#it's such a different experience to engage with something that I'm not actively angry at

[poeticsandaliens]

one of the things that impresses me so much about TMA is that I'm content enough with how the story went down and enjoy the cast of characters and their dynamics such that I don't have a single "exclude" tag here on AO3. Like yeah there's stuff thematically I don't read but nothing I automatically filter out when I comb through the TMA tag. No characters or ships that I really avoid.

[yourwitchybrother]

Working with Odysseus!

Today, I come to you with some insight into the hero work part of my practice. I work very closely with Odysseus, he and I have a rather close bond with one another. As it stands right now, he doesn't yet have an altar. But I do plan on making him one when I can.

So, let's talk about how I honor and work with Odysseus in my practice.

Honoring Odysseus

In my prayers, I address Odysseus with gratitude and appreciation. He has been a more human teacher of mine since he entered my life, and he sort of serves as a buffer when I'm not communicating with deities. Communicating with Odysseus, in my experience, is a lot clearer, but not as concise. He has a lot to say when I do tarot with him!

He is also a huge fan of my shufflemancy playlist, and he adores the playlist I've made for him on Spotify. He likes music a lot. As another form of honoring him, his playlist has become my workout playlist for the gym.

For some context; Odysseus entered my life to help me become more active during a deep depressive rut I was stuck in back in my freshman year of college. I was fresh out of a toxic household, away from home for an extended period of time for the first time, I was coming out of survival mode and it was harsh on my mind and body. I was realizing just how toxic my home environment was, and it made me angry.

I took this energy out at the gym.

Odysseus also accompanied me when my partner and I were going through a really rough patch in our relationship. Communicating got difficult as we both went through our own issues, but Odysseus pushed me to keep trying, even when it got tough, and it helped greatly.

If you're unaware, Odysseus adores his wife, Penelope, more than anything. He tells me about her, sometimes. How sweet she is, how delighted he is to be with her forever, now. It's nice to listen to. He's been helpful in getting through the rough patches with my partner, especially while we're long-distance for the foreseeable future. The difference is, I can contact my partner within an instant, even from a distance. He envies this. However, I value communication with my partner because Odysseus has taught me how to cope with the distance. This is another way that I honor him.

My Relationship with Odysseus

Recently, Odysseus has become more of a mentor than he once was. He and I are close, we've been building a relationship for a little while, and despite taking me under his wing to help with navigating my future endeavors, he's still someone that I'd consider a friend. And that's odd to say when you remember the fact that he's a spirit and I'm a human, but it's how we mutually view one another.

He watches me sing Epic: The Musical and is thoroughly entertained by the ways in which his legacy lives on. He enjoys seeing me engage in physical activity, and work out. I started doing calisthenics and he's been a huge fan of that. When I worked my camp counselor job this past month, he loved seeing me interact with the kids, talk to them, and bond with them.

Odysseus can be a goofball, but he can also be serious whenever the need arises. That's something you shouldn't forget if you work with him.

He is also very bold. I bought a candle for Neptune and I think Odysseus took it over for about a week before Neptune actually got his hands on it. A very bold move on his part.

Conclusion!

I always struggle with describing my relationships with heroes because I don't know how to explain them in a way that people will understand. It's a lot of clairaudience, a lot of dream work. It's a deep bond that I've worked to form. Feel free to ask questions or inquire further in my inbox! Blessed be, and may the Sun be your guide. A domani!

[transandrophobiatruther]

Hey. I know you aren't stated to have posted since November, and you and I never talked as I was just a follower, but I hope you're ok.

Thank you for the concern - I appreciate it a ton.

I've mostly abandoned this blog for a list of reasons. One of the main ones is that in the three years since I've made this blog, some of my opinions have changed, and certainly my approach to things has changed.

I made this as a sort of vent blog as an angry 19 year old, and it blew up in a way I never expected. I regret that I bought into and participated in a lot of infighting, and I regret how I've spoken about transfems and trans women on this blog - especially when my sibling is transfem, and we share so many experiences and have meaningful conversations about our shared experiences in real life.

I've also come to accept that activism isn't something that can be achieved through tumblr, and that my venting was mistaken for activism, and it seems that far too often, arguing online and infighting are also mistaken for activism. I certainly fell into that trap. And I feel a lot of serious guilt - I have more than a few messages in my inbox of people thanking me for helping them discover they're trans.

I don't want to contribute to the belief that being transgender is about suffering. I don't want to feed into the infighting or mislead people into believing that other trans people are out to get them. I don't want anyone to think that it's all about fighting to be heard.

After a while, this all began to take a toll on my mental health. I've unfollowed most of the big blogs that discuss transandrophobia, but not necessarily because I disagree with them. Exposing myself to non-stop conversations about our oppression and to the ways other people were hurting and to brutal discussions of transphobic politics and transandrophobic violence happening in real life put me in a horrible place mentally. Not to mention, following so many blogs of other transmascs constantly engaging in arguments with transandrophobic people fueled my paranoia and made me believe everyone was out to get me/us.

And I'm not an angry 19 year old shouting into the void to be heard anymore. I know there are people who believe me. I know there are people who believe in transandrophobia, who listen to us, who amplify our voices. I know there's a word for our experiences. It's a huge relief to know I'm not alone, and there's a lot of us who are talking about our experiences and the oppression we face.

All trans people face oppression. No group of trans people is more oppressed than any other, and even though we face unique forms of oppression, we all share far more in common than any differences. There's joy in being trans. There's joy in community, there's joy in self discovery, there's joy in having trans siblings and brothers and sisters.

I haven't stopped believing that our experiences are real, but I have stepped back in order to focus on trans joy instead of dwelling on trans suffering.

[the-knight-of-destiny]

Okay, so long long ramble under the cut about the nature of Ratgrinder Discourse™, I'll preface by saying that I don't want any of this to get hostile with anyone, because I think that's frankly silly to do over a webshow. That said I am also open to critical discussion so if anything I say doesn't make sense, or doesn't track I'm open to critique on it! Obviously spoilers up to Episode 19 of Fantasy High Junior Year underneath. Also it is a VERY long post, several pages, so don't click read more if that'll be overwhelming/too much at once. I just had to get my thoughts into words.

