#it's one of the few things that irritated me in caos

[diviningtime]

You wanna know what my personal ‘Lilia rant’ is? The way people always claim witch is a metaphor. Oh they’ve used witches in this show as a metaphor to represent femal struggle, oh when people say 'witch' it's just a word for a strong, independent woman, oh using the word coven is a metaphor represent the gay community, oh it’s to represent this thing or that thing.

Sometimes it’s just representing witches. Sometimes it’s just us. Sometimes when the word is being used or is being talked about, it's just about witches, about people who are connected to something the mainstream isn't, people who aren't part of, as Zelda would call it, 'the false god's propaganda machine'.

I'm not saying it can't be used as a metaphor for any of the above things, or that you personally can't see it as a metaphor for your own experiences; my issue is with the constancy of it within media/reviews/articles etc, how witches always have to represent something else instead of just ourselves, and it just feels like an erasure for the modern era. Oh can't hang you at the gallows or shove you in a barrel of tar or cut off your breasts and shove them in your mouth anymore, so we'll just dismiss you as metaphors and fiction.

And there is someone on tumblr who posted about how this show was such great representation for witches because they actually did research and really based the fiction in real witchcraft. So I'm glad there's at least one post out there feeling that way.

[andy-solo1]

Family [ Dad!Crosshair ]

Summary: Crosshair discovers the Kaminoans have created a clone of him and he decides to take the kid and leave the empire, rejoining his brothers. 

Warnings: Mild mentions of kaminoans wanting to kill the cross clone 

Words:1,511

Special shoutout / thanks to my friend @ranovlas​ for helping me hash out all the details and inspiring this origin story for my crosshair’s kid oc 

- - - - - - - - - 

Crosshair had known the kaminoans were taking his blood. They tried to disguise it with checkups when he’d come back from missions, but he knew what they were doing. They’d never taken his blood like that before and he hadn’t known why. Until now. 

He’d heard them talking in hushed tones for a while now around him, and he was getting irritated enough to figure out exactly what was going on. He slipped out of his barracks in the night, ignoring the usual sting of not seeing his brothers there but rather the people he’d been given by the empire to be his team. He made his way through the halls and to the area he’d overheard some of the scientists talking about keeping him away from. 

Unsurprisingly it had been guarded, but nothing he couldn’t handle. Once he was inside the room, he stared down at what they’d been using his blood for. One thing he never would have thought of. A baby. 

He didn’t have Tech’s skill, but he was still able to get into the computer in the room to read up on what exactly was happening. The kaminoans wanted to try recreating him, so they used his blood to try cloning him, mixing in small amounts of other genetics as well. Cloning a clone would thin out the genetics too much, but by adding in others for more desired traits made it concentrated enough for it to work. So, the cloning process worked, right up until the advanced ageing genetic stopped working on the kid. They figured it was because it become immune to it from it already coming in small concentrations from Crosshair’s own DNA. 

The last part of the information he could find had him seeing red. They were going to terminate the child because without the advanced ageing it would basically be useless. 

Crosshair looked down at the kid lying in the crib, watching as the boy opened his eyes and looked up at him with eyes so similar to his own. His hands clenched in anger at his sides. This was basically his kid and they were just going to kill him. He couldn’t let that happen and he knew what he had to do. 

He reached down to pick up the kid, pausing when the little boy grabbed onto one of his fingers to just hold it in his small hand. Crosshair felt like something inside him melted at the sight. He never once considered having a kid, and if asked he would have said no, children were not something he wanted. But now, looking down at this kid, he just knew he wanted to be the best father he could be to him. Save him from the kind of childhood like he’d had. 

He carefully picked the little boy up. “Okay kid, keep quiet so we can leave.” He muttered, and the little boy yawned in response. “Atta boy.” he quirked a small smile at the boy before slipping from the room. He knew the biggest problem was the cameras around the base, and he was certain his ventures into the kids room were to have been noticed by now. 

Crosshair moved quickly through the halls as he made his way to the hangar bay. The one advantage of it being the dead of night was that the halls remain mostly empty, and any he came across were easy enough to take out, despite the now sleeping baby in his arms. He thought they would get out easy yet when he rounded the final corner to the hanger a large group stood waiting with blasters ready, a few of the head kaminoans milling about in the group, looking deeply upset. 

He cursed under his breath and quickly ducked behind cover before anyone could see him. It was times like this he missed his brothers. Hunter and Tech could have come up with a plan to let them get through, or at the very least Wrecker would’ve caused some kind of caos to disrupt the group to let them through. 

Crosshair grinned to himself as he got an idea. He carefully set the baby down beside him before taking off his Firepuncher, because really he never went anywhere without it, and used it to look around the hanger. 

Off to the side he noticed a few tanks of fuel. He took aim and fired, causing the tanks to explode and general chaos to start as the troopers began shouting and running about to figure out what happened. Crosshair quickly slung his rifle back over his back and picked up the kid as he started crying from the loud sound. He bolted towards the closest shuttle. 

“OVER THERE!” He heard someone shout before blaster fire seared the air. He dodged the shots and climbed into the shuttle, quickly closing up the ramp and sliding into the pilots seat. 

Blasts scored the sides of the ship as Crosshair powered it up and pulled it up and away from the base. He knew they’d follow him in ships but he had a moment of peace as he set the ship to autopilot, throwing in some coordinates quickly to a nearby planet. 

“Hey kid, stop crying.” He said, finally turning his attention to the screaming baby still in his arms. The baby sobbed and looked up at him. He sighed and wiped away the kid’s tears. 

“I am in way over my head with you, but I won’t let them hurt you.” He muttered. Slowly the baby stopped crying and drifted back off to sleep. Crosshair watched him for a moment before turning to the ship’s controls and typing in a code he didn’t think he’d ever use again. He waited silently, not even sure his call would be answered when a holographic form of his brother suddenly appeared from the comm, his call answered. 

“Crosshair?” Tech asked, looking at him incredulously. 

“Tech, I’ve left the empire, but they’re going to come after me. Could you-”

“I am already plotting out a track on your location and we’ll come get you.” Tech replied, cutting off Crosshair. 

“You’re not even going to ask if this is a lie to hand you all in?” Crosshair asked tensely and Tech glanced away from whatever he’d been looking at to look at his brother.  

“I’d like to believe that you wouldn’t lie about that, and regardless of if you are, it would be improper to not show up. You are our brother and we will always come back for you.” Tech replied, and Crosshair snorted. 

“So much for coming back last time then huh?” He snapped. 

“Crosshair-”

“Just show up if you are coming.” Crosshair said quickly, cutting him off and ending the call. He settled in for the fight and waited for his brothers to come as other ships finally began to approach. 

- - - - - - 

The Marauder landed down next to the stolen shuttle Crosshair used on a planet closeby to Kamnio. Not entirely ideal but they didn’t plan on sticking around long enough for it to be a huge problem. 

Crosshair had taken down the ships following him and lost what ones he hadn’t been able to gun down, especially once his brothers’ ship joined in to help him out. Now he stood outside watching as the ramp to the ship dropped and his brothers walked out. 

“Why do you have a baby?” Wrecker asked the moment he saw Crosshair. Suddenly all eyes went to the baby Crosshair was holding close. 

“He’s mine.” Crosshair replied stiffly. Hunter narrowed his gaze.

“What exactly do you mean by that?”  

“They cloned me. They were going to kill him, so I left with him.” Crosshair retorted and a silence fell over the group. 

Omega finally made her way over to Crosshair and hugged him, mindful of the kid he was holding. “Welcome back.” She said, and it was like the dam broke, the rest of his family finally coming over and hugging him or patting him on the shoulder in their own forms of welcoming him back. 

“We’ll have to get supplies to help care for the kid.” Tech said once they were all going onto the Marauder. 

“I know.” Crosshair replied, his tone daring anyone to tell him they probably shouldn’t keep the kid because they didn’t really have the funds to care for him easily. None of them would dare say so. This kid was part of their family now, that they all silently agreed on. 

“He’s going to need a name.” Hunter commented, looking over at the kid, who by now was awake and looking around at the others with curiosity. Crosshair was keeping the kid close, not wanting to trust anyone else with him. 

“I was thinking about that. I like Ryker.” Crosshair said after a few moments. 

“That’s your choice, so Ryker it is. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry Cross…and welcome back.” Hunter said. Crosshair nodded silently, though inside he was happy to be back with his family, and happy for their new addition as well.

[rex101111]

Baiken's tike at Wei was nice. Cao Cao pays well, Dun and brotyer Yuan are chill, Zhang Liao makes for a good sparring partner... but she'd never really get used to two people.

Sima Yi is just INFERNALLY annoying, laughing sinisterly to himself like a jackass and calling everyone "IMBECILLES!"

And Zhang He is just... weird. He's nice, cordial, but a tad "too happy". Baiken feels like his dance numbers are a fever dream from Faust's anesthetics suring a surgery.

* "I'm going to kill him," Baiken says one day, during a break in sparring with Liao in which the imperious laughter of Sima Yi echoes through the fort and reaches the courtyard, "I'm going to kill him and all of you will thank me for it."

Yuan, sitting nearby with his brother taking bets on which of the two warriors gets too tired first laughs so hard he nearly falls off his chair, "ha! Lady samurai, if I had a baozi for every time I heard that line, I'd never go hungry again!"

"Yi is useful for all of his..." Dun waves his hand in the air for a moment, "eccentricities, Lord Cao Cao knows this, and uses him appropriately."

"Ain't Cao Cao supposed to be smart?" Baiken retorts irritably, "what's he doing, inviting a viper like that into his house?"

"To eat the rats," Liao answers confidently, from where he sits on the ground huffing and puffing for air. "The one thing Sima Yi hates more than taking orders is losing, so he remains where he is."

"Eat the rats, huh? That right?" She looks around the courtyard, "anyone here put some thought into what happens when the rats run out?"

"We kill him." Dun says blandly, draining his cup before filling it again, "all in due time."

Baiken looks in the direction of Yi's laughter, sees him roaming the halls and yelling at some poor scribe unfortunate to get caught in his path, and sneers, "and you think he doesn't know that?"

Yuan laughs again, though more restrained, "it's all a balancing act Baiken, simply trust Lord Cao Cao knows what he's doing."

"I'm a mercenary, if my employer's putting me in danger, I wanna know he isn't being stupid." She shakes her head and rubs her temple, grumbling, "balancing act...yeah, more like a pain in my ass." She huffs, "Yo, Liao, get off your ass and pick up your axes, I'm pissed, need another ten rounds."

The normally stoic and stalwart warrior pales a bit, smiling nervously, "ten?"

"Keep talking like that and I'll make it twenty, now get ready."

The sounds of clashing metal resume, and Dun hands his brother a few coins, knowing when to concede defeat.

* She's actually fin with Zhang He, if only because she's already used to dealing with loud and excitable dancers. Though he is really fucking weird.

He keeps trying to get her to join in on dance numbers and/or to do her makeup and she does not want to end up looking like something a butterfly threw up.

Zhang He sparred with her a few times and was surprised to see how easily she managed to dodge his normally disorienting moves. Baiken attributes it to prior experience.

[thetvmoviefan]

Nabrina FanFics Part 10

Sabrina Spellman & Nicholas Scratch (Nick Scratch) FanFics MASTERLIST (UPDATEABLE PINNABLE)

Updated: September 20, 2020

As we await for news on Part 4 and when exactly when we will get the final part of CAOS, here are some fantastic Nabrina Fics by some wickedly good writers. Escape into their amazing and magical creations through their amazing writing as we wait on a final part. Make sure to leave some Love/Praise or Kudos through the comments on their work. Or maybe given them a little message to how much you enjoy their stories, they are the heroes through this Nabrina/CAOS hiatus. 

As always have a Wicked or Hell-ish these fics and ENJOY!!!!

Fics in order by Last Update: 9/20/2020

[Key: AU=Alternate Reality - AH=All Human/All Mortal - * = New Fics to List]

1. “Wicked Winds”*

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: Nicholas Scratch winds up at the Academy of Unseen Arts after being kicked out of several others for being too smart - and too powerful - for his own good. He’s got a chip on his shoulder and he’s not in Greendale to make friends. But then he meets Sabrina Spellman, a witch that’s not only beautiful, but just as up for breaking the rules as him.Except she wants nothing to do with him.His old friend Prudence places a bet that he can’t get her to give into him - but things get complicated as he not only starts to fall for Sabrina, but a deadly darkness settles over Greendale. Rated M - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 9/19/2020

2. “Let’s Fall in Love for the Night”*

Author: shotgunkitten @shotgunkitten​

Summary: Hilda Spellman once said that their meeting was fate. And while neither Sabrina Spellman nor Nicholas Scratch were sure if they believed in that kind of thing, they were sure of this: They never wanted to find out what their lives would be like without each other. AU/AH- Rated T - Chapters 10/? - Last Update 9/18/2020

3. “Cruel Summer”

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: A mix between AU and Cannon, where the young members of the Church of Night also attend Baxter High. The young witches and warlocks then go to the Unseen Arts Summer Camp to bolster their gifts. However Sabrina, being half mortal, only began attending after her Dark Baptism. To the mortals of Greendale, Unseen Arts Camp was for the wealthy. An elite sector of the Baxter High youth that attended a camp deep in the Greendale Wood far upstream of Sweetwater River. Many had tried to find and break in, but none have succeeded. To the mortals, the divide between the camp attendees and the not was of money and status. When in fact, the difference lay with light vs. night.Set between two timelines- the present and the summer, Sabrina attends camp for the first time and grows closer to Nick only for them to be torn apart as school starts. Rated Mature - Chapters 24/? - Last Update 9/17/2020

4. “Unwritten”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Tired of her aunt’s matchmaking attempts, Sabrina decides to tell a little white lie… and now she needs a boyfriend to accompany her to her hometown for the holidays.And who better to play that part than her good friend Nicholas Scratch? There is only one little problem… He had a crush on her since the day they met. When two friends pretend to be in a relationship, what could possibly go wrong? Rated T - Chapters 9/? - Last Update 9/15/2020

5. “Before the Devil Breaks Me”*

Author: willowaus @willowaus

Summary: All Sabrina wants to do is enjoy the last few years with her mortal friends. Attend college, party a little too hard, and make endless memories with them. But when you're a Spellman nothing ever goes as planned, especially not when she meets her handsomely mischievous classmate, Nick Scratch, who introduces her to a side of witchcraft that she's never thought possible.When people start ending up murdered in ritual sacrifices on campus Sabrina knows she can't keep both of her worlds apart any longer. Especially when it seems each murder is a message for her. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 19/? - Last Update 9/15/2020

6. “If You Let Me”

Author: bunivy aka @bunivys

Summary: After pouring all of her time and effort into obtaining a law degree in the city, Sabrina Spellman moves back to Greendale for one last summer before she departs for good. She's fully intent on enjoying her stay in her hometown, even deciding to pick up a part-time job at her Aunt Hilda's cafe to save up some money. The only problem is that the boy in the bookstore across the way is one she's had some not-so-good history with and it's becoming increasingly harder to ignore him. Before long, she finds herself exploring the complexities of old high-school grudges and what-ifs, all while trying to sort out her present-day relationship with the boy she has long since deemed as non-existent.Meanwhile, Nicholas Scratch wonders if it would just be easier to remain non-existent. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 23/? - Last Update 9/04/2020

7. “Off The Record - One Shots”

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: Missing scenes from my completed piece, 'Off The Record.' AU/AH - Not Rated - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 9/07/2020

8. "Free Pour”

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: He's a bartender with a perfect free pour and a Ph.D. candidate. She thinks she wants to be a lawyer and wishes she had taken more chances in life. Both of them are trying to move on. But when their paths collide, Nick's hand is no longer steady with the bottle and she's far more willing to take a risk. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 23/23 - COMPLETED 9/01/2020

9. "Burning House”*

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows​

Summary: Sabrina hasn't seen him in months but she still sees him everywhere. Nick sees her every night in his dreams. They both know what they want, but won't let the other have it. Not yet. Not when Nick will hardly talk to her and Sabrina used well...THAT candle... ONE-SHOT - Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 8/28/2020

10. “Born To Love You”*

Author: thoughtsaboutshows aka @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: So Sabrina left Harvey at the altar for Nick. What now? Tune in for snapshots into Nick and Sabrina's life now that they've admitted their true feelings. What happened after Sabrina left Harvey and ran to Nick? Did they live happily ever after?This will be a collection of snapshots of this version of Nick and Sabrina. I don't know how often it will be updated, but we will get a look into their life together.I enjoy writing my fics based on songs, so if a particular song screams this Nick and Sabrina to you please message me on tumblr or comment below and maybe I'll write a scene based on it! ****Follow up to One-Shot Marry Me. Go READ it first!****  AU/AH - Not Rated - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 8/15/2020

11. “The Four Pictures”

Author: Copper_16

Summary: It’s been 10 years. Nick and Sabrina are teachers at the Academy along with some familiar faces. It’s been a decade there can’t be that much chaos anymore, right? Wrong. Rated T - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 8/04/2020

