#it's so painful 😭 she probably felt like she didn't even know him at all

[pulling-a-jowan]

Hearing Hawke say "I don't know if there ever was just an "Anders"" broke me a little bit

[gyll-yee-haw]

Could you write Donnie crushing on the reader and he walks in while she's in the shower or like changing and he acts like it's nothing, he apologizes and leaves so she can get situated and then that's that BUT he CANNOT forgot about it and he goes home being a perv thinking of how beautiful she is and he gets horny

Donnie doesn't know when to stop

Absolutely gross, hottest thing I ever wrote. I love pathetic men <3

Warnings: accidentally perv!Donnie, he's OBSESSED with you, masturbation (m), edging, ruined orgasm, he's so sub! it hurts, pain!kink, virgin!Donnie, unprotected sex

Fucking 3k words, looks like Maria doesn't know when to stop EITHER 😭

---

You had to do a school project together and he was losing his mind about it

Like yeah, you were friends and you used to hang out all the time, but only at school

Now he was going TO YOUR HOUSE

It felt so intimate just being there

It was nothing much, but he was so obsessed with you it made him act that ridiculous

He was so nervous that he just couldn't sit still at home, so he decided to head to your place, even though it was a bit earlier than you expected

He thought he could just hang out in front of your house until the time you were expecting him to come

The problem was that your mom was leaving the house and found him seating there

"Oh, you must be Donnie! Y/N is waiting for you, come in!"

He should have said no, that it was still too early, but your mom said you were waiting... so maybe you were ready? He shouldn't keep you waiting

"I'm going to work right now. She's in her room, upstairs." Your mom told him, before closing the door and leaving

So he went upstairs, obviously

You just got out of the shower, and was pacing around the room, a towel wrapped around your body, looking for a cute outfit to wait for Donnie

Your bedroom door was open, since you thought you were alone at home

Donnie was very shy, walking upstairs without making a sound, just thinking about what should he say to you, rehearsing in his mind what kind of greeting would make him sound... not terrified

He stopped immediately when he saw you

It was so wrong to just stand there and stare, but it was impossible not to

He watched as you placed your clothes on the bed, letting the towel fall at your feet

Felt like his blood abandoned his body

It couldn't be real, he must be dreaming...

But it only lasted a few seconds, until you looked towards the door and saw him

You let out a scream, completely horrified

Then you slammed the door shut

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? SHOULDN'T YOU BE HERE IN AN HOUR?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I swear I didn't... I wasn't trying to... listen." He tried to explain, but he couldn't find the words. He was probably more embarrassed than you. "I think... I think I should go"

"Yeah, you should..." was all you could say, sitting on the floor wondering if you'd ever be brave enough to see his face again

He walked home absolutely heartbroken. He couldn't believe that he had ruined EVERYTHING. Now you thought he was a perv... you'd never talk to him again

He didn't feel anything but shame and sadness until he went to bed that night

I guess that's when the adrenaline rush wore out and he thought about it all

It didn't last more than 15 seconds, but during that time you were completely naked right before his eyes... and so close he could smell the lotion on your body

Maybe he was crazy, but the fact that you were getting ready to see him...

He imagined you applying the lotion to your skin a few minutes before he walked in... you were probably thinking about him while you did so... I mean... you knew he was coming over soon

And as if the thought of you applying the lotion to your body wasn't enough to drive him crazy... now he knew what your body looked like

He shivered as the sight of your tits crossed his mind

His hand slowly traveled to his pants zipper

God, he felt so guilty for doing this, it was so so wrong

But his cock was so so hard :(

Poor baby, was in so much pain

Leaking already!!

But the guilt was eating him alive, you were his friend...

That's why he decided to torture himself a bit, would make it all a little less wrong... if he got some punishment, you know

He started stroking his shaft and he got close so pathetically quick

And then he stopped

His heart raced. He had never edged himself before...

He waited for it to fade, before starting again. And then stopping again as he got closer

It was quite addictive... he started to let it go further each time, stroking himself fast and getting impossibly closer to release, then stopping

His cock was leaking so much that it all sounded like a wet mess, masking his ridiculous moans

He started to imagine you there, doing it, punishing him

"Gonna teach you not to spy on naked girls, you fucking perv"

And he would moan "please, Y/N, I'm so sorry..."

I mean, Donnie has an incredible imagination, it was so convincing that he even cried

All while denying his release over and over and over again

Until he couldn't hold it anymore

It was an accident </3

But his orgasm hit him out of nowhere

He cried out "no no no!" as ropes of cum shot out of his cock

He immediately stopped stroking himself and placed his hand on the base of his cock, squeezing it hard enough to hurt

He ruined his own orgasm :/

And he just laid down there looking like a pathetic mess. Tears on his face, his hand and clothes full of cum but his balls still hurt so much from not finishing it

But now he was so so overstimulated he couldn't even dream about touching himself any time soon

Eventually, he passed out from exhaustion

When he woke up the next day, he felt absolutely sick

How the hell was he supposed to see your face at school

Let's be honest, that wasn't the first time he masturbated thinking about you (number was closest to 100th tbh)

And he could always look you in the eye as if nothing happened afterwards

But it felt different now that... he had seen you for real and you knew that

Oh god... were you mad at him? You probably HATED him

He thought about calling in sick

But some force was dragging him out of that bed

He didn't understand it, but the truth was that his obsession with you grew considerably and he just needed to see you, even if you never spoke a word to him again

And part of him... enjoyed it? The idea of you punishing him like that

So yeah, he went to school that day

But he avoided you like the plague

If he saw you in a corridor, he would run in the opposite direction

Spend so much time hiding from you in the bathroom

But he couldn't hide forever

You sneaked behind him when he was looking for something on his locker

"Donnie?" You called, making him drop everything inside the locker, making a terribly loud noise, everyone looked at him

You bursted into laughter, helping him pick some things up

"Thanks." He said, completely unable to look you in the eyes.

"I think we should talk." You said calmly, after seeing how nervous he was

"Yes. Y/N, please, I can't tell you how fucking sorry I am..." he closed his eyes, cursing himself mentally for being so stupid

"It's okay, Donnie" you placed a hand securely on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. I knew you were coming over, I should have been more careful."

He held his breath as soon as your hand landed on his shoulder. It was like your touch reactivated his memories. Then he was stupid enough to look at you

You were giving him such a sweet, sincere smile

God, you were SO beautiful he felt like dropping to his knees right there

"What if you walked me home today? Then you can stay and we'll work on the project. Forget anything that happened, we need to finish it this week." You asked

"That's... that's a great idea." He nodded, even though he would rather die than go to your house anytime soon

But as soon as he saw how okay you were with everything, he calmed down a little. So your friendship wasn't ruined...

You two caught the bus and talked all the way to your neighborhood, like you always did, nothing seemed to change

Then you walked to your house and he started go get tense again

You noticed and you held his hand as you led him through the house

And it wasn't anything new, you always held his hand when he was nervous

Aww a couple of besties <3

Soon enough, he was in your bedroom, where it all happened the day before

You sat on your bed, grabbing all the books you would need, taking to yourself (cause he wasn't listening) about the ideas you had

While Donnie sat on the floor hallucinating about how that was the exact same spot you left your towel fall the day before

If it was right now, it would fall directly on his lap

Like, he didn't even dare to imagine actually touching you, but he would kill someone to have that towel

He would hump on it like a beast

Again, Donnie's imagination is so good and Donnie doesn't know when to stop

That's the source of 99% of his problems

He felt himself getting hard

"Hey, can I use your bathroom really quick?" He asked, before he started sweating in front of you

You nodded and gave him the directions

He walked in, locked the door and splashed water to his face

How the hell was he supposed to get any work done with a fucking boner on

Maybe he should just take care of it quickly in there

In your bathroom, fuck

The amount of times those walls had witnessed your naked body...

He wondered if you had ever touched yourself in there

Yeah, my boy lost his mind

Started stroking himself fast, he couldn't wait to finish and just get everything done so he could go home

But then..... he had the worst idea ever

Cause after what he discovered last night, he didn't want to finish so fast anymore

He just needed to relieve a bit of the pressure, then he would feel better

His dick would probably soften anyway, then he would do something about it back home

He stroked himself until he was on the edge of spilling... then stopped, shoving his dick inside his pants again and going back to your room

Did I mention it was the worst idea ever?

Cause he walked into the room to find you laying in bed on your belly, uniform skirt barely covering your ass

You were focused on whatever you were reading, pen in your mouth

"Come here." You called, without looking at him

He walked back to where he was sitting before, on the floor, but stopped when you said: "no, come sit on the bed, I wanna show you something"

He wanted to say 'oh no, I'm more comfortable on the floor :)' but who the fuck would buy that

He swallowed hard and sat at the very edge of the bed

He didn't want to look, but he could see your pretty little baby blue panties from that angle

And he felt like crying

"I think I have to use the bathroom again." He blurted out loud

"Donnie." You sighed, sitting down next to him. "Are you okay? You've been acting so weird today..."

He knew it wasn't a great opportunity, but it was... an opportunity. One he never had before

"No, I'm not." He admitted. "I have the biggest fucking crush in the world on you. Always had. Since we first met."

"Oh Donnie, you're so silly." You chuckled. "I know that, I asked you what's wrong with you today."

"What do you mean you know that?" His eyes widened.

"It's as obvious as that boner you're trying to cover with your hands" you shrugged

My boy was absolutely flabbergasted

He went through all shades of red the human eye can catch

"You know..." you sat a little closer to him, taking his hands in yours. "Yesterday I was so excited that you were coming over... I wanted to dress up all cute. Picked up a time we would be here alone... thought that maybe, by the end of the afternoon, I'd get you to take my clothes off. I just didn't expect you to catch me without them already... that's why I was so upset, I wanted to take things slow, you know."

He was pretty sure it was all still part of his hallucinations, there was no way you were saying that

You looked down to his pants and you could literally see his cock throbbing

And he caught the way you squeezed your tights at that

"Can I kiss you? Please..." he murmured

"Yes, Donnie." You smiled, leaning close to his lips

It was the sweetest kiss in the world

Until your hand 'accidentally' bumped into his boner :(

And he moaned against your mouth

God, that made you feral

"Donnie, baby, let me help you, you look like you're in so much pain..."

His heart raced... it was like you KNEW

Like you knew exactly what he was into

But let's be honest, he was so horny he was into absolutely everything at the moment

"You don't- you don't have to" he smiled shyly

The most beautiful smile in the world, how could you not want to??

"I'm gonna take care of you, okay?" You said as you slowly unbuttoned his jeans

When his cock jumped free before your eyes, both of you could have cried. Him, from relief. You from the most absolute desire

"Tell me what you like, baby" You began stroking him slowly

"Huh?" He got all nervous. Everyone already thought he was a freak, he didn't need you to think the same. "I-I like you..."

"Yeah?" You smiled at him. "I like you too. You're so sweet, Donnie, can I ask you something?"

He nodded, bitting him lips to prevent loud moans to escape.

"Has anyone ever sat on this pretty cock?" You asked, giving him your best doe eyes

"No..." he admitted, a little embarrassed

Before you could say anything, he grabbed your hand, screaming "stop, please, stop..."

You stopped everything, putting both hands in the air and looking at him wide eyed

"I'm so sorry, Donnie... fuck, you didn't want this? You should have told me, baby, you don't ever have to..."

"No... I wanted this. I wanted this for so long... I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you..." He said. "I just... I was about to cum."

"Well..." you laughed at him. "Isn't that kind of the point?"

Shit.

"Tell me what's on your mind, baby, I wanna help." You offered, seeing how his cock was rock hard and extremely unsatisfied

"It's just that... I like to... hold it sometimes, you know? Feels really good." He admitted, absolutely ashamed of himself

Those words, on that shy tone of his, sent a shiver down your entire body

"Donnie..." you basically moaned his name. "You're so perfect... I can't express how badly I want you, fuck..."

He smiled widely. You kissed that shit out of that gorgeous smile

When you realized, you were already straddling him

"Can I sit on your cock, please? I swear I won't let you cum until you beg me, okay?" You asked

He never agreed to anything that fast, my boy was in HEAVEN

You removed your panties and he helped you slowly sink on his cock

You don't remember ever being that wet before, but it still hurt a bit, because he was so big :)

He was so horny he felt like he might pass out

And then you started moving up and down, up and down

Oh sweet baby boy cried again :(

I mean... all that was happening would be enough to get him desperate, but let's not forget how last night all he got was half of the worst orgasm ever

My boy was starving

"Please, please, stop, I..." he said, and you immediately stopped everything

"Oh baby..." you brought a hand to his face, wiping his tears. "Stop torturing yourself... three times in a row? Let go for me, baby, come on... can I make you cum? Please?"

Yeah, you said you were gonna make him beg, but you were the one who did it, i know

It's just that... Donnie is just a little baby who doesn't know when to stop :(

Of course he said yes, you asked so politely

You removed his cock from you, cause letting him cum inside would be too much for the first time

Considering the state he was in, it could send him to a coma lol

You stroked him so good, prasing him the entire time

"You look so pretty right now, baby, all fucked up for me"

"Come on, I want you go let go for me, you can do it, baby, you deserve it..."

Fuck, he never came that fucking hard in his life

You kept stroking and he kept shooting him load, all over your school uniform :/

He cried out so beautifully and you swore he wasn't coming down ever, he came so muchhh <333

And he just likes the pain of you still stroking his sensitive cock after it was over

Yeah, Donnie doesn't know when to stop :(

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 2

Part 1, Part 2, (Part 3??)

Part 1 was many months ago.. oopsie! Been doing a lot of reading recently and HOLY FUCK I LOVE THE TWISTED SERIES BY ANA HUANG. I JUST FINISHED IT, CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE KING OF SINS SERIES (btw I finished it a long time ago, this draft just never made it out). Do y'all like want some stuff implemented from there, here? I'M THINKING KING OF GREED? 👀

Also.. This was supposed to be my birthday special, but what happened was I became busy and never got around to making a definitive ending.. but don't worry, this isn't where the series ends.

My goodness the taglist on this one almost doubled, to anyone who doesn't want to be part of the tags, please tell me so that I can remove you because this will be the official list and it's still open for more people who wanna see this series.

Warning: Too lazy to proof read since I have so much to do, please tell me any autocorrected, misspelled words in the replies so I can change it.. 😭

My CoD Masterlist

My Simon Riley x You Playlist

Simon sulked, his forehead resting on the soft mattress. His back and neck were aching yet he couldn't get the fear and worry out his head. You clear the fog in your head, your body felt sore despite the semi-comfortable bed you were laying on.

You groan softly, forcing yourself to sit-up, where the fuck was your daughter? Was she safe? In a panic you looked around the room, you let out a long, deep sigh as you saw her laying on the couch. Long blond hair splayed around messily on the pillow with a blanket that was barely hanging onto her body, she looked so peaceful.

You felt movement next to you, Simon woke up. He looks up to you, in a bit of a shock. He didn't say a word before holding you and guiding you back down to lay on the slightly adjusted bed, back against the pillow he fixed behind you, you wanted to fight it and protest but his strength was god-like on your still weak and not well rested body, your throat was dry to the point of pain and obvious discomfort.

Simon knows you better than you know yourself, resentment settled in your blood, felt more than the amount than when you missed him. He took the tightly sealed water bottle on the table next to your bed and pries it open, holding the bottle's opening to your lips.

You took a big gulp with his guide but you gently took the bottle off his hand into your own, your fingers brushing his a bit in the process, basically telling him you could do it yourself. A few more gulps down and your throat was eased, you handed back the water bottle to Simon.

He was fidgeting with his hands, his fingers rubbing and grazing the spot your fingers accidentally touched. You looked down with dismay as he takes the bottle from you and closes it.

Was he so disgusted and revolted by your touch that he's brushing off his fingers from it? You knew you didn't end it good terms but you had no idea he hated you that much. Maybe not.. are you overthinking? Probably.

It was silent, awkward, just hearing the IV drip and the beeps of the heart monitor. Simon wanted to say something so bad but what do you say to the love of your life who you've hurt severely and regret it because you still love her and want to be in her life again? Mouthful, he knows.

Simon had no right to you anymore, he couldn't even scold you and tell you to take better care of yourself anymore because that's what he used to do, it's way too familiar. He couldn't even touch you without him thinking it would make you uncomfortable.

You feel it, rather see it more but Simon wanted to die in the moment. Heavy breaths and clearly restless eyes, disheveled hair..

"How do you feel..?" He said, he looks elsewhere as he wanted to avoid the way your eyes chose to settle on him..

"I don't know..? I don't know how to process all this but there's no physical pain, just nausea.." you said, he got up to call a nurse and alert them that you're awake. He chose to step out while the doctor did the regular routine of checking everything.

"Momma?" You turn to your left at the couch where your daughter was sat up, rubbing her eyes.. she got off it and immediately ran to you, "I'm glad you're okay now.." she said which never failed to make you smile with how caring she tended to be..

"What happened bubs? Momma doesn't remember much except for fainting.." you asked the bundle of joy as you tried to piece back what had happened beforehand..

"I called dada when you fell, momma. I was so scared, I was shouting but you won't wake up.. dada took so long to get there but when he did, he asked me to go in the car while carried you inside to take you here.." she said, you took her off the ground and placed her at your side, embracing her little body.

"I'm sorry bubs, momma should've taken better care of herself.. if I had, I wouldn't have been so sick to the point of unconsciousness.." you felt so guilty, if only it had been under better circumstance then you would've been able to take care of yourself better and not put your child through what must've been a moment that should've set her in a panic.

"It's okay, momma. I'm a big girl now, I can take care of you like you take care of me.." her sweet little voice paused for a moment.

"Momma, what does unconscious mean?" She asked, you laughed, forgetting that she doesn't know the meaning of certain words yet..

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle @darkhorrorwhispers @cyphah @ash-tarte @linaangel @waves-against-a-cliff @fruitymoonbeams-blog @venussdovess @mactavishsgfandwife @thisisaphrodite @holyfeck @avalkyrieofparis @mymelx @ssc7514 @lilaclazer @fandomwarrior98 @spontaneousleo

[ashkabbom]

Thoughts of the Day - Mouthwashing

A/n: I don't know what this is 🧍🏽. I started with one idea and ended up with a completely different one. Lock your doors and windows before you go to sleep, or Jimmy will appear in your room at night.

Versión en español en Wattpad: Libro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Cuenta: ashkabbom)

Versão em português no wattpad: Livro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Conta: ashkabbom)

•Post-Crash!Captain Curly x Reader (Not the focus, but it's still here)

Synopsis/Summary: Situations from every week, questions from every day

Notes: I apologize in advance for the phrase Swansea says😭

Why had he done this? He condemned you all to immediate hell.

That day, the emergency screen, the red lights everywhere and the sound, all of that could only be a bad dream, right? It had to be a nightmare.

What had you done to deserve this? Years of work thrown away with a single action and you don't even know why it was all thrown down the drain without any prior warning.

You loved him like never before, your days with him meant much more than all the work you had in this place.

The layoff was already a problem, but this was beyond what you could handle in the future. If there even was a future.

The tears fell and you felt yourself slowly going crazy. The captain was out of the game now and in his absence they put Jimmy as an anesthetic for the immense despair in everyone on that ship, but it didn't work at all, it was the calm before the storm.

Anya looked as uncomfortable about it as anyone on that ship. Having Jimmy as captain was stressful, to say the least.

You and the others came to a silent agreement about the now captain. He was as cowardly as anyone there, but he was still second in command.

"What do we do next?" You ask, taking a deep breath, wiping your tears on the sleeve of your uniform.

"I don't know, but his painkillers will run out at some point." Anya also looked apprehensively at the captain's situation.

At the same time that you felt anger and disappointment, you also felt worry and uncertainty, you still loved him. The story made sense to some extent, but it didn't match the captain you knew.

"You.. You know how I feel about this, I think it's the right thing to do, Anya." It was weird to think about doing that with someone you like, you don't even know if you can imagine yourself doing such a thing.

