#its 2 am and im amusing myself

[luckkythirt33n]

oh no Elias can hear you he has his earphones in 👁️🪈

[petday]

I make fandom art I make porn I make stuff that makes me miserable and I make stuff that makes me happy and I follow all the advice online but still nobody likes my art. I know it's good art and im not insecure about my talent level but no matter what I post or where I post it, nobody wants to like or interact with my art at all. I know people see it I know people are scrolling past without acknowledging what I make and it fucking sucks. I don't have friends to share stuff I make with and nobody online cares clearly. What do you do when nobody likes you or what you offer.

Good question. This response involves some of my history. I try to talk about my experiences at a comfortable distance. But please skip to the 'Solutions' part if you're bored.

My thoughts below:

It's painful. I have a lot of memories of high intensity pain due to no one engaging with me, at school and online. 'If I live in the same world as others, but it still feels like I am in a world with just myself, what is the point of trying to make things? Sure, I will feel better about myself as I grow, but I've still got no one to grow with, so I am just talking to myself. Amusing myself is fine, but I want to reach a level of fun above amusement, a level that others seem to reach so naturally.' 

In fact, maybe you are less 'outward' with your emotions, but as a child and teenager and young adult, there was a lot of screaming and crying and thrashing about 'not being granted the ability to make things others will seriously engage with me about.' 

(The pain remained after making a few friends during teenage years. The pain's attitude shifted slightly to accommodate this new life change of gaining friends. Much later, even after I became an artist with a large visible number of 'followers/people interested in something you make', the pain shifted its shape around this life change again. "People make bad assumptions of me because I have a big visible number in my profile and most websites do not give me the ability to hide that number." Summary: If your pain/frustration still remains after you gain a friend or find people who engage you, don't beat yourself up. Emotions don't work in such a way that the outcomes you desire are only guaranteed to make you happy and no other emotions will rise.)

Although I loved to look at art on websites since I was a child, one may assume I enjoyed the community aspect. I did, but only as a spectator for the vast majority of the time, since age restrictions and the harsh attitudes that exist to 'prevent the weak from touching the strong' was present in many of the sites I visited. Similar to how children get frustrated when another child cannot keep up with their play, but the child that is 'left out' can still enjoy watching other kids play from afar. It makes perfect sense to me these feelings will always exist in the world no matter what 'social media' websites people invent.

Anyway, two solution attempts in succession I tried over long-term:

1. My first attempt at a solution was immersing myself in a fantasy world I created in my mind and I held my imagination in high esteem. "I know my imagination takes influence from the things I read and admire, so it's not such a lonely world anyway." Creating episode lists of imaginary cartoon episodes and such, so dedicated to something I hardly told anyone about. It felt good. But my friends had original characters too, and they could describe their personalities and dynamics to others naturally and quickly, likely due to their earlier experiences with 'communicating ideas to others.' I was quiet and envious. Although it was fun to play with the imaginary characters in my head, I decided to take another step. Of course I could not simply go back in time to gain the similar social experiences my friends had. But I could use that desire to 'go back in time' to 'go forward in time' and gain the experience.

2. Engage in others first. Because I spent a long time in my imagination, I felt more secure about myself, so I wanted to extend the feeling of 'caring about my own work' to 'caring about others' work on an equal level.' The internet allows you to assess people before engaging to see if your compatibility might be okay. If someone had posts that resonated with me, I tried to say 'hello, I like what you posted/I like your drawing because [...]' Even if the contact ended there, it was a good practice. Gently communicate with people over time. Especially since I am sure there are people who rarely receive questions about their artworks who would love someone to engage with them as well. Of course do not do this in a 'pity' sense – you have to genuinely find something that 'touches your heart' and if the artist seems to not get much curiosity in regards to their art, you can go ahead and try to express your curiosity to them. Keep posting whatever you like, but if you engage with others, you may find someone engaging with you without even expecting it, and that is fun.

(I think society should practice finding genuine value in things they like even if they see nobody has touched it. Not pity, but removing the "does anyone else like this? If I see no one else liking this, it must be a bad thing to like, so I won't engage" attitude. Some of my favourite artwork has maybe 5 visible 'bookmarks/favorites' on an art-focused website.)

[syoounn]

•A little scenario saying they are handsome (part 2)

•Characters: Fyodor, Nikolai, Poe

(Part 1)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Fyodor

You were quietly staring and admiring Fyodor's appearance as he made eye contact with you as it surprise you.

"Is something the matter?" He lifts an eyebrow, taking off his coat and putting it onto the coat peg. "You're gazing at me quite odd."

"Nothing.." you said shyly.

As usual, Fyodor sees through you rather easily. He approaches you with light, silent steps and cups your face in his hands, scrutinizing you intently with those violet eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Mhm.. you're just handsome.."

He huffs out a sound that's a near to a laugh, a rare sight. His eyes, however, remain calm and serious as ever, and they seem to be inspecting you as if you were a book. Slowly, Fyodor leans forward until the tips of your noses are nearly touching, and his voice is a mere whisper when he speaks again. "What are you up to, my dear?"

"Im not up to anything..." you said.

His eyes glint with amusement, and he allows himself a mischievous smirk. Fyodor's thumb gently caresses your cheekbone, and he speaks in a low voice. "I know you better than you know yourself, my dear. That's not very convincing, is it?"

As if wanting to test his own theory, Fyodor's left hand now sneaks around your neck until his fingertips skim over your skin. A shiver makes its way down your spine at the gesture, the faintest of touches, yet full of intention. He chuckles. "Ah. See? I know you are far better. Your body betrays you, my love."

"And now you blush." His eyes gleam in triumph. Fyodor's thumb brushes over your cheek again before he brings his face close to your ear, and his breath is hot on your skin. "You know I always see through you, no matter how elaborate your schemes. After all, you are mine."

It's so endearing how you are trying to hold on to your secret. Without warning, he suddenly pushes you against the nearest wall, the hand around you neck keeping you caged in place as he presses his body against yours, and his eyes glint with a mixture of teasing and hunger.

You'll have to pray for yourself tonight...

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Nikolai

“Guess what I did today~?” He exclaims excitedly.

"Dangerous stuff..?" you said.

“Of course not, my love!”

He pouts, and you can hear him being sarcastic about this as he hugs you. He rests his head on top of yours. He gives you a quick kiss on the top of your head, and he rests his chin on your head.

“I was just doing simple work for Dostoevsky…”

“A boring mission at that - I just had to disguise myself as another man’s secretary! They were so fooled, too… they thought I was this boring person, and not the great Nikolai!” He says proudly before giving you a kiss on the cheek. He spins you around to kiss your lips properly.

"Mhm... The great Nikolai is handsome after all.."

He grins as he kisses you and lifts you up in his arms. He is quite strong, so doing this isn’t a problem for him, even if you are quite tall as well. He holds you up in his arms with a gleeful look on his face.

“You think so, dove?”

He hums, He’s always been overly affectionate. He’s like a puppy if a puppy was a psychotic mass murderer.

“But, if you really think I’m handsome…”

He gently rests you against the counter, standing between your legs, holding your waist as he smiles down at you.

“How about I show you just how handsome I am~?”

He rests his hands on your hips, his hands slowly tracing circles on your body.

“A little performance, perhaps?”

He leans in and whispers into your ear, his mouth so close to your skin that you can see a sly, mischievous grin on his face.

"Performance..?" you said, confused.

“Tada! As my dove, you get a very, very special performance! One that no one has ever seen before…”

He lifts up your chin and captures your lips in a kiss. He kisses you with a feverish passion, one that makes you not question how someone as strange as him had been able to pull you.

He is always very gentle with you, even if he can be very… cruel when it comes to his other activities. But you just hope you'll enjoy his performance tonight.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Poe

Poe was currently working on the noble as you looked at him with curiosity while Karl was laid down on your lap sleeping soundly.

"Could you come closer..?" you said.

Upon being asked to come closer, Poe set down his pen and got up from the desk, walking over to you and stopping beside you, looking down at your sitting form.

“Is there anything you need, darling?” he asked a small smile across his face, his attention on you now and not on his work.

You lift up his bangs as you smile

"You're very handsome,"

He flushed a little upon hearing these words and smiles, and you called him handsome. Soon, a small embarrassed giggle left past his lips as his bangs were held up by you, revealing more of his face.

“Thank you- you’re very pretty too..” *he muttered out, leaning down a bit as to not pull your hand away as you held his bangs up with your other hand free hand to do as you pleased with it, his face was flushing a little.

Poe blushed a bit upon having his bangs lifted by you. You can see his flustered face.. it was cute.

“You are beyond beautiful. Perhaps you should model for me sometime?”

"Model?.." you said, confused.

Poe nodded, a warm smile on his face.

“Yes! To model, maybe for a book cover, for example, or to help me with some art references, I’m sure you would look amazing in whatever you did.”

Poe took a seat next to you and gently held your cheek in his hand. His gaze was filled with an immense amount of love as he smiled, gently rubbing your cheek with his thumb.

“Would you like to model for me, my love?”

That took you off guard, making you blush as you nodded shyly.

Poe practically grinned at your agreement, gently pulling your face closer as he kissed your forehead before speaking again, his tone softer.

“Do you perhaps have something in mind you would like to model? Like a dress, or something else?”

Both of you spent time discussing it..as it was the nicest and sweetest day you've had.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[st4rgzer]

MATT BUT ITS THE AUDIO I SENT U

UNREQUITED PT. 2 matt sturniolo

summary: pt 2 of unrequited love, you make some plans that take a turn for the worse

genre: PURE angst

cw: mentions of self deprecation, flirty jokes

a/n: for my lobe, @iha8you , hope you enjoy it, sorry for what happened again, fuck him!

Its been 2 months since i started distancing myself from the triplets and anything involving them, more precisely, matt.

