#it's really exciting to finally have that unblocked

[isitovernow-ootw]

wip of a gif I'm working on! all the actual animated parts are really rough but i really like how it's coming along

(its with christian lee hutson lyrics if anybody recognizes it)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Sick II

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You get sick again

Magda wakes up slowly.

She's not sure why she's waking up. Her alarm isn't going off. She doesn't need the toilet. The sun's still down so there's not any light coming through the curtains to either.

But, somehow, Magda's being ripped from her relaxing sleep.

She blinks awake blearily, already cursing in her head because there's an away match today and she really doesn't need to be awake earlier than she needs to.

There's a firm shove to her shoulder and Magda finally opens her eyes fully.

"Princesse?" Magda asks, rubbing her eyes," What's wrong? It's early."

"Sniffles, Morsa," You say. Your voice is all nasally and your face is bright red and practically dripping in sweat. You sniff as if to accentuate your point and wipe your snot away using Magda's pyjama top.

"You've got the sniffles?" Magda asks, still trying to wake up.

You nod miserably and Magda digs around in her bedside table for tissues to blow your nose out in.

She flicks the bedside lamp on to study you properly. It's probably a bit more than just the sniffles but Magda doesn't really want to tell you that.

It's awful timing really. You've got to get on a coach to Birmingham in a few hours and there's no way Magda can arrange childcare on such short notice or bow out of today's match either.

"Alright, Princesse," Magda says," Let's go into the bathroom and sort out your nose."

Magda turns the shower on and shuts the door, hopping that the steam will unblock your nose enough that it won't bother you on the trip up north.

Pernille wakes up soon after, helping to get you dressed and fed and drugs you up with kid's medicine to make the drive more bearable.

"Jessie!" You slur, nose still stuffed and head beginning to pound. It doesn't diminish your excitement though as you make Jessie lift you up and curl into her body.

Jessie frowns a little at the heat you're emanating, turning to look at Magda and Pernille with a question in her eyes.

"She's got a bit of a cold," Pernille says," I can take her if you want. There's no need for you to get sick too."

"I can take her," Jessie assures her quickly, adjusting her grip on you," Sick or not, we've got a nap scheduled."

"Jessie naps really good," You say through your stuffy nose, sniffling and wiping it with your shirt.

"Jessie's got a nap talent?" Morsa teases," Alright then. You nap with Jessie but if you feel bad, you have to come and tell me and Momma, alright?"

"Okay."

It's routine for away games for you to sit with Jessie on the bus. She carries a blanket with her now and you completely crash out against her collarbone as she wraps you up and holds you nice and tight like you enjoy.

Usually, you're out the moment the bus starts moving. But, because of your stuffy nose and the throbbing in your head, you can't seem to settle.

You whine and even that comes out nasally. You shift in Jessie's arms. Tears prick in your eyes.

You're very tired. You woke up this morning very early because it was difficult to breathe through the stuffiness in your nose. You'd tossed and turned in bed for a while before finally going to wake up Morsa.

It's a similar thing now as you shift in Jessie's grip.

"It's okay," She says and her cold hands slip under your shirt. Her fingers feel good on your feverish skin and they draw absentminded patterns on your back.

You sigh softly against Jessie's neck.

Her motions are soft and repetitive and the temperature is just what you need.

Pernille peers behind her an hour into the journey, stopping what she was saying to Magda to look back at you and Jessie.

You still look a little flushed from where you're tucked in Jessie's neck but you look content. Jessie's neck is tilted at an awkward angle as her head rests on yours. Her arms are curled around you tightly and she doesn't seem to mind that your drippy nose is pressed up against her shirt.

Pernille takes a picture.

"That one's going in the album," She says to Magda as she turns back around," They're sweet."

"We should probably dose her up before we play," Magda says," We're both starting today and Jessie. Are we leaving her on the bench?"

"We'll have to," Pernille replies," She's not going to be doing any assistant coaching, that's for sure. Zećira is on the bench today. I'm sure she'll look after her."

You stay with Jessie all the way up to the start of the match. You're happy curled into her and don't even put up a fight when Momma and Morsa make you have more medicine.

It helps your headache but not really your stuffy nose so when you're handed off to Zećira, the first thing she does is make you blow it out into a tissue.

"What's that?" You ask as you sit on the bench with her and she brings out a little tub.

"This is Vicks," Zećira says as she lifts up the back of your shirt," It's a vaporub. It's going to help your breathing."

It's nice to know that Zećira's noticed that you're breathing is different. You have to breathe through your mouth now because your nose is all stuffy so it can't get a lot of air through it anymore.

Zećira lathers the weird smelling stuff all over your back and then turns you to put it on your chest too.

It's quite an overpowering smell but it's helping your breath easier so you'll allow it.

"Zećira," You say," When I'm older, will I stop getting sick?"

Zećira laughs a little. You're sitting between her legs as she pulls your hair back so it's out of your face properly. "Sorry," She says," But even adults get sick sometimes."

You shake your head then abruptly stop when it throbs in response. "No," You say," 'Cause I've never seen Momma and Morsa sick."

"They get sick," Zećira assures you," They just hide it better and they take medicine too."

You make a face. "Medicine is yucky."

Zećira jostles you as she chuckles and you turn to look at her. "It is," She agrees," But sometimes we have to take it to feel better."

"Being sick is yucky too."

"Yeah, it is," Zećira agrees again," But it's nothing that a good night's sleep won't fix."

You don't really believe her and make a face.

Zećira is still laughing and she leans closer to whisper in your ear," I'm sure your mums will let you sleep in the big bed if you beg hard enough."

You perk up at that. "Really?"

She nods. "Really."

You grin.

You love sleeping in the Big Bed.

[wontheworld]

can we talk? | 31

"Hey, Sunghoon," Yn whispered as the camera turned off.

He turned around quickly. "Yes?" he answered.

"I want to talk to you," she spoke. "Can you meet me at that park around 10?" she questioned, looking away as she spoke to him.

He smiled before nodding. "Yeah, sure, I'm down," he said. She nodded before going to her room, but he stopped her with his words. "I'm sorry, Yn," he spoke.

She turned around and furrowed her eyebrows. "What's there to be sorry about?" she questioned.

He shrugged. "I... We... Just ignore me. I'll see you at ten," he spoke, going to his room, leaving her confused before going into hers.

🧸.

"Someone looks excited!" Yuri spoke, coming into the bathroom behind the girl.

Yn nodded, fixing her eyeliner. "Finally speaking to him. It's been like a couple of weeks, and then I was gone for those five days. Feels nice to know I'm going to speak to him again," she replied to Yuri.

