#it's well written and a good story obv

[gildeddlily]

my something flag is that, as a seasoned marauders fan, I've never read All The Young Dudes. I tried to, finished half the thing, then got bored and stopped. just like that. and now I can't stop seeing videos or posts talking ab it while i'm just there being pretty and voluntarily ignorant

[sanasanakun]

Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.

It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A digital drawing of the character Billy Kid from the film Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire. He's wearing the outfit he wears for the grudge match, but sans the suit jacket. His pose is unconfident, knees together and one slightly bent. He hunched over slightly, loosely holding a snooker cue. There's a sheepish grin on his faces as he gazes off into the distance, noticeably sweating. There's a snooker table behind him, it's perspective warped. Above it, there's a fringed lamp that gives off a pale yellow light. The rest of the room is in shadow. All of the colours in the piece are warm but this makes the yellow light and green baize feel sickly. The lineart is starkly dark, with exaggerated shadows.]

Inktober - Day 16 (Grungy)

Film - Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire (Alan Clarke, 1985)

[harrowscore]

wow, mockingjay was. much more violent and gory than i remembered

[chooey]

just finished breaking bad

[yoongihan]

Girl Code - HHJ - OneShot

pairing: art professor hyunjin x admin femreader

genre: office au, university au, coworkers to lovers, angst, fluff,

romantic trope: enemies to lovers (I DID MY BEST OKAY?)

word count: ~4k

rating: T (for at least one objectifying comment)

warnings: hyunjin in glasses, with paint streaks on his clothes and person; mc is kinda rude to him; someone is actually a horrible person in this; characters drink but everyone is of age; hyunjin is older (about 28), mc is 24; probably some cursing because it's me and cursing is my native language;

a/n: story #5 in the skz as romantic tropes collab with @jl-micasea-fics. this is a little bit of her fault too as when the magic school photos dropped she mentioned hyunjin as an art professor. i chose this trope (e2l) to challenge myself as it's not my regular jam annnnnnd i don't know if i really did it all that well. i did try. please be kind to this chronic f2l writer. i apologize for any typos or mistakes. i am my own editor.

-----

Pretty Privilege.

It’s not a thing you personally have experienced, to your knowledge. Maybe you have. Maybe once amongst your friend group, you were considered the stand out and someone gave you a pass because they liked the way your eyes are shaped, or how you smile with teeth, or whatever.

You’ll allow that.

But generally, you hate that it even exists. Pretty privilege. Isn’t it enough to get to be pretty in this world? Without the world groveling at your feet and simultaneously pushing any obstacle out of the way for you? 

So when Professor Hwang is hired as the new art professor at the university where you admin, you take an immediate dislike. After, at first, the overwhelming surge of attraction because he truly is the prettiest human you’ve ever seen outside of screen. 

Even when your work friends discuss romance, and when Juhye from the Performative Arts department (she has basically the same job as you, just different department) mentions that she thinks he might be interested in her, you join in that yes, he’s very attractive and seems nice, and of course he’d be a great partner for her.

Even if you kind of hate him. 

And since you admin in the same department as he teaches (Fine Arts, obv), it’s your job (according to your friends and the unspoken rules that you really wish were spoken and written down) that you hype her up when he’s in the vicinity. You have to.

Girl Code: requiring you to promote her, and not be too friendly with him because one does not want to violate Girl Code.

Once in undergrad was enough and you would do anything not to experience that ostracization ever again. 

Unspoken rules that make life more difficult that it already is. You feel very much like you hyping Juhye is as subtle as a truck, and in doing so you are as awkward as well, whatever is very very awkward.

“You locked yourself out again?” You do your best not to hiss at him, but in over one semester of him being on the faculty, the man has locked himself out of his Canvas account at least a dozen times.

Hyunjin, Professor Hwang, as he is to his students, gives you the most sheepish smile, and deep down you acknowledge that it’s cute as hell. This man who could be art himself, looking self-conscious that he can’t be trusted with the basics of technology. 

“I know. I don’t know how I do this.” He shrugs, straightening his wire-rimmed glasses. “Isn’t my laptop supposed to save that info for me, so I never have to try and remember?”

“It is.” You think to offer that he can bring his laptop and you can look to see if Google, or whatever browser he uses (probably like Firefox or something equally horrendous), is saving his passwords, but you don’t. Because it’s not in your job description and: “Juhye’s pretty good at that kind of stuff. I’m sure she could make sure it’s doing that. Saving your passwords, login info.”

He hums in lieu of a response, moving from in front of your desk to behind you to see what you’re doing. He doesn’t ask, which makes you bristle, but you’re not doing anything confidential and he’s not really breaking your personal bubble, so you can’t say anything. 

“I’ve never asked,” he begins as though talking to you while you’re working isn’t annoying. “But I assume, this isn’t what you went to school for. Did you study tech…stuff?”

You’re mildly amused that he doesn’t use the official term ‘computer science’. But just mildly. You can still dislike someone and still find them amusing on occasion. 

“No.”

There’s silence, minus the sounds of your typing and mouse-clicking. 

“What did you study?”

You don’t like lying. It’s not a thing you prefer to do in life. You do, everyone does, but you try avoid it as much as possible. So even though you know this might interest Hyunjin and you know you should not interest him, ever, you tell the truth.

“Photography. I mean, I studied business, too, but mostly photography and mixed media art.”

There’s silence yet again.

“Which is why I’m here. In this department.” The silence has become unbearable. 

“Photography?”

He’s going to ask to see something.

“You good at it?”

You turn to look at him. He seems genuinely curious, not like he’s about to pass judgment. But, he’s hard to read. That perfect face can look very RBF according to Juhye (which she thinks just makes him all the more mysterious and sexy) and even blank which gives you less on which to assess him for. 

His hair pulled back in a ponytail and black textured turtleneck make him seem even more aloof, like the rich pretty boy in an anime. 

“My grades and graduating GPA said I was.” You put very little stock into quantifying art and creativity into numbered grades, but you did graduate well enough to please your parents. 

He rolls his eyes. “Oh okay then.” 

God, he’s annoying. 

“Anyway.” You turn back to your computer. “Everything is reset. Your email has the links to come up with a new password. Try to write it down somewhere, or you know, memorize it.”

“No space,” he replies. “No space for memorizing meaningless words and numbers and symbols.”

“Really? What’s your brain full of then? Creative genius?” You don’t even hide your sarcasm.

He laughs. “I hope so. Mostly just images of all the greats I studied. And then my students and what they do. It’s a photo album that never ends and changes order. Often.”

He’s slipping by you toward the door that leads out of the Fine Arts offices. You stare at him, his words lingering. 

“Thanks again,” he says, halfway through the door. He smiles at you, a small one, a polite ‘this is how we socially interact’ type smile.

It’s still so stupid beautiful. You hate it.

–

At the next day’s lunch, you dutifully let Juhye know about how you encouraged Hyunjin to bring his laptop and technology woes to her and she brightens and preens, and you almost feel like maybe you don’t hate him. 

It’s a small consolation. 

One of the benefits (there are just a few) of working at the school that you attended, in the department you majored in, is use of the facilities. Not whenever you want as the current students and professors get first claim on any studio, extra supplies, or the dark room. 