Of course they noticed, i have more than 11 missed called from nick, not trusting my messages saying “im fine, just busy, ttyl” Im never like that, not with them at least. Today I’ve made up my mind, im going to put my silly feelings aside and hang out with my friends, its was i need, it’ll do me good, i know it will. They pick me up from my house, the drive to theirs being the most awkward thing in the world, worse than telling a server at a restaurant “you too!” In response to “enjoy your food”, yeah. No one said a word, that was the worst, its everyone expected someone to say something but no one dared to break the silence. I think I could see matt smirk in the rear view mirror, I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, did he find this amusing? We arrived home a few minutes after, which felt like an eternity. I undid my seatbelt and we all went to the front door, waiting for nick to get the keys, he fiddled with them, trying to open the door

“Whenever you want nick” Chris said sarcastically, annoyance visible in his voice, as he always did when he bickered with his brother. Eventually, he got the door open and we all got set up inside, I sat on the couch with nick next to matt and chris.

“Do y’all wanna watch a movie or…?” Nick said looking around, everyone nodded, including me, I would rather just watch a movie then have to talk. I cleared my throat and crossed my legs, getting comfortable. Nick got up after putting on a scary movie and went to get some drinks and snacks

“I’ll come help you!” Chris exclaimed, he probably just wanted to make sure no one got his pepsi, but whatever. I come to the realization me and matt are alone on the sofa, the movie is paused, we glance at eachother awkwardly, even if we never argued or said anything about how i felt, we both knew something was up, he was the first one to break the silence.

“Hey you can talk to me you know, you act like you love me or something” he laughed off, my stomach dropped, did he know? No, that’s impossible. I laughed along.

“No I’ve just, just been really busy and-“ i get cut off. “C’mon don’t tell me that bullshit, I know you haven’t been THAT busy to hang out with your favorite friends” he said rolling his eyes, he hit my shoulder playfully. He touched my shoulder. I looked down, trying to find a better excuse, or hoping that he’d just let it slide.

“Well, I’m just reall-” saved by the bell. “LOVEBIRDSSS got the popcorn, drinks, and ready for another hour of edward scissorhands” Nick said placing the popcorn onto the table, crossing his legs over the couch, and grabbing the remote. I let out a sigh of relief, matt looked over at me and huffed, im sure he’ll forget. Chris put his feet over matt’s lap and sipped his soda.

After the movie ended, it was fenomenal as always by the way, we got to talking, great.

“So y/n, what have you been up to? We really haven’t seen you at all these months” Chris spoke between handfuls of popcorn. Nick nodded along

“Well i-“ I glanced over at matt, he was looking at me, of course he would, im speaking, what am i even saying? “I’ve had a heavy month of recording and editing videos, im in the middle of looking for a new editor, AND im getting my drivers license, so yeah, pretty bus- occupied…” I explained to them, half of that was true, i WAS looking for a new editor, just not actively doing so, and i AM getting my license, just not till January…but they bought it, which is the important part.

“Well we’ve all missed you around here” nick scooched next to me. I smiled in return.

“Yeah especially matt” Chris said suggestively, prolonging the word matt in a singsongy voice. Im sure he didn’t mean it that way, was he mocking me?. Matt just rolled his eyes.

“Sure, well im not the one who’s in love with me” he smirked at me, I scoffed, again? Really? Its like everyone is in on a big inside joke but me, and i hate it.

Nick notices my discomfort and diverts the attention from me.

“Hey how about we call Alanha and Madi and we go to Mcdonalds or something” he suggested. “Yeah that sounds great!” I responded, the other two agreed in unison, and we left the previous subject alone, thank god.

As we pulled up to Alanha’s house, Madi and her went out of the door and got into the backseat next to me and Nick, we squeezed in all we could, we laughed about it a bit, it was a relief to see them really, Madi was the only one, along with some other gfs, that knew about it.

“Y/n! Its so good to see you, its been forever” Alanha side hugged me, with difficulty in the cramped car.

“Yeah i know, its good to see you guys too” I smiled at both of them, the car ride to the Mcdonalds drive thru was short, thankfully. Matt lowered the music as the speaker took our order, everyone whispering theirs to him, he remembered my order. We pulled into the parking lot, sorting out all the food.

We decided to eat out in the car park, it was dark so there was no one there, so it was quiet and peacful, we were eating our food and making jokes, Matt kept on slipping little flirty remarks but I ignored them, after all, he was just making fun of me.

“Fuck arent you guys cold?” Madi shivered, rubbing her hands together, it was chilly but we all had at least a hoodie on.

“Here, im warm from all the food” Matt took off his hoodie. He handed it over to her. She put it on. “oh” i thought.

All the sounds around me kind of tuned down, furrowing my eyebrows and snapping myself out of my state, my breathing got a little heavier, i shook my head. Why was a being so dramatic? For the love of god, he just gave her his hoodie, its not like he declared his undying love for her or something, either was it still hurt a little, im lying, it hurt a lot. Madi put her hands in the pocket of Matt’s black ransom hoodie, she smiled and the conversation carried on, but I wasn’t paying attention

“Y/n? Y/n are you theree?” Nick waved a hand in front of my face.

“Sorry I just zoned out there for a sec” I laughed somehow, I didn’t know if it was really visible in my face how upset I was.

“Oh im sorry did you want my hoodie” Matt joked, everyone else laughed along, it was an innocent little joke for them, i get it. I bit the inside of my cheek, he took my feelings as a hilarious thing, as if I was the kings jester. I breathed in, trying not to let the stinging feeling of tears in my eyes win over, I didn’t wanna be the one to say they wanted to go home, so i just waited, not participating in the conversation, but laughing and nodding along at the right times to not raise any suspicions, eventually, Alanha said she had to be up early in the morning, if we could go home, so we did.

“Guys just drop me off here” I sighed, getting out of the car, waving little goodbyes to all of them. Another successful night, drained, the only comfort being my bed and being enveloped by my fluffy sheets. Another night wondering if there’s something wrong with me, and another night realizing once again that hope is, indeed, a dangerous thing for someone like me to have.

a/n: everyone say “fuck you danny!” 🙂🙂 @iha8you

should i do a taglist or something?😭 tell me if u dont wanna be on this

@dwntwn-strnlo @oneirophobic @20nugs @mettsturniolo @iha8you @lvrsparadise @gabbylovesreading

[ceasarslegion]

My roommate and I have been sitting here discussing coffee creamer guy for the last 10 minutes. Given the average limit for human stomach capacity is between 2-4L, coffee creamer has a high density, and planes famously tend to make people a bit nauseous, I said 'you just know that guy is throwing up later'. My roommate says that for the average person, this may be likely, but they think they could do it, and if this guy did it, maybe he had reason to believe he could, too. It has sparked a mild debate and they said they want to know if you think you could do it too.

Anyway thanks for sharing because our household is now plagued with thinking about that guy and it has caused irreparable damage to the collective psyche.

Hi! Im glad i caused a calamity sharing a work story that will plague me until the day i die

Allow me to recite how this moment went for me, just for all of your amusement.

Picture me. I'm tired. It's the end of my shift on the second last day of my work week, and I'm stationed on the position everybody hates whether they are officer or passenger: the guy who picks people at random. This sucks.

The next guy who walks in has one bag, nobody is with him, he looks nice. Yay! I won't get yelled at! Come with me sir, come come! I'll get you past that line, i just need to rifle through your bag real quick okay :))

He's not rude. He's friendly. We talk about our days and i go through the pockets of his backpack top down, and I find a 2L bottle of delight brand caramel machiatto flavored coffee creamer. Oh no! Sorry sir, that's way too big to go :(( the good news is that you can still give it to like a family member or friend outside of the checkpoint if you dont want to get rid of it

He goes "oh its fine, that's my bad" and i let him consider it as i get my hands back in there. I hear a popping noise. I look back up. He has popped the lid and is now throwing his head back and drinking it like a squeeze bottle of gatorade after a hard workout. This man is suckling caramel machiatto flavored creamer like a newborn calf that owns Beck's Odelay on vinyl. He is not stopping. I can't look away. I... I guess that's allowed. I am vaguely upset and making a face one can best describe as ":/"

I finish his bag. He finishes the creamer. He looks a little pale. He asks where the garbage is. I scan his boarding pass and point to the garbage and stutter out "uh... line number 3 when you're done."

He says thanks, grabs his stuff and goes. My supervisor jumpscares me and asks if I want to sit on x-ray for a bit. I'm off in half an hour. I watched that guy drink coffee creamer for 8 minutes. Sure, yeah. I'll do x-ray. Whatever.

To answer your question no, i have IBS. I would violently shit myself for hours at a time if i tried to attempt this. I'm sure he's having a great plane ride as we speak now that his arteries no longer exist

[quigzahhutt]

um hey hi hello how are you doing on this fine day my dude (struggling how to type normally bc i JUST woke up from a nap and i should really be restrained from my phone)

so um i wanted to ask for a trick or treat if you wouldn't mind!

