#it's that this is a thing our brain randomly decides is going to happen on a specific date

[thethingything]

okay so either there's a moth in our room that's somehow managed to completely avoid being seen other than in my peripheral vision, or this is the kind of hallucination our brain has decided to start having now instead of the non-existent spiders I'm used to hallucinating instead.

I get the feeling it probably is a hallucination which could mean:

we're gonna get an especially bad migraine

it's stress-induced but it'll continue being just hallucinations without us getting the other psychosis symptoms we find harder to deal with

it's stress-induced and I'm about to be in for a wild ride with psychosis symptoms

I need to sleep maybe

and I do not know which one it is but I guess we'll find out. I do have a headache that I've had almost constantly for... I have no idea how long, and I think it's because taking certain pain meds more than like 3 times a week gives us rebound headaches, so it might be to do with that.

I do also have some stuff going on in the background where the line between irrational fear and delusion gets very blurred, which has been going on for over a month, and our psychosis has been pretty bad in general this year (some of our delusions are triggered by physical health stuff so you can imagine how that's going for us) so like it could be that our brain's just decided to do weird shit again.

I'm mostly just not sure what to make of having what seems to be a new hallucination, or at least our brain interpreting the stuff it's seeing differently I guess?

we're used to hallucinations that are just dots that fly across our vision, and even the spiders were mostly just dots/blobs in our peripheral vision that our brain interpreted as spiders, whereas this is like, a shape that moves a specific way and appears to have fluttering wings and is just a lot more convincing, but as I've been typing this I got a couple of the hallucinations we're more used to so I'm pretty sure it is a hallucination and not like, a real creature flying around

[cutielando]

we can't be friends, part 3 | l.n.

synopsis: in which he finally confesses

part 1 part 2

my masterlist

Lando had never felt as confused and at a loss as he did in the days following the kiss you had shared. 

There was this gnawing feeling that wouldn’t leave him alone, a feeling telling him that he was an awful human being for continuing to deceive you, to lie to you about the past that you two shared and the history between you two. Hiding what happened between the two of you, the deep-rooted pain that he had caused you that had been so hurtful that you had to wipe away every single memory that you had made with him.

He knew that he had got a new chance to love you, to do things right this time around, but was he starting fresh by lying to you from the very first time you bumped into each other again? Was he any better than the first time around?

He had been battling with his thoughts for a good couple of days, trying to avoid having contact with you as much as possible so he wouldn’t be distracted.

You didn’t know how to feel when Lando suddenly started interacting with you less and less as the days went by. Your brain had started overthinking everything you had done the last time you had seen each other, trying to come up with answers about what you did that scared him off.

You came up with no answer.

And yet, the feeling of something being wrong never left your gut. You had had this feeling ever since you and Lando bumped into each other in the paddock. The sense that somehow, you knew him better than you imagined, that there was something more to the two of you than just randomly bumping into each other.

You couldn't shake the feeling over the course of the time you spent together. Your body and mind felt at ease whenever you were around him, like they had known and felt his presence a thousand times already.

The first time you and Lando had seen each other ever since the ghosting period you had been forced into was a week and a half later, when he had called you over to his place to ‘have a talk about everything.’ Deep down in your gut, you knew there was something more to just having a talk, but you went either way, eager to get some answers.

When you arrived at his place and entered the apartment, there was a momentary tension in the air between the two of you.

You awkwardly stood by the entrance door to the living room, Lando sat on the sofa fondling with his hands in his lap.

“Please, take a seat” he motioned, clearing his throat.

You gave him a small smile and sat next to him, keeping a distance between the two of you. Lando noticed that, but chose not to say anything for the time being.

“What did you want to talk about?” you asked, cutting straight to the chase.

The suspense had been killing you the entire ride to his apartment, you couldn’t wait any longer to find out why he had called you over.

“Right” he cleared his throat again. “Look, before this goes any further, I thought long and hard about this and decided you should know the truth before anything else happens” he started, making you furrow your eyebrows.

“What truth? What’s going on?” you shuffled closer to him, your knees now touching.

“You see, this isn’t the first time we’ve met” he said, making you feel even more confused. “We were together, a couple of years ago”

“Excuse me? You and I? Together? That’s not possible” you argued, now once again shifting further away from him.

“I know it sounds impossible, but just bear with me. We were together in the past, and we were very happy too, until I screwed things up. I started putting my career and friends above our relationship, we didn’t spend as much time together as we used to, we started fighting a whole lot when we did find time to be in the same room as each other. We were miserable because of me at the end” he said, hanging his head low.

You shook your head, your mind trying to wrap around the information you had just heard. It was just not possible, was it? You didn’t remember anything that he was saying, so how could you forget something like that?

“I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate, but this is insane. You realize that, right?” you said, standing up and pacing around the room.

“I know. We broke up after I forgot the anniversary dinner plans we had made weeks in advance. I remember the moment as if it were yesterday, the hurt in your eyes still haunts me to this day. You cut off all contact with me and a couple of months after, your sister told me that you had got a procedure done to wipe your memories of our relationship and me”

You stopped in your tracks, your eyes wide. All of those times that your gut told you that you knew this man, that you had been with him before somehow, it all made sense now. You wiped your memories of him, but your body couldn’t deny the effect that he had on you still.

“I know you hate me right now, and rightfully so. The moment I saw you those months ago in the paddock felt like the universe had finally given me a chance to start over, to do better this time. I would never, ever even dream about hurting you again like I did the first time around. You deserve so much better than that and I want to give you the world. I decided to tell you this so we wouldn’t start anything based on a lie”

You bit your lip, turning back to look at him.

The look in his eyes, so desperate for you to say something to him, was the most sincere one you had ever seen. Your brain was telling you to get the hell out, run away and forget about ever starting anything with the man that had hurt you once. But your heart was doing the exact opposite: what if you two meeting again was indeed a sign? A sign that you were meant to try again, give it one more shot?

You didn’t know what to do.

Your mind and your heart were waging a war inside of you, and Lando could see the turmoil behind your eyes. He knew he had just ambushed you with so much information that you had to comprehend, and he wouldn’t blame you if you wanted nothing to do with him from that point onwards.

“Can I have some time to think it through before I make a decision?” you asked, looking at him.

He nodded immediately, getting up to stand in front of you.

“Take all the time you need. No matter the decision you decide to take, I’m going to respect it” his words made you smile sadly and nod. 

You placed a kiss on his cheek as you made your way towards the front door, leaving the apartment and a broken Lando behind.

Lando felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest, but another one, even heavier, had taken its place. He knew, deep down, that he had just done the right thing for the both of you. Then why did it feel so wrong? Why did it feel like he just killed your relationship for good?

