#it's so huge it's intimidating to play like. isn't it bigger that all the other games combined. wasn't this said somewhere

[flash-from-the-past]

Submachine 10: the Exit

[bapeach]

My nerd

I'm still new to writing so if this is bad then I'm sorry, lol. English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for any possible grammar mistakes :). Let me know what you guys think! Find my masterlist here :)

You can find part 2 here.

Pairing(s): Nika Mühl x female!reader Word count: 2.3k+ Summary: Turns out the intimidating giant is actually a big nerd. Something Nika will never let Y/N forget. ------------

When you first got to Uconn, everyone was pretty intimidated by you. Not entirely surprising, you supposed. Even in a gym full of basketball players, you rose above them, standing at a whopping 6'7". It didn't help that you had dark eyes that seemed to always peer into the soul of the person you were looking at. Nor did it help that both of your arms were fully tatted up and that you had a resting frown on your face. You couldn't help it, your face always looked like you were trying to solve a hard math question or trying to figure out everyone's biggest secret. You didn't exactly mind being intimidating though, often standing with your arms crossed, slightly flexing your muscles. And God did you have muscles. When Paige first saw you, the first thing going through her mind was how you could easily snap her in two.

To everyone's surprise you weren't that scary once they got to know you. Sure, you still had the ability to make anyone shut up with a single well-aimed look that seemed to say “knock it off”. And yeah, you were still able to halt everyone's conversation, eyes focused only on you, when you had something important to say. But the team also got to know the real you. When needed, you could match KK's high energy, being able to hype up the entire team with a few witty jokes, cocky smirks, and well-timed speeches. The team needed a calmer presence? Then there you were, matching Azzi's comforting calmness, being a rock to lean on and a shoulder to cry on. 

The team knew you almost inside and out, just like you knew all of them. From KK's favorite ice cream flavor to Nika's favorite Croatian show. You guys didn't feel the need to keep secrets. You suppose that's why you all work so well together, both on the court and off. Except the team didn't fully know you, did they? 

You were known for your fierce protectiveness of the team, always ready to defend them, no matter what. You exuded an intense aura that scared off anyone trying to mess with you or your family and friends. But below all of that…? You were a nerd. 

You know there's nothing wrong with being a nerd, but still, you prefer to be known for your strength and resilience. So no, the team doesn't know you can solve a Rubik's cube with your eyes closed (It's not that hard once you know the patterns, you swear), they don't know you like playing chess (What? It's calming...) or that you're secretly a huge sci-fi fan (C'mon, Star Wars and Doctor Who are classics!). Hell, they didn't even know you wore glasses... 

You knew there was nothing wrong with glasses either, you personally even found them quite attractive on other people, but you chose to only wear them in the comfort of your own dorm. You were lucky to have scored a single dorm, not having to deal with any annoying roommates doing god knows what. The team hadn't even seen the inside of the apartment, all of you always hanging out in one of the bigger dorms, having to be able to comfortably fit an entire basketball team in there. Some teammates had caught small glimpses into the living area of your home away from home, but there wasn't much to note about it. It was your room that had all your geek stuff. 

An entire wall lined with books, ranging from the classics to the newest YA sapphic novels. Your  Rubik’s cubes in different shapes and sizes scattered amongst them. A couple of Lego sets standing proudly on the few available surfaces. And amidst it, there you were, sitting on your bed at 2 AM, wearing an old Doctor Who shirt, glasses perched on your nose as you watched your favorite doctor on his latest adventure. The Hedwig the owl plushie that you got as a birthday present years ago (which you swore you only still kept to keep your mom happy) sitting next to you, tucked in but still in view of the screen (she wanted to watch as well, okay?). 

When the team had suggested going to a bar after an intense practice, you’d hesitated. On one hand you wanted to go. You weren’t really the party and drinking type, but you always felt better knowing you were with the girls, being able to keep an eye on them. On the other hand your bones felt heavy from practice and your bed was calling your name. Declining their invitation, you figured you wouldn’t be hearing from the girls until late the next day, having them complain about being hungover in the group chat. Turns out you were wrong.

Hearing a knock on your door, you paused your show, listening intently to see if you were just imagining things. Hearing another knock and loud giggles outside, followed by someone shushing, you walked over to your door. Not paying any mind to what you were wearing, you opened the door, confusion clear on your face as well as worry. Because the only people who’d be knocking on your door in the middle of the night would be the girls, and that meant they needed something that couldn’t wait until the morning.

Looking down slightly, you see an apologetic-looking Azzi holding a giggling Nika under one arm while trying to make sure Paige (who was mumbling some type of nonsense about flying snakes playing basketball?) didn’t fall over beside her. “Hey, I’m really sorry to be knocking on your door, Y/N, but these two idiots-” ”HEY!” “-decided to drink too much, and I can’t handle both of them, especially not together.” Azzi apologizes, sending Paige a stern look when she interrupts her. Azzi looks at you, guilt clear in her eyes, knowing that you’re gonna be dealing with a drunk Nika who will undoubtedly tease the hell out of you once she realizes what you’re wearing. 

Nika, who only just seems to have realized she’s standing in front of your door (the girl she might or might not have a huge tiny crush on), grins widely, slipping out from underneath Azzi’s arm, right into yours. Squeezing the taller girl tightly, she mumbles (though it feels more like a shout in your ear), “Hey Y/N/N!”. Wincing slightly at the loudness, you hold Nika in your arms, mumbling a “Hi” before focusing back on Azzi. “Don’t worry about it, Azz, I’ve got her.” you say smiling at her, trying to make sure she knows you’re not upset. “Have a good night and good luck with…” you trail off, looking at Paige in confusion as she stumbles away from Azzi to go talk to the wall about… crocodiles riding skateboards? You give the sober girl one last grin before sending both of them a wave and pulling Nika into your dorm.

Looking down at her, you shake your head slightly. This is gonna be a challenge. Drunk Nika means a lot of cockiness, a lot of teasing, and a lot of flirting… “C’mon, Niks, let’s get you ready for bed.” you say softly, hoping your calming tone will make the Croatian girl relax and comply. Grabbing hold of her hand, you turn to your bedroom, but she doesn’t let you get very far. “Nooo,” she grumbles, her accent coming out slightly as she slurs her words. Pulling you into another hug with a bit more force than expected, she falls right into you, “I missed you tonight.”. 

You hold the shorter girl closer to your chest, knowing things will go easier if you just follow along with what she’s doing. (And okay, maybe you’d missed her too, but how could you not? Nika was smart, funny, fearless, kind, extremely beautiful, and exactly your type. Not that any of that mattered. You were pretty sure she was straight. Sure, she flirted with you and complimented you all the time, but that’s just the kind of friend she is.). Putting your face into the crook of her neck, you can’t help inhaling her scent. She smells like alcohol and sweat from dancing, but there’s also a hint of something else. A scent that’s unique to her. It’s soft and comforting, and it makes you wish you could just hold her close to you forever.

“I missed you too,” you say, pulling back and giving her a kiss on the forehead, “let’s go to my room now, yeah?”. You walk into your bedroom, guiding Nika’s hips as you push her to your bed, before going to close your door. “Wait… are you wearing glasses?” she says, looking at you in shock. You grin at her, shaking your head at how cute she looks. (How did it take her this long to notice?). “Shuddup” you say with a tiny smirk on your face as you walk back over. “No no, you look really hot.” she says leaning in a bit closer to look at your properly. “Like a hot nerd.” she starts laughing to herself. You playfully roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. The movement immediately catches Nika’s eye, her laugh coming to a stop as she stares at your muscular arms. Your smirk grows, seeing the way the brunette can’t stop gawking at you. (And okay, maybe you flexed your muscles a bit more, liking the way she was looking at you, but you were allowed to have a bit of fun, weren’t you?).

As Nika’s eyes roam your figure, her eyes drop to the shirt you’re wearing. “Wait, what are you wearing?” she questioned, her eyes wide as a grin starts forming on her face. Damn it, here we go. Moving towards your closet, you ask, “What do you wanna sleep in? Shorts? Sweats? Do you want a hoodie or just a shirt?”, hoping she’ll be drunk enough to have a shortened attention span. Your wishes, however, don’t get answered. “Oh my god…” she gasps, making you turn around, slightly alarmed at her sudden outburst. “You’re a nerd!” she exclaimed, looking around and seeing all your geeky knick-knacks. 

When Azzi came knocking on your door with a drunk Nika under her arm, you happily took the wasted girl in. Now though? Now you were thinking of all the ways Azzi could make it up to you. 

