#it's the quickest way to embarass him

[bobaboob]

kaeya wears peacock feathers in his hat. no one knows where he procures them from considering they live in idaho

[pt.3 of my vampire cowboy diluc au ft. kaeya]

[the-trinket-witch]

How about some Floyd X You Fluff?

(Cw: suggestive, possibly? Accidental eel-riding)

Floyd had always seemed a lot more…physical in his expressions. That much you could deduce. Most of the time it was elbows resting on shoulders, exemplifying your differences in height or fingers running through your hair. There was even a begrudging acceptance that if homework was being done in the Monstro Lounge, it would usually end up with it being done in the lap of one Floyd Leech. It would have been easy to assume, because of everyone else’s excentricities, that this was Floyd’s way of showing friendship. You learned to smile through the squeezings, sometimes actually finding them a bit soothing on The Bad Days. It was definitely curious, though, why he seemed to take such an interest in you, especially after Azul's Overblot. 

The thought would keep popping up as you watched Floyd bobbing around in the lake; it was one of the last nice days of November before the forecast told of snow. Jade wanted to hike the mountains before snowfall, but that wasn't your thing, so it was just you and Floyd enjoying the water one last time before winter. Floyd had since made the lake home in his eel form, undulating around almost in a display of showing off. You two made conversation about a few things, but finally the urge to join overtook. You were given at some point, a small bottle-a water breathing potion-and chugged it down with a shudder at the taste. The motion caught Floyd’s attention, which drew him over to your position on the dock. The boards felt surprisingly toasty as you prostrated to get to the eel's eye level.

“What’dya drink there, Shrimpy?” Floyd asked.

“Just a potion of water-breathing, You looked like you were having fun and-” you yawned a bit, immediately retracting at the embarassing display. “I think the ‘sunbathing’ is having an opposite effect on me than it usually has on reptiles. A swim might wake me up.  Once the potion sets in I’ll-”

He didn’t give you an opportunity to finish as Floyd snatched at your arms, yanking you off the dock and into the drink. Any sounds nature made above are quickly muffled in the water. The tension of the water stopped you, leaving you to float upside down. You couldn't see Floyd, even with the water being surprisingly clear. You drew in a breath to test if the potion had taken effect. You were able to draw breath, thankfully. But now to go looking for the mer-eel. You tried calling out but all that came out were bubbles. The rush of something darting behind you drew your attention,  but by the time you spun around to see, it was gone. The quickest way to draw the eel out was to disengage and make for the surface. How unfortunate. With your attention directed towards the surface, you couldn't have seen the large flat tail snaking its way around your waist until it cinched and thrust you back down. Looking back to the other end of the tail around you was Floyd, grin wide and toothy as ever, heading for darker waters.  The coil of muscle around your torso would tighten whenever you'd try wriggling free, so you could only wait til Floyd found the depth suitable to let you go. 

Once unbound, you could were able to finally demand, albeit through a cloud of bubbles,"Floyd, what are you doing? You could have asked."

Floyd in response seemed to yawn, before replying with actual clarity, "but seeing your face was a lot more fun~ besides," he lunged out, pinning you to his chest. He 'sat' upright, letting a slick eel tail rest between your legs. A finned arm snaked to the small of your back, further pinning you to his torso. He combed through your hair with this free hand; his claws being able to easily palm your head. A sound creaked from his lips, clicking and rumbling that reminded you of the not-human vocal cords in his throat. Was it a giggle? "See? That face you're makin' is great." You weren't even aware you were making a face.

This was….quite the compromising position. Being cradled in the lap in an eel always on the cusp of laughter. A predatory grin split his face, barely inches from yours. Was this part of some mating ritual? Playing with food? The heat pooling in your gut really pined for it being the former. 

"Hehe~ you'd been yawnin' all day, I figured you were comin' on to me. Just reciprocating~" Floyd purred. "Ain't gotta be coy now, nobody’s gonna see." That grin began to feel increasingly more hungry.

So that was it. It had been a very long day at the end of a very long week. Any and everything took away precious sleep. It was only natural you would be yawning all day. But the heat in your cheeks couldn't be allowed to be seen. You hid your face in the mer's chest, his closeness affording you chance to hear Floyd's heartbeat. There's a bit of reassurance in hearing it flutter the same way you felt your own. 

"I'm sorry-Ive just been super tired lately. I had no idea."

"Huh? Awe, man~ I was hoping it was. Can I still squeeze ya, at least?" He didn't wait for an answer before encasing you in a tight embrace, his tail folding up and further pushing you into his chest, and hips. The way his tail cut through the water felt a lot more than just simple locomotion, if only because of your position in his lap. Maybe it was all part of this whole ploy.

"I…didn't know you felt that way. This is so…sudden. I thought…" 

"C'mon-we can smell ya moving around campus, ya don't think I can smell what goes on, every time I get to have ya like this?" Floyd smiled with too much knowing behind his eyes. His eyes seemed to glow in the depths; it seemed a toss-up whether the look was of longing, or hunger. Another buck of his tail under you, for punctuation. 

Thoughts flooded in between your ears, trying to find the through-line or recall how else you could have known. He had been quite clingy, lately, especially once he got your face flushing red from his teasing. Maybe those lingering touches were more than you first gave credit for. And, for all the bone-creaking squeezes and comedic jabs at you, there was part of you that…actually liked it. His mood-swings never seemed to bother as much as others; he would seek you out in his upswings. His downturns were a toss up, though; he would either avoid to not make you target of his frustration, or find you like a lighthouse in a typhoon. 

"Shrimpy's not real quick on the draw there. I thought I was being pretty blunt but about it, didn’t think I’d have to say it outright." His face turned slightly, a bit of a pout starting, "unless, you like somebody else…"

A smile of your own began pulling up your cheeks. You offered a reassuring shake of your head, there wasn't anyone else you had sought after, nor anyone you. It caused an eruption of laughter out of the eel, a triumphant crow.

"Haha I've got a Shrimpy~" Floyd hollered, before nuzzling into the crook of your neck. It was soft, even with the faint pressure of teeth keeping you wary of the inherent danger. This must have been what a Floyd-brand kiss felt like. You could sit there floating all night, but then, he didn't need surface air. And the release of bubbles from your lungs reminded you that you did. Floyd could feel you tense in his grip, releasing a lot of air. You squirmed a bit before patting at his chest. He looked over to see you pointing upwards, cheeks now puffed out with your last remaining supply of air. Floyd just laughed, before grabbing your chin. So commanding; slick claws pinching your chin and making you keep his gaze. He locked lips with his human, blowing in fresh air to tide you over until breaking the surface. 

You two bobbed towards the shore, where Floyd effortlessly hoisted you up to the dock. You struggled, in turn, when hooking your arms under Floyd's to help bring him up to land. And there you two sat: drying off under burgeoning stars, now partners. 

"You…still like me that way even knowing now that I was just tired all day?"

"Mmhh, yeah-I think you got a lot more interesting things about you I wanna find out about~" His fingers snaked along your leg in an attempt to draw another reaction.

[artwithoutblood]

Boo <3 What's the most extreme stuff besides his mind breaking eldritch shit that Erebus has ever wrote? Did Genesis have a glamrock phase and if so what were the highest platforms they ever wore? If you wanted to embarass Aeron, what's the easiest and quickest way to do so? If that's not possible, what's the quickest way to make them blush?

erebus has witnessed war. anything about the horrors of war is more mind breaking than any eldritch play, because war is done by humans. in his eyes, at least. but maybe he's bias. he writes a lot of fiction, but archival work sometimes requires first and secondhand accounts of historical events. he's seen things that make him prefer the comfort of his library.

genesis has participated in the rise and fall of every music genre. perhaps the afflicted will find photographs of him from 1972 in 6 inch heels and drunk off his ass at a bar, with hair tossed about and glitter on his face. one things for certain, though: the bright orange hair fit right in.

aeron is embarrassed by touch. they're very touchy (not on purpose). touching them back, even if it's as simple as a grab at the wrist or a movement of hair, will embarrass them to no end. they'll be confused at first. "oh darling, is everything alright?" when you say yes, that nothing is wrong, that's when the embarrassment settles in.

[rek1s-headband]

hi! figured i’d drop a request for you :))! Maybe some general bf hcs for reki and langa? Just in general how they would be as a boyfriend or how they would act in a relationship?

Hi!! Thank you so much for your request, I’ve been excited to do one of these. I hope you enjoy it!

➯ random boyfriend headcannons

➯ characters: Reki Kyan and Langa Hasegawa x gn reader

➯ warnings: none! Just some fluff for these two boys:)

Reki:

-Literally the most enthusiastic person you’ve ever seen. He’d be happy to just sit in silence with you because come on, it’s YOU. There’s no one he’d rather be wasting the hours away with.

-Your biggest hype man, EVER. You post something on Instagram? Get ready for a flood of comments, all from him. You could put your phone down for two minutes after posting, and you’ll come back to 99+ notifications of just reki commenting along the lines of “woah suddenly I’m on one knee” “DAMNNNN” and many, many more.