So, this will be long but I'll try to break it up. For clarity I want to establish my main point and give a quick TL;DR here, so here's the short version, long version even further below. My main points are as follows: 1: It is okay to not be happy with how a narrative is going in a show/story you enjoy. Critique is not hate, if anything it's a form of praise in a way. People wouldn't be having such long and frequent discourse about D20 and it's current season if they didn't feel strongly. 2: Similarly, we as an audience have a very different perspective of the entire story unfolding compared to the Intrepid Heroes/Cast. I think a lot of people jump to assumptions about the cast's thought process when that really isn't something we can gauge beyond what they say in episode and on Adventuring Party. 3: For me at least, even if I am left unsatisfied by an ending it doesn't ruin the fun I had in a work. Now if you just wanted my bullet point thoughts without elaboration, there they are! The rest of this is going to be an insanely long ramble (seriously, exit now if you aren't up for that, it's pages long) that I don't expect anyone to read, but I like to get my thoughts outta my brain. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, in regards to the Ratgrinders dying in the fashion they have, there's been a lot of discussion on literally every place there is to discuss Dimension 20, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, I'm sure other places as well. Really it all comes back to one thing, Dungeons and Dragons is a game, but Dimension 20 is a show. We as viewers have some level of narrative expectation, now for everyone that's different. Some folks have specific hopes for plot and character arcs. Others just want a general vibe, but the cast are players. Sure they are performers, but they are players in a game in equal measure. I've alluded to this before but a lot of the sincere vitriol to antagonists thus far (and especially the Ratgrinders) comes from the fact that the players have been fully immersed in a world and as characters where the Ratgrinders have been a constant thorn in their side for tens of hours of play time. Obviously one can still not like how they've engaged with them (I'm still not sure how exactly I feel about it,) but a lot of it is coming from that distinct perspective. When Fig took Ruben out, she specifically was frustrated because she 'wasted her season' on him. There's a meta level of Fig being angry with Ruben as a character who shares a world with him, versus Emily being frustrated as a player that a lot of her in-game actions did not hash out. That's actually totally natural, by the way. The interesting way that DnD serves both as a narrative of the characters in the setting, but also of the players rolling dice is part of what makes actual play like Dimension 20 so interesting. It's why I think SOME of the disappointment with Brennan and the Intrepid Heroes comes from a strange place, we literally cannot experience the story the same way the cast have. We get a week between chunks of story, they film the episodes in batches. We can think for as long as we want about our critical thoughts, they have to improv on the fly. We get to watch the Ratgrinders as antagonists in a story, the IH are actively hindered in their gameplay by the Ratgrinders as enemies.

That said I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about some aspects of Protagonist Centric Morality™ in this. Oisin having a mildly flirty conversation with Adaine once when he had ulterior motives is a deeply awful manipulation, but Fig catfishing Ruben the better part of an entire year is her trying to reach out and understand him (?). Kipperlilly threatening to desecrate Eugenia's grave is deeply fucked up, but Riz openly advocating mutilating Oisin's body for tactical reasons, and Fabian loudly declaring he intends to do the same to Ivy for literally just his own self-satisfaction are 'fun unhinged moments'.

Before I go on, obviously the Ratgrinders are the bad guys. They're taking part in an evil plan, they've done villainous things throughout the season, especially very recently, etc. This isn't some argument that the Bad Kids are secretly the real monsters or something, obviously not. I just think it's odd that people read into the Bad Kids' actions in the best possible light at all times and the inverse for the Ratgrinders. This protagonist centric morality also comes down to the true reason behind any and all of Fantasy High's villain redemption. Ragh gets redeemed because the player characters think he's possibly useful and/or endearing. Aelwyn gets redeemed because she personally helps Adaine. The only one that Brennan really pushed forward on his own was Zayn, who they barely engaged with. People compare the Ratgrinders to Penelope and Dayne a lot, and understandably so. However I think this is sort of the complication and in my opinion, the silver bullet to understanding what's actually happening with the Ratgrinder's narrative place, Dayne more specifically. He does very little evil on screen. I mean, he injures Fabian and is most likely the one who killed Zayn, but comparatively to Aelwyn, he does almost nothing. He gets killed without so much as a thought, and in a fun (?) parallel to current Ratgrinder discourse, does actually have his body desecrated after death by Fabian. Because he hurt Fabian personally. Aelwyn gets forgiven of doing a lot of terrible shit (and this isn't Aelwyn hate, she's like my favorite NPC.) because it didn't directly affect any of the Bad Kids besides Adaine, and even the bad stuff that did affect Adaine can be sort of off-loaded onto their parents. So it's why I say this discourse is tough, people inevitably say "Well, the Ratgrinders are villains, of course they'll get killed." And this isn't inherently a wrong statement, they look at the bad things the group is doing and understand they must be stopped, why are people upset clearly bad guys get beat and/or killed in DnD games? Because they aren't actually getting killed in such brutal ways because they're bad guys, it's because they personally annoyed or hurt the Bad Kids. This is also why Ratgrinder fans often feel both frustrated and vindicated at once (I speculate, but I feel it's a safe assumption,) because on a meta level Kipperlilly is literally right. Her friends and likely herself are getting ripped to shreds because they crossed the special protagonists, because they started to really frustrate the Intrepid Heroes. The Bad Kids have forgiven atrocities before, but the Intrepid Heroes are really quick to dismiss and kill people they find annoying.

The ultimate example I feel of this, is Mary Ann. Ruben gets blasted into hell because his actions personally annoyed the players, Ivy gets stabbed to death while being repeatedly insulted and threatened with mutilation because her actions personally annoyed the players.

But Mary Ann is the one they all think they can redeem or save, because her personality is more cute and endearing to the players. That kind of says it all better than I ever could.

[yuurivoice]

I think alot of people are worried they'll make something you won't like because alot of creators are very stingy about what they're fans can and cannot make. (Not including NSFW or Ai creations)

Alot of fans don't wanna upset or make their favorite creator angry because their fanart doesn't adhere to their rules

Oh yeah, I get it and I appreciate the care. I try to elaborate and break down my perspective because in my experience there's some murky waters you can get into as a creator when you've got a budding community of really excited fans and you're really active engaging with the fan works. I've been through the ringer in that regard, from the ground up, so my approach is based on those years of experience.

I think a fandom of any sort should just be able to fool around and do their thing. While I have things I do and don't love........that shit ain't really my business, and no one should be creating anything on the basis of me seeing or feeling some type of way about their stuff. While the cozy we're all friends/family community vibes are fun and can be awesome, that shit will eventually lead to headaches that I don't want to deal with. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate or am not interested or anything, but I'm very wary of how excitable fans might react if one person gets "attention" and they do not, etc.

Which to a lot of folks might sound silly and like something that doesn't happen. Bubba, I promise you it has, it could, and it will again. Forever. Especially for something as personal and intimate as this particular niche.

90% of folks have always been excellent but the 10% has been nuclear and gross and not a great time. After a few trips around that block, I don't have the time and energy for any of that.

That might be a jarring change of pace for newer followers who might have other experiences and expectations from other communities and junk. Might even look like I'm a dick because I'm not falling over myself to engage with every post, but I've been in the trenches, have had uncomfortable parasocial interactions, have had people get weirdly possessive jealous and intense, have had a long list of shit that I now have very particular personal policies in place to ward off.

