#italic are memories in case anyone is confused

[whateverloomis]

hihi! could I request poly!ghostface with an idol reader? afab but any/no pronouns works

The reader just enrolled in the school recently, both to be closer to LA and try and keep the public away. Reader isn't world famous or anything, but has a recognizable name. Maybe has been on a talent show and radio station a few times.

Hi! Thank you for your request anon 💖 This was a very interesting one to work with. I did a lil twist with the LA detail. I don't know if you wanted some saucy smut in here so I kept it on the teasy side, (I love this gif set 😭🙈.)

Warnings: Teasing, inappropriate touching, manipulation, alcohol consumption, getting tipsy, cliffhanger (I think?), unedited

Reader: They/Them pronouns in italics. Reader is AFAB fem presenting.

-

"An independent journalist?" Sidney asked, intrigued and confused all at once.

"Yeah, like. Y'know, the people who go around asking questions about crime cases and other crazy news." Tatum answered, filling the group in with the latest gossip.

"Yeah, I got interviewed yesterday, but apparently it's like a low-key thing. Some kind of personal project that might not go public." Randy added and Sidney nodded, processing all the information.

The press being all over town was bad enough, and now some secret journalist or something? She definitely wanted to avoid anymore questions, so she took note in order to avoid anyone that might've seemed, strange? She didn't really know how to handle the situation.

"Hey, how come I haven't gotten a cool secret interview?" Stu asked, pouting like a little kid.

"I don't think someone low-key like that wants to interview your loud ass." Billy replied and Stu faked being hurt. The rest of the group laughed at the boys usual grumpy commentary.

"Look, that's the journalist." Randy whispered and stared in a -not so subtle- way. Everyone else gave their visual attention to the person and Billy raised an eyebrow in amusement. Then he looked at Stu, who also seemed a bit more interested than usual.

They didn't know what to expect from the title "journalist" when it came to appearance but it definitely wasn't this. They had a short black dress on with a cream colored cardigan sweater. Black combat boots and white knee high leg warmers that completed the casual outfit and gave it a touch of cuteness compared to the little dress that hung dangerously close to their ass, threatening to rise up at any moment.

"Well damn." Stu said in a flirty and amused tone. Tatum glared at him and then the group continued their usual chaotic conversations and speculations about the ghost face murder case.

•

Inside the campus, a memorial for Casey Becker and Steve Orth was placed at the end of the main hallway. YN was looking at every detail and every note the students left close to the couples pictures and took notes in their leather journal. It seemed like a casual thing but Billy and Stu knew what was up.

"You think they might have a lead?" Stu questioned as he and Billy walked along the hallway casually, trying to seem like they were doing anything else other than approaching the journalist.

"I don't know... But we better make sure they don't find any." Billy answered and Stu widened this eyes, excitement radiating off him.

"Hooh, what are you suggesting man? We kill them?" Stu whisper-screamed and Billy hit his friends arm. "Would you shut up? That's not what I'm saying... Maybe, a distraction of some sort... A mislead." Billy answered and Stu got even more excited. It was like a game to them, one they knew how to manipulate however they wanted to.

•

After the last class of the day, YN was ready to go to their small apartment and put the pieces together with the info they gathered about the ghost face case.

As they were putting their books and other things into their shoulder bag, Billy approached them. He seemed mysterious to YN and they instantly grew curious. Maybe he knew something about the case?

"YN, right?" He said, his tone slightly flirty.

"Yes, and you are?" YN asked, mimicking his tone and smiling up at him innocently.

Billy let out a breathy laugh, smirking. "Billy. Billy Loomis. I uh, heard you were investigating the ghost face case or something of that sort?" He said, taking a step forward and placing his hand on YNs desk.

"Words getting around huh? Yes. I'm keeping it low-key though. Not everyone peeks my interest with this." They replied and Billy raised an eyebrow.

"No? Do I seem interesting enough?" He asked, smirking down at YN as they chuckled at his flirting and interest.

"Can't deny that you do, Loomis. We can talk. My place at 7? I'd rather be somewhere comfortable." They said and grabbed Billy's hand softly, writing their phone number and address on the palm of his hand with a marker.

Billy looked at it for a second and smiled at YN, nodding and leaning on the desk. "I have a friend too, he has some pretty interesting info as well. I could bring him over, if you'd like." He added and YN thought about it for a second. Other than receiving what seemed like good insight, if his friend was just as attractive as him, they wouldn't mind that one bit.

"Sure, that's fine with me. See you at 7?" YN checked one last time. "We'll be there." Billy replied and watched as they walked past him towards the exit door of the classroom and the boy couldn't help but scan their gorgeous body from head to toe.

•

"Wine?" YN asked the boys and Billy declined. Stu was about to say yes but Billy kicked him under the table.

"Dude, f- Uh, no I'm good. Thanks-" Stu stumbled on his words and YN giggled, pouring themselves a glass. It was perfect, if YN was tipsy enough the boys would be able to twist and turn their words in order to steer YN into the wrong direction with the case. They could also get information out of them and mess around with it too. Perfect plan.

All three of them conversed easily and it got better once YN started to get affected by the alcohol. They told Billy and Stu about how they lived in LA and how it was too overwhelming to live in. After they heard about the small town of Woodsboro and ghost face it didn't only peak their interest, but it was a perfect excuse for them to move out of LA and transfer into a new college. Have a real change in their lifestyle and pursue their journalism dream.

As the conversation went on YN got more intrigued by the boys and what they were saying.

"The thing is that Sidney's dad is missing. And it happened exactly when the murders took place so, it makes total sense that he'd be the prime suspect." Stu commented and YN wrote every single thing down.

Billy was standing close to YN, leaning against the kitchen counter trying to peak at their notes, but he could barely read anything.

"So what else do you have in there?" Billy asked, not caring about keeping his intentions low-key. He moved towards YN who was sitting on a stool, using the counter as a table.

"Nothing you should be concerned about, Loomis." YN answered and took another sip of their second glass of wine that night.

Stu chuckled and placed his hand on top of YNs. "C'mon, you can tell us, we can provide a lot of info."

"Yeah, we have a friend who's a cop too, so we have good insight." Billy continued and kept walking towards YN, sliding his hand against the counter top.

YN giggled at their attempts to get an insight scoop of what they've collected so far, but maybe the boys were right. I mean, they did have a cop as a friend, so that was definitely a good source.

Billy was a few inches away from YN, leaning against the counter top. "C'mon baby, you can tell us. We can keep a secret or two." He said and placed his hand on YNs left thigh.

They were almost drunk at that point and didn't care what they did or said. They were soaked between their legs because of the alcohol effects, plus Billy and Stu being so flirty and straight forward wasn't helping with their needyness.

Stu walked over to YN and stood right behind them. He placed his hands on their arms and soothed them. "We'll even introduce you to our cop friend, it'll be a perfect link for you." He whispered in their ear and they shivered at the sound of his soft voice.

"Mm... That does sound good... but I have a feeling there's a catch." YN said. Even in their tipsy state, they could reason and detect the boys wanted something in return.

"Now we're talking." Billy said and smirked, running his hand up and down YNs thigh. "We don't want much just..." He paused and stepped between YNs legs, running both his hands up their thighs and lifting their dress up the tiniest bit. "Wanna have a little fun with you, that's all..."

"It'll be good for you babe, you'll get exactly what you want, hm?" Stu said softly and placed his large hands on their waist.

YN was nearly melting at their soft touches and in their lack of sobriety Billy and Stu's offer sounded more than satisfying.

"Mm, you have a deal then." They replied and ran their left hand up Billy's chest.

"That's what I like to hear."

[multi-fandom-simp]

My soul, my heart, my fault

Part 1/3

Jacearys Velaryon x Velaryon!Reader (platonic, sisterly), Lucerys Velaryon x Velaryon!Reader(Platonic, sisterly), Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!Reader(mentioned throughout)

-Reader is Laenor's legitimate child in both past and present parts of this fic.-

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters. I do not claim any of them as my own. This work is purely fictional.

Summary: What's dead, is supposed to stay dead. However, the fates decide to make an exception in the case of your younger sibling's unjust deaths. You, who lived through the dance of the dragons, are brought back for the soul purpose of watching them grow again...or perhaps it was die again, you couldn't quite remember. (This will be a three part series)

Side Note: The areas in italics are memories, or moments of the past.

❗TW❗: Mentions of character death and actual character death, murder, angst, blood, incest?(I mean reader was Aemond's niece in past mentions), angst

(A/N: Hello! This is the first HOTD fic I've posted where the reader has a set house and set parent, but nonetheless I am not forcing you to imagine those specifics as their appearance. The reader's legitimate father in this story is Laenor. Simply because I feel like I don't see enough stories/fics with a true Velaryon reader. That being said, if you have any other fic Recs or even requests that involve a Velaryon reader, please send them my way👀. I've also thought about making a series involving a pair of Velaryon twins, so I'd love to know if anyone would be interested in that. Aside from my rambles, I tagged this as both Velaryon reader and just reader so that people may read it if they please. As always, I love to hear your thoughts and see your reactions, enjoy!)

Word Count: 3,924

“Kepus” Your small voice echoed overtop the waves that surrounded your father. 

Laenor, who had been previously focused on the sea turned at your call,“ Yes, Tala”

You stumbled through the water until you were able to cling to his side,“ Why do they whisper about Jace and Luke?” 

“ Because your brothers are different” Your father explained softly. His hand swept lovingly over the back of your head as you gazed up at him. 

“ How so?”

His hands came down to cradle your face,“ It matters not. What matters, is that they are still your brothers. You must not let the whispers get between you and them.”

“ Nothing could ever take me from them, Kepa, I promise” Your tone was fierce, just like the blood that ran through your veins. Laenor smiled and squatted to your level, paying no mind to the water that soaked his clothes. He seemed to study you for a second as if he was committing the moment to memory. 

Finally, he took a breath to speak,“ That’s good because you must protect them, Tala. You are their big sister, their fate rests with you.”

“ I can no-” Your father was quick to spot your hesitancy. The hands that once held your face now held your hands. While his features remained soft, fear was evident in his eyes. 

“ -You must have no doubts. Doubts lead to death, and fate is already not on your side. Heed my words, Tala, history will repeat itself,” Whether or not he was referring to him and Laena or you and the boys, you’ll never know. What you did know was that history indeed would repeat itself.

In 129 AC, you watched your brother Lucerys Velaryon die, and in 2006 you welcomed him as he was born again as your cousin. Three-year-old you was immensely confused on why these people kept referring to him as your cousin, but as you got older you came to the realization that no one else remembered who they were and that things were different. Whilst Laenor Velayron remained your father, Rhaenyra Targaryen was not your mother. In all honesty, you were not sure who your mother was. One thing was for certain though, your brothers had been taken from you. They now grew up in a different house with no memories of all you did for them eons ago. It was as if fate itself had placed a curse on you. Still, you weren’t one to let the gods dictate your life. Once your eleventh birthday came around, you begged Nyra to let you babysit the two youngest boys. She agreed without hesitation and suddenly you were back to seeing the boys almost every other day rather than in the summers. You thought you had outsmarted time and fate themselves. Six years went by and you had managed to watch the boys grow without problems. Well aside from the fact that your father and Viserys had agreed that you and Aemond would be together for the sake of both the Velaryon and Targaryen dynasties. That was six months ago, and everything had started to decline since then. Your father had mysteriously vanished, Rhaenyra’s husband Harwin had died, and tensions between the families were at an all-time high. It wasn’t Aemond’s fault per se, he was a great partner, but you knew how this went. In the end, you would be torn between his family and your own. More specifically between your brothers and him. The mere thought of it all happening again sent your stomach into knots. If only there were a way to prevent everything, prevent time from repeating itself. Maybe then you could save your brother-

" Hellooo, are you there? Hey-" Your thoughts vanished as Jace came into view. Were you having a nightmare again? No, surely not in the middle of the day, not while the boys were here.

The realization of your whereabouts sat you upright, forcing your eyes to the couch where you had last left the youngest boys, who still sat there much to your relief,"-Shit, sorry! Did I space off again?"

"You looked like you were asleep with your eyes open, to be honest," Jace snorted, his hair was wet and a gym bag hung from his shoulder, " Rough night?"

His question was answered with a groan as you laid your cheek against the cool countertop, "I’ll take that as a yes?"

"Every night is a rough night when you have nightmares like mine" You mumble between the space in your arms, “Do you ever have weird dreams, Jace?” 

Jace sat beside you, mirroring the position you had slumped into. You turned your face towards him as he spoke, "I had a dream once where I was in archery club...but I was naked, like bare as can be-"

"-You can not be serious"

"Oh but I am, and my grandfather's creepy friend Otto was the teacher. It was definitely weird, but I didn't lose sleep over it" Jace shrugged.

" Why are you guys talking like that?" Both you and Jace lift your heads to face Luke. The curly-haired boy stood on the other side of the kitchen island with his eyebrows raised.

You shrugged, “Why are you not talking like this?” 

“ Because I’m a normal human being?” He questioned sarcastically, “ anyways, while I have the attention-”

“You always have the attention” Jace scoffs.

You nod in agreement,“ Mhm, it’s because he’s the favorite.”  

“ Can I talk or..” Luke stands there staring at the two of you patiently, much like his mother would. Actually, it reminds you of the first time Nyra caught you sneaking the boys into the kitchens during the hour of the owl. 

“You must be very quiet. Some say the kitchen maids have special abilities that let them know food has been stolen” You whisper to the boys with a suppressed grin. Each of them held lemon tarts as you securely closed the door. 

Luke’s doe eyes widen with fear, “Do you think they’re witches? Will they curse us?” 

“ The kitchen maids are not the ones you should be worried about” The three of you whipped around at the sound of your mother’s voice. She stood tall in the firelight, a red robe covering her as she stared down expectantly. 

A nervous grin stretched across your features, “ Muna! We were just collecting lemon tarts to bring to you!” 

“ You know, your father has this knack for flattering me when he’s trying to cover a lie. It would be a shame for my daughter to try and do the same” She hummed suspiciously. 

“ I would never!” You cringed as you realized how identical you sounded to your kepa, “Alright, we were trying to sneak lemon tarts for ourselves, but it won’t happen again! ” 

“ If you were still hungry, you should have told me so. Now, Jace, Luke, take the tarts to your chambers and go to bed please.” The boys bid Rhaenyra a good night and took off down the hall swiftly. 

Your fingers fiddled with your nightdress nervously, “ I’m sorry, I did not mean to cause trouble.” 

“ Oh my heart, you did not cause trouble. It is natural to sneak out at a young age, but you need to be careful here. There are people in this world who seek to hurt your brothers, and you must be their protector.” She cooed, her thumb stroking your cheek. 

The fire in your eye returned once more, “ No one will hurt them. Not while I’m by their side.” 

“-I’m starting to think she had a medical condition at this point” It was Jace once again who pulled you from the past, but with Luke beside him this time. The two of them both stared at you with confusion. The dry itch in your eyes became apparent as you came back into focus. 

“ Maybe she’s just tired from dealing with Aemond all the time-”

You cut off Luke’s jest with a groan, “ Okay, can we not start up the hate train for my boyfriend today? I was just daydreaming, good gods.” 

“ No need to start the train up when it was never off in the first place” Jace spoke teasingly. Any rebuttals that were set to come from your mouth were ceased by the constant buzzing from your phone, which laid on the counter for everyone to see. 

Luke’s eyes bugged at the sight of Aemond’s contact,“ ñuha zaldrīzes?! You call him your drag-”

“Shut up!” You reached over to slap a hand over his mouth as you answered the phone, “ Aem, hey, what’s going on?” 

“What’s going on? Have you looked at the time recently?” looking over to the clock, your face fell. It was twenty past seven, which meant you were twenty minutes late to your dinner with Aemond. 

“I thought you would be here as soon as Jace got home, has he not arrived yet?” From beside you, Jace held a thumbs up, as if he was allowing you to use him as an excuse. 

“He was a little late getting home and then we got to talking and I just-”

Aemond’s sigh drowned out your words, “-Lost track of time, yeah. It seems like that happens a lot when you’re with them.” 

The boy’s watched as you visibly deflated, “Aemond, that’s not fair.” 

“ Not fair? You constantly put me second to them. I am- your husband and lover. Sooner or later you will have to choose, either me or them, and I will not tolerate a bastard being put before me. Not in this lifetime or the next.” 

“You are being unreasonable, Aemond!”

“ The unreasonable one is you! There is a war afoot and you insist on playing both sides. If you think this will end in a happy ever after..then you’re- mistaken. Are you even listening? Hello?” Time was running out and you could feel it. The last time Aemond had spoken those words, Luke had ended up dead hours later. With fear clouding your judgment you hung up without another word. Which probably didn’t help the situation, but what else could you do? Tell Luke what you thought would happen? No, he was only fifteen, he would be terrified. You couldn’t tell Jace, because as close as the two of you were he would still think you’re crazy. And Aemond, he was absolutely out of the question. Accusing him of something like that would drive the wedge further between the two of you. 

“ You must protect them, Tala. You are their big sister, their fate rests with you.” What if I don’t know how? 

“There are people in this world who seek to hurt your brothers, and you must be their protector” How can I be their protector when I brought the danger to them? Is it me? Am I the variable that needs to be changed? What if I take Luke’s place? 

“ Luke-” Your throat tightened as you looked forward. The spot Luke previously stood in was empty, as was Jace’s spot beside you, “ Luke?!”

 Jace reappeared from behind you,“ He went out to ride his bike.”

Confusion and worry clouded your eyes,“ It’s raining, he can’t possibly ride in this weather?!”  

Jace shrugged, “I suppose the rain didn’t matter after he heard your conversation with Aemond.” 

“Wha-” Fear suffocated your heart like a python. He wouldn’t confront Aemond over a silly argument, would he? 

“ Before you ask, no I did not just let him walk out the door to go confront our sociopathic uncle. He isn’t that fast of a peddler, so I’ll just catch up to him in the car” You snatched the keys from Jace’s hand before he could even finish his next thought. 

“ Hey-”

“- This is my fault, I’ll fix it” You spoke while making a beeline for the front door, “ I promise I’ll bring the car back in one piece, and Luke too!” You didn’t wait for Jace to reply, there was no need. Nothing he could say would change your mind. 

The rain barely touched you, that’s how fast you had made it to the car. You used one hand to whip out onto the street as your other hand pulled up Aemond’s contact. It rang four, five times before going to voicemail. You tried again and again to no avail before it finally went through. 

“ Hello? Aemond?” Your voice was as shaky as the car on the slick roads. 

“ Are you going to hang up on me again?” His tone was short, meaning he was upset. 

“ No, I was just overwhelmed-” The familiar click of a turning signal sounded throughout the car, but you weren’t turning, “ Aemond, please tell me you’re at home.” 

“ I’m not. I’m on my way to pick you up” Oh gods. You couldn’t do this, not now. Why was it all happening so fast? 

“ I’m not there. I went out to look for Luke. Just go back home and I will meet you there” You pleaded, which was entirely out of character for you. 

“I’m not far-”

“-Aemond, please! Just this once, listen to me” You hoped the urgency in your voice would persuade him to listen. Alas, it did not, and part of you knew it wouldn’t. 

“The rain is too thick to turn back now. I can barely see anything as it is” Aemond argued, “ I’ll wait at the boy’s house until you get back. I promise I won’t do anything, I won’t even get out of the car.” 

Your fear regressed a little. If Aemond was out of the way, then nothing could possibly happen. This could work, or so you thought. Straight ahead, racing through the storm was Lucerys. He was completely drenched from what you could tell and barely pedaling straight. You hit the brakes and jumped out of the car. 

“ Luke, get in the car!” The storm roared loudly over your voice, but he still managed to hear you. 

Luke shook his head, “ I won’t let him treat you like that, not again.” 

“What do you mean not again?” That’s when you noticed, Luke’s eyes were different, older, “You remember, don’t you?” 

He nodded slowly, unsurely, “ When Aegon hit my head against the table at dinner last week it all came flooding back. I thought they were dreams at first, but then I noticed how different you acted. How you had changed then to now.” 

“ You never said anything”

“I didn’t know that you remembered, I’m sorry” He apologized through chattering teeth. 

You smiled softly, “ It doesn’t matter anymore, just come with me. Let me take you back home.” 

That’s when Luke’s own smile fell, “ I can’t. I ran away from him the first time, but not this time.” 

“ That wasn’t your fault, Luke. I was the one who told you to run, so please, just- take my hand!"

"I won't leave Arrax!" Luke screamed from below you, ignoring the hand that you held down towards him. 

"Vhagar is set to kill Arrax. You must take my hand Lucerys, please!" Eyes as green as sea moss flashed through the heavy downpour like lightning. Eyes that held fear that chilled your bones more than the freezing rain. Next came the hand, the hand that held scars from dragon riding yet looked as soft as a handful of clouds. You reached for it amidst the haze, only it never seemed to get any closer.

“Reach further-” and that’s when you saw it, rather than when you saw him. It was Aemond atop Vhagar who appeared in what seemed like a split second. Your heartbeat quickened and you reached for Lucerys once more, except something was blinding you this time- headlights, that’s what was in your way. The beams of light raced down the street with no intention of slowing down. You would be worried about them hitting you if Luke wasn’t in between their path and you. Like before, you weren’t fast enough. Every step you took towards your brother seemed to push him father away. 

“Lucerys, Move!” Your screams mingled with his as he turned too late. In what seemed like slow motion you watched as Luke rolled atop the car as it completely mangled his bike. Much to your horror, the driver slammed on their brakes, propelling Luke forward.

“No!” Your feet were moving before your brain could even process what happened, “ No, no, no, please no.” 

The pavement cut into your knees as you knelt beside Luke. You pulled his head to rest on your knees, paying no mind to the blood that soaked through your pants. His eyes were open, yet lifeless. The vibrant green that they held before now shone as a dull gray. You leaned down to place your ear on his chest. Nothing. Not a single sound. 

“ Lucerys please, you can’t leave me again, “ Your tears mixed with the rain, “ Come back to me, Ñuha prūmia” 

“ You did well, Ñuha prūmia. Do not fret” Your sincere words traveled in one ear and out the other for Lucerys. Jace had beaten him at dueling practice yet again. 

He scrunched his nose as your endearment, “ Must you call me that? It sounds girly.”

“It is a simple endearment, I mean no harm to your pride. I refer to you as my heart in the same manner that I call Jacaerys my soul” You explain softly, reaching over to ruffle his curls. 

“What is Joffrey then?” 

“I’m not sure,” You hum in thought, “ Perhaps he is my mind.” 

He peers up at you in curiosity, “Which of the three would you say that you can not live without?” 

“Mhm, my heart would be the answer. I fear I’d go mad if I ever lost you.” His cherubic smile faded to a bloody gasp. The sight alone smothered out the fire in your heart and set off a drum in your skull. 

“ Is he alright? I couldn’t see him through the rain. I swear- oh gods…” Whilst still regaining focus where you sat on Storms End Avenue, you looked up to see none other than Aemond Targaryen speaking to you through the rain. His hair lay limp against his face, almost covering the grim expression he held, which seemed to darken as you came into view. You gently laid Lucerys’s head on the road below before standing on shaky legs. 

“ Don’t. Don’t you dare tell me it was an accident, not again” You advanced toward Aemond until the tip of your finger dug into his chest. The patience you once had now worn thin and making way for eons of repressed anger and guilt. 

Confusion danced across Aemond’s face, “ Again? What are you talking about-”

“Stop acting like you do not know!” You screamed, shoving him backward, “ I am tired of everyone acting like they know nothing when everything else is happening according to the past!” 

“We can talk this out, just calm down” Aemond almost sounded like he was pleading as he reached out for you, but in truth, Aemond never pleaded to anyone. Not even the woman he claimed to love. 

"Calm down?! I am to watch my brothers be murdered AGAIN and you want me to CALM DOWN?! You are wrong if you think I will sit by an.. and.. a-", the longer you stood, the worse your vision got. At this point, the pounding in your head had gotten so loud that your vision swayed. Through the dark spots blotting your eyes, you could see silhouettes of dragons dancing in the clouds and the water surrounding you turning red. Everything began to feel weightless, except your head of course. 

“ Woah, hey” Aemond was there to catch you as you crumbled, “ Keep your eyes open for me, okay? I’m going to call for help, but I need you to stay awake.” 

You tried to stay awake, you really did, but it was all too much. The weight of it all dragged you into the darkness without a fight. It was hours before you awoke, and when you did it was in a hospital bed. A warm weight against your leg is the first thing your brain registers. Well, that and the blinding white hue of the hospital walls. 

"Luke.." your throat was dry and scratchy, almost as if you had been screaming for days. Your eyes surveyed the room wearily until they landed on Jace. He must have been the warmth you were feeling. His arms lay atop the bed next to you, crossed snuggly beneath his head. You could tell the skin around his eyes was puffy and red despite them being closed. He had been crying, but over what? Was it Luke? Had last night not been just another nightmare of the past? You reached out, brushing against Jacaerys arm lightly, but still firm enough to rouse him from his sleep. 

His eyes fluttered for a moment before fully snapping open, "You're awake!" 

" I don't remember falling asleep.." you spoke in true confusion. 

Jace's eyes seemed to soften, whether or not it was in pity or sadness you did not know," You didn't fall asleep, you collapsed. Aemond brought you in-"

" and Luke? " A part of you couldn't help but be hopeful. If you couldn't remember passing out, then perhaps Luke's death was a hallucination of your foggy memory as well. Even if the look in Jace's eyes already told you differently. 

" They said he was dead upon impact. Aemond killed him." your heartbeat picked up on the monitor as Jace spoke, "I know it's not what you want you to hear, and that you love Aemond, but it's true."

"Aemond claims that he didn't see him in time. That the rain made the roads too slick and that he lost control of the car, but he’s lying" Jace seethed, paying no mind to your reaction. 