Sighing, he couldn’t do anything else other than wait for you, make sure to give you space and hope that you decide he’s not a total creep and he’s worth your time.

Your thoughts were scattered all over the place as you walked through the streets to your apartment. The information you had just been fed swirling around in your mind at lightning speed. You didn’t know what you were supposed to believe, what you were supposed to think of the whole situation.

Does Lando deserve a second chance? Has he really changed as much as he says? Or had he just jumped at the chance to use you and the fact that your memory was altered to weasel his way into your life again? 

Was getting in bed with him after what he had done dangerous?

Maybe.

But something deep inside of you was telling you that maybe, just maybe, this is how things were supposed to happen.

You had been so deep in thought that you didn’t realize where you were. You were expecting to find yourself in front of your apartment building, ready to think about it and have a good night’s sleep.

And yet, your feet had had a mind of their own. Only explanation as to why you stood, once again, in front of Lando’s apartment door. Deep down, despite all of the things that you thought you had to think about, your heart had already decided for you. 

Knocking on the door, you didn’t need to wait for too long before Lando opened the door, standing there with a confused expression.

“Y/N?” he asked as he watched you enter the apartment, closing the front door behind him.

“I know I said I needed some time to think everything through, but the truth is I don’t need time. I don’t remember anything about us before, and I don’t want to remember. Us meeting and reconnecting again shows me that we’re supposed to try this out one more time. Forget about the past and turn over a new leaf” you explained, watching the stress leaving his shoulder and his frown turn into a smile. 

Lando let out a sigh of relief as he listened to you, his plagued mind finally being set free. He didn’t know what to say to you, so he did the next best thing he knew.

He closed the gap between the two of you, taking your face in his hands and kissing you as if his life depended on it, having been deprived of your touch for way too long. 

You gasped, the feeling of his lips on yours sending shocks all throughout your body. He felt so good, his lips on yours feeling like they were made for each other, like two pieces of a puzzle.

And then, you knew, in your heart, that you had made the right decision.

Right?

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[himegureisu]

The Howler

Summary: Your husband, Severus, receives a Howler from you.

A/N: This prompt randomly passed through my brain. I thought it would be nice. It did take a day or two to write but here it is! I hope you like it, this is the first time I'm writing for Severus x Reader.

--------------

In the Great Hall, the breakfast banquet was served. Their students eagerly chattered among friends over good food and drink before classes. On the other hand at the High Table, small talk and occasional personal questions were exchanged.

That’s until the owls, in turn, the mail, came for the day.

Their tiny but sturdy claws carried various packages from letters, gifts, newspapers, and journal subscriptions. Among them, one particular barn owl was heading straight toward the High Table holding a distinct red letter.

From afar, Severus could see the owl, ignoring the House Tables, and coming straight for him. It wasn’t his owl. No, it was your owl. If it was your owl then…

“Oh dear,” Severus said,

By his side, Minerva, who was perusing her copy of the Wizarding World News stopped, to glance at him as the owl dropped the angry red letter above his plate.

“Severus,” she asked, the attention of other professors turned to him, “Is that a Howler?”

“Who would send our dear Severus a Howler?” Filius asked after,

You. His wife. Would send a Howler. You, who were undeniably cross after being forgotten.

Your owl chirped, Severus presented to her a treat, which she happily accepted before flying off. He stared at the Howler mentally preparing for the reprimand about to happen when Dumbledore said.

“Well go on, Severus, open it,” he urged, “I heard it is unwise to leave Howlers unanswered,”

So, he did.

“Severus Tobias Snape!” your voice echoed throughout the Hall, the student's attention on him, “You forgot about the move! I reminded you a thousand times when it was, and you still didn’t come.”

This time the Great Hall was quiet. Their attention focused on the tirade given to their most hated professor.

Let’s just say he wanted to die then and there.

“I know you hate handing your classes off to someone else, but I at least thought you’d make an exception for me!” you shouted at him in mind, “I moved across the continent for god sake! Do you know how much stuff I had? No! Do you know hard it was to transport all my boxes into the Manor? No! It was hard and that was with magic already. The only good thing you did was leaving the portkey because if you didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to enter the damned Manor and would be standing outside of it looking like a fool!”

The Howler paused.

“I love you but if you don’t come home tonight to help me unpack, you’re going to find yourself locked out of your own house.”

The Howler combusted thereafter.

His colleagues were in shock at the message conveyed. His students stared in a mix of horror, amusement, and curiosity. On the other hand, he was so screwed. His composure slowly faltered upon deliberating what to do and quickly decided on the appropriate course of action.

To go home to you.

“If you’d excuse me for the day, Professor,” Severus addressed Dumbledore, standing up from his seat, “I need to make it up to someone,”

“You can take the rest of the week off, Severus,” Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling in wonder, “It seems you have some groveling to do,”

“That I do, Professor,” he answered, walking away then sighing, “That I do,”

Part 2 is up 💖

[satuwn]

i have decided to randomly infodump about my lab rats as a way to motivate myself to: 1) revamp existing characters old refs and 2) DRAW THE GD REFERENCES OF THE REST OF THE BITCHES (this will probably take me ages still. alas), more rambly details abt the story and characters under the cut

the main characters: Dr. Kitty Whisker and her twin sibling Happy(tbd), Dr. Brainworms, Gummi (comic relief character mostly), Prof. Fuzzybottom(tbd) and Prof. Snakebite (previously known as prof. pinky, i need to redesign him more heavily)

the side characters (these guys may have side stories of their own but theyre mostly just an excuse for me to design more weird lab rats): Prof. Smartypants - ref to be finished, ferret with a brain of a human, she is my 'authors blatant self insert' into my own story lol; Fishsticks (drawn, a dissected mouse/frog stitched together), (the rest of these dont have names yet) a rat/chick hybrid with funy lil chicken legs, a rat/gator/shark hybrid she is punk and goth and she Bites, a mouse/cat dna mix with a surprisingly tragic backstory that im still working out, more tba

each lab rat represents usually an amalgamation of different experiments as the lab they are in is 'cheap' with their test subjects and likes to Repurpose old, usually failed experiments and do other stuff to them! honestly even if theyre a success they still end up getting experimented on more lol but they are still unimportant enough and the lab big enough where they can hide themselves away and have their own space w/o being actively searched for. ofc the world of the setting is based on our own reality but way more Hyperreal, i dont aim to represent logical feats of science bc a lot of these guys would defs be revolutionary (and impossible) irl lol. i will briefly run down what each main character is a result of but ideally id like to go into more detail when i actually. make the story more visual in whatever format i decide to do (probably experimental and non linear snippets, i dont think im smart enough for a full comic)

