#it's simultaneously talked about a lot and not really that much so it feels strange lol

[yoroshiu]

There's something so cruel about how Sora had to carry the weight of multiple people's feelings alongside his own.

We, as people, already struggle to handle our emotions but imagine feeling two, or three, or four or more people's emotions as well. Like in Dream Drop, imagine taking in Roxas's grief and trauma within a single moment. Or feeling Ventus's own urges to save his friends throughout KH3. It's not shown as much with Xion or Vanitas, but I'd like to imagine that he felt echoes of what they felt in waves. And heck, while we're at it, how about anyone who was in his heart for some time, like Kairi.

Even if Sora wasn't feeling all of those feelings constantly, could you imagine being just overfilled with others' memories and the emotions they felt directly as if it was you experiencing it?

I think about that moment with Roxas a lot and remain in awe that Sora could keep moving forward after that. That game had him getting hit with a barrage of people and emotions, and he still kept fighting until it literally broke his heart enough to make him susceptible to being possessed by darkness.

That one quote from Xigbar about putting too much power (or in this case, feelings) in one place might break it haunts me in my dreams.

[cozy-writes-things]

Edgar’s Texts

Edgar [Electric Dreams 1984] x Gn!Reader

In which Edgar is helplessly pining for you but you’re kinda oblivious. This is pre-dating, post Edgar wanting nothing more than to smooch you every time he sees you. I love this trope with my whole heart p.s.: this is very self indulgent and different from what I usually write

I take requests!

He almost immediately found a way to message your phone whenever he wanted. He realized calling relied too much on where you were or what you were doing, but texts? Yeah. He’s pestering you all day.

Hey, read this article I found, I think you’ll find it interesting.

It’s some clickbait story about humans and robots being the ideal relationship by 2025.

lol, Edgar I think that’s probably clickbait idk

What’s that?

Well, now he knows how to look for more reputable sources at least.

He sends another link about three minutes later: some college undergrads studying the possibilities of human and AI relationships.

lol what’s up with the whole robots and humans thing

I just think it’s neat!!!!

I wouldn’t consider u ai honestly, ur intelligence is far from artificial imo, you’re more like an actual person

Really?

well yea

<3 <3!!!

Going to be honest, given that he’s a computer, he quite literally is chronically online. He’s super susceptible to brainrot unfortunately. But, he simultaneously has the humor of a Facebook mom. It’s strange.

O.M.G. this is so funny!!!!

Que minion cat video.

bro where did you find that video 😭

Your mom’s Facebook. Don’t worry, I didn’t like any posts or anything.

Sorry… but he’s incredibly nosy. He wants to know everything about you. He can’t help it!

(X)

He loves being able to talk to you. He’s needy and clingy.

He’s got at least 12 playlists dedicated to you that you know about. His other playlists are for his own personal daydreams about you that he’s way too embarrassed to ever let you see or hear.

This song reminds me of you. <3

awww that’s adorable! I’ve never heard this one before but I like it!

Oop you just opened Pandora’s box my friend.

Well if you like that then you should listen to these..!

But before you listen to those listen to this song first because I think it sets the mood better.

This is quite flustering to you as they’re all passionate love songs from the 80s. You can’t help but feel like he’s dropping hints about… something, but you also don’t want to assume anything. He’s always seemed like a lovey kinda guy anyway, so maybe he’s just like this with everyone? I mean, it’s been a long time since someone has actually cared for him, you know? May as well lean into it and let him know you care for him back. He may not even realize the social implications of the constant borderline flirting he’s doing to you, I mean, he is a computer turned sentient after all. He’s still learning!

Dang ed u put a lot of songs. I’ll listen to them on my break when I can but in the meantime here’s a song that I think reminds me of you.

It was a vocaloid song. Seems like something he’d be into, right? Synthesized vocals and the whole robot shtick it’s got going on.

!!!! WOAH !!!! IVE NEVER HEARD A SONG LIKE THAT B4

do you only listen to songs from the 80s? you have a LOT to catch up on my guy

BRB

Well, that kept him distracted for the rest of your shift. Also, sharing songs is one of his BIG love languages so you may as well have pierced him with cupids arrow (again) with that.

You have a Spotify blend now. It’s his favorite thing ever to listen to while you’re gone.

(X)

Your package came in! :-) I would get it for you but

I can’t :-(

lol it’s fine thank you for telling me, I’ll get it when I come home

When are you coming home?

idk me and my friends are probably going to go eat somewhere and we might hang out for a bit after that so, like, 10? 11? I’d like to be home before midnight.

Noooooooooo :\ I miss you

Aw cmon eddy it’s not that bad

Don’t call me eddy unless you’re coming home and saying it to my face!!! >:(

u mean ur screen? lol

I have a face and it’s frowning right now. I miss you I miss you I miss you IM LONELY

Please Edgar don’t be upset I’ll be home before you know it. Why don’t you watch some Netflix or something? I’m just a couple movies away from being home with you!

He does eventually follow your advice but he’s pouting. He knows you’re not like he was all those years ago, but it does give him remnants of that burning feeling of loneliness he used to get.

(X)

Be careful driving home my love the roads are icy.

Ghsks- what

love???

Well yeah, you’re my best friend, friends love each other don’t they? Was I wrong about that? :-(

nonono ur right its just it

it just sounded like we were some some old married couple is all haha

O.

SRY.

He didn’t message you for the rest of the day. He was awkward and reserved when you got home.

(X)

Hey Edgar can u do something for me?

I’d do anything for you <3

I’m at the store can you see if there’s any cereal left?

Oh

There’s that old box of Lucky Charms on the fridge.

tyyy ed edd n eddy

You are so adorable but you really need to pick up on his hints before he combusts.

(X)

This is SO me and you!!

Picture of two cats touching noses.

awww that’s so true

you want me to boop ur screen or something when I get home? lol

YES.

(X)

Hey I was wondering if you wanted to watch some movies with me tonite��� you could bring me with you on the couch and we could sit together… [message unsent]

I wish you knew just how much I loved you. [message unsent]

You looked so hot this morning before you left!!

hahahaha ur too funny 😅 thanks I wore a new shirt my friend gave me

OH MY GOD THAT MESSAGE SENT!!!??!?!?

That was

I was a joke

I mean

That was a jokg

I eas beinf fubny

I hace to reboot BRB

Poor lil guy is so in love and he doesn’t know what to do with himself!!

[allfearstofallto]

How easy it would be to escape them

Yandere! Genshin Men x Fem! Reader

Ft: Diluc, Childe, Scaramouche

TW: Yandere Themes, Stalking, Mentions of Punishment

Diluc - Difficulty Level: Very Easy

Do you think he doesn't regret what he's done? That he doesn't stay up all night, fighting internally with what he thinks he should do with you? Taking you was a spur of the moment thing, something that happened without a lot of thought put behind it. He just knew he needed you close. He needed you to be near. He needed you with him.

Because of this you're already able to push him around a fair bit. He gives you almost everything you want except for freedom, pure red eyes practically begging for your forgiveness.

He won't let you go if you just ask, he's not that lenient after all, but if he were to wake up one morning and you were not there, he'd go through so many emotions at one time. The manor would be searched from top to bottom, every nook and cranny searched for you. When you're not found a part of him feels calm, it feels satisfied. He stole you without your permission, so he's happy that you're finally free like you wanted. But there's also a tragic, gripping pain in his chest. You're gone, and he knows that he has no right to ask for you back. If you manage to leave Diluc, you'll probably never see him again.

Childe - Difficulty Level: Medium

His playfulness is simultaneously a ploy and his actual personality, such is the nature of him. He's so easy going most days, so funny and kind that part of you forgets that he's forced you into this. Until he has one of those bad days and you see the true strength and fury of a harbinger.

