#it's quite a defining moment of their growth. making an active choice in it and not like

[nearestend]

dee asked if my muse believes in love and if they think they will ever find it for themselves. of course, i have thoughts on this. so here's love (alice's version):

alice raised herself on all sorts of romantic fiction (linklater's before trilogy, shakespearean romances which mostly don't end too well, "lover, you should have come over" by that goddamn jeff buckley she won't stop talking about), as we already know. she's been in love a few times and it tends not to go so well for her. so she has this really complicated and skewed concept of it — yes, it exists and can be a really beautiful thing. no, she does not think it's possible for her, at least not in a way that's healthy.

her experiences with love have almost exclusively been tainted by something negative. falling in love too young with the wrong kind of people who don't have her best interest at heart. falling in love with someone who is genuinely good and kind to her but having so many obstacles due to the lack of privacy and the presence of judgement in her life. she's never really had an example of a healthy or stable relationship to look to for guidance and has this really warped sense of self to begin with. it's cliche to say, but i think most people can agree that it is quite hard to love anyone else when you aren't kind to yourself. if someone tells her that they love her, she will almost always start running through the scenarios of "what happens when you change your mind / when i do something wrong / when something better comes along / when you start to see the things that i don't like about myself". these questions tend to become very overpowering and make it extremely difficult for alice to allow any sort of proximity to her in that regard.

there's a few quotes that often come to mind for me when i think about alice and her relationship to love. "what if it's not meant for me / love", from don't delete the kisses by wolf alice. "i can't love you how you want me to", from bite the hand by boygenius. "i feel crazy in ways i never say / will you still love me if it turns out i'm insane", from we're in love by boygenius.

love tends to be very volatile for alice, very complex and often consuming — not just limited to her romantic relationships, but platonic and familial dynamics as well. she is so preoccupied with fears of abandonment or being forgotten that it clouds her judgement. she craves affection but it also repulsed by it, or rather, repulsed by herself for wanting it. she does not know how to desire anything halfway, she has to let it swallow her or else she won't allow it at all. she doesn't want to ruin someone else by loving them too much, she doesn't want to trap them or keep them tied to her because she assumes that inevitably one day they will change their mind.

and so, to answer the question simply: does she believe in love? yes, very much so. possibly too much. does she think she will ever find it for herself? yes, and she has, but she doesn't think it's meant for her to have. nothing is ever easy with this girl, i'm very sorry to say it.

[v1rg1nm4ry]

Short stereotypical astrology assumptions/observations that may or may not be superficial, controversial and unserious but informative

This highly excludes crucial aspects and such so is why this is titled as “stereotypical”

By V1rg1nm4ry

Cancer Venus in 11H movies probably make you cry you big crybaby

Gemini Venus/Gemini mercury/suns

You’re Peter Pan, commitment issues, I’m young forever! Would be their quote because they almost never grow up or want to

And you’re a sapiosexual that probably moans or lick the words off of a text while debating a long stimulating conversation with someone that can reciprocate your intellectual curiosity especially of your interests

Gemini mars

You probably like nerdy intellectually stimulating/forthright people

Just very youthful/giddy/passionate/loud/macho people and you’re a sucker for them

Leo Venus

You like childish people

No, a literal woman/man child with a very childish bright yet egocentric, expressive, cheeky attitude and nature. They’re practically your weakness and you like people who bring the biggest child out of you

Pisces south nodes/Virgo risings/North node in 1st house-south node in 7th house

You have a saviour complex and you’re not a hero. Quit the fantasy of fixing or saving people and form boundaries

Libra south nodes

Stop agreeing with everyone or anyone in a conversation and form your own opinion and decision on things

Scorpio south nodes/ Taurus north node

You probably had a troubled past, I find people with this engage in rebellious actives in early life or have an abusive nature and experienced transforming events in their life. Which is why Taurus is in the NN to balance your controlling/tense nature. In which means to let go of control.

Having this north node is a growth to realize your life is yours, that your pain or past does not define your life in any way.

Leo rising/moon/chiron in the 1st

Not everyone will like you and just learn to accept that

Saturn in the 1st/saturnian ascendants

You looked like a very young grandma/grandpa when you were younger and age backwards

Aries mercury/aries in third house/Mars conjunct mercury

‘Think before you speak’ but then you would do the total opposite of that. For example, you’re at a funeral and you call out the bad choice of outfit of the dead person and everyone are in suspense over what you just said but you do not see the problem because the only problem to you in that moment is that outfit.

You call people out almost unnecessarily and think what you say is correct and constructive, but in reality you are just a combative jerk and a hater

Pisces mercury/neptune conjunct mercury/pisces in third house

Stop disassociating and be present for once. We get it. you got a vision of the future

Scorpio Pluto

What’s it like carrying and dealing with the 10 pounds of generational family trauma that nobody in your family wanted to deal with

Neptune/pisces in the 1st house

You hold soft submissive bug eyes

Mars in the 1st house

You admire/envy people who work out or are athletic. You may easily attract aggressors and competitors as well or even physical/verbal abuse in some way. This can go both ways.

Mercury conjunct Saturn/saturn/capricorn in the third house

“I have no mouth and I must scream”

Is basically this aspect/placement. They can’t talk freely or felt restricted in communication which leads to anxiety issues, speech impediments/learning difficulties and social anxiety. They just won’t feel they can ever speak and express their mind unless it’s necessary to.

Libra/chiron in the second house

Are your desires really yours, Or do you just want what everyone has that you don’t?

Lilith in 11th house

Outcast, loner, weirdo, felt unwanted in any community or social event and convention. They will not conform to social norms in some way even if they deny that they don’t realize it in them themselves

And If they were to tell you that they didn’t have toxic friends or the strangest social relationships they would be lying. And it’s either their friends want to have sex with them, or them themselves.

Virgo/gemini/mercury in the 12th house

I find having a mercurial influence in the 12th house can indicate people that will go against what you say even if you had decent intentions. Definitely can result to attracting a form of verbal abuse/gaslighting

Sun square mars aspect

If you have sun square mars, you likely have trouble dealing your anger in a healthy way. The sun rejects mars and how it expresses itself conflicts mars which results in suppressing anger and fosters resentment

[deepeshchandran09]

Corporate Storytelling for HR

Attracting, on-boarding and retaining the right talent, simplified!

Contrary to popular belief, the role of an HR department is not just to organize team-building activities. Effective human resources (HR), with well-defined functions and management, can help provide organizational structure and the ability to meet business needs by managing the organization’s most valuable asset – the employees. 

The HR’s job is one of the most important contributors to an organization’s success but often at times they are undervalued. 

The following challenges denote the speed-bumps they face every day and yet are underappreciated-

Rising attrition rates

Lack of engaging employee orientation programs to instill safety, pride, and enthusiasm 

Top-down lack of empathy 

Disconnect between the management and teams 

Candidate drop-offs after recruitment/on boarding

Lack of alignment with the organizational north star/vision/ mission 

ROI with storytelling for HR 

1.Problem

Rising attrition rates and lack of engaging employee orientation programs.

Solution

Often employees quit mentally 3-6 months before resigning, the trick is to recognize withdrawal symptoms and address those early. Storytelling help leaders strengthen employee connections or retain them by invoking feelings and action based on safety, pride, and enthusiasm. Ditch your regular 32-slide presentations and leverage ‘people stories’ to grab employee attention. Whether conducted in private or in a public meeting, storytelling can change employee attitude.

2.Problem

Top-down lack of empathy and disconnect between the management and teams

Solution

People don’t leave companies, they leave people. Empathy-based HR storytelling can help leaders lead with empathy, offer recognition and appreciation for teams and develop a human bond.

3.Problem

Candidate drop-offs after recruitment/on boarding and lack of alignment with the north star

Solution

Money can’t buy happiness nor the right talent. Attract the best candidates for your organizational needs with storytelling for human resources. Change your company narrative and inspiring examples to lure the talent of your choice.

4.Problem

Engaging employee orientation programs to instil skillsets, knowledge and enthusiasm.

Solution

Translate abstract or complex information into something more meaningful and understandable Making the content more knowledgeable and stimulating. Enhancing the productivity of the organization

5.Problem

Training and development

Solution

Help the organisation to keep pace with innovations in technology and upgrade the employees. Better understanding  and clarity on skillsets required Helps the organization to retain top talent and increase job satisfaction

6.Problem

Employee Welfare

Solution

Projects how the organization care for their employees Assists in understanding the balance between work and health Secured feeling and awareness on Insurance and future financial planning.

The desire to create stories is not new, but it often feels like a challenge. To kick-start this process, there are several moments or milestones you can turn to. Leveraging them to create, narrate, and recall stories feel more like a conversation and less challenging. Successful HR stories communicate intent, imbibe it and help recollect it at the right moment. Here are some other benefits of storytelling for human resources-

Develop an employee connect

Generate brand recall 

Attract new talent 

Resolve people challenges

Drive an engine of change

E.g.1.: Smita was thinking of leaving the present organization for career growth and better prospects. After attending the HR storytelling session her mind-set changed as she could visualize her growth in the present organization with enhance skillsets through HR Learning and Development workshops.

E.g.2.: Team Leader Rahul got clarity on productivity and goal of the organisation through employee orientation program by HR. This motivated him to enhance and bring out the best output from his team. It also developed his qualities of leadership.

 Are you ready to create a robust story bank to humanize business functions and processes in your organization?

Get in touch by connecting on hello@deepeshchandran.com or call us on +919970838025

[happysproutsblog]

Happy Sprouts Early Learning & Montessori Craigieburn

So, Are you on the hunt for a trustworthy Montessori Craigieburn that offers a wide range of services? Well, your search ends here, because Happy Sprouts is the perfect choice for you.

When it comes to parenting, few topics are as crucial and significant as early childhood education and child care. As parents, we are constantly seeking the best possible opportunities and experiences for our little ones. Also, ensuring their well-rounded development is at the forefront of our minds.

Understanding early childhood

Understanding early childhood is of utmost importance for several reasons. At Happy Sprout Montessori Craigieburn, we know that this is a critical period in a child's development that lays the foundation for their future growth and success. All parents must understand the intricacies of this stage. Only then can you provide the necessary support and guidance to ensure optimal development. 

What is the early childhood period? Well, it's typically defined as the period from birth to around eight years old. From the moment your child enters this world, their brains are like sponges. The developing brain soaks up every experience and interaction that comes our way. 

It's truly remarkable how these early childhood experiences shape the very architecture of our brains. Keep this crucial factor in mind when you look for a reliable montessori Craigieburn. 

Your child's early development

Think about it: every touch, every word spoken, every song sung to us—they all leave an indelible mark on our developing minds. These early years are a critical period of rapid brain development. It's the period in which the brain's neural circuits are being wired and rewired at an astonishing pace.

It's during this time that the brain is most malleable, most receptive to the world around us. The experiences we have during these formative years play a pivotal role in shaping your child's:

Cognitive abilities

Emotional well-being

Social skills. 

They also lay the groundwork for your child's:

Future academic achievements

Ability to regulate our emotions

The capacity to form healthy relationships

At Happy Sprout Montessori Craigieburn, we lay a solid foundation

In today's fast-paced world, it is more important than ever to ensure that our children have a strong foundation to build upon. This foundation we lay serves as the bedrock for their development. We make sure we equip your child with the necessary skills and abilities to navigate the challenges of adulthood successfully.

Is it necessary to have Montessori Craigieburn?

When it comes to early childhood education, the Montessori approach has been making waves. Recent studies have delved into the progress of children at the tender age of five. Surprisingly, the results were quite remarkable. It turns out that those who had the privilege of attending a Montessori school showed significant advantages in various areas of development. 

One of the standout findings was in the realm of literacy. The children who had experienced the Montessori method displayed stronger reading skills.

They also showed better writing skills compared to their peers from other schools. This early boost in literacy sets a solid foundation for future academic success. Aren't these compelling reasons to look for a montessori Craigieburn VIC 3064 for your kid? 

Other skills

Numeracy skills were another area where Montessori students excelled. The hands-on, interactive nature of the Montessori approach seemed to foster a deeper understanding of mathematical concepts. These children demonstrated a greater grasp of numbers, patterns, and problem-solving abilities. This gives them an edge in their early mathematical journey. 

Executive function, which encompasses skills like:

Self-control

Attention span

Decision-making

These skills also showed significant improvement in Montessori students. The freedom to choose their own activities and work at their own pace seemed to enhance their ability to regulate their behaviour and make thoughtful choices. This valuable skill set will undoubtedly serve them well as they navigate the challenges of life. But it doesn't stop there. 

The social skills of Montessori students were found to be more advanced compared to their counterparts. The emphasis on collaboration, respect, and empathy within the Montessori Craigieburn environment seemed to cultivate a strong sense of community and interpersonal skills. 

Education and care in one place

Most of us are parents with jam-packed schedules. So, it's no surprise that finding quality time to spend with our children in the morning can be a challenge. In today's fast-paced world, it's no secret that work and money go hand in hand. Whether we like it or not, the reality is that we have to put in the hours and effort to earn a living. 

Earning money is a concept that has been ingrained in our society for generations. It's also something we can't escape. Imagine this: you're a parent living in Craigieburn, desperately searching for a reliable Montessori Craigieburn for your little one. 

The stress and pressure can be overwhelming. But fear not, because there is a shining beacon of hope called Happy Sprout. We are here to save the day and provide your child with the best Montessori education possible.

Entrusting your precious child's care

When it comes to entrusting the care of your child to someone else, it's only natural to have concerns and want reassurance. After all, your child's well-being is of utmost importance. That's why it's crucial to choose a childcare facility that promises to take care of your little one.

They must also guarantee that qualified staff will be there every step of the way. Rest assured, but you must choose a childcare centre that prioritises the well-being of your child. By doing so, you can have peace of mind knowing that they will be in capable hands.

