#itd probably gonna be a very different story and i think thats a good thing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ajdrawshq · 2 years ago

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ztd crossover with kh but it's just Carlos meeting Terra, Diana meeting Aqua and Sean meeting Ven. Cursed or blessed concept. Go

HM. WELL. i immediately leaned toward cursed bc like (gestures vaguely at ztd) but that feels mean so im gonna try putting some thought into this

Carlos and Terra :] very good pair for the most part i think. just 2 big older bros doing what they do to try to help people.. but it all goes to shit kupo. i can see them getting along pretty well, both due to their personal experiences and bc of who they are in general. also now that i think abt it its kinda funny that both of them happen to be plagued by visions but only Carlos' have an actual explanation?? Terra morphogenetic field moment?? even funnier is that both of them have the same "welp. anyway" reaction to it like yeah this just happens sometimes 👍 kind of unfortunate Terra couldnt use his to prevent bad things from happening too but oh well. its not like hopping timelines is that easy in his universe anyway. Terra still gets bonus points on an individual level bc while there was very little he couldve done differently there Are things Carlos couldve just uh. not done. yknow. things that i think Terra would kick his ass over tbh

Diana and Aqua.... oof. on god we're gonna get u girls some therapy. they were both so severely fucked over by like. literally everything from ingame events to the narrative itself. trapped in two different but absolute hellholes of sitautions for Very Long Amounts of Time and only called upon as a pawn in a game that both defines and ruins their lives and their entire world, and they barely even know it. and the only people they get to talk to at some point in their respective hells are Sigma and Micheal Mouse (and Terra sort of).. yea i think id lose it too tbh. its interesting that Diana was a 100% crucial part of why ztd happened while Aqua's role in Xehanorts plan wasnt really until ddd/kh3 unless u count him planning the whole end of bbs.. before that she was more of an outside force? not that taking her out wouldnt change anything ofc but her direct actions were more harmful to the overall plan than going according to it. i might need to play bbs again to confirm that more but uhh i forgot where i was going with this. i could see them getting along but i dont really remember enough about Diana as a person to know just how well they would? i guess itd at least be nice to have someone else who knows what their oddly specific and horrific situations are like, more or less

finally Sean n Ven.. Man. talk abt kids who cant catch a break for their entire lives no matter how outragously short OR long. they both just have a Lot going on and play some of the most major roles in their respective stories and god knows they didnt ask for any of it!! tho weirdly enough i dont feel much for Sean considering how he fits into the kinda characters i usually get attached to. but maybe thats just bc it was ztd. anyway !! out of the 3 duos here i think these two are most likely to become actual friends. from the memory fuckery to having a greater role in everything than they couldve imagined (both of them essentially being a key at some point..) to even just. having a very limited world in some way. and not having full control over their bodies. and several other major things im probably forgetting they both have. lots and lots and lots of things. they are friends to me

and just some general other thoughts - while im. not entirely sure how to feel abt what ztd does with the morphogenetic field i can at least appreciate the weird memory stuff that comes with body hopping and the possibilities that has when tied to all the other weird memory stuff that already happens in kh for similar or different reasons. like the way ztd (and vlr to some extent) went about it didnt quite hit the way i wanted it to but the concept is cool to me? itd be fun to play around with it in the context of kh i think. or vice versa. altho maybe introducing multiple timelines to the kh universe isnt the best idea.. hm. much to think about

but yeah!!!! overall verdict: mostly blessed with some underlying hints of cursed. like a weird aftertaste

#just realizing that i wrote the whole Diana n Aqua one under the assumption that Diana would remember that but i #honestly have no idea if she does.?#ive been thinking abt this for DAYS u have no idea #i feel like i couldve gone more in depth with most of this but every time ive gone to write more on this its been like 6am #ty for this tho it was fun trying to think abt all this :3 #id like to hear what u think abt each of em as well - i never thought abt the parallels between em all but they do fit each other well #ask #mortellanarts #ztd #kh

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x1uizy · 3 years ago

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lmfao i kept putting off my woodz album review for so long for some reason 😭 but anyways here we go

(ive already listened to it a few times but im relistening in order to write this)

1. multiply

did we know that he was gonna do english songs????? anyways this is very chill, i like it! not my fave style from him but i wouldnt turn it off if i was just relaxing. also im glad that the lyrics make sense because that can be...rare 😅

2. thinkin bout you

i really enjoy this song but um. im also aware that its the type of music i imagine shawn mendes to make although idk if thats true. and this realization bothers me a lot 😭😭😭 but its seungyoun and i love the guitar and the vibes so whatever 🤪

3. sour candy

i think its cute!!! not exactly my favorite on the album but i dont think theres really anything wrong with it at all? dont ask me why but i feel like a girl group should cover this song, itd be so cute 🥺

4. kiss of fire

good, love the bgm (because bass and guitars lol). once again not my personal favorite but i can see myself listening to it a lot at the same time. i could hear a bunch of these on us radio including this one

5. chaser

my favorite....by like a lot 😅 hes serving the woodz-weeknd hybrid i always knew he could 😌 my only critique is that i wish this couldve been a tt in like. jan - march and then the rest could be on a repack. i kinda cant believe hes not promoting this one, its too good 😭😭😭

6. waiting

i wanna just say that i really enjoy albums where the title is not the first song. idk, it just feels like the order actually means something then? but ik thats not really true, its just how i feel. as for the song itself: i like it! i dont necessarily understand it as a tt but definitely moreso than others. i think that this album as is, i would put chaser as the tt with waiting as the promoted bside, but thats just me. this whole album was like. (a specific type of) guitars and bass and if a song has those two things i like the song, i just cant help it. so i like this song just like the others even though i dont have anything interesting to say about it. also, do the parts when he says "why u make me crazy?" and the like sound like "boy u make me crazy" to anyone else???? like i hear why when im looking at the lyrics but boy when im not 😭😭😭 i was like oh???? 👀 until i saw what the lyrics were lmfao

anyways u might be able to guess but song rank:

chaser > waiting ≥ thinkin bout you > sour candy ≥ kiss of fire > multiply

album rank:

woops >> equal >>>> only lovers left >>> set

although every single one of those albums made it to my top albums of 2021 playlist so.

...did i even do a review for set??? 😭 if i didnt, long story short: i think its very good but a bit boring. kinda stays on the same register the whole time, not unlike only lovers left

title track ranking (not comprehensive because i never remember which pre produce tracks were titles):

bump bump >>>>> love me harder >>> how have you been ≥ baby ride ≥ different ≥ feel like ≥ waiting

as for the a1 woodz playlist...i have to think about it. chaser definitely makes it, waiting probably does, as does thinkin bout u, but i have to relisten to the others more. i suspect they all might make it though. we'll see

sorry this isnt as interesting a review 😭 but im interested in hearing what other people think so feel free to lmk wherever!

#woodz #cho seungyoun #only lovers left

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batz · 5 years ago

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Alternate timeline coomer and tommy who turned out to be the evil guys in the end

i remember in one of the commentary streams they mentioned that coomer and tommy could be potential Good Villains and honestly YEAH

itd probably be a bit different than the whole bubby and benrey thing tho. like, coomer is 100% the orchestrator to whatever fucked up thing happens to gordon, BUT its less out of spite (like with bubby n benrey) and more out of necessity? a situation where he thinks, and in some way is, the good guy in the situation! the games going to End, which means coomer and his friends are going to End as well, and coomer figures immobilizing gordon will make it way too difficult to win the game. if its too difficult to win the game, then the science team will Stay Alive, Live Forever! think The Trolley Problem, either kill one person to save many ppl, or kill many ppl to save one person.

coomer definitely doesnt Like being an antagonist, he was gordons friend after all! but what other choice does he have? tommy ends up being like,, a reluctant right hand man kinda deal, he's only w coomer bc hes scared of things ending bc what happens once the game shuts off??? he wants to hang out with his friends adn see sunkist snd drink soda,,, the possibility of things just. Ending. is terrifying. theres no books or wikipedia articles that say what happens to them once gordon leaves, and tommy doesnt like when something doesn't have a definitive answer. so he obv sticks by coomer bc coomer seems to Know what hes doing and Knows how to stop this!

bubbys 'never leave a man behind' mindset (that he apparently has??? lol) clashes with coomer and tommys mindset so he obv sticks with gordon and benrey. he kinda figures like hey if the games gonna end its gonna end like theres no use fighting it, we Shouldn't fight it. also being stuck in half life 1 forever sounds like super boring. benrey just kinda sticks by gordon bc hey wtf the script was changed why is he not the big bad anymore why isnt he the endgame battle???? realizing that bc of coomers choices it was switched around and now COOMER is the final boss, benrey just kinda tags along w bubby n gordon bc he wants 2 see what happens.

the final boss battle would be cool tho. big ol glitchy superplayfeature coomer. v much the same as benreys battle with the whole 'hey pls stop fighting bc i have no choice but to fight back'. less funny nonsensical lines and more shouting abt how 'theres nothing there'. maybe tommy has a change of heart and is on gordons side again bc he doesnt wanna hurt his friends, even if it means things potentially ending. now The Trolley Problem is reversed!!! now coomer is the One Person thats gotta be killd to save Many Ppl!!!! o shit what a twist!!!!

the scene where gordon gets shot w the portal gun and goes back to black mesa to destroy his passport has like, same circumstances, except coomer is Normal Sized and probably just calmly follows him to the locker room trying to convince him to like. Not Beat The Game. bc the science team may just be polygons n pixels to him, but they are very much Alive. and shutting off the game can only really mean one thing. everytime gordon tries to shoot him the bullets kinda just phase through coomer, who looks just, so disappointed in gordon. he rlly hates how things turned out..! pre-aware!bubby is the one that ends up opening the portal back to xen for him, even tho he rlly doesnt want to, bc it like, takez a LOT of effort and is super tiring like hes gotta use mind powers hes gotta use his brain to shoot a whole ass portal at a WALL like bruh but he does it anyway bc timelines or whatevr but he WILL complain while doing so

coomer is VERY glitchy and a lot more fucked up looking than benrey was when gordon returns, like hes just constsntly morphing and its suppper spooky! forbidden science evil moments!!!maybe coomer controls sunkist now too? sunkists got thos mspaint angry eyebrows and mspaint evil red eyes its SOOO spooky oOoOo. seeing that coomers got control of sunkist tommy goes full rambo on him like tommy is def the one that delivers the final punch n coomers eventually defeated!!! the ending scene is essentially the same, and the final speech is the same too! although a good portion of the speech is an apology to gordon bc. y eah. he def kinda deserves one. but he still mentions the science teams files being transfered, and Saved! he also makes sure to say that he Understands if gordon doesnt want to transfer over his file too, considering he did break the game. he just wants to make sure the rest of the science team gets to see the world bc they deserve it!!!!

tldr; if coomer and tommy were the villains itd be a completely different story and tommy wouldnt rlly be a villain fr long and coomer would be villain w grey morality / flawed morals n everyone is aware that its a game and its honestly probably a little bit more sad:(

#frank.txt #hlvrai #long post #this is rambley but YEAH #ok to rb

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suumekoi · 4 years ago

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By @mang0tree BECAUSE I FORGOT TO PUT YOUR USERNAME IN THE LAST ONE

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hdsfjdsf helo i am Back 2 ramble abt my ideas :] uhh this might b a bit more scattered then last time bc i dont have as solid of an idea for the rest of the story so this might b more just talking abt concepts more then anything else sweats (i have ideas involving gameplay and all here too so i might fit that in somewhere)

SO we left off w/ divinus telling yuelia and the protag that he figured out lava lamp dragon (hdxkgfdg thats its name now i have decided everyone settled on calling it lava lamp dragon) can go poof between dimensions w/e it wants and theyre all just there like "well fuck this aint good" bc this means the drago can now go w/e it wants basically to get itself more energy, and the protag is just like "ok well i can go chase after i-" but then divinus shuts the protag down saying that they still dont know what this drago is abt or where it came from or even what it wants to Do exactly and that its too dangerous for a human like them 2 go after

after that the protag is walking back 2 castele with their arms crossed all >:[ bc Divinus Wont Let Them Chase After Lava Lamp Dragon, and yuelia notices and says "hey, it's nothing personal [player]... not even me and lili could stand up to that thing. i think he's just trying to look out for you." and thats not. Extremely relevant or anything i just had the idea for that dialogue in my head

yuelia splits up w/ the protag once they get back 2 town 2 go uh. Do Stuff and the protag just stands there for like 2 seconds before thinking 'ok im gonna find a way to travel 2 a different dimension Myself if nobody else is gonna help' so uhhh Commence Research Montague (i dont actually know how they figure out this thing yet ok just pretend they found an old book on it or somethin) and after looking around they find a source talking abt some sealed up treasure that probably has the kind of thing theyre lookin for oh boy!!!! but they dont recognize the location, and so they ask around 2 a few other ppl who end up suggesting they ask lili since she travels around a lot and might recognize it

and lili's doin mostly ok by this point, shes awake and can move around fine and all but ppl still want her 2 rest 2 regain Al her strength before goin out adventuring again or anythin (despite her protests otherwise jfgkdfg) so the protag goes up and asks lili if she knows abt the location they found, and lili thinks for a moment before responding that she recognized the description where what theyre lookin for might be and has a vague idea where she might b able 2 find it, and then looks at the protag all like "why are you so curious about this place?" so the protag ends up explaining what happened with divinus and how they think if they find the Thing in this Place that itll make them able 2 help stop lava lamp dragon, and lili goes like 'hm' and sits there for a minute before going "you know im going to come with you, right?"