Yuri hummed. "I'm proud of you, Yn. Please, please, please don't get caught! I'll be damned if you do. All of this could be put down the drain," Yuri said as Yn nodded.

"I promise not to get caught. I have this mask," she spoke, pulling out a black mask from her back pocket. "And this puffer jacket will eat up, don't play," she giggled.

Yuri smiled, about to say something before Yunjin walked in. "Yn babe, your Uber is outside! Go quick before Manager Kim comes back!" She smacked Yn's butt.

Yn laughed. "I'll see you guys later!" she smiled, leaving the bathroom and going to put her shoes on before heading out the door.

🧸.

She sat on the bench, listening to music and waiting for him to come.

"Sorry, I'm a little late. I helped Jay clean up. That's besides the point. What did you want to talk about?" he suddenly spoke, scaring her a bit.

She grinned. "It's alright. I, uh, I need to say a few things," she said.

He nodded slowly. "Okayyyyyy," he dragged out.

She sighed heavily. "I apologize for those weeks I ignored you and shit. I didn't even want to do it, but my manager told me to do it, and I listened to her for some reason, even though it was hurting myself. I was being selfish, talking about saving my career, but that was just bullshit. And when you confessed to me that one day, I felt terrible for not answering you because I like you too. I like you a lot more than you could imagine and--"

She was cut off by a pair of lips connecting to hers. She was surprised but still kissed him back anyway.

He pulled away, grinning. "All those words you're wasting time. We could've been making out by now," he joked.

Even though it was dark outside, he could still see her face turn really red.

"You're getting red. I'm sorry I disturbed your yapping. You can continue," Sunghoon grinned.

She looked at him before leaning in for another kiss, which he gladly accepted, making her smile into the kiss before pulling away.

"I was expecting to apologize, not to kiss," she laughed. He laughed too.

"Well, basically, you got both! And you can finally unblock me, please!" he said, making her laugh even more.

She hummed. "I will, I will," she cheesed.

"What does this make us?" he questioned.

"Let's take it slow. We don't need girlfriend and boyfriend titles that fast, Romeo," she spoke.

He nodded. "I like it. Looks like I'll annoy you 10 times more!" he exclaimed as she rolled her eyes at him playfully.

prev behind the scenes next

Taglist: @deobitifull @hoonstxr @seulgipage @purennn @haechansbbg @minetaphobe @badasgirlfriend @seunnimg @hyuzaa @ttylxox2 @ariadores @nyfwyeonjun @who-tf-soddhi @nqvgue @mikus-bakery @luvlyniya @akuspic @nxzz-skz @minhosprettywife @chillychuu @bee-the-loser @baevsxii

[annaraebananawriter]

It’s with this that the mood in the room finally turns serious, a chill crawling up his spine as his eyes lock with Ink’s. He swallows. “I think your theory’s the same as mine.” Ink nods. Dream completes the thought for them both, speaking the name they’ve avoided ever since they locked it away: “HATE.” The name echoes in the room, the chill in his spine turning into a full shudder as the name settles around them, pressing down on their shoulders as if someone else was watching them. It wasn’t possible—they were the only ones left in the room—but still. It felt like someone was listening, and each of them stayed silent as they thought about what this meant.

CHAPTER FOUR IS LIVE!!!

*looks at the amount of time between this update and the last one* ...you knows what? Let's all ignore that. I'm back now, hopefully for good, so it doesn't really matter. Besides, it's not like I didn't warn you already that my updates are inconsistent. Even if I still didn't mean more than a year's wait...

I got blocked a bit on how to progress the story. And then some of it unblocked, but the other half--the one that I needed to figure out, still remained blocked and it wasn't until recently (this week) that I managed to figure it out. There's still a few things I'm unhappy with, but I've decided to just get the chapter over and done with, which is why you're getting it now. I still have to rework the next few chapters, but that should be easier given the future stuff I've figured out. Heck, I've even started writing one of the future chapters, and I hope to continue along like that if I don't know what to do with the sooner ones.

So, don't expect another chapter too soon. Maybe next month. Who knows.

But! As I said, I am back now! With a lovely chapter that lets us take a peek at the other side of things!

I'm really excited to hear your thoughts/theories on what's going on! Be sure to let be know what you think in the comments.

Happy reading!

[heliza24]

@bluedalahorse and I are currently in the process of really preparing ourselves for season 3 of Young Royals! Blue and I will watch eps 1-5 together, and then @sillyunicorn will be in town on finale day so all three of us will get to watch together! So fun.

In preparation we have done a rewatch and also I have decorated my living room to create the Perfect Hillerska atmosphere 😂

In order to live up to the ideals of my sign and not get caught up in any drama that might surround plot points in the new season, I am going to be blocking the Young Royals tag on here starting tomorrow. The goal is to enjoy the season and have time to come to our own thoughts and conclusions about it before I get influenced by what other people are saying. That’s how I watched seasons 1 and 2, just Blue and I. And I’m excited to have that experience again. I’ll probably unblock the tag/post some of my own thoughts later in March.

If anyone wants to say hi via message during that time though feel free!

I wish you all a happy season 3 💜

[twotangledsisters]

You’re awesome for posting fic updates not only consistently, but daily! Any tips for keeping up with writing?

Thank you so much! I love updates and writing being a part of my routine and I'm glad other people enjoy it too!

And sure, I can think of some tips:

First, there's a mixture of inspiration and forcefulness. I remember when I was really little I read a post somewhere about how if you want to take something seriously, you have to take it seriously on the days when you're inspired and on the days you're not. That changed how I treat art forever!

But years and years later I learnt a more important lesson, to never overlook the power of inspiration.

It's through a mixture of both that I can really keep up with writing. If I only wrote when inspired, sooner or later I'd get a loooong writing block that would leave me simply paralysed. But I'll often do the 'just one chapter' method, and often writing just a few paragraphs will get me back into the flow. But if I'm still very blocked after a chapter, that's fine.

But if I am inspired, I will follow that. Even if it takes my story in weird directions that weren't planned! A good example is that Caine rescuing Cass in the final S1 fic wasn't planned, she wasn't planned to come along in S2 and certainly did not expect her to fall in love... A lot of their scenes came from me writing while inspired.

Now, stuff such as Eugene's near death in S1 finale, the way Koto framed him, the way Cass had to deal with accusations of witchcraft, those stuff were planned way ahead of time!

It's really important to keep that balance, to have plans and also leave room for inspiration to run wild!

An added bonus, if you feel an intense desire to go write a fic that's completely different to the one you're trying to work on, just let inspiration win. I was struggling a bit with the 'Day of Animals' arc in tangled sisters the other day, then I got the urge to do a little Cass oneshot, so I wrote the oneshot in one sitting and have had zero issues writing since.