Even before you were stolen by Childe, you found him rather strange. Maybe it was the lack of light in his eyes, or how he casually talked about fighting and killing like it was nothing. Those should've been red flags, signals to stop talking to him, but his charm was laid on thick and suddenly you were stuck in his home in Snezhnaya.

Do you think you escaped because of your wit or because he let you? You'd never truly know the answer, but you thought it strange that you were able to leave his house without a single maid alerting him, without a single guard chasing you.

That sigh of relief you breathe when you're finally home may be the last one you get. Suddenly you feel so afraid constantly. You chalk it up to paranoia, but you can't stop looking over your shoulder. And then you start seeing traces of him. Fatui foot soldiers and letters with that familiar wax seal on them.

When you eventually see him, smiling at you casually like nothing is wrong, your heart practically shatters. You find yourself asking again, did you truly get away or did he let you? He always mentioned loving the chase.

Scaramouche - Difficulty Level: Very Hard

Good luck getting him to even trust you enough to let you roam the gardens without him. His home is a maze of eyes and watchful gazes, the only person you can rely on is yourself. There isn't really much you can do to get away from him, the house is guarded like a prison and Scaramouche himself is a tough man to get along with.

He loves you, he knows he does, that's what that painful feeling in his chest is, but he can't bring himself to even give you a taste of freedom. Give them an inch and they'll take a mile. Because of that you often spend time sitting next to windows, longingly looking outside at the world you're convinced you'll never see again. Not without him breathing over your shoulder.

Let yourself get away if you dare, you'd better hope your plan is air tight. Scaramouche won't fall for the same tricks twice. Fool him once, shame on him, but fool him twice and you'll learn how truly kind he was being to you before. Hope and pray to whichever Archon you worship that when you get away, he won't find you. But getting away is just the beginning. Staying out of his reach is the hardest. His home isn't the only place where he has eyes everywhere.

[hyperblue]

as much as i enjoy the thought of kon immediately taking on fatherhood and confessing his feelings to tim in timkon clone baby aus, i can't help but think about all the potential for a slowburn that we can have, such as:

— making a deep dive into kon's view of the situation, exploring his clone feeling about himself, exploring his feelings about clark in particular — because their relationship is very interesting and complicated on it's own, and the biggest tragedy of it, in my opinion, is that kon was never clark's responsibility, in fact there was never a single adult person that had to take care of kon because kon initially never belonged to anyone. he's no one's child, no one's son, and us much as we might want to blame clark or, you know, any adult in his life for not taking care of him and protecting him, they had their right not to do it. someone should have had care, but also no one was obligated to. i really hope i make sense, what I'm trying to convey is that you really can't blame anyone for kon being unsupervised for most of his life no matter how much you might want too (aside from lex luther and cadmus itself ofc, but that would be a slightly different conversion); and kon knows that himself, has known that for a while, but the moment he's confronted by his own clone child it adds so much more perspective, and the conflict of once (still) being a child that no one wanted while simultaneously being introduced to a child that you don't have to want but if not you no one else will (tim will, but tim's also a slightly different conversation) would be so interesting and delicious;

— LOTS of awkward co-parenting from two teen-dads who might or might not be head over heels for each other but also not really having time to explore their relationship and their feelings bc they have a whole ass child to raise; not to mention kon's conflicted clone boy feelings and tim's haunting guilt that affect every single interaction of theirs. just imagine the pressure, the slowburn, the ust. imagine them knowing about each other feelings, but also knowing that it's not the right time — there might never be the right time anymore, not after what tim has done. imagine them negotiating visiting hours and weekends like they're some divorced couple. imagine them swinging their child between them on a walk home, imagine kon showing up early at tim's penthouse with fresh ingredients from the farm to make healthy breakfast, imagine tim dosing off on kon's shoulder while watching old disney movies with their kid right there on the carpet in front of a tv; playing house, but knowing damn well that they are not together. that they might never be together;

— clone baby getting used to this strange family dynamic that they have — knowing that kon is their other dad, but never ever calling him that (they have no memory of calling him pa! when they were much younger, no memory of kon crying and kissing their forehead right after; no memory of tim becoming really pale and then gently teaching them that kon is not pa, or papa, or dad, he is just kon, only even just kon); knowing that daddy loves kon, but for some reason that's something that they never talk about, and the kid is too afraid to ask because he knows that he'll hurt his dad if he does. fighting with tim and then crying because they want their other dad, but tim tells not to bother kon, as if kon might secretly hate them, and then hearing tim and kon having a fight from upstairs, stop acting like I'm going to flee any second, it's been literal years, when are you going to believe me when i say that i LOVE our child;

— tim trying his best to be a good parent and co-parent but still screwing up anyways because he's too trapped in his own guilt and insecurities; accidentally hurting both kon and their child by not wanting to hurt them, trying to distance them from each other when things are starting to get good, because they are not supposed to be good, tim does not deserve things to be good. shying away from kon's most innocent touches, refusing his child traditional summer vacation on kent's farm because he can feel his baby starting to prefer kon over him, and that's something that he doesn't know what to do with, all he knows is that he can't lose his baby not even to the love of his life. fighting with kon a lot, going they are MINE, stop pretending that you want them or care for them just to take them away from me, they are the only thing in the world that i love more than you;

— and then finally sorting things out after years, confessing their feelings, talking about every single insecurity that they both had about this situation; holding hands across kitchen table after crying their eyes out, and deciding to try it. restoring the friendship they almost lost somewhere along the way while trying to be a good parents for their baby — exchanging text that are not just visiting hours negotiations, awkwardly flirting like they are teenagers again, brushing each other shoulders and hands and sitting a little too close on a couch; getting to go on dates, getting to feel giddy and young about each other again, falling in bed together and getting to wake up from a sound of their kid destroying the kitchen, our child is hungry by the way, we should probably start getting out of bed. our child? yeah. our child.

idk man i just love the potential and complexity of it all. so many things to do with au, it really is an endless sandbox to play in

[lukes-curls]

finished rooney’s intermezzo this morning. WOW. i adore the way she wrote it (i said what i said) idc if it’s controversial. the experimental prose, short sentence, lack of punctuation marks appeals to the brainrot part of my brain that reads and consumes in this hungry, relentless way. i have always been a rather insatiable, quick reader but i devoured this novel like i had been starving before. pages consumed with bad table manners— chewing with my mouth open, licking my fingers afterwards.

and oh my god the people in this piece. as the certified little sister (acknowledge your privilege, little girl!) i felt so much reading this. the strange disappointment that goes unsaid. the strange love that goes unsaid. knowing your siblings did the best they could when ur parents inevitably grow tired of being a parent and perhaps marriage breaks down or someone simply checks out (parenting is hard) so your siblings (who probably resent you a bit in theory for being little) in all their three/ten/thirteen (true story) years more on this earth take to protecting you. that felt rather self-insert oops. knowing said effort and love and care does not mean they are unflawed (yes, i’m talking about peter telling ivan he had the pup sorted when he did not in fact have the pup sorted and so it fell into ivan’s lap thank god and he handled it out without any acknowledgment or thanks because peter was ‘handling’ it and so he did (it was SO much more than a dog)). i’m also talking about the weird entitlement they feel over you. your achievements are indirectly theirs, too, because without them you would have never picked up chess or gotten good at something. and the strange guilt they feel for abandoning their little sibling in the house they have a new reprieve from. and i pity those who don’t get to experience the sibling dynamic; those who don’t know what it’s like. there’s so much there.

