#it's probably not unreasonable to assume the building was just like this

[internetskiff]

While I personally prefer the industrial aesthetic of Portal 2, it's kinda hard to deny that Portal 1's BTS areas had a sort of vibe to them that is unlike Portal 2's take on it. The industrial areas from Portal 1 are basically a hell of nonsensical technology. It's hilarious, it seems like GLaDOS rebuilding the place from scratch after her awakening somehow made it arguably LESS of a nightmare. I mean, just look at this.

That's not so bad? OK. It gets worse. Why did Aperture have these devices.

What do these pistons even DO they're just here to crush people and smudge up the ceilings with MOLD. Did they put these here so the janitors would always have massive stains on the ceiling they would have to clean (or, more than likely, die trying)?????????

Some of these areas look like they wouldn't even be TRAVERSABLE unless they just handed portal guns out willy nilly.

You know you've fucked up when the homicidal robot is more generous with catwalk placement than whatever termite mound of construction workers that had to pile on top of eachother to build all of this. The only areas I'd argue look even remotely hospitable are the offices, which actually do look kinda cozy, but you'd probably end up getting squashed by a stray piston before you could even GET there.

Y'know Chell is pretty formidable but I think who we really need to fear is whoever the hell worked maintenance before the incident because if you can survive this building-sized tetanus-infested oven I'm pretty sure not even the fuckin Combine would be much of an issue for you. "Oh yeah I had to dodge like 10 pistons in order to get to Turret Manufacturing" like JESUS CHRIST.

[taylor-titmouse]

hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator

i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.

this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.

i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:

DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE

hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.

and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.

you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.

okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.

YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS

good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.

porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!

as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.

while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!

to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY

hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.

god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!

this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).

okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!

also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.

abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.

I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT

kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.

please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.

as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.

[warblogs17282]

So, I've been thinking about the stuff that ghostfuckers told us about Millie, and I got curious and wondered if what we learned about her there could be used to put things shown in the first short and unhappy campers into perspective a bit more.

Hell's Belles:

Some comments from Sallie May interested me, mainly the lines "for your fancy job." and "shiny new life", and there's a line in ghostfuckers I think I can tie into Sallie May generally describing Millie's job and life positively.

That being, "Most of my life I bought into the idea that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl. Or best an underpaid goon.", and I suspect that Sallie May is still affected by this stereotype, that she feels like she's also a part of that stereotype, considering that we know that she helps out at her parent's ranch.

Which would explain part of the reason why Sallie May calls it 'fancy' and 'shiny', because she may feel like Millie is a notable exception to the stereotype, which would obviously be something that she would describe positively, especially considering that job and life now also consists of killing humans, something that is very much a one of a kind thing. Considering that Millie bought into the stereotype before joining Blitz, it's very probable that Sally May also bought into the same/similar stereotype.

Obviously this is only part of the reason why she describes Millie's job and life like she does, but I still feel like ghostfuckers adds more depth to that statement.

Another thing that I want to mention is the fact that they did some playfighting at the end of the episode, which I think ties into this line in ghostfuckers: "We're just Wrathians, Blitzo. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for."

Another stereotype, that all Wrathians are good for is muscle, and fighting is a good way of building muscle, which would help to explain why they just naturally fell into playfighting at the end of the episode, because it's implied that they had playfights like this a lot with each other, and considering the stereotype of that all Wrathians are good for is muscle, it makes sense why they have such a history of playfighting with each other, because again, if Millie believed that stereotype before meeting Blitz, it's very likely that Sallie May also believed the same/similar stereotype as well.

Unhappy Campers:

Let's just skip to the boiling point of their argument in this episode, we know that Millie felt undermined during this episode, which we can see with the line "And for once, I feel like... like I'm important. Like I'm someone to be proud of...", which quite heavily plays into the line "We're just Wrathians, Blitzo. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for.", which probably helps to explain part of the reason why Millie felt so strongly about this, just because you know that the stereotype is false doesn't mean it doesn't effect you anymore, it's clearly something that still resides in the back of Millie's head somewhere.

I use that line in particular, because there's two times in the episode before this where we can see Millie be visibly annoyed at Moxxie, and I believe that part of the reason is because she feels like her other qualities are being undermined, with the main one here being her smarts, which kind of plays into the line in ghostfuckers, that stereotype, because considering how prominent that stereotype was for her until meeting Blitz, it's not unreasonable to assume that this specific stereotype was playing in the back of her mind again, which would help to explain part of the reason why she felt so strongly about it when the argument reaches it's boiling point.

Plus, one of the first things Blitz told Millie right after he moved his business to IMP was 'You're tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I've ever met in any ring.', showing even further why Millie feels so strongly about this, she probably feels like what Moxxie is doing is a slap in the face to what Blitz told her when they first moved to IMP for their business.

Plus, there's also other relevant lines like "Most of my life I bought into the idea that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl. Or best an underpaid goon." and "Not exactly a shortage of imp assassins in Wrath. Reputation is everything."

"And what's your reputation, hmm?"

Although these are less directly relevant to this scene, I still think it's worth considering into the big picture of why Millie felt so strongly here.

tbh, this is another reason while I'll defend the unhappy campers Moxxie and Millie conflict, it has quite a bit of depth to it if you consider everything, and I've just shown you all that ghostfuckers has given that conflict a bit more depth.

[threepandas]

The Vod's List: Part 1.5

Fox sat in the medcenter staring blankly at the 'sensor's read out. They all were. A numb sort of horror silencing the normally busy room. The only real noise was the steady churning hum of the substance analyzer off on a table to the side, still busy churning away at what exact compound EXACTLY were in the liquid drying on his face. Running in random chaotic lines of slowly drying death, down his neck.

He really needed to change before he got reinfected.

But... but all he could do was stare.

There was a chip in his head.

WAS. It was half gone and disappearing even as they watched. Whatever let it hide itself the first thing destroyed, by what now flowed in his blood. His head felt like it was going to pop. Yet? As... WHATEVER those things were? Worked? Processed. Attacked. Did what ever it was they were designed to DO... the less his head hurt.

The medic said it looked like they went after the connection filaments first. Then traced them back to the chip itself. Because... because he had a CHIP in his brain.

He was compromised.

How long had he been compromised?

Were the others? Or was it just him? Was it because of his position of command? Should the other commanders get checked? What is he saying. Of course they should. They have too. He has no idea when this could even have OCCURRED. It could be a threat to the Republic. To the Vod.

The analyzer chimes. His vod numbly going through the motions to check the read out. Only to pause. Check again. Then again. Fixer calls over another medic. Well... that reassuring.

They have samples, scraped from his cheek and neck. He expect then to pop them into another machine, when they pick the vial up. But instead? The rest of them watch in confused horror as the two medics apply some two a swab, grab a vibroscalpel, and make cuts along their arms. Pressing the swabs to the fresh wounds.

Deliberately... infecting... themselves...

VOD WHAT IN THE FRESH HELLS?!

One set chrono and a vicious shouting match later? The truth reveals itself. Two more scans. Two matching chips, being eaten away. It's Kamino cure, they say. Half way across the known galaxy, probably has all sorts of side effects they'll have to look out for, but? Assuming they SURVIVE it?

This could fix every karked up thing the long necks ever put in them, known or unknown.

It's DESIGNED to "fix" it's host, no matter the cost. That is... assuming the host can endure the pain. Kriff. His mind can't help but shoot back. The civilian. An aid to an aid so many layers down in the senate, they're barely one step above the Vod themselves. Glorified furniture with a purpose.

