#it's so furstrating

[thefailureartist]

Shoutout to all the amazing concept art and designs that got cut or watered down because the art director had bad taste.

[lucifer-kane]

Guy who’s only listened to TMA listening to any other podcast. Getting a lot of TMA from this one

[septiccoffeefreak]

Can we stop acting like liking the popular thing means you're awful? And while we're at it can we stop assuming we can tell someone's sexuality based on their taste???

[clockwaysarts]

Finally have new pen tips on the way! Hopefully that will make drawing less a pain! I do still need to replace my tablet but we're limping along until I can afford to! Now time to get on a few outstanding tasks (and maybe... open some chibi comms?? While I try to get into a place I can open my store but for real).

[icewindandboringhorror]

feeling sick constantly in the background all the time is like.. usually negligible-ish.. until multiple various chronic background issues all happen to overlap at once and then it’s like 

[yudgefudge]

why do I search jadon sancho on this site and it's just mason and jude x readers with jadon inexplicably tagged in them you people are abnormal

[notaplaceofhonour]

.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

Archon War anon - and no worries if you thought that just Osial and Chi were enough! It's just that the way it gets talked about, I always felt like there had to be just a ton more gods fighting?

no absolutely! it does get talked about like it's thousands of them. which, like i mention in the previous ask (i know i should've read and answered this one in the previous also but i didn't check lmao) is also a huge hole of information that we simply do not have in-game. we don't know who the fuck was morax fighting. they tell us osial isn't the only one buried under guyun, but haishan can't be there bc beidou is the one that kills him, and beisht is out and about, so who tf is? i can't see liyue going to war with sal vindagnyr nor mondstadt or sumeru, let alone fontaine, and we know for a fact that he did not fight havria (...right?). so who was it?

chenyu vale did tell us that there was a different god in charge of that area, and i think it either also tells us or we can assume that said god had several adepti-equivalents with them that also fought morax? but if its only adepti-equivalents were fujin n co, then that leaves only the god to fight since those three deserted. it likely wasn't only those three but still, i can't remember rn. my point stands.

one of he books mentions that the dunyu ruins were home to a different god altogether? i think? but we don't know the age of those ruins. and even then, they're the exact same architectural stlye as the rest of liyue, for the most part. like the only time i've seen non-guili style architecture in liyue (that isn't the domains or the chasm) was in yelan's story quest? i think? which took place under qingxu pool??? so there might've been a god there. there's also a sea god mentioned in another one of the books. we don't know who tf that was, if they were even real, or if their timeframe even matches the archon war.

so again, i think the best explanation we have so far is that we know of no gods that fought morax (beyond osial n chenyu vale's lord) because the way we find that out in-game in other regions is if they had another civilization to their own. kinda how deshret and rukkadevata had their own people (though those two didn't fight). so if we see no other sign of a civilization other than the guili assembly in liyue, then we stand to reason that the entirety of the nation (bar chenyu vale? but even then the ruins there are the exact same style so) was one unified nation.

which would mean it was a china situation, where everyone fought eachother within the same nation until only morax remained standing. which is why we don't know of anyone else – they left no marks of having had a civilization of their own, and so we cannot know if they ever did exist. the only reason why we know havria and chenyu vale's god existed is because the game told us about them. if the game hadn't told us, and we'd only seen the ruins of their civilization, we would've found the exact same style of the guili assembly and then assumed morax simply controlled those places as well.

osial is a different topic entirely, i don't think he counts hahah

edit: forgot about xiao's master, so i guess that's another confirmed god he fought? alongside chi, whom i also forgot about. still, i think chi was more of a land beast than a god with a people, and xiao's master i have no clue about. (am i tripping or did chenyu vale insinuate that the god in charge of that area was xiao's master?????? maybe i'm just confused. if it was, that just takes one god off the list, since xiao's master and chenyu's lord could've been the same person. if not, i've no fucking clue where xiao's master fits into all of this. like i'm not sure if it's ever stated that it was a god from liyue? it must've been. but then, where were his people? did he even have any? idk. you get my point)

[twinksauron]

on my third (?) twin peaks rewatch so once again time for me to horribly upset abt audreys butchered character storyline...