You throw the smirking girl a pair of shorts and a shirt, successfully managing to have them hit her right in the face. You walk over to her, ready to help her get changed. “You tell anyone about this, Mühl, and you’re dead.” you reply, knowing you’ll be teased relentlessly next practice, Nika not being able to keep something like this quiet. “All this time everyone has seen you as this tough, badass woman,” the brunette starts, her voice sounding muffled as you help her pull off her shirt, “but you’re actually just a dork!”. You can’t find it in yourself to feel annoyed at her teasing. After all, this was Nika, your crush best friend, the girl that could do no harm in your eyes. 

She continues on rambling as you finish getting her ready for bed. Giggling to herself, the still very tipsy girl plops down on your bed, grabbing hold of your Hedwig plush, wiggling it in your face. You sigh softly with a small smile. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you?” you laugh. “Nope.” she giggled. “But for what it’s worth… it’s pretty cute… you’re pretty cute.” she mumbles, looking down as a blush forms on her cheeks.

“Yeah?” you muttered, taking a step closer to her, moving a piece of hair behind her ear. “Yeah.” she replies, looking back up into your eyes. While you and Nika flirt with each other all the time, this time feels different. More real. 

You notice how her eyes flicker down to your lips, and for a second you let yourself daydream about how it would feel to press your lips against hers. When the shorter girl leans in, you take a small step back, feeling your heart break a little as a frown forms on her face. “We can’t, Niks” you whisper, taking a step closer again as you grab her hand and give it a light squeeze. “Why not?” she pouts. “Because you’re drunk, and I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.” you answer with a small smile, hoping to soothe her. “I wouldn’t regret it!” she shakes her head with her brows furrowed, “I’ve liked you for ages now, but you’re such an oblivious idiot sometimes!”. 

You open your mouth to reply but close it again, thinking back on your whole friendship with the girl. Maybe all that flirting wasn’t just a joke… Okay yeah, maybe you were an idiot. You grab her face between your hands, leaning in a little to kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry.” you mutter, lips still pressed against the Croatian’s skin. You pull back slightly, seeing her start smiling again, cheeks a beautiful rose color. “Tomorrow,” you promise her, “if you still want this tomorrow, then I swear I will take you on the best date of your life.”. She smiles a big, toothy grin, “Deal Y/L.” You grin back, pulling her over to your bed, already thinking about where you’re gonna be taking her. 

As you both lay face to face, you can’t help but admire her. Her long, beautiful lashes, her pink lips, her cute nose… You think you might be the luckiest girl in the world. 

Nika sighs contently, closing her eyes as she slides one hand over to hold yours while the other slides underneath the pillow. She furrows her brows, opening her eyes again as her hand touches paper. Grabbing the item from underneath the pillow, she lets out a loud laugh. A sudoku. “God, you’re a nerd,” she says with a wide grin. You let out a little laugh, looking at her sheepishly. “but you’re my nerd.” she finishes with a twinkle in her eyes.

Maybe you should thank Azzi for tonight after all.

[yukidragon]

Sunshine in Hell Height Headcanons

It's June 15, which as many of you know from this official profile, that it's Sunny Day Jack's birthday today!

You might also know that it's [Redacted]'s birthday thanks to this ominous picture Sauce shared last year on this day. Funny how these two totally distinct characters share a birthday isn't it? 🤔

Anyway, I was hoping to have written something for this year to celebrate, but like last year my spoons are way too few and far between. I was also hoping to do something self-indulgent for my own birthday, but same lack of spoons halted me there too.

So, until I can stock up on more metaphorical utensils to help me do the stuff I feel like doing, I'm going to celebrate by rambling a little bit about some headcanon details.

Sunshine in Hell differs from the game demos in a number of ways, and one of them is Jack's height. As you might've seen from the profile link, Jack is canonically 6'2", but in my personal headcanon continuity, I decided to make the gentle giant quite a bit taller than that. Because it amuses me, and I struggle with imagining Jack as shorter than Cove Holden.

When deciding how tall to make Jack in my stories, I also decided to do a height chart for him and a few other characters as well. It helps to better imagine characters interacting when you can see how tall they are compared to others.

Yes, I threw in a few extra love interests to the mix, as well as a couple other MCs. I was curious to see how tall Alice would be compared to her sisters, and I had to throw in their love interests as well.

As an aside, it tickles me that even after I made Jack significantly taller, he's shorter than Bo's horny "Feed Me" form.

For those of you that need the conversion from centimeters to feet and inches, or have trouble reading the image, I'll write them down for easy reference.

Alice: 162 cm / 5'4"

Jack: 198 cm / 6'6"

Shaun: 178 cm / 5'10"

Nick: 173 cm / 5'8"

Ian: 170 cm / 5'7"

Bo: 180 cm / 5'11"

Barbie: 184 cm / 6'0"

Bo "Feed Me" form: 216 cm / 7'1"

Elias: 185 cm / 6'1"

Coraline: 172 cm / 5'8"

As you can see, Shaun, Nick, and Ian stuck with the canon heights in their profiles. It's just Jack who got a height increase because it's what I imagined his height to be from the start, and Sunshine in Hell is basically my headcanons that diverge from the game's canon, so I do what I want. It's also fun to imagine scary yandere Jack towering over every single one of the love interests. It adds to the intimidation factor too despite his gentle giant persona.

Bo and Elias don't have canon heights like the SDJ love interests, so I mostly just did whatever felt right to me for them. Bo's regular height was influenced by the mafia AU picture Sauce drew. It served as a very good height comparison chart all on its own. As you can see, Bo is just tall enough to reach Jack's smile if you don't count the ears and poofy hair.

All credit to the awesome Sauce for their lovely art of course and for feeding my headcanons. As always, I want to link to the SnaccPop Patreon as gratitude for being cool with me using their art in my posts. If you're a a free or paying member, consider checking out an important survey that went up to help guide the team in their future endeavors.

Bo looks so short compared to Jack, doesn't he? In my headcanon land, it's just a matter of perspective, and next to other people Bo is pretty darn tall. Though he's just one teeny tiny inch shorter than his puppy.

You bet your sweet bippy Barbie takes smug satisfaction in that one inch height superiority. Bo talks so big as a big bad alpha dog, but the puppy he's trying to dominate is just a bit bigger and badder than he ever expected.

Of course, Bo gets to turn it right back around on Barbie with his monster sized "Feed Me" form. Like werewolves that become huge compared to their human selves, when Bo's inner beast comes out to play, he adds on quite a lot of height and muscle. He towers over even Jack! Still, even when super sized, he's no match for Barbie.

As you can see, despite being the eldest child, Alice is shorter than her two younger sisters, especially Barbie! They got more of their dad's height genes, while Alice took more after their mom in that department. Barbie and Coraline are quite a bit taller than average, a fact that Barbie revels in, and Coraline can find a little awkward sometimes, especially during moments of weakness. It can be hard to help someone stand back up and walk when they're much taller than you are after all. It leads to some embarrassing moments for poor Coraline.

On that same note of surprisingly tall people with chronic illnesses, I thought it would be interesting if Elias would have been a very tall man if not for his illness. There's no canon height for him and he's floating with Jack and Bo in the Christmas picture, so it's hard to go with a comparative height. So, I went with what felt narratively interesting to me. With his legs being twisted, and him being hunched over with a cane, he probably appeared shorter than he actually was. It's hard to see his exact height with his lower half ghostly and indistinct as well. It's only when he actually bothers to give himself legs and stand with both feet planted firmly on the ground that he can show off just how tall he really is.

While I'm on the topic of height, I wonder if one of Ian's insecurities was his height. Some men have issues if they're shorter than their peers, and Ian is the shortest of the love interests. I can imagine it certainly didn't help if he was bullied for being short along with his general "nerdy" appearance back in school.

Still, Ian has nothing to complain about at the height he's at as a fully grown adult. Even if the other love interests are taller than he is, Ian is still above average for men in the US. He's just got the misfortune of being the shortest guy in a group of very tall people. At least he doesn't have to worry about taking the bottom spot in the height chart like Alice.

Yes, Alice is a bit self-conscious about being so short compared to her peers, even if technically she's also above average height for a woman in the US. She feels especially tiny when standing next to Jack.

Though, admittedly, Alice does find it very nice to feel tiny and delicate when Jack sweeps her up into his arms. It makes her feel less self-conscious about how chubby she is when her big strong giant of a boyfriend can carry her around so easily. Once she gets over the initial fear that he might drop her, she'll soon look forward to being whisked away by her silly clown.