dsjsdkf and even if the protag tries 2 argue w/ lili shes like Set on coming bc she wants to see what the fuck this thing is too, so lili gathers her gear and her and the protag sneak out of town 2 go explore spooky place ooo!!!!! so after making it thru the Place (i um. havent decided what it is yet maybe a sort of ruins or cave) at the end u notice that there Is somethin at the end there, so u go up and investigate and it turns out its some kind of funky lookin gauntlet and the protag just goes 'oh cool!' and puts it on immediately and um side note this gauntlet May be slightly cursed and you May not be able to take it off once u put it on but ykno still thinkin on that part

so ANYWAYS the protag puts on the gauntlet and lili goes "oh wow we actually Found something here! we just, uh.... need to find out what it does now, i guess." so the protag thinks for a moment, before deciding to see what happens if they hit something w/ the gauntlet, so they smack the wall w/ their hand and BOOM the wall cracks open 2 make way 2 a portal 2 an unknown world that the protag and lili end up getting pulled into

and um. this is the part where most of my concrete ideas for Story kinda end but my idea for this world was sorta like what reveria would look like if celestia hadnt come in 2 help everyone by creating lives so like. mostly nature and not much of civilization to see except for the occasional ragtag group of survivors but also ofc not just reveria itll also b its own world w/ its own unique stuff 2 it and all, i just thought itd b interesting 2 explore what would have happened if celestia never came 2 help reveria in the first place

so basically then its just lili and the protag exploring this new world, meeting a group of survivors that explain everything that happened in this world and all and u try 2 help them out before u head back (considering having something of a Lava Lamp Dragon Encounter here, not rlly a fight persay but you might spot it from afar and try 2 chase before it escapes)

after u make it back 2 castele Not Dead lili mentions to the protag she wants to look into that gauntlet they found more mostly bc shes never seen or heard of it before (and shes been a lot of places) and wants to be sure it doesnt have like Sinister Origins or anything

and basically after u unlock another world thru Story Progression ur essentially free 2 stop at any time and go back 2 explore that place, u can like go there 2 complete quests and theres also somewhat of a Side Story in each world where u can learn more abt the world and also help the ppl solve some other issue they got going on in their world Aside from the lava lamp dragon that might b planning on destroying everything (so for example in the first world their issue would be that uh. theres a lot of monsters everywhere)

the second world ive been thinkin could b somethin of a steampunk world with legally required scrappy mechanic and a tiny robot friend named beep bop bip (bip for short) and uh. the third world is the one ive thought out the least but i wanna go for some kind of Mythical foresty place, maybe with non human inhabitants like bird ppl or somethin

and then the 4th world (the final one u unlock) i want 2 b all spooky and ominous, bc thats the world that the final boss is going to happen in where u fight Lava Lamp Dragon for the last time

so that sorta. all i have in terms of ideas for now i think?? unless im forgetting something jdfgkdg but i definitely think i wanna go w/ the whole celestias sister being behind this thing bc that would be a very interesting thing 2 explore........ at the end i feel like celestias sister would b like trying 2 command lava lamp dragon but it has gone cazy w/ power and ends up not listening 2 celestias sister so the protag is just (pulls out sword) "guess im gonna have to save you from your own hubris" and UM another side note but i also do wanna include the guys from the first fl game too jdfgkd there is just a Lot and it is kinda complicated 2 try and fit everyone in when the story is sorta still a wip so they are There. Somehow

im thinkin abt that cursed gauntlet idea atm and idk if thats like. Generic or not but i feel like it would be interesting if the protag somehow just forcibly got themselves involved in this whole thing w/ celestias sister and Lava Lamp Dragon just by getting this gauntlet stuck on them jdfgdlgk but yea either way im donw now woo!! no more ramble

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The protagonist sounds quite lively in your story xD putting on the gauntlet just because it looks cool. I think the gauntlet should jump at the protag instead, or maybe it could be alive, like it came from the other dimension to search for a hero/chosen one and our protag happens to be there. It would be like yuelia/flutter and dogu.... But a gauntlet I guess xD

(Also it would cool if the gauntlet can control the protag too, like once you reach the final boss battle, the protag lost control and we have to play as our old protagonist, lili in this case. Or the other way round. I just love it when games makes us battle our previous protag. ❤️❤️)

But a dimension where celestia didn't come to reveria sounds interesting! ... there's so much you can make of it! The current characters in reveria would still exist in the other dimension but living their life differently!

#fantasy life #submission

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Ali & Ronnie

Ali: [The day of but later] Ali: I convinced that man not to press charges or anything, the one that got involved Ali: so you don't need to worry about that Ronnie: wasnt Ronnie: tell someone who is Ali: 'course Ali: talking isn't the most useful thing for me to do right now so I'll pass Ronnie: go be useful then little girl Ali: I'm sorry he brought you Ali: that's fucked up Ronnie: course you are Ronnie: youre all well sorry now like Ali: For you, not myself, or ourselves Ronnie: no shit pity works with the rest of your brothers and sisters Ronnie: youre fucked up Ali: How so? Ronnie: show and tells over Ali: I hope it made you feel better Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: none of you give a fuck how I feel Ali: yeah I do Ronnie: wheres it been Ali: you're meant to wait for the kid to make the first move, that's rule #1 Ronnie: if you wanna play by the rules Ali: so I've lost points, that's fine Ali: you don't want us to care, right? Ronnie: the way your family is im almost old enough to be your ma Ronnie: bit fucking late yeah Ali: You do have a solid decade on her, yeah Ali: I'm a late bloomer, clearly Ronnie: ill leave it to her to be proud Ali: a big ask, but I'll survive without Ronnie: like I said Ronnie: fucked Ali: Yeah, a fair bit Ali: nothing to shout about, or that hasn't been now Ronnie: you wanted a first move Ali: It was a choice Ronnie: nah Ronnie: a reaction Ali: That too Ali: like I said, hope it was what you needed it to be? Ronnie: ask him Ali: you just did it for Joe? Ronnie: why else Ronnie: none of you mean shit to me Ali: but he does, yeah Ronnie: connect the dots Ronnie: I bothered to carve each one out Ali: I can tell he loves you Ali: do you love him Ronnie: hes that fucking soft Ali: you do Ali: alright, that's something Ronnie: fuck you youve known him all your life and you dont Ronnie: theres no telling me how I feel Ali: I don't know him or I don't love him? Ronnie: have it both ways Ronnie: he tells it either way Ali: I probably don't know him now Ali: I'll allow that Ali: that's how he wants it so you don't have to defend him like I'm saying I do Ali: or that I'll force it, when he's been so clear Ronnie: hes the last person I can be arsed to defend Ronnie: but no shit he gets everything he wants Ali: What were you after Ali: we disown him Ali: or strongarm him into rehab and therapy Ronnie: yeah Ive got everything crossed for sobriety Ronnie: fucks sake Ali: disowning then, he's done it to us Ali: it won't happen the other way 'round, sorry to say Ronnie: give him your fucking sorry Ronnie: he was the one begging me to ruin it all Ali: close enough that he should still be happy Ali: I'm not sorry for him Ali: I already said, he shouldn't have used you like that Ronnie: thats what happens theres no fucking 💘 and 🥀 Ali: no one deserves that Ronnie: I am no one Ali: You aren't Ali: don't have to be Ronnie: people like their junkies part time or useful or repentant Ronnie: fuck that Ali: that's not your whole gig Ronnie: you don't know shit Ronnie: youre not under my skin or in my head Ali: I know enough to know that's bullshit Ali: if anyone was just their addictions and vices, you wouldn't need them Ronnie: yeah youre the smart one Ronnie: he told me Ali: He's the one at the fancy arts school Ali: how does he reconcile that with being the junkie one Ronnie: youre 16 theres no uni thatd take you yet Ronnie: happy birthday for whenever the fuck it was Ali: Thanks Ali: about a month ago Ali: extend the invite next time Ronnie: dont Ronnie: I wont show Ali: you haven't heard how great my parties are yet Ronnie: I aint a childrens entertainer Ali: be cool if you were Ali: have a heart attack when you showed up Ronnie: next time I need a few quid ill try and remember Ronnie: make you proud of me Ali: probably leave that to Joe, and your friends and fam Ali: but I know how to make balloon animals so hmu Ronnie: course you do Ronnie: youre the target market for hippy crack Ali: awh Ali: how true Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: how long you been in the youngest ones adhd meds Ali: not really my thing Ali: need to calm my brain, not stimulate it harder Ronnie: 💔 Ali: how'd you know about that Ali: doesn't seem like the sort of pillowtalk he'd be about Ronnie: i was in care i know what an kid with adhd looks like Ronnie: and theyve tried to diagnose me as everything but a west little bastard Ali: he's shit scared right now Ronnie: be fucked if he werent Ali: yeah Ali: he doesn't really know Joe Ali: was like 4 when he went to Uni so Ali: proper boogeyman shit Ronnie: mckenna will love that Ronnie: real boner for the misery Ali: someone should get something out of it Ali: he can pay for his therapy later Ali: more meds, whatever Ronnie: ill tell him to put in his will Ali: try not to die Ronnie: itd be the ultimate misery boner Ronnie: why should he stop getting what he wants now Ali: yeah, you do love him Ali: but hate him too Ronnie: 💘🥀 Ali: Is he worth it? Ronnie: youre describing freckles and the princess you know that yeah Ronnie: me and her dont share every dysfunction Ali: Nah, they don't hate each other Ali: loads of other stuff, people Ali: very them vs everyone Ronnie: she hates that she needs him Ronnie: that he makes her soft Ronnie: close enough Ali: You reckon? Ali: Hmm Ronnie: first rule of tortured kids club Ali: it's why she loves him too Ali: you'd understand if her sister had been there Ali: she's got no one to make her soft, I tried but Ronnie: gutted she werent there then Ali: you wouldn't like her any more than she'd like you Ali: it'd be fitting, but no fun Ronnie: thats the fun Ronnie: I hate you all Ali: I see the appeal Ronnie: have a go Ronnie: hate me Ali: I see your appeal Ali: why would I hate you? Ali: Fraze does and he's having the least fun of all Ronnie: you see what you fucking wanna Ronnie: youd have to know me to know if I had any appeal Ali: Then I'm a spoilt hippy brat, as you like it Ali: you'd have to do worse for me to hate you Ali: not my MO Ronnie: not wasting another flight on it Ronnie: kill your own ma Ali: then I'm good for it Ali: sorry again Ali: you did what you set out to do, making me 💔 wasn't part of it Ronnie: stop fucking apologising Ali: it offends you? Ronnie: I did what mckenna cant do for his fucking self being a useless pussy from cradle to grave Ronnie: he is under my skin and in my veins like it or not Ali: yeah, and my apology is worth a damn when you've got problems that big Ali: alright, I won't say it no more Ronnie: if it was for me Id have done it at 10 14 fucking 18 even Ali: 'course, you got fucked over at birth Ali: no other straws needed Ali: his is more of a slowburn of bullshit Ronnie: yeah Ali: I don't know what he's told you, or how much you care about it Ali: but they've always been like it, Fraze too Ali: we have no idea and they went through so much more Ali: but Joe's only got 5 on me, so that says all you really need to know Ronnie: thats lads for you Ronnie: cant handle any pain unless they glorify it Ali: or co-opt it Ali: if you don't wanna be like them, tell him to get his own Ronnie: Im not like them thats why he likes me Ronnie: it aint my winning smile Ronnie: helps that I look like you and your ma course hes that sick Ali: He's hated them both ever since Bea came around, then when we moved her, like it was for her Ali: he's spoilt, like you said Ali: but I really think he is sick, too Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: were both sick Ali: yeah Ali: maybe you'll wanna get help someday Ronnie: for what Ronnie: theres no happy ever after here Ali: to not be sick Ronnie: nice try little girl Ronnie: not gonna get cured Ali: yeah, well has to seem better than sick Ali: that's a big ask Ali: I can't imagine not getting to do the drugs I do, and that's everyone Ronnie: it's like being in a relationship yeah sometimes it makes you feel good sometimes it dont Ronnie: cant fix shit though Ronnie: the rots too deep and its already set in Ronnie: long before I took a hit Ali: That's medication for you Ronnie: thats pain for you Ali: Yeah Ronnie: if I cant cut it out Ill cut her out of me Ronnie: her face outta mine Ali: It's DNA Ali: everything and nothing Ronnie: if she's in my blood ill spill it all Ronnie: theres fuck all point keeping it on the inside Ali: It's a waste of you Ali: the you that ain't her Ronnie: I am the waste Ronnie: ive had enough kids scraped out of me it aint hard Ali: She believed in the happily ever after you don't Ali: more fool her Ronnie: she got it Ali: she wanted it with you Ronnie: bullshit Ali: She did, she loved your biological dad, basically as many years as she'd been about Ali: she didn't just not get an abortion because she was scared Ronnie: she wanted it with him then Ronnie: I was along for the ride til I got dumped out Ronnie: if she wanted me id fucking be there Ali: she could've tried Ali: yeah Ali: you would've got taken away though Ronnie: so what Ali: just that, she wasn't allowed to keep you, she was a 14 year old with no parent, they'd have separated you and put you into different care homes Ali: happened to her friend Ronnie: I was a 14 year old with no parents either Ronnie: and a 4 year old Ronnie: 4 months Ronnie: however the fuck far back you wanna go Ronnie: I still found ways to get shit that I wanted Ali: Yeah, I know Ali: you had enough to eat and a bed with a roof over your head Ali: you wouldn't have if you'd had her, if that was even possible, somehow Ronnie: no I fucking didnt Ronnie: not always Ali: if you were in a home Ali: more than a squat where no fucker pays the bills or gets groceries over smack, you know the situation Ronnie: I know it helps her sleep at night Ronnie: this story Ali: you don't have to add it to your narrative if it fucks with your peace Ali: ask Joe Ali: if he reckons he remembers everything back in Liverpool, he'll remember Ronnie: I dont need to ask him cos his story is that she blinked and her life was so fucking sorted that she pushed a shit ton more kids out Ronnie: where the fuck was I Ronnie: nowhere Ronnie: youre my fucking replacement is why Ali: she could've got you when she got Bea and Ro Ali: I don't know how old you were then, 13? Ali: they might've said she was sorted enough, maybe Ali: it was more, this girl has been abused and you're a friend she trusts who is willing to foster her so let's shove her at you and get her out, it wasn't happy families Ronnie: no need when theres already loads of shiny white kids to mother and 2 less shiny to play saviour too Ali: I could ask Ali: I was a toddler, and it wasn't my bedtime story too, believe it or nah Ronnie: luck of the irish Ali: I'll take 50% Ronnie: her sob story is as fucking useless to me as mckennas misery boners are Ali: 💔 Ali: very convincing performance in that case Ronnie: fuck you Ali: why Ronnie: if you have to ask youre not listening Ali: I meant the part where you necked on with him Ronnie: why not Ali: 'cos his boners are a letdown, obvs Ronnie: I dont need him to make me feel good Ronnie: and he fucking wishes he could do as good of a job as the shit that does Ali: thank God Ronnie: he wanted the shock factor thats me baby Ali: assumed that was his intention Ali: he stopped showing up as himself ages ago though, that was, not more shocking but impactful, let's say Ali: if he wasn't so obviously out of it, he might've known that we knew Ronnie: he wanted to stop showing up full stop Ronnie: til he gets shipped back in a ⚰ Ronnie: and reckoned thatd be the final nail for you all us fucking Ali: and us younger ones are dramatic, hilarious Ali: who doesn't want to get away from home? Ali: Tommy has been since he was 11, Bea went to Cambridge, Ro will too, Fraze only didn't because Bea told him he wasn't allowed to follow her Ali: I'm planning on Singapore, myself Ronnie: hes too pussy to handle being away from me Ronnie: or what I get like when he isnt in my fucking face Ronnie: that bit wasnt about you lot as much like Ali: it's how it goes Ali: that's why people get knocked up, get married, get fabulous careers, so you can have an excuse for why you can't make this weekend, will try to pop in for this event but end up just sending a card Ali: it's weird it's you, of course, you're both sick, duh, but look at it objectively Ali: it's your version of 2.4 kids and a dog Ronnie: he dont want me to slit my own throat or anyone elses but his more fool him Ronnie: cant knock me up or marry me thank christ Ronnie: I like that the dog is smack thats well poetic Ali: I'll have a go at writing it Ali: if you want a null and void illegal wedding too, I'll write those vows and all Ronnie: ill stick it in a song if you want better than happy birthday Ronnie: fuck that i belong to no one Ronnie: theres loads more fun illegal shit to do Ali: you write songs too? Ali: just don't let Joe play cello on it Ali: if depression had a 🎵 Ronnie: id lose money if i begged with him Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: looks pathetic enough but thats all Ali: very child actor vibes, or rockstar's kid Ali: you had it all and you pissed it all the wall Ali: not here's a couple of quid for a warm cup of coffee and a sarnie, no Ronnie: i can see his face hearing that Ronnie: id have to take a brick to it Ali: yeah, he probably hates me Ali: not as much as Fraze, didn't have the toddler clout to make us move to Dublin, bit rude Ronnie: you're in his way Ali: of what Ronnie: 💉 Ali: that's his hangup Ali: like I said, no one is forcing him to do shit here Ali: guilt's part and parcel of 💚 and 💉 ain't it Ronnie: youre not telling me shit I dont know Ronnie: hes the one shitting himself hes gonna get chucked in rehab Ronnie: nobodys coming to take me nowhere Ali: I get it Ali: she's shit at turning up Ali: tell her to work on it Ronnie: do what you want Ronnie: far as sisterly advice what ive got is dont ask me for a shot unless youre after a habit Ali: lecturing ain't my gig rn, she loves a bit of it so honestly no need when her 🧠 will be full of the 💔 Ali: cheers, I'll stick to the just saying no of it all Ronnie: get the money up front when you are gigging Ronnie: and take care of the kid when you aint Ali: I will, I do Ali: he's got a few years to grow before I'm going anywhere Ronnie: yeah Ali: and my wife might stay and they're best friends Ronnie: she was the one trying to rival us for most high Ali: ✌💚💉 Ali: it was a party before you walked in Ali: which I'm aware was very much the idea Ali: can I give you a tattoo I'm good Ronnie: go ahead Ronnie: not gonna be here long like Ali: where do you wanna meet, my rig is way portable Ronnie: [a place nearby wherever they are cos god knows but I doubt Joe wants to see Ali and she aint gonna tell him that's where she's going LOL] Ali: 👍 Ali: about 25 on my 🚲 Ronnie: reckon i can stay alive til then

