#it's really exciting to finally have that unblocked

[isitovernow-ootw]

wip of a gif I'm working on! all the actual animated parts are really rough but i really like how it's coming along

(its with christian lee hutson lyrics if anybody recognizes it)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Sick II

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You get sick again

Magda wakes up slowly.

She's not sure why she's waking up. Her alarm isn't going off. She doesn't need the toilet. The sun's still down so there's not any light coming through the curtains to either.

But, somehow, Magda's being ripped from her relaxing sleep.

She blinks awake blearily, already cursing in her head because there's an away match today and she really doesn't need to be awake earlier than she needs to.

There's a firm shove to her shoulder and Magda finally opens her eyes fully.

"Princesse?" Magda asks, rubbing her eyes," What's wrong? It's early."

"Sniffles, Morsa," You say. Your voice is all nasally and your face is bright red and practically dripping in sweat. You sniff as if to accentuate your point and wipe your snot away using Magda's pyjama top.

"You've got the sniffles?" Magda asks, still trying to wake up.

You nod miserably and Magda digs around in her bedside table for tissues to blow your nose out in.

She flicks the bedside lamp on to study you properly. It's probably a bit more than just the sniffles but Magda doesn't really want to tell you that.

It's awful timing really. You've got to get on a coach to Birmingham in a few hours and there's no way Magda can arrange childcare on such short notice or bow out of today's match either.

"Alright, Princesse," Magda says," Let's go into the bathroom and sort out your nose."

Magda turns the shower on and shuts the door, hopping that the steam will unblock your nose enough that it won't bother you on the trip up north.

Pernille wakes up soon after, helping to get you dressed and fed and drugs you up with kid's medicine to make the drive more bearable.

"Jessie!" You slur, nose still stuffed and head beginning to pound. It doesn't diminish your excitement though as you make Jessie lift you up and curl into her body.

Jessie frowns a little at the heat you're emanating, turning to look at Magda and Pernille with a question in her eyes.

"She's got a bit of a cold," Pernille says," I can take her if you want. There's no need for you to get sick too."

"I can take her," Jessie assures her quickly, adjusting her grip on you," Sick or not, we've got a nap scheduled."

"Jessie naps really good," You say through your stuffy nose, sniffling and wiping it with your shirt.

"Jessie's got a nap talent?" Morsa teases," Alright then. You nap with Jessie but if you feel bad, you have to come and tell me and Momma, alright?"

"Okay."

It's routine for away games for you to sit with Jessie on the bus. She carries a blanket with her now and you completely crash out against her collarbone as she wraps you up and holds you nice and tight like you enjoy.

Usually, you're out the moment the bus starts moving. But, because of your stuffy nose and the throbbing in your head, you can't seem to settle.

You whine and even that comes out nasally. You shift in Jessie's arms. Tears prick in your eyes.

You're very tired. You woke up this morning very early because it was difficult to breathe through the stuffiness in your nose. You'd tossed and turned in bed for a while before finally going to wake up Morsa.

It's a similar thing now as you shift in Jessie's grip.

"It's okay," She says and her cold hands slip under your shirt. Her fingers feel good on your feverish skin and they draw absentminded patterns on your back.

You sigh softly against Jessie's neck.

Her motions are soft and repetitive and the temperature is just what you need.

Pernille peers behind her an hour into the journey, stopping what she was saying to Magda to look back at you and Jessie.

You still look a little flushed from where you're tucked in Jessie's neck but you look content. Jessie's neck is tilted at an awkward angle as her head rests on yours. Her arms are curled around you tightly and she doesn't seem to mind that your drippy nose is pressed up against her shirt.

Pernille takes a picture.

"That one's going in the album," She says to Magda as she turns back around," They're sweet."

"We should probably dose her up before we play," Magda says," We're both starting today and Jessie. Are we leaving her on the bench?"

"We'll have to," Pernille replies," She's not going to be doing any assistant coaching, that's for sure. Zećira is on the bench today. I'm sure she'll look after her."

You stay with Jessie all the way up to the start of the match. You're happy curled into her and don't even put up a fight when Momma and Morsa make you have more medicine.

It helps your headache but not really your stuffy nose so when you're handed off to Zećira, the first thing she does is make you blow it out into a tissue.

"What's that?" You ask as you sit on the bench with her and she brings out a little tub.

"This is Vicks," Zećira says as she lifts up the back of your shirt," It's a vaporub. It's going to help your breathing."

It's nice to know that Zećira's noticed that you're breathing is different. You have to breathe through your mouth now because your nose is all stuffy so it can't get a lot of air through it anymore.

Zećira lathers the weird smelling stuff all over your back and then turns you to put it on your chest too.

It's quite an overpowering smell but it's helping your breath easier so you'll allow it.

"Zećira," You say," When I'm older, will I stop getting sick?"

Zećira laughs a little. You're sitting between her legs as she pulls your hair back so it's out of your face properly. "Sorry," She says," But even adults get sick sometimes."

You shake your head then abruptly stop when it throbs in response. "No," You say," 'Cause I've never seen Momma and Morsa sick."

"They get sick," Zećira assures you," They just hide it better and they take medicine too."

You make a face. "Medicine is yucky."

Zećira jostles you as she chuckles and you turn to look at her. "It is," She agrees," But sometimes we have to take it to feel better."

"Being sick is yucky too."

"Yeah, it is," Zećira agrees again," But it's nothing that a good night's sleep won't fix."

You don't really believe her and make a face.

Zećira is still laughing and she leans closer to whisper in your ear," I'm sure your mums will let you sleep in the big bed if you beg hard enough."

You perk up at that. "Really?"

She nods. "Really."

You grin.

You love sleeping in the Big Bed.

[wontheworld]

can we talk? | 31

"Hey, Sunghoon," Yn whispered as the camera turned off.

He turned around quickly. "Yes?" he answered.

"I want to talk to you," she spoke. "Can you meet me at that park around 10?" she questioned, looking away as she spoke to him.

He smiled before nodding. "Yeah, sure, I'm down," he said. She nodded before going to her room, but he stopped her with his words. "I'm sorry, Yn," he spoke.

She turned around and furrowed her eyebrows. "What's there to be sorry about?" she questioned.

He shrugged. "I... We... Just ignore me. I'll see you at ten," he spoke, going to his room, leaving her confused before going into hers.

🧸.

"Someone looks excited!" Yuri spoke, coming into the bathroom behind the girl.

Yn nodded, fixing her eyeliner. "Finally speaking to him. It's been like a couple of weeks, and then I was gone for those five days. Feels nice to know I'm going to speak to him again," she replied to Yuri.

Yuri hummed. "I'm proud of you, Yn. Please, please, please don't get caught! I'll be damned if you do. All of this could be put down the drain," Yuri said as Yn nodded.

"I promise not to get caught. I have this mask," she spoke, pulling out a black mask from her back pocket. "And this puffer jacket will eat up, don't play," she giggled.

Yuri smiled, about to say something before Yunjin walked in. "Yn babe, your Uber is outside! Go quick before Manager Kim comes back!" She smacked Yn's butt.

Yn laughed. "I'll see you guys later!" she smiled, leaving the bathroom and going to put her shoes on before heading out the door.

🧸.

She sat on the bench, listening to music and waiting for him to come.

"Sorry, I'm a little late. I helped Jay clean up. That's besides the point. What did you want to talk about?" he suddenly spoke, scaring her a bit.

She grinned. "It's alright. I, uh, I need to say a few things," she said.

He nodded slowly. "Okayyyyyy," he dragged out.

She sighed heavily. "I apologize for those weeks I ignored you and shit. I didn't even want to do it, but my manager told me to do it, and I listened to her for some reason, even though it was hurting myself. I was being selfish, talking about saving my career, but that was just bullshit. And when you confessed to me that one day, I felt terrible for not answering you because I like you too. I like you a lot more than you could imagine and--"

She was cut off by a pair of lips connecting to hers. She was surprised but still kissed him back anyway.

He pulled away, grinning. "All those words you're wasting time. We could've been making out by now," he joked.

Even though it was dark outside, he could still see her face turn really red.

"You're getting red. I'm sorry I disturbed your yapping. You can continue," Sunghoon grinned.

She looked at him before leaning in for another kiss, which he gladly accepted, making her smile into the kiss before pulling away.

"I was expecting to apologize, not to kiss," she laughed. He laughed too.

"Well, basically, you got both! And you can finally unblock me, please!" he said, making her laugh even more.

She hummed. "I will, I will," she cheesed.

"What does this make us?" he questioned.

"Let's take it slow. We don't need girlfriend and boyfriend titles that fast, Romeo," she spoke.

He nodded. "I like it. Looks like I'll annoy you 10 times more!" he exclaimed as she rolled her eyes at him playfully.

prev behind the scenes next

Taglist: @deobitifull @hoonstxr @seulgipage @purennn @haechansbbg @minetaphobe @badasgirlfriend @seunnimg @hyuzaa @ttylxox2 @ariadores @nyfwyeonjun @who-tf-soddhi @nqvgue @mikus-bakery @luvlyniya @akuspic @nxzz-skz @minhosprettywife @chillychuu @bee-the-loser @baevsxii

[c-e-d-dreamer]

You've Got Me Thinking She's So Cool

A/N: Happy @emerieweekofficial! :) Ending strong with this fun little fic for Free Day. This fic is inspired by this viral post

Read on AO3

Emerie looks toward the cat-tree tucked into the corner of the living room, tufts of orange fur still clinging to the gray fabric. The emptiness of it has a hollow ache clawing its way through her chest, sinking right into her heart. There should be paws hanging over the edge, should be ears twitching in time with her steps across the hardwood, should be a pair of yellow eyes that perk up in excitement when she heads into the kitchen.