Sometimes you can unblock writing block with MORE writing! As long as you're letting inspiration guide you.

Second is to take breaks! I update every day but I do not write every day. I write a few times a week and usually have at least one really long session!

One of my currently updating fics 'Always By Your Side' I wrote half of it in like a week, took a few months break, then wrote the rest and started publishing!

Sometimes long breaks can really help. I've taken several long breaks with Tangled Sisters.

Third is stay ahead. With 'Always By Your Side' I have it completely written so I just proof read on the day of upload. Tangled Sisters I keep track of in Notion:

Look how cute my fanfic section is!

I'm usually at least 30 chapters ahead but I did take a writing break recently. Soon as I get the next arc done I expect to be well ahead again.

Fourth, motivation! This one isn't entirely your control, but a huge factor for keeping up is just that I'm super motivated! I can thank the amazing people who comment every day, those who comment occasionally, those who leave kudos or send nice asks like this one!

It does sooo much to make me smile and excited for the stories I'm telling.

And if you look at my fanfic section of notion, I have that little box titled kind words, the content actually changed every time I reload the page, it's linked to a little table where I keep track of all the kind words regarding my fics that I've gotten on Ao3 and tumblr! (I also have several bits of fanart by the amazing @rebecagpfs in that page who I cannot thank enough!!!)

So, although you don't have full control over motivation, having a notebook to collect those kind words can help!

Fifth would be talk to people. Have at least one person who's cool with spoilers cause brainstorming is just easier with somebody else! For me @the-writer1988 has got me through sooo many writer's blocks! Often times I just ramble at her until the problem resolves itself, other times it'd be a more active back and forth. But writing friends supporting each other, always great!

And hey, to anybody who wants to ramble about their fics to me I'm always open! I love hearing about people's fics and am huge on the writer supporting writers sorta mentality!

Sixth is just have fun! If you enjoy what you're writing it's going to be sooo much easier than if you don't.

I do want to point out though, every writer's different! I can sit down and write 10k words in one sitting, but a lot of people can't, just like I need five hour to do a drawing many artists can do in an hour.

Writing is an art and you get faster with experience.

Also, I do daily updates because I adore consistency! Having that routine is amazing for me and I think it's lovely for some readers. But I also accomplish that via very short chapters! Sometimes as short as just 600-700 words. Many authors opt for longer chapters that upload weekly but there still writing the same amount!

So yeah, I do hope this helped!

Thank you so much for the ask :D And if anything didn't make sense, please tell me, it's almost 1am here I just noticed but I really wanted to answer this before bed!

[hinamie]

I was so excited for going to dinosaur town today that I forgot it was jjk Sunday and remembered I would finally be able to unblock the leak/spoiler tags and check for any new art from you. So thanks for reminding me to actually read jjk today.

And thanks for doing the time skip piece so much. I loved and and I love they give the vibes of having grown up and relaxed into who they are, hopefully that makes sense

the way my face lit up at the concept of dinosaur town fgsdhjfgjd that sounds so fucking fun i don't blame you for forgetting about leaks :'> last weeks chapter was boring to put it kindly so i didn't rly do anything for it unfortunately but as always i'm happy that u anticipate my art :'>>>

and YEAH once i got the faces down i actually ended up really liking the timeskip piece and i'm very grateful tht others seem to like it too <333 ty again fr requesting it :')

[here2bbtstrash]

alright besties~*~ i feel i owe you an update so let's strap in, shall we?

TLDR: the final chapter of LDOMLT is not gonna be ready by 1/31. i don't know when it will be done, but i do know that i want to take my time with it and not force it. this means you're going to see me post other writing before i post chapter 11. if that makes you sad, i'm sorry (and also: me too lol). LDOMLT is not dead, it's not cancelled, it's not even on hiatus. i just can't say when the last chapter will be posted right now. once i feel like i can commit to a date, i will shout it from the damn rooftops lmao. but right now, i need to switch gears.

i hope you can understand or at the very least respect this choice, and please know that i love you all so so much. i just wanna give you the best ending possible, and as it turns out, that shit takes time!

longer version under the cut 💜

siiiiiiigh. i didn't want to have to make this post 😭 but y'all, i am really, really blocked. i kept telling myself that i would figure it out, magically get unblocked (it's happened before!) and be able to meet my 1/31 date (or if not 1/31, then at least 2/5...... hello grammys 👀). but right now neither date seems like a possibility, if i'm honest with myself. in part because i've got a whole stew of personal life shit going on as well! (some of it not so good, and some of it ..... very good lol 😏)

and the way i've been spinning my wheels over this is starting to feel unproductive and honestly, not great for my mental health (i **cried** last night because i was so frustrated that i couldn't make words happen. we'll blame that one on my period but 😩 omg! tears!!!)

so... what do i do? well, i actually feel like playing that ask game the other day made me realize: i need to write other things right now. amazing how the moment i put down this chapter 11 draft, ideas and words just flew out of my brain so easily!! and i have all these other wips i'm dying to get to, but i kept telling myself "not until we finish chapter 11", and i think that's gotten me into a bit of a mental bind 😞

so, as previously hinted at in past posts - i am gonna move forward with ~*~jihope month~*~ in february and allow myself to work on other things 💜 i'll make a separate announcement for that soon, but i'm very excited to dedicate a whole month to writing and reading about my two best boys 😩 and i'll be taking drabble requests too, which i think is gonna help me find my footing again creatively ✨

i know it might be disappointing to see me post writing that isn't LDOMLT chapter 11, so let me preemptively say: i get it 😞 and i'm sorry 😞 and i really really REALLY 👹 also wanted this chapter to be out before february. but the muse has other plans! and i just have to make peace with that even if i hate it lmao. i hope you all can understand where i'm coming from, and if you can't understand it, i hope you can at the very least respect it 💜

to be clear: i'm not gonna stop work on this chapter, but i'm also not gonna force it. if i manage to unblock and get it finished in february, i'll post it in february! (sorry to jimin and hobi lmao) but i don't want to try and hold myself to yet another date only to watch it zoom by with my chapter still unfinished, because that shit is depressing lmao. so right now, i cannot give you any kind of timeline on when ch11 will come. only that it will, and that i'm never ever gonna give up!! 💪

i also hope you can understand that i won't be answering asks about when chapter 11 is coming, and imma be swift with the block button if anyone tries to guilt me about this decision 💜 because i love y'all endlessly, but let us not forget that i do this shit for free, on top of a full-time job and the rest of my life (and now also on top of getting laid irl 🎉)

however, i have no doubt that 99.9% of y'all are going to be nothing but kind and supportive about this 🥺🥺🥺 i've already gotten so many lovely asks and comments and messages (not all of which i've replied to 💀) and i will never find the proper words to tell you how much i appreciate them. when you tell me to take my time and not stress, that you'll wait as long as it takes, that you want me to rest and take care of myself. it means so much and idk what i did to deserve such wonderful people and friends reading my work - all i can say is thank you thank you thank you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

so yeah 😩 not the announcement i wanted to make, but it's the one i have to make right now. writing is so hard sometimes 😭 but i am determined to give this series an ending that i'm proud of and satisfied with! it just needs a little more time to get there. 💜