She'd been...

The sheer HORROR in her eyes, when she realized she'd shared what was inside her. When they met, she was in a karking muzzle, too. Sure, it was designed to be "humane". But she couldn't even run in it. It suffocated her. Did she endure? Was that why she froze up? Every injury the threat of something so much WORSE?

He could see the same thought, spreading like everything always does with the Vod.

Fast and impossible to contain.

Kriff... he ran a hand down his face, exhausted. They hadn't even figured out who was behind THIS attack. Anti-war protesters, kidnapping attempt, assassination attempt. Some sleemo who wanted to watch the galaxy burn, maybe. It didn't matter. What DID was that they contain it.

....maybe get a gaurd or two on their new friend.

I mean... it wasn't UNREASONABLE, right? She... she COULD be a target. Natural bioweapon. People can be terrible. Wouldn't put it past somebody right? And they really SHOULD have complete coverage of the senate building. Even the lower levels. That's were trouble makers try to slip in.

It's reasonable.

It's not like she's THEIR Civilian. They don't HAVE an anything. The other Vod have their generals. Various officers, if their Generals aren't that great. The Gaurd doesn't... they don't NEED...

I mean... it would be NICE...

No. Focus.

Just because she helped you and yours... just because she's SOFT and CIVILIAN and VULNERABLE to threats-! Don't. Do not. Vod, I can FEEL you-

"Did you know most Technoganic never leave their planet?" Nose piped up from near the door, little shit could never leave anything alone if he TRIED. He had his datapad out. "Says here they are highly priority targets for slavers."

Every Vod in the room twitched.

Well... there went HIS calm. His hand went to his com-link, already fighting to keep from clenching his jaw. A.. FEW gaurds wouldn't hurt. For Senatorial safety. They aren't giving anyone preferential treatment! Just. Being cautious.

Doing their job.

They should check in.

Just in case.

[oneshlut]

Hey!! I absolutely ADORE your writing, it makes me so happy!!! I happen to be a sucker for our favorite nerd, and you write super good for him! May i ask for general datting headcanons? Like what its like to date him???? Thank you!!!<3

A/N: ohhh, i was WAITING for this one!! i loveee dating hcs. i'm assuming you mean dr. flug, in which i am always happy to write for him! thank you so much for the request! im so happy you enjoy my works!! c: (also flug may be just a teensy bit autism-coded...)

The Doctor Is Out (Dr. Flug x Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: General Dr. Flug dating headcanons/What is dating Dr. Flug like?

You thought he was a nervous wreck before? You've never seen him on a date. Before a date, for that matter.

After asking you out to a museum that recently opened outside the Hat Island, he dragged himself to his room and.. screamed into his pillow. Leaving 5.0.5. decently concerned.

He paced around his lab, wracked with anxiety. Oh god, oh god--what is he going to do?! Did he still look alright?? He paused his anxious strides to look at himself in his full-body mirror that he practically pulled out of nowhere. I guess he looked alright-? Or did he need to change his shirt again? Oh--crap he should probably take off his gloves.. or should he? He's always had normally sweaty hands, not including his nerves getting the best of him.. Yeah, the gloves are staying on.

Not to mention how Demencia is teasing him every minute she gets while Flug is writing out a plan. Yeah, you heard me right, this faceless man has an entire 24-step written plan for this date. He can't go without a plan, right? He doesn't want to mess up in front of you, either..

Some ridiculous, unreasonable, irrational part of him thinks maybe you won't show up. Obviously, he doesn't know any better to know how much you love him. Then again, if he knew, I don't think he'd last.

The museum went way better than he expected! There just happened to be a jet plane exhibit, and suddenly his 24-step plan has made its way to a nearby trash can. Don't get me wrong, his nerves were definitely still there, and not going anywhere anytime soon. He was just glad that he didn't draw you away with his possibly unending rambling about different types of aircraft.

The two of you stayed in the museum until it closed at 4 p.m. The time seemed to fly by, and at some point during the date you had held his hand. Poor Flug was too distracted, that he only noticed your interlocked hands when the both of you were leaving the building. He's blushing like a maniac now. As if the red tint on his face couldn't get any worse, before you left, you kissed him on his cheek. You kissed him on his cheek. His bones turned to ice, frozen in place. Later that night, he couldn't get his mind off of you. He's not washing his bag for a while. Not like he washed it in the first place.

So, you two are dating! In a relationship! Dr. Flug refuses to believe it, but every morning kinda forces him to. Though, sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed with the attention, so when this happens, you give him the day to compose himself again.

He's happy with the attention, though! More than happy, he's honestly never received such affection before and.. he enjoys it.

Some days, you'll just have hang-out dates! For example, Dr. Flug is undergoing a heavy project and asks you to come over for comfort. He'll even ask you for help with his experiments from time to time! Don't worry, he wouldn't involve you in anything too dangerous, he's not cruel. Well, not to you..

If we're talking about Dr. Flug here, at least one date has to go wrong. Thankfully, it's almost never his fault. He's, unfortunately, slightly popular with heroes. Not that he, himself, as a villain is popular, but rather him being known under the Blackhat name has drawn in some unwanted attention from heroes.

What does this mean for the two of you? Well, worst case scenario, a hero has such a huge grudge against Flug that they are determined to ruin your date. According to Dr. Flug, there's only a 1.117% chance of this happening, so you shouldn't have to worry too much.

Afterwards, he feels horrible that your date went to crap. He apologizes profusely, even if you forgive him in the first place, he'll continue to feel bad. All he wants is for you to be happy, and it feels like he's failed you. But the fact that you're still here with him is more than enough proof that you're far from giving up on him, if ever.

On days where you would stay inside with him, whether it be a stormy night or just a long day for you, sometimes he'd turn around from whatever he was working on when you don't respond to him, and he'll find you resting peacefully next to 5.0.5. The sight warms his heart, as he moves to grab a blanket for you, and dims the lights in his lab slightly.

With you asleep, and now with him and nothing to work on, he now has time to think. And for some reason, no thoughts come to him. Surprising to his usually busy brain.

One thought came to him, eventually. Watching you rest soundly in the now dim-lighted room, your chest lifting up and down with your soft breaths, made him realize how lucky he truly is.

Then, he came up with an idea. He didn't want your dreaming to be disturbed, did he? He grabbed a piece of notepaper, tape, and a marker. Opening his door slightly, he taped up the scratch-made sign titled:

"The Doctor is Out"

[y-rhywbeth2]

Karlach and Durge's relationship has fun elements that I, for some reason, started thinking on this morning.

Aside from some similarities (the offspring/descendent of powerful beings of the lower planes, whose kind are brought into existence as pawns/displays of power; were given basically no choice about serving their evil relative; who are/were made into living weapons; and the homicidal rages they need to keep under control (and as Zariel is known for her seething homicidal rage, Karlach could actually have inherited it the way Durge gets it from Bhaal))

There's that delightful 'I can fix them' mentality Karlach is bringing to the relationship. Always a good sign. We learned nothing from the Gortash shenanigans.

She talks about getting Durge psychiatric help when they get the city and, while that's a nice sentiment (and I assume she's actually talking about clerical healing at a fully staffed temple or something), I do remember what Faerûn's 'asylums' ('howling keeps') are like, and being locked up in a cell forever (at best) does not strike me as a good time. I just picture Durge hearing that, thinking of how people handle the dangerously 'crazed-witted' and getting ready to bolt. No nope nope no.

