#it's so much less scary than i thought
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Me and Zip had our first American Thanksgiving together and we cooked our first turkey EVER together and it was so good and so tasty and aaaaaaaaa ;-;
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#we did a practice run with a roast chicken on Saturday and guys#it's so much less scary than i thought#and also we feel like we've leveled up as chefs#like we're real COOKS now because we can do this!!!!#we're gonna be able to host people for giant dinners!!!!#i am so god damn excited hahaha
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Look, the bottom line is this. You're gonna be wrong and fuck up sometimes, that's just how being human works. No matter what you mean or how much you care, sometimes, you're gonna do something or say something that hurts someone or perpetuates bigotry you don't believe in.
The goal isn't to do no wrong, that's an impossible standard. The mark of "a good person" isn't that they always do good, it's that they're willing to admit when they've failed, done wrong, made a mistake, and they're willing to course-correct when they do.
It's important that you're trying. It's okay to be the bad guy. You don't need to get defensive, you don't need to stake your identity in "person who never does that kind of wrong." You just gotta be able to say "Fuck, my bad, I'm sorry," accept that your behavior didn't reflect your beliefs, and change your behavior so that it better represents who you mean to be.
The less time you spend lingering on whether it feels like people believe you are who you say you are, the more time you can spend getting better at being that person.
Some people will try to tear you down when you make mistakes, they'll try to pigeonhole you as a "bad person," someone whose very existence is defined by doing harm. This isn't your problem, and it's not your responsibility to prove anything to them. They don't have to believe you, and you don't have to appease them. So long as you're willing to accept when you *do* hurt someone, intentional or not, and you're willng to put in the effort to make reparations and change, you'll never "be a bad person."
Let yourself fuck up. All you have to do is course-correct when you notice your actions' impact have strayed from your intentions. The right people will notice that effort, and they'll be proud of you. And perhaps most importantly of all, they'll let you make that effort. Anyone who tells you it's too late to change, to discourage you from improving, or stop you from trying, is not your frend. You don't have to impress them. Ignore them, and let yourself change.
#I didn't manage to say it in the main text so you get it in the PS tag ramble#When you hurt someone by mistake‚ it's okay to feel bad and scared and want to make sure they understand you didn't mean it#But you need to set that aside for the moment. You need to let it be about the other person's hurt.#You can ask other people for support with your feelings‚ they don't make you a “bad person‚” but they're not appropriate to put on the#hurt party. When you accept that you can fix your mistakes and that you're allowed to be upset to‚ it gets less scary to make them#You know there's a protocol for this‚ and so long as you keep it together enough to follow it‚ you can mitigate the harm and fix things.#Don't get defensive. As tumblr says‚ that's the devil talking. Defensive is never the right move when someone says you fucked up/hurt them#You can maintain that it was a mistake‚ but keep that part short and sweet. Let them be hurt‚ let it be you that hurt them. It's hard but#I promise it'll make it better in the long run. People are more likely to forgive you if you let them be angry at you for hurting them.#It's normal to be upset when you hurt someone. It's normal to be upset when someone hurts you. These can and must coexist.#Let them be upset at you‚ apologize sincerely‚ and no more than three to five times. Let it be about them. It can be about you#with others‚ and when they've cooled down and approached you with a willingness to hear your side of things.#Sometimes you'll have to just sit with the feeling of having been wrong or seen as a hurtful person. It sucks‚ but i promise#it sucks so much worse when someone who hurt you is more focused on whether you hate them than if you're okay. Let them be upset#It'll be okay. I love you#mumblr#problemnyatic thoughts
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An eye for a life, unquestionably worth it (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Siffrin#Bonnie#Blood#It's been *checks watch* nine months??? since I last drew an empty eye socket???#Not even ZEX got that treatment how could this be :0 It's such a Look#I guess it's only been a couple months since I posted Diaryfic!Edgar but that was drawn a while ago - Sif is new and fresh blood <3#I'm sure they're stoked about it lol sorry Sif#That really was my entire motivation I just wanted to draw eye horror and blood on him lol poor Sif#But also I got to practice Bonnie :D Again I'm sure they're stoked about the situation#Gosh that'd be such a scary situation for a kid :'0 And feeling guilty about it weh </3#Their name being called and it's scary and sad even tho Sif's just trying to comfort! Weh#If I thought about it in a Bit less of an angst mood (lol) I imagine the other adults would flock to Sif both to protect/help him#But also to keep him out of Bonnie's line of sight - the less time spent looking the less traumatic hopefully :(#There's something Very about Sif getting blood - his own or anyone's really - on his cloak :0#Something he's had for a long long time and Something Happens - it's just Very I dunno of what but Very#Really fun to draw the black and white blood splatter ♪ Shaped character design paired with soft details ah <3#I've been really into that hazy fuzzy eye style lately too it's really fun to ''tone'' the eye rather than ''line'' it#It's not something I think about that much so I don't do it often! But it's quite effective :D