BUT i did also want to give you a little treat myself if i may :)

so when you reblogged and put in the tags that your favourite fic is 'please turn those headlights around' but it's your least popular and obviously i had to RUN to read it and i unfortunately cannot say anything remotely intelligent in my 'still in bed' state of mind but im literally sobbing while typing this. i fear you have made a lump in my throat that will never go away and every time i try and swallow i'll feel it as a constant reminder of sorts of the devastating beauty that is your writing. like everything abt it. as of rn it feels like its been FOREVER since the logan news dropped (its been like 2 months) but reading this made me go right back to that very day purely bc of how well you captured the emotions. and the way logan was feeling SO MUCH and you still managed to fit it in all there like what can't you do bro???? like ur literally so cool omg. and. and. and the way logan's mind looked so empty but at the same time so much was going on and just yeah like i cant really describe it properly but YEAH. and also first time switching, that's so scary but you still managed to subtly weave it so beautifully in this narrative with the little awkwardness and apprehension with alex, they were so raw and vulnerable and honest with eo emotionally and physically in this SOB im gonna start crying again. AND the way the sex in the smut bit, it like basically represented, it wasnt just sex, it was also like a little symbol of like his ability???? and his own attitudes towards things in his life (his racing)???? like how when it said smth like 'gathering more data to improve his performance, ensuring a chance at a better finish.' or how he gets 'one track minded'. it's just. alot. yeah. ur like so super duper smart bro. yeah this piece of writing is like fucking poetry man i was literally reading a poem please hang it in the louvre and everything. never die pls and thanks. BYE sorry that was so long SOB

i hope you have a lovely day/night 💕

oh my word, FIRST OF ALL. THANK YOU? this inspired me to go reread it and it reminded me just how proud I am of that fic so THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the kind words on it. it's to this day one of my favorite pieces of work I've done ever and it has always bummed me out that it's my second least popular fic bcuz it's very dear to me, so hearing you say all this is just like. very very validating THANK YOU!!

because you have been so kind, you get an extra long and extra sweet treat from the 3rd part of Outgoing call! (which I will hopefully have finished . Soon) :)

Once he finally drags himself from bed and freshens up, Logan is already giving him an amused smile from the couch, the same one he would always give Alex when he was doing something unabashedly stupid, a slip of the fine-tuned and smug identity that Logan so carefully constructed. “What,” Alex deadpans, rounding the corner and trudging his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge and staring at the flickering innards like it'll magically give him all the answers to life. “What, I don't get a good morning?” Logan snarks, and Alex can hear the suppressed laugh in his voice. Alex has to fight with himself to keep a neutral face as he turns around, mindful not to let all his sickly sweet feelings translate into his expression. “What, will you want a kiss, too?” Alex retorts, pouring himself a glass of orange juice (Florida grown, the bottle proudly declares), his joints still stiff and not quite awake yet. Logan falls unusually quiet. He had been the one to start this whole interaction, and yet now he's freezing up. Alex chances a look at him, and finds Logan chewing the silky insides of his bottom lip, his eyes trained intensely on the juice and the way it sluices around the glass as Alex takes a calculated sip. There's a flush on his cheeks, and he finally forces his eyes away once he notices how purposeful Alex is being.

ahhh again thank you so much it actually means the world to me to hear such kind words :((❤️

send me a trick or treat and I'll surprise you with a trick or a treat ;)

[gaiathemexicanbeauty]

new neighbor | joel miller x reader (part 2)

parts: 1 2 3

warnings: none! slight suggestive stuff (its his arms. you look at his arms and trust me, i looked at his arms. ur gonna wanna look at his arms.)

word count: 1.5k

still pre-outbreak! :D this part isn’t THAT necessary but it builds tension for “WHEN ARE THEY GONNA MEET” 

i worked on this for a week (it was a little crazy in a good way) and as long as it is, i am still kind of proud of it! we’ll see if i keep writing for joel in the future (i am hyperfixating on the last of us so hard right now bc im also playing the game)

but for now, i hope you like how this turned out and happy reading! don’t forget to check out my ask box even if its just to chat! :D

joel shuts the door to his truck before locking it, tossing the keys only an inch in the air and catching them in his open palm. he heads for the door, looking up for a second then doing a double take. there they were, the neighbor sarah had been so adamant for him to meet. they had their hands on their hips, back turned to him as they faced a box inside the van. slightly amused (and nosey like his daughter), he leaned against the truck to watch what was about to unfold.

you stare down the box in front of you, squinting at it partly because of the sun and partly out of trying to convince an inanimate object to suddenly grow lighter. this was the last of it’s kind, every other box was light enough for you to knock out and start unpacking; that and the repairman would come by to fix your a.c. with no one to help, though, you didn’t know how to get this box out of here: technically (and you about this for a bit), there was an able-bodied man just across the street and sarah had confirmed that with the scolding she had received the day before. but imagine that, you thought to yourself, he doesn’t even know your first name and you’re already asking for help. so going it alone it is. you step forward, hands on either side of the box to pull it to the edge of the van’s opening. wrapping your arms around it, you take a deep breath and start to take a step back; bad idea. you hadn’t anticipated the weight, stumbling backwards with a short gasp as you prepare to meet concrete. “woah, woah, i got it.”

the weight in your arms is still there, leaving you with your knees bent in an attempt to keep yourself upright. “we’ll carry it over to the door together and i’ll take it the rest of the way. that sound alright?” the slightly strained voice across from you says, making you look up. oh. you meet his dark eyes and nod wordlessly as you tighten your hold on the box. “watch your feet.” he says, taking steps backward to your front door. you try to take in your surroundings like he says but you can’t take your eyes off his arms; does that t-shirt fit him like that all the time or only on the rare chances that he flexes? he suddenly takes the box out of your arms, turning to drop the box onto the floor as gently as possible. “um, thanks. thank you.” you say, clearing your throat as you tear your eyes away from the floor to look him in the eye. it’s quiet between you two; not much else left to say. “um, my name’s joel. i live right over there just across the street.” he outstretches his hand for you to shake and you take it a little too quickly. oh wow. his grip is firm and you can feel the callouses there before he pulls away, leaving your hand to hang in the air uselessly in the air for a few seconds. “i’m y/n. i had a feeling that was you the other day. i met-” “my daughter. yeah, sorry about her, she’s just...excitable is all.” joel says with quiet sigh but you can see the hint of a smile on his face, the flash of affection in his eyes.

“oh she’s no trouble. in fact, i let her know she can come over whenever she likes, but there is work waiting to be done here.” you say with a grin, taking a few steps back to sit on the box joel had just put down; “i’d offer you a seat but i barely have one myself.” you wince. “well, if it’s fine by you, you can come over to my place. sarah’s at school and my brother’s off to work.” “oh, i don’t want to be a bother.” you say as you start to stand: in no time at all, you’re sitting in joel’s kitchen with the pleasant feeling of a.c.

joel chuckles at the sigh of relief you let out when you drop onto a chair conveniently placed next to the air conditioning. “that whole fucking house is an OVEN, good god...” you murmur as you let the cool air hit your face. “now, i’d volunteer to fix it for you, but i don’t think i’d last a damn minute in there without sweating like a pig.” joel says, offering you a beer which you gladly take; without hesitation, you angle the edge of the metal top against the table before slamming your fist down onto the table onto the bottle’s head until the bottle makes a fizzing sound that signals you that it’s open. you smile in satisfaction at the hissing sound it makes before realizing what you did, giving joel a ‘sorry’ look. “oh, don’t act all hurt about it. lord knows how many times me and tommy’ve done that.” he says as he unscrews the metal top with little effort. the two of you sit in comfortable silence, the only sound being the whir of the a.c. or the sound of the glass hitting the table. joel was surprised at himself, not only for really taking the time to walk over to you, but to invite you into his house so soon? tommy would probably get a laugh out of that.

“so what brings you to austin? job?” “oh, no, i’m studying at UT. didn’t really get the chance when i was younger, so no time like the present, huh?” you say, taking a long swig of your drink. “that’s mighty admirable. i...was having sarah around my prime college time, can’t say i wouldn’t do it all over again.” joel says, finger playing with the peeling label on his beer. he looks up when you shrug, meeting your eyes as you rest your chin on your palm. “being a father is admirable. i’m sure she looks up to you.” joel scoffs at that but smiles nonetheless, taking a sip from his drink. it’s strange to him how natural this all feels to him, even the silence is welcome despite how little the two of you know one another. “um, what about you? you an austin native?” “born and raised.” “perfect.” you say with much more enthusiasm than before, both of you sitting a little bit taller now. “i’ve been eating ham sandwiches and maruchan for the past week. my fridge and things like that don’t come for 2 more days so i need some recommendations. got any places i could never go wrong with?” you laugh when joel whistles and sits back, growing visibly more comfortable. “where to begin.” he starts, smiling at the way you shrug and take a sip of your drink.

sarah waves to tommy as he drives off, letting herself into the house. she’s about to announce her arrival before she hears sudden laughter from the kitchen; that didn’t sound like joel. she walks over to the kitchen doorframe, peeking her head in as discreetly as possible. what a scene, indeed. your chair was next to joel’s now, your head tipped back in laughter and your hand on joel’s arm. sarah bit her lip to hide the smile on her face at the (somewhat unusual) sight of a smile on her dad’s lips; of course, his arms remained crossed against his chest. they make hushed conversation, a few sarcastic “oh, really?”s and “yeah?”s leaving them as they talk about something only they know. sarah finally raps her knuckle on the doorframe, making you and joel jump a bit. “christ, um, hey, kiddo. didn’t hear you come in.” joel says after clearing his throat. “sorry. didn’t want to interrupt anything.” sarah says with a shrug as she drops her backpack on one of the empty chairs; she pretended not to notice the way you were trying to distance yourself from joel. “that’s alright. i’ve overstayed my welcome anyhow.” the two of you stand together, joel saying a quick “don’t you worry, i’ll get that” when you try to clear the bottles from the table. “well, i’ll be off then. you guys have a good night and i’ll see you next week, joel.” you say, smiling at the two of them before making your way out of the house.

joel freezes at your last comment as sarah looks at her dad with a growing grin. “what’s next week?” joel drops the bottles into the trash, his back turned to sarah. “none of your business.” “oh, joel. see you next week, JOEL.” sarah says in an exaggerated flirty tone, intertwining her fingers together and propping her chin on her hands. “stop it.” he grumbles but can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips. “you’re getting soft, old man. doesn’t look good on you.” sarah jokes to which joel simply scoffs. she laughs as she makes her way towards the living room, leaving her dad in the kitchen with his thoughts. he looks up for a second, looking out the kitchen window that lets him see your yard. a small smile tugs at his lips when he sees the lights in the house go out before he finally walks towards the living room.