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knifekris · 5 years ago

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PLEAS tell us about your au....... and i hope you'll feel better soon!! stay careful and dont get sick please 😔

im already sick anon im sorry 😔 HOWEVER…

[ QUICK DISCLAIMER this tyzias uses they/he pronouns which is slightly different from the standard they/them i use but its butch lesbian indulgence hours and im God. anyways. ]

[ALSO UNDER THE CUT BC THIS IS LONG]

lemme tell you about zizi “tyzias” strider

alright so the premise for this au is basically “dave still had bro as a guardian but tyzias’ baby meteor crashed on top of dirks and smushed him” so alpha dave goes “well fuck i guess i have a troll baby now”

when i was talking to my roommate about this they put the mental image in my head of like, alpha dave with one of those baby carriers with grub tyzias just on his chest while he was fighting the clowns on the white house and while that may not be canon its Really Fucking Funny to me and i hope i get around to drawing it

um um anyways dave wasnt about to assign an alien baby a gender so he kind of left some of his shit for them and some shit hed think rose would leave for a girl or w/e but for the most part just stuff he Thought Would Be Cool– basically what dirk got originally but w some more variety and probably less anime shit because i actually like tyzias . anyways. they still get lil cal bc i feel like thats probably narratively important and for the most part tyzias is just like “yeah thats my puppet lil cal he’s pretty neat i guess. anyways”. obviously theyre going to treasure anything and everything dave left for them bc theyre sappy like that and literally dont have anything else.

it took a couple years for tyzias to realize how different they are from their human friends and they have this really deep insecurity stemming from when they realized theyre not a human like their ‘dad’/’bro’ but a troll like the condesce and they dont know SHIT or FUCK about troll culture or physiology except for whats out there for them to find which isnt a lot. so they get this weird irrational fear that if theyre not careful theyre gonna end up violent and bloodthirsty like )(IC who is a person who hurt not only dave but also rose and is actively making theirs n roxys lives hell and its a lot of “im so different from everyone i know and its in an arguably bad way”. especially wrt molting and blood color n stuff they dont have any explanations for anything except “im different from my friends and its weird and i dont want them to know because then they might think im weird or even BAD for being a troll”

they work REALLY hard on not letting this insecurity get in the way of who they want to be for their friends– which is to say they want to be someone dependable and a person to lean on and to look to for support. **!!blood player hours alert!!** tyzias feels responsible for the people around them (jane roxy jake) and wants to do what they can to ensure that they all stay safe and happy because other than a long-dead alpha dave these are the people that they have and thats really important to them.

i know theres no class or aspect doubling within the kids but i reaaaalllyyy wanna make them a seer of blood but might settle for mage. seer would help out wrt the game over bullshit because you have to think about where dirk was during the fight and why he wasnt IN it and why he didnt go with john and roxy to the new timeline and stuff. these are all things that make me wanna reread homestuck so i can get a cohesive thing going on. anyways.

dirks version of masculinity affected a LOT of stuff in homestuck and so did lil hal and with both of those things gone u gotta think about like. for example jake and how hes all gung-ho about being a Dude and Manly and the way he goes about exploring his gender kind of cluelessly. and i dont want to make tyzias more ‘woke’ than they necessarily WOULD be in their scenario but i like to think theyd get a decent grasp on what it meant to be a butch lesbian– or at least enough to find comfort and joy and happiness in it while learning more about it and themselves as they grow. the internet exists on earth b. im allowed.

anyways jake and tyzias are best friends and its the most wonderful dynamic thats come out of this thing (there are a lot of good dynamics. i have a lot of very specific self indulgent things going on in this au.)

[ tyzias noogying jake and saying “hey you fuckin’ nerd” while he yells “JEEPERS, ZIZI” ]

tyzias and jake get to talk about things like masculinity and what even is a gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland/on a deserted island and i think esp with tyzias’ aversion to showing what they look like or sending pics jake would go about assuming that tyzias is his Dude Friend until one day they have a conversation where tyzias goes “no bro im a lesbian” and jake has this moment of like. “… :D well thats neat buddy”

anyways tyzias encourages jake to go out and explore the island in SAFE and HEALTHY ways and they voice call while hes out and about so they can sort-of hang out as best as you can across spacetime and its fun. they like talking about stories (usually movies and shows) together bc its their common interest.

zizi is really into storytelling and writing which is kind of a mirror of dirk/dave being really into drawing while holding onto zizi’s interest in literature and history n stuff.

as for roxy i think itd be really neat if tyzias’ “what is gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland” thing inspired them to think about themselves and what their gender is vs. janes and maybe (or definitely) they come out as nonbinary and jane gets to be confused by zizi and roxys “weird pronoun preferences”

shit there is SO MUCH to think about with this. fuck. send me more specific questions so i dont just get caught up in my brain with all this. theres so much.

#joanin around #asked and answered #anonymous #replacement au #homestuck #hiveswap

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kanasmusings · 6 years ago

Text

[Translation] TsukiPro Special CD - Starry Sky Collection Track 2

Yay~! This time, it’s VAZZROCK!! Next one is Mamoru and Koki’s and then the rest of the Yaminabe series dramas ww

Thank you once again to Deea for the files~! Please don’t ask her as per her request, thank you!

Also, Sho briefly mentions the story behind Lyra the constellation so, please do give it a read to understand it completely ^^

※ Please don’t re-post these translations without permission. Instead of reposting, please just like/reblog instead ^^

Under the cut, enjoy~!

Track 02: [心揺さぶる音楽を -こと座ベガ-] “Music that Shakes the Heart – from the Constellation of Lyra – Vega”

Mamiya Takaaki, Kira Ouka, Onoda Sho, and Nadumi Ruka

[0:00]

MAMIYA: Everyone, thank you very much. We’ll leave the rest to you.

SHO: We’ll leave it in your care.

SHO: We’ll be taking our leave now.

OUKA: Thank you very much for today.

RUKA: Thank you~!

SHO: Now then, thank you for the hard work once again.

MAMIYA: Good work.

OUKA: Great job.

RUKA: Yay~! We all did well!

SHO: With this, VazzRaji’s first season recording is now finished.

SHO: Our party with the staff is over as well and now all we need to do is return to the dorms.

SHO: I heard that if we go straight home from here, it’s not that far but…

SHO: Takaaki, do you want to call a taxi?

MAMIYA: Ah, that’s right. Let’s call for one by the main street.

MAMIYA: But, uh… Can I ride a different one (from yours)?

OUKA: A different one? Where do you plan on going?

MAMIYA: Don’t look at me with such cold eyes~ I just feel like going for a little walk.

MAMIYA: If I walk from here to the dorm…

RUKA: If we’ll trust the map application, it’d take about 10 minutes!

MAMIYA: See? That’s what he said. It’s not really that far.

MAMIYA: I was just thinking of walking around to feel a bit refreshed.

MAMIYA: That much is fine, isn’t it?

RUKA: Ah! Then, I’ll do the same~! I don’t really like the smell of taxis and I try avoiding them as much as possible.

RUKA: Also, I ate a looooott of meat and rice so I wanna exercise a bit!

RUKA: And so~ Takaaki-kun, can I go with you~?

MAMIYA: Of course, you’re welcome to~! Let’s take it easy together, ‘kay?

RUKA: Alrighty~!

OUKA: (sighs) Ruka, if you walk back to the dorms from here, won’t it override your calorie intake?

RUKA: Non, non, non, Ouka-kun~ Doing things when you feel like doing them is important, too!