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promised i’d draw something decent related to canadaronpa but instead i just made goofy shit
it’s the flannels i think
#do i tag this….#sure why not my friends thought it was funny#danganronpa#leon kuwata#junko enoshima#chihiro fujisaki#mondo owada#makoto naegi#trigger happy havoc#dr thh#scott’s art dump#btw. the places in order of the characters are:#toronto ON (leon) vancouver BC (junko) fort mcmurray AB (chihiro) churchill MB (mondo) and saskatoon SK (makoto)#chihiro’s very much based off me… her childhood definitely had weekly visits to the oil sands museum#junko’s one of those bitchy and honestly lowkey scary film students#i have a friend whi lived in vancouver and she said it was accurate lol. also suggested i add some leopard print so that’s what’s on her bra#makoto honestly is the easiest to design.. just flannel and shorts and big ol boots. plus obviously the roots socks#wanted to give him a hoodie and overalls but that’s more komaru i feel#and then leon and mondo are both big coat :3 leon’s wearing a jersey for the toronto maple leafs and mondo’s shoes are actually moccasins..#i know those two fight because one is from literally the biggest city in canada and the others from a town of less than 1000#anywayyyy yea#diagnosing my blorbos with canada hope that shit is terminal /j
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regained my 12 year old swag(read an entire new percy jackson book in one sitting)
#CHALICE OF THE GODS WAS SO GOOD#AUAUUGHHHUHGHHHGHHHSH#i was laughing out loud every few minutes for like 5 hours straight#this was a book of BITS#(spoilers in tags from here on out)#i keep thinking abt percy’s river rage tantrum and how he came out of it to annabeth saying ‘yeah he’s scary sometimes when he gets worked#up. do you want more tea?’#COMEDY#the entire bit with him hiding under the pastry cart. the thing about annabeth having a secret fanclub and percy’s not even phased.#THE HIMBO JUICE THING. RICK RIORDAN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THERES A HOOTERS BUT FOR MEN AND SMOOTHIES#annabeth apparently specifically won’t bake clue cupcakes. and this is happening less than 2 years after the famous sixteenth birthday blue#cupcake that she and tyson made for him. the one that looked like a blue brick that they are with their hands.#<— not inconsistency. comedy.#percy’s whole thing with playing with the snakes with the rainbow as he’s fully prepared to be eaten😭😭😭😭😭he is SO unserious#the entire mt olympus scene where he keeps getting distracted from what he’s doing bc he can’t stop roasting zues in his head????#PERCY I LOVE YOU#ugh i forgot how much i adore percy pov.#pov of not knowing what’s going on ever. pov of being distracted every 10 seconds. he’s literally so real#i thought eudora was hilarious#the whole concept that percy has to do this at all. i think it’s so funny#ppl who are mad that the premise of the quests is stupid. like yeah. percy jackson has a stupid life.#when annabeth broke through his window at 4am to sit on his bed and talk about rocks and trees. everything#percy not knowing the names of anyone at his school or on his swim team#when the god showed up at his cafeteria and percy just ate his lasagna sandwich before talking to him😭😭😭😭that child is TIRED#i loved the light graffiti in the tunnel. when percy wrote their initials i SCREAMED#WHEN. WHEN HE ASCENDED AND TURNED INTO RAINBOW LIGHT WITH THE POWER OF WANTING TO TELL ANNABETH HE LOVED HER.#I DIED.#THE POWER OF LOVE ALWAYS SO STRONG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#AUGH i am weak#pjo
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sorry about being unable to shut up about Solas my brain latched on so hard. I can't not think about him.
#solas#solas dragon age#dragon age inquisition#Babygurl of the month I suppose#It was Gortash before him but tbh the DAI community is much less scary than the bg3 one#Love that stupid elf#I'm basically live posting my thoughts about him here#If he dies in Veilguard so do I
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btw i genuinely believe that if you're considering having kids or you want to have kids, you need to actually try a full-time caretaking situation and see if it works. bc i love kids i LOVE hanging out with them, and i was thinking maybe one day i might want to have my own, and then i started working as a full-time caretaker for a toddler for like six months and i was like ohhhh yeah ok so i was right this is 100% not the lifestyle for me. and that was just a full time job not a 24/7 situation.
