#it's so flat canonically because they like barely interact

[lightseoul]

REVENGE (KEEP US TOGETHER) (1.9k)

a/n. this bkg lives rent-free in my mind. i had scenes and interactions that i wanted to insert in this scenario, but i think i blacked out 300 words in and bakugou and y/n just took the reins from there. anyway, i hope y'all enjoy this one!

c.w. pro-hero!katsuki, aged up (~26), mentions of injuries, mentions of canon-typical violence

the first thing that registers in your mind the moment your eyes flutter (creak) open is that the ceiling looks unfamiliar.

the second thing is that everything hurts like a motherfucking bitch.

but apparently being in a wholly foreign place is enough to trigger the metaphorical alarms in your head, at least enough for you to still muster the strength and presence of mind to scan the area—first, the space on your right—despite the way your body’s practically screaming at you.

what immediately catches your attention is your right arm. it’s nowhere in sight, but you can still vaguely recognize it being attached to the rest of your torso. it takes you a second to realize it’s elevated and wrapped in a thick, white cast, and the moment you do, another wave of pain courses through you, and you find yourself gritting your teeth in its wake.

a few feet behind your heavily bandaged arm seem to be two doors, one of which you think is the entrance to this dimly lit room, the other probably leading to a comfort room.

and, if all of these aren’t indicators enough, the faint beeping sound echoing across the small area gives you the definitive answer that yes, this is a hospital and yes, you are on a fucking hospital bed.

how the fuck did you end up here?

stifling a groan, you attempt to turn your head to the left to examine the other half of the room.

and that’s when you see it.

you freeze—not because the minuscule movement is causing a nauseating throbbing in your frontal lobe—but because you see it.

the all-too-familiar, unruly ash-blonde spikes that can belong to only one person.

from where you lay flat on top of the increasingly uncomfortable bed, you can barely see his forehead, but there’s no denying it.

even more so when the person speaks up.

“you’re awake.”

upon hearing his gruff voice, your stomach instantly drops in dread, so much so that it physically hurts, and you’re starting to think that maybe you’re bleeding internally, too, and that in the midst of whatever happened to you, you hurt your organs as well.

when he says your name in question a few beats later, you make no move to respond, but deep down you know you can’t just close your eyes and pretend you’re asleep again to avoid regarding him entirely.

he literally saw you moving just now.

and so you try to sit up, at least for a whole millisecond, because a pulse of pain shoots through the entirety of your body, and you can’t help the wrangled moan that tumbles out of your lips at the scalding sensation. you barely see him through your half-lidded eyes, but the man jumps up on his feet, finally coming into full view.

bakugou, who’s decked out in full hero gear is looking uncharacteristically worried when he asks: “are you okay?”

you clench your eyes closed, fighting the urge to squirm in discomfort. you merely shake your head, as subtly as you can lest you bust a fucking nerve on your neck, before: “elevate my backrest. i can’t sit up.”

“shit, right.”

it takes him a beat to figure out the controls at the side of your bunk, but when he finally does, you find yourself slowly inclining up until to about 45 degrees.

up 45 degrees and now face-to-face with him.

once the contraption clicks into place, bakugou sits back down on what looks like a stool beside you, an inexplicable expression etched on his features.

and before you can even think better against them, the words are already out of your mouth.

“what are you doing here?”

that must not have been what he was expecting or wanting to hear, because his face immediately contorts into a look of borderline offense.

“the fuck do you mean ‘what am i doing here’?” he scoffs, folding his muscled arms across his expansive chest. “you almost got abducted, dumbass. you’re lucky you made it out alive.”

abducted?

the last thing you remember before you most likely blacked out and were sent to the hospital was that you were just exiting the grocery store that you frequent on Fridays after work when an oddly familiar-looking man appeared before you. he didn’t seem too harmless right up until he emitted his quirk that sent you tumbling across the asphalt and…

that’s just about where your memory cuts off.

“what happened?” you manage to choke out, suddenly feeling scared.

“as i said,” he starts, voice low and strangely hesitant, “you almost got abducted. you passed out after you hit the neighboring building arm first, but a pro-hero patrolling the area managed to get you before the villain could take you with him.”

you gawk at the man. “what the hell would a villain want to do with me?”

at that, bakugou’s face hardens.

“…’s because they want to get back at me.”

a million things beg to be spoken out of your mouth in an instant, but what you end up saying is: “why are you here, then? shouldn’t you be with the police or in the agency if this guy’s got a vendetta against you?”

“seriously?” he retorts, incredulous, before shaking his head in what you think is frustration. his eyes shift to the rest of your body, “you’re fucking injured and yet you’re asking all these stupid questions.”

you feel yourself flame in indignation, but you bite your tongue. if you allow yourself to speak, you may end up saying something you’ll regret later.

“…but if you must know,” he pipes up all of a sudden, catching you off guard, “they said i was your emergency contact.”

his voice is quiet when he asks: “you didn’t change it?”

you gulp despite yourself. thankfully, his eyes remain trained on yours and do not drift down to your throat.

“i forgot to,” you lie out of your ass.

you are not about to tell him it’s because you haven’t had the heart to remove him as your favorite contact, let alone delete his number.

“well…” he starts, diverting his gaze onto the pillow beside you, “…that and the fact that this villain has been after me ever since he got out of prison. fucking bastard can’t accept i apprehended him so fast back then. guess it hurt his fucking ego and wanted revenge.”

you stare at the pro-hero, debating as to whether or not to say the next thing, ultimately deciding for it.

“…and he was planning to do that by hurting me.”

bakugou’s eyes drift towards you again at your statement, a serious glint in them, although he doesn’t say anything in response.

a long pause.

“why didn’t you just tell them we aren’t together anymore?” you finally ask. “you could’ve just referred them to my family or best friends or something.”

“and have them be on my ass about us breaking up?” he quips almost instantaneously. “you were rushed to the er—i didn’t have time for that shit. and in case you’ve forgotten from that time they found out about us—”

“of course i haven’t,” you cut him off, eyes trained downcast on your fiddling fingers. “it wasn’t like i wanted the media to find out we were together in the first place. my point is that it would save you a lot of trouble if we just suck it up and announce it. that way, you won’t have to play pretend and be forced to be my guardian, and i don’t get targeted by vengeful villains anymore.”

when you finally look up at the man, the frown that found its place on bakugou’s mouth at the start of your spiel has apparently now deepened into a scowl.

“what?” you ask before you can rein yourself in.

“i’m sorry you got hurt,” he states sternly. “ i should’ve kept a closer eye on you despite everything, and i’m taking full responsibility for what happened. but—”

“—katsuki,” you try to interject.

“—but don’t think i’m in front of you right now just because i feel guilty or that i just didn’t want to deal with the fucking press,” he huffs. “i—”

you wait for a moment for him to continue, but he doesn’t. his mouth only opens as if he’s going to say something before it closes again, then opens, and closes.

despite yourself, your heart physically aches at the sight of him struggling to verbalize his feelings. you hesitate for a second, before finally deciding to say it.

“…i know what you mean.”

at that, bakugou whips to look at you, an almost imperceptible, stunned expression on his sullen features. “you do?”

you nod. “…i still care for you, too, you know? even if i try to talk myself out of it, i still find myself going through the news all the time to make sure you’re alright.”

and you really, really do.

because, at the end of the day, you didn’t break up because you fell out of love or anything remotely close to that.

it was an amicable agreement to part ways because you had absolutely little to no time for each other—what with bakugou’s demanding schedule as a rising pro-hero—and almost every little time he had free was always in conflict with your own career.

you both tried to make it work, you really did—adjusting and compromising and adapting in every way you could—but when it all boiled down to it you were always left disappointed, frustrated, and frustratingly yearning for each other.

and so before the love you’ve carefully cultivated together could morph into ugly resentment—with you hating each other—you both decided to just call it quits.

you chance a glance at the man, whose gaze has visibly softened at your admission.

and you wish you really couldn’t, or you wish you’d forget how to recognize it, but you can’t deny the look of what you’ve long identified as longing that’s written all over his face.

but before you can say anything about it, a soft array of knocks resonates from the door, catching both of your attention.

not a few seconds after, a nurse squeezes herself through the entrance, holding a clipboard close to her chest.

“sorry to interrupt your conversation,” she starts, painfully timid, “but i just wanted to inform you that the premiere suite is now ready, and we can now move the patient there.”

you whip (as much as you can, at least) to look at bakugou, who only shoots you a look telling you to just roll with it. you purse your lips in a thin line, itching to protest, but manage to not say anything as the nurse continues.

“…i’ll also have to talk to mr. bakugou later on as he is your registered guardian. i’ll just drop by again later in the suite so i can take your vitals as well. that’s basically it for now, thank you!”

and just as fast as she appeared, the nurse was gone.

when you’re sure she’s out of earshot, you turn to the man. “this is too much, katsuki.”

he merely shakes his head but again, doesn’t say anything.

you stare at him for a few more beats before finally sighing in what you feel is resignation.

this is going to be a long night.

tagging. @bunnysaursushii @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @elarakive @sugurusmoon @k0z3me

˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 my asks are always open as well. have a lovely day, y'all!

[factual-fantasy]

21 asks! Thank you! :}} 😶‍🌫️

I mean this in the nicest way possible.. but crossing my boundaries/going against my wishes is still bad even if its in private/in secret. Please just don't make any kind of fanart based on my stuff. I just want interactions. 😔

@neo-metalscottic

Hello! My days been a little rough, but at least I haven't seemed to catch that cold yet! <:D

As for the Sun and Moon.. I'm kind'a on the fence about my AU ngl. I don't want a repeat of Octonauts where people just yoink all my ideas and copy all my designs. So atm I'm not open to sharing anything I've made for them.. sorry <:/

As for your Mario ask, the clown cars are a thing! :0 They just are shaped a bit differently and Bowsers doesn't have a goofy face in his XD its the koopalings that painted faces on their mini ones.

@aamin-original

Google translation: "I love your character! It is very original and looks very charismatic! I hope you see this message, I really want you to continue drawing, you draw very beautifully."

:DD Thank you!! Though I don't know when I'll post next.. getting my Octonauts art and my original characters traced has been pretty frustrating.

@obtainedtinyteeth

Uhg, such a shame that you found me through stolen artwork. But hey there's a master post here for all my FNAF stuff so.. there's that.

Also thank you <:))

I have not, so I have no opinion on the story or characters <:/

Sorry, but atm I'm not really open to talking about the plans for my AU. I'm keeping it all private until further notice..

@beryl-shade

I'm not really open to talking about my AU right now.. But I can talk about the NPCs :0

When it comes to the background/crowd NPCs like the candy land citizens, as seen here-

They are not as sentient or as advanced as Gummigoo and his buddies. They don't have unique bodies, personalities or names, they are just bare bones NPC coded to just stand in the crowd and follow a script.

Same as he does in canon. He's just Caines goofy A.I. assistant :0

@glitchhayden418

I have no idea what you're referring to <XD

@paulacooks

I'm not open to sharing much, but I will say I have plans to make Jax more likable. He's so rotten in canon <XD

@jdsstudio

Now why they'd have to go and bring Mike back 💀

Hate to say it but the decision is final, I've had enough of tracers and thieves. I plan to only draw Octonauts in private.

Thank you though <:) I'm doing my best to take it easy.

@rockyztownesys

SCREAMS AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DDD This was the major mood lifter I'd been needing <:)) Thank you so much

@rainwwatermelon7

Ah sorry, but I wouldn't be okay with that.. but I mean props to you. Just taking it, coloring it and sending it back without asking would be much worse.

And thank you! :D I'm glad to hear that you like my artwork! :DD

@milk-powrit

Not really sure how those episodes would play out..

@chromchill

Even then, just use free bases or show/movie screenshots. That's how I learned.. but yeah I get what you're saying. That's not nearly as bad as tracing and posting it as your own.

@somcdonaldsamirite

That would definitely be something :0

@kind-of-human1

I wont share much. But I can say that Caine was always like that/was capable of being like that. As time went on in the circus he kept leaning further and further away from "haha I'm a wacky A.I. ringmaster! :))" and more towards "these people really need my help to escape this place- and I gotta do what ever I can to comfort them in the meantime"

@carsaadi

Hello! :D So far I've drawn Caine without canines because its already hard enough to draw his "face"/expressions as he is. Adding sharp teeth would just complicate his face and make it even harder to draw expressions..

Plus so far I'm liking the vibe all flat teeth gives him. He still feels like a goofy cartoon character. Meanwhile adding sharp teeth makes it look like he's trying to be realistic... if that makes sense..? 'm more for cartoony <XD

@caronaro-flipaclip

1: I cant think of anyone who'd say that <XD

2: He might tease Ragatha, but he doesn't bully her and he doesn't bother Gangle at all.

3: I imagine is sound about the same as it does in canon! :0

@asperanna

Other than knowing its gonna have the light and dark looking sky kids from Eden, I cant actually grasp what this season could possibly be about...

I'm excited for it none the less! :)

Also as for the two sky kids themselves- the scene with them in Eden always makes me feel something 🥲

[notnights]

So obviously it's still too early to properly analyze the exact relationship dynamic between Jax and Gangle in canon. I promise this is less of me trying to find legitimate proof of any character speculations, and more just a string of very quick, messy personal thoughts on the topic. Context and motivation for their behaviors are likely to be explained in future episodes, and until then there's still quite a lot of uncharted territory left to explore. (Although I will say that both these characters are surprisingly more active and engaging with each other upon rewatch. aka, their willingness to be around one another seems mutual, the bullying is not.)

The only information that we can currently gather about Gangle are her canon appearances, the preview screenshot Glitch posted on the official account and to a lesser extent, Gangle's concept art sketches: Alot of it being about her fixation and dependency towards her comedy mask. We don't know whether she's fixated on the actual sensation being happy 24/7 or just the ability to appear joyful around everybody else just yet, or What her real-world equivalent of the mask was, or even if there ever was a real-world equivalent to begin with. But, Personal indictment is that she does genuinely want long term companionship and meaningful connections with other people. Or at the very least, not be subtly ostracized out of social convention. I think she believes that curating her outward demeanor might change the way others perceive her, and hopefully the way they interact with her as well. It doesn't really help that each of the circus crew are all a bit too much in their own heads to notice, one way or another. Even if they do mean well at the end of the day, it's never quite what she's really looking to accomplish. (It also doesn't help that her digital design is so detached from being human either, she's essentially a flat face on a piece of string. One can't really blame her for trying to make the most of what she's able to display tbh.)

So far, we know Jax is apathetic, violent and generally antagonistic towards everyone in the main cast, sometimes deliberately towards the girls. I think it isn't all that farfetched to believe he latched on to Gangle because she was malleable enough to target without facing most of the consequences. Subsequently, there's also the idea of him relating Gangle's tragedy mask to her willingness to comply: It's an emotional vulnerability for her (She already sees herself as less deserving of human interaction in this state, she won't have anyone else to go to, she doesn't seem to like being left alone). It's not farfetched to assume Jax sees the tragedy mask as a more "complied version" of Gangle, more entertaining and easier to string along. Me thinks he prefers it, but again. It's too soon to tell. Anyways something something designated role in group activities something something internalized self-worth I think Gangle and Ragatha have very similar philosophies when it comes to people pleasing and it almost makes me believe in the theory that they secretly don't get along even more.

(btw plz feel absolutely no pressure to respond to any of this at all - Again, very messy thoughts that I barely had time to collect. Ribbun is an unexpected infection with unfortunately very thought consuming brain fodder to me personally. Have a nice day.

I like these thoughts! It'll be really interesting to see how the Comedy and Tragedy masks work for Gangle.

I do agree Jax probably prefers Tragedy Gangle as even if it's only as deep as "she's funnier like that." And Gangle is the easiest victim for him in that state.

We've seen everyone (but Kinger, who Jax kind of doesn't bother too much, and you could argue it's because Kinger doesn't give an entertaining reaction) fight back against Jax's behavior in some way. Ragatha yells at him, Zooble isn't afraid to get physical, and we can tell Pomni had death on her mind when he threw her off the truck. The most Gangle has done is timidly resist for a few seconds before compiling. Steps on her mask, pushes her, grabs her and puts her in the drivers seat, she doesn't say anything.

She has a couple of bite back words, but then Jax just bites back and it shuts her down. Which is interesting because when Ragatha yells at him it's clear he thinks its funny and merely snarks back at her, often getting her to yell more. He gets different reactions out of everyone in the group and picks different entertainment from that. Gangle might be the one he knows he has proper control over.

