#it's not specifically at you it's at everything. also just to be safe:

[fancyfeathers]

What if just to mess with the batfam Daughter!Reader starts flinching around them whenever they try touching her, or walk past her, ect. Now, she is smart, she knows they might try and pin the blame on the boy she kissed (related to the other post with the talon boyfriend.). But to really drive down the point she makes sure they see she doesn't flinch around anyone else other than them specifically. How would they react? - 🐈‍⬛Anon

Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling Masterlist

Well her boyfriend would just be a member of the Court of Owls, not a Talon, cause like the Court are people of wealth and power that control Gotham and his family fits the bill. Some of the leaders of the organization who you see wear those white masks.

But saying this this is after the fact that she found out her boyfriend and his family are members of the Court of Owls, they would probably think it is the shock and fear of it all, having to ram up protections, no in person school, a brother or Bruce staying by here at all time in case a Talon gets sent after her. They all notice her behavior very quickly, jumpy and jittery, flinching whenever they get near or touch her.

Dick and Tim are sure that it is everything catching up to her, after all it is not easy to deal with most of someone’s family being vigilantes and putting themselves at risk every night, not knowing if they will return, it is probably very hard on a little girl, especially having lived in a different environment for years and then having it change suddenly and deal with that new environment for years with everything building up and then this whole boyfriend mess on top of it, oh such a poor thing-

Then they see her mother wrap her arms around her daughter while she is sitting at the dinning room table working on her homeschool work and she does not move a muscle.

The rest of the family have also noticed her behavior but honestly had no doubts that it was an act since she had never been afraid of any sort of threat, even when there were kidnapping threats. Bruce gets tired of it quickly, Jason does not really care cause consequences will catch up to her eventually, but it is Damian who is the one who confronts her about it. It’s when he is spending the night with her, staying back from patrol to keep her and mother safe, it’s time for bed and she is reading in the family room and when he goes to grab to book from her she flinches and he has had enough. Damian grabs her by the collar and pins her to the wall.

“Stop this act, you have no reason to be afraid. We take care of you, protect you, feed you, keep a roof over your head and this is how you repay us?! Ungrateful bra-“

“Damian, stop this at once!”

It is a harsh word from his step mother that gets him to drop her to the floor before he storms off out the door, leaving his step mother to comfort her daughter who is a frightened, crying, shaking mess after that. She gets put back to bed by her mother and when Bruce returns from patrol and is getting ready for bed with his wife she tries to address what happened and he just tells her that it was the consequences of her actions. Those words he told her certainly left a sour taste in her mouth when she was laying in bed that night with him.

But then the next day when Dick comes to sit by her at the breakfast table, she jumps when he pulls out his chair to sit down. Everyone rolls their eyes at first, thinking it’s just her overreacting but when Bruce sees Damian glare at her after that and she starts tearing up, Bruce realizes she is actually terrified of them now…

Being terrified in a time like this is not a good thing, her situation is far from normal and putting more stress on the situation may make her run like a terrified bunny to god knows where and then god knows who could get to her.

[samandcolbyownme]

Can we get birthday smut with Sam for his birthday tomorrow!!! Please

I think I got this request yesterday, so that would make today Sam’s birthday! 🖤

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, kissing, hair pulling, biting, scratching, unprotected sex, creampie, fluffy filth

Word Count: 1.8k | unedited

.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅

“Don’t sweat it okay?” Sam assures, “It’s okay. Your job is.. complicated sometimes.”

You let out a sigh, “I know, but tomorrow is your birthday Sam.. I just.. I hate to miss it.”

“Listen.” Sam pauses, “The only person I really care about spending my birthday with, is you. And if I have to celebrate it another day, that’s fine by me. I’m okay, baby. I promise.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, y/n.” He chuckles, “I’m sure.”

“You’re sure you’re sure?”

“Y/n.”

“Okay.” You laugh, “I’ll let you know when I land in Florida. We’re about to take off here soon, so..”

“Safe travels. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I love you.”

“I love you.”

You hang up and look at Tara, “He’s going to be so mad at me for lying to him.” She shakes her head, “I don’t think he’ll be mad. You’re lying for good reason.”

“Yeah.” You nod, “I think you’re right.”

You rest your head back, staring out the window as you see people move down on the ground by the plane. You felt bad, but also, you felt proud.

You managed to get out of work early enough to make it home for Sam’s birthday, but you, Tara, and Colby managed to keep it under lock and key the last few days.

You knew Sam sounded sad, but he was trying to be happy for you.

You couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he seen you, specifically on his birthday.

.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅

“So he doesn’t want to do anything?” You look at Colby and scoff, “I know I didn’t.. ruin it.. but I feel like I did.”

Colby shakes his head, “He just misses you. You’ve been gone a week, and it’s not your fault that you had to be away when it was his birthday, he knows that.”