"Jace-" 

His eyes held fire and the smallest hint of disbelief as they flickered back to you, "Please don't defend him. Whatever you're going to say, just don't. My mother has already retaliated and I've opened a lawsuit against Aemond. There's nothing else you can say."

" You don't know that unless you let me speak" You waited for a beat of silence before continuing, "I was not going to defend Aemond. On the contrary, I was going to tell you that it wasn't an accident. It's just like before."

Jace s eyes widened, " Like before? Has Aemond killed someone else?" 

You shake your head quickly, "No, not this lifetime. You misunderstand, I'm talking about when he killed Lucerys the first time."

" I'm not sure what you're talking about. None of this has ever happened before-"

The patience you once had before Lucerys's death is now long gone, "-Yes it has! You just have to remember, like Luke did. I need you to remember Jace, please, before the same happens to you." 

Jace leans forward to encase both of your shaking hands," If it's the lawsuit that troubles you, then you need not worry. Nothing is going to happen to me. I've taken many precautions. Otto Hightower has agreed to meet us halfway to our beach house in Dragonstone to receive the papers. He's bringing Criston Cole as a witness and I'm bringing Corlys. Everything will run smoothly."

Halfway to Dragonstone, the gullet. You sucked in a trembling breath as images of Jacaerys' arrow-riddled body flashed before your eyes. He was close to his death and yet he didn't remember, not like Lucerys did. You were the only one left with the knowledge of what was to come… Or So you thought. 

[mayasaura]

ntn spoilers ahead

Question!

I appreciate that you champion Harrow's schizophrenia, and I had a thought that I'd like to run by you. It's intended with full respect for anyone with the disorder, and is also related to the neuro-bio-psych elements.

When Nona, Cam, and Crown are visiting the Captain, Nona hears Varun speak through the Captain. Afterward, she references the incident and realizes that neither Cam nor Crown had heard this happen. I was confused *how* Nona-lecto had that sort of experience, but...

If Nona-lecto is in Harrow's body, is it possible that she's experiencing schizophrenia symptoms? I'm not wanting to imply that it's a full hallucination, though perhaps since Harrow's 'meat' is schizophrenic meat, there are effects. Would mental health/illness be tied to the soul? Personality certainly seems to be, and some forms of memory.

Just rolling this around in my head a bit, and have no thoughts more advanced than this. Thank you for all your theorizing and writings about the books 💀 - heedee

I've been wondering how or if Harrow's schizophrenia effected Nona since the cover first dropped, and literally speaking, the way you're wondering about? I'm still not really sure. Brain stuff is complicated, even before souls are part of the equation, and everything about Nona is already so goddamn weird. I do think Nona is thematically schizophrenic, the same way she's thematically intellectually disabled.

Like the scene you're talking about here:

I think you're absolutely onto something, seeing this as related to psychosis. Reading this scene with that framing in mind, Nona's experience is so clearly about hallucinations. She was just trying to change the subject, and fuck. Turns out no one else heard that! Camilla and Crown's reactions, too.

But to your point about neurobiology, and the relationship between soul and body, it doesn't really tell us much. Nona wasn't hallucinating, because it turned out Judith wasn't just screaming. Varun was speaking to Nona through Judith in the language of a murdered planet, a language that sounds like screaming to human ears. Like Nona's uncanny knack for human languages, that's a product of her soul, not her brain.

We get proof of that later when Nona is pretending to be Harrow, and faking being effected by the blue light. She imitates the way Judith screamed, makes her mouth make the same shapes Judith's did, and her words come out in italics; just like Judith's words that Camilla and Crown heard as screams. She calls for help, in the screaming language she'd heard from Judith, with Judith in the room to hear her, and Varun answers by attacking the planet.

To your question about whether schizophrenia would be connected to the soul or to the body in setting, I don't think there's a dichotomy there. Body and soul aren't separate things, even when they're separated.

Lyctorhood, for example. You'd think muscle memory would be a clear cut case of living in the body. It's muscles. But when Ianthe chowed down on Naberius' soul, she got his reflexes with it. His swordsmanship, his stance, his training. The soul brought the body with it. And when Harrow literally cut Gideon out of her brain, it removed Gideon from her memory even when her soul was elsewhere. She spent half that book in the River, but didn't remember Gideon until her skull construct failed and her brain began to heal. So I would say that, just like memory, it's both. Harrow's schizophrenia is tied to both her soul and body, and there's not really much point in trying to separate the two.

[littleplantfreak]

Something Comforting - Sakura Haruka

It's a song fic! Actually I used two songs. If you're not caught up on the manga it has some light spoilers so read at your own risk!

It's sfw and it's angst/comfort/some third thing but it's 3am. Under the cut cause its 1500 words

Summary: Sakura's been having nightmares and his friends are concerned.

Quick note and I wont bother y'all till the end: The song lyrics are in bold and italics in case you're confused. The two songs are "Someone to stay" by Vancouver Sleep Clinic and "Something Comforting" by Porter Robinson

You were alone left out in the cold

Clinging to the ruin of your broken home

Sakura Haruka wasn't a stranger to be alone. Pretty much everything could be done without help if you try hard enough. If you struggle hard enough. If you don't have the expectation of help, that someone will come at just the right moment, getting things done begins to seem easier and easier. Why reach out when the answer will be no? Why spend time wondering why nothing is getting done, when you can do it on your own? There's no point relying on anyone when you're perfectly capable and have been for as long as you can remember.

But he came to Furin

And someone came at the right moment.

Sakura Haruka is not alone.

You've been fighting the memory, all on your own

Nothing washes, nothing grows

He sleeps through every class on Monday. No one really worries too much the first day. After all, they'd just had the fight with Noroshi and there isn't a body in Furin that's completely healed up yet. Once he sleeps past patrols every day for three days straight, Nirei starts to notice the dark circles under Sakura's eyes staying dark. Maybe even increasing in intensity. Speaking with Suo, they start to notice Sakura's not eating as much as he used to. They push here and there to make sure he eats something, but his heart isn't quite in it. The whole class begins to notice too.

"Sakura-san?" Nirei asks on their way to the cafe.

"Hmm?" He's watching the ground as he tries to stifle another yawn.

"Have you been having trouble sleeping?"

"...Not really." He's lying.

"Are you sure?" Suo presses, following up on the other side of him. "You drooled all over your math test earlier. It was stuck to your face for five minutes before you noticed." Nirei can tell he's trying to sound teasing, but there's no goading to his tone right now.

"Been waking up a few times. 's not a big deal." A yawn so big his next step is hindered and he's tripping on his own feet. Both boys nearly catch him, but he catches himself. "I'm fine." Sakura says shaking off some of his exhaustion.

Too lost and hurting to carry your load

We all need someone to hold

He's suffocating again. He thinks he is at least. The pain isn't right, but the lack of air is. Thrashing and grabbing for his throat, he is trying. To relieve the pressure. To choke out the words that come out in pathetic watery cries. I'll go with you.  He can't get the words out. Everything is static and loud and he can only make out his inky black hair tendriling closer and swallowing him up in a gaping maw darkness.

The panic he feels upon waking is made worse by the urge to hurl the remains of what little dinner he's had. "Stupid." He whispers, wiping the sweat off his face he crawls to the bathroom and rests his head on the cold tile.

Cause getting made you want more

and hoping made you hurt more

oh there must be

something wrong with me

"Pardon the intrusion!" Suo calls in as Sakura is mid-bite in his convenience store noodles.

"You sure this place ain't haunted? Lookin' real haunted right now..." a loud, spooked voice belonging to Tsugeura follows as he clings behind Suo.

"Sakura- ah he's already eating! We brought food from Kotoha's too though if you're hungry after." Nirei pops his head in and drags a bunch of bags towards the kitchen.

"Pretty minimalist huh, Sakura-chan?" Kiryu whistles while checking out the bare apartment. It's matter-of-fact rather than an insult, not that Sakura cares. A grunt comes from Sugishita at the end of the line looking nonplussed. Sakura isn't sure whether he should get up and do something or chase them out. He's never had this many people in his apartment and it's crowded even more by the luggage they're all toting with them.

"Did all ya get kicked outta yer houses or somethin'?" He asks mouth still full.

"Ah not quite!" Nirei takes the lead to explain. "We wanted to have a sleepover to celebrate...I guess...if that's alright with you..." he trails off losing some of his initial enthusiasm when Sakura's bewildered expression doesn't change.

"Right and we figured your place is the best choice," Kiryu begins setting up a rolled sleeping bag in the corner. "You are our grade captain after all." Suo has taken to the kitchen, filling it with various things from both Cafe Pothos and extra food the locals handed them on the way there. Sugishita sets a potted plant on the counter with only a "Kalanchoe" before he points to the care card stuck in the dirt.

"Uh, bless you?"

"Umemiya-san sent it. Said it's real easy to take care of," Tsugeura says plopping on the floor, legs crisscrossed as he opens a protein drink. Sakura would normally refuse and argue with them on the various fluttering around they're doing in his apartment but the energy just wasn't there. He continues eating, humming or using short, one-word answers to the variety of questions each person throws his way. His space has been claimed completely by his friends and by the end of the night, they've taken up every inch of floor space. Once the lights are out, there's a faint glow of blue from the corner where Nirei's installed a small nightlight he insisted he needed to have when sleeping. Next to that was a small white noise machine Kiryu plugged in although he himself was curled up with headphones in.

Sakura curls up on his futon to when he feels his head his something softer than normal. A double take confirms there's a pillow where his head should be and he drags his eyes around trying to figure out which one of his friends misplaced it.

"I think it's an extra. Use it since everyone else has one." Suo whispers from above where Sakura's head is before closing his eyes again. It's flatter than a normal pillow. Do they even make them like this? Sakura isn't sure it's normal but he can't really find a place to put it with four other boys spread out around the room. Sugishita to his right and Nirei to his left, while Kiryu and Tusgeura are stacked somewhere on the other side of sugishita. So he settles on it and listens to the weird but kind of alright music coming out of Kiryu's machine.

And getting made you want more And hoping made you hurt more Someone tell me Something comforting

He's drowning this time, before he jolts up in the futon. Instead of darkness, the light shows everyone around him soundly knocked out and he takes a steady breath before laying back in bed. The machine is still making noise with something like waves going in the background now. He feels two soft thumps on his back where Sugishita is set up. He hears him pick up his head and gravels out a "You're good." Not a question, and another thump as Sugishita's head hits the floor again. Sakura becomes acutely aware that Suo's head is closer to the top of his pillow, now to the point where his hair brushes near his own head. Nirei is also closer than before and has been gripping Sakura's shirt as he's curled up.

Despite his heavy breathing earlier, it's actually easier to breathe once he takes into account the bodies around him. He slows his breathing to match someone else's though he doesn't pay attention to whose, and his eyes are being pulled shut again, his body desparate for sleep. For the first time in more than a week, Sakura sleeps deeply through the rest of the night.

By the time everyone wakes up and files out after breakfast, there are a few things left behind that Sakura's not sure what to do with. He reads the care card for the plant and shoots Kotoha a couple questions on the specifics. No one in the group chat ever claims the pillow he used, or the shampoo and conditioner he finds unopened in the shower. The nightlight and white noise machine were left with both Nirei and Kiryu saying they have seconds at home and to keep it there for next time they sleep over. The same sentiment comes from Tsugeura about the set of small hand weights Sakura's been making sure not to trip over in the mornings.

His apartment starts to look more and more full as it becomes a place where small parties and gatherings are held. Whether gifted or left accidentally", he usually has something new to move around the next day. Sakura isn't sure when, but at some point someone hung up curtains when he wasn't looking despite knowing for a fact it would've been a half an hour job at least.

Sakura Haruka is not alone.

He's pretty okay with that too.

_______________

So sorry if there are typos im so tired and spent long enough just making sure the format was decent enough. Also I've never written this many words all at once before so that's cool! Some writing notes if anyone's interested!!

Kalanchoe's name apparently comes from a latinized corruption of the chinese Kalan Chau for "that which falls and grows" which i thought sounded cool to put in! It also symbolizes endurance and persistence (as well as affection and love but like...every flower/plant is like that usually it just depends on which flower language you're going off of.)

Sugishita was the one who left hair stuff in the bathroom after finding out Sakura only uses like...a bar of soap or a 3-in-1 to wash his hair. Like an animal or something ಠ_ಠ

Kotoha put the curtains up with Umemiya while everyone dragged Sakura to the convenience store for snacks one day. It actually took three days for him to notice.

Suo ends up bringing a teapot and leaves to leave(lol) at Sakura's because he's not using regular tea bags every time he comes over smh

I think both Kiryu and Nirei bring plushies over and "forget" them every time. They both also eventually put up pictures they either took on their phones or got at photo booths. Absolute mad lads at scrap booking and cork boarding

Also ive never done a song fic kinda thing before? i used to hate reading them and now look how the turntables. It's 3:39am goodnight!

[nicotinemaiden]

My mistake

And if I knew the words that you sold me Covered up the truth you've been holding I would learn to let you go Before we travelled down this road Now all I have is ignorance to blame But I guess that was my mistake

[Nico Collins]

Read on AO3 →

The first time was a mistake.

At least that was what she kept telling herself the morning after when the influence of the alcohol had disappeared completely from her body and all the memories of the night before returned to her. They were still a bit hazy, clearing slowly with every passing second.

To her side the bare back of a well-known friend rested against her, the shadows the waking sun projected over it emphasizing his muscles and the scars that were there before she could do anything for them. She found the urge of touching them - again, her mind reminded her - and buried it inside, far away from her current thoughts.

Her breath was nowhere to be found, lost someplace between her naked body and the lips of the man beside her. Her heart raced to a pace she wondered if it was healthful, if it wasn't the first time it had done that. Turns out, it definitely wasn't. Last night was just her most recent example but… she remembered this sensation from almost every time Obi was closer than usual. Her heart trying to escape, she told Yuzuri once. To be with whom it really belonged, she answered, a knowingly smile on her lips. She didn't understand it then and now, even having a subtle idea of what was her friend referring to, was definitely not the time to be thinking about it. She had enough on her hands for the moment.

Her hands, unbuttoning his shirt with the care she would put mending his wounds. Her hands, entangling themselves on his hair as if it was the rope from which her life hanged. Her hands, wandering to places of his body that were forbidden for most people, caressing them and stroking them and - 

She forced herself to the present, trying her best to calm the excessive beating of her heart and failing miserably. The weight of what she had done, what they’d done, hit her hard, a lot harder than she expected. The guilt crawled up her throat so forcefully she had to fight in order to stop herself from throwing up. 

"Miss, you're drunk."

His voice was low in her ears, his lips almost touching hers. She just wanted to shut him up and feel the burning of his kisses again, the way his hand gripped her right tight, lifting up her dress, distracting her from what he was saying. It wasn't a question, she processed later, but she had already answered.

"Yes."

She went to kiss him again but he retreated just a bit, enough to be out of her reach.

"I'm drunk."

That wasn't a question either, but she answered anyway.

"Yes."

She looked at his eyes and then she understood. He thought this was only the alcohol talking, not herself. He thought she was just in a… playful mood. But that was far, oh so far, from the truth. She'd wanted him for so long she didn't even remember when was the first time her thoughts wandered to him in that particular manner.

But she wasn't just thinking about sex. She was attracted to him, that much she knew - and if she was having any doubts the first of their kisses melted them all away - but it was something more. It wasn't love, she loved Zen, she knew how that felt… did she not? Zen. She hadn't… She hadn't remembered him until now and… she didn't want to remember him. Not here, not now, not being with Obi. He was consuming her entire world and… she was honest when she told herself she wouldn't want to be anywhere else, nor with anyone else. So she added, clarifying her thoughts to him in a small sentence.

"And that doesn't make me want you any less."

She forced herself up with one arm, kissing him slowly, lovingly, the way a wife would kiss her husband, clearly not a lover's kiss. And he smiled against her lips, warming her heart even more.

Her head ached as if she had just been banging it against the wall all night long. She brought her hand to her temple, wanting the cool of it to help whatever little it could. She needed to get out of this room - their room, she remembered herself, leaving little places in this unknown palace to run off to.

She was going to kill Hisame. This was all his fault, his and his stupid ideas. Fake dating, yes, of course, they could do that, it seemed simple enough.

Until it wasn't.

It was hard enough sharing a room with him - He insisted on sleeping on the floor most of the nights unless she practically forced him onto the bed, afraid all she would find of her knight the next morning was an ice cube - but the subtle touches, the long stares, his proximity when he slid his arm down her waist, bringing her to him, so close she thought she would kiss him if he wasn't so quick to flee her side once the show was over.

That's all it was: A show. A show for the people of this cold place, an entertainment for Hisame and torture for herself. She asked her knight once his thoughts about their new situation and he just dismissed the question with a flirtatious response and a smile. It was so Obi she just left it there, thinking he wasn't against the idea. She wondered what he would say now that their relationship was a lot less fake than they anticipated.

She was still clinging to his neck, her hands completely still, too afraid to make a sudden movement lest he decided it was time to do rounds or to eat something, or to go to the bathroom. It wasn't the first time they've been in this situation, their hug loose enough for them to look each other in the eyes, forgetting what drove them to be this way in the first place. She spoke softly, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Tell me, Obi, what would you do if I…" She trailed off, seeing his confused look, and decided it was best to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. She'll have to thank the alcohol later because without it she would never have had the courage to do it.

She lifted herself up her toes and brought her lips to his. It was just a soft kiss, so short she believed she imagined it, but she could still feel the softness of his lips so she kept her eyes closed for a moment. How something so little, so innocent, could awaken so much in her was beyond her comprehension. She felt flashes of lightning all through her body, from top to bottom, making it difficult to feel bad about it. She just… kissed him. Without asking if he wanted it as bad as her.

She opened her eyes ashamed, thinking she would find rejection in the ones that mirrored her own. Expecting to hear a soft joke and a laugh, maybe some excuse as to why he suddenly needed to be out of there. But he was looking at her with such intensity, such lust, his golden eyes a shade darker, a mixture of emotions under the obvious ones that she couldn't really place.

She stared back, realizing she felt like a prey under his gaze, as if she had just awoken a beast. But she wasn't intimidated by it… On the contrary, all of her was screaming to let herself be eaten. And that… that she could do.

Shirayuki wasn't sure who moved first, it didn't really matter. In a moment her fingers were playing with his hair - meddling with it, uninvited but not unwelcome - while her lips opened to him, letting his experience guide her. His hands were her anchor, the pressure of them - one on her waist and the other in the lower part of her back - the only thing keeping her from flying. She was a woman of science, she knew she would most likely fall instead of fly if he released her, but she felt so light. If only she didn't feel like she was burning and he was the cool water and the raging fire at the same time.

She could feel her legs shaking under the mattress. She had heard her knight before, talking about how he knew how to light a candle in women. She never doubted it, she felt it herself more than once, but this… She was screwed because what she was feeling wasn't a candle, oh no, it was an entire forest set ablaze. A fire so tall, so wide, so hot she lost herself burning on it and, now, hours later, all that remained of her were ashes.

She forced herself up, still shocked at the lack of clothes on her body, and moved to the closet as silently as she could. She needed him to stay asleep, she wasn't ready to talk to him. Or to look at him. Or… anything, really. She just needed a bath, a walk through the gardens, maybe even shut herself in the library. He would find her, he always did, but later was better in this situation.

She tripped over her dress, the one she was wearing last night, and picked it up carefully, ready to leave it on one of the chairs until the maid came to pick it up for laundry. The soft green and black fabric practically slid through her arms before she could put it down.

Her dress was loose and it fell subtly over her breasts. He took his time lowering it, planting kisses on her neck and shoulders, biting them before reclaiming her mouth to his. She got lost on his kisses until she noticed the cold air on her chest and she breathed, waiting for his reaction. He was the first man to see her like this and she wouldn’t have wanted anyone else, not with the look he was giving her. 

Under his eyes, she felt made for him, as if she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, as if he never could look at someone the way he was looking at her. As if she was his woman. 

She got up, missing immediately his touch, and undressed completely, letting her dress fall on the floor. The only thing left on her was her green underwear. She didn’t miss the look on the golden eyes before her while she lowered her dress. She felt she could do anything in the world and that’s why she did it. She was embarrassed, yes, but those feelings disappeared completely every time he looked at her, leaving only the colour of her cheeks. 

He got up after her, one step after the other, so slowly she was about to jump at him. One of his arms hugged her waist, making her react in time to hug his neck. After a moment she felt her hair fall free on her shoulders - sometimes she almost forgot how long it was again.

As if she was a work of art in a museum he studied her, smiling, for almost a minute. Then he resumed his pace from before, kissing her shoulders, her neck, her chest…

The bath was cold, left there from the night before when neither of them found it necessary. Now she was really grateful for the sudden change of temperature even if her body was against it. It started trembling and she wasn't sure if it was because of the bath until she felt her eyes sting and her cheeks soaking. She hugged her knees with her arms and buried her face there, unable to stop her crying. She knew why… or so she thought. All the things she fought for, all the friends waiting for her… she just destroyed them all. Last night everything was crystal clear to her. It still was. But… it should have been different. She should have talked to Zen before, she should have told him that she won't be waiting for him anymore, that she simply… didn't feel the same. She hasn't since a lot of time ago. It would have been easier than going to him and saying 'Hey I slept with Obi and I realized I've been in love with him for a long time. I hope we can still be friends?'. She cried louder, hitting herself in the process. She just realized the truth of her words.

She loved him. She loved him so much she gifted herself to him without thinking about the consequences, about the damage she would do to the rest of the people in her life, including him. They… they could tear him apart from her. They could exile him from Clarines, from Lyrias. Relieve him from his duties with the kingdom. Would he leave then? Would he leave her alone, denied of her friends, of the man she truly loved? Or would he be willing to take her with him? Did he even felt the same? She didn't ask. She didn't… she didn't even tell him. Not once. She didn't even know until now, until all the pieces clicked on her head. She sniffled again. It had been a mistake.

And with that, she realized, she lied to him too.

She moved to kiss him again but he moved quicker, keeping her away. For a moment she was hurt but the look in his eyes only told her that he was not done talking.

“Shirayuki, listen to me. You may be able to live knowing you made this mistake here with me but I won’t.”

He spoke lightly, softly, like hearing a caress. The first time she heard her name from his voice and it was… beautiful. She never thought she would like her name more than coming from his lips. She needed to hear it again, every day, every hour, every minute even if it was whispered like that. She couldn't help but be quiet, waiting. Then he smiled, cupping her face with one hand and kissing her the same way his words had spoken to her. She got the feeling there were too many things she wouldn't get to hear tonight, not in words at least.

“I don’t want this to be a mistake. I don’t want us to be a mistake.”

The warm that invaded her felt odd. It wasn’t a normal warmth, it was sad, hurtful. How could he be a mistake for her? He was precious, the most precious person she had. He was always by her side, understanding her without words, making her laugh, giving her time when she needed it and lending an ear to her when she had too much going on in her mind. She could be anywhere, go anywhere, if he was with her. He allowed her to be, without masks, without politics, without a false respect.

Her heart pressed on her chest, drowning her. She felt guilty for making him think like that yet she forgot the reason behind his words. Why would this be a mistake? She didn’t know nor wanted to. It was right, it felt right. She forgot to think past that.

“Obi. This will never be a mistake. You will never be a mistake. Ever. Whatever happens tonight or the rest of my life.”

Everything hurt. From her body to her brain, but most of all, her heart. She needed to tell him. She needed him to know that, even if at this moment everything else felt wrong the only thing that didn't was him. And the night she spent with him. The years she spent with him. She would find a solution, with or without him, and she would accept his answer, even if that meant he would go again, feeling his freedom crushed by her feelings. She would accept it. But she needed him to know. Yes, it had been a mistake but not because she didn't want it, not because she didn't want him, needed him, but because she felt guilty for hurting Zen and the people who fought for them. It was simply a matter of timing.

She put on a towel after washing her face, a smile creeping on her mouth. He always understood her, she knew this time would be the same. She was lucky, so lucky to have fallen in love with him. Suddenly she needed him to know, as soon as possible.

Barefoot and with only the towel to cover her she ran to the door, opening it with more strength than was necessary, still smiling.

Her smile faltered quickly, disappearing almost immediately after finding the room empty, the bloodied sheets they left on the floor - the only proof she had that any of this had been real - nowhere to be found.

She let herself fall to the floor, her knees suddenly touching the carpet, startling her. Of course... How would she feel if she had awakened to hear Obi crying in the bathroom after what they'd done? She was so, so utterly stupid she wanted to cry again.

This was her punishment, she was sure of it. Whatever force of nature or destiny or any shit like that that was messing with her. She was tired. Tired of thinking, of crying, and of realizing things too little too late.

She wanted to go find him, to explain all that her mind explained to her minutes ago, but she knew she couldn't. Not if he didn't want to be found.

So Shirayuki crawled into the bed again, hugging the pillow that had belonged to her best friend, and hoped that the fact that she returned to sleep with her hair soaking would hide her tears.

[paperjunk]

Life or Death - Chapter 06

Summary: Anger issues and memories of a horrific past biting at her heels, Kenzie Ames is pulled back into active service. Sent to Top Gun to help train a handful of Navy Pilots on how to survive their next mission, Ames’ resentment and anger may hurt her and those around her more than she knows if she can’t get it under control. Secrets weighing her down, Ames soon finds a Lieutenant’s persistent desire to know her maybe more than she can handle as the clock ticks away the time she has to make sure that not only do they come home, but the part of herself she left back in the cold, barren, tundra does too.

Author Notes: I am out of practice writing fanfiction. Sorry. This is an OC x Bradly Bradshaw or Reader x Bradly Bradshaw. All 3rd person pov.

