#itll come to me someday definitely

[caffeiiine]

someday i will create more ocs and i will finally tell a story im proud of <3

[transxiety]

Don't want to be too much of a downer cus I got shit to do today but GOD I'm in shock of how much I needed that advice for my art

For my final project I decided to go after 2 big passions of mine nature and tarot cards, and after explaining multiple times what tarot is and its purpose, my professor fully admitted she had no understanding of what I was going for and no idea really on how to help me develope this project

So, god bless her, she just kept trying to push me to her tastes and her idea of fine art. I wasnt realistic or abstract enough and fully admit im not good at realistic, so she kept pushing me to be more abstract. Abstract for a tarot deck can work, it is about interpretation, but that was not at all what my goal was for the project. So it was a constant back and forth of my goal and her ideas.

This wasn't necessarily bad, and she was trying to encourage me, but it was frustrating and really killed my motivation for the project. At the end of the semester the results weren't bad, I passed and graduated and people bought most of them off me, but they weren't anything to write home about. Which could summarize my entire art education tbh lol

But god I cant imagine what I would have done if at any point someone said "make something I hate" or "show how much you love it" I know all the odds were stacked against me (undiagnosed ADHD, sever burnout) but idk, I think at least getting the encouragement I needed would've given me a very different relationship with art

[cavity-collective]

therapist mandated reporting is going to seriously get me fucking killed someday.

oh yeah lets just make it where no matter what if i speak up about being repeatedly abused to my therapist, itll get broadcasted to the cops and my parents. thats definitely encouraging me to get help, knowing this disgusting secret im ashamed of and dont want anyone to know will immediately be shared against my will.

oh you wanna talk to your therapist so you can get the courage to leave your abusers and recover? too fucking bad. your abusers are the only ones who know whats happening so you need to stay with them, at least they wont snitch!

its sooooo helpful to never be able to be fully honest with my therapist. it makes me sooooooo much safer that instead of talking to someone about the abuse with the guarantee of privacy, i have to weave around it and avoid mentioning the actual thing constantly hurting me because if i do, this is no longer a secure line.

you’re just gonna have to wait until way after the abuse, after youve been suffering for so long in silence. thats when youll be allowed to talk to someone. oh, and if at any point youre on the brink of suicide because of all of that pain and actually might commit? we’re gonna put you in a psych ward if you tell us. we know how much trauma you have from that place, so you better not tell anyone or we’ll send you back! just keep it to yourself until it gets so bad you go through with it.

never tell anyone about the abuse, never tell anyone about being suicidal. we will make all of your worst nightmares come true if you do. every time you have a nightmare about the psych ward, or about someone finding out the awful things people have done to you, remember the only way to avoid that is to stay silent. fuck you.

[cainightfics]

can we get an update? are u doing ok? u had such crazy output last year and now u so suddenly stopped

hey! ya sorry i went so mia its been a busy year. im still working on fic but its slow. from when i last updated trotw to april i was working 3 jobs, taking a full uni courseload, and writing my thesis. the thesis in particular honestly burned me out on writing really badly but i did manage to write that one oneshot

then summer was just shit honestly lol. i spent the entire summer working at a restaurant to save up money bc i had to move away in september, and the shift i had started at 6am, so i was almost never awake during my peak writing hours (11pm to 3am). i lost 30lbs in 2 months partially because i was broke and partially because my eating disorder relapsed (probably from stress lol). during that time i was only eating one meal a day in the form of my free staff lunch at work, but the restaurant where i worked was INFESTED WITH MICE :))))) so half the time i was too disgusted to eat thinking there might be rodent shit mixed into my food lol. and then on my days off i just ate like eggs and rice and zucchini bc thats what i got from the food bank. in august i started really genuinely and consciously restricting my calories down to like 500-800 cals per day, plus working on my feet as a waitress doing like 20k steps a day as a result of the malnutrition and rapid weight loss my hair started falling out in massive clumps :))) and i started sleeping for like 12 hrs a day. im eating properly now ofc tho

i moved in september for grad school and am now living in one of the most expensive cities in the world lol so i spend a lot of time just financially struggling. i have a job that will last until the end of december but its under contract so i only make like $600 a month and have to rely on my $14k school stipend and meagre savings for the rest. ive been looking for another job but i either get no interview, have the interviewer ghost me, or most recently, get told i have the job and then just never get scheduled. i have 7 cents in my checking account rn lol. my rent is paid until next month and then after that who knows whats gonna happen to me

last years output was definitely a fluke and only happened bc i was VERYYYY financially stable and could fuck around a lot at my part time job, where i wrote most of trotw. those sunny days are gone 🚬🚬 lol but i dont intend to abandon my works and i promise they will come someday. if anyone here feels like paying my rent itll come EVEN faster!!!

thx for checking up tho, its nice to know i havent been totally forgotten by u guys <3

[raidenloml]

3 from the askgane dor whichever characters u want >:]

ack!!!! ok so!!!

3. weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

(this is a perfect question as ive been playing more splatoon 3 recently so i actually have a feel for the weapons i want my characters to use hihi + ill just list all of the ones i currently have chosen weapons for!)

turns out, this post grew way longer than i thought it would so uh woe read more be upon you

Arsenic:

Definitely Splatana Wiper as main and (Luna) Blaster as secondary, he has a quick and agressive playstyle so these are the weapons he usually goes for (also his aim is absolute dog with chargers and splatlings are a little bulky and slow for him, he can use shooters when needed but he doesnt find them interesting to play)

Link:

Probably sticks with a vanilla Splat Charger, likes to play support/backline but still pressures the opposite team quite a bit whilst staying out of fire himself. Other than his proficiency with his main weapon he probably has some practice in with other weapon classes as well. (This is because he works for Ammo Knights hihi)

I'd imagine him being kind of well known for his absolutely bonkers k/d ratio because of his high awareness playstyle but he would definitely have the dumbest deaths in practice :')

Zel:

Zel is a HUGE fan of heavy weaponry like this woman is absolutely insane about them and practices every single one she can get her hands on but her main weapon of choice in battle would probably be a Dynamo Roller or a Nautilus when she's feeling extra silly... as for why its mainly because it helps her stay physically strong and uhhh lifting super heavy weapon in practice means she doesnt have to go to the gym often

A4:

Definitely shooter class weapons, probably sticks to something like an N-Zap, Splash-o-Matic, Splattershot and Splattershot Pro but is quite handy with a Squiffer when needed. I imagine at some point A4 and Link would switch roles just before a match to confuse the opponent (very silly behaviour)

BONUS!!!!!!!! These are characters which i havent really thought of in a competitive sense or havent developed yet

itll be very messy going forward mainly because i want to yap so hard about these little inkfish thumbs up

Fern:

Fern doesn't really play that much but would probably prefer Dualies, not sure which but she'd probably switch it up sometimes

Violet:

Brella 100% (i dont know how to explain it i just feel it in my bones) her Brella would probably be decorated to the max literally her pride and joy (also known as her favourite fashion accessory as she's too busy with her job to actually use it in battle :( boowomp)

Amber: (<- Arsenic's younger sister!!!)

Brella/Bucket, i haven't really thought of her in battle but she'd probably just mess around a ton lol

Ise Rotag:

Ise was originally the character that was Link's like future partner??? their story was really nice but he got replaced by Arsenic after i abandoned the two for a few months and decided to revive Link again (you will see Ise more btw i fucking love his design and cuntyness) FOR THE WEAPON! Probably an Inkbrush honestly this guy loves to be annoying and sneak up on backliners when they least expect it, plays very aggressively as well... also his name has a really funny origin and if youre able to guess it ill uhh idk good job

I have 3 other characters but they all dont have names so uhm yeah ill just go quickly through these

oc based on coroika, inkling, probably something backline, dont imagine them in battle often

waiter, octoling, grim blaster (or so me from 2 years ago wrote down)

shut-in, inkling, new squiffer (again according to notes left to their design drawings)

2&3 were together and 1 was a sona for shits and giggles but uh theyll come back someday!! i promise!!! like their designs and relationship dynamics too much!!! they might even be Ise's new teammates!!!

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

I know cannon Jack in the lore was like the only thing that could make the convoluted mess of a story make sense. But it seems like there's going to be a slight re-write of the lore. I was actually disappointed with the whole "oh lets just do a supernatural research and containment place is evil(or not evil, just selfish in the pursuit of knowledge/curiosity that causes catastrophe) and thats why bad thing happen" as I writer I understand this kind of horror trope is popular, but I'm also tired of seeing it.

It feels so overdone at this point. But I understand it's just something he likes and I respect that.

The only possible writing solution is to put Chase in cannon Jack's position, of course this leads to a wall of "how we gonna write ourselves outta this one in a way that makes sense?"