Oh, and if you're wondering about Mary's height... I'm still debating if I want her to be around Alice's height or a little taller. She had the same eye color in both lives due to the eyes being windows to the soul, but there were other physical differences due to different parents introducing different genetics. I need to ruminate on that fine of detail more and see what feels more interesting to me narratively.

Though even if Mary was as tall as Barbie, she'll still be short enough for Joseph to sweep into her arms since he's just as much of a giant now as he was then. Not that it would stop him from trying even if his sunshine was bigger than him. Nothing will stop Joseph/Jack from showing his love for his sunshine!

I think I'll wrap things up on that fluffy note. I hope y'all enjoyed me going off on a headcanon ramble after such a long time. With any luck, I'll be able to get to answering some asks soon. Thanks for reading!

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[telleroftime]

I want to hold tiny Bowser in my cupped hands. I want to boop his little snout. I want to give his face a big smooch. I was to scratch his head. I want to tickle him. I want to pet his tail. I want to call him adorable. I want him to learn to be content with someone doting on him.

At least until he finds a way to get the effects of the power up off.

The best thing about this is that Bowser is always the bigger one. Even in his normal form he's huge. He's used to picking people up whenever be pleases, he's used to looking down at everyone talking to him, he's used to being intimidating, he's used to being stronger.

But he can't do those things when he's small. Nope.

Is he scowling? Well that just looks adorable. You thought he's cute when he pouts normally but tiny Bowser with furrowed brows and crossed arms? That's an invitation to squish his cheeks if I've ever seen one.

Is he trying to breathe fire? It's smoke. Just smoke. A little cough of smoke, I refuse to headcanon it any other way. Or no fire at all, because where would be generate it from? He's too small to successfully grow it.

Is is trying to talk in a grumpy tone? Ha, that isn't gonna work. He's squeaking. High pitched Bowser. Better yet, High pitched, trying to be intimidating, tiny Bowser. He'd demand respect, but how can one keep a straight face when he sounds like he inhaled helium.

And just picture trying to take care of him, but less like trying to take care and more like going about your day and just tending to him whenever you get the chance. Imagine setting up a little desk and chair for him. Unless you make a custom one to fit his tiny size, he'd have to sit in those doll furniture toys. I'm pretty sure there's a barbie chair that exists somewhere.

Just - just imagine Bowser having to sit in a pink chair with a pink barbie table on a doll-sized pillow. Imagine if it's his kid's toys. Imagine his kids 'playing' with him. Tiny Bowser dress up? Does he even have the patience? I have no idea but it's the thought that counts.

And an additional though, I do imagine tiny Bowser would be a lot more squishy than his main form, and I can explain this -

Obviously when he's normal sized all his scales are normal sized too. His muscles have a defined mass to them. They're tough. Right. That mass shrinks when he's tiny. Whatever strength those muscles had, whatever resistance to pressure was present, throw that out the window because suddenly everyone else is stronger. So, no matter if he tenses his muscles, it'd be easy to just squish him. So yeah, squishy Bowser.

Oh and yeah, the second he gets back to his normal size he'd do the same thing to you because lets be honest, "two can play this game".

[limitless-blue]

hi :3

Who ends up catching Sapnap the first time for your pred/prey au?

ALSO

I need to know how Sapnap and Conter act(towards each other or to the group in general) being the only two prey animals (besides probably going at it like rabbits together pfpgpfj)

Was Sapnap kinda nervous being integrated into their group when learning it was just Conter as another prey animal :0?

Are there things like...instincts involved at all? Do the guys get more aggressive with each other trying to share Sapnap once they've won? Or like...Sapnap and Conter sometimes getting a Primal Fear when the other guys are ever too much?(there's probably a thrill to that tbh pfft)

HELLO i'm ngl, i'm not too sure who would catch him first other than the fact that conter will be one of them (yes, it is so they can fuck like rabbits)

yes! sapnap is pretty apprehensive being around so many unfamiliar predators for such a prolonged period of time. he's more used to interacting with aggressive predators when he's participating in competitions, events that are usually just a few hours of high stakes, adrenaline inducing fun. he's used to working with predators and beating them, having to fight harder to be taken seriously by them, suppressing his prey instincts and having to act bigger and tougher and louder and more confident than he actually is, but these are all for much shorter periods of time than what dedsafio is.

for a while, he struggles with just existing with team mafia. he can play up his persona and act like he isn't just a bunny, but it's exhausting for him to keep up for so long. most of the time they're on base, things are calm and relaxed and not at all like the stress of competing, so he's kind of out of his depth.

a big issue for sapnap is that team mafia have never really had to be careful or suppress their own instintual behaviors before. despite conter also being a prey animal, the only one before sapnap came, he's never really been afraid of them or been nervous around them. for one, he's known them for so long that he's comfortable and feels safe with them. he's also just so much bigger, already big for a prey animal, but also bigger than some of the predators. conter is tall and broad and he looks intimidating without needing a reputation to precede him like sapnap does. because of this, even when sapnap suppresses his instincts to run and hide, he still sees conter as a "safe" person. conter is bigger and stronger and more physically imposing, and he's competent and he's good enough to provide for sapnap. conter also just understands sapnap in a way the others can't. even if he doesn't feel the prey instincts or the fight or flight that sapnap does, he can still recognize the signs and body language, the behaviors that betray sapnap's nervousness and anxiety.

but yeah. if it wasn't already clear, instincts play a huge role LOL. not just sapnap's instincts to submit or run, but also the other guys having to grapple with having an unfamiliar person in their territory, having this vulnerable little bunny constantly around them, and trying to fight against instinctual behaviors like growling or stalking and play fighting because they want to do whatever they can to make sapnap feel more comfortable

[dumdumdrawstumtums]

I dunno if this is anything you want, but like maybe Zapp as a werewolf? What would he be like? :3

Oh God he'd be SO FUN.

There's two sides to this (durrhurrhurr). On the one side, Z/app would be revelling in being a werewolf simply because it gives him more opportunities to do whatever the hell he wants. Namely - because hi welcome to my blog - he gets to treat every full moon like buffet night. Once he's a huge wolf, he's using his size and strength to go out for a total gorgefest. There's not a shred of doubt in my mind his first order of business is busting into a closed deli shop and going absolutely ham gobbling up everything inside. If he's feeling particularly devious, he's crashing into a restaurant, scaring out everyone, and then sloppily licking the food off every abandoned plate and raiding the kitchen in the back of all their stock.

Even while in his wolf form, Z/app would be looking thoroughly gorged by night's end. Hefting a big furry gut all the way back home, licking his big chompers of any sauce staining his muzzle, belching instead of howling into the night. When he wakes up the next... afternoon if I'm being generous, his gut is looking even bigger on his smaller human body, despite having slept off some of his beastly feast. He's groaning, feeling immensely stuffed, but also smirking and giving his big, churning belly a satisfied pat for a job well done. He got to get his eats on and nobody knows it was him ransacking those places.

... Just kidding, pretty much everyone in Libra knows who was responsible. Z/app thinks he's being smooth, but it doesn't take much deductive work to put two and two together.

Which brings me to the other side of this flip coin! While Z/app's eager to reap the benefits of being a werewolf, he isn't so keen on some of the pitfalls that others would be quick to exploit. Since he's part of Libra, whose whole thing is handling supernatural threats, they know how to exploit it indeed. Namely, I like to think of how he'd be subject to bits of puppy play, which Z/app HATES and thinks is so damn ANNOYING and DEMEANING and oh god the scritching behind his ear feels SO good and the belly rubs hit JUST right...

Yep, whether in his "big, intimidating" wolf form, or even in normal human form, if he gets pampered like that he'll go from snapping and snarling to being sprawled back with his tongue lolled out. Being fed while in such a "humiliating" state sure keeps him nice and complacent, too~

[furiousgoldfish]

Help please… Oh fuck I am really embarrassed, like want to hide from the world levels of shame. I am the financial extortion anon.

On the budget, the yearly cost was 2,000$, not the monthly. The spreadsheet was something I had a hard time looking at, as my parents put so much pressure on me that I wanted to avoid anything they sent relating to money as to not let them see it was getting to me. I looked at it, but I made a major oversight.

Regardless, the 400$ a month gonna take all of my money anyway, but dear god I feel like I made all this fuss for nothing. They made the budget so anxiety inducing with their ominous remarks about the due dates that I looked at it and panicked…

It’s like this always happens??? I freak out because of how much they intimidate me and then I realize I’m overreacting and it becomes my fault for not remaining calm in the face of what they’re doing.