[angelsndragons]

fjord’s feelings for caduceus changed in episodes 98-99

by which i mean, fjord finally realized how special and important he is to caduceus, which in turn set the tone of their relationship for the rest of the campaign. buckle up, this is a long one.

not when fjord threw away his sword and went to caduceus instead of jester. or when caduceus presented him with the star razor. or after the citadel fight when caduceus gave him his holy symbol. i think things changed for fjord in episode 98-99, when caduceus saved his life and removed the orb.

this is going to require some context.

because here’s the thing: fjord’s always looking for the price, waiting for the catch or other shoe to drop. people caring for him because of him with no strings attached is unprecedented. vandren and the world taught fjord that love is conditional, that only if you hide what others would find ugly and make yourself useful to them will they deign to give you a scrap of affection. i don’t think vandren did this maliciously, mind you, it was just part of his worldview and fjord’s life up to and beyond that point supported it. we can see that right up to the end of the show, where fjord is terrified that vandren didn’t remember him or that he didn’t mean nearly as much to the man as vandren did to him.

so we have fjord, who learned to don masks and hide his truest self, including his best and worst aspects. while fjord made the nein into a coherent group, into a force, a crew, a family, even, he still waited for that other shoe to drop. waited for the day that they would reject him because he was no longer useful or because he pushed them too far. you can see this waiting all over the early campaign; he’s not looking for an excuse like caleb to cut and run but he anticipates nearly all the moments that almost fractured the nein, in spite of that low wisdom score. while jester carried the guilt of not being able to save molly, fjord carried the guilt of not protecting the group in that crucial moment. travis confirmed on talks that fjord’s biggest fear when he lost his powers the first time was that he would no longer be useful and be kicked out of the group. 

that’s why fjord damn near broke down at the end of 72. the nein, no questions asked, with their standard level of snark, accepted that he was going to be a liability and kept him around anyway. armed him anyway. declared that he was no liability and that they would help him along until he could help himself and them again. this unconditional acceptance caught fjord completely off guard. it always does, really. because caduceus had said for months, an out of game half a year, that he was looking to reforge the sword as a gift for fjord. he said this to fjord’s face. he did not change course when he learned that the sword was a legendary blade forged by acolytes of the wildmother and moonweaver. the blade was still meant for fjord, even if fjord was still chained to uk’otoa. fjord extends his love and protection to the nein but is still not convinced the reverse is true. he was starting to believe it but he wasn’t quite there yet.

caduceus has a high enough wisdom to understand that’s fjord’s hang up even if he doesn’t quite understand the reasoning behind it. that’s why he pulls fjord aside in ep 75 and tells him that he doesn’t have to choose the wildmother, that there are other gods and other ideas out there looking for a champion. fjord, who at this point considers wildmom his only option (travis says she’s the only one who’s shown the slightest interest in fjord and that’s why he’s gunning for her), is befuddled by caduceus and this whole talk, so much so the pair end up talking past each other for the next several episodes.

after fjord officially becomes a paladin, things between him and caduceus become fairly...unsettled compared to their previous interactions. they talk past each other more, they aren’t in sync enough to double team those social interactions they were just starting to get good at. things are just weird for a while. to me, that’s fjord waiting for the catch, waiting for caduceus to call in some favor or something like it. and he keeps getting confused when caduceus doesn’t. so he tries once or twice to follow in caduceus’ footsteps and do as he would instead. and it just makes things weirder. these two don’t have a moment together that doesn’t leave one of them confused or unsatisfied until ep 87, when caduceus gives fjord the holy symbol and inadvertently kicks off the next phase of their relationship. because here, caduceus tries to put them back on equal footing and fjord recognizes it. caduceus rejects framing their relationship as mentor/student and tells fjord he doesn’t need caduceus to give him answers. fjord is “well on his way.”

by defining what they aren’t, mentor/student, our two boys inadvertently ask the question, “so what are we?” honestly, it’s a question that the entire group grapples with in the 90s as they reintegrate yasha, as veth struggles with the question of changing back and whether she can stay with the nein, as beau tries to sacrifice herself for veth, as jester learns some uncomfortable truths about the traveler, as caduceus finds his family again. fjord and caduceus can easily define what they aren’t - not mentor/student, not brothers or cousins- but what they actually are stumps both of them.

their relationship doesn't look like any of their relationships with the others: beau is fjord's bro and first mate, caleb is fjord's complicated mirror and admiree, jester his crush and first person he learned to be vulnerable with, veth his antagonistic sibling. on caduceus' side, caleb is the one he looks to for a fellow project nerd and clear, unvarnished goals, beau and jester are the sisters caduceus misses, yasha the quiet beloved barbarian he understands better than the rest, and veth a mess he wants to help but can't. but fjord and caduceus' relationship is highly undefined at this point. notably undefined, beyond their newly shared connection to melora. at the dinner with essek, we get the stone bomb. and travis and fjord panic. like no, seriously, they spend the next four episodes low key panicking over this revelation. this ties back to fjord waiting for those other shoes to drop but it’s also more than that.

when it comes to destiny, fjord has always been the answer, the self made man, to both caduceus and caleb’s questions about destiny. he makes choices about who he is, who he wants to be, and takes actions towards those goals. he is one of those rare people who can wear many different masks, take on many different roles, while still maintaining his sense of self and becoming a fuller version of who he is. when I say fjord is the answer to destiny, what i mean is that he is what ioun said way back in c1 about Fate: mortals make choices and through those choices, destiny is fulfilled. he is the answer to caduceus' own growth from passive instrument waiting for someone to play him to active communicator in this conversation between gods and mortals. in this sense, fjord is what caduceus learns to be (this is exactly why caduceus rejects a mentor role; he has as much to learn from fjord as vice versa).

so for this coincidence to pop up, this idea that maybe fjord only had the illusion of choice to extend his service to the wildmother, that maybe somehow he was manipulated again, that there was some grand destiny pushing things and fjord had no say in it, yeah, i can see why fjord was low-key terrified. so is this what fjord and caduceus are: just some predestined grand fairy tale partnership neither of them have that much say in? episode 96 resoundingly rejects that label too. for one thing, none of the stones or clays treat fjord's last name as anything amazing or spectacular. for another, this string of episodes gives us caduceus at his most human. the terror of not knowing what happened to his family, the uncertainty of his homecoming, the relief of saving his family and home, the irritation at the way the chaos crew treats the temple, the playful attitude caduceus cultivates after, it's all on display. caduceus drops much of his placid exterior and willingly allows the nein to see sheer depth of emotion he has.

which leads me back to episode 98-99. uk’otoa’s agents come for fjord. and caduceus is pissed. travis and ashley both said on talks that they hadn’t really seen taliesin that pissed, that it was like someone had threatened an actual loved one of his. fjord dies. and comes back to an exhausted, still pissed off firbolg who is five seconds away from snapping archmage vess derogna’s head off for interrupting his prayer of healing. taliesin doesn’t even begin to relax until they start interrogating the dead fish people the next day. once caduceus confirms the ball is still in fjord, notably caduceus and caleb were the two who remembered, fjord starts asking for a way to remove it. he asks caduceus to start a commune with wildmom in tandem with jester’s commune with the traveler. caleb tells fjord that caduceus fought “very hard for you while you were down, i don’t know if he’s up to it.” having heard that, caduceus still tries, with his first divine intervention attempt of the campaign. and when jester figures out that greater restoration will work, caduceus pushes through his exhaustion, takes charge, and goes through a truly terrifying greater restoration with fjord to remove the ball. convulsing, seizing, shuddering, collapsing, etc.

in those moments, and in the quiet after when fjord confirms that he still has his powers, it finally hits him that yes, people can protect, fight, and love him for who he is alone. there is no chain or other shoe waiting to be dropped here. the wildmother is no uk’otoa, to punish or take power at a whim. caduceus will fight with everything he has and then some for fjord because he loves him (not for nothing does fjord only realizes the depths of jester’s feelings when she uses heal on him). who are caduceus and fjord to each other? they are people who will fight for one another and the others as far as they can. fjord says over and over again that he wants to protect the nein and look out for them because he cares for them. he demonstrates it over and over again as well. caduceus says basically the same thing; he wants everyone safe and happily on their way and will stay until they are. he demonstrates this all the time as well. this is, i think, the first time that he demonstrates his dedication so unequivocally, free of the artifice of duty, fully committed through love. fjord recognizes this in caduceus and caduceus does in fjord.

i say this is a turning point because, while they don’t really have another super in depth conversation alone together, these two start clocking each other and openly help and look out for each other. there’s an ease and intimacy to the relationship after this. fjord watching caduceus swim near vokodo’s lair, fjord being ready to hand over his armor to caduceus when it looks like his won’t be ready, fjord, caduceus, and beau plotting behind jester’s back to keep her safe from the traveler, the absolute offense fjord takes to eadwulf after he spoke to caduceus like that, fjord levels up in paladin after caduceus tells him he’s proud to know him, all the way to the end of the show when fjord shelters the clerics and tells them to finish lucien, we get little moments like these from both of them. hell, caduceus is the first person in the campaign to tell fjord directly that he loves him.

[thefools-journey]

So. Some of you may be wondering why we haven’t written a whole ton about the secondaries or what have you. Here’s the reason: we were waiting for them to end before we really dug into the problems we were noticing. We felt that it was only fair to wait for the routes to finish so that we had an understanding of the writers’ vision. Who knew, we thought, maybe they would see the problems themselves and course correct, maybe they are building to something we can’t quite see yet and these issues will have actual payoff, maybe-

In light of Muriel and Lucio’s endings, and the general mess that has dominated Portia’s route for a year plus now, we are breaking our silence. We are actually going to talk about this shit show.

The fandom at large has talked about a bunch of issues with the secondaries but for me, the cardinal sin, the thing that really all the issues lead back to, is this: the writers lost sight of the tarot themes which so strongly defined and held together the primary routes. Let me explain.

The primary routes each center around three thematic cores:

The Love Interest’s Major Arcana and its Reversed/Upright meanings

The MC’s Fool’s Journey, both how it can go right and how it can go wrong

A question about the MC’s identity and their relationship to said identity

Asra’s route asks: Who was the MC? How does the MC navigate a past they cannot and will not remember? What do they owe a past they cannot remember? How do they handle the revelations of what Asra, Nadia, Julian, etc did? How do you right the past? Can you?

Nadia’s route asks: Who is the MC? The MC has no past. Are they the Fool only? Are they actually the same person they were? How can they tell? Who are they, really? Are they an imposter? No one can answer these questions for them.

Julian’s route asks: Who will the MC become? How does the MC see their future? Is there anything worth fighting for for that future? What will become of them and their loved ones? 

Now, if you notice, these themes are expertly woven throughout the primaries. Asra’s past dominates his route, Nadia is also missing memories and trying to construct her identity both with her family and with Vesuvia, and Julian’s fear of the future drives his flailing for control. Asra has to learn to take a broader view of his actions to get his Upright Ending, Nadia has to learn to trust herself and those around her for hers, and Julian has to learn how to let go for his. These lessons are the issues their cards stand for. The primaries are so dang elegant and delicate in their handlings of theme it is honestly awe-inspiring.

Thematically, the secondary routes have completely lost their hearts. First of all, the MC does not have strong, core questions which need to be answered. They just don’t. I suppose the writers did not want to retread old territory (which is weird considering how tightly bound the primaries are; it really tricks you into thinking you’re living the same events but from different angles depending on your route) but they did not replace the old with anything new. Muriel’s route is, on the surface, about discovering and owning his past, the good and the bad. Why not tie MC’s self-discovery to that story? Or they could have taken the angle that Muriel’s route is about convincing him to be present and active in the world while MC builds an identity for themself outside of Asra, the shop, and the memories they cannot retrieve. Why not tie the investigation themes running through Portia’s early route back to MC and their past? Portia has the unique angle of being as in the dark as MC about all of this, why not discover the past together? And for goodness’ sake, Lucio has no future when his route begins, why not tie that to his need for growth, responsibility, and MC’s own future between the Fool, the Devil, or something mortal and in between?

Secondly, the routes lost their tarot backbone. We have a primer on how to get specific endings for each LI and it still holds, but the writers did not follow through on the thematic coherence of each secondary. The Hermit is looking for something, be it perspective, insight, a solution to a problem, whatever. The key here is that the Hermit must find or learn what they are searching for, this thing must change their understanding of the world, and finally, they must bring this lesson back to the world from which they retreated. Can someone please enlighten me as what exactly Muriel learns then teaches the world around him? Nothing Muriel learns from Morga, MC, or even the Hermit ties back into anything. The Devil warns that you are out of control and exerting a lot of manipulative, destructive behavior on the world around you. It asks you to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. So can someone tell me why Lucio’s route actively avoids any interaction or reflection on two of Lucio’s biggest victims: Muriel and Julian? Why does the route only try to make amends with the “easier” of his victims in the cast? The Star is first and foremost the card of clarity, the light at the end of the tunnel. Perseverance, if you will. Yet Portia’s route has been the muddiest of the trio; the writers drop the investigation aspect of her route in favor just handing her and MC information they could have easily found and muddying the waters with Tasya (she blows up the palace but it’s all okay bc she has a secret daughter Julian never thought to bring up or mention) and the complete removal of the Devil as antagonist. 

So that leaves just the Fool’s Journey trying to hold this stool up with only one leg. And well...it doesn’t go well. At best, the secondary route books pay the barest surface level homage to the themes of the individual cards. At worst, they ignore the cards completely. Muriel's Moon book has nothing to do with illusions or delusions or lies or even an Alice in the Looking Glass upside down world. Portia's back half is a complete and utter mess, starting with her Temperance book being so badly mangled that Muriel's aftermath book does it better. Lucio's route too bungles the Tower and the Star. There just isn't enough here to carry the routes alone.

Add to the core loss the loss of intertextuality. The primary routes are very good, even great but they too do have their moments and mistakes. What helps strengthen them when the cores stumble is how the trio is woven together. Things you learn in Asra's route can inform the way you play Nadia's, for example. Julian's route informs what is going on in Asra's route and slots some missing puzzle pieces together. Nadia's route tells you of the power struggles she is facing and informs the other two routes' handling of Julian and his trial. On and on, the three routes support each other because they are built out of the same basic plot beats, just tackled in very different ways. Now, the writers are allowed to try and write whatever they want. They apparently wanted to be more experimental and less tied down to an overarching plot with the three secondaries. Okay, fine, they are allowed to do that. The problem is that they sacrificed one of the key strengths of the primary trio and didn't replace said strength with anything else. They also, on some level, harmed the very premise of the game, which is that only the player's choices and route selected change the overall plot. Instead of feeling like legitimate possibilities or offshoots of the same timeline/plot, the secondaries feel almost like Arcana AUs. The secondaries throw out all relations to the primaries and each other as quickly as possible and for what? 