You sigh, “I know, but I just hope that me coming home actually helps.”

“Oh it will.” Colby chuckles, “He spent hours last night rambling on about how he feels bad for being sad, but I told him the same thing as I told you, don’t feel bad. It’s normal.”

You take a deep breath as you see the house come into view and you can’t help but shake a little with excitement, “So where is he?”

“Upstairs. He chose to edit our video. Jake wanted to take him out but he refused.”

“I’ll get him out of the house.” You smirk at Colby, “Don’t worry.”

You get out, stepping back to the back passenger door and Colby walks around, talking quietly, “Go. I’ll bring them in.”

You nod, looking towards house, and you can’t help but smile. You walk to the front door, quietly sneaking inside and looking around.

You hear music playing from upstairs, and you make your way towards the steps. You tiptoe to Sam’s door, peaking around the opening.

His back is facing you, laptop on his lap as he clicks away.

“How are you going to celebrate your birthday if you’re too into that video?”

Sam whips around, laptop falling to the floor as he stands up, “Oh my.. god. How are you-“ he rushes over to you, wrapping you tightly in a hug, “How are you here!?”

Your arms wrap his neck, “I just am.”

“What about work, you won’t get-“

“Sam.” You lay a hand over his mouth, “I took care of everything..” you raise your brows, “okay?”

He nods and tilts his head back to get his mouth uncovered, “Fine, then give me a kiss.”

You smile, leaning in to press your lips to his.

It instantly deepens.

Sam reaches behind you, pushing his door closed as he walks backwards towards the bed. He sits down, your legs on either side of his hips and you grind down.

He lets out a low groan against your lips, “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”

You kiss back his jaw, “I’ve missed you, too, birthday boy.” You nip his ear with your teeth, “since that’s what you are, I’ll let you do anything you want to me.”

You feel his body tense at your words, his hands tighten their grip on your hips, “Oh, really?”

You lean back, your hands sliding down his chest to grip the hem of his shirt, “oh really.” You smirk, pushing his shirt up his chest and pulling it over his head, “Anything you want.”

He bites his lip, tilting his head as his eyes trail down your body on his lap, “I can think of one thing.”

You reach down, gripping your shirt to pull it up over your head, “Ooh, do tell.”

His hands slide up and down your sides, “Mm, in a minute.” He pulls you back in, leaning back to lay down as your lips meet his.

His hands slide down to your ass, gripping tightly.

He rolls over, his hand sliding around your hip to slip his fingers into the band of your leggings, “I think..” he bites his lip, eyes meeting yours as he slides his hand in to press his fingers to your clit, “I want to fill that perfect little pussy of yours.”

You let out a quiet moan, “Yes.”

“Yeah?” Sam raises his brows, his fingers adding pressing as they circle, “You alright with that?”

“So alright with that.” You pull him in to close the space, biting down on his lip which earns a gasp from him, “Can I do something first?”

“Of course.” Sam pulls his hand out, moving to sit up, but you stop him with a hand on his chest, “Lay back.”

He smirks, knowing exactly what you’re about to do.

“Just lay back, and enjoy this.” You look up at him, “Birthday boy.”

“I’ll do anything for you.” He smiles and you playfully roll your eyes as you shrug his pants and boxers down his thighs.

You were gone a week, but it felt like years.

Your lip pulls between your teeth as your eyes scan up and down his hard cock that springs free from its hold, “I’ve missed you.” You look up at Sam and he nods, “I can agree to th-“

He gasps as your lips wrap around the tip of his cock, tongue swirling over it, “F-fuck.” His hand moves to lay on your head, “That’s it.”

You take more of him in, tilting your head forward as your tongue flattens around the underside.

Your hands press to his thighs as you work your head in a steady rhythm.

“Oh shit.” He groans, “So good at this, baby. Fuck.”

You hum slightly, sending pleasure to radiate through his lower half. He moans louder, bucking his hips as he holds your head still, “Just like that, sweetheart.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, moaning around him as his fingers tangle your hand around them, pulling hard.

He lifts your head up, pulling you towards him with the grip on your hair. His lips connect to yours as your hands move to push down your pants.

You lean back, kicking them off before straddling his lap. His lip pulls between his teeth as he watches you line yourself up with him, “God you are so beautiful.”

You smirk, jaw falling slack as you sink down onto him slowly. A long moan leaves your lips as your nails dig into his shoulders, “Fuck, Sam. I’ve needed you so bad.”

He nods, “I’ve needed you.”

He reaches up, pulling you down to kiss you once more, “You feel so fucking good.”

You move your hips up and down, rolling them forward and back, moaning with each movement.

Your hand slides up to his hair, tugging to tilt his head back as you kiss down his neck. He groans lowly as you bite and suck a mark into his neck, bucking his hips upward which earns a moan from you.

