#its 1:30am ignore any typos but!! thought id share a blurb

[junipum]

"I know pain. I feel it every damn minute every day that I'm alive. I wake up and remember that I never wanted to in the first place. Every step I take is one unbearable agony after another. I can barely function most of the time, let alone think, and these pills are the only thing holding me back from a more permanent solution. If you don’t want to deal with me, if my pain is just too much for you, I’ll close this door right now and you can walk away. I don’t blame you. I could never blame you.”

His speech is finished with anger, anguish, and a multitude of other unnamed emotions flickering across his face. House looks ten years older than Wilson knows him to be, and it stings like a scalding brand in his chest.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re in pain, and I wish I could help you. But I can’t. And you know I can’t. But what I can do is be there for you when you need it.” Looking into his eyes is too intense right now, so Wilson drops his eyes to House’s running shoes that haven’t truly been used in years.

“You’re not weak for needing support, House. You know I care about you, admittedly too much for how screwed our relationship has been for two decades. We need each other, and like I’ve said before, I don’t think that’s such a bad thing anymore.”

He looks up again, scanning House’s face for the deeper emotions always hidden under his cold facade. His face is impassive, but his eyes tell worlds of information, a million miles away in a far away land. But Wilson can see. He’s always been able to, no matter the time or place or insane context. He feels himself breaking, overcome with the emotions he’s repressed for years. To think this would be the day he couldn’t hold it anymore. A gloomy Sunday in August, slight chill creeping along the ground and through his thin jacket.

Turning, he hears House inhale sharply as if to say something, but ultimately shuts his mouth with an audible click of his teeth. A shudder wracks his shoulders and down his spine as he walks away from the low steps of the building. Leaves scrape across the ground, red and brown in retreating summer warmth.

Brow tense and eyes shining, he leaves the light of the lamppost behind as the distance between them grows with each tired step.