As for the Ragatha and Gangle thing, I was really interested in the fact no one cared when Gangle broke her mask in the pilot, not even Ragatha who is our outwardly most caring. You could say it's because she had tunnel vision on Pomni, but I immediately interpreted it as, yeah Gangle's mask breaks all the time, she's crying all the time, eventually people stop caring. The boy who cried wolf, etc etc.

Even if Ragatha doesn't have direct conflict with Gangle, the fact Ragatha is someone who internalizes everything, and projects a positive outlook, I imagine someone like Gangle would make her pretty uncomfortable.

Here Ragatha is trying her darnest to keep it together and remain positive, meanwhile Gangle is crying all the time behind her.

"It's not so bad here Pomni, I promise!" as Gangle cries in the background.

Gangle being a constant reminder of how Ragatha, and maybe all of them really feel about being stuck here. Too early to say if Ragatha resents Gangle for this, or how she really feels about it. But if she does that's so sad because (we also don't know yet) Gangle has no control over these feelings, it wasn't her choice for her avatar to work like this.

Which honestly could be a good allegory for how certain people view mental illness in the real world too. Ragatha being a loved one who's uncomfortable with Gangle's moods, or even believes if Gangle just tried hard enough like her (example: keeping her comedy mask safe) she'd be fine. Ooh sad comic ideas.

[arceespinkgun]

alright I know you haven't talked about this in a while but you're pretty correct about the way jazzprowl is written usually being weird. One or both of them is always portrayed in a weird offensive way (it's either racist towards jazz, portrays prowl as an ableist stereotype, BOTH, and MORE)

I agree with this. It took me a while to think of what I could add to this and I think I'd also say: it's important for everyone to know that when I see people injecting bonus ableism into fics with these characters in them, Jazz is also normally portrayed as an ableist stereotype (racist as well as ableist)! Whenever Jazz is written as being super disruptive, lazy, and chaotic, or when he's written as super violent and scary and people use terms like "schizo" (I'm sorry but I've seen it) to describe him, these all fall into the overlap between racism and ableism. It's the same bigotry that in the real world results in Black men and boys to be deemed disruptive and violent over their peers. And I probably don't need to say it at this point, but the character Jazz has never been portrayed like this in any media, not even close. And there has also never been canon media where Jazz disrupts an ultra-rigid Prowl into changing anything about himself (and there never should be because that sucks). Hey, is now a good time to point out that in the G1 comics, as far as I can tell Prowl is just one of the many, many Autobots who are massive Blaster fans and they have nothing but positive interactions, and Blaster in those comics actually is a super disruptive, loud, angry, sometimes violent character? I mean, they have to be friends because they both hate Grimlock....

I also think something I haven't discussed as often but is equally important is that we should all be looking at canon with a critical eye as well. If you look at the way some IDW writers like James Roberts, Nick Roche, and John Barber wrote the characters, they utilized a lot of extremely problematic tropes as well. For example, I personally balk every time I see someone saying that Barber did Jazz justice, when what he did to him was make his entire story center on cops and police brutality and barely let him grow or find any community. He also decided that Jazz's backstory would be that he was a beat cop on Cybertron... I think it's bizarre for anyone to look at how Jazz has been portrayed over time and think it makes total sense for that of all things to be his backstory. I'll also just never forgive Barber for writing that issue where he had Prowl point a gun at Jazz's head to get his attention, and had Jazz making fatphobic jokes about Prowl (weird in context for SO many reasons), and also tried to resolve the issue with some kind of friendship moment despite all of that.

Roche, JRo, and Barber also knowingly took every trait Prowl had as a character before their stories—ones easy to perceive as signs of disability—and twisted them into signs of cartoonish evil (I know Barber seems to think he did not write him as a flat evil character, but he's kidding himself). Understandable meltdowns about stressful situations and injustice get turned into a running gag and scary villainy, a lack of social awareness and literal thinking get turned into the most flatly evil dialogue I've ever seen ("You can apologize later," anyone?), a drive to make everything just and fair and better for everyone gets turned into arrogance (Barber, the fact that you wrote this character saying something like, "What's morality got to do with any of this?" means you failed). I especially hate these decisions because these writers also showed a ton of favoritism towards this character. You could feel how much they LOVED making him as revolting as possible while also making sure that instead of facing reasonable consequences he'd always go through the most disturbing, traumatic, worst shit ever so there wasn't even the catharsis of fair consequences... while also giving him tons of prominence.

I say all of this because both canon and fandom works should be examined critically and that IMO it's not only a good idea to not make things worse in fanworks, but also probably a good idea to go along with the better parts of canon and not the super problematic parts.

[kentuckyfriedmegumi]

my thoughts on chapter 270 and why it feels like a slap in the face to megumi's character

overall, i didn't HATE the chapter but there are so many elements in it that really had me jaded. i'm gonna yap and i can't guarantee that this will be a short post.

i've been saying ever since the series ending announcement came out that i would like to see a good, emotionally-driven conversation with the trio; specifically, between yuji and megumi. not because of itafushi or whatever, but because this final arc has been leading up to megumi's return and him and yuji being reunited. we get 266 and 268 and both of those are good for there relationship, but we should have gotten MORE.

opening up at tsumiki's grave was such a good opening for megumi. i've BEEN saying that his character deserves a good conclusion and a lot of people think that that's what 266 and 268 were, but i think that there should have been one more, final meg-centric focus for his story to really feel like it's ending. unfortunately, tsumiki's funeral is like one page and we immediately jump to CG side characters that i (frankly) do not care for.

we return to our trio characters with the megumi and hana scene which….. personal opinions and thoughts aside, i thought was fine???? like it just felt so out of place and like really a meghana joke… of all things?? i was never a fan of hana's character, which is sad bc i hesitate to say that she IS a character with the way that gege has written her to be a plot device. like what are her motivations? her ideas? her goals?? they are all megumi-centric and it just falls so flat. she likes the IDEA of megumi and she doesn't actually KNOW him, nor does she understand his life, his struggles, his beliefs, or his pain.

it's this very reason why i am SO GLAD that megumi rejects her and i am HOPING that gege doesn't shoehorn in a meghana or a itazawa relationship. not only does it feel cheap, but they don't actually KNOW each other. they've barely interacted, both girls just like yuji and megumi on a superficial level. if there was more time to develop them, have them together and interact, then i would be much less opposed, but at this point having them get together would just be throwing in a relationship for the sake of throwing in a relationship.

on a personal level though, i wrote a separate post on megumi's and yuji's parallels and i fully believe for that reason that they ARE soulmates, whether or not it's romantic, and they deserve a romantic interest that understands them on that kind of level.

anyway, back to it. the rest of the chapter is more setup for what's to come. it feels like there may be a jjk 2, or a spin off, or like an epilogue short series to come after the series ends. honestly, i'm not sure how i feel about that, and i will hold off until the last chapter before i state my final peace.

but overall, i think that this all could have been done sooner, i think that this chapter could have been 269, and i think that the characters should have been the focuse. the MAIN characters, not the random CG side cast that we haven't seen in like a year. this chapter was fine, just fine. was it bad? no. was it good? absolutely not. if i had to rate it, i would say it's like a 4… maybe a 5 out of 10. i think that this all COULD have been great, but with the time that we have left and with the way that series is going, i'm hesitant to say that this will be a good ending.

i really, really do not want any canon relationships in here for the sake of giving our main cast a love interest. please, gege, if you're going to do it, make it fucking meaningful.

yap over.

[hisui555]

Hazbin Hotel thoughts

"How are they with kids ?"

Hazbin Hotel Bonus 1 (Hell cast + drawings of them) here

Hazbin Hotel Bonus 2 (Heaven cast + babysitting + drawings of them) here

Masterpost here

Something popped into my mind and I thought I'd share. A good while back, there was a stream (Hunicast I think ?) where the question "How good are they with kids ?" was asked, and suddenly that same question entered my mind about the villain characters :

What about the Vees ?

We know how some of the Hazbin crew would interact (if it's still canon) with children : Angel is the "friendly irresponsible" type - would never harm a child but would bring them to inappropriate places. Husk is actually surprisingly good with kids, knows how to distract them, catch their interest (it helps that apparently he knows magic showman tricks) and just plain care for them. Alastor is more distant and a bit behind the times in terms of discipline - he'd slap a kid if they were being a little shit, but won't harm them otherwise, even if scaring them for life isn't off the plate, and be generally decent if maybe annoyed. Vaggie if I remember right isn't comfortable with children, probably because she'd feel in over her head and has a short-ish fuse.

I don't remember what was said about Charlie (if anything was said at all), but my bet would be that she'll infantilize them a great deal - like treating a 10 y-o like a barely-able-to-walk toddler, with huge amounts of coddling and babying (all in all, not that far from how she treats Sinners). For Cherri, I don't think she was brought up (or my memory is failing me), but again, my personal bet would be that she'll be "friendly irresponsible" like Angel, but cranked up : sure you can throw that bomb, it's fun ! Just remember to let it go in ti- aww, c'mon, don't cry, yes your eyebrows will grow back. I know what'll cheer you up : wrecking that building !

But, yeah, what about the Vees ?

Well, here are my thoughts :

Vox would have the personality to deal with a child, but not the skills. He'd keep that CEO everything-is-fine-just-as-planned smile plastered on, and give Polite Interest (TM) to whatever squiggly drawing is pushed under his non-existent nose, listen with only one hearing sensor while 15 other tabs are open in the background of his brain, Wii music playing optional, analyzing graphs and stats while complimenting that pretty dragon pic ("It's a unicorn !" That pretty unicorn pic as he said) or distractingly commenting to the kid rambling ("I almost fell in a well yesterday." "Mh-hm." "I could've died." "That's wonderful, dear.") and spouting facts (unless about sharks. THAT gets his attention - one of the only times it's genuine and 100% and did I show you my pet Vark ?). He'd be generally patient (when your boyfriend is Valentino, kids are nothing next to that) and treat it just like one of his interviews, hypnosis included (Why won't you go for a nap, hm ? For the fifth time today ?) because like I said : skills ? Nuthin'. He'd be unable to wrap his flat-screened head about a kid's needs or why they cry, being unable to differenciate a "I'm hurt" from "I'm hungry" or "I'm scared" from "I'm sad because I'm missing my teddybear", so he'll go trial-and-error.

He'd be the type of babysitter that doesn't really interact much with the kid, letting them be, only keeping an eye on them while multitasking (cameras, right ?) and/or letting them play around him, as long as they don't cause a structural fire, fall in the shark tank, stick weird things in power outlets or bite the cables. Even better, stick them in front of a TV show and leave them there, only checking from time to time, with a pat on the head and a pinch of the cheek for good measure, calling them "dear", "darling", "squirt" or "champ" - but rarely, if ever, by name - as an afterthought, filling that "bare minimum affection" quota on the check list. Won't harm the child, because What Do You Think It'll Do For Our Image first, and not inclined to resort to that second, but if inspired will use the hell outta them (Voxtek ! Presenting new child-approved Vloops cereal ! New Voom flavor for kids ! Trust us with your children's happiness and diabetus !) and get ratings. In general, decent in personality and watching this mancub fumble around with semi-amused interest, like one takes a coffee break from work to check memes. Knows that getting angry won't help squat, so keeping the ankle-biter distracted and out of his hat is his way of dealing with it if he can't make more money out of them.

Velvette on the other hand would be the complete inversion : good child-handling skills, bad personality. She will immediately know what's up and pinpoint the exact issue no problems, but generally doesn't have the patience to deal with a kid. She'll stick the child in a corner with two toys within a chalk outline of three square meters at best and tell them to stay there, I'm busy putting together a show, dammit, I don't have time for you. Might be mildly verbally abusive, at best quite snippy. She has her fare share of frustrations and annoyances with stupid employees and stupider tantrum-throwing pissbabies, no need to add another one. Complains the whole time about the ordeal on her phone and social media between two shoots. Expect Mordecai Heller (Lackadaisy) levels of art critique each time a drawing is shown to her, and will deal with tears or tantrums by throwing the convoited item at the kid - the sooner it goes away, the faster she can go back to her business. Type of babysitter to be in another room and rarely check on the kid, telling them to shut up, stop singing or play less loudly, she's in the fucking middle of something here. Will make it VERY CLEAR to people asking that no, hell's sake, she won't babysit for long, today is just an unavoidable exception. Ignore the brat, folks, it's like a wallflower : decorative and useless.

Might incorporate the kid into her show or photoshoots (especially if Vox slipped her the idea to use the kid) to sell new fashion trends and as a child model, generally for cutie points and the attention it provides, especially if it makes people green with envy. Might still not call the kid anything other than "brat", "midget" and "shrimp", and you better strike that pose right and face the camera the proper way. However, food and naptime is provided right on the dot, and if left to play in a room, the room itself is not bad at all, and Melissa will be asked to keep an eye on them, nope, no raise, just do it or else you're fired. Might dump the child to Vox or Valentino whenever possible, or keep them around as a glorified clothing prop she fusses around, adjusting that bow, straightening those folds. Might also soften a bit if the child is very well-behaved and shows an interest in what she does, calling her designs cool and her style pretty, and not asking lots of questions.

Now, Valentino. And here's the thing : he'd be very good with kids. Which to any outsider makes it "awww", but for anyone who really knows him ? Absolutely TERRIFYING. This sweet voice and cute nicknames ("cariño", "cariña" - hope I got it right - name nicknames, cooing and practically purring it out), propping them on his hip, parading around, and would you look at that, aren't those pretty lights ? That's right, they're from the spotlights ! Wouldn't you like to look ? while pinching cheeks and booping noses and poking at ribs, promising a candy bar or lollipop if they behave nicely for "uncle Val", and everyone else who has been on the receiving end of this in a WILDLY different context just shivers with fear. And that's the worst : he'll be decent to kids, adorable even (nevermind consciously playing up the endearing points), and still be able to sent that cold death glare and smiling rictus over his shoulder to his employees so that they better get in line for work already. Kid will only see the surface, super-nice moth guy with fluffy wings showing them around and everything, others (the ones with morals) see the monster underneath and really do hope children aren't on his pimp radar. And Val will let them keep guessing, because pragmatically, the imaginary-but-still-implied threat works very well, and he has no interest in someone that's no fun to break, unlike adults who are much more satisfying to bring to their knees : the higher they are, the harder they fall, and the resulting control is just gratifying. Even Vox will be queasy about it at times, but hope he knows Val well enough and choose to ignore it (as long as nothing Harms The Image) and go back to business, Velvette is grateful for Valentino's babysitting skills, but if Val is in a bad mood ? Better drop the kid at Vox'. Becoming a casualty to Val's tantrums is a low chance for a child, but let's not damage the PR along with the brat, shall we.

I don't think Valentino would censor himself around the kid, even if he'll be decent while addressing them : one minute going wait here for me, okay [name]-ita/ito ? and the next second screaming at the top of his lungs over his shoulder OKAY BITCHES AND FUCKS WE'RE TAKING IT BACK FROM THE TOP ! and just barely keeping the kid out of sight in a room corner or adjacent room, like having the playpen barely behind the obscuring wall or something (whereas Angel Dust would probably use euphemisms - despite still cursing - around them and, while entering the studio with the kid, keep them in his own break-room (and the lot of questionable items he likes and that could fall in curious grabby hands, because he Didn't Thought This Through) while he works, preventing them from directly seeing anything). On the subject of Angel, he'll probably have a near heart attack seeing Valentino with a kid around him, knowing what he's truly capable of, and hoping it's not what he thinks it is (it's not, but Valentino is well-aware of the effect and if it makes his employees more compliant, might as well, relishing in the fear it causes). His way of dealing with tantrums or coaxing into behaving is either a cold glare and intimidating with silent anger and a very low voice (basically, scare-tactic), or playing keep-away with things, as in once you behave, you can have it. You wouldn't want me to keep it locked somewhere you can't reach, right ? Good. On the other side, expect faux-fussing and cooing for a child that's genuiely hurt, see how good a caretaker he is, right ? what do you mean he likes when someone is dependent on him to be comforted and happy, pffft, that's just your imagination.

Conclusion : hypothetically, none of them are above using a kid for their own goals, with next to no empathy outside a connecting point or two (sharks for Vox, maybe fashion for Velvette, and admiring Valentino - or just, boost their egos by fawning over their work/supposed smarts/prettiness, that works too), and while they'd be mostly decent towards the kid on a basic level (needs are taken care of, no (intentional) physical abuse, no neglect), they will be directly or indirectly manipulative, with calculated affection and praise. Healthy people to be around, I'm telling you.