RUKA: In other words, there’d be no feelings of guilt lingering!

OUKA: Is it like that?

RUKA: Yes, it is! It’s kinda the same as when women go shopping.

RUKA: “Oh, I might find some use for this,” they say and then they end up buying more than intended~

RUKA: In my case, I say “I’ll lose it all in practice tomorrow” and then I eat as much as I can!

RUKA: If you say that, you won’t feel as guilty! Doing the things you love sometimes is important, too~

RUKA: It’s essential, right~?

OUKA: I see… That’s deep.

MAMIYA: By the way, I only want to walk, okay?

SHO: Yes~ I don’t really have any feelings of guilt but, can I join you for your night walk?

MAMIYA: Oh~ Sho, you wanna walk, too?

SHO: Yes, I’m the same as you, Takaaki.

SHO: Heading straight back to the dorms feels like a waste and somehow, I’m in the mood to walk, too.

SHO: I had so much fun a while ago that I feel like wanting to enjoy your company for a while longer.

MAMIYA: In Sho’s case, isn’t it just because you had too much to drink?

MAMIYA: You’re looking quite pale, y’know~? See? (Mamiya touches Sho’s hand) Your hand’s a bit warm, too.

SHO: (chuckles) Is that so? Well, maybe it is, since Takaaki’s hand feels cool and nice.

RUKA: Were you bad at handling your alcohol, Sho-kun?

RUKA: Like, your head feels floaty whenever you drink?

SHO: Hmm… I don’t think I’m particularly bad or good.

SHO: Though, it’s true that my head feels kind of floaty but, it doesn’t really go beyond that.

RUKA: Heh~ I’ll remember that~

SHO: Hm? Why would you want to remember that?

RUKA: When I know what my friends’ limits are, I can help them when they’re troubled about what to drink next or when they’re about to pass out, right~?

RUKA: I can handle my alcohol well so don’t hesitate to rely on me, ‘kay~

SHO: Thank you. Ruka’s very kind and reliable, huh?

MAMIYA: ROCK DOWN’s bonds are so dazzling~

MAMIYA: Alright! Then, Ouka will go home first in a taxi and then—

OUKA: Wait. Do you really think I’m that much of a loner to go home by taxi when you’re all walking?

MAMIYA: Yeah.

OUKA: (Ouka grabs Mamiya by the necktie) You should at least lie in a situation like this.

MAMIYA: (with a pained voice) O-O-Ouka-kun… Ouka-kun? Don’t pull my necktie…! My neck’s gonna fall off…!

MAMIYA: My neck’s gonna snap…!

RUKA: (smiles) VAZZY’s bonds are so tight, huh~!?

SHO: Ouka, calm down~

OUKA: Tch.

RUKA: So, that means~ Ouka-kun’s gonna walk with us?

OUKA: I am. Now that that’s decided, let’s get going.

OUKA: Let’s go. Hurry up and go.

RUKA: Yes sir~

MAMIYA: Y-yes…

[05:00]

RUKA: (singing) ♪ Let’s go on a walk, let’s go on a walk~! ♪

RUKA: (singing) ♪ I am the great Ruka-kun~! ♪

SHO: (chuckles) Ruka’s in a good mood, huh?

OUKA: I’d understand if that was his energy after drinking but, I’m surprised that he’s naturally like that.

OUKA: In a way, he’s pretty energetic.

MAMIYA: That’s to be expected. Ruka’s a stage actor after all.

MAMIYA: I think he’s got more energy than a certain someone here~ He’s got pretty great stamina.

OUKA: I see.

SHO: I’m so sorry, Ouka. We ended up going home by walking.

OUKA: Ah, no. If I’m being honest, I was the same as everyone else. I felt like going for a walk.

OUKA: That’s why you don’t have to mind it.

MAMIYA: Oh my~! You’re quite honest with Sho, aren’t you, Ouka?

OUKA: If someone tells me something directly, I answer as honestly as I can.

OUKA: That’s all there is to it.

MAMIYA: In other words, you’re rebellious when it comes to me?

RUKA: (smiles) Walking like this together with everyone feels kinda nice, huh~?

RUKA: The food and alcohol during the staff party was great, too! I’m extremely satisfied~

RUKA: I’m super happy!

OUKA: Ruka, your voice is too loud.

RUKA: (laughs) I’m sorry, Ouka-kun.

RUKA: I’m feeling good and the wind feels so nice~ I just got taken in by the atmosphere. (to Sho) Right~?

SHO: Hm? Yes~ (to Mamiya) Right?

MAMIYA: (to Ouka) Right~?

OUKA: Ruka and Sho aside, when Takaaki does it, it’s disgusting.

MAMIYA: So mean!

RUKA: Alright~! Sho-kun and I passed!

MAMIYA: Discrimination is not good, Ouka.

OUKA: Don’t hold on to me, you drunk.

MAMIYA: I didn’t drink any though~

MAMIYA: I only drank like, one beer and about two or three ciders.

RUKA: Me, too! Normally, I’d drink so much more but, I have to wake up early tomorrow.

RUKA: Hm… But, Takaaki-kun, Ouka-kun, Sho-kun, and I are kinda a rare combi so—

RUKA: Going home so early just kinda feels like a waste…

SHO: Even though you say that Ruka, Gaku asked me to take you home safely.

RUKA: Ack! That bastard…!

MAMIYA: As expected from his partner! He can read you like a book~

OUKA: You laugh at him and all that but, you need to wake up early for filming tomorrow, too.

OUKA: Walk properly, get home, and then go to sleep.

OUKA: Don’t tell me, “let me watch one video before going to sleep,” got it?

MAMIYA: (groans)

SHO: (laughs) Looks like he can read you well, too~

SHO: Although Takaaki takes his work seriously, there are times when he indulges himself, huh?

SHO: Just like me~

RUKA: I-I don’t think that’s something you should be smiling about, Sho-kun… (laughs nervously)

OUKA: Good grief… So, our leaders have the same weird tendencies.

SHO: Please don’t abandon me.

[08:19]

SHO: (gasps)

RUKA: Hm, what’s wrong, Sho-kun?

SHO: Look, Ruka. Since there are no buildings around, you can see the stars properly.

RUKA: Ah! It’s true!

RUKA: Woah~! Since when did I last see the stars like this~?

OUKA: We might have seen them but didn’t really notice them much.

MAMIYA: So, they can be seen properly even in the city, huh~!

OUKA: The stars I saw from my relative’s house when I was younger were even more amazing.

MAMIYA: Heh~ In the countryside?

OUKA: In Okayama Prefecture’s prefectural border.

OUKA: I was in elementary school back then probably. I went there about 2 or 3 times during summer vacation.

OUKA: In any case, the stars were so beautiful that I’d lay down and look up at them until my mother came to scold me.

OUKA: It’s such a vivid memory that when I close my eyes sometimes, I feel like I can still see them.

OUKA: The scent of incense, the squeaking of the wooden floorboards, the sound of the wind chimes, and the starry sky spreading from the night sky.

RUKA: When I imagine Ouka-kun with stars, it makes for such a perfect picture that I get scared~

RUKA: Ouka-kun, you really love stars, huh?

OUKA: I guess. I love them.

OUKA: Not just the stars but the universe in general. When it’s shown on T.V. I end up watching it completely.

MAMIYA: This is my first time hearing that~

OUKA: Have I not told you…?

OUKA: Don’t you generally prefer conversations where you can talk of anything compared to half-hearted ones that don’t fit your interests?

OUKA: It feels good to be able to talk about what you love, doesn’t it?

MAMIYA: I see~ That’s such a great reason that’s so fitting of you, Ouka.

RUKA: I love stars too but, not on a realistic scale, I guess.

RUKA: I love things with star designs! They can be cute or cool~!

RUKA: Oh, and they’re good luck~!

MAMIYA: Oh! Now that you mention it, I feel like a lot of your t-shirts and bags have star designs on them!

MAMIYA: Don’t you have shoes like that, too? Ya know, the ones designed with stars for buckles and stuff?

RUKA: As expected from Takaaki-kun! You’ve observed well, huh~? Those are my favorite~

RUKA: It’s the one I decorated with the make-up artist backstage! It’s the only one of its kind in the world~

RUKA: I wear them to feel in the mood before a play!

SHO: You really take acting seriously, huh~ Leaving it to luck is not manly, was it?

SHO: Though, you give me the impression that you would leave it to your own abilities.

RUKA: (laughs) That’s correct! That’s exactly it!

RUKA: Whether it’s luck or abilities, the one that wins in the end is the me who practiced a lot.

RUKA: The only superstition I believe are good luck charms, I guess.

RUKA: I usually feel like giving it my all when I’m acting since I can~

RUKA: Though, there are a lot of people on stage who believe in superstitions.

SHO: True. I think I have the same way of thinking. The world is not so simple that we can win on luck alone.

SHO: But, we can’t completely undermine luck and being lucky. That’s about it, I guess~

RUKA: Yep~! Samesies~

[11:43]

SHO: (chuckles) Hey, does everyone know the legend of Vega from the Lyra constellation? It’s one of the brightest stars in the Summer Triangle.

MAMIYA: That’s pretty sudden~ The Summer Triangle constellation is uh… Altair, Vega, and… Ah, Deneb! It’s that one, right?

MAMIYA: The only thing I know about it are the stars’ names.

OUKA: I’m the same.

RUKA: Wow, you’re amazing! I didn’t even know the stars’ names!

RUKA: I only know the words “Summer Triangle”.

SHO: (chuckles) That’s exactly it.

SHO: Lyra is the constellation that’s shaped like a musical instrument. It’s the lyre that appears in Greek mythology.

SHO: The story goes is that it’s Orpheus’s lyre up in the sky.

SHO: The legend says that Orpheus went to the Underworld to reclaim his departed wife.

SHO: He offered his music to the King of the Underworld and managed to charm him.

SHO: Though, it seems like he failed with his initial plans of bringing his beloved back.

SHO: I’ve been told this story when I was young and I remember admiring the music that was supposed to have swayed even the King of the Underworld’s heart.

SHO: I just remembered that suddenly.

RUKA: I feel like Sho-kun’s violin can shake the heart of the King of the Underworld, too~

SHO: No, no. I still have ways to go.

SHO: I think that the violin is something that I still have to learn for quite a long time.

SHO: It’s never-ending and it makes me feel a bit scared but, it has its own charm, too.

OUKA: It might be quite similar to the reason why I admire the universe.

OUKA: Something that we want to chase for an eternity.

RUKA: Ah, that kind of phrasing is perfect for my ideal stars!

RUKA: Something that we admire for eternity is something that we’d yearn for for a long time!

RUKA: Isn’t that cool~?

MAMIYA: I feel you. Though, it’d be a plus if I can make mine shorter.

MAMIYA: See? Just like those stars spreading above our heads right now.

MAMIYA: I can see them all the time and I feel like I can reach my hand out to them. They’re always watching over us.

MAMIYA: I was just thinking that it’d be nice if the fans thought of us like that, too.

OUKA: “Watching over” is so like you.

MAMIYA: Right?

SHO: Right now, we are the ones being watched over by the stars, huh?

SHO: Let’s continue to do our best so that we can become those kinds of admirable people~

RUKA: Yeah!

RUKA: (singing) ♪ Let’s go home, let’s go home~! I am the great Ruka-kun~! ♪

OUKA: Like I said, your voice is too loud.

MAMIYA: Alright, let’s sing together in a moderate tone then~

MAMIYA: Alright, Ouka, you too~!

OUKA: I won’t sing.

SHO: (chuckles) We’ll continue to make music that will shake your heart one day.

SHO: Beautiful and dazzling music just like the stars that’s dedicated for you.

==END==

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission.

If you like this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

#tsukipro #vazzrock #rock down #vazzy #mamiya takaaki #kira ouka #onoda sho #nadumi ruka #drama cd #vazzrock translations #my translations #ouka and stars apparently make for a perfect image~!#if only i could draw i would draw it lol #queued post

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

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Hmm i think i may have possibly settled on an idea for how to rewrite Kin and Gin to be more complex and potentially redeemable.

Gonna focus on The Big Family Love, because these siblibgs caring about each other so much its literally their battle power is already their best and only slightly sympathetic trait

So i was thinking about the whole 'hey here's another third sibling in the third version of the game' thing and had a BIG BRAINWAVE

What if kin and gin want to turn back time to fix a mistake in their past? And all the evil they do with manipulating other people's pasts is something that they regret having to do buy see as a necessary evil in order to achieve their goal.

Their goal? Bronzlow.

Why did he not appear in the original version of the game and wasnt even mentioned? Because he was DEAD.

Kin and Gin's goal in life is to save their baby brother who died when they were children. Maybe his 'funny' clumsiness and struggle to keep up with his sisters was very much not funny in this original timeline. One day the twins were teasing him over something or other, he messed up yet again and got their kite caught in a tree or something. And they were supoosed to be responsible when looking after the lil guy, but on that day they just happened to be a little short tempered with him and made the stupid decision to yell at him to get the kite back even though they knew he wasnt good at climbing. It was just a stupid mistake of some kids who were probably too young to be put in charge of babysitting their brother. He just.. Fell. Everything was over so fast. And it felt like time had forever stopped at that moment.

