#it's ok I think her fashion statement is still very effective

[flufflecat]

my new personality trait is collecting things with hearts on them and pretending that it counts as a personality trait

[melyaliz]

Remember Me 9

Master List

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Notes: I'm due in a little over a month... and it's the weirdest feeling.

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--------Olive---------

“Oh my god, I can’t breath” Olive giggled, crumbling into Eliott’s lap. Her husband smiled down at her gently playing with her hair.

“This is serious Olive!” Eliott said, his smile melting away to a very strained serious one. His dark brown eyes studying her face, “it’s the greatest story ever told. Guy dates a woman, woman’s ex is a mob boss who is involved in an illegal fashion, mob boss’s daughter almost gets killed. Now the guy must use his skills from the years of being in the other four movies to get revenge on his girlfriend’s daughter’s father. Tale as old as time “

“I’m just saying they should have killed the guy and the daughter could have gone full ninja killer and taken out her father and his gang.” Olive giggled, wiping her eyes from the tears of laughter that had been rolling down her cheeks.

“That would probably have been a better movie… but would it also have bad dummy shots?” her husband asked.

“Of course” sitting up inspiration struck, “I have an idea!” Eliott watched her as she sat straight up. “You write the action and I will write the romance.”

“How much romance will there be if the daughter is 12 years old.”

“Well romance and character stuff.” she shrugged, “And you can add in all the poorly done dummy blow-ups you want.”

“I will,” Eliott said nodded, “But only if I can use sex dolls.”

“Like, Hard Ticket to Hawaii? Oh, wait! Now hear me out” Olive giggled scooting up so she was now straddling her husband taking his hands in her own. A goofy smile spread across Eliott’s face as he weaved his fingers into her own.

“Oh are we at the wait stage of drunk Olive?”

“Shhhh” she giggled leaning forward slightly brushing her nose on his, “But really, this is serious.” Cleaning her throat for dramatic effect she continued, “a Hard Ticket to Hawaii Death Wish 4 crossover.”

“Oh girl,” Eliott said, his voice hitting a higher pitch on his girl . Olive giggled pushing herself forward so she was resting on his chest.

“I love you.”

“No way really?” Eliott gave a fake gasp  “That’s sooo weird because you know what? I love you too”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

“ So just be ready,” Kirishima said, prepping the gang, “She’s… the same but different. ”

The group nodded in unison, game faces ready for whatever was coming. And that something was slowly walking toward when in the form of Bakugou and Olive.

Right off the bat it was obvious something was off. While they were holding hands it looked unnatural. Bakugou’s shoulders were hunched and he seemed to be looking anywhere but at Olive who was talking in the city as if she had never walked down this street before. Her large hazel eyes taking in everything, mouth slightly open.

“Olive! Bakugou!” Kirishima said, waving. At the sound of his voice, Olive looked up and waved, a smile on her face as she looked over at the group of others standing with them. Her eyes intently taking everyone in as if searching for something that wasn’t there

“ Hello! ” she said as they both stood there awkwardly. Hands had been let go and now hanging at their sides. Limp as if unsure what to do.

There were a few more awkward nodes before Kirishima led them all inside toward the balcony seating, their usual stop. “T his place is amazing! ” Olive said looking around her eyes wide as she took in the atmosphere. Everyone froze as the blissfully unaware woman turned to her husband, “ How did you find this place Katsuki? ”

“ I didn’t, you did,” he said as everyone around him winched slightly. The awkwardness was so thick you could almost taste it, and it didn't taste good.

“Oh.” her voice soft as she bit her top lip looking down at her purple painted nails. She had found her polish that morning and had decided to try out the fun colors.

There was a long pause when Mina spoke up, “How’s Clare and Lilly and the others? ”

Olive blinked looking up, “ You know the girls? ”

“ Yeah, we have wine and Rupaul's Drag race nights. I think the last one we did was about a month ago wasn’t it? ” the last statement, more of a question than a comment.

“Uhhh” Olive shrugged unsure how to respond

“ She doesn’t remember it ” Kaminari mumbled to the little pinked haired girl. And again there was a lapse of awkwardness. Turning to Momo from across the table Olive pointed to her shirt.

“ I love your shirt so cute! ” she said, stumbling slightly over her words. Momo lit up pointing to the shirt that Olive had gotten Momo for the hero’s birthday. The words “Females are strong as hell” in English was written in script across the chest. She had gotten it because she always told Momo, who was the 4th hero and number 1 female, that she was the most badass out of everyone (and that ranking didn’t mean shit). Also, they were both addicted to “Unbreakable Kimmy Shimitt”

“Thank you, I’m Momo '' the dark-haired hero said, noticing how much Olive was struggling trying to piece together who was who. Before they had come Momo and her fiancee Shoto Todoroki had decided to treat her like they had met for the first time. “ and this is Shodo, my fiancee .”

“I’m Mina! ” Mina said quickly and everyone else followed suit with a quick round of introductions.

“Yeah, I have pictures ” Olive lit up at the introduction. “The fair.”

“What picture did you have ?” Momo asked, leaning forward.

“This one of the fair? ” Olive said, holding up the phone leaning over the table to hand her the phone. Watching them Kirishima chuckled leaning toward Bakugou.

“Why are they across the table from each other?”

Bakugou shrugged, rolling his eyes, not shocked by the poor seating choices. After coordinating this whole night was he really now in charge of seating as well?

“Oh, that was so fun. ” Momo smiled looking at the photo. Memories of her trip to the US where Olive had given her the grand tour.

“ Oh is that the American Fair? What other pictures do you have? Do you have the one from when we all went to that spa? Do you have the one of us in those masks making the peace sign? What about... ” Mina was bursting with questions going way too fast for Olive to keep up. The poor girl’s smile looked slightly strained as she tried to look like she was understanding more than every other word from the excited pink haired girl.

“You’re going to fast for her! ” Bakugou barked out noticing the very overwhelmed look in his wife’s eyes, “ She's still learning .”

“Oh sorry Olive” Mina whispered looking down at her hands feeling her face flush.

“Don’t yell at her.” Olive said good naturally in English nudging Bakugou playfully with her shoulder. The blonde looked like the wind had been knocked out of him her words cutting him harder than he wanted to admit. “Which picture did you want to see Mina?”

Before the pink girl could respond the waiter came up to introduce herself and take drink orders.  A look of desperation came over Olive’s face as she looked down at the menu. Anxiety quickly flooded her system. The social pressure of trying to be normal while navigating a language she was still learning was extremely stressful. And this was besides the fact she had no idea what was good here or what she would like to order. Did she had a regular drink here? If so, what was it?

Desperately she looked down at the Japanese characters as if they would suddenly jump out and give her all the answers.

A large hand slammed over the menu making Olive lookup. Bakugou’s intense red gaze met her hazel one.

“I’ll order for you,” he said softly in English, more of a statement than an offer. His red eyes studding her as if reading all her thoughts. She smiled softly at him making him flush slightly looking away from her to the waiter ordering quickly.

“Thank you” she whispered, her hand gently brushing against his arm. Her fingertips leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. It felt like her touch was fire.

Quickly he rubbed his arm as if he could put out the flames that were licking at his skin.

Fuck. He had it bad.

“Yeah well you looked so lost.” he grumbled looking away turning to Kirishima who was intently watching the conversation with the most annoying smile on his face. “ What are you looking at? ” Struggling Kirishima’s annoying smirk didn’t fade but he offered no explanation for his expression.

Typical.

Lucky for Bakugou the conversation shifted to other things. Work, life, weird food Kaminari had tried last week on his trip to Bermuda.

Olive quickly picked up her conversation with Momo about the place she was looking into for her wedding and life in general. Since they were - as Kirishima had pointed out- sitting across the table from each other, Olive had to basically lean up over the top of the table to shout of the music that was playing in the background.

Bakugou couldn’t help but frown watching as his wife literally looked like she was crawling over. Her eyes bright as the two talked. It was the most enthusiastic she had been in a long time.

“If you want to be with her so bad go sit over there, ” he said, it came out much harder than he had meant it to be. But he was annoyed and sometimes -ok most times- had a hard time masking his emotions. Olive blinked looking up at him confused for a moment before getting up from her seat moving over - much to Momo’s delight- to sit down next to her. He could see her pulling out her phone probably to show off pictures of Dolemite. Or maybe to ask more about the people who littered it. He could tell she felt awkward about asking him those questions. Knowing it hurt.

But also he wanted her next to him. To feel her next to him. To know she was still there with him.

“ OMG I love this song !” Mina squealed as a song came on.

“ Let’s dance, ” Momo said, getting up knowing Olive loved to dance. Normally she was the one dragging the girls onto the floor. At the promise of dancing Olive lit up as she stood to follow them. However before she left she glanced over at Bakugou, as if checking in with him.

“Why are you looking at me? Go!”

Olive flashed him a wide smile before following the girls into the crowd. The other two girls grabbed her laughing as they swayed with the music. Not having to talk just laughing and enjoying each other’s company. The universal girl code of good music and alcohol.

Three songs later and she was slowing down, taking a moment to breathe looking around the dance floor.

And that was when she thought she saw him.

Long blonde hair pulled up in a man bun. A basic flannel shirt, on the shorter side with broad shoulders leaning on the bar, his back to her.

Eliott

Her brain zoned in on it, for a second she forgot he was dead. Forgot he was gone.

That first month after his death she saw him everywhere. Heard his laugh. Sensed his presence. Slowly it had gotten better. His presence slowly fading from the bright sun of the day to the dark of night or in those first moments when she was waking up. And even more recently his presence had slowly faded. Her brain too busy trying to understand this whole new life she was living to focus on the loss.

But as the man turned and she saw it was clearly not him something washed over her. Hit her right in the face crushing her inside.

She didn’t even realize she was crying until Momo came up and hugged her.

“What happened?” she whispered in English as Olive raised her hands to her face trying to stop the tears. But they wouldn’t stop. Her chest so heavy it felt like her whole body was filled with sadness and the only way out was through her tears.

“I just… I thought… I saw Eliott.” she hiccuped, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Momo asked, frowning as she studied Olive. Mina, whose English was not as good, hovered around them both rubbing Olive’s shoulder trying to understand what had happened.

“I just… can't stop crying.” Olive sobbed trying to take deep breaths to gain control of herself.

“It’s been a lot for you.” Momo said, “come here” she hugged the girl for a moment before pulling away.

“ It’s ok to miss someone. ” Mina said, holding out a napkin she had grabbed from the bar.

“Yeah and for you it’s been very recent.”  Monmo added nodding

“I just feel guilty… Katsuki.” Olive fumbled through the words trying to explain all the emotions that were swerling like some muddy concoction in her chest.

“ Oh Bakugou can get over it. ” Momo said, waving her hand trying to keep her words simple so both girls could understand what she was saying, “ he gets all moody but he really cares about you. ”

“ Yeah, the first time I met you he was so… relaxed. ” Mina said, trying to find the right words, “ None of us had ever seen him that way before. ”

“ He was happy. ” Momo nodded, “ He will be fine, you need to focus on yourself.”

From across the bar Bakugou had lost sight of where the girls had gone. The crowd was getting thicker and thicker as the night had dragged on. He knew Olive would be safe with Momo and Mina there but still, he wanted to make sure she was ok.

And then he caught a glimpse of them. Standing at one of the far corners of the dance floor. Momo and Mina standing over Olive, hovering around her with concern on their faces. For a moment Mina moved and he could see Olive clearly, holding a small white napkin wiping her eyes.

Shit.

“ Hey bro where are you ?”

“ Just drink your beer. ” Bakugou interrupted Kirishima as he quickly made his way to the dance floor. Momo’s eyes met his and she shook her head but he didn’t care. Olive wasn’t Momo’s wife, she was his. They were supposed to be distracting her, not reminding her about her memory loss.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out for her. Olive turned eyes wide, still slightly glassy from her tears. Her makeup smudged. “Dance with me.” pulling her away from the girls who looked like they were about to protest. But one death glare from Bakugou told them not too.

He led her across the floor, his red eyes studying her as she took a few shaky breaths. Trying to compose herself. After a few moments her body slowly relaxed letting him lead as he felt her slowly lose herself in the music again.

“You dance?” she asked looking up at him.

“Depends.” he said shrugging

“Humm” she hummed, nodding like Eliott was what she was thinking. Eliott Eliott Eliott. Even Momo got more out of her than him. He felt like she was more comfortable around everyone but him. “You know” she said leaning forward resting her head on his chest catching him off guard. “I like to be with you too.”

He froze, his stomach clutching tightly, his breath coming out in a short gasp. She looked up at him with those hazel eyes studying him. “What you said about Momo, I like being with you too.”

“I heard you the first time” he said sharply only to soften quickly.

“I… I obviously liked being with you before or I wouldn’t have married you.” she added a genuine grin spreading across her face.

“That would make sense.” He said nodding as they swayed in the music both caught up in their own thoughts. Eyes meeting, dancing in the lights overhead. For a second it felt as if time stood still and Olive was sworn she wasn’t in real life but in some weird musical romcom. As if her whole life was some televised novel filled with hi-jinks and drama.

Caught up in the moment Bakugou gently leaned forward, his nose brushing hers before pausing. Her heart leapt into her throat at the soft intimate touch. Crimson eyes searching hazel for a moment before moving closer, his warm breath caressing her ear.

“Let me kiss you?”

- GET TAGGED -

Master List

Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm

[thecrownnet]

What The Crown cast look like in real life

Cosmopolitan October 19, 2020

The countdown to the fourth series of Netflix's The Crown is on. While the likes of Olivia Colman and Josh O'Connor are returning as Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles, the new series (which begins around 1977) also sees the introduction of Margaret Thatcher and Princess Diana. We already know who's taking on the roles (oh hey Gillian Anderson and Emma Corrin), and we've also had our first glimpse at them in action. But what do The Crown cast look like next to their characters on the show?

olivia colman as queen elizabeth in the crown season 4

Despite nailing the third series, Olivia Colman recently opened up to The Mirror about how she worried people wouldn't like her version of the Queen.

"It’s much harder to play ­people that everyone has a vision of, a picture of, and has ideas about,” she said. “I’ve never joined a show that’s already been up and running and successful, but I was such an enormous fan that I didn’t really think about it.”

olivia colman in real life

She continued that she was even more anxious that the actual Queen wouldn't like her portrayal, adding, "There is much more pressure when you’re playing someone who is still living, and you have this fear that they’re watching it and won’t like it.”

gillian anderson as margaret thatcher in the crown season 4

Speaking of the role, Gillian said, "I am so excited to be joining the cast and crew of The Crown and to have the opportunity to portray such a complicated and controversial woman."

gillian anderson in real life

She continued, "Thatcher was undoubtedly formidable but I am relishing exploring beneath the surface and, dare I say, falling in love with the icon who, whether loved or despised, defined an era."

tobias menzies as prince phillip in the crown season 4

When Tobias landed the role for series 3, he said, "I'm thrilled to be joining the new cast of The Crown and to be working with Olivia Colman again. I look forward to becoming her 'liege man of life and limb."

tobias menzies in real life

Speaking of Prince Phillip's personality, Tobias told Vulture interview, "There’s a heat to him. There’s a pent-up energy. A suppression. An alpha maleness that has had to be diverted in different directions."

helena bonham-carter at princess margaret in the crown season 4

Speaking at the Cheltenham Literature festival in 2019, Helena revealed she sought Princess Margaret's blessing before taking on the role in The Crown.

"She [Princess Margaret] said, apparently, she was glad it was me. My main thing when you play someone who is real, you kind of want their blessing because you have a responsibility.

"So I asked her: ‘Are you OK with me playing you?’ and she said: ‘You’re better than the other actress’ … that they were thinking of. They will not admit who it was. It was me and somebody else."

helena bonham-carter in real life

Helena recently revealed a crucial scene from the Netflix original was her idea. She explained how her Princess Margaret character sympathised with Princess Diana, explaining, "She saw Diana being picked up by the press as she was, and she was taken as a fashion template."

josh o'connor as prince charles in the crown season 4

"Seasons 3 and 4 will follow some of the most turbulent events in the Prince of Wales's life and our national story and I'm excited to be bringing to life the man in the midst of it all," Josh O'Connor said about the role.

josh o'connor in real life

The actor also told Vulture that Season 4 is "very much the Diana and Charles years, and particularly focusing on what happened there and the ramifications of that going forward."

emma corrin as princess diana in the crown season 4

“Beyond excited and honoured to be joining The Crown for its fourth season," Emma said in a statement released by Netflix. "I have been glued to the show since the first episode and to think I’m now joining this incredibly talented acting family is just surreal."

emma corrin in real life

Emma continued, "Princess Diana was an icon, and her effect on the world remains profound and inspiring. To be given the chance to explore her through Peter Morgan’s writing is the most exceptional opportunity, and I will strive to do her justice!”

erin doherty as princess anne in the crown season 4

Speaking of how she adapted for the role, Erin told Town and Country the hardest thing about playing Anne was the voice. “For me, ultimately, it was about the voice because it is so different from mine.

"I had to make sure that was on point. So I walked around speaking as her, trying not to look too crazy. And honestly, the more I did it, naturally it became a subconscious thing.”

erin doherty in real life

“What I love about her is that she is so brutally honest with her feelings,” she told Harper’s Bazaar, saying she would be terrified if Anne didn’t like her portrayal.

“But I genuinely like to think that we’ve done her justice. I feel like a lot of people, like me, will learn so much about her, and fall in love with her as much as I have. I think she’s this incredibly strong, powerful, determined woman, and I really do believe that people are going to be like, ‘Oh, my God, I never knew this about her.’”

emerald fennell as camilla parker-bowles in the crown season 4

Reprising the role of Camilla Parker-Bowles is Emerald Fennell, who briefly appeared in the last instalment. The 33-year-old actress said in a statement about joining the show: "I'm absolutely over-the-moon and completely terrified to be joining so many hugely talented people on The Crown."

emerald fennell in real life

She continued, "I absolutely love Camilla, and am very grateful that my teenage years have well prepared me for playing a chain-smoking serial snogger with a pudding bowl haircut."

marion bailey as queen elizabeth, the queen mother, in the crown season 4

Speaking about embodying The Queen Mother in the show, Marion explained to Meaww, "The Queen Mother was certainly multi-faceted. She’d had some tragedies in life with the death of brothers during the First World War and of course the relatively early death of her husband. She’d married her husband without any idea that she would one day become Queen, but she certainly stepped up to the plate and got on with a job that she probably never wanted."

marion bailey in real life

The actress continued, "Most challenging for me was finding her physically. I have to say that I was enormously helped by the brilliant costume and make-up teams. The Queen Mother was somewhat better endowed than myself and so a glorious bra was made for me, which I understand is stuffed with lentils and birdseed! Once that’s on, I feel I’ve got her shape. I only need to avoid standing too near a bird table. I’ve also got a great wig and first-rate make up artist."

[jippy-kandi]

Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna Movie Review

I've seen the film. It was pretty good! Spoilers under the cut.

So, before I watched it, I did read a few bits and pieces of random spoilers. However, I did NOT read the novel – because I wanted to judge the film on its own merits and not be thinking about “what the novel did better”. But I knew things like most characters were sidelined, who the villain was, and how the movie ends. I still have not read the novel.

This is not a “proper” review of the movie -- because what’s the fun in that? You can google actual reviews of the movie by anime websites, if that’s what you’re after. These are just my personal thoughts, impressions and fangirl ramblings (I bias Yamato hard). Plus, a few comments from two others I went to the screening with for a different perspective.

It was like nerd city at the movie theatre, LOL. So. Many. Nerds. Some people even brought Digimon plush toys to the screening! I’ve never witnessed that before. It was great though, being surrounded by so many Digimon fans. I think the cinema was more than half full -- and this was an 800-seat cinema! 400+ Digimon fans? Whoa! I actually thought like only 20 people would show up, LOL.

I tried to put the following thoughts in “order” but some of it isn’t due to the nature of what they’re about . . . plus, I couldn’t 100% remember what order the scenes were in.

Screen time distribution (most to least): Taichi/Yamato, Koushirou, the 02 kids (roughly: Takeru, Hikari, Daisuke, Miyako, Ken, Iori), Mimi, Jou, a hamburger, a whistle, a beer, Sora. (Sora got shafted hard.)

Taichi was exactly just Taichi, which is 1000x better than tri. Taichi. He really did seem like a 22-year-old version of Adventure Taichi, beer-drinking and porn-watching and all. Thank you, Toei. Please don’t fuck him up in the reboot. (Although maybe that’s the idea?)

Yamato is the coolest motherfucker on a motorcycle. He looked SO DAMN GOOD in this movie. There were even a few gratuitous shots of his arse for no apparent reason, LOL. Or maybe that’s just me thinking, whenever he’s bending over or his back’s to us, “That’s a nice arse.” XD (HE IS THE ONLY 2D CHARACTER I THIRST FOR, I PROMISE. I’m actually engaged to Jungkook of BTS.)