Bonus :

For Sir Pentious, I think he'd just be plain lost, especially with modern kids and their needs (he's from the 1800's). Or paranoid the child is plotting his double-death when the local 5 y-o he got saddled with is merrily pushing buttons haphazardly on his blimp and no, no, not the death ray ! I, Ssssir Pentious, command you to let go of the Hyperbeam Dessssimator this inssstant ! That, or he'll try to transform them into one of his minions - and keep any stickman drawing offered to him in his secret room, after squishing it to his heart with welling-up, shiny gloopy eyes.

I don't remember if Niffty was brought up too, but she'd be rather... extreme. With a very fifties mentality of what caring for children implies, with leftover gender stereotypes. She'd be puzzled by a girl playing with toy cars and putting them to bed like some flipped-on-the-back beetle (pun intended) in the Barbie sheets, or a boy not being that much of an airplane fan. She would come around, but expect at least one that's not how you do it, and some hyper rants about killing bugs and CLEANING. However, she'll be very careful about dangerous items : no touching the bleach without her supervision ! Even if she'll tell the kid the hundred and a half ways of killing stuff with it.

For the Overlords : I admit I'm just drawing a blank on Zestial, I guess he'd just observe kids from afar but not really interact. Tall, Dark and Spidery would rather not interact, but I guess he'll point a lost kiddo in the right direction once in a while.

Rosie would just be the politest, most accomodating, patient, motherly figure, the talk about your emotions and how does that make you feel kind (I mean, we all watched Episode 7, right ?). Just watch out for the slow but steady conversion into a potential cannibal, because Oh you've never tried these, dearie, it's a delicacy ! Now, you're a forever-not-growing child, you need your calcium. And what's better than taking it from the source ? These bones are good for yours ! If unconvenienced by behavior, she'll show The Disappointmed Frown, and you better go to your room. Might still believe in spanking (by hand, no objects) as punishment. We don't do tantrums here, sweetie, we're classy, helldammit.

Carmilla is just a confirmed mom, maybe strict and an iron lady, but she deeply loves her own children, and it shows. Other kids don't bother her at all. A stern talking is what they need if misbehaving. She's protective, but not overprotective, and kinda the learn-from-your-experiences type (unless said experience would end fatally, because then she'll intervene). She aims to teach independence and self-sufficiency, and while blunt at times in her approach, her praise and affection are completely sincere and given without a second thought.

I don't know the other Overlords enough to tell how they would react to kids.

Okay, well, this blew up to a whole thing. Ah well, I'm known for my skyscrapers anyway. Have a cookie, you've certainly burned a lot of calories just by reading this, you really earned it.

(And seriously, just choose Carmilla as a babysitter.)

Again, Masterpost here.

[mystic-myrtille]

I'm in a salt mode so lets get into this

One of the biggest problems people had with the L//S is how poorly developed it's been and how less effort it has been put into it, And don't get me started how Adrichat and Maribug barely interact basically making the ship have 0 chemistry.

But then when ships like Lukanette and Adrigami came along, then there's some Toxic L//S stans who bash the characters (and doxx lukanette and adrigami shippers), with their only excuse being "ThEy R iN tHe Way of adr///ette/L//s (Mainly because they're insecure that Lukanette/Adrigami has Chemistry, proper development and effort and their ship doesn't)

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Lukanette/Adrigami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Luka/Kagami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of toxic L//S stans projecting their ship on every. single. damn. thing

I'm so sick and tired of seeing Lukanette/Adrigami shippers get d0xxed, threatened and bullied just because they don't ship the L//S or Adr//ette

Yikes, people doxxed each other because of ships?? For some reason I'm not entirely surprised. I've seen fandoms with super toxic people and the ml fandom sure can be toxic as hell. If you (general) get so worked up about people's opinions about characters from a kids show, you should be denied access to the internet and instead have access to tons grass to touch. But yeah, even just "normal hate" can be frustrating and discouraging, so it's best to just block those people. I completely understand your frustration.

Luka//nette isn't good because they were half canon, it's good because they have a meaningful bond and the root for drama is always outside circumstances and not the fact that they fundementally don't work together. If Mari wasn't Ladybug, they probably wouldn't have split up. That's why I love this ship so much. Besides, they never got in the way of anything. Realistically, no ship can get in the way of a confirmed endgame ship bc, well, it's endgame. So this argument is kind of falls flat (honestly most arguments against Luka//nette I've heard were either not really important or kind of a very outlandish interpretation of their relationship, I don't care about either.)

Heck, even if Luka//nette wasn't the rival ship but just friends in canon who interacted twice, who cares? Shipping isn't supposed to be serious, it's exploring different dynamics between characters and having fun putting them in different scenarios and have them have 6176310278 different first kisses. There's no rule that you have to be on board with the canon ship.

Now speaking of L//S developement (bc now I'm also in a salty mood and I have thoughts)

I and many others have already talked about how s1-4 didn't really do much with them. But I find it funny when people say that s5 did a great job developing they're relationship because... bitch where? I've watched season 5 (I have no self respect) and everything was confusing and over the place and I think that's bc the writers can't make up their minds about which problems the L//S might face actually matter and how they can be solved.

The season starts with Mari making a big deal about how loving Adrien is dangerous because hero stuff. Oh but actually it doesn’t matter, she likes CN now, problem solved! Oh wait no Chat friendzoned her and Adrien is pushing real hard for Adr//nette so they give up their fucking miraculous (in times of crisis I might add), problem solved! No wait, actually the new heroes suck so they take them back, but that’s okay bc being in love and being a superhero at the same time is actually no longer a problem for some reason! The actual problem is that Mari is incapable of expressing herself because she has trauma. And THAT’S the real shit because fucking everybody gets so invested they organize literal dates for them and watch from a distance until they smooch instead of, oh idk, letting them do things their own way. But actually that also doesn't matter anymore bc Zoe just confessed and Mari was so inspired she immediately ran to Adrien. Oh but Adrien is a senti without free will and he goes to england soon whoopsie. Also Gabriel and Tomoe are now Adri//gami shippers because of course we need an arranged marriage deal type of plot. Oh yeah there's also something about Monarch apparently having all the miraculouses but who cares amirite

See what I mean? There's no structure, no actually overcoming problems, it's just random shit happening without any connection to the previous random shit. The characters don't develop in a meaningful way. Mari's only life goal is making one cohesive sentence in front of Adrien and he's kind of just there. I mean he could maybe feel inspired by Marinette's passion for arts and crafts and try out some stuff or he could continue to have no direction in life. Yes, as a teen it's hard knowing what you want to do later in life, but Adrien doesn't even really have actual hobbies he can define himself through. The writers fail not only to develop the relationship as a whole but also the characters involved as people. They could as easily be a situationship where they meed every two days to make out and it wouldn't change anyting. It's just fan service here and there combined with shallow and forgettable dialogue (I think, there wasn't a conversation that stick with me at least) and idk this maybe works as a first love that maybe lasts for a year before they have a dramatic break up and then move on with their lives, But the show tries to sell this idea that the square will actually stay together forever (or have a constant toxic on-off thing bc that's the vibe I'm getting. Plus Bunnyx sort of implied that).

[cleromancy]

while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.

(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)

so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.

(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)

i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.

ok cutting 4 length

the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)

but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.

and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)

and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.

oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this

just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:

>:| got distracted again. by this.

anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.

and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)

i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.

(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)

i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.

but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.

tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?

yeah. yeah, i really do. lol

anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.

and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:

and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.

he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.

anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.

bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.

anyway

im just going to roll back to robin 183 now

jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:

does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.

anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.

[finnitesimal]

you reblogged that old ask about pissa ever going anywhere with their relationships and i've had some thoughts about this topic and it's probably gonna become a little bit of a rant so no pressure answering or even reading it's your askbox of course. so firsts things first jusr as you said the the answer to that task missa would definitely have to be more present on the server for this to not fall flat and feel very surface level. that being said the ender king stuff that's been going on with phil could potentially be a catalyst for things to move forward but personally i don't know if i like this idea 100%. while it is crucial to phil's character because well it's his lore! i presonally wouldn't like missa to become just an extension to him and a plot device for his story. i'd love missa to have more developement on his own or with other people first because as you said yourself a lot of the times when he's on the server him and phil barely leave each other's side.

the thing with phil ignoring missa's feelings in a way is that it could be easily attributed to him being a repressed old bird, which well, he totally is. and the threat of the ender king constantly looming over him and his loved ones definitely doesn't help with opening up to people these days. but that's where a lot of developement could happen for him and he's already been talking more to his eggs so hopefully he can exchange that trust and honesty to missa soon. and if it takes the ender king to do it then so be it i have more faith in missa being open about things on his own accord than this guy.

honestly i think i saw a post similar to what i'm going to say but i really hope the prison kiss will push some unspoken boundary between them that makes them perhaps question some things or move forward. i'm personally any type of pissa enjoyer but i just hope they can confront each other at some point and talk about how they feel. there's a lot of potential for a very sweet story here it would be a shame if nothing ever happened with it. i know it's probably wishful thinking but hey i can dream.

also we don't really know how the server is going to look and to what extent it's going to be reset but it could be a good chance for them to hang out more if let's say some bases get yeeted or they need to gather resources. or even if the bases are untouched it feels like a good moment for less active members to join since there's been a little bit of pause. what i'm saying is missa please log on more it's really crucial to this.

WOOHOO

i do agree that Missa should get to write his own lore whether it coincides with Phil's or not, he doesn't seem to be into scripting interactions with the others he's more likely to just start playing a bit and then bouncing off that for his cubito's story (spreen's betrayal and him leaving roier's house for it, kidnapping by wolves, being in love with phil, fortnite cheese putting him in prison) overall there's no evidence missa's gonna be involved in the ender king plot in canon unless he and Phil have talked about it

definitely think having a lot of new untouched space could take most of the pressure out of just walking around and seeing everything expand so quickly and being worried about building somewhere someone might have already claimed or on someone else's grounds

canon romantic pissa is still up in the air but ccphil and missa are most definitely aware that they're playing into a traditional romantic love story, theyre gonna have to decide if it'd be better or funnier to keep pivoting around the subject and drive everyone on the island insane or to get the ball FUCKING rolling

I'm going to Have Faith that he will log on more. I'm going to Hope and Pray. Calacaland will prevail

[arzen9]

no closer could I be to god (or why he would do what he’s done) chapter 4

pairing: Astarion/f!Tav | Astarion/f!OC (Sancti)

18+ MDNI

word count: 3.8k

tags/warnings: mentions of trauma, mentions of sexual trauma, non canon compliant, spoilers, smut, explicit sexual content

summary: Astarion enacts his nice, simple plan.

Folks! This one has smut. It was difficult to write because here I have two characters with immense sexual trauma interacting in a very sexual way and I wanted to do justice to the complexity of it all. I hope I was able to do that while also displaying their pull towards one another. As always, thank you for reading, and let me know what you think!

Divine.

That’s how Sancti tastes.

How her blood tastes, to be more precise.

When Astarion lets his fangs pierce and find shelter inside her, her skin explodes with a pop, like biting into a ripe fruit. Velveteen summer berries crackling on the flat of his tongue and then down the back of his throat on a winter day. Feeling the sunlight after centuries of darkness.

That’s how she tastes.

He can understand why Cazador would forbid them from drinking the blood of thinking creatures, now. The sheer willpower that courses his veins and fills his undead body with vigor is something he has no point of comparison for.

Is this special to her holy blood? If he were to go and bite someone else, would it be different?

But she is his first, and that must mean something- a bond. A thread shared. Astarion thinks that no one will ever taste the same, after having supped the essence of pure sunlight.

If she hadn’t asked him to hurt her, he probably would have tried to be as gentle as possible. After all, isn’t that what she deserves?

Then there is a part of him that rears its ugly head while he gulps her blood down with ferocity. This part believes nobody deserves any gentleness at all- he surely wasn’t shown any, so why would he show it to anyone else?

But this is Sancti, and there is just something about her.

“Astarion.”

Is that him? Is Cazador here to punish him? He’s going against his rules. He’s going to be punished, and there is no one to save him-

It takes Astarion a moment to register what he’s hearing is Sancti’s voice, barely a whisper. She sounds content. Or did he take too much from her?

He immediately unlatches himself from her neck to look up. She’s alive. Looks almost disappointed that he stopped.

The feeling is mutual.

When he asks her if it was too much, she tells him she was thoroughly enjoying herself. And it’s easy to see that she means it. With Sancti, all of it feels easy- the talking. She doesn’t lie. Why does he trust her so much? For a second, Astarion feels disgusted with himself for even thinking that this stranger who surely doesn’t care much beyond her desires would not lie to him. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s not that she wouldn’t lie to him specifically; it’s just that Sancti is not a liar. Be it from a divine duty or an insistence on keeping her moral grounds high, it doesn’t matter.

That’s all there is, isn’t there?

And as she lays there underneath him, blood still slowly trickling down her neck, she bares her truths to him again, this time without a forced tadpole connection.

“For most of my life my… Body hasn’t felt like mine. Not exactly. To escape one hurt by asking for another might seem trivial, but this time it’s different This time I’m asking for it. This pain is all mine.”

Stars in the sky exploding, planets aligning and moving away, time changes everything. Centuries of torment and no one has been able to look at him with this much understanding. She does not know the extent of the pain he has suffered and yet- she speaks as if she’s the voice inside his head, the beat of his unbeating heart.

He has to stop following whatever this line of thinking is. He’s had a few gulps of humanoid blood and it’s his first time, is all. Nothing more than that. She’s just another who desires what she thinks he can offer- not him. Not really.

Now this line of thinking is better. Especially if he’s going to move forward with his plan.

He’s done this so many times before that there are no questions when it comes to her enjoyment, although he has to admit that hers is a different, more delicate case. He will have to go about this carefully if he wants to make sure Sancti will protect him from his former master no matter what. The holy light of Lathander will be the most valuable, albeit unexpected, ally to have. He can already imagine Cazador’s face when he sees Astarion is not only not alone now, but has a priest of Lathander by his side of all things.

Sancti is different in another sense as well. She is the first so-called victim of his rakish charms that will not be taken away by his master when the act is done that he can remember. She should consider herself lucky. Who is more desirable than a vampire, after all?

Staring into those golden orbs of hers now, he can tell that she wants to kiss him. This is no longer just about a painful bite. That much he was expecting already.

But there is something else in her eyes. Admiration? Astarion does not dare name it.

“Can I kiss you?” she finally asks.

And there it is- the only thing he’s good for. To touch, to kiss, to offer his body for anyone who’s willing to take it. A shudder goes through him that he desperately tries to repress.

“You can, little priest. I’m surprised you waited this long.”

She doesn’t seem amused by his flirting, but parts her lips regardless, yet he is the one who closes the distance and presents himself to her. What happened to being the object of her holiness’ desires? There is something curious in his body’s involuntary actions that he doesn’t dare question.

Her lips envelop his and oh, they are soft, plush, wet, and she whimpers-

There is a heat that is foreign to his cold, undead body, pooling in the front of his trousers. Why is this sensation so foreign, though? All of it should be part of the task. Instinctive.

Sancti pulls back from him, and a string of saliva tinged with her pink connects their mouths for a moment, glimmering under the pearly moonlight.

“You taste like me,” she says.

“Your blood, you mean,” he laughs.

“My blood is me. You have tasted me, Astarion.” She pauses for a moment, nervously looking at anywhere but his face. “Can I taste you?”

How long has it been since someone asked him that question? Wanted to pleasure him even before he’s done anything? Sancti is unexpected, to say the least. Not entirely unpleasant, but not comfortable either.

“I haven’t even touched you yet, darling.”

“Please,” she says, and clears her throat as if trying to not seem too eager. The way she says the words blossoms in his chest with warmth. “I want to.”

Her dizziness must be dissipating, because she gives a gentle push against his chest with her palm, pulsating with heat, and Astarion can hear the way her pulse quickens. As he lifts himself, balanced on one hand, she hooks her leg around his and all of a sudden they have changed positions, her amber crowned head now eclipsing the moon overhead.

She is beautiful. There is no doubt about that.

Before she catches him staring, he has to say something. Anything.

“Beautiful.”

Anything but that.

