY even has a pet crow/cat, but I’m not sure. And the plot may envolve him being isolated, running away or being expelled because of his methods of cultivation. Also, I’m pretty sure there’s a fanart featured in the story that has Wangxian and the haunted place WY lives/takes care. #4A of post

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43. hiii it’s me again I’m sorry I can’t seem to find anything rn and you guys are literal lives savers I’m looking for a fit where lwj was raisin A-Yuan and I just remember that they were talking about wwx and lwj compared him to a butterfly going in a dark forest to bring back treasures for other but each time he made the trip he lost some of his light until one day he couldn’t come back. that all I have can you help ???🙇🏼‍♀️ thank youuuuuu✨✨ @/ihaveasoftspotfora-yuan #8 of post

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44. Hiya, im hoping you guys can help me find this fic? The only things I remember is it was canon setting, lwj pov, where he kept hiding/fidgeting with his hands in his sleeves and the author kept bringing attention to it to show him being nervous. It was also complete and definitely longer than 10k at least. Thank you! #12 of post

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45. Hi! It’s me again. It’s for fic finder. On this fic, Qin Su dies and Jin Rusong lives. Before QS dies, she told JRS to never trust JGY and a few days after she said that, she dies because of drowning (i think). That happen in the flashback. And JRS indirectly help NHS in his revenge. Thats all i can remember. Thank you!!! @/idontknowwhattowriteforusername #15 of post

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46. This is a modern au fic again a oneshot ig? The only thing i remember is that lwj was a fashion icon here and very sassy . Oblivious Wwx as usual ! i think wwx implied lwj like mianmian and later lwj talks to his brother and says “ brother do i not look gay enough?” .I do not remember anything else . Also it had good friendship dynamics with almost everyone.No angst but again i can be remembering wrong . Also !!!!! Lwj wore heels ( it wasn’t a genderbend fic ) #4B of post

FOUND? Turn the Other Cheek by Minyoongiisacatuwu (E, 19k, WangXian, Unreliable Narrator, Modern, Oblivious WWX, Panties, LWJ flirting very hard, Rabbits, Rimming, Mutual Pining, LWJ is a top in a Thong, LWJ in heels, Fashionista LWJ, Friends to Lovers, Aftercare, Porn with Feelings, College/University)

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47. I was wondering if you can help me find a fic. It was so long ago I’m ngl. I remember it was stormy and the cultivators had to seek shelter or they saved someone. In return that someone a ‘fortune teller’ could show the future. I remember I think Qiren was wary. She showed the future to the previous generation like cangse sanren and lan qiren. I think she also showed the future to Wei wuxian generation. It might have been in Portuguese or spanish maybe. It could have been in english. @/whitewoodwalker #7 of post

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48. Hello mods!! I’ve been looking for a very specific fic for a while now but I can’t find it with the usual tags. It’s wangxian, post canon and mpreg, where LSZ, studying the gold cores, tries to help WWX form a new one by dual cultivatition (with LWJ) but instead accidentally gets him pregnant. I hope you can help me and thanks in advance! @/jenaerith #11 of post

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49. This is a bit of an obscure one but I’m trying to find a fic: I don’t remember if it was time travel or something else but something happened that led to Lan Zhan having to immobilize Wei Ying like Wen Qing did to him after Qiongqi Path, despite Wei Ying telling him he wouldn’t survive it if it happened to him (again?) and then when they meet again they have to deal with the fact that Lan Zhan did it anyway. I can’t remember the context so hopefully someone recognizes it anyway @vulpestars #14 of post

FOUND? If You Forget Me by DivideTheSorrow (Not Rated, 189k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, YZY/JFM, WIP, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, Relationship(s), Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, Original Character(s), Angst)

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50. For FF, I can’t recall if it was time travel or not, but the scene I recall: CR arc, WWX refusing to copy his punishment texts in the library. He confessed to LWJ that he wasn’t planning to complete the copying because the punishment was unfair. He said something like: it takes more than 1 to cheat (I think it was the cheating bit) but I’m the only one being punished. And that opened LWJ’s eyes for the punching JZX scene. Can’t remember where it went after but I really want to read LWJ’s realization again. @/mreisse #20 of post

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[timchalamet-devoted]

Long Distance

I haven't had any energy to write recently, but I found this in my drafts from a while ago, so I thought I'd post it! I feel like it rants on a bit too much, so I hope it's alright. <3

Summary: Long distance is difficult, but you and Timmy power through

Pairing: Timothée x fem.reader

Fluff!