Koushirou was the same old Koushirou we all know and love, doing smart stuff and generally being useful. He has no pointed interest in clothes or girls (Koumi began and died in tri., you guys). When it was shown that he was a company president, some people in the audience laughed, lol.

Takeru was pretty bland. I guess tri. Takeru will always be the definitive Takeru to me. This Takeru definitely evolved straight from 02 Takeru (who was also bland AF). But he was fine? I miss overly confident, charming Takeru. Also, where was your crush on your big bro??? lol

Hikari . . . was also fine? I don’t have much to say about her. I like tri. Hikari better (because she was cute? *shallow*). This Hikari was just serviceable. I think because everyone really is just playing second fiddle to Taichi and Yamato, they didn’t really add charms to the other characters. They just . . . serve the plot. And it seemed, at the beginning of the movie, that Takeru and Hikari were going to be in it a lot -- but they have most of their scenes in the first third-ish of the movie before disappearing until the end.

Daisuke was also exactly the same. But I’ve never been a fan of him, nor do I hate him (though he did get on my nerves in 02 sometimes . . .). I just don’t care about him, or any of the 02 kids, personally. :P

I don’t think Ken had a personality in this movie, LOL. He was fine, though. Serviceable. I’m sorry I lack opinions here, but there really wasn’t much to go on. He has no Kaiser issues or anything, he just seems like a normal, well-adjusted kid . . . with no personality, lol.

Iori didn’t have a personality either -- but everyone has always known that. Ha! XP He is just an extra reading lines. I found it odd that he seems so short though? I kept thinking he was still a 9-year-old because of the height difference between him and the others . . . I think Toei forgot that HE IS 17 AND THUS SHOULD BE VERY CLOSE TO FULL ADULT HEIGHT. Puberty is amazing, Toei! (Yeah, he can just be a really short person, I know. I wouldn’t have made that design choice, though. Especially when he’s short compared to Daisuke . . . who is short compared to Yamato . . . and Iori really is a midget.)

Miyako . . . it’s probably due to her voice actress, but she was SO LOUD. And I found her annoying because of it. In fact, she was the only annoying character in the movie to me. Loud people can be charming . . . but I didn’t find her charming. Sorry, Miyako fans. =\

Mimi has an e-commerce startup at 21, lol. OK, you go girl. She was definitely shafted, but she was in it a bit more than Jou I think, and definitely more than poor Sora. Probably a few minutes? Yeah, not a lot, especially compared to Taichi and Yamato. In one of her (four?) scenes, she loses consciousness and ends up in the hospital -- and Taichi, Koushirou and Jou are in her hospital room when Yamato bursts in and goes, “Jou!” You know, instead of acknowledging Mimi, THE COMATOSE FRIEND IN THE HOSPITAL BED. I just found it funny that’s how they chose to frame that scene. :P

Jou only had a few lines, but he was still in it more than Sora. But he is really just a doctor here. He could’ve been an extra hired for a doctor role and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, lol. Oh, Toei, please give all the characters almost-equal screen time in the reboot? Please???

Sora had like four lines and thirty seconds of screen time, TOTAL. I think the decision to hold her back from THE ENTIRE PLOT was SOLELY to have the scene where she reacts to Taichi blowing the whistle, so you know that the sound is going out of Neverland and reaching the real world (or whatever dramatic effect they were going for). I really think that’s it. That, or her voice actress did something terrible to Toei and they’re punishing her. :P

The movie basically opens up with Parrotmon attacking. Takeru was the first to be shown, then Hikari, then Taichi. Taichi is wearing those special goggles Koushirou made for him and he looked goofy AF lol. At one point, Greymon tackles Parrotmon into a building where you see some people inside running away from the rubble. My sister said (without knowing anything about tri.): “Does Tai not care that his digimon definitely just killed some people in that building?” I chuckled because . . . well. ;)

Yamato enters the scene COOL AS FUCK on his motorcycle (most of his entrance is shown in a clip that Toei released) and thank you Toei for doing that for him. He deserves a showy entrance. :) Although I do find it funny that he’s obsessed with motorcycles, given I still remember giggling as a kid at him NOT liking riding on the back of some guy’s scooter in Digimon: The Movie.

The music was nice and nostalgic and I have no complaints.

There is a quick scene of Yamato seeing a kid in a music store getting a harmonica, and watching a street performer singing. Obviously he’s thinking about his passion for music as a kid/teen (and his childhood in general?) and it was a nice touch. I think by the end of the movie you would’ve understood that Yamato was letting go of his past (childhood) and heading towards the future (adulthood).

A friend of Yamato’s makes a comment to him that Japan’s Self-Defense Forces are going to recruit him into the military due to his experience as a Chosen Child. Yamato replies, “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard”. BUT . . . this is Kizuna telling you EXACTLY what is going to happen, lol. I actually “predicted” Yamato’s career path years ago -- but it wasn’t hard, as there is really only two ways it could’ve gone, lol. Military test pilot or commercial air pilot -- which one, especially given the context Kizuna just gave us, is more likely? ;)

Yamato is shown wearing GLASSES in class (looking nerd-hot AF). Toei Animation must not have researched Yamato’s astronaut career as intensively as I did, and therefore did not know that astronauts need 20/20 vision lol. Oh well, he can get it corrected. :p (Or, he doesn’t actually need glasses but WEARS THEM AS A FASHION STATEMENT. Because I can believe that. XD)

I think Yamato had about three different outfits in the movie? And he looked good in all of them. Are there people out there who think he’s not fashionable? I'd find that opinion strange, given the fact that the staff behind 02 and tri. were actively designing him as the well-dressed cool guy of the group. He wears exactly the kind of clothes the well-dressed cool guys at my high school/university wore. Sure, sometimes they force green tops on him purely for nostalgic reasons and it therefore clashes -- there is only so much you can do with a green top -- but overall, he is supposed to come across as someone who cares about his appearance. If you don’t think so, you’re either not into fashion or you aren’t aware of 2005-2010 fashion as a teen/young adult. (If Yamato was a millionaire, I’m sure he’d dress identical to BTS with super expensive clothes lol. But he dresses very well for a “normal” person. :p)

Taichi was shown with two of his friends who were asking him about his aspirations or something, and the guy looked like an unattractive nerd. My sister said: “I didn’t like how they showed Tai with sloppy friends, but showed Matt with good-looking people.” LOL. Her favourite as a kid was Taichi, BTW. XD;

Menoa and Imura were . . . OK characters. Menoa seemed likeable enough at first, but when her real intentions were revealed she turned into a typical, crazy, possessed villain. Imura was really just there to service the plot, like a necessary extra on set. There was nothing more to him.

Menoa’s English is terrible. And it’s very noticeable because she inserts random English words into her Japanese sentences, lol. I laughed when Koushirou told her that her Japanese is very good (because SHE IS ACTUALLY FLUENT IN JAPANESE . . . and not so much in English). Yes, I know it’s because it’s a Japanese voice actress -- but it was still funny every time she spoke heavily accented English, followed by fluent Japanese. :P

Menoa’s partner digimon, Morphomon, was cute in design. Eosmon was the villain digimon and was Menoa’s attempt at recreating Morphomon, who disappeared on her. Does this sound kind of familiar? lol

Omegamon devolves into Koromon and Tsunomon when fighting against Eosmon. Back in Koushirou’s office, Menoa explains that you only have a limited amount of time with your digimon before they disappear and that fighting accelerates it. Taichi has a circle of lights on his digivice that lose a bar of light every time he fights with Agumon. When the lights all disappear, Agumon will disappear. Koushirou and Takeru look at their digivices to check if they’ve got it – they don’t, and they are relieved. Yamato then checks his and . . . well. He has it. His eyes start watering and he storms out of the room saying something along the lines of his bond with Gabumon will not be broken. I FUCKING LOVED THIS SCENE. Top 3 in the movie for me, personally. We all have weaknesses. Emo Yamato is mine, lol. I like it when he gets so emotional he cries in front of other people. :3

The “porn stash” scene with Agumon at Taichi’s apartment was HILARIOUS. The funniest scene of the movie. Everyone in the cinema laughed so hard. It was Taichi’s reaction that sold it -- it was BRILLIANT. The magazines actually had girls on the cover wearing bikinis, so, at least Agumon kept his innocence! lol

Gennai randomly appears in Taichi’s apartment to confirm the thing everyone should’ve always known (but that they just made up for Kizuna and which DEFINITELY led to “creative differences” with Digimon series director Hiroyuki Kakudou). This, of course, would be the whole idea that the more you “grow up”, the more your bond with your partner digimon breaks until, eventually, they disappear. Does the idea have problems? Yep. Menoa lost her partner digimon Morphomon at age 14 because she decided to accelerate her learning and go to university . . . meanwhile, Koushirou is the president of his own freaking company and still has Tentomon by his side. Yeah, OK, Kizuna. And, sure, you can argue that it’s about BECOMING AN ADULT -- but I think you’d just be drawing lines where YOU want to draw them. How mature is 14-year-old Menoa to be an “adult”? Is Koushirou really not mature enough at 21? And what about Jou, who I definitely think is an adult in all sense of the word? And so on. So arguments about this I think are valid, but at the same time . . . it’s Digimon. I think it’s a flawed idea but I also just shrug and accept it as it is, lol.

I “love” how Gennai just pops in when it’s convenient to the plot. Hello Gennai, what’s dark Gennai up to? Have you seen him around licking underaged girls anywhere? No? You’re just popping by to confirm shit to Taichi? OK, cool. See you in the tri. sequel, never. (He actually does give Taichi a reasonable answer as to why the growth/bond thing was never brought up before: that it’s like talking about how long you have to live. I bought it.)

Yamato is basically the reason the 02 kids are even in the movie, lol. He asks them to investigate Imura and Menoa for him and they do so. They contact him later on with info and they ask that he take them out for okonomiyaki (which is awful by the way, lol) as thanks and he smiles and says he can do that. This is just a nice exchange between them. :)

Yamato eventually confronts Imura (or is it the other way around, lol) and Imura HAS A GUN. Which was surprising to me because I remember that in the English dub, Puppetmon’s gun was censored, so seeing a gun in a Digimon movie was a little surprising. Anyway, Yamato doesn’t seem concerned by the fact that this dude can just shoot him dead, lol. Gabumon is with him, but still. Imura can still kill you before Gabumon kills him, you know. XD But it’s all good because Imura turns out to be an undercover FBI agent who wants to arrest Menoa, THE REAL VILLAIN. I was spoiled with this so no surprise.

There is a scene where Yamato has his hand tenderly on Takeru’s face because he lost consciousness. It was sweet, but I would’ve liked it more if Takeru had more of a personality in the film so I could actually care about him, lol. Yamato’s such a caring big brother, though. :)

Yamato was perfect in this movie. PERFECT. I had a few issues with his characterisation in tri. (I think he was, overall, about 80% Yamato), but he was ALL YAMATO, ALL THE TIME here. He is my favourite fictional character of all time, so DEAL WITH THE BIAS. I love him and, honestly, Yamato>Taichi all day, every day. I totally understand you, Sora. DON’T @ ME TAICHI STANS. XP

The ONLY minor quibble I had was that Yamato asks Taichi if they should really try to save the other kids, because fighting means it speeds up their bonds breaking. My quibble is: YAMATO IS NOT FUCKING SELFISH. He’s SO selfless. He would fight to save the other kids NO QUESTIONS, even if it meant he’s accelerating the destruction of his bond with Gabumon. But I give this scene a huge pass because it basically had to go like that, because ONE person out of Taichi/Yamato had to be reluctant so that the OTHER person pushes forward and has a “hero” moment. And who’s going to get that “hero” moment? The actual hero and MAIN CHARACTER of Digimon, Taichi, of course. SO I GET IT. I even agree and would’ve written it that way too, for Taichi to be the leader and reassure Yamato that this is what they’re doing (unlike in tri. where Yamato 1000% deserved the mantle of LEADER and Taichi could’ve whinged off the edge of a cliff and I. WOULD. NOT. CARE.). BUT I will still rant about this 30 second scene in my blog and scream to the universe that Yamato Ishida is the most selfless fictional being on the face of the planet and you better fucking know it. :)

Menoa is Maki 2.0. As soon as Menoa is revealed as being behind the evil stuff, she is instantly psychotic. So Maki 2.0 she definitely is. But . . . I don’t really care. Could Toei have been more original? Yes. But I can’t be bothered to criticise them for recycling a plot, because I’d rather criticise tri. for doing it in the first place, LOL. OK, honestly? At least Menoa’s plot had an actual resolution, instead of Maki being revealed and then . . . fucking off out of the entire series so abruptly. Like??? Kizuna followed through with it, tri. did not. That’s why I’m OK with the rehash, because Kizuna did tri.’s plot better. (Maki’s plot would’ve been good if the tri. writers didn’t get lazy AF at the end and just . . . didn’t . . . finish it.) I might also be giving Kizuna a huge pass because it made me feel things, lol.

The movie really picks up after Menoa reveals her intentions and they end up in Neverland (a place she created in the Digital World?) where she claims all the Chosen Children can stay as children with their partner digimon forever. It became a lot more interesting after that. But that’s also near the climax, lol.

In Neverland, all the kids who have lost consciousness are in their child forms (from the first season) and are basically Menoa’s puppets. This was really cool; it not only gave you nostalgic feels to see them like that, but it was also pretty creepy to see them with glowing red eyes. The Chosen Children, as kids, attack Taichi and Yamato. I laughed when Patamon attacked Yamato’s face and Tentomon tackled Taichi, lol. But I have to say though that Sora’s absence was VERY glaring here. Because . . . everyone was there, but her. :(

Other Chosen Children from the past are present in Neverland too. I FREAKING SAW MICHAEL, MIMI’S AMERICAN FRIEND, STANDING BEHIND HER. I was so surprised at his appearance that I didn’t catch anyone else. There were definitely others, but I didn’t make them out at all because I was so caught off-guard with Michael. XD; (I DON’T EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM, LOL.)

Someone said that Taichi called out Meiko’s name in the movie . . . well, I’m pretty sure that Yamato does, and he calls her by her last name, “Mochizuki”. This is when they’re in Neverland and Menoa shows them her “collection” of Chosen Children. Meiko pops up for one second. It was like Kizuna went, “Oh! Hey, tri. existed by the way. Now let’s move on.” lol

While being attacked by the Chosen “puppets” in Neverland, Taichi manages to reach his hand out and grab Hikari’s whistle and blow it -- effectively “waking” them all up from their puppet states. Everyone in the cinema got hit with audible FEELS, because when Taichi blew Hikari’s whistle the screen flashbacked to that scene from the first movie. I found the collective audience reaction more powerful than the scene itself, lol. But I really liked it, too. :)

So while everyone else is in Neverland . . . SORA IS IN HER APARTMENT HUGGING PIYOMON. Thanks, Sora, you’re a real friend. *cough* After Taichi’s whistle blow, she intuitively knows what’s going on and says she believes in everyone . . . THANKS AGAIN, SORA, YOU CHEERLEADER. OK, look: I do think it is pretty selfish of Sora to choose not to fight. I understand all the reasoning behind it, I even think SHE DESERVES TO BE SELFISH FOR ONCE etc., and I am fine with it -- but I still think it’s selfish. Because it is. And that’s OK, nobody is perfect, and people are selfish from time to time. If only it wasn’t glaringly obvious that her selfishness happened only because Toei just wanted her out of the way for most of the film . . . her absence, as stated before, really was noticeable in scenes where literally everyone else was included but her. (I’d also just like to point out that her voice actress was STILL CREDITED THIRD after Taichi and Yamato in the ending credits. LOLing forever -- such little contribution, such big recognition. XD)

But don’t get me wrong, I love Sora. I really fucking do. Taichi used to be my second favourite character in Digimon for a long, long time -- but Sora managed to dethrone him from second place (fucking Yamato probably helped, LOL). I think, screen time-wise, Kizuna did her a bigger disservice than Our War Game did. Yes, let that sink in. Remember how little she was in that movie? It’s worse in Kizuna. But story-wise and character-wise? Kizuna probably did better, because Sora was angry over a hairclip in Our War Game lmao. If you haven’t already, check out her memorial story short “To Sora” that Toei Animation released online. It’s six minutes of Sora . . . which is 5 and a half more minutes than in Kizuna! XD;

There’s a scene where Agumon and Gabumon tell Taichi and Yamato that they like watching them grow up. It was very touching, but also very brief. It was one of my favourite moments though. It made me have quick flashbacks in my mind of itty bitty Taichi and Yamato growing up into who they are now. The enormity of everything they had been through since the first season. THE HISTORY. THE GROWTH. It hit me right in the feels.

Taichi and Yamato’s homoerotic-ness was actually toned down a lot, especially compared to tri.. They don’t have forced disputes where they get angry at each other and the gay sexual tension shoots through the roof. They’re just . . . friends. Two dudes who drink beer together and moan about their lives. The partnership between them and their digimon were the focus of the movie, more so than the friendship between them. I actually liked this, and I usually care more about the human connections over the human-digimon ones.

“Shipping moments” – if you squint hard enough. Takari: At the start, Takeru shields Hikari from harm. Sorato: While Taichi informs Yamato about the lives of some of the other Chosen Children, Yamato lets Taichi know what Sora is up to -- that she’s seriously studying flower arranging. Kenyako: Ken asks Miyako, and only Miyako, if she’s OK (when Daisuke is right next to her). Taiora: Sora says Taichi’s name when he blows the whistle in Neverland and she hears it all the way in the real world. (My sister legit whispered to me: “SHE DIDN’T SAY MATT’S NAME.” BITCH, he ain’t the one whistling! XP) Now, Digimon Adventure tri. shipbaited hard -- but Kizuna did not do this. All of these very small moments felt very organic and passed as if they were a natural part to the story, instead of something shoehorned in with the explicit purpose of shipbaiting. I really liked this approach. The Sorato one in particular (surprise, surprise) said a lot about Yamato’s relationship to Sora without being explicit about it. He knows what she’s up to when her childhood best friend doesn’t? Yeah, those two are definitely hooking up after classes. :P (I jest. But it does tell you with one sentence that Yamato and Sora keep in touch, which I appreciated. You gotta do that if you’re having babies together within the decade, you know?)

There were next to NO evolution sequences. I might remember it happening once or twice? Max. And . . . that was a REALLY lame choice. Especially when Agumon and Gabumon evolve to their newest forms; Taichi and Yamato are just floating with them up into the air and then, poof, the new evolutions are shown. Google tells me they’re just called Agumon -Bond of Courage- and Gabumon -Bond of Friendship- respectively . . . they were not named in the movie. Here’s the thing: I don’t really care about digimon and evolutions. But it was so underwhelming; they really should’ve amped it up with an evolution sequence to be like HERE BE THESE NEW AWESOME FUCKING DIGIMON ‘bout to kick your arse. It seems like such a no-brainer that I really don’t know who would sign off on a evolution sequence not happening. Oh well. As for the designs? They are OK, but definitely could’ve been better. I think “cool AF” when I see Omegamon and all his forms. I don’t think that of these new evolutions lol. (But my sister liked them and thought they looked cool, so . . .)

Also . . . the fighting scenes in this movie were pretty bad. Very underwhelming. Our War Game and Diablomon Strikes Back did a lot better. I both like and dislike the animation style in Kizuna. I do actually like the art of it, like how it looks. But I kinda dislike how it’s actually animated, because it doesn’t really look like they’re moving fluidly enough. It’s a bit too choppy. I just expected the fighting/action scenes to be more exciting (I was hoping Our War Game-level) and of a higher standard. But they are not, unfortunately.

Everyone in the cinema audibly GASPED when Taichi and Yamato were just talking to Agumon and Gabumon after the final battle, and then they turned around and they . . . just . . . disappeared. And then Taichi and Yamato CRIED. SO. HARD. And I actually started repeating in my head, DO NOT CRY, DO NOT CRY, lol. I didn’t cry! Almost, though. :p I really loved this scene. And I really think, narratively, it would’ve worked A LOT better for the movie to end on this scene. The actual ending scene that comes after it felt a little too out of place and tacked on to me. More on that later.

There was a small smattering of applause at the end of the movie, lol. But I did not clap, because I find that weird. :p (Even though I clapped, alone in my house, when Parasite won Best Picture at the Oscars LOL.)

The ending credits showed different photos of the kids. Unfortunately, I . . . don’t really remember most of them. XD; I think I saw Sora arranging flowers? And maybe Daisuke and Ken having dinner? I definitely saw Iori doing kendo, because I thought it was cool. And the one photo I definitely remember for sure: Yamato standing in front of a space shuttle. I stan astronaut!Yamato so hard, you guys have no idea how happy it made me that he’s pursuing his dream omfg my little baby boy. XD;

This is definitely Taichi and Yamato’s movie. Everyone else is just playing supporting/cameo roles -- some more than others, as outlined way above. (Well, except Menoa I suppose . . . and Koushirou to the extent that he’s just needed to be the Digi IQ.) But if you’re NOT a fan of either Taichi or Yamato? I think, though you’ll probably love all the nostalgia bits, you’ll also be really disappointed -- especially considering this is supposed to be the final instalment of the original Adventure continuity. It’s a great “love letter” to Taichi and Yamato specifically, but not for the other characters, sadly.

