#it's the double problem of 'women can't abuse men!'

[ganymedesclock]

Generally speaking, I grew up on a lot of the big shonens (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, etc.) and have a relationship of fondness with the genre that drives me to frustration with a lot of the weak points many of them exhibit.

Like I can't. not. respect that these series had every reason to get as popular as they did, have many good qualities and iconic characters that linger in people's hearts, while also sighing in frustration at how many of them have "yeah he's a sex pest and all but he's such a funny guy, we won't ask him to change or get better towards women" as a staple character, for example,

[genericpuff]

Do you know "Eggnoid"? It's a rather old webtoon about a girl being put into circumstances on taking care of a robot guy who hatched from an egg (hence the title) the robot guy appears to be a grown man, but he has mental capabilities of a toddler and even acts like one. So, it's like those types of "born sexy yesterday" tropes but the gender reversed. The girl also repeatedly shown crushing over the robot guy and at some point, she called him her boyfriend despite she's supposed to be his caretaker.

I haven't read it, but I can definitely attest that there's a double standard when it comes to gender roles and age gaps / situations of grooming / etc. in literature but especially in webtoons. And by that I mean I've legit seen people hold comics like Lore Olympus accountable for their gross dynamics between a young teenage girl and the much older and richer love interest, but then turn around and say it's "couple goals" for a teenage boy to hook up with a much older woman. At the end of the day there's still a power imbalance due to the age gap and the massive differences in life experiences between the two, gender doesn't really change that.

Big ole' sip of hot tea as a take, but speaking as an AFAB, a lot of women are just as capable of grooming and taking advantage of younger men in the same way as men towards young women, it's just that on the surface people tend to get skittish about addressing that because they don't want to sound like they're going "yeah well actually women though-" and dismissing the notion of toxic masculinity. Which yes, that's a fair thing to worry about, some people do use that as a way to dismiss the arguments made regarding patterns of grooming behavior in men towards young girls (among many other problems in which men and toxic masculinity are held accountable), but like any topic of this nature, it's not always a cut and dry black and white thing. Toxic masculinity and the grooming of teenage girls by adult men is a very real problem! But just like how we can understand the nuance that being a man by default doesn't immediately make you a predator, we should be able to understand the nuance that being a woman doesn't give you a free pass to do the same things we call out men for doing without consequences. It's like the double standard in LO that it's okay for Persephone to do the same things - if not worse - than what Leuce and Minthe and Thetis do, because she's the main character and she's not some scummy "mud-sucking" lower class person, she's rich and a Queen and she's wearing a giant hat so it makes it okay /s

Unfortunately the saying of "I support women's rights and women's wrongs" is being used in a completely tone deaf "literally excusing the main character of her crimes and wrongdoings against others because she happens to be a woman" kind of way, while missing the real point of the saying - supporting women's wrongs doesn't mean you celebrate their abuse towards others, it just means women shouldn't automatically be viewed as irredeemable "crazy bitches" for making mistakes like any other human does, and like any other human, they should be given the opportunity to grow and heal and learn from their wrongs.

When it comes to Persephone specifically, it can't even be chalked up to a "one time mistake" anymore, she's literally been showing patterns of abusive behavior for years now and refusing to take accountability, and now even Rachel is meme'ing on it knowing fully well it's what people are calling Persephone out for in the critical spaces. That's not "supporting women's wrongs", that's enabling the wrongs of a person because they happen to be a woman, and that's not okay. Persephone isn't a "girl boss", she's a bully.

I think the double standard in these age gap romances also speaks to the idolization and fixation on women as being nothing more than conquests for men as well. People who romanticize age gaps between a young woman and an older man think, "Wow, that woman is so mature for her age, enough that an older richer man would choose HER to be his wife! So romantic!" when in reality those who know those dynamics are unhealthy and toxic recognize it as an older man taking advantage of a young woman who's being love-bombed into believing she's "mature for her age" so that she'll sleep with him. Meanwhile, on the other side of it, those who romanticize young men getting with older women tend to come at it from the angle of "well she's so old and washed up, no man could ever love her, her chance for love and a happily ever after is gone now! it's so wonderful of that young man to give that sad and lonely old woman love and attention!" and yet fail to see it from the same perspective of an older person manipulating a young person with zero life experience, because there's still this deeply-rooted ideology that women are "used up" by age 30 and any man who gives her attention beyond that age range is a hero. Completely neglecting the fact that relationships aren't off the table at all for older single people and they don't need to involve robbing the cradle.

I blame the lack of older couple representation in media tbh, so many mainstream romance stories are basically just this:

To pull it out of the perspective of LO and webtoons for a second (sorry, I'm going on a hell of a tangent here), remember how gross it was when it was revealed in Fifty Shades Darker that Christian had been introduced to the concept of BDSM at age 15 through one of his mom's friends (i.e. an older woman!) who Anastasia calls "Mrs. Robinson"? And they had that relationship until he was 21? And they never really did anything about that, it was pretty much just there to explain why Christian was fucked up but he still got married to Anastasia, an innocent woman who he was repeating the cycle of abuse with, and lived happily ever after anyways?

Yeah. That was pretty fucked up.

[libertyreads]

April TBR 2024--

This next month is set to be full of rereads, hockey romances, and new to me books. It is also the month I'm starting a certification program so it will probably be a bit of a struggle to get through this month's TBR. I don't even remember the last time I've thought that about a month's TBR. I really hope I have as much fun with this TBR as I'm expecting to. I've really been in the mood for these rereads and these hockey romance so I'm excited to finally get to it.

Silver in the Bone by Alexandra Bracken-- This is just one of a few rereads this month. Book two in the series comes out next month. I originally read this one as an ARC so I definitely need a refresher first. Tamsin Lark is a mortal with no magical talent who was never meant to break into ancient crypts or compete with sorceresses and Cunning folk for the treasures inside. But treasure hunting is the only way she could keep herself and her brother Cabell alive following her thieving foster father's disappearance. Ten years later she's looking for a ring that is supposed to save her brother from a curse. It's based in Arthurian legend.

Teen Titans: Beast Boy by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo-- Another reread before a new book in the series. I remember enjoying this one slightly less than Raven's book, but I still enjoyed meeting a new character and getting their origin story. I also felt like it addressed an issue that isn't brought up a lot: male body image issues. We see it addressed a lot in fiction for girls, but there are boys who also go through this growing up. Plus it's beast boy and lots of green animals.

The Score by Elle Kennedy-- A hockey romance! I've been so in the mood for hockey romances this year. I don't know if it's because I found a few new to me authors and bought some kindle books for Christmas or what. In this one we follow Allie Hayes who is in crisis mode. Graduation is looming and she's dealing with a broken heart thanks to the end to her longtime relationship. Wild rebound sex is definitely not the solution to her problems, but gorgeous hockey star Dean Di Laurentis is impossible to resist. Just one though because even if her future is uncertain it sure as heck doesn't include Dean. It seems like he's going to pursue her after she puts him in the friend zone following their one night stand. I love it when the guy falls first or the guy is pursuing the girl so I'm looking forward to this one.

Stars and Smoke by Marie Lu-- The last of the rereads for this month. I'm so excited for the next book too. In this one we follow an international pop sensation named Winter Young who is brought into the world of spies when a major crime boss gifts his daughter a private concert with Winter for her birthday. Sydney Cossette is a member of the elite covert ops group who is forced to work alongside Winter to infiltrate the crime organization's inner circle. This was such a fun and quick read for me last year and I can't wait to go back into this world of glitz, glam, and spies.