12. “Marry Me”*

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: “No, No, No.” Nick said as he shook his head at Prudence. “Sabrina is my best friend. That’s it.”“Sure.” Prudence shrugged her shoulders.When she explained to her brother that they were likely more she had said it as a statement, not an invitation to have a conversation about it. She was entirely annoyed by the Spellman girl, and had found it odd and irritating that she and her brother had been attached at the hip from a young age.“Besides she’s marrying Kinkle, Prudence.” Nick explained more to himself than to Prudence. His eyes were wild and looking around the room, searching for something to land on. “Not me.”“Do you want her to?” Prudence asked as she leaned forward. Nick paused, unsure how to answer that question. Nick had been in love with Sabrina Spellman for most of his life. But she was happy with Harvey Kinkle. Prudence rolled her eyes and stood up sighing, and placed a hand on Nick’s shoulder. She was rarely affectionate and this was as comforting as she got. “You may want to figure that out.” AU/AH - Rated Mature - ONE-SHOT - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 7/11/2020

13. “The Chaos In the Stars”

Author: willowaus @willowaus

Summary: Nick sacrificed himself to save her, but Sabrina's not about to let him fester away in Hell. But what happens when saving the one she loves brings about a series of apocalyptic events that Sabrina and the rest of the Spellman clan need to thwart?Alternate part 3. (Part 3 Fic) - Rated Mature - Chapters 24/24 - COMPLETED 6/30/2020

14. “A Little Wicked”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Sometimes, in the darkness of her room, unable to sleep, she thought about how easy it would be to fall in love with him. And she was sure a part of her was a bit in love with him already, but she kept holding to the past and that was hurting them both. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 6/16/2020

15. “Crash Into Me”

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: Set after Part 3 and some time after Nick and Sabrina's breakup. Just a little one-shot of a mission they get sent on by Zelda. Tough conversations and some tears...and one bed ONE-SHOT - Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 6/15/2020

16. “Heaven can’t help me now”

Author: bunivy @bunivys

Summary: Soulmates are a universal law, the way of life. Sabrina's soulmate is Harvey, but she'll pick Nick every time, in every way. ONE-SHOT - Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 6/13/2020

17. “I knew you were trouble”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Sabrina didn’t know that being away from home for the first time could be so hard.Away from her aunts, friends and her-lifelong-boyfriend, Sabrina have to deal with the nostalgia but also with the new challenges College's life mean: get used to share a room with a not-so-nice roommate, put up with long hours of study and very few of sleep, learn to live from pre-cooked meals instead of her aunt Hilda’s homemade ones, find balance between her studies and her new social life… And resist the temptation a certain Nicholas Scratch mean for her. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 28/28 - COMPLETED 6/06/2020

18. “A Thing or Two to Learn”

Author: gracefulchaos

Summary: What if Sabrina and Nick weren't in the same coven, and they met each other later in life? AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 6/06/2020

19. “When the Bones are Good”

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: Sabrina Spellman is enjoying her life as a normal teenager. Sabrina Morningstar is reigning Hell with an iron fist. Ambrose Spellman is searching for a solution to bring them back together and close the time loop, Sabrina's wishes be damned. And Nicholas Scratch? He's faced down his own demons and he's desperate for redemption.Except the clock is ticking.On time and Terrors. (Part 4 Fic) - Rated General - Chapters 28/28 - COMPLETED 6/05/2020

20. “Bury a Lie”

Author: raeinthedark

Summary: Sabrina is comfortable with death. It's her job. But everything is changed on a rainy October morning. The life and work she was accustomed to are forever different in the wake of tragedy. There really isn't coming back from this, unless she can figure out who's behind it. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 5/04/2020

21. “I run to you”

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: Nick and Sabrina love two things. Research and each other. But their research often takes them to far away places, and far away from the person they love most. AU/AH - Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - One-Shot COMPLETED - 5/21/2020

22. “My Body Is A Canvas For Your Love”

Author: Unseemingowl aka @unseemingowl

Summary: Sabrina had no love for the whip or the belt or the cane that Nick had used to enjoy so much, but restraints... That was another matter entirely. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 4/29/2020

23. ”Ground Beneath Her Feet”

Author: mindlesshappy aka @feministstree

Summary: Sabrina is born out of a miracle - one that she wishes would repeat for her, but when she is destined for someone else, how much can she resist before her heart decides to give in. Alternatively, Nick is Sabrina's soulmate, but she really just wants Harvey to be it. Also, in the backseat are all the other possible ships, getting their own soulmate glories. Rated T - Chapters 18/? - Last Update 4/17/2020

24. “in your eyes (there's something burning inside you)”

Author: jessequicksters

Summary: Nicholas falls in love with Sabrina as fast as a mortal sells their soul to the devil. The only problem is, in the Church of Night, everything has a price. Even love.Especially love.(He bleeds every time he dreams of Sabrina and when they kiss, it happens too, but love isn't supposed to hurt, right? Except he's never known about love; the only thing he knows is that this half-mortal is going to be the death of him.) Rated Mature - Chapters 5/5 - Last Update 3/22/2020

25. “The Institute for Divine Craft”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch

Summary: After a humiliating spat with Father Blackwood pushes Sabrina away from her witching life and the Academy, Madam Satan crafts an alternative solution to move Sabrina Spellman further down the path of night. Ultimately leading her to the Institute for the Divine Craft. A handsome Headmaster with mysterious ties to her father, convinces Sabrina to abandon her mortal life, and cultivate her abilities as a child of the Church of Lucifer. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 19/? - Last Update 3/22/2020

26. “My Lover of Blood and Milk”

Author: Unseemingowl aka @unseemingowl

Summary: It didn’t feel as though it had only been a few hours since she had made her way to the Greendale woods for Lupercalia. As she sat there, shivering in her muddied and bloodied silk slip, it felt as if a completely different person had made her way back out of the forest...... Or how Sabrina struggles with lust and trust after her disastrous Lupercalian night with Nick. Rated Mature - Chapters 4/4 - Last Update 3/15/2020

27. “I Need to Know”

Author: raeinthedark

Summary: Love isn't that easy to erase... and that song is on again. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 2/29/2020

28. “Be True To Your School”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch

Summary: Nicholas Scratch is the Golden Boy™ of Baxter High; star athlete, top of his class academically, and devastatingly handsome. Sabrina Spellman sees Sophomore year as an opportunity to expand her horizons; joining the cheerleading squad, running for student council, and making new friends along the way while working to maintain her relationships with her old friends. What Sabrina Spellman doesn't know: sophomore year is about to turn her world upside-down. Rated T - Chapters 6/? - Last Update 2/23/2020

29. “Ocean”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: AU, M-Rated. Nicholas Scratch has everything working in his favor. He's got a decent job as a history teacher, his roommate Melvin is always up for video games and getting high, and Sabrina Spellman lets him mess up her sheets frequently. Sabrina knows Nick isn't good for her, but she can't stay away, no matter how hard it is to pretend she's completely okay with their casual arrangement. But when life takes an unexpected curve, Nick is forced to face a new normal he doesn't know how to navigate. And Sabrina may or may not be there to help him through it. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 27/27 - COMPLETED 2/10/2020

30. “I’ll be there”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: She couldn’t stop looking at him, since she had recovered him from the claws of the Dark Lord, she felt unable to be apart from him and had to admit that part of her was afraid he would disappear if she moved from his side. And Sabrina wouldn't let anyone or anything separate him from her again. Never. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 1/30/2020

31. “Walk away”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Pain. Could he someday escape the pain? He sometimes thought it impossible. It was strange, his relationship with the pain, it was an enemy and a friend. The pain numbed him. The pain didn’t let him sleep. The pain hurt him and soothed him. It was unhealthy, the way the pain helped him relieve the pain. But it was the only thing he had left. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 1/27/2020

32. “To Hell and Back”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: Sabrina was successful in her efforts to retrieve Nick from Hell, but the damage - physical and emotional - is deep. Sometimes, the only way to heal is to go your separate ways and trust things will work themselves out in the end. (Written before Part 3 - an alternate take on how Nick recovers from his time in Hell - with and without Sabrina). Rated Mature - Chapters 3/3 - Last Update 1/26/2020

33. “The Morning(star) After”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch

Summary: A Painful NickxSabrina Reunion Rated T - Chapters 1/3 - Last Update 1/24/2020

34. “My only love sprung from my only hate”

Author: filmharlot

Summary: High School AU where Nick is based on the version of him that Sabrina creates in her dream during the Batibat episode. Harvey and Sabrina have broken up and don't want to work together on the Romeo and Juliet assignment in Drama class, so she ends up being partners with Nick AU - Not Rated - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 1/19/2020

35. “A very witchy Christmas”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Just a bit of silly Christmas fluff that I couldn’t help but write, placed in the series universe after a huge jump in time. Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 12/25/2019

36. “Mortal Little Christmas”

Author: HeartsInJeopardy

Summary: ‘Twas the night before Christmas – and the first for Nick Scratch - but Sabrina’s holiday movie was not a good match. Rated T - Chapters 2/2 - Last Update 12/21/2019

37. “Lessons in the Unseen”

Author: bunivy aka @bunivys

Summary: Academy Teachers AU. Sabrina Spellman lives as simple a life as a half-mortal half-witch can. Despite her dislike for the headmaster, she enjoys spending her time teaching Ritual Magic at the Academy of Unseen Arts, hoping to positively shape the minds of young witches and warlocks. However, with the sudden dreadful announcement of her aunt Zelda's engagement and the appearance of one mysterious - and strikingly handsome - Nicholas Scratch, Sabrina finds that her life is not so simple anymore. Or all that safe. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 32/32 - COMPLETED 12/17/2019

38. “Just a Little Obsessed”

Author: eyerys

Summary: Nicholas has developed a tinie-tiny crush on Sabrina. Nothing like major or whatever. It's not like he thinks about her all the time or daydreams about what it would be like to be with her or how cool she is. No, not at all.Sabrina doesn't have a crush on Nick. No, not at all. Uh-uh. She has Harvey. Sweet and loving Harvey Kinkle. But for some reason, she can't help but find her mind wandering. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 12/13/2019

39. “As The Moon Rises”

Author: venzaren

Summary: Sabrina Spellman is tired.Tired of living a double life. Tired of facing discrimination at the hands of her pack. Tired of dealing with her status as an Omega. And most of all, she's tired of people hounding her about finding her mate.Then Nick Scratch returns to Greendale. AU - Rated General - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 12/07/2019

40. “Thirteen Memories”

Author: tempestbreak

Summary: (Set at the end of Season 2) Sabrina and her friends go to Hell and rescue Nick -- but what happens when that's the easy part?It turns out, having the Dark Lord inside your mind for months can do some damage, and Nick comes back different. His memories of the events leading up to his sacrifice, including his relationship with Sabrina, are gone. How can Sabrina help him regain his memories of their time together when she's not even sure she trusts her own? Rated Mature - Chapters 6/? - Last Update 11/02/2019

41. “But The Greatest Is Love”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: The acheron captured Lucifer Morningstar, but their problems are far from over. The coven is decimated, the Church of Night is no more, Father Blackwood is on the run, and Nick and Sabrina's relationship is in ruins. How do they pick up the pieces and move on? There are more questions than answers and the consequences could be of biblical proportions. Rated Mature - Chapters 25/25 - COMPLETED 10/28/2019

42. “Back to You”

Author: nadiaselite

Summary: Sabrina brings Nick back from hell. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 10/11/2019

43. “The Open Road”

Author: paradiamond

Summary: Nick wants her back, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes. In fact, he insists on it. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/22/2019

44. “The words “I love you” aren’t enough”

Author: Miss_Kath90

Summary: “Look at me, Nick” he was reluctant but when he finally looked up she took his face in her hands making him unable to look away “What you did that day… Nick, you sacrificed yourself for my sake, even when I mistreated you and told you all those horrible things. You did it for me, because you love me… Don’t you see? You’re incapable of being evil.”Or... Sabrina gets her boyfriend back but things don’t go as smoothly as she thinks they will. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/22/2019

45. “Mission: Let’s get my boyfriend back”

Author: My_Evak_Heart

Summary: Sabrina and the Fright Club ventures on their first mission: getting Nick back from Hell Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/7/2019

46. “Jealousy is a killer”

Author: Melissa1226

Summary: Will Sabrina and Nick Start something new? and who is watching them from the shadow full of jealousy? Rated Mature - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/28/2019

47. “The Jock”

Author: mikaila_ealum

Summary: An Alternate Universe where Nicholas Scratch is Baxter High’s quarterback along with one of the most popular boys at school. With few knowing the truth, Scratch is living a double life as a warlock at the Academy of Unseen Arts. Sabrina takes a hiatus from the Academy to get more in touch with her mortal side. When Sabrina gets back she becomes partners with Nicholas for a project in theatre class. AU - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/07/2019

48. “act 5, scene 2 (thou and i are too wise to woo peaceably)”

Author: ghostemo aka @wickedscratch

Summary: When Sabrina Spellman rose to a challenge issued by Prudence Night, she never imagined she’d actually make the varsity cheer squad - or that doing so would upend life as she knew it. Now she has to navigate her new role within the social hierarchy of hell -er Baxter High as well as trying to get her boyfriend to actually communicate. It certainly doesn’t help that she’s been paired up with the annoyingly handsome Nicholas Scratch, captain of Greendale’s beloved football team, for a project in her theater class. It’s exactly as, if not more so, cliche as it sounds. AU/AH - Rated T - Chapters 3/? - 7/25/2019

49. “Off the Record”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: AU. Detective Nicholas Scratch left New York for Greendale in desperate need of a change of scenery. The small town takes some getting used to, but local reporter Sabrina Spellman quickly grabs his attention. It's the fresh start he needed until Greendale's residents start turning up dead. With a murderer on the loose, no one is innocent - and anyone might be next. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 29/29 - COMPLETED 7/22/2019

50. “Bring You Close To Me”

Author: BridgetMcKennitt

Summary: Sabrina and her friends managed to bring Nicholas back from Hell. There was a lot the two of them needed to discuss, but tonight, they had this. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 7/13/2019

51. “A Brief Moment”

Author: bunivy aka @bunivys

Summary: Ever since he's returned from Hell, Nicholas Scratch has been having nightmares. With help from Aunt Hilda, Sabrina unknowingly shows him a light and for a moment, Nicholas knows everything will be okay. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 6/24/2019

52. “To Hell and Back”

Author: swtnerdgirl

Summary: A year has passed since Sabrina and her friends rescued Nick from Hell. No one came back the same. They all had their scars. Some emotionally. Some physically. In the days leading to Hilda's wedding, they all prepare for their lives to change and heal their wounds. Rated Mature - Chapters 16/? - Last Update 6/06/2019

53. “Dead Witch Walking”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch

Summary: Faced with the possibility of being harrowed to death by her classmates, Sabrina finds an escape. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/26/2019

54. “Moonlight Beneath Rough Lips”

Author: ivylikeveins

Summary: After the encounter with the thirteen witches of Greendale, Sabrina enters the dining hall with moonlight locks bathed in soft blue hues, and Nick does not know what to do. He ends up with a soft and small Sabrina pressed into his chest, sleeping, and wrapped around his very much over-sized jacket with Nick's lips pressed into the soft, pearly strands he wants his soul to get entangled within. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/19/2019

55. “The Hunt”

Author: OnlyInAutumn

Summary: Nick howled into the night, up at the stars to signify that he was ready on the eve of Lupercalia, the darkness of midnight around them. The first sound of the horn sent them into the forest. The hunt had begun. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/11/2019

56. “Secrets, Secrets are no Fun”

Author: filmharlot

Summary: Sabrina is the new kid for the first time in her life. Choosing to go to the Academy full-time seems to be a hard transition than she was expecting. With the Weird Sisters harassment at an all-time high, dealing with leaving her mortal friend's and condescending teachers, Sabrina is suffering. She's not even allowed to have Salem for comfort. It's not all bad though. She is finally free to do magic whenever she wants, and there's a charming warlock who is being particularly nice to her. Plus, someone is leaving kind gifts on her bed at the end of the night. She just wishes she knew who it was. Not Rated - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 5/06/2019

57. “Unsettled Nighttime Creatures”

Author: mindlesshappy

Summary: We all know Sabrina is going to save Nick. This is how Nick reacts to being saved - which, spoilers alert - is like a very stupid warlock. Rated T - Chapters 5/5 - Completed 4/25/2019

58. “Selfless”

Author: sarahwut

Summary: Sabrina Spellman dragged Nicholas Scratch back from Hell. But Hell might be better than a world in which they aren't together. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Completed 4/23/2019

59. “Homecoming”

Author: cherrystems

Summary: After several months Sabrina is able to get Nick back from Hell with the help of her family and friends. However, Nick has to adjust to Earth again while dealing with PTSD and anxiety. This tells the story of the growth of Sabrina and Nick's relationship over the recovery time. Not Rated - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 4/20/2019

60. “Under Your Spell”

Author: londonmarie

Summary: Sabrina doesn't hesitate to have her Dark Baptism and things go differently. Rated T - Chapters 10/? - Last Update 4/18/2019

61. “Photographs”

Author: Greyowl9831

Summary: It's been at least 150 years since Sabrina signed her name in the Book of the Beast. One day she finds an old photo album. Will the memories it contains be a great walk down memory lane or will it be more than she can bare? Not Rated - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 4/14/2019

62. “An itch That Needed Scratching”

Author: umbrellacorp

Summary: What if Nick slayed his familiar and Sabrina and Nick got to experience the last night of the Lupercalia festival alone. Tonight, Sabrina would be transformed. Nick was going to show her power that she never knew she had, an innate carnal power. They were about to become the most powerful union of the Church of Night. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 4/13/2019

63. “and I keep waiting (but I won’t say I’m waiting)”

Author: lost_n_stereo @lost-n-stereo

Summary: You would think that it would hurt less as the days go by, since it’s been nearly two years since Nick sacrificed himself for the greater good and Lilith took him to hell. Except, he didn’t sacrifice himself for the greater good, he sacrificed himself for her. And that makes it a hell of a lot tougher to let go. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 4/10/2019

64. “Fire”

Author: OnlyInAutumn

Summary: Their power—together—was overwhelming. It was something that she had not felt either, the consuming feeling of expanding power. It was entirely addicting. Rated Mature - Chapters 2/2 - Completed 3/24/2019

65. “something I can believe”

Author: Anry

Summary: Missing scene after Sabrina's baptism. I wouldn't say that it's really a relationship here, just conversation. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 1/25/2019

AND THERE YOU GO!!!! Have fun everyone, if I missed any Fics or you have any recommendations for the list message me or send in a ask and I’ll add it to the list. Hopefully by the time you’ve checked out some of these stories we will finally know something about Part 4. 