#mine#kids#the toddler in question is my brother btw so if anything this makes me even MORE sure#hes a baby im an adult eldest daughter so there's already that pre-existing familial love and the fact that#he feels more like a child than a sibling to me.#i love him more than anything i have had to do so many insane things and had absolutely no issue with them because#it was for him (gross things; scary things; infuriating things)#but i have also learned that caring for a child is 100% not something that i would be able to keep up as a lifestyle#or even WANT to much less be GOOD at#anyway. food for thought. and for the love of god please start healing before you have kids also
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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Toku Summer Day 4 - Camping
I'm so glad we found a place with an ocean view! Choujinki Metalder ep19: Summer Vacation is an Adventure Tour to the Ghost Bank
#tokusummer#metalder#metal heroes#please watch metalder please watch metalder please watch metalder plea#episode title like a damn fallout boy song#ngl folks camping on the beach is so much nicer than camping in the bush#and my thoughts and opinions are always correct thank you for your understanding#(its mostly down to the bugs + ocean noises are much less scary than bush noises)#*throws up in your shoes* tiny shorts hakko#this is before hakko learns who ryusei really is and i find myself wondering#if ryusei made sure to surface often enough to make it look like he actually needed to breathe#or if he banked on hakko just not paying any kind of attention to how long he's been under the water
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ur art is so, so amazing, is there anyway u could do a tutorial bc I wanna draw like u so badly
i can try but idrk how to explain myself or make tutorials lol
i think my style is just a product of my brush and what im trying to get out of my art, which is trying to portray the characters as accurately as possible. i rly just want it to look like it could be a stylized redraw of a deleted scene or something
my process is kinda everywhere bc i just move on to whatever step will probably make me hate the piece less when im done with it. i draw with a more square brush (blurring marker 1 on ibis) which i def recommend. its great for focusing on shapes in ur art and it helps me not overblend/forces me to think of more interesting lines/shapes. my sketch is a thicker size of the same pen, focusing on the major shapes and proportions and i just make as many additional layers overtop of it, lowering the size of the pen and adding details as i go
once im at the lineart i usually use a site that creates color palettes based off images (usually just steal some from old catholic art) and i steal my base colors from that. it doesnt matter how terrible ur base colors look as long as they make sense and r what ur generally going for.
these were my original base, i use colored line art and shade the basic shadows using the line art mixed with the base color, highlights r whatever is the lightest color in the palette. after that i duplicate and throw it through this filter
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i play w the colors and use it as a color/hue/luminosity layer on top of the original version, lower opacity and render now that theres more colors on the canvas (the filter creates more contrast between the lame base colors i mix, then i can add bounce shadows and shit).
i use a shit ton of digital cheats. single color overlay layers at the end of a piece, pizza face overlay glow, using vignettes around the border to draw the eye towards the subjects at the center, filters, color palette generators, etc. they make things sm easier so u can worry abt experimenting with other things.
i dont rly know how to explain how i do clothes or hair other than focusing on the shadows and worrying abt lights later. this is honestly the best tutorial i can think of bc in my head im just drawing what i see as best as i can with the pen i use. use a fuck ton of reference, do actor face studies, and try to experiment with ur style everytime u draw. ur never gonna learn how to use ur programs or expand if ur bogged down by trying to achieve a specific look. sometimes that thing u were nervous abt bc thats not how ur style usually works is the best thing on the piece at the end.
actually draw only what u want to draw in that very moment and use that as an opportunity to experiment however u can. i just draw chainshipping and find ways to trick myself into learning 👍🏻 sorry this is so bad if u have any specific questions i can try to answer those better
edit: this is what i mean when i say just draw with whatever base colors and use the lineart to add value. i thoroughly hated this piece at this stage but once i adjusted the pallet it felt much more cohesive and i could continue on with the drawing. the best thing i can say is to have absolutely no process past the same few first steps and resign urself to a cycle of self hatred and throwing random bs at the wall to see what sticks
#sorry this is so bad these dubious ass shroom carts beating my god damn ass HOURS later#i deadass woke up saw this and said Fuck bc i knew id want to answer it but i deadass cant think#sorry this didnt make sense. my style id just however i personally fail at achieving complete realism#also merge ur colors and lineart after the base idk makes it less stiff#ive always thought painting is much more forgiving than lineart and cell shading#theyre scary#most of my art is just how i compensate for being unable to rly fully stylize#i havent been able to since high school so i just stick w realism while i unlearn my old bad habits from having an exaggerated style#GOD ANYWAYS#rambling#larry.txt
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and when I say big things I mean....! ohhhhh...I'm very happy ;_;
#it's very surreal...! i almost never thought this would happen. but there's so much hope left to hold onto really#and it feels so good...! it feels like as though just maybe - finally - i am alive.!#and living. and feeling real feelings once again...its been a very long time. it feels like nothing has been so real such as this not for#not for a long long time#very scary. i want to leap fowards into it; it is very hard to wait and hold onto patience now that it has been said...#but of course there has been much patience and a lot of waiting for literally over a decade so. surely it should not be hard to hold onto#aaaaah!!! very lovely. very happy. less terrified than i ever thought i could be#very strange!