Bad Men by Julie Mae Cohen (NetGalley)-- This one just sounded so good when I saw it on NetGalley. It's unhinged women at its finest. Saffy Huntley-Oliver is an intelligent and glamorous socialite; she also happens to be a proficient serial killer. Over the course of fifteen years, she's dispatched bad men--rapist, murderers, domestic abusers. But leading a double life has left her lonely. Dating's rough when your boyfriend might turn out to be your next victim. Saffy thinks she's finally found a truly good man in Jonathan Desrosiers, a true crime podcaster. This is a feminist thriller that asks if even a serial killer can have a happily ever after. My hopes for this one? Rich people drama and some mad women.

The Hemlock Queen by Hannah F. Whitten (New Release)-- The second book in the series is finally coming out. This series starts with Lore, who has a dark power and a hidden past, as we follow her into the intrigue of the Sainted King's royal court. The king and his priest manipulate Lore and have her spy on the prince in order to determine just who is killing the villages at the edge of the kingdom. We follow on from the events of the first book in this new one.

My Lucky #13 by Piper Rayne (Kindle)-- A hockey player who is going through a scoring draught is worried he's going to get traded before the deadline if he doesn't turn it around. Following a New Year's Eve with a woman, he has a waterfall of goals and knows he has to see her again. She wants nothing to do with him and he feels his has to change her mind. A hero falls first sounding story that I'm so looking forward to. I will say that there's a very obvious hockey error in the synopsis of this one and we all know I'm a little picky about hockey details. But I'll try to keep an open mind on this one.

Just Do This One Thing For Me by Laura Zimmerman (Library)-- I'm going to pull the synopsis straight from GoodReads since it's a Mystery/Thriller and those are hard to explain at the best of times: "'Just do this one thing for me.' Drew's mother says it more often than good morning. Heidi Hill has been juggling shady side hustles for all of Drew's seventeen years, and Drew knows that 'one thing' really means all the necessary things her mother thinks are boring, including taking care of her fifteen-year-old sister and eight-year-old brother. In fact, Drew is the closest thing to a responsible adult they've ever known. When their mother disappears on the way to a New Year's Eve concert in Mexico and her schemes start unraveling, Drew is faced with a choice: Follow the rules, do the responsible thing, and walk away--alone--from her mother's mess. Or hope the weather stays cold, keep the cons going, and just maybe hold her family together."

[thesunfyre4446]

(1) Before the show aired I used to say I was on TB, now I feel like that's admitting a shameful secret? Because I'd be putting myself in the same bag as A LOT of delusional TB/Rhaenyra stans, most of whom are just bullies. The more I see both teams fighting on reddit or here the more stupid it looks to me; I end up wanting to correct them but then it comes off as me siding with TG. I'm not but it kills me to see how wrong they got the story. Most TB fans read F&B and filled in the blanks with their own delusions and think that's what really happened; what's even worse is they can't separate book from show. They think they have the moral highground but a lot of them are terrible, with their double standards and self righteousness. Like when they accuse TG of mysoginy but then crucify Alicent for everything she did and didn't do. Even young Alicent, who did absolutely nothing wrong, but still gets attacked by Rhaenyra's feminist stans.

If anyone asked me now I'd say I'm not in any team; my favourite characters are aligned with Rhaenyra, whom I think is the rightful heir based on my understanding of succession. I will defend Alicent cause she's an interesting character that people refuse to try to understand and is treated unfairly. I actually loved watching most of the characters (and relationships) because they are all so complex, even if I don't agree or like them . They are engaging, despite what "team" they're on. It really annoys me that so many fans miss out on this because they're busy with the TB vs TG war.

i think that not being in any team is the best way to watch the show, anon.

i mean i'm TG but watching daemon is def very entertaining. he's a horrible person but matt smith (who's one of my fav actors from the good old doctor who days) is incredible. i can enjoy daemon's character while also acknowledging the fact that he's a horrible person. appreciating characters for their complexly & just how entertaining they are without agreeing with the things they do or even liking them is a skill this fandom desperately needs to learn.

i got a hate anon a few days ago accusing me of "having bad morals" for saying alicent did what she believed was right and honorable, and then just refused to understand that what alicent believes is right is not necessarily what i believe is right (i mean she's a fictional character from a medieval inspired fantasy world, of course we're not going to have the same set of values ? ). i'm not TG because i believe that men should inherit before women, i just like the characters better and find them more interesting.

i also think that this fandom has a HUGE problem separating headcanons from actual canon. with daemyra shippers being the obvious example. daemon and rhaenyra's relationship is very toxic. he's psychically abusive to her, he gr00med her, he abandoned her in a brothel... like this is obviously a very bad relationship. but people still insist on labeling daemon as a MaLeWiFe and a femenist (?) [he smashed his wife's head with a rock because he didn't like her but ok] and get very angry whenever someone tries to suggests that maybe... daemyra isn't that great of a ship.

don't get me wrong it's fine to ship daemyra, we all like to ship fictional toxic relationships, but you have to separate the headcanons you have from the actual show.

yeah the double standard with the so-called feminists attacking alicent is... a lot. an unhinged stan left a comment on one of my posts talking about alicent's "lowly hightower c***". a lot of them are accusing her of "seducing" viserys when she was 14-15, or defending corlys for offering his 12yo daughter as a bride to the middle aged viserys... i'm not very comfortable with these posts so i usually just end up blocking the op. (and don't even get me started on how some of them treat nettles)

thank you for the ask! ;)

[lamentingocean]

>Sword Demon X Martial Art Prodigy Reader<

Warning: a bit of NSFW, violence, a bring up of sky and yeri, vent, fighting, and bit of an emotional impact, making out, philosophy shit and wisdom.

(Earn my rotmd degree into being the most diabolical simp, so I'm gonna add a bit of mongrang pervertness mueheh, but this is the final vote. BTW let me know what you guys want next◇)

____________________________________________

The sword demon,the man known to clean his blade to murdering multiple men that choose to be an enemy to him, his glare is indefinite and silently cunning to those that oppose and double cross his existence just by being a powerful martial arts capable of slicing the heads of even the martial arts prodigies. stunning but cold as an Arctic breeze. his sword is furthermore patternized as an art painting. the paint has its finest darkest colors to make a masterpiece enough to shoke even the professional painters of anicent china. and it's made into a canvas not only to be a haven full of strong emotional impact upon the demon's life but as a man with a deep dark pool of black water that is protracted as his soul. That painting is put into a room with nothing but a black ocean wall art just to take its theme into action into what he's really like.

cunningly mysterious, awfully powerful to sent warning signs to even the mad demon's flesh and bones, and strong enough to train a pervert like mongrang to be a highly beautiful man with a reputation of giving away peices of his charisma to women but also a formidable foe. he is such a man that even a person with a superhuman analytical ability can't get through. He's deep enough to find no meaning in life and just take time to bring it, meaning just to train and fight for what is right. His vibrant sorrows is what gets him a balance to earn his name. the sword demon.

a dangerous martial artist and part of the group of the four demons of this murim world.

Pervert Demon

Mad Demon

Sword Demon

And Poison Demon

you were born into a province. rich and wealthy into a heritage that will soon expand and continue under your own hands, eating with a gold fork and a gold spoon along with flakes of gold on your food to lather your own human system into the fabric of gold with your clothes even laced in gold. But it's a problem in this family. they are verbally abusive to their future successors and tried their worst in giving out that abuse to their own children as mental damage influence. they trained you before you can even stand on your own two feet as an infant. teaching you techniques and having to make you redo them over and over until it's perfected to their own satisfaction. It was torture, but practice makes perfect for the praise.

you receive praise, wealth, kindness, and a first time your parents could ever show love to their own children to cut off their own abusive attitude. but your mental state was bleeding from their kindness. but it was fake. The blade of their abuse slit your soul over and over until you are on the verge of tears every time you try to go out in public to be praising for your incredible swordsmanship, weapon proficiency, and reflexes. It sickened you to the core to be this strong but so weak to stand against people who choose to be parents just for the praise.