Anyway on the question of what is Anti, it's definitely moved on from "oh he's just a demon or something" but I hope they do keep it interesting.

Now for your writing, is definitely so far removed and so unique no one else could come up with the most depressing, distressing thing I have ever seen. The danger feels more real. The fact that there was this guy who created things without a sense of care, just abandoned them. I kinda cried not lying about that.

Now for the comics....I'm not sure if I'm going to buy a digital copy. It does seem like these versions of marvin and jackie are going to cater towards the fannon side of things, with slight changes. Now if this is going to be a multiverse thing...(another trope trending in fiction media lately) I can only hope it's not complicated.

Please keep creating.

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS SOOOOORRRYYYYYY

but yeahhhhh idk how i feel about the whole iris thing! ive seen the whole mysterious facility thing before and i feel that its such a different direction than the original lore.......and jack being put in a coma by anti and EVERYTHING ABOUT THE ORIGINAL ANTI VIDEO was super cool in my option AND CHASE MASQUERADING AS JACK CAUSE THEY LOOK IDENTICAL ughhhh it was a neat narrative. not that im a Hater of what sean does creatively but i do prefer the original lore ya know? maybe thats nostalgia talkin but yeah. i actually have not bought the comics yet because i genuinely kinda dont care, which seems mean to say! maybe i will read them eventually but for now im not super interested. anyways. sean can do what he wants forever and i have my own opinions and complicated thoughts about the years of the jse ego hayday. but im glad i can talk about what i think about the 'modern' ego stuff without much backlash and we can have discussions 👍

also im sorry my ego lore made you cry omg 😭 i mostly just daydream at work and come up with wild shit that i think is fucked up and cool and i sometimes post about. its crazy to me that my ideas are impactful and make people feel things 🥺 thank u all for interacting and enjoying what i make, i genuinely hope i can find the time to work on more ego stuff soon (like the iceberg. i keep re-writing the script over and over and cant make up my mind about certain things. IM SORRY ITLL COME OUT SOMEDAY)

[pinkseas]

Hi its me again, mind if I share an idea I had for xiaolumi?

Basically yes Lumine can purify Xiao's karmic debt but she can't take all of it away. What she can do is take away the most dangerous parts of it. Her abilities destroy the pieces of the dead gods wrath stuck to him that could kill him, but she can't remove things that aren't from a gods power such as his sores and chronic pain, things that for him are just there

Xiao's debt is something he can't really every get rid of no matter what and even with purification the pain is still there, but it can be worked on with the right support system that he has been pushing away for so long. If he finally takes some help it won't hurt him the same way it killed his siblings. And with Lumine even if she is nations away she can help him every little bit and he is nothing but grateful for her

Really really sorry if this comes off mean I just wanted to share a perspective. You don't need to answer if your weirded out or anything. I just kinda see Xiao's karmic debt as a possible metaphor for chronic illness and trauma sorry again

you can absolutely always share !! ANYTHING pertaining to xiaolumi my eyes and ears are wide open at all times im so srs

and BASED AS HELL!!!!!!!! no bc like. for as long as xiao is killing the demons in liyue the debt is going to remain even if in the smallest degree, and even if it were wholly cleansed or anything of the sort there's still the fact that he's lived with it for centuries and both his body and mind have long since adjusted. he's absolutely going to have so many defenses against it that hes not even aware of, physical and mental, i can 100% see him with honestly any sort of chronic pain whether brought about by the karma and now sticking or whether its been there for as long as he knows. lumine can ever so slowly get rid of the debt that accumulates and that would one day kill him but the effects of it are probably something that never truly leave, and that that support system like you said would help SO so much with.

you dont have to be sorry at all, and it didnt come off as mean or anything of the sort in the slightest !! i havent like properly fully considered it before but i absolutely understand where youre coming from and theres a HUGE possible metaphor/symbolism thing there. something incredibly painful that can never be fully rid of or cured that xiao has long since learned how to live with? and there are definitely further elements with it having killed the other yakshas and the slow accumulation and him accepting that itll kill him someday too where you could compare the way it is in canon to either chronic pain/illness or terminal illness. god. explodes. but esp with the way i personally characterize xiao and the way i view his relationship with lumine and the effect it has on his karma it coming hand in hand with chronic pain makes sm sense like it slots so neatly in with the rest of his character, and then THAT gives so much room to explore support systems and coping mechanisms and.... man. Man. explodes again

