#it's not that hard to just shut up and not claim a random person you don't know is faking a condition you don't know much abt

[wereh0gz]

The way ppl will pretend like they know everything abt a random person on the internet from seeing ONE post/video with them talking abt their experiences with something (mental illness especially really stigmatized conditions, physical illness/disability, queerness, etc) is INSANE

[suiana]

(yandere! ghost husband x gn! reader)

In many asian cultures,

it is taught to people to not touch any offerings or money that is left on the ground.

For if you do so,

you shall be married to a dead person.

however, you chose not to heed these warnings and picked up a heavy wad of cash that was left on the sidewalk of a forest.

you picked it up, happily thinking it was just some rich guy who dropped his money while on a nature walk, that you got lucky enough to stumble upon his secret stash.

so you brought it home with you, thinking of all the wonderful things you'd buy with this newfound money you got.

unfortunately, that was just the start of many unexplainable things that begun to happen to you.

"dude can you not close my door?! I'm trying to go on a date!"

you yell at the air, staring at your door which suddenly slammed shut. it had been a few weeks since these events had started occuring. and events as in, random paranormal events. yes, paranormal.

it all started when you found that thick wad of cash on the sidewalk of some asian country and brought it back home with you. you thought you were lucky to have stumbled upon such treasure. like, holy shit that's a few hundred thousand of dollars!

yet the second you stepped foot inside your house, chills ran down your spine and you couldn't help but feel absolutely scared to enter your home.

but you simply shrugged it off, thinking you were just overthinking and worrying over nothing. must be the scary asian ghost stories you heard.

you should've went to the exorcist the second you felt that gut instinct though.

because as the days went by, your lights started turning in and off by itself, your house would be cleaned meticulously even when it looked like a fucking dumpsite a few hours before, and more importantly, you'd start hearing voices of a man who claimed to be 'your husband'.

at first you wondered if you were schizophrenic. holy shit, were you hallucinating right now? why the hell was there this attractive voice that kept on talking to you from time to time?

but it wasn't you being schizophrenic, unfortunately.

for what you were experiencing was very much real. there was now a ghost in your house, or rather around you, that would not leave no matter how hard you tried.

and you came to live with it, until today.

why? because you were about to go on a date with this super sexy guy but then this... this ghost husband wouldn't let you!

freaking slammed the door when you tried leaving! like who even does that?!

"ugh, you're being unreasonable!"

you yell at the air, glaring angrily as you place your hands on your hips. you didn't know where this ghost husband of yours was, but you did know he was near you. i mean, the temperature drop was a clear sign that he was.

"me? unreasonable?"

ah, there he was.

you turn around to face the aur, glaring angrily as you feel your skin prickling. his voice came from behind you and he was whispering into your ear. he always likes to do that, you noticed. speaking from behind.

"yeah, you! dude i just want to get laid!"

you reply in irritation, hands on your hips as you shake your head. you wait for his reply, pursuing your lips angrily before shrieking as you feel him blow cold air against your nape.

"but you have me, don't you?"

"well I don't want you! I didn't know you'd come together with the money! and I can't even use the money..."

you mumble off, shivering slightly as you continue to glare at the air. god damn it, so much talk about being your husband and you don't even know how he looks like! heck, you can't even see him!

"I don't even know how you look like! how could you prevent me from going on a date with this sexy guy-"

in the middle of your complaint, you suddenly yelp as an attractive male, albeit a translucent one, stares right at you, an unamused face as he looks you down.

"well you can see me now."

he mumbles, arms folded across his chest as he glares back at you.

your mouth is dry, cheeks slightly pink as you stare at the man. holy moly! you have a hot husband?!

"holy cow! you're hot?"

"what's that supposed to mean?"

you stare at the male, jaw dropping before you slap your face and look him up and down. he was clad in a traditional outfit, looking expensive and absolutely drop dead gorgeous- well he's dead but... gorgeous!

"damn okay, I won't go on that date..."

you drool slightly, moving away from your door as you continue staring at your ghost husband dumbly, giggling as you walk past him onto the couch.

"of course you won't. you're already married to me."

your husband follows after you, a cold aura following him wherever he went, chilling the area. thankfully the heat in your body helped to warm you up.

"why didn't you show me your face earlier? you're so sexy..."

"well you never asked."

he shrugs before floating over to you and resting his head in your lap. his eyes look into yours, a lovesick expression in his eyes as he traces his translucent hand into your skin, making the area tingle slightly.

you stare down at him, pursing your lips before giggling stupidly and blushing. damn, you really did have a hot husband. even though he's dead, he's still your husband! you only wish he was alive... then maybe you two could get dirty and-

"you know i can still pleasure you right?"

the ghost suddenly deadpans, looking right at you as though he had read your thoughts. you blink at him, not registering his words before you suddenly choke on air and look away.

"oh, are you choking? don't die yet... i like your body heat."

your husband suddenly moves away from your lap, getting up to pat your back in a pitiful attempt to relieve you from your choking fit. all you felt while you coughed was the tingling sensation of cold hands.

"damn you can't just say stuff like that-"

"but you were thinking about it, no? i can hear your thoughts, you know."

you proceed to choke on air again, having yet another coughing fit as your ghost husband continues to pat your back with his cold ghostly hands.

"oh my god just kill me now... this is so embarrassing-"

"no, i already said i like your body heat and you can't die yet."

you immediately shut up, staring at the ghostly male with dead eyes.

before you know it, you're walking to your kitchen to grab a knife to kill youself just to spite him. but of course, you were stopped by your husband who immediately wrestles the knife away from you, smacking your head painfully hard before dragging you back to the couch where he begins to suck your warmth away like a leech.

damn him, maybe you should get an exorcist.

"you know i can hear your thoughts right? you're not getting rid of me."

damn him, you really are going to get an exorcist.

"what? darling i just said no!"

you're getting an exorcist.

[chiscaralight]

#6 on fishy’s failed kinktober! includes: nsfw balladeer!scaramouche x fatui!fem!reader. electrostimulation, slapping, brat taming, degradation, begging.

everyone knows the balladeer has a short temper. his subordinates fear interacting with him for that reason alone, praying to the archons that they'll survive the next conversation they're forced into it with him.

and everyone pities you once you are moved to work under him for a particular mission in a different nation. you're not as highly irritable as the harbinger you're assigned to, but anyone with a pair of eyes and a half-functioning brain could see this would be the breeding ground for trouble.

scaramouche practically demands respect, and even those who lick at his feet can die by his hands in the most random situation. his subordinates are generally expected to shut up and keep their heads low, to just take the harsh words and move on. it’s better to be insulted and alive, right?

but it’s so difficult having to put up with this terrible behavior for days on end, especially when it’s the fault of your colleagues, misinterpreting instructions and refusing to own up, leaving the blame to be carried on your shoulders.

and the balladeer is ruthless with his insults, raining them down on you without further consultation. your anger is bubbling inside, throat closing with rage before you yell out a retort, claiming he should check the facts before spitting abuse at the wrong person.

his reaction is almost immediate, palm connecting with your face harshly, jolts of electro surging through the skin of your cheek in tandem with the slap.

you can barely hold in the near moan you let out, and you freeze in your tracks. scaramouche pauses too, face contorting from a look of shock to disgust as your cheeks flush. he turns, telling you to get out of his office which you quickly oblige, heading back to your resting quarters as you curse yourself for such a stupid display.

he pays you no mind for the rest of the trip, acting as if you didn’t exist except when assigning orders. you thank the tsaritsa's for letting this shameful moment pass and for sparing your life. but that’s nowhere near the end of it.

but the night you return to shneznaya, ready to return home and have a good night's rest after a long and draining mission, you consider taking your life as one of your colleagues states that the balladeer wants to speak to you. the walk to the office feels like a journey into mare javari, full of nothing but injury and death.

you find yourself face to face with the purple-haired man regardless, room deathly silent after you greet him appropriately.

he’s watching you as you writhe under his gaze. he’s closed the gap between you long ago, and he can feel how shallow your breaths are. he knows you’re waiting for him to strike you down, to kill you for the disrespect. but instead, he’s crashing his lips against yours, pressing your back hard into the door as you struggle to understand what’s going on.

do you find your answer? no. but what you do find is yourself bent over his large wooden desk, chest pressed flat against the hard material as he fucks into you from behind. just like his personality, scaramouche is ruthless with his thrusts, one hand fisted in your hair as the other grips your hips. your head is pulled back, and he’s pumping electro into your side.

each jolt is making your entire body twitch, body shifting hard as he keeps you in place with his inhumane grip.

you can barely fathom the evil in the words he’s saying, each taunt and insult flowing straight through one ear and out the other. you’re pathetic, drooling all over his important documents like this after attempting to call him stupid. of course he knew you weren’t at fault, he’d killed the true culprit long ago. your mannerisms had just piqued his interest, and you’re certainly not disappointing him now.

and you sigh as you’re disconnected from the pulses of electricity from the pulses of electricity. he can feel your legs starting to shake, your moans are getting higher, but he won’t let you off that easy. you have to beg. and you meekly shake your head even in his grip. you can’t, you won't. you’re above begging. another harsh slap to the face, very similar to the first one you’d uneasily been thinking about, the one you touched yourself to night after night has the pleas almost flying out of your mouth, broken cries and pants flooding the space of his office while he drinks them all in.

it’s only the bare minimum, but this is the first of many embarrassing situations the sixth has planned to put you in. so his fingers are pulsing with the power of his creator once more, aggressively pushing on your clit, practically shocking the orgasm out of you. your vision is flashing white hot, and you can’t even hear yourself as you cry out, sobbing through the entire ordeal of your orgasm. it’s painfully sweet, and his hips never still until he’s sure you’re both done.

your head drops to the table and he holds you in place, waiting for you to regain consciousness because he wants you out of his office. not exactly because he wants you gone though, he just wants to see how much more power of his your body can take.

[chleem]

Flashing lights prologue

Series; actor Drew x actress reader

Summary: Drew gets involved in the worst scandal of his career. One way to solve it? Proving to the whole world that he’s the sweetest lover to exist. Who better to help than the one person he can’t stand? You, an A class actress with an alcohol addiction. So, will Drew clear up his reputation, or leave with a bigger mess to clean up?

Genre: fake dating, enemies to lovers(?, slow burn, angst, smut,

Warning: mentions of alcohol, swearing, mentions of k!lling oneself, mentions of rape & sa, mentions of drug usage, smoking & vaping,

⋆.˚ please dont copy my work, if inspired please tag me

⋆.˚ this is entirely fictional, if uncomfortable then don't read

♡⸝⸝ ps: chapter 1 out! index

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Talk about a scandal. 

‘Drew Starkey, rising star from OBX, impregnates girl and refuses to take responsibility.’ ‘Drew Starkey impregnates girl and forces her for an abortion.’ ‘All to know about OBX star that SA a girl.’

Even an interview starring a random girl that claims to be pregnant with Drew’s child. 

If Drew knew going to the club a week ago would cause such big damage to his career, he would have never stop foot in there. But being stubborn and a sucker for fun, he just needed the relaxation that clubbing would offer. 