Dr. Kitty and Happy are twins! they were the result of an experiment where the scientists were testing if one species of rodent could gestate a different species of rodent just thru a little genetic modification. and that was Happy! he is actually a bunny born from a rat mother and with all rat siblings (one of them being Kitty) hes a bit smaller in stature than a usual bunny being more rat sized but other than that just a bnuuy! further experiments on them was how well skin grafting would work between different yet similar species. it worked for Kitty (hence the bunny ear) but not so much for Happy... both of them had separate experiments done on them also, altho Kitty was more rebellious of the two earning her the shock collar. Happy also had experiments on his fur to make it color changing like a chameleon, as well as some experiments to his eye (tbd)

Dr. Brainworms is actually a sapient amoeba/bacteria type thing, attached to a host body(that happens to be a hairless rat), this host body is her most compatible one as she Can overtake and control other bodies but they start to decay pretty quickly. her history is something she herself is trying to find out as her host body is its own mystery.. is she just an amoeba that gainted sentience? is her mind really her own? was this body maybe always hers? who knows!

Gummi is a jelly belly gummy rat candy brought to life, pretty self explanatory... but shes got a few mysteries of her own! like, why was she even created, for what purpose, i mean who could even do such advanced science anyway to bring an inorganic candy to life, and Why does she keep talking abt a scientist with green gloves when there arent any scientists like that around?

Prof. Fuzzybottom is a rabbit! she used to be just used for breeding new test subjects which left her pretty traumatized not being able to keep any of her children, she became infertile from the stress so she was repurposed for other experiments, like trying to turn her fur to naturally be an unnatural color, and to be more synthetic like faux fur (aka a living plush) she was also blind so they replaced her eyes with a plushy sleeping mask that actually has LEDs inside that are hooked up to her brain to see if they could restore vision thru cybernetics. in her original iteration she was even supposed to be half rat half bunny buut i felt it too much, might still reuse the idea tho! tbh i just wanted a bunny with cute rat hands :3

Prof. Snakebite is not even a lab rat originally, he was simply a pinky rat used to feed the lab snakes, but due to freak circumstances he was actually still alive and after being bitten by a venomous snake, the stress hormones in his little body make him develop rapidly especially in brain power. as he was still very tiny and fragile, he wasnt the best subject to experiment on, but he was fitted with a brain chip originally just to read and analyze his brain development as he was much more advanced in mind than in body (of an almost newborn). after escaping he would upgrade his brain chip to help him utilize more brain power but also lessen the burden on his tiny body that could not handle the strain. he and prof. fuzzybottom are always hanging around each other, fuzzy very often babying him or just helping him out by carrying him and helping him reach places or handle objects, while he begrudgingly tolerates her as she is useful to his needs. also cant admit he appreciates her actually awww

the rest of the side characters are pretty self explanatory, theyre mostly just various animal hybrids and crossbreeds and splices! smh only the main characters get cool powers and shit -_- aside from Prof. Smartypants, after having a ferrets body fitted with a human mind(who doesnt remember the human part almost at all. its just the advanced intellect from it) tries to figure out the weird body dysmorphia with Science Potions aka chemisty. but thats mostly just to give another one of my sonas shapeshifting ablities (go figure) so yah if u read this so far Waow o_o Thank U and also Pls Send me asks abt this. if u want <3 can be questions or just ur thoughts ig!! id love feedback pleas please plea

[cleolinda]

Weekend links

My posts

I have been amorphously unwell (migraines, dizziness, aches) this week, which is super great. I am, in fact, daunted by the complexities and unknowns.

See "Personal tag of the week" at the bottom for updates on the Tumblr happenings.

Reblogs of interest

Thousands of Israelis protest in Tel Aviv, demanding a hostage release/ceasefire deal and new elections.

I never know how to segue from a serious news item.

Theseus liveblogs the labyrinth, and it’s heartbreaking.

Before hbomberguy was going after plagiarism, he was playing Donkey Kong for trans rights.

“to touch is to interact, and when you put your hand on your dog the universe does not know that you are separate”

The universe knows you are separate from this cat’s Absolute Terror Field

Cats named Pigeon

The most dramatic cat

Figure out what starts your engine and ride the waves of your brain

This is not van fundamentalism

Lawful good werebears

The Godmother is not committed to the kindness

Escape room employees reveal the worst, or best, things they’ve seen on the job.

“So I explained to him the story of ‘Alice’s Restaurant,’ and he began to get MAD”

It seems that y’all do not understand that the Better Call Saul ads are just how we live in the US, and that I pass five Alexander Shunnarah billboards just to get a quesadilla. 

1) Don’t take your native animals for granted. 2) This jay is the bluebird of happiness, apparently.

Wisdom from a Tumblr longtimer

Benign chain posts: the Money Garf

Video

Every now and then I fall apaaaaaart

Click through for a massive gothic rock playlist on YouTube

It’s a great dance contest entry--but then they tell you it’s also randomly-paired improv

Capybara capybara (capybara)

The sacred texts

You have not seen a sacred internet text until you have seen the Lolrus (2006)

Personal tag of the week

“the happenings” is my tag for all internet platform bullshit. This week, it’s Tumblr, as CEO Matt Mullenweg lost his shit and started harassing a trans user (including on another platform). This is a factual explanation early in the week of what happened and how it started: 

predstrogen (the first blog) was allegedly deleted for “sexually explicit material” despite any posts that may have been labelled as such being marked with a community label and her blog recently being manually approved as NOT containing adult content. she also talks in this post, as well as here, about how she has had a support ticket open for several months for harassment she was receiving that has not been dealt with

the CEO of tumblr made a post wherin he publicly aired information regarding her deletion and threatened legal action against her , showing examples of the alleged death threats where no actual threats were made and telling people in the replies to just leave if they were unhappy with the moderation of the site

Specifically, he was upset by the expressed wish that he perish in a car covered in hammers that would explode multiple times, a serious threat that could surely come to fruition in reality. If you can't tell that I'm being sarcastic, congratulations, you're CEO material.

It spiraled from there, but suffice it to say, it ended with trans employees posting on the Staff account (reblog here with commentaries):

The reality of predstrogen’s suspension was not accurately conveyed, and made it seem like we were reaching for opportunities to ban trans feminine people on the platform. This is not the case. The example comment shared in the post linked above does not meet our definition of a realistic threat of violence, and was not the deciding factor in the account suspension. Matt thereafter failed to recognize the harm to the community as a result of this suspension. Matt does not speak on behalf of the LGBTQ+ people who help run Tumblr or Automattic, and we were not consulted in the construction of a response to these events.