It's like reaching the aspect of dispair without showing a single emotion. they are the embodiment of dispair even though they are your parents. doesn't feeling like this break you into pieces and make you cry out in pain? No. your mental state is like armor. the more broken it is. the more it can block a hit so profound. it hurts, doesn't it? keeping it in hurts. keeping every strong emotion in your soul just to make people happy hurts.

It fucking hurts to be like this. to suffer under the pressure of your own family, be a controllable puppet to your parents, and fortunately kept into a lifestyle when vulgar words are supposedly normal. no. As a martial art prodigy that can take down 5 skilled fighters in one match is going to be strong for everyone. it's like keeping a bottle of water, and it's unopened just to grab every molecule of mineral and then those minerals are your true emotion. and then by each mineral collected. It becomes filled.

you looked at the legend of the sword demon, trying to know who he was. But you definitely knew who he was when you met him as a 10 year old. only to master the plum blossom technique to impress your parents until you saw him in the side of your eye. right in the wilderness when it's a big space in the wood to go all out into mastering that extravagantly gorgeous technique. glad they made a book about his greatness just enough that you can know him like the back of your hand. someone busted in and dropped a plate full of asian pastries.

It was the butler. and your hand reached a small piece of neatly carved paper. it's written in a female cursive. "Hello, Y/N! This is sky, and I wrote this to inform you that your parents issued an order to go travel across china and find more martial artists able to train you in your next path in life. so I recommend that you pack your bags and head out as soon as possible♡ your mother is a impatient women so she would expect your presence to be gone from here by the time she comes back from her association with the light faction Good luck and have fun with your travels♡

-SkyTsui" your hand flicked the note into the ground. suddenly angry at the news of traveling the world of anicent china just because your parents don't want to train you anymore. what a bunch of wealthy/ lazy fuck ups. but you did as you said as the controlled puppet that you are and packed up a lot of your stuff. even your sword at the bottom of your bed just in case to use for emergencies of factions, clans, or even mercenaries trying to raid the rich from their power and then kill them when the time is right. The weapon's name is called " Yuejue shu" Records of the Precious Swords. sturdy and sharp enough to break a kitchen knife. This can be used for self-defense, even if there are many rarities in the weapons in this world. Pack it up too.

And then boom, you are ready to go travel. Dropping down to the ceiling to mark your departure to leave this place for a while. it's a place that screams this: no matter if you're an emotional person who loves to express themselves in any way or a silent person that's going to keep it to themselves. it's a land full of judgemental/evil human beings that are always going to judge you for who you are. it's humanity. It's reality. people are continually miserable in trying to hurt other people to liven up their own insecurities. Even if you are a friend or you're being used, then you can't escape that. I find no meaning to life other than having a purpose to build within yourself so you can make meaning. we are evil. and if God is all powerful, then why didn't he eradicate the evil upon earth faster than he should. it's because he loves us. as evil. he loves us so much that even a mark upon humanity is going to drive us to the brink of dispair even when he isn't there to help us fix this fucked up world.

It's like letting your own creation die off and decay because of the aspect of humanity fucking up your own creation down into nothing but a capitalistic, dystopian, reality-faking, money hungry, government and supreme court controlled world. you reached down at your sword after that rush of thoughts for the future as in this is the world of anicent china. your wind gushed behind you as you flew like a bird because of your footwork. looking at all the ancient palaces. soon to be abandoned in the next 700 years.

(bro I wasn't able to finish this in time since I'm so damn busy with my online books outside of Tumblr, high school graduate, and college applications/ scholarships, so i can't finish this in time. It might be a part 2 but not right now.)

[pawpunkao3]

what's your problem with fabians story in canon? /gen /nm

Okay this is. TBH I adore Fabian's story overall but the ONE THING i cant abide his how canon treated his parents. Both of them are canonically physically abusive (Bill slams his head into the ground and Hallariel threatens to duel him to the death, which is implied to be serious), neglectful (Bill stunted Fabian's emotional growth by refusing to let him work hard for good things or view others as his equals, and Hallariel-- well she can't be fully blamed for her addiction but it also probably wasn't great for Fabian), and Bill at least is also emotionally abusive (he treats Fabian as an extension of himself, tells him that he is the most important person in the world and he shouldn't have close friends, and, like, he got that toxic masculinity from SOMEWHERE).

But all the other players and seemingly canon treat that as if it's not a big deal. Angwyn and Arianwen get fucking merked (deservedly), and Kristen never talks to her parents after FY, but Fabian still lives with the mom that spent 90% of his life emotionally not there and the other 10% making his house unsafe for him, and had a part where he tried to reconcile with his dad and. Had to accept his not-apology where he STILL refused to admit his son might have an identity completely apart from Bill. Adaine and Kristen get closure; Fabian is in limbo.

It's also so sad to me that just. He clearly doesn't know. Nobody's given him a hint that it's maybe not great that for fourteen years he never disagreed with his dad and never even meaningfully interacted with his mom. Not even Jawbone, whose literal job it is to notice when kids need help. The most he did was point out that Fabian has some self-harming tendencies and suggest he come to his office (which he probably never did because surely then Jawbone would realize he was being abused). Not even Adaine or Kristen, who are also survivors! It just sucks man.

Anyway if I were in charge of D20 I'd plot an arc for Fabian to recognize that its Bad that his parents would prefer him to be lethal than well-adjusted or happy, and hopefully the other bad kids would be a bit more supportive and not just be like "but your dad let us do cocaine tho :("

It also kinda smacks of the double standard of abuse where abuse of (tbh white) women is treated slightly less like a joke than abuse of (tbh marginalized) men bc women are Valuable Property to be protected where as men are just Meat Shields. Not that I think anyone at D20 holds that opinion consciously or otherwise

[caffeineandsociety]

The most insidious thing about intracommunity transphobia is how much it still relies on stereotypes of someone's AGAB - trans women and fems and other presumed-AMABs are scary, creepy, burgeoning, sex-obsessed perverts; trans men and mascs and other presumed-AFABs are frivolous, selfish, shallow airheads who just want attention and can't handle REAL problems and/or gross ugly creepy girlfailures who are lashing out and preying on other people because it's the only way to get control over their lives -

And very few people are willing to acknowledge this, because they will SAY "trans women are women, trans men are men, trans people are who they say they are" until they're blue in the face - or rather, until they come up with justifications for these stereotypes that fit into that framework.

It's not subtle misgendering and deep-seated queerphobia to immediately believe the worst of any trans girl who happens to like My Little Pony and Sailor Moon and exists in the general vicinity of teenagers; no, it's TOTALLY a one-off, pay no mind to the fact that the person in question has uncritically believed every single one of these claims that's crossed their social media feed. If anything, it's fighting the idea that women are all weak, powerless, delicate flowers who can never actually hurt anyone! Right?

It's not subtle misgendering and deep-seated queerphobia to write trans men and mascs' issues off as a lesser, "diet" transphobia that's never done anything worse than making people sad on the internet, that's not a persistent stereotype of women from both outside of AND within the queer community; it's just a means of trying to get men to stop talking over women, nor is it transphobia try to talk trans men and mascs out of transitioning because "testosterone is poison" - nor does that idea rebound back around to hurt pre- or non-HRT transfems for that matter - it's TOTALLY true that T will cause roid rage but ONLY in trans men and mascs for, uh, some reason. Absolutely none of this "sit down and shut up and let people insist you're just confused or be written off as a screeching predatory harpy who's an inherent danger to women and children" is a recycled lesbophobic stereotype, how dare the person calling out this behavior misgender trans men by implying as much!?

But of course, pointing this out is just "trying to have it both ways", trying to claim the authority presumed of a man AND the fragility presumed of a woman, right?

Just. Fuck. On the one hand, I need to reiterate, as I always do, that queer people are NOT the primary source of queerphobia - these root ideas aren't born within the queer community, and in fact despite the loud minority, ARE less common here than within cishet society, however much it may sometimes feel otherwise because we're basically each other's captive audience.

