#it's probably going to be fine. but i am. scared.
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inner child pac reading
🦀 pile one,,
I know we're used to being super helpful, but it's good to help yourself too. you should always make sure you're okay first. It's important for us to be okay, even if other people don't think so. we should think so. things are gonna be okay for us. they always are. I want to do the things we like. I don't understand why you care about what people think now. I think we should try doing what we like more, even if it's embarrassing. it doesn't have to take a lot of time. it's just good to have fun sometimes. maybe you can get back into some of our old interests if you want?
it seems like this pile had to mature quickly and was overly generous in childhood. this likely led to some people pleaser habits. when the world said "be nice" and "care about others" you took it to heart, but it felt like you were the only one who did. you felt like you had to be the adult in your childhood and care for other people around you. for some of you, you may have had to care for a parental/older familiar figure or your siblings. you're used to changing your words and your personality to be more digestible and gentle because this strong fear of conflict. you were scared of people being mean to you, so you avoided making anyone mad. it was like you were always tiptoeing over eggshells. now, you don't have to, so there's no point in worrying about people who don't worry about you. you'd be doing yourself and your inner child a favor by doing what you want. it might feel wrong to be yourself, but at least try. I won't delve too much into this part, but I believe some people in this pile also dealt with being oversexualized or being hyper sexual at a young age. I think it's important to know you're more than what you can give others for this pile. please also take a break for the love of god.
🐸 pile two,,
It's hard to feel loved if nobody shows you. at the same time, i don't think I'd want to be loved. it seems weird and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it so it's scary. I still wish that someone would care at least. it feels like nobody else cares. I'm really tired of things being silent and boring all the time. I want to do something fun. I want friends but I want to be by myself. people think I'm weird, but I think they're the weird ones. they can avoid me but I wouldn't wanna be friends with them anyway. it doesn't matter if it's lonely, I don't feel less lonely around people anyway. some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. i heard I look mean or I act mean sometimes, but what if that's just who I am? I don't try to be mean to people. I just don't want people to hurt me.
holy neglect trauma... there's a lot to unpack here 😓 first off, I hope you're alright. it seems like this pile never really learned how to interact with people and is probably still a bit of a people hater. this pile has had to keep strong boundaries and walls on to protect themselves from unfamiliar experiences (being spoken to positively.) if you've never experienced something, it can be scary but you have to stop thinking every little thing is gonna go wrong in your life. it's fine. separate note but I think someone's ancestors are very present here, might want to connect with them if you don't already. you can try to shut down the feelings of loneliness and pretend connection won't help but it does. you're probably not connected with your inner child or you're ashamed of yourself for some reason. trying to be cold won't undo anything or save you from the feelings you're hiding. you'll have to acknowledge them at some point. escapism and forcing ignorance wont help forever. hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but that's your choice. it's okay to be soft, btw.
🐕 pile three,,
I know what I'm talking about. I'm serious. I wish people would take me more seriously. i get good grades, I study hard, I always prove how smart I am. for some reason, people still act like I'm too young and stupid to have opinions or that what I say is just silly, especially with emotions. they act like having emotions makes you a less rational person. some people look down on me for who I am, too. it's not something I can change. whether it's gender, age, or whatever, people always want an excuse to ignore how I feel or what I have to say. I know I'm right though. I don't want us to stop expressing ourselves. I wanna share how I feel to the world.
this pile is extremely opinionated and knows how to share their emotions. this pile is for the "bossy" kids who "should have been lawyers" or "a CEO" according to every adult around them. you were emotional as a child and it was always ignored or joked off as if your feelings were invalid. this pile is definitely natural-born leaders so if you aren't/never have been aspiration-driven or "extra" this pile probably isn't yours. the most healing thing you can do for yourself at this point is speak up. continue to speak about everything. share your opinion more, it's safe now and people will actually take you seriously. be emotional, be too much, be annoying, be talkative, be over-opinionated, be everything you feel like being and don't let anyone talk you out of it. lead your life how you want to. call everything out, even if it means being weird. I definitely feel like some people in this pile had the gifted kid experience or liked to read a lot when they were younger. there's also some unresolved anger that might need to be taken care of. I think speaking up more instead of bottling feelings up will definitely help that, though. you're not stupid or weak for being emotional. just be yourself unapologetically and that's the best thing you can do for your younger self.