I saw the movie with my sister (a non-fan who used to like it as a kid) and a friend (a casual fan now, but she used to like it a lot years ago). I’ll refer to them as “S”(ister) and “F”(riend), respectively.

After the movie ended:

S: “Did you cry? Because two guys beside me were literally sobbing. SOBBING.” *Judging.* (LMAO.)

What was our favourite part of the movie?

Top 3 scenes for me were Yamato storming off with his eyes watering when he realises his bond with Gabumon has an expiry; the brief “speech” Agumon and Gabumon give to Taichi and Yamato about wanting to see them grow up; and Taichi and Yamato crying at Agumon and Gabumon vanishing. EMO EMO EMO.

S: “Sora doing fuck-all.” (LMAO.) F: “Yeah! What was up with that? It’s like they forgot she even existed.” S: “Sora is just a cunt.” (Note: S has a dry sense of humour and isn’t really being malicious. BUT . . . I do think most viewers watching Kizuna would have a poor opinion of Sora in this movie . . .)

F: “I liked the 02 kids. I guess it was mostly Davis. And I liked when Veemon was riding on Armadillomon’s back and Wormmon was trailing behind. It was just this random thing but it was funny. Maybe I just like making fun of Wormmon.”

About the idea that growing up affects your bond with your digimon:

S: “What I took from it was that you shouldn’t grow up too fast. Cherish your childhood, cherish your memories. But, eventually, you do need to grow up.”

F: “I don’t understand how this whole “Digimon disappear when you grow up” thing wasn’t known. Weren’t there older people with Digimon before? You’d think they could have made a more specific threat that was just affecting their digimon, not be like, “Yeah this happens to everyone, it’s just a fact of life that we’ve never addressed before.” It felt a bit like they were telling the audience to grow up and get over Digimon.”

What would we rate the film?

I probably have to watch it again to give a definitive score, but at the moment, I give it about a 7/10. It was good, but not great. The last half was pretty great though -- it definitely started out slow (there was a lot of exposition via Menoa vomiting words). Is it better than tri.? Chapter 3: Confession, no. Confession is better, I think, but I also haven’t seen it in years. But the rest of tri.? Probably. Especially the pile of shit that was Chapter 6: Our Future. *cough*

S: “4/10.″ (LOL.)

F: “It was better than tri.. I guess a 7/10 too.”

Sequel?

I think it’s definitely a possibility. I feel like the very last scene of the movie was slapped on just to be like, “Well, if we don’t do a sequel, you know that Taichi and Yamato are definitely going to reunite with their partners eventually for the 02 epilogue to happen.” The scene is of Taichi and Yamato saying something along the lines of meeting Agumon and Gabumon again one day.

And while it’s an uplifting ending, I actually think the movie would’ve ended better with the scene before that -- with the digimon disappearing and Taichi and Yamato crying. It would’ve made a bigger emotional impact and raised the movie up just a notch higher to end on such a ballsy note. But, of course, it would’ve meant a sequel definitely had to happen. So the actual final scene was added on so that a sequel doesn’t need to be made -- but that it leads to the 02 epilogue “off-camera”, in case they really don’t do a sequel.

I think there’s a 50/50 chance of a sequel. The movie actually does close the Adventure story pretty well -- it has all the ingredients to lead to the 02 epilogue without actually taking you there. But it also keeps the possibility of a sequel open, where they can show you exactly how Taichi and Yamato reunite with their digimon.

And, honestly, the only “barrier” I see to a sequel happening is that the reboot is airing next month -- and it’ll be confusing for the next generation of kids to follow one continuity, and then have a movie released with characters they recognise, but in an entirely different continuity. Unless, of course, the sequel comes out in another two years and the reboot has finished after one season (though there’s always a possibility it goes on beyond one season).

S: “Yes, I think there’ll be a sequel.”

F: “It seemed quite final. But obviously if the 02 epilogue is accurate that can’t be the end. Unless Matt finds Gabumon again on the moon I guess. “Oh hey yeah we don’t really disappear, we just go to space!” Yeah, it could go either way. Maybe they are saving Sora’s big part for the sequel!” (XD)

And that’s a wrap! I’ll probably read the novelisation of the movie eventually . . . and it’ll probably be like 95% the same, lol.

[365days365movies]

February 17, 2021: Desert Hearts (Review)

Another late one! School just went fully remote for a couple of weeks, so I had some things to prepare yesterday! Nevertheless, let’s get this underway!

This was a lovely movie. I mean it! While I don’t think it’s overall quality is quite equal to other recent films I’ve seen, this was still a wonderful movie, and one that I’ll definitely be happy to watch again at some point! But OK, it’s not quite equal to other films I’ve seen? I should explain that a little.

Sonce, oh, around The Bridges of Madison County or so, the romantic dramas I’ve been watching have definitely been pretty...intense. Not necessarily negative or positive (well, OK, mostly negative), but a bit, well...dramatic. And this film is definitely a romantic drama...but it’s UCH less intense than those movies. This is legit a romance film that I could leave on in the background while doing something, and look up every one in a while and say, “oh, yeah, it’s this scene. I’ll sit down and watch this for a sec.” Then, knowing me, I’d watch the whole movie again, but you get the point.

This movie is lovely, and it’s going to be one of my favorite romances for the onth (and the chemistry of the two leads deserves my finest chef’s kiss), but...it’s not Brokeback, or Carol, or CMbYN. And did it deserve to be slept on at the Oscars? Well, what was it competing against?

Oh FUCK, is that The Color Purple? YIKES, bruv. OK, what bout Best Actress? Helen Shaver should’ve at least been nominated, so was up for that one?

OH SHIT MERYL

Uhhhhh...OK, Best Director? Donna Dietch did a pretty good job.

OH DEAR SHIT IS THAT AKIRA KUROSAWA???

...Best Adapted Screenplay?

AH FUCK IT’S THE COLOR PURPLE AGAIN

And the worst part is...NONE of those nominees WON those prizes. Yeah, this movie was FUUUUUUCKED. But, still, it’s a cult classic now, so that’s good! But what did I think of it? Well, check out the Recap first for some on-the-fly thoughts; it’s here and here. Otherwise, look out below for the Review!

Review

Cast and Acting: 8/10

OK, before I say anything else, I want to explain why this is an 8/10, rather than anything higher. The reason is because, for the most part, the acting was good...but not perfect. I never really lost sight of the fact that I was watching people perform these lines. It’s hard to explain, but there’s an inherent artificiality to the film. Might be because of the time it was made, might be the direction, but...I dunno, it was somewhat lacking in certain spots for me. Especially as compared to the last several movies, all of whom have been dramatic dynamos. OK? Now...

Helen Shaver and Patricia Charbonneau are great. I mean that, both of them are real good, especially with each other in terms of chemistry. Individually, they may not have been perfect (Charbonneau felt, at certain times, a liiiiiiiiittle forced), but their chemistry was sizzling, and I still enjoyed watching them! Side character actors are mostly fine, but some credit definitely has to be given to Audra Lindley for her turn as Frances. Again, not a perfectly acted role, but emotionally dimensional, and I appreciate that. So, a little mixed here, but good overall!

Plot and Writing: 9/10

This is basically the reverse of Carol, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, if anything, I like this plot just a little more in some ways. In some ways. It’s funny, because both of these films end with a somewhat ambiguously happy ending, but they get there in wholly different fashions, each of which seems fitting. Anyway, writing in here is done by Natalie Cooper, based off on a 1962 book by Jane Rule, and it’s good! Definitely a very romantic movie all around, and the writing very successfully reflects that intention.

Directing and Cinematography: 8/10

This is Donna Dietch’s first film, and for the record, she has been an out lesbian since this film came out, which is great! I feel like I don’t hear about a lot of LGBT directors, and the fact that she made an LGBT film in 1985 is fantastic. Again, very glad I watched this movie! Anyway, her directorial style isn’t overly apparent, but she definitely knows how to film things romantically. Some of the scenes when Vivian and Cay are together look amazing. Cinematography by Robert Elswit also has something to do with that, and this film overall looks fantastic. It’s not really a Brokeback Mountain in appearance, but it’s still great!

Production and Art Design: 8/10

This one is interesting. Because this film takes place, it turns out, in 1959, and it doesn’t feel that way half the time. I get that I might be too much of a stickler for period authenticity, but if you’re gonna make a period film, then I gotta feel it. Other than that, though, everything and everyone looks pretty good. However, MASSIVE PROPS to whoever figured out Vivian’s outfits and transformation, because that is all GODDAMN EFFECTIVE. They effortlessly and realistically took a repressed academic woman, and turned her into someone who wanted more out of her life and out of love, and didn’t even know it. Some credit to Helen Shaver here, who’s fantastic, but seriously...nice job on wardrobe!

Music and Editing: 7/10

...OK, I may need to reexamine how I examine music on here. I mean, part of this little project is to refine my taste in film, and decide how I judge movies, right? Anyway, the reason I say this is because, well...music was fine, but I wouldn’t put in on my playlist. Which I know I’ve said FAR TOO MANY TIMES, and I should adjust that parameter. But, in my defense, I did put “Quizas, Quizas, Quizas” on my playlist, so I’m not just bluffing with that statement. Anyway, music was basically all preexisting tracks, which is totally fine...but I remember none of it. Like...NONE of it. Editing was fine (done by Robert Estrin), and there were noticeable wipes that never felt jarring or anything, but...yeah, music’s drawing a blank for me. Still, I know it wasn’t bad by any means...just wasn’t memorable for me.

Well, that’s an 80%, but this really was a delightful movie!

Seriously, if my friends are ever in the mood for a more serious (but not drainingly serious) romance, then I’ll throw this one on the table! I’d definitely watch it again. Like I said, it was delightful!

And with that...well, let’s see. Watch two films featuring L, two featuring G, technically B was in there somewhere...Shall we go for a T?

February 18, 2021: The Danish Girl (2015)

[justjessame]

Put Me In Coach Chapter 13

My parents took the news that Negan and I would be co-habitating earlier than expected better than either of us thought possible.  OK, Mom took it better, Dad may have been nodding off.  I almost wondered when Dad would notice I was gone.  Maybe when the dining room table became one person short?  Maybe not.

A new deal was struck.  Negan and I would pack up my things in my room, some would go with me to his apartment, the rest would wait until our final move to the townhouse near college.  For her agreeable disposition over this new arrangement, we were expected to attend family dinner at least twice a week, including the night we packed.

Which was how Negan and I ended up in my bedroom, surrounded by boxes, tape, and bubble wrap making difficult decisions like ‘does my ass look too fat in this to keep’ over dresses, skirts, and even the occasional jeans and pants.  Some things were easy to deal with, all the bathroom stuff could go to his house, most of my clothes and shoes, but the furniture was the biggest question mark.  

“How big is the townhouse?” He asked, looking at my bed with far more interest than he had during his first visit to my bedroom.  

“Three bedrooms, two and a half baths, why?”  I asked, watching him in the mirror of my vanity.  His eyes met mine and I felt my stomach flip and then tighten.  Shit.  

His hands and fingers were testing the four iron posts of my bed that had been twisted and fashioned to look like spindly tree limbs.  His eyes left mine to study the canopy made of metal leaves.  I watched his hands clutch against every twisted limb, as though he were checking to see how sturdy the metal really was.  I felt my breath catch as he caught me watching him.

Negan’s smile had my heart thumping hard and fast, taking one of his hands away from its exploration of my bed, I felt the breath leave me when he crooked his finger at me.  “Do you trust me, sweetheart?”  

Swallowing hard, I turned away from where I’d been gathering my makeup from the vanity and fully faced him.  “Of course I do.”  Even if my pulse is pounding like a jackhammer at the mere look in your eyes, I thought.  

“Come here, baby.”  Low, dark, and very promising was the tone he was using.  And, like I was helpless anytime he turned that dark gaze of his my way, I complied easily.  

When I was within touching distance, when I could feel the very heat of him, he pulled out three long silky scarves my mom had bought me that I hadn’t ever used and was certain I’d put in the discard pile from his pocket.  “Negan?”  I felt the fluttering of nerves begin in my stomach.  

“You trust me.”  Not a question this time, but a statement.  Another hard swallow and a nod from me, just to remind myself that I DID trust him.  “I promise you’ll like this.”  

The darkest silk scarf he tied around my eyes.  Not tight enough to be uncomfortable, but enough so I couldn’t see him or the light that was still pouring through my windows.  One sense gone, I bit my lip waiting.  I could still feel the heat of him, but he’d pulled away once the makeshift blindfold was in place.  

His fingertips on my bare arm startled me, making my skin pimple with gooseflesh and forcing a small gasp from my lips.  I heard him chuckle softly.  I stood still as his fingers traced along any skin that was already bared to his touch.  I was trying to decide if wearing the sundress with a built in bra had been a stroke of genius or not when I felt his fingers slide to the short hem, grazing my bare thighs in the process.  Another gasp, a slight lurch, one more chuckle.  

“Raise your arms up, Amara.”  Hot breath in a whisper against the shell of my ear and I did as he requested.  “Good girl.”  Fuck, why did I LOVE his praise so fucking much?  My sundress was tugged up and off and it was his turn to let out a hiss of breath.  “Maybe I spoke too soon, princess.”  His hand met my bare ass, cupping the globe and making my entire body flare up with heat.  “No panties?”  He made a tsking sound, and gave my ass a small, yet stinging spank.  “Did you want me to go back on my promise about not fucking your brains out in your parents’ house, Amara?”  

“Yes,” I was biting my lip and waiting for the second smack and was rewarded for my slight.  

“I think you forgot something, sweetheart.”  His hand was rubbing the slight sting of my skin.  “What’s the correct answer to that question, Amara?”

I felt my stomach clench at the way he sounded.  The same tone as he’d had when he bent me over his desk at school, but without the heavy irritation from that time. He was playing with me this time.  “Yes, SIR.”  I answered after a moment’s hesitation that earned me another crack from his open palm.  

“That’s my good girl.” Shit, fuck.  “Trying to tempt me to go against a PROMISE I made, Amara.”  Another tsk.  Jesus, he was going to make it so dinner really would be torture.  How the fuck was I going to explain to Mom and Dad that I had to eat standing up?

“Sir,” I was floundering inside my own mind for ways to talk him OUT of giving me what I kind of wanted, but without the horrible side effects.  “I’m sorry, sir.”  I wasn’t, clearly he had been thinking the same damn dirty thoughts, but fuck if I didn’t want to have to work myself through the burning aftermath.  

“Maybe I should save your punishment for when we get home.”  I forced myself to NOT agree.  He was in charge, let him lead.  “OK, sweetheart, let me help you onto the bed.”  Negan guided me carefully onto the cloud that was my mattress, helping me find the propped up pillows with my head, and making certain that the blindfold didn’t come loose.  “Comfortable, sweetheart?”  

“Yes, sir.”  I smiled, and was rewarded with a kiss that lingered.  Not long enough, because he pulled away and I felt his fingertips running up my left arm.  

“Remember that you trust me, Amara.”  Hard swallow and a deep breath before I answered in the affirmative.  “Good girl.”  And then I felt the silk of another scarf slide along my bare skin.  “I swear that this is gonna be amazing, for both of us.”  A few loops around my wrist and then I could hear the material sliding against the metal of the post to my left.  It wasn’t tight, just as he’d been careful with the blindfold, he was careful with my wrist.  He repeated the same teasing of the skin of my right arm, and then tied my other wrist to the opposite post.  The scarves were long enough so I was bound, but I wasn’t pulled too taunt.  “Fuck, that’s a picture I wish I could keep forever.”  He sighed, as I felt his body leave the bed.  

“You can, sir,” I offered, smiling as I listened to the telltale rustle of him removing his clothes.  He chuckled and I could practically see his dimples from the sound.  

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, princess.”  A warning, but in a tone that told me how fucking happy he was at the prospect.  “Let’s make sure you like what I have planned first.”  

“Yes, sir.” I sighed, as I felt the bed dip again, signally that he was back.  

After hours of Negan showing me just how much I enjoyed what he’d planned, the blindfold was gone, my wrists were free, and we were tangled up in MY bed for once.  The blankets covering us, my head on his chest, we were resting before we had to get back to work.  Mom was home by now, I was certain, but I was hoping that she’d stayed away because she wanted to give us time to get my things packed and NOT because she heard anything I may have moaned or screamed.  

“I’m guessing you want to keep the bed?”  I asked, and felt the vibration of his laughter through his chest.  

“Mine doesn’t have the potential of your bed, Amara.”  Potential?  More like the ability to put me completely at his mercy, not that I was complaining, not really.

I smiled and kissed his chest, celebrating once again the fact that he was MINE.  “This bed is pretty fucking amazing.”  Propping my chin on his chest and meeting his gaze, I dropped another kiss on his chest.  “Especially when it has you in it.”  He pulled me to him and our lips met in another fevered kiss, but our luck had run out.  A knock sounded, and we both stilled.  

“Miss Kendall?”  The newest maid, Anna called out and I nearly groaned in both irritation and relief.  At least it wasn’t Mom.

“Yes?”  I called out, nearly moaning when Negan chose that moment to flick his tongue against my neck.  

“Your mother asked that I tell you that dinner will be ready in half an hour.”  Fuck.  She was home, we were ALMOST, but not completely finished packing, and now DINNER.  

“Tell her we’ll be down in ten minutes.”  Negan bit my shoulder and I closed my eyes at the horror of leaving the room without finishing what he was trying to start.  “Fifteen minutes, Anna.”  Another deep chuckle came from Coach, but I sighed when I felt his hands slide down my back to pull me back to him. 

[slash-em-up]

Rocky Road pt. 1: ChromeSkull x Reader

Ok so.... this is me sort of dipping my toe into the L2R writing waters, since Jesse is baby.... well here we go. Not too much ChromeSkull in here; but I promise there will be a fuckton more in pt. 2.

——————————————————

The gate to the Hollywood Hills mansion your employer owned was straight-up stuck.

You weren’t sure if it was the Santa Ana winds or the boiling California sun that had messed with the circuitry, but you clearly weren’t getting in the house that way.

The problem was, that the large house and palatial lawn (which probably cost more than the house itself, judging by the neighboring mansions much much much smaller lots) was locked down tighter than Fort Knox.

You circled around the tall fence line looking for any kind of break or low point you might be able to hop. No such luck.

Running a hand through your hair, you were starting to get a bit frantic before your phone began to buzz in your pocket.

A text alert from your boss flashed on your screen.

You checked the time – he was early.

J: Good morning

Hey Mr. Cromeans. Happy Tuesday!

J: Having problems?

Your eyebrows rose.

lol yeah, how did you know?

J: Look into the tree on your right

The blinking light of a camera showed from the nearby towering oak tree. You waved sheepishly.

The gate won’t open

J: I’ll put someone on it. Start walking back. It’ll be open when you get there

Grinning, you began trudging back through the dusty brush towards the driveway.

Thanks :) , how was she last night?

J: You’re welcome. She had a bit of a fever – I gave her some Tylenol and put her to bed early. Let me know if she’s still warm and I’ll send a car to take you to her doctor

I’ll let you know as soon as I’m in

J: Thanks

True to his word, the gate was open as you rounded the final fence corner, and you jogged your way up to the house.

You weren’t late, per-say; but the thought of the possibly feverish little girl inside hastened your step.

There was no key to the Cromeans residence; instead you placed your thumb lightly on a scanner and waited for the indicator light to turn green.

The house was a shining example of modern architecture – all symmetrical lines and sweeping glass walls – the color scheme was a basic white and grey, with metallic accents placed strategically around the dwelling. In all honesty, you were pretty sure it was straight out of some Architectural Digest magazine – very fashionable and trendy.

Exactly the kind of space you’d expect some tech-savvy rich-boy bachelor to inhabit.

However, you knew this wasn’t exactly an accurate description of your employer – as the mess of stuffed animals and coloring books kicked to the side of the entryway further clarified.

When you’d received the offer for this job, you’d been approached by a woman called Spann (who was far more intimidating in person than her slight 4’11” frame might suggest). She’d given you some vague details and the offer of an exorbitant paycheck before slapping you with an NDA.

You’d been given some still annoyingly vague details that you’d be working for a man named Jesse Cromeans. He was a businessman and widower who needed someone to take care of his four year old daughter when he was away on business trips and at the office.

Even though the pay would cover all your expenses and then some, you’d rolled your eyes at the thought of being the pseudo-parent for yet another detached family.

This supposition quickly changed as you began to receive the morning check-in texts and listen to your charge go on at-length about how much fun she and her daddy had hosting tea-time with her Barbies the night before.