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Masterlist

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The familiar beep sounded through the silent room. It read 2:56 am on the screen of your phone, as you unplugged it from its charger and opened facetime, forcing your eyes open. Nothing yet. While waiting for the nightly phone call, you propped yourself up onto your elbows, and your eyes wandere to the right of you, where your thin, white curtains swayed and flapped slightly from the mild breeze that entered through the open balcony door; the night air cooled your hot skin, pleasant and blissful. Due to the transparency of the fabric, you could quite clearly make out the full moon, that cast its heavenly glow across your bed and your uncovered figure, blankets laying discarded somewhere on the floor, curtesy of the dense summer air. Despite the time, the roads below were alive with distant sounds of chatter, cars rushing by, teenagers emerging from another nightclub. You found London to be like New York: it was a city that, indeed, never slept.

You were snapped out of your thoughts as your phone vibrated in your hand, presenting you with a glorious sight. Not wanting to wait a moment longer, you quickly pressed 'accept', and a face flooded the screen. It was the face of your favourite person, the one you so longed to touch, and kiss and see, yet couldn't for another dreadful 2 months.

"Y/NNN!!!" His bright eyes shined at you.

"TIMMY!!"

He had the goofiest smile spread across his face, and at this point, so did you. The day had dragged on, boring and exhausting, but the thought of seeing this face kept you giddily ploughing through.

It was no secret that long-distance sucked, and unfortunately, you and Timothée were no exception to this burden of being actors. Timmy was in Budapest, working on Dune part 2, and at the same time, you were in London, filming your next project. You absolutely loved your job, it was one you dreamed of from the age of 11, however not being able to come home together with Timothée, or to hold him in your arms was heartbreaking for the both of you.

Your cheeks flushed red as you lay your eyes upon the gorgeous brown locks framing his face, the pools of green that were admiring you through the screen, and that toothy smile, that told you he was just as happy to see you.

"You look so beautiful mon amour"

"As do you," you smiled, feeling happier than you were all day. Sometimes, you didn't even need to talk during your calls; sometimes, it was enough to just look at each other and to know that the other was just a phone call away. Most of the time, however, you spent these blessed minutes making utter fools of yourself. But that was what you loved about your relationship: it was one where you trusted each other fully and loved every inch and aspect of each other. You two were practically best friends - and well you were. You understood each other like no one else could, never afraid that you would look silly or embarrassing in front of the other. There was no such thing. You could be as ridiculous as your heart desired, and Timmy would still look at you with pure adoration in his eyes and the same for you. You were eachothers safe spaces, of love and vulnerability. Although you never felt vulnerable around him; for you knew that he would do anything his power to protect you.

You spent a good while asking each other questions back and forth, suppressing the yawns that took over your bodies. Despite the longing, it felt good to talk to your boy, and to exchange your feelings of anwavering love for eachother, even though it was often accompanied by a silly gesture or a remark that only you would send you both into fits of giggles. At one point, Timmy pretended to pick his nose, pouting as he did. You instantaniously screenshotted this, smiling to yourself, knowing you'd soon assign it as your new wallpaper.

As your conversation went on, your eyes grew heavier by the minute, and so did Timothée's. You fell silent, simply gazing into his eyes, him staring right back. You could see the endless shades of green, dancing in his eyes, those eyes that said I love you.

You knew it long before, but now, in this moment of peace and yearning, you relished in the fact that you knew you wanted to spend every last one of your minutes with him. Your boy. Your Timmy.