In two years of working post-undergrad, you’ve learned when the down times, the lesser claimed times were. Certainly not before midterms or finals. Nor right when the semester begins because all the overachievers feel like studio or dark room time will somehow make all the difference. 

But right now, in the in between times, you can book some dark room sessions which encourages you that someday you might ‘make’ it as a professional photographer, that you aren’t losing your skills. 

You’d taken a day to drive up to the nearest mountains to one; soothe your soul with nature (and pollen sadly) and two: take a new set of photos. As with everyone else in the 21st century, you use and manipulate digital photographs as well, but you also do film because it’s its own thing. 

As you turn on the red light bulbs in the darkroom, negatives now fully developed, you smile because film and the process of getting from undeveloped roll of film to tangible photo makes you happy. It’s a comforting process that you can almost do in your sleep. With how late it was when you went to bed last night is a good thing because two cups of coffee is not doing its usual thing. 

There’s a knock on the door of the dark room and your smile immediately drops. 

Damn students (it’s a fruitless grievance because it is their right as they are paying a ridiculous amount for this education, but ugh, it’s annoying to be on the bottom rung of the hierarchy).

“Occupied.”

“I left something in there that I need.”

It’s like every muscle of your body tenses, and every nerve sets alight. 

“Professor Hwang?” Like you need to confirm. 

There’s a pause, like he’s registering your voice before he says your name. 

“Yes, I’ve got the safe lights on, but if you make sure everything is off out there, I can open the door.” Sooner he comes in, the sooner he can leave. 

There’s a low chuckle. “I know the drill.”

You bristle at the patronizing tone.

“Everything is off.”

You open the door and mentally curse him. Even with the lights which you’d considered an unflattering shade of red, he still looks like art. 

Art like a rendition of a fallen angel or romantic vampire with the shadows on his face and red tinge his neck-length brown hair takes on. His glasses are horn-rimmed today, his white shirt pink in the light and sleeves rolled up, black slacks. There are at least three paint smudges on his forearms.

He nods and gives you a polite smile. It’s the most reserved he’s ever been with you, at least since first meeting. You would never describe him as outgoing by any means, but certainly friendly, amiable. He doesn’t hold any of the underlying snobbery of other art professors who have lived so long in the ivory towers of academia and the art world, that any one not well-versed is unworthy of such allowances as kindness or care. 

For all his faults, Hyunjin is not the worst. 

You step back, aware that you are essentially, just staring at him like a moron. He slips in, glances at the negatives out that you’ve just developed.

“Pleased?” he asks as he moves toward the shelves of chemicals and random items (things left and abandoned by years of students and professors - your favorite is a tiny figurine of the black cat from Kiki’s Delivery Service. No one has taken it back, as though left here on purpose by someone in the past six years. He’s the official mascot of this particular dark room and therefore your favorite). 

“Pleased?” you repeat.

“With your work?” He grabs some acrylic paint tubes off the shelf. “What you just developed?”

Now you feel stupid. Obviously that’s what he’s asking about. Not if you’re pleased to see him. That would be stupid. You aren’t. Surely even he can see that.

“Um, not sure.” You return to the film and its small images. You set one image over the projected enlarger so it’s visible to the both of you. It’s not much, a solitary tree, slightly off center in the frame. “Haven’t had a chance to see if it was a total waste of roll or not.”

Even though you don’t look to see him move, you feel him stand slightly behind you to also take in the image. 

You hold your breath for a number of reasons. 

One; because you don’t need to breathe in his cologne which is actually really lovely (so you hate it).

Two; because his nearness is off-putting as he’s not really breaking any social rules by being too close and darkrooms aren’t exactly spacious, but dammit he’s close. 

Three; because you actually want to know what he thinks.

That last one pisses you off the most. You and he don’t dabble in the same medium (he’s painting and drawing; you always stuck with photography, sometimes mixed media) so who is to say his thoughts are at all valuable.

Not that he isn’t skilled. Every professor in the Visual Arts department is, even the ones you dislike the most.

Like him. 

“It’s lonely.”

You flinch at his words, his voice seeming loud in the quiet of the room. 

“Being asymmetrically composed, the tree feels even more out of place and lost.”

You force yourself to continue staring at the project and not turn to see his expression. Because you might show your thoughts and those don’t need to be discoverable by Professor Hwang Hyunjin.

“I like it. Even if it’s a bit out of focus.”

You lean into the projection to see that he is correct. There is a slight blur to the edges, fuck it all. 

You straighten back up. “Intentional.” Not that you moving in and checking it wasn’t a damn giveaway that you are lying like a lying liar, but maybe he’s stupid.

“Ah.”

Maybe a little. Or he lies too. 

“Are you entering any contests or doing a showing?”

Does he truly want to have a normal conversation right now? In the dark room? Alone? When you are working on your own stuff?

You take a few steps away, turning off the projector. 

“I don’t have anything specific in mind. Just keeping a hand in, you know?”

He nods, the shadows lengthening then shortening on his face. “Not that this subject matter is relevant, but you know our theatre department is looking for a photographer? Dr. Kim mentioned it just yesterday.”

“They are?”

“You can do action and work with that type of lighting?”

You work hard not to sneer. “Yes. The photography program here is pretty thorough.”

He shrugs. “I would hope so, though I must admit I know little of Dr. Cha’s work with students. And only the bare essentials of the craft.” He’s smiling, looking far less like a work of untouchable art and more like someone who regularly laughs; at himself and at the absurdity of the world. 

The dried paint on his cheek is wrinkled and breaking with that smile. 

You mentally shake yourself. 

When you don’t say anything, making the silence veer on awkward, he clears his throat. 

“You should apply. I think you’d do well.” He laughs now. It’s silly. “Not that I have much understanding the ins and outs of course, my recommendation is probably worth little.”

“You’d say something?”

“To Kim? Sure.” 

“With one photo?”

He now looks amused. “I’ve seen your instagram, too. Dr. Cha often shares his former and current students’ work and I follow her.” He starts to the door. “I’ll say something.” He holds up the paint tubes. “Thanks for letting me in.”

He opens the door before looking back. “Have a good night.” And disappears through it. 

The room feels strange now. The red hue seems not as striking, and the air carries that hint of piquancy of his cologne.

You do a physical shake of yourself now before returning to make some prints. 

–

When you see Juhye out for drinks with the rest of your compatriots Friday night, you ask her. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about the theatre photographer position?” She works in the Performative Arts department, even updates the website. Of all people, she would be one of the first to know. 

She’s had about two more cocktails than you which means her eyes take several moments to focus on you. You lean against the bar next to her, waiting. 

“Why would I?”

You bite your tongue to retort. “Because I’m a photographer.” 

She wrinkles her nose, saying your name in the most patronizing tone you’ve heard since high school. “They want professionals.”

You jerk back as though she swung a dagger at you. 

But you try again. Because friends. And Girl Code. “I applied though. Would you say something to Dr. Kim please?”

She takes a deep breath that you can hear despite the loud house music pumping in this bar. “Honey,” The sickly sweetness of the condescension makes you want to gag. “We’re friends and all, but I am not risking my name just because you think you can do something like this. Real friends tell each other the truth.”