[goldleafacrossyourlips]

Uneasy Lies the Head - CAOS - Dark Lord/OC - Chapter 9

Chapters - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13

Chapter 9 - Honeysuckle and Soaks

If someone would have told Samara a year ago that she’d lose her magick, regain it by eating a Mandrake’s heart and learn that she was destined to be the Dark Lord’s Queen, she would’ve laughed herself sick and then sent that person to have their psyche checked. Yet, there she was, following her cousins and their friends, leaving behind the quickly decaying body of her Mandrake after having heard the prophecy was in motion. Samara nearly scoffed to herself about how unbelievable it all was but when had Spellmans ever lived through normalcy. Still, all this was insane! 

She could feel it though. Or rather, she supposed Him. Lightning still struck above but it was nothing compared to the electricity she could feel buzzing through the air. It seemed even the Earth knew what was happening. The Dark Lord had surfaced. She could tell. The way the world seemed to slow and tremble. The critters they passed in the forest were hiding and not because strangers were walking near their homes, but rather they could feel the power that had just emerged. 

“Aunt Hilda.” Sabrina called out as the group finally reached the Spellman house. Samara was the last to enter the kitchen, bringing up the rear of them. She was too busy reassuring her Shadows that she was okay, as well as sensing the changes the Earth was going through with the Dark Lord now walking upon it.

“And where have you been all night?” Aunt Zelda’s voice was sharp. Samara looked up and greedily took in the sight of her hard-headed Aunt. Perhaps she could help her make sense of all of this. She was relieved to see her, after hearing that she’d been placed under a housewife spell. The knowledge of that just made Samara hate Blackwood even more.

“Aunt Zelda.” Sabrina continued to march towards their Aunts. Aunt Hilda was sitting down, concern written across her face. Aunt Zelda as always was puffing away at a cigarette, her nerves clear to see.

“Do you have any idea what’s going on, Sabrina? The trouble we’re in?” Aunt Zelda stressed, leaning towards the group. Samara weaved around the group until she was sitting across from Aunt Hilda and served herself some tea. She shot a soft grin towards her Aunts. Yet she was ignored as Sabrina continued to speak.

“Aunt Hilda, Aunt Zelda, listen to me for one second.” Their Aunt’s heads tilted towards Sabrina, showing their willingness to listen. Samara stirred in the sugar to her tea, snagging a sweet from Aunt Hilda’s plate. Not like she’d notice.

“Ms. Wardwell manipulated us into fulfilling a prophecy. One that’s meant to bring about the end of the world.” Sabrina’s words were quickly delivered and breathless. Samara nearly chuckled at her Aunt Zelda’s eye roll but resolved not to from the tension in the air. “Because of us, the Dark Lord has assumed His original form and is somewhere in Greendale. And the Gates of Hell are going to open, releasing the hordes of Hell.” 

“Sorry, all this is--This is all happening now?” Aunt Hilda’s shaky question filled the silence, her eyes wide and mouth hanging. Samara peered at her over the rim of her teacup as she took a sip.

“Now or very soon.” Sabrina’s tone was very stressed. Samara leaned back and let Sabrina and the others fill her Aunt’s in on what was going on. Now that she had her magick back, she didn’t really care what was going on. She wanted answers of course, but her cousin’s panic wasn’t a priority to her at the moment. Honestly, she was still quite peeved off about the whole Mandrake business.

“According to the prophecy I found, His plan is to enslave the tribes of human and witch-kind, and to rule over everything with His demon army.” Nick revealed, stepping to Sabrina’s side. Samara could practically feel the shock and worry radiating from her Aunties, like storm clouds.

“There’s more. Sabrina created a Mandrake that’s absorbed her witch powers. Which created a Mandrake of Samara that absorbed her powers as well.” Ambrose butted in. Samara almost huffed at her cousins not noticing that she was well and fully powered. Still she remained silent, a deeper part of her enjoying the chaos that was rolling through the room.

“All of them?” Aunt Hilda’s voice barely hid her despair.

“And that’s not even the worst of it.” Sabrina continued to hammer on. Her Aunts were instantly groaning.

“What’s worse than you being mortal?” Aunt Zelda spat. Samara hummed. She knew out of the entire family, Aunt Zelda would be the worst one to react to Sabrina’s newfound mortality. Sabrina remained tightlipped for a moment but before she could respond, Ambrose spoke for her.

“She is to be the Sword of the Dark Lord and enact His will. And Samara…..” Ambrose trailed off. The room’s attention shifted to the girl in mention. Samara had her teacup raised to her lips and was taking a sip. She peered at her Aunt’s as she did so.

“And Samara what?” Aunt Zelda spat out, her hands and jaw clenched. Samara delicately set her teacup down.

“And apparently I am to rule by His side, as Queen. Oh, and I’m not mortal. I bit the heart out of my Mandrake and gained my powers back. So all good on that front.” She said lightly in opposition to how her Aunts reacted.

“How? Wh- Over my dead body. You’re both too young.” Samara felt like a cat that was being brushed the wrong way. Spikes trickled up her spine at her Aunt Zelda’s words.

“You’ll stand against the Dark Lord then, Auntie.” Ambrose’s voice was hopeful. Samara’s fists turned knuckle white on top of the table.

“To defend my nieces? Certainly. Family comes first. And the Dark Lord is not without His aversions.” Aunt Zelda’s words rang with newfound determination.

“Iron Spikes.” 

“Onions.” Aunt Hilda supplied, staring at Samara from across the table. Samara kept her eyes downcast, her teacup rattling softly from where it sat in it’s saucer. She shouldn’t be this upset with her family attempting to protect her. But their words against the Dark Lord filled her with rage. Why? 

Distantly she heard as her Aunt Zelda continued to bark orders on how to protect the house, but her mind was miles away. Why was she so angry with her family? Why did the thought of staying separate from the Dark Lord send a pang through her chest? In an even more private place in her head she asked the question she was most concerned with. Why did the thought of being His Queen appeal to her so much? She wanted answers. And she wanted them now.

“Samara?” A hand covered her still tightly furled fist. She forced it to relax and took a deep breath as she looked up into the concerned faces of her Aunts. 

“I know this is scary, but we aren’t going to let Him have you two. Don’t be afraid, my love.” Aunt Hilda assured her, squeezing the hand she held. Aunt Zelda hummed in agreement. Samara felt a frown curl on her face.

“But I’m not scared. That’s the thing. I’m confused. I have so many questions. And I want the answers, now.” Samara said, her Shadows flickered in the corners of her vision. Her Aunt's casted looks at her full of pity. Samara felt irritation lick up her spine. She looked away from them and screwed her eyes closed.

“What’s even worse is that, a part of me. A rather large part of me, wants him, that, something. I don’t know! All I know is, is that the thought of staying apart from him hurts. I have to figure out what’s going on. I don’t know who I have to talk to but I need to talk to someone with answers. You know as well as I that you can put up as much iron as you want, he’s still going to come. And I want answers by the time he gets here. Excuse me as I make a few calls to some of my clients.” Samara ground out before shoving away from the table and stalked up to her room. Her Aunts were frozen where they were, shocked by her outburst.

Samara threw herself down into the seat of her vanity. The sight that met her in the mirror shocked her. She was a mess. Her hair was a frizzy heap, no doubt due to the electricity in the air that night. Her clothes were disheveled and she had streaks of dirt painting her exposed skin. She heaved a sign, resting her elbows on the vanity edge and setting her head in her hands. She had a bad feeling that this was going to end in a mess. 

Peering up at her reflection once more, Samara made the decision to clean up before trying to find answers through mirror scrying her clients. Besides, a bath could help her mind kickstart into gear. She turned away from the mirror and walked to the bathroom.

She stared at the clawfoot bathtub that waited in the center of the room before shrugging her shoulders and snapped her fingers. Instantly the tub was filled with steaming hot water. At least her amped up powers were good for something. 

She turned away from the tub and began to shed her soiled clothing. Finally bare to the room, she turned back to the bath only to freeze. Where once, still, clear water filled it, now petals of honeysuckle covered the surface of the water. She slowly approached the water and peered into it. Seeing nothing nefarious hiding in the water, she dipped a finger into the hot water. After a minute of nothing happening she hummed and decided to take her chances.

As she sank into the scorching water, a deep moan escaped her. Her tense muscles relaxed as she leaned back against the wall of the tub. The pleasant scent of the flowers surrounded her and caused her to feel even more boneless. This was exactly what she needed after the events she’d had since she’d arrived at her former home. Sure, she’d taken brisk showers and baths, but it’d been a while since she’d really soaked for the pleasure of relaxing. 

She ran a finger over the top of the water, creating a break in the petals. Her mind, before seeming so frantic and spiralling, was now almost sluggish from the euphoria she was experiencing. She leaned her head back against the rim of the tub and her eyes slipped closed. 

At this point, there were two main points of actions she could take. She could either stand with her family. Help them play keep away from the Dark Lord. Help prevent the Apocalypse and find a way to send the Dark Lord back to Hell. Or. She could accept the prophecy as it was. Help the Dark Lord bring Hell on Earth. Rule over the humans and witches. And stand by His side as Queen. 

She really did love her family. They’d taken her in when she had nobody. But there had to be a reason that she was chosen to become His Queen. She was sure that was a decision not made lightly. Samara decided to not make a choice just yet, not until she knew more. 

Her eyes blinked open as a chill wracked her, not from the water cooling; which with her powers she was keeping it at a nice skin melting temperature. No, the chill was from a familiar presence rushing through her. It didn’t linger though. It shuddered through her from head to toe before departing. She looked around the room and found nothing out of place before she realized the honeysuckle petals were gone and now red tulips were in their place. She hummed as she pinched a petal between her fingers and lifted it to her eye level. She placed it against her lips and inhaled, a small smile gracing her lips at the scent and softness before she dropped it back to the water.

[krystalkoya]

Ad Hoc | 01

So I finally did it. My first published fic, hopefully it’s not as cringe as I think it is. If y’all like this let me know. I have a couple ideas for this fic that I won’t completely give up on if at least one person likes this

read on ao3! 

pairing: coworker!hoseok x reader

genre: enemies to lovers (the superior trope!), future angst, future smut (18+), humour

rating: nc17

word count: 3.1k

chapter warnings: none!

———

Summary: Landing your dream job as an advertising exec at Kim Entertainment straight out of college was nothing like you imagined. Mostly due to the fact that your college rival, Jung Hoseok, sits ten feet away from you and never misses an opportunity to make your life a living hell. When a position opens up at the firm to be chief of advertising, you jump at the opportunity, but not without having to go up against Hoseok who is also vying for the position. In a dirty game of deception and betrayal, the last thing you expect to come out of it is love.

Series Masterpost

———

Dear god if you had to sit through another minute of this goddamn staff meeting you were going to kill yourself. That is, if the meeting didn’t bore you to death first.

Ever since the company had come under new management a few months ago, the new manager, Minho, had instituted routine monthly meetings to go over the company’s goals, its relationship with clients, projected sales for the year… you know, all that business mumbo jumbo.

And that was all fine and dandy. In fact, you actually thought the meetings were beneficial… if they were being held once every few months or so, not every damn month of the year. But, like a good employee, you faithfully attended each monthly meeting just to hear that nothing had changed since the last one.

If you were being honest, you had no idea how Minho got so far in his career. He was a nice guy, too nice really, a little awkward, but absolutely no balls below the belt whatsoever. The man couldn’t even tell Barbara, the resident granny (who, frankly, was due to retire ten years ago) that she was taking too long on her breaks. And not the socially acceptable one or two minutes late but more like fifteen minute breaks becoming thirties instead.

Looking past the fact that the man seemed the type to be terrified of his own reflection, you guess you could see why corporate hired him — when it came to marketing, he knew his stuff.

Just as you were beginning to ponder what you would be having for lunch that day, a reuben from the sub shop down the street sounded nice, but then again you had been craving Mexican lately…, you suddenly felt a [not-so-light] kick to your shin.

Jerking in your seat, you looked up to see the smirking man beside you. You were about to retaliate with a scolding and an even harsher kick to the shin but before you even had a chance he was he shushing you with a finger to his plump lips, pointing in the direction of Minho to indicate that you should pay attention.

“… to conclude our meeting today, I have some good news pertaining to the advertising department.“ You perked up a little in your seat, thoroughly intrigued for the first time ever first time that day.

“Corporate wants to change things up a bit in the ad department. That’s why they told me to let you all know that a new position is opening up here to be Chief Advertising Officer. CAO if you will.”

At the silence that ensued in response to his attempt at a ‘joke’, Minho took that as his cue to explain it (which only ever makes things worse).

“Get it… CAO, like CEO and CFO. They’re… they’re acronyms.”

“We get it, it just wasn’t funny.” Calls, you guessed it, Barbara from her seat in the back. The only one bold enough to say what everyone else was thinking because she’s set for life. Minho won’t fire her, a) because of the lack of balls situation mentioned earlier, and b) out of fear of securing a lawsuit for age discrimination on their hands.

At this point, it was just better to let the old bat retire on her own terms — she only had about a year left, two tops.

Minho, poor guy, shakes his head defeatedly, ignoring Barb’s comment in favor of finishing his announcement. Chuckling awkwardly, he begins again, “Right… Ah- as I was saying, a new position is opening up to be Chief of Advertising. Corporate wants things to be a little more streamlined in the ad department. They’re thinking a head of advertising position will achieve that. Anyone can apply so if you think you have the necessary skills, by all means have at it. But unless anyone has any further comments or concerns, this meeting’s adjourned.”

Usually you’re already up and on your feet before Minho can say ‘any further questions’ but today you’re left stewing in your seat. As a member of the advertising team here at Kim Entertainment you couldn’t be happier in your current position. But now that this opportunity had been presented to you, you couldn’t turn it away. More creative freedom and a higher salary? There was no way in hell you weren’t getting this promotion.

But with opportunities always come challenges. And you don’t know how you managed to forget one of the biggest challenges standing in your way ever since you started working here a year ago.

“I actually have a question, if you don’t mind.”

God, even the sound of his voice irritates the mother-loving shit out of you.

“Yes, Hoseok, go ahead.” Minho says, slowing in his collection of the papers on his desk.

Jung. Fucking. Hoseok.

“So what differentiates the Chief of Advertising from a regular person on the ad committee? And salary? What’s that like?”

“Of course, yes the perks of the position! You can expect a higher salary. It’s not set and generally depends on your experience and skill set, but it will be higher nonetheless. But some of the other benefits more freedom to work on your own commissions or projects, and you have final say in what ideas get pushed and what doesn’t.”

Everyone and everything that stood in your way could suck your left tit as far as you were concerned — you were getting this job. And fortunately, you would get to bury Jung’s ass in the process, a win-win situation for you.

“And, the interview process. How does that work? Is it just the standard interview and a ‘Congratulations, you got the job’ or a 'Sorry, better luck next time?’ or are they looking for something more?” He asks, arms folded and leaning back in his chair, his head tilted slightly in inquiry.

Despite not wanting to admit it, the man did ask good questions. You had been wondering this yourself.

“Oh! How could I forget! Yes there’s going to be a standard interview but in addition to that they also want to see an example of your own work. A personal project, if you will.”

A personal project? So in other words, they want to see what you can do when you are given full creative control over a project. This works out great because this has been exactly what you wanted to do for a while now. You couldn’t wait until the members of your team let you take the reigns on a project. Sure it was nice having a team to bounce ideas off of but sometimes, the feeling of being shot down for an idea you felt strongly for was disheartening.

