#it's not my fault you came with her but she might leave with me it's not my fault you gotta pay for what i get for free-
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azuredawn81 · 2 days ago
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please read later | connor bedard x gf!reader
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❅ summary: connor’s relationship has been falling apart. it’s totally his fault. he put all his focus on hockey, but the blackhawks just keep losing and he keeps failing and it’s draining him. it’s drained him to the point where he physically cannot be present.
❅ pairing: connor bedard x reader
❅ content: angst
❅ word count: 1k
❅ prompt: hours outside in the snow - modern baseball
❅ warnings: none
❅ note: i also have a really fire poem written for this song prompt - mutuals dm me
❅ tags: @dream-girl06 @Summert158 @lekkerfrikandelletje @camiesully
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙₊⋆ ͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
I spent all of Christmas Eve fake angry at you for
Who knows what now or then
he wasn’t even mad. every point y/n had made was valid, every statement accurate.
“it’s like you don’t even care anymore!”
“i do care!”
“no, you’re always gone. you never check in.”
“that’s not true.”
“connor, as soon as you leave chicago, it’s like my number is no longer on your phone!”
he couldn’t remember anything else she had said. she was right. he was wrong. he was a terrible, sorry excuse for a boyfriend. she was a saint. she deserved better.
I spent all of Christmas Eve trying to get warmer
After standing outside for hours
Knowing at this point I'd be
Lucky to get any sleep
And I'll toss and turn until the early morning
after the argument, connor had stormed out of the apartment, more willing to face the chicago cold than his girlfriend’s gaze. the snow fell like tears, each snowflake landing perfectly on his eyelashes, mixing in with his sobs. as he kept walking down the street, he saw families in windows. bright, smiling, happy couples with laughing kids. candles in windows, trees with lights, street lamps glowing like the moon. his last straw was passing by a brownstone, a couple grinning ear to ear in matching pajamas on the first floor. he sat on the sidewalk, sinking into the snow, his head in his hands.
he was there for a few hours, when an elderly woman came up.
“son, are you okay?”
“yeah, i’m… i’m fine.”
“you should be home, it’s christmas.”
she walked with him back to his apartment. “i’m sure she loves you. don’t give up on her.”
y/n was asleep in their bed, with every good blanket. shivering, connor put on flannel pajama pants and a blackhawks hoodie, doing anything he could to warm up. he sat in front of the heater, his hands out close enough to burn, like he had been selling matches.
he curls up next to the heater, trying to conserve heat. all night, his teeth chattered and he tried to get comfortable on the floor, to no avail. he couldn’t sleep even if he was comfortable. she was on his mind.
'Cause what's better than seeing
What I'm missing daily?
every day was the same. she had lectures, lab, study group meetings. he had practices, games, media appearances. it was just too much. he could tell how much happier she was at uchicago, anyone could tell. sometimes, it felt like he only knew about her life from her instagram stories. her perfect, polished instagram stories. ones that screamed “single and loving it”. except, she wasn’t single and she was miserable.
“maybe if you treated me like your girlfriend instead of your roommate, i’d be happier around you.”
“i try, y/n! i try every day!”
“no, you don’t!”
“yes, i do!”
“you come home at 11pm, all “i’m so tired”, and when i try to do anything, you’re like “not tonight”.”
“that’s not my fault! sorensen has me on ice the entire game!”
“so you’re too tired to snuggle your girlfriend? too tired to say “i love you”? too tired to let me make sure you’re not bruised?”
“i can check myself for bruises!”
“that’s not the point, connor!”
“look, i’m sorry i don’t cuddle you. are you happy now?”
“god, connor, how do you not understand how much happier i am away from you?”
I guess what I'm trying to say is that
You might run, oh but
I won't hide, shed an
Ounce of light on my half-
Hopeless life
“i don’t know what to do, kevin. i love her so much.”
“tell her that. don’t let her go.”
“she’s already gone.”
he hung up the phone and pushed open the apartment door.
