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whysojiminimnida · 2 years

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So What's with Jimin Lately, You Asked

WARNING THIS IS A LONG-ASS POST And please remember that this is a NO SOURCE NO RECEIPTS HOUSEHOLD OKAY. I don't know shit, I ain't confirming a damn thing, anything you read is my opinion based on maybe info or maybe utter garbage. That's my disclaimer and I am STICKING TO IT. I can't be the only one who has noticed our Jiminie looking a bit...like this, recently:

And I think I may have one reason why.

Scandals are a fact of life among idols. What in the West might be considered a normal life event is, in the world of the K-pop system, often a career-ending event. Like, IDK, members dating actual women. Or men. Or each other.

In the last couple of months, all of these things have been alleged - one of them in the press. The other two, behind the scenes. We know about Jimin's mail being stolen and the security failure there, and it's not a stretch to believe that security for BTS overall has taken a hit. It was adequate, even excellent, for years. BigHit pays very well.

But information pays better, and blackmail pays best. Lest you think "NO but that whole Taehyung-Jennie thing was a stunt"... maybe. Maybe not. Tae, actually, is one of the most scandal-proof idols in the business because he primarily or only dates women. Sorry not sorry, I said what I said and I ain't wrong.

I have said privately, if not publicly, that Hybe will NEVER DENY THOSE RUMORS because Taehyung himself will not deny them. They aren't even bothering to keep them out of the press.

Being straight or even passably so is not a problem, for artists on Bangtan's level (is anyone else even ON Bangtan's level? NO.) The Jeon-Parks, though.

See, the thing about being *gaily involved* in Korea is that... it's a problem no matter how famous or powerful you are. Idols are not immune - ask Holland.

That's Homo Hill, kids - the WeHo of Seoul. The gayest gayborhood in the entire of Korea. And famous unstr8 people are not safe, there, now.

There was a pay-for-info attempt floating around about JeiKei awhile back. And he was alibi'd for the date(s) in question. Wasn't there, wasn't him, the fakes were good but not good enough to put him somewhere he wasn't. You maybe didn't hear about it because those of us who did, didn't discuss it out loud.

More recently, though.... I'm gonna say this in public this ONE TIME and we will not speak of it again. OKAY? Okay. Sometimes people are for sale that shouldn't be. And security failure has happened more than once in the last couple of months - a problem that, I am told, has since been rectified. And I am not saying money changed hands, do not get me wrong. I'll come find you if you say I said that. But there are REASONS that Jimin and Jungkook are currently not sharing vehicles, not being seen as too friendly, are not "together" in public, not even in interviews or photoshoots. Sometimes a bit of perceived distance is necessary. I don't feel like I should or should need to elaborate.

Add to that the depth of emotional and psychological damage, it's no wonder Jimin doesn't trust anyone, very much, lately.

My favorite couple have not been seen together in public since their off period began and I don't think I need to further expound on why, unless you're completely unaware of the eyes that are currently on BTS as a whole. (Sorry, I keep deleting stuff. This is taking longer than I thought). But Jimin was the one whose security had already failed - enough that Hybe had to clean up after them.

The others have had sasaeng problems and those are constant and pretty normal business. All idols get that. But all of them are not Park "It Boy" Jimin.

So being threatened with a very real tax lien, and immediately following that even a hint of the possibility of being outed, right NOW? I've deleted a lot more than I can ever write on how gross, how invasive, that is. And that when this is his normal commute:

In the West, Jimin gets a lot of hate from cultists and we don't like to talk about that. But within the last year, a small but rude wave of anti-Jimin sentiment has made its way into Korea. Airplanes and money exist. I've been shocked at what some people are willing to do to further their narrative. If your favorite translator can afford to hit every show with their anti buddies but can't seem to remember to support Jimin's OSTs or solo efforts, ask yourself how they benefit from that and who they support and what else they might be up to that we aren't aware of. If you casually see cult-adjacent accounts that seem to somehow be turning a for-profit narrative ask yourself what loyalty that cash might be buying. It doesn't take a lot of people to crowdfund someone's entire livelihood. Maybe 1000 at $5 a month could get it done.

HELL IF I COULD COMMAND $5K A MONTH FROM Y'ALL I WOULD MOVE OUT MY MAMA'S HOUSE NEXT WEEK AND PAY MY MEDICAL BILLS.

If y'all don't have anything else going on I'll just put me up a whole Ko-fi or Patreon and write fanfiction for a damn living and YOU THINK I AM JOKING I AM NOT EVEN. My services can be bought. Most people can, if they like what they're doing and can get paid to do it. I won't lie to you for cash and I mouth off here for free but hey, a girl needs rent all right, my fanfiction commissions are OPEN.

Get up to a quarter, half-million ad-revenued followers and do the math on that kind of income.

We can't all be Ryan Kaji, Super Spy, but it ain't for lack of trying.

Now imagine a paparazzi journalist with the idea of a second and third source of cash, plus the street cred of breaking the biggest news story in K-pop history, and their neighbor's second cousin happens to know someone with a vacant window view to a certain apartment and this is how careers get shot down and reinvented much later on another continent.

That's the level of stress, I think, for all of them in general but for Jimin in particular. Maybe on a similar level for Jungkook, somewhat less so for Taehyung. The hyungs have it a little easier, but not by much.

Now add to that Schrodinger's Hiatus and other things we never know about - family stress, life in general, maybe Jimin's plumbing went out or his invisible cat got sick, we don't know everything -- how would we begin to look at our lives, in Jimin's place? Would it be worth it?

Based on his smile at MNet last night, I really hope so.

#jimin #the park jimin #nobody better ever say a bad word about him to me #or any of them #but especially the jeon parks #they're my bias #yes both of them #i adore them equally and without prejudice and i will kick ass the same way #i am here to slay dragons and stan jikook and i am all out of dragons #excepting those in my anon box #which i am avoiding sorry hit me with a dm instead #my tags lord #sorry #jikook #sasaengs #security failure

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they-callme-ami · 3 years

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Gender and Sexuality headcannons for Infinity Train passangers and Hazel.

(I’ll make a seperate posts for just the photos but if you want to read about the why behind them, click down below for more)

Tulip Olsen:

Gender wise, I think Tulip is a demigirl. The definition (according to google) is "A gender identity term for someone who was assigned female at birth but does not fully identify with being a woman, socially or mentally." For some reason, while I was doing this--it just felt like Tulip. She identifies as a girl, uses the pronouns and seems happy as one--but she seems like the kind of person to not really fit with other women in a certain way, if that makes sense.

Sexuality wise, I'll be honest. I think Tulip is an aromantic. And I don't just mean because she never had a potential love interest or human friend on the train. Her little road trip song? "No romance, no romance, no romance for me mamma." Plus, check the colors match, I rest my case.

Lake:

Okay this one is easy and I don't even think there will be any arguments or debate about this one. The evidence is all there. Cutting off hair, wearing more masculine/androgynous clothing, wanting to be your own person, changing their name to a NOUN to signify their new life, not wanting to be put into boxes? Lake is a she/her and they/them (mostly the later after escaping the train) non-binary and pansexual. It's just the facts.

Jesse Casay:

For Jesse, I believe that he is trans. Why? Most of book 2 was about Lake's journey to discover who they are and get off the train, but Jesse was still their because of his own lessons he had to learn. He was a people pleaser and never stood up for himself and did what he thought would make people like him more. He also makes his little brother partake in his 'friends' ritual of a 'manhood test' where they shove him down a hill and he breaks his arm--it feels like he was in a way, overcompensating. It seems like he's such a people pleaser and conformist because he doesn't want to give others a chance to dismiss him for who he is.

I also think he is pansexual. No deep meaning--I just honest to god think he truly does like EVERYONE.

Grace Monroe:

Her parents didn't seem like the type to pay attention to their daughter already, and give off 'rich black republican' energy which clues me in on 2 things.

Her parents would not care enough to use Grace's pronouns if she were trans, so I do believe she is cisgender.

Her parents wouldn't even notice that she's a lesbian, and if they did she definitely wasn't allowed to act on those feelings. Probably why she has a hard time interacting with other girls her age and why she sees Simon as just a friend, despite all the tools there for them to have been together.

Simon Laurent:

Look this isn't even me doing the whole 'haha, the bad guy is the cishet, cis-het white men are icky' thing. Literally, name one thing about Simon that could be queer-coded. You could argue he was deep DEEP in the closet I guess--but I just got straight and cisgender vibes from him.

Hazel:

Now stay with me on this one. Stay with me here. This is not because Hazel is a denizen. But I believe Hazel is an intersex child that uses she/her pronouns is aromantic. Hazel is only 6 (or so she says) and it's a bit hard to argue sexuality for someone who's both very young and probably hasn't even had their first crush yet. But gender wise--I think intersex works. Not only does Hazel remind me of Stevonnie (a cannon intersex character) but her whole character is her trying to figure out 'what' she is and how she doesn't completley belong anywhere. She was most comfortable with Tuba, another denizen like her, but even Hazel was 'different' from her and was caught between 2 worlds--and she didn't want to choose. She's just Hazel.

Amelia Hughes:

Super easy here. Amelia gives off bi-wife energy and distinguished bi energy where ever she goes. She just--I can't explain it but she isn't straight for sure. You could argue she leans closer to men because of marrying Alrick but proposing to a man during that time period?? Not the traditional cis-het womanly thing to do. Also--come on. Y'all know. Y'all KNOW.

Min-Gi Park:

Book 4 was just "this is for the mlm" personified. Book 2 was for the trans/enby folk, but book 4 was for the gays. Min-Gi is the personification of 'in the closet but in love with my best friend' to the 9's. The reason he gets off the train is because he finally accepts that he doesn't want to fit the status quo, he wants to be with Ryan and outright says he won't LEAVE the train without Ryan--who was currently still at 202-- while he was at 0. That is the GAYEST shit I ever saw. He's def not out to anyone yet, but he checks off those boxes alright.

Ryan Akagi:

Do I need to explain?? Do I REALLY need to explain? I will. Ryan is a neurodivergent, rocker teen who drives a van across the country in the 80's and wants his childhood best friend to come back and reform their band. He uses the t-shirt said best friend made for him as a headband and keeps it for years after they spilt apart. He has a rockin fashion sense, definitely loves the ladies (he unironically flirted with a cat and had multiple girlfriends) but also is in love with his best friend. Hell--he FITS the red-blue soulmate trope--he is literally a rebel without a cause and doesn't seem to fit anywhere but with his best friend and band partner--

Ladies and Gentleman, Ryan Akagi is a disaster bisexual enby that uses he/him and they/them pronouns, thanks for coming to my fuckin' Ted Talk.

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whatiwillsay · 4 years

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off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too! i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me. i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo!

Part I - At least one fake rs!

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay. Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything! We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another. cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them? Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March? Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship? Perhaps! Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach. The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there! Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating? Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay. Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists. Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues. I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes! It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019. They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos. I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married. All jokes aside this is fruity behavior.

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn! It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe. Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia? (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened. And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs. Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women. Is she gay? I don’t know! But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think? Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni. Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

#selena gomez #gaylena #taylena #gossip #cara delevingne #julia michaels #lesbian #sapphic #of interest #taylor's fruity friends

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just-mebs · 4 years

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Can I get your hc's on all the Control character's identities?? I loved your hc for Dylan so 👉👈

Awe thank you! Most of these head cannons stem from “they give me ___ vibes” + me doing more character analysis vs giving head cannons lmao. This gets kind of long but please I want to talk more about these characters so reply to this post of send me a message I love this game so much!!!

Jesse: Lesbian. No real questions there. In the beginning I was getting a lot of bi vibes from her too though, so I like to head cannon that maybe she did date men at one point and even was bi but by going based off of the game and how we know her I think she has more lesbian energy.

Emily: I see Emily as a (surprise surprise!) lesbian as well. Maybe it’s my need to ship her with Jesse (y’all what’s the ship name??), but I also want to head cannon Emily as ace. Not too sure why to be honest but yeah!!