While the post is sincerely emotional and brave, the real chess move is this part:

We appreciate the space we have been given to express our concerns and dissent, and we are thankful that Matt’s (and Automattic’s) strong commitment to freedom of expression has facilitated it. We will continue to fight to make Tumblr safe for us all.

Matt Mullenweg now either has to nod and go, “Yeah, yeah... I’m a great guy committed to freedom...” Or he can, I don’t know, shut the site down in a fit of defiant pique? All I’m going to say about this is that the day all this first went down, I started archiving any posts I’d put significant effort into last year, and I’ll be crossposting them on Dreamwidth and Patreon. I don’t want to lose Tumblr’s culture and unique platform--I mean, I think the Weekend Links themselves make a case for the fact that there is nothing else like Tumblr on the internet. And shutting down is not even necessarily the most likely outcome--but I’m not gonna be caught unprepared, either. 

[anonymoosen]

ZIMPAI SHIZPOST STORY PART 2!!

(UNFORTUNATELY, IM BURNING ALL OF UR EYES AND AM MAKING A SECOND PART! HOPE YALL DONT DIE-)

About to yell the same thing to Zim-kun again, Dib hesitated and took a step back.

Sparkling tears fell from Dibby-chan’s glowing anime eyes, and they gradually started to darken as this was of course, an exaggerated overly dramatic anime scene. (SORRY ANIME LOVERS, FOR SPOILING UR LOVE FOR ANIME WITH THIS THING)

The stinky dookie brained alien love interest suddenly noticed the big headed boy’s waterfall of tears and stepped closer to him. The latter gave out a small cute gazp, hoping for an adorable cliché romantic scene to happen.

When Zimpai was only a few inches away from Dib-chan’s face he leaned even closer and placed his super buff anime finger below Dib’s chin and whispered…

“Dib-chan,” he continued, “I…”

Dib’s heart began to go DOKI DOKI- I mean it began to pound loudly against his rib cage, feeling like it was about to burst out for Zim to steal once again… (no like actually, Zim literally stole Dib’s heart after deciding that stealing his lungs wasn’t enough)

The green boy’s lips was so close to Dib’s…

…until it moved away, over to Dib’s ear.

I mean it’s not a kiss, but it’s good enough I guess….?? Is he gonna confess his love to me?! OMGOMGOMG IM SOO GONNA ANIME FANGIRL OVER THIS- wait where did that come from?? Anyway…could this be it?! D-did my stupid idiotic alien Zimpai….finally notice me…?! Dib thought to himself while trying to suppress the dorky fanboying squeals he wanted to make.

The silence between the boys finally broke when Zim-kun lovingly whispered in his deep buff manly voice,

“…peepee,”

Dib blinked in confusion.

“…You mean our old class hamster?”

Zim grinned from ear to ear and cackled maniacally, “PEEPEEPOOPOOOOO!!!”

Dib-chan started to hyperventilate and turn his back on Zim dramatically. Small silhouettes of leaves started to blow past them and Zim began to randomly grow handsome eyebrows…

In between sobs, Dib sniffled…

“Is that how you really feel, Zim-kun?”

TO BEEEEE CONTINUEUEDD- (Unfortunately)

PART 1

PART 3

[eisforeidolon]

It really does seem that getting too deep into niche shipping fandom absolutely kills some people's media literacy. Like, I was reading this interesting anon post on Nancy's blog [X] about following a rewatcher going on about bi lighting and expecting a romantic HEA from fucking Supernatural and it sent my brain off on a tangent.

I mean, I remember thinking literary interpretation in school was so fucking absurd when it got to the point of analyzing a goddamn autobiography and waffling on about the author remembering the grass in the spring being green when they moved as a symbol of rebirth. As absurd as I still think interpreting on that level is? It did work thematically, because the interpretation matches the surface level of the story - that was when the character's life started through a period of growth/rebirth. Did they intentionally mention the grass for the symbolism of the color green, consciously or unconsciously? Fuck if I know (or care, tbh).

The problem with the way hellers (and other similar conspiracy shippers) try to use this kind of interpretation is that they ignore several majorly important factors that apply when you're talking about an open canon rather than a closed one where you know the ending. When you do this with a story that's finished, where you know the whole picture? Even if you're so openminded about what the story could have been despite all genre conventions and other outside information that your brain is on the verge of falling out and rolling away down a hill? You can filter out the noise of potential symbols and meanings that do not match that finished, overarching story. And there is a lot of fucking noise, because our brains really, really like to find patterns whether they exist or not - but most random details are not intentional symbolism, and most symbols do not have one single definitive meaning. With any sufficiently large text (which SPN definitely is), you could pick out enough random symbols and meanings to point to literally any-fucking-thing you wanted as a possibility - but without knowing the end that's no more an indication of what direction the story is actually heading than any other randomly chosen set of symbols and meanings.

In the above example, let's say you don't know anything about autobiographies in general, that author's life in particular, and stopped reading at that chapter to try and predict what'll happen next. Aha, the grass out of the window when they moved in spring was GREEN! Well, yes, that might symbolize growth and the character's life finally starting on a new positive path now. But green can also symbolize naivety and/or hope, and that could have been a brief shining moment of good possibilities before things went even more to shit. Hell, it can also mean jealousy, where maybe it would turn out their best friend who stayed behind got an opportunity they missed because they moved. Not only are those not the only possible symbolic meanings of the color? The author might have also just decided to describe the grass out the window as green because grass is generally fucking green in spring, yo. A major part of the reason someone can sit and pontificate about the ~*deep symbolic meaning*~ of that passage without potentially being obviously hilariously wrong is that they DO know where it ultimately leads and have tossed out the interpretations that explicitly don't fit the story.

What the shippers in question try to do is insist they know what the ending HAS TO BE ... because reasons. As such, every single symbol they find which could potentially signal that ending must be doing so, despite any number of other possible meanings ... because reasons. Naturally the symbols that they find are actually meaningful symbols as opposed to every single other random detail in the story with potential meaning ... because reasons. Then we reach the end of the story and they're oh-so-shocked that because reasons ... isn't a real basis for anything, actually. HOW COULD MY AMAZING INTERPRETATIONS HAVE BEEN SO WRONG WHEN I CHERRY-PICKED THEM SO CAREFULLY? CONSPIRACY! HATE CRIME! WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! There was never any basis for their assumption they knew those symbols were legitimately symbols with significance, let alone their assumption they knew the ending - other than their own fixation and entitlement.

