#it's really not ideal conditions
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Who is more stressed at the vet, me or my cat?
#misc#the yearly appointment stress tf out of me#because they put him to sleep under gas cause they aren't competent enough to handle him#so I can't be in the operation room with him#so im stressing#all of this for a check up and a vaccine#add to that the fact that we come with public transportation#and there is workroad#so I'm going to have to carry the 7kg beast for km#under the rain#it's really not ideal conditions
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On the former dead bird site, people were talking about the terrible conditions and pay for animators and an animator for RW.BY mentioned they felt like if you weren't doing a fight scene it felt like a punishment because everything else was overlooked by fans (on top of shitty pay). It blew my mind a bit because, by in large, what has always stood out to me have been moments of "standing and talking."
Blake and Yang in burning the candle
Any time Weiss has said "what's that suppose to mean", attempted to tell a joke, or made a sarcastic comment.
Blake's ears, Yang's shakey hand, Nora's entire existence (and her conversation with Ren about wanting to figure herself out is one of my all time faves), Maria's eyes malfunctioning, hell animating small moments was Neo's way of communicating with the audience.
Barb said for years the conversation with Raven in the vault was one of her favorite things to do, and it shows in part because the animation helped their performance!
And V9 was a joy to see how much the animation has improved, and all the smaller things to make Everafter feel alive!
It is the standing around and talking as well as all the little fun things to make them all more real that stands out to me, and since that's most of what I gif I think it does for a lot of people as well! I wish I could say our hell site is better, but I wish those animators got to see more love of their work in the more mundane scenes.
#ccyy talks#ideally there would be bettwr conditions and good pay which would make it suck less#but companies really do love screwing animators over
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Did you manage to extinguish the flames in your head, or did you just replace the fire with something different?
#kamen rider#kamen rider blade#kenzaki kazuma#fan art#kamen rider blade spoilers#i lied last time... more kenny suffering lmao#simpler style this time. drew this under less than ideal conditions lol.#but i really wanted to get the concept out#someone tell me if ipad procreate has something like a lasso fill... i miss her...
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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i do keep things lighthearted while talking about them but it actually is really frustrating how so many of batmans villains have explicit, real world disorders and illnesses that no matter how well their symptoms are portrayed or how sympathetic theyre shown, theyre still villains who go to a fucking asylum when theyre caught. its not realistic to say dc should retire them all as characters and they definitely shouldnt just be rewritten as neurotypical but it does make it feel like so much rogue centered content (canon and fanmade) is covered in this inescapable ableist shroud
#og post#again i dont really have a solution to this i just hope they get written with a modicum of three dimensionality#instead of as irredeemable serial killers#i guess the ideal longterm idea is that eventually new inarguably good hero characters get introduced with the same conditions#so it becomes less “bad people have bad disorders” and more just general rep on both sides of the moral line
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got to see the @narcissistcookbook in dallas, thoroughly enjoyed it
#i draw#the narcissist cookbook#really fun show Overall!!#like the ideal narcissist cookbook setlist. a bunch of my favs. so cool#i really wanted to figure out how to get a lyric quote to look alright with this composition and i COULDNT do it#it woulve been 'as the heavens beneath us convulse and contract to be near us' if i couldve made it work. fav lyric#side note on the piece: i didnt MEAN to make it the pansexual flag. i do this a lot. pink yellow and blue just look so good together whoops#i am not pan just a real big fan of their flag Apparently#inspired by 2 album covers! eden disorder and conditional love#i wouldve made a physical piece or doodle to give @ the merch table but i only knew i was GOING to the show about 24 hours before it#i was the guy who got to come because my friend broke up with his gf lol. got slid into the schedule very last minute#this is the first concert ive actually gotten to say hi to the band(s) at! really glad i got to come! not glad about WHY but yknow#silver linings
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tomgreg is about the fantasy of being able to find someone who genuinely likes that you're mean and in fact thrives very well being needed in the particular kind of fucked up way that you need someone which makes it so you don't actually have to work that much to strip away your superiority complex in order to be loved for who you are