[travestismo]

I have blood tests and a psychiatry appointment next week, and if everything goes well I might be starting hrt the week after. I am excited but I am also very nervous and it's almost the only thing I can think about lol. I find it very hard to concentrate on anything else right now

[deunmiu-dessie]

(unedited) simon loves you, he's just not the best at showing or saying it.

"no, simon. you don't-," you swallow thickly and forcefully pull your wrist away from his grip. "- you don't get to leave and come back when it's convenient for you." your lips are set but they wobble, teetering with the storm of emotions brewing within you. "i'm done trying. i can't do, whatever this…this twisted game is between us." [i’m sorry.]

he's been silent your whole talk, he seems so stoic as if the conversation is a hassle- like he could care less; and maybe he could. you can never guess what simon was feeling. he was like an impenetrable wall, unwavering— even for you; it left you feeling alone most days.

your eyes flit over his face, hoping to see something, anything that would make you second guess what you were saying. but as usual, he’s unreadable; and tears well up in your eyes as you continue, your voice trembling with a mixture of something akin to pleading and sadness. "i've given you countless chances, simon. i've allowed you to come and go as you please, hoping that one day you would realize the love i have for you. but i can't keep living in this constant state of uncertainty, never knowing when you'll decide to leave again." [no more, never again will i leave you. i swear it.]

you take a deep shuddering breath, trying to steady yourself, but the pain in your chest hurts fiercely. it steals your breath away, and flushes your cheeks with heat. "i deserve better than this, simon. i deserve someone who will be there for me, someone who won't treat me like an option. i can't keep waiting for you to change, to finally see my worth." [i see you. i love you with every breath that i take. until my lungs give out.]

your words hang heavy in the air, you wait for him to say something, to tell you that he loves you, that he’ll do anything to get you to stay. say something, you think. "i've spent too long trying to make this work, trying to convince myself that your attention is enough. but it's not. it's never been enough." [say something! tell her you love her, that you'd die for her. say something, simon.]

a singular, angry and furstrated tear escapes, tracing a path down your cheek. "i deserve a love that is whole, that is unwavering. i deserve someone who will fight for me, who will choose me every single day. and if you can't be that person, then i have to let you go." [don't say that, please. i love you.]

your brows furrow and your chin sets, your hands coiling into fists. tears flow in rivulets down your cheeks and you lift one fist and hit his chest weakly. “say something, you coward.” you utter, your other fist raises to hit him once again. “i hate that i love you so much, i hate you for being the only thing that i think about. i hate you simon.” [i love you, so much that you're the only thing i think about. i love you _____.]

your punches get heavier but he's unmoving, a tic starting in his jaw. in a sudden burst of frustration, you shove at him, your lips pressed tightly together, and your cheeks burning. yet, he remains motionless, his gaze steady and unwavering. “say something, damn it!” you wail, preparing to hit him again, however, his large hands swiftly seize your raised fist before you can and he pulls you into his chest, cupping the nape of your neck and engulfing you in…him. "i love you."

and you know you shouldn't but you melt in his arms, go completely slack, and cry harder. “then say that.” simon presses a kiss to your temple, and you freeze at the tremble of his lips, his chest rumbling as he speaks again. “i love you so much.” and just like that, he reeled you back in, just like he always does; and it felt like coming home. the familiarity of his touch, the warmth of his embrace, it all felt so right, as if you were finally where you were meant to be.

but you knew that as soon as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, that the cracks in your situationship would begin to show. and part of you can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, you were fated to live this exact bittersweet cycle with simon until the end of time.

my eyes were sweating a little when i was writing this ngl

[kirishwima]

the tattoo itchiness has begun. help

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 7

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Finished all of the little things I carved out of avocado pits, will maybe post pictures at some point? I painted some sections (like for the eye I carved, I made part of it white for contrast, etc.) and then generally glazed them with some shiny paint stuff. Now I really wish I had more avocado pits, I was unsure at first, but I have some new ideas.. I want to try inlaying stones like I've seen in some pictures, similar to the same ones I use for eyes in my sculptures. >:3 (random google image example of the stones inside, like this sort of thing V)

Low effort/small house cleaning tasks, did a few dishes, put up laundry, organized things, put up the recycling, paid bills, etc.