On the other hand, we have to look at what's happening here. When this happens as an intracommunity thing, it REALLY fucking sucks because 1) someone who will double down into infinity on any of these ideas does, indeed, have basically a captive audience that they're free to abuse, and 2) it's all predicated on the idea that the MOMENT you come out as queer, you're totally incapable of holding queerphobic ideas, or at the very least you can't REALLY HURT people with them. "What, you're really accusing me, a flaming faggot/a whole lesbian/an actual trans person, of being queerphobic?" says the guy who insists on sticking to the narrative that most gay trans men are obnoxious screeching yaoi fangirl chasers who just want to trick him into straight sex disguised with one degree of abstraction; or the girl who's constantly trying to get her trans girlfriend to quiet down and stop asserting herself, flinching in terror the moment she shows the slightest negative emotion, despite never having acted this way with her cis exes; or the person who immediately pivoted from seeing their nonbinary friend as totally fitting into their "women and nonbinary people" community to seeing them as a creepy predator trying to invade the space the moment they found out they had a deep voice and facial hair. While these are NOT things that all queer people do, they ARE things that most if not all queer people will be on the receiving end of at some point or another if they spend enough time in the community, and that's a problem! Especially since people who have a queer-positive- and feminist-sounding justification, and especially who think of themselves as incapable of doing this kind of harm, are sometimes even capable of justifying saying and doing shit that, coming from anyone else, would be blatantly obvious as a hate crime.

And once again, in conclusion, I must repeat, this is not an identity-linked issue, because guess what - assuming it is is part of the problem!

[xxchromies]

Random thoughts

It's crazy how much I've changed in the past couple of years, in a good way! I was just thinking about how if people I knew in high school found this blog, they'd probably faint. They'd be disturbed. They'd say I'm "going down the alt-right pipeline" and I'm an "evil TERF". And that would have bothered me in the past, but now I really don't care! It's not like the alt-right isn't a real thing, but I absolutely ABHOR people who consider anything that doesn't align with the most sanitized liberal thinking as being a part of the alt-right. Being conservative is not the alt-right either. I cannot help but CACKLE when people say that people like Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson are part of the alt-right.

I've learned a lot of things about the world in the past couple of years. I've learned to trust my instincts and to challenge the dominant narrative. I've learned things aren't always what they appear. And I'm so glad I did! I don't have to put up with any old bullshit anymore! I hate porn! I hate sex work! I hate gender ideology! I can't in good conscience support any of that bullshit anymore. Maybe I sound a bit crazy right now, but I really do feel like Neo from the Matrix. I feel as if I've uncovered the realities of the world, but at the same time it's scary because in many ways the reality is horrible.

I felt compelled to write this post because I've been seeing a few radical feminist tweets get absolutely dogpiled on Twitter. There was one about how BDSM and many other kinks are inherently abusive and a bunch of people were doing the typical "but they CHOOSE it" "it's more nuanced than this" bullshit. People were saying that radical feminism is just conservatism in disguise. And it just really opened my eyes. So many people are absolute hypocrites. These so called progressives will go on and on about how other people are problematic but the moment you turn the spotlight on THEM, they double down. It's fascinating.

I just want to make myself completely clear for anyone who comes across this blog, I do not hate trans people or want them to die. I believe being trans is a mental illness. However, there's nothing wrong with having a mental illness. I believe they are mentally ill people that are taken advantage of by the medical industry. People may think I'm insisting they don't have agency, but that's not it. I'm simply saying not all choices are good ones, choices don't exist in a vacuum, and you can easily be influenced by outside forces who don't always have your best interests at heat. No one is immune to propaganda. That includes you and me. If someone really truly wants to transition, they have a right to do so. BUT! I'm not going to pretend that sexual dimorphism isn't a thing. I'm not going to pretend that trans women are real women, or that trans men are real men. I will simply acknowledge that they are pretending to be the opposite sex. Nothing wrong with pretending, quite honestly. It's not a bad thing.

I also do not have any problem with kinks that aren't harmful to the self or to other people. I don't give a damn if someone has a foot fetish, a fart fetish, or even autogynephilia! But I do not condone anything related to BDSM, I just don't. If you enjoy a kink like that, I urge you to look within! I understand it may feel upsetting to realize that what you are doing is bad, but instead of doubling down, do some self-reflection! If you enjoying inflicting pain on people, that is fucked up! Even if they say yes! If you enjoy having pain inflicted on you, you have something wrong with you. But you're not a bad person necessarily, you're a victim. I have compassion for you. But don't lie to yourself. What you are doing is not healthy or normal just because you consented to it. Suicide is consensual, is it not? At the end of the day, it's a free country. But please cut the cognitive dissonance bullshit out.

[beardedmrbean]

Most people don't "hate" I hate my spouse jokes.

They hate, "I hate my wife," jokes by men. Whether it's actually them or exaggerating jokes in media.

Which would be acceptable if they didn't let "I hate my husband," jokes from women slide.

If a man jokes about hating his wife? HE'S AN ABUSER!

If a woman jokes about hating her husband? She's either an abuse victim or deserves better or a queen for mistreating him.

Which annoys me. The amount of empathy for potential male victims stays the same. I can't take anyone who thinks like this seriously. Tumblr, as usual, presumes men are the problem and lacks nuance.

#ihateitheresometimes

double standards are only ok if they benefit you.

That and there's a inability to grasp the concept that different things can be funny to different people based on a lot of different circumstances.

so maybe people should just sit down and realize that the joke was not for them

Funniest Holocaust jokes I've heard in my life were told to me by Jewish people, I might have not found them as funny had they not come from a Jewish person so that's another factor to consider in the whole thing too.

The wife jokes are mostly a generational thing and the wife will know them just as well as the husband and they'll have the same jokes about their husbands.

[some-eldritch-bats]

important point about trans hearts for you

y'all starting HRT might hear some Things from your doctors. it depends on if your doctors are good or bad, but it also depends on where you're from even when your doctor is very trans-positive. (see below)

You're going to hear about how trans men starting testosterone have an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, especially heart attacks ("myocardial infarctions"), strokes, and congestive heart disease (CHD).

You're going to hear about how trans women starting oestrogen have an increased risk of "hormone-sensitive cancers like breast cancer" (note, this is the ONLY ONE of note in trans women), and also of peripheral blood clots (e.g. deep vein thromboses, DVTs) and certain kinds of strokes.

What you MAY NOT BE TOLD is that these risks are population-relative, not absolute. You do not actually have a higher risk of heart attacks than a cis man. Your risk of heart attacks are lower than a cis man of the same age and ethnicity. What's happened is that YOUR PERSONAL risk has increased somewhat... to somewhere below the cis male range, because cis women have a substantially lower risk than cis men and your risk has increased.

You MAY NOT BE TOLD that your risk of breast cancer as a trans woman is significantly reducible by getting regular tests, and by informing the person doing your mammography that you might have "dense breasts" (HRT increases breast tissue density for reasons we don't fully understand, so trans women are more likely to be on the denser end of the normal spectrum, as are cis women with high oestrogen levels or young cis women). One of the LEADING CAUSES of late-stage breast cancer in trans women is a FAILURE TO CONDUCT SCREENING CORRECTLY, though you should be aware that some of the ways of reducing high-density breast issues can (probably will) increase the discomfort you feel during a mammogram, sorry ladies :( that's unavoidable, it's a physics problem not a design problem.

You MAY NOT BE TOLD that short-term testosterone is NOT LINKED with a significant lifetime increase in cancer, heart disease, or any other long-term health issue other than some increased risk of type 2 diabetes.