Arish: Because he’s one of my favorite characters I ofc have to self-project onto him and head cannon him as the gayest gay to ever gay. I’m joking.... but I do think he is either bi or pan?? I also head cannon him as a trans man but like I said before that’s just me self-projecting lmao

Langston: Another of my favorite character’s (his monologue in the AWE DLC makes me smile) but I honestly have so many conflicting head cannons for this guy it’s not funny. On one hand I feel like he could be straight?? but I also do not get straight vibes from him at all. So, I like to think that maybe he’s in the middle of questioning himself and trying to figure himself out - or even maybe he just Does Not Know™ and doesn’t want to know. That’s one of the reasons why he puts so much of himself into his work because OF COURSE O.O.Ps and the like are SO much easier to understand than figuring himself out. On the OTHER hand, I like to head cannon Langston as being both aro + ace as well as an nonbinary. Kind of polar opposite to what I said before but at the same time I feel like he feels more connected with the O.O.P.s than really anyone else? And to add onto that I don’t feel like he would acknowledge gender or really think much of it.

on a completely different topic I feel like Langston and Darling are two sides to the same coin - or maybe two opposite extremes? Not sure which example fits better but they are super similar except Darling being kind of bad while Langston is just being... well Langston? I don’t know maybe a post for another day unless someone else wants to make it (and @ me so I can read it 👀)

Underhill: I also head cannon Underhill as ace, but I think a lot of that is the beginning of a fungi joke. Besides that, I head cannon her as a trans woman like really hard. I’m aware this isn’t an uncommon head cannon in the community, but I really like it and feel like it fits her a lot.

Dylan: Okay so I’ve already expressed my thoughts on Dylan being nonbinary, maybe a demiboy idk, and I really do feel like his narrative fits one of him getting a chance to figure himself out post game. Every time I try to write up something to explain how I feel about Dylan I keep getting off topic lmao, I’ll have to do a separate post. What I want to say is that his life pre-game is literally a shit show. Whether you love or hate Trench, Darling, and/or the FBC - they fucked this kid up more than the Ordinary incident probably did. By the time we get to post-game, I feel like Dylan is thrown through this situation where he gets a chance to start over somewhat. He no longer has this pressure, these expectations no matter how good or bad they are, and now has somewhat of a support system (even if it’s just Jesse) he’s finally able to figure himself out.

With all of that being said I feel like because he no longer has these expectations to be anyone, to be anything, and with that he might just reject being anything period. Just let him fucking exist without some other power trying to get to him please ffs.

Darling: I hard head cannon him as pansexual tbh. I feel like with him working as the head of research his understandings of... well everything... he just cannot find it in him to deem one person more attractive than another bases on gender or sex at birth?? Also, Darling screams Theater Gay™ especially based off of the Dynamite video.

Trench: Okay I will be honest and say how I don’t know much about Trench. He was always that character that I wanted to know more about but never did. I feel like Trench is the guy who’s like gay? or bi? but if you ask him, he says he’s 100% straight. Maybe he’s in denial? Maybe he’s closeted? I don’t know but I feel like a big part of it is because he’s a little bit afraid of getting close with people again. This gets into the entire ordeal with his daughter and ex-wife, the trauma it was to be the cause of his daughter’s death which resulted in him being alone, I imagine he never forgave himself for it which is why he distanced himself from Dylan as much as he did as soon as he felt some kind of connection forming. He’s not a bad guy, but he lets his past haunt him to a point where he seems so cold and closed off. I do feel like he is bisexual though, while he rejects the connections and relationships from the people around him you can tell he still wants them. His relationship with Darling being a good pointer to that thought whether or not you ship them or think of them as just friends.

#control #Anonymous #control game #control 2019 #jesse faden #emily pope #simon arish #casper darling #zachariah trench #dylan faden #frederick langston #raya underhill #playing games: control #ask.mebs #headcanon #long post #meta #control meta

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winchestersingerautorepair · 5 years

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A Rift Between

A Brief(-ish) History of Dean, Cas, & Rifts

Let’s talk about rifts for a moment. And when I say rifts, I don’t mean their personal disagreements -- if I were to be discussing that, this post would be less of a brief history and more of a thesis paper.

No, I’m talking about rift rifts. As in, actual, literal tears in the spacetime continuum. They are littered across the whole run of this show, and we’ve recently had two whole seasons devoted to them. So, the sudden reappearance of rift-adjacent plotlines carries with it a weighty load of textual relevance.

Dean and Castiel’s relationship arc, a fan favorite, began when Leviathans, the notorious fan-unfavorite, came into the picture.

No, Maeve! Dean and Castiel’s relationship arc began in season 4, not 7! Cas was barely even in season 7!

Well, let me explain. Season 7, the age of Sera Gamble, was a total show reset. Was it uncomfortable? Yes. Did we all hate it? Yes. But like with muscle, you’ve got to tear through the old before you can develop something new, and Season 7 did this job quite effectively. An identity crisis at that scale means either a massive change of pace or a creative death, and as the show is still on, number one it is.

So, while we can most reliably chart the beginning of an intentional, substantive romantic undercurrent to Season 8, it is the waiting that allowed it to come to fruition-- Season 7 was a void, an unsustainable period of creative drought, a long cold winter in which seeds fell and laid dormant. And like the winter, it was necessary for rebirth.

This brings me to the first DeanCas rift:

The Purgatory Spell

Episode: 7x01

This tear in spacetime was the culmination of Castiel’s Season 6 character arc. It was the final, greatest betrayal, the irredeemable course of action which struck his relationship with the Winchesters a fatal blow-- and though his last act was to attempt to right his wrongs, the emergence of this rift meant estrangement and death for the relationship (and for Castiel.)

This incident is established as far more significant for Dean than it is for Sam, so I won’t spend much time justifying my classification of this rift as primarily DeanCas. It’s made pretty damn clear through Dean’s behavior throughout Season 7.

Castiel’s departure catalyzed the emergence of Leviathans. As the lore promised, they brought death and destruction to the whole ecosystem, purging the show and readying it for reincarnation; but I’ve already made this point.

As Destiel 1.0 dies, Destiel 2.0 is born.

~~~

The Purgatory Portal

Episode: 8x07

Let us journey back to "A Little Slice of Kevin"-- the gayest thing to happen to Supernatural up to that point. Suddenly, Dean and Cas’s ambiguity is no longer a joke. It’s no longer flippantly referenced, but Built Into The Narrative In A Noticeable Way. After Season 7, Season 8 shocked the system, earning Purgatory celebrity status as the Destiel fandom exploded back to life.

But, more important things. The events surrounding this portal not only codified romantic subtext, but reshaped their relationship by putting it in grave peril. Lovers trapped in separate worlds. There’s only like ten thousand examples of this in other fictional, romantic(-ally coded) relationships. Sigh.

As Destiel 2.0 dies, Destiel 3.0 is born.

~~~

Seasons 9, 10, and 11 are filled with near misses. Divisions between worlds/fates test and change their bond -- Heaven and Hell exert tremendous force on both, and the gates of Heaven and the Darkness’s breach of barriers flirt pretty openly with the rift theme -- but there isn’t anything that fits the profile cut and dry, so let us leap to Season 12. Five long years of glacial shifts, five long years of a slow, steady amping up of queer subtext. An argument can be made that it had graduated from subtext in some places, but both fandom and GA were frog-boiled enough in their interpretations for this argument to be an aside.

Destiel 3.0 reaches a transitional stage, and becomes Destiel 3.0+.

Now, It’s season 12. And like goddamned CLOCKWORK, six years after Season 6, another unstable tear in spacetime appears, and terminates Castiel’s character arc.

Rift? Check. Cas dead? Check. We’ve seen this pattern. Time for shit to CHANGE. And boy, did it.

~~~

The Rift

Episode: 12x23

Oh, boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Castiel’s death in the Season 12 finale was a magnum opus of SPN’s romantically coded imagery. I could elaborate, but if you’ve read this far into this post you likely already know what I’m talking about. My point is, a hall of mirrors is the chosen space in which Destiel 3.0+ is killed.

The relationship death lasts only a short while; their estrangement in separate realms is a five episode-long period of detachment and review. Our characters, as well as the viewers, stride through a hall of mirrors. In solitude, this DeanCas winter becomes a chance to reflect, because there is no better way to get a feel for the importance of something than to eliminate it. The crucial elements of Dean and Cas’s relationship, what they mean to each other, becomes clearer than ever before because, look! This is Dean without Cas! This is the show without Cas! Don’t you hate it?

I mean, guys. Mirrors. Cas spoke to a reflection of himself in the Empty. Literally. He addressed his greatest fears about relationships with himself. He was forced to rewatch his greatest mistakes, and what gets featured? Our first two DeanCas rifts. F*ck this show.

DreamHunter parallel! 13x10 reenacted this scene for us with Claire and Kaia.

Then, 13x05 changes the whole game once more. You know, the episode titled Thanatology. The study of Death. Fuck this show.

As Destiel 3.0+ dies, Destiel 4.0 is born.

~~~

The intensity of the queer narrative amps up continually. Things are getting harder to write off.

Rifts between worlds, crossover and confinement, and estrangement, and the blurring of lines, and the breaking of old taboos/breach of old barriers dominates the remainder of Season 13 and Season 14. We hold this broad focus for a long time, and Dean and Castiel become the emotional equivalent of the plot arc, always there, brewing, but taking a backseat to the Big Stuff. A wall rises, and solidifies. Silver Pole of Communication Barriers, anyone?

Then? Season 15 kicks us in the Destiel balls.

Full disclosure: I didn’t see this next part coming. I dared not ask season 15 for anything this significant, so the last scene of 15x08 just about took my life.

~~~

The Purgatory Rift

Episode(s): 15x08, 15x09

Dun dun DUN!!

This twist was my favorite Christmas present, because it communicated to me that the writers have an understanding of Dean and Cas’s history to match our own. Not only are they actively writing them utilizing the Destiel playbook, they obviously care immensely about the destiny of their relationship. I am speaking too soon to say this definitively, but this mission has all the hallmarks of a plot device designed to serve many purposes in respect to Dean and Castiel. They’ve got ALL the ingredients. There are so many things tied in here that it gets pretty damn near fanfiction territory.

Please read my reaction to the purgatory twist if you need context, as I don’t feel much like regurgitating it. This post is long enough, lol. (A bloom that grows only in one place? Fuck you, writers. You’re going to KILL me.)

~~~

So, to recap: In a universe defined by barriers and guidelines, a relationship that refuses to be defined will be under constant siege. Dean and Castiel suffer from the sheer reality of walking lines between two designated states of being-- friends and lovers, angel and human, take your pick. The current order isn’t friendly to beings who don’t fit a category. Until the barriers are stripped away, they cannot exist as they are, and rifts will continue to rip them apart.

The Purgatory Rift of 15x08 is such a big deal because it fuses themes. The rifts of the Dabb era have merged with the gateways of the Carver era. Not only are our long-standing almost-lovers returning to their relationship’s place of origin, they are doing so by breaching physical barriers designed to keep them apart; and all the while, the most dangerous, important rift is not the one in the fabric of reality, but the one in their relationship.

I expect this major rift to end no differently than it has in the past. Dean and Cas will be separated, and Cas will be out of reach. And then, they’ll be reunited. But, where will that take us? What will the next reincarnation look like?

As Destiel 4.0 dies, something will be born.

#who sucks at tags? me #spn meta #spotting patterns #symbolism #destiel #purgatory #spn s7 #spn s8 #spn s12 #spn s15 #theme: rebirth #endgame speculation #15x09 #15x09 speculation #rifts #mine

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coinofstone · 4 years

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5x12 The Diamond of the Day pt 1

Final two episodes! Big finale! Why am I making myself cry in the middle of the afternoon! Both eps in this post.

I do love that they made Arthur a sore loser

Enter treacherous white woman #2. Srsly it was lazy writing when they did it for Mordred, it's worse now with Gwaine.

I do love the actual Round Table war room discussion but a) why isn't Merlin seated at the round table and b) why does Leon have so much goddamn faith in Camelot's walls? Like??? You literally said the same thing last year and yet Camelot *did* fall when Agravaine brought an army through the tunnels!

Poor Aithusa. Kid's had a rough life.

I do love Arthur responding to Merlin presenting him with all his supplies ready - which he prepared without his magic mind you - with suspicion 😂

But then he calls Merlin a coward and it's sad

Katie has such a great voice. That entire thing in the cave from her taunting to her laughter to the spell, it just just beautifully played.

Whole ass battle to prepare for and Arthur is just walking around moping cuz Merlin isn't there

So, Merlin's father-vision telling him he's magic itself and he just needs to believe in himself to get his magic going again, does this mean he *didn't* need to go to the cave to get it back? Cuz it seems like he needed to recharge in the cave itself, his injuries were healed when he woke up. That seems like magic cave stuff to me.

Also that "always have been and always will be" - I'm taking to mean 'always have been' in the sense that since he's 'magic itself' even before he was born, his magic existed in other, intangible forms, like we are all stardust etc. But now that he is, he will always be, aka he will not die.