It is probably the height of arrogance to suggest fixes for works whose behind the scenes I do not know. At the same time, some small, obvious changes could have salvaged Muriel and maybe Lucio's endings (rip Portia). Instead of having the Hermit appear as a disappointing cameo, why not have him say something cryptic to Muriel, then have MC start trying to seal the Devil. Then let Muriel use his forget me mark to cloak MC and hide them from the Devil's attacks. Protecting MC by hiding them from Lucio, keeping him focused on Muriel, seems to me a simple third solution between Muriel's desire to run and his desire to never fight again. It lets him stand up to Lucio and let him have it while holding onto who Muriel has become. The Reversed End would have MC try to draw Lucio's attention at some point, disrupting the sealing, and eventually leading to Muriel killing the Devil. With Lucio's Upright End, I just have to ask: why doesn't MC fully claim the power of the Fool instead of the Devil? We don't need the other Arcana involved in this fight; we have three routes that demonstrate that. Just have MC pull Scout into the conflict, then have Lucio tell MC he believes in them, then add his power to the mix. You got yourself a full Fool who leaves Scout guarding the realm until they and Lucio's mortal bodies fail and they return to the realm to be together forever. Boom, you're done, you can even add some ambiguous lines so that players can decide how happy their MC is with this arrangement, send me the check.

Here is the bottom line. Our group is full of aroace, and several combinations therein, individuals. We are the last group who should have gotten into a dating sim of all things. But the Arcana did something with the primaries that was special; they wrote a compelling plot with dazzling lore, complex characters, and strong themes wrapped up in a dating sim bow. The writers know better and we know they know better. I do not know what happened with the secondaries, especially around books 10-11, which is where minor issues slowly start spiraling into major ones, but it is clear that Nix Hydra needed some more planning before they released these routes. Hopefully they will learn.

TL;DR: Nix Hydra fired their tarot consultants about eighteen months ago and it has wrecked their secondary routes until they were just embarrassments. They never intended for the secondary routes to even exist and once they had to make them, they scrambled and threw out everything that made the primaries work.

- Mod Telos

[blackwoolncrown]

6 Reasons Meta is in Trouble (yanked from NYT bc fuck a paywall)

 (Italics mine throughout. Full article con’t under the cut but I just want to comment that this is....lol bc basically Meta is buckling due to increased user privacy ability and the fact that ppl can spread their content for free via reels and tiktok. Hilarious how much their entire platform was built on the idea that a) their userbase would always grow (as in, somehow more and more ppl would constantly sign on...fucking how lol) and mining its users for invasive data skimming for ad revenue. Interestingly it says the problem with Reels is that ppl skip Reel ads, making them less lucrative/functional as paid ads but tbh IMO they generate GENUINE interest quite well. No one wants to see a fucking ad. They will see content they like and choose to follow the OP if they want to. But that’s free and Zuck can’t bank on it. The moment we have even a smidgen of a say in what it tracks (bc let’s not act like that ‘opt out’ is total), they start tanking. You love to see it. Clap your hands if you want Meta to perish!)

Meta, the company formerly known as Facebook, suffered its biggest single-day annihilation on Thursday, as its stock fell 26% and its market value fell more than $250 billion.

Its crash followed a dismal earnings report on Wednesday, when chief executive Mark Zuckerberg explained how the company was navigating a delicate transition from social media to the so-called virtual world of the metaverse. On Thursday, a company spokesperson reiterated statements from its earnings announcement and declined to comment further.

Here are six reasons why Meta is in a tough spot.

User growth has reached a ceiling.

The salad days of wild Facebook user growth are over.

Even though the company on Wednesday saw modest gains in new users across its so-called family of apps — which includes Instagram, Messenger and WhatsApp — its Facebook social networking app lost around half a million users over the past month. fourth quarter compared to the previous quarter.

It’s the first such decline for the company in its 18-year history, during which time it had been virtually defined by its ability to attract more new users. The drop signaled that the main app may have peaked. Meta’s quarterly user growth rate was also the slowest in at least three years.

Meta executives pointed to other growth opportunities, such as activating the money tap at WhatsApp, the messaging service that has yet to generate substantial revenue. But these efforts are nascent. Investors are likely to consider next whether Meta’s other apps, such as Instagram, might start to peak in user growth.

Apple’s changes limit Meta.

Last spring, Apple introduced an “App Tracking Transparency” update to its mobile operating system, essentially giving iPhone owners the choice to let apps like Facebook monitor their online activities. These privacy measures have now harmed Meta’s business and will likely continue to do so.

Now that Facebook and other apps have to explicitly ask people for permission to track their behavior, many users have opted out. This means less user data for Facebook, which makes ad targeting – one of the company’s main ways to make money – more difficult.

What’s doubly painful is that iPhone users are a far more lucrative market for Facebook advertisers than, say, Android app users. People who use iPhones to access the Internet typically spend more money on products and apps offered to them from mobile ads.

Meta said Wednesday that Apple’s changes will cost it $10 billion in revenue over the next year. The company railed against Apple’s changes and said they were bad for small businesses that rely on social media advertising to reach customers. But Apple is unlikely to roll back its privacy changes, and Meta shareholders know it.

Google steals online ad share.(lol ‘steals’ like they own it)

Meta’s problems have been the good fortune of its competitors.

On Wednesday, David Wehner, chief financial officer of Meta, noted that as Apple’s changes have given advertisers less visibility into user behaviors, many have started shifting their advertising budgets to other platforms. Namely Google.

On Google’s earnings call this week, the company saw record sales, particularly in its e-commerce search advertising. This is the exact same category that tripped up Meta over the last three months of 2021.

Unlike Meta, Google does not rely heavily on Apple for user data. Wehner said it was likely that Google had “significantly more third-party data for measurement and optimization purposes” than Meta’s advertising platform.

Wehner also pointed to Google’s agreement with Apple to be the default search engine for Apple’s Safari browser. This means Google’s search ads tend to appear in more places, collecting more data that can be useful to advertisers. This is a huge problem for Meta in the long run, especially if more advertisers switch to Google search ads.

TikTok and Reels present a conundrum.

For more than a year, Mr. Zuckerberg has pointed out what a formidable enemy TikTok is. The China-backed app has grown to over a billion users thanks to its highly shareable and weirdly addictive short video posts. And it’s in fierce competition with Meta’s Instagram for eyeballs and attention.

Meta has cloned TikTok with a video product feature called Instagram Reels. Zuckerberg said Wednesday that Reels, which features prominently in users’ Instagram feeds, is currently the main driver of engagement in the app.

The problem is that while Reels attracts users, it doesn’t make money as effectively as other Instagram features like stories and the main feed. That’s because it’s slower to make money from video ads because people tend to skip them. This means that the more Instagram pushes people to use Reels, the less money it can make for those users.

Mr Zuckerberg compared the situation to a similar time several years ago when Instagram introduced its Stories feature, which was a Snapchat clone. This product also didn’t make that much money for the company when it first debuted, although ad dollars eventually followed. Yet, there is no guarantee that Instagram Reels can repeat this magic.

Spending on the metaverse is crazy. (I really hope he blows/blew an irreparable amount of wasted dough on this awful pipedream that everyone hates, and it dies)

Mr. Zuckerberg believes so much that the next generation of the internet is the metaverse — a still-fuzzy, theoretical concept that involves people moving through different virtual and augmented reality worlds — that he’s willing to spend big on it.

So big that spending was over $10 billion last year. Mr. Zuckerberg expects to spend even more in the future.

However, there is no evidence that the bet will pay off. Unlike Facebook’s move to mobile devices in 2012, VR usage is still the domain of niche hobbyists and has yet to really break into the mainstream. Popular augmented reality headsets are also months or even years away. (It is really hard and even nauseating for many ppl to spend too long in VR so honestly I hope this  never takes off and there’s a good chance it can’t, bc real human beings need to use it and it gives them headaches)

Essentially, Mr. Zuckerberg is asking employees, users, and investors to trust him and his vision for the metaverse. It’s a big ask for something that will cost the company billions in years to come and may never come to fruition.

The specter of antitrust hovers.

The threat of regulators in Washington coming for Mr. Zuckerberg’s company is a headache that just won’t go away.

Meta faces multiple investigations, including from a newly aggressive Federal Trade Commission and several state attorneys general, into whether it acted anticompetitively. Lawmakers have also coalesced around congressional efforts to pass antitrust bills.

Mr. Zuckerberg argued that Meta is not a social media monopoly. He furiously pointed to what he calls “unprecedented levels of competition”, including from TikTok, Apple, Google and other future adversaries. (Boo hoo ;_;)

But the threat of antitrust action has made it harder for Meta to navigate new social media trends. In the past, Facebook bought Instagram and WhatsApp with little control as these services gained billions of users. Now, even some of Meta’s seemingly less controversial acquisitions in virtual reality and GIFs have been challenged by regulators around the world.

With deals being less likely, it’s up to Meta to innovate to overcome any challenges.

In the past, Mr. Zuckerberg could have benefited from doubt about his ability to do so. But on Thursday at least, faith was rare on Wall Street.

The post 6 Reasons Meta Is in Trouble appeared first on the New York Times.

[sepublic]

I just want to mention that Lilith and Eda had actually met Belos back when they were kids, according to Eda’s anecdote at the Covention. We don’t know if Lilith and Belos interacted directly, face-to-face... But given how Lilith thought about what Belos would do in her situation (wanting to join the Emperor’s Coven yet being unable to compete with Eda), and thus decided to curse Eda... I think this makes Belos even MORE responsible for Eda and Lilith’s broken relationship, and not just in the indirect way he always had with his Coven System.

Lilith is obviously still to blame too... But if Belos deliberately took the moment to teach her some toxic ideas at such a young and impressionable age, then it’s all the more eerie the impact he has on entire generations of witches- Like how in the show’s ending, we see a pair of kids building his castle out of sand, because at such a formative age they’re taught that Belos and his home is a wonderful place to fantasize about! Something fun and normalized, just a part of everyday life... And it’s so much more messed up and understandable that kids would really dedicate their dreams and lives towards joining Belos, and basically look to him as a mentor- Potentially in the absence of parents. And the worst part is that Belos knows this and it’s EXACTLY how he wants it to be... It’s so difficult for kids to unlearn that kind of thing because all of society around them is brought up under the idea that THIS is the status quo! It’s so hard to get away from this sort of thing, it’s like an abusive relationship...

So again, Lilith is still at fault- But it’s like she was almost directly manipulated and misguided in this scenario by her role model, and it’s kind of terrifying... Especially since Eda used to look up to Belos, too. Belos knows he’s a role model and thus a teacher to kids in a lot of ways, so it’s all the more terrible how he violates the sacred responsibility behind this role, and is so neglectful and disregarding of the impact he has, and/or deliberate about it... And so he’s abusing that power and influence to indoctrinate generations of witches into his control, it’s insidious. It’s a cultural impact that will be so hard to cleanse society of, to distance itself from that; Propaganda that came underneath such an innocent and innocuous disguise... It’s a moral dissonance that’s just normalized and arguably cult-like, grooming society to join the Emperor’s Coven or at least serve it. All of it is just downright predatory.

There’s a trust there that Belos is betraying and exploiting, and it’s such a contrast to how Eda avoids imprinting and projecting her beliefs onto Luz, encouraging her to form her own opinions and always be critical of what adults tell her- Eda doesn’t want to indoctrinate like Belos does, possibly after seeing how it harmed her sister... Yet at the same time, we have Odalia, Alador, and Boscha’s mother enforcing onto their kids toxic ideas of hierarchy and elitism, as well as vicariously living out old grudges through them- Using then more as tools to pass on their own ideas and agendas, rather than actual kids to carefully nurture and teach, and enable to grow healthy and independent.

It’s so heartlessly thoughtless about the kind of power they have and are abusing, the imbalance there is in the dynamic, and just how dependent and vulnerable these children are to them... It’s a blatant disregard towards letting these kids become their own people, and these people either leave children alone to figure this out, without consideration to the kind of horrible effect their influence is causing... or even intentionally keeping it this way. Careless neglect or calculated abuse, it’s still awful.

There is no consideration for a positive impact or how a kid will operate when alone, how one’s influence can have an indirect presence even when this child is by themselves and making their own decisions... That someone is going to use you as an example on what to do, they’re going to become like you- And do you want more people like yourself out in this world? Do you want to make a kid become yourself, and not their own person separate from that? They might be out of sight, out of mind to you- But for those kids, you’re always on their mind for better or worse... So you’d best be a good thing for them to think about, or else you WILL screw someone up.

Kids still make their own decisions, especially when they become adults- But there’s a reason why the choice of a child is always taken with a grain of salt, as they lack the permanence, wisdom, and independence to really account for who they are. They’re so liable to influence that you can’t quite trust if this is what they really choose, or just what someone else has imprinted upon them either intentionally or by accident... Yeah, people are always the product of their external influences, but still. Kids can’t exactly consent for a reason, and you should always seek to protect them from something they can’t take back, because they’re too young to fully consider and accept the consequences, nor deal with them if they come about.

So don’t encourage them to go down a harsh path, or at least don’t recklessly hasten them down towards it, when there’s still so much time and thus potential for other possibilities... You want to open such opportunities to someone, not cut them off and restrict them to a path predetermined by someone else, because then they’ll never be themselves. They’ll always be defined by something or someone else and never get to choose for themselves, never get to know themselves as JUST themselves...

And it’s an utter travesty to basically cripple someone like that, much less a child who has an entire life ahead of them that you cut off and destroy, a life they can’t so easily take back because they’re a kid and might not even realize what they’re losing. It’s a destruction of diversity and clipping of exploration, of new ideas and growth and possibilities. It kills off any chance of something else and thus sets in stone what is there, it’s bleak and so much more difficult to break free... You’ll never find out if they can grow or not if they don’t even have the room to do so.

You’ll never know for sure and just like the kid, you’re keeping yourself dumb and limited. You don’t just fail to pave the road for the future, you’re actively salting its earth and killing off what should’ve come to pass, preventing what should naturally occur on its own. And that in itself is a death- To mourn the happiness this kid could’ve had, the freedom and care they were entitled towards but then had taken away from them, just to further service someone with so much more power and control anyway.

