#it's so painful 😭 she probably felt like she didn't even know him at all

[pulling-a-jowan]

Hearing Hawke say "I don't know if there ever was just an "Anders"" broke me a little bit

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 2

Part 1, Part 2, (Part 3??)

Part 1 was many months ago.. oopsie! Been doing a lot of reading recently and HOLY FUCK I LOVE THE TWISTED SERIES BY ANA HUANG. I JUST FINISHED IT, CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE KING OF SINS SERIES (btw I finished it a long time ago, this draft just never made it out). Do y'all like want some stuff implemented from there, here? I'M THINKING KING OF GREED? 👀

Also.. This was supposed to be my birthday special, but what happened was I became busy and never got around to making a definitive ending.. but don't worry, this isn't where the series ends.

My goodness the taglist on this one almost doubled, to anyone who doesn't want to be part of the tags, please tell me so that I can remove you because this will be the official list and it's still open for more people who wanna see this series.

Warning: Too lazy to proof read since I have so much to do, please tell me any autocorrected, misspelled words in the replies so I can change it.. 😭

My CoD Masterlist

My Simon Riley x You Playlist

Simon sulked, his forehead resting on the soft mattress. His back and neck were aching yet he couldn't get the fear and worry out his head. You clear the fog in your head, your body felt sore despite the semi-comfortable bed you were laying on.

You groan softly, forcing yourself to sit-up, where the fuck was your daughter? Was she safe? In a panic you looked around the room, you let out a long, deep sigh as you saw her laying on the couch. Long blond hair splayed around messily on the pillow with a blanket that was barely hanging onto her body, she looked so peaceful.

You felt movement next to you, Simon woke up. He looks up to you, in a bit of a shock. He didn't say a word before holding you and guiding you back down to lay on the slightly adjusted bed, back against the pillow he fixed behind you, you wanted to fight it and protest but his strength was god-like on your still weak and not well rested body, your throat was dry to the point of pain and obvious discomfort.

Simon knows you better than you know yourself, resentment settled in your blood, felt more than the amount than when you missed him. He took the tightly sealed water bottle on the table next to your bed and pries it open, holding the bottle's opening to your lips.

You took a big gulp with his guide but you gently took the bottle off his hand into your own, your fingers brushing his a bit in the process, basically telling him you could do it yourself. A few more gulps down and your throat was eased, you handed back the water bottle to Simon.

He was fidgeting with his hands, his fingers rubbing and grazing the spot your fingers accidentally touched. You looked down with dismay as he takes the bottle from you and closes it.

Was he so disgusted and revolted by your touch that he's brushing off his fingers from it? You knew you didn't end it good terms but you had no idea he hated you that much. Maybe not.. are you overthinking? Probably.

It was silent, awkward, just hearing the IV drip and the beeps of the heart monitor. Simon wanted to say something so bad but what do you say to the love of your life who you've hurt severely and regret it because you still love her and want to be in her life again? Mouthful, he knows.

Simon had no right to you anymore, he couldn't even scold you and tell you to take better care of yourself anymore because that's what he used to do, it's way too familiar. He couldn't even touch you without him thinking it would make you uncomfortable.

You feel it, rather see it more but Simon wanted to die in the moment. Heavy breaths and clearly restless eyes, disheveled hair..

"How do you feel..?" He said, he looks elsewhere as he wanted to avoid the way your eyes chose to settle on him..

"I don't know..? I don't know how to process all this but there's no physical pain, just nausea.." you said, he got up to call a nurse and alert them that you're awake. He chose to step out while the doctor did the regular routine of checking everything.

"Momma?" You turn to your left at the couch where your daughter was sat up, rubbing her eyes.. she got off it and immediately ran to you, "I'm glad you're okay now.." she said which never failed to make you smile with how caring she tended to be..

"What happened bubs? Momma doesn't remember much except for fainting.." you asked the bundle of joy as you tried to piece back what had happened beforehand..

"I called dada when you fell, momma. I was so scared, I was shouting but you won't wake up.. dada took so long to get there but when he did, he asked me to go in the car while carried you inside to take you here.." she said, you took her off the ground and placed her at your side, embracing her little body.

"I'm sorry bubs, momma should've taken better care of herself.. if I had, I wouldn't have been so sick to the point of unconsciousness.." you felt so guilty, if only it had been under better circumstance then you would've been able to take care of yourself better and not put your child through what must've been a moment that should've set her in a panic.

"It's okay, momma. I'm a big girl now, I can take care of you like you take care of me.." her sweet little voice paused for a moment.

"Momma, what does unconscious mean?" She asked, you laughed, forgetting that she doesn't know the meaning of certain words yet..

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle @darkhorrorwhispers @cyphah @ash-tarte @linaangel @waves-against-a-cliff @fruitymoonbeams-blog @venussdovess @mactavishsgfandwife @thisisaphrodite @holyfeck @avalkyrieofparis @mymelx @ssc7514 @lilaclazer @fandomwarrior98 @spontaneousleo

[gyll-yee-haw]

Could you write Donnie crushing on the reader and he walks in while she's in the shower or like changing and he acts like it's nothing, he apologizes and leaves so she can get situated and then that's that BUT he CANNOT forgot about it and he goes home being a perv thinking of how beautiful she is and he gets horny

Donnie doesn't know when to stop

Absolutely gross, hottest thing I ever wrote. I love pathetic men <3

Warnings: accidentally perv!Donnie, he's OBSESSED with you, masturbation (m), edging, ruined orgasm, he's so sub! it hurts, pain!kink, virgin!Donnie, unprotected sex

Fucking 3k words, looks like Maria doesn't know when to stop EITHER 😭

---

You had to do a school project together and he was losing his mind about it

Like yeah, you were friends and you used to hang out all the time, but only at school

Now he was going TO YOUR HOUSE

It felt so intimate just being there

It was nothing much, but he was so obsessed with you it made him act that ridiculous

He was so nervous that he just couldn't sit still at home, so he decided to head to your place, even though it was a bit earlier than you expected

He thought he could just hang out in front of your house until the time you were expecting him to come

The problem was that your mom was leaving the house and found him seating there

"Oh, you must be Donnie! Y/N is waiting for you, come in!"

He should have said no, that it was still too early, but your mom said you were waiting... so maybe you were ready? He shouldn't keep you waiting

"I'm going to work right now. She's in her room, upstairs." Your mom told him, before closing the door and leaving

So he went upstairs, obviously

You just got out of the shower, and was pacing around the room, a towel wrapped around your body, looking for a cute outfit to wait for Donnie

Your bedroom door was open, since you thought you were alone at home

Donnie was very shy, walking upstairs without making a sound, just thinking about what should he say to you, rehearsing in his mind what kind of greeting would make him sound... not terrified

He stopped immediately when he saw you

It was so wrong to just stand there and stare, but it was impossible not to

He watched as you placed your clothes on the bed, letting the towel fall at your feet

Felt like his blood abandoned his body

It couldn't be real, he must be dreaming...

But it only lasted a few seconds, until you looked towards the door and saw him

You let out a scream, completely horrified

Then you slammed the door shut

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? SHOULDN'T YOU BE HERE IN AN HOUR?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I swear I didn't... I wasn't trying to... listen." He tried to explain, but he couldn't find the words. He was probably more embarrassed than you. "I think... I think I should go"

"Yeah, you should..." was all you could say, sitting on the floor wondering if you'd ever be brave enough to see his face again

He walked home absolutely heartbroken. He couldn't believe that he had ruined EVERYTHING. Now you thought he was a perv... you'd never talk to him again

He didn't feel anything but shame and sadness until he went to bed that night

I guess that's when the adrenaline rush wore out and he thought about it all

It didn't last more than 15 seconds, but during that time you were completely naked right before his eyes... and so close he could smell the lotion on your body

Maybe he was crazy, but the fact that you were getting ready to see him...

He imagined you applying the lotion to your skin a few minutes before he walked in... you were probably thinking about him while you did so... I mean... you knew he was coming over soon

And as if the thought of you applying the lotion to your body wasn't enough to drive him crazy... now he knew what your body looked like

He shivered as the sight of your tits crossed his mind

His hand slowly traveled to his pants zipper

God, he felt so guilty for doing this, it was so so wrong

But his cock was so so hard :(

Poor baby, was in so much pain

Leaking already!!

But the guilt was eating him alive, you were his friend...

That's why he decided to torture himself a bit, would make it all a little less wrong... if he got some punishment, you know

He started stroking his shaft and he got close so pathetically quick

And then he stopped

His heart raced. He had never edged himself before...

He waited for it to fade, before starting again. And then stopping again as he got closer

It was quite addictive... he started to let it go further each time, stroking himself fast and getting impossibly closer to release, then stopping

His cock was leaking so much that it all sounded like a wet mess, masking his ridiculous moans

He started to imagine you there, doing it, punishing him

"Gonna teach you not to spy on naked girls, you fucking perv"

And he would moan "please, Y/N, I'm so sorry..."

I mean, Donnie has an incredible imagination, it was so convincing that he even cried

All while denying his release over and over and over again

Until he couldn't hold it anymore

It was an accident </3

But his orgasm hit him out of nowhere

He cried out "no no no!" as ropes of cum shot out of his cock

He immediately stopped stroking himself and placed his hand on the base of his cock, squeezing it hard enough to hurt

He ruined his own orgasm :/

And he just laid down there looking like a pathetic mess. Tears on his face, his hand and clothes full of cum but his balls still hurt so much from not finishing it

But now he was so so overstimulated he couldn't even dream about touching himself any time soon

Eventually, he passed out from exhaustion

When he woke up the next day, he felt absolutely sick

How the hell was he supposed to see your face at school

Let's be honest, that wasn't the first time he masturbated thinking about you (number was closest to 100th tbh)

And he could always look you in the eye as if nothing happened afterwards

But it felt different now that... he had seen you for real and you knew that

Oh god... were you mad at him? You probably HATED him

He thought about calling in sick

But some force was dragging him out of that bed

He didn't understand it, but the truth was that his obsession with you grew considerably and he just needed to see you, even if you never spoke a word to him again

And part of him... enjoyed it? The idea of you punishing him like that

So yeah, he went to school that day

But he avoided you like the plague

If he saw you in a corridor, he would run in the opposite direction

Spend so much time hiding from you in the bathroom

But he couldn't hide forever

You sneaked behind him when he was looking for something on his locker

"Donnie?" You called, making him drop everything inside the locker, making a terribly loud noise, everyone looked at him

You bursted into laughter, helping him pick some things up

"Thanks." He said, completely unable to look you in the eyes.

"I think we should talk." You said calmly, after seeing how nervous he was

"Yes. Y/N, please, I can't tell you how fucking sorry I am..." he closed his eyes, cursing himself mentally for being so stupid

"It's okay, Donnie" you placed a hand securely on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. I knew you were coming over, I should have been more careful."

He held his breath as soon as your hand landed on his shoulder. It was like your touch reactivated his memories. Then he was stupid enough to look at you

You were giving him such a sweet, sincere smile

God, you were SO beautiful he felt like dropping to his knees right there

"What if you walked me home today? Then you can stay and we'll work on the project. Forget anything that happened, we need to finish it this week." You asked

"That's... that's a great idea." He nodded, even though he would rather die than go to your house anytime soon

But as soon as he saw how okay you were with everything, he calmed down a little. So your friendship wasn't ruined...

You two caught the bus and talked all the way to your neighborhood, like you always did, nothing seemed to change

Then you walked to your house and he started go get tense again

You noticed and you held his hand as you led him through the house

And it wasn't anything new, you always held his hand when he was nervous

Aww a couple of besties <3

Soon enough, he was in your bedroom, where it all happened the day before

You sat on your bed, grabbing all the books you would need, taking to yourself (cause he wasn't listening) about the ideas you had

While Donnie sat on the floor hallucinating about how that was the exact same spot you left your towel fall the day before

If it was right now, it would fall directly on his lap

Like, he didn't even dare to imagine actually touching you, but he would kill someone to have that towel

He would hump on it like a beast

Again, Donnie's imagination is so good and Donnie doesn't know when to stop

That's the source of 99% of his problems

He felt himself getting hard

"Hey, can I use your bathroom really quick?" He asked, before he started sweating in front of you

You nodded and gave him the directions

He walked in, locked the door and splashed water to his face

How the hell was he supposed to get any work done with a fucking boner on

Maybe he should just take care of it quickly in there

In your bathroom, fuck

The amount of times those walls had witnessed your naked body...

He wondered if you had ever touched yourself in there

Yeah, my boy lost his mind

Started stroking himself fast, he couldn't wait to finish and just get everything done so he could go home

But then..... he had the worst idea ever

Cause after what he discovered last night, he didn't want to finish so fast anymore

He just needed to relieve a bit of the pressure, then he would feel better

His dick would probably soften anyway, then he would do something about it back home

He stroked himself until he was on the edge of spilling... then stopped, shoving his dick inside his pants again and going back to your room

Did I mention it was the worst idea ever?

Cause he walked into the room to find you laying in bed on your belly, uniform skirt barely covering your ass

You were focused on whatever you were reading, pen in your mouth

"Come here." You called, without looking at him

He walked back to where he was sitting before, on the floor, but stopped when you said: "no, come sit on the bed, I wanna show you something"

He wanted to say 'oh no, I'm more comfortable on the floor :)' but who the fuck would buy that

He swallowed hard and sat at the very edge of the bed

He didn't want to look, but he could see your pretty little baby blue panties from that angle

And he felt like crying

"I think I have to use the bathroom again." He blurted out loud

"Donnie." You sighed, sitting down next to him. "Are you okay? You've been acting so weird today..."

He knew it wasn't a great opportunity, but it was... an opportunity. One he never had before

"No, I'm not." He admitted. "I have the biggest fucking crush in the world on you. Always had. Since we first met."

"Oh Donnie, you're so silly." You chuckled. "I know that, I asked you what's wrong with you today."

"What do you mean you know that?" His eyes widened.

"It's as obvious as that boner you're trying to cover with your hands" you shrugged

My boy was absolutely flabbergasted

He went through all shades of red the human eye can catch

"You know..." you sat a little closer to him, taking his hands in yours. "Yesterday I was so excited that you were coming over... I wanted to dress up all cute. Picked up a time we would be here alone... thought that maybe, by the end of the afternoon, I'd get you to take my clothes off. I just didn't expect you to catch me without them already... that's why I was so upset, I wanted to take things slow, you know."

He was pretty sure it was all still part of his hallucinations, there was no way you were saying that

You looked down to his pants and you could literally see his cock throbbing

And he caught the way you squeezed your tights at that

"Can I kiss you? Please..." he murmured

"Yes, Donnie." You smiled, leaning close to his lips

It was the sweetest kiss in the world

Until your hand 'accidentally' bumped into his boner :(

And he moaned against your mouth

God, that made you feral

"Donnie, baby, let me help you, you look like you're in so much pain..."

His heart raced... it was like you KNEW

Like you knew exactly what he was into

But let's be honest, he was so horny he was into absolutely everything at the moment

"You don't- you don't have to" he smiled shyly

The most beautiful smile in the world, how could you not want to??

"I'm gonna take care of you, okay?" You said as you slowly unbuttoned his jeans

When his cock jumped free before your eyes, both of you could have cried. Him, from relief. You from the most absolute desire

"Tell me what you like, baby" You began stroking him slowly

"Huh?" He got all nervous. Everyone already thought he was a freak, he didn't need you to think the same. "I-I like you..."

"Yeah?" You smiled at him. "I like you too. You're so sweet, Donnie, can I ask you something?"

He nodded, bitting him lips to prevent loud moans to escape.

"Has anyone ever sat on this pretty cock?" You asked, giving him your best doe eyes

"No..." he admitted, a little embarrassed

Before you could say anything, he grabbed your hand, screaming "stop, please, stop..."

You stopped everything, putting both hands in the air and looking at him wide eyed

"I'm so sorry, Donnie... fuck, you didn't want this? You should have told me, baby, you don't ever have to..."

"No... I wanted this. I wanted this for so long... I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you..." He said. "I just... I was about to cum."

"Well..." you laughed at him. "Isn't that kind of the point?"

Shit.

"Tell me what's on your mind, baby, I wanna help." You offered, seeing how his cock was rock hard and extremely unsatisfied

"It's just that... I like to... hold it sometimes, you know? Feels really good." He admitted, absolutely ashamed of himself

Those words, on that shy tone of his, sent a shiver down your entire body

"Donnie..." you basically moaned his name. "You're so perfect... I can't express how badly I want you, fuck..."

He smiled widely. You kissed that shit out of that gorgeous smile

When you realized, you were already straddling him

"Can I sit on your cock, please? I swear I won't let you cum until you beg me, okay?" You asked

He never agreed to anything that fast, my boy was in HEAVEN

You removed your panties and he helped you slowly sink on his cock

You don't remember ever being that wet before, but it still hurt a bit, because he was so big :)

He was so horny he felt like he might pass out

And then you started moving up and down, up and down

Oh sweet baby boy cried again :(

I mean... all that was happening would be enough to get him desperate, but let's not forget how last night all he got was half of the worst orgasm ever

My boy was starving

"Please, please, stop, I..." he said, and you immediately stopped everything

"Oh baby..." you brought a hand to his face, wiping his tears. "Stop torturing yourself... three times in a row? Let go for me, baby, come on... can I make you cum? Please?"