“I could say the same thing to you, Astarion.” She is always bold with her words, but not without embarrassment, if the way she tucks her hair behind her ear as soon as she’s done talking is any proof. Bold, but genuine.

Isn’t that frightening?

There is a primal urge inside him that wants to give her exactly what she wants- pain. To lunge at her with all his newfound, fed-with-the-blood-of-a-thinking-creature strength, wrap his slender fingers around her porcelain throat and slowly tear every inch of her skin apart with his teeth.

But he has given her the reigns, for now. Part of him is curious, part of him thinks giving her what she wants is the way to salvation. To gaining her protection.

Either way, she will taste him. Savor him.

And he will let her.

She looks down at him and tilts her head to the side. “Do you really want this, Astarion?”

“And I could ask the same to you, darling.”

“I want this,” she says, more to herself than anything. “I’m not anyone’s toy anymore.”

What if he lunged at her now? Take her, take her, take her under the moonlight, drain her dry?

Would she not let him?

“Then I’m all yours. Until morning, at least.”

Something flashes across her face, partly obscured by her wild hair and partly shadowed by the moon behind her. But he has her essence coursing through him, now- his vision has never been better. Is it disappointment that darkens her eyes? Speaking of her eyes- have they always been so bright, like a wolf? Was there always a black rim around the gold?

When she bends down to kiss him, still hesitant, Astarion finally gives attention to how she’s straddling him, her knees on either side of his body, her beautiful dress pushed up to her hips. He can see that her legs are smooth, freckled lightly in a shade matching her hair. His hand moves on its own accord, reaching out to caress one calf. His fingertips feel fuzzy, as if readying themselves for a cantrip.

She slowly begins to move down, first to his chest, and she places an open-mouthed kiss over where his heart is supposed to be.

Does she want to die? Or does she want to kill him, again?

Her journey takes her even further down, as she brushes her lips against anywhere she can reach, eyes reverently closed. An act of worship.

When she reaches his belly button, she gives a tentative lick, silent but sure of herself. She grazes her palms softly over his still clothed legs, taking her face down over between them. And she inhales.

Has Astarion ever felt like he is something to be savored? He can’t remember, exactly. Not like this. But then he realizes something- she is doing this for herself just as much as she is doing it for him. Taking something back.

His mind flashes with what he saw in hers through the tadpole. It’s hard for him to not feel at least partly resentful. He has had to endure it, what, hundreds of times? Thousands? At the mercy of a different stranger every time. But Sancti, her torment lasted shorter, she didn’t have to put up with this elf one night, this human the other. And for that he hates her.

“Want to take these off?” she asks, tugging slightly at his clothes. The deliberation to her actions makes him feel almost like an experiment rather than a tool for her release. What does it matter? As long as she becomes absolutely enamored with him in the long run. Enamored enough to offer her protection.

He wordlessly helps her shed him off of his garments, and Sancti’s eyes grow wide as she takes in the fullness of him.

“Like what you see?”

“I-” she stammers. “I just didn’t… Expect you to be-” She puts her hand against her face as if she’s too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “You don’t exactly look monstrous-”

“Are you calling my cock monstrous?”

“No!” Her denial is way too polite, too excited. Her face falls immediately when she realizes he’s just teasing her. “Fuck you, Astarion.”

He raises one silver eyebrow. “You wound me, darling. Isn’t that the idea?”

She looks away. “You’re bigger than I expected. That’s all. Can we stop talking about this?”

“I’ll take it as a compliment.”

She looks back at him, and they burst into a fit of giggles. He is surprised at how much he’s enjoying this- the leading up, the teasing, her laughter.

Her laughter.

“You deserve all the compliments, Astarion. You do.”

Why does she say these things? Isn’t enough that he has bared himself to her, ready for the plucking? Isn’t it bad enough that he has now realized the beauty of her irises-

Without warning she gives a lick along the length of him with the flat of her warm, wet, pink tongue and Astarion’s mind goes blank.

He yanks his gaze away from her. It’s too much. Instead he looks up at the stars that blanket them, bright and winking. But then she takes him into her mouth and he has no choice but to watch her. Recite her name in prayer. Every moan a verse.

“Sancti,” he repeats her name to himself, a grounding exercise. It seems to ignite something in her, too, as she moans in tandem around him.

She starts to bob her head up and down, slowly, working her tongue at the same time. Her eyes are closed, but if they weren’t, they would see a man hypnotized by how good he looks inside her mouth, between her cheeks.

He can hear her heartbeat, by the gods is it loud. As if she has finally found her calling.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” Astarion says, but his voice comes out way raspier, way lower than he intended it to. He reaches one hand out to comb his fingers inside her hair, grazing his nails gently at her scalp. Her eyes jolt open to stare right at his soul. Or what’s left of it.

With a pop, she releases him and he hisses at the cold night air suddenly hitting his nakedness. “I am. More than I thought I would.”

“Gods, have your expectations of me been really so low?”

Sancti chuckles. “No, not expectations of you. Of myself.”

Of course. Maybe Astarion is wrong- though he doubts the possibility- and just maybe, this intimacy is just as complicated for her as it is for him, even though none of them show it openly.

“You were doing a very good job, little priest.”

If it wasn’t for his vampiric senses heightened thanks to her blood, Astarion might have missed the way her breath hitches at his praise. So she likes it. Duly noted.

“Let me get back to it, then,” she says. And she does.

Has warmth always been so attractive, has a mouth ever felt so much like taking shelter from a bitter storm? As soon as Sancti takes his hardness back into her mouth, he sighs with relief. Grateful to be at the receiving end of her devotions.

Surely he could stop her any moment he wanted to. She’s not just any lowly victim to be taken back to him- she’s Sancti.

But who is Sancti, really? Why has Astarion found so much comfort in her presence as if he knows the first thing about her? So she has been through something similar to him. Big deal. No one can ever understand his pain. And why would he want anyone to understand? Why show weakness? This is the best-case scenario- she has taken the bait.

So why does he feel so good?

Sancti becomes too eager, and he can feel himself hit the back of her throat. It feels delicious. She coughs and pulls back.

“I’m sorry,” she says with a smile, looking up at him.

Instinctively, he gives a soft caress through her hair. She leans into his touch.

He should be harsh. Hasn’t she asked him for pain? Then, why does she seem to enjoy only the gentlest of touches?

As she recovers, Sancti seems to move back to lower herself on him, but Astarion stops her. Pulls her up towards himself, balancing on one hand to meet her halfway.

Finally, he kisses her with the fervor he has been holding inside.

Why not? At this moment, under the starlit sky, isn’t he freer than he has ever been in the past two hundred years? He can let himself enjoy this one thing, just as she has let herself.

He tastes his salt on her tongue, and combined with the remains of her iron at the back of his fangs, it’s enough to drive a man insane.

Astarion lets out a growl, feeling an ache between his legs that will only go away if he sheats himself in her like a weapon. Forcefully, he turns her around, ready to enter her from the back. Her dress is already hiked up around her waist, and with one movement of his hand he can pull her undergarments to the side-

“No! Astarion, stop.”

A prey animal caught in a trap. She looks at him, terrified. Pupils blown so wide the gold is almost gone.

How can he be so stupid? It was he who forced himself upon her mind, and now he’s doing the exact same thing he had seen in her worst memories.

But how could he help it? All these years, all those different bodies. The only way to get through it was to refuse looking them in the eye.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. Her expression softens immediately. They stand face to face, on their knees on the ground, a sort of ritual dance that they are preparing for. Astarion worries he has ruined everything. Is this it, has he lost the chance to earn her trust?

Sancti moves forward slowly, one hand coming up towards him to cup his cheek. The difference in their temperatures makes both of them tremble. He is inclined to lean into the touch, for whatever reason, but he has to stop this. It’s a good sign regardless- she is willing to continue. But it has to be on his terms. All this softness is too much.

He grips her wrist and pulls it away from his face, and he can see sadness cloud her eyes for a moment. She seems to be conflicted just as he is, though, because she fixes her expression immediately.

“I would like to look at you, if that’s okay,” she says softly.

He takes a deep, unnecessary breath of relief. She still wants this.

Who wouldn’t?

Whatever the end goal may be, he aches to be inside her. Wonders how it feels. And he can smell her arousal from where he’s standing. A heady aroma of her usual scent-grapefruit, lavender and cedar- combined with a salty musk. Next time he needs to bury his face deep into that scent, inhale her as he did him.

Next time?

Just as he did only moments before when she felt woozy from his feeding, Astarion lowers her down, his hand supporting her neck. He clasps one finger underneath the strap of her dress, carefully pulling it down. Finally he can take a good look at her.

Her shoulders are covered in small, barely there freckles just like her calves. Her breasts are small and perky, nipples the same pink as her lips. They make his fangs hurt with hunger. That beautiful dress he assumes she has worn to impress him is now nothing but a line of fabric around her waist, leaving her with nothing but soaked underpants. He wants to press his nose up to them.

So she wants to look at him while he fucks her.

He presses gentle kisses down her neck, on the still open bite marks, down to her collarbones.

“Be a good girl and ride me,” he says, sinking down on his back.

Sancti crawls towards him, lips slightly parted while she stares down. She straddles his hips once again, and Astarion tries not to look too excited.

But gods, he is.

She lines her entrance up with him, and her grip on his length is enough to send shivers down to his already dead, cold spine.

He could just thrust up, grab her by her neck, bite into the marks that have already formed.

Sancti sinks down on him, and her head falls back with a moan- a mix of pain and pleasure.

His head does the same. She’s tight. Way too tight.

“Little priest, I beg of you,” he strains. “Move.”

She puts her hand on his chest, and with the strength it provides her, starts moving.

She feels like a glove around him. Perfect fit. If the only thing he did for the rest of eternity was to move up and down, up and down, in and out of her warmth, he would be absolutely fine. Sancti alternates between soft, small whimpers and open mouth moans that seem to shake her whole being. Astarion watches her with impossibly crimson eyes. He’s hungry again. For her.

She looks down at him, her hips rocking back and forth, the moon a silent witness in the back. “Do you want to bite me again?”

She only has to ask.

With one swift moment he flips them both around so that he’s on top, still inside her. Now he can move without abandon, faster than what she had been torturing him with before. She gasps with surprise for only a second, but quickly locks her arms around his neck, one hand traveling down his back-

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles out as soon as her fingers brush against his scars. He raises an eyebrow at her. Does it disgust her to the point of being pitiful?

“Who did this to you?” she asks.

“You’re really bad at dirty talk, darling.”

“Astarion.”

“My m- Former master, considered himself quite the artist and used his slaves as a canvas to carve this poem.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. He can see that she means it, but hates her pity nonetheless.

“Yes, well, not exactly the conversation I would like to have right now.”

To his surprise, she laughs. “I wouldn’t admit to this often, but you’re right. I think you were about to bite me.”

Who is he to refuse?

She stops him, though, just as he is about to sink his teeth into her a second time.

“Do it while you’re inside me, please,” she says breathlessly.

She seems more accustomed to his girth now as he enters her with no great resistance, and immediately starts thrusting.

His vision is cloudy and sharp at the same time- clouded with desire, sharpened by the hunger he has for her blood. Even in his peculiar state, though, he can zone in to the exact location he bit her earlier and avoid there. He switches focus to the other side of her neck and between thrusts, bites her.

The sound she makes-one of surprise and delight in the same measure- only serves to egg him on, as his movements become more erratic, and he can taste her, how her release sweetens her blood even more-

Astarion tears himself away from her neck with urgency, as he can’t take any more. “Where do you want me?”

She looks confused for a moment. “Inside,” she whispers.

He dips his head back, tongue lapping at the new blood that gushes out of her second set of twin marks.

If she was summer berries before, now she is summer itself.

If she was sunlight before-

Love?

Surely not.

As Astarion and Sancti come down from their mutual highs, him still to the hilt inside her, the stars wink and die above them without care.

Because although love is on the table, when it is also laden with good wine and meat- love is left to rot with the salad leaves.

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

HINATA HYUUGA (NARUTO)

1.) When Hinata was introduced she goals, weaknesses, interesting interactions and relationships with characters other than naruto and a personality of her own. Post timeskip in shippuden, however, she was reduced down to simply 'naruto's future love interest' and little else. The entire Hyuuga plotline was dropped and she no longer had any relevance or personality outside of naruto. Part 1 hinata was shy and insecure on the surface but underneath that she was determined & hardworking, even to her own detriment. Her struggles were compelling. Her interactions with neji and her family are something you look forward to seeing more of. In shippuden she's like a flat carboard cutout of hinata. Her shyness exaggerated, her relationship with her family suddenly perfectly fine and boring. In part 1 naruto inspires her to keep trying but he isn't the reason she's working so hard, in shippuden he's pretty much all she thinks about. Her change in character design really highlights these changes - the perfect little wife for cishet men to fantasise about.

2.) Her entire personality and arc is boiled down to “shy uwu waifu in love with Naruto” and basically any development she gets, which is barely at all because Kishimoto hates women, is as attributed to NARUTO and Naruto only. Even her reaction to her beloved COUSIN’S DEATH makes her be like “omg I love Naruto” and serves to further NaruHina, which is absolutely insane she would Not react like that. Naruto only starts being romantically interested in her at the beginning of like, The Last movie, which is after 500ish episodes of her being treated as the sidelined love interest who is devoted to a guy who only cares about her when she’s a damsel in distress on a fight.

There are so many parts of her character that are/could be interesting, like her part in the Hyuga Clan due to being born as a superior and her dynamic with her cousin Neji as a result, (which could have had SO many great moments of reconciliation and standing up for each other grrr grrr) an exploration of the impact of her bullying & being looked down upon (even when she’s supposed to be a superior member, which adds to the shame) LIKE MANY OF THE CAST, seriously the people Naruto trauma dumps to are mostly consisted of people unfairly treated like that and it could have been used to further NaruHina WHILE showing her struggles

She is an incredibly capable fighter but the moment Naruto is there, she instantly becomes defenseless and needs to be saved by her crush, mostly as a “wow look at him isn’t he so brave and kind to do this for her?!”

There’s an episode where she is literally used as a defenseless punching bag for Pein by trying to sacrifice herself for Naruto and telling him she loves him, JUST so he can be more angry and have more motivation to beat Pein’s ass (aside of the yknow. Killing his loved ones thing) AND her confession is ignored by Naruto for the rest of the series. Just like any moment she shows her crush for him is met with obliviousness, which would be fine if they weren’t the main couple and didn’t go on for THE ENTIRE SERIES!!!!

In Boruto, the shitty sequel, Naruto is basically her deadbeat husband in her bland lavander marriage and Boruto is rightfully mad about Naruto’s distance from the family and even says he left her basically a single mom and barely pays time to the family, and Hinata’s role in the show as the housewife is being like “no you see Boruto you have to understand your father’s pov as the Hokage” and the narrative treats NaruHina’s marriage as a Good, Healthy Thing as if the characters are not miserable in this marriage.

3.) Man I don't even like her that much but she deserved SO much better. She was introduced as the heiress of a really powerful and renowed clan with complex dynamics, yet the author somehow decided to do almost NOTHING with the potential she had, and gave her very little personality besides being shy and fawning over the protagonist. She gets slightly more active in Shippuden (part 2), but her character still pretty much revolves around her love for Naruto, which sucks because again, she has so much potential. It's no secret that women in Naruto are badly written, and Hinata certainly is no exception. The male characters get dozens of episodes/chapters about their motivations, their backstories, what pushes them to keep going, and Hinata gets almost nothing besides her lifelong crush on Naruto that we are reminded of literally every time she's on screen.

NIKI NIHACHU (DREAM SMP) (CW: Bullying)

1.) Ohhhh my FUCKING GOD okay. So first off, MCYT (Minecraft Youtube) is not synonymous with the Dream SMP. The Dream SMP is MCYT, but not all MCYT is Dream SMP. I just want to make that clear before I start. (Also, the DSMP characters are referred to with a c! in front of their name, and the person playing that character is referred to with a cc! in front of their name.)

Anyway. So Niki, right. The Dream SMP had a LOT of ccs, and I can’t remember all of them off the top of my head but I think there were like…four women? Out of…god, at least fifteen people, maybe twenty? Which would have been fine, I’ve seen worse ratios. But the thing is, a lot of the male ccs’ fans were uhhh…not great about treating cc!Niki like a person. We’re gonna move on to her character in a bit, but cc!Niki got bullied, harassed, and criticized no matter what she or her character did.

c!Niki is either a mean girlboss or gentle and nice. When I saw people talking about c!Niki while the DSMP was active, their views of her were very one dimensional. Maybe part of this was because cc!Niki didn’t get a chance to develop her character as much as someone like cc!Tubbo did. One of the DSMP’s fatal flaws was a lack of communication and organization, and…yeah. It was very difficult for white male ccs to organize people for lore, but for cc!Niki it was…also bad. The misogyny that cc!Niki experienced from fans is inseparable from the misogyny that c!Niki also received. It’s a really shitty package deal.