But there is none of those things.

She grabs a mug from the cabinet, hoping a cup of tea might help calm her frayed nerves, but that lingering sadness still twines like thorns between her ribs. It twists and burns until it morphs into rage again. Rage that burns bright and scorches through her veins, that has her wanting to punch something.

Has her wanting to punching someone.

It’s unfair. Unfair that this is happening to her. Unfair that he’s getting away with it. Unfair that he thinks I insulted his dick game is apparently not an appropriate response when the police ask why someone would go through the trouble to kidnap a cat.

Huffing quietly to herself, Emerie digs her phone out, opening back up the text chain she has with Kallon. Her last message to him, pleading with him to just return Mr Knightley and promising that she would pretend this never happened, has still gone unanswered. She can’t believe she unblocked him, just for him to ignore her.

Honestly, shouldn’t he be happy that she figured things out? That she didn’t try to force things or string him along? It was just as much a surprise to her, the realization. Sure, looking back, maybe it shouldn’t have been. There were certainly signs, even going all the way back to her favorite childhood characters and shows. Was it really her fault she just thought everyone found other women beautiful?

This is beneath you and you know it, Emerie types out a new text message. Just bring Mr Knightley back and I’ll be willing to look past the fact you refuse to give back the spare key you're pretending you don't have

She supposes she shouldn’t be surprised when there’s crickets from Kallon. With another annoyed huff, she decides to open Facebook next, finding the Are We Dating the Same Guy? group for Velaris with ease. It’s easy enough to type out a post warning everyone of what a toxic asshole Kallon is, even including the fact that she’s pretty sure he used his spare key to break into her apartment and steal her cat, even if she can't prove it. It takes longer to dig up a photo of Kallon that she can include, but then she’s pressing post.

Emerie tosses her phone aside and finishes preparing her cup of tea, deciding she’s going to spend the rest of the day curled up under her blankets with her latest romance novel until she starts to feel better. She’s made it three chapters when her phone dings. She rushes to grab it, hoping that Kallon has finally decided to stop being a dick, but all she finds is a Facebook notification. A comment on the post she made from a woman named Cresseida.

Omg! I actually know him! He was always trying to hit me up after we hooked up when we were in college. I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there

Emerie blinks a few times, re-reading the comment just to make sure she’s not imagining things. Just to make sure she really is understanding what this Cresseida is offering. This woman would really proposition Kallon just to confirm that Mr Knightley is at his place? It’s absurd, and yet…

I would be eternally grateful if you did that

~ * * * ~

The sound of her phone alarm is annoyingly loud in the quiet, early morning light of her bedroom. With a groan, Emerie rolls over, quickly cutting the sound and the alarm off. She rubs at her eyes, pushing up into a seated position as she scrolls through her notifications, but one in particular catches her eye. It has her perking up instantly, her heart practically skipping over itself in excitement.

It’s a direct message from Cresseida.

Hey, girl! I have your cat. Are you free today to meet up?

Emerie’s jaw practically drops in surprise. Cresseida actually did it? Even more than that, she has Mr Knightley? Emerie had been expecting that maybe Cresseida could confirm Mr Knightley was at Kallon’s apartment or not, that it might finally be enough for her to go back to the police with Cresseida as a credible witness, but this? This is most definitely a turn of events.

Emerie quickly types out a response, messaging back and forth with Cresseida for a few minutes before they both agree to meet at the local bakery and coffee shop downtown. With that, Emerie all but tosses the blankets off and jumps out of bed, a decided skip in her step as she gets ready.

Deja Brew isn’t busy when Emerie pushes through the door, the little bell above it jingling brightly. It’s easy enough to spot Cresseida at the small table she’s claimed, the cat carrier at her feet a dead giveaway. She looks up at the sound of the bell, meeting Emerie’s gaze and offering her a friendly smile and wave in greeting. But Emerie can’t quite get her feet to move, her breath catching hard in her throat.

She’s gorgeous.

Sure, Emerie had seen what Cresseida looked like in her profile photo on Facebook, but seeing her in person is another thing altogether. Her white hair hangs in braids down past her shoulders, perfectly framing her face, and her eyes are such a bright shade of blue that it reminds Emerie of the ocean. She’d certainly be willing to drown in those waves.

She has a pretty shade of pink lipgloss across her full lips, the color only adding further emphasis to her beautiful smile. Emerie doesn’t even know the woman, but already her mind is reeling, the desire to keep Cresseida smiling gripping her hard enough to leave her gasping.

The desire to keep Cresseida smiling at her.

How might that smile change with her different emotions? Would it widen, would her lips part in a bright, melodic laugh if Emerie told a joke? Would it grow soft and fond if she accidentally embarrassed herself? Would it turn sultry and sensual if they–

Shaking her head of her quickly spiraling thoughts, Emerie clears her throat awkwardly, finally stepping over to Cresseida. She can feel heat beginning to creep up her neck and threaten to spill across her cheeks, so she crouches down, focusing on the cat carrier to avoid Cresseida noticing. Mr Knightley lets out a meow in greeting, pressing his face against the walls of the carrier and Emerie’s fingers.

“I can’t believe you just… took him,” Emerie comments, smiling softly at the way Mr Knightley tries to lick her fingers through the carrier.

“Well, it was incredibly easy,” Cresseida explains with an easy shrug of her shoulders. “And besides, what kind of dick kidnaps a cat?”

“How did you do it anyway?” Emerie asks, pushing back to her feet and settling into the seat across from Cresseida.

“All it took was one text. It seems he’s just as desperate as he was back in college. Once we went back to his place, I blew him, and of course, he fell asleep right after that, so I nabbed the cat and got out of there.”

Emerie can’t help but laugh, and she just prays her voice doesn’t sound as breathless as she feels. “You’re amazing.”

She’s not sure if she imagines it or not, but she swears that the blue of Cresseida’s eyes seem to spark in response to the words, swears the corners of her lips lift up that little bit higher.

“What can I say? Women should support women.”

“Amen to that.”

“But I have to ask…” Cresseida begins, leaning closer across the table until Emerie can smell what must be her perfume, the scent light and reminiscent of a sea breeze. “Why were you dating him in the first place?”

“I thought you were going to ask me why we broke up.”

Cresseida laughs at that, the sound just as lovely as Emerie imagined it would be. “I think we both already know the answer to that.”

“You’d be surprised,” Emerie mutters before she can think better and catch herself.

The comment certainly draws Cresseida’s attention, and she tilts her head, raising an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I um…” Emerie ducks her head, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I sort of realized that I actually don’t like men? But… I don’t know. Kallon wasn’t that bad when we first met.”

“Isn’t that how it always is.”

Mr Knightley gives a pitiful yowl from their feet, and Emerie realizes belatedly that she should probably get him back home soon. He’s always hated being trapped in a carrier, much preferring running laps around the apartment. She can let him free and give him lots of treats after the horrible ordeal of being cat-napped.

“But seriously. Thank you again for this,” Emerie tells her, raising her eyes to meet Cresseida’s gaze again. “You have to let me Venmo you to thank you properly.”

“I am absolutely not accepting your money,” Cresseida laughs again. “I already told you, women supporting women.”

“At least let me offer to buy you a drink sometime. I owe you. Let me repay it somehow.”

Cresseida hums softly, and Emerie is sure this time about that spark that flares through the other woman’s eyes. Cresseida dares to stretch her hand across the table between them, her fingertips brushing against the back of Emerie’s hand and sending sparks ricocheting up her arm, goosebumps cascading and radiating from that simple touch.

Emerie can feel her heart skipping between her ribs, feel heat curling around her spine, and she can’t look away from the woman sitting in front of her. Can’t look away from those bright blue eyes and that pretty pretty smile. Can’t look away from Cresseida’s lips and the tongue that darts out to wet them.

“Alright, fine. I’ll agree to drinks, but on one condition. It’s not repayment. It’s a date.”

[annaraebananawriter]

It’s with this that the mood in the room finally turns serious, a chill crawling up his spine as his eyes lock with Ink’s. He swallows. “I think your theory’s the same as mine.” Ink nods. Dream completes the thought for them both, speaking the name they’ve avoided ever since they locked it away: “HATE.” The name echoes in the room, the chill in his spine turning into a full shudder as the name settles around them, pressing down on their shoulders as if someone else was watching them. It wasn’t possible—they were the only ones left in the room—but still. It felt like someone was listening, and each of them stayed silent as they thought about what this meant.

CHAPTER FOUR IS LIVE!!!

*looks at the amount of time between this update and the last one* ...you knows what? Let's all ignore that. I'm back now, hopefully for good, so it doesn't really matter. Besides, it's not like I didn't warn you already that my updates are inconsistent. Even if I still didn't mean more than a year's wait...

I got blocked a bit on how to progress the story. And then some of it unblocked, but the other half--the one that I needed to figure out, still remained blocked and it wasn't until recently (this week) that I managed to figure it out. There's still a few things I'm unhappy with, but I've decided to just get the chapter over and done with, which is why you're getting it now. I still have to rework the next few chapters, but that should be easier given the future stuff I've figured out. Heck, I've even started writing one of the future chapters, and I hope to continue along like that if I don't know what to do with the sooner ones.