I made this sound so much bigger than it actually was and now it’s gonna reflect badly on me because they’ll say “what you thought we’d do that to you?! we aren’t monsters! did you just want to feel like a victim to avoid responsibility?” and it’s gonna sting so badly because they’re right.

Now I’m just gonna look like a liar who played it up for sympathy and everyones gonna say “well at least it wasn’t that bad”, and I am just so done… I thought for once I had something to describe that other people would actually see as abusive and now that’s all made up in my head too?! I could’ve sworn she said it’d cost a lot of money, because she said if I kept my old job I would’ve had enough to pay for it. I assumed it was a lot more.

I feel so shitty… When I thought I finally had something that would be considered real abuse from them…It’s gone.

Hey anon, I think what's happening is that you feel if your financial abuse isn't extreme enough and if you can't justify it with detailed financial information, then it's not real and you're just exaggerating. But extorting any kind of money from you is abuse. It doesn't matter if it's thousands or hundreds or tens, they should not ever be requiring you to give any money to them, this kind of thing cannot be defended.

I'm so sorry this has caused stress to you, but you were not wrong to come here and complain and say what's going on. You weren't lying, you weren't saying anything that isn't true, and you never have to come back and give anyone detailed financial info like here, you're not in any way wrong for doing it, but it's not your job to prove to everyone that what you're saying is the truth, and I'm really worried that by giving people this kind of info, they might find a way to use it against you later, to attack you, now they understand how insecure you are about it.

Also your parents wanted you to feel overwhelmed, anxious and stressed about this. They wanted you to feel pressured and drained. It's not by accident you feel like this is a huge deal, it is. And you yourself said it, this amount of money is going to take all of your money away. That's inhumane. There's a world out there where people can count on having all of their money and spend it on whatever they need or want, why not you? Why do you have to be singled out, have all of your money taken away, and then made to feel like you're not allowed to make a big deal out of this, not allowed to complain? You're not different from any of us. Your parents are giving themselves the entitlement to money that isn't theirs. I'm also disgusted at the idea of sending your child a spreadsheet of how much money you're expecting from them, like you're in some kind of debt and they're a bank, fucking gross.

You haven't overreacted. We're not going to judge you. You are a victim, and it is real abuse. Your parents are gaslighting you. It is that bad. You are not making this up. This is real and it's not okay. You can complain about any amount of abuse – and what you're describing is not nothing. A lot of people wouldn't survive with that much money being taken, me included. It is a threat to your well being, and a theft of resources you're entitled to.

Also blaming you for not keeping your job is extortion and abuse too. Overwhelming you with stress and expectations and pressure, that's abuse too. You've described so much abuse here, and so much emotional neglect, because I can tell your parents don't care a bit what you're struggling with. They don't care you're overwhelmed and stressed and pushed to the edge. They don't care you have a hard life, and they're not even trying to help. They're not even acting supportive, they couldn't care less. They've set a trap for you in every direction, no matter how much you try to figure out what is going on, you can hear their voices ridiculing you, shaming you, humiliating you, taking the truth away and twisting it and giving you a distorted version where everything in the world is your fault.

This isn't true. They're clouding your eyes with lies. Normal parents would care deeply for your situation, and wouldn't dream of taking resources away from you. They'd be happy with you having any job, any way of functioning, even more so, they'd be proud you managing to find your way in the society and earning money! They'd be thrilled you made it, they'd be offering to help you, to make it easier on you. Nothing ever would be your fault. If there was any stress in your life, you'd be able to tell them, and they'd think of a way to make it easier, to help you out. You wouldn't feel stressed and pressured by them, they would feel like home. You'd be able to relax with them, to tell them anything, to feel loved and safe when they're by your side.

That's what they're taking from you. And that's even more devastating then the money. I'm so sorry anon, that you're going thru all of this alone, and are subjected to constant gaslighting where they always make it seem like something is your fault, and everything you say against them must be stupid and wrong. It's not. They took so much from you. You missed out on so much. You've been forced to see yourself thru their eyes for so long, it's hard for you to have compassion towards yourself, to acknowledge how bad you have it, how hurt you are, how badly they're damaging you. They made it so you panic when you acknowledge your situation for a second. That's devastating.

Hang in there, and know that you're blameless here. Your parents are emotionally, and financially abusive, and they've neglected your happiness and well being and health to the point where you yourself don't feel like you have the right to be taken care of. A lot of us abused can relate to this intensely, and you're not alone in this, we've been going thru it as well. We're on your side. And the truth of the abuse will come out, even if right now it's scary, difficult to see, and constantly evading your grip. You'll be able to grab it, and never let go of it again.

[stray-kids-react]

An intimidating soft 99 liner male member, joining the group.

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° You weren't the most kind looking person in a crowd to say it lightly, but you've grown use to people being cautious around you.

° When meeting Chan for the first time, he tried to remain a calm composure. Even though his eyes showed every worry he had in his head. Whether it was about you or not.

° You were only a few years younger than your new leader, but he seemed much more approachable than yourself. Even though you were honestly just as sweet as him.

° Chan is a very open minded person and wouldn't care if you looked like a care bear or freshly released prisoner, all that mattered was your personality and manners.

° He knew that you wouldn't do any harm once the first word left you mouth, your tone soft as you became a shy blushy mess in front of all of them, especially Chan.

° He introduced you to the band soon after, taking you aside to reassure that he'll be there for anything you need. You've never seen someone be so comfortable around you, it was a refreshing feeling.

Lee Know

° Would be the member to take the most time to warm up to you, regardless of how you looked. He can be a bit distant.

° You had to make the first move when introducing yourself, ending up sharing a dorm with Minho. He didn't seem to be intimidated by you at all, you were shocked.

° Minho's glances towards you as you spoke it felt like he could hear every thought in your head, as if he knew immediately what you truly were like.

° He may seem like he doesn't pay attention to you at first, but once someone tries to tease you he'll be right at your side. He truly does care, just not great at showing it.

° He'll try to open up to you more, showing more of his chaotic side or introducing you to his cats. Both of those scenarios being major steps into your friendship.

° Thinks you will be an amazing asset to the band, and will treat you like everyone else. Teasing you playfully and chuckling softly as you begin to get a bit annoyed, but will make it up to you with small cute habits.

Changbin

° Is the member you'll relate to the most, since he is an intense rap god with unique features. But he's honestly a huge softy.

° You opened up to him first, knowing you would have some things in common. You just felt comfortable around him, you couldn't explain why, but it was true.

° After the first week of staying there, he couldn't get enough of you. You were a soft little brother to him that he just wanted cuddle everyday and everywhere.

° Does a lot of lives with you, a giddy smile on his features as you talk about stories of your childhood. Everyone notices the adorable friendship, and Stays ship it.

° With a mixture of Changbin's baby voice and aegyo, with your soft voice and cuddly behavior. It will melt everyone's hearts, especially the fans who ship you two.

° Changbin can get protective over you, especially when JYP critiques you on something stupid and unnecessary. He'll usually send a glare their way, with the occasional correction comments.

Hyunjin

° You are honestly more intimidated my Hyunjin than he is of you, due to his determined mindset and all round skills.

° He will admit to being a bit cautious around you on the first few days of your arrival, and he truly does feel bad for judging you just by your appearance at first.

° Would ask Chan what you were like, and once he was told that you weren't a threat of any sort it calmed Hyunjin down immediately. Even if he felt guilty afterward.

° The next day Hyunjin invited you for coffee with him, ending up liking you much more than he expected. You were very sweet and made him laugh nonstop throughout.

° He will not tell you his first thoughts until your friendship is solidified and can't be broken, he would feel terrible if he ever hurt your feelings. Since you are a literal angel.

° Hyunjin has a soft spot for you and you are the only person he doesn't stiffen up against when you hug him. It may be due to your close friendship or the underlining guilt he has, but either way you are his weakness.

Han

° Would act completely himself around you, completely unsure if you would be nice or not. He is always genuinely himself.

° Your striking gaze could strike him a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he doesn't let that show. Not until he gets to know what you are truly like.

° Jisung would feel all of his nerves calm down once you beamed him a shy grin, his efforts to make you feel welcomed working out better than he had planned.

° Introduced you thoroughly to each member, starting out with himself. Explaining that it is an honour for you to meet him, his tone amusing everyone.