[torchiiko]

coming to a conclusion : i think my ever shifting desire to do things isnt compatible with streaming with the way ive been going abt it. while itd be nice to turn into a job someday, treating it like one from the start takes some of the fun out of it... im worrying too much abt constantly being entertaining & not letting myself indulge in my usual grindy playstyles bc itll bore my (potential) audience

streaming to my friends on discord feels a lot more casual & i feel more comfortable taking my time bc the goal is just to have fun ! & i want that to be the case for All my streams. i wanna be able to start playin smth whenever the desire strikes & whoevers available will come hang out with me in chat. i feel like turning gaming into a weekly obligation isnt right for me

my intention was to have fun sharing my gameplay with my friends & ive made it , Not that way,,,, so i need to restructure. there are definitely still games i wanna save to play alongside ppl but i might let it be more sporadic, an occasional thing. & i think having ppl in vc would be fun :) the only issue then would be do i livestream it or keep it between friends? record it so anyone who cant be there wont miss out?

much to consider... still totally wanna do the birthday marathon thing tho Please let me show u guys dialtown just a little bit pleewaaees

[t4tboblin]

feeling crazy 🤪 thinking about bb pokemon au. here are bob, linda, tina, gene, and louise's teams, in that order. explanations under the cut :) feedback is welcome id love to hear yalls thoughts

Bob in my head, he never really did any battling or anything, pokemon are just sort of a thing that exists around him. so i tried to reflect that with his "team"

camerupt: his "starter"-basically a gift from his dad when he started the restaurant. its absolutely ancient and lives in the restaurant kitchen; it gets up in the morning and plods over to help heat up the grill and lies there all day, then in the evening gets back up and goes to lie in its bed. too old to go upstairs. same vibe as your 10 year old laptop that you only use for one specific thing but by god are you using it. subsists on grease. bob has offered it other food. it jsut likes grease.

vanillish: aka the ice cream maker. linda suggested they get a working pokemon for the restaurant and this was the result. pokemon make bob nervous a little bit but he was like. the dad who says you cant get a pet and then ends up obsessed with the pet. hes an objectmon lover at heart :') he doesnt really consider it "his pokemon" but hes definitely the closest to being its trainer. it sleeps in the walkin and seems to love it, so.

klefki: object mon. symbolizes his love of object mons. i think maybe his keys got haunted one day and he just went. well. this might as well happen. its very chill

applin: the most "pet-like" of any of bob's mons, applin snuck into their produce one day and instantly won bob over. it sits on his shoulder or on the counter while hes working. also come on. he has to have a food mon on his team.

pidove: bob doesnt HAVE a pidove but theres one that always hangs around near the restaurant and he likes looking at em

tandemaus: Tandemaus

Linda she actually started a Pokemon Journey TM as a kid but ended up going home after getting her first badge. she loved the experience though!

emolga: her starter. likes to perch on bobs head. he likes to complain about it. but shes a cuddly sweetheart so its hard NOT to love her

scrafty: one of the mons linda caught on her journey. frequent accomplice when she was hellraising as a child. surprisingly good at keeping the kids out of trouble now

morpeko: she actually got it from trading her shinx back during her journey ("ha! sucker! those things are a dime a dozen") but the shinx was shiny :') but morpeko is a perfect fit for her (gets mad when it doesnt eat vs "mom has to eat every 15 minutes or she turns into a monster"). first of her pokemon that bob managed to win over

oricorio: a gift from her parents when she was in high school, long after shed come home from her journey. shes never changed its form and may or may not know she can even do that

zigzagoon: she doesnt actually have one, but theres a colony in the alley that she loves watching. theres a few galarian zigzagoon in there too, but in my mind The King is hoenian

tandemaus: Tandemaus

Tina by far the trickiest one for me. she doesnt want to be a trainer, but she does think contests are kinda cool

Munna: her first mon. bob and linda got her to help with her night terrors. also helps her remember good dreams so she can write about them in her diary/eff

Mudbray: i think tina starts volunteering at a pokemon daycare and this is one of the eggs that pops up. the trainer lets her keep it, but it has to live at the daycare ("for now!") because a Horse is not fitting in their apartment

Ponyta: tina's dream partner pokemon is a galarian rapidash. as much as i would love to see her dream come true im not convinced it will. however i can say with confidence that she'll have her very own ponyta one day :)