Arthur waking up with his wife in his arms and Merlin's name on his lips, jumping out of bed to act on dream-info.

Balinor telling Merlin to trust in what will be.... like bitch that is literally not how this ends.

5x13 The Diamond of the day pt 2

You know that gif of the cat knocking everything off the table? That's literally Merlin shooting lightning at everyone from his perch on the ridge.

I have a lot of snarky things to say about Merlin coming out of the cave in full Dragoon gear and riding a horse instead of teleporting like the other witches but I'ma keep that to myself.

Mordred is a bitch and Aithusa has terrible aim. At least Aithusa's loyalty to Morgana makes sense.

Arthur said oh shit I'm magic - oh wait no it's that old man again

He also straight up "No! Bad dragon!"-ed Aithusa

Y'know, for all I've watched this episode and screamed about Arthur's death, I don't think I've ever focused on the exact moment he gets stabbed before.

Mordred catches him from behind and he meets it, no fault there. But as soon as he realizes his assailant is the knight who turned on him and joined Morgana, what does he do? HE LOWERS HIS FUCKING SWORD

He leaves himself wide fucking open and vulnerable and Mordred seizes the opportunity. I understand wanting the moment of recognition for Arthur, but on what planet is a trained warrior going to drop his sword mid-attack because he recognizes his attacker as a dude who only just recently decided to forsake him? It's soooooo dumb

There was a whole sequence a few episodes back where Mordred and Arthur are sparring, the point of it was to show that Mordred has become a skilled swordsman. So what exactly was the point in having Mordred run Arthur through as soon as Arthur idiotically lets his guard down? This should've been a meticulously choreographed sword fight, with Mordred getting the upper hand and sticking Arthur properly. Not this nonsense. Look at Arthur's FACE! Oh, Mordred... 👉👈 do you maybe wanna be friends again- STAB ... guess not

Uther's been rolling in his grave but he's taking an extra tumble watching Arthur forget all his skills and training in that moment.

I do appreciate Arthur getting Mordred back though. Like that moment of merciless anger followed by the hurt and regret playing on Arthur's face, warring with surety and responsibility. It was good.

I've rewatched the big confession scene about 16 times just now.

I don't quite understand why Merlin took Arthur to the woods to begin with. Instead of bringing him to the med tent in the battlefield or back to Camelot. What was the reason?

Merlin saying it feels strange (to use magic freely in front of Arthur) and him just going 'yeah' completely deadpan makes me laugh every time.

I really feel like Arthur's head should be elevated at a further incline if he's going to be fed.

Gaius refusing to outright expose Merlin as the sorcerer but nonetheless letting Gwen figure it out on her own warms my heart.

My God Arthur is sitting there dying, feeling betrayed about his best friend 'lying' to him, and still he can't stop himself from looking at Merlin's mouth.

Percival summoned MUSCLE POWER

Hey um random but why does Gwaine even know where Merlin and Arthur are headed? Why would Gaius tell him?

Arthur looks at Merlin so lovingly after he's killed Morgana 😭😭

And now he's literally grabbing at the man's hand 😭 "just hold me, please"

That's gotta be the gayest death scene in television history. If you can watch that without thinking Arthur puts his hand on the back of Merlin's head because some part of him wants to bring him down for a kiss, or that "just hold me, please" is in any way shape or form a 'bros' thing, and certainly not at all an intentional mirror/callback to Isolde dying in Tristan's arms, then I'm afraid you are what we professionals refer to as a dumb-as-nails fucknugget, more commonly phrased as 'willfully ignorant'.

"All that you have dreamt of building has come to pass" yeah except for the whole, y'know, magic still being illegal thing.

I've said this before, but, while I'm sure there was a determined intention to have Arthur die in his armor, probably in some kind of attempt to make sure the audience knows he's died a warrior's death, I *really* think it was kinda stupid that Merlin never removed it, despite Arthur being weak, despite the fact that there was something like five days between him getting stabbed and him actually dying, despite that for the duration of that time they were traveling or hiding out. Merlin managed to produce a cloak to put on Arthur, why did he need the full armor on that whole time? Like even if they left the chainmail on, those plates on his shoulder were just getting in the way, and it looked quite uncomfortable.

Also not for nothing but Lancelot got like, every flower in the forest surrounding lush verdant greens in his death boat, Arthur gets a bunch of sticks.

It suddenly occurs to me, watching this now, that the reason Leon/Percival is such a common side pairing in Merthur fics, is because these two motherfuckers are the only original Knights of the Round Table to survive the series. 🤦‍♀️ I dunno how I failed to notice that before now. My stupidity amazes me.

I'm *really* glad they decided to do this scene with Gwen wearing the Pendragon red dress instead of the black mourning dress. Yes she looks fabulous in it but it's more the symbolism than the 'reality' - with Gwen wearing her house's colors it represents a continuation rather than a finality. Camelot will go on, Gwen will undoubtedly end the war on magic and with Morgana dead (and frankly, I think by now she already brought about the death of all the angry incel type rulers in Albion) there stands to reason her reign will begin with a period of peace, possibly longer than Arthur's. We kind of have to assume that the 'time the poets speak of' is, inevitably, Gwen's reign - which only came about through Arthur's death. It's a little bit toooo subtle in my opinion, but at the same time, I understand the need for the focus on Merlin and Arthur - after all, this show was their journey - not leaving much time to focus on Gwen and Camelot in the aftermath of Arthur's death.

I will just say, the first time I watched this that fucking truck scared the ever living shit out of me. I also just immediately, viscerally hated that scene and declared it invalid - but I think it was because the truck made me jump out of my skin. It has since grown on me, particularly once I started reading 'Arthur Returns' fic.

Everything beyond this point is post-series spec and headcanon, so if that's not your jam you can exit safe in the knowledge that as usual, if there's anything worth commenting on in the S5 extras, I will create a separate post!

For those interested, my go-to post-series fic is We Begin Again by katherynefromphilly I fully headcanon this series as the continuation of the series.

I have a lot of thoughts about Gwen and Merlin post-Camlann.

For one, poor fucking Gwen. She's lost her father, her brother, and her husband, all by what, age 30? That's rough. And who knows what happened to her mom, that was pre-series and I don't think it was ever mentioned.

Merlin, dear god poor Merlin. First of all, I just wanna say straight off that my instinctive headcanon about Merlin was that he never returned to Camelot. I couldn't really say why exactly. I just don't think he could stand being there after Arthur's death. But practically speaking, Merlin's still got Aithusa to deal with, that dragon needs some godsdamned house training asap. He's still the last Dragonlord, it's reasonable to assume he'd immediately take that on considering Aithusa is partially responsible for Arthur's death (the sword Mordred killed Arthur with, only succeeded in killing Arthur because it had been forged in Aithusa's fire-breath) so he's either going to attempt to train the bad behaviors out of Aithusa, or...well...

The only thing is, I do not believe Merlin would abandon Gwen, or Gaius. So my hc is inherently flawed. I do think Merlin probably spend a couple months with his mum, and I do think he ultimately settled near lake Avalon waiting for Arthur's return.

But I do wonder, what must their relationship have been like? Gwen, surely, would've sought his guidance in establishing laws governing the use of magic. And surely, peace cannot last indefinitely, so Merlin absolutely would've defended Camelot and protected Gwen. There's just no way he could've completely turned his back on them, but I doubt he could bear living in Camelot. And Gwen is both strong and practical enough to get on without him there 24/7, even though I'm sure she'd miss him.

I also think she would've found love again. Whether with Leon, as many people hc, or someone else not in the series.

ANYWAY.

Thanks to everyone who came on this journey with me. I will post comments on the extras if I have anything worth saying - and I think I'll do a master post linking all these episode posts after I clean them up once I get time to sit at a computer and do so. Until then! 💙💚

(Gif source) (h/t @shut-up-merlin)

#bbc merlin #bbc merlin spoilers #merlin #merlin spoilers #merthur #onceandfuturerewatch #5x12 #5x13 #5x12 the diamond of the day pt 1 #5x13 the diamond of the day pt 2 #bbc merlin 5x12 #bbc merlin 5x13 #merlin 5x12 #merlin 5x13 #the diamond of the day #the diamond of the day pt1 #the diamond of the day pt2 #for the love of Camelot

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catradoraism · 4 years

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So as a veteran who had to suffer through the slow burn plus hiatuses plus uncertainty plus censorship realities... How did you feel when 1. Adora transformed holding dying Catra 2. The kiss

my brain was just incoherent screeching for the entirety of save the cat idek what else to say it’s my fav ep for a reason. but that scene definitely made me feel emotions i didn’t know were possible to feel. and the Kiss, ok so some bastard who didn’t censor their spoilers, spoiled the fucking confession for me 😑, i was still 9ish eps in. but i was still apprehensive lmao i was like “ok but that’s like a Platonic ily right? there’s no way catradora is gonna b canon canon.” yeah even tho i literally knew there was a canon ily i was like “nah no way that’s just gals being pals.” like i was gonna interpret it as romantic anyway but i thought they were gonna keep the ily ambiguous so that it can be seen as either platonic or romantic to get past the censors. i actually didn’t think we were gonna get canon romantic catradora until catra said “adora doesn’t want me, not like i want her.” thats what made me go “oh they’re actually gonna do this holy shit.” i didn’t even cry when they kissed i was just so overwhelmed and stunned that i didn’t know how to react at all. also idk if u guys remember that weird period of time after s5 just came out and ppl barely ate or slept well same lmao after i finished s5 i slept like four hours i physically could not sleep dhdhfjfj the entirety of the whole season was just so much to process i was just That overwhelmed by it and like i’ve been shipping catradora since s1 came out and i thought princess prom was the gayest it was ever gonna get. the payoff of waiting was worth it tho

#asks #i physically couldnt watch s5 for another month #it was too much for my heart #once this girl used the confession as a tiktok sound and it threw me off guard so much that i physically threw my phone at the wall

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pixelsbichoice · 6 years

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Ranking Choices series by how Gay they are

A review no one asked for but an important one nonetheless

EDIT: Updated for latest books 6/29/19

The Freshman - While Zack, Kaitlyn, Becca, and Zig make this a sweet Gay Squad, the book has prominent bi-erasure if you date a man and forces you to deal with toxic Het Drama for multiple books that leaves you begging for the sweet release of diamond death to never come - 4/10 Gay but at what cost

The Crown and the Flame - Kenna is a bisexual Queen, but the fact that they don't give Dom a male li until awkwardly at the very end is tragic - 5/10 Could be gayer

Most Wanted - Look Sam is a Lesbian Icon(tm) but the narrative pushes for Sam and Dave - 3/10 Pretty Het

Rules of Engagement - Forces the MC to be with a man, doesn't give Party Twin a female li until the third book, and older brother's het drama is insufferable - 2/10 Some gay but too much straight to try

Endless Summer - MC can be a guy or a girl. Pretty gay, but the female lis are not treated as well as the male ones, also there are a lot of straight couples and the fact that Pirate Queen Yvonne ends up with a man? Tragic(tm) - 5/10 gay but could be gayer

LoveHacks - Points for the bi black man and the lesbians, but the first book paywalls its only female li to shit, only has the MC date men, and has Brooke end up with a man instead of Seerena - 3/10 Gay but too Het to handle

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor - Nothing but love a respect for my lesbian ghost girlfriend, but you have to pay to stay together (but it is only 17 diamonds and that is a bargain these days) - 8/10 Lots of lesbian love but at a cost

The Royal Romance - Largely forced to spend time with a man, has only one female li even though Olivia is literally right there, and has Penelope get with Kiara's brother even though Kiara is literally right there - 3/10 Very Het

Hero - MC can be a guy or a girl. Kenji is a BIcon but it takes a while to meet the only female li, also the Poppy and Dax het drama is too much - 6/10 Decently gay and has potential

High School Story - MC can be a guy or a girl. Besides the fact that we have to deal with the Het Tragedy that are Brian, Max, Kara, the dumb Autumn love triangle, and what the ever loving fuck is that set up your Dad with Emma's Mom nonsense, these books give a lot of LGBT+ rep - 7/10 Gen Z is the Gayest Gen

It Lives in the Woods - MC can be a guy or a girl. Gay Icon right here, we stan our Trans King(tm) King Kang, Ava and Stacy are female li legends, Lily is our beautiful Lesbian Queen, nothing like the raw gay energy of swinging a barbed wire bat at the undead - 15/10 GAY ICON