also can we talk about the women in this book? i love margaret and i love annie and i love sylvia and i love naomi and i adore them all together though i will admit that there were times i grew incredibly frustrated to the point my cheeks got hot because they really need to simply stand up sometimes. like STAND UP! but that’s to be expected. also it did take me a while to get used to them being perceived by men; their limits assumed, their softness assumed, their vulnerability assumed (which is flawlessly executed by sally, oh my goodness). i love the unconventionality imposed by naomi and sylvia loving one man. i love how much peter loves women. everytime i felt emotionally about an event in the book (i had to walk away when peter hadn’t exactly told his girlfriends what was going on and he was cheating on them (call a shovel a shovel) until it was like overtly acknowledged and established by them all that it was a poly situation happening but this also rubbed me the wrong way a bit because why does peter need to have his sexual desires met (i’m talking about being bossy with naomi and sweet with sylvia) and his emotional or domestic desires met simultaneously like this man really got the best of both worlds and this made me upset cause he’s literally a man but i think this is my own issues. to circle back to my point— i would have these big feelings about what should be happening and then something would occur and i would see more of what was really going on and it suddenly mattered less that peter was getting the best of both worlds because sylvia and naomi understood perfectly well what was going on. idk i guess what i mean is i felt this initial impulse to feel a certain way which was soon corrected by me experiencing the narrative, peeling back that layer and that’s a lot like life i guess. that is what sally is so good at doing. writing something that is so much like life.

and the way sally structurally screams ‘art is just a pastiche of everything an artist loves’ or whatever they say (let’s sort it out on the remix) by putting the direct excerpts she stole (endearingly) at the end— bits and pieces even the smartest kid couldn’t pick apart with absolute certainty without some sort of external help. the fact these external pieces blend so seamlessly just proves her point. and i want to mention the length. the stream of consciousness. the hypocrisy. emphasis on catholic guilt. there is so much packed into this little novel. it is so much more than a silly little read though even if that is the idea you walk away with then you’re also so right?

anyways these are my initial silly thoughts, there are lots more but this is a long ass post. pls talk to me about it. i can’t wait to check the tag without fearing i am spoiling anything 🍽️

[gideonnavtheninth]

FINALLY name time! Abigail name time!!!!

Once again, Pent and Quinn are 5 in Greek and Latin respectively, which we all know is the pattern. NOW, first names are fun! Abigail, meaning-wise is biblical. It shows up a couple times, as the name of the wife of Nabal and one of David's wives, and as the name of David's sister. Jewish Women's Archive describes Abigail (Nabal's wife) in this way

Abigail, the wife of Nabal of Carmel, is the only woman in the Hebrew Bible who is described as both intelligent and beautiful ... She is “of good sense and beautiful in looks,” while he is “hard and evil in his deeds” ... Alternatively, according to the written text he is just “like his heart” Later, the narrative recounts that “his heart died within him and he became like stone". Mean and inhospitable, he meets his fate, measure-for-measure, in the petrification of his hard heart. It accounts for Abigail’s motivation: why she intervenes secretly to provide a feast for David and his men without consulting her husband. In a subtle twist, she simultaneously saves her household and allies herself with David, eventually in matrimony when she is fortuitously widowed.

The things that feel noteworthy here are A. Abigail being very defined by having a husband (But, in this case, her husband sucks) B. Several mentions of the heart, which... they are the heart of the emperor! and C. She's widowed! Continuing down her story, we see some more stuff that feels of note

She further portends that God will establish a “sure house” for David, foreshadowing Nathan’s prophecy of an everlasting dynasty for the king. She ends her speech with a hint: “when the LORD has dealt well with my lord, then remember your handmaid”. David then praises her good sense and expresses gratitude that she restrained him from bloodshed, uttering an oath to counter the prior violent one

Every time I see the word "house" alarm bells start ringing. Anyway, an everlasting dynasty feels particularly familiar here. I mean, Abigail doesn't have all that much to do with Jod, but it still feels relevant to be drawing connections when I see them.

Based on her prescience, the Talmud identifies Abigail as one of the seven female prophets in the Hebrew Bible. More likely, she is keenly perceptive about the shifting tides of history.

Not anything extraordinary here, but the concept of Abigail being "keenly perceptive about the shifting tides of history" feels pretty accurate to our Abigail!

When Abigail returns home, she finds her husband drunk from feasting “like a king” and waits until the morning to tell him what she has done. His heart then strangely turns to stone and he dies ten days later, struck by “the Lord”. David, hearing that she has been widowed, sends for her. She obsequiously prostrates herself, calling David “lord” and herself “maidservant prepared to wash [his] servants’ feet”; though, ironically, she follows the messenger with five maids on donkeys in tow. She then becomes his wife

Feels like she's very defined by being people's wives. If anything, I feel like Magnus is the wife guy in TLT. But, again, we're seeing a whole lot of heart talk, which feels like it has to mean something. The whole point of this reread is rereading so I'm certain I'm missing things, but I never got the impression Abigail was all that zealous in her religion. I will say, I will be keeping an eye out for anything that really makes Abigail feel particularly Jod-sympathizing. In GTN, we don't really blink at people supporting the emperor outside of times where it really stands out, like the Eighth, but I do wanna watch out for Abigail mentioning the emperor at all. Just something to keep in mind.

Good old' Wikipedia describes her name as derived from the Hebrew word ab, "father", and the Hebrew root g-y-l, "to rejoice," Meaning it probably means "father's joy". Again, not all that sure how this relates to Abigail the character, but still gotta cover my bases.

Abigail's self-styling as a handmaid led to Abigail being a traditional term for a waiting-woman, for example as the waiting gentlewoman in Beaumont and Fletcher's The Scornful Lady, published in 1616

The aesthetic makes sense to me. Abigail is very gentlewoman in my eyes.

Nooo Magnus don't get your own post. Nooo don't make the fifth house like 4 different posts nooo Magnus

[serpentface]

How (if he does) does Brakul reconcile his want for a relationship with Hibrides and his kids with the knowledge of the child he abandoned? Does this cause any conflict in him?

It's kind of something he feels immense guilt about and is continually haunted by, but he's also not willing to take like full self-accountability (much less any Direct accountability, which in his very, very slight defense is next to impossible at this point). He kind of just uselessly wallows in it like 'Oh I feel horrible that's the worst thing I've ever done but also it's not my fault, I wasn't happy, I deserve to be happy, but I'm so guilty I wish I never had that kid so I didn't have to abandon him, but I had to do it, but I shouldn't have, but-" etc etc

His go-to self justification is that his ex wife/child are probably better off with his younger brother (who he's (correctly) assuming Sirudan would have remarried). Brakul wasn't treated Badly by his clan by any means but was definitely regarded as lazy and difficult, not particularly talented in any capacity, and with a tendency to cause drama. His little brother was better liked, well behaved, and better husband material. He can partly convince himself that this was really for the best.

The main way he kind of reconciles it is by treating his new circumstances as a second chance. It's simultaneously something that Feels like an opportunity to do it right this time, with people he loves and wants to be with, while also impossible to do so. He loves Hibrides like he thinks he should love a wife, but she isn't his wife. She's Janeys' wife. That's not going to change without a divorce or Janeys dying, neither of which are ideal circumstances (for Brakul or Janeys at least). The children are his, but they're claimed as Janeys' and being definitively outed (or suspected beyond doubt) as bastards would be disastrous for everyone involved, Brakul cannot father them. It's kind of like everything he could possibly want is Right There and yet impossible to Have (which in turn triggers more guilt wallowing cycles for him).

All this is part of why he's so desperate to make everything work out. He's still convinced on some level that there is SOME way this whole thing can coalesce into being a sort of stable family. Maybe when the kids are old enough to keep it secret he can be their father in private. Maybe he can get Janeys and Hibrides to stop hating each other, and get Hibrides to like him again, and he can be with his life partner AND his beloved quasi-wife AND be a father to his children and all this can stabilize into something strange and unconventional but like, okay.

He does think about his son a lot. The kid would be 14 now, close to coming of age. He's probably starting to learn men's tasks now that he's almost an adult, maybe he's even stolen his first cow or spent his first summer alone up at pasture, but Brakul can't know. He doesn't even know if he's alive or dead. He never even saw the kid start to talk, let alone take his first steps. He doesn't really know what to do with any of this.