Speaking of Gortash: assuming Durge's handwriting hasn't been fundamentally altered by the TBI, they're going to recognise themselves praising the evil genius that is the guy who sold their new friend/lover to slavery in Hell and then have to look Karlach in the eye.

Then there's issue that is Gortash and Durge vs Durge and Karlach vs Gortash and Karlach's relationships. Even though Gortash is projecting and doesn't think there is an issue. 'That was literally a month-to-a-decade ago, why are you mad?' And I'm pasting that conversation, because I like looking at it.

Karlach: 'I don't give a shit about your agreement.' Lord Enver Gortash: 'Then why in the Nine Hells have you come back here, Karlach? What could you possibly want?!' Karlach: 'How about an apology for sending me to the Hells?' Lord Enver Gortash: 'Sorry?! You want me to be sorry for helping you gain more power than you've ever known? That thing in your chest is a blessing I helped you receive. One you're too much of a fool to see. I gave you a clean slate. A chance to rejoin me for our mutual benefit - again.'

(What a guy. God, I want to cut his skull open with a spoon and stare at the contents.)

Durge, of course can start swooning over how brilliant the durgetash alliance is, or, not unreasonably, assume - having only Karlach's accounts of Gortash's betrayal, and the knowledge that they were brutally tortured for a month in the building where the guy works - that he might've fucked them over too.

'I seem to have trusted you once, and it ruined me. I'm not about to repeat that mistake.'

Are we stewing in mutual resentment of an old partner, or are we going to hit a massive problem if Durge wants something of their old life back? There is so much unexplored drama in this part of Act 3 and their mutual arc, it pains me.

Plus Karlach should probably be wondering if Durge had anything to do with her enslavement. They almost certainly didn't timeline wise, because if Karlach was shipped off to Avernus 10 years ago then she was gone the year Bhaal came back and gained the ability to pick Chosen, so the window of opportunity for Durge and Gortash to meet (if it exists) is insanely narrow. But the doubt should be there.

And of course the fact that if you romance her and she undergoes ceremorphosis you can tell her how hot it is when she eats people's brains and she goes 'thanks love.'

[thedemonscrawler]

Theory: Ruin built Eclipse specifically to save Solar

(alternate title: Ruin SAVES Solar... with ECLIPSE?! in VRChat)

Okay so, we know the drill, yes? Solar came from one of the dimensions Ruin targeted, and as a result died. I believe (though I'm not 100% certain, its been a year and a lot of fanfics) that Ruin claims he tried to save Solar from this fate, and failed.

And thinking over the timeline of events... I believe him.

So Ruin was already in 'our' dimension when Solar moved in, but he was in the middle of his whole 'bad guy' phase at the time. Tbh? I don't think Ruin and Solar ever met prior to Ruin being 'cured'. Thus, it's not unreasonable to assume that Ruin had no idea where Solar had come from, only knowing he was another dimensional refugee-- until Solar's Moon showed up, on December 15th.

Now Ruin would have a dimensional signature for Solar. Now he would know that Solar is from one of the targeted dimensions.

Crap.

See, despite what Ruin did, I sincerely believe that he's against the idea of harming others. His beef was with the Creators, and only the Creators-- everyone else was unfortunate casualties. And here's Solar, who is nice, and reasonable, and probably the most stable person in this whole dimension, who also escaped a very shitty situation to settle down in his new home.

And like, if you can't save everyone, you try to save at least one, right?

On December 21st, Solar gets knocked out in the West Arcade, in a move we now know was Ruin copying his source code. Source code that he used to build a very specific animatronic.

On December 26th, as a slightly-late Christmas present to us, Eclipse returns.

Now of course, the implications are that Ruin was putting the final touches on his plan, and he needed a new distraction for Moon since Blood Moon had skittered off to lick their wounds. And Eclipse sure as shit works for a distraction, no matter if he's behaving or going wildly off script.

But you read the title of this post, so what if there was an additional reason? What if Ruin was more or less done with the plan, but upon realizing that Solar would be wiped out as well, he decided to stall for longer? If he made a copy of Solar's code specifically in an attempt to see if it was possible to alter it enough to not be targeted?

And he did stall, for as long as he possibly could. Molten Freddy is proof of this-- Molten was cobbled together from a supersoldier project by his Creator and sent off to get the person who was targeting their dimension. Ruin had been discovered, and he had to act now.

So yeah, my theory is that Ruin made Eclipse as a distraction while he worked on some way to save Solar, who he had just learned would get wiped out. And unfortunately he failed, and throwing away the entire plan (and as a consequence, every single dimension) for a single person is, admittedly, a really tasty plot for a fanfic, but not a reasonable action at this point.

So he pressed the button.

[yoomiwrites]

Sugar Rush¹⁵

Summary: Reader has been working directly under the Admirals, Kuzan, Kizaru and Akainu for years. Little by little, the dynamic changes and friendship (and more) develops.

Note: And the last chapter for today. Thanks for anyone who is reading this. ♡

The days had begun to blur together, each one passing in a haze of avoidance, self-doubt, and mounting pressure. Ever since that encounter in the storage room with Kizaru, I hadn’t been able to think straight. The realization that I might actually have feelings for him had me tied in knots, and now it was all catching up to me.

I’d been avoiding him. Not just casually dodging him in the halls, but actively making sure our paths never crossed. It was exhausting, mentally and physically. Every time I saw a flash of yellow in the distance or heard his lazy drawl echoing through the HQ, I turned the other way.

And, to my surprise, he didn’t approach me either. No teasing remarks, no sudden appearances, nothing. It was like he had sensed the shift in me and decided to let me be. Maybe that should have been a relief, but it only made things worse. Each day that passed without his usual presence only deepened the growing pit in my stomach.

I tried to focus on my work, to drown out the confusing mess of emotions with paperwork and reports, but nothing seemed to help. My mind kept wandering back to him, replaying every interaction, analyzing every word, every look. I kept asking myself why I couldn’t just talk to him—why something was stopping me from being honest with him, and, more importantly, with myself.

My work had started to slip. I knew it, and so did everyone else. Papers piled up on my desk, deadlines were missed, and my usual efficiency had become a distant memory. It wasn’t long before Akainu’s temper flared. He had chewed me out more than once over the past few days, his deep voice booming through the office as he demanded that I pull myself together. His frustration was understandable, and while he hadn’t been unreasonably harsh, I could feel the tension building. I was letting everything slip through my fingers, and it was only a matter of time before I’d be in real trouble.

I was at a low point, probably the lowest I’d been since starting this job. Sitting at my desk, staring blankly at the half-finished reports, I felt utterly drained. The weight of it all was pressing down on me, suffocating in its intensity.

And then, there was a knock on the door.

I didn’t bother looking up, assuming it was just another pile of paperwork being dumped on me. “Come in,” I mumbled, rubbing my tired eyes.

The door creaked open, and a familiar voice drifted into the room. "You know, you’re not very good at hiding things."

My head snapped up, and there stood Kuzan, leaning casually against the doorframe with a knowing smile on his face. His presence in the office was unusual—he rarely bothered with formalities—but the relaxed way he carried himself was still the same. He looked at me with a gaze that was softer than his usual cool demeanor.

“K-Kuzan?” I stammered, sitting up straighter in my chair, not sure what to expect.

He walked in, hands in his pockets, his usual laid-back attitude never wavering as he made his way toward my desk. “I heard you’ve been having a rough week,” he said nonchalantly, as though commenting on the weather.