So they spent their whole lives trying to find a way to bring him back to life, even doing forbidden magic to become yokai and gain the power they needed to bend time. And they grew old and cynical and slowly lost their grip on morality, because the guilt just kept hauntinh them and the closer they got to making their dream come true the more they became tempted to let go of morals and hurt people in the desperation to finally achieve it...

And then this would be a good excuse for me to lets play one of the original versions of the game and then also the third one. And it could be interesting to set it up like this story with my oc is actually left hanging on the first playthrough and only fully completes after the third game. Like its all in the same continuity as if Mallory really did experience both games! Kin and gin's time travel messing up the future could be a good excuse to show all the different versions as alternate universe type things! And have it so that at some point Bronzlow just suddenly appears without explanation and everyone acts like he was always there. Which would lead to the reveal of the whole backstory and like.. Bronzlow is here now and looks like how he would if he'd lived a full long life, because their plan is almost complete. Theyre always sassing him and he's all funny comic relief but really all alpng he mattered more to them than anyone else and theyre so happy to see him again. And getting to see him again has made them so desperate to make it real that they'd even collapse time and space itself just to not have to let go of him again! Like what if some of his 'funny clumsy moments' are actually like.. Signs that he's not completely saved and the paradox is trying to correct itself? Like he doesnt remember that he died but his sisters do, he's just like 'wow i felt kinda dizzy there for a moment, im sorry' and 'huh i seem really forgetful lately' and he doesnt notice himself flickering in and out of existance and just DAMMIT IM GETTING REALLY EMOTIONAL ALREADY

And in the end of course kin and gin would have to face the fact that bronzlow wouldbt want them to bring him back if it meant other people had to get hurt. Thats why they tried to hide the truth from him, they knew he would sacrifice himself to fix the timeline and save everyone. And it could be super depressing with him joining you to fight his sisters even when he knows it'll kill him, and then the last moment of the fight is the time machine thing being broken and then a vision of the siblings as kids standing beneath that same tree, and the twins begging bronzlow to let them just stop time here and stay with him, if they cant save him then they want to die together... But there's no timeline where he'd ever say yes to that...

So umm yeah, the redemption fot these two would be finally accepting their grief instead of running from it, and you hug them and let them know that they have a second chance at a happy life. He never blamed them, they didnt have to destroy their own chance at happiness for his sake. He'd want them to go out and enjoy life, every time theyre smiling he'll be smiling with them...

I dunno i just think itd be a good way to make people care more about an underrated character. Cos from what ive heard about bronzlow he apparantly barely even talks, and really is just 'we added another one in the third version' with no more complexity than that. Kin and Gin already arent very popular so its understandable that their lil bro would be even more ignored, so this is an idea for how to make his low plot role a big plot role yet alsp at the same time get meta with thw low plot role itself being the big emotional tragedy...

Also i dunno if i'd actually find some way to bring him back eventually? Like as a reward for them at the end of their redemptive arc, maybe have them return in yw3 and help the heroes there and then after a loooong long journey they find another non-evil way to bring him back in the postgame. I dunno if itd dampen the emotional arc to bring him back tho? I feel like the importabt part os just that they learn not to hurt other people tp try and save their brother, as long as they actually finally give up and stop their evil plan it could still show the same amount of character growth if he does come back. Like it wouldbt be a moral-ruining 'yeah their evil plan actualky worked' kind of thing, just some different miracle happened, possibly directly caused BY them making the right choice? Like by confiding in others and not doing it all alone they finally manage to find the answer. But maybe have it happen some time after the endibg so the sadness still has enough time to breathe and it feels even happier when it eventually happens.

Also gives me an excuse to play out the credits sequence but with bronzlow vanishing out of that happy pic of them together. (Thanks to my friend who showed me that!)

#bunni plays yokai watch #kin and gin #bronzlow #there is literally only one post in the tags for any of them and it makes me sad #theyre such fabulous gremps they deserve a more complex plot and a love and hugs!!!

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comicteaparty · 6 years ago

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May 23rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 23rd, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! Our final Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like~! (https://maidenmachine.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

i think my favorite scene so far is when elizabeth and victor decide to sleep together. part in for its serious drama. theres so many questions about victor created from just the visuals, and then theres the stakes at hand of elizabeth's reputation. but then, there is also a good balance of comic relief to a degree since victor told her to ask no questions and she asks the one question that he probably didnt see coming. all around it was a pretty satisfactor culmination of their relationship so far at a juncture that felt natural.

another scene i really enjoyed was the ball scene where victor and eric are having a chat about elizabeth and then elizabeth and victor have a passionate liason. im mostly a fan cause of the dramatic convo. cause theres a deep and terrible sense that both characters truly know what their risking, what the situation is, and how they still are into each other. plus, its all very tense cause it just takes one person being in the wrong place at the wrong time to blow their cover.

honestly i think itd be accurate to say all my favorite scenes are with elizabeth and victor. romance is one of those genres i can struggle with, because theres always something missing. but oh man do i love the romance in this comic. there is nothing more i want than to see then elizabeth and victor finding a way to be together in spite society trying to kick that down at every turn.

i will give a special shout out to the scene where eric, abhaya, milo, and the cousin are meeting to discuss the affairs of the estate. i just like it because it basically shows all the characters' worst sides. abhaya is brash and reckless, milo is just kind of there, and eric is a greedy mofo. and whats worse is literally none of them thought to bring elizabeth. they may have their excuses of protecting her...but part of me still thinks thats a super dick move and shows even abhaya just kind of views elizabeth more as a pawn than a person. but all in all, nothing like money and estates to show off everyone's worst traits. it is very true to life, and i can respect that.

another non-victor/elizabeth scene i respect is the scene where elizabeth is out dress shopping and eric is like here i got you these dresses. just cause i knew eric was kind of a creep, but ho boy, he dialed the creep up to number 11 on a 10 meter scale. but at the same time, i think that really helped to erase all sympathy i might have had for him. thus paving the way for me to not really feel guilty on elizabeth's behalf for her trespasses against him.

mathtans

Hello, I made it... unfortunately this is a rather bad week, I only made it through the first two chapters.

RebelVampire

i also like scenes with west in them. cause I like that between all the people around Victor, West seems the most honest in a scoundrel sort of way. Which that is basically what I like about him in every scene. He causes trouble and pushes the limits, but at the same time hes always at least pretty upfront about his intentions.

thats unfortunate cause its a great comic, but glad to see you anyway math!

mathtans

Which kind of sucks, I like the whole concept of the kick ass ladies. Even the pirates.

Maybe I'll find time to read more in the background.

The bit I liked most of what I read I think was back in the first chapter, when Elizabeth makes the callback to when she got out of the ropes at the very start of the story. It was a nice subtle detail which I found very clever.

I'm not at your bits yet but I can see how the Elizabeth/Victor thing is being set up. Also there seems to be some question of whether Abhaya likes him... or possibly other ladies? I may be reading my own interests into that.

RebelVampire

you may be reading your own interests but later on there is a female character i ship abhaya with atm

so there is that

i dont think youve met her yet tho

mathtans

Also, yeah, the whole estate thing creates an interesting dynamic. That was a clever way of using the period to generate conflicts.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. A large focus of the comic is on Elizabeth and Victor’s relationship. At the end of the day, do you think the two will find a way to be together? If so, how will they get over the scandal Elizabeth would face and the fact those around Victor want him to marry a titled woman? If you don’t believe they’ll find a way to stay together, what will stop them? Further, given the most recent events, how will Eric Wollstonecraft play a role in the future of their love story? How does the narration framing seen where Elizabeth is addressing her potential son affect your opinion? How do you think that future came about, and how soon will it come to pass? Last, what do you think of their relationship in terms of Elizabeth wanting to make her own choices in life?

mathtans

I ship Abhaya with everyone.

RebelVampire

yeah i have to say if theres one thing i appreciate its combination of progressive themes while at the same time acknowledging that the period was not the friendliest towards these things

especially in regards to how elizabeth is treated since her only purpose apparently to everyone is to get hitched to a titled guy

and i mean

thats depressing

yet also true to the period

even though we get to see elizabeth take a journey and reject those social conventions

in regards to the current question, i am choosing not to think about whether in the long term elizabeth and victor will get together for the rest of their lives. because if they dont i will cry but i could see this realistically being the case given the tone of the narration. cause that...does not sound like an elizabeth who lives in eternal happiness.

mathtans

Back, sorry. Yeah, I'm usually not much of one for period pieces, but I like the narrative viewpoint. Also, pretty neat airships.

There was the point where she talked about leaving Victor behind back in Chapter 1 (I don't recall the exact circumstances) but I wondered if it was because he causes her heartache, or just because it make their lives more complicated.

Incidentally, the first thing I thought of with the name "Lovelace" was Lady Ada Lovelace. The mathematician. Not sure if that was an intentional reference to another well regarded woman.

RebelVampire

i love period pieces but i think the steampunk aspects help twist it enough to make it a bit more unique.

mathtans

(I don't think the time frames synch up but I don't recall when the comic takes place...)

Oh, it's definitely unique. I like the gadget aspect too.

RebelVampire

i would not be surprised if the name choice was purposeful. if only because the comic has lots of strong ladies. i doubt well see any real historical figures though.

i appreciate that the comic actually kind of starts off with the airship escapade

cause it really showcases the ways in which their world differs

where you get airships

and sky pirates

mathtans

That's a good point. Helps with the world building before we get down into some of the classic period issues.

RebelVampire

yes. and i also kind of like it starts off more action-y. not that there isnt action bits later mind you. but more i think it helps set up the main conflict while tying in the romance. because it makes it so the romance isnt some forced subplot. rather its kind of integral and has as much to do with the whole highjacking as the rest of the story. since later on youll see that elizabeth's proximity to victor keeps bring that part of the story into the limelight

mathtans

That's a good point, in terms of tying things together. Also possibly sets up a key antagonist (or at least revenge plot) in that burned pirate lady.

RebelVampire

she does come back

i will spoil that much

mathtans

I figured she had to some time, whether it was by the present updates or not.

I've resumed reading a bit in the background. Seems like both the Watson ladies are doing their best to get arrested. ^.^

RebelVampire

well at least Abhaya is.

cause Abhaya is a risk taker who puts herself in many situations where people are gonna stop and stare

mathtans

Well, yes. But Elizabeth also seems to be taking risks where Victor is concerned. Or at least stepping out of her comfort zone.

Certain people have certain effects on us I guess.

RebelVampire

nah thats true. I just think Elizabeth just takes more social risks. Like not the kind that are gonna get her arrested, but more the kind that are gonna get her socially shunned.

whereas Abhaya is the punch one who is gonna get charged with assault

mathtans

That seems like a valid viewpoint. It fits with their personalities when we saw them in their youth.

The cutting back and forth between the two sisters in Chapter 3 is well done.

RebelVampire

yeah in general i like the PoV switching of the comic. because every scene is pretty well-chosen and advances the plot in some manner. and it lets us see others parts of the comic developing. cause later on you do get to see more of victor without elizabeth some and get to go "hmm" to all that hes up to.

mathtans

Ha! I like Chapter 3, page 31, where all the dialogue seems to fade out as Victor touches her. Cute.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Besides romance, there is a larger plot posing real and deadly danger to the characters. Who do you think the Angel is? What are the Angel’s goals, and why is she excessively targeting Victor? Further, what do you think the source of her power is? Also, what does have kidnapping people like Ambrose have to do with her goals? Alternatively, is Ambrose there of his own free will (and if so, why)? Considering Abhaya is being sought by Amabel for help, what do you think Abhaya will do? Will Abhaya be able to uncover more of the truth, or is Abhaya just going to get herself into more trouble? How will Abhaya’s involvement affect Elizabeth and herself? Last, can Amabel be trusted, or is it possible she’ll abandon Abhaya when Abhaya might need her?

spoiler Amabel is who I ship Abhaya with

mathtans

Related to those questions, I do wonder a bit if Victor has a sordid past or something. Like maybe his empire wasn't entirely built on the up-and-up... with his knowledge or possibly without it. So there could be a reason there for him to be targeted.

I've looked on the character page and I approve this ship.

RebelVampire

oh yeah. Victor is 100% definitely a scoundrel. There is one scenes that really hints at this, but even before that i agree with you. Victor is not on the up and up entirely. I don't think he made his fortune without cracking a few skulls.

although idk if this is what makes him a target persay

or maybe it oes

but more in the way hes done the forbidden when it comes to tech

mathtans

Was he totally aware of the repercussions of whatever he did though? Because the people around him seem to like to keep him in the dark.

brb

RebelVampire

im sure he knew the repercussions. the people around him are more about keeping him in the dark about romantic matters. cause as was implied by one of the questions later on you find out the main thing ppl arent telling victor is that elizabeth is just there to open him up to the idea of marriage so he can marry a titled lady

cause everyone is all about those titles

In regards to the current question while you're away, I think Abhaya will help Amabel and get herself caught and get into a whole mess of trouble that for once, Elizabeth will have to break her out of. But I think it'll be a dual sword cause I do think Elizabeth's relationship to both Abhaya and Victor is gonna put her in the crosshairs. cause like, what an easy way to get Victor to show up. Get Elizabeth, tell Victor you'll never see her again if you don't show up.

as for the angel's goals, I feel shes on a path of vengence against the entire world, but particularly victor cause hes high up there in the industrialist chain

and knows something she doesnt and that she needs to bring her plans to fruition

mathtans

Back. Okay, that does make sense, darn titles.