His PR manager Henry, who Drew’s only sees once a year, is surprisingly quiet. He sits across Drew, staring at his laptop. His typing makes up for the quiet and tense (at least for Drew) atmosphere in his manager’s office. 

“I’m sorry,” Drew starts, genuinely, his eyes shifting between his manager Jeff and Henry. “Look, I don’t know who that woman is. She’s lying, alright? I didn’t even talk to any strangers last night. Just my friends. And I was careful with how much I drank-”

“Calm down, we didn’t accuse you of it,” Jeff chuckles, also surprisingly calm and not scolding Drew. Normally, Jeff would scold Drew so hard that it took Drew back to the days of being coached by his dad. “I’ve worked with you for almost ten years, I know you wouldn’t do that.”

Hold up. Was this a dream? He fucked up real bad, why were his managers so forgiving? So… calm? This felt way too strange. They should be furious right now, thinking of a solution and threatening to kill Drew. So why were they so gentle with this situation?

Drew adjusts his hat, pocking his tongue against his cheek. Without thinking, he simply says, “What?”

Jeff glances at Henry, who nods, looking up from his laptop. Drew furrows his eyebrows at Jeff, who simply looks away as Henry starts. “Fine, Drew. We’re all fucking pissed at your mistake. Do you know how many sponsors have asked to break up your contract? Even after we’ve came up with a clean statement? For fuck’s sake, Drew. You’re fucking thirty now, and you still act like a fucking child!”

Drew licks his lips looking away. Okay, this was the Henry he saw yelling at other artists, and what he expected when he walked into the office this morning. But now that he was yelling at him, it felt horrible still. After all, who likes to be yelled at? 

“I’ve had to pull multiple strings to help you, to clear your name up. So you better hope this is your last mistake,” Henry continues. 

Drew couldn’t help but ask, “what did you do?”

“We’ve come up with a plan,” Henry says, walking over to the printer. He grabs the paper, taking a quick look before placing it on the table in front of Drew.

Drew’s eyebrows furrow, sensing something really strange. 

And he was right. On the top of the paper, it read, “Fake dating Proposal.”

What the fuck. He reads through the first sentence in his head, with widen eyes, “In order to save Drew Starkey’s career, he must conduct a year-long fake relationship with Y/n Y/l/n.”

He falls back in his seat. “You’re not fucking serious. This is the strings you had to pull? This is fucking ridiculous! How is this-“

“Drew!” Jeff yells, making him shut up. His face was slightly red, sweat dripping down his forehead. “Drew, trust us. We wouldn’t cause more harm. This, this will save your career, save you.”

“but out of anyone-“ Drew adjusts his hat once again. “Out of anyone, and you chose her?”

“She’s the best choice of right now, and the only one who even agreed. Drew. You’re not in the place of choosing. You sign, and you accept it. Or it’s the end.”

He couldn’t believe himself right now. Literally. Out of every solution, every person, it had to be you. You, the one person he can’t stand. You, the one person that gets him worked up and annoyed. It was like the end of the world for him. 

Worse, his manager seems to agree with this solution. As if he doesn’t know how much Drew despises you. Jeff places the pen next to Drew. “I hate to say this, but Drew, you’re screwed unless you do this. We see the vision, and in a few years, you’ll see it too. Just, just treat this as another acting class, okay?”

Do I have a choice anyways, he thinks. Drew rubs his face in annoyance. Fuck. Damn you and damn himself. Getting into this stupid situation in the first place. 

He looks at the contract again. Sees your name again. And his head hurts a thousand times worse than a hangover. 

He reads through the contract terms, cringing at it. 

‘Must show up at five or more public evens together.’

‘Must show PDA at public events, such as touching, holding hands, kissing etc.’

‘Y/n Y/l/n must talk sweetly about Drew Starkey, and steer away any negative comments.’

‘During the course of this fake-relationship, being seen with any other costar of the opposite sex is forbidden.’

Much more was listed, at least twenty terms were on this contract alone. So this is the real thing. 

And at the bottom, Drew sees what was offered. Wow. You get offered millions of dollars, while all Drew receives is a clear to his scandal. 

He should at least get half the amount you’re earning, considering that he has to put up with you. “How can she get so much cash?” Drew asks, curiosity killing him. 

“Because she’s got nothing to gain from being with you,” Jeff states matter-of-factly, that hurt Drew’s ego more than it should have. He also noticed how much money this was, almost all the money he earned from acting in OBX. Wow. So not only were you a moody bitch, but a greedy one as well. 

Drew rubs his eyes aggressively, a frustrated yawn coming out. He so is going to regret this. The worst decision he ever has to make. 

You better be the savior to his career, or he was going to kill himself. 

Drew signs, pushing the paper away as if it had some kind of disease. 

Henry forces a smile, grabbing the paper. Drew gets ready to leave, but Henry stops him. “Where are you going?”

“Home. I- that was enough for me.”

“No, no. You’re going to Y/n’s filming set.”

“What?”

“Yes, you heard me. Her manager gave the green light, so you’re going.”

“Fuck, it’s only like, a minute since I signed.”

“Hey, I’m saving you right now,” Henry says. “Now, you want your sponsors back or not?”

Drew curses under his breath, never wanting to punch a wall as much as right now. “Fine. I'll go. But I can’t promise that I’m hugging or touching her or anything. She’s a complete stranger to me.”

“We just need a couple of photos to leak out,” Jeff says, grabbing his jacket. “I’ll drive you there.”

“Fucking hate you Jeff,” Drew says, walking out the office. “Henry you asshole.”

Either his managers heard and said whatever, or they didn’t care. But cursing at people who's helping him ‘save’ his career was the least of his worries. His head is just consumed with meeting you again, the brattiest bitch he's ever known.

-------------------------------

word count: 1.2k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: i'm sooo happy for the support and how much people liked the teaser! i was giggling seeing the reblogs and likes.

anyways, thought i should release a prologue first, to give drew's pov of this situation. apologies in advance for y/n's character and anyone who can't handle her! but i'm so excited for you guys to read ch1, which will be released later this week! like or comment to show support, really appreciate it <3

[luvverslair]

Hi!

So, tumblr did a thing! I saw your post that said your requests are open, and the very next post on my dash was a list of prompts and one really stood out to me!

"Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating."

May I request that with Soap/Ghost/Gaz (tho let's be real, it's perfectly believable that Gaz can pull anyone!)

Thank you! 😊

hi !! thank you for your request, i love this idea so much and i hope you enjoy!!

Ghost: When you and Ghost first started dating, you kept it to yourselves wanting to savor your relationship just for the two of you. However after a while, Ghost decided to tell his teammates about you, He started by talking about you to them saying things like “Yeah the missus dragged me out to this restaurant the other day.” and things like that, his fellow teammates would look at him like he was crazy, but would still indulge his conversation thinking he might just be lonely or trying to prove he can have a relationship. Ghost then started sharing pictures of you, whether it be pictures he took of you on dates or just funny ones around the house. This made the team even more confused about the whole situation as they like to call it, they wondered how he found so many pictures of someone online and why was he showing them off like you were actually with him, had he finally gone mad? One day Soap finally spoke up when he was again showing off pictures you had sent him while he was deployed, “L.T, we all know you’re not dating them. Who is that?” before Ghost had time to respond Gaz chimed in saying “Yeah Ghost, you started to freak us out.”Ghost let out a low chuckle before saying “I promise you they are actually with me, I’ll be the first to admit it’s shocking they out of all people chose me but they did.” Soap and Gaz brushed him off still not believing a word he said, that was until one day you came to the base because Ghost had left something he needed at your shared home. You walked into the room seeing Soap and Gaz shooting them a smile before saying “Hi, Have you guys seen Simon anywhere? Or I guess Ghost to you sorry.” They both stood there eyes wide and mouths agape, they pointed you in the direction of Ghost to which you thanked them and went to go find him, from that day forward they never said anything when Ghost would share things about you.

Soap: From the moment you both started dating, Soap immediately started telling everyone he knew about you, he loved showing you off. The only problem was you were gorgeous and seemed like a well-rounded person which didn’t seem like anyone Soap could pull, So when he started telling his teammates about you, they congratulated him and didn’t mind having conversations about you, and then he started showing pictures of you. That’s when the suspension started, nobody would ever believe someone like you would be with someone like him. One day Gaz had enough of listening to him ramble on about some random person that Soap claimed he was in a “relationship” with, “Jeez Soap stop rambling about your imaginary partner, everyone knows you lying about it.” Soap was stunned before saying “Imaginary? What in the bloody hell do you mean imaginary I’ve been with them for months for Christ's sake” He looked towards Ghost before adding “C'mon L.T. you don’t think I’m lying do ya?” Soap fully expected Ghost to call Gaz crazy and say Soap one hundred percent wasn’t lying but boy was he wrong “I do think it’s a little suspicious Johnny, from what you’ve shown me and told me, It’s hard to believe” Gaz smirked at Soap while he was in utter shock, “Just wait ya pricks, I’ll let you met them one day and when I do, it’ll shut you up real fucking fast.” Ghost and Gaz snickered while just saying “Whatever you say, Johnny”. About a month later, Johnny had the opportunity to bring you to the pub as your schedule was free. When you walked in heading over to Soap kissing him before sitting down, You introduced yourself to his fellow teammates shaking their hands while saying “Hi, I’m Y/n, I’m Johnny’s Partner nice to meet you all.” They all stood there in shock.

Gaz: Gaz and you had started dating a while back, he never really thought to mention you to his team, until one day Price was asking him about going out to the Pub on the incoming Friday with him and the rest of the squadron, Gaz quickly declined to say “Sorry Cap, I’ve got a date with the Missus that day.” Soap quickly laughed before saying “Yeah right more like you’ve got a date with your right hand, mate.” Everyone around him let out a laugh before Gaz interrupted them “Fuck off, For your information I do have a partner ya twats.” they all kept making fun of him and calling him a liar he sighed walking out of the room shaking his head, oh would he show them. The following week he had brought you to a restaurant for a date, it just so happened that his teammates were dining at the same place. You both walked in sitting down as he pulled out your chair for you, his task force immediately saw the both of you a couple of tables away, they were in utter shock, to say the least. After the both of you had finished your dinner and you were walking out, Gaz felt their eyes on the two of you so as he had his hand around your back he used his other to flip them off as you both left, before walking the both of you to his car, His teammates didn’t expect that, any of that.

well I hoped you enjoyed this !! it was a lot of fun to write and thank you again for your request and as always any feedback is appreciated !!

luv, luvver

[thaltro]

this ask is a free pass to talk abt did/osdd as much as you want 👍

I love these free passes..thank you..please give me more 🫶🏽

Spending my pass on a rant about the online perception of DID/OSDD

One thing I find interesting is the concept of fake claiming and how that’s affected the community. In 2020 there was a large increase in mental health “awareness” online- mass vague posting of common symptoms and connecting it to larger disorders. This eventually lead to a lot of people misdiagnosing themselves with DID/OSDD. And Contrary to popular belief, I actually think most misdiagnosing was in good faith- younger teens for the first time connecting to disassociation, maladaptive day dreaming, emotional swings, PTSD, and derealization- and genuinely believing they had it. It’s more likely they had more common disorders like maybe Bpd, DDD, depression, psychosis- because there is a huge overlap in symptoms. (It’s also important to note it was also a huge awakening for actual systems too- because I’m definitely not saying everyone who had did/osdd in 2020 was misdiagnosed, in a lot of cases people were right!)