You MAY NOT BE TOLD that the extra-elevated risk of lung cancer that trans people, ESPECIALLY trans women, experience is likely entirely due to societal issues. Trans women have DOUBLE the smoking rates of cis men, who have the second-highest rates, and this is even higher in POC trans women. The most likely reason is that trans women are much more likely to be in social housing, under constant stress, and in poverty... all of which are linked to increased smoking rates and increased lung cancer rates. There's ZERO biological difference that should cause a lung cancer spike, except for higher lung cancer rates in smokers and in people who live in social housing (which is its own can of worms).

THESE RISK ARE ALL RELATIVE.

When they say "your risk has gone up", they do not mean "to the point that it's really worrying". They mean that, relative to where you started, it's increased now. It might STILL BE LOW, or it might have gone from "already high" to "still high". We have no way of knowing, but your risks are probably now simply the SAME as a cis person of that gender, or may be linked to factors unrelated to HRT.

Why do suicide rates in trans people on HRT seem to be higher than cis people? Well it sure isn't the HRT, is it?! Beyond the obvious factor that trans people are more bullied and abused by society, there's also the aspect of "how many of those dead 'cis' people were actually committing suicide DUE TO being trans but nobody knowing it?" You can't diagnose transness posthumously. You can tell if someone was trans and on HRT. You can't tell if someone was trans and never told anyone or started medical transition.

STATISTICS CAN BE ABUSED, even without knowing it.

---

with regards to "where you are from may result in this being told to you even by a good/trans-positive doctor"...

for example, I'm a medical student in Australia, and here ALL DOCTORS regardless of whether you or they want them to say it or not are LEGALLY REQUIRED to tell you certain side effects of ANY medication (HRT isn't given special treatment under the law) such as death, permanent disability, etc. This is due to a legal case in which a man with only one working eye was given a medication into his good eye with a rare side effect of blindness in that working eye, and they didn't tell him because it was a very rare side effect and because there was no legal requirement to do so. It blinded him, and he understandably sued and won. We now legally HAVE to tell you ANY potentially serious side effect that you "might care about", basically. A risk of death is assumed to be serious, and there's really no carve-out in the law for "but the patient said they didn't want to know" because the doctor could potentially still be sued if the person's family turns around and says "but you SHOULD ANYWAY right?"

So, Australian doctors WILL tell you that HRT will give you, for example, a higher risk of heart disease even if they know it's stupid or they know that you'd prefer not to hear that kind of anxiety-inducingly misleading stat. They don't have a choice I'm afraid.

Happy #TransDayOfVisibility! It is important, today more than ever, to repeat the message loud and clear so that it echoes worldwide: Trans rights are human rights. All of us have a beating heart, all of us matter. We need to protect each other fiercely.

[x3rrorx]

I wonder how people would act if Carolina was a man and Noah was a woman.

I wonder if all of those people that are befriending Carolina would still support those kind of behavior if a man was the one out there stalking a woman, because i feel like a lot of people ignore Carolina behavior just because Noah is a man, so who care no?

I can understand everything but now she is being ridiculous.

Okay she wanted to share her experience, but what was the point of talking about his private issues?

Why exposing him for lying about his parents death? (she implied that noah told her that his parents were still alive but they no longer talk to each other)

Why? Why would you talk about it? His dad died in front of his own eyes for fuck sake.

My grandfather died last March and I still talk about him as if he is still alive, that's a self-soothing thing for me, maybe it's weird but so what?

Why if she just wanted to talk about her experience now she still talk about him? Why she go as far as find his private profiles on internet (because hell I'm sure that she was the one that exposed his pinterest)

Why still obsessing over him if everything was just about her experience?

Her experience ended 4 freaking years ago, 4, f👏o👏u👏r damn years ago, and it's worrying how people can't see how her behavior ARE WRONG, we ain't mad because she got the dick (people still think that that's why we decided to expose her and why we dislike her, like if everyone dream is to fuck their fave) and I can't stand those women that are almost in their 30th yet can't understand that some things NEED to stay private, that talking about someone trauma is wrong and disgusting.

She said that she was no victim, she said there wasn't abuse and that both of them were toxic to each other, (let's remember that we only have her side of the story) and she was the one that regardless everything tried to get back with him, so why the hell she still talk about him?

And all of those people that kiss her ass, that weirdly enough are always bo fans, can't they see how wrong her actions are? Because, hell, they play like we are the idiots there but how can a 30 year old woman not comprehend that enough is enough? That at a certain point you need to stop? That noah is a human like all of us, with his own damn problems?

Seriously, I don't understand, she is obsessed with him and that's not even healthy, how come none of her friends care enough to show her the reality, that what she is doing is harmful to both herself and noah?

We aren't the problem, they are, Noah blocked her everywhere, he want nothing to do with her, how is this hard to understand?

Exposing them is the best thing to do, no man out there deserve to be exposed to a mass of horny teens without consent, no man deserves to be harassed by a bitter ex online, no man deserves this kind of treatment, lets just stop with stupid double standards, Noah deserves his own privacy like everyone else.

(I needed to vent sorry)

Oh 100% the second you look at it is reverse, This wouldn’t have gone down for so long. It’s okay for them all to do what they have because they are females. But if J or MG were men doing this to a female artist 💀 NOPE! There wouldn’t be a single person on their side. But Noah is a man so it doesn’t matter. They’re just women, so what harm can they actually do? 💀 fucking hate that shit.

People ignore MG’s behavior because she’s an attractive female. If she wasn’t what society saw as attractive they wouldn’t care about her and if the genders were reversed then she’d be dragged on everything. No one would let it slide.

That’s another thing. GOD absolutely NO ONE GIVES A SHIT THAT SHE GOT DICK FROM NOAH. No one is bothered about that. That isn’t anyone’s problem with her. no one wants to be you or in that toxic situation.

“You’re just jealous” no one is jealous of a toxic (from both sides) 3 month fling that ended in him blocking you and him needing to go to therapy over it.

Like another anon said, to some, Noah is just eye candy to look at and they are happy with their own relationships. But they still hate Mg for what she has said/done. So no, not everyone hating on her is doing so cause we think we’re gonna gain brownie points with Noah.

[crazylil-lion]

Facts. Men need therapy because no one cares about their emotions. Because no one cares about the trauma or abuse.

Because being born male is obviously purely a privilege even though more males commit suicide likely because of people who refuse to accept that it doesn't matter the gender.

And constantly posting nothing but hate targeting the whole male gender is part of the problem.

Just like treating every woman as some fragile thing that could never do any wrong is part of the problem.

Its funny that the same feminists that say all males need therapy are probably contributing to the reason they need therapy.

My favorite study was male vs female domestic abuse.

In experiments in public, people cared and spoke up about female domestic violence. But when it was a guy being hit and abused people pointed and laughed and did nothing.

Or rape. As a male people think you can't be raped so I bet a high number of suicides are victims who spoke up and were ignored because

"Men can't be raped"

And before you say it's not true. I've fucking lived it.

As a male your feelings and suffering is treated as nothing. Its unmanly. It's reinforced by women that you need to be this strong emotional support but when you are struggling your weak.

Gotta love double standards.

“Men need therapy” has become a mainstream idea in feminist circles but the conversation never, ever moves past that point because if it did it would inevitably brush up against the implication that the way we raise boys is inherently traumatizing. And that would complicate their nice neat theories about how maleness is only ever a privilege and femaleness is only ever oppressive.

[sokos]

These are some of the most dangerous countries for women.

And according to this different survey, the 10 most dangerous countries for women are:

10. United States: due to the prevalence of sexual violence—including rape and sexual harassment.

9. Nigeria: due the internal problems in this country, women are the ones who pay the consequences the most. Kidnapping and high rates of human trafficking.

8. Yemen: women have little access to health care and protection from violence.

7. Democratic Republic of Congo: Sexual violence and rape being used as a weapon of war.

6. Pakistan: economic discrimination, physical violence, honor killings, no access to education.

5. Saudi Arabia: economic discrimination and women still have to depend on their husbands.

4. Somalia: lack of basic health care and civil protections. Maternal mortality and HIV rates remain high, and women continue to face harmful cultural practices such as female genital mutilation and child marriages.