Interesting, this Angel talk. I wonder if it's the same "angel" we see in the title card for Chapter 2?

Sounds like you think it's not personal, the Angel's path, merely that Victor is a convenient figurehead.

RebelVampire

i mean the angel is kind of the one from the title card. those are her wings for sure, though she doesnt look quite like that the one time you meet her

it could be personal, but i feel like the angel just has bigger fish to fry

from the impression i got from her

since shes kidnapping a ton of ppl

and you dont need to kidnap ppl to your cause if all youre doing is hunting down some industrialist

who almost got caught

if not for abhaya and elizabeth

mathtans

Ah, so she's the one behind the disappearances then.

(Still reading in the background.)

RebelVampire

yes. i mean its pretty implied but you get confirmation later that yes its her. though you can definitely speculate on the why

cause i have no clue

shes still enigmatic

mathtans

Looking for a husband? ^.^

RebelVampire

shes reading the wrong romance advice book

when elizabeth and her meet, elizabeth will point her in the right direction

and the angel is like "oh wait so youre not supposed to kidnap them? huh?"

mathtans

And then we ship Angel and Elizabeth.

RebelVampire

no. ill ship Abhaya and Angel

Elizabeth and Victor are the OTP

i said but then was like "nah id totally ship Elizabeth with West"

mathtans

Heh. That's fair, they are the main couple. Though West is an interesting guy, just needs to learn social cues.

RebelVampire

nah thats why west is amazing

he doesnt know social cues

and is awkward

yet helpful

and hes the only dude of victor's who seems to be in elizabeth's corner

mathtans

Right. I think it was said that he's not used to the lifestyle?

RebelVampire

yes that is what he said

which makes me want a side chapter just about what he did before he came to victor

cause i dont feel like victor would just hire some rando. he must of seen something in west

mathtans

Maybe he took pity on the guy, something about the scar.

RebelVampire

that could be cause victor understands the burden of scars

or something like that

whereas i just think west's scar gives him character

QUESTION 4. Mixed in with the present drama is a lot of unsolved past drama. Who do you think Victor really is? What do you think happened to Victor based on Milo’s story that he was telling Abhaya? How do you think Victor managed to overcome this to become the person he is today? Also, what do you make of the room Victor seemed to have sealed off in his house? Besides Victor, there is also a lot of drama between Jules, Abhaya, and Milo. What do you think happened between the three of them that managed to damage their relationship forever? Will spending more time together heal their wounds, or is it impossible at this point? Further, what was Jules up to the whole time he was away with Victor? Last, what do you think Jules’ goals were for introducing Elizabeth and Victor, and why does he seem immensely conflicted about her presence?

mathtans

Sorry, biab

RebelVampire

kay

I think Victor was some fellow servant kid who was Jules' only friend after Jules got sent away. And then Victor almost died. Although I'm changing my previous speculations. Maybe the Angel is more literal and she literally showed up, saved Victor with tech with the promise to return, and then left. So now shes back for her comeuppance. Meanwhile, Victor decided technology was great and he needed to bring it to the world cause it was what would keep him alive and save others.

as for the three, at this juncture it seems pretty heavily implied Milo and Jules were in a relationship and that Milo called off the wedding to Abhaya cause he didnt want to live a lie in regards to how he felt about Jules. Regardless of the what, while Milo i feel will legitimately forgive and forget, I dont feel Abhaya or Jules will. Abhaya cause she doesnt seem the type to ever forgive ever. And to just hold onto her hatred and seethe. Jules in the meantime I think wont forgive until he gets revenge in some way. Cause the two probably betrayed his trust big time and he kind of got the most screwed over by what happened

i think Jules wanted them to meet for the exact reason that the others implied: they want Victor to warm up to the idea of women so he can get married. However, I feel Jules now feels like a jerk who is taking out his anger at Abhaya on Elizabeth who had 0% to do with what happened between the three. and yet he knows hes in too deep to turn back now.

mathtans

Could be that Victor was initially poor... in fact maybe he married into the company somehow? Could the Angel be his wife? o.o

I wondered about Milo and Jules. My initial thought had been that Abhaya had called off the engagement though, so that's an interesting other look at things.

Jules and Elizabeth were close too, back in the day. One wonders if he's that good at seeing how things play out long term.

RebelVampire

nah its definitely his company. but victor was probably poor. if only cause everyone calls him new money. so it means he has no predecessor parent who made their fortune.

Jules strikes me more as the type who things hes great at planning but really, really, really isnt

and then tons of consequences come about that he has to accept and deal with

mathtans

That makes sense and could explain the sympathy for West too, maybe he knows West even though it doesn't necessarily go both ways.

Yeah, Jules seems to think he's got everything well in hand but he doesn't seem to account for the human factor.

Made it to the end of Chapter 4/Act 1 now. Apparently the Angel kidnaps people to literally graft wings onto her spine. Ouch.

Interesting callback to Victor's wounded leg though.

RebelVampire

i think even more than the human factor, Jules is just bad at making plan Bs for when things do go wrong. then panics and makes bad decisions

like not telling victor the factory is in danger

mathtans

Maybe that thing that Victor has in the factory is a time machine. Turns out he's actually from the future, he brought back all the technology and that's why the Angel is after him, she thinks it's stolen.

You're not wrong there, about Jules.

RebelVampire

ya know...i can support this time traveler theory. i mean it doesnt quite fit considering flashbacks

but id 100% buy victor built a time machine

cause why not

victor is amazing

mathtans

Maybe his company is corrupt because they're still trying to get the patents.

RebelVampire

i mean

its a company

so its probably corrupt to some degree regardless

mathtans

That's also a good point.

RebelVampire

i mean i can point out the fact they want victor to marry a titled lady to be a form of corruption. cause thats just marrying someone to advance your social standing for the business

mathtans

I guess we're near the end... haven't said anything about the art yet. I suppose I like the shading, and I thought the sound effect use was clever.

Need someone to star in the commercials.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my wife loves this new device I call a roomba."

RebelVampire

i really love the clothes. i mean theyre simple, and yet all seem to fit within the period that this comic is trying to go for

but if they get a roomba what are the house wives supposed to do

not sit at home cooking and cleaning all day?

also about the art, i really love the steampunk designs. you can definitely tell the steampunk inspiration in them, yet theyre really unique and not really like any steampunk ive seen before

and i can for sure appreciate uniqueness

mathtans

Yeah, that's true. And there was that neat detail of the corset being laced up the front, I wouldn't have thought of that.

Uniqueness is good. I wonder what the machine connection will end up being.

With the whole "maiden of the machine" thing there. (Won't be a roomba, after all.)

RebelVampire

ah thats a good point as well. i loved that detail about the maid being able to tell elizabeth didnt have a maid

mathtans

Maybe Elizabeth gets upgraded too.

RebelVampire

the comic was about the angel all along

and the angel's victory

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up our final Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Caitlin Like, as well, for making Maiden of the Machine. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Caitlin Like’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://maidenmachine.com/

Caitlin Like’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/CaitlinLike

Caitlin Like’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/caitlike

Caitlin Like’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/caitlike

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #maiden of the machine #caitlin like

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rigginsstreet · 7 years ago

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this got SUPER long so its going under the cut but this is the f*lice rant i was talking about lmao enjoy! (full disclosure i also end up going on a fredsythe rant because i gotta, ok. yall gonna make me sit through this stupid ass storyline when a better one is RIGHT FUCKING THERE so yeah, im mad. fp jones also likes men get over it.)

Sorry but there's literally nothing new inventive shocking or compelling about a storyline where two grown ass straight MARRIED adults are pining over each other because they had some weird romantic connection nearly 30 fucking years ago that may or may not have resulted in a fucking teenage pregnancy that im sure NOBODY wanted like yall really out here wanting me to believe what? alice cheated on her boyfriend and got knocked up by a dude who represented everything she was trying to get away from? and she told hal the kid was fps but never told fp himself? because that makes all of ZERO FUCKING SENSE! even if they wanted to throw out “well alice and hal were broken up at the time” its still SO out of character for alice like i know she had her wild child serpent days but its not something she looks back on with fondness so why the HELL does anyone think its a good idea to set her up with the fucking LEADER of the entire GANG are you all sniffing glue?? and then theyre trying to sit here and vilify hal so that we root for alice to hook up with fp in present day? the fuck outta here im not about to sit and cheer on alice’s character regression. first of all yall need to stop getting mad at 17 year old hal for not wanting to be a father and handling this situation poorly he was a TEENAGE BOY i know yall think everyone needs to be pristine angels from birth but thats not how life works and second of all he has every right to be sketched out that his daughter brought forth her long lost brother to fill in the void polly left, especially when the first time hal sees chic hes fucking BLEEDING after being attacked for god knows what reason in hals mind like... im team hal on this one he’s the only one with some self preservation alice and betty about to get themselves killed i s2g all these dumb ass decisions are being made, which in itself is bad enough, but to make it so obvious that this is all being done to eventually prop up a ship that is the very definition of fan service, is beyond ridiculous and terrible writing. like i get it. madchen and skeet are hot and have chemistry (which...btw....literally all the parents have insane chemistry with each other but no focus on the boring obvious straight pairing i guess but oh do not worry i have more to say on that later) i get it. but what is the purpose of that if you cant write an interesting story? and dont get me started on how shoehorned this recent ~connection~ is like yes i admit in s1 i got vibes from them (which, stay on this blog for 5 minutes and you will soon realize i can romantically/sexually connect pretty much any pairing amongst the parents because, like i said, they all have insane chemistry and they all say weird shit to each other). but i cannot believe yall sat here and thought the whole sexual frustration comment after fp got out of prison or the “leave him” exchange felt authentic??? like is it me? am i the one in the twilight zone? somebody help me out here. alice and fp in s1 couldnt stand each other and now shes all joking about his sex life ?? fp almost started a huge fight during that dinner with her and hal and the kids and yet im supposed to believe he’s been pining after her all these years?? like maybe id have an easier time believing this shit if i hadnt seen how he interacts with fred (oh yes. we’re going there because im tired of this HETERO NONSENSE GOING ON ALL THE TIME IN TELEVISION WHEN THEYVE LITERALLY SET UP BETTER OPPORTUNITIES FOR SAME SEX RELATIONSHIPS IM IN A MOOD SO WE’RE GOING ALL OUT) but to close off this part of my rant (oh and i didnt even touch upon how gross itd be for betty and jughead to share a sibling lmfao but that should be self explanatory): there is literally no conceivable way for this shit to go down and not make me lose respect for alice (fp i can give a slight pass to on the front of he and his wife being separate, but even then if he goes after alice while she’s still with hal....you done fucked up). first of all, going after your daughters boyfriends/ex boyfriends father is weird. second of all, if chic is in fact hals son, then they need to work on bringing the family together. hal is not a lost cause. chic is creepy as hell if anything i can see him pulling some shit that brings betty hal and alice closer together but no that makes too much sense so the writers probably wont do that! so theyre either gonna continue to push hal out so that itll be “acceptable” for alice to run to fp, or hal has to literally just fucking die and then what? alice goes to fp in her time of grief? im gonna throw up.

and now on to the gay shit

im supposed to compare f*lice and fredsythe scenes and come out thinking alice was the one he was in love with? bitch WHERE? fp has a sordid past with both alice and fred for different reasons. we dont know the full extent of what happened with alice (if anything but for the sake of predictability that i know to expect from a cw show, lets say they do) but given how they interact with each other we can assume it was bad. and we all know fred and fps history and how dark that got for fp (like i literally wrote up a whole thing about it if you want a link i’ll send it to you) and yet no matter the past, fp had probably his most lightest moment of the show with fred. he was willing to drop everything and help fred and soon as he asked (which, btw, fred didnt even ask for help. fp knew he was in trouble and that was it. thats all he needed and he was there for fred). THAT is love, ok. THAT is a relationship worth delving into beyond 2 friggen episodes in season 1. And yes this same storyline thats been given to f*lice with this whole adultery nonsense, but with fp and Fred, would actually be interesting because two gay kids in the early 90s actually have a valid reason for not being together and not ending up together. and then you add on that fps from the south side and fred the north, and that makes things even more complicated for them because then you can have a whole scenario of fp thinking hes not good enough for fred and ending things because of his own insecurities, his way of trying to push fred towards a better life... like THAT makes sense. even if fred and fp were never a thing and you just went with fp being in love with his best friend all these years and he could never have him (which still makes sense because i mean come on, freds casanova ways in high school with the ladies? fp sitting on the sidelines trying to be a supportive best friend but dying on the inside, never telling fred how he feels?) not to mention like half the serpents are gay as hell and there would be such a great story to tell for why all these gay south side kids end up in the same gang under fps wing, because he’s making up for his own shitty upbringing, he wants these kids to know someones looking out for them like...if the writers need plots and backstory I can give you them for free it really didn't take a lot of brainpower but no by all means tell me how the two ~straight~ kids who grew up on the same side of town under virtually the same circumstances, one of whom wanted NOTHING MORE THAN TO SHED HER SERPENT IMAGE AND CREATE A BETTER LIFE FOR HERSELF, and the other who keeps going on about wanting to put his family back together, had such a tragic backstory and its not just a blatant midlife crisis on both their ends. please. by all means. enlighten me. 😒