-Never leave your phone unattended around him. He won’t snoop, but be prepared to come back to your camera roll flooded with just zoomed in pictures of his face, his mouth, his eye, ANYWHERE. Mf is spamming your whole phone with pictures of him for you to come back to.

-He has to always be touching you in some way. Whether it’s holding your hand, your waist, a casual arm around your shoulder, there has to be something. He’ll put his hand on your ass sometimes while you walk in public.

-Honestly doesn’t even think PDA is anything out of the ordinary. Like, you’re his s/o??? Yes you’re in his lap, yes you’re in the middle of the skatepark, so what? You’re his, and he’s happy he can make everyone aware of that.

-I saw a post on here that said he would peel stickers off fruit and stick them to peoples’ foreheads, and I fully stand by this. However, it doesn’t just stop at fruit stickers. Anything remotely sticky, whether it’s tags from clothes, tape from a food box, even random sequins and bits of glitter he finds around, it’s immediately being stuck to some part of your face.

-Loves casual dates. Stopping by food stalls, browsing in clothes and game stores for a few hours, and skating around with you until it’s time to go home is a dream for him. Be prepared for day-long dates, because he will clear his entire schedule just to spend the day with you.

-His family adores you. His mother is always goading him to bring you over more, complaining that she misses her "honorary son/daughter/child". His sisters love you too. Any time you come over there’s immediately three tiny bodies shooting at you, grabbing you by the waist and dragging you over to wherever they’re playing. Reki tries to drag you away, wanting to have you for himself, but you always try and stay for at least five or ten minutes. Secretly, he loves that you get along so well with his siblings, going soft at the thought of how you would act with children of your own.

-He loves playing video games with you. Sitting in his lap, the two of you could spend hours switching from game to game. One minute you could be burning down a village in Minecraft, the next complaining while Reki whoops your ass in Mario Kart. His mom brings you food for your breaks between games, and she’ll even stay for a few minutes to talk to you while Reki shifts underneath you, glowing red from embarassment.

-If you can’t skate, he would beg to teach you. If you accept, he goes all out. He’ll make you your own customised board just for practicing, making sure it’s absolutely perfert for you to learn on. But if you can skate, get ready for endless races and competitions to see who can nail a new trick the quickest.

-Adores when you come to S to support him. He loves looking into the crowd and seeing you there cheering him on before he goes into a beef. If he wins, he’ll race over to where you are in the crowd, picking you up and spinning you around, kissing you without a care in the world. However, if he loses he’s thankful you’re always there to pick him back up and make him feel better afterwards.

-Loves cleaning you up after a big fall, kissing your bruises and cuts better. He’ll carefully wrap each injury with care, telling you how brave you are, no matter how small the cut. Secretly, he loves when you baby him after he falls himself. Seeing you wipe away the blood from a new cut and place a small plaster on it with such tenderness melts his heart in a way only you could.

-Speaking of plasters, this man has one for every occasion. Princesses, pirates, aliens, cats, dogs, sparkles, stripes, you name it, he’s got it.

-The type to sneak you out at two in the morning to get a slushee with him. Honestly, he’s up so late making boards for people he just has no perception of time.

-Spams your phone with TikToks or other funny things that reminds him of you. It could be a very specific thing, or a flower or cloud. If he thinks of you when he sees it(which is fairly often), it gets sent to you.

-Talks with his hands a lot. He’s a very expressive talker, so when he’s telling you a story it feels like you’re right there in the story with him.

-Please just kiss him. His cheeks, his forehead, his hand, his shoulder, his temples, his lips. Anywhere, he’ll melt under you. Mf is touch starved to the max.

-Always knows how to make you laugh. His laugh is infectious, it could get you out of your darkest moods.

-Sleeps with his head on your chest, and one hand in your shirt little perv.

-His social media is like a SHRINE for you. His highlights, his posts, his stories, EVERYWHERE. He’s just so proud to be able to call you his that he wants the whole world to know.

-Kisses in the rain while you run home, skateboards in your hands after the weather forecast failed you once again. He’s just so happy in the moment that he can’t contain himself, so he’s pulling you into him in the pouring rain, kissing you hard while your hair gets drenched.

-You don’t need to steal his clothes, he will literally give them to you because “you just look so cute wearing them”. Occasionally, he’ll take one of your hoodies, and even if it doesn’t exactly fit him, he’ll still keep it near him while he sleeps so he can keep your scent close to him.

Langa:

-This man is so oblivious to obvious hints, but still manages to pick up on the smallest of details? It’s incredible, honestly. He could describe the exact colour of your eyes with the most insane detail, but he still won’t notice when you try and hint that you like him in the first place!

-You two have a bit more of a low-key relationship, but you’ll make your usual appearance in his Instagram posts, or on his Snapchat story with a casual caption like a simple heart, or “my love<3”

-Not very big on PDA, not because he doesn’t like it, but because he doesn’t think of it. However, when he does feel like he’s being too physically distant, he’ll link pinkies with you as you walk along, or rest his head on your shoulder while you watch a video on your phone.

-His mom adores you, which is why Langa despises bringing you to his house. You always seem to leave with seven of his baby photos from his time snowboarding in Canada, a new recipe from his mother that you complimented, another one of his hoodies, and more miscellaneous stuff that you don’t even know how it ended up in your bag. He has a little shelf in your room specifically for this random stuff, and he always adds to the collection when he comes to your house. He’ll leave a keyring, a small toy, a Polaroid, anything honestly.

-Loves dates that you can experience. The movies, aquariums, museums and the zoo are common dates for the two of you to go on, but other than that, he adores going skateboarding with you. He’s been improving, and he loves when you notice little things he’s been picking up on, whether it be a new trick or simply how he balances himself on the board.

-Adores old Disney movies. Yall will binge a ton of them in one day, having full-blown musicals in Langa’s living room. When any of the romantic songs come on, like “So this is Love” from Cinderella, Langa will stand up and offer his hand to you, as the two of you waltz around his sitting room, humming the tune of the song.

-Study dates are frequent with the two of you. If you happen to stay up late studying and fall asleep on each other, his mother will cover the two of you with a blanket, tidying some of your books and leaving with a smile, happy with the knowledge you were making her son the happiest he’s been in quite a while.

-Slow dancing in the kitchen while you cook is a regular. When a particularly sappy love song comes on while he stirs the pot, he’ll turn around and hold you close to him, twirling you around the kitchen.

-Reki constantly jokes that he is a third wheel, poking fun at the two of you, Cherry and Joe, and Shadow and “his little girlfriend back at the flower shop”. He’ll hang out of Miya, whining about them having to stick together since they’re the only two “lone wolves”. He’ll usually get a well-earned thump into the back of the head from Miya, but it’s still funny to watch the whole thing go down.

-Tends to be shy when giving you clothes, so instead of asking you to wear them he’ll leave them out in places he knows you’ll find them, or he’ll come up behind you and plop it in your lap, murmuring about how cute it would look on you.

-Please do this man’s makeup. He will sit so still for you, waiting patiently while you dab eyeshadow at his eyes, trying not to blink so you don’t mess up his mascara. He’ll sit there mesmerised for a few minutes, taking in how he looks, and simply whisper “you do this every day?”

-Evem though he’s not a very openly affectionate person, he is stuck to your hip behind closed doors. He’ll lie in your lap for hours, staring up at you while you mess with his hair, pulling it into little plaits and pigtails.

-I can’t even describe how the two of you sleep. It’s simply a mass of limbs, and no one knows exactly what belongs to who. Somehow one of yall will end up upside down, and-why is Langa on the floor??

-He could talk about his time in Canada for hours, and you’d just lie on his chest and listen to him. Every once in a while he’ll look down at you to see if you’re still listening, and his heart will melt a little every time he sees you staring back up at him, eyes wide with interest.

-This man NEVER gets jealous. You’d literally have to cling to another man for it to click in his brain that Oh. He doesn’t like that.

-He’s not big on texting, but if you call him he will stay on that call with you for hours, even after the two of you fall asleep.

-Whenever he falls(which is quite often), you’ll always have plasters on hand to help fix him up. He always flushes bright red when you kiss his cuts better, and never knows just what to do with himself afterwards.

-When he skates against tough opponents, you’ll always give him a kiss for good luck. Of course, this doesn’t stop you worrying, but you know Langa wouldn’t go out of his way to get injured. And if he does, well, at least he’ll have you there to kiss his bruises better.

[mandaloriangf]

I’ve watched this vid about Ted Cruz and the way everyone in his own party genuinely hates his guts honestly kinda funny? It has little to do with idealogy (although part of it is him being a heartless contrarian, going for the most idioticaly evil thing whenever possible) he’s just that much of an irritating asshole in person. He’s the Mike Love of politics.

Seriously, read this, all from republicans:

„There are a lot of good candidates-I like nearly all of them. Except Cruz.“

Bob Dole

I hate Ted Cruz and I think would take a cyanide if he ever got the nomination.“

Peter King, Congressman

(About that time Cruz opposed a UN treaty on rights of people with disabilities, when Dole came to senate on his wheelchair to lobby for it)

„It was the most embarassing day in my time in the senate, to force Bob Dole to watch that.“

John McCain

"If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the senate and the trial was at the senate, nobody would convict you."