#chocoqtelle#tarot#pac reading#free tarot#pick a card#pac tarot#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick an image reading#tarot pac#inner child#nostalgia#childhood#free tarot reading#pick a card reading#pickacard#pick a photo#pick a card readings#pick a card tarot reading#pick a pile reading#pick an image#tarot pick a card#pac#love tarot reading#love pac#love tarot free#love tarot#tarot cards#witchblr
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Astray, Kim Woon-hak !
synopsis : you catch yourself slowly but surely falling back in-love with your ex, the break up was mutual neither one of you was toxic or just flat out a horrible partner in the relationship. maybe rekindling that won’t hurt…
genre : exes to lovers, fluff, a little angst (lmk if i forgot something)
pairing : bf!woonhak x reader
𐙚 word count : 1.8k
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you and woonhak have been broken up for about 7 months now, you took it surprisingly well. no one cheated or anything the break up was mutual you both felt as though you were in two different places at the time.
over the course of 7 months you found some new hobbies and really started to learn to enjoy your own company. one hobby in particular you loved was skateboarding. you liked the thrill and excitement you got from putting the board on the ground and riding through the skate park with it.
anytime you had free time you spent it at the skate park, one day you really really wanted to try this new trick you saw on tiktok the fact it was on tiktok you knew you shouldn’t try it out, but you liked the thrill.
it was about 7pm the sun was setting and you’d been at the skate park all day. you finally decided to try out the trick, no one was around so if you fell no one would see you.
the trick was call a Grind. meaning you slide the board along a surface, not necessarily the board the trucks of the board.
you could already jump and spin the board and land perfectly, so you did that a few times to warm up. but then you heard someone clap whixh startled you and you lost your balance on your board falling but you caught the fall with your hands.
“are you okay? did i scare you?” a familiar voice spoke as they helped you up from the ground.
“woonhak?” you asked before looking up. and behold there was woonhak smiling at you, despite living in the same neighborhood you haven’t seen him in 7 months probably cause you spent your free time here.
“yea it’s me y/n” he helped you to your knees. you both stand there making direct eye contact, he looks away and scratch the back of his neck nervously chuckling.
“so uh, how have you been?” “what are you doing here?” you both spoke at the same time causing you both to laugh.
“well i’ve been good, it’s been awhile woonhak. surprised to see you here.” you said making him look back at you.
“are you really surprised to see me? this was my home for the longest.” he laughed.
and just like that you’re busted, you spent the last 7 months going to the skate park and any chance you got just so you could possibly run into woonhak. but of course he couldn’t know that.
“yea..” you let out an awkward laugh, he picks up on it and smiles at you. “you asked what i’m doing here,” he showed you his board “i haven’t been here since we broke up, something told me to come here today so here i am.” he spoke you caught a hint of genuine in his voice.
you knew the part about him not coming since you both broke up was somewhat true since you’d been coming here everyday since you both broke up. a part of you felt like he wasn’t necessarily telling the truth about why he actually came.
he placed his board on the ground and kicked off, “let’s see if you can keep up.” he laughed as he got further and further from you.
your board already being on the ground you placed your left foot on the board and kicked off, “hey! no fair” you said laughing.
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an hour passed by and you both are still at the skate park. “y/n,” woonhak said your name causing you to look up at him “genuinely what prompted you to start skating? was it another guy…?” he mumbled that last part and it caused your face to form a small smile.
“only if you tell me what you’re really doing here.” you replied, “fine, i’ll walk you home and we can catch up.” he said getting up off the ground reaching his hand out to help you up.
you missed this, you kind of forgot how much of a gentleman he was… you felt butterflies in your stomach. you took his hand and let him help you.
“you live closer do you really want to walk with me? we could just-“ he cut you off “i insist.” he said. you nodded and started dusting the dust and dirt off your pants.
“alright let’s go!” you said placing your left foot on your board and slightly kicking off with your right foot, he walked beside you as you slowly skate on your board.
“soo…” you said breaking the silence. “well what do you wanna know? the floor is yours.” he replied.
“i still want to know why you were at the park today, but i’ll save that for later.” you said.
“how have you been though? hopefully good.” you added. “actually i took the break up pretty hard which is why i stopped going to the skate park.” he says, you placed your right foot in the ground to stop your skating.
he noticed and he stopped walking, he turned around and slightly tilted his head at you.
“you took the break up hard?” you asked, “now i feel bad because i didn’t take it bad…” you added.
but i think you did take it bad without realizing, you went to the skate park almost everyday hoping you’d run into woonhak, the reason you learned to skate was so that you could impress him.
you looked down to the ground your foot fidgeting with your board.
“hey…” he walked back towards you, “don’t feel bad everyone takes things differently,” he explained. “i’m actually relieved you took it well, i would’ve stressed if you hadn’t.” he added.
“woonhak,” you spoke still looking at the ground, “did you think of me? at least once or twice…?” now you were fidgeting with your hands.
you don’t know why you were so nervous it’s just woonhak, you haven’t felt like this sense you and woonhak first met… i mean of course he made you shy when you were together but you soon got comfortable around him, felt like you were back at square one. you like this feeling.
“y/n, i thought of you everyday… still thinking of you now,” he expressed, “i missed you.”
you smile hearing his words suddenly you were so giddy, you didn’t want to make it obvious but it was already so obvious you missed him as well.