[fridayyy-13th]

sooo i hear you finished malevolent

indeed i did!! holy shit!!! it was amazing! and now i can finally unblock the “Malevolent spoilers” tag!

various thoughts (i have many but here’s a handful):

listening to the first episode, after John asked Arthur to look in the mirror and said he had the demeanor of someone not to be fucked with, i thought “…i’m sorry but no. this man is a sad wet cat. get him a warm blanket”

speaking of part 1, i was listening to it in the backseat of a car with headphones in so that was a game of turning up the volume to hear dialogue over the road sounds and turning it down to not demolish my eardrums when John shouted

by the time i was wrapping up part 4, i started to wonder if “John Doe” was a name the fandom made up for him, but when he explained to Arthur that he really liked the name and wanted to be called that…my heart absolutely melted. can you tell John’s my favorite? he’s my favorite :)

the one bit where Arthur is asked questions directly tied to everything that had happened since being bound with John? fucking impeccable. i would’ve said “ohh shit” aloud if i weren’t in public at the time

at some point i saw a post about someone taking an empty wrapping paper tube and mimicking John’s “Arthur!”

i tried it

it very much worked

i was promptly ecstatic due to this revalation. the tube wasn’t empty but it still worked great lol

speaking of John’s “Arthur!,” the way his tone shifted from part 1 vs part 28 still makes me emotional. holy shit

Kayne! what a guy. motherfucker. i had glimpsed some fanart of him eating popcorn or something before reaching part 28 so when i heard crunching in the background of That Part i was just like “ah. that’s why. Goddammit.” he’s a lot of fun and i like him a lot

ough hearing Yellow alongside Larson. Fear. excitement for what that means for the story, but also Fear.

during my binge i was working on a lego set i got for Christmas, of the house from Home Alone, and i legitimately nearly cried while hunched over that lego set when Arthur played Faroe’s Song right before John came back

and speaking of John coming back! Kayne said he had some sort of ulterior motive! what the heck! i haven’t seen much in the way of theories yet but John’s slip-up about being gone for a long time, i definitely don’t think he’s telling the truth. that said, i don’t think he wants to hurt Arthur in any way. especially considering he was trying his damndest to save him during that entire conversation

the piano strings guy. holy shit. what was he called? the butcher? absolutely terrifying, and now he’s coming after John and Arthur. fun!

the dynamic between Arthur and John is incredible. not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (*vague gesture in their direction that does not explain what the third thing is*). they’re just Them. not to mention i nearly cried over the fact that before John named himself, when he and Arthur still didn’t like each other, Arthur still took to calling him “friend.” i’m shaking them like a pair of glowsticks.

absolutely cannot wait for part 29. i’m so excited to see where this story goes.

[theunwellkingdom]

Design Deep-Dive #10: From Concept to Card

Iteration is crucial to good design. Your first ideas are rarely your best, and especially when designing an entire set of cards, it's impossible to know exactly how everything will interact until you actually sit down and play with it. One of the clearest examples of this is the card Mesmir's Betrayal, which required a drastic overhaul to find its niche!

Let's take a look at how this card went from rough concept, to one of the most exciting cards in the set!

1. Concept

Mesmir's Betrayal is a top-down design, meaning I started from the theming and flavor and had to build mechanics to fit (as opposed to bottom-up design, where the mechanical effects come first and narrative theming is decided later). In this case, I knew three things:

Mesmir was a powerful NPC wizard who betrayed our heroes at the end of a pivotal arc.

I'd already drawn art of this story beat that would be perfect for a card.

In this set, Red and Blue are all about Wizards, so this card should be a big, flashy payoff in those colors! Ideally, if you're playing lots of Wizards, this card should be able to close out the game.

2. First Draft

After a bit of thought, this was the first version of the card I printed out:

{2}🔥 Instant Rare

Until end of turn, target Wizard gains +3/+0, first strike, trample, and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a creature, exile that creature."

Cycling 💧 (💧, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

I really wanted to lean into the idea of a Wizard turning around and becoming a lethal threat! So this first draft operated as a combat trick that gives a scary stack of keywords a la Kaldra Compleat.

However, the way it's written, it would do absolutely nothing without a Wizard already in play. I decided this would be a good opportunity to split the Red and Blue identities of the card into two modal effects -- you could spend 🔥 for the aggressive combat trick, and 💧 to simply cycle the card away and draw a new one, if the situation didn't line up. It didn't feel like a perfect compromise, but it was good enough for the testing phase.

3. Playtesting

After several playtests, I began to realize that this card didn't operate the way I'd hoped. Frankly, it didn't operate at all -- even in tests where players had access to the card and were playing lots of Wizards in their deck, this card just wasn't making the cut. Instead, I focused on what was working with those decks, to see why this didn't fit into the gameplan and came away with several insights:

A combat trick feels useless to a non-combat-focused deck. The Izzet Wizards archetype wants to sling spells, not rely on pushing damage through combat. While it's important for those decks to have Wizards on board, their main role is to enhance other instants and sorceries, and to provide good targets for Concentration auras.

The buff feels unnecessarily complex. All those stats and keywords can be difficult to parse and make the card easier to dismiss. It feels flashy and scary, which is great, but it might as well read "Target Wizard gets +3/+0 and unblockable."

The card feels small. Making this card a 3-drop doesn't give it the impression of a big finisher. As flashy as the buff is, it doesn't feel like an effect that's likely to end the game on the spot.

It ignores too many Blue subthemes. Blue decks in this set have a lot of support for completely different angles, especially hand and library manipulation. If this card could hook into those synergies somehow, it might be more attractive to players.

It's not really "betraying" anything. Sure, making a Wizard suddenly good at combat does a decent job of conveying Mesmir's sudden heel-turn, but it doesn't quite capture the scope of our story: a man throwing his entire community into ruin for a chance at personal gain, a desperate but calculated final gambit!

With all this in mind, I was ready to push Mesmir's Betrayal to the next level...

4. Iteration

{4}🔥🔥 Sorcery 198/275 Rare

Mesmir's Betrayal deals 2 damage to any target. Wizardstorm (When you cast this spell, exile any number of target Wizards you control and/or Wizard cards from your hand. Copy this spell for each Wizard exiled this way. You may choose new targets for the copies.) Wizardcycling {1}💧 ({1}💧, Discard this card: Search your library for a Wizard card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Deal 2 damage. Wizardstorm. Wizardcycling.

