#it was for him (gross things; scary things; infuriating things)
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btw i genuinely believe that if you're considering having kids or you want to have kids, you need to actually try a full-time caretaking situation and see if it works. bc i love kids i LOVE hanging out with them, and i was thinking maybe one day i might want to have my own, and then i started working as a full-time caretaker for a toddler for like six months and i was like ohhhh yeah ok so i was right this is 100% not the lifestyle for me. and that was just a full time job not a 24/7 situation.
#mine#kids#the toddler in question is my brother btw so if anything this makes me even MORE sure#hes a baby im an adult eldest daughter so there's already that pre-existing familial love and the fact that#he feels more like a child than a sibling to me.#i love him more than anything i have had to do so many insane things and had absolutely no issue with them because#it was for him (gross things; scary things; infuriating things)#but i have also learned that caring for a child is 100% not something that i would be able to keep up as a lifestyle#or even WANT to much less be GOOD at#anyway. food for thought. and for the love of god please start healing before you have kids also
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Fuck marry kill Marius, David, Claudia
cw..I get very crude and make some really gross and insane jokes about ig canon typical terrible consent and abuse and stuff. Also if u like Marius or David Talbot u will not like this post 😭 I’m so sorry for this. When I first saw this ask I got SO EXCITED because I am such a huge fan of fmk especially with fictional characters it’s so fun it’s so silly it follows this train of thought that I love to go on. But then I registered who the characters were and I went “ah ok anon wants me dead” 😭😭. This is a pure nightmare scenario, this is a loss-loss, no matter what i choose it will result in me giving in to devastation and going into oncoming traffic. So bad, so bad. Anon what did I do to deserve this.. I live for it though, and tysm for sending this ask, even though thinking about this made sorrowful tears come to my eyes. Here’s my answer 😭
I think it’s really clever and uniquely cruel how you paired Claudia with these two because it forces me to choose either Marius or David Talbot to fuck (unless i want to publicly declare the character in the body of a five year old girl as the best bet for that) so thanks for that, really uniquely sadistic choice. This was difficult, it was really difficult, but I’m going to go with fuck David Talbot. We don’t have as many canonical records of his sex life as we do Marius, and the ones that may or may not exist I am blissfully unaware of because I skipped over the majority of Merrick since I can’t fucking stand David Talbot 😭 So yeah I’ll fuck him, only because I believe it would be significantly less scary then fucking Marius, who feasibly might start beating my ass at some point. I’d probably have to fake an organism if I gave a shit with David bcus he doesn’t know where the clit is (nor does he care) and would be just ramming into me like I’m his teenaged looking 1000 dollar sex doll he lost access to when he left the Talamasca that’s being studied for science now. He’d just looming over me in missionary going “oh blimey! Good god!” Periodically in between pig like grunts until he cums inside me (condom mysteriously breaks), cleans himself up while he doesn’t make eye contact, and leaves. Even still this is leagues better then fucking Marius, who has the threatening unpredictable sternness and barely restrained fury of your dad trying not to beat tf out of you while he explains your math homework to you, which honestly that energy would probably give me a panic attack half way through his sensual biting at my underarm and I’d burst into tears as he watched me with this vaguely infuriated expression at having to both decipher and comfort an inferior female if he wants to continue gyrating his tongue around my main arty until he cums his 11th pair of red pants without me kicking him in his stupid fucking high cheek bones and calling the cops. So yeah, David for fuck…
Marius I’d kill because this is something I often wish I could do in real life, and because marrying him is nightmare scenario of all time. I would literally rather eat my own ass hair. Imagine an existence of just, your freakish blonde man husband is furiously painting your asshole as your heart slams in your chest like a pray animal paralyzed in fear because if you say the wrong thing he may pull out the old whip and send u straight to god. These are the downs of your marriage, the ups are smiling and nodding passively as he explains to you in excessive but ultimately fruitless and dull textbook esc detail the complete history of Rome as your pretend that you care despite him not giving a single shit about whether or not you are enjoying this (he thinks you’re not smart enough to understand anyway). Then your nights end with a romp in the bath where he fists his entire clawed hand up ur puss as he grits his teeth and resists mauling you like an animal. You ask for him to please penetrate you so you might actually get smth out of this and he refuses and instead bitterly strokes your hairless genitals (he forces u to shave ur entire body so that ur baby smooth. he can’t be aroused by a body that looks too mature) until u miserably cum. I don’t know why anyone would want this, he’s not even hot enough to justify that. Oh god I’m talking about sex again. Anyways I’d kill marius and marry Claudia 🥰 yes I am choosing to marry the five year old die mad haters.
Claudia would be a shit wife and she wouldn’t give a single fuck about me but I’d marry her in a heartbeat before David or Marius, Jesus Christ. She’d spend all night every night spending my money on excessive shit she doesn’t need and force me to go with her most of the time because as a five year old appearing women she wouldn’t be allowed to do most things without me being there. We wouldn’t kiss or hug or have sex because I’m not into five year olds and she’s not into anyone let alone me but she would cuddle me sometimes which would be vaguely nice in the way that cuddling a cat is until u realize the cat is only using u for ur bodies warmth and is not endeared to u at all in this moment, basically that’s Claudia. Like a cat with the labor of a child who u occasionally have very interesting and intellectual conversations with when she’s not passive aggressively glaring at you over her book (she takes after her twink ass father).
anyways I hope my answer was satisfactory 😁😁😘😘 fuck David marry Claudia kill Marius ❤️ I’m inviting anyone to send me tvc related fuck marry kills, plz do so because I find them soo fun and I’m basically invincible now that I got the worst one out of the way bless
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So I decided to actually go through and point out the flaws of the logic of the post I saw regarding Hero and how it foreshadows James’s fall because I just have a mighty need to discuss it.
I still am not positive how we’re supposed to perceive any part of the song as a threat to the person it is being sung to. The post never elaborates on this point so I just really have no clue what exactly they think makes the song a “threat”. Their is a section of the song I though maybe it was referring to:
Portrayed as cruel and heartless,
I am might I am power, I'm due process, I will smite
Our enemies destroy Mettle I'll deploy
But to me the lyrics are more of a threat to anyone who would cause harm not to the person being sung to. Again it’s hard to really argue with their argument as we don’t get much more then “Trust me I said so” so I am just kind of having to guess here for that particular part. But that section is what I would call the most “threatening” portion that feels very obviously directed towards Salem in his mind and the unseen threat to the listener.
Their is also an oh so convenient skipping over of what I find to be the most powerful part of the song: I would die Without regret, I'd offer up my life With zero reservations I would fly Into the sun, if that would keep our dream alive
Deliver you from harm Shelter in my arms The fear will surely fade Know right now the plan I made will guide us home We'll survive this storm
It is also important to note that this section is where the song start off in Gravity. The very first words of Hero most people heard where “I would die” we see James fighting Watts and a song that is James’s song declaring his willingness to die if it meant keeping people safe. Those are the first words we see from the song meant to be a gateway into James’s mind, a willingness to die for the dream, and an assurance that he will keep you safe and that somehow they will make it through the darkness and find the light again. Somehow you have convinced yourself that that is somehow a threat and mimicking the villains?
I- I have no words. You literally acknowledge this section is the damn chorus, the section of the song that is supposed to repeat and are now trying to insist it is an obsessive mantra. Trying to argue the chorus is an obsessive mantra makes no damn sense at all. It’s taking something that is in most songs and trying to make it into something it is not. Here is how the chorus is defined: Chorus. The chorus is the big payoff and climax of the song. It's also where the verse and pre-chorus have been reduced to a simple repeated sentiment.
So in this case, the climax, the payoff and sentiment the song wants you to walk away with can be broken down to Ironwoods strong desire to protect people, a willingness to put himself in extreme danger and suffer extreme harm to do so, and an assurance to hang in their a little longer. Which reads as they initially correctly pointed out, a comforting gesture meant to reassure the listener that no matter how bad or scary things seem, they will survive, they will make it through and be okay. That’s not an obsessive mantra, it’s an assurance, a promise.
This is truly a gross misreading of the text in volume 7 it’s actually infuriating. It wasn’t about just “Keeping Atlas afloat” Salem, the person hellbent on ending the world whom he just discovered is immortal was heading straight for Atlas and they had no plan to deal with her. He was traumatized and triggered and terrified what happened to Beacon would happen to Atlas and knew she wanted to end the world. Yes, he was going to leave behind those trapped on Mantel but them dying? Is still Salem’s fault. She is the one killing people. She is the one who is willing to do anything to get what she wants and what she wants is to end the world and Atlas is currently housing literally half if the items she needs to do that. Trying to make sure she doesn’t get those items isn’t him focusing on just trying to keep Atlas afloat its about trying to keep the whole damn world from dying.
Yes,, James does some horrific things in volume 8, I won’t pretend that is not the case, the issue is it happens far to quickly and in a way that is not only extremely out of character but also is extremely ableist and harmful. But reassuring someone who reasonably would be terrified and unsure if they can survive the storm that they will make it is not an obsessive craze to “protect”. No one accuses the mains of being obsessed with being Heroes, people just say they are trying to protect people. So trying to twist James into some man obsessed with Atlas just really doesn’t work especially given the lyrics of the song.
This section is an odd one because that line is literally a callback to a comment James made back in volume 2 towards Ozpin asking him if he thinks his children can win a war and Ozpin sadly saying he hopes they won’t. It was an ideological conflict wherein James has faith in his Atlesian Knights taking over the battlefield, Ozpin seems to be more content with the status quo. James recognizes how dangerous being a hunter is and sees a lot of people dying from it and thinks they need a new way of dealing with the Grimm that minimized people on the battlefield. We also did see in volume 2 James is willing to listen to other people and follow their plans instead. James wanted to send his army to investigate Mount Glenn, Ozpin wanted to send team RWBY and James follows his lead and lets him send team RWBY which leads to a complete disaster. The WF just moves their plan forward and invades Vale and sends everyone into a panic and leads to a lot of destruction of the city. But also, this section is kind of trying to be miseading, “I’ve made my plan” is the ending of the verse that goes:
What if it's true as they say That I don't have a heart That I'm more a machine than a man? What would that change Would it matter at all? I've made my plan
The I’ve made my plan section is referencing back to the section where James is wondering, am I a monster? Am I just being heartless and cruel? Before disregarding the fear and reminding himself more then anything that he has a plan, he knows what he’s doing and regardless of what people say that won’t change his course of action because he believes it can keep people safe.
I actually sat down and listened to Sacrifice for this post and I just am not seeing what they are implying here in Sacrifice. With how many people I’ve seen say it I imagine their is something that is just not clicking lolz and I’d love to hear other peoples thoughts on this. The only thing that maybe would work is this little section here:
What if all the plans you made
Where not worth the price they paid
That section I can kind of see, in Hero it mentions having a plan and Sacrifice questions if the plan is worth the price which again, I do think Volume 7 introduced a trolley problem which both sides had a high price, one that should not have to be paid but one Salem was going to take no matter what any party did and the decision came down to more what was the least awful price to pay which is not an easy question to answer nor a rabbit hole I intend on exploring in this post.
Back to the point I really really do not understand how they could walk away from Hero thinking James is mimicking Salem, the person responsible for his severe trauma. The song has brief mentions about how emotions can get in the way of doing what needs to be done which in some ways is true. Emotions can cloud peoples judgement and keep them from seeing clearly. You can’t completely ignore your emotions like James toys with in volume 7 but that scene always read to me as a traumatized person trying to emotionally work through everything that happened and kind of wishing he didn’t have to feel all of those complicated feelings he’s dealing with which....I honestly get. I imagine most of us have things in our lives that cause us pain, things we wish we didn’t have to feel and wish we could make go away. That doesn’t make us, or James, like the villains for feeling those things.
The whole “Casting doubt on RWBY + JNRO thing is a continuing problem within the FNDM. They simultaneously insist we can’t be too critical of them because “they’re just kids” while also trying to insist they are the only ones who can save the world and we shouldn’t doubt them because they aren’t kids. The narrative can’t seem to make up its mind on what it’s trying to say about them in regards to whether they are adults who can be trusted to handle these things or if they’re just uwu sad kids and its oh so sad they have to fight. We cannot have it both ways, either they are kids who shouldn’t have to fight a war, or they are adults who can make their own choices. The arc we see James go on is one wherein he does see the students as kids who shouldn’t have to be fighting this war but also recognizes they have to and seeing how RWBY has grown and all that they have endured and recognizes they can handle the heavy responsibility of being huntress’s when he gives them their licenses. The line is just a callback to volume 2 and you my dude are reading way to much into it lolz. (also I hate to break it to you but the rabbit hole is not that deep. CRWBY just is constantly throwing spaghetti at the wall and praying something sticks and the FNDM is falling for it.)
The point being, it is so frustrating seeing people not taking Hero, a song which James declares he is willing to die to save people, is willing to suffer extreme pain and harm to stop Salem followed by him willingly searing the flesh off of his own arm to stop Watts, and say it shows he is a villain.
We can see here how much pain he is in as he is doing this. He has to stop and he grabs his arm in pain because it hurts so much and understandably so. It’s agonizing but he tries.
Some people think here he’s even starting to go into shock from the shear agony of what he is trying to do, but he does it anyways. He pushes through the unbearable pain because he knows what will happen if he doesn’t. His song is called Hero because in this moment, he was being a true hero in a scene that none of the mains have come even close to matching. Hero is about a man fighting to try and keep the world from ending and reassuring the people looking up to him that they can do it, they just have to hold on.
#RWDE#Pro Ironwood#Pro James Ironwood#General ironwood#General Dadmiral#Dadmiral Ironwood#James Ironwood
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Rating Books I’ve Read This Year So Far
(No one asked for this but in order to be free you must first be cringe.)
Of note is that these are all the horror genre because nothing else hits.
RING by Koji Suzuki
A hood classic of course. Loses some points because it starts at a crawl and doesn’t really improve from that pace for a good while, and the main character’s friend isn’t very likable (He’s not a token “annoying friend in a horror story” character, but I can’t explain him being unlikable without a slight spoiler)
8.5/10 A bit dated but I recognize that a lot of “tropes” hadn’t been done before and some of the parts about Sadako herself are just a product of the time and country from which the work originates. Solid and I completely understand how it laid the groundwork for a horror icon
—
Cows by Matthew Stokoe: I miss the person I was before I read this. I will not be taking the plunge into “extreme horror” ever again and “splatterpunk” books are off the table. A lot of this is gross in the intrusive thought way and I don’t mean the meme intrusive thoughts but ACTUAL intrusive thoughts. I have a strong stomach so I never gagged or anything but honestly? If I respected books a little less I would’ve burned this after I finished reading it. Instead it sits on my shelf as a monument to never having to read it again. 😌 I suppose I cannot rate it just one way because it wouldn’t be fair
Enjoyment: -100/10 As someone who has seen REAL GORE and worse, I was “what the fuck”-ing the entire way through and felt genuinely dirty. Not in a “whoa, good horror!” way. In a “is the author okay?” way. Also I think the author hates fat people or at least his portrayal of the main character’s mother (named only as “The Hagbeast” for the entire book) certainly makes it seem so.