Still extremely sleepy and unfocused, it was hot last night and the cats woke me up multiple times so I only got a few hours of sleep and barely had any energy to do anything and also had a headache and back pain a lot of the day. ToT

Finally made an appointment I was supposed to make like 4 days ago lol..

Gave wet food to the cats (this is an ordeal because George eats way faster than Noodle, so I have to separate them and stand guard so George doesn't vacuum his up immediately then run over and try to eat all of his brothers food.. evil boy must be watched to prevent his crimes )

Edited videos for like.. 15 minutes but still have not been very productive on that front (or editing costume photos or anything) due to shoulder pain and stuff making it hard to type/use mouse much on the computer. grrbbb >:V

Spent 10 minutes looking up a weird pendant I had in my rock collection area and found out it's an old piece of costume jewelry from the 60s(?) and could be worth like $200 potentially, which is cool. I'm not sure if I'll sell it though because I do think it's quite unique and good for a prop when making wizard character inventories, etc, and I'd never be able to find anything like it again (it's this one below.. it's very weird.. looks like something a mage would have lol)

Translated the tapestry text for 5 minutes, and got out some tubs of clothes to start organizing them to sell outfits and stuff online, but then felt ill and had to go lay down so now the tubs are just sitting out on the floor ghgh..

Notable sights: It rained a bit and the sky was very pretty at one point. Didn't get to go outside today due to schedule/low energy, so no clovers or anything. Saw a fat squirrel out the window once though. Also when I was looking through my "rock collection" (which also includes marbles, dice, pieces of glass, stones, gems, rubber balls, seashells, smooth wood, jewelry scraps, etc. ggh.. really more "shiny things collection" but it's mostly rocks, so) for interesting stones to possibly put into avocado pits in the future, I saw a lot of pretty rocks I hadn't thought about in a while, so that was nice.

Goals moving forward: Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Nothing really.. but it's an asparagus day tomorrow I think so.. >:)c hehehehe... Oh, I did try a bite of corn, which I really really love corn but am not supposed to have it on my diet. The miniscule morsel was sufficiently cherished. Still craving hearty stuff despite resuming my iron supplements lol..

[dumbbitchgalore]

“I said I was sorry, Birdie…” - Old man!Price 💕

"Oh god... please Birdie... Fuck, said 'm sorry dollface..."

John huffs on all fours as he buries his head into the plush pillow, gripping it to keep him sane from your ministrations.

You had your head buried in between his arse cheek, dutifully licking his puckering hole as your tongue pokes and prodes it ever so slightly.

Pulling your head back, you let a long string of saliva drip from your mouth onto his arsehole as it makes its way down his balls and onto the bedsheet. John groans at the sensation, every small touch sending his mind into oblivion.

"But I haven't accepted your apology yet." You smack his backside, leaving a light handprint on his pale skin, a reminder of his lack of outdoor duties since retirement.

His groan morphs into a desperate whine as you continue to chide him.

"And this is how you repay me? Going behind my back, working on the sidelines with Laswell." Another smack reverberates off the bedroom walls.

"You're my fucking mutt now, not the damn government's. You listen to me and if I say no working, that means no working." You whisper in his ear as you give his hair a harsh tug, earning a hiss from him.

John goes to refute you but seems to lose his arguement as he hears the squelch of the lube bottle as you smear it over your fingers. He keeps his mouth shut, lowering his head back onto the pillow as his backside is arched so that it's easier for you.

An acceptance of his punishment emits from his silence, your slicked fingers rubbing up and down his arsehole before slowly making its way into his hole as it flutters around your digits. Letting out a shaky breath, he lets you continue lazily pump your fingers. You sense his slight tenseness and place a chaste kiss on his cheek.

"You've always got your safe word, Hun." You mutter opening him on your your fingers, his juices dripping down your fingers. You hold back a groan at the unholy sight in front of you, the desire to worship rather than punish agonisingly intoxicating but you relent at showing him a shread of mercy.