“y/n?”
“kitchen.”
he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “you feeling alright?”
“yeah, i’m fine.”
he pressed a short kiss to her neck, his lips lingering. “sure?”
“yes, i’m sure.”
“i love you.”
“love you too.”
he nuzzled his face against her shoulder.
“connor?”
“yes?”
“are you okay?”
“it’s… tough. on the ice.”
“i bet.”
“i feel like i’m failing everyone.”
“not me.”
“y/n, can you promise me something?”
“of course.”
“remember how i was during the off-season?”
“yeah?”
"Don't let me go back"
But since you've taken the time to read so carefully
Everything I've ever sent
I guess I'll spend the next few lines hoping and wishing
Yet thanking appropriately
she always read too much into things. everything was falling apart and it was all his fault. she deserves better. he knows better than to act like this, pretending he can be the guy she needs.
connor quietly made his way into their shared closet and began to pack his clothes, his toiletries, anything he would need. he filled his duffel bag and suitcase with his whole life, except his most important items: the framed picture of him and y/n, sitting on the nightstand by her phone, and the bracelet she had made him. he traced the characters on the beads, the glossy black “bedard 98” shining in the light of his phone flashlight.
he grabbed a piece of paper from her journal and a pen, her pink glitter gel pen, and began to write his last words to her. every word was about how he wasn’t enough, how sorry he was that he wasn’t there, how in another life, where he didn’t play hockey, they could’ve stayed together. he was not in a good place to be a good boyfriend and nothing brought him joy. she deserves joy. she deserves the world. but he couldn’t give her that.
to y/n
Please read later
'Cause I don't think I have the heart
To let you read this now
But if I had the heart, oh
You know that I know better
This isn't how you say aloud
Oh, say aloud:
"Don't let me go back"
don’t come looking.
love,
connor
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bloodsportified · 1 year ago
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save me reneé rapp lesbian regina george....... save me........ reneé rapp lesbian regina george save me...
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anonymocha · 9 months ago
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just girly things
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localcapricosimp · 9 months ago
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Still not over Megan Thee Stallion and Reneé Rapp dropping Not My Fault. Like...Like that song slays so hard omg
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i-cant-sing · 7 months ago
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Time Traveller AU pt 6
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Time Traveller AU masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
PART 7 is here!
Its been a week since Baldwin finally came clean about the kiss with Charlotte, a week since you cleared of him "cheating on you", not that you cared if he did, and a week since you realised Guy tried and failed miserably to sabotage Baldwin through Charlotte.
Its also been a week over the due date you were supposed to return to Egypt to get your tools from Abbas, but its been hard to leave when Baldwin insists on spending time with you 24/7 because wants to make up to you for "suspecting his devotion to you".
He draped himself over your shoulders, caging you in his arms as he pecks your temple. "I'm sorry for making you doubt my love for you, princess. No, no- clearly, I'm the one at fault! Let me make it upto you~" Ugh, sometimes him being such a green flag is making it seem like a red flag. But you cant argue because... well, if you dont let Baldwin shower you in affection, then he might stop chanting "its my fault, princess" and change the narrative into "its your fault, princess and you need to be punished for doubting me- the KING, for slapping me- the KING, for thinking yourself so highly that you think i cant have all the women i want, me- the KING! To the dungeons you go, darling!"
Anyways, you both were now sitting down in the royal gardens, Baldwin's head laid in your lap as you worked your fingers through his luscious locks, absentmindedly braiding his hair while he made you tell some stories.
"And so, she found out her husband was cheating on her because she found out a jar of strawb- a jar of lard in her house." You looked down at his face, finding him already staring up at you, eyes full of awe. "And she doesnt eat lard. She hates it, so she never allowed it in the house."
Baldwin let out a small gasp. "And then what did this- Sharkerilla lady do?"
"Shakarina left Pickle. Divorced him." You told him, adding in small daisies in his hair. His face displayed pity. "Wow. And how do you know these people?"