Dead Dove Principle: 10/10 “Well, I dunno what I expected.”
—
The Vegetarian by Han Kang: classed as horror but it’s not scary, the horror is in how tragically sad everything is and makes really good use of Korean societal norms and taboos as a vehicle for it all. The arguments are genuinely infuriating due to both hypocrisy and an obsession with control because (spoiler) somehow your daughter scarcely eating due to gruesome nightmares is more shameful than trying to force feed her meat after she wouldn’t touch anything at the family dinner because everything on the table is animal products.
7/10 Starts slow but with the interest of taking place from the titular vegetarian’s husband’s point of view. The point of view of a man who hates his wife. Not that he would ever SAY he hates his wife, but whenever this man speaks about his wife it is only to talk about things he dislikes about her or things he’s ambivalent to but wishes she was more like other women about. By his own (internal monologue) admission this man is with a woman he finds so mediocre because he recognizes that he himself is MID. (If this is setting off red flags for you, the author is a woman.)
—
Winterset Hollow by Jonathan Edward Durham: Surprisingly not too graphic even though there is violence and of course death depicted. I actually appreciate that a lot because the story not dwelling on the manner of a death really does reinforce that while there is personal stake in it for the characters doing the killing, it’s not a thoughtless murder spree. It’s a hunt.
7.5/10 Main characters were likable even if it was a slow roll, only really picking up in the last act. Kills were…efficient. Antagonists were actually very sympathetic and while their anger is 90% misdirected I won’t say it’s misguided.
—
House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
9/10 HOO BOY this one took me a good while. First, to work up the courage to crack it open. Then it was a slog to start because the entire prologue is just about Johnny Truant who is at certain points the weakest part of the story.
There’s lots of ado about nothing, I must admit I started skimming his sections the further in I got because, sir, this is a Wendy’s Drive-Thru. There’s only so many times I want to hear about your day drinking, doing drugs or getting your dick wet. (A lot of his later writings also read like they were written by a person who’s completely hammered.)
He is a vital part, however, because the book itself is practically an ARG and once you actually get into The Navidson Record proper, Johnny’s footnotes help kind of ground it, and LORD do you need grounding with how trippy things get.
Certainly not for everyone, not just because of the length and formatting, but because there’s layers to the suspension of disbelief required, and while I personally like media this dream-like, not everyone is going to enjoy that sort of thing.
—
The Troop by Nick Cutter
6/10 This one was…really tame, to be honest? It took a LONG time for me to give a shit about any of these characters, (I honestly can’t tell if the characters are supposed to be likable) largely because the main cast is 4 teenage boys from a small town. And they act like it. I think I was supposed to feel sorry Kent because of how miserable he was in the end but…he acted like a teenage boy raised by a cop and it IS his own fault that he died. Ephraim was kinda my favorite of the group because he had probably the least egregious personality although Max was fine and Newton was just a fella.
(It does earn points for getting me to dry heave at the description of a character hacking up a “scallop of worms and mucus” and rolling it around in his mouth. Intrusive thoughts had me looping that imagery in my brain and I actually put the book down for a sec because I couldn’t stop gagging. I gagged while typing that out, too. Nice one.)
#The Vegetarian by Han Kang#Cows by Matthew Stokoe#Ring by Koji Suzuki#Winterset Hollow by Jonathan Edward Durham#House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski#The Troop by Nick Cutter
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wait wait i have an idea :0
how about about a reader (GN or male, your choice) who's in the badminton club and like, they're really fond of tendou but because they're really awkward, they never approach and opt to staring from afar. it ticks tendou off and he builds up the courage to ask the reader about it (while planning to intimidate them cause he thinks they dont like him) but when the reader actually tells him how they feel, tendou just stands there for a few seconds before going "oh" and his face is just full on red.
hhskshsjshs can you tell ive been having tendou brainrot lately?
Hate Me
Warnings - cursing, tendou doesn't like you at first :(
Note: Totaly wasn't qorking on this on and off all day and hating the way it came out...haha...who would ever... Anywho, I trust Tendou simps
Male Reader
It's not easy to tick off Tendou Satori.
He's always considered himself a people guy ever since he became a middle blocker. Every now and again he can get scary on the court, sure, but it's not like he's mean or disdainful.
Sardonic, sure. Cynical, sarcastic, monstrous, even satirical sometimes. Hot tempered though, that was one that could never really apply to him.
Even on the extra special occasion that he does harbour a dislike for someone, he wouldn't expect it to be some awkward passive guy on the badminton club.
🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡
"Tendou, you are glaring again," Ushijima casually points out.
Tendou, (startled), looks up at Ushijima from where he had his head in his hands. "Was not," he muttered, childishly putting his head back over top of his crossed arms. He definitely was, but for the sake of his own pride he decided not to disclose that information to his best friend.
Ushijima didn't say anything else.
In Tendou's mind, his innate dislike of you was justified. You were always just...staring at him. At the beginning it didn't make him to angry. He just thought you were zoning out in his direction. That's not a bad assumption, after all he's seen it in others before.
That didn't last long though. The longer it went on, the more Tendou realized that you weren't just gazing in his direction on accident. To make matters worse, the frown and conflicted look in your face made it seem like you had it out for him.
Maybe he thought that you were like those kids in grade school, (though he doesn't care too much anymore), or maybe you harboured a deeper dislike of him as a person. Whatever it was, Tendou was not having it.
While Tendou had his death glare on you, you were biting the inside of your lip with furrowed brows. This was one of the few times you didn't have your eyes on him, which of course Tendou took as an invitation to glare through your soul.
You weren't sure of just what you were doing wrong.
After all, Tendou seemed like an easy going guy! That's sort of why you took to admiring him in the first place. (The other reason is that you couldn't think of any way to actually interact with him). You didn't really know how to say it, but you were...fond of him. You liked his hair and his extroverted nature and how good he is at his sport. You really just want to cuddle with him and do all those sappy-gross couple things.
It was infuriating how hard it was! You have been so close to talking to him before, so close. You, on three separate occasions, have devised a plan to talk to him and be all charming, earning his affections in the process. Woo the pretty guy, score a boyfriend, get to cuddle with him so that you no longer feel weird thinking about it alone at night.
Of course, those three plans never really went through and you chickened out. At least you tried, right? It's the thought that counts. In any occasion, you were pretty sure that you'd never be able to tell him.
So Tendou decided to take matters into his own lanky hands!
...By intimidating the shit out of you and hoping you'd be too scared to continue looking at him.
You two are really two sides of the same coin at this point.
🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡
Ushijima didn't agree with the plan.
To which, of course, Tendou replied "You don't need to Wakatoshi-kun!"
Again Ushijima didn't push the matter further. He may not be the brightest, but he does understand when someone's a fan and when they don't like you. You were very clearly a fan, but in the true spirit of friendship, Ushijima allowed Tendou to figure it out by himself.
Truth be told, Tendou's 'plan' wasn't really a plan. His genius plan, (much different from yours), was to be as scary as possible to deter you from looking at him any further. Clean and simple, no problems, issue resolved and life back to normal.
What he hadn't counted on however, was how this plan had him stalking around the badminton club room in the dark like a weirdo. His club had just ended, and by all reasoning, yours should also be over by now. He didn't really know if you were going to go to the club room, but he can wait.
And wait he did for near ten minutes.
You didn't see him at first, which was surprising considering how freakishly tall he is. You were just trying to put your racket away, though that simple mindset was quickly tarnished when you heard someones footsteps a little too close you your back to be safe. You narrowed your eyes. It was getting old how much your friends tried to scare you.
Turning around though, you didn't see the grinning face of your friend. Instead, you were greeted by glinting red eyes.
You froze up.
Tendou somehow looked even more terrifying than when he was on the court. "Tendou...san?" Your voice came out softer, weaker than you would have liked. Tendou reached to turn on the light, (finally). He seemed less like a horror movie killer and more like a high school bully now.
"What are you doing?" You nervously shuffled your feet.
"The better question," Tendou's glare hardened. He leaned closer to your face. "Is what the hell you've been getting at?"
"What?" You looked obviously confused. More confused than he would like.
"Don't act like you don't know," Tendou rolled his eyes and stepped closer, herding you back into the wall.
You put your hands up. "Know what?"
He huffed. "What's your problem with me?"
"I don't- I don't have a problem with you."
"Sure."
"It's true!" You bit your bottom lip, attempting not to stammer. In your defense, it was rather hard to keep a cool head here. Tendou was way closer to you than he'd ever been in the past. His body heat, (surprisingly warm, you noticed), was melting any resolve you had like an ice cube in his pale hands.
"I just really- really like you! Y'know, what with your...everything, really." You nervously trailed off under his gaze. You couldn't really say that you wanted to tape his fingers before his games, or be able to wear his jersey in the stands. That'd be weird.
Tendou, on the other hand, looked like he'd just walked in on someone changing. You just said what you thought he said, right?
He, red in the face, stammered out an "oh."
You smiled at him softly, nerves jumping into your throat. You just told him. Then your face fell. You just told him. Truth be told, the look of utter despair on your face to him was...kind of cute. Which he understands might be a weird thing to say, but it was true.
You chuckled. "I'm, uh, (l/n). We should get properly introduced."
He shook his head and held out his hand. "Satori. Uh- Tendou. Tendou...Satori."
You chuckled. "I know."
🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡
"Tendou, stop moving around so much," you rolled your eyes back playfully.
"Sorry sorry," he huffed.
You continued to work on the tape around his fingers, a determined look playing across your face. Tendou sighed dreamily, his eyes shifting to look at his jacket over your shoulders. After all, you were his boyfriend. You expect him not to admire you every chance he got?
Thank god Ushijima didn't tell him.
#hq x male reader#m!reader#anime x male reader#male reader#x male reader#haikyuu x male reader#tendou satori x male reader#tendou x male reader
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Take Me to Funkytown!
____
Yellow Temperance proves to be a great enemy to Jotaro. Without much of an aid there to assist the teen, he hasn’t much of a choice but to fight for his life. After trying to burn and freeze temperance off of his finger, hope is lost. At least, until an odd individual dances their way into the fight. Ally or enemy? Temperance and Jotaro are unsure.
Jotaro x fem!Reader [Platonic One-shot]
Italics = the music
Word Count: 1,564 Warning(s): Violence, swearing, negligence, bit of social isolation, intense grooving, swearing again, gross horny man tries hitting on reader, I did not re-read __ Blame It on the Boogie! __
You were mostly just touring Singapore for your own personal reasons. You had nothing else to do and you got bored quickly. So, you packed your bags and left for Singapore. You had the essentials; clothes, personal hygiene products, and your Walkman cassette player and headphones. The flights over were smooth as could be. Not like you noticed much anyhow. Most of the time, you had your headphones on, listening to the several cassettes you also had brought in your bag. Since you’d left, you’d made 0 social interactions with other humans. That didn’t bother you in the least. You didn’t necessarily care much for making friends along the way. In fact, you dreaded when people would talk to you. They were annoying, quite frankly. So you would drown out the voices with your music. The only problem was that you would get sick of listening to the same songs over and over again. The perks of traveling were being able to try out new music from places around the world.
Your thoughts were mostly blank while you peered out of the train window at the city you were approaching. “Hey pretty lady~!”
A man’s voice quickly pierced the air around you. But you couldn’t hear him over your loud music. He noticed that quickly and took this as a sign to sit right next to you. “What’s a girl like you sitting all by yourself?”
You scooted away from him once you noticed he had sat next to you. Your smiling expression quickly turned into a frustrated one. You couldn’t hear the man, but his presence alone made you uncomfortable. You became infuriated when you felt his hand remove your headphones. “C’mon girl, don’t-”
You didn’t let him finish as you summoned your Stand, and sent it lunging at the man. Your Stand, Ace’s Wand, representing the tarot card Ace of Wands, was a Stand with the form that could vary depending on your mood and the sounds in the air. With you angry without music, your Stand took on a horrifying form that you could barely comprehend. The noises it made as well were scary. All you could see was the body of the annoying man getting flung like a ragdoll. His body was crumpled like a piece of paper on the other end of the train.
You scoffed, grabbed your headphones, and returned to your position. Your music continued and your site seeing went on. Everyone was scared and confused as they surrounded the man in concern. “Won’t you take me to Funkytown?” You bobbed your head to the beat while everyone whispered in a hushed and terrified tone.
***
The train ride turned into a cableway ride. You sat in a cable car with a man, his kid, and their dog. The kid happily snacked on his popsicle as he enjoyed the view from the car. You were doing the same, except you were listening to your music instead of snacking on a popsicle. Looking out the window, you noticed a guy on a cylindrical shaped building that was tall enough to reach the height of the cable car. It was an odd sight for sure, you even gave him a confused squint. You noticed his sights landing on your cable car. You blinked a couple of times. Your eyes quickly widened when you saw him back up, then charge forth towards your car.
“Oh shit!” You whispered loudly. The teen landed on the car and clutched to the side you had been viewing from. You noticed a purple figure emerge from him and rip the door off the car. Things only got weirder. The man peered at you, then turned his attention to the kid with the popsicle.
“Hey kid, I am gonna need to use this.” The kid began to cry until the teen spoke again, “Alright, I’ll buy you a new popsicle when we reach the ground.”
The kid nodded, and the tall teen rose back to his height. Your headphones had been knocked off during the impact of the teen crashing into the car. You hardly noticed, even hearing the teen talk and hearing yourself talk. “Whoa! What an entrance! What the hell are you doing?” You blurted out.
“Is this your kid, lady?” The black haired teen asked.
“What? Hell no.”
“Then shut up and enjoy the view.”
Your brows furrowed at that statement. It was of annoyance, but then it turned into confusion when you noticed the yellow blob on the teen’s hand. Just what was going on? You could only ask this as the teen pressed the cold treat onto the yellow substance, wincing in pain in the process as the gross yellow jello spiked and stabbed into his hand. Things only escalated when another presence began to enter the cable car through the door that the teen had rudely ripped off. The presence was similar to the substance on the teenager’s hand, except larger and with another person inside.
“Can’t you get it through your thick skull?” The deep male voice spoke in a taunting manner that sent shivers down your own spine. “My Stand, Yellow Temperance, is indestructible! No matter how much power you may have, you cannot beat my Stand!”
Well shit. It means you’ve found yourself in a Stand battle. You found yourself even more infuriated than before on the train. The black haired teen referred to as Jotaro had ripped a pole from the car and tried to swing it at Yellow Temperance. It wasn't just Jotaro, though. It was his Stand, a large purple humanoid entity that was clearly fast and strong. Angered, you put on your headphones and stood up. It was as the Stand projected itself onto Jotaro and the cable car that things got weird.
Jotaro and the user of Yellow Temperance were now looking at you. Your expression was scrunched up and you could feel the heat rising. With the beat of your music, you had better control of your Stand. "Don't blame it on the sunshine!"
You moved with the rhythm and summoned your Stand without further comment. "Don't blame it on the moonlight."