Buttttt

The internets reaction to this wasn’t with reeducation or kindness or even respectful criticism- it created a whole list of “faking signs”. I personally think the people who misdiagnosed themselves harmed the community much less then the people pushing for constant fakeclaiming. And now these arbitrary concepts plague actual systems pushing them into a deeper denial and opening them up to waves of unwanted harassment. Like ok, here’s some common misconceptions you’ll see (all the ones I’m listing are just bullshit and are contradicted with actual medical research)

-Systems can’t have fictives

-Systems can’t unmask

-Systems can’t have littles

-Systems can’t have factives

-Systems can’t have internal relationships

-Systems can’t have high amnesia

-Systems can’t have rapid switches

-Systems can’t have faceclaims or go by different genders/sexualities

ALL OF THIS IS BULLSHIT! None of these actually are backed up with medical research! And the worst part is I see groups of people just harass normal systems who show these normal symptoms and constantly fakeclaim them. I see cringe compilations, r/fake disorder cringe, tik toks, and video essays just spewing this nonsensical shit and it genuinely hurts. (It’s SO ANNOYING when they say shit like “people who do this hurt actual systems” YOUR HURTING ACTUAL SYSTEMS SHUT UP 😭) but Yes I do think there are people out their who do fake this disorder and use it to hurt and manipulate people. But I don’t think that’s the majority of misdiagnosed people. Even if someone was wrong I think it’s safer to just ignore them then to spread misinformation about DID/OSDD and encourage the possible harm onto genuine systems. (Also being wrong and admitting you are wrong is fine)

But yeah I’ll end my rant by saying If you support this weird online fakeclaiming witch hunts then I don’t want to associate with you. And to the self diagnosed systems or suspecting systems, it’s incredibly hard being in that position- harassment is almost guaranteed online and that sucks. Self diagnosis is valid especially if you can’t afford DID specialists- however with that statement If you do self diagnosis its necessary to do research. Don’t look at plural pedia or random websites- I recommend reading the DSM and The haunted self (it explains the fundamentals of structural dissociation)

PDF for the actual book ^^ (it’s also good for self diagnosed systems because it can help you weed out any other possible disorder overlap with BPD and PTSD)

But yeah 🙁 sorry for the rant I’m just really frustrated with the current climate of the internet especially for systems.

[thetriplets3]

whispering to each other + searching for the other’s hand in bed like theyre both tired but cant fall asleep (matt or chris x y/n or smt)

❝𝐢’𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰❞

pairing: matt x reader (no defined relationship but mutual pining?)

warnings: brief mention of anxious thoughts, loneliness, depression, vague mention of suicidal wishes

a/n special thanks to @dwntwn-strnlo for editing this you’re the best and shoutout to whoever it was to color code dialogue i took that idea anyways enjoy 🍿

having my 3 best friends away on tour was hard enough but having a rough few weeks physically and mentally on top of that was really hard on me. since i've moved here i haven't really made any friends. parties, events, and crowded loud places aren't my thing which makes it hard to meet people. sure i've met people the odd time the boys dragged me out but i was never able to hold a conversation let alone willingly go up to people. which brings me to now.

the triplets asked if i wanted to come on tour with them but i was in the middle of the semester, the busiest time. so i've spent the past few weeks alone, only leaving when i had to work. it sucks having no one to be able to go do things with, to talk to, and to just be there.

mindlessly clicking through the stories of people i follow, just trying to distract myself from my own thoughts, my screen reveals the faces of the only people i wish i were with right now. my heart aches watching them have the time of their lives being able to explore places they always dreamed of and getting to show their personalities on stage. don't get me wrong i'm beyond happy for them and how successful they’ve become the last few years, but i just wish i were with them. quickly hearting matt’s story of him posing in front of the bean in chicago, i drop my phone beside me and get under my covers, curling up. he seemed so happy being on tour.

i lie there, thoughts wandering, and tears gently flowing as i realize how truly alone i am. my thoughts are disrupted when i feel my bed softly vibrate. lazily rolling over, i grab my phone only to be met with a text from the person i yearned for the most. matt.

heyyy look who’s alive!

where’ve ya been it’s been a while since any of us heard from you?

you doing okay?

unfortunately i've been busy, midterm term time sorry edited

i’m fine

looks like tour’s fun, you look happy

unfortunately? please take time for yourself too you can only do so much if you’re not at your best

you’ll do great on them don’t overwork yourself love

it’s a blast seeing new places, meeting new people, i just wish you were here

shoot i forgot you can see what the other person edited

i was kidding. i’ll try

i wish i was there i miss you but it makes me happy seeing you be successful

we’ll be home before you know it i miss you too

and with that i turn my phone off for the night and bury myself under my covers in a desperate attempt to shut my brain off from thinking things it shouldn't. as the hours passed i tossed more and more not able to fall asleep, stay asleep and get comfortable. peeking at my clock to see the glowing 6:44am, i roll over shoving my face into my pillow and let out an unnecessarily loud groan. seeing no point staying in bed just to not be able to sleep i pad my way to the living room, claiming it my spot for the day. i put on a random season of the office to fill the silence and loneliness that i've sadly become used to. having seen the office far too many times, it's become a comfort background show, making it easy for me to fall asleep.

i accidentally ordered a package to your house from the last time you used my amazon prime to order something. it says it’s been delivered could you just put it aside for me? have a good day

staring at my phone i reread matt's text a few times, my mind still fuzzy and confused thanks to my lack of sleep. finally understanding it after the 5th time, i wrap my blanket around my body and trudge over to the door to pick it up. opening the door and checking the ground for a package i'm met with beat up air forces instead. startled, my head whips just to confirm it's who i thought it was.

matt.

all the loneliness, emptiness, sadness, yearning to see you hit me at once, a wave of tears overcame me as i engulf you in a hug nearly sending you and i to the floor. no words have been spoken, there's no need to. i immediately bury my head into your chest, your one hand coming to cradle my head as the other holds me securely to your body. we stay like this for a few minutes before you slightly pull away grabbing my hands and placing them around your neck, sneaking a quick peck to my cheek as you do so. your hands snake around my waist and gently lift me, bringing both of us into my house. closing the front door we make our way to the living room sitting on the couch turning to face each other.

god i missed you. today was our last day of tour but we were gonna stay there and explore the city for a few days but i couldn’t wait any longer i needed to see you. i was worried about you and couldn't bare the thought of being away for another second.

i missed you more. things haven’t been right since you guys left

like what?

it feels stupid to say out loud but ive felt so alone. like i have no one other than you guys and that makes me feel so pathetic that i rely on you guys so much. i haven't been able to sleep that much my mind just won't shut up i kept thinking about you guys and worrying about something bad happening to you it's stupid i know. heavily sighing i roughly wipe my face drying the tears that i tried so desperately to not let fall.

hey what did we talk about? every thought and feeling is valid they’re not stupid don’t say that.

you stand and offer me your hand and lead me to my room where we crawl into bed. you pull me as close to you as you possibly can. my head on your chest with my arm loosely draped across your body, your cotton shirt carelessly balled up in my hand. your arms wrapped around my torso like your life depended on it. god i missed this

i’m here now okay? everything’s okay, i’m okay, my brothers are okay, nothing happened to us. we’re not going anywhere for a while and when we do your coming with us. and don’t try and say you won’t be able to because of school, you’re coming no matter what. i can’t go that long without you, nothings the same

i won’t put up a fight i don’t want to do this again this was horrible being alone for so long. i missed being in your arms, feeling like nothing bad will ever happen because i have you here

as you place a gentle kiss to the top of my head a comfortable silence falls over us and we bask in this moment of being in each others arms again. my eyes grow heavy but my body is still fighting sleep like it has for the past few weeks

you can sleep now i’m here i’m not going anywhere i promise. i love you so much sweet girl

with the hushed tone of your voice and gentle pecks on my forehead, i feel my body grow heavier with sleep. i blindly reach my hand around searching for yours which you seem to pick up on what i wanted, placing your hand on mine and give it a squeeze once and a while letting me know you're right there.

goodnight sweet girl. i’m right here

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @lollibumblebee @ssturniolo @20nugs

(i can’t remember who it was but i saw someone color coded the dialogue and that makes it so much easier to read so shoutout to you if it was you)

[star-vibing-prompts]

☆Some random ass prompts☆

Feel free to change the pronouns and stuff! Feel free to credit me or something, I don't really care???? Just make sure to claim them as your own.

Also maybe '@' me if you use these! I wanna see what y'all do!<3

"Who said you can have her? If you want her, you'll have to go through me!" "...disappointing but fine."

A is pregnant and B is dead. How is B dead? Who knows? However A is stressed and is still grieving for B. How does the child birth go? Who knows? All up to you.

B invites A to a midnight dinner to discuss some important matters and just what are these important matters that got A all horrified and shocked?

"Hmm...I guess it could work, but will it really?" "I don't know, I'm just going with my gut here." ".....we're all gonna die....."

"I will bite you!" "Oh fuck you!" "...the sexual tension between those two is unreal holy fuck.."

"Hey mama? What's papa doing?" "Your father is being stupid but at this point, I'm used to it." "Is that how you guys met? Him being silly?" "Haha, yes little one. Indeed so."

A is a bit chaotically unhinged and B is a tired workaholic that wants A to calm down for a second so B can confess their feelings to A.

A and B are dating and are planning on getting married very soon, however, C has been feeling very lonely since the two first started dated so they want to join in on the relationship but aren't sure how to bring it up to the two without sounding creepy or awkward or desperate.

C and B are snuggling and A joins in on the snuggling session. Poly ships go brrr!!!

^^^ "Who knew A can be this affectionate when snuggling, huh?" "Haha yeah." "I can hear you y'know? So shut up and let me enjoy this."

Smut prompts! (Read at your own risk)

"Mmm..that's it baby~ just moan for me and me only~"

"Aww~ you're so cute. Do you want your daddy to give you a reward for being such a good girl?~"

"Me. You. Bed. Now."

"Oh? You like it when I bite? Why didn't you say so sooner?"

A is horny as fuck and is usually the dominant one in the relationship but tonight B is horny as fuck and decides to show A how much of a dominant person they really can be.

^^^ A is so into that shit.

B wants to spend quality type with A privately but A is always at work so when they finally have a day off, B had decorated the room to "set the mood". Does A like it or not? All up to you.

B's boss comes to visit B and A, however, he ends up flirting with A while B is fuming with jealousy. However, B easily scoops A and starts aggressively making out with A to prove and show B's boss that A belongs to them only.

"I will fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk for a few months! Understand?" "Mm kinky. Why not do it right here and now then babe?~"

"What the fuck are you?" "I'm a sex worker." "..oh-" "Got a problem with that?" "No...but can you fuck me?" "Heh, if that's what you want~"

Yandere prompts!

"You belong to me only darling!"