OH AND ALSO. You know how the DSMP ended by getting like, wiped from existence or some shit I don’t remember. And Dream did this without letting the majority of the ccs resolve their character’s stories/arcs? Will it surprise you to learn that afaik cc!Niki wasn’t informed about this at first? Yeah. Overall she was just treated horribly by everyone and so was her character.

2.) Literally only like three people ever did storylines with her, two of whom immediately dropped it as soon as something else came up. She didn't even get to officially participate in the revolution despite repeatedly offering aid, and eventually ended up just. Building her own underground city. To have something to do. The only people to actually include her in storylines consistently ever were the anarchists, toward the end of the server.

3.) ok, so, the thing is, this isn’t just about the DSMP. historically, in mcyt spaces, women content creators have been harassed and treated terribly by fans (and talked over/ignored by other ccs and the fandom) for, essentially, daring to be women, and niki has been subject to that. cc!niki (the real life person, for those who don’t know mcyt player/character differentiations) was/is really good friends with cc!wilbur soot (i haven’t been keeping up with this corner of streaming recently but assume this is the case). however, despite being close irl friends and working really well with one another, niki had to deal with endless bullshit from people who shipped her and wilbur (and people who didn’t!!), so much so that they stopped streaming together for a while. this is just some background so you understand the baseline we’re working with here. (this is going to be more of a meta analysis on how cc!niki was treated by other ccs, as that’s my specialty and also in a rp space it affects how her character was played) (fan treatment of her also factors in a lot here since fiction is highly affected by realities like this in mcrp) niki’s character in the dream smp, and the lore she had (she went from a kind baker to one of the last holdouts against a tyrannical government, to a broken girl resorting to revenge for stability, to someone who was finally able to find healing and support in a safe space and worked to do the same for others) was largely ignored or disregarded by both fans and the other content creators on the server. hell, when her best friend died nobody even bothered to tell c!niki! she had to find out from his own goddamn ghost! (can you tell i’m mad about this?) she put up with so much shit on that server, in-character and out, and never even got to have a fucking break about it. justice for c!niki!

[existslikepristin]

Later than I said I would post the story? Never heard of her. I am simultaneously thankful and sorry @ggidolsmuts for reviewing this for me to verify it makes just the right amount of a lack of sense.

Anyway, please make note of the trigger warnings in red in the tags. Unless you're color blind, in which case you're about to be awakened to some new kinks. Congratulations.

(Oh and fuck BBC entertainment, if that wasn't obvious.)

Churchgirleum Yawjinius

Tags: NSFW, TheLounge, Loona, Yeojin, futa!Choerry, futa!Hyunjin, futa!Jinsoul, futa!Heejin, futa!Haseul, some other bitch, briefly questionable consent, regularly questionable sanity, anal, double anal, TRIPLE ANAL are you kidding me, alliteration, extreme deepthroat, humiliating someone who deserves it, piss, gallons of cum, slight foot fetish, Jinsoul’s cum is referred to as fish jizz twice and it is a joke I promise, clit smacking, light? bondage, sacrilege, “praying” for dick, writing this lowered my IQ, is Yeojin crazy or is she a prophet, who would ever think this was a good idea, dick sizes never explicitly stated but implied to be unrealistically large, Heejin might be the most normal person there somehow, squelching lube sounds, idgaf this is canon, SCIENCE probably, losing the plot halfway through, is Choerry a vampire or is she a prophet, a little bit of “Mommy”

~~~~~

Spring.

Light and warmth summon fast growth. It's a time that calls for maximum performance all 'round, but provides plentiful sustenance in return.

There's a lot to do! Ensuring future generations, and getting the world to bloom again.

Colors, scents, and bird song cast a spell over Seoul's spring worlds.

Early spring. At first, it's barely noticeable. The beginning of March, the nights are still frosty, and the trees, bare. The last of the winter's chill, still in the air. But the early returning flocks of birds signal a new start. In the fields and meadows, still bare from winter, the pleasurable anticipation is almost tangible. And by pleasurable anticipation, of course, I mean the incredibly rare species, known scientifically as Churchgirleum Yawjinius getting absolutely railed in the asshole by the equally rare species, Thiccdiccaeus Cherrinus.

A strange mating ritual, one might say, as they are not quite "mating" in the traditional sense, and thus are not considered to be, as is referred to, scientifically speaking, "sinning." Good thing, too, for they are performing this semi-pseudo mating ritual within the most sacred place of worship, the church. Let us now take a closer look, and see what we may learn from this quite unlikely interaction we've stumbled upon.

~~~

Yeojin's voice jumped with every syllable she spoke. "Fuck. Yes. Choe. Rry. Fuck. Me." The church pew she leaned over creaked each time her body lurched forward. The nails holding it to the floor weren't made for that kind of motion.

"Oh yeah Yeojin! My... peepee feels so good... in your bum!" Choerry cooed. She had to hold a particularly wide stance to get down to Yeojin's level, which meant her balls were free to swing ahead to slap Yeojin's pussy.

Neither of them were exactly dressed for a usual Sunday service, but at least Yeojin tried. She wore a "slightly modified" version of the classic religion-based school girl outfit: a very short tube top (but with straps) that would have been ever so slightly more modest if she hadn't discarded her jacket before the fucking began, a skirt that was most definitely not regulation length (for which she deserved a good spanking), socks that came up to her knees, and plain black flats.

Choerry was naked.

Nowhere to be seen in the entire church was a pair of panties (or any of Choerry's clothes for that matter), most likely because the little whores didn't wear them in the first place.

Besides the sounds of extreme not-technically-fornication, the chapel was silent, which meant it was absolutely not even a little bit remotely silent. Grunts, moans, claps, smacks, swearing, and mildly naughty words filled the air like a hymn. Depending on their denomination and if they were there, an entire choir might have joined in. On the hymn, not the sex, obviously, if it wasn’t obvious.

Choerry's butt fucking only increased in enthusiastic intensity as she drew closer and closer to orgasm, dragging Yeojin's legs further and further up the back of the pew. Eventually, Yeojin's feet left the floor and hung limp, bouncing off the old, cushionless wood. Her front half was bent over, and she gripped onto the front of the seat (though not because she noticed the subtle rocking of the pew as the nails were pulled out of the floor).

A stern, stoic, strangely stupid, feminine voice rang out from the back of the church. “In the name of all that is holy, what are you doing?!”

Though Yeojin was too dickmatized to even properly notice, Choerry squealed and jumped at the shouting, in just the right forward direction and with just the right momentum that those weak-ass pew nails couldn’t hold up to the thrust. The sudden rush toward the floor, exceptionally loud crash of wood on wood, and Choerry’s uncontrolled, crushing weight, however, certainly did get Yeojin’s attention. The two of them groaned on the floor, and only ten percent of their combined groaning at that point had anything to do with a slowly closing gaped asshole.

Time to ponder said gape was in short supply however, as they heard rushed footsteps coming their way.

“Y-Yeojin, we gotta go!” Choerry whispered far too loudly.

“Hold it right there!” shouted the new stranger.

Yeojin’s eyes shot open (like her butt). “Fuckin! Is that the goddamn priest?!”

Choerry grimaced. “Is that… Are you allowed to say that?”

The one of them more concerned with being caught than bad language pointed at the confessional booth. “Quick! In there!”

~~~

Incredible. Haven’t we already learned so much?

Now, escaping predators is often a frantic affair, and we see it is no different here with Yawjinius and Cherrinus. When a creature sees a burrow that will fit them nicely, whether or not they constructed it themselves, they will quickly resort to using it. Sometimes, they do this without taking any consequences whatsoever into account. For example, what if the burrow is one-ended, and the only way out is the way they went in, directly into the awaiting jaws of the predator?

Of course, a booth is an extremely short one-ended burrow. At least this one has doors! Let’s see if Yawjinius and Cherrinus are able to escape.

~~~

Useless fists pounded on both doors of the booth. “Hey! Get out of there! You’re not supposed to…” The doors rattled a bit. “Why are there locks on these?!”

Choerry wiped the sweat off her forehead. “I can’t believe we made it without being recognized. I’ve never run that fast in my entire life, I think.”

“Yeah yeah,” Yeojin groaned, “Well we gotta figure out what we’re going to do—Why are you standing on the seat?”

“You can see me?!”

“These mesh things obscure nothing. Of course I can. And your cock looks fucking delish. Stand back for a second.”

Yeojin maneuvered around awkwardly in the cramped space until she was nearly upside down and able to kick a hole in the wooden mesh. Doing so resulted in a frightened squeal from Choerry, and a "What in God's name?!" from the dumb shit outside the booth.

It took no time at all for Choerry to get the point and stick her dick through the impromptu glory hole. Apprehension would have been warranted, since the hole was encircled by splintered wood, but something something joke about her hardwood being harder.

The good little sucklicant she was, Yeojin knelt on the seat and wrapped her throat around Choerry’s Thiccdiccaeus.

"Yeojin, your bum feels different!"

Yeojin gagged in response.

"Oh." Choerry backed up slightly to make small thrusts into the orifice she then realized her cock was actually inside. Thankfully she was not stupid enough to think an asshole could gag on a dick. In the literal sense. The asshole that chased them into the confessional booth, however, could.

"I'm getting a key!" the asshole shouted. Her rapidly disappearing footsteps proved her to be a bitch of her word.

While it would have been an ideal opportunity for Yeojin and Choerry to escape in that moment, they decided not to, because deepthroat glory holes in confessional booths are tight as hell.

“Y-Yeojin, your mouth is tight as heck.”

Yeojin gagged in response.

Choerry began bucking, barely bothering to back off or brake, betting the bitch below would brave the barrage. Brewing in her balls, a big batch of baby batter was braced to bust… Boobs.

All of that was to say, Choerry was about to add to the mess on Yeojin’s side of the booth. Already, ejected spit was dripping down Yeojin’s side of the wall, and had drenched the front of Yeojin’s outfit. Not much of it had reached the bare wooden seat, given the astounding absorbency of Yeojin’s clothing, but the seat was still drenched. As one might recall, Yeojin’s panties were nowhere to be found, and her unused pussy and asshole leaked natural and unnatural lubrications respectively at a truly bonkers rate.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna come, Yeojin!”

Yeojin gagged in response. Really, it couldn’t be expected that she would do anything else. She had a big cock fully blocking off her entire esophagus. For posterity’s sake, what she would have said out loud was “For as excited as I am to have your load bloating my stomach, I am exasperated with your insistence on not using adult sexual terminology. Don’t say ‘come.’ Just say ‘cum.’ Say it with me. Cum. Cum. Cum. Fuck it, I’d even accept ‘climax,’ or something equally as romance novel-esque. You know what? Be clinical about it. Just say ‘ejaculate’ and—gag gargle gargle gargle gag gag gargle.” at which point, Yeojin would have become just drunk enough on her asphyxiation to stop thinking in so much detail.

The cum was not to come, however. The lock on Choerry’s side clicked open and she shrieked as she was pulled out. Yeojin’s throat was vacated in one, swift, barely splinter-avoidant motion. Immediately after, there was silence.

Until Yeojin's door flew open and she was yanked out of the booth!

Yeojin screamed, "Let me go, you goblin fuc—... goddammit Vivi! Who the fuck invited you?"

Yes, it was the worst, dumbest, and most pointless member of Loona, Vivi, who was the buzzkill. She was dressed up like some stupid collar-wearing priest. Or she was just making clergy look bad. It was hard to say.

"Yeojin! You can't have sex in a church! What are you thinking?"

"Boo you whore. Where's Choerry?"

Vivi shrugged. "She ran away as soon as she saw me. Real fast."

"Who wouldn't, you dumb bitch?"

"Ugh! Come with me, already."

"Why not? I have nothing better to do now that Choerry and her magnificent cock are gone."

~~~

Vivi has no scientific classification, as she is a bitch, and no scientist wants to be associated with her. But I guess she has to be in this documentary now that she's here, so we'll call her Stoopidiot Vivwhore or something. Honestly, nobody cares.

Well anyway, Vivwhore is taking Yawjinius to the church's office, but it feels like there's no more point to narrating here because Vivwhore ruins everyone's time. Really, I'm sorry she's even here.

I'll go get a stiff drink and come back a little drunk. Maybe then I can put up with her bullshi—Hey, it's Jinso—I mean Skinnierbutlongershlongius Jinsolitus! She's already completely stark-ass naked! And she's kicking Vivwhore out of the office! Excellent! Now we can continue this documentary in high spirits.

It looks like Jinsolitus is also interested in mating with Yawjinius. A dance of courtship begins. As we can see, this dance is quite frenzied. Yawjinius obviously wants to mate as well, having gone unfinished with Cherrinus, but she needs to test the fitness of her potential new mate. She can do this by... trying to escape?

Yawjinius wants to mate, I'm quite sure. Yes, she is merely testing Jinsolitus with a race in the very limited space of the church office, and making sure Jinsolitus is capable of dodging predators by throwing bibles at her. Ouch, that one looks like it hurt. And there goes Yawjinius, vaulting over the desk and toward—OH DAMN, did you see the way Jinsolitus caught her right out of the air and slammed her on the desk?! That looked unnecessarily painful! I guess that's what she gets for leaving some of her clothes on. I mean, that's a rough mating dance! Oh, and now she's pushing her dick down Yawjinius' throat.

~~~

The desk inched forward with every one of Jinsoul's violent thrusts.

"Fucking slut! That hurt!" Jinsoul shouted, referring to the reversed, red, hilariously accurate imprint of a "Holy Bible's" front cover on the side of her face.

Yeojin gagged in response. A few times. A bunch actually. It may not have really been an intentional response. Her throat wasn't massively stretched like it was when it had Choerry’s dick in it, but Jinsoul's felt like it was nearly battering the entrance to her stomach. Her response to Jinsoul might have actually been the way she clawed at Jinsoul's ass and kicked wildly in the air (hard to tell). Having her back slammed on a pastor's desk knocked the wind out of her, and it didn't make meaningful communication any easier. All this ignoring the huge cock blocking her vocal chords.

Jinsoul snatched Yeojin’s arms away fromher butt. "Bitch! Cut it out! Ugh!"

To immobilize Yeojin entirely, Jinsoul clambered onto her knees on top of the desk, pushing Yeojin down so her ass hung off the opposite side, and trapped Yeojin’s elbows in the crooks of her legs. This meant Jinsoul couldn't achieve the perfect angle on Yeojin’s head to insert herself entirely, but her dick was, as cannot be understated, fucking long as hell.

Yeojin heaved her lower body up in one last attempt at a kick to Jinsoul's face, but Jinsoul easily caught her feet and held her in place. Yeojin was thoroughly stuck, with her short skirt flipping down (or up, from her perspective) to expose her most vulnerable zone to Jinsoul. Talk about a mistake. Or a predicament. Or a... you know… definitely consensual upside-down throat fuck? Emphasis on that question mark.

"You're fucking mine, you little sex toy!" Jinsoul released a foot briefly to three-finger slap Yeojin's clitoris like a carnival hammer game with a defective button, and she clearly intended to win the biggest teddy bear.

If there were ever a scream that could be described as both muffled and blood-curdling, it was Yeojin's in that moment. Her fingers flexed uselessly in the air to either side of Jinsoul's hips.

Jinsoul shuddered and bounced her ass as hard as she could without accidentally releasing Yeojin’s arms. Her pussy dripped onto Yeojin’s nose, and the juice rolled down to mix with Yeojin’s flowing tears. "Yeah! Do that again! I love your vibration mode! Haha!"

Another full-force smack broke the bell at the tippy top of the game, splashing a surprising quantity of Yeojin’s underutilized pussy juice onto Jinsoul's face. Yeojin lost any control she had been trying to hold onto. Her burning lungs tried (and failed) to shove air out around Jinsoul's cock, only serving to increase Jinsoul's enjoyment. Her muscles also failed, and a stream of piss fired out of her, nearly straight up and back down in a short arc to soak her skirt, top, face, and Jinsoul's stomach. She didn't really register the taste as it reached Jinsoul's cock and was therefore shoved against her tongue. The desk was drenched. Expense papers, tithe reports, and even more bibles were saturated in slightly yellow liquid. It would be a genuinely gross shame for Yeojin to drown like that, which was not too far from happening.