Your pace quickens, slamming down onto him as your nails drag down his chest.

He groans, gripping your wrists and pinning them behind you to your lower back. He holds you in place as he thrusts upward into you.

Your moans ring through his ears, causing him to moan, “You sound so beautiful.”

“I love making you feel good.”

“I love making you sound like this.”

“Your pussy is going to look so pretty with my cum dripping out of it.”

His words make you gasp, “Fuck, yes Sam. Please.”

He groans into your neck, letting go of your wrists before rolling you over onto your back. His thrusts pick up, hard and fast, “Yes what, baby?”

Your back lifts off the bed, pleasure radiates through your body as you approach your peak, “F-fuck, Sam.” You moan out loudly, “I want you to fill my pussy.”

He groans at your words, “They’re so much hotter when you say it.”

His lips attack yours, quickly moving down to litter your skin with purple marks. Your nails drag up his back, leaving red lines in their path, “Fuck, fuck don’t stop, don’t stop!”

You cry out repeatedly, your legs tightening around his hips as he guides you through your high.

“That’s it, baby.” Sam groans, “You feel so good, look so pretty when you cum.”

You whimper at his words, your body jolting with each thrust of pleasure that enters your body over and over again.

All you can do is moan.

“Right there with you.” Sam moan, “Fuck, fuck.”

He pushes his weight up, holding himself up with his arm by your head. His hand lays on your cheek as his eyes lock onto yours.

His thrusts grow sloppy, slowing down as you feel his cock start to twitch inside of you.

This was something you and Sam were always so careful about not doing, but you had a feeling that this was the first day of something that wasn’t ever going to end - and you didn’t want it to.

You moan at the feeling, biting down onto your lip as his slow thrusts come to a stop.

He sits up, staring down as he slowly pulls out of you.

He smirks, biting down into his lip, “Fuckin’ beautiful.”

You feel your cheeks turn warm and you laugh slightly as he gets up, “Was it everything you’ve ever hoped it would be?”

“Oh baby.” Sam walks back over with a towel, “It was everything and more.” He leans down, pecking your head before he lets you wipe off.

You watch as he looks around for his pants and you tilt your head, “Ready to celebrate your birthday now?”

Sam shrugs, “I mean.. what do you have in mind because it’s probably something a lot different than what’s in mine.”

You smirk, getting up onto your knees, “I mean.. I want to take you out.. but..” you reach out for him, “Another round couldn’t hurt.”

Sam smirks and drops his pants, “Maybe you can read my mind.”

.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅

Thank you so much for being patient. I kind of rushed through this one so my apologies if it seemed that way. I love you so much, thank you for reading my work! I’ll catch you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[atrophiedemotion]

escapism vs reality in alien stage

in this post (elaborated greatly by geo's tags as well) i mentioned a big sua/till parallel i noticed (but didn't go into much detail because i didn't want to derail the post lol), and i wanted to go into more detail on that and the overall reality vs fantasy theme alnst has going.

sua & till both use their love for mizi as a form of escapism. sua's love for mizi and the weight of her knowledge of their universe causes her to create a safe (fake) bubble for her and mizi to exist in & makes it as perfect as it can be before they're out of time. till uses his love & admiration for mizi as a beacon of hope, as motivation to go on despite how horribly he's treated in day to day life. mizi is the brightness in both of their dull lives.

this view of mizi as a hopeful, optimistic sort-of deity sheds light onto an entire theme of alien stage, escapism vs reality. it also shows that mizi & ivan, in this specific instance, are antitheses of each other.

mizi, as a character, symbolizes hope and escapism. she is the only character out of the main four that didn't understand the exact conditions of their world due to how she was raised. she does not fully grasp how horrifying the alnst universe is until she watches sua die, which is the inciting incident for the entire series. escapism isn't possible anymore, but hope is still there when she gets rescued by hyuna and joins the rebellion.

ivan, on the other hand, literally symbolizes truth and the reality of their world. since he was born he understood the cruelty the segyein are capable of and knows exactly where he stands in the world. he is seen to be fatalistic and even nihilistic. his death, which he sees as an inevitability, is the second inciting incident (the one where everything goes to shit chaos afterward). it is a brutal reminder of the truth of alien stage to both the characters and the audience.

sua & till actively seek out mizi as solace in their pain, and they both actively avoid ivan (in their own ways) and the connections he has to reality.

sua avoids ivan because, well, he's mean to her, but mostly because he's not even trying to be mean, he's just objectively right and she doesn't want to hear it. he is a reminder not only of the cruel world they live in but her own 'twistedness'. he reminds her that she is not solely the fantasy she's created with mizi, but someone with unavoidable knowledge of the inevitable (as well as someone who is willfully keeping this information from an unknowing mizi).