Just to finally drive the point home about how absurd it all is? In my original autobiography example, we're talking about an autobiography of a famously successful person. Any remotely savvy reader can make pretty reasonable guesses from the genre conventions of autobiographies, that person being Known Name successful, and context in the surrounding text about how important that move was going to be to the author's life to be such a focus - and therefore what things in the surrounding text might be *cough* reasonable symbolic signposts. There's still some potential to be wrong about the particulars of that moment, but it's a more educated guess about where the story is likely to go because of everything you know about the protagonist and the genre.

Similarly, any remotely savvy watcher who has some familiarity with horror fantasy as a genre, who spent fifteen seasons watching a show where everyone fucking dies and two brothers are obsessively and intensely brothering each other to the exclusion of all their other relationships every episode, from every single premiere through every single finale? Nevermind anyone who also basically ever heard the showrunners and stars talk about it? Is not going to reasonably think, oh, hey, this is totally going to end with the single central relationship of the show indifferently separating to turn into a fluffy HEA romcom with random side characters. Even if you take off the ending of that sentence which is "because I totally found a bunch of secret clues in food and lighting that told me so".

It makes no fucking sense on a micro interpretation level of symbolism and signposts, and it makes no fucking sense on a macro interpretation level of genre and overarching themes. But, like, they really wanted it, so who cares about that? Um, all the rest of us who actually liked the show for what it was, not an entirely different thing we tried to convince ourselves it would eventually have to be ... because reasons. Especially anyone who gives even half a shit about how decent storytelling in media actually works.

[pixies-and-poets]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvPzjsNO6Ud/?igshid=NjIwNzIyMDk2Mg==

I'm sorry if this message seems odd, but there's a secret message in this post that you might be exited by! (Just ask me if you can't figure it out or don't want too.) Again, sorry if this ask is weird!

NO, NO, IT'S NOT WEIRD AT ALL

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS BECAUSE I HAD *THE DREAM* LAST NIGHT AND I WAS JUST SITTING DOWN TO POST ABOUT IT..... I guess I'll do it in this ask then!

OK SO WHAT I MEAN BY "THE DREAM" is the prophetic Phantom dream that all of us M+R fans seem to be having, in our own ways. It finally happened to me!

So I dreamed I was on vacation with my parents and brother, like the one I just came back from, except this time we were in this weird steampunk version of New York City. There was a lot regarding that I could talk about, but the important part for our purposes is that Ubisoft randomly dropped the third DLC out of nowhere the day I was going to leave, so I decided to take the Switch even though I don't normally take it on trips.

I didn't have much chance to play it because I wasn't able to download it until I got to my destination, and then I was trying to grab little moments here and there when we were on public transportation, or in our hotel. So my dream was jumping back and forth between the steampunk New York scenes and the game.

As for the game, the heroes had landed on this planet that I could best describe as looking like Palette Prime in the spring (similar vibes but a lot more green), and I think my brain forgot this was supposed to be a Rayman thing lol because all the Mario characters were there. When they got there, they found there was a strange cult and everyone was talking about their "new leader" and how some people respected him but others were afraid.

Then cut to a scene of Phantom spying on the heroes! He was in some kind of abandoned church or temple, looking out an ornate window, and he also had some kind of little underling with him. He was infuriated that the heroes had arrived there and he flew threw a wall.

The rest of my experience with the game was mostly just exploring, except Phantom would send up menacing faces/images into the sky to scare the Heroes (like translucent holograms/illusions), but they were just generic scary faces (not his own) so they hadn't figured out who it was yet.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sure this whole cult thing came from @hostess-of-horror comparing Phantom to Cthulhu with him invading our dreams and us trrying to summon him, lol.

I was super happy but I had vowed not to get on the internet until I beat the DLC so nothing would be spoiled for me, but I just knew everyone would be happy. And when I woke up, it all seemed so real that I said, "He's coming back for sure!" But throughout the past few hours, that wore off and I came back to my realistic and grounded self who never gets her hopes up!

And THEN as I sit down to type up the dream and share it with you all, I see this ask!

What a day!

(Btw I pre-ordered this album a while back lol so I will get it eventually!! And we have the old tech to listen to it on because my partner is a vintage stuff enthusiast)

Ahem but anyway

THEY'RE JUST FUCKING TELLING US NOW

FLKASJFLKASJDFLKA GAAAAAAAAARHGHLAKDSHF ALKDSJFLDJSLKFJLKSJ

We were RIGHT this time, friends. The theories, the foreshadowing, the attention that we paid, it will be rewarded!!!

Ok now I have to go back to my job... somehow......... I'm expected to work......

[greensagephase]

Dropping this at your inbox and then running away…

Haha no but seriously

I’ve talked to you about how I’m trying to work on Peter and his looks, I’m still figuring out how to draw him on my own style…

But in this case while I was looking for references I found a picture of the model on whom Peter Parker of insomniac videogame is based on and I just thought he looked so freaking cute there I melted 😭😭😭, im actually now obsessing over him , and I decided to try copy the picture (although the drawing it’s not that close to the style I’m focusing on my Peter drawings, it’s a lil bit different cause also I don’t know how to stick into a style yet I’m still figuring it out).

Anyway my thoughts just kept leading me on the fact that this would be a perfect picture that my Spider would have on her wall, one of the many she has of her Peter, it would probably have been taken by her on a date night where she took an improv picture of him looking at her softly 🥺🥺🥺🥺 or smth like that, idk I keep picturing lot of soft scenarios for Peter that I think I’m going insane.

So I drew a picture frame over it and her hands caressing the picture (?) Poe maybe giving it a kiss before putting it back on the wall, like it happened on one of the chapters of NVC, cause I’m a sucker about all those sweet tender moments where she remembers Peter, means so much to me, cause even before all these Spiderverse things and hyper fixations over Miguel, Peter(Spider-Man) is my favourite super hero so he has a special place in my heart.

So yeah here it is, a lil rendition to my Peter, that can change when I figure more out his style rather than basing him that much on the model hehe

No, the way I opened the ask and saw the drawing - let me just give you a mental picture of me - just imagine a woman sitting at her desk and looking at her laptop and then opening this and she just starts banging her fist on the desk and trying very hard not to scream too loud but also hyperventilating BECAUSE THIS IS SO FREAKING CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TENDER, AND SWEET AND ANA YOU GOT ME INTERNALLY SCREAMING AND REALLY CRYING!!!!!!!!!

The actor/model for Peter in the insomniac videogame - I think I'm going to start obsessing over him, too, don't mind me because HE'S SO CUTE!! Talking about him with you also makes me want to play the videogames even though I suck at those type of games but I'm seriously considering playing it!! (I've tried just swinging around and it was so much fun, hehe!!)

