#it's only funny if it's ugly!!!!
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no you know what we're leaving in 2024, acting all scandalised by any and every purchase dan and phil make over £50. they're rich, we know, get over it, it's old
#actually just like the most annoying form of post#it's only funny if it's ugly!!!!#like yeah if it's the ugliest pair of shoes ever for £1500 thats fair#but otherwise WHOOOOO gives a fuck#get back to me when they start making £100k purchases
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if i speak-
#my recordings#warframe 1999 spoilers#arthur nightingale#HIS GAY LITTLE STRETCH#liger knew what was up when they drew his concept art with the ember idle...#im going to call him a slur (lovingly)#entranced by his movements...#i need him so bad its not even funny#yeah this is my fashion for him i like his default looks#only took off the new stark black bc it was ugly#back to his old color palette
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I woke up in a sweat and drew this because my little brain thought it was funny
#shitpost#art#my art#illustration#doodle#one peice#op nami#op sanji#vinsmoke sanji#black leg sanji#sanji#one piece sanji#cat burglar nami#Nami#one piece nami#okama#lesbian#I’m a Nami lesbian truther and I just thought this was funny#this would be the only way she’d ever feel a smidgen of attraction towards him#also I need justice for then ugly hair and makeup they gave him#they did him so dirty
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There's a lot of validity in the idea that older Bakugo is a traumatized pro-hero with major PTSD... but you know what's kinda fucked up to think about? The fact that Bakugo is also a 22-year-old pro-hero with major PTSD even before that, too.
It's almost easy to imagine that things are actually better when he's older (the therapy finally a routine, the trauma long set and on the path to being healed)... and that it's his whole 20s that are spent as a pool of disaster trying to recover from the war(s).
He looks back and barely even remembers being twenty, much less twenty-five or twenty-seven. Barely remembers how little he slept, not at the hands of trying to balance hero work and getting a degree at the same time, but just out of the pure insomnia that came from trying to move on and every nightmare attached.
Hardly ever showering, never shaving (not that he ever grew much of a beard, but the facial hair was definitely there. There's pictures of him on the news with an awkward, grown out haircut and patches on facial hair that make him look positively... immature), barely even eating more than a few protein bars or an energy jelly drink-a day. It's a blur, and his friends are hardly there to pick him up out of it because they're all going through it, too. Somewhat.
It's definitely weird if you meet him during this period. He's not all there, at least, not all of the time. He doesn't really register your interactions, the friendship you extend to him (a younger, or ever older, version of him would've shown you that deep seeded ferocity in response, tried to bite the hand that fed him, even if it were love... but 20s Bakugo... doesn't seem to notice). Even though only one of his eyes is clouded over, the good one never seems to brighten up.
There's definitely moments when the old him shines through: when he's with Deku, when he's in the midst of battle, when he finds out that Todoroki still does a shitty job at chopping scallions. But it's a long time before he's even close to the same, able to step out from underneath the fog of simply surviving and into the sunshine of recovering.
But I think sticking through it with him is worth it.
(It's a weird moment, a happy moment, the first time you realize that Bakugo has changed. That the pouring rain outside hasn't bothered him since he showed up at your apartment. He forgot his umbrella, he's been quite careless ever since the war—wet and shaggy hair frizzed up, cheeks red from cold—but he doesn't seem to mind, with his bare feet up on your coffee table, his eyes gazing out the window. You hand his tea, and instead of gulping it down in one go, letting it burn in his throat, he winces at the heat.
"Tastes like shit," he says, and you laugh because it always does. Just this time, he noticed.)
#bakugou x reader#bakugo#this is what crocheting a baby hat does to u#no im jk i was just thinking abt bakugo being like 22 and awkward as h*ck bc he still hasnt recovered from the war#i wanna talk abt what he's like more but this is what came out instead LOL#like i think he's really stubborn abt ... coping with after effects of dying#and then before he knows it he has major depression LMFAOO#and he can like go to work get his degree do all he needs to do as a 20-something year guy#but he's not like. *there*. you know#and you meet him and he's a binch but he's not hard to get along with#and u just sorta take him in and drag him places like idk#your school's halloween night.. or even just a night out with ur friend (he doesn't even know how to order a drink)#and he doesnt even process it all until one day he's like 'dang it feels like ive been asleep for years'#and he kinda was#but he knows youre the one who helped him and now he wants to fix himself for you bc he remembers u being there for him#but he's so funny im imagining him with like. frat boy facial hair and a really outgrown ugly mullet type haircut#and lowkey with like. greasy skin (ik he's perfect but he's in a bad state and it shows) and he eats instant noodles ever day#and only watches japanese top gear#and goes on patrols where he beats the crap outta ppl and then doesnt remember it#DREAM BOY#and then he's big hero later#anyway#caitie post#gen