I grimaced, feeling the weight of his words. "Something like that," I muttered, not really in the mood to explain myself.

Kuzan chuckled, pulling up a chair and sitting down across from me. “You’ve been avoiding him,” he said plainly, his eyes fixed on me, leaving no room for doubt about who he meant.

I froze, my heart skipping a beat. He knew. Of course, he knew.

“I—” I started, but the words caught in my throat. What could I even say?

Kuzan leaned forward slightly, his gaze soft but serious. “You don’t have to hide it, you know,” he said gently. “No one’s expecting you to be perfect all the time. And from what I can see, whatever this is, it’s eating you up. You can’t keep working like this.”

I lowered my eyes, unable to meet his. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tried to lie, but even to my own ears, it sounded pathetic.

Kuzan just sighed, leaning back in his chair, as if my response didn’t surprise him. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on in your head, and I don’t know how Borsalino feels about all this, but…” He paused, as if carefully choosing his words. “You’re not doing yourself any favors by pretending nothing’s wrong.”

I bit my lip, feeling the familiar tightness in my chest. He was right, of course. I was falling apart, and the more I tried to avoid the truth, the worse it was getting.

Kuzan’s voice softened even further, something I hadn’t expected. “If you have feelings for him, you need to deal with that. Keeping it bottled up is only going to make everything worse.”

I stared at my hands, my mind racing. “But what if…” I trailed off, my voice barely above a whisper. “What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if I’m just making things up in my head?”

Kuzan gave a slow, thoughtful nod. “That’s a possibility. I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t know how Borsalino feels about any of this, and there’s always a chance that things won’t work out the way you want them to.”

His words made my heart sink, but he continued before I could fully dwell on the fear.

“But,” he added, “isn’t it better to know? To get it out there and move on, one way or another? Otherwise, you’re just stuck. And from the looks of it, you’re on the fast track to losing your job if you keep going like this.”

I winced at the truth in his statement. My work had become a disaster, and I knew I was teetering on the edge. Akainu had already reprimanded me several times, and if things didn’t improve soon…

Kuzan stood up, stretching lazily before turning toward the door. “You’re stronger than you think, you know. But even strong people need to face their feelings sometimes.”

He paused at the doorway, glancing back at me with a small, knowing smile. “Just talk to him. Whatever happens, you’ll be better off for it.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving me alone in the silence of my office.

I sat there for a long time, his words echoing in my mind. I had spent so much time running, avoiding the truth, but maybe Kuzan was right. Maybe it was time to face it head-on. To finally deal with the feelings I had been trying so hard to ignore.

[cubitodragon-moved]

Forever actively hiding his shadow infection worries and upsets me - in that good ‘how dare you rp your character so well’ way CC!Forever brings to the table, of course. (Some of it is also due to meta changes and the Purgatory event being that weird “is it/isn’t it RP relevant?” blurred line, but either way…)

A thing we all need to appreciate is that none of the other Islanders are aware this is even a thing. As far as anyone is concerned, seeing WB012 at the Green reshuffle meeting was the first time the majority had seen it at all. And questions about that went unanswered when they asked the Worker about it, likely thanks to the Watcher’s influence. (They also never saw them leave, and never saw them die thanks to being booted for maintenance. Goodnight sweet WB012, we hardly knew ye.)

But wait, Farli, didn’t people who attended the Guy Fawkes night mini-event see the state Forever was in? Yes, some of them did! And of those present, only Bad actively noticed and openly queried about his extensive injuries, which Forever tried to brush off and defer to explaining ‘later’. The rest simply assumed he was a wreck after being in the Nether for a month —Which, you know. Valid— before all getting distracted by blowing up buildings and setting things on fire.

One can’t fault our beloved cubitos for being easily distracted by things like that.

By the end of the mini-event, Forever had pulled an Irish Goodbye and wandered off to check out Cucuruchito, wander the server, and go back to his mega base. Others logging in didn’t see the state he was in, as he wasn’t there.

Forever had planned to speak with both Philza and Bad privately about what happened - except his PC died in RL. One way I choose to view that unlucky circumstance is thus: his body just forces him to pass out from sheer stress and exhaustion. And that promised ‘Later’ never comes.

The next time anyone sees Forever, he’s in a new skin, burns and scars and infection covered up, and Forever looking tired but somewhat better (for a given value of better). It’d be easy to think “oh the black stuff probably just washed off”, never mind that most people there at Spawn had no idea there was any black gunk on him in the first place.

And then cinematics and server shuffling and the Purgatory event happen. Teams happen. An awful week of awfulness divides friends and made thinking about what happened before Purgatory irrelevant in the face of needing to survive.

Forever is a man who doesn’t share his hurts openly, emotionally or otherwise, bottles things up to an alarming degree until he explodes. He puts others far far far ahead of his own well-being. He’s the sort who wants people to notice and care, but also doesn’t want anyone worrying about him. He has the unreasonable expectation as a people pleaser that he needs to do this by himself. What other people don’t know won’t hurt them, only him.

It’s not like anyone else can do anything about it. So why worry them needlessly, when saving the eggs is the priority?

He’s still covered up. Still hiding the shadow infection. And while he’s now on a team that has a few more people he’s relaxed around and has some trust in, we also have little under one week left of being stuck in Purgatory. For all there are long moments of alone time while preparing for the day, there’s few opportunities for privacy right now, where confiding in someone might happen.

When Forever next gets to rest and check himself over, will the infection have spread? Will someone else see and put 2+2 together - and potentially get a 5? Is the infection why he’ll be able to use the Judas book at all when that time comes?

I don’t know. I’m worried. Especially if the infection could potentially be infectious to others….We’ll have to wait and see.

[fereldanwench]

i'm still holding off final judgement until the gameplay today, but seeing some stills on twitter kind of helped me solidify what i found so off-putting about the style in the companion trailer

although before i post those, a few counter arguments because i'm already tired of ppl bashing the ppl who aren't vibing with it, and my head is clear enough to put these thoughts down:

"cinematic trailers rarely look like the actual game" - true to a point. however: 1) typically cinematic trailers strive to look like a higher definition version of the game, which seems to be the opposite here. in the case of DAO and DA2, i would say the cinematic trailers actually strived for more realism, not stylization, as that was the trend at the time. 2) this is a cinematic trailer, but it is also done in the game engine so it's not unreasonable to assume that the end product is gonna look somewhat similar 3) this was supposed to be their best foot forward so suddenly going "don't worry, it's gonna look better in-game" is just a bad marketing move. it's not on the audience to give this company the benefit of the doubt (particularly in light of all the shit that has gone down there in the past decade)

"not everything has to be super realistic!" - agreed! not liking elements of this particular style doesn't mean i'm opposed to stylization in DA at all. i think DA2 is much more stylized than DAO, and not only does it look nicer, it looks more distinctly dragon age. DAO visually is also very generic, especially for its time. i still love the almost painterly look of DA2, even all these years later

and i think DAI has issues with the character models, especially the uncanny valley disconnect between the really stiff animations and realistic faces (having played it within the past year, they've aged pretty roughly), but in terms of environment and armor and whatnot, it did build off the style presented in DA2 in a way that effectively modernized it for that era. it did go for a more realistic look, but it was cohesive and still distinctly dragon age

"people reacted like this to DA2 and DAI's trailers too" - no, they did not, lmao. DA2's trailers were the reverse--they looked more realistic than the actual game. now there was some backlash against the stylistic choice in the actual game. i remember david gaider talking about it in a panel at dragon con in 2012--apparently ppl were upset that the companions looked like they were made with cosplayers in mind, which i thought was an interesting criticism. but no, the trailers did not get this sort of response.

and DAI's trailers used a lot of in-game footage, and the cinematic ones were both pretty accurate to the game and well-received by the audience. DAI's marketing was also absolutely bonkers and nonstop for like 9 months before the game was released, which in hindsight i think was way too much, but in terms of visuals, we knew exactly what we were getting.

