#it's the hard-knock life

[queermasculine]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to miss the application window

[deadthehype]

[demilypyro]

Hard-Knock Life - Dungeon Meshi

[ghost-tm]

every chrom was harmed during the making of this video

[ashiyn]

session 6 deaths in order but it’s also a hard-knock life <3

[post-it-notes7]

hey hey hey! The mirrorverse kitchen plot has at last concluded, and all seventy-nine pages have been chronologically collected into this folder! Come watch two of the Mir GSA's key players utterly fail at courtesy and navigating interpersonal drama, I hope you brought popcorn.

They're having a good time.

[kizzer55555]

Ultimate Escape Room

Sam, Danny, and Tucker are bored. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore. Summer vacation is coming up but they can’t agree on anything . Themepark? What’s a better roller coaster than Jack driving? Scary movie? I’m sorry, nothing beats Fright Knight’s nightmare realm. Bungie jumping? Danny can fly. Then Tucker, who’s been typing on his computer, asks “what about an escape room?”. The others are about to shut the idea down because seriously? Easy. But Tucker just grins and shows them his computer screen.

“Ever heard of Arkham?”

Danny and Sam lean over to read the description and all three turn to each other and grin. 

Now, what’s the fastest way to get into Arkham?

…

So the chaos trio do ✨something✨ that gets them locked up in Arkham and then try to escape and they keep. You know, normal stuff for Arkham inmates. Except this trio? Keep. Getting. Out. Of. Their. Cells. So they are just passing by locked up rogues and waving at them as an army of prison guards chase after them. Sure they could get out the easy way (Aka powers) but no, this is a challenge so they have the normal rules of an escape room. Aka, you can’t break anything and an extra rule where if a guard catches you, then you can’t fight back (also, no one can get hurt). (They make fake identities and everything). So they need to go through the whole process. Figure out how to unlock cuffs. Could be learning to pick a lock with a spoon/stick/long nails. Then find the keys. Possibly having to crawl through vents to get in the warden’s office. Or making deals with prison inmates. Like, I’ll get this for you if you give me that (however they extract a promise that the rogue can’t kill anyone with whatever they help them with.) So they are in prison literally doing errands like find freeze’s weapons in exchange for him telling them the passcode to the gate or something. Or getting Waylon some meat from the cafeteria and he’ll break the lock on this movable vault that has materials to make smoke bombs they can use to distract the front guards. 

These kids are just going wild and it gets to the point where Arkham has to call the bats (like no Waylon, we won’t escape with you, we have to do it without breaking any walls!) So literally the only reason they are not escaping is because they want to do it ‘right’. But they are also aiding other rogues in their escape (at least certain ones. They aren’t helping joker no matter what he offers)

It’s driving the bats mad. They have vigilantes stationed in each hall, in multiple monitor rooms.

They aren’t even using anything clever to block the cameras. They’re using mirrors. Mirrors! Where did they even get so many handheld mirrors! 

They are running circles around the bats. The escaped rogues literally aren’t doing anything yet because they want to see how the three hellions will escape the entire bat clan. They have bets going. So there is a temporary truce.

Just imagine the conversations/interrogations the bats will have with trio, trying to figure out their master plan - because surely there's something more going on than three chaos young adults playing a game, right?

They trio each have a different story. And they are so passionate/convincing actors that no one knows which story is real. At least one of them told a sob story with legitimate tears.

Danny: (all mysterious) You shall never know our master plan….until it is too late. And just casually dropping hints that there is something greater or that the bats are playing right into their hands. Even using ridiculous scenarios like yesss the ketchup explosion in the cafeteria….We are one step further….Mwa ha ha! (Rubs his hands together)

Sam: (absolutely distraught with literal tears running down her face and ruining her mascara.) There is a terrible organization holding their parents hostage. They had been framed and forced to be in Arkham. If they don’t do exactly as they are told, their loved ones are in danger! Should we stay? Should we escape and help them!? No one will believe us and what if we make things worse? We don’t know what to do!

Tucker: (takes a long slurp of a smoothie. Where he got one? No one knows). Yeah we were bored and had nothing better to do than mess with you guys. (Sluuuuurp).

The bats are trying to figure it out. Is the black haired guy telling the truth and the other two are just manipulating them? Is it the girl and the others are only following the plot of the organization? IS THE BARET KID RIGHT AND THEY’RE JUST MESSING WITH US!? WHICH STORY IS IT!?

Under normal circumstances, Sam wouldn’t give a sob story because It’s not really her vibe. But Sam has the opportunity to pull one over on a bat. Do you honestly think she won’t take a chance to mess with them? Also, Dick is the one who is interrogating Sam.

He’s crying too by the end of the story.

Poor guy, Sam will play his heart like a fiddle. 

Also, their fake identities are Jordan for Danny. Mortica for Sam (or Macey for short) and Phineas for Tucker. The fact that they are using fake identities is the only thing they all agree on in the interview. But the bats find nothing on them and the identities are so realistic they wonder if they are even fake at all. If the three are faking fake IDs to throw them off their tail from looking deeper. Apparently their ‘parents’ having a missing persons report.