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i love that the murder time trio all have dangerous little greetings. horror has his little hand drill thing. killer puts a knife up his sleeve and then does a little switcharoo. dust INSTINCTIVELY shoots whoever he sees with a bone. no greeting whatsoever. so just imagine how things go on a first meeting or whatever. immediately horror and killer have to dodge bones from dust and horror's like hey wtf man. mildly irritated but he just met these guys so he's willing to forgive. he's not gonna lose his cool in front of these two random ass guys even though one just tried to kill him. killer just has that dumbass smile on his face like always (but he was intrigued when dust did that. like who tries to kill someone on first sight?? he's curious now :3)
and then theyre all just standing together and staring for a moment and horror sticks out his hand. killer takes the bait but then he just points a knife to horror's stolen eye once he realizes that he got duped and his other hand is now currently being drilled into. dust didn't shake either of their hands because he could see the drill and tell that killer had something off about him in general. but he does give a tiny smile when he sees the state that the two r in rn with the drill and knife. it's an eensy bit funny in his eyes
least violent mtt interaction
#overall?? first good impression on all their parts#except horror because he doesn't like to get threatened or risk dying#but he gets over it (he never does)#i'm at that stage of mtt fan where i cant afford to ignore phantom paps anymore and leave him out from the hc#immediately once dust saw the other two paps commented on how ugly they were#dust must have the strength of fucking Hercules or something because like#phantom papyrus probably drops some of the most hilarious bangers that only he can hear and he just CANNOT laugh or else he'll look dumb#i wouldnt last a day in dusts shoes if phantom paps said shit like that. i'd die of holding back laughter#how many off hand comments does paps make he just has to let out his laughs in private#violence is sooooo funny to them they wish they could throw the other 2 into a volcano#triglycercule will you ever run out of mtt ideas??? i dunno......#as long as im alive i can find a way to make my life about the mtt#this post was written august 22 still a peak idea tho LMAO#the phantom papyrus making outrageous comments thingy is funny enough to be its own post HOLD ON LMAO#listen this didnt happen in my mtt fic LITERALLY about them meeting but it did in another universe TRUST TRUST TRUST#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#i'm so eepy....... i need to stay awake................#still have 70 soon to be 71 drafts left in my loaded gun we WILL survive through the winter if i eat one draft every day
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BUTCHER VANITY (messy ass time-lapse edition)
#butcher vanity#yi xi#only posting this again because i find my process to be ugly in this one so its funny. to me#synthv#synthesizer v
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#gross. gross! i do not like this thing. two alternate angles under the cut for those of you who like this thing because i am about to tear#into it so hard. ahem#enamorus#this thing is ugly as fuck. all of the genies were already ugly as fuck and now this thing only makes that worse. all of their therian form#were like MILDLY better but this one takes that trend and just throws it out the window#like the anteater nose is FUNNY especially on a legendary but LORD DON'T MAKE ME LOOK AT IT#not to mention its boss fight taking place in the fucking SWAMP with all the SLOWY WATER#and it just ZOOMS AROUND AND TELEPORTS if i remember correctly#like the LAST fuckin pokémon in the pokédex you can catch and it looks like THIS??? why did we need another genie. what#i understand the trend in gen 8 where they kept adding new legendaries to already established like. groups. like regieleki and regidrago#but THIS group is one that DID NOT NEED ONE#like i can see the additions to the regis!!! they're cool additions and really modernize the trio into a quintet!! but this is just RIDICUL#sorry tumblr cut me off there. this is just RIDICULOUS#ooouuhhhuhuhuh all the other genies are buff men with beards but this one's a laaaady bc it's pink!! and fairy-type!!! and small!! a#NO!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T NEED IT!!!!!! PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME!!!!#it's literally like. the last pokémon in gen 9. i'm gonna have to start worrying about gen 9 models RIGHT after this#teechnically. i'm actually queuing this thing up before i'm done with all the hisuian forms so i have a bit of time#but it'll Look like it comes last in the queue right before gen 9#here's praying i have something figured out by then? but i doubt it because i've just started a new job#and that's probably gonna be taking a lot of my time until then
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would you all publicly execute me if I said the dteam house/dransion is an affront to architecture and interior design?