A shy innocent looking yandere x A tired asf college student

"Aww,,you're so cute and gorgeous when you are all dolled up like this! What's the occasion? You aren't going with that BITCH are you?"

"I love you! I love you! I love you! Wait- hold on- why aren't you saying it back? You do love me back right?" "O- Of course! I lo- I love you too." "Yay! But why are you crying? Who hurt you?!"

A emotionless yandere x A bright sunshine

A is a yandere and practically forced B into a relationship with them by using their secrets and loved ones against them. B is absolutely fucking miserable and probably beyond broken and saving (emotionally wise)

A werewolf yandere x A vampire

"Whoever said you can't leave? You can leave but all you gotta do is tell me where you're going on what day and at what time! Okay love?"

"No! You must stay with me! It's the only way that I can be truly happy! Please! I'm begging you! I love--no--I - I must love you!"

"I promise I'll always be with you but...you gave me no choice, I had to. I had to protect you from him. I'm sorry my love."

[autisticlee]

words are hard. explaining is hard. remember that while reading

the amount of disabled people on thos website who make posts going against each other makes me so sad. there's too many posts of "such and such people/random person are talking over people like me and making us look/feel bad, but they're wrong and not suffering as much so need to shut up!" can we stop invalidating each other because you claim they're invalidating you by speaking about their struggles????? can we all support each other instead????? ableism within disabled community here is awful.

I get it. sometimes people say a thing and you think it takes away from you or makes you feel bad. but that doesn't mean they did it on purpose/everyone with their condition is doing it on purpose. doesn't mean they know you and your feelings. doesn't mean their feeling is invalid because it hurt yours! and if it's just a thing you saw on tiktok, don't blame entirety of people with the condition because one or two people on tiktok don't speak for everyone! (not everyone uses tiktok either so don't act like everyone is getting info from there)

it's so frustrating and disappointing! can't say anything on here without upsetting and offending another disabled person because many different or new reasons every day! like you didn't mention that they have it worse or say yourself isn't suffering as much. or you use a phrase or word thar helps you but another group gatekeeps it. or you're simply "talking over" people you don't even know that decided you don't suffer and struggle enough because they "have it worse" and want you to talk about THEM and not just yourself. on your own blog. but somehow know to mention them and advicate for them so they don't have to or something???? is confusing.

words are hard. hard to explain this!!! but is frustrating and upsetting to see many disabled people here targeting each other more than ableds. example there's many posts of physical disabled vs ND, acting like being ND can't be disability. do you want to borrow my brain and see if it disables you more????? sometimes see opposite where ND is harder than physical disability. do you want to borrow my body and see if you can live easily??? see many physical disabled vs other physical disabled, example "cane user can't complain because I need wheelchair!" type things. or ND vs ND "I have more ND than you because I cant do *thing* alone but you can so you can't complain about struggling because you're talking over my bigger struggles"

I GET IT. everyone wants to feel valid and not feel talked over and all that stuffs. but stop fighting each other!!!!! stop invalidating each other because you feel invalidated/assume they are trying to invalidate you. is nothing but invalidating loop!!!! stop assuming everyone must talk about you and your struggle before their own because you think their voice shared means yours is blocked. stop having disability "Olympics" in which you jump through metaphoric hoops to prove you're more disabled and deserve most attention and more voice and everyone below is taking that away! learn how to support each other because we know ableds don't like supporting us!!!!!! we all suffer and struggle. why act like fellow disableds don't or arent allowed!! 😭😭😭😭😭 this is for both people that use tiktok to do "quirky" stuff or are able to push through struggles and want to act like everyone can too. and people with higher support needs that think lesser needs have super easy life and talk over them if they make post about their struggles. I see both!!!! a lot!!

never see anyone talk about ableism within disabled community and how it is bad for all of us!!!! but sure see lot of.......

I know. i'm bad at words. dont try to misunderstanding and attack and be mad at me! if you experience real problem with this you are valid in your feel. you can feel! but maybe don't do generalizing and invalidate all because one person or a few or tiktok did or said things you don't like. that make sense???

[mashimarshmello]

Just a Little Longer

pairings: choi hyunsuk × gn!reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of weed and vapes, swearing, cussing, kind of cliché, suggestive (a lot of kissing and/or making out and touching.) lmk if i missed anything. minors dni!

word count: 2.17k

"everybody make some noise!!!" the host of the party turns up the music, blasting it so loud that the neighbors could hear. it would only be minutes before they start complaining about the disruptive noise.

you on the other hand have been doing your own thing for an hour or so. talking to friends, dancing, sipping on cup of alcohol that barely even got you buzzed but you're okay with that. ever since you got settled in, the mixture of the weed and vapes are making your stomach hurt and your friend can tell you're uneasy. the smell is a little too strong for your liking so your friend grabs your hand.

"here, let me take you upstairs." they walk you up the stairs and take you to the back room.

you walk in and turn on the light, making your way to a chair to sit on.

"make sure to not close the door all the way. it's jammed from the inside, but if you get stuck, call me." your friend says as they leave the door cracked before leaving.

a few minutes in the room and your feeling a little better, deciding to go back to the party and find your friend. as you walk closer to the door, you get startled as a random guy runs into the room and slams the door shut. the man is hyperventilating as he brushes the hairs back that's fallen in his face.

he finally looks up to meet your eyes. the only facial expression that he could read from you was distraught. he was confused until you opened your mouth.

"why did you close the door? the handle is jammed on this side!" you yell at the guy in frustration.

"shit. i'm sorry, i forgot! there was some drunk that wouldn't get off me and i just hid somewhere!" he panics. you walk towards the door and bang on it as hard as you could.

the boy kept tugging on the handle trying to see if he could break open the door but it was no use. you two were stuck in a random person's room at a party your friend dragged you to.

you tried calling your friend but there were no bars on your phone. the boy with you didn't have his phone on him, claimed to have misplaced it. a few minutes pass by and you came to terms with being stuck in a room with a stranger for who knows how long.

right now, you're playing with a small rubber ball on on the bed while the stranger is making random beats across from you on a sofa. you hear him vibing and humming softly, therefore you pause your actions and observe him. but that doesn't last for long until he feels your eyes on him.

"...am i bothering you?" he asks, stopping to look at you. you were so spaced out looking at him, you didn't even realize he was talking to you.

"huh? i'm sorry, what did you say?"

"is my humming bothering you? i'll stop if it's too loud." he responds.

"no, it's not. i was just distracted." you start playing with the ball again. the guy spoke up again.

"what's your name?" he asks.

"y/n. you?"

"hyunsuk."

"well i'm sorry we had to meet this way, hyunsuk. stuck in a room with somebody you don't even know." you sigh, pressing the back of your head against the bed frame.

"i actually find it kind of peaceful. i'm always around a bunch of people anyway."

"really?" you raise an eyebrow. "wow, i guess i read you wrong."

"i'm assuming you read me based off how i look?" he questions and you nod your head.

"what did you even think about me?" he smiles.

"i had a feeling that you were more outgoing and on the extroverted side. you seem friendly and according to the last 5 minutes of me being stuck in here, you're also a music lover. you also have a good sense of fashion but that’s just a bonus."

hyunsuk was surprised by your observation. "at least you didn't describe me as an asshole." he laughs. his voice seems more welcoming now that you're engaging a conversation with him. you chuckle at his response as you huddle your body up in the bed.

"but honestly, you did pretty good. you weren't too far off." he compliments.

"yeah i know." you smile. "i just picked up your vibe and went with it."

while he's talking to you, he finds your smile nice to look at.

"how about we keep talking to pass the time? maybe it'll fly by faster." hyunsuk suggests. you nod and ask him and start off with a non surprising question. "what's your favorite music to listen to?"

the boy looks up and taps his chin. "hmm that's a good question." he takes a couple seconds to think. "i would say i like most genres but hip hop is my favorite."

"interesting." you sat up and fixed your posture. you tell him your favorite music as well, he says that you have good taste which causes you to smile. hyunsuk likes seeing your smile, so he tries to make you smile as much as he can.

"okay, next question. what are your hobbies?" he found you intriguing. you answer him and tell him all the things you like to do and end it with that you like sleeping a lot. he laughs at the last part of your reply.

"that's kinda funny because i don't sleep as much as the average person." you raise your eyebrows and ask him why he doesn't sleep that much.

"well, music is everywhere around me. i write and compose songs, i dance, make my own music, and i love it so much that i wish there was more time in one day so i can keep going."

"you're actually saying 24 hours isn't enough time in the day?" a shocking look appears on your face.

"crazy, right?" he smiles and looks down.

"maybe a little, but it just means you're determined and love what you do. you found what to do with your life and you make it happen." you rest your hand under your chin and look into his eyes. he mummers a thank you and shies away from you.

you slowly start finding interest in him and found it quite fascinating how he found out what to do with his life already. his winsome personality makes you want to talk to him even more.

"have you ever traveled?" you continue on.

"yes, actually."

"where? everywhere?" you say sarcastically.

"somewhat." he chuckles. "i've lost count. i just recently came back from japan, though."

your eyes broaden. "wow you've been to japan? i've always wanted to go. i heard it's so beautiful."

"beautiful is an understatement." he walks over to sit beside you and you didn't mind. as he sat by you, you smelled his scent as it hits your nose, reminding you of strawberries as you smile to yourself.

"you should definitely visit sometime." he nudges your shoulder, your smile beamed once more.

you kept talking to hyunsuk for a while as the time passes by. you don't know if you've been talking to him for 30 minutes or an hour but the way he made your heart slightly skip as he flashed a smile or grazed your leg with his knee — whether it was on purpose or on accident — you wanted it to keep going. you were kind of into the conversation and small banter you two were having.

then all of the sudden, you hear muffled sounds from the other side. you raise up quickly and make hyunsuk slightly jump.

"wait, do you hear that?" you turn your head and walk to the door. you put your ear up against the door. hyunsuk follows your lead and put his against the door as well.

"there are people close by. we can finally get out!" you quietly shout toward him. "wait!" before you bang on the door, hyunsuk grabs your fist. you look at him in confusion, wondering why he would stop you from getting someone to open the door.

"actually, can we stay in here for just a few more minutes?" he looks into your eyes with such infatuation. you furrow your eyebrows at him.

"i just really really like talking to you..."

"...maybe we can stay in here for a little longer?" his hinting was vague, but sly enough for you to figure out what he meant.

you don't hesitate and lean closer to his face, grazing the bottom of his lip with yours.

he can already tell you're a tease as he smiles while your lips just barely touch his. he can't help but wait any longer. he pulls you into him as your lips connect for the first time.

the rush of adrenaline you have comes out of nowhere and takes over. you take him back to the bed and lay him down. you hover over him and press your lips on him again. the kiss had butterflies floating in your stomach. hyunsuk wrapped his hands around your waist and licked the bottom of your lip and slowly bit it, asking for more.

you slightly smirk and give back the same energy. his hands slide up your waist, pulling you in closer as you tug on his shirt. you part ways for a few seconds so he can give you the green light. he nods and you proceed to take off his shirt. then you target his neck, gently kissing and nipping at his skin as he responds with a sigh and tightening his hands around you.

you don't think you have ever felt this way. the idea of you and him alone has you feeling driven, and you know it's not the alcohol because it's not even in your system anymore.

you kiss back up to his lips and a "please" escapes him. you take his hand and slowly drag it down your body until he touches the hem of your shirt. he helps you pull your shirt off quickly and throw it to the side. hyunsuk feels you up and down gradually as he kisses down your neck.

you make your way to his jeans and grab them until you hear the door open.