Saying all that to say, I don't concern myself with what people are up to so long as they aren't outright stealing shit without credit and passing it off as their own, or doing really obscene shit to harass folks. Otherwise, I think it's healthiest for all parties involved if I'm not stressing over what strangers on the internet want to make and they're not worried they'll upset me.

Obviously every creator is different and your mileage may vary from case to case. Shoutout to the folks who haven't had to deal with that and those who are chill. Perhaps I'm overly cautious at this point but I'm cool with that.

Basically, I get why folks would worry, and I'm trying to make it clear why that ain't a thing around here. It's one thing when people very specifically bring stuff TO me, or ask me something anonymously etc, but if you're just posting? You should be free to do whatever, that's not my business and you should be posting because you're having fun...not wondering what my dumb ass is gonna think about it. 😂

[itsclydebitches]

Tonight I came across a post (that won't hit my blog until July because I queued it) about how it's unfortunate that "fun" has supposedly become a requirement of video games, given that this severely limits how they can function as works of art. We don't limit other mediums by insisting that they only produce positive emotions and experiences in the recipient, so why would video games be any different just because they're (more) interactive?

This post isn't actually about video games, but rather how that argument got me thinking about RWBY and the recent resurgence of this "Why are you still here if you hate the show?" question. Now, setting aside the acknowledgment that 99.9% of people asking that are merely trolling behind their faux-concern—they have no actual interest in hearing a RWDE poster's reasons for sticking around, they simply want a way to say, "Get out" with plausible deniability—but if we treat this question seriously, I think that post on video games may offer some insight. I have numerous reasons for keeping active in the RWBY/RWDE fandom (initial love of the show, intellectual exercises, the community we've made, etc.) but there is also some level of investment in what would traditionally be framed as non-positive emotions. RWBY can make me feel very frustrated... similar to how playing Pathalogic makes me frustrated. Many of its plot-lines make me angry... the same way numerous video games' discriminatory writing can make me angry. RWBY's community, at times, feels like an insult-laden battlefield... but I've been doing PvP in WoW since it came out, so that's familiar too.

There are so many times when I've enjoyed engaging with a piece of media even when I really didn't enjoy it. Perhaps a better way of putting it would be that I found something worthwhile in the experience, even if I couldn't label that as "fun" or "happiness" or "satisfaction." Sometimes sitting with negative emotions is a good thing. Yes, you can take that too far just like you can take any behavior to an extreme, which is where the continual demands to "watch another show" highlight those posters' willful ignorance. We're already watching other shows. Reading other books. Playing other games. Engaging with a huge, diverse variety of art. Those who gain their own enjoyment from targeting strangers online (and isn't that a significant aspect to all this) want to make it sound like RWDE posters haven't touched a single piece of art other than RWBY in ten years and if they just found something they enjoyed without reservations then they'd drop RWBY like a hot potato. But I'm already watching numerous shows that I love unconditionally and have nothing substantial to critique; shows that have me internally kicking my feet and twirling my hair because they're just sooooooo good. I have that! RWBY is a different experience. It scratches a very specific itch of "I once adored this thing and now it's disappointing, but I want to see it through to its end and unpacking the ways in which it fails is a fascinating, cathartic mental exercise." I can't get that from anything else—not right now, anyway—so why would I want to give up this unique experience to fill my time solely with art that only makes me feel Generically Good? Art I have little to say about because it already feels #perfect to my mind? Sure, I could analyze a show's positives and sing its praises (which I often do), but at a certain point you run of out ways to say, "I like it." There's a reason why transformative fandom is built around the gaps in media: missing scenes, plot holes, retcons, failures, missed opportunities, horrible disappointments. Transformation comes more easily when you're already inclined to change the canon in the first place.

Idk, I feel like there's also an element of purity culture here where there's this push to make people think they must only engage with art that aligns precisely with their moral stance, produces only positive emotions, and invites nothing but praise. If the art makes you feel bad in any way than it is bad and you have a duty to remove yourself from it post-haste just ignore that we wanted you gone the whole time. Frankly, I think we humans can handle a bit more complexity than that? Obviously, as said, you wouldn't want to make Art You're Upset With the be-all and end-all of your media engagement, and this certainly isn't a call for anyone to engage with triggers unless they're inclined to do so, but a story you're primarily here to critique, or—yes—even a bit of hate watching can be "fun" in a non-traditionally fun away. Just because the art hasn't made you grin and pump your fist in triumphant doesn't mean it's not worth interacting with as art.

[formleadsfunction]

f@tt Sangfielle ep. 21 relistening post

(aka my own personal greatest hits)

it's At the Gates of Sapodilla time !!!!!!!

genuinely such a fantastic episode :))) can't wait even for the intro-ish part where he played out the lil game with Jack

anyway !! episode time !!

"If you're cooking a dish, I hope it's going great." "I hope it's going fantastic." <3

Austin making it clear that everybody had that debrief/calm-down conversation after the interview <3 once again, things like that just make me so !! - makes me as a listener feel, like, Safer too to experience these people play games together

Austin and Jack just suddenly diving into Blade Runner lore 😭

the fact alone that you can get interrupted constantly is so fucking stressful to me, this game is so fun, I wish I got to play it with somebody at some point

Tell Me About An Apocalypse That Would Make Birds Excited

also rly love how they discuss the game system and how it doesn't engage honestly with the Actual System in places necessarily

the way they all namedrop Bucho 😭

also the EDITING on that intro. god!!!!!!!

Pickman's deadpan "No I don't", I love her sm and she is SO real for this.

mf glim macula idiots like I Would Not Say That

Pickman not understanding the question/the difference between an objective and an ideal and the agent repeating the question without explaining what they want and getting increasingly. angry? insistent. is so fucking terrifying on like a personal level like please leave her ALONE