Home for the Holidays - One female LI, but at what cost? Can't play as a guy and forced to have dated one (1) man. Don't even get me started on Nick Peralta - 1/10 Literally ever Het Hallmark Christmas movie ever so RUN

Red Carpet Diaries - It feels like it should be pretty gay between the BIcon that is Seth, the Lesbian Legend that is Teja, and the absolute QUEEN that is Victoria, but man does it throw that all away to be SUPER FREAKING STRAIGHT between Matt and Hunt and paywalling the fuck out of Victoria - 3/10 RIP Gay potential

Perfect Match - MC can be a guy or a girl. Can choose to have your perfect match be a guy or a girl. A beautiful array of lis to choose from and they can all be yours because PB said Polyamory Rights! Even though there is some Het stuff with Nadia and Steve, it is actually tolerable. The President can also be a black lesbian and that's the America I want to live in - 10/10 Living my best gay thot life

Bloodbound - Even love interests whom? Sure you get two wonderful female love interests, Lily and the ultimate BI QUEEN Kamilah, but forget ever hanging out with them. This is the JAX AND ADRIAN SHOW ONLY BABEEE - 4/10 Not even a cheap Priya scene can help, PB said fuck wlw

Veil of Secrets - MC can be a guy or a girl. Ms. Harlenay is a Lesbian icon. Kate is a true BI disaster and the fact that we can only get with her romantically at the end of the book is the Biggest Tragedy of Choices - 6/10 It's fun and gay until you die alone bc you don't have enough diamonds

America's Most Eligible - MC can be a guy or a girl. You can thot it up and kiss so many people, Mackenzie is the only female li you can hang out with most of the time and there was one weird scene where Adam and Derek were super "no homo"??? - 6/10 Gay potential but oof the Het

Desire & Decorum - Only one female li, but she is Amazing. Mr. Chambers gay ass is the real MVP. God bless our non-homophobic gay ally of a dad (rip). But still this book got a lot of Het nonsense bc of the time period - 4/10 Press F to pay respect to our gay ancestors

Across The Void - MC can be a guy or a girl. Even number of lis with even screen time and your siblings can be gay too if they weren't so annoying and stealing your screen time - 7/10 Gay but it's hard to read

Big Sky Country - MC can be a guy or a girl. If you are a wlw, there is a lot of Het nonsense and it is hard to be with the female lis. If you are a mlm, ooh boy is this book Really Gay. Like literally every guy wants your city dick. Still there is some Het stuff - 6/10 Average; Life is what you Gay it

High School Story: Class Act - MC can be a guy or a girl. You can choose the gender of the li you are forced to have a crush on so that is nice. If you play as a guy your twin can be a Lesbian Icon and Erin can like girls but if you play as a girl it's like super het. Don't even get me started on Natalie and Clint - 6/10 Gay but oof

It Lives Beneath - MC can be a guy or a girl. Great even bunch of lis and our gay little brother is the most wholesome thing - 8/10 Good gay content minus you know all the Gore and Death

The Elementalists - MC can be a guy or a girl. Let’s hear it for Ace rep! Except the imbalance of li scenes and how Beckett is constantly forced onto you continues to put this book on thin ice, especially with the lack of flirting options for wlw - 5/10 Gay but lesbian struggles

A Courtesan of Rome - Forced to kiss men. Female characters treated like shit. Sabina stans deserved better. But Gay brother can get his happy gay romance. Caesar/Cleopatra/MC threesome said bi rights. Parents are the biggest gay allies. The biggest disappointment is the untapped potential - 3.5/10 RIP to anyone who hoped to romance Cleopatra

The Heist: Monaco - MC can be a guy or a girl. Allows you to choose gender of one your lis. Has the potential to have 3 female lis who are all iconic. But makes you pay for not 1 but 2 women crew members so having an all women crew is a struggle - 8/10 Let's go Lesbians!

Update:

Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance - Everyone thinks you and Logan are dating even if you haven’t romanced him in the slightest. Gay rep in minor characters but at what cost. - 3/10 We been knew of the het nonsense since we saw the tagline

Open Heart - MC can be a guy or a girl. If you are guy this book is great. Seriously Dr. ER always down for the BJ (sorry homophobes he BI!✨). If you are woman, HAHAHAHa. Only one female li who is forced to hate you for a few chapters. Seriously Sienna and Aurora and Kyra are right freaking there just give the wlw something!!! - 4/10 Gay but could do so much better

Passport to Romance - MC can be a guy or a girl. Even number of love interests except for the fact that one of the female li has a boyfriend for 75 percent of the book. Still this book is dreadfully boring or annoying which is sad because Sumire and Ahmed are wonderful. - 7/10 Gay but forgettable

Wishful Thinking - Story has MC spend most time with the two male lis, but MC, Anna, and Ellen working together to take down corrupt politicians ala Charlie’s Angels is awesome! The fact that you can sleep with Ellen coming out of nowhere like a dark horse? Amazing! - 5/10 Gay potential

Nightbound - MC can be a guy or a girl. Even number of love interests, but recent changes make it obvious the book wants you to lean towards Nik. Barely any scenes with Vera or Katherine. There is a gay fae and rock troll love story but you have to pay for it - 4/10 A fun supernatural story PB is forcing to be the next great het romance

Platinum - Can choose for your two main love interests Avery and Raleigh to be male or female which means you are not forced to romance men unless you want to! The women are so pretty it hurts. Get to kiss beautiful women for freeeee. Shoutout to non-binary audience. Every song is bop that fills me with gay pride. Only major downfall is you can’t choose to play as a guy. - 9/10 Move over Hayley Kiyoko there is a new Lesbian pop star in town

And Sunkissed is still up in the air while The Royal Heir is on the thinnest of fucking ices.

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amplesalty · 4 years

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A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) & Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street (2019)

One, two, Freddy’s coming for you...

I feel like I’ve mentioned Nightmare 2 a few times on here but it never had it’s own dedicated entry so I’ve had a rewatch of it on my mind for a while now. That was only hastened when I recently learned of ‘Scream, Queen!’, a documentary cantered around Mark Patton who plays the lead character Jesse in 2.

Amongst the less than favourable reviews Nightmare 2 has, it also has the reputation of the ‘gayest horror movie ever’ which lead to the typecasting of Patton and him walking away from his acting career. It’s not something I was immediately aware of on my initial viewing of it, certainly there are a lot of moments that with that in mind stand out upon rewatching and a few that are less than subtle, such as Jesse going to a gay bar in the middle of the night only to run into his gym teacher. Some of it seems a little too much like people trying to read into things that aren’t there, like it seems people point out an early scene where Jesse gets into a tussle with one of his classmates Grady during a softball game. Grady rips Jesse’s trousers and they have a bit of a roll around on the grass before being separated. There are doubtless hundreds of examples of kids getting into fights like that across TV and cinematic history that people wouldn’t point out as examples of homoeroticism. But when you couple that with moments like a later scene where Jesse runs away from his girlfriend as they’re about to have sex, only to seek solitude with Grady and they have this exchange:

“There’s something inside of me. And last night it made me go into my sister’s room. And tonight with Lisa in the cabana, it started happening again.” “I think you are seriously losing it, bro.” “I’m scared, Grady. Something is trying to get inside my body.” “Yeah, and she’s female, and she’s waiting for you in the cabana. And you wanna sleep with me.”

You can perhaps see why people might start drawing conclusions from other scenes.

That ‘something’ is Freddy who is seemingly manifesting himself through Jesse into the real world. Up until that point though, the lines have been very blurry as to whether or not Freddy is actually back or whether Jesse is just going crazy, caught up in the wild stories of this vengeful killer from beyond the grave and becoming some sort of copycat.

It’s that part of the movie that I really like, this gray area where you’re not sure exactly what’s happening. It’s something the Nightmare series is able to explore with its switching between the normal and dream worlds but it’s taken to another level here, rather than just use that to build suspense as to whether a character is in danger due to Freddy being present in the dream world, you can see Jesse descending into this madness and are left to wonder whether or not he’s the one actually the one committing these murders.

Things can be a little disorientating at times due to the editing which I’m not sure is intentional or due to them making cuts. I think there’s a couple of occasions where things will pick up in the morning with Jesse wearing one set of clothes, then jumping to lunch time at school or in the evening back home where he’s wearing different clothes, inplying a day or more has passed. I suppose it does add to the atmosphere in a way but it also comes off a bit weird to me.

The movie is pretty much entirely in the real world so it lacks the creative and unique kills that often arise when people slip into slumber and into Freddy’s realm. But it does feature a scene where Freddy finally emerges into the real world and terrorises a high school party. You don’t really get that widespread sense of panic elsewhere in the series, there’s often that sort of low level of ongoing dread once the group of kids realise what’s happening and fear the next time they fall asleep but Freddy often kills people when they’re alone so it’s a change to see dozens of kids trying to escape, trampiling each other as they try and break through a gate or climb a wall. Apparently Wes Craven didn’t like this scene as it made Freddy look silly by having him surrounded by a bunch of muscular jocks. I find that a little strange though since, yeah Freddy might not be the most imposing figure size wise but his body is pretty much one giant, oozing sore complete with knives for fingers so I’m pretty sure he’s going to come out on top in terms of intimidation. Not to mention all the supernatural shit he’s seemingly conjuring like turning the pool into a boiling pot and summoning up pillars of fire.

I feel like this is where things take a sharp downturn, having the manifestation of Freddy emerge kinda removes all doubt and also takes Jesse out of the movie until the very end. It just feels a little anti climatic to have this big final battle suddenly fought by Jesse’s girlfriend who falls back on the trope of ‘I know you’re still in there, I love you!’ as she implores Jesse to fight back and finally overcome Freddy. So much for that gay subtext if it’s hetro love that finally saves the day.

Going into this rewatch, I had this built up very highly in my head which I don’t think it was able to live up to. Possibly because this years Invisible Man has surpassed it in my head as the really good example of that ambigious horror I like so much. Like Elisabeth Moss in that film, Patton has a real good look to him here in getting across the anxiety that Jesse is going through.

And to draw comparison to another Universal horror, there’s something of a Jekyll and Hyde or Wolfman to Jesse, the way he worries about this transformation that he’s going through and about the thing inside him coming out. During that scene at Grady’s place, Freddy emerges from Jesse’s body almost like a butterfly breaking free of it’s cacoon. Maybe that’s what everyone is talking about when it comes to the gay themes, that sense of discovery taking place amongst young adults and the angst surrounding whether or not they really want to reveal their true selves to a world that, as we’re unfortunately discovering more and more these days, still isn’t ready to accept everyone even nearly 40 years after this movie came out.

So for the documentary – Scream, Queen is an appropriate name for more than just the play on the ‘scream queen’ moniker given to notable horror movie actresses like Jamie Lee Curtis, and the obvious double meaning with it being focused around Patton’s sexuality. There’s quite a few instances of him delivering screams during Nightmare 2 which is a little unusual for a male character in a horror movie, not least a lead like he was. Plus it’s a little unusual for a male to be the lead at all, ‘last girl’ and all that, especially in the Nightmare franchise, all the other ones I’ve seen so far are female led.

They talk about the negative reputation the movie has and highlight a lot of internet comments about the sexual themes, a lot of slurs in there and comments like ‘Jesse screams like a girl’. Well wouldn’t you if some burn victim grabbed you in your house, ran knived fingers across your face and then ripped the top of his head off to expose his brain? I don’t doubt for a second that there are scores of people out there who would write this off due to this, I would hope that those are just a minority and if people don’t like it that they have legitimate reasons for that.

It’s a very eye opening story because even after learning about all this ‘gay subtext’ surrounding the movie and Patton’s departure from acting, I hadn’t really thought about the wider reasons behind that. Like, you hear about him being typecast and you just think that he doesn’t want to be pigeon holed into just playing one type of character or that it was hard to find work in those roles because not many of them existed. But it’s much deeper and more disturbing than that, delving into the emergence of the disease into the wider public knowledge during the 1980’s and the panic surrounding that. They show archived headlines and TV clips, with one member of the public being interviewed on the news saying “what they’re doing is abnormal...they’re not fit, they’re not human beings”. It’s painted as a bit of a witchhunt, with tabloids trying to out any closeted Hollywood stars and Patton tells a story of being duped into divulging information on his own boyfriends illness. With blood tests implemented for any prospective actors and him being advised to look and act a certain way to be more palatable to casters, he’s being asked to deny who he truly is.