“i missed you too woonhak.” you whispered and smiled to yourself.
“i needed to hear that.” he spoke grabbing your board off the ground carrying it in his right arm with his board. he reached his left hand out to grab yours. you hesitated, but he grabbed it anyway.
you both walked hand in hand for a few minutes the silence wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable.
“what did you do for the last 7 months?” you spoke breaking the silence.
“school and that’s about it, you?” he asked, “school and in my free time the skate park, i see why you spent alot of time there. it’s peaceful just you and the sound of the board on the ground.” you trail off realizing how cringe that might’ve sounded.
he lets out a light chuckle before speaking “you know the real reason i went to the skate park today was because your mom told me you we’re there.”
“huh my mom? why’d she tell you that?” you asked sounding confused. he stopped walking, but you kept walking you stopped and turned around after realizing he stopped cause his arm pulled you back.
“because i went to your house in hopes of seeing you,” he trailed off.
you stood there for awhile then you walked up to him, he continued “i acted off impulse, i really wanted to see you but didn’t know if i should call or stop by… so i just stopped by. and that’s when your mom told me you were at the skate park.” he spoke, he looked in your eyes searching for an answer or something.
you look into his eyes seeing a hint of vulnerability, “woonhak…” you gently grabbed his face with your free hand.
“i have a confession, i only learned how to skate because i wanted to impress you… i thought that if maybe you saw me on my board you would think i’m cool.” you chuckled.
“i wanted us to have something in common i learned how to skate for you but ended up actually falling in love with it.” you added, he put his board on the ground upside down and did the same with yours.
“seeing you on your skate board only made me fall more inlove with you than i already am.” your eyes widen at his response.
“i-inlove..?” you stutter trying to process what you just heard.
he loves you? prior to breaking up you two were only together for 4 months you didn’t even hit the “i love you” stage yet. you were taken aback.
“yes y/n, i am inlove with you more than you know more than i can put into words.”
“i never wanted to break up, i wanted to stay together but because that was your choice i just agreed.” he trailed off “y/n you don’t understand how much i love you, and neither do i… which probably why i agreed to break up, all this is new to me and i was scared.” he confessed.
he grabbed your hand that was cuffed on his face holding onto it.
“woonhak, why wouldn’t you just communicate this with me you dummy!?” your eyes start watering. he notices and pulls you into a hug using the hand that was holding your hand.
he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“i would’ve told you i love you more.” you confessed but it was muffled due to your head being buried in his chest, “everyday without you was dreadful, i missed your scent, your smile, your laugh. i just missed you as a whole.” he kissed your forehead.
“y/n,” he pulled away still holding onto your waist, before you could answer him he cupped your face looking directly into your eyes, this was it you were about to have your first kiss.
you pull away, analyzing his face before pulling him back into the kiss.
after the kiss he mumbled the words “i love you, always have y/n.” and your face goes red… “so cute.”
he put his arm around your shoulder pulling you close to him and you both continued to walk home.
until you realize you left your boards, “woonhak silly you left the boards.” he turned around and laughed, he jogged back and grabbed them before placing his arm around your shoulder again. and you both walked down the quiet neighborhood laughing.
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authors notes : i hope you all enjoyed this short woonhak story lol, i was up late last night and proof read it this morning. please excuse any errors if there are any. don’t know how i feel about this story but i definitely had fun writing it, i hope everyone has/had a great day !
perm taglist (open) : requests (open) !
#boynextdoor#woonhak#woonhak x reader#boynextdoor x reader#boynextdoor x y/n#woonhak x y/n#boynextdoor scenarios
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Whump Dialogue
Whumper:
"Come here, whumpee. There you go, good boy"
"Oh don't worry, I'm not going to kill you, but you're probably going to wish I did"
"Caretaker? You really think they can save you now? Look around, I call the shots here, you arent getting out unless I say so"
"No, no caretaker, you got it all wrong. I'm not going to hurt you..... Whumpee on the other hand..." (Whumpee and caretaker can swap places in this one)
"I want you to know, caretaker. Whumpee struggled, held out as long as he could, waiting for you to save him. Too bad that day never came, did it?"
"Don't worry caretaker, I haven't been hurting our whumpee too bad. He only lost a fraction of his blood, not enough to be fatal."
"Hm, y'know the bruises on your face really bring out the bright color of your eyes. Oh how pretty you look when I'm done with you, isn't that right, whumpee?"
"Caretaker doesn't love you, whumpee. Nobody does, only I do"
"Look, caretaker, look at all you failed to prevent" (whumper showing caretaker what they've done to whumpee)
Whumpee:
"Fuck you, I'll never give into yo- GAAAGH"
"Caretaker.....hurts"
"Caretaker, whumper, he's behind you"
"I thought you wouldn't come"
"Why did you help me"
"Caretaker will find me, and more importantly, find you. And when they do, what you've done to me will look like a tea party in comparison"
"You shouldn't have come, caretaker."