° Can't help but adore how cold and rough you look, just because you are honestly just a soft squish. He likes your duality and thinks he could use you as a body guard one day.

° If you get a role of a vocalist, he will look at you as if he is in love. Going on his knees with a hand over his heart, making you become a giggling mess during the recording of the different tracks.

Felix

° Body full of tattoos? Hugs. Pastel kawaii? Hugs. Alien? Hugs. 7ft tall? Hugs. 4ft tall? Hugs. He literally does👏not👏care👏.

° Felix will only judge if he likes someone or not once he gets to know them, and if you are mean to him in any way... I'll pray for you, because everyone is whipped for this aussie.

° But since you are an actual softy with a cold outer appearance, he doesn't mind. You'll probably be surprised by how calm he is around you, especially when he cuddles.

° Felix can relate to you on some level, seeing as people who don't know Stray Kids will usually just notice his deep voice and hot visuals. But he is actually a cuddle bug.

° Doesn't want you to feel like an outsider just because you are new, so he'll invite to bake brownies with him and play video games afterwards.

° Felix will be your favorite dongsaeng even if you don't admit it, everyone will know this as a fact. But no one is upset over it, and actually find it adorable how much Felix effects your heart in small ways.

Seungmin

° Isn't the type to judge someone from their appearance, but it also a bit hesitant on you since you are so new and fresh to the group.

° Seungmin and Minho are similar in the fact that they would take the longest to warm up to someone, regardless of what they looked like or how popular they are.

° Jeongin would be the one to form a connection between you two, making each other hang out with him at the same time so you both could get to know each other.

° You and Seungmin are friends now, but it was hard to get there due to both of you being introverts. It was especially hard to try and hang out due to the hectic schedule.

° Seungmin took you aside while the other members were getting ready to head back to the dorms, he admitted to being glad that you joined the group and became his Hyung.

° Seungmin may be more on the quiet side, but that doesn't mean he's judging you by anything. It just means he's drained out from the schedule and is naturally a bit introverted, which you now understand.

Jeongin

° Jeongin is an absolute fluff ball Maknae, with an evil side... But usually very soft. So you couldn't help but fawn over him.

° You were worried about what he would think of you, finding you creepy looking Ro thinking you aren't idol worthy. But he was very welcoming about the situation.

° You baby Jeongin quite a bit, asking him if he needs help with anything or sometimes just cuddling him. But he doesn't mind, especially when he's tired and clingy.

° A memory that sticks out in both fo you heads is the time Jeongin came back from practice, dragging himself into your dorm. Falling asleep immediately in your bed.

° Jeongin appreciates how generous you are and hoe much you care about him, but sometimes he secretly worries that you don't care of yourself as much as you should.

° Even though you are older and have a bigger responsibility to protect Jeongin, he will help you out just as much as you help him. Many see your brotherly friendship adorable, and fans ship it very often.

[thesagedahlia]

🌕Full Moon in Taurus ft.11/11 Portal Opening🐂

It may be feeling like you're stuck in a situation, whether it be regarding jobs or relationships, where you feel like you don't know what to do. You may be having realizations about leaving behind what is keeping you stuck, & whatever it was seemed to have a massive effect on the balance within your life. At this time, you may want balance through cutting/closing out things that put a strain or pressure on your life, & for some this can be financial burdens. Whatever situation you're inquiring about will take a huge change that may cause transformation on your path. Things may take a total shift in where you have new plans in mind on where you want to go. You may be taking it back to your roots (or past) in order to have good fortune & enlightenment. You need to be able to face you fears, even if your fears stem from past or karmic cycles. You need the courage to step out of control issues or ego-based energy, & be able to open up more. You may need to be balanced in your emotions & not become complacent with what isn't worth having anxiety over. Coming out on the other side of releasing yourself from what is keeping you bound will be like you stealing back your own fulfillment & satisfaction with your journey.

♏: you may need to shift a perspective in regards to a connection. There may need to be a change in some way because things were becoming stagnant & going through cycles. There may be some things that have come to you in revelations, but you realize things in your situation are stuck suspended in the air, & all you wish is for forward movement from what is built on rickety foundations & you may feel like chasing a dream after much battering of your energy. You have a different idea of what fulfillment is & you feel you are being held back from things of the past that you want to fall away. You may be wanting to bring love into your situation, or the situations that you're too attached to may need to call for you to be more detached. There may be conflicts in between what you feel is essential to establishing your stability in an area of your life. You may want to think outside the box in achieving this, & it may take a more pragmatic approach to be the solution. You may need to handle things independently as well, as things will change for you; so long as you let go of the past & allow yourself the change needed to balance out your situation.

♐: this can be directly related to family members, but the overall theme here is there is a delay in a new beginning that is happening here. It feels like there is a cycle refusing to end, even if you've suffered from pain in this dynamic. You may have had to deal with a situation that's involving playing mind games with your partner (or again, family members). You could be allowing the cycle to continue because of your foundation you & this person (these people) already have, though there seems to still be an instance of going back & forth to stand one's ground. You can be experiencing reconciliation after a breakup of some kind with whoever you're connecting with. There is a defensive energy from you or who you believe this to be, & this is caused by belief of a situation being manipulated. There is some distance that wants to happen here, though it seems slow to process. There is a lesson here for you or this person to learn in order for balance to be restored.

♑: you may be holding back from plans to rectify a situation that may have brought about much pain. You may be wary of experiencing any more pain in your life, though you plan to make this move. You should know that luck is on your side, & adjustments are being made at this time. You have set your sights on the destination you want to make & it is going to require effort to bring balance to the situation. You feel a new beginning you want to act on is a big risk, now that you seem to have left some things that only caused grief. You're move away from stagnant energy & are leaving it behind you. There is a more passionate opportunity that you are moving toward & there may be some battle you had to conquer before you were able to take the leap. You may be holding back at this time to focus on yourself & what you want to achieve. You may be preparing to communicate an apology (or may hear one) from what you may have left behind (or vice versa), & there is an opportunity to balance things out being manifested at this time.

♒: you may be burdened by some fears about a passionate opportunity that seems like it could be a brand new beginning for you. You may feel like you are put under a lot of pressure enter this phase of diving into what is unknown, yet there is the chance of a meaningful experience will come out of dropping what is holding you back from moving forward. This is conflicting with a new beginning wanting to happen, but you may be wary of feeling like you will again be at a loss. Though things seem to be hidden as far as full details of what you're hopeful about, it seems very promising for you. You can be wishing for a connection to work out or take off, but it's seemed to be suspended in the air as far as action is concerned, though there is much hope within the fear as well. You are probably coming out of contemplation about what you want out of this opportunity, & you may feel there is stable potential about it. You may want to communicate to someone about building with them, but you may have been mulling it over for some time now. You may be letting fear, ego, or pride get in the way of your decision because you do want to come together with another person for some, but there may be intimidation because you may be speaking of a soulmate or the potential of one.

♓: you can be feeling like yourself at this time & have been taking good care of yourself & your projects. Although this is the case, you may feel like you're stuck in a cycle of feeling battered & you may be taken some time out of things that have been keeping yourself stuck. You're overcoming any obstacles that are keeping you from the fulfillment that you seek, even if you seemed to be carrying burdens from what you've dealt with before. It may have caused you to believe that it will always be a struggle of pain involved when reaching the happiness you seek, but you may need to start believing in the impossible at this time. You may have gone through trials of disappointment & distress, but the universe is preparing to turn in your favor. You may be coming to the conclusion that isn't as ideal as people may make it seem to be, so working on yourself is the center focus for you. You may also believe that the right person doesn't exist because you've received too many messages that depicts as such. You are settled for only accepting love & appreciation from those who are worth investing in & you are standing by that, but you will achieve it when you believe it.

♈: you may be caught up in some mind games within a commitment or connection, & there is more deception being manifested with it. This may be directly related to a connection with someone or a business partnership, either way it resonates there is a reoccurring fluctuating effect within the connection that may have you feeling restricted or less in worth. The manipulation is probably more or less hidden from you, but it is putting a lot of pressure on what you feel committed to. This could be a contract that resulted in betrayal or backlash, which may want to prompt moving away from this energy, but moving may be what's causing you the pressure or burden. This may be an experience that you're new to, but it may have been something you needed to see to allow a cycle to be closed out. You need to release what's is negative energy that is further causing pushback with this contract. Balance must be restored before any peace can be brought to you, so if a cycle remains open because of feeling stuck, you may have to figure out your options. This experience brought much mental anguish to you & you may need to take serious measures in action. Building in this way is not what you don't want to consider, even if there is a delay in closing this out. You may have bigger ideas & ways in going about this, but are keeping them close to yourself.