till avoids confronting his feelings for ivan and confronting ivan in general because ivan confuses him. his feelings for ivan aren't cut and dry in the way his feelings for mizi are, because ivan is and always will be tied to pain and suffering for till (their first meeting in the auction shop, their miscommunication/strange relationship, the fact that ivan is the only one who sees him at his most vulnerable, etc). ivan's death forces him to confront these feelings (for ivan & about their world in general) but even then he's repressing them until he physically can't anymore.

mizi is escapism & hope, literally realized because she escapes. ivan is reality & a representation of the fate of alnst contestants, literally realized through his death.

it doesn't end there, though. sua & till are escapists running from reality (with diverging paths that are both narratively important in their own ways), while mizi represents escapism & ivan represents reality. along similar lines, but going a step further, hyuna & luka showcase these exact themes.

hyuna is the legitimate showcase of hope, of freedom. she is a free human (as free as you can get in the alnst universe) and the leader of a human rebellion focused on uprising as a race against the segyein.

luka is the perfect example of compliance within reality. he is now a two time alien stage champion and the definition of a pet, no matter how he actually feels.

hyuna & luka are similar to, but a step beyond, mizi & ivan. mizi symbolizes escapism, but she is faced with reality and must grapple it, while hyuna is freedom personified (albeit with demons of her own). ivan symbolizes reality, but he still yearns for something he thinks he'll never have, while luka completely shuts off those emotions because he knows they will only jeopardize his chances of survival.

the characters of alien stage perfectly embody one of the core themes of alien stage, the discrepancy between fantasy and truth, and the way those can coincide in a world.

[edenfenixblogs]

To OP:

OP, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for this.

As a Jewish person, the most actionable response I have to this post is to PLEASE NEVER BE AFRAID TO SAY YOU ARE NOT JEWISH. PLEASE SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT JEWISH.

This is NOT because you are co-opting our pain if you don’t. Don’t worry! It’s because there are so few Jews in the world and it is alarming to the extreme that most of the acknowledgments and condemnations of what we are experiencing right now are 1) primarily from Jews or 2) dismissed by non-Jews because we are perceived as biased rather than accurate sources about the racism perpetrated against us. Whether or not it SHOULD be necessary is, unfortunately, a non-issue. Because at this time it is necessary. It is necessary both to show Jews that we are not alone at a time where we feel extremely isolated and alienated. It is also necessary to give legitimacy to our perspective to those who refuse to listen to us about our own subjugation, persecution, and oppression.

One tag that I use very often is “life under stochastic threat.” I use it because Jews are very much under attack worldwide right now in ways that are outright violent or that encourage isolation and fear without outright violence. Because there are so few Jews in the world and we are so spread out in diaspora, people don’t often see our suffering in the same way they would if we were all in one place. It is easy to write off one incident of violence in France and a violent mob in Amsterdam and some extremely rough stories from college campuses in Canada and America. Why is it easy? It’s easy because there are people who take things to extremes everywhere. And people can easily say “oh, it was just one synagogue.” “Oh, it was just one coffee shop.” “Oh, it was just one professor.” But the problem is that it’s “just one” SOMETHING in every single Jewish space everywhere in the world. Which means it’s something every Jew can s experiencing right now.

When you identify yourself as non-Jewish, you both signal yourself as safe as well as someone who is willing to combat the stochastic threat in the spaces in which you participate. Even if you don’t know any Jewish people, the people who you know might know Jewish people or even just have opinions on Jewish people. And it’s extremely comforting to know that people like you exist in places we can’t reach, because it means we don’t have to rely only on ourselves to combat antisemitism, which is often how it feels.

As for Jewish contributions to Buddhism: I cannot speak to Buddhism specifically, but I can say that seeking knowledge and understanding are core Jewish values and we deeply care about increasing knowledge and helping others do the same.

I deeply agree with the Buddhist perspective on hatred being a poison. I think that’s a wonderful way to put it.

Your post means a lot to me. Especially because I worry about how much Jew hatred can fester in communities where no Jews are present. Simply because the biases are so deeply engrained into most cultures as a result of Jews being around and despised for so long and in so many places. To know that you and voices like you exist in the world is more comforting than I can ever express.

Thank you for everything you’ve done here. It may not seem like a lot. But it’s so, so much. 🩵

To Other Non-Jews Speaking Out For Us:

I love you. I love you all. Thank you for what you’re doing. I know it’s not easy or comfortable. I don’t have the words to express my gratitude.

Why do you care so much?

I've been asked this question a few times in the past year - why I spend so much time thinking, reading, and reflecting on antisemitism, especially because I am not Jewish myself. There are a few reasons, really. One of them is that I think antisemitism is a hatred that spawns other hatreds, but even if it did not, it would still be worth studying, because the fact that it is a hatred at all is enough. The fact that antisemitism impacts Jewish people is enough of a reason to oppose it.