"MOVE, ITS A TRAP" (said by whumpee when caretaker enters their cell)
"GET DOWN" (said by whumpee before taking an attack that was meant for teammate)
"Please......" (Said by a shaking and bloody whumpee, staring at the weapon in whumpers hand)
"Wait, caretaker, I never told you....thank you, for everything. I owe you my life"
"You don't have to monitor me, caretaker, I'm fine. You should get some rest"
Caretaker:
"Whumpee.....oh my god, what did they do to you"
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you, but I am now"
"Please, please don't hurt them" (said by caretaker with a tear falling down their cheek, only able to plead with whumper to not hurt whumpee)
"STOP, NO STOP, HURT ME, PLEASE" (said by caretaker as whumper begins to stalk towards a defenseless whumpee)
"YOU SON OF A BITCH, IM GONNA KILL YOU" (screamed by caretaker as they're forced to watch whumper attack whumpee)
"WHUMPEE, RUN" (screamed by caretaker towards whumpee, as they both get attacked)
"Of course I came for you, no way I'd leave you behind"
"You aren't leaving my sight until you recover, understand?"
"It's my fault, whumpee, I'm so sorry"
"Whumpee, get some rest. That's an order"
"Don't you dare fucking hurt them"
Whumpee x caretaker:
C: "whumpee it's ok, it's ok. I'm here, darling, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
C: "do you need anything else, love?"
W: "um, a kiss, maybe?"
C: "hm, of course, dear"
C: "whumpee, I was so scared. I couldn't .. I can't lose you too."
W: "you didn't, I'm still here. I'm sorry I scared you, love."
C: "it's ok, dear, it's ok. I got you, I'm not letting go, ever"
W: "funny, I thought you hated me. Y'know earlier when you said you didn't want to see me again, and now here we are. Me bleeding on your couch, and you helping me"
C: "would you shut up, I'm trying to work here."
W: "yeah, no pressure, but my life is on the line here"
C: "you stupid idiot, why did you do that?"
W: "I.... I couldn't let them hurt you, caretaker."
C: "w...why?"
W: "because I love you, you idiot"
I'm thinking of making another one of these but idk if I should.
#whump#whump prompt#whump writing#whumpee#caretaker#writing prompt#whump community#whumpblr#whumpee x caretaker#whumper#whump blog#whumping#whump ideas#whump inspiration#whump dialogue#whump inspo#whump dynamics#writer stuff#dialogue prompt#character dialogue#writing dialogue#dialogue ideas#writing ideas#writerscommunity#romance writing#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing inspiration#writing inspo
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Time Travelers AU - Bathroom Break
I am baaaaaaaack on the story ! For those who missed it I published everyone's backstory, all are linked in the master post !
@ancha-aus it's been a while since I tagged you here
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I feel like this chapter is way too short compared to the time it took me to write it
Here it was: the moment Dust dreaded the most... going back to work. Not that there was a problem with his job, his colleagues were fine, the customers were usually nice except for some exceptions, but it was to be expected when working in a fast food. No, the thing that worried him was leaving his roommates, because they were basically roommates, alone all day. He wasn't afraid they would fight, thought Nightmare had been quite distant these past few days, he didn't participate in conversations during meals and usually just translated for Killer and asked him a few things, but apart from that he always seemed moody, mad about something and avoiding them. It did worry Dust, maybe it was something he did, or didn't do, that caused the noble to change his behavior ? He'll need to talk about it with him. Regarding the others they all seemed to get along, he noticed Cross would sometimes lower his guard when Killer talked, or rather rambled, to him to listen to what he was saying, which was something important to note as the knight only ever left the door to eat, Dust knew it because he saw him sleeping while still standing. Horror was nice to everyone, just not paying much attention to Nightmare as he seemed to avoid him more than the others anyway, and Killer just liked to chat with everyone, not caring if they understood him or not. So no, Dust wasn't scared they would fight. He was scared they would get bored, get curious and break something or even hurt themselves, that someone would knock at the door and call the cops when seeing them, or many other things they could do that could result in troubles both for them and for Dust. He really didn't need that.
Dust sighed, preparing yet another burger and putting it in a bag for those at the drive through, he didn't need to think about it anymore, the movements were basically muscle memory at that point. Should he introduce the others to burgers ? Maybe he could order everyone a burger once he got his paycheck, and he could buy soda and potatoes to make the fries himself ? Would they even like it ? Nightmare would probably despise the grease, maybe Cross too as he seemed to be very in shape, but he had a feeling Killer and Horror would like it. Well, that could be a plan for later then.
He felt someone tap on his shoulder.
- Break time, I'm taking your place.