Yeah, you said you were gonna make him beg, but you were the one who did it, i know

It's just that... Donnie is just a little baby who doesn't know when to stop :(

Of course he said yes, you asked so politely

You removed his cock from you, cause letting him cum inside would be too much for the first time

Considering the state he was in, it could send him to a coma lol

You stroked him so good, prasing him the entire time

"You look so pretty right now, baby, all fucked up for me"

"Come on, I want you go let go for me, you can do it, baby, you deserve it..."

Fuck, he never came that fucking hard in his life

You kept stroking and he kept shooting him load, all over your school uniform :/

He cried out so beautifully and you swore he wasn't coming down ever, he came so muchhh <333

And he just likes the pain of you still stroking his sensitive cock after it was over

Yeah, Donnie doesn't know when to stop :(

[goldfades]

38. "stay with me, please? i need you tonight. maybe for the rest of my life, if you're generous."

with jamie!

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 | jd⁹

♡ ─ word count | 1.6k

♡ ─ warnings | hurt/comfort, ANGST!! jamie being an asshole (but it was lowkey justified), mention of his injury/trade :((, thats all!

♡ ─ ev's notes | okay listen i forgot the prompt but the last few paragraphs basically describe what the prompt conveys if that makes sense, i still hope u enjoy it nonnie 😭🩷

Jamie had a pretty hard season, with him moving to Philadelphia unexpectedly and him being injured had really gotten to him. He's spent the last two weeks at home recovering and trying to get better as soon as he could, he wanted to be back on the ice as soon as possible. His injury added another layer of frustration. The pain, both physical and emotional, weighed heavily on him. Hockey had always been his sanctuary, and the forced break on top of the trade felt like the whole universe was against him.

You entered the condo, sighing with exhaustion. The last couple months had been frustrating for you as well, but it didn't even come close to how Jamie was feeling. As you entered the small condo, you heard the shower running and assumed it was Jamie.

You put down everything and began starting on dinner, Jamie probably hadn't eaten anything except breakfast. You were worried for him, more than you could ever express. You'd always had faith in him even in the lowest of the lows but he had never been this low in his entire career. He'd always been a determined person but right now, it really did feel like the odds were stacked up against him.

You wanted to do everything in your power to make him happy again, even if it was for a fleeting moment before the world closing on him again. The smell of a home-cooked meal began to fill the air as you moved around the kitchen, chopping vegetables and preparing a comforting dish.

As you worked, your thoughts lingered on Jamie's struggles - the trade, the injury, and the emotional toll it all took on him. You understood the importance of hockey in his life, how it served as a source of purpose. Tonight, you wanted to provide not just a meal but a reminder that he wasn't alone in this struggle, no matter what happens.

As your timer beeped, indicating that dinner was ready, you set the table, adorned with comforting dishes. The shower turned off, and soon Jamie emerged, his weariness evident in his movements. You gave him a warm smile, opening up your arms for a hug.

"I made your favorite,"

He slumped down to your height and embraced you tightly, sighing. You let him hug you before he slipped away from the embrace, and you could feel the tension in his shoulders as he did. The weariness in his pretty eyes spoke volumes, but so did the gratitude for the effort you put into making the evening a little brighter.

"Thank you," Jamie murmured, his voice a mixture of fatigue and appreciation. He walked over to the table and sat down as you brought waters from the fridge before sitting with him.

"How was your day?" You asked gently as you settled into the seat, glancing up to watch him.

"It was fine." He responded shortly as he began eating the food, avoiding your gaze. You knew he didn't want to come off bitter but it stung, you tried your best to not to take it personal. "You?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," you replied with a light chuckle, trying to maintain a casual tone. "Work had its moments, but nothing too exciting. I did manage to catch up with Maya over the phone today, she said she missed us back in California."

You knew you had messed up as you heard Jamie's fork hit the plate, the sound echoing throughout the apartment. Shit, I shouldn't have mentioned California. You looked up and caught his tired gaze as he sighed.

"I'm sorry," you offered softly, regret lacing your words. "I didn't mean to bring up anything that might upset you. It's just habit to share little updates about people we know, you know?"

Jamie took a deep breath, and you could see the effort it took for him to compose himself. "It's okay," he finally replied, though the strain in his voice betrayed the words. "I just... miss the way things used to be."

His vulnerability hung in the air, and you felt a pang of empathy. The unexpected move to Philadelphia had disrupted not only his career but also the familiar life you both had in California. You reached across the table, gently placing your hand over his. "I miss it too, Jamie. But we'll make new memories here. It just takes time."

He sighed and pulled his hand away from yours, your chest squeezing in hurt. He took the fork and continued to eat, choosing to stay silent. You didn't know why he was being so distant, so cold. You hated it but you couldn't resent him for it, you knew it wasn't his fault. That still didn't mean it didn't hurt, though.

The room seemed to shrink with the silence, the only sound was the clinking of cutlery against the plate. The unspoken tension between you and Jamie hung heavy in the air and despite your attempt to offer comfort, he withdrew further into his thoughts. As he continued to eat in silence, you couldn't shake the ache in your chest. The distance, both physical and emotional, left you feeling like a spectator in Jamie's struggle, unable to bridge the gap that seemed to widen with each passing moment.

You had never had this problem with Jamie before, he communicated everything he felt so that it was easier for the both of you so this was new territory. What had changed? Why was he retreating into this new, silent version of himself? The questions lingered, unanswered, amplifying the sense of helplessness.

With a heavy sigh, you set your fork down, the clatter against the plate echoing the unease in the room. "Jamie," you began tentatively, your voice soft but carrying the weight of your concern. "I hate seeing you like this, I just want to help."

Jamie had finally slammed the fork down, looking up at you with agitated playing on his face. "You can't fucking help me, Y/N. Do you get that, is that simple enough for you? I can't breathe around you without you looking at me and trying to analyze it and help me. You look at me like I'm some kind of burden you need to carry, and I'm sick of it."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, the raw emotion behind them stinging more than any physical blow. It was a side of Jamie you hadn't encountered before, and the harshness in his tone took you aback. There was silence as you both stared at each other and you saw the regret slowly seep into Jamie's expression.

You took a moment to collect yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat before finally speaking. "I never meant to make you feel like a burden. I just care about you, and seeing you struggle hurts. I thought we could face it together, like we always have."

He lowered his gaze, a visible conflict playing out in his eyes. The regret painted across his face was palpable, and for a moment, it seemed like he was grappling with the weight of his words. "I know I messed up," Jamie finally admitted, his voice softer now, remorse evident. "It's just... everything feels like too much right now, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, baby."

The pet name rolled off his tongue like honey as he spoke and you could see the old Jamie come back slowly as you gazed at him. You nodded, acknowledging the complexity of the emotions that had fueled his outburst.

"Everything will be easier if you just talk to me, Jamie." You paused, choosing your words carefully. "I want to understand, Jamie. I want to be there for you," you continued, your voice gentle but firm. "We can face whatever it is together. Just talk to me. Please."

He sighed, the conflict in his eyes softening. "I know, Y/N. I just... I'm not used to all of this. The move, the injury, it's like my whole world got turned upside down, and I don't know how to understand it."

You reached across the table, your hand finding his. "We'll figure it out together. You don't have to carry it all on your own. I hate seeing you hurt like this, baby."

He squeezed your hand, the warmth of the gesture was filled with gratitude. "I don't want to push you away, Y/N. I just... I've always been the one who had it all figured out, you know? But this, it's different. It's overwhelming."

"You don't have to have it all figured out, Jamie. We'll navigate through this together. It's okay not to be okay, you don't have to play the part because at the end of the day, you're just human."

He nodded, a mixture of emotions flickering in his eyes. "I'm just scared of losing everything, of losing myself in all of this mess."

The weight of his fears hung in the air, and you leaned in, your thumb gently caressing his hand. "You won't lose yourself, Jamie. I'm here to help you find your way back. We'll take it one step at a time."

For a moment, he hesitated, the weight of vulnerability hanging in the air. Then, slowly, he began to open up. The words spilled out, frustration, fear, and the overwhelming pressure he felt. As he spoke, you listened, offering support.

After the conversation, you laid next to him in the bed, his head laying on your chest. The silence was comfortable as you both began to seep into sleep, enveloped in one another. Your fingers gently traced soothing patterns on his back as you held him close, your presence a reassurance that he wasn't alone ever.

The soft rhythm of his breathing matched the steady beat of your heart, as Jamie shifted slightly, his fingers finding yours in the darkness.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[despairsphantomwrites]

Healed Scars (Part II) - Wanda Maximoff x Stark!Reader

A/N: It's been a thousand close to three years now I think? Two probably? Without writing so please excuse the obviously rusty skills 😭 Apologies as well for any mistranslation, as I'm not particularly fluent in Russian either.

Disclamer: None of the characters on this piece are mine, they belong to Marvel.

Healed Scars (Pt. I)

Part 2 of 2.

A soft knock on the glass doors of the lab snapped you back into reality, glancing up and away from the hundreds of blueprints and notes scattered along the table.

"Something wrong?" You hum, confused as you find Wanda silently staring.

"No, just wondering if you're going to join for movie night."

"Sorry, don't share Steve's passion for classics." Chuckling, you focus back on the notes scribbled almost haphazardly.

"Mind if I stay with you?"

You motioned for her to come inside, and she obliged with a murmured 'thank you', eyes roaming freely around the area.

A pleasant silence had enveloped the room, save from the rustling of papers and the whirring of machines in the background. Every now and then, she could also hear you quietly humming to yourself, pausing only to correct some of the notes before resuming the gentle tune.

She couldn't help but freeze as her gaze landed on a familiar, dreadful sight.

"You can get rid of it if you so wish." You mused, taking notice of her not so subtle glare towards an old picture of the Stark Industries factory. "I'm not sure why dad kept it around, but I doubt he'd care if it suddenly went missing."

Wanda didn't reply, fingers twitching as her hands rested on the table. It would be oh so satisfying, to indulge in your offer and tear the image apart, along with some of the memories that would forever haunt her and her brother.

"…No."

Your eyes snapped up to meet hers, a silent question swirling openly in them, waiting for the brunette to continue.

"It would be like wasting all the effort we put into starting from scratch."

"The self-restraint is truly admirable."

If she had anything else to add, it was soon forgotten as a blur entered the lab, threatening to send the papers flying as it stopped just beside the young witch.

"Sorry."

"No harm done Speedy." Rearranging the notes that had scattered, you look up at him. "What brings you here?"

"I was looking for my dear twin sister, but seems like she found good company already." He teased, ruffling her hair slightly. You couldn't help but chuckle yet again when Wanda smacked his shoulder, blushing from embarrassment.

“вести себя (Behave.)” Wanda muttered, eyes flashing red playfully towards the speedster.

“вы не хотите, чтобы они знали? (You don’t want them to know?)”

“Заткнись (Shut up.)” She mumbled, not missing the smirk on his face. The moment was quite short-lived though as another knock interrupts the scene.

"Suit up kid, last minute mission."

"On it, Cap." You called out to the retreating soldier, reaching out to grab a small device and attaching it to your chest. "See you two around."

It had been close to a full day already.

The mission was a success, giving Tony an excuse (much to everyone's dismay) to throw yet another party.

Wanda glanced around, green eyes dancing along the crowd as she nursed another drink. It felt so foreign to her, abnormal even. She almost missed the relative peacefulness of your lab, silently cursing whoever was currently in charge of the operation for assigning you last minute.

She took a sip, attempting to drown out the barrage of thoughts intruding her mind, gasping as she focused on a new presence.

"Not enjoying the party?"

You barely had time to react before the air got knocked out of your lungs along with a pained groan, feeling her arms snaking around your frame in a bonecrushing hug.

"Looks like someone really missed me."

"Are you alright? Steve said comms were gone for a good while."

"Just a couple bruises, suit's seen better days though."

Wanda nodded absentmindedly, only now noticing the few cuts visible along your hands and face. One of her hands moved to gently caress a bruise forming around your eye.

"Now, what's gotten you into such a sour mood?"

"I just… feel out of place."

"Not one for crowds?"

"Not really, no." She sighed, observing across the room as her twin laughed and mingled with the guests. "Too loud for me."

"Physically or mentally?" You mused, earning a wince from the sokovian girl. "I'll take that as both."

"Can't we just go somewhere else? Please."

You debated the request for a moment, eyes drifting around in search for any familiar faces, finally landing on Natasha. As soon as the russian met your gaze you pointed up, earning a subtle nod from the spy.

"Let's go then, little witch."

As soon as you reached the rooftop, Wanda let out a sigh of relief. She leaned against the railing, allowing the soft breeze to soothe her even further.

"So you do have good ideas every now and then." The brunette quipped, knowing this area would be off-limits.

"I'm starting to believe that I'm a terrible influence on you, Maximoff."

The laugh that fell from her lips left you awestruck. It warmed your heart seeing the amount of progress in such a short time.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Wan-"

"No, I mean it." At your puzzled expression, she continued. "For helping me and Pietro adjust. We weren't exactly welcome at first, and the way we treated you all wasn't ideal either."

You hum in acknowledgement, settling by her side. You couldn't help but wonder if they'd have adapted faster if someone else had stepped up. Someone who wasn't a constant reminder of their past struggles.

"Stop that." Your eyes shift to meet her stern gaze. "You're thinking too loud. You're not-"

"-responsible for what happened, I know. And yet I can't imagine how it must have felt relying on someone whose name was engraved on the very same thing that ruined your life, your childhood."

"Stubborn as your father." The young witch huffed as she tenderly grasped your face, tugging you closer.

Wanda smirked as soon as her lips touched yours, effectively silencing your spiraling mind. The brief contact left you breathless, heart pounding wildly as you stared dumbfounded.

"Stop ripping open already healed scars." She murmured, thumbs gently caressing your skin. "I couldn't have asked for a better person to help us."

"There's people far more approachable than me." The glare you received was downright terrifying, head tilting ever so slightly. "Okay okay, I'm shutting up."

"You're incorrigible. But… I suppose that's part of your charm."

"Suppose?"

"Don't push it, Stark."

************************************

I may or may not have lost the file where I kept all the users from the taglist, so feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to the new one 🙏

[riitah]

[lover's quarrel] - gojo satoru x fem!reader

*sorry, i forgot to tag this: spoilers for jjk 0, but it's only mentioned in like one sentence and it's a very small detail SYNOPSIS: you and gojo got into your first argument as a couple, but you didn't expect him to come forward to apologize first. WORD COUNT: 1.3k HONORABLE MENTION: special thanks to my beta reader “henry rumpelstiltskin III of the nuclear sock kingdom”! :DD AUTHOR'S NOTE: egocentric fictional men who apologize first>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> - (he'd apologize first because I said so) - (he'd also be so embarrassed about it because i said so) - (because y'know. he probably never apologizes first. except this time.) - (holy crap i hope this isn't too ooc like i've never seen him get into an argument with anyone before 😭😭😭)

You. The couch. And the deafening silence.

It wasn't like you and Satoru haven't gotten into arguments before; back in high school, he loved to bother the crap out of you when you were busy doing something that required your full attention, and many of these button-pushing sessions led to full-blown arguments where the two of you hurled insult after insult at each other (though they were more of a one-sided thing, because he just laughed at you and your reddening face, asking if that was all you got). And Shoko and Suguru would watch all the while, one enjoying the entertainment she was getting and the other patiently waiting for a moment where he could calm the both of you down.

But this argument was different. It wasn't some small fight between teenagers that the two of you would forget in a few days. Heck, it might even last a few days instead, now that Suguru wasn't here.

Suguru.

You sighed, remembering that you fought with him, too. Figuratively and literally.

You sunk into the soft seat and leaned your head against the back cushion, letting out a loud groan.

Should I just apologize and get this over with?

After all, knowing your boyfriend, he'd be way too prideful to say sorry first.

Right. Boyfriend. Maybe even soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.

You tightly clutched the hem of your shirt at the thought, your heart feeling heavy. The remnants of the feud buried themselves deep into your chest, pulling and clawing at it as if it was trying to rip something out of there. It hurt knowing that the relationship you were once so happy to establish might not last as long as you thought it would.

Your best friend and your boyfriend; two heartbreaks, two people lost.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back tears. The room gradually grew darker and darker as the sun set in the distance, a painful reminder to you that Satoru had been gone for hours. Pulling your knees to your chest, you rocked back and forth, wondering where he could be this late.

Certainly not at some club, right...?

Your stomach twisted in a way you couldn't explain, and you let out a choked sob.

He can't be. He's not like that.

But Satoru had never been romantically involved with anyone before you. So how did you know what to expect?

You felt your fingernails digging into your skin, hard enough to make it bleed. You hated the way the scenarios were running through your head, the way none of them were him coming home to you without smelling of sickly sweet perfume and without having lipstick stains all over his neck. It was truly a different kind of pain knowing that someone who had declared his love for you merely six hours before could take it all back in an instant.