#i hate bad tv writing lmao like bruh...#BISEXUAL FP JONES BEING IN LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND FOR DECADES MAKES MORE SENSE THAN STRAIGHT FP JONES CHASING AFTER A MARRIED WOMAN #THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK !#bewareoftrips #kxvinkeller #i know you guys wanted the rant lol

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hopeheartfilia · 4 years ago

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My notes from when I watched CQL Part two. I think the missing parts are probably from when I binged while my phone was off/in a different room

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You can't just leave your boyfriend like that asleep on a rooftpot because he's an alchoholic

So I was looking at a post rating the actual swords, and I just went I dont know their sword names yet. then i just burst out laughing, why am I like this (sleep deprivation)

I wanna see Wwx with red lipstick. Blood would also work. I just thing it'd match his clothes really well

Ahhh Len Zhang, my boy, how are you? How is your leg? Im worried

/// so my ridiculous theories start ///

Also Making some ridiculous connections between clothing, the name Ying which Ive heard and how Wei seems to be dark and a necromancer of sorts. so Basically, Hes from another family. And it has some history with the wens. Their colour was Black, because they were connected to death, and the Wens colour was red, because they were connected to fire (and blood, in the healing part of the family) But then the two families united, and were great allies, untill the currents grandmasters brother went to kill them all, with only Weis grandmother (and maybe grandfather) surviving, making him the sole Ying left. (i was thinking of paternal grandparents so not Baoshan Sanren)

Of course this is nothing compared to my story of Wei only making two promises in his life, to stop bringing back his mother and to help Lan (so this is some really What the fuck was I thinking AU material)

I should elaborate on that

Anyway very much several episodes ahead, Im worried about Wen Ning, hes trying to get Jin Chang and two bodies out, and someone is going to find out it was him, and thats no good

Ah. Its friday.

I know my boy is in a state, but does he have to treat my other boy like that? Don't at Wen Ning, its illegal. (futute me seconds that) I know youre worried and grieving and scared and suspicious, but dont treat Wen Ning like that, Wei

Loah my empathy is so fucking low. **this was just a paragraph about me and quarantine**

Is wei gonna do a soul transplantation(golden core transfer) ? Like bitch, honestly, I know youre gonna become a necromancer, but youre so talented at using spirit magic, Itd be a waste, to loose yours so your brother can use it. Honestly

he totally is, bastard. Cant you like. Steal one. There are plenty of folk Id rather loose the ability to use spiritual enegry then you

Bitch be plotting stuff. I can see the Plot that will definetly have horrible consequences on Wei Wuxien spesifically

//once more whack predictions time//

I have a very complex story of why Wei doesnt like dogs, including his grandma (headcannoned as paternal at the time) liking them, one of them bitting his leg off and him only being able to use his leg at all because of innate necromancy, but I feel the actual story will break my heart into so many pieces (honestly I was so sleep deprived its no wonder my theories were so whack but also. Why)

So are they going to pretend to take him up and then do a circle and do the spell there and then go another way once more?

I'm still like. And the effects of the violet whip? Didnt Wei also get the absolute shit beaten out of him and then aggravate his injuries further? Did we forget about that or is it just a Wei thing?

If this is actually Yuiling sect, Id be suprised, but now at least we know why his villain name be like that

Her reasonable paranoia is interesting (oh about uh. wang lingjiao. Wen Chaos mistress)

Is it actually Wei taking the time to be a little shit, or is it not

Wei, just because youre a necrotic bard now doesnt mean you should scare your future husband *

He is not going against you. Also how can you tell him that outsiders cannot possibly know your heart when he wants to so badly! Why Is this reunion like that. Can't they just talk about rabbits and stare wistfully at eachother

*Same applies to your angel of a sister

Me, under mu breath, at A Yao "~dont trust a hoe, never trust a hoe, dont trust me"

Smol bastard is evil but highly entertaining. But bitch better not make life harder for Wei Wuxien and the people he cares for. Also how dare he slaughter the innocent of the Wan clan. Did he give his father poison from the Makes one very sick type. (?? that last sentence just)

How. many daddies does he have anyway

I literally petted the screen when Lan Zhan showed, he looks so worried

Break a rule, go into the forbidden room anyway, Youre waaay too worried about your boyfriend to sleep anyway. You've already gotten drunk on the grounds, its not the first time you're breaking a rule because of Wei. I sound a bit like "the devil on his shoulder"

.. because.. You think he is being corrupted by the influence of Wei Wuxien?

Wei wuxien, looking more depressed then me in 8th grade, trying to cope with trauma via alcohol : I promise I want slack so much anymore, shishie (Shijie)

Like bitch did you have to make me cry like that, Take it easy, you don't need to be alright, its okay to not be fine, just try and find a healthier coping mechanism then alchohol maybe?

I didn't cry over nobodies death, but I cried over the conversation between Wei Ying and his older sister, like THATS a teargerker, Can we get Wei Ying a hug and some theraphy?

Oh the boy is smiling, praise, hes having a good day

What Im advocating is for him to drink water, sleep, and eat regularly, maybe some physical activity, I think he has sword related trauma so Im definetly not pushing for Syinbin(wheeze) to accidentally become that cursed sword, which I feel has happened with other swords, but anyway, He can still do some training, teach the kids archery (i forgot about that theory actually)

"AXian is my brother. To me others humiliating him is not a small matter" Damn it Lady Jiang, why do you always make me cry so hard, I lvoe you so much, shes the best person ever and knowing that she dies is one of the greatest wounds this show could give me

Sometimes, getting locked up by fear is better, then lashing out. Im saying this spesifically at that bitch. Just because hes scared that Lady Jiang Yanli will not return his affections, doesnt mean he gets to berate her when shes never done nothing wrong in her life ever

We Wuxien! Wei Wuxien go and help Wen Quing!

Lan Zhan be like Wei Yings got enought of this shit, if life wants to fuck him over I just like, won't let it. I want to hide him away so he'd never get traumatised again by anything ever, I want to keep him close to me so I know hes alright and I want him to never get hurt again. But without actually saying most of that, its context. And his brother knows him too well. Hes Like. I want to bring someone back home. And his brother is like Yeah I know you want to mary Wei Wuxien, but even when youre married I don't think hed agree to being hidden away to keep him safe brother

And like Wuxien just isn't a stay at home husband, hes a Get into trouble everywhere at all times sort of person

No matter how much you try, trouble will always find him, the universe reaaallly wants to fuck him over and he doesnt seem to care for his own wellbeing much, so even if he wants to spend eternity with you, he promised to protect his brother and sister

Wei Wuxien, the fuck happened, are you alright? Is Lady Wan alright? Did you help her? Why do you look so angry? Pls dont kill anyone, its not good for your siblingses reputation

Is... Is... Is wei wuxien scared of dogs because they chased him on the street? Im. Im going to cry. Hes talking to Wen Quing right now, I just had the time to think about it just now. Oh our precious boi, he reallly doesnt deserve this shit

Shes sooo much like his brother, but also Wei instead. She went to eat her food in exactly the same way, but the scene parallels how The old jiang found Ying, and she wants to save her family, not herself, which is exactly the lack of self preservation she shares with Wei Ying

Daaamn, Lan Zhan be coming thruuuuu, Was he wrong thou, bitch reminder to never ever speak ill of his husband in his presence, dont you ever disrespect Wei Wuxien in front of him or Jiang Yanli

A Niang!!?!!! This is. Of all the. I thought that as Jiang san crying over her husbands body, this is so so much worse then i thought Niangs death eould be. They they. Wan Niang did not deserve any of this

... Which one? Youve made a bunch of promises with one another. You could be talking about how you promised to try not to repeat Lady Lans (with the.. harp. thing. The Ice cold cave) mistakes, not to do demon cultivation, to help Ying..

I literally went over the character limit. But also the unspoken one to stand by eachtohers side, no matter what

Im just. Not okay I promise(look mcr just happens sometimes but damn it do they have to have a heartwrenching farewell right now? its gonna break my heart if they do

Oooh thaat one, is there a special word for lantern promise?

Bitch the fuck. Ive already seen rants about the tranlslation an like aaaah. This is very much. Look Lan Zhan looks like a fair maiden, keeping their composure while the one she loves goes away on a quest for what they think is right, and its very dramatic and sad

Lan Zhan is crying. Me too

Mianmian stormed off. Such mad respect. Lan Zhan too, the boy doesnt deserve to be faced with this slander right after his boyfriend left

ep 27. The mango juice commercial. I died laughing

Me, stopping the show op "Is that a flute?" No, its the pipes actually, my ears dont like that high tone

He may be full of hismelf but hes a good boi. I know you like her and hes comforting her and you cant read between the lines but the spelling is "I promised her I would, I gave them hope and I am not willing to take it away" Im sorry you never learned to speak Wuxian btw, but hes cleaely trying his best

****

Lan Zhan is listening to people berate his husband and he is suffering. and its worse, because I know the only reason hed be digging up corpses is to plant fucking radishes

Like. Dead things are usually good land fertilizer actually

This is hilarious. Lan Zhan, now his dad

"I gave birth to" Biitch, I know youre thristy and in love, but just because you want to be a family doesnt mean you have to be the mother, You can both be his dads, he has an aunt

Awww loook at his soft smile. #when the love of your life is good with children. Lan Zhan is literally melting

Theyre a little cute family. This isnt very telling thou, given how Wei is not a resposnable adult in any way, theyre comunity raising the kid, and hes the fun dad. Now Lan Zhan has outfunned him in dad and hes the whacky dad

That bloody mango commercial again, oh also papaya? Maybe. Its a bit more in place here thou. Not as bloody hilarious. Basically part 28 happened, Im death, is that kid the really nice Lan diciple we met? Because. Thatd be. Adorbale. Real sad but adorbale

Aahhh. Now Lan Zhan is being father material, Wei and I are both like Awww

I havent felt like dying that much because of their reunions, are they just going to keep getting worse? its not a bad feeling its just a feeling

Im honest to bob scared of this show, I know it will hurt me and In scured

"Fics in this fandom can be really dumb" I said and then got the most detached look on my face when I thought about why.

Oh that was a weird family thing

Also theyre so cute, Imagine thinking wwx was asocial. I mean a bit introverted maybe

Also, its alright Ying, I miss your sister too

Im appaled. Why is he such a little shit. Even I am less of a little shit. Just by a bit but less (what I mean is, dont bloody use Wen Ning to do your work. Hes too sweet)

I wanna watch the next episode, but Im sleepy and tired, the mountain episodes tired me, everything tires me, I dont know why Im so emotionally drained. Some good old fashioned going around and solving misteries about ill meaning spirits would definitely help me thou. With Lan zhan of course

Me: Hasnt even finished the show yet, already reading fanfics, because the show is hurting me

My favourite ship dynamic is apparently Stoic character thats very gay and knows it, has some trouble with emoting+ Human (maybe a demon who knows, drink the blood of your enemies, here for a good time not a long time) disaster instigator filled with sass and no self preservation (This is because its the perfect formula for me to relate. Like on everylevel but physical I am wei wuxian, but also relate to the gay suffering of lan zhan. This is also the exact formula of andreil too. I AM Neil josten, but Im also depressed, love knives and feel the gay in this sweeties tonight)

Why dont You sell the radishes, you lil bitch. Im sorry Wei Wuxian is bringing out my sincere contempt when using Wen Ning. Local zombie is too good for older brother, Ive probably acted in a simular manner towards MY younger brother

Yanli and Wei Ying have that profound skill of making me cry like a little bitch.

Being whipped for Yanli is Jins best character trait

I can see them signing their death sentences everytime they offend Meng Yao, like bitch thats no way to speak to a slytherin, have you no self preservation (ep 30 btw, I have a feeling he will only do more suspicious murder in the future, so saying when it happens. Right before Rulans first month celebration).

Bish you were dare, what are you trying to start at Wei. Like let the boy reest, hes been trought enough shit. Logically I know it will only be getting worse, thats why I put off actually watching the episodes, they hurt me

What I mean is I know Yenli dies and I wont survive it. I think Wen Qing may also day, Wont survive that either. Wen Ning also dies but We see that he still exists, may wake up his intelligence again, who knows, Jiang sect, The impossible. But like. Yanli dying. Cant he like. bring her back, he's a necrotic bard not a druid

I also know Wei dies, which will hurt, but he comes back.

Lotuses in the burial mounds are best thing, but also I expected them to turn red? Idk I thought water from the blood pool might seep thru and turn them red

I hope A Ning isnt killing anyone, being attacked and letting everyone live is better for court

Fuck no shit fuck!!! You just killed your sisters husband?!!! Well I dont think you did it on purpose but this is shiiiit. Like Fuck. Bloody hell. This will have sooo many consequences. Worst of all, Yanli will be sad!!!!

Why does the universe hate our boy(s)

How Im deciding to continue this ep: Gulped some wine, Lied that Im fine

This was supposed to be a happy episode!! Where we get to see Yanli again!!! Why must i suffer!!