"y/n? are you still in here- wow." your friend came in and walked in on you and the shirtless man. hyunsuk's face is flushed all over while you were relieved and let out the breath you were holding onto.

"thank god it's only you, you scared the hell out of me." you press your hand on your heart.

"i see you got a little busy? sorry to ruin it but my mom is telling me i've got an appointment tomorrow morning so we gotta go." they flash a fake smile. "i'll let you say your...goodbyes." they leave the door cracked.

you turn back around to see hyunsuk putting his shirt back on. you internally pout and almost fail to recognize the redness covering his face. but then you let out a chuckle and grab his face. "are you blushing because of what happened before or after my friend caught us?"

"stop it." he smiles looking away nervously. he sees your shirt and holds it in front of you. "you're probably gonna need this."

"haha very funny." you both laugh as you stand up and put on your shirt and hyunsuk follows.

"well tonight was fun." you smirk, playing with his shirt that was once discarded from him.

"oh really? which part?" he bites his lips and he looks at yours. "all of it." you respond, giving him one last kiss before you go.

"just making sure it wasn't when you first yelled at me."

"what, did i scare you?" you ask. "no."

you raise an eyebrow. "maybe.." he mumbles. you laugh and grab a pen from beside you and write your phone number on his arm before heading out of the room.

"text me." you say as you leave and your friend rushes you down the stairs eye boggling you until you two reach a quieter place.

"hyunsuk? choi hyunsuk? you lucky bitch!" they yell. you laugh at their surprised, yet impressed expression upon their face.

"what about him?"

"what about him?! he's hot!" your friend lightly shoved your shoulder. "yeah, i guess he's nice on the eyes." you shrug.

"both of your shirts were off and now all you're saying is that he's nice on the eyes?'" they quote.

you admit he's really pretty and really nice to talk to. a whole different vibe from anyone you ever met, but you decided to keep that from your friend so you wouldn't get your hopes up.

"do you know anything about him..that i should know?" you ask, scratching your head trying to come off as nonchalant as possible.

your friend scoffs at you. "i knew it, i knew you liked him."

[ravenzeppeli]

Claimed

Chapter 40 - History Finds Itself Repeating|Formaggio + Illuso x Reader Angst|

Warning: strong/vulgar language, cheating, stalking, physical abuse, verbal abuse, noncon threat, choking [murder attempt], extremely dark chapter. MA.

2 Months Later

Formaggios POV

"Thanks," Formaggio muttered, tossing two 50s on the ground next to the random blonde that just finished sucking him off. "Make sure to keep your fucking mouth shut. Last bitch told my girl, she don't need to know this shit." He turned to the side, sliding the condom filled with cum off of his cock, letting it fall to the ground. The condom made a plop on the ground, his sticky white cum spilling out all over the alleyway floor.

"I'll keep my mouth shut," the girl muttered, snatching the money off of the ground. "Your cock is like, so amazing. I wish that you would be my boyfriend. You're so handsome."

A laugh escaped his lips, his eyes rolling. "You don't gotta compliment me for more money, honey. You did okay, I'll give you a little tip." He slid a 20 out of his pocket, this time handing it to the young woman on her knees in front of him. "My girl never fucking compliments me."

"I'm sorry," she replied, taking the 20 and shoving it in her bra, along with the two 50s. "If you're ever looking for a girlfriend, I would compliment you every day. A strong man like you deserves to be loved."

Money was a little tight, as it always is. The boss hardly paid him shit, but this little honey was feeding into his ego hard. Being complimented by a woman felt so nice. Why couldn't you compliment him like this? It'd be nice to hear how sexy and strong he was from the woman he loved instead of some random honey.

"Just take the rest of the night off, honey," he replied, slipping a 50 out of his pocket and handing it to her. "Buy yourself something pretty. And remember, if you run into my girl, walk the other way immediately. I don't wanna hear her pretty little mouth bitching me out for having fun." Fun, it was just harmless fun. Harmless fun that you wouldn't find out about again.

💜🧡💜🧡💜

Formaggio never felt bad about his personal affairs. What a man did in their private business was their business alone. He took good care of you, and he made sure that you were happy. Sharing you with six other men also made him feel less guilty about getting his dick sucked. It's not like he was fucking these girls and spending time with them. It was just a way to relax after a hard day. What's the harm in that?

He planned to approach you as soon as he entered the base, but you were already outside as he walked over to the front entrance. Illuso was standing directly beside you, his hand having an iron grip on your waist.

"I'm going to tell him what you've been doing," Illuso immediately snapped at you, unwrapping his arm from around you, his eyes locking onto Formaggio. "Are you fucking clueless? Am I fucking clueless?" He questioned, red eyes filled with a mix of panic and anger.

A feeling of anger quickly washed over Formaggio, looking past Illuso to land his glare directly on you. "What the fuck did you do?" He had no fucking clue what you could have possibly done, considering you were a pretty low maintenance and well behaved girlfriend. Never did he have to do much of anything with you unless he wanted too. He couldn't even recall a time where you've ever asked him for anything.

"I didn't do anything," you muttered, eyes dropping to the ground. "Just drop it, Illuso. You don't need to bring Formaggio or anyone else into this. We've all done bad things here, and my thing is less bad."

"Shut your fucking mouth," Illuso snapped at you, turning back to look at you. "It doesn't matter what the fuck we do! You mind your goddamn business like we mind ours when it comes to you! You fucked up, you crossed a goddamn line!"

"Fucks going on?" Formaggio questioned, stepping forward, feeling completely fucking clueless. What could you have possibly done that was so fucking bad? That would actually cause him to give the slightest fuck? "You cheating on us? That what it is?" A scoff escaped your lips, his eyebrows immediately shooting up in surprise. "Illuso, what did she do?" He didn't take his eyes off of you.

Illuso walked past Formaggio, hand reaching forward as he grabbed your jaw, his fingers tucking under your chin as he yanked your head up, forcing you to look at Formaggio, "She's been fucking following us. Watching us. For goddamn three months."

"What?" Formaggio questioned, more shocked than angry. How did he not know that you were watching him? This had to be a misunderstanding. You weren't capable of anything. For fucks sake, he never even let you use your stand, he just made you drive them around while they did the heavy lifting. All you were was just their pretty little girlfriend, you weren't capable of successful stalking anyone. Suddenly, he laughed, shaking his head. "If you caught her doing it once then it doesn't mean that she's done it before." Fuck, Illuso was an idiot.

At times, you were a little sneaky. He'll give you that. During the night, you always seemed to slip out of his bed before he woke up. It's been months since he's woken up, and you've been next to him. Even when he clings to you, you still find a way to sneak out of his bed and go sit on the couch or in the dining room. Maybe you were just good at walking on your toes, he didn't fucking know.

Illuso let out a dry laugh, "She's been paying the girls that have been sucking our dicks." His grip seemed to tighten as the amusement suddenly draining from Formaggios face. "Wanna know how I found out? It was pure fucking luck, all because I mark the money that I give Y/N." His eyes immediately cut over to you. "You think you're so fucking smart, don't you? Think you're smart enough to embarrass us and never get caught?"

"You only got caught because you do what he does," you spoke calmly, giving your shoulders a gentle shrug. "It's more complex than that."

Formaggio felt as if his heart was about to explode out of his chest. With disbelief, he stared at you, shocked that you actually did all of this without getting caught. "How did you catch her?" He muttered, not taking his glare off of you as he stepped closer, leaning down slightly so that he was in your face. "More complex?" He felt like a goddamn idiot. How could he not have realized you were watching him? How did he not know that you were aware of his cheating? Goddamnit!

"I went to get my dick sucked this morning. Asked the girl for change, and she pulled out a bunch of 20s," Illuso spoke, shaking his head. "When I give Y/N money, I mark the right hand corner with a small red x to see if she ever uses the money I give her. When I threatened to blow the girls brains out, she spilled the beans and told me everything. Says our little girlfriend approached her and some other girls, paying them to give us longer and better blow jobs."

"Why the fuck would you want us to cheat on you?" Formaggio snapped, his hands balling into fists. "Y/N, what the fuck?"

You said nothing, your eyes dropping to avoid his glare. Visibly, you were stiff, uncomfortable with how close he was. How close they both were. Nearly 8 months together, and still you couldn't stand him. Still you made him fuck you with a condom on as if he had a fucking disease. All this was starting to really get under his skin, and he had a feeling that Illuso felt the same way as him.

"She's trying to get us to fall in love with another girl," Illuso muttered, his hands dropping to your throat, jaw locking. "That fucking bitch told me everything Y/N. How you approached them and were paying them, telling them be extra nice to us and compliment us. I was wondering why all these random cunts were saying my dicks amazing and I'm fucking attractive. You fucking little.. you.. you fucking..." He seemed to be struggling to find the words, his hand grasping tighter at your throat. "How dare you humiliate me!"

Formaggio stepped back a little, not being able to take his eyes off of you. This was insane. He had no idea that you were capable of doing something like this for months without getting caught. On top of that, all these random women now think that his girl hates him! This was a tricky situation because both Illuso and him did tell you that they wouldn't cheat on you. So your lie was just a reflection of their lie, so what the fucks he supposed to do?

"Can't we just be coworkers?" You questioned softly, that getting you an instant slap across the face from Illuso. "Is that a yes? We can just coexist together. You can do your thing, guys, and it'll be fine. I just feel like it would be better if you both broke up with me." The slap didn't even make you flinch, the red handprint mark staining the side of your cheek, your head remaining in place.

"You're gonna get a beating," Illuso snapped, raising his hand, Formaggio immediately noticing that it was a fist. Quickly, he grabbed Illusos fist, dragging him away from you. "Man, what are you doing!? We need to beat her ass! She's been doing crazy shit all because she wants us to dump her!"

Beating you was something that Formaggio so badly wanted to do. Of course, he wanted to punch you in the face and bend you over his lap. So badly, did he want to scream at you and threaten you for stalking him, scare you so badly that you throw up all over yourself like you did last time. When you acted up, you deserved a good beating. That's just what happened when you crossed lines. But a different idea suddenly crossed his mind.

"You know, a lot of times you've stalked Illuso and I, it's been at night," Formaggio added in, causing Illuso to immediately freeze. "Doesn't Ghiaccio have a certain rule that forbids you from going out at night all alone? One that will get you in trouble with him?" You weren't the only one that fucking knew things.

Dread washed over your face, a smirk quickly spreading over Illusos. "I think I should give Ghiaccio a call and tell him," Illuso added in. "I bet he would be so fucking pissed at you. It would probably ruin your relationship with him."

Formaggio let Illuso go, staring into your eyes and finally seeing that you were nervous. This was his chance. "We aren't going to be leaving you. In fact, I think it's time you tell us something very important." He placed his hands on your shoulders, forcing you down to your kness. "Get on your knees you stalking cunt, don't say shit or I'll call Ghiaccio."