#mine#tomgreg#like wait i can kind of very openly see you as an extension of myself and you LIKE it? jackpot#(slash pos obviously there's a lot of nuance here and tom is very selfless underneath it all)#anyway genuinely tho i do feel like a bit of their thesis is very purposefully lacking the notion of self-improvement#like tom def does work to change the parts of himself that harm greg - WHEN he learns that they do#but there's a certain like. ok maybe it's just me and my personal revelations#in any case those revelations are that it's NOT necessarily the goal for every person and every relationship to be any particular#idea of 'healthy'#like yeah sure MAYBE if greg went to therapy and if he really WANTED to he could become someone who didn't tolerate#the way that tom as a closeted man is only able to express affection#but like... if he CAN tolerate it... if he's pathologically WIRED. even. to tolerate it#then is it really harmful?#if it's love and if both parties are willing and passionate is it REALLY bad? does it REALLY need to change?#maybe the diversity of the human condition simply includes#that what's horrible for one man is ideal for another#and that includes the people you love. idk
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visiting another greenhouse this weekend has forced me to be like. it doesn't have to be like this man. it doesn't have to be this level of out of control all the time. they have neat little signs everywhere. don't grow more than can fit in their houses. the grower has a map for growing locations. a lot is grown on the floor but the aisles are leveled with twine pre-season. shade annuals and sun annuals are kept together. every tray is pre-spaced. I didn't see any major pest issues (besides the coleus downy mildew issue) everything is labeled. they have lists of all plants they grow on their website linked to their social media. the aisleways are clean and navigable. they've had the same grower since 2013. I'm sure they've got their own issues but it makes me sit here and go. oof.
#my workplace is#insane in every way#the only way it could really change would be through the most insane overhaul of everything we do#and it's difficult to really quantify how many sales we lose because everything is confusing and disorganized#or how many plants we lose from overcrowding or less than ideal growing conditions#anyway it's none of my business it just makes me feel bad
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as I prepare to bake gingerbread cookies on a day with 82% humidity, temperature currently 22C/71F, I reflect on how monumentally dopey it was to import European Christmas festivities to the Southern Hemisphere
I mean, you’ve got the profound cultural and societal harm caused by Christian evangelism to indigenous cultures
and then you’ve got me sweating over gingerbread in shorts and a teeshirt
nobody wins
(as a family life aside, currently upstairs I can hear my sister asking Green Niece if she is currently Asrael or Mistletoe, the two imaginary cats she sometimes is)
#asrael is obviously a smurfs reference#i don't know where she got mistletoe but it's a cute name for a cat#also they'll be really good cookies I've made this recipe before#we'll decorate them with royal icing and red and green m&ms#I genuinely love doing this I just don't appreciate the sweaty weather at the same time#it should be SWEATER WEATHER not sweaty weather#I have had I think two northern hemisphere christmases in my life?#neither in ideal conditions but gosh I was so excited
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i'm so in love with wrio. that man is the embodiment of mercy and compassion. he is so... human. despite the deep disdain for atrocious acts that hurt others, especially acts that remind him of his own pain and traumas, he is able to keep himself in check and hold on to his values. despite being so proactive in fixing the wrongdoings of people that actively harm those under his care and assuring that everyone is supported in the best way possible; despite knowing he could have not controlled other people's hearts once they were in too deep in their own sins, he still feels helpless and incompetent. he recognises he cannot fully empathise with those who have been hurt for he has not experienced what they have and he understands that some wounds might not be able to heal even with all the attention and efforts, or at least not that easily. and it pains him. his whole life he's been trying to protect others. all his hard work during his time at the fortress and taking over it's administration has granted him the power and resources to actually change lives in a more restorative way, with a bigger amplitude than just the people who he's close to. yet he's only human. and not everyone wishes to be saved. and he doesn't hold back from breaking his own rules if means he is guaranteeing the best outcome for the greater good, for the well being of all of those he's sworn to protect. and although he earned himself a respectable title and even got used to being referred to in that way, he doesn't see people at the fortress as innmates but as equals. he never stopped being the little boy that was sentenced to live over a decade of his life there. and he is so good at what he does and he is so successful at restoring people's hopes in life, at giving them a second chance to become who they want to be, that there's people who actually want to stay there. he is the literal personification of turning your own pain into goodness, into love. love for community and love for others. he found meaning in making the world a better place and i just think that's really fucking beautiful.