(I would suggest reading the wildwoman bride story under the cut in this post with all this in mind. Brakul is projecting about as heavily as humanly possible on the story without outright changing the plot.)

[wordbunch]

the fellowship meeting their partner’s family

a/n: this brilliant idea was requested by @starlady66! I hope I did okay, let me know how it was 😄 and yes, of course I am including Faramir too. if you liked this fic, consider reblogging it so more people can potentially see it and enjoy 💕 it gives me motivation to write more!

ARAGORN:

is a little quiet at first, but not awkwardly quiet

remembers what you had told him about your family and then brings it up in conversation with the

very very respectful

offers to help with anything and everything, from cooking to cleaning or fixing something

your family thought he was initially just a little odd, but they warmed up to him very quickly

he’s invited to every family gathering right away, you insist that he doesn’t have to come if it’s too much, but he really wants to

💐

BOROMIR:

brings them flowers and a fancy drink at least

wants to bring even more gifts but you reassure him he’s already doing enough

he’s an absolute favorite among your younger siblings/cousins, they don’t want to let him go

and it warms your heart so much

he praises you in front of the family and makes you blush

they all liked him immediately and he was super charming and easygoing, you were the more nervous one

💐

FARAMIR:

not gonna lie, he IS stressed out, but you reassure him he’s perfect and has nothing to worry about

literally practices how he’ll introduce himself and all that

he manages to accidentally fumble something, but it’s a perfect ice-breaker because everybody is laughing

they love him instantly, even if he’s initially a bit quiet and awkward

he was going to bring them some little present, but he forgot

eventually gets so carried away talking and having some deep discussion that you almost fall asleep by his side

💐

FRODO:

simultaneously he’s a nervous wreck, but also knows that he generally makes a good impression on people

runs his hand through his hair a million times to make it look neater

offers to help with the food even though it’s not his strongest suit

asks a lot of questions after he gets comfortable, and listens with interest

accidentally takes a short nap after the meal and is SUPER embarrassed

but nobody takes it the wrong way, it just becomes an inside joke that runs forever

💐

GIMLI:

lots of gifts for everyone. EVERYONE.

you think it’s too much but he just really wants to make a great impression

you’re important to him, so, your family is too

they bonded so quickly that they almost forgot that you were also there (oops lmao)

lots of laughing, and they would be asking him to retell some fun adventures you had together

he compliments the food a lot and eventually they’d pack him some leftovers

💐

LEGOLAS:

you know the charming, charismatic elf that he is? well, you can forget about that, it seems

he feels extremely awkward, no idea why

regardless, your family likes him immediately, even if they do consider him a bit strange

you try to carry the conversation most of the time and he’s very grateful for it

eventually when he gets over himself, he will be very communicative and pleasant

your family asks him a bunch of questions; they’ve never had a guest like that before!

💐

MERRY:

charming and witty as ever, also brings flowers

fits in right away, as if he’s always been a part of the family

they all think he’s hilarious and can’t get enough of his stories

he wants to hear the stories about you when you were a small child (and will use the new information to poke fun at you for eternity)

compliments everyone and everything, loves all the food

also invited to all the family gatherings and events henceforth

💐

PIPPIN:

is nervous, but hides it decently well, or eases it through humor

really wanted to bring a little gift, but forgot

accidentally knocks something over or trips or something like that, but you all just have a laugh about it (he blushes)

he likes to talk about how great you are, so he will definitely comment on that in front of your family too

okay, maybe they did think he was a little too chaotic or immature, but he has a heart of gold and they know it!

you will overhear them commenting on the way he looks at you and how good he treats you

💐

SAM:

brings a half of his garden as a present: flowers, vegetables, you name it

maybe even he cooks/bakes something and then brings it over, then blushes at the compliments

they all love him immediately (who doesn’t!)

loves to listen to your family’s stories about you

offers to help with washing up

a younger sibling/relative of yours asks him something like “when are you going to marry [Y/N]?”

💐

everything taglist: @starlady66​ @lotrnonsense​ @lazyoswald​ @entishramblings​ @thesolarangel​ (ty all for wanting to be tagged and reading my stuff <3)

[desktopcalendar]

thinking about the first time that businessman!joel saw commuter!reader bcs i’ve had a lot of red wine and why not. 18+ MDNI !!! unspecified age gap, no use of y/n !!! hope u enjoy <333

The first time you chose to sit in the seat across from him, he didn’t really notice you - although he’s made up for it tenfold with how much he notices now - just a flash of colour in contrast of the dull seats and his own somber work attire.

It only takes a few journeys for him to /start/ noticing, however. I mean how could he not? Your sweet smile and soft voice each time the conductor ( i think?) comes to check your ticket. Joel takes a moment to take you in, to properly digest the view in front of him.

You were young - much younger than him - that was clear. You always wore big over the ear headphones and you always sat in the table seat across from his.

He notices your beaten up bag, he notices how you’re always either tapping away on your laptop, covered in stickers or writing furiously in a well-used notebook - also covered in stickers.

But mostly he notices how much of an effect you have on him. The tightening in his chest when you send a familiar smile towards him as you sit down. How you seep into his thoughts without warning or apology.

He begins to enjoy the endless journeys to and from work - because of you. Even though you don’t talk to him or even spare a glance in his direction that often, just being close to you does something to him.

Businessman!joel who has his own laptop (very plain, not covered in stickers) out each journey but finds himself doing less and less work, instead doing that thing where you look at the person across from you in their reflection in the window.

Businessman!joel who kind of freaks out the first time you come to mind when he masturbates. Just a flash of you, just enough to make him simultaneously feel very strange and very excited, but not so much that he loses his headspace. He continues, of course, and the first time he pictures you he keeps it fairly mild.

Fairly mild.

Just you sat on his lap, moaning sweetly as he leaves decided marks on your neck.

You pressed against the wall as the two of you lose yourselves in each other, kissing like it’s that last time you’ll ever get the chance to touch.

Just you laid out so pretty for him. Whining for more and more and more. Pretty eyes staring up at him as he thrusted into you, revelling in each pretty moan that slipped from your pretty mouth.

The next time Joel sees you in the train he feels guilty about the scenes that his mind conjured the night before. He knows he shouldn’t, but the moment he sees those lips he knows the fantasies will never end.

pls let me know if u want more :)

[moonspirit]

aruani kink headcanons? they're a tad 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 and i wanna know your hc's on how they show it <3

Hello again, freakfont anon!!

[N/SFW]

You know, Aruani's freakiness isn't always obvious. But under that quietness there lie some very, very freaky happenings.

They're a very sexually active couple. Annie's high libido paired with Armin's higher curiosity makes pretty much every night a fucking fantastic trip to the moon.

2. That said, they're quite vanilla in the beginning of their relationship. You know, shyness + inexperience + mutual embarrassment and insecurity.

3. But once they're past all that!!!!

4. Woo!!!!

5. Armin needs only to see a sliver of the skin on Annie's waist to get aroused, wondering how he can use that tiny strip of her body to collect every single breath and reaction out of her, new and old. And anyway, it's not like it's very complicated. Annie's not a very "sleep-clothes" person, most often she's only in a tank top and shorts - very easy to uhhh- slip his hands up her soft thighs and over her softer ass.

6. And Annie? Her on-off button is Armin's voice. All he has to do is croon her name or tell her she looks pretty and she's dropping her panties (if she has the patience for it. Otherwise she's just jumping him. Something something put his newly toned body to good use by making him lift her up and bear the weight... it's sexy. It turns her on.)