♉: your commitment to something, or someone, is likely being tested at this time. You may feel the need to act upon your commitments or to put more efforts behind whatever goals you're wanting to accomplish, but this may translate to things coming to an end for you at this time. You may feel that there is some big changes coming your way soon & it may be putting burden or pressure on you to be able to put more work into it. Maybe you were committed once & you dropped the ball. This may be an indication that you're halfway there, but not quite yet ready for your conclusion to be reached. You could be wanting to extend an offer of love or an invite for celebration (or one could be coming your way) but the only thing holding this back is an uncertainty about allowing necessary changes to happen. A change may need to be made because of the weight of the burdens & pressures attached to it, whatever the case you may be holding yourself back from making heavy decisions. Even with all the ruminating & contemplating of having the perfect situation, you still seem to be stuck between whatever it is you're deciding. You could be hopeful that a situation goes according to plan, or if you can get away with something you feel a lot of pressure about. It may be a matter of taking a leap of faith to something new to you that feels promising & rich with abundance, but you may be lacking the confidence to go for it, or your ego may be convinced that you shouldn't try so hard, or that not much effort is needed here. You know what a meaningful experience & change looks like & you want to make that happen.

♊: you may have some trouble believing that things around you are changing, or even that a certain situation left hanging in the air will be revisited. You may be firm in believing a certain situation may be held off from being resolved, or you could be feeling closed off from receiving. Just when you feel like things are crashing down & are not changing in your favor, there are forces greater than you allowing for these changes for your highest good. While things may not seem to be moving forward, it's only because you may not be open to allowing so. There could be communication of staring something new & commited, but you may need to believe in the impossible to recieve it. These changes may have happened in order for you to be redirected onto your correct path, so all you may need now is the right plan to put into action. This could be involving a partnership that you want to be committed & serious about, but either way being in alignment will allow the right people & situations to set you up to achieve what you may have felt was either holding you back or what you feel you had your defenses against. The divine is guiding your situation at this time, & you are being asked not to stay in a resting place or comfort zone. Something may be presenting itself for action, & it may be a rare time where something like this won't come around again. The situation is unlikely to repeat.

♋: you may need to take time out & keep hold of whatever vision you have stored for the future. Staying in power, faith, or patience may be needed at this time regarding what you want to achieve that will bring justice to you & will attract much abundance & happiness to you. There may be a feeling of not being as experienced, or you may have been planning or preparing, & it is beginning to put a strain onto your mental. Now is not the time to become stagnant from feeling inexperienced or underprepared, or just fearful of the unknown in general. Things may have to end or undergo a new cycle in order to have karmic debt cleared before things can take off for you. Being aligned may be a new experience that is going to help along your path, & it may be helping you to attract what is meant for you, whether it be personal growth or growth with others. You can be feeling stuck where you are on the brink of what is changing for you, but you are still wishing to gain the balance that you want within your situation. There may be an invitation that wants to come through & it seems to be stuck in suspension because of fear & mental anguish. This could be involving a connection that has been resisting a change or that has been stuck in limbo. Taking some lead in your life to be more in tune with yourself will bring clarity for what you need to move ahead fearlessly. You are no longer looking back on what was lost or what has made you feel at a loss & are focused on working through any mental anguish that could be keeping you from your vision. Communication about a significant relationship to be rekindled is a possibility for some, but for others there is much becoming clear to you about what you need to take action on in order to recieve your justice.

♌: there may be a fiery climax approaching for most of you. This could be involving a tense situation that may cause for you to be a bit aggressive or overbearing. You are probably hiding some assertiveness, or you are overly expressing this. You could be overly sensitive or emotional at this time, & you could feel a bit in a dark place, & it may cause you to lash out. Be sure not to be in such a selfish mindset where you aren't sensitive to the other people involved. You could be drowning in how you're feeling & that could be making you feel like you are in this alone. You may be wanting a new beginning that may be a journey or even a risk, but it may be the slow moving process that is causing you to feel as if nothing is improving. You may have already gone through a hermit phase, but you may still be in need of some heavy solitude or meditation. If this isn't you directly, this may be someone you're connecting with, preferably of masculine energy. There is progress happening in a deep state of figuring things out on how to go about approaching (or walking away from) a situation that is beginning to come to a head. There is much indecision here about how to use your will & concentration to manifest the right outcome, but there is slow but sure movement in reaching territory that is a completely new experience for you.

♍: this may be a very important turning point in your life so expect powerful changes at this time. You may need the confidence to embark on a journey away from what you're used to. This may be in regards to your own inner stability or being in a well off place financially. Whatever you're being pushed toward, know that it's happening for your highest good. You're being pushed toward your life purpose, whether it be personally or if it is involving a significant other that is emotionally committal. This can be the alignment that you've been wanting to achieve for some time, but you may have only had passionate conversations or ideas about it. You could be introduced to a counterpart or a business partnership that is willing to work or commit, & it will be like you weren't even seeing it come to you. You may be wiser from dealing with upsetting situations that may have made you feel like you want better in your life, & you may be done with setting for less. This person may be rushing in passionately to secure a new beginning with you that will bring fulfillment to the both of you. There may have been conflicts concerning this before if this was someone you knew before, but of not it was just a ruff time trying to achieve it. This offer is slow moving but it will be a justified effort to make a move in commitment. This will be a complete shock to the system, but as of now no real decision has been made.

♎: you may be prompted to take some kind of action, or this can be in regards to the person you're connecting with. The universe may be on your side in allowing change into your life & it is all for the greater good, but it is either something that is hidden from you at this time, or it is something that you're feeling some fears over. You may be clear that the action needed to be taken will get you out of a situation that makes you feel stuck or imprisoned. This is a decision that is really coming up as conflicting for you. You could be resisting change to happen, even though you are making a decision regarding your own personal power. You may be back & forth in your clarity on what action to take, but you may be wanting to get unstuck from a partnership. This connection was probably built on faulty foundations & was bound to fail, so your head is heald high & you're looking forward to a new beginning away from this. What is awaiting is a more firm foundation & a new passionate opportunity. There is still some indecision before overcoming these obstacles & progressing to your wish fulfillment & ultimately, satisfaction. The process to bringing balance to your situation is slow moving, though you are standing your ground for what it is you want to make for yourself.

*this reading is intended for sun, moon, rising & venus placements, energy is fluid not linear, we all have masculine & feminine energy, take what resonates, leave the rest*

[bubblelliot]

Here's my second character! I will also present their teammates a bit since the crew is much more like a family this time! (Might also add pics of the others in following posts and MAYBE of his animals too)

Særos Sandiel and The zookeepers

(This art is a picrew which I do not have the rights on, here is the link to it: https://picrew.me/image_maker/62745)

The name of the team mostly comes from a joke saying that "Mama Lyræ is our zookeeper and that we are the Zookeepers to a ton of pets. Also, Yarina can shapeshift into beasts sooooooo yeah.

Technicalities:

Særos is my very first character played in D&D. We actually started playing on the other game I talked about last time, but we switched to D&D. His character sheet is actually available on DND beyond, but I'm still gonna give details here.

Those are his attributes. (He actually got an additional point of charisma after I wrote this and was too lazy to take another screenshot sorry x) )

He is recorded as a high Elf, but is actually of two different bloodlines. He is VERY young for an elf, but his exact age is unknown (well yes but know, you'll see). He has 5 wizard and 2 cleric levels, making him currently level 7.

Equipment:

I am NOT gonna go through everything Særos has, cause that would be VERY long. He has a heavy armor, he has a staff of healing and a shortsword, but he mostly uses his magic. He also has, in his spellbook, a collection of dried flowers.

Familiars:

Særos has a TON of pets he acquired through the different quests the party went on. The first one is a frog named Lepiota he found wounded and saved. He then bought an old black cat he named Persephone (even if the cat is a male 😂). Finally, he also bought two ferrets (fluffy noodles ❤️❤️) which he named Elton and Freddy (this one was as a reference to one of our former player who really loves Elton John and Freddy Mercury). He loves them with all his heart and will absolutely kill anyone who tries to hurt his babies.