"you guys just think anything with a style to it looks like fortnite" - lmao, okay, yeah, describing it as fornite is probably unfair and inaccurate, but i know for me, i kind of use it as a shorthand to reflect my general dissatisfaction with the way so many 3D styles (in both games and movies) just have this bland, cartoonish look to them. the pixar-ification of everything. i just don't like it.

and the logo with the bright purple and overly smooth text doesn't really help here either. i think a less saturated and darker purple paired with a grungier font would also help in making this feel like less like fornite season 3458345: dragon age avengers.

plus it was originally gonna be a live service game and i think that it still has some of that dna artistically

SO ANYWAY

these stills, which i think are also in-game engine but im not entirely sure if they're from cinematics, gameplay, or just renders but they seem to be in-line with the trailer:

and seeing emmrich and to a lesser extent neve in these pics solidified why the stylization didn't work for me on a visual level (never mind it being paired with the light-hearted planning-for-a-silly-little-heist vibes)

so when i first saw the trailer, and i saw varric, i was like "nice"

he looked like a higher definition, older version of a DA2/DAI hybrid of his model. he looked really good. i thought harding looked good, too. it did take me a minute to realize who she was, but it really wouldn't be a DA trailer if we weren't left wondering who tf a returning character was lmao (remember the confusion over alistair's appearance in one of the DAI trailers? this is actually tradition now)

but as the trailer goes on, the style doesn't even stay consistent--it just gets progressively more cartoonish right up to emmrich, which is the exact moment that made me go WHAT

he looks like a cartoon character. the hard lines in his face, the stiffness of his hair, his overall proportions--he looks like he should be a villain in a pixar movie. like i'm digging his overall vibe and as a concept of a character design, i love it. but this execution of it next to fellow old wrinkled man varric looks so off

and then we go right into davrin who is beautifully rendered and designed--he doesn't look out of place next to varric or harding

some characters have the soft, wispy hair while others have hair that looks like a hard shell with lines carve into it. some characters have finely detailed wrinkles while others have thick, cartoonish ones. some characters have realistic proportions while others have more exaggerated features.

stylization is only effective when it's purposeful and consistent, and from what i've seen so far, it's not. it's all over the place.

so there's my thesis about why i dont like the art direction in the trailer lmao

and like i've been saying since it dropped, i am reserving full judgment for the gameplay reveal, but based on the other stuff bioware has teased, i'm not expecting this aspect to change too much. i've seen other ppl who were on the fan council thing say the tone in the game is more in-line with the tone in the other games, so maybe that'll help smooth out this disconnect

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I sent a complaint about my upstairs neighbors to our buildings management despite never having communicated with them directly? Okay so I live in an apartment building. My upstairs neighbors regularly have loud parties (?) It doesn't always sound like it, but at least loud music playing, and sometimes that includes stomping around (assumed dancing) and loud talking/laughing or rarely fighting. This usually occurs on weekend nights, from friday to saturday or from saturday to sunday (most common I'd say), and can last for hours. Sometimes it's just during the day/afternoon, which, annoying, but sure, it's day, can deal with it while just being annoyed.

At some point, this was mainly an issue when I had sleepover guests, since they would sleep in the living room, opposite side of the flat I sleep on, and usually where all that originates (assuming they are also doing this in their living room) But I feel like it has been getting progressively worse, both in volume and times this happens at. It's currently 3.45 am on a Saturday, and they've been going since at least 3, probably earlier, but that's when I woke up/became aware enough to actively notice it. (Proofreading and it's now 4.10am, still going strong up there-) Now, I'm not one to call the police, especially when there is no actual danger or physical harm that can't be dealt with otherwise effectively, bc ACAB, but I've taken several clips with audio tonight because I'm fucking tired and am heavily considering sending the management company for our building a complaint about them. The issue I'm not clear on is mostly...that I never really talked to them directly. I know they've gotten complaints and stopped before, and I've left a note together with a guest of mine in front of their door before. Yet it remains a recurring occurrence. I've never actually knocked or rang the doorbell to directly ask them to stop. I live alone and am afab in my 20s, all I know about my upstairs neighbors is that it's two men (though there's definitely sometimes people over, as I said sometimes these occurrences are definitely parties). At most I will have one friend over who's also afab on these occasions. (We are both trans/nb but p much present as our assigned gender in current circumstances) I also have social anxiety, though I don't think it's particularly unreasonable to be worried to confront unknown men, who will know where I live as well, about literally anything considering we live in a society TM. (Obviously I don't know that it wouldn't just go over very easily however, exactly the issue that you can never rly know that- like ik most people would probably react chill or at best annoyed I'm interrupting them or whatever but there's always a chance to run into the exceptions TM)

I don't need to work on the weekends (though other people in flats around us might, idk) but I still gotta like, maintain my sleeping rhythm ideally, and you know. Generally pleasant to be able to sleep at night if you would like to- I do not know what actions they would or could take if they do consider the complaint at all, but I'm not really assuming they'd like, cause them serious issues regarding their living situation, it's more likely at most they get a letter/some shitty little flyer to not loudly party in the middle of the night get put up in the hallway/at the building doors. But again that's my assumption and not a fact I know for sure, I could be completely wrong about that, and I don't know if there's potential other complaints.

So, WIBTA if I sent clips of the loud music in the middle of the night and a complaint to our building management without knowing potential consequences, even though I have not tried to communicate with my neighbors except a singular note one time?

What are these acronyms?

[keptalivebymagic]

Thoughts on Tithe by Holly Black

I just need to jot these down so I remember them as I read Valiant and Ironside.

I've also read some of the changes made since the original publication and... idk how I feel about them. Most of the changes strike me as unnecessary, except for one: Corny's brief fantasy of shooting up a school would definitely be read differently now than it was in 2002. There have been so many school shootings since then, and increasingly more horrific and violent ones too. In 2002 there was basically just Columbine, which was horrific enough. It was awful then for Corny to have even a fleeting thought about it, but I assume it was clear how much of an errant thought it was. Plus, it's not hard to understand why an impoverished gay kid with a not-great family situation (I say this based on how he calls his stepdad "The Husband") might briefly daydream about causing harm to others. Regardless, in 2020 (when the edit was made, I believe), even a brief daydream would be really tough to read and no reader could continue giving a shit about Corny thereafter, so I'm glad they took it out.

These two changes are ones that I feel iffy about:

Corny's use of the f-slur during a moment of vulnerability strikes me as just him using shock value to protect himself. I don't know if it's unreasonable for an author to have a gay character use that word, especially given that the context leads us to assume Corny has been called a f*ggot by others. Would I personally say that word? No. Would I write it? Probably not. Do I think it's bad enough to warrant being taken out? Only if you're being super cautious, I guess.

The minor correction to avoid generalizing about some white men and their fetishization of East Asian women is just funny. God forbid we have an East Asian girl toss out a generalization about the group of people that creep on her.