[maddogofshimano]

Hello! Seeing this blog was an insta-follow. JW, did u do a translation somewhere of…whatever this is? https://youtu.be/tfAqq15hv5s?si=xXzvWG1ImZ_qGGGb

I’d love to know what she’s saying, I’m scraping and scrounging for more Goromi content. There *is* a translation in the comments section, but it’s worded strangely…

hey thanks!! I am waaaaaaaaay less confident in translating spoken stuff, especially with Goromi's wildly fluctuating accent and general screeching but at one point I did go through and do some of the easier ones. however!! a kind soul has transcribed everything in the comments since the last time I checked so I'm doing this proper now. under a cut because it got long lol

italics is Goromi dropping into the masc Majima-style voice

0:00 どーもー ゴロ美でーす。真島? あ? 誰やそれ つべこべ言わんと はよドンペリ入れんかい! Hiii I'm Goromi. Majima? Huh? Don't talk about whoever that is, hurry up and bring out the Dom Perignon! 0:13 はぁあん 仕事もできる女 それがゴ・ロ・美 またモテてまうわぁ はぁ 参るなぁ Haaa~ A woman can do work too. That's Go - ro - mi. She'll be popular again. Haa~ Give me a call~ 0:28 めっちゃジロジロ見られたわぁ 嫌やわぁ セクハラちゃうー? I'm gettin' stared at so much. I don't like it. Is this sexual harassment? 0:35 よっしゃー! 暴れるでぇお前らー! All right! I'm gonna go ballistic on you all! 0:39 あ? パンツ見えてる? だからなんやねん Huh? Ya can see my panties? Watch where you're lookin'! 0:46 あーあ 早う桐生ちゃん来んかのぉー Ahhhh… won't Kiryu-chan hurry up~? 0:53 なんや 俺は安い女とちゃうで　 What is it? I ain't a cheap gal. 0:59 あ? パンツ見えてる? いやーんこのドス��ベー 目ん玉くり抜いたろかぁ! Ya can see my panties? Ooooh ya perv~! I'll gouge out your fuckin' eyes!* 1:08 いやーん ええ飲みっぷりやないかぁ ちょっと見直したでぇ Oooh, you seem like ya can hold your drink~ I'm startin' to come around on ya~ 1:16 うち 強い奴が好きやねん うちを その気にさせたいんならぁ 殺す気で来いやぁ! Me, I like strong guys. If ya want me to like you… then ya better come at me like ya want me dead!* 1:27 やだ ゴロ美ったらドキドキしてる 気に入ったでぇ おぉ! ドス持ってこいやぁ! いっちょやり合おうやないかー! No way, ya got Goromi's heart all flutterin'. Oh! This is perfect for my dagger! Time to fight!" 1:39 うちも一杯もらってええか? 今日はなんだか飲みたい気分やねん Is it alright if I get one too? Today I'm in the mood to drink. 1:48 はい どーぞっ! ゴロ美特性 ゲロマズカクテルやでぇ なぁ 飲めや Here you go! Goromi's special super yucky cocktail! …Hey, drink it. 1:57 桐生ちゃん 驚くやろなぁ Kiryu-chan's a surprisin' guy~ 2:01 ゴロ美 ドキドキしちゃう You're gonna make Goromi's heart flutter.* 2:04 うちが ナンバーワンキャバ嬢 ゴロ美や 覚えときー I'm the number one cabaret girl Goromi, ya better remember that. 2:12 ヒーヒッヒヒヒー 惚れても知らんでぇ Hehehehee not my fault if you're fallin' for me~* 2:16 ますますべっぴんになってくでぇ I'm becoming more and more beautiful~ 2:20 奇麗なバラには トゲがあるんやでぇ A beautiful rose still has its thorns. 2:26 魔性の女 それがゴロ美やでぇ Goromi, a woman with a devilish nature~ 2:31 ゴロ美の新たな魅力 感じてやぁ Experience Goromi's fresh new glamor. 2:36 ふぉーん なかなか見どころあるやないかぁ ま、けどアフターはお預けや There's a lot of good things to see, aren't there? Well, that will have to wait for the after hours date. 2:45 やるやないかぁ へえぇ ゴロ美アフター権 進呈したるわ このボケがぁ! Well it can't be helped. I'm presentin' ya with the rights to an after hours date with Goromi. Ya dumb ass! 2:56 ご指名 おおきに Thank ya for requestin' me.* 2:59 男女がやる事いうたらー 喧嘩しかないやろがぁ! There's a thing that men and women do together… They fight each other! 3:06 か弱いレディーに 何するんじゃボケェ! This weak lady, what the hell are ya doin' to her, idiot! 3:10 あかーん そんなんじゃゴロ美は濡れへんでぇ! Siiiilly, that kind of thing won't get Goromi wet! (tl note: I……………………. I feel like there's something I'm misreading here. but. turns out I'm not!!) 3:14 当店はお触り禁止じゃぁ! We don't allow touching in this establishment!!! 3:17 野暮な男は嫌いやでぇ! I hate men with no manners!!