It's also because it's important to oppose because of the way it damages the thinking habits of people who believe it. I saw somebody say, "Jew-Hate makes you dumb," once. And though I think it was probably an off the cuff statement for them, it stuck with me, and I think they're right. In my religion, we say hatred is one of the three poisons - it can seriously harm your mental well-being in a way that deepens your suffering in all aspects of life. Often, hatred can also be spread like a contagion. It's something that destroys social harmony and causes severe social dysfunction. And right now, I think antisemitism is the most contagious of hatreds - I've seen people in my life fall off the cliff, I've been able to talk some back from it, and I've seen how so many people wander towards it without any idea that that's what they're doing.

Part of the problem is that antisemites consider themselves righteous in a way I think most racists don't. Often, you'll see "I'm not racist but" I almost never see that with antisemitism. They don't add that qualifier. They just say it. Most racists I know will make a tacit acknowledgment of the racist implications of what they're about to say - antisemitic people don't. They often even engage in anti-Jewish racism while invoking anti-racism.

I don't really know any Jewish people in real life, perhaps only two. But I don't need to know them to know that hating them is wrong. I think I also have a debt of gratitude to many people in the Jewish community because of the advances in Buddhist Studies made by Jewish people, which sounds strange - but it's true that many leading voices and researchers, both in academia and within Buddhism itself happen to be Jewish. I'm not sure why this is, but it's absolutely true. The most prolific translator of Pali into English that I can think of is Jewish. The most impactful Vipassana instructor in America I can think of is Jewish. The most impactful voice in Deity Yoga, for Tibetan Buddhism, is Jewish. People who are Jewish, for some reason, contributed probably more than ex-Christian Americans or atheists combined to the proliferation of Buddhism in the United States.

Buddhists and Jewish people are known to have a close relationship. There are a lot of different reasons for this that I would suggest, but none that add up to explain the amazing contributions to Buddhism made by American Jews.

I think another reason I have for being so interested in antisemitism as a non-Jew is the kind of... political disillusionment I've been experiencing? It's been a disturbing few years, and I haven't seen many people elaborate very well on this feeling of abandonment and horror, witnessing people who you thought shared your values become hateful and deeply violent in their beliefs. The only people I've seen consistently speak about it happen to be Jewish.

I think all of this has helped contribute to a feeling of closeness to Jewish people as a group, despite that I don't really know Jewish people in my real life, and only have one or two Jewish friends online. This year has been a horror show of watching people's minds become twisted - it's so scary in a way I can't quite capture with words right now.

I also sometimes have a back and forth with myself about when and if to mention I'm not Jewish when I talk about antisemitism, because I do think it's totally necessary to explain the perspective from which I speak, but to be honest it feels kind of icky to be like "I'm not Jewish, but antisemitism is bad", because antisemitism is bad whether or not the person saying so isn't Jewish, and I think it might be a negative for people to think "not being Jewish" is something which makes it any less valuable to be against antisemitism, and talk about how against it you are. It's very real that people who talk about antisemitism are perceived to be Jewish, and obviously, it's important not to lead people into thinking you're Jewish when you're not, but adding an "I'm not Jewish" qualifier to statements about antisemitism I worry might contribute to the perception that those against antisemitism are Jewish.

Antisemitism is such an insidious ideology. And it's everywhere. I see it daily in so many different spaces. It has the largest impact on Jewish people, but it also impacts non-Jewish people at times. I distinctly remember being mocked throughout school for "looking Jewish." I think about that Greek restaurant which was attacked because they were thought to be Jewish. Or that man in the Amsterdam violence who tried to help and was then accused of being Jewish himself. It's so deluded, violent, and manages to consume people's thoughts like a parasitic worm in their brain.

Anyways, I planned for this post to be more organized. Oops.

[sensorydephrivation]

okay it’s been a few days and I think I have cooled down enough to make a post about my experience at tit! The actual review is still forthcoming mostly because I have too much to do and can’t really justify spending time on it rn but it’ll be done at some point. Gonna put the rest of this under a cut for length, there aren’t any spoilers or anything.

First thing, obviously I had a ton of fun! The show was incredible and it was equally incredible to get to meet other phannies irl and everyone who talks about the community at tit is 100% right, it really is a feeling I’ve had nowhere else. It doesn’t really surprise me that “people from an almost identical demographic group with a very specific common interest” is an audience that would make someone feel safe lol, but I do think there is something about phannies that makes this event so special and magical in a kind of hard to articulate way.

When I first got to the venue, I completely by coincidence ran into @fromemotoangel @lizardsmp3 and @laddersmp3 in the line which was very exciting and I felt like I was meeting celebrities lol. You guys were super great and I loved getting to hang out with you! We traded bracelets and chatted until we got inside the venue.