Table of Contents: Will update as we go.

Chapter 01 | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03 | Chapter 04 | Chapter 05 | Chapter 06 | Chapter 07 | Chapter 08 | Chapter 09 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 |

A/N: Sorry this chapter was originally quite long so I decided to chop it in half. Also in case anyone is confused, large paragraphs in italics are flashbacks. Thank you! XD

The rhythmic sound of the cicadas in the late night air was sliced in half as metal on metal collided, echoes bouncing across the grocery store's parking lot that was predominantly empty save for the few employees that had the late shift. Shoes shuffling against the gritty pavement, Ames turned at the noise to spot a sky blue, first-generation Ford Bronco, and an image of a blue barbie beach cruiser she had as a child unexpectedly popped into her head with startling clarity. A smile that curled the corners of her lips gained momentum upon seeing Rooster, frozen at the side of what had to be his aforementioned barbie beach cruiser, staring at her. Ames started to laugh.

"Lieutenant," she said through a smile, grocery bags dangling at her fingertips.

"Shit," Rooster mumbled, looking between her and his car, fingers lingering on the handle as he took her in.

Ames was not someone he wanted to run into after last night. Despite Rooster's flirting endeavors, the two had disappeared into a dark corner of the Hard Deck together, and he had come damn near close to asking her to his place for a nightcap. But unfortunately, he remembered she was one of the mission instructors and stopped himself before the damage was done to both his pride and ego. The next day, he had found it hard to even look Ames in the eye as she had taken over the squad and returned to riding their asses. But there she was, looking at him...and...smiling? It was a smile that held too genuine of an emotion. It was too sincere to be mistaken for anything else. One of happiness if Rooster was right. There was no hidden sarcasm or anger behind it as it had reached her eyes, making them crinkle ever so slightly. Then, quite suddenly and wholly unexpectedly, something in Rooster shifted. Just a hop and skip to the left. But there it was.

"Major," he replied, giving her a small smile, gaze darting around the parking lot, looking for her car as he made his way over to her. "You getting groceries? Need help?"

Ames' smile relaxed, and she shrugged her shoulders, watching Rooster move closer, all tan skin contrasting against the white of his T-shirt. His Hawaiian shirt, ones of various shades and patterns, which Ames had dubbed his trademark, were mysteriously absent from his body that night. She could not stop her eyes from following his body as he stopped in front of her, and several thoughts all at once crowded her mind, pressing against each other for space. Giving her head a slight shake to pull herself out of the hole she was quickly digging for herself, Ames couldn't help but chuckle. 

'He's a lieutenant Kenzie,' she thought, scolding herself. 

She could admit Rooster was rather attractive, and she would never have thought a mustache on its own would do it for her, but what could she say? There he was, and there were her thoughts. Thoughts that were dipping into dangerous territory.

'Find a nice civilian,' she brooded, 'and not someone you're uncertain is going to be alive next month.'

"I'm okay. I'm not that far off," Ames replied aloud, letting her smile rise a tick.

Rooster looked out past the parking lot and into the darkness ahead. "I could give you a ride," he started to say, looking back to the Major, who still had a small smile playing across her lips as he watched her. "It's almost eleven, and you're walking home in the dark. I've no doubt you can handle yourself, but what would my mother say if I didn't give you a ride?"

He watched as Ames' grin broadened so much so that she started to bite the inside of her bottom lip to stop it, smile still pulling at the corners of her mouth. It was something he had noticed on the beach that night. His heart began to quicken, and his determination to keep his distance from her (something he had decided that morning) wavered inside of Rooster as he couldn't stop himself from smiling in response.

'What in the world is wrong with you?' He wanted to berate himself but knew it was pointless.

"Not surprised to see you here, Bradshaw," Phoenix said, and Rooster slowed down to let her catch up. "Another mission with Mav' already? I thought he decided to retire?"

Rooster shook his head. "Unlikely. He likes showing off too much," he chuckled. "What have you been up to the past year? You still with the Aces?"

"Still with them—Robert?" Phoenix said in surprise.

Bob smiled brightly, "You guys got the call too?"

"Good to see you, Bob. We're late," Rooster said, giving Bob a hard pat on the back before Phoenix could reply.

"You are late, Lieutenants!" Admiral Simpson exclaimed, watching them practically running down the hall in odd quick shuffling steps.

Rooster could hear footsteps behind him but ignored them as he quickly saluted and slipped into the mission briefing room through the second door farther down the hall.

Stopping briefly, he noticed someone was already sitting in the middle seat close to a closed and shuttered window. She was out of uniform, her black shirt exposing part of her shoulder as hair brushed against the back of her neck. Several long scars dipped below the collar of her shirt, piquing Rooster's interest.

"Who's that?" Phoenix asked quietly, stepping up beside Rooster, leaning forward slightly to catch the woman's profile. "Don't recognize her."

Rooster shrugged his shoulders slightly as Bob walked past them, taking a seat in the second row just as Hangman took one in the front, not yet having had the opportunity to see all the faces in the room.

"She's cute," Phoenix replied with a grin that was being pressed down rather badly. "Go sit by her."

"What?" Rooster responded, looking down at his friend, face full of disbelief. "What are you, my wingman?"

"Damn right!" Phoenix grinned. "You better, or someone else will."

Rooster laughed, shaking his head. "Not all of us can date our back seaters."

Phoenix's eyes went wide, and he suspected she would have hit him if there weren't witnesses. "I told you that in confidence, so shut your mouth, or I will," the woman growled low, eyes shooting daggers at her friend.

Rooster held his hands up placatingly as he backed up the aisle, a grin overtaking his face as he mimed, zipping his mouth shut.

"I'm going to punch that smug face of yours," Phoenix retorted.

Slipping into the middle seat on the woman's right, she started to shift away from him, making him wonder if sitting next to her had been a mistake when he noticed the collection of scar tissue higher up on her neck near the back of her jawline. He knew a thing or two about scars having a few of his own, and wondered just how many she had.

'Just introduce yourself, Rooster. What's your name? Where are you stationed? Seeing anybody?'

And then Hangman just had to open his mouth. That man did not know how to not be an asshole.

"If you ever want help messin' with him, let me know so I can get in on that," Rooster said, bending towards her. 

Her head turned in his direction, a smile lifting the corners of her lips. Too late, Rooster realized that he had tilted in a little too close in his desire to whisper to her. So close, he could, in fact, see specks of amber scattered in her green eyes, count three small moles following a line from the corner of her left eye, and light freckles splashed across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. In the space between one moment to the next, a tightness filled his chest, and a strange tingle raced up his spine, spreading out across his shoulders and the base of his skull. And just as quickly, it was gone.

Then the shit abruptly hit the fan.

"This is Major Kenzie' The King' Ames..." 

****************************************

A/N: Thank you for reading!! Next chapter up soon!

[teddybasmanov]

and the soul basks in the nirvana of resurrection

Chapter 1|Chapter 2: my laziness is flowing on the verge of enlightenment

Pairing: Freelancer/Gavin/Huxley/Damien/Lasko, background Elliott/Sunshine, background Avior/Starlight.

TW: coma, memory loss, memory alteration, mild angst/emotional hurt.

Notes: Words in italics are supposed to be not in English, words in singular quotation marks ‘like this’ are reader character’s (that’s the freelancer) thoughts. The freelancer is implied to be not from the US. Lyrics in the text and the titles are from this song. Everything is agonizingly good and tooth-rottingly sweet AU.

Word count: a bit over 2300.

who am I

and why do flounder

the thoughts

Half an hour before Cam’s arrival is spent in pretty relaxed banter and the freelancer finding out that some things never change. One of those things is apparently their phone and their music library on it. They scroll through their photo gallery, while their partners huddle around the bed, trying to look over their shoulder.

“So, this is the E&E closing, I’m assuming,” they look at the picture of Huxley and Damien wearing their medals, Huxley’s arm is wrapped around Damien’s shoulders and he’s trying his best to look displeased by it.

“Aha,” Lasko confirms, “if you want anything else you should scroll faster – there’re a lot of these,” he chuckles lightly.

The freelancer follows his advice and soon comes to something they recognize again, “And this is Friendsgiving!” they raise their gaze from the screen to the guys.

“It is,” Gavin smiles at them fondly, “It was wonderful, and your idea by the way.”

“As usual,” Damien joins in.

“Hey, dude!” Huxley goes to defend the freelancer.

“What? I was serious!” the fire elemental falls victim to his own usual sarcasm.

“Sure,” the freelancer wants to say something else but then someone knocks on the door. Cam’s habits are much more civilised than Gavin’s – he not only doesn’t’ rift in the middle of the room, he even politely asks if can come in.  

Camelopardalis is distinctly inhuman and it’s not clear what’s playing a bigger role in it – his gargantuan height, his horns or the aquamarine undertones of his skin and hair. He sends everyone a slightly distant smile.

“Punctual as ever,” Gavin grins in return.

“Of course, my friend,” Cam nods, “Good day, to all of you, and you’re the freelancer, I presume,” he looks straight at them.

“I think I am,” they answer and it sounds like everything between a joke and a genuine concern.

“Would you prefer some privacy, while we try to figure out your memory issue?”

“I…” the freelancer hesitates, “Yeah, probably, I wouldn’t want to make anyone worry,” they smile half-apologetically at their partners.

The elementals look at Gavin as if asking him if it’s okay to leave, he gets up and they follow him.

“Call if you need anything,” and with that Camelopardalis and the freelancer are left alone.

“Mind if I sit?”

They make an inviting gesture and the daemon sits at the foot of their bed.

“Can you explain what and how you remember or rather not remember in a little more detail?” his voice stays calm and soothing.

The freelancer repeats the story they’ve already told their partners – about everything being fiction.

“That’s an interesting case, I’ve never heard of anything like this, maybe I’ll be able to tell more if I see for myself. Only if you let me, of course,” Cam looks a little confused.

“Sure,” ‘Isn’t it what Gavin called you for?’ “Can I ask you just one question before that?”

“Ask away, I’ll answer what I can,” the daemon keeps his eyes on them.

“How’s Regulus?” the freelancer takes a shot in the dark and hits the target.

“How do you know him from?” it’s the first time Cam’s face significantly changes to express surprise. They don’t say anything, just raising an eyebrow to show that the answer is obvious.

“Oh, yeah,” Camelopardalis gets the memo, “He’s doing much better, his obsessive tendencies are almost gone, he’s still very protective of his charge though. They’re doing better too with his help – he’s so happy about it.”

“So, they’re together? He’s not contained in the department?” Now it’s the freelancer’s turn to be surprised.

“Why would he be at the department?” Cam’s dark eyes widen, “I’m friends with his steward – they’re great with empathy daemons with attachment issues, Regulus is going to be a very good daemon in time,” he smiles fondly again and the freelancer mirrors his expression.

“When you see him or his steward, please tell them that he helped me so much through some hard times. At least my memories are telling me that.”

“I’m sure he’ll be glad to know that,” Cam’s smile widens a bit.

“Okay,” the freelancer takes a deep breath, “Let’s see what’s wrong with my memory.”

“It won’t hurt, I promise,” the daemon puts his big hand with long elegant fingers right in front of their face and they feel something gentle but definitely foreign prodding their mind, pictures start flashing in their vision and they suddenly start feeling sleepy.

“It’s okay, relax, you’ll wake up when it’s over,” Camelopardalis says in his lulling voice.

When they open their eyes again, he’s looking at them with a strange expression.  

“I take it you didn’t like what you saw?”

“It’s not that, it’s just…” Cam stumbles.

“Were the parts about you true?” the freelancer makes a guess.

“Yeah,” he lowers his eyes, as if ashamed of his own discomfort.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to make you watch all of that again, even if from a different perspective,” they reach out to take his hand, slowly enough to give him time to move away. He doesn’t.

“It’s okay,” he smiles again even if it’s weak this time, “The good parts are also true, after all.” They sit in silence for a little while.

“So, about your memories,” Cam clears his throat, “I cannot return memories that aren’t there, I’m sorry. If you’d want to forget any of that, I’m at your service.”

“Thanks, I’d rather keep it, if not because it’s all I have, than to appreciate how good everything is in reality.” ‘Or at least seems to be for now.’

“Well, Gavin has my number, in case you change your mind,” the daemon shrugs, still looking a little guilty.

“I think I can call them back in,” the freelancer half-asks and Cam nods.

When their partners come in, Damien is the first to ask:

“Did it work?” to which the freelancer scrunches their nose and shakes their head.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to live with it,” they turn to the daemon again, “Thank you, Cam, anyway, it was nice seeing you.”

Gavin offers to walk him out and they leave for a few minutes. While they are out the elementals try to comfort the freelancer and the freelancer tries to persuade them, they don’t need comforting. When Gavin comes back to such a familiar picture, he suggests that everyone needs to eat and is met with a four-voice protest.

When the elementals are forced to leave to finally have their late lunch/early supper, Gavin stays with the freelancer and feeds them as well ‘Literally feeds, get your head out of the gutter’.

“I want to see if your tastes are still as I remember.”

“Well, I like you very much, so they can’t be that different,” they tease, as he conjures a tray of food on top of their hospital blanket. The food is good, as well as the feeling of Gavin’s palm resting on their knee. Trying to inquire if he himself is hungry, leaves them with a vague mention of Huxely having a free morning today, from which they deduct that no, Gavin is not indeed hungry.

When the rest of the polycule comes back the freelancer hesitantly offers:

“Since Elliott won't be here for a few more hours, maybe we’ll do some more fact checking? I can talk separately with each of you, so as not to… disclose anything that was private before.”

 Their partners agree and decide to go in the order of meeting.

…

“And then you told me your birth name.”

“You told me yours a few days after.”

…

“Did I cry when we discussed our families?”

“We both did.”

…

“You know I actually still like mini-golf.”

“I hope this time you can really play it.”

…

“And then we held hands on the trail.”

“Like this?”

“Like this.”

…

When they all gather in the freelancer’s room again they’re a little shaken by all the reminiscing, but mostly in a good way.

“While we still have a bit of time, can I take a wild guess?” the freelancer starts talking.

“Sure,” Gavin is settling on the side of their bed again.

“Gavin, do you know Avior?”

“Do you not?” he raises an eyebrow.

“Well, not in that quality,” they say with an uncertain intonation, “When did you see him the last time?”

“About a week before your accident. And you’ve seen him too, by the way, we had a double date,” Gavin says, uncertain of why Avior came up all of a sudden.

“Have you heard from him since?” the freelancer continues their inquisition.

“Well, we texted a few times. Why?” the incubus is getting more and more confused alongside the elementals, who are observing the scene.

“Can you call him now, please? I just need to hear him.”

“Sure. Avi? Am I interrupting something? So, you have a minute? Great. Yeah, so the freelancer has awoken and their memories aren’t that great at the moment and they want to talk to you. They’re worried, I’ll just let them explain themselves,” he passes the phone to the freelancer.

“Avior? Good afternoon.”

“Afternoon freelancer, good to hear from you again.”

“Can I ask you something? Full disclosure: it’s going to sound weird and like something I shouldn’t be aware of.”

“I’m already intrigued, go on.”

“Are you feeding off a dreamwalker, who’s obsessed with a cult?”

“No… Not at the moment at least, there was one a few years ago, but I left him when I got bored with his constant hatred.”

“Can you tell me a bit more about him? Anything weird? Any details that you still think about?”

“Actually yes. Firstly, I have visited him fairly recently and was surprised to find out that his academy friend has pulled him out of the cult. Secondly, I met my Starlight right after leaving that guy. I literally bumped into them.”

“Thank you, you’ve put my mind to a rest. Tell your partner, I said hi. Goodbye.”

“Bye,” they give the phone back to Gavin, “He’s not stuck in hell.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he chuckles, “the closest he probably was to it, was that double date I mentioned.” They raise an eyebrow, “Because you and his partner have persuaded us to go to a Dante inferno themed escape room. He was furious the whole time.”

The freelancer lets out a nervous laugh, ‘Well, how interestingly my brains work, apparently.’

The elementals, who kept watching the scene with growing bewilderment, decide to interfere.

“Hey,” Damien shuffles a little closer to the freelancer, “You don’t have to tell us anything but we’re glad, that things are better than you remember them being.”

“Believe me, I am also very glad,” they let out a more relaxed smile.

About five minutes after the agreed upon time, they hear another knock on the door and a round-faced man in a headband peaks through,

“Sorry, I’m a little late, they were refusing to let me in,” he grins, not seeming too displeased with it.

“It’s okay, come in,” the earth elemental waves to the incomer.

“Would you like us to leave again?” Gavin addresses the freelancer.

“I don’t think we’re going to find out anything we didn’t already with Cam, so you can stay if you want,” they shrug with one shoulder, “Good evening, Elliott,” they turn to the man who is settling down on a chair beside the bed.

“Evening, congratulations on waking up!” he says cheerfully.

“Thank you. At this point I’m honestly not sure what you can do, since the memory modifier was here already and couldn’t fix anything,” the freelancer spread their hands helplessly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” his demeanour falters, “I can tell what I saw in your dream if you want, or just answer some questions.”

“That would be nice. Actually,” they squint almost mischievously, “Did you accidentally call me sunshine while calling for me?”

“Yeah, I might have, sorry,” Elliott rubs the back of his neck.

“It’s okay, it was sweet,” the freelancer reassures them.

“So, did you actually hear it after all?” his curiosity takes over.  

“You were saying something about the screen in front of me being not real, right?”

“Yes, I did, actually,” he sounds surprised.

“Then I heard it, several times in fact. It affected me quite a lot,” they admit, biting the inside of their check. “May I ask you something not about my dream?”

“Sure,” Elliott draws the vowel, a little confused.

“Why are you in the city?” the freelancer asks in a suddenly strict voice.

“On a vacation with my partner,” he answers carefully.

“And that’s all?”

“And that’s all,” the dreamwalker is surprised by a sudden interrogation.

“Okay,” they pause, seemingly satisfied with the answer, “Say hi to Brachium, then.” They expect a reaction if not an overreaction, but Elliott just gives them a long look and, after they hold his gaze, says:

“Sure,” he rises from his chair, “I think I’ll go, you’re right, I can’t do much that a memory specialist couldn’t. Good luck in your recovery and good night,” he sends them a wave and another smile, which they return.

“Who’s Brachium?” Damien asks, when the dreamwalker leaves.

“He knows,” the freelancer answers evasively, while Gavin gives them an odd look. He might know more than they think he does.

Later in the evening, the doctor says that if everything is okay in the morning, the boys are free to take the freelancer home.

“Do we all live together?” they ask in happy surprise.

“Yeah, big house, personal rooms, a big one for… common activities,” Gavin answers in a smirk and a quirked up eyebrow.

“What? Like in 2012 Avengers fanfiction?” the freelancer lets out a half-chuckle half-scoff.

“You’ve already joked like this!” Lasko exclaims.

“At least twice, in fact,” Damien notices dryly.

“Well, I don’t remember it, so it doesn’t count!” they laugh, baring both rows of teeth and happily squinting.

Gavin stays with them for the night.

[wellsayhelloaagin]

Till Forever Falls Apart

Summary: A mission goes terribly wrong and the consequences are fatal.

Pairing: Wanda x Female Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 6.6k

A/N:. italics at the start are a flashback, in case anyone gets confused.

The inspiration came for this story after reading Liar by @peabrain112 so you should definitely go read it because it's an incredible story that haunts me.

The sunlight streaming in through the window woke you that morning.

You open one eye, squinting at the bright light before promptly closing it again. You roll over in an attempt to block it out and go back to sleep but instead encounter a warm body on the other side of the bed.

You smile to yourself and move closer to Wanda, slinging an arm around her waist and burying your face in her hair. You’re just about to fall back to sleep when you hear her let out a soft groan, her body shifting in your arms. You open your eyes again, your Y/E/C eyes meeting the green orbs of your girlfriend.

She groans again, burying her head in your chest and you chuckle lightly at her antics. Neither of you would consider yourselves morning people, but Wanda hated them far more than you did. You glance at the clock on your bedside table, registering the time.

You press a light kiss to the top of her head and you feel her sigh softly. “Time to get up sleeping beauty,” you whisper softly in her ear.

“Five more minutes,” she whines, pulling her head up to look at you, an adorable pout on her lips.

“No can do darling,” you say, quickly kissing her bottom lip, her pout melting away under your lips, “We have to be down at the briefing room in half an hour.”

She pouts again and once again buries her head in your chest, tangling her legs with yours under the blankets.

You close your eyes and bask in the moment for a few more minutes, thinking about some of the memories you shared with the woman in your arms.

You had been dating Wanda for a few years now, and you were positive that she was the person you would spend the rest of your life with. When you first met you had instantly found her attractive. Her wide green eyes and charming smile drew you in instantly. But the more you got to know her, the deeper the attraction became. You quickly became friends, spending all your spare time together.

You became a formidable team and the two of you were constantly assigned on missions together. You worked so well together, each of you anticipating the other’s needs and you had a 100% success rate on missions you shared.

You danced around your feelings for Wanda for months before you finally built up the courage to ask her out. You were worried about ruining the friendship you had with her, preferring to have her in your life as a friend than not at all, and you weren’t entirely sure she felt the same.

She had been surprised by your request. She had been harbouring feelings for you as well, but never dreamed that you would feel the same. She quickly accepted, and the two of you went on your first date.

It was a complete disaster. You had organised a romantic picnic on the roof, with a projector set up where you could watch old sitcoms with Wanda under the stars. Except nothing went according to plan. First, some of the food you prepared went missing from the fridge (you later found out that Thor had been visiting and didn’t realise that you sticking a post-it note with your name on it on the food meant that he couldn’t eat it), then when you attempted to turn the projector on you ended up breaking the circuit for the electricity on the roof, sending sparks flying from the powerpoint. When you went to go back inside, you found that the door had closed behind you, locking the two of you on the roof. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the clouds opened up and it began to rain.

You had looked over at Wanda, tears forming in your eyes at how the night had turned out. You just wanted to spend time with her and show her how much you cared but everything had gone wrong.

Wanda noticed your tears and wordlessly took your hand, leading you into the middle of the open space of the roof. She guided your hands to her waist, hers wrapping around your shoulders, and she began to rock slowly back and forth. You caught on quickly and began to sway with her, humming a tune under your breath. The two of you danced in the rain for a few more minutes, the stars your only source of light. You remember thinking how beautiful she looked at that moment, her damp hair sticking to her face and a soft smile on her lips. When she began leaning towards you, you met her halfway and your lips met in a soft kiss. You knew then that you loved her, that she was the one for you.

You open your eyes again, staring at the ceiling of your shared bedroom. After that first night, your relationship with Wanda continued to grow stronger. She was the one thing in your life you could count on, she knew you better than you knew yourself. The two of you were each other’s best friend, and she made your life complete.

You glanced at the clock again and saw that you only had twenty-five minutes before you needed to be downstairs, so you poked Wanda in the shoulder lightly.

“C’mon babe, we need to get up,” you say, holding back a yawn.

Wanda just shakes her head and buries further into your chest. You huff out a breath and try and think of a way to extract yourself from her iron grip around your waist.

You’re dragged out of your thoughts by wet kisses being trailed along your neck, your stomach instantly clenching. You close your eyes and savour the sensation as Wanda’s lips travel down your neck, inching closer to the tops of your breasts that are exposed by your sleep top. Her hands trail up your sides and you shiver at the sensation.

Before she can reach her destination and distract you completely, you come to your senses. With a frustrated groan, you halt the movement of her hands and she looks up at you with a frown on her face.

“Waaaaaanda,” you growl out at her playfully, “We don’t have time for this. I need to shower and I need coffee before I deal with Rogers this morning.”

She huffs at you, her eyes narrowing before she rolls off you and onto her back beside you.

“Fine,” she relents, sounding very much like a toddler who just had their favourite toy taken away.

You sit up slowly, swinging your legs over the side of the bed. You stand up and walk over to your adjoining bathroom, pausing in the doorway to look back at your girlfriend.

She’s also out of the bed now, and as you look at her she stretches her arms above her head, her shirt rising up and exposing her stomach. You feel your resolve weaken as you take in her sleep rumpled hair and exposed neck. Surely you could survive without coffee today?

“Wanda?” you call out to her, and she turns to face you. “Maybe we can be late, just this once,” you say as you turn and walk into the bathroom, already shedding your shirt.

There’s a wicked glint in her eye as she follows you quickly into the bathroom.

//

You’re impressed that you’re only two minutes late to the briefing. You wonder if anyone would even notice you were late, forgetting about Steves incessant need for punctuality.

You feel his glare on you as you walk into the briefing room, your hand in Wandas as she walks beside you, both of you sporting damp hair from the shower and matching grins. The two of you take a seat at the end of the table, and you try to ignore the knowing look Natasha gives you.

“Ok now that we’re all here,” Steve begins, sending a pointed look your way, “I’ll let you all know what’s going on.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatics and hear a soft giggle escape Wanda’s lips. You turn to her and make a face, which causes her to laugh louder.

Steve clears his throat deliberately, looking at the two of you again. You smile innocently up at him, unable to feel guilty at interrupting his meeting when Wanda is smiling at you the way she is.

“Alright,” he begins again, keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re done interrupting. You turn your attention to him, knowing that whatever he’s about to say is important. You do take your job seriously after all. “We intercepted a coded message from Hydra yesterday. They have a warehouse a few states over full of weapons that they’re looking to move tonight. We don’t know where they’re moving it to so we only have one shot to intercept these weapons.”

The team all begins to ask questions about the mission, and Steve goes over everyone’s roles. You’ve been partnered up with Wanda, tasked with finding the Hydra agents inside the warehouse and taking them out. Once all the finer details have been worked out the team leaves to go get ready. The light airy feeling you had from this morning is now replaced with a fierce determination.