As for my thoughts about the rest of the book:

The tone is SO different from The Cruel Prince. I know others have said this, and I'm repeating myself by saying that it feels very typical of post-9/11 art for it to be so grim. Kaye and her friends are poor teens before smartphones became a thing, so their entertainment revolves around stumbling through a crumbling metropolis while their parents similarly struggle to survive. Holly Black does an excellent job of painting the image of the super urban American city, with its litter and car exhaust and decrepit buildings (there's a whole rave on a burned pier??? Is no one afraid it'll crumble???). It's physically sickening for the fae and nauseating for the reader. HB also does a good job in juxtaposing these descriptions with the scent of earth and rotting fruit that she assigns to the Unseelie Court.

It's so bizarre how much smoking there is in this. Kaye is 15? 16? and she smokes like a chimney, with her mom's endorsement.

I love the dichotomy of Kaye's control over Kenny versus over Roiben. Kaye admits that she's drawn to Kenny and enjoys his enchantment with her because she wants to have power over him. She specifically goes on to humiliate him in front of his peers to this end (even though she later regrets it). Meanwhile she has power over Roiben, that she earned somewhat coincidentally and without realizing, and she hates it and really only uses it when she's about to die and when he's about to die. It's a fun duality.

I have questions about the fae fruit. I feel like in TFOTA, it was specifically an apple-esque fruit (Everapple?) that made humans ill and drunk. In Tithe, it seems to be any fruit having that effect (on Corny). Maybe these are details HB fleshed out later and I'll have to keep reading for them.

Roiben is sad and dreamy.

[slotumn]

Prompt for 3H fans:

You're building a cabinet post-canon, and you can assign anyone who's not Byleth, Shez, lords, retainers, or royals with obligations to other nations (so no Petra) to lead the following positions/departments:

Domestic affairs & administration (includes stuff like infrastructure, territory planning, etc)

Military & defense

Science & medicine

Education

Economy & finance

Law & justice

Agriculture & natural resources

Diplomacy & foreign affairs

Who do you pick? (Hopes characters allowed)

Basically it's a build your own house, except it's for an actual post-war government instead of just monthly missions at the academy.

My own picks + reasonings under the cut:

Domestic affairs: Lorenz

Like I said in this post, he's a practical guy. He'd get the roads fixed and the mail system running and he'd be good at negging the local lords into cooperating with the new government.

Military & defense: Holst

He's a good general with real-life experience, and is one of the people who's been trusted to do his own thing militarily in canon and was mostly successful with it (it's what he does offscreen in 3H). Mainly dealt with Almyrans but wasn't a slouch at Gronder against the Empire, either, so I assume he's flexible too.

Science & medicine: Manuela

Look, she might be a hot mess in personal life but I think she's one of the few people who'd be able to do a government job while also having insight and firsthand experience the field she's assigned to. Other possible candidates (Hanneman, Linhardt, etc) for this are better suited as researchers instead of ministers imo.

Education: Seteth

He's overprotective of Flayn, but when it comes to youth who aren't his daughter he's far more reasonable and pretty good at giving advice. Other candidate was Hanneman, but again I think Hanneman is more research professor than a minister in a government.

Economy & finance: Marianne

To be specific, Marianne with Margrave Edmund's tutelage. House Edmund is the money house™. And honestly I don't see many others in the cast who'd be anywhere near suited for this position. Anna doesn't count, merchant mindset and nation-running mindset is different.

Law & justice: Ashe

He wants to follow law/some sort of code and he has a sense of justice, but he also knows from firsthand experience why/how people break the law, so he wouldn't be unreasonably rigid/unyielding in the affairs. Also the token Faerghan of the administration; many others here are Leicesterian (can't help it I have GD bias) but I'd want a unified Fódlan's cabinet to have people from all regions.

Agriculture & natural resources: Leonie

This is probably my most unconventional pick, but my reasoning is that this department would especially require familiarity with on-site/field conditions, and Leonie already has some of that (from a hunter village) + would be willing to go around looking at things herself as needed. Sorry about your dream of leading a mercenary band Leonie but I'm going to stick you in this position until the continent gets back on track. Other possible candidates were Marianne or Lorenz considering their paired ending, but I think they fit the other positions above better. And Bergliez may have the Empire's breadbasket but I am not assigning Caspar or his dad to this position.

Diplomacy & foreign affairs: Ferdinand

He's good at talking, wouldn't mind the tiring schedule of being sent everywhere, and even has an actual ending where he becomes a foreign minister. Other possible candidates were Sylvain or Cyril, but I'd be afraid of Sylvain getting into some sex scandal abroad and Cyril would need more education and training (specifically in Government Official Speak™, if you send him as is he will cause a scandal by calling a foreign official a dumbass to their face).

[tinyhuman826]

A Downpour in Po Town - Guzma Fluff Imagine (Part 1/?)

I'll probably make a part 2 to this at some point if you guys like it

It wasn't the good side of town. Run down buildings, graffiti everywhere, overrun by a group of troublemakers... Oh, and it's storming. You trudge along the worn sidewalk, weeds growing from the cracks in its foundation. You don't know how you got here in the first place. You were supposed to be home by now.

As the rain soaks your hair and clothes, you grow more fatigued with every step. You look around with a squint, the downpour of rain making it difficult to see even 10 feet ahead of you. Most of the houses had large holes in their roofs, so you couldn't find any decent shelter from the storm. The pouring rain continued to pelt you, leaving chills in its wake as you shudder and hug your arms over your chest. You have to keep going. After a while of looking around, you settle for a small patio, sitting down to rest your exhausted muscles, hugging your knees to your chest and closing your eyes...

"...Hellooo? You hear me?" An unfamiliar voice gradually gets louder as you start to wake up. You slowly open your eyes, groan, and look up at the figure standing over you.

"Huh..?" You mumble, glancing around. The rain stopped, and it was lighter outside. How long were you asleep? You shiver as a breeze blows over your body, your soaked clothes ice cold, and your hair sticking to your skin.

"You deaf or sum'?" The man placed his hands on his hips, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry...who are you..?" You slowly come to your senses. He seems oddly familiar. Maybe you've seen him before.

"Name's Guzma. Big bad boss of Team Skull." Great. Now you know why he was so familiar. He offered his hand and helped you up. "So, uh, what brings ya to Po Town? Not really the best place for a midnight stroll, ya know." To be honest, you can't remember. You took a wrong turn...or two...maybe three...shit, how far are you from home?!

"I don't know, guess I got lost.." you said quietly.

"Well you're damn lucky I found ya before ya froze to death out here. What were ya thinkin' stayin' outside during a storm?" He crossed his arms, taking off his jacket and throwing it over your shoulders. It was slightly oversized on him, and it practically went down to your knees, but it was warm and much better than the wind making you feel worse.

"Wasn't a lot I could do with all these broken roofs." You glanced around again, subconsciously pulling his jacket tighter around you. Guzma grabbed your wrist, pulling you along as he walked along the road.

"If ya walked for a few more minutes, ya would've noticed the house with a decent roof." Guzma motioned toward Team Skull's base. It was still run down, but in at least a little better condition than the rest of the town. He led you inside, ignoring the confused glances from the grunts.

"Hey Plumes, ya got any spare clothes?" He called as he led you down the hallway. You heard a response from behind a door.

"Yeah, why?"