Lindsay Graham, senator

„The quickest way for a meeting to end would for Ted to come in. People would want out of that meeting. People wouldn’t go to a meeting if they knew he would be there. …That’s exactly what he was: A big asshole.“

Anonymous aide to Bush’s 2000 campaign (Cruz started his career as one)

Lucifer in the flesh... I have democrat friends and republican friends, but I have never worked with more miserable son of a bitch in my life“

John Boehner, Speaker of the House

„I just don’t like the guy.“

George Bush

crazy how he’s still in office (or alive) given how hated he is by literally everyone

[vinylhazza]

could you write a blurb about grayson wanting to shave your legs in the shower?

this is really soft nonny 🥰

maybe you’re so tired from work and he forced you to take a shower because even with the urge to get up and feel that warm water rinsing you off after a long drawn out day of interviews, phone calls, and meetings - you couldn’t get your legs to move in the direction of the bathroom on your own accord.

it’s him carrying your limp body from the bed to bathroom counter where he sets you down only to start the shower, the water ricochetting off the tiled shower floor and up onto the glass of the door. he’s right back to wrap his arms around snug to wait for the water to heat up. your body longs for that warm water, but you know once you get under that shower head you won’t want to move a muscle.

you were right. as soon as that balmy fall of water beads onto your tense muscles you’re done for. he’s standing close behind you, running his hands up and down your arms, working at those joints by your neck that just can’t seem to losen up. he’s squeezing shampoo into his hands to lather up your hair, massaging your scalp which elicits a purr-like sound from your own lips, something that makes him smile. he hates to see you so exhausted, even if he’s proud of you for how hard you work. your work ethic keeps him motivated if he’s being honest and sometimes he wants to take care of his hard working girl. even if that includes washing your hair and washing you off in the shower.

he notes your sigh of disdain, pausing with his hands still a scrubbing in your hair to lean his head forward to rest on your shoulder.

tomorrow was finally your day off, something you’ve been waiting for all week. you’d both planned to go the beach early in the morning, maybe have a walk along the shore, slip in for a swim when it isn’t so crowded - just the two of you and the rising sun against a blue sky. considering it would be early, you wanted to shave your legs the night before, or at least that’s what you planned on doing before you got so drained at work it’s a miracle you made it home in one piece. now the idea sounds like the most unappealing thing you can think of.

“what’s wrong?” he hums, hands lightly scratching at your scalp still.

he’s good at that, being aware of your mannerisms and knowing when something isn’t quite right in that beautiful head of yours. he’s always been that way. it was nice to have someone be so in tune.

another sigh, “i just um...” you pause, looking down at your prickly legs, “i don’t want to go to the beach tomorrow with hairy legs, but that’s just...a lot of work right now.”

your admittance softens him up a bit, knowing how annoyed you get when you’re too tired to function. all he knows you well enough by now that he knows when you say something sounds like a lot, it’s a hard no. you can’t. end of story. you’d always been that way even as a child.

a pause then, only the sound of water pattering against the floor hits your ears. for a second you’re utterly embarrassed that you care about such a trivial thing when grayson is the one person you’re most comfortable with - but you can’t help the blush creeping up your cheeks. you know how it must look, that you’re being so lazy he has to carry you from room to room like an infant, but if one only knew how exhausted you truly were - they would understand that every step took a bit more of you than the last.

“you know i can do it for you,” he mumbles, peppering kisses over the expanse of your shoulder blades.

“shave my legs?”

a nod from behind you

“i can’t ask you to shave my legs grayson,” you scoff, wiggling under his plush lips, “that’s ridiculous.”

“you’re not asking,” he pays you words no mind, just reaches behind him to grab the razor and shaving cream from the nook in the wall, snapping the cap off and spraying a dollop in his hand, “i’m offering.”

“i’m sure i can just do it before we leave gray, i’m serious it’s fine,” you tell him - stepping back and into the rush of water from the shower head, your head leaned back, the water rinsing the suds from your hair.

he gives you a pointed look then, smooth his hair back with one hand while he waits for you to look at him.

rubbing the cream between his hands calmly, he’s tilting his head in an attempt to tell you to take a seat on the built in bench he had built in for whatever reason. you had made an offhand joke one day about building a bench in the shower and low and behold, there was just the bench you had mentioned, specious and surprisingly comfortable.

“but you’re not going to have to do that, because your boyfriend who loves you very much and wants you to be relaxed before your weekend starts is going to do it for you, right?” he tuts with a softness in his voice, similar to one you would use with a child. on any other day it would irritate you, but now it just gives you a sense of comfort.

you shake you head with a scoff, not having enough energy to do much else but watch him.

he says nothing more, only focuses on the task at hand. he figures it can’t be that hard, he’s shaved his face, and maybe his legs once out of curiosity. you’re sat patiently watching him lift your leg up and rest on his own thigh, only to smooth the white fluffy cream on your skin . you cringe at the stubble he must be feeling, but his face never hints at discomfort or disgust. if he felt anything he didn’t show it.

watching him slide the pink razor along your skin with no complaint, no qualm, no teasing, no fuss - up and down strokes to make sure he got all of the spots...it made your heart flutter in your chest. with his technique there are sure so be a few razor bumps - but you’d take that small price to pay over having to do it yourself when you can barely keep your eyes open to watch the fluid movement of his hands. he was so gentle with you, checking over the spots with his finger like a child unsure of his actions.

you tilt your chin up to smile up at him fondly for a moment when he’s focused on the razor, feeling a sense of safety you haven’t really ever felt in any relationship. what other man would sit you down after a long day of work and shave your legs for you? surely none of the other jackasses that you’ve dated in the past.

“isn’t so bad huh?” he smirks at you, holding your leg still while he shaved the last few parts of your skin by your ankle.

“i guess not...” you’re still blushing naturally, but for a different reason.

“i told you from the very start you don’t have to be embarassed around me,” he murmured right up against your lips, leaving the quickest peck against the plush skin before pulling away with his forehead resting against yours, “i got you.”

he means it. he’s always meant it. every tender touch, ever kiss, every kind gesture, he really means it and you know with the sincerety in his eyes. even when he rinses your legs off with the water that’s cooled off from spending way too much time swaying back and forth in his embrace. he takes the time to make sure there is no white residue before he’s setting down the razor and placing his lips right on yours. it’s a simple kiss, no more than a few seconds, but it’s filled with emotion and content, something you hadn’t really felt until grayson walked into your life out of the blue.

you don’t need to say thank you, but try to attempt anyway only to have him sush you. when he guides you slowly from the shower, his hands swipe a towel over your arms and legs. he slips some sweats on and tucks you into one of his t-shirts, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist to carry you into the bedroom where you will fall asleep with him brushing his fingers through your damp hair and the sound of his voice talking you into a slumber.

[lihikainanea]

Ok, but what about tiger and billy boy both being drunk as hell and can’t keep their paws off of one another? 🤟🏻

This is like...mmmm, this is the good shit.

So like, look--we’ve had tiger drunk as a skunk at his front door, ready to get freaky. We’ve had drunk Bill, handsy as fuck but genuinely confused and thinking maybe he dreamed up their whole dynamic.

But the two of these idiots, drunk together? Oh my god, the mayhem.

I was on a bit of a wedding kick with these two last summer, only because I had so fucking many to attend (groan) and I kind of low key think this would happen there?

Listen, I will never ever get this image of Bill disco-dancing to September by Earth Wind and Fire out of my mind, while tiger spins around him. I think this is a good base to build off of, because so much can happen here.

Listen, the wedding is late. At least the reception is, because receptions are always late. But Good Dude Bill, he plans ahead because he always has to plan ahead when he has a tiger to take care of, so she’s had a snack and both of them are a little tipsy from his secret flask as they wait for the bride and groom to make their big entrance.

They do, tiger claps for the exact amount of time that is deemed socially respectable, and then she beelines for the bar with Bill hot on her tails. Situations like this--awwwww wait, my heart--they make the big boy nervous. There are so many phones, so many phone cameras, so many social media accounts, god he almost started to hyperventilate the night before just thinking about it all, and how he might appear on someone’s photo or video somewhere and god he hates that shit. Without him knowing, tiger very quietly texted all of their friends and asked them to PLEASE pay special attention and make sure he was not in any of their posts--or else. And tiger’s “or else”? People are very, VERY scared of tiger’s or else.

But it’s a small wedding, close friends only. So tiger bolts it to the bar and Bill arrives just in time to hear it’s a cash bar because their friends suck, and he also arrives just in time to clamp a hand over tiger’s mouth and effectively stop the long string of cuss words that was just on the verge of exploding out.

“You can just open a tab,” Bill tells the bartender, “For me and my delicate flower here.”

Tiger bites him, and Bill grunts.

“No can do,” the bartender says, “I don’t have the computer for it.”

Tiger is literally growling so Bill just takes out his wallet, hands the guy his credit card.

“No problem,” he says with a casual smile, “So can you just go ahead and hold on to this for the night then? Just swipe it every time you see either one of us.”