It was a good thing Jinsoul was always a quick shot!

With one last bounce of her ass, Jinsoul sighed heavily and emptied herself almost directly into Yeojin’s stomach. She released Yeojin’s legs, letting them thump limply against the front of the desk, so she could squeeze her own tits and pinch her own nipples (probably since Yeojin’s were still hiding under a piss-soaked shirt).

Thirty or so belly-bloating seconds later, Jinsoul made the long, long, long, we-get-it-your-dick-is-very long slide out of Yeojin’s mouth. Seriously, that was like a half a meter of cock. Or it just seemed to be that big in comparison to tiny little Yeojin.

The last few centimeters allowed Yeojin’s airways to open up. She gasped and coughed and frantically thrashed around, slapping Jinsoul's legs. Puddles of her piss on the desk spread around as she hacked up her lungs.

"You insane fuckwad—hurk—shitfish!" She managed to scream between coughs. "You wanna fuckin' KILL ME?!"

Jinsoul stood on the desk, feet on either side of Yeojin’s head, wiggling her toes in the piss puddles. "Well like sometimes, yeah," she said, deadpan, "Hey, you're covered in pee."

"Bitch, I fucking know!"

~~~

Wow. What a turn of events that couldn’t have been predicted.

Hey look, now Jinsolitus is urinating on Yawjinius. That's a post-mating ritual, despite having not mated properly. Yes it was, as is Yawjinius repeatedly punching Jinsolitus in the dick. Oh, don't worry, nobody’s getting hurt. We can hope. I mean definitely not. Trust me, I’m a biologist*.

Poor Yawjinius. It seems that Jinsolitus is not simply a mate, but a predator in disguise, like one of those various invertebrates that engages in breeding and then immediately eats their mate. Though, in this particular situation, no breeding occurred, even if Yawjinius does appear to be a little bit bloated. And also in this particular situation, Jinsolitus is probably not going to eat her, if for no other reason than eating someone covered in mixed piss would be nasty. Eating each other isn’t really a thing in this ecosystem, actually.

If Yawjinius now wants to continue her day of faux mating, but not fornicating because they’re still in a church, she must now decide if she will attempt to further engage Jinsolitus, or leave unsatisfied.

~~~

Yeojin flicked the runny fluids off her eyelashes and glared at Jinsoul. “If I wasn’t so horny, I’d tell you to leave… but are you going to fuck my ass now or not?”

“I believe we’d both have to leave, considering we don’t own this place,” Jinsoul said with a shrug, “But, uh, no. I’m going to rail your mouth agai—”

The office door slammed open.

Vivi stepped into the office, pointing accusingly at Yeojin. “There she is! The demon possessed!”

Yeojin and Jinsoul stared back. Jinsoul was the first to speak. “You gonna finish that sentence?”

Vivi’s stupid hand faltered. “H-huh?”

“You said… ugh.” Jinsoul put her fingers to her forehead. “The demon possessed who? Yeojin?”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you such a moron, Vivi? Why are you even here?”

Rather than engage in the conversation, Yeojin started fingering her ass. She was really missing Choerry’s contribution to her pleasure.

“I-I’m not! I brought some exorcists with me so they can expel the demon.”

On cue, Heejin and Haseul walked through the door behind Vivi. Though, to her surprise (and let’s face it: everything surprises someone that dumb), both of them were entirely naked and stroking their cocks.

“Are we… in the right place?” Heejin asked, looking concerned.

“Yuuup yup!” Haseul chimed, biting her lip for a moment and doing double finger guns at Yeojin. “Gonna push that demon out her mouth from the opposite end!”

~~~

Collosollacockium Heejineulum and Gargantuagockus Hahsullicus are not, in fact, exorcists. Both of them, however, are hung (in the sense that their dicks are relatively close to Cherrinus’ length and girth, that is).

With Jinsolitus now chasing Vivwhore out of the office for a second time, perhaps Yawjinius now has the opportunity to properly mate. But there are two potential mates for her to choose from! Both appear to be physically fit, capable, and good for passing on desirable qualities to their offspring. Perhaps a contest is in order to determine which of the two will continue their genetic—Wait, right. They're just here to fuck her ass. Breeding would imply vaginal intercourse, but they can't do that because they're in a church. What a silly mistake for a very professional biologist* to make.

Either way, they still need to determine who gets to do the honors. "The honors" being Yawjinius' butthole. Let's observe and see how they—Or Hahsullicus can just force Heejineulum to go first. Well, I guess they're going for it. Let's continue to watch.

~~~

Yeojin was on her side on the desk, with Heejin spooning her. Heejin was grimacing, biting down on her lips.

“The fuck’s wrong with you, Heejin?” Yeojin asked.

“… It’s in my hair…”

“What is? The piss? No duh, Herlock. That’ll happen when you lie down in it.”

“Haseul pushed me… Why are we doing this here?”

“She pushed me too. Whatcha gonna do about it? The correct answer is ‘fuck your ass.’”

Haseul, standing between their legs, laughed, “Oooh, it’s not so bad Heejin. See?” She picked up one of the piss-saturated bibles and licked the cover. Heejin looked like she might puke, but Haseul smacked her lips a couple of times, trying to pick up on the taste. “Huh… is that yours or Jinsoul’s?”

Yeojin scowled. “Probably both. Can we just…?”

“Oh totally,” Haseul said and gave the book another lick before tossing it over her shoulder and dropping to her knees.

A moment later, Yeojin felt a hand spreading her asshole from one side, and Heejin’s eyes shot open. A quiet slurping sound gave Yeojin the impression that Haseul was licking or sucking Heejin’s dick.

One more moment later, Heejin’s cock was pushed up against Yeojin’s half-spread hole and shoved in. “Aw yeah, that works,” Yeojin moaned in delight. “E-ew, fuck,” Heejin moaned in also-delight-but-still-also-disgust.

Heejin’s thrusts were long and slow, but always ended with a quick pound, rippling her thighs and Yeojin’s butt. Each one spiked Yeojin’s head with sexual power. She might have been a little turned off to see the way Heejin nervously avoided touching as many wet surfaces as possible, including herself, but that’s what’s so great about the spooning position!

Haseul strolled around the desk, pushing pens, papers, and crucifixes off to clatter and/or shlop to the floor. Her focus remained on her members though, watching the way they (mostly Yeojin) writhed on the soaked surface.

“Fuck, Yeojin,” Heejin breathed. It seemed that was all she could manage to say, but Yeojin knew the implication: Her asshole was tight, it milked Heejin’s whole cock, and it needed to be painted with cum. The usual, really. She reached back to sensually cradle Heejin’s head, unable to see Heejin cringing away from her wet hand.

Haseul, on the other hand, she could see, climbing onto the desk on her hands and knees before dropping down, brushing her tits through the remaining puddles. She lifted Yeojin’s head a bit awkwardly to the side. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”

Yeojin did as she was told, and Haseul kissed her deeply. However, “kiss” in this case meant “tongue fuck” and “deeply” in this case meant that Haseul was licking parts of her that are far enough in the body as to have no slang words to describe them. Under most circumstances, it could have been quite uncomfortable, but with Heejin’s colossal cock pumping her ass and the surprising tenderness that Haseul tongue fucked her with, Yeojin found herself literally gushing.

“I think I can taste a liiittle bit of Jinsoul’s cum in there,” Haseul said after who-knows-how-many minutes of licking the entire interior of Yeojin’s mouth.

Perfectly on cue, Yeojin burped, filling her mouth with the smell of the gallon of fish jizz sloshing around her stomach. “Yup.”

“That and, ya’ know, the pee.”

A loud “hurk” came from behind Yeojin, and Haseul giggled. “Aw, Heejin! Are you okay?”

“Sorry… That’s just… nasty.” Heejin slowed down her thrusting considerably.

Yeojin rolled her eyes and twisted her upper body so she could personally deliver a look of boredom and disappointment.

With a devious smirk, Haseul slinked off the desk and around so she could lean over Heejin’s head. “You poor baby. I promise it’s not so bad! I’ll tell you what. If you make out with our little froggy while you fuck her, I’ll rewaaard you—”

Yeojin couldn’t hear most of what Haseul then whispered in Heejin’s ear, but Heejin’s expression shifted from consternation to surprise, and from surprise to desperation. Whatever the reward was, it was good, and it ended with Haseul pulling away, but reaching down to swirl a finger around Heejin’s nipple. “And when we get home, I’ll give you a nice…” She lightly pinched, forcing Heejin to moan. “Hot… looong… bath.”

Yeojin watched a sudden hunger overtake Heejin’s eyes, and had no time to react to the pounce. Heejin’s tongue was battling hers in a fraction of a second, and her thrusts into Yeojin’s asshole turned feral. Yeojin was definitely not complaining.

The ferocity of Heejin’s fucking distracted Yeojin from whatever Haseul was doing. There was only a split second, when Heejin backed off to gasp desperately at some new sensation, that Yeojin saw Haseul, one hand hidden behind Heejin’s lovely hips, and the other pointing her cock roughly at the place where Heejin’s cock met Yeojin’s ass. Alarms fired in her brain, but she couldn’t raise a finger to protest as Heejin wrapped her in a sloppy, moist bear hug.

As expected, a slight pressure at the rim of Yeojin’s butt turned into an unimaginable stretch, shoved in deeper by Heejin’s cock. A shock of adrenaline ran through her entire body and time slowed down. Haseul was pushing Yeojin’s legs out of the way and slamming into her asshole alongside Heejin, but totally out of sync. Her movements were smoother than Heejin’s, and far deeper considering her more advantageous position. Yeojin screamed into Heejin’s mouth, but nobody checked to see if the scream came from pain or pleasure (it was pleasure).

After an eternity, Heejin loosened her constriction, and Yeojin didn't know what to do with her hands. She flapped them around, covered the parts of her face not overwhelmed by Heejin, grabbed her own tits under her shirt, held her knees back, pulled her hair, groped at Haseul, latched onto Heejin’s arm, and punched the air in rapid succession over and over and not necessarily in that order. Her expression changed just as fast between agony, ecstasy, and anything else that might indicate she was losing her mind to the double anal fucking. And when Heejin separated their faces for air, Yeojin struggled to say more than one repeated word.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fu—ungh! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. AaaAAAH! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

“Mommy…” Heejin moaned, looking up at Haseul, “Your cock feels so good squeezed against mine.”

Haseul smiled. “And your butt looks so cute with my finger in it, baby girl.”

“Dear god,” Yeojin managed to mumble, ignoring the awkward, sexually charged lovey doviness.

~~~

That double penetration went so much more smoothly than I ever could have anticipated, sheesh. I—Well I’m not god, but what can I do for you?

“I’d do anything for one more cock right now.”

Hold up. What are you doing, Yawjinius?

“The fuck do you mean?”

I mean how are you talking to me right now?

“You’re here and so am I, fuckwit. Do I get another cock in my ass or not?”

Now hang on there. You’re currently being fucked in a church office.

“How would you know that if you’re not god? And by the way I think it’s called a ‘sacristy.’”

Nobody knows what a sacristy is! When you say “office” a very similar image is conjured in the mind to what a sacristy looks like! Not to mention, “office” is far more non-denominational, and far less likely to cause anybody specific to get offende—I… what… dear viewer, I’m sorry for this, uh… technical difficulty? Yes, a perfectly normal technical difficulty that documentaries often experience.

“Viewer? You got cameras around here?”

No, no. Nothing so crude. I think “viewer” was the wrong term. I should have said “reader.”

“Well that’s a fuckin’ shame. I was hoping to get a recording of this.”

~~~

“Is… Yeojin okay?” Heejin asked.

“Thaaat’s a good question. Can you tell what she’s saying?”

Yeojin’s muttering was nearly inaudible.

“I think she implied she was talking to god…”

“Oh. Yiiikes.”

“Should we… stop fucking her? Give her a break? A different kind, I mean… since her mind is clearly fucked up.”

“Nah, she’s fine.”

~~~

“Whatever, god. Are you going to answer my prayer or not?”

To reiterate, not god. There will be no prayer answering.

“I don’t care what you fucking call it. Grant my wish. Make my dream come true. Third cock, chop chop. Make it snappy.”

…

“Are you trying to IGNORE me?!”

Members of the order Loonatoris prefer to nest in groups—

“HEY! Perk them ears up, home slice!”

Here, they’re well-protected, and they can mate endlessly in the colorful shadows cast by panes of stained glass—

“Fuck your stained glass! Heejin and Haseul’s dicks are great, but I want more!”

Could you get off my back? Maybe I can’t just make a third penis randomly appear. Did you consider that?

“Yeah right. I believe in you. You got this, god.”

Oh my… Look, Jinsoul’s out there somewhere. Just go find her.

“Pff, nah. She only wants to fuck my mouth.”

Vivi then.

“Ew, no.”

Good point. Nobody wants that. Well what about Choerry?

“Look. I’m far too busy getting double ass-railed to go traipsing around searching for that weirdo. Can’t you just call someone for me?”

I can’t call anyon—You know what? Fine. Fuck it. Oh wow. Another fascinating creature is on her way into the church right now who might want to mate with Yawjinius. Are you happy now?

“That sounded very sarcastic, but yes. What the hell is ‘Yawjinius’ though?”

It’s obviously you. It’s your scientific classification.

“Weird, but okay. Thanks god. I owe you one.”

Not god.

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

Unbelievable… Alright, where were we? Yes, Hahsullicus and Heejineulum have lifted Yawjinius off the desk and into their arms and they’re carrying her back out into the chapel. Did you catch why they decided to do that? I was super distracted. Oh well, doesn’t matter. They’re, uh, taking her out into the open to… dammit, I’m going to go get that drink. I’ll come back for the science stuff in a minute.

~~~

“Phew!” Heejin wiped her forehead as she laid Yeojin back on the lectern and glared at Haseul. “She is so much heavier than she looks… Two people should be able to lift her, like, twice as easily as that…”

“Huh?” asked Haseul, who hadn’t broken a sweat. “Oh! Oooh yeah. What’s she been eating? Raw iron?”

Yeojin gasped and sat up, sliding a couple centimeters down the pair’s dicks. All three of them moaned a little.

Haseul recovered first. “Heeey, Yeojin! Finally awake?”

“Wh-what? What happened?”

“Oh honeeey,” Haseul cooed, and stroked Yeojin’s hair, “You started speaking in tongues to someone who wasn’t there.”

Heejin cut in. “Then you started cumming, but it was like… a super long orgasm. After a minute, you just passed out.”

“And so you carried me into the most fucking obviously visible part of the church without even taking your cocks out of my asshole? Just right out in the open where anyone could catch us?”

“Yyyup,” said Haseul, “Guess we could have thought that through a little better.”

Yeojin squinted. “What the fuck are you talking about? That’s exactly what I would have done too.”

Heejin shivered. Droplets of piss fell out of her hair and onto the chancel. “We could have at least looked around for some towels.”

“Just use that.” Haseul pointed at the altar, over which was a very soft-looking cloth.

“But there’s… candles and shit on it.”

“Nobody cares that you’re soaked in pee,” Yeojin said, poking Heejin in the boob, “We’re all soaked in pee. Blame Jinsoul. She’s a bitch.”

Haseul sighed, leaning against the lectern. “Awww, but I didn’t get soaked in—”

“That’s your own damn fault,” Yeojin interrupted, “Now help me find the third cock I made god promise me.”

Heejin and Haseul stared at each other for at least ten seconds. Haseul was the first to start pulling her dick out of Yeojin. “Maaaybe we should go home. Or a hospit—Ow!”

Yeojin grabbed and dug her nails into Haseul’s hips and held her in place. “No, let’s wait. God promised.”

Heejin fidgeted with her fingers. “Yeojin… I don’t think he promised you anything…”

“God wasn’t a ‘he,’ bitch.”

“Sorry…? She?”

“No, no. You shouldn’t make assumptions about god’s gende—”

Just then, the front doors to the church burst open, flooding the chapel with light. A single silhouette of a fairly curvy body with a massive schlong hanging between its legs stood in the doorway, striking a powerful stance. The doors then slowly shut, creaking loudly, but the figure shoved them apart again and took several steps forward. Once the intense backlight was gone, it was apparent who the newcomer was.