She didn't have to answer, but as much as neither of you wanted to, you silently agreed that it was the quickest and least cruel option towards him.

"What a funeral atmosphere." Daisuke's voice coming from the door startles you both, making you turn to look at him.

"Well, this is almost a funeral- Ouch!" You can't even finish before Anya pinches your neck. "Okay okay, I get it."

"And how is it going? How is he?" He approaches the stretcher and looks at the captain, saying good morning and sighing soon after. "At least he's alive..."

"The painkillers help to control the pain and he can... Sleep, I think, or at least not writhe in pain and discomfort." Anya says to Daisuke, knowing that it was impossible for Curly to have any slight improvement in the situation they were in.

"But still no sign of being able to speak, and it would take a miracle for him to actually be able to say something." You say sincerely.

Daisuke nods in acknowledgement, he wondered if keeping the captain in this state for months was right. When they return to Earth, Curly could receive specialized treatment for his situation in a Hospital, right?

"The Totally Spies girls better get back into their disguises, or the Mojo Jojo will find you out." Swansea warns, leaning against the door.

If everyone was in sickbay, Jimmy would probably be hunting one of them around the ship. It's only a matter of time before Jimmy shows up and starts putting stress and pressure on everyone, so Swansea was right.

You pat Daisuke on the shoulder and then look at Anya. "You heard Jerry, girls, back to disguises." Anya lets out a small laugh, a small quiet moment before dealing with the reality of things.

"I'll give the painkiller to the captain this time, I'll see you guys later" You say waving to your colleagues before grabbing the bottle of painkiller.

Daisuke and Anya walk to the door, chatting a bit before agreeing on where each of them would go. "But isn't the Mojo Jojo from The Powerpuff Girls?" Is the last thing you hear Daisuke say before the door closes.

It's just you and him now. No matter how much you tried to ignore it, but you could feel Curly's gaze burning you alive, so many things wanted to be understood with just a single look from his eyes.

If he could say something, what would he say? What would be his version of what happened? Why would he have crashed the ship? Would he want us to keep giving him the painkillers or just end his suffering?

Looking at him, burned, unable to speak or move properly, lying on that stretcher, which was now his bed and the infirmary his room. He just stared, unable to close his eyes at any moment, you didn't know what was going on in his head, it was impossible to guess any feelings he had by looking at his face.

"Yeah, Captain... You should have thought better about your actions before you did this to us..." You say with the painkiller in hand. The urge to cry formed again and made you feel suffocated. "You have to take responsibility somehow at least..."

[kislnd]

silent treatment - george clarke~

synopsis: george leaves y/n wondering what their relationship is, a brief encounter between them gives him the chance to clarify.

notes: noticing i clearly love a cheeky fwb plot 😭 i promise i have other plots stored in the drafts (also the fact this was not the george fic i was talking about in my previous post loool expect that one eventually)

requests are also open!

warnings: slightly mature & angsty, mentions of alcohol

word count: ~2.9k

masterlist

y/n found herself mindlessly checking her notifications yet again. as expected, there was nothing new. stop it, pull yourself together, she mentally cursed herself - never in a million years did she think a man could have this effect on her. usually she was fairly good at moving on, independence had always been her thing, but this time it was definitely different and she didn't know why. quite frankly it was scary, although she did feel like this unexplored territory was equally exciting as it was terrifying. over the past week y/n had been unable to shake him from her mind, flashes of their time spent together plague her mind - the way his hands felt on her body, the look in his eyes before he kissed her, the way he tasted. memories like those couldn't simply go away, nor did she really want them to.

"you're just being pathetic now," she said aloud to herself, "and now you're talking to yourself like a crazy person." y/n knew she needed to get out and get her mind off him, which once again, she did think was a little pathetic - it's not like she was going through a break up or anything nearly as painful as she was making it out to be. she shook away her thoughts and pulled out her phone, this time ignoring all of her notifications, and any thoughts of george, and opened a group chat of her closest girlfriends.

is anyone down to come out for drinks tonight?

she hit send on the message and waited, realistically she knew her friends were always raring to come out so their replies wouldn't be anything she didn't already know. more often than not they were the ones to drag y/n out for some fresh air. sure enough after a few minutes most of them had replied with a series of excited agreements.

the evening came around quickly. luckily y/n had already raided her entire wardrobe earlier in the day in a bid to distract herself, so her outfit was ready along with the right shoes to match. she had even gone as far as scouring pinterest for a few makeup looks that would compliment the colours of her outfit.

//

living near the centre of london had both its pros and cons but right now, y/n was just thankful that her walk to the chosen bar was only very short. as she stood in front of the establishment nerves crept up inside her. what even was there to be nervous about? it was just another evening out with her friends, people she had known forever. moreover, she had been to this exact bar several times, hell she could probably even name the regulars at this point. "sorry, excuse me," a low voice came from behind her, causing her to jump to the side. "sorry," she mumbled, glancing at the man who appeared to be carrying far more cocktails than his hands could comfortably allow. the night was getting cooler now and she anticipated her friends were probably waiting for her inside and had been for some time, either that or they were watching the whole ordeal from the window and would laugh at her later. you'll feel better once you get inside, y/n told herself and with that, she turned and walked briskly to the entrance.

her friends were not hard to find, despite not even being drunk yet they managed to be some of the loudest people in the room. y/n smiled at the sounds of their chattering and squeezed through the hoards of people swarming the bar to reach their table and sat down with them. for the first time in a week, she finally felt at ease, like she could fully loosen up with no worries.

//

"can you get me another vodka coke please?" y/n's friend pleaded for the third time, drawing out the 'e'. "god you do whinge," y/n rolled her eyes playfully, "but i will, only if you promise to shut up." the group laughed, a little too hard - at that moment y/n could confirm she was the most sober there. however, it was out of self preservation. she knew in the morning everything would come flooding back to her and she didn't fancy wallowing in her own pity with a headache. the bar was quite empty, y/n thought, especially in comparison to how it had been earlier, but that was definitely because everyone else was too drunk to not be up dancing. she was honestly grateful there was a clear path towards a bartender who didn't appear to be serving anyone.

"hi, could i get a vodka coke please?" she asked the bartender, who she could now see was mopping up a puddle of what was probably various alcohols. "sure, just give me one sec." the bartender smiled and continued soaking the puddle up. "no problem," y/n shot him a warm smile and leant against the bar, watching intently. judging by the sheer volume of liquid she didn't anticipate 'one sec' would be anything remotely close to one second.

"excuse me mate," y/n was ripped from her thoughts by an uncomfortably familiar voice, one that she simultaneously craved hearing and never wanted to hear again. she snapped her head around to the opposite end of the bar, where she spotted him. george was stood, trying to get the attention of another bartender who was busy shelving some bottles. she wasn't sure if this was some kind of sick joke, the one person she was trying to get away from had somehow magically appeared in front of her. if there was a god, she was sure he was punishing her. naturally, her bartender was still busy with the puddle - a puddle that was barely even visible now. why he couldn't leave the droplets for a moment and serve her, y/n didn't understand. she couldn't wait to get away from the bar and he wouldn't be able to conjure the drink up in a split second. to be honest, she wasn't even sure she cared to return to her table with the drink.

y/n couldn't help but steal another glance at george. he was still just as attractive, if not more attractive than she remembered. the way his biceps flexed as he rested his arms on the edge of the bar, his perfect smile as he thanked the bartender for the drink... y/n knew she should tear her eyes away from him but she just couldn't do it. she was weak and not even sorry about it.

her eyes widened as she realised not only was george staring dead at her, he was also drawing closer to her. everything inside her was telling her to run away, run away from this man who didn't even have the decency to reply to her messages, run away from this man who gave her such mixed signals she didn't even know if he loved or hated her. yet her feet seemed unable to budge, the alarm bells ringing in her head were not enough to sway her heart.

"if your mouth opens any wider, you'll dislocate your jaw," george chuckles, placing his drink down at the bar. "that's hilarious," y/n says in the flattest, most sarcastic tone she could manage. "what?" george quirks an eyebrow at her in genuine confusion, standing up and moving closer to her. "i said-" y/n began but abruptly stopped as george placed his hands on her hips and guided her towards the door.

"what are you doing?" y/n swore her heart stopped, how could the same man that had been ghosting her be so comfortable with touching her like that? did he not feel any shame? in a matter of moments, a rush of cold air washed over y/n as george led her out of the threshold of the bar, and it wasn't unpleasant. "the music was too loud, i couldn't hear anything you were saying," he said, walking over to some seating and gesturing for her to join him. y/n followed him and took a seat opposite him but stayed silent, she wasn't sure she wanted to speak to him, nor did she even know what to say.

"what brings you to the bar?" george asks, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness. he genuinely did want to talk to y/n but wasn't sure how or what to say to her, so settling on a generic question like that seemed to be his best bet. "avoiding you actually," y/n almost laughs at the situation, she was also very aware that inside the bar there would be a confused bartender likely with a vodka coke ready for absolutely no one to receive, "but it seems you just appear and disappear as you please." now it was george that stayed silent for a moment, "i deserved that."

"too right, now if you'll excuse me, i have a drink waiting for me inside," y/n stands up to leave, she was not in the mood for this conversation. if george could easily ignore her for days on end then her leaving one conversation for another day would be more than reasonable. "wait y/n-" george stands up quickly and grabs her arm, "can you please hear me out?" genuine hurt could be heard in his voice, for a second y/n thought about just jumping into his arms and telling him she forgave him. that thought was only fleeting though, she decided to retain her dignity and just listen to what he had to say instead. this is for me, not him, she affirmed in her mind before turning back towards him, "fine."

"this might sound really stupid," george starts, "but it's true and i can't believe i am even about to say it." y/n nods hesitantly, she wasn't sure how he could make himself seem any more stupid. "i guess i'm not used to feeling this way, like," he pauses, "properly in love." y/n was dumbfounded, she opened her mouth to speak but no words would dare come out. "i got scared and tried to hide. and in the process hurt you," george looks at her with sad eyes, pleading her to say something. "what you're saying is that you couldn't reply because you love me? like love love me?" y/n could no longer hide her shock, in fact she was beginning to question if this was even actually happening. "i guess so?" george scratches the back of his neck nervously, "look, i'm sorry. i didn't intend to ghost you, i just didn't want to scare you by coming off too strong." he moves closer and tucks a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, "you're the first person i have been fully serious about." silence hung over them, y/n really did think for a second that she was going to pass out.

"i don't know if you are believing me," george sighs, defeated. "please say something." y/n tried to find her words, too much had just happened and she needed a moment to process it. the truth is she did believe him, she knew deep down all along that he was a good guy. "prove it." y/n says with a grin, "prove that you're as serious as you say you are." george raises an eyebrow at her sudden change of tone, "are you sure you can handle it?" a cocky smile forming on his face. "absolutely," y/n giggles, "do your worst."

without wasting another moment, george presses his lips to hers harshly. the kiss was hungry and desperate, like he had waited entirely too long to taste her again and he needed it. his tongue slips into her mouth, savouring every inch of it. this kiss was different, before they had been lustful, open mouthed, sloppy kisses - the kind that happened in the heat of the moment - but this kiss was so slow and so sensual and y/n could feel george pouring so much love into it that she felt it would be impossible to break apart from him.

george pulls away first to catch his breath. "is that enough proof?" he smirks, looking at her with blown out pupils, slightly swollen lips and pink dusting his cheeks. "i'm not sure, i might need a second one to confirm," y/n smiles cheekily, george rolls his eyes but bends down to lightly peck her on the lips. "there is more where that came from by the way," he laughs, "this just isn't the ideal setting."

"hopefully we can do this again sometime," she wiggles her eyebrows at him and laughs, "but we should really get inside, it's freezing," y/n ushers him back towards the entrance, "and i was supposed be back at my table with my friend's drink probably like half an hour ago." george's eyes widened, "oh god. she'll think you died en route or something!" truthfully, y/n was hardly worried about that, she knew her friends could be dramatic when they were drunk but she strongly doubted they were about to file a missing persons report or anything of the sort. "i'll just act naturally don't worry." she grins, "i'm good at that."

"yeah sure, really natural of you to spend an excessive amount of time staring at me from across the bar and then freeze up the second i moved towards you." george returns the grin, "seriously, i could literally feel your eyes boring into my skull."

"so dramatic, i did not stare that hard!" y/n gave him a light slap on the arm, she was in fact completely aware that that was exactly what happened, but she definitely didn't realise she had been that obvious. "whatever you say sweetheart," george opens the door for her and they step inside. y/n glances at the bar, the bartender hadn't made her drink but she hadn't expected him to, after all she had disappeared for a while. "stay right here, i'm going to order the drink again and go back to my friends for a bit." george simply nodded and took a seat at the bar once more, y/n opted to ask the other bartender for the drink this time (the one george had been talking to) - she thought it might be too awkward to ask the original one again.

drink in hand, she made her way back to their table, much more easily than when she first arrived. most people had begun to go outside to cool off so it wasn't nearly as packed in the booths where they were situated. "there you go." y/n pushed the drink towards the girl who had asked for it. "did you get lost on the way?" her friend giggles, slightly slurring her words. i'm sure she had a steady flow of drinks coming her way even without the one i ordered, y/n sighs, how was she going to explain this? it would've been even harder to explain her absence had she spent extra time outside mulling over what excuse to tell them but the lack of forethought also left her in a sticky situation. "you don't need to answer!" another of her friends grins almost evilly, "we can tell exactly what happened." y/n could feel her cheeks heating up, "what do you mean?" she answered, admittedly in a shakier voice than she was hoping for. without another word, the girl thrust her phone up at y/n's face with the camera open. "see?" she folded her arms and sat back in satisfaction.

"oh." y/n found that was the only word she was capable of uttering in that moment. her kiss with george had managed to smear her lip gloss and some of her lipstick around her lips in such a drastic way that it was painfully obvious what they had been doing. "for god's sake!" y/n quickly returned the phone and started in the direction of the bar where george, she assumed, would still be waiting for her.

"you didn't think to tell me about this?!" she hissed, gesturing broadly to her lips. george could only laugh, it had been only dimly lit outside of the bar so he wouldn't have been able to tell and y/n had taken off so abruptly with the drink that he hadn't even had a chance to fit a word in. "at least everyone knows now." george shrugs and gently holding her face and pressing the pad of his thumb over her lips, gently wiping away excess lip gloss (not much could be done about the coloured streaks of lipstick, at least not without a makeup wipe). y/n rolls her eyes, it was impossible to stay mad at him. "so much for twenty four hour ultra long wear lipstick," she grumbles. "shhh, i can't clean it up if you keep talking," george chuckles, giving her lips one final wipe, "there. all done."

"thank you," she smiles brightly, "i won't be buying this lipstick again that's for sure."

"you know," george pauses, "it would really be a shame if someone were to mess it up again,"

"save that for later!" y/n grins, giving him a kiss on the cheek instead before turning to go back to her friends. she could hear george protesting as she walked away, smiling to herself. this time she knew she would absolutely be hearing from him later.

[goldfades]

38. "stay with me, please? i need you tonight. maybe for the rest of my life, if you're generous."

with jamie!

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 | jd⁹

♡ ─ word count | 1.6k

♡ ─ warnings | hurt/comfort, ANGST!! jamie being an asshole (but it was lowkey justified), mention of his injury/trade :((, thats all!

♡ ─ ev's notes | okay listen i forgot the prompt but the last few paragraphs basically describe what the prompt conveys if that makes sense, i still hope u enjoy it nonnie 😭🩷

Jamie had a pretty hard season, with him moving to Philadelphia unexpectedly and him being injured had really gotten to him. He's spent the last two weeks at home recovering and trying to get better as soon as he could, he wanted to be back on the ice as soon as possible. His injury added another layer of frustration. The pain, both physical and emotional, weighed heavily on him. Hockey had always been his sanctuary, and the forced break on top of the trade felt like the whole universe was against him.

You entered the condo, sighing with exhaustion. The last couple months had been frustrating for you as well, but it didn't even come close to how Jamie was feeling. As you entered the small condo, you heard the shower running and assumed it was Jamie.

You put down everything and began starting on dinner, Jamie probably hadn't eaten anything except breakfast. You were worried for him, more than you could ever express. You'd always had faith in him even in the lowest of the lows but he had never been this low in his entire career. He'd always been a determined person but right now, it really did feel like the odds were stacked up against him.

You wanted to do everything in your power to make him happy again, even if it was for a fleeting moment before the world closing on him again. The smell of a home-cooked meal began to fill the air as you moved around the kitchen, chopping vegetables and preparing a comforting dish.

As you worked, your thoughts lingered on Jamie's struggles - the trade, the injury, and the emotional toll it all took on him. You understood the importance of hockey in his life, how it served as a source of purpose. Tonight, you wanted to provide not just a meal but a reminder that he wasn't alone in this struggle, no matter what happens.

As your timer beeped, indicating that dinner was ready, you set the table, adorned with comforting dishes. The shower turned off, and soon Jamie emerged, his weariness evident in his movements. You gave him a warm smile, opening up your arms for a hug.

"I made your favorite,"

He slumped down to your height and embraced you tightly, sighing. You let him hug you before he slipped away from the embrace, and you could feel the tension in his shoulders as he did. The weariness in his pretty eyes spoke volumes, but so did the gratitude for the effort you put into making the evening a little brighter.

"Thank you," Jamie murmured, his voice a mixture of fatigue and appreciation. He walked over to the table and sat down as you brought waters from the fridge before sitting with him.

"How was your day?" You asked gently as you settled into the seat, glancing up to watch him.

"It was fine." He responded shortly as he began eating the food, avoiding your gaze. You knew he didn't want to come off bitter but it stung, you tried your best to not to take it personal. "You?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," you replied with a light chuckle, trying to maintain a casual tone. "Work had its moments, but nothing too exciting. I did manage to catch up with Maya over the phone today, she said she missed us back in California."

You knew you had messed up as you heard Jamie's fork hit the plate, the sound echoing throughout the apartment. Shit, I shouldn't have mentioned California. You looked up and caught his tired gaze as he sighed.

"I'm sorry," you offered softly, regret lacing your words. "I didn't mean to bring up anything that might upset you. It's just habit to share little updates about people we know, you know?"

Jamie took a deep breath, and you could see the effort it took for him to compose himself. "It's okay," he finally replied, though the strain in his voice betrayed the words. "I just... miss the way things used to be."

His vulnerability hung in the air, and you felt a pang of empathy. The unexpected move to Philadelphia had disrupted not only his career but also the familiar life you both had in California. You reached across the table, gently placing your hand over his. "I miss it too, Jamie. But we'll make new memories here. It just takes time."

He sighed and pulled his hand away from yours, your chest squeezing in hurt. He took the fork and continued to eat, choosing to stay silent. You didn't know why he was being so distant, so cold. You hated it but you couldn't resent him for it, you knew it wasn't his fault. That still didn't mean it didn't hurt, though.

The room seemed to shrink with the silence, the only sound was the clinking of cutlery against the plate. The unspoken tension between you and Jamie hung heavy in the air and despite your attempt to offer comfort, he withdrew further into his thoughts. As he continued to eat in silence, you couldn't shake the ache in your chest. The distance, both physical and emotional, left you feeling like a spectator in Jamie's struggle, unable to bridge the gap that seemed to widen with each passing moment.

You had never had this problem with Jamie before, he communicated everything he felt so that it was easier for the both of you so this was new territory. What had changed? Why was he retreating into this new, silent version of himself? The questions lingered, unanswered, amplifying the sense of helplessness.

With a heavy sigh, you set your fork down, the clatter against the plate echoing the unease in the room. "Jamie," you began tentatively, your voice soft but carrying the weight of your concern. "I hate seeing you like this, I just want to help."

Jamie had finally slammed the fork down, looking up at you with agitated playing on his face. "You can't fucking help me, Y/N. Do you get that, is that simple enough for you? I can't breathe around you without you looking at me and trying to analyze it and help me. You look at me like I'm some kind of burden you need to carry, and I'm sick of it."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, the raw emotion behind them stinging more than any physical blow. It was a side of Jamie you hadn't encountered before, and the harshness in his tone took you aback. There was silence as you both stared at each other and you saw the regret slowly seep into Jamie's expression.