“Come see me in my office so I can give you the full rundown of what corporate expects to see from you for this position.” He says looking at Hoseok before adding, “And that goes for anyone else who plans on applying. But for now, meeting adjourned. Let’s keep up the good work guys. I like what I’m seeing, great improvement from last month.”

Literally nothing had changed from last month, but that is the last thing on your mind right now, as it is too preoccupied with figuring out what you are going to do for your personal project. And also, how you are going to make it better than Hoseok’s as he is clearly also interested in the position.

As everyone begins to file out of the conference room, some chatting excitedly with each other, others uninterested in a job offer that has nothing to do with them, you follow suit. As you make the trek back to your desk, a pep in your step while you run over all the possible ideas you have for your personal project, Park Jimin falls into step with you.

He bumps his shoulder against yours as you walk, alerting you of his presence, rather violently, you might add.

“Big opportunity right? I have no doubt you’re applying for it. Or am I wrong?”

You give him a look. “You bet your cute ass I’m applying. I’d be an idiot to pass up this opportunity. I just have to figure out a way to outdo that asshole Hoseok and I’m set.”

Jimin flashes you a grin saying, “Aww, you think my ass is cute?” He briefly glances back at his derriere, giving himself a pleased smile before he turns back to you. “I’ve been doing this new thing where I incorporate squats into my workouts. They’re killer on leg day but I guess they’re finally paying off. Anyways, what have you got against that guy? Seriously, he’s not a bad dude from what I can tell.”

“Yeah, to you maybe!” you exclaim.

By this time you have reached the break room and Jimin reaches for the coffee pot to pour himself a mug while you watch him, thoroughly annoyed with the direction the conversation has taken. He offers you a cup but you shake your head, leaning against the counter with a sigh.

“Him and I… we have history. Goes back to my college days and I’d rather not relive those thank you very much.”

Jimin turns around to face you, leaning his back against the counter as well as he takes a sip of his coffee. You giggle when he grimaces, presumably because he forgot to add in the appropriate amount of sugar and creamer to the bitter cup of black coffee.

His next statement, however, wipes the grin right off your face.

“Ooh, a romantic tragedy. Tell me more. What, did he dump you for another girl and now you’ve got some sort of vendetta against him? Spicy. Tell me more.”

“What? No! Absolutely not. First of all, I’ve never dated nor will I ever date that asshole. And second of all, why couldn’t I have been the one dumping him?”

Jimin shrugs, muttering into his mug as he takes a sip, “I guess it could’ve gone that way too. But it’s easier to imagine him dumping you because… and don’t take this the wrong way… you’re you.”

Okay ouch. You’re offended to say the least. “And what is that supposed to mean?!?” You explode. You were doing that a lot today. Jimin must be in the mood for mischief.

“I tell her not to take it the wrong way and what does she do, she takes it the wrong way,” he mutters into his coffee mug, almost as if he’s talking more to himself than to you.

“Listen, no offense, but you didn’t seem like the type to be popular throughout college, or high school, or… at all really. You’ve got this quirky, kinda awkward, vibe going on with you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute but you don’t strike me as the type to be the ‘life of the party’.” Despite the fact that you’re glaring daggers into the side of his head right now, he elaborates. Unfortunately for you (and fortunately for Jimin), looks can’t kill.

“…Hoseok on the other hand radiates 'I was popular my entire life’ type of energy. I was thinking maybe you two hooked up or even dated for a bit but he dumped you to avoid jeopardizing his social status. Again, no offense to you or anything. If anything I’m offending him, because he was the asshole in this hypothetical situation.“

"You’ve put lots of thought into this haven’t you?” You say incredulously, truly astounded by how elaborate his story is.

Jimin takes a sip of his coffee (now appropriately sweetened) and sighs dramatically. “Sadly, yes. I’m afraid it’s kept me up into the wee hours of the morning for several nights now. So please, do me a favor and tell me what happened. I’m right aren’t I?”

Try as you might to deny it Jimin was right. At least partially. The part about about you and Hoseok dating or hooking up or whatever definitely wasn’t true, but is is true that the two of you ran in different social circles. You were more likely to be caught with your head in a textbook than at a party, where Hoseok seemed to have spent at least 40% of his time in college.

With a sigh you relent, dropping your guarded stance and admitting your defeat.

"Ok, fine, you might be onto something.” Jimin’s eyes widen excitedly and you’re quick to elaborate before he can get anymore ideas.

“Hoseok and I were never together in any way, thank god, but it is true that we were at completely separate ends of the social spectrum.”

Jimin smirks proudly but you pointedly ignore him.

“And… there was a brief moment in time where we were actually friends, or acquaintances, I guess? But that didn’t last long.”

“Friends? The two of you?”

“Very briefly. We stopped being friends when I found out he was a gigantic asshole. But I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s get back to talking about that promotion. I was thinking– ”

“Promotion? You mean the one I’m going to get?”

At the sound of a voice that didn’t come from one of the two of you, you and Jimin snap your head around to see Hoseok standing near the doorway of the breakroom.

Unfortunately for you the universe had not answered your calls for a stress free day void of having to interact with the devil in a suit standing a couple feet away from you. Better luck tomorrow.

“Ew, have you just been standing there like a creep listening to our conversation this entire time?” you scowl out at him.

Hoseok shakes his head, hands in his pants pockets and a sly smirk on his face as approaches. He walks past the both of you, not paying you any mind, as he stops at the coffee machine and pours himself a cup.

“No. Trust me, I have better things to do than eavesdrop on your conversations. I just happened to come in and I heard the two of you talking about the new job offer opening up.” He’s not even looking at you, the pretentious prick, too focused on stirring in the appropriate amount of creamer into his cup.

“Want some advice?”

“I don’t ” you bite back.

He ignores you. “Hey, I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want you to get your feelings hurt when I get the job so I wouldn’t even bother applying if I were you.”

He’s still stirring that stupid cup of coffee and the fact that he’s not even looking at you while he insults you, like you’re not even worth the time of day, is extremely infuriating.

At this point you are seething, but you try your very best to not to go off on him as much as you want to. Working with him on a daily was already difficult but now that you two are vying for the same position? Oh, things are only about to get a hell of a lot worse.

“Thanks for your concern, but if you’re so sure that you’ve got this job already then you won’t mind if I go ahead and apply then. Since you don’t consider me to be any competition then it should be fine, right? Or did I read this all wrong and you’re actually worried I might get the job over you?”

Finally finished meddling with his coffee, he licks the red stirrer clean with his tongue and discards it with a flick into the trash can nearby. Mug in hand he spins around and leans against the counter, flashing a smug grin your way. And you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t affect you at least a smidgen. His smile was stunning, smugness to it and all. So what, he’s attractive. You still hated the man’s guts.

“I tried to warn you so I don’t wanna see any tears when I get it. But I suggest you get used to calling me 'Chief’ from now on. Has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?”

And before you can respond he’s already brushing past you and heading back to his desk, no doubt thoroughly enjoying the fact that he got the last word in while you’re left to gape like a fish out of water.

There’s a moment of silence while Jimin just stares at you seething at Hoseok’s retreating form disappearing into the main room. You almost forgot he was there at all until he finally speaks.

“God, the sexual tension between you two is strong. Can’t you guys just fuck already and end… whatever this is…?”

“Jimin!” you exclaim at him. “What you just witnessed was not sexual tension. It was just passionate mutual hate for each other.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

“You know what, fuck you.”

Jimin’s airy laugh floods your hearing and you wonder not for the first time how someone so mischievous could look so innocent.

“Listen, I just need your support with this, can I trust you to give me that?”

“Right, about that. I was thinking of applying for the position too.”

You give him an incredulous look. He can’t be serious.

“Jimin, you’re in accounting.”

“So? You heard the boss man. He said anyone could apply!”

“Yes, anyone with the right credentials. Do you have a degree in marketing or advertising or any other remotely related field? No you don’t. Come on Jimin, I don’t have time for this right now. I’ve already got enough on my plate dealing with Hoseok, I don’t need to add you to the mix.”

“Relax, I’m just kidding. My department can’t lose me. I’m the best accountant they have. And trust me, you have my full support. I have no doubt you’ll get the job.”

You give Jimin a bright smile and thank him dearly. Despite being a pain in your ass at times, he really was a great coworker and friend at that. He’s one of the few people always reassuring you when you’re nervous about a pitch or an idea you have in mind.

Still, you couldn’t help but feel apprehensive. You hated to admit it but Hoseok was good at his job. If there was anyone who could beat you out of this promotion it was him, not to mention you have no idea who else was considering applying for the position as well. But you were determined. You had to get this job. And you’d bury Hoseok and whoever else decided to go up against you to get it. But first things first… you needed a project idea.

[ladiesandwitches]

// I followed for turning red but your blog got me interested in sabrina, do you think its a good watch? i’m a big lover of supernatural media.

Okay, firstly I am loving the side effect of my blog getting you interested in Sabrina.

Secondly, this is an entirely personal answer, as the show is one of those that does divide opinions.

I freaking love CAOS. It's my favourite show, like it's a comfort show, that I can just put on and it has this beautiful aesthetic, and there are these wonderful characters that I just adore, and these storylines that echo the Buffy era of teen-in-supernatural-repeat-apocalypse, but with strong influence from real mythology (and as someone who comes from a witchy family, there was a surprising amount of accuracy and relatability for something fictional). We have amazing fleshed-out storylines for women in their fifties, and it's one of the few shows with a teen lead where the adults get as much of an in depth story arc (as well as sex, relationships and complications) as the younger cast members.

My favourite character is Lilith and the fact they show her journey from abuse victim perpetuating the abuse cycle herself to someone finally recognising abuse is not love and standing up and facing her abuser even though it terrifies her, and becoming stronger for it is amazing (Don't worry; I haven't spoiled anything there, as I didn't go into specifics, and also it's kinda obvious from the beginning that that's the direction her particular storyline is going to go in). It's something I've never seen done so in depth before, or so honestly, and certainly not for a character played by a woman in her 50s.

The type of witches they are and who they worship changes throughout the series due to events that happen, but it does start by both portraying the witches as exactly how puritans believed them to be (even using their terms such as Black Mass), and at the same time turning it on its head. It also uses the witch's satanic church to poke a lot of fun and holes at the catholic church which I do immensely enjoy, haha.

If you love witchy shows, and you like seeing twists on old mythology, new takes on demons, and fictional magic that feels more real than fantastical for once, and stories showing how unchecked misogyny can lead to very real violent consequences, and has all the women characters being the most powerful and constantly proving that, and if you like the idea of a show that says 'Yeah there may be villains and demons and apocalypses, but the real big bad is misogynistic organised religion, no matter whose religion it is', then yeah I'd say you'd like it.

I also like that even though Sabrina can be self-entitled and arrogant, and very much a walking example of 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions', the show doesn't condone her; we, as an audience, are meant to get irritated with her, and other characters call her out on her behaviour. Which I think is rare for a show with a teen lead. The show also covers more topics than you would expect from a teen witch show.

But the dynamics in the show are wonderful and so complicated yet beautiful, and Zelda and Lilith will each break your hearts with their respective crying scenes.

Like I said though, this is my personal opinion; there are storylines I love that others don't, and I read into things differently than others might, and some people don't like the same characters I do. So it is all down to personal opinion, but for me I'd recommend the show to anyone. But I'd maybe warn them about the Feast of Feasts with the cannibalism, haha.

Personally though, I think there’s characters for everyone in this show, and storylines for everyone. 

[imagine-that-one-thing]

Styles Towers. || 18

Authors Note: With the Book coming to an end, I feel it is necessary to take a moment to write a proper authors Note. So here I go. This book started off as a ten chapter CEO fanfic that I had no intentions of attaching too or writing to this extent. On 08 DEC 2016, I posted the first chapter and I had no damn clue that just over a year later I would have turned that 10 chapter idea into two books- 39 chapters. I don't know how or why I got so attached to these two characters, I still have no idea how I came up with half the ideas that I did. This writing has gotten me through another year, it has gotten me through some hard times and some freaking amazing times. In a non-cliche way, this novel became my safe haven and now that it is over, I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I didn't think it would be this hard to finish this, and I don't mean to sound dramatic but this is quite literally a piece of me. This became my heart and soul, it is my little baby I have cherished and grown and it is now leaving the nest, in a sense. Maybe one day I will open this book back up, make some edits and maybe even continue it fully somehow into the rest of their lives, but until then, all I have left are the small blurbs about these characters I post to Tumblr. I hope you guys have relished the journey of these characters and have enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it. Thank you to everyone that has read this and to those who have waited through the dry periods of me not posting for a few weeks and suddenly posting. Thank you for being patient and understanding. And a special thank you to my mutuals that have helped me edit chapters and allowed me to bounce ideas off of them at an ungodly hour. I am so sorry for the 3 am messages, but I promise it was well worth it. :') Thanks again, all the love - N :) Xx (There will be an Epilogue).

Master List

What a wonderful world.

February 14th, 2022.

Belatedly, Harry and I have managed to obtain common ground— after he was released from the Hospital right before Christmas— we came to a union: Harry keeps the business on the condition his hours are limited, there are no more secrets or skeletons in the closet and he takes the time to listen when I try to help him, (more so when it comes to him overworking and ruining himself) and will adjust his schedule when the baby arrives.

To say the least, we have been amply great the weeks leading up to today; Harry has been cooperating with physical therapy, he has his moments where he struggles with everything. There are some nights he doesn’t sleep because of the constant repressed memories that eat him alive from his childhood and leading up to now. There have been times we have had to leave restaurants or certain places because the crowds or certain sounds trigger him. Sometimes I have woken him from nightmares that have left him drenched in sweat and with ragged breaths. Although he has his bad days, he also has his good where the caring, loving man I fell in love with makes an appearance. As for business, Harry is discovering how to draw a line between work and business and most of all he is transforming back to the man I used to know. As for me, well, my only significant job has been to continue growing our child, Harry's words, not mine, and my job has been to help and support Harry through all this. Harry has been hesitant about enabling me to put in hours at work but hasn't had much of a choice than to just bite his tongue and get over it.

It turns out I am just like Harry; I have to always be doing something. I can't sit down and watch Netflix for too long— I go stir crazy— I guess Harry rubbed off on me.

I feel the sheets of the bed shift effortlessly and my lips curve into a smile— Harry’s awake. I observe his body warmth inching closer before his lips caress to the side of my cheek, “good morning, darling.” His voice is delicate and sweet before he settles back to his side of the bed and lets out a heavy sigh.

“Good morning, what time is it?”

“It’s time for me to get up and get dressed.” … “How long have you been awake?”

I cock my head to my right shoulder and look at Harry, “jus’ woke up.”

Harry chuckles modestly to himself before he props himself up on his side with a slight wince, “Sweetheart, I know that is a lie.”

“Just an hour, do you need me today?”

“Always need ya,” Harry responds before he leans closer and kisses me gently before he, once again, removes his lips and shifts in the bed to launch himself to his feet.

I shift my own position and relax my back on the headrest, watching as Harry shuffles his way to the wardrobe and clasps his hand to the doorknob. “I meant at work. Any CAO duties that need taking care of?”

Harry overlooks my question and draws out a button up and his suit pants, “I have a meeting at eight and nine and we have one at eleven and then I am just doing paperwork, I was thinking we could go out for dinner?”

“Oh, so you remember what today is?” I challenge.

“Today is Monday.”

I raise a brow but I decide to disregard the fact he appears to have forgotten today is Valentine's day, I can’t really blame him, we agreed not to go overboard with Valentine's Day, mainly it was my idea when I was having quite the mood swing.

Harry and I waste no time with getting ready and hurrying around the house for last minute things.

“Elise, come on, we’re going to be late,” Harry’s voice echoes the hallways.

“Give me a minute, damn.”

“You’ve had thirty, let’s go,” Harry mutters, hurrying me out the door and grabbing my coat for me, being too impatient to wait another minute.

“Why are you pissy this morning? You were fine in bed.”

Harry sighs as he presses the button to unlock his car, “jus’ stressed and my fucking wound hurts like a bitch–ignore me being a prick.”

“I had planned too,” I respond, wandering to the passenger seat of the car as he mutters something under his breath.

***

“What’s wrong?” Harry questions as his eyes are focused on the road, his left hand clutching his coffee. “I can see you from the corner of my eye,” he informs me, shifting to glance at me for a brief moment before he’s back to the road.

“I don’t really know.”

“You don’t know what’s wrong and why you’re squirming in your seat like a child who can’t keep still?” Harry questions, taking a sip of his coffee before setting it back down in the cup holder.

“I’m nauseous.”

“That’s fucking great, just when we have an important meeting,” he murmurs, not being sympathetic in the slightest way, “do you need me to take you back home?”

“No, but thank you for being incredibly sweet.” I sneeringly respond, leaning my head against the window as the car comes to a stop, early morning traffic coming to a standstill.

I overhear him groan before I sense his hand press against my thigh, without much thought, I brush it away from me, “Elle, I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Is it the coffee? Do you want me to throw it out?” He offers, keeping his voice pleasant and patient.