As she finishes this quasi-sermon, the bartender produces another drink for her, and a receipt to sign. She does, scrawling also her snapchat username. He takes the slip, makes eye contact with her and smirks before moving to another patron. 

“What was that?” you ask, still processing her apparent disregard for your dreams and talent. “I thought you were ‘in love’ with Professor Hwang?” You are petty enough to do finger quotation marks. 

She rolls her eyes and shrugs, already looking past you for the rest of your group. “I am. But wanting a luxury car doesn’t mean that one can’t ride in a station wagon.”

If you’d had more liquor, maybe you could have thrown up on her as you currently feel ill, both disgusted and horrified. 

To equate humans to cars reeks of objectification and lack of seeing someone as a whole person. 

And you might hate Hwang Hyunjin, but you know he’s more than just a beautiful (on the surface) man. 

Juhye slips by you to find the others as you realize how incredibly shit of a friend she is. Of a person. In fact, you turn to stare at her back in astonishment because you thought you were good at reading people, at sifting through the kinds of people you want to surround yourself with. Juhye has never been someone you were incredibly close to, but you thought she was decent, even if her taste in men was lacking.

“I didn’t know you came here.”

As though your life is a full-on drama, you turn back to see that in her place is Hyunjin. He’s got a martini glass in hand, the liquid a vibrant green. 

“Rarely,” you answer tonelessly, your brain still trying to understand the revelations of the last five minutes. You nod to his drink. “What’s that?”

He grins, alcohol having warmed his smile. “Appletini.”

A surprised laugh exits your mouth before you realize it. You assumed he’d probably drink something like fancy single malt scotch or absinthe (the green). Here he is, this impressive and young art professor, one who has had an extolled art showing in the last year (you might have researched him some when you realized how much you hated him), drinking the equivalent of Apple Jacks in a martini glass. 

His smile is a little cute.

He isn’t wearing glasses right now, which is a shame, but his t-shirt and jeans give him less of that art prof vibe, and more of the cute guy you meet at a bar. 

“Good?” you ask, finding yourself bewildered and amused.

He nods emphatically, offering it to you as though you’re friends who share.

You shake your head, even though you sort of want to. 

“Thank you. I should go.” It might be the lighting, but he looks way too cozy with his hair tucked behind his ears, the wind from outside making it tousled. 

You look around to see Juhye and several of your friends over at a booth. They are watching with piercing eyes. 

Juhye whispers to another.

You feel it. The momentary terror of doing something wrong, the violation of the code in talking to your friend’s crush.

“Before you do.” He sets down his drink, inching a bit closer to you. “I talked to Dr. Kim. About the job? I can’t say for sure, but I think he was definitely looking forward to talking with you about it. I showed him your series with the cyclists by the Han River, from your insta. One of my favorites of yours.” 

You feel your eyes itch all of a sudden, a sudden tightness in your throat. You force back the tears that threaten. 

“I…thank you.”

His smile gets even bigger, his eyes nearly squeezed shut in his joy. 

You need to go. Like now. 

“Of course. What are friends for? Or at least, coworkers.” He giggles. 

Friends. The spike of anxiety lessens. Because you know what real friendship is. And it’s not in whispers and unspoken rules and carelessness. 

It’s thoughtfulness, it’s giving without asking for anything back. 

“If you get the job, I expect you to buy me a drink.” His playful words make you tense all the more, because you see it. You see how kind he is.

He sees you.

“I’m kidding,” he says almost as quickly. “I just–”

“I know.” You meet his eyes and smile though you imagine it’s more teary than warm right now. “I’ll definitely buy you another appletini if I get it.”

There’s no RBF right now. Only sparkling eyes, turned up lips, and kindness. 

And you need to go.

“Sure. Um, bye.” You race out of there like being chased by a supervillain. 

–

It’s the end of the school year, and even though you still work during the summer (a lowly admin’s job is never done), you feel the excitement.

Because you’re changing departments. After photographing and doing promotional shots of the university’s spring musical, Dr. Kim wants you on staff full-time, to capture all of the Performative Arts department; the classes, the productions, even the silly open mics that the students and professors do every month. The website, the newsletter, the alumni magazine; all have a credit of yours by the time May ends. 

You feel like maybe you haven’t been treading aimlessly post-university as much as you thought. 

“So,” Hyunjin says, before taking a sip of his luminescent green cocktail. He leans on his elbows across from you. “We aren’t in the same department any more.” There’s a pout at the end, a small, silly thing that makes you roll your eyes, but deep down, you think it’s (he) is adorable. 

“I know. You’ll have to bug someone new when you forget your password. Again.”

His pout doesn’t leave. “They might be nicer to me.”

In the months that followed that night at the bar, you decided to apologize to him. It was in his office, when he was sorting through papers and you were nearly on your way home for the day. You had succeeded in avoiding Juhye and him for three days when you got the email from Dr. Kim for a quick interview. 

So you stopped by to thank him, then apologize for being rude.

“You hated me? Huh. I thought you were just kind of grumpy. It’s cute.”

To say you were simultaneously both flattered and outraged (he’d not even been offended, once?) would be understatement. 

He likes to tease you about it now.

“But to go back to my original thought,” he continues, reaching out to steal a fry from your plate. “No longer in the same department. We’ll have to try and see each other instead of just happening to run into each other.” He raises one eyebrow at you.

“Yeah. Ugh, are you a clingy friend?”

“Not really.” He pauses, taking another drink before setting it back down. “I am…a little bit of a clingy boyfriend.” 

You’re holding your breath again. 

You can acknowledge that you and Hyunjin aren’t just coworkers, he’s not your enemy (if he ever was) anymore. You’re definitely more friends with him than anyone else from work (you’ve pulled away from Juhye and her little group and honestly, you don’t miss them). 

Being friends, being friendly and open with Hyunjin has its own drawbacks because now you have to contend with how lovely a person he is; how talented, funny, goofy, and compassionate. Which makes it difficult. When you hated him, he was easy to keep at a distance.

Now that you like him, you might really like him.

“Uh, we aren’t dating.”

“What do you call this?” he asks, nonplussed that he’s brought up your entire relationship as a topic of conversation, as though you’re discussing the weather, or the latest student’s project. He points at your mostly empty plates, his martini glass, your half-full gin and tonic. Then he points at you and then himself.

“I’m paying though.” Spring in academia is a sprint to the finish and though he’d been joking about you owing him a drink if you got the job, you are currently owning up to it now that the semester is over. 

“So? Is it only a date if I pay?” He tsks at you. “I thought you were a feminist.”

Your glare doesn’t have the same bite as it used to. It’s too fond. 

“This is a date?”

He leans across the table, adjusting his glasses as though it’ll help him see you better. Even with familiarity, you still feel a bit overwhelmed by him. 

“I want it to be.”

There is no policy about coworkers dating at your university, just that professionality reigns at the school. There is no reason why you and Hyunjin cannot date. Even though you often feel like professors are on another level compared to the administration. 

He’s not even that much older than you. 

Perhaps it’s remnants of being so worried that you might break ‘Girl Code’ if you’re at all nice to him because of Juhye’s ‘claim’ that you are hesitant. Maybe you need to acknowledge that he is so much more than what you or Juhye reduced him to in the beginning.