#cerberus preventing the dead from leaving the underworld vs wrio whose compassion makes people not want to leave the fortress#god he makes me go feral#sorry for wrioposting everyday shjshdh he never leaves my mind#i saw someone point out the 3 heads possibly meaning past present and future and how we get to see a bit of all of those aspects through#his quest and i think that's really cool#also how the main themes surrounding his character are redemption and retribution#dwelling into these topics is just fun and i think they did it really well and again i think wrio is incredibly well written#i just think it's cool to see a character in a position with power to punish others be someone who was also judged by that same system#i think it's cool that rather than blindly following authority he used his power to change and reform the system#he created this utopia of the perfect living conditions and managed to sustain them#it makes you feel a certain type of way when you strive or wish for this type of equity and justice in the real world too#obviously it's only a slice of the cake but it's a relevant slice of the cake#not to enter a socialism and politics conversation but wriothesley and his quest share a very radical ideal and i think it's relevant#to acknowledge it#something something stories about revolution#i'm a bit sleepy tired it's so late but well i had to write something bye#genshin thoughts#genshin impact#my post
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womp womp
#tbt.#// sorry to log on n rant n dip but life is rlly bad again bc i quit my job bc management was shity to me already#// like they were putting me on solos that I'd had no training for#// and looking after people in similar conditions but not the same as my dad was really hard#// I deffo rushed it and took it for the money but it just wasn't for me man it broke my everyday n I'd go to work crying and come home cry#// it's too soon after my dad died for me to have been doing all that but I didn't realise til now lol#// I have this thing where I push myself literally to my breaking point and that was this morning lmao I was legit suicidal over a wage#n now im suicidal over no wage but its better than feeling that way n I just need to move back in with my mum which isn't ideal#but I can't afford to live anymore
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you people will sooner go to your deaths preemptively apologizing for how your death is going to cause emotional pain to a man than you would acknowledge that you have the right to remain alive.
#or the fan favorite#'preemptively apologizing to a man is actually the hidden ideal state of a woman#and her conditioned defenses must be brought down for her to realize where she really belongs'#what existential horror must i grasp your blood-soaked arm with to pull you from this well
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Still love that Cloud Retainer’s name, Xianyun (閒雲), is a reference to the expression “xiányún-yěhè”(閒雲野鶴)
#cloud retainer#genshin xianyun#kittybee talks game linguistics#like she IS like that#that she can divert her attentions to taking care of her disciples and tinkering with her inventions#it’s an idea or stereotype that comes from the idea that cranes are like… majestic creatures that thrive I guess you could say in#ideal conditions right? like they need to have no predators (I’m talking like the Big Ones) and to fly that high in the clouds there can be#no adverse weather involved#like red crowned crane big#so that’s where the idea of a high and carefree lifestyle as implied by the expression comes from#when you use that expression to describe someone it’s really kinda equivalent to saying they be living their best life#no worries on the mind as opposed to like… coldly aloof - it’s the former not the latter
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tbh in my kirbyverse i might just nix hyness having genuinely been a great parental figure or family member to the mage sisters entirely and lean more into “the sisters thought he was their friend but really he just made them dependent and devoted to him” like the way actual cults lure their members in. like a twisted form of love that goes against the jamba hearts entirely.