(tl note: the rest of these are various battle callouts) 3:24 ボトル入りまーす! Bottle comin' through! 3:26 これ うちの名刺! Here's… my business card! 3:30 ゴロ美に惚れたら 火傷するでぇ! If ya fall for Goromi… You're gonna get burned! 3:35 お客様は神様 なわけあるかボケェ! The customer is king… what a stupid idea! 3:41 イーヒッヒヒヒー 太客認定したるわぁ! Eeehehehehee, I just bagged a big spender! 3:46 シャンパン入りまーす! Champagne comin' through! 3:49 花は いつか散るんやでぇ Flowers will… always scatter… 3:54 終わりがあるから 美しいんやでぇ Because they must end… They are beautiful… 4:01 またのご来店 お待ちしてまーす! We look forward to seeing you agaaaaiiiin! 4:05 はぁ うちをもっと燃えさす奴はおらんのかいなぁ Haaa… is there no one left who can get me fired up? 4:11 ゴロ美の「み」は 皆殺しの「み」じゃぁ! The "mi" in "Goromi" is… from the "mi" in "minagoroshi"! (tl note: wholesale slaughter) 4:16 稼ぎ時を逃さん女 それがゴロ美じゃボケェ! Goromi, a woman who's never let a chance to make a profit escape her! 4:23 ヒヒッ ゴロ美 ほてってきたでぇ Hehe, Goromi's burnin' hot! 4:29 ヒヒッ 延長やぁ 当たり前やろ! Hehe, an extension. Obviously! (tl note: for using a continue in a fight) 4:36 ごっついのぉ Real strong, huh… (tl note: for losing)

whew! as usual if I fucked something else please tell me some of this stuff gets real in the weeds. all I can do is my best

thanks again for the follow and for suggesting this! I'm real glad I took another look, that minagoroshi line really made me laugh. unrelated to Goromi but I'll have a new event up in a week or so because the one going on right now is so incredibly funny to me. it's a Saejima event. look forward to it * Edit: a couple of line corrections thanks to @imustbenuts Thank you again!!!

[auzlon]

Oh where, thou art sweet slumber.

I can't sleep I think its the panic attack I gave myself in the car today. It's 2:28 am, I slept 10 hours yesterday and I think today 5 will be a god send.

Why the panic attack? Him. He still lives here in me. I thought again of how he his telling the story our separation, is he telling people I was an ungrateful bitch, that I just wanted the single life, that I wouldn't have sex with him, or something subtle or worse nothing at all. I thought of confrontation and i do that on regular basis think of a scenario in which I cause more emotional damage to myself than anything. In this one he's telling everyone I wouldn't have sex with him.

I say to him

"I didn't want to have sex? that's why everything fell apart? Be so fucking for real!", my eyes watering, my voice pitching. "I loved you of course I wanted you. I was attracted to you, I wanted to get fucked by you every day. It was never an issue of me not wanting to have sex, it was issue of the fucking disappointment in your eyes and words when wasn't good enough. You were injured I got that it wasn't solely up to you, but you expected me to lead and just suck you off for your sake. To demonstrate that I wasn't selfish, that I could give without expecting. But Jesus, I would do it then your yelling at me a week later because I haven't done it again. I couldn't have sex with you unless the lights were off and I was blasted, and as soon as I finished I showered. It became a fucken chore, became you made it seem like a clock was fucken ticking for me to initiate and do it, TOO YOU. Your questioning why I didn't enjoy it? You were a body, when I initiated you didn't kiss, or touch me or show any kind of want for me. And that destroyed my confidence." I am in pain in those word, my breathe hicks, my hands are shaking. "You told me once crying wouldn't get me anywhere, as If I was child crying over candy. I was crying because I couldn't understand how you could yell at me and say some of the things you did. You said be open, transparent I cried and you turned it on me. You wonder why I fell out of love?