So, don't expect another chapter too soon. Maybe next month. Who knows.

But! As I said, I am back now! With a lovely chapter that lets us take a peek at the other side of things!

I'm really excited to hear your thoughts/theories on what's going on! Be sure to let be know what you think in the comments.

Happy reading!

[heliza24]

@bluedalahorse and I are currently in the process of really preparing ourselves for season 3 of Young Royals! Blue and I will watch eps 1-5 together, and then @sillyunicorn will be in town on finale day so all three of us will get to watch together! So fun.

In preparation we have done a rewatch and also I have decorated my living room to create the Perfect Hillerska atmosphere 😂

In order to live up to the ideals of my sign and not get caught up in any drama that might surround plot points in the new season, I am going to be blocking the Young Royals tag on here starting tomorrow. The goal is to enjoy the season and have time to come to our own thoughts and conclusions about it before I get influenced by what other people are saying. That’s how I watched seasons 1 and 2, just Blue and I. And I’m excited to have that experience again. I’ll probably unblock the tag/post some of my own thoughts later in March.

If anyone wants to say hi via message during that time though feel free!

I wish you all a happy season 3 💜

[twotangledsisters]

You’re awesome for posting fic updates not only consistently, but daily! Any tips for keeping up with writing?

Thank you so much! I love updates and writing being a part of my routine and I'm glad other people enjoy it too!

And sure, I can think of some tips:

First, there's a mixture of inspiration and forcefulness. I remember when I was really little I read a post somewhere about how if you want to take something seriously, you have to take it seriously on the days when you're inspired and on the days you're not. That changed how I treat art forever!

But years and years later I learnt a more important lesson, to never overlook the power of inspiration.

It's through a mixture of both that I can really keep up with writing. If I only wrote when inspired, sooner or later I'd get a loooong writing block that would leave me simply paralysed. But I'll often do the 'just one chapter' method, and often writing just a few paragraphs will get me back into the flow. But if I'm still very blocked after a chapter, that's fine.

But if I am inspired, I will follow that. Even if it takes my story in weird directions that weren't planned! A good example is that Caine rescuing Cass in the final S1 fic wasn't planned, she wasn't planned to come along in S2 and certainly did not expect her to fall in love... A lot of their scenes came from me writing while inspired.

Now, stuff such as Eugene's near death in S1 finale, the way Koto framed him, the way Cass had to deal with accusations of witchcraft, those stuff were planned way ahead of time!

It's really important to keep that balance, to have plans and also leave room for inspiration to run wild!

An added bonus, if you feel an intense desire to go write a fic that's completely different to the one you're trying to work on, just let inspiration win. I was struggling a bit with the 'Day of Animals' arc in tangled sisters the other day, then I got the urge to do a little Cass oneshot, so I wrote the oneshot in one sitting and have had zero issues writing since.

Sometimes you can unblock writing block with MORE writing! As long as you're letting inspiration guide you.

Second is to take breaks! I update every day but I do not write every day. I write a few times a week and usually have at least one really long session!

One of my currently updating fics 'Always By Your Side' I wrote half of it in like a week, took a few months break, then wrote the rest and started publishing!

Sometimes long breaks can really help. I've taken several long breaks with Tangled Sisters.

Third is stay ahead. With 'Always By Your Side' I have it completely written so I just proof read on the day of upload. Tangled Sisters I keep track of in Notion:

Look how cute my fanfic section is!

I'm usually at least 30 chapters ahead but I did take a writing break recently. Soon as I get the next arc done I expect to be well ahead again.

Fourth, motivation! This one isn't entirely your control, but a huge factor for keeping up is just that I'm super motivated! I can thank the amazing people who comment every day, those who comment occasionally, those who leave kudos or send nice asks like this one!

It does sooo much to make me smile and excited for the stories I'm telling.

And if you look at my fanfic section of notion, I have that little box titled kind words, the content actually changed every time I reload the page, it's linked to a little table where I keep track of all the kind words regarding my fics that I've gotten on Ao3 and tumblr! (I also have several bits of fanart by the amazing @rebecagpfs in that page who I cannot thank enough!!!)

So, although you don't have full control over motivation, having a notebook to collect those kind words can help!

Fifth would be talk to people. Have at least one person who's cool with spoilers cause brainstorming is just easier with somebody else! For me @the-writer1988 has got me through sooo many writer's blocks! Often times I just ramble at her until the problem resolves itself, other times it'd be a more active back and forth. But writing friends supporting each other, always great!

And hey, to anybody who wants to ramble about their fics to me I'm always open! I love hearing about people's fics and am huge on the writer supporting writers sorta mentality!

Sixth is just have fun! If you enjoy what you're writing it's going to be sooo much easier than if you don't.

I do want to point out though, every writer's different! I can sit down and write 10k words in one sitting, but a lot of people can't, just like I need five hour to do a drawing many artists can do in an hour.

Writing is an art and you get faster with experience.

Also, I do daily updates because I adore consistency! Having that routine is amazing for me and I think it's lovely for some readers. But I also accomplish that via very short chapters! Sometimes as short as just 600-700 words. Many authors opt for longer chapters that upload weekly but there still writing the same amount!

So yeah, I do hope this helped!

Thank you so much for the ask :D And if anything didn't make sense, please tell me, it's almost 1am here I just noticed but I really wanted to answer this before bed!

[hinamie]

I was so excited for going to dinosaur town today that I forgot it was jjk Sunday and remembered I would finally be able to unblock the leak/spoiler tags and check for any new art from you. So thanks for reminding me to actually read jjk today.

And thanks for doing the time skip piece so much. I loved and and I love they give the vibes of having grown up and relaxed into who they are, hopefully that makes sense

the way my face lit up at the concept of dinosaur town fgsdhjfgjd that sounds so fucking fun i don't blame you for forgetting about leaks :'> last weeks chapter was boring to put it kindly so i didn't rly do anything for it unfortunately but as always i'm happy that u anticipate my art :'>>>

and YEAH once i got the faces down i actually ended up really liking the timeskip piece and i'm very grateful tht others seem to like it too <333 ty again fr requesting it :')

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

What happened ☹️

Before new year’s eve, i was thinking a lot about somebody who i used to be friends with. Last year, we were SO close even though we were online friends. Closer than i was with my irl bestfriend. They made me feel like someone cared about me A LOT. We’d talk everyday, send each other pictures and everything. I was so vulnerable with them. We’d tell each other everything. They knew i considered myself an incel at that time and they were okay with that. They would say stuff like “you go femcel loser girl” like it was some sort of cool thing but i was fine with that. I realized months later that they probably had no idea what that meant. I’ve talked about them on another post.

Suddenly they stopped talking to me. I had no idea why. I texted them for explanations but no response. I was left unaware. The least they could’ve done is TELL ME i did something wrong or that they just didn’t want to be friends with me anymore? But they didn’t even bother. I was left waiting for two months for an answer like a mutt. I don’t understand how you can just do that. When a day ago you were so sweet. It made me really sad since I’d ditch other people to have more time to chat with them. One day, i sort of lashed out in their dms and i sent a bunch of mean and disrespectful stuff. But can you blame me??? I was very angry. I sent apologies on my birthday and they ended up posting them on their story to mock me.

And two weeks ago, i was thinking about them, i really missed them. I hated how they immediately got super close to one of my acquaintances. How can you replace somebody so easily? Do you just love bomb them and then cut them off as if you never knew them? Without even telling them why? Whatever. I was really sad so i decided to text that acquaintance of mine to talk about it with them. I apologized properly this time and unblocked them. We talked it out and they admitted that it was wrong of them too to just cut me off like that. They said the reason why they stopped talking to me was because i kept saying i hated women and i kept talking about rape…… what’s so difficult about just telling me you didn’t like it? I could’ve explained myself, why are they never interested in why? When i finally did they were like “oooh that explains a lot! It’s a lot more clearer!” Well duh???

We became friends again, like immediately. I was surprised! But that was fine because i was happy. I was so excited. I noticed how they were now bestfriends with that person i know, which hurt and bothered me. I was just thinking uhh I knew you before them but okay it’s fine i can’t control you. It was so fun to talk to them again because they were back at calling me pretty and cool and everything.

They’d only reply during a certain amount of time because their schedule is pretty busy. I’m fine with that! But they’ve been ignoring me since sunday. I know they’re ignoring me because I’ve seen them watch my stories but not like them. I’ve seen them post and be online but they’d still not reply to my messages. I’m still waiting. Why does it have to happen again? I’m sure i haven’t done anything wrong this time. What did i do? What have i said that was wrong? Why can’t they tell me? Why do i get treated this way? Why are people so hard to understand? What did they see that changed their mind? Was i bad? Or maybe they were planning this? Maybe they wanted to make me feel worse by love bombing me again and then leaving me YET AGAIN?

I don’t like this. When will people stop leaving me ??????