Maybe you realize that you have been ‘dating’ him awhile without even comprehending it.

Maybe you also lean across the table, letting your lips brush against his stunning ones (if you painted like him, those lips would probably show up in a piece) and hear his soft exhale as though he relaxes. Because he realizes it too.

You like each other. A lot. 

His soft kiss in return gives you actual heart flutters.

“I guess I don’t mind a clingy boyfriend. Especially one who is still marked with paint on a date.” You point to the streak of white at his jaw. 

He takes your hand in his, gaze dropping to look at his drink, but his smile can’t be hidden.

“Good.”

---

(c) yoongihan 2024. please do not steal, translate, repost, or whatever. stray kids belong to themselves and all idols used in this piece are just the inspiration for characters and do not in any way reflect the actual humans.

[will80sbyers]

when I listen to interviews of the Duffers or other writers they always think like I would about media stuff and the show and it's one of the things that made me believe they were really doing it at the beginning, it gave me more trust in them as professional writers because they seemed to understand how good stories should be(obv), like when Matt was offended that Millie thought Brenner was all good (I don't remember the exact context now) and he said something like "he wanted to force you to kill the cat" or when they were saying to Finn that everyone regardless of age can like to play DND, or when they talked about how and why they would kill a character or not... and all these little things they say in interviews, every time they talk about the story it checks out with my understanding of the story and how I would go about most things, and this is valid for other writers too... so with that in mind I really could never believe that they truly think Mike and El are well written as a couple that should stay together, it just goes against all logic in a "too much in your face to be casual and just bad writing" way 🤷

[homochampagne]

quinn’s in love and death stream summary: all of the lore

he described the way bert’s voice sounds towards the ending of i caught fire as “cute and sweet”

he said he has synesthesia and gave us a color for a lot of the songs. the only ones i remember are: i caught fire is red and yesterdays feelings is green

at the beginning of yesterdays feelings, quinn’s voice can be heard saying “creaks and cracks”. it turns out he was talking about a really old guitar he was playing that wasn’t very good for recording because it made noises as you played

regarding the meaning of yesterdays feelings, quinn said he couldn’t describe it.

a lot of the songs on this album were from ideas quinn came up with. he said he did background vocals on about 75% of the songs

light with a sharpened edge was a title bert came up with, quinn said he really liked that title

in 2004, while the used was working on in love and death and mcr was working on revenge, the two bands lived in the same apartment building in la and would hang out a lot. gerard would come over to quinn’s place and quinn told a story about gerard playing 3 songs from revenge for quinn in his bedroom. quinn said he remembered thinking revenge sounded very cohesive and in love and death was a lot different; it was kind of all over the place and he worried it was too pop and that they were getting too far away from the used’s original sound. he played some songs for gerard as well

quinn talked really positively about mcr, he described them as having a “vampire motorcycle gang” aesthetic back in the day. around 2003 i believe the used took mcr on tour in europe with them; quinn said he’d often film them/take pics of them from the side stage, at one point he was thinking about maybe making a music video for them of liveshow clips but that never happened. he remembers being sure that mcr would become a really huge band (they were still in bullets era at this time)

in 2004 during the writing and recording of in love and death quinn was doing mushrooms and smoking weed and he was reading a lot of philosophy books. i forget the authors name, but chapter 8 of a book he was reading that was about transferring the perspectives/teachings of eastern philosophy into a western lens was called “how to be a genuine fake”. at this time, tensions between him and bert were high, they were butting heads a lot and quinn was sick of his behaviour. he noted how bert would act around people/treat people completely differently; he’d be great to some people and horrible to others. in quinn’s room at the apartment, he handed bert the philosophy book opened to the “how to be a genuine fake” chapter and told him to read it. bert read one page and then threw it on the bed and was like “whatever”. a few days later, bert had written lyrics to a song and said it was titled “i’m a fake”

someone asked about blue and yellow and he said “yes that song’s about me”; he gave us the exact meaning of the “your hands were shaking” line. feldy and bert have both told a story about how during the recording of the first album, bert disappeared for ~2 weeks. bert said he met some girl and was gonna quit the band and whatever. (<- when he’s talking about blue and yellow in that interview, it’s one of those half-truths where like, it did happen, yes, but it’s like the irrelevant part of the larger story, which he obvs doesn’t want to talk about now. gina is a convenient fake inspiration. this section of this interview is so eyeroll inducing because he literally admits to lying about the song in the kirsten dunst part. bert has talked about quinn being the subject of blue and yellow so many times; i have very thorough citations & proof for all of the blue and yellow stuff in my fic masterguide). REGARDLESS, when bert finally showed up at feldy’s again, quinn said that he was so mad and upset that his hands were shaking. (when i say disappeared i mean DISAPPEARED like they couldn’t contact him at all). quinn said that feldy just hugged bert and was like “you can’t do that”. quinn said that at times, feldy was kind of like their dad.

as we all know, all that i’ve got is about bert’s dog david bowie that passed away by getting hit by a car, which in some roundabout way was due to the wrong plane ticket being booked for him meaning he couldn’t take bowie, so he left him with someone who was going to drive him out to wherever the band was heading. quinn said that the line “so deep that it didn’t even bleed” is a reference to the phonecall bert received from his dad who broke the news to him that bowie died, saying “it was quick, there wasn’t even any blood”

the line “i couldn’t come/you couldn’t come” in cut up angels means cum, like orgasm

sound effects and overdramatics is about sex, relationships, and drugs/addiction

feldy told quinn to listen to the beatles entire discography around this time, which he did. he said that there were definitely beatles and nirvana influences on this album. he specifically mentioned territorial pissings, and he mentioned playing a beatles riff backwards on one of the songs but i can’t remember which one :( sorry

quinn likes thursday, and he listened to full collapse a lot

when asked, he said he likes fall out boy

he still talks to mikey sometimes

someone asked if his kids know the used songs and he basically said no, and then he started talking about how his son says “skibidi” and “rizz” and “ohio” and “brainrot” and he like knew all of the lingo???? NDSJSKAKKS and then he was like “back in my day the cringe stuff we would quote was pauly shore” (i’m paraphrasing) and then he did a pauly shore impression

off-tour he would just live out of his backpack, and he rented a spare bedroom at his friends house (im assuming this was like late 2002-early 2004 because in summer 2004 they had the la apartment). he built a bed out of bricks with planks of wood on top. (……this info combined with him just sleeping on the floor of his bedroom at his parents place because there was no bed makes me think he was just used to sleeping on hard surfaces????)