"Some dork decided to sit out in the storm." He glanced to you, nudging you ever so slightly. A girl with pink and yellow pigtails came out of the room, holding some spare clothes. "Thanks, Plumes." He called as he took you to the end of the hallway, opening the door and handing you the clothes. "Just, uh... let me know when you're done -" He shut the door, leaving you to change. You slip into the dry clothes, feeling an immediate surge of warmth throughout your skin. You wring out your hair, trying to dry it at least a little, and place your wet clothes in the corner before opening the door.

"So I'm assuming ya don't got a place to stay the night." He was right. You didn't know how to get home from here and couldn't call anyone at such an unreasonable hour. You shook your head in response. "Well, uh... you can sleep in here... or if ya'd rather share with a girl, that's cool too.. I probably won't be in here for a while though, so just holla if ya need anythin'."

"I'm okay in here... thanks for..well, letting me stay. For tonight I mean." You shivered again, sniffling.

"Ya feelin' sick?"

"Just a little cold." He didn't seem satisfied with that answer, gently putting the back of his hand to your forehead.

"Damn, you're burnin' up. You should lay down before you faint." He gently nudged you toward the bed. You lay down on the bed, and he puts the blanket over you. "Sorry, don't got any more medicine. And none of the stores are open, so just... hang in there. I'll send someone in the morning." You nod sleepily as he leaves, hearing faint rap music in the background that slowly fades as you fall into a comfortable, warm, dry sleep.

[bookshelfmonkey]

So I've been having thoughts about Izzy Hands.

But first, a disclaimer: this is meant to be an insight into my thought process. I know that I'm not always the best at examining media from a fully detached, critical perspective (but are any of us, really). I'm taking what I would see as a fairly neutral standpoint, trying to see and understand both sides of the coin. I'm not tagging this as hate, because it isn't intended to be, but if you think I should add any further warnings, please do let me know. Also, if you want to share your opinions, in the comments, tags, reblogs or in messages/asks to me, please do, but any straight-up hate comments (towards other users) will be deleted and I will block you.

Now, a small essay.

Honestly, when I initially watched the show, I didn't like Izzy, and when I came on here and saw people defending his character, I was confused, but y'all have some good points. I might have been somewhat convinced.

Here's the thing: Izzy is not a good character. None of the characters are. They're pirates for christ's sake. They have to be bad/selfish people to survive. Stede is very unique in his generosity towards the crew and, many times, he nearly pays very dearly for that. Obviously Izzy is uneasy with this new guy coming in and assuming half of the control of the ship (also essentially demoting him). Yes, he wants power, but that isn't a trait unique to him, and it's probably not unreasonable given the amount of shit he's probably been through at Ed's side (how many jobs have been "outsourced" to him, I wonder). It's reasonable that he's pissed that he's been overlooked and it's very reasonable that he's wary of Stede, someone who (at least in his outward appearance) represents the British aristocracy, a force that was almost definitely hugely oppressive in his, and many other pirates' lives (you don't become a pirate if you already have all the wealth you need, Stede is very much an outlier in this case).

Secondly, Izzy doesn't necessarily see much (if any) of Stede and Ed's emotional bonding. He doesn't learn (as Ed does) that Stede can be trusted and (given Ed's reckless behaviour), doesn't immediately trust his judgement on Stede and immediately trust him. Not to mention that, to the best of his knowledge, Ed is simply failing to meet the goal that he set (killing Stede) and just seems to be procrastinating the whole thing. You could even go as far as to say that Izzy fundamentally believes that Stede needs to be killed (he is, after all, a rival captain) and is trying to protect Ed from the pain of getting to know him and love him then having to kill him.

There's also the element of Izzy's (potential, I can't remember any solid evidence of this, but my memory is unreliable at best, so please correct me) past relationship with Ed. He potentially still has feelings for Ed and here comes this new guy who, again, represents everything they've worked against, coming in and taking Ed from him, changing him into someone wholly unfamiliar.

But there is another side to this story. I think, definitely as the viewers, we're encouraged to get invested in Ed and Stede's romance from the beginning. We see them grow closer and learn to trust each other and Izzy gets in the way of them achieving this goal. It's natural, as consumers of media, to get frustrated about this and to dislike the "obstacle". We also see how Ed grows and changes as a person, becoming happier and generally more content in his life. To us, it can seem that Izzy is trying to get in the way of this for his own personal gain and, to be fair, there's very little chance that Izzy doesn't know what he's doing to some extent.

And, building on my earlier point about Stede representing the aristocracy, it does not help Izzy's case that he turns to the British navy for help.

Ultimately, everyone on this show is at least a little bit fucked up and morals are completely out of the window. It's all just emotions and shit, so watch your emotions as you respond to media and please don't harass others.

I'm still not too sure why people hold such strong opinions on this, but I guess I did just write multiple paragraphs on it.

Again, please do respond. I want to talk to people.

[evieismol]

Big Bend Chapter Eighteen - Zoey

Word count: 2254

A/N: I wrote this in first person because I was keeping it fresh and def not because I was switching between this and a story for work and forgot.

Content warnings: vague mention of giants eating people. It’s like one line but still. Light angst

Previous Chapter

Chapter Eighteen

My gaze remained fixed on the narrow section of road I could actually see in front of me. I knew my headlights were bad, but I hadn't realized how bad until I was out in the literal middle of nowhere, with little more than the crescent moon above to offer light. My phone had given up on trying to find reception a while ago, as had I. I was about to pull over so I could actually look at the paper map beside her when she saw a faint glow in the distance.

Finally. Something, I thought. It looked too dim and concentrated to be the town I’d been looking for - Marfa. Still, it was better than nothing. I decided I’d stay on the current road a bit longer - it seemed to be leading towards the light.

It wasn’t until I was pulling into a parking lot outside a dark building that I realized where I was, and only thanks to the sign directly in front of her.

“Big Bend National Park,” I murmured. That was sort of near Marfa, I thought I recalled from the map. Maybe. Admittedly, I wasn’t too sure about that - I had only the vaguest recollections of hearing the park’s name before. I thought I remembered it being on the news a few months back - Jake had been ranting about it at one point. I had mostly just been relieved that he wasn’t yelling at me, though, and hadn’t paid much attention to what had drawn his ire. Knowing Jake, it could have been anything from a vaguely liberal sounding policy to someone’s haircut in the background that he didn’t like. It probably said a lot that I was sitting in the dark god knows where, in an unfamiliar state, and still felt relieved to be away from him.

Sighing, I turned on the overhead light in my car, grabbing the map from the passenger seat.

Big Bend was near Marfa, as it turned out. Relatively, anyways, since the town looked to be about an hour away on the map. Groaning, I looked from the map to the dark desert surrounding me. I didn’t want to get back on the rural, winding roads that had taken me here in pitch blackness, with only a faint idea of where I was going. After all, if I’d gotten lost by at least an hour once, who knows where I might end up next time. I looked to the visitor center in front of her.

At least this was something.

I could spend the night here, and figure out how to get to Marfa in the morning. Maybe I could ask someone for directions then. Or at least be able to see my map without risking careening into a dark ditch. It wasn’t like this was the worst place I would have slept, afterall. I glanced around the parking lot again. I guessed it was probably day use only by the complete lack of cars there. Still, National Parks allowed camping, right?

There’s probably a campsite or something nearby, I guessed. There was a road heading behind the darkened visitor center. And in the direction of the faint glow of light I had seen earlier. I glanced at the clock. It was a little past ten. Late, but not so late it seemed unreasonable someone else might be up. I decided I’d follow the road for a bit. Best case scenario, I found a campground or someone I could ask for directions. Worst case scenario, maybe I could find a spot that was at least a little bit out of the way to get a few hours of sleep in without getting a ticket. I had only been driving about five minutes when it hit her how dark it was, aside from the dim glow of lights in front of her.