and its not just for that parallel between hyness’s controlled environment and kirby’s community of friends and former enemies he’s helped along the way, but also because it’d differentiate them from taranza/sectonia and haltmann/susie a bit more bc it wouldnt quite be another “i’m mourning my loved one who got corrupted and want them back” story, but “the person we loved never truly existed and we’ve been fighting for a man who never loved us and only viewed us as a means to an end”
#and this isnt to say that like ''oh hyness is born evil he has no tragic background or progression to who he became'' or anything#i think that at one point in his life hyness did care about his followers and was a charming person who helped others#but like. hes a cult leader. that twisted into him being manipulative and cruel to his followers once they were too deep in to get out#especially the sisters who i imagine were far too deep in#and it takes hyness dying or something for them to really start to heal and process their trauma#even magolor who in my verse was raised by and grew to despise hyness. really only managed to get out bc he was literally exiled#and i imagine that loneliness got to him especially when he spent years on halcandra alone#with less than ideal living conditions#idk. to me hyness is a character that lives on spite first and care second#so on some level he probably DOES care about the sisters. but he's abusive and controlling to them. hes not safe for them#his devotion to void and hatred for the ancients will always come first.#his anger at being cast out eventually formed into him desiring a sense of control over every single aspect of his life#i feel like. god if i lean into this im gonna get comments like ''ermmm why do you hate hyness why do you hate complex characters''#and like. well yeah i do hate him actually if only bc i hate how hes handled in canon. but like im sorry i hate his ending lol#echoed voice
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i just saw a video someone had posted of the bins of books to be discarded for a florida school library talking about how horrible this was and why florida is so fucked up. obviously the book bans are fucked up, but that’s a dishonest way of talking about it. libraries and specifically school libraries are finite spaces. there is only so many books they can hold. this means that yes, the books will be weeded, regularly, mainly for condition or for out of date information in non-fiction (and a lot of schools are now cutting out most of non-fiction since research is being done online) and it is the law that public schools cannot sell or donate the books they cut from their collection. they’re allowed to offer them to their own students/faculty to take for free, but past that they legally have to throw them away.
the stigma around getting rid of books is rooted in really really good intentions because it’s good that we care about preserving books and information and it’s good that our knee jerk response to a pile of books in a dumpster is horror. but it also prevents schools from allowing their librarians to properly go through their catalog and update their collection, because they want to avoid the blowback of getting rid of books. if you want new books, or books with diverse leads, or books with scientifically up to date information in your schools, that means throwing things out. the florida book bans are horrible but the idea of "they’re trying to throw out books, if we stop them, no one will throw out books" is misinformed and unfair. how do you think the "controversial" books got into those libraries in the first place? by throwing other things out. if the bans fail, throwing out books won’t stop, and shouldn’t stop, and in fact will probably increase so that they’ll be able to get the funding to refill their collections with the types of books we’re fighting to allow in schools.
#if you want to criticise the law that doesn’t let public schools donate books then do that but it’s a separate issue#and if it’s mostly for physical condition and misinformation it’s not really ideal to fill up donation centers with it
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#the despair continues#all of the options available to me make me feel catatonic w depression and demotivation#i want to seek my rights within the uni department but i dont want to rock the boat too much#but like. i have to resort to begging and asking this that might seem ungrateful bc im unable to cope#be a mental health training department. create the perfect conditions for disadvantaged students to become more mentally ill#thanks guys! really in touch w the current state of the economy and your students' needs!! and w their mental wellbeing! good job#:))#meant to be finishing my diss and last couple of weeks in the uni house but im too sad to do anything properly#my parents are reassuring me that everythings fine and they will help me#im rly thankful to them ofc#but the fact that i will have to rely to heavily on their support when im gonna be WORKING FULL TIME#and the most ideal option for my mental health will be the most expensive option for myself and everyone in the family#so theres no winning. im fucked over either way#i cant even take this to a therapist bc the only thing that would help is financial assistance#i hope that the bursary ppl response and are sympathetic to my situation#og post#personal
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