Once I got in I was like, immediately overwhelmed. I had planned on getting in the merch line right away because I was worried the photocards would sell out, but the person scanning tickets told me which direction my seat was and I just immediately headed that way. Honestly I kinda felt like everyone else there knew what they were doing and I didn’t, which obviously wasn’t true, but the fact that everyone I ended up talking to that night had been to other shows while this was my only one didn’t really help. Just as we got inside, the pre show started (after apparently a long delay), and I was surprised to hear dnp’s voices through the walls. Honestly it was like a siren song drawing me to the balcony where there were no doors and I could sort of hear the pre show. It wasn’t until I saw the merch line going all the way up the stairs that I remembered I had meant to be getting merch, lol.

Photocards were far from sold out thankfully and I ended up in a big trading circle with everyone which was super fun! While I was in line I also met @yonpote who gave me a cute drawing and a VIP bracelet. I wish we had gotten to talk more, you’re super cool!

Final photocards after several rounds of trading:

Then my friend and I found our seats for the show. I was worried we’d have a terrible view because we were in the balcony but I could pretty much see everything. There were some parts of the show that would’ve been a way better experience in orchestra but it was still plenty enjoyable from anywhere. The one disappointment was that we were too far away to scan the QR code that was onstage before the show so I couldn’t participate in that bit.

At intermission I just kinda went to the bathroom and had a drink and didn’t talk to anyone lol. I was really having fun but also super overstimulated by everything so I needed a few minutes of quiet.

After the show I hung out with @fromemotoangel and @yonpote a little bit more as well as some of their friends and got rid of my remaining bracelets! I kinda wish I had gone to stage door but it was okay, I did get to see the phour phus before the show lol. And that’s about it!

Final bracelets (some of these are mine lol):

I felt kinda wild on the way home like I couldn’t turn my filter back on after being with people who made me feel like I didn’t have to filter myself, which I think is a testament to just how comfortable I felt at the show. It was a really wonderful time and I wish I had the chance to do it again. Thanks so much yet again to everyone who spent time with me there, you guys are all such fun and wonderful people!

[bluntblade]

There's something interesting that I haven't seen remarked on; both Cait and Vi's "coping" mechanisms in Act 2 turn out to be anything but, once you dig down. To me, they feel more like the two women punishing themselves.

Vi's case is the more obvious: her pit-fighter era is a red-misted oblivion. At first, the montage shows us a bravado-filled highlight reel, but as it goes on the focus starts to slide, and not just to the drinking. We see Vi being smacked down and biting dust as often as she wins. When she thinks of Caitlyn it's dreamy and peaceful for a second, only for that to shatter. Reality snaps back violently, and that violence means another wall between her and the rest of the world. Everything speaks to a loss of control - the same problem Vi has had before in her need to look after her loved ones, but now without even that focus. Her life is dictated by the schedule of matches, by her anger and by drunken, gut-level impulses. I was going to flippantly call it her Raging Butch era, and then realised the parallels to Lamotta's self-destructive slide in Raging Bull are actually painfully acute.

With Caitlyn, it's subtler. Her hairshirt is the cloak Ambessa drapes over her: Caitlyn is now enacting the occupation she wanted to avoid, after her more limited (yes, harmful, but more limited) method failed (and indeed caused harm in Piltover too when Jinx hijacked the Grey). She plainly dislikes it (just as she bridles against provocations by the Noxians) but there's also a sense that she's punishing herself, again, for her mother's death and her own previous failure (as she sees it). It would be easier to back down, or more comfortable... and in her current headspace, comfortable is wrong. She failed her mother already, fatally. She doesn't deserve comfort.

It's also there in her sleeping with Maddie. There's no real warmth there, and I think you can perceive a sense of guilt in Caitlyn around that. Again, I think it's plausible that she welcomes that sense of guilt. Especially as she leans away specifically from Maddie's displays of affection (leaving aside the fact of the little traitor being a little traitor).

And these are really the same flaws that led them making the mistakes they did during the raid. Caitlyn assumes as much responsibility as she can (and more than she can shoulder safely), while Vi lets herself be carried along as support, challenging Caitlyn too late to avoid the situation going horribly wrong.

So when they come back together, the thing which makes it work this time is that they let themselves want the things which they really need. Cait gives up her need to assume all the responsibility and all the choices, even as she looks as Jinx, sees someone swept up in the same cycle as her, and tries to break them both free. Vi finally acts for herself - she still fights for others, but it doesn't consume her own interests like it did before. Where they both got lost in loneliness, now they come together (no sniggering at the back!), and that's a real solace for the two of them.

[not-poignant]

Assumption: You have never ridden a horse.