#i love them but i hate that fucking house#its so ugly and why is the inside a white marble void#and dont get me started on the atrocities of the sink and the pillars in dreams bathroom or whatever#men really dont know how to live#ramblings#only i find this funny#dtblr
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I feel like in every picture of puggles people hold them like this
#welkles fankiddos#Ignore how ugly this is I just thought it'd be funny#That's Beryl btw#She is only one day old and ANGRY about it
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2nd post of the day.... 😎😎
Hahhs. can you tell. can youvtell what my latest obsession is. theres more but theyre Ugly. so are these but.they can be tolerable..... (oldest to. Newest i think? idk.you can see the visible art style change)
dont ask how in coping with the latets ii episode (my reactin when watching the episodr btw. theres more but i cant add more than 10 photos💔)
#osc art#osc community#osc#bfdi#bfdi gijinka#ii#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity gijinka#gijinka#hfjone moldy#i love moldy. is it bad that i can relate to her.? i dont Act like that but erm. majority of ny brain does💔#i rlly wanna do worse on moldys disease. butmy art kinda sucks... so i dont#something funny i remembered is that uh. hfjcheesy once said that people dont hold back on moldys erm.disease#he called it disgusting human disease and i giggled at that.#ok tine to stop rambling this is so stupid brah.... i only talk abt bfdi with certajn friends#this kne friend in particular hates ahen i yap abt it.💔#bfdi leafy#two tpot#tpot gaty#bfdi gaty#test tube ii#test tube inanimate insanity#ii lightbulb#inanimate insanity lightbulb#match bfdi#pencil bfdi#i love them theyre canon in my heart Trust❤ just ignore the latest episodrs they dont do then justice :(#x bfdi#x bfb#hes so ugly in this art dawg. ive drawn more of him but its digital and ugly
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#jay rambles.txt#for fucks sake. you can't claim to be anti-ai and then turn around and feed the fucking machine#you have three seconds to answer this question: how'd you think the companies train your favourite c-ai?#(answer: it's fanfiction scrapping)#just stop. it's not even funny. if you only dislike ai because it makes ugly art or whatever and not because it's unethical just say so#anti ai#no ai art
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Sometimes the way people talk about missing social cues is so over the top 😭 people will really say stuff like "how can someone live such a soulless joyless existence that they don't understand my joke" and "if you don't laugh at this are you even human" and "I can't imagine being such a miserable asshole that you think this is serious" and "how stupid do you have to be to fall for this 💀" and on and on like. I promise autism isn't a moral failing
#godsrambles#actuallyautistic#i see posts that say things like this almost word for word all the time on here#and on the one hand. i too think its funny when someone doesnt realize theyre being pranked#but sometimes people go from 'lol gottem' to 'lol only a bad person would fall for this'. somehow#and yeah it also happens in relation to pranking people who are genuinely shitty for legitimate reasons#but its like with calling shitty people ugly yknow? theyre not missing social cues Because theyre awful. theyre not ugly Because theyre mean#and yeah sometimes being gullible isnt related to being autistic. can also just be lack of knowledge in various areas#but that doesnt mean it isnt at the very least annoying to see these traits be linked to being a Bad Person lol#probably plays a small part in people being like 'lol ford is so full of himself for trusting bill' like.#how is being gullible and susceptible to manipulation the same as being conceited
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once i actually get my ass through what i have rn of the gw2 story i WILL be drawing my ocs. its going to be so over for all of you
#im probably the only bitch on tumblr who plays just a human guy. but listen. i love his funny elementalist ass#hes just setting people on fire and getting roped into fighting dragons. and saving the world#he needs to stop having the most gharishly ugly purple outfits ever but i am a noob and i have nothing#i just got the expansions from my friend yesterday TwT
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Today I realized that I will probably never be able to marry Phillip Graves so I will have to marry some mid ass dude
#😭😭😭#I am NOT gonna be the pretty wife of an ugly man#i’m literally crying#that’s not even funny#the struggle is real#I kinda genuinely think he’s the only attractive man ever#sry#idk#lol#phillip graves#cod#call of duty#cod graves#philip graves#😭#girl problems#I’m just a girl
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we all know that Goku and Vegeta's foil in terms of their divine transformations is literally just Freud's Id vs Ego, right
Like how id is raw instinct with no particular pattern and ego is the conscious command over one's instincts
like how Goku's body moves on its own without any conscious input, and Vegeta still has complete and distinctly conscious autonomy while flooded with immense power he has no experience controlling
like we must have talked about this, right? as a family?
#those chapters are several years old I assume this has been brought up#like instinct and ego definitely have their other fun meanings that apply too but like the core of it is -- I assume -- a direct reference?#I stand by my original breakdown about ego being a scary ugly thing in terms of common definition but also geets claiming to be tapping tha#instinctive destructive patterns but can't revert to it and instead spends the whole fight trying to talk down a man trying to kill him#that is also very definitively Freud's Ego. Command over instinct. The horseback rider in control of the horse etc#Which -- again -- makes it a FANTASTIC contrast to Majin Geets which was a panicked instinctive choice that sacrificed his autonomy#Majin Geets was the horse up until he overpowered Bobidi [insert old joke about horses only have two settings: murder and suic!de]#And ego despite his outward ferality and ferocity is actually calmly and confidently in absolute control of himself and his desires#the illustrated difference between arrogance and confidence which makes the characters calling it a weird ego boost both funny and ironic#media analysis#dbtag
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Surveillance duty au :D
Y'all voted for it and here it is✨
The first twst horror au I ever did~
And it's Florid flavour too! :D
Naturally, this is the starter of a funny headcanon I had around, who made a cameo in a few works of mine too. So keep in mind that this is a very old au. Maybe you'll find sum Easter eggs to one of my latest ones. :3
Anyhow! A few trigger warnings right off the batch and then we can properly start this bandwagon. :v
We have trigger warnings for: Blood, gore and body horror!
This is a horror au after all... So ya know... Gotta keep the flair✨
Now onto the explanation!
In here, our lovely Riddle is a logics and psychology teacher at Night Raven Highschool (NRH for short). The reason he's a teacher is because of his love of learning and helping others learn. His mother was against the idea, which ended up with her disowning him. Therefore Riddle changed his name from Weinachts to Rosehearts, a way to cut ties completely with his mom.
