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astaroth1357 · 4 years ago

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Brothers Accidentally Make the MC Cry

Hello, this is the obligatory italics blurb that I have to put under my titles or else things look weird and it bothers me. Don’t mind the blurb. The blurb is a friend. (Though I could start writing pieces of a little story up here just to see if anyone even reads them… Hm…. Ideas, ideas...)

Warning: Angsty

Lucifer

If he were being honest, he’d say that a part of him had always feared this would happen...

Lucifer likes to tell himself that he’s invincible, but everyday stresses can get to him just like anybody else. And like other people, he may not always act his best when he’s dealing with a full plate…

The MC hadn’t meant to make his day harder when they told him that they accidentally broke a lamp. It was a genuine accident! But Lucifer was still dealing with the fallout from another one of Mammon’s failed schemes, Satan had cursed all of his ties again, and Beel had eaten every scrap of food in the House… for the second time that week...

In comparison to everything else, a broken lamp was quite minor, but for Lucifer it was just the last straw and, for just a moment, he lost control…

His palm slamming against his desk hard enough to snap its legs and send it crashing to the ground. He scarcely knew what kind of look he had on his face, but whatever it was, he had made his human jump back in shock...

Really, it was silly for them to assume that he had gotten that upset over a lamp, but he saw tears starting to gather in their eyes all the same as they stammered out a quiet apology…

It felt like an ice spike to the heart. Damn his temper… He really ought to have been more careful with them after… well, everything he’d done before…

He was quick to go over to them, catching their face with his hand and giving them the most sincere apology he could muster while wiping away their tears… Overreactions aren’t becoming of him and he hated to cause them pain…

He, of course, took care of the lamp himself as penance and on the surface that seemed to be it (but to anyone paying attention, he had softened up on the MC considerably for at least a week. They probably could have sworn in front of Diavolo and he’d let it slide, he felt that bad about it...)

“I’m sorry, MC, I shouldn't have reacted like that… You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise… Please, there’s no need to cry…”

Mammon

Oh? What's that? His heart is now in a million pieces now...? Well, that seems fair…

He and the MC were out on one of his gambling nights and he was actually on a killer winning streak for once! Jackpots around every corner, he was rolling in it!

The MC had tried to convince him to just throw in the towel early, take his winnings while he had them and bail, but he wasn’t hearing any of it.

In hindsight, their insistence must have really shown how much the MC cared about him and wanted him to keep his earnings... but in the heat of the moment all he saw was someone trying to spoil his one night of fun.

To be fair to Mammon, it’s rather rare for him to lose control of his anger like he did. But when they tried to pull him away from the roulette table, he genuinely snarled at them and told them to get lost...!

Fortunately, he regretted his actions immediately after he saw the hurt in their eyes…

If their goal had been to get him to step away from the table, they achieved it. But only because he got up to pull them into a hug while stammering out apologies… Watching them actually shed tears hurt worse than any rope Lucifer had ever tied around him...

He spent the rest of the night away from the casino and trying to cheer up his human like his life depended on it... Seeing them in pain just tore him up that much.

"Ah, come on MC… I'm sorry, honest…! Please don't look at me like that, I'll do whatever ya want okay...? Just no more cryin…"

Leviathan

Now thinks he's the worst, literally the worst. Lower than lesser demon spit. Lower than Cerberus' shit. Lower than… well, you get the idea…

Levi can get very… intense when things involving his passions are brought up. This can be a fairly endearing quality… but it also means he gets disproportionately impassioned about seemingly minor things.

Levi ended up snapping at the MC when they let him over-sleep one day. This wasn’t unusual for them to do as Levi’s sleep schedule was notoriously shitty, but they shouldn't have done it that particular day…

An item he wanted on Akuzon was going to go live that morning and he had to be awake to participate in the bidding. He had mentioned it to the MC the day before, but he blew past it so quickly they didn’t actually remember…

He found out that he missed the bidding after he woke up and he was pissed. Genuinely enraged that they didn’t remember to wake him up to the point that he was shouting and baring his fangs!

… Really it was not a good look and he should have known better.

The look of fear and the tears gathering in the MC’s eyes snapped him out of it like a hard slap to the face, and somehow, it stung even more than that would’ve... It wasn’t long before he was crying along with them, practically begging for forgiveness...

He made it up to them by having a private showing of their favorite movie using a projector in the Planetarium, cuddling with them under a blanket while still, occasionally, muttering apologies under his breath.

“M-MC…? MC don’t cry…!! Please don’t cry, I- I’m sorry!! I… MC… I’m so sorry…”

Satan

Like Lucifer, he always worried this would happen and he hated when it finally came to pass…

He’d spent all his life learning how to restrain his temper, but it’s not a perfect science. There are the occasional times where the heat of the moment gets the better of him and he does something he regrets…

The MC had walked in on him one morning while he was fuming about Beel leaving the fridge empty again. It hadn’t been the first time they’d seen him like this, but this time he was absolutely furious.

He had told Beel again and again and again to get his snacking under control or to, you know, get up early and get more food so the whole family wouldn’t spend the morning starving but noooo! Mr. I’m Hungry never thinks about anything but his own stomach and then leaves whoever’s on kitchen duty to pick up the slack like some dimwitted muscle-bound meathead and THEN-!!

When the MC tried to take his arm to calm him down, he jerked their hand away from him and roared right in their face. He may not be a lion, but the full sound of a pissed off demon could make humans have breakdowns all on its own…

Which was more or less what the MC began to do as he gripped their wrist, panicking while taking shallow, stuttered breaths…

Satan's anger left him swiftly and he let them go, only reaching out to touch them again when he tried to wipe the tears from their cheeks… He had to coo and beg for them to calm down, which was only so successful because he was fighting back tears himself…

On a scale of 1-10 of the worse things his temper has ever done, he'd rank this a firm 200... He refused to touch them for about a week afterwards and it took a long time for him to trust himself again… He just didn't want to hurt them...

"MC?? MC…? M… Oh no… MC, I'm so sorry, I would never hurt you! I… I wouldn't dare… please believe me..."

Asmodeus

Oh baby! Sweetheart! Love of his life!! No, please no… don't subject him to this…

MC and Asmo were out dancing and some witch came by to try and flatter him.

Now, Asmo is a flirt normally, but get a few drinks in him and well… Let's just say his love of attention overrides his better judgment far more often than it should and friends don't let friends go home with creepy witches.

When the MC told the witch to scram, Asmo was confused and, frankly, quite irritated. That lovely lady had been stroking his ego in all the right ways and his human just scared her off so rudely!

Under most situations, Asmo would have kept his cool better but the haze of Demonus made his tongue loose... which let the venom fly…

He couldn’t quite remember what he said. The words left his mouth so quickly that they slurred together on his clumsy tongue, but it must have been enough because the MC flinched away from him.

That hurt all on its own, but as he started to process the pain in their eyes… he had never sobered up so fast...

He had their cheeks cupped in his hands and were kissing away their tears within the instant. Though the loud music at the club should have drowned out his apologies, the MC could see it written all over his equally tearful face…

He pulled them into his arms and then out of the club shortly after, the fog of Demonus that plagued him just moments before had long left him and all he knew was that the MC needed to be brought home and cuddled… stat.

“M-MC…? I’m sorry was it something… did I…? I’m so sorry… Please don’t cry…!”

Beelzebub

He really didn't mean to shout so loud… honest...

Beel becomes a completely different person when he’s hungry. He’s not entirely to blame, as his hunger can get so intense, but he still can snap from time to time when he really doesn’t mean to…

It was right after one of his practices and Beel hadn’t gotten a chance to eat in a few hours by the time the MC came to grab him from RAD. That already had him in a bad mood, but practice hadn’t gone too well for him either…

He honestly didn’t realize how sharply he snapped at the MC when they asked him how he was. The irritation and frustration of the day all hit him at once and he became much harsher towards them than he ever intended…

It must have been the shock of seeing ever-sweet Beel suddenly get so aggressive with them that startled them so. He saw a couple tears gathering in their eyes before they could hide them and his heart just sank…

The MC was picked up in a crushing bear hug before they even let out their first sniffle. Beel didn’t even have to say how sorry he was, they could feel it in every squeeze he gave them. All while he completely ignored the growling of his stomach...

Beel wouldn’t let them go until he was certain they’d forgiven him which, honestly, took a while. Mammon was the one to ask why he had carried them all the way back to the House like a baby but… well, he didn’t need to know, now did he?

“MC, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have shouted… Are you alright...?”

Belphegor

Stubborn boi is stubborn and trying really, really hard not to crack right now...

That's not going to last long.

Belphie can be a bit of a brat and since he's the baby of the family so he's used to getting his way. He and the MC don't argue a ton, but when they do, he always digs his heels in and refuses to budge an inch on anything.

So what started out as a simple disagreement on how often Belphie would flake out on his chores turned into a kick-the-door-down argument over how much his laziness left the MC to pick up the slack...

It ended as all their barn burning arguments do, with demon-form Belphie sitting cross-legged on his bed refusing to look at them and the MC angrily pacing about the room until he cools off…

And then he heard it.

First a sniffle… and then a hiccup. Another sniffle then muffled whine…

Oh no… not this… Why are they crying…? They don't normally cry…

To his credit (or perhaps discredit), he managed to hold out for about two minutes before he finally glanced back at them. Seeing the MC wiping their tears all alone on the floor crumbled his resolve real quick.

The MC found themselves enveloped by Belphie's arms before they even noticed he got up. Naturally, he was pouting and trying to make it seem like "not a big deal or anything" but they could tell by the nervous twitch of his tail that he was hurting too…

Needless to say. Belphie started remembering his chores a lot more after that.

"Humans are so fragile… I didn't mean to make you cry, you know? I'll get things done just… Don't cry… please…"

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me imagines

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moemoemammon · 4 years ago

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okkkkkkay so personally I’ve never picked the choices of ‘I wanna go home’ in game, so I guess I mustn’t be that curious right? lol but like I am curious to know how they react to MC being family oriented, being super close to her parents and siblings (i have two and I’m the middle one) and just constantly and out of nowhere being homesick

Homesick MC!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

As a family man himself, Lucifer can understand where you're coming from. After all, you were plucked out of your world without warning, and forced to stay in the Devildom for an entire year.

At first he didn't care much about your emotional struggle, so it wasn't until you two were close that he actually started paying attention. And it was pretty obvious too, with the way you always talked about your family.

He hopes now that you're closer to him and his brothers, they can make up for what you're missing out on. Still, he does his best to comfort you in that 'Lucifer' sort of way.

Did you really think he’d stand by and let you walk around looking so pitiful? There's a teeny tiny heart somewhere in cold chasm of a chest of his.

"It must be difficult for you to be away from your family. But I hope you can rest easy knowing that we all see you as a part of our family, MC. It may not be the same as being with your real family, but we care about you all the same."

Mammon

Yeah... Mammon gets it. Even though his brothers get on his damned nerves, he loves them to pieces! He needs his space, but he wouldn't wanna be away from home for an entire year.

Especially not if he had to live in a house full of people he didn't know. He can seriously sympathize!

He might not be a master when it comes to comforting you, but you know you can count on him, right? He'll drown you in so much attention, you won't even have time to think about your family back home!

But still... he's got a looming sense of dread. If you're that homesick, you'll surely want to stay home after this, right? Who's to say you'll ever come back to visit him..? Maybe he outta find a way to go with you or something...

"I know you wanna see your family n' all, but don't you go forgettin' about me! And make sure ya come to visit, or I'll go up to get ya myself! I'll miss ya, so...ya know.."

Levi

Sorry. Can't relate.

Just kidding. Levi might be a shut in that prefers his personal space, but it's not like he hates his family or anything! He likes their company in small doses.

But it doesn't look like you have that luxury, since you can't even get a crumb of family time. Would a video chat even work from the Devildom??

Well.... for what it's worth, you can always just come to his room whenever you're feeling lonely. You can't really go anywhere right now, but it should be easier if you just stick with him, right?

"Do you wanna play Sims? ...I-I'm not trying to replace your family or anything! I mean, we could make them if you want, or-... I just want to help take your mind off of things. A year should be a breeze if you don't think about it, right?"

Satan

He's been surrounded by family since the day he was born, so being away from them for an entire year would be... interesting.

Satan considers himself widely independent so he doesn't think he NEEDS his brothers, and there are days when he wishes they'd all just vanish, and sometimes he comes incredibly close to making that a reality-

But for a human like you, who thrives on social interaction (according to his nerd research) you probably don't feel the same way.

Especially with the way you've been sulking around, longingly talking about your family like it'd magically poof them into the Devildom. He might not be able to relate, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel bad for you.

"I've heard that retelling stories of your loved ones can help you cope with them not being around. I'd love to hear about them, if you don't mind telling me? Maybe I could write it all down for you to keep as well. Consider it a 'thank you' for putting up with all of us for a year."

Asmo

Aren't you happy that you have time alone? Asmo couldn't imagine ALWAYS being around his brothers. Maybe Satan and sometimes Beel? But he's fine in solitude!

He prefers the company of strangers roe often than not, but that doesn't mean he hates family or anything. Still, a year away isn't THAT long, is it? Maybe for a human??

But if you're really so torn up about it, you can always come to him for some TLC! Asmo's arms are open wide for you any time of the day. And if that won't do it, he'll gladly hear you out.

If there's anyone who'll listen to your woes, it's the Avatar of Lust. He's good for gossip, and the king of self care. Your mental health is just as important to him as anything else!

"I'm more than happy to give you all the love you need! How about this, I'll spoil you until you aren't lonely anymore, okay? Why don't we have a movie night, just the two of us?"

Beel

Beel understands how you can be lonely. It must've been pretty scary, suddenly showing up in the Devildom like that. At first he didn't care about your struggle, but now...

And he remembers how he felt when Belphie was gone. It's sort of the other way around for you, but he can still relate to your sadness.

He hopes you don't mind food therapy, because Beel's compiled a list of your favorite foods, and he's determined to cheer you up by making your favorite meals everyday.

And then he asks you for your favorite meals from home, and enlists the help of his brothers to bring that taste of home to your dinner plate.

"You can always stay with me and Belphie when you get lonely. I don't know if we'll be anything like your family back at home, but... We can still keep you company, too."

Belphie

Belphie may act like a brat that doesn't like to be bothered by his brothers, but if there's anyone that needs to spend time with them, it's him.

Yeah, after the whole attic thing, he's been especially close to his family. And we all know how he gets with Beel, so being completely isolated in a strange place for an entire year wouldn't do him any good.

And he might be a bastard toward you, but he's not heartless. He doesn't like seeing you mope around all the time. Nosy MC that sticks their nose into everything is his favorite, so cheer up already.

Nap therapy doesn't seem that effective since you tend to dream about your family too, so he's gotta try a different approach. He has to use his... *gag* his heart... 🤢

"What would your family think if they saw that face you were making? When you really miss them, you know you can come to me, right? Why don't you tell me about them? I'll try not to fall asleep."

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westiec · 4 years ago

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June 9: Ace Rights Wangxian!

A/N: I've thought about this conversation between them since I finished the novel. While I would broadly classify WWX here as "sex-favorable asexual" and LWJ here as "grey-ace/demisexual (Wei Ying specific)," each person's experience is unique and neither of these are mine. I beg your forgiveness if anything I've had them say rings false. This fic is largely a discussion is about their sex life, but nothing more physical than kissing is shown in this story.

Read on ao3

🖤🤍💜

Wei Ying likes everything Lan Wangji does. Lan Wangji knows this to be true, because Wei Ying tells him, in exactly those words, every time Lan Wangji draws his husband close and asks what he would like.

But.

Perhaps there should be no "but"—Wei Ying is vocal, even loud, in his enthusiasm for all the ways Lan Wangji touches him, all the ways he takes him apart and feasts on the sight and sounds and sensation of his body.

But when Lan Wangji asks his fantasies, hoping to fulfill Wei Ying’s desires as fully as Wei Ying has fulfilled his, they are games, stories, often moments from their own past or clichés from romantic tales or erotic literature, and if playacting is the shape of Wei Ying’s desire, then Lan Wangji will do his best, but.

The jingshi glows warm tonight, and the day has been a good one, and when Lan Wangji draws Wei Ying into his lap and asks, "What would you like from me?" and Wei Ying replies, as he always does, "I like everything Lan Zhan does," Lan Wangji pauses.

"Wei Ying," he asks, "is there nothing in particular you desire from this husband?"

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying is confused. Lan Wangji considers the shape of what he has been wondering and arranges the words.

"You know there are many rules about restraining desire and excessive indulgence in physical pleasure," he begins.

Wei Ying grins. "Ooh, is this a new game? Have we broken rules, Lan Zhan?"

"Hush," Lan Wangji says, softening it with a kiss. "Listen." Wei Ying settles into Lan Wangji's arms, his thoughtful face on.

"In my youth, I did not understand these rules, why the other disciples joked about them. To me, they seemed simple, easily followed.

"Then, Wei Ying."

Wei Ying’s cheeks flush, and Lan Wangji has to restrain himself from taking that beautifully reddened skin between his teeth.

"I felt urges so intense they frightened me, reactions in my body I had no context for." He feels the corner of his mouth twitch. "I thought the problem could be solved if only you would learn to observe the rules."

Wei Ying laughs. "And yet I remain a problem, eh Lan Zhan?" he says, eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Never," Lan Wangji disagrees. "It was only ever that I had not yet learned how to hold wanting you inside my skin."

"Lan Zhan, you can't say things like that," Wei Ying protests. "It makes it sound like you wanted to ravish me all the time."

"I did want to ravish you all the time," Lan Wangji replies easily. "I do still. I'd never felt anything like that before, nor for anyone else, since. When I look at you, when I think about you, sometimes when I'm doing something else entirely, the wanting is there, dozens of different ways I desire to have you. Just now, I wanted to bite your cheek." Wei Ying shudders against him, breathing coming faster as Lan Wangji speaks. "What I wonder," he asks gently, "is whether that is how it feels for you."

Wei Ying's brows draw together. "Lan Zhan, you know I love you. You must know I love what we do together, all the ways you love me."

Lan Wangji kisses the wrinkle away. "I do know. I only ask to see if there is something you want that I haven't offered, or..." this is the delicate part "...or anything you don't don't want that you accept only because I want it from you."

"That doesn't make any sense," Wei Ying argues. "Everything I like, I like it because you want it from—oh..."

He pauses, and Lan Wangji can see the ideas rearranging behind his eyes. He is so grateful for the ways Wei Ying understands him and for the second chance he has been gifted, to be able to understand Wei Ying in return.

"Oh, so... for you, the wanting is separate from the—" he waves his hands, blushing again "—the loving me of it all?"

Lan Wangji tilts his head side to side. "Not separate," he says, "but distinct. Like a hunger that remains, whether a meal is spread out before me or I'm practicing inedia, only for Wei Ying."