This is all so, so stupid. Maybe this was a mistake from the start.

Grabbing your coat that was lying right next to you, you stood up to leave.

Maybe a break would serve the both of us some good.

You put it on, not bothering to zip up the front.

I never should've said yes.

You walked towards the door, your footsteps soft, hesitant, and gradually slowing down to a stop when you arrived. You reached for the doorknob, still unsure of your decision. Your hand hovered in midair as you looked down at your feet, warm tears still streaking down your cheeks.

Is this really the right thing to do?

You couldn't think straight, or pinpoint what exactly you felt. Anger? Worry? Dread? The different emotions were all mixed into one, forced down your throat and into the pit of your stomach, with the sole purpose of breaking you from inside out.

You didn't want to think about anything anymore.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath before wrapping your hand around the doorknob, and--

The door flew backwards, striking against your palm. Your eyes opened in surprise, darting from the doorknob to the tall man that stood in front of you.

Neither of you said a word.

You were rooted to the spot, your legs frozen. Beads of sweat rolled down your back, tickling you, futilely trying to distract you from the situation at hand. Your hands felt clammy, your breath was stuck uncomfortably in your throat, and a single tear awkwardly slid its way down the side of your face, seemingly not getting the memo.

Satoru stared back at you, his sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, slightly crooked. His blue eyes blinked at you, with a hint of confusion behind them. He was also slightly panting, you realized as you saw his shoulders slightly heave up and down from the corner of your eye.

"...(Y/N)?" His voice was gentle, void of any anger, unlike the tone he had used with you just hours before.

You didn't reply in fear of breaking down in front of him, in fear of coming off as some kind of victim when the fault was yours as much as it was his.

"What are you... Were you leaving? Were you crying?"

He sounded so confused, so worried. He touched your wet cheek, brushing against it with his calloused hand.

"Toru, where were you?" Your voice was barely audible.

One second passed. And then two.

Please tell me that you didn't give up on us.

And then three. And four.

The silence dragged on. And your hope dwindled along with it.

"Toru, I..." you said hoarsely.

Your heart dropped when you finally smelled the faint trace of perfume. The very same sickly-sweet smell you had been afraid of.

It can't be.

Can it?

"Were you...kissing some other girl?" Your voice cracked a little.

"What?! No!" His eyes widened as he frantically shook his head, and then he exhaled and furrowed his brows. "Was that why you were crying?"

You nodded meekly, feeling as though you were about to cry all over again. "I thought you'd want to break up with me."

"I'd never." You felt his lips press against your forehead, the warmth still lingering even after he pulled away. "And..." He dropped his hand to his side and glanced away, preoccupied with something on the floor, his voice quiet, sincere. "I'm...sorry."

Now it was your turn to widen your eyes. Did he just...apologize?

He peeked at you, and then grinned when he saw your expression. "Dumbfounded, aren't you? You should be honored to be the first and only person I've ever apologized t--mmph!"

All of the sadness seemed to have evaporated from your body as you grabbed his face with one hand, bringing it close. "Do that again."

He squinted at you. "I got you flowers," he suggested, squirming in your grasp. "And perfume too, so if you smell that on me, that's probably from the shop." A pause, waiting for you to let go. "And chocolate." Another pause, a smirk forming on his face. "Sexy lingeri--?"

You gave him a deadpan stare before he could finish.

"Kidding, kidding! Obviously." He laughed, the sound filling your stomach with butterflies. "So does that mean you forgive me?"

You sighed, nodding, letting go of him. "I'm really sorry, too. It was a stupid thing to argue over."

"Well, that marks the end of our first lover's quarrel!" He readjusted his glasses and smiled at you before bringing his left hand out from behind his back. "Good thing, because my arm was about to start cramping--"

You didn't register the rest of his words as he showed off the items he bought for you, your mind still trying to process what had just happened.

Toru knows how to apologize...

Surprised? Happy? Maybe giddy? Or all three?

You let a giggle slip, and he turned to you, the bouquet of flowers in his hands raised like a trophy.

"What're you laughing at?"

"Nothing."

You pulled in by the collar for a taste of his soft lips, whispering against them a quiet "I love you."

[mercuriians]

can't remember to forget you

content warning — some profanity, mentions of alcohol, references to terminal illness. reader’s last name is mentioned once for plot purposes later on.

author’s note — HI YALL 🥴 this is totally unedited & i wrote this at 12am. i just wanted to get this out as quickly as possible so bare with me. as a fair warning there is a LOT to unpack with the reader’s backstory, and to be honest 90% of this fic is literally just you brooding over kenji LMAO 😭. this is basically just an experiment so if u guys like this plz let me know so i can write a follow up!!

you really have no idea as to how such an important piece of information slipped your mind. two of japan's most recent superstar athletes were returning home at the exact same time. it would've brought a smile to your face in any other situation. if only those two athletes hadn't been you and him. kenji.

it's been years since you two have spoken. well, those years were spent productively, with both of you dedicating much-needed time towards your respective sports. he rocked the baseball field. you shone on the basketball court. but at the end of the day, behind all the sweat and arena lights and post-game interviews, there was a sharp pain that remained unresolved at the back of your mind. the last memory you have of kenji is still freshly imprinted. you had been at his house, and having recently heard the devastating news of your mother being terribly ill, you had come to him seeking comfort. little did you know that he was hurting too, with another fight having just happened between him and his father.

there was so much going on at the time, so much to worry about and so much pain in general, that all the pent-up feelings between you two had burst within one crucial moment. he kissed you, and you kissed back. clothes came off. you ended up in his bed. for a while it had felt like heaven because yes, it distracted you from the worry that consumed you from the inside out, but it had also made your most secretive wishes come to fruition.

until that moment, only you had known how deeply and utterly in love you were with kenji, and how strongly those feelings had grown since you two were fourteen.

there was nothing else that could have made you happier. even now, you remember the feeling of his strong arms around you, the feeling of his mouth against yours. the way your name rolled off his tongue so smoothly, so adoringly, as he whispered it into your ear. the way he hugged you so firmly after you two made love, as if he was afraid that you would disappear.

but then you also remember how something in him changed only a few seconds later. how the atmosphere grew dark the moment he pushed you off and told you to leave without even looking you in the eye. there's a part of you that wants to think kenji didn't mean to hurt you the way he did. it's the more naive, more hopeful part of yourself, spinning stories of how he actually didn't want you to leave, and he just said it because he didn't know how to cope with his own feelings. ultimately, it's all wishful thinking, borne out of a desire to believe that he maybe did really love you.

kenji broke your heart that night, and right now, even as you board the plane headed to tokyo, even as you put on a smile and sign an autograph for a starstruck fan, you admit that not a single thing has changed. you're still holding onto the past, and you hate yourself for it. especially when you realize that kenji probably moved on a long time ago.

"you alright?" your agent, himari, asks when you two sit down. she's one of the sweetest people ever, and you really don't want to lie to her because of the guilt that you know you'll feel. you meet her hazel eyes. you open your mouth to respond.

"yeah, i'm fine," you smile.

damn it.

as the plane takes off, you do your best to remove kenji from your mind, if only for a little while. perhaps inevitably, you start thinking about the very reason you've decided to finally come home. exactly two nights ago, there was a dream you had while you were sleeping. it was vivid in its entirety, and there was fire and people screaming and something very, very big in the distance, in front of what seemed like a sports arena. conveniently enough, there was some sort of fog surrounding the mysterious figure, but you didn't need to see it to know what it actually was. a kaiju.

you remember the words your mother told you before she passed away. it was an extremely painful memory, and really there was nothing in the world that could have encapsulated how helpless you felt when you saw her frail figure. she used to be so strong, so lively with everything she did and said. it took you a while to recognize the woman that laid in the hospital bed. however even with the tears that had stung your vision at the time, you heard the very last traces of her resolve within the very last words she said to you.

"when you're old enough, i want you to start what i couldn't. . to protect the world with the gift i'll give you. please. . just remember that i love you, and that it's worth giving things a second chance."

as you stare out of the plane window, watching the world pass by below you, the clouds mix together and blur into a white haze. a moment later, you realize that tears are threatening to fall from your eyes. you wipe them away with your sleeve before they have the chance to. i'll do my best, mom, you think, hoping that somehow she can hear you. i don't know where or how i'll start, but i will.

there's a lot of things waiting for you in japan, and you're not entirely sure if you're ready. but at the end of the day, it's your home, and you know deep within your heart that you'll do anything to protect it. sliding your sunglasses onto your face, you close your eyes and try to get some rest before the plane lands.

around twelve hours later, tokyo is there to greet you in all its glory. it's night time, but the way the city lights contrast so beautifully against the sky's inky blue-black canvas is more than enough to bring a smile to your face. "we're home, himari," you say to the woman next to you.

"we are, indeed," she breathes out.

“man, not even los angeles can compete against this,” you chuckle lightly. your words carry quite a lot of weight to them, especially considering how you were completely and utterly starstruck for the first couple of weeks you were in california. there’s a reason so many movies were filmed there. yet, tokyo remains on another level, still reigning as the undefeated champion.

fine. maybe you’re a little biased.

however, your smile fades away when you realize that the probability of seeing him—kenji—is at an all time high. chances are, he’s already here. waiting for you.

stop that.

you shrug off the thought, reminding yourself that he had probably moved on years ago. there was no use in entertaining an idea that had been burnt out for a long time. the only person that would end up being hurt would be yourself—and speaking from experience, emotional distress was a lot different than physical. physical pain you could handle. as a basketball star, you were pretty accustomed to them by now. ankle sprains, muscle cramps, even that torn acl from a year ago, which had hurt like an absolute bitch.

emotional pain was entirely different territory. and it was territory that you were not willing to cross. not again.

god, you were such a mess. maybe indulging in a momentary distraction wouldn’t hurt.

“hey, himari, you wanna know what i’m cravin’ right now?” you ask, a false smile creeping onto your face. the woman in question gives you a wary look, brows slightly scrunched together as if she already knows what you’re going to say.

“a good night’s rest before your interview tomorrow?” she asks flatly.

you shake your head. “alcohol. lots of it.”

“ms. matsuda, i don’t think that’s a smart decision—”

waving her off, you protest, “just for tonight, i promise. we’re back home and i wanna celebrate. and how many times have i told you to call me by my first name?”

himari stares at you for a few moments before lowering her head and heaving a sigh. “fine. . [name]. please take care of yourself out there. and be prepared—i’m sure quite a lot of people will recognize you when you walk into the bar.”

you smile in triumph, holding up your sunglasses. “i’ve got that covered. sure, having these on at night are a little weird, but i’ll just pass it off as the new trend.”

your agent gives you another slightly concerned look before bidding you a good night. and with that, you start walking to the nearest bar. it’s small, inconspicuous, and lit up with only one neon sign. all good indicators that there’s probably not a lot of people in there. you walk in, head held high, without any trouble. your footsteps are light and unhurried against the wooden floor as your eyes quickly scan the environment—eleven or twelve people, give or take, two bartenders, a potted plant over by the corner. and a vacant stool at the far end. perfect.

sliding into the seat, you drum your fingers on the freshly cleaned counter as you decide on what to order. “the denki bran looks good, think i’ll get that,” you mutter to yourself.

you feel someone take the stool next to you, but you don’t pay it much mind. at least until they reply to your words. “yeah, it is good. pretty bold choice, though.”

your mouth drops open.

you hear the person next to you snicker quietly.

the snail-esque speed at which you turn your head would have been comical if it had been any other situation. however, it’s anything but funny when your heart jumps into your throat, when your eyes widen with pure and unadulterated shock as they meet those of familiar gunmetal gray bordering on black.

kenji gives you a sharp grin that’s only a little bit sheepish. “nice to see you again, ace.”

[kislnd]

silent treatment - george clarke~

synopsis: george leaves y/n wondering what their relationship is, a brief encounter between them gives him the chance to clarify.

notes: noticing i clearly love a cheeky fwb plot 😭 i promise i have other plots stored in the drafts (also the fact this was not the george fic i was talking about in my previous post loool expect that one eventually)

requests are also open!

warnings: slightly mature & angsty, mentions of alcohol

word count: ~2.9k

masterlist

y/n found herself mindlessly checking her notifications yet again. as expected, there was nothing new. stop it, pull yourself together, she mentally cursed herself - never in a million years did she think a man could have this effect on her. usually she was fairly good at moving on, independence had always been her thing, but this time it was definitely different and she didn't know why. quite frankly it was scary, although she did feel like this unexplored territory was equally exciting as it was terrifying. over the past week y/n had been unable to shake him from her mind, flashes of their time spent together plague her mind - the way his hands felt on her body, the look in his eyes before he kissed her, the way he tasted. memories like those couldn't simply go away, nor did she really want them to.

"you're just being pathetic now," she said aloud to herself, "and now you're talking to yourself like a crazy person." y/n knew she needed to get out and get her mind off him, which once again, she did think was a little pathetic - it's not like she was going through a break up or anything nearly as painful as she was making it out to be. she shook away her thoughts and pulled out her phone, this time ignoring all of her notifications, and any thoughts of george, and opened a group chat of her closest girlfriends.

is anyone down to come out for drinks tonight?

she hit send on the message and waited, realistically she knew her friends were always raring to come out so their replies wouldn't be anything she didn't already know. more often than not they were the ones to drag y/n out for some fresh air. sure enough after a few minutes most of them had replied with a series of excited agreements.

the evening came around quickly. luckily y/n had already raided her entire wardrobe earlier in the day in a bid to distract herself, so her outfit was ready along with the right shoes to match. she had even gone as far as scouring pinterest for a few makeup looks that would compliment the colours of her outfit.

//

living near the centre of london had both its pros and cons but right now, y/n was just thankful that her walk to the chosen bar was only very short. as she stood in front of the establishment nerves crept up inside her. what even was there to be nervous about? it was just another evening out with her friends, people she had known forever. moreover, she had been to this exact bar several times, hell she could probably even name the regulars at this point. "sorry, excuse me," a low voice came from behind her, causing her to jump to the side. "sorry," she mumbled, glancing at the man who appeared to be carrying far more cocktails than his hands could comfortably allow. the night was getting cooler now and she anticipated her friends were probably waiting for her inside and had been for some time, either that or they were watching the whole ordeal from the window and would laugh at her later. you'll feel better once you get inside, y/n told herself and with that, she turned and walked briskly to the entrance.

her friends were not hard to find, despite not even being drunk yet they managed to be some of the loudest people in the room. y/n smiled at the sounds of their chattering and squeezed through the hoards of people swarming the bar to reach their table and sat down with them. for the first time in a week, she finally felt at ease, like she could fully loosen up with no worries.

//

"can you get me another vodka coke please?" y/n's friend pleaded for the third time, drawing out the 'e'. "god you do whinge," y/n rolled her eyes playfully, "but i will, only if you promise to shut up." the group laughed, a little too hard - at that moment y/n could confirm she was the most sober there. however, it was out of self preservation. she knew in the morning everything would come flooding back to her and she didn't fancy wallowing in her own pity with a headache. the bar was quite empty, y/n thought, especially in comparison to how it had been earlier, but that was definitely because everyone else was too drunk to not be up dancing. she was honestly grateful there was a clear path towards a bartender who didn't appear to be serving anyone.

"hi, could i get a vodka coke please?" she asked the bartender, who she could now see was mopping up a puddle of what was probably various alcohols. "sure, just give me one sec." the bartender smiled and continued soaking the puddle up. "no problem," y/n shot him a warm smile and leant against the bar, watching intently. judging by the sheer volume of liquid she didn't anticipate 'one sec' would be anything remotely close to one second.

"excuse me mate," y/n was ripped from her thoughts by an uncomfortably familiar voice, one that she simultaneously craved hearing and never wanted to hear again. she snapped her head around to the opposite end of the bar, where she spotted him. george was stood, trying to get the attention of another bartender who was busy shelving some bottles. she wasn't sure if this was some kind of sick joke, the one person she was trying to get away from had somehow magically appeared in front of her. if there was a god, she was sure he was punishing her. naturally, her bartender was still busy with the puddle - a puddle that was barely even visible now. why he couldn't leave the droplets for a moment and serve her, y/n didn't understand. she couldn't wait to get away from the bar and he wouldn't be able to conjure the drink up in a split second. to be honest, she wasn't even sure she cared to return to her table with the drink.

y/n couldn't help but steal another glance at george. he was still just as attractive, if not more attractive than she remembered. the way his biceps flexed as he rested his arms on the edge of the bar, his perfect smile as he thanked the bartender for the drink... y/n knew she should tear her eyes away from him but she just couldn't do it. she was weak and not even sorry about it.

her eyes widened as she realised not only was george staring dead at her, he was also drawing closer to her. everything inside her was telling her to run away, run away from this man who didn't even have the decency to reply to her messages, run away from this man who gave her such mixed signals she didn't even know if he loved or hated her. yet her feet seemed unable to budge, the alarm bells ringing in her head were not enough to sway her heart.

"if your mouth opens any wider, you'll dislocate your jaw," george chuckles, placing his drink down at the bar. "that's hilarious," y/n says in the flattest, most sarcastic tone she could manage. "what?" george quirks an eyebrow at her in genuine confusion, standing up and moving closer to her. "i said-" y/n began but abruptly stopped as george placed his hands on her hips and guided her towards the door.