MY HANDS ARE SO SWEATY FROM TYPING THIS SO FAST WOOOAHHHH

im patting myself on the back bc i managed to write this while simultaneously doing english homework (college is a pain in the butt) so i hope that you all enjoy this! :D

would yall want to see a part 3 to this? let me know in the replies! it would probably be the date to be honest and maybe a little smooch ;D

BUT FOR NOW i hope you all have a good rest of your day/night/afternoon and stay safe! <33

LOVELIES <3 (taglist): @lokilover476 @littleshadow17 @avengersfan25​ @3zae-zae3 @randomisart​ 

[cielles-random-vault]

vamp ghost brainrot do you see my vision

DO YOU SEE MY VISION?!?!?!?!?!

ok this is v random but apparently im on a creative spree so lets enjoy it while it lastssss

context: the idea came from when i noticed ghost had lil fangs on his mask and and and

reader is tf141's medic/nurse idk how you call it but you get it also shoutout to @unabashedcroissanttreefan (PHEROMONE IS BACKK) and @cluelylikesporn mwah

also reader is not white AND a vampire. boom. not black either but i like the concept of poc/mixed vampires (and poc vampires would look so cool) (i am mixed and id look so cool as an autistic soon-to-be-adult teen vampire and you cant tell me otherwise.)

wc: 1049

also trigger warning dislocation and blood (duh there's vampirism in this fic what did you expect /lh)

also maybe ooc ghost idrk

pt 2 in the making!

"okay, lets see... who do we have next.." you said as your checked your medical files. "lieutenant riley?" (you raise an eyebrow) "strange. he never came before" you thought out loud, but you shrugged it off. "you can come in!"

"hello, y/n" ghost greeted you politely as he sat in front of you. "i hope my team hasn't been of too much trouble"

"don't worry about them!" you smile softly, "lets talk about you, for once! what brings you there? you usually never come to check ups, which i have to say isnt very professional!!" you scold him lightly, "but im glad you seem safe and well!"

ghost chuckled softly before replying: " i came here because i have been suffering from awful migraines, and i have no idea where they can possibly come from, and so i wanted to ask you if you could check? and maybe give me a stronger dose of painkillers so that i won't need to bother you every week? also, i noticed i have been having more trouble falling asleep, it's as if i found myself more... active in the nighttime, i would say?"

"mhm.. this sure is strange, but dont worry!" you reply with an assured smile. "do you have some spare time so i can do your checkup now, or do you wish to book another appointment?"

"i would like to do it now, if you don't mind"

"okay, no problem!" you smile as you put on a surgery mask, "lay down on this chair and lift up your mask just above your mouth, please! ill start off with examinating your teeth."

ghost did as you asked him to, and you started your inspection; what you saw surely was weird.

"this is strange..." you muttered to yourself, "can you please bite into this?" you asked him as you handed him a plaster mold. "it looks like your fangs... have overgrown."

"what??" ghost asked, confused. "with all due respect, you must be kidding me."

"im not" you reply, showing him the mold he bit in. "see? its like, the bite mark is... sharper than a usual one would be"

"and... do you happen to have a reason to that?" ghost starts to panic, "or even a remedy?"

"i think... i might have an idea, but don't freak out, okay?" (he nods unsurely) "you might want to sit down for this one. okay so... there have been rumors - and i insist on the word 'rumor' - of a disease that turns people into vampires, and-"

"are you telling me i'm one of those freaks?!?" ghost hurried, panicked.

"that's... insensitive to us.." you mutter to yourself, "but nevermind. no, there is no cure, you just learn to live with it.

"thats..." he thought out loud, "wait did you say us? are you a vampire too?"

"duh, just because im not white doesn't mean i cant be a vampire thats- very cliché." you reply, slightly offended. "but yes, i am."

"but- how do you even sleep at night? how do you even feed yourself ? and-" ghost's mind raced with questions.

"let me guess, you're assuming all vampires drink blood to survive, aren't you?" (he nods, slightly ashamed, but you smiled, amused at his panic) "don't worry, we aren't all like that. i'd be delighted to teach you there are a whole lot of different types of vampires! for example, i am an empathic one! which means i tend to be more well... empathic."

"and how does one know what type of vampire one is?" ghost asked, seeming childhishly interested to the point it almost looked endearing.

"thats exactly what im coming to!" you reply with a soft smile, before coming back a few moments later with a little pouch of blood. "what does this make you feel?"

"this looks delicious" he replies as his eyes lit up, "can i have a taste?"

"well then," you chuckled, "it's all settled! you're a blood drinker vampire!"

"oh." the worries then came back in his voice, "does that mean i have to..." (he gulps) "kill people to drink their blood?"

"well, technically speaking, if we were in a typical eldritch story, you would have to. but, hopefully for the writer we're not, and its a good thing im a medic, so i have plenty of those little pouches!"

ghost sighed in relief, but then panic peaked again.

"do you think we should tell others? like, price and soap?" ghost asked worried.

"no. not for now, at least." you thought for a moment, and added: "but, one thing is sure, if we dont want anybody to find out you have to do whatever it takes to not get deployed,or else... "

"we're fucked, balls deep." ghost completed your sentence. "but how? price won't allow me to stay at the base unless i get injured."

"that's exactly my point!" you say as your eyes glimmer mischievously, "but im not sure you will like the idea.."

"whatever it takes for people not to notice.." he sighs.

"good!" you reply with a smile, "please lay down on this chair,just so youre warned its gonna be a little... painful."

"what the fuck- you sprained my fucking ankle???" ghost hurried, grumbling in pain.

"what?? you wanted a reason to not get deployed, didnt you? you should thank me" you chuckled as you noticed him wincing in pain. "anyway, its time for price's meeting, take those to help you walk, and you let me do the talking to price, okay?"

ghost nodded as you both headed to the briefing room, one of his arm around your shoulder to help him walk, where price and the rest of the task force were already waiting for you.

"sorry we're late, captain!" you hurried as you and ghost entered the room.

"its fine" price replied, raising an eyebrow, "what happened to you, Lieutenant?"

"we were practicing close fighting and he accidentally sprained his ankle, sir" you reply with an assured smile.

"is that so?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, "then why didnt i see both your names in the record?"

"because we forgot, and there was nobody on the wait list, sir" you reply. "but i promise it wont happen again."

"good" price sighed, "then i suppose i have no choice but to make gaz replace you, ghost."

is all for part one i feel like its already too long help

hope you enjoyed, if you dont reblog ill snatch your toenails

[divinequo]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I WATCHED THE SEASON 2 EPISODE 6 TRAILER AND IM SO FUCKING PSYCHED I HAVE YO RANT ONG OMG OMG OMG OMG IT LOOS INCREDIBLE

⁉️⁉️‼️‼️‼️WARNING THIS HAS SPOILERS PLUS SCREENSHOTS FROM THE TRAILER SO LIKE UH SCROLL AND GO AWAY IF YOU WANNA REMAIN UNSPOILED YES YES MM MM YES⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

OK FIRST OFF HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I GOTTA RANT ABOUT THIS FIRST SINCE IT'LL PROBABLY TAKE THE LONGEST BUT WE HAVE BEEN THEORIZING ABOUT THIS GUY FOR YEARS.

YEAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRSSSSS!!! AND NOW ITS BEEN CONFIRMED HE'S SOME SORT OF ANTAGONIST IT LOOKS LIKE? WHICH HOLY SHIT OMG IM SO SIKED I LOVE HIM ALREADY HES THE BEST VILLAIN EVER ONG (I know the episode isn't even out yet let alone a English version but let me be delusional I'm happy and excited) but anyway AAAAAH HE LOOKS SO ORDINARY YET SO MENACING???!? from blending in with the background characters in episodes and appearing to be spying on Dee in his qna, as well as his wanted posters, we will FINALLY GET SOME SORT OF INFORMATION AND CHARACTER INTRODUCTION!!! (May I add he strikes a strange resemblance to Gustav? No? Just my opinion? Ok) OMG AND I JUST REALIZED HIM FLIPPING THE KEYS?? WAIT WAIT HEAVY SAID TO VICTORIA IN SEASON ONE HIW HE LOST HIS KEYS AGAIN, AND THATS ABSOLUTELY THEIR HOUSE KEYS YOU CANT CONVINCE ME OTHER WISE, IT LITERALLY COMES FULL CIRCLE, NOT MENTION LIKE, BRO WHY DOES HE WANT THEM TO NOT GO HOME? DOES HE WANT THEM AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS? IS HE FORCING THEM TO TALK TO HIM? OR DID THEY FIND HIM AND NOW HES MONOLUAGING???? OMFG IDK, ONE THINGS FOR SURE IS HE IS DOING SOMETHING NEFARIOUS TO THIS ABANDONED AMUSEMENT PARK, TBATS WHY HES ON THE WANTED POSTERS INNLIFS INTRODUCTIONNEPISODE HOLYYY FUUUUCKKKKK GUYS I LOVE HIM, HES MY NEW FAVORITE VILLAIN, I really hope this doesn't age like milk me saying I love his little character *sweats nervously*

And can we just TALK and take a moment to ADMIRE the artwork of the backgrounds and main surrounding pieces?? LOOK AT THIS!!

And yk the metal families profile picture on YouTube? Yk... The clunky old sign no one cares about?