Oooo, this is a fun one, salkfjas

I have! I've ridden more than one horse, more than once.

(Actual storytime) (This is from the Assumptions meme!)

In late highschool and in the few years after I had a close friend who owned a horse (Billy) and agisted him, and was responsible for him. She basically was allowed to get him when she got her driver's license.

I was the kind of friend (and still kind of am, energy willing) that you could drag around to all your chores and I'd just be there. So I'd be there when she went shopping. I would be there when she went to get horse food. I would be there when she did homework. I would be there when she went to visit her horse and brush him down and feed him etc.

I helped with basic chores and watched from the sidelines and mostly hung out with her dog, Huskee, who was not a husky, but a borderline collie x corgi who barked nonstop at that horse, who she alas, could not herd.

Through this friend I actually learned about Natural Horsemanship, to the point where I actually went to a couple of Pat Parelli seminars (run by Pat) in like 2000/2001. It was the thing that really sparked my interest in animal training, especially humane, fear free animal training (and clicker training specifically, since Pat was teaching marker training at the time, and said friend started using it on their dog, Huskee).

I never rode, for a long time, because I was happy on the sidelines, and also I went there so my friend could ride her horse, not so I could like, steal her horse out from under her lol. I don't think her horse liked me very much anyway (later I'd find out that was pretty much true, it was a zero respect relationship, maybe he knew I was a doormat lmao).

Anyway, said friend had another friend who was extremely horse intense, and she got her own horse (Coda) , that she then never really took the time to ride. Coda was kind of nuts. Billy was the kind of horse who walked so slow you felt like you were going backwards, Coda had one speed: gallop. Coda and Billy got on great.

But Coda was pretty neglected, and so I often spent time with him while my friend did her chores with Billy. I was used to bringing out food, or changing water etc. so I did that for Coda sometimes. And after a while, friend was like 'it would be cool if we could trail ride together, how about you learn on Billy first since he's so slow and sedate.' And friend was like 'I'll ride Coda because I have more experience.' This made sense! She wanted me to stay safe!! But...

Billy was slow, sedate, and did not give a shit about me. This is a horse that stepped on my feet (on purpose), who deliberately angled towards low-hanging branches to scrape me off the saddle (hilarious, but also not really), and made it clear how much he wasn't interested in anyone else riding him in the most passive aggressive way a horse possibly can.

Coda, on the other hand, had a reputation for being wild and unstable. He'd tossed multiple riders more than once, hadn't been trained with Natural Horsemanship (like...kind of? But not really) and was not halter-broke by the time friend-of-friend got him, so just getting him to accept a halter and a saddle at all was huge, and anything beyond that was like 'welp, good luck.'

However, it was obvious trying to do anything with me and Billy was not going to work out. So...Coda it was.

And idk how to explain it, but Coda and I just got along. It was on the other hand terrifying, because his default movement was 'canter' and all he wanted to do, all he wanted to do, was gallop up and down granite hills as quickly as possible and spook at fucking everything. It wasn't his fault, he wasn't taken out much and he had that kind of personality. He once saw a kangaroo in the distance and spun a full 360 degrees, and I ended up half off him, hanging on for dear life, while friend just stared at me and said: 'how did you not fall off, that was insane. You might actually be good at this.'

Well. No, I wasn't, I just had a good grip, lmao.

So we went on extremely stressful trail rides together. Billy thankfully curbed some of Coda's GOTTA GO FAST instincts but only to a point, so I had to be pretty hypervigilant nonstop because that dude bunched his hindquarters what felt like every ten seconds, and I can't really blame him, it's what he loved to do most. He was just a terrible horse to learn to ride on, lmao, even if we did get along.

I haven't ridden since and honestly haven't felt much of an inclination to. I'd be too heavy now anyway. And I'm pretty certain I'd be bad at it. When your first experience is 'placid horse who generally accepts everyone but stares at you in a desultory manner and makes sure you know - while feeding him / brushing him / watering him etc. - that you do not matter in the grand scheme of things' followed by 'I like you! NOW I WILL FLING MYSELF DOWN THIS GRANITE HILL WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WE ARE ALL SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT AND NOT FEAR' you think 'actually I don't need to ride the murder ponies, it's fine.'

Anyway, yeah, I have ridden a horse.

[tooies]

your blog is becoming tonyzaret

tony zaret is famously both the inventor and sole user of jokes

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

Finding out Pete wrote the lyrics for Baby Blackout by Daisy Grenade and going insane. She was a teen girl writing about a breakup your honor. Anyways, here's Pete on the cover of his own shojo manga because he deserves it and I think he'd like it.

(more webweave-y gender truthing type shit below the cut)

[nanihirunkits]

hi.

[phoenixcatch7]

Reading loz/lu fics and it's just so interesting how wide the spectrum is of their personalities.