"Lan-er-gege!" Wei Ying squeezes him tight and buries his face in Lan Wangji's chest. "The things you say..."

Lan Wangji holds him. Sits with the ever-present simmer under his skin and waits.

"I like that you want me," Wei Ying admits, in his smallest, most honest voice. "I don't know that I feel that hunger the way you describe, but it feels good that I'm what you want, just as I am."

He wipes his face against Lan Wangji's chest, and Lan Wangji's heart clenches at the wetness that clings to his eyelashes when he looks up. "Is that okay?" Wei Ying asks. "I'm sorry if I'm not—"

Lan Wangji cuts him off with a kiss, and Wei Ying melts into it, like always.

"No sorry between us," he insists. "Just as you are, as you said. If you wanted nothing more from me than someone to buy you Emperor's Smile, that is what I would give you, and gladly."

"Well I certainly won't turn that down," Wei Ying chuckles, "but I've grown rather spoiled by the rest of it too. I think we'll keep things as they are, Lan Zhan, everyday and all."

"If it's ever too much, if I'm ever—" he needs Wei Ying to understand, needs him to know that he's not beholden to what he said once or what he says now.

"I'll tell you," Wei Ying promises. "I don't think you could be too much for me, Lan Zhan, if I'm honest, but I'll tell you."

Lan Wangji nods and lets his body show the gratitude he feels for the promise, for Wei Ying’s understanding, for everything about the man in his arms. Wei Ying meets him, warm and welcoming as ever, opening to receive all the love and desire Lan Wangji has to give. Their lips and bodies move in tandem, a dance they've both learned all the steps to, until Wei Ying suddenly stops and pulls back.

"Wait!" he says, looking stunned, "Wait, so you mean to tell me all that poetry about desire and yearning and aching for the touch of your beloved is literal? People are really walking around out there feeling a physical need to, to kiss on somebody? Isn't that distracting??"

Lan Wangji can't help but smile. "Highly."

"And some people feel like that for more than one person? Maybe even for anybody attractive they see?"

"I believe it differs in focus and intensity," Lan Wangji says, "but as I understand it, yes."

"Holy shit," says Wei Ying, looking a little gobsmacked by the very idea. "All this time, I assumed that was metaphor."

Lan Wangji loves him so, so much.

"Well. WELL!" Wei Ying says, as he pins him with a serious look. "Anytime you're feeling too distracted by all that yearning, you just come and find me, husband. It won't do to have Hanguang-jun incapacitated by his amorous desires."

Lan Wangji chuckles. "If my husband insists."

"He does! This Wei Ying will accept as many kisses and everydays as his poor, horny husband requires." His grin is wide and beautiful and so fond, and, as ever, Lan Wangji wants to kiss it right off his face.

So he does.

🖤🤍💜

#PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost here!

#PrideMonthSnippets #westie writes #mdzs #wangxian #asexual positivity #demisexual positivity #wei wuxian #lan wangji #asexual wei wuxian #demisexual lan wangji #mo dao zu shi

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theright-sideofme · 4 years ago

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Mate. C. San. [Part 1]

Werewolf!San x fem!reader WC: 3.7k Warnings: arranged marriage, mentions of past verbal abuse.let me know if i missed anything

series masterlist | main masterlist Next Part

As a child you were told stories about what lurked in the woods and why you were never to go in them alone. After all, “a young girl like you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself.” Those belittling words made you sick. You were very much capable of protecting yourself, you were just never allowed to. Your father made sure you stayed at home with your mother, learning how to become a “good wife” so he could wed you off as soon as possible. The old man was absolutely insufferable. Always commenting on how you were going to die alone if you kept up your stubborn antics, which only made you act up more. You didn’t want to be just someone's wife, you wanted to be your own person, with opinions that mattered and a voice that was heard, but that’s just not the life you were born into.

You remember the first time your father told you about the woods, it was around the same time you were beginning to realize your parents were utterly shit people. “Father, why can’t I go play in the woods?” “Those woods aren’t meant for little girls Y/n, it’s filled with all sorts of horrible monsters,” and that should’ve been enough to scare you, but it only intrigued you more. What type of monsters? What did they look like? Would they want to play with you? You were ready to bombard your father with all those questions, but the loud, whining howl cutting through the crisp morning air cut you off and had your father scrambling to get you inside. Ever since then you had felt drawn to the woods, a longing you felt in every fiber of you being. It was almost as if you were longing for a home you had never been to.

You sat outside, letting the sun warm skin as you leaned against the old oak tree in the garden, you felt at peace. This week had been hectic, lots of running around doing errands, getting ready for the arrival of a very well respected family. You were probably the least excited for their arrival, which was ironic seeing as you were probably going to be leaving with them. Their son had taken an interest in you at the king's annual Winter Ball and insisted that you be his wife. Even after turning him down on the spot, he was persistent. Eventually his father contacted yours and now they were on their way for a week of business talk regarding the arrangement of your soon to be engagement. You were sick, absolutely revolted at the thought of marrying this spoiled brat of a man who simply couldn’t take no for an answer.

Looking over to the woods, you sighed, wishing you could just run and just never stop. Run until you're so deep in the woods no one would ever be able to find you. What was really stopping you other than your father? Your own fears? No, it wasn’t that, you had more to fear at home than in the woods. The longer you thought about it, the more you realized nothing was holding you back other than the belief you couldn’t. Your entire life you were told you not to so you just believed you couldn’t, but in actuality there was nothing stoping you from standing up and walking right into the woods.

“Y/n!”--

-- Except your mothers shrieking scream of your names.

“Y/n where the hell are you! They’re going to be here any moment!” And your peace was broken. All thoughts of running off into the woods being pushed aside, deemed a silly escape fantasy as you stood up to go put your mothers worrying to rest.

“Where were you” Hongjoong asked, even though he already knew the answer. San had a bad habit of getting too close to town, almost being caught more times than the pack could count. But there was one manor in particular San loved visiting, the Y/l/n manor. A huge, beautiful house surrounded by acres of land that belonged to the most well respected family in the country. Hongjoong believed San had a death wish to be getting so close to a house that belonged to a family of that status. San’s excuse was he liked the thrill, which was partly true, but not the reason he visits said house almost everyday.

“Out” San shrugged his alpha off, walking right past him and into the kitchen. Hongjoong didn’t leave it at that, not this time. He was worried about San and what would happen to not only him but the rest of the pack if he got caught.

“You can’t keep going out there,” San scoffed, not even sparing Hongjoong a glance as he got himself some water. “I’m serious, you’re putting all of our lives in danger by going out there so often” “I know what I’m doing” “do you? Then enlighten me because I have no fucking clue why you would actively put your life at risk just to get a peak at that stupid house!” Hongjoong’s voiced boomed through the entire house, which caught the attention of the rest of their packmates who quickly came to the kitchen to see what was going on.

“You wouldn’t understand” San mumbled, feeling a bit more humbled after Hongjoong had used his alpha voice. Hongjoong very rarely used his alpha voice and when he did, it was terrifying. Everyone in the house could feel the fear in their bones when he did, along with an overwhelming urge to back off and obey their alpha. San was no different, feeling the immediate need to tuck tail and run after pissing Hongjoong off so much.

Hongjoong hated using his alpha voice. He never wanted any of his packmates to feel like he was ever unfairly using his alpha status against them, but he just couldn’t help it when it came to matters that involved the whole pack's safety. At first he was fine with letting San look around, sneak peaks at the town and the manor. He thought if he let him get all his curiosity out he would be fine and he wouldn’t need to go back again, but he was wrong. After his first time visiting the manor he immediately went back the next day, and the day after that and almost every day for the past three months, and Hongjoong was more than worried for what it meant for the pack if he was caught.

“Try me” the alpha offered, so angry but also so desperate to understand San’s apparent need to go back to the manor so often. He wanted to help out the younger boy while also keeping him safe. San averted his eyes to the ground as he took in a shaky breath. “I saw my mate.” His voice was so quiet anyone with normal hearing would’ve missed it, but in the house full of werewolves, everyone heard it.

Absolute chaos broke out among the pack, everyone shouting questions at San about how he knew and what it was like. Words jumbled up together as everyone fought to get their question answered and to understand what having a mate was like. They all knew they had mates, every werewolf did, but San was the first in the pack to actually meet- well, see, his. Hongjoong stood with an indecipherable look on his face that made San uneasy.

“I-I know it’s dangerous for me to keep going there so often. I’ll start going less! I just- I need to see her, it’s the best thing I have since I can’t be with her.” San felt his heart break at his own words. He’d never admitted that to himself out loud and hearing those words leave his lips made him want to crawl into a hole and die, but it was the truth. San knew there was no way he was going to be able to be with you, you were the daughter of a highly respected lord, and from what he heard from the servants today, you were soon to be engaged. It was a cruel joke fate had decided to play on him.

“What do you mean you can’t be with her'' Mingi asked from behind Hongjoong, him and the rest of the pack slowly making their way fully into the kitchen. “She’s lady Y/l’n, daughter of the highly respected Lord Y/l/n” San’s words left his lips with a certain type of sadness that made the rest of his pack members feel for him. They couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must be like to find your mate and know you can’t be with them.

“San-” “please, no pity. I’ll be good, I promise” and despite his airy tone, the look in his eyes gave away how much he was really hurt. “Just, be careful when you go” was all Hongjoong said, not wanting to press him anymore.

It was another day of trying desperately to avoid every living soul who currently resided inside your families manor. You felt overwhelmed these past couple of days with everyone talking so warmly about the now settled engagement. Your father was more than happy to wed you off and your intolerable fiance just wouldn’t leave you alone. You could never find a moment alone, and moment to breath. But now, alone in your garden under your oak tree, you were calm. There was no one trying to remind you to keep up your perfect little image, no fiance rambling on about how excited he was to get you into bed on your wedding night, no father reminding you how lucky you were someone actually wanted to deal with you for once, it was just you and your tree.

Not too far away from you in the woods, unbeknownst to you, stood San. He kept an attentive eye on you, admiring you effortless beauty with total awe. There was a pang in his chest as he remembered his words from a few days prior, “- since I can’t be with her.” God it hurt. All he wanted was to hold you in his arms and protect you from everything evil and bad in this world. He wanted to shower you with affection and feel pride in his chest just from knowing you were all his, but you weren’t.

Almost as if you could feel his longing gaze on you, you looked up into the woods, head cocked to the side in thought. San was ready to duck down and hide, but then your eyes locked with his, and he was frozen, both of you were. You knew you should’ve been scared, you should’ve ran inside screaming for your guards, but you didn’t, you simply stared. You didn’t feel off put or uneasy by his presence, you almost felt comforted, as weird as it sounds.

San on the other hand was a total wreck, his heart beating out of his chest, sweat building up on the bone of his brow. He had no idea what to do, if he should do anything at all. And despite how scared he was of getting caught and potentially putting his whole pack at risk, he was happy to be able to see your face clearly. The calling of your name snapped both of you out of your little trances, San quickly ducking down, and you turning to see who was calling you. “There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you” you fiance said as he quickly made his way over to you. “Your mother wanted me to come get you for dinner” you simply nodded, pushing yourself up off the ground, not expecting your fiance to pull you up by your waist. The sudden action had San growling from behind his tree, watching the man with absolute hatred in his eyes.

“What do you think you’re doing” you asked, quickly pushing his hands off of you. “I was helping you up” “I don’t need your help” “Stop being so stubborn, we’re going to be married soon, you’re going to need to get used to me touching you” “touching me?” “Yes, last time I checked sex involves-” A loud smack echoed through the garden. He stood there for several moments, shocked, trying to assess if that really just happened. “Our engagement gives you no right to touch or talk to me however you so please, do I make myself clear.” Your fiance looked back at you with a darkness you’ve only ever seen from your father. “I don’t know who you think you are, but I am the man in this relationship. You are the woman. My women, my bitch-”

Your fiancé was cut off by a large, sandy wolf jumping in between the two of you. Startled you jumped back, your back now firmly against the tree as you watch the wolf snap and snarl at your fiancé.

You were more shocked than anything, looking at where the sandy colored wolf came from, realizing it was the same place you had just seen that man standing not too long ago. You quickly turned your head back to the wolf and stared in awe. It was huge, much larger than any house dog you had seen before.

Your fiance was soon calling out for the guards which promptly broke you out of your awestruck state. “You have to go, now!” You yelled at the wolf, gently tugging on its fur, which in any other case would’ve gotten your hand bit off. The sound of boots pounding against the floor started getting louder and you were getting more anxious. Not having time to think about why you wanted to save this wolf so badly, you quickly made your way in front of it and started pushing it back. “Go, now!”

San looked up at you, his the red fading from his vision as he stared at your face. However, he didn’t get to look long as the sound of boots soon reached his ears as well. Sparing you one last glance, he turned around and sprinted back into the woods.

“What is it, what happened my lord?” One of the guards asked as soon as they had reached the two of you. “W-Wolf! There was a wolf right there! It nearly tore me to shreds!” Your fiance began to ramble on, the longer he went on, the more the guards looked unsure of his words. “My lady, did you see the wolf?” “Of course she did, it was-” “no, I never saw a wolf.” Your fiance looked at you in total disbelief, but you remained with the same stoic face. The guards simply told our fiance there was nothing they could do since the wolf wasn’t there and led the two of you inside.

The entire diner your thoughts were full of that strange man, who you were certain turned into that wolf. It had to be him, there was no other explanation as to how that wolf got there that fast. Why was he there? Why did he protect you? Why did he make you feel so safe? Those questions lingered in your brain the entire night.

San thought it would be best to stay away for a while after the incident. He didn’t want to risk getting caught in case they were on high alert. So he stayed home, pacing in his room, running circles around the house, roughhousing with his pack mates, pretty much anything to keep him mind off you. It was harder than he thought, especially after being the closest he’s ever been to you, he longed to be that close again.

“San, you need to slow down-” “I’m fine” he responded in a short yell right before turning into his wolf form to go for a run. Seonghwa let out an exasperated sigh as he watched San disappear off into the trees that surrounded their house. “Is he gonna be okay” Wooyoung asked from behind Seonghwa, both of their eyes trained on where the sandy wolf just disappeared. “He’ll be fine” Seonghwa tried to reassure, but it was obvious that even he didn’t know.

You, however, were handling things differently. You had left your family's manor. Year after year you longed to leave and disappear into the woods and all it took was a strange man who you felt oddly connected to for you to actually do it. Why were you so drawn to this man? You didn’t know, all you knew was you needed to find him.

You were running as fast as you could to get as far as possible from your family’s manor. They were going to come looking for you, you knew that much. So the more distance you could put in between you and them the better. As you were running you could barely feel the burning in your lungs or ache of your legs, but rather the wind against your skin and the overwhelming feeling of being free.

You were free.

You weren’t tied down to your wretched family who only cared about selling you like cattle or the rules all of the entailed. No, not anymore. It was like the chains had broken and your cell door was left wide open, and you were free.

San felt different. He was more anxious than he had been the past couple of days, but in a good way. He had no idea what had changed or why he was feeling this way. He didn’t care. All he knew was if he didn’t get out his pent up energy he was going to explode. So out the door he went, ignoring the calls of his packmates and disappearing into the trees.

He ran and ran, enjoying the rush of the wind flowing freely through his fur as he let this light hearted feeling wash over him. He was so caught up in the feeling of running, he hadn't noticed his body had gone in auto pilot, leading him astray from his normal path and deeper into the woods to a place he had never been- a clearing.

There was a crystal blue lake shining like a glittering star in the moonlight. Lily pads were scattered across the smooth surface and flowers bloomed beautifully all around the edges. San hadn’t noticed any of it though. As soon as he entered the clearing his eyes were drawn to a figure sitting on the edge of the lake. And as if you sensed his presence, you looked up and smiled.

“Well hello there.” San’s heart swelled at the sound of your voice and he could’ve sworn his eyes were the personification literal of heart eyes. Your smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, it was warm and inviting and everything he imagined home would feel like. One half of him wanted to scold you for being out here alone where you could get hurt, the other half wanted to run up to you and nuzzle into your side and let you run your fingers through his fur. He opted for the unspoken third option, slowly approaching you, watching you closely for any fear or discomfort, but he saw none. You looked oddly calm for someone who was now face to face with a giant werewolf.

“Why do I feel so connected to you?” You mused aloud with a cocked head as you scanned his face before staring into his eyes. The raw curiosity in your eyes was something of mirrored pure innocence.

San couldn’t answer, no matter how badly he wanted to. He was in his wolf form and he would rather not shift back in front of you. He figured this would be a conversation better with clothes on. So instead of answering, he nudged you till you were next to his back and then lowered himself to the ground, urging you to get on, and you did.

When you reached San’s house, you didn’t feel uncomfortable or out of place. You felt oddly calm, and it was starting to annoy you with how okay you were when it came to anything relating to this strange man. You should be running for the hills, calling the guards and wanting nothing to do with him. San lowered himself enough so you could get off his back and led you to the front door.

“San! I swear to- oh.” The man who was just yelling froze and just stared at you in shock, all of his prior thoughts gone. San noticed how you moved closer to him when Seonghwa had come out, your hands subconsciously reaching out for him and he felt like his heart could burst.

San simply looked up at the elder boy who seemed to understand what San wanted from him.“Um, hi. I’m Seonghwa. Let me get you something to drink while San gets changed.” You looked at San who simply nudged you forward. “That would be nice, thank you.”

You and Seonghwa sat in the kitchen just talking. You thought there would be some sort of awkward silence between the two of you, but in all honesty he was very easy to get along with. He asked you about your family and never pushed you to answer when you were feeling uncomfortable. He even made you a sweet honey rose tea that you fell in love with.

The two of you didn’t talk long though because San had rushed to shift back and get dressed so he could talk to you. San all but bursted into the kitchen, his lovestruck eyes landing on you in an instant. “I- wow, hi.” You couldn’t help but giggle at how cute he was. “Hi.”

Seonghwa sat there for a moment longer, watching as his younger friend looked at you with absolute adoration and how you met his gaze back with a sweet, caring smile. He thought the two of you looked like little lovesick puppies and you barely knew each other. Shaking his head with a smile, he made his way out of the kitchen to give you two some privacy, patting San on the back as he left.

“So, I’m a werewolf” “nice to meet you werewolf” “I- what no! I’m San! My name is San. Sorry, I’m kinda nervous.” You let out a soft laugh, the sound putting all San’s nerves at ease. You stood up so that you were now in front of him, holding your hand out for him to take. “Nice to meet you San, I’m Y/n.”

—

taglist: @itsyaapollochild

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ginanosakka · 4 years ago

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We Were Kids

Masterlist

We’re Older Now | Next

“You’re going to make her disappear again, Bakugou!” Mina said, frustration breaking through the tone of her voice as they patrolled the streets together once again.