Now we're talking.

It's risky to commit an entire brand-new keyword for this single card, but I just couldn't pass up the chance to play on the infamous Storm mechanic of MtG past! Instead of copying the spell for each other card played this turn, Mesmir's Betrayal lets you trade off your Wizards for damage, either decimating your own board or cashing out your hand to potentially reach lethal levels of burn!

Wizardstorm also provides an extremely satisfying mirror for the Wizardcycling mode of the card. This technically isn't a new mechanic, thanks to the cheeky and experimental Future Sight era. But it's certainly a deep cut that fits the flavor of the card and makes the card way more interesting in the early game, if you're having trouble drawing your Wizards or before you're ready to go all in on the burn plan.

It also allowed me to design a fun nod to Mesmir himself, by giving the creature version of his card an ETB that shuffles some spells back into your library. So you can Wizardcycle to find Mesmir, and then play him to let your opponent know... his Betrayal could be just around the corner! But that's a Card Showcase for another day.

5. Lather, Rinse, Repeat...

In all, the revised version of this card is a massive improvement in every aspect, and it's already been used to great success in a playtest with its new text! Most importantly, the Izzet Spellslinger archetype, which has underperformed so far compared to more creature-combat strategies, finally has a proper build-around card to pull players into those colors in a draft!

But of course, I'll keep testing it to make sure it's right in that sweet spot. The key to iteration, after all, is to keep iterating.

[inventors-fair]

Sagas Beyond Commentary

Hello! Here is the commentary for the universes beyond saga contest. Lot of really good ones this week, and a lot a lot of cool ideas all around.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by @wolkemesser

I like how the last ability encourages them to give you something stronger with the first two. I’m not sure it’s *enough* to encourage it, but it might be, and it’s definitely an interesting choice. I just think this is too strong though. 4 mana, even in three colors, is really good for a double reanimate, and this does a lot more than that as well.

Witches’ Prophecy by @halfsilveredmirror

I am *fascinated* by the tech you used here, I think this is really cool, but I think you went too all-in on flavor and the card suffers for it. The conditions are just too hyperspecific imo; too all in on flavor at the cost of gameplay. Maybe “land creature” and “nontoken, nonland creature that wasn’t cast”. Even that’s pretty specific but at least a bit more doable; i can at least picture a set that might be able to reasonably make those both doable enough.

The Lode Poneglyphe by @eveydeevey

The final chapter here seems rather disappointing. I can’t think of many times I’d want a land on turn what, 9? Maybe something like nykthos, but still. Is there something else you could change the last chapter to? I’d also be careful with stuff like the first chapter, like where if your opponent has no boardstate you’re forced to make your own creatures fight, but if you don’t have good targets for that first ability you probably aren’t casting this card so it’s not a huge deal. Otherwise though, this is pretty good overall. It tells it’s story well enough- two people (who were working together?) fight, something breaks, some kind of treasure gets discovered. Pretty good for some pretty generic effects, I like it quite a bit.

First Threadfall // Fort Weyr by @bergdg

I think it could use just a little more excitement factor, it’s very conservatively costed. I like how it gives you back a land after (theoretically) making you sacrifice one, but I think the cost of the manland could be much lower cause frankly, at this same cost and those first two effects I could see a saga just straight up creating a dragon token, so the extra mana needed there is a shame.

Lumi is Saved // Lumi, the Child of Eden by @piccadilly-blue

This card does a lot of really powerful stuff. Boardwiping, Drawing cards, Progenitus. Definitely feels like too much for six mana. And I’d love for that last chapter to be less wordy than it is. And then finally, I don’t love the massive symmetrical lifegain effect, it seems like it’s pretty board stally. (though admittedly, the 10/10 unblockable should help take that down).

Monster Hunting by @insect-glaive

Oh this is an extremely solid saga design. Slowly building up resources with the first few chapters, then something to use those resources with the last. The repeatable removal you get from chapters I-III is potentially risky, but i think the fact that it’s *fighting* specifically keeps it in check.

Nona’s Third Tantrum by @bread-into-toast

This is cool, but it feels odd that the indestructible and +2/+2 doesn’t last into the combat where your creature must be blocked. Would it be possible to switch the second and third chapters around maybe?

The Great Cow Race by @stupidstupidratcreatures

The rate on this is really unexciting. I think this could very safely be XWW, maybe even XW (though maybe would need the flash gone for that).

The 25th of May by @dimestoretajic

This is interesting. Fighting tends to work well with big creatures, while this tells you to take more of a token approach. But in this specific case, since all your creatures get the fight ability, you can kinda keep throwing creatures at something until it dies. I think +1/+1 counters might be better than vigilance counters though, for the second chapter, if that still works with the flavor. Mostly you’re gonna want to be doing that fighting before blockers to clear stuff away, so if you’re taking the “throw a bunch of small things at it” approach that this card suggests, the attacking isn’t gonna do them much good anyway. I think a +1/+1 counter is better in this case, cause it makes them slightly better fighters and I think it makes the card more interesting when you can fight some without a *guarantee* that your token’s gonna die.

the Watcher’s Crown by @batatafilosofal

Big scry or surveil numbers are generally best to shy away from; they can lead to decision paralysis, and just on its own this can give you surveil 6 when the absolute max we tend to see is 5 and even that’s rare. I don’t think the thoracle like bit is a problem; unlike thoracle, it’s not immediate, so your opponent has plenty of time to mess with your plans. I do think this is too cheap though; two clues a turn for several turns for 2 mana seems like it would outclass most other clue producers.

War of land and Sea by @opalosprey

Very evocative card, the flavor comes across very well. I have no idea what this is referencing, if it’s an event from an actual mythology or something from a book or whatever, but I don’t need to. You did a great job of telling a story through mechanics, and I quite like the mechanics. I like them a lot. I like the choose-the-order thing you’ve got going on with the first two abilities, and I like the whole conceit of the card and what it encourages you to do. I *do* think it’s odd that the tutor for lands ability comes after the first two chapters; seems like you’d want that to come first, as a set up, at least mechanically if not flavorfully. I also worry that the “have an equal number of mountains and islands” bit is potentially more of an annoying, book-keepy thing than it is an interesting challenge, where you have to make sure you don’t unthinkingly play a land drop that’ll mess it up, though hopefully the tutor ability helps you balance things out if you do. (But being able to tutor for any land might lead to more combo-y stuff. Maybe “basic land” or “land with basic land types”.) I do think the equal bit is necessary though, cause the draw a card payoff for islands is imo much stronger than the damage payoff for mountains, so the equal lands of each type encourages you to do both and not lean more on Islands. This is also odd as a three color card that includes green; it definitely feels like mechanically it wants to just be izzet for the sake of mountains and islands, but the last chapter is very much Not Izzet which presents an issue.