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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as an american living in a southern state and working in a public workplace, i am so fucking scared
#tw guns and gun violence#i probably shouldn’t be up reading gun violence statistics in the middle of the night#but here i am#it’s just so fucking scary#and the fucked up thing is#nobody cares#we’re all supposed to just go on about our days as if something couldn’t happen any fucking minute#like i’m not a fucking martyr#my job will NEVER be as important to me as my safety#fuck that#i care too much about myself and my own life than to be a peace of meat risking my life out here#while some politician sits high and mighty on their untouchable throne just waiting to cast their ‘thoughts and prayers’ on the next victims#pretty much every fucking day we have another mass shooting#and it seems like#the less anybody does something about it#the more people are gonna feel like they can get away with it like idk but#WHY ISNT ANYONE DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT?????#fuck the us#fuck our government#and fuck those goddamn guns
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I can't find it and don't remember who said it but I saw something where op was comparing liberals' reaction to hearing AI the same way conservatives react to hearing pronouns and I'm gonna be thinking about that all night now
#my diary#it's an imperfect comparison cuz unlike the conservative/pronoun hysteria I think the anti-AI camp has some perfectly fair and valid points#I just also think those points are misguided and people are mad at the wrong things#and the assumed endgame(?) that AI as a tool can somehow be... what. defeated? made to go away forever? is frankly naive#I don't bring it up usually cuz I am NOT trying to discredit people's concerns about generative AI in late-stage capitalism#(like I'm a writer you don't have to tell me that automating creative work is dangerous and scary#if I hadn't lost my writing gig in 2022 I definitely would've been outsourced to chatgpt by now)#but the automation is not the problem here it's that our livelihoods depend on things not being automated#automation has been deleting jobs since the industrial revolution (possibly earlier idk I'm history-dumb)#the whole point of automation is ideally to reach a point where none of us HAVE to work anymore#but I concede that this is an extremely unhelpful and callous point to make in early 2025 on tumblr#anyway I'm rambling now cuz I don't wanna get off my butt and go to bed#I think I'm gonna turn my thoughts into an essay#cuz apparently I have a lot of them and maybe I'm finally ready to try writing essays again#oh yeah I'm pivoting the blog idea btw#decided a regular posting schedule was too stressful#and I'm too much of a yapper#so I'm going old-school and bringing the essay back#(I don't think it went anywhere)#I might even make pamphlets or zines#I wanna do more work than a blog but less work than a book you feel me
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erm
#listen i know im stressed. i know its bc of school and the deadlines coming close bc the semester is ending etcetc.#that is all fine. i genuinely feel. okay.#the problem is. unfortunately the 'im going to kms' has become a reflex response to stress.#i cant say theyre intrusive thoughts no matter how much i want to believe that.#it would be. acceptable if they just kept being thoughts. ive been fucked for at least 4 years straight now so i can. handle. it#but :) now theyre physically impacting my body again. yay.#ive had tics (likely bc of stress) before. like a lot. and thats fine.#but these. arent that? i think? ive not been consistently ticcing for at least 2 years now i thinkk and these.#yeagh these arent tics. they are actual reflexes.#which sucks because theyre not physically harmfull aka theyre 'not bad enough' to hit the 'WTF ARE YOU DOING.' sensors.#so im just. pointing a finger gun against my temple or into my mouth by the slightest notion of uncomfyness.#and it sucks to say that. im being really brave for being open about this because. its scary.#sillyposting#its just awful to be struggling like this again.#and i know. it will be better in literally a month. i know im not doing the worst ive ever been.#but it just constantly feels like a pit ill never get out of.#ok.#im doing fine. i'll survive it like i always have.#you just think things would get better the longer you live with something.#and i know that going to the doctor isnt going to get me anything prescribed. for good reason maybe idk#i know my main point is stress from school. but what do you want me to do? quit school?? the main thing that gets me out of the house?#do i need to do even less for school than i already do? its not like im putting in 60hours a week. im barely making 10.#hm.#you know.#ok back to the struggles i guess. yay#noo ok. im fine. i am good. /gen.
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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