Ever since Y/N had made her grand appearance back into their lives, Mina and Katsuki talked more than ever. Katsuki needed help taking care of Ryu since this was obviously brand new to him so he’d ask Mina for help on how to handle him, and Mina wanted to be kept updated to make sure he didn’t screw anything up. They were both so unsure on how to help you, especially when you were so closed off about your side of the story. Being around eachother wasn’t as bad as either of them thought though, and they could thank you for making them find that out.

It was talk to Mina about Y/N or Kirishima and something about that didn’t sit right with him.

“She’s not that stupid,” Katsuki grunted in his defense. “I was trying to be fucking nice to her, she knows that.”

That was only kind of a lie, he was trying to be kinder, softer for her. That immense guilt that weighed down his chest everyday since you came back into his life only got heavier the more he chipped away at the walls you put up, because he was beginning to realize that he should have never been your hero. Every memory he had where he thought you were acting spoiled and trying to buy him like your father was, he was able to reevaluate it and see that you were genuinely naive and trying to love him. How the hell could he blame you for being spoiled when that’s how you were raised?

He did almost exactly what he did to Deku to you: project his insecurities.

“What did she say? Did she yell at you?” Mina pressed the topic.

The smile completely washed off your face, replaced with that cold expression he had been given before. Katsuki knew now that it wasn’t who you were — you weren’t cold hearted and ruthless like your father, but you were smart enough to pick up on his mannerisms and use them — but it didn’t fail to bring him back to the bigger picture.

The relationship between you two was severed, he was a thick branch on the root of your trauma, and you were strong enough to pretend it was okay, but you refused to forget.

“Yours? Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dynamight. I can build an empire from ashes, and I can easily turn this life you love so much into a personal hell. I don’t belong to anyone, and I owe nothing to anyone. You on the other hand, owe me your respect and your loyalty if you want to be in your son’s life. If anything you are mine, and from what I’ve been told, that’s not something to be proud of.”

He felt that sharp pain hit his chest again and his lungs tighten, “don’t worry about it.”

Mina rolled her eyes and threw her hands up as they walked. “Did you tell her about the press conference today? She hasn’t even considered staying at your place yet.” Katsuki stopped in his tracks as her sentence finished, his whole body frozen in step and Mina face-palmed.

“She’s totally going to kill you.”

The noise from the television playing Ryu’s favorite channel broadcasting hero events was barely audible over the sounds of him stomping and imitating noises of guns and his explosions going off. You expected that your wooden coffee table would once again have his footprints on them, and some of his toys would be scattered on the floor mimicking hurt heroes. Hopefully your couches would still be brown and without burn marks when you went back out there, but that concern was easily put to rest by the one who currently had his eyes on your son while you made them snacks in the kitchen.

You finished platting the carrots and grapes — Ryu would refuse to eat any snack if grapes weren’t included in the mix — and grabbed the two plates with varying portions of the snack you threw together before walking back out into the “war zone”. The moment you were in view with a plate Ryu was at your legs, hopping up and down in anticipation for his afternoon snack he probably desperately needed from all the constant running he did. You put his plate on the coffee table for him to sit on the floor and eat, hopefully without playing around with it, and took a few more steps to the couch where your unexpected guest sat.

“Thank, Y/N! You didn’t have to make me one too,” Kirishima grinned, flashing you all of his sharp teeth in appreciation.

You smiled softly, “it’s really no problem. You’re the only visitor I have that doesn’t cause me unwanted stress, so feel free to make yourself comfortable.”

Kirishima watched you take a seat on the floor next to your child, the one that looked nothing like you, but like the boy that broke your heart. He watched as you smiled at him eating, picking up the pieces of food he’d drop onto the tables, and running your hands through his hair and fixing it to your liking. It was so clear what your priority was — what your life centered around. It was nostalgic because he had seen that look on your face before; with Katsuki.

He couldn’t shake the realization now; you had always been a decent person. When Katsuki would talk down about you as if you were less than, it had nothing to do with who you really were, and had everything to do with the image he had projected on you. What made him feel worse is how he saw how much you loved Bakugou — not only Bakugou, but Mina too — and he still somehow believed what Katsuki was saying. He was the only one of his friends that didn’t feel right using you like that. He watched them all, Kaminari, Sero, Uraraka, and even Momo, but never voiced a single concern.

“I’m sorry.” He gasped as he tried to contain the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. He had to close his eyes and clutch his knees, but even that couldn’t stop the waterfall from pouring down his eyes. “I can’t imagine what you must have felt when. . how lonely you must have been. . “

“Red Rio-“ Kirishima cut Ryu off.

“I don’t deserve that hero name when I did something so unmanly!”

“Kirishima!” You scolded, standing up and guiding Ryu to go into the kitchen, giving him a look that told him to just stay put and you’ll speak to him later.

Going back into the living room, you shook your head at the crying man on your couch. This wasn’t something you expected from him, but then again he had more emotional awareness than any of the people involved at a young age. You couldn’t help but wonder what he uses to think of you, what Katsuki told him you were truly like when you two were alone. Seeing him cry and apologize in a fit of obvious guilt didn’t make you feel good, and the thought of it being Katsuki doing the apologizing didn’t bring you any kind of comfort either.

But why?

You took a seat next to Kirishima with your hands cupped together on your lap. “Growing up, I wanted to be just like my dad. . He was this amazing business man that was good at everything, and no one could tell him anything, you know? He made it seem like the only way to succeed was to crush someone else, to have more money than everyone else, and that shaped who I was.” You recalled, going back through your memory as best as you could the same way you did when you sat alone in a hotel room with nothing but pain and resentment.

“All of you saw me like I wanted to be seen, whether I want to admit that or not, it’s true. They did exactly what anyone would have done to me as soon as I stepped into my father’s shoes if I had stayed naive and believed that money and love were the same thing. If you think Katsuki could have done what he did in a lot better way, I agree, but if you think that I should have you all eternally in my debt like my father would have, then you still see me as the man I’ve been running from for a long time now. So. . whatever you’re apologizing for, thanks but that isn’t what I’m looking for.”

Kirishima had stopped crying midway through your life story, finding himself immersed in your point of view. It was absolutely flooring that you weren’t looking for revenge or even apology. Especially from Katsuki after hearing what he had told you all those years ago. He couldn’t help but wonder if you were the girl he knew that only wore name brand dresses and worried more about why her mother bought her ugly shoes than the world around her — the answer was both yes and no.

You were that girl, but now you weren’t mirroring someone else’s views.

His heartbeat picked up and he felt his cheeks grow red as he stared at you. It was wrong how his entire body seemed to steam up when you were sitting there in your lounge wear that wasn’t even close to you looking done-up. You were the mother of his best friend’s kid, it was so much more than just being off limits.

Kirishima turned away from you when you looked at him, and you chuckled. “Don’t start getting all sappy on me now. I may not want to bury Bakugou and Ashido like you guys think, but I still don’t trust their friendship, and certainly not a relationship with the blonde bombshell.”

Suddenly, Kirishima remembered why he came here in the first place, and the whole reason Mina had given him your address. He whipped his head to the television that had been playing the entire time in the background, to see the very thing that he was meant to prepare you for. You followed his gaze in confusion, but that quickly changed to dread when you saw that explosive blonde hair and red eyes looking back at you on your TV. . along with a picture of you and Ryu.

“They are my family, and there is no story for any of you. Where they are isn’t any of your concern, and because of recent events where their lives were threatened they will be relocating to a safe location. There isn’t any need to worry, because I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt them.” Katsuki said, and immediately you could hear the press at the meeting talking and attempting to question him, but he walked off the stage with the same strict expression he had spoken with.

“Kirishima.”

“. . . You’re really pretty.”

“How pretty will I be with my hands around your neck?”

(A/N: Big thanks to @xwackk and @misssugarless for their help <3! I hope you guys enjoy, and I really can’t show how much I really appreciate all the kindness you guys show me on this book! ❤️❤️❤️)

Taglist <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @ladybeautiful18 @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian @definitely-yours @oikawarc @suneaterofthebig3 @m0na-l0ver @nkb0048 @losertsukki

#bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x y/n #x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #bnha angst #anime x reader

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tundrainafrica · 3 years ago

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Hey so how does it feel to carry the entire Levihan fandom on your back? I absolutely love all your stories! I always look forward to when you update! I had an idea for a fic but I haven't seen anyone do it. Where past levi wakes ups ( when he only sees hange as a friend) in the future to find that he's happily married to hange or living domestically with her and just contemplates his feelings for her

Title: Unwritten

Summary:

“Hange Zoe. One of the reasons why she creates really quality works is because aside from writing the script, she’s very hands on with everything from the direction, to the design and just the overall production… And she knows how to do it. When I watch her movies, it feels like they're peering into my soul or something.”

“Peering into your soul…” It was a tacky choice of words and Levi could only repeat them with some level of disbelief.

“What makes Hange Zoe's writing special are those in betweens. The unwritten parts... if you know what I mean?"

Levi is assigned to work with screenwriter Hange Zoe and he is left constantly wondering why the hell she's taking her work so seriously.

Link: AO3

Note: I conceptualized this long fic after looking through a some of the prompts in my inbox and playing with them.. TYSM to everyone who sent those. I won't be dropping all the prompts I used when making this now because it might end up spoiling the fic as a whole but I will be dropping the prompts with every chapter I updated.

This fic doesn't actually follow any prompt strictly, I twisted the prompts around them, tore them apart, put them together so they might seem unrecognizable for some.

Either way, I'm very grateful to readers who are sending me prompts. It keeps me writing and brainstorming even when life gets terribly busy.

So thank you for them :D. I'm trying to get back to posting my writing more regularly again and this fic has been sitting in my folder for a while, I was just a little nervous to post it. Thanks to itShailaAM for looking through it!

If neither of us remember anything… Then it’s like it never happened right?

The voice was nostalgic, heart wrenchingly nostalgic. It had a unique way of twisting at his gut, spidering up his spine then leaving an almost painful pang in his chest.

Despite the overwhelming sensations, Levi found himself still able to take control.

So he reached out.

Then he was chasing after her again.

Chasing… He then wondered. How long had he been chasing? How long had he been awake?

With the first light of morning, whatever message, whatever meaning he could have made up for himself dissipated.

Or maybe it was never there to begin with.

For the first time in years or even decades, Levi was wasting his early morning window before work. He wasn’t doing much of anything but staring up at the white ceiling in some feeble attempt to make sense of it again. He came up empty save for two things: a faint throbbing in his head and a half hearted conclusion that maybe it really was just some fevered dream.

“Good morning!" Someone was right next to him. Her voice was higher, more mellow. A hairs breadth away from his ear though, it grated.

Levi narrowed his eyes and the blur cleared somewhat. “Petra?” He heard himself speak. He was in an unfamiliar in-between, completely in control of himself, yet strangely disconnected. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Petra put one hand on the back of her head and gave him a sheepish grin. “Sorry about barging in like this…” She didn’t have to apologize. They were childhood friends and with all the family gatherings they had spent together growing up, they were more than comfortable just flitting in and out of each other’s apartments.

Levi didn’t respond. There were more important things to think about like the slow and almost painful process of sitting up. That morning, he was a little more careful than usual.

“Your mom told me to check on you.” Petra continued.

“Typical,” he muttered coldly. He turned towards the window, and took in the view of the blue sky, a few stories above ground. It should calm him if he stared at it long enough. “She always overreacts,” he added. At that point, the crankiness had started to subside and Levi realized he didn’t mind the doting too much. His mother had always been like that anyway. Growing up, a sprained ankle or an animal bite from a family pet had always been enough for Kuchel to insist on a visit to the doctor.

Petra let out a dry chuckle. “I don’t blame her though. Since the accident, she’s been asking about you every...”

Everyday. Levi completed it for her. He wouldn’t be surprised if his mother had asked about him every hour. “She can always ask me directly,” he said out loud before Petra could finish. He didn’t feel too bad about interrupting. Petra had been speaking particularly slowly since a while ago and if he let her speak like that for any longer, they might not get anything done.

As if she had read his mind or at least noticed the impatience, she immediately gathered herself. “You always downplay it,” she said, more clearly this time.

“She always exaggerates it.”

“That accident was pretty bad though.” Petra cocked her head to the side. “I’m sure you understand that, right?”

Levi averted his gaze for a brief second. He couldn’t deny that part. That accident had apparently been bad enough to merit a month long hospital stay, bad enough for Levi to not remember much of it aside from the phantom pains in his chest, And bad enough to take the brunt of the pain and the inconvenience of dealing with the symptomatic disorientation, the fatigue and the begrudging need for some support.

A few seconds of reflection later, Levi concluded maybe there was good reason for that overreaction. “But I can take care of myself.”

Ironically, his body chose that moment to teeter.

“Hey, you okay?” Petra put one warm hand on his shoulder. “You think you can make it to work today?”

The throbbing at the back of his head had dulled to a bearable ache but he could have sworn it had been worse in the hospital. “I don’t have enough leaves,” he said. He focused for a while longer on Petra’s eyes and saw reason.

Maybe I can take a longer break?

His body was probably silently begging for more leaves. On the contrary, another part of him had been yearning for normalcy for a while. Practicality had been the deciding factor. Although Levi had more than enough leaves, did he have more than he would have been comfortable giving up? Maybe not. He wouldn’t take it anyway. He had more than enough strength to push himself out of bed and pad lightly to the bathroom.

Unwillingly or willingly? He was too tired to tell.

“You were in the hospital just a week ago.” Petra was a voice of reason or a voice of temptation.

“I can’t take any more leaves,” Levi repeated again, as if saying it louder somehow made it more convincing. He made his way to his closet, keeping his strides purposeful, partially for himself, partially for her.

Even for a long time friend, Petra had always been shy and conservative. As soon as Levi motioned to pull his shirt up, she rushed out of the room in some characteristic gesture of modesty.

His bedroom door closed with a click and Levi started to slip his clothes off much faster. His head continued to throb. There was a strange ringing in his ears and the room was a little drafty, typical for early spring.

Levi didn’t have the mind space to prepare for that brush with icy wind. Fucking hell. Discomfort then the desperation that followed had him considering calling in sick again.

After using up three week’s worth though, vacation leaves were starting to feel more like a scam than an actual benefit of the job. He ran through the motions of his typical morning routine. Or at least, what had been typical a month ago. Since the accident, he hadn’t worn anything but loose shirts, pajamas and hospital gowns. Back in the hospital, he had been asleep a lot of that time.

He pulled his pants on, then sluggishly pulled his sweater over him, dolefully noting how snug fitting clothing seemed like strangers to his skin.

He didn’t feel like the same person anymore.

It looked like Petra did notice something was different. Over breakfast, she had pushed the plates closer to him. She did the honors of pouring the scrambled eggs onto his plate, then placing a loaf of bread right next to him. “Eat, we have a long day ahead.”

Levi mumbled something that could have been a ‘thanks’ or a ‘yes.’ He didn’t think too far about it either. There were more pressing things to deal with, like internally psyching himself up for his first day back at work and finding routine once again in the recovery process.

For a few minutes after, the two were silent in the small kitchen save for the sound of chewing and the sound of cutlery clacking on the plate.

“Hey Levi,” Petra hesitantly broke the silence. “You really don't remember what happened?” She had asked that question countless times before, back at the hospital, on his first day back at home and every single time she paid a visit.

He chalked it up to worry. In some semblance of a response, Levi downed the bread in his mouth in one painful gulp, then took a sip of tea. “I remember waking up in the hospital.”

“Before that.”

Levi dropped the half eaten bread on the plate and stared straight up at the ceiling for a second. “Leaving work,” he answered. It was too vague of an answer and Petra didn't seem satisfied.

Of course she wouldn’t be satisfied. He always walked the same route home and routine wouldn’t give too much of an answer to the question of how the hell more than a month ago, he had ended up with a severe concussion and a few contusions in the hospital emergency room, a few towns away from his own.

Past was past though. There was no use digging into it. At present, he had medical bills to pay and a career to salvage. No time for a personal investigation. He attempted to digress. “What did I miss?” Levi asked. “At work?” He noted Petra’s very disconcerting expression, a combination of pity and uncertainty. It was starting to get annoying.

Petra furrowed her brows, a little more hesitant to speak that time. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about...”

In protest, Levi put the bread down and stared at Petra, his stone cold expression unwavering. He wouldn’t be eating unless Petra continued. He wasn’t hungry anyway.

A few minutes of silence later and it seemed to work. Petra looked down at the bread then up at him. Whatever was plaguing her mind then had taken some control over her. “A lot has changed since the accident,” she started.

“With work?” Levi asked again. He dropped the bread on the plate, deliberately allowing the clatter, as if the loud jarring sound would be enough to drive away the disbelief. Three weeks or fifteen business days wasn’t supposed to be a long time taking into account the speed of office bureaucracy.

Petra nodded, a wry smile on her face. Her expression, her demeanor gave the uncertainty away before she spoke of it. “You’re probably going to have to talk to Mr. Zackley about it…”

Levi’s mind was racing. Despite the throbbing, Levi had managed to fill in the blanks for himself. Even before Petra expounded on it, Levi had started to accept already, going back to work was probably not going to be such an easy ride.

Being gone for weeks had done a number to his job.

Three weeks to be exact. It was just three weeks, fifteen business days. Despite Petra’s apparent discomfort, her incessant warnings not to ‘expect,’ Levi had expected some semblance of normalcy. When his hopes were dashed, Levi felt like he had been body slammed out of nowhere by an oncoming train.

“I’ve been working on their set for years…Since the pilot episode, ” Levi said slowly. Hell, since even before the pilot episode if you consider the preproduction stage. He didn’t want it to seem at all like it was an argument and he subdued his tone to something lighter, with the intention of reminding himself not to talk back at authority.

“And we’ve transferred you,” General Manager Darius Zackley said matter-of-factly. “Underground City has been garnering a lot of attention lately and we couldn’t afford to be undermanned at such a crucial point of production.”

“But was it necessary to transfer me?”

Mr. Zackley’s expression softened. He didn't have a natural expression that demanded authority but he made up for it with reason. “It’s a primetime show,” he explained. “One of our best, and given the uncertainty regarding your accident…” For some reason, he had hesitated at that word. “We couldn’t take a gamble. We had you immediately replaced after the first week.”

“And?” At face value, the new developments were starting to seem terribly, terribly disappointing. “I can still work there.” Levi was perfectly aware of where the conversation was going. Still, it didn’t hurt to try.

Mr. Zackley was surprisingly patient. “It’s not an issue of you not fitting in. But we want to properly and more efficiently distribute our labor. The production of Underground City is currently…” He cleared his throat. “Oversaturated.”