"Holy shit!" Temperance's user yelled in horror as his eyes laid on your Stand. You could barely make that out with your music as loud as it is.
"What the hell!" Jotaro also exclaimed, but not as loud. Based on Temperance's reaction, it clued him in on the fact that you are clearly not with him. A relief, but also, you aren't with the Joestars.
"Don't blame it on the good times." Just as Temperance was about to latch onto you, you sent out your Stand first. "Blame it on the-!" "BOOGIE!" Your Stand screeched as it went up against the yellow Stand.
The enemy user only screamed as he witnessed your Stand vigorously and aggressively stabbing and digging through his sludge. Even while your Stand could make contact with his, it couldn't be said that the situation could be switched around. Your Stand's form was horrifying in itself, but the idea that his Stand with no weaknesses couldn't touch your Stand was just as terrifying.
Jotaro realized the opportunity he had now. The enemy had even panicked and removed his Stand from Jotaro. He wasn't even paying attention to Jotaro anymore. You knew why. The fear was overwhelming. You are the greater threat at the moment to him. You bore your eyes into Jotaro, telling him to make his move if he wants it. Your Stand was slowly making its way closer and closer to the user with its claws. Just as your Stand was about to make it to the enemy, with him sobbing, Jotaro used his Stand's fist to punch the user and knock him unconscious. Your Ace's Wand stopped mere inches away from The Temperance card holder. Your Stand emitted a sickly wheeze of laughter before being de-manifested. You were still grooving to the song, though.
"This magic music grooves me! That dirty rhythm moves me! The devil's gotten to me through this dance!"
Jotaro was unsure of how to communicate with you. That uncertainty was cleared up, though, when you yourself removed your ear buds and spoke.
"Hey! Jotaro right?" You chuckled, pointing at him. Jotaro nodded, knowing you had caught his name in the fight. "That was pretty cool. We should do that again sometime."
"What?" Is all Jotaro could murmur in confusion as response to your suggestion.
"I'm [Y/N] [L/N]." Your pointing finger turned into an open palm hand to shake Jotaro's. "I'm a Stand user, too. Not like.." You looked down at the unconscious and shirtless man at your feet. "...him, though. I'm cool, like you."
Jotaro hated women who fawned over him. Most of the female students who crowded him referred to him as "cool," as well. Hearing you say it, though, was different. It wasn't of lust or love like those ladies at school. It was of genuine friendship and curiosity.
"That's.. Great." Jotaro said, extending his hand out and shaking yours. "Hey, I have a question…"
"Go ahead and shoot!" You shook his hand and returned yours to your side.
"Could you join us on our mission to Egypt?" Jotaro is well versed in being blunt and very straightforward. Not that you would know that.
You paused and processed what he had said. " "Our...?" Mission..? Egypt!?"
___
E N D.
A/N: AAAA! This has been sitting in my docs for sooo long! I had no idea where to take it and how to end it. Finally figured it out though! Apologies if it seems rushed or half-assed. This one is very similar to the In With A Bang one-shot. Introducing a character in that fashion. Also, In With A Bang has reached over 100 notes!! That's fuckin bonkers! Please go give it a read if you haven't! I promise it's better than this one, lol!
#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojo part 3#stardust crusaders#writing#reader insert#x reader#insert reader#jotaro kujo#jotaro x reader#oneshot#jotaro x you#jotaro x y/n#platonic
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Super sexy aa7 ideas that will never happen
*puts on my clown shoes
Themes: “the worst times are when lawyers have to smile their brightest, but you can’t be a lawyer 24/7” “sometimes (esp now) the system is WRONG”
CASE 1
Klavier Gavin prosecutes, because society has progressed beyond needing Paynes
And if the widespread complaint is that he’s too nice, this position is perfect
Make a witty remark abt feeling demoted >:(
Athena and Trucy dream team girls
Murder took place at a theater/has something to do with acoustics, to ~fit the characters~
Maybe Lamiroir was there 👀
Phoenix is once again a witness, but hes less infuriating. But still fucking funny infuriating
He mentions his college degree, vaguely. Pressing him reveals nothing.
Also address that TRUCY AND KLAVIER PROBABLY HAVE SOME TRAUMA FROM MURDERS AT THEIR PERFORMANCES
Defend a rando
The twist: the murder only could’ve been committed by someone with superhuman hearing, so Athena’s senses are vital here!!
End: the culprit tries to psychologically fuck with everyone, but Athena stays strong, maybe uses some noise cancelling headphones, and corners the SHIT out of them
Also, there’s a new judge. A higher judge than your normal judge, who is a boomer. BOOMER JUDGE
Post-trial: a comment about all them missing Apollo…
CASE 2
Athena vs Franziska von Karma
Athena calls her out on the whipping if that’s still a thing
[Maybe Trucy is there again for extra spice,,,] but Solo Thena would be EPIC
NEW FRANZISKA DESIGN
Maybe we can bring Maya back here, but NOT ACCUSE HER FOR MURDER
Or accuse her at the scene but quickly disprove it
Idk also address her trauma
Wow this is turning into ATHENA CYKES- ACE THERAPIST
Put Simon there too because he’s hilarious
Maybe him and Maya are casually attending Comic-Con for the Steel Samurai panel
Defendant: some toxic celebrity with DRAMA
the twist: the murderer was targeting several high-profile ppl, but only killed like. A janitor instead. They aren’t found OR arrested, but you get a not guilty by… indicting their accomplice. And it HURTS but you have to or its your not-guilty kinda-a-dick client that gets guilty
New judge plays by the written rules, so u can’t ague ur case
Franziska is skeptical of the Accomplice’s guilt, but she lets the verdict go because your client is innocent.
Athena cries to Phoenix about how she feels like she fricked up b/c she empathizes with the accomplice but also everyone, Phoenix does his best dad comfort—this is the truth that’s allowed in the confines of their court system.
CASE 3
NARUMITSU DATE
Open with a call from Maya. She loudly thanks the god/the holy mother for this
MURDER!!! AT THE VENUE
Kay and Sebastian are there
GUMSHOEEEEE (OLDER SPRITE??? Higher salary?? Maggey too?)
Classic Wright vs Edgeworth
All the options are flirty
Everything is an innuendo
Trucy co-council is embarrassed by ur Old Man Flirting (NEW SPRITES)
Lampshade conflict of interest what with dating opposing council. Gloss over it completely
Phoenix’s college degree is vaguely mentioned to be helping him. This is Not elaborated on
The murder is some crazy shit that basically parodies the whole series
TWO SETS OF EVIL TWINS
3 cross poisonings and with INTERESTING results of chemicals mixing (Ema: 👀)
All the dying messages were faked
Handedness contradiction.
Some gross old guy appears, but you can punch him
The murder weapon goes from bloody knife with defendants fingerprints on it to glass shards of a broken bottle to an icicle to an overly spikey piece of hair
EXTRATERRITORIAL RIGHTS
For extra funnies: BOOMER JUDGE IS NOT USED TO THIS. They are the straight person of this comedy clown case.
For extra feels (the twist): Phoenix actually has an emotional breakdown on one of the investigation days. Maybe Trucy gets put at risk again, or something with poisoning, or even something with Kay or Seb (to show how much Phoenix cares, in general) and we address all the shit that he’s gone thru
Awkward comforting by miles
HUG SPRITE/ART
CASE 4
(shoves Klavier into Khura’in) GO FAKEGERMANBOY GO
Play as Apollo (khura’inese clothes sprites)
KLAVIER CO-COUNCIL (CASUAL SPRITES?? Put his hair up in a bun capcom im begging)
ADRESS AA4
Maybe at the end of one investigation, theres just. A heartfelt talk.
Ok ill make it heavy (b/c if its lighthearted these fuckos will never talk about their feelings)
LAMIROIR IS HERE TOO??
TRUCY ALSO- im sorry truce im shoving you everywhere because I want you to develop
maybe she and Klavier are like, performer bros
Apollo is happy that Trucy is but also feels alienated, like AA6 totally pulled him from his AA4 roots [COUGH]
CASUAL TRUCY SPRITE??? I would cry capcom
Nahyuta, Rayfa, and Apollo being awkward but trying (and mostly succeeding) siblings, Amara being a scary but p good queen momther
FRANZISKA INTERNATIONAL PROSECUTING??? Idk it’d be epic tho
She roasts Klavier so bad
Though he is very smart so she just roasts his terrible German
Resolve the Gramarye siblings here?
Include something with gender dysphoria to contrast how they butchered Robin Newman???
This is huge headcanon territory here tho
The Twist: realizing that this case cannot POSSIBLY be resolved in 3 fucking days. Also that Apollo is so backlogged that hes stressed and he probably needs help
Also someone tries to frame Klavier with his Gavinners-brand shoeprints
End: answer yes/no to Klavier working at Justice Law Offices. The choice affects his dialogue with Apollo in 7-5
CASE 5
Some fuckin. International level scandal
Elaborate on whatever the fuck “the phantom” was spying for? btw is the same that the culprits froms 7-2 and 7-4. maaybe 7-1?
And it involves MORE AUDITORIUMS
Open w/ calling Trucy, whos in the states. She mentions that Klavier casually got a Japanifornian defense attorney badge. Cue exasperation/fondness/incredulity (I promise this is relevant)
In Khura’in
Starts small- like a robbery, which leads to an attempt on Thalassa’s life. Again
Athena gets to therapy her
Then someone high-profile actually fucking dies
Athena (co-council Apollo) vs FINAL BOSS FRANZISKA
Lots of investigating with them
Talk about space center and grief
The twist: a person with low emotional output is framed, but they are innocent because LOWER EMOTIONAL REACTIONS DOESN’T MAKE YOU FUCKING EVIL
The other twist: Bring in 7-2 framed person for a character witness, show that they’re innocent. Athena is panicking because of Fear(?) so Apollo is determined to Do Something, and points out how this only happened because the system is Stupid and calls Klavier and Trucy
BECAUSE:
At the same time, there’s a stateside investigation. some botched, continued interreference at the Space Station
Klavier can pull an Edgeworth and investigate with Trucy
With parently narumitsu
Klavier talks about Apollo a lot, Trucy calls him out on it
Nahyuta is prosecuting this case
Depending on the relations between Klavier and Nahyuta established in 7-4, this will be hilarious or disastrous
Protective Yuty route: makes scathing comments about petty parts of Klavier- a petty-off
Teasing Yuty route: brings it up whenever Klavier talks about Apollo. Rlly funny banter. Klavier showing more human emotions sprites!!
Revisit the Space Center and get emo. Simon is here, arguing with Nahyuta
Because the cases go to trial simultaneously, the comment about the wrong conviction in 7-2 can be brought to the Japanifornian courts by Klavier and Trucy
They argue that Athena was forced to do that to spare an innocent and press HARD for legal reform
They call in Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth for reforms??
They also start a twitter war (that can be investigation minigame) and get public opinion up abt it
Yuty vouches for change, w/ khura’in as evidence
SO AA4 CAN GET KINDA RESOLVED!!
DUNK ON BOOMER JUDGE
BONUS: CASE 6: TURNABOUT CHILLOUT
Phoenix vs Franziska
Larry time
Scruffy time
Idk man. No more international stuff, just good old fashioned cleaning up ur shitty dad’s messes amiright
Resolve things with the Shelly card?
oldbag cameo but you file a restraining order
help trucy and pearls with college
TLDR: Athena actually tracks an international conspiracy that has weight, the AJ gang once again changes the system, Phoenix gets emotional resolution, Franziska helps international stuff AND gets emotional resolution, and i finally stop trying to throw hands with capcom.
#ace attorney#aa7#athena cykes#franziska von karma#narumitsu#now that ive got my cheeseball tags out of the way!#*cries*#trucy wright#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#klavier gavin#apollo justice#klapollo#kinda#and miles is in this even LESS than nick but i dont want phoenix tag to get lonely#oops accidental aj2 kinda
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Arrangements Ch 1
Title: Arrangements. Chapter Title: It’s just a little crush.
Pairing: Lim Sejun x Reader. Mentions of Choi Byungchan and non mentions of Do Hanse, Heo Chan, Kang Seungsik, Han Seungwoo and Jun Subin as well as OC’s.
Summary: He was the aggravating fuckboy roommate of your best friends but maybe that’s what caused you to agree to such an arrangement. But will the arrangement work out? Between mutual friends, his other hookups and a certain romantic interest on your part, this could all be trouble.
Words: 6,500
Rating: PG13 but will eventually become M
Genre for this Chapter: College! au, Angst.
Tags/Warnings: Drinking, Mentions of sexual scenarios, mentions of possible drug use (a roofie), Mentions of someone possibly wanting to take advantage of someone (While Nothing happens I need to put this as a warning as it can trigger some past experiences readers have had)
Fic Series inspired Playlist Link:
Taglist: @a-mess-of-fandoms @dnyad
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You hated Lim Sejun and his band of one night stands. Before anybody assumes it’s a case of “oh she has it bad for him and she’s just jealous” you were in no way into him like that and in no way jealous of the Grey haired man you dubbed ‘FookBoi’ nor his female companions. He simply cramped your style.
When he moved into your best friends apartment as a third roommate you thought you’d have the same dynamic with your friends that you had had for about a year before his sudden appearance. But you were sorely mistaken.
It was Friday night and you had your body sprawled over the deep grey fabric of the couch with your sock covered feet lying on your best friend Do Hanses blanket covered lap. Byungchan had occupied the black leather like single seat to your right and you all were currently debating on whether or not twins were creepy. The debate brought to you by you all watching The Shining once again.
“How could you even think twins are creepy? It’s clearly just the matching outfits with the head tilting that eludes to the creepy factor” you were thrown into a fit of laughter as Hanse imitated the twin’s expression when Johnny first saw them, his lip ring glinting in the soft shadows of the single lit lamp to his right. Byungchans dimples were on full display as he couldn’t help but laugh as well. You really did try not to blush at his adorable face. You had a thing for one of your best friends and you couldn’t help it, your small crush had existed for around 8 months are you knew it was a matter of time before it was known.
You were admiring his soft contours of his face down to his defined jawline and back up to lip plump lips curled upward around his teeth as his focus was still on Hanses face when the front door slammed open causing you three to jump in surprise. Hanse grabbed your feet as if to use your unicorn print covered appendages to shield himself from the big scary monster he assumed had not only come through his front door but also used a key.
As you tore your gaze away from the man you had been admiring you looked up to see Lim Sejun walking passed the back of the couch with some blonde traipsing her body on his ebony leather jacket covered shoulder. He threw you a smirk as he had undoubtedly witnessed your admiration for his roommate. “Enjoy your movie” was all that left his lips before you heard a woman’s giggle and the closing of his door followed by a hard thump.
Pulling your feet back to your body you crossed your soft cotton short covered legs and snatched a fist full of buttery salty popcorn from the shared bowl in the center of the dark wooden coffee table situated in front of you. Hanse pulled the off white blanket closer to his body and used a black nail polish covered finger to press play on your movie. As you took another bite full of popcorn your munching was cut short by a woman moaning a loud “Unngh yes Daddy” Choking on the salty kernels your face took on a sour expression and you turned to see Hanse grimace and Byungchan blush a bright crimson followed by a shake of his head.