And that would've been it, if that woman didn't insist to keep reminding him how much of a failure he became: a poor paying job, living alone and with little to no respect from other people. Well... 2 out of the 3 were wrong at least. Riddle did have a decent salary and he was very respected amongst other people.
But, at the start of a new school year, Riddle finally is a homeroom teacher. He has a class to be in charge of! He was looking forward to it... Until the actual class proved to be menaces.
One day, pretty early into the year, the Nightshift guard of the school called in for some family business. Therefore that night he couldn't cover. And Crowley assigns Riddle to take the said place instead. Trey, a volunteer teacher, also offers to go along Riddle and help him out.
It's also important to describe the security room layout for now: a small room, with a desk on which a monitor and a weird keyboard with very specific buttons are. On the side there is a couch and at one of it's ends, a mini-refrigerator is put. It's small, with tile floor and plain walls.
And the whole shift starts. Trey is the one who goes first on the surveillance duty. The old man instructed them how to use the set-up: see an anomaly and report it using the buttons for place and type. He also gave them a warning: when the screen flashes a message, avoid the camera on the said place and use the report button for 'special case'. Also do NOT ever get out during the shift. That door has to stay locked at all costs during the night. :v
Naturally, Riddle thought all of those was bullshit. He did find Trey's small paranoia to be a response caused by the lack of sleep, so he offers at one point to switch, so he could grade the tests at the desk and Trey could get some rest. The latter does admit that he's a bit shaken up, but he also blames it on a lack of sleep.
The problem is that Riddle was only focusing on the grading tests. Sometimes he switches in between cameras, in case he catches some vandal trying to sneak in or something like that.
That's why, when the special warning arrives for the gym camera, Riddle didn't even pay attention and accidentally switched to it, which resulted in a long static.
And an inhumane, scaly hand, with long claws, sticking out of it and grabbing Riddle's arm. Naturally, out of the spook, the redhead jerked his hand, thus getting it scratched and all bloody. In all of that panic, Riddle falls off the chair, waking up Trey and starting a chain reaction of panicking :'3
So Trey first barricades the door with the couch, before he tries to tend to Riddle's bleeding arm and figure out what the hell was going on. Something was coming and banging on the door, trying to force their way inside.
And they do manage, much to the horror of the 2 men. Riddle already was too sleep deprived and in pain to process things. All he knows is that Trey was knocked down on the floor and that the thing grabbed him before he passed out.
When they do wake up, it's morning and everything was just like new. The only signs that something did happen was the bruises Riddle and Trey had from falling on the hard floor. No more arm wound and the security room was impeccably clean too.
So the 2 tried to reason that maybe all this lack of sleep and relying only on coffee did mess a bit with their head last night.
But the first night the guard returned, in the morning the poor man was found horrified and quit from the job, while on a hall wall, a message was smudged in red paint, saying 'see you next lesson :)'. Of course, the whole student body was rustling with rumors and scary stories about 'the prom ghost', a legend among the school about a, presumably, dead kid attending a prom of the school, despite never being a student or having any records whatsoever. They started to go nuts about it and swarm the library to ask for the yearbook albums from previous years.
Riddle was trying to have a quiet and nice homeroom when his students asked him if he used to be a student here. Naturally, the latter was seeing this as innocent curiosity and maybe he thought he could set a nice example for them, by sharing some of his own high-school experience, but nope... These lil shits wanted to know if Riddle's prom was the one where the school myth came to be.
Unfortunately it was right, but Riddle tried to reassure that it was just some vandal that sneaked in for a party and nothing more.
Riddle was more than tired about this. Give him a break, man. U-Ub
So, seeing that the redhead was once offered for the Nightshift duty, Crowley assigns Riddle again! Yay! :D
And being done with that 'creepy message', Riddle was more than determined to stay up all night and catch the vandal.
How? The forbidden brew, ofc: 7 different energy drinks, pure coffee and that ice-ice baby. How he's not dead is a mystery to many. :'3
So Riddle does the job his own way. He finds a very simple explanation for anything and anything one would consider 'unnatural'. Weird noises? Some windows are shabby and outside is raining. Objects in weird spots? Students didn't place them back. Things falling off? Either someone put them wrong or Crowley needs to invest in better shelves. He walks across the halls with literally no bother just to go get his papers or something, then returns to the security room and minds his business peacefully.
And this ignorant bliss is what has Riddle face to face with the actual creature in front of him, pretty annoyed that Riddle brushed him off so easily.
Riddle's absolutely not having it. He tells the guy that he should 'drop the weird costume and get a real job' other than terrorise the night guards, before he calls the cops for breaking and entering. Like... He's fully convinced that this was just some random bored guy who decided to dress up as a monster and scare the living shit out of people at unholy hours.
And while half of it was true, the latter is not having it. He does inquire if Riddle remembers him. Of course the redhead remembered him. He was his partner to prom, after Riddle's highschool crush humiliated him in there. Of course he would remember that traumatising night. He wished he didn't, but that's how it is. The next year it would be that sweet 10 year reunion after all. Riddle was dreading it a bit, but alas, he finally addresses to the creature by its name: Floyd.
And Floyd is happy his 'goldfishie' remembers him, but is disappointed that the latter doesn't believe in magic and supranatural forces.