You got me CRYING over how this would be a photo of Peter on your spidersona's wall - you're SO RIGHT!!!!! And the little backstory on how this would be taken during a date night and reader capturing this moment randomly and the way it would be just one of the many, many, many times of Peter just staring at reader like this, with such pure love and adoration for her - I'm not doing well at all, I have REAL TEARS in my eyes right now just thinking about it!!!

🥺😭 It's so so crazy and I mentioned it so many times before to @sunsetdoodler but I never imagined reader's Peter to become so important to me - like, I'm fully attached to this character even though he's not an active character in the story but every time I write about him, my heart melts. PETER AND READER LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!! Their love was so beautiful and special - and I'm rambling now but I love talking about our Peter so much and seriously, this is so freaking sweet, tender, and beautiful to think about. I mentioned it in my message but sometimes I get the urge to write something about Peter and reader - like a regular day in their lives and how they interacted before he passed away in a one-shot but I swear - I don't think my heart could take it. I would be crying the entire time, I think 😭😭

AND OMG READER GIVING IT A KISS LIKE SHE DID IN THAT PART my brain can't think of which part specifically rn but I know which one you're talking about and I'm crying even more now when I have a mental image of what that picture looks like!!!!! I'm not doing well but in a good way, I swear!!! 😭😭😭

Also, I feel you so much!!! Peter (Spider-Man) has always had a special place in my heart even since I was a kid. Spider-Man was the first superhero I watched on theaters (Tobey Maguire's Peter) and ever since then, Spider-Man has been one of my top favorite superheroes!! No matter what new superhero pops up, Spider-Man is always there for me!!!

Ana, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME 😭❤️ It's made my night and even though I'm crying, they're happy tears!! Also, I'm so excited to continue to see your Peter take shape as you work on him and find your style drawing him. What I've seen already has a chokehold on me !!! 😭 THANK YOU!!!!!! 🥺❤️

[catgrassplantdad]

omg the boys definitely consider themselves soulmates

oh they definitely do. like they don't really say that shit, they don't call each other their soulmate to other people or anything, but i think maybe sometimes they have these profound moments in their brains where it sort of hits them, and they're like, yeah. yeah our souls are entwined i think. wait i'm imagining a scenario.

they're sitting on the couch, ian's playing a video game and mickey's just watching for now, and he has his feet in ian's lap and it's just so comfortable and easy to be next to him and to spend such time with him. and it's something he often takes for granted, this comfort. but he looks to ian's face and he has this dorky look of intensity and concentration like whatever game he's playing is the most important thing that's ever happened, and mickey has one of those moments. just out of nowhere. it happens sometimes. there's this tightening in his chest and this fulfilling sense of contentment and this wave of pure, unadulterated love, and he thinks, "wow, we were always supposed to be here. no matter what happened, i was going to end up here, just like this, with him."

and ian senses him staring, so he glances over real quick and is like, "what?" before looking right back at what he's doing.

and mickey's like, "nothing." but then he changes his mind and has a moment of deciding to be soft and genuine, because he knows how much ian appreciates those bits of him, and fuck it, he's feeling sentimental. "this is nice, huh?"

"what, me getting my ass kicked? shit, fuck..."

"no, dumbass, pause the game. c'mon, just real quick."

he waits for ian to comply and turn his attention to him. he looks at him expectantly.

"i love you," mickey says simply.

ian huffs a laugh. "i love you, too, weirdo."

mickey nudges his toes into ian's stomach affectionately.

"this is what i meant. this is nice, you know?" he shrugs, going for nonchalance, feeling a little vulnerable. "we get to just hang out together. because we ended up together." after everything, they ended up together. after it felt for so long like they wouldn't, they did. but he leaves that part left unsaid.

he's not sure if that statement gets the depth of his thoughts across properly and completely, but ian certainly gets some of it, if the way his smile softens is any indication. dude looks like he's going to burst into tears.

"yeah, it's really nice. i like hanging out with you," ian says.

he holds the controller in one hand for a moment as he rubs mickey's legs. they look at each other, and mickey tries to communicate with his gaze what he meant, how deeply and strongly he feels about this, how powerful these little moments can randomly be for him sometimes. he tries to convey that he knows he's looking at his soulmate.

he thinks ian gets it. he's getting the same shit right back from him.

ian goes back to playing his game, mickey watches the screen with a smile, married as hell to his soulmate, and he feels more thankful than he ever has.

[stylecouncil]

“Mark was absolutely true unto himself. People always say push the envelope, but for Mark E Smith there was no envelope. He was creating from a place of absolute artistic purity – it was a place that was true to him. The thought of having his voice silenced after all these years is so upsetting to me.

He was not formally educated, he was not coming from a muso school – he was the opposite of that. He was a brilliant poet, probably one of the best. He was a real contrast of a person – on one hand he hated it when people ripped off the band but at the same time was frustrated that he wasn’t revered, though I think later in life he was – and definitely now he will be. The Fall was not a mainstream taste and to some people it was an ugly sound but to people like me and to people that know, it was a beautiful, intellectual, multi-dimensional dynamic sound, that could resonate with the deepest cores of each individual.

[When we met] I was living in Chicago and I was a complete Anglophile, especially about music – my name was Brixton then, from ‘Guns of Brixton’ by The Clash. I bought ‘Slates’ (1981) by The Fall – it was the time of fluffy poodle rock stars with tight crotch showing pants and this was the opposite. I’d never heard anything like it – it wasn’t derivative of anything, it was completely unique. Two weeks later, randomly they were playing in Chicago. It was fate. We had our fake IDs and I remember watching the show and being utterly transfixed and transported. The music seemed to penetrate dimensions – it took me out of my headspace and out of my reality. After the show I decided to venture downstairs to the bar, an insecure teenager on her own, and I literally smacked into Mark Smith. He had a bottle of beer in each hand and white powder coming out of his nose. It was like the universe thrust us together and there was an instant connection. When fate deals me a hand, I follow it if it feels right. He said would you like to go to a party and I was like ‘sure’. We went in my car and I had my demo tape of my band in my bag. I put it in the cassette player and there were three songs. He said ‘who wrote this’ and then turned to me and said ‘you’re a fucking genius’. I was flabbergasted. His brain was already whirling about what was happening. Our love affair and the music was seamlessly put together.

He was super respectful, chivalrous and had great manners. There were all the right flags waving. We went to sleep in the same bed and did nothing but by the next morning when we woke up, we were in love. [Six weeks later] he bought me a one way ticket [to the UK]. My mom bought me the return, ‘in case he turns out to be a drunk or a wife-beater’, were her words.

We had a deep love and a deep connection that went beyond love because we created stuff together. I feel like the songs we wrote together are actually our children, our gifts to the world. The energetic connection between us did not die – and it probably won’t die with this death. I can still feel him.