You took a moment to collect yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat before finally speaking. "I never meant to make you feel like a burden. I just care about you, and seeing you struggle hurts. I thought we could face it together, like we always have."

He lowered his gaze, a visible conflict playing out in his eyes. The regret painted across his face was palpable, and for a moment, it seemed like he was grappling with the weight of his words. "I know I messed up," Jamie finally admitted, his voice softer now, remorse evident. "It's just... everything feels like too much right now, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, baby."

The pet name rolled off his tongue like honey as he spoke and you could see the old Jamie come back slowly as you gazed at him. You nodded, acknowledging the complexity of the emotions that had fueled his outburst.

"Everything will be easier if you just talk to me, Jamie." You paused, choosing your words carefully. "I want to understand, Jamie. I want to be there for you," you continued, your voice gentle but firm. "We can face whatever it is together. Just talk to me. Please."

He sighed, the conflict in his eyes softening. "I know, Y/N. I just... I'm not used to all of this. The move, the injury, it's like my whole world got turned upside down, and I don't know how to understand it."

You reached across the table, your hand finding his. "We'll figure it out together. You don't have to carry it all on your own. I hate seeing you hurt like this, baby."

He squeezed your hand, the warmth of the gesture was filled with gratitude. "I don't want to push you away, Y/N. I just... I've always been the one who had it all figured out, you know? But this, it's different. It's overwhelming."

"You don't have to have it all figured out, Jamie. We'll navigate through this together. It's okay not to be okay, you don't have to play the part because at the end of the day, you're just human."

He nodded, a mixture of emotions flickering in his eyes. "I'm just scared of losing everything, of losing myself in all of this mess."

The weight of his fears hung in the air, and you leaned in, your thumb gently caressing his hand. "You won't lose yourself, Jamie. I'm here to help you find your way back. We'll take it one step at a time."

For a moment, he hesitated, the weight of vulnerability hanging in the air. Then, slowly, he began to open up. The words spilled out, frustration, fear, and the overwhelming pressure he felt. As he spoke, you listened, offering support.

After the conversation, you laid next to him in the bed, his head laying on your chest. The silence was comfortable as you both began to seep into sleep, enveloped in one another. Your fingers gently traced soothing patterns on his back as you held him close, your presence a reassurance that he wasn't alone ever.

The soft rhythm of his breathing matched the steady beat of your heart, as Jamie shifted slightly, his fingers finding yours in the darkness.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[despairsphantomwrites]

Healed Scars (Part II) - Wanda Maximoff x Stark!Reader

A/N: It's been a thousand close to three years now I think? Two probably? Without writing so please excuse the obviously rusty skills 😭 Apologies as well for any mistranslation, as I'm not particularly fluent in Russian either.

Disclamer: None of the characters on this piece are mine, they belong to Marvel.

Healed Scars (Pt. I)

Part 2 of 2.

A soft knock on the glass doors of the lab snapped you back into reality, glancing up and away from the hundreds of blueprints and notes scattered along the table.

"Something wrong?" You hum, confused as you find Wanda silently staring.

"No, just wondering if you're going to join for movie night."

"Sorry, don't share Steve's passion for classics." Chuckling, you focus back on the notes scribbled almost haphazardly.

"Mind if I stay with you?"

You motioned for her to come inside, and she obliged with a murmured 'thank you', eyes roaming freely around the area.

A pleasant silence had enveloped the room, save from the rustling of papers and the whirring of machines in the background. Every now and then, she could also hear you quietly humming to yourself, pausing only to correct some of the notes before resuming the gentle tune.

She couldn't help but freeze as her gaze landed on a familiar, dreadful sight.

"You can get rid of it if you so wish." You mused, taking notice of her not so subtle glare towards an old picture of the Stark Industries factory. "I'm not sure why dad kept it around, but I doubt he'd care if it suddenly went missing."

Wanda didn't reply, fingers twitching as her hands rested on the table. It would be oh so satisfying, to indulge in your offer and tear the image apart, along with some of the memories that would forever haunt her and her brother.

"…No."

Your eyes snapped up to meet hers, a silent question swirling openly in them, waiting for the brunette to continue.

"It would be like wasting all the effort we put into starting from scratch."

"The self-restraint is truly admirable."

If she had anything else to add, it was soon forgotten as a blur entered the lab, threatening to send the papers flying as it stopped just beside the young witch.

"Sorry."

"No harm done Speedy." Rearranging the notes that had scattered, you look up at him. "What brings you here?"

"I was looking for my dear twin sister, but seems like she found good company already." He teased, ruffling her hair slightly. You couldn't help but chuckle yet again when Wanda smacked his shoulder, blushing from embarrassment.

“вести себя (Behave.)” Wanda muttered, eyes flashing red playfully towards the speedster.

“вы не хотите, чтобы они знали? (You don’t want them to know?)”

“Заткнись (Shut up.)” She mumbled, not missing the smirk on his face. The moment was quite short-lived though as another knock interrupts the scene.

"Suit up kid, last minute mission."

"On it, Cap." You called out to the retreating soldier, reaching out to grab a small device and attaching it to your chest. "See you two around."

It had been close to a full day already.

The mission was a success, giving Tony an excuse (much to everyone's dismay) to throw yet another party.

Wanda glanced around, green eyes dancing along the crowd as she nursed another drink. It felt so foreign to her, abnormal even. She almost missed the relative peacefulness of your lab, silently cursing whoever was currently in charge of the operation for assigning you last minute.

She took a sip, attempting to drown out the barrage of thoughts intruding her mind, gasping as she focused on a new presence.

"Not enjoying the party?"

You barely had time to react before the air got knocked out of your lungs along with a pained groan, feeling her arms snaking around your frame in a bonecrushing hug.

"Looks like someone really missed me."

"Are you alright? Steve said comms were gone for a good while."

"Just a couple bruises, suit's seen better days though."

Wanda nodded absentmindedly, only now noticing the few cuts visible along your hands and face. One of her hands moved to gently caress a bruise forming around your eye.

"Now, what's gotten you into such a sour mood?"

"I just… feel out of place."

"Not one for crowds?"

"Not really, no." She sighed, observing across the room as her twin laughed and mingled with the guests. "Too loud for me."

"Physically or mentally?" You mused, earning a wince from the sokovian girl. "I'll take that as both."

"Can't we just go somewhere else? Please."

You debated the request for a moment, eyes drifting around in search for any familiar faces, finally landing on Natasha. As soon as the russian met your gaze you pointed up, earning a subtle nod from the spy.

"Let's go then, little witch."

As soon as you reached the rooftop, Wanda let out a sigh of relief. She leaned against the railing, allowing the soft breeze to soothe her even further.

"So you do have good ideas every now and then." The brunette quipped, knowing this area would be off-limits.

"I'm starting to believe that I'm a terrible influence on you, Maximoff."

The laugh that fell from her lips left you awestruck. It warmed your heart seeing the amount of progress in such a short time.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Wan-"

"No, I mean it." At your puzzled expression, she continued. "For helping me and Pietro adjust. We weren't exactly welcome at first, and the way we treated you all wasn't ideal either."

You hum in acknowledgement, settling by her side. You couldn't help but wonder if they'd have adapted faster if someone else had stepped up. Someone who wasn't a constant reminder of their past struggles.

"Stop that." Your eyes shift to meet her stern gaze. "You're thinking too loud. You're not-"

"-responsible for what happened, I know. And yet I can't imagine how it must have felt relying on someone whose name was engraved on the very same thing that ruined your life, your childhood."

"Stubborn as your father." The young witch huffed as she tenderly grasped your face, tugging you closer.

Wanda smirked as soon as her lips touched yours, effectively silencing your spiraling mind. The brief contact left you breathless, heart pounding wildly as you stared dumbfounded.

"Stop ripping open already healed scars." She murmured, thumbs gently caressing your skin. "I couldn't have asked for a better person to help us."

"There's people far more approachable than me." The glare you received was downright terrifying, head tilting ever so slightly. "Okay okay, I'm shutting up."

"You're incorrigible. But… I suppose that's part of your charm."

"Suppose?"

"Don't push it, Stark."

************************************

I may or may not have lost the file where I kept all the users from the taglist, so feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to the new one 🙏

[riitah]

[lover's quarrel] - gojo satoru x fem!reader

*sorry, i forgot to tag this: spoilers for jjk 0, but it's only mentioned in like one sentence and it's a very small detail SYNOPSIS: you and gojo got into your first argument as a couple, but you didn't expect him to come forward to apologize first. WORD COUNT: 1.3k HONORABLE MENTION: special thanks to my beta reader “henry rumpelstiltskin III of the nuclear sock kingdom”! :DD AUTHOR'S NOTE: egocentric fictional men who apologize first>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> - (he'd apologize first because I said so) - (he'd also be so embarrassed about it because i said so) - (because y'know. he probably never apologizes first. except this time.) - (holy crap i hope this isn't too ooc like i've never seen him get into an argument with anyone before 😭😭😭)

You. The couch. And the deafening silence.

It wasn't like you and Satoru haven't gotten into arguments before; back in high school, he loved to bother the crap out of you when you were busy doing something that required your full attention, and many of these button-pushing sessions led to full-blown arguments where the two of you hurled insult after insult at each other (though they were more of a one-sided thing, because he just laughed at you and your reddening face, asking if that was all you got). And Shoko and Suguru would watch all the while, one enjoying the entertainment she was getting and the other patiently waiting for a moment where he could calm the both of you down.

But this argument was different. It wasn't some small fight between teenagers that the two of you would forget in a few days. Heck, it might even last a few days instead, now that Suguru wasn't here.

Suguru.

You sighed, remembering that you fought with him, too. Figuratively and literally.

You sunk into the soft seat and leaned your head against the back cushion, letting out a loud groan.

Should I just apologize and get this over with?

After all, knowing your boyfriend, he'd be way too prideful to say sorry first.

Right. Boyfriend. Maybe even soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.

You tightly clutched the hem of your shirt at the thought, your heart feeling heavy. The remnants of the feud buried themselves deep into your chest, pulling and clawing at it as if it was trying to rip something out of there. It hurt knowing that the relationship you were once so happy to establish might not last as long as you thought it would.

Your best friend and your boyfriend; two heartbreaks, two people lost.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back tears. The room gradually grew darker and darker as the sun set in the distance, a painful reminder to you that Satoru had been gone for hours. Pulling your knees to your chest, you rocked back and forth, wondering where he could be this late.

Certainly not at some club, right...?

Your stomach twisted in a way you couldn't explain, and you let out a choked sob.

He can't be. He's not like that.

But Satoru had never been romantically involved with anyone before you. So how did you know what to expect?

You felt your fingernails digging into your skin, hard enough to make it bleed. You hated the way the scenarios were running through your head, the way none of them were him coming home to you without smelling of sickly sweet perfume and without having lipstick stains all over his neck. It was truly a different kind of pain knowing that someone who had declared his love for you merely six hours before could take it all back in an instant.

This is all so, so stupid. Maybe this was a mistake from the start.

Grabbing your coat that was lying right next to you, you stood up to leave.

Maybe a break would serve the both of us some good.

You put it on, not bothering to zip up the front.

I never should've said yes.

You walked towards the door, your footsteps soft, hesitant, and gradually slowing down to a stop when you arrived. You reached for the doorknob, still unsure of your decision. Your hand hovered in midair as you looked down at your feet, warm tears still streaking down your cheeks.

Is this really the right thing to do?

You couldn't think straight, or pinpoint what exactly you felt. Anger? Worry? Dread? The different emotions were all mixed into one, forced down your throat and into the pit of your stomach, with the sole purpose of breaking you from inside out.

You didn't want to think about anything anymore.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath before wrapping your hand around the doorknob, and--

The door flew backwards, striking against your palm. Your eyes opened in surprise, darting from the doorknob to the tall man that stood in front of you.

Neither of you said a word.

You were rooted to the spot, your legs frozen. Beads of sweat rolled down your back, tickling you, futilely trying to distract you from the situation at hand. Your hands felt clammy, your breath was stuck uncomfortably in your throat, and a single tear awkwardly slid its way down the side of your face, seemingly not getting the memo.

Satoru stared back at you, his sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, slightly crooked. His blue eyes blinked at you, with a hint of confusion behind them. He was also slightly panting, you realized as you saw his shoulders slightly heave up and down from the corner of your eye.

"...(Y/N)?" His voice was gentle, void of any anger, unlike the tone he had used with you just hours before.

You didn't reply in fear of breaking down in front of him, in fear of coming off as some kind of victim when the fault was yours as much as it was his.

"What are you... Were you leaving? Were you crying?"

He sounded so confused, so worried. He touched your wet cheek, brushing against it with his calloused hand.

"Toru, where were you?" Your voice was barely audible.

One second passed. And then two.

Please tell me that you didn't give up on us.

And then three. And four.

The silence dragged on. And your hope dwindled along with it.

"Toru, I..." you said hoarsely.

Your heart dropped when you finally smelled the faint trace of perfume. The very same sickly-sweet smell you had been afraid of.

It can't be.

Can it?

"Were you...kissing some other girl?" Your voice cracked a little.

"What?! No!" His eyes widened as he frantically shook his head, and then he exhaled and furrowed his brows. "Was that why you were crying?"

You nodded meekly, feeling as though you were about to cry all over again. "I thought you'd want to break up with me."

"I'd never." You felt his lips press against your forehead, the warmth still lingering even after he pulled away. "And..." He dropped his hand to his side and glanced away, preoccupied with something on the floor, his voice quiet, sincere. "I'm...sorry."

Now it was your turn to widen your eyes. Did he just...apologize?

He peeked at you, and then grinned when he saw your expression. "Dumbfounded, aren't you? You should be honored to be the first and only person I've ever apologized t--mmph!"

All of the sadness seemed to have evaporated from your body as you grabbed his face with one hand, bringing it close. "Do that again."

He squinted at you. "I got you flowers," he suggested, squirming in your grasp. "And perfume too, so if you smell that on me, that's probably from the shop." A pause, waiting for you to let go. "And chocolate." Another pause, a smirk forming on his face. "Sexy lingeri--?"

You gave him a deadpan stare before he could finish.

"Kidding, kidding! Obviously." He laughed, the sound filling your stomach with butterflies. "So does that mean you forgive me?"

You sighed, nodding, letting go of him. "I'm really sorry, too. It was a stupid thing to argue over."

"Well, that marks the end of our first lover's quarrel!" He readjusted his glasses and smiled at you before bringing his left hand out from behind his back. "Good thing, because my arm was about to start cramping--"

You didn't register the rest of his words as he showed off the items he bought for you, your mind still trying to process what had just happened.

Toru knows how to apologize...

Surprised? Happy? Maybe giddy? Or all three?

You let a giggle slip, and he turned to you, the bouquet of flowers in his hands raised like a trophy.

"What're you laughing at?"

"Nothing."

You pulled in by the collar for a taste of his soft lips, whispering against them a quiet "I love you."

[mercuriians]

can't remember to forget you

content warning — some profanity, mentions of alcohol, references to terminal illness. reader’s last name is mentioned once for plot purposes later on.

author’s note — HI YALL 🥴 this is totally unedited & i wrote this at 12am. i just wanted to get this out as quickly as possible so bare with me. as a fair warning there is a LOT to unpack with the reader’s backstory, and to be honest 90% of this fic is literally just you brooding over kenji LMAO 😭. this is basically just an experiment so if u guys like this plz let me know so i can write a follow up!!

you really have no idea as to how such an important piece of information slipped your mind. two of japan's most recent superstar athletes were returning home at the exact same time. it would've brought a smile to your face in any other situation. if only those two athletes hadn't been you and him. kenji.

it's been years since you two have spoken. well, those years were spent productively, with both of you dedicating much-needed time towards your respective sports. he rocked the baseball field. you shone on the basketball court. but at the end of the day, behind all the sweat and arena lights and post-game interviews, there was a sharp pain that remained unresolved at the back of your mind. the last memory you have of kenji is still freshly imprinted. you had been at his house, and having recently heard the devastating news of your mother being terribly ill, you had come to him seeking comfort. little did you know that he was hurting too, with another fight having just happened between him and his father.

there was so much going on at the time, so much to worry about and so much pain in general, that all the pent-up feelings between you two had burst within one crucial moment. he kissed you, and you kissed back. clothes came off. you ended up in his bed. for a while it had felt like heaven because yes, it distracted you from the worry that consumed you from the inside out, but it had also made your most secretive wishes come to fruition.

until that moment, only you had known how deeply and utterly in love you were with kenji, and how strongly those feelings had grown since you two were fourteen.

there was nothing else that could have made you happier. even now, you remember the feeling of his strong arms around you, the feeling of his mouth against yours. the way your name rolled off his tongue so smoothly, so adoringly, as he whispered it into your ear. the way he hugged you so firmly after you two made love, as if he was afraid that you would disappear.

but then you also remember how something in him changed only a few seconds later. how the atmosphere grew dark the moment he pushed you off and told you to leave without even looking you in the eye. there's a part of you that wants to think kenji didn't mean to hurt you the way he did. it's the more naive, more hopeful part of yourself, spinning stories of how he actually didn't want you to leave, and he just said it because he didn't know how to cope with his own feelings. ultimately, it's all wishful thinking, borne out of a desire to believe that he maybe did really love you.

kenji broke your heart that night, and right now, even as you board the plane headed to tokyo, even as you put on a smile and sign an autograph for a starstruck fan, you admit that not a single thing has changed. you're still holding onto the past, and you hate yourself for it. especially when you realize that kenji probably moved on a long time ago.

"you alright?" your agent, himari, asks when you two sit down. she's one of the sweetest people ever, and you really don't want to lie to her because of the guilt that you know you'll feel. you meet her hazel eyes. you open your mouth to respond.

"yeah, i'm fine," you smile.

damn it.

as the plane takes off, you do your best to remove kenji from your mind, if only for a little while. perhaps inevitably, you start thinking about the very reason you've decided to finally come home. exactly two nights ago, there was a dream you had while you were sleeping. it was vivid in its entirety, and there was fire and people screaming and something very, very big in the distance, in front of what seemed like a sports arena. conveniently enough, there was some sort of fog surrounding the mysterious figure, but you didn't need to see it to know what it actually was. a kaiju.

you remember the words your mother told you before she passed away. it was an extremely painful memory, and really there was nothing in the world that could have encapsulated how helpless you felt when you saw her frail figure. she used to be so strong, so lively with everything she did and said. it took you a while to recognize the woman that laid in the hospital bed. however even with the tears that had stung your vision at the time, you heard the very last traces of her resolve within the very last words she said to you.

"when you're old enough, i want you to start what i couldn't. . to protect the world with the gift i'll give you. please. . just remember that i love you, and that it's worth giving things a second chance."

as you stare out of the plane window, watching the world pass by below you, the clouds mix together and blur into a white haze. a moment later, you realize that tears are threatening to fall from your eyes. you wipe them away with your sleeve before they have the chance to. i'll do my best, mom, you think, hoping that somehow she can hear you. i don't know where or how i'll start, but i will.

there's a lot of things waiting for you in japan, and you're not entirely sure if you're ready. but at the end of the day, it's your home, and you know deep within your heart that you'll do anything to protect it. sliding your sunglasses onto your face, you close your eyes and try to get some rest before the plane lands.

around twelve hours later, tokyo is there to greet you in all its glory. it's night time, but the way the city lights contrast so beautifully against the sky's inky blue-black canvas is more than enough to bring a smile to your face. "we're home, himari," you say to the woman next to you.

"we are, indeed," she breathes out.