His colleague said. Was it already his break ? He didn't see the time pass, for once. Well, he usually didn't have much to think about, so he must admit he wasn't particularly focused on the time that day.
- Oh, okay, thanks.
He finished the burger he was making before putting down his apron and going to the changing rooms to grab his phone in his locker. He then went to the bathroom, not that he needed to go as he was a skeleton, but he liked sitting on the throne in his little cabin, that way he didn't have to sit in the staff's room and make small talk with the others, he could just scroll on his phone for fifteen minutes without being disturbed. He sometimes wished he had a digestive system so he could take a dump on company time and be paid for it, but he didn't have one, anything a skeleton consumed was either turned into magic or would get thrown up if the body couldn't "digest" it. What a shame, honestly.
He wondered for a moment if he should call home on the land-line, but he soon figured it would be useless as he didn't teach them how to pick up a phone, so he just hoped everything was fine and went on socials to see what new brainrot was available to pass the time.
His alarm went off after fifteen minutes, indicating the end of his break. He sighed.
- Alright, here we go again...
He muttered to himself, getting up without flushing, and opened the door to step out of the cabin. He tripped on a branch and fell face first on the grass.
Cross flinched, planting his sword in the ground as to maintain balance when he felt everything shift around him. The house had dissapeared, and he found himself in a field surrounded by a forest. It felt like a few days ago, when he appeared in Dust's backyard, he had felt the air sting and crackle before everything shifted, and when he opened his eyes, he was somewhere else.
Where was he now ? He pulled his sword from the ground, holding it tight in case a threat would appear, and looked around him, were the others here too ? He heard a noise behind him, and quickly turned, only to see Killer gripping on a branch, hanging from a tree. As he was about to run by his side he saw Horror coming out from behind a bush, leaves and twigs stucked in the furr of his coat. Killer saw him too.
- Horrooooooor ! Adiuvaaaaa ! He cried.
Horror jumped, not expecting to hear a voice above him, and quickly went to grab Killer and put him safely on the ground. The Roman then immediately opened his bag to make sure all of his stuffs were with him, and sighed in relief before looking up at the Viking.
- Gratis..
Horror nodded, then looked at Cross.
- Vel ?
He asked, thought Cross didn't understand, but he supposed Horror asked him if he was doing good, as he looked concerned. Cross was doing fine, he wasn't hurt and by chance landed on his feet and on a plain surface, unlike Killer who ended up in a tree.
- Eo vais ben, mercit.
He thanked him, before hearing a spine-chilling scream.
- Google noooooooo !!
All three of them turned quickly, startled, and saw Dust, a little farther, kneeling on the ground with his little magic rectangle in his hands, visibly distressed.
- Dust ? Killer called, bene facis ?
- Google's dead ! Dust cried out, holding his rectangle in the air, it's mort, morz, mortuus, liflátinn, dead !!
Cross froze, who was dead ? Who was so important that Dust had to announce their death in five languages ? Was his rectangle dead ? Wait, wasn't the rectangle what allowed them to communicate ? Oh. They might have a problem then.
They looked at each other for a minute, not knowing how to save the rectangle from death, before Killer went to the wheeping skeleton and kneeled before him, looking through his bag. Dust looked up at him when he took out the thick book Dust had been reading recently: the Old Norse dictionary. Cross remembered Killer shoving the book in his bag when Dust left without it, saying he would keep it safe until he returned. Dust looked at the dictionary in awe, taking it carefully.
- Oh my fucking god, Killer, I love you so much right now, gratis.. !
Killer smiled, happy to have been useful.
As Dust was getting up with Killer's help they heard a new noise, and as they turned, they were met with a rather unusual sight: Nightmare, the very sophisticated Nightmare, was laying face flat in a mud puddle, the only mud puddle in the whole field, and looked particularly horrified, and disgusted, when he stood on his elbows, his face covered with mud. Killer couldn't help but burst out with laughter, especially when Nightmare tried to get up only to slip and fall again. Cross heard Dust fight back his own laughter and Horror chuckled, but even if the scene was indeed funny, Nightmare trully looked distressed, and Cross couldn't leave him like that.
- Sire !
He rushed to his side, helping him up by letting him grab him for balance, not caring if he dirtied his armor as it was rather easy to clean.
- Vous trouvez cela amusant !? Nightmare yelled, angry, and shaking slightly, asking if they found it funny.
Horror raised his hands in an apalogy motion, but Killer was still pretty much dying on the ground, wheezing and holding his non-existant stomach, Dust simply avoiding his gaze. Nightmare huffed, a shameful blush on his cheeks as Cross helped him step out of the puddle and sit on a log nearby as he tried to wipe the mud from his face, taking his gloves off as they were just as muddy anyway.
- Estes-vos blecié, sire ? Cross asked, wanting to know if he was hurt.