Nooo, theyre telling Yanli, I dont want to see this, nooo

She shouldn't suffer like that!!! I. No. Fix if fic, Ill read

Nooo, dont take it out on Wen Ning! Hes a sweetheart and obviously wasnt in control!! Take it out on the rocks? I dunno just. I dont know.

But. No not AYuan, calm down, play some music? Get a hug? Dont hurt my boi? Youre also my boi so thats double hurt. Im becoming my grandma, talking to a very long TV drama

Im. not okay and I dont know if I can finish this episode its hard

Me, on the kicthen floor with the laptop, a double or triple whiskey on the rocks next to me, After Ive downed almost that amount like a shot a half an hour back, a lavash(the flat armenian bread) wrap next to me, Finally strating the epsiode like :Bitch Im not ready but Im doing this

Shijie, shijie, you want to kill me on the inside, youve done it, i cnat. Im progresively getting drunker. Before I had a thought of, am I copying Weis coping mechanisms? But No i was like that before i started watching this show, I just kin him

(cursed, also I havent really been drinking like in general so thats not a problem anymore)

I have not watched a single episode of the untamed today and it didnt make me more productive, I need to get my ass in gear but also it shows how emotionally unprepared Im for whats about to go down

Should these two husbands really be fighting? if he isnt touching his brother.. well obviously so Lan Zhan would be the one to kill him but still

Who be playing the flute

Which bitch. Is is meng yao? But he doesnt know how to flute?

Why am I watching this. Why am I doing this to myself. At least I didnt see Wan Qing die, I cam pretend shes alright. She isnt but I can pretend reaaaally hard. Im gonna make both of them portraits

I have trouble seeibg too much tears

My face was doing what Jiang changs face was doing, fpr context. Im in mourning. Im just. Ill make her a drawing. abig one. Read mlre fix it fics then i eont even know. Draw flowers. Wear white.

Im wondering if I should post my notes from when I watched the untamed

Maybe I should add notes on the end of the notes from recent me and how things have changed, but I dont want to make decisions

#cql #cheng qing ling #the untamed #mdzs #have hope for the xianxia gays #mdzs spoilers #cql spoilers #the untamed spoilers #as you can see Im very emotionally attached to Jiang Yanli #also how did I manage to skip most of cloud recess? idk #uhm i left some misspellings be for emotional impact or whatever #also i did actually wear more white for abit after that! and Im currently drawing jiang yanli again

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mestos · 8 years ago

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Hope you all have a great day!!

Below is just something personal to me, but I need to get it off my chest, so please go along ^_^

Everyone has a different perception love and the idea that everyone needs to fall in love in youth is overexaggerated, and I know that. But doesn't mean that i can't be someone who wants to fall in love or be in a relationship while I’m in my youth.

You can call me as someone you can't relate or someone who's read so much romantic things that they’ve become delusional, I don’t care. But I.....have liked someone before. Romantically. And I just really need to get this off my chest.

2015 was a wild ride and an enjoyable year. I got a tablet that year! I started tenblog that year, and I got to meet so many people and made some really damn swaggy online friends. (If you read this, shoutout to you, my buckaroo ☆)

But also, I guess it was a fresh taste of what it means to be in an unrequited situation for me.

I’ve had many crushes before but I never really associated them with all seriousness until 2015.

In 2015, I joined a class by accident. Because I didn’t read the description of the subject properly like the idiot I am, and ended up in an mechanical engineering course. Naturally, it was a class with 99% boys and there was only 1 other girl except for me, but I knew her and her 2 friends so I sat with them. They had another extending pair of friends who over the course of the year I gradually got to be friends with and...the guy next to me..

I....I ended up....yeah...I...I was a fool but I did...I did end up liking him.

Thinking about it now, maybe because I was obsessed with the concept of "youth" and "love" and "relationships" which may have stemmed from friends of mine in relationships themselves. Maybe because I read too much shoujo manga, and have heard too much stories, gossip - all that sort of thing.

I talked to them and listened to their experiences. I just felt myself grow so fucking envious, because love is pretty great. You hear people say how love in high school is an experience and stuff and that misconception is popular...

But I really just. I wanted. I really... I wanted to be....I wanted to be loved in a romantic sense. I wanted to know how it felt. To be like them.

So in 2015 as a 15 y.o girl I was in engineering class and I was making shitty mistakes wherever I went. I clearly wasn’t built for this sort of work, haha!! I was scared of machines, my work was never neat, I constantly had to move around the workshop with hesitation because I was really scared of accidentally chopping a limb off. It was not exciting.

Because of that, I was often with my 3 friends talking while I worked on my project for class. The guy next to me (who was also friends with them) worked with the other guy, I never really talked to him, other than borrowed pens or had him copy off me in paper work because he couldn't see the whiteboard (since I sat at the back.)

Until one day, he came in stressing over house leader interviews (a system of leadership in my school), and his friend wasn’t able to help him out.

Being the good person I am, I stepped in and helped him.

and I guess...I guess that moment

i..i made a mistake lmfao..

this is cliche. it sounds unrealistic. I may really be delusional af. but I earnestly, felt. like maybe it was his smile/thank you that... made me make that “mistake”, I guess.

After that we started to talk more. I’m shitty at engineering, which is why I never took it again, but then we started talking about subjects - the ones we shared, specifically.

In the end, he didn't get the job, but he still didn't forget to always thank me for helping him out. it was. it was...

a really nice feeling.

Since then I always interacted with him during engineering with the tools and machinery, and he was always kind to help me out. He was funny too, and we had our own funny episodes including the other 3 friends of mine which made engineering enjoyable.

Days like that came and go and it soon came in our final days...where I did some stupid shit.

Manga always made it seem cool, and because YES I DID READ SO MUCH, you know what i did? I wrote him a letter.

I poured my soul and feelings into this fucking letter, but I made it clear that I did not expect anything. I did the MAGIC SHOUJO SHIT and slipped it into his bag when he wasn’t looking. fuck me up.

A week went by. I carried on studying for other subjects, but I was really regretting what I did. I was fucking PANICKING IN CASE HE SHOWED IT TO ANYONE, because he’s got the bad influence type of friends, and I never knew what he could do.

Then on the very last day...he had his friend call me over and in front of the school library we talked.

Naturally, I didn't expect anything, so i didn't receive anything but. I think. for me, the both heartwarming, and heartbreaking thing... was that he rejected me so kindly and earnestly that it still remains vivid in my mind today, ok? He said he was really happy.

"When I read it, I couldn't stop smiling."

You know its that feeling where you're both having emotions cancel each other out; happiness and sadness? lol yeah

of course i thanked him for even telling me, talking to me even, otherwise it wouldve been so awkward. then i left. I mean school was out!! exams were here, I got rejected, what else? I could move on.

Then over the course of vacation I thought to myself "I had next year, i'll try make him notice me" even if thats cliche but...I did, really...I really wanted him to notice me. I started wondering what it would’ve been like, if I did end up with him? I started wondering things like that, that it sort of made it hurt a lot more because I knew it wasn’t to be.

Then, I changed my mind for my subject choices and swapped engineering for chemistry cause I cant handle machinery for shit, and no, not because of him, no.

And then......february...valentines...this day, tomorrow, came... and that time i realized I probably wasnt completely over...him.

I saw him come in my chemistry class but you know obviously...itd never be for me and...he brought flowers and chocolates--

--for the girl behind me.

It was her birthday and well, as platonic as he probably intended, the hug they shared in class didnt look like it, and neither did the gifts either, nor the comments "aww they match so well" from everyone around, nor did the teasing of my chem teacher.

Maybe that was my wakeup call. haha. maybe that was my wakeup call. but. a year ago today, i had my heart broken just like that.

since then i never interacted with him again, was moving on, and of course, i had other things in mind, like friends n school.

I actually depicted this moment in comic format, which is why there’s no illustration here.

Well, to be honest, I don’t really know the point of this story.

Maybe that unrequited love hurts? Because yeah, it really, really does. That day I was probably quite obviously the most fakest I could’ve ever been, because it stung so much. I ended up crying after venting to some friends through message apps, but since then of course I kind of accepted it. I felt happy for him, not gonna lie, that he managed to find such a pretty girl for a girlfriend.

But yeah, that’s my sad valentine story. I hope that I will find someone to love who’ll love me all just the same, even if it doesn’t happen instantly.

#neesan texto #neesan hates life #THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG!!!!!! IM SORRY TO EVERYONE ON MOBILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#RIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#LONG POST

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insarations · 7 years ago

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Here’s this survey thing

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. dont use itunes anymore so spotify but same thing...santeria by sublime. she likes girls by metro station. different people by no doubt. we can make love by SoMo. when the end comes by andrew belle. my humps by tbep XD

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Gwen Stefani, no doubt ;) :D

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "yeah" he said. The light turned green. I braced myself.

4) What do you think about most? um well it depends on the day and time and what not but I guess lately just a certain person. and also about traveling and where I wanna go.

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? yes both

6) Do you have any strange phobias? eh not really strange..theyre all pretty common

7) What's your religion? Christian/non-denom

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? walking to the car or inside XD

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? No Doubt

10) What was the last lie you told? hmm honestly i'm not sure. I'm not really the lying type

11) Do you believe in karma? ehh... in a sense but idk

12) What does your URL mean? um well its part of my middle name... play on the word daydreams...cause i daydream alot lol

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? i hate that question lol

14) Who is your celebrity crush? it changes alot but currently Anna Kendrick

15) How do you vent your anger? depends. lately I workout. but sometimes I draw or paint or listen to music or just sleep really. sometimes i just reblog things on tumblr or write something

16) Do you have a collection of anything? um kinda... vans, i used to have a lot more cause I worked there but i guess i dont really anymore. books and dvds. um hmm...i feel like i used to collect something else but cant think of it

17) Are you happy with the person you've become? for the most part, yes. theres always room for improvement :)

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? hate-utensils scratching on a plate. love-my cats purring

19) What's your biggest "what if"? ugh, stop.

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both...but probably in different sorts of ways than most people believe in them.

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right-beanbag chair. left-box of cheezits

22) Smell the air. What do you smell? the macncheese i just ate

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? hmm good question... idk really. i've enjoyed pretty much all the places ive traveled to

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? uh hmm no one comes to mind atm haha. im too gay i suppose XD but i guess ill say zayn

25) To you, what is the meaning of life? please dont get me started. i could write an essay

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? well yes i drive but dont have my license... never crashed.

27) What was the last movie you saw? Pitch Perfect 3!!!! so amazing

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? when I broke both arms at once

29) Do you have any obsessions right now? its something new all the time really im always obsessing haha i guess anna kendrick

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? ugh yes

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? not usually..it depends. a lot of times its not even a grudge..i forgive easy but bitter feelings stay a while in certain instances

32) What is your astrological sign? aquarius

33) What's the last thing you purchased? a movie ticket

34) Love or lust? L.O.V.E.

35) In a relationship? nope

36) How many relationships have you had? 4...and a 1/2 XD long story

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? um just be myself..not really a weapon lol

38) Where is your best friend? i dont even know who that is anymore :/

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? sleeping

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? yes i think so..id probably annoy myself at somepoint. hell i already do lol but im alright XD

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? stop, help the dog. animals are just as important as people. if someone cant understand that oh well. i cant always find another job. but animals are life.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? probably those most important to me b) What do you do with your remaining days? quit work. go traveling. spend time with my favorite people and my animals and eat a whole hell of a lot lol c) Would you be afraid? maybe a tad at first but i'm not too afraid of dying, I know i'd be with God and away from the pain of this world. i'd moreso be a little afraid of the pain i might possibly have while still alive

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? hollback girl :D

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? so many things but just... two people that love each other that click and mesh and would do anything for each other and just make each other happy and take care of each other... alot of things i suppose though.

45) How can I win your heart? hmm. just be yourself. be respectful. be sweet. be funny..even if in your own dorky awkward way. be kind and thoughtful. put me first just as much as i put you first. just be genuine and real and true and never lie to me. just, be real.

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? oh yes

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? hmm damn what a question. honestly.... I really don't know the answer to that. not that i havent made good decisions. but... idk what was the best. gotta think on that.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? hmm ive never thought about it lol honestly when i'm gone...do whatever the hell you want haha but i guess if i had to choose..something about my kindness or uniqueness ? idk i try to be kind and different lol

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." cant say right now

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? purple, black, silver, blue

51) What is your current desktop picture? its just black no picture not sure why i havent changed it

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? thats horrible. honestly i wouldnt do that to anyone..even the people i dislike most. well actually, maybe donald trump XD but no still even then i dont think i could do it even though i'm sure itd make america great again XD

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? hmm honestly idk im a very honest person

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? those are too many words you couldnt just ask me what superpower i want?? XD so now i'm gonna be a bitch and not answer

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? um. its between two. both of which involve time with someone important..cant choose which

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? losing people that were important to me

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? hmm i guess if i had to choose right this second... anna kendrick.. pretty sure ive mentioned her like a hundred times in this survey

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? right now ummm...boston

59) Ever been on a plane? many times

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Anna Kendrick. Channing Tatum. Jennifer Lawrence. Nicole da Silva. michelle rodriguez

#surveys #survey questions #random survey #random surveys

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