he confirmed that hard to say is about kate, bert’s girlfriend who passed away during the recording of in love and death. it was a song that was added in right at the end of recording and they weren’t sure if they would keep it in. quinn said that he and his family were close to kate, because back at the beginning of the band when bert joined and quinn said he could move in with him, kate lived with them for a period of time too. quinn said that bert and kate were recovering addicts and that he left home for a while at this point because they were staying in his bedroom and sometimes it was “hard to be around them”. we know for sure that quinn sometimes did stay there with bert, because of the whole story where they were sleeping on his bedroom floor together when feldy called from norway in the summer of 2001 and blah blah blah (which he told on branden’s podcast)

towards the end of the recording of in love and death, quinn said that he and bert were not speaking to each other. finding album cover artwork became his responsibility, quinn found alex pardee and basically organized/chose all of the album artwork working with alex (who was the artist)

because we would never figure it out, he told us a secret about ocean of the sky. put on the film 2001: a space odyssey, skip to 20 minutes and 1 second from the ending and play the song tethys and it’s supposed to line up exactly to what happens on-screen. he was inspired by those rumors that you could do the same thing with the original wizard of oz and pink floyd’s dark side of the moon. the guys had been talking about 2001: a space odyssey in regards to ocean of the sky, the “ocean of the sky” meaning outer space. he said he created the song tethys in one sitting, from 9pm - 6am and his computer crashed twice. he digitally mixed it and then sent it off at 9am that morning and that was the last song on that ep.

quinn said that he’s happy bert’s sober now, but it’s “too little, too late” (his exact words)

he confirmed that bert’s struggle with addiction and his behaviour for the majority of the time quinn was in the band was what lead to quinn’s departure. it was draining, exhausting, and the 23 hours a day that they were not on stage was a “nightmare”. he says very confidently that he’s happier now. (side note: if you haven’t listened to this interview with bert about addiction/sobriety i think you should, because he gives details regarding the severity of what was happening. tw: discussion of self-harm)

when asked if there’s any chance he’ll ever play a show with the used again, he said “no”

re: the band and quinn’s frustrations about bert, quinn said he found himself “sitting on his hands” (exact words) a lot of the time and just going along with whatever was happening because he had no other means of enacting change that would actually work (paraphrased). he used a really good metaphor of letting bert “drive”, but quinn would always have “one hand on the wheel”… i feel like that’s self-explanatory

during part of this section of the stream, he got emotional and teary-eyed and said that some of it is hard to talk about

regarding some of the meaning behind quinn’s song i digress, quinn said that it’s about the difficult experience of trying to help a friend who struggles with severe depression and persistent suicidal thoughts, and how he felt that all of his efforts were futile. this seemed to be a recent experience of his. he also spoke about a similarity between this situation and being in the band, which he described as very negative and emotionally taxing when you continually try to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. for his emotional wellbeing he needed to step away (in both situations). he also clarified that the lyric is “i’m hanging by your thread” which i got wrong in my transcription. he compared the “i’m hanging by your thread” line to the heart noose.

quinn showed us the physical prototype for his book which is completely finished. he is hopeful that pre-orders will be available in mid-october through kickstarter, he is planning to make a signed book and cassette tape ep bundle which he wants us to receive before christmas (this is all tentative).

he is apparently filming a music video for his second single today (yesterday he spent building the set for it). physical versions of his ep will only be available in cassette tape form because that’s what he grew up with, he likes that they’re small and easy to display

the book has A LOT of exclusive photos in it. he showed us some pages of the book. he said that he started writing it/working on it back when he left the band as a therapeutic, cathartic hobby. aside from the written chapters, there are a lot of pages he created in photoshop that have photo collages that he would draw little pictures on and organize. he said he would work on this to process his emotions, he would cry and let himself feel angry or upset, but it ended up being a very healing project

someone mentioned that they gave him a scrapbook in 2012 (he remembered it) and he said that he still has all of the stuff that the fans gave him/the band. he would box all of it up after their tours and ship it to his house. some of this fan stuff is featured in the book

he really enjoyed the stream and he will likely do another one sometime in the near future (no date is set yet). he’d like to do a listening party for the first album and talk about the songs/behind the scenes lore like he did for this one. he’d also be open to doing a stream just about guitars. people were requesting for him to put out official guitar tabs for the used songs and he said he’ll definitely work on it now that he knows there is interest

he had literally stacks of old photos and showed us some of them which i’ll make a separate post for. at one point he was like “ohhh i can’t show you those” and skipped through a bunch which is just the most infuriatingly intriguing thing like…… i can only imagine.

this was all just written from memory bc for some insane reason recording desktop audio on obs if you have a mac is literally impossible which is crazy in 2024 but regardless i think the livestreams are more special if they aren’t recorded because you have to be there to witness it. i got the vibe that he doesn’t want them to be saved (he said “i can’t” but that’s not true), so instead of asking him in chat next time and you really really want to save it, just record it for your own personal viewing and keep it on the down low. (i’m not telling anyone what to do but i feel like re-uploading to youtube would be against his wishes (he never said this, it’s just my inference)).

if anyone who watched feels like i missed a crucial piece of lore, feel free to add XD

[hey-august]

Cus saying something about rollercoasters gave me an idea.

What do you think buggy is like if he wants to take his partner to like a fair or theme park or something of the sort. Cus, obv he would. But they're way too afraid to get on most of the rides?

He may tease, sure. That's got to be a given, no? But seeing the terrified look your face after he'd somehow coaxed you into let's say the Ferris wheel? He's holding your hand, telling you it's okay. Describing the pretty lights and stunning view as you slowly get to the top. And while it's stopped all the way up high, you actually look out. Able to relax a bit. It's not so bad. It's pretty, actually. But heights are still terrifying.

Or maybe it's a rollercoaster he had to coax you onto. "Just try it once!"

And maybe he'd regret it just a little. The constant scream right next to him. Absolute death grip on his hand.

Getting on and starting to go up was one thing. The second it sped up just a hair to get to the top is when the screaming started, the tight hold on his hand. Then the screaming got louder as it sped downwards and your hand kept one hell of a death grip on his hand. The only time the screams stopped was so you could take a breath to continue screaming. Once the ride was over though he led you to a nearby bench until you could relax.

Or maybe those teacup rides. Only scared to get on it because.. Well it's buggy. And most people you've been on that type of ride would spin it way too fast and scare the ever loving hell out of you. But he's already dragged you on enough rides and this was one you liked. So he did spin it, but made sure you were okay with the speed. Laughing and spinning it together, enjoying the more peaceful ride.

Though you two did get on it again just to go as fast as possible. Laughing and clinging onto the seat.

I feel like he'd also want to win you a prize. *Of course* it had to be one that was so fucking stupidly hard to get. But he wanted to see you smile, he always did. So he tried. And tried again. And again. And..one more time. *damnit* why was it so difficult? But the second the person who was in charge if the game became distracted with something, even for a mere second, he cheated. Hey, he wanted to get you that prize. And it so happens he can detach limbs. His hand reattaching before anyone can see of course.

Is some of this based on personal experience? Yes. I can't stand rollercoasters, they scare the shit out of me.

My personal story with my first rollercoaster was at Kentucky kingdom. Lightning run. My mother fucking counted. (Yk the count to 3) Just to get my ass on a rollercoaster. I was terrified okay? But, yes, the death grip and screaming was what I did. That was her karma. My loud ass screaming in her ear (I was on her left) and one hell of a death grip. She might have lost a little blood flow for the time being. But she never dragged me on a rollercoaster again. And she never will be able to again.

(I have written more than intended but ideas keep coming)

Heck yes! Buggy would be a MENACE with this. Taunting and goading you into going on the thrilling rides.