Nightmare shook his head, he wasn't hurt, physically at least. Cross nodded, standing straight again to look at the others: Killer had stopped laughing and was now catching his breath, Dust was looking at their surroundings, and Horror was looking at Nightmare, thoughtful, but didn't come any closer.
Now that everyone was here, they needed to think of a plan. They needed to figure out where they ended up, or when, if they could seek shelter somewhere, or if they couldn't and would have to build a sort of nest at least for the night, what they could hunt or gather, take turn to stand guard, ... Horror didn't seem to have his axe with him, which was... rather inconvenient, but he was pretty sure Killer still had his knives in his bag so it meant they were at least two with weapons to defend the group. He looked down at Nightmare again. They had to find water.
He sighed and gestured to everyone to come closer. He would rather they didn't split up.
- Nos devons trover eaue, he said, glancing at Nightmare who was still staring at his hands, senz se séparer, he added, looking back at them.
- Okay wait, Dust stopped him, "eaue" means water, right ? I mean he does need to wash himself so it would make sense he needs water... wait I think I remember the translation... he thought for a while, looking throught the dictionary, okay so.. aqua for Latin ? Aaaand... vatn for Old Norse.
Killer snorted.
- Sordidus est, aqua eget.
Cross wasn't sure what that meant, but judging by Nightmare's glare it most likely was a mockery, or one of the Roman's usual tease at least. He wanted to reprimand him, now wasn't the time for teasing, but Horror was faster than him and gave Killer a gentle nudge on the shoulder, shaking his head disapprovingly, to which Killer whined but didn't push it. Horror then pointed at the woods.
- Vatn.
Before anyone could reply, he opened the way. He had fallen in a bush and heard running water in the distance when he got up, surely there was a river nearby.
- Wait wait wait ! Dust interrupted again, Horror stopping to look at him. We're just gonna accept that we apparently got tossed throught time ? I mean it ain't you guys first time but it is mine ! And I actually have to go back to work !
Cross frowned. Work ? He knew what work meant, but why was Dust talking about work ? Oh, right ! Dust was supposed to be at work ! But he couldn't get back to work now, they didn't even know in what time they were, but surely it wasn't Dust's time anymore as these strange buildings were nowhere to be seen. Cross shook his head, Dust couldn't go back to work for now.
- What do you mean no ? I need the money.
Cross thought for a while, trying to remember the translation for money, and shook his head again.
- Nos sommes denz une altre époque, pas de "work".
He tried to explain, telling him they were in a different time. Dust frowned at him, before sighing.
- Well it's gonna be one fucking long bathroom break then... He mumbled, before following Horror again.
Cross held out a hand for Nightmare but the noble got up by himself, and simply followed the others from a distance, Cross walking behind to make sure no one deviated from the line and no threat appeared.
After only a few minutes they heard running water, and at the next turn around a tree, they saw a small river. Nightmare went to kneel on the shore and put his hands in the water. Killer went next to him, crounching down, and ignoring Nightmare's glare to rummage through his bag and take out a piece of cloth that he handed him. Nightmare looked at it for a while before taking it without saying a word, still bitter that they laughed, and put it in the water to clean his face. Dust stayed near Horror, looking at the trees.
Cross stood back, watching them all, making sure everything was safe for them to stop here.
He really hoped they could find a shelter soon.
#original post#time travelers au#tt au#dust sans#horror sans#cross sans#killer sans#nightmare sans#tt dust#tt nightmare#tt cross#tt killer#tt horror#bad sans#bad sans poly#bad sanses#dusttale#horrortale#xtale#something new au#dreamtale#dust!sans#killer!sans#cross!sans#horror!sans#nightmare!sans#murder time trio#mtt poly#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang
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feeling
#plant rant#scaaaaaared#in my final year of uni. so do i do a masters? what in? what do i want to do with my life? do i even want to do a masters?#could i live on my own even further away from home? am i going to learn how to drive?#am i actually good at any of the things i enjoy? am i going to be permanently handicapped in my adult life by my inability to network?#will i ever make more friends? will i ever like more foods? will i ever fall in love for real?#SCARED.#it's probably going to be fine. but i am. scared.