Oversaturated with budget, resources. Underground City was a crime and mystery drama, one of their more high budget productions. Levi wasn’t too surprised at that piece of information, having worked closely with the producers and the writers since the pilot.

With a boss a few reporting levels above his own though, Levi couldn’t do much but listen quietly. Disappointment and uncertainty loomed over him and he was tiring more quickly.

“We’ve made some arrangements, set you up with a new role.” Mr. Zackley was taking his sweet time, his painfully sweet time.

At the butt end of Mr. Zackley’s whims, Levi was a mess. He racked his brain for all possible outcomes of the ‘arrangements’, a painful process, hampered by the weight of too many possibilities. They were a medium sized network that produced most of their own TV shows on top of news coverage and documentaries, still too many for Levi to have cared enough about to count.

At that moment, he was determined to make up for lost time. Naturally, his mind first flew to the more well known productions, those that had been receiving the best ratings in prime time TV since he had started working there.

Underground City. Military Police.

Working at the set of the crime drama ‘Underground City’ had been a good run for Levi, one he would have liked to continue but Mr. Zackley said so himself, they replaced him. ‘Military Police,’ one of their more popular historical war dramas, also received one of the bigger chunks of their budget. With Zackley’s very sullen expression, it looked like he wasn’t at all there to give Levi a promotion.

He didn’t really mind not working on the ‘Military Police’ set anyway. Everyone there seemed like a lazy prick and that long running drama had always seemed overrated to him. What else would be waiting for him though? “To where?” Levi pressed.

The old man hummed for a second, leaned forward on his seat. “I talked to Erwin about this and we have an opening in one of our daytime shows.”

“Erwin?” Levi repeated. The name was more than just familiar and he allowed himself a brief moment to recall. Erwin Smith. One of the more prominent in-house directors. Just digging deep into his mind, riling up whatever was causing the headache in the first place. He sat still and waited for it to subside again.

Then he wondered if it had been physical or just an emotional reaction to the mess he found himself in. He was barely recovering, he was plunged into a new position and he was confused, utterly confused.

“Consider it a temporary position until something else opens up,” Mr. Zackley added. “Given that you just got back from the hospital, it would be better if you started small.” He shot Levi a placating look. “Either way, this is a good opportunity for you, Ackerman…” It didn’t seem so genuine. “To ease you back into the hustle and bustle of working in TV production.”

Zackley spoke for an eternity longer after that but it had done nothing to make the transfer any better.

Levi had been working with that same hustle and bustle for years and he was confident, a three week break at the height of production wouldn’t have been enough to throw him--- hell, most people off completely.

But he was being treated like some invalid. Zackley’s warm words yet his uninviting demeanor sent some alarm bells ringing inside Levi.Mr. Zackley was overly consoling, overly placating and Levi’s mind was racing.

Levi took a deep breath and dropped his shoulders, willing himself to relax and focus on the present. Whatever the catch was, he’d find out soon anyway.

To ease you back into the hustle and bustle of working in TV production.

What a magnificent fucking lie.

“Start small my ass.” With the stress just piling up and his body barely catching up, Levi was tempted to let it out as anything louder, accompanying it with the very dramatic motion of dropping the paper work on the floor and relishing the loud thud. He imagined scattering the pages on the table, spilling them onto the floor and maybe kicking them out onto some curb.

Then he brushed off that mental image completely.

That would only create an unnecessary mess, maybe even cause a scene in that small cafe. Although his life seemed like it was complete chaos, his fastidious side wouldn’t have allowed him to make it any more worse. Then and there, he deemed it the best option to just take a sip of his tea, allow it to warm him up slowly and create a comfortable distraction, somewhere convenient.

A minute or so later, Levi accepted, tea didn’t do too good of a job. After all, what could tea do, aside from supporting him through the long and painful two days of ‘adjustment’ and the journey to the very frustrating conclusion that the general manager of the studio, Mr. Zackley was too out of touch with the struggles of the average worker.

“Just for long enough to get back to the hustle and bustle of TV production? What a fucking liar,” Levi muttered again. He dropped the tea cup on the saucer with a clank.

“Well, technically you are starting small,” Petra said. “They don’t expect too much quality wise from a soap opera on a day time slot.” She flipped through the pages of scripts and the storyboards that formed an overwhelmingly thick pile of papers on the coffee table.

It wasn’t too thick. Levi stared for a while longer and he decided it was a manageable pile of documents. The soft copies on his laptop were also of a countable number.

The deadline to be completely functional in two days though wasn’t as reasonable.

In search of some semblance of a break, Levi shifted his gaze towards Petra.

Her familiar presence had made the job change bearable. A half hearted response with her attention mostly channelled towards the piles of scripts had still been enough to have Levi more at home in the middle of the coffee shop in the late afternoon. “You didn’t even need to transfer,” Levi said. The indignance and the bitterness of a while ago seemed to be mellowing into something almost sweet.

Petra turned a beet red and she put her hands up in defense. “No no… I wanted to. Besides, this type of set is always in need of more people.”

Levi raised one eyebrow in response. Soap opera sets? Or maybe just daytime soap operas in general. Or maybe just that particular soap opera set. He turned back to the pile of papers on the table then back to his laptop.

The pile of papers on the table was the script for that month alone. The folders in the USB were eight seasons worth of soap opera scripts and episodes. Levi was once again reminded why such a project could have been so undersaturated.

Scratch that, he had never forgotten and he didn’t think he would ever forget anyway.

The script for just that month was much larger than the piles Levi worked with at his previous production. By the second day, he was starting to conclude, working with daytime soap operas was turning out to be a grind, a seemingly thankless grind.

Soap operas ran with the expectation of producing five episodes a week with a shoestring budget. The pressing deadlines and just the amount of content that had to be produced meant vacations and holidays were few and far in between for the average employee. And the unreasonable demands usually meant that quality would naturally suffer.

Since he started assimilating into his job, he also started to wonder. What audience were they even producing soaps for in that day and age?

“Do you think you’ll even enjoy this?” Levi challenged.

“It’s too early to tell,” Petra said.

Levi didn’t want to admit it then, but he was convinced that she would even find a way to enjoy it. The question should have been for him. He was the one who could barely even get past the first page of the script.

Petra flashed him a knowing smile, flipping the pages a little faster. She wasn’t reading them and all attention was on Levi.

Her face could have been asking questions. Or Levi could have been projecting. He repeated the question to himself. What now? More specifically, what was he supposed to do?

Then he answered it. Get used to it? Or maybe just accept it as a job. The grind would eventually get less painful he was sure. But would he ever see the beauty in it?

Levi had never taken the time to watch that particular soap opera but he had seen too many in passing to know what he would be working with.

The stories didn’t make fucking sense. The sets were cheaply made. The lights, the cameras and the resources for special effects were far from what he was given when he was still working with the twenty-one-episodes-a-season, one-season-a-year ‘Underground City.”

According to Erwin, they just didn’t have the budget. Besides, the average viewer didn’t expect much else anyway from a soap opera.

Either way, he was still hired as the cinematographer. This is still your job. Levi took a deep breath then exhaled with a soft huff. First things first, he had to familiarize himself with ten to fifty episodes worth of scripts. That night, he would be watching the blocking, the lighting, the editing, the overall production.

That was the job of the fucking cinematographer anyway. Erwin had warned him though, they were severely undermanned in all facets of production, pre production, production proper and post production. And for shows that aired multiple times a week, that meant, the grind wouldn't end.

So he wouldn’t just be the cinematographer.

At the impending workload that followed his orientation phase, Levi closed his eyes tight. For a second there, his mind flew to other opportunities and just the process of editing his CV and applying elsewhere.

Maybe in a year he would reapply, or maybe even in months.

He wondered if Petra was thinking the same thing. If she were, she didn’t make it obvious. Petra enjoyed the production process just as much as he did and she had been the reason he had found a job there in the first place.

“Welcome back to the working world.” Petra chuckled.

Levi blinked back the surprise in his eyes as he was once again pulled back to reality. Admittedly, he was overwhelmed. The weak throbbing returned and after spending too many hours insisting to Petra that he was ready to go back to work, he didn’t think it right to take a break.

He sipped his tea and deemed that a quick break.

“God I miss our tea times,” Petra said, looking pointedly at Levi's tea caup. She flipped the script over and pulled her teacup towards her.

Levi noted the wistful expression on Petra’s face. “I was only out for a month,”

Petra shook her head. “But for a week or so, we thought you wouldn’t make it.” There was a subtle crack, not too noticeable if Levi hadn’t tensed up and watched her closely.

It was bringing up too many unwelcome emotions at once, and somewhere in the back of his mind, a haze of memories aggravated the throbbing in his head.

Levi turned back to the pile of papers. With the amount of work to do, he would never have the time to ponder what happened anyway. In an attempt at digression, he pulled the script towards him, and started to flip the pages, poring over words yet only taking in half of it.

A very boring half.

Eventually, he gave up. “Let’s go back home. We’re not getting anything done here.” He gathered the pages, and meticulously returned them to each envelope.

He was supposed to be reviewing the scripts to get some idea on how the TV show worked. They had chosen to work in the cafe to escape from the bustle of the sets and attempt some productivity. Yet, they had been in the cafe for a few hours already and he still didn’t remember what the story had been about in the first place.

Soap operas didn’t have logical plots anyway. Levi thought to himself. Maybe just accepting could make his work feel more unbearable. He watched as Petra gathered the pages on her end, stuffed them into her bag.

“Sorry, I thought you would have wanted tea. You always liked this place…” Petra was explaining herself. The not-so-eloquent way at which she did it was a distraction. In fact, everything at that point was either a distraction or even irritating. Levi took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let the throbbing take control for a second.

One step at a time. Levi slung his bag over his shoulder. “The tea was good,” he said, more for her than himself. That was a lie. In fact, the tea tasted underwhelming. Tea usually didn’t disappoint though and Levi was starting to suspect the fault was in him. “Just give me some time to get used to life again,” he added, his tone more apologetic that time.

A few seconds or even minutes of reflection later and Levi had to admit, he felt like he really had changed during that break.

Cinematography is visual storytelling. Or so, that was what he had been taught when he started working with TV shows years ago.

When there was no story he could follow, there was no essence or heart to portray. So, Levi naturally approached it like a cold hard science. The hard copies on folders lay abandoned on the coffee table. His laptop remained unopened.

Levi's attention was trained on the big screen. He had silently been sprawled on the sofa since they arrived back to his apartment hours ago. Bundled up in a sweatshirt, legs propped up on the coffee table, Levi was in that convenient trance between relaxing and analyzing.

He had no idea what the couple on the TV had been arguing about. He had no idea who had fathered the large overly tacky baby bump sticking out of the woman.

The latest episode was playing on repeat and Levi remembered two things happening in the past ten minutes. A pregnant woman entering the crappy set of their mansion, hand on her oversized belly and man looked back at her then approached her, a look of abject horror on his face. He was shouting something, obscenities maybe?

By that point, Levi’s mind started to wander with too many other passing thoughts.

The horror at finding out the protagonist was pregnant was overly exaggerated. Were baby bumps really supposed to be that big? And why did it take them that many months to figure it out? How many pregnancies did the protagonist go through? How many love interests did she have?

Then the cinematographer and the photographer in him took over.

There were more important things to look into. The camera never moved. Levi was familiar with multi camera setups and he didn’t need to think too hard about it. Most of the scenes were filmed in the house, in the office, all conveniently made sets, the conveniently written scripts were written around the shitty budget.

And the high frame rate, in tandem with the inorganic lighting, the lack of special effects and just the lack of some careful camera movement, made the overall story and the overall view, underwhelming, not at all cinematic.

The soap opera effect.

Some wouldn’t see it. Others would probably notice it but not glaringly enough to complain. Levi had worked in film for years and when he would search for the characteristic motion blur, he would immediately find it. The culmination of a simple camera set up, a few sets, a cheap camera, and with a studio and network always in some hurry to cut the budget, the soap opera effect was very apparent.

And they would be expecting the same cooperation from him in putting together a cheaply made production. On the bright side, that meant that despite having to deal with some shitty soap opera plot that didn’t make any sense, he wouldn’t have to do too much thinking with lighting, blocking and editing. Planning sets and scenes would be a light stroll in the park at best, soul suckingly monotonous at worst.

Levi reached for the remote and started to rewind, his interest suddenly piqued.

“So what do you think happened to the baby?” Petra asked. She dropped a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

Levi wasn’t in any mood to eat. More importantly, he in the mood to speculate the cheap excuse for a plot. “Am I supposed to care?” He pulled his legs close to him and leaned further on the armrest of the sofa, giving Petra more than enough space to get herself comfortable.

“Well, you’re working on the set right? Better to at least know the major plot points of what you’re working with.”

“Spoil me,” Levi said.

Petra reached for the popcorn and grabbed a handful. She turned to him, a wry smile on her face. “You really don’t even wanna try to enjoy it?”

“This is a job. ”

Petra dropped her shoulders in defeat. “Well… Hanako gets kidnapped…”

“Hanako?”

“The baby…” Petra answered, looking pointedly at him. “They literally spent an episode discussing the baby’s name.” A laugh was very much evident in her voice.

And there are a hundred episodes to sift through. “I don’t have to know the baby’s name to do my job.”

“The baby will be the main character in the next season. If you have been reading the script--- Or even just following the story...” Petra put her hands out and pointed at the TV, starting to look more exasperated by the minute.

“Okay,” Levi responded firmly, not in any mood to stomach accusations. “Then I’ll learn her name when I start working. Just tell me what I need to know to do my job. ”

Petra sighed. “When we get back on air, there will be a time skip. Then the season post time skip picks up after Hanako’s first day of college. So before that she grew up with her adopted parents who found her abandoned in a box. They went through some tough times financially and in the latest pages of the script she gets a job in a coffee shop.” She turned towards the thick envelope on the table then glanced accusingly at him. “I could have sworn you were reading through that back in the cafe.”

Levi didn’t notice it. He had only half heartedly read the script. Still, he feigned a look of interest.

“Then a lot of the writers quit,” Petra continued. “So a lot of what happened hasn't been written yet.”

Levi flashed Petra a knowing look.

Petra sighed. "Apparently, people were overworked, the job didn't pay much so a lot of the crew, cinematographer, production designers, they all left which was most likely why they put you there.”

Levi only had to look back at his first day and his second day to understand the turnover rate. He had spent a little less than an hour familiarizing himself with systems that seemed to be put into place for show. Soon after that, he was bombarded with unreasonable deadlines, timelines, responsibilities outside his actual job title and a little less than two days to sift through eight seasons worth of scripts.

“And why they easily transferred me. We're really behind now. Post production for the last few episodes should be completed this week, aired by next week.

"Then we have a hiatus at least," Levi said, repeating it with that same cold professional tone Erwin had used with him on their first day. Except he knew that was a scam too. They would be using that two week hiatus to start filing.

That reminder at least pulled Levi back into reality. He couldn’t flit mindlessly from side to side and clock it up as ‘learning the ropes’ forever. Eventually, they were going to ask him to actually know the ropes. “Erwin said something about me working with production proper and post production,” Levi mindlessly rewinded some of the scenes again. “But they can’t expect me to write the script right?”

Petra shook her head. “No, I don’t think you will,” she said. “I talked to a few of the crew. They said they were hiring a writer. A whole writing crew actually--- And you know, among them, there are rumors about a big name screenwriter.”

Levi raised one eyebrow in disbelief. “Joining the set of a daytime soap opera.”

She put her hands up in defense. “It’s just a rumor.”

“A stupid rumor. What kind of screenwriter in their right mind would want to work here?”

Petra paused for a second, deep in thought. “Fine, it might just be a rumor. Still, ask yourself, why would there be rumors circulating in the first place?"

Levi sighed. “Which screenwriter then?” he asked, mostly in an attempt to humor her. And himself. The fact that a big name screenwriter would work in soap operas, might actually make ‘soap operas’ work.

“Hange Zoe,” Petra said, a wry knowing look on her face. As if it was a name Levi was supposed to know.

“Hange Zoe?” And if he followed the same ups and downs of Petra’s tone, he could pretend it was familiar to his lips. “Hange Zoe,” he said again.

Petra nodded. “The writer of the Titan series? The final movie of `Advancing Titans’ is coming out in the fall.”

Advancing Titans. The name had seemingly come out of nowhere, especially when Levi had already run through a few possible names in his head. Hange Zoe hadn’t been one of them. Although she was a big name in the screenwriting industry for sure, the idea of Hange Zoe working with soap operas seemed almost preposterous.

“Hange Zoe…” Levi said it one more time, in surprise or in some attempt to practice saying it. “You’re seriously talking about that writer?” Levi looked to Petra for confirmation. Hange had only ever written one movie series from a completely different genre, which begged a question.“She has some experience in soap operas?”

Petra unlocked her phone, opened the browser and started typing and scrolling. “No… Just the movies…” she muttered a second later.

“Then why do you think she would suddenly want to work in a cheap ass day time soap opera?”

Petra looked back at him, a dumbfounded look in her face. “But the timing just fits too well. The final movie is about to be released. Apparently, she didn’t renew her contract with her studio. There are even rumors of her leaving the movie industry… And there were speculations and everything.”

“Retirement?” Levi suggested.

“Why retire in your thirties?” Petra said.

“Well, when you’re earning millions per script…” Levi trailed off. Thinking up an argument was too much of a tall order. He continued flipped through channels in silence and he had managed to pick out the movie ‘Advancing Titans’ by just a few seconds worth of a scene.

Speak of the devil.

But it wasn’t strange at all to come across the movies while flipping through channels. After all, Advancing Titans had become a household name over the past few years.

A person in a green cloak was flying, killing some man eating a zombie. It was a familiar scene, Even Levi, who almost prided himself in never having watched the movies, was familiar enough with the iconic movements, the colors and the insignia on the back.

The wings of freedom. How the hell that was connected to the story, Levi never watched enough to find out. Nor was he interested. Science fiction and fantasy were just never his cup of tea.

If Levi had to guess, soap operas and crime dramas shouldn’t have been big wig screenwriter Hange Zoe’s cup of tea either, especially after dedicating years of her life into a production as complex as a science fiction, dark fantasy cinematic universe..

“Do you really think Hange Zoe can actually work with low budget soap operas?” Levi asked.

Petra shrugged and Levi wondered why he had even asked her in the first place. Of course, she wouldn’t know. Still, she spoke up. “Even if the rumors were wrong and it wasn’t Hange Zoe. The important thing is they get someone to pump out scripts right? And your job anyway is to make sure everything gets filmed.”

“I guess.” Levi kept his eyes trained on the screen. The scene shifted from a forest, to the cobblestoned streets in town. A parade of miserable soldiers entered the town within the walls. The camera focused on a father, who navigated through crowds of people, zooming in one of the shorter soldiers.