(aka this is so fun, I keep having to pause, I had to pause back while listening for the first time already too, just bc i get SO stressed, it's terrible and great)

actually I paused the episode to write the bullet point above and I haven't unpaused yet bc i'm just Thinking it's like, I don't wanna get too oversharing, and I don't think I've ever talked A Lot about the ways in which I like. have the Active Experience of being autistic beside just "wow wild that I just got diagnosed at 30+ years old" and "kinda sad that I can't ever go to a wrestling show live bc it would be overwhelming" but even besides the like. more often talked abt symptoms of autism, while reflecting on it I realized how much this has Always rly influenced my behavior and as a result, how people have treated me. like, it's bad! i'm like!! not/barely a bad at being a person!! like, it makes me behave deeply Weird in ways i even like, Get are off-putting! but the resulting treatment has in turn also influenced me to the point that I was so sure that there's just something deeply and fundamentally Wrong with me that a) I wished I was a robot at like age 13, b) for a while I was sure I was living in some weird simulation/experiment, and c) when I got the diagnosis, I didn't dare to actually apply it to myself for like about a year bc i thought I had cheated my way into getting an excuse for how there's smth wrong with me somehow. and ok this did get oversharing for sure, but I this is just Such an exciting episode for me. it's terrible and i'm stressed and anxious in a very real and genuine way while listening, but it's also kind of cathartic the way fiction can be in such a fun and entertaining way. just. rly good choice of game to show that border interrogation. (which! what I just talked about is just abt my experience with being autistic. that doesn't even get into how tense I've instinctly been every time I crossed a border and how that's NOTHING bc i'm white and swiss)

okay let's pretend I didn't ramble abt my lame lil life

first interview over... rly glad for the lil cooldown conversation between Austin and them afterwards. rly lightens the mood

"Answer honestly. You have nothing to fear." one of the most terrifying sentences in this episode fr

Lyke's interview is So good. also I love that he gets full access, it's just So fitting. Lyke is soooo.... I love him??? i had forgotten how great Lyke is

also. fucking disgusting, the immediate change between how Pickman was sent away and how enthusiastically in comparison Lyke was welcomed

"[thoughtfully and deliberately] Shit.. fuck.. damn."

DUVALL KILLING THE INTERVIEWER and neither I nor I think Austin noticed a THING

also just. Duvall getting so stressed that his bugs decide to intervene is SO good. wish that was me fr

Marn ilyyy

It's not just the way the interview is conducted, there is something very unsettling about some of these Questions as well. Marn's and Lyke's interviews in particular so far have been extremely intense in that way

Marn's (Ali's) nervous chuckling throughout is so relatable

"I wouldn't wanna die." without Really answering the question outright, ough

Virtue I am free Literally whenever

Chine's compliments 😭😭😭

Chine is the only person who lowkey sounds like they're having fun during this lmao

man... what an episode :)))

[lightningshow]

An Open Reflection of my Growth in 2023

This has been the year of me getting real with myself. Real about my goals, my wants, my needs, my emotions, my thought patterns, etc. I feel like for a while I was using denial to protect myself from the reality of my poor mental health, but this past year I've really had to be honest with myself in order to grow. I feel like this mindset shift has led to the most amount of self growth in a year that I've ever experienced. Genuinely, I feel like an entirely different person than I did a year ago, in an entirely positive way. I'm much happier than I've ever been. (Full reflection under cut)

In Fall/Winter of 2022 I underwent a course of therapy designed to help me process and accept the traumatic events I went through in high school. I don't know why, but I had really brushed off how things like my eating disorder and self harm had affected me in the long term. And of course I was actively in an abusive situation. But I had just sort of expected myself to be okay despite what I had gone through. My therapist helped me to understand that what I went through wasn't normal or okay and it was okay for me to feel angry and sad about not having a normal childhood or teenage years. Being able to fully accept that what happened to me wasn't okay or normal took several sessions, but finally being able to accept it has really set me free. We did a lot of processing following that regarding my self esteem and twisted thinking in my relationships, and how I often felt like I wasn't good enough for my romantic partners and would try to mould myself into something they could love unconditionally.

I decided to focus on myself for a while and not engage with romantic relationships for the rest of the year. I needed time to explore myself and accept my entirety. I've been able to accept a lot more now that I contain multitudes and I don't need to flatten my identity to be easily understandable to others, nor do I need to change who I am to be liked.

In Spring of 2023 I continued seeing my long term therapist alongside taking a course on Self Love. This course really opened my eyes into the ways I was neglecting my own wants and needs, and how my low self esteem and lack of self respect was holding me back: in my relationships, my schooling, my career, and my life in general. I've shied away from a lot of opportunities because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to achieve them. At the same time, I've accepted poor treatment from friends and partners in the past because I didn't think I deserved any better. Since then, I've been trying very hard to reinforce to myself that my voice matters. I don't have to hide parts of who I am to make my friends and partners like me. I am allowed to be my full and complete self, and not everybody has to like me, and that's okay.

I've been trying to pay more attention to my wants and needs since then. My main goal this year has been to be a more active participant in my life. I decided to take time off of school this fall semester to reorient my goals and take the time to think long and hard about what I want from the remainder of my college experience. I also have actively been working in my projected career field, and have really been loving it. I used to be so afraid of a career. I was always worried that I wouldn't be good enough. But this past year I've been able to accept that I am capable of doing hard things and of getting through new experiences.

Another aspect of my mental health that has worsened my self esteem in the past is my anxiety and ADHD. I went undiagnosed (but with a diagnostic impression) until earlier this year when I underwent my first real psychiatric evaluation. For so long I had felt like I was just worse at things than everyone else, that my lack of focus and procrastination and struggle to meet deadlines was that I just wasn't trying hard enough and was lazy. At the same time, I didn't understand how everyone could do things in life so easily that were so scary to me (even small things like changing my route to get somewhere).

Since my diagnosis, I've been trying to have a lot more patience with myself regarding my symptoms and be honest with myself that most people around me aren't experiencing the world the way I am, and that I don't have to compare myself to them. This self acceptance has helped me make progress on finding coping mechanisms and strategies more than shaming myself ever did. The reminders on my phone, to-do lists, and planner I use religiously have gotten me so much further than reprimanding myself for not remembering things.

Unfortunately, my anxiety is still really hard to manage. I have finally been able to seek psychiatric help regarding this and am seeing a prescriber for the first time very soon. I'm excited for where that next step will take me, as I've never been prescribed any mental health medication before.

With my mental health symptoms, I've found now more than ever it's very important for me to be kind and understanding towards myself and not pass judgements on my character based on my behaviors. I work with children who often have behavioral health issues and this approach of not judging myself but instead seeking to understand why I'm behaving a certain way has been the foundation of how I've learned to accept and help them. I also have taken this same approach in my interpersonal relationships: seeking to understand why first and passing judgement second.

The other thing I've had to work very hard to accept is that I am only capable of controlling my own actions. I am only in control of myself, and I can't change how anyone else feels or acts. The only thing that I can do is try my best to be understanding and be a good person to those around me. I feel like with my anxiety I feel a huge need to be liked and accepted and understood by everyone around me, which I feel is a very human thing, but at the same time it's impossible to be my full self and have everyone like me. So. It is what it is.

My body image has also significantly improved. I still have hard days, but since I've stopped living for others and processed a lot of my trauma I've really been able to let go of my desire to be attractive or desirable to others. The only person my body needs to exist for is me. I have ownership over myself. I get to choose what I do with my body. I feel like my pro-bodily autonomy stance has finally extended to me. I've definitely had a few mental lows this year and a few days where I've had to fight back ED behaviors, but the important thing is I've won every time. I have so much more respect for my body now and feel so proud of myself for letting go of my desire for perfection.