He’s left his own legacy, that’s the best thing. You can see his entire life and career in all the records; some are good, some are bad, some are better, some are different, some are more appealing, less appealing, some are commercial, some are not commercial. His legacy is left and he did a fucking good job there. I would urge people to look at his lyrics because he is truly a brilliant poet. He lived the life that he wanted to live, he made his own choices. Yes he was miserable, but he was the cause of his own misery. He wasn’t always miserable – he’s a complex human. From his darkest places is where his spark of creativity was born. He was a very, very, very bright man and I’m very grateful to have had the privilege of him as a writing partner and people should be grateful for his contribution to music, because that can’t be underestimated.”

- Brix Smith on the passing of Mark E. Smith, NME, January 25 2018 (x)

[system-of-a-feather]

[this post welcomes and encourages people who might have a similar experience or two cents to add to feel free to add their bit here!]

It's really kind of funny how our system operates because Aya and I are the only parts that - even when a fused whole - still tend to present distinctly as themselves randomly at times.

I find it interesting the parts that tend to present as themselves regardless of if we are a fused whole atm tend tk be the most Autistic parts and I wonder if there is a connection there.

I I think it probably has something to do with unmasking or something similar maybe

Because its actually mostly Aya, followed by me then Chunn that appear like this and the three of us are the three "most autistic" parts

Maybe other parts of our brain sometimes shutdown due to autism and it just leaves the rest of us as predominant parts thus kind of making certain ones of us pop out more or something. Its just, interesting things.

Cause we are in slight autistic like... burn out rn I think and our brain just decided to mega amplify my part which is... interesting to say the least. Im STILL Feathers the whole, but its more accurate to say Im Lin rn since my part is just that extremely prominent rn

The way our parts present when we are operating as a fused whole is always a kind of interesting and complicated thing we don't usually care to think too much about until a certain switch in our brain flips and I'm over here like "wow I'm mostly Lin/Chunn" and like 95% of the times that happens is when we hit some level of burn out. It's not exactly dissociative really but something kind of like a large like... brain resource shift of some sort?

Aya is a whole different thing on her own since she never stops presenting as herself no matter how fused and whole our system is so who knows what the heck is going on over there, its another one of those things we never really question or care to think too much about cause it doesn't serve us much benefit to find out, we have no issue with it, and we honestly actually kind of like it.

Chunn and I however? Sometimes our whole fused identity becomes so predominantly held by the two of us. Its probably a relationship between masking, burn out, and just.... like our parts being the parts most experienced and associated with autistic overload / burnout / shutdown and so when we are out of autism spoons I think our brain goes "ah okay turn everything but these two off" or something like that.

Who knows honestly. Its just pretty interesting imo

[donnerpartyofone]

This week during my annual checkup, I will be asking my GP for a referral to a psychiatrist. In anticipation of this, I have been keeping a diary cataloging all the screwy, dysfunctional things I do during the course of a normal day. I'm afraid that if I simply go and tell a doctor what generally happens with me, they won't believe me. They'll tell me that I don't have any real problems, that all my alleged mistakes are the imaginary products of low self-esteem, like so many friends and family members and bad therapists have done. I need a record.

As I've been documenting my days and seeing the patterns in my dysfunction, more historical issues are beginning to surface. It's fascinating, it's like an archeological dig. I cleared a plot for a new building, and I've found all these esoteric items under the surface. How many times have I tried to learn something new, with great diligence and care, and somehow adopted the exact opposite practice of what I was taught, without even realizing it until it was too late?

When I decided to sign up for a karate class, I went to a demo and studied it intensely. I practiced what I had observed in the basement during the week before my first class, determined not to be embarrassed by what a slow (especially physical) learner I am. Then when I got to my first class, I realized that I had been doing the exact opposite of what the students in the demo were told to do with their feet.

When I was forced to take an after-school tap dance class, I could barely get through it because for some reason I picked up the exact opposite of the basic toe-heel pattern we were taught. I wasn't able to correct my perception at any time during the whole battery of rehearsals we had for our dumb little first performance; I only realized later, when I was randomly prompted to reflect on what we were shown (and which was repeated like a chant throughout every session). At least I didn't have to keep learning tap.

When I got my first barista job, I was very concerned about screwing up and listened intently to all of the training, trying to burn it into my brain. Weeks later, my boss gently pointed out that I had been very consistently putting the lid on the cup the exact opposite way he told me to do it, with the mouth hole incorrectly lined up with the cup seam.

When I met my future best friend in college--someone who immediately impressed me, and who I wanted to like me--I somehow convinced myself that her unusual last name was pronounced the exact opposite way from what she had told me. Embarrassingly, I went around valiantly correcting people like I was doing her a big favor, until she reminded me of what she had actually said.

Each time I think of an example of this, another one appears. How does this happen? On no occasion did I just blithely tune out, assuming I'd figure things out by myself and everything would be fine. On no occasion did I interrupt or ignore someone, assuming that what they were telling me didn't really matter. I'm not embarrassed to ask questions or to make someone repeat themselves. I have always been a studious person and a tragic people-pleaser. I want to do a good job. I believe in making an effort. I care. I was listening hard.

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Pokémon Reborn Screenshot Let's Play: Chapter 37

Hello again, readers! I’ve been having many thoughts about many pieces of media, including Pokémon- not Reborn specifically, other stuff. Specifically, I’ve been on a bit of a Fakemon kick as of late, but that’s a conversation for an entirely different day. On the bright side, all the Pokémon thoughts in my brain have made me all the more motivated to play more Reborn, so I’m raring to go for this chapter!

But before we get into that, I think it’s important to go over what happened last time, because there were some fascinating developments in the story. To whit:

Xera, Cain, and the kids find an old train stationed deep in the Railnet. With Noel’s knowledge, Xera is able to use the rail switches to arrange the tracks in a way to allow the train to successfully break through the rubble blocking the way to Chrysolia, with Charlotte acting as the conductor. At the same time, Anna mentions feeling cold and/or sore ever since her Amethyst Pendant was stolen, but insists nothing is wrong.

The tracks come to a sudden stop, and so does the train. The group exits into the Chrysolia region for the first time; immediately upon doing so, Heather sends out her Salamence and flies away, still without a word to anyone. Cain decides to go look for her while Charlotte leads the others to her family’s home. 

Xera, Charlotte, and the rest of the group travel through Tanzan Mountain, where Charlotte notices some unfamiliar metal structures inside. Additionally, the group feels several small earthquakes as they travel, the source of which is unknown.