“man, not even los angeles can compete against this,” you chuckle lightly. your words carry quite a lot of weight to them, especially considering how you were completely and utterly starstruck for the first couple of weeks you were in california. there’s a reason so many movies were filmed there. yet, tokyo remains on another level, still reigning as the undefeated champion.

fine. maybe you’re a little biased.

however, your smile fades away when you realize that the probability of seeing him—kenji—is at an all time high. chances are, he’s already here. waiting for you.

stop that.

you shrug off the thought, reminding yourself that he had probably moved on years ago. there was no use in entertaining an idea that had been burnt out for a long time. the only person that would end up being hurt would be yourself—and speaking from experience, emotional distress was a lot different than physical. physical pain you could handle. as a basketball star, you were pretty accustomed to them by now. ankle sprains, muscle cramps, even that torn acl from a year ago, which had hurt like an absolute bitch.

emotional pain was entirely different territory. and it was territory that you were not willing to cross. not again.

god, you were such a mess. maybe indulging in a momentary distraction wouldn’t hurt.

“hey, himari, you wanna know what i’m cravin’ right now?” you ask, a false smile creeping onto your face. the woman in question gives you a wary look, brows slightly scrunched together as if she already knows what you’re going to say.

“a good night’s rest before your interview tomorrow?” she asks flatly.

you shake your head. “alcohol. lots of it.”

“ms. matsuda, i don’t think that’s a smart decision—”

waving her off, you protest, “just for tonight, i promise. we’re back home and i wanna celebrate. and how many times have i told you to call me by my first name?”

himari stares at you for a few moments before lowering her head and heaving a sigh. “fine. . [name]. please take care of yourself out there. and be prepared—i’m sure quite a lot of people will recognize you when you walk into the bar.”

you smile in triumph, holding up your sunglasses. “i’ve got that covered. sure, having these on at night are a little weird, but i’ll just pass it off as the new trend.”

your agent gives you another slightly concerned look before bidding you a good night. and with that, you start walking to the nearest bar. it’s small, inconspicuous, and lit up with only one neon sign. all good indicators that there’s probably not a lot of people in there. you walk in, head held high, without any trouble. your footsteps are light and unhurried against the wooden floor as your eyes quickly scan the environment—eleven or twelve people, give or take, two bartenders, a potted plant over by the corner. and a vacant stool at the far end. perfect.

sliding into the seat, you drum your fingers on the freshly cleaned counter as you decide on what to order. “the denki bran looks good, think i’ll get that,” you mutter to yourself.

you feel someone take the stool next to you, but you don’t pay it much mind. at least until they reply to your words. “yeah, it is good. pretty bold choice, though.”

your mouth drops open.

you hear the person next to you snicker quietly.

the snail-esque speed at which you turn your head would have been comical if it had been any other situation. however, it’s anything but funny when your heart jumps into your throat, when your eyes widen with pure and unadulterated shock as they meet those of familiar gunmetal gray bordering on black.

kenji gives you a sharp grin that’s only a little bit sheepish. “nice to see you again, ace.”

[rekino2114]

Omg the recent episode for despair time😭😭😭 not to mention the ending with Teruko. We totally need Teruko with a boyfriend who's just always there for and reassuring her that he loves her and will never leave her no matter what.

You saving teruko from her execution

A/n:I know this isn't exactly what you asked for, but come on, this was too good of a fic opportunity to pass up. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted but I hope you still like it

Yes, this is the second drdt post in a row, but writing is my coping mechanism, and with how much trauma chapter 2 gave me You're probably gonna see more fics about it

The second trial had finally ended. After hours of discussion, you had finally figured out that ace was the culprit, the one who killed arei, and so you voted for him accordingly. You wanted nothing more than to go back to your room and hug teruko after all of this,You both were gonna need comfort after seeing another person......you just didn't know how much-needed it truly would have been.

While it was sudden at first you had no problems with teruko's plan and were actually pretty excited for it, any hope of getting you two out of this hell, no matter how small, was a good one for you and you were going to follow it.

It all started relatively well, ace managed to punch monotv, and the robot seemingly shut down before rebooting. That wasn't what shocked you,You knew there was a very high chance that it wouldn't work, but what really surprised and scared you was what he said after that

Since Ace was already going to be executed, the host decided to pass down his punishment to the one who had the idea to hurt him........teruko

"To conclude, I will now proceed with the execution of teruko tawaki"

The moment you heard those words, you froze, and when the gun came out of the floor, you could do nothing but stare at it.

Monotv started counting down and teruko......stood there, she didn't do anything she didn't even try to run or save herself even with all of you screaming at her

"What's the point I should have known this would happen, even if I shield myself behind others,even if I search for an escape, it always comes down to this, I need to face the consequences of my actions there's no escaping that"

"What are you talking about? You're going to be killed!"

"Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me. I won't die even if monotv puts 100 bullets in my body. I'll only be badly injured, possibly lose a body part. Maybe I'll even end up in a coma for months, but I won't die, I never will. There's nothing I can do but accept my fate. It's what I deserve after all"

"Teruko! run! please!"

"Don't worry everyone. I'll show you what it means to be the ultimate lucky student"

"Zero"

The gun fired, and blood covered everything, even teruko's clothes.......your blood

"Y-y/n! What happened?"

"I-i tried to get in front of the gun but he beat me to it"

Teruko stood silent, watching your body fall in front of her. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Right now, she was supposed to be writhing in pain, almost passing out but not to the point where she couldn't feel the terrible pain, but somehow, seeing you bleeding out on the ground knowing it was her fault felt even more painful than every accident she'd ever been in

Her luck killed you

She killed you

"Ahahahahahaha of course, of fucking course"

"T-teruko?"

"I should have known this would happen, of course. It would have been too kind to even make me suffer that much. You just had to kill the only person I love"

Not even teruko herself knew who she was talking to, maybe her luck, maybe monotv, maybe whatever fate was responsible for her existence of pure suffering. She was just completely breaking down without you

"Don't worry I shut off the gun as soon as I detected that y/n was in the way, his injuries are not fatal"

"Not fatal? Is he alive?"

"He's barely breathing, he's not going to be alive for much longer-"

".............he's......still alive?"

".......Yes, he could live theoretically but only if he gets immediate treatment"

Teruko didn't know what to think. On one hand, this was probably another layer of her suffering, giving her the hope that you would live just to crush her completely when that hope was revealed to be false but on the other hand, what would she say to you if she didn't follow that hope? If she just gave up right here without even trying. She loved you more than anything, even more than herself. If you were going to die, then she at least had to try and save you.

"Get him to the infirmary now!"

Everyone was surprised by teruko's authoritative tone, but carried your body to the elevator

"Monotv open the door"

"I'm sorry, but the participants can only leave the trial grounds once the class trial is complete, that includes the death of the blackened"

As everyone argued about what to do, teruko's cold voice made them all silent

".........ace"

"NO FUCK NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY"

"If you're so scared of being executed. Then I can solve that problem for you"

Teruko pulled her knife out of her pocket and pointed it at him with an unhinged expression on her face

"I don't think it matters if you get executed or not.......you just have to die right?"

"t-teruko you can't mean"

"Don't do it!"

"It's your choice, I'll make it quick. That's my objective after all

"......Y-YOU'RE INSANE.....YOU THINK HIS LIFE IS WORTH MORE THAN MINE!?"

"........yes"

"......!"

"Teruko? What are you saying? Why are you doing this?"

"Because.............I CAN'T LOSE Y/N"

Her yelling caught everyone off guard but they were too scared to say anything to her

"that would mean I once again caused the death of another person I loved......I-I can't deal with that again......especially since it's y/n"

"........."

"Ace, you're about to die anyway, If you really want to make things right, if you really want to at least be able to face arei in the afterlife, then die to let another person live"

"..........You're so selfish"

".............."

"But I guess I was too wasn't I?"

"A-ace"

"I'm so scared.....I'm so fucking scared I might start crying right now, bit if I really have to die.....I GUESS I'LL GO OUT DOING SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE IN MY GODDAMN LIFE!"

Ace got executed, and the elevator door opened as a result, Levi carried your body to it while everyone else followed him....except teruko

"T-teruko, what are you doing? Come here!"

".......no I'm staying here"

"W-what?"

"Wait before you leave though, I need to say something......Arturo If you dare let y/n die, then I'll kill you myself"

"!"

"That's a promise"

Teruko's words sent a shiver down the plastic surgeon's spine, but soon the door closed, and she was left alone with monotv, she talked with him for a while before he shut off the lights and left her truly alone, that was when she cried.....in the dark,alone. teruko almost never cried, even you had never really seen her do that, she told herself that she went trough too much suffering and despair to cry over it, she needed to be strong to face whatever tragedy her luck would bring her and to protect you from all of them but today she failed.

No matter the result, nothing would be the same. If you died, then teruko would keep her promise and be executed as a result, but even then, she most likely would not have seen you again, the execution would have somehow failed and left her in a state of complete suffering and despair, she would wish for death to see you again but she would have never gotten that luxury

And if you would survive, then you would surely hate her. She was the reason why you almost died after all, that would make you realize that being with her would just lead to you dying or being close to death and you would break up with her, she really couldn't blame you, in fact the worst part about this was she couldn't blame anything, she couldn't blame her luck, she couldn't blame fate, she could only blame herself.

When she got back to the living quarters, the first thing she did was ask Arturo about your condition. She was relieved that you had survived, but only because she didn't want to dirty her clothes in blood twice the same day. She vowed to stay with you until the moment you woke up, both because she didn't want anyone to try and kill you when you were vulnerable and because she wanted to be the first one to see you open your eyes.

She barely ate and always stood in a chair next to the bed in the infirmary, she talked to basically only eden and Charles as those were the only ones who weren't scared that she'd randomly try to stab them because of grief, she even slept there still holding your hand desperately wishing it would wrap around her own.

And one day it did

"Y-y/n, you're awake! Are you ok? Do I need to call Arturo?"

"N-no I'm fine, I think, It still kinda hurts but I'm fine now"

"Ok, I'm glad"

Silence followed. You were still getting used to being conscious again, and teruko didn't know how to start the conversation

"........why did you get in front of me?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you save me? I told you I wasn't going to die"

".........cause I can't bear to see you suffer anymore"

"W-what?"

"Every time you're in pain, it hurts me to see you like that, after everything you've been through in your life, you deserve to be happy teru, I know that I sound selfish saying this but your happiness is the most important thing in the world to me......even more than my life"

"...........do you think you seeing you dead will make me happy?"

"U-uh?"

"Sorry if I'm aggressive but.....You're wrong, the most pain someone could give me is taking you away from me. You're literally the only thing I have left, my family, my friends, they all left me, you're the only person I love that is still with me.......why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you still with me? If you stay, then you'll probably end the same as every other person I loved. Today was an example of that. It's better that you leave me, for your own safety, I hate seeing you hurt, so please leave me"

"...........teruko, I'll never leave you"

"....w-why? You'll get killed if you do, i-my luck will kill you"

"........because I love you"

"......."

"What you said before, about the worst pain that you could even feel is me being taken away from you, that's exactly how I feel towards you"

"......you really do?"

"Of course teru, I love you so so so much, don't I always tell you"

"But I'm-"

"No, teruko, stop it. Stop blaming yourself, I will never leave you. That's a promise , no matter whatever your luck throws at me, I promise I will always find a way to come back, because I love you, and my love is stronger than whatever your luck is"

Teruko cried once again, no matter how much she tried to keep her tears in she couldn't stop it

"I.....I......I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For everything, for dragging you into my life, hell the reason why you're in this killing game is probably because of me"

"Teru-"

"But if even knowing that,you still love me, if even despite everything you still want to be with me, then I promise I will protect you"

"........"

"My luck.....it's always been a curse, ripping the people I loved from me and always leaving me in pure despair but now, now that I have someone who knowing that still wants to love me, I will not let it take you no matter what"

"........thank you teruko"

She wiped her tears with her wrist and looked back at you

"No, thank you for being in my life"

Teruko stood up from the chair

"I'm going to tell Arturo you woke up and get you some water ok?"

"Yeah thanks"

She started walking away, but turned to look at you one more time, this time with a smile on her face

"......I love you too, you have no idea how much"

[silleegob]

HxH - Dodgeball Scene

Note: This isn't really an analysis but more of a rant, hence it being messy, haha .. (^^ ;) Everything is based on my own opinion too, so I don't guarantee it would satisfy everyone. But anyway, enjoy ur read! :3

(Chapter 166, episode 70.)

If someone asks me which HxH scene is the most misunderstood one, I would say it's this:

I've seen almost EVERYONE in this fandom say that this scene was very "selfish" and "insensitive" of Gon. But dude, c'mon. Do you really think Gon wouldn't give a flying fuck about Killua getting hurt just for his own benefit? He isn't that type of friend. In fact, he literally hates it when Killua willingly hurts himself, like he gets so mad and bothered.

Take this scene for example:

But what piqued my interest was how he still kept this moment in mind after a bunch of chapters later:

It shows how he still didn't forget about that situation, and thought about this self-destructive trait of Killua carefully. Pretty ironic for getting mad at Killua for being like this when Gon himself is also self-destructive, haha. It's like it's indicating that Gon knows how it feels like being self-destructive, so he's trying to stop Killua from feeling that aswell. Keep that in mind though, I'll be talking about it later on. :3

In the mean time, I think it's important to look carefully on to details even if it's tiny. I noticed a few things about this panel too:

Only Gon is drawn with a 💢, and he's also doing a ❌️ finger sign (it's so funny.) I get it probably doesn't have any deeper meaning but the fact that it's like that shows how much he dislikes it if u ask me. 😭😭 I mean, bisky just looks disappointed, not mad. Why not add a 💢 on her too? That's 'cause she's not THAT bothered by it, and it's implying the difference of how they take this trait. And well, Gon takes it SERIOUSLY. So point is, he's not insensitive when it comes to Killua intentionally hurting himself as we see him clearly despising it.

Anyway, remember how I told u to keep that one thing in mind? Yeah, Gon knowing how it feels like being self-destructive and all. We all know that the reason he does this is because he feels weak, and so he has this need to prove himself strong and useful to feel better, right? Well.. I feel like as time goes by, Gon thinks that Killua is also doing this because of the same reason. He notices how far Killua goes just to prove himself worthy too. So when he voluntarily decides to take painful hits in the dodgeball game, Gon encourages it instead. He knows how it feels to be seen as weak, not useful, and not needed. Taking risks for something, but people don't encourage that. They just tell you to stop, not knowing that it would just make you feel even more useless, making you feel like you did all of that for nothing because it was never enough. Gon is aware of that, so he does the opposite to Killua. Don't you guys get it? If he told Killua to just stop, Killua would feel unworthy and not good enough. He's going out of his way to help Gon, he free-willingly decides to take those hits. If Gon told him to stop, it would feel like rejection–that Gon didn't appreciate all that effort, and is techincally telling Killua that his help meant nothing. You can see how Killua was so desperate, he was so pushy with the "I can take one more hit!!! Gon, let me do it!!" and now imagine if Gon said no💀 That would be rejecting his help/an act out of love (platonic or romantic idc.) THAT would be the one that's ACTUALLY insensitive to Killua.

So Gon shows appreciation and encouragement instead, letting Killua's effort not be in vain. Saying stuff like how he NEEDS Killua to be the one that holds the ball for him, how he can't focus if it's not Killua–he needs Killua's help and Killua himself. All of that, is definitely what Killua needed to know too. It literally made him smile and felt more upbeat after, how could people say it was insensitive and would hurt Killua's feelings? 😭 He's happy to know that Gon does care about his efforts for him after all. ᵔᴗᵔ ♡

One thing I'd like to say though is that; That was still unhealthy for both of them. They think self-destructing is the only way they'll feel loved. 🙁 Of course I agree that it was most definitely bad, and it's not a good thing that Gon just fueled up Killua's self-destructive tendencies even more..😭🙏 BUT the point here is that, it wasn't insensitive and selfish of Gon in that moment, okay!?!? They both saw it in a positive light, even though.. it was definitely bad... but uhm anyways yeah, everyone should stop being so upset with this scene. You all are misunderstanding it and it's painful. 😔

But hooray thanks for listening!

[the-mandawhor1an]

Din and Maia's first anniversary! 🥳🥳

TLDR: Roleplay anniversary; Wolke being sappy; One shot/drabble in the end

Today marks the actual anniversary of @zaddymandalorian and I's Mando roleplay. I know I made a post 6 months ago but I feel like I should celebrate this actual milestone even more than the 6 months!

Also, yesterday was the 2,5 year anniversary of the 'Maia Prime' fanfic 👀

A whole year, it feels unreal, especially considering what our mousies have been through in this year 🥹 Family reunions, so many tears, both of joy and pain. Maia cries a lot anyway, we all know that. So many revelations (that are spoilers to the current state of the fic so I'm holding my breath)

What I can do however, because it's spoiler free, is give you a few statistics about the roleplay. For the number sluts.

Story-wise we're just now reaching the plot of BOBF, which means a lot of reunions are happening right now.

Sounds like we're slow, right?

WRONG

We're just yappers and live for filler content that sheds more light on their relationship and Maia's past rather than strictly following the canon plot.

We're now over THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS in, which, to put it into perspective, means, we've now written more than The Two Towers and The Return of the King COMBINED.

We're 1210 posts in, on average about 300 words per post

This means we average on 3.3 posts per day

(In the beginning we were at 9 per day)

but then again, back then we only had this one rp which isn't the case any more

Zaddy, I love you so much you have no idea 😭 As much as Maia loves her Di'kut, as much as Peachy kind of loves Grumpy (even if she refuses to acknowledge it right now) and as much as Aurelia will love Acacius. It feels kind of unreal that we've been friends for over 8 years now.

Another commission by @kenobiwanx is in the works, I can't wait to see what magic Gio will work this time around. It's Maia and Din but with a little twist.

What a year it has been in general. My Tumblr-versary is also coming up in a few weeks, and I have to say I'm so glad I ended up on here. There's so many people that I wouldn't have met otherwise. People I consider friends 🥹

@rivnedell @evolnoomym @guiltyasdave @djarins-cyare @djarins-wife

@immarocketman @roughdaysandart @penvisions @clawdee @notjustjavierpena

@jksprincess10 @toomanystoriessolittletime

(and probably a lot of people I'm forgetting right now)

And now, because I can't not sprinkle another fic in here, we're making Maia Prime have her little moment. I talked about her on Maia Monday, she is the first version of the character. The RP and also the Fic version of her (and Din, if we're being very particular) differ character-wise. You'll see what I mean.

Also, the narration is a little different, I was young and dumb okay.

So now, we're looking into how Maia Prime and Din Prime met.... (MDNI, blood and injury mentioned)

Anyone else would have left the planet by now. The bounty hunters became more thorough in their searches … and me? I was simply too stubborn to leave for a safer hiding spot. He would return, I was certain of it. If he didn't do it on his own volition, they would bait him, lead him back here. Ever since he escaped with the child, the Imperials had doubled their head count. This forced me to avoid the city center, stay in the outskirts where I was alone. Safe. 

Only rarely, as today was such an occasion, I went further inside the city. Information about the fight and the Mandalorian was sparse, but not enough to evade my curious ears. 

The presence of the Empire made me uneasy, but my task was greater than a little discomfort. 

Or great discomfort, as it would turn out. 

At this point my purpose was not clear, but I assumed it had to do with that little green thing. There was an undeniable connection I felt with this child, perhaps that also explained why I had found this Mandalorian all these years ago. He would lead me to my purpose.

The fight that had broken out last time the bounty hunter visited must've been because of the child. That had to mean it was somewhat valuable to the Empire. Perhaps it was a child of the force, like me. Of course the Empire would be interested in that. They could train and shape us according to their wishes, given they found us early enough. 

My fate mustn’t repeat. I knew I had to help them.

At the break of day Karga had left the city with two of his men, according to my slightly uncooperative source of information. Nothing a little convincing couldn't fix. 

Something was about to happen today. Maybe tomorrow. More and more Imps assembled in the city, positioning themselves in every nook they could conquer. Everything smelled of a trap and this meant danger for me as well. I should have left Nevarro behind a while ago; my stubbornness and curiosity getting the better of me, I stayed. And stayed. And hoped my persistence meant I would finally find the courage to cross paths with him properly. 

