#roomateau

[evilkennedy]

hold me close

pair: lethan; leon kennedy/ethan winters

summary: based on this post : https://www.tumblr.com/crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington/722857634630434816/bug-all-posts-for-this-au-will-be-under-the-tag by @crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington

word count: 1.8k

4:28 am; Leon blinked blearily at his phone, having woken up to the sound of frantic little knocks against his bedroom door. His head swam as he reluctantly sat up, the liquor from hours before still having its effect on his aching body as he tossed his phone back onto his unmade bed with a groan. Another set of small raps sounded from his door, making him speed up the process of getting out of bed. It was so late and the sound could have only been coming from Ethan. He tried to consider what could be wrong, but nothing formulated in his sleep-addled and tipsy mind. He was just annoyed at having been woken up in the first place, bare feet padding against the cold ground as he finally opened the door, a bit harsher than he’d meant to. He squinted at the blonde, dark circles undoubtedly making him look exhausted as he reprimanded his new roommate, “Do you know what time–”

“I know! I know, I’m sorry, I really am, I just– You know I wouldn’t bother you unless it was for something really important and uhm, there’s a… there’s a bug in my room.” Ethan finished off lamely. As he’d been speaking Leon being ever the observant agent noticed the way he trembled, even in the dim lighting of the hallway. He was paler than usual, which was saying something since he was already relatively pale naturally and he was sure that if he could see him better, he’d be sweating. The way he fiddled with his hands gave away the extent of his fear and Leon felt his heart ache for him. He was all too familiar with a reaction like this, but for some reason it hurt to see it coming from Ethan… it was like looking into a mirror.

“And- and I know it’s stupid, trust me, I know. I’m sorry. I know you don’t really like me and I know we promised to just stay out of each other’s way but I really– I just, I can’t. I k- know it won’t hurt me and it’s just a bug but I– it's– I don’t–” Leon cut off the man’s rambling, unable to bear it any longer. He might not have known every little detail about Ethan’s escapades in both Dulvey and Romania, but he didn’t have to. At least not to understand the way it still deeply affected him. He could see it in the way he held Rose so tightly and in the way he often woke up from yelling in his sleep, having to console his daughter soon after. He sympathized more than anyone ever could, so beyond the exhaustion he felt and perhaps even the slightest bit of exasperation, he softened, sighing before he spoke, “Where’s the bug.”

Ethan stopped his rambling with a surprised, “Huh,” deep brown irises even darker when contrasted against bloodshot eyes, lower lip trembling as he attempted to keep the tears at bay. Leon felt as though a stake through the heart would be less painful than the sight of Ethan in such distress, a bit melodramatic, he was aware, but as his chest clenched painfully and his stomach twisted from more than just sympathy– He knew he couldn’t acknowledge it in any other way. That fondness could be dangerous, tangible in the air between them and enough to swallow Leon whole if he thought about it for too long. Ethan was someone he was meant to protect. Nothing more.

“Where’s the bug?” He repeated again, patience waning thin at his own thought processes, but never at the other’s desperation. Still, he wouldn’t recognize the difference, so Leon schooled his tone as best as he could.

“It’s.. It’s above my bed. Thank you.” Ethan breathed a sigh of relief, though his state hadn’t gotten any better. Leon’s concern remained apparent and nagging, he wanted nothing more than to wrap the other in his arms until he felt safe again, but that would certainly be crossing lines he couldn’t cross. He placed his hand on the man’s shoulder in passing, “Don’t worry. It’s nothing.” He reassured, small smile on his face as Ethan leaned into the touch subconsciously, thanking him once again. He tried not to let the touch linger longer than it had to, or to appreciate the way his eyelashes looked, even in the faint lighting of the hall, he could still see how long they were. He couldn’t help but think about how unfairly beautiful they were, even as he pulled away and began his trek to the second room of the hall, an anxious Ethan in tow to presumably show him where the bug had been.

Leon entered the room first, though when he did, he didn’t see a bug anywhere. He didn’t want to alarm Ethan by saying it might have moved somewhere else, but before he could say anything at all, he was behind him, eyes frantically searching the ceiling and the walls of his room. “N-No! It was there, on my ceiling.” He pointed to where it had been, breathing picking up as he began to panic once again despite the quiet decibel his voice remained at. Surprisingly, Rose didn’t stir, even as Ethan started rubbing at his bare arms, eyes finding Leon’s as he trembled, legs threatening to give out. “I can’t- I can’t–” The agent was quick to respond, moving the two steps he needed to to close the distance between them, sleep no longer plaguing his mind but his own panic instead.