You’re making it so hard for me to stay a sweetheart

[thechaotictheoryy]

Unravel | 6. The Boy I Once Loved Pt. 2

summary: What if you had chains around your heart but you were the one who put them there? If you took a look at Parker’s heart, you would see a nice beating heart but Parker felt there were heavy metal chains wrapped it. After years of a disconnected relationship with her parents and a hard break up with her boyfriend of four years, Parker Williams made her heart mentally chained. Declaring to never fall in love again but what happens when she meets a witty musician who is all about seeking love?

pairing: main character x Hongjoong ft. ex! Yeosang

genre: (18+ minors dni), romance, fluff, lots of angst, coming to age, college au, smut, strangers to lovers, self discovery

word count: 4,636

chapter warnings: flashback againnn, self realization, Parker talking to the girl from Yeosang's apartment, Jessica being the goat.

song rec for this chapter: Better Things by Aespa

Wednesday November 4th, 2020 

The time was finally here. 

The showing of my big art piece was going to be shown in the LAMC. I was going to be a part of the November to February art gallery because my piece fit the theme better. I ended up destroying the piece I had been working on and painted the new piece for almost eighteen hours straight on that Sunday after I was discharged from the hospital. Nicole and Kayla had to pull me out of my room for dinner because I didn’t eat that entire day. I was determined to get it done because my emotions were at an all time high. I ended up breaking down like twice while painting but it made the details even more beautiful. 

It was about 7:30 at night and the gallery was opening up at 8:15. I looked in the mirror at my outfit and I smiled. I was really about to let over thousands of people see my work and I was excited yet nervous. All of my art class including Mr. Cook told me they were coming to see it. My class was a very supportive bunch, you always just needed a group of people who knew it was okay to fail because there is always room for improvement and success. I hope Mr. Cook was going to be proud of me. I always take the opportunity he has given me since freshman year to heart. He really is one of the first teachers I ever had to treat me like I was his kid and wanted to see me be something in life. 

“Come on Parker! It’s like a 30 minute ride!” I heard Nicole yell. 

“I’ll be right out!” 

After I finished fixing myself and grabbing my bag, we headed out. Los Angeles was so beautiful at night and I was always amazed when we came down here at night. Despite me being from here, I never was downtown till I had started dating Yeosang. 

Yeosang... 

He tried to contact me a few times after that night but I always kept ignoring it. I blocked him  a few times then would unblock just because in case he was in a death or life situation, he could still reach me. I hated him for what he did but I still loved him very much. He was my first love after all, I could never leave him to suffer when he needed someone on his side. It was the kindness in my heart and just how insanely in love I still was with him. I wish it would go away but love never goes if it was real and I, Parker Williams, was indescribably in love with him. I hate to admit it but I probably won’t be dating for a while. 

I must have been thinking about it for a long time because we had just parked in the parking lot of the museum. I took a few deep breaths before getting out of the car. I saw a lot of people dressed up and walking inside, it made me even more anxious. I felt my palms getting sweaty and my body slightly starting to tremble. I felt Nicole grab my left hand and Kayla grab my right, they both smiled at me. I smiled back at them and we walked in the museum. My ears were filled with all the voices in the room, there were over thousands of people here already. I saw the gallery and there were red clothes on all of them. I had to be there a little early so I could stand next to my piece, I squeezed my roommates hands then walked away. I told the people at the red ropes my name and showed my ID, they let me right in. I looked around at all the paintings that were covered, it had to be about 20 pieces that were going to be shown today. I just hope mine was up to par as the other talented painters. 

Most of these were shipped in, all the painters were from different parts of the world and all order than me. I was the only person under 27 who had a piece in here today, that was huge in my eyes. I saw my name and the large canvas on the wall. I walked slowly to it and tears came to my eyes. I wonder how many doors this would open for me, I wasn’t trying to be too emotional but I knew this opportunity could either put me on the map or just another mediocre piece that would be known to locals. I checked the time again and it was two minutes before they were going to remove the ropes for people to come. I saw two men walk over to me and they removed the red cloth off the painting. I was in awe at my own piece, it felt so different seeing again. I think that atmosphere had an effect on my thought process. It felt like the two minutes went by fast because I could hear the noises of people filling the room and the sounds of heels hitting the ground. 

“Wow,” I heard someone say behind me. 

I turned around and there were 50 people staring at my piece. I think it caught other people's attention and almost everyone in the room was looking at me and my work. I moved to the side so they could read the title and the description about it. The name of it was called “Trouble in Paradise”. It was two angels crying and facing each other, holding bleeding hearts. There were big holes in their chest to show the pain and struggle of ripping out their hearts. The sky was blue and the shine was shining bright on them. Their mouths were open to indicate they were yelling at each other. I remember crying about this after I finished it. It was one of the best pieces I ever did so far and it was just an expression of my pain. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I turned to see Mr. Cook and my class. 

“You guys made it!” 

“Parker, this painting,” Mark said. 

“Do you guys like it?”

“Hell yeah,” all of them said in unison and gave me a thumbs up. 

“I’m proud of you Parker, especially after you told me what happened,” Mr. Cook said, patting my back. 

I slightly smiled at him and looked back at my painting. Two days after my break up when I went to turn in the painting to Mr. Cook, he could tell I was off and he has observed me for the past year to kind of know me more than I know myself at times. I broke down in front of him. He just listened to me and watched me cry. He let me vent for about an hour straight, he didn’t judge me nor did he say the words “everything will be okay”. He was real and honest with me. 

The world won’t stop because you’re sad. Take that heartbreak and pain and place it into your work. 

He let me hug him for thirty minutes as I got myself together. He was the kind of person I wanted as my father. He was right with what he said, the world won’t stop rotating or take a pause for me. It’ll keep going until it’s ready to fall apart. I knew his words were going to stay with me for a while because I needed to take the phrase with me into every hardship I go through, whether it be my paintings not getting noticed or more heartbreaks that happen to me. 

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned to see Jessica.

“You told me you couldn’t make it,” I gave her a hug. 

“My job let me get off early because I told them I had to come support my little cousin,” she rubbed my back. 

I remember telling Jessica about my break up and she was ready to find Yeosang. I know the first thing she would want to do is to bear his ass but I didn’t want him to get kicked out of the university. I know her reasons for coming to school and I didn’t need to fall into the place she was in before she got here. Jessica always felt like something was up with Yeosang but she saw how happy I was with him so she put her opinions to the side. 

But her opinions were right. 

“This is beautiful,” she said, looking up. 

“Only took me a few hours because of how hurt I was” 

“Guess this is how painters put their best work out by being hurt sometimes” 

“Sometimes, some painters are just happy in general or in love when they put out their best work” 

“You know I know nothing about art but I support it because I find it interesting” 

“I know,” I laughed. 

Two hours passed and I met so many people in that amount of time. I was watching how I represented myself and talked to them because I didn’t know who was big time or who could have connections to someone important. I hope I will get something out of tonight. The gallery was about to close in about an hour. This family I was currently talking to were some sculptors and they were just giving me some tips if I ever wanted to invest into it. 

“Are you Parker Williams?” I heard a voice with a thick Korean accent behind me. 

“I am,” I turned around and my eyes widened. 

It was Mr. Oh Se-jung, he was the president of Seoul National University. I was in complete shock that Mr. Cook had to pinch my side. 

“Mr. Cook has told me so much about you and your class. He invited me here about two weeks ago, saying you got picked to have your painting here. He also sent me photos of some of your other work.  I just want to say your piece is amazing,” he shook my hand. 

I looked at Mr.Cook and he smiled at me. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. The 27th president of Seoul National University was speaking to me, admiring my painting. I didn’t think this would ever happen or maybe not this soon in my life. 

“It’s an honor to have you here sir”

“I heard you were thinking about doing a study abroad program at Korea National University for the summer?”

“Yes, it was one of the schools I was thinking about” 

He turned to my painting and walked up to it a little more then turned his head, smiling at me. The next words that came out his mouth was nothing that I was expecting. 

“Mm, I would like to give you a summer scholarship to SNU. Everything paid including your flight there and back. You’ll also be able to stay in one of the small apartments near the university. You don’t have to give me an answer right now but I need one in about a week so I can put your name and send you the application to apply” 

My mouth slightly dropped and I felt my heart rate increase. Did this man just say a full ride and everything paid for? This isn’t just my imagination right? My legs felt a little weak but I need to be professional right now, I could not embarrass myself right now and faint. 

“Yes, yes I accept. It would be a pleasure to be a student at your university” 

“It’s settled then, I’ll get Mr. Cook to email me your information. It was nice meeting you Parker and can’t wait to have you with us this summer,” he smiled and walked away, going to look at other pieces. 

I looked at Mr. Cook and hugged him tight. This felt like a dream, a dream that I didn’t want to wake up from. Maybe my break up happened for a reason. I didn’t believe in fate or things aligning with the stars but it was just the right timing for what I just went through. My nights of crying till my eyes dried and beating myself up in my head got me here, which is sad but it’s the truth. This night is definitely going down as one of the best nights ever in my life. 

As the night came to a close, the director told me at the last minute that the artists present had to say a thank you speech to everyone before the closing for the night. I didn’t have a fear of speaking in front of crowds but I hated when I would start talking fast so I would trip over my words a lot. I was listening to some of the thank you speeches from some others who were present and they kept it too short for my liking. 

When it finally got to my turn, they handed me the mic and I took a deep breath. 