“No.”

“Don’t be mad.”

“Sorry, I’m a bit irritated that you act like I’m a burden to you. ‘That’s fucking great’” I mimic his voice, glaring over at him as he laments.

“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

“Just drive, Harry. You have an important meeting to get to."

"Are we going to argue about this?" Harry challenges, leaning back and closing eyes for a moment.

We aren't going anywhere for a while in this traffic.

"We wouldn't need to argue if you weren't an arse. Good to know you still haven't learned your lesson," I grumble, hitting a nerve with him as I perceive his scintillating, loam-grey eyes sear into me as I lean back against the window.

"Oh, no. Don't try to pull that card," he shakes his head, "I put my life on the damn line and regret that night, trust me, I learned a fucking lesson."

"Clearly."

"Did you just wake up and decide you aspired to be pissy? For fuck's sake Elise, what is your bloody problem?"

"You just dismissed me as a burden because WE have an important business meeting. Again, I am second and your business is first."

He operates his fingers through his curls that are just starting to curl at the ends and he takes a deep breath, "should have gone with Logan, dammit," he grunts and I glare at him before I swat his chest, a groan escaping his lips.  "I deserved that," Harry acknowledges with a dainty grin, "damn you have a hard hit, taught you well."

"Harry-" I roll my eyes, bothered with my husband that despite being an arse, I love more than anything. Nearly losing him twice almost destroyed me, and I know he doesn't mean it when he utters things similar to, 'I should have gone with Logan.' I know that it is part of his coping mechanism but it dawns on me every day that fate was on our side twice and granted him enough strength to be waking up beside me every morning.

He takes a breath, "I'm sorry but in my defence-" He clears his throat as I narrow my eyes at him and raise a brow, "fuck... I am sorry, I love you more than anything, I am an arse," he shrugs, "but I still love you and you still love me and that is all that matters."

"Smooth, real smooth."

"I know," he winks, "care to give me a kiss?"

"Not really, still upset with you."

"Oh, come on, darling, just a small kiss... I'm sorry, don't leave me hanging," he purses his lips for a kiss, leaning over to me with his hand on the steering wheel and his foot still on the break.

I sigh and giggle, unable to resist his charming enchanting, clay-grey eyes with his pursing lips. I kiss his lips lightly, "I love you," I mumble against his lips.

He pulls away and looks towards the traffic, "we're going to be here a while, this is why I hate not using my driver."

"And why didn't you use him this morning?"

Harry shrugs, "for some reason I felt like driving, I now regret it. How are you feeling?"

"The same, are you ready for the meetings?" I question, starting a very long conversation with him over his meetings to keep us occupied while stuck in the traffic.

*** ***

The moment we step into Styles Headquarters, Niall is there pacing up and down the waiting area of the elevators. I am surprised he hasn't worn the flooring thin, between him and Harry, I am not sure who is worse with pacing various domains of this building. He flicks his head towards us the second he overhears my shoes sounding against the marble floor. "Niall, mate, you look like you're about to have kittens, what's goin' on?" Harry questions as he stands behind me, his hands drawing my coat off my shoulders and down my arms before folding it over his arm and enveloping his other arm around me and stepping beside me.

"Business or personal first?"

"Business," Harry responds as I look up to see the elevator numbers descending.

"Anastasia is upstairs."

"Well yes, I would assume so considering she didn't call out and this is her work place, Niall." Harry comments as we step into the elevator and Niall follows before pressing the button to the floor we need to go to.

"Yeah, but I forgot what today is and I don't have anything planned, didn't even get flowers."

"Seems like someone else I know," I mutter, gently nudging Harry, reminding him that he seems to have forgotten that today is Valentine's Day.

Harry ignores my comment and my nudge as he looks towards Niall, "well, you're shit out of luck, ain't yeh mate?"

"I was hoping you would have some advice like you always do when I fuck up."

"Try and find reservations to a nice restaurant, if that doesn't work, cook something at home and do something romantic." ... "After our meetings or during lunch, go out and buy some bloody roses or whatever flowers she fancies, add some chocolate or wine, or buy her diamonds, every lady loves diamonds, but don't forget that this isn't about what you buy her, it is about loving each other... and no, I am not just saying that because Elise is right here listening to me," Harry informs Niall just as the elevator doors open.

"Niall, bring her lunch with flowers that way if you can't think of anything romantic for later, you at least tried with lunch," I pipe in before I step out in front of the two men and the two of them talk amongst themselves while I stride to my office. I push open my door and suddenly, I am the arse of the morning. My eyes scan my office that has multiple bouquets of roses adorned around it. My lips curve up into a smile as I shuffle closer and breathe in the scent of the roses.

"Didn't think I would really forget, did yeh?" Harry's voice distracts me and I turn on my heel to face him while he wanders closer to me.

"Kinda," I nod, "thank you for being sweet."

"You're welcome," he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him, his hands falling to the small of my back, "I love you. I don't say this a lot but I am so thankful for yeh, you're the best thing to happen to me, you're my safe haven. I love you more than I am capable of expressing, no amount of roses, diamonds or any gift expresses how much I love you. Promise me one thing?"

"What's that?" I softly ask, caressing my hands to his chest, my fingertips welcoming the delicate silk of his shirt.

"Never leave me, love yeh too much."

"I promise, you kinda tied me down," I wink, holding up my left hand, "this ring kinda promises that, darling." I show him my engagement ring and wedding band. "If I haven't left after seven years of dating and nearly a year of marriage, I think I'm good," I assure Harry, leaning up and kissing him gently.

"Mhm, good. I have to get to my first meeting," he mumbles between kisses and his stubble rubs against my lips.

I press my hand to rub against his dark stubble, "you need to shave,"

He laughs, "I would have this morning, but someone, not naming any names, took too long in the bathroom getting ready."

"Hey," I benevolently press my lips against his, "it takes time to look like this."

"Sweetheart, you're beautiful either way. I will talk to you later."

"Mhm, go kick ass in the meeting."

He winks, "I plan to," Harry chuckles before he unwraps his arms from me and proceeds his way out of my office, leaving me solely with my roses and the collection of work he has for me.

*** ***

Niall wanders into my office with that adoring smile of his and bright nautical-blue eyes. “You don’t look cheery,” he instantly comments, “who’s ass am I kicking? And if it’s Harry’s, I can’t do it.” Niall snickers and I shake my head at him, lifting my head off of the palm of my hand and straightening my posture.

“What’s up, Niall? What do I owe this visit? Bring me flowers?” I joke.

“Ah, very funny... Think you have enough," he gestures towards my array of roses, "Ye' husband out here making me look like a slacker... Anyway, James fucked up on his work and I was wondering if you could fix it?” He grants me that friendly smile of his he uses when he wants me to do something.

I heavily sigh and screw up my nose, not fond of the thought of doing extra work, “Why can’t Harry fix it?”

“Eh… he’s in a shitty mood, I feel bad Fo’ James because it’s his second day and doesn’t need pissy Harry in his case.”

I nod, agreeing with him, “he’s just in pain, send me the work and I will fix it.”

“Ah, that explains why he has been pacing.”

“Yeah, he can’t sit for long if he’s sore. The bloody wound is bothering him and we all get to suffer with him.” … “may his father rot in prison.” I murmur, having no remorse for the fact Harry’s father will never witness the light of day again.

“Hm, so now I know what’s up with him. What’s wrong with you? If you don’t wanna tell me, fine. But Anastasia is about to come in here and bug you because she said you’ve been in here quietly all morning.”

I sigh heavily and shrug, “I don’t feel well at all.”

“And you’re still here because?” He challenges crossing his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes in the same manner Harry does.

To a certain extent, they’re precisely alike, it’s uncanny.

“I’m sick of being at home. I’ve spent the last two months mainly at home with Harry. I loathe being home alone and bored out of my mind.” … “I have work to do. If I don’t get it done the CEO will make everyone work overtime until everything is finished.”

“I’m sure he will understand.”

“Yeah, he will understand… that’s part of the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“Harry and I overheard one of the men say Harry gives me special treatment.”

Niall laughs and I stare at him, confused as to what he finds amusing. “That’s a load of bullshit, he’s much kinder to all the women then what he is the men. He’s a pushover with the ladies. That guy is just a twit, probably going to get fired soon.”

“He’s entitled to have his own opinion, Niall.”

“Yeh, the wrong opinion, Elise.” Niall shakes his head, “go tell your husband you’re going home, C'mon, no need for you to sit ‘ere and slave away.”

“No. I’m fine.”

“Whatever ye’ say, darlin’. I have a meeting to prepare for, hope you get to feelin’ better.” Niall responds with his gregarious personality and galactic smile before exiting my office, leaving me alone with my back aches, nausea and the mass of work that needs to be completed.

I profoundly sigh as I stare at the time, ten-fifteen in the morning. I tense and let out a breath, the dull pain in my back turning into a lot more than a dull pain. The pain eases up after a few moments and I breathe gradually, attempting to relax.

Harry steps into my office, “hey, Elle, Mr.Bass is here, we have ten minutes.” Harry informs me while his hands adjust his tie.

“Do you think you can do the meeting without me?”

Harry shakes his head, “it’s going to look like I am giving you special treatment. I don’t want to be at this meeting either.”

“Ha–“ I’m cut off before I can justify my reasoning for requiring to skip the meeting.

“Elle, the meeting is in ten.” Harry alters his tone of voice and becomes stern, his fulgent, smaragdine-green eyes narrowing down on me. “Don’t forget to bring those files.” Harry gestures towards the documents on my desk that are in precise order and are required for this godforsaken meeting that evidently nobody wants to attend.

Harry turns on his heel and makes his way towards the door. “Arse,” I murmur, leaning back in my chair.

“Heard that, babe.” Harry’s voice chimes and I shrug.

“You were meant to,” I respond with quite the bitchy tone of my voice.

Harry swivels on his heel to glance over at me, “I’m still the CEO, technically your boss.” Harry points out.

Deep down I know he means nothing by it, he gets pissy and tense before certain meetings– not to mention, he may be the CEO but we are still equals in this, in fact, I own 51% of the company, settling me that tiny bit over the edge of Harry. Which also means, when it comes down to influential voting within the business, I technically get the overall say.

Interesting, huh?

I give him a sarcastic smile, “my boss is an arse.” … “don’t forget that 1% leverage I have. You know, the one you insisted on me having to prove a point that the business was ours and not just yours?”

He rolls his eyes, “I am aware,” Harry grumbles lamentably, “my wife is testing my patients as a CEO.”

“My husband is just being an outright arse today.”

“Eh,” Harry shrugs, “would you like to use that1% to rule in your favour of not attending the meeting, Mrs.Styles?”

I can sense the cynicism in his voice and I can sense his lambent eyes streaming with that certainty and cockiness they inhabit when he has a cocky sneer brewing. “Fuck you.”

“Not now, darling. I have an important meeting. See ya in seven minutes,” he winks cheekily and I roll my eyes at him and release a heavy sigh.

I stand from my chair, “Harry?” … “can I have my husband for a minute and not the CEO?” I question, watching as he nods his head and steps closer to the desk.

“I can do my best.”

“Can you rub my lower back, please? I know you can’t give me special treatment but for two minutes don’t be the pissy CEO.” I semi-beg, requiring a warm hand to caress to my lower back and knead it for a few moments, anything to help the discomfort that keeps rippling through it every so often.

He doesn’t think twice before his right hand is clasped to my shoulder and his left hand is massaging soothing circles in the small of my back, “where does it hurt, sweetheart?”

“Right there.” … “owe,” I whine softly, not wanting to come off too much as a needy pest who doesn’t want to be here.

He draws his hand away and leans over my shoulder to kiss my cheek, “there you go. Your loving husband now needs to go back to being a CEO, so… are you ready for that meeting because your ten minutes is up.”

“You’re like a dog with a bone. Relentless.” I roll my eyes, clasping the data on my desk before I’m facing Harry.

“I love you, after this meeting, you can go home.”

“Why, thank you, boss.” I cheekily wink at him.

“I love you, too, Harry.” Harry attempts to mimic my voice, causing me to chuckle for what feels like the first time this morning since he left for the meeting at seven-fifteen.

“I’m not allowed to tell my boss I love him, isn’t that against the code of conduct?”

He rolls his eyes at me, “well, you never listen to rules anyway.”

“Mhm. I love you, though. But you need to tone it down on being an asshole.” I inform him as we walk out of my office and into the main area.

*** ***

“Good afternoon and welcome. I am Harry Styles and I am the CEO of Styles & Co.” Harry introduces himself to Mr. Bass, the current prominent client Harry needs, and Mr. Bass's team.

"This morning, my team will take you through all aspects of our business. With us today is Elise CAO and president, and Niall Horan, executive vice president, Chief of finance and administration and treasurer. Also here today is Charles Taylor, our director of corporate planning." Harry introduces us to the others and I am compelled to fake a loving smile yet also a firm business appearance.

This is Charles’ first time sitting in on a meeting. Harry thought it was time to permit the man do his job. After the incident with their father and the whole announcement of fuckery, Charles was put through, Harry was the one to reach out and encourage Charles.

On the agreement Charles keeps up to date with therapy sessions and administers a squeaky clean reputation, Charles gets to operate at Styles & Co to get back on his feet before venturing out and attempting to start his own business, with the help of Harry.

Their father shredded Charles entirely of the business he had started, all his assets and earnings. Their father almost stripped him of his soon to be wife.

In a way, this is Harry making up for the lost time with Logan and fixing what has been broken. Charles Taylor is now under the wing of Harry and today Charles is receiving a taste of the influential world of his brother.

As for their Father, well, he pleaded guilty to all counts he was convicted of. Since he offered his guilty plea, any reduction attributable to the plea was applied to the sentence he received. He was charged with a Level one attempted murder charge under the SECTION 224 CRIMINAL JUSTICE ACT 2003. He was sentenced to an indeterminate sentence, which means the parole board (formally referred to as the Board of Parole Hearings) determines when an he is eligible for release. He has 25 years to life. The “25" is the determinate; "life" is the indeterminate sentence. Once he serves his minimum of 25 years, he is eligible for parole but it does not mean it will be determined that he is ready to "re-enter" society without posing an unnecessary public safety risk. With the charges against him on Charles behalf, the chances of the father being released by the board are slim to none. By the time his minimum sentencing is up, he will be seventy-eight years old and to be quite honest, I think justice will be served to him and he won't live for another twenty-five years. Incarceration lowers the lifespan expectancy… to be quite honest, he should already be six feet under and buried instead of Logan.

Niall gets the slide up on the presentation screen before he is handed the reins to present. “I would like to draw your attention to the fact that this presentation does contain forward-looking statements and actual results may differ as a result of many factors, some of which are noted on this slide.” Niall gestures towards the screen as Harry takes his seat beside me, subtly taking my hand under the table.

It's something that isn't unusual, most of the times I have to sit in on the meetings, he grasps my hand. It is a bit of a sweet gesture on his behalf. For me, it is pleasing to know that he is there. On the rare occasions that I do manage to fuck up, he always manages to step in at the right time and back me up. Sometimes just a simple squeeze of his hand calms my nerves.

I glance down at the file in front of me containing Mr. Bass’s business funds, mentally rolling my eyes at the fact he is making this meeting longer than what it requires to be. It is either a yes or no on whether he is going to do business with Styles & Co.

Personally, I would have pulled out by now, mainly because he doesn’t appear like a man that is interested in doing business with Harry, I think he is just wasting our time, but Harry has a better understanding of all this than what I do.

The performance summary of Mr. Bass is fair, from what I gather of the documents in front of me. But I of all people know that past performances should not be seen as a reliable indicator of future results.

As of 31 December 2021:

Equity — 33.1% — £1,324,492.70

Bonds — 50.5% — £2,021,986.10

Property— 3.9% — £156,214.00

Hedge Funds —2.5% — £100,778.78

Liquidity Funds— 7.0% — £279,522.06

Cash— 3.1% — £123,913.25

I say his file is decent, essentially because even at our companies worst and downfall, our performance summary was much higher as a whole. Individually, Harry’s performance summary was also much greater than what I see. Then again, in the year before the downfall, 2020, Styles & Co was posting 23 billion pounds in revenue and 2.3 billion pounds in profit.

I clear my throat subtly, curling my toes in my shoes while pain travels through my back, impelling its way towards my stomach. I glance over at the watch on my wrist: Just twenty minutes since the last spring of agony. I follow the time, attempting to take deep, subtle breaths while monitoring how long the pain lasts. Thirty-five seconds, that is how long it lasts, although it seems more like ten fucking minutes.

I squeeze his hand once, twice, three times, our signal that indicates we need to stop what we are doing and leave. It has been our signal for as long as we have been together, something we have applied a few times.

I glance over at him and he shakes his head, for the first time ever, neglecting our signal.

I attempt again and this time he lets go of my hand.

If I could scream at him and strangle him right now, I would. I know he needs this client to get on board with his proposal, but I require him to pay attention because either our child is going to make its grand appearance today or something is wrong.

*** ***

I managed to get through the meeting, only mentally hitting Harry in the balls every time I felt pain.