Sometimes it's got an in universe reason (different past (usually gender or species change), recent or ongoing traumatic events, a spectacularly bad first meeting), but sometimes (often) the characters are just... Weirdly angsty or peppy, there's no in between!

And I'm beginning to think less people have played more than one game than I thought XD.

Not that it's anyone's fault! One game is more than enough to be part of it all, and loz is exclusive to Nintendo consoles - and all the older stuff is frustratingly hard to get hold of. Heck, I'm still looking for wind waker, and that was really popular! And then you have to play it! They're not small games!!

But could people writing wild please ease off just a tiiiiiny bit so he can be a semi functional member of society pretty please XD? He's just as much a polite boy as any other member of the chain! He won't even run in shops! He can't attack npcs! He talks to every single person he's ever seen and remembers every single name. Yes, he's three quarters woodland creature with a hefty amount of trauma but he's also a fashionista who managed to avoid accidentally taking sides in a mayoral election and that's not easy!

[ruvviks]

All That's Left follows two journalists and their friends in post-apocalyptic United States as they travel from the fallen east coast megalopolis Opportunity back to Los Angeles, crossing through a harsh wasteland overrun with zombies— only to find out that there is a lot more life left than what the protected cities want them to believe. On their journey they meet dozens of people living their lives as peaceful as possible away from military forces, corporations, and corrupt governments; and they learn that the same mutated ghouls that took down Opportunity are spreading rapidly through the country, destroying everything in their path. Will this finally be the end of the world as we know it?

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[d8tl55c]

me: waiting for shoe(s) to drop

Personified Alan Becker YouTube Icon: oh... buddy...

[puppyeared]

footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia

[gifti3]

Im in such an obey me mood today haha

other than "pls dont tell asmo about that",,,, i have questions about these freaking vegetables (im putting under the cut since im talking about food and bad eating habits/diet related stuff)

im assuming they would have to be mixed with other regular ingredients to prevent the hunger but it sounds like ppl would use them as the main component in a dish or just eat them by themselves

So does all of it get digested? No leftovers (waste) comes out the other end im guessing? is it like a magic type thing?? it has to be right? Cause if not...ur body will take the calories needed to replace the ones burnt, take the nutrients, and the rest will just get tossed out

And since it doesnt make you full, like wouldnt it be way too easy to overeat this type of thing? so you could accidentally end up making urself go to the restroom more often :/

Ig if it gives u the nutrients u need that itll be useful then. So maybe its a 'heres ur macros for the day' type dealo? but u still have to go eat an actual meal or make sure u mix it with other stuff tho

[thatgirlwhokeepsreading]

The thing the people don’t tell you about re-parenting yourself/similar gambits is that for bitches of a particular temperament (it’s me I’m bitches) it sometimes makes you so so mad when it works. Sold all my baby dolls in a garage sale when I was eight not because I didn’t want to them anymore but because I thought I shouldn’t want them anymore, and now the only thing that had me sleeping like a rock after fortnight of hells is this elaborate LARP so I can convince my central nervous system that there is someone in charge who a) wants to take care of shit and b) can take care of shit.

RSD emotional hangover making you too agitated to sleep even though you’re intellectually aware the conflict is resolved? Not anymore with the power of making dairy-free chocolate milk and listening to ten minutes of Dune on audiobook while reading alongside on your e-reader before you pass the fuck out.

Like you would think cringing into the sun* would keep one even more awake than the vague background radiation of little-T traumas (which has actually reduced after five years of medication and psychology appointments), but I guess it is really about quantity over quality. Guess one big cringe is less impactful than the relief from convincing the quivering little toddler that’s been left in charge of the sleep lever in your brain to come out from under the desk and do their job by putting up a sort of flimsy curtain so they can no longer see the wall of painting symbolising your mild disconcerting experiences

And I reference temperament when I know that my annoyance is in fact also a huge part to do with socialisation, particularly being primed towards abnegation + a fundamental suspicion towards adults engaging with things culturally associated with Children and Childhood, both of which are things I challenge on principle consciously/intellectually. But knowing that it’s completely harmless, and like hey I could be doing meth or something, does not change the fact that when I mimic the running commentary I do with babysitting kids Just In My Head To Myself and immediately become head-nodding sleepy, I’m instantly like “oh we respond to this and not a haunting amount of melatonin? cool. yeah. sure.”

(*Of course none of this is cringe when other people do it, as they are allowed to experience Quirks and Vulnerabilities in peace because they are Not Me. That said, when I’m not venting on tumblr dot org I do generally avoid calling any of this stuff cringe bc I am aware that caveating with “This only applies to me because I’m Not Like Other Girls (I’m Worse)” often doesn’t actually make the other person feel assured you’re not judging them.)