Many mornings you were left to clean up the aftermath of their play – hearing joyful recollections of safari’s through the kitchen, pillow forts for movie nights, and how tall little Adeline Cromeans felt when her daddy gave her a piggy back ride.

But what spoke to you the most was how sad Addy was when Mr. Cromeans was gone on a trip. It was very rarely clear to either of you how long he’d be gone; but Addy was never quite her normal boisterous self when he was away.

You could tell the feeling was mutual, as your morning check-in texts were always far more pointed and investigative than normal.

There was a faint whiff of expensive cologne lingering in the air, telling you that you’d missed your employers exit by a few minutes, at most.

That was another oddity about this job. You’d never actually met Addy’s father. Heard about him, sure, more reverentially from Spann; and enthusiastic recollections from Addy; but you’d never seen or talked to him. No pictures – all the photos around the dwelling were either of Addy or of a beautiful blonde woman you supposed had to be the late Mrs. Cromeans.

Any one-on-one communications you had with the man were via-text.

The most you had gleaned was that he had expensive taste (hello Byredo hand soap), a penchant for ice-cream (that pint of Rocky Road did NOT eat itself), a dry sense of humor (several of his texts in response to your inquiries had made you burst out in shocked laughter), and was a very large man (Addy had been running around the house in an XLXT mens shirt one day and you nearly had a conniption). Other than that he was an enigma who loved his daughter and worked too much (in your opinion).

You quietly opened the door to Addy’s room.

The little girl was still curled up fast asleep under her comforter, pretty as a picture.

Blonde wavey hair looking like a birds nest as it poofed up on her pillow.

You sighed lightly at the tiny thumb stuck in her mouth – a habit both you and her father had been trying to break her of – and gave her shoulder a soft shake.

“Hey Munchkin. Time to wake up.”

The small whine of displeasure that met your statement made you smile.

“Aaadddddyyy…”

Brown eyes slowly slid open to meet your own.

“Mmmmm don’t wanna…”

“Come on sweetie, I need to take your temperature so your daddy can stop worrying and get back to his work!”

This had more of an effect than your previous attempts, and with a deep frown and a few wiggles Addy had seated herself up in bed.

You had grabbed the thermometer from the dressed by the door on your entry, and once it beeped you waited patiently for it to register from it’s place sitting in Addy’s ear.

“98.7 – you’re all better cutie.”

Addy smiled up at you adoringly.

“That’s ‘cause daddy gave me the magic medicine last night. He said it’d make me ok – even though it didn’t taste good.”

“Well your daddy is a very smart man! He did a good job.”

Bouncing happily, Addy pulled back her covers and hopped to the edge of the bed.

“Can I have crunch today for breakfast?”

Your smile widened as you pulled out your phone – snapping a quick selfie of yourself and the smiling Addy before sending it off to Mr. Cromeans with a quick ‘All better :) good thinking with the ‘magic medicine’ text.

“I suppose since you were such a good girl for your daddy last night you can have some Captain Crunch…”

——————————————————————

It was late, and you were exhausted.

Which made the fact that you’d left your damn car keys inside the Cromeans house that much more annoying.

You huffed and puffed your way back up the driveway – thankful that the California nights were so mild and you weren’t freezing to death in the September dark.

The door sensor blinked green and you tried to be as quiet as possible as you slipped back through the entryway – using the flashlight on your phone to search for your key.

The house was dark and silent – you’d received a text that Mr. Cromeans was working late, and may not be back until after midnight, and would you mind terribly waiting around until Addy went to sleep before leaving?

That hadn’t been a problem, expect that now it was quarter-past 10 and all you wanted was to go home and throw yourself into your own bed.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t how tonight was going to play out for you.

Your whole body froze as a gigantic shape, backlit by the moonlight, detached itself from the living room wall.

You assumed it was a man, and it may have been the animal terror speaking, but you’d never seen someone so large in your whole life.

The shape moved, vaulting over the leather couch with ease and started charging at you.

Letting out a scream of panic, you turned and made a run for the door – only making it a few steps before you felt a huge weight crash into you, sending you tumbling to the hard marble floor.

You cried out again as your head bounced against the hard surface; vision blinking in and out as you tried to comprehend what was happening.

Vaguely, as if underwater, you heard Addy scream from the second floor, having been awoken by the ruckus downstairs.

The throbbing pain in your head increased as you felt yourself fade in and out of consciousness.

Forcing your body over, you stared up at the black shape looming over you.

“Ple-please… don’t hurt… Add-y…run…”

The man’s head tilted and before you could say anything else… everything went black.

[honeyjxsung]

It’s You

Member: Felix x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k oof this was longer than expected

Genre: Fluff

Request:  I was wondering if you could do one where felix's crush needs a fake date for a family event and she ask him plz😊

A/N: Here it is love! I’m sorry this took a while, so please forgive me, but 

Enjoy! <33

******

You were freaking out. 

Not because you were going to a family reunion, no. You were pretty excited to go, it’s been so long since you’ve seen your relatives. You haven’t kept in touch with the cousins you used to be so close with, so meeting them would bring back some nostalgia. You were freaking out because you said you were bringing your boyfriend with you. And the problem is, you don’t have a boyfriend in the first place. 

It only started because you were fed up with your second cousin bragging about her fiancé coming to visit. She rubbed the fact that she got a man before everyone else in your face, and you got quite annoyed, causing you to blurt out stuff you didn’t think through, like how you would bring your lover to the gathering. 

Oh, how you fucked up.

Now you had to find a boyfriend in less than 24 hours.

You grew extremely anxious at first. You didn’t know where or how to find a guy who was willing to be your pretend boyfriend. You didn’t even know how to properly talk to guys! Groaning, you rolled around on your bed as you scrolled through your contacts list, finding someone, anyone, who could be up for the job. 

Then you came across the name that sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

-

Felix was freaking out.

He didn’t expect his crush to show up at his doorstep so early in the morning. He didn’t have time to prepare what to say or what he looked like, so he was a stuttering mess. 

“O-oh! Hey, Y/n...uh what are you doing here?” He rubbed the nape of his neck nervously. You shifted the weight on your right leg to your left,

biting your lip. 

“Hey, Felix! Sorry for disturbing, are you busy?” 

God, you hoped you put enough foundation to cover your crimson red cheeks. 

You didn’t even know why you chose your crush to be the one. It was a terrible mistake and you were certainly going to make a fool out of yourself if you act all intimate with him. You mentally cursed at yourself, thinking that you could’ve chosen your best friend’s brother. Or maybe one of Felix’s members. Anyone but the boy who had such an effect on you.

Ugh so stupid.

The boy in front of you shook his head, “No it’s totally fine, and I’m not busy. Come in.” He stepped aside and motioned for you to enter his dormitory. Luckily his members were either gone for work or completely out cold. 

You entered timidly and kicked off your shoes, lining them to the wall and made your way to the couch where he was sitting. 

“So what’s up?” 

“Ok um..” You began. You didn’t know how to bring up the whole boyfriend scheme without seeming weird. Felix cocked his head to the side, and if you weren’t panicking you would’ve found it cute. 

You couldn’t take it back anymore, you were already in his place, probably wasting his precious time that he could’ve spent on something more productive. 

“I need you to be my fake boyfriend for a family reunion!” You blurted out. You were scared of how he would react so you expected the worst, but he only seemed confused, hinting at how his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

He blinked, trying to process what you said. Was he hearing things? 

“Wh-what?” 

“Just for today, my cousins think I have a boyfriend when I actually don’t. It’s fine if you don’t want to.” 

Felix was quite taken aback, and he was beginning to blush. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he often fantasized about you being his girlfriend. And although it was going to last one day and it was completely fake, he was willing to do it. Mostly for your sake, but partially for his too. 

“No-no It’s alright, I was just a bit shocked...when do we start?” 

“Well it starts at 5 so we have plenty of time to get ready and such. By the way, you can wear something nice, it doesn’t have to be so formal though.”

Felix nodded and gave you a soft smile. He could tell how tense you were, you must be really anxious. “Would you like anything to drink?” He offered, standing up from his spot. 

“Oh, I’ll just have a glass of water please.” 

He nodded and escorted himself to the kitchen. He still had a good view of you from the kitchen since it was out in the open, and he could see how you were sitting up straight and fiddled with your fingers. You were wondering why Felix seemed so fine about it. Asking to be your fake boyfriend was so out of the blue, and it calmed you that he wasn't judging you. You looked at his direction and he gave you a playful grin to calm your nerves

“Make yourself comfortable, Y/n. I don’t want my girlfriend to feel so tense.” 

He froze, Felix didn’t know where that burst of confidence came from. Gosh, that was so embarrassing. He attempted to hide behind the counter, scared to see your face, but he heard your adorable giggle and his smile resurfaced. “Alright, whatever you say, babe.” You retorted, and you instantly regretted it. Was that too much? Your heart was pounding and you were afraid that he would be able to hear it from across the room. 

He came back with two glasses of water, passing one to you, and you thanked him. That was when you realized how quiet the place was. Felix was in Stray Kids, and the members were known to be very loud. It was odd that you never heard a single scream yet. 

“Where are the rest of the boys?” You asked, looking around. Felix followed your actions, taking a sip. “Well, Chan, Woojin, Seungmin, and Jisung are at the Jyp Building. The rest are asleep. They stayed up pretty late last night.” He chuckled, remembering how rowdy they were the other day. Felix loved his 8 members dearly as if they were his brothers. They were all pretty close, so knowing personal things about each other wasn't new. That means they know all about Felix’s huge crush on you, and he quietly praised the fact that none of them were present to expose him. 

“That’s typical of you guys. Partying like there’s no tomorrow.”

There was that laugh again. The one that set sparks flying inside of his chest. Felix tried to ignore it because he didn’t want to ruin a simple conversation, but you were just too damn cute to ignore. 

“Well, that is their motto. But I’m not saying that it’s a good saying to follow.” He sighed. 

“But they’re really fun to be around, not gonna lie.” 

“What, are you saying that they are more fun than me?” Felix put a hand to his chest, mocking a hurt expression.

“I never said that!” 

“That’s what you implied!” 

“There was no implication in that statement!” 

“That hurts Y/n. You wound me.” He faked a cry and you scoffed while shoving his shoulder lightly. The two of you continued to talk to each other, and your original plans of leaving the dorm to ready your stuff were out the window. Somehow, the gap between the both of you on the couch was nonexistent anymore, as you were shoulder to shoulder. Time flew by before you even knew it, and the only thing that snapped you out of it was Minho sleepily walking to the kitchen without noticing the two people on the couch. You and Felix sat in silence, watching the boy shuffle to the fridge, and tried not to burst out laughing. 

“Good Morning Minho.” You said as calmly as you could. It was normal for the members to wake up extremely late, and both of you found it amusing seeing how confused they end up once they found out that others just finished lunch.

Minho, not sparing a glance responded, “Hey Y/n-“ and continued to down his food. 

It was only when Felix burst into a fit of laughter when Lee know realized you were in their dorm. He nearly choked on his brunch. “Y/n-when did you get here?” 

After you calmed yourself and Felix down, you proceeded to answer the boy’s question by checking the time. “I got here at like 11-holy shit, Lix it’s Three!” 

It took an hour and a half to get to the family reunion, and you weren’t even changed yet. You swiftly got up and Felix followed with a nod. He let you in his room and began to look through his closet with you sitting on his bed. 

-

Several minutes passed, and Felix looked incredible. He wore a loose button-down that outlined his muscles and blue jeans. He swept his hair to the side which revealed his forehead. It was so simple, yet it was able to blow you away. You gave a look of approval and went to your car to your place. Felix came with you while Minho was left without an explanation.

You rushed to your wardrobe while Felix patiently waited in the living room. You cleaned yourself up and rushed outside. Felix couldn't move, you were breathtaking. In a cute off-the-shoulder blouse with black jeans, you looked stunning. 

“Ready?” You asked. 

He gulped.

“As I’ll ever be.”

-

“Y/n! Hey!” A high pitched voice rang through your ears once you entered the doors. It was your cousin, with a smirk on her face. She extended her arms out to your and her hot pink claw nails grazed your skin as she patted your back. There was a tall man by her side, which you assumed was her fiancé she bragged about so much. “This is Rowoon, my fiancé. He’s a doctor.” Your assumptions were proven when she said the last part with a proud grin. You tried not to scoff at her obvious intentions and put on a smile as you greeted her soon to be husband. He seemed very gentlemanly, with soft eyes and a fit body. He had a good fashion sense and his kind personality was what reeled you in. You couldn’t believe he was to marry your bratty cousin. Poor guy.

“So, where's the boyfriend? Is he not coming? Or is he just not existent?” 

You pursed your lips to stop yourself from saying something you’d regret later and half-heartedly laughed. Felix told you to go ahead because the parking was hard to find. “No no, he’s here, he’s just parking the car.” 

And as if it was on cue, you heard his familiar voice behind you. “Babe!” 

The act had begun.

The smile on your face turned genuine once he met eyes with you. Your cousin’s attention wasn’t on you anymore, but on the handsome boy who claimed to be your boyfriend. She batted her eyelashes towards him and giggled. 

“Yuna, this is Felix, my boyfriend.” Instinctively, Felix interlaced his fingers with yours, and you were taken by surprise. His hands were soft and fit with yours as if they were meant to be held together. It was an unfamiliar feeling that you felt, you couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Though you were sure about one thing.

It felt so right.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” Felix reached his hand out to the couple while his left hand remained wrapped around yours. He gave Rowoon a firm handshake and Yuna hugged him. 

You wanted to get out of Yuna’s sight, so you squeezed Felix’s hand and he immediately responded. 

“It was nice meeting you, but we’ll go ahead and get some food.” Felix bowed dismissively and you mustered up a wave before heading to the tables. Felix led you to a chair and pulled it out for you to sit it. Then he left you and your thoughts alone to get food. You were grateful that Felix was willing to pose as someone he’s not and go through your hectic family just to spare your pride, you knew it’ll take a lot in order to pay him back, but he deserved it. 

You viewed him from the corner of your eye filling two cups with some punch, and along the way, he made small talk with your aunt and first cousin. Judging by them laughing, you could tell their conversation was going well. 

It was a nice sight to see, seeing your family members get along with someone very special to you. If only he could see it too; if only you were just as precious to him as he was to you. If only this could last for more than one day. 

If only it could be real. 

Little did you know he felt the same way too.

-

“Your family is so nice, they’re really easy to get along with.” Felix comments, resting a hand on top of yours. He could get used to the feeling of your hands on his. You produced a different type of warmth whenever he touched you. It was comforting and relaxing.

It felt like home.

“They can be rowdy at times, but they’re really loving.” You said, looking off to the side. You avoided his stare. 

“Thank you, Felix, for coming. It means a lot.” You said softly. “I know acting like my fake boyfriend is odd of me, I wouldn’t be surprised if after this you would think of me as a weirdo.”

Felix swirled his drink a lifted his lips upward. “It’s not a problem. And I don’t think you’re a weirdo Y/n, I told you, it’s ok.” 

He reassured you one last time before taking a sip of the drink. You shared a comfortable silence between the both of you, the only noise was the loud chatting of your family and the clinking of silverware as they ate. You decided to look at him and his brows were furrowed as if he was in deep thought. And indeed he was.

You were about to speak up until he cleared his throat and mumbled a “fuck it” under his breath.

“Although, Y/n.” He began again, which caught your attention. The tone of his voice shifted and you were beginning to get scared as you didn’t know where it was going. 

“I want to make this relationship a reality.” 

Pause.

The white noise suddenly canceled out, the only sound was the thumping of your heart getting faster and faster. You didn’t hear wrong right? 

“What..?” your lips parted as you stared at him in awe, waiting for him to clarify what exactly he said, and luckily he did.

“I like you, Y/n. Well, I have been for a while… I’m really glad that you chose me to be your date for today, even if this is fake. I get it if you don’t want to, but would you like to make us real?” 

He internally cringed at his speech, and he was sure you were going to reject him. But to his relief, you felt a bit bold and decided to move forward and place a kiss on his lips. 

You pulled away, a light shade of red tinted on your cheeks as you processed what you just did, and Felix couldn’t move as he was just as speechless. 

“I like you too, Lix. And I would love to be your girlfriend.” 

-

The night continued, and your energy began to drain. You had a lot of fun talking to your relatives and catching up, but it was beginning to get darker and your feet were in pain. Saying farewell, you laced your hands with the blonde’s and walked out with a bright smile on your face. 

Thinking back, it was kind of funny; Felix walked in the building as your fake boyfriend and walked out as your real one. You chuckled at the thought, but you snapped out of it when the one who was on your mind sat right next to you, giving you a peck on the cheek before resting his head on your lap. On instinct, your fingers played with his bleached locks as he lulled himself to sleep.

Yeah, you can get used to this.

[canchewread]

Editor's note: while I've certainly been away from Can't You Read for quite a while, anyone who follows my work at ninaillingworth.com or my Patreon blog already knows that I've been writing (and podcasting) again. You can check out some of my latest essays here, here and here; to listen to the podcast I co-host with Nick Galea (No Fugazi) just click here.

Today however I'm back on my bookworm bullsh*t with another curiously dated review of left wing literature from my extensive library of pinko pontification. In today's review, we're going to be taking a look at “The Chapo Guide to Revolution: a Manifesto Against Logic, Facts and Reason” written by five members of the popular left wing podcast “Chapo Trap House” - specifically, Felix Beiderman, Matt Christman, Brendan James, Will Menaker and Virgil Texas.

Baby Steps up the Ramparts

It is I will theorize, utterly impossible to write a review about the Chapo Trap House book without engaging in the extremely online, three-sided culture war that has sprung up around both “the Chapos” themselves and the enormously popular podcast they host. In light of the fact that seemingly everyone on the internet who detests the show regard the Chapos as slovenly crackpot losers born on third base and podcasting from mom's basement, it really is alarming how much digital ink has been spilled about the various types of “threat” to all that is good and holy this simple irony-infused podcast supposedly represents. While I intend to largely sidestep that discussion by focusing entirely on the book and not the podcast (which I don't listen to regularly, to be honest with you), I accept that virtually nobody reading this is going to be happy unless I do something to address the elephant in the room, so here goes:

Neera Tanden and her winged neoliberal monkeys can eat sh*t, but extremely online leftists have a point that the Chapos themselves occasionally skirt the line between mockingly ironic reactionary thought and just plain old reactionary thought; although this is not particularly alarming to me because they're Americans and America itself is a breeding ground for reactionary ideas – decolonizing your mind is a process and I'm pretty sure it's one I myself am also engaging in still every single day of my life at this point. Importantly, in my opinion this failing does not make them cryptofascists so much as the product of American affluence; I'm having a hard time understanding how teaching Marx and Zinn to Twitter reply guys serves the fascist agenda in any meaningful way. While I obviously can't pretend to know another person's heart, in my opinion the Chapo boys are definitely leftists but they're obviously not labor class and yes it's a little hard to explain away the group's loose affiliation with the (objectively strasserist) Red Scare podcast through co-host Amber A'Lee Frost - but I'm not going to waste a couple thousand words trying to untangle Brooklyn independent media drama from half a country away and besides, Amber didn’t write this book. Despite these critiques however, I think it's important to note that under no circumstances am I prepared to accept the argument that with fascists to the right of me, and lanyards, um also to the right, the real problem here is... Chapo Trap House.

Ok, with that out of the way let's dive right in and talk about the question I think most folks who've written about The Chapo Guide to Revolution have largely failed to grasp – namely, what kind of book is it precisely? Combining elements of comedy, playful online trolling, historical analysis, political theory and good old-fashioned cross platform promotional marketing, the book has often lead critics to compare it to catch-all comedic efforts like Joe Stewart's “America” or even humorous men’s lifestyle advice texts like “Max Headroom's Guide to Life.” This is I think an essential misreading of the fundamentally earnest and direct tone the book actually takes in its efforts to reach a fledgling audience growing more receptive to left wing ideas. The Chapo Guide to Revolution is, as the cover says, a manifesto; but rather than serving as the mission statement for a particular formed political ideology, the Chapos have written an extremely effective, entry-level argument for why labor-class millennials should be leftists – and, of course, why they should listen to Chapo Trap House; this is still a cross-promotional work after all.

Naturally as befits a book about a comedy podcast, albeit a very political one, the Chapo Guide to Revolution is an extremely funny book that does a remarkable job translating the type of caustic online humor previously only found in left wing Twitter circles, onto the written page. While its certainly true that this quirky style of comedy can be a little difficult to grasp for the uninitiated, and typically a cross-promotional work of this type will get bogged down in self-referential humor and inside jokes, the book mostly avoids this trap by sticking with the basics and assuming that the reader has literally never heard an episode of Chapo Trap House, which in turn makes the humor fairly universal and extremely accessible – at least for anyone under the age of fifty. This endeavor is greatly aided by the dark and dystopian, yet hilariously eviscerating art of Eli Valley; a man who himself has since become one of the leading left wing critics of establishment power online through his extremely provocative sketches and ink work.