It’s... a waste, really, taking away from others what they need for something pointless and unnecessary- Such as the propagation of a dictatorship or the pride of abusive parents. People like Belos or the Blight Parents didn’t just fail to provide, they kept kids from receiving and gaining in the first place, blocked this off from anyone else kinder and better and more thoughtfully responsible. They didn’t just give nothing, they added genuine ruin as well and made things worse instead of leaving them as they initially were- Because for a kid, without careful support and care to constantly uplift them, they WILL naturally get worse, it’s why you have to be so diligent to nurture, because they’re not independent yet and will collapse without care- They can’t stand on their own yet, and maybe never will if not properly taken care of.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: Truth (1x05)

Well, okay then.

Cons:

I've complained about the uneven time given to Sam and Bucky, and while I appreciate where this episode went with everything, it did shine a further light on how little Sam has had to do all season. How his growth has been happening in the background to other things. I wish the balance could have been changed a little.

I also continue to be less interested in the Flag Smashers than I am in anything else in the show. Not the ideology or how they function politically in this world, but the actual individual characters. Spending time getting to know them makes sense, it humanizes their struggles and what they're willing to sacrifice for their cause. But I just don't find Karli to be a particularly compelling individual, so it makes those scenes a slough to get through.

The opening fight scene between Sam, Bucky, and John Walker was good, but it wasn't great. The whole time I was watching it I kept thinking about the Tony/Steve/Bucky fight at the end of Civil War, three men fighting, the shield pinging between them. So much angst and desperation and history and weight to the whole thing. This fight should have been like that, but instead it felt a little more measured. Sam and Bucky are fighting to take the shield away from a dangerous man who has clearly lost control. It almost felt like they were just doing a job. Their connection to the shield was muted during the fight itself, which made that final beat, when Bucky throws the shield down at Sam's side and walks off, hit a little less hard.

And that's one other thing - I loved the Sam and Bucky talk, of course I did. Bucky needed to apologize and it was great to see. But what changed Bucky's mind? We see Sam's journey, but Bucky starts the episode still in that mindset of blaming Sam, and then he comes and helps with the boat, and then he apologizes. What made him realize that he needed to adjust his perspective? I wish I could have understood that a bit more. The only scene we get of him on his own is with Zemo, and that bit of closure seems wholly disconnected to the stuff with the shield.

Pros:

This is a small thing, but I've gotta bring it up: when Bucky is apologizing to Sam, he says "when Steve told me what he was planning"... and when I tell you I screamed... this is literally so important to me. I hate the end of Endgame for Steve. I truly do. The one thing that makes it bearable is the head-canon that he cleared it with Bucky first, that Bucky knew, before Steve left to go return the stones, what he was going to do. And now we have actual canon confirmation that that was the case! I am so incredibly moved by that, I can't even tell you.

But let's talk about that whole scene, shall we? I feel like I could ramble on about it for quite some time, but I'll just say that seeing them throw the shield around like a damn football was so... funny? But also sweet? There's something here about men and how they communicate and how hard it can be to break down the walls and be vulnerable. They manage it because they frame it around a physical activity, with the shared symbol of complicated national loyalties bouncing around between them. Also, the shared symbol of their dead friend Steve. It opens up something between them, allowing Sam to give his "tough love" advice. Allowing Bucky to give a heartfelt apology. It's the stuff they never would have said to each other in that therapy session, but they can say it now, and that's beautiful. The best moment for me, and it was really subtle, was Bucky handing the shield to Sam, saying sorry. Then Sam continues to throw it against the trees and let it bounce back, and he does it specifically so Bucky can catch it again. So there's this almost ceremonial hand-off, and then Sam, magnanimous, lets Bucky know it's still a part of him too.

And Bucky talking about the shield as his family? Yes please. I love it so much. This scene really wrapped up Bucky's arc for me on this show, in a way I hadn't known to expect. Sam tells him that Steve is gone, and that it doesn't matter what Steve thought, or what he meant. Bucky needs to stop defining himself solely by other people. This doesn't mean the struggle is over. Bucky's got a long road ahead. But he understands that road now, and Sam helped him to find his way, which I think is just the loveliest thing.

Another thing about the way these men communicate, is that the apology was necessary, and it was good that it happened, but even before that apology, Bucky showed up and helped with the boat. He fished for an invite to stay, and Sam gave it without question. They joke about being "partners", no, "co-workers," "just two guys who had a mutual friend," but the fact is, they're a part of each other's lives, and they come through for each other. Even with lingering resentments.

I'll talk briefly about Zemo here before we get into the Sam stuff in this episode... I kind of love that he went gently with the Wakandans. It was so different from what I expected, and yet it also followed logically from everything we knew about him from Civil War. It felt like a natural button to his arc on this show. And him telling Bucky that there's no resentment on his end... I mean, on the one hand, I sure as fuck would hope not, given what Zemo tried to do to Bucky. But also that's the point, isn't it? Sam says as much during the tough love speech. Bucky needs to make amends by being of service, by giving closure to the people he hurt as the Winter Solider. Even if they were bad people. Even if they don't "deserve" it.

I still worry about the optics of Sam taking on the shield instead of retiring it permanently. But I was impressed by how far the show was willing to go in explaining the weight of that choice. Isaiah doesn't say some party line like "I love America but these were some bad people." He doesn't say "things were bad then but they're better now." No. He says the truth, which is that America did this to him. It wasn't one bad actor sneaking through an otherwise benevolent system. It was a corrosive, systemic issue that ruined his life, separated him from his loved ones, forced him to hide away and live as a dead man. And he's telling Sam that it's still like that. Oh, sure, things have changed. But not as much as they need to, and not in the ways that really count for a lot, a lot of people.

I respect that the show laid this out, didn't pull its punches in stating this reality. Sam is being positioned as perhaps naïve, overly optimistic, in still wanting to take that pain and make something good from it. Overly optimistic? Willing to jump into situations that are too big for any one man to manage, no matter what? Well, if there's a list of qualifiers for Captain America, I'd say Sam fits the bill just as much, if not more, than Steve did.

And we see that Sam has a community, a history, a deep connection to his sister and his nephews and all the people his parents knew back in the day. I'm a sucker for a good moment like the one we got with the boat, everyone turning up to help. And then Sarah saying that they can't sell it after all... it's just so moving. Sam's fighting the big fights and the small ones, and that makes him worthy of being an exemplar of human excellence. If he wants to fight that fight while holding the shield, I would trust him to try and turn the symbol into something worthy.

Briefly, I want to talk about Lemar. That scene where John went to his parents was really interesting, because it showed that opinions on these very serious issues are by no means shared universally. You've got Isaiah saying that no black man with any self respect would ever take up the shield. Then you've got Lemar's parents saying how proud their son was to be Captain America's partner. It's a lot more complicated than people want to make it. Things would be simpler if we all agreed that America sucks and its history and legacy is negative and racist and therefore let's burn the whole thing to the ground. But there are a lot of people, a lot of black Americans, who like being Americans, who are proud to serve their country. It's not an attitude I know how to understand, but pretending it doesn't exist isn't doing anyone any favors. I like that we saw this aspect of it, too.

A couple last tidbits, moments I really enjoyed.

- Bucky flirting with Sarah.

- Sam's nephews playing with the shield, Bucky waking up and smiling at the sight.

- The super relevant, super hard to hear scene at the end of all the government officials getting ready to round up refugees and march them back across borders... like, damn.

- Bucky forgetting he has a metal arm, but then later using it to save Sam some trouble on the boat.

This was a great episode. Do I have qualms about the arc of the series as a whole? Yes I do. I'll be very curious to see where everything lands in next week's finale. But in all, this one was a winner in my books.

9/10

[real-talk-ph]

Philippine Educational Incompetence and its Effects on Students

In this world of uncertainty, students may question the true purpose of education. With this implemented ‘new normal’, we continue to experience the ambiguity of the Department of Education (DepEd), forgetting their true mission and ignoring their responsibility to properly guide students toward the future that awaits them. We belong to the majority of the students under the burden of an incompetent educational system, prioritizing quantity over quality learning. 

They say that we’re all on the same boat, when in fact, a lot of students sank and had no choice but to quit school due to the educational system, making it harder for students to adapt and catch up with all the tasks required for each subject. All points considered, why are students saying that the system is incompetent? Despite the COVID-19 pandemic causing education through the new normal, has Philippine education been incompetent ever since? Or is this mediocrity a byproduct of the pandemic and the pandemic only?

What is Education? The word is derived from Latin words educare, educere, and educatum. Education is a social institution through which society’s children are taught basic academic knowledge, learning skills, and cultural norms. It is a system which aims to synthesize the skills of individuals to maximize their learning development and optimize their knowledge (Dhaker, 2016). The ‘new normal’ is a term known to many that refers to the general term of the present situation of the world—the COVID-19 pandemic—an unusual, unprecedented, and unexpected turn of events. This has caused a surge of online learning and distanced modular learning for most if not all schools around the world (Dictionary.com, 2021). Lastly, incompetence is known as the inability to be competent; the inability to be excellent or satisfactory. It is a term utilized to describe the overall measures taken by the Philippine government throughout the new normal (Merriam-Webster.com, 2021).

As stated by Professor James Drever, education is a process in which and by which knowledge, character, and behavior of the young are shaped and molded. School includes the whole machinery of education from Kindergarten to College. A child's education begins as he enrolls in school and concludes when he graduates from college. Furthermore, the pandemic has been a global wake-up call to change our paradigms and the way we perceive the world. The new normal enforces alternative approaches to working and learning that have been both beneficial and disadvantageous to both teachers and students. 

In light of this, education can be defined as an integral component to the utmost growth of an individual as well as the maximum development of society. Just like how we try to find solutions to our own problems, the Department of Education (DepEd) and the Commission on Higher Education (CHED) have also been implementing operations and immediate actions that aim to mitigate the closure amidst COVID-19. At the height of the pandemic, educational institutions decided on remote learning as an alternative solution to this new normal. However, students are becoming deprived of their rights to receive quality education, especially with the country's state at the moment, causing a two-year hiatus on face-to-face classes and propagating the burden of self-learning. 

Students under the Philippine educational system are clearly not learning due to the fact that in lieu of increasing rates of students getting higher grades, the rates of depression among teens skyrocketed. This is due to the large number of tasks given to compensate for delayed learning—most of which are assigned to be finished before each Friday of the week. Contrary to common belief that students work better under pressure, studies show opposing results. The current at-home learning system that supposedly gives students flexibility inadvertently pressures them into finishing the tasks given, while managing their personal and social lives, most significantly, their mental health. In fact, nearly 1 in 10 young adults (8.9%) in the Philippines experience moderate to severe depressive symptoms (Puyat et. al, 2021).

CHED is the Philippines’ educational nucleus that controls the permitted school activities and regulations to be conducted by all schools nationwide. During the past year, CHED has dealt with a monstrosity of complaints and opinions from parents, teachers, and students questioning their appointed measures to alleviate the risks of providing poor education. Teachers have had to adapt to a great extent out of the typical classroom setting, transferring their skills to both online and printed modalities to cater the needs of students. Students are molded to be self-reliant, a step outside of the common role of teachers being the one to guide students completely; students are becoming their own second-teachers. With the need for guidance, parents are involved in learners’ activities—especially elementary students who are accustomed to teachers providing a larger package of guidance.

Students are pointing out the incompetence of DepEd’s educational system even more as the previous school year exposed the strict compliance of rules and regulations implemented by DepEd and CHED. The blended approach, a combination of synchronous and asynchronous teaching and learning modality, are the options considered by most of the basic education institutions. Students were told that both synchronous and asynchronous classes would be conducted, making it challenging for those with unstable internet connection and for those who are less privileged to acquire the gadgets and instruments required for better if not quality learning. Moreover, the modules and other learning materials handed out are not capable of providing a complete overview of the information from the references used, and are often incapable of gratifying the students’ requirement of substantial data.

In addition, the most dominant flaw of the present system is their negligence of the importance of the diversity of students’ capabilities. Not focusing on each of the students’ level of intelligence wastes the potential of producing quality students out of quality education. Showering students with loaded schedules because it seems to be the solution isn’t exactly the proper way to dispense supreme education for Filipinos. Only when a fish learns he is not good at climbing but good at swimming can that fish be content; only when a system learns they are inept and must focus on what teachers and students deserve, can the students and teachers be pleased with the system. 

Thus, for the students of the Philippines to be provided with brilliant education, the system itself must acknowledge that a greater number of subjects and tasks is not the operation to produce a quotient of skilled students. Especially amidst the new normal, DepEd and CHED must investigate the cause of students saying that the system is incompetent. The two primary school-related sectors of the government must understand their own mediocre implementations and curate an appropriate apparatus of learning fit for all students that is not an anti-poor program. The effects of such ineffective learning would be alleviated if the departments placed themselves in the shoes and cries of the students. Then and only then can Filipinos say that education truly is quality over quantity, not just for the present, but for the future that is reliant on the youth.

Reference List:

Dictionary definition

Rahul Dhaker, Education meaning, 2016: 

https://www.slideshare.net/rdhaker2011/education-meaning

Dictionary.com, New normal Definition & Meaning, 2021

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/new-normal

Merriam-Webster.com, Incompetence Definition, 2021

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/incompetence

J. Puyat, M.C. Conaco, J. Natividad, and M. Banal, Depressive symptoms among young adults in the Philippines: Results from a nationwide cross-sectional survey, 2021

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666915320300731

Bridge between the hook and the thesis statement

R.F. Ancheta, H.B. Ancheta, The new normal in education: A challenge to the private basic education institutions in the Philippines, 2020

https://scholar.google.com.ph/scholar?q=THE+NEW+NORMAL+IN+EDUCATION:+A+CHALLENGE+TO+THE+PRIVATE+BASIC+EDUCATION+INSTITUTIONS+IN+THE+PHILIPPINES%3F&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart

J.A. Pacheco, The “new normal” in education, 2020

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11125-020-09521-x 

[mbti-notes]

Not sure if my previous message got through. If you've watched Pixar's Soul, what are the types of Joe and 22? Do you think 22 is an esfp? TIA!