The sounds of what started as a soft mumbling were turning into a shrieking of sorts causing you and your best friends to stand up together and make a beeline to Hanses bedroom. You all knew it would be no use to higher the television to try and drown out the sounds of pleasure the two people in the room next to the living room were feeling. Clutching your beloved popcorn and fizzy coke you settled yourself in the middle of the light blue jersey sheet covered bed. Hanse with the fuzzy blanket from the living room took up the space to your right and Byungchan settled himself on your left, his long legs sprawled out, his green and yellow parakeet printed socks causing you to smile softly.
With a few clicks of the remote the movie had been ready to be continued but before you could immerse yourself into the infamous “Redrum” scene, Hanse decided to look you straight in the eyes and with an obnoxiously loud screech he let out a “ HOOOYAH D A D D Y.” His eyes rolling back into his skull. Fake gagging you shook your head and slapped his tattoo covered shoulder over his thin tank top. “I fucking hate you sometimes.”
Curling yourself into your oversized hoodie you got comfortable with both of your best friends, settling yourselves once again into weekly movie night. As the movie played you were brought back to what had just happened in the living room. While this certainly wasn’t the first time your plans were ruined by Mr ‘Fookboi’ himself, it still irked you. You knew this wasn’t your apartment and you had no say what happened around here but you missed the fun times you three had had without the possibility of hearing ridiculously loud sex take over the three bedroom apartment at any time of the day or night.
Hell, before Sejun moved in, the boys had shared an apartment with a man named Seungsik. He was genuinely nice and even joined in for a couple of your movie nights. It was peaceful and the only loud banging happened in the apartment was when Hanse attempted to make cookies and the clanging of pots and pans that most certainly weren’t used in baking resounded throughout the shared space. But that peace was cut short when Seungsik accepted a study abroad opportunity and Sejun occupied his space.
You spent about 4 days out of the week here and you swore there was a new female face that accompanied Sejun almost every one of those days for the passed six months that he had been living here. You were in no way sex shaming him as you believed everyone can do whatever they wanted with their own bodies but his choice in woman was sometimes infuriating. They held no respect that this was a shared apartment and it showed.
From the Brunette last week who had walked around in nothing but a towel while you helped Hanse study for his Psych midterm to the Blonde the week prior that you caught using YOUR purple toothbrush that you had left in one of the two bathrooms for nights you slept over. Like who the fuck uses a toothbrush that isn’t theirs? As you had taken in her party dress which you assumed she had been wearing earlier in the night when she followed Sejun to his room passing you and Byungchan grimacing over Hanses attempt at baking muffins, covered frame and her makeup smudged eyes, your eyes narrowed in on your toothbrush between her pink stained lips.
“Excuse me, that’s my toothbrush” you said with a grimace on your face as she leaned down to spit the toothpaste that had been sloshing in her mouth into the sink, the white fluid making its way down the drain. “hmm? oh here” was all she replied before placing the toothbrush in your palm. It still had toothpaste on it and it took everything in you to not throw the toothbrush at her and go full on hulk mode.
Then there was the Red head a few days ago that you knew as Cynthia from your shared Calculus class. You had been making dinner for your best friends that had been having a difficult school week. Walking into the apartment with the the bags full of groceries using your key the boys had given you, you set the canvas bags onto the white counter before organizing them into piles of what needed to be made in order from first to last. Pulling together the pots and pans you needed your thoughts were interrupted by a high pitched whine and the sounds of a bed thumping against a wall. Glancing towards the door you saw what appeared to be a woman’s taupe coat. Shaking your head you let out a disgusted ‘gross’ and pulled up your Spotify playlist hoping it would drown out some of the sounds coming from the occupied bedroom.
Throwing the tomatoes and onions into a pan you let them sauté until they were caramelized and got started on putting together the garlic butter for the fresh baked french bread you scored at the grocery store. Grooving to your music, you went along with your chopping of vegetables for the salad followed by dumping a box of penne into the salted water you had prepared. Spreading the herby garlic spread onto the soft doughy bread you plopped it into the oven and checked your pasta.
‘Buss it Buss it Buss it Buss it’ came through the speaker of your phone and you let your body do a little twerk as you plated the penne a la vodka, salad and finally the warm garlic bread fresh from the oven, turning around you checked to make sure everything was turned off and grabbed your phone to check the time. “They should be home soon” you mused and poured yourself a glass of ice water. ’Is you FUCKIN’ yelling the fuckin part you wiggled your hips as you sipped your water and turned around when the sound of crunching put a halt in your boppin.
Your jaw twitched as you took in the Red head leaning against the island counter with a piece of garlic bread between her smeared lipstick covered lips. The smell of roasted garlic and tomato sauce hung in the air as you stepped towards the female eating the food you had just made.
“That food isn’t for you, you do know it’s rude to just eat what someone else had made without asking right?” you furrowed your brows at her and extended a hand towards the rest of what you had plated up. Leaning her head against her left palm she licked her lips clean of what looked like breadcrumbs and smiled. “Aww, were you making a meal for Sejunnie? if so, I can assure you this won’t get him into your pants, not when he has a lady like me right here. But it’s cute that you tried.” Opening your mouth ready to ask her what the literal fuck she was talking about, Cynthia moved her elbow along the counter followed by a ‘oops’ and a shrug of her shoulder.
Looking down at the tray that had skidded across the wooden floor when her elbow knocked down your garlic bread just milliseconds ago you let out an annoyed “are you fucking kidding me?” Looking unaffected, Cynthia shrug her pale pink covered shoulders at you and licked her index finger of what looked like garlic butter. Leaning down with a bend of your knees you started to pile the bread you now had to throw out onto the faux marble tray that balances itself in your left hand. You grit your teeth stopping yourself from saying much else knowing that it wouldn’t do a thing. Knees knocking against the floor as you reached for a piece that had gone under the counter, before you could grasp it between your deep purple nail polished fingers, a pale hand reached out and placed it down onto your tray.
Looking up your eyes met Sejuns light grey contact covered gaze and you shook your head head towards the woman he had just been fucking. “Some company you keep” you mumbled to him before standing up, lavender slipper covered feet coming into contact with the dark wooden floor. As the door clicked open you were met with an enthusiastic“y/n did you cook? your’e the BEST.” Hanse stepped through the threshold of the open plan kitchen and took in the scene. You with a tray of what looked like garlic bread, a furious gaze in your eyes, Sejun with his hand extended towards you and a red head smacking her lips along a napkin.
“Um what happened?” left Hanses lips as you tossed the food that had been in your hand into the trash and got to work looking for the swiffer they kept in a linen closet close to the kitchen. Your ears picked up on what sounded like Sejun saying out a soft yet firm “I called you an uber, they’re here already” followed by a sickeningly sweet “But Sejunnie we could spend more time together.” Rolling your eyes you entered the kitchen once again and wiped the wet wipe along the grease covered floor. “Domestic, cute” Looking up you stepped towards the red haired female ready to throw hands. You were beyond tired of her shit and weren’t going to take anymore. She fucked with food, precious FOOD.
“I told you to leave already” Sejun grabbed Cynthias elbow and guided her towards the front door. “But, ugh fine. Call me later?” she asked and he just shrugged his shoulder while walking her to the elevator.
Angrily throwing the swiffer pad into the trash you thrust the mop to Hanse to put away and bounded to the sink to wash your hands. “I fucking can’t stand people like her, Sejun needs to filter out the bitches from his list of hookups. I swear to god dealing with someone like her is not worth getting your dick wet.” You shouted and Hanse pat your back.
Byungchan’s soft head of hair leaning on your shoulder brought you back to reality and you sighed shaking the thoughts of Sejuns hookups out of your mind to focus on the movie that was almost finished. Looking to your left you smiled softly at the dimpled boys sleeping face. Hanse shifted on you right to pull his blanket closer to his body.
While Hanse was still awake you knew it would be a few minutes before he completely passed out like the sweetheart to your left had. Sitting up carefully you leaned Byungchans head onto a pillow and brought the comforter up his body while Hanse curled into himself mumbling a “you can sleep here or take Channies bed.” Shaking your head you let him know you’d be taking the couch as you tucked the bowl of kernels under your arm and balanced two glasses between your fingers of your fight hand as you maneuvered your way out of his room and to the kitchen. The soft lighting over the stove illuminated your trek to the kitchen and you spotted Sejun in a pair of joggers and an oversized pale blue t shirt sipping a glass of what looked like water.
Moving passed him you dumped the remnants of the kernels into the trash and carefully plopped the dishes into the sink to his right. To your left his eyes followed your movements as you cleaned up. “I’m sleeping on the couch so if you’re going for round two with whatever her name is, please keep it down.” you grumbled without looking at him and you made your way to the couch you had spent many a nights on. From the open kitchen you heard him shift as he placed the glass he had been drinking out of into the sink. “She left already, goodnight y/n” he responded and walked the few steps to his room, his door softly closing behind him and you shut your eyes, pulling the blue blanket that had been on the end of Hanses bed and you had snatched, closer to your body letting sleep overtake your tired brain.
The smell of sizzling bacon and warm butter invading your nostrils sending your senses in an uproar and your body to slowly open your eyes. Sitting up you still clutched the blanket you had been using tight around your body in a makeshift cocoon. Gaze scanning the kitchen behind the couch you were sitting on you watched as Sejun joked with Hanse while preparing the bacon that was sizzling in the pan below him. Hanse was mixing up more pancake batter and Byungchan was finishing a flip on the duo of cakes bubbling up in the pan he had been working with.
You could almost curse your stomach as an obscenely loud grumbled was heard in the open space causing all three boys to turn around and take in your messy bun that more like a turd flopping atop your head and your mascara slightly smudged under your eyes. Raising your left hand into what looked like a small wave you heard Hanse laugh loudly causing you to smile. “The Princess is awake” with a stern look in your eyes his smiled widened “I forgot y/n hates being called Princess, EHEM my queen.” Standing up you stretched your arms over your head and arched your back hearing the muscles pop from lying in the same position for too long.
Trudging towards the bathroom, you abandoned the blanket on the kitchen island on your way there. As you took in in your appearance in the bathroom mirror while you let the water warm you shrugged. Your best friends had seen you look a lot worse.
As you smoothed the foaming cleanser onto your hands and over your face you let out a soft sigh in content. Reaching into the cabinet under the sink you pulled your small body of makeup remover you had stashed there and massaged it onto your eyes to cleanly remove any remnants of eye makeup. Letting the warm water rinse your face of all impurities you got to work on bushing your teeth with your N E W purple toothbrush.
Letting your hair loose from its turd like confines, you softly ran what you knew as Hanses brush over your locks and shuffled back into the kitchen after your bathroom escapades were done with.
Tucking your hair behind your ears you poured yourself a glass of cold OJ and watched as the men finished with their Gordan Ramsey like cosplay of cooking. Giggling to yourself as the visual of Gordan Ramseys face on your friends bodies overtook you.
When you noticed the boys were just about done preparing the food you pulled plates from the cabinet and paired them with silverware for all four persons. A comfortable silence surrounding the room as you all piled your plates with food and made your way to the dining table to the left of the kitchen.
“Thanks for the food” you smiled out while cutting into your fluffy pancakes earning a wide from Hanse, a smile from Byungchan and a nod of your welcome from Sejun. Plopping a piece into your mouth you almost moaned at the warm syrupy goodness that coated your tongue, you could take the vanilla Hanses flavored the cakes with.
For the most part you all had ate in silence with the exception of Sejun and Byungchan talking about the college Basketball team Byungchan was on.
You had offered to do the dishes in repayment for the delicious breakfast the boys had cooked up and joined in on the conversation that took place in the living room when you had finished. Settling yourself on the cushion next to Hanse you let him ruffle your hair and leaned your head on his shoulder.
Hanse was like the brother you never had, you had known him since your first year of college, you small body nervous as all hell when you walked into your first Literature class of the year. Sitting next to you he had struck up a conversation when he took in the crescent moon earring dangling from your double helix piercing on your right ear.
From then on you all had become great friends, you had liked the same music and enjoyed some of the same aesthetics. A couple of months later you all had stumbled upon Byungchan at a frat party and a conversation about Liquor vs Beer ensued in the comfort of the lit kitchen. Before you knew it you all had drug your asses to waffle house for 4am food to nourish your alcohol filled bodies. You both becoming fast friends with the tall teddybear of a man.
A year later and the two men rented an apartment together inspired by the fact that you had been living in an apartment with your roommate since the middle of your freshman year. They had invited you to be their third roommate but you were on a multi-year lease and to be honest, you didn’t mind your roommate. You loved your friends but you liked being able to come home when you needed alone time or just girl time. Lately you had been spending more time at your best friends house due to your roommate having her boyfriend over a lot more before he graduated later this year and you wanted to give them alone time.
Musing to yourself on how grateful you were for their friendship you took in the effortless conversation between all three men. You knew they had been friends with Sejun for sometimes prior to him moving in but you hadn’t really taken in how friendly they were all with each other. You had to admit it put the moving mattress of a man in a new light.
“Favorite Nirvana song..3..2…1.” Hanse blurted out. All together four answers were heard at once “Lithium” you heard Hanse shout which you had already known. “All Apologies” Byungchan smiled and “Come as you are!” you and to your surprise Sejun yelled at once. “oof we have a tie.” Hanse said followed by a “Okay, okay.. Favorite BEYONCE song 3…2…1”
“Wait wait, Beyonce solo or Destinys Child included cause that’s a whole other convo” you added in before anybody could answer before taking a sip of your ice water and roaming your feet into the blanket you had been using. “Solo Beyonce” Hanse answered before shouting his countdown once again.
“Crazy in love OG version” Hanse shouted, “Formation” was Byungchans answer. “Irreplaceable” Sejun answered while tilting his head onto his palm with his elbow resting on the arm of the couch to your left. “If I were a boy” you smiled at the lyrics invading your thoughts. “But seriously Yonce is a fucking icon and you can’t just pick one song, that’s like ILLEGAL!” you added which earned claps from your best friends and a genuine smile from Sejun causing you to cock an eyebrow at his dimples cheeks.
The familiar ding of your phone signaled a text and you entered your password into the drive while vaguely listening to what the three men were talking about. Sending a message in reply to your friend and classmate Haley you tossed your phone back onto the coffee table in front of you and leaned back onto the comfy cushions behind you. “Oh shit y/n I almost forgot! Heo Chan’s frat is having a party tonight and i’m making you come with” The inky haired man to your right said with a clap of his hands, his rings clanking against each other. “Oddly enough that’s what Haley was texting me about and I already agreed to go with her since i’m obviously the best wingman ever. I also love how you weren’t planning on giving me a choice on going.”
“I wasn’t giving you a choice because I knew you couldn’t say no to this face” with a pucker of his pink lips, Hanse folded his fingers under his chin leaning closer to your face in a mock pout. Rolling your eyes you flick his slightly exposed forehead with a painted index finger. “Yeah yeah yeah.”