The meeting didn’t go as outlined, Mr. Bass didn’t propose to sign the contract with Harry, I even tried to coax him and work my magic when I wasn’t having cramps.

“Now that the meeting is over, can I speak?” I wearily sigh as Harry launches a portfolio to the middle of the table.

“What do you want Elise?” He’s pissed.

I know. I get it.

He just lost out on a half a million dollar deal, but this is just another example of where he needs to draw a line between business and me.

His phone vibrates against the table and he wastes no time with clasping it with his hands, dismissing me for a moment.

“Mr. Bass, how may I help you?” Harry greets cheerily and I roll my eyes at his change of mood and tone. “I understand your concerns, as my wife pointed out, we can alter the stipulations and concerns… If we could find a way to deal with your objections, would you sign the contract on Thursday the 17th?” Harry questions and there’s a pause for a moment.

I let out a breath as I shift uncomfortably in the chair, “Hold on one second while I look at my schedule, Mrs.Styles agreed that the 17th also isn’t a good date.” I roll my eyes at the fact Harry is lying through his teeth and playing this man very well. Harry desires this deal and will go along with whatever the man says without sounding like a pushover who is desperate for the man's signature on the dotted line. “The 27th?” Harry glances towards me and I shake my head.

He needs to have the deal closed by the 25th.

“How about the 24th?” Harry proposes, biting his lip as he taps his foot.

I can only assume the man is going to put up an immeasurable belligerence against the dates. He’s not shallow, I am sure he is knowledgeable that Harry needs the signature by a certain date and is going to do his best to get the best out of Harry. “Taking all of your requirements and desires into consideration, I think my two specialised teams would work best for you. The sooner we get this underway, the better it is for you in the long run.” Harry’s not budging on advancing the man any more incentives to sign on our schedule.

I let out a breath and wince, a piercing pain making itself known, but Harry’s too busy attempting to persuade his client to sign the damn contract. “Yes, of course. We are considering specific data procedures to help deepen our understanding.” His enchanting, clay-grey eyes catch mine and he studies me warily while listening to Mr. Bass. “I completely understand your notion.”

My hand presses to the edge of the desk and I squeeze it in an attempt to divert the pain away, my knuckles turning white. “I assure you my team can handle that.” He swivels on his chair before he leans over and takes my hand, his eyes darting around, perhaps in an attempt to figure out what’s going on. “Absolutely, so how does the 24th sound?” Harry screws his nose up and I can only assume he was rejected again for the specific date.

It’s when I squeeze his hand and let out a moan while bowing my head that he becomes more alert, “are you okay?” He mouths and it takes everything in me not to lie.

I want to tell him I am, I do. But let’s face it. I’m not. And I haven’t been okay.

I shake my head and gulp, clutching his hand as my only outlet, a heavy groan of pain escaping my lips. “Mr. Bass, I will have to reschedule, I need to go.” He’s blunt and somewhat unprofessional with how he dismisses the call.

I’m quite astounded.

He puts his phone down, “what’s going on? And don’t try lie, I saw your grimace.”

I clear my throat, “I’m having contractions.”

“Like Braxton Hicks?”

“No.” I shake my head, “Actual contractions.” … “I’m pretty sure it’s time. They’re fifteen minutes apart and getting worse.”

“You’re kidding, right?” … “you still have two weeks.”

I glare over at him and blink at him for a moment, “fuck, you’re serious?”

His eyes grow wide and he springs to his feet quicker than I can blink. “Let’s get you out of here. How long? Has your water broken?” He challenges, helping me up swiftly.

“Since about five this morning. I thought it was just the usual aches and pains.”

“For fuck's sake, and you’re just now saying something? It’s bloody one.”

I shrug, “they weren’t this bad. When was I meant to say something? You cut me off when I tried to tell you before the meeting that I wanted to go home.” … “and I didn’t want to interrupt halfway through the meeting… you kinda ignored our signal.”

“Christ,” Harry murmurs, “I’m such an arse, I’m sorry.” … “Niall!! Get your fuckin’ ass here!” Harry shouts as we reach the door.

Niall looks over from Anastasia’s desk with a startled expression before he’s in front of us. “Anastasia,” Harry calls over in a gentler tone, “get my car keys from my office and bring my car to the front, please, hurry.” … “Niall walk with me,” Harry instructs as his arm is securely around me and we wander further down the office. “You’re in charge while I’m gone. Don’t take any bullshit from anyone, move my meeting at three to next week. Make sure to call Mr. Bass and tell him I am sorry I ended the call abruptly but my wife is in labour. While you’re at it, see if you can get him to stop being such a prick and to just sign the damn contract before the 25th.”

Niall nods and takes everything that Harry says as we reach the elevator that multiple people are waiting on.

The doors to the elevator open and I groan as I perceive it full off staff and people from the meeting that was held on another floor with the people who work for me. “Everyone out,” Harry instructs and Niall quite literally ushers everyone out.

“Don’t you think that was rude?” I softly challenge as Niall taps the button for the ground floor.

“Do you think I care?” Harry questions and I can’t help but chuckle to myself, “how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay right now, I have about seven more minutes before another contraction hits.”

***

By the time we step out the front of Styles’ Towers, Anastasia is standing by Harry’s car, his keys dangling in her hands with a wide smile pressed to her lips. She opens the passenger door for me and wastes no time comforting me with her sweet words of encouragement and enthusiasm. Harry takes the keys from Anastasia and politely thanks her while he assists me into the car. “You two have everything under control, right?” He turns to them both and they nod, assuring him they are fine.

There’s no doubt in my mind that they don’t have this under control— they pretty much were the backbone to the business when Harry was in hospital both times and I was the one doing his job. They coaxed me through everything and Niall took everything on his shoulders to help out the best he could. He’s a great business partner and to be honest, he should be the one who owns the business with Harry, not me. But, in all of this, Niall does get a hefty sum of finances, about 2 million pounds worth of finances.

I’m certain Niall and Anastasia along with the rest of the staff can keep things under control for a day or two.

The moment Harry gets in the car he inhales and exhales a few deep breaths, having a bit of a moment to process the current events. I can only imagine his thoughts are racing and he’s internally freaking out, if this is true labour, he’s going to be a father in a few hours— I know that worries him still. It probably always will.

He turns the key in the ignition and grasps my hand. I give him a little squeeze, waiting for him to stare at me before I give him a tender smile, assuring him that it will all be okay. He grins softly and swiftly leans over and kisses my cheek before turns his focus to the road and begins to pull out of the parking space.

“I’m really sorry for being an arse today, I shouldn’t have made you go to the meeting, I should have listened.” … “do you forgive me? I promise I’m working on being a better husband and not putting work first, it’s hard to transition sometimes and–“ Harry rambles on, and although it is incredibly thoughtful and adorable to overhear him ramble on with an apology and be entirely sincere about calling himself an arse, I’m not in the mood to have him grovel.

“Harry… it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”

“H, I know you’re sorry, but please for the love of God quit grovelling and drive because this contraction is fucking long.”

“Okay, okay, I’m doing my best, just relax,” Harry mutters, his eyes darken and focused on the road.

“Telling me to relax doesn’t help, Harry.”

“Baby, I don’t know what to tell you,” Harry breathes out, “squeeze my hand if you need to. Breathe, remember to breathe. There we go… talk to me to keep your mind off the pain.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Anything, love. Tell me about… uh— fuck, you tell me everything so I don’t know what you can tell me… oh, talk to me about that book you were reading… you were meant to tell me about it but last night but I fell asleep. Tell me now. I want all the details.” …

I chuckle, remembering that he did fall asleep on me last night when I was meant to tell him about the book because he was genuinely interested. “Before I tell you about the book, Happy Valentine’s Day, I am sorry if you had special plans or a reservation, I know you usually do a dinner for me and—”

“Hey, don’t apologise. This is more important. I’d rather meet our baby than worry about dinner,” Harry chuckles, “Happy Valentine’s Day, you’re giving me quite the gift of love here.” …

*** ***

Eight Hours have passed since I was admitted and I wish I could say it has been a lovely experience that they all rave about online and in the bloody books. No, it has been eight hours of back pain and swearing.

By now, I have called Harry every single name under the sun, and somehow he hasn’t snapped once. Not once. He has taken it like a man.

He has been exceptional the last eight hours though, tending to my every need, getting me ice chips, adjusting the lighting in the room, massaging my back and helping me walk around the room to help ease the contractions. He has been more help than I thought he would be. I honestly thought he’d crack under pressure and freak the fuck out. But, he has stayed calm this whole time and done everything possible to make me comfortable.

As a forty-five-second contraction comes to an end and I release Harry’s hand from my own, I cock my head to the side to glance at him, “I’m scared, H,”

“I know, me too,” he responds, “me too, darling.”

“No… I can’t do this... I’m not ready…”

“Hey,” he whispers, shifting a few strands of hair away from my face, “I have never once heard you say you can’t do something, believe me, if either of us can do this, it is you. You are ready. There’s nothing you can’t do. Fucking convinced you’re not human at this point. You have constantly blown my mind over the years with all you can do.”

I shake my head, “I’m not, I need more time, Harry I need time.”

“Sweetheart, don’t freak out on me, you’re the strong level headed one, you have this under control. I promise you’re ready, you’re doing a fucking amazing job, you have done an amazing job ‘til now, you’ve got this, you’re a fucking badass.”

I chuckle at his comment as I continue to take deep breaths, well aware that it is only a few more minutes before another contraction hits.

If you had of told me three years ago that I would be married to Harry and having his child, I would have laughed my ass off, essentially because, as stated several times before, Harry wasn’t really the marrying type. And when I say this, I mean it in a good way. He always said he didn’t want to get married until he was one-hundred percent ready; I didn’t expect him to pop the question out of the blue when we had talked so little about marriage. When it comes to children, I have always had an inkling he didn’t want to have children and I understand his theory and reasons for it now that he has opened up about his Father.

It’s funny how things change and how they shape so swiftly. When we had the scare while he was on a business trip, I anticipated him to react the way he did and shut down but also handle things well. What I didn’t expect was for him to have this glimmer in his enrapturing, loam-grey eyes when he spoke about kids. It was a bittersweet moment when I told him it was a false positive, mainly because we weren’t ready for a family and because it made me realise there was something that sparked in him that deep down he wanted a family. Then, when I found out was pregnant, I can’t deny the fact that I had a breakdown and had to promptly compose myself while Addalyn stared at me. I think I was the one who had the initial ‘holy mother of God’ moment. When I told Harry the news, I expected him to act out in a little bit, but he didn’t— he was happy, genuinely happy.

Either way, right now, I don’t feel like I am ready. I am not sure we are entirely ready. Sure, we have the nursery set up; we have blankets galore— our child will never go cold— we have more baby clothes than the baby really requires and more teddy bears and stuffed animals than we know what to do with, (thanks to Harry). Harry became delicate and sweet, an entire 180 from the CEO mentality. He bought our baby teddy bears and soft toys because he remembers always discovering comfort in teddybears while growing up. I never asked for too much detail, I gathered that they were his safe haven and what gave him a sense of home. Instead of asking about it all, I just let him buy stuffed toys until his heart was content.

Despite having the nursery ready and feeling as though I have been ready. I am not. Not even close.

Another rippling contraction takes harbour in my body and for a split moment, I wish it was him going through this and not me. "Fuck you for doing this to me," I mutter through my teeth.

"I love you, just a few more seconds, you’ve got this.. atta girl." … “about twenty more seconds, darling.” …  “breathe, Elle.”

“That’s not helping,” I groan just as the delivery nurse strolls in with a smile.

She wouldn’t be smiling if she was in my position.

The moment I get the news that it’s finally time to push, I think my world stops.

I don’t think I can mentally or physically do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.

Harry grabs my hand and leans closer, “Hey, I can see you’re freaking out right now, I know, believe me, I’m scared too. You’re doing wonderfully. I know you’re in pain, I know you hate me right now, but in a few moments, it’ll all be worth it. I’ve never known you to give up when the going gets tough…. you’re going to make a kick-ass mum… look at me, Elle… I promise you can do this. I’m right here beside you, you’re going great.” Of all the speeches he has given me in the last eight hours, I think this one is the one that I’ve liked the most. “Put me to shame and show me how much of a strong, incredible woman you are.” He smiles, squeezing my hand gently.

He reaches over and grasps a wet washcloth and touches it to my forehead, “I have one hell of an amazing wife who’s about to be one hell of an amazing mother. I’m so proud of you, just a little more, Elle,” He’s swift to encourage me through a contraction.

*** ***

The CEO doesn’t cry on many occasions whether happy or sad, I’m the one that is more in touch with my emotional side, but waking up to see the man of my dreams with a beautiful little boy swaddled in his arms and tears down his face is something I’ll never forget. Nor will I forget his tears that I saw at twelve past ten P.M. When the nurse announced the time of arrival and soft, beautiful cries filled the room.

My eyes open as I hear the one voice that is quite literally music to my ears. I smile to myself as I hear him humming a melody that I know is familiar. Something that I remember used to be sung to me when I was little by my Dad.

“I see trees of green, red roses too,” Harry softly begins to sing, his voice brightening the room with his beautiful tone. Every rare moment I hear him sing, it makes my heart. “I  see them bloom for me and you. And I think to myself what a wonderful world.” His voice is soothing, calming and the most wonderful thing I can ever hear. His voice is like spring. It is like waking up one morning to gaze out and observe the world as a wayfarer-blue sky. Heavenly, divine and captivating in every way.  Spring skies are extraordinary and brilliant, and just like his voice, they're a continuum of blessings and happiness that salves both spirit and soul. His voice is like when you gaze out into a charming flourishing meadow on an early morning and your eyes catch the squillions of glint-silver dewdrops that are dampened in the meadow, the way they catch the sunrays displays them flawlessly. And just like that, Harry's voice is of that a squillions glint-silver dewdrops that shine radiantly when noticed on unique occurrences. “I see skies of blue and clouds of white. The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night. And I think to myself what a wonderful world.” … “I see skies of blue and clouds of white. The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night. And I think to myself what a wonderful world.”

I keep quiet while listening to Harry sing, unaware that I am awake and can hear him. “The colours of the rainbow so pretty in the sky. Are also on the faces of people going by. I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do. They're really saying I love you.” Hearing him sing the lyrics send shivers down my back and I mean that in the most loving way— when I couldn’t sleep at night when I was much younger, my Dad would tuck me in with my favourite stuffed teddy bear and blanket, he’d get in my little bed and softly sing the song to me.

“I hear babies crying, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll never know. And I think to myself what a wonderful world.”

“Yes, I think to myself what a wonderful world,” I join in on the last line, catching Harry by surprise as he glances over at me with his grey eyes that are a-glow with love and he flashes me an amiable smile while a few tears cascade down his cheeks.

“Hey,” Harry croaks as he wastes no time with shuffling closer to me.

“Hi,” I grin up at him, reaching my shaky hand up to his face where I wipe away a few of his tears. “Did I interrupt a moment?” I softly challenge as I gaze into his eyes and perceive nothing but pure love.

Harry shakes his head, “you like the song?”

I nod, “My Dad used to sing it to me”

“Really?” He seems surprised, “My Mum used to sing it to me.”

“That’s funny how fate works,” I chuckle, amazed by how both our parents used to sing us the same song.

Harry nods in agreement, “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty damn sore and tired, but good,” I smile.

“Here, let me help you up,” he whispers, delicately helping me to sit up while he cradles our little bundle of joy. “I didn’t get to tell you right after he was born, but you did a wonderful job, Elle. I’m so proud of you, I’m in awe of what you’ve done.” He leans down and caresses a gentle kiss on my forehead, “Wanna say Hi?” He grins, not waiting for me to respond before placing the newborn in my arms.

“Hi, sweetheart,” I beam down at our creation— my pride and joy. “I’m sorry I fell asleep before properly giving you a cuddle, I am sure Daddy made up for it… he’s really good with cuddles. We need to give you a name.” I glance towards Harry and he can’t help but just stellarly smile.

down at me.

“Thomas? You said you liked Tommy.” Harry asks but I shake my head. Harry is right from our last discussion we had about names, Tommy doesn’t suit our son as well as I had hoped. I know this just by looking down at the little boy.

“Alexander. Alex for short. He doesn’t look like a Tommy.”

“Alexander Logan Styles.” Harry nods his head with a bright smile and scintillating, loam-grey eyes. “it’s lovely.”

“Mhm, we did well, H.”

“Sweetheart, you did all the hard work, all credit to you,” Harry leans down and kisses my lips sweetly.

“Eh, you get some credit,” I wink with a bit of a chuckle. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Not long, jus’ an hour or so.”

“Oh… anyone held him?”