“That I can do,” the bartender says kindly.

Tiger finally pulls his hand away from her mouth.

“I don’t need you, moneybags, to buy my drinks all night,” she snaps. Bill doesn’t miss a beat.

“And we’ll start off with three martinis, please. Two dirty, one with a twist,” Bill says, but there’s a pleading tone to his voice and the bartender nods in sympathy. Tiger is about to snap again but the bartender shook up the quickest martinis Bill has ever seen and placed them on the bar. Bill promptly slid the two dirty ones tiger’s way, while he held up his one with a twist.

“Cheers kid,” he says. Tiger just deadass looks him in the eyes as she downs a whole one in a single gulp, taking the second one with a huff and stalking off to their table.

She uh, no doubt loosens up a bit over the course of the night--good food, good liquor, her Big Dude being so sweet and looking out for her--that’ll do it. Tiger devours her main dish and Bill knows that when she eats that fast, it’s because she’s still hungry at the end. He not only pushes all the best stuff on his plate to the edge near her so that she can steal it, but on his way to the washroom he slips the waiter a few dollars dollars billz and asks him to bring out another plate. Tiger is elated when a second dish is dropped in front of her, and she polishes off that one just as quickly. She squeezes his thigh softly under the table, looking at him all drunken and lovesick, and thanks him quietly. Bill, knowing she’s happy and fed and feeling good--man, caretaker GOOD DUDE BILL is over the moon.

They dance. They drink (more). The midnight sweet table comes out, and tiger is the first one in line and ready to throw elbows about it. They drink (a lot more). They dance together, a lot more. Man, these two are just completely in their own little world for the entire night, and the both of them just couldn’t be happier. They slow dance, because I’M A SOFF BEAN. Bill holds one of her hands in his, her other one is near his shoulder (because he’s Big Dude) and his other one is wrapped around her waist, her cheek on his chest, both of them giggling and laughing and murmuring to each other and all of their friends are oblivious because that’s just what these two do. Boinking or not, that’s just how they are.

But look, 3AM rolls around and these two? They are sloppy drunk. Tiger’s feet hurt, so Bill gives her a piggy back as they say goodbye to everyone and wait for their cab. She’s still on his back, damn near snoring, when it pulls up. They giggle the whole way, tiger makes some off hand comment that maybe she could go for another snack and Bill is promptly throwing more money at the driver, asking him to go through the nearest McDonald’s drive through. The cab drops them off at Bill’s place and tiger’s feet are still hurting so she limps, but Bill swoops in and scoops her up bridal style, their McDonald’s loot of 6 quarter pounders, 5 fries, 3 apple pies and a Diet Coke in his other hand as he lifts her up and she just keeps laying big sloppy kisses on his face.

And god it’s so giggly isn’t it? He sets them up on the bed. Tiger is throwing her dress off the minute she’s in his stairwell, and he brings her a little make up wipe from the stash that he keeps on hand for her. He’s in his boxers a second later, she flings her bra off with such vigour that it almost ends up on his ceiling fan again. There’s no doubt a little impromptu make-out session right there in bed--Bill goes to pull one of his shirts over tiger’s head so she doesn’t get cold, but tiger is total mush and drunk and pulls him down for drunk kisses. It gets out of hand like it always does, Bill laughs into it when he feels tiger start to giggle, and she whines that her cheeseburger is getting cold.

FUCK MY HEART these two idiots they just sit there, cross legged on the bed, devouring their food. They talk about nothing and everything. Tiger gets the giggles at one point over absolutely nothing, which in turn gives Bill the giggles and it’s just this mess of sappy kisses, love-drunk looks, both of them in complete comfort right there half naked, full on drunk, bathed in the moonlight of the early morning.

Tiger wants sex. Tiger always wants sex because god, Bill is just so incredibly perfect. He’s kind. He’s aggravatingly handsome. He takes care of her. He smells incredible. And in the soft moonlight when he smiles that little lopsided grin at her and swipes some ketchup from the corner of her mouth, licks it off her thumb--tiger is done for. She pounces, knocking his fries out of his hand and Bill just goes with it.

But like--he’s drunk. He’s quite drunk.  Tiger can’t stop giggling into his chest and while he has a total love boner for her, his actual biology is just like...dead to the world. He’s embarassed, but tiger’s good-natured laugh could just cure anything in the world for him. She asks for cuddles instead--some belly rubs and pats, because she polished off those fries--and these two drunk idiots just fall asleep completely tangled in each other, every limb around the other, and they wake up that stuck together too.

[dolphin-enthusiast]

bucci gang bachelor party (GONE WRONG) (COPS CALLED) (GONE SEXUAL) headcanon's?? pls 🥳🥳🥳

Time for yall daily intake of ✨ c h a o s ✨

- The quickest most effective way to disaster is organizing a n y kind of party around the chaotic line a.k.a Fugo, Mista and Narancia. But honestly how could Bruno deny Narancia and Mista’s request to have a bachelor party when they literally got on their knees, begging him with borderline puppy eyes??

- Not even 20 minutes into the party and Mista and Narancia are already drunk off their asses since they just h a d to play the “who can drink more before passing tf out” game and not even Giorno or Bruno were able to stop them. Despite both of them always bragging, Mista and Nara actually have hilariously weak tolerance and will start creasing after like 2 glasses of beer.

- Bruno assigned Abbacchio to watch Mista and Narancia so they didn’t accidentally throw a chair in anyone’s direction or some shit whilst Fugo just...slumped into a corner with his own glass contemplating life. Like my man was 100% unbothered even when Nara and Mista started running around and jumping on tables whilst obnoxiously screaming the lyrics to whatever song was currently on at the time, basically ruining everyone’s experience whilst an angry Abba kept chasing them around. And we also don’t speak of when the 2 chaotic bois trashed the DJ then played the ph intro remix (as well as bass boosted songs) just for shits and giggles.

- Giorno and Bruno are arguably the chillest and also the ones who are immediately inclined to call the goddamn cops when Fugo almost accidentally infects everyone at the party out of sheer rage after Mista and Nara decided to play a drunk prank on him, only to realize 2 seconds later that they can’t call the authorities because they are, in fact, part of the mafia. Abbacchio is angrily chasing Fugo around who’s ALSO chasing Mista and Narancia and all that Bruno and Giorno can do is sigh and try their best to continue chatting away to the guests since it really can’t be helped. The secondhand embarassment the 2 men felt once they spotted Mista and Narancia drunkenly hitting on Abbacchio thinking that he was one of the beautiful ladies at the party was enormous and so they pretended that they totally weren’t acquainted.

- Trish is also the only one who entirely refuses to take part into any of this madness and just minds her own business, dancing and talking to new people all night long all while Mista and Narancia wreck havoc all around the house. As a matter of fact, Mista tried ruining Trish’s haircut that she worked so hard on before the party and the girl merely used her stand and punched the table next to him as a warning causing Mista to immediately retreat as he picked up Narancia and held him under while yeeting the fuck away in order to fuck with someone else.

- The next morning no one remembers jack shit except Bruno, Trish and Giorno, Abbacchio having drank a little too much which is also why he locked Mista and Narancia out of the house at like 4 am after they angered him again. Fugo woke up with shit like “YEET” or “SUCC” sharpied all over his face alongside with a few good ol’ dicks drawn on his cheeks which immediately prompted him to hunt down the OBVIOUS culprits once more. Needless to say, Bruno won’t ever be throwing another party that included Mista, Narancia or Fugo. Let alone another bachelor party.

[archaeopter-ace]

I, M, T fanfic ask game?

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Frankly, reading fanfic used to be a guilty pleasure in its entirety, in that when people asked ‘what do you read?’ I’d prevaricate (and offer up Terry Pratchett as a deflection. But also. His books are works of genius). I like to think I’ve moved past being embarassed by fanfiction (also, it’s moved a bit more into mainstream culture, so there’s that).

If I take ‘guilty pleasure’ to mean ‘is there a particular trope I love to indulge in to excess,’ then... identity reveal fics. Can’t get enough of ‘em. 

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Okay, this is actually a major spoiler for Don’t Listen to Kafka, but it’s soooo far down the road I’m not sure I’ll ever get to it. You Have Been Warned. 

Toby accidentally gets bonded to Gullinbursti - the flying golden boar from Norse mythology. On the one hand - yay, cool animal companion! Downside: instills in Toby a berserker rage that gets triggered by battle. Good thing he’s got his Wingman to help him work through that

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Oh, probably. I would have said ‘soulmate aus’ except there’s always an exception, or two, or three, or more. Not much for coffee shop aus but I wouldn’t say I can’t stand them, I just don’t read them. Is it a trope to describe eyes as “orbs,” or would that just be considered a writing convention? That’s probably the quickest way to get me to nope out of a fic, honestly

Thanks for the ask!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey friend! I know you get a lot of these requests, but if you get a chance could you find me some fics where John See's Sherlock's scars for the first time and finds out what Sherlock has been through for him? He needs to see how much Sherlock really loves him! Thank you!

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: hey Steph, I was looking for some fics but I can’t seem to find much so here I am lmao, u know any fics where John discovers the scars in Sherlock’s back and they talk about them/what happend to Sherlock during that time or smth like that?