Yeojin said it first, whispering the name, “Enormustothepointofabsurditinicumphallussis Hiyunjicum…”

“What?” Heejin and Haseul said simultaneously.

~~~

Alright, I’m back. Nothing weird better have happ—How does she know Hyunjin’s scientific classification?!

~~~

All eyes (six of them, to be specific, since her own are not included) were on Hyunjin. She looked from side to side and shifted uncomfortably. “Why is everyone looking at me?”

Haseul was the first to speak. “Yeojin’s prayer was answered!”

“I didn’t pray though, apparently” Yeojin said. Her voice sounded a little wet from the drool, “But Hyunjin is a literal gift from god. Hyunjin! Get up here!”

“Why?!” Hyunjin shouted back across the church, “You sound like a crazy person!”

Heejin snickered. “That’s nothing new.”

“I want you to fuck my ass at the same time as Haseul and Heejin!”

“Okay! My mistake! You sound like an insane person!”

“You just walked into a church totally naked!” Yeojin screamed, “Who the fuck is the crazy person here?!”

“I just watched Haseul and Heejin do it a minute ago and I’m sixty percent sure nobody saw me! I’m just doing what they’re doing!”

“What does it look like they’re doing right now?!”

There was a long pause. Echoes from the shouting match finally died down.

“That’s some solid logic!” Hyunjin shouted, “I’ll be right there!”

“So… what exactly are we doing now?” Heejin asked.

Yeojin shrugged. “I thought it was pretty simple. The two of you keep fucking me, and Hyunjin fucks me too.”

Haseul briefly attempted to reason things out. “I think she meant—Weeell,” and she quickly gave up, “Aaalright. Heejin, grab my shoulder with that hand… Yup, perfect, and now we each lift one of her legs.”

Heejin watched Haseul suspiciously to make sure she was doing her part as they hoisted Yeojin up into a throne made of their arms and dicks. The jostling and unintentional thrusting made Yeojin close her eyes and whine. She was getting antsy about the impending triple penetration. She wouldn’t have to wait long… as long as no more odd interruptions occurred.

When Yeojin opened her eyes, she lurched back in shock. Hyunjin was already directly in front of her like some kind of perverted, holy ghost (not even in an offensive way if you note the placement of the comma).

“Are you ready Yeojin?” Hyunjin asked, with her cock already poised between Heejin’s and Haseul’s.

Yeojin looked down. There were a few dicks among all idols that were known for being exceptionally large. Karina’s, Shownu’s, Johnny’s, Handong’s, and a few others’. Hyunjin’s was a secret contender, only having been unleashed upon someone outside of Loona for the first time within the last year. Luda had advised that “my pussy will never be the same,” shortly after the second to last Queendom episode’s recording, and had walked with a limp until the day before their final performance.

Every other member of Loona, including Yeojin, had their experience with Hyunjin, and were highly unlikely to be rendered catatonic. Yeojin was, however, having her doubts. Two well above average dicks were already enough to get her to meet god but a third? And Hyunjin’s humongous hammer, to be specific? She was likely to meet Chuuthulhu.

~~~

To reiterate, not god. Not an elder god either.

~~~

And yet, Yeojin absolutely could not say no. She nodded once, and her asshole was swiftly stretched out to an incomprehensible degree. She hung her head back in a silent scream of theorized-and-yet-surprising ecstasy. Surely nothing could fill her ass more than these three cocks. That is not foreshadowing. Seriously, nothing could fill her ass more than those three cocks in that moment. Nobody else was going to fit, logistically, in the space around Yeojin, to be able to put another cock in her ass. Her throat, perhaps, if one were to stand on someone else’s shoulders, but certainly not her ass. The three cocks in her were overall the volumetrically largest available. Nobody was going to leave the church to get Karina, for example, to replace one of the cocks currently in place just to increase the amount of cock filling Yeojin’s asshole. This story is dumb enough. One should not expect more people to randomly appear and take part in this anal gangbang. The cover for this story has already been made and while it was made with minimal effort, no more effort needs to be put into it. Even if they really got in close to each other like they were trying to take a group selfie, not a single additional person could possibly get where they needed to be to insert themselves to be the fourth cock inside Yeojin. No, you’re convincing yourself.

Heejin whined, writhed, and struggled to stay in place as Hyunjin slowly sawed in and out. Haseul grinned, bit her lip, and giggled. Hyunjin herself stared hungrily at Yeojin’s wet tube top-covered tits.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Haseul asked, dropping a hand to grope Heejin’s ass.

Heejin’s response was to first say, “M-mommy, she’s smushing our dicks together so tight,” and second to immediately lean over to kiss Haseul.

Haseul sweetly returned the kiss and crooned lovingly.

“Stating the obvious during sex is so weird…” Hyunjin murmured before speeding up her thrusts.

All of the women moaned in a four-part chorus of chaos and disharmony, nearly drowning out the sloppy noise of lube slipping around everybody’s dicks and the more subtle sound of the fish jizz in Yeojin’s stomach being sloshed around.

Yeojin’s legs flopped up and down by Hyunjin’s sides like excessive ragdoll physics. She was no longer an active participant (not that she had been for the last several encounters), merely allowing the lust and unblinking enthusiasm of mostly Hyunjin to move her as needed to bring them all ever closer to paradisiacal simultaneous orgasm.

The simultaneous part didn’t include Yeojin. She was already cumming, hard and repeatedly, so fast and frequently as to have resembled a genuine medical emergency…

~~~

“Yo, god.”

Dammit, not god! Now what?!

“Came back to say thanks. I figured I sounded a little ungrateful before, so… thanks for the third cock.”

Honestly I had nothing to do with—Actually, you’re welcome. Can we go back to what we were doing now, separately?

“Yeah. Just one question though. This three cocks in my ass thing is kind of the greatest thing of all time, and in my head I described it a moment ago as ‘so good I’m gonna fucking die.’ Am I about to fucking die?”

How should I know?

“I would assume you’d know, being g—I mean a documentary narrator.”

Hm. I suppose there have been one or two moments in the last few minutes in which your potential demise has been mentioned, and there could be a whole circle of life narrative in here.

“Wow. Fucked right to death. That’s pretty metal.”

Ferrous indeed, but no. I’d say you’re fine.

“Living would probably be the ideal outcome. I’m gonna have to experience this triple penetration again, for sure… Damn, I’m such a fucking slut.”

I believe Jinsolitus used the term sex toy.

“Haha, alright that works. You’re cool, god. You know that?”

Definitely not.

“Not cool? What a nerd.”

No, I mean god. Not god, you scoundrel.

“I’m gonna call someone at Second Ring to tell them to name a fleshlight that looks like me ‘Scoundrel.’”

Sure. Okay… Ah, the circle of life. And by that I mean nobody is dying and everybody is having a great time fucking Yeojin’s ass or occasionally her mouth. Her ass is the circle, though somewhat triangular at the moment, and she is feeling extra alive. Ergo: circle of life.

~~~

Heejin halted her kiss with Haseul. “Hey, I’m going to cum soon… Where should—”

“Wow, me too,” interrupted Hyunjin.

“Inside me! Inside!” Yeojin screamed, her lack of volume control now a consequence of her five dozenth orgasm.

Heejin squinted at Hyunjin as they both continued to bounce Yeojin up and down between them. “It hasn’t been that long. You’re cumming already?”

“Hey, some people just jizz sooner than others,” Jinsoul said.

Everybody except Yeojin looked down. Jinsoul was sitting on the floor behind Haseul, and was pushing a very large metal cup into the center of the gangbang.

Hyunjin glanced side to side, not at anybody in particular. “Are we doing a countdown or something?”

Haseul stroked Hyunjin’s arm. “You can cum aaany time you would like. I would love to feel your batter covering my cock and Heejin’s, packing this little froggy sooo full of—”

A squeak from Heejin distracted Haseul from continuing, “Yes… mommy!”

The first and likely smallest load was pumped out of Heejin and into the very cramped interior of Yeojin’s butt. Liquid also came out of Yeojin’s mouth, but it was drool. The hot, sticky, not-piss filled every bit of space it could reach before some had to be ejected down and out from between the three dicks and into Jinsoul’s big cup. The cup is probably foreshadowing.

With that, Heejin triggered Hyunjin’s orgasm, and Haseul figured she might as well cum too. Their combined semen blasted out of every nook and gap. Yeojin’s orgasms continued throughout, overloading her mind. Her tongue fell out of her mouth and her eyes rolled. Being fucked silly was kind of one of her hallmarks, but being fucked silly into endless orgasms on three dicks at once was a nice departure from the norm (the norm was generally one to three orgasms).

Hyunjin was the first to pull out of Yeojin, her dick being followed by a massive spurt of semen before Yeojin’s ass closed up again. She wasn’t quite gaped enough to let everything out while still plugged up with two more cocks. When Haseul and Heejin pulled out at the same time though, an absolute torrent of cum overfilled Jinsoul’s big cup thing and pooled all over the floor around it, quickly covering everyone’s feet.

Jinsoul picked up the cup. “Yeah, this will do nicely.”

Stumbling back (and thus revealing she wasn’t doing anything to help hold Yeojin up), Haseul looked Jinsoul up and down. “Yooou’re not planning on forcing Yeojin to drink all of that are you? Also where’d you get that?”

“Trust me. If you weren’t here to stop me, I’d be forcing this shit down Yeojin’s face with a funnel and a leaf blower. But as it stands I have other plans. And this old thing? It was in a corner somewhere with a plaque that said ‘holy water.’ Didn’t seem important so I dumped it.”

Hyunjin took Haseul’s step away as her cue to do the same, and dropped Yeojin’s legs, ceremoniously because they were in a church but no different from how she’d drop Yeojin normally. Heejin may have been strong, but the sudden gravitational force broke her grip. Yeojin flopped onto the floor, barely conscious, pouring jizz from her ass, and laying in a lake of it.

As the only one with any shame in the church, apparently, Heejin blushed. “Sorry… she slipped.”

Haseul shrugged. “She’s alright. She even managed to get this far without a drop of cum on her face.”

“Except,” Jinsoul noted, “I came in her face, and pissed on it.”

Hyunjin scowled. “Wait, is that why she was all wet?”

“Yes. She also pissed on herself,” Jinsoul stated.

“Oh…” Hyunjin started to walk away.

Yeojin’s eyes fluttered open. “Fuck… Am I still alive?”

Haseul knelt down in the lake of cum and patted Yeojin’s forehead. “You sure are! Aaand you’re a fantastic, field-tested triple cock sleeve!”

Yeojin sat up, jizz dripping off of her back and hair. As soon as she turned around, rapid footsteps approached, and suddenly Choerry dropped to her knees next to Haseul, furiously jerking herself off.

“I’m arriving, Yeojin! Please take my white stuff!”

Nobody had a good reaction for Choerry’s arrival, or for her arrival. Copious quarts of cum coated her quarry’s countenance, completely covering Yeojin, cranium to clitoris.

Yeojin wiped globs of cum off of her eyes. “Where the fuck did you run off to, Choerry?”

Choerry twitched as her orgasm died down. “Well I kind of hid in the rafters, and then behind that thing.” She pointed at the altar.

Haseul laughed. “Well, at least one specific person got lost and hasn’t showed up again.”

Jinsoul hopped off the chancel and past the knocked-over pew. “Not exactly.”

“What’s that mean?” Heejin asked as she helped Yeojin to her feet with no small amount of difficulty as they both slipped a bit here and there. Everybody made their way toward the exit, moving a bit slowly for Yeojin’s benefit, leaving a trail of jizztastic gooeyness.

Against the far wall, everybody saw what Jinsoul was talking about and collectively groaned in disgust because it was that bitch whore stupid bitch Vivi. She was upside down, shoulders on the floor, back against the wall, and legs hanging down next to her head. Her priest outfit was quite disheveled and missing the pants at first glance, but at second glance it was clear that her pants had been used to tie her arms behind her back and to a curtain’s bottom pole.

“Ugh,” Yeojin moaned, “You didn’t just kick her all the way out?”

Jinsoul put a hand up. “Calm down yall. It’s not like I fucked her. Besides, this way we can go home without having to deal with her shit.” She hefted the holy water (or rather, holy cum) basin a little higher. “And also…”

Vivi looked desperately at the other members for help and tried to say something. That’s when everybody noticed her priest’s collar had been detached from where it had been and shoved into her mouth as a makeshift gag. And what a gag it was! Nobody needed to hear that dumb whore’s voice.

With a grunt, Jinsoul tossed the contents of the basin onto Vivi, drenching her in mixed cum and all the shame a terrible person like her deserves.

~~~

And so, Churgirleum Yawjinius and her friends, not including Vivwhore, stepped out of the church’s front doors, into the beautiful light of spring midday, enjoying a hearty laugh.

Yes, spring. The leaf canopy is getting denser as creatures play beneath. The shade provided will be important, as summer creeps ever closer.

For now, though, the clean, crisp air revitalizes all. The occasional light rain shower washes away any of the grime left from winter, and memories of the cold are long gone.

I think we’ve all discovered some new kinks here today, haven’t we, dear viewers? I’ll leave you with this fact, definitely about nature: Art is pointless. Exuberant and wonderful, but pointless. We say that we may be advanced by art and yet it does no such thing. We, nevertheless, are defined by our art, as are swaths of time. Pointless, art may be, but it is necessary.

Documentary fuckin’ accomplished.

~~~

*The narrator is not a biologist. You better fucking not be reading this footnote mid-story. Get back up there and finish reading the actual fic, dweeb!

[canonically47]

also i HATE when fandoms make up ships just for the sake of making them up. the biggest example i know is reed900, those guys never interacted and barely had ten minutes of screentime combined (and that's being generous), why do we have one fan-created full-length movie and multiple fanmade spin-offs based on them?

or in the TADC fandom, everyone immediately started saying "pomni and ragatha are in love" or "jax and gangle/jax and zooble enemies to lovers" or "caine x kinger >>>" or literally ANY PAIRING YOU CAN THINK OF. just for the sake of shipping. (for the record, i ship royalteeth; these are just examples)

now, am i saying i am against shipping culture altogether? absolutely not. i love shipping my silly fictional couples, often they are a source of comfort for me. but you cannot deny that some ships are made just for the sake of having characters in relationships - as if they wouldn't be good or even better off without one! who the hell came up with pomni x jax? they don't even have chemistry, are you just shipping them because main girl + main boy = love? is that really a good base for your ship?

this may just be because the concept of romance is beyond me as an aromantic person, but i swear, i am so tired of some of these ships. i do love a good crackship (lord knows what i've done with yansim, you would call me a hypocrite if you saw my fics) and main boy x main girl can always be done correctly (mostly if it's canon though, and not just for the sake of having the two main people in a straight ship) - conrisa (connor x risa from the unwind dystology) for example is an amazing protag x protag ship, but where conrisa excels, miracolev (miracolina x lev from the same books) falls flat for me;

but sometimes i do feel like shipping is done just for the sake of having a character in a romantic relationship, and not because the ship makes sense, has chemistry or interest in one another - just because romance is the way to go, i guess. another example is hank x connor from D:BH, my god, where the fuck did that one come from? it ruins the aspect of both characters as their stories have nothing to do with romance and they even have a father-son-like relationship! jeez people

and especially in media like TADC or hitman, which do not focus on romance at all but on existential crisises (TADC) and murder and moral questions (hitman), we do not need all the pomni x jax, gangle x jax, diana x 47, diana x lucas etc. nonsense. just enjoy the thing. just enjoy the individual character.

if this comes off wrong, i'm sorry - i have a lot of thoughts about this, and i cannot word it better <//3 i don't mean disrespect as, as i've said, i love a good crackship or just ship in general... it's just... why do we always have to ship everything and everyone?

[tuiyla]

i trust your takes more than anyone else’s in the whole glee fandom. what would you say are the best kurtcheltana episodes?

Oh wow Anon that's very flattering considering I've dropped off the face of the Earth and barely interact with tumblr or the Glee fandom anymore, but I appreciate it! Because I've been basically gone for a year and abandoned my rewatch my Glee memory isn't what it used to be but I'll gladly go down memory lane with you.