3. Syria: massive health care shortages and high rates of non-sexual violence related to the war.

2. Afghanistan: The ranking is due to the country’s high rates of female discrimination, non-sexual violence, and poor health care.

1. India: India is rated the most dangerous country on Earth for women, according to experts. The world’s largest democracy was ranked highest in terms of sexual violence and human trafficking, which includes forced labor and domestic servitude.

I was surprised to find so many people complaining about the accuracy of this study above like this

Even in the comments of the tiktok at the top, everyone was offended and saying sexism in their country can't be that bad and that other countries had it worse. When the shock should be directed towards how prevalent violence against women is worldwide! How even in the most privileged countries, women are still discriminated! Everyone should be working to stop the violence against women everywhere and taking real preventive measures instead of fighting about which country has it worse or if there's even misogyny in their beloved country. When people have so much trouble recognizing the problem exists, it makes it so much harder to actually fight against that problem.

This other page also includes on the list of most dangerous countries:

1. South Africa: notorious for sexual violence. It is estimated that over 40% of South African women will be raped in their lifetime. Of the women who were asked if they felt safe walking alone at night, only 25% of South African women said yes, the lowest of any country. Additionally, South Africa ranked the worst for the intentional homicide of women.

2. Brazil: Only 28% of women reported feeling safe walking alone at night and the country has the third-highest rate of intentional homicide against women. Brazil also ranked sixth for the percentage of women who have experienced physical or sexual violence by their intimate partners at 36.9%.

3. Russia: It has the second-highest rate of intentional homicide against women, largely contributing to its third-place spot on the list. Russia also ranks as one of the top ten countries to have laws and regulations that limit women’s ability to participate in society and economy in an equal manner to men.

4. México: Mexico ranks fourth overall for the most dangerous countries for women, as well as ranks fourth for the percentage of women who feel safe walking at night and for intentional homicide against women. Only about 33% of women reported feeling safe walking alone at night. Additionally, Mexico ranks third for non-partner sexual violence, which about 16% of women experience.

And other countries like Iran, Dominican Republic, Egypt, Morocco, and Thailand.

Notice how most of these are third world countries. The last page I used says the safest countries for women include Canada, Switzerland, Norway, Austria, Poland. But I found out that:

- According to the Canadian Women's Foundation: Women in Canada live at greater risk than men of domestic violence, sexual assault and harassment, and sex trafficking. Approximately every six days, a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner. 67% of Canadians know a woman who has experienced physical or sexual abuse. 6X Indigenous women are killed at six times the rate of non-Indigenous women. 6,000+ women and children sleep in shelters on any given night because it isn’t safe at home.

- In Switzerland, Every four weeks a woman is killed within a partnership. 28% cases were perpetrated by ex-partners who committed psychological and/or physical violence. In 72% of cases women were harmed, while in 28% men were the victims. And this says: According to the research involving interviews with 4,495 women and girls aged 16 and over, one in five women surveyed has been subjected to sexual violence, and more than 10 percent of women surveyed had been raped. Only 8 percent of women surveyed reported the assault to the police.

- In Norway, During 2018, a total of 3509 cases of ill-treatment in family relations were reported. 64 percent of the victims of domestic violence, including the servere domestic violence, were women. And 80 percent of the victims of sexual crime were women. A total of 8374 sexual offences were reported to the police in 2018.

- According to this, Austria’s homicide rate is low, at fewer than 1 per 100,000 people, but its proportion of women killed versus men is high. Last year, 31 of the country’s 43 total murder victims — 72% — were women, according to Roesslhumer’s Autonomous Austrian Women’s Shelters, a non-governmental organization that tracks the issue. There are a handful of countries where the rate of femicides is slightly higher, including tiny Luxembourg, but Europe-wide about 75% of slayings are of men, according to the European Union’s Eurostat statistical office. In Austria, femicides almost doubled from 2014 to 2018, going from 23 cases to 44, according to Eurostat.

- In Poland, the government has found that over half of Poles (57%) say they have experienced some form of domestic violence in their lives. Among women, the figure is 63%. The researchers also report a “concerning” acceptance of violence among a significant minority of the public. This includes over 10% of men who believe there is no such thing as rape within marriage and that, when it comes to sex, wives should always agree to what their husband wants.

So called "safe countries for women" are actually not safe at all. Misogyny is not only a thirld world issue and I wish more people understood that.

[ratcatcher0325]

Nobody’s Fool (Chapter #10)

Yay! Chapter 10. Can't believe we are in the double digits now! Thanks so much to those of you who are reading!

Previous: Chapter #9

Next: Chapter #11

CW: Adult language, dehumanization, references to abuse.

________________________________________

NOBODY'S FOOL

Chapter #10: Flying High

[Eveline's POV]

The song came to a slow, satisfying finish and the crowd went wild for them. My heart pounded faster as the bar echoed with cheers. He took off his hat and bowed before running fingers through his messy hair. People loved that. His face was flushed but wether it was from exertion or being overwhelmed with adoration, I couldn’t say.

“Thank you everybody! We are so glad we could come out here tonight and rock out with you lovely people! It’s time for us to take a break but we’ve got a few more songs in our back pocket and we will play em for you soon! Thanks for being here!” Travis raised his glass as people toasted him, taking swigs of their own.

As Riley and Dani stepped down from their instruments, I weaved through the throng of people craning to get a look at the miniature music man. I had to physically squeeze between two men who’s eyes were fixated on the bar stool and its inhabitant. When I finally made my way through, I saw a woman, probably mid-forties, and who I presumed to be her daughter, a teenage girl, who seemed to be posing for a selfie in front of the stage. This would have been fine, people were taking photos of him all evening, except, the daughter was wrapping her fingers around Penn’s torso, about to pick him up.

I could hear him sort of yelp over the microphone as I finally made it to the stage. He looked to me screaming for help with his eyes, as I dashed over. “Woah! Hey! Hey, please don’t pick him up!!” The girl’s brows furrowed and she immediately regarded me with hostility, shooting me a look as if to say, "who are you?"

The mother chimed in, “Oh, we just wanted a picture with him, that’s all! My daughter really liked his music….” Penn was now squeezed in the girl’s fist, arms stuck to his sides, his feet dangling as he squirmed around. The poor little guy looked terrified, all the joy he had just experienced now replaced with gut wrenching fear. I knew this brought him right back to the night I found him, being passed around and toyed with by so many foreign, curious, if not outright hostile, pairs of hands.

“Ma’am, asking to take a photo with him is fine… just please don’t pluck him up like that,” Imagine how you would feel if you were his size! Jack, seeing this go down, stepped in front of the bar, towards these two women, Riley and Travis too, started to approach with their arms crossed. Feeling pressure from all sides, the girl looked sheepishly at me, and released her grip on him, letting him drop half an inch into my outstretched palm.

The poor little guy stumbled and fell to his hands and knees, looking shaken and embarrassed. Gripping the pad of my thumb with his left hand, he looked up at me, before twisting around to gaze at the two women before him.

“I just wanted a selfie… he’s so cute! I wasn’t gonna hurt him or anything….” the girl pouted before being guided away by her mother. As they disappeared back into the crowd, the older woman shot daggers at us, as though we had ruined her spoiled child’s birthday party. I held him up to my eyes, as the throng of his friends and supporters sort of huddled around me protectively. “Hey, you okay?” He plucked the collar of his shirt away from his throat as he nodded.

Jack piped up, “Hey, Penn, anybody that makes you uncomfortable in here, just say they word and I’ll kick em out, no problem. You’re one talented little fella, man, mad props.” Penn smiled at this, tipping his hat to the bar owner. Riley chimed in,

“Dude… can we talk about Thunderstruck for a sec?? That was fucking SICK!! Like I remember as a kid sitting in my bedroom for like literal days trying to train my fingers to play that riff. Dude, that was some of the coolest shit I’ve ever seen!!” Penn burst out laughing, shrugging as if to say, "Aw, it was nothing!"