“Hey, can I touch you? Look at me, Ethan.” He held his hands up placatingly, concerned by the way unseeing eyes met his own with a nod. “Okay.” He breathed, placing Ethan’s hand on his chest, beginning to exaggerate his own, much calmer, breathing. “Breathe with me, okay? Can’t have you passing out on me.” He didn’t respond, but he could feel and see the way he was attempting to match his breathing, even though it was an obvious struggle.

“Good, you’re doing so good.” He praised gently, heart threatening to plummet through his stomach or leap right out of his chest with the way he suddenly felt so connected to the other, the unfamiliarity of it all overwhelmed his senses, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. So long as Ethan was okay.

The blonde nodded, slowing his breathing as much as he could while the trigger was still nowhere to be seen, presumably lurking in the shadows and waiting to strike. Leon thought for a few moments as they stood there, the atmosphere around them more intimate than he could have expected himself to allow.

“You can sleep in my room tonight, okay? You and Rose, give the bug some time to get out of here. You need the sleep.” His tone left no room for arguments, Ethan had been having a rough time since it hadn’t been too long after Romania that Chris had set up this little arrangement for them. More often than not, he didn’t sleep, whether it be because of the memories that plagued his own psyche or having a baby daughter that is struggling just as much and unable to understand it like Ethan could. He deserved a break, no matter how Leon felt about him. He’d push away whatever he had to to make things right, pretend to hate him if it meant he and Rose could be safe.

Ethan seemed to consider this for a few moments, aware of their proximity now that he was coming back to himself, brows furrowed as he responded, “Where will you sleep?”

Honestly, Leon hadn’t considered that himself, but he’d be more than fine sleeping on the couch. “I’m good on the couch.”

Finally the brunette let go of Ethan’s hand as the trembling slowed to a minimum and he was no longer on the verge of passing out, though it was done hesitantly. The other looked as though he wanted to say something in response, but he didn’t, instead just giving a curt nod and an okay in response.

The pair and Rose made their way back to Leon’s room, somehow the baby hadn’t woken up through the entire ordeal, which they were both grateful for. As much as Ethan needed the rest, Leon wasn’t entirely confident in his babysitting skills, so they’d have been screwed. The agent tried his best not to hover too closely to Ethan, but his concern was still palpable, practically oozing from him in waves as he followed him across the hall, watching as he and Rose settled back down in his room. He was grateful that he looked substantially more relaxed laying in his bed, simultaneously reveling in the way he looked like he belonged there. Dangerous thoughts for him to have, but if he indulged privately just this once, no one had to know. He looked cute, hair all ruffled from sleep and cheeks tinged pink from the tears. He wished he could blame the alcohol for this line of thought, but the buzz was long gone now.

Still, he hesitated, Ethan looked like there was still something on his mind and he didn’t want to leave until he was sure that the younger man was alright. “Alright?” Leon asked, voice no longer rough from disuse, but much softer.

“Actually…” He paused, shaking his head as though to rid himself of whatever he’d been meaning to ask. “Nevermind. Yeah, I’m good. Thank you, Leon.”

He hesitated, still standing at the threshold of his room, fingers itching to be back on Ethan again. How ridiculous of him to get so attached so soon. It had only been a month.

“Are you sure? I could stay. If you need.” He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to make the offer, perhaps the overwhelming worry he still felt, wanting the man to get at least one good night’s sleep if he could help it.

There wasn’t a moment of hesitation in Ethan’s response, “Please. If you don’t mind.” He fiddled with his fingers again, something else that Leon found endearing as he stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind him. He didn’t say a word as he made his way to the other side of his bed, sitting up against the headboard so that he wouldn’t make the other uncomfortable.

“Do you want the bedside light on?” He spoke, voice barely above a whisper so as to not break whatever bubble had formed around them in the silence of the night.

“No. It’s okay. Thank you. Again.” Feeling bold, Leon found his hand from beneath the blankets, interlocking their fingers when he didn’t feel Ethan hesitate, in fact, he reciprocated the touch easily, welcoming it.

“Goodnight, Ethan.” He didn’t feel the need to say anything in response to the thanking, knowing now that he’d probably do the same for him if given the chance.

“Goodnight, Leon.” Whether that moment would be left as a secret within the blankets of Leon’s bed, succumbing to the indulgences of nightly intimacy come daybreak, they would wake in the safety of each other.

a/n: I am so beyond obsessed with this au so expect more tbh. I love lethan so very much no one can take them away from me