The truth however is that if the Chapo Guide to Revolution was merely just a funny book, I wouldn't be reviewing it here today. No, the reason this book is worth writing about at all lies in the fact that underneath all the jokes, taunts and “half-baked Marxism” lies an objectively brilliant work of historical analysis, cultural critique and left wing political theory – albeit an unfocused theory that borrows heavily from half a dozen functionally incompatible left wing thinkers and literary giants, but a fundamentally serious work of political philosophy nonetheless.

Yes, that's correct; I said brilliant. Where think-tank minions and neoliberal swine in the corporate media see a petulant pinko tantrum, and  online leftist academics see privileged dudebros appropriating Marx (poorly), I see a brilliant and yet stealthy synthesis of political theories, historical analysis and organizational ideas originally presented by writers like Howard Zinn, Noam Chomsky and Thomas Frank. Drawing on historical theories from Marx, Gramsci and Rocker, the Chapos have cobbled together a rudimentary political philosophy that represents a crude and yet promising welding of anarchist concepts about labor, Marxist concepts about economics and democratic socialist concepts about politics, collected together under the generic banner of “socialism.”

At this point some of you are undoubtedly snickering, but please bear with me for a moment here because what the Chapos (or their ghostwriter) have done in this book is truly a marvelous thing to behold precisely because you can't see it unless you're paying close attention. By positioning The Chapo Guide to Revolution as both a comedic work and an introductory level text, the authors have created a sort of unique crash course in left wing history, geopolitics, philosophy and political theory for a newly awakened generation of Americans who find themselves increasingly politicized whether they like it or not.

Underneath the acerbic millennial humor, “extremely online” diction and unrelenting waves of sarcasm, The Chapo Guide to Revolution is also a surprisingly accurate “CliffsNotes” style textbook presentation of multiple broad-based social science subjects – here are just a few examples:

In “Chapter One: World” the book presents a rudimentary and yet deliciously insightful history of post-World War II American empire that draws on authors like Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, with a touch of contemporary writers like Greg Grandin and Naomi Klein. In particular the attention devoted to condensing the target audience's formative experiences with empire like the War on Terror, the invasion of Iraq and the war in Afghanistan, into a short and coherent narrative that can be easily shared with other novice political observers makes this book an invaluable resource for budding millennial leftists  Additionally, while it certainly might have been an accident, the Chapos' choice to wrap this “Pig Empire geopolitics for newbs” lesson in a protracted joke about America as an extremely ruthless corporate startup at least touches on ideas presented by writers like Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, Sheldon Wollin (or Chris Hedges repeating Sheldon Wolin), Joel Bakan, Rosa Luxemburg and others.

In Chapters Two and Three, entitled “Libs” and “Cons” respectively, the authors conduct a remarkably thorough political science lesson on the two major mainstream political “ideologies” in American culture, including both a rough outline of their history and their modern calcification inside the Democratic and Republican parties. Of course both of these sections rely heavily on the personal experiences of the authors growing up in a politicized America, but these discussions also dip into the works of Thomas Frank and Cory Robin to explore and critique the liberal and conservative political mindset respectively; in particular the Chapos summary of Robin's work on the conservative worship of hierarchies is an inspired distillation. More importantly however, the Chapos also expose the way in which these two ideologies represent a false dichotomy within the greater confines of a larger capitalist socioeconomic order; which is of course a (still absolutely correct) idea straight out of the works of Karl Marx.

In Chapter Six, appropriately entitled “work” the authors engaged in a disarmingly earnest discussion about wage slavery, the false promises of the protestant work ethic and the history of terrible jobs available to the labor class under various iterations of the capitalist project. This is followed by a humorous, but dystopian review of what future jobs might look like if the neoliberal socioeconomic order continues on as it has so far, and an extremely brief but sincerely argued pitch for completely transforming the role of work in society through some from of technologically assisted anarcho-communism. This last idea is admittedly a little half-baked but you have to admire their balls when the Chapo boys flatly call for a three hour workday; a position that will undoubtedly be popular with the labor class who're currently engaged in all those sh*tty jobs the book describes earlier in the chapter. Once again this synthesis of left wing ideas about work does represent a new and unique formulation, but despite the humorous and original content you can also clearly see the influence of anarchist writers like Kropotkin, Rocker and Goldman in this chapter, as well as contemporary authors like David Graeber and Mark Blyth.

Unfortunately, if there is a downside to writing a brilliantly subversive comedy book that functions as a “my little lefty politics primer” for politically awakening millennials, it's that you simply don't have the space for an intellectually rigorous examination of all the ideas you're sharing – there is after all a big difference between reading the Cliff Notes version of Zinn, Chomsky or Marx, and reading the original theories in their full form. Furthermore, the individual life experiences, idiosyncrasies and humor styles of the authors do at times bleed into the text in a way that I personally suspect was detrimental to the overall analysis. Here's a short list of “sour notes” I found in this otherwise remarkable book:

From what I have listened to of the Chapo Trap House podcast, it has always been my impression that the Chapos were particularly effective critics of American corporate media, so I was a little disappointed that the chapter on media in The Chapo Guide to Revolution was a fairly tepid and narrow discussion about (admittedly vapid) bloggers turned celebrated pundits. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure power dunking on the likes of Matty Yglesias, Meagan McArdell and Andrew Sullivan was viscerally satisfying for the book's target audience, but there's really not much of a broader critique of the media's ideological role in American capitalism and culture here like one would find in Herman & Chomsky's “Manufacturing Consent”, Matt Taibbi's “Hate Inc” or Michael Parenti's “Inventing Reality.” This absence I fear has the tragic side effect of reinforcing the idea the American corporate media sucks because egg-shaped moron bougie pundits are bad at their job and not because of the inherent failings of the for-profit media model and the institution's true role as an ideological shepherd keeping the masses aligned with the goals of elite capital and the ruling classes – almost exclusively against the bests interests of the labor class.  

The introduction is written in what I can only assume is a sarcastic imitation of right-leaning self improvement books with a touch of Tyler Durden's Fight Club ethos thrown in; this might have been a better choice in a completely different book but it's largely out of place with the rest of this book. At this point I should also say that the best part about the Kidzone intermission is that it was only two pages long. Needless to say, neither one of these sections did anything for me whatsoever.

While it's entirely possible that at forty-three years of age, I'm simply too old to really get the “millenialness” of the chapter on Culture, the simple truth is that I found most of it to be a fairly useless examination of pop culture influences the Chapos hold in reasonably high esteem. As someone who isn't particularly engaged in watching lengthy television series or regularly playing video games, I really couldn't dig into most of the material presented and the less said about the art jokes and the bizarre absurdist discussion of elevator brands, the better. There is however one rather notable exception here in the brief essay on The Sorkin Mindset, which is an objectively brilliant evisceration of the liberal obsession with the West Wing and the tragic effect that obsession has had on Democratic Party politics – this really could have gone in the chapter on “Libs” because it's that valuable of a tool for understanding and critiquing the modern liberal lanyard worldview. Finally I guess I should note that while the Chapo boys' insightful critique of the vapid “prestige TV” phenomenon is both interesting and correct, it really only “matters” if you're a consumer of these types of series – and I'm not.

While I certainly understand the authors' decision to use their notes section to preemptively debunk bullsh*t complaints about the more outrageous accusations they level against the American establishment, I would have liked to see a “recommended reading” section. It is very clear that the Chapos have a reasonably strong background in imperial history, political science and labor theory and I feel like pointing readers towards writers who expand on the theories they summarize in The Chapo Guide to Revolution might have been a better use of space than printing links to old internet articles bad faith actors will never type into a search engine anyway.

Although it might seem like there was more about the book I didn't like, than I did, this is a little misleading – the first three chapters of The Chapo Guide to Revolution are pure fire and comprise over half of the volume. If you throw in the brilliant chapter about work and labor theory, the overall package is far more substance than style, despite the fact that it remains humorous and a little bit edgy throughout the book. While it's certainly fair to say that an introductory primer on why you should be a leftist for newly-politicized millennials isn't a must-read for everyone, the simple truth is that the vast majority of online leftists I know could learn a thing or two from this rudimentary synthesis of various left wing ideas into the seeds of a working, modern political ideology compatible with a uniquely Americanized, millennial left.

While no three hundred page comedy book written by five podcasters from Brooklyn is going to teach you everything there is to know about socialism and left wing ideology, there's something to be said for offering an accessible, entry-level alternative tailor-made for a target demographic already being heavily recruited by the fascists. As a starting point for exploring left wing political thought, you could do a lot worse than The Chapo Guide to Revolution and for a generation of kids who've mostly been encouraged to be passive accomplices to their own subjugation while blaming their misery on anyone even more powerless than they are, there is perhaps nothing more valuable than a condensed narrative that explores how to even think about another way to live.

Remarkably, this book finds a way to deliver on that monumental task while simultaneously failing to grasp one single relevant thing about the cherished American novel Moby Dick. Despite this infuriating literary myopia and insolence, this still might literally be the best book ever written for young American leftists who simply aren't going to spend ten years reading academic literature written by dead white guys from Germany and Russia. - nina illingworth Independent writer, critic and analyst with a left focus. Please help me fight corporate censorship by sharing my articles with your friends online! You can find my work at ninaillingworth.com, Can’t You Read, Media Madness and my Patreon Blog Updates available on Twitter, Mastodon and Facebook. Podcast at “No Fugazi” on Soundcloud. Chat with fellow readers online at Anarcho Nina Writes on Discord!

[melyaliz]

Remember me 9

Master List

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Notes: I have about 2 other chapters “edited” (I use that term loosely) so I’ll try to take some time to post them soon as well.  

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-0-0-0-0-0-0-0- Olive -0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

“Oh my god I can’t breath” Olive giggled, crumbling into Eliott’s lap. Her husband smiled down at her gently playing with her hair.

“This is serious Olive!” Eliott said, his smile melting away to a very strained serious one. His dark brown eyes studying her face, “it’s the greatest story ever told. Guy dates a woman, woman’s ex is a mob boss who is involved in illegal fashion, mob boss’s daughter almost gets killed. Now the guy must use his skills from the years of being in the other four movies to get revenge on his girlfriend’s daughter’s father. Tale as old as time “

“I’m just saying they should have killed the guy and the daughter could have gone full ninja killer and taken out her father and his gang.” Olive giggled, wiping her eyes from the tears of laughter that had been rolling down her cheeks.

“That would probably have been a better movie… but would it also have bad dummy shots?” her husband asked.

“Of course” sitting up inspiration struck, “I have an idea!” Eliott watched her as she sat straight up. “You write the action and I will write the romance.”

“How much romance will there be if the daughter is 12 yearsold.”

“Well romance and character stuff.” she shrugged, “And you can add in all the poorly done dummy blow ups you want.”

“I will” Eliott said nodded, “But only if I can use sex dolls.”

“Like, Hard Ticket to Hawaii ? Oh wait! Now hear me out” Olive giggled scooting up so she was now straddling her husband taking his hands in her own. A goofy smile spread across Eliott’s face as he weaved his fingers into her own.

“Oh are we at the wait stage of drunk Olive?”

“Shhhh” she giggled leaning forward slightly brushing her nose on his, “But really, this is serious.” Cleaning her throat for dramatic effect she continued, “a Hard Ticket to Hawaii Death Wish 4 crossover.”

“Oh girl,” Eliott said, his voice hitting a higher pitch on his girl . Olive giggled pushing herself forward so she was resting on his chest.

“I love you.”

“No way really?” Eliott gave a fake gasp  “That’s sooo weird because you know what? I love you too”

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“ So just be ready ” Kirishima said, prepping the gang, “She’s… the same but different. ”

The group nodded in unison, game faces ready for whatever was coming. And that something was slowly walking toward when in the form of Bakugou and Olive.

Right off the bat it was obvious something was off. While they were holding hands it looked unnatural. Bakugou’s shoulders were hunched and he seemed to be looking anywhere but at Olive who was talking in the city as if she had never walked down this street before. Her large hazel eyes taking in everything, mouth slightly open.

“Olive! Bakugou!” Kirishima said, waving. At the sound of his voice Olive looked up and waved, a smile on her face as she looked over at the group of others standing with them. Her eyes intently taking everyone in as if searching for something that wasn’t there

“ Hello! ” she said as they both stood there awkwardly. Hands had been let go and now hanging at their sides. Limp as if unsure what to do.

There were a few more awkward nodes before Kirishima led them all inside toward the balcony seating, their usual stop. “T his place is amazing! ” Olive said looking around her eyes wide as she took in the atmosphere. Everyone froze as the blissfully unaware woman turned to her husband, “ How did you find this place Katsuki? ”

“ I didn’t, you did .” he said as everyone around him winched slightly. The awkwardness was so thick you could almost taste it, and it didn't taste good.

“Oh.” her voice soft as she bit her top lip looking down at her purple painted nails. She had found her polish that morning and had decided to try out the fun colors.

There was a long pause when Mina spoke up, “How’s Clare and Lilly and the others? ”

Olive blinked looking up, “ You know the girls? ”

“ Yeah we have wine and Rupaul's Drag race nights. I think the last one we did was about a month ago wasn’t it? ” the last statement, more of a question then a comment.

“Uhhh” Olive shrugged unsure how to respond

“ She doesn’t remember it ” Kaminari mumbled to the little pinked haired girl. And again there was a lapse of awkwardness. Turning to Momo from across the table Olive pointed to her shirt.

“ I love your shirt so cute! ” she said, stumbling slightly over her words. Momo lit up pointing to the shirt that Olive had gotten Momo for the hero’s birthday. The words “Females are strong as hell” in English was written in script across the chest. She had gotten it because she always told Momo, who was the 4th hero and number 1 female, that she was the most badass out of everyone (and that ranking didn’t mean shit). Also they were both addicted to “Unbreakable Kimmy Shimitt”  

“ Thank you, I’m Momo '' the dark haired hero said, noticing how much Olive was struggling trying to piece together who was who. Before they had come Momo and her fiancee Shoto Todoroki had decided to treat her like they had met for the first time. “ and this is Shodo my fiancee .”  

“ I’m Mina! ” Mina said quickly and everyone else followed suit with a quick round of introductions.

“ Yeah I have pictures ” Olive lit up at the introduction. “The fair.”

“ What picture did you have ?” Momo asked, leaning forward.

“ This one of the fair? ” Olive said, holding up the phone leaning over the table to hand her the phone. Watching them Kirishima chuckled leaning toward Bakugou.

“ Why are they across the table from each other?”  

Bakugou shrugged, rolling his eyes, not shocked by the poor seating choices. After coordinating this whole night was he really now in charge of seating as well?

“ Oh that was so fun. ” Momo smiled looking at the photo. Memories of her trip to the US where Olive had given her the grand tour.

“ Oh is that the American Fair? What other pictures do you have? Do you have the one from when we all went to that spa? Do you have the one of us in those masks making the peace sign? What about... ” Mina was bursting with questions going way too fast for Olive to keep up. The poor girl’s smile looked slightly strained as she tried to look like she was understanding more than every other word from the excited pink haired girl.

“You’re going to fast for her! ” Bakugou barked out noticing the very overwhelmed look in his wife’s eyes, “ She's still learning .”

“Oh sorry Olive” Mina whispered looking down at her hands feeling her face flush.  

“Don’t yell at her.” Olive said good naturally in English nudging Bakugou playfully with her shoulder. The blonde looked like the wind had been knocked out of him her words cutting him harder than he wanted to admit. “Which picture did you want to see Mina?”

Before the pink girl could respond the waiter came up to introduce herself and take drink orders.  A look of desperation came over Olive’s face as she looked down at the menu. Anxiety quickly flooded her system. The social pressure of trying to be normal while navigating a language she was still learning was extremely stressful. And this was besides the fact she had no idea what was good here or what she would like to order. Did she had a regular drink here? If so, what was it?

Desperately she looked down at the Japanese characters as if they would suddenly jump out and give her all the answers.  

A large hand slammed over the menu making Olive lookup. Bakugou’s intense red gaze met her hazel one.

“I’ll order for you,” he said softly in English, more of a statement than an offer. His red eyes studding her as if reading all her thoughts. She smiled softly at him making him flush slightly looking away from her to the waiter ordering quickly.

“Thank you” she whispered, her hand gently brushing against his arm. Her fingertips leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. It felt like her touch was fire.

Quickly he rubbed his arm as if he could put out the flames that were licking at his skin.

Fuck. He had it bad.

“Yeah well you looked so lost.” he grumbled looking away turning to Kirishima who was intently watching the conversation with the most annoying smile on his face. “ What are you looking at? ” Struggling Kirishima’s annoying smirk didn’t fade but he offered no explanation for his expression.

Typical.

Lucky for Bakugou the conversation shifted to other things. Work, life, weird food Kaminari had tried last week on his trip to Bermuda.

Olive quickly picked up her conversation with Momo about the place she was looking into for her wedding and life in general. Since they were - as Kirishima had pointed out- sitting across the table from each other, Olive had to basically lean up over the top of the table to shout of the music that was playing in the background.

Bakugou couldn’t help but frown watching as his wife literally looked like she was crawling over. Her eyes bright as the two talked. It was the most enthusiastic she had been in a long time.

“If you want to be with her so bad go sit over there, ” he said, it came out much harder than he had meant it to be. But he was annoyed and sometimes -ok most times- had a hard time masking his emotions. Olive blinked looking up at him confused for a moment before getting up from her seat moving over - much to Momo’s delight- to sit down next to her. He could see her pulling out her phone probably to show off pictures of Dolemite. Or maybe to ask more about the people who littered it. He could tell she felt awkward about asking him those questions. Knowing it hurt.

But also he wanted her next to him. To feel her next to him. To know she was still there with him.

“ OMG I love this song !” Mina squealed as a song came on.

“ Let’s dance, ” Momo said, getting up knowing Olive loved to dance. Normally she was the one dragging the girls onto the floor. At the promise of dancing Olive lit up as she stood to follow them. However before she left she glanced over at Bakugou, as if checking in with him.

“Why are you looking at me? Go!”

Olive flashed him a wide smile before following the girls into the crowd. The other two girls grabbed her laughing as they swayed with the music. Not having to talk just laughing and enjoying each other’s company. The universal girl code of good music and alcohol.

Three songs later and she was slowing down, taking a moment to breathe looking around the dance floor.

And that was when she thought she saw him.

Long blonde hair pulled up in a man bun. A basic flannel shirt, on the shorter side with broad shoulders leaning on the bar, his back to her.

Eliott

Her brain zoned in on it, for a second she forgot he was dead. Forgot he was gone.

That first month after his death she saw him everywhere. Heard his laugh. Sensed his presence. Slowly it had gotten better. His presence slowly fading from the bright sun of the day to the dark of night or in those first moments when she was waking up. And even more recently his presence had slowly faded. Her brain too busy trying to understand this whole new life she was living to focus on the loss.

But as the man turned and she saw it was clearly not him something washed over her. Hit her right in the face crushing her inside.

She didn’t even realize she was crying until Momo came up and hugged her.

“What happened?” she whispered in English as Olive raised her hands to her face trying to stop the tears. But they wouldn’t stop. Her chest so heavy it felt like her whole body was filled with sadness and the only way out was through her tears.

“I just… I thought… I saw Eliott.” she hiccuped, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Momo asked, frowning as she studied Olive. Mina, whose English was not as good, hovered around them both rubbing Olive’s shoulder trying to understand what had happened.

“I just… can't stop crying.” Olive sobbed trying to take deep breaths to gain control of herself.

“It’s been a lot for you.” Momo said, “come here” she hugged the girl for a moment before pulling away.

“ It’s ok to miss someone. ” Mina said, holding out a napkin she had grabbed from the bar.

“Yeah and for you it’s been very recent.”  Monmo added nodding

“I just feel guilty… Katsuki.” Olive fumbled through the words trying to explain all the emotions that were swerling like some muddy concoction in her chest.

“ Oh Bakugou can get over it. ” Momo said, waving her hand trying to keep her words simple so both girls could understand what she was saying, “ he gets all moody but he really cares about you. ”

“ Yeah, the first time I met you he was so… relaxed. ” Mina said, trying to find the right words, “ None of us had ever seen him that way before. ”

“ He was happy. ” Momo nodded, “ He will be fine, you need to focus on yourself.”  

From across the bar Bakugou had lost sight of where the girls had gone. The crowd was getting thicker and thicker as the night had dragged on. He knew Olive would be safe with Momo and Mina there but still, he wanted to make sure she was ok.

And then he caught a glimpse of them. Standing at one of the far corners of the dance floor. Momo and Mina standing over Olive, hovering around her with concern on their faces. For a moment Mina moved and he could see Olive clearly, holding a small white napkin wiping her eyes.

Shit.