"what are you doing?" y/n swore her heart stopped, how could the same man that had been ghosting her be so comfortable with touching her like that? did he not feel any shame? in a matter of moments, a rush of cold air washed over y/n as george led her out of the threshold of the bar, and it wasn't unpleasant. "the music was too loud, i couldn't hear anything you were saying," he said, walking over to some seating and gesturing for her to join him. y/n followed him and took a seat opposite him but stayed silent, she wasn't sure she wanted to speak to him, nor did she even know what to say.

"what brings you to the bar?" george asks, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness. he genuinely did want to talk to y/n but wasn't sure how or what to say to her, so settling on a generic question like that seemed to be his best bet. "avoiding you actually," y/n almost laughs at the situation, she was also very aware that inside the bar there would be a confused bartender likely with a vodka coke ready for absolutely no one to receive, "but it seems you just appear and disappear as you please." now it was george that stayed silent for a moment, "i deserved that."

"too right, now if you'll excuse me, i have a drink waiting for me inside," y/n stands up to leave, she was not in the mood for this conversation. if george could easily ignore her for days on end then her leaving one conversation for another day would be more than reasonable. "wait y/n-" george stands up quickly and grabs her arm, "can you please hear me out?" genuine hurt could be heard in his voice, for a second y/n thought about just jumping into his arms and telling him she forgave him. that thought was only fleeting though, she decided to retain her dignity and just listen to what he had to say instead. this is for me, not him, she affirmed in her mind before turning back towards him, "fine."

"this might sound really stupid," george starts, "but it's true and i can't believe i am even about to say it." y/n nods hesitantly, she wasn't sure how he could make himself seem any more stupid. "i guess i'm not used to feeling this way, like," he pauses, "properly in love." y/n was dumbfounded, she opened her mouth to speak but no words would dare come out. "i got scared and tried to hide. and in the process hurt you," george looks at her with sad eyes, pleading her to say something. "what you're saying is that you couldn't reply because you love me? like love love me?" y/n could no longer hide her shock, in fact she was beginning to question if this was even actually happening. "i guess so?" george scratches the back of his neck nervously, "look, i'm sorry. i didn't intend to ghost you, i just didn't want to scare you by coming off too strong." he moves closer and tucks a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, "you're the first person i have been fully serious about." silence hung over them, y/n really did think for a second that she was going to pass out.

"i don't know if you are believing me," george sighs, defeated. "please say something." y/n tried to find her words, too much had just happened and she needed a moment to process it. the truth is she did believe him, she knew deep down all along that he was a good guy. "prove it." y/n says with a grin, "prove that you're as serious as you say you are." george raises an eyebrow at her sudden change of tone, "are you sure you can handle it?" a cocky smile forming on his face. "absolutely," y/n giggles, "do your worst."

without wasting another moment, george presses his lips to hers harshly. the kiss was hungry and desperate, like he had waited entirely too long to taste her again and he needed it. his tongue slips into her mouth, savouring every inch of it. this kiss was different, before they had been lustful, open mouthed, sloppy kisses - the kind that happened in the heat of the moment - but this kiss was so slow and so sensual and y/n could feel george pouring so much love into it that she felt it would be impossible to break apart from him.

george pulls away first to catch his breath. "is that enough proof?" he smirks, looking at her with blown out pupils, slightly swollen lips and pink dusting his cheeks. "i'm not sure, i might need a second one to confirm," y/n smiles cheekily, george rolls his eyes but bends down to lightly peck her on the lips. "there is more where that came from by the way," he laughs, "this just isn't the ideal setting."

"hopefully we can do this again sometime," she wiggles her eyebrows at him and laughs, "but we should really get inside, it's freezing," y/n ushers him back towards the entrance, "and i was supposed be back at my table with my friend's drink probably like half an hour ago." george's eyes widened, "oh god. she'll think you died en route or something!" truthfully, y/n was hardly worried about that, she knew her friends could be dramatic when they were drunk but she strongly doubted they were about to file a missing persons report or anything of the sort. "i'll just act naturally don't worry." she grins, "i'm good at that."

"yeah sure, really natural of you to spend an excessive amount of time staring at me from across the bar and then freeze up the second i moved towards you." george returns the grin, "seriously, i could literally feel your eyes boring into my skull."

"so dramatic, i did not stare that hard!" y/n gave him a light slap on the arm, she was in fact completely aware that that was exactly what happened, but she definitely didn't realise she had been that obvious. "whatever you say sweetheart," george opens the door for her and they step inside. y/n glances at the bar, the bartender hadn't made her drink but she hadn't expected him to, after all she had disappeared for a while. "stay right here, i'm going to order the drink again and go back to my friends for a bit." george simply nodded and took a seat at the bar once more, y/n opted to ask the other bartender for the drink this time (the one george had been talking to) - she thought it might be too awkward to ask the original one again.

drink in hand, she made her way back to their table, much more easily than when she first arrived. most people had begun to go outside to cool off so it wasn't nearly as packed in the booths where they were situated. "there you go." y/n pushed the drink towards the girl who had asked for it. "did you get lost on the way?" her friend giggles, slightly slurring her words. i'm sure she had a steady flow of drinks coming her way even without the one i ordered, y/n sighs, how was she going to explain this? it would've been even harder to explain her absence had she spent extra time outside mulling over what excuse to tell them but the lack of forethought also left her in a sticky situation. "you don't need to answer!" another of her friends grins almost evilly, "we can tell exactly what happened." y/n could feel her cheeks heating up, "what do you mean?" she answered, admittedly in a shakier voice than she was hoping for. without another word, the girl thrust her phone up at y/n's face with the camera open. "see?" she folded her arms and sat back in satisfaction.

"oh." y/n found that was the only word she was capable of uttering in that moment. her kiss with george had managed to smear her lip gloss and some of her lipstick around her lips in such a drastic way that it was painfully obvious what they had been doing. "for god's sake!" y/n quickly returned the phone and started in the direction of the bar where george, she assumed, would still be waiting for her.

"you didn't think to tell me about this?!" she hissed, gesturing broadly to her lips. george could only laugh, it had been only dimly lit outside of the bar so he wouldn't have been able to tell and y/n had taken off so abruptly with the drink that he hadn't even had a chance to fit a word in. "at least everyone knows now." george shrugs and gently holding her face and pressing the pad of his thumb over her lips, gently wiping away excess lip gloss (not much could be done about the coloured streaks of lipstick, at least not without a makeup wipe). y/n rolls her eyes, it was impossible to stay mad at him. "so much for twenty four hour ultra long wear lipstick," she grumbles. "shhh, i can't clean it up if you keep talking," george chuckles, giving her lips one final wipe, "there. all done."

"thank you," she smiles brightly, "i won't be buying this lipstick again that's for sure."

"you know," george pauses, "it would really be a shame if someone were to mess it up again,"

"save that for later!" y/n grins, giving him a kiss on the cheek instead before turning to go back to her friends. she could hear george protesting as she walked away, smiling to herself. this time she knew she would absolutely be hearing from him later.

[silleegob]

HxH - Dodgeball Scene

Note: This isn't really an analysis but more of a rant, hence it being messy, haha .. (^^ ;) Everything is based on my own opinion too, so I don't guarantee it would satisfy everyone. But anyway, enjoy ur read! :3

(Chapter 166, episode 70.)

If someone asks me which HxH scene is the most misunderstood one, I would say it's this:

I've seen almost EVERYONE in this fandom say that this scene was very "selfish" and "insensitive" of Gon. But dude, c'mon. Do you really think Gon wouldn't give a flying fuck about Killua getting hurt just for his own benefit? He isn't that type of friend. In fact, he literally hates it when Killua willingly hurts himself, like he gets so mad and bothered.

Take this scene for example:

But what piqued my interest was how he still kept this moment in mind after a bunch of chapters later:

It shows how he still didn't forget about that situation, and thought about this self-destructive trait of Killua carefully. Pretty ironic for getting mad at Killua for being like this when Gon himself is also self-destructive, haha. It's like it's indicating that Gon knows how it feels like being self-destructive, so he's trying to stop Killua from feeling that aswell. Keep that in mind though, I'll be talking about it later on. :3

In the mean time, I think it's important to look carefully on to details even if it's tiny. I noticed a few things about this panel too:

Only Gon is drawn with a 💢, and he's also doing a ❌️ finger sign (it's so funny.) I get it probably doesn't have any deeper meaning but the fact that it's like that shows how much he dislikes it if u ask me. 😭😭 I mean, bisky just looks disappointed, not mad. Why not add a 💢 on her too? That's 'cause she's not THAT bothered by it, and it's implying the difference of how they take this trait. And well, Gon takes it SERIOUSLY. So point is, he's not insensitive when it comes to Killua intentionally hurting himself as we see him clearly despising it.

Anyway, remember how I told u to keep that one thing in mind? Yeah, Gon knowing how it feels like being self-destructive and all. We all know that the reason he does this is because he feels weak, and so he has this need to prove himself strong and useful to feel better, right? Well.. I feel like as time goes by, Gon thinks that Killua is also doing this because of the same reason. He notices how far Killua goes just to prove himself worthy too. So when he voluntarily decides to take painful hits in the dodgeball game, Gon encourages it instead. He knows how it feels to be seen as weak, not useful, and not needed. Taking risks for something, but people don't encourage that. They just tell you to stop, not knowing that it would just make you feel even more useless, making you feel like you did all of that for nothing because it was never enough. Gon is aware of that, so he does the opposite to Killua. Don't you guys get it? If he told Killua to just stop, Killua would feel unworthy and not good enough. He's going out of his way to help Gon, he free-willingly decides to take those hits. If Gon told him to stop, it would feel like rejection–that Gon didn't appreciate all that effort, and is techincally telling Killua that his help meant nothing. You can see how Killua was so desperate, he was so pushy with the "I can take one more hit!!! Gon, let me do it!!" and now imagine if Gon said no💀 That would be rejecting his help/an act out of love (platonic or romantic idc.) THAT would be the one that's ACTUALLY insensitive to Killua.

So Gon shows appreciation and encouragement instead, letting Killua's effort not be in vain. Saying stuff like how he NEEDS Killua to be the one that holds the ball for him, how he can't focus if it's not Killua–he needs Killua's help and Killua himself. All of that, is definitely what Killua needed to know too. It literally made him smile and felt more upbeat after, how could people say it was insensitive and would hurt Killua's feelings? 😭 He's happy to know that Gon does care about his efforts for him after all. ᵔᴗᵔ ♡

One thing I'd like to say though is that; That was still unhealthy for both of them. They think self-destructing is the only way they'll feel loved. 🙁 Of course I agree that it was most definitely bad, and it's not a good thing that Gon just fueled up Killua's self-destructive tendencies even more..😭🙏 BUT the point here is that, it wasn't insensitive and selfish of Gon in that moment, okay!?!? They both saw it in a positive light, even though.. it was definitely bad... but uhm anyways yeah, everyone should stop being so upset with this scene. You all are misunderstanding it and it's painful. 😔

But hooray thanks for listening!

[factual-fantasy]

25 asks again :0000 🎄🎄🎄

Never??? What part of my content ever suggested that I would ever draw anything like that??

The snowy forests they tend to camp in are actually the forests attached to Snowdin :0 They tend to end up there a lot <XD No ones found them out there before so they've deemed Snowdin forests a safe camping spot..

I'm not sure what you mean by a cliffhanger. My Octonauts stuff wasn't following a timeline or anything. I was just goofing around and drawing what ever I felt like.

If you're talking about the crab comic? I abandoned that comic on a cliff hanger because I didn't like how I wrote the comic and I didn't feel like re-writing it. :/ The Captain ends up totally fine in the end so its ok-

(Also thank you! :} )

Thank you! Merry Christmas to you too!! :DDDD 💖🎄💖

It kind'a depends.. what really exhausts him is making multiple mirrors back to back that all lead to different places. And how long he holds them open is also a factor..

Maybe a good guestimate is.. about 5? Maybe if he makes 5 mirrors in less than 3 days that would be enough to completely wipe him out. Maybe even knock him unconscious..

But its okay, the group usually is good at avoiding that scenario. Usually they jump into an AU and stay there for a few days before jumping into a new one. That way Jevil has time to rest and recover.

@couchwow

:DD Thank you! We wish the same to you as well! :}} 🎄💖🔥

Oh yeah, very protective I imagine XD He wouldn't put him down or let him out of his sight for even a second.

@ocinstituterep

I'd like to think he kept it and hung it on his bedroom wall yeah. But Knowing Peso and how much of a sweetheart he is.. I can totally see him giving it to Pinto for a keepsake/to show it off to his friends :}

Only when they're using their magic in someway yeah. :0 The more magic they're using/the more they're straining, the more visible their pupil becomes.

And it can extend to their emotions. The more mentally unstable/emotional/afraid the cat is.. the more cracked and deformed their pupil can become..

@bunny-coffee

Shellington got some angry cousins frfr XDDD

(Post in question)

Ehh.. not exactly.. that situation with that Papyrus ended up getting really dangerous, and really scary, really fast.. They end up fleeing that AU and leave that Papyrus behind.. :(

@fallingbones (post in question)

WWAAAHHAGDG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! THAT MEANS A LOT TO MEEEEE!!😭😭💖💖💖😭

That's because I was gonna draw a comic revealing her new name but I never got around to it.. 💔

(Still keeping it a secret in case I change my mind lol-)

ACTUALLY! I had an idea that if Jevil rushes a mirror, he just has less control over it and will have no idea where the mirror will end up. And one time Jevil hastily made a mirror and when they jumped though.. they all got dumped into a river 😬 which is very bad for nearly everyone involved-

Seam's chains got caught on a branch and he got stuck while everyone else got swept down stream. He was able to just barely get his chains free and drag himself onto land.

Grillby doesn't die or anything, but boy is it incredibly painful. Thankfully he's able to scramble out of the water rather quickly and collapse on land..

Spamton has a phobia of water so by the time him and Jevil are able to get out he's breaking down from a panic attack :'(

Goner kid cant really swim but she was very lucky and was able to grab onto some branches and scramble out of the water.

Asgore wasn't really in any danger but he did struggle to get out of the water. He was eventually able to latch onto a branch as well and pull himself out.

The group recollected and probably camped out in the nearby forest for a few days to mentally and physically recover from that ordeal-

Upon Googling it, it appears to be a fangame about the yellow soul..? I also saw "Undertale yellow controversy" uh oh- I'm not sure what I think about it <XD

Although I've never played/seen a playthrough of Resident Evil.. this sounds right up my ally! XD

Also thank you! Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you as well! :DD 🎄🎉

XD Yes! I also have these two but they're not as cool/polished/original to me as the other 7 are-

@octonauts16

Ultimately my thoughts are, "It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be/could have been. 6 outa 10, would watch again and recommend to my friends 🎤🐻👍"

And as for a sequel? I'm not sure if they'll make one.. if they do, I kind'a hope it'll be about the second game and they'll up the horror a bit more this time 👀

@cupofmaplesyrup

waaa thank you!! :DD

I'm not sure.. I imagined Bibi likes the stuff I make, simply because I made it. I'm not sure what the rest of them would think.. :0

Although the 20k comic was a biggie. They all thought that project was cool XD

@beryl-shade

I did! It seemed fitting for him. Also it helps visually distinguish him from Glamrock Freddy :00

XD She has that effect on people

When the when When?

@love-is-the-multiverse

That's just how I draw skeletons that don't look really creepy :( 💔

[unclassedguy]

I don't think I really enjoyed the latest chapter, and honestly from the way things are looking I'm probably not going to enjoy Jujutsu Kaisen's ending either....

I obviously like the characters, I like Yuji, I like Nobara, Megumi is alright.....I get wanting them to be happy. A lot of the stuff I draw in fact involves putting characters I like into silly situations as though they aren't in constant suffering in the source material (I'm immune to being serious 💔).

However, I feel like I'm not really vibing with this 'the trio is alright and they'll all be happy together' ending it seems Gege is setting up. I think part of it stems from the way Nobara and Megumi have been handled these past chapters. There was so much hype for Nobara's comeback.....I get it, she's a badass and fun character who's time in the story was cut awfully short.....I really do understand why so many people would want her back, but I just don't really like how close to the ending her return was and also the fact that up until that point it seemed pretty heavily implied that she had died. Not only that but her 'death' was such an important moment for Yuji and part of what made Shibuya and Yuji's story so tragic and Mahito so reprehensible as a villain. Nobara coming back so suddenly without even proper time dedicated to her (as in actual hints that she was alive and more chapters to explore the dynamics of her return and her contributions to the battle beyond one move) to make it feel even a smidgen satisfying just didn't sit right with me. The first thing I thought of upon seeing the chapter of her return was that it felt like fanservice. It felt like the type of thing a fan of the story would write for the 'hype' and not a choice that made sense. It was the same thing as Yuta returning in Gojo's body. People like Gojo, and having a chapter make it seem like he was coming back of course got the fans' attention. But in the end the story could've still worked well, maybe even better, without Yuta-jo's addition to the fight. It was unessecary.

