#it's what she (they) deserve

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[usertoxicyaoi]

Algeria's Imane Khelif wins Olympic Gold at the Women's Boxing in the Paris Olympics 2024.

[chloesimaginationthings]

The moment FNAF movie Vanessa knew she fucked up

[erros429]

MARCILLE'S DESPERATION FOR FALIN THE ENTIRE TIME. TO THE POINT OF NEEDING TO BE HELD BACK SO SHE DOESN'T RUSH IN AND GET HERSELF KILLED. THINKING THAT FALIN, HER FALIN WOULD NEVER HURT HER. GOD.

THEN DEFENDING HER DURING AND AFTER FALIN IS MERCILESSLY KILLING PEOPLE IN FRONT OF THEM AND BEGGING THEM NOT TO KILL HER. GOD. SAPPHICS PORTRAY DEVOTION LIKE NO OTHER

[rozer0ry]

CW blood, violence

Rage .

[dasketcherz]

it was a pretty cool dlc, i enjoyed it a lot

[smokestarrules]

gotta say I am a huge sucker for how Adventure Time will sometimes just cut to Princess Bubblegum doing something extremely morally dubious like cutting off a tiny person’s limbs with scissors and then sticking those arms and legs onto another tiny person’s limb stumps but then she'll turn around and go like "Good morning, Finn! Are you ready for a sploinking day?" and whatever atrocities she had just been committing will Never be brought up again.

[blessyouhawkeye]

just found out that not only has dolly parton been married for nearly 60 years to the same normie ass guy who owned a road paving business who and i quote "went to a single event before swearing off hollywood forever" but also he looked like this

and all i have to say is. good for her.

[bisexualpercyjacksons]

pjo tv show episode 5 alignment:

[sleepysebris]

:) 🖤

@mlsecretsanta gift for @thequeenofspace! happy belated holidays and apologies for the delay, had a serious family emergency followed by sickness! I had so much fun making this though, was so excited to finally draw these two 🖤 hope you enjoy!!!

[savagegood]

she is thriving | THE BEAR SEASON TWO

[demigods-posts]

percy doing better than annabeth in college is one my favorite developments in the rrverse. if we reflect on percy and annabeth's academic upbringing. annabeth living at camp allowed her to receive accommodations for her adhd and dyslexia and surround herself with like-minded campers who had the same limitations. whereas percy was ridiculed, belittled, and routinely humiliated because of his adhd and dyslexia. even more so, percy's friends and family leave him out of the loop on so many important issue (no chb orientation film, no information about the great prophecy) which perpetuates his subpar confidence and self-esteem in his skills as a student and a demigod. but going to college at NRU changes his mindset because he receives the accommodations he should have gotten years ago and fucking thrives to the point of getting higher grades than annabeth — a person he deems way smarter and more prepared than him in every way. the most important thing percy is learning now is that a supportive environment makes all the difference, and he is more capable than he initially thought.

[technically-human]

Recharging

[chloesimaginationthings]

The tragedy of being William Afton’s daughter in FNAF..

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

while we wait.

may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?