Travis leaned down to the little man's eyeline, “Brother. You saved us. Not only that! Like, we have never, ever gotten that kinda reaction here, we aren't this place's usual vibe. But, goddamn! People are fucking in love with you, dude. I knew you wouldn’t let us down. How could you? You’re you! Least I can do is hook you up with something else to drink, yeah? You want the same shit?” Penn beamed as Travis spoke to him. I think of all the band members Penn seemed to like Travis most. I could sense he had a deep respect and appreciation for the man who had shown so much faith in him. Travis and Jack made their way to the bar, as Jack threw an arm over the broad shoulders of the copper haired man, I could hear Jack singing Penn’s praises, thanking Travis for bringing in such good business for the night. Riley left to go smoke outside and Dani was already at the bar, flirting with some tall, beautiful woman clad in a leather jacket.

I felt him shift his tiny weight back on his hands as he stared up at me, shaking his head, “What?” I asked.

“Nothing it’s just…. Pinch me, I must be dreaming, you know? I can’t believe this is really happening. I don’t know what to do with myself!”

I chuckled. “You sure you’re okay to do a couple more?” He leaned forward, his elbows over his knees.

“Oh, absolutely! Besides that whole thing just now, I’m having the time of my life tonight.” Good boy. I held him up and kissed him on his cheek before placing him back on his platform. I sat down on the lip of the stage in front of him, acting now as a security guard as people approached. Everyone wanted to look at him, see him up close. He knew he was under the microscope and I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do. He plucked at the guitar, greeting people with a friendly and sweet disposition as they waved or said hello. This had to be so different from anything he'd ever experienced before!

“You’re really really good!”

“I did not expect it when you came out onstage… I was like, what??? Is this a joke? But then you played, little guy! It was crazy!”

“Where can I buy your music?”

He chuckled into the mic, before speaking, “I, um, I don’t actually have anything recorded… this is my first night to perform so…”

“What? You’re kidding! Oh wow, I just love your technique man, that’s insane!” I recognized the asker as the kid with the glasses who had requested the AC/DC song from before. Scott.

“Maybe someday in the future… follow the band on social media and I’m sure they’ll keep you updated…” Penn sort of shuffled, out of his element but still sweet and friendly as could be.

“Dude, can I get a selfie with you? No one is gonna believe me when I tell them about tonight!” The little pet's face flushed all red. Goddamnit, he was so adorable!

“Uh, uh s-sure!” I watched the kid carefully, making sure he didn’t try to touch the little man or pluck him off the stool. No, we were good. He just leaned down, his head close to the wooden seat, as he pointed at Penn. The tiny musician held up his guitar as if mid-solo, beaming as he did so. “Dude, awesome! Thanks so much! You guys are only here tonight, right? I wish I could bring my friends to come see you!” He trotted off, smiling at his phone.

Over my right shoulder I could hear Penn laughing, I met his gaze, brow furrowed. He shook his head, “This is the most backwards and insane day of my life….!” Other people having seen the young man take his photo, were inspired and soon there was a line forming just to snap a picture with him. I stood guard, making sure everything was alright and checking him constantly to make sure he wasn’t scared or exhausted.

************

Human after human. Bright flash stinging my eyes. I felt like I had swapped bodies with someone else. This couldn’t be my life. After that incident with the young girl, everyone was pretty respectful. Eveline only had to jump in a few times. As I got more and more used to this whole strange new thing, I started to warm up and relax. I felt more and more comfortable to play and be silly. I jumped in the air, played my guitar, made faces, kicked, thrust my fists in the air, tossed my hat, whatever, just trying to make their photo fun and memorable. These people were just enamored with me. That whole bachelorette party I'd clocked when we first arrived, surrounded me and took a photo, all of the ladies being quite drunk and flirtatious.

They were not subtle about wanting to “take me home and play with me….” My face flushed red. To my surprise, even those three fat jackasses who’d tried to tease me before, got in the line. They acted as if I was a completely different person, “Loved your music!” “You're great!” “Can’t believe you just picked it up!” I winked with a shit eating grin on my face at Eveline when they turned their backs to me. She smiled just as smugly in return.

After dozens and dozens of photos were taken, Travis slid my drink to me and crossed back to his mic. “Alright ladies and gentlemen. We are back in the saddle, so to speak. If you want to get your photos, get em after the show, cuz now we have two more songs to play for you, tonight.” Everyone cheered as they found a place to comfortably watch. Eveline winked at me from her spot in the corner.

I bounced up and down in place, trying to get my energy back to play some more. So much for a break…. I bent down and grabbed the shot glass, taking a swig. As soon as I held it up to my mouth to drink, the crowd went wild. It was adorable to look at, of course. This tiny man struggling to lift a glass the size of a bucket without spilling his liquor all over himself. They all cooed and awww’d and chuckled. I hoped eventually I’d have access to a glass I didn’t have to wrestle with just to drink from…. The alcohol buzzed through my veins and gave me new life. I shook my head, swiping my hair out of my eyes, “I’m ready… you guys ready?”

“1,2,... 1,2,3,4…!!!” And off to the races we went. I poured my heart and soul into the music. The crowd loved it.

Before I knew it, I was singing the last note of our encore song…. And we were done with the set. It felt like we had only just begun, but also that the beginning of this night was a lifetime ago. “Thanks so much to everyone who came out tonight. Did you have fun??”

“YEAH!!”

“What’d you think of our new lead? You think we should keep him?”

“FUCK YEAH!!”

“He’s incredible!”

“I want to keep him!”

“Who you goin’ home with tonight, little fella??” I chuckled nervously, not sure what to say.

“You’re adorable!!!”

“Yeah, we are pretty big fans of him too! Please, if you liked what you heard tonight, share your photos and videos to our official social media pages, we’re raffling off four free tickets to some select venues coming up! Well, you know the saying, good things come in small packages… I feel like that really is true of this guy… let’s hear it one more time for Penn!!!” The crowd hollered and cheered. I bowed and doffed my hat. They cheered louder.

“Thanks very much! Thanks for giving me a chance! You’ve all been great!”

“Awww, who couldn’t love you??”

“He’s such a little gentleman!”

“Thank you, everybody! We are Sticks and Stones, have a great night!” With that Travis ended the show.

***************

I rushed over to him, managing to get ahead of the crowd. I crouched before the stool, resting my chin on my hand. He was gleaming with sweat, his chest puffing as he fanned himself with his hat. “How do you feel?” He looked up, and then feigned surprise turning over his shoulders before pointing to himself, as if to say, "who, me?" I laughed. Glad to see he was flying high. “I’m incredible right now. Truly. Just waiting to wake up from the dream…” I brushed his cheek with my thumb.

“You ready to face your adoring crowd?” He nodded, shifting his weight. I grabbed the music stand and mic and pulled them to the side so that the view from the stage was unobstructed.

He handled it like a champ. People took photos, ogled at him, called him cute little names, some even took videos asking him to say hello or sing them happy birthday. He did so graciously, sweetly. Anyone who looked into his beautiful brown eyes couldn’t help but be enamored with him. Watching all this unfold I just couldn’t believe that Claire didn't see all the wonderful spirit and joy this little man brought to the world. She’d come so close to snuffing him out before he’d even had a chance to express himself. And now here, in this stuffy little bar, were people clamoring to meet him, as he became an instant celebrity.