“Hey everyone, my name is Parker Williams and I’m a student at USC. Thank you to everyone who came and checked out my painting called Trouble in Paradise. Special thanks to Mr. Cook, my art teacher, for giving me such an opportunity to showcase my work. Thank you LAMC for giving me a chance and having me displayed in the November-February gallery. I hope my painting made you think and made you figure out the meaning. I can’t wait for my next pieces to share with the people of Los Angeles and in the country. You guys have a nice night and thank you again” 

I heard people start to clap and some cheered, the loudest ones were my classmates and Jessica. I laughed a little and blew a kiss to them. I was ready to go back to my dorm and sleep. I was so worried about how to go tonight that the mental exhaustion was starting to hit my body. After telling everyone goodbye, I headed back to campus with Nicole and Kayla. 

I fell into my bed with a big smile on my face. I wanted to relive this night for a long time. I pulled out my phone and went through my contacts till I found my mom’s name. I sighed and pressed the call button, putting the phone up to my ear. I usually call sometimes just to check up on them because they were still my parents. 

“Yes Parker?”

I told her everything that happened in the past week and it was just silent for a few seconds. I don’t know if she didn’t know what to say or she was trying to process everything that I said. 

“Sorry to hear about your break up and congratulations,” her voice was so monotone. 

“Thanks mom” 

“I’ll let your father know what you told me tonight” 

“If you don’t care, I’m sure he wouldn’t give two shits about what’s going on with me” 

“So why do you call?” 

I was silent. Why do I call every chance I get knowing they don’t care? Was I trying to be a respectable daughter to let my parents know what’s going on with me? Did I feel guilty in a way for not being what they wanted me to be? 

Or was I looking for acceptance and love from the two people that thought they would love and accept me no matter what? 

“Just keep you guys updated mom,” my voice cracked a little. 

“Parker, cut the crap okay? We haven’t had a real conversation with you since you were about 15 and we haven’t seen you since you been in college” 

“Why did you guys let my dreams tear us apart?” 

“We wanted better for you and you wanted to be a creative with little to no possible future Parker” 

“Can’t believe you just said that,” I felt tears fall down my cheeks as I closed my eyes. 

I hung up on her and threw my phone across the room. I sighed and sat up, while wiping the tears off my face. I felt so abandoned by the only two people who were suppose to have my back and love more than anyone in this fucked up world. They were supposed to be my rocks, my shoulders to cry on, my encouragers. Instead, they broke me and left me. Literally moved across the country so they didn’t have to see my face. My first heartbreak will forever be my parents. They shattered it and stepped on the pieces. 

I always felt like they might change one day considering they still sometimes send me money to survive on since I have no job. If I didn’t supposedly care about my child, I wouldn’t be dropping three thousand dollars in the account every month. Most of the money went to my savings anyway for me to find somewhere to live after I graduated from here. I was going to find a job so I didn’t have to depend on them anymore since they clearly didn’t care about my success. It was like they wanted me to fail in life since I didn’t want to be a lawyer or an attonery. I feel like even if I made it big with being a creator, my parents still wouldn’t care. They were well off and definitely didn’t need money from me even if I made more than them. 

I took off my shirt and headed into the bathroom. I turned on the water for my shower then stopped at the mirror. I touched the necklace I had on and played with it. It was a paintbrush necklace that Yeosang had given me for my birthday last year. I yanked it off and it broke off.  I threw in the trash and rubbed my neck. I wanted to remove everything that reminded me of him. I looked at the tattoo on my left rib and ran my fingers over it. It said “Kiss me in the rain till the sun peaks and finds warmth on our skin”. It was a tattoo that I got with him but he had it on his right rib and it said “Kiss me in the sun till the cloud filled with rain  finds us and wets our skin”. 

It was the only thing that would remind of him but at least it wasn’t his name or anything. It was just two quotes we made up together but someone could think it’s from a book because I do like to read from time to time. I took out my hair out of the bun it was in and took off the rest of my clothes. I hopped in the shower and let the water immediately hit my face. I hope my days become better and brighter. I didn’t want these clouds of pain to cover the sun that was trying to shine on my brain. 

It’s been a week since the gallery and everytime I would be out on campus, someone would come to me and ask if they could watch me paint sometimes or be invited to the next art gallery I was in. It was a bit overwhelming for the most part. Attention was nice but too much of it made my anxiety go up a little bit. 

 I was currently in the art studio, just doing some freestyle drawing. I had the window open so I could hear the people outside and just the nature. The building was by some trees so I could hear and see birds a lot. It was currently around 6:17 in the afternoon and all my classes were finished for today. I didn’t have anything planned till around 8pm. Nicole, Kayla, Jessica, and one of Jessica’s friends named Emmett wanted to go to this ramen spot downtown. 

 I heard the door open and I saw a girl. I raised my eyebrow and she was just looking at me.

“Can I help you?”

“Parker right?”

“Yeah, who are you?”

“My name is Isabelle, I was the girl in Yeosang’s apartment that night” 

My eyes widened slightly and it started coming back to me. I knew she looked familiar in a way but I didn’t know where from but now I know. What could she possibly want? To warn me to stay from Yeosang? She didn’t need to threaten me about that. 

“What’s up?” I put my pencil down. 

“I just wanted to talk to you, I felt like we were both confused and hurt that night” 

I put hand out as a signal for her to sit in front of me, I don’t know why I was so chill right now but I always been known for nothing wanting to be in a lot of drama so I probably get my attitude from my dad because he stayed out the way a lot when I was growing up, especially when him and my mother would get into disagreements. 

“How long were you and Yeosang together?” she asked. 

“Four years, four long years,” I crossed my arms and rubbed my forehead. 

“Are you fucking serious?” she looked at me in disbelief. 

“Yeah, how long were you guys together?”

“Parker, I got with him almost like a year and half ago”

The thought made me want to throw up. Yeosang was cheating on me for nearly almost two years and I never caught on. Considering he wasn’t here yet, he could have met Isabelle anywhere when I wasn’t around.

“Where did you guys meet?” I asked. 

“He was at this party that I went to with some friends, I wasn’t even trying to pursue him but he came on to me and we had sex that same night. Then after I think like 3 months, we started dating” 

That explains when sometimes he wouldn’t mind when we didn’t go out sometimes or when he was “busy” some days. He was playing and toying with both of us. He is fucking sick and it’s even more disgusting he was having sex with both of us. He would only cling to me when Isabelle wasn’t available to him. We had discussed some more about both of our relationships with him and just found out how we were both getting played. We cried to each other because undeniably we were both in love with him. Isabelle's cries were not like mine, I was sobbing all over again. I can’t say I was deeper in love with him but if you saw us both, you would believe I was. I even showed him the tattoo that  I got. 

“He told me it was a quote he heard one of his family members said,” she said, wiping her eyes. 

That was like a sucker punch to my stomach. His friends are some bitches too because that means they knew about me and Isabelle. Isabelle told me she went out with Yeeosang and his friends a few times. They were always telling me that they were rooting for me and Yeosang to stay together forever. They were even there when we got the tattoo. 

“We got a tattoo too” 

“Where” 

She pulled out her bottom lip and it read “Yeosang, the only angel I need” in Korean. I knew she would regret that tattoo for the rest of her life unless she planned to go back to him. 

“What does his tattoo say?” 

“It should say “Belle, the only star that shines on me” in Korean but who knows if that’s what he really got” 

“It’s not,” I sighed. 

“Are you kidding me?”

“He told me he was being spontaneous and got “My skies are blue when I’m with you” in Korean, and he showed it to me. He said I always said it to him on occasion so he got it tatted. 

“That man is fucking evil” 

“Very evil” 

We talked for another thirty minutes then she left. She gave me her number in case I ever wanted to hang out with her. I don’t think that would do me and her any good honestly. We would just be reminded of who Yeosang used to be with. I couldn’t wait to tell everyone at dinner about this, it was just unbelievable to hear. 

I can’t believe he was really cheating on me for almost two years like that’s real mind blowing to hear. He didn’t care about his actions. Those tears that came out of his eyes when I was in the hospital were fake and he knew they were. Who knew how many other hearts he hurt out here. What if me and Isabelle weren't the only ones? It made me feel so sick to my stomach to think about it. 

I checked the time and it was 7:30 and I cleaned up everything before heading out. When I made it back to the room and saw everyone waiting for me. I dropped off my stuff in my room and changed my outfit before we headed out.

Those beautiful lights that shone around the LA downtown area always got me. We found the ramen place and the scenery inside was so beautiful as the waiter took us to a table. I heard this place didn't check for IDs for drinks so that was the first thing we ordered. 

“The wildest shit happened today,” I put my menu down

“Share with the class,” Jessica said jokingly. 

“The girl Yeosang was cheating on me with, popped up at the studio”

Everyone got quiet and stared at me. 

“Are you serious?” Nicole said. 

I nodded and started to explain everything that happened. I told them everything Isabelle had told me even about the fucked up tattoo. I tried my best not to get emotional because I was tired of crying over this evil ass man. 

“Parker, please let me whoop his ass,” Jessica pleaded. 

“No, he’s not even worth it” 

“He cheated on you for almost two years and got this Isabelle girl to get his name tattooed inside her bottom lip, if that doesn't deserve to get your ass beat then you are too nice Parker,” Kayla said. 

I looked down at the menu. I knew Yeosang deserved everything coming his way because I didn’t want my friends to get in the middle of it. Some way or somehow Yeosang was going to get the karma coming his way maybe not now but soon in the future. The first part of it is not giving his power to believe that I would just forgive anytime he decided to come back around or try to talk to me. 

“I think me and Isabelle just moving on will show him that both of us are threw with him and we’re not his beck and call anymore. My revenge is showing my ex I don’t need him and I never will again,” I looked at them. 