As you and Wanda return to your room to get ready, you notice how quiet she is. It’s not unusual for her to be lost in her thoughts before a mission, but something about the way she’s avoiding your gaze fills you with worry.

“Hey,” you say softly to her, and she looks over at you. The look in her eyes makes your heart leap to your throat. “Are you ok?”

She blows out a breath before answering you. “Yeah, I just have this really bad feeling about today that I can’t shake.”

You walk over to her and wrap your arms around her shoulders, she leans into you, relishing in the comfort you provide.

“We’ll be fine,” you try to reassure her, but she pulls back to look into your eyes.

“You can’t promise that,” she whispers, her eyes full of fear and apprehension.

“Ok you’re right, I can’t,” you begin, moving your hands to cup her cheeks, “But I can promise that I’ll do everything I can to make sure that we both walk out of today.” You lean down and place a gentle kiss against her lips.

“And besides,” you continue after you pull away, “I don’t feel like breaking our streak of successful missions just yet. I don’t want to mess up perfection.” Your joke has the desired effect, and Wanda smiles up at you.

“You’re such a dork,” she says, pushing your shoulder lightly.

You clutch your hand to your chest in mock outrage, and she laughs at your theatrics.

“I may be a dork, but you’re the one who loves me anyway,” you reply, your arms wrapping around her waist as she rolls her eyes at you.

“Yep, silly me,” she teases before leaning in to join your lips once more.

//

An hour later you’re sitting on the quinjet, looking over the blueprints for the warehouse for what felt like the hundredth time. You wanted to make sure you’ve memorised every single room, you didn’t want to give the Hydra agents any chance to get away. Natasha pours over the blueprints with you, she was entering through the opposite side of the building to you, tasked with extracting any files from their databases before they could erase them.

The rest of the team were sitting quietly throughout the aircraft, each one doing a final check of their equipment. You could see Wanda out of the corner of your eye, summoning red balls of energy in her hand, getting warmed up for the action.

“Well I think we have it all covered,” Natasha said, rolling up the blueprints. “As long as there aren’t any hidden rooms that aren’t on the blueprints this should be a fairly straightforward mission.”

You nod at her before walking over to sit with Wanda. As you sit beside her, the energy from her hands disappears, her eyes changing from glowing red to back to green. You reach down and grab her hand, warm from using her powers, and bring it to your lips, placing a soft kiss against her palm.

“Ok everyone, we’re about five miles out from the warehouse,” Steve said, standing in the middle of the space. The jet begins to lower to the ground, landing in a field surrounded by trees. You all stand and form a huddle around Steve, a tradition that was started a long time ago.

“Stay safe out there, make sure you look after your partner, and stay focused on the mission. If everything goes to plan we’ll be taking a lot of weapons out of Hydra’s hands tonight.” As Steve spoke, you gripped Wanda’s hand tightly, and she offered you a reassuring squeeze.

As you always did at the end of the huddle, the team ended up in one large group hug before parting. It really was one big dysfunctional family, and you knew that no matter what, the team all loved one another.

The plan was to travel by foot to the warehouse, wanting to keep the element of surprise. While Tony had installed a stealth function on the quinjet, no one wanted to take the chance of alerting Hydra to your arrival before the ambush started. One of the pilots was going to stay on board, and when you breached the facility they would fly the jet closer for extraction.

You said your goodbyes to the team before you all parted ways, heading in different directions to your starting locations.

You didn’t talk much to Wanda as you walked with her, still going over the blueprints in your head and preparing for what lied ahead. Her hand was steady in yours though, and every now and then you would catch each other’s eye and smile softly.

The comms crackle to life every so often with the team stating they are in position and waiting for Steve’s signal. You can’t help but notice the way Wanda tenses every time someone starts to speak. You frown as you realise she’s still feeling uneasy after your conversation earlier.

When you reach your position, hidden in the loading dock of the warehouse, you press the button of your own comms device before speaking. “All set Cap, awaiting orders.”

“Roger that,” you hear in your ear as he responds to your message.

You check your watch and notice that there’s still a while to wait before the action is scheduled to start. It was decided that waiting for nightfall was the best option, everyone agreeing that the cover of darkness would benefit the team.

The sun is beginning to set, casting an orange glow over the whole area. You look over at Wanda and once again find yourself captivated by her beauty.

She’s looking away from you and you study her profile in the dying light. The curve of her nose; the light dusting of freckles across her cheeks; the delicate column of her neck, which was one of your favourite places to get lost in; the way her soft lips were turned up ever so lightly in a gentle smile. You once again find yourself overwhelmed with your love for her.

Wanda glances over at you and catches you staring, her nose scrunching up and her eyes twinkling with amusement. “What?” she questions when you continue to stare at her, “Do I have something on my face?” She brings her hand up to brush at her cheek, smiling over at you.

“Marry me?” you blurt out, and Wanda’s eyes go wide, her hand frozen on her cheek.

“What?” she chokes out after a moment.

“Uh, I mean. Shit, not like that. I just, I didn’t mean,” you stutter out as your brain tries to catch up to your mouth. “Ughhh,” you growl out frustratedly, burying your head in your hands.

You huff out a frustrated breath and curse your lack of filter. You slowly drag your hands down your face and chance a look at Wanda. She’s still frozen in shock, her green eyes still staring at you.

“Sorry,” you mumble, “Forget I said anything.”

You watch as her face falls, her brows furrowing as a frown graces her features. “So you didn’t mean it?” She asks you.

You take a breath to try and compose yourself before you reply. “I mean, it’s not that I didn’t mean it you know? It’s just that it’s way too soon, isn’t it? I mean we’ve only been dating for two years. Yeah, we’ve known each other longer than that, but does that count? And yea every time I think of my future, I picture the two of us together. But I honestly hadn’t given it too much thought. I was just standing there and you looked so beautiful, I mean you always do, but with the sun setting you were just glowing and all I could think about was how much I love you, and how lucky I am to call you mine. But you deserve a grand proposal, with like flowers and a string quartet and fairy lights or something. It should be special you know and thought out. I mean I don’t even have a ring for crying out loud. And you deserve more than a half-formed thought blurted out right before the start of a mission because I’m an idiot who doesn’t have a filter.” You started pacing as you ranted at her, missing the amusement on her face. You stop and turn to face her, a blush on your cheeks as you once again realise you just spewed out your thoughts to her without thinking.

She just cocks an eyebrow at you before responding. “You about done yet?” She asks her tone light and teasing.

“I think so,” you quip back, nodding at her. “But I-” you try to continue before she cuts you off.

“Zip it, it’s my turn to talk now.” she levels you with a stare, and you stop mid-sentence, making a show of zipping up your lips. She laughs lightly, before taking a step toward you, grabbing both your hands in hers.

“Y/N, these past two years have been the best years of my life. You make me happier than I can ever remember feeling. With the Avengers, I found a family. But with you, I found a home. When I picture my future I see you in it as well, you’re it for me. There’s no one else I could ever want more. So sure, some people may say it’s too soon, but screw them. I love you, and you love me. It should be that simple.” She squeezes your hands lightly, and you feel tears swimming in your eyes.

“So, what are you saying?” you ask, unsure if you’re reading into her words too much.

“I’m saying yes,” she whispers, before cupping your cheeks and bringing your lips together.

The kiss is chaste and sweet. When Wanda pulls back you can see tears trailing down her cheeks. Your own tears of happiness have begun to fall, and you feel as though your smile will split your face in half.

You gaze at your girlfriend, no wait fiance, and she returns your stare, her eyes shining with love. You feel your heart soar as you begin to think of how you get to spend forever with Wanda by your side.

The comms crackling to life bring you both back to reality. “One minute until breach,” You hear Steve say.

You drop Wanda’s hands, placing one last quick kiss on her lips, before the two of you crouch down and creep over to the door at the edge of the loading dock.

“30 seconds,” Steves’s voice breaks the silence again, and you draw your gun from its holster. You see Wanda summoning wisps of energy in her hands, her eyes shining a deep red.

You square your shoulders, tense and ready to fight. You know what you have to do. You’re good at your job. You were determined to make it out of this mission alive. You glance over at Wanda, knowing that you needed to make it out alive for her. You had your whole future ahead of you, and you wanted to spend it with her.

“Standby in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…”

//

The mission started off exactly as planned. Once Wanda had blasted open the back door of the warehouse, the two of you methodically made your way down the corridors. Hydra agents had tried to stop you, but the two of you were a well-oiled machine.

You fired rounds off, hitting your targets every time. Wanda used her powers to fling assailants out of the way. You cleared room after room, making your way to the basement where you knew the weapons were being held.

You could hear through the comms that Steve had already made it to the weapons, his route clear of enemies. Natasha had already made it through their firewall and was in the process of downloading their encrypted files. The rest of the team were having similar successes. Everything was going according to plan.

You made your way to the top of the basement stairs, Wanda right behind you. You descend quickly, meeting Steve and other members of the team in the well-lit area. Natasha informed you that she had checked the security cameras and it looked as though all of the Hydra agents were taken care of.

Wanda and Steve had begun to move the weapons, using their enhanced abilities to their advantage. The rest of you walked along with them, keeping an eye out for any rouge agents lurking around corners.

The quinjet was quickly loaded and you all began congratulating each other on another successful mission. S.H.I.E.L.D was minutes away, ready to take the Hydra agents into custody. Natasha had finished downloading the files and was making her way back through the warehouse to the aircraft with Sam in tow.

“Hang on,” you hear Steve call out behind you, where he had been counting the boxes of weapons, “I think we’re one short.”

You look over to the captain and see his brow furrowed as he counts again. You jog over to him, and he turns to face you. “We must have left a box behind somewhere.” He frowns, unsure how the whole team could have missed something as important as this.

“Don’t stress Cap, Wanda and I will run back in to grab it.” You clap a hand on his shoulder in reassurance.

“Just be careful Y/N,” he says, tone serious “Even one box of explosives in the hands of Hydra is dangerous.” You nod at him before making your way over to Wanda.

“There’s a box unaccounted for,” you tell her quietly, “I said we’d go back for it.”

She quickly begins to follow you back to the warehouse, and the two of you waste no time making it back to the basement. You search around the empty area, not finding anything.

“You sure there’s one missing Rogers?” you say into the comms, growing frustrated with the search.

“Positive,” he replies, and you trust him, so you continue to look.

“Maybe it’s not down here,” Wanda suggests, and you agree. You decide to search the rooms one by one to see if it was hidden somewhere else.

“We may need some help,” you call into the comms, “we’re going to need to search of the entire warehouse, it’s definitely not down here.”

“Copy that,” you hear Natasha reply, “We’re on our way back in.”

You begin to climb the stairs with Wanda in front of you, looking down at your feet so you don’t trip. As you ascend, you notice the corner of a wooden crate peeking out between two of the stairs.

You halt your movements, calling out to Wanda to grab her attention. “I think it’s hidden under the stairs there,” you say pointing at the crate.

Wanda motions you to move out of the way, using her powers to lift the box carefully. It begins to float through the air towards the two of you.

Just as the box reaches the bottom of the stairs, you notice a shadow cross the doorway. You look up expecting to see a member of your team, but instead, you’re met with the face of a Hydra agent, a dagger in his hands, the blade glinting in the light.

In the second it takes for you to call out to warn Wanda, he has already thrown his weapon. You feel it lodge in your abdomen, a sharp pain blooming from the site. You’ve already raised your gun and fired off a round, the bullet hitting him in the chest as he falls to the floor.

The commotion causes Wanda to lose focus, and she drops the crate to the ground. There is a second of quiet before the unstable explosive inside detonates, sending the two of you flying. The stairs you were standing on collapse into a pile of debris and you feel yourself hit the hard concrete floor, the force of the impact driving the knife further into your body. You grunt out in pain, as the dust settles in the air around you.

You can hear Wanda’s cries of pain nearby, and you try to call out to her, but your breaths are coming out in short gasps. The pain from the stab wound is radiating through your chest, and your vision starts to blur.

“What happened, we heard an explosion?” You hear Natashas voice in your ear, breathless as if she were running.

With the little energy you could muster you raise your hand toward your ear to reply, “Basement,” you manage to choke out.

“Is everyone ok?” You hear Sam this time, the rushing of wind accompanying his voice leading you to believe he was flying toward you.

“No,” you groan out, the pain intensifying. You suspect that you have some broken ribs with the effort it’s taking to breathe.

“Y/N?” you hear Wanda calling out, her voice desperate. The dust is clearing now and you can see her frantically searching for you in the rubble.

Her eyes find you and she immediately runs over, falling to her knees beside you. Tears fill her eyes as she notices the knife in your side and the way your chest is rising and falling with shallow breaths.

“Hang in there baby,” She whimpers, as her tears begin to fall, “Help is on the way.”

You cry out in agony, the pain intensifying with every passing second as your adrenaline starts to wane. Wanda lifts her hand from the floor, intending to reach out and smooth your hair back from your forehead in an attempt to comfort you. Instead, she gazes at it in horror, her hand covered in a warm red liquid that she quickly realises is your blood. She can feel it seeping through her pants as she kneels beside you.

She lets out a choked sob before raising her hand to her ear, and you hear her panicked voice through the comms. “You need to hurry, Y/N, she’s been stabbed. There’s blood everywhere and oh god, please just hurry.”

“We’ll be there in a minute, hang in there Y/N,” You hear Steve reply, his voice steady and even.

You look up at Wanda, frowning when you notice the gash above her left eyebrow. Her eyes are looking at you, full of fear and panic. Tears are streaming silently down her face, her bottom lip trembling. Even at this moment, you still find yourself captivated by her beauty.

“Wanda,” you say, your voice strained as you struggle to draw a breath, “I love you so much.”

You see realisation dawn on her face and she starts to shake her head back and forth, clenching her eyes shut. “Stop,” she whispers, “Not like this.”

You draw in another shaky breath, determined to say your final goodbye before it’s too late. You can feel the shock setting in. The pain is starting to fade now, your thoughts becoming a cloudy haze as you struggle to stay awake.

“I love you, and I’m so glad I got to meet you,” you continue, each word rasped out between stuttered breaths. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I am so thankful I got to call you mine”

“No, Y/N,” she cuts in, grasping your hand in hers, “You can’t die. Not like this, not now. Help is coming, you have to hang on for me baby. Please, can you hang on for me?”

“I’m so c-cold,” you stutter out, your body trembling, your eyes beginning to close.

“Y/N, look at me. Don’t close your eyes, stay with me,” Wanda is gripping your face between her hands as she pleads with you. You strain to keep your eyes locked on hers, your eyelids feeling heavy.

“That’s it, Y/N/N, just a little longer,” she smiles down at you. “Help will get here, and you’ll be ok. Then we can get married and live a long and happy life together. You just need to hold on a little longer, can you do that for me?”

You try to reply, but you can feel your energy fading fast, so instead, you nod slightly. Wanda notices and bends down to press a soft kiss against your forehead, her lips warm against your cool skin.

You hear a flurry of movement nearby as the team rushes into the room. The voices all begin to blur together as Wanda fills them in on what happened. You look up at her and her eyes still haven’t left yours.

Suddenly you’re being lifted into Sam’s arms, the pain returning as he takes off, rushing to get you to the hospital before it’s too late. You close your eyes now, no longer able to fight the darkness that drags you in.

Your last thought before you pass out from the blood loss is of Wanda.

//

The first thing you notice when you regain consciousness is the incessant beeping of a machine nearby. It lulls you from your peaceful slumber, and as you slowly wake up you begin to remember the events of the day. They flash before your closed eyes in quick succession.

The explosion, the pain, the knife being thrown at you, fighting the Hydra agents, Wanda crying over your body, Wanda smiling at you, Wanda accepting your proposal.

Your eyes snap open and you regret it almost immediately. The bright lights above your bed burn into them, and you start to bring your arm up to block the fluorescent light. Regret number two; the sudden movement of your arm jostles your body and you feel pain shoot across your chest. You groan out loud and hear the beeping of the monitor pick up its pace.

This attracts the attention of Wanda, who is by your side in an instant. “You’re awake,” she breathes out, and the smile on her face is so wide it’s almost comical.

“How long was I out?” you question, your voice raspy. You realise how dry your throat feels, and look around for something to drink.

As if sensing your discomfort, Wanda grabs a cup from your bedside table, filling it with cool water from the jug resting there. She places a straw in the cup and brings it to your lips, and you greedily gulp down the cool liquid, the scratchiness of your throat dissipating immediately.

“Better?” she asks, quirking her brow. You hum in agreement. “A few hours,” she says, answering your earlier question, “We got here about seven hours ago and they took you straight to surgery. You’ve been in recovery for about three hours now.”

You nod, the action causing your vision to blur. You close your eyes again and grimace at the way your whole body feels as though you’ve been hit by a truck.

Wanda notices you tense and grabs your hand in hers gently. “Are you in pain?” she asks quietly and you nod again, a small whimper escaping your lips. “I’ll go grab the nurse,” she says quickly, kissing the back of your hand before carefully placing it back on the bed and rushing out of the room.

Half an hour later, after the doctor had checked you over and the increase in your morphine had started to take effect, you were sitting up in bed. Wanda sat cross-legged on the edge of your bed, her hands playing with yours as they rested in her lap.

“So what happened?” you asked her, her hands stilling momentarily. “The last thing I really remember is Sam lifting me up.”

She takes a deep breath before replying, “Well he flew right out of the warehouse and straight here. The doctors had already been called and alerted of what was going on so they were ready when you arrived. By the time the rest of us made it here, you were already in surgery.”

She laces her fingers with yours, her thumb stroking the back of your hand. “It was touch and go for a while there, but they managed to repair the damage from the stab wound. You have three broken ribs and a lot of bruises but that’s it. You’re so lucky.”

“I don’t feel lucky,” you try and joke, “Looks like I’ve got a lot of bed rest ahead of me and you know how bored I’m going to be.”

Wanda looks up at you, her eyes swimming with tears. “God I was so scared Y/N,” she whispers. A sob escapes her then as the tears begin to fall. You pull her towards you, and she melts into your touch, head resting on your chest as she cries. You wrap her in your arms and hold her tight, your hand gently stroking the hair on the back of her head.

“Hey, shhh, I’m fine now,” you try to soothe her. “I’ll be ok.” You press a kiss to the top of her head.

“I didn’t think you were going to make it,” she confesses, pulling back to look into your eyes. “There was so much blood, and then you were saying goodbye and I thought that was it.” She closes her eyes as she speaks, screwing them tightly shut as if to shut out the painful memories.

“Well, I couldn’t leave you yet. We have a wedding to plan after all,” you say, your tone light and teasing in an effort to break up the tension of the room. Wanda chuckles lightly and wipes the tears from her face.

“Next time I have a bad feeling, we stay in bed. Deal?” she asks, although her tone leaves no room for argument. You just nod at her and she laughs, leaning down to place a short but passionate kiss against your lips.

“What about you,” you say, and she looks at you with confusion. “How are you feeling?” you clarify, gesturing to the bandage on her forehead, obscuring the cut there.

“Oh,” she says, raising her hand to touch the bandage like she had forgotten it was there. “I hit my head when I fell, it’s not that bad though. I didn’t even need stitches. Besides a headache that won’t go away, I’m fine.” she shrugs as she finishes before a sly grin takes over her face. “So about this wedding…?”

//

The two of you spend the next hour discussing the plans for your wedding. You both agree that you don’t want anything big and lavish, preferring instead to have something small and intimate with the people closest to you. You decide on the roof of the compound to hold the ceremony, a callback to the location of your first date.

All the details fall into place easily and you find yourself growing excited at the thought of being able to call Wanda your wife. An interesting turn of events considering she’s only been my fiance for a day, you think to yourself.

“Ok, so now the big question,” you ask as you lean against Wanda, who has joined you in the bed. Your legs are tangled under the blankets, her arm is around you as you rest against her chest. “When do we want to get married?”

“I’ve always liked the idea of a fall wedding,” she replies, her hand absentmindedly tracing patterns along your back, “How about September?”

“Sounds perfect,” you say, “Only fourteen more months until I get to be Y/N Y/L/N-Maximoff.”

“Actually, I meant this coming September,” she confesses quietly, and you sit up to look at her properly.

“You’re serious?” you ask, studying her face.

She sits up too, taking your hands into hers.

“Y/N, I almost lost you today. I don’t want to waste any more time. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so why wait? You’re my forever, so let’s start forever as soon as possible.” She looks at you tenderly and you can’t help but lean into her and press your lips to hers.

The kiss is slow and languid, full of love and promises. When you pull away, you rest your foreheads together, both of you smiling.

“Ok, let’s do it,” you whisper, your breath fanning across her face, “let’s get married in September.”

Wanda squeals and hugs you lightly, careful of your injuries.

“Well now that’s all worked out,” she declared, moving up to stand beside your bed, “I’m going to see if I can get a nurse to give me something for this damn headache.”

She bends down to kiss you lightly, “Back in a minute,” she murmurs against your lips.

“Mmmmk, love you,” you hummed as she pulled back.

“Love you too,” she called out over her shoulder as she walked toward the door. You smile and settle down into the bed, closing your eyes and relishing in the content feeling. You’re not sure you can remember a time you were this happy.

Wanda’s gasp of pain made you look up, your heart dropping as you saw her clutch her head and fall to the floor. Her body began to convulse as you jump out of bed, wires tearing from the machines and setting off alarms. You reach her side, ignoring the pain in your body, and kneel beside her. Her eyes have rolled into the back of her head and you feel helpless as her body slowly stops moving.

“Wanda, hey, wake up!” you cry out, clutching her shoulders tightly. “Help!” you yell out, screaming desperately over and over again, hoping someone would hear you.

Suddenly the door opens and the room is flooded with nurses and doctors. You feel arms lift you away from Wanda and back towards your bed, but you don’t pay them any attention, your eyes glued to her prone form on the floor. There is a flurry of movement as they examine her before she’s lifted onto a stretcher and wheeled away. You pray for her to be ok, but your prayers aren’t answered.

Later the doctors will sit you down and explain what happened. You hear the words intracranial hematoma and we did everything we could, but all you can register is the overwhelming pain radiating inside of you. Wanda was gone, and you now had to find a way to go on living without her. You had promised each other your forevers, you just didn’t think that forever would fall apart so soon.

Taglist: @olsensnpm (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist)

[nothing-but-dreamy]

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 1

Summary: YN is a Detective and the partner of Gavin Reed, number one douchebag of the Detroit City Police Department. After a forced break, she comes back. She’s looking forward to working with her partner again and to getting back into her ‘normal’ life between case files and criminals. But, of course, it doesn’t stay boring for too long: Gavin seemed to be more on the edge than usual, a Red Ice dealer might be a good lead to something bigger and then, there is Connor, the friendly, handsome android and Hank’s new partner.

Added to the fact that yn has to deal with the criminal world again, she also discovers feelings she hasn’t noticed before triggered by a person she hasn’t expected.

Her life always resembled a ride on a rollercoaster.

But now, it’s a whole damn circus parade.

Characters: Gavin Reed, YN (FEMALE!Reader), Hank Anderson, Connor

Words: 2.472

Warnings: signs of PTSD (flashbacks in italics), cursing (a lot), mention of blood

"He's totally crazy. He shoots at everything that moves. It's impossible to get close to him.", yn stated. "But we have to stop him somehow."

"Stay here. I have an idea. Over there, the left spot is free. He will barely notice me.", Gavin said and pointed in the direction.

"Gavin, no!", Yn cursed as he slipped through her grip, "Gavin!", she tried again to call him back but her partner was already too far away, "Fuck!"

Gavin ran to the left side like mentioned. Yn stayed behind the hide and watched the scene concerned. She was trying to cover Gavin whenever needed. What Gavin couldn't notice was that the crazy guy had seen him.

Even if she tried everything to get the guy's attention, Yn watched in horror how the suspect aimed at Gavin who sneaked through the room completely unaware that he was the target in the line of fire.

The suspect aimed his gun into Gavin's direction and waited til he would appear on the other side of the pillar where Gavin tried to hide.

There was no way that yn would be able to stop the guy. He was too far away and behind a half broken wall. But she was convinced that she could help Gavin. That was what she did without thinking twice: she ran towards Gavin. As she reached him to push him out of the way, the suspect fired his gun two times.

Of course Gavin was cursing as he hit the ground unexpectedly, not knowing what had pushed him. He hurried to get back on his feet and as he saw that the suspect's gun had been running out of bullets, Gavin shot to stop him.

Gavin made sure that the suspect was no threat anymore. Officers were running into the room to arrest the shooter. And only then, Gavin noticed yn lying on the ground and all the blood pouring from her body...

Gasping for air, Gavin started up from his sleep and sat straight in his bed, "Fuck...", he cursed breathlessly. He was dripping with sweat, his hair clutching to his face. Three o'clock in the morning. Just two hours of sleep but still more than the night before...or all the other nights during the past weeks.

Gavin pushed his blanket away, sat on the edge of his bed and rested his face in his hands to calm down himself. His fingers were digging into his hair violently as he desperately tried to get the memories out of his head. He squeezed his eyes shut until stars were dancing in front of his inner eyes.

A shudder was shaking him. Goosebumps were spreading over his naked chest. To sit around like this, covered in sweat, wouldn't do anything good. And because he was already awake, Gavin stood up, took his boxing gloves and started to train until the pictures in his head would disappear.

He knew this would never happen.

He should have been better.

He had failed yn.

**

To stay in front of this certain building after all these long weeks felt like coming home. At least, for yn. She was nervous but in a good way that shot adrenaline through her body. It was like the first day at school after the summer break. She didn't have to fear anything. Everyone would be happy to see her again. And yet, she extended the moment to go in. It was not an official visit. She just wanted to come back because...she feared to miss too many things.