He does tell Riddle that he's special. He has magic of his own lingering inside, but it's all shoved in tight and hard to reach. Riddle does call it bullshit, but Floyd insists that last night, he saw it in his blood.
This, naturally has Riddle ghosting his arm where the scratch was supposed to be. He still refused to believe that happened. Not when the real evidence say otherwise, but Floyd does tell that he didn't intend on harming him so when Riddle yanked his hand in fear, he couldn't release his claws in time and thus the nasty wound.
Now a bit curious about where this whole bandwagon is going, Riddle does inquire to ask what's so special about his blood. The answer was simple: it reacts to magic. Normal blood doesn't react to magic, but Riddle's changed color and even evaporated when Floyd tried to heal his wound back up.
So the nasty bruise on the arm is actually stains from the said blood and Floyd doesn't know if it washes off or not.
Riddle does have a field trip that night, as Floyd is demonstrating spells he could do and casually talking about his kind and all that. The latter was welcomed in the security room, with 1 condition: don't tamper with anything. Naturally, the said creature didn't want to have no gain out of it, so for as long as Crowley has Riddle on Nightshift, the latter will have to welcome him in here and hang around. Floyd only seized the couch and there he sat all night, bothering Riddle and eventually getting the redhead to sleep.
One thing that Floyd mentioned off-hand was that, since Riddle had contact with magic now, most likely his own magic will start to creak out. That thing stuck with the redhead even the next day. And it was the perfect explanation for all the little odd things that happened that day: lights flickering when he got really annoyed, pens or papers slightly moving towards his hand when he wanted to grab one and even doors closing behind him without Riddle necessarily moving them.
At the Nightshift duty, Floyd seems very eager to see the latter's magic in action. Riddle does ask if he didn't pay attention during the day, but Floyd admits that, during the day, he sleeps.
Still, Riddle was fascinated by the said magic. By how it was so logic-breaking yet felt so natural. Of course, since Floyd was the reason behind the anomalies, the cameras were checked once in a while to see if vandals would try to sneak in the school. Other than that, Riddle went to sleep pretty early and left the rest to Floyd for handling.
And with a bit of time, the redhead was getting used to this new routine. He even brought in a blanket and a few pillows from home to make the couch more comfy, or some snacks to put in the refrigerator for both him and Floyd to eat. Riddle also learned how to control that little bit of magic that he had, so sometime he would use it to skip over some mundane things.
Riddle also couldn't help but ask Floyd what he's going to do when a new guard does get appointed. Floyd tho, happily responds that he already took care of it and that Riddle shouldn't 'beat his pretty head' with it too much. Just focus on your job and things will go smoothly.
In a few days, Crowley calls up Riddle to discuss about the Nightshift and how he managed to hire a new guard. So he asks Riddle to show him how the gist works at first.
Guess who the guard is?
That's right, Floyd is our Nightshift guard. Riddle is baffled at this, asking how the hell did Floyd even get hired, not to mention how he didn't get reported for bearing no actual legal identity!
The answer is simple: 1. Floyd does have legal documents (forged, ofc) about his existence. 2. Crowley accepted him, because on his 'CV' it was written: willing to work for any price.
Crowley's paying him 10 bucks an hour :'3
Riddle is very concerned about the payment, but Floyd reassures that he already lives in here. And his 'living expenses' are also paid by Crow man. :v
Besides, unlike normal humans, creatures of the night such as Floyd, have a whole other system of living. Once he gets himself free, he's simply going to return to his kind and live there.
Surprisingly, Riddle seems a bit bummed out by the news that, eventually, Floyd would break the seal and leave. The latter tho, offers for Riddle to come with him. He had magic and his blood indicated that there was something more inside him. There's no reason not to run away together. They could go and find a little safe colony far away to live peacefully together. Riddle shuts down the idea, saying that, unfortunately, he can't leave. He loves his job, his quiet life and he doesn't want to abandon his life long friends. Floyd may be bound to not leave this place because of a magic seal, but Riddle's bound to not leave this place because of his bonds and responsibilities.
Still, the 2 share a small kiss that night. Kind of a small milestone in their pretty odd relationship.
And things start to go well! Floyd puts a little effort to stay awake in the morning, to exchange a few sweet eyes with Riddle, while the latter would sometimes stay a bit over the program or leave for Floyd small treats to have on his job. Little things that make them both very happy and fuzzy inside.
Naturally, the students saw that and started to rumor in between them that the ice-cold heart of the tyrant teacher was melted by the intimidating guard.
But, all things nice must end at one point. U-U9
The staff did receive a notice of a maintenance visit from an authorised service upon the school systems. And Floyd was absolutely horrified about it. Riddle was sure he never saw the latter so panicked about something. So he does decide to stay over with him a bit, to calm down his nerves.
Floyd tho, hesitantly gets down from his neck a pendant. Riddle knew about the pendant being important for the latter, but he never got an answer as to why. And neither now is he getting one, since Floyd put it over the redhead's neck and told him to return it only after the inspection is clear. And if Riddle hears any suspicious voice, to please ignore it since the pendant might try to play with him.