Captain, I wanted to talk to you about my daughter… She wrote me a letter… She’s too young to get married.

Something about the expression of the soldier pulled Levi in. For a moment, he was frozen on his seat, completely hypnotized.

Petra’s voice tore into his trance. “That’s one of the scenes I can never forget.”

In some desperate bout of retaliation, Levi switched the channel of the TV. “Let’s watch something else.”

“Why? You okay?” Petra asked.

“I’m fine. I’d rather watch something more productive.” Levi flipped more rapidly through channels. He was tempted to just turn off the TV and call it a night.

“There’s a lot to learn from watching that,” Petra started.

"Like what?" Levi asked, his grip on the remote was still firm.

Petra opened her mouth, then closed it again. She sighed. “It's hard to explain... but remember that scene just a while ago. The father approached the captain about his daughter… She died while fighting the titans and they had to empty the cart so they lost all the bodies..."

Levi kept his eyes glued to the screen, suddenly hyper aware that there might have been a judgemental or impatient look on his face. “Go on,” Levi said, as if that could do anything to placate the discomfort already apparent in her voice.

“I guess the point I wanted to make is…” Petra still seemed far from calm. “Hange Zoe. One of the reasons why she writes really quality works apparently is because aside from writing the script, she’s very hands on with everything from the blocking, to the screenwriting and just the overall production… Which makes the storyline and the movie so gripping. When I watch it, it feels like the movie is peering into my soul or something.”

“Peering into your soul…” It was a tacky choice of words and Levi could only repeat them with some level of disbelief.

“A lot of the novelty of Hange Zoe’s writing… The parts that make it special are those in betweens. The parts she left unwritten... if you know what I mean?"

“That’s cool,” Levi responded, only barely. He switched to their local channel, to the late night reruns of the soap opera. .

“They’re good movies. I don’t think they were overrated," Petra said, a hint of defensiveness in her tone.

"I never said they weren’t good movies."

"You don't seem to want to hear about it at all."

"I'm just not interested. Besides, I'm too busy with work." That was the right moment to feign business. Levi held his phone in front of him, opened up the browser and wrote out a few familiar keywords. The movies of the titan series were all ranging from four to five star ratings. Whether it had been commended for cinematography or writing, he had been too lazy to check the more detailed reviews.

The reviews were most likely raving, sloppily made and potentially biased and Levi didn’t want to hear another synonym for ‘peers into your soul.’

His eyes were drooping, he was exhausted. Petra seemed to be ready to leave as well. But he had some space, he needed some break. And what better way to spend it than to do a little stalking? "Petra, could you send a file of the first movie? I think I might wanna watch it."

"You can stream the older ones on demand," Petra said.

Levi only had to open the menu on his TV to see the option for streaming. Right. Watching movies was starting to feel like a chore though and he was in no mood watching that night.

He didn’t say much else after that and the night ended with greetings exchanged. Petra only lived a few floors below him and it didn’t feel any different from being alone.

Before he knew it, he was half asleep already. He gave up, turned off the TV and allowed himself to doze off. When he came to his senses again, the sun was streaming through the window, and with work starting in an hour or so, he had little to no time to even start the movie.

The set was small. The budget was miniscule. The turnover rate was high.

And for projects that wanted to disguise themselves as official and corporate, it was utter chaos. One week into his job, Levi had to admit, he was reaching too widely, and he was spread out too thin.

There was a semblance of structure within his team. Petra and Eld worked with cinematography, filming and camera management and all he had to do was make sure the blocking looked good, limit the amount of retakes needed. Gunther and Oluo worked in post production and video editing.

But structure was an illusion.

The actors hadn’t arrived yet. Other new roles hadn't been finalized. The script was still unfinished. Yet, they were under the mercy of the vision of higher ups

"We're heavily delayed,’ or so that was what Erwin had explained. ‘Feedback of the higher ups.”

There were deadlines, unreasonable deadlines for the employees, yet a reasonable wait for the average audience. They had less than a month to finish filming and post production for the first few episodes of the new season, less than a week to produce everything for the old season.

When he was in a pseudo-management role, as a cinematographer, it was automatic. When filming, he should be going down to the set. But they weren't filming yet. In fact, there were people in the set not doing anything.

In the chaos, everything didn't seem to add up. So Levi forced one memorandum, one attempt at structure. He would finish the final editing by that night and start the next day with a blank slate. Even if he needed to, he would stay until midnight to make it work.

That new writing team should be coming soon. Levi repeated to himself. Erwin had said so himself, Petra had also mentioned it excitedly over lunch.

All Levi had to do was get the episodes ready for review by the higher ups, then ready for airing then he could start that new season with a healthier approach, maybe find some way to add more structure to his already hectic job.

“Petra, don’t wait for me. I’m working overtime today.”

Petra jumped on her seat.

Levi only realized then, he had come up from right behind her. And Petra had been busy reading through something in her laptop, a quick glance confirmed, it was the unfinished script.

Levi continued. “You don’t have to wait for me.”

Petra looked back at him, a worried look in her face. She opened her mouth to speak.

“Deadlines,” Levi answered.

“You need any help? You know Oluo and Gunther, they can stay too. Or even me.”

“I can finish it myself,” Levi said. He was completely aware either way that it was his job to review everything before anyone else reviewed and before it went on air.

There was an indignant look on Petra's face. But Petra never really imposed. She nagged, doted, argued but she never imposed.

And he managed to pacify her by requesting an espresso and a cup of tea from the tea shop right in front of the studio. Beverages were frowned upon in the video editing room. Levi though was particularly meticulous, he was tired and stressed and he allowed himself some leeway.

Just today. And when they start filming the new season, during the hiatus, Levi would reopen his work with a more organized approach, more suited for his personality. He constantly reassured himself of that as he continued to edit the videos, crosschecking with storyboards and scripts.

Most of the work had been done. Most of the work had been easy to scan through. Still it was hours of sifting through retakes, reviewing and setting them up for reviews and cuts. In the silence, completely alone, He gladly gave the task the required focus, more than enough not to have noticed the sound of the door click behind him.

“This is the coffee you asked for right?” The voice wasn’t Petra’s but still it didn’t seem at all hostile. In fact, the voice seemed friendly.

Friendly enough for Levi to feel obliged to respond.”Thanks.” A new hire maybe? In the one week he had been working there, three people had already quit.

It wasn’t worth a second thought. The important thing was he got his coffee and tea. So he didn’t bother looking up, only looking with his peripherals to see the paper white of the cup just a few inches away. He reached one hand towards the cup and surprisingly, his hand didn’t grasp for paper. It went for something a little softer, something a little cooler but still warm to the touch.

And it moved. A bug? A pest? That had been Levi’s first speculation, being the paranoid clean freak he was. Before his guesses could get anymore creative he looked at the cup and saw the cup was stable on his desk. He had a grip, not on the cup itself but on the other hand which held the cup. The movements were from a hand underneath his..

A wild hand. It slipped out of his grip, and before Levi could pull away, it gripped him in return, squeezing harder on his pointer finger and his middle finger.

For just a second. A painfully awkward second.

A second of realization was all Levi needed to pull away. “May I help you?” he asked. It took a lot more willpower not to curse at that strange invasion of privacy. A second later, reason took over and Levi realized that he was the one who had gripped her first.

He had planned to grip the coffee cup, he justified himself.

“They said… You needed some coffee.” The voice was nonchalant. Yet somehow, nonchalance had managed to make his blood boil. “So I came here to drop it and say hi,” she added, as if that was the most natural response.

‘Say hi’ didn’t usually involve two hands gripping one another, then interlocking. Her hands were still gripping the tip of his fingers and for a second they were frozen.. “Are you always this touchy then?” Levi pressed. Especially with a total stranger. Levi looked up, turned his head towards the voice and confirmed it, she was definitely a familiar face but they were barely even acquaintances.

Brown hair tied up in a ponytail, glasses propped comfortably on her nose and just underneath them, warm brown eyes that had no problem just staring, studying… And in their own way, leaving Levi very very jarred by the mundane gesture called ‘eye contact.’

“I was hoping to talk for a bit,” she said. “If you’re not too busy, we can---”

“I’m busy right now,” Levi said. He pulled the coffee closer to him, suddenly careful when awareness dawned on him abruptly. Suddenly, he was completely aware that the coffee cup was only a few inches away from the computer. “Can this wait?”

Those brown eyes were suddenly wider, a hint of surprise. Then they narrowed at him and Levi felt some pity blanket his already sluggish and aimless movements. Before he knew it, he was very very unproductive.

He had to do something. “My name is Levi by the way.” He was deliberately gentler that time and usually lowering his voice and slowing down did some magic to make him seem kinder than he usually seemed to new people. Or so, that had been what Petra had advised multiple times before.

Levi looked up, forced a subtle smile, a combination between a tightlipped line and crinkles at the edge of his mouth. The most he could manage for a courteous introduction.

Her reaction was unexpected to say the least. He noticed her eyes first, the way they widened. Her jaw dropped. She closed it again, a subtle twitch in her lip.

Did I say something wrong? Levi thought to himself. He looked back at the computer screen. “Levi… Levi Ackerman,” he added. Would that help ease the tension of the room?

Even when Levi started to make a game for himself, playing video edits again and again, he realized he was more focused on pretending to concentrate than in actually polishing the transitions between scenes.

Hange eventually spoke up. “Hello Levi. Nice to meet you.” Her voice was softer in that last sentence.

“Nice to meet you too.” That had been surprisingly difficult to say. He sensed the discomfort in her voice, and maybe he had unknowingly mirrored it.

“My name is Hange Zoe. I’m going to be working as a screenwriter here…”

Oh. Oh. So that’s Hange Zoe. For someone who spearheaded blockbuster hits, who had people talking like crazy over rumors, it turned out she was a very underwhelming presence.

“I’m the cinematographer here,” Levi said. Technically, that was his job title but at that point, he was doing everything. “So I guess we’re going to be working together a lot.”

“We will,” Hange responded. Her presence was underwhelming. So underwhelming that Levi felt no need to even be excited that they had a prodigy screenwriter in their midst. Her voice was soft when she spoke to him. Her eyes were some mix of disappointment, nervousness, uncertainty.

Levi suspected it was her demeanor, her approach towards him that had caused such tension to settle in such a tiny room. “Thank you for coffee,” Levi said. Any nice gesture seemed like a worthwhile attempt to ease it.

A wide smile played at Hange’s lips, still far from what Levi would have considered confident though. “Happy to help.”

That’s the award winning screenwriter? “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“I’m going to be working on a few scripts tonight, have Erwin look at them in a day or so,” she said. Her voice had shifted to something more professional, and her meekness was starting to feel more like a misinterpretation on Levi's end..

“Looking forward to them,” Levi said.

The door slammed behind him, a little louder than the click that followed. The room was dim, it was almost distracting. When Levi turned towards the lights, he considered turning it on, to save himself the discomfort of sore eyes.

He turned his chair, put enough wait into one leg only to notice the sluggishness, the numbness underneath. His legs were jelly. Her hands were trembling and his breaths weren’t coming out in predictable bouts. He turned back to the computer and prepared to review what he had already edited.

The video was playing and Levi was convincing himself that he was productive.

Halfway through the episode, or even a quarter through the episode (Levi wasn’t counting), his mind had wandered. When his surroundings just became a little too overwhelming, Levi let loose just a little bit. He let the heaviness in his chest and the stiffness of his limbs speak for him then.

That voice of a while ago, Hange Zoe’s voice. That voice was nostalgic, heart wrenchingly nostalgic.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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monkey-network · 4 years ago

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Why Klaus IS Christmas Kino

Klaus isn’t flawless, let’s get this out the way. My love for this film won’t deny that it bears a couple nits that can distract the experience. Jesper and Alva’s relationship felt like an eye-rolling inevitability, notable cliches here & there, a notable song felt both fitting and out of place, and while enjoyable, I’m not as big a fan of the climax as I thought. But in spite of it all, I love this film and it is one of the best modern animated Christmas films, period? Follow me here. I could go on about its wonderful animation cuz yeah, it’s unlike any other film. But a philosophy of mine is that the best animation enhances the writing and I can say Klaus is that surprisingly well written and has become an all time Christmas fave

*deep breath in* So let’s do this...

I mention that Klaus has its cliches, but you gotta know that it’s smarter than expected. Believe me when I say if the writers didn’t care, this could’ve actually been so much worse. Jesper could’ve been more manipulative towards everyone for his goals, Klaus would’ve given up entirely after knowing the truth about Jesper, we could’ve had an argument between Jesper and his dad about upholding business, the townsfolk could’ve reverted back to their old ways, plenty writing moments where this could’ve been Emoji Movie levels of insulting to your intellect. BUT, they don’t. The film never really turns back on itself, it keeps moving where, as the notable quote goes, an act of good will sparks another as it starts with Jesper’s father.

Even if nepotism was responsible for Jesper getting the job in the first place, he clearly sees his son be more spoiled than he’s worth so is like, “Ma boi, I will send you to the ends of the earth or leave you to the streets if you don’t do something with yourself.” He never cared about his son representing the postal company, or ruining his top class image, he was only tired of Jesper taking advantage of his fortune while not having any ambition of his own. Can’t help but say Jesper’s dad is a very respectable character because the sole reason the whole plot happened in the first place was because he just wanted his son to do better. It’s that act of genuine consideration that pushes Jesper to his wake up call as he reaches Smeerensburg.

People have compared this movie to Emperor’s New Groove through Jesper’s character and I say yes, but this film takes that next step and put Jesper in the pit of pits way early. Reminds me more of Ratatouille’s beginning where Remy’s lowest point is around the same time as Jesper’s. The harsh atmosphere of the island is treated very blunt in how this is our mailman’s nightmare come true. With his situation, our guy is truly at his lowest. Gives up now, he’ll be cut off his inheritance and probably will have worse. Everyone hates him and each other, his post office itself is in shambles, symbolic of how communication is practically thin outside conflict, and the teacher turned fish seller Alva is that path Jesper could notably be if he didn’t try. Everything is literally grey for this guy, but like Ratatouille, when you’re at your lowest there’s no where else to go but up. That’s where Klaus comes in...

This is genuinely the most clever interpretation of Santa I know, hands down. A well established woodsman, a crafter both of living, for him and the birds that reside in his woods, and recreation with the toys he made himself not just for kids, but specifically the kids he and his wife wanted but couldn’t have. Klaus feels like a real person, not just another take on the mythical man. You’re with him and Jesper as he, after familiar winds provide him a letter, a small spark to do something good, soon opens up and gets reminded of what’s kept him going all these years. It is no wonder he sees his wife in Jesper, it’s thanks to him that he could refurbish his dashed dream into a new one. He didn’t just want to do it for the children of the island, but for himself. That is another thing about this film: communication. I mention before how it’s practically thin at first due to a long going feud that isn’t even aware of why it’s still going. The joy in hate is only for hatred’s sake, and they make it very clear how miserable it all feels. That is where Jesper comes in. They don’t take shortcuts with how he gets the ball rolling, both accidentally and purposefully, he boots up to get things done, pushes himself to go to Klaus to make things happen. This is all in part by the youth, what really ties the plot together...

As I mentioned before (again), life in Smeerensburg is noticeably miserable but thanks to Klaus, by extension Jesper, the kids are enticed to do what it takes to get some genuine joy in their lives through the toys they’re able to get. They’ll make them letters, and if they can’t write, they’ll go to Alva for teachings, and if they act naughty, they’ll try to do good which in turn pushes the adults to do good for the sake of their kids. It really would’ve been one thing to sure enough make the kids spoiled because of the toy giving, focusing more on the extrinsic value of Klaus’s kindness but no. The children are very grateful for these gifts enough to feel compelled to do good, and it makes them feel good as much as it soon makes the adults more convinced to stop fighting. It helps that this all takes place in older times cuz I believe this would’ve been far different, possibly worse, if this took place in modern times. That or just kinda rip off Arthur Christmas, it’s my guess. As such, it gradually becomes an amazing Christmas film because it isn’t just the presents, the Santa Claus myth, the festive style of it all that makes this holiday special to me. It’s the warmth... of togetherness.

My favorite detail about Klaus is how it transitions from cold to warm with its atmosphere. We start out with the emptiest, harshest environment, enough fog to choke your eyes, and then we get to this moment with a brighter, clearer sight of the more united town as the Christmas spirit builds in the film, even when it isn’t even that day yet in-universe, so too does the warmhearted feeling that can come from celebrating it appear more and more. This film fleshes out more of what the Grinch taught me, what A Charlie Brown Christmas taught me, what I’ve come to appreciate about Christmas as I grew up in this materialistic world. I can say everyday can have the Holiday spirit, but Christmas is the time where I feel compelled to be grateful of what I’ve made and got and give back when honestly, I don’t care about getting the most expensive stuff anymore like I used to when I was way younger. This film is so sincere in what it wants to say, and you know this is indeed the same guy that made Minions. Yeah, not kidding and I’ll let you sit with that if you’re reading this as I continue because we have to talk about that moment...

Yeah, I don’t like being the Nostalgia Critic, but I too don’t take kindly to the ‘liar reveal’ trope myself and this could’ve been a point where the film lost me a little. Though you know what? It still works. See, with that trope, what sucks is that it can tend to unravel the plot to where you know as soon as they break apart, they’ll get back together regardless of the deed done. This is why I don’t like A Bug’s Life, don’t @ me. But I’m not saying it can’t done right, like in Over the Hedge. The breakup between Jesper and the others is painful, but it is necessary to give us a couple great character moments. One is with Jesper and his dad, who came back personally to see that Jesper has indeed built something for himself. We get no dialogue between them but it’s clear that even when Jesper’s unintentionally successful thanks to Yzma and Bubba, he can tell his son wasn’t happy leaving everything behind, so he lets him stay since that was what he truly wanted this whole time. Again, give that man some credit for amazing dad. Another moment comes before the big reveal where not only do we see Jesper come to understand his own guilt surrounding his original intentions, but in the end they never hated him for coming back, especially due to him inadvertently stopping the enemy feud all together. Lastly, without that moment, we probably wouldn’t have got this smile. When Margu, purest character ever that I could make a whole segment about but I don’t wanna keep you too long, started to tear up after calling for Jesper thinking he left for good but she then sees our guy never really left and we get this teary smile:

I felt that. Almost more than anything else in this film.

Cliched as it can appear, the execution excels in those more memorable emotions for this film. It’s been a year since I watched this again and I remember so much about these characters. And my god, I haven’t even gotten to the animation which... my god.