“ Hey bro where are you ?”

“ Just drink your beer. ” Bakugou interrupted Kirishima as he quickly made his way to the dance floor. Momo’s eyes met his and she shook her head but he didn’t care. Olive wasn’t Momo’s wife, she was his. They were supposed to be distracting her, not reminding her about her memory loss.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out for her. Olive turned eyes wide, still slightly glassy from her tears. Her makeup smudged. “Dance with me.” pulling her away from the girls who looked like they were about to protest. But one death glare from Bakugou told them not too.

He led her across the floor, his red eyes studying her as she took a few shaky breaths. Trying to compose herself. After a few moments her body slowly relaxed letting him lead as he felt her slowly lose herself in the music again.

“You dance?” she asked looking up at him.

“Depends.” he said shrugging

“Humm” she hummed, nodding like Eliott was what she was thinking. Eliott Eliott Eliott. Even Momo got more out of her than him. He felt like she was more comfortable around everyone but him. “You know” she said leaning forward resting her head on his chest catching him off guard. “I like to be with you too.”

He froze, his stomach clutching tightly, his breath coming out in a short gasp. She looked up at him with those hazel eyes studying him. “What you said about Momo, I like being with you too.”

“I heard you the first time” he said sharply only to soften quickly.

“I… I obviously liked being with you before or I wouldn’t have married you.” she added a genuine grin spreading across her face.  

“That would make sense.” He said nodding as they swayed in the music both caught up in their own thoughts. Eyes meeting, dancing in the lights overhead. For a second it felt as if time stood still and Olive was sworn she wasn’t in real life but in some weird musical romcom. As if her whole life was some televised novel filled with hi-jinks and drama.

Caught up in the moment Bakugou gently leaned forward, his nose brushing hers before pausing. Her heart leapt into her throat at the soft intimate touch. Crimson eyes searching hazel for a moment before moving closer, his warm breath caressing  her ear.

“Let me kiss you?”

- GET TAGGED -

Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm

Master List

[teamwindsorroyals]

I am personally annoyed as hell with the people saying shes faking the pregnancy. I don’t care for Markle but she is pregnant no doubt. I do think she was padding early on though.

Another note, I don’t like some of the articles that have been put out against her as some have had racial undertones but others have been legit criticisms that Kate has also gotten and people still label that as racist which it isn’t. I even had one person accuse me of jealousy and racism when I said that Meghans spending was bad optics. Apparently saying something is “bad optics” means your jealous and racist. I understand royals want to look like “royalty” but there’s simply no reason to spend 500k on clothes in less than a year on clothes.

I think it’s sad to see her fans have this misconception about royalty and think royals have to spend thousands on top designer brands just to look ‘royal’ when that’s simply not the case. It’s like they think the royal family is the live version of all the disney films where they need to be in jewels all the time or something. It’s like they don’t realize that’s there’s good brands, good quality clothes that don’t cost thousands and you can still look like a royal. It’s not just the clothes, it’s also the way the royal carries themselves and takes care of themselves. Showing up to an engagement with a messy bun and ill-fitted clothes isn’t a good look. People think it’s “chic” but this is royalty not hollywood or high school. They also say that her spending is justified with the amount of engagements shes doing but that is also NOT justified. This is where Meghan needs to take a page out of Kate’s book and realize that there are certain events that do not require a 5k outfit. The other excuse is “building royal wardrobe” like really? No other royal has had the need to spend 500k in one year on clothes & they do more engagements than she does. 

My other note, I don’t think the marriage will last. I never thought it would last since the statement was put out. Harry always seemed like the type who would be the one to divorce atleast twice. Hes not stable like his brother & unfortunately never has been. I definitely see divorce rumors by next year. 

I don’t consider myself one of those crazy tinhatters but I didn’t need anyone to tell me this marriage was doomed from the beginning. They both rushed into things and had too many misconceptions about married life. There’s too many other red flags as well. It’s a shame. 

I’ve stood up for Meghan regarding some of the racial undertoned articles but in regards to the sexist & classist articles, her fans should be looking in the mirror with how they treat Kate & the Middletons before bitching about the “sexist & classist” articles against Meghan. The shit they’ve called Kate & the Middletons is disgusting especially when they turn around and bitch about a “sexist” article against Markle, like really? Kate has been bashed for over a decade, so Meghan fans need to grow the fuck up and realize that all royal wives get hammered by the press. 

Cont.

I’m not saying all crap articles against Meghan are warranted but her fans are absolutely atrocious. 

They’ve called Kate & Carole sluts, hags, crinkly bitches etc all over twitter and then five minutes later will tweet an article thats “sexist” against Meghan and will go into pure rage. Clearly these fans haven’t seen the crap Kate has been put through and those who say that they have, yet still complain on articles about Meghan, are the biggest liars. 

Her fans refuse to accept any ounce of negativity towards Meghan and that right there is toxic and the definition of a cult! It’s unhealthy.

Her fans think she’s been treated unfairly yet she got an engagement with the Queen right off the bat, a more expensive wedding than the future King/Queen that the RF paid for no less, christmas with the RF as a fiance as well as other engagements as a fiance that nobody else got, she got quite a few patronages from the Queen within 6 months of marrying. Shes gotten so much that others haven’t, her fans have no room to complain. She’s spending more than any other royal and her fans say shes being treated unfairly? PU-LEASE!!

ok I’ve done my rant for the day.

************

Hi, Anon, Thanks for your submission 😊 I’m just going to edit in my reply.

*********

OK, I resorted to going on my desktop as my phone was driving me crazy.  Probably better as I’m a fast typist.

I started my Tumblr five years ago. When Cressida and Prince Harry broke up, I chose to not rebrand my Tumblr.  I’m happy with the various themes I tend to share.  Of course if there is anything about Cressida that I want to share, I do.  I thought she was (and she is) a class act and her family are fascinating. They’re this fascinating, blended (as in half siblings) family who are related by marriage to the equally fascinating Bransons.

So five years ago and later, I did check Twitter more.  But TBH I prefer Tumblr as people curate interesting content here.  Some of it is recent and some of it is historical. And some of the Tumblr users in the Royal Fandom are extremely knowledgeable.  I’ve learnt a lot!  I also prefer the more visual format.

I do use Twitter just a touch and recently I had someone send a tweet my way with vitriol about CB?  Why? What is CB to this person?  I checked that person’s Twitter feed and it was a whole bunch of obsessive nonsense in support of one Royal and against everyone else. I think if you’re thinking about a celebrity or royal that much, you simply have too much time on your hands and you need a hobby.  I don’t even bother engaging with such people.  It’s an immediate call for blocking.

I was surprised the other day to read someone’s comment that they were too young to remember PW and the DofC’s wedding.  Wow!  That set me back a bit.  Lately, people have been sharing videos showing what the DofC went through with the hoardes of paparazzi while she was dating for the better part of a decade.  I think it’s important to know that about her. Chelsy also had these issues.  And for two years Cressida had to struggle with it as well and still experiences the after effects of her dating PH years.

I think that you can compare the Middletons and MM. Both sides are self made in their own way.  The Middletons are the British version of living the American Dream. MM made a meteoric leap from being a suitcase woman in a slinky dress to a supporting actress and aspirational lifestyle blogger/Instagrammer.  From there she parlayed her way into circles in little ol Toronto that included every person in town who knows PH.  Plus she was chummy with JT (Justin Trudeau).  She certainly knows how to work her social connections.  So if you don’t like the Middletons for their “rise” in society, then you can’t like MM, and vice versa.

I’m not sure why people choose to hurl such vitriol at the Middletons. And with such language.  And I’ve seen the B word put under MM’s photo too along with a lot of critique about her looks.  I always cringe when I hear the age 40 hurled at her as if it’s an insult. If these people are not someone’s cup of tea, fine.  Then focus on something else.

As for MM, it was PH’s choice to want to get married after a relatively short courting period that was mostly done at a distance.  I think that they should have waited longer. But they made the decision and now they need to make it work as they continue to get to know each other.

My rule of thumb is to never write anything about anyone  - including Royals - that you wouldn’t say to their face.

Also, I think if you are fan and you want your favourite Royal to survive in the BRF over the long run, you should encourage harmony and getting along.  On the side of the fandom and hopefully wishing for the same within the BRF.  You should celebrate the positive and not encourage division.

Of course there is room for constructive critique.  MM said she wasn’t really aware of the BRF before she got married. (TBH I don’t believe that.)  But many fans have been following the BRF for years and even decades.  Of course that is looking in from the outside.  But they’ve seen all the drama unfold and know that while it’s not easy to marry into a large and affluent family, it’s even harder to marry into something like the BRF.  As is the case with most large and wealthy families, individuals are in their own silos looking after their own concerns and interests.  You have to tread carefully so as not to threaten anybody or step on their toes. So if MM is making repeated missteps and outsiders can see them, it’s fair to call out the problems.

Leaking to the press?  Not a good idea.  Being seen to be more demanding of staff members or spending more money than others?  Also not a good idea. Of course these just might be spin jobs from other camps but we know how perception is 9/10s of reality as far as onlookers are concerned.  I think it’s better to put your head low and keep a simple profile.  They say a good leader will join a company and will spend six months walking the halls and getting to know the employees before making any major changes.

It’s also been my observation that whether you’re Prince Philip, Princess Diana, the Duchess of Cornwall or the Duchess of Cambridge, if you’ve married into the BRF you can’t take the spotlight away from your spouse.  That’s just how it works. If you choose to not heed this advice, you will encounter push back.

The fashion part is an interesting one. I don’t like this notion of “oh there’s an event tomorrow.  Let’s see what the young and senior female royal is wearing”. They aren’t clothes hangers.  Their first priority is to visit a charity or represent a charity.  Promoting a fashion brand (hopefully from the Commonwealth) is an extra perk.  Many of the senior BRF wear expensive clothes - both casual and fancy. The Duchess of Cornwall is very well dressed and is a leading example of looking fabulous in her 70s. Even the casual clothes they wear can be expensive. EG boy are the Le Chameau rainboots that the DofC wears expensive.  But then for the average person, most of those clothes are expensive.  Even a L350 dress would seem too much. And if the Royals had to wear dresses under L100 for example, like most of us do, they would have to choose from over priced and poorly constructed dresses made out of thin fabric. (Such is the reality of fast fashion these days.  The struggle is real when we hit the shops.  I prefer thrift stores, as a result.)

I don’t think they have to wear clothes from Britain and the Commonwealth all the time but, if you think about it, there’s a vast array of options from Britain and the Commonwealth.  There are some gorgeous clothes out there that could inject interest into Brand Britain and also designers from other countries.  MM has worn some Canadian brands and that’s great.  But it’s a good idea to switch it up and not look like she might be connected to Jessica Mulroney’s business interests.  That perception is out there strongly and that needs to be axed.  If JM is offering styling advice for free, you have to ask - what is the benefit for JM financially?

I’m a bit surprised by the amount of negative press circulating right now. Maybe that’s the reality of having so many more fast moving and soft news outlets like social media. I hope that it will get better after the Sussex baby is born.  Maybe having the Sussexes move off into a little cottage in the woods of Windsor is a good idea after all.

Thanks for your submission. I hope I expanded on the main topics you raised.

[doctortdesigns]

The full preview of the November BurdaStyle Magazine is up on both the German and Russian sites, which means it’s time for another Burda review!  October was definitely one of my favorite issues of the year, and I’m a bit sad to say that November isn’t quite living up to that level of excitement for me.  For some reason this issue feels a bit like the fall leftovers edition.  There isn’t anything really outstanding, but there isn’t anything truly terrible either.  It’s all just sort of there.  But, as always, there is plenty to look at, so let’s get started:

I feel like all the cool coat designs went into the October issue.  The coats and jackets this month really feel like a hodge-podge of leftover designs:

This coat is pretty basic; perfect for the faux fur fabric Burda is using here.  It’s cute – the collar looks really cozy, and the slanted patch pockets are a fun and somewhat practical detail.  I just can’t ever really get too excited about fur coat designs.  They are simple of necessity, and the finished product is nice, if you are wanting a fur coat, but there’s never really much to get really excited about with them design-wise.

This blazer, on the other hand, has some beautiful design details.  I love how the pocket flaps are rotated to the side to create almost a faux peplum effect.  The collarless style is pretty sleek looking too.  Super stylish.

I’m a bit torn on this one – I like the burgundy version with the slim pockets, but I’m much less of a fan of the brown version with the patch pockets.  With the design-heavy burgundy print, this simple style of jacket makes sense; it lets the fabric shine.  On the brown version the patch pockets are almost too much of a contrast and take up so much of the front of the jacket it seems unproportional.  The piping details are fun though.

The dresses this month also feel very recycled and uninspired:

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen both this bodice and skirt from Burda before, though perhaps not together in the same dress.  I like this dress, but I’m not wowed by it.  I also think it is much more successful in the matte wool crepe-like fabric than the ultra shiny satin.  Also, as a heads-up, this pattern is sized in the Burda Tall range.

I really like this wrap dress, but, it is just a wrap dress.  I know wrap dresses are always in style, but between this issue and the Vogue release it feels like they are having a bit of a resurgence.  I like the really classic shape of this one, and the drape of the skirt is quite pretty.

It’s nearly impossible to see the detail of this dress in either the model photo or the garment photo, but the line drawing shows lots of nice seaming and top stitching details.  This could be a great office dress for the fall/winter, especially over tights.  Not sure about the crazy boots the model is wearing, but, you know, to each their own.

Burda gives us a lot of tops this month:

Ok, I know this is a really basic sweater/sweatshirt, but I’d totally live in this all winter.  The slightly oversized slouchy style looks so comfortable!  It’d be a great way to use up some knit fabrics too.  And the hoodie version is pretty cute as well – the different pocket detail elevates the look a bit beyond the typical sweatshirt style.

This wrap top is the same as the dress from above.  I still like it.  Interesting how they showcase it being worn over a button down, almost like a cardigan.  I wonder how well the wrap stays wrapped.

This is a pretty basic button down.  I prefer it in the printed fabric – it looks so much more comfortable in the less stiff fabrication.  I do like the curved hem, and the slightly oversized fit could be interesting for layering, as shown to the right.

I believe this is a faux-wrap top?  The bottom has a faux-wrap peplum-ish style anyway.  The pintuck detail is an interesting feature.  Based on the line drawing I’d not have been too interested, but the model photos are kind of selling me on this look.

The gathered dropped sleeves seem like an interesting detail, but this top really looks like it’s just swallowing her.  Perhaps in a different fabric I’d enjoy it more, but, as is it’s a bit much.

The oversized drapiness doesn’t bother me as much with this pattern, perhaps because of the more fitted sleeves?  It might still be a lot of volume for some people to wear, but she at least doesn’t look like she is drawing in the top, despite it being objectively wider than the previous style.

I’m always up for a good knit top, and this one seems decent.  The side gather could be a fun detail, as could the diagonal seam, which provides some possible color blocking options as well.  I like the boat neck, and it’s kind of just nice to see an option that isn’t massively voluminous or showcasing crazy flouncey sleeve features.

The bottoms this month aren’t too exciting:

Can I just ask – who is wearing this in the fall?  I mean, culottes with boots, sure, Burda’s done that before.  But in a drapey rayon challis crazy print?  I’m not buying it.  In the summer beach issues, sure.  But for almost winter?  Nope.

I can’t tell if the contrast is just a design feature or an actual kangaroo pouch pocket.  I think I prefer the waistband contrast over the possible faux-pocket contrast, but at least Burda is trying to create interesting details with this design.

Sweatpants.  I feel like we’ve gotten a lot of these slightly baggy, slightly cropped, slightly tapered sweatpants lately.  I’d consider making these for lazing about the house, but not so much for actually wearing out and about as a fashion statement.

Ok, I’d like to say that the slight elongation and slimmer fit made these feel more professional, but they seem to have about the same level of fit as the sweatpants above.  And the same pockets.  And the same side zip.  And almost the same waistband.  Like, I don’t mind having multiple versions of the same pattern, but don’t give me two versions of the same pattern and say they are a different pattern.

The Burda Plus section does have some vintage-inspired goodies this month:

Love this coat!  It’s what the Burda Plus section was missing from October.  The capelette style collar is so pretty!  And the in seam pockets are always such a great feature to have on a coat.  If I didn’t have a subscription and I sewed in the Burda Plus range, I’d buy this issue just for the coat.  As is, I’m going to see if my sister needs some new winter wear…

This flower dress was in the October preview for this month, and it gave me such high hopes for this issue.  Sadly, this dress is one we’ve seen before.  It’s a good style – I really like it on the models and in the line drawing, but it’s not something that was missing from the BurdaStyle Plus line.  I’m also tragically sad that the red coat was just a prop and not an actual pattern because I really wanted to see that worn by the model.

Another dress that is cute, but not particularly new or exciting.  I do like the sleeve ruffle here – it’s a cute detail without being overwhelming.

The tunic version is great as well – it could also be a much sleeker version of the dress if you aren’t into all the frills.

I like this wrap over blouse, but it really feels like leftovers from last month, especially in this bright purple color.  The understated ruffle is working for me here – once again it’s cute without being overwhelming.

Based on the line drawing I thought this top would look massive, but I actually think it looks really cute on the model.  The neckline is great – interesting, but still chic and clean.  I love the vintage nod with the hair and styling too.

The kids section is full of last minute Halloween sewing ideas:

To be fair, the bat hoodie is kind of adorable.  Especially if you have a kid who is into Batman or Batgirl.  The swan… all I can think of it Barbra Streisand.

And that brings us to the end of the November issue!  As I said, nothing terrible, but just sort of a whole lot of meh.  Still, for consistency we’ve got to pick a top and bottom pattern for the month.  There wasn’t a whole lot that left me drooling, but in the end I’ve given the Best of BS Award to:

The pretty Burda Plus coat!  I love the soft tailoring, the fun collar, and the inseam pocket details.  It’s definitely a coat that could dress up or down, depending on fabric choice, and it would look great with many a fall and winter look.  Hands down the most exciting pattern this month.  Well, unless you really love Batman.

The BWTF award was a bit more challenging to assign, as nothing was truly disappointing this month, but I’ve decided it should go to:

The crazy summer culottes!  Honestly though, these are a tie-waist culotte made in a crazy print fabric.  There aren’t any exceptionally exciting features to redeem it.  I mean, I do like the effect of the waist tie, but I feel like it could make it harder to get the garment on or off.  I can’t even say I like the way Burda styled it here – it seems so disconnected from, well, everything.  It probably wouldn’t have been in the bottom had it been paired with a bikini in the summer, but, as presented, it really is kind of a BWTF.

And there we have it – another month down, and one more issue left to go!  I’m really hoping for something good in December – I really want some fabulous party dresses Burda!  Or, well, something more exciting than this lot in any case.  I feel like November has often been one of my favorite issues of the year, which is perhaps why this one feels so disappointing, but really, I’m just not that excited.  What do you all think?  Am I being too harsh?  Is there some level of creative brilliance I’m missing?  Am I perhaps too saturated from staring at patterns for my Kibbe posts?  Or is this issue really that disappointing?  There are certainly styles I like, but I just feel sort of emotionally detached from this issue as a whole.  Are you excited for this month or does this feel like a sort of catch-all issue for orphan patterns?  Feel free to discuss in the comments!

November 2018 BurdaStyle Magazine #sewing #burdastyle #magazine #patterns #fashion The full preview of the November BurdaStyle Magazine is up on both the German and Russian…

[theherblifeblog]

Cannabis Use During and After Pregnancy; One Mother's Story

I am a Canna Mom. I make this statement proudly, yet we live in a society where many moms who do smoke will choose to do so in silence, not wanting to deal with the judgement and criticism of others. Worse yet – that their children will be taken by social services. I refuse to hide my use of cannabis, despite being judged. I’m here to tell you all the ways it helped me get through pregnancy and the early stages of motherhood.

While I was pregnant, a girl who I have not talked to in over 8 years sent me a message via Facebook. This is what she had to say:

“I honestly think it’s so disgusting how you are smoking pot during your pregnancy and don’t even try to deny… You should be ashamed of yourself harming that child with that shit. If you can’t be a good parent then you probably shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. I mean come on Jen 7 months pregnant hitting a joint wtf is wrong with you!! I’ll be making sure everyone knows what kind of parent you really are!”

Disdain and persecution like this is not fair, but neither is it uncommon. Had this girl chosen to do some research instead of cyber-bullying me over social media, she may have realized that cannabis is WAY safer during pregnancy than she had assumed. If fact, it’s safer than most (if not all) pharmaceutical drugs while being pregnant. I have done the research, and that is why I will choose cannabis over pharmaceutical drugs any day.