Damian is interrogating Danny. It’s just so easy to rile him up and get under his skin. It’s absolute drama in that interrogation room. 

Danny: ah yessss. Master plan.

Damian: you shall never succeed! Justice shall prevail evil scum!

And Duke is interrogating Tucker. He just…has no idea how to respond to this. He wasn’t trained for this response. Hostile, yes. Mysterious, yes. Scared, yes. Civilian, yes. Even Flirtatious! YES! But not…this. What does he do? should he take out his note cards?

Also, I’m adding a mix of home alone elements to this. They have to get past the bats somehow and it can’t be lethal. Poor Jason and Steph who are patrolling the halls fall victim to most of this.

At one point, both of them are tied up together and hanging from the ceiling. While the trio just casually walk by under them. 

It’s dental floss. Really strong dental floss.

Then the bats start taking sides. 

Jason? once he hears Sam's story, he's immediately willing to help her. He and Dick are searching for that missing person's report almost religiously.

Tim believes Danny's story. part of it is because it makes the most sense, and the other part is that he's slightly biased from becoming an evil megalomaniac in every timeline he's seen so he's subconsciously trying to stop that from happening here.

Cass believes Tucker because come on, it's Cass.

Steph is siding with Tim because her father was cluemaster so same reasons.

Bruce is trying to fact check all of them and is failing desperately.

Sam added some ‘clues’ in her interrogation and basically threw the GIW under the bus as the organization. So the bats do find a shady organization but so far no missing persons so the other bats still don’t know if what Sam is saying is true or not while Dick takes this as absolute proof and Jason feels like it doesn’t matter if she’s telling the truth at this point. It’s a corrupt organization. So he’ll still blow it up.

I think in this AU, the GIW isn’t a threat and more of an annoyance so Sam just plays them up as even worse. Like, she doesn’t say anything untrue just makes it sound worse out of context. Oh yeah, they opened fire on this random kid. (Gregory when they thought he was phantom) Oh yes, they have destroyed Danny’s house at one point. (The prank war with Vlad) Yes, the have an unhealthy obsession with dissecting people. (Even though they are too incompetent to actually catch anyone).

So again, they don’t know if Sam is telling the truth of the organization or they just used this random organization to draw their attention away from the three’s plans (as Danny implied). Possibly an enemy organization or a competitor.

I know everyone makes the GIW a big threat but I decided to change it up. They aren’t a threat but still get obliterated by a pissed off Red Hood and Nightwing.

And that’s  another reason why Sam gives the sob story. Danny and Tucker are great but they wouldn’t actually sick a crime lord on the GIW. Sam? Absolutely would. She does not care what happens to them. They tore up her garden one time with a stray shot. She wants revenge. And sure, she didn’t actually know what would happen to them after the bats find out but she still doesn’t care.

And through all of this, the rogues are sitting back and eating popcorn while Joker screams bloody murder from his cell. 

[deutsche-bahn]

Ein Freund von mir hat sich zeitgleich mit mir ein Auto gekauft. Ich holte mir damals einen geriatrischen beinahe-Oldtimer, der älter ist als ich und farblich jenseits aller RAL-Töne liegt. Er holte sich einen grünlich-grauen Kengo ohne Klimaanlage, ohne Rückbank, ohne alles.

Wir stressen uns als Fahrer/Beifahrer-Kombi jeweils auf ganz einzigartige Weise. Ich stresse ihn, weil ich jegliche Anweisungen des Navis ignorierend über Gott und die Welt monologiere, und beim rezitieren meiner Lieblingswikipediaartikel zum dritten Mal die Ausfahrt verpasse. Er stresst mich, weil er die Farbe der Ampeln immer erst zwanzig Meter vor der Haltelinie wahrnimmt, und nebenbei Straßenmarkierungen eher als Vorschlag interpretiert.

Wir landeten vor kurzem in seinem Kengo auf einem Edela-Parkplatz. Er parkte direkt vor der Ladenfassade mit so viel Schwung ein dass ich uns schon mitsamt Kengo in der Tiefkühlabteilung sitzen sah, machte dann aber eine Vollbremsung und ließ den Wagen mit immerhin drei Rädern innerhalb der gekennzeichneten Parkfläche stehen. Im Gegenzug knallte ich die Beifahrertür so fest zu, dass das Handschuhfach aufsprang und seine selbstgebrannte CD-Mixtape-Sammlung offenbarte. To be honest: weder wir noch diese Karren sind wirklich zu 100% für den Straßenverkehr geeignet.