You let him force you to your kness, a smug look appearing on Illusos' face as he stepped forward. "Look up at us." Grabbing a fistful of your hair as he leaned down, he snatched your head back, forcing you to look at them. "You're so smart, aren't you? We'll turn you into a dumb bitch."

"Don't hurt me," you muttered, "I didn't do anything wrong. If anything, I was helping you both out. I don't love either of you, I want you to spend more time with those other girls. The less I see you both the better." How are you still not fucking scared of them? You should be begging not to get beat, not pushing them further!

"You disobedient bitch," snapped Illuso, but his grip loosened on your hair. "I love you, you clueless fucking cunt! I fucking love you! That was the first time in two months that I cheated!"

Formaggio smacked Illusos' arm. "It's not cheating if it's condom blow jobs! It's not cheating if we fucking pay for it!" He raised his hand again, wanting to slap Illuso, but that was mainly due to his frustration with you. "Illuso, fuck this bitch. Fuck her. She doesn't love us. She never will. She's just pussy, that's all she'll ever be in this family."

"I'm a part of this team, and you'll never be able to get rid of me," you spat out, your blank face turning dark. A glare that he found more cute than threatening spread across your face, your eyes locking onto Formaggio. "You are a garbage excuse for a man. I hate you, and I hate you more than I hate Illuso. Laying down next to you at night makes me feel sick. I hate when you fucking touch me. I'll never care about you cheating, it just makes you look like a jackass. Enjoy never being cared about by me, I can't stand you bitch. Call Ghiaccio and tell him. I don't give a fuck."

A man can only take so much before they snap. Fuck it, he didn’t give a fuck. Fuck holding back and not hitting you. With all of his force he raised his fist, cracking it into the side of your skull. He didn't care about damaging you brain. In this moment he found himself wanting to fucking rip you apart. If only he was allowed to use his stand on you. He would shrink you and finally make you feel fear. Risotto knew all of them so well, it was smart that he forbid the men from using their stands on you. If he didn't respect and secretly fear Risotto then he would break that rule, but he wouldn't dare cross his capo.

Your head roughly jerked to the side, blood beginning to pour from the side of your skull. If it wasn't for the grip that Illuso had on your hair, then you would have probably collapsed. Illuso immediately let go of your hair, your back leaning against the brick wall as your head limply hung. Silence came from you, your body still as a rock despite the drops of blood that puddled in front of you.

"You want me as an enemy, you fucking bitch!?" Formaggio yelled at you, pushing back Illuso roughly as he tried to grab him. "You got one now. We are done, just like you want. You aren't my girl anymore, and now that I have no reason to protect you I'm going to make your life a living hell! I'm going to break you, I'm going to destroy you!" He dropped to his kness in front of you, hands tightly grasping around your throat, forcing you to look at him. Forcing you to show fear. "CRY! YOU FUCKING CUNT, CRY!"

With speed, you spit in his face, coating his face with your bloody spit. A forced smile suddenly spread across your lips, and that smile was meant to taunt him. "I'm free from you. Why cry?"

"If we fuck her up too bad then we're fucked," Illuso quickly added in just as Formaggios hands tightly locked around your throat. "Let go of her throat man, you're going too far." He felt Illusos hand on his shoulder, attempting to pull him back.

Just as he was about to let go, you said something that completely stunned him. "You drove your family to suicide," you gasped out, your voice hoarse. "You're a curse!"

The consequences were clear and laid out in front of him. If you died because of him, then his death would follow. Hell, even Illuso might end up dying. Killing you would be him outright betraying his entire team as well as the little bit of love he had for you. He did love you, in his own sick and twisted way, but he didn't have self-control right now. Not after what you just fucking said to him. Today.. all three of them were going to die and he didn't care. He wasn't afraid of death. Fuck this. Fuck everything. How dare you bring up his mom and sister.

"I LOVED MY MOM AND SISTER!" He screamed, beginning to squeeze as tightly as he could, watching the life drain from your eyes. Good. Die. "Die, die you fucking cunt! I hope you burn in fucking hell bitch!"

"Formaggio, no!" Illusos fist suddenly cracked into the side of Formaggios face, his nose immediately leaking blood as he let go of your throat, his nose making a weird popping sound. "She's my girlfriend too! You can't fucking kill her! Want us all to die!?"

"FUCK HER!" Formaggio snapped, quickly getting off at you, ignoring your low gasps for air. He grabbed his nose, giving your stomach a rough kick as he got up, a satisfied hum escaping his lips as you finally yelped in pain. "Look at you now.. pathetic as you were the last time I beat the fuck out of you!"

Temporarily, he let his anger turn towards Illuso. He raised his hand to punch Illuso, freezing when he felt your hands suddenly wrap around his ankles, weakly attempting to pull his leg back. What the fuck?! You should be crying in pain and begging for his mercy!

"P-pussy," you spat out, voice hoarse and weak. "I.. would have.. finished the job!"

Formaggio reached for his gun, Illuso grabbing his hand, stopping him from blowing your brains out. "Let's just fucking leave. She's supposed to be spending the night with me. We'll just leave her at the base. Fuck it," Illuso told him, keeping his eyes on him. "Please don't fucking kill her. Just chill man."

You let go of his ankle, your hand grasping the brick wall as you began to slowly rise to your feet, your face completely hidden from him. From a gap in your hair, he saw a dark bruise on your neck, a pool of blood surrounding you. "Just.. fuck off.. let me be.. alone," you whispered, slowly moving towards the door. "Both of you.. no more.. relationship. Break up forever." You were hardly making any sense, but he could get what you were trying to say.

"I didn't break up with you," Illuso snapped at you. "And I never will! You are my girl, and you are a Formaggios girl, whether you like it or not! Go be a good girl and clean yourself up and go lay the fuck down!"

"Scum," you spat at him, a sigh immediately escaping his lips as he reached past you, opening the base of the front door with one agressive twist and push. "Bitch."

"Go to bed," Illuso commanded, pointing inside of the base. "We love you. Don't you fucking forget that. Families fight but they stick together."

"Neither one of you are my family," you muttered, this coming out more clear as you shuffled into the house. "Dumb fucks."

The insults were pissing Formaggio off, making him want to attack, but he was holding his composition. You were too far for him to successfully be able to prick your finger and shrink you without Illuso striking, and maybe killing you was a bad idea. In so many ways, you provided them with love and comfort. That was something that he didn't want to let go of despite almost taking your life. Fuck.. he made a mistake.

"You're still my girl bitch," Formaggio called out, keeping his eyes on you as you vanished into the base. "And I'll be coming back here expecting an apology real soon! Straighten yourself out cunt, I can do what I want with you! I'll fuck you up while I fuck you! I could fuck you right now if I wanted too!"

"Don't threaten to rape her man," Illuso snapped, his eyes going wide. "Fuck, you need to take a break from her! Stop talking to her, and you shut the fuck up too Y/N!"

Formaggio assumed it was over until he heard your footsteps immediately running back, something immediately crashing into the side of his skull. "Goddamnit!" He screamed as he heard something shatter, his hand immediately raising to the side of his face. Blood leaked from the left side of his face, his eyes trailing down to a broken glass ashtray in front of him. No way. No goddamn way did you actually come back and throw something at him. He was stunned, completely stunned that you dared to throw something at him.

"How about I fuck you!?" You screamed, rushing towards him. "I'll fuck you up! Want me to rape you!? I'll do it, I'll be the one that ends you before you end me!"

Illuso launched at you before you could get to Formaggio, lifting you up. "Y/N, relax! Nobody is raping anyone, for fucks sake! Formaggio, just leave, I'm staying with her!" He dragged you into the base, slamming the door shut. "Hey, do not fucking hit me! Stop it right now Y/N, I'm in no mood to have a fist fight with you!"

Formaggio stood stunned, his eyes wide, actual tears filling his eyes as he realized that he made a big mistake. It didn't matter if Little Feet made no appearance. With his bare hands, he almost murdered you. If Illuso hadn't cracked him in the nose, then he probably would have killed you. Fuck. This was very bad.

The blood pouring from his head and nose indicated that he probably needed to go get looked at. The pain he felt throughout his entire body was sharp, a low ringing beginning form in his ears. Almost killing you should have broken you, but from the banging and yelling that he heard from Illuso inside indicated he might have awoken something very bad in you. This was too far. All you did was stalk them and pay some girls to compliment them. Why does he instantly lose his cool? He just couldn't help it. The fact that you still didn't love him and made him wear a condom to fuck you.. it really bothers him.

Going in there and helping Illuso with you would be a bad idea, considering that you were attempting to fucking attack him. Hopefully he could convince you to keep your mouth shut or come up with a good lie. Fuck, he needed to convince you to keep being his girl too. Thank God Melone and Ghiaccio were out of town for a few days, and Pesci didn't fucking intimidate him. You just could not tell Risotto. Now that he was starting to calm down this wasn't worth dying for, and he might just end up getting fucking killed for what he did to you.

[honeybellexox]

Chapter 4

Important TW - this chapter contains strong self harm ideation.

Fear had settled into Khushi’s chest as she bolted from the room. An angry heat flushed through her body, coloring her golden skin a bright scarlet hue.

Khushi chewed the inside of her cheek as she sluggishly made her way back to the kitchen, mentally cursing herself for losing her composure. He just had a way of getting under her skin.

Khushi spent the rest of the afternoon doing odd chores around the home in an effort to avoid him. For the most part, she had been successful.

However, she had caught glimpses of him, here and there. Every time she had seen him she had felt her breath hitch, worrying that he would finally come over and chastise her for the events of this morning. He didn’t.

In fact, Arnav had maintained a polite distance towards her. It was different. Not quite like how he had ignored her previously, which had been icy and harsh. This felt considerably more respectful, kinder even.

The few times they had come across each other, he had held her gaze. There was a softness there that hadn’t existed before. A pensiveness. Not a single word had left his mouth yet his eyes spoke a thousand. Each second had felt like an eternity and each time, the moment would be broken by a curt nod from him before he carried on with his day, leaving a Khushi in a state of deep wonderment.

Khushi found herself in the kitchen, as she began to prepare the evening tea for family. A task that she delighted in.

She murmurs a little thank you to Devi Maiya under her breath, for the simple reason that Arnav had not yet confronted her for the events of the morning. The flicker of relief quickly became apprehension, it was difficult to let her guard down as she had become intimately aware of Arnav’s volcanic temperament and she didn’t quite trust what the night would bring.

Night.

Khushi froze at the thought, her hand retracted from the teapot handle as her eyes dart towards the kitchen wall clock. 6.30pm. A few hours before nightfall.

Khushi’s mouth begins to dry up.

During the period of Arnav’s departure, Khushi’s fear of the dark had manifested into a fear of the night. The culprit behind this change was non other than Shyam.

Shyam.

Khushi bitterly cursed the man in her mind, his vile actions had exceeded what she thought he was capable off. He had taken full advantage of her husband’s absence.