I am nauseated for allowing you to treat me the way you did for as long as you did."

I imagine that when those words are said, I wear a bitterly won face. The tear falling but keeping my expression firm. It's not about giving him the satisfaction but knowing I won't sob over this anymore. Over him, what he did, what he said, and how we laughed.

it's 2:56 AM now.

I wonder much and know none. I knew your voice in the dark,

I knew your moans once upon a time.

I knew what it was to be a goddess and they a priest.

I knew you in the dark my mind clouded.

I wonder when the priest chose a new religion.

I knew when,

I no longer wanted your prayers.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

10 Jikook Moments That Make Me Say "There is no way Jikook is not real"

You know how sometimes when you are watching some Jikook content you get the random thought that says "How in the world is this even real?!?" For reals. A lot of Jikook moments are just...magical. They are something else. Real "I am you, you are me" (I really like that phrase, can you tell?).

Some moments legit have no explanation other than it's 2 people who are in love and are together. Together? Forever. Forever?

So here is my list (In no particular order, except number 1 and 2. Those moments are just the top moments for me):

10. Jungkook melting

This particular scene left a huge impression on me. Jimin caresses Jungkook's face and Jk closes his eyes and let's the touch take him. Its romantic.

There is no way on Earth that 2 people can touch each other like this and not feel anything remotely similar to love. No way.

Sure, friends with benefits can do it, or just friends can do it, but to get to this point where your face is caressed and you MELT, that's undeniable love. Touch with love elicits this sort of response. And we don't only see this in this scene, there are tons of others where the same thing happens!

(Like in yesterday's Jikook hug. Jk melted into Jimin.)

9. Mma 2018

A classic, right?

Have you ever seen any 2 other idols do this? It's like they forgot the cameras and all the people existed and poor Hyunjae next to them raising his eyesbrows left and right lol The guy seemed traumatized lol

They let their romantic thoughts win. Jk couldn't get his eyes off of Jimin. He even wanted to help him sit lol The way he looked at him. Like he wanted to kiss every inch of his face. His eyes spilling love.

I've watched this so many times and I stare at my screen in disbelief everytime. But I get it. Sometimes the moment is then and Jungkook and Jimin lived it.

8. You are my Park Filter 🥰

We are only supposed to watch unedited content, right everyone? So if you want to watch the whole live, go to weverse. This is a nice summary lol

Every respected Jikooker needs to have watched this, in my opinion lol

Jk is being the best boyfriend he can be and comes running the moment Jimin calls. There is lots of hand holding, soft tones in their voices, and very boyfriendy vocabulary being exchanged according to k-army, smiles, laughs, an appearance by their best man Mr. Hobi.

I watch this and it's like omg, they are happy together. And it makes me feel all happy to 3rd wheel along lol

If that doesn't convince you, maybe Jimin's shy shy shy face will!!!

7. Finger heartu 💕

It's not the finger heart that makes me think Jikook is real...but Jimin's reaction. Like no Jungkook, we are supposed to be chill in this concert...

And then Nam in the back tying his shoelace, that is already tied, but serves as an anti anxiety technique when dealing with Jikook.

It caught Jimin by surprise, like all these grand gestures Jungkook likes to surprise him with.

6. Jikook in their wedding suits...just kidding. Jimin losing himself when looking at Jungkook

First of all, omg. They looked handsome that day. There was a lot of Jikookery going on in these awards.

And then I see this scene. I feel like it's rare when Jimin lets his guard down and allows us to see him melt like this over Jk. I think Jimin just forgot about the cameras. His sweet smile and soft gaze for Jungkook only got softer when Jk looked at him too.

Then reality hit and back to business casual.

My point is that you don't forget that all eyes are on you unless more important eyes are on you. So many people were watching, but to Jimin, the ones that are the most important are Jungkook's eyes. And the same can be said about Jungkook.