Troopers were scattered all across, causing me to transverse the city via the rooftops, sneaking past their watchful eyes. 

This setup meant trouble, but not for me if I played my cards right. I hid on a roof near the square in the city center, ducking behind a wall to get a more secure look at the scenery beneath me. The tension in the air was palpable, my heart pounded similarly to when the Mandalorians had ambushed the guild and I had stupidly made my presence known. But right now, no one cared to look for me. The guild knew someone was in the city. Who I was didn’t matter to them. 

Karga returned around mid-day. I watched his every move as he led the shackled Mandalorian into the bar that functioned as the guild’s headquarter. An unfamiliar woman followed them inside, as did a hovering capsule. At first I assumed the child to be in there, but I didn’t sense it in there. Maybe the capsule was insulated in some way. 

What was going on here? 

I could not see nor hear what happened in the building, but I had a perfect view of what was happening on the square in the front. Troopers gathered and took position, waiting for an order, perhaps. I just assumed inside they were making some kind of deal, perhaps the Mandalorian was dropped off for a bounty. He probably had quite the amount of credits on his head. Judging by his skills I had observed last time, however, I expected him to have a few tricks up his sleeve. A man like him wouldn’t not put up a fight. 

Not knowing what was going on inside caused a little ache to blossom in my head. I couldn’t just barge in there without knowing what I would run into. Ultimately, I could ruin a perfectly curated plan with my presence, or my interruption. As fate would decide, I didn’t have to think about this any further. The Troopers outside covered the building with blaster fire, destroying the windows, the transparisteel shattering into a million pieces. From every alley more approached, an ambush, just as I had suspected. 

The impact of this trap would soon reveal itself as a TIE-Fighter drew closer and landed on the small square. Dust kicked up as the fighter touched ground, a small cloud forming. Someone exited the vehicle. Someone I would never have expected. 

Moff Gideon appeared, his black high-gloss armor reflected as it had just been polished before this very appearance. I never understood what the Empire found in black high-reflective surfaces. It was so impractical and quite frankly, looked odd in most settings. 

This surprise guest made me wonder.

What interest could Gideon have in a Mandalorian, more specifically in this Mandalorian? 

My educated guess was the child. My intuition must’ve been right about it. »You have something I want.« His voice was so loud, I could hear him perfectly fine even from my somewhat elevated hideout. »In a few moments it will be mine.« It? Did he actually talk about the child?

Silence fell over the square, a deafening, choking silence that reminded me a lot of my room in the facility. The only sound that was heard at this moment were some noises that echoed from inside the bar. A handful of Troopers began setting up an E-Web turret. This could only end badly. The commotion inside got louder, blaster shots hitting metal. »Your astute panic suggests that you understand your situation. I would prefer to avoid any further violence, and encourage a moment of consideration,« Gideon calmly explained, eyeing his men setting up the turret. When it was finished and loading, he continued. »Members of my escort have completed assembly of an E-Web heavy repeating blaster. If you are unfamiliar with this weapon, I am sure that Republican Shock Trooper Carasynthia Dune of Alderaan will advise you that she has witnessed many of her ranks vaporize mid-descent facing the predecessor of this particular model.« A Republican soldier? »Or perhaps the decommissioned Mandalorian hunter, Din Djarin, has heard the songs of the Siege of Mandalore, when gunships outfitted with similar ordnance laid waste to fields of Mandalorian recruits in The Night of a Thousand Tears.« My heart stopped for a beat. Din Djarin. That was his name. »I advise disgraced Magistrate Greef Karga to search the wisdom of his years and urge you to lay down your arms and come outside. The structure you are trapped in will be razed in short order and your storied lives will come to an unceremonious end.« 

The voices from inside the hideout were too far away and pointed in the wrong direction for me to understand anything, but judging by Gideon’s responses, I could probably reconstruct what they were asking. »Reasonable negotiation.« Okay, so they wanted to make a deal. »If you're asking if you can trust me, you cannot. Just as you betrayed our business arrangement, I would gladly break any promise and watch you die at my hand. I will act in my own self-interest, which at this time involves your cooperation and benefit.« Gideon waited for a moment, until he turned in one swift motion. »I will give you until nightfall, and then I will have the E-Web cannon open fire.« He retreated from the E-Web, but didn’t leave the scene entirely. 

Someone of his caliber might know who I was and that meant trouble. If he recognized me, maybe his plan would change to instead capture me. 

I should have left while I still could. But I didn't, I never did.

From the outskirts of the city the roar of a speeder moved towards us, the sound of blaster fire following suit shortly thereafter. A droid approached the city from the desert. Slowly I felt the presence of the child, growing stronger with every meter the droid got nearer. Did it have the child? The troops on the square were distracted by the commotion and turned to face the stranger. 

Suddenly, Karga and Mando ambushed the Stormtroopers, spilling out of the bar door and opening fire instantly. I found myself watching the Mandalorian for a moment, taking down a Trooper in close combat, completely hypnotized by the sight. He made it look so easy. My eyes only moved from him when I heard the droid drop to its knees. 

The Mandalorian noticed at the same time and ripped the E-Web from its mount and sprayed blaster fire into the Imperials. The Rebel Shock Trooper joined the shootout. Finally I regained control over my body and moved across more rooftops to avoid getting hit in the crossfire. I wasn’t sure a saber could block that kind of projectile and I was not trying to find out the hard way. 

Gideon drew in closer to the commotion again, shooting at the Beskar helmet to grab the Mandalorian’s attention. Mando was about to whip around with the E-Web still in his hands, when Gideon fired a round into the transformer and the whole turret blew up. 

»No!« escaped my lips before I could stop it when I watched the Beskar armor fly through the air, only to make hard contact with a wall. Djarin slumped over, clearly unconscious, likely concussed, possibly dead. My scream didn’t go unnoticed, as Gideon turned my way while I watched Karga and the woman pull the completely limp body back into the bar. It was terrible to see. 

»Well, well, who do we have here?« he greeted me with a sly grin. I jumped down the roof, saber in my hand, ready to use it. »Leave the Mandalorian and child alone, Gideon,« I said rather than answering his question. As it would turn out, I didn’t have to introduce myself anyway. »Looks like I’ve found a runaway experiment. Are you ready to come home, sweetheart?« He was distracted from the three in the bar, which was enough for me at the moment. I could deal with him, they could deal with the Troopers. 

»If you’re so concerned about the child, I’ll make sure you get to witness me taking it from Djarin’s cold, dead hands. Have you heard the noise his helmet made when it hit the wall? I doubt he’s taking more than his last breaths right now. How about we capture both you and the child, I will find some use for you.« He turned his head towards the Troopers, ordering them to burn them out. 

A Trooper equipped with a flame thrower approached the bar. The blaster fire stopped and I used this little moment of silence to feel for life in there. The child was there, but beside it was a weak presence which I assumed would be Mando. He was in pain and barely there, like a flickering candle running out of oxygen. The doorway was opened with a few explosives, through which the Flame Trooper could now enter. Then, something happened that Gideon had not expected and neither had I: The Trooper was suddenly engulfed in his own flames, reaching all the way back to his fuel tank, resulting in the detonation and death of said Trooper. 

I took the chance to retreat in the chaos to not end up being caught. I force-threw Gideon to the ground just in case. The Troopers were distracted. I felt the child and companions had made it out of the bar, somehow. Not knowing where the underground system would otherwise lead, I ventured out to the lava fields, assuming they’d go there to get out of the city. Part of the troops was sent into the underground system while the rest re-grouped at the lava fields. I circled around the city in a different route to meet with them. I kept my head low, not interested in actually being captured and put ‘to use’, as Gideon had called it. 

I hid behind some rocks to wait at the end of the tunnel leading out into the open. I felt the child close, sure they would surface soon. 

About a dozen of Troopers waited out here. I would be able to take down about 3, maybe 4, if I played my cards right. I snuck closer when the IG-unit emerged from the tunnel and before I could register that its self-destruct timer was running out, it blew up, the detonation throwing me to the ground, shrapnel shooting through the air. Something hit my head, I didn’t know whether it was metal, rocks, or parts of a Trooper. I might have fainted for just a second, I was disoriented and dizzy. 

Slowly I rose to my feet and walked forwards, only to be incapacitated by a stabbing pain when my leg lost footing on a loose rock. I looked down to my disobeying leg to find a piece of metal lodged in my groin on the left side. Damn. While the pain was manageable if I didn’t lose balance, this was likely just adrenaline dulling the pain to hit me with the mass of a star destroyer later. 

I barely registered the TIE-Fighter that Mando had taken down, nor did I register him being awake and more specifically able to take down a star ship with just a few detonators. The group of people stood off to the side of the TIE’s wreckage, talking. I couldn’t make out the words at first, but when I came closer I heard the Mandalorian speak for the first time. »– do you know who the woman was back in the city?« I held the wound with my hand, trying to stop the bleeding, with my cape pulled over it to cover it up. »That would be me,« I quietly announced, unfortunately not really graceful in my introduction. Mando turned and eyed me up and down. »Are you a Jedi?« he asked. If only I could think straight. Everything was spinning around me. »Something similar,« I replied, Karga also joining the conversation. »She has to be, I saw her light saber.« »Listen,« I pressed forwards, touched my forehead with my free hand, feeling blood on my finger tips. How many wounds were on me that I wasn’t aware of? 

It was bad. »I’ll tell you everything you need to know, but I need your help first. I got injured.« He exchanged a look with his allies, then looked back to me. Judging by the position of his helmet, he eyed the gash on my hairline. 

Mando checked his vambrace and sighed with his whole body, shoulders drooping and back arching. »Are you afraid of heights?« »Not that I would know.« »I can fly us to my ship if you can’t walk. But I have to be sure you don’t pass out.« »I think I can manage.« 

I had expected more resistance, more hesitation to just help me, a complete stranger. 

He handed the child over, forcing me to remove my hand from my wound, inwardly apologizing to the small green thing for having to hold it in my dirty hands. all it did was look at me with its gigantic dark brown eyes. It seemed weaker now that I could sense it so clearly, what had happened? 

What also didn’t register was when Mando had picked me up onto his arms. I was hypnotized by the large dark orbs staring into my soul. »Are you ready?« his modulated voice tore me back to reality. I nodded carefully. »Are you sure you have enough fuel?« »Yes. Hold onto the child.« 

And we were off. 

_______________________________

Some time later we landed next to the Razor Crest, one of the side ramps lowering for us to enter. I could barely walk at this point but held it together to not let lt show. »The child has to sleep, put it in here,« the Mandalorian ordered while pointing into a little cot, a makeshift bed made out of a small med-bay, it seemed. I sat the child down onto the bed, he subsequently closed the bay door with a click on his vambrace. His helmet nodded in the direction of a small ladder. »I have a medkit up in the cockpit. Careful, you might have a concussion.« I had to use both hands to climb up, tried to distract myself from the pain by asking him »what about your head?« He waited for me to reach the top of the ladder until he replied. 

»IG-11 had bacta and used it on me.« He followed me up the ladder. »I’ve never heard of an IG unit that wasn’t a bounty hunter,« I said while I stumbled towards the cockpit, leaning against every wall I could reach. My vision was blurring as I slumped into the passenger chair, the impact sending sharp pain through my spine. My senses were blocked for a second, but his helmet shot into my direction, I must’ve moaned in pain just now. 

»He was a nannybot for the child. I am its protector, so I had to be saved,« his voice was low and a little softer now we were in such close proximity. He kneeled next to the seat and wiped over my forehead with a cloth. It felt nice to have something cold on my head. »Where’s your injury?« He was so close, I could hear his voice underneath the helmet. »It… should be under the cloth?« His scoff made me flinch despite not being able to feel the air he had expelled. »I mean the one that’s causing you to stumble around and smear blood everywhere on my ship.« I felt his gaze burning into me despite the helmet hiding his eyes from my view. My heart was pounding into my ears at this point, either due to the blood loss or his intense stare. My head rolled a little to the back when I pulled my cape back to reveal the metal that was stuck in my groin. His helmet dipped down and it felt like eternity passed before he had assessed the situation. »I’m… not sure I can fix this. But the child can,« he said and shot up, going to the ladder before I could even react. »Mando…« I called after him, my head rolling to the side along the head rest. I saw his shoulders tense for just a second when he halted and turned to me. »I can do that too. Give me some rest, we have to get away from here first. There’s too many Imps out there.« He looked at me, took two shallow breaths, then walked over to his seat and growled. »Don’t fall unconscious.« 

Despite wanting to stay awake, the forces on my body when the Razor Crest took off took me right out. When I awoke, we were somewhere in space, engulfed in darkness apart from the small lights on the cockpit. Mando had turned to me, two fingers on my neck to check for my pulse. »I told you not to do that,« he growled in frustration. All I could focus on, however, was the sensation of his naked fingers on my skin. They were scarily warm compared to my body. How much blood had I lost? 

»I have to pull the metal out, it poisons your blood. I doubt you or the child have any strength left to heal you. I don’t have any bacta. I don’t know if it even works on such deep wounds.« I might have been imagining this, but it felt like I could hear genuine desperation in his voice. I laughed softly. »Isn’t it ironic? The droid that saved your life is my downfall, injuring me lethally by self-destructing. If I had known I could’ve hid behind some rocks. Or a Trooper, at least.« He listened, despite me not saying anything helpful in this situation. 

I took a deeper breath. »There is another way, but you have to trust me.« »Tell me,« he replied instantly, leaning more towards me. »I’m not strong enough, you’ve said that, and we both know it. But you –« He interrupted me before I could even finish my sentence. »I’m not a Jedi, I don’t have your magic.« »The force connects every living being, even you. I can heal myself through you, it’s probably not comfortable for either of us and we’ll most likely pass out. There is no other way unfortunately, or I don’t see any other way. I know you don’t know me.« »You’re right, I don’t. Not even your name.« He leaned back, bringing more distance between us again. He laid his glove down on his thigh and sighed. Realistically, why should he trust me? I looked into the visor and spoke, »I won’t blame you if it’s too much of a risk, it’s okay. Perhaps I can deal with this until we reach the next space port and we leave the shrapnel in there for now.« 

Silence fell onto the cockpit. It was like I could hear his thoughts race, debating what to do next, until he fully turned towards me. »Tell me what to do.« I reached out both hands for him to help me up. My legs were numb at this point so I needed his support. I walked over to the wall and slowly slid down until I sat on the ground. »Sit with me. Fall’s shorter if we’re on the ground already.« Mando knelt beside me, taking his other glove off. »Don’t break my trust, Jedi,« he warned me, spitting out the last word like venom. As much as I despised needing his help, I had no other choice. This, or death. »Believe me, this is just as uncomfortable for me, Mandalorian. Pull the shrapnel out and then press your hands onto the wound. Hard. Trap as much blood in there as you can.« I closed my eyes and waited until I felt him hold onto the metal. I inhaled sharply, it felt like the metal was stuck inside my bone and every little vibration made my nerves go insane. »On the count of three,« Mando breathed. »One–« »Bastard!« As soon as the word had left his lips, he ripped the metal out with one strong pull. His hands were warm and pushed into my body hard, blood pooling in between his fingers and running down my skin. Tears ran down my cheeks, the pain was unbearable. I placed my hands on his and focused on my wound, feeling the energy that was flowing through his body. 

Why? Why did I have to put my nose in other people’s business? Why did I interfere and get myself almost killed? 

They were safe. They were unharmed for the most part. I felt the warmth of his body slowly transfer over to my cut, a sign it was working. »Maia,« I softly said. »What?« »You said you didn’t know my name. It’s Maia.« It wasn’t much, but I felt like it was a small gesture to suggest I had some trust in him. I was thankful for his help, that much was certain. The pain slowly subsided, dissolved into fatigue. Breathing became easier, my head didn’t feel as heavy, but my eyes refused to open. The last thing I heard was a »what the –« and the sound of metal crashing against metal. I lost consciousness not long thereafter to no one’s surprise. 

I awoke some time later, not sure how much had passed, but it couldn’t have been too long. My body felt a little better. Not entirely normal or well-rested, but I was alive. My vision was back to normal and I felt somewhat fine, not dizzy. Sleep would still be good, but I didn’t feel safe in here. As I slowly straightened my back, I felt a shoulder dig into my side and weight on my thigh. Looking down, I saw Mando slumped over, his head practically on my lap, inverted, his helmet dragged down just a bit by gravity. I knew he didn’t show his face, so the fact I could see the dark curls in the back of his neck meant I had to be careful, otherwise the helmet would just fall off entirely. 

Despite my sheer endless curiosity telling me to just take a peek, I grabbed the rim of the metal to pull it back up. He had to be a human, or a hybrid at least. My fingers grazed his skin for a split second. I lifted the helmet and his head inside it carefully until I could scoot away under him and place him down so he would not lose his bucket when waking up. 

The rag he had used to wipe over my forehead laid on the headrest of the passenger seat. I grabbed it and started wiping down all the blood-smears I had left on the ship on my ascent. 

A noise startled me when I had reached the bottom of the ladder, the child was awake and still locked away in the cot. It was fussing, understandably so, far away from the adults and probably in the dark. It took a moment for me to find the switch to open the door and then two gigantic brown eyes looked up at me. I sat down in front of the bay to be on its eye-level. It reached out its small hand and I offered one of my fingers for it to grab onto. 

Thankfully it could communicate non-verbally and could tell me a bit more. About him. He wondered where his protector was, who I was. I could feel a lot of pain, a repressed trauma, similar to how my past felt to me. He was a child, much younger than me, I assumed. I told him I wanted to protect him and the Mandalorian. Despite being a stranger, the little one could feel my intentions and seemed very relaxed with my presence. I owed the Mandalorian my life, why would I want to harm him or this precious child? »Maia?« I heard a voice behind me. »Step away from the child,« his voice had dropped an octave and sounded tense. I turned my head towards him and saw him brandish a blaster, pointed at me. 

The child let go of my finger, allowing me to get up slowly, my hands raised. Mando shut the cot again, locking the child in yet again. I kept my hands up, even when his blaster went back into its holster. »How long was I out?« he asked. »I can only guess, about an hour, maybe. I myself woke up maybe fifteen minutes ago. I just wiped away the blood and then I heard the child fussing in there.« 

Did my explanation matter? Did he care? 

»Up,« he ordered and nodded towards the ladder. I did as he told me, reluctantly so, and waited for him to do … something. I could hear his breathing underneath the helmet, he was furious. I heard him wash his hands before he followed me up into the cockpit. I just stood in the open space behind the seats, waiting for him to come up. It’s not like I could run anywhere, we were out in space. 

When he came to me, he closed the door behind him, leaving me and him locked into this small confined space, that now felt even smaller. He approached me, his body tense and broad, and all I could do was take a step back. And another, and another, until I felt the hull press into my back. What was his plan now? 

»Did you touch my helmet?« »No, – Yes, but not in the way you think.« I shook my head and looked into that black visor. Why? Why did I ask him for help and got myself trapped with him now? His hand leaned against the wall behind me above my shoulder when he asked »are you sure? I remember you pulling on it.« »I am. I pulled it back onto your head. You were slumped over, on my leg, and it was about to fall off. Neither did it look comfortable nor did I want to wait until you moved back and it would just fall off.« »And the first thing you do when I’m unconscious is go for the child, when I can’t stop you.« He came closer, his chest plate now slowly pushing against my chest. I could no longer walk backwards to avoid him. 

»Mando, please, just listen to me. Neither do I want to anger you, nor give you the feeling I would abuse your trust. I touched your helmet to keep it from just dropping. I did not see your face if that’s your concern. You just saved my life, do you think I would betray you right after that? Especially when I’m confined to a small space with you and no escape?« »I’ve seen you fight, don’t sell yourself short. I’m sure your sword and the magic can do a lot of harm.« »The force. Not magic.« »Whatever,« he growled and pressed me into the wall, pushing air out of my lungs, but not yet suffocating me. I saw my breath fog up his helmet for a second. I felt his breathing, I heard the air move underneath the helmet. I think I could even smell him, I was so close. 