Hi Lovelies!

I actually don’t have very many “scar” fics, so I’ll just give you all the ones I have :) Feel free to let me know if I missed any, my Lovelies!

SCARS

Of Small and Unexpected Things by wearitcounts (Sher_locked_up) (T, 1,239 w. || Love Confessions, Scars, Implied Abuse, Fluff & Angst) – It’s by accident, the first time John sees them.

Moonlight by ConsultingPurplePants (E, 2,213 w. || First Time, Scars, Camping, Sherlock’s Bum) – Sherlock is standing near the door, wearing, for what John thinks may be the first time in their acquaintance, jeans and a jumper. John drags his eyes away from the way the jeans cling to Sherlock’s just-muscled-enough legs to notice that Sherlock is wearing his own backpack, and is also carrying a collapsed tent. John’s jaw drops open. Is he about to go camping with Sherlock Holmes!?

Conspiracies of the Universe by immie8 (K+, 2,291 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Post-TEH, Sherlock’s Scars, Missing Scene) – After the railcar incident, John finds himself back at Baker Street where he learns of another secret (or two) that Sherlock’s been keeping from him and somewhere along the way realizes that he really does forgive him.

Untouched by KittieHill (E, 3,239 w. || Kissing, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, Body Worship, Sherlock’s Scars Mentioned, Masturbation, PWP, Rimming, Multiple Orgasms) – Sherlock leaked a lot. John had never needed lubricant. John loved watching it, had once spent an entire afternoon edging Sherlock so he could watch as the thick precome drip, drip, dripped onto Sherlock’s belly.

Measuring Damage With the Fujita Scale by teahigh (T, 3,548 w. || First Kiss / Time, Vacation / Holidays, Friends to Lovers, Bed-Sharing, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Angsty Fluff, Scars, Awkward Talks) – John goes back into town, into the storm, and Sherlock realises he forgot to say, “I just want to be alone with you.”

Recovery by thesignsofserbia (T, 5,948 w. || HLV-Fix It / Rewrite, Villain Mary, Pining Sherlock, Major Character Injury, Scars, Self-Hatred, POV Sherlock, Doctor John, Friends to Lovers) – Set after the confrontation with Mary, and Sherlock’s cardiac arrest, John stays at 221B to aid Sherlock’s recovery, forcing them to confront wounds both old and new as they try to heal their damaged relationship.

Play for Me by nothingislittle (E, 6,105 w. || Ambiguous Ending, Scars, PWP, Masturbation / Hand Jobs, Angst, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Violin) – John had shown up at Baker Street only one day prior, an army duffle slung over his shoulder, the expression on his face like a cracked and ruptured fault line. Sherlock stood aside, holding open the door, and let John ascend the stairs in silence, asking nothing of Mary, asking nothing at all.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, H/C, Caring John, Scars) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

Bound Into the Fire by Tara Laurel (T, 6,672 w. || TEH, Suspense, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Bonfire Scene, John Whump, Mary is Nice) – “John sometimes compared Sherlock Holmes to the flaming beast in his mind…Not such a bad way to go, John mused. Being consumed by Sherlock. Dying in his fire. No. This was different. He was burning alive. Not figuratively. Not some flowery metaphor. Burning.” There was no two minute stay of execution. “Amazing how fire exposes our priorities.”

Inked in Memory by 221b_hound (E, 9,716 w. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, First Kiss / Time, Anal, Cuddling, Scars, Captain John, Kissing, Switchlock) – John has been back at Baker Street for a year, following the debacle that ended in Mary’s death. Things are good. Back almost to what they used to be. Sherlock might wish they were something else, now, but he only has himself to blame, he thinks. It’s too late, now, for the things he first denied before he’d ruined any chances he might have had. Sherlock also thinks that people who get tattoos are idiots. But perhaps he’s about to learn a thing or two, not least of which might be it’s not as late as he thinks it is. Part 1 of Lock and Key

We are all together alone by Mildredandbobbin (M, 10,461 w. || Mutual Pining, Implied Torture, PTSD, Child Loss, Post-S3) – John is back at 221B but his relationship with Sherlock is not what it used to be.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He’s charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,493 w. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w. || FutureAU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

[chocolatemillkk]

Youtube Confessional (JS)

Request: The reader and joe are in a relationship, and joe makes them film a YouTube confessional and there’s a lot of joe breaking his character to laugh and him being all silly “I’m not joe, I’m breverent” Basically fluffy af

A/N: I've made it so they're both Youtubers? Also, I had to go back and watch all the confessional videos and had a good laugh. Zoe essentially names and fleshed out the whole thing lmao that first video was cute and the latest one was hilarious??? Byron's the cutest lmao and their banter!!

"I have Y/N with me in the confessional booth," Joe raises his hands at his side slightly. "And we will be giving her the chance to cleanse herself."

"Because I sin so much," I say and Joe shoots me a look reminiscent of my mother whenever I spoke out of line.

"As I was saying," Joe clears his throat. "We'll ask a series of questions gathered from you and me...."

Joe explains the rules and the forfeit and I watch with amusement. Joe and I had been going out for a year and a half now and only gone public less than a year. This was the second video I'd been in for his channel and I assumed it would be the harder one. Seeing Joe in character just made me more determined to break it.

"Are you nervous," Joe asks.

"I'm excited to no longer hear the voices in my head," I grin.

"Bless you love, that's actually the look of a mad woman," Joe looks at the camera and I look at my own, grinning harder and crossing my eyes to look more silly. It gets a snort out of Joe and I award myself a point mentally.

"Let's get straight into it. So you've been on Youtube for four years now," Joe begins. "Are you still enjoying it?"

"I am," I answer. "I enjoy making videos."

"I was doing my research because-" here Joe looks to the camera "I don't actually know Y/N at all. Never seen her she just showed up for confession-"

"I was actually looking for my dealer's flat," I interrupt. "And came upon this place so thought I'd check it out." I giggle at Joe's reaction. "The-what do you call yourself? The breverend was very handsome so I decided to stay."

"How long have you been staying?" Joe asks.

"About a year and a half?" I wink. Most of our fans didn't know the timeline of our relationship but now they were getting more information. Joe covers his face as he laughs and I purse my lips to keep from doing the same.

"So you're dating the handsome chap Joseph Sugg." Joe continues.

"Yeah," I nod.

"Is it for the views?" Joe raises an eyebrow.

"Obviously," I nod. "There's nothing else to him."

Joe's face looks so shocked I begin laughing again.

"I'm cleansing myself!" I shout. "Why are you offended?"

"I'm not!" Joe wipes the expression off his face but the hint of a smile remains.

"I'm joking," I shake my head. "I date him because he's lovely."

"Aw thanks," Joe smiles.

"You're getting a little creepy breverend," I scrunchle my nose. "I'm talking about my boyfriend not you."

That gets a big laugh out of Joe before he clears his throat again. He asks me who I recently unfollowed and which channels I wanted Youtube to take down. I answer as honestly as I could.

"Worst habit?" Joe asks.

"Hm," I think. "I hate washing the dishes so there's always something in the sink that my lovely boyfriend will load up for me when he cleans."

"Ugh," Joe shakes his head. "Are you sure that's your worst habit?"

"Yeah?" I say.

"So not that you snore loudly or always steal Joe's jumpers or that your hair always manages to find it's way all over the bathroom?"

"I have nothing to confess to with that," I say but I can tell Joe was only getting started.

"Least favourite of Joe's friends?" Joe grumbles after I don't respond.

I laugh, "Conor-he's barely around but you know when he is because the kid's always singing!"

"That was your quickest response!" Joe laughs.

"I'm sorry!" I say to the camera but I knew his friends wouldn't take offense-it wasn't anything I hadn't said to their faces.

"Would you date any of Joe's friends if you weren't dating Joe?" Joe asks, a gleam in his eye. I knew this question came from him directly-he was always wondering if the cracks I took at his friends for being pretty were truthful or not.

"I....would not," I say with as much of a serious face I could muster.

"Hm?" Joe raises an eyebrow, his eyes staring hard into mine.

"I wouldn't!" I laugh.

"So you're not attracted to any of my friends?" Joe asks one last time.

"I don't know any of your friends."

"Not mine-of course not." Joe backtracks. "Joe's friends."

"They're good looking but not my type." I answer honestly.

"How many Youtubers have you slept with?" Joe asks next.

"Hey!" I exclaim. "All these questions have to do with my love life?"

"I'm cleansing you!" Joe says. "I sense a dark aura around you-very sinful."

"Are you a psychic or breverend?" I ask.

"I'm all of them. My religion doesn't discriminate." Joe bites his cheek to keep from laughing.

"So what does my future hold?" I ask.

"I'm asking the questions," Joe pretends to snaps. "And it looks embarassing if you don't answer truthfully!"

"Fine! Two," I cringe slightly. The first was a year into my career and it was with somebody I wasn't even that into.

"Two?" Joe looks shocked.

"I don't even think the other guy's a Youtuber anymore," I shrug.

"Jesus," Joe whispers.