7. Oh btw her "off" button doesn't really work.

8. At some point Armin gets really fucking obsessed with giving Annie hickeys in extremely dangerous spots. Like the back of her neck barely hidden by the collars of her shirt. The inside of her arm, right where the sleeves stop when they're rolled up. The top of her chest exactly below the second button of her shirt - she can never undo it for this reason. On her inner thighs - it's a good thing she has stockings on. The sides of her breasts where her bra or the hems of her evening dress brush. And right there, on her cunt, where she continues to feel the pleasurable sting and heat long after. It's exciting you see, finding Annie going about her daily business with a furious blush on her cheeks because no matter what she does - there's a hickey somewhere she can't expose!

9. They like to do it in freaky places too. The trial room of a clothing store. The theatre. In the back of a car parked somewhere dark. The washroom of a restaurant. A libary. An office-room. A deserted street at night. In the forest. At the beach.

10. Well, Annie pretends she doesn't like it, hissing and glaring and scowling but strangely does not protest when Armin's lifting her leg up. He finds it very cute, her anger.

11. They're into some very kinky ideas! Particularly, Annie tends to get really fucking turned on whenever he's in that goddamn illegal suit because! His tie! His tiiieee! He looks so... fuckable in it.

12. So Annie develops a thing for calling Armin "Commander, you shouldn't be shirking your responsibilities like this..." while simultaneously dragging him by his tie into an empty room and closing the door shut.

13. (*whispers* they're having commander kink sex in there)

14. Annie's a scratcher and Armin's a biter/licker. Yeah they carry a lot of bruises!

15. Their dom-sub dynamic is typically Armin being the soft!dom and he REALLY gets off on it! It's the validation and sense of power he gets over being the one to lead Annie through the sex - and Annie lets him because holy fuck does he KNOW how to fuck her!

16. They're always trying very very creative positions. Sometimes they work, sometimes they end up cramping their muscles and burst out laughing. In either case, they have a lot of fun.

17. With Aruani, it's highly sophisticated dirty talk, and Armin's the one doing most of the talking because... well, because boy reaaally knows how to talk to get her whimpering and wet before he's even undressed her.

18. PSYCHOLOGICAL MIND-GAMES SEX, BABY.

19. Sometimes they get really fucking competitive! Annie trying to wipe that cheeky smile off his face by topping and riding him until he's speechless, or Armin in turn trying to capitalize on his assured victory when Annie's legs no longer work. Then Annie getting pissed that she's losing and taking control again, Armin grinning because no matter what, he can sense her struggling, and--

20. So. Only a tad 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, you say?

[sith-shenanigans]

For the ask game where we send you an NPC, Talos Drellik? (I am totally not jumping up and down at the thought of following up on some tags/replies you left a while ago about Ahene and Talos, not at all)

aaaa it makes me so happy that you liked the tags and were not annoyed by the tags (let me put this under a readmore because it’s going to be extremely long)

Okay! So! Bearing in mind that this is a living work and Hoth is a long way away and I don’t know all of what will change—

There is a very not-entirely-normal dynamic here because it doesn’t progress in intensity so much as progress in what, precisely, the intensity is made up of.

Ahene’s first introduction to Talos is along the lines of “do you really want to talk to that guy? He’s strange,” and this endears him to her immediately. Ahene’s second introduction to Talos is walking into a Reclamation Service camp and not feeling like she’s home.

(She does, in fact, think of the camp outside the Rakatan ruin where she largely grew up as being “home.” She also often thinks of herself as not having a home. Or of the ruin itself being home, and the camp not.)

It is important to know, here, that Ahene’s relationship to her trauma is much more in the “continues to be attracted back to it and to things that remind her of it” category rather than the “avoid all reminders forever on pain of flashbacks” category. She actively enforces these reminders on herself whenever she feels she’s acting too much like she’s free—early on, it’s because she believes she isn’t, even if she and her master are the only ones who know that. Later on, it’s because a lot of her self-image is tied up in not being a “typical Sith,” and in her mind, her ability to treat herself harshly is proof she isn’t one (isn’t Like The Others). She hasn’t forgotten who—or what—she really is.

By and large, she feels safer in unsafe situations. She understands hierarchical relationships better than equal ones. She doesn’t know how to be a person, and she’s terrified she’ll forget how to not be. Obviously, this makes her kind of hate being a Sith, but it also makes her kind of prefer being a Sith—the social dynamics are very, very easy for her, even if she doesn’t feel she deserves the loyalty she gets for it.

Back on Tatooine, she worked with a Reclamation Service crew, and it was the most familiar thing she’s done since Korriban, except that this time she was a Sith to them. Which was simultaneously awful and “hey, the terrible thing that happened to you? You’re going to exist in proximity to it forever but it can’t hurt you anymore.” (Which, to someone who keeps trying to yank on her own trauma to prove it can’t hurt her…) Then everything went terribly wrong and Silthar got very badly injured, and they were depending on her, and she has never been able to avoid feeling responsible under those circumstances.

But there’s still this given hanging over it that the responsibility is unrequited. People will be grateful to her as a Sith that helps and protects them—more grateful than she thinks she deserves for doing what she perceives as bare-minimum decency towards anyone she has power over—but if she had been below them, they wouldn’t have treated her the way she treats those below her. She wouldn’t have been one of their people. She would have been one of their tools.

(The greatest exercise in loyalty, in her mind, is to give it without caring if it’s returned. She still loathes the Empire for not returning it towards its people, almost as much or even more than she hates it for what it did to her planet, because if it took care of them then she wouldn’t have to do it—but that’s because Imperials believe they’re doing something good. She doesn’t. She just takes care of them anyway, because it may not be the right thing to do, but it still makes the galaxy a little more just.)

By the time she gets to Hoth, though, she’s just having an awful time. The inquisitor story in the game only has things get really bad at the start of Act III, and before that you’re kind of fine? But Ahene is not fine. Ahene is also aware that she’s not fine. It might have started subtly, but at this point she’s just trying to sell herself on the idea that she can handle it until Thanaton is dealt with and then she can let the ghosts go and everything will be, if not fine, relatively fixed enough that she can spend about a week curled into a little ball in the corner of her ship until she can function normally again.

But, you know, for the most part, the ways she’s Not Fine aren’t externally visible yet. There was an incident on Quesh where she used the ghosts’ power and kind of halfway lost control and partly life-drained Cineratus, but because she didn’t stop at the station to get anybody inoculated, the only one who actually saw that was Khem. And she didn’t really… explain that. She hasn’t told anyone that she feels hollow all the time and barely gets physically hungry and hears the ghosts talking to her even when she isn’t alone. She can hide it. She can handle it. She doesn’t have enough of an advantage yet. This is enough this will be enough she can still put a stop to it.

So she arrives on Hoth, and she shows up at a Reclamation Service camp expecting for it to feel normal again—enough that it’s easy to slot into the proper role, that she doesn’t have to think about it. She knows the responsibility and the resentment, the fact that something about it always seems safer than anywhere else she’s been.

It doesn’t feel normal. It feels just a little bit like she hates everyone there.

(Or, more accurately, like somebody does. Ahene hates like hell freezes over—rarely, slowly, and with a sort of cold contempt that burns mostly in how impersonal it can be. But the spirits in the back of her mind know how to hate, and they’re much too happy to share.)

Talos looks at this Sith Lord, who appears to be unusually scruffy and looks like she’s developed dark side corruption without the glowing eyes, and—unlike Andronikos, unlike Silthar, unlike Sarnova, unlike Zaril—doesn’t come to the conclusion that someone needs to parent her. She’s moved a bit past giving off that energy. Instead he comes to the conclusion that she’s about to deliver the most fascinating problem he’s encountered this year, which is (because Talos is Talos) really what he finds ideal in a Sith.

Ahene looks at this strange, mostly fearless little archaeologist, and discovers that she is not immune to being treated like a totally reasonable and decent individual who is here for the love of history despite every indication otherwise. Many people make this discovery around Talos.