Then we have Megumi who's been through so much for a good chunk of the story now. His body was taken over and used to hurt people he cares about, most of all his sister who is pretty much the center of his world, the person he loves the most. He'd given up, he'd sunk to the lowest depths submerged in Sukuna's evil. I feel like he sprung back pretty quickly......I don't think I'm as iffy about Megumi's return as I am with Nobara's considering Megumi actually at least got some pretty good and decent scenes with Yuji getting through to him and now also a talk with Sukuna.....but I dunno, I still don't know if I enjoyed how it was handled, particularly the fact that he just kind of comes back with no consequences after all the shit Sukuna's put his body through. I mean, he has a couple of scars sure but is that really all you'd expect after the world class beating he just got?????

Then we have Sukuna, reduced to glob of flesh. I don't mind Sukuna getting a pathetic death. After all he's done I think he deserved getting flung off his high horse and trampled on the ground. It still felt really abrupt though and like it didn't get enough time considering he's been such a big pain for months now and is one of the major antagonists. He's just suddenly gone and it felt anticlimactic and unsatisfying. I would've also liked to see at least a bit of what he was like in the Heain era.....

Hakari and Uraume too 😭. We really got none of their fight and when Sukuna is gone Uraume just....evaporates???? It honestly felt like Gege was just trying to get them out of the way so the series can end already and not an actual conclusion to their character. I wish they could've gotten more depth beyond being just Sukuna's loyal servant.

Them there's of course all the things Gege still hasn't touched such as Jin being Sukuna's twin, Kenjaku being Yuji's mom, the merger etc. Those things I guess I'm not as sad about because I'd already come to terms with the fact that Gege isn't going to get into them, at least not to the extent I would've wanted. It still sucks though.

Maybe I'm just a hater, maybe I don't understand what Gege was trying to do, maybe it's just a matter of preference. I think Gege probably tried his best with jjk using what he had and I don't think it'd be right to hate on him. And even if I am kind of dissapointed in where this story is going I don't blame anyone for liking it.

I may just not like 'happily ever after' endings or something. Not to say Jujutsu Kaisen is some super uplifting story even if the main trio has survived. There's still characters who have died and stayed dead, but it's still definitely a happier ending than what I expected.

At the end of the day, I like stories that put their characters through the wringer. I like stories that destroy everything their protagonist has ever had and turn their world upside down and accept no half-assed reparations to the damage they've caused. I like stories that fuck up everyone involved but still let at least one of them be smiling by the end, even if they're alone, because life is still worth living. Honestly, I would've preferred Yuji move on by himself than for a happy ending to be squeezed out of jjk's remains in a way that didn't feel satisfying. Though maybe I wouldn't be so sour about an ending where the trio gets to live together if we had just had more time to make it feel right. To make it feel emotionally impactful and like it wasn't just hype. I'd take a bittersweet but well-done ending over a half-assed good ending and a well-done good ending over a bittersweet ending....y'know?

Well, that's just my opinion.

[ophelieverse]

Please make a part two of “Of monsters and flowers”I need it please 😭💚

⊱ ❀ ✿ ꕥ Of promises and thorns.

Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader

Part 2 of Aegon and Tyrell reader finally!!I got a little carried away again,so i’ll probably make a part three!Thanks for requesting and i hope you like it,also sorry for the long waiting and for the grammars errors💕🫶🏻

pt1 is here 💕

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

for the people who wants to be tagged(sorry if I forgot someone)and I hope that what i wrote was worth the wait🥹🫶🏻

@audigay @zgzgzh @iwybie @kishie8 @savagejane1 @scrunkly-crunchie @m1ndbrand @iveofficiallylostmymarbles @thirsty4nonlivingmen @poison-iv3 @trshngyn @kyrieshoka @daddysfavoritesexkitten @blackrose8425 @aellarys @khaleesihavilliard @tswiftsthings @this-is-a-bad-idea

There is a crack,a crack in everything and that's how the light gets in.

Even if the spark must come from within him,could he save himself completely?To shine again wouldn’t he need someone?Just as he must be reborn from his own ashes,didn’t he also needed light,not to burn,but to light his way?Didn’t he needed a soft hand to open his eyes to the light?

For Aegon the light took place in his life in the form of Lady Y/n Tyrell.His mother family,the Hightowers of Oldtown,words were “We light the way”but before meeting the young,kind and sincere girl he had never knew the warmth of the sun.The kind of warmth he was used to was harsh,destructive and painful like the fire of a dragon.He grew up without some one to tell him how beautiful or how good he was,without a word of comfort to reassure him giving him his place in the sun in the world.

Nothing would have been enough to repay him for that silence.Inside he would always be a child hungry for kindness,that would always feel ugly and incompetent.But then,just like a miracle,the stormy clouds had disappeared,the grey sky turned into the clearest one he had ever seen and the warm rays of the sun were kissing his cheeks with so much affection.

In a short time,Lady Y/n had found the crack on his surface and gotten inside him.She was stuck in him.Somewhere between his stomach and ribs,he had looked at her and she had got there without asking for permission.And she would have remained there with arrogance,to fill his eyes,to eat his sleep and steal his breath,stuck in the saliva of his mouth.

She would never leave and he didn't knew the first time he had met her,as he looked at her from a distance.He didn't knew,yet he felt her under his skin,inside his bones.His mind had become a forest and she had carved her initials in every tree,never leaving all of his thoughts.

When Aegon first met Y/n he immediately thought that she wasn't even that beautiful as his mother made her sound like.Actually,when he hade caught her by the fountain in the gardens of the Red Keep,she was a walking mess.The young Lady was soaked from head to toe,her pink pastel dress was clinging on her body like a second skin and her little silver shoes were covered with mud.In her hands she was holding a little animal,a frog,that made his nose scrunch up in disgust and her hair was a disaster.She looked like a little girl who grew up,but still she was too little to play the part of being a woman.He would’ve have to marry her,as his mother and grandfather had told him,or ordered him,just the week before her arrival.

Aegon was some kind of relived,the idea of marrying his idiotic sister was worse than a nightmare but at the sight of the young Lady,he had seriously thought that the gods were laughing at him.While he had distractedly walked outside after his mother had caught him drinking in the kitchens again,he had seen her.

She was smiling at him and he was looking at her.Even with all the distance,the people rushing in and out the castle to prepare everything for the feast of the night,the noise,he had heard her looking at him,imperceptibly,in places he didn't know he had.

The prince had thought that she was too small,too young,to stand there in the middle of the gardens with the promise that one day she would’ve become his wife.That ugly dress glued to her body made her look like commoner,dry as a chapped leaf.And there was nothing to smile about,that dumb look on her face made him angrier,especially fo being caught by the prince in such conditions.

But that little girl had stuck herself inside him,with her hair dripping with water,many escaped the silver flower with which she had collected them and the naive smile,too clean,the one of those who have never been touched by the real world.

In the Reach and in all the realm she was known as “the thornless rose”,a nickname that was given to her years ago,craved on her skin,that he didn’t care about till he met her.Till the warm and peaceful and loving light touched his soul for the first time.

Aegon never thought it could happen to him,to finally feel something,that one thing that he had always dreamt of but at the same time he sounded so foolish to him.The twisted idea of love,falling in love and staying in it.How cruel and how much will it hurts to stay trapped in that fake ecstasy called love?He had witnessed it.His mother and his father were married for far too long,she didn’t loved him and he didn’t loved her,their only agreement was having children to strength the royal dynasty.Children that none of the two were capable to love.But then it was a sunny day of spring and he didn’t recognize it immediately.When he saw her he thought “Who is this idiot?And why is she smiling at me?”but in the end he fell in love.He fell in love because that's what he’s been waiting for.

Maybe he didn't even knew,but,even though at his young age,he was ready.He was just waiting for her arrival.That girl capable of wiping away all the dust he had carried on his heart,all the bitterness left by people.Lady Y/n came when he least expect her,to remind him that good things exist and that,sometimes,they can also happen to people like him.To him who have never been given anything;to him who have always had to sweat every little victory in his life,to him who has never put anyone first and who now seems so hard to believe.That day had come,by chance but he felt like he have known her forever.Like he had already seen her in his mind and dreams and everything that she had offered him looked too good to be true.

And yet that imperceptible recurrence of shivers didn’t wanted to leave his body,mind and soul.

Aegon didn’t knew exactly what drives two people to bond.Maybe the tuning,maybe the laughter,maybe the words.Probably,start sharing something more,talking a little about themselves to slowly discover what the heart hides.Learn to love each other,to accept their flaws,merits,angers and jokes.Or maybe it happens,because it had to happen.Because everyone is destined to find each other,sooner or later.

But every time that he came to like something,he wondered how long will it take for him to poison it with his darkness and how long will it for it to run away.

He always had the certainty that something was wrong with him.Like a truth that for everyone shone in the sunlight,that no one had dared to tell him but showed him every day of his life.He didn't feel the emotions he should have felt and his behavior didn't never coincided with the expectations of others.It almost seemed that his soul was anchored to the one piece that was unable to fit in with the rest of the world.

His inadequacy made him fragile.He had always thought about it and always considered it a flaw.It forced him to replicate gestures learned by heart,in the vain attempt to look normal.As if his not knowing how to adapt shouted loudly how bad he actually was.It was ironic:he felt incomplete,but the rest of the world didn’t felt the same way about being without me.

There was something wrong in him.Something that he tried to hide,drowning it in endless cup of wines,covering it up by pretending that he didn’t care,the longing expression on his face,the horrible feeling in his stomach whenever he witnessed other people being treated the way he craved too.There was definitely something wrong,or else they all wouldn’t be acting this way towards him,and he didn't understand what it was,until that day.

Spring evening,soft and balmy and beautiful.The smell of the earth rose in the stillness like a dream cloud.In the cherry blossom covered hills the air stirred,sending pink and white swirling in like in the sweetest hurricane.If Aegon looked closer he might be able to make out the dancing roots of the trees,slithering to the ground,echoing the folk song sung on the tongue of the wind.In the soft flicker of the evening light,the birds had already arrived.Hooping and flying around the branches,looking down at the soft green grass.

Under the dark branches of tall trees,framed by the idyllic landscape,surrounded by sweet and velvety fragrance of the blooming flowers,with their vibrant and meaningful colors,Aegon was laying on the soft cover on the grass.His head,crowned by beautiful long pale hair,was resting peacefully on Y/n lap,as she stroked it delicately with the tip of her fingers.

His purple eyes were open,taking in every inch of her skin,the delicate path that he wanted to trace with his fingers but only allowed his eyes to do such a thing.Sunsets in her eyes and a smile on her lips,she was the most beautiful Lady he had ever seen.

Y/n was beautiful,so beautiful that he wanted to hear her thoughts,to read all the books he talked to him about,learn about her flowers and bring them to her every day.She was so beautiful that he wanted to rub her feet before bed and rub her back,run her bubble baths and bring her a cup of wine and sit next to the tub talking to her as she soaks.She was that kind of beautiful,the kind that goes much deeper than what he could see.She was the kind of beautiful that when he see her smile,his heart wanted to pop off his chest,that kind of beautiful that he had hardly ever see.

Dancing to the melody of his heartbeat,sunsets in her eyes as she spoke to him softly,oh so softly such is the breeze«Your heart is beating so fast.»she made him notice,placing a warm,delicate hand on his chest.

His heart was,it had taken full control of his body and he loved in heartbeats.Slow and sweet,sometimes hard and reckless,and racing,other times close,maybe too close.Then again running and reaching and aching.But his heart was always there to remind him,how nothing has ever felt more right than being with her.Whether they were just sitting in silence,busy doing their own things with just the presence of the other as comfort or sharing a pure and warm moment as they talk about everything and anything.

«I get nervous around you»Aegon confessed without embarrassment,even though he was thankful that his eyes were closed in that moment to not see her reaction at his words and blushed cheeks.

Her hand was still on his chest,right above his heart,the one in his hair faltered for a second,a little laugh was heard before she spoke again«I make you nervous?Why?»Y/n murmured.

Because she was the only person he could talk with about the shade of a cloud,about the song of a thought,and about how,when he went out in the gardens to look for her today and looked at the roses and other flowers in the face,they all seemed to smile at him with all of their petals.

The pure and soft intimacy that they were sharing,that had tied them together was something completely knew to him.He never realized how big of a deal that was.How amazing was to find someone who wants to hear all about his day and all the things inside his head.Opening up and revealing his vulnerability had always been hard.As most of what he kept close to his heart is what he thought couldn’t be safe in another’s hands.It had put him at risk of being rejected,misunderstood,humiliated,judged,and left feeling deeply exposed.But then when she gently held those most intimate and hidden parts to him,and not only reassured him that they are safe,but love them and protect them as if they were her own,it enabled him to connect on a much deeper level.

«Because you are pretty.»Aegon answered,even without looking at her he could picture in his head the way her nose would scrunch up,the pink shade that would soon color her soft cheeks and down her neck along the shy little smile that she would try to hide.

«You say this because,you haven’t seen the peonies yet.»she confidently told him,like any kind of flower could surpass,in his head,the outshining beauty that she possessed.

Aegon shrugged his shoulders«Who needs flowers when i have you to look at?»he ponder out loud.

Y/n felt her cheeks becoming warm,a little giggle tickled her lips«Flowers are the real beauty of the world,even as they fade,wilt,fall.»she answered,the same tone of pure adoration when she was talking about something that she was passionate about.

«So you are suggesting that i should prefer flowers over you?»the young prince teased her,the same mischievous grin present on his pale face.

The lady legs shifted under him,his eyes were still close but he felt her move,in the most delicate way possible to not disturb him,stretching towards the grass to pick something«It is right to love flowers they have been with us from the very beginning.Many of them have beautiful histories and meanings,explaining some amazing facts of life.»she said with sincerity.

He didn’t care about this sort of things,flowers,plants,stupid animals or anything related to them.But she cared,she spoke about what made her little heart flatter with so much gentleness,with a pure look of adoration in her eyes.She cared,so he cared too.He wanted to know everything that she have to teach him,he would’ve listened to her speaking about the difference between bees and bumblebees or just sit next to her while she was creating another flower crown that she would’ve put on his head.

Aegon sit up,missing the soft contact that he had with her,and looking at Y/n holding a flower in her head«What’s the meaning of this one?»he asked.

«This a chrysanthemum.»Y/n said,feeling the green flower stem between her fingers«It means “hope for the future”.»she explained like she was a book,tracing with delicacy the petals.

Normally,other people spend their whole lives worrying about the future,making plans for the future,trying to predict the future,as if discovering what life has in store for them will help them to prepare for better or worse.What they don't realize is that the future is always changing.The future is the home to the greatest fears and wildest hopes.But one thing is for sure when it finally reveals itself,the future is never how people had imagined it.

For Aegon,his future was already planned.Since before he was born and even after,his grandfather and his mother had already known what to do with and for him.He didn’t have the luxury to decide for himself and only now he had started to think about what he really wanted.The thoughts of days full of cups of wine,servants girls and absolute laziness were soon replace with sunny evenings and smell of spring.

«Do you ever wonder about your future?»Y/n suddenly asked,her voice was a little whisper and she seemed distressed.

Aegon furrowed his eyebrows,curios about what could have made her feel like this but instead he answered her question«Sometimes»he said,clearing his throat.

«And what do you see?»Y/n said with a tiny voice and blushed cheeks.

Aegon pretended to think about it«You and me.»he continued.

«You seem very sure of this.»she murmured,he could sensed that something was troubling her.

«Of course I’am,we’ll be together.»Aegon said immediately.

«But if something was to happen,will you remember me?»she hopefully asked.

He smiled,trying to not scare her and to put her mind at ease«Nothing will happen.»

«But will you remember me?»she sounded persistent,a pout on her little lips.

«I will always remember you,how can i not?»he laughed a bit.

Y/n had a small smile on her lips,she was forcing it because she seemed nervous,unsure as she held the chrysanthemum towards him«Will you promise me?»she asked,eyes gleaming under the sunlight.

His fingers brushed hers,both of them holding together the stem«I promise you that,no matter what,we will always be together and that i will remember that you existed.»he was sincere with his words and maybe that’s what she needed to her to ease herself«Will you remember me?»he said then.

Y/n smiled so bright«I will remember you,and your kind eyes,as someone who always tried to be good.»making his chest burn.

«Nothing will happen to you.»he reassured her,no one would’ve taken her away from him now that he had her.

Then something was happening,he felt it in his bones and in his racing heart that was hammering in his chest,his purple eyes ready to pop out his skull.

The sun disappeared,everything around them was dark,cold and empty.Aegon looked around confused,fear grown in his body when the flower they were holding in their hands was caught on fire.Golden flames erupted from the elegant petals,running up the young Lady arm and taking place on her beautiful and unfazed young face.

«Then why did you let him do this to me?»Y/n cried,her voice sounded strained,ugly sobs coming out from her lips,hot tears of the same color of blood stained her cheeks.

He wanted to scream,his eyes widened at the sight,he didn’t felt the warmth but only a black hole opening in his chest ready to swallow him hole«I’m sorry!»he whispered,his voice didn’t wanted to come out and his hands were stuck on the stem.