Previously Unaired Christmas

As soon as I remembered this ep there was no question in my mind that it's the ultimate Kurtcheltana ep. Yes yes it's not even technically canon but I've famously never cared about that. For starters, it has their only trio song, technically a quartet that is admittedly a bit yikes but then also a final song feat Kitty and ND. Since it's "set in 2012" Santana doesn't even officially live with Hummelberry, she just chose to visit them and give them thoughtful and also Santana-esque gifts. I think that's really cute. And yeah, the Mall Santa stuff is a little icky but the three of them are so cute and fun. It's just a low-stakes Kurtcheltana adventure where they're being silly and young and delightful. I love the Pezberry moments, of course, but it also has some of my fav Kurtana shots and just in general they feel like a very cohesive trio. PUC is legit one of the eps that best showcases the chemistry between these three and I can't not love that.

2. Girls (and Boys) On Film

This ep is actually where I abandoned my rewatch and that's weird to me because I was really looking forward to seeing it again. Santana, following the iconic ending to Diva immediately establishes herself as a force to be reckoned with in Bushwick and it's so, so delightful. Her casual "yeah it's a thing I do" to going through everyone's stuff is something only she could pull off. There is some hostility here, of course, as Rachel and Kurt never actually invited Santana to live with them so they're understandably thrown off by Santana not only inserting herself into their flat but also firmly into their lives. Excellent moments for the whole dynamic, best of all being Santana's whole speech starting with "Kurt, sit down" and, of course, the final scene with Pezberry. That scene to me embodies so much of what makes Santana in her current state work as a ch, an agent of chaos who is ultimately trying to be there for her friends. It's an excellent showcase of what she brings to the NYC plot and a simply impeccable Pezberry scene. Really strong establishing ep for what having Santana in New York will be like. Actually, it's also a real shame because it introduces what this trio dynamic will be like and then there are barely any more episodes truly following through on it. Shame.

Honourable mention to the two subsequent eps as I consider this to be an NYC trilogy of Santana being accepted as a full-fledged member of the loft. Feud has her calling Hummelberry her family and Guilty Pleasures the wholesome scene of reconciliation where they really become roommates.

3. Love, Love, Love/Tina in the Sky with Diamonds

Unfortunately, in general we more so have episodes that have good Kurtcheltana moments rather than being Kurtcheltana eps. The Beatles two-parter is a good example, where the few Kurtcheltana bits we have are excellent but unfortunately they're less prominent as a trio and more so have duo moments, mainly Pezberry in the first half and Hummelberry in the second. But there's good stuff here, from Rachel and Santana during the engagement to their cute little promise to each other when Kurt starts working in the diner. As with many things Glee, this cute trio moment is soured in hindsight of the direction s5 ended up taking but nothing can take it away from us, or how Kurt and Santana celebrated with Rachel after that.

These are the only ones I feel like are worth actually ranking but some other honourable mentions:

Lights Out: overall I found Kurt and Rachel encouraging Santana to find her dream to be underwhelmingly executed but who doesn't love At the Ballet and the three mini-mes during the sequence

A Katy or a Gaga: the formation of Pamela Lansbury

Trio: gets a DIShonourable shout out as it should have been a strong Kurtcheltana ep but the Pezberry feud overrode all

Old Dog, New Tricks: honestly barely counts but it's the last of what I could even call an ep with a Kurtcheltana moments. The back half of s5 gives us a crowded NY scene with not NEARLY enough Santana, much less Kurtcheltana - i.e. Opening Night has Kurt call Santana as reinforcement for encouraging Rachel but they don't actually have a moment. Sigh. But 5x19 at least gives us the best hug and Kurt and Santana both supporting Rachel and Kurt being supported in return. It's wholesome and it's the very last trace of our favourite dysfunctional Bushwick family.

Utter disgrace I can't name any season 6 episodes that would fall into this category but special shout out to Kurtcheltana starting us off on Home in 6x02, a moment I treasure very much. Thanks Anon, it was fun to think about all this stuff again! And now, predictably, I have Pezberry feels.

[ace-writer-lani]

Bianca deserves better

Rereading The Titan's Curse cause I legit forgot what happens and Bianca's lack of characterization kinda annoys me?

Like Rick is very good at writing complex characters but he seemed to use none of that for Bianca. We barely get to see her inner struggles and personality before she immidiately joins the Hunters and it just feels very flat.

Like I headcanon her as intelligent and very protective, especially over Nico, because she had to look after him for so long. And canonically she loves and cares about Nico a lot, but it's barely shown in the books.

In the second or third chapter of TTC she yells at him to shut up and later she joins the Hunters without a second thought. I mean, her reasons are very valid (because she is tired of so many responsibilities), but it still feels like Rick was trying to toss her aside as soon as possible.

Also before Bianca dies, she and Nico barely have many interactions with each other, so there isn't as much emotion to Nico finding out Bianca is gone than there should've been because we don't actually see how important she is to him.

Idk. Maybe I just think this way cause I'm writing a fic and trying to flesh out her character more.

[north-blue-hearts]

Heart of Gold

CisFem Reader x Trafalgar Law

CW: ptsd, trauma, depictions/implications of suicide and suicidal ideation, language, violence, blood, canonical character death, mature themes and events 18+

Chapter 7: Unchanged

You rest a bit when you get to your room, but you don’t sleep. Having a private room was a commodity on the space-efficient submarine, and you appreciated the gesture for what it was. The room itself was small, but there was a porthole that let you see the ocean as the ship traveled, a small and comfortable bed, a little storage room under it, a couple shelves and a flat surface for writing. There was even a small lamp that hung from the ceiling to provide light for reading when the main lights needed to be off.

Laying on the bed you watch the dark ocean shift idly by, barely taking note of the occasional fish or shoal that passes by. Dozing a little you try to relax, at least physically. Every time your mind wanders to the past, you force yourself to think of the crew.

The Heart Pirates didn’t exist centuries ago. So you pull their voices and their interactions into your mind. It’s difficult, there’s similarities that trigger older memories, mostly because from your perspective the other memories aren’t that old.

Eventually you fall back on a mantra.

“Every time I close my eyes, the ceiling changes, and the people change.” You murmur into the quiet room. “But the last few times I have closed my eyes, it has been the same. The world has changed, and yet it seems, for me it has stabilized.”

A bittersweet smile plays at your lips. Lami would be happy for you. Banchina would probably scold you for holding onto the past, but you could see her smile just as well.

Resting was beginning to lose its effectiveness, and before your mind could wander off again you left your room. Making your way easily through the mostly identical halls, you reached the mess hall and walked into the back to see Bepo beginning to prep for dinner.

“I hope I am-hem – that I’m not too late to help?” You smile as Bepo turns to you.

“Not at all!” He answers, indicating the board and knife. “If you want to start prepping vegetables, I’ll get the rest.”

“Of course.”

You get to work breaking down the vegetables, following Bepo’s guidance. The mink talked while he worked, but it was mostly what he needed to do, or what he needed you to do, and what he was going to do. It was like he was keeping himself on task by talking everything out. It was extra useful for you, because it was easier to determine what he’d need from you since he was constantly listing off steps and next steps.

According to Shachi it was something he did all the time when it came to chores. Fighting and working in the operating theater, however, and Bepo was almost completely silent, aside from the occasional apology.

“We’re making two dishes tonight?” You ask after a moment, quietly proud of yourself for sounding informal.

“Yes, tonight’s meal is pasta and red sauce with garlic bread. The captain isn’t fond of it so I’m making him some rice balls instead.” Bepo explains, never turning his attention away from his work. “Will you deliver them?”

“Deliver?”

“I bet he’s gonna forget to come eat.” Bepo says, and then promptly apologizes. “He gets focused on a plan or an experiment and if we don’t force him, he can go days without eating or sleeping properly.”

“That is… surprisingly unwise for someone so smart.” You say, grinning deviously at Bepo. “I shall be fierce in my delivery.”

Bepo’s face shifts oddly, and he gets a hand over his mouth before he laughs. It’s a short laugh and he looks away, apologizing again. “Sorry – pfft, hahaha!” He falls into a small fit of laughter, apologizing between outbursts for a few moments before he manages to get himself back under control.

It’s so adorable you don’t even feel bad that he’s probably laughing at you.

“Fierce.” He finally manages to say. “I’m sorry.”

You smile, taking the rice balls. “It is quite alright.” You stop and close your eyes in a grimace. “It’s… all good?”

Bepo tilts his head. “Um?”

“Law has stated- said, that I need to speak informally, for safety’s sake.” You explain. “Mister Bep-er… Bepo I haven’t ever spoken casually before now. I am aware, I mean, I know how to, and I’ve had friends who do, and all of the crew does, but it is proving difficult.”

Your face scrunches up a little in continued frustration. “Hearing and knowing translate poorly to speaking, it seems.”

“Hmm… I can let everyone know. We can… help?” His head tilts a little. “Like if you revert without correcting yourself.”

“Thank you, I think that would be most ideal. It will aid me, ah, it’ll help.”

“Best.” Bepo offers. “It would be best.”

“It would be—Oh! Oh, it’s better to say ‘best’ than ‘most ideal’?” You question and Bepo nods with a smile. “Very well then, thank you. I shall deliver this to the Captain.”

Bepo gives a very quiet sigh as you leave, realizing that this is going to be a lot of work.

Law’s cabin is located fairly centrally in the ship. It gives him access to the bridge, mess, and operating rooms within nearly equal distance. Considering it was easily the largest cabin on the ship, you imagine it had been designed with that kind of perk in mind.

Knocking on the door you wait for a moment in silence before knocking again with a little more force. Your brow crinkle, but you’re certain you can hear movement on the other side of the door. You give it another moment before you open the door and let yourself in.

Law is hunched over the desk, books open and papers set around. It looked a bit chaotic, but there was method to the madness of it, and you realize he’s trying to figure out what he can about your tears.

“My apologies for the intrusion,” you begin to say as he glances over at you before looking back down at what he was working on.

“One moment.” He looks around from book to book and makes a few notes on the paper in front of him before he sets the pen down. He straightens up, stretching a bit and letting his back crack, before looking back toward you. “Dinner time already?”

“Indeed.” You reply, handing over the plate of rice balls, not wanting to risk setting them on something important. “After you eat, I could stay and assist you.”

“Mm, can you phrase that differently?” He prompts, taking the plate and beginning to eat.

You consider for a second. “When you’re done eating, I can give you…. Ah, what was the phrase? Give you a hand job?”

Law chokes on his food and sets the plate down on the desk. Even with all the times you’d caught him off guard before now you’d never seen him so flustered as this.

“I said it incorrectly.” You state apologetically, pouring him a glass of water and handing it over. He’s still trying to clear the food caught in his throat, but he’s nodding as he takes the offered glass. “Sorry.”

He puts his hand up as he drinks, coughing a couple more times before he’s finally cleared things out. There’s a moment of stillness between the two of you as he considers his next words, and without looking at you he speaks.

“It’s just ‘give you a hand’.” He says finally, his face is red from the choking spell, but his ears look red too. “When you’re offering to help someone, you don’t need the qualifier of ‘job’ at the end.”

“Is a hand job something else then?” You question innocently. “Perhaps assault?”

Law lets a breath out slowly; eyes closed, shaking his head. “It’s intimate in nature. Just… don’t go around offering people hand jobs.” He says finally, returning to his meal with a scowl.

“Very well.” You smile a little, staying by the desk, trying not to think too much about how you had accidentally propositioned the captain.

Law regards you while he eats one of the rice balls and finally asks. “Is there something else?”

“Oh, I was waiting for you to finish eating so I could be of assistance.” You answer, gesturing to the research laid out on his desk. “Should I come back later?”

Law considers things for a moment. “No, you can stay. Read over what I have while I eat, and we’ll go from there.”

You nod, stepping around the desk and looking over the notes and books that were laid out. There were history books, referencing the void century and the theories around what may have happened. A book about the Ope Ope No Mi specifically. There were more notes in the margins in, you assumed, Law’s handwriting than there was original text. Whole sections were crossed out in some places just from what little you skimmed.

Connecting the books to the notes you realize that half his query was about the variances and safety of the tears you could create, and the other half was on the Devil fruit’s possible impacts on you.

“You… appear to be looking for a… cure?” You question tentatively.

“… yeah.” He replies quietly, finishing the last of his meal.

You're quiet for long moments, but Law doesn’t say anything. He hardly moves as you look over the notes again. You purse your lips, fighting back the emotion welling up inside you. Control is difficult after so long without any emotions, but you manage.

“I wouldn’t have to count my tears?” Your question is quiet, and you’re blinking rapidly trying to beat back the tears threatening to fall.

“You wouldn’t have to hold them in either.” He admits, a tone of frustration in his voice.

The dam breaks at the statement and you step back from the desk as a few tears escape you along with a stifled laugh. A breath of air with a note behind it, nothing more - relief captured in a single beat. Heavy tears slip past your chin and thunk onto the floor with the crinkle of breaking glass.

“Sorry, sorry the gold ones always break.” You explain automatically, wiping your face and trying to calm yourself. “The glass is so thin.”

“Please don’t apologize.” Law says softly, carefully walking over to you and handing you a couple tissues before he crouches down. “Gold comes from… relief?”

“Historical data and personal experience compel me to admit it comes from several, generally positive, emotional states. Though, you are correct that relief is one.” You answer, face warm. “I would prefer to not match all my emotions to tears, doctor.”

“I won’t tell anyone else. Part of it is wanting to keep my crew safe, but part of it is specifically wanting to keep you safe.” He explains, standing back up. “People know you have a unique gift, but I don’t think the exact details of your ability have survived all this time. Would you rather someone experiment on you for the details?”

“… I would rather someone believe the heart was lost at sea.” You admit, eyes more on the floor than Law.

“Are your tears all that change?” He asks quietly, but the implication and concern are obvious.

Your fingers flex, and you chew on your bottom lip. Your hesitation alone is enough of an answer, and you know if you tell him no now, he’ll know better. You had long since decided to trust him implicitly, and with literally not one else alive to have your back, it seemed imprudent to leave him in the dark about anything.

If Law betrayed you, it wouldn’t matter to what degree. You had nowhere else to go.

“If… if I bleed, it… but no one knows. I found out one day by chance, and I didn’t even tell my friends.” You admit.

Law puts a hand on your shoulder leaning down and catching your gaze. The golden-yellow eyes hold your gaze, and he squeezes your shoulder gently. “We’re going to do everything we can to protect you, but people… The Warlords and the World Government will experiment, especially if you don’t give them something.”

“… People believed if I was injured or…” you clear your throat meaningfully and look away. “That my tears wouldn’t… wouldn’t contain anything. All I do know is that be it tears or blood, it needs to be surrounded by air. Soaked into cloth, or dried upon skin, it won’t… change.”

“Use that to your advantage. If anyone presses, then say of course it’s untested. Who would risk it?” He offers.

You nod in agreement as his room fills the small office and he shifts the broken glass and gold into a small pile on his desk.

“I may begin to forget to count my tears, if you continue to gather them for me like that.” You muse, a small smile on your face.

Law reaches out for you, the back of his finger brushing across your cheek. “That wouldn’t be so -.”

A knock at the door causes you both to nearly leap out of your skins.

“Captain!” Shachi’s voice calls from the other side of the door. “Is Bell in there with you?”

Something in the question compels you to take a step back from Law. You can feel your heart trying to pound in your chest, but you were doing your best to keep it from showing on your face. The captain regards you for a moment before answering Shachi.

“Yeah.”

The door opens and Shachi smiles when he sees you. “Sorry, Bepo said he sent you off to bring the Captain his meal before you had gotten to eat.” He holds up a bowl and a couple pieces of bread wrapped in a napkin. “When you didn’t come back, I got sent to make sure you ate.”

You can feel Law’s eyes on you, but you keep your focus on Shachi with a smile. “Thank you, and please thank Bepo for looking out for me like that.” You say as you take the offered bowl and bread. “I can set this on the plate from earlier, and I’ll bring them back to the mess hall later.”

“Oh, that was almost informal.” Shachi beams. “Good job, Bell.”

Law sets his plate down on an open spot on the desk, and you set your meal on it. “Did you ask the crew for help?”

“Mm, Bepo specifically, but he promised to pass the word.” You answer, seating yourself. “Hearing the crew has not – hasn’t effected my affect, it seems.”

Shachi makes a face, but you only catch a split second of it before he smiles. “Well, enjoy your meal. Bye Bell, later Cap’n.” He says cheerfully before leaving the office.

“Effected your affect?” Law prompts, a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. “You couldn’t be more formal if you tried.”

“I mostly certainly could.” You say with a grin. “Would you like me to speak as though you were the king?”

“No.” He answers quickly and flatly, and you smile as you begin to eat.