5. 2315 in PTD Seoul

2315.

But that's not all.

In that same concert, Jk also referenced the numbers:

BUT that is not all...

After that concert, Jk had a quick live on Instagram and he referenced the numbers in his own way:

0:56 seconds: "Finally, in Korea, in 2.5 years, feels like 23 years, we finally had a concert in Korea. We got to do it..."

23. I was trying to figure out what the 23 meant since he referenced it twice. And one twitter discussion said that the was referring to 2300 days. That made sense to me. Has anyone heard anything about this number?

But going back to the 2315....

So k-army did the math for us and found that 2315 from March 10, 2022 (PTD concert) is...

November 08, 2015, which many believe might be the start of Jikook or a date that seems to be very important to them.

There is just too much persistence from both Jk and Jimin to show us what 11/8 means to them. It's like the are silently screaming it for us to understand.

4. GCF Tokyo

If Jungkook still mentions it, then so do we!

Everything about this date captured on video is literally that...a date. The video doesn't even show Tokyo...just Jungkook's Jimin and he decided to share that with us. Not for fan service or because he was forced...but maybe because "I'll be loud for you, but you gotta be there for me too..."

Jk, the hopeless romantic, organized this whole trip and focused only on Jimin, another hopeless romantic.

Whenever I hear of people saying this video doesn't have romantic tones, I leaves me baffled.

After I played this video for my partner, before they knew anything about Jikook, they were like "So are these guys getting married?" Lol

The Jikooker anthem! Let's all watch it together and cry of happiness!

Boy, I'm holdin' onto something

Won't let go of you for nothing

I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you

There was a time that I was so blue

What I got to do to show you?

I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you

Runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you

Runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you

Said, I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you

But you gotta be there for me too

3. Rose Bowl Ear Nomming

Friends don't do this. Friends just don't. No one does other than a significant other or someone who is interested in you romantically or sexually. Friends don't do this. I cant think of anything else to say lol just...Friends don't do this.

And then the aftermath photo doesn't lie either:

2. Euphoria

So I saw this observation in another blog but haven't seen anyone mention it. During this live, Jimin was playing everyone's song while doing Legos. He listened to Euphoria and afterwards, kept humming the melody and smiling. And after a while he says:

Why would listening to Jungkook sing remind him of being at home? It's not like Jk sings all day and night. It's not like Jimin has told us before that he listens to Jk sing about 8 hours per day...wait.

So yes, this moment is up there because Jimin's subconscious is telling us everything.

1. J-hope's Album Release Party

Ok, hear me out. In the bangtan bomb, we saw this for a total of 5 seconds max.

But this moment is LOUD. This right here should have been the end of any speculation. For reals, when I think about Jikook moments this is the biggest moment of them all. Why?

Well, because Jimin and Jk were just minding their own business in a little corner of the entire place. A little dark and cozy corner. From what we can see, their hands touching and being close enough. No one was around them. Just 2 people wanting to be close to each other.

And we've all seen this or lived this. At a party, when 2 people are hitting it off, they seclude themselves and people give them space and let be them be in their own bubble. Except that in this case, the camera caught them. Seriously, camera man? What was the reason!?!?!?

And we get Jk's face of "are you freakin kidding me?" Jimin getting shy and looking at Jk for reassurance. There wasn't supposed to be a camera or anyone around bothering. This was Jikook in their most natural state.

We also have to remember that this is during Jimin's time when he was living in the studio making FACE so Jikook wasn't spending as much time together. Jimin was taking a day off here and one thing led to another...and they are holding hands lol

And I love this moment because people don't get to say "you only have moment from 2018" "they are doing it for the cameras" "jikook jikooked when they were young but they got it out of their system" "so and so should have been there too so it wasn't a jikook thing" blah blah.

For me, this moment is it.

Watch the entire bangtan bomb and check out how Jk kept tabs on Jimin in the scenes where we see them together. And the same with Jm keeping tabs on Jk. Also, this photograph:

There is a better version of this photo but it's so edited that you can hardly see Jk.

Anyway, this is my number 1 because there is no way that this is not real.

Phew. It was hard picking...

I might need a part 2.