In 22's case, it's difficult for us to understand the mindset of someone who has "lived" for thousands of years but hasn't actually lived as a mortal. It's a very unique situation.

E/I: 22 does not display any real need for private time (for reorienting, recharging, reflecting, or introspecting). Her rare moments of introspection indicate that she’s not used to it or is afraid of where it will take her within. She is energetic and prone to acting, reacting, and speaking without any filter. She knows full well how to extravert but has no proper outlet for expressing extraverted energy, which produces frustration and ambivalence.

S/N: 22 does not display any affinity for abstract knowledge. Having had thousands of years to pick up knowledge from quite a wide variety of learned experts, she barely has any personal growth, let alone wisdom, to show for it (i.e. she seems stuck in perpetual adolescence). Even when she is able to repeat some of what she’s learned, it comes out terribly crude and oversimplified. One could argue that 22 has absolutely no use for abstract knowledge or is incapable of treating it as real, which points to inferior Ni as her main character weakness, if she is E. The unique state of existence in which 22 lives basically prevents her from feeling Se satisfaction, in that she’s unable to get the real, firsthand experience of living that she needs for changing her mind. She believes that she “sees through” the meaninglessness of life, but only because her experience of being alive so far has been “fake”.

T/F: 22's common judgment/evaluation patterns include: plain matter-of-fact speech, can't help investigating new facts, ultimately can't deny the facts, unsolicited advice giving, provocation, boundary pushing, manipulation, picking apart knowledge, know-it-all-ism, weak sense of self despite being very opinionated, weak/fuzzy moral values, emotional detachment, unconsciously wary of intense feelings/passions and losing control of them, defensive arrogance, defensive skepticism of anything that might violate emotional comfort zones. These are indicative of (immature) Ti and Fe. One could argue that it is through proper use of Ti that 22 finally makes a breakthrough in personal growth, i.e., she developed more willingness to correct her faulty mental model of “how life works” via performing more thorough investigation, analysis, and experimentation.

P/J: 22 is paralyzed by the paradox of choice (having too many options). Her judgment functions aren't well-developed enough to be decisive and resolute, which indicates a dominant perceiving function. She can’t make a decision about whether to live a mortal life because she isn’t able to explore the one glaring option left that would help her make the decision - actually living a mortal life. While many Js suffer indecisiveness and hate it, 22 is cool and comfortable in the stasis of paralysis without any resolution to her problem in sight, which rules out J.

Conclusion: ESTP

Joe’s character arc is largely plot driven and not really representative of his personality during normal periods. To discover his normal cognitive-behavioral patterns, it’s more important to look at the glimpses we get of his past.

E/I: Joe displays a long-running inability to connect with the external world, except through music, which rules out E. When left to his own devices, he shows little will or initiative of his own. He is quite dependent on people/circumstances to inspire him or compel him into activity. His passivity is presumably partly a result of his multiple rejections and failures in life. This changes when he dies “prematurely” and feels a strong sense of urgency to complete his life’s work.

S/N: Joe's conception of the world is very simple and straightforward. He is very single-minded and unable to access multiple possibilities, which rules out Ne. It seems that his only way of connecting to the world is through the visceral act of playing/enjoying music, which points to Se, but certainly not dominant or well-developed Se. Because he lacks the tendency/ability to introspect with depth, nuance, and complexity, Ni is probably lower than Se. One could argue that it is through the proper use of Se that Joe finally makes a breakthrough in personal growth, i.e., he became more open to experiences outside of music for appreciating life’s gifts, or put another way, he expanded his deep appreciation of music to other domains (domains that he took for granted until he lost access to them).

T/F: Joe's entire motivation in life is to follow his passion, the thing that he most loves in the world. If something doesn't impact him or his passion directly, he is oblivious to it or has difficulty processing it. His entire value system revolves around music, and his personal identity is defined by whether he succeeds in the manner that he believes a musician ought to. He unwittingly limits himself to the domain of music because it is the only thing that makes him feel good (about himself). All of this points to Fi myopia and self-absorption. His ideas and strategies for achieving goals are often quite childish or clumsy, which supports inferior Te as his major character weakness.

P/J: Joe is rigid when it comes to acknowledging and accepting new information that challenges his identity and values. His perceiving functions aren't well-developed enough to process anything but black/white, which indicates a dominant judging function. For him, there are only two aspects to existence: success or failure. He defines both extremely narrowly: success is staying true to his one passion and failure is any deviation from it. This simplistic value system distances him from the world so that he isn’t able to see the fact that his life is actually quite dull and empty (Te blindness). The utter lack of attention and adherence to the rules, conventions, and structures of the world indicates P.

Conclusion: ISFP

[punkrockpolitix]

Strap in for an Ugly Ride

by Mitch Maley — This week, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden did the most Joe Biden thing left to do in announcing that centrist NeoLiberal Senator Kamala Harris would be his running mate. The establishment left swooned and suburban liberals rejoiced, while the lunatic right clutched their collective pearls at such a “radical” choice. Meanwhile, the rest of us yawned as the stage was set for an absurd, bizarro world, alternative-reality election that will take place in the midst of the most unstable American society in modern history.

The chaos created by the 45th President of the United States has a way of wearing the reasonable mind rather thin. After all, who aside from the angry mobs of nativists does not long for a return to the normalcy of the early aughts when all we had to worry about was forever wars in the Middle East, an infinitely-expanding wealth gap, 50 million Americans without healthcare, and trade policies that had hollowed out the middle class. Sure, the children of white collar elites would continue to thrive (so long as they could avoid pill mills and heroin needles). Meanwhile, the offspring of former factory workers who couldn't afford an increasingly cost-prohibitive college education would toil in Amazon warehouses with few benefits and no shot at the kind of modest defined-benefit pensions that had allowed their parents to enjoy some modicum of prosperity in their twilight years and increasingly gloomier chances of even enjoying the social security payments that have kept millions more from abject poverty once their working days were behind them, but that was certainly a little easier to swallow than 2020 has thus far been.

Sure, automation had already begun eating away at more jobs than even offshoring had, we'd done nothing to address the climate crisis beyond symbolic, feel-good policies that avoided pissing off the wrong special interests, and the only amber waves of economic growth in the past 30 years had been driven by engineered bubbles. So what? Wall Street was happy (the stock market tripled under Obama) even if the big party was being floated by artificially-cheap credit, and besides, we could all go to sleep each night relatively certain that we wouldn't face a zombie apocalypse type situation on any given morning which is more than you can say about our current situation.

But let's not forget where things had gotten by 2016 when populist spasms on both sides of the ideological spectrum saw our traditional two party-driven political process totally upended. Harnessing the power of the internet had been largely responsible for President Obama successfully splintering the Democratic establishment in 2008, but let's not over-romanticize the grass or the roots. Obama was the product of an inter-party schism that saw a large number of career Dems break from the Clinton dynasty and its requirement for complete fealty to the party's grudge-bearing first family.

Obama was not an anomaly. He was Wall Street approved, Bilderberg-blessed and mainstream media anointed because, regardless of what others projected upon him, he was a typical center-right Dem who wouldn't rock any of those boats. Yes, the right labeled him a dangerously-radical liberal, but those who paid attention in the 2008 primary will recall that the actual semi-progressive candidate, Congressman Dennis Kucinich, had to be actively cropped out of the debates in order for that narrative to take hold. After all, it wouldn't do to have Kucinich onstage talking about Medicare for All and explaining how to get out of Iraq tomorrow any more than it would do for Ron Paul to be onstage in Republican debates calling out the NeoCon likes of Mitt Romney and John McCain.

Under Obama, the war machine kept rolling, taxes remained at historic lows, deportations skyrocketed and we expanded warrantless surveillance and other Big Brother police state tactics, including sending "surplus" tanks and other military armament to your local police forces. In other words, most of the things liberals hated most about the Bush era continued only they didn't hate them as much anymore. That said, institutional norms remained in place, our allies were quite happy and Americans, or at least those who weren't driven mad by the thought of someone with brown skin holding the highest public office, could hold their heads high knowing that they had an intelligent and articulate statesman at the helm who wouldn't embarrass them with Bush's tangled English or Clinton's infidelities. He was a family man who loved his wife and children and treated even his most vile-mouthed opponents with the courtesies of polite society. Yes, it's easy to grow nostalgic for such normalcy in the age of Trump.

However, years of bailing out Wall Street banksters who'd crashed the economy, allowing hedge fund managers to pay lower tax rates than teachers and failed companies to hand out huge bonuses often paid for by the taxpayers themselves took its toll. Millions of Americans who'd seen their homes foreclosed upon were scolded for buying into the worthless products being pushed by those same banksters—reverse mortgages, sub-prime interest-only loans, etc.—and lectured about "personal responsibility" and the "moral hazard" of bailing them out, even as those same fat cats who'd been rescued themselves swooped in to buy up all of those empty houses for cheaply-borrowed pennies on the dollars in order to make money hand over fist renting them back to the creditless schmoes who'd been kicked to the curb. It turns out a lot of people were fed up.

Enter Bernie Sanders and Donald J. Trump, two men, as different as can be, who nonetheless each managed to harness enough of the sometimes dangerous power of populist anger to finally upset the apple cart that had been two-party politics. While their platforms were radically different, the essential nature of their messaging was the same: you're getting screwed and have been for a long time. Their message was particularly well-received by working-class whites in formerly industrial states who'd been ignored by both parties for decades, beyond rhetoric from the right about it being the fault of illegal immigrants and rhetoric from the left about educational programs that would retrain the working class for the jobs of tomorrow. Regardless of whether they believed in or even understood the solutions either candidate was offering didn't matter so much as someone at last acknowledging that the reality they'd been experiencing actually existed.

The Clinton machine, with the DNC's foot on the scale and the MSM distorting perception, was able to (barely) keep Sanders at bay. Meanwhile, the GOP may have been able to do the same had it not been for the sheer giddiness of legacy media outlets like WAPO, the New York Times, MSNBC and CNN for what they saw as the death of the modern Republican party should it actually nominate a crass, foul-mouthed blowhard of a third-rate reality TV star (who'd until recently been a Democrat) for President. Make no mistake, Clinton's people desperately wanted to take on Trump, believing it amounted to not only an easy win, but a path toward retaking Congress, despite having been gerrymandered out of contention (for those of you who came to politics late, the GOP's electoral success in 2010, saw them take over a majority of state legislatures just ahead of the once-every-decade reapportionment that follows a census, allowing the party to gerrymander Congressional districts to such a degree that Democrats could not gain ground, despite regularly receiving millions more total Congressional votes than Republicans each cycle).

Everyone inside the beltway was caught sleeping in 2016. The Republican establishment never saw Trump coming and didn't know what to do with him when he arrived. Remember how sad Jeb Bush seemed in the debates? Remember how ineffective Marco Rubio was when he tried to sink to Trump's name calling? By the same token, the Democrats were so tone-deaf as to who Bernie was appealing to (far more aging New Dealers and working-class labor Democrats than the teen radicals they imagined) that they actually thought making trans-bathroom laws a wedge issue would drive turnout for their side. Imagine living in Michigan and working the counter at a Dollar General because the stamping factory you used to work at moved to Mexico, wondering whether your kid's rehab from Oxycodone would finally stick this time while being told that the real fight to be won was about where the gender fluid would take a leak.

That's not to say that trans rights aren't a worthy issue, so much as to point out how out of touch you would have had to have been to think it was a winning one in that moment of time. And if you think there was something more altruistic behind it, ask yourself how much energy has been expanded by the party on the same subject since. Like abortion-related ballot referendums used by Republicans to drive evangelicals to the polls, out-of-touch Beltway Dems thought that identity politics was the path to uniting the left-wing of their party and getting the Bernie crowd to turnout for Hillary, even after the DNC got caught smoothing her path to victory. After all, the donor class Dems never mind looking woke, especially if it prevents them from having to get behind things like a living minimum wage that might actually mean less coins falling into their coffers. And that my friends is what created the relatively small yet curious "I voted for Bernie in the primary and Trump in the general" demographic, not sexism, spite or misogyny.

Fast-forward to 2020 and Bernie is finally poised to emerge as the resistance candidate. Despite the MSM again selling alternative facts that kept explaining away his success, his path to the nomination looked inevitable until the Democratic establishment again intervened, this time with Obama in the role of Clintonesque king maker, convincing moderate establishment favorites Pete Buttiegeg and Amy Klobuchar to take one for the team ahead of Super Tuesday so that a path could be cleared for a sputtering Biden campaign to claim the nomination. For his part, Biden's 40-year record is as right of center as a Democrat can be without going full Joe Lieberman, so the remaining question was how not to repeat 2016 in alienating so much of the left-wing as to ensure Trump another four years.

Then, like a gift from the political gods, Trump began shooting himself in the foot so frequently in his responses to the pandemic and civil unrest that his approval rating—which has never even hit 50 percent even once during his presidency (not surprising considering he won the White House with a smaller share of the vote than either Romney or John Kerry managed in losing)—sunk to a pathetic 35 percent, convincing the NeoLiberal bosses that it was no longer necessary to kiss any rings on the far left. Bernie, Elizabeth Warren and even Tulsi Gabbard and AOC had already bent a knee to Uncle Joe, imploring their supporters to vote blue no matter who, so why not instead go after the moderate Republicans and Bush-era Never Trumpers whose ideology make the Democratic donor class feel much more comfortable than the progressive left’s anyway?

Enter Kamala Harris, who, to the Democratic donor class at least, signals nothing less than a female Barack Obama. And they’re not exactly wrong in that she’s a highly-articulate, ideologically-flexible politician capable of putting a friendly, progressive veneer on the modern NeoLiberal platform. That’s probably why the left-leaning corporate media outlets tried so hard to give her a push in the primary, even though voters simply didn’t find her to be a compelling candidate. Despite a healthy fundraising machine and the focused attention of MSNBC and CNN, Harris didn’t even make it to Iowa, dropping out ahead of what surely would have been a bottom tier finish in her home state of California. In that sense, it’s hard to see what she brings to the ticket in terms of electoral success. Fortunately, she won’t have to deliver her home state, but while much has been made of the fact that she’s the first woman of color to be on a major party ticket, it’s worth noting that there’s little to suggest she’ll help turn out the African American vote as most polls had her fourth of fifth even among black voters, who preferred Biden, Warren and even Sanders over the Senator from California.