For as much as the movie looks at the darker period of his formative years and him walking away from Hollywood, it’s encouraging to see his re-emergence into the public eye and embracing the fandom surrounding the movie, taking part in conventions and screenings that shun the negativity and instead see the role as empowering, encouraging people going through similar situations and being something of a role model.

The film culminates in a sit down talk between Patton and Nightmare 2’s writer David Chaskin who he feels has thrown him under the bus whenever talk of the ‘gay subtext’ has come up, having long denied any such thing before slowly changing his story and claiming that it was the casting that ruined the movie. Just before this there is footage of Patton and Jack Sholder at a convention where Sholder comes across as a little condescending. He’s basically telling Patton that directing his ire at Chaskin is misplaced and that he should drop the whole thing given it’s been 30 years. There’s an element of truth to that but I think it’s understandable that Patton would feel that way, especially when he points out that it’s only recently that Chaskin has taken ownership of the subtext now that we’re living in a more understanding time where it’s perhaps viewed as a brave move to introduce this kind of element. It’s going to be hard to look past someone enabling more vitriol by pinning problems on you.

The talk between Chaskin and Patton is a little awkward and it comes across like they’re there for different purposes, Chaskin trying to lighten the mood periodically where Patton keeps a serious tone, challenging Chaskin on some of the comments he’s made.

There’s one in particular where Chaskin suggests that the movie could be played at conversion camps....yikes.

Patton openly saying beforehand that he’s looking for an apology but I don’t know if he exactly got that. Chaskin says he hopes Patton can forgive him and that there are previous comments he made that he regrets but it comes across a little laboured. Maybe there was more said whilst the cameras weren’t rolling or maybe Patton is just accepting what little he can get from the experience in order to bring some closure to the whole thing.

#A Nightmare on Elm Street #A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 #Freddy's Revenge #Scream Queen #My Nightmare on Elm Street

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just-castlevania-imagines · 6 years

Text

A List of Things My Little Sister Said While Watching Castlevania S1

I finally made her watch it and I documented her commentary

"Aw they're so cute. I ship them"

"Why did they kill Lisa though????"

"He (Trevor) looks like a puppy"

"God damn it Trevor"

"This is why you get beat up"

"Cronch"

"You can't tell me hes been eating that piece of jerky the whole time"

"Jesus is coming for him"

"That's a whole lot of dick breath"

"That's not very Christian"

"Snatched" (every time Trevor used the whip)

"Bro be looking like Voldemort-oh shit"

She screamed a lot when there were body parts and eyeballs and guts

"He keeps flashing the left tiddy and I kind of like it." She then went on a 5 min rant about how pretty he is and how she wants to give Trevor a haircut

"The old man (sypha's grandfather) are the people who work before retail and trevor is the people who work after"

"That's like 6 bears worth of fur on his shoulders. What a BROAD Baby."

"Why is Trevor so relatable?"

"Oh that's...that's a thick boy.." (cyclops scene)

"Oh that's his wife right?!"

"Sypha could be my lesbian messiah"

"Ew this thot again. I knew he'd come back cause his voice sounds too important to not make a comeback."

"He looks like the guy from le bossu (hunchback of Notre dame), you know Rollo?" She means Claude Frollo

"Trevor is like me during exams."

"Yes Sypha." (Anytime Sypha verbally eviscerated someone)

"Heres Johnny!"

"Give them a shovel. Wheres the shovel? This could all be solved with a shovel."

"Oh! Backhand with the back of his ring hand." (Priest slapping and belittling Trevor)

She complained about Trevor leaving the Cape and not going back for the cape

She laughed like crazy when the priest who lost his eye, got shot in the other

That whole fight she laughed like a mad man

"This beautiful fuck."

"Trevor makes me feel like a powerful heterosexual."

"Omg that's a demon dog."

"I'm going to quote this guy (demon) during religion class now"

"Oooooh my lesbian messiah"

"You tell em my lady"

"Oh Trevor, you're so handsome.."

"Oh damn"

"If they needed salt they could just throw me at them"

"Why does his whip one shot-oh. Oh thanks Trevvy"

"Sypha's so cool."

"Lol she saved herself and Trevor kinda just fell"

"How long is that fucking whip?"

"Home girl got upper body strength"

"Oh my God Trevor you Fuck"

"Trevor you beautiful mistake"

She looked at me with a face that can only be described as I didnt pay for this, as Alucard rose shirtless from a coffin

"How is he floating?"

"Why is he so pretty?"

"Omg it looks like hes wearing a thong"

"No Trevor that's the exact opposite of what you were suppose to do"

Alucard hisses "that's the gayest thing I've ever heard."

She laughed a lot

"Fuck him up Adrian."

"Oh! We getting spicy tonight boys. This is one spicy fight."

"YEET"

"WHY DIDN'T HE FEEL IT, DOES HE NOT HAVE A DICK"

I can still rip your throat out "promise?"

"Even in death Trevor's such a fucking mood"

"That's the gayest pose I've ever seen"

"Where'd he get the shirt from?"

"I like how everyone's in period clothing and Adrian's rocking a deep V"

"And we disappear into Trevor's abs that is how you end a season."

"I like looking at Sypha."

- Sincerely Mod Wall Chicken

#castlevania #castlevania netflix #adrian tepes #adrian alucard tepes #trevor belmont #sypha belnades #vlad dracula tepes #lisa tepes #spoiled chicken #not an ask

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thebumblebyog · 6 years

Text

The Next Monday (complete version)

My longest fic yet! Guess what kids? It’s getting EVEN GAYER!!!!!!!!

Izzie took a deep breath before walking into the hall of Clayton Prep. She thought for a moment and undid the top button on her favorite blouse (the last week at Clayton was casual dress) made it halfway down the hall, thought again, and re-buttoned it. Izzie walked the rest of the way down the hall, stopped, and reached for the button again.

“Fucking-” Izzie abruptly turned the corner and lightly but angrily slapped the wall repeatedly. She hated this. Liking someone was not supposed to be this hard. She’d been on plenty of dates, with girls and boys, and none of them had ever gotten her all flustered like this.

Then again, those people had all made the first move and she had decided that dating them was worth a shot. Come to think of it, she had never asked anyone out before; she’d never been interested enough in anyone to bother. And if she had, who would turn her down? She was amazing. But with Newton it was different. Izzie was absolutely terrified that Casey was going to turn her down, but she knew that she had to ask anyway, because there was no way she could be okay with not knowing.

“Wow, that’s the gayest thought I’ve ever had,” Izzie took a deep breath. She had to hype herself up for this. She did things both ways, but she didn’t do them halfway. This was just like a big race; you had a goal to reach and an opponent to beat. It’s just that this time the goal was a date with Newton and her opponent was gay anxiety. She closed her eyes and pictured Newton. She looked surprised...then flattered...then so, so happy as she blushed just a little bit, and she was nodding. Izzie smiled. Newton leaned in closer. She was gonna do this, and Newton was gonna say yes.

“You okay, Iz?”

Izzie snapped out of it and jumped back, seeing the girl she had just been picturing kissing in real life made this seem a lot less doable.

“Yeah, I’m just...really tired,” she said in the dumbest tone she had ever heard. Dear god, why was she lifting her arm like that? This was the worst thing anyone had ever done with a limb. It was too fast, it was too jerky, and it was at an insane angle.

“Oh, well do you want to get a coffee before first period?” Newton asked, not noticing that Izzie was acting weird or at least pretending not to. “The snack bar has coffee, right?”

This was perfect; this was her chance.

“Sorry, I really gotta get to class,” Izzie slipped past Newton and walked away as fast as she could.

“Oh, well, I’ll see you at practice I guess,” Newton responded, sounding confused.

Izzie waved as she walked off but didn’t turn around. She couldn’t have blown that much worse than she had. Apparently she was going to have to hype herself up some more, because gay anxiety was not going to be an easy opponent to beat.

Casey waved back to Izzie, but she didn’t turn around.

“Fuck,” she sighed, leaning her head back against the lockers. That pretty much confirmed it; Izzie was avoiding her. She was sure Izzie had been trying to kiss her…She was pretty sure anyway. It had at least been pretty obvious that she had been trying to kiss Izzie and there sure hadn’t been any objections before Elsa had decided to interrupt. Then again, probably better that it had happened then and not thirty seconds later when they would have been-

“No! No gay thoughts yet!” Casey half-heartedly banged the back of her head on the locker she was leaning against. There she went again: thinking like she didn’t have a boyfriend, like she didn’t have to figure this out. She had to talk to Izzie about this; Evan too. She wanted to do this right, but that was never going to happen if Izzie was too weirded out by their almost-kiss to talk to her. Unless…was Izzie mad? They had just gotten out of a fight about boyfriends and cheating and, well, Casey had been pretty obviously trying to kiss her while Evan was waiting downstairs. Maybe Izzie just didn’t want to talk to someone who would do that. Maybe Izzie was just too good for her. Maybe she was just like her mom; maybe she was a cheater.

The fancy warning-bell rang; Casey stood up straight and started walking to class, feeling like shit. She wanted to be with the right person, and she was starting to think that Izzie was the right person for her. But maybe she wasn’t the right person for Izzie if she couldn’t be trusted not to cheat. Maybe she didn’t deserve to be with Izzie…Maybe she didn’t deserve to be with anybody.

The stupid Disneyland-ride sounding bell rang and Izzie stood up, walking with purpose and focus. She had spent the last two classes appropriately visualizing her goal. First period she had spent freaking out and the second class she had spent…inappropriately visualizing her goal. Anyway, now she had it all figured out: she was going to have lunch with Newton; they were going to flirt, and Izzie was going to use her name a lot and make physical contact, and she was going to ask Newton out on a date and that beautiful, goofy bitch was going to say yes and then they were gonna make out.

“Okay, maybe dial it back a little,” Izzie said to herself, shaking her head as she walked into the cafeteria. She found Newton quickly and the butterflies came back. The lump in her throat and the pit in her stomach got progressively worse as she got closer to the table. God she was so hot and pretty and sweet and she looked so…sad. Why was she sad? Why was Newton sad?! Who needed to get hit?

“Hey, you okay?” Izzie said, ditching determination and anxiety for care and concern.

“I’m just…worried about bio,” Casey said, shrugging and shaking her head a little.

“But you got an A on your last test,” Izzie said, moving her hand a little closer to Newton’s, seeing a chance be a good friend and make a move at the same time, “You’re in the clear, right?” Casey Leaned back, putting her hands behind her head. Izzie drummed her hands on the table a little bit, trying to cover her tracks.

“I mean, I’ll pass, but a C? Colleges aren’t gonna like that.”

“Yeah, fastest girl in the state went to Clayton and we can’t take her because of a C her Sophomore year,” Izzie gave her a little shove, just so she could touch her, “Give yourself a break Newton; you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

Newton smiled. She smiled so big and sweet and it was just…the best. Izzie bit her lip like she always did when she was the good kind of nervous, like she had when she was at Newton’s party and she had known she was gonna kiss her. This was it; this was the moment.

“Oh my god,” Casey gasped, leaning forward abruptly; Izzie heart was pounding. She almost closed her eyes, leaned in, and kissed Newton right then and there.

“What?”

“You just admitted it!” Newton was bouncing up and down in her chair.

“Admitted what?!” Oh fuck, she knew. She knew and it was a big joke to her. Her best friend had a big, gay crush on her, and Newton was just gonna laugh in her face about it.

“That I’m faster than you!”

“I did not!” Izzie came back to herself a bit. Being competitive always calmed her down, “You’re the fastest girl in the state because I’m out of that running. I’m already the fastest girl in the world, wouldn’t be fair of me to take both spots.”

“Pffft, whatever, second place,” Newton went back to eating her garbage health food. This was driving Izzie crazy; she had to just ask already or she was gonna lose it.

“So, you free this weekend?”

“No, as usual I’m very expensive.”

“Please, I could have you for a strawberry slurpy.”

“Hey, I have high standards: grape or nothing.”

“Either way you’re still putting out for a buck fifty,” Izzie said before giving Newton the bedroom eyes, back on track with her flirting plan, “Now if you’d said cotton candy flavored…”

“There is…no way that that’s a real thing.”

“Oh, it is, and it’s magic.”

“How come I’ve never heard of it then?”

“They’re crazy hard to find; I haven’t had one in like five years,” Izzie cocked an eyebrow, “But, now that I’m single? If somebody found me one?” Izzie spread her legs and licked her lips, pretending that it was a joke.

“Ugh, you’re gross,” Newton laughed as she started to blush. It was working. Time to take her shot.