Yn had heard the rumors of Hank's new partner. An android. Then, there were the happenings that got called 'War of Detroit', the successful android revolution. So many things had changed and yet, yn knew that there was still this one, certain absolute term. Her own rock in this ocean of craziness she could always depend on: Gavin Reed, her partner.

Yn was looking forward to seeing all the familiar faces again and without waiting any longer, she entered the DPD finally.

*

Gavin stood in the kitchen of the DPD at one of the tables, his back facing the office so he hadn't to see anyone. The last thing he wanted was to talk with someone. A cup of coffee stood in front of him. He watched the foam floating around on the dark liquid. It was his third cup. And it wouldn't be the last.

"Good morning, Detective Reed."

Gavin nodded without looking up. Even if Gavin had made his peace with Connor, the nice android from the neighborhood, he was still getting on his nerves from time to time. This morning was such a 'time'. His thoughts always drifted back to his recurring dreams of yn…

"Reed.", Hank greeted Gavin, who nodded quickly. Without asking, Hank and Connor joined Gavin at the table. An own cup of coffee in front of Hank. He sugared it and stirred the liquid that would start his day.

Connor was about to say something, maybe to light up the mood of these two grumpy guys, but Hank stopped him, "Shit! Look who's there.", he said and looked at someone behind Gavin's back.

Gavin looked up and saw Hank and Connor staring at the same spot so, he turned around, "No fucking way!", Gavin called out surprised and approached yn quickly who stood in the passage of the kitchen. A smirk was spreading on his lips as he saw her in the familiar environment.

Yn smiled and waved but as she saw Gavin's predatory glance and the smirk, she stepped back and raised her hands to stop him, "Gavin, no. Stop! Gavin!" The impact of her partner knocked all the air out of her lungs.

He snaked his arms around her waist and scooped her up, "I have missed you, shorty!", he cheered.

Yn chuckled until she got put back down on her feet a moment later, "I have missed you, too, idiot!", she said. Together, Gavin and yn went back to the table to Hank and Connor, "I'm- what? Away for six weeks and everything went south? Detroit fights a civil war against androids who started a revolution? Everything's a warzone, suddenly and I'm not a part of that? Boys, I thought you could handle it better without me.", she said smirking and crossed her arms.

"We did what we could but there were just too many of these things.", Gavin said serious.

As yn looked at Gavin with an amused expression, her eyes fell on the fourth person at the table, "Oh, and who are you?"

"My name is Connor.", the android answered.

"My new partner.", Hank added.

"Your new- bloody hell! I already heard the rumors but- Nice to meet you. I'm yn. Whenever you need help with the old man, come to me.", yn said with a wink.

"Very funny!" Hank grunted but yn saw the grin on his face.

As Gavin saw the glances between Connor and yn, he stepped between them. Gavin wasn't fond of the way the android looked at her.

"So, you're 'back' back?", Gavin asked hopefully.

"I'm still not fully recovered. I have to attend a few dates with the psycho-doc AND I have to pass the shooting test. Then I will be back. I guess one more week. I just have missed all this so much, I had to come over.", yn said grinning.

"I guess, there will be no problem for you to pass everything, kiddo.", Hank said encouragingly.

"Thanks Hank-"

"Of course, she will pass all this bullshit! And then, she will be back. The precinct was way too boring without you!", Gavin said excitedly.

Yn saw his eyes sparkling and the familiar grin. She considered saying something nice but she always loved to tease this douchebag. It was their thing, "No new recruits to torture, huh?"

Gavin's smile faltered and he squinted his eyes as he saw her smirking, "I never-"

Yn nodded understandingly, "Ohh...I see... No women to hunt either? You poor thing!", she patted his cheek to act playfully caring.

Gavin couldn't do anything else than just to laugh before he brought her into a bear hug, completely enveloping her, "Oh, how much I have missed you!", Gavin stepped back, ruffled her hair, and laid his arm around her shoulders before they walked to his desk.

Connor watched after them. Overwhelmed by her entrance, the way she was handling Gavin and how different the Detective was around her, "Where was she?", he asked Hank finally.

Confused, Hank looked at his partner, "What?"

"Where was yn? She said she was gone for several weeks. Where had she been? Vacation?"

"Oh .. uhmm, no. She... During their last case, she got injured. She had to recover. It's good that she will be back soon, tho.", Hank explained, smiling about the fact yn was coming home.

"Detective Reed seems different around her.", Connor stated, still confused about all the smiles and laughter coming from Reed.

"I guess it's her magical power. She's able to handle him where anyone else failed a long time ago."

Connor looked at her once again. Yn stood with Gavin, Chris and some other cops at the desk, talking and laughing. She was truly magical. Nice, funny, cheeky, beautiful. He was looking forward to working with her. Then, she came back to them.

"Hey, I got appetite for the best burger in town. Wanna join?", she called over to Hank who nodded with a grin. Gavin rolled his eyes but she just nudged him in his side. Connor got dragged out of his thoughts and followed his three colleagues. Yn already waited for him to join. Much to Gavin's dismay she linked her arm with the android's one but he swallowed down his annoyance for the greater good.

*

They drove to the Chicken Feed truck. The best burger in town, how Hank had titled them. While the three made their orders, Connor organized a table. All three went to the table with burgers and drinks. Simultaneously, they bit into their burgers.

"You know, this meal contains 1.4 times the recommended daily intake of calories. You shouldn't eat-"

"Shut up!", Gavin and Hank yelled at the same time. Connor silenced instantly.

Yn looked alternating at Hank and Gavin before she stopped at Connor, "Connor, honey, very important rule: don't fuck the boys up when it comes to their food. It's not a good idea."

"But it's unhealthy.", Connor argued innocently.

Yn nodded slowly, knowing what he meant before she looked at her burger closely, "Well, I’m spotting salad, tomato and even pickles on our burgers. These are three different types of vegetables. It's more healthier than everything else we're used to consuming. Don't forget that we usually got fueled by coffee and donuts. Only."

Connor nodded and let them eat. He had learnt that humans knew how to live the best way but some of them didn't just want to do it right. Maybe it wasn’t for him to change their behaviour.

"Hey, sweety. Want some bread?”, Yn asked and threw a small piece of bread on the ground.

Hank followed the way of her attention and rolled annoyed with his eyes, "Oh, these disgusting creatures!", Hank muttered. Yn looked questioningly up to Connor.

"Lieutenant Anderson doesn't like pigeons.", Connor explained.

"That sounds like a story. I wanna know it!", yn said amused with a big grin, waiting for Hank to speak up.

Hank grinned but shook his head, "Someday, I will tell you what I had to endure with this guy but not now.", Hank said and he and Connor said goodbye. Hank hugged yn before they left her and Gavin alone.

Gavin and yn started to walk around a bit, enjoying the sunny winter day, "You look tired. Have you been very busy the last few weeks?", yn asked.

"No, it was okay. Nothing much. The typical stuff, you know.", Gavin said, his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket, playing with some coins.

"Oh, yeah... So, you just didn't want to see me then?", she asked, looking at him from the corner of her eyes, watching his reaction.

Gavin avoided her eyes, looking at the ground, "Yn…", he sighed, "I…", but he stopped. Unsure what he should say.

Yn nudged him with her shoulder, a soft smile on her lips as she saw his pained expression, "It's okay. I'm not mad. I was just… it was boring, you know. If you would have visited more often, maybe it would have been more fun to recover.", she said jokingly but it wasn't working, the painful expression stayed in his face.

"I really doubt that.", Gavin said low, still not able to look at her.

"What?", Yn asked surprised and stopped.

Gavin stopped as well, facing her with his back, "I- I… forget it.", Gavin said and was about to go but yn stopped him with her hand holding his arm and turning him around.

"Gavin, what is it?"

Gavin needed a moment before he looked at yn, as he did, it was with a serious expression, "It's my fault that you got injured in the first place."

Slightly taken aback that it was this topic that still bothered him, yn frowned and looked at him with big eyes and shaking her head, "No. It was the fault of this fucker-"

"No! You wouldn't have been shot if I hadn't been so stupid! I have failed you as a partner and as a friend!", Gavin called out angrily, torturing himself.

Yn intervened right away, "Stop that, Gavin! It's not your fault, okay? Your idea was good. This guy was simply just too crazy."

Gavin dropped his gaze, not able to look into her eyes any longer. For him it didn’t feel right to get forgiveness from her, "I should have been in your place instead. Two more scars on my body wouldn't make any difference to all the others I already have."

Yn stepped forward to search his glance, "You feel guilty, I get that. But ... you don't have to, okay? And beside, I know you and your luck. You would have been killed instead of just being injured.", a smirk playing on her lips.

Finally, Gavin looked at her again. He chuckled low by the face she made: a too overexcited grin to cheer him up. No matter how down he felt, yn was able to let him feel better. Always. Even just for a moment. He stepped forward and brought her into a bone crushing embrace, "It's so good to have you back.", he said softly into her hair.

Yn was surprised about the sudden outburst of emotions but she hugged him back, enjoying this moment to the fullest, "Yeah. And you know what? I can't wait to kick some asses with you again."

[rosemarycupcake42]

Hello hello everyone how are you?

My friends could tell this was coming a mile away-

So I got bored, I was angsty, so we have this beautiful piece of hurt comfort I believe?

Word count: 10k (otherwise known as 8k over the discord character limit)

Warnings: bad grammar, spelling errors, capitalization? Don’t know her, SADNESS, anxiety, talks of Rapunzel being a bitch to Varian

And no, we don’t like Rapunzel on this blog, not one bit

(Before we start, (Y/N) is your name, (N/N) is your nickname, and bold is memory Varian, italics are memory you

Coping Techniques

Varian 🧪 x reader

“Varian can’t calm his anxiety after getting back from getting kicked out of the castle, until he remembers something (Y/N) taught him, so he lets that memory guide him through calming himself.”

He was in pain. No, not physically, although it certainly felt like it, but emotionally. He felt like someone was tearing at his heart from the inside out, and he could do nothing to stop it. It hurt so bad, but he didn’t want to burden anyone else, so he just sat there, hugging himself, digging his nails into his arm, waiting for the pain he knew would never go away to leave him.

Deep down, under all of his blaming and hate towards Rapunzel, he thought it was his fault.

If he had just stopped messing with the rocks like his dad said…

He pulled his head up from between his knees and looked at his father, encased in honey colored amber, lifting his letter to the sky as if some other worldly being would reach down and take it from him.

His eyes tear up again, and he quickly hides his eyes behind his knees.

He doesn't want his father to see him crying, even if he is encased in amber.

He would be ashamed, And Varian can’t handle that thought.

He digs his nails further into his arms, and hisses when he feels them break skin and the blood seeps under his nails.

He vaguely remembers some calming techniques (Y/N) taught him for moments like these, and he struggles to remember one.

There was one that seemed to work well for him before, and so he decided to try that one.

He remembers your voice clearly, guiding him through the steps.

It’s okay Varian, just calm down, and take some deep breaths.

He takes a few calming breaths, following his memory of you.

Now Varian, tell me 5 things you can see in this room.

Don’t worry about what they are, just five things.

Do you want me to go first?

He subconsciously nods, just like he did back then.

He hears you giggle, and for a second, he’s already calm, before he glances at his father.

Well let me see..

I see a.. Current Varian starts counting. 1. Dust bunny in the corner over there.

2. Your spare set of goggles.

3. The book stack on the table.

4. Those vials with that green stuff in them. It's called Chromium (Y/N).. Yeah whatever nerd, let's just keep going!

5. And that plate with a half eaten ham sandwich on it.

Varian can hear the memory of you laugh again.

Wow Varian, i thought you were supposed to love ham sandwiches, you always just gobble them up!

(Y/N) stop it! I just wasn’t hungry.. Okay Grumpy pants, I was just joking with you!

Well.. what comes next? Huh? Oh yeah!

Varian slowly comes back to the real world, wishing you were with him right now to help him again.

He thinks about the other things you told him, and starts from the beginning

“F-five things i can see..” he stammers.

“One, my lamp. Two, that puddle by my table. Three, That beaker of silver. Four, my apron hanging off the hook over the door. Five, the spill of Orthovanadate that I never cleaned up.”

Good job Varian! The next one is four things you can feel around you.

Remind me again what we are doing this for again (Y/N)?

Well it's just in case i’m not there for you and you need to calm down!

You-

You are going to be there for me all the time right?

I’ll do my best darling.

P-Promise?

I can’t promise that Var, but i’ll do my absolute best!

Something really bad would have to happen for me to ever not be with you okay V?

Please don’t say that (N/N), that’s scary…

Sorry Var, but i'll do my best to be there whenever i can for you.

Thanks.

Anything for my little Alchemy boy.

Varian snaps back, flinching.

He chuckled, thinking about how ironic it was that he made you make so many promises back then, and yet the very reason he was remembering this was because of a promise.

Her promise.

His nails dig further into the already bleeding wounds, and he hisses.

He shakes his head rapidly, and begins counting things he can feel.

“O-one, My goggles on my head. Two, the wind blowing through the cracks in the house. Three, The melting snow in my boots and Four…”

He looks around, and hisses when the bruises on his wrists from the castle guards rubbing against the wall next to him.

“And four, these goddamn bruises from Rapunzel’s guards.”

(Y/N)?

Yeah Var?

Uhm..

Can I guess what comes next?

Hey that’s a good idea!

Okay.. so we did 5 things you can see..

4 things you can feel..

So I'm going to guess next is 3 things you can hear?

Haha! You got it right Var!

I knew you were smart, dummy.

HEY-

Where’s your sense of humor darling?

I- i uh-

Under the bed.

Oh really then?

WAIT NO I DIDN’T-

HAHAH!!

Okay okay let's get on with it.

Three things you can hear. It will probably help if you shut your eyes to focus on sounds.

Okay.

Varian laughs, and then takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes.

“One… Chemicals bubbling, Two.. The wind rattling the doors hinges, trying to get in.

Three, Ruddiger pacing the floor.”

At the mention of his name, the raccoon bounds over to Varian, right as he opens his eyes, just in time to see a gray and white furball come tumbling into his arms.

Varian looks down at him, and gently cradles him to his chest.

“Oh Ruddiger, What do I do?” Varian sighs, and then laughs when he thinks about you calling him a “crazy raccoon boy”.

Varian? Are you-

Are you talking to Ruddiger?!

I KNEW IT!

Knew what?

I knew that you locking yourself alone in the basement with only Ruddiger and alchemy to keep you company would drive you crazy, but not THIS crazy!

Oh but (N/N), werent you talking to Ruddiger last night?~

Who- who told you that?

Ruddiger did~

RUDDIGER I THOUGHT WE PROMISED TO KEEP THAT TO OURSELVES-

I’m kidding!

but were you really talking to Ruddiger??

You're more crazy than I am!

Whatever, my Crazy raccoon boy.

(Y/N)!-

Ruddiger looks up at Varian, who has a sad smile, and chitters.

Varian shakes his head, and continues the calming method.

Can the smart boy guess what comes next?

Two things I can taste?

BZZZRT- WRONG!

Two things you can smell, then..

One thing I can taste?

Correct!

He takes a deep breath, and sniffs the air.

“One, I can smell chemicals, specifically sulfur, and Two, I can smell the- the blood from my nail marks.” Varian can feel himself getting dizzy at the smell of the last one, but he smacks himself and tries to avoid looking at his arms.

One more Var, okay? Try to remember all these, you never know when you might need them!

Can we go outside after this?

(He can remember you gasping at his comment) Why Varian? Did YOU just suggest going OUTSIDE?

Who are you, and what did you do to Varian?

I-ITS NOTHING!

I just figured you'd like to go outside instead of stay cooped up in here with me all the time…

Aww, how sweet Varian, but if you aren't comfortable going outside with me, I'll gladly stay here with you!

He smiles at your past consideration, and concentrates.

“One thing i can taste..” His eyes fly open.

“Ham Sandwiches!”

He takes a deep breath, and it's finally done.

He silently thanks you for the method, and thanks the gods that it worked.

Now that he thinks about it, he hadn't heard from you since the blizzard..

He really hoped you were okay..

He knows the blizzard is really bad, he did come back from asking Rapunzel for help…

Rapunzel…

She refused to help..

It’s her fault!

He shakes his head, knowing (Y/N) would hate to hear him thinking like that.

Speaking of (Y/N)..

His head jerks up when he hears the door upstairs open and wind blowing heavily.

He listens closely, and he can hear you calling his name while you struggle to get the door closed.

He jumps up and runs up the stairs, practically dropping Ruddiger and face planting.

He looks up from the floor, and gasps.

There you are, decked out in heavy insulated fur coats, there was snow all over you, he could barely even see the beautiful color of your hair.

Your lips were turning blue-

He shakes his head, banging it on the floor a couple times, why was he even looking at your lips?!

You looked down, and gasped as well.

“Varian? Why are you on the floor dear?” He sighs happily when he hears your voice, and opens his mouth to answer.

“You know what, don't answer that, come on, i'll help you up.” You walk over to him, gently grabbing his arms, and he hisses when you grab right where the nail marks are, and your hands brush the bruises on his wrist.

You set him gently in front of the fireplace, and grab his arms.

“Did you cut yourself with your nails again? I told you that you need to cut them..” you sigh, going to grab the things you need to clean his wounds and help with the bruising.

“How did you get these bruises?!” you ask, gently holding his wrists.

He responds, “Well I tried to get help from Rapunzel about my dad, but she wouldn't listen, and the guards dragged me away. By the way, (Y/N), thank you for that 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method.” He weakly smiles, hoping that would calm you down, being able to see you get visibly angry the more he said about Rapunzel and her guards.

You sigh heavily, telling yourself Varian needed you more than you needed to beat up those guards. “I'm glad it helped dear.”

You bandaged his little crescent shaped wounds, and gently grabbed his wrist.

He looks at you in confusion, and you falter, before going along with your plan, and pull his wrists to your lips, and give them a gentle kiss.

You give him a closed eyes smile and respond to his surprised look, “Doesn't everyone say a kiss makes things better?”

He blushes, and pulls you into him, both of you tumbling to the floor before stopping.

You snuggle into his chest, mumbling something.

He looks down, still blushing. “What was that (N/N)?”

You back your head enough to speak cleary, and repeat yourself. “I need to beat up those gaurds later.”

He snickers, nodding, and wraps his arms tighter around you, ignoring his embarrassment, and more importantly, ignoring his pain.

You also wrap your arms around Varian, and after a couple minutes, he’s snoring.

You look at him, and run your fingers through his hair.

“Ill always be there for you Varian, Rapunzel be damned.” you nod off, both of you calmly sleeping, and dreaming of ways to save his father, his dreams much more sinister than yours, but both never once leaving each other sides.

[startanewdream]

Godfather duty

Summary: When James is surprised by Sirius and Harry coming home drunk four in the morning, he questions himself when he got too old for that.

For @theblueocean 

Part of the Jily Lives AU

Rated M for mentions of underage drinking and some swearing.

Read on AO3 with all the correct italics, or below the cut:

_________

His eyelids feel heavy, but James keeps writing. He is almost finishing the first draft of the article for Transfiguration Today; it's due Sunday and he still has five days to finish it, but James is really anxious for presenting it. It's not his first paper for that magazine, but his article will be the headline this time, and he promised himself he would send them in advance as much as he could - and he still needs to send it to Minerva for her to read and review.

It feels a lot like he is back in school doing essays, but James doesn't remember being that excited back at Hogwarts - well, not about homework anyway.

He puts the final dot and lets the quill rest, satisfied. He will proofread in the morning, maybe even rewrite altogether from a different perspective, but it's done and it's a competent article, he knows.

Human transfiguration was always a point of interest to him.

He raises, stretching up and looking at his watch. It's past four in the morning already; he really lost track of time. He remembers Lily calling him to go to bed - and then he promised her he would go in a minute, which he clearly forgot.

He suppresses a yawn as he leaves the library, thinking only of sinking on his bed when he hears a sound coming from the front porch.

All his sleepiness is gone instantly, and he turns with his wand already raised, alarmed and with his instincts screaming even though it’s been months since the war ended; someone is turning the doorknob. The spell is almost leaving his lips when the door opens wide and he sees Harry's joyful face.

Harry is not alone; Sirius is with him, their arms around each other in a brotherly gesture and for a moment James has a flashback of himself with Sirius with that same easiness, both of them beaming happily and goofy; it's a memory of twenty years ago, of a night they went around Muggle London joining a pub crawl that ended up with James' mother finding them passed out in the middle of the Potter’s living room in Godric’s Hollows.

A lot of things happened that night - a flight from the Muggle police when they tried to climb Cleopatra’s Needle, an attempt to perform a serenade to Lily only to realize they were on the wrong street and throwing eggs at Grimmauld Place number twelve - but what he remembers clearer is the smell of the alcohol on him as he woke up next morning - and then the taste of it all as he threw it all up.

And right now Sirius and Harry have that same smell of cheap whiskey mixed with beer.

James blinks, confused. As far as he thought, Harry had been back from work hours ago - James was sure Harry had been sleeping on his bed right now.

It’s evident he was wrong.

‘Hi, Prongs’, Sirius says, grinning from ear-to-ear, sounding much steadier than James would have guessed from the smell coming from them. ‘Care to let us in?’

'What's going on?', James asks, worried, stepping aside to let them enter. Both of them are stumbling, but James has the impression that Sirius is supporting Harry more than the opposite.

For some reason his question makes them look at each other.

'What I said?', Sirius asks Harry as if they are sharing some old joke. Harry lets out of one of his rare carefree giggles. 'What d'you think we are doing, dear Prongs?'

'Coming home drunk in the middle of the night?’

‘Chill out, Dad’, Harry says, winking at him.

Chill out?

‘It’s four in the morning of a Tuesday - I thought you were home already!’

‘I had to work late’, Harry answers immediately, grinning. Sirius takes him to the living room, trying to help him on the couch, but Harry slides to the floor, falling on the carpet.

‘On a bar?’

‘It’s for work’, Harry insists, eyes open as if that was obvious. 

‘It was a very important mission’, Sirius agrees. ‘Stealth. Mixing with locals. Spying on people’.

‘Oh, were there Death Eaters on that bar?’, James asks, rolling his eyes.

‘It could have been! Harry needs to know how to handle his alcohol!’

Harry giggles.

‘I handle it very well’, he says proudly, clapping his hands. ‘Tell him, Sirius’.

‘He won us money on darts. He even closed his eyes for the last shot. You would be proud!’

‘That you were letting my barely out-of-age kid bet on games?’

Sirius rolls his eyes.

‘Everything was under control, he won. Stop worrying, I was on godfather duty tonight -’

‘Between a drink and another, you mean?’

‘ - and I brought him home, right?’

‘Speaking of that’, James raises his eyebrows, now sounding openly reproachful. ‘How did you come home? Don’t tell me you drank and apparated’.

‘I would never!’

‘Or that motorbike - if you came here flying, I swear I will -’

‘Relax, Dad!’, Harry intervenes, now raising on a jump, ignoring how he tumbles in the process. ‘We got a cab. Eeeeeeverything under control’.

James watches his son go to the cabinet in the room, searching for something until he takes out a feather to doodle something on a parchment, not realizing it’s a grocery list.

‘I see the control’, he says dryly. ‘What are you doing, Harry?’

‘I am making a howler’.

‘What? What for?’

‘To howl, duh - hey!’, he turns to Sirius, his eyes sparkling madly. ‘Remus never sends letters - he only sends howlers!’

Sirius chuckles. ‘I howl too! Owoooooo!’

‘Hey, hey, you are going to wake up Lily!’

‘And?’

‘And maybe you don’t want her to see what you did to Harry - Harry, stop that, you are not sending anyone a howler’.

‘I have to tell Ginny I love her!’

‘She already knows, I am sure, you’ve told her’.

‘But I never yelled it!’

‘And she loves you more because of that, come on, give me that letter’.

‘I knew he wouldn’t let you send it’, Sirius says, his voice now smug. ‘Prongsie is old’.

James rolls his eyes.

‘Same age as you, Pads’, he remembers distantly, taking the letter from Harry, though now he realizes he didn’t need to worry. Harry’s letter is unintelligible and he doubts he could cast the spell to turn into a howler.

Harry pouts.

‘Sirius is right, you are square’.

‘What?’

‘We can never have fun’.

‘And you are so serious - more than me, haha!’, Sirius adds, now laying down lazily on the couch, his legs spread. James is about to complain that his shoes are all muddy and Sirius should take them out, but he stops.

Oh, Merlin, he is really getting a bit square, isn’t he?

‘I can be fun’, he stresses, making Sirius let out one of his bark laughs.

‘Yeah, years ago. Before you were a dad - no offence, Harry’.

Harry doesn’t seem to have heard him, which James considers a shame. Harry would surely defend him - he was a cool dad to Harry.

No, he is still a cool dad. The kind that Harry can feel at will to talk about anything, that supports Harry and that is always there for him.

Except that Harry didn’t tell him about working late tonight or going to a bar. Except Harry and Sirius didn’t ask for his company.

And if they did - he thinks of the paper he just finished and how excited he was for it.

He would have said no.

That’s not very cool of him.

‘I will take a flight!’, Harry declares, his eyes shining with this idea and for once James doesn’t feel satisfied with the mischievousness in him.

‘No drinking and flying’, James says sternly, and he decides that he will have to remain uncool for a little longer. ‘You - you stay here! Sirius - watch him. Better than you did so far, I mean’.

Sirius grimaces, evidently annoyed, but he sits next to Harry, who is now mumbling something incomprehensible, though Sirius seems to be listening to him with attention. James leaves them in the living room, locking the door behind him just in case, and goes to Lily’s office hoping she has stored a Hangover Potion. He is in no luck, of course; it’s been years since he and Lily even needed one - James believes it comes with the age knowing when to stop - and there was nothing in Harry’s latest behaviour that showed them they would need it.