What is that? I’d assumed it was the visitor center at first, but I’d passed by the dark building already now. I pulled my car into an empty dirt lot on the side of the road, deciding I’d check it out. It dawned on me that this was exactly how people died in horror movies. But this was real life, not a movie, and I figured I was probably far more likely to stumble across a tailgate at a campsite than an axe wielding maniac. Plus, they might be able to give me some directions. Getting out of my car and switching on my phone’s flashlight, I realized there was a somewhat steep cliff about a hundred feet to the side of where I’d parked. The light was definitely coming from beyond it. I walked over, growing more curious.

The cliff was even more…cliff-y than I had initially thought. There was no way I was climbing that. Not even in the daylight, with actual climbing shoes and not the tennis shoes I was currently wearing. Instead, I made my way along the bottom of the cliff face, hoping there might be a lower section I could see over. I ended up finding something better - a sort of semi-narrow gap leading through the cliff. At least, I guessed it was through, giving the light I could see spilling out from it. It looked almost like a canyon, if a canyon was only about six feet wide.

Yeah, I’m so dying first in a horror movie, I thought. And then I walked into the gap. The channel was only about twenty feet long, I learned, though the sharp right turn in the center had obscured the end from view on the other side. Upon rounding that bend, I saw the source of the light. I stopped short. I faintly wondered if I was hallucinating. I didn’t think I’d been awake for that long, though. Sitting in front of me, down a steep embankment, was a house. It proportionally looked similar to the ones I’d seen on various tiktok videos out tiny house living. Except for one minor detail - it was easily a couple hundred feet tall.

Why is there a tiny-not tiny house in the middle of the desert?

I didn’t have long to mull over that question, because movement to my right caught my attention. Directly to my right, about a hundred feet up the steep slope in front of me. I turned my flashlight in the direction it had came from. And almost dropped it seconds later. There was a giant. Like, an actual fucking giant, even compared to the giants I’d seen before. He was half leaning against the steep slope - I guessed it probably wasn’t nearly as steep to him. He was tall enough that my flashlight only actually illuminated a portion of the green sweater he was wearing. He noticed me mere moments after I noticed him, and his eyes widened. I felt like he probably also would have almost dropped his flashlight if he’d been carrying one. He quickly took out his airpods - or airpod lookalikes, since I wasn’t sure they made airpods that big.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” I said quickly.

“It’s fine,” he said, looking more confused than I felt. “I mean, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you walk up, I was listening to music.”

“I’m kind of surprised you heard me at all. Wait, should I be talking louder?” I wasn’t really sure what the etiquette was for talking to giants, admittedly. He shook his head.

“No, you’re good. Really good hearing is like an Aphirial thing-“

“You’re an aphirial?” I asked, realizing I cut him off halfway through my question. “Sorry.”

I remembered hearing that name a few times in the past. Mostly in connection with campfire tales or horror films. They were like, super scary man eating giants, in both of said works.

Fuck, I would literally be the first person to die in a horror movie.

The person in front of me definitely fit the giant part of that description. He didn’t seem particularly scary, though. And he had yet to eat me, which would have been as simple as leaning over to pick me up. So, I was probably okay, I reasoned.

“Yeah,” he said after a moment. “Wait, so you had no idea I was an aphirial, or here? In general, I mean.”

“No?” I said. “It does explain the house, though.”

Oh. That’s probably what the news was talking about. And what Jake had been pissed about.

“So you like, live here?” I continued. For the single question that had been answered - why the house was there - I now had about a dozen more. Namely, why was a giant alien living here. Luckily, the giant answered at least a few of those questions almost as soon as they’d come to mind.

“Yeah. Um, and work here. I mean, I live here because I work here. I’m a park ranger here.”

“That’s cool,” I said. Mostly because it was the first thing to come to mind. “I wanted to be a park ranger when I was a kid.”

That had been the second thing to come to mind. I thankfully didn’t say the third thing, which was that I probably didn’t have to worry about him eating me then if he was a park ranger, because that had to go against job rules.

“I really enjoy it,” the giant said. “My name’s Easton, by the way.”

“I’m Zoey,” I replied. “You know, I’m kind of glad I ran into you then. Cus I’m lost. Well, sort of. I was trying to go to Marfa and I ended up in the park, and then I was trying to find someplace to get a few hours of sleep but then I saw some lights and thought I’d go check it out.”

“Oh,” Easton said, in a way that made me pretty sure he was also thinking about my lack of survival instinct in wandering off into the dark desert. “Well, if you continue on the main road back there for another half mile or so, you’ll see a turn off to another road on the right. Dispersed camping is allowed, as long as you’re at least 300m from the road. It’s new this year. I don’t think anyone would care if you slept in your car for the night, though. We just don’t want a ton of vans and tents just off the road.”

“Huh. You really are a park ranger.”

Easton gave a short laugh.

“What brought you out here, anyways?” I asked.

“I was watching the stars,” Easton said after a moment. I paused. I thought I heard a sliver of something like sadness in his voice. I looked up at his face. It was hard to tell due to the combination of the darkness and the small portion of him illuminated by my phone flashlight. All the same, I thought I saw redness around his eyes, a glimmer of partially dried tears on his face.

“Are you okay?” My question was tentative. Easton glanced down at me, swallowing and quickly straightening up.

“Yeah. Just a long day at work,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I used to work at a grocery store, and dealing with the public was the worst. It’s probably worse as a park ranger. I mean, not to assume that’s what’s wrong. Even though I did just assume.” I realized I was rambling, and promptly closed my mouth.

“No, it’s fine. You’re sort of right anyways,” Easton said.

“Oh. Well, good to know the general public is still awful, then. One time this guy accused me of being part of a cult that controlled the world because the store I worked at had raised the price of his favorite toilet paper brand. Still not really sure what the logic was on that one,” I said with a dry laugh.

“Toilet paper?” Easton questioned.

“Yeah. It was only by like five cents too.”

“I think I have you beat on that one,” Easton said after a moment. “Today a guy showed up and accused me of being…a spy? I think. And plotting world domination or something, and then he told this little kid I would eat him and his parents-“ Easton stopped abruptly, looking down.

“Yikes,” I said. “And I thought the cult thing was bad.”

Easton gave a half hearted laugh.

“So…you’re not plotting to take over the world, then?” I asked jokingly. That time he actually laughed. He wiped his eyes.

“Oh, no, that part was totally true, actually,” he replied sarcastically. “I’m kidding,” he added hurriedly.

“That’s too bad, cus the cult I’m apparently a part of sent me to deliver a message to your leaders.” I feigned disappointment, shrugging. We both laughed.

“Thanks,” Easton said after a moment.

“What for?” I asked.

“Talking to me, I guess,” he said. “Like I’m a person and not a spectacle or monster or something.”

“Well, yeah. You are a person.” I replied. I yawned, the length of the day crashing around me at once. “I should probably go find a place to sleep, though. Maybe I’ll see you around tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here. In the park, I mean. Probably not right here-anyways, it was nice to meet you.”

“You too. I hope you enjoy the stars,” I said.

“I do,” he replied. I turned, walking back to my car. That was decidedly not what I’d expected when I went to investigate the light. It was hardly a bad outcome, though. At least I knew one person in Texas now.