He shakes his head, “no, didn’t want anyone to until you had a proper cuddle.” He beams down at me, “I’m so proud of you, Elise… I am so in love with you, I didn’t think I could fall any further in love with you until tonight. I just– I ’m thrilled you’ve made me a Dad. I never thought this moment would fill me with such joy in the way it has, my heart feels full and heavy in the most astounding way possible. And I have you to thank. You’re my light at the end of a gloomy tunnel and I have so much love and gratitude for you that I can’t physically manifest and explain... I love you more than life itself and I will continue to love you until my last day on earth, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives has to offer us, darling. All three of us…”

I grin up at the man that has come a long way since I first met him years ago. He has become a man of his word, an honourable, loving man that has learned that life is a long-drawn journey. He has had his ups and downs, we both have, and we’ve both been forced to have a push and pull force with each other. He pushes me to constantly work my ass off and be the person I can be, and I pull him back when he’s drifting too far away. I keep him grounded and steady to the best of my ability.

We both have our balancing acts with each other.

We fit flawlessly together like two souls that were always made for one.

A little less than a year ago, I walked to my future, to the rest of my life, and it has been the best rest of my life I could ask for.

He has shown me unconditional love and support, has held me at my weakest and stood by me at my strongest. Harry has done nothing but encourage me throughout the years and I hope I have done the same for him. I took him as the grey-eyed man that swept me off my feet at the age of 21. I love him for who he is and what I know of him; I love Harry for everything he does, for the way he holds me and the way he put others first. I vowed to give him my deepest love and affection, to honour him, and to uplift him when the going gets tough. I vowed to be faithful, to give him my fullest devotion, and my tenderest care through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future. I promised to stand by his side and respect each and every decision he makes for himself and for us. I stand by him as his wife, his best friend, and his number one fan. I vowed to love him, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer.

We said forever and forever it’ll be. I want to be with him until we are grey and old; I intend to love him until my world comes to an end, — Oh, but what a wonderful world it will be.

— This is our kind of meant to be; this is our story, our happily ever after—

The End.

[the-archlich]

So...I’ve been meaning to make this post for a while now and I’ve gotten some very nice people asking questions about it. Regular readers probably know that my father-in-law was hospitalized several months ago. What I haven’t really had the heart to share is that he passed away early in November.

I’ve been intending to make some long, eloquent thing about it to really try and express my feelings, but I just don’t really have it in me. It’s still very fresh and difficult to talk about.

It is not necessary to send me messages of sympathy or condolence. I’m never good at responding to those sorts of things. (And when I see a flood of messages I assume it’s some pissed off Guan Yu fan.)

One bit that I will share, because I’ve wanted to say this to someone but I can never seem to get through it when I say it aloud.

Not long before his accident, my father and I planted some blueberry bushes in the backyard. That’s it. No big thing. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Mostly I was just irritated to be doing yardwork but he needed a hand so I helped out. It’s nothing, really.

But now that I’m looking back on it, that afternoon has a lot more meaning. My natural father left when I was 6 years old. He never visited. At first he’d make excuses that I was young enough to believe, but eventually he stopped even doing that. I barely new him. A few years ago, my mother remarried, but I was already an adult and living elsewhere. I don’t really know her husband.

It was only during those final days that I realized my father-in-law was the only father I ever actually had. I knew him for 9 years, which is longer than I knew either man my mother married. He and I were never really close. We didn’t have much in common.

Still, he was the only father I ever had. And that afternoon, digging in the yard, planting bushes...that’s something sons do with their fathers. I didn’t appreciate it while I had it.

Really, I just don’t have the heart to be more poetic right now. On the day of his passing, I shared a poem Cao Pi wrote about his own father’s death. Of course Wendi can express himself far more eloquently than I can.

The things are there just as before; But the man they belonged to is not there. His spirit suddenly has taken flight And left me behind far away. To whom shall I look, on whom rely? My tears flow in an endless stream.

[ideasmithy]

A GOOD EGG I've been reading food fiction through lockdown. It was a little surprise since I've never been either a foodie or an enthusiastic cook. Food has been fuel, a functional need at best. But in lockdown, I have found myself needing nourishment of the mind as well as the body. My physical health has been very decent these past few weeks and I realised some part of it is because I'm not eating outside food. It's not just the ingredients, it's the callousness of fellow diners who smoke, the impersonal touch of paid cooks, the self-esteem issues of dining companions that I can taste in every morsel I eat in those messy environs. Home, I'm only dealing with the very familiar dynamics of people I've known my whole life and food, similarly so. @ayusheeghoshal posted a picture of her poached egg experiment which made me pipe up about mine. I'd been making my breakfast in a fog of irritation at the weather & confinement. But our conversation made me think of the parts of my reading I've liked and the ones I didn't. I feel soothed by remembering the universality of food. It's a positive counterpoint to the negative universality of a virus that doesn't discriminate. It makes me feel connected to all human beings everywhere - our needs for nourishment, for protection, for affection, for validation, for community. I did not like reading about fashionable food circles, about toxic human politics brought onto the table. It feels wrong on a cellular level to poison the one thing that HAS to be wholesome. But I guess we also need air to be clean, our minds to navigate conversations that are enriching (not combative). It makes me surer about not glorifying rage, about the importance of personal responsibility, about gratitude over guilt. This morning, I thought about these things instead of how my hair was sticking to the back of my neck. And the eggs turned out beautifully. After all, all things do well when shown care. 🎶: ISN'T SHE LOVELY: New York Jazz Lounge  #theideasmithy https://www.instagram.com/p/CAo-OGnpMlO/?igshid=b7pnq7rwfhxx

[shenmeizhuang-blog]

current standing + ramblings

*I wanted to do a more official, “pretty” post but currently it’s a bit...inconvenient to fully use Tumblr. So, here goes:

The Advisors Alliance (大军师司马懿之军师联盟): I do have some catching up to do, as I’m currently only 22 episodes into the 42-ep Season 1, which just completed its run a few days ago. Admittedly, I’m slightly apprehensive as I’ve read complaints that the latter part of the show becomes a bit...illogical, but time will tell. 

Where I am currently, warlord/king of Wei Kingdom (despite the current “emperor” of Eastern Han still existing) Cao Cao is about to die; with the earlier eps essentially covering protagonist Sima Yi as he assists unfavored son Cao Pi to gain the position of Crown Prince and faces adversary Yang Xiu, the deaths of the recent characters mark a pretty obvious shifting point; while the earlier eps had that whole Nirvana in Fire vibe that came with an advisor placing an unfavored son on the throne (although frankly, I ship just about everything EXCEPT Sima Yi and Cao Pi), as well as Yang Xiu and Cao Cao’s dominating presences that assisted in holding the show together, the latter eps risk being somewhat messy. 

The first episode was somewhat of a challenge to complete, with me having to even reference a dictionary multiple times, but eventually it becomes not that hard. Additionally, I find this show freaking ADORABLE -- there are just so many brief breaks of humor, heartwarming domesticity, and the ridiculously shippy romance between Cao Pi and Guo Zhao. Easily the best thing about this show is simply the cinematography and execution, so even if events become messy/illogical (though this is a considerably smart show), this is an amazing show to dunk my eyes into simply for the pretty. 

Admittedly, I know next to nothing about Three Kingdoms history, except like the super super basic, so I can’t really comment on historical accuracy (the show does utilize historical events such as battles or someone’s ascension for time skips though). I KNOW that apparently Hua Too died way later than in the show, etc., but frankly I would rather see a well thought-out story than a dry retelling of history. 

But I’m also hypocritical, and find that the show wants to emphasize Sima Yi/ everyone’s connections a bit TOO much -- like, what is the point of having to make Guo Zhao related to the Sima family? I ship her with Cao Pi a lot, but so many times it feels like she’s there to assist in saving someone in the Sima family (’tis a time where people’s lives are endangered essentially every 30 seconds). Additionally, since my cousin was watching this on TV, I saw a scene far far later where Zhen Fu 被打入冷宫 and she needed assistance or something and she freaking asked for Sima Yi. Because, of course, EVERYTHING comes back to him. 

Acting-wise, everyone is quite solid, and very surprisingly I actually recognize a lot of the actors, which makes for a very nice viewing experience. (Admittedly Li Chen feels...like Li Chen rather than Cao Pi, though the mustache I think actually helps diminish that a bit. Wang Jinsong’s portrayal of Xun You blew me away, though I’m slightly irritated by the fact that he (among 崔尚书 and other characters) essentially served as sacrifices -- some of the more minor characters tend to serve purposes to push forward the plot or give some advice rather than actually be characters. (Although they do an amazing job portraying this show’s antagonists so far). 

I really do like Yu Hewei as Cao Cao, even if people say he’s essentially channeling Chen Jianbin’s performance in San Guo (which I DIDN’T see). Personally, I can’t shake away the image of Chen Jianbin as Emperor Yongzheng (in Zhen Huan), so if I watch 3K 2010 for whatever reason it’s all going to very peculiar for me.

But, overall: I like it! I love its dramatics, humor, and cuteness rather than find it off-putting, and no matter what’s stored for the future, I will still fondly look back upon the earlier episodes at least. 

Love Lost in Times (醉玲珑): Despite the more peculiar-looking hairstyles, surprisingly one of the biggest perks to this show is the gorgeous cinematography and directing. Everything is just so very pretty -- EVEN compared to The Advisors Alliance, making this a really nice show to just relax my brain with. This is a weekly show (the horror), airing only two days a week, so with me not completely invested yet but still enjoying, I’m not biting my nails and praying for new episodes/for Thursday to come yet can more easily stay on schedule. 

Located in the kingdom of Western Wei, which interestingly is the location of a whole lot of currently airing shows (even AA technically takes place in Wei, though in a much different context), this is a world where the royal family struck a deal with a clan of witches/sorcerers (although I’ve only seen a total of two magical males in the witch clan’s realm hehe). This entire high fantasy/alternate realms is a pretty unique concept, and nicely melds with simple palace politics. But despite all the wonder and pretty, it’s very clear that the main point is the star-crossed (literally, with Qingchen being this 阴星 who is actually fated to meet 阳星) love between our leads. So far the pacing is very nice, and four episodes in, there’s already a very clear set-up . . . that is, leading up to Qingchen resetting the universe, Yuan Ling forgetting like everything, and everything angsty all starting over again. 

Admittedly, if not for the unique high fantasy concept the entire royal-political arc would be very generic. And like...why Fourth Prince AGAIN? LOL. (People say that the original novel is essentially a rehash of BBJX, especially since the original saw our protagonist time traveling from the modern day, but the romance and political events at least in the drama feel WAY TOO DIRECT and simplified for me to even make a slight association. Also, the main point of BBJX is like the freaking time travel aspect . . . erm anyway, I could rant forever about BBJX so I won’t.)

Despite the quick and refreshing pace, the one thing I find difficult is shipping the OTP, and they’re getting married despite all odds like next episode. Because, already? 

My favorite thing about this show, prettiness aside, is actually this show’s main antagonist, the seventh prince Yuan Zhan -- 1) Xu Hai Qiao but 2) unlike the other Evil^TM characters, he feels like the most complex and multifaceted character compared to everyone else (including, and especially our likable but so far typical leads, though I do also enjoy seeing Yuan Ling’s stubbornness and resourcefulness that would’ve resolved all the issues of most star-crossed romances), and is, Yuan Ling aside, someone I would entrust as a ruler. He’s sly and definitely some parts morally dark, but I enjoy seeing his ambition, the facade he creates, as well as his own perspective the justifies his own actions. He isn’t inherently evil or anything, just has a different 立场 and different motives than our leads. It’s just that his headpiece looks like either a cake or a flowerpot XD. 

Acting: both Shi Shi and William Chan are mediocre, though I think nicely compliment each other in prettiness and mediocrity, but side characters such as Liu Yijun as the horrid and corrupt Emperor, Han Dong as Qingchen’s shifu, Han Xue, Xu Hai Qiao as Yuan Zhan, Zhang He as 9th all delivered solid performances. 

It’s still a largely simplistic show that’s largely about the romance (*coughs* the title), but if well-done I’m always here for the angst. Overall, given that I didn’t really anticipate this show or have that many expectations, it’s a good show so far. Okay and randomly the opening theme sounds rather off-putting -- I would suggest skipping over that. 

[blitherandblather]

CAoS Theory

If I were a religious man, I'm pretty sure I'd have given Satanism a shot. I'm not the kind of person who commits to anything for very long, so it wouldn't be that big a deal. I switch pinball-fashion from one dead-end, minimum wage job to the next on a bi-weekly basis. I just don't have the attention span to make a career of anything. I've already forgotten what I was talking about at the start of this paragraph and now I'm going to have to go all the way back to beginning to find out. It has pros and cons,  short attention span.

Satan, that's it. Or, at least, the Church of Satan. It's hip, it's new and it's utter bullshit. I find most religions to be utter bullshit, but at least this one has a few ideals I can get on board with. For one thing, Stupidity in a cardinal sin in Satanism. In fact, it's sin number one; it's the worst thing you do in the Church, be stupid. I can agree with that, it's my least favourite characteristic in a person too. There's a suspiciously prominent “don't fuck children” rule thrown in there too, as if in direct response to some other religion. Almost as if they were worried priests getting kicked out of other churches might end up theirs, so they just wanted to get the message out there. Come if you want, but, let's just be clear here, absolutely no fucking children. In fact, no children at all. Seriously, we're not letting anyone under the age of 18 through the door. Understand? Good, welcome to the CoS; here's your birthday cake.

Satanists are also atheists, so there's no real worry about being judged in the afterlife, because there isn't one. They also don't really care if you're a Satanist or not. They don't have masses or go knocking door-to-door. There's very little you actually have to do to be a Satanist. Most of it is about self-reflection and embracing nihilism. Oh, and their High Priest has released a bunch of albums you could use as mood setters while playing Dungeons and Dragons. Above all, though, Satanism is a philosophy and a way of thinking as opposed to an actual religion, and, if I were to join any organisation, I think they'd be the ones for me.

All of which has absolutely nothing to do with the Netflix show Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, a new imagining of the Archie Horror comic book of the same name. It's a far darker and grittier look at the character than that taken by Melissa Joan Hart. Like most of Netflix's own shows, this 10-parter has an ongoing arc, split by story-of-the-week episodes. Sabrina is a half-witch, which means youngsters can relate to her, but also that her life is going to be more interesting than yours.

The Dark Lord, the devil, wants Sabrina to join his legion of followers, like her father promised she would before mysteriously dying in a plot point. But Sabrina is half-human, too, and she has a boyfriend and it's all, like, so unfair and stuff. So, a deal is struck between the innocent teenager and the manifestation of all evil, ruler of hell and destroyer of souls. She's allowed to go to her regular, human school, as long as she also attends The Academy of Unseen Arts, which I was positive was where Rincewind got kicked out of. As if this wasn't complicated enough, there is a witch-killer on the loose picking off Satan's followers. Also, there's like, these really mean girls? And, like, this boy? Like, a wizard boy? And he, like, likes Sabrina? But Sabrina's already with this human guy? It's totes drama, you guys.

There are a lot of positives with the show. Kiernan Shipka, playing Sabrina, is very likeable and exudes a confidence which makes us feel like she's been playing the role for years. The certifiably insane Michelle Gomez, perfectly cast as the possessed corpse of Sabrina's (human) High School teacher/(spoilers) Madame Satan herself, has great fun lurking around mischievously in the background of shots, plotting devious deeds and threatening pretty much everyone she happens to bang in to. Richard Coyle, playing the High Priest, hams it up unapologetically as the puritanical and ever-so-slightly-corrupt Father Blackwood. The show rarely panders to the viewer, assuming we already have at least a passing knowledge of the occult, mentioning Morgan le Fay, Lilith of Aradia, the Witch of Endor, Hildegard of Bingen, Marie Laveau, Tituba, Nehman, Badb, Macha, the Virgin of Juno, and the Kindly Ones (not looking forward to spellchecking that sentence). All of that is in one monologue, by the way, powerful stuff although, admittedly, utter gibberish if you don't know your witches. The plot also leans heavily on the Devil and Mr. Webster, with many feel-good moments where the clever half-human beats the devil himself in a game of wits.

There is plenty to moan about too, however. The storyline is plodding and, for most of the season, utterly directionless. Minor plot points are brought up to give the show a feel of gravitas it doesn't actually possess; an underdeveloped young girl is bullied by transphobic jocks, her father refers to his gay brother as “an abomination” and Sabrina's ward, Aunt Zelda (she's got a harsh exterior but, shock and horror, there's a heart of gold under there!) has an affair with Father Blackwood, whose wife is too pregnant to satisfy him sexually. To atone for this affair, both participants flagellate themselves, which also brings BDSM in to the mix, completely out of place and tone with the rest of the show.

Lucy Davis, Sabrina's other ward, Aunt Hilda (she's got a soft and squishy exterior but, shock and horror, there's a bellyful of fire under there!) mumbles distractedly in the background, utterly unsure how to play the character and becomes more of a distraction from, as opposed to a part of the story. The love triangle between Sabrina, dishy human Harvey Kinkle (who is given precisely fuck all to do except be dishy) and the dishy warlock Nicholas Scratch (maybe a spoiler alert, this was the devil's name in The Devil and Mr. Webster) feels tacked on and pointless. All YA fiction requires a love triangle, because how else can a young woman figure out who she truly is unless she can figure out which, of two, boys she wants to fuck the most?