“So, you gonna let me buy you a slurpy and take advantage this Friday?” Izzie said, smiling and giggling a little, trying not to make it obvious that the offer was completely genuine.

Newton laughed, but then she looked sad again. It was reserved, kind of held back, but Izzie still picked up on it.

“I actually have a date with Evan.”

Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. How had she not thought about Evan in all of this? Newton had a boyfriend. Like, an actual good boyfriend who wasn’t a lying, cheating bag of dicks. And she was getting in the middle of that. After all that shit Newton had been through with Elsa and with her and Nate and…god she was such a dick. Newton deserved better.

“Oh…shit, I’m sorry I…didn’t think of that.”

The silence between them was long and strained.

“I mean, we can go some other time.”

“No, just forget it, you should be with the person you love.”

“Izzie, I-“

“I gotta go, I forgot to…I just gotta go.”

Izzie stood to leave, but Casey grabbed her hand. They both froze for a moment, lost in their touch. Izzie broke the pause and tried to pull her arm away, but Casey stood, pulling her close. Izzie looked down at her shoes.

“What’s going on Izzie?”

“I don’t want to come between you and your boyfriend, Newton,” Izzie finally let herself look into Casey’s eyes; they looked so hurt, “But I’m scared. I’m so, so scared that you’re gonna go off with him and your family and that you’ll get all caught up in your own life and that you’ll just…forget about me. That you’ll just…” She couldn’t say it. The tears were welling up. Newton’s gently held Izzie’s face in her hands and tilted her head so their eyes met.

“I’m not gonna leave you, Izzie,” Casey gently pressed her forehead against Izzie’s, “We made a promise, remember?”

Izzie laughed bitterly, “No, I forgot the gayest, dorkiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Well I didn’t,” Newton squeezed her a little tighter, “I’m scared too; I have to figure things out with Evan, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen with him, but I’m keeping my promise, Izzie. We’re never leaving each other; you’re stuck with me now, no matter what.”

Izzie wiped away a tear and smiled, “I think I can deal with that.”

This silence was just as long, but it was perfect, comfortable…so of course, Casey decided to ruin it.

“You should undo the top button;” Newton said before snorting, “You look like a nun.”

“Please, you're not ready for this.”

Newton smiled, “Nah...soon though.”

#atypical #cizzie #casey x izzie #izzie x casey #high school #fanfic #fan fiction #lgbt #bisexual #lesbian #romance

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rivetgoth · 6 years

Note

Any hot takes on 2001 maniacs (field of screams) that you'd like to share with us mere mortals

Oh I have… so fucking many. Whenever people ask me for 2001 Maniacs headcanons with no specifics I just get lost cuz I SERIOUSLY… DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE EXTENT OF TIME I’VE SPENT THINKING ABOUT 2001 MANIACS………

I’ve been thinking about the timeline of Harper’s life and specifically his struggle with sexuality & shit, the way I see it Ogre kinda implies that his version of Harper seen in Field of Screams is supposed to sort of be an older/more mature version of Giuseppe Andrews’ Harper, kind of combining Giuseppe’s Harper with Stanley Dyrector’s Harper in the original 1964 but like… added homosexuality (and for the record Ogre’s Harper is SO fucking similar to Stanley Dyrector’s Harper, I rewatched the original Two Thousand Maniacs! a few weeks ago and I seriously had forgotten how strong the parallel is, much more than Giuseppe Andrews’ Harper imo - And this makes sense, cuz Ogre said he grew up with the original Two Thousand Maniacs and even remembers when he saw it for the first time as a kid LMAO). So the way I kinda see it is that Giuseppe Andrews’ Harper is a reflection of what “our” Harper was like when he was a kid. Since Giuseppe is considerably younger than Nivek anyway.

Assuming Harper is around Ogre’s real age at the time of filming, which was 46, Harper woulda been born in the late 1810s, for time period context.So I think when Harper was younger, like in his teens into his 20s, he was seriously like, the town black sheep and just so fucking notoriously rebellious, just the worst troublemaker and specifically ladykiller who just flirted with and fucked EVERY girl in town. He’s always loved death, he’s always been a freak, in the comic he was demanding Pleasant Valley go to war before the massacre even happens and is even the one who first fought back against the soldiers who were causing trouble by straight up murdering one by ripping his heart out (again, BEFORE the massacre). I think Harper’s response to being gay in the ultra conservative Deep South of the 1800s was just to repress it and instead go after as many women as possible, and to channel a lot of his feewings into like, murdering animals and stuff cuz he really had no fucking healthy outlet at all for everything he had pent up over the years.

But there had to be, like, an in-between from that Harper and the Harper we see in Field of Screams, and I think the massacre definitely did a number on his mental state but I think there had to be a transition before that to the slightly more respectable, much more charismatic and mature Harper we see in Field of Screams, who’s clearly admired by even the highest ranking members of Pleasant Valley (B- Buckman…). I have this whole headcanon for that that I’ve shared before where I basically think that Harper and Milk Maiden were engaged for awhile… I think that they were really good fwiends and fuckbuddies and like, on and off dating and they were “coworkers” since Milk Maiden would screw around with Harper while he was doing doctor bullshit, and Harper really does genuinely love spending time with Milk Maiden and they have a lot of shared interests (murder) and everyone ever agrees that Milk Maiden is like the sexiest woman ever, so Harper was kinda hoping that it’d get rid of his ~homosexual urges~ if he settled down with Milk Maiden, and in kind of a panic he proposed to her and they got engaged and everyone in Pleasant Valley was soooo happy and just going on about how PERFECT Milk Maiden and Harper were for each other and how Harper was SO LUCKY!!!! and Harper was like kind of terrified cuz as the wedding grew closer he was just. So not feeling it. But he tried to keep his chin up and stay positive!!!1111!!!1 telling himself that this would like finally make him normal :))

And of course being how they are neither of them were waiting till after marriage to fuck LOL and I think one night Milk Maiden just confronted Harper and was like… “We don’t … have to get married. You realize that right.” And Harper fucking panicked and was like WHWHWH AT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHAT?? WHAT??? WHAT???? and Milk Maiden basically like fucking told him that she… knows… If a man isn’t interested in her. And she’s like “I know men well enough to know that if a man isn’t interested in me then he’s not interested in women at all. Harper.” and Harper just vehemently denied that but after relaxing a little bit he did like finally admit that he… maybe wasn’t… ready to settle down yet after all :) And there wasn’t really any bad blood between em because Milk Maiden would much rather not be tied down to someone who isn’t interested in her anyway cuz that means she’s free to just fuck men who actually are into her, so they found a way to kinda call off the engagement in a way that didn’t raise questions and they continued to be good friends / murder buddies / friends with benefits (Ogre said that they still get off together to murder even though Harper doesn’t like having sex with her which is .. I’m not even dissecting that now but that’s what he SAID) so things ended well overall, but it was also a REALLY BIG SCARY TURNING POINT for Harper because, well. It kinda hits him that he was literally in the perfect position to be married to the most beautiful sought after woman in Pleasant Valley who he himself genuinely adores and likes spending time with but… it wasn’t… enough. To make him feel normal XDD and he still has no fucking interest in women at all. So it was… kind of. really horrific for Harper too.

And I really like this scenario, I’ve given a lot of thought to it cuz not only do I think it creates more depth to Harper and Milk Maiden’s relationship but I think it also really paints them both as… like… adults. It reminds you that they’re adults and that Harper has even come close to straight up marriage and been engaged and all that and idk it’s… good, I like it.

BUT YEAH I FEEL LIKE THAT KINDA SOBERS HARPER UP A LOT AND HE’S FORCED TO REALLY FACE HOW FUCKED UP HE IS and that was .. BEFORE the massacre. After the massacre things go even more downhill, I kind envision that it was the night of the massacre that made Buckman really come to love and admire Harper and see him as a real second in command, because in the comic, after Buckman was murdered that night Harper took over and tried to lead the people of Pleasant Valley away to defend themselves from the soldiers. So Harper took over for Buck and I feel like that really created a bond between Harper and Buckman (they were on good terms before though too, Harper most likely was the one who helped Granny give birth to the kids and I HC that Harper is their godfather but yeah) that obviously “is stronger than death” LOL, but that’s kind of miserable for Harper sometimes cuz it means not only does he have to deal with the misery of being fucking dead and cursed and all that but on top of that after repressing his stupid feelings forever his biggest crush of all time is suddenly constantly complimenting him and depending on him and gushing about how smart and loyal he is and Harper is like. Burning inside.

And. Speaking of. Burning Inside…. Ministry. Industrial music. Harper canonically (according to Tim Sullivan in the audio commentary) saw Trent Reznor and/or Marilyn Manson and fell in love and wanted to be just like them and steal their looks (a joke about how Trent and Manson stole Ogre’s looks LOL), which is supposedly why Harper as we see him in Field of Screams is decked out in piercings, black middle part, industrial band tattoos (you can definitely see Ogre’s Process tattoo in multiple shots, for example), etc. That woulda prolly been in the mid-early 90s, when Trent and Manson toured together and Trent had his iconic 90s goth middle part (in fact, they toured together with the band PIG, also very Harper-core for obvious reasons, for the Self Destruct Tour in 1994, IN LATE APRIL, and there was no concert the day of April 22, 1994… or was there?). Industrial music is the gayest music genre as you all should know, and a great place for self expression for stupid gay idiots who love death and blood, so… really really good outlet for Harper :) He’s like over 100 years old and just head over fucking heels for Trent Reznor to cope with being closeted in the Deep South for the last century which is… so… fucking unreal. Hey pig yeah you hey pig piggy pig pig pig!!

So yeah :))))))) Gay rights! -Harper Alexander

#2001 maniacs #ask #soft hooting #anonymous

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skeletonscribbles · 7 years

Text

I Burn, I Pine, I Perish (Chapter 1)

10 Things I Hate About You, but Reddie? It’s more likely than you think.

Title: I Burn, I Pine, I Perish Pairings: Reddie, Benverly, Mike/Bill/Stan Rating: we’ll call it a cool T for now Chapter: "I Want You To Want Me” (Ben) Summary: Padua High School, 1999 “But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you; Not even close; Not even a little bit; Not even at all.” or: when no respectable gays will date Eddie “Shrew” Kaspbrak, other, less respectable gays are forced to come out of the woodwork.

Read on Ao3!

Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Four / Chapter Five / Chapter Six / Chapter Seven / Chapter Eight / Finale

Ben Hanscom, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, was completely, totally, and utterly lost.

It was his first day at Padua High School, the public institution that the children of several of Maine’s small towns (including Ben’s new home, Derry) attended because said towns couldn’t afford to maintain their own high schools. It was also November, which meant that Ben was particularly conspicuous in that everyone else knew exactly where they were going, and he couldn’t even get it together well enough to find the guidance office.

He should be better at this by now. He was no stranger to transferring schools. His mother had been jumping from job to job since before he could remember, chasing higher paychecks and a better life, and that had meant that Ben’s adolescence was sort of a patchwork quilt of new schools and missed experiences. He’d never been in one place for long enough to really have friends, but that was okay. He knew that he’d get there eventually. For now, he was content with his mother, his cat, and his books.

No book in the world, though, could have prepared him for the enormity of Padua High School. This was the biggest school he’d ever attended, and so he reasoned that it was probably not the most embarrassing thing for him to be too turned around to find his counselor.

Still, he had a little time before the bell was set to ring. He could try.

“Um, excuse me,” he said timidly in the direction of a group of students, “I was wondering, um, if you could help…”

One of the students turned around, and Ben immediately realized that he’d made a mistake in choosing this clique to talk to. The boy he was looking at had rodent-like features, greasy, dark hair with frosted tips, and mean eyes. He sneered back at Ben, gaze dropping to the library copy of Harry Potter Ben had clutched to his chest.

“Who the fuck do you think you are, nerd?” The boy snatched Ben’s book out of his hand. “Wizards? That’s the gayest shit I’ve ever seen, and I have Eddie fucking Kaspbrak in my study hall.”

“You should set him up with this moonface,” another, taller boy jeered. “They could have wand practice together.”

“Shut up, Patrick. No one wants to hear about your fag fantasies.” A third boy shoved the second boy into the lockers. “And Henry, make this quick. We don’t want to be caught talking to trash for any longer than we have to.”

“Can I have my book back?” Ben tried, knowing full well that asking wouldn’t work.

Henry (of the rodent face and frosted tips) dangled the book in front of Ben’s face. “Oh, yeah, I’m just gonna let you leave with this dumb book. NOT.” He pulled the book back before Ben could grab it. “Do my homework for the rest of the year and you can have it.”