Riddle was absolutely ready to call the latter nuts, but he knew better than to question magic things. So he promised the latter that he will keep the pendant safe before Floyd tucked him to sleep.
The next day, naturally Riddle was a bit on edge, but things went surprisingly quiet. At home tho, is when the latter started to feel like something was watching him. He tried to brush it off, but it kept pestering him.
Until he looked in his mirror, where his reflection was replaced with a silhouette made out of shadows. The said being was happy they finally got noticed, claiming that they were a manifestation of Riddle's powers, the last one of them.
Riddle was trying to ignore it, just as Floyd told him to, but the said little silhouette was a tease cranked up to 100. They did tell Riddle that first he manifested a bit of power and now, that he had the crown of the abyss, he could get out to light the rest. Naturally, the latter brushed it off, saying that it's saying blasphemy, but to prove the point, the shadow shows to Riddle how the pendant could turn into a pretty crown, then back into that small stone. They do tease that Floyd certainly hid that one from him, that he didn't tell Riddle, hoping to keep all that power to himself.
Of course, the latter denies it again. If Floyd had that much power at his disposal, he would've been free from the seal by now. The shadow goes to say that things aren't that easy with seals and that the second Floyd does get free, he'll dispose of Riddle in an instant. The pendant would be Riddle's only line of defense if he refuses to give it away as he promised.
The shadow did hit some pretty low points. Points which made Riddle to try and ignore it alongside Floyd. Both were 2 different sides and Riddle didn't know which one to pick. He was an adult, goddamnit! Yet here he was, feeling like a clueless child. He hated it, so he found out the best way was to tune it all out.
This doesn't fly by Floyd. With the inspection over, he knew Riddle had to keep his promise to him and return the pendant. So he insists for the latter to stay over the program and give it back. By that point, Riddle himself realised that if he gives the pendant back to Floyd, then that annoying shadow would stop bothering him, so he was more than eager to get rid of it from his neck.
But before he passes back the pendant, Riddle does have to ask one thing: why didn't Floyd tell him that it was a crown all along? That question makes Floyd to immediately switch his mood, now demanding that he gets back the pendant. It's not some silly game anymore and he is very much not playing anything. Riddle will get his answers after the pendant is back at Floyd.
That's when our lil shitty shadow comes into action, taking the pendant before Floyd could. The latter is genuinely scared of seeing the said silhouette and at this point Riddle knows that he shouldn't have even given the shadow a benefit of the doubt. But it was too late as the said 3rd thing declared. As Riddle's 2nd magic manifestations, it is its right to want the redhead more powerful than ever. And Floyd was their obstacle, denying Riddle of his right at power.
And that's when the shadow tries to shove the pendant gem down Riddle's throat. Seeing that, Floyd tries to also fight the silhouette, but it was too strong. It had enough time to draw from Riddle's magic by instigating doubt in the redhead and thus prolonging the time the pendant was with him.
In the end, Riddle does swallow the gem and the shadow happily disappears.
Both adults are scared, but Floyd was downright horrified, saying that he doesn't know when it will kick in or if Riddle would even survive it. This also scares Riddle since 'wdym IF I survive it?!'. He just swallowed a fucking stone that used to be a crown?! And Floyd isn't making things any better by also telling him that 'hey, you might blow up from the inside around now!'.
Unfortunately, that 'kick in' Happens right that moment, when Riddle is overcome by pain. His whole body felt like it was on glass and nails and he could only cry out in pain. Floyd couldn't do much, only hug him as best as he could and whisper sweet nothings and apologies to the latter. Thankfully, Riddle passes out before he could hit the half mark of the said transformation. And Floyd just stays like that with him, too afraid to even move an inch in any direction.
When Riddle wakes up, he realises 2 things.
1. His vision was much more clearer now
2. He had a weird craving to eat something
Floyd is insanely happy that the latter was alive. One cannot express how relieved he was when se saw the latter opening his eyes. It finally explained why Riddle had magic in the first place to begin with! Riddle tho, bursts that little happy bubble of the latter, by asking what in the world happend. So Floyd summons a mirror and helps the latter up.
And Riddle sees for the first time, just what kind of creature he became.
He had his body stained in ink at the end of the limbs and over his upper face, in a gradient, long claws, 2 pairs of wings, long pointy ears, sharp teeth and eyes with no iris or pupils. The crown he saw initially was now made out of thick horns on his head, while the big gem it initially had was coming out of his chest, even glowing slightly in a beating heart rhythm. His clothes were replaced by a skintight suit, having an opening at the chest area to show the said gem, with big and sleek heels and a very intricate armour-like corset as a sort of belt.
Naturally, Riddle's absolutely horrified. But he felt powerful. He felt invincible, like he could make the world bow down to him by a mere snap of a finger. And his body felt light, comfortable, but his mind was screaming at him that it was wrong. He just became a much worse creature than he could've ever imagined.