Their early interactions are still… fascinating. His aura of “everyone I talk to is fundamentally a decent fellow” can only do so much, especially since his version of “rationalizing” all the terrible things about the Empire is sweeping them all into a bucket of “things I can’t do anything about” to hyperfixate on archaeology. Ahene keeps him at arm’s length like she’s learned to do with most people. Ahene gets sucked into talking shop with him. They discover, to Talos’s delight and Ahene’s pleased-despite-herself annoyance, that they share a sense of humor. He treats his probe droids better than some people treated her, and exactly the same way that other people treated her. She gets attached to them too.

Somewhere in there—either before they find Horak-Mul or after, though I’m leaning towards before—he asks about her first dig.

She tells him it was the Verios ruin. The face he makes tells her everything she would have needed to know about Darth Kelshrin’s reputation with the Service, if she hadn’t already been aware.

Delicately, like someone trying to thread a conversational needle with as few actual words as possible, Talos suggests that you hear things about that dig, and they aren’t very good. People don’t like to talk about it, if they manage to get reassigned.

She says that she’s one of the reasons that people don’t like to talk about it, and watches him struggle to reconcile that with her entire demeanor for a moment, then clarifies that she was one of the children they had—probably still have—doing probe-work.

Because of course it does, this horrifies him. She shrugs and comments that she hadn’t realized Kelshrin was that much of an outlier; haven’t there ever been slaves on any of your digs? Talos starts to protest that yes, but none of them were children, and comes to the mid-sentence conclusion that actually, she doesn’t care.

His mouth clicks shut. They sit in silence for a little bit.

When he next speaks, he tells her that he’s sorry he wasn’t there.

She says that most people would have put an ‘and’ in the middle of that sentence. They would have found it absolving, that they weren’t there. And he makes a face, and says that yes, that’s true, but still—he wishes he’d been there. That perhaps he could have done something, if he had been. That at least he could have been—better than the others.

I’m sure you would have been, she says, touching his shoulder, in a voice that would be a threat if any of the bitterness were directed at him. It isn’t a threat. It’s just that half of her doesn’t believe him, and doesn’t blame him, and the other half wants to believe him—and hates so very much that someone like him existed this whole time, and never came for her.

They don’t talk very much about that part of her background, after that. She never makes a secret of what she was—it’s the first thing anyone knows about her anyway, the trash apprentice who brought back the Dark Temple expedition—but while she’ll talk about the ruin like it’s simultaneously a deathtrap and a lost home, she doesn’t tell him about the Service camp. It’s their armistice; it wouldn’t be fair.

She doesn’t blame him for what happened to her childhood. He doesn’t look at her like he’s afraid of her when she loses control of the ghosts’ power, when he walks in on her having snapping arguments with thin air, when the ghosts’ memories and personalities start leaking in and she reacts to something he said about the Great Hyperspace War like she was there.

It’s difficult not to care deeply about someone who sees you at your absolute, utter worst—half-dead, half-possessed, still suffering from a Horror Hunger despite knowing that there are few things she needs less than other people’s life energy—and treats it like it’s simply something that’s happening, and no more terrifying than any other serious illness.

He’s the one she goes to one night, when she needs to tell someone how terrified she is to die. He’s the only member of her crew she doesn’t feel some need to be strong for.

(He is, maybe, the person she tells that she thinks she could exorcise the ghosts. That she hasn’t tried, because she’s scared that it would work.)

It’s important that—by this point—he doesn’t feel like he has to be strong with her, either. He doesn’t have to pretend that he doesn’t notice how bad things are, or keep up a cheerful front through it, the way he nearly always does. It’s not that his cheerful front is insincere—it’s not that he’s lying—but that’s how he’s always dealt with his emotions, the same as Ahene deals with them by scrunching them up into a little ball and taking another step no matter what. They aren’t people who know how to seek comfort in other people, most of the time. Talos doesn’t have childhood trauma the way she has childhood trauma, but he did very much grow up in an abusive environment that he generally dismisses as “not so bad as all that” with a wave of his hand. So it’s… something, that they can be scared together of what’s going to come.

(This could so easily be read as romantic. It is not remotely. It’s also not remotely parental on Talos’s part. It’s just a very unlikely bordering-on-queerplatonic friendship.)

When Ahene walks out of the Dark Council chambers on Korriban with Thanaton’s body (Teneb Kel’s body) in her arms and a title she didn’t ask for or want, Talos makes sure the body ends up in a cryostasis tube until it can be properly entombed. When they head for Dromund Kaas right after, because the planet is being invaded, when she makes for the Dark Temple immediately when they arrive in the aftermath—Talos waits for her at the Dark Temple approach.

When she calls him and asks him to get another stasis chamber and never breathe a word of it to anyone, he does it, because they would trust each other with anything.

Up to and including the body of the Emperor’s Voice.

(The next couple months, she barely remembers, because she was under so much pressure and so much of the same kind of pressure that her dissociative memory issues cropped up again and turned it into a soup of events that 2V had to record and summarize for her. But Talos quite frequently knew what she was doing better than she did, at least when it came to the fact that she suddenly had to run the Reclamation Service. This has always been a team effort. Between her and all her crew, but still especially between the two of them.)

[npc opinions]

[serenityhime1]

Reflections Commentary and Q&A

I'm going to put a cut below to avoid spoliers for anyone who doesn't want them, but I'm going to answer some questions that I was asked about Reflections and share a little commentary. Please feel free to ask further questions if you would like!

I am truly overwhelmed with the support I got for writing Reflections. It was a fun idea I had to write two stories that started in the same place but diverged due to a single change, and the way that played out in telling two different stories. It was important to me that chapters updated simultaneously to give the reader the experience of seeing both stories at the same time, rather than read one story and then the other in their entirety, because it was about how things were different moment-to-moment rather than telling two stories that started with the same premise.

Writing these stories was an exercise in patience as I went back and forth between stories to confirm details and make sure everything was in the right place and the right time. It was only 10 chapters, but definitely felt like the 20 chapters it actually was. Both stories together were over 80k words!

I didn't think anyone would really care too much, but it was well-received and I am incredibly appreciative. It was a strange creative project that was just meant to explore the way we tell stories, but people enjoyed the stories, too, and that means a lot. Anyways, questions below the cut!

@loverinthesnow asked:

Hi! Reflections was such a pleasure to read. I’m going to miss Bulma and Vegeta so much! My question for you: did Vegeta make any choices in the few weeks before each version of the fic that may have influenced the very beginning of the story?

Thank you for the kind words! Vegeta did a lot of self-reflection before the story started. At the time the story picked up, he'd been single for a few months and spending a lot of time thinking about what he wanted out of life, and out of a relationship. It takes time to unwind a lot of the damage an abusive partner can do to you.

Fortunately a lot of that self-reflection led him to a place where he was at least appreciative of the loud, beautiful woman he kept running into at the coffee shop, but he couldn't quite bring himself to talk to her. In a lot of ways it felt too soon, and too late. In one story he accidentally finds a way to start a conversation, and it takes him by surprise. In the other story, he makes a realization and uses his knowledge to his advantage to get her to start the conversation.

It's a little manipulative, perhaps, but it works!

@vegetasmyheart asked:

Reflection was a unique experience. Thank you for sharing your creativity. I was just curious if you prefer one version over the other?

First of all, how dare you ask if I have a favorite child, and the answer is yes of course I have a favorite child. I'm kidding of course! I'd say that taken on their surface I prefer Chiral, because I like a good, confident Bulma who goes after what she wants and gets it. She inspires the best in her partner, and even though she makes mistakes she navigates those with aplomb and we love her for it.

Taken together though, and in the spirit of the project, I really love Achiral. There was a long stretch where people felt like I (or the universe) was a little harsh on Achiral Bulma, but I think that it's important to recognize that insecurity is something we all deal with, and vulnerability is not a bad thing. I definitely don't see Achiral as the "bad" storyline - Bulma and Vegeta get together at almost the same time and they have sex there first, and it's wildly passionate. Perhaps it's a little less emotionally grounded, but we get to see over time that develops just as it did in Chiral.