The final aspect that I want to talk about is the mindset shift that has helped me the most, which is practicing gratitude and seeking beauty in the ordinary. Because of my trauma and anxiety, my brain is wired to see the world as a scary and evil place. I've been trying to combat this but choosing to see the beauty in things. Earlier this year, we had our window open for a few months and a pair of birds built a nest there. That kept me going just seeing them there for weeks. I find I cry more often now, not out of pain or grief, but because I become so overwhelmed by the beauty of the world or the actions of others. I spent so long thinking I could only be hurt in this world that I'm still surprised every time I see deep expressions of love and care. I'm so grateful for the people who care about me and for the joy I'm able to experience. I tell people I love them much more liberally now because nothing in this life is guaranteed.

This has been my mental health wrapped. Thank you if you read this and please feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you're proud of accomplishing this year ❤️

[myjustice]

🔥+ current state of fandom culture

it's bad. there's so much bad in the way fandom is now a days. i remember fandom being fun, people being silly & ridiculous, sharing their thoughts & their preferences & likes without worrying about some idiot out there to get them for just having a preference & opinion that just did not match with theirs. if there was something you didn't agree with then you just ignored it & filtered it out or if you felt compelled to comment the discussions i would see from my personal experience were always civil ones contained within the confines of the fictional work & not someone calling someone homophobic just because they preferred a m/f ship over a m/m ship ( that's not how that works by the way ).

everybody is more focused on having some sort of nonexistent higher ground in their opinion compared to everybody else's rather than consuming something because they enjoy it. somehow the culture switched into it being hostile & competitive over time. i can't pinpoint where it started to happen, but when it did it was definitely a shock to me. this is a problem in every fandom unless the fandom is extremely small, genshin is my large fandom, i'm in a much smaller fandom & everything i see & hear from other much larger fandoms & this one have not been a problem in my smaller fandom. fandom isn't fun anymore, as a whole nobody has fun, it only works now a days when you find a small group of people in that fandom. which isn't a bad thing either as long as you're having fun, that's the whole point of a fandom, it was always to just have fun.

but it's why i don't go in too deep into fandoms, especially big ones. because i want to have fun, if you want to consume stuff that makes you angry for some strange reason that's on you, get better i guess.

people who make fandom their entire personality though are also quite the piece of work. this is going to be so mean but literally go outside, because usually good rule of thumb it's these people who are the problem & take fandom way too seriously when they shouldn't be. if you can't handle someone having a different opinion, a different take, a different headcanon, a different preference, a different something that doesn't match with what you think & your initial response is to be aggressive to that person, to be ugly, to make them sound like they're vile, then you're the problem & you need to step back & remember that life is outside, not in the internet since that's where usually you find your fandoms.

even i who doesn't go too deep into my largest fandom unless it's for my work have been told i can't call myself a lesbian for being okay with the neuvifuri ship? i can't imagine how it's like for people who actively engage in fandoms deep on their day to day & i don't want to.

i've seen things i disagree with but i'm not going to do anything about it. that's how they're consuming it, it's not going to hurt me. it's not that hard, it's not going to kill you for just saying oh i disagree & just go on with your day unbothered, if it does it's a bit embarrassing in my opinion. i can express i disagree with it in my space, but i'm not going to go after them, i'm not going to dis them because then i'll be contributing to that problem.

then there's this weird i don't know what to properly call it, almost this purity culture in fandoms. i've seen so many people have to justify themselves & defend themselves for liking a downright vile character & explain that they don't support or condone their actions like they're being held on trial by a mob of just downright weird, very weird people, that used to never happen before. it's odd. if you can't separate fiction from reality you have to work on that in my opinion, that's what i think. not everybody is affected by fiction like the person next to you. someone can watch gore & go on with their day eating a cupcake five minutes later like they didn't just watch someone on screen get gut open. there are people out there like that because it's a fictional piece.

i feel like i'm ranting on & on at this point.

the point is that it isn't what it used to be, not anymore.

meme

[ina-nis]

I feel very burnt out, both mentally and physically, but the physical issues will have to wait a few months until I can get them check out... either way, the emotional issues remain.

Therapist said that this could take several years - same as what last therapist told me, too - and that she didn't want to sound discouraging but... isn't that discouraging regardless? Any way, I told her I'm aware this is going to be a life-long process.

I already got so angry and cried so much.

This is not fair.

That I have been so hurt, so deeply by other people, over things that were not my fault or under my control and now I'm the one supposed to fix them by myself.

"But you're not alone!" Does it matter? Does it make a difference? Who is there with me, a therapist, really?

The next phase in my treatment is acceptance.

I got tired of fighting a losing battle, you know? I'm never going to win against this if I keep on trying to go face-to-face as I've been doing. I know that much now. It's likely there's no "winning" at all, and that's alright I guess.

If I get to a point where I'm able to actually live my life and enjoy my happinesses without a death wish, that's a victory for me. The pain will never go away, that's alright, I understand.

I've been troubled by my own feelings though: I keep engaged in love and romance in most things I do, in things I draw and read, and things I write and consume in general. That's definitely making matters worse, since I'm not avoiding the main cause of my pain.

Looking back at other things I used to do, ironically, they were very social activities that had nothing to do with romance. I did music-related things for fun, for myself and for the community I built around it.

A lot of that was also there to help me cope with an unsustainable living situation. Music gave me a quick and definitive escape from the hassle in my real life, and I never had to touch in these deep wounds.

Before music, it was my own stories and own universes and fantasies, which I engaged in romance quite a lot, but was escapism as well, of course.

Fast forward to here and today, as I started healing from all other issues, as I got into a safer place physically, naturally my mind gravitated towards love. I briefly experienced reciprocal love with my safe person at the time, too, so it's like I crossed a bridge that I'll never be able to go back to. I'm honestly thankful, I don't want to go back.

I just didn't imagine dealing with that loss would be so detrimental to me. But perhaps that was a loss that was loaded with... losses all around my life, that I probably have never processed. No matter what, it's out in the open and I can't go back. That's a good thing because I can try to do something about it finally.

If I'm trying to practice acceptance now, I wonder if engaging in these feelings will be just counterproductive? But it feels as if I were avoiding or even killing a part of myself if I do not experience them anymore.

Love is essential to me, to my happiness and to my well-being too. It's very hard, maybe impossible, for me to see romantic love as something separate from love because love is love to me.

Engaging in a fantasy of love feels good to me, always have. It's just not helping me cope with a lack of (romantic) love in my real life anymore.