PUH-LEASE, only weenies skip the big rides. What's the point in going if you're not gonna ride Mr. Bones' Wild Ride? (okay, maybe skip that one)

Buggy also talks up how the rides aren't even that scary. You eventually give in because:

maybe he's right,

you don't want to miss out on a good ride,

he seems so excited, and

he's getting annoying.

Yeah, the ferris wheel wasn't terrible. A little more shaky that you expected and very high up. But you got to sit next to Buggy. He even bought (stole) you a corndog to enjoy. He ate most of it.

The roller coaster though. Buggy thought he won (what exactly? who knows) when you agreed to go, but a little worm of regret started wiggling when the car reached the apex. Buggy said it was like climbing the ship's rigging on rough waters, but this...did not feel the same. Or maybe it did and he forgot how intense that feels. Both of you had white knuckle grips on the safety bar the whole time.

The tea cup ride was fine. Better. Really nice, actually. Even when it spun wildly, you still enjoyed it. It was less of a competition and more of a cooperative sport to spin the tea cup juuuuust right. Buggy also showed off by using his hands to spin the cup while he leaned back, handless-arms behind his head.

And BIG AGREE to Buggy stealing prizes. He also cheats. A barely-noticeable fingertip knocking over bottles, nudging balls, guiding hoops. He's schmoozing with the game attendees, distracting them from all the other shady shit he's doing. Meanwhile, you stand slightly off to the side and grab whatever Buggy hands you.

Do you need a giant plush sleepy banana? Or five bunny keychains? Or more than three lanyards? Or a frog bucket hat that doesn't fit? Or a bear bucket hat that doesn't fit? Or a cat bucket hat that doesn't fit?

No. But you take them anyways.

---

I'm also right there with ya with some un-fun ride stories, cyra. 😂 Once when I was a younger kid, I CRIED on the queue for Space Mountain. SOBBING. I was scared but we were going to go on the ride. And then the HORROR - I was supposed to sit at the front. Absolutely not. Thankfully, some older teens took pity and sat in the front.

I got on the ride, continued to cry, and shrunk myself so low that my head knocked on the sides of the ride during sharp turns. It was not ideal.

On a lighter note, there was a time where I was on one of those spinning Gravitron rides. The UFO shaped one. And the ride operator would slow down the spinning and then start it right back up. They said we were almost done more than once but everything kept spinningggg. We were hostages in the UFO and it felt like forever. Honestly, I loved it but omg I felt like I was outside of my body afterwards. I was not the same person.

[mithrilhearts]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Look at me getting to this 500 years later (I'm so sorry!!) Anyway.

Thank you both so much, @cilil & @laurfilijames for sending me this ask game thingy!! I figured I'd just do it in one post, so I hope that's okay, but here we go!

I think picking my "favorite fics" of mine is like, asking a parent to pick their favorite child - not easy, in most cases I guess lol...but I will do my best and explain why! These are all based off of fics I've COMPLETED, and by no means reflects on my love and affection for the other stories I've written. I love them all for their own reasons, otherwise I wouldn't have written them.

In no particular order...

May Your Forge Burn Bright - This is THE original longfic from me. I started this back when I was creeping my way out of RP and into fanfiction, and was nothing more than an independent baby writer. (Been writing a long time, just never like this), and the story means so much to me, as well as the commentary from readers along the way. It's still my longest fic to date, and I love a good "alternate first meeting" fic. It's the OG, and you can't replace that.

Dragonhearted - The Hobbit & Beauty and The Beast are my two FAVORITE stories, and mashing them together like this was perfect for me. Dragon!Thorin is such a fun concept for me, and badass Bilbo is another. This setting just WORKS. (Also, did you know @i-did-not-mean-to had a BLANKET made for this fic???)

Kurdu 'abadaz - That's right, I finished this one just recently, and it has easily stolen my heart to being a favorite. The Fix-it fic that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to write, that went under a LOT of rehashing and had a huge overhaul in the story early on when planning. It turned out so much better than anticipated, and the love for this fic from readers/friends has been overwhelming.

Fuck Thy Neighbor - A VERY FUN ROM-COM STYLE MODERN AU!!! This really had me cackling the entire way through, and like a few other fics of mine, it spawned from a writer's ask game/tag game thing that I can't quite remember. Accidental marriage & neighbors? I love it. It's so funny, and I enjoy rereading it frequently for the laughs.

When Darkness Shines Brightest - Did you know that anything can be made into a Bagginshield Fic? Did you know that this fic spawned from a joke/conversation between @starthecozy and I and then erupted into this really original Hades/Persephone, Nightmare Before Xmas, blended style fic?? Various worlds and environments, powers over elements, and saving homes from a dragon?? The Onion Fic sprouted, and blossomed into one of my favorite stories, and I got to collaborate with Star the entire way through it, and we had SO MUCH FUN!!! Go give it a read, it's really neat!!

Honorable Mentions:

(Take Me Back To) The Night We Met - My entry for THAUC22 (partnered with the amazing @consultingpacha), and one of my FAVORITE concepts. Yet again, another "alternate meeting" style fic, featuring small kids Fili and Kili, rather than adults. What it sets up to at the end of the fic blends into the OG Hobbit story, but with a few small changes that I kind of want to explore one day in a sequel. 👀

Between Vices and Virtues - My entry for TRSB22 (partnered with @mysandwichranaway!!) First of all, I love working with Sandy, it's truly one of my favorite things on this good planet, and I can't wait to do it again - hopefully soon. Secondly, this was my take at a modern royalty AU, and learning about how to connect with the people around you. I have two sequels planned for this universe (even if this fic kind of felt like a let-down in terms of reception? but idc about that lmao) it was so fun for me. A light dusting of magic superstition in a modern au setting? Sign me up!

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

So I accidentally deleted this request but I have written it so sorry to whoever wrote it.

Request : Okok, Teen!Male!reader x Spencer Ried (platonic obvs) when reader ends up getting mixed up a crime/murder in the drug scene. They aren't the unsub but they struggle with addiction and has an ally cat type attitude so it makes it difficult to get any information out of him. Spencer is like a father figure and they start to get close, helping reader through out the case/ recovery.

I love this idea

Third person pov...

Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan arrive on scene, there is a serial killer runnng around kidnapping upstanding people then killing people by overdosing them on different drugs.

The latest victim was a mother with two children under the ages of 10, with no history of drug use she is currently the 5th victim, where they found her was in a dumpster in ohio.

"Looks like the rest of the victims" Says Derek as he kneels next to the body of Samantha Doyle. Spencer nods and looks around the scene. "As well as the dump site, he threw her away like trash." He says, as he looks he notices a boy looking no older then 15 being talked to by the police.

Confused Spence leaves Morgan and walks over to one of the police officers. "Hey excuse me, whats he doing here?" He asks nodding over at the boy and officer.

The office next to him looks over. "Oh yeah him, he's been hanging around sayin' he saw something. Don't bother with 'im he's an addict got loads of them here" he tells the agent, Spencer thanks the man but doesn't take his eyes of the teen.

The officer just sighs and leaves the boy, he was watching with intense curiosity. The boy had messy hair and dark circles under his eyes, giving the impression of a troubled soul.

Spencer's mind immediately went into profiling mode, trying to figure out the boy's story, he walked over to the boy and introduced himself, "Hi, I'm Dr. Spencer Reid. And you are?"