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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stressed
I have to fight family again
#everybody hates meeeee#tomorrow is going to be so fucked#aunt literally said i tried to kill her???????? bro idk what to do with a person like that#im really really stressed#like it never got to physical violence or anything but im always scared it will cause it's just#getting more and more heated and i know she literally hates me right now#like usually she does the whole spiel about loving me sooo much but now she's convinced that#I'm against her#well i am#fuck that bitch#but well she's acting like a freaking cartoon villain#oh wel#well#but goddamn im really stressed rn#ok whatever i just needed to vent it's probably going to be fine#but like#i do feel like I'm planning a grand escape rn#and it SUCKS ASS#i really want to cut that woman out of my life or actually out of all of our lives cause she's just#traumatizing one person after the other#god i cant wait to be away from her so i can freaking relaxxx ToT#i can't believe i let myself fall for her tricks every single time and just believe shes good now AURGG#ok ok i just needed to vent this is so unreal for me rn I've been so stressed for days this is so frantic#whatever goodbye lmaooooooo#vent
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#my Florida shirt just got taken down from Etsy for no fucking reason#Taylor's team just CHUCKED the book at me and fucking LIED in their report to Etsy about it#said I infringed on their trademarks for Lover 1989 and Reputation in their report#and I used.... NONE OF THOSE THINGS. NOT ONE.#that shirt has (obviously) nothing to do with any of those albums even#not in the metadata not in the tags not in the SEO nothing#and since it had no tags of those things it didn't pop up in a sweep and get auto-taken down. it was targeted by them & they manually did i#that design is SO by the book legally and bc of how successful it is I've worked VERY hard to make it that way. even in the SEO#and I mean everything in my shop I go out of my way to make legal but#like that is probably the most actually black and white legal piece of fan merch I've ever seen in my fucking life#but I can't fight back because if I fight back.. if they want it down the next option is prove to Etsy that they're SUING ME#so like. yeah not trying to fuck around and find out there#and that is awful for multiple reasons.#1. I have lost like 90% of my income for the rest of the year. I've grown to rely on income from that shirt as I should bc IT'S FINE#2. it's about to be the holidays. this makes 1 worse and also - people will be searching for this shirt bc it's on ppls holiday wishlists#they now won't be able to find mine#and will therefore google it and buy one of the MILLION FUCKING STOLEN VERSIONS WHICH ARE STILL UP BY THE WAY#and 3. I can't even have these stolen versions taken down anymore because I don't have a leg to stand on since the real thing now doesn't-#exist to prove it's mine#I want to fucking throw up like idk how to do anything other than be sobbing in a fucking ball on the floor#like this is probably the 2nd worst thing that has happened to me in my life lmao#like this shirt was single-handedly paying my rent every month and I had other income but. that shirt was my cushioning#my whole Etsy shop is FUCKED without it like absolutely fucked it was carrying the whole entire thing#I'm scared to upload or DO anything else w my Etsy even because if they just made up lies to get that shirt down#then I am SURE they've got something against me or my shop#and like fucking WHY I work so hard to make everything FAIR AND RIGHT#I worked so fucking hard on that shirt that thing was like my child like my actual full pride and joy#I want to scream I don't even know what to do with myself#it feels like someone just shoved me into a room shut the lights off locked the door and threw away the key#that shirt has been like probably the proudest achievement of my life like no joke and everything I've put into it & my Etsy just got kille
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oh well time 2 brush my teeth and every inch of my mouth with soap and toothpaste n shampoo until i am finally clean
#until im human#i go out and im fine#and then all of a sudden it all hits#everyone who saw me#how they looked at me#how they probably remember as the most disgusting thing theyve ever seen#how i ate#how my stomach is dirty#and my body is dirty#and everything is dirty all i am is dirty#how ill ever be right#ill never match up to anyone#everyone else has lived so much and i am nothing#i dont know what im doing#im terrified#everything scares me even the good things hurt#i just want to be like everyone else
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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We are all afraid of something...
I wonder what Prince Gumball's biggest fear would be?
There's an episode (Five short tables I think) where it shows that he's afraid of dying alone/his own mortality to some extent. I imagine that because he's long-lived and most likely has watched many people die before him, he's scared that there won't be anyone else by *his* side when it's his turn. There's no way of knowing when or how, he wouldn't be ready for it, so that's probably double scarier for him. He's an anxious fella
#tag rambling MMMMM MY FAVORITE#this made me think if Gumball is actually just long-lived or if he'd become something like the Mother Gum after enough centuries have passed#triple scary then because other than Neddy(Nelly?) he's the only gum humanoid in Ooo that we're aware of#so what if the deal with the Mother Gum is like... She releases this tiny gum things (or they're released by themselves) into the wild#and good luck baby you better survive if you want our species to continue existing 😄#He and Nelly survived but what if he dies before reaching a Mother Gum-state. and alone on top of that bc that must be a scary process#And if he dies then that means Nelly is alone. and probably would go through that alone too#I think he's also scared of not having anyone to take care of everything he left behind if he dies#and to reassure his people and loved ones that everything will be fine despite his absence#now I'm thinking about the way i portray him because I make it sound like he's “unworried” about his own life & wellbeing#he gets stabbed and he's just like “it's okay don't worry about it” BUT what if he does worry and like..#he knows it won't kill him so he doesn't panic but he might panic if he realizes that he got stabbed a little too close to a vital spot#but at the same time he won't if there's someone else with him because if he panics they'll panic and everyone panics#and he needs to be the bigger person at all times and and#does this make sense or am i just yapping#anyway I love you Gumball i just threw my English out the window to talk about your issues with death 🫶#fionna and cake#prince gumball