“Byungchannies going too and I think Sejun may show up too” Hanse added and you nodded. You knew Byungchan would go, with him being good friends with Chan and Seungwoo from Lambda Tau Nu or VTN for short. Sejun going came as no shock to you either knowing the amount of girls that would be wanting him to go with them and of course leave with them as well.
Checking the time on your apple watch linked onto your wrist with its black leather strap, you stood up throwing the blanket that kept your legs warm onto Hanses lap and grabbed your phone while looking for your slippers you had worn there. It was a little passed two in the afternoon and you knew you need to go home, shower and then later prep for the party. “Imma head out to freshen up, see you later. Hanse you picking me up?” with an of course heaving your best friends mouth you left the comfort of the three mens apartment and heading off to your own.
Smoothing your warm vanilla and rose body oil over your freshly shaven legs you checked your phone noting you had a little over an hour to finish getting ready before Hanse and byungchan would be pounding on your door. You had just finished pulling your black satin bra and panty set when your doorbell sounded off. Wrapping your fluffy white robe close to your body you opened the door to a smiling Haley who was carrying what you presumed to be her “getting ready shit” and a bottle of Svedka.
“Pre game sweets” she said when she caught you glancing down to the bottle clutched between her fingers. With a slight smile and a shake of your head, you both headed towards your room to finish getting ready.
Checking her ass in the mirror, Haley gave a little booty jiggle in her skin tight taupe body con dress that accentuated her deep mocha colored skin. You had just finished styling your straight hair with some silkening gloss when Hanses called signaling them leaving their apartment and heading towards yours. Sliding your feet into your black suede high heeled ankle booties you smacked your medium toned nude lipstick covered lips and followed Haley into the kitchen.
When the boys got there Haley demanded a pre game shot and you all but obliged. With a slam of the clear shot glass onto the faux marble counter you all headed out, following Hanse to his small Silver SUV.
Pulling up to the long street of parked cars in front of the VTN house you shook your head at the seemingly already drunk couples making out in the bushes and a half naked guy running down the lawn with a V painted onto his chest in what looked like red lipstick.
Entering through the oak double doors behind Byungchan you squeezed his shoulder as he maneuvered you all through the crowded entrance. Settling on a quieter side of what you knew from a few parties here as the living room, Byungchan excused himself to bring you all some drinks and you surveyed the area you were in. A couple of kegs were a few feet to your left where some guy you recognized as Subin was performing a keg stand. The two couches and coffee table were pushed closer near a wall where the stairs leading to the second floor bedrooms was to make the makeshift dance floor where bodies were rhythmically shaking the hips. Behind you to your right was the brightly lit kitchen when bottles lined the counters and bags of chips were strewn everywhere.
As you surveyed the kitchen you noticed Byungchan talking to a girl you knew as Emi. Byunchans dimples were on full display as he laughed at whatever she had been saying causing a soft bloom of rose to flush onto her pale cheeks. Leaning down to stir her drink her light brown hair fell slightly over her face to which Byungchan leaned forward and swiped his fingers over her forehead and still blushing cheeks to tuck her shoulder length hair behind her right ear. Noticing your gaze, Hanse chimed in “Oooooooh is Channie finally making a move on Emi? He’s been into her for like a month now” Whipping your hair around towards the tattooed man your deep brown smokey eyeshadow covered eyes widened slightly.
“He what now? How did I not know about this?” Hanse furrowed his eyebrow at your seemingly upset look and Haley cleared her throat. Haley had been the only person who knew about your crush on your friend from a night of one too many Vodka Tonics and Tequila shots. “I only knew about it cause I caught him shooting her google eyes and I asked him what was up until he fessed up.. why do you look? wait..y/n did you?” With a tick of your jaw you shook you head pleading with him not to continue his question.
“Since when?” was all he asked and you softly told him the answer. “But it’s fine, I honestly didn’t think much would come from it. I wasn’t sure how our friendship and the dynamic would work if we ever got together” You ran your thumb along the hem of your black and deep green plaid skirt. “It’s for the best, I’m glad he looks happy.” you were being honest, you wanted your friends to be happy and that’s all that had mattered to you. Yes you were a little heart broken but it was better than him finding out about your crush and you getting rejected then, or you all getting together then later breaking up and you losing one of your best friends and Hanse being stuck in the middle of his two best friends.
With an are you sure? Hanse headed off to the kitchen when you nodded your head and sighed. “God you’re such a good person babe, I would’ve been like ‘HELL NO IM NOT OKAY I AM A HEARTBROKEN WOMAN ON THE VERGE OF A MELTDOWN’” Haley whisper screamed into your ear and you felt yourself smiling at her over dramatic theater kid self.
“Ugh Chan looks so good” biting her deep fuchsia colored lips Haley wiggled her eyebrows and you shook your head. You knew she was staring at his ass in those tight light wash jeans as he talked to Hanse and Byingchan in the kitchen.
“Oh shit he’s coming over here” Fluffing her black shoulder length curled hair Haley pushed her boobs out by straitening her back causing you to giggle and accept the drink Hanse handed you. “Hey Haley hey y/n” Chan smiled causing adorable dimples to grace his cheeks. ‘Do all these men have dimples or what?’ you thought and shook your head slightly.
With a hello and a thank you for invited us you let Haley grab all of Chans attention with a conversation about Musicals. Hanse caught on to what you were doing and stepped further away from the two, taking you with him.
You had been talking to Hanse about Haley and Chan when Byungchan stepped in front of you both with Emi right behind him. “Hey guys, this is Emi” Hanse smiled and gave her a little wave. Suppressing your urge to be jealous and petty you took a deep breath and nodded towards her “Hi” leaving your lips. As Byunghcan talked to you both about how sweet Emi was and how they had been talking but it hadn’t been anything serious, you gripped your glass in your right hand and tilted your head back drinking all of its contents in one go. The familiar warm burn of alcohol siding down your throat and distracting you from Byuns dimples as he spoke so highly of the female clutching onto his right arm.
Taking in the girls pale blue satin liken dress and beige sweater handing off of her arms you had to admit she seemed nice, very demure and soft spoken but nice. “You’re so pretty, Byungchan didn’t do you justice when he told me about his best friends” Emi genuinely smiled at you and you thanked her. Needing a refill of your drink you excused yourself and headed towards the kitchen.
Setting your glass on the counter you got to work mixing Rum and a splash of coke. Taking your first sip you nodded and hummed at the taste. If you were going to deal with your crush and best friend finding a girlfriend you definitely needed something strong. Taking another sip you leaned your hip against the counters and slowly moved your head in a circle to relieve the tension you had been building up. You felt your body starting to heat up from the amount of bodies in the house and the alcohol flowing freely through your veins as you finished your second drink with a long chug.
Shrugging your oversized medium blue denim jacket off of your shoulder you looked for a suitable place to hide it from partygoers. Situating your jacket behind bottles of soap under the sink you made a note on your phone letting you know where you hide it in case you forgot and needed to retrieve it the next day.
Pouring yourself another drink you capped the Rum when you were done and sighed as the breeze from the overhead vent licked against your skin in your black crop top and plaid skirt. “Damn, now that’s a drink” came from your left causing your to look up with an arch of one of your eyebrows. Liam Martinez stood in front of you with a smile of his pearly whites and you couldn’t help but smile back. You recognized the Wide Receiver of your college football as you shared a literary course with him. You actually also shared that class with Sejun as well.
“Want one?” you asked with a smile to which he shifted closer to you and handed you his red cup. “Yes ma’am” you opened the same bottle you had been using and started pouring it into his glass, followed by a splash of the open coke to your right. Scooping a bit of ice from the bag in the sink into his glass you handed it back to him which he accepted gratefully.
“So, what’re you doing here? or better question, why are you drinking alone in a kitchen full of bottles?” Leaning your hip against the counter you quirked you lip slightly over you glass. “Well if anybody was drinking wouldn’t it be better to drink in a room full of bottles?” Chuckling at your retort Liam placed a hand on the counter and sipped his drink waiting for you to continue. “But if you must know, I finished my drink my friend made me and came to make another, plus they were having a convo I didn’t really feel like being a part of” you let the last bit slip out with a shrug of your shoulders.
With a ‘hmm’ in acknowledgment you two started a pretty nice conversation about your shared class and the frat house you were currently in which Liam had been a part of. Feeling the buzz flowing through your body you accepted his offer when he asked you to dance.
With your hand tucked into his you made your way to the dance floor and wrapped your arms around his neck as the music thumped around you. Settling his hands on your hips he pulled you closer to him, swaying your bodies to rhythm of the bass. Under the soft lights in the dark living room Liams light brown hair shined. Liams hands trailed up and down your hips, eventually turning you around pulling your back into his white t shirt and blue plaid covered chest feeling his muscles rippling against your back.
Leaning your head back onto his chest you ground your hips back into his and smirked. The alcohol coursing through your veins lending confidence to your dance moves as your began to grind with him in the middle of the other swaying dance partners crowding the space.
Another song came to a finish and you felt your body heating up tremendously. With a huff of air escaping your parted semi glossy lips, you knew you needed water and as Liams fingers grazed up your left thigh you excused yourself telling him you’d be right back but he had insisted on going with you.
Reaching the kitchen you looked for a clean empty cup to be the vessel that you needed to quench your thirst and hopefully cool your body down. Liam handed you an opaque red cup from the stack of downturned cups and you poured yourself some water from the fridge and took a long sip relishing in the fresh cool liquid cooling your body down and causing a small shiver.
“Hey can you pass me a coke from the fridge?” The taller man in font of you asked as you were closer to the fridge than he was and you nodded thinking nothing of it. Opening the metal fridge you looked around on the middle shelf before your eyes landed on the signature red cans, plucking one from the shelf you turned and stepped your way back to Liam, handing it to him which caused him to smile his pearly whites in return.
“Hold on, did he just drop something in y/ns glass?” Hanse voiced out while putting a black nail polished hand up in a stop motion after his eyes had zeroed in on the man in question drop something that looked like a small white circular pill into your drink. Earlier in the night Sejun had been talking to Hanse when they both noticed you dancing with Liam, he couldn’t quite place where he knew him from but after Hanse voiced what he had just seen, he remembered a girl he had hooked up with a couple of weeks ago said that after she had hooked up with Liam about a week prior. She had been looking for her shorts and found what looked like roofies on the floor in a bag under his bed. Sejun had asked why she didn’t report him to which she just shrugged and said Liam hadn’t done anything to her and she wasn’t sure that’s what they were so she wasn’t going to start trouble.
With a narrow of his eyes he peeled Tashas hand from around his torso and bounded off into the kitchen following Hanses fast steps towards your figure holding a red cup smiling up towards the tall figure in front of you.
——————————————
ANNNND chapter 1 is done! I’m going to try to update this pic every week but i can’t make any promises as i’m also writing a Jungkook Magic/au fic series.
I hope you enjoyed the read and pls let me know of any errors you come across as this is partially unedited and i don’t have a Beta reader or anything of the sort. ILY
-C/Potittiess
#lim sejun#sejun#sejun x reader#victon#sejun smut#victon fic#fluff#angst#smut#college fic#collegeau#roommates#roomateau#enemies to lovers#fwb#friendswithbenefits#series#kpop fic#kpop#kpop imagines#victon fanfic#do hanse#choi byungchan#heo chan#jun subin#han seungwoo#kang seungsik#kpop smut#kpopfluff#kpop angst
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Life feels kind of bleak right now. And my fun fanish interests are at fairly bleak points as well. Seeing all the fun, lighter stuff isn't chasing the bleak away, so I'm going to try to get some of it out of my head by writing down my bleakest of Eddie Munson headcanons. Now they're your problem. (warning for language, fairly non-graphic sex talk, and bleakness, no good things follow)
Eddie discovered kink while doing an errand for Reefer Rick. Rick's contact met him at a club, noticed Eddie's fascination, bought him a few drinks, then tied him up and fucked him
Eddie was completely on board with everything that happened at the time. Looking back he doesn't regret that it happened, but does know it probably shouldn't have.
When he's subbing, Eddie likes to be restrained. He likes to have rules to follow, or be punished for not following. Pain can be fun, but he hates verbal degradation. He gets called enough names in real life.
As a dom, Eddie doesn't really have hard limits. He'll get off on anything his partner is enjoying. He is very good at reading his partner's responses and pushing people just the right amount.
Eddie fucking loves aftercare, both providing and receiving. It's pretty much the only physical affection he gets. Or gets to offer.
Eddie's never been in a romantic relationship. He's not sure he can be.
While there are no girls in Hawkins who would date Eddie, there is a metaphorical line around the block of girls who would fuck him if no one else would find out about it. He's fucked some of them, but it always feels kind of gross and unsatisfying. At least when the guys don't want to be seen with him in public it doesn't feel personal.
Eddie was flirting with Chrissy. At first it was just to help her relax, but he was genuinely into her. He kind of hoped they'd fuck when they got high together, but also kind of hoped they didn't so he wouldn't end up thinking of her the way he did the other girls.
With modern vocabulary and resources, Eddie might claim the label pansexual. With limited community and his personal experiences, 1986 Eddie thinks of himself as gay. If forced to claim a label, he'd describe himself with a slur and dare the people around him to call him something worse.
Eddie's never come out to anyone. His uncle Wayne is pretty sure Eddie's gay, but doesn't want to make the kid uncomfortable by insisting they talk about it. Eddie thinks Wayne finding out would the final straw that breaks his uncles love for him.
Eddie's not the only gay man in Hawkins. He's recognized a few guys from bars out with their wives or girlfriends. It pisses him off that they pass themselves off as normal.
In his second senior year he recognized one of his teachers. It took him most of the period to realize why the guy looked so familiar. He skipped that class for the rest of the year. Got a B-, though.
Eddie is flagging at school on purpose. Not to meet a guy, but because it's a way he can declare his identity publicly but still relatively safely.
Eddie starts every morning with a beer. He couldn't remember the last time he was totally sober if he tried. Every day he has to find a balance that leaves him calm enough to not disrupt class, energetic enough not to fall asleep, and mellow enough not to react to the other students' bullying. There is some leeway, and he hits that balance about 90% of the time, but it getting harder.
Eddie's only been arrested once, and it wasn't for drugs. It was for being queer in the presence of a police officer who was in a foul mood. They just kept him overnight and didn't file any charges. It was pretty scary at the time and infuriating in retrospect.
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Ahsbejsnfjr Mia!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!
I'm so Happy for you :)))) 💛💛💛😁😁😁😀😀😀🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Anyways can I get Sirius and Lily brotp please......💛💛💛
You can't tell me she wasn't bestie with Sirius before James. They are so amazing!!!!!!
@secretsongdeer thank you!!! to celebrate a very exciting/big reader milestone of We Can Be Heroes on fanfic.net (I still can’t get over it, I much prefer ao3 but anyway!), I asked for prompts and so... Okay so this got out of control and ended up being more that just Blackevans brotp but I hope you like it...
Prongs, what did you do?
“I hate men!” Lily said, flinging her bag onto the floor of the Gryffindor common room and throwing herself onto the sofa.