And Floyd finally clears it out for him: He wasn't sealed by just random chance. There is an organisation tasked with hunting and eradicating creatures of his kind. Initially, Floyd fled from the sea along his brother and other mers, under Azul's guidance. The latter said that their abyss crown found a new vessel for its godly dark power, so they should follow it and serve their new leader, in exchange for protection. Azul made a decoy crown that he holds onto, while Floyd received the real deal, turned into a pendant. Unfortunately, the said organisation made traps for magic creatures, out of surveillance systems. And when Floyd was trying to follow a lead of the pendant, he got trapped inside. He didn't think Riddle would be chosen. Nor did he think that he would swallow it instead of just putting it on his head like every ruler previously did.
Riddle, worried, asks what happens now that he swallowed it. Like... It's apart of him. The gem is literally his heart now. Floyd is just as clueless as him, but all he knows is that he and all the other magical creatures surely felt the awakening. So he has to serve Riddle in exchange for protection. That was how things were supposed to go.
Riddle tho, insists that he doesn't want Floyd to serve him. In fact, he didn't want any of this. He wants to be a normal human, living a quiet life. But now, he's stuck as this darkness elderich diety! Like there has to be some way to hide it at least.
Thankfully, it was. Floyd did show Riddle that night how he hid his monster nature from Crowley and the public when he works as a guard. And Riddle learns how to appear fully human for the night.
The next day, Riddle realises just what that craving to eat was all about.
He had to give a few tests today and every time, he seemed to feed off students's fear and dread. Or any emotion for the matter. Those made him feel full and even skip lunch for the matter. But nothing satisfied more the craving than Floyd. And it wasn't any negative emotion from him, rather the effort and love he put in helping his beloved goldfishie adapt, was what satisfied Riddle beyond words. Floyd did know that previous rulers did feed on their subjects's emotional energy, but he really didn't expect Riddle to like his emotions as a superior meal than the others.
Still, things couldn't be peaceful for once.
Because on one night, someone actually tries to sneak into the school, while Riddle was trying to get used to his new body, mostly by walking across the halls with Floyd by his side.
That someone were the first years form Riddle's class. And when they both make the corner and come face to face, it's a screaming match. :'3
The first years, naturally go 'Oh shit! A monster!', while Riddle goes 'Oh Shit! Those are my students!'. Floyd just finds this thing hilarious. Still, out of the group, Deuce is the one who bows down immediately, apologising for not stopping these 'poor mind humans' from disturbing 'you majesty'.
It's revealed 2 things:
1. Deuce is a winged night creature who did figure out that Riddle was his ruler now.
2. The boring ass logics teacher is now a darkness deity. :'3
Riddle was feeling so screwed, so he made these mfs swear they won't say a thing about this to anyone. And the group agreed out of natural fear of getting a much worse fate if they don't comply. :'3
It was also only fair for Jack and Sebek to come forth and admit that they were also apart of the supranatural side. Sebek was a half Fae, whole Jack was a were-wolf.
Only Ace and Epel are dumb hoomans. :'3
But! The first years come in handy as extra hands to help break the seal. So Floyd was free! Yay! :D
Because he had nowhere else to go, Riddle takes Floyd at his house to live for now while he had no job to tend to. This also made them hang out in weekends now. :3
Now that he was free, Floyd's new objective was to find his initial colony. And ofc, he insisted that Riddle has to come with him. If it wasn't for the recent changes, Riddle would've still refused him, but now he will certainly be on the watchlist of this organisation that hunts the supranatural. And he is expected to be some all powerful wise leader.
He felt like a clueless kid again, Which is one thing Riddle hates.
So, much to Floyd's surprise, the redhead tries to hit the books. He's training and meditating a lot, all in hopes of understanding the powers he just acquired. It's not easy, but so it's Riddle's pettiness. He did accidentally kill some of his plants in pretty brutal ways, but alas, he learned to heal them back somewhat. :'3
Once Floyd does get ahold of Azul and by extension the rest of the people under his lead, the 2 have to set out to go after him. Riddle is very hesitant about it, since he never had to leave out of town until now. Yes, he went to college, but that was it.
And his planned leave doesn't fly unnoticed.
Trey is pretty worried when he hears that Riddle plans a leave for a few good days(since the place Azul was at wasn't actually far). So he does ask the redhead if something happened. Indeed, something did happen, but Riddle didn't really know if he should tell his friend or not, so he opted to simply avoid Trey, lest he won't have a confrontation.
Crowley is not very happy that these 2 got to leave at the same time, still, he reassigns Trey back on the Nightshift duty, since he was there at least once. That's the perfect excuse for Riddle to 'show Trey around' since 'a few things changed since last time'.
Trey almost has a heart attack upon the news being told to him... That's for sure. :'3
This time around, Riddle does explain to the latter that the first years might get in from time to time, mostly to help around. Just be nice to them and it's all good. For now Floyd was at home, resting a bit, so Riddle could take his place as the Nightshift guide.
As for Trey... Sure he was horrified at first, but once the initial shock went away, he was simply just worried. Worried for his buddy's safety. He doesn't doubt that Riddle is a smart individual, but this is a situation in which anyone could crack under pressure. He's worried about what would happen if Riddle did break under the pressure too, especially since he's both a powerful creature and on the watchlist of an organisation tasked to kill his kind.