The Truman Show by @horsecrash

The necessary exile is a *little* bit annoying. Maybe this could be “you *may* exile that creature. If you do”, or at least “up to one target creature”. But also, it’s a pretty small deal I think; it’s easy enough to work around and even if you have no creature you’re willing to exile, worst comes to worst you just hold it back for a turn. I like the way chapters I and III feed into IV. Second chapter feels a little out of place, but im sure there’s a flavor reason for it, and it’s a pretty generic effect so it’s not harming the design by being on there. I like this.

The War of Shifting Sands // Scepter of the Shifting Sands by @greensunzenith

I can’t quite get a read on this card, on when it will be used. The phasing part especially. Honestly, the best use case a lot of the time might be making a bunch of elves and a dragon and ignoring the phasing thing entirely, which seems to not be how you want things to go. Even then though, giving your opponent so many insects kinda counteracts the advantages you get yourself; and you’re *definitely* not phasing out a dragon to get rid of a bug.

Reign of the Silver Millennium by @little-red-rabbit

Seems a bit board stally. The damage prevention thing means that you’re not gonna be attacking, so you should probably be developing your board, but then the last chapter punishes everyone for doing that. Very evocative of an age of peace, just not sure it plays well.

Weekend at Bernie’s by @just--a--penguin

Pretty solid lol, very fun flavor. I almost wish it said “can’t attack or block *alone*” so that you could get the image of one of your other creatures dragging the body around. I’m also curious about the entombing; it’s definitely the strongest and most consistent way of getting a creature into the yard. I think it might be too repetitive though, you’re probably always tutoring for the same creature with a valuable ETB or something. Might be more fun to just mill so you have to think on the fly a bit more about what creature is best to bring back.

Dragonsong War by @snugz

The last ability may need to be reworded closer to original Polukranos or something; as is it’s a bit unclear how it works. But that’s largely nitpicking. More significantly, I think this card is just way too strong. Creature removal, a very strong creature well worth 5 mana on its own, then a board wipe? That’s a lot. And the removal kind of competes with the board wipe.

Captain Marsh Takes the Oaths by @nine-effing-hells

Oh this is sweet. Prooobably too powerful? Hard to say, this is a difficult one to judge the power level of. Maybe two fish, two treasure, two cards, and then keeping the last chapter the same would be fine, unless the three is really important? But I’m not sure. Maybe three is fine. I just think it gives you a bit too much value. But it does take a good bit of investment to get that going. Hmm. Sorry I’m having trouble with this one; it’s very cool no matter the power level.

Async Opens the Backrooms by @misterstingyjack

There’s some tension here between playing and not playing your cards for the last effect, and I’m not sure how I feel about it, but it’s kind of dwarfed by how very strong this is. Two mana to draw up to two cards for several turns is extremely powerful.

The Stars are Right // Cthulu, Awoken Dreamer by @jsands84

Does a cthulu card really want a downside like that? I know it’s flavorful, but it’d probably be better to represent that moment on another card than on a cthulu card. Cthulu should be terrifying. I think I just want it to be… more. Especially since the first two chapters are kinda small. Good effects, just far from worth 5 mana.

Hell Comes to Mars by @helloijustreadyourpost

Interesting. The protection means the imps will never be able to block the slayer, and means they can easily pick the imps off in the fights granted by the last ability without taking any damage themself. Those imps aren’t long for this world. But it gets a good bit more interesting in multiplayer, which given the nature of UB products isn’t an unlikely place to see this. Probably, it’s too much power for its mana. The imps your opponents get are inconsequential enough given what i just talked about, so two 1/1 fliers plus a 5/5 menace for 4 mana is just too much; the downside doesn’t offset it enough here imo.

The Hardest Question by @hypexion

This last chapter is *scary*. It gets really out of hand. This would probably be plenty strong even without the cloning tap ability. With it this is just game winning.

Thank you all for participating! -@loreholdlesbian

[27-liter-horse]

11.10.24.

I cant exactly say today was a good day but it was VERYY enjoyable. First of, we had a physics detention and there was a literal ocean of kids who had to attend to the point some of us had to give up our seats to the other kids and just stand up for 45 minutes. I was one of the kids who had to stand. We had to write our names on a list because there were 3+ classes of kids and this one boy who I cant fucking stand in the slightest threatened to beat me up because I pushed him slightly because he wouldnt fucking move and I had to write down my name too. Which I would take seriously if he wasnt blessed with the looks of a gay porn actor (a bottom at that). He is shorter than me, has twink blue eyes, wears cheap off brand golden chains and has a dirty blonde buzzcut. If that wasnt enough my voice is deeper than his which is fucking hillarious. And him and another dude literally kissing one another on the cheek WITH THE DUDE RESTING HIS HAND ON THE TWINKS SHOULDER solidified my belief in him being a bottom. Also I confronted the girl who set me up and the way she was desperately trying to make me unblock her and then tell me that the harasser is 15 year old after I called him a pedophile...OKAY?? That doesnt make it okay. Also I had to lie that my cat scratched me after the same girl who set me up YELLED OUT LOUD that I have scars on my arm. Jesus Christ. Two classes later I bought the regular african monster because there werent any caucasian ones and while I was at the store there were two dudes next to me and they deadass commented ''Damn look at that chick'' and I swear to God this has been the third time I have been harrased this month and it hasnt evem been two weeks yet. I want to say I despise that kind of attention and I really do but it almost feel euphoric because of it. I feel like my identity is getting validated especially because I am not allowed to express my femininity as much as I want to. Becoming a metalhead has made me so much more secure and appreciable of my masculinity. I even plan on sewing metal band logos and album covers on my texas jacket. Also I keep the receipts and tabs so I can make a drawing using the receipts and a cool metal necklace with the tabs with a little nameplate with the tabs. While buying the monster I asked for cigarettes ''for my mom'' but the store clerk said I needed an adult with me for that purchase </3. I like the clerk he has this weird energy and look to him. He is this older dude with a gigantic forehead and receding hairline coupled with long greying brown hair, an anorexic face and ashtray blue eyes. He looks like if the word ''nicotine ashes'' was a person. However, this girl in my class told me she will buy cigarettes at her place for me and that I just have to give her the money. I requested Marlboro and I cant wait to give her the money in a couple days. It has been almost 2 months after I smoked for the first time. I got a C in anatomy and the teacher let the kids who got graded go home early so I bought a hot chocolate with the small amount of money I do have and that shit burned my tongue and mouth so bad that theyre still numb. My mother came home with my sister and they had a massive argument over some bullshit and I couldnt care less but seeing my mom so pissed off and my sister finally experiencing some form of a blow at her ego made my day that much better especially because all of this happened on a Friday. Also I have inspiration to write another song and this one is going to be heavily focused on cocaine (the closest to coke I've ever tried was pepsi) and its inspired by Sky Ferreira again. I really like Sky and her music, its the exact kind of teenage angst I long for in my life and I'm so excited to be making music like her someday.