For a second James almost considers waking up Lily, knowing she would make the potion in minutes, but he doesn’t want her to see the mess Harry is right now; it’s far better she hears it later than witnessing first hand. He grabs a small cauldron and the ingredients he will need and returns to the living room.

In the few minutes he was out, Harry and Sirius managed to make things strangely worse. There is snow in the room, that he sees Sirius casting from his wand; Harry is perfectly still, the snow making a sort of white hat on his head, his arms wide open and also covered in snow.

‘What -’, James tries to ask, but he just blinks at the weirdness on the scene.

‘Shhhh’, Sirius says, a finger on his lips. ‘Don’t distract him!’

‘What is Harry doing?’

‘Isn’t it obvious? Disguise training! He is a snowman!’

‘He is missing a carrot nose’, James notes, grimacing, and that makes Sirius turn his wand to Harry’s face. ‘I am joking!’

It’s too late; there is a flash of light and then there is a carrot on Harry’s face, replacing his nose.

‘Sirius!’, Harry complains, raising his hand to touch his new nose. His voice is muffled. ‘I can’t have a nose this big! How can I snog Ginny now?’

‘That’s your concern?’, James asks, half-amused, now taking out Sirius’ wand to make sure he doesn’t cast any more magic.

‘I will poke her in the eye!’, Harry says, moping, scratching the tip of his pointy nose thoughtfully.

‘I will transform you back as soon as you drink this potion, now lay still’. Harry sighs, sitting on the couch. Sirius sits next to him, patching him in the back as if he weren’t the one that turned Harry’s nose into a carrot in the first place.

‘Your nose matches her hair’, he says bracingly. ‘You will look beautiful together’.

‘I am not sure this is much comfort, Padfoot’, James notes, placing the cauldron in the fireplace and starting to throw in the ingredients. He could add something for the taste, but he believes the bitterness helps build character.

‘Well, I got him quiet, didn’t I?’, Sirius asks, pointing at Harry who is now sitting on the couch, still playing with his carrot nose.

‘You could have messed up so badly’.

‘I am not that drunk - I watched over your kid, no matter what you think of me’.

James shakes his head.

‘Letting him drink that much? He barely can stand - what if someone -’

‘The war is over, James’, Sirius tells him, sounding much grim now. ‘And like I said, I was there. Me, half-a-dozen junior Aurors and some seniors too’.

‘Unless any Death Eater threat would be a challenge to a drinking contest, I don’t think it would make much difference’.

‘Oh, Merlin’. Sirius sighs, walking to the drink cabinet and opening it to take a bottle of firewhiskey. ‘Here, drink this’.

‘What?’

‘You are sober, I hate talking to sober people when I am pissed. Sober people are boring’.

‘I am not boring’, James complains, pushing away the bottle that Sirius extends in his direction. ‘And I am past the age of being forced to drink to look cool’.

‘Then drink because it’s nice!’, Sirius says forcefully now. ‘Drink because you are alive! Drink because you are happy! Drink because for the first time in his life your son is properly pissed!’

‘That’s not a reason -’

‘That’s enough reason! He is eighteen! What age were we when we first got pissed?’

‘Seventeen’. Sirius raises his eyebrows, waiting for him, and James flushes, turning his attention to the cauldron. The potion is almost over. ‘Fine, fifteen - but it didn’t count, we weren’t thinking straight then’.

‘Yeah. Our first transformation’, Sirius remembers, but there is something heavy on his voice now.

‘What is the problem, Padfoot?’

‘Nothing’. 

That makes James stop. He takes the cauldron out of the fire, to let the potion cool down, and turns to Sirius, watching him. Sirius’ eyes are watery as he always gets when he drinks, but he sustains James’ look for a surprisingly full two minutes before he sighs.

‘Fine, you are the problem’.

‘Me? You take my son out for a drink without telling me, return home four in the morning and I am the problem?’

‘Look at what you are saying! He is of age! He was with his friends - and his very trustable godfather! He was having fun for once in his life, instead of living that responsible life you want for him’.

‘Responsible?’, James repeats, dumbfounded. Nobody had ever accused him of wanting to do the responsible thing. ‘I am just being his father’.

‘Well, maybe Harry doesn’t need his father anymore’.

There is a long pause after that. James blinks, once, twice, very slowly, trying to understand what Sirius means by that, and it’s only when he reaches for the drink cabinet to get a glass for the potion, that Sirius moves.

‘Shit - I didn’t mean like that - sorry, James, it’s not -’

‘No, I get it’, James says, his voice forcefully steady. ‘Harry wants the cool father figure that allows him everything - and, well, Sirius “what’s life without a little risk” Black is perfect for that’.

‘Don’t be absurd - that kid worships the ground you walk upon -’

‘And yet he was with you, not me. I get it. I am a father, not a friend’. He offers Sirius a full glass. ‘Drink this, you’ll feel better tomorrow’.

‘No, I deserve the hangover tomorrow, but that’s beside the point. It’s my fault’.

‘I don’t think you forced Harry to drink’, James notes dryly, sitting next to Harry to help him drink the potion. Harry seems to be in another world now, but he obliges to James’ help without questioning.

‘No, that was all on him - I mean it, he’d make you proud, he won a drinking contest with Thompson and he is twice Harry’s size - er, not helping, sorry’. Sirius sits on the other side of Harry. ‘He was going to tell you we’d be out for a drink. And I didn't let him'.

'Why? Why would you -'

'Because I thought you would overreact. Worry too much about him. Don't let him have any fun'.

'I would not -'

'And because I thought he'd ask you to come’.

James blinks. Between them, Harry lays his head on James' shoulder, now watching Sirius with mild curiosity.

‘I would ask’, he agrees, a note of pride in his voice. 

'Am I that bad company?', James asks in a low voice. Sirius shakes his head.

'Would you come with us?', he challenges. James keeps his gaze for a few seconds, but just like Sirius didn't lie for him before, he wouldn't dare speak anything but the truth.

'No, I had things to do today'.

'That article', Sirius scoffs. 'You don't talk about anything else'.

James frowns.

'It's really important - a chance of -'

'Getting yourself a name, I know, I know. But see -', his grey eyes are burning over James now, somewhat desperate. 'The Prongs I know would never care for reputation'.

'Sirius…'

'The Prongs I know would be honest with me'.

'I am - what are you -'

'I heard you and Kingsley, ok?', he blows off. 'Registering as an animagus? After all this time?'

There is another silence, broken only by the crackling fire.

'I was going to tell you', James says finally. 'I didn't think it was important - you don't have to register too -'

'That's not the point - you are breaking our trust -'

'It's just an entry on a list. It doesn’t change anything, I will keep our full moon nights -'

'When Remus has time, you mean?', he asks, sounding bitter now. 'He missed the last two, he'd rather stay home -'

'He has a kid now -'

'So do you and… you guys are getting old and responsible and too serious for me'.

'Nobody is more serious than you', James says, smiling at him, but Sirius just rolls his eyes and grabs the bottle of firewhiskey on the coffee table, taking a sip.

James extends his hand. Sirius raises one eyebrow, in disbelief, and his expression only relaxes a little when James takes a long sip of the firewhiskey. The drink burns his throat, infusing him with that weird dose of courage and a will to do something, but James just sighs.

'You are no less serious because of it', Sirius notes.

'I got serious - the war, the first one and then the second one and everything - and I think I forgot how to relax - but that doesn't mean… you are my brother, Sirius'.

'The annoying prettier baby brother?'

'You are older', James says, grinning, and after a second of hesitation, Sirius smiles too. 'You can invite me - I mean, we can do things together. Even if it sounds - or is - stupid'.

'Things together like… registering our animagus form?'

James rests against the couch, and Harry moves his head to rest more comfortably on his shoulders; James thinks he will sleep soon.

'You don't need to do it too - Kingsley already knows about you and he is the bloody Minister of Magic, isn't he? This was not about doing the responsible thing'.

'Then why -'

'I want the credit'. James presses his lips, before admitting something he didn't even share with Lily yet. 'I talked to Minerva - if I get back to my studies, get enough recommendation to be approved by the board, I could get her position'.

Sirius blinks, startled.

'Her position? You mean -'

'Transfiguration professor, yeah'.

He looks away now, feeling somewhat embarrassed. It had never really been an ambition - teaching was much more something Remus had always wanted to do than him; James had been glad to focus on his studies and develop new theories of transfiguration until then. 

But ever since Minerva had vented that possibility to him a few weeks after the end of the war, when they were repairing one of the halls destroyed in the battle, that thought had been on his mind. He wasn't in a rush, but the idea of getting back to Hogwarts, this time as a professor, watching other students learn from him as much as he had learned from Minerva McGonagall… he couldn't deny that idea had taken root in his mind.

James always teased her that he had been her favourite student, but the fact was that she was his favourite professor and there was some part of him that wanted to impress her and prove himself good enough to replace her someday.

He waits for Sirius' response, but there is only a silence that doesn't seem good.

'I know it's huge', James mumbles. 'There are others far more capacitated than me, I am starting now to -'

'Shut your mouth, Prongs', interrupts Sirius, and James turns to him. There is a grin on his face. 'Being humble never suited you'.

James laughs softly.

'I wasn’t trying to', he assures him.

'I thought - I thought you had wanted to do the right thing. You know, registering just because you wanted to follow the law, as if… as if you were ashamed of what we did illegally -'

'Now it's you who needs to shut up, Padfoot'. He takes another sip of the firewhiskey. ‘Animagus at age of fifteen? I’m damn proud of it. Also, that’s the only thing that I have done that’s cooler than half the stuff Harry got into’.

‘Yeah, I suppose it’s hard when your son is a bloody hero’.

Harry chooses that moment to start snoring loudly, which sends James and Sirius into a fit of laughter. James raises, careful to let Harry sleep on the couch, and Harry doesn’t look remotely close to waking up.

‘I am glad you took him out for a drink’, James says, taking out Harry’s glasses. ‘I was just jealous - it should have been me’.

‘I am sure there will be another occasion’, Sirius says dismissively. ‘He will probably forget every embarrassing thing he did, you know how that works’.

‘Oh, he embarrassed himself?’, James asks, a glint of fun on his eyes. Sirius smirks.

‘That happy giggling Harry you saw? Just the last stage. He was all cocky at first - that’s how we got into that darts bet’.

‘Harry? My son? Cocky?’

‘Oh, yeah, he reminded me a lot of you’, Sirius’ smirk increases. ‘He was strutting and all’.

‘Tell me you took pictures of it’.

‘I would never’, Sirius declares, though James isn’t sure he believes him this time. ‘And then he got very… honest’.

‘That doesn’t sound good for that stealth mission’.

Sirius shakes his head.

‘If he was spilling out Auror secrets I would be happier - no, instead I had to hear about the time he and Ginny -’

‘Nope, nope, I don’t want to know’.

‘Well, me neither, I won’t ever use your Invisibility Cloak again, you can be sure. But anyway - that’s why he got here so drunk. I decided vodka was the only way to shut him up properly’.

Sirius looks so satisfied with himself and his choices, that James knows what he has to do.

‘It’s late’, he says pleasantly. ‘Crash here tonight’.

‘Oh, I think I will - I am not fit to apparate’.

‘Let’s go upstairs then’.

‘And Harry?’

‘Oh, look at him. He is sleeping so well, he can stay here tonight’.

‘If you are sure’.

‘Yeah, yeah, everything will be fine’.

_________

James has slept barely four hours when he wakes up with Lily’s cry. He puts on his robe lazily, waiting a few minutes to go downstairs; when he passes Sirius’ room, the door is already opened.

Good.

He finds them all together in the toilet next to the kitchen, and by the sounds coming out of there, his Hangover Potion wasn’t very efficient.

‘We were working late, Lily’, Sirius is saying, sounding properly desperate. ‘And we went out for a drink -’

‘It was a Tuesday night! He has to work in one hour!’

‘So do I - but you see, I’m his boss, so everything is fine! Also, I don’t think any of the boys will show up -’

‘Perfect’, Lily interrupts him, her eyes sending daggers in Sirius’ direction. ‘Then you can take care of him’. She sees James. ‘Did you know about this?’

‘Me? I was working late on my text, you know’, he answers, yawning and looking very innocent.

Sirius waits until Lily is out for the kitchen to turn to James, his eyes narrowed.

‘You knew she would be mad. That’s why you told me to stick around’.

‘If I knew how my dear wife would react to knowing you got our son pissed? How could I?’

Sirius grimaces as there is another retching sound coming from the bathroom.

‘Oh, you better go there and don’t forget to keep Harry hydrated’.

‘Watch it’, Sirius says, but he goes into the bathroom anyway. ‘I won’t ever show you the pictures’.

James shrugs, undisturbed.

‘That’s fine. Next time Harry gets drunk, I will be there’.

‘I won’t ever ever ever drink again’, Harry moans, hugging the toilet seat now, his face sweaty.

‘Oh, kid, we’ve all been there’, Sirius sighs, flushing down the toilet and helping Harry raise.

James grins to himself, glad that Sirius is doing his godfather duty once again, and leaves them alone.

[chloelucia13]

Chapter 15: The Mall Rats and the Case of the Missing Lifeguard

Pairing: none for the moment (currently Jonathan Byers x (kinda) Platonic!Henderson!reader)

Prompt:  You always thought Hawkins was the most boring town of all, stuck in a vacuum void of excitement and entertainment. Well, it seems that way until the world decided to flip upside down, literally.

Chapter Summary: You felt... different. Whatever happened that night in that warehouse had changed you, but you feared telling anyone else about what had occurred. Or maybe... Maybe you couldn't.

Warnings: some fluff, some angst, mostly just going in depth with plot, language, kinda gory, discussions of not having control over your body (flashbacks in italics, separate perspective in bold)

Word Count: 3746

A/N: The series continues! The chapters for season three are gonna get pretty wild, so I hope everyone’s excited to see it! As always, my requests, inbox, and tag lists are open! 

Tags: @just-my-fandom​, @nightbu-g​

“Get the fuck up! We gotta go!” 

A harsh cough rattled your lungs as you awoke, blinking quickly to try and clear your vision and orient yourself. “Wh-” you grumbled, scrambling to get on your feet.

A hand grabbed your arm, pulling you to your feet. Your mind quickly caught up with your body and you began to sprint. Behind you, a snarl echoed through the empty warehouse, spurring you further forward and out of the building. “Get in the car!” Billy demanded, and you followed his instructions with no second thought. 

As soon as you both had sat down, Billy sped out of the lot and down the long stretch of road. “What the fuck was that?” he shouted, his voice strong despite the clear wooziness that plagued both of you.

It was familiar, that you knew. That presence, it was something that had left a large imprint on you. You thought it was gone. You thought you didn’t have to suffer any longer.

But whatever that thing was, it was more than you had ever seen. It was new, worse than anything you had ever experienced. It scared the shit out of you.

So you only half-lied when you responded, “I don’t know.”

Within moments, Billy screeched to a halt in front of a phone booth. You both stumbled out of the car and tucked yourselves away in the glass box, praying that it would be enough to shelter you from whatever that being was, if only for a few seconds. As you leaned against the wall to try and get a full breath of air int your lungs, Billy held the handset to his ear and dialed 911. From where you stood, you could hear a tinny female voice come through the speaker.

The single light above your head began to flicker, and any hope that you had in your mind that this was something completely foreign flew out the window. 

You and Billy exchanged a glance as the light died out, and he hung the handset up before hesitantly pulling the phone box’s door open and stepping out. You followed behind him, footsteps sounding in the distance as you stared out at the open road where the car’s headlights illuminated a path. A thick fog had settled over the air, ashen particles intermingling with the fog and creating an all-too-familiar dread in the pit of your stomach.

As the two of you walked forward, the silhouette of a crowd could be seen through the haze, their footsteps growing closer and closer to you.

“What do you want?” Billy huffed, standing his ground in the middle of the road. You stood beside him, but your fear was evident. “Hey! I said, what do you want!”

“Billy-” you attempted to stop him as a clash of thunder and flash of lightning streaked the red night sky.

“I said, what do you want!”

The crowd froze, and two individuals stepped forward, their features materializing through the fog.

Features you knew as well as your own. Features that were your own.

***

When you finally came to, you were already at the pool. You assumed you had just zoned out this morning, too wrapped up in whatever happened last night to realize what you were even doing.

But that was the thing. You couldn’t remember what happened last night. Sure, you remembered the crash, and that thing, those people. But that was it. Everything else was blank. 

You felt different. Like your skin was on fire and your insides were frozen solid. Every light was too bright, every brush of wind felt like you were being whipped, and every sound was far too loud. And you were so thirsty.

These new feelings made working at a pool more miserable than it already was. You tried your hardest to push through it, ignore the pain and just get through the day, but it proved to be much harder than you were anticipating. In order to live through the day without feeling like absolute shit, you had swapped shifts with Heather, allowing you to sit in the air-conditioned office and work at the entrance to the pool.

The day had gone smoothly for the most part, except for the lingering feeling of wrongness that had settled deep into your bones. It was that same feeling that had plagued you when you were stuck in the upside down, a sense fo familiarity in a completely unfamiliar place. But, at the same time, it was like nothing you had ever experienced, like your entire being was just a thought shoved in the brain of a body you didn’t own. 

You were about to get up and grab another bottle of water from the fridge when a figure appeared at the front counter. “How many?” you hummed, pulling your sunglasses over your eyes to block out the sunlight.

“Are you okay?” the person responded, and your shoulders slouched at the familiar voice. 

“Hey Steve. Sorry, I didn’t realize it was you.”

he scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. “Just a ‘hey, Steve?’ You didn’t call me last night! I drove over here and you weren’t here but your car was! And now you look like you’re dying and you didn’t even recognize me!” he shouted.

You winced at the volume of his voice, your head pounding. “Sorry, sorry. My car broke last night and I had to get a ride from Billy.”

Steve vividly stiffened. “He didn’t... Do anything, right?”

“No! God no! He- he just dropped me off and I fell asleep and forgot to call you. that’s all.”

“That’s all that happened last night?”

“I said, what do you want?” Billy’s voice roared, nearly matching the intensity of the thunder clapping in the sky.

You stood stock still as the mirror image of you stepped closer and closer until they were toe to toe with you. 

Your clone and Billy’s clone spoke simultaneously, a singular bellowing voice echoing out, “To build. I want you to build.”

“To build what?” you snapped, fingers curling into fists.

“What you see.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion and you stepped back. 

“I don’t understand,” Billy huffed. With a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning, the figures disappeared, leaving you and Billy alone on the deserted street. 

“Billy, we need to go-”

“I don’t understand!” he snarled, spinning in circles and taking in the dramatic change of atmosphere that happened in a split second. “What do you mean? I don’t understand!”

A startled gasp fell from your lips as you snapped out of your memories, eyes wide as you fixed your gaze back on Steve. 

“What the hell, Y/N? Are you sure you’re okay?” Steve urged, reaching forward to touch you.

You recoiled, stumbling out of your chair and onto your feet. “I’m fine,” you hissed, winding your jaw tight. 

“Y/N, you’re clearly not-”

“Steve!”

He jumped at the tone of your voice.

“I’m fine. Just drop it. I need to work. I’ll call you tonight.”

He mirrored your clenched jaw, but he nodded and walked away without another word.

You collapsed to your knees with a shuddering sigh. You weren’t okay, and you wanted to tell Steve. You wanted to beg for help, for him to take you to a hospital or something. But there was this weird switch in your mind, a defense mechanism of sorts, that turned you into a completely different person. It was like you were possessed.

Your reflection on your current state was cut short, though, when a guttural yell echoed from the showers. You sprung to your feet and rushed over to the showers, only to run into Heather who had heard the same thing. You two shared a look before hurrying over to the only running shower. 

However, as soon as Billy’s crumpled form came into view, your body began to move on that same autopilot that it did just moments ago, your mind and being possessed by an entity that you couldn’t hold back. Silently, you stood behind Heather as she called out Billy’s name, hoping to snap him out of his stupor. After a few tries, she was successful in catching his attention.

“Billy, are you hurt?” she asked, lowering to her knees in front of him.

“What?” he gasped, brow furrowed.

“I said, are you hurt?” She let out a huff when he continued to stare. “What’s going on? I heard screaming. Should I call an ambulance?” She glanced back at you, confusion further marring her features when she noticed the rigid-but-dazed state that you were in.

You watched as Billy’s eyes lifted up to yours, and then everything went black.

***

The bumpy road made you dizzy as you stared at the road ahead. The car was completely silent, except for the revving engine and the thunder, of which you couldn’t decipher if it was coming from outside or if it was inside your head.

The car rolled into the familiar gravel lot that sat outside the abandoned building. You and Billy robotically exited the car and as Billy opened the trunk, you began to slowly descend down the metal stairs that fed into the building’s basement. Once you were at the bottom, you sat on the concrete floor and stared into the deep black abyss that laid just feet from where you were.

Billy’s footsteps echoed throughout the building as he walked down the stairs, his figure and the limp body he was carrying coming into view. As he walked past you, nausea settled in the pit of your stomach and you were positive that you were going to vomit, but you couldn’t even move.

He gently laid Heather’s now-alert body on the cold concrete between you and the staring darkness. Her eyes locked with yours, silently begging for mercy, and your eyes began to well with tears along with hers. Billy whispered lowly in her ear before rising to his feet and standing next to you, both of you disturbingly still as a growl echoed through the humid air.

From the darkness emerged a creature created from limbs and blood and gore, its monstrous body crawling towards the sacrifice you had involuntarily placed before it.

Beside you, though, Billy was able to tear his eyes away from the sight, anger radiating off of him. You, however, couldn’t force your body to look away.

***

When Max said that Billy may be doing something weird, Eleven didn’t expect this. 

Through the empty expanse of black, a car sat feet away from her. BIlly’s car. The headlights glowed bright into the dark, illuminating the large shatter on the windshield as she walked over to the driver’s side and peered inside.

Soft whimpers reverberated through the empty air as she rounded the back of the car, glancing into the opened trunk before looking up and seeing Billy’s figure knelt on the ground.

“I found him,” El announced.

“What’s he doing?” Max inquired.

“I don’t know. He’s... on the floor... talking to someone.”

Billy’s voice mingled with the harsh whimpers from a disembodied voice as Eleven walked closer, anxiety gnawing at her lungs as she struggled to gasp in a breath.

As she walked, she nearly stumbled over another figure that sat on the floor, a few feet away from Billy. 

“Y/N,” Eleven breathed.

“Y/N?” Max nearly shouted, and Eleven imagined that her eyebrows had shot up to her hairline. “What is he doing to her?”

“Nothing, she’s just... sitting there.” Eleven knelt in front of you, examining your face. “She’s crying.”

Just as she was about to reach out and touch you, Billy rose to his feet, startling her attention back to him.

And he looked at her. He saw her.

With his eyes locked on hers, her heartbeat jumped to her throat. There was something off lurking behind his eyes, something disturbed. But as soon as she saw him, he was gone, evaporating into nothingness.

She gasped in terror and ripped the blindfold from her eyes, light flooding her vision as blood dripped from her nose.

“What is it? What happened?” Max urged, reaching forward and touching Eleven’s arm in an attempt to ground her back into reality.

***

By the time that you had left the Hargrove/Mayfield residence, exhaustion had settled deep into your bones. Silently, you trudged along the broken road that winded from Billy’s house to yours and reflected on everything that had taken place in the last eight hours. 

You felt... disgusting. Monstrous.

You couldn’t remember much of it, but what you do remember made you ponder who you really were. Were you actually you? Did you truly do those heinous things? Or were you just a pawn, a puppet forced to orchestrate these terrible acts to appease these beings?

You were so deeply entrenched in your own thoughts that you didn’t even notice the pair of girls walked towards you.

“Y/N?” Max voiced, startling you.

“Max! El! Hey! What are you guys doing over here?” you hummed, smacking a smile onto your face and acting like nothing was wrong.

The two girls exchanged a look. “We were, uh, walking to my house. What are you doing?”

You nodded, awkwardly crossing your arms over your chest. “Oh, I was just taking a walk. Needed to stretch my legs.”

“Right.”

“Right.” You pursed your lips and looked over to El who was staring at you with a strange look. “Well I should probably get going. It looks like it’s gonna start raining soon. You guys stay safe, okay?”

They both nodded, but their demeanors were unusual. They were usually so comfortable around you, and it made you worry that you had done something to them that you couldn’t remember. 

“Bye, Y/N,” El spoke finally, nodding at you before Max grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away.

***

With adrenaline coursing through their veins from what they found hidden under the bathroom sink, the two girls rushed to the heart of town to dig further.

As they exited the pool house, they noticed Jonathan and Nancy leaving the Hawkins Post. They ran over to the other pair, calling their names. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Nancy asked the girls, her brows furrowed in confusion from their panicked states.

“Have either of you talked to Y/N recently?” Max inquired, leading the group under a large awning attached to one of the shops on the block to escape from the rain.

Nancy and Jonathan both shook their head. 

“Why? Is something wrong?” Jonathan spoke up.

“She didn’t show up to work today. Neither did Heather or Billy,” max explained.

“She probably didn’t feel good and she stayed home,” Nancy tried to reason, giving the girls a reassuring smile. “Besides, I doubt Billy and heather skipping work has anything to do with Y/N.”

Eleven vehemently shook her head. “She was with Billy,” she argued, anxiety evident in her voice.

That made Jonathan and Nancy exchange a look between each other before looking back at the girls. “What do you mean?” Nancy urged.

“Last night, we were messing with El’s powers and we decided to spy on Billy. We thought it was gonna be a bad idea, but we weren’t expecting...” Max trailed off, searching for the words. “El saw Y/N with Billy. She was sitting behind him, and she was crying, and he was talking to someone.”

“And this morning,” El broke in. “She was walking from Billy’s house.”