At Tanzan Cove, the group finds the Belrose Manse. Inside, they meet one of Charlotte’s older sisters, Laura, who recently left the Orphanage upon turning 18 years old. Charlotte explains the situation with the breakout and being on the run, and Laura agrees to allow the group to stay for as long as they need.

Anna is taken upstairs to rest, her condition steadily worsening; as soon as she is given a bed, she falls into a deep sleep and develops a fever. The house does not have medicine, but Laura explains the PokéMart in the nearby Spinel Town sells a natural cure-all called Herbal Extract. At Charlotte’s prompting, Xera is told to go there and obtain this medicine.

Xera travels through Chrysolia Forest on her way to Spinel Town, where trees and other items are inexplicably teleported away, not to mention the tremors are still present.

When she arrives at Spinel Town, Xera finds these strange happenings are not isolated to the forest- objects around the town are also being randomly teleported, and the earthquakes are as prominent as ever.

Wow, that recap was shorter than I was expecting- maybe I'm finally getting better at being concise about this sorta thing.

So yeah! Even though we’re technically not in the Reborn region anymore, places like Spinel Town are still in shambles and nothing can be as simple as a trip to CVS! I still think Team Meteor’s behind the teleporting and/or the earthquakes, simply because…it’s always Team Meteor (except for that one time, the Wasteland). But in truth, there’s no hint as of now to what the actual cause could be, not to mention I can’t figure out what Team Meteor’s motive for targeting Spinel Town would be anyways, sooooo- take my paranoia with a grain of salt.

But with luck, we’ll find out more information about any of that- the teleporting, the quakes, the Herbal Extract- as we explore Spinel Town more. It doesn’t look like a huge place, so I don’t think it’ll take me too long to look around, but as for what could happen as we go about our business…that remains to be seen.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

[amphiptere-art]

All right. I'm ranting. By 100% agree with @synthcoyote on the whole ADHD moon thing.

Have ADHD. I also have autism. Now of course everyone has different kinds of ADHD and autism and it's different how much it affects people. But for me at least, ADHD Moon is stupid.

Sure with Monty it's really exaggerated ADHD. But you know it makes sense. Monty isn't impulsive he just gets sidetracked really easily. His friends are trying to talk to him about one thing he'll start talking about it then he'll get distracted by something and the friend has to redirect.

That's how ADHD works. It's not the fact that you are impulsive. It's the fact that you get distracted. Which actually comes out as being very forgetful.

You could be going up to the fridge to get some milk for some cereal. Then all the sudden your brain is wondering about cleaning out the fridge. Then your brain wanders off about some old leftovers you left in there. You then grab those leftovers to clean up the fridge. And it's not until you sit back down at the table that you realize you already had cereal in the bowl!

Moon does not act like this. They keep pressing that moons random acts are because of ADHD. But a person with ADHD can almost always tell you the line of thought that happened to make them do such a thing! With Moon it's usually "because I wanted to" or "I don't know".

Monty does actions with purpose. Sure there's a good chance he'll get distracted and start working on another project. But it's not like he started it without meaning!

Moon makes stuff, because he wants, to make a stuff. It's borderline impulsiveness. Moon fits so much better with the spectrum of autism.

Now my autism affects me less than my ADHD. So I can't count into everything that happens. But my brother has some supreme autism. And what moon does, lines up. Far better!

For some reason the Sun and Moon show has decided that ADHD is a catch all term for doing things randomly. That is not how ADHD works and it's irritating.

ADHD is when your line of thought gets interrupted by other random thoughts. You aren't just doing things because you can. You're doing things cuz in the moment it feels like you got to do it and usually it's connected to a reason. No matter how dumb or simple it is.

Moon does not have reasons for his actions. He has reasons for the satellites and reasons for other projects. But he doesn't have a reason to build a nanite vehicle. And he definitely didn't have random thought process for any of the stuff he did before!

I will admit new moon does carry some ADHD like qualities. He links together a lot of strange thoughts. But previous moon was not like this. He was never like this.

With Monty I could forgive the ADHD claim. It was exaggerated but it made sense. This is just a random claim that they're trying to force into our brains now. Just say that moon has autism!

It matches up much better and you don't even have to be particular with it! Autism is such a wide spectrum. ADHD is a much smaller spectrum with more specifics. You can label autism on something and it will make sense to at least somebody in the world. Not ADHD. I think technically ADHD is a part of the autism spectrum.

I don't know. I don't think this claim is going to change anytime soon especially since it's been mentioned in around 3 episodes. But I really wish they would redefine this. I will forgive new moon for this accusation, But for anything considering old moon it should not be brought up!

Old moon in every way had no ADHD. And I desperately wish they would stop trying to link old moon with new moons actions. They are not the same, and they do not need to be the same. Moon was reset. We do not need some useless reason to compare the new moon and the old moon. They were redoing his character for a reason! So they need to stop bringing it up!

Okay I think this rant is done. Again I blame @synthcoyote for bringing this fury to the forefront.

[silvasfunctionalmind]

There's something really disappointing and sad about when your literal, physical brain is so fucked up it actively poisons you.

Because, what, nobody is bowing at your feet, apologizing on the behalf of every single allistic person on this planet for personally promoting applied behavioral analysis/autistic conversion therapy? Because they won't personally raze [redacted] to the ground for you?

Anyways, NONE of those things should be happening, and we are not entitled to such, but please understand that, yeah, the situation we described is literally some of us who were here from 2007 or 2008 onwards, we are actively being poisoned seeing other people be randomly kind to others. We can't trust that they mean it.

It just so happens that when it gets extremely bad we get more bitchy, more isolationist, and much more prone to snapping on a hair trigger. I'm looking at the past few weeks (not literally, you get the idea I hope), and I'm pretty sure that's been the case leading up to April 2.

For people not aware of it: April 2 is autism "awareness" day, the day everyone decides to fundraise a literal hate group. Seeing this happen over and over again and feeling like there has been nobody ever listening to us until, bah, literally last year, has made it so our readings on peoples' situations are a lot less kind than they used to be and it's extended way past autism advocacy at this point.

I've literally seen specific headmates who shake because of the physical pain of seeing random acts of kindness and not feeling they ever had that in return. I've seen folks who distress themselves to the point they start talking in loops, as in, it's coherent and has a logical structure so it isn't a word salad, but they literally loop the same topic [A] over three times within another topic [B] and not realize it, topic [A] is just that stressful. I've seen people in here go into social media spirals because nobody wants to talk about the consequences of pretending being sex-repulsed is a either purity culture thing or a trauma thing (it's neither! inherently speaking, it is NIL) and then it goes back to that point of nobody ever listening to us.

This is a very roundabout way of apologizing for anything we've done the past few weeks. We've just felt...awful lately, as in, super fucking disgusting and gross in general.