Klaus is indeed the most beautiful upon beautiful films I’ve seen, and what makes it better is that it all enhances the story. I mention before of its transitional visual from cold to warm sights, but goddamn, the character designs, the environments, the expressiveness, the textures all amount to style perfect for this alone. I think it would’ve as well received if it had a more flat look, but they seriously went higher for a traditional appealing story that compliments the unique children’s storybook look of it all. This honestly is better than most of modern Disney films that I’ve seen, ironic since it feels like if you took Tangled the Series and made it 3D with more fluid character animation. And if I’m comparing something to the continuous mindblower that’s Tangled the Series, you’ve most certainly got on my best side.

Sergio Pablos and his team really pulled no punches in making this a great movie. A great Christmas movie, one worth seeing if not at least once but every Holiday season for tradition’s sake. Klaus gave me a good time, made me cry, and above all showed me to never stop having a good heart because doing good can indeed go far, thankless as it can be. Heck, my heart felt more rejuvenated than before in making this critique, that’s a testament to how much good this film means to me personally. What else is there to say?

It's The Best

#Klaus #Klaus movie #klaus netflix #Klaus 2019 #movies #art #animation #Christmas #holidays #xmas #analysis #long post #reviews #Good Stuff

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yan-twst · 4 years ago

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Omg i loveee your Yandere headcanons! May i request some general yandere relationship headcanons for the Vice dorm leaders? Sfw and nsfw for the 3rd year ones(Trey , Lilia and Rook)? ✧\(>o

warning: general yandere content, nsfw under cut (contains dubcon [although it’s not heavily implied nor explored, and it’s never stated that consent was not given, it’s still uh... yan nsfw so it is what it is], mentions of drugs)

trey clover

already written! can be found here: [link]

ruggie bucchi

ruggie is greedy with his darling

it’s just, he rarely gets to have things for himself- he’s so used to having to scrounge up scraps, to hand-me-downs, that finally having something (or someone) that’s entirely his just... drives him a bit nuts

if his darling is weak and docile, ruggie will take on a more dominating role, but if they’re more feisty and confident, ruggie can also be incredibly desperate and almost... meek? male hyenas are naturally submissive in nature; if his darling can activate that natural instinct in him, he’ll melt like putty in their hands

hyenas will break even the bones for sustenance; ruggie has no trouble getting his hands dirty if it’s for his darling, and that’s part of what makes him so terrifying. violence? underhanded methods? please, that’s child’s play for a slum cat like him, really

despite usually being quite careful with his money, ruggie will dote and try to spoil his darling as much as he can. he sees this as the ultimate form of affection- money is hard to come by, so spending it on gifts for his darling... well, that’s gotta be the most romantic thing, right?

as much as he likes to play rough from time to time, he’s also a sucker for spending quiet moments with his darling, especially when he’s tired after work. if his darling acts nice, he’ll be sweet as sugar (with some teasing here and there, of course); make him angry, and they better be ready to have a “little accident” that may leave them bedridden for a few weeks...

jade leech

people are usually less scared of jade than they are of floyd- which really isn’t of much use. jade is equally, if not more sadistic than his twin; he just hides it better. and that’s dangerous

sure, he might not be azul and can’t trick his darling into signing their freedom and life away, but he can still keep them where he wants them. pressing their deepest fears and insecurities out of them isn’t a struggle- and he knows just how to use that info to his favour

jade will be very careful on how he approaches the ordeal of breaking his darling into being perfectly docile and calm at his side. he’ll get them to associate pain and coldness with the outside, and he’ll mark himself as comfort, warmth, everything good.

this isn’t to say he won’t be rough. far from it, really. jade may act like a gentleman, but it’s absolutely clear he finds entertainment in punishing his darling

and yet, he’s there to comfort them the second it’s over: oh, poor thing, they’re crying... did it hurt? oh, it must have, hm? would they like a cold compress? he’d hate for their skin to bruise... perhaps some balms? there, he’ll run a warm bath for them- let him escort them to the bathroom. they wouldn’t be thinking of trying to run away after this, would they?

even if his darling is dead-set on trying to escape and hating him, this is something that he will win no matter what. the mind can be bent and manipulated: and over time, his darling will realize (to their horror), that anxiety begins to build when jade’s away, that they only feel truly safe in his arms...

jamil viper

jamil’s whole life has been giving. give the asim family his services, give his parents the assurance he’d do as he was asked, give kalim the spotlight, give, give, give. so when jamil can finally take, he makes sure that what he wants is truly his

with his unique magic, it’s really no hassle to just take his darling and lock them up wherever with no hassle, but... that’s almost too easy. he knows best that the most satisfying results come after hard work

jamil revels in earning his darling’s trust. oh, so naive, to befriend him so easily. don’t they find it suspicious how he’s usually so abrasive to other people, but so nice to them? do they really think everyone who approaches them has good intentions?

getting close to his darling also means separating them from others. he has no qualms in using his magic to stir up conflict- how weird, that all of his darling’s friends suddenly had a big fallout that nobody can seem to find the cause of, huh? well, at least he’s still there, right? he’s their only real friend it seems!

he’s fantasized about kalim’s betrayed and crushed face for years when he finally revealed his hatred- of course, that was... a bit ruined, since he overblotted and all. but it’s equally as delicious to see his darling’s horrified and betrayed face once he shows his true colors, once they can’t run away

jamil has no issue in keeping his darling under snake’s whisper for long periods of time. he’s incredibly talented, after all. however, he won’t keep it on always: he does want them to stop trying to escape even when they aren’t under his spell

his ultimate goal is for his darling to obey his every word without him even needing his spell. he does love them, after all: it just feels all that more genuine to receive a kiss from someone not being controlled by magic (even if they’re being driven by fear of punishment)

rook hunt

rook adores romance. he’s read poems about great men falling from their power because of their hearts, of longings so desperate the poets feel like they might really die of yearning- and to finally feel that himself... it’s so intoxicating, really. he understands now, how greedily the heart aches for the one it wants

he’ll take his sweet time. observing, watching his darling from a distance. rook sees beauty in boring, everyday things- his darling’s bedhead, the way they snuggle into pillows at night, how they twirl a pen in their hand when studying, the way they fold their clothes... he watches it all, and falls into obsession a bit more every time

rook might come off as a bit overwhelming at first, when he does approach his darling. he... seems to have very little shame and a lot of interest, but it’s charming, at first. he likes to snatch his darling away on romantic lunches, leaving them poems in their desk: it’s romantic at first. others see it as a very sweet move in rook’s part, even if it freaks his darling out quite a bit just... how much he seems to know about them

it isn’t surprising to anyone, but rook enjoys a good chase. when his darling is finally freaked out enough to try avoiding him and somehow he keeps showing up, when not even locking the doors seems to be enough, when they’re running and crying through a dark forest in some vague hopes of losing him, rook feels more alive than ever

he’ll keep his darling by his side, but he doesn’t mind letting them slip from time to time just to hunt them down. he sees it as fun, even if he might get angry if it’s a bit too much of a common occurrence. he loves his petit lapin, but they better not test him too much, hm?

lilia vanrouge

he’ll be quite playful at first, popping out from the ceiling upside down to scare his darling, telling them stories about baby silver and whatnot. but he’ll also make sure to make himself a reliable figure, someone they can turn to for advice and help

he’s so fun and looks so cute, his darling won’t even realize how he’s sneakily working behind the scenes. slowly isolated from their friends, being fed “advice” that simply drives them into his territory- lilia exells at doing all of this without his beloved even realizing he’s up to something

he’s patient- he’s lived for so long, charming his darling over months is absolutely nothing. before they’ve realized, their only companions are lilia and his trusted diasomnia members; and by then, it’s too late. lilia can snatch them up and do as he pleases: his dorm members might even aid him if he asks

he’s got a sadistic streak, so he’ll purposefully egg his darling to do things he’ll punish them for. lilia will let his darling think he missed locking the door, or accidentally left a weapon laying around- but of course it wasn’t an accident, and now he gets to punish them

at the same time, he’s got an oddly nurturing side to him. he can’t help but see his darling as a weak and adorable thing, compared to him: he’ll coo over them and hold them close, insisting on helping them with simple things. he’ll also try to force them into a parental role on his little makeshift family- but of course, they don’t get any of the responsibilities that come with it... it feels like playing house, almost: a horrible, painful game of house that never ends

NSFW (under cut)

trey clover

he isn’t very forceful, really. trey’s libido isn’t low by any means, but it’s not like, ridiculously high anyways. still, he has no trouble just jerking himself off right next to his darling in bed; well, if they don’t want to help, then they’ll have to watch.

still, he isn’t above slipping aphrodisiacs into food. it’s not even hard- doodle suit can cover up any bitter medicinal tastes, and he gets to have his darling melt into his touch and beg for him. yup, he adores that

he’s in charge, always. despite not really needing restraints or punishment to have his darling indulge him- really, he’s got them so... trained that his words are enough, he’s still very much so into tying them up

trey will degrade his darling when he’s in a bad mood and also horny. it’s a shocking change of pace: usually he’s all sweets and love, and then he’s growling into their ear how much of a whore they are, look, their body is basically trained to react to his touch, don’t they have any shame?

he might not be pushy when it comes to this sort of intimacy, something not all yanderes share, but that doesn’t mean he’s not rough when he does get to fuck his darling. he enjoys leaving marks all over them- also being marked up, too.

trey will make his darling beg. he knows damn well that this relationship isn’t normal, but fuck it, he can almost believe his darling is with him of their own accord when they beg for him to just please fuck them please, please- he doesn’t particularly mind it’s probably their mind turned to mush after hours of edging, or the aphrodisiac he put into their cookies

rook hunt

for all his creepy stalking and his obsession with his darling, sex with a very obsessed and protective rook is usually... romantic. soft, even. he’ll light candles and be gentle- romance, love... it’s almost like a scene taken right out of a cheesy adult romance novel. it’s romantic and thoughtful enough his darling can truly forget, for a second, he’s essentially their captor

well, it’s that way... for the most part

rile him up enough and he’ll snap. he cares for romance, yes, but do you know what he also cares for? fucking his darling in whatever piece of furniture because he’s at the end of his patience and they’re just so tempting

he’ll mess with love potions and aphrodisiacs, or any other spell he comes across with, but it’s not that common. he prefers to make his darling writhe under him without those things- it feels more like an achievement. feels more like love

it may seem uncharacteristic of a pomefiore student, but he’ll demand to have love bites or scratches left on him. he won’t even ask to cover his darling in hickeys. he sees it as part of the “natural beauty” he covets so much, evidence of love, affection... obsession

if he’s chasing down his darling, all that adrenaline will go straight to his cock once he’s finally caught them. he doesn’t particularly care it’s the middle of a dark forest- he really might just tear his darling’s clothes apart and take them right then, the adrenaline and rush from the chase driving him on

lilia vanrouge

yandere lilia nsfw headcanons were written already, can be found here: [link]

#yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #trey clover #ruggie bucchi #jade leech #rook hunt #lilia vanrouge #yandere #drugs ment #Anonymous

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crow-in-a-teapot · 4 years ago

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tower of nero spoilers

i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other people’s thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that ‘ton spoilers’ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i don’t want to hear, or essays that’ll make me upset, or things that’ll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).

i want to start with: i loved it. it didn’t feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i don’t know. he didn’t wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ‘nineteen years later’, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.

the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadn’t been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.

but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks he’s going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable.

Leader Guy spat. ‘Now, I kill you.’

He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands.

Standing behind him, his hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.

and

Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour.

I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.

gods. poetic brilliance. i can’t believe i’m still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)

from here i’m not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except it’ll be more difficult than my tyrant’s tomb reaction because i wasn’t reading on a kindle and thus can’t just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so i’ll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (i’m not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)

i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that he’ll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.

that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this i’m too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Meg’s feelings rather than - oh, I don’t know - refusing to do Nero’s dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors.

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.

the parallels to meg and lester heading to percy’s apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how he’s changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didn’t seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.

also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A ‘good cop’ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.

the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? i’m not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part -

‘He will crush our eye,’ Anger cried, ‘if we don’t recite our verses!’

‘I will not!’

‘We will all die!’ Wasp said. ‘He is crazy!’

‘I AM NOT!’

‘Fine, you win!’ Tempest howled.

also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasn’t expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.

Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, he’d been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.

...

In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.

every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; we’ll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead.

He didn’t look angry exactly. He looked as if he’d been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Meg’s as if he’d just remembered his own touch was poison.

ugh then will talking about how nico’s doing, confirming that he’s suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones aren’t, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that he’s okay and ‘with friends’ when he wakes up after shadow travel

will’s kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopard’s head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..

i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, she’s going to PARIS to study ART, she isn’t forced to be someone she’s not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.

i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jason’s funeral pyre, caligula’s ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~

‘And, hey, di Angelo -’ she pushed him playfully away from the canvas he’d been ogling - ‘don’t brush against the art! I don’t care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, you’ll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic you’ve got going.’

i. love. rachel.

WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOU’D SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING

I AM OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isn’t ♫ good for your mental health ♫ but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??

yeah, i’m also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, it’s funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and that’s not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort character’s and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. i’m pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apollo’s dreams, and this time the tears weren’t from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)

‘All right, Jason. We miss you, though.’

ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINK ‘BUT IF A HERO ISN’T READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?’ A KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, he’s supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,

as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: ‘thinking about how ghost! Jason didn’t seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because he’s been raised to believe a hero’s sacrifice is noble and his life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesn’t understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesn’t even realize his other friends are grieving him..’

IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??

the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.

him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'

OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ

okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.

i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.

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skullsandwineglasses · 3 years ago

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Remembrance of Things Past - Eps 1-10 Impression/Rant

Not really a first impressions post since there are only 2 episodes left, but as I’m waiting on the last few episodes, I thought I’d rant a bit about the drama here.

First of all, I agree with everything that AvenueX said in her review of the first 6 episodes. Her review is what prompted me to start the drama. I needed a realistic slice of life drama to balance out the idol drama that is You Are My Glory (which I’m also waiting on for new episodes), and ROTP seemed to fit bill. ROTP is just so good.

I binged ROTP in 3 days. It could have been 2 days, but I started it at 2am on a Wednesday night, so I didn’t get very far the first night. Each episode is about 75 minutes long, so almost the equivalent of 2 regular lengthed episodes, but not quite.

I cried during the first two episodes. The character development is just phenomenal. You really feel for Jing Jing’s character even though you’ve only seen her character for an hour. There are little moments throughout the drama that made me tear up too, like when the girls were celebrating Nan Jia jie’s 36th birthday and I got emotional over how close their bond is, or moments when the girls reflected on their aging parents and how we often take our parents for granted.

Plot pacing and structure

The plot is tight and well-paced, and each girl’s storyline is interwoven well. Sometimes they’d cut between simultaneous scenes between the girls to compare and contrast what they’re each going through. For instance, when Xu Yan is having an argument with her boyfriend, the drama will also cut and flip back and forth to Qiao Xi Chen going through problems at her workplace. When Xu Yan makes up with her boyfriend, the drama cuts to QXC and Nan Jia being romantically pursued by Jian Yi Fan and Ou Yang. It’s interesting to see how their lives mirror and differ from each other.

Because the storylines between the girls are so interwoven and keep flipping back and forth between each other, it makes it hard to skip scenes because you can’t just skip an entire segment or else you’ll miss something important in all 3 storylines. I can see that this might be a little annoying if you have a preference for one of the girls and want to skip someone else’s storyline. But I actually like seeing all 3 of their stories play out, so I’m not bothered by it.

Another aspect about the plot’s structure that I appreciate is how they use the mystery behind Jing Jing’s suicide as a throughline for the drama. Up until episode 8ish(?), each episode ends with a question about Jing Jing’s life prior to her suicide and the next episode opens with the girls trying to find an answer or a clue to it. The girls and we the audience learn more and more about Jing Jing with each episode. However, episodes 9 and 10 deviate from the structure a bit and so the drama has recently been less and less focused on Jing Jing’s story, especially after they found out that she had depression. The drama seems to imply that her depression due to the stress of living in Beijing was the main factor that led to her suicide, while the successive unfortunate events that happened on her birthday was the trigger.

Characters

I like all the main characters in the drama, albeit some a little more than others, which I’ll explain. I think the 3 male love interests are a little too perfect though, and so I guess this slice of life drama is actually a little idealistic after all.

Xu Yan - My least favourite of the four girls. She’s materialistic, but not as spoiled as I though she would be. But it does annoy me how she keeps picking fights with Shen Zi Chang, when he’s just trying his best. He’s so tolerant and patient with her. He apologizes, they make up, and then the cycle repeats. It’s just a very unhealthy relationship, and I’m tried of seeing them fight and make up.

EDIT: So, I started writing this review when I had only watched up until episode 9, but now that I’ve finished episode 10, um, wtf?? Xu Yan made a bad choice and got scammed of all her money, her friends try to comfort her, loan her money, and tell her not to repress her emotions like Jing Jing. And then she just lashes out at them saying they have no right to comfort her because they were the ones who caused Jing Jing’s death. Xu Yan starts off blaming QXC for not knowing that Jing Jing had a crush on her boyfriend, and then she blames Nan Jia for being a bad older cousin. She blames both of them for being ignorant of Jing Jing’s depression and only caring about themselves. QXC (rightfully) retorts back than Xu Yan knew all along that Jing Jing had a crush on her boyfriend, and yet Xu Yan never told anyone, so she’s just as guilty as all of them. Honestly, I was sympathetic towards Xu Yan before, but she was just so ungrateful and entitled in that scene. What right does she have pointing fingers and assigning guilt to people? And to weaponize Jing Jing’s death against them? That’s just cruel. The argument between them in that scene at the end of episode 10 just felt so random and out of place. All of a sudden, Xu Yan points out all of these problems she has with QXC and Nan Jia, when all they’ve ever done is pamper her. Also, you can’t blame QXC for dating Lin Rui even if Jing Jing liked him first, and not to mention that QXC wasn’t even aware. QXC might not have even chosen to date Lin Rui if she had known. But it happens all the time between friends where your friend might date someone you like. All’s fair in love and war, and there’s no first come first serve rule when it comes to dating.

Jing Jing - She becomes more complex as you learn more about her. She puts her friends first and is fiercely supportive and protective of them. We get a glimpse of how far she’s willing to go for them she pulls a butcher knife from the kitchen and points it at QXC’s debt collectors in the first episode. Her friends see her as being really open, expressive, and bubbly. She’s the first one they each go to whenever they need help with a problem or want to show off an achievement. But in reality, she’s really secretive. She hides her feelings to keep her friends happy, and when they slowly uncover her secrets, she becomes less and less recognizable to them, as though she’s been living a double life all along.