«Why Aegon?»she screamed at him,the flames danced around her skin without harming it,but he could feel the pain in her voice«Why would you let him hurt me?»the blood was pouring from her eyes,falling from her cheeks till her hands and touching his too.

He had blood on his hands and what had happened that day was all his fault.

Aegon body jolted awake,the emptiness that took his breath away always came at night.When he fell asleep he always saw her face,what he lost that day in her cannot be replaced.

Sometimes he dreams.He creates a dream around her.He creates things that he´ll never admit and he whispers them quietly.He whispers them so they’re not quite real,he whispers them so they’re easy to deny.He whispers his dreams,his love that screams in his heart.

Other times,his mind has the urgent need to kill her.To replay in his head the imagines of the day he last saw her.He had often imagined himself covered with golden scales,horns on his head and fire coming out his mouth.He is confused,he feels his brain pulsating against the bones of his skull and feels that thirst,that need to feed on her.In his mind his eyes are bloodshot,he has lost his human part and chases that animal one,the sadistic one.He waits for the arrival of the meat to be lavoured,devoured.

Aegon woke up late in the morning,when the air was warmer,the sun was up in the blue sky and every living creature in the capital was wandering around the day.His body has jolted up from his bed,the soft mattress was drenched in sweat and so was his immaculate,pale skin.His chest was bare,toned from all the hours spent training with his brothers,raising up and down furiously.His mouth was open,rosy lips trembling as he was hungry for air,breathing hard and choking on his own spit.

He was used to this feeling,the panic in his lungs,the sound of his frenetic heartbeat ringing in his ears.When he wakes up from his nightmares,when her imagine start to fade and he almost forgot how she sound like,he needs some times to understand where he is.Then he does,his widened purple eyes stars to make up the outline of his room as he tries to calm himself down.

«Why i must have dreams that makes me unable to function?»he murmured to himself,drying the tears in the corner of his eyes.

«Aegon?Are you alright?»the sound of the voice that belonged to a young girl made him jump again,almost falling off his bed as a white sheet was covering him from the waist down.

Next to him,laying on the soft mattress,a girl who only seemed a few years younger than him,was woke up by his continue tossing around in his sleep.She looked just like a porcelain doll:the small and round face,the rosy cheeks,the upturned nose,the pale and delicate skin around the large blue eyes,the thin lips of the same color of the summer cherries,all framed by a long cascade of golden curls that fell softly on her shoulders.

Cressida Lannister,only child of Lord Tyland Lannister,Master of ships for the King Small Council,was naked.She was laying on her side,concern was painted all over her beautiful face,her pale breast was on display,turgid nipples from the breeze coming in from the window.

Letting out the breath he was holding in,Aegon closed his eyes for a brief moment.His head was pulsing,on the table next to his bed,a empty and long forgotten pitcher of wine.His nightmares came more often,to hunt him in his sleep,when he drinks but if he doesn’t drink the nightmares still exists outside of his head.

It had been nine long,lonely and painful years from that night in the Dragonpit.Since he had almost lost her,since he realized what pain really felt like,since the accident that none dared to talk about.But Aegon knew from the way everybody still looked at him,whenever someone mentioned her family,or one of his siblings decided to fly on their dragons.It may happened years ago,but the imagine of flames that took away her gentle features and the sounds of her screams was something he could never forget.

Her presence was still there,he could feel her passing through his days and coming to him at night,right before he fell asleep.He could still see her in flowers he started to tend in gardens,place he had spent all of this year in,he could easily find her in the books he read or in the warm sun the woke him up every morning.But a ghost can be a lot of things.A memory, a daydream,a secret.Grief,anger,guilt.The line between grief and guilt is a thin one,sometimes,Aegon thought,that death was preferable to the agony of living.

The gut wrenching feeling in his stomach,when he knew he had fucked something up so she had left but he couldn’t even blame anyone but himself because he was the problem.For one blazing moment,there was no dragon,there was no Lady Tyrell,there was only him.Only Aegon,there was all him,he had the idea of bringing her in the Dragonpit that night,he didn’t stopped his dragon for getting mad,he was responsible for what had happened to her,he did it.

Aegon ignored her question,rubbing his tired face and his burning eyes«Why are you still here?»his voice was guttural«I thought i made it clear that,when we finish,you can’t sleep in my bed.»he continued,suppressing a yawn.

He had grown up in this years,his long pale hair were short to his shoulder,his thin and puny body was toned,his shoulders broader and his arms and legs strong.One look at that beautiful purple eyes and those silver locks,the beauty that he had inherited from his ancestors of Old Valyria,and it didn’t took long before young ladies started to fall at his feet.It’s not every day that someone get the chance to ride a dragon and Cressida Lannister took hers immediately.

Aegon had started to sleep with her,to have his mind busy and to distract himself,over an year ago.She was indeed beautiful,elegant and educated but also spoiled and a talked too much for his liking.But she was the closest thing he had to shut all the voices in his mind,especially when he was too lazy to sneak out the castle to go in some brothel.

The young Lady rolled her eyes,a scowl painted the beautiful features on her face«You are always so bitter when you dream of that girl.»she whispered before getting up from his bed.

Aegon watched her with the corner of his eyes,she didn’t stopped to grab her peach colored dress that was still on the floor,instead she walked towards the open window.For him,his pain and his dreams were something private.Something that only him could understand and he didn’t wanted to share it with the people around him.Many nights he had woken up all sweaty,the horrors that he saw in his head still glued on his eyes,and,all alone,he had put himself to sleep again.

But there were also times when Cressida was too tired or too stubborn to leave him alone like he requested and she wasn’t new to see him toss around in his bed,to hear the chocking sobs coming from his mouth.It didn’t took long to her to realize who was the person that hunted him at night,that had him taking care of the gardens during the day and especially that made him not fall in love with her instead.

«That’s why i don’t want you here in the morning.»he said,clearly already annoyed before the day could even start.

She stayed quiet for a moment,then«You said her name again.»Cressida made him notice,ignoring his rude tone,and taking a deep breathe of fresh air.

The words escaped from his mouth,like a prayer that begged to be heard«Y/n»he had murmured immediately,passing his fingers on his lips.

Aegon didn’t heard that named in years,every one made the effort to not pronunce it whenever he was in the room.«Y/n»he repeated again,like a song he knew by heart,tasting every letter on his tongue like the most delicious fruit.

Has any name ever been so beautiful?Has any name ever made him feel like this at the mere thought?He kept that name,like the memories he has of her,close to his heart,only whispering it at night when he was alone in the dark.

Even when Aegon was with Cressida,he was alone with in his thoughts.And as the result of missing Y/n,his mind wanders,and all he wanted was to have her straddling his lap,her lips on his,first slow,sweet,soft;then harder,and fiery and so urgent that they can’t catch their breath.He wanted to feel her arms around him,and her lips on his neck.He want to feel her hands in his hair,holding his face,exploring along his body.He wanted to feel the warmth of her skin against his.He wanted to be as close to Y/n as possible.

But then he opened his eyes,just to see another girl underneath him.At least,a mere comfort for his heart,was to know that his Y/n was still alive.She still exists,at the same time as he was existing,even if she was far away from him the thought the she was still breathing,that she could still feel the sun on her skin and talk to her flowers,was so calming and beautiful and it made him feel safer.

«Oh,would you look at that?»Cressida said when the young prince remained silent«Seems like the Spring had came back again after all.»with her hand she was caressing the little ceramic vase on the window,where beautiful chrysanthemums had just bloomed.

Aegon felt the air stopping in his lungs«What?»he asked,getting up from the bed and holding the white sheet to his waist,he walked where the naked girl was«It’s spring?»he breathed out.

After a long summer and a long winter that lasted for the past nine years,spring had came back,insisting with its green hair and delicate songs chirped by the birds outside.The days distended as winter,cold,grays and empty had soon melted into spring,warmer and swelled.From his window he could see the sweet grass that perfumed the yard and petals that blanketed the pathway.Down in the gardens the white lilacs,the daises and the honeysuckles that he had taken care of bloomed and bees hummed near the fountain.

Cressida nodded,a big smile on her lips«My father’s tailors had sewed me the most beautiful dress i’ve ever seen,for the great feast of tomorrow evening.»she said dreamily.

It takes him days to recovers from dreams with her in it and in that moment he couldn’t come to understand what was happening.Aegon wasn’t stupid,he had spent hours studying along side his younger brother and their Septon,he knew that with every spring the Tyrell family would’ve come to the royal court and for two weeks the people in the realm would celebrate.He had already lived one of those parties but,for some strange reason,the idea took him by surprise.

«What did you said?»the prince asked confused.

Cressida placed a warm hand on his chest,tracing the pale skin«It’s a really pretty dress.All red with golden-»she started with a mischievous expression.

Aegon swatted her hand away,interrupting her«Not that.»he immediately said«There will be a feast tomorrow?»he asked again.

The young Lady huffed,taking a step back and frustrated with his moody behavior«Of course,isn’t this how it works since your ancestors had given the Reach to the Tyrells?»her question sounded rhetorical.

Yes,since Aegon the Conqueror had made the Tyrell family the protectors of the Reach,the honorable and rich House had came to court to celebrate the beginning of the beautiful season as a symbol of gratitude towards the House of the dragon.

Aegon had been so busy with tending the gardens and in his own thoughts,that he didn’t witnessed all the people rushing by him to get everything ready for tomorrow.

A loud knock at his door startled him«Come in.»he ordered,probably thinking it would be one of his servants that came to check on him and help him get him ready for the day.

Cressida squeaked like a little mouse when she heard the sound of the doorknob«I’m naked!»she hissed at the young prince,before crouching down to pick up her dress quickly to cover her chest and bare legs.

«No one cares.»Aegon answered,yawing.It wasn’t a secret for anyone at this point what was happening between the two and the young prince didn’t made any effort to hide it.

Ser Criston entered the prince chambers,his armor shone under the morning light and his white cloak fell perfectly from his shoulders«Aegon.»he greeted him,with the same kind of intimacy that there was between a father and a son«Lady Cressida.»he politely bowed his head,without looking at her nude figure.

«Ser Criston.»the prince said,passing a hand through his short chopped hair«To what do i own the pleasure?»he asked trying to hold in another yawn,he didn’t slept at all that night and he could already feel the dark bags under his eyes.

The knight stood still,with his hands behind his back«The Queen had requested your presence in her chambers.»he informed the prince,then he turned to the young lady that,red from embarrassment,avoided his dark eyes«Your father is waiting for you as well,my Lady.»he continued,clearing his throat.

«Thank you,Ser Criston.»Cressida murmured.

«This early?»Aegon asked confused,turning slightly to the girl next to him.

«It’s past midday,my prince.»Ser Criston made him notice.

Aegon was ready,all dressed up from head to toe in short time.The dark emerald green of his clothes was shining under the light that came in from the windows in the castle halls,his short silver hair were brushed enough to made them look as if he had a good night of sleep.

His face however,that beautiful,pale and arrogant face of his didn’t even try to hide the annoyed and sleepy expression he was wearing.The prince didn’t wanted to talk with his mother,to feel on him her piercing gaze or to hear any of her words.It was already a hard day,first he didn’t slept at all,instead vivid memories clouded his mind and tormented his heart,then,like some kind of jest,the spring had came back when he had lost all the hopes.But the idea,just the brief though,that the gods could’ve been merciful this time and grant him the wish to see his Y/n again for the occasion,had his hands sweaty.

He didn’t know how and what to feel,his emotions were messy,too much,too little,too loud.He couldn’t organize them inside his head,the horrible aching feeling of guilt that kept him up at night was fighting with the pure desire to be next to her as soon as possible.But then again,would he be able to forgive himself for what he had done to her?Did she hated him?How could he survive if she did it?

Aegon was walking towards his mother chambers when,in the empty halls,he heard two girls talking,or better,whispering to each other.They seemed young,maybe a few years younger than him,wearing a long bordeaux dresses under a dirty white vest,he had seen the two of them often in his sister presence.

«Have you heard?»the taller one whispered to the other«They said that her skin is so damaged that looks like boiled oats.»she sounded horrified,pure disgust painted on her face.

The other one gasped«That poor girl!I don’t know what i would do if my face was reduced to look like porridge.»she cried holding in her hands a vase with fresh flowers in it and almost dropping it on the stone floor.

The taller servant nodded frenetically,agreeing with her friend«I saw her in the gardens this morning,right by the fountain and she is wearing-»her next words remain stuck in her mouth as her eyes widened.

Aegon heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he couldn’t almost hear himself talk«Do I need to remained you that you should be working and not gossiping about people that are not here to defend themselves?»the authority in his voice made the two servants shiver as they quickly bowed their head down and planted their eyes on the floor.

«We-we apologize,my prince!We didn’t mean-»one of them stuttered.

«Another word and i will have your tongues.»his voice cold and steady«Now,go back to work.»he dismissed them.

As the two immediately returned to their chores,the prince started to walk in the opposite direction.Aegon had lived that moment inside his head million of times,every night and every morning after he woke up,he would stare at the gardens by his windows,playing in his mind the exact moment when he would see Y/n again.

He imagined different scenarios,any kind of dialogue,every move,with the sun and under the rain,but nothing could’ve prepared him for the real event.It wasn’t fair how his memories were too honest and how the girl that he had lost still existed in his mind as how he last saw her.Hearing the two servants talk crushed his heart under the weight of the brutal reality,Y/n in his mind was still the young pretty Lady with the most brightest smiled he had ever seen,but now,after what happen years ago,she was completely different and he couldn’t even imagine how much it did hurt her.

Perhaps he couldn’t go back in time,he couldn’t fix what he had done but maybe he could try to make it better,less painful for the both of them as he stood there,planted on his feet,the air chocking in his lungs and his vision blurred by tears.

Spring was all over the place,the warm air was full of the sweet and velvety perfume,curtains and fountains of flowers framed the idyllic landscape.The soft and fresh green grass was full of daffodils and snowdrops and lilies and daisies that had worked their way out of the dark.But they weren’t the only,the most beautiful and delicate flower that had bloomed in his garden was Lady Y/n.

She was there,finally after nine years,she was alive before his eyes and he had remembered her so dearly.She was still sitting by the fountain,a light lilac dress was wrapped around her angelic figure,she had grown up in these years and she looked more like a woman than a little girl.She was taller,her breast was well defined just like her waist and her hair her curled down her back.

Aegon had dreamed of this moment but perhaps it was just another of his nightmares.Her face was hidden,a dark purple veil covered her features from under her eyes till the base of her neck,a melancholic but at the same time beautiful way,to try to cancel what had happened to her.

In a second it all came back,the days spent together laughing or laying under the sun,the smiles,but also the screams,the burning fire,the moment he almost lost her forever.He wanted to turn back on his steps,to flee the place and never go back,but then she turned her head and he felt the weight of her gaze on him.Her eyes,beautiful and sweet,were still her eyes and she was still looking at him,like there was something worth it in him,the same way that she did when they had first met.

«Y/n.»he murmured,the words escaped his mouth as if they wanted to run to her,he didn’t notice that he started to walk towards her like some kind of magic was pulling him.

Y/n stayed quiet for a few moments,now she seemed nervous.She had got up and he didn’t knew if he hated the fact that couldn’t see her expression or to be thankful to not witness the mistakes he had made in the past.

«My prince.»she spoke politely and he could still see the movements of her lips under the dark veil,even her voice sounded the same,just a little bit slower.

Aegon didn’t knew what to say,how to act even how to move in the place they had created around each other.He felt like a little kid again,seeing her like this,real and alive made his hearts start again,feel the earth speed under his feet and thinking that he could died but then she spoke to him and brought him back to life.

In that awkward moment of silence,where they were just looking at each other,he cleared his throat«Do you like the flowers?»he asked and he felt stupid,he already knew the answer but his brain wasn’t thinking straight in the moment.

She nodded,her eyes gleamed under the sun«The roses are very beautiful.»she noticed,moving towards one of the bushes.

He followed her immediately,almost stumbling on his feet but giving her enough space in case she didn’t wanted him to be too close«They had a little trouble to bloom»he explained«this hibiscus was trying to suffocate them and take all the space.»he tried to sound as calm as he could while he spoke,showing her the other green plant where colorful flowers smiled at them.

«Still they bloomed,»Y/n said with a soft tone«no matter under what circumstances,if it’s meant to be is meant to be.»then she picked one in her hands,tracing the red petals with her fingers.

«Yes.»Aegon said,his hands were itching to touch hers and he wished to be in the place of the flower who was getting all her attention«Nature always find a way.»he continued.

And maybe that could be applied for people too,he thought.Maybe they were actually gravitating around one another,maybe it’s was because of their connection,their history,their understanding and intimacy.Maybe they were also meant to be,no matter what had happened.

Now that he had Y/n here,close to him,breathing his same air and complimenting his flowers,he would’ve done everything to adjust what he had done wrong.When something breaks,if the pieces are large enough,it can be fixed.Unfortunately sometimes things doesn’t break,they shatter.But if the light comes in,the shattered glass start to glitter.And in that moment,the pieces of what they once were catch the sun, he remembered just how beautiful it was and how beautiful it will always be.