Pre-pregnancy, I was a frequent cannabis user. I wasn’t planning on motherhood, so when I found out I was carrying a baby I instantly cut back my regular usage; however, pregnancy is no cake walk. Hollywood glorifies pregnancy as this magical experience where women glow and feel fabulous. Newsflash ladies, it’s all a lie! Yes, some women love it, those lucky few. I hated it for so many reasons. I won’t go into all the gross details (moms will know what I mean) but I will mention that I had 9 months of morning sickness and all day nausea, an inability to sleep, body aches and pains, depression and; eventually, this terrible inability to shave my own vagina. I even ended up in the hospital with food poisoning! TWICE!

Throughout my pregnancy, the doctors tried prescribing me pharmaceutical drugs for my morning sickness, sleeping, pain, and allergies. None of the drugs offered had been on the market for longer than 10 years, and therefore long term effects were still unknown. This made me feel very uneasy about using any of them. There was; however, something that I knew would help – naturally grown cannabis.

Now, it wasn’t like I was smoking a lot, as I was only using it medicinally. I had completely given up recreational use and began smoking out of necessity. Times when the baby wasn’t getting any nutrients because my nausea was so bad, or when I was so sleep deprived and in pain I was barely functioning.

When it came time to having my daughter I had to go the C-section route, which was something that I was extremely nervous about given that it was my first surgery. She came out extremely healthy at 8 pounds 4 oz (despite the misbelief that cannabis use causes low birth weight). After the surgery they gave me (and every woman who has a C-section) three pills that included an anti- inflammatory (Cannabis does this), an antibacterial (this too!) and a Dilaudid for pain (three for three?).

While breastfeeding (and after the stress of the C Section subsided), my partner asked what was in the pills they gave me. We learned that Dilaudid is a form of hydromorphone, which is an opioid pain medication that crosses into the bloodstream. We both told the doctor we didn’t agree with me taking the Dilaudid because I was breastfeeding, and decided against their wishes to stop taking it. Doctors are okay giving you addictive drugs that will go through your bloodstream, into your milk and to your child. Many are not ok with cannabis, a natural plant that has not been proven to be addictive at all. Being a Mom, you have to learn about this stuff  and make your decision wisely.

The next day my partner returned with some cannabis infused edibles. I had about 50mg of THC, and in about an hour I was up moving around for the first time since my surgery. Cannabis was clearly the safer alternative to the doctors prescribed medications.

A fun fact you probably didn’t know yet is that since the beginning of evolution, women (and men) have an endocannabinoid system, and the body naturally produces cannabinoids in breast milk. In fact, human breast milk is an abundant source of endocannabinoids, but more specifically; a type that basically teaches a newborn how to eat. If not for the cannabinoids in our breast milk, newborns may not know how to eat or necessarily have the desire to do so. Similar to how adults get the “munchies,” a newborn child who is breastfed naturally receives doses of cannabinoids, which trigger hunger and promote growth and development.

So, to all the Canna Moms of the world, let’s unite! Let’s be proud of our parenting choices, and choose not to feel guilty next time we want to smoke a joint. Let’s remember that parenting is hard enough without worrying about being judged or bullied for the way WE choose to raise our babies. As they are safe and healthy, that’s all that really matters.

 Jennifer Loudonio is a proud Canadian, born and raised in Ontario, now living in beautiful British Columbia. She is a mom to the most beautiful, smart little girl, along with her dog Molly the Labradoodle. 

Jennifer attended school and earned degrees in Special Event Planning & Hospitality and Protection, Security And Investigation. The "Jenny of all trades", sort of speak. She is a very ambitious & creative individual who has a passion for photography, event planning, creating handcrafted artwork pieces, modelling, and fashion. An advocate of cannabis. Jennifer loves, supports, encourages and has strong opinions on cannabis. 

https://www.instagram.com/smbuddah/

https://www.instagram.com/loudonio/

https://www.facebook.com/smilingbuddah/

https://www.facebook.com/Loudonio/

[jumpthethunder]

I wish you would write a fic where Emma was the one to bring back Regina’s memories

Thanks for the prompt! My very first one ever!! So I’m going to bend this one a little and have Emma not so much be the one that starts the process, but the one who is there when Regina returns to herself with her memories of life before Roni. Oh, and I sort of set this in the same universe/headcanon as my little blip of a fic “Out of the Woods”, which is on Ao3 if you want to check that out too.

Ok, here goes nothing:

Roni knew the instant the top shelf whiskey slipped past her lips that it was tainted. She’d worked in this bar for years, since she was far too young to have been allowed through the door nevermind behind the bar itself, becoming more than a little familiar with alcohol of all types along the way, and this was (sadly) not nearly the first time someone had tried to sneak something into her drink. She felt the way the drugged liquor clung to the inside of her mouth unnaturally, her pulse rate quickening as her adrenaline picked up and panic began to set in. She had no idea what Ivy’s intentions were here, though everything in her gut had told her from day one not to trust the girl she certainly didn’t expect her plan to involve roofies, and she knew without a doubt that she likely had minutes to act if she was going to get out of this situation before whatever toxin was leaching into her bloodstream knocked her off her feet. 

Ivy was speaking, though Roni had stopped listening several bloated bragging statements earlier, doing her best to look mildly annoyed but otherwise unbothered lest she risk alerting her that she knew what she’d done. The second Ivy turned her back, stilling rambling on and chuckling to herself as she reached for something more her taste further down the bar, Roni was up, silently sliding from her stool and slipping to the corner of the counter, her hand blindly curling around the edge, fingers wrapping around the baseball bat she kept there. She had just barely managed to get a grip on it when Ivy glanced over her shoulder, her eyes showing just the slightest bit of shock at Roni’s change in position before she grinned wickedly and slowly began to approach, her hips swaying confidently, gesturing with the drink her in hand as she spoke,

“I should have known I wouldn’t get that by you. It seems you haven’t lost your knack for sensing when someone is plotting against you. I’m sure you have ample experience with assassination attempts, Queenie.” She laughed again, the sound grating against Roni’s ears as she felt her pulse begin to throb in her head, the lights of the bar suddenly becoming fuzzy and far too bright. Ivy tilted her head curiously as she watched Roni blink once, twice, a hand falling to the counter to steady herself. “Hmmm, seems it doesn’t matter, one sip was all I needed to get the job done. It’s too late for you now, Roni…or should I call you Regina?”  

The name, foreign to her until this morning, tugged at something deep within her mind as an odd tingling sensation began to build just at the base of her skull. She knew this was it, these were the last seconds before the quivering feeling in her legs would become too much to ignore and the tilting of the room around her would take her down. She hoisted the bat to her shoulder with more effort than she cared to admit and staggered a few steps forward. 

“You know what Ivy?”

“Yes, Regina?” Ivy remained completely at ease, not even bothering to back away as Roni closed the distance between them, clearly confident that Roni would be rendered useless before she could inflict any damage. How wrong she was.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but this is MY bar, and you are just a little girl trying to play with the grown ups.” Roni could feel her palms sweating, the hands now both wrapped firmly around the grip of the bat shaking, but she proceeded to take the last step that would put her within striking distance of her target even as Ivy looked like she was going to interrupt with some no-doubt self-satisfied snarking. Before she could speak Roni settled the bat over her shoulder and quirked one eyebrow, a snarl crossing her lips, speaking as she swung with all her strength, “Consider this last call-”

The sound the bat made as it connected with right side of Ivy’s head was very nearly as satisfying as the expression of utter disbelief that crossed the wretched girl’s face before she crumpled, unconscious, to the floor. 

“-Bitch.”

Roni dropped the bat, the metal hitting the floor with a loud clanging, and slumped over the bar, her fingers grasping at the edge to try to keep herself on her feet at all as she felt the drugs in her system begin to take full effect. She knew she had to get out of this room and away from Ivy should she wake up and retaliate, get to a phone and call for help, call Rogers, or Henry–

Henry. 

A pain sparked through her already pounding brain and she cried out, clutching at her head as images of the photograph she’d found hidden in Victoria Belfrey’s office building flashed behind her tightly closed eyes, blending with other images of a young Henry, images she couldn’t possibly know. One foot slipped out from under her and she tumbled towards the ground, her chin hitting the bar on the way down causing her to bite her tongue and shout out in pain once more. She was crying, hot angry tears fall down her cheeks, by the time she managed to start dragging herself blindly across the floor, her vision failing her as flashes of things that had never happened, could never have happened, mingled with her own memories and danced before her eyes. She saw a baby boy, one she’d never known or held, swaddled in blue wailing in her arms, and then he was gone, his face replaced by the ruddy and boisterously laughing face of her own father, the well-meaning bar owner who loved her dearly but struggled as a single father with a taste for alcohol that would ultimately take him from her when she was just 17 years old, leaving her with nothing bad debts and a run-down bar to her name. She saw the car accident that at 8 years old had left her with the scar slashing across her upper lip, but then it was replaced by another scene, one where she was somehow restrained mid-air high up above a forest before being dropped through a thick canopy of trees where branches clawed at her face resulting in the very same scar.She wasn’t sure when she had stopped crawling, when she had curled into a ball grasping at her head, fingers digging into her scalp so hard they drew blood, all she knew was that suddenly everything stopped, just for an instant when she heard an unknown and yet comfortingly familiar voice, choked with emotions she couldn’t understand, call out from behind her, 

“Regina?”

It was the last thing she heard before she passed out, one word echoing through her mind as the darkness took over.

Emma.

She was too late, in classic Emma Swan fashion it seemed, to defeat the villain and save the day. How often had this happened before? Too late to stop Henry from eating that turnover, too late to stop Gold from cursing Regina with the Wraith, too late to stop Hook from kidnapping Regina for Owen, too late to stop the trigger from being activated in the first place thus putting everyone she loved in danger, too late to stop Cora from framing Regina, too late to stop Zelena from taking Marian’s place, too late to stop Hades from making it through to Storybrooke where he could attempt to murder Regina and instead end up destroying Robin’s very soul, too late to stop Gideon and the Black Fairy, too late to stop the curse that somehow stole everyone she had ever loved away from her…again. 

And now here she was 10 years and mere minutes too late to protect Regina from Ivy, or whoever the fuck she was. She had finally found her family, finally, after 10 years, there was Henry (a grown man) and Regina (somehow looking barely a day older than the last time she’d seen her), even Hook’s double and Gold were here (both frozen in time like Regina, though this was to be expected when it came to the Dark One himself).

She had spent the past 36 hours more-or-less stalking Regina, trailing her every step of the way and trying to sort out who this new person before her eyes was-with her leather jackets, torn jeans, and leopard print boots, her swagger and charm, her easy laugh and one serious ability to hold her liquor. She followed her to Belfrey tower and later watched her leave looking shaken to her core, though she was sure only years of being well-versed in Regina’s body language allowed her to see this fact as this new woman, Roni as she seemed to be called, was putting on a solid front in an effort to project an outward cool. It was odd, Roni was so very different from Regina, even in the way she displayed and protected her emotions, and yet Emma found she could read her like a well-loved book.

Emma had decided that whatever had shaken Regi- no, it was Roni, was worth investigating further, so she’d stayed behind, lingering at a coffee shop across the street. Using skills she hadn’t relied on in what felt like a lifetime to break-in after hours that evening and investigate, she soon decided to venture to the secured top level (instinct told her that anywhere that needed a thumb print or a secret code to get into was suspicious). Emma had eventually discovered that luckily for her it seemed her magic still worked just fine when she’d grown so frustrated trying to guess the security code that she’d short circuited the whole panel. With a self-deprecating sigh and a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Regina’s calling her an idiot for not having even thought to try reaching for her magic earlier, she poofed her way into one creepy ass room only to find it empty save for a disturbingly spiky little plant that appeared to be growing out of a pile of dirt on the floor. With a little help from her magic, and 10 years spent with little to do but pour over Regina’s extensive magical library back in Storybrooke, Emma realized exactly what the plant was for and, in a panic, completely forgetting about her magic, she’d literally run down the flights and flights of stairs to the ground level and out to the old Mercedes waiting for her by the curb. She’d broken traffic laws and blown through red-lights on her way and yet still, as she burst through the door of the bar, she knew in an instant she was too late. 

Regina was in a heap on the floor shuddering and alternating between scrambling at the hardwood with her fingertips like she was trying to find something to hold on to and gripping at her own hair and head so hard her knuckles turned white. She was wailing, heart-wrenching screams scratching their way from what was an already raw throat only to be choked back and broken by sobs so wet they sounded like they could drown. When Emma dared to speak her name, forgetting about Roni and calling instead for the woman she knew so well, everything stopped. Regina stopped shaking, stopped sobbing, stopped screaming, stopped breathing, and then, with a rattling gasp, her entire form went limp before Emma’s eyes. 

The minute Regina stilled Emma’s legs starting working again, propelling her forwards until she landed with a hard thud on her knees, dragging the other woman’s dead-weight across the floor and into her lap. For a horrifying moment she thought Regina was dead, that she’d been wrong about the plant and that it had in fact been some agony-inducing form of poison. Her violently shaking fingers reached out and, terrified to find nothing, pushed down gently on Regina’s pulse point. She only realized she’d been holding her breath when it came back to her in a rush upon finding a strong, if too fast and erratically beating, pulse below the skin. She smoothed her hand over Regina’s forehead, the skin clammy and flushed, her surprisingly curly hair sticking to it. 

“Oh god Regina, what do I do?” 

She knew enough about the plant to know it’s purpose, remembered Regina telling her about it back when Henry had been missing his memories and they’d spent hours together trying to create a potion to safely bring them back. But she also knew enough to know that she didn’t know half as much as she needed to fix this. These plants were dangerous, the impact on the mind unpredictable at best and, if not handled in exactly the right way, could fracture an already splintered consciousness beyond all repair. Memories, and the mind, were fragile and tricky things. In order for memories hidden by magic to be recovered like this the mind had to be pushed to just the right point and then given very specific triggers to stimulate the release of those memories, or of a whole hidden persona in Regina’s case. Without knowing how Regina had become Roni, how any of this had happened, it was far more likely that anything Emma did would only serve to further tip Regina’s mind over the precipice into complete and irreversible madness. At this point the best she could hope for was that Regina might come out of this in a state similar to that of Jefferson in the early days after her arrival in Storybrooke, or Graham when his former life began to mingle with his cursed persona. She would be mildly deranged at times, but there would be moments of lucidity. But even this, given the state Emma had found her in, seemed like wishful thinking. 

Lost in thought Emma hadn’t realized that she was now cradling Regina’s body to her chest, rocking gently back and forth, her lips pressed to deep chestnut hair as she murmured her fears and failings aloud. 

“I’m so sorry Regina. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner. I’m so sorry I lost you for so long. I’ve been so alone and then I found you and you weren’t you anymore and you know I think I could have been ok with that, could be ok with that, if you are just ok too, whoever you are now. Please Regina, please don’t leave me again. You have to help me fix this. Tell me what to do to fix this.” 

She pushed tangled curls away from Regina’s face, tucking them behind her ear, her movements frantic yet tender, her eyes taking in every feature of the woman she used to know so well and had missed with an ache that burrowed deep within her chest and refused to let up. 

The woman it had taken her 10 years of solitude to realize she loved more than life itself. 

A tear rolled down her cheek and dripped onto Regina’s nose, alerting her to the fact that she was apparently crying. The droplet ran down her nose, sliding down the side before getting caught in the line that connected her nose to the corner of her mouth and ended up cradled between Regina’s slightly parted lips, and it was then that Emma was struck with a thought. It was something she hardly dared believe, could only barely find the strength in her heart to hope for, before remembering another night when it seemed things were coming to an unavoidable end, when it seemed her own destiny was inescapable and her demise certain. It was the night Regina had spoken to her about hope, about winning when you had no idea how to even fight and it seemed like the deck was stacked against you. 

“What should I do?“

“You’ll know when the time comes.”

Emma let out a watery chuckle, picturing the way Regina had said those words to her like she had complete faith in their validity, complete faith in her, in Emma Swan, the woman she so often (and so fondly) called an idiot. She’d been right then…maybe, just maybe she was right now. 

With one finger under Regina’s chin, tilting her head up ever so slightly, and her other hand cradling the top of Regina’s head so gently, as if she could put her damaged mind back together with shear tenderness alone, Emma bent forward, more tears falling from her face Regina’s. 

“I love you, Regina Mills. I will always love you.” She whispered before closing the last breath of distance between them and placing a kiss with quivering lips to the hauntingly motionless ones below.

For one heartbeat, then two, then three, there was nothing. Emma remained with eyes closed, drawing on every last drop of magic and hope and passion and love that she could find in her body and forcing it outward through their connected lips. The air was still around them. Too still. 

And then a gasp, the air sucked right from Emma’s lungs and into Regina’s as their eyes flew open simultaneously, gazes connecting and holding, locking together as something reminiscent of a sonic boom blew out from around their interwoven bodies. A brilliant light illuminated everything it touched and rippled outwards, through bar stools and bottles, through walls and windows, across a community garden and a cemetery, across a looming tower and a run-down apartment, across a would-be food truck and the shell of a burned-out chicken joint, across a stone troll and the old VW bug held within its mighty fist. 

Emma was the first to break the stunned, reverent silence because, well, she was Emma Swan. 

“Regina?” the desperate longing hope in her voice was unmistakable. 

“You found me.” Regina’s voice was raspy as much from disbelief and awe as from tears and screaming.

“Did you ever doubt I would?” Emma smirked around her own tears, coming now from the joy of it all, the overwhelming gratitude at finally, finally not being too late, not when it counted. Regina laughed, and coughed, and laughed some more.

“Idiot.”

“Yours.”

And then they were kissing again. Kissing and laughing and gasping and holding.

And less than 2 miles away a man sat up in his bed and realized that everything he’d written was true. He was no orphan, he did have two mothers, and a wife, and a daughter. He was loved, so very loved.

And less than 2 blocks away a woman fell off the couch where she’d fallen asleep watching tv and clamped a hand over her mouth as her eyes settled on her daughter’s copy of “Once Upon a Time” and she realized it as all true. She was not alone. She had a husband and mother-in-law who wasn’t wicked or evil. She had a family. 

And in her bedroom at her Step-Grandmother’s penthouse a little girl stood by her window, having watched the magic as it exploded from Roni’s bar, and smiled a toothy grin knowing that she had been right. It was all real and she had a mother and a father who were true loves and she had a Grandmother who adored her, and another she’d never met, and they were going to win. Good will always win. That’s what Henry’s book had taught her even before she could remember that that was what Henry himself had taught her from the day she was born, from the very first time he cradled her in his arms and told her stories of love and redemption and family and hope. Hope and love above all things. 

[wilderyorkes]

Cool [p.p.]

First marvel fic on this new blog! I hope you like it, the only other fandom I’ve written for is Riverdale on my blog @jvghead-jones-iii. Enjoy!

Summary: The reader sides with Steve during Civil War and her skills are tested when she’s thrown into the fight at the airport.

“Run!”

You flinched slightly as Bucky whispered into your ear.

Following his lead, you took off after him and Sam making sure to pace yourself as you sprinted through the airport. You ducked slightly when the windows shattered, throwing your hands up and stopping the glass in it’s path.

“Alright…ow! Couldn’t you have stopped the glass when I was already fully inside the building?”

You, Sam, and Bucky turned to the newcomer who was perched on a beam as he carefully picked out the shards of glass that were embedded in his suit.

His artifical eyes widened slightly before coming to a rest as he spoke again. “Wait, your power is telekinesis? That’s so cool!”

You nodded dumbly as both Sam and Bucky tugged at your arms, the glass dropping to the floor as you were forced to run away from the young hero.

“Hey wait! I didn’t get your name,” he called out after you.

You looked over your shoulder and smirked before answering. “Peter Parker.”

His eyes widened once more as he heard you say his name and he proceeded to swing himself after you, determined to know who you were.

“So…how the hell do you know wonder kid?” Sam muttered as you hid behind a pillar.

You shushed him but answered nonetheless. “You remember that secret mission Tony gave me after the whole Ultron fiasco?” Sam nodded. “Well he sent me to New York to keep tabs on spider-boy. Just in case we ever needed him.”

“Well it looks like Tony needed him after all,” Bucky hissed, a sarcastic smile on his face.

“Listen kid,” Bucky continued. “Get out of here. We’ll handle the spider.”

You started to shake your head, but Sam interrupted you. “No (Y/N). He’s right. Go find Wanda. You guys work well together. Stay safe ok?”

You nodded softly before creeping along the wall, already searching for an exit.

You didn’t get very far before you felt something hit your wrist, pinning it to the wall with a ‘thwip’.

You glanced down to see a white substance and immediately cried out for help. “Sam? Buck? Help?”

“Uh, we’re a little tied up at the moment (Y/N),” you heard Sam’s strained reply.

You looked for a way to get out of the webs but no matter how hard you pulled or strained, they stayed put.

“Strong isn’t it?”

You screamed and looked up at the sound, coming face to face (well face to mask) with Peter.

“Yeah, and kinda gross. Does this stuff come out of you?” you asked, your face twisting in disgust.