As long as we’re on the subject of Harris’s race, however, it’s worth noting that the we're-not-racist right immediately went down the rabbit hole with birther conspiracies disgustingly-similar to those used against Obama that, within moments of the announcement, were used to question her eligibility to ascend to the presidency and fear monger that it was all a plan to install Nancy Pelosi when an aging Biden stepped down soon after being elected. Harris was born in the United States and, furthermore, born to two U.S. citizens. Her eligibility shouldn’t be in question to anyone who’s taken a junior high civics class, yet from what we’ve seen already, I’m sure it won’t be long until someone asks to see her birth certificate.

That said, despite the RNC's painting Harris as the most radical choice possible, her politics are no more progressive than Biden's, as evidenced by the two articles in the Wall Street Journal about Wall Street “breathing a sigh of relief” at her selection. In fact, one of the audition rounds for the veepstakes included hosting a Biden fundraiser and insiders have suggested that it was deep-pocketed Obama donors and not Uncle Joe himself who put her over the top. In Harris, the NeoLiberal establishment has all but cordoned off the progressive wing of the party, perhaps for a decade to come. Like Obama, she allows them to market a progressive package to make affluent suburban liberals feel good without making Wall Street, Big Pharma, Big Tech, or the military industrial complex the least bit nervous. In fact, in a communication to investors, Goldman Sachs essentially said that even if it means the Trump tax cuts go away, the stability and predictability of a Biden administration would be at least as good for the 1 percent's bottom line.

To hear the Trump campaign tell it, however, Biden's selection of Harris is nothing less than a signal that, in his cognitive decline, Sleepy Joe has acquiesced to becoming nothing more than a puppet for far left radicals like Bernie, AOC and the rest of The Squad. In their narrative, if elected, he’d be doing the bidding of Antifa, while doing away with everything from God and religion to guns and even the suburbs, and the dangerously radical Harris is only further proof of that. In one of their weirdest turns yet, the Trump campaign is literally showing clips of what America has become under Trump himself and warning that this is what will happen if Biden is elected and only by reelecting the man that brought it to you in the first place and has failed to end it by uniting the country (or even trying) can you stop our present from becoming our future. When taken literally, it is a message that says the world I brought you is the world my opponent will bring you and the only way you can stop that from happening is by keeping the guy who brought it to you! If that doesn't make sense, congratulations, you're not an imbecile.

However, if you buy the narrative that the radical left has taken over the Democratic Party then I'm sorry to report that such may not be the case. Biden-Harris is literally the most Law & Order ticket I can imagine either party fielding. It’s the guy who brought us the Crime Bill, supported the private prison industrial complex and paved a smooth road for Clarence Thomas paired with the AG who wanted to jail young single mothers whose kids missed too much school, blocked access to DNA evidence of the wrongfully convicted, supported marijuana criminalization and pretty much accumulated the least progressive record any prosecutor could ever hope for. 

So no, Harris's pick wasn't to appease the progressive left. It was a middle finger to them, just like the initial convention lineup which didn't even feature AOC or Andrew Yang, the two stars of that set. Meanwhile, NeoCon warmonger John “life starts at the first heartbeat” Kasich is in primetime, along with Jeb Bush acolyte Anna Navarro. AOC finally got space for a 60-second pre-recorded (read vetted) afternoon spot, and the Yang Gang was able to kick and scream until their candidate was given a low-billing slot as well. In other words, if you don’t see that the progressive left is not only not running the show at the DNC but is all but powerless in the party’s politics, you’re simply not paying attention.

Why are NeoLiberals more interested in Bush-era Republicans than the media rock stars on the left who seemingly hold the future votes of the party in their hands? Simple, there's less of a difference in platforms, which means unlike working with the left, they don't really have to give anything up to court NeoCons. That’s because the age of Trump has seen those Republicans give up on social issues they never actually cared that much about from gay marriage to abortion in exchange for a seat at the table on the issues they do—things like energy policy, deregulation, aggressive foreign policy and, above all, jockeying their snoots into the trough of money that the winning team gets to eat from.

Excited because a Black Lives Matter protester is going to Congress? Slow down, Ace, as the hallowed halls are also about to get their first QAnon member. We've reached peak lunacy under Trump, this much is true, but the wheel has spun back to same old song and dance, remixed for 2020. The American empire is falling apart and one side is offering four more years of the lunatic king, while the other is betting that such a thought will scare voters enough to accept the same brand of politics that brought us that President in the first place. All that remains to be seen in whether Dems finally got the calculus correct. Are progressives so infuriated by life under Trump that they'll vote blue no matter who, or have they picked off enough white suburban Republican women for it not to even matter? We'll find out, though likely not until weeks after November 2, assuming we aren't fighting each other in the streets by then.

Dennis “Mitch” Maley has been a journalist for more than two decades. A former Army Captain, he has a degree in government from Shippensburg University and is the author of several books, which can be found here. 

[bigskydreaming]

So, okay. The posts about how psychodrama and exposure therapy have been used effectively to treat PTSD. Sigh. Oh boy. Okay, see, because the thing is they’re not wrong, on a technical level. But they’ve been so completely stripped of context ie the specific HOW and in WHAT WAYS those are ACTUALLY deemed helpful rather than perpetuating self-harm - as to be quite misleading, IMO.

Disclaimer that I am not a licensed therapist, and I do not claim to be. I am just a survivor whose done a crapton of coping in various ways in my life, and researched just about every school of thought there is on these subjects, as well as interacted with a plethora of other survivors of all types in a variety of settings like support groups, one on one conversations, etc. Do with the following whatever you want. I’m not sourcing this because none of it stems from a singular source other than the accumulation of all the reading and talking with professionals and other survivors and own experiences and whatnot. Evaluate what I’ve put in this posts on its own merits, take away what seems worth following up on, even if just as a starting place for your own research, dismiss it entirely because of my lack of a PhD, whatever. Entirely up to you. I’m merely writing it down because its in my head either way. I’m happy to discuss what I have to say here, but I’m not gonna engage with potshots at my credibility that are largely focused on semantics or just my lack of credentials. I don’t have the time or the patience for that, so don’t be surprised if I just ignore that shit. Anyway. Moving on: 

There are many, many different types of trauma, and even trauma stemming from abuse or rape can be so different in so many key respects, that what is helpful for one person can absolutely be the exact opposite for another. This is why I generally stay away from “I write dark smut because its my coping mechanism” arguments - I have enough trouble getting people to argue my actual points when there’s barely any room for misinterpretation....I have a migraine already at the thought of how people will spin my stance on this out of context.

But the thing is....given the varying degrees and types and contexts and dynamics and effects different instances of abuse and rape have on individuals....I’ve never and I never will argue that there is zero validity to the idea that anyone has ever been helped to work through their traumas by writing certain things. There’s just no way I, or anyone, is qualified to make that claim. BUT, the flip side of that coin is it is equally unilaterally impossible AND IRRESPONSIBLE, IMO, to blithely trot out the idea that writing and reading dark fiction as a coping mechanism is universally harmless and most likely to result in positive growth rather than negative stagnation or even backsliding into more active states of trauma.

So take something like roleplaying and psychodrama as tools for helping a survivor deal with their trauma....absolutely there’s a place for that. BUT whether or not it will likely be to a person’s benefit and healing rather than counter-productively reinforcing negative mindsets or behaviors - depends almost ENTIRELY on WHAT a therapist’s aims are in using psychodrama as one of their tools. What explicitly they think it has to contribute towards a patient’s specific situation and issues.

Because the thing is, psychodrama is essentially a tool for INSIGHT. Nothing more, nothing less. It essentially has a patient roleplay either themselves in a recreation of a past traumatic event or time period, but in a controlled setting and with someone to guide them through it....or in other instances, has the patient roleplay themselves in the role of their abuser or attacker. 

Its ultimately a way of putting someone in their own shoes during a prior event, or the shoes of someone else present for it or involved in it....and viewing the event with fresh eyes, from new angles, given that they now have the distance and the awareness of its lack of ‘realness’ to focus not just on their fear or panic of the time, but going through the motions of the event while now able to spare attention and focus for what was happening OUTSIDE their tunnel-visioned panic of the time, or what might have been going through the heads of the other people involved.

So again, as a tool for insight and information gathering or paradigm-breaking, it has a wide range of potential applications. It absolutely can and does help a number of people heal in a number of ways. Using psychodrama and roleplaying recreations of past events and their aftermath can help someone understand why they reacted in certain ways, why they developed certain behaviors or tendencies in its aftermath or in their attempts to recover. It can be used to help demonstrate to a survivor that they’re being too hard on themselves, expose the lie of ‘if only I’d done this instead, everything could have gone differently’ that many survivors use to punish themselves. 

It can be used with survivors who are struggling to understand why and how someone could do this to them, or especially with survivors of abuse who worry about the possibility of becoming just like their abuser, continuing a cycle of abuse and harm because of how they’ve internalized what was done to them, or attempted to justify it over the years. 

Using these techniques and methodologies can help put a survivor in the driver’s seat of a recreation, essentially, have them roleplay their own attacker, with an impartial professional available to act as a soundingboard and fact checker for their own decision-making process throughout the recreation - ie periodically asking “now are you saying you’d do that next because its what YOU want to do in that role, or because its what you assume your abuser would want to do there?” And thus it can help reassure an abuse survivor that ultimately, they just don’t think the way their abuser likely did, and despite their fears, their thought processes do not lend themselves towards the chain of actions and reactions that would likely result in perpetrating certain abusive behaviors themselves.

HOWEVER.

The caveat that I pretty much never see in posts citing the use of these techniques in healing from trauma, is that for every potential application, there’s another instance or way in which these techniques have no value, and in fact can cause harm. For instance, not every survivor struggles with why someone would do to them what they did, what they must have been thinking to hurt them in this way. Some survivors have simply no desire to wonder what was going through their attacker’s head...it means nothing to them, and offers nothing to help them with what’s in their own heads. So as a tool for information gathering or discovering new angles to a past trauma, its meaningless at best.

Similarly, these kinds of ideas or techniques attempted without an experienced and impartial observer present for the recreations can do just as much harm as they have potential to help. For instance, if someone has struggled with self-blame ever since a traumatic event, convinced themselves that it might be their own fault, because they did or didn’t do certain things....these kinds of recreations and roleplaying present a very tricky tightrope to walk. 

If the survivor ISN’T able to fully make the distinction between their panic, adrenaline fueled thoughts and reactions of the time, and their own more capable and clinical view of the recreated scene due to the safety and comfort of their current danger-free environment...then its entirely possible, and likely, to come up with ideas or alternative actions or choices that theoretically could have allowed them to manipulate the situation towards a less traumatizing conclusion, or perhaps allowed them to avoid it happening at all. 

Thus, by coming to these ‘conclusions’ via the psychodrama role-playing, a survivor has actually given their brains MORE ammunition to use against them when thinking that its their own fault their trauma happened, because they did x instead of these now clearly defined alternative choices they’ve thought up....and failed to healthily internalize as things they could not reasonably expect themselves to have thought of at the time.

See what I mean?

Similarly, exposure therapy is....oof. Yikes. I have a lot of thoughts about its validity as a tool for helping with PTSD and associated trauma responses and aftermath. I’m perfectly aware that they’ve had enormous success with using virtual reality type programs to treat soldiers’ PTSD in a variety of ways.

The thing is though, prior to the viability of such technology, exposure therapy has almost unilaterally been used to treat ANXIETY disorders, specifically. Such as with people who experience various phobias.

Because....anxiety is largely irrational/instinctive in these types of things. They’re a person undergoing a panic response to varying degrees, in response to a threat or danger that’s largely imagined....based either on memories triggered by a similarity in their environs to the setting of a past trauma, or by hypothetical extrapolations off of various stimuli, or sometimes, just completely irrational lines of thinking.

So essentially, the varying applications of exposure therapy as a method of treatment for anxiety disorders specifically....is that by inducing an encounter with the root fear of the patient, but in a controlled environment where they’re in no possible danger, a therapist can theoretically enhance a patient’s awareness of the irrationality of their fears. They can empirically guide a patient through an understanding of how their mind is playing tricks on them and imagining or embellishing threats that objectively are not a possibility at the moment. And from there, help a patient build a mental toolbox of thoughts and thought processes they can pull out and use as tools when their anxieties threaten to overwhelm them...and they need a way to establish an anchor to objective reality and separate imagined threat from real surroundings....to detect and affirm when something is just their mind playing tricks on them again.

The problem here lies in the fact that this is largely only useful in helping ground people in the reality of things not usually being the threat or danger they imagine them to be. But what exposure therapy can NOT do, is ‘expose’ a survivor to a reconstruction of the conditions of their past trauma, or a ‘scene’ that plays out similarly to the way their trauma did....and reassure them there’s nothing to be afraid of there, because their fears and anxiety in the scene being recreated....WERE VERY MUCH REAL AND VALID.

Now, one possible use of exposure therapy in terms of singular event-born PTSD....is in helping survivors deal with specific TRIGGERS. Using exposure therapy techniques in controlled settings and with professionals to guide survivors through a session of this.....therapists can expose survivors to various stimuli-based triggers, and much as with phobias, a patient can be walked through a more objective awareness and understanding of the fact that although their triggers based on this specific trauma are completely understandable and valid....they are statistically unlikely to act as a forewarning or precursor to ANOTHER instance of their root trauma, and thus do not present a rational fear that a survivor needs the fight or flight response they’ve conditioned themselves to have upon experiencing these triggers. As with phobias, this allows patients to assemble a variety of tools to use to counter the psychological and physiological effects of encountering these specific triggers.

But this isn’t the same thing as treating the fears and anxieties born of worrying something like their trauma might ever happen again, period. Because those fears are categorically...with merit. Survivors are just as vulnerable to abuse and sexual assault as non-survivors, and statistically speaking are more likely to be prone to greater likelihoods of revictimization than non-survivors are of being victimized initially. For a variety of reasons. But basically...exposure therapy can’t help a survivor be reassured there’s nothing to be afraid of....when it can’t guarantee that. Nobody can.