Max nodded. “We looked around and we found a whole bunch of lifeguard stuff hidden under the sink. We don’t know if it’s Y/N’s or someone else’s but-”

“It was bloody.”

The same panic that the girls felt began to invade Nancy and Jonathan’s systems, their hearts palpitating and their breathing becoming ragged. “Oh my god,” Nancy breathed out finally.

“Maybe it’s nothing,” Jonathan spoke, shaking his head. “Maybe we’re just reading into it too much. I’ll call her tonight and check in on her. It’ll be okay.”

The girls nodded, but that anxiety still lingered in the air. They hadn’t even mentioned what El had seen in the showers at the pool, but they thought that it wasn’t dire at the moment.

“Do you guys need a ride home?” Nancy asked, breaking the silence.

“No, we still need to do something,” Max stated vaguely before the two girls pulled their hoods over their heads and ran through the rain over to their bikes.

***

The rain was pouring outside as you tucked your hair behind your ear, a blank look on your face. In the dining room, Heather’s parents chatted idly with Billy while you and Heather meandered dazedly around the kitchen.

Some sort of bell or signal appeared to go off in your mind, as you slapped a smile on your face and made your way into the dining room, sitting in the chair besides Billy and joined in on the senseless chatter.

After a few moments, the chat fell silent, and you and Billy lifted your gaze to see Max and Eleven standing in the doorway of the dining room. You noticed both girls were taken aback by your presence, reeling for a moment.

“Max,” Billy stated plainly.

“We didn’t mean to... Barge in,” Max began to explain, finally finding her voice. “We tried to knock but maybe you didn’t hear us over the storm.”

“I’m sorry, but who is this dripping all over my living room right now?” Heather’s father spoke up, shifting to look at the two girls.

You and Billy both chuckled, exchanging a glance before you subtly gestured for him to introduce them. “I’m sorry,” Billy hummed. Janet, Tom, this... Is my sister, Maxine.”

“And her friend, El,” you added, following Billy as he stood up and walked over to the two girls.

“What on earth are you doing here?” he grumbled. “Is something wrong?”

“We just wanted to make sure everything is okay,” Max explained, quickly glancing over at you before returning her gaze to Billy.

“Okay? Why wouldn’t it be okay?” you spoke, looking between the two girls.

Max looked at you incredulously, as if that was a rhetorical question, before Eleven spoke up: “Where is she?”

“I’m sorry, where is who?” Billy hummed, a playful tone in his voice.

“Well, they’re a little burnt, I’m sorry-” Heather rambled as she brought a tray of cookies into the dining room, pausing when she saw the small group gathered between the living room and the dining room.

“Heather! This is my sister, Maxine! And I’m sorry, I did not quite catch your name...”

“El,” El stated plainly, fire in her eyes.

“El.”

“Now, what is it you were saying, El? You were looking for somebody?” you said sweetly, giving her a smile.

El’s brows furrowed confusedly as she looked over at Heather, stutters falling from her lips. I-I saw- I saw you-” El tried to formulate.

“Your manager,” Max cut in. “At the pool. He said you guys didn’t come into work today, so we got worried.”

“Heather wasn’t feeling so hot today, so we all thought we’d take the day off to nurse her back to health,” Billy explained, smiling at you and Heather. “But you’re feeling just fine right now, aren't you, Heather?”

“I’m feeling so much better,” Heather agreed, shaking her head emphatically. As Billy turned back to the girls, Heather offered the two girls a cookie. “They’re fresh out of the oven.”

“No, no, we should get going,” Max voiced, gripping onto El’s sleeve and giving you one last worried look. “Let’s go.”

“Billy, do you mind walking them out?” you asked, smiling at the two girls.

“Of course,” Billy nodded, walking behind the two girls as you made your way back to the table.

“Well, they’re quite lovely,” Janet noted. “So nice of them to check on you two, even if they dragged some mud in doing so.”

“They truly are the sweetest,” you agreed. “Sorry about all of that, though.”

As Heather’s mother began to go off on a tangent, a sharp pain began to course through your skull. Suddenly, visions of El sealing the gate closed flashed before your eyes, her screams piercing your ears. You gripped onto the table and watched black veins creep up your arms between flashes of the burning orange gate slowly web closed. It left as soon as it came though, though the veins still lingered on your skin and a heavy fog clouded your mind, inhibiting your thoughts.

The creature took over your mind, taking advantage of the fog to make you act as if nothing was wrong. You watched Billy walk into the room and sit beside you, him seemingly in that same daze.

“Is everything alright?” Heather questioned, brows knitted in concern.

“Yes,” Billy stated simply, and you took note of the black veins that snaked in his eyes when he glanced at you. “Everything’s fine.”

“Your sister really didn’t want to stay?” Janet asked, mirroring her daughter’s concern.

“No, she’s just not... you know, really a people person.”

“Well, I just don't like the idea of them out there in the storm like that.”

“Oh, they’ll be fine,” Tom huffed, clearly wanting to end the conversation.

Janet nodded hesitantly and reached for her wine, only for her hand to graze the glass and knock it over. “Oh!” she exclaimed, grabbing a cloth napkin and beginning to dab up the spilled liquid.

“I told you to slow down on that wine, Janet,” Tom grumbled, shoving another forkful of food into his mouth.

“Yes, darling.”

“Are you okay, mommy?” Heather asked, her brows furrowed once more.

“Yes, I’m- I’m just... Feeling a little lightheaded is all.”

As Tom made another comment about the wine, you and Heather and Billy exchanged a look, all of the emotion gone from your faces. Out of your peripheral, you watched as Heather’s mother rose from her seat, only for her to collapse to the ground.

Heather’s father shot to his feet to help his wife, all the while you three gripped your weapons in your hands. You handed Billy a bottle of chloroform and as he wet his cloth napkin with it, Heather carried her wine bottle into the living room. Silently, you both followed behind her and watched as she swung the bottle into her father’s skull. Billy handed her the napkin a moment later, and Heather quickly finished off the remaining half of her parents.

[cl-01-kestis]

A visit to the Senate

Dismay - Grand Admiral Thrawn x Rebel!Reader | Part 6

Summary: You’re sent on a mission along side Omani and Mon Mothma to attend the Naboo Senate, but things don’t go exactly as planned.

Warnings: sexual themes, angst

(Paragraphs in italics mean that the reader is in the past, it’s also the sexual part, so you’ll know when to stop scrolling if you don’t want to read it).

Chiss have fangs dont @ me ✋😌

You had to admit, this was the worst bed you’d ever slept in. You couldn’t get comfortable, the springs poked out, and you would rather much sleep on the floor if the ship’s captain wasn’t so against it.

You had this room by yourself, Omani was in the room beside yours with her friends and you could hear their chatting through the walls. Their chatter didn’t bug you normally, but you were trying to get to sleep. You were exhausted, mostly because this journey took a few days and you were now in the middle of it, but with hardly any sleep.

The pillow done you justice in blocking out the noise of chatter in the room beside you and only then did your body finally allow you to rest. You didn’t care about how much sleep you got, just as long as you got any sleep at all.

Your mind didn’t do you any justice as you slept, bringing back long forgotten about memories that made you toss and turn in your sleep, letting out small noises and squeaks as your mind flashed you different images of your past at the Empire.

Tapping the code into Thrawn’s chambers, you looked from side to side and made sure that the stormtrooper at the door wasn’t looking or being nosy. You were dressed in full black, your commander uniform all crinkled due to a messy interrogation and a blow to the face that caused your eye brow to split open. You’d just returned from the medbay after recieving stitches, the blood all cleaned up but the wound was bruised and still raw. You held an ice pack to your brow as you entered Thrawn’s chambers and made sure the door closed behind you.

Your immediate thought was to see where he was, you expected to see him in his chair as you turned around but he wasn’t there. The door to his training room was open and you smiled to yourself, tip toeing your way to the doors arch and leaning your body on it as your eyes landed on Thrawn who was wearing a white vest and black joggers. He wrestled a sentry droid with his bare hands, no weapons required. His face was full of determination, red eyes ablaze as he eventually took down the droid who was banging its fists on the floor to try and lift itself up.

Thrawn looked up and spotted you standing at the door with a smile on your face. He yelled out the word ‘rukh’ and the droid powered down in seconds, it’s red eyes fading into a dull lifeless grey. You took the ice pack of your eyebrow when Thrawn stood up from the droid and walked towards you. Without a word exchanged, he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you softly.

“Who did this?” He asked, eyes trailing to the slit in your brow which was coated with two small medical stables and an invisible layer of bacta spray. You smiled at his concern and cupped his cheek.

“Bad day at interrogation... someone got the better of me, but I’m fine” You said with a calm exterior, leaning on your toes and planting another kiss on Thrawn’s lips which caused him to make a small noise of disapproval.

“Should send them to execution, whoever it was” Thrawn frowned, stroking your temple with one of his hands and grazing the surface of the staples in your brow. You winced slightly at the contact but Thrawn was quick to apologise and keep his hand away from your face.

“They’re an important vessel, according to Vader, so I can’t exactly go against his word” You defended as Thrawn let you go to walk out of his training room and go to his refresher. You followed behind, placing the ice pack near your eye once more and cursing out in Cheunh. Thrawn grinned at your words and opened the door to his refresher, stepping inside before turning around and leaning out as you approached.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Thrawn teased, his large hands holding onto the arch of the door and supporting his weight as he leaned his body forward. You stuck your middle finger up at his words which made him let out a sharp laugh.

“I’m sure that’s no way to treat a Vice Admiral, Commander” Thrawn smirked as you approached him, your free hand cupping his cheek and trailing his jaw with your thumb. You tilted your head to the side slightly as your fingers grazed the skin on his neck, peeking under the material of his vest to see purple marks over his skin. You smiled at the sight of it, pulling the vest down slightly to get a better look at it which made the Chiss man stretch his neck out for you to get a better look.

“You look good with my marks on your skin” You commented on a sultry tone, letting go of his vest and turning around to walk towards his bedroom. But before you even got the chance to take the first step, Thrawn grabbed your wrist and spun you around, dragging you into the refresher with him and closing the door so he could pin you up against it. You gasped at his actions, unable to fight back the shit eating grin on your face as Thrawn’s knee placed itself between your legs.

“You’ll look better with mine” The Chiss growled before ripping open your uniform top effortlessly and burying his head into your neck. You cursed at Thrawn, raking your nails down his shoulder blades as his teeth sunk into your skin, his small fangs poking into your skin and making you hiss out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. As if you hadn’t bled enough today, Thrawn sucked and nibbled on your skin where his sharp K9’s had jabbed, his tongue slowly lapping up whatever blood he caused to come out.

“Do you always have to bite that hard?” You whined, clutching his vest and trying not to make too much noise in case anyone outside heard.

“Yes, it’s the best way to make you remember who you belong to” Thrawn replied, his whole demeanour was dominant and empowering as he held you still against the refresher door. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head with one of his hands whereas the other touched the bare skin of your chest and stomach, past the ripped Commander top and underneath your bra which made your breath suddenly catch in your throat.

“Thrawn” You moan, struggling against his hand that he’d your wrists as he pressed his fingers into your skin slowly but surely. You sighed at the feeling, closing your eyes for a brief moment as Thrawn kissed your collarbones, nipping the skin with his front teeth very softly.

“Care to shower with me?” Thrawn asked with a smile, leaning back up from your chest and letting go of your wrists. You blushed at his suggestion and nodded.

“How could I say no to that?” You chuckled.

-

Your eyes slowly opened to the familiar pitch black of your room on the ship. Lifting your head, you looked up to see Omani shaking your leg softly as she sat on your bed with a concerned expression.

“You were crying in your sleep” She whispered, her voice full of distress and panic as though she witnessed something traumatic.

You sat up abruptly, hands raising to your eyes and feeling nothing but wet tears staining your cheeks. You wiped them off with urgency, apologising to Omani who watched you in silence as you swallowed your emotions and sucked in a breath.

“Bad dream” You excused your tears, sniffing lightly and raising your legs out of the bed to hand them off the edge. You combed your hair with your hands, feeling your body tremble as your eyes stung with unpleasantly.

“You don’t cry whenever you have bad dreams” Omani shuffled over beside you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, bringing you close to her as you found it difficult to breathe. You stayed silent at her comment and hung your head low, remembering the visions you saw in your dream and trying to shake them off due to how upset they were making you.

“I’d rather not talk about it” You breathed out, avoiding Omani’s confused stare which soon turned into a sad and frustrated one. You understood she was an adult now, at least an adult in Chiss culture, but you didn’t want to tell her about what you saw. Those memories were for you to deal with, memories you shared with literally no one. Regardless that Thrawn’s her father, you’re sure she wouldn’t want to know what you were dreaming about anyway.

“Well we’ve almost arrived on Naboo so you woke up at the right time” Your daughter pushed aside the tension you created and stood up from your bed, her arm unwrapping itself quickly from you and returning to her side as she approached the door.

“Be careful though, there might be some Imperials here today” That was Omani’s way of saying ‘be careful, dad might be here’. You smiled at her and nodded your head, watching her turn around and leave your room so you could get ready for the mission ahead of you.

Turning the lights on to your room, you were blinded immediately and forced to cover your eyes with your hand. Your eyes pounded in your head and you took a few seconds to adjust to the light in your room. As soon as you were sure you could see properly, your eyes landed on the suitcase you brought with you. You lay it out on the floor and opened it up, taking out a beautiful Senator dress you owned and wore only a few times. Omani mistook the dress for a wedding dress when she was a child and thought for a moment you were getting married, she started crying and making a fuss and you felt terrible.

You took out the shoes that went with the dress as well as a gold necklace, you had Omani do your makeup and hair for the event. She was more excited about it than you were, but she was mostly excited to see you take the stage and speak to other Senators. She had never been to one of your conferences before so this was a real treat for her, regardless if the senate was Imperial or not.

Omani fit herself in a navy dress that clung to her waist but was poofy at the skirt. She wore normal blue flats on her feet considering she hated heels, and for jewellery she wore diamond studs. She tied her heir up in a tight, neat hun and done her makeup very lightly.

Before you left the ship though, Omani gave you your locket from Thrawn back for you to wear at the senate. You suggested for her to wear it but she saw it fit that you would be the one to have it around your neck.

The rest of the rebels who were supporting you at the senate were dressed in navy’s and blacks, doing their best not to be noticed as you landed on Naboo and walked to the Senate. A member of the Senate escorted you and the group to the building and by the looks of it, it was a new republic Senate instead of an Imperial one. You sighed out in relief.

As you took your seats at the Senate, you received many strange looks from other senators and their parties. You ignored their looks and kept a stern expression on your face, determined for this to go well and stand up for the rebels in hopes to get support from Naboo. It wasn’t as though you had no experience, Bail Organa took you to many of his own Senate’s back when you were pregnant and in need of a new job.

It was going to be a while before the Senate started, so you decided to chat with Omani and the rebels in your group to calm their nerves and reassure then that this wasn’t going to be a catastrophe. Omani seemed headstrong about the Senate, the only thing she was worrying about was if the Empire made an appearance, and one man in particular. Beside you, Mon Mothma was with her own party and you felt a little more assured that you were no longer alone. You exchanged a few words with her before a few more senators arrived and the room started filing up quick.

The grand chancellor of Naboo walked up to his stand and the Senate was in session. Many exchanges were made and you and Senator Mothma took to the stage with your heads held high and determination flowing through your veins. You tried not to dwell too much on the fact that the Empire could possibly turn up but you made sure to focus on the most important thing at that moment, and that was hopefully gaining support from Naboo with essentials like food, weapons and more bases.

As Omani was watching you, she had a curious look around the room. Her red eyes switched from person to person like a dot to dot game, eventually falling on the door at the back of the Senate and feeling her body go stiff when Imperial figures emerged from the doors and spectated the Senate from a respectable distance. She tugged on the dress of another rebel who was with her and pointed to the top of the stairs, alerting the Empire’s appearance to the party who then shared it on to Senator Mothma’s party. You sat back down and noticed how scared Omani looked, her blue hand shaking as it tapped your shoulder and pointed to the back of the room. Your blood ran cold when your eyes fell on an imperial woman with an unmistakable appearance that pissed you off.

It was Arihnda Pryce. What was she doing here?

You looked to Senator Mothma who exchanged a wary glance with you, her hands clenched nervously in her lap as the next person took to the stage to support the points you made. You kept looking back at the room to speculate Pryce and her band of goons in the Senate. She wasn’t a Senator, so why was the here? Was she here to order a massacre because the Empire wasn’t here? Or was she here in an attempt to act like a Senator? Both thoughts made you clench your jaw in anger.

Looking back to the Grand Chancellor, you noticed his eyes on Pryce. He spotted her at the stairs and requested that the Senate take a current pause due to the situation.

“And what might you be doing here? The Empire rejected our invitation” The Chancellor said in a loud, booming voice. Pryce never flinched, she only smirked and started making her way down the stairs of the senate. You glared at her the whole time, blocking Omani from her sight even though she was no where near you.

“That is true, Chancellor, but any Senate without the Empire is illegal, therefor this Senate shall disperse immediately” She grinned, making you want to punch her right in her annoying face as she rubbed her nails on the chest of her grey Moff uniform.

“That is not fair!” A Senator cried out, as did another, yelling different insults her way which she wasn’t the least bit effected by. Omani held onto your hand out of fear, her red eyes looking at the woman who you came to loathe so much in your Imperial days.

“I’m afraid it’s perfectly fair, this is against the rules of the Empire” She snapped at whoever yelled at her, her eyes narrow and brows furrowed into a menacing expression. She glared at whoever was around her, eventually stopping once her gaze landed on the Chancellor once again.

“This is my Senate! I shall do and say as I please!” The Chancellor exclaimed, apaulled by Pryce’s words and slamming his fist on the table he was standing at.

“Actually, you can’t” A new voice errupted from the entrance at the back of the Senate. The whole Senate fell silent, including you and Omani, and the rest of the rebels with you. You looked at Omani immediately, eyes glassy with shock as you grabbed her arm and looked back at the new face at the top of the stairs.

“Grand Admiral, what are you doing here?” The Chancellor asked with a stunned tone, clearing his throat and trying to seem confident as Thrawn, who’s eyes were looking straight into the Chandellors soul, made his way slowly down the stairs. Pryce turned to look at Thrawn with a smile, a smile you wanted nothing more than to smack off her face.

Omani spluttered and trembled behind you as she spotted the face of the man she knew as her father, gripping onto the sleeve of your dress tightly as she sat frozen in fear.

You stole a glance at Mon Mothma who was glaring right at the Chiss man making his way down the stairs, her fists clenched underneath the stand in front of her seat. You felt an underlying guilt fill you up the more you looked around the court, noticing everyone’s fierce glares towards the man you had a child with.

“Just stay behind me” You whispered to Omani, squeezing her hand as tight as you could without hurting her, pushing away the feeling of nausea stirring in your stomach.

“The Empire doesn’t have jurisdiction over my Senate, you aren’t wanted here” The Chancellor defended with a loud tone of voice, making his point as transparent as he possibly could whilst looking right back at Thrawn.

“I see... very well,” Thrawn sighed. “In favour of this... chancellor to continue this illegal debate, please stand?” Thrawn looked around the room with an amused smirk. There were a few people who stood up right away, not afraid of the consequences they’ll face by standing by the New Republic.

You looked down at your lap, looking to Omani who shook her head at you, silently begging you not do what she thought you were going to do. Smiling at her, you let her hand go and stood up from your seat, looking right at the Chancellor and nodding his way, earning one in return from him as he sent you a grateful smile. Omani and the others looked at you, horrified, but Mon Mothma smiled, though she did not stand herself.

A few Senators stood up after you, you were thankful that Thrawn’s attention didn’t seem to direct itself to you but sooner or later, stormtroopers appeared and approached those who were standing, including yourself.

Keeping your calm, you smiled and started chuckling at the situation you were in. The silence in the room emboldened your soft laughter and soon, everyone’s eyes were on you. A stormtrooper appeared behind you and grabbed your arms, putting you in cuffs and tugging for you to follow him.

“What’s so funny, Senator?” Pryce stepped forward, her gaze sharp and heavy on you as you stepped out of your Senator chair and gave Omani a reassuring nod.

“This is ridiculous, you Imperials do nothing but ruin everything, this was a peaceful negotiation until you showed up, Governor Pryce” You glared, eyes piercing right through her which caused her to let out a disgusted scoff.

“Arrest this woman at once-“

“That won’t be necessary, Pryce” Thrawn interrupted her, sending her a bone chilling glare that made you want to laugh right in her face. Her pride was torn apart as he stepped forward and looked right at you. Shit.

Thrawn noticed the smile forming on your face, it wasn’t because of Pryce, it was for him. He knew it.

“Senators deserve respect, not violence, get her out of the restraints” Thrawn ordered in a calm, yet demanding voice, causing the stormtrooper to immediately let you out of the handcuffs and step away from you. Thrawn smiled pleasantly at the sight of you glaring at the trooper with a deadly scowl.

“We all share different views in this Senate, though we might not all agree with them, but politics shouldn’t resolve to violence” Thrawn looked at you the whole time with a glimmer in his eyes, he was protecting you like he said on the hologram.

Omani was watching behind you, her eyes wide with surprise and confusion at the same time. She was relieved you weren’t going to be arrested or taken away, but the order was given by Thrawn of all people? She was absolutely positive it was a matter of being biased, if you were someone else he would’ve said nothing.

“This is still an illegal gathering and I unfortunately cannot let it continue,” Thrawn looked back to the Chancellor who’s frown returned to his face. Sighing, he nodded his head and gave in to Thrawn’s request without a single word. Small murmurs of defence echoed around the room but nothing dramatic came out of it.

“Wise choice, we shall take our leave then” Thrawn turned to Pryce, nodding at her to gather her troops and leave the Senate as everyone watched. Omani stood up beside you and wrapped her arms around you, holding you tight as she sobbed in your shoulder. Her cries were thankfully muffled by the sound of footsteps, drawing little to no attention as you held her close and kissed her cheek.

From a distance, Thrawn had turned back around to look at you, but he got a pleasant surprise when he witnessed you embracing no one else but your child, Omani. His frown slowly melted into a look of ease and he smiled at the sight. Whilst Omani rest her chin on your shoulder, she opened her eyes only to spot Thrawn looking right at her with a small smile. Her heart dropped to her stomach but through her tears, she smiled as well. Did he know? Or was he just smiling because she was one of his kind?

“He’s looking at us” Omani whispered in your ear, and in response you let her go and turned around, looking up slightly to meet his gaze and nod your head curtly at him. Thrawn nodded back, looking back to Omani who was shocked at the interaction between you and Thrawn, but she stood her ground and made no actions towards him.

“Am I missing something here?” Omani mumbled under her breath but you heard her, looking at her with a smile and shaking your head.

“Nothing important, let’s just focus on getting out of here” You patted her shoulder, kissing her head lovingly and sneaking another glance back at Thrawn when she turned to the other rebels who were there. The Grand Admiral looked hesitant to leave, his hands were clasped behind his back but every time he looked like he was about to move, he didn’t. Senators were starting to leave and so was Mon Mothma, but for a brief second it felt like no one else was in the room apart from you and Thrawn.

“Are you coming?” You turned to see Omani and the other rebels leaving the pod. You looked back at Thrawn and then back to Omani, nodding reluctantly and taking her hand as she walked out.

Thrawn watched from a distance as his daughter walked you out of the Senator pod, it was obvious you didn’t want to leave and he noticed the way you kept looking back to see him. His heart ached in his chest but he forced himself to look away, eyes landing on Pryce who’s face was full of fear. Saying nothing, Thrawn walked right past her and made his way out of the back entrance, the stormtroopers following behind him.

[stargirlrchive]

Home - Spencer Reid

masterlist ; request are open

author’s note: hi this is my first fic in over a year, crazy! and my first criminal minds/Spencer Reid fic so be nice to me <3 anyways hope you enjoy this, it was so fun to write. if you like Harry Potter my masterlist is linked above! i hate the title, can’t think of anything else though

disclaimer(s): kissing/making out, slightly nsfw but not really, curse words, angst? bold & italics are memories, GIF NOT MINE

pairing: spencer reid x reader

word count: 3,180

Whether people choose to believe it, Spencer was always angry and sad, but mainly angry. Angry that he was so stubborn and that his life slipped past him, angry about the fact that he went home to an empty apartment, angry that he was lonely.

A dark and heavy presence looming over him as he realized that it was about to be a year that he had broken up with you and he still couldn’t even turn to face your side of the bed. Because even if you never officially moved in with each other, that side was yours. From the very first night you had stayed over he knew no one would be able to take it. And that was true, no one had. It was just empty now.

It was nearing 3 am and he had been tossing and turning, the king sized bed feeling a lot smaller and crowded and he felt as if he was drowning. He threw the blankets off and picked out clothes, he needed a shower. A fresh, stress-relieving shower. So he trudged on into his bathroom, turning the water and waiting for it to adjust to the temperature he liked.

The second his eyes closed and the water hit him, your face, perfectly vivid in his mind appeared. Red rimmed puffy eyes, dark pink cheeks and bitten lips. His eidetic memory being both a blessing and a curse. He swore under his breath as he tried to get that very vivid image from his brain. He had not been able to even look at anyone else romantically much less be with them physically. So he couldn’t get all those images out of his brain. Not that he’d ever be able to, he thinks that even without his eidetic memory he would never be able to forget how you looked, how you felt.

His hand went out and turned the water even colder, shivering as the cold water hit his back. The memory left his mind quickly as he focused on his teeth clanking together. He just needed to cool off.

He left the shower soon after that, and changed into his clothes. Dark grey sweats and a black hoodie. He was drumming his fingers against the counter top as he waited for the water to finish boiling. He hated how there wasn’t a corner in his apartment that you didn’t mark, that wasn’t filled with your presence. He couldn’t seem to escape you.