Ein paar Wochen später erkrankte sein Kengo. Mein Freund- studierter Sozialarbeiter, leidenschaftlicher Broadwayfan, und alles in allem handwerklich unbegabt- entschloss sich, das Problem selbst zu lösen. Von mir wollte er dafür lediglich eine Dose WD40. Und eine Mitfahrgelegenheit zum Baumarkt. Und dann zur Tankstelle. Und dann, dass ich ihm half den Tank seines Autos via Benzinkanister zu befüllen, wobei er sowohl sein Auto als auch mich in Benzin übergoss als wollte er mich gleich für irgendein politisches Statement anzünden, mitsamt Kengo. Die Dose WD40 hatte ich ihm gewissenhaft von meinem Arbeitgeber geklaut. Ich hatte halt im Voraus Witze darüber gemacht, dass er wahrscheinlich versuchen würde damit die Reifen zu ölen- in which case we'd all miss him dearly. Stattdessen musste ich zusehen wie er auf dem Rücken unter seinem Lenkrad lag, und Schmieröl hinter sein Gaspedal sprühte. Wild, er möchte wirklich sterben.

Ich fragte ganz zaghaft ob er nicht lieber zur Werkstatt sollte. Weil, brudi, ernsthaft, das Gaspedal ist jetzt nicht ein Teil deines Autosan dem du diy Projekte umsetzen solltest. Er ignorierte mich und rief mir zu, ich sollte den Wagen starten. Er machte keine Anstalten den Fußraum zu verlassen, also kletterte ich über ihn auf den Fahrersitz und drehte den Zündschlüssel um. Der Motor des Kengos gab ein fast schon obszönes Stöhnen von sich. Mein Freund drückte das Gaspedal, welches jetzt wohl sufficiently lubricated war. Das Auto stotterte irritiert.

"Vielleicht hab ich die Kabel falsch wieder zusammengesteckt" klingt es kläglich von unter mir aus dem Fußraum. "Du hast was?" frage ich. "Was hast du mit den Kabeln gemacht?!" Er seufzt zur Antwort schwer. Was auch immer er mit diesem Auto angestellt hat fällt wahrscheinlich weniger unter Reparaturarbeiten, und mehr unter Totschlag.

Ich fahre ihn im Anschluss zurück nach Hause. An der nächsten Ampel mache ich noch einen Witz über seinen Kengo, bevor mein Wagen die Aufmerksamkeit wieder auf sich lenkt, indem der Anschnallgurt auf Fahrerseite sich unaufgefordert öffnet, die Schnalle auseinanderfällt und in Frührente geht. Ich vermisse das 9 Euro Ticket

[tei-to-tei]

December 16 - Mischievous Activities

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 16 | ...

[silviakundera]

so do u think the emperor of The Double has just resigned himself at this point, to the irrefutable truth that his partner in nation building & court schemes is now spending 85% of his energy pondering & stalking a relatively attractive and talented noblewoman that his top scholar had married and then buried alive a few months ago.

and now said partner in crime just brings him exponentially unhinged plans of action that are OBVIOUSLY in service of his yearning for this lady, but that he's ready to defend with 45 minutes of rhetoric about how it's totally in the best interest of your majesty and the country.

[floridianfireflyfaith]

Roz is having a bad day.

[natjennie]

what's weird about the fantasy high drama is that like. it seems to me like people forget d&d is primarily a) a game you play with your friends and also b) luck based.

I mean it's fine to say that "nothing felt like a challenge" and "they just dominated everything and there weren't any stakes" but like. it's not as if they weren't up against huge threats. they lost the mall fight. the last stand was an onslaught of enemies. they fought a dozen dragons from an airship. the fights were hard. they're just really good. they've had very good dice luck in general this season and are all very high level and highly specialized. fig is gonna beat deception and performance checks. adaine's gonna figure out the arcana. riz is gonna succeed investigations. like. for some reason their strategical competence and wisely picked abilities are. a downside? a disappointment?

the thing about d&d that you need to remember is it's first and foremost a game. it's mostly random and it takes you down weird paths and you're playing to have fun with your friends. the dice are literally telling the story that it's their time, it's their year. they've struggled enough. they've trained enough. they're good at what they do. and in my post about the academic/domestic/personal stressors being the focus, d&d doesn't have any other system to work them out than rolling different skills. that's what d&d is. brennan set specific challenge levels for different tasks and the players strategized to prioritize which abilities they were strongest in. the challenges were there. and the players rose to them. they were both smart in their delegation of responsibilities and lucky with their dice rolls. of which, both are foundations of d&d.

don't mistake them being good players and getting lucky with there being no hardship. just because they smashed through the wall, that doesn't mean the wall wasn't strong. they were just stronger.

[by-the-dreadwolfs-tits]

in my silly little post-canon happy ending au, i like to imagine that shepard has the tony hawk curse. why? its funny

i didn't SEE anyone else having done this, but if they have uh.... two cakes

og tweets under the cut

[sunnyaliceart]

Hard Trick Life

Couldn't get this idea out of my head. Gosh, I love Ghost Trick!

[quotelr]

Tell me, who have never be knocked down by life’s circumstances? It takes grace and enough strength, to get up and begin again

Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!