The young man shrugged his shoulders tapping his hand nervously. "Y/N" he says bearly over a mumble but Spencer hears him. "Well Y/N, did you see anything here?" He asked.

The young detective immediately noticed the troubled look in (Y/n)'s eyes, and he could see the fear and guilt written all over his face.

Spencer's empathetic nature kicked in, and he knew that there was more to this young man than meets the eye.

(Y/n) was like a wounded alley cat, always on edge and unwilling to trust anyone. The 15 year old didn't say anything. "How about you come to the station to talk" Says the genius.

Y/N thinks before nodding, either way they were going to make him talk might as well get it over with, soon the boy is sat in the back of thr SUV with two Agents.

They try and talk to him more but only get a few words out bef they take him to the interrogation room to talk, as Y/N sits and waits he thinks over his life.

He's been hooked on drugs since he was 12 when he was 10 his Mother died leaving him with his abusive Father, he would kick little Y/N around all day until the boy finally turned to drugs to dull the pain.

It's worked all those years and he's hooked, finally when he was 14 he ran away and had beeb living on the streets, pick pocketing people who walk past him.

He met many different people throughout the last year, not many of them were nice most were arsehole and criminals, but last night traumatised him.

He was in his usual place counting the money he managed to pick pocket of some people, when he heard something. He saw a guy dressed in dark clothes throughing something in the dumpster.

Y/N didn't bother with it, but he got curious and stuck behind a dumpster and got a pretty good look at what was happening, his E/C eyes widened in shock.

It was a body, the man was throwing her into the dumpster, Y/N ducks into the darkness when the guy turns around, he gets a good look at his face before he leaves in a truck.

It was to dark to see the number plate, Y/N walks closer to the body, her lifeless eyes stare into his dark tired ones, she looked alot like his Mother.

Shivering he closed her eyes and left to go back to his place where he sleeps and tried to forget what he saw.

The door to the room opens bringing the teen back into the real world, Spencer had told everyone to stay there thay he would handle it.

He closed the door and sat in the chair oppos the boy, Y/N wasnt ha dcuffed and coukd ove but didn't he kept sat down.

Spencer decis to take a different approach, he reaches into his pocket and takes out a pack of cards.

"Mind if I play a game of solitaire?" Spencer asked, trying to lighten the mood To his surprise, the young man slowly reached out and took the cards. As they played, Spencer asked more questions, trying to get some information about the crime and the drug scene in the area.

As he played Y/N became a little more reaced but was still on guard and keeping Spencer at arms lengt.

Y/N still didn't reveal much, but Spencer could tell he was holding back. He also noticed the subtle tremors in Y/Ns hands and the needle marks on his arm.

He soon realized that Y/N was not the unsub, but rather a lost soul struggling with addiction and trauma, this brought him back to when he was addicted to delaudid.

After a few games Y/N began opening up about what he sawast night, he told him everything he remembered, this helped the team alot tk catch the bastard.

Throughout the case Without judgment, Spencer offered to help Y/N get clean and get out of the dangerous world of drugs. With the help of Y/N the team manages to catch the killer sooner than they had hoped.

As the case progressed, Spencer and the H/C teen grew closer. They spent long nights talking and playing cards, and Spencer could see the potential in the young man. He was intelligent and quick-witted, but his addiction was holding him back.

Y/N was also hesitant to trust anyone, but he slowly opened up to Spencer, after having an awful relationship with his bio father seeing him Spencer as a father figure scared him, Spence became more invested in the teens recovery and helping him turn his life around.

With the help of the team, they were able to track down the murder suspect, Y/N even played a crucial role in gathering information, using his 'alley cat attitude' to his advantage.

As the case came to a close, Spencer and Y/N celebrated with a game of cards and a heartfelt conversation. Y/N thanked Spencer for his help and guidance, and Spencer promised to always be there for him.

From that day on, Y/N focused on his recovery with the support of his new family at the BAU. He still had his struggles, but with Spencer by his side, he knew he could overcome them.

Spencer, on the other hand, learned a valuable lesson about not judging a book by its cover. Y/N may have been mixed up in the drug scene, but he was more than just an addict. He was a survivor.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot, slowly getting through these requests. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count: 1312

[rowanisawriter]

writer q&a

thanks for the tag @luvwich i love talking about myself lmao

tagging… @mashamorevvna @yourworsttotebag @swordbisexual no pressure

When did you start writing?

10 or 11 handwriting a three part series in notebooks lol i still remember the plot of my first book which was basically xmen AU. fic writing also started around that time

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

not really, my writing and my taste in reading usually align. even poetry which i read a lot of but don’t write, somehow still sneaks into my writing because i like making things read pretty

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

idk about fic but for published authors i like sally rooney and her character work, and i also love t. s. eliot’s rhythmic style in poetry, im always trying to emulate them

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

i have a toddler to the answer so this for now is my phone on the couch or in my bed in the middle of the night lmao. i’ve learned how to write under weird circumstances, but hopefully once she gives back some of the mental capacity she takes from me daily then i’ll sit at a table or something

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

can’t do it easily lol it comes to me in visions, usually after i read something or see a piece of art but if it’s not there it’s not there

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

i write a lot about religion… no that’s not surprising…. i also write a lot about love… that’s not surprising either lol

What is your reason for writing?

i like stories a lot, and i like being praised, so writing stories and having people read them checks two boxes for me lol

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

all comments are precious, but comments where people find something that i didn’t consciously put into a fic those are my favorite comments. i put a lot of myself into everything i write, sometimes i write things i don’t think about, when someone points it out it feels very personal (good)

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

hope i don’t come across as insane, i want to be aloof and interesting but then people find me on tumblr and learn the truth

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

hopefully emotion, i focus a lot on that instead of setting or plot most of the time so if i get emotion right then that’s good, as long as i can make someone feel something then they’re compelled to continue reading (conversely when i am reading something and don’t feel any emotional connection to the thing then i put it down)

How do you feel about your own writing?

i like it very much, it’s the exact thing i want to read, and it was a very long road getting here to my true voice and style. i reread my own work constantly i really like it

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

i can only write for myself, the motivation to write is only there if it’s something i want to write, even challenges and prompts i struggle with because there is some aspect of “this isn’t truly my idea” that i struggle with. i’ve written things that just aren’t popular (weird ship, quiet fandom, etc) but i wrote it anyway because i wanted to. obvs i want to be read otherwise i wouldn’t post online but i have a good audience now so usually no matter what i write it does get read anyway, so may as well just write what i want lol

[leslutdepointedulac]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Thank you for sending this! Ngl all of my fics are my babies to some extent and I do have a couple of fics that I would love to add to here but they're not posted yet so I can't lmao. But these are some of my particular favourites that I've posted so far.

Drunken Matrimony ~ General | Louis/Lestat

This is just a really soft, fluffy little fic that has a special place in my heart. They deserve to have sweet moments like this, away from any drama and theatrics. I got cute aggression when I wrote this, it's too cute.