You laughed quietly as Spencer fixed himself between your legs, arms wrapping around your waist as he laid his head on your shoulder. You were sure his neck was hurting, even with you sitting on the counter top he was so much taller than you. “Your neck is going to hurt, Spence.”

Your fingers began to thread through his hair, trying to untangle his curls. They slowly moved down to his neck, rubbing small circles. He hummed in appreciation and you felt his lashes flutter against your neck and you knew his eyes closed. “Why don’t you go to bed?”

“I was gone for over a week, did you not miss me?”

He was pouting and it made a small giggle escape from your throat and you felt him smile. “Of course I missed you, Dr. Reid.”

“Mmm.” He mumbled happily at the nickname.

You tugged at his hair softly to pick his head up, you wanted to stare at him for a little bit.

He picked his head up, his golden brown eyes shining darker than normal, his eyes looking like dry autumn leaves and you felt a warmth flow through you. “You know I love you right?”

He pressed his lips to yours softly in response, his lips were so soft and you pulled him closer. Your fingers draping themselves around his neck and making sure to press yourself as much into him as you could. His tongue slowly pried your lips open and danced along with yours. The kiss was heating up but remaining so sweet. You were the first to pull away, taking in a long breath of air, “I love you too.” He pressed another small kiss to your lips, recounting everything he could tell you about the last case he was on.

He picked the coffee mug, and made his coffee, grabbing his keys and slipping on some running shoes. He knew where he was going and he knew he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. He kept looking over his shoulder, it was only 4 in the morning and it was still dark out. Why the hell was he doing this?

He had made it to the apartment complex and he wondered if the code had changed, but he realized how incredibly creepy that was. Although his fingers itched to punch them in as the four digit code popped into his brain.

Then before he could stop himself he pulled out his phone and he was calling you. He felt like throwing up, what the hell was he thinking? He didn’t even know if this was still your number, and it was 4 in the fucking morning. Of course you weren’t going to answer. He was going to hang up before he could leave a voicemail but then a groggy “Hello?” came from the other side of the line and he stopped breathing.

There was a pause before a quiet “Spencer?”

He cleared his throat before nodding, then quickly realizing you were speaking on the phone, “Yeah-uh yes. Hi.”

He wanted to bash his head into the wall beside him, he is getting to talk to you after nearly a year, one of the worst of his life, and all he says is ‘Hi?’

“You do realize it’s 4 in the morning right?”

He looked up to where he knew your apartment to be and could see what he knew to be your bedroom’s light turn on, so you were still living here.

“Yes, I-Um I was just around the neighborhood and I wanted to say hi.”

He heard you laugh quietly and his stomach dropped, you didn’t sound angry, which he expected you to be.

“You were in the neighborhood? What are you doing driving around this late? Or early should I say.”

He could lie, so easily lie and say they just got off a case and this was the way to get home, which you knew to be true, or he could tell the truth. He went with the latter, “I’m walking actually, I just couldn’t sleep and decided to take a walk and before I knew it I was outside of your apartment.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath and since he was looking up, he saw when you peaked through the window. “But I should go- I shouldn’t have even come in the first place. I-I’m sorry. I have no right to just walk back into your life after a year. I’m sure whoever you’re with right now wouldn’t like it.”

“Whoever I’m with?” Your voice gave off how utterly confused you were and Spencer felt like crying. Because he knew he shouldn’t have but a small part of him hoped you were single, hoped that you were waiting for him. He was so utterly selfish because he couldn’t bare the thought of you with someone else. He wanted to know you were still his, even after all this time.

“Spencer I’m not with anyone, and you can come up. If you want?”

Your voice was so timid his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. “Can I please?”

“You remember the code?”

You both started laughing because of course he did, of course he fucking remembered the code, the floor, the apartment number. “I’ll be up in a few.”

Spencer hung up and nervously made his way up, walking slowly to calm the rapid beating of his heart, he could hear it ringing in his ears and feel the pulsing in his neck. He had no idea what to expect but this was the first time he was so utterly happy since the last time he was with you that he didn’t care, he just missed you.

You on the other hand had absolutely no time to calm your rapidly beating heart. You quickly slipped out of the large shirt you were wearing. It was definitely not because it was your ex-boyfriends who was currently making his way up to your apartment. You rummaged through your drawers and slipped on a matching pajama set you had and let your hair down, running your fingers through it to get rid of the look of it being up for a few hours. You brushed your teeth quickly, having just done it a few hours ago. You admired yourself in the mirror, you cleaned up good. You only had a second to yourself before there was a soft knock on your front door.

You felt dizzy, but in a good way. When you opened the door you tried your hardest not to look Spencer up in down, but the year apart had changed him. You bit down on your lip and gave up the pretense of checking him out. Because he didn’t, so why shouldn’t you?

You took in the stubble, the curls, the way he filled out the hoodie he was in, you could tell there was more muscle to him. He looked healthy, he looked good. Despite the dark circles under his eyes.

Spencer had to resist with everything in him to not wrap you up in his arms. So he just admired you from where he was standing outside. You were just like he remembered, only visible difference was that your hair was longer, from what he could tell it reached your lower back. He forced his eyes to remain on your face after the first time his eyes took all of you in.

He sent you a smile and you sent him one back, he felt his stomach drop and twist all at the same time. He felt breathless.

You moved from the door, “Come in.”

He walked in and awkwardly stood by your couch, he didn’t know if to sit or stand. He didn’t know if he was going to stay long or just be here for a few mins. He hated that he didn’t know how to act in your home when before he’d come back from a case and stay over even when you weren’t home.

You sat down and motioned for him to follow, which he did. You were drumming your fingers against your thigh as you nervously looked anywhere but him. Things were never this awkward between the two of you. He wished for things to go back to normal, whatever your normal was. It was strange having a boyfriend who worked for the FBI, things were never set in stone. That was why Spencer had been contemplating ending your relationship. He never had time, that was always his excuse. His career came before everything, even you. How he wished he had realized that your relationship was the only thing that centered and kept him grounded from all the chaos he saw everyday.

You had been waiting for over two hours. The restaurant was getting ready to close and the looks of sympathy from strangers made it so much worse. You were stood up, and by your boyfriend of two years. You felt the tears well up in your eyes as you realized he wasn’t showing up. You packed your bag and paid for the two glasses of wine you had drank. Wrapping your coat around as you walked through the chilly streets of Quantico, Virginia.

This had been happening so much lately you weren’t even sure why you were surprised, but it was your anniversary, and reservations to your favorite restaurant that Spencer himself had made. You decided to walk back to your apartment instead of taking a taxi, you needed to clear your head. Your phone began to ring and you let the first few tears actually slip down your cheeks. Picking it up to see that it was Spencer you didn’t have it in you to speak to him, he had hurt you far too much this time so you didn’t answer.

After 20 minutes your phone had not stopped buzzing so you decided to pick it up, you were growing frustrated.

“Hello?”

“Babe, where are you?”

You laughed quietly, he didn’t even remember. After he heard you laugh, one that was sarcastic and so out of character he had a sinking feeling he messed up. He looked at the calendar and the apologies instantly began to spill from his lips, how the hell did he manage to forget this?

“Spencer just leave me alone.”

Your voice cracked and he heard you sniffling, “Where are you so I can go get you?”

You didn’t answer his question, instead asking one of your own, “Where are you?”

“Your apartment.”

“Well now I’m not going there. Just leave and let me be alone.”

And with that the call ended and as much as he called you wouldn't answer.

After several hours of having Garcia track your phone, with no success because you had turned it off at one point there was still nothing.

Spencer’s eyes were raw from rubbing at them, he was trying his best not to cry in front of Garcia and Derek.

“I got something! Phone was just turned on and it looks like it’s a bar.”

“Have your phone ready.”

But a call didn’t come through, which they had assumed it was if the phone was turned on. After a few minutes Penelope wrote the address down and handed it over to Spencer, “Come on, I’ll take you.”

After that the night was almost a blur, Penelope helped Spencer take you back home.

Once you were back at your apartment and asleep, Spencer couldn’t stomach the thought of hurting you again. He kept doing it and he wasn’t sure how to stop it. He didn’t think you deserved that and thought that this would be easier. It wasn’t.

He wrote you a letter, letting you know it wasn’t working out and he just felt like your lives were far too busy and you were drifting apart. He asked you not to call, and you didn’t.

He really hoped you would have. But he couldn’t blame you, breaking up with someone over a letter? How cowardly. He thought you hated him.

“Earth to Spencer.”

He blinked a few times before he focused on you, you were smiling at him and he sent you one back, his cheeks burning. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I know you have a million thoughts running through that brain of yours every 10 seconds.”

Even now she was so understanding, even with how he ended things she excused the fact he wasn’t listening, was not present in the conversation.

“But do you want any coffee? I’m going to make myself some.”

He nodded and followed you into the kitchen, sitting on one of the highchairs of the island, his feet still touching the ground.

“I swear you’ve gotten taller.”

Your laugh rang through his ears and he swore it was the sweetest symphony he had ever heard, a dopey, lazy smile littered his features. He could listen to you all day.

“Maybe you just got shorter.”

“Touché Doctor.”

He wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking, but things seemed so normal, so at peace and at ease. You made the coffee for the two of you. You still remembered just how he liked it. He was never able to get it perfect, but you did.

“How has work been?”

He grimaced slightly, he didn’t know if it was a loaded question but with the look of pure honesty on your face, he knew you genuinely cared.

“Busy, like always. Think I just learned to prioritize certain things better and I make sure to give myself time off every now and then.”

There was hum in response to let him know you were listening. So he kept talking about different things that he had done throughout the year.

You couldn’t keep the smile from your face, even after he stopped talking.

“You know your eyes get lighter when you talk about things that excite you?”

His cheeks burned, “You’ve told me that before.”

“Still very true.”

Hours passed and you just caught up, eventually the topic of the breakup came up, it was inevitable. The sun was peeking through the blinds and you looked so sleepy, eyes droopy but you were fighting it. He knew you didn’t want him to leave and he didn’t either.

“You should get some rest.”

You rubbed your eyes tiredly, “I’m not tired.”

He laughed quietly and he could see when you started contemplating asking him, you were biting on your lower lip, they were so red and he wanted to kiss you. So badly he felt his core burning, you were so close, he could feel your warmth but he wasn’t going to do it. He didn’t want to scare you off, he didn’t want to push you away again.

“Do you want to stay?”

You were peaking at him through your lashes, cheeks flushed and nervously playing with your shirt. He did not need to be asked twice. He was nodding his head so quickly we wondered how he didn’t get whiplash.

Your smile was beaming and you stood up, holding your hand out for him. His finger quickly tangled with yours and he knew. You both did. That everything was fine between you. He missed how your hand fit in his like a missing puzzle piece. When you both got into the room he could see where you were laying down, the side he slept on untouched and he wondered if you had the problem of not being able to sleep on his side as well. He didn’t ask. He just slipped his shoes off and climbed into your bed, both of you sinking into each other, fitting perfectly together. Your legs tangled together, your face tucked into his neck and his head resting on top of yours.

“I’ve missed you.”

You looked up at him and pressed a soft kiss against his jaw, “I’ve missed you too.”

Spencer’s nose rubbed against yours and your eyes fluttered shut. Both of you wondered if you could feel the butterflies in the pit of your stomach. His lips were ghosting over yours, so hesitant and also scared that this was fake. That he was going to wake up from a dream and you wouldn’t actually be there.

But your lips crashed into his and he knew he wasn’t dreaming. This was far too real, far too familiar to be fake. He clung to you tightly and everything came natural. The kiss was all teeth and tongue and angry and sad and so overjoyed. The quiet noise that left your throat not going unnoticed by him and he pulled you in closer. He was home.

taglist: @swellwriting @carolinesbookworld @theboywhocriedlupin @awfulmoons @lumos-barnes @fortisfiliae @finnofamerica @beskarjedi (let me know if you’d like to be added <3)

[sacrilegious-skeletal-scribe]

I completely forgot how much I hate reading textbook definitions of writing analysis/advice/orders. Like Jesus fuck, I don’t even know if any of the—no, some of the information is wrong, but reading any of it feeling like raking shards of glass over my face after I spent an hour removing them from a frozen block of pig’s blood.

And I know some of it is me, and how I feel about people trying to dictate art, and the production of art and acting like art can be objectively compared or consumed like it isn’t an inherently emotional thing but god fucking damn it if this isn’t nauseating to read.

To watch some fucking asshole try to dictate to me, someone who has spent the last four, nearing five years of their life to the creation of art for the sake of itself, improving of time as I found a voice I was comfortable with using, twisting and reshaping it as I found new applications and wanted to see how badly I could mangle it for the style and tone I wanted to convey, how art should be allowed to be written, like anyone has any fucking higher understanding of that then anyone else is infuriating.

And then to be told absolutisms in the form of writing that is worthy of being consumed or considered ‘good’, like formulaic writing has any fucking place in the discussion at all, fucking what? That’s the one thing every writer, reading, enjoyer, critic can agree on, writing based off a checklist that you have to hit perfectly every time, with no exceptions is a sure fire way to make your writing the driest, most unentertaining art you can strive for.

And maybe, I’m reading too far into it, maybe they wanted to give general advice, but thought absolute phrasing was the only way to convey their tone, but even then, am I at fault? If you don’t mean, and are not trying to say, that your advice is the only thing to keep in mind, that if you break these arbitrary rules than your art cannot be considered worth making or consuming, then make that clear! Don’t talk in absolutes when discussing subjective opinions!

And it’s almost worse when it’s not absolutes, if that’s possible, because then they use such gems as ‘good paragraph(s) should have the following characteristics’ implying that if you don’t, it’s somehow not worth the effort? What if my paragraph is all dialogue, huh? What if I use disjointed sentences to convey a sense of confusion from the focus character, giving non-sequential placed thoughts and memories to convey unstable consciousness and recollection?

I’m sorry if this is nonsense and rambling, or if there are numerous grammar and spelling mistakes, there probably is, seeing as I write this in a fugue state induced by a flavor of rage I only ever experience when someone tries to ordain artistic expression.

Alright, I can’t even give a proper outro, I’m still so fucking pissed but TL;DR, literary absolutism is just as fucking stupid as literary elitism and if a textbook tries to tell you there’s only one way to make ‘“proper’’’ art, burn it.

Have a pleasant fucking evening heretics, if it gets worse you might even get a part two, depending if I decided to burn the book, in which case pictures will be provided, or if I simply decide to KS from god and put myself out of this italics-for-emphasis-hellmouth induced misery.

[amjustagirl]

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven.

Wordcount: 2.1k

Masterlist link here

AO3 link here 

Summary:

Akaashi Keiji catches glimpses of another life in his dreams. He dreams of fields of endless gold, of constellation of stars that light up the night sky. He hears the echo of birdsong in her laughter, her songs to the gods in the wind.

Author’s note: This fic is a little different from my usual work, so I’m a little nervous about publishing it. If you do like it, would love if you leave a comment / reblog / anything!

Pro tip: Italics denote scenes in Akaashi’s dreams / past.  

If you’d like to be included in the taglist, do drop me a msg/ask!

Time passes. 

Akaashi graduates from university with top honours and gets recruited immediately by a publishing company. He’s mildly disappointed when he’s dispatched to the manga department instead of the literature department as he originally hoped, but it’s not all that bad, he gets to work with Udai-sensei on his new volleyball manga. 

He’s content, all things considered. 

His mother is constantly on his case to find a girlfriend - because she insists she’s growing old and wants grandchildren soon. To placate her, he goes on arranged dates with daughters of his father’s business associates, with nieces of his mother’s friends. While they’re pleasant enough, they all seem to come from the same mold - well bred middle class university graduates more interested in complaining about their bosses and talking about the branded bags they’re going to get next. 

Once he tried asking one of them about the type of flowers she likes best. His date blinked in confusion at first, but immediately brightened up and she said ‘roses, I guess? They look so good on instagram!’ 

He did not ask for a second date. 

Honestly, he’s not exactly looking to date anyone at the moment. He’s young, barely twenty three. Work is time consuming enough, with his days filled with constantly looming deadlines and chasing temperamental mangakas like Udai-sensei. His mother will just have to accept that grandchildren are very much not in the near future. 

But he does feel somewhat guilty -  ‘even Yuji-kun is seeing this lovely girl, auntie tells me,’ his mother nagged last Sunday, so he picks up a habit of buying flowers to soothe her every time he heads to his parent’s home for a meal. 

‘Pink carnations for your mother again?’ the florist asks brightly. 

Akaashi nods, insisting on paying for the baby’s breath she adds to the bouquet. The florist lets him when he assures her he’s no longer a starving university student, and pulls her gloves off to rifle in her drawer for change. 

‘Here you go!’, she chirps, holding out a tray with his change. His gaze is drawn to the pink burn scars streaked across her hands, and flushes when she meets his curious eyes with a knowing look. 

‘Sorry, I - uh didn’t mean to stare’, he begins to splutter, but she waves it off. 

‘It’s fine. I got them a long time ago’, she replies, a wistful smile twisting her lips, tugging her sleeves down to her wrist. 

He bows and takes his leave. He doesn’t spare a second thought on the encounter when he reaches his parent’s house, his mother exclaiming over the little bouquet.

The table shakes when his colleague slumps into his seat, sighing deeply. 

‘Did your boss get on your case for typos again?’ Akaashi asks, his spoon pausing on the way to his mouth. 

‘Worse’, his colleague groans. ‘He’s sending me to Hokkaido for next month’s feature on crimes that shocked the nation, and I have to travel all the way up the mountains to some dinky little town without a train station.

‘Hm’. Akaashi raises an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. ‘What’s the feature about?’ 

‘See for yourself’. His colleague dramatically slides his folder of articles across the table, bumping it into Akaashi’s plate. 

He thumbs through the folder. Nakamura Yakeru, the mayor of a small mountain town in Hokkaido, found guilty on a multitude of charges - breaking and entering, causing arson by fire, assault and attempted murder of a schoolgirl, her identity redacted. It’s shocking in and of itself - but there’s something awfully familiar about the man’s face. 

He smooths out the creases in the paper, bringing the newspaper clipping closer to his face, and oh - 

He knows that face. 

His mind echoes with the memories of flinching at the sight of Nakamura’s teeth, yellowed from nicotine and bared in a smirk, the acrid stench of cigarettes lingering on his shirt, cursing whenever that inconsiderate bastard left sparks smouldering in dry grass. But it doesn’t make sense - there’s no reason for him to have ever met the man. He’s never been farther north than Sapporo, a born and bred Tokyo city boy after all. And he doesn’t recall seeing the man’s face on the news either when the crime was committed. 

So why would his dreams feature this man? 

‘Akaashi?’ he hears his colleague call his name, but his voice can barely be heard over the pounding of his heart in his ears. ‘You’ve gone really white, is everything ok?’ 

‘I’m fine’, he replies, hastily shoving the article back in the folder. ‘Everything’s fine.’ 

His colleague doesn’t look like he believes him. Frankly, Akaashi doesn’t believe himself either. 

Try as he might, he can’t get the eerie coincidence out of his mind. And after a few restless nights, he finds himself back in his childhood bedroom, holding the old omamori in his hands. It’s just an inanimate scrap of cotton fabric, but he’s tempted to borrow his mother’s sewing kit to pick its stitches apart, to discover the secrets woven into its threads. 

It feels silly being so superstitious, but he can’t help feeling that he’s on the verge of discovering what his strange dreams have been trying to show him - so he tucks the omamori under his pillow, his thumbnail catching on a stray thread, before he surrenders himself to his dreams. 

‘Akaashi Keiji’, a cool voice pronounces his name with faint amusement. ‘Back to change the terms of our bargain? ’

His eyes fly open. 

This time he’s on familiar ground, kneeling on the twenty sixth step of the shrine he visits with his parents for  Hatsumode, the other twenty five steps below him shrouded in mist. But the woman standing before him is not familiar to him - in fact, she’s clearly not even human, not with her red eyes and pale lips, not with the wisteria trailing from her hair and disappearing into her skin. 

That should scare him, but it doesn’t because he can’t discern any malice in her eyes, and the scent of the wisteria is soothingly sweet. 

So his curiosity wins out over his sense of caution, and he asks politely - ‘I’m sorry, who are you exactly? And, um. What bargain are you referring to? ’

Her eyes gleam. ‘I’m offended. Don’t you recognise the guardian of the shrine you’ve been praying at your whole life? And as for the bargain you’ve made with me - I thought you already figured it all out by yourself, little boy.’ Laughing airily, she crouches over him, a wooden plaque dangling from her finger. ‘Remember this?’

He reads the words etched on the plaque.  ‘I wish I could have more time. I wish for yesterday to come again.’ Then he glances up at the shrine deity sharply. ‘I remember that from my dreams. Does this mean they’re real?’  

‘What do you think?’ Her lips stretch into a grin. 

‘Logic would suggest that they aren’t. It shouldn’t be possible to swap bodies, let alone with someone I’ve never met in my life. And yet…’ 

‘And yet?’ she prompts, tilting his head towards her with the nail of her finger.

‘It’s too much of a coincidence to ignore the fact that I know Nakamura Yakeru from my dreams, so that suggests at least some semblance of it is real.’ He looks at her pleadingly. ‘Are you here to help me?’ 

She laughs again, the sound ethereal like the flutter of butterfly wings. The sleeves of her purple kimono slide down her wrists, the scent of wisteria enveloping him growing sickly sweet. ‘Help you? Well, since you asked so nicely, little boy, I guess there’s no harm telling you your dreams are real. I granted your wish on a whim, and look how amusing you’ve been!’

Oh gods his dreams are real. They’re real. Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods, they’re real.  

Akaashi feels his stomach churn. He inhales a shaky breath. 

That means she’s real, doesn't it?

He thinks about the salaciously titled newspaper articles, the violence implied in its words. He thinks about the innocence in her impulses, the whimsicalness of her thoughts. He feels ill at the thought of someone deliberately trying to extinguish her. 

‘What happens in the end ?’ he asks, blood surging to his head, slamming his palms flat on the ground for support. ‘What happens to her?’

Sunlight pierces through the fog, and the wisteria spirit starts to fade before his very eyes. 

‘Why don’t you see for yourself?’, her voice echoes.  ‘You’ll find all the answers you’re looking for at the shrine in the forest. You know the way there - you’ve been there a thousand times, both in real life and in your dreams.’

He gasps as he jolts awake, hands clenching his sheets. 

He’s in his bed in his apartment. Everything is exactly as it was before he went to sleep. 

Well - everything except the scent of wisteria lingering in the air.

Udai-sensei’s eyes bug out from its sockets when Akaashi tells him he’s off to Hokkaido for an impromptu holiday. 

‘You aren’t burnt out, are you? Is it me? Is it the deadlines? Don’t quit on me - there’s no way another editor can provide the same input on my new volleyball manga like you!’ he begs, sounding dangerously close to tears. 

Akaashi sighs, muttering under his breath about ‘ highly strung mangakas’  but manages to reassure Udai that no, he’s not quitting, he’s just taking a four day break. He thought it’d be nice to visit the flower fields during summer in Hokkaido, and he has an old friend in those parts he might pay a visit to.  

So he puts himself on a short flight to Sapporo, and a painfully long bus ride further north into the mountains, arriving at the rural village he’s traversed countless times in his dreams. He drags his luggage past the high school, the  crunch  of wheels on gravel slowly knocking loose memories of bones aching, flesh bruising, from tumbles down the stairs, from falls off drain pipes, from predestined losses against cement floors. 

He exhales through his nose when he walks past the florist’s shop. It’s a hollow shell of bare concrete and cardboard shutters, a gap where the signboard should be on the shopfront, a stark contrast to the bustling bakery and  combini  it’s sandwiched between. Thank the gods, he mutters, the blaze of hurt and desperation in Hana-chan’s eyes haunting his mind. 

The only inn in the town is serviceable enough, though he’s looked at in askance by the innkeeper when he admits he’s an editor for a publishing company. ‘Another gossip hound ’, the old lady mutters resentfully, and Akaashi has to do damage control lest she assign him the dampest room in the establishment and assure her that he’s no journalist, just a flower enthusiast interested in the lavender blooming in the fields. He charms her enough with his politeness that by the time he checks into his room, she offers him free use of a bicycle to explore the town, and he takes her up on her offer once he drops off his bags in his room. 

The summer sun is starting its descent from the sky as he cycles past familiar dirt paths lined with trees, the anticipation in his blood thrumming as he passes sprawling farms he’s sure he’s eaten stolen eggs from, passes the gas station  she  bragged about stealing petrol from. The rush of blood to his head hits a roaring crescendo when he reaches the edge of the woods. 

Leaning the bicycle against a fallen tree, he sets off to the very heart of the forest, his feet seeming to recognise a path his eyes cannot see. The deeper into the forest he ventures into, the thicker the branches overhead seem to grow, leaves interwoven into a net that blocks the sun. 

The wind ripples over his skin. The trees seem to whisper out to him. 

Okaeri, he hears. Welcome home, the Kodama spirits murmur over the rustle of leaves in the breeze.

Sunlight from the setting sun spills into a clearing just ahead, and though he’s almost blinded by the sudden flash of light, he can make out the outline of a shrine, situated dead center of the clearing and breaks into a run.  There it is , he thinks, dropping to his knees, hands trembling as he brushes fallen branches and leaves off the shrine, deaf to the growing whispers from the trees surrounding him. 

‘Please grant me your secrets’, he breathes, eyes closed in prayer. 

He can feel a pulse in the ground, a sudden shift in the air. Wisteria blooms from the soft earth in his heart. 

Oh. 

Oh gods. 

He remembers. 

Taglist: 

@forgetou @animeflower26​ @kageyamakock @underrated-fruit-tarts-official @bongofrito​