[tolerateit]

MEG is started the new job today and im excited, the whole company seems very well organized which i really like

but and hour before that i had a whole panic induced adventure

because you see, i took my husbands name last year but i didnt change the banking info for my international account because of the old client invoices, in case its an issue

but today, i had to do that so i can submit payment info for this company

anyway, i submitted all my documentation to get in approved and hopped on the customer support chat to ask if it's gonna be an issue for the old invoices with my maiden name

i waited about an hour and in that time the documentation got all approved. i got an email about it and everything and so i opened to see the account. lo and behold, all my funds and cards were blocked. so i started panicking. aside from waiting my turn in the customer support chat queue, there was little else i could do. so i waited for another 40ish minutes. once i got through i told them i had another question but everything in my account was blocked which was a more pressing matter. and i asked when it would be unblocked. they told me my account was under mandatory review and would take a little bit so i had to wait. but upon asking how long i had to wait for, they couldn't tell me aside from "a little bit, please be patient"

so i googled it and found people complaining that their stuff got blocked on the same platform for MONTHS before finally GETTING THEIR ACCOUNTS DELETED WITH ALL THE MONEY IN THEM, THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ALL GONE

i started panicking more and kept asking the customer support employee for a benchmark timeline, and they finally relented and said it would take a few days before it's settled and id get an email for any next steps

i said thanks and hopped off the chat

and then i realized I HAD TWO HOURS UNTIL I START WORK AND NEED THE ACCOUNT INFO FOR THE CLIENT TO PAY ME

so i hopped on another customer support chat and explained that its kinda urgent and im having borderline panic attacks and finally i got a better answer: 24-48 hours

okay i could panic wait for 24-48 hours no problem

and then i thanked them for the help, logged off and started refreshing my email - nothing. i checked the account again just in case - AND EVERYTHING WAS FINE

holy hell

i love how fast they work and the quality of work but CMON so i sent another message telling them they should probably inform customers when encountering situations like this that the account gets blocked so they can manage expectations better

PHEW! i spent a couple of hours thinking i could never work again (this is the only payment service that actually works in my country)

BUT WE'RE FINE THANK GOD

YOU HAD ME STRESSING FOR A SECOND THERE dkdkdjdjd I'm glad everything worked out!!! And woot what an adventurous first day hahaha, I'm sure everything that follows will be breezy and smooth going now!!

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1110 review

This is a chapter that doesn't disappoint. Things are really heating up as we hit the tenth chapter of volume 109 with Egghead's likely final end-of-volume cliffhanger to come in the next chapter or two.

But we start out with a new cover story, and yeah, it's Yamato following Oden's tour of Wano, which is probably the least exciting thing going on this week. However with the last cover story having such a large and immediate connection to the current story, I'm going in with an open mind and considering my hopes. Seeing some of the stuff that got shortchanged in Wano's clipped epilogue would be cool, like Ryuma's grave for example, or passing by Izo's tomb and seeing Kiku visiting. Perhaps a more direct confonrtation of the public's feelings about Tama's Kurozumi heritage. That one might be hard in the pantomime format of a cover story, but you never know. It's going to be a few installments before there's enough info to make any real prediction about the story's trajectory though, we know they never quite stay the course they seem to start on.

Getting back into it, Oda spends a couple of pages building into the big reveals. We also get a timeline update, with 3 minutes down already, which is a brisk pace as Shonen countdowns go. The summoning circles definitely seem closer together and like they're placed in a more rubble-strewn environment than in the final spread of the last chapter, enough to ease my concerns about the space shifting slightly.

And the monster designs that come out when the shadows are pulled back are truly awe inspiring. I don't know a lot of yokai or much about any of them (could tell you a little bit about classic sandworms though), but these are easy 10/10 beasts with all of Oda's best character design ideas on full display. When One Piece ends and he inevitably gets restless after his well-earned break Oda should absolutely do the Toriyama (RIP) thing and design monsters for games. What do you even say to a pair of pages like this? I can't stop looking back to them.

And these guys are made to feel like a threat too. None of them speak in the whole chapter; similar to Saturn's original rampage it makes them feel all the more inhuman. (Saturn did speak when he confirmed the summons in the last chapter, so we know they can but you still get the same effect from how sparse their dialogue is.) They spring immediately into action with no apparent coordination or communication between each other, and they go straight for their goals. There's no posturing or speeches or taking test shots at Luffy to measure his power. Nasjuro is off and running already, cutting down Pacifistas to unblock the Buster Call fleet, solving problems for the bad guys. Mars takes a shot at the barrier, and even though it doesn't work you know he's going to be there the moment it goes down for real. And Ju Peter and Saturn go straight for Luffy. They really don't feel like playtime villains, which is exactly what you need at this late stage of the story.

The absence of Warcury is curious though. Is he also fighting Luffy, or is he going for something else? Charging towards Bonney perhaps?

But what are they? The fact that the odaboxes simply give creature names without specifying a Devil Fruit type is super suspicious. Nasjuro's ice powers mirror Brook's abilities (which allegedly come from having returned from death, rather than being directly a feature of his fruit), which could maybe suggest that he as well has returned from some kind of underworld.

I'm not ready to totally rule out it being a misdirect and them having Devil Fruits of a matched kind, but the weird details are adding up.

Speaking of weird details, I can't quite tell if it's weird scaling/camera angles or not, but it almost seems like Lucci knocks Enma away from Zoro only for it to boomerang back to his hand. I'm not crazy, right, other people are seeing this? At a glance you think maybe it goes up and he catches it as it comes down, but that flight path is curved in every panel. So what, did Zoro just get lucky with the amount of spin, or is there some strange new property of Enma's power/contained Haki being shown here. Or something to do with Zoro's close grim reaper encounter? Stick a pin in this one I think we'll be coming back to it later.

I'm ambivalent about the Zoro and Lucci fight as a whole. The outcome was never in doubt, and it was too offscreen to provide any real character interaction or clash of ideology to add substance. Zoro snapping and finding the motivation to take the win right away when Sanji talks him down is a decent bit for the two of them, but it's not quite enough to make the whole fight feel like more than padding.