FUCKING LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK

IT WAS PLANNED ALL ALONG GGGG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGEXDCRFVFY UGC YFDXYREXYRDXTDDXTD STD FDFH THEIR PROFILE PICTURE IS LITERALLY, GENUINELY FROM THIS EPISODE, it is NOT coincidental, THIS MADE ME LOVE IT ALL THE MORE!! it feels so special now knowing this knowledge and though this part isn't THAT important i still had to mention the shock I got from seeing it in the trailer :))

Last thing I wanted to mention is these two lovely little gumdrops!!!!!!!

ommmgggg THE SHIPPING BAIT ABOUT TO HIT HAAARRRDDD i paused on like a smear frame, basically their hiding from the security guard because it's night time and they snuck in!! Omggg do you guys even realize what this MEANS????!!!!?!?!?! this means we'll also get maybe a few scenes if our and Dee together ALONE, idk what is up with my brain but I never really shipped them that much or cared to ship for them until seeing THIS, maybe I'm just really pathetic in my own love life but the way lif is holding onto Dee (for protection and to hide yk) is SENDING me, it is cute, so special and precious, and I need them to start dating, I am officially their number one shipper now (omfg if they become canon in this I will cry myself to sleep istg I'll be so happy knowing I can rest over these cartoon lovers getting together XP)

Oh oh and what do y'all think heavy could be doing while we get some life and Dee scenes? Or while this scene specifically is happening?? My guess is they caught sight of the "glasses kid" and heavy volunteered to go follow after him in suspicion, omg I can't even fathom getting so much new heavy screen time, he's only my all time favorite character, aaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

That's pretty much it, I give my upmost respect and admiration to DiMA, Alina, and every single voice actor, artist, animator, inspirations, etc of this entire show, they all deserve the world and a medal for giving us this spectacular series, that upon now seeing this trailer has made my metal family hyperfixation AWOKE deeply and fiercely

I couldn't find a truly perfect reaction image to seeing this new metal family trailer, so here's this one I drew, have a lovely day/night everyone♡

[tzuyuscloud]

Virtual Reality- (smau)

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

02. Welcome to Tokki

cw// mention of murder

Your last week at home flew by fast as you anticipated your new life ahead of you. Still you stayed awake some nights questioning if it was just a huge scam because surely no one can become a professional esports player this easily right?

Dozing off on the plane, your body was overflowing with emotion, sad because you were leaving your parents and home for the first time, happy because you were able to live your dream of becoming an esports player, but then nervous and scared because what if it was all fake and then you get to the condo and they murder you.

But it was totally real though…right? You shook your head of all the thoughts and just tried focusing on the fact that you were going to be landing in 2 hours, leaving you more excited than when you boarded the plane.

-

It took you 4 exhausting hours to find your luggage when you got off the plane, you were left mentally drained, starved and thirsty as you frantically searched for Haseul, who said she would pick you up.

‘Minji?!?’ you thought to yourself as you slowly lost your mind in the busy airport. ‘Out of all people?!?’ let’s be honest you were only freaking out about your first encounter with the members being Minji because she was freaking hot.

While you were trying to extinguish the flames in your brain, you heard a deep voice from behind you, making you jump higher than when you play Roblox horror games.

“Holy crap!” you gasped while clutching your chest. Minji just stared at you with an amused smile as you made eye contact with the brunette Korean girl. As dramatic as you were, your life was feeling like a cliche kdrama as you felt the sunlight rays hit only the two of you as you stared at her. That poor girl.

“ahem, um well we should get going before it gets too dark, I don’t like driving at night.” Minji mumbled as she took hold of your suitcase leaving you with just the carry on bag.

The drive to the condo was silent and awkward as you tried to contain yourself from staring at the woman who just wanted to get home and probably escape from you. Minji was the first one to break the silence, “was the flight comfortable?” she asked, as she switched to driving with one hand while the other rested on the gear shift.

“yeah surprisingly it was relaxing” you smiled earning a smile back.

“thats good, its a long flight so im glad it was comfortable for you.” Minji made more conversation that helped break the ice between the two of you before you.

Arriving at the condo, she helped you bring everything in. Your jaw was on the floor as you saw how huge the place was. “Let me give you a quick tour” she winked. ‘Did she just wink or am I delusion?’ you thought.

You followed the leader as she trailed around the place, “this is the gaming room where we will all spend majority of our time practicing and streaming. We have to stream 80 hours a month and if you don’t make it by the end end of the month, then Haseul will deduct your paycheck.” Minji scratched her neck.

“has it happened to you before?” you asked with a hint of fear.

“no but it has happened to Hanni and she was asking Yeojin unnie for food money nearly everyday because she didn’t have enough.” Minji laughed. You could just image the short Vietnamese girl trailing around her unnie asking for food money.

“That’s scary” you shivered.

“Just stream, you’ll be fine” Minji said trying to ease your concerns. “The next two rooms are Haerin and Hyein’s room, they are our little Tokki trainee’s. They are actually like our little siblings, but they will stay here sometimes so these are their bedrooms.” Minji pointed to the cute decorated doors.

Halfway through the tour you realized that no one was home, “Where is everyone?”

“oh, they had a photoshoot for a brand collaboration, I did my part this morning so I have the house to myself, well semi” she laughed. Finally she brought you to your room after showing the bathrooms and other bedrooms, and it was decorated nicely with all of the items you told Haseul you enjoyed.

“oh my gosh, this is amazing!” your eyes were about to fall out of your head.

Minji stood behind you smiling at your reaction before clearing her throat, “well I’ll let you settle in and unpack, the girls should be back in a few minutes. We can do introductions later tonight” She smiled at you. Now you knew why her fan base when stupid crazy over her smile and called her ‘oppa.’ It was truly addicting.

“okay” you replied.

As she was about to leave she opened the door again, “oh and welcome to Tokki, I hope you enjoy it here” she smiled again this tome showing her pretty white pearls. Causing you to get butterflies. Getting butterflies within three hours of being with her, well done.

Summary: You were scouted to be on a pro esports team when you started to find yourself falling for the leader, Minji as well as Hanni. Leaving you in difficult situations that eventually effect your performances. As Minji starts being harder on you, you can’t help but lean on Hanni for support, but deep down you wonder if any of them feel the same way you feel for them.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

Previous | masterlist | Next

@yyeonmis @slowlyturninggay291 @haerout @dmndtears

Tags

[fatuismooches]

FUCK I TOTALLY FORGOT TO SEND YOU AN ASK ABOUT THE FIC... i just got hit full force but like 89831 different fucking projects all at once MY BAD POOKIE BUT UGHHHHHHH oh my god.... part 2??? yes.. all of it is soooo YESS

YESS you visualized everything what you've been talking about how reader would react when they first wake up after centuries and honestly hella realistic EVEN THOUGH I JUST WANNA HOLD READER AND KISS THEIR FOREHEAD 😭😭😭

reader interacting with the segments has my HEARTTT oh my god.. especially omega.. he's SUCH A DEVIOUS MOTHERFUCKEGUJK,,, also reader naming the segments UGHHH i adore that idea so much pleaseee ,, i love how the segments who didn't give a shit suddenly changed their minds when reader said they wanna give them names... THE SWITCH UP AND THE IMMEDIATE DENIAL...

READER MEETING BABY ZANDY ,,, FUCKINGG hell got me sooo soft i wanna hold baby zandy and treat him soo nicely ����🥹

ALSO YESS omgg,,, this part has me sooo fucking soft like reader making friends??? with the other harbingers??? i love it... omg they'd be such good besties with columbina,, i think pantalone helps reader adjust to present time as well, especially with it comes with money or the economy (if you ever ask him about it)

but oh.... to top it all off nicely, you gotta sneak in some subtle angst!!! smh... (im so proud of you tho!! like yasss sis feed me sad shit >:333) poor scara and reader :( i think they would've gotten along if reader wasn't dottore's lover n' scara wasn't dottore's experiment ,,,

ALL IN ALL. fuck you pookie im not excited for the next two parts (im kidding I AM IM JUST... NOT READY... pleas epost it next year so i'll be ready enough thank you /jjj) NO SERIOUSLY THIS TIME,, THIS WAS SOOO GOOOD and i love it so much, really popped off honestly (evil laughs because it's dottore)... like im soo happy to see how much you've grown esp thru writing !!!

have a good day pookie, im going back to my grave where i died for the next few days 💗💗

ALSO I WAS GONNA SEND IN ANOTHER DOTTORE IDEA but i fucking forgot again. FUCKS SAKE i hate not writing shit down...

POOKS DONT EVEN WORRY!! Just make sure to take care of yourself ok?? School can really be an ass i understand-

BUT OMG GRENFRG AHHH YOU'RE MAKING ME SMILE TOO MUCH POOKIE AHHWQ I'm so happy you liked it 🥺 BUT NGL I WANNA GIVE READER THE BIGGEST HUG TOO 😭 i put them through too much don't i 😭 dw they will be getting Dottore comfort next chapter!!

Bro i love writing Omega as a devious mf so much 😭 IM SO GLAD U LIKED THAT PART BC I WAS GIGGLING TO MYSELF ABT HOW THEY DGAF ABT THINGS BUT THEN SUDDENLY THEYRE INTERESTED WHEN UR A PART OF IT

AND YESSSS READER MAKING FRIENDS RAHHHH that part was probably really long for a Dottore fic but. i feel like having friends is so important and fragile reader really deserve some niceness in their lives 🥺 AND OMG NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. Fragile reader would be freaking blown away from inflation. i don't know how prices were four hundred years ago but they would probably be shocked to their core when they see how much expensive things are now?? imagine fragile reader trying to stop Dottore from buying things for them because of how expensive things are now, and they're having flashbacks to being a broke Akademiya student 😭 And Dottore is just honestly finding it amusing to see you freak out and beg him to save his money (it's okay, he's a Harbinger he's loaded) (as long as he's not spending it on experiments)

BUT YEAH MAYBE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE... reader and Scara could have been friends :( we'll never know... but yasss i will continue to feed you sad shit >:) hehe I CANT WAIT TO POST THE FINAL PART!! ngl the ending of the fic was like. the first thing i wrote for it because it hit me and i was like i CANT forget this. im telling you pookie its gonna be pretty juicy. BUT THANK YOU YOU'RE BEING SO KIND AHHH it's really sweet of you. thank you for being here for so long in my writing journey (and my descent into Dottore madness) ily 🥺

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 6291-6297

JADE: excuse me but did you just "laugh your ass off" at me under your breath

ROXY: ummm

ROXY: yea

ROXY: maybe

JADE: :|

JADE: i fail to see what is so amusing

ROXY: u do

ROXY: seriously?