Still Trey has no other option than to say goodbye to his friend and tend to the Nightshift duty in a somewhat peace. Or whatever you call it when 5 teens with mischievous tendencies are breaking into the school to bother you. :'3
So Riddle and Floyd go on with their little road. It was oddly quiet and that only helped make the redhead's nerves stretch more.
But they do find a small restaurant, run by none other than Azul!
Upon seeing Floyd, Azul's hugging the latter, glad that he's alive and well. But after the whole situation gets explained to him, he's absolutely livid. Of course, he firstly pays his respects to Riddle, who assures him that there's no need for honorifics, then he shows the 2 what he's been up as of late.
See, Azul worked to establish his restaurant and have the others of their kind work here or at another branch he has. He met Idia and Malleus, both who are helping the unemployed creatures by taking them under their own organisations: Idia with STIX and Malleus to work in his Kingdom away from the human reach.
Unfortunately Jade, Floyd's brother, was caught by the organisation when they tried to flee to another place one time. Azul felt horrible delivering the news to Floyd, but there was still a tiny bit of hope there. Jade could still be alive for all they knew.
Floyd was done and over with this organisation bullshit. Now that they had their 'leader', they could finally strike back against those mfs that shooed them from their homes for so long. By now Riddle made peace with the fact that he'll have to get rid of that organisation if he ever wanted a chance to return to a somewhat peaceful life. And he did make his wish clear to Azul: he wants that organisation gone so that, after it, Riddle could live a peaceful life as a teacher. He never wanted any of this, but that doesn't mean he won't get involved in attempting to fix this injustice.
so the night creatures start to gather up. Only a few stood behind with the children, while the others were getting ready for war. They heard their 'leader''s wish and they were more than happy with it. In fact they were ecstatic about getting back at the thing that terrorised them for generations.
This is also when we meet Malleus and Idia. Malleus was kind enough to lend some of his Fae troupes, since this organisation also targeted his kind, while Idia provided inside information and revealed the fact that hostages are indeed taken, so there was a fair chance Jade was there too.
So the big battle does commence at the main headquarters of the organisation. There was absolute bloodshed there. Yet Riddle simply followed after Floyd, using his own learned spells from time to time to protect those on their side or push out of their way the enemies.
Fortunately, Jade was alive.
Unfortunately that was also a trap.
The second Floyd tried to reach his brother, he got blocked in the tank with Jade, both unable to leave. Riddle wanted to release both of them, but he gets stopped midway by someone.
And that someone was his own mother.
See... She was a doctor... Giving credit where's due... But Mrs Weinachts (since Riddle changed his name after getting disowned) also worked for the organisation, by analysing the biology of the said creatures. Jade was supposed to be dissected, but when he showed a weird behaviour (when Riddle swallowed the gem), it was figured that he has to be kept alive and be studied upon patterns. And sure enough, it predicted this attack.
Now she can't recognise Riddle at all, due to him being in his creature form, but the latter sure knows who she is and the shock is too much for him. He realises that, most certainly, if he didn't follow his own desires, he would've ended up here. Now everyone was fighting for their life and freedom here. His dear Floyd was captured and his own mother, who disowned him and haunts him with his 'failures' threatened to kill the 2 eel mers if Riddle doesn't throw in the towel.
Trey's fears were good founded, because they did happen. Riddle did crack under all the pressure, which ended up with the whole place crumbling down under his unattended power. And naturally, this ends with the supranatural beings winning. They cheer together and celebrate.
But Floyd finds Riddle in a sort of trance, looking at his hands smeared with some blood as he was processing the events that just happened. When he does realise it, he breaks down crying that he killed his own mother. Sure, she abandoned him once adulthood came, but still she was his mother. And he killed her!
And the worst part about it was that it felt good. It felt good to feed on her desperation for survival. Riddle was ashamed of it, of the monster he became. He just wants back home, back to his peaceful and quiet life.
And his wish gets fulfilled.
The rest of the creatures already established proper lives in hiding. Sure, some returned to solitarity in far to reach lands, while others integrated better amongst the humans. Riddle did make it clear that, unless it's a situation similar to how the organisation they just defeated, he won't step up to lead them. They don't need a leader to follow mindlessly around, when they could have their own lives how they want.
So, in the end, we do return to the same old routine Riddle used to have. But now he lives together with Floyd and still comes in terms with every new discovery about his powers.
And that would be for the main plot :D
I was thinking that after this big one, if it were to follow, it would be some small adventures where we meet the rest of the twst Bois and see what they are up to.
For example: Kalim is a museum owner and Jamil is a Naga sorcerer that was trapped in stone for many years, thus he wasn't aware of the changes in society and everything. That was to be discovered on a field trip to the said museum and all that. :v
So for now... I guess I'll leave the rest to y'all to theorise and ask what do you think about the rest of the Bois. For some I really have 0 idea what they could be, so suggestions are welcomed :3
Until next time! Buh bye! :D
#twisted wonderland#surveillance duty au#floyd x riddle#florid#ah yes... local haunting creature and his favourite tired hooman#only to evolve into funny lil creature and his elderich diety boyfriend. :'3#by the finale I realise that it's basically the bride and ugly ass husband#but this was made way before the trend :'3#it would be fun to draw them like that tho :'3
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