Sirius Black, who was already seated on said sofa and had been pretending to read when she came in, looked up briefly, raising his left eyebrow.
“What?” said Lily.
“I am a man, Evans,” he said.
“And?” Lily said, sending him a petulant scowl.
“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” Sirius said, trying not to smile as he went back to pretending to read said book.
“Very like that,” she said, sliding down the sofa and crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“Any particular chap bothering you today?” he asked lightly.
“I told you, all of them!” Lily said, rolling her eyes at him.
“All of them in particular?” Sirius asked.
“Well... I can’t tell you about one of them,” she said, kicking her foot against the low footstool.
That had to be Snape. Sirius made a mental note to hex the bastard as soon as the opportunity arose.
“And?”
“I can’t tell you about the other two either,” Lily said, throwing her head back against the cushion and sighing again.
Snape’s friends. The six mini Death-Eaters Snape hung around with could all do with additional hexing, the bigoted bastards. He clenched his jaw.
“And?” he said.
“And your stupid, infuriating friend!” Lily said, looking up at him again and glaring.
Her emerald eyes were utterly beautiful, but most people found them scary as fuck when she was angry.
Sirius Black was not most people. He knew Lily Evans like the back of his hand. This was only a recent and rather startling discovery.
“Ah, Prongs?” he said, failing to keep a straight face. “What’s he done this time?”
“He’s...”
“Yes?”
“He’s... well, if you must know, it’s more a case of what he hasn’t done!” Lily scowled.
“You’ve lost me there,” Sirius said, putting down his book and turning towards her. “Evans?”
“Black.”
“I’m notoriously impatient.”
“That’s not a virtue, and you need to work on it,” Lily huffed.
“Duly noted,” Sirius grinned. “You’re pretty impatient too, by the way, old thing.”
“So?”
“So, à propos de rien, what did Prongs do?”
“French doesn’t suit you, Black.”
“I think it does, actually,” Sirius said, flicking his hair and settling back into the couch more comfortably.
Lily glanced up at him briefly.
“Oh fine. I’ll allow that.”
“I’m always right,” Sirius said, with a smug grin.
Lily gave him an exaggerated eye roll.
“Name once!” she snorted.
“I said you fancied Prongs and I was right,” Sirius said, casually biting into the apple he had been holding in his right hand.
Lily’s cheeks infused prettily.
“You’ve literally never said that!” she yelped.
“I did just now, Evans,” Sirius said smoothly. “And I was right.”
Lily opened her mouth to protest and then closed it.
“Kneazle got your tongue, old thing?” Sirius said, grey eyes sparkling.
“Fuck off!” Lily said, jabbing his shin with her foot.
Sirius folded his arms and stared back.
“I can’t believe I’m telling you this!” Lily said, covering her face with her hands and groaning dramatically. “If you tell him, I swear to-“
“My lips are sealed,” Sirius replied, taking another bite of his apple. “Do tell!”
“I’m going to die of-“ Lily said, still hiding behind her hands.
“High stakes. Sounds like Prongs,” said Sirius, taking another bite.
“Listen, you’d have lost it too if you have just worked up the courage to ask Remus out and another person beat you to it at the last minute!” Lily said, flinging herself back against the armrest with force. “Two seconds ahead of me! Two bloody seconds!”
“What?” said Sirius, looking mortified, and pointedly ignoring the reference to one of his best friends.
“James, Prongs, whatever you call the useless, dorky git.”
“He didn’t say yes though, surely?” said Sirius, who still seemed a bit flummoxed.
“Didn’t he?” Lily said, her voice rising. “Desdemona asked him to go to Hogsmeade on a date. He said, and I’m quoting here, thanks very much that’s so kind of you I’d love to go only in his stupid polite voice.”
Sirius winced.
“And?”
“And?” said Lily, cheeks bright red at this stage. “And then she said oh James, that’s, like, so amazing? I’m going to, like, die of happiness? I can’t wait to, like, tell all my friends, they’re actually, I’m not going to lie, going to scream?” Lily said, putting on a highly convincing version of a snooty pureblood accent. “And then she kissed his cheek and ran off! He stood there, like a deer caught in the headlights! And she’s not horrible or anything, she’s actually quite nice despite her snobby voice, and very attractive to boot, and I’m just being mean and-“
“Fucking hell!” Sirius said, staring at Lily. “What the fuck was he thinking?”
“I know, right?” Lily glared. “Tosser!”
“Blithering idiot!” said Sirius, growling.
“Stupid git!” Lily added.
“Wanker!” said Sirius.
“Gobshite,” Lily said.
“Merlin’s sake, man!” said Sirius.
“Well at least we’re on the same page,” said Lily, shooting Sirius a small smile.
“Blindingly incompetent...” said Sirius.
“Incompetent what?”
“Incompetent flirt? He’s meant to be asking you out?”
“He is?” Said Lily, staring at him in confusion.
“Hand on, when did this happen?”
“A few minutes ago.”
“Merlin, fuck!” Said Sirius, pacing up and down in front of the fireplace. “He’ll come flying in through that door in the next few seconds, Evans, mark my words, so you need to leg it upstairs and let me handle him, alright?”
“Is that wise?” Lily asked, biting her lip.
Sirius stopped pacing and stared at her momentarily.
“Well. I’d say wise would be pushing it,” he said. “but still preferable to your future husband pulling a Prongs.”
Lily raised her right eyebrow.
“Fucking it all up monumentally,” said Sirius, resuming his pacing. “I shall fix this, old girl, leave it to me.”
“What have I done,” groaned Lily as she hurried upstairs.
3333333333333
The door of the Gryffindor common room flew open and James Potter stormed inside.
“Spot of bother with the fairer sex, Prongs?” Sirius said, lounging against the mantelpiece looking suave and sophisticated.
“Why, Padfoot?” James said, slamming the door so hard that the Fat Lady shrieked in fright. “Why is this happening to me, eh? What the ever-living fuck am I meant to do now, eh?”
“Prongs, care to enlighten me as to why the fuck you said you’d go on a date to Hogsmeade with Desdemona Demelza de Mimsy-Porpington?” said Sirius, his voice hard as steel.
James glared back at him and then threw his arms into the air helplessly.
“I have no idea, Padfoot! Literally no idea what possessed me, okay? I’m disgusted at my absolute barminess! It’s like I can’t be rude to a girl and then I can’t tell her she’s wrong either? I’m a disaster, Padfoot! A walking disaster area!”
“I agree. Your idiocy has risen to stratospheric heights, Prongs,” Sirius said, folding his arms crossly. “! just had Evans in here, in literal tears, all your doing!”
“In tears?” Said James, looking appalled and tuggi8ng at his hair with both his hands.
“Howling,” confirmed Sirius.
“Merlin’s tits!” Said James, turning white. “Do you think I-“
“I think your mother shall hear about this,” said Sirius primly, pursing his mouth shut and shaking his head with a disappointed sigh.
“What!” James shouted, looking horrified. “You are not telling mum, Sirius Black, you traitorous turd! It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t mean to-“
“All you have to do is ask the damned girl out, Prongs, it’s not exactly rock ’n’ science.”
“Rock ’n’ what? Oi! Now listen here, you little shit! I won’t have you chastising me like a bloody two-year-old when you are literally doing the exact same thing when it comes to Moony!”
Sirius’ elbow promptly slipped off the mantelpiece.
“Ouch!” He yelped, digging his elbow into his side. “What the fuck is that meant to mean!”
“Oh don’t you try this palaver on me, Padfoot! I damn well know you’ve had the hots for Moony for at least the last six months, and you’ve done fuck all about it, so don’t get on your high horse and-“
“What?” Sirius croaked, his voice shrill with fear. “I haven’t ever-“
“Oh shut up, Pads! I’ve had to listen to all sorts of Godforsaken moans coming from your bed as you call out Moony’s name. Darling Moony! Remus yes! Moony don’t stop!”
“What?” Sirius is now white as a sheet. “B-but I put up silencing charms every single night?”
“Yeah, about that, you never learnt how to cast a very effective silencing charm, mate. Which was fine, I covered for you, until you started mouthing off this gross stuff about Moony. I sent a remedial charm so don’t worry, Remus didn’t hear you mooning over him. He just thinks you are obsessed with Benjy now.”
Sirius stared at him, momentarily speechless.
“Excuse me?” he croaked. “He what?”
“Yes, well, I may have charmed your voice to say Benjy every time you said the word Moony or Remus,” James said, not looking at all apologetic.
“What? Why? Why would you do that?” said Sirius, looking at James with abject horror.
“Because I was sick of you both! Useless gits!” said James. “You’re both besotted and doing fuck all about it!”
“Fuck all? I’ll have you know, you may not have noticed, but I’ve been flirting my arse off with Moony for MONTHS now Prongs, months! And where has that got me? Nowhere! I don’t think I could be any more bloody obvious!” Sirius said, looking affronted.
“Don’t be ridiculous! You and I may think it’s obnoxiously obvious you fancy him when you send him origami notes telling him stuff like Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas? Or even Guess what's on the menu? Me-n-u, but Moony,” said James.
“But Moony what?” said Sirius, looking frazzled. “What the fuck could he possible think that relates to?”
“I bet he thinks you’re joking around, old chap,” said James calmly. “I did at the start.”
“Merlin, what the hell could he possibly think when I said Here I am. What are your other two wishes?” said Sirius.
“It’s Moony we’re talking about, not an ounce of sense in him when it comes to you, Padfoot!”
“He doesn’t like me!” said Sirius, his voice rising. “The time I sent him that note saying Are you French? Because Eiffel for you, do you know what he did? He turned around and told me, and I quote here, You’re a fucking idiot!”
“Merlin’s tits, Sirius!” shouted James, grabbing a hold of Sirius’ shirt collar. “That’s Moony’s way of flirting with you, you imbecile!”
“What?” said Sirius, eyes as wide as saucers.
“You’re blind!” said James heatedly.
“But how the fuck does Moony thinking I fancy the pants off Benjy help me?” Sirius said, grabbing a hold of James’ Quidditch top in turn and shaking him.
The door of the Gryffindor common room burst open once more. Remus Lupin stood there, eyes narrowed, lip curled, fists clenched, looking as though he planned on taking on every single wannabe Death-Eater in Hogwarts at once and could easily beat them. Sirius drew in a short breath, suddenly aware he was standing very close to James.
“Pray continue, don’t let my presence interrupt the snogging session you two had planned there,” Remus said, in a voice so icy that the dripping disdain had solidified.
“This is how it helps,” said James pleasantly, beaming at Sirius proudly.
“Oh fuck,” whispered Sirius. “Prongs, what did you do?”
If you liked it I can finish it??? It’s basically Jily & Wolfstar both oblivious idiots with wingmates Padfoot & Prongs (major Jily & Wolfstar shippers respectively) to the, ahem, (supposed) rescue....
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hiii I just recently read the bsd x haikyuu oc story and I can't express how giddy I got reading it IEHDIXHDIS is it okay if I request hcs of maybe how the team would react if a male member from another team (e.g terushima) hits on the girls and won't back off even after they say no? thank you sm!! I'm excited for the next chapters <33
Uh it is more than okay please request away! I hope this is okay I enjoyed writing this
Oda Sakunosuke: Oda is well aware the girls can take care of themselves, they’re more than meets the eye, but watching Tanaka try to make Higuchi swoon was getting increasingly more infuriating especially as she told him and quote “You aren’t my love go away” okay maybe a little more swearing blame the pinkette for that. As the Captain he felt he needed to step in- not to protect her no he has more faith in her than that but to steer her away and give a solid glare to the second year. Hopefully he gets the hint
Chuuya Nakahara: Chuuya has known Ryoko for a damn long time and he knows she’s pretty attractive, she’s tall, lean with light muscles and very smart what’s not to find at least cute. She’s got a mean streak and in honesty he’d probably leave her to deal with it but if it kept going and Tendo didn’t back off soon he was going to snap and use Corruption. Not unlike Oda he has faith in her but he’s also a cranky guy and that shits just plain annoying so good chance he’ll yell at them for not leaving her alone.
Osamu Dazai: Now while Dazai can seem aloof, crazy, bored or even high he’s actually very protective of the first years and Gin is like his little sister- sure he’s a bastard but it’s not like he has much say in what he does at the school. It was the middle of a game and Dazai was very ready to setter dunk the ball into Atsumu’s face. He may look calm and collected but if you look close enough you could see the gleam of irritation as he warned the opposing setter to stop before threatening to sick her brother on him.
Ichiyo Higuchi, Ryoko Fukami & Gin Akutagawa: while Higuchi and Ryoko don’t get along they are going to set aside their differences for things like this. Ryoko gets this shit enough Gin and Higuchi don’t need it either. Unlike the boys the girls threats are moreso promises- someone should really tell Yamamoto that before the knives come out to play because it looks like they are getting pretty mad- get the boys a throw down is about to occur!
Atsushi Nakajima: Atsushi can’t decide what’s worse seeing the girl you are crushing on (Gin) get hit on by Nishinoya or Higuchi trying to hit on the guy who doesn’t like you aka your crushes brother. Atsushi doesn’t like conflict so he’s more than likely going to get Ryunosuke and tell him what’s going on before going back, gently grabbing Gin’s hand and snickering as the second year rips into Nishinoya until his own team rushes over to see what’s wrong.
Ryunosuke Akutagawa: He doesn’t like people. That’s not a hardeharhar ey people suck okay maybe it is a little bit but he has no desire to have anything to do with relationships he’s still figuring himself out and he’s used to Higuchi’s pining but even still watching both her and his sister getting hit on by a couple boys from Itachiyama was making him fume. He’s definitely going to tell Dazai and ask if he can go use Rashoumon on them. He isn’t allowed to but at least he asked right? He’d wander over sneer very present on his face and not so kindly tell them to leave the girls alone.
Fyodor Dostoevsky: One might call him Ryoko Fukami’s best friend, (some have even suggested Chuuya was that) they tease and mock eachother and tolerate very little shit which makes them good teammates. Fyodor might be the manager and he might be a touch of a lazy bones but he’s efficient and on more than one occasion has threatened anyone from even daring flirt with Ryoko because unless you have genuine interest in her he finds it gross. Not that he cares (he does) if Oikawa happens to be scooting closer to her and invading her personal space and it’s not like he cornered him later before bed with threats and promises of missing body parts... I mean he told the coaches he was being odd Yep that’s it.
Junichiro Tanizaki: Junichiro might just be a first year but he is a big brother and the girls have in kind become sisters to him- we’ve seen how he is with Naomi in trouble now add Higuchi, Fukami and Gin into the mix you get psycho eyes. You know Hinata’s scary blank face yeah that on Junichiro what is this red heads are scary day? He’s used to seeing the girls get hit on on and off the court but it doesn’t make it any better especially if he can see when they start to get uncomfortable and he might just throw hands but you didn’t see anything.
And Bonus since Shiratorizawa’s manager Rika is also an OC
Shiratorizawa: Furious. She’s tiny and all those bastards are giants so imagine them standing around her while she’s getting more and more uncomfortable. She can defend herself yes but it gets overwhelming some days and let’s just say Ushijima is scary (we knew that) but did you know Semi was scarier?