JADE: .....

JADE: ok i guess the situation is a little funny because of this absurd folder

JADE: and the fact that i woofed at you probably didnt help either

JADE: but im not here to share a good laugh over the old ladys sense of design or her penchant for scrapbooking!

JADE: i am here to make sure that you do as youre told

ROXY: ugh

JADE: now take the file and review your assignment

ROXY: i already looked at it

ROXY: its dumb and impossible and i aint cooperating w her regardless!

JADE: yes you will

ROXY: can we change the subject

JADE: no

ROXY: arent you jakes grandma

JADE: thats what he told me when we were pen pals

JADE: but i think its more accurate to say im his alternate universe biological daughter

ROXY: oh

ROXY: that clears that up then

JADE: yes, it does :p

JADE: now take the damn folder

ROXY: so alt grannydaughter english

ROXY: whyre u part dog + evil lookin

JADE: DO NOT CALL ME THAT!!!

ROXY: what

JADE: my surname is harley not english

JADE: but you may refer to me as jade, or ma'am if you are feeling especially nervous and deferential

JADE: which as it turns out is the way you should be feeling about me, ALWAYS >:B

ROXY: LOL!!!

JADE: lol WHAT

ROXY: jade i am in no way buying that ur normally this pompous and tyrannical

ROXY: the shtick rly doesnt suit you its so obvious

ROXY: why you doin the batterhags tacky bidding anyway

ROXY: she got you under an xtra terrestrial fish spell or

JADE: SILENCE!!!!!!

ROXY: OOF!

JADE: open the file

ROXY: mrphmmphumph

JADE: OPEN IT!

ROXY: fine :(

ROXY: ok i opened it

ROXY: hey look its the same shit as before

ROXY: im supposed to make this weird knobbly spike ball appear out of nothin

JADE: yes

ROXY: ok got it

ROXY: let me give it a shot then

ROXY: ...

ROXY: welp still impossible

ROXY: what now maam??

JADE: it is not impossible

ROXY: is 2

JADE: you are the rogue of void

JADE: dont you know what that means?

ROXY: i dunno

ROXY: means i can turn invisible and stuff?

ROXY: like the blonde in that crappy superhero quartet

JADE: it means a lot more than that

JADE: your true powers are more impressive than those of anyone else in your crappy quartet

JADE: in fact i would say they are almost as cool as mine >:)

ROXY: not sure the ability to make weird spikeballs outta nothin is all that cool tbh

JADE: not just spikeballs!

JADE: imagine that your title is roughly synonymous with "one who steals nothing"

JADE: what do you think it means to be able to steal nothing?

ROXY: it means

ROXY: im like a shitty cat burglar who sucks at her job?

JADE: WRONG

JADE: it means just the opposite

JADE: it means you can steal the essence of nothingness from something

JADE: you can rob nothingness from an idea if you put your mind to it

JADE: effectively allowing you to conjure virtually anything out of thin air

ROXY: omg

ROXY: u cant be serious

ROXY: that is way too much superpower 4 a dork like me 2 have

JADE: grrrrr...

ROXY: oh no

ROXY: pls dont growl @ me dogjade

ROXY: is legit frightening :(

JADE: im sorry, but your remarks of self deprecation made me very angry

JADE: once i was even more of a dork than you

JADE: but now i am one of the most powerful beings who has ever existed

JADE: i dont want to hear any whining about what you think you cant do

JADE: you are hereby under strict orders from myself and her condescension to "clam up" and conjure that orb, do you understand?

ROXY: so im just supposed to

ROXY: sit here and think about this ugly ball

ROXY: and twiddle my fingers or somethin

ROXY: ?

JADE: you tell me

JADE: space is my racket, not void

ROXY: maybe it would help if i knew what the dang thing WAS

ROXY: how am i supposed to steal the nonexistence from a concept when the concept only exists in my mind as "ugly ball"

JADE: its called the matriorb

JADE: it is the key to resurrecting the troll race

JADE: once you create it the empress will hatch it on an uninhabited planet located beyond the reach of her cruel employer

JADE: there her people will have another chance to thrive without the ever looming threat of extinction that comes with his influence

JADE: so you see roxy, there is nothing noble about refusing to help

JADE: once an entire alien race went extinct because of a terrible monster, and you can help give them a second chance

JADE: dont you want that?

ROXY: um

ROXY: in theory sure i guess

ROXY: but ur basically asking me to bring a lot of people back to life so they can be slaves to that witch

ROXY: u want me to help make all these fresh new trolls but then just turn em over to her? like here you go have fun SNORKELBITCH MEGAHITLER

ROXY: i do not actually think i wanna do that??

JADE: yes fair enough, but heres the other thing...

JADE: if you dont i am going to kill you

ROXY: oh noes

JADE: oh yesses!

JADE: a literal plurality of yesses

JADE: seeing as you are a god tier it is very likely you will come back to life

JADE: so i can just keep killing you over and over a different way each time

JADE: maybe i will disembowel you a few times

JADE: i will not even need to use my sharp doggy teeth!

JADE: i will just snap my fingers and your delicious guts will teleport outside your body

ROXY: ew!

JADE: no way more like yum

JADE: i will just keep on killing you again and again

JADE: until you finally get tired of dying and follow your orders

ROXY: maaan

ROXY: evil jade is sucky jade

JADE: i believe you will find i am the suckiest jade there is

JADE: now we are going to be here in this cell for as long as it takes

JADE: i am not going anywhere until you try doing your voidey thing and make something appear

JADE: is that understood?

ROXY: blehhhh

ROXY: fine

ROXY: why u gotta be so awful jade

ROXY: really putting a cramp on us makin choice new friends w each other

ROXY: oh well here goes

ROXY: all twiddlin my fingers and such

ROXY: busting out tha MAJYYXXX! prayin up a storm to the holy wizardchrist they aint fake...

ROXY: alright check it

ROXY: one jank ass space egg coming up

ROXY: ABRACA HAPPEN!

ROXY: this is not a space egg

JADE: no, its not

ROXY: balls

ROXY: guess i effed up my void spell

ROXY: what is this thing

JADE: thats a perfectly generic object

ROXY: its perfectly generic?

JADE: yes

ROXY: dunno about that

ROXY: looks like a green cube to me

ROXY: with like

ROXY: slightly beveled corners

JADE: thats what a perfectly generic object is

ROXY: couldnt something theoretically be more generic than this

JADE: how

ROXY: um

ROXY: i dunno

JADE: exactly

ROXY: :\

JADE: if you want your powers to reach their full potential youre going to need to become more familiar with the fundamental building blocks of ideas and how they translate into more complicated thoughts and forms

JADE: then it becomes a simple matter of using your abilities to snatch those concepts from unreality

ROXY: sounds too hard

ROXY: better start killing me repeatedly and get it over with

JADE: we both know you dont think its too hard, you think it sounds like an interesting challenge

ROXY: dammit!

ROXY: (fucken jakes wily bitch ass grandma)

JADE: this is a very good start though

JADE: with a little practice im sure our empress will have her orb in no time

ROXY: well at least i know i can make a whole lot of these boring cubes if all else fails

ROXY: hey maybe ill build a sick fort outta them

ROXY: hehehe jade tell me that wouldnt be so baller

JADE: it would be fairly baller

ROXY: fyeah

JADE: keep trying for that orb though

JADE: i will return in a while to review your progress

JADE: and remember, dont get any funny ideas

ROXY: but p much all my ideas are funny

JADE: i mean dont try to escape!

JADE: even if you are invisible i will be able to track you down instantly

JADE: my sense of smell is very good

JADE: now if youll excuse me i have some business to attend to

ROXY: what business

JADE: i am still trying to locate my brother

JADE: but im having trouble picking up his scent

JADE: hes using his windy powers to obscure the trail and its giving me fits

ROXY: windy powers eh

ROXY: who is your bro?

JADE: woof!!!

JADE: i mean shoosh :x

JADE: that is enough questions from you

JADE: now i believe you have a space egg to conjure

ROXY: (mumble mumble egg mumble shove it grumble)

JADE: what?

ROXY: (mumble mutter my fat ass)

JADE: farewell roxy

[darkstarbureau]

茶番カプリシオ (chaban kapurishio, Capriccio Farce (Clockwork Lullaby VI)) singable translyrics (the saga continues)

i may or may not have accidentally put some words multiple times a little too close to eachother but it shouldnt be noticable i think

also used actual names for characters instead of titles because im odd like that

-------------------------

-------------------------

ARTE & POLLO: The judge waiting to bring 'pon her seize Riddled with such junk that'll all but gleam Come, now, their ashes fall like snow This irregularity is justice, no?

IRINA: With this gavel I will carry the search still going through The divine ordered us to keep collecting their remains If somehow you have an idea where they're to be found Come to the stand and continue to testify, "Sorceress of Time"!

MA: Epochs still continue to pass as an heirloom of their time Coming and going their masters, but one's to walk the line Even if the future still herds its feigning uncertainty I have an intuition that she is the one to blame

ARTE & POLLO: Take a look, take a look, go and look high and low Left, right, left right, ebb their disguises She has the key to all you could ever know Look for "The Master of the Hellish Yard"!