Truly, if Lucci had been handcuffed properly after the death game portion and never made his breakout attempt, I don't think the arc would have played out any differently. Even the silly anticlimax of the sliding ship serves the purpose of justifying the Sunny getting from A to B over dry land, but Lucci? Was taking Stussy off the table that important? Was it the only way to make it believable that Zoro wouldn't follow Sanji and Vegapunk down to the Labophase and get involved with the Elders too soon? I'm having a hard time seeing it, but the arc isn't over yet.

The final spread is a fantastic callback and great hype-builder for the next chapter. And I think it's going to prove just how far the Elders' regeneration is able to go. The Elders aren't going down here, definitely not, but with Dorry and Brogy there might just be enough muscle on Luffy's side to hold them back until the broadcast goes ahead.

We're getting colour pages next week, and I have to wonder if an Akira Toriyama tribute is coming. Jump has to do it, there's no way they won't, but the gap between when the pages are finalised and when we see them, and the break between when Toriyama died and when it was announced to the public makes it all kinds of tough to figure out the earliest that could happen. I could definitely see Oda pivoting last minute and trading out a finished colour spread to something in honour of Toriyama, but the timing is tight. We'll see soon, I suppose. May the hits keep on coming for the Egghead finale!

You can also read on my Wordpress!

[uncleasad]

This was written from notes jotted on or about January 15.

It had been a week or so since I watched Episode 7, and it felt like a chasm had developed between then and now—a chasm also reflected on screen, between Emily and Edward, as well as a minor one between Emily mère and Edward, as he prepares to abandon her for Congress—at Christmas!

At the beginning, the rift between Emily and Sue also remains, although perhaps it is beginning to mend. We see Sue’s jealousy of Emily’s friendship/flirting with Ben, which is a fun mirror to Emily’s mild resentment of Sue’s relationship with Austin in the early days of the season. Finally, though, there appears to be a rapprochementbetween the BFFs when they have an honest talk and Sue confesses how she was taking Emily’s presence, always being there when she wanted or needed her, for granted.

Until then, though, Ben is Emily’s lifeline, and she decides single-handedly to “rescue” her mother’s cancelled Christmas Dinner—the insanity of it all, just to impress Ben. Emily, the anti-housewife, goes full-on housewife in this episode, and it is both hilarious—but also impressive to see how much she has absorbed of “the woman’s role” to (mostly—with the help of others, including Sue) pull it all off.

(When Emily was forced to confess to Lavinia that Ben was not really married, the youngest Dickinson’s excitement was palpable—whether that was actually happiness for Emily, or more for her own progress towards matrimony potentially being unblocked, we don’t know.)

As for Sue and Austin, I’m still not sure whether he loves Sue or only the idea of Sue, but it felt in that moment that he did hear her. (Such a terrible fear to have carried her whole life—and another reminder that these events of nearly two centuries ago are not so far removed from today, as here in Georgia we are near the bottom—40-something-th—in maternal mortality, even though our governor would rather ignore that uncomfortable truth. Or, as so many cases post-Dobbs have shown, the men in power have codified the idea that the mother should die so that the child can be born. In large swaths of this country, we have returned to the horrors of two hundred years ago.)

The relationship between Edward and Emily continues to be one of the most interesting ones in the series. Despite his gruff, man-of-the-era attitude and views, Edward seems almost desperate for Emily’s good graces. We’re 80% of the way through the season, and the series has yet to try to explain why he is this way—he does not have the same need with his wife or his other daughter, and I would guess not Austin, either.  So here he is still bending over backwards to please—or at least appease—Emily with the Christmas present of the conservatory, her very own greenhouse attached to the house so she might grow plants and flowers year-round. However, Emily’s vision, of her trapped in the conservatory, trapped in her father’s house, makes me wonder how Emily really feels? Especially after her conversation with her mother, who is so proud of how Emily stepped up and showed she could take care of the family life, and then “grants” Emily’s wish not to need to be married…which suddenly becomes a prison.

Ben’s illness is strong foreshadowing on its own, and then very much on the nose with Death’s carriage as Emily walks home alone. (Aside: I really loved that red-and-blue combination on Emily in that scene, the red dress, red scarf, red lips, complemented with the blue coat, and against the stark white of the Christmas snow.)

[fearthegrand]

I don't play competitive games anymore.

I just wanted to get that out there somewhere. I decided this many years ago though, so this has been a long-time thing for me. Just anything that has a heavy emphasis on or is solely based on player vs player engagement. I learned a long time ago that I couldn't handle it and that it just was not for me. Weather I won or lost I got no enjoyment out of it at all. As a person who lost, well, I think that really speaks for itself. No one likes to lose games. Some people can handle it better than others and I can respect that, but then there is the group of people including myself who cannot handle it. But it goes a bit deeper than that.

Even as a winner, I still don't feel good. Because I can't help but think about how in order for me to win, someone else had to lose. I don't like the fact that I possibly just ruined someone else's day because I know in their shoes, I would probably feel miserable and like I wasted my time. Blaming others for cheating they didn't do because I didn't want to admit my own faults. I don't like thinking like that. A little story here. A long time ago back when I was still okay with fighting games, I had this game I liked to play a lot. I sucked horribly at it. It was very competitive. So much so that only really hard-core players played it with arcade controllers and everything. No new players ever played it for this reason. I played it with a regular controller but I didn't mind. I had a few friends on it. They would beat me in it relentlessly over and over, but I still had fun regardless. I did manage to get like one or two wins the odd times I got lucky but that was it.

I met a friend on there. Really good at the game like super good. She would beat me constantly. I never beat her once. Then after trying so many times I finally got that one lucky win. I got really excited that I finally had won a game, and I was on my headset as well cheering and just got caught in the moment. When I finally managed to stop myself, I tried to talk to her about it but found out she had left the room, unfriended me and blocked me completely. all in less than a minute. I was pretty mortified because she was a really good friend of mine. All the excitement I had just a moment ago just vanished into thin air. She definitely heard me screaming in joy just now. Was she angry? Did I upset her? Does she hate me now? That's all I could think about, and I had no way of knowing because I was blocked. I was really bummed out after that. I know I probably shouldn't let something like that get to me like it did but understand that she was a dear friend to me. I never found out how she really felt that day because she never unblocked me, and I never spoke to her again.

But yeah, that happened, and it sort of reshaped how I view winning competitive games now. I play co-op games where everyone wins and loses together or just single player games now. This happened many years ago, but I never forgot it and quite frankly I feel better off after that. I don't want to be the reason some else is not having fun nor not have fun myself. There are a lot of other games to play that are not competitive anyhow. It's just one arm of gaming. Anyway, I just wanted to get that story off my chest. Thanks for reading.