Allies:

Særos' main ally is, obviously, his twin, Edran. They are very similar, but Særos is usually pretty well kept with his short hair always brushed and his braids made every morning, whereas Edran is a bit shorter, more immature, usually pretty dirty with blood all over their clothes (which are poofy dressed he hides poison in 😂) and messy hair. There is also Lyræ. She is a paladin coming from far away lands. She is a human with elf ancestors and dragon blood. She has a wife and children and thus, she is pretty much the mom of the group. (The DM literally gave her two custom attacks she can use in RP: the flick of anger that gives 1pt of bludgeoning + 1pt of psychic damage and the disapproving look that gives 2pts of psychic damage everytime she does it + makes the target intimidated). Then, there is Finian, a human assassin. Finian and Særos are pretty neutral about each other, but Edran is in absolute admiration of him, so Særos is grateful that Finian doesn't just shatter his sibling's trust. The last member, who was actually someone that was rescued by the party, is Yarina. She is a very shy aasimar and is pretty much the definition of being pure EXCEPT she is obsessed with daggers (no joke, she has 23 of them). They were recently joined by a rogue elf called Adressin who actually attacked them at first.

Appearance:

This picrew is already pretty accurate. Særos (as well as Edran actually) has blond almost white hair, but it's actually fluffier than on the picture. He has two braids, one in front of each ear, a few freckles and red-pink eyes. He is very pale, quite small and very frail. He looks pretty androgynous and rather young, though he usually passes as a bit older since he is an elf.

Backstory and campaign:

So the campaign isn't really a big story like in Rhodrag's case, so I'll tell the party's story, but not the quests.

The twins' first memory is waking up in a bed, only knowing their name. They meet with the lovely wood elf lady who save them, and learn they were found in the sand by a nearby river. For that reason, they are given the last name "Sandiel".

They live a relatively normal life with her, for around 10 years, until they are attacked by drows. Their adopted mother successfully hides them by using magic and they learn they are wanted because they are part drow and part high-elf, meaning pretty much every every elven races will want to kill them. The woman successfully protects the twins. She is taken out of the house and, to this day, the twins don't know what happened of her, whether she was killed or taken.

They left and reached a nearby city. There, they survived by stealing and being street entertainers (for example, even if he has no rogue level, Særos is proefficient in stealth, sleight of hands, deception, etc. He also is proefficient in performance. He learned to sing, the art of divination and a bit of magic.)

One night though, Særos came back to their hiding place to find his sibling dead. All he could understand was that they died of both malnutrition and hypothermia.

Out of desperation, he tried every spell he knew, but nothing happened. He tried reanimation, but it had been to long. Out of despair, he prayed any god possible to help him, saying he couldn't live in this unfair world without Edran.

A god did answer. He is actually a god from the other game we started the campaign in before switching to DND.

He is called Nuodai the Trickster.

He offered a deal to Særos: he would bring back Edran and even guarantee him power and success, and in exchange, when Særos would be powerful enough, the Trickster would take his elven traits which hold part of his powers, as well as 200 years of his life. Out of desperation, Særos accepted.

He woke up the next morning. His sibling was by his side, clearly not dead, but not entirely alive. They were now a revived.

Things went on, Edran not knowing, and Særos eventually stopped thinking about the deal, only happy to have his twin back. They moved from the city, trying to reach a bigger one, and were, once again, attacked by drows. He used a spell to put his twin in safety and attacked the drows, but was, if course, neutralized.

He was taken and they made him a slave while they tried to capture Edran to kill them together.

Fast forward, Edran is taken into an underdark prison. He meets again with his brother and both if them are beaten up. They successfully defend though and they are thrown in a cell as it is decided they're are to be executed the next day. This is where they meet Lyræ and Finian.

They plan to escape as well as a few other NPCs. They are able to leave the cell and steal a bit of stuff while a vrock attacks the guards. They escape and reach a teleporter. There, Særos successfully brings everyone back to the surface. Newly free, they all start to look for a village. After properly introducing each others, they finally reach a tiny elf village. The twins stay as stealthy as possible but end up being noticed and attacked by guards. They then have a choice: they could be changed into simple would elves or they have to leave. Særos knows it's not gonna work on Edran, and bargains to be able to stay. At first, the headmaster threatens to kill him for that, but he ends up agreeing to let them in the city, guarded, until the night falls.

They then shop and leave the city.

They end up in a forrest Særos realizes is corrupted. There, they were attacked by a HUGE snake touched by the corruption. At first, everyone tries to kill it except Edran and quickly, Særos and Finian join them. Særos finally cuts the tip of it's tail where the corruption was and Edran and Finian calm it.

Lyræ is terrified of it and finally lets them all know that her best friend was killed by a giant snake who ate her alive. (This is freaking terrifying yo.)

In the end, a fight starts and Særos, enraged, leaves everyone and runs towards the center of the corruption. There he is attacked by corrupted elves and tree creatures we happily called Groots. Edran joins him and Særos basically rages (he used they most powerful spell he had and literally exploded them.

Edran, while attacking, starts gaining weird memories.

Fast forward to the end of the quest, Særos is happily searching for animals and flowers when he and Edran hear strange noises coming from a tree. Edran climbs it and a wood elf girl falls from the tree, before Edran jumps on her from the too of the tree.

The team introduced themselves to her and she happily talks to them. So yeah, that's how we met Nayhru.

The team reaches a weird village and after the whole snake incident, leaves the party for a while, promising to find them again soon and assuring she would always be closer than they think.

They reach the village which reveals to be a village of gnomes and there they meet with a gnome (who's player inspired the names of my furrets x) ) and a Goliath travelling together. They all find the village empty before being attacked by a troll and... Metal gnomes?

They kill them, uneager to die, and search the village. They find flowers in the middle of the village and Særos takes one for his collection. Særos and Edran are attacked by an ooze and at some point, the ooze attacks Edran just before being killed by Nayrhu. At that moment, Edran starts turning into a robot as well, with the corruption growing from their arm. Særos tries to cut off the arm, but us unable and the corruption takes Edran's whole body.

They leave the village and are able to find a Druid eager to help them make a cure for Edran and the gnomes, but he needs Elder sage. He describes it and Særos shows his flower to the Druid, who confirms it is Elder sage. They go back to the village to get flowers, cane back and turned Edran back into a flesh being.

And that's when they remembered dying and being brought back to life. Edran and Særos cried in each other's arms and then continued on.

They got in a cavern near the village from where the trolls always came. There, the found a girl, chained, with glowing wings. They freed her and she introduced herself as Yarina. (Fun fact: Yarina's player is my SO, and both Yarina and Særos have the spell suggestion, so when the crew found a the boss hiding something, we just made it run away. Nice. )

The team found a clockwork dragon and helped it. They then left again. Finian had to leave a couple times, and at some point, the team realized that, even if they are young, the twins were actually a lot older than they thought: They assumed Edran's death happened when they were around 13 and that it had been around 6 years, meaning Særos was actually around 19.

They were reunited with Lyræ and began other quests. In one of them, the team encountered a wishing fountain that filled any wish you had under certain conditions. Særos asked to know his whole story, from the lives of his parents up to now. The fountain gave him a magic book that tells his story and updates. It has no name so Særos just calls it The story book.

Some time passed and the team continued on. They were traveling to the capital until one night, Nayrhu and Edran caught a thief about to steal their stuff. They quickly stopped him and realized he was very young. Instead of kicking his butt, they woke up the whole team and decided together to bring him to the capital and help him make money to survive there. And that's how they met Adressin.

The zookeepers reached the capital where they are supposed to find Finian who joined outlaws he met in another quest.

Before finding Finian, they decided to do a few quests to earn money with Adressin.

Everyone through the day kept noticing Særos bring super bold, a lot bolder than he usually is, for example, telling Yarina who was wearing a magic dress that she looked "Incredibly beautiful" as if she was "made if pure light". No one really thought anything of it though and just shoved it away.

One night, they decided a drinking contest was a good idea and everyone joined except Adressin. The next morning, everyone was doing good, maybe a tad nauseous, except for Lyræ and Særos who were absolutely fucked up. They both used spells to heal their hangover, but Særos remained mildly unwell, choosing to go on their quest anyways.

Symptoms were the following:

-A headache that was mostly located to the top front of his head

-His low back itching and hurting a LOT

-His eyes feeling dry

No one really knew what was going on, some didn't even really notice.

As they went on with their first quest, they started noticing weird stuff about Særos' appearance: His hair looked more golden than white, as they used to, there were two bumps appearing on his forehead around the location of his headache, his eyes looked.... Weird...? But no one really saw anything peculiar, his skin, usually also white, now looked kinda pink.