John nods slowly, "Yeah, kiddo. I know... Keep- keep going, sweetpea." croaks out.

Placing another kiss on his cheek, you thrust your digits brutally plunging into his hole. His soft, chubby cock leaking onto the bed, staining the sheets as you pursue your onslaught, each thrust rougher than the previous. You anger and furstrations taken out on his poor hole, your desire to keep him close to you, safe with you after retirement fueling your resentment against his actions.

As your fingers reach the sweet, velvetly spot inside of him, John lets out a shudder. His legs quivering in anticipation, as you smile sweetly at his desperation. Letting the pads of your finger run over his sweet spot, you pepper his arse cheeks with kisses as you reach around him tugging his cock gently.

He shivers at the sensation, babbling praises and admissions of love and need. His body gives into your touches, cock soft as it starts to let out spurts of milky liquid coating your hand in his release.

Chuckling softly, you take your fingers out of his hole and unwrap your hand around his cock. You lick your fingers clean, before leaning down and giving his arsehole one last cleaning as you lick reverently.

John's body is slumped against the bed, panting softly as he comes down from his high. You caresses his backside, peppering it in kisses- a silent apology of your anger.

Sighing softly, you kiss you his spine making your way to his ear.

"I need you alive, my love. Can't do this whole living without you, big bear." You mutter against his ear, kissing the shell of it as John's quiet snores fill up your bedroom.

[ruershrimo]

no because imagine pining for fushiguro megumi. like, that would be the most frustratingly confusing thing ever omg.

you’re trying to get closer to him; close enough to know his favourite colour, the music that’s playing in his earbuds and the dishes he loves to eat.

so you text him and this boy is DRY. hella dry. you text as casually as you can even though you know that a) your crippling social awkwardness hinders you from acting ‘cool’ with anything and b) how are you supposed to keep calm when he’s your crush and you’re that down bad? (and you really are. just one glance from him has your knees buckling and nobara facepalming.) yet each time you text him, he doesn’t like any of your messages, and seems to love leaving you on read. not that he’d be doing it on purpose— megumi is, in fact, not chronically online and is probably busy whenever he isn’t replying to you. but why wouldn’t he be prioritising you if he did like you?

so does he not like you? is there any way to change his mind?

yet this is what makes it so furstrating and confusing— he gives you hope. Because why is he sharing exam notes he made for you just so he could share them with you? and yet when you’re jumping around in your room like a loon and kicking your feet up in the air, he sends another text:

‘thought you might want them, since you’re the only person who wants them.’ which is true— so would he have sent it to yuji and nobara if they cared more about their grades? is he just sending it to you since you’re the only option? would he give them to anyone else if he had a choice?

it’s so confusing!

and when you thank him and give your notes to him as an ‘exchange’ (you’re just so deep in your delusions that you think sending him your notes will impress him somehow) he just writes, ‘thanks’. no capitals, no exclamation marks, no emojis whatsoever— just BONE DRY TEXTING.

then when you say goodnight to him, and he says goodnight to you, telling you to have sweet dreams and a good rest with the blandest of emojis ever: classic ‘😀’ and that goofy ‘👍’. ugh! does he like you or not?

it’s so bad that it’s reached the point you’re texting him without any hope left. full-on check-ups every day on him even though you know he doesn’t like you back. even if nobara and yuji say that he barely replies to either of them daily and never wishes them so much as a ‘good luck’ before a test, a ‘good job’ for a mission well-completed, or a ‘goodnight’, much less a ‘sweet dreams’, you’re not king to have that hope. you’re not going to believe that he likes you— you chalk it up to him just being nice, as much as you’d like to be wrong.

so you’re surprised and absolutely elated when he says that he likes you over text, and then again face-to-face.

you swallow your sense of embarrassment as best as you can, trying to level your head with his outside your classroom.

“you’re so confusing…” you tell him before kissing his flushed cheek.

bye this is so stupid help. can you tell that the confusing part is based on real life events. why is he like this

[megumisgirl]

megumi boyfriend headcanons!