Hitmontop: reference to her capoeira era (rhyme unintended) also i like the idea of tina getting into martial arts in general

ralts: she wanted to catch a Dance-related pokemon to impress jimmy jr buuuuut she couldnt find a kirlia so. ralts. itll evolve someday! and then be really cool! but she kinda likes how awkward it is. its sweet. no shes not projecting. leave her alone

Drifloon: i like the idea of her zombie-fixation carrying over to ghost types. she found drifloon down by the pier and thinks its cute. bob thinks its definitely killed children before. but its very well behaved so the balloon stays

Gene definitely not a trainer either LOL if anything he wants to do pokemon musicals. all his mons are pretty much just performance partners

Loudred: his first mon, gifted to him as a whismur. bob and linda regret it significantly more now that its. not that. basically a standin for his megaphone

(Shiny) Eevee: aka Ken. he finds him walking home from school one day and hides him in his room for... longer than youd expect. by the time bob and linda found out it was way too late to kick ken out. something something trans-coded trainers having eevees

Spoink: also gets brought in off the street; gene just has a way of befriending stray mons. its a great match for his energy

his other three mons (Squawkabilly, Kricketune, and Chatot) he meets when hes older. i imagine grown-up him would have a whole flock of chatot living outside his apartment. linda hates kricketune though

Louise shes gonna be. the very best. like NO ONE ever was. fairy is the perfect type for her-cute, kinda weird, ridiculously strong

Igglybuff: as a wee one she saw wigglytuff and was obsessed and begged and begged her parents for one. she was significantly less impressed when she saw its first form but thats ok, theyre still buddies. and once her DUMB PARENTS will let her battle, shes gonna evolve that sucker into the wigglytuff of her dreams

Mimikyu: not her first pokemon, but definitely her partner. she finds it creeping around the apartment and demands to keep it. come on its cute creepy and powerful, shes eating that up

Ribombee: she gets him "second hand" and sneaks him into school with her. louise likes that hes a weird bug.

Togepi: a gift from her family on her 10th b-day-or at least the egg is. she watches that thing like a hawk and when it hatches she is DELIGHTED ("this must be what childbirth feels like!" "mm. yeah. pretty much the same.")

Morgrem: she catches this sucker in high school and they get into all kinds of mischief

Tinkatink: come on, shes just a little guy. look at her. louise cant just leave her out in the cold. no of course she isnt going to let her hit rocks at people or whack her parents toes. she'll be a perfect saint, honest.

[akirameta84]

Can I just say, your writing is so good. The angst hurts. The fluff gives the warm fuzzys. The humor is absolutely perfect. I’m still cackling over the fact that Aren accidentally gave Kusuo lycanthropy by kissing him like some kind of STD. Also, your oneshots that you posted for the Parahuman and Werewolf AUs left me craving for more. No pressure though, I definitely know what it’s like to lack inspiration when it comes to writing. 1/3

!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON

sorry for all the typos im too lazy to proofread something that isnt a fanfic lol

seeing these rambles of asks literally made my night

youre in luck in terms of the werewolf oneshot, because it and the parahumans one were both unfinished concepts. BUT im working on the werewolf one. no promises or an idea at all when itll be done, but the current version is already 8k words (the snippet posted of it is only the firzt 3k)

if you wanna dm me your username i can message you whenever that oneshot gets posted. though no pressure because i have absolutely NO idea when ill finish it but ive been wanting to wrap it up soon and its nearing the end, obly maybe 3 or 5k more words on that one

i dont think ill be working on that oneoff parahumans oneshot again, but maybe someday. the general plot continuing after the snippet would be: kusuo was incapacitated because he overused his telekinesis to throw leviathan, and because his powers are modified to have intense limits to fit in the setting of worm, he literally put so much telekinetic pressure on his own arm in the process that it just.. exploded. so he looses an arm and then it continues to where kuusuke realizes that the wards and protecterate are just really shit, and even though his brother literally lost a fucking arm, all they care about is the fact that he "didnt remember his limits" or "all that power is wasted" so the two of them wind up quitting (leaving in secret) to become dubiously moral rogue heroes. and then villains.

hope that can satiate that oneshot a bit lol

for the eldritch kusuo comparison, i genuinely do not know either of those at all, so i sadly cant comment ���

tysm im very glad you enjoy my writing ;w; i definitely embody the definition of "youre your own worst critic" so hearing that is so amazing

just. thank you. was already having a pretty good night after a bad day and this just made it a fantastic one. youre the best, take care, have a marigold for the road <3