Now, like I said, there’s been considerable success with treating the PTSD of soldiers with VR-based exposure therapy. But again, context is hugely important here. Because war is in and of itself, a viable setting. Soldiers who get PTSD as a result of battlefield trauma, and then go home....well, some of the most common symptoms in their case tend to be flashbacks and an inability to distinguish past from present...essentially, many often find themselves feeling like they’re right back there in the heat of battle where they were initially traumatized. 

So in their cases, in terms of THIS specific manifestation of PTSD....VR exposure therapy has a lot of merit, as using it, therapists can guide their patients back and forth between grounded, objective reality, and virtual reality environments that have been programmed to simulate the wartime environments their PTSD episodes transport them to. In doing so, therapists can help anchor their patients’ awareness in the reality that they are no longer in that wartime environment. That its not real, that future encounters with it are the product of artificial constructs their brains have produced. They can establish clear boundaries between real, and not real, and as described previously, help them assemble tools for objectively breaking down the false reality their PTSD creates for them in the future, break through to the present time and place underneath.

But see how this technique fundamentally can’t work to help anchor triggered survivors through PTSD episodes, more generally speaking, and not just in terms of coping with specific triggerings? A soldier can be made empirically aware that he is not experiencing his root trauma again here and now, because it relies on him being in that wartime environment, and empirically, he is no longer in that wartime environment. A rape survivor, in contrast, can not be made empirically aware they can’t be experiencing another rape or threat of another rape here and now....because there is no empirical proof that what happened once can’t and won’t happen in similar settings possessing the triggers they’re reacting to, or just in any future settings at all.

Which brings me to exposure therapy relying on recreations of past traumas via written fictional scenes.

In theory, all the ingredients are there. A controlled, safe environment - wherever the survivor reading or writing the scene is. The ability to end the scene whenever it gets to be too much - via simply putting down the story or stepping away from writing it. Everything needed to reassure a survivor, while experiencing a simulation of their trauma that might very well still feel viscerally real at times, due to how well or intensely its written....nevertheless, all the ingredients are here for the survivor to ultimately put the necessary distance between the recreation and themselves, and from that distance, more impartially observe that its not real, it can’t hurt them, their trauma is in the past and its behind them.

The problem here is that ironically, there’s TOO MUCH distance between survivors and the recreations. Because of the very nature of fiction as a medium.

See, the thing that can’t be stressed enough, is no matter how well or accurately or in as much detail as you recreate or simulate the environment and conditions of a rape or setting of an abusive event.....rape and abuse, at the end of the day, are not inherently about specific events, interactions, causes and effects.

Rape and abuse are DYNAMICS.

The trauma isn’t born of the physical acts being recreated. The trauma is born of the aggressor having taken something ephemeral from the victim, as well as the physical effects of their actions.

Basically, the problem with using fiction as a recreation of say, someone’s rape.....is that the essential, fundamental element of the rape that MAKES it a rape....is the sexual agency or autonomy the rapist strips their victim of, takes from them. Because rape ultimately isn’t about sex, its about power. Sex is merely the medium by which a rapist TAKES that power. But the crime, the heart of the trauma, the thing that makes it linger long past any physical injuries...is the rapist having used sex to exert power over their victim, make them feel lesser in that moment, and in recollections of that moment.

And this element CAN NOT EXIST in fiction. By virtue of them being fictional characters. They’re not real. There is no power for the fictional rapist to take from their fictional victim....ONLY THE SIMULATION OF IT.

Because when I said fictional recreations ironically have too much distance.....I meant because EVERY consumption of fictional scenes by their very nature....have a degree of distance between the reader or viewer and the fiction. There’s an implicit awareness of this EVERY TIME SOMEONE SITS DOWN TO WATCH TV OR READ A BOOK. These are little rituals we each have done too many times for them to NOT be ingrained on some primal, fundamental level, deep in our lizard brains where the knowledge and awareness that these things can NEVER hurt us, that we are ALWAYS in a safe and controlled environment wholly separate from the things that we might be afraid of.

There is a REASON that military vets treated this way use VR technology for their recreations. That the theory had to wait for the technology to catch up to it before it could be viable in specific respects at all. That its not enough to sit soldiers down in a room and just play war movies over and over until the therapist shuts off the TV and reestablishes the ‘real world.’

Because ultimately, we simply are not capable of willfully divorcing ourselves from reality and fully immersing in a fictional recreation that exists just on TV or on the page. There is always a part of us that remains firmly anchored in reality and cognizant of that...

And as a result, there is only so far we can ever project ourselves into a fictional recreation....which means ultimately, we always are going to hit a wall there. No matter how much we identify with one of the characters, project ourselves into their shoes, there is always a basic awareness that we are not them, and we are not facing the danger they are. 

Which means no matter HOW good or detailed or accurate or emotionally resonant the words on the page are, as they describe each moment of the interaction between aggressor and victim that seems to the reader or writer to otherwise be a perfect recreation of what happened to them....there is simply NO WAY to recreate the one explicitly essential element of that specific trauma....the taking of power, from the one character by the other. Because between the two fictional characters, there is no actual power dynamic, and no actual exchange of power taking place.

Only the APPEARANCE of it.

And as a result, a survivor might very well FEEL helped via this particular coping mechanism, with them handling exposure to such a recreation much better than they did the first handful of times. But is this actually healing, or could it just as easily be termed desensitization? Because the thing they’re taking in, internalizing is NOT a perfect transportation to the circumstances of their rape and the successful emergence out the other side with newfound awareness of having been safe from harm the whole time.

Without any way to even pretend that the dynamic being witnessed from a distance has actually resulted in a theft of agency rather than merely the appearance of it.....what’s left? What actually sits there, described so vividly on the page?

Sex.

Because just like rape isn’t really sex so much as its the taking or asserting of power VIA sex...the image or description of one person raping another without the actual taking or assertion of power....basically just looks a lot like sex.

Which incidentally, IMO, might have a fucking LOT to do with how fucking bad our society is at noting the difference between sex and rape, and the fact that they’re not interchangeable or one and the same. And why rape survivors so often face slut-shaming and victim-blaming and are accused of actually wanting it.

Because when you’ve been conditioned by a lifetime of fictional media consumption to equate rape with the sex you SEE or READ about, as being basically the entirety of it and the intangible elements of it just abstract to you.....its very easy to look at a survivor and see not someone who had something intangible but very much REAL stolen from them via sex....but just a person who had bad sex they didn’t like.

And THIS, more than anything else, is what I personally view as the greatest ramification of widespread rape fantasies and noncon fics in fandom: that there is ultimately a ceiling on how much it can help any or every survivor cope or heal from their trauma - even while acknowledging that there are surely some specific contexts or combinations of elements in some individuals’ traumas that allow for fictional recreations to still largely serve the function those survivors aim to get out of them - but again, in terms of a coping mechanism that’s universally applicable or viable for all survivors of all scenarios? 

Nuh uh. No way. There’s no possible chance of making that claim in all honesty, and without making that claim, even the argument of it being a successful coping mechanism for SOME survivors in some specific ways, does not validate the ease with which its trotted out as a truism for all survivors to take heed of and all nonsurvivors to respect.

But MEANWHILE, at the same time, an equally inevitable end result of these fics.....is the continued desensitization of readers en masse, to the reality of rape as a theft of something intangible, impossible to fully recreate or depict as an experience, except in reality or potentially, some day in virtual reality. 

It inevitably serves to perpetuate the unspoken and perhaps sometimes even unconscious view, that rape is ultimately just sex of a certain kind. And so more and more, it becomes viewed as something that has the capacity to titillate and arouse....the same as any other form of sex, obviously. Because why wouldn’t it....if ultimately, that’s all its treated as being? 

[gentlelarkspur]

Coming of Age in Good Omens

I know we talk a lot about Good Omens being a love story, but I feel like we don’t talk enough about Good Omens being a coming of age story. Not just for Adam and The Them (though it definitely is that) but for most the protagonists involved (with the exception, imo, of Shadwell and Madam Tracy). 

So a coming of age story is generally defined as something along the lines of a story that focuses on the “psychological and moral growth” of characters from “youth to adulthood”. In more detail, it usually runs like this:

At the beginning of the story, childhood has already been left behind, and the hero has concluded that the world is not a safe or blissful place. An event that occurred prior to the beginning of the story, or the hero’s overall situation, has made the hero feel lost or stuck in a world over which she has little or no control [eg. the coming of the antichrist]

After the hero’s introduction in the setup of the story, he is presented with an Opportunity that will either make life even worse [eg. the looming promise of war & the apocalypse], or will hold the promise of some escape from his pain [eg. stop the apocalypse]. In response, these heroes’ outer motivations are declared, and their pursuit of those goals begins.

As with any character arc, it is in this journey that their transformation occurs. But in coming of age stories, the conflicts the characters face force them to realize that they are now on their own, that parents, friends and society will not save them, and they must rely on themselves. And with this painful realization comes each hero’s individuation. He now defines himself and stands up for who he is – usually in defiance of parents or figures of authority.

-- From Michael Hauge’s Story Mastery website, emphasis and examples inserted are mine (x) 

We generally associate coming of age stories with children or YA narratives. However, the transformative process involved in these types of narratives don’t HAVE to be restricted to a certain age group (and more importantly, they really SHOULDN’T be; we are, all of us, in a constant iterative process of self-understanding and growth). 

So who is coming of age in Good Omens? The obvious first answer is Adam and his friends. They are young, just on the edge of puberty and starting to recognize that change is coming, even if it’s not quite there yet. Adam coming into his power and having to make choices about what that means for him and the world, the boys realizing they can’t engage with Pepper like they used to because now it causes strange feelings, Pepper becoming aware of the new treatment and not liking it, and the line about how there will “never be another summer like this one”, all point to the psychological and moral transformation that Adam and The Them have experienced during the events of the non-apocalypse, many of which are only tangentially related to the supernatural.

However, that’s just one version of the processes described above. If we look at the other characters involved in the narrative, we can see that those same transformative processes are happening in different iterations to other, less obvious protagonists.

Anathema is probably the second most obvious. She’s a young woman who has been guided by parental influences her entire life-- not only her actual parents, but also by the near-omniscient eye of Agnes. She has lived in a bubble of Agnes’ making, one in which Anathema’s autonomy is nearly nonexistent. But in the course of meeting her destiny, Anathema begins to grow suspicious that the world is not everything that she thought it was, that her destiny is not as easy or clear-cut as she believed. And ultimately, Anathema’s real moment of transformation and power --of coming-of-age-- happens when she must make the choice to shrug off Agnes’ parental hand and stand on her own in the face of an unsure, unseen future.

Likewise, to a weaker degree, Newton’s journey starts in a childlike state of bumbling aimlessly from one activity to another, to get him out of his parent’s house (and his rather sheltered life) and away from their parental questions. In the Witchfinder Army, he follows the dictation of Shadwell. It’s not until he starts to take actions into his own hands, to make real choices, that he starts to stand on his own.

And then there’s Aziraphale and Crowley.

Aziraphale and Crowley who have, for 6000+ years, played on the edge of rebellion against the rules and standards set for them by their respective factions but who, until the events of the narrative, have always ultimately fallen back into line (at least enough to maintain the “protection” afforded to their stations).

Aziraphale, somewhat youthfully, clings for much of the narrative to the notion that ultimately his side is right and good, and that his misgivings are just a misunderstanding between him and heaven. He insists on clinging to this illusion, even when mounting evidence is placed before him, because it affords him the safety and protection of (and from) heaven, or at least he continues to believe that it will. He continues to cling to the authority of the Great Plan and the angels and the meager shelter it provides, because to do otherwise would go against everything he had been taught in his life and expose him to an unspoken but very real danger. 

Crowley, though much more disillusioned with both factions as a whole, maintains enough of a state of denial that the realization that events for the apocalypse are actually in place shakes him to his very core. He has insulated himself internally from the abusive authority that he lives under while avoiding rocking the boat, much like people in abusive households develop maladjusted coping mechanisms in order to survive life under the authority of their abusers when they aren’t in a position to escape.

Both of them spend the narrative coming to terms with the destruction of their current world views, the destruction of the (false) sense of security in their own safety and positions within heaven & hell’s societies, and the destruction of their own self-image as an angel or demon (and what that means to them as individuals) respectively. 

The ultimate result of this destruction is the realization that the only people that can save them (and the world) are themselves, that they are on their own (and on their own side), and that they must shrug off their former allegiances in order to take up their own moral and physical autonomy in the world, even if that means defying the institutions/authorities they have been devoted to for 6000+ years in order to achieve that autonomy. 

That is to say, Good Omens is, quintessentially, a coming-of-age story. It just so happens that its the coming of age story of four preteen kids, two young adults, and two non-human supernatural entities that are over 6000 years old.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 109: Last One Out of Beach City

“What if I told you that the world was gonna end, and you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends?”

Steven and the Stevens and Hit the Diamond are my two favorite episodes of Steven Universe for reasons I’ve written about at length, but beyond encapsulating the essence of the series and characters and all that, it should be noted that they’re just plain fun. Last One Out of Beach City is smaller in scale, zeroing in on one of the show’s earliest defined relationships and basking in its evolution from a feud to a deep friendship, so it’s harder to use as a stand-in for the show as a whole. But even if it isn’t my third-favorite episode of the series, it stands hand in hand with my top two when it comes to the charm factor.

Last One Out of Beach City is a delight from start to finish. Jesse Zuke’s legendary “Bad Pearl” sketch comes to life in the best way imaginable, and Deedee Magno Hall solidifies her place as my MVP of a killer lineup of voice actors. Actual human being Mike Krol gets tossed into this alternate universe like it was nothing. Crimes are committed. Swears are censored by screeching tires. Juice is spat. Cups, spilt.

This is the promise of Zuke’n’Florido’s brilliant opening sequence of Beta fulfilled: Steven and some Gems hanging out not for half an episode, but an entire one. It’s got sight gags aplenty, supplementing some of the best comedy writing in the series, mixed with the soul-warming joy of watching characters we love getting along. So lest I just turn this review into gushing about individual jokes and lines and moments, let’s dive into why each character we see is terrific, starting with the scofflaw herself.