ADAM: In duration of this farce dragging through, it'll soon get to you All will be pointless when the gear stagnates

BANICA: Her brother who fell down into the earth, to which dreams won't concern She's too far gone and you know that your mother was the one to blame

POLLO: Justice keeps ringing scenarios of dissarray Vessels that've known no peace for all of their lives

ARTE: Each doting upon their very own ostinato Discordant, they sing a capriccio

MA: They've already written stories of depravity in the stars They walk alone on their path of all too destined parts

BANICA: If they were to ever see avarices' cold design They would certainly make a statement deep in blame:

ADAM: What really scared my pity into shame—

IRINA: Were the vices of humanity

Let's take a look at what we have and address all the facts This man who stands here is the child of lust itself I give you my special permission; come up to the stand Inform us of when you first arrived to this cursed forest

GAMMON: There's a feeling deep inside that I just cannot shake This urge that I need to seek the katana of violet Seeming its necessary to solve my mystery I trekked on into this wood solemn all by myself

ARTE & POLLO: Kill and devour, if it's grim, prowl anyway Such a lack of dignity really cannot be helped

IRINA: Conviction, conviction, at the rate of our mission Perjury! Conviction! Execution!

GAMMON: When I put on that sharp facade of no mercy to the gods The girl in front of me who changed her wits and lent me her hand

LILITH: I wanted the victim to be charged right since I am of employ

GAMMON: As of my release they've called me "Cursed Gardener"

MA: "Sorceress of Time" and also the "Cursed Gardener" are Harbingers for the awakening of them Each embracing their objectives, held up high and to the chest Ephemerally keeping invaders at bay

ARTE & POLLO:

"Master of the Court" and the "Master of the Graveyard" too Ticking gears, mopping tears "Master of the Hellish Yard" When the atonement of this theater will go to waste Who will be amused at the end of all things?

ADAM (2): Lulila lulila luli luli la… The first beating heart of the irregular

BANICA: Friends along the way farcically paining us

ADAM: Hopes and loves coinciding with losses deep in debt

IRINA: All continues to fuse with the turning of the clocktower

LILITH: The clockwork lullaby continually rings out a cry

ADAM (2): Right before the "Collector" took a bullet to the head

GAMMON: He constructed a theater that would contain the dead

MA: Will the paradise that he wished for his oh so dear Michelle

GUMILLIA: Ever come to its decided fruition?

ARTE & POLLO: Come, now, let us coincide With our own eyes this farce we call life

-------------------------

-------------------------

man.

anyway you know the drill i WILL be back

[hertwood]

dts s5 e6-8

e6: -having flashbacks of having to defend oscar to my mom for this why does the show try to lean into otmar's perspective so heavily GROSS -nah im full tinhatting i do not remember this whole bit where everyone hypes up oscar in interview before he has his lil chat with mark netflix u slimey lil bitches -oh if i was here when this news broke summer break 2022. i would've been inconsolable. i'm sure it was nuts, ballistic. maybe it was good i wasnt there. idk if i could've handled it akldkfjadslkfjasdkfj -lando saying "i already am (leading the team)" was not that rude it was just the TRUTH sorry -daniel speaking italian is so important actually -"ive been in this sport for 25 years i know what im doing" king that only makes the fumble THAT much more embarrassing COME ON -otmar talking abt how well oscar took all the shit we offered aren't we owed a contract? reminds me of timeshare schemes like actually just u paid for xyz if you dont have a contract in place he doesnt owe u anything maybe do contracts better next time :) -unfortunately zak brown is right!! its a pr disaster is the 5 million worth it!!! and they didnt even get the 5 mil!!! how do lose ur job speedrun masterclass here!! -i do wonder how much netflix inflated daniel's chances for the alpine seat, bc from what i've heard it wasnt really in the conversation. idk i wasnt there but it would make sense for netflix to lean heavily into this narrative -did not realize liam was sitting Right There when pierre was askin abt the gossip aldfjaslkfjaksjdf -the way how in season 1 its like NO DANIEL DON"T LEAVE RED BULL i feel the same way abt pierre going to alpine. like ofc it made perfect sense at the time and you cant fault him for it but like no babygirl its bouta implode PLEASE -rip all the tiktok edits that were muted in the umg purge that paired "good luck to oscar" with "if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing." thank u taylor couldn't have said it better myself -"do you regret anything that's happened?" "um. no :)" U TELL EM BABY

e7: -i'm sorry but geri seemingly getting boiling water from a tap to make tea is so fucking insane rich person cursed -was originally gonna include this funny shot of christian standing looking out a balcony like sharpay evans in high school musical in my s5 gifset but due to recent events i will not :) -i just think. that including this whole bit abt how much checo loves his family in the same episode as the monaco gp where he allegedly cheated on his wife was a CHOICE. interesting. -lewis's monaco 2022 outfit is one of his best outfits ever. its so iconic 2 me -HI ALEX -so many cinematic parallels to discuss. s1 max putting it in the wall in practice and ruining his race to prove he was faster than daniel. known parallels to brocedes ALLEGEDLY trying to sabotage eachother by crashing in that corner in monaco. hmm hmm hmm. much to think -im sorry the sainz collision is just so goofy. i remember watching the replay of this quali and being bamboozled. befuddled. deeply amused. what a stupid fucking sport -'for fucks sa-........okay this is typical monaco isnt it" MAX GETS IT -i honestly dont mind wet monaco races just bc by nature of the track its on average slower therefore less dangerous. i'll take a wet monaco over a wet spa any damn day -ferrari's double pit fuck up is PEAK embarassing ferrari strats. like to do a bad strat is one thing but to just mess up the strat ur trying to do. peak biblically cursed charles leclerc moment

e8: -god i wish i got more into yukierre. i see the appeal. unfortunately they just dont give me brain worms -many thoughts. um i think focusing on yuki's temper is just. unfair. like sure he should work on it but thats an issue with many young drivers its not a unique failure on his part -i have given thoughts on japan '22 before i'm not rly gonna rehash but i really wish the didn't gloss over it on dts. i think it was an important moment in the sport to have a big conversation abt rain safety. -oh this nyck supercut is gonna be painful knowing where it goes :/ -god remember when ppl thought nyck was gonna lead the team? leave yuki in the dust? even /i/ had him above yuki in my preseason predictions isnt that insane? -"im happy, i'll take that, that you'll miss me at least 2 or 3 minutes" god forgot the most romcom ass shit since sebchals we'll start by holding hands -nando n lance having this crazy crash and now a year later they're fucking on the reg. happy 4 them

[dayurno]

getting over my writing shyness a little to tell u abt the kevjean fic im writing... its an au where jean and kevin leave together and join the foxes im not sure where its going yet (im very slow) but really im being driven by my self indulgent ideas. kevjean free for the first time but also learning how to be normal together.... going to fast food places for the first time playing stupid video games etc... i just like the image of them at a mcdonalds at like 2 am. and im not sure if i will be including this anymore bc idk where id put it in so just consider this general kevjean thoughts. i think jean should know irish. a very small amount bc kevin probably wouldnt remember enough by the time he met jean but still. an exchange of languages between them of homes they can no longer remember..... jean specifically saying "i'm here" in irish when kevins panicking bc thats what kayleigh used to say and it still comforts him every time..... well thats all. please let me know what u think as the resident kevjean expert

I <3 FICS MADE UP FROM INDULGENT IDEAS ARE U KIDDING ME!!!!!! theyre the best.... i <3 wish fullfilment i <3 indulgence i <3 having fun and amusing myself. and that sounds so fun already :-) i feel like theres such a delicious switch of dynamics in the foxes if jean was part of them.... he would truly fuck up their balance in many incredible ways. would he be the one who strikes a deal with andrew? would the foxes still be upperclassmen vs monsters or would it be upperclassmen vs monsters vs kevjean? would he be as paranoid as kevin? more? less? what would he think seeing the neil trainwreck firsthand? there's too many questions. we need more fox!jean fics. for YESTERDAY!

AND AIYA.... i don't know if you haven't already but my darling roisin's fic (all that looking down by animediac on ao3!) has a chapter where jean learns a little bit of gaeilge for kevin :) I THINK THAT IDEA IS SO VERY HEARTBREAKING.... and truly how earth-shattering to have someone who learns your mother language for you when and especially youve been denied the right to speak it. i love it i love it all :-) you have GOT to write that thang ok. whenever you're like waugh i don't wanna write today i hope you imagine me on your shoulder like some kind of fucked up pirate parrot telling you to go write that thang NOW

[itsdefinitely]

things i noticed on the opening night of beetlejuice at the national theater

putting a read more because this is a long post

-didnt change the whole being dead thing unfortunately :(

-there was no sandy in the whole being dead thing :(

-justin collette does what i can only describe as a gay voice (he also does The Voice really well; its consistent!!)

-at the pose for the whole being dead thing, beetlejuice motions for the crowd to keep cheering (a lot) until rhe crowd is screaming and then he starts. uh. well. hm.

-the purple curtains that are slightly open and emit smoke are used for scene changes

-"and then the b-man is free and the mai tais are on me" someone in the audience: "woo!" "yeah, woo. woos for all of us"

-beetlejuice does that thing when you pretend to walk down the stairs behind the couch

-they changed ready set not yet to be about wiring!

-the maitlands die of an electric shock instead of falling to their death

-beetlejuice exited stage right, and then walked down the stairs when entering next; he just kept teleporting around the stage like that

-when beetlejuice was being melodramatic about the puppet show, he got on the floor to keep screaming

-"that was one heck of a shock" dont judge me. i like the line changes.

-barbara dry heaves after finding out she died

-they kept barbara's hand being on fire!!

-during the whole being dead thing pt 2, beetlejuice reads off his hand to remember how to spell his name

-during the whole being dead thing pt 2, beetlejuice does a think where he pretends hes riding a horse (yknow at the end when the horse walking sounds happen)

-everyone started cheering when beetlejuice was doing the thing with adam on the chair… you know the one… so he KEPT GOING AND PRETENDED HE WAS RIDING A HORSE (a theme that may continue to appear later)

-okay i dont know how to describe it, but adam and barbara are played in a way that is Violently Bisexual (i love it so much oh my god)

-LYDIA IS PLAYED LIKE A TEENAGER!!

-i wasnt really sure about delia at first but i love that she mispronounces So Many Words (like. more than Leslie Kritzer did)

-instead of the house going back, the purple curtains lower again during dead mom

-THE COMEDIC TIMING ON "…aaaand thats how i got herpes."