[dateamonster]

ok im gonna try to put together a list of other horror featuring wlw to watch

particularly wlw horror that isnt also weirdly transmisogynistic. im channeling my annoyance at fear street into something productive ok fuck u.

as always look into content warnings as needed and proceed with caution and care. in case it wasnt obvious, this is horror, and as such youre not gonna find a lot of happy romances here. im just a gay bitch who likes horror and sometimes i like to see someone somewhat like me in it. lemme live.

the perfection: recentish netflix horror/thriller full of twists and turns thatll fuck with your head. very very dark but i personally find the ending sorta weirdly cathartic and its definitely one of the happier endings on this list. theres no easy way to talk about this movie with spoiling, nevertheless i can p much guarantee you will be in for a scare.

30 miles from nowhere: while i wouldnt say the sapphic elements of this are like Positive Rep i do like the way this movie portrays the messiness of interpersonal relationships and i feel like its nice that that messiness isnt limited to straight people if that makes sense? anyway its just a great movie. unpredictable and chaotic and darkly comedic at times. if you like horror movies where the protags in peril arent like Good People but are likeable, you may like this.

all cheerleaders die: admittedly i havent rewatched this in a hot minute so let me know if it like Doesnt Hold Up but as i remember it this movie is a campy fun time with similar vibes to movies like jennifers body and ginger snaps. its just a good ol fashioned undead teen romp with some meangirls social-politics and some girls who like girls. what more could u ask for.

the hunger: 1980s movie about vampirism and bisexuality with a kind of gothic horror vibe to it. i feel obligated to spoil and tell you its Not a happy ending type of romance, but i do still like it and i do really appreciate it as like a take on the intertwined horror and allure of vampirism and how that relates to ideas of sexuality.

ginger snaps: i know i know i know its not canon but youre not gonna be able to convince me that this isnt a staple lesbian movie. i feel like most ppl who follow me know about ginger snaps already but for the uninformed, its a werewolf-themed coming of age horror about two sisters. although naturally theres a big focus on ginger, the younger sister bridget is imo the true protagonist and she sorta intrigues me as, in my interpretation, a young lesbian who is witnessing her sister transform into a manifestation of her own fears regarding sexuality and growing up. thatll get its own post someday tho.

may: this movie is a partially grounded, partially fantastical, purely captivating feature-length character study on a socially isolated young woman trying to find a perfect person in a world of flaws. itll make you smile, itll make you wince, itll getcha with that slow sense of building dread where youre just waiting for something to go horribly horribly wrong. check it out.

what keeps you alive: a highly stressful survival-horror type thriller. i know that subgenre is usually reserved for games but im not really sure how else to describe the vibe of this. i wont lie its not one of my favs just because its not a mode of storytelling i tend to mesh with but i do think its undeniably a good quality movie and i think if youre the type to be drawn in by fast-paced thrillers you will be into it.

feel free to add on. literally the only criteria for this list is its gotta feature a sapphic character and not feature a horribly transphobic scene <3

[moved-to-void-kissed]

okayokay so, i have a few characters i think u would like but 🤔 the one that sticks out to me the most rn is jeralt from fire emblem three houses. i think u would DEFINITELY see jeralt as a dad figure,,,,

hes an ex-captain of guard for the church, and although he can seem a bit distant and stoic sometimes, especially at the the beginning, hes VERY very kind and u can tell he rlly cares for the mc a lot. theres a scene where hes visiting the grave where your mother is buried, and he tells you about her and shows you their ring and says that itll be yours someday to give to someone you love and it mESSES ME UP EVERY TIME-

Thank you for this, Tara! And for coming up with this game in the first place, for that matter!

(source: this post by blushxblush - hey, that's you!)

send me in asks telling me what characters from something you like that you think I’d selfship with and how I’d see them - aah, I definitely see where you are coming from here - the description of him reminds me a fair bit of Vandham, haha. That's such a sweet-sounding scene, oh my goodness ;w;

I don't really think I'm getting any particular familial feelings, but I definitely understand why you thought I might, so don't worry about it! He seems like a pretty great character, so thank you for this~

[targsdaenerys]

20 Writer Questions

thanks bae @rayondeneige for the tag :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

43 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

276,918

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

published to ao3, 7:

jonerys

star wars

captain swan

anne x gilbert 

peter parker x mj

bellarke

deckerstar

but i have a few fics i started within the thrill of watching a new show that i just never posted/finished.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the ceiling is a blank slate (peter x mj)

walk of unshame (anne x gilbert)

show me the sun (bellarke)

WONDERLAND (jonerys)

a fighter (bellarke)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i used to not to, but now i do because 1: i always get excited when an author responds to me, 2: feels polite to do so, 3: genuinely want to talk to my readers:)

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i love to write angst but only when there’s good payoff. so theres pretty much always a happy ending for my fics, but id say Cruel Summer from Valentines Week 2020 was pretty bittersweet. Wonderland also has a angsty ending but in a ‘we have alotta feels’ way, not ‘imma tag this with MCD’ way.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

as i said above, most of my stuff is happy. but Challenge: Valentine always makes me smile very much.