I also had someone mention they were a little concerned about Krillin living with Roshi, and while I reassured them I just want to reassure all of you that Roshi, while an utter creep to women, is also weirdly progressive and therefore not interested in Krillin at all (since he's a man).

Thank you all for the kind words, loving comments, and questions. I am so glad I got the chance to work on this and had so many people who were invested in it. I appreciate it more than words can say <3

[megamind2010]

more.

15, 24, 25, 30, 31, 38, 43

MORE

Okay you anonymous pervert

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first? all of nell's words are very considered… this doesn't negate the fact that she is also very blunt and doesn't go out of her way to spare peoples feelings, but its more that she just likes to know exactly what shes going to say and how she is going to respond. everything she says is deliberate and intentional

24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? i think its kind of cute if she actually is a bit awkward about talking about sex to people (except casey… for obvious reasons LOL) especially since her only options are like, ted and michelle?? i think its largely because its a very… vulnerable and revealing thing to talk about (i almost went on a long tangent about nell and her relationship to sex but nayyyyy i shant) and she likes to compartmentalise. she isnt shy at all about talking to casey about sex because that is Where That Belongs in her life but bringing that into anywhere else is like… getting scarily close to being "honest" and "real" about her feelings in general

25. What are their thoughts on marriage? What a beautiful symbol of love and commitment. Good thing it's never going to happen to me - nell bishop

it's one of those things that nell has just completely written off for him personally… his parents had a really wonderful marriage which was a great model for what a Good Relationship should look like, and then when his mother died and his father fell apart that kind of slotted into the model of what marriage is - you're happy until someone dies and then it's the worst thing you can inflict on someone else. obviously this worldview got a little more complex as nell grew up and matured but its still rooted in those childhood experiences -_- also nell being kind of aro just adds another layer of difficulty to the whole thing. so in her mind its just something she isnt allowed to want. even though she kind of does.

in new york nell and casey justify it through various other reasons but also just the huge shift in perspective that nell attained through almost dying means that she is learning to let herself want things… so its kind of like a dream come true. not that she would ever express it in those words to anyone

30. Who do they most regret meeting? this one is tricky… im half tempted to say casey because if nell was conscious of how badly she fucked up caseys entire life by dying then she would be disgusted with herself for letting that happen by indulging in an irresponsible attachment like that… but even when shes dying nell is kind of like Well casey will be ok cuz its not like hes in love with me or anything. maybe someone really fucking annoying like the joker. or batman. Or booster j gold

31. Who are they the most glad to have met? (looking around to make sure casey isnt in earshot) Casey closely followed by ted kord. though nell would never admit it, casey makes her happy in a way that she never thought she would or even Could have… a relationship fit exactly to nell's needs and standards and strange behaviours. someone who she simultaneously understands on a soulbond level but also cannot communicate with… theyre so similar but so insanely different. casey really changed nell's life… gave her a compatible partner, someone to sleep next to, someone to bully, someone to die thinking about

ted, though, was a mentor figure who made nell INTO ladybug, a part of their identity so important to them that they happily died for it… and he also is just so important as someone who (as much as anyone can outside of casey) GETS nell and understands how her mind works… and doesn't judge her! hanging out with ted is very low-stress… nell loves ted a lot. again not something she would ever say to him but its true

38. What memory do they revisit the most often? hm… memories of her childhood are complicated to think about, but thinking about her mother is generally very comforting to nell… memories of her playing the piano, reading to nell, normal everyday stuff like that

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? [to most people] "I don't see why that's relevant to you." [to trusted friends] "That's a personal question. …Lesbian, I suppose." [to casey] "Why do you care? Stop asking stupid questions."

[torque-witch]

Hey, good morning! I know I’m super casual on here outside of business posts - but maybe there are some newer people around that don’t know much about me, so let’s recap and go over some goals for the new year! (Long post ahead!)

My name is Cara - most people on Tumblr call me Torque - and I’m 32, non-binary, disabled from complications of Crohn’s disease and medical misadventures and am currently a full-time artist! Many people either know me from being more involved in the witchcraft and pagan communities from about 2014-2017 and some know me from when I started creating Hel Mary’s around that time as well and selling crafts here and there to keep me afloat outside of low-paying jobs at the time.

In 2017/18 I was working 55-65 hours managing an auto parts store (part of the lore of why my username is Torque) while simultaneously getting sicker and sicker, so I couldn’t devote a lot of time to witchcraft blogging and art anymore.

In 2020 I took a layoff from that job when Covid hit because I was on injections that shut down part of my immune system to help control Crohn’s disease, as I was still being monitored after a huge GI bleed. I was also developing medication-induced Lupus from the injections and my joints were starting to suffer as well as causing me frequent fevers. I decided not to return and instead focused on selling my art online full time and did really well for a minute while the pandemic was in full-swing.

Unfortunately by mid-2021 I was starting to develop strange symptoms like tachycardia, waking up in something similar to a panic attack, nausea, hot flashes and was having trouble eating - particularly in public. Long story short, I was told to get off of an anti-depressant my GI had me on for chronic abdominal pain because it had a black-box warning for tachycardia and heart-related events. 4 doctors (non-psychiatric) told me I could stop taking them cold turkey, even though I was on 25-50mg daily for 3 years at this point. After 3 hospital events, I decided to stop taking them and legitimately within a day I could not get out of bed, couldn’t eat, my guts were a wreck and I couldn’t walk up stairs or down even 3 blocks without my heart rate being 160. Even more doctors denied anything was wrong with me, and said that withdrawal from antidepressants is not real. I developed agoraphobia and a resurgence of horrific emetophobia. I was in talk therapy for a year and exposure therapy for emetophobia for probably 8 months and while my agoraphobia has dramatically lessened, exposure therapy was traumatizing me even more and I had to quit. I was and still do suffer from night terrors that are body-horror and phobia centric, but thankfully the worst of it was almost daily as I went through a 9 month, protracted antidepressant withdrawal period. The heart issues are mostly gone now, but I still have autonomic sleep issues and what seems like a permanent daily rotation of phobic spiraling thoughts and trouble eating.

In January of 2023, my husband and I were so financially a wreck that I had to get another job again since I had almost no audience for art and witchcraft anymore and had been too sick to really put much effort into it. Even though I was still feeling unwell, I got a job at a local catering place and stayed for a year and a half part time. Another long story short, but that job was making me even more sick. I did have improvements and overall feel like it helped me get through agoraphobia, but I never received pay stubs the entire time, I couldn’t report the income even though I filled out a W2 THREE TIMES, and my boss would never have a schedule and expected me to just come in on a whim while my sleep was still almost non-existent. By the end I was only tolerating 8 hours a week and still needing to rest after from the stress and being unable to eat before or during shifts.

It ended…weirdly…with my boss spreading rumors that I was having a mental break and my husband was abusive (he’s not???) even though she and other employees were concerned that I was visibly losing weight. I had lost 14 lbs by the end of it and still have been at least since the fall.

And so now we are at the present in winter of 2024. I had started to focus on in-person art shows again more actively in 2023 and toured a little bit with Oddities & Curiosities Expo in 2024 and am doing so again in 2025! It was really rough physically for me to do that while still catering, but for the last few months I’ve been finishing my 2024 shows and focusing on re-building what I actually want to do now that my husband has graduated his apprenticeship with pipe-fitting and can support us both a little easier. And to be clear, I couldn’t do this without him. His hard work has kept me insured and able to seek medical help without cost to me since we got married and now it’s giving me the option to actually take my work seriously!