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs oc#bsd oc#bungou stray dogs x haikyuu#bsd x haikyuu#haikyuu#Oda Sakunosuke#chuuya nakahara#osamu dazai#higuchi ichiyo#Ryoko Fukami#Gin Akutagawa#atsushi nakajima#Ryunosuke Akutagawa#fyodor dostoevsky#junichiro tanizaki
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Name: Rosella Macawber
Age: She’s about five years younger than Morgana; heavily depends on how you think supernatural beings age
Gender: Female
Species: Monster/Fae Duck
Occupation: Waitress (and occasional gardener/landscaper) at Shadow Chateau, Superheroine in Training
Super powers: Earth Magic (Geokinesis, Animation of Stone, Petrification, basically any spell that involves dirt, stone, minerals, etc.)
Weaknesses:
Silver
Cast/Wrought Iron (typically manifesting as allergies, though they also weaken her magic),
Water (erodes at her strength until she can barely move, she also can’t swim and sinks like a rock; however, she can drink it just fine, she’d just rather not take a dip in it)
Appearance:
Tiny twig of a woman with a terrible case of baby face.
Brown feathers, prehensile green hair done in a single braid (typically behaves like tentacles when unbraided) with a hot pink daisy at the base, rose pink eyes (which can turn red when she’s in attack mode).
Teeth are selectively sharp and claws are retractable (usually borne when she’s angry).
Typically wears a green sleeveless tunic, brown capelet with a hot pink rose pin, string belt holding a tan magic pouch to her left hip, brown leggings and darker brown flat shoes.
Personality: Optimistic, excitable, curious, and friendly; quite independent, but also lonely to the point of stir craziness; tends to be stubborn, prideful, and a little fiery, especially when she feels her identity as a person is threatened.
Relationships:
Morgana Macawber (cousin, big sister figure)
Tuffy (her cat made out of rocks; BFF)
Mattias Macawber (father, lukewarm relationship)
Undine Macawber (eldest quadruplet sister, hostile relationship)
Ashmay and Zephra Macawber (other two older quadruplet sisters, lukewarm relationship)
Darkwing Duck (ally, mutual annoyance but begrudging respect)
Launchpad McQuack (friend, usually the one to educate her on Normal stuff)
Gosalyn Mallard (odd friendship where they’re kinda kindred spirits but with opposite tastes; occasionally Rosie babysits her and it’s wild)
Liquidator (enemy, will absolutely NOPE out of Dodge upon seeing him)
Quackerjack (enemy, there’s a stupid mutual grudge between them)
Bushroot (some kind of weird complicated friendship despite being on different sides)
Biography:
Once upon a time, Mattias Macawber went traveling for a few years, only to return to Transylvania with four eggs that he quietly admitted were his, and that the woman he produced them with was dead. He spoke little more of the matter, despite everyone’s curiosity, and just sought to raise the children like any other monster.
Rosella was the last of the girls to hatch, and at first, she seemed like a regular monster, looking like she’d be a witch with animated hair. However, as she grew older, it became clear that she just couldn’t fit in. No interest in their macabre society, no desire to be scary or gross, and no magic ability save for manipulating dirt and pebbles. It grew worse when upon stumbling into Normal territory, she discovered their colorful flora (a far cry from the deadly and scary plants monsters grow), among other things, and immediately took a liking to it. She was already bullied by the other monsters for being weak; having adopted a cute and colorful persona, she was now tormented for being the odd duck of not just the esteemed Macawber Family, but all of monster society.
By the time she was an adult, she was shoved to the outskirts of monster society, and often even excluded from her own family—her only friend was a cat (named Tuffy) she made out of rocks and endowed some of her life force into. Not many visitors came her way, and when they did, it’s usually just to grab something from her magic stone/crystal/sand collection and run before she can offer them tea. So, her life was full of loneliness, filling time with gardening, making artisan crafts, and practicing her earth magic—it was enough to make her a bit stir crazy. Still, as much as she yearned for acceptance, she held a stubborn pride in who she is.
Things started to change when her cousin Morgana sought her help in landscaping around her restaurant, the Shadow Chateau. It was initially meant to be a temporary affair, and they’d part ways after the work was done. But, things took a turn when the fairy bounty hunter/hitwoman Goldenrod captured the Macawbers at the restaurant--save Rosie, who was ditched by the other members of the family and left to figure out which magic door at the castle led to the manor in St. Canard. She helped Darkwing Duck and co. rescue them, and then angrily chewed out her kin for leaving her behind and overall treating her like dirt.
Realizing that Rosella was unhappy with her life, Morgana felt pity for her, and offered her a job and a change of scenery. Despite said job being a waitress for the restaurant—involving being dressed to match an aesthetic she cares little for—Rosie ecstatically accepted (albeit with the condition that they transport her garden to a new plot of land, so that no vandals destroy her hard work when she’s gone), seeing it as an opportunity for a fresh start in this strange land of St. Canard.
This fresh start would involve the insanity of superheroes and supervillains, supernatural forces following her and Morg to the city, aliens, spies, mutants, and more… but hey, her life’s more interesting, and she’s starting to make friends.
Open to RP: If anyone cares.
Random facts:
Her mother is a faerie, and only two know (her father and a local doctor (who was confirming the girls’ relation to him, given that he just randomly showed up with eggs; Mattias paid him to keep quiet about their other half)).
However, everyone else does sense something off about Rosie (and her sisters, but she sticks out), enough to theorize that she’s actually a faerie changeling (well, they’re kinda close?). Some of Rosie’s peers had even taken to calling her “fairy princess”, which infuriates her.
She has a scarily extensive knowledge of geology—after all, if you had the power to command the earth, wouldn’t you want to better understand your element? She has a rock collection to boot.
She’s an avid homesteader, given that she’s been taking care of herself for years with various home skills like gardening, cooking, textile work, etc. As interesting as St. Canard is, living in the city gets her a little on edge, and she hopes to someday live independently in the country like she did before (that said, she doesn’t want to go back to a friendless life and would love visits).
Whatever you do, do not threaten her garden. She will throw boulders at or sic golems on you at best. At worst... let’s not think about it.
Though she has a distaste for the spooky, gross, and freaky things that are mainstream in monster culture, she ain’t gonna complain about the food--she actually enjoys it, her faves being the bug dishes. Otherwise, with Normal food, she has a ravenous sweet tooth, dislikes salty foods, and everything else ranges from okay to pretty good.
Character created by and belongs to @cyndalyssa
Bio Template nicked from @duckverseoc
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OH HERE WE GO LADIES IT’S RIVERDALE, CHAPTER EIGHTY: “Purgatorio”
I’m tuning in to be VERY entertained on the grounds that I missed almost the entirety of S4 and will not understand anything
we open with an incredible analogue comparing the football team to the Army, as men do construct rituals: football players get blown into the sky, etc., in a heartrending mash-up of Archie’s innocence + the American ideal/expectations/pipeline of masculinity
Archie Company is decked out appropriately to storm Hürtgen Forest
that art direction trope where a character’s hearing goes EEEEEEEEEEEEEE after an explosion……...delightful
the Vixens and friends cheering him on from the sidelines as if Archie can only process his unprocessable present through the lens of his past………...hits the spot
distressingly wood-based rifles for our purposes
Archie > Dawson: I don’t mind telling you I felt emotion upon Archie hoisting his war buddy over his shoulders to that quadruple-toned “Chivalric Archie Using His Strength for Good” tune, like when he broke his whole hand busting Cheryl out of Sweetwater River
WHEN HE SAW HIRAM LODGE, I’M TELLING YOU!
Hiram’s dragon-scale gloves? absolutely savory; he would
“Yonkers” is one of those New York place names I don’t totally buy is real (Poughkeepsie is another)
the sepia-toned light in this hospital room rings true judging by all the Captain America fanfiction I’ve read; I also like the mint-colored hand towels draped on Archie’s bedframe bought, one assumes, using the Department of Defense’s Kohl’s Cash
Archie made Sergeant, which is the best ranking for a fictional character: important enough that they can be a leader, get into trouble; low-profile enough that you don’t have to write them in the room making terrible decisions; probably won’t die immediately, as a Captain or Private might be
Fifth period is AP English: Archie reads A Farewell to Arms to Corporal Jackson, a WWI novel by Hemingway that Jug definitely turned him onto
Christ, Archie looks good in that on-leave jacket thing
I like Jackson’s subtle graph paper-print hospital gown
Gay?!: was Jackson in love with Archie? is he gonna bus to Riverdale once he’s off his pain meds? RAS, is that you in there?
God you know I love that haunted-ass Exorcist wooden bench bus light lighting
how long has the WW been relocated under Pop’s??? I do NOT know what happened to La Bonne Nuit
Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Fangs’ hair? his Tony Stark glasses? the girls’ “I’m a Slave 4 U” Burmese pythons? Toni’s headdress and immaculate glossed lip?
Sixth period is Intro to Film: the only part of From Dusk till Dawn I’ve seen is Salma Hayek putting her toe in Quentin Tarantino’s mouth but judging from that I figure I’d like the rest
The female gaze: Jesus Sweet Pea still looks good
Toni’s stage is flanked by twin pillars of melting candles and I would like someone to track those down for my bathroom
if they lay one hand on Pop Tate…
Betty appears to be, on her own, running the FBI training course. Betty is such a freak
Betty’s FBI-appointed psychologist is “Dr. Starling,” wears a great yellow blouse; Betty eats what appears to be a mini-sized Milky Way
her blond FBI trainer-boyfriend (uh) Glen appears to be an unholy fusion of Jimmi Simpson and that one actor with brown hair and really sharp light eyes whose acting credits I can’t think of right now, you know who I’m talking about (not the guy from Vampire Diaries)
I quite like her patterned blouse and I hate his yellow (gold?!) and blue tie
Please protect Betty: obviously we stan the Silence of the Lambs shit even as it remains infuriating Bryan Fuller couldn’t get his hands in it
Betty’s cat’s crying was so disturbingly baby-like that I had to leave the room once I realized it was in fact a cat
I’ve watched the Elisa Lam tape too many times in recent hours to handle this hallway shot
REALLY GROSS LICKING NOISES
the Trash Bag Killer coming at her was scary :(
Betty’s lovely blue knit cardi with the puffed sleeves!
50 Shades of Betty: clearing her throat before the doctor quite finishes her sentence—Lili Reinhart continues to be great at conveying “slightly perturbing subterranean tension”
was Charles a serial killer too??? oh damn!
Betty has been successfully holding off giving Glen a key to her place until now, an era that must come to a close
fellas, “Do I at least get a kiss?” is a bad move
Veronica was rich: Veronica’s new digs: exposed brick, bougiely avant-garde chandelier; possibly an elevator door right there behind the dude?
Veronica has married Hiram, to no one’s surprise
Chadwick looks like Jimmi Simpson and brunet Evan Peters plus a jaw
Veronica’s single-puffled-sleeved gown…..madamn (she has absolutely been taking secret birth control pills)
Summer + Blair = Veronica: of course Veronica would be great at Howard Ratner’s job; I MUST know what “specialty showcase haute couture offense” Vinnie has committed
T-Dubbs’ green jacket
Veronica pretended she was working at like, a department store? but she MISSED the EDGE post-day-trading
their apartment is so expensive that their bedroom is totally exposed
oh my god, Hermione
Best costume bit: please get me these satiny green high-waisted slacks?! and ugh her blouse has shoulder tassels……..she’s flourishing
“That’s threatening to an alpha like Chad.”
yes, they have a private elevator. fine.
Glen and Chad get their ties from the same Men’s Warehouse
“When that helicopter went down on the way to Martha’s Vineyard…”
you know kissing is 4-real when one person cups their hand to the back of the other person’s neck all close
I don’t understand the drop of the Glamergé egg but I appreciate that there is one and that Veronica is like, get this the fuck out of my house
Veronica’s shiny cropped tweed two-piece, Yvonne’s weird feathery coat that matches her bf’s shirt (you know she’s supposed to be “too much” because she’s got big hoop earrings)
God, Jughead is next and I’m not gonna be able to handle it
OH GOD IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT
Alphabet City?! the piano?? the fucking East Coast Beat typewriter shit—the day robe? I’m—READING CLUBMASTERS? FORSYTHE???
OH GOD HE’S DATING ANOTHER WRITER (she has nice pants)
Jughead eats: “that place you like” is a HOT DOG STAND in the middle of SOME GRASS
I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Jughead wears high-ankle light blue jeans, grey socks, and spectators that blend to create the illusion of wading boots. I’m going to commit a crime
Jughead doubts it: “So did Kerouac. And Hemingway. And Fitzgerald.”
fuck yes I love Floundering Jughead, and his Pushy Agent who pronounces “career” like “Korea,” and the continuing tradition of Jughead getting kicked out of his house
I like Literary Grifter’s sweater
the Brat Pack, and most of the Rat Pack for that matter, were actors, but I assume RAS couldn’t resist the rhyme
I was 100% afraid we were about to learn Cora was an uncomfortably-young undergrad
the musical cue as she reaches into her bag is absolutely as if she’s taking out a gun, and it might as well be! it’s the scariest thing in NYC: an unpublished manuscript
showrunners doing a classic I Love Lucy job partially concealing Vanessa Morgan’s pregnancy via medium close-ups, draping black clothes
Cheryl slowly turning to ask if doesn’t she look okay 10/10 icon
Cheryl’s pins: she has either a tiny spider or maybe a tick
Cheryl’s sheaths: the lacy red thing, amazing
why is Cheryl’s left hand gloved?
Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: Cheryl’s going to forge a Rembrandt, which unfortunately means she’s my favorite person on the planet (she does not look happy about doing this)
btw is Nana Rose an Immortal?
please tell me about Toni’s eyelashes
EXTREMELY HAUNTED DOLL?!
“Damn good coffee”: Archie’s earnest “Where are people gonna sit for the bus?” slayed me
fuck YEAH Ghoulies party house! terrible music but really good skull spray paint art
Jug looks LOW lol
Veronica’s blouse + buttons, impeccable
I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Tabitha/Squeaky
the hellscape semi’s red backlighting and its skeleton’s red eyes
I like Linette’s glossy bomber!
the trucker who’s about to kill her can’t also be the Trash Bag Killer….truckers have to stick to too much of a schedule….but he could be Betty’s meandering serial
I loved this episode
NEXT WEEK: Archie brings the FBI down on some people paying their rent :(
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Hello. This is really what Dhar Mann decided to do...again. Welp, the first video you did about LGBT people in sports was SO good, right? That you decided to make ANOTHER video about LGBT people and fuck that up too??? Real appropriate timing, Dhar Mann. Because it's the end of Pride Month and tomorrow is the start of Wrath Month.
Let's talk about it, shall we?
Before I begin, this will be talking about homophobia, being forced to come out of the closet, blackmailing, and outing of closeted LGBT people. In my response, it touches on assault, murder, execution, abuse, discrimination, fetishization of the LGBT community, harassment, and how being LGBT was once considered a mental illness. If any of that is triggering for you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, please feel free to scroll to other content that sparks joy for you.