— when you guys first started dating, he was no where near the touchy-feely boyfriend. all you got were hugs, kisses on the forehead and sometimes, if you were lucky long deep passionate kisses that came out of nowhere. all in private of course, megumi likes to keep things that is between you guys between you guys, he doesn't tell gojo, yuuji, nobara, anyone.

— when you guys had your first fight, he was super furstrated. screamed a bit and let his hidden anger issues show (you can thank toji for that). in the spur of the moment, out of furstration and pent up sexual-anger he ran his hands through his hair, making you flinch. he immidietly stopped talking and just left the room. the topic you guys were fighting about wasn't cleared up, you both were obviously angry, and now with this, you both were going to have a conversation that none of you wanted.

— the next few days of the fight, megumi would try to talk to you but you would give him the silent treatment. it was a no-win situation, if you tell him you flinched for nothing, he'd feel horrible to even make you think that he was capable of hitting you. if you told him the real reason, a dark looming thought in your mind told you that maybe he wouldn't accept you for who you are. maybe he would leave you. people started to notice that you and megumi weren't together as much.

"meeeegumiiii" gojo cooed, making megumi roll his eyes, "did you and y/n have a fight? you can tell me. im basically your second father. not that im gay. i mean i could be, but like the sex-" "no." megumi stopped gojo, putting his hand in front of him, "we're not in a fight. and its a disagreement. we'll be fine." he'd already said too much for someone who says nothing. but he had too much in his mind, so the words just spilled out.

— after the intial conversation, at first, megumi didn't know how to comprehend what you just said to him. he never had to comfort someone and he was never comforted either, so he based himself on your position and did everything right. my man. he was sweet, gentle, and never judged you.

— megumi got comfortable with affection about seven-nine months into the relationship only because you were so touchy, other wise would've taken four years or smth. and his level of affection is holding-hands in public, and holding your hands above your head in private, if you catch my meaning...

— when he met your parents, he was PROPERRR. mans was dressed in a fucking suit, styled his hair right instead of the spikey usual hair, and showed the barest amount of physical affection to assure your parents their daughter is in the right hands.

— but when you met his, it was CHAOS lmaooo. toji was showing you all the embarassing baby pictures of megumi on purpose to embarass him. his step-wise called him embarassing nicknames like bubbles or pineapples or something and you couldnt believe why megumi was the way he was when they were like this.

truth be told, megumi was made for you (and me).

NSFW cannons.

— i said this once and i'll say it again. MEGUMI IS A ROUGH DOM!!! man-handles you every chance he gets, whether it's spreading your legs apart so roughly that there are bruises on his hands on your thighs, or flipping you over to pound you from behind. he will do it all.

— favourite position, anything where he can see you. missionary, to some extent matting press? he loves to see you squeeze your eyes, arch your bag and whine inconsistent pleas. he loves to see the full of personality character that he's so into just dissappear as he pounds into you mercilessly. the perfect smart girl becoming a bimbo that he loves to use and fuck.

— has a thing for eye-contact. BEFORE U THROW TOMATOS AT ME... LISTEN OKAY..1!!1!! when you're giving head, he grips your jaw so he can see your eyes as he fucks your mouth, tears streaming down your face, getting mixed with the tastes of his arousal. when its you recieving, he is adamant about eye-contact.

he has been inbetween your leg for hours, absolutely devouring you while making you watch. your eyes are sore, your legs are sore, everything is sore. you cant move an inch without feeling sensitive and your entire body just shakes as he laughs at you, looking at you with his blue eyes. "look at me." he said, the vibrations from his throat hitting your soaked cunt as you whimpered, opening your eyes just enough for new tears to leave your face. making a thin smirk place on his lips. his tounge circled your bud, making you shut your eyes again. "eye-contact, or this stops."

— dirty talker. and not just any dirty talker, the sweet praise ones. "my little slut," "taking me so well, baby. you're such a whore, but.. you're my whore," FHBYIEDWUSOKPX

— ending on a positive note, he's good at aftercare, too. after an intense session, he will draw you a bath and just sit on the edge of the tub, drawing mindless circles on your arm as you rest in the warm bath. ocasionally stealing kisses from you as he watched you take a bath. he's just... perfect.