Characters motives change on a whim, ranging from mildly irritating – Aunt Hilda warning Sabrina not to cast a particular spell, while simultaneously telling her exactly how to do so – to the fucking baffling – Madame Satan helping Sabrina exorcise a demon out of a human body, then coming back later on to murder the human for no fucking reason.

A plot point is brought up early in which a young, and possibly unaware, warlock is brought in to the morgue. He has definitely been murdered, and the Spellmans worry a Witch Hunter has come to town. They are so sure of it, they bring the news to the attention of Father Blackwood, who tells them to “keep an eye on it”. And it's never mentioned again.

Father Blackwood's position is similarly vague and malleable. In the first episode, the Spellman sisters are so terrified of the man, they're reluctant to even speak to him. In a later episode, when they've got shit going on, they pretty much to tell him to fuck off and let them get on with it. And he agrees. Sabrina constantly interrupts his sermons, pointing out that their religion is a crock of shit and that he, himself, is making up shit as he goes along. She's correct, of course, but he's the head of his particular coven and yet does nothing about her impertinence. On the other hand, when a full witch makes a minor mistake, he threatens to kill her and her two sisters if they ever screw up again. There's absolutely no consistency with his standing in the community, nor what his reaction will be to any given situation. Particularly irritating are the scenes with Blackwood and Madame Satan, during which it's never explained who is whose boss. They bark orders at each other one minute, then cow down the next. It feels like parts of the show are still in their first draft, whereas others have had copious amounts of rewrites, but both have been filmed and edited in to the final product.

Episode five – of ten – is a dream episode! The ultimate failure in any show (Star Trek disguised their dream episodes using a Holodeck instead, but the result was exactly the same), dream episodes are ones in which nothing fucking matters, because it's all a dream. It doesn't matter what happens in the episode, it's wiped out by the end credits. To stick a dream episode halfway through your first season stinks of an underdeveloped script. If there isn't enough plot to fill up ten episodes (and, believe me, there isn't), then don't film ten episodes. Condense it in to nine, or eight. Hell, be British about it and just have two six-part seasons and then never return to the premise ever again. You'll be beloved forever.

Therein lies the major problem with CAOS. There just isn't enough of it, and there's too much of it. The characters are, on the whole, dull, unimaginative and one-dimensional. The plots to each episode are dribbled across an hour plus of screen time, with barely half an hour's worth of material and the overall arc of season one focusses far too much on setting things up for season two, without giving us a reason to want to come back. By the end of episode ten, I was bored more than anything. I cared nothing for any of the characters and any good will I had felt towards the show at the beginning had been long-since spent. To the devil with them all.

[nonhoration]

Decided to try and keep the games reviews going into 2017

For added fun I decided to post the first ones at night when no one is around to read them!

Delicious: Emily's Christmas Carol Genre: Time Management Rating: 8/10 Review: This is pretty much every 'Delicious' game if you've ever played one but with a Christmas theme. Every problem is minor and solved quickly and the story isn't very deep but the game overall is pretty charming. There are some pretty ludicrously difficult achievements if you're into that kind of thing.

Reus Genre: God Game Rating: 9/10 Review: I started playing this because I saw a post @monsterkissed made about it and it sounded pretty neat. I'm having a lot of fun with it so far. The 30 minute eras are perfect for when I want to play a bite sized game. The animations and characters are really cute and it's fun to get to use the new creatures and buildings that you get as you progress.

Mahjong Huntress Genre: Mahjong Rating: 6/10 Review: This game is a bit glitchy and sometimes unnecessarily difficult (as far as I can tell, some levels are designed to require powerups to complete) but the art style is really pretty and I'm liking the story so far. The match-3 minigame is fun. I don't think I'll ever end up playing all the challenge boards though.

Stardew Valley Genre: Life Sim Rating: 9/10 Review: I can't believe how long it's taken me to actually get around to playing this! It's so chill and fun and there are so many things to do! A few aspects are a bit irritating (sometimes I feel like fatigue accumulates too fast, some new things aren't explained super well, relationship decay is the fucking worst) but overall I'm really loving it, and I think it's something I'll come back to for a long time.

Lara Croft GO Genre: Puzzle Rating: 9/10 Review: In terms of being a puzzle game it doesn't really do anything new or innovative but it's really fun and feels empowering and it's everything I loved about the old Tomb Raider games that's been lacking in the reboot stuff.

A Tale of Caos: Overture Genre: Point & Click Adventure Rating: 8/10 Review: I liked this a lot. Nice bright pixel art style, interesting story, fun characters, good humour. The minigames were kind of irritating but the worst one was skippable after a few attempts. Looking forward to the next game in the series.

Thing-in-Itself Genre: Art Installation Rating: 7/10 Review: The explanation of the concept was done in a really neat way but the protagonist was kind of unlikable and in a lot of ways the overarching plot is just "hets make bad decisions: the game" so I don't think I'd play it again.

Lily's Day Off Genre: VN Rating: 4/10 Review: The story wasn't nearly as interesting as it seemed to think it was, and the creepy costumes you could put on the heroine and the absolutely bizarre implied incest kind of ruined it for me. The music was nice though.

Paranormal Teens Genre: VN Rating: 1/10 Review: This game was fucking awful. Weird racism, overbearing and bizarre Christian themes, not what I was expecting at all.

Relive Genre: Adventure, CPR Simulator Rating: 8/10 Review: This was a pretty neat idea, putting a CPR lesson inside a sci-fi adventure game. The game did get a little bogged down in fetch quests at some points and parts of the story didn't really hit quite as hard as I think the dev team intended them to, but it was still a neat project and a good effort. The game is free and I'd recommend to check it out.

Don't Chat With Strangers Genre: Death Toybox Rating: 4/10 Review: I liked the art style and some of the deaths were cool but the minigames weren't fun and it was just too simple and short to really recommend. I'm also not really sure what the story was intended to be about (did he hit her with his car? Was that just an opening animation? Why is burying her an okay thing to do? Pachelbel's Canon, really?) despite playing it multiple times.

Ladykiller in a Bind Genre: VN Rating: 6/10 Review: This is a really difficult game to review, because I really really liked some parts of it but there were other parts that I HATED. There is some really neat stuff done with the VN mechanics in general in the game, including a "real time" dialogue system where you get options to interject that slowly fade away as you progress in the conversation and they wouldn't make sense anymore, as well as indications right on the dialogue selection of what the mechanical results of any choice will be (in terms of tone as well as votes/suspicion or ending a route early). I'm glad for the steam edition that the option to skip sex scenes was added, because there was some stuff going on in a few scenes (though not as many as I'd suspected there might be going in) that was Not For Me and even if I didn't take it it was nice to know that the option to disengage with the scene if I felt uncomfortable was available. Pretty much every route and character used the word "slut" too much for me. There was some cloudiness around consent (particularly on the Stalker's route but also in a few other places) that I think is meant to be excused by the fact that it's kink and fictional but might make some people uncomfortable. The story is patently ridiculous and even the "explanations" upon subsequent playthroughs don't make it any less silly. Most of the characters were really interesting if not likable (though there were a few that I really liked - the Nerd was a top fave) though a few were pretty flat stereotypes and didn't really seem to have enough content to justify their presence. I know I have to talk about That Scene since I'm reviewing this game too so I have to say: the m/f rape scene in the Ladykiller route was sickening even knowing that it had been changed to be skippable or avoidable completely. I felt awful reading it and I can't imagine what people must have felt like being blindsided by it in the original edition. It's been patched out now (the awful but significantly less so scene with the Boy is still included though) but it should never have been in a game advertised as "Six nights worth of explicit, consensual, kinky lesbian sex" in the first place.

Queen at Arms Genre: VN Rating: 8/10 Review: I really liked this one. The tactics parts were neat and I really liked that on most routes you could play a nonbinary protagonist if you wanted to (though they'd have some negative experiences with misgendering if you do). The game definitely felt big, with a lot of content and choices.

[thiskryptonite]

Good Company

Tagging: August Knight & Mikhail Cao @mikhailxcao

Time Frame: February 2nd, 2019 (Day 2 of Imbolc Festival)

Location: Gabaroche Farm (Imbolc Festival)

Word Count: 2036

Trigger Warning: Drinking & References to Violent Themes

Notes: August and Mikhail discuss the Sarau at the Imbolc Festival before sharing a few drinks and enjoying the shared company.

Mikhail

Mikhail was walking his back way from checking on Hart and trying to calculate how many hours he had to fill before he could leave when he caught sight of another familiar face. Perfect. Conversation tended to flow fairly easily around August and that could easily eat up some time, especially if they had any of those weird game-things around that the other was fond of. Stations, or … something. “Hello.” He stopped in front of the area the man was sitting in and pointed next to him. “Mind if I join you? I’m desperate for some company that doesn’t want to sell me things or talk about how good spring will be.” Truth be told, he hadn’t had reason to seek out August’s services - above or under the table lately and he wasn’t all that surprised to find he was curious what the other had gotten up to in his absence. “Find any interesting treasures lately?” It was a safe topic, probably, and he easily fell back into people-watching as he took his seat, hands immediately burrowing into his jacket because he may be dead but he still felt chill. He’d always been the type to get cold easily and had so hoped vampirism would lift that curse, but it did not. “Bigger turnout than I expected.” He added belatedly, drink beginning to settle in and make him a little fuzzy before he turned his full attention back to August and whatever story he’d share.

August

Mikhail was a welcome sight, and one that August hadn’t seen for weeks. Not at all unusual, but as it was Imbolc, August was a little surprised to see the vampire out and about. The old shut-in had been on August’s mind, particularly as of late after their last discussion. The question brought a familiar smile to his face and a smile lightened his otherwise contrite features. These sorts of festivities weren’t usually his style, but the people-watching aspect had always been nice. August leaned easily where he sat, propping himself up on his elbow as his traditional garb hung off of him liberally. “Like you wouldn’t believe,” August smiled, “The High Queen of the Fae invited me to one of her parties just so she could take my friend hostage and use her as leverage to have me go on a treasure hunt for her.” August had no interest in keeping the woman’s secrets, besides, that wasn’t part of their deal. “She was after an obsidian chalice, one with the power to grant a human immortality. You’d have liked it, it was a pretty thing.” He took another drink, probably a little drunk at this point. “Is it too early to retire?”

Mikhail

Mikhail felt his own mood boost a little at the easy smile he got upon his appearance. It was always nice when people were visibly happy to have you crash their previous solitude. And it banished any guilt over dropping down next to him and stealing his attention. Although, to be fair, August nearly immediately stole his attention bringing up the High Queen and hostages and pretty cups. That was a whole lot all at once and part of him was caught trying to figure out how the fuck the High Queen got involved with any of this - was she here too? But eventually he got out the polite, “Is your friend okay?” while trying to narrow down his dozens of rapidly growing questions to just the important ones. “The Queen is here?” He settled on, followed immediately by, “Why would fae want to make humans immortal?” From his experience, the humans weren’t exactly looked upon favorably from the fae he knew, but then again. If there’s going to be a supernatural war against whatever was holding them here, better to throw immortal humans at it than risk the dwindling numbers of fae. Maybe it wasn’t that surprising. But the Queen. Fuck. Mikhail had known it was someone else’s call to burn the church and Dresden was just doing as Dresden did but - fuck. What did that even mean? A war between them? Did she blame the vampires for them being stuck here? None of it made sense. But the last question made him laugh and glance up at the sky. “Uh, probably. I’m not sure it’s after noon yet but would they notice? I mean, you are quite tall and that, but they’re not like taking a roll call to make sure you attend all the events, right?” Grinning, he patted around for his flask and offered a shrug. “I can cover for you, if you need. Work emergency.”

August

August tried to think, contemplation heavy across his face. He could guess why the Queen would want to keep such a thing out of the reach of humans, it was of course a matter of what would have to go into that cup. But the witch couldn't say, there was some personal stake in revealing that much. "She's fine, she's probably here somewhere." August smiled easily, there was some theatrics, of course, "she's resilient." His brow furrowed for a moment, "well, in the Faerielands, at her Court." August's eyes moved towards Mikhail easily at the vampire's follow-up question, Mik was a Cupiditas vampire - most emotionally connected to humans or however that stereotype was supposed to go. He would have thought it'd be obvious to him. "I think her idea is to keep it out of mortal hands, it's a dark artifact, and by keeping it to herself she can make sure nobody uses it." "I meant from this business of objects," August teased, "I am enjoying myself - or at least the refreshments - far too much to leave now."

Mikhail

Resiliency was important. Mikhail was glad somewhere probably that the other was around and fine and walking. Mostly, his thoughts were dominated by trying to figure out what the fuck the Queen was playing at and if it’d be safer to just keep his head down. Probably. He hadn’t realized the faerielands could be accessed through Ashbourne and didn’t quite understand why any of the fae stayed in town then but to each their own and all that. Something about someone pulling strings hidden from them made him supremely uncomfortable but there was little he could do about it. He was just a trapped vampire. A slow eyebrow raise accompanied the witch’s explanation and he merely just tilted his head before taking another sip. “Have you ever met a fae before that night?” Concern for humanity was never high on the list of any fae he’d ever met and he highly doubted this was done as an act of protection, but whatever August had to tell 

August

August thought about Mikhail’s words for a moment, he knew that for a vampire, the blood of the fae was a potent aphrodisiac, but somehow the witch imagined that was not what was not behind the nature of Mikhail’s question. He could think of at least 3 off the top of his head, but there were more in town. The concentration of supernatural energies made it difficult to discern between the species, but there were definitely more fae than he’d been introduced to. “A few in town, one outside, but they were always glamoured, I don’t think she intends to protect it, but fae blood is needed to complete the ritual. If there’s anything I learned about her, it’s that she wants to protect her own.” August took another drink before he moved to sit down, suddenly feeling a bit lightheaded. “Sorry, I don’t mean to you know - go off - about this. But, specifically, I think I drank too much wine.” 

Mikhail

Fae blood was needed…in the ritual to make humans immortal? Well, then. That was even more foolish to have taken the object. Two birds one stone. Grab the cup and a fae. One stop shopping. Oh, he had perhaps drunk a bit too much. The idea was hysterical to him but he wisely decided to not share it out loud. A few fae in town. Likely, that included Dresden and Mikhail thought about bringing it up but what purpose would it serve? He did not wish to spend the rest of his afternoon musing and fuming so he just lifted a shoulder as the witch apologized and glanced back over the turnout. “It’s okay. I’m always happy to hear you talk about whatever it is that has got you going, you know that.” Mikhail teased. “At least I know more about fae than…those games you spoke of before.” But growing momentarily serious, Mikhail reached out to pat August’s knee. “I am glad you’re okay though. I can’t remember if it I said it. S’not many I’d miss in this town but … you, I would.”

August

August sighed, a little easier now, his sounding board seemed to think it was more or less not that big of a deal, though he wondered what the vampire would do with the information. He’d hope that the man would keep August’s name from any retelling of the story, but only time would tell. “Do you know very many fae?” August asked, surprised that Mikhail would know many at all. He remembered the Queen’s expressed hatred of the species. It had been irritating him immediately, because the first people August had thought of when he received the letter, he couldn’t bring. Not that Aria hadn’t been fun, but somehow he’d felt like one of those kids in high school who had to bring their cousin to the prom. “It’s a shame you couldn’t have been there, you would have been amazed it was...” August’s eyes went starry for a moment, the earthen kingdom of the fae court was extravagant but the word did not do it justice. “Fountains of gold and silver, dancing unlike any I’ve ever seen, displays of magic and power and wealth and the food. Honestly if I were a fae I would never leave.” He smiled, and also the sex. “it was like the craziest art party I’d ever seen.”

Mikhail

Mikhail gave a small smile at the question before growing distracted by something moving through the air. Or the air…moving? Could he see air? Had he tried before? Maybe it was another quirk of vampiric aging but he pushed past the swirls of color to try and find August’s face again. What had they been talking about? Fae. Yes. “Some of my favorite people are fae.” He shared. “But then again some of my favorite people are witches. And humans. I truly am terrible at being a vampire.” Part of him didn’t want to hear it and part of him was ravenous for details. He hated there was a place Dresden could go without him - a place he couldn’t even fault Dresden for going without him but at least it was worth it. “It sounds…amazing.” Mikhail decided finally, a bit embarrassed by how much sadder the phrase came out than he intended and drunk/potentially rapidly aging him shuffled a little closer to August. He didn’t want to be sad or alone and just found his glass again to knock against the witches. “Happy Imbolc. And to…new beginnings and all that."

August

At least one of his favourite people were fae, but August could not say he really knew many. Still it wasn’t much of a surprise, August was glad however, that for however long the vampire had been in Ashbourne it hadn’t segregated him from other species. The nature of the town seemed to pit them against each other, but for a festival like this at least they could still enjoy the company of others. “Well, I for one am glad you don’t fit into whatever niche vampire stereotype you’re talking about - cuz how boring would that be?” August asked as he playfully nudged his friend with his shoulder. He could stay like this for a while still, August was in no great rush if Mikhail wasn’t. “It was, but I’m glad to be home.” He sighed once more at the sight of the festival that his people had put on. “Happy Imbolc, Mik”

END