I felt water start to fill in the corners of my eyes, but I blinked rapidly to disperse the tears. Eventually, the line dwindled and we were called over by Jack to the bar. Still tied to his instrument, strapped over his shoulder, I scooped him up in my cupped hand and carried him over. His little body was quite warm, as it came into contact with my palm. I would never, ever get tired of holding him. I was just as thrilled now as I had been the moment I’d picked him up off the snow covered ground. He was so tiny, so fragile and yet so much larger than life. And he trusted me. He relaxed inside my hands. Lovely, little, Penn could you get any more precious?

[fairy-serigala]

Are you forgetting that gray stalked lucy, by trying to follow her home?. Then getting caught by natsu. Then he broke into her apartment and stripped nude. It really shows that men can't be seen as stalkers while women characters like juvia are easy targets because she is an important side character. I literally don't understand the logic?, they did the same thing but nobody cares because gray is the tall dark and handsome guy everybody gloats over.

Look, there are other blogs for this kind of discussion, and this isn't one of them. This is the only butt-hurt gr///uvian I'm responding to, because it's the first, but from here on out I'm going to be deleting any and all messages like this.

(This ended up being much longer than I was anticipating so here's a cut so you don't have to see it all. TW: Mentions and discussion of abuse, stalking, gaslighting, sexual harassment & assault, double standards & misogyny, abuse apologism, and a single mention of rape culture.)

Let's get this over with quickly-

Gray stalked Lucy by trying to follow her home - Gray followed Lucy home because she said she thought she was being followed. He followed her to make sure she got home safely. He said this, even when he was caught by Natsu and Happy.

He broke into her apartment - So did Natsu and Happy and Erza and many, many other characters. No, it's not right when Gray does it. But it's also not right when anyone else does it. Either punish all off them or none of them, you can't cherry pick Gray because you don't like him.

He stripped nude - Yep. You're right. Go get yourself a cookie.

My friend runs the blog @absolutezerotolerance and I've heard all about you, Anon. I get it, you don't like Gray, you think he's an awful person who deserves all the abuse he endured, but here's the thing because you refuse to listen.

Just because Gray has done some shitty things, does not mean he deserves to be stalked and abused.

If you think he does then I hope to GOD that we never meet because you are an abuse apologist and I do not need to know someone like you.

Men who stalk women should be held accountable for their actions, it is not acceptable. Women who stalk men should be held accountable for their actions, it is not acceptable. There should not be a double standard, but unfortunately there is, and it doesn't go the way you think it does.

We hear all too often about men and masc. folk who get abused and stalked and hurt and no one believes them, because men are meant to be strong and tough and hide their emotions. I've seen on this very website people who believe that men are incapable of being abused because of some made up genetic component.

Men and masc. folk need to be listened to. This is not something that can be brushed aside, it is key and it is crucial. The wellbeing of men and masc. folk cannot be ignored.

And this is what's happening here, with Gray and Juvia and Lucy. No, it's not okay when Gray does it to Lucy. But Gray has suffered more at the hands of Juvia. That's all.

Gray should be held accountable for his actions, but Juvia's actions are simply further reaching and far more detrimental. They are indicative of a problem that makes me so, so sad to see.

Juvia isn't an easy target because we're looking for someone to hate. That isn't how this works, Anon. We hate Juvia because she gave us a reason to. Because she stalked Gray multiple times, including across several countries to Isvan. Because she has emotionally manipulated and gaslit him multiple times both after Ultear sacrificed herself and saved Gray, and on top of Gray's parents' grave after his father died a second time. Because she has a history of sexually harassing him - including touching him without permission and refusing to let go, and asking him to spank her when they a) aren't a couple and b) he makes it clear that he isn't comfortable with that. Because she objectifies him to such an extent that everything in her room is Gray-themed in some way - from multiple stuffed plushes, to a bar of soap that she uses to wash herself with. Because she admitted to sexually assaulting him during the one year time skip. Because he does not consent to what she does to him and she doesn't listen. Because she drugged him in an attempt to make her love him - removing consent from the equation all together.

What Gray does to Lucy isn't okay. But Juvia has a much, much longer list of crimes. This isn't okay to ignore. Especially when it's romanticised to this degree.

Your reasoning for ignoring everything Gray has gone through is the exact same reasoning that abuse apologisers and devil's advocates use to ignore women when they report abuse against them. "They're too pretty" or "this person did [x] to [third party] so they deserved it". It's a couple steps to the left of rape culture. Going to absurd lengths to ignore and dismiss Juvia of all wrongdoing and instead putting all the blame on Gray.

When I, or my friends, talk about GrUvia, we don't have to talk about Lucy. If she isn't relevant to the discussion, we don't have to bring her up and say "oh but don't think Gray's perfect because xyz". It doesn't cripple our arguments and it doesn't suddenly make everything we say redundant.

There are parts of Juvia that need to be discussed critically because they're a microcosm of a much bigger issue with today's society and the way it responds to abuse, abuse victims and abuse survivors.

We need to be able to look at situations like GrUvia and recognise that they're dangerous. Otherwise, how are we meant to do that when it comes to the real world? How am I meant to trust that if someone comes to you, Anon, saying they've been abused that you'll believe and help them?

This isn't about who's done worse, this is about the victims of stalking and abuse.

Laser focusing on the perpetrators only makes it more likely for victims to fall through the cracks without justice. And some, like Gray, may end up giving into their abusers and that isn't okay on any level.

Suffering isn't a competition, Anon. Gray is able to do shitty things and still be a victim, his right to health and safety can't be taken away because he isn't flawless. No one is flawless, but everyone deserves to be safe. This is all about empathy and listening to victims and having the ability to realise when a piece of media is perpetuating an idea that hurts and kills real people.

[darkshrimpemotions]

I don't know who needs to hear this but you HAVE to deal with your trauma. It isn't your fault it happened but it IS your responsibility not to lash out and cause pain and harm to others because you're hurting and you haven't dealt with it. And you WILL do that if you don't deal with it.

This goes double, triple, quadruple for white cis women specifically, because white cis women are uniquely positioned to weaponize their pain and their tears against people of color and trans women. White men have always used your (our, because despite not being cis I do know I'm often perceived that way) tears as justification for heinous acts of violence, and still do today, and you KNOW THIS. You cannot claim you don't know this. And yet the number of times I've seen cis white women, in my own life and just in general, project their trauma in a way that contributes to dehumanization and violence toward men of color and trans women is frankly fucking ridiculous.

It happens every time a conversation about police brutality gets derailed with an anecdote about an encounter with a predatory Black man. It happens when TERFs lobby for laws that harm trans people in the interest of "protecting women." It happened not long ago on tiktok when a white woman used her tears and her platform to imply an Indigenous man was guilty of assault for not giving her the kind of relationship she wanted. And yeah, it's happening right now as people rush to concern troll about how Will Smith's single punch thrown at a man using his platform to mock Jada Pinkett Smith's chronic illness to millions is somehow an indicator that he might currently be or eventually become abusive toward his wife and kids.

Quite aside from the fact that this take completely misunderstands how abuse and abusers work, it contributes to racist narratives about Black men that I KNOW y'all are aware of. And contrary to what you may think, citing your own trauma as a source is not support for your argument. It's you projecting your trauma onto a Black man and his family in ways that literally get Black men killed. Stop it. Especially in this case if you are a white woman, STOP IT.

You don't get a free pass on the harm you do when you lash out indiscriminately, no matter how much pain you're in. You are not blameless for the way you contribute to violence and narratives that justify violence against marginalized people. Your whiteness and your cisness give you power and privilege whether you want to recognize it or not, and when you wield that power from a place of pain and fear you quite literally cost men of color and trans women their lives.

You live in a society that tells you that your comfort and feelings of safety are paramount. I'm here to tell you that your comfort is not as important as someone else's life. You are not entitled to feeling safe if it costs someone else's actual safety. If you can't feel safe in the presence of men of color and trans women, that's a YOU problem that YOU need to get therapy for. Full stop.

You have to deal with your pain or you WILL be the cause of someone else's.