“I support that,” Emmett said. 

I smiled and nodded at him as a “thank you”. 

“You know we support you no matter what but if he pulls some shit, I’m punching him,” Jessica said, looking back at her menu. 

I rolled my eyes in a joking manner. I loved my friends so much and I knew they would always be here for me when I needed them most but I didn’t want to be dependent on them when I got hurt.

I had to go through things myself and learn how to trust myself in these situations. I won’t go back to Yeosang and that was a promise I just had to make to myself. 

He just had to be the boy I once loved. 

taglist: @hwaslayer

previous. next.

[theunwellkingdom]

Design Deep-Dive #10: From Concept to Card

Iteration is crucial to good design. Your first ideas are rarely your best, and especially when designing an entire set of cards, it's impossible to know exactly how everything will interact until you actually sit down and play with it. One of the clearest examples of this is the card Mesmir's Betrayal, which required a drastic overhaul to find its niche!

Let's take a look at how this card went from rough concept, to one of the most exciting cards in the set!

1. Concept

Mesmir's Betrayal is a top-down design, meaning I started from the theming and flavor and had to build mechanics to fit (as opposed to bottom-up design, where the mechanical effects come first and narrative theming is decided later). In this case, I knew three things:

Mesmir was a powerful NPC wizard who betrayed our heroes at the end of a pivotal arc.

I'd already drawn art of this story beat that would be perfect for a card.

In this set, Red and Blue are all about Wizards, so this card should be a big, flashy payoff in those colors! Ideally, if you're playing lots of Wizards, this card should be able to close out the game.

2. First Draft

After a bit of thought, this was the first version of the card I printed out:

{2}🔥 Instant Rare

Until end of turn, target Wizard gains +3/+0, first strike, trample, and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a creature, exile that creature."

Cycling 💧 (💧, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

I really wanted to lean into the idea of a Wizard turning around and becoming a lethal threat! So this first draft operated as a combat trick that gives a scary stack of keywords a la Kaldra Compleat.

However, the way it's written, it would do absolutely nothing without a Wizard already in play. I decided this would be a good opportunity to split the Red and Blue identities of the card into two modal effects -- you could spend 🔥 for the aggressive combat trick, and 💧 to simply cycle the card away and draw a new one, if the situation didn't line up. It didn't feel like a perfect compromise, but it was good enough for the testing phase.

3. Playtesting

After several playtests, I began to realize that this card didn't operate the way I'd hoped. Frankly, it didn't operate at all -- even in tests where players had access to the card and were playing lots of Wizards in their deck, this card just wasn't making the cut. Instead, I focused on what was working with those decks, to see why this didn't fit into the gameplan and came away with several insights:

A combat trick feels useless to a non-combat-focused deck. The Izzet Wizards archetype wants to sling spells, not rely on pushing damage through combat. While it's important for those decks to have Wizards on board, their main role is to enhance other instants and sorceries, and to provide good targets for Concentration auras.

The buff feels unnecessarily complex. All those stats and keywords can be difficult to parse and make the card easier to dismiss. It feels flashy and scary, which is great, but it might as well read "Target Wizard gets +3/+0 and unblockable."

The card feels small. Making this card a 3-drop doesn't give it the impression of a big finisher. As flashy as the buff is, it doesn't feel like an effect that's likely to end the game on the spot.

It ignores too many Blue subthemes. Blue decks in this set have a lot of support for completely different angles, especially hand and library manipulation. If this card could hook into those synergies somehow, it might be more attractive to players.

It's not really "betraying" anything. Sure, making a Wizard suddenly good at combat does a decent job of conveying Mesmir's sudden heel-turn, but it doesn't quite capture the scope of our story: a man throwing his entire community into ruin for a chance at personal gain, a desperate but calculated final gambit!

With all this in mind, I was ready to push Mesmir's Betrayal to the next level...

4. Iteration

{4}🔥🔥 Sorcery 198/275 Rare

Mesmir's Betrayal deals 2 damage to any target. Wizardstorm (When you cast this spell, exile any number of target Wizards you control and/or Wizard cards from your hand. Copy this spell for each Wizard exiled this way. You may choose new targets for the copies.) Wizardcycling {1}💧 ({1}💧, Discard this card: Search your library for a Wizard card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Deal 2 damage. Wizardstorm. Wizardcycling.

Now we're talking.

It's risky to commit an entire brand-new keyword for this single card, but I just couldn't pass up the chance to play on the infamous Storm mechanic of MtG past! Instead of copying the spell for each other card played this turn, Mesmir's Betrayal lets you trade off your Wizards for damage, either decimating your own board or cashing out your hand to potentially reach lethal levels of burn!

Wizardstorm also provides an extremely satisfying mirror for the Wizardcycling mode of the card. This technically isn't a new mechanic, thanks to the cheeky and experimental Future Sight era. But it's certainly a deep cut that fits the flavor of the card and makes the card way more interesting in the early game, if you're having trouble drawing your Wizards or before you're ready to go all in on the burn plan.

It also allowed me to design a fun nod to Mesmir himself, by giving the creature version of his card an ETB that shuffles some spells back into your library. So you can Wizardcycle to find Mesmir, and then play him to let your opponent know... his Betrayal could be just around the corner! But that's a Card Showcase for another day.

5. Lather, Rinse, Repeat...

In all, the revised version of this card is a massive improvement in every aspect, and it's already been used to great success in a playtest with its new text! Most importantly, the Izzet Spellslinger archetype, which has underperformed so far compared to more creature-combat strategies, finally has a proper build-around card to pull players into those colors in a draft!

But of course, I'll keep testing it to make sure it's right in that sweet spot. The key to iteration, after all, is to keep iterating.

[inventors-fair]

Sagas Beyond Commentary

Hello! Here is the commentary for the universes beyond saga contest. Lot of really good ones this week, and a lot a lot of cool ideas all around.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by @wolkemesser

I like how the last ability encourages them to give you something stronger with the first two. I’m not sure it’s *enough* to encourage it, but it might be, and it’s definitely an interesting choice. I just think this is too strong though. 4 mana, even in three colors, is really good for a double reanimate, and this does a lot more than that as well.

Witches’ Prophecy by @halfsilveredmirror

I am *fascinated* by the tech you used here, I think this is really cool, but I think you went too all-in on flavor and the card suffers for it. The conditions are just too hyperspecific imo; too all in on flavor at the cost of gameplay. Maybe “land creature” and “nontoken, nonland creature that wasn’t cast”. Even that’s pretty specific but at least a bit more doable; i can at least picture a set that might be able to reasonably make those both doable enough.

The Lode Poneglyphe by @eveydeevey

The final chapter here seems rather disappointing. I can’t think of many times I’d want a land on turn what, 9? Maybe something like nykthos, but still. Is there something else you could change the last chapter to? I’d also be careful with stuff like the first chapter, like where if your opponent has no boardstate you’re forced to make your own creatures fight, but if you don’t have good targets for that first ability you probably aren’t casting this card so it’s not a huge deal. Otherwise though, this is pretty good overall. It tells it’s story well enough- two people (who were working together?) fight, something breaks, some kind of treasure gets discovered. Pretty good for some pretty generic effects, I like it quite a bit.

First Threadfall // Fort Weyr by @bergdg

I think it could use just a little more excitement factor, it’s very conservatively costed. I like how it gives you back a land after (theoretically) making you sacrifice one, but I think the cost of the manland could be much lower cause frankly, at this same cost and those first two effects I could see a saga just straight up creating a dragon token, so the extra mana needed there is a shame.

Lumi is Saved // Lumi, the Child of Eden by @piccadilly-blue

This card does a lot of really powerful stuff. Boardwiping, Drawing cards, Progenitus. Definitely feels like too much for six mana. And I’d love for that last chapter to be less wordy than it is. And then finally, I don’t love the massive symmetrical lifegain effect, it seems like it’s pretty board stally. (though admittedly, the 10/10 unblockable should help take that down).

Monster Hunting by @insect-glaive

Oh this is an extremely solid saga design. Slowly building up resources with the first few chapters, then something to use those resources with the last. The repeatable removal you get from chapters I-III is potentially risky, but i think the fact that it’s *fighting* specifically keeps it in check.

Nona’s Third Tantrum by @bread-into-toast

This is cool, but it feels odd that the indestructible and +2/+2 doesn’t last into the combat where your creature must be blocked. Would it be possible to switch the second and third chapters around maybe?

The Great Cow Race by @stupidstupidratcreatures

The rate on this is really unexciting. I think this could very safely be XWW, maybe even XW (though maybe would need the flash gone for that).

The 25th of May by @dimestoretajic

This is interesting. Fighting tends to work well with big creatures, while this tells you to take more of a token approach. But in this specific case, since all your creatures get the fight ability, you can kinda keep throwing creatures at something until it dies. I think +1/+1 counters might be better than vigilance counters though, for the second chapter, if that still works with the flavor. Mostly you’re gonna want to be doing that fighting before blockers to clear stuff away, so if you’re taking the “throw a bunch of small things at it” approach that this card suggests, the attacking isn’t gonna do them much good anyway. I think a +1/+1 counter is better in this case, cause it makes them slightly better fighters and I think it makes the card more interesting when you can fight some without a *guarantee* that your token’s gonna die.

the Watcher’s Crown by @batatafilosofal

Big scry or surveil numbers are generally best to shy away from; they can lead to decision paralysis, and just on its own this can give you surveil 6 when the absolute max we tend to see is 5 and even that’s rare. I don’t think the thoracle like bit is a problem; unlike thoracle, it’s not immediate, so your opponent has plenty of time to mess with your plans. I do think this is too cheap though; two clues a turn for several turns for 2 mana seems like it would outclass most other clue producers.