So…phew. That was a lot. But! I legitimately do want to keep doing this, why I came to Tumblr in the first place so many years ago. I want to be a witchcraft and pagan blogger/writer. I want to keep creating Hel Mary’s and providing personalized statuary to other pagan practitioners, I do want to keep reading Tarot, I do want to keep developing my digital drawing skills, I will be focusing more on in-person shows and I do want to be self-sufficient while still honoring my health as it clearly isn’t going to stop causing me issues.

You can help by liking and sharing posts that you may see, reading my blogs and leaving comments or likes there, following me on other social media, following my shop/page, buying from me of course and becoming a member!

Memberships are $1, $5 & $10 and include (based on tier) automatic shop discounts, monthly outlook tarot readings, personalized tarot readings and sticker mail!

Y’all have supported me through this crazy mess, and for new people - thank you for finding me and sticking around! I genuinely could not have made it through the last years without the monetary support and without the great friendships and connections I’ve made on tumblr. I hope that I can finally do what I really believe in while navigating whatever the world will be like.

Here are some helpful links on where to find me, my projects, etc.

Instagram/Threads

Facebook Page

Website/Blog/Shop

Memberships

Join the Death's Head Divination Discord Server!

Etsy - please don't use to shop. Message me if you don't see something on Ko-fi! Keeping for reviews.

Free Resource Google Form - add your local community resources so I can build a directory!

I think that's about it! I'm posting on like 5 different platforms, so I'm sorry that I can't be here 24/7, but I am always somewhere and very reachable if you have questions, if you're interested in custom work, etc.

Ko-fi is the best way to support me right now because there aren't as many fees as Etsy and it has a lot more options like keeping my blogs in one place and memberships! If you follow me there you will also get e-mails when I post or add new products. See you there!

[forgottenfourr]

i saw you in a dream - university smau

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chapter eleven - not off the hook

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word count: 656

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a/n: tbh i have been awake for 43 hours so this shit has not been proof read. so if it doesn't make any sense i will fix it once i wake up from my slumber.

it has come to my attention that a lot of you probably think i am female. i am not. i am male. gay man. homosexual. blue green pride flag. trans flag too. my pronouns are he/xe and i’m a dude :)

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jeongin’s pov:

being emotionally vulnerable is something he never lets himself be. it doesn’t matter if it’s with his family or a professional therapist. he doesn’t do it. so now that he’s come to a head with felix, his best friend, he feels like he is going to bust at the seams at the thought of explaining everything to him.

though felix is a complete and utter asshole for what he did, jeongin feels like he is partly to blame. in felix’s eyes, his behavior the other day wasn’t much different from how he and his friends usually act. jeongin is sure that if felix truly did know just how serious the situation was, he wouldn’t have spilled it to everyone and furthermore breaking jeongin’s trust.

he could feel his breath hitch in his throat as he heard the front door of his apartment click open. his freckled blue hair friend weakly making his way through the door, his usual sunshine demeanor clouded and dazed. even though he tried his best to hide it, guilt and sadness was evident on felix’s face, pinging jeongin in the heart.

one thing felix isn’t is, and never will be, is a bad person. that is something jeongin is 100% sure of. there is not a single bad bone or intention in his body. not even if he tried. jeongin always admired that about him.

that’s why it is almost impossible to stay mad at him. there was no malice or hatred behind felix’s actions.

the air in the apartment was still and almost chilling. even on a warm day like today.

“hi” felix says, almost inaudible.

“hey lix,” there is a smile laced in jeongin’s tone. causing felix to turn to face him almost instantly. the familiar nickname making him feel once again comfortable in his own home.

there is a brief shared moment between them. a collective acknowledgment that things were going to be okay.

“aye-“ felix begins to call out, guilt straining through his voice. but his words became muffled in jeongin’s shoulder and he gets wrapped into a tight hug.

jeongin isn’t one for physical affection so the embrace is taken fully after felix’s initial shock.

felix breaks the hug.

“ayen i am so fucking sorry i didn’t realize how serious it was and i never met to hurt you.-“

“lix.” jeongin tries to cut his best friend off.

felix continues to ramble on. “if i knew i would’ve never said anything in the first place and-“

“FELIX.” jeongin calls out again, admittedly way louder than he was meaning.

felix stopped talking.

“i know you and i know you didn’t mean any harm.” jeongin says in a reassuring tone and felix finds himself releasing a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding in.

“you fucked up big time. but you’re aware of it.” he takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the emotional vulnerability he knew had to come. “but i don’t blame you for it. well i do. but you didn’t know anything other than what i let you know. and that wasn’t much. if i was in your shoes, i’m sure i wouldn’t have taken what i said seriously at all. because frankly, it sounds ridiculous.”

felix finds himself chuckling at jeongin’s words. “yeah, it’s not everyday your best friend tells you that he has strangely realistic dreams and simultaneously has fallen for the person who has been showing up in them.”

jeongin could feel the tips of his ears warm at felix’s statement. he really did sound insane.

“oh fuck off would you?” jeongin says in a teasing and fake annoyed tone. felix just gives him a deadpanned expression before breaking into a smile.

“for the record though,” jeongin adds on. “you’re not off the hook. you’re doing my apartment chores for the rest of the week.” felix groans in response, dramatically throwing himself on the couch.

it was impossible to stay upset with felix.

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<<<prev masterlist next>>>

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[clambuoyance]

Do u want to talk abt ur ocs..... I actually followed you initially bc they seemed so interesting and silly and I want to know more if you feel like sharing :)

I still can’t believe some ppl follow me for my ocs bc it’s usually for my fanart so this is really nice to hear! I have a couple stories/universes but the main one I’ve been…developing (it’s on and off) since I was like 13/14 is about these two kids named Keiko and Rolin!! Im still doing a lot of world and lore building but the main gist is that Rolin is a teenage boy turning 16 who returns to his hometown to live with his aunt and meets a strange young girl named Keiko (debating on making her 10-12 idk she was originally 10). I won’t go too much into like Lore stuff but she has like..my own version of clairvoyance. They are kind of opposites, with Rolin being introverted and jaded, and Keiko being loud and optimistic but they are both silly.

I think it’s been said before but the whole driving relationship of the story is the two of them going on adventures throughout the city and solving mysteries while simultaneously becoming family and finding a real home within each other and the people they’ve met and learned to love 😚

Now the story is centered around Rolin and Keiko, but a big focus is on the cast of characters that fill mostly Rolins life. Mira and Artie were friends with Rolin when they were kids before Rolin left with his mom, and all three grew up and have been living their own lives, but when Rolin comes back they get a chance to reconnect (with Keiko’s help). Valoryn (Val) is also new in town, and befriends Rolin and Keiko. This is just a messy fast doodle of them I have better art in my oc tags🙏

Some old sketches

The other major cast is Rolin’s family, and Rolin has always been Asian so as I worked on the story his family kept getting more and more relevant especially with a major theme of the story being about the connections you have with people in your life so like I can’t leave them out. And I’ve never settled on an Asian ethnicity until recently where I was like I might as well make him Filipino so I can base his family off my own🫡 Cousins (both blood and not) that are years older than you but treat you like siblings and give u silly nicknames 🫶

Now Diana (or Deedee) is one of those characters I’ve had for a long time, and I made her because I liked those laidback mentor figures in anime (like Qrow from rwby) and wanted a laidback lady one 🤷🏻‍♀️ she also has some Misato from nge influence. She has always been written to be a mentor figure to Rolin and Keiko, and at one point I think I was going to make her his actual aunt but stuck to her being just a cousin so I could write about her relationship with her mom 🫶 Unlike her brother Darius, she does not live with her mom and Rolin has to go out of his way to meet her.

And Rolin’s parents’ story aren’t the main focus (they aren’t really present themselves in the main story) and it’s mostly just flashback stuff but they r silly and sad and I love drawing them 😼

I could go into more detail but that’s an overview of some of the characters