»Promise you didn’t see my face?« »I promise.« »Good. Otherwise I would’ve killed you.« »Would that change anything?« »No. But it would grant me a bit of satisfaction.« He didn’t move, nor could I. I watched his helmet fog up a few times until I could muster up the courage to ask him »Mando?« »Yes?« »Why are you pinning me against the wall?«

Silence fell upon the Razor Crest, the only noise audible was the low hum of the engine and our shallow breaths. He was so close I could feel his heart beat against my chest. That or my own heart was pounding.»Do you trust me, Maia?« More silence. What was I supposed to say? I trusted him enough to ask for help and I hadn't been disappointed. But now, pinned against a wall, I was unsure what to make of it. He didn't move. »It doesn't feel like I have a choice but to say yes.«»You always have a choice.« I swallowed. »Will you give me some space to breathe if I do?« »Find out.«

I sighed. »Fine. I do trust you.«

»Close your eyes.«

That confused me. It took a moment for me to register what he said, another to process how he had said it. Reluctant but too curious for my own good, I closed my eyes, unsure what to expect. As soon as my vision turned black, my other senses heightened and I had a mental image form. His hand, still as warm as I had remembered, came to rest atop of my eyes, making sure I was completely blind. I heard a hiss and then some rustling until his chest pressed further into me.

»Call me Din,« he practically purred into my ear, his breath suddenly sensible on my skin, warm and close. His voice was unfiltered, deep and gravelly, the rumble in his chest sending shivers done my spine.

He had taken the helmet off.

What was he doing? Had he not threatened to kill me a few moments ago? To be fair, his hand covered my eyes completely, there was no way I would see his face unless he took his hand off. Still, what was he trying? I didn’t have to wait long for an answer. His weight shifted and I felt his beard scratching my face shortly before soft lips touched mine. 

Out of all the possibilities I had thought about – him killing me or even worse – I never expected him to kiss me so gently. To be honest, it was probably the only thing I was certain of not happening. 

And even more confusing was the fact that I liked it. 

My hand searched for something to hold onto in the darkness, finding his waist and gently squeezing him. I heard him gasp quietly. 

What was he doing? What was I doing? What were we doing? 

It couldn’t have been more than 5 seconds before he leaned back and our lips detached. He didn’t retreat much, I could still feel his heavy breathing on my skin. »Now we’re even,« he whispered as he leaned back further. I heard more rustling and a hiss before my eyes were uncovered. He moved away, finally giving me space to catch my breath. When I opened my eyes, he was back on his seat, looking into the vastness of space. 

[unclassedguy]

I don't think I really enjoyed the latest chapter, and honestly from the way things are looking I'm probably not going to enjoy Jujutsu Kaisen's ending either....

I obviously like the characters, I like Yuji, I like Nobara, Megumi is alright.....I get wanting them to be happy. A lot of the stuff I draw in fact involves putting characters I like into silly situations as though they aren't in constant suffering in the source material (I'm immune to being serious 💔).

However, I feel like I'm not really vibing with this 'the trio is alright and they'll all be happy together' ending it seems Gege is setting up. I think part of it stems from the way Nobara and Megumi have been handled these past chapters. There was so much hype for Nobara's comeback.....I get it, she's a badass and fun character who's time in the story was cut awfully short.....I really do understand why so many people would want her back, but I just don't really like how close to the ending her return was and also the fact that up until that point it seemed pretty heavily implied that she had died. Not only that but her 'death' was such an important moment for Yuji and part of what made Shibuya and Yuji's story so tragic and Mahito so reprehensible as a villain. Nobara coming back so suddenly without even proper time dedicated to her (as in actual hints that she was alive and more chapters to explore the dynamics of her return and her contributions to the battle beyond one move) to make it feel even a smidgen satisfying just didn't sit right with me. The first thing I thought of upon seeing the chapter of her return was that it felt like fanservice. It felt like the type of thing a fan of the story would write for the 'hype' and not a choice that made sense. It was the same thing as Yuta returning in Gojo's body. People like Gojo, and having a chapter make it seem like he was coming back of course got the fans' attention. But in the end the story could've still worked well, maybe even better, without Yuta-jo's addition to the fight. It was unessecary.

Then we have Megumi who's been through so much for a good chunk of the story now. His body was taken over and used to hurt people he cares about, most of all his sister who is pretty much the center of his world, the person he loves the most. He'd given up, he'd sunk to the lowest depths submerged in Sukuna's evil. I feel like he sprung back pretty quickly......I don't think I'm as iffy about Megumi's return as I am with Nobara's considering Megumi actually at least got some pretty good and decent scenes with Yuji getting through to him and now also a talk with Sukuna.....but I dunno, I still don't know if I enjoyed how it was handled, particularly the fact that he just kind of comes back with no consequences after all the shit Sukuna's put his body through. I mean, he has a couple of scars sure but is that really all you'd expect after the world class beating he just got?????

Then we have Sukuna, reduced to glob of flesh. I don't mind Sukuna getting a pathetic death. After all he's done I think he deserved getting flung off his high horse and trampled on the ground. It still felt really abrupt though and like it didn't get enough time considering he's been such a big pain for months now and is one of the major antagonists. He's just suddenly gone and it felt anticlimactic and unsatisfying. I would've also liked to see at least a bit of what he was like in the Heain era.....

Hakari and Uraume too 😭. We really got none of their fight and when Sukuna is gone Uraume just....evaporates???? It honestly felt like Gege was just trying to get them out of the way so the series can end already and not an actual conclusion to their character. I wish they could've gotten more depth beyond being just Sukuna's loyal servant.

Them there's of course all the things Gege still hasn't touched such as Jin being Sukuna's twin, Kenjaku being Yuji's mom, the merger etc. Those things I guess I'm not as sad about because I'd already come to terms with the fact that Gege isn't going to get into them, at least not to the extent I would've wanted. It still sucks though.

Maybe I'm just a hater, maybe I don't understand what Gege was trying to do, maybe it's just a matter of preference. I think Gege probably tried his best with jjk using what he had and I don't think it'd be right to hate on him. And even if I am kind of dissapointed in where this story is going I don't blame anyone for liking it.

I may just not like 'happily ever after' endings or something. Not to say Jujutsu Kaisen is some super uplifting story even if the main trio has survived. There's still characters who have died and stayed dead, but it's still definitely a happier ending than what I expected.

At the end of the day, I like stories that put their characters through the wringer. I like stories that destroy everything their protagonist has ever had and turn their world upside down and accept no half-assed reparations to the damage they've caused. I like stories that fuck up everyone involved but still let at least one of them be smiling by the end, even if they're alone, because life is still worth living. Honestly, I would've preferred Yuji move on by himself than for a happy ending to be squeezed out of jjk's remains in a way that didn't feel satisfying. Though maybe I wouldn't be so sour about an ending where the trio gets to live together if we had just had more time to make it feel right. To make it feel emotionally impactful and like it wasn't just hype. I'd take a bittersweet but well-done ending over a half-assed good ending and a well-done good ending over a bittersweet ending....y'know?

Well, that's just my opinion.

[ophelieverse]

Please make a part two of “Of monsters and flowers”I need it please 😭💚

⊱ ❀ ✿ ꕥ Of promises and thorns.

Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader

Part 2 of Aegon and Tyrell reader finally!!I got a little carried away again,so i’ll probably make a part three!Thanks for requesting and i hope you like it,also sorry for the long waiting and for the grammars errors💕🫶🏻

pt1 is here 💕

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for the people who wants to be tagged(sorry if I forgot someone)and I hope that what i wrote was worth the wait🥹🫶🏻

@audigay @zgzgzh @iwybie @kishie8 @savagejane1 @scrunkly-crunchie @m1ndbrand @iveofficiallylostmymarbles @thirsty4nonlivingmen @poison-iv3 @trshngyn @kyrieshoka @daddysfavoritesexkitten @blackrose8425 @aellarys @khaleesihavilliard @tswiftsthings @this-is-a-bad-idea

There is a crack,a crack in everything and that's how the light gets in.

Even if the spark must come from within him,could he save himself completely?To shine again wouldn’t he need someone?Just as he must be reborn from his own ashes,didn’t he also needed light,not to burn,but to light his way?Didn’t he needed a soft hand to open his eyes to the light?

For Aegon the light took place in his life in the form of Lady Y/n Tyrell.His mother family,the Hightowers of Oldtown,words were “We light the way”but before meeting the young,kind and sincere girl he had never knew the warmth of the sun.The kind of warmth he was used to was harsh,destructive and painful like the fire of a dragon.He grew up without some one to tell him how beautiful or how good he was,without a word of comfort to reassure him giving him his place in the sun in the world.

Nothing would have been enough to repay him for that silence.Inside he would always be a child hungry for kindness,that would always feel ugly and incompetent.But then,just like a miracle,the stormy clouds had disappeared,the grey sky turned into the clearest one he had ever seen and the warm rays of the sun were kissing his cheeks with so much affection.

In a short time,Lady Y/n had found the crack on his surface and gotten inside him.She was stuck in him.Somewhere between his stomach and ribs,he had looked at her and she had got there without asking for permission.And she would have remained there with arrogance,to fill his eyes,to eat his sleep and steal his breath,stuck in the saliva of his mouth.

She would never leave and he didn't knew the first time he had met her,as he looked at her from a distance.He didn't knew,yet he felt her under his skin,inside his bones.His mind had become a forest and she had carved her initials in every tree,never leaving all of his thoughts.

When Aegon first met Y/n he immediately thought that she wasn't even that beautiful as his mother made her sound like.Actually,when he hade caught her by the fountain in the gardens of the Red Keep,she was a walking mess.The young Lady was soaked from head to toe,her pink pastel dress was clinging on her body like a second skin and her little silver shoes were covered with mud.In her hands she was holding a little animal,a frog,that made his nose scrunch up in disgust and her hair was a disaster.She looked like a little girl who grew up,but still she was too little to play the part of being a woman.He would’ve have to marry her,as his mother and grandfather had told him,or ordered him,just the week before her arrival.

Aegon was some kind of relived,the idea of marrying his idiotic sister was worse than a nightmare but at the sight of the young Lady,he had seriously thought that the gods were laughing at him.While he had distractedly walked outside after his mother had caught him drinking in the kitchens again,he had seen her.

She was smiling at him and he was looking at her.Even with all the distance,the people rushing in and out the castle to prepare everything for the feast of the night,the noise,he had heard her looking at him,imperceptibly,in places he didn't know he had.

The prince had thought that she was too small,too young,to stand there in the middle of the gardens with the promise that one day she would’ve become his wife.That ugly dress glued to her body made her look like commoner,dry as a chapped leaf.And there was nothing to smile about,that dumb look on her face made him angrier,especially fo being caught by the prince in such conditions.

But that little girl had stuck herself inside him,with her hair dripping with water,many escaped the silver flower with which she had collected them and the naive smile,too clean,the one of those who have never been touched by the real world.

In the Reach and in all the realm she was known as “the thornless rose”,a nickname that was given to her years ago,craved on her skin,that he didn’t care about till he met her.Till the warm and peaceful and loving light touched his soul for the first time.

Aegon never thought it could happen to him,to finally feel something,that one thing that he had always dreamt of but at the same time he sounded so foolish to him.The twisted idea of love,falling in love and staying in it.How cruel and how much will it hurts to stay trapped in that fake ecstasy called love?He had witnessed it.His mother and his father were married for far too long,she didn’t loved him and he didn’t loved her,their only agreement was having children to strength the royal dynasty.Children that none of the two were capable to love.But then it was a sunny day of spring and he didn’t recognize it immediately.When he saw her he thought “Who is this idiot?And why is she smiling at me?”but in the end he fell in love.He fell in love because that's what he’s been waiting for.

Maybe he didn't even knew,but,even though at his young age,he was ready.He was just waiting for her arrival.That girl capable of wiping away all the dust he had carried on his heart,all the bitterness left by people.Lady Y/n came when he least expect her,to remind him that good things exist and that,sometimes,they can also happen to people like him.To him who have never been given anything;to him who have always had to sweat every little victory in his life,to him who has never put anyone first and who now seems so hard to believe.That day had come,by chance but he felt like he have known her forever.Like he had already seen her in his mind and dreams and everything that she had offered him looked too good to be true.

And yet that imperceptible recurrence of shivers didn’t wanted to leave his body,mind and soul.

Aegon didn’t knew exactly what drives two people to bond.Maybe the tuning,maybe the laughter,maybe the words.Probably,start sharing something more,talking a little about themselves to slowly discover what the heart hides.Learn to love each other,to accept their flaws,merits,angers and jokes.Or maybe it happens,because it had to happen.Because everyone is destined to find each other,sooner or later.

But every time that he came to like something,he wondered how long will it take for him to poison it with his darkness and how long will it for it to run away.

He always had the certainty that something was wrong with him.Like a truth that for everyone shone in the sunlight,that no one had dared to tell him but showed him every day of his life.He didn't feel the emotions he should have felt and his behavior didn't never coincided with the expectations of others.It almost seemed that his soul was anchored to the one piece that was unable to fit in with the rest of the world.

His inadequacy made him fragile.He had always thought about it and always considered it a flaw.It forced him to replicate gestures learned by heart,in the vain attempt to look normal.As if his not knowing how to adapt shouted loudly how bad he actually was.It was ironic:he felt incomplete,but the rest of the world didn’t felt the same way about being without me.

There was something wrong in him.Something that he tried to hide,drowning it in endless cup of wines,covering it up by pretending that he didn’t care,the longing expression on his face,the horrible feeling in his stomach whenever he witnessed other people being treated the way he craved too.There was definitely something wrong,or else they all wouldn’t be acting this way towards him,and he didn't understand what it was,until that day.

Spring evening,soft and balmy and beautiful.The smell of the earth rose in the stillness like a dream cloud.In the cherry blossom covered hills the air stirred,sending pink and white swirling in like in the sweetest hurricane.If Aegon looked closer he might be able to make out the dancing roots of the trees,slithering to the ground,echoing the folk song sung on the tongue of the wind.In the soft flicker of the evening light,the birds had already arrived.Hooping and flying around the branches,looking down at the soft green grass.

Under the dark branches of tall trees,framed by the idyllic landscape,surrounded by sweet and velvety fragrance of the blooming flowers,with their vibrant and meaningful colors,Aegon was laying on the soft cover on the grass.His head,crowned by beautiful long pale hair,was resting peacefully on Y/n lap,as she stroked it delicately with the tip of her fingers.

His purple eyes were open,taking in every inch of her skin,the delicate path that he wanted to trace with his fingers but only allowed his eyes to do such a thing.Sunsets in her eyes and a smile on her lips,she was the most beautiful Lady he had ever seen.

Y/n was beautiful,so beautiful that he wanted to hear her thoughts,to read all the books he talked to him about,learn about her flowers and bring them to her every day.She was so beautiful that he wanted to rub her feet before bed and rub her back,run her bubble baths and bring her a cup of wine and sit next to the tub talking to her as she soaks.She was that kind of beautiful,the kind that goes much deeper than what he could see.She was the kind of beautiful that when he see her smile,his heart wanted to pop off his chest,that kind of beautiful that he had hardly ever see.

Dancing to the melody of his heartbeat,sunsets in her eyes as she spoke to him softly,oh so softly such is the breeze«Your heart is beating so fast.»she made him notice,placing a warm,delicate hand on his chest.

His heart was,it had taken full control of his body and he loved in heartbeats.Slow and sweet,sometimes hard and reckless,and racing,other times close,maybe too close.Then again running and reaching and aching.But his heart was always there to remind him,how nothing has ever felt more right than being with her.Whether they were just sitting in silence,busy doing their own things with just the presence of the other as comfort or sharing a pure and warm moment as they talk about everything and anything.

«I get nervous around you»Aegon confessed without embarrassment,even though he was thankful that his eyes were closed in that moment to not see her reaction at his words and blushed cheeks.

Her hand was still on his chest,right above his heart,the one in his hair faltered for a second,a little laugh was heard before she spoke again«I make you nervous?Why?»Y/n murmured.

Because she was the only person he could talk with about the shade of a cloud,about the song of a thought,and about how,when he went out in the gardens to look for her today and looked at the roses and other flowers in the face,they all seemed to smile at him with all of their petals.

The pure and soft intimacy that they were sharing,that had tied them together was something completely knew to him.He never realized how big of a deal that was.How amazing was to find someone who wants to hear all about his day and all the things inside his head.Opening up and revealing his vulnerability had always been hard.As most of what he kept close to his heart is what he thought couldn’t be safe in another’s hands.It had put him at risk of being rejected,misunderstood,humiliated,judged,and left feeling deeply exposed.But then when she gently held those most intimate and hidden parts to him,and not only reassured him that they are safe,but love them and protect them as if they were her own,it enabled him to connect on a much deeper level.

«Because you are pretty.»Aegon answered,even without looking at her he could picture in his head the way her nose would scrunch up,the pink shade that would soon color her soft cheeks and down her neck along the shy little smile that she would try to hide.

«You say this because,you haven’t seen the peonies yet.»she confidently told him,like any kind of flower could surpass,in his head,the outshining beauty that she possessed.

Aegon shrugged his shoulders«Who needs flowers when i have you to look at?»he ponder out loud.

Y/n felt her cheeks becoming warm,a little giggle tickled her lips«Flowers are the real beauty of the world,even as they fade,wilt,fall.»she answered,the same tone of pure adoration when she was talking about something that she was passionate about.

«So you are suggesting that i should prefer flowers over you?»the young prince teased her,the same mischievous grin present on his pale face.

The lady legs shifted under him,his eyes were still close but he felt her move,in the most delicate way possible to not disturb him,stretching towards the grass to pick something«It is right to love flowers they have been with us from the very beginning.Many of them have beautiful histories and meanings,explaining some amazing facts of life.»she said with sincerity.

He didn’t care about this sort of things,flowers,plants,stupid animals or anything related to them.But she cared,she spoke about what made her little heart flatter with so much gentleness,with a pure look of adoration in her eyes.She cared,so he cared too.He wanted to know everything that she have to teach him,he would’ve listened to her speaking about the difference between bees and bumblebees or just sit next to her while she was creating another flower crown that she would’ve put on his head.

Aegon sit up,missing the soft contact that he had with her,and looking at Y/n holding a flower in her head«What’s the meaning of this one?»he asked.

«This a chrysanthemum.»Y/n said,feeling the green flower stem between her fingers«It means “hope for the future”.»she explained like she was a book,tracing with delicacy the petals.

Normally,other people spend their whole lives worrying about the future,making plans for the future,trying to predict the future,as if discovering what life has in store for them will help them to prepare for better or worse.What they don't realize is that the future is always changing.The future is the home to the greatest fears and wildest hopes.But one thing is for sure when it finally reveals itself,the future is never how people had imagined it.

For Aegon,his future was already planned.Since before he was born and even after,his grandfather and his mother had already known what to do with and for him.He didn’t have the luxury to decide for himself and only now he had started to think about what he really wanted.The thoughts of days full of cups of wine,servants girls and absolute laziness were soon replace with sunny evenings and smell of spring.

«Do you ever wonder about your future?»Y/n suddenly asked,her voice was a little whisper and she seemed distressed.

Aegon furrowed his eyebrows,curios about what could have made her feel like this but instead he answered her question«Sometimes»he said,clearing his throat.

«And what do you see?»Y/n said with a tiny voice and blushed cheeks.

Aegon pretended to think about it«You and me.»he continued.

«You seem very sure of this.»she murmured,he could sensed that something was troubling her.

«Of course I’am,we’ll be together.»Aegon said immediately.

«But if something was to happen,will you remember me?»she hopefully asked.

He smiled,trying to not scare her and to put her mind at ease«Nothing will happen.»

«But will you remember me?»she sounded persistent,a pout on her little lips.

«I will always remember you,how can i not?»he laughed a bit.

Y/n had a small smile on her lips,she was forcing it because she seemed nervous,unsure as she held the chrysanthemum towards him«Will you promise me?»she asked,eyes gleaming under the sunlight.