Peter’s smile faltered underneath his mask as he tried to converse with you. Stepping closer, he leaned against the wall in what he hoped was a casual fashion before speaking again. “So you know my name, I only think it’s fair if I know yours.”

You snorted but perked up as you heard a familiar noise. Redwing. You glanced out of the corner of your eye to see the small gadget flying in your direction. Glancing at Peter, you motioned for him to come closer, effectively putting him in Redwing’s path.

“Do you web up all the girls you meet?” you asked in a slightly flirtatious tone. You could feel the smirk grow under Peter’s mask.

“Only the beautiful ones,” he responded, enjoying the sight of the furious blush that tinted your cheeks as soon as the words left his mouth.

“It’s a shame that our little date couldn’t last longer,” you commented.

“What do you-”

Peter’s words we’re cut off as Redwing swooped in, throwing him out the window. “Hey! You set me up!”

You laughed out loud at his accusation as Bucky approached you, cutting off Peter’s webbing.

“Mr. Stark? They’re not stopping!” Peter cried out, mildly panicking as the two groups of superheroes charged at one another.

He immediately noticed you, running alongside Clint and Wanda and the intensity of his gaze made Tony look your way. When he saw you look at Clint for reassurance, his brows furrowed slightly.

Sighing and filled with worry, Tony grasped Peter’s arm and pulled him aside.

“Listen kid. You see that girl?” he pointed to you and Peter nodded, his cheeks flushing slightly under his mask. “She’s your age so do an old man a favor and keep her out of trouble yeah?”

Peter bobbed his head enthusiastically. “Sure can do Mr. Stark. I’ll make sure she stays safe.”

Tony sighed to himself as he watched Peter swing away. “Teenagers.”

You ran towards Natasha with Clint but stopped in your tracks as you heard a familiar ‘thwip’.

You twirled around and dropped straight to the floor as a white mass flew over your head and hit the wall behind you.

It was Peter.

“You know, it was pretty rude of you to set me up the way you did back there,” he teased.

A slight smirk spread across your face. “Aw but I set you up with Redwing. He’s not so bad.��

You heard a snort emanate from under the mask, making you giggle. Peter blushed at the sound and cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, uh, you come here often?”

You laughed out loud at his attempt to flirt before stepping closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he gulped audibly. “Y'know Pete, if only the circumstances were different. I might not have to do this.”

“Do what?” he asked, confused.

In a flash, you had him in a headlock. You kicked his legs out from under him and tightened your grip until he collapsed, clawing at your arms as he tried to get you to let go.

When he stopped moving, you let him go and got up, pausing to look down at him as he wheezed and tried to catch his breath.

You help your hand out and located some wire, bringing it to your outstretched hand and quickly tying his wrist to a pole.

“Ow,” Peter hissed as he tried to tear his hand away.

“Good luck getting that knot off. I was in scouts when I was younger,” you said as you walked away, throwing a wink in his direction.

No matter how hard he tried, Peter couldn’t help the blush that covered his face once more.

He was still sitting there minutes later when Tony was thrown his way.

“Mister Stark!” Peter greeted happily.

“Kid,” Tony grunted out, looking him over. “Ah she got you too?”

“What do you mean sir?”

“After you let her go, she came after all of us. Who do you think threw my over here,” Tony muttered as he stood up, blasting the wire that bound Peter’s wrist. “(Y/N)’s gotten much stronger with her abilities I’ll give her that.”

Peter looked after Tony as he flew away.

“(Y/N),” he sighed. “So that’s her name.”

With a grin on his face, Peter swung towards the battle, this time finding himself in an altercation with Captain America himself.

You whimpered in pain as you pushed Clint out of the way, taking the hit that the panther had thrown his way.

“Go help the others!” you cried. “I’ll take care of the king.”

Clint looked at you hesitantly, taking note of the way you were holding the king down with your powers before nodding and running off.

You let the king go and he stood up slowly, stretching and flexing his muscles in a way that resembled the very cat he was dressed as.

“King T'Challa,” you declared, dropping into a low bow.

The king seemed taken aback at your actions before he shook his head and crouched down into a fighting stance.

“I am terribly sorry for your loss,” you continued. “Your father was a great man and although I know you won’t believe me, Bucky played no role in his death.”

T'Challa paused for a moment, not knowing what to do. “Thank you for your condolences Miss (L/N), but I am afraid you are right. I don’t believe you.”

With those words, he lunged at you. You threw your arms up last minute, trying to block him.

It didn’t work and instead you felt his vibranium claws tear through your arm. You cried out loud, drawing the attention of Bucky, who looked at you in concern and darted over to help you fight the panther.

By the time he got there however, you had thrown T'Challa into one of the airplanes, muttering furious apologies as you attacked the King of Wakanda.

Unbeknownst to you, your cries had also drawn Peter’s attention and distracted him from his battle.

He groaned as Cap dropped the walkway on his shoulders and he struggled to hold it up.

Noticing his lack of focus, Steve chuckled breathlessly. “You like her don’t you kid?”

Peter stumbled over his tongue as he tried to deny Steve’s statement.

“Don’t try and hide it kid,” Steve laughed. "I was the same when I was your age.“

“It’s just, she’s really cool Mr. America,” Peter replied quietly.

“Well I hope something works out. I like you kid. Where are you from?”

“Queens,” Peter grunted as he struggled under the weight he was holding.

Cap chuckled once more before running off. “Brooklyn.”

You yelped in surprise as you were pulled aside and came face to face with Bucky and Steve.

“Listen (Y/N/N),” Steve began. “I don’t like this plan but we need you to come with us to locate the rest of the soldiers. When Scott gives us the signal, we sprint towards the hangar and whatever happens, do not stop until you reach it. Okay?”

You nodded as you struggled to catch your breath. “Got it Cap!”

“Also,” Bucky said. “Take some pity on the poor kid and give him your number or something. It’s sad really, the way you two flirt.”

You blushed heavily as you ran off, waiting for the signal, and ran into Natasha who only looked at you and wrapped you up in her arms.

“Thank goodness you’re still safe,” she mumbled. “Go hide somewhere safe. Please.”

You didn’t answer as she ran off, instead focusing your attention on the now humongous Scott Lang.

I guess that’s the signal , you thought to yourself as you sped towards the hangar.

Everything happened too quickly for you to process but all you know is that you were standing at the entrance to the hangar when Vision and Wanda faced off.

Multiple cries were heard and Natasha held Steve and Bucky back as they tried to run to you.

When Rhodey fell, out in the field, the entrance collapsed, and covered you in debris.

The last thing you heard was Bucky, Steve, and Peter screaming your name and the last thing you saw was a familiar Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man™ swinging towards you.

You opened your eyes slowly, groaning slightly at the aching pain you felt throughout your body.

“Where am I?’ you whispered groggily.

At the sound of your voice, Tony (who had been sitting by your bed) shot up straight. He took one look at you before he launched himself at you, gathering you in his arms much like Natasha had done and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Thank god you’re alright,” he muttered over and over.

“Tony where am I?” you asked again. “Where are the others?”

Tony shifted his gaze towards the floor. “You’re in the Raft. You all are. But you’re in the medical wing. You and Rhodey were hurt pretty badly.”

You gasped. The Raft. You were in a maximum security prison.

“Listen kid,” Tony continued. “Cameras are off so take this.”

You tightened your grip over the things Tony had slipped into your palm. Your cell phone, some pills, and a slip of paper.

“You won’t stay here much longer kid,” Tony said. “I’m gonna go get Cap and Barnes and then we’ll get you all out of here okay?”

You nodded softly, leaning forwards to hug Tony again before he got up and walled towards the door.

“Oh and kid,” Tony paused. “Do me a favor and put that paper to good use. You’re still young. Have some fun!”

You chuckled as Tony sent a smile your way before leaving. Looking down, you unfolded the piece of paper, only to let out a laugh when you read the writing.

Hey (Y/N) (I finally got your name btw), I just wanted to say that even though we were on opposing teams, you’re pretty, and cool. I mean you’re pretty cool. I wanna get to know you if that’s alright with you so if you’re ever not busy saving the world, you can shoot me a text if you’d like?

(xxx)xxx-xxxx

-Peter P.

Peter jumped in anticipation as he felt his phone vibrate. He felt the smile spread across his face as he read the message, glad that Tony had delivered his note.

Hey Peter. I’m sorry about setting you up with Redwing but if you’re willing, I have someone else in mind that I think will suit you perfectly.

-(Y/N)

Peter wasted absolutely no time in replying.

First Marvel fic and I hope y'all enjoyed it! I hope it was good!

[filmista]

80′s favorite: ‘The Breakfast Club’ (1985)

“… And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They’re quite aware of what they’re going through…” - David Bowie

Ah, the 80’s! An era of some awesome music (totally irrelevant but in case anyone wondered my ultimate 80’s guilty pleasure song is ‘The Final Countdown’, also anything 80’s Madonna. Confession actually I just plain love Madonna, there secret’s out! Although these days her on stage acrobatics, are starting to slightly unsettle me) And crimes against fashion and excellent teen films.

Teen films were such a popular genre at the time that they almost could have been regarded as an industry within the film industry. And the driving force and brain of it was arguably John Hughes, (‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’,‘ Pretty in Pink’, ‘Sixteen Candles’ etc).

Hughes made multiple successful films in the 80’s but the most famous and the one that’s to this day still the most beloved for its timeless and universal relevance is ‘The Breakfast Club’.

These days despite the fact that I’m now quite past the age it’s characters were it’s one of those films that’s always a blast to watch, time quite literally flies, and there’s always the temptation to simply restart the film.

Not to sound dramatic and all, but sometimes I wish I had seen it during some of the more difficult times I had in high school, it might have brought some comfort, there’s a comfort in knowing: other people are unhappy too and they too sometimes occasionally have pretended they aren’t.

Despite the fact that the film is not without its flaws, I love almost everything about it. From the David Bowie quote at the beginning ( which I still consider as deep and as relevant, I think it’s so unbelievably powerful):

“… And these children
 that you spit on
 as they try to change their worlds
 are immune to your consultations.
They’re quite aware 
of what they’re going through…”

To the Simple Mind’s ‘Don’t You forget about me’ playing in the ending scene as bad boy Bender raises his fist towards the sky. Even the switching between absurd or utterly brilliant dialogues, this is still one of my favorite dialogues in any film:

Vernon: What did you want to be when you were young?

Carl: When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon.


Vernon: Carl, don’t be a goof. I’m trying to make a serious point here. I’ve been teaching, for twenty-two years, and each year, these kids get more and more arrogant.


Carl: Aw bullshit, man. Come on Vern, the kids haven’t changed, you have! You took a teaching position, ‘cause you thought it’d be fun, right? Thought you could have summer vacations off and then you found out it actually worked and that really bummed you out.


Vernon: These kids turned on me. They think I’m a big fuckin’ joke.


Carl: Come on…listen, Vern, if you were sixteen, what would you think of you, huh?


Vernon: Hey, Carl, you think I give one rat’s ass what these kids think of me?


Carl: Yes, I do.


Vernon: You think about this…when you get old, these kids; when I get old, they’re gonna be runnin’ the country.


Carl: Yeah?


Vernon: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night; that when I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me. Carl: I wouldn’t count on it.

This particular dialogue shows something very simple, yet often overlooked fact: some adults simply forget what it’s like to be in a teenager’s shoes, and therefore have forgotten all the angst and difficult times, they can’t empathize anymore.

The teenager in question feels misunderstood, and it’s likely to gather two responses, either they rebel and lash out, or they withdraw even more into their own world, and so the vicious circle of miscommunication between adults and young people is strengthened.

But to return to mentioning everything that I love about the film, I also love everybody’s cliche clothing style (Claire Standish, made me discover the frilly feminine with leather and boots look, which was a total phase I went through for a while) detention rarely looked that stylish and fun.

Honestly, this film made me wish we had detention in my high school here in Europe too, but I was always slightly too well behaved to have even landed myself there in the first place.

Twice in my high school career, I’ve had to stand in the hallway, for not so serious misdeeds, let’s say that my sometimes somewhat big mouth got me in trouble, both times haunted me for an entire afternoon…

Still ‘The Breakfast Club’ was for me one of those films that I knew a lot of people love but that had to grow on me a little, there was a straightforwardness, such a collection of bizarre situations and such a plethora of cliches, that the first time I couldn’t get over them as more flaws.

Of course it’s now safe to say that the first time I saw the film I criminally misunderstood it, as it’s all about using cliché characterization to make a statement: “we’re all different, but we’re not all so different after all” all of us share fears and anxieties of some kind. I don’t blindly love the film it’s got a fair share of flaws and stuff that I simply don’t like about it.

But I can completely overlook these now, it’s one of those films that you just have to let wash over you.

It has as I mentioned quite the lack of subtlety and cohesion at times, it throws logic out the old for its own benefit, (the disappearing principal, the effects of the joint that wear off almost immediately after smoking it?!)

It’s just an at times plain lack of realism, that if you got too cynical and allowed it could ruin your whole viewing of the film. ‘Breakfast Club’ is deceptively simple and straightforward, and it’s in this that it is so smart, it shows things as it is, it shows what’s under the surface of the psyche of plenty a teen.

It solves everything for us, you don’t have to pull back any layers with any of its characters, you don’t gradually discover what’s wrong with each, they literally all fairly early on start shoving their problems in our face, quite literally throw them out there. And that during my first few viewings of the film bothered me to no end; it seemed to me like an easy way to go and one that’s not daring in the least, because you don’t have to think deeply about it.

As time went on I came to see that as part of the film’s charm. ‘Breakfast Club’ can literally be as deep as you want it to be, depending on what mood you happen to be in that day.

It can be a film that you watch just for fun, and just because you happen to like its humour and its atmosphere, or it could be a film that sets you to thinking about deep stuff such as the societal norm and our self-awareness, how we perceive ourselves VS the performance some of us put up each day toward the outside world.

The beauty of the film is that it can be any of those things anytime you want; which is why I find that each viewing of the film can be an entirely different one.

And what initially bothered me about it I now see as endearing and pretty smart. The plot can basically be resumed as this: Wildly different people that don’t particularly like each other are forced to spend a day together.

They slowly discover that each of them is as human, as unique and as flawed as they, every person has a world of their own in their mind.

Underneath the stereotype each of them hides behind, they realize each of them has problems, emotions, and feelings. That each is far more complex than any definition that can oh so easily be put on a person.

Now I don’t know what they do in detention in America, if you do your homework, or if you’re punished by not being allowed to study.

But in ‘The Breakfast Club’ it’s an entire day of free therapy. It shows a simple yet even nowadays very often overlooked fact, life would be a lot easier and pleasant to navigate, if we from time to time could all just sit our butts down and talk to each other (I fervently believe in this).

Exchanging a “how are you” that could instead of being answered with “fine” while your world is going to shit be answered with a genuine “listen, not good at all” and here’s why.

That’s what I’ve always found redeeming about the film despite some of its flaws, the fact that it humanizes characters that are to this day in a lot of American films, just grossly stereotyped. In some of these films, it’s like they all walked out of the same clone machine, disturbing…

‘Breakfast Club’ states that our interests do perhaps define us to some degree; and that we all fit a certain type (I guess I’m the sleazy European, just joking). All of us are either “the film geek” “the film snob”, “the comic geek” or the guy who’s got a permanent residence at the gym and that it’s ok, because each of is an individual, we are not our interests, not entirely at least.

All this is what I’ve come to see in the film over the years, but it took me as I said a while to get there. But while it was a film that I saw many problems with, it was simply one of those films that for whatever reason sucked me in again and again. Simple because the film had something, it’s a something that to this day I still can’t exactly point out, it’s a unique quality in its atmosphere, that pulls you in so much that you forget your surroundings and feel as though you are in that classroom.

I think that something is the relatability of a rainy Saturday, you get up in the morning, and the whole day is still stretched out before you, the day is still rife with possibility. And even if it’s a rainy bleak day and even if that day is going to be spent indoors, it still lends itself towards almost anything.

It’s that same magical feeling you have as a kid during Summer holiday, The Breakfast Club for me has that same quality: no matter how bizarre, how unlikely it is possible in this film.

Or maybe it’s the dialogues that become absurd on occasion, and that doesn’t always feel like the way a 16 or 17 year would talk.

But that is actually delightful in their sometimes sheer absurdity, my absolute favorite line is probably: “Does Barry Manilow know you steal his clothes?” absolutely delightful…

And yet even if they at times get very absurd, there’s sometimes also just an absurdity to life, people do have hilarious conversations that make no sense to an outsider.

‘The Breakfast Club’ actually does a pretty good job of capturing that sheer funnies of life. It’s a laugh at your own misery in the company of others, sorta humor, sometimes sharing your fears with others and laughing about them, is all that it takes to see clearly and no longer be afraid, or at least less.

It’s like when you’ve been having a shit day, let’s say that a pigeon shat on your head or your shoulder, it’s not gonna be funny at the time, but more of than not you end up being able to laugh about it, after you’ve taken a good long shower and you’ve had a nice hot meal.

Initially like I’ve mentioned my biggest problem with the film was the illogicalness of the plot at times, like how the principal so conveniently disappears so that the kids can bond, it would have been more realistic had he given them more grief…

Or how as I said when they smoke a joint; the effects wear off when it’s convenient for the plot. The film does whatever the fuck it wants when it wants. Even if it becomes a bit unreal, surrealists even.

A character jumps over bookcases like he’s in the gym. But hey it was the 80’s, maybe Jane Fonda did that in her spare time “don’t worry honey, just gettin’ some exercise… But now I find that there’s a beauty to it just doing whatever it wants when it wants. It gives a sort of authentic, good-hearted charm.

A charm that some films that make sense at all times don’t always have, they’re almost too perfect at times.

But that’s the thing about ‘The Breakfast Club’ it makes sense while it’s not making sense. The director really used these so-called flaws or things that don’t make sense at the service of his plot, some call this lazy filmmaking but in this case, it works out. As I’ve been mentioning a few times throughout, the film isn’t without it’s flawed to this day Ally Sheedy’s transformation from weird artsy ugly duckling to a beautiful angel, bugs me.

I mean yeah the girl had bad hygiene and all but such a drastic shift in style wasn’t necessary either, a new haircut and just washing it occasionally might have helped.

And there are a few other things, but the ‘The Breakfast Club’s is just in the end one of those films that simply charms me and I forgive it’s flaws, because as cheesy as it sounds (give me a toilet to lean over) it’s got a nice message at its heart.

Acting wise I’ve heard a lot about the film over the years about the quality of the acting, I’ve heard people call it bad and some people say that all of the actors had never been better than they were in this film.

And that’s maybe to some degree true. Molly Ringwald was the director’s darling and did multiple projects alongside Hughes, but not much was heard of Ringwald after the 80’s, apparently, she does mainly Broadway now. It pleases me to know that she’s doing something still in line with acting.

What is an absolute fact is that pretty much all of the actors had their New York minute of fame in the 80’s and I suppose nowadays they’re in some kind of acting wasteland, or you only see them in really bad soaps and films that play at unholy hours, until late at night?

But I’ve personally always thought that even if the acting in it, isn’t entirely without flaws either, it swindles in quality on occasion.

I’ve always loved it, I love every single character and every performance. Though I’ve got my favorites, my favorite character is “the princess”, Claire Standish. I don’t see Molly Ringwald when I see her here but Claire, she’s just perfectly in character the entire times and is natural and convincing throughout.

She’ll always be one of my favorite popular, mean girls, she’s seemingly a spoiled brat that’s actually a sweetheart. the original “poor little rich girl” her parents give her everything, and yet the perfect picture is tainted.

Even she misses something and that’s real contact with her parents, real affection, after all, what good is a pair of diamond earrings when you can’t have a good talk. I love the chemistry between Ringwald and Nelson, there’s a very natural, very authentic feeling chemistry (I was much dismayed when I found out a long kiss between the two was taken out).

Visually ‘The Breakfast Club’ couldn’t be more 80’s everything ranging from the excellent music (gotta love The Simple Minds) to the so highly coiffed hair that it looks like it could catch fire, upon entering into contact with a flame, and the clothes scream the 80's…

Yet ‘The Breakfast Club’ unlike some films of the same time, some also made by the same man. Has a much calmer and tranquil atmosphere, as it does primarily focus on the conversations between the characters.

A lot of ‘The Breakfast Club’ is actually hilarious close-ups of faces and the expressions on them as they react to something. It’s something I like very much as it makes you feel less detached as a viewer, it creates a real intimacy between the characters and the audience, you feel transported into the room.

‘The Breakfast Club’ is a true 80’s classic, that has stayed contemporary. Every once in a while it still makes appearances on both European and American channels.

As I said the unique thing about it is that you can take it as seriously as you wish, it can become philosophical if you warm and it can be good fun, if nothing else. 

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend doing so in hideous, flashy 80’s sportswear, usually to be found in an attic of an elderly family member, that keeps everything under the universal: “It’ll come back in fashion again” Adagio.

“Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.”