«Have you seen the peonies yet?»Aegon asked a moment later,leading her through the green and floral paradise.

«Yes,»she answered kindly«but i would like if you’d shown them to me.»she was walking close to him,their arms brushing against each other.

Red peonies symbolise love,passion,honor and respect,all the things that he felt for her and grew along the flowers«Do you like them?»he sounded unsure,but he really hoped that she did.

«I prefer the white tulips»Y/n answered,turning her head towards him«But this peonies are very beautiful.»and he could feel her smile through the words.

The prince swallowed,the white tulip meaning was “forgiveness”.Was she really trying to tell him that she was forgiving him?

«I can have a bouquet done for you in a-»he was speaking was fast,that she had to place a hand on his chest to stop his rambling.

«Aegon.»Y/n called for him,using his name for the first time«It’s alright,i don’t need that but thank you.»she calmed him down.

Aegon placed his hand over her,letting himself savor that kind contact that he had missed and when she did flinched or said anything,he let out a sigh of relief«Can i show you something else?The violets grew-»

Y/n shook her head,her eyes were lost in his and in the way his thumb was caressing the back of her hand«Let’s talk about something else besides stupid and boring flowers.»she tried to jest with a little giggle.

«Flowers are not stupid.»he said immediately,pretending to be offended.

«Boring and stupid.»she corrected him.

Now they were walking again and it seemed that nothing had changed between them.From the outside,if someone took a closer look,they were still the little kids that used to sit there without any care in the world,with only they growing love to shield them from the reality around them.For a moment everything was right where it was supposed to be,they were talking to each other,laughing at stupid jokes and nothing was wrong was happening.

«Do you remember the fairytale you narrated to me,in this very spot,when we were little kids?»Aegon asked a moment later,it was the first time that he was bringing up the past and he hoped that this topic wouldn’t be to heavy for her.

Y/n eyes seemed confused,she was still playing with the flower in her hands«I’ve narrated you many tales,you need me more specific.»the sound of her light giggling was muffled by the veil but he had heard it right and clear.

The prince smiled,for the first time in a while«It was a tale about a little man,who lived isolated from the rest of the world in his big garden.But people used to go at his door for his roses.»he tried to explain,remembering her words as they walked in the nature.

«It wasn’t for the roses»she corrected him«it was for the thorns.»a small smile stretched her lips under the veil.

In the Reach they had many stories.Whispered tales,good night fairy tales,legends narrated on the tip of lips,at the light of a candle.The best known was the one about the “Thornmaker”.It narrated of a distant,remote place...A world where no one was able to feel anything,and people lived on empty souls,bare of emotions.But hidden from everyone,in the immense solitude of his garden,there was a little man dressed in shadows.A lonely,pale and curved craftsman,who from his beautiful roses was able to make crystal thorns.

People went to him,asking to be able to smile,to laugh,to cry,to be able to feel a shred of feeling - because in them hides love and the most compassionate of goodbyes.They are the most intimate extension of the soul,what,more than joy or happiness,makes you feel truly human.

And the craftsman satisfied them,creating for each one of them a single thorn that was able to make them feel what their hearts truly wanted:love,joy,happiness,all by the sting of a thorn.But then people started to become greedy,wanting to feel more and soon the pure and soft emotions were replaced by anger,despair,pain and anguish.They were lacerating passions,disillusions and tears,tears,tears - the craftsman infected a pure world,tinged it with the most intimate and usary feelings.

Mothers,Septas and nannies used to whisper this tales to children before putting them to bed,to teach them that every child can be good;that they must be good,because no one is born bad.It is not in their nature.And to never let themselves be too greedy,to never want what they couldn’t have.

«The Thornmaker.»Aegon remembered now,nodding his head.

Y/n hummed«You were scared of him»she suddenly said,her chest was moving up and down to suppress a laugh at the memory«The day that i told you about him,we had spent the same night awake in the kitchens because you were afraid to go to sleep.»she teased him,her eyes were still soft though.

Aegon stopped walking,they both stood there looking at each other and said nothing.That kind of nothing that meant everything at the same time.

«I wasn’t scared of him.»he corrected her«I was scarred of you.»he breathed out,feeling vulnerable under the light.

«Me?»Y/n asked surprised,her eyes widened and instinctively she brought the rose in her hand close to her chest.

«Yes,you were terrifying for me.»his chest was heavy and he was chewing on his bottom lip,trying to explain what he had kept hidden all this years.

«I didn’t know that-»she stuttered,feeling vulnerable too.

Sensing the panic that was blooming in her,Aegon reassured her immediately«Not in a bad way.You know that warm feeling you get when the sun is shining on your skin for a bit?»he asked.

Carefully he let his hand reach for hers,he had to hold himself to not combust when the soft texture of her skin touched the rogue one his.It was still her hands,even after all this years,her skin was delicate,warm as it caressed his.And when she nodded,he kept talking and holding her hand.

«That’s how I feel when I’m with you.The sweet way you look at me,as if I was the only person in the world and you are right at home with me,it's special and it scared me.»Aegon throat was burning,his lips were trembling with each word he spoke and she listened carefully to all of them.

She had planted in him a thorn,right in the palm of his hand,right in the gardens like she was his own special Thornmaker,making him feel that he never knew could feel before and it scared him.It was a beautiful kind of fear in the beginning but then he became greedy to feel more and it ruined everything for them.

«But then»he continued«I dream every night that you look at me without recognizing me.»they had promised to each other,so many moons ago,that not matter what,they will always have a memory of what they were once.

Y/n eyes were shining,crystal tears were threatening to slide down her covered face and wet her dark veil.Even if he couldn’t see it,her lips parted but no word could made it out if not a brief choked breath.

«Please tell me that i’m not as forgettable as your silence is making me feel.»he had no right to look this heartbreakingly beautiful as he pleaded to her and surely he had no right to ask her something like this,no after what he did.

«I thought of you everyday.»Y/n whispered,so sincerely that made his heart burst.

«You did?»he had to make sure.

She nodded«How could i not?The handsome prince that promised me that we would’ve been together forever.Is not something easy to forget.»she was trying so hard to not cry in front of him.

«And we will.»Aegon immediately said«Everything will be better from now on.»he was holding onto that promise.

«Aegon-»she shook her,she seemed distressed.

«What’s troubling you?»he asked softly,still caressing her hand.

Y/n took a step back«I can’t go back to myself.»and then,with the next words,it made it shatter on the ground«Not after-»she stopped herself,breathing heavily at the memory.

Suddenly the garden became to big and she was nine years away.Y/n let go his hand and the rose she was holding in the other fell silently on the ground,alongside the pieces of their hearts.

«Y/n.»»he whispered,he was really crying now and his chest was hurting with every breath he took in.«I desperately wish that things could just go back to the way they were before,trust me.»he sincerely revealed.

«Aegon,there are things that you don’t know about and that are much bigger than both of us.»she tried to make him understand.

«Then explain them to me.»he pleaded,trying to reach for her hand again«What’s wrong?If you tell me,I’ll fix it for you»he asked again.

She was scared of something,he could feel it just by looking at her,and she was trying to hide it as if she could protect for what the future was planning for them.But he wouldn’t let her to be alone in her pain,if it was too heavy he would’ve help her carry it.

The Lady shook her head,tears were hiding in the corner of her eyes«I’m sorry.»was all that she said before leaving him alone once again.

Aegon didn’t knew how he survived till the dinner that his grandfather had informed him that would’ve been hosted that late evening.He didn’t knew how he had walked inside the castle again,right in chambers and never leaving the bed till his mother had came to talk to him like they were supposed to do in the morning.

She,his beautiful Y/n,hated him and she had every right to do so.He had ruined everything,not only her delicate and young face,but what they had created between them.There was no turning back and it was all his fault.How dangerous and self destructive was for him to let her place her thorn in him,to let her be the only light to touch his soul and his heart.Now he was doomed,alone in his darkness as he selfishly thought that she could’ve forgiven him.

When the clear azure sky was painted in dark blue and the pale moonbeams replaced the warm rays of the sun,his entire family was reunited for dinner.Aegon didn’t heard a word of what his mother had said to him in his room that early evening,that’s why he looked surprised to see Cressida and her father,Tyland Lannister,sitting next his brother and sister but most importantly he was surprised to see his youngest brother,Daeron next were his Y/n was sitting quietly.

«Finally.»his mother came in the view,with her hands she was trying to adjust his messy short hair«Take a seat and be good,your father will be here soon.»she informed him.

Aegon nodded distractedly«Pretty dress.»he had murmured walking to where Cressida was sitting.

But his eyes were on Y/n.He noticed her first when he entered the room,she was sitting in the corner and she was wearing a light green dress that fitted her perfectly.Her long hair were braided on her head and a dark green veil was covering her face as usual.She was breathtaking as she stood there silently,while her mother,such a vile and loud woman who didn’t spare him a kind look or any words,was talking to her.

«Brother.»then Daeron had greeted him with a bright smile,opening his arms as he walked towards him.

The room was illuminated by the soft light of candles,the air smelled of wine and fresh flowers,the noisy of people taking to each other and of the servants that were walking in and out fell to deaf ears.

«Daeron?»Aegon was indeed happy to see him,it had been years since he was sent to Oldtown to their uncle.

Daeron was taller now,his muscular frame more defined for his seventeen years of age,but the pure smile on his handsome face and his bright and kind purple eyes,were still the same as the young little boy that used to follow his older brothers everywhere.

«It’s good to see you.»his younger brother said,he seemed nervous though as if he knew something.

Aegon forced a smile on his face«It’s good to see you too.But why are you here?»he asked,confusion all over his face.

Daeron cleared his throat,looking around the room for a moment«Didn’t you spoke with our mother?»he said quietly.

Why was everyone still holding on this?First Ser Criston,then his grandfather,now him.He didn’t wanted to talk with his mother he wanted to talk with Y/n.He wanted to be alone in the room with her,not surrounded by all this people that were accusing him with their eyes.

«Of course.»Aegon lied,his mother came to talk to him but he didn’t listened to her.

Daeron seemed relieved«Good,i hope that everything can still remain fine between us.»he said then,making his brother look even more confused.

Before Aegon could said something,asking what was going on,his father made his entrance.The king health was not the best,after nine years his infection grew drastically and now he looked like the empty shell of the man he used to be.His father had lost almost all of his hair,some of his teeth and his left hand but he could still walk on his own.

The young prince took place in between his younger brother Aemond that gave him a quick glance,as if he knew what was going to happen,and Lady Cressida that smiled immediately at him,she seemed very happy.

On the other side of the table,right in front of him,Y/n was avoiding his heavy gaze keeping her head slightly turned to where Daeron was sitting next to her.He was speaking to her,whispering something in her ear like he was used to do such a intimate gesture for all his life,and she was nodding at every word.

That,that kind of closeness,that understanding and that way to speak to each other made him want to rip his eyes out.But most importantly made him finally realize what was going on.It made him realize why his mother insisted to speak with him,why Cressida was holding his arm and smiled so much,why Daeron was suddenly back and why he was so close to Y/n.

Aegon felt like he was going to faint,his eyes were shining under the light of candles,his heart was beating so fast that he almost couldn’t understand the words coming out his father mouth.

«Cheers for spring,for life and for a growing soul.»the King spoke,sitting at the center of the long table and holding up his cup.

«Aye!»Aegon heard the people in the room,watching them raise their cups in the air.

But he didn’t,he remained quiet and didn’t moved,his Y/n stood still and silent.

«But also for the growing of our families.»his father continued,his mother face was gleaming and his grandfather was clapping his hands«Our three houses will be united together as one.»his voice sounded tired and what he was saying didn’t seemed to be his idea.

Aegon felt Cressida excited thrill,but his eyes were setting on the figure in front of him.Y/n was looking at him now,her eyes,once bright with light,looked empty as he watched him.Little tears growing with every minute that the king took before delivery the news that would’ve pulled them apart even more.

«My first born son,prince Aegon,will marry Lady Cressida by the end of the spring.»his father announced.

It was like being trapped in his mind all over again,but this night he couldn’t wake up because the wasn’t dreaming.The nightmare was right outside his head,under the form of a young Lady of the House Lannister that was gripping his arm and was so happy to become his wife.

«What?»he let out,turning towards his mother.

«Aegon.»this one silenced him with a stern look and a fake smile on her face.

The prince turned to look in front of him«Y/n?»he whispered,did she knew about this?Was she alright about what it was happening?

The young Lady blinked her eyes for e few times,like she was trying to resist the urge to cry«I’m sorry.»she was saying,just like she did earlier in the gardens.

But what really broke his calm and composed demeanor were the next words«My youngest son,prince Daeron,will marry Lady Y/n once the summer will arrive.»and with that everything was gone.

The room fell away,all that he could see was red.He have done bad things.He couldn’t take them back,and they were part of who he was.Most of the time,they seem like the only thing he was.But who was the real him?The person who did something awful or the one horrified but the awful thing he did?Would one part of him be allowed to forgive the other?

It didn’t mattered in the moment,a blinding rage of jealousy was leading him,pulsing in his veins and pumping in his heart.He was envying his brother,for receiving something he had been praying for all his life only when he believed that it was the last piece of it. For his brother,the one with a beautiful patience,it's a moment of celebration.

«I will make you a happy wife.»Daeron told Y/n with a kind smile.

But for Aegon,it was like he was saying:«Look, it's obtainable.I am on the right path living for the right dream.Your dream.»

Everything was blurred after that,Aegon couldn’t remember what had happen precisely.Only that everyone were screaming,that Aemond and some of the guards had to drag him away,that his mother was crying and that Daeron face was a bloody mess under his heavy knuckles.

But most importantly that his Y/n was looking at him,the same way that she did when he had last saw her.And right now he felt like he had lost her all over again.

[callmeklair]

I wonder what are your favourite pairings in DL? Can you give us a rank of DL ships 👀

//contains route spoilers and sorry if it gets a little long 😭

there are so many cute and adorable ships, in their own way, that it took me years to select my fav ships, and here they are with rankings:

1. shinyui: aside from shin being embodiment of anger and impatience, i seriously have lost the count of how many times i have re-read his DF route, like the character development and their bonding is so wholesome. the way yui is ready to give up everything even if it means she will have to keep running away from people for the rest of her life with shin, she was ready to throw it all just so she can be with shin and shin trying to push her away so that she can be happy in a comfortable place instead of being stuck with him in his mess and get targeted. even in LE he pushed her away scared that she might get endzeit and suffer from its symptoms and he didn't want her to wither in pain and would rather let himself go through it alone than see her harmed.

2. carlayui: his character development was so smooth and amazing to watch, seeing him and yui bond over books was also adorable to watch especially it was the first time his soft side came out, i think it was also due to Yui that he gave up on taking revenge on karlheinz and instead BOWED to him just to bring yui back to life.

3. shuyui: shu giving yui queen treatment by still being his lazy self>>>>>>>> the difference in shu's behaviour can certainly be seen from the first game and the latest game despite keeping the same lazy attitude. the development is so good, if i keep talking this post will become endless.

4. reiyui: Reiji slowly opening up and protecting yui in his own rational way by planning instead of going all fighting so that she won't be hurt or get involved in this dangerous battle is the best character development. yes he was like that from the start about planning and all that, but he who was prideful and always boosted of being a vampire started to question where vampires come from and if they were originally human in DF route. and he even said that he will choose yui over being a vampire. and in his more blood vampire ending, when little Reiji said how servants are afraid of him and his inventions because his mother and brother are distant from him. Young Reiji also mentioned how he always carries his self made ointment around because his brothers are clumsy but nobody wants to use it. proof he was the best boi from the start in his own way.

5. subayui: SubaruYui was my first ship that i would do anything for. I mean my tsundere gentle boy deserves the whole world. I haven't read HDB routes much because too much violence isn't my cup of tea ik ironic but i did read manga and also his MB route, there was a lot of development I can say. and let me not get started on his DF route, not only in his route but it can be seen that subaru had soft spot/feelings for yui in others' routes too, even in kou's LE route, he didn't give up on Yui. He is very protective of her in anime too, probably why they were my first ship.

6. rukiyui: his DF route and anime is what attracted to me this ship because of all the angst. His MB route and CL route definitely didn't disappoint me. In DF he pushes away Yui to not betray karlheinz but later confronts karl as yui is the most important person and the best thing happened to him in his life aside from his brothers. In the MB he was even ready to become a snake and actually became a snake to take yui away. His CL route felt like I was reading a married couple's life and it was refreshing to read compared to all his other routes which involved angst and drama

7. kouyui: The ups and downs in his MB route for his character development was understandable especially after knowing the kind of environment he was in. there were times when I just wanted to smack kou so badly on his head for his treatment towards yui. Then i read his DF route and it was literally all angst and i think when yui said "what do you mean useless!?!???" when kou said he cannot become Adam while crying, thinking it's useless for Karl's plan but still wants to love her after almost ahem himself from the terrace and Yuma & Azusa saved him from his own pool of blood.

8. azusayui: i just recently started reading his DF route and oh my god he is literally the best boi, I'm still reading his route but he is already getting into my heart because he is such a cinnamon boy 😭.

one of my fav ships is ayayui too but the way all the above ships have raised my standards... i still love them and enjoy their content.