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one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
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Alphinaud and Alisaie is speedrunning breaking through every single layer ch'ari has, and the poor cat just wanna suffocate them in Every Fashion Possible
FASCINATING: weird feral cat starting to have feelings because some kids had one (1) feeling in his proximity
#critical success. yes they’re going to get pushed down a hill. yes they’re getting hugged. no they didn’t ask to have that happen#none of them did#ch’ari fully forgot thancred’s name for months. ch’ari was frustrated by minfillia. ch’ari was only charmed by yda because she’s goofy#ch’ari didn’t care until he accidentally saw alphinaud get… worried… about something???#and instead of just appreciating his company as a blunt object looked relieved he was okay?#⚠️ ch’ari will remember this infinitesimal kindness.#he was friends with tataru first and then it all went downhill from there#ask#anon#ffxiv#What was up with that quest where tataru got super worried alphinaud was hurt and then he was fine and it worried me half to death.#for nothing. Ari spent the next few quests surreptitiously sniffing at him to see if he could smell blood or spellwork#dumb kid. he was probably like ?????? stop— please. um#but like. I think the tipping point for him was seeing a scared kid fr#having not encountered it except at a distance he was like OH. I KNOW THAT FEELING. I AM GOING TO STOP THAT FROM OCCURRING. NOW.
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Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency
#ramblings#it's probably all three tbh#it's not severe. like i can live with this. it's fine#but also i generally wish i had a flatter chest#every time i imagine myself in my head i see myself with a flatter chest#but like do i wanna go through the trouble of getting rid of them entirely#or should i just try getting a binder or something#or should i just. leave things as they are#idfk#i don't think top surgery would be an option bc money and. i'm scared of surgery honestly#and the recovery looks painful as shit#and like what if i regret it? what if i was wrong and that wasn't the best option for me?#i think i should just try to get a binder or something. just see how that works for me#and contemplate surgery when i'm older and can support myself and am more sure of whether that's right for me or not#also i'm. hesitant to call it anything bc again it's not really that severe#it's like. a thought that occassionally crosses my mind. at least once a day.. and doesn't leave for a while....#hm yeah no maybe it's not as mild as i thought it was actually. wonderful realization to come to in the middle of writing a post#anyways. idk if anyone has any binder recs or anything i'll take 'em#also maybe tips on how to approach my mom abt this?? idk if feels like something i should talk abt with her but idk how to even bring it up
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all fun and games being a college student until youre lookin at recipes like 'i dont have a knife that isnt a butter knife. i only have one pot and no pan. making me buy two different types of oil seems like a scam. can i freeze homemade wedges if i make them'
#and my roommates have all those things and would probably be fine to lend me them#but also i do not talk to them a lot. and i am scared#and ofc worst part of being a college student is ive been putting off my work so i wont have time until like next week to go and get shit..#wait actually my mam is picking me up tomorrow. im sure she'd drive me to home store and more. this is a win#still does not solve my Burning Urge to make my own wedges but sigh ill work w it#edit actually the WORST part of being a college student is i made the idiot move of choosing one of the tall presses#not taking into account that im too short to take advantage of all the storage space....#i think theres one of the short presses still empty i could claim#but i dont wanna have to bend all the time to get my shit.... meguca is suffeirng
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the problem with not having any new fics to read bc they havent been posted yet is that when Invisible Tigers Are Hunting You, there is no distraction
#this Baseless Fear that sometimes strikes me#reminding me of my mortality and making believe it is deeply immediate despite how illogical it is#Is Getting Real Fuckin Old!#i gotta grip onto the reminder that i am Only Twenty. i have my whole life ahead of me probably.#there is Time. things will get better. someday i will Accomplish Things.#i will turn around and wish i could visit past (current) me and say It Does Get Better And You Will Not Only Exist But Live. I Love You.#but for tonight i feel very small and scared#and i am using the company of videos and stories to soothe the Invisible Tigers#i think i will.... reread some fics.... perhaps...#i havent reread stamps yet.... ill go do that#get my laughingstock crumbs#ill put on birdsong in the bg#im borrowing my friends lovely headphones. i Need some of my own. earbuds just dont do it anymore#especially since theyre noise canceling. Yummy#theyre helping immensely i think#absolutely unprompted#sorry for once again Venting on Main#i am very tired and have no other outlet <3#its 4 am. i have to get up in 7 hours. i am still too terrified to sleep#but its okay its Fine this night will Pass#thats half the fear but all the same. there are Good Things in my future. i have hope theyre there. theyre waiting for me.#ill figure it out Ill Figure It Out.#we all will!#we'll all get there. someday before the end.
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