His regular leering and jeering had turned into frequent visits to her bedroom, unannounced and at random hour and then defiling her husband’s shower. As he had slowly taken claim of her marital bedroom, he also advanced upon Khushi. As if she was another possession in the room. He had become alarmingly comfortable touching her and invading her personal space.

A frightened Khushi had let it slide a couple of times, verbally shutting him down until he had insinuated going a step further, she had finally snapped.

She struck him, hard.

Khushi felt a sense of sickness bubble within her as she examined the now faint sallow fingerprints that marked her wrist. The mark felt sinful.

Shyam had furiously yanked her wrist and twisted after she had raised her hand at him, she could still remember how his face had contorted into something that could only be described as demonic. Ugly, rageful and twisted, his spindly fingers had clutched her wrist so tightly she had feared it would break.

His dark promise was still etched in her mind.

“Don’t misunderstand my love for weakness, Khushiji. I have been far too lenient with you, next time I won’t be so kind next time.’’ She had winced as he gave her wrist a harsh twist “Understood?”

Now, Khushi was left with an ugly bruise on her wrist as a reminder, lest she forget. The more she stared at it the more her repulsion grew and so did the desire to rip it or burn it off.

Burn it …

Her eyes flit to the delicate floral teapot that sat prettily on the tray, almost mockingly.

The hot steam that oozed out from the teapot, tantalized her. Her hands reach out to it …what if -

“Khushi bitiya! Come quickly! Look what chote brought back!” Nani called out from the main hall.

Khushi blinked, as horror and shame overcame her. She quickly placed the teacups on the tray and made her way to where the family had gathered around.

The entire Raizada clan had gathered around the main hall, eagerly awaiting their presents that Arnav had brought back from his trip.

He had gotten something for everyone, everyone except Shyam.

Arnav had looked around his bag briefly, and then pointedly announced that he had no idea where Shyam’s present had disappeared. Khushi secretly felt a sense of giddiness, this must be one of Devi Maiya’s punishments!

Anjali shoots Shyam a disheartened look, but Shyam was quick to placate her, saying the best present was to have his Saale-Saab back, alive and well.

Arnav narrowed his eyes at Shyam. There was an angry buzz of energy in the air. Stifling and uncomfortable.

‘‘Don’t worry, Jijaji, I’ll make sure you get your present.” Arnav promised through gritted teeth. Khushi couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow, she felt unease at the tone of voice. Was she imagining this tension or had it always existed?

Khushi discreetly takes in all the faces around the room, the Raizada’s were all merry and smiling, seemingly oblivious to the exchange between the two men. Were they blind or was it Khushi? The last face Khushi fell on was her sister, Payal’s.

Payal returned the look, she had noticed it too. An unspoken question lingered before the two for a brief moment.

Anjali breaks the tension.

‘‘Chote, you forgot someone else!” Her voice was full of mirth and sounded like twinkling bell chimes.

Arnav raises an eyebrow at his sister, a quizzical look in hie eyes. Anjali offers him nothing but a cheeky grin.

Nani sighs, shaking her head in amusement.

‘‘Chote, you forgot your wife!’’

‘‘I didn’t forget, Nani, Khushi will be receiving her present in private’’ Arnav replies, his gaze was solely on Khushi now, who had started to redden. Anjali playfully nudges her, finding delight in her brother’s rather bold declaration.

Shyam, however, had tightly clenched his fists.

Khushi doubted he was being honest about a present, not that she cared much for one.

After everyone had dispersed, Payal latched on to her younger sister. Guiding her to a secluded cubby area that they had discovered in their few months of living within Raizada mansion. It was rather odd reflecting on it, despite being such a large house there was never a sense of true privacy. There was a sense of something omnipresent in the air, a feeling of being watched. Both Gupta sister’s had felt it and had still not fully adjusted to it.

‘‘Jiji, is everything okay?’’ Khushi asked, suddenly concerned.

“I wanted to ask about Arnavji … is there something going on between him and Shyam?”

Khushi paused, taking in the question.

“I’m not sure…Arnavji hasn’t mentioned anything, I wonder if something happened between them.”

Payal frowns.

“ Do you think he knows?…about Shyam?” Payal asks, her brows knitted together.

The question pierces Khushi, dread builds up as she imagines the worst case scenario, if Arnav indeed knew about her link to Shyam. No it couldn’t be…it just couldn’t.

Khushi shakes her head.

“No Jiji, if Arnavji knew wouldn’t he ask me first? Wouldn’t he do something? I don’t think it’s that …it can’t be”

Payal nods, her expression still unsure.

“Hmm you’re right Khushi, perhaps it was something else. Not hard to imagine given how repulsive that Shyam is” Payal snorts as she continues. “But as we are on the topic, I want to ask you if you’re okay Khushi…if everything between you and Arnavji is fine? I thought you would be happy when he came back …but you still don’t look yourself..’’ Payal’s soft voice trails off.

Khushi gently grabs a hold of her older sister’s hand, giving it a tender squeeze.

‘‘I’m perfectly fine, Jeeji, I wonder why everyone thinks I’m not!’

Payal raises an eyebrow.

“You don’t look well, Khushi.” She says, as she checks over Khushi - examining her and even placing her hand over her forehead and cheeks to check her younger sister’s temperature.

Khushi breaks away from Payal.

“Jiji, I swear on Devi Maiya I’m fine, I’m healthy. Why don’t you believe me?”

‘’Because this isn’t you, Khushi, I don’t like seeing you like this…you look colorless and frail, you barely ate anything at dinner again, don’t think I didn’t notice!’ Payal states sternly.

Khushi shifts around, nervously. She lets out a rather exaggerated giggle.

‘‘Oh, That! …it’s just that I-I’m dieting! I want to lose weight for Arnavji’’ she blurts out, Khushi realized how stupid her words sounded as soon as they left her mouth but it was too late.

Payal shoots her an incredulous look, her jaw dropping at the revelation.

‘‘Arnavji thinks you should lose weight? You?! That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!’’ Payal exclaimed.

Khushi didn’t know how to respond, knowing that she would only further dig her own grave if she opened her mouth, so instead she offers Payal a slight shrug.

Payal’s mouth sets into a firm line and Khushi inwardly cringes as she recognises the fierce, tenacious look that had come over in her sister’s eyes.

She braced herself for Payal’s next words.

‘That’s it, I’m having a word with Arnavji’

There it was, the final blow.

Payal had started to make her way towards the stairs as Khushi leapt into action.

‘‘Jijiiiii! Noooo! You can’t talk to Arnavji!!’’ Khushi desperately flailed after her sister.

Payal stopped and turned to face her.

‘‘Khushi, I have to talk to him, he needs to realise that it’s not okay to say these things’’ Payal states.

Khushi racks her brains, praying for Devi Maiyaa to intervene.

‘‘You can’t talk to him! You can’t because…because I l-lied. He never said those things, I was just pulling your leg Jiji!’’ Khushi admits, adding a loud obnoxious laugh at the end, for good measure.

Payal gasps and lightly whacks Khushi on the arm who in turn pouts.

‘‘What am I going to do with you, Khushi?’’ Payal sighs, rubbing her temple.

Giving up Payal leaves, not before adding ‘‘make sure you get something to eat before bed!’‘

Khushi was once again alone with her thoughts.

That was a close call!

Khushi mentally thanks Devi Maiyaa as she makes her way towards the bedroom once again .

———————————————————————-

Notes:

I’m so sorry for the long, long delay! I’m still not happy with the chapter and my inner perfectionist is flaring up (I’m cringing posting this knowing I’ve probably misread/missed something) but i sincerely hope this is still enjoyable. I have rewritten this chapter so many times and I’m like screw it, posting it now lol.

There were a couple of points I wanted to touch on such as an emphasis of the sisters having an otherness to them when in the company of the Raizada’s … I thought it would be fascinating to touch on their obliviousness, which I imagine being caused by a mix of family familiarity and a sense of upperclass blindness, which is completely my own headcanon but notice how people savvy Khushi, Payal and Shyam are compared to the others? (Idk if that makes sense) ….but also thought it would be interesting to mention lack of privacy again, like living in a fancy fishbowl, a little nod to Shyam’s cameras (dw that’s not actually in the story but just Shyam being present in the home is creepy!)

The self harm description was graphic and uncomfortable and I hope it wasn’t too much but I felt compelled to include it in.

Please enjoy!

Honey 💖💖

[msunitedstatesjames]

Reasons I love Romeo and Juliet:

-One of the first things we learn about Romeo, one of western literature's most famous lovers, is that he's been locking himself in his bedroom, shutting the curtains to make the room dark, and crying all alone every day.

-Romeo just generally being such a hilariously dramatic sad boy for three-quarters of the play. Like, imagine your cousin comes up to you out of the blue and is just like, "Hey, what's up?" And you just immediately are like, "LOVE! LOVE IS CRUEL! WHY IS LOVE LIKE THIS?" And then you continued to be like that for most of the next few days until you tragically died.

-Mercutio just 100% getting what kind of a person Romeo is. He's like, "Well, we lost Romeo, but if we just shout into the air about love and how hot Rosaline is he'll probably come running this way."

-That moment during the balcony scene when Juliet is like, "I wish you were my little pet bird on a string and I could just pull you back to me whenever I wanted." And Romeo is just like, "Yeah girl, I'd love to be your pet bird." And then Juliet is like, "Good thing you're not though, because I would just love you and squeeze you so hard that I would probably accidentally kill you."

-When Romeo tells Friar Laurence about Juliet, and Friar is just like, "Dude, are you kidding me? Literally yesterday you were just here crying about Rosaline, the love of your life. Like, I can still see the tears on your cheeks and hear the echos of your crying." And Romeo, fool that he is, is like, "What are you talking about? You told me to forget my love for her! Why are you mad?" And Friar is like, "Yeah, I told you to forget her, not to IMMEDIATELY replace her with someone else!

-Nurse threatening to fight Mercutio.

-Nurse's relentless ability to avoid answering questions or talking about the topic at hand by telling random stories, dramatically complaining, or just randomly changing topic in the middle of a conversation.

-The fact that Romeo is stupid enough to kill his secret wife's cousin literally within hours of marrying her.

-Even though killing Tybalt was so dumb, I unironically love Romeo's revenge speech, when he's like, "My dude Mercutio's soul is on it's way to heaven, and I won't let him go alone. One or both of us will be joining him on that trip."

-Nurse, the bumbling, comedic relief character and a servant, claiming that Tybalt, hot-headed and murderous cousin to Juliet, was her best friend.

-Juliet finding out about Romeo killing her cousin, then talking about what lying, deceitful scum he is, and then immediately flipping out when Nurse agrees with her.

-When, less than 24 hours after Tybalt's death, Juliet's parents are like, "Wait, are you still crying about your cousin's death? Dude's been dead for like 12 hours. Get over it."

-When Friar Laurence is like, "I might be able to help you, but what I'm asking you to do won't be easy. And Juliet is like, "Oh, it won't be easy, you say? Let me tell you what I'd do to avoid marrying Paris." And she starts off pretty standard by being like, "I'd jump off a tower." And then somewhere along the way she gets to, "I'd rather be chained up with bears than marry Paris. Also, I'd be locked into a variety of different tombs/graves rather than marry Paris." And I imagine in Friar's head he's just like, "Funny you should mention that last one."