"…"

"…"

"frOM KATHARINE HEPBURN!!"

-barbara and adam are so good auuughhhhhhh theyre so much more. i dunno. uh. in touch?? like, they feel less like dorks (still dorks though)

-when adam interrupts beetlejuice's soliloquy, theres like the biggest pause.

-"im sorry guys, ill pay you for the full day" as the soliloquy chorus is leaving

-"you make." dramatic pause "daddy." another dramatic pause "SO angry."

-i love barbara so much in this shes more of a girlboss than usual

-okay i know how to describe it now. there is so much like. body language in this. adam is a lot more raunchy, barbara is a lot more realistic (she flosses at one point), and there is SO much hip thrusting from beetlejuice (no t-rex arms though)

-they close the curtains again, and only half of it opens for delia's scene (amazing staging)

-delia doesnt do the fortnite dance during no reason

-lydia sounds so much more genuinely confused than amused when she says "is this still about me?"

-adam and barbara with sheets over their heads project on the screen behind lydia

-the curtains raise when lydia chases them, and its the attic again

-"perhaps i myself am strange and unusual"

-she sounds so heartbroken when barbara asks "and your mom?" "dead."

-"should we get the sheets?" "adam" "we should get the sheets" "adam." "no no no we should-" "ADAM" looks at each other walks offstage without the sheets (it was probably to stall for the scene change)

-like with no reason, half the curtain raises instead of all of it

-"i am very good at sex." its so funny to me because delia is played as So over-the-top and this is Completely deadpan

-lydia is so whiney (i dont know any other way to describe it) when she says "and their eyes are mad of the deeevill" it feels like a real teenager

-being able to hear every footstep after "i wish i were dead."

-half the curtain raises again, the opposite side to the previous scene

-no wig change :(

-they kept the extra arm/leg!!

-green lights when beetlejuice says "im gonna have a new best FRIEEEEEEEEEEND"

-this is mostly unchanged, but i love all of it anyway

-they kept beetlejuice burning the note

-when beetlejuice gets knocked off, theres a projection of the smoke ring

-say my name gets extended at the end!! at the "gonna make him say me name (make him sya your name)" part!! for an extra 2-4 bars i think

-ah yes. this is the scene.

-lydia pretends to do a ballet move (i cant remember what its called)

-delia isnt wearing lingerie, and her dress doesnt get ripped off

-everybody cheers for day-o (as they should)

-no pig, but we have the small plate with the meat hand on it, and maxie dean's wife says that line (the deep "daylight come and me wan go home")

-beetlejuice still emerges from the table!!

-all the green spotlights on him when he says:

-"it's showtime"

-HE DID THE. HE SAID THE THING!! HE SAID THE THING!!

-obviously, no big face and hands, but they hand wood/cardboard (cant tell which, probably wood) versions of them

-they keep the carnival projection on the stage

-"guess we're not invisible anymore"

-can i mention again the justin collette does The Voice??? its slkdkcidiwoksmcnskkw

end of act one

-SKYE!!

-theres no physical house prop, but the curtains are lowered and the house is projected onto it

-the projection and all the lights turn red when skye inhales deeply

-skye does her best not to look at lydia

-EVERYBODY LAUGHING WHEN "well we're really not supposed to" "why?" "pedophiles :]"

-i couldnt see it clearly, but i think skye had a fire instead of a flashlight

-"boo"

-this part is mainly unchanged too, but i really really like it still

-skye runs out the door (instead of walking up the stairs and disappearing)

-beetlejuice clones!!

-the pie lady actually catches the pie (when i saw it on broadway she didint)

-theres no "that looks like a penis" :(

-i love the npr tote bag. i kinda want one

-beetlejuice doesnt put on a sad little kid voice when talking about his mother drinking. its more like it happened when he was a teenager/young adult. he also doesnt do the "i shouldve left like your-" sad sad about to cry voice "father" he says the line, but his voice doent break. hes more mean

-"get her to marry me" clones: "huh????" "oh, its like a uhm. green card thing." clones: "ohhhhh" "yeah, yeah. strictly business"

-during that beautiful sound pt 2 (which i adore) beetlejuice makes a zip your mouth kind of motion when the clones are supposed to be quiet, which like. is that possession??

-the transition between these scenes is beetlejuice directing two of his clones to run in circles while the set around them gets moved

-i love the glowy effect with the book (also you can hear every page turn)

-picking up a metal detector "i never even used this. and then i felt bad that i never used it" pretends to use the metal detector "beep beep beep beep"

-"get right outside my comfort zone" LEANS TO THE SIDE AND RUNS HANDS DOWN TORSO

-delia jumping up on the couch

-delia and charles's dramatic sighing

-OKAY HOLY FUCK. THE WAY OTHO SAYS "toyota prius" BROKE MY BRAIN HE LIKE. THERES AN ACCENT AND HE ROLLS THE R

-i just. i like otho

-"the b is silent, but it still stings" "no, not that one" "why say doubt, when you can stop at do" "not that one" "doubt. it has a 'u' but it doesnr have a 'me'" "thats the one"

-"ugh classic maitlands. yknow what?" steps towards the edge of the stage, looking at the audience "theyre the real villains of this show" lydia: "what?" "nothing"

-"classic bait and switch, oldest trick in the book" looks off to the side and sighs

-"Normally, I perform exorcisms por bono, but you made me come to-" the most disgusted voice "-Connecticut"

-barbara still floats!!

-no wig change for the whole being dead thing pt 4

-theres still the fire clickers!!

-beetlejuice comes from the stairs instead of rising from the floor

-i never noticed this before but otho, delia, and charles get bound by chains

-adams mouth gets sealed shut its so cool aaae

-"i want you… to marry me!" everyone: "WHAT?" very exasperated "oh cmon guys its a greencard thing"

-good old fashioned wedding my beloved

-the door is still green and expels fog

-"classic bait and switch, oldest trick in the book!"

*pause*

"why does everyone keep leaving me :D" he doesnt even sound mad. then,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

it went on for at least 30 seconds (probably more)

i cannot stress enough how long that scream went on for

-*holding his head in his hands, the most tired and defeated voice ever*

"alright. new plan."

"youre all going to die"

*happy cheery joyful*

"TOODAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY"

-flashing lights going on for forever as they change to the netherworld (i know it takes a bit to change scenes but my eyes Hurt)

-they do the thing with the white square things lighting up one by one

-miss argentina has a southern accent and mispronounces argentina

-IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOOOOWWWWW

-angry pygmys still shrunk his head <:(

-juno was like. too much for me i think. tone her down a little. also, she doesnt have the smoke machine that makes it look like she's smoking (still has a cigarette though)

-chase sequence!!

-lydia is genuinely so heartbreaking (she is usually but this show especially)

-theres no life or death sign (from what i saw) but the logo is on a podium with a sheet on it

-adams podium still says sexy-beetlejuice has a cool suit i love it!!

-he didnt really yell; the "where the contestants suck and the host is very angry" was all in the same tone

-"let me check my stocks"

*the sheet on the aforementioned podium is lifted, revealing otho/kevin in stocks*

-kevin offers to give beetlejuice his prius, claiming that "IT WAS A PLUG-IN" before hes wheeled offstage to the sound of wood splintering on impact

-"Mr. Juice."

-"HOLD ON JUST ONE DAMN MINUTE"

ill be honest, i dont know if it was because ive seen the show before (most likely) or if it was because adam was more bold throughout the rest of the show, but it didnt have the same impact. but this makes up for it:

-as adam is telling everyone everything, he gets close to beetlejuice to the point where they are inches apart and his hands are on beetlejuice's ass

-the kiss!! slay!!

-barbara is actually angry, and adam says "maitlands 2.0" to get her on the same page

-barbara cant kiss beetlejuice HAH

-"WAIT WAIT WAIT. this is all very

believable.

im a highly sexual being and i do love an orgy. but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. except for her."

*points to delia*

"shes done some stuff."

*delia pauses, and then makes a big motion with her arms like "yeah you got me"*

-TEAR AWAY COSTUME!!

-his hair changes too!!

-GLITTER CONFETTI!!

-the lights still turn pink when

"i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright"

-OKAY BUT. BEETLEJUICE AND ADAM GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES ACROSS THE STAGE

-this part is very unchanged

-i love the living monologue. i love the birds and the stock song thay plays and the roller-coaster of emotions and the being hit over the head and the being stabbed

-juno is back!!

-"one minute youre on top of the world, and the next minute, you feel like no one will ever love you… this guy knows what im talking about!

i pick on you because i see myself in you. later tonight. say my name three times."

-"and you."

*dramatic noise the whole stage turns blue except for a spotlight on lydia*

-THE SANDY PUPPET!! EATS JUNO!! SANDY IS HERE!!

-"look lydia now we both have dead moms!"

*nobody onstage laughs, the audience losing their minds*

*pause*

*swinging the severed leg back and forth*

*uses the leg like a golf club*

"and a swing and a miss"

someone in the audience: "FORE!"

*flips them off* "three. fuck you."

-*in a scottish accent* "charles ya ripe old bastard never change"

"i already have changed. ive changed a lot."

*no accent* "well thennn... go fuck yourself"

-when beetlejuice and delia are doing… that thing during the goodbyes, beetlejuice pretends to ride a horse towards delia (told you the theme would return) and she pretends to ride a horse when he gets close

-"dora" "delia" "we didnt hang out much"

-"i think ill miss you most of all. scarecrow. boop" *put cowboy hat on lydia*

-i love beetlejuice's exit so much, gets carried dramatically by his clones only to be put down right after

-"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. I’LL NEVER COME THIS WAY AGAIN! TELL MY STORYYYYYY"

*pause*

"this has been a strange day."

-lydia still floats during jump in the line/dead mom reprise

-"im home."

end of act two