"Who's that?" I laugh.

"Josus!" Joe corrects himself, laughing too.

"Have you collabed with somebody that you wish you hadn't?" Joe asks.

"Yeah," I answer.

"Who?"

"You!" I exclaim. "I really hate this video."

"That's so mean!" Joe pouts.

"I have to be honest!" I respond.

"When was the last time you flew economy?" Joe asks.

"When you forgot to book my bloody tickets to LA!" I exclaim and Joe laughs, his whole body shaking. He already knew that answer. "Joe and some of the boys were going to LA and so was I but Joe forgot to book me on their flight even though he told me he did." I explain to the camera as Joe continues to laugh. "I had to book a last minute seat right behind the toilets. The whole flight there I was thinking of all the ways I could kill you."

Joe is still doubled over laughing with tears stream down his face. I throw one of my bracelets at him but he doesn't stop.

"He's possessed," I tell the camera.

"I'm not," Joe says through the laughter. "I'm alright. Give me a second."

"It wasn't funny," I cross my arms.

"I love you I said I was sorry so many times!" Joe exclaims.

"The flight was nine hours!"

"Wait," Joe gets up, tripping over his costume, and comes back with a water bottle. He opens the top of the nozzle and sprays a stream of water on me.

"Joe!" I shout, covering myself.

"I'm not Joe," Joe says calmy. "I'm breverend and I'm cleansing you with holy water."

"Spring water isn't-"

"Shh," Joe throws some more water on me.

"When can I leave this booth?" I cry.

"Final question. Will you let Joe get a dog?" Joe asks finally.

"That is so not a question," I shake my head, trying to pick the damp top off my skin.

"It is!" Joe insists but he hides his papers against his chest.

"Let me see!" I stretch over but he leans even further.

"Just answer!" Joe shouts.

"I want to see the question!" I shout back, climbing to Joe's area. Joe had been bothering me about getting a dog but I wasn't as keen knowing I would care for it more than he would.

"Get back on your side!" Joe glances at the camera as my leg makes contact with the tripod.

I grab Joe's hands and try to tug but he doesn't budge. When he does, he pokes my ribs and being ticklish, I flinch away from him. He laughs at me as I stick my tongue out at him.

"C'mere," he guides me to him and kisses me briefly. Our eyes meet right after and I can see that Joe was very much done with the video, having something else in mind instead.

"You're not very pious youself," I tease him.

"Your sinful ways are rubbing off on me," Joe laughs, sliding his arm around my waist.

"Infidelity," I shame him. "Kissing somebody else's girlfriend."

"I know Joe personally, he said it was alright," Joe grins.

"Aren't you a man of the cloth?" I lean closer to him.

"Bedsheets are cloth too," Joe whispers and I knew he was going to cut that out with the way he looks at me. We kiss again before I scramble off of him and sit at my end again.

"For that indiscretion," I say. "I'll have to show an embarassing video of Joe."

"That's not how it works," Joe exclaims.

"It is," I shrug. "I broke the breverend and now he has to pay."

Joe grumbles but as I scroll through my phone he places his hat on my head. When I show the clip, Joe talking in his sleep about the dentist, I bow my head and the hat falls off anyway. I sneak a look at Joe and he's chuckling at the video before he looks back up at me too. We exchange a smile, sweet and loving, before our attention is drawn back to the video.

Confessional booth over and out.

[tikara]

My headcanon is that blue is easily annoyed and embarassed by memes, and one of the quickest ways for yellow to make him squirm is by doing the pen pineapple routine or buying him an ironic lolcat shirt or something.

Ahahah aww! That’s super cute and I can totally see DJ Yellow doing little things like that to playfully bug Student. Not so much with memes, though, but with things that only Student would really get or notice. =w=

Personally I headcanon that, out of the DJ & Rapper groups, it’s Red Rapper that’s actually the biggest jokester and the one true memelord out of them all. He’s the one to ironically like things and he’s constantly sending links and images to pester the others with (as can be seen in this comic I made a while back.) Like, if Vine were still around Red’s Vines would basically be what Griffin’s Vines were. Especially this bit but honestly like all of these Vines are 100% how I headcanon the goofier side of Red lmao.

Regarding the DJs with memes, I think they’re both more or less okay with them but neither of them force memes into their daily lives. While DJ Yellow jokes around pretty often he doesn’t use them if they’re not needed for the situation, and Student would only do them if he’s trying to cheer up or get a laugh out of someone (as I’ve drawn in this comic). Neither of them overdoes it, though, and they won’t do anything if they know it annoys someone or if it’s the improper time for it. And of course both DJs only keep these sort of shenanigans with their friend groups.

…I think about these two a lot if it wasn’t obvious ahahahaaaa…. >///>

[translightyagami]

11 questions meme

@13eyond13 tagged me in this meme so i gotta answer 11 questions, make up 11 questions of my own and then tag 11 ppl.

1) What is a strange misconception you had as a child? one time my dad ran over a speed bump and told me “oh that was just a bad man” so for the longest time i thought that every bump while someone was driving was the car running over a criminal 2&3) Which Death Note character deserves a spanking the most? Why? oh boy howdy. y’all know it’s light. y’all. whomst else is being the absolute worst to literally everyone at all times? he needs a spanking and that’s the tea. 4&5) What’s your all-time favorite Death Note fanfic (if you even have one?) What makes it so good? hhhhhh well when i was younger my favorite was Devil’s Trill but since then my taste has changed a little. I rlly like This Is How I Disappear bc its so. i don’t know. chilling but also so human. i rlly enjoy the characterization of light and L in that one, even tho it’s not romantic. i think abt that fic a lot. 6&7) Do you think your personality comes off similarly online as to in person? Why / why not? no way. i’m waaaay more anxious and difficult in real life. ppl hv commented on how “chill” i am online and that could not b less so irl. i’m v uncool and dorky. that’s just how it b. 8) What’s something pretty normal that you nonetheless find awkward? i hate the sound of pouring liquid. it makes me so uncomfortable but i can’t escape it. 9) Who was your first celebrity crush? mmm the earliest one i remember is zac efron. i had a big shirtless poster of him in my room for the longest time. 10) What’s the quickest way to brighten your day? honestly? just talk to me. it makes my day when ppl call me on the phone and chat w me abt cool stuff.  11) Would you rather have every song you hear slowly turn into All Star, or every movie you watch turn slowly into Shrek? oh deffo hv every song turn into all star. what a jam. what an eternal jam

my 11 question are:

1&2. what’s ur favorite sad movie? Why?

3. Are you afraid of the dark?

4&5. Do you have a favorite 2000s youtube video? What makes it so great?

6. How do you fall asleep at night?

7&8. Who is ur most embarassing favorite character? Why do you love them?

9. Do you like beer?

10. What’s a book that haunts you?

11. If you could, what’s the novel you would write?

i tag @gaygentsmith @alien-leftist @inkblueheart @agraveyardheart @wanggretzky @heartfullofshutup @beepbeepharry @eggboystyles

(sorry i can’t tag more. feel free to answer the questions if u want!!!)

[imagineyourstars]

Hey~ I've already send a matchup some days ago but if there're so many, I should help you with your matchup break :> (If it is okay, if not just ignore my request :'D) So, I had a rough time not long ago where I felt useless and lonely regardless what I did, I cried a lot, smiled rarely and half-hearted. So my request is, how would Valkyrie + Nazuna react if their usually cheerful s/o suddenly changed like I did? I really love your blog! Keep up your hard work, you're doing a wonderful job! ♥

oh no i’m so sorryto hear you felt that way ! i can only hope you’re feeling better now♥ if not, let these boys’ charms heal your soul~ also thank you so much for the kind words !!! - mod mademoiselle

Nazuna :

Don’t expecthim to not notice a change like that. Maybe he even knewsomething was wrong about you before you did. He didn’t dare sayanything, afraid he’d force you to talk about something you’re notcomfortable with telling him.

As time went on andyou were smiling less and less, he decided he couldn’t stand itanymore. He was afraid. This whole thing felt like how he was backwhen he was still a Valkyrie member. And he hated that feeling.

Expect Nazuna toget very emotional over what happens to you. He’ll be anxious, bitedown his fingernails, lose sleep and appetite and be more irritable.He even cried a few times, all in front of you. He can’t stand this.

Nazuna will go outof his way to get you to talk. He’s afraid you’ll almost become mute,just like he was. He doesn’t want to lose you and will listen to you and your feelings. Nomatter how irrelevant you think something is to your current state ofmind, he’ll ask you about it.

His main plan is tostay by your side, never leaving you unless he has to. At school,he’s always with you. Otherwise, he won’t stop calling or textingyou. He wants you to understand you’re loved and supported.

He’ll get depressedtoo, as this brings back a lot of painful memories to him. And heespecially doesn’t want you, of all people, to feel like that. Herealized through this how much he cared about you.

But Nazuna willnever stop moving forward. He’ll bring you along with him, whereverhe goes, whatever he does. He’ll try his best to make you smilegenuinely. He wants so hard to make you feel better.