His fingers brushed hers,both of them holding together the stem«I promise you that,no matter what,we will always be together and that i will remember that you existed.»he was sincere with his words and maybe that’s what she needed to her to ease herself«Will you remember me?»he said then.

Y/n smiled so bright«I will remember you,and your kind eyes,as someone who always tried to be good.»making his chest burn.

«Nothing will happen to you.»he reassured her,no one would’ve taken her away from him now that he had her.

Then something was happening,he felt it in his bones and in his racing heart that was hammering in his chest,his purple eyes ready to pop out his skull.

The sun disappeared,everything around them was dark,cold and empty.Aegon looked around confused,fear grown in his body when the flower they were holding in their hands was caught on fire.Golden flames erupted from the elegant petals,running up the young Lady arm and taking place on her beautiful and unfazed young face.

«Then why did you let him do this to me?»Y/n cried,her voice sounded strained,ugly sobs coming out from her lips,hot tears of the same color of blood stained her cheeks.

He wanted to scream,his eyes widened at the sight,he didn’t felt the warmth but only a black hole opening in his chest ready to swallow him hole«I’m sorry!»he whispered,his voice didn’t wanted to come out and his hands were stuck on the stem.

«Why Aegon?»she screamed at him,the flames danced around her skin without harming it,but he could feel the pain in her voice«Why would you let him hurt me?»the blood was pouring from her eyes,falling from her cheeks till her hands and touching his too.

He had blood on his hands and what had happened that day was all his fault.

Aegon body jolted awake,the emptiness that took his breath away always came at night.When he fell asleep he always saw her face,what he lost that day in her cannot be replaced.

Sometimes he dreams.He creates a dream around her.He creates things that he´ll never admit and he whispers them quietly.He whispers them so they’re not quite real,he whispers them so they’re easy to deny.He whispers his dreams,his love that screams in his heart.

Other times,his mind has the urgent need to kill her.To replay in his head the imagines of the day he last saw her.He had often imagined himself covered with golden scales,horns on his head and fire coming out his mouth.He is confused,he feels his brain pulsating against the bones of his skull and feels that thirst,that need to feed on her.In his mind his eyes are bloodshot,he has lost his human part and chases that animal one,the sadistic one.He waits for the arrival of the meat to be lavoured,devoured.

Aegon woke up late in the morning,when the air was warmer,the sun was up in the blue sky and every living creature in the capital was wandering around the day.His body has jolted up from his bed,the soft mattress was drenched in sweat and so was his immaculate,pale skin.His chest was bare,toned from all the hours spent training with his brothers,raising up and down furiously.His mouth was open,rosy lips trembling as he was hungry for air,breathing hard and choking on his own spit.

He was used to this feeling,the panic in his lungs,the sound of his frenetic heartbeat ringing in his ears.When he wakes up from his nightmares,when her imagine start to fade and he almost forgot how she sound like,he needs some times to understand where he is.Then he does,his widened purple eyes stars to make up the outline of his room as he tries to calm himself down.

«Why i must have dreams that makes me unable to function?»he murmured to himself,drying the tears in the corner of his eyes.

«Aegon?Are you alright?»the sound of the voice that belonged to a young girl made him jump again,almost falling off his bed as a white sheet was covering him from the waist down.

Next to him,laying on the soft mattress,a girl who only seemed a few years younger than him,was woke up by his continue tossing around in his sleep.She looked just like a porcelain doll:the small and round face,the rosy cheeks,the upturned nose,the pale and delicate skin around the large blue eyes,the thin lips of the same color of the summer cherries,all framed by a long cascade of golden curls that fell softly on her shoulders.

Cressida Lannister,only child of Lord Tyland Lannister,Master of ships for the King Small Council,was naked.She was laying on her side,concern was painted all over her beautiful face,her pale breast was on display,turgid nipples from the breeze coming in from the window.

Letting out the breath he was holding in,Aegon closed his eyes for a brief moment.His head was pulsing,on the table next to his bed,a empty and long forgotten pitcher of wine.His nightmares came more often,to hunt him in his sleep,when he drinks but if he doesn’t drink the nightmares still exists outside of his head.

It had been nine long,lonely and painful years from that night in the Dragonpit.Since he had almost lost her,since he realized what pain really felt like,since the accident that none dared to talk about.But Aegon knew from the way everybody still looked at him,whenever someone mentioned her family,or one of his siblings decided to fly on their dragons.It may happened years ago,but the imagine of flames that took away her gentle features and the sounds of her screams was something he could never forget.

Her presence was still there,he could feel her passing through his days and coming to him at night,right before he fell asleep.He could still see her in flowers he started to tend in gardens,place he had spent all of this year in,he could easily find her in the books he read or in the warm sun the woke him up every morning.But a ghost can be a lot of things.A memory, a daydream,a secret.Grief,anger,guilt.The line between grief and guilt is a thin one,sometimes,Aegon thought,that death was preferable to the agony of living.

The gut wrenching feeling in his stomach,when he knew he had fucked something up so she had left but he couldn’t even blame anyone but himself because he was the problem.For one blazing moment,there was no dragon,there was no Lady Tyrell,there was only him.Only Aegon,there was all him,he had the idea of bringing her in the Dragonpit that night,he didn’t stopped his dragon for getting mad,he was responsible for what had happened to her,he did it.

Aegon ignored her question,rubbing his tired face and his burning eyes«Why are you still here?»his voice was guttural«I thought i made it clear that,when we finish,you can’t sleep in my bed.»he continued,suppressing a yawn.

He had grown up in this years,his long pale hair were short to his shoulder,his thin and puny body was toned,his shoulders broader and his arms and legs strong.One look at that beautiful purple eyes and those silver locks,the beauty that he had inherited from his ancestors of Old Valyria,and it didn’t took long before young ladies started to fall at his feet.It’s not every day that someone get the chance to ride a dragon and Cressida Lannister took hers immediately.

Aegon had started to sleep with her,to have his mind busy and to distract himself,over an year ago.She was indeed beautiful,elegant and educated but also spoiled and a talked too much for his liking.But she was the closest thing he had to shut all the voices in his mind,especially when he was too lazy to sneak out the castle to go in some brothel.

The young Lady rolled her eyes,a scowl painted the beautiful features on her face«You are always so bitter when you dream of that girl.»she whispered before getting up from his bed.

Aegon watched her with the corner of his eyes,she didn’t stopped to grab her peach colored dress that was still on the floor,instead she walked towards the open window.For him,his pain and his dreams were something private.Something that only him could understand and he didn’t wanted to share it with the people around him.Many nights he had woken up all sweaty,the horrors that he saw in his head still glued on his eyes,and,all alone,he had put himself to sleep again.

But there were also times when Cressida was too tired or too stubborn to leave him alone like he requested and she wasn’t new to see him toss around in his bed,to hear the chocking sobs coming from his mouth.It didn’t took long to her to realize who was the person that hunted him at night,that had him taking care of the gardens during the day and especially that made him not fall in love with her instead.

«That’s why i don’t want you here in the morning.»he said,clearly already annoyed before the day could even start.

She stayed quiet for a moment,then«You said her name again.»Cressida made him notice,ignoring his rude tone,and taking a deep breathe of fresh air.

The words escaped from his mouth,like a prayer that begged to be heard«Y/n»he had murmured immediately,passing his fingers on his lips.

Aegon didn’t heard that named in years,every one made the effort to not pronunce it whenever he was in the room.«Y/n»he repeated again,like a song he knew by heart,tasting every letter on his tongue like the most delicious fruit.

Has any name ever been so beautiful?Has any name ever made him feel like this at the mere thought?He kept that name,like the memories he has of her,close to his heart,only whispering it at night when he was alone in the dark.

Even when Aegon was with Cressida,he was alone with in his thoughts.And as the result of missing Y/n,his mind wanders,and all he wanted was to have her straddling his lap,her lips on his,first slow,sweet,soft;then harder,and fiery and so urgent that they can’t catch their breath.He wanted to feel her arms around him,and her lips on his neck.He want to feel her hands in his hair,holding his face,exploring along his body.He wanted to feel the warmth of her skin against his.He wanted to be as close to Y/n as possible.

But then he opened his eyes,just to see another girl underneath him.At least,a mere comfort for his heart,was to know that his Y/n was still alive.She still exists,at the same time as he was existing,even if she was far away from him the thought the she was still breathing,that she could still feel the sun on her skin and talk to her flowers,was so calming and beautiful and it made him feel safer.

«Oh,would you look at that?»Cressida said when the young prince remained silent«Seems like the Spring had came back again after all.»with her hand she was caressing the little ceramic vase on the window,where beautiful chrysanthemums had just bloomed.

Aegon felt the air stopping in his lungs«What?»he asked,getting up from the bed and holding the white sheet to his waist,he walked where the naked girl was«It’s spring?»he breathed out.

After a long summer and a long winter that lasted for the past nine years,spring had came back,insisting with its green hair and delicate songs chirped by the birds outside.The days distended as winter,cold,grays and empty had soon melted into spring,warmer and swelled.From his window he could see the sweet grass that perfumed the yard and petals that blanketed the pathway.Down in the gardens the white lilacs,the daises and the honeysuckles that he had taken care of bloomed and bees hummed near the fountain.

Cressida nodded,a big smile on her lips«My father’s tailors had sewed me the most beautiful dress i’ve ever seen,for the great feast of tomorrow evening.»she said dreamily.

It takes him days to recovers from dreams with her in it and in that moment he couldn’t come to understand what was happening.Aegon wasn’t stupid,he had spent hours studying along side his younger brother and their Septon,he knew that with every spring the Tyrell family would’ve come to the royal court and for two weeks the people in the realm would celebrate.He had already lived one of those parties but,for some strange reason,the idea took him by surprise.

«What did you said?»the prince asked confused.

Cressida placed a warm hand on his chest,tracing the pale skin«It’s a really pretty dress.All red with golden-»she started with a mischievous expression.

Aegon swatted her hand away,interrupting her«Not that.»he immediately said«There will be a feast tomorrow?»he asked again.

The young Lady huffed,taking a step back and frustrated with his moody behavior«Of course,isn’t this how it works since your ancestors had given the Reach to the Tyrells?»her question sounded rhetorical.

Yes,since Aegon the Conqueror had made the Tyrell family the protectors of the Reach,the honorable and rich House had came to court to celebrate the beginning of the beautiful season as a symbol of gratitude towards the House of the dragon.

Aegon had been so busy with tending the gardens and in his own thoughts,that he didn’t witnessed all the people rushing by him to get everything ready for tomorrow.

A loud knock at his door startled him«Come in.»he ordered,probably thinking it would be one of his servants that came to check on him and help him get him ready for the day.

Cressida squeaked like a little mouse when she heard the sound of the doorknob«I’m naked!»she hissed at the young prince,before crouching down to pick up her dress quickly to cover her chest and bare legs.

«No one cares.»Aegon answered,yawing.It wasn’t a secret for anyone at this point what was happening between the two and the young prince didn’t made any effort to hide it.

Ser Criston entered the prince chambers,his armor shone under the morning light and his white cloak fell perfectly from his shoulders«Aegon.»he greeted him,with the same kind of intimacy that there was between a father and a son«Lady Cressida.»he politely bowed his head,without looking at her nude figure.

«Ser Criston.»the prince said,passing a hand through his short chopped hair«To what do i own the pleasure?»he asked trying to hold in another yawn,he didn’t slept at all that night and he could already feel the dark bags under his eyes.

The knight stood still,with his hands behind his back«The Queen had requested your presence in her chambers.»he informed the prince,then he turned to the young lady that,red from embarrassment,avoided his dark eyes«Your father is waiting for you as well,my Lady.»he continued,clearing his throat.

«Thank you,Ser Criston.»Cressida murmured.

«This early?»Aegon asked confused,turning slightly to the girl next to him.

«It’s past midday,my prince.»Ser Criston made him notice.

Aegon was ready,all dressed up from head to toe in short time.The dark emerald green of his clothes was shining under the light that came in from the windows in the castle halls,his short silver hair were brushed enough to made them look as if he had a good night of sleep.

His face however,that beautiful,pale and arrogant face of his didn’t even try to hide the annoyed and sleepy expression he was wearing.The prince didn’t wanted to talk with his mother,to feel on him her piercing gaze or to hear any of her words.It was already a hard day,first he didn’t slept at all,instead vivid memories clouded his mind and tormented his heart,then,like some kind of jest,the spring had came back when he had lost all the hopes.But the idea,just the brief though,that the gods could’ve been merciful this time and grant him the wish to see his Y/n again for the occasion,had his hands sweaty.

He didn’t know how and what to feel,his emotions were messy,too much,too little,too loud.He couldn’t organize them inside his head,the horrible aching feeling of guilt that kept him up at night was fighting with the pure desire to be next to her as soon as possible.But then again,would he be able to forgive himself for what he had done to her?Did she hated him?How could he survive if she did it?

Aegon was walking towards his mother chambers when,in the empty halls,he heard two girls talking,or better,whispering to each other.They seemed young,maybe a few years younger than him,wearing a long bordeaux dresses under a dirty white vest,he had seen the two of them often in his sister presence.

«Have you heard?»the taller one whispered to the other«They said that her skin is so damaged that looks like boiled oats.»she sounded horrified,pure disgust painted on her face.

The other one gasped«That poor girl!I don’t know what i would do if my face was reduced to look like porridge.»she cried holding in her hands a vase with fresh flowers in it and almost dropping it on the stone floor.

The taller servant nodded frenetically,agreeing with her friend«I saw her in the gardens this morning,right by the fountain and she is wearing-»her next words remain stuck in her mouth as her eyes widened.

Aegon heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he couldn’t almost hear himself talk«Do I need to remained you that you should be working and not gossiping about people that are not here to defend themselves?»the authority in his voice made the two servants shiver as they quickly bowed their head down and planted their eyes on the floor.

«We-we apologize,my prince!We didn’t mean-»one of them stuttered.

«Another word and i will have your tongues.»his voice cold and steady«Now,go back to work.»he dismissed them.

As the two immediately returned to their chores,the prince started to walk in the opposite direction.Aegon had lived that moment inside his head million of times,every night and every morning after he woke up,he would stare at the gardens by his windows,playing in his mind the exact moment when he would see Y/n again.

He imagined different scenarios,any kind of dialogue,every move,with the sun and under the rain,but nothing could’ve prepared him for the real event.It wasn’t fair how his memories were too honest and how the girl that he had lost still existed in his mind as how he last saw her.Hearing the two servants talk crushed his heart under the weight of the brutal reality,Y/n in his mind was still the young pretty Lady with the most brightest smiled he had ever seen,but now,after what happen years ago,she was completely different and he couldn’t even imagine how much it did hurt her.

Perhaps he couldn’t go back in time,he couldn’t fix what he had done but maybe he could try to make it better,less painful for the both of them as he stood there,planted on his feet,the air chocking in his lungs and his vision blurred by tears.

Spring was all over the place,the warm air was full of the sweet and velvety perfume,curtains and fountains of flowers framed the idyllic landscape.The soft and fresh green grass was full of daffodils and snowdrops and lilies and daisies that had worked their way out of the dark.But they weren’t the only,the most beautiful and delicate flower that had bloomed in his garden was Lady Y/n.

She was there,finally after nine years,she was alive before his eyes and he had remembered her so dearly.She was still sitting by the fountain,a light lilac dress was wrapped around her angelic figure,she had grown up in these years and she looked more like a woman than a little girl.She was taller,her breast was well defined just like her waist and her hair her curled down her back.

Aegon had dreamed of this moment but perhaps it was just another of his nightmares.Her face was hidden,a dark purple veil covered her features from under her eyes till the base of her neck,a melancholic but at the same time beautiful way,to try to cancel what had happened to her.

In a second it all came back,the days spent together laughing or laying under the sun,the smiles,but also the screams,the burning fire,the moment he almost lost her forever.He wanted to turn back on his steps,to flee the place and never go back,but then she turned her head and he felt the weight of her gaze on him.Her eyes,beautiful and sweet,were still her eyes and she was still looking at him,like there was something worth it in him,the same way that she did when they had first met.

«Y/n.»he murmured,the words escaped his mouth as if they wanted to run to her,he didn’t notice that he started to walk towards her like some kind of magic was pulling him.

Y/n stayed quiet for a few moments,now she seemed nervous.She had got up and he didn’t knew if he hated the fact that couldn’t see her expression or to be thankful to not witness the mistakes he had made in the past.

«My prince.»she spoke politely and he could still see the movements of her lips under the dark veil,even her voice sounded the same,just a little bit slower.

Aegon didn’t knew what to say,how to act even how to move in the place they had created around each other.He felt like a little kid again,seeing her like this,real and alive made his hearts start again,feel the earth speed under his feet and thinking that he could died but then she spoke to him and brought him back to life.

In that awkward moment of silence,where they were just looking at each other,he cleared his throat«Do you like the flowers?»he asked and he felt stupid,he already knew the answer but his brain wasn’t thinking straight in the moment.

She nodded,her eyes gleamed under the sun«The roses are very beautiful.»she noticed,moving towards one of the bushes.

He followed her immediately,almost stumbling on his feet but giving her enough space in case she didn’t wanted him to be too close«They had a little trouble to bloom»he explained«this hibiscus was trying to suffocate them and take all the space.»he tried to sound as calm as he could while he spoke,showing her the other green plant where colorful flowers smiled at them.

«Still they bloomed,»Y/n said with a soft tone«no matter under what circumstances,if it’s meant to be is meant to be.»then she picked one in her hands,tracing the red petals with her fingers.

«Yes.»Aegon said,his hands were itching to touch hers and he wished to be in the place of the flower who was getting all her attention«Nature always find a way.»he continued.

And maybe that could be applied for people too,he thought.Maybe they were actually gravitating around one another,maybe it’s was because of their connection,their history,their understanding and intimacy.Maybe they were also meant to be,no matter what had happened.

Now that he had Y/n here,close to him,breathing his same air and complimenting his flowers,he would’ve done everything to adjust what he had done wrong.When something breaks,if the pieces are large enough,it can be fixed.Unfortunately sometimes things doesn’t break,they shatter.But if the light comes in,the shattered glass start to glitter.And in that moment,the pieces of what they once were catch the sun, he remembered just how beautiful it was and how beautiful it will always be.

«Have you seen the peonies yet?»Aegon asked a moment later,leading her through the green and floral paradise.

«Yes,»she answered kindly«but i would like if you’d shown them to me.»she was walking close to him,their arms brushing against each other.

Red peonies symbolise love,passion,honor and respect,all the things that he felt for her and grew along the flowers«Do you like them?»he sounded unsure,but he really hoped that she did.

«I prefer the white tulips»Y/n answered,turning her head towards him«But this peonies are very beautiful.»and he could feel her smile through the words.

The prince swallowed,the white tulip meaning was “forgiveness”.Was she really trying to tell him that she was forgiving him?

«I can have a bouquet done for you in a-»he was speaking was fast,that she had to place a hand on his chest to stop his rambling.

«Aegon.»Y/n called for him,using his name for the first time«It’s alright,i don’t need that but thank you.»she calmed him down.

Aegon placed his hand over her,letting himself savor that kind contact that he had missed and when she did flinched or said anything,he let out a sigh of relief«Can i show you something else?The violets grew-»

Y/n shook her head,her eyes were lost in his and in the way his thumb was caressing the back of her hand«Let’s talk about something else besides stupid and boring flowers.»she tried to jest with a little giggle.

«Flowers are not stupid.»he said immediately,pretending to be offended.

«Boring and stupid.»she corrected him.

Now they were walking again and it seemed that nothing had changed between them.From the outside,if someone took a closer look,they were still the little kids that used to sit there without any care in the world,with only they growing love to shield them from the reality around them.For a moment everything was right where it was supposed to be,they were talking to each other,laughing at stupid jokes and nothing was wrong was happening.

«Do you remember the fairytale you narrated to me,in this very spot,when we were little kids?»Aegon asked a moment later,it was the first time that he was bringing up the past and he hoped that this topic wouldn’t be to heavy for her.