Oh, hell no. Ben wasn’t going to get himself stuck with a chump punishment on the first day.

“Give me my book,” he insisted, holding out his hand.

“Are you deaf?” Henry said, speaking slowly and loudly.

“I heard what you said. No deal. I want my book.” Ben punctuated his demand by ripping the book out of Henry’s hands. Henry stumbled backwards.

The expression on the boys’ faces had turned murderous, and it occurred to Ben that he might have made a huge mistake.

“You’re dead, nerd trash,” Henry roared, reaching for something in his pocket.

“After school, you idiot.” The third boy, who seemed to be the group’s ringleader, threw a hand out in front of Henry. “You can’t get caught with a knife again or you’ll get expelled. Idiot.”

The bell rang, and Ben began to back away.

“You’re dead,” Henry repeated, before following his group down the hall. “Dead.”

Well, Ben thought, I’ve made worse first impressions.

“Hey, Harry Potter kid!” A voice called out from down the hallway. Ben turned around, half-expecting it to be Henry again with a fresh round of threats.

It wasn’t, thank God. It was a dark-skinned kid in an X-Files t-shirt. Ben eyed him suspiciously.

“Me?” Ben asked carefully.

“Yeah.” The guy caught up with Ben and clapped him on the shoulder. Two other kids were now approaching from the end of the hallway. Ben feared the worst.

“What do you want?” Ben gripped his book tightly. “You can’t have this, it’s from the library.”

“Want?” The dark skinned kid laughed. “No, buddy, we just wanted to tell you that what you just did was freaking awesome.”

“Oh” Ben blinked. “It was?”

“Yes.” One of the other two boys stepped forward. He was dressed in a style that could really only be described as business-casual, and Ben thought he looked kind of funny next to the kid in the X-Files t-shirt, in an Odd Couple sort of way. “You just stood up to Padua’s biggest and meanest pack of idiot bullies.”

“They’ve been after us for yuh-years,” the third boy chimed in. Ben hadn’t noticed him, really, until he spoke, but once his attention had been called to the boy, Ben didn’t feel like he could focus anywhere else. There was something incredibly compelling about this quiet redhead, somehow. “Huh-how’d you do it?”

Ben shrugged. “I don’t really know. It’s my first day - I guess I just didn’t want them to mess that up.”

The other three exchanged delighted looks.

“First day,” beamed the dark-skinned boy, “that means you’re our tour for first period! Awesome. “Mike Hanlon, at your service.” He stuck out his hand for Ben to shake. Ben took it gratefully.

“Ben Hanscom.”

“Buh-Ben,” the redheaded kid smiled. “Nice. I’m Buh-Bill Denbrough.”

“And I’m Stanley Uris,” finished the business-casual boy, “but you can call me Stan. Pleasure to meet you, Ben Hanscom.”

“We’ll take you up to guidance, if that’s cool,” Mike offered. “It’s kind of impossible to find, otherwise. Mr. Keene keeps himself tucked away at the back of the school so that kids don’t bother him.”

“He’s wuh-writing a p-p-porn novel,” Bill volunteered helpfully. (Ben did not find this information helpful, but he appreciated the thought.)

“Thanks?” Ben said tentatively, looking between the three boys. “I appreciate…I mean, schools usually send me off with some weirdo from AV club, so.”

Mike covered his mouth to stifle a laugh, and Stan shoved his hands into his pockets, embarrassed.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with AV club!” Ben corrected hastily. “But…y’know what I’m saying. Right?”

“We know, yes,” Stan muttered, still a little red around the ears. “It’s one thing to be a geek, and another to talk incessantly about it.”

Ben nodded, relieved that they’d followed his train of thought. Mike was still laughing.

“Oh, man!” Mike wiped his eyes. “This guy’s got your number and he doesn’t even know you, Stan, holy cow…”

“We can’t all be on the football team, Michael,” Stan snapped.

“Let’s guh-go see Keene,” Bill insisted. “We’re l-late.”

Ben followed his new acquaintances up two flights of stairs and down a narrow hallway to the guidance office. He felt strangely comfortable in conversation with them, especially when Mike, a fellow Harry Potter fan, switched the subject to Hogwarts Houses.

He wondered if this was what people with friends felt like every day. If so, he couldn’t wait to have friends.

The 12th grade guidance counselor, Mr. Keene, was waiting for them when they reached his office. He was pretty average in appearance, as stocky, thin-haired middle aged men went, but there was something about his countenance that Ben felt deeply unsettled by. He couldn’t put a finger on exactly what that was, though.

“Hanscom?” Keene asked, pushing his glasses up his nose to read the schedule in his hand.

Ben nodded, surreptitiously wiping his sweaty hands on the bottom of his plain red t-shirt.

“This is yours.” He handed Ben the schedule. “I see you’ve already met the three stooges; they’ll tell you where to go.”

Mike and Bill grinned from where they stood in the doorway. Stan scowled, adjusting the collar of his button-down shirt.

“That’s basically all I’ve got for you,” Mr. Keene continued. “Looks like you’ve been to a lot of schools, so you know the drill. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere.”

Ben swallowed. “Uh.”

“Now, if you boys would be so kind,” Mr. Keene dismissed them with a wave of his hand, “I have a novel to write.”

“We’ll leave you to it,” promised Stan, dragging Ben out by the arm.

Once they were out in the hallway, Mike and Bill collapsed into giggles.

“Cluh-classic Keene,” Bill sighed, putting his hand over his heart.

“You know, when you guys said ‘porn novel’ before, I was a little lost, but I get it now, definitely.” said Ben, looking over his schedule.

“Dude, let me see.” Mike held out a hand, and Ben passed over the piece of paper. “You’ve got English first. Stan, you’re in there, right? With Mr. King?”

“Yes.” Stan looked less than enthused. “With Mr. King, and Tom Rogan, and Patrick Hocksetter, and–”

“Tuh-touchy little Eddie Kuh-Kaspbrak, and fuh-fuh-fucking Richie Tozier.” Bill rolled his eyes. “We know, Stan. You only compluh-ain about it every d-day.”

“No Bowers though,” Mike asked quickly, “right?”

“No.” Stan huffed. “He’s in remedial English. Good thing, too.” He turned to Ben, fixing him with a serious look. “Rogan’s probably too self-absorbed to remember what you did this morning, and Hocksetter’s mind is an incomprehensible void, but Bowers will never forget, and will probably kill you as soon as he gets you alone.”

Oh. They were talking about the bullies from before. “Sounds like a really good time.”

“Anyway, you’ve got Spanish second period. I don’t think any of us are in that one,” Mike continued.

“Fuh-French,” Bill said, gesturing between himself and Stan.

“And I take Latin,” Mike said, “so Stan’ll walk you there, and then you’ll be on your own for a bit.”

“It’ll be luh-lunch after that, so juh-just follow the crowd,” Bill added.

“Are you ready to go?” Stan was looking at Ben again, and Ben couldn’t help but straighten up under his gaze.

“Sure.” Ben turned to Mike and Bill. “I’ll see you guys at lunch?”

“You know it.” Mike smiled, giving Ben a thumbs up. Bill nodded along.

“Great, wonderful, awesome, okay, let’s go.” Stan said exasperatedly. “I want to get this over with.”

Mike and Bill departed for their own classes, and Ben was left to follow Stan, who walked inhumanly fast.

“The library’s over here.” Stan gestured towards a large set of double-doors as he passed them. “AV meets there, and so do the Future MBAs…although I am not on speaking terms with them at the moment.”

“What happened?” asked Ben.

Stan scrunched up his face, obviously still upset. “They found out I owned Backstreet Boys apparel.”

Ben thought of all the New Kids on the Block stuff he had at home, and felt a sense of solidarity with Stan. “That’s it?”

“They’re a vindictive bunch,” Stan muttered. “I didn’t even buy the damn visor for myself. Mike got it for me as a joke. A joke,” he repeated, checking in with Ben to make sure he got the point.

Ben decided against bringing New Kids on the Block into the conversation.

“I’m sorry,” he said instead, “they sound like they suck.”

Stan pressed his lips together into a thin line. “They do suck. And they’ll pay for exiling me, certainly. I have plans.”

They walked quietly together for a moment. Ben wondered, idly, if Stan had ever killed a man.

“This is the cafeteria.” Stan finally broke the silence, and Ben let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

He didn’t hear anything else Stan said about the cafeteria, though, because at that moment, the most beautiful girl in the entire world walked by.

Ben had never really paid much attention to girls at his other high schools, partially because he knew that he wasn’t going to be around for very long, and partially because he’d never met a girl that was more interesting to him than a book. He knew intuitively that this girl was going to be the exception. She had ferocious red hair, freckles that wound in constellation patterns across her face and down her back, and the kind of green eyes that Ben imagined J.K. Rowling was thinking about when she described Harry Potter.

He couldn’t decide whether or not he wanted her to look at him. On the one hand, she was the most incredible person he’d ever laid eyes on in his life. On…well, on the same hand, he was absolutely terrified of her.

He’d stopped walking somewhere along the line, too caught up in the girl to notice that he was standing still in the middle of the hallway like an idiot. Stan noticed, though, and was not amused. He smacked Ben in the arm, effectively ending his reverie.

“No. No way.” Stan shook his head. “Terrible idea.”

“Who is she?” Ben asked faintly.

“Beverly Marsh,” Stan replied. “Sophomore. She’s a goddess among mortals, obviously, and like a goddess, she has very little interest in us lowly normal kids. You’re better off forgetting her.”

“How am I supposed to forget about her?” Ben wrung his hands. “Her hair…”

“Look, buddy.” Stan stared flatly at him. “Even if you figured out how to make her pay attention to you, you couldn’t take her out. It’s popular knowledge that she doesn’t date.”

“Why not?”

“Eddie Kaspbrak.”

“Who?”

“We’re here,” Stan said, pulling open a door at the end of the hallway and ushering Ben in to meet Mr. King.

Mr. King was a grey-haired, no-nonsense sort of fellow with a very stern face. He stopped speaking when Stan and Ben walked in, and looked over at them disinterestedly.

“New student, I presume,” he said in a bored drawl. “Mr. Uris, kindly do the honors.”

“This is Ben Hanscom,” Stan said, gesturing to Ben. A chorus of ‘hi, Ben’ rang through the room. “Be nice to him. Thanks.”

“Take the desks at the far side of the classroom, you two,” said Mr. King, “and let’s get back to Hemingway, shall we?”

Ben took his specified seat and looked around. A gangly, gawky kid near Stan was throwing paper clips in Stan’s direction.

“Stanthony!” The kid whispered, comically loud. “Stan! The! Man! Introduce me to the new kid!”

“No,” said Stan in a heavy monotone.

Unfortunately for Stan, this didn’t deter the kid; rather, it prompted him to instead lick his hand and reach out towards Stan’s desk. Stan recoiled immediately.

“Disgusting,” he hissed. The gawky boy giggled. “Ben, this is Richie Tozier. Don’t waste your time with him.”

“What’d I do to deserve that intro?” Richie squawked indignantly. Stan buried his face in his hands.

“Mr. Tozier,” called Mr. King.

“The office, yup.” Richie winked as he slid out of his seat. “Catch ya later, Ben Handsome.”

“Thanks?” Ben replied, unsure of whether or not he was supposed to feel flattered.

“Let’s proceed without distraction, please.” Mr. King sounded annoyed. “I’d like to hear thoughts on the relationship between Frederic and Katherine. Mr. Rogan, did we read the book this time?”

The ringleader of the group of bullies from earlier looked up with a lazy smile. Ben quietly moved to slide his Harry Potter book into his bag.

“I was proud of my boy Freddy for gettin’ some–” Tom began, but was almost immediately cut off.

“Alas, we did not, in fact, read the book this time.” Mr. King massaged his temples. “Someone else, then.”

“Well, it’s obvious that Hemingway hates women.” A small, sweet looking boy near the front of the classroom crossed his arms. Ben noticed with some interest that the boy was wearing a fanny pack.

“We don’t have to do this today, Mr. Kaspbrak.” Mr. King looked, for all intents and purposes, like a man ready to quit his job immediately, but that was the furthest thing from Ben’s mind in that moment.

Hadn’t Stan said the name Kaspbrak before…?

“I think we do, though,” continued Fanny Pack Kaspbrak. “Katherine’s whole mission is to get pregnant? Really? And then when she can’t deliver the baby, she just…dies? Like, okay, Ernest, is that really all that you think that women are good for -”

“That is all that women are good for, though,” said Tom Rogan suddenly, sitting up and staring at Fanny Pack. “You’d know that, too, if you weren’t the world’s faggiest little bitch.”