No matter howyou’re feeling, he’ll ask what you’re thinking about. You can justspeak your mind with him : he doesn’t mind if you call him at 3 ambecause you’re feeling depressed. He wants you to talk about it inorder to “purge” these negative feelings. That’s his maincourse of action.

When you cry infront of him, he’ll hold you tight, whispering that he’s here andyou’re not alone. He’ll cry too. He always tries to hide it but youfeel his tears falling on your neck and shoulders.

This boy can hopefor two. He’ll relentlessly keep moving, bringing you by his side. Heknows for sure you’ll feel better someday, and he’s working hard tomake that day come as soon as possible. He wants to get to laugh andsmile with you again.

Shu :

As sweet as Shu canbe, he really has trouble understanding emotions. He’s even prettybad at deciphering his own, let alone others’. So he won’t be thequickest in noticing you’re not acting the same as usual.

It will take him awhile, but eventually he’ll realize you’re feeling depressed. Hisfirst reaction is anger. Towards you, for letting yourself bemiserable. Towards him, for not having known or been able to preventit. And towards whoever is susceptible of having caused that sadness.

Soon enough, he’llget terribly worried about you. A tiny part of him is secretly happyyou got to experience this sadness : at least you’ve both tasted itnow. Shu’s still anxious about this situation, as he feels he’s notin control.

He’ll try to solvethe problem rationally, by attacking the root causes of your sadness.School-related ? He’ll go see the teachers. Family-related ? He’llhave a word with your parents. Relationship-related ? I hope theperson who made you suffer is ready to face him off. Unfortunately,that doesn’t always work, and he’ll have to admit his defeat.

If that doesn’twork, he’ll just have you come to his house. The two of you just stayseated on his bed, under his blanket, listening to the sound of therain on his window. He’s busy sewing a handkerchief for you, one hehopes you won’t get to use.

In extreme cases,when he loses it himself, Shu will use Mademoiselle to try and makeyou feel better. She’s always so gentle with you, it’s nice to justtalk about your feelings with her. She invites you to just let it allgo and tell her everything.

Shu’s so desperateto see your smile again. He’s asked Mika and Tsumugi about this, hasread books on depression and spends entire nights sewing gifts foryou. Clothes, accessories, plushies. He even started to considerusing an actual phone to communicate with you. He’s used to justsending letters, but if that would help, he’s ready to start anytime.

One remedy he’sfound is the usual tea and pastries. He’ll serve you tea, wait untilyou’ve tasted a pastry and gently ask you to talk about it. It’sstill not guaranteed he won’t try to push the person responsible (orthe person he thinks is responsible) for your sadness in the stairs.You might want to check on him often.

He feels especiallybad about all this because it reminds him of Nazuna, back when he wasstill a member of Valkyrie. He doesn’t ever want to accidentallybreak someone he treasures again. So he’ll be unusually vehement intrying to make you feel better.

But Shu’s stillShu. He’ll revel in your love anyway, no matter how you’re feeling.In fact, now you have one more common point : you’re both suffering.And he secretly hopes you’re going to be able to help each othersmile again, soon.

Mika :

That boy would getespecially upset upon you feeling depressed. Sure, he’s felt sad tooin the past, even though he doesn’t talk about it. But he stillthinks it’s bad for you to stop smiling altogether.

He doesn’t reallytell you, but you’re his treasure. Now, he has a lot of treasures :you just so happen to be the brightest, shiniest of them all. So hewon’t let his treasure become sullied by sadness and tears. Oh no hewon’t.

Out of the three,he’s the one who’d get the most fired up about fighting that newsadness. He’ll learn one book worth of puns and jokes and tell themto you when you’re least expecting it. He’s taken advice from onehammy theater club president to try and constantly surprise you ;however he misunderstood and is now trying to scare you. He legitthinks that’s going to help.

He’s often takingyou out on weekends and holidays : he thinks seeing people, agitationand new places would help more than just leaving you be at yourhouse. So he’ll be here at 9 am sharp on sundays, ready to take youto the park.

Whenever his brightplans fail, he’s ready to attack with candy. He’s absolutelyconvinced candy helps people feel happy, so he’ll shower you underhis favorite sweets. He even brought homemade cake more than once asa last-minute idea.

And when thesadness really doesn’t subside, then he just hugs you tight. Hisembrace is so desperate that you can feel how nervous he is about youfeeling sad. Over time, hugs have become his go-to method to calm youdown. You just revel in the proximity, and appreciate how warm andclose he is…

Mika refuses tounderstand that feeling sad is part of the human nature. He justwants to help you get rid of such emotions altogether, and to get tosee your smile again. Sometimes he wonders whether he’s being helpfulor selfish, and won’t sleep at night when the doubt arises.

If you can’t sleepat night (or him, for that matter), he’ll just come to your house andsleep with you. He’ll cradle you in his arms and hum a beautiful songyou’ve never heard him sing. He sometimes gets embarassed over hisvoice, but you love it. It even helps you fall asleep.

Mika will let youhold his hand if you’re feeling uncomfortable or lonely. If he can beof any use, just tell him. He’d be oh so happy to help you feelbetter. And he’s already waiting for the day your genuine smile comesback. You’re prettiest when you smile, after all.

[candy-corps]

Valentines

Jess belongs to @mygardenofmuses

Damien didn’t think of Valentines as a big deal. It was a holiday for couples and he and Jess weren’t, so there was nothing big to celebrate. He knew it was a deal for her though, so he slipped the unsigned card - addressed to Jess - into the ‘Jones’ mailbox. It was a simple envelope and a simple card, just reading 'I DON’T DISLIKE YOU’ in capital letters. Because as he was thinking closely about it, he got cold feet, cut out some letters from newspaper headlines and stuck them on the card so she wouldn’t recognize his writing. Relieved with nothing leading back to him - not even finger prints cause he’d been careful - he was on his way home again, happy and content.

Jess was very surprised when she found the card on the mailbox some time later. Knowing Kerberous, she knew her mom’s boyfriend wasn’t the kind of guy to do Valentines cards. No, Kerberous was more of big parties in the underworld, really expensive gifts and generally ancient ways written all over his actions. And her mother hadn’t received more letters from fans for a while…

So that left open the possibility that the card wasn’t addressed at her mother at all. Plus the writing… Not disliking? Hiding writing under newspaper letters? It seemed like a thing certain bat would do…

She took out her cellphone and began to type a text. A new idea was taking shape in her mind.

[text] Hey Damien, are you busy today? I need your help to resolve a mystery!

He was about to enter the door to the house when Jess’ message arrived. Oh? That was sooner than expected …

[What kind of mystery?] he asked back, not telling yet if he was busy or not.

[ I found a mysteryous card in my mailbox. Do you want to help me to find out who sent it? I think I have some clues already… But I’d need the help of an expert, and you were the first coming to mind. ] Jess laughed a bit while typing that. This would be a fun way to enjoy the chessiest holiday of the year!

Damien didn’t keep going, but also didn’t head back, just yet. He just stood there in his thick jacket and stared at the screen.

[Is it so important who send it?]

That went through as a casual question, right? It would be hard to balance the line between suspiciously caring and suspiciously not caring at all. He had a free day though - aside from learning and training and helping his dad - and he planned for it to not go all that smooth. He was curious if she’s been happy about it…

[ Why yes, of course! Sending a card in this day is a BIG DEAL! I never received a Valentines card before… If someone likes me, I must know who is that person~ ]

His reaction already said it all, but Jess was having a lot of fun with this. She kinda wanted to give him a hug, maybe an extra kiss to thank him for the card, but that would have to wait. She wanted to hang out with him first. That wouldn’t be a date, right? Because they were best friends. Still… the idea of hanging out with him on this made her blush.

Oh, was that so. Damien scratched his head while he read the new message. ‘If someone likes me’ she said. He didn’t say that … ? Not like it wasn’t true, but it was nothing he did say per se.

[I'm on my way. Should I bring some ice cream?] It wasn’t quite the season for ice cream just yet, but it was a sunny day and he knew there was a stand near the building that Jess lived in.  

[ Sure! Ice cream is always great! And maybe in the way you can already search for clues! ]

Jess got up and put her phone in her pocket. Elton rubbed itself against her legs and she smiled a little. “Don’t worry, Elton. We don’t need to go out to find out who sent it… I’m just going to play along a little, hehehe!”

Him searching for clues turned out to be checking the footprints near the mailbox - a thing he was more than okay with. Because once he was there and has been ‘checking’, there already was an excuse for his footprints to be nearby. Truly, there was no reason to worry, and he could just enjoy a free day with Jess.

About half an hour later, Damien sneaked through the front door and rang the bell to Jess’ place. He already ‘checked’ the ground as promised. Now all of the prints were smeared up and not to make out. Pity.

In his hands, he held two cups with ice cream, wrapped in thin paper. He didn’t have to ask Jess which kind she wanted - he had a feeling that once he picked the most embarassing combination imaginable, it would be all alright.

“I’m coming!” Jess went to open the door for him. She was wearing a nice white dress, with a heart brooch decorating it on one side. She wanted to look her prettiest in such special day. After all, it was the first time someone sent her something for Valentines day - better to reward his eyes, right?