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

someday i would love to, but i dont read them, so i dont think itd come out good lol

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

oh god yes, my fic just in case. there was war in the whole fandom the whole day because of it. but it really showed me how many lovely people there are in this fandom that helped and stood up for me, including writers ive looked up to since the beginning of my fandom games which was very cool.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

ohh yes. havent in a bit, but it is very fun to do so lmao. i start a lot of fics inticipating a big build up to the smut but dont get there lol. usually its more smuff when i write it, but ive been attempting to leave that comfort zone.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont think so??

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nah

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

besides bouncing ideas with some people, nope

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

generally, its jonerys--fic wise, fandom wise, etc. but deckerstar is my comfort ship.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

theres a ballet fic ive been working on and forgot about for about a year lmao. im trying to finish all my posted WIPS before working on it someday, so hopefully i will, but yanno

16. What’s your writing strengths?

generally, i love to make the audience feel exactly what the character is feeling, so those kind of descriptions ive gotten good at. but i also am very good at accurate charactization in fics--my goal usually is to stay exactly in their personality. so im good at that kind of complexity.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

dialogue definitely, and commas/repetition. drives me insanee.

18. What’s your thought on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

copying emilies response: fine as long as it serve the character and the story. Daenerys speaks multiple language and that deserve representation.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

oh god do not make me answer this. jennifer lawerence x josh hutcherson on wattpad circa 2014, age 12. it turned into everlark at least.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

oooo. i honestly like a few. Completed, Devil’s Cupid, Challenge: Valentine, On My Mind, or a fighter which was a bellarke character arc study. but once Wonderland is done i think itll be my fav.

all my writer followers feel free to do and tag me!

[stormwarnings]

fic writer interview

i was tagged by @lemurious thank you :D

name: im stormwarnings on tumblr/ao3

fandoms: all for the game, tolkien (silm and lotr), and got dragged back into supernatural kicking and screaming

where you post: mostly ao3, but i put stuff thats less polished on tumblr too

most popular one-shot: doubt thou the stars be fire, my aftg fall exchange fic! its not my best, but i guess people like it which makes me happy

most popular multi-chap: black, the night that ends at last which was actually the first fic i ever wrote. i think its alright - i think my writing has definitely improved a lot since i started it in april. im glad people like it though, and its a wip but itll get finished someday :)

favorite story youve written so far: either my silm ‘fix-it’ bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh or my legolas/gimli orpheus and eurydice retelling we raise our cups

fic you were nervous to post: probably black, the night that ends at last because it deals with things pretty close to my heart, and also - first fic ever lmao

how do you choose your titles: music? random phrases that float into my head? a line of poetry thats just chilling? absolutely no clue its random

do you outline: lmao sometimes not frequently tho, id definitely benefit from doing so and maybe id have less wips but then again im bad at finishing stuff so probably not

complete: im not gonna leave any of my stories incomplete - ill finish them eventually. rn 19/23 fics on my ao3 are finished

in progress: ahaha ive got 4 fics according to ao3 that are incomplete - black (aftg longfic), see your face wasn’t quite as i remember (lotr era eldritchyness and sibling vibes), bone of my bone (silm fix it), and people like us (silm modern au with crime families). once i finish bone of my bone, i intend to add more stories to the 'verse (like the dawn) including ones centered around characters, and a chapter fic centered around the line of elu thingol and doriath. plus, ive still got a few more characters to go in my eldritch peredhil series, whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it

coming soon/not started yet: my aftg rbb fic, which im super excited tho slightly stymied by! plus my tss fic, which is almost done, but after that i intend to update some of my wips. im also writing a genderbent spn au bc im gay and love girls and terrifying angels

prompts: sure go wild i enjoy writing short things for other people when i can muster the productivity

upcoming work youre most excited about: the dang supernatural fic how did i get here i swore id never go back - but also seriously hyped to write more of my silm fix it whenever i manage to get around to it

i tag: uhh i dont actually know who hasnt been tagged? @thatfeanorian, @withfantasticgarlands, @xirinofarvada, and anyone else who wants to