At the end of episode 10, Jing Jing is described as the “hole in the tree” that everyone goes to to share their secrets, but they forget that she’s also a person with her own secrets to share, and she’s not just a tree hole to serve others. Can we blame the friends for not paying enough attention to Jing Jing and only using her for emotional support? Yes and no. It’s complicated. We should always do more to try to care for others and to be more attentive to them, but at the same time, it’s impossible to completely know a person. I purposely hide parts of my life from my friends because I don’t want them worrying or judging or commenting. So I would never expect them to be able to figure it out, and neither do I want them to figure it out. I think it’s interesting that the drama is exploring the friends’ self-imposed guilt, but I don’t agree that Xu Yan should be the one to point it out them and to be Jing Jing’s spokesperson. Xu Yan positions herself as Jing Jing’s heroic and righteous advocator, when really Xu Yan is the most problematic person out of the three remaining friends.

Also, after seeing how the friends interact, they don’t feel narcissistic. Yes, they each readily vent about their problems to each other, but they also ask about the other person. It’s not one-sided. Xu Yan talks about her problems with her boyfriend, but she also asks and cares about what’s happening in QXC’s life and vice versa. Nan Jia is more mature and is busy with her business, but she always takes the time and effort to help her friends. All of their conversations are reciprocal and they are genuinely interested in each other’s lives. So, I don’t think they have a major communication problem or that they don’t care or that they’re ignorant. Which again, makes Xu Yan’s accusations in episode 10 feel even more unfair.

Ji Nan Jia - Jing Jing’s cousin and also the oldest of the three girls (about a decade older). Sassy, witty, unapologetic, confident. She’s who you’d think of when you imagine a successful, independent, career-driven woman. She’s extremely annoyed by her mother’s nagging to get married. But she herself is trying to figure out whether she actually wants to find someone to settle down with or if she just wants to beat her biological clock and have children while she still can. She’s pursued by Ou Yang, ten years her junior, and he’s absolutely enamoured with her. He seems to be unconditionally in love with her, which is what I meant when I said that the male leads in this drama seem too perfect and idealistic. But I like Ou Yang though. He’s adorable.

Qiao Xi Chen - The main character of the four main characters. Like Nan Jia, she’s also quite sassy. In some ways, she’s like a younger version of Nan Jia. QXC is also very career driven and competitive. She’s confident and believes in her abilities, but she also gets easily overwhelmed and emotional (like when her stress and nervousness prevented her from being able to give her proposal presentation and she ran out of the room. I’ve definitely felt that way before my committee meetings). QXC is a character you can self-insert as because she represents the everyday employee who struggles with the long commute to work and tries to stand out and make a name for herself in the company. QXC is also extremely paranoid, which is understandable when you’re a woman living alone in the city. I know what it’s like to have to briskly walk home late at night and constantly having to look over your shoulder to make sure no one’s following you, or having to check your hotel room before you change, or having to make it seem like you’re not the only one living in your apartment. QXC is smart, logical, helps people when she can, but is also reasonably selfish when she needs to protect herself, like when her co-workers try to take advantage of her or throw her under the bus. She’s a character everyone can relate to.

She and Jian Yi Fan also make such a cute pairing. I love all their interactions. I love how Jian Yi Fan can’t help but smile when he’s with her, but he tries hard to clamp it down. I love how QXC is aware of her own attraction and easily admits to to Xu Yan that she does have feelings for him instead of beating around the bush. And I especially love the awkward but adorable confession scene in episode 8. Such great banter and play on words (”你是什麼意思” “沒意思” “你對我是不是有意思?”). The drama did a great job of depicting the frustration of trying to guess whether someone likes you when they seem to be sending mixed signals. A lot of dramas that don’t focus on romance seem to do a better job of showing romance than idol dramas that focus on nothing but romance. I grew up with TVB dramas, and in most of them, romance is usually secondary to the main plot, but I always loved the romances in those dramas.

Like Ou Yang, JYF is such an idealistic love interest. He’s so supportive of and attentive to QXC. I haven’t watched too many slice of life dramas, but To Dear Myself and My Best Friend’s Story both had flawed (and sometimes even irredeemable) male love interests. This drama’s rose-coloured glasses definitely reduces the amount of performative angst, but it also makes the drama a little less realistic. The men in Jing Jing’s life aren’t villainized either even when you expected them to be sinister. I think the most antagonistic character is Lin Rui, but even he’s made to be sympathetic. In fact, nearly all the characters in the drama are sympathetic characters because many of the choices they made were forced because of the situation they found themselves in, and what they did was an act of self-preservation. And so, you can’t hate them or blame them.

Acting and Dialogue

I mean, what’s there to say? The acting and dialogue just sucks you right in. I love it so much. The characters are so animated and charming because of how well the actors delivered their lines. I’m not a mandarin speaker (I’m a cantonese speaker but learned mandarin afterwards), but even I was able to notice the colloquialism and slangs and idiosyncratic ticks in speech that made the dialogue feel so real and alive. The actors had great comedic timing, and when they cried, you could feel how vulnerable they are.

Lastly, I also like the little “life lessons” they include at the end of the drama where there’d be a voiceover by one of the actresses and they’d muse about life. One of my favourite musings when when they talked about what it means to have a sense of security. For some people, having a sense of security is about having a certain amount of money in your bank account, or having someone waiting for you to come home, but a sense of security isn’t something tangible or physical that you can achieve or possess. It’s a belief. It’s a belief that you’re able to face any problem and that life will go on. It’s a belief that the one that you love will be faithful and supportive. It’s a type of belief that allows you to be confident to face uncertainty. And thus, a sense of security is something that only you can give yourself. I really like that little food for thought because it’s a great reminder to be self-dependent and to not rely on external gratification. Que sera sera. What will be will be. Don’t get too hung over on failure and don’t let stress dominate your life.

Note: Watching this at the same time as You Are My Glory is extremely humbling. YAMG is an idol drama, and so they make the romance look so easy. Heck, idol dramas make being a protagonist easy. The protagonist is destined to stand out from the crowd. It’s easy to be noticed. It’s easy to cause a change in the status quo. But ROTP is a reminder that we’re all practically nobodies in the big city. It feels impossible to make an impression when there are millions of other people living almost the same life as you are. There’s nothing special about you, and it’s hard to find meaning and purpose. Obviously, the drama shows that even when it feels like you’re trying to swim upstream in a big city, we each have a life worth living. We may feel insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but to our friends and family, we’re their world and they’re ours. I think it was Camus who said that we should find meaning in the face of absurdity. Live in spite of how absurd and meaningless things feels. Anyway, this drama gives you a lot to think about, even though I don’t really like the melodrama they’ve recently added to drag the plot (*cough cough* that explosive argument scene at the end of episode 10 that I keep ranting about). You’d think that a 12-episode drama wouldn’t have filler, and yet here we are.

#我在他乡挺好的 #remembrance of things past #cdrama #zhou yu tong #bai yu fan #cdrama review #jolin jin #ren su xi

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wlntrsldler · 4 years ago

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She (Bucky Barnes Falling Series)

PROMPT: Bucky has been distant lately. Y/N doesn’t know why.

WARNING: ANGST, fluff, dad!Bucky, Uncle/Aunt Avengers. Tony, Steve and Nat are alive and well.

A/N: LAST PART OF THE FALLING SERIES! i hope you enjoy.

FALLING | FINE LINE | SHE

SERIES MASTERLIST

“He would’ve been so excited.” You turned to your side to see Steve, smiling down at the stomach you were rubbing. “He would’ve been a great dad, Y/N.”

“I know.”

The two of you looked out to the lake, watching Tony and Pepper attempt to fish. The couple had taken you in after finding out you were pregnant.

Steve was the one who comforted you through your emotions. You spent weeks in the tower with all of them, sleeping in Bucky’s old room. Although he moved out months before that to live with you, they kept the room for Bucky just in case he had to stay in overnight for some missions. The room still smelled like him. There was a photo of the two of you standing proudly on his night stand.

“He wanted to make sure you were the first thing he saw in the morning,” Steve would tease. You would stare at that photo, hugging Bucky’s pillow tightly against your chest, with tears streaming down your face, every night until you fell asleep.

And now here you were, 7 months pregnant, with the baby you were meant to raise with the love of your life. You occupied the guest bedroom of the Starks’ lake house, where Steve would periodically visit you to check in on the pregnancy. It was his godchild after all. You two would sit on the patio for the two hours he would come to visit, sharing your Bucky anecdotes with one another and laughing at the stories. By the end of the visit, you two would just look at each other, not saying a word, but you both knew what the other was trying to say. You both lost a part of you after the snap. Bucky took that piece with him.

“Stephanie Natalia Barnes,” You scolded, entering your daughter’s bedroom in the compound. You moved into the compound after Tony suggested that keeping the family close and together is the most important thing during this time. You agreed. “Why did your Aunt Pepper just tell me that Morgan said you hit another classmate?”

Your daughter dropped her toys and walked over to you, head hanging low in shame. She clung onto your leg, hugging it tightly. “He was being mean, mommy.”

You sighed, crouching down to be eye-level with her. She looked at you, tears forming in her blue eyes. You melted, instantly engulfing her in an embrace. You rubbed on her back softly, comforting her as she cried. “That doesn’t mean we resort to violence, sweetie.”

“He made fun of me for not having a papa.”

Your heart broke at your daughter’s words. She was too young to understand what happened a few years ago. She wasn’t around when it happened. She didn’t know of the world that used to be, only the world now. She never got to know Bucky. All she knows is how he looked in pictures, and even those were scarce.

Steve would come around with some pictures of Bucky before the war but most of their photographs were gone and the ones he had were old and not well preserved. You had a few more recent ones on your phone to show Stephanie. She loved seeing Bucky and making up stories about how she and her father would be best friends. She had a theory that Bucky would let her go to the park everyday and eat ice cream for dinner, things that you wouldn’t let her do. You would just laugh because you actually saw that happening. Bucky would be a sucker for Stephanie, you knew that well.

She requested for Bucky’s picture to be placed by her bed so she could kiss it goodnight after you tucked her in. “Papa needs to have sweet dreams too, mommy,” she would always say.

Stephanie was connected to Bucky, even if she never met him. It hurt your heart to think about your daughter having to grow up without knowing the most amazing man.

“You do have a papa.” You replied, hugging her tighter. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, okay?”

“But how come Morgan gets to play with her dad?” She asked, pulling away from you to have the conversation. She wiped her runny nose on the back of her arm and sat criss-cross in front of you. “They play sledding with Uncle Steve’s shield and he picks her up from school with Aunt Pepper. How come my papa can't do that?”

“He’s not around anymore, baby.” You explained, tears streaming down your face. “Remember how I told you about the snap? When people disappeared? Your papa was one of them.”

“Well, we need to find him, mommy.” Stephanie ordered, getting up from her seat. “Uncle Steve, Auntie Nat, and Uncle Tony are superheroes, right? They can find papa.”

Stephanie grew close to the rest of the team, going so far as calling them auntie and uncle. She was especially close to the two people she was named after, Nat and Steve. They loved her so much. Stephanie had a bubbly personality, ready and excited to meet new people and form new bonds. Steve was in awe of her natural leadership. She’s the type that commands a room to pay attention to her. Her and Morgan were a force to be reckoned with, teachers often having to separate them because of the powerhouse that they were when they’re together. The two girls often spent their time with Nat. She spoiled them rotten.

She looked a lot like Bucky- beautiful blue eyes, dark hair, and a smile that could light up a room. Tony started calling her “Mini Bucky,” as an attempt to keep Bucky’s memory alive. It worked well. Your daughter took on the role of her dad’s junior seriously.

Oftentimes she would bother you or Steve asking which one of the outfits she picked out for school would be something Bucky would wear. Neither of you had the heart to tell her that Bucky never wore purple, glittery t-shirts or pink tutus so you just said, “You should wear what makes you happy, sweetie,” every time she asked.

Before you could reply to your strong-willed daughter, she was running out of the room. She ran to the common area where the Avengers were sitting around, pointing at various whiteboards, in the midst of what seemed like an important discussion.

“Uncle Steve!” Stephanie called, charging towards the blond super-soldier. “Uncle Steve!”

He chuckled, picking her up and propping her on his lap. “Hey sweetie, what’s up?”

“I was just telling mommy how you and Auntie Nat and Uncle Tony can find my papa because you guys are superheroes.” She beamed, confidence dripping from her words.

“Sorry for disrupting you guys,” You excused yourself, standing by the doorway. “Stephanie, come on. They’re busy right now, sweetheart.”

“Actually, Y/N,” Tony started. turning his chair around to face you. “Mini Bucky is right, we can find her papa.”

You felt your throat get caught in your throat. Did you hear him correctly? Your eyes shifted to the projector in the corner of the room, where photos of the fallen were being shown. Bucky’s picture flashed for a brief second, the ache in your heart growing. It’s been five years without his touch, his kiss, him. You stood there, in shock, absolutely speechless. A big part of you had moved on from hope, accepting the fact that Bucky was gone. But there was a part of you that never lost hope.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by your daughter’s cheering, already running towards you. “Mommy! Did you hear that? Papa’s coming home!”

You looked at Tony, mouth agape but you were still unable to talk. You picked your daughter up, holding her close to your chest. “Tony, what?”

Tony introduced you to Scott and they explained the entire situation to you. Truth be told, you were confused, a lot of the terms they used went way over your head. You just nodded as they spoke, putting your absolute trust in the hands of the Avengers. You had to believe that they could bring everyone back. They can bring Bucky back.

As the days continued, the rest of the team started arriving to the compound. Morgan and Stephanie rushed to Bruce and Thor once they arrived, each girl taking turns being in the arms of the uncles they don’t see as often.

“Lady Y/N,” Thor called, walking over to you with a genuine smile on his face. “Stephanie has gotten bigger since I last saw her.”

“She has,” You laughed, staring off in the distance where she and Morgan were playing with Rhodey. “She’s been asking me where Uncle Thor was. She missed your visits.”

“I know, I missed her and Morgan too.” He confessed, looking down at his stomach. He cringed knowing that he let himself go after he lost hope and lost everyone. “Been a hard few years for me.”

You placed a comforting hand on his back, “Me too. I get it.”

“We will bring your lover back, Y/N.” Thor declared, looking at you in the eye. “Stephanie will meet her father. I’ll make sure of it.”

You just smiled at him, feeling a sense of comfort from his words. You knew he meant it. You gave him a quick hug before making your way inside the compound to pack your bags. Tony wanted you and Pepper to take the girls to his lake house, far away from the compound while they went off in their mission. He wanted you all safe and away from danger.

You walked into your daughter’s room, starting to dig through her closet for some clothes to take. You quietly folded her pajamas, stuffing it in her pink suitcase, with the faint sounds of their giggling outside. Your eyes darted to the framed photo of Bucky beside Stephanie’s bed. You walked over and held the picture in your hands.

There was a chance that Bucky could come back and for you to live out the life you’ve always dreamt with each other. You could have a happy, complete, family, filled with love and comfort. You’d have your Bucky and your Stephanie and life would be so, so good. You had faith in the team, you knew they would do anything and everything in their power to bring everyone back home. You started to cry, overwhelmed with the idea of finally getting what you’ve dreamt off for the past 5 years.

“Mommy?” You turned around and saw Stephanie standing by the doorframe, worry spread across her face. She carefully walked towards you, lip quivering as she saw the tears streaming down your face. “Why are you upset?”

“‘M not upset, sweetheart.”

She climbed up her bed to get eye level with you. “Then why are you crying?”

“I’m crying because I love you and you papa so much.”

“Oh,” She said, emotions quickly changing. “You get to tell him you love him soon, mommy!”

You let out a wet chuckle, not being able to hold in your emotions any longer. “Yeah, baby. Hopefully.”

“Y/N,” Tony knocked on the door of the lake house. He entered the eerily quiet room, finding you and Stephanie asleep on the couch. “Y/N, wake up.”

You felt yourself being shook slightly. You stirred in your sleep, eyes fluttering open. You saw Tony leaned over the couch. “What are you doing back?”

It’s been a few months since they dropped you off at the lake house. Morgan was picked up by Pepper’s family a week ago after she decided that she wanted to help Tony manage everything. It was just you and Stephanie in the lonely cabin. You got an update call from the team once in a while but you knew they were busy so you didn’t bother them by calling first. You were out of the loop so seeing Tony made your heart race.

You glanced at the clock. 2:17 AM. You knew Stephanie would be cranky if you woke her up now but Tony was back which only meant one of two things- either they lost and he’s there to bring upon bad news or they won and Bucky was back. Judging by the monotone look on his face, your heart sunk to your stomach.

“Wake your little one up.”

You gulped, afraid of the next words to leave Tony’s mouth. You just built up hope for yourself- for Bucky and for Stephanie. You weren’t ready to lose that shred of hope. Hesitantly, you nodded and started to wake Stephanie up. She groaned in her sleep and dug her head deeper into your chest. “Steph, honey, wake up. Uncle Tony is back.”

“Uncle Tony?” She whispered, rubbing her eyes. Her tired face vanished after seeing her Uncle next to her. “Is papa with you? Did you find him?”

“Why don’t you go look for yourself?”

Stephanie took Tony’s outstretched hand and intertwined her fingers with his. You slipped on your house slippers and followed the two into the darkness of the forestry. There were three figures illuminated by the dim headlights of the car. You almost couldn’t make it out until you saw the shimmer of black metal in the light. Is that really him?

“Buck?” You whispered, voice shaking as you approached. “Bucky, is that you?”

“Y/N.”

You fell to your knees before you reached him, breaking down into tears. It’s him. It’s really him. Stephanie turned around after hearing you fall. She let go of Tony’s hand and ran over to you, concerned. She wrapped her little arms around you, mumbling, “Mommy, please don’t cry.”

You heard the leaves rustling from beneath your feet. Then, a pair of strong arms engulfed you both in a tight embrace. A familiar scent filled your nose and you sobbed even harder. “Y/N, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

Tony, Steve and Nat looked at you three and held back their own tears. They knew it would be a beautiful moment, but they didn’t expect it to be like this. The surroundings were quiet, the only things audible were the sounds of crunchy leaves, the swishing of the water, and the silent cries from you and Bucky.

You pulled back a bit to look at Bucky’s face. You leaned over to touch his cheek, gasping for air when you actually felt him on the palm of your hand. He rubbed against it, turning his head to give it a quick kiss. His cheeks were damp from his own tears and he laughed upon seeing you in utter disbelief.

“Hi, papa.”

His eyes disconnected from yours after the little voice emerged from under him. Bucky smiled widely, tears spilling from his eyes once again. He tucked a piece of Stephanie’s hair behind her ear using his metal hand. She grabbed it and placed her tiny hand in the midst of it, drawing figure eights. “Hi, sweetheart. So nice to meet you.”

“I talked to you everyday.” Stephanie announced proudly, beaming up at Bucky. “Before I went to sleep, I talked to you about my day. Do you remember that papa?”

“No, I don’t, sweetheart.” Bucky said breathlessly, looking at you in adoration as if saying, ‘Did we really make her?’ “You need to tell me again.”