[a-libra-writes]

Yaaaayyyyyy requests are back!!! I love your writing so much😭😭😭😭 can i ask for my ASOIAF bois: Jamie, Stannis, Jorah, Sandor (feel free to change the list) when they found out their s/o is injured but their s/o was hiding it from them because s/o didn't want them to worry?

Your boys are at the front :> along with some others i thought of and have been requested over the past few weeks.

Jaime - This man has the nerve to get annoyed with you, asking all sorts of questions about how it happened or how bad it is. He is just as bad about hiding his own hurts, emotional or physical, but does he recognize the irony here? No. The more severe the injury, the more irritated he'll be, and if someone actually did it you can bet Jaime's going to be reckless about retaliation. That may be why you hid it in the first place! He has no experience with treating wounds, so finding some way to retaliate is the only thing Jaime can think of doing to help.

Stannis - Oh, he'd be beyond annoyed with you. It seems reckless to him - yes, he'd worry, but that would only be natural. Expect a lot of grumbling and a lecture as he looks over the injury and does what he can. He'd check on you regularly, even if he's busy, or at least send a maester to ensure it's healing properly. Even before he found out, Stannis probably picked up something was off, but couldn't put his finger on it - now he understands you were trying to walk normally or mask pain. Stannis might take it a little harsher than you intended, wondering why you felt the need to hide it. Was there a different reason?

Jorah - Jorah does not take this well, and that may be the reason why you hid the injury in the first place. You being wounded feels like he's failed in some way - failed to prevent it, failed to help you care for it. He'd be insistent on helping care for it and you'd end up listening to some lectures as he did so. Jorah wants to be relied upon and to be useful, so it's painful when you don't go to him with something like this. He forgives you quickly, though; he always does. Jorah asks you to promise to tell him next time your hurt, maybe even begs. He hates that you could've been hurting and he didn't know it.

Sandor - His temper flares up once he figures it out. He knew you were moving strangely, and why'd you hide it? So he wouldn't worry? The Hound might bark a laugh at that, if he wasn't so pissed. It's fucking stupid to not treat a wound like that, and he tells you as much. There's been plenty of times where he's disregarded his own injuries, but that's different. He's used to being hurt, taking punishment - you aren't that way. You shouldn't be. As much as he distrusts maesters and healers, you both find one, and he glowers the whole time. Well, at least his foul mood is concentrated on someone else ...

Asha - She could just smack you upside the head. She still might, if you resist getting treatment. While you're being taken care of, Asha's really letting you have it. You aren't one of those empty-headed Ironborn warriors, so why are you endangering yourself? She isn't amused by it being for her sake - she's strong, she can take it. She could've gotten you help. Asha's anger fizzles out quickly, especially if you're already contrite. Once the healer is gone, she takes your hand and makes you promise not to hide next time.

Arianne - She knew something was up! You can't hide the injury for long, because she was noting your different gait, your change in attitude. She just confronts you directly, so your plan of hiding goes out the window within days. She might throttle the maester who tried to hide it too, but that's for later. Arianne helps change the bandages herself, speaking quietly yet firmly that she doesn't want you to do this again. The way Arianne sees it, worries you all the time, so it's only natural she gets a taste of her own medicine once in a while.

Ned - If he's busy and you're clever about hiding it, it may take some time for Ned to notice. Some things may strike him as odd, like if he noticed you walking strangely one day or you seemed tight-lipped, but once he finds out the full truth he just feels confused and guilty. Ned doesn't consider any worrying to be a burden; he ought to worry, as your lord husband, and he wishes you came to him rather than hide it. He also feels more guilt over not having noticed right away. With a serious expression (yet still in his soft voice), Ned would ask you to not hide your pains next time, and he'll do the same.

Benjen - He caught onto you acting and moving strangely, and considering how observant he is, figured you'd hurt yourself in some way. There's plenty of ways to get hurt on Castle Black, let alone the constant aches that come with the cold. When some time passes, he eventually brings it up with you, since you aren't mentioning it. He figures that you didn't want to worry him, but Ben wouldn't hide such things from you, so he'd rather you be upfront with him - and once he figures it's a more serious wound, his usual lighthearted, joking expression fades and he asks you to not hide such things. He'd be actually upset if you hadn't sought any treatment. Out in this cold and wilderness, you must let yourself accept help.

Mance - He understands, regardless if you're a Ranger with the Wall or a wildling he met far beyond it. No matter which side, showing weakness is often not an option. He figures you're wounded because he notices you walking and moving differently, trying not to put too much stress on it. He'll just ask you if he can look at it and try to help - and he's surprised if you were hiding it for his sake. It seems a little silly, but Mance would never mock you. Mance just asks that you tell him next time - he insists upon it - so he can help. He'll worry much less if he directly treated the wound.

[willyoubethepookietomypookster]

"Last Christmas"

ITS OUTTTTT!!!!! FINALLY. Enjoy this piece, cuz this is probably the second to last piece I'll make regarding good omens unfortunately. I can only stay in a fandom for a few weeks before i lose interest, but i got a request and im determined to finish that. Also i added my own oc in here cuz i didn't wanna write (your best friend) the entire time 😭😭 Enjoy!!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

It had been a few months since Aziraphale left to become the Archangel of heaven, and Crowley was hit hard. You don't know exactly what happened, but you know it was bad. Crowley wanted to up and abandon the bookshop all together, but you couldn't exactly be left alone with Muriel. You love her, but she cannot take care of a human, let alone a teenager. As much as it pained Crowley, he stayed in the shop with you, because he was living in his car and he didn't wanna have you do that too. You've tried to contact Aziraphale a handful of times, but it only worked once. He was on call for 30 seconds and you made him promise to come home for Christmas before the line cut out and you had to give up. Its now December 22, and you're awaiting Aziraphales arrival any minute. You mailed him a phone for Christmas, with your number attached to a note, but he isn't allowed to have contact with earth, so he's been discreetly texting you. Since he's Archangel, he can technically do what he wants, but the higher ups dislike when he tries to check in on earth. The only reason he was even allowed to be here in the first place was because he lied about wanting to study human emotion during the holiday. Well, not exactly a lie, he has to study your emotion to be able to pass his trip off as work. You hadn't told Crowley yet, because you didn't know how he'd react, but you also couldn't let Aziraphale be a surprise because that felt wrong. You had finished sorting some books and decorating the house when you walked into the room to tell your father figure the news.

"Pa..??" You asked warily. He looks up at you and raises an eyebrow, signalling you to talk.

"Uhm....you know how its Christmas n all???" You say, and he looks confused.

"Yeah...?" He says.

"Uhhh...." You squeeze your eyes shut. "Can I invite my friend over??" You practically shout. Of course you chickened out, how could you tell him that the love of his life, who left him for a place he doesn't even like that much, was coming back within the hour? He nods slowly.

"Is that it? Of course you can." He takes a sip of the drink in his hand. You nod and excuse yourself, inviting your friend Ivory over like you said you would.

"Hey Ivy!" You said into the house phone.

"What do you need y/n?" She said.

"Wanna come over today? Its gonna be kinda a Christmas party, but not really."

"Oh sure, let me get ready and I'll be over."

"Kay!"

A little while later, you started pacing around the house, awaiting Aziraphales arrival. You had this feeling in your stomach that made you feel sick. Anxiety.

"What are you all uptight for?" Crowley asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Uhhhh..." You say, avoiding eye contact and wringing your hands together. You let out a deep breath. "Aziraphale is coming over.." You say, looking up for a quick second. Something flashes across Crowley's features, but he notices how scared you are and he just nods.

"Okay.." He replies, and goes back to downing his drink. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and nod. You have such relief that it takes everything in you not to cry.

"Thanks pa.." You say, your voice wavering. He waves you off and you leave.

You have finally finished setting up when your friend arrives. You run to open the door and see Ivory standing there with a plate of brownies and cookies in her hands.

"Aw Ivy, you didn't have to bring anything!" You say, carefully taking the plate from he hands and inviting her in.

"Its fine, I never come to a party empty handed." She replies. You give her a tour of the bookshop and then introduce her to Crowley.

"This is Cro-...Anthony.." You tell her. She walks up to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Ivory." She says. He nods in acknowledgement and starts walking around, inspecting the bookshop. You walk up to Aziraphales gramophone and put on a Christmas Classics record. The first song is Jingle Bell Rock, and you and Ivory start dancing to it. Crowley walks in on you guys vibing, and an odd expression crosses his face before he leaves you be.

After a few songs, there's a knock on the door. You and Crowley both look at each other for a fraction of a second before you're rushing towards the door. You rip it open and throw your arms around Aziraphale and buring your face in his neck. He starts laughing and pats your back.

"I missed you too, Y/n."

You pull back and really look at his face. He looks tired, and he's grown a beard since he's been gone. He steps inside and you introduce him to Ivory. You show him all the decorations you put up, and you then lead him to the living room to show him the Christmas tree. He enters the living room and glances at Crowley. They share a lingering gaze before he snaps out of it and turns his attention towards the tree.

"Its breathtaking, dear." He says while smiling down at you. You nod and smile.

"Thanks, dad." He hugs you again and looks around.

"Wheres Muriel?" He asks.

"She went back to heaven for the week." Crowley replies.

"Oh.." Aziraphale says. The tension between them is obvious, and you guys sit in silence for a little bit before Ivory comes in and starts pulling you up.

"COME ON. THEY'RE PLAYING THE SONG!!" She shouts. You stumble to your feet as she keeps tugging on your arm.

"WHAT SONG???" You yell, startled. Aziraphale chuckles at your antics and stands up.

"I can move the gramophone in here, if you'd like." He says.

"Yes please!!!" You and Ivory say in unison.

He snaps his fingers and suddenly the gramophone is on a table in the main room. Ivory's eyes grow wide and Aziraphale seems to notice what he's done, because he starts stammering and trying to make excuses. Crowley rolls his eyes, and Ivory chuckles.

"Its fine, Mr. Fell. Y/n told me all about how you did magician work in your spare time." Ivory states and winks at you. Crowley groans at the mention of magic and Aziraphale smiles brightly. Aziraphale looks at you.

"Why of course she did! My magic is stage worthy. I once performed at the West End!" He boasts. Ivory feigns a surprised gasp.

"Oh my!! Thats incredible! Did the crowd throw roses?" She says, smiling. Aziraphales face falters for a moment, recalling the blank stares and boos, but nods nonetheless.

"Of course!! I'm one of the greatest, after all." He's practically shining. The song has long been forgotten, you and Ivory chat with Aziraphale for a while. Crowley stares longingly, but pretends to drink anytime Aziraphale looks over.

Soon enough, you've all been chatting and eating for an hour or so. Crowley has been unusually quiet, and Aziraphale has not spoken a word about him or heaven since he arrived. You grab Aziraphales hand and place him right next to Crowley.

"Stay. Don't even think about moving, I'm gonna grab something really quick."

"Y/n-" He starts, but you've already grabbed Ivory and dragged her away. He and Crowley sit in silence for a moment, before Crowley speaks up.

"So hows the big fancy office job? Better than down here?" Crowley asks. Aziraphale immediately spins to face him, word vomiting his concerns.

"I hate it! Well, hate is a strong word, but I hate itt!! I miss you and Y/n. It's stressful and the angels are prideful pompous jerks. Metatron is always on my ass for something or another, Micheal never shuts up about 'restarting Armageddon' At this point I think I miss Gabriel too." He sputters out. Crowley looks at him starstruck.

"...You miss me..??" He asks. Aziraphale turns red and scratches his cheek.

"Well of course I do, you're my closest friend." Aziraphale replies, and Crowley can't help but chuckle.

"Yeah, friend." He mutters. He looks over to Aziraphale and gives him a hard stare. "You aren't forgiven." He says. Aziraphale looks confused for a moment before his eyes go wide with realization.

"O-oh! Of course not! I- I mean.. I haven't even apologized or anything." He turns away, takes one of Crowley's hands and starts tracing little star patterns on it. "But I am sorry. Really sorry. And I obviously miss you." He says. Crowley blushes, but pulls his hand away anyway.

"Its gonna take more than that you know." Crowley practically spits. Aziraphale flinches and looks like he's about to cry, but nods and smiles anyway.

"I know. I know." He whispers that last part, and almost stands up to leave before the girls come rushing back in. They're holding four hot chocolates, each one having marshmallows and candy canes in them.

"We have hot coco!!!!!!!" You yell. You quickly walk over to them and hand them each a drink. Crowley waves his hand.

"I don't want any, thanks." He says blandly.

"TAKE IT." You spat. Not in a mean way, but in a 'I'm going to kick you so hard if you don't' way. Crowley nods, holding back a smile, and takes it. Aziraphale chuckles at your antics and sips his coco.

You and Ivory drink and snack for a little while, when Last Christmas starts playing. Ivory quickly pulls you to your feet, and you guys start singing.

"LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU MY HEART!!" You sing

"BUT THE VERY NEXT DAY, YOU GAVE IT AWAY!!" She sings back.

"THIS YEAR, TO SAVE ME FROM TEARS, I'LL GIVE IT TO SOMEONE SPECIAL!!!" You guys sing together. Crowley and Aziraphale exchange a look, before going back to watching you two. You guys do this for a while, before the lyrics change to something that hits too close to home.

"Wrapped up a gift and sent it, with a note saying I love you, I MEANT IT!! Now I know what a fool I've been, but if you kiss me now I know you'll fool me again!!!" You guys sing together. Aziraphale looks directly at Crowley this time, and grabs his hand. Crowley looks at him and they both stare at each other's lips for a second, before Aziraphale cups his face with his hand, and pulls him in for a tender kiss. You and Ivory stand there start struck, before you guys turn up the music and pretend you didn't see anything. Crowley leans into the kiss and grabs Aziraphales face. They quickly pull away after about thirty seconds. Crowley glares at Aziraphale, but makes no move to get away or wipe the kiss off his face. Crowley tears up a little bit and kisses Aziraphale again, just a peck this time, and moves away.

"You still aren't completely forgiven yet." Crowley huffs, and Aziraphale just laughs.

"Well, I'll just have to spend all my waking hours making it up to you then. I'll tell Metatron I quit, and pray he doesn't kill me in return." He says. Crowley smiles and gives him another peck.

"Lets go to Alpha Centuri sometime, yeah?" He asks. Aziraphale smiles too.

"Yeah."

[sflow-er]

would kill to know more about august’s relationship with his mom like youre telling me your son gets caught for committing a crime and you still dont care enough to even come see him and see whats going on 😭 maybe im looking too much into it bc i wanna dissect him like a lab rat but really like she seems so neglectful

Hello anon! Thank you for the ask 💜

I've felt since first watching S1 that August's mother Louise really is neglectful. Let's look at the glimpses we get of her:

Erik says to Wille in S1E2 that she sent August to Hillerska shortly after his dad's suicide. Fair enough, I'm sure August wanted to go and probably lashed out at her for "not making life easier" for Carl Johan. But she seems to have essentially just left him there without any proper followup on how he was dealing with everything. His grief, their financial situation, his sudden responsibility having to take over from his father... As his mother, she should have made sure he got some help - counselling with Boris for example, but that clearly didn't happen. Based on all the issues August developed in the time leading up to canon, he has dealt with precisely none of his trauma, which also left him so very open to Erik's abuse and influence at Hillerska (as we now know).

She let August believe she would get the boarding money for him up until S1E3, only to turn up at Parents' Day and tell him to get it himself. By selling some of his father's belongings that she must have known meant everything to him. Yeah, that was probably the best and only solution, but the way she handled it was abysmal. And then she seemed surprised that August was angry and disappointed... Whereas August's reaction seemed to hint that this wasn't the first time she let him down (at least in my interpretation).

She was nowhere to be found in the aftermath of the video. August returned to Hillerska early from Christmas break, and it was plain to see he wasn't doing well at all. But we didn't get a single hint of her trying to reach out, nor did she seem all that worried when he suddenly called her weeks later and told her to buy a random horse (despite saying before that he would rather die than tap into his inheritance). She did ask why, but when he said "because I want to", she just dropped the subject.

And as you pointed out, we also didn't see her after he was caught. I'm sure we're meant to infer that August has been in touch with both her and Rickard since Rickard is representing him, but her absence from our screens or even the dialogue leaves a very specific taste. He may be 18, but he's still her son, and she should be there when he fucks up to the point of committing an actual crime. Asking what the hell he was thinking and demanding that he talk to someone about all his problems. This could've been brought up when he had to start seeing Boris after his fight with Wille, for example.

(Not to mention the missed opportunity of having her ask how he feels about having to sell Årnäs for the settlement! I will forever be bitter that this happened off camera and we didn't see August's reaction at all. It would've benefited the story on several levels to actually show his pain.)

So yeah. We could well see Louise again in the finale, but considering August still considers Sara the only person he's ever really been able to talk to... His mother definitely hasn't been there for him enough. I do not blame her for wanting to live her own life at all, especially as her marriage to Carl Johan was probably hell towards the end, but it sure seems like August is yet another example of how the adults in YR have let their children down.