Y/n eyes seemed confused,she was still playing with the flower in her hands«I’ve narrated you many tales,you need me more specific.»the sound of her light giggling was muffled by the veil but he had heard it right and clear.

The prince smiled,for the first time in a while«It was a tale about a little man,who lived isolated from the rest of the world in his big garden.But people used to go at his door for his roses.»he tried to explain,remembering her words as they walked in the nature.

«It wasn’t for the roses»she corrected him«it was for the thorns.»a small smile stretched her lips under the veil.

In the Reach they had many stories.Whispered tales,good night fairy tales,legends narrated on the tip of lips,at the light of a candle.The best known was the one about the “Thornmaker”.It narrated of a distant,remote place...A world where no one was able to feel anything,and people lived on empty souls,bare of emotions.But hidden from everyone,in the immense solitude of his garden,there was a little man dressed in shadows.A lonely,pale and curved craftsman,who from his beautiful roses was able to make crystal thorns.

People went to him,asking to be able to smile,to laugh,to cry,to be able to feel a shred of feeling - because in them hides love and the most compassionate of goodbyes.They are the most intimate extension of the soul,what,more than joy or happiness,makes you feel truly human.

And the craftsman satisfied them,creating for each one of them a single thorn that was able to make them feel what their hearts truly wanted:love,joy,happiness,all by the sting of a thorn.But then people started to become greedy,wanting to feel more and soon the pure and soft emotions were replaced by anger,despair,pain and anguish.They were lacerating passions,disillusions and tears,tears,tears - the craftsman infected a pure world,tinged it with the most intimate and usary feelings.

Mothers,Septas and nannies used to whisper this tales to children before putting them to bed,to teach them that every child can be good;that they must be good,because no one is born bad.It is not in their nature.And to never let themselves be too greedy,to never want what they couldn’t have.

«The Thornmaker.»Aegon remembered now,nodding his head.

Y/n hummed«You were scared of him»she suddenly said,her chest was moving up and down to suppress a laugh at the memory«The day that i told you about him,we had spent the same night awake in the kitchens because you were afraid to go to sleep.»she teased him,her eyes were still soft though.

Aegon stopped walking,they both stood there looking at each other and said nothing.That kind of nothing that meant everything at the same time.

«I wasn’t scared of him.»he corrected her«I was scarred of you.»he breathed out,feeling vulnerable under the light.

«Me?»Y/n asked surprised,her eyes widened and instinctively she brought the rose in her hand close to her chest.

«Yes,you were terrifying for me.»his chest was heavy and he was chewing on his bottom lip,trying to explain what he had kept hidden all this years.

«I didn’t know that-»she stuttered,feeling vulnerable too.

Sensing the panic that was blooming in her,Aegon reassured her immediately«Not in a bad way.You know that warm feeling you get when the sun is shining on your skin for a bit?»he asked.

Carefully he let his hand reach for hers,he had to hold himself to not combust when the soft texture of her skin touched the rogue one his.It was still her hands,even after all this years,her skin was delicate,warm as it caressed his.And when she nodded,he kept talking and holding her hand.

«That’s how I feel when I’m with you.The sweet way you look at me,as if I was the only person in the world and you are right at home with me,it's special and it scared me.»Aegon throat was burning,his lips were trembling with each word he spoke and she listened carefully to all of them.

She had planted in him a thorn,right in the palm of his hand,right in the gardens like she was his own special Thornmaker,making him feel that he never knew could feel before and it scared him.It was a beautiful kind of fear in the beginning but then he became greedy to feel more and it ruined everything for them.

«But then»he continued«I dream every night that you look at me without recognizing me.»they had promised to each other,so many moons ago,that not matter what,they will always have a memory of what they were once.

Y/n eyes were shining,crystal tears were threatening to slide down her covered face and wet her dark veil.Even if he couldn’t see it,her lips parted but no word could made it out if not a brief choked breath.

«Please tell me that i’m not as forgettable as your silence is making me feel.»he had no right to look this heartbreakingly beautiful as he pleaded to her and surely he had no right to ask her something like this,no after what he did.

«I thought of you everyday.»Y/n whispered,so sincerely that made his heart burst.

«You did?»he had to make sure.

She nodded«How could i not?The handsome prince that promised me that we would’ve been together forever.Is not something easy to forget.»she was trying so hard to not cry in front of him.

«And we will.»Aegon immediately said«Everything will be better from now on.»he was holding onto that promise.

«Aegon-»she shook her,she seemed distressed.

«What’s troubling you?»he asked softly,still caressing her hand.

Y/n took a step back«I can’t go back to myself.»and then,with the next words,it made it shatter on the ground«Not after-»she stopped herself,breathing heavily at the memory.

Suddenly the garden became to big and she was nine years away.Y/n let go his hand and the rose she was holding in the other fell silently on the ground,alongside the pieces of their hearts.

«Y/n.»»he whispered,he was really crying now and his chest was hurting with every breath he took in.«I desperately wish that things could just go back to the way they were before,trust me.»he sincerely revealed.

«Aegon,there are things that you don’t know about and that are much bigger than both of us.»she tried to make him understand.

«Then explain them to me.»he pleaded,trying to reach for her hand again«What’s wrong?If you tell me,I’ll fix it for you»he asked again.

She was scared of something,he could feel it just by looking at her,and she was trying to hide it as if she could protect for what the future was planning for them.But he wouldn’t let her to be alone in her pain,if it was too heavy he would’ve help her carry it.

The Lady shook her head,tears were hiding in the corner of her eyes«I’m sorry.»was all that she said before leaving him alone once again.

Aegon didn’t knew how he survived till the dinner that his grandfather had informed him that would’ve been hosted that late evening.He didn’t knew how he had walked inside the castle again,right in chambers and never leaving the bed till his mother had came to talk to him like they were supposed to do in the morning.

She,his beautiful Y/n,hated him and she had every right to do so.He had ruined everything,not only her delicate and young face,but what they had created between them.There was no turning back and it was all his fault.How dangerous and self destructive was for him to let her place her thorn in him,to let her be the only light to touch his soul and his heart.Now he was doomed,alone in his darkness as he selfishly thought that she could’ve forgiven him.

When the clear azure sky was painted in dark blue and the pale moonbeams replaced the warm rays of the sun,his entire family was reunited for dinner.Aegon didn’t heard a word of what his mother had said to him in his room that early evening,that’s why he looked surprised to see Cressida and her father,Tyland Lannister,sitting next his brother and sister but most importantly he was surprised to see his youngest brother,Daeron next were his Y/n was sitting quietly.

«Finally.»his mother came in the view,with her hands she was trying to adjust his messy short hair«Take a seat and be good,your father will be here soon.»she informed him.

Aegon nodded distractedly«Pretty dress.»he had murmured walking to where Cressida was sitting.

But his eyes were on Y/n.He noticed her first when he entered the room,she was sitting in the corner and she was wearing a light green dress that fitted her perfectly.Her long hair were braided on her head and a dark green veil was covering her face as usual.She was breathtaking as she stood there silently,while her mother,such a vile and loud woman who didn’t spare him a kind look or any words,was talking to her.

«Brother.»then Daeron had greeted him with a bright smile,opening his arms as he walked towards him.

The room was illuminated by the soft light of candles,the air smelled of wine and fresh flowers,the noisy of people taking to each other and of the servants that were walking in and out fell to deaf ears.

«Daeron?»Aegon was indeed happy to see him,it had been years since he was sent to Oldtown to their uncle.

Daeron was taller now,his muscular frame more defined for his seventeen years of age,but the pure smile on his handsome face and his bright and kind purple eyes,were still the same as the young little boy that used to follow his older brothers everywhere.

«It’s good to see you.»his younger brother said,he seemed nervous though as if he knew something.

Aegon forced a smile on his face«It’s good to see you too.But why are you here?»he asked,confusion all over his face.

Daeron cleared his throat,looking around the room for a moment«Didn’t you spoke with our mother?»he said quietly.

Why was everyone still holding on this?First Ser Criston,then his grandfather,now him.He didn’t wanted to talk with his mother he wanted to talk with Y/n.He wanted to be alone in the room with her,not surrounded by all this people that were accusing him with their eyes.

«Of course.»Aegon lied,his mother came to talk to him but he didn’t listened to her.

Daeron seemed relieved«Good,i hope that everything can still remain fine between us.»he said then,making his brother look even more confused.

Before Aegon could said something,asking what was going on,his father made his entrance.The king health was not the best,after nine years his infection grew drastically and now he looked like the empty shell of the man he used to be.His father had lost almost all of his hair,some of his teeth and his left hand but he could still walk on his own.

The young prince took place in between his younger brother Aemond that gave him a quick glance,as if he knew what was going to happen,and Lady Cressida that smiled immediately at him,she seemed very happy.

On the other side of the table,right in front of him,Y/n was avoiding his heavy gaze keeping her head slightly turned to where Daeron was sitting next to her.He was speaking to her,whispering something in her ear like he was used to do such a intimate gesture for all his life,and she was nodding at every word.

That,that kind of closeness,that understanding and that way to speak to each other made him want to rip his eyes out.But most importantly made him finally realize what was going on.It made him realize why his mother insisted to speak with him,why Cressida was holding his arm and smiled so much,why Daeron was suddenly back and why he was so close to Y/n.

Aegon felt like he was going to faint,his eyes were shining under the light of candles,his heart was beating so fast that he almost couldn’t understand the words coming out his father mouth.

«Cheers for spring,for life and for a growing soul.»the King spoke,sitting at the center of the long table and holding up his cup.

«Aye!»Aegon heard the people in the room,watching them raise their cups in the air.

But he didn’t,he remained quiet and didn’t moved,his Y/n stood still and silent.

«But also for the growing of our families.»his father continued,his mother face was gleaming and his grandfather was clapping his hands«Our three houses will be united together as one.»his voice sounded tired and what he was saying didn’t seemed to be his idea.

Aegon felt Cressida excited thrill,but his eyes were setting on the figure in front of him.Y/n was looking at him now,her eyes,once bright with light,looked empty as he watched him.Little tears growing with every minute that the king took before delivery the news that would’ve pulled them apart even more.

«My first born son,prince Aegon,will marry Lady Cressida by the end of the spring.»his father announced.

It was like being trapped in his mind all over again,but this night he couldn’t wake up because the wasn’t dreaming.The nightmare was right outside his head,under the form of a young Lady of the House Lannister that was gripping his arm and was so happy to become his wife.

«What?»he let out,turning towards his mother.

«Aegon.»this one silenced him with a stern look and a fake smile on her face.

The prince turned to look in front of him«Y/n?»he whispered,did she knew about this?Was she alright about what it was happening?

The young Lady blinked her eyes for e few times,like she was trying to resist the urge to cry«I’m sorry.»she was saying,just like she did earlier in the gardens.

But what really broke his calm and composed demeanor were the next words«My youngest son,prince Daeron,will marry Lady Y/n once the summer will arrive.»and with that everything was gone.

The room fell away,all that he could see was red.He have done bad things.He couldn’t take them back,and they were part of who he was.Most of the time,they seem like the only thing he was.But who was the real him?The person who did something awful or the one horrified but the awful thing he did?Would one part of him be allowed to forgive the other?

It didn’t mattered in the moment,a blinding rage of jealousy was leading him,pulsing in his veins and pumping in his heart.He was envying his brother,for receiving something he had been praying for all his life only when he believed that it was the last piece of it. For his brother,the one with a beautiful patience,it's a moment of celebration.

«I will make you a happy wife.»Daeron told Y/n with a kind smile.

But for Aegon,it was like he was saying:«Look, it's obtainable.I am on the right path living for the right dream.Your dream.»

Everything was blurred after that,Aegon couldn’t remember what had happen precisely.Only that everyone were screaming,that Aemond and some of the guards had to drag him away,that his mother was crying and that Daeron face was a bloody mess under his heavy knuckles.

But most importantly that his Y/n was looking at him,the same way that she did when he had last saw her.And right now he felt like he had lost her all over again.

[callmeklair]

I wonder what are your favourite pairings in DL? Can you give us a rank of DL ships 👀

//contains route spoilers and sorry if it gets a little long 😭

there are so many cute and adorable ships, in their own way, that it took me years to select my fav ships, and here they are with rankings:

1. shinyui: aside from shin being embodiment of anger and impatience, i seriously have lost the count of how many times i have re-read his DF route, like the character development and their bonding is so wholesome. the way yui is ready to give up everything even if it means she will have to keep running away from people for the rest of her life with shin, she was ready to throw it all just so she can be with shin and shin trying to push her away so that she can be happy in a comfortable place instead of being stuck with him in his mess and get targeted. even in LE he pushed her away scared that she might get endzeit and suffer from its symptoms and he didn't want her to wither in pain and would rather let himself go through it alone than see her harmed.

2. carlayui: his character development was so smooth and amazing to watch, seeing him and yui bond over books was also adorable to watch especially it was the first time his soft side came out, i think it was also due to Yui that he gave up on taking revenge on karlheinz and instead BOWED to him just to bring yui back to life.

3. shuyui: shu giving yui queen treatment by still being his lazy self>>>>>>>> the difference in shu's behaviour can certainly be seen from the first game and the latest game despite keeping the same lazy attitude. the development is so good, if i keep talking this post will become endless.

4. reiyui: Reiji slowly opening up and protecting yui in his own rational way by planning instead of going all fighting so that she won't be hurt or get involved in this dangerous battle is the best character development. yes he was like that from the start about planning and all that, but he who was prideful and always boosted of being a vampire started to question where vampires come from and if they were originally human in DF route. and he even said that he will choose yui over being a vampire. and in his more blood vampire ending, when little Reiji said how servants are afraid of him and his inventions because his mother and brother are distant from him. Young Reiji also mentioned how he always carries his self made ointment around because his brothers are clumsy but nobody wants to use it. proof he was the best boi from the start in his own way.

5. subayui: SubaruYui was my first ship that i would do anything for. I mean my tsundere gentle boy deserves the whole world. I haven't read HDB routes much because too much violence isn't my cup of tea ik ironic but i did read manga and also his MB route, there was a lot of development I can say. and let me not get started on his DF route, not only in his route but it can be seen that subaru had soft spot/feelings for yui in others' routes too, even in kou's LE route, he didn't give up on Yui. He is very protective of her in anime too, probably why they were my first ship.

6. rukiyui: his DF route and anime is what attracted to me this ship because of all the angst. His MB route and CL route definitely didn't disappoint me. In DF he pushes away Yui to not betray karlheinz but later confronts karl as yui is the most important person and the best thing happened to him in his life aside from his brothers. In the MB he was even ready to become a snake and actually became a snake to take yui away. His CL route felt like I was reading a married couple's life and it was refreshing to read compared to all his other routes which involved angst and drama

7. kouyui: The ups and downs in his MB route for his character development was understandable especially after knowing the kind of environment he was in. there were times when I just wanted to smack kou so badly on his head for his treatment towards yui. Then i read his DF route and it was literally all angst and i think when yui said "what do you mean useless!?!???" when kou said he cannot become Adam while crying, thinking it's useless for Karl's plan but still wants to love her after almost ahem himself from the terrace and Yuma & Azusa saved him from his own pool of blood.

8. azusayui: i just recently started reading his DF route and oh my god he is literally the best boi, I'm still reading his route but he is already getting into my heart because he is such a cinnamon boy 😭.

one of my fav ships is ayayui too but the way all the above ships have raised my standards... i still love them and enjoy their content.

[a-libra-writes]

Yaaaayyyyyy requests are back!!! I love your writing so much😭😭😭😭 can i ask for my ASOIAF bois: Jamie, Stannis, Jorah, Sandor (feel free to change the list) when they found out their s/o is injured but their s/o was hiding it from them because s/o didn't want them to worry?

Your boys are at the front :> along with some others i thought of and have been requested over the past few weeks.

Jaime - This man has the nerve to get annoyed with you, asking all sorts of questions about how it happened or how bad it is. He is just as bad about hiding his own hurts, emotional or physical, but does he recognize the irony here? No. The more severe the injury, the more irritated he'll be, and if someone actually did it you can bet Jaime's going to be reckless about retaliation. That may be why you hid it in the first place! He has no experience with treating wounds, so finding some way to retaliate is the only thing Jaime can think of doing to help.

Stannis - Oh, he'd be beyond annoyed with you. It seems reckless to him - yes, he'd worry, but that would only be natural. Expect a lot of grumbling and a lecture as he looks over the injury and does what he can. He'd check on you regularly, even if he's busy, or at least send a maester to ensure it's healing properly. Even before he found out, Stannis probably picked up something was off, but couldn't put his finger on it - now he understands you were trying to walk normally or mask pain. Stannis might take it a little harsher than you intended, wondering why you felt the need to hide it. Was there a different reason?

Jorah - Jorah does not take this well, and that may be the reason why you hid the injury in the first place. You being wounded feels like he's failed in some way - failed to prevent it, failed to help you care for it. He'd be insistent on helping care for it and you'd end up listening to some lectures as he did so. Jorah wants to be relied upon and to be useful, so it's painful when you don't go to him with something like this. He forgives you quickly, though; he always does. Jorah asks you to promise to tell him next time your hurt, maybe even begs. He hates that you could've been hurting and he didn't know it.

Sandor - His temper flares up once he figures it out. He knew you were moving strangely, and why'd you hide it? So he wouldn't worry? The Hound might bark a laugh at that, if he wasn't so pissed. It's fucking stupid to not treat a wound like that, and he tells you as much. There's been plenty of times where he's disregarded his own injuries, but that's different. He's used to being hurt, taking punishment - you aren't that way. You shouldn't be. As much as he distrusts maesters and healers, you both find one, and he glowers the whole time. Well, at least his foul mood is concentrated on someone else ...

Asha - She could just smack you upside the head. She still might, if you resist getting treatment. While you're being taken care of, Asha's really letting you have it. You aren't one of those empty-headed Ironborn warriors, so why are you endangering yourself? She isn't amused by it being for her sake - she's strong, she can take it. She could've gotten you help. Asha's anger fizzles out quickly, especially if you're already contrite. Once the healer is gone, she takes your hand and makes you promise not to hide next time.

Arianne - She knew something was up! You can't hide the injury for long, because she was noting your different gait, your change in attitude. She just confronts you directly, so your plan of hiding goes out the window within days. She might throttle the maester who tried to hide it too, but that's for later. Arianne helps change the bandages herself, speaking quietly yet firmly that she doesn't want you to do this again. The way Arianne sees it, worries you all the time, so it's only natural she gets a taste of her own medicine once in a while.

Ned - If he's busy and you're clever about hiding it, it may take some time for Ned to notice. Some things may strike him as odd, like if he noticed you walking strangely one day or you seemed tight-lipped, but once he finds out the full truth he just feels confused and guilty. Ned doesn't consider any worrying to be a burden; he ought to worry, as your lord husband, and he wishes you came to him rather than hide it. He also feels more guilt over not having noticed right away. With a serious expression (yet still in his soft voice), Ned would ask you to not hide your pains next time, and he'll do the same.

Benjen - He caught onto you acting and moving strangely, and considering how observant he is, figured you'd hurt yourself in some way. There's plenty of ways to get hurt on Castle Black, let alone the constant aches that come with the cold. When some time passes, he eventually brings it up with you, since you aren't mentioning it. He figures that you didn't want to worry him, but Ben wouldn't hide such things from you, so he'd rather you be upfront with him - and once he figures it's a more serious wound, his usual lighthearted, joking expression fades and he asks you to not hide such things. He'd be actually upset if you hadn't sought any treatment. Out in this cold and wilderness, you must let yourself accept help.

Mance - He understands, regardless if you're a Ranger with the Wall or a wildling he met far beyond it. No matter which side, showing weakness is often not an option. He figures you're wounded because he notices you walking and moving differently, trying not to put too much stress on it. He'll just ask you if he can look at it and try to help - and he's surprised if you were hiding it for his sake. It seems a little silly, but Mance would never mock you. Mance just asks that you tell him next time - he insists upon it - so he can help. He'll worry much less if he directly treated the wound.