“Okay.” She replied, cuddling into Bucky’s side. “I can’t wait to show everyone my papa.”

“Steph,” Steve called, slowly walking up to the three of you. “Let’s give your Mommy and your Papa some time.”

“M’kay,” She muttered, getting up from the floor. She intertwined her fingers with Steve and they walked over to Tony and Nat. “But I get to tell papa all about my day afterwards, okay Uncle Steve? I’m so excited to talk to him.”

Once she left, Bucky took your hands in his and helped you up. You connected your foreheads, breathing each other in. It was real. He was really there in front of you. “Bucky…”

“Hey, love.” He smiled, nose nudging yours. His lips brushed past yours, testing the waters. You responded by locking your lips with his. Your lips moved in sync, arms wrapping themselves around his neck. God, you missed him. You pulled away, out of breath, after a few minutes of kissing. You closed your eyes, not believing the fact that he was really there. As if he read your mind he whispered, “Open your eyes, my love. I’m right here.”

“Papa! Papa, look!” Stephanie came running in the living room, waving a piece of paper around. “Look, I drew our family for school!”

Bucky emerged from the kitchen, taking a look at the paper she was showing him. He picked her up and she immediately fit her head in the crook of his neck. He grinned, staring at the picture. It was a drawing of him, metal arm and all, you, herself, and a little boy. Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, “Bubba, who’s the boy?”

“Oh, it’s my baby brother.” She replied nonchalantly, like it was a known fact.

His eyes widened in surprise. He had only been back for a few months, he didn’t even think about expanding his family. Of course he wanted to but he didn’t know if it was something that you were even considering. “You don’t have a baby brother.”

She motioned for Bucky to put her down. Once he did, she looked up at him, responding to his question. “No, not yet. But I want one.”

Stephanie walked away from him, happily skipping away to her playroom.

“Huh,” Bucky mumbled, lips twitching up to a smile. He found a magnet and placed the drawing on the center of the fridge. He continued to make dinner, waiting for you to come home from work.

After an hour, he heard the door unlock and your heels clicking against the floor. You popped your head in the kitchen, greeted by a happy Bucky with an apron on. “Honey, I’m home.”

He placed his apron on the counter and walked over to you. He wrapped his arms around you, giving you a sloppy kiss on the cheek. You hummed in response, enjoying the way his body heat warmed you up. You turned to look at the food being prepared, eyes trailing over to the picture on the fridge. “What’s that?”

Bucky placed loving kisses on your neck. “Steph drew a picture of our family for school today.”

“Who’s the little boy?”

“Her baby brother, she said.”

You pulled away from Bucky for a second, looking at his dead in the eye. He had a boyish grin on his face, lopsided and toothy. There was a glimmer in his eye. You cocked an eyebrow, “Barnes, do you wanna have another?”

He nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah, I do, babe. I get if you don’t want to have another one yet but I’ve always wanted a big family. And a family with you is the best thing in the world.”

You untangled from him and walked over to your purse, placed next to his discarded apron. You quickly scrolled through your contacts and called Steve. You waited a few moments before he picked up, “Hey, Steve.”

Bucky mouthed, “What are you doing?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks for asking.” You ignored him, continuing your conversation with Steve. “Listen, can Steph spend the night with you tonight? Yeah? Great. Yeah, she’ll be ready in an hour. Okay, thanks, Bye, see you soon.”

Bucky walked over to you, confused, “What the hell was that about?”

“I’m not gonna emotionally scar our daughter so Steve is taking her for the night.” You giggled, wrapping your arms around his torso. “Let’s make another one.”

His entire face lit up and he picked you up, spinning you around in circles. You squealed in excitement, being a little too loud. Stephanie entered the kitchen, staring at her parents.

“Are you okay, mommy?”

Bucky put you down and you both stared at your beautiful daughter. As if on cue, you both scooped her up in your arms, telling her how she’ll be spending the night with her Uncle Steve and reminding her that you loved her.

Needless to say, you definitely had to remind her of your love more once her beloved little brother came in the picture and started to take up a lot of your time. But of course, she loved her brother almost as much as you and Bucky did. Little Anthony Samuel Barnes, the second addition to the Barnes family.

MAIN MASTERLIST

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shhhlikeme · 4 years ago

Text

“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #11:

———————————

A/N: welcome to the final post tonight!!!!!! Thanks for staying for this marathon everybody🥱🖤 I told y’all to get ready right? Lehgo:

TABLE OF CONTENTS

———————————

A 1-Year Anniversary For The Books 😳....🎡❄️🌃

over the next 6 months, you and Aone have had a remarkable relationship 💗

He’s beyond caring, attentive and sweet to you: even when you are moody on your period and dont want to talk to him he would drop off a basket at your house filled with a heating pad, your favourite treats, DVDs of your favourite movies and a note that explained how he felt about you

Your sex life was amazing, sex was insanely passionate and few and far between because you were both busy + Aone wanted you to know he wasn’t here for sex, though he loved it, of course

Takanobu listened to every story of yours, filled in at your cheer practices when you needed him, brought your team to competitions whenever some people didn’t have rides, and he attended the popular kids parties with you and let you do your own thing...

In addition, of course he was the best tutor you’ve ever had, letting you know before you started that you weren’t allowed to mess with his hormones to get out of it:

“Y/N. we have to study. No seduction tricks. They’re not fair.”

“Okay—!” You smiled.

“No cute-duction tricks either.”

You pouted.

“Want me to leave?” He asked, getting bold because he knew you were getting clingy, and even though he’d love to be balls deep between your heavenly legs, School came first. He needed you to graduate with him. It wasn’t an option.

“No no no baby please I’m sorry.” You pleaded.

He kissed your cheek. “Good.”

you attended baby’s intense volleyball games, so you saw his losses and it broke your heart

But you knew just how to comfort him: have him lay his head on you as you stroked his hair....give him lots of kisses and go to the pet store and spend hours the turtle section 💕

You got super close to his friends which was obviously incredible to Aone

And he’d been trying to get you to meet his family for a while, but you were too nervous

One day at the movies when Koganegawa was complaining yet again about how much his parents the other 2 members of the iron wall treated him like a baby, you interjected in the line for tickets. Aone had his arms around you from behind, making you feel safe

“Hey, wait a second. If Aone is ‘mom’ and Futakuchi is ‘dad,’ what does that make me???” You whined.

Kanji looked down at you like that was the most obvious question in the world. “You’re the hot side chick that Aone cheated on Futakuchi-senpai with.”

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me—“

“Wrong.” Aone stated, glaring at Kanji. “Don’t ever associate cheating with me and Y/N. I would NEVER.”

Futakuchi rolled his eyes. “We know. Learn to take a joke,”

You turned around in Aone’s arms and got on your toes straining for a kiss. Aone smiled and leaned down to press his lips on yours. He tried to pull away but you held onto the collar of his hoodie and pulled him down again, prohibiting him from ending the kiss.

“Y/N, you better keep the same energy.” Futakuchi mumbled under his breath, walking forward as the line moved. “If my best friend ends up heartbroken I know someone else’s Cheer captain best friend who can end up being hurt just as bad in return🙃..........” he sung.

Without breaking your fantastic kiss, you stuck out your foot in the direction you knew Kenji was walking, making him trip.

“Ouch, fuck! Why do you invite her, Aone-san?!”

You smiled into the kiss.

Tbh: your relationship was..........perfect💘

........too perfect, you sometimes thought.

It kept you up at night sometimes .... the fact that you couldn’t really pin point anything wrong with him , even months later

How is it possible that while all your friends went through trials and tribulations.....ups and downs in their relationships and crushes ... and weird squares (*cough cough* Kenji, Katana, Koganegawa, Kusa 🤧 *cough cough*....but that’s for another outtake time) while you didn’t have to endure anything

Aone was protecting you from going through any pain . Proving to you his worth

Your boyfriend surprised you everyday making you happier than the last

Not to mention you have an adoptive son named Perdu that you adore 🐢💚

But you couldn’t shake the feeling deep within that told you that you didn’t deserve this

Yes, you have come to love Aone with all of your heart—he is literally an angel

But that conversation that Aone was so reluctant to have 6 months ago about how much he pined after you........it really affected you in various ways....

For one thing, why did someone so beautiful and pure and perfect have to fall for someone like you?

You had faults. You didn’t even notice him for years while he suffered in silence in the background, for God’s sake

It was as if, only after he defended you against the Class Snitch and did something for you, that’s when you noticed him—and then he just jumped at the opportunity

You could’ve played him, used him, and you’re pretty sure that he would let you. 😞

He was Not realizing how selfish the whole thing seemed

And then there’s the whole fact that Aone has liked you for 2 years..... and no one else? Even when you didn’t notice him?

Yeah, you couldn’t even lie about that one to yourself. He really only liked you and only had eyes for you. Even though you hadn’t even known he was even an option for you.

It broke your heart—

Yes, you loved him now.

But that conversation 6 months ago...... it made you understand how much of an amazing, absolutely unbelievable human being he is, even before you two started dating = you haven’t been able to shake this feeling of unfairness....

The feeling that you do not deserve him

Maybe you wanted him for the sex that felt so good it made you cry every time?

Or all the things he does for you because he was so whipped?

Meanwhile he endured relentless cockteasing from you because he tried not to give into his urge so you wouldn’t think he wanted you for that ...always putting you first..... what hormonal male DOES that?

He’s perfect

But Maybe that was the big pull...you know?

perhaps it was just a pull and this isn’t how it is supposed to be

Aone deserves someone as amazing and selfless as him, no?

What if he deserved better? As long as you were in the way he’d only accept you and shut out any girl who could be even better for him.

A girl that wouldn’t have ignored him for 2 years .

When you started expressing your concerns, Katana, your best friend knew this point would come.

“Do not self destruct, Y/N. Just because you get scared when y’all are getting serious. That man is crazy about you.” Katana pleaded with you at your locker one day as you shuffled through your messy locker.

“I’m not self destructing, and I know he is..... but maybe that’s the problem? I get a perfect boyfriend and what does Aone get? I just hope that this is, a fair transaction in the Universe.....”

“You love that man too. I know you do! Besides, everyone can see the way his entire demeanour has lit up and changed since you two got together. He’s like a new person and it’s almost been a whole year.... look at him.”

You found your pencil case and closed your locker, looking over in the direction Katana called your attention to. Aone was talking to Koganegawa and Kusa, laughing loudly...something no one had ever seen him do a year before now. Your heart sunk because you were the cause of that happiness. He was a new man, and he was so happy to be with you. It made your heart hurt.

Aone glanced over in your direction just then, making eye contact with you and instantly smiling brightly. He said some form of goodbye to his friends like he always did when he spotted you, dropping everything to greet you and hold your books.

What made you so special... to deserve such a man?

If you asked Aone, he’d have a list of ways he could answer that question, but, for you, you forced yourself to believe he was just taken away with your looks....and that he just convinced himself he liked you deeper because of how pretty you were. He loves sex but tries not to have it, maybe it’s because you’d catch on to him being like every other guy that just wants you and the rest of the cheerleaders for your bodies? I mean, even his best friend Futakuchi is like that!

No, he was a terrible liar.

Aone is gorgeous, tall, muscular, handsome....... girl after girl check him out and want him. Maybe one of them deserved him more than you do....

Thoughts like that whirled through your mind all the time from summer to winter...

Tonight, on the night of your 1 year anniversary, it was no different. Aone had made it clear for months to his team that he wouldn’t be attending practice on this date

🥺

Instead, he treated you to a luxurious dinner on a yacht and then you both went one of the highest Ferris wheels in the world that gave a great view of the city night lights of Japan:

It was so romantic, and Aone was just the happiest man on earth holding you closer as you leaned into his side because you loved Ferris wheels but you were chilly in this temperature.

Your boyfriend pulled your hat down for you so it was covering your ears

He took your hands in his and blew hot air on them to keep you warm, spreading the heated blanket he’d bought so it covered more of you than him.

“Still cold? Want my jacket?”

“I’m good.” You grinned.

His heart warmed.

“Y/N.”

You looked up at your boyfriend, hearing the sudden change to seriousness in his tone. Aone sported that blush that he had the first time you’d kissed him on the cheek. He was still nervous around you even after an entire year and it had to do with his strong feelings of love toward you. He was sure they’d never go away.

Takanobu dug into his pocket and pulled out two small individually wrapped boxes. One square and one rectangular. The silver boxes were wrapped in little yellow bows, yellow-your favourite colour.

“More gifts, Aone?” You asked softly, you couldn’t help but frown. He was always spoiling you beyond belief. “You promised the dinner was your only gift,”

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “Happy 1-year anniversary. You make me so happy and I really hope you’ll be so kind as to bless me with more years.”

You took off your mittens and took the boxes from him, your stomach in knots the entire time.

You felt so different. Your heart hurt.

You placed the boxes in your lap and Aone tried not to smile. You delicately untied both bows, removing the lids before gasping.

“Aone..........” you said quietly. “Oh, Aone, they are beautiful.”

Mountain man smiled. “You don’t have to wear them.....I just really wanted to gift them to you because—“

You interrupted him. “You don’t think I’d wear them?” You asked, hurt. Hurt for him because you could tell that he still felt that you were too good to be true.

“Well the promise ring m-might be too flashy, or the turtle might be seen as a little juvenile by your teammates, so—“

That did it.

Your heart broke.

It couldn’t be any more clear now.

You didn’t deserve this man.

“Aone.” Your voice cracked as you spoke. You willed yourself not to cry.

But this time it wasn’t tears of joy that almost fell the day he confessed, these were the truest of all types tears..... tears of sorrow.

Aone leaned down and brushed your hair out of your face so he could see your face. “Y/N? What’s wrong? I-I can always return them if you don’t like them.... it-it’s not a problem in the slightest—“

“—We need to break up, Aone.”

Freezing, Takanobu thought he hadn’t heard that.

He paused for a good ten seconds.

“W-what?” He asked, his voice cracking.

You refused to look at him.

“I’m sorry.” Is all you could say without bursting into tears. “I can explain more on a later date, but I’ve thought about it for a while, and that’s my decision.”

Aone’s heart shattered, instantly feeling like the world had been turned upside down on him. I mean sure, Aone thought maybe one day you’d realize you deserved better—but that’s why he spent every day devoting his time to treating you well so maybe you’d choose him.

He guessed he hadn’t been trying hard enough.

“I-is it something I did?” He took a deep breath. “Something I can change? Please,”

You shook your head, feeling the cold breeze of this winter night in your core. “Nothing you did. You’re amazing, Aone-san.“

“The-Then can you please reconsider—“

“No,” you choked. “Can we get off now? Please?”

Always listening to you, Aone shakingly pressed the button that let the Ferris Wheel operator know you wanted one final spin.

Which meant Aone had about 1 minute to change your mind while his whole world fell apart. He felt dizzy. He didn’t even know how he was still functioning, running on pure adrenaline, no doubt. He felt like this was another dream—no, a nightmare.

“If-if it’s something I did, Y/N, I sincerely apologize—“ He felt stupid to think you were actually enjoying yourself in a relationship with him.

You looked out into the skyline, directing your attention to the Japan night lights. The cold air quickly dried the single tear that escaped your eye.

“It’s nothing you did............” yet. Not until you realize you deserve so much better, You wanted to say.

“Then can I have one more chance? Please?”

Your boyfriend....no, ex-boyfriend threw everything he’s every heard from Futakuchi about being cool around his crush and begged for you. You were basically his world, the reason he’s truly lived a life of happiness and not just remained quiet and stoic like he used to be before you entered his life.

Aone stayed silent for a second and raked his brain for things he might have done to upset you. He couldn’t find one, but you wouldn’t do this for no reason, so he hated himself for not figuring it out.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

All too soon, the ride came to an end and you handed the gifts back to him before quickly scrambling out of the Ferris wheel.

Aone took a second to stare at the necklace and ring before stumbling out after you, feeling like there was an extra thousand pounds on his chest as you walked away from him in the dark night. You two were in the empty parking lot of the Ferris wheel.

“Y/N..... at least let me drive you home!” He yelled, dropping the heated blanket and gifts on the snow. He was in so much pain he couldn’t hold onto anything.

“I texted Kusa. She’s coming.” You called back, not daring to turn around because if you did you would just jump into his arms.

Aone couldn’t stop the tears that welled up behind his eyes. He’d never felt this level of pain before. He would choose to endure going through the pain of losing his last volleyball game in 3rd year everyday if it meant he didn’t have to feel what he was feeling now.

Before he started crying—something he hasn’t done since he was maybe 7 years old—Aone ran over to you, stepping in front of you to beg one last time.

“Y/N. Can I at least still be in your life? As fr-friends, even?” He asked heartbrokenly, unable to cope with not being anything to you anymore and going back to loving you from afar. He wouldn’t be able to handle that.

You walked around him, wiping your face of cold tears that luckily blended in with the pelting downfall of snow. “Okay.” You had to say, unable to refuse such a broken man. “Friends.”

The word friend stopped Aone where he stood. It was the last word he heard you say before he confessed to you at the bowling alley exactly a year ago, and now it was the last word he heard you say after you crushed his heart in front of a Ferris Wheel...

You kept walking further and further away from this mountain man that was so internally destroyed, he couldn’t take another step.

❄️ ❄️

It was 40 minutes later when Kenji had reached the empty Ferris Wheel lot. He saw a mountainous figure drenched in snow, its head slung down and shoulders dropped as if he was at a funeral. Kenji ran over and threw a blanket over his best friend’s shoulders, basically pushing him toward his car because he could barely move himself. On the drive, Kenji turned all of the hot air vents toward Aone so that the heat was blasting on him. The shell of a man just stared out the window like he had no purpose. Futakuchi couldn’t help but go in best-friend-protective-mode, tossing questions at him:

“I had to GPS your location after Kusa texted me! What happened?! Did Y/N break up with you, on your anniversary?! Really?! Ughhhh I knew this would happen. Aone, I’m here for you, big guy. Okay? It was me, you and the team before her, and it will be us after her, even though our season is over. I’m here. Okay? Can you please talk to me so that I know you’re okay?”

Aone didn’t answer his best friend that night, and Kenji knew it would be that way. As we all know, he is great at predicting things.

But what Kenji didn’t predict, however, was that it would be two and a half weeks until Aone would speak to anyone.... again.

❄️

———————————

A/N: I cried several times. Would love to hear y’alls thoughts

Taglist: @crushzone @galagcica @chaichai-the-weeb @nairobiisqueen @bisasterrr @juminly

Outtake #12: CLICK HERE

#aone takanobu x you #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smut #haikyuu stories #aone takanobu #kenji futakuchi #koganegawa kanji #hq headcanon #hq headcannons #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu headcanons #aone x reader #aone x y/n #haikyuu boys #haikyuu!!#haikyuuwritersnet #haikyuu angst #hq series

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