Last One Out of Beach City does for Pearl what Back to the Moon does for Amethyst and Mindful Education does for Garnet: we see the result of her character growth in Act II, and even if the Mystery Girl looks a lot like Rose, it’s still a huge step forward for our lady of perpetual mourning to develop a crush on someone new (and to be so low-key polite to Greg). The romantic subplot alone could drive an episode, but Pearl gets so many more hats than “girl with a crush” here: she’s a nerd, a badass, a criminal, and a middle-aged mom all at once. She vacillates between genuinely cool and desperately uncool until she fuses these extremes together to become a confident square; it’s perhaps Deedee Magno Hall’s best Pearlformance that doesn’t include singing, and that’s saying a lot. Between her voice acting, the lines themselves (“This is why we buckle up”), and the sheer sense of catharsis from seeing her choosing to move forward with her life, this is my favorite Pearl episode. And that’s saying a lot.

Pearl has always had a weird relationship with humanity. She's distant from modern culture compared to Amethyst, and her misunderstandings about human stuff is often played for laughs, but she’s also a crack car mechanic and is enamored with human concepts like knighthood. She’s not completely removed from society, but chooses not to engage unless something in particular catches her fancy. So it’s fascinating to see her associating moving forward with performing more human activities; she’s embracing Earth as it is, not as it was when the Gem War was raging, and she’s not letting lingering envy from Rose’s love of humans like Greg get in her way.

The reason this works so well is that it’s clearly performative, rather than an actual sudden personality shift. She’s still a homebody who likes puzzles and hanging out with her kid. She’s still snooty, both with her friends (dismissing the idea that anyone could be nostalgic for something as “new” as suburbs) and with her crush (“By the way, I saved your planet and your species and you're welcome”). And she’s still nervous as all get-out, but brave enough to push forward anyway.

Pearl’s maternal nature isn’t ignored, but used as fuel for her attempt at rebirth. There’s a huge difference between an awkward person putting themselves out there for the first time and a semi-retired hellraiser who, after settling into a comfortable groove, seeks to relive her glory days. She’s been dwelling on the negative for so long that she feels out of touch with her adventurous side, to the point where wearing pants and drinking juice is adventurous, but because we know Pearl so well by now we can actually appreciate how big of a deal these minor accomplishments are for her.

While it’s refreshing to see Pearl moving on from Rose, it’s perhaps even greater to see how far her relationship with Amethyst has come. While their longstanding rivalry softened during the Week of Sardonyx, we haven’t gotten them alone together since, and it just feels so nice to see Amethyst ribbing Pearl with that extra burst of sisterly affection, and Pearl loosening up enough to not take every slight personally.

As with Pearl, Amethyst works here because her personality hasn’t been erased; again, she’s still ragging on Pearl. The plot gets rolling because of Amethyst’s well-established fascination with humanity, and Pearl’s decision to see the show is prompted in part by wanting to impress Amethyst, something she never would’ve cared about in Season 1. And for all her teasing, Amethyst encourages Pearl every step of the way, not just out of solidarity but because she’s legitimately impressed.

And in a world where Pearl and Amethyst are egging each other on, Steven has to step up and be practical. I appreciate that his sense of responsibility and realism doesn’t make him a jerk or a brat, but more of a peer than ever among his fellow Crystal Gems. When pointing out the pink-haired elephant in the room, he’s not condemning or teasing Pearl: he’s just clearing the tension, and showing that he’s more aware of the situation than a younger Steven might have been. In this episode, Steven is the friend who looks for a gas station when his buds are freaking out about running out of fuel.

By now Steven feels comfortable with his place in the team, and with his relationships with Amethyst and Pearl as individuals. A version of this episode placed earlier in the series might’ve been about Pearl and Amethyst fighting for his attention, or Steven vying for attention from either of them, but by now he’s happy to do a puzzle with Pearl and to go to a concert with Amethyst, and there’s zero conflict. Immaturity shouldn’t be a go-to character beat anymore, and I love that Steven is acting his age.

Mystery Girl turns out to be more of a device than a character, as we never see her again. But I honestly think that’s fine; what matters is that Pearl is willing to put herself out there, and the result isn’t a new relationship with a new love interest but a new relationship with humanity. The Pearl of Bismuth Casual, hanging out with a posse of human friends and showing off her Gem powers with glee, owes everything to the Pearl of Last One Out of Beach City, and thus everything to Mystery Girl. Perhaps they had a thing at some point. Perhaps they still do have a thing. We don’t know, because Pearl has new hobbies outside of being a Crystal Gem, and that’s the victory.

An in terms of the show’s greater plot, if our new friend never gave Pearl her number, Pearl never would’ve gotten a phone, so A Single Pale Rose never would’ve happened. Perhaps one day he would’ve learned the truth, but certainly not before Yellow and Blue Diamond arrived to wage war on the planet. So thanks for saving the world, Mystery Girl!

The use of music from our universe lends Last One Out of Beach City a uniquely realistic tone compared to the rest of the series; perhaps any such music would do the trick, but a garage rocker is an apt choice for setting a grounded mood. We get a glimpse of Greg’s life outside of being a dad, as he socializes not only with Amethyst but Barb and Vidalia. The car chase lurches to reality when we learn that Pearl doesn’t have a driver’s license, and explicit references are made to the DMV and Pearl’s citizenship. It’s like knowing Steven’s exact age, or having Greg break his leg in Ocean Gem instead of getting a nondescript injury, or hearing Dr. Maheswaran describe PTSD using terms like “cortisol”: these concrete details make these characters feel more like real people. And considering this is a character-centric episode in a show where characters are pretty much always at the center anyway, that realism gives us a deeper connection to what our heroes are going through.

Pearl is by no means a teenager, and the critical element of reclaiming her mojo muddles direct comparisons to a teen protagonist, but the emotional honesty of Last One Out of Beach City makes me feel nostalgic, and not just for the suburbs. Driving around, not quite following the rules, and bouts of chasing meaning when you’re not as interested in traditional adolescent social activities? Those were my teenage years. I don’t always miss them, but this episode brings out the best of my memories.

There’s really not much else to say. I could spend another few paragraphs incoherently gushing about the writing and the animation and the voice work, but I promise the time you’d spend reading that would be better spent rewatching the episode. While I maintain my comparison to Beta, Last One Out of Beach City does stand in opposition to Peridot’s first Meep Morp: it has no functional purpose, it just makes me feel good.

Future Vision!

I already brought up how Mystery Girl’s number prompts A Single Pale Rose, but that episode itself shows that Pearl’s a lot slicker than she thought she was. That’s a lot of codes!

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Not sure why we get a Halloween-themed promo for an episode that has nothing to do with Halloween and aired in early September, but this is me not complaining about that. (Apparently it’s actually a reference to a Japanese tradition but I don’t watch enough anime to know more about that.)

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not my third favorite, but this episode is really high up there. The cream of the crop are episodes that give me the purest emotional reactions: Mirror Gem nails dread, Lion 3 and Alone Together embody two different kinds of wonder, and Steven and the Stevens, Hit the Diamond, and Last One Out of Beach City just make me unspeakably happy.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[bonesandblood-sunandmoon]

Pre-Therapy Isolation

CoA prompt for Oct 2019 - “Aromanticism and Aloneness” [Call for Submissions]. Under a cut due to length. Heads up: There’s a mention of a past history of suicidal episodes, but there are zero details.

Sections: 1) Therapeutic Context, 2) Aloneness, Isolation, and Loneliness, 3) Convergence of Mental Illness & Aro-spec Identity, and 4) Disclosure.

Therapeutic Context

I have bounced around from draft to draft and tangent to tangent this past month in part because other issues have required a higher priority ranking in the mental queue. Among the various topics brought up with/by my new general practitioner [GP] during this month’s follow-up was counseling intake, which will feature a bunch of questions off a template and hopefully some relevant questions about the diagnosis I’d like to confirm (or figure out my symptoms are actually from X) over a few appointments.

(For non-regular readers, I haven’t had health insurance since undergrad ended in 2016, so there have been a few changes to the identities I tote around. The Counseling and Psychological Services [CPS] offered on-campus did include therapy, but I’m not quite a good fit with Grad students who change every semester and require reintroductions, re-explaining, and ignoring personal details when I just don’t want to bother with an LGBTQIA+ primer. My last therapy visit with CPS that wasn’t a ‘the semester started’ drop-in was in the later part of the spring semester of 2015.)

I did ask to not be paired with someone who’s never had a trans patient before because I’m just not up to walking my therapist through the bare bones of Trans 101, but I won’t really know their familiarity with LGBTQIA+ basics until the first intake appointment in November. It’s possible they might know some identities but not all of them, and I may still need to break out a little 101 even for relatively more established identities (ex. nonbinary). However, the most relevant of my letters collected for this post is the A for aro-spec (specifically quoi/greyro), which is currently the most recent personal identity (2019) and, afaik, the youngest community when it comes to awareness.

Aloneness, Isolation, and Loneliness

On a literal, physical level, the prospect of going to therapy doesn’t really fit with being alone (“having no one else present”) or aloneness (“a disposition toward being alone”). But it edges along a nebulous mixture of talking about being alone, geographic isolation, and possible loneliness or isolation. The bridge connecting this nebulous alone/isolation idea with being aro-spec and facing intake for counseling:

Talking about being alone. It’s going to be a smidge related to context for past events, but it’s like a cloud on the horizon that I’m trying to ignore when it comes to talking about the future and/or future goals. I’m going to have to admit that it’s currently unwise to live on my own to someone’s face, so I don’t want that to be a goal of our sessions. Like, I’m really going to have to admit that my symptoms have gotten bad enough in the past that I would rather plan on having a roommate than risk being a danger to myself again.

The geographic isolation specific to living in a rural area that’s not exactly the intended ‘local’ area for the closest LGBTQIA+ resources and communities, especially if you get a-spec specific. It can range from some resources not being applicable when you live in a different county to inconvenient differences in meetups (it’s great to only have a 5 minute walk to a coffee shop for a casual meetup for the locals, but if I live over an hour’s drive away, I expect something a little more substantial to justify the driving and need enough advanced notice to actually drive there).

It doesn’t really feel like loneliness, but it doesn’t quite seem like a type of isolation, and it’s just this mixed feeling that I’m not going to have a choice but to be a teaching moment because I’m going to be the first aro-spec patient for this therapist. True, I have no way of knowing how many other aros are in this area, but unfortunately, I have no way of knowing if I’m the only aro-spec person around. It feels unbalanced and isolating that I can’t just walk in as an individual, and I now have to be careful as an ambassador of sorts.

Convergence of Mental Illness & Aro-spec Identity

Based on a quick search of Arocalypse, I wouldn’t go so far as to say this is a unique feeling to me, but that greyro pov post included revealing my connection between my mental health and feeling like I’ve become aro-spec. (Link covers why I’d rather not directly link to the post in question, namely personal growth. With a dash of embarrassment.) And yes, I said that I feel like I’ve become aro-spec instead of feeling like it’s been a static identity that I’ve always had.

I think the life events I went through - most strongly noticed after surviving suicidal shit - were the equivalent of the body prioritizing heating the core instead of the extremities in extreme cold. The vital to living parts of me made it through.

My ability to correctly interpret romantic attraction when signaled in media? It’s not impossible, but it’s usually particularly scripted examples. My ability to correctly interpret romantic attraction signaled in other people? I still have a chance at getting that right, but it’s not guaranteed. My ability to correctly interpret romantic attraction when I might be experiencing it? Nope, that didn’t make it through. It’s like a fixed red-blue-purple color array that’s suddenly showing orange. It’s like looking down at your phone one day and realizing everything’s been switched to a language you only know a limited amount of (for me, Spanish). It’s like trying to wrap your head around imaginary numbers after you thought you were keeping up in Algebra II.

At this point, romantic attraction is a rather distant memory and feels like it happened to a different person. I’ve made peace with not knowing if I’m orange or red-orange, and I could stumble through figuring out more words in Spanish, but I don’t think proper management of my symptoms will “restore” what’s been lost. No amount of talk therapy is going to unlock those memories, and the right medication isn’t going to lift the fog of confusion. Maybe red-orange is close enough to red to count (non-normative romance factoring into maybe, sometimes experiencing something close to romantic attraction a la greyro), but I don’t want to pretend I know what i means.

Disclosure

I don’t want a therapist to get sidetracked by “fixing” me because I’m alright chilling out here on the aro spectrum. Maybe I’ll be able to live on my own at some point, or maybe I’ll have a roommate. Maybe the stars will align and I’ll find someone who’s alright with me being red-orange and mostly confused as long as we figure out each other’s love language(s), so to speak. Maybe I’ll have a collection of friends, but I won’t ever really partner with someone. I’m not sure. Those questions are too complicated and too far off into the future for me to answer when I’ve got to douse the embers my brain decided to light in its resident dumpster before they grow into a full fledged fire.

However, based on my experience with CPS, I need to be prepared for questions about my relationship status. Their intake process included screening for domestic violence, if my memory serves me right (single = skip that section), but I also remember a soft inquiry into who might be involved in my support network where it was relevant to establish that I had friends but no romantic partners to warrant referring to my significant other. Just based on the preliminary paperwork that’s a copy of what I had to fill out for GP, there’s a section for choosing from their offered gender and sexuality options [includes Other and lines to write in responses].

I didn’t really feel like getting into a ton of detail with GP, but it feels different when it comes to counseling and eventually a psychiatrist consult. If I’m going to compile a bullet point list of my identities, offer brief explanations, and point towards aro resources, I’d rather get that all out of the way in the beginning. Once it’s all on the table, I don’t have to dance around topics or play the rephrasing game where I avoid coming out part way through an answer. Maybe me offering up AUREA can make it a little easier for the next patient who’s aro.

Maybe I don’t want to ignore or downplay my connection to an online aro community, as tenuous as it may be at times, because I feel a little less alone. I don’t have to frame changes in romantic orientation as being broken. I have an alternative narrative for being the heartless monster who’s a bit too cold and less than human. I don’t have to take the negative impression that an inability to romantically love someone (or an unclear answer) means that any sexual attraction, desire, or activities amount to manipulative ‘using’ as truth. (The social connection to a community can be used to whack a self-isolating brain.)

Ultimately, prepare for disclosure, so I don’t feel caught off guard or forget differences in how resources define a word and how I relate to it. I can play it by ear during the intake process, and if I don’t actually want to disclose to the therapist, I don’t have to.