War of land and Sea by @opalosprey

Very evocative card, the flavor comes across very well. I have no idea what this is referencing, if it’s an event from an actual mythology or something from a book or whatever, but I don’t need to. You did a great job of telling a story through mechanics, and I quite like the mechanics. I like them a lot. I like the choose-the-order thing you’ve got going on with the first two abilities, and I like the whole conceit of the card and what it encourages you to do. I *do* think it’s odd that the tutor for lands ability comes after the first two chapters; seems like you’d want that to come first, as a set up, at least mechanically if not flavorfully. I also worry that the “have an equal number of mountains and islands” bit is potentially more of an annoying, book-keepy thing than it is an interesting challenge, where you have to make sure you don’t unthinkingly play a land drop that’ll mess it up, though hopefully the tutor ability helps you balance things out if you do. (But being able to tutor for any land might lead to more combo-y stuff. Maybe “basic land” or “land with basic land types”.) I do think the equal bit is necessary though, cause the draw a card payoff for islands is imo much stronger than the damage payoff for mountains, so the equal lands of each type encourages you to do both and not lean more on Islands. This is also odd as a three color card that includes green; it definitely feels like mechanically it wants to just be izzet for the sake of mountains and islands, but the last chapter is very much Not Izzet which presents an issue.

The Truman Show by @horsecrash

The necessary exile is a *little* bit annoying. Maybe this could be “you *may* exile that creature. If you do”, or at least “up to one target creature”. But also, it’s a pretty small deal I think; it’s easy enough to work around and even if you have no creature you’re willing to exile, worst comes to worst you just hold it back for a turn. I like the way chapters I and III feed into IV. Second chapter feels a little out of place, but im sure there’s a flavor reason for it, and it’s a pretty generic effect so it’s not harming the design by being on there. I like this.

The War of Shifting Sands // Scepter of the Shifting Sands by @greensunzenith

I can’t quite get a read on this card, on when it will be used. The phasing part especially. Honestly, the best use case a lot of the time might be making a bunch of elves and a dragon and ignoring the phasing thing entirely, which seems to not be how you want things to go. Even then though, giving your opponent so many insects kinda counteracts the advantages you get yourself; and you’re *definitely* not phasing out a dragon to get rid of a bug.

Reign of the Silver Millennium by @little-red-rabbit

Seems a bit board stally. The damage prevention thing means that you’re not gonna be attacking, so you should probably be developing your board, but then the last chapter punishes everyone for doing that. Very evocative of an age of peace, just not sure it plays well.

Weekend at Bernie’s by @just--a--penguin

Pretty solid lol, very fun flavor. I almost wish it said “can’t attack or block *alone*” so that you could get the image of one of your other creatures dragging the body around. I’m also curious about the entombing; it’s definitely the strongest and most consistent way of getting a creature into the yard. I think it might be too repetitive though, you’re probably always tutoring for the same creature with a valuable ETB or something. Might be more fun to just mill so you have to think on the fly a bit more about what creature is best to bring back.

Dragonsong War by @snugz

The last ability may need to be reworded closer to original Polukranos or something; as is it’s a bit unclear how it works. But that’s largely nitpicking. More significantly, I think this card is just way too strong. Creature removal, a very strong creature well worth 5 mana on its own, then a board wipe? That’s a lot. And the removal kind of competes with the board wipe.

Captain Marsh Takes the Oaths by @nine-effing-hells

Oh this is sweet. Prooobably too powerful? Hard to say, this is a difficult one to judge the power level of. Maybe two fish, two treasure, two cards, and then keeping the last chapter the same would be fine, unless the three is really important? But I’m not sure. Maybe three is fine. I just think it gives you a bit too much value. But it does take a good bit of investment to get that going. Hmm. Sorry I’m having trouble with this one; it’s very cool no matter the power level.

Async Opens the Backrooms by @misterstingyjack

There’s some tension here between playing and not playing your cards for the last effect, and I’m not sure how I feel about it, but it’s kind of dwarfed by how very strong this is. Two mana to draw up to two cards for several turns is extremely powerful.

The Stars are Right // Cthulu, Awoken Dreamer by @jsands84

Does a cthulu card really want a downside like that? I know it’s flavorful, but it’d probably be better to represent that moment on another card than on a cthulu card. Cthulu should be terrifying. I think I just want it to be… more. Especially since the first two chapters are kinda small. Good effects, just far from worth 5 mana.

Hell Comes to Mars by @helloijustreadyourpost

Interesting. The protection means the imps will never be able to block the slayer, and means they can easily pick the imps off in the fights granted by the last ability without taking any damage themself. Those imps aren’t long for this world. But it gets a good bit more interesting in multiplayer, which given the nature of UB products isn’t an unlikely place to see this. Probably, it’s too much power for its mana. The imps your opponents get are inconsequential enough given what i just talked about, so two 1/1 fliers plus a 5/5 menace for 4 mana is just too much; the downside doesn’t offset it enough here imo.

The Hardest Question by @hypexion

This last chapter is *scary*. It gets really out of hand. This would probably be plenty strong even without the cloning tap ability. With it this is just game winning.

Thank you all for participating! -@loreholdlesbian

[27-liter-horse]

11.10.24.

I cant exactly say today was a good day but it was VERYY enjoyable. First of, we had a physics detention and there was a literal ocean of kids who had to attend to the point some of us had to give up our seats to the other kids and just stand up for 45 minutes. I was one of the kids who had to stand. We had to write our names on a list because there were 3+ classes of kids and this one boy who I cant fucking stand in the slightest threatened to beat me up because I pushed him slightly because he wouldnt fucking move and I had to write down my name too. Which I would take seriously if he wasnt blessed with the looks of a gay porn actor (a bottom at that). He is shorter than me, has twink blue eyes, wears cheap off brand golden chains and has a dirty blonde buzzcut. If that wasnt enough my voice is deeper than his which is fucking hillarious. And him and another dude literally kissing one another on the cheek WITH THE DUDE RESTING HIS HAND ON THE TWINKS SHOULDER solidified my belief in him being a bottom. Also I confronted the girl who set me up and the way she was desperately trying to make me unblock her and then tell me that the harasser is 15 year old after I called him a pedophile...OKAY?? That doesnt make it okay. Also I had to lie that my cat scratched me after the same girl who set me up YELLED OUT LOUD that I have scars on my arm. Jesus Christ. Two classes later I bought the regular african monster because there werent any caucasian ones and while I was at the store there were two dudes next to me and they deadass commented ''Damn look at that chick'' and I swear to God this has been the third time I have been harrased this month and it hasnt evem been two weeks yet. I want to say I despise that kind of attention and I really do but it almost feel euphoric because of it. I feel like my identity is getting validated especially because I am not allowed to express my femininity as much as I want to. Becoming a metalhead has made me so much more secure and appreciable of my masculinity. I even plan on sewing metal band logos and album covers on my texas jacket. Also I keep the receipts and tabs so I can make a drawing using the receipts and a cool metal necklace with the tabs with a little nameplate with the tabs. While buying the monster I asked for cigarettes ''for my mom'' but the store clerk said I needed an adult with me for that purchase </3. I like the clerk he has this weird energy and look to him. He is this older dude with a gigantic forehead and receding hairline coupled with long greying brown hair, an anorexic face and ashtray blue eyes. He looks like if the word ''nicotine ashes'' was a person. However, this girl in my class told me she will buy cigarettes at her place for me and that I just have to give her the money. I requested Marlboro and I cant wait to give her the money in a couple days. It has been almost 2 months after I smoked for the first time. I got a C in anatomy and the teacher let the kids who got graded go home early so I bought a hot chocolate with the small amount of money I do have and that shit burned my tongue and mouth so bad that theyre still numb. My mother came home with my sister and they had a massive argument over some bullshit and I couldnt care less but seeing my mom so pissed off and my sister finally experiencing some form of a blow at her ego made my day that much better especially because all of this happened on a Friday. Also I have inspiration to write another song and this one is going to be heavily focused on cocaine (the closest to coke I've ever tried was pepsi) and its inspired by Sky Ferreira again. I really like Sky and her music, its the exact kind of teenage angst I long for in my life and I'm so excited to be making music like her someday.