-The arrogance of Romeo, when he specifically seeks out the poorest, most broken down apothecary he can find, in order to use his money to coerce the man to sell him an illegal poison. He seriously has the nerve to be like, "Eh, money is a worse poison than poison anyway." Like, imagine going up to a person starving on the streets, using their hunger as leverage to get them to commit a crime for you, and then telling them that money is a poison. I mean, he has a point, but he might have the wrong audience for this particular righteous spiel.

[lizhly-writes]

aight, so a few days ago, i asked y’all what kind of orv writing you wanted to see.  @strikeslip​ got in the first reply, so here we are with the coparenting au. i’ll probably cycle through the rest of the replies/asks in the coming weeks.

first of all: bihyung does not hit anyone with the cabbage.  sorry.   second of all: to really answer this, i probably should have written a little more, buuuut if i did, this would probably end up extending to sunday and i’m already late, so here you go.

Bihyung knows exactly who Dokja’s mother is.  

“I wasn’t trying to pry into your personal life,” Bihyung says defensively.  “I had to look you up, I wasn’t going to have just anyone have a claim on Biyoo.  It’s just –” he looks off to the side, hand going up to rub the back of his neck.  “Your name isn’t very common.  That’s all.”

That’s an understatement.  ‘Dokja’ is the kind of name that doesn’t really register as a name, so of course it sticks in your memory if someone claims it as one.  It makes sense to remember it, especially if you saw it somewhere in a best-selling book of some kind.

If Dokja looked his own name up, maybe that book would be the first result.

“You’re fine with that?” he says.  The smile he’s wearing feels terribly tight on his face.

Bihyung’s mouth twists.  “If I had a problem with it, do you think I would have made you take that paternity test to begin with.”

“...Right.”

Dokja would like to say the conversation ends there, and they never talk about it again, but that would be a lie.  They do talk about it; they don’t have a choice but to talk about it, when Dokja thinks of his mother, thinks of the fact it’s flat-out better not visiting instead of having to tell her the next pathetically sad thing to happen in his life.  

A child, though.  It seems… important.

“...I should probably let her know about Biyoo.”

“...You probably should,” Bihyung allows.

And that’s that.

“You don’t have to come with me,” Dokja says charitably.  It’s already going to be uncomfortable and awkward.  Explaining Bihyung is going to be… weird.  Yes, Dokja is coparenting a child with Bihyung.  No, they’re not together in any way, shape, or form.  How did this occur?  Who knows.

“Of course I do, she’s my– she’s your –”  Bihyung pauses, makes a face, because he’s probably about as stuck on terms as Dokja is.  “She’s Biyoo’s grandmother.  And you’re bringing Biyoo.”

“Yeah.  Well.”

Well.

The trip there is made in relative silence.  Biyoo is… not a quiet baby, exactly, but one that can be counted upon to exist in contentment for a predictable time period, especially when she’s being held, so the subway ride there is.  Fine.

“What’s she like,” Bihyung says, at one point.  “Your mother,” he adds, like there’s more than one ‘she’ that they decided to go visit.

“Why?”

“Haaah, I’m just curious.  Is that not allowed?”

“She’s… she.  She likes reading.”

“Oh, so she’s just like you.”  A pause, abashed.  “... I didn’t mean it like…”

“I know what you mean.  It’s fine.”

The subway ride is fine.  Everything’s Fine.

…

“You look like you’re about to meet your mother-in-law,” Kim Dokja offers.

“Hahaha, shut up,” says Bihyung.

…

“Hello, Mother,” says Kim Dokja.

That person looks the same he remembers.  Maybe a little grayer around the temples, but that’s it.  It’s hard to believe she’s any older at all, which means it’s hard to believe he’s any older at all.  He can very easily pretend that this is the past, and he’s still that child that regularly visited his mother, sitting uselessly in silence and spouting off random webnovel plots in an attempt to have anything to talk about at all.

“...Dokja,” she says, and even her expression is the same as he remembers.  Even, barely showing any emotion at all. “It’s been a while.”

It’s not a question.  It might as well be one.  Dokja doesn’t actually remember the last time he visited.  Maybe neither does she.  If he squints, he could pretend that she actually looks surprised.  

She might actually be surprised.  Dokja isn’t quite looking at his mother in the eye, but he can still see when her gaze wanders to Bihyung, who straightens under the attention.  It’s a fair enough reaction.  Dokja’s never actually brought anyone to visit before.

“Hi,” Bihyung says stiltedly, and hefts Biyoo slightly higher up.  “This is your grandchild.”

Kim Dokja almost laughs.

“...Excuse me?” says Mother, and there’s the crack in her usual face.  Eyes just a little wider, just a little rounder, a twitch in the corner of her mouth.

“That’s Biyoo,” Kim Dokja says.  “My daughter, so your granddaughter.  I thought you’d like to know.”

[highly-opinionated-ramblings]

"Bruce, my man," Oliver said loudly as he entered the Watchtower's cafeteria, "today would be a good day to delete your social media apps for a little while. Take a break, come back in a few months or so."

Bruce sighed. "What is it now?"

"Nnnnnnothing. Don't worry about it."

"Really," Barry added, seeing that Bruce was unconvinced, "it's nothing important. Just some random person stirring up drama."

"Hang on, you don't have a guy who handles that stuff for you, do you?" Hal asked. "Like a secretary, or something?"

"Wayne Enterprises has a social media team. Personally, I have Tim, who makes it his business to intervene on my behalf more often than not."

"Well, tell him to delete his socials for a while, too."

"It's just drama, right? Nothing either of us haven't seen before, I'm sure."

"Uhhh," Barry said, exchanging a nervous glance with Oliver, "well, this one's going kinda viral. Any kind of statement on your part would probably make it worse rather than better."

"Barry, I promise, I've been 'viral' lots of times in my life. You're probably worrying too much."

"Look, I'll tell you if you want to know," Oliver said. "I'll do it. Are you really sure you want to know? Are you really, really-"

"Oliver."

"Alright, fine. Have it your way. Earlier today, somebody posted, and I quote: 'billionaire playboy' is just a nice way of saying that Bruce Wayne is a SLUT."

Bruce snorted. "Is that all?"

"It's going viral," Barry repeated carefully.

"That's fine. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?!" Hal asked incredulously.

"Wayne Enterprises just put out a Transparency of Operations report last week, I was worried it would be something about that."

"Still, the comments.... the comments..."

"Highly entertaining, I'm sure," Bruce rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, they really are." Oliver grinned. "Some great memes in there."

"It's split about half and half between people slut-shaming you, and people saying we shouldn't be slut-shaming anyone."

"My favorite part is that there's a bunch of people defending you who claim to have actually slept with you during the height of your slut era. And they're all making a point to mention how nice you were about the whole thing!"

Oliver threw back his head and positively cackled. Hal laughed, too. Barry attempted valiantly to remain merely concerned, but even he had to bite his lip to stop from laughing. Bruce merely shrugged.

"Well, I like to think I kept it respectful with all my past partners from that era. Never saw any point in not being considerate."

"Yeah, you're a real gentleman."

"There's some men in there, as well, saying the same stuff," Hal said. "Does that count as a big deal?"

"Why would it? I've been publicly out as bisexual for almost three years now."

"You WHAT?!"

"Missed that one, did you? That also went viral for a little bit."

"You were in space when that happened, Hal," Barry said. "Remember that time you were gone for a while, and then as soon as you got back, Lobo was running around causing all that chaos? It was then."

"That's- you should have remembered to tell me about that, Barry! That's a pretty big deal!"

"No, it's really not."

"Shut up, Bruce. What the fuck does it mean to be 'publicly out', anyway? How did that even happen?!"

"Someone approached Wayne Enterprises about sponsoring the Gotham pride parade, and a couple of associated LGBTQ+ focused charities. So we gave them some money, and they invited me to give a speech as part of the event. I thought it would have been inappropriate to do so just as an ally."

By this point, Oliver was bent double, laughing so hard that there were tears in his eyes, and even Barry was snickering at the the look of mixed disbelief and confusion on Hal's face.

"That's... that's... I can't... you're not normal! I need you to recognize that you are not a normal person!"

"Noted."

"I'm sure it was actually inspiring for a lot of Gothamites," Barry said. "They looooooove their Bruce Wayne out there, after all."

"Sure. I'm not ignorant of the influence my standing affords me."

"Well, I still think you should stay out of this one. And Tim, too, definitely don't let him intervene on your behalf here. But it's good to know that it doesn't bother you."

"Yeah, I aspire to have skin as thick as yours. Any tips?"

"Maybe being a slut has something to do with it."

"BRUCE!"

[karizard-ao3]

My reactions to Evangelion episode 6: Rei II

Paths Eren Jaeger, I see you there.

Seeing Shinji boiling in that oxygen liquid and almost dying kills me. And he's got a nosebleed, too. He is just a little boy!

It is interesting that- Sorry, I completely lost that thought because why the fuck do they have a full size balloon replica of Unit 1?

What does NERV have that the Angels want so badly?

Rei and her emotional support broken glasses.

It still surprises me how much authority Misato has. I mean, she's taking all the power from all of Japan to power an experimental weapon. Like, she seems to ditzy and then we see her spearheading a big operation like this one with very little oversight. She seems like a whole different person when she's like this.

Why are they waiting to do the mission until midnight, right before it hits NERV HQ? Why can't they just do it as soon as Unit 1 is repaired so they don't lose all their shields? Unless they need to charge up all the electricity for the weapon until then?

Shinji accused Rei of never being terrified inside the Eva but I think it's actually that she is reacting to the fear in the opposite way from him, by shutting down huge parts of herself. I wouldn't be surprised if she was a very different kind of girl in her old life.

Kensuke, your penchant for spectating is going to get someone killed one day.

Here's a ship: the Angel drill x the earth's crust.

Here they go again. "Hey, Shinji. You've never done any sniper training, but now you have to be a sniper. Sorryyyyy!"

What's with the random penguin shot? What does the penguin do?? What is his purpose, I mean???

Rei's Eva is her link to everyone else, eh? 🧐

Shinji is such a sweetheart. He's got his heart on his sleeve.

Lol what if Rei is a clone of Shinji's (presumably) dead mother.

In Closing

So Rei, like Shinji, has been isolated for possibly her whole life. She has a hard time connecting to people and I feel like that's a huge source of her attachment to Gendo. Shinji, being his son, reminds her of him, it looks like, and it seems like that's going to help her warm up to him, maybe? I have some inarticulate speculations swirling around about Rei but I can't really put them into words, but obviously her difficulty forming connections seems significant, especially given that she also has difficulty forming a connection with her Eva, whereas Shinji is much more vulnerable with people.

I'm starting to wonder if there is something within NERV HQ that the Angels want. There has to be a reason they are ramping up their attacks and going for NERV specifically instead of trying to destroy humanity as a whole. This feels very targeted and like NERV is dragging everyone into their own personal skirmish instead of being the protectors they claim to be.

I'm looking forward to seeing Rei and Shinji's dynamic continue to evolve and grow.

One more episode, then I have some chores to do.