“Hey Damien! So good to see you! Please come in! Did you find any footprints that could tell us who was the mysteryous person sending the Valentines card?”

‘Mysterious person’ is what they were gonna call him - Damien meant to ask, that was, when he wasn’t way too busy frowning at Jess at the time. It was Jess, but something was … OFF. She wasn’t wearing pink - Any pink or shade of it.

“I brought you this” he said instead and pushed the still wrapped ice cream in her hands to hold it for him. He guessed they’d inspect the card first of all things, therefore he’d rather loose his jacket; hence, needed his hands free.

She noticed his frown and chuckled a little. “Thought it would be nice to give you a break from all the pink I usually wear.” she giggled, giving him a playful nudge.

“And thanks! So nice of you.” she added, picking up the ice cream. “I left the card on the table of the living room. Mom went on a date with her boyfriend so it’s just us right now. You can check it, if you want. I trust you.”

Why was she saying that she trusted him now of all times? Was she implying that he couldn’t be trusted? Not trusting this yet, Damien stored the jacket and went ahead, letting her figure out which cup of ice cream was for her. Either the mint and vanilla … or the one with raspberry, cream and red sprinkles.

“To answer your question” he started, walking ahead and talking loud enough for her to hear since there was no one to be considerate for, “Um … Seems mystery guy knows how to hide his tracks. Have you considered he doesn’t want you to find out?” he asked, picking up the card he made not all that long ago. Now his finger prints were on it … a shame.

“If he didn’t want me to find out, he wouldn’t have sent me anything to begin with.” Jess walked after him and rested her chin on his shoulder, looking at the card again. It was really hard not to give up on the game now and tell him the truth, but if they finished it now it wouldn’t be half as fun.

“Notice how he was so careful to cut all those letters and arrange them. I think we should start looking for magazines and newspapers, not only in the building, but in the whole neighborhood. Maybe someone saw something, or perhaps we can find remains in the trash. Any clues could help.”

“He so badly wants you to know, he used at least three different kinds of newspapers to not give away his handwriting … ?” Damien mentioned, hopefully not giving something away she didn’t figure out by herself yet.

“Let’s have ice cream, and then play detectives” he suggested, putting the card down again. He knew what it said, after all.

“Really? Three different kinds? What a good observation! You’re so smart, Damien!” Jess leaned back and handed him his ice cream, while she was ninnling at her own.

“We can go downstairs and see if we can find the remains of those newspapers. Who knows, maybe he isn’t too far away, either!”

“You think he’d done it here? Or lives here?” Damien wondered, not intending to go down just yet. Instead, he sat down on one of the chairs, sinking the plastic spoon in the just slightly melted cream. He didn’t like sweet things all that much, but every now and then and in good company, it was something else entirely.

“You don’t already happen to have a spuspect… ” he wondered, all calm. She’d not believe he came back to the crime scene just like that in case it was him, did she.

“Suspects? What suspects?” That was the quickest way to avoid answering a question that would push her to lie if she wanted to continue the game.

“There isn’t any other kids living in this building except me, so… Either it was an old man with a creepy liking for young girls, or a kid of the neighborhood. There’s a few kids living in the buildings surrounding mine, so it could be anyone. We’ll just have to go downstairs and see if we can find remains of those newspapers.” she added, winking him an eye, and gave another lick to her ice cream. “C’mon! Adventure is out there~!”

Yeah, but he just arrived and has been walking the distance between here and his dad’s place … twice! Not that he could tell her about it, or show …

“Okay.” He shouldn’t be so mean and not do her the favor. He knew there were just that many opportunities for her to leave the house without someone someone to stick nearby. He pulled up the hood of his sweater to cover his ears and got up again; just wondering if he should store the card or not.

Jess picked up the card and placed it into the pocket of her brown coat, which had that pocket close to her heart. Brown over white, she almost seemed a walking chocolate figurine with rosy cheeks and the biggest smile.

“I’m ready! Let’s go!”

“Alright.” Hey, thinking of … maybe that non pink attitude was a good thing today. He didn’t want anyone fron their school to see them out together - especially on a day like this - but with her and him camouflaged, just maybe, it wouldn’t be that bad? It took Damien just a second to put his jacket back on; storing the ice cream on a low table meanwhile.

“Got your keys?” he asked, once ready to go. Not that they couldn’t break back in, but they could also easily avoid it.

“Yes, these are my keys!” she said, showing him the card that both her mother and her used to open the door of the apartment. She saved it in the pocket of her coat as well. It was then when she noticed a black hat on the coat rack. Probably her uncle had forgotten it there a few days ago.

“If we’re going to play detectives, we’ll have to look like some. Here, put this hat on, Damien Holmes. And I’ll be Jess Watson. Now we’re ready to go!”

When it made her happy … he didn’t really mind. Yet, Damien huffed as he turned the hat once in his hands. “Shouldn’t you be Sherlock?” he wondered out loud. After all I’m just a bystander who got dragged into this … “

He raised the hat, ready to put it on her head when she would allow him to.

“Well, if you want me to be Sherlock, I gladly accept~!”

Jess made a playful bow and lowered her head so Damien could put the hat on her head, giggling all the way. She was having so much fun with this! Even if she felt a bit guilty for dragging Damien around like this, she knew the reward she’d give him would make the walk worth it.

“Have a blast” he just asked from her, giving up on the hat. Well then. “Let’s go?” he guessed, smiling a little.

“Let’s go!” Jess took his hand and led the way. It wasn’t long until the two of them were in the street. The girl, with the hat nicely adjusted to the head, made her hair slightly poofy.

“Do you see any clues, Damien? A magazine, some footprints, a candy wrapper that shouldn’t be there… Every clue matters!”

[dolphin-enthusiast]

How about some villains high on laughing gas 👀 who faces an existential crisis and cant remember their own name? Who's constantly crying because they dont understand how cheese is a thing? Who's just knocked out for hours?

This must be the best request I got after the one with the flying cockroach m e n a c i n g l y approaching Dio and Kira KJFEJSFJK

Dio:

- If you thought he laughed too much before then B O I are you wrong because this man can’t fucking stop howl laughing after inhaling that damn cursed gas. He literally can’t even process anything you’re speaking to a damn wall, the Dio you knew is gone. All that remains is a chaotic screaming mess that can’t properly function.

- He can’t fucking remember his own name or who he is. If you call him by his name he just laughs even louder while pointing at you as if you just said the best joke in the entirety of history.

- Later on he drops catatonic from exhaustion when everyone’s least expecting it and sleeps for almost 2 days straight. Upon waking up he vaguely remembers what happened and he won’t believe you when you tell him about just how chaotic he acted. The only way to make him believe you is to show him a recording of it and only then does he cover his face in pure embarassment.

Kars:

- He thought it wouldn’t affect him at all giving that he’s the ultimate lifeform and all of that. Turns out it wasn’t the case at all since the second he inhaled some of that laughing gas it’s as if he just did a line of crack or something.

- Suddenly doesn’t recognize anything/anyone around him and is amused by all that moves around him. He becomes overly nice and UNUSUALLY touchy, especially with the other pillarmen. Wamuu is lowkey terrified of Kars’ new behavior while Esidisi gladly welcomes this new side of him.

- He too has absolutely no recollection of what happened and straight up calls you a damn liar once you start telling him about it. But be sure that the other pillarmen are going to clown him for literal days, especially Wamuu.

Kira:

- The one that passes out the quickest, but not before causing an entire fucking scene of course. He has the BIGGEST existential crisis once the gas kicks in then he slowly starts becoming unusually giggly. It’s almost terrifying watching him lose his composure like that as he slowly descends further and further into insanity.

- Doesn’t remember what cheese or ANYTHING is in general and keeps asking stupid ass questions such as “HoW dO WasHIng mAchInEs WorK???” then probably drops catatonic right in front of you. Someone collect him off the fucking floor.

- Hours later he wakes up with a MAJOR headache and for a short second thinks that he had a hangover but quickly realizes that it was just because of the cursed laughing gas. Worst part is he perfectly remembers all that he had done/said and this is why he probably won’t be getting out of his room for days. He simply can’t face anyone after such a disaster.

Doppio/Diavolo:

- Now Doppio would be having fucking laugh attacks every second but that’s it. He doesn’t do anything too chaotic except from aimlessly wandering around and picking up things in order to get a better look at them, proceeding to laugh even harder. Afterwards he probably sleeps the entire day.

- But Diavolo?? He’s a fucking w r e c k. Just like Kars he becomes unusually touchy with everyone around him, making his subordinates lowkey uncomfortable. He legit walks around giggling to himself while hugging everyone that he sees.

- At some point Diavolo starts asking everyone who the fuck he is and when his fellow gang members tell him that he’s the damn mafia boss he starts CRY LAUGHING because that’s the stupidest shit he ever heard. Literally keeps laughing about it for hours and is unable to sleep at all. No matter what everyone tries he simply doesn’t go to sleep and continues tormenting his gang members until the gas wears off and the panic kicks in since he can remember ALL that he did. Tells everyone that if they ever bring it up again he’s going to kill them.