[caleanamajored]

had a dream i met an old coworker in a store n we’d become pals over our time at work together so she gave me a hug and as we were hugging i started to remember “oh shit...wait...im supposed to be social distancing...” but as soon as the hug was over i figured it’d be too late to institute the 6ft rule because i just had my head on her shoulder so if she had it im fucked by now. ill probably be having dreams like this for years to come.

the pandemic is definitely one of those things my grandkids will ask me about in the future and maybe ill have something interesting to tell them, maybe ill just say i slipped right through it on a haze of drugs and sleeplessness, but i might go to bed that night and have a dream of being afraid of everyone near me coming close to me. hopefully that fear of others and fear of closeness only lingers in my dreams and its something im able to overcome to get back to where i was with social intimacy in the future. now is not the time to be afraid of other people, and afraid of the community, now is the time community needs to be strong together. i want to be able to embrace the people around me without anxiety. someday itll happen, but when it does, it still wont be the same as it was before. we will never go back to the same, we will only move forward into a different, safer, smarter future.

a good way to be less suicidal all the time is to just tell yourself, relentlessly, that this new future we’re heading into is going to be good. honestly, it has to be, cause its pretty fucking bad now, and there is a chance in the very near future its going to get even worse. a good chance of it. that doesnt mean we can give up on the future as a whole. there are good people, lots of them, out there all the time working for change and to make the future better for us and our children, and to think itll never get better and we’ll never progress is a disservice to them. the future will be different but that different will be better. the future will be better. it will get better. we will hug again.

[chroniclecollective]

thirty days of did asks - day two

Day Two: Who knows about your system? Who do you want to know? What do you feel like it’s like coming out as multiple?

currently, only my therapist, girlfriend, one of our alters' exes, and their old teacher knows were multiple. one of our previous therapists knows too, but i havent spoken to her at all since we left the program i was in as her patient. back in mid 2016 before junior year ended.

ill be honest here. in the beginning of the sessions with our current therapist (so this would be around mid-late 2016, i was the sole host and only fronter, everyone else had gone dormant after an event), i told him that i had "thought" i had did/osdd but i havent heard anything from the other alters since so like. i faked it ig nd he just went ok and we worked on my dysphoria and getting a name change for the body, working on getting a job. having help with college and starting testosterone (the main goal originally of therapy but it branched off from there bc i knew smth wasnt right) and then working thru not being on it anymore. he didnt care that i brought it up, he acknowledged it and moved on but definitely wrote it down in a document. and now he knows a little more about it which is good.

telling my gf was easy bc she has it too!! and weve been together since before i was in denial, so she knew about it too! and weve been together for two and a half years now so like. i trust her and she trusts me. her alters and mine interact constantly as well anyways so like everything is good there.

i told dyes ex about being multiple and he kinda gets it now, especially all the rapid changes that happened in middle and high school for the body. he knew us as the birthname we shared, but more specifically he knew and was rlly close with dye when she was fronting . but now he knows me as Lee (or tye but thats more of an irl thing), and i really appreciate that were

friends bc i have gotten to know him as such since i began fronting and its awesome. in addition to this, i told dyes old teacher from freshman year about us being multiple too; and he understood a lot about it and was really kind about it. he was the one that aided us into going to the hospital to get some serious help after a lot of emotional situations. we were bedridden and wouldnt go to school and were not in a good headspace. thankfully it helped but then there was a second hospitalization. and then a final third one and thats when i began hosting alone for like...2 years? yeah but this teacher helped us a lot and was a total friend to me during high school. i owe him a lot of my confidence and encouragment bc he gave that to me a lot

coming out as multiple is scary as fuck, even with people youve already known previously. a lot of ppl online know im multiple rn thru this blog, but i think thats ok bc if im able to open up about it someday in real life, people will understand and not be as shocked yknow? but yeah...and im not sure who i want to tell. i dont know if ill ever tell the momther? maybe tell dad, cause itll be kinda complex to explain but at least hell understand better....maybe tell our brother and sister someday. maybe our cousins in private. when i adopt kids with my girlfriend, well tell our kids when the time is right. it all depends on who im comfortable knowing about it

- lee