He doesn't really notice the changes and doesn't understand what is happening which utterly FRIGHTENS him, but he hides it. Yarina started understanding what was happening and Edran out all the pieces together and now they know everything.

To be continued...

[monstrous-beauty]

Monstrous Beauty Text Posts

Jake: What (and i cannot stress this enough) the fuck/ sure. blame the guy who's a huge idiot who causes a lot problems, again/ Me in jail: so are you guys familiar with the cell block tango/ Apparently "the vibes are off" isn't a just excuse to leave work early/ what, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck/ what doesn't kill doesn't kill you/ yesterday at target the cashier said "your receipt is the bag* and I responded with "you too" so I've been dealing with that for the past 18 hours but I'm slowly coming to terms with it which is cool/ *enters my own password* i'm in/ due to personal reasons I will be cheating death/ *gets down on one knee* *gets down on the other* *doesn't get up ever*/ Not to be dramatic but if I don't get my life together I will die/ I have pure intentions, bitch! you can't kill me/ cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you me: yeah he was not very friendly

Storm: Which is messier my life or my hair/ "I am unknowable" I say as I overshare my biggest childhood trauma's in the first conversation with someone/ I love laying the FUCK down and sleeping/ me: [vibrating slightly because I had too much caffeine] everything in the world is my fault/ my only goal in life is to destroy the space-time continuum/ i am a huge fan of space, both outer and personal/ Yeah sex is great but have you looked at common English words and then followed their systematic time changes back through Old English and Proto-Germanic all to the way to their Proto-Indo-European roots, whispered one of those roots out loud, and been overwhelmed by a sense of Lovecraftian insignificance as it dawns on you that you just reached back across scores of centuries and spoke a word older than civilization itself?/ but i don't have a hyperfixation i'll die

Adrienne: im so tired of this life. i want to be a roomba. i want knives taped to me. i want to be set loose./ are my prophetic visions a joke to you/ There has been a lady inside my head screaming for the past 10 years and u think taking a bath and doing yoga will stop her? U are wrong. She is a very mad lady and she will not be silenced/ Cranky because you haven't had any prophetic dreams to aid you on your quest aren't you/ i wish it was 1600 so i cood spelle words howe everr my harte destyred/ me: *hangs out with little kids and tries to teach them self love and feminist ideas*/ Pros and cons of wearing all black pros: hot as hell cons: hot as hell/ If someone points at your black clothes and asks you who's funeral it is, a look around the room and casual "haven't decided yet" is a good response

Solais: mentally i'm at least 5"11. physically? don't worry about it/ don't call yourself edgy unless you talk to dead people and have daddy issues/ im a simple gal. people raise their voices at me, i cry for an hour/ once i figure out how to hold a conversation it's frienship for you bitches/ me: *is tiny* me: (;'._.');/ no homo bro *thinks about you* thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you*/ Listen man I'm just trying to wear soft sweaters and read my books and love myself/ i was put on this earth to eat bagels and be gay/ actually Ratatouille is the dish's name, you're thinking of Ratatouille's monster. im what the kids call

attention seeking/ me gay? why yes thank you for noticing/ on all levels except physical, i am a little heart shaped candy that says "i'm all yours!"/ nothing is awkward or cheesy if you don't give a fuck. i'm on this earth to have a good time. not to be cool./ i aspire to be one of those people who is known for always smelling good and treating people kindly/ big heart energy/ me @ you: >> this is my protecting women and girls knife/ doing violence tonight so watch out if you're weak to attacks/ why did my last two braincells have to be a sad one and a stupid one/ goes to the kitchen holds a knife in my hand for a while. puts it back. goes back to my room

Mal: these hands rated e for everyone/ forgive me father for I have sinned in all the coolest and most glamorous ways possible/ "I expected better from you" well that was your fault lmao i got nothing to do with that/ im beautiful im delicious i literally cannot die i want 200 dollars/ friendly reminder that i literally cannot die, and id love to see any of you fuckers try to take me down/ Slutty in theory but not in practice/ I just wannna be vaguely unsettling, not even scary or creepy, I just want people to look at me and feel like there's something A Little Bit Wrong but they don't know what when they tell the story of the slighty cryptid being to their friends later/ Hmmm gay rights but only for me i think? The rest of you are on your own/ i say i'm gay a lot for someone who is technically bisexual/ occupation: the family disappointment/ [steps on my emotions and grinds them under my heel] anyways/ i am evil and not straight/ me: breathes parents: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR ATTITUDE/ you ever listen to your dad talk and be like "why are you like this?"/ dont you hate when you wake up and you're awake/ oh god...oh fuck...*yearns*/ Due to personal reasons I'll be going feral/ Quitting school to become a plant who wants to join me we can make a forest/ Anyways! *climbs out of the scattered and ruined debris of my feelings*/ so what if i love you. shut up/ i ask myself 48 times a day "am I being dramatic? Is this #toomuch?" the answer is always yes of course/ *lawyer voice* eat a dick, your honor/ I may seem like an asshole but deep down I'm good person and even deeper down I'm a bigger asshole/ in my defense, i was left unattended

[catboyebooks]

this one hit different on the replay, i'll be honest. there's a lot more going on during this trial than i remembered. basically everyone except naegi and kirigiri (who can both alibi each other) gets accused of murdering sakura at some point, and two people did actually attack her! but really, what stuck in my mind from this was 1) asahina's attempts to misdirect the trial and 2) how togami reacts to the outcome of this trial.

i won't recap in too much detail for brevity's sake but essentially, asahina knows it's a suicide from the get-go, but since she found the fake suicide note monokuma wrote rather than the real one from sakura, she thinks sakura killed herself due to being shunned by the group and thinks they all deserve to die for this. so she tries to pressure everyone into voting as quickly as possible, no matter who the suspect is — once it's been established that it wasn't hagakure or fukawa, she pins the blame on herself. this whole plan was very last-minute on her part and so the deception falls apart quite easily (ultimately no one holds it against her that she tried this, they get why), except that togami believes her initial confession. to him it seems reasonable that she'd take advantage of sakura being in a weakened state and he can't fathom that someone would try to throw the game like she did. kirigiri calls him out on this and says he's going to keep making mistakes if he doesn't take other people's feelings into account, from a logical standpoint if nothing else. this is the point at which togami finally decides he's not going to attempt to win the killing game and instead wants to stop it entirely (he claims he won't play anymore bc Clearly no one else is taking it seriously). i think i've already said this but i really like this as character development for him. it's understated but represents a pretty significant shift in his mindset. also fuck whatever i said about brevity up there this is a whole paragraph now

i did also want to talk about sakura, though. i haven't really said much about her and i think it's interesting to look at the bigger picture of how the others treat her throughout the game, and the conclusion that comes to here. obviously once it comes out she's the spy that causes togami, hagakure, and fukawa to become highly suspicious of her, not without reason, but this doesn't represent a huge shift in attitude towards her. many if not most of the students have expressed that they're afraid of / intimidated by her, especially early on in the game (naegi's guilty of this, too). even if they aren't steering clear of her out of fear or distrust, no one save asahina ever really makes an extra effort to check on her or make sure she's doing alright, presumably figuring someone so big and strong can take care of herself, even though she's been carrying around a very heavy emotional burden in secret. now like... sakura's a lovely person, her intentions towards the group are honorable, i'm sure if they'd all had adequate time to get to know her &/or weren't trapped in a killing game they'd come to view her as a friend. after all, she thinks of them as friends, and doesn't seem to hold anyone's distrust of her against them. her suicide note says she hopes that with her death, the rest of the group can band together to take down the mastermind. but even asahina, who knew her best, falls for the fake suicide note that essentially implies the opposite about how she felt. it's just. back on the theme of distrust / the circumstances they're in fostering that distrust. i think this marks sort of a turning point in this game, though, where they're realizing they're being manipulated into distrusting each other — especially since this is when togami ditches the every-man-for-himself attitude and naegi and kirigiri are working through the aftermath of a fight over not trusting each other. i'm also pretty sure this continues to be a major theme in chapter 5 (the naegi/kirigiri drama isn't over yet) but i guess we'll see.

also i legitimately forgot that alter ego (or, well, the laptop) got "executed" this time. i don't know how i forgot this. i'm not really sure what i thought was going to happen instead. although on that note i do remember that when i first read the LP of this game i called it early on this being a suicide and i really thought her corpse was gonna get put through whatever execution had been planned for her anyway, like i remember being so sure that that was what was going to happen

i finished the trial but i have work so i'll get us caught up in the morning. or like. whenever im online next