Hē Seirḗn ~ Explicit | Lestat/Armand & Louis

This is to date one of my all time favourite fics I've written so far. I feel like most people, if not everyone, knows that SIren Louis is my scary daughter who I love more than anything in this world. The whole concept of her was only supposed to be for this one fic, nothing special, certainly nothing that I ever planned on revisiting. But I love Siren Louis so much that I just had to bring her back again and I will continue to do so. I've even created whole entire lore surrounding my sirens because of her and it's now a fully developed universe. I could add the other siren au as well but this one started it all, hence why I went with it. Sorry, i'm rambling, I just really love my sirens lmao.

Experimentations ~ Mature | Louis/Lestat

I had a lot of fun exploring a canon compliant way to give the vampires a good time. It's good to let Louis let go and give himself over to his pleasure, I love that for him. He deserves it.

The Long Road ~ Teen and Up | Louis/Armand & Louis/Lestat

This is a fic that comes from my fanon theory as to how and why Louis ends up at Trinity Gate. I've thought about this an awful lot and it's really sad. I definitely upset myself while writing this but I felt the need to get it out there, so here it is. It's a fic that I hold very close to my heart, I love it a lot, even though it gives me the morbs to dwell on.

Treasured Finds ~ General (currently) | Louis/Lestat/Armand

So this fic is a multi-chapter fic and is still being updated, but I thought I'd add it here because I'm obsessed with it. Kinda like with my siren au, this wasn't supposed to become a Whole Entire Thing, but the story I want to tell with this wouldn't fit into the 4-5k words that I originally intended for it to. I have so many plans in store for this fic and who knows how long it will be by the time it's done lmao. What I do know though, is that it will most likely end up going from a general rating to an explicit for horny reasons and I can't wait.

[obsidianpen]

So sorry Pen. I think you must be fed up with all the Harrymort vs Tomione submissions, and obv you don't have to post this, that's only my take. I like the Tomione pairing, though of course not so much as to read everything Tomione, only the fics that address it in a convincingly manner, that's thought up, profound and well written. I don't like Harrymort as much, I think because in the past I read so much m/m fanfic that I've had my fill now and I find it difficult to read m/m fics anymore: I liked them because they avoided all the het cliches and portrayed less predictable and more conflicted relationships, but over time they seemed to me to become tropey as well, ofc it's not so, a good story is a good story, maybe I'm only saturated with m/m fics and now I find more compelling f/m stories with complex and believable female characters, they are so difficult to find! Buuut all this said I've no problem admitting: No Glory is a wonderful, dark, suspenceful fic, which I also follow because I love the way you write, and the Tom/Voldemort and Harry pairing is a lot more grounded in canon than the Tomione pairing, which I prefer, but admittedly makes no sense canon-verse and to work has always to be justified by brittle devices (almost always time-travel in ways which should be impossible canonically). A f/m pairing which makes sense in canon is Tom/Voldemort and Ginny, but I don't very much like her character because duh, it's non existent in the books, and also I couldn't find fics about them that appealed to me.

You’re not wrong, I am tired of responding to all the discourse and seeing it get washed up on my page - honestly I’m only responding to this for the last bit. Hard disagree from me about Ginny’s character being non-existent in the books! She gets shit on so much in the fandom and it makes me sad. Ginny had some real character development in the books, it’s even visible from the POV of Harry, who is pretty clueless when it comes to his love interests (I also feel like Cho gets a really bad rep!). Ginny went from super shy, awkward, and all around embarrassing fan girl to a cool, breezy, quidditch player who snagged a personal invite to the slug club before term even started, something plenty of other students never managed. She came up with the name for Dumbledore’s Army, she said a few things to Harry that made him rethink his life (“The thing about growing up with Fred and George… is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.” and, of course, when reminding Harry that she was possessed by Voldemort many times years ago and Harry says I forgot, “lucky you.”). She called Blaise a poser, Percy a prat, Ron and Lavender a pair of eels or something when Ron’s being a hypocrite - she’s got nerve. She doesn’t get as much screen time as Hermione and people hate her, I think, because she got Harry in the end, but like her or not, she’s a definitely got a personality!

and yes - canonically, gin’n’tonic has much more going for it than tomione does. I’ve always thought there’s a lot of potential for a super dark Ginny/Voldemort thing too, like why didn’t LV kidnap her in book 7 and use that to flush Harry out? It couldn’t have been too hard to figure out who Harry had been openly dating and use that against him… 🤷‍♀️

[radfemsiren]

Honestly it might just a be a relatable thing as I am a wlw myself, but I can only find wlw romance films, well written. Obv not all and most are by fetishising men, but they feel like they are genuinely thought through and deep. But most mlm romance is just a cash grab. I always found them very repeptive. And obv most straight is misogynistic unfortunately.

I'm not all that into romance myself as I love being single and alone. But I just can't enjoy like 90% of the romance media out there. Maybe I just have high standards?

I used to be really into bl when I was younger and for some reason it still didn't click that 2 women can be together too. I don't know why. But I eased up into gl and got comfortable with my sexuality. And now that's the type of romance I find myself thinking is well written.

No fr, when it comes to gl vs bl, it’s definitely quality versus quantity. Looking back at the shit that was popular in my time 🤢 Me and a bunch of girls were into Killing Stalking when we were freshmen and I look back and think, wtf were we reading?? Doesn’t work as a romance, doesn’t work as a crime thriller, doesn’t have a good art style, doesn’t have interesting characters… yet still thousands of readers, huh?!

We’re pretty similar. I feel super picky about romance media too, as someone who prefers the single life. Ive always found it less interesting than other kinds of over arching plots, like coming of age, war, mysteries… I like it as a b plot, something sweet for the background. I always find it hard to bring myself to care about love stories… probably is hypocritical of me to try and judge romance as Not a lover gal, more of a chronic Three-months and I’m bored and over every relationship gal 😅

[hoodiedoodles]

i wish Lostbelt 6 and Lostbelt 7 were swapped because it feels like LB7 was penultimate compared to 6.

Lostbelt 7 is very much "big bad guy blows shit up and it's a really hard fight to stop him" which parallels Babylonia's Tiamat in functionality, but it's also kind of a basic premise? Like obvs LB7's story isn't "basic", I hear it's quite complex and very good.

But LB6 is about narratives as a concept. LB6 is a story about stories-- it is a self-fullfilling entity. By existing it embodies it's own ideas.

Given how FGO is fundamentally about "the stories of humanity-- stories of love and hate" manifested both literally through Servants being heroic fables and conceptually through the various Singularities/Lostbelts being "forgotten stories of humanity", concluding with a "story about stories" feels very appropriate.

Who better to be the final boss than Oberon-Vortigern, the Devouring Worm, he who hates you for the stories you've destroyed?

Who better to fight than the Tam Lin of the Round Table, circling all the way back around to the narrative nature of Artoria from the original FSN?

Who better to develop as a character than Mash, someone who's stood with you all this time?

Obvs it wouldn't be that easy. Part of the reason LB6 is so good is because it separates itself almost completely from the rest of the Part 2 plotline. It might be a Lostbelt but all the Lostbelt concepts are absent. Even the Tree of Emptiness has been cut down by the time we get there. If LB6 was the finale they'd have to shoehorn a ton of Alien God fuckshittery in there to tie the story up, which would compromise the overall quality.

But still, Oberon is the final boss in my heart. My man is too well written to not be the last enemy at the gate.