[tolerateit]

MEG is started the new job today and im excited, the whole company seems very well organized which i really like

but and hour before that i had a whole panic induced adventure

because you see, i took my husbands name last year but i didnt change the banking info for my international account because of the old client invoices, in case its an issue

but today, i had to do that so i can submit payment info for this company

anyway, i submitted all my documentation to get in approved and hopped on the customer support chat to ask if it's gonna be an issue for the old invoices with my maiden name

i waited about an hour and in that time the documentation got all approved. i got an email about it and everything and so i opened to see the account. lo and behold, all my funds and cards were blocked. so i started panicking. aside from waiting my turn in the customer support chat queue, there was little else i could do. so i waited for another 40ish minutes. once i got through i told them i had another question but everything in my account was blocked which was a more pressing matter. and i asked when it would be unblocked. they told me my account was under mandatory review and would take a little bit so i had to wait. but upon asking how long i had to wait for, they couldn't tell me aside from "a little bit, please be patient"

so i googled it and found people complaining that their stuff got blocked on the same platform for MONTHS before finally GETTING THEIR ACCOUNTS DELETED WITH ALL THE MONEY IN THEM, THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ALL GONE

i started panicking more and kept asking the customer support employee for a benchmark timeline, and they finally relented and said it would take a few days before it's settled and id get an email for any next steps

i said thanks and hopped off the chat

and then i realized I HAD TWO HOURS UNTIL I START WORK AND NEED THE ACCOUNT INFO FOR THE CLIENT TO PAY ME

so i hopped on another customer support chat and explained that its kinda urgent and im having borderline panic attacks and finally i got a better answer: 24-48 hours

okay i could panic wait for 24-48 hours no problem

and then i thanked them for the help, logged off and started refreshing my email - nothing. i checked the account again just in case - AND EVERYTHING WAS FINE

holy hell

i love how fast they work and the quality of work but CMON so i sent another message telling them they should probably inform customers when encountering situations like this that the account gets blocked so they can manage expectations better

PHEW! i spent a couple of hours thinking i could never work again (this is the only payment service that actually works in my country)

BUT WE'RE FINE THANK GOD

YOU HAD ME STRESSING FOR A SECOND THERE dkdkdjdjd I'm glad everything worked out!!! And woot what an adventurous first day hahaha, I'm sure everything that follows will be breezy and smooth going now!!

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1110 review

This is a chapter that doesn't disappoint. Things are really heating up as we hit the tenth chapter of volume 109 with Egghead's likely final end-of-volume cliffhanger to come in the next chapter or two.

But we start out with a new cover story, and yeah, it's Yamato following Oden's tour of Wano, which is probably the least exciting thing going on this week. However with the last cover story having such a large and immediate connection to the current story, I'm going in with an open mind and considering my hopes. Seeing some of the stuff that got shortchanged in Wano's clipped epilogue would be cool, like Ryuma's grave for example, or passing by Izo's tomb and seeing Kiku visiting. Perhaps a more direct confonrtation of the public's feelings about Tama's Kurozumi heritage. That one might be hard in the pantomime format of a cover story, but you never know. It's going to be a few installments before there's enough info to make any real prediction about the story's trajectory though, we know they never quite stay the course they seem to start on.

Getting back into it, Oda spends a couple of pages building into the big reveals. We also get a timeline update, with 3 minutes down already, which is a brisk pace as Shonen countdowns go. The summoning circles definitely seem closer together and like they're placed in a more rubble-strewn environment than in the final spread of the last chapter, enough to ease my concerns about the space shifting slightly.

And the monster designs that come out when the shadows are pulled back are truly awe inspiring. I don't know a lot of yokai or much about any of them (could tell you a little bit about classic sandworms though), but these are easy 10/10 beasts with all of Oda's best character design ideas on full display. When One Piece ends and he inevitably gets restless after his well-earned break Oda should absolutely do the Toriyama (RIP) thing and design monsters for games. What do you even say to a pair of pages like this? I can't stop looking back to them.

And these guys are made to feel like a threat too. None of them speak in the whole chapter; similar to Saturn's original rampage it makes them feel all the more inhuman. (Saturn did speak when he confirmed the summons in the last chapter, so we know they can but you still get the same effect from how sparse their dialogue is.) They spring immediately into action with no apparent coordination or communication between each other, and they go straight for their goals. There's no posturing or speeches or taking test shots at Luffy to measure his power. Nasjuro is off and running already, cutting down Pacifistas to unblock the Buster Call fleet, solving problems for the bad guys. Mars takes a shot at the barrier, and even though it doesn't work you know he's going to be there the moment it goes down for real. And Ju Peter and Saturn go straight for Luffy. They really don't feel like playtime villains, which is exactly what you need at this late stage of the story.

The absence of Warcury is curious though. Is he also fighting Luffy, or is he going for something else? Charging towards Bonney perhaps?

But what are they? The fact that the odaboxes simply give creature names without specifying a Devil Fruit type is super suspicious. Nasjuro's ice powers mirror Brook's abilities (which allegedly come from having returned from death, rather than being directly a feature of his fruit), which could maybe suggest that he as well has returned from some kind of underworld.

I'm not ready to totally rule out it being a misdirect and them having Devil Fruits of a matched kind, but the weird details are adding up.

Speaking of weird details, I can't quite tell if it's weird scaling/camera angles or not, but it almost seems like Lucci knocks Enma away from Zoro only for it to boomerang back to his hand. I'm not crazy, right, other people are seeing this? At a glance you think maybe it goes up and he catches it as it comes down, but that flight path is curved in every panel. So what, did Zoro just get lucky with the amount of spin, or is there some strange new property of Enma's power/contained Haki being shown here. Or something to do with Zoro's close grim reaper encounter? Stick a pin in this one I think we'll be coming back to it later.

I'm ambivalent about the Zoro and Lucci fight as a whole. The outcome was never in doubt, and it was too offscreen to provide any real character interaction or clash of ideology to add substance. Zoro snapping and finding the motivation to take the win right away when Sanji talks him down is a decent bit for the two of them, but it's not quite enough to make the whole fight feel like more than padding.

Truly, if Lucci had been handcuffed properly after the death game portion and never made his breakout attempt, I don't think the arc would have played out any differently. Even the silly anticlimax of the sliding ship serves the purpose of justifying the Sunny getting from A to B over dry land, but Lucci? Was taking Stussy off the table that important? Was it the only way to make it believable that Zoro wouldn't follow Sanji and Vegapunk down to the Labophase and get involved with the Elders too soon? I'm having a hard time seeing it, but the arc isn't over yet.

The final spread is a fantastic callback and great hype-builder for the next chapter. And I think it's going to prove just how far the Elders' regeneration is able to go. The Elders aren't going down here, definitely not, but with Dorry and Brogy there might just be enough muscle on Luffy's side to hold them back until the broadcast goes ahead.

We're getting colour pages next week, and I have to wonder if an Akira Toriyama tribute is coming. Jump has to do it, there's no way they won't, but the gap between when the pages are finalised and when we see them, and the break between when Toriyama died and when it was announced to the public makes it all kinds of tough to figure out the earliest that could happen. I could definitely see Oda pivoting last minute and trading out a finished colour spread to something in honour of Toriyama, but the timing is tight. We'll see soon, I suppose. May the hits keep on coming for the Egghead finale!

You can also read on my Wordpress!

[uncleasad]

This was written from notes jotted on or about January 15.

It had been a week or so since I watched Episode 7, and it felt like a chasm had developed between then and now—a chasm also reflected on screen, between Emily and Edward, as well as a minor one between Emily mère and Edward, as he prepares to abandon her for Congress—at Christmas!

At the beginning, the rift between Emily and Sue also remains, although perhaps it is beginning to mend. We see Sue’s jealousy of Emily’s friendship/flirting with Ben, which is a fun mirror to Emily’s mild resentment of Sue’s relationship with Austin in the early days of the season. Finally, though, there appears to be a rapprochementbetween the BFFs when they have an honest talk and Sue confesses how she was taking Emily’s presence, always being there when she wanted or needed her, for granted.

Until then, though, Ben is Emily’s lifeline, and she decides single-handedly to “rescue” her mother’s cancelled Christmas Dinner—the insanity of it all, just to impress Ben. Emily, the anti-housewife, goes full-on housewife in this episode, and it is both hilarious—but also impressive to see how much she has absorbed of “the woman’s role” to (mostly—with the help of others, including Sue) pull it all off.

(When Emily was forced to confess to Lavinia that Ben was not really married, the youngest Dickinson’s excitement was palpable—whether that was actually happiness for Emily, or more for her own progress towards matrimony potentially being unblocked, we don’t know.)

As for Sue and Austin, I’m still not sure whether he loves Sue or only the idea of Sue, but it felt in that moment that he did hear her. (Such a terrible fear to have carried her whole life—and another reminder that these events of nearly two centuries ago are not so far removed from today, as here in Georgia we are near the bottom—40-something-th—in maternal mortality, even though our governor would rather ignore that uncomfortable truth. Or, as so many cases post-Dobbs have shown, the men in power have codified the idea that the mother should die so that the child can be born. In large swaths of this country, we have returned to the horrors of two hundred years ago.)

The relationship between Edward and Emily continues to be one of the most interesting ones in the series. Despite his gruff, man-of-the-era attitude and views, Edward seems almost desperate for Emily’s good graces. We’re 80% of the way through the season, and the series has yet to try to explain why he is this way—he does not have the same need with his wife or his other daughter, and I would guess not Austin, either.  So here he is still bending over backwards to please—or at least appease—Emily with the Christmas present of the conservatory, her very own greenhouse attached to the house so she might grow plants and flowers year-round. However, Emily’s vision, of her trapped in the conservatory, trapped in her father’s house, makes me wonder how Emily really feels? Especially after her conversation with her mother, who is so proud of how Emily stepped up and showed she could take care of the family life, and then “grants” Emily’s wish not to need to be married…which suddenly becomes a prison.

Ben’s illness is strong foreshadowing on its own, and then very much on the nose with Death’s carriage as Emily walks home alone. (Aside: I really loved that red-and-blue combination on Emily in that scene, the red dress, red scarf, red lips, complemented with the blue coat, and against the stark white of the Christmas snow.)