To sum up the video, there is a gay boy (Pete) who's running for president (presumably student body) again, he's handing out flyers, and he's having a grand old time. His boyfriend (Julian) is being ever so supportive. To be honest, I've NEVER seen anyone in school handing out flyers to get elected in the student body. A student body, for anyone not familiar, is basically the group that "speaks for the students". Best way I can describe it.
Then some guy (Frank) comes up to him in the hallway to intimidate him...OVER A STUPID SCHOOL ELECTION. The terribly written, sorry excuse for a bully then takes Pete's flyers out of his hands, sees there's a rainbow on them, and calls them gay before throwing them on the ground. That's after Pete told Frank to give them back. Frank then asks if Pete and Julian are dating. Pete, being closeted, says no, and that Julian is his friend. Frank then leaves after intimidating Pete some more. Julian is offended that Pete referred to him as a friend, despite Pete explaining why he did that...y'know, because he's NOT READY TO COME OUT AS GAY and he was trying to protect himself and his boyfriend. (What the fuck did you want him to do, Julian? Come out when he obviously wasn't ready to just to make YOU happy? Pete was trying to protect you and himself, Julian! I understand that you want to be shown off by your boyfriend, but I really think that your safety is more important than being shown off.)
When Pete and Julian are at a restaurant together, Frank JUST SO HAPPENS to be at that same restaurant. Pete and Julian don't know that until later. Frank takes a picture of them just holding hands...which, why would you do that? I've actually seen posts of REAL PEOPLE taking pictures of their classmates (without their knowledge or consent), posting them online, and shipping them together. It's not a good look. It's fucking gross.
Frank tells Pete that he saw them (he and Julian) at the restaurant, shows Pete that he made flyers of the picture HE TOOK OF THEM, and uses it as blackmail. He threatens to out Pete when he already publicly outed him in the fucking hallway, which brings me back to the dumpster fire that is Glee...because Gary Stu (Finn) outed Santana as lesbian in the hallway WITHIN EARSHOT OF EVERYONE. That where you got your inspiration from, Dhar Mann? If so, it's fitting because Glee is a shitty show, and you're a shitty person. A match made in heaven.
Julian notices Pete is distressed. He says he has to drop out of the race because of Frank threatening to out him to the school if he doesn't.
How does the video end? Well, Frank gives his speech that is just D*n*ld Tr*mp type beat bullshit, Pete pretty much says he has to drop out of the race, the students go wild on Frank because he's a homophobe and called another gay student a fruit, Pete forces himself to come out as gay, the students are going wild, and he's elected as the student body president! WHOOP-DEE-FUCKIN-DOO.
This video is an absolute piece of infuriating shit. Enough said. I'll tear this video to shreds and put my response down.
I get the message they're trying to go for here, but there's a big issue with this! THERE ARE STILL MANY PLACES AROUND THE WORLD WHERE YOU CAN BE ARRESTED AND EVEN EXECUTED FOR BEING LGBT! DHAR MANN, YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT BEING LGBT AND YOU NEVER WILL BECAUSE YOU'RE A CISHET MAN! DO SOME BETTER RESEARCH IF YOU'RE GONNA DO VIDEOS LIKE THIS, OH MY FUCKING GOD! Not everywhere is like the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, France, Germany, and other countries where it's safe to be openly LGBT! You don't believe me? Look it up! (Obviously at your own risk. There's A LOT of triggering, upsetting things that happen to LGBT people in other countries.) Getting discriminated against, harassed, assaulted, and murdered for being LGBT? Yes, that all still happens around the world. Even in places where being LGBT is legal and not considered a crime. Like the United States!
Oh, wow! Taking pictures of people without their knowledge just so you can have some "dirt" on them for a stupid student body election. That'll help. /s Blackmailing an innocent person for who they are? FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. Good job! How's that working out for you?
Maybe instead of jacking your raging homophobe self off, you worry about the fact you look like and act like D*n*ld Tr*mp's long-lost son and you fix yourself, Frank. Take the log out of your own eye before you try to pull the twig out of someone else's eye. Just a thought!
Also, I could make a better flyer than a picture with a big red x. So creative. I expected more out of D*n*ld Tr*mp's long-lost son. Fucking top tier. You couldn't top this off if you tried! /s
Onto my response! It's a long one, just fair warning.
If you're in the closet because it's not safe for you to be out as LGBT where you live, you're so valid and I love you. /p Come out on your own terms. Don't fall for peer pressure. For anyone who's been outed before, I'm so sorry, I feel you, and I know what that's like. I've been there before. It sucks. It's scary. I hope you're doing better, if that's ever happened to you.
Dhar Mann, you will NEVER know what it's like to be LGBT. You will never begin to understand what the LGBT community has gone through and is STILL going through. Don't act like you do just because you probably watched one YouTube video about the LGBT community. You're a cishet man who's also a cringe ass nae-nae baby. Why don't you LISTEN to the real people you're hurting with these videos?
Here are a few suggestions you can do instead!:
Talk to actual people in the LGBT community!
Attend pride events to show support.
Read up on their history.
Support LGBT creators.
Donate to the community.
Happy Wrath Month, everyone!
#mello speaks#dhar mann talk#dhar mann#dhar mann is a piece of human garbage#please stop supporting dhar mann#dhar mann will live to regret his decision to make these fucked up cringe videos#dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu#dhar mann is a cringe ass nae nae baby#tw homophobia mention#tw murder mention#tw assault mention#those actors deserve better#pride month#wrath month#tw dhar mann
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Sharing Secrets
Word Count: 1288 (Ao3)
Pairings: Dukexiety, Royalceit
Rating: T
Warnings: Accidental Misgendering, mentioned transphobia, fighting, innuendo, inappropriate touching, injury mention
Dukexiety Week: Day 6 - High School. Virgil goes to a football game and he’s in a bad mood. The feral hottie who he definitely doesn’t have feelings for doesn’t help much at first, but he manages to comfort the emo. Feat ftm!Virgil and enby!Remus
@dukexietyweek
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The summer was finally over weather-wise and that meant homecoming was around the corner. Time for school spirit and hype—all the things Virgil loathed. Just because it was his senior year didn't mean he was going to pretend to like his school or go to the dance or the football game. He only decided to go to the game this year because a certain running back was playing and Janus coerced him into going.
"Jay, I swear to god, if you're just going to lean on the fence and swoon I am leaving," Virgil scoffed at his cousin.
"Mom won't like it if you abandon me with no way home."
"Your mom doesn't like me anyway, why should I care?" Virgil scoffed and walked away, along the path that circled the field. So what if she didn't like him? She still thought he should be wearing dresses. At least he could get away with a hoodie and jeans without binding and pissing her off. She certainly had him on edge that morning.
"Hey V!"
Virgil looked over and waved lazily at the cutest little puffball on the team. Patton was a big old teddy bear, but he was hefty and darn good at defense. And he could get away with not sitting with his team because his arm was in a cast.
"Sup Pat?"
"Oh nothing much, watching the game and Ro. I don't want my date to get hurt!" Patton said, "And he needs both hands if he's gonna ask someone to join us."
"Jay's over there if you wanna ask him," Virgil shrugged. Patton's face heated up and he chuckled nervously.
"Who said anything about Jay?" he deflected awkwardly.
"I'm not blind," Virgil jeered and crossed his arms. Patton giggled and rubbed his neck. His eyes wandered over the crowd, looking for some kind of escape. And he found it.
"Hey Remus! What brings you here!?" he shouted and waved at someone behind Virgil. Virgil winced and tried to keep from cringing too much. Remus was Roman's twin, just as beefy, just as handsome, but twice as feral with a full mustache. He had a way of getting under Virgil's skin like nobody else—mainly because he didn't have a stupid crush on anybody else.
"Pattycake!" Remus cheered and ran over, bumping into Virgil to "accidentally" touch his butt.
"Oopsie! Sorry Elvira!" Remus giggled causing Virgil to fume.
"So what brings you here? I thought you didn't like watching this stuff."
"Mom needed the car and I needed to escape the old man's rambling. So I'm here causing problems on purpose!" Remus shrugged, accidentally brushing his arm over Virgil's chest and narrowly missing his nose.
"Keep it up, there's gonna be a huge problem," Virgil grumbled to himself and shifted away from Remus and his stupid studded leather jacket that definitely didn't look incredible on him.
"I'll catch ya later, Pat," he said and walked away, with purpose. Stupid pretty mustache boy was getting bolder and bolder every day! Virgil did not want to be touched like that, not with the T and not by the infuriating hottie who might actually make him break and go for it before he was ready. It was frustrating.
He walked past the bleachers to the line of trees just out of sight. He was not about to cry because of two touches that might have been accidental. But he was about one more misgendering away from breaking into tears and fighting a bitch.
"V!" Remus shouted and ran up to him, panting as he caught his breath. Virgil scowled at him and narrowed his eyes to hide his brimming tears.
"Damn, you are fast, girl!" Remus sighed. He wasn't expecting a solid punch to the jaw, and stumbled back.
"Don't you dare fucking call me that!" Virgil snapped as the floodgates opened. He stood, ready to fight when Remus recovered.
"V?" he said softly and rubbed his jaw.
"You want to cause problems on purpose? Say it again I dare you!"
"Say what again? 'Damn?'"
"Call me a girl one more time—see what fucking happens!" Virgil snarled.
"Wait, hold on, are you telling me you're trans?" Remus asked with some amusement in his voice, amusement on the verge of mocking. Virgil fell to his knees and broke down. He couldn't believe he just outed himself to Remus of all people.
"Ah, shit," Remus gasped and knelt in front of him, "I didn't mean—you don't have to—" he willed his hands to stay in place and let out a sigh.
"Let's start over, with intros. I'm Remus, my pronouns are they/them and he/him. I'm non binary and I keep it under wraps." He held out his hand and smiled, waiting for some response that wasn't sobbing or a blank stare.
"Virgil, he/him, boy," Virgil sniffled and shook Remus' hand.
"So it's 'Virgil' now, I guess Roman can keep a secret!" Remus giggled, not exactly letting go of Virgil's hand, but not trapping him either.
"Yeah, I guess he can," Virgil said with a bitter laugh.
"Well he didn't say anything about my crush on you so—oh fuck."
"What? Seriously, me of all people?"
"You sound surprised!" Remus pouted and let go of his hand, "Why wouldn't I have a crush on you? You're snarky, witty, fun, cool, and you have such a soft spot under that tough badass exterior! Plus you're scary hot. I really like you a lot and maybe I get desperate for your attention and do something stupid to get you thinking about me. And I just keep hoping it's not too much or too gross or gruesome."
"Remus?"
"I was gonna ask if you wanted to go to the dance with me tonight but I don't think you do and I don't blame you. How long have I been misgendering you, Virgil?"
"A little over a year."
"That plus having more dick in my personality than my pants? Yeah, that's why I figured it would be a no, if you were going at all."
"I'm not. I was planning on watching some horror movies since no one is gonna be home. If you want to stop by—"
"Really?! I would love to!" Remus squealed and lurched forward to hug him, only to freeze midway.
"I should ask first."
"Yeah," Virgil winced, "Um, Remus, can I kiss you instead? If that's too much I get it and you can say no and it's not a big deal but if you want to—"
Remus cut off his rambling with a surprisingly chaste kiss on the lips. Virgil was stunned into silence and his jaw dropped. Remus giggled at him, not in a mocking way. Virgil closed his mouth and smirked, his lips still tingling and his cheeks still burning.
"I asked if I could kiss you, not if you'd kiss me. I'm still waiting for an answer."
"Oh?" Remus grinned, "You can kiss me. You can kiss me as much as you want whenever you want! If you agree to be my boyfriend, that is." He wiggled his eyebrows and winked.
Virgil grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and dragged him into a much more passionate kiss. Remus couldn't help it if he wrapped his arms around Virgil and pulled him closer.
"I'll be your boyfriend, if you'll be my—non binary friend?"
"Datemate!" Remus grinned, "I'll be your datemate!"
"Good,"—Virgil kissed him again quickly—"now how about we head back and make sure your brother didn't break anything."
"You got it!" Remus cheered and hoisted him up as he stood. He hugged his boyfriend close and giggled. This was too good to be true! Little did they know it would only get better.
#dukexietyweek2020#remus sanders#virgil sanders#sanders sides#dukexiety#royaliceit#roman sanders#patton sanders#janus sanders#ftm!virgil#enby!remus#sex mention tw#accidental misgendering tw#fighting tw#transphobia mention tw#sandyscribed
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Stranger Things Opinions:
Found a questionnaire online, and thought I’d give it a try in relation to Stranger Things, and my opinion on certain aspects of the show!
my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave:
Steve Harrington.
my trash-shit fave:
Don’t really have one.
my I love to hate them fave:
Tie between Dr. Martin Brenner and The Mind Flayer. They are both amazing (and scary) villains.
my I hate to love them fave:
Jim Hopper. Sometimes, I love him (like in season 1 and parts of season 2), and other times, he’s infuriating (like in season 3). It really depends on how he’s written.
my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave:
Billy Hargrove.
my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave:
Again, Billy Hargrove. When I first saw the show, I didn’t think much of his character beyond him being the sociopathic bully from the 80s. I assumed he was meant to be disliked and intentionally set up as an antagonist, and I just left it at that.
However, when I got into the fandom (around the time season 3 aired), I saw how much Billy was woobified by fans, and how people consistently tried to downplay his shitty behavior (his racism towards Lucas, his abusive behavior towards Max and Steve, etc), and it caused me to sour towards the character. It didn’t help that many of these same fans would go out of their way to attack characters like Nancy, Jonathan, and Kali for every mistake they made (even if it was unintentional), but then would turn around and give Billy a free pass for everything else. I really despise the abuse apologies made for Billy, and how his stans try to make every single excuse they can so that Billy doesn’t have to be held accountable for his actions. It’s one of those instances where Stan Culture has caused me to deeply hate said character.
my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave:
Don’t have one as of season 4.
my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship:
Don’t really have one. I’m not really invested in the ships, and the one ship I do kinda like (Stonathan) is never going to happen, so I’m not a hardcore shipper.
my dirtybadwrong fave ship:
Don’t have one.
my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship:
Jancy. Jonathan and Nancy. They’re a cute relationship, and they have great chemistry, but I’m not a hardcore shipper for them.
my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship:
Harringrove. This is one of those ships that grosses me out. Canonically, Billy was abusive towards Steve. He made every attempt to emasculate or put down Steve, and the last episode of season 2 literally has Billy beating the shit out of him until Steve went unconscious and Max had to intervene to save his life. How anyone can interpret that as romantic is beyond me.
The one nice thing I can say about season 3 is that Steve’s only interaction with Billy involved hitting him with his car and saving Nancy’s life. And now that Billy is officially dead, Harringrove is never gonna happen!
I am tagging @stillhidden @deniblogginstuff @pusheen1802 @mike-wheelerrs @thepragmaticrebel and anyone else who wants to give their opinions about Stranger Things with these questions! I’d love to hear them! 😀
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