“Office. Both of you. Now.” Mr. King crossed to the door and pushed it open for them.

“What did I do?” Fanny Pack spluttered.

“Just go, Kaspbrak.” Mr. King sighed. Ben turned to look at Stan, who shrugged.

“That’s Eddie for you.”

Eddie.

Eddie Kaspbrak.

The reason Beverly Marsh didn’t date.

Ben put his head down on the desk, and hoped to God he wouldn’t have to buy a fanny pack to impress this girl.

—-

When lunch rolled around, Ben felt a little sick with nerves. Given the size of the school, it was unlikely that he’d run into either Henry Bowers or Beverly Marsh in the cafeteria, but he was equally nervous about both prospects.

Fortunately, Mike found him first.

“Ben!” Mike pushed through the throng of students. “Como se dice, dude, how was Spanish?”

“Good enough for me to confidently be able to say that you’re terrible at Spanish,” said Ben, a little numb from being jostled by the stream of students jockeying towards the cafeteria.

“Yeah, that’s true.” Mike shrugged amiably. “Any familiar faces?”

“Not really. No you, no Stan, no Bill…I guess the teacher did call for that Richie kid, but he didn’t show. I think he was still in the office.”

“He skips sometimes, too.” Mike looked back at Ben. “You buy your lunch?”

“Bring,” said Ben. “My mom likes to make it. Makes her feel useful.”

“That’s pretty cool of her - and a good thing, too. Padua food is crap.” Mike brought Ben around a large group of people and through the cafeteria doors Stan had pointed out earlier. “We all bring our lunches, too. I assume you’re hanging out?”

Ben suddenly felt warm. “With you, Bill, and Stan? That’s okay?”

“You bet, buddy.” Smiling, Mike led him to a table near the back of the room. “Here he is, boys!”

“You muh-made it!” Bill cheered. “How’s it been?”

Ben sat down, pulling his bag lunch out of his backpack, and thought back over the last two periods.

“Well, English was…interesting.”

“I told you that class was terrible.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“And then in Spanish, we…” but there was no way Ben was finishing that sentence, because he’d just seen Beverly Marsh across the room, carrying a tray of food and looking like a literal angel.

“Earth to Ben, come in, Ben,” called Mike. “Who’re you looking at?”

“Oh, right, he’s fallen in love with Beverly Marsh.” Stan shrugged and took a small bite of his sandwich.

Mike and Bill exchanged an astonished look.

“All right, all right!” Mike clapped him on the back, nodding appreciatively. “Dream big, buddy.”

“She’s really nuh-nice,” offered Bill, smiling kindly. “We were uh-in the school pluh-uh-ay together once.”

“Oh yeah! You kissed her! Nicely managed, my man.” Mike and Bill high-fived messily over the table.

“We’re just going to ignore her whole Eddie pact, then?” asked Stan, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, shit, I forgot.” Mike’s smile disappeared. “Man, she’s gonna be single for life.”

“Eddie pact?” Ben asked, trying not to sound desperate.

“It’s not huh-huge, really.” Bill shrugged, sipping a Capri Sun. “Eddie went through some kind of bad buh-buh-breakup a year or suh-so ago, and swore off d-dating. Buh-Bev’s his best f-f-friend, so she swore off d-dating too.”

“Until he dates.” Mike corrected. “Beverly will start dating again when Eddie starts dating again.”

“So all we have to do is set up Eddie Kaspbrak?” Ben grinned. “I think I can manage that.”

“Okay, no. Two things.” Stan folded his arms. “One, she still doesn’t know you exist. Two, you’re not going to find a date for Eddie.”

“Why not? I bet some of the girls think he’s cute,” said Ben, looking at Beverly again.

“Yeah, bud…he doesn’t swing for that team,” said Mike, scratching his head sheepishly, “so that limits your pool a lil’ bit. And then there’s the fact that he’s not known for being, you know, super nice.”

“The nicest name he gets called is Shrew,” Stan said bluntly. “No respectable gay is going to date the Shrew.”

Beverly had sat down at a table near the front of the room. The table’s only other occupant was Eddie Kaspbrak. They were conversing about something.

“What subjects does Beverly take?” Ben changed the subject.

“She’s in Fuh-French class,” offered Bill. “She’s not very guh-good.”

Ben’s face lit up. “That’s perfect!”

Bill, Stan, and Mike all squinted back at him, confused.

“So in order to be the girl of Ben Hanscom’s dreams,” Stan clarified, “you have to have red hair, bad taste in friends, and speak French poorly.”

“No, no.” Ben waved his hands in front of him. “No. I’ll tutor her in French. That can be my in.”

“I don’t think that’s as good of a plan as you think it is,” Mike warned, opening his water bottle.

“Why not?” Ben asked, indignant.

“You don’t take French.”

“I can learn.” Ben balled up his paper bag and tossed it towards the trashcan. Instead of going in, it hit one of the kids passing by. The kid turned around, fists clenched - and of course it was Henry Bowers, of all the hundreds of kids at Padua High, of fucking course.

“Run,” advised Bill, and they all grabbed their stuff and high-tailed it across the cafeteria, with a howling Henry in tow.

They finally lost him over by the football stadium bleachers.

“Why did we take you on again? You clearly have a death wish,” wheezed Stan, leaning up against one of the metal supports.

“Did someone say death wish?” A head of curly hair popped up from where it had been resting on the grass. Ben recognized Richie Tozier’s freckled face and stupid glasses, and stifled a laugh - so Richie had been skipping, after all. “Stan the Man!”

“Can I not have one moment of peace?” Stan groaned, banging his head against the support. “Can I not just be left alone?”

“The universe huh-hates you, Stan,” Bill agreed solemnly.

“It hates all of us today. Especially you, Hanscom, and your impossible French tutoring scheme.” Mike plopped down on the grass by Richie, and everyone else followed suit.

“French tutoring?” Richie asked, “like…french kissing, tutoring?”

“There’s not an ounce of romance in your entire body, is there?” Stan asked, folding his arms over his eyes.

“I don’t know about ounces,” Richie grinned, “but I have a couple of good inches, and I’ve been saving them for your mom.”

“I thought you were gay, Tozier,” Mike remarked, throwing a handful of grass in Richie’s direction.

“I mean, a little. Like Freddie Mercury.” Richie kept smiling, nonplussed. “I like both.”

A lightbulb went off in Ben’s head. He scooted over to Stan and started whispering.

“Remember earlier, when you said no respectable gay would date the Shrew?”

“Yes.” Stan rolled his eyes. “I stand by it.”

“What about gays that might be…less respectable?”

It took Stan a minute, but the lightbulb eventually went off for him, too. He looked at Ben, and then at Richie, and then down at his own hands, clearly thinking it over.

When Stan looked back up, Ben expected him to shoot the idea down immediately…but instead, he smiled, huge and terrible.

“Suddenly, I’m invested in your stupid crush, Ben Hanscom. That would be fucking hilarious. Let’s make it happen.”

#reddie #benverly #stanlon #stenbrough #is there a ship name for bill stan and mike #or even really bill and mike #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #stanley uris #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #reddie fic #it 2017 #stephen king it #10 things i hate about you #i cant stop writing AUs im a Fool #sk writes reddie

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youth-and-roses · 7 years

Text

The Gay Post (1/2)

This a post about how cute and domestic can be two gay gods and their family

Let’s get started on how they meet each other. So at certain point of his life, Quetzalcoatl comes out to his dad as a transgender male, and like a good Patriarch, Ometeotl gets mad and tells his son “The only way I recognize you as a male is getting married and having a family”.

so Quetz’ gay smart ass starts looking for a husband, after all, he still has a vagina, and he can use it to attract males and having kids (Tatianna’s voice: Choices) so Quetz goes to meet the gayest man on earth, Xochipilli, and asks him “Is there any gay male who would want to marry me, regardless of my sex?” Xochipilli gives him a big ass list of gay dudes who would like to give him some love.

In the middle of searching for one of those gays, he accidentaly encounters Ra, the sun god who is looking for a consort, Quetz ain’t dumb and asks the man something simple “Would you date a boy regardless of what’s between his legs?” Ra chuckles, and now Quetz doesn’t know how to feel about it, to prove him right, Ra takes him to a date, Ra shows his boy different types of animals all over the world, shows him thousands of writings, and millions of paintings and he is just so happy he could destroy Ra’s face with his lips.

it takes the sun god a couple of dates before they fall for each other, Ra courts his boyfriend with the help of Tezcatlipoca, who gives him the necessary information to make his shitty little brother’s gay heart happy, when the courting ends, Ra requests Quetz’ hand in marriage, Ometeotl is way less powerful than Ra, he lets his son get married and recognizes him as a male.

their first little demon:

After Thot and Sekhmet were born from Ra’s unknown first wife, all of other gremlins came out of Quetz, the first one to being born was Sobek, the tiny little cocodrile god came out as an egg instead of a normal child, but luckily, after three hours of being examinated by Taweret, Sobek came out of his egg as a cute baby cocodrile, human body and cocodrile head, it took his parents three months to teach him how to turn into full baby. He had a humongous love for bodies of water and lived his life in the water, his daddy taught how to swim in different positions, so he could increase his fun in water.

the second place Sobek was most of his time was training with his father, and the third was his daddy’s lap, he even let his hair grow so his daddy could braid it, when he was a teenager he developed depression, but thanks to meds made by his brother Thot and that Apollo dude, he managed to get better.

Then Bastet and Hathor are born.

it’s their first set of twins so they are really happwhey, but Sobek is extremely nervous, he doesn’t sit in his daddy’s lap because “What if I kill them? What if I crush them? I don’t want to do that daddy”, Quetz is amazed by his little one year old’s thinking, later, with the help of a young Thot, they teach Sobek that he can crush his sisters by sitting in his daddy’s lap or putting his ear on his daddy’s tummy, Sobek is relieved.

Ra is excited to have more girls, after all, his first daughter is a warrior that has no shit to talk with those losers unless they are smart and stronger than her, no boy is stronger than her, so Sekhmet just look for a dude as smart as Thot, R ais thinking about all the names he can give to his little girls, plus he is going to have two! two girls! so he is more excited day by day, so excited that sometimes he can’t fall asleep.

Bastet is born like a tiny kitten and hathor is born like a baby human size little cow, it takes Taweret four hours with each girl to make them more human, both sisters keep their animal ears.

Hathor is kind and warm, loves her father a lot, and mostly of the time she is at his lap, watching how he does his work, she obviously loves his daddy, but her father has something special for her, and so does Bastet, she also prefers having most of her time occupied for her father, but at night she sleeps on her daddy’s side, he is more warm and comfy, her father is too hard and is like sleeping on a rock, but daddy has more fat to put her head on and hide herself there, Hathor also sleeps with her daddy, because he is more chubby and soft.

Maat is born asleep, and since then, she became one of Ra’s favorite kids, even if he doesn’t accept it, she sleeps a looot, and mostly of the time she does it, it’s at her daddy’s chest, Sobek, who is already eight, tries to convice his sisters, that babies are tiny and they need caring an attention and that’s why their parents are mor ebusy with their little sister. the girls seem forced to understand.

Maat is a book worm just like her parents and brother, she is the first ever lawyer and helps her father create the book of Ra, all the laws that reign the universe.

Jonsu wasn’t planned.

one day, Quetz period never came, and he strated to get worried, he was puking, no period and when they asked Taweret, she answered “My lord you are pregnant” they didn’t spend their time looking where did it went wrong while having sex, they embrace the fact that tehy are having a new kid, it’s not much of abiggie of rthe older siblings, Sobek and Bastet use most of their tiem hanging out with Set at the city or training with their father, Maat it’s too busy with the laws system of the gods, Thot already has his own wife and teaches the youth about everything, Hathor flirting game with Horus is getting more real, Sekhmet has a husband and a kid.

Jonsu has parents for all the time he wants, and he is the first one with favoritism toward his daddy! Jonsu loves math, watching the night sky with his daddy, playing all types of game to make his mind more fast, loves hearing his parents flirt, especially his father’s horrible pick up lines, so hideous that they work, and his dad’s smart and sassy flirting, the way he makes he makes Ra laugh and the way Ra makes him laugh.

Jonsu could live just watching them, his only dream is having a relationship as healthy and cute as his parents’.

#my writing #quetzalcoatl #ra #this is just the domestic part #this is long and gay #colorblind #my stuff

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