When I see advice geared towards people wanting to avoid falling in love, or maybe being alright in singlehood, or accepting loneliness, or anything else... you're supposed to avoid love, since it is a trigger.

The other piece is disability.

Yes, I absolutely thought about trying to reconnect with music and maybe disengage a little from my romantic obsessions, or have a little bit of everything, instead of focusing so much on one thing but... it will just spread me too thin. I barely have the energy to do what I do, I cannot imagine myself engaging in a number of different things as a way to cope better, etc.

"Why not go back to music then?"

Yeah, why not? I asked myself this several times already and the answers were all similar: engaging in love directly makes me feel very fulfilled, music is something that feels more impersonal somehow. I love music and it's one of my favorite things in the entire world and yet, it's not something I feel deep in my core, as an inherent part of me.

Love does.

I wouldn't be engaging with love again if all there is was pain and triggers. Like I mentioned several times already: my feelings are not a mistake. There's a lot of suffering and there's a lot of joy, too. I want to find a way to make the joy worth living for, because as it is, the pain drives me to death, with how cornered I feel.

So... "several years" is a really long time to go on suffering with this horrifying pain, isn't it? That is when I choose the path to healing. I wonder how that will be now that I've chosen acceptance.

[xxduncandonutxx]

(rape fetish and abuse mention) Tbh the only reasons I share my idol opinions through anonymous messages is I don’t want idol to start being weird towards me , but also I just don’t want to be a hypocrite?

Like I don’t believe people should hide their opinions (within reason) and indie shows aren’t immune to criticism , but there also comes a point when it’s like “ok yeah they’re doing this to purposely bait people now” as well as some of the stuff he says on unicornmantises making both his art and criticisms look worse

Idol does not deserves to be harassed for not liking Viv and redesigning her characters. HOWEVER I 100% believe idol was purposely baiting Viv fans with his (recent) redesigns. idol has made several dozen posts talking about how awful both Viv and her fan bases are, Hell, he even claims one of his friends was abused by Viv (which sucks) and yet has a surprise pikachu face whenever he made a redesign and people made a connection between the redesigns and the very public posts of him crapping on Viv and her works

Like, oh wow, why would anyone guess someone who claims Viv is an abuser and has a rape fetish among other heinous things posted on a public tumblr blog, would make redesigns out of hate/spite? It’s totally normal to make fan art for people who abused your friends, right guys?

Talking from experience , I used to be active on TikTok and would bait people with my opinions on a controversial web comic in order to get engagement, but I left when the app as a whole started taking a toll on my mental health and I realised baiting people wasn’t a good way to gain attention

The difference though, is I genuinely do still enjoy engaging with the comic, I just knew being public about liking it on TikTok would get people to interact with me after I first shared my opinions and got hate for it, and again I know better now that wasn’t a productive use of my time and to instead focus on stuff that brings me positivity

So I just can’t really imagine doing that for something you hate? My enjoyment out of baiting people came from the fact I could laugh at teenagers getting angry that some rando (me) was enjoying themselves instead of blocking and moving on, idol just baits people to surround himself with cartoon opinions for a cartoon he doesn’t even

If idol actually interacts with me or something particular happens I might have the nerves to be more bolder with my opinions but for now I rather try keeping myself in check and give myself the moment to go “hmmmm should I really post this? Is it really worth potential drama or should I just vent to a friend instead?”

I hope you’re doing okay

Yeah I'm doing fine, also agree that if Idol is doing this as bait then they should really stop because this could mentally hurt him.

But I don't think he made those redesigns to bait people, rather just for fun.

[sparkling-pink-lemonade]

Feel like giving my scattered thoughts about radqueer~

long post: (radqueer positive, detailed description of my journey as an ex transphobe into an ally, my current approach to radqueer identities)

I'm definitely pro-radqueer, and I've found my life to filled with a lot less hate since adopting radqueer ideology, even when it was back before I even knew about radqueer.

I don't really consider myself radqueer, because to me, labels are a personal thing representing my identity, so I'd have to actively be a part of the community to consider it as part of my identity. Like, I actively consider myself proship/profic not just because I agree with the ideology, but because I feel it's a subject that affects me personally and is a community I choose to engage with. While radqueer is like "oh yeah, I believe in that" and go about my day, not paying much mind to it.

Before accepting the idea of radqueer, I was way too focused on what identities are "correct" and what identities are "harmful". I'd get soo angry seeing someone identify as something I didn't agree with. Now let me make something clear, as far as lgbt+ goes, I'm bi and cis. I'm old enough to recall when the whole idea of more widespread trans awareness was just starting to take root. Being young and cis, I didn't understand it. My lack of understanding made me angry. "Why do people feel they have to change their gender? Why can't they be a guy that likes skirts and dolls? Why can't they be a girl with cargo pants and nerf guns?" Eventually when some friends came out as trans, I had it explained to me, and I stopped being so angry. Then soon after came a more widespread awareness for nonbinary. It happened again. "I get wanting to transition to the other gender, but you have to be one or the other. Just pick the one aligns with how you want to present. You're just trying to be special to get more oppression points." And then when friends came out as non binary, I had that explained as well.

But I still kept getting mad at other identities for not being "correct" or "reasonable"

When that finally changed, and I learned to let go of that hatred for things I don't understand, and accept the identities of others no matter how unorthodox it seemed to me, it was a rather ironic moment honestly. As I had learned it from two of the biggest antis I know. XD and I guarantee you that these people are definitely anti radqueer as well.

How it went down, I was fed up and getting angry over the idea of noun/nounself neo pronouns, and other neo pronouns like it. Was it an ironic thing, to make fun of the transphobes who whine about there being only 2 genders, but the libtards keep inventing new ones? Or did they seriously expect people to remember and use these pronouns, alienating people who are genuinely trying their hardest to be supportive with something they don't understand, by making the trans right's movement look like the joke the transphobes are making it out to be, causing the trans people who are genuinely trying to fight for their rights further harm?

I was told it was serious and that they wanted people to use these pronouns. It isn't a joke to them, and they use these noun-gender identities because they experience gender in a completely different way, and that an aesthetic better describes their gender in a way other people can understand. And if someone becomes transphobic against all trans people due to their comfort labels, then that's their own fault for siding with transphobes rather trying to understand it or at the least just let people be happy.

"It isn't trans people that are hurting other trans people, it's transphobes that are hurting trans people."

And that just really struck me. Why was I getting so upset over other people's identities? Why did I feel like it was my job to decide if other people's labels were valid or not? Why did I care so much about how others express their own experience? These people aren't hurting me by having their identities, it doesn't matter if I agree with it or not.

Do I still believe that some radqueer identities can stem from a more harmful systemic way of thinking? Absolutely. But if the identity isn't proven to be in bad faith, and isn't actively spreading misinformation... then it isn't my business. Do I feel that some radqueer identities are a symptom of an undiagnosed mental disorder that should be genuinely treated rather than just calling it an identity? Well... yes, but at the same time, people believed the same thing about gay people for decades. So unless it's causing the person distress, or impairing their everyday life, it's none. of. my. fucking. business. If that's what makes them happy, then have at it, go get that label!

And it doesn't matter how much something seems like an attempt to get oppression points for the internet clout. It doesn't matter if it seems to be in bad faith. Because unless the person outright admits to it themselves, we aren't in their brain and can never truly know if it's in "good faith". So why be a dick about it. Life is too precious to spend it hating on others who aren't hurting you. I will admit there are times I see someone coin or use a label I don't see as "valid". But now, if it truly bothers me, I recognize that as no one's problem but my own. The block button is free, and I can just move on and acknowledge there is nothing wrong with a person doing something that helps them express themselves.

[iamnmbr3]

Hey! I've been mostly a lurker in the Loki/Marvel fandom spaces on Tumblr (just following nice authors and artists but not interacting) and recently saw a lot of people talking about how the experience in Loki fandom has been unpleasant recently. As far as I've seen it mostly seems to be the fandom at odds with each other over the dissonance between the 2012-2013 Loki character, Ragnarok Loki character, and the TV Series Loki character (surprisingly though, I've never come across these differing opinions. I don't know if it's because I don't follow other Loki enthusiasts or because I don't own a Loki blog myself). But seeing as the Loki TV Series came out in 2021 and it's been over 2 years since it released, I was confused why it would be especially bad now. So I guess I'm asking, has the fandom has been unpleasant for the entirety of the past 2 years since the series came out, or has the hate in the fandom has just been increasing recently, or is it something else entirely in the fandom that I've missed?? I'm just generally confused as to why people have been saying the Loki fandom experience has been going down the drain.

Hey! Welcome! :)

Different people will probably have different answers to this. I think mostly people are referring to the great schisms in the fandom caused by Ragnarok (some people hated and felt alienated by it, other people liked it, and some people attacked those who didn't like it etc) and then by the tv series (many people hated it and felt it seemed actively hostile to the character and the fandom, while other people felt angry that people were criticizing the show and began to harass and attack anyone who made posts pointing out flaws in the show) which led to fighting and hurt.

Personally I am still enjoying my experience in the Loki fandom. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here. I have definitely been harassed over my criticism of the show but I usually just ignore it or engage in a discussion if it seems reasonable; if an interaction crosses a line I just block the person. And I've curated the blogs I follow so I don't have to see content about the show very often.

I love Loki (actual Loki not whatever tf that tv show abomination is) and the great content about him that the fandom produces and is still producing. I think there's good and bad parts to the fandom - like any fandom - and I'm definitely still happy in my part.

But yes. Many people have been deeply upset by the show - which promotes numerous harmful and offensive attitudes and seems actively intent on destroying the character and mocking the fans - and even more so by how a subset of fans have decided to harass anyone who dares to discuss the problems with the show or the hurt they are feeling as a result. And for some that has made the fandom too unpleasant to be in.

[wubwubnparmaham]

what is it exactly that they suffer from and what triggered hadrian's last episode since it'd been a while since the previous one?

also harlock really is harry's best best friend, that last chapter had me in tears man://

This is gonna be a long ass response so I'll cut it here. I haven't been in Auron's head much in actual WRITING and chapters and stuff except for tiny snippets here and there that don't show this sort of thing, so I'm happy to explain, see below

Okay so basically the twins don't have all the same things, but there is some overlap for sure, especially within depression and dissociation.

In short, I could summarize Auron as paranoid personality disorder + delusional psychosis and severe bipolar disorder. I have a lot of experience with bipolar disorder in my life, and a lot of Auron's impulsive-to-unreachable and inconsilable pipeline behaviors are based around shit in my memories, but that's noooot all he is, not by a long shot. The level of PPD paranoia that he has easily rivals that seen in some schizophrenias, but he doesn't have hallucinations, per se, and he's not schizophrenic, he just has intensely DETAILED delusions and ever-present fears that people are out to get him and do him harm that leads to a "strike first" mentality (there's so much he did in his life Hadrian doesn't even know about), and it got permanently unmanageable once his parents actually did try to kill him. Try telling someone something is just in their head when the wildest conspiracy they ever had about their own flesh and blood caregivers turned out to be true. Let's just say there's a definite reason he wanted to be the most powerful person in the entire world, and he was certainly of the mind that it would "cure" his paranoia if he was untouchable like that, like a god. A shitload of Auron's struggles comes down to nature and nurture working in tandem. Things that might have been more manageable became uncontrollable due to early traumas and not enough support, causing him to lash out and then further the cycle of revenge and murder and regret and depression and yaddyadda. Both twins are obscenely traumatized, to be sure, so it goes without saying that for both of them, their dark pits of behavior wouldn't be nearly as bad as they are if they'd had better lives, or were born into the times of modern medicine and psychological therapy. But alas...

Anywho, the dissociative aspects in both of them are different forms of catatonia, just in two sides of the same coin; with Auron, hyperkinetic catatonia, so, prone to aggressive and violent, impulsive outbursts while already being out of his mind and not fully present WITH everything else mentioned before bouncing around in his mind; and with Hadrian, hypokinetic catatonia, which causes him to lose his grip on the present reality and shut inward, jumping between being completely unresponsive or being a bit so, but difficult to understand, disjointed and not "all there". Both forms are inherently dissociative and will won't be perfectly remembered once the episode is over with.

The "genes" that I routinely refer to is usually Auron's 'mania' from bipolar disorder, the manic depressive disorder they both exhibit and the bouts of catatonia, all of which are neurological yes but also trauma-based at the same time, as well as genetic; it's natural for their brains to do certain things due to factors outside their control, so whenever something really goes wrong, it tends to trigger it like a lightswitch, and Auron is coincidentally able to act on a bunch of impulsive thoughts because he is "conscious" while also being delirious and all around angry and revenge-seeking and emotionally hurt, and Hadrian just sits / lies there for days because he coincidentally does not possess the version of catatonia required to still be active and engaged.

One could make the argument that some of Hadrian's outbursts (especially the murderous kind) could be indicative of bigger mental / psychotic issues, but it gets murky. There's just so many factors at play. There's how they were raised, as emotionally-stunted Roman royal warrior-types with humongous things expected of them, there's the early childhood trauma on top of that, there's the fucking VAMPIRISM, and a bunch of grief and insanity in their lives that the lines get blurred. How much is just due to never learning how to control their impulses and emotions and how much is the consequence of truly inescapable reactions?

The world may never know ahaha.

In conclusion, their genes and their traumas clash constantly and create inverted combos that can be really difficult to experience and to live with for those around them. Because Auron exhibited more obvious signs and drew more attention, Hadrian slipped under the radar pretty easily in comparison. Auron was the "crazy one", not him. And while it's true that Auron has a few more things he's dealing with, it was always a mistake of Hadrian's for thinking there was nothing at all amiss in his own head, and ofc an objective oversight not to recognize that a lot of their issues were and continue to be the same condition / different coin sides of the same conditions, but nobody had that kind of knowledge back then. It simply wasn't understood. And then suddenly they're centuries upon centuries old and patterns of behavior are locked in like cement.

In complete conclusion, the Aelius twins remain two genetically unlucky, deeply troubled and traumatized human beings that never should have been granted everlasting life and instinctively murderous / genocidal impulses on top of it.

[starlit-mansion]

I'm not fully sure how to articulate this but part of my ongoing consternation about the state of fandom is that everything becomes a filmy slime of personal projection and memes and half-formed thoughts when it's all just loose on social media, which is fine for incredibly consumable product-ass products but becomes very bizarre with complex texts with meaningful themes

like sometimes it does feel like an emperor's no clothes situation, of like "why are we only drawing these guy's dicks instead of appreciating the whole story?" but also this is a really specific hobby with a lot of social conventions and any given person you talk to is usually pretty happy to expound on the meaningful parts of the text and is just having fun making memes and ship art because for them, there's just not that much left unsaid about the quality of the text

like in many ways, i'm glad that my actual first experience with the book dracula was just straight up listening to an unironic free podcasted audiobook a few years before it became memetic, because there's something about making it an activity that changes the state of matter of the entire story, starts to break it down and dissolve the intention

when I was very young, i only engaged with fanfic that was set out into the world as a complete thought (even if the fic itself wasn't complete, there was a sort of inherent concreteness of presenting a piece of art with something to say), but i don't even really like fanfic and the endless distending and warping of text that much anymore. not a lot would be added to my life from hanging around ao3 instead of here, because I would only start to articulate more of the things that make me angry.

this is all a personal problem. i'm like... constantly clenching my teeth about the fact that there's no news event or disaster that won't become a meme, but also. i'm on the meme website. I should probably just leave. but also. i've taken so many sanity breaks from tumblr over the last year. at one point, i changed my password to autogenerated gibberish and didn't save it so that i couldn't log in anymore, and i would be forced to sit with myself for the time it would take to reset it and remind myself that i was getting so angry and scared every single day and for WHAT

it didn't really work

because without it, now that i'm working from home and don't talk to people much and don't have an irl social circle due to not being very social on my own and moving across the entire fucking country in first year of the pandemic to spend a year and a half exclusively sitting inside a different set of rooms, not having the casual interpersonal connection of mentally hanging out in a shared space is also very bad for my brain, and leads to a lot of bitter rumination once the novelty of breaking yourself of the phone loop and reading a book in a non-public way wears off. we all know this. we've all experienced it on some level or another due to the collective experience of the last 3+ years.

not sure how to wrap this up in a non bleak way and go back to my regular scheduled posting and avoiding too many spoilers about a movie trailer that i WANT to watch and CAN'T MAKE MYSELF DO IT because of MY ABBY NORMAL BRAIN. generally i do enjoy the stuff i engage with and try to keep my haterade guzzling to occasional dabbling in criticizing things i don't like.

this is how my depression way goes though. i don't necessarily spend all day hating and despising myself and ruminating on how all my actions are simultaneously valueless and harmful to others. The endless slog through a lukewarm knee-deep ocean of salt water is that my ability to sincerely and happily engage with things diminishes, anhedonia sets in, caring about things starts to feel like inflammation. the light hurts, because it brings too much with it. i want to take the edge off of things, and joy is an edge too.

it's not that i don't understand the sanding away of nuance, it just reminds me of my worst self, angry and overwhelmed, more interested in chewing on bones than eating.

[amanihealthinc]

Emotional Management is Crucial for Your Child's Development

I want to talk to you about something that I believe is crucial for your child's development: Emotional management. As we all know, emotions are an essential part of our lives, and it is essential to recognize and manage them, especially for children.

Children often have a difficult time recognizing and managing their emotions, and sometimes, this is what leads to them throwing tantrums or exhibiting even more negative emotions like aggression, violence, etc. because that may be the best way they know to express how they feel. There’s a better way though, It’s called Emotional management and the good news is that emotional management can be taught and learned. 

What is Emotional Management? 

Emotional management is a vital skill that children need to learn to navigate the ups and downs of life. Children who can manage their emotions well tend to be happier, more confident, and better able to handle stress and difficult situations. Therefore, as a parent or guardian, you need to help your children name and understand their emotions and also provide them with the necessary tools to manage those emotions effectively.

Here are some techniques to help teach your children Emotional Management:

Encourage children to identify and name their emotions: Encourage your children to name their emotions. Teach them different emotions and how they feel, such as happy, sad, angry, scared, frustrated, disappointed, tired, anxious, and so on.

Teach your child that it's okay to feel different emotions and that it's normal to experience a range of emotions. Encourage your child to express their emotions and how they feel. For example, if your child is feeling angry, they might say, "I'm really angry right now!" This simple act of putting a name to what they feel can help your child feel more in control of their feelings.

Teach your child coping skills: Coping skills are techniques that your child can use to manage their emotions when they feel overwhelmed. Some examples of coping skills include deep breathing, counting to ten, taking a break, talking to a friend or family member, or engaging in physical activity. Work with your child to identify coping skills that work best for them.

Model emotional management: Children learn a lot from watching their parents. So, if you want your child to be good at managing their emotions, you need to model that behavior yourself. Be aware of how you react to different situations, and try to respond in a calm and constructive way. If you do get upset or angry, use that as an opportunity to show your child how you can manage those emotions. You might say something like, "I'm feeling really frustrated right now, but I'm going to take a deep breath and calm down."

Roleplay: Role-playing is an excellent way to help children learn how to manage their emotions. You can act out different situations that can trigger emotional responses and teach them how to respond appropriately.

Validate their emotions: It is crucial to validate children's emotions and make them feel heard. Avoid saying words like, Boys don’t cry. Big girls don’t feel sad. Listen to them and let them express their feelings, and provide support and guidance where necessary.

Help your child develop empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. When your child can put themselves in someone else's shoes, it can help them manage their own emotions more effectively. Encourage your child to think about how others might be feeling in different situations.

In conclusion, emotional management is a vital skill that can help your child thrive in all areas of their life. By helping your children manage their emotions using some of the techniques above, you create a safe and supportive environment for your children to express themselves freely and set your child up for success.  

 As always, if you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to reach out. Share your experiences with us and let us know how it has helped you and your children.