You paused for a second. You cant explain to him how Shakira and Pique were celebrities and the concept of drama channels on youtube.
"We were neighbours." You hummed, patting his head. "There, I did your hair. Now I'm going-"
"No. Come on, we havent spent enough time." He whined, blue eyes looking at you pleadingly.
You scoff. "Baldwin, we've spent the entire day together. We ate breakfast and lunch together, we read books in the library, we looked at tiaras and crowns for the wedding, we even played chess." He lifted his head up from your lap and rested it on his palm as he leaned on his shoulder.
"And you lost all 5 games." Baldwin grinned, making you smack his forehead gently.
"I need to go-"
"Why?"
"Because I need to make arrangements for my trip to Egypt." You explained as Baldwin groaned, plopping his head face-first into your lap. "No." He mumbled against your dress.
"No?"
"No." He raised his head, pouting at you. "You're not going to Egypt. I miss you too much."
You gave him a lazy smile. "I'll be back soon."
"Not soon enough." He argued. "I have to go find my family, Baldwin." You continued on with your lie, raising a hand to caress his cheek. He sighed and leaned into your touch. "I can send the knights to find them." "They wont be able to. Only I will. Besides, I need to know what theyre like, if its even best to let them back into my life again, hm?"
He pondered over for a moment. "Then I will come along?" "What? Why?" He gave you a charming smile. "Because I dont want to part from you. Not for weeks, not for days, not even for-" He leaned up close to your face, eyes darting from your eyes to your lips back to your eyes. "-a minute."
Your face flushed and you looked to your side, using your hand to push his face away, making him chuckle as he grabbed the same hand and pressed a kiss to it. "You're so adorable, my little prude."
You shot him a glare. "I- I'm not a prude. But at least one of us should have a little shame."
He gave a chuckle, poking your still flushed cheek. "Shame? Whatever for? I love you." His eyes lit up in amusement as your head whipped towards him. Baldwin raised a brow at you. Its not the first time he's confessed, but... it still catches you offguard everytime.
"Did you hear me? I love you." He repeated, eyes still twinkling at how you continued to become flustered.
You opened your mouth and then closed it like an idiot, not knowing how to reply.
"Thank you." You finally said, looking anywhere but at him. He burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh god- I tell you- I love you and you say "thank you"? You really are something out of this world!" Baldwin teased you, making you huff.
"Lets not get off topic, Baldwin. You cant come with me to Egypt because you cant abandon Jerusalem. If your throne is empty, Guy- though he doesnt have the brain for it, or Salauddin or someone else will attempt to take your throne from you! You have a responsibility to your people! Keep them safe." You reminded him.
Baldwin stared at you before sighing, leaning back and resting his head on his arms. "You're always so smart, aren't you?" He smiled with his eyes closed. "I suppose it is a good thing that you care so much for your future subjects."
-
Next day, you were all set to leave for Egypt again. Baldwin and you stood at the gates of the castle as the kingdom all gathered around to bid you safe travels. You were ignoring Baldwin's stupid lovey dovey eyes boring holes into you, because there are people here and you dont want this blue orbed man to embarrass you.
But alas, he took your hand in his, making you look at him. He flashed you his dimples, bringing up your hand to press a kiss to it, the crowd cooing while you blushed (though it could be mistaken for anger with how hard you were frowning).
Tearing his eyes away from you, he addressed his people. "O people of Jerusalem! Your princess is going on an important journey. I ask you all to pray for her safety and well being!" The crowd looked on you two with awe, or more at Baldwin for being such a doting husband-to-be.
"While I know that your hearts must ache to see your princess depart from us for some time, I bring you good news to keep your hearts at peace as well." You looked at Baldwin in confusion. Good news? What is he talking about?
Baldwin smiled at you, the sunlight hitting his face at angle that made him look majestic.
"In 3 weeks time, the princess and I will marry!" Your eyes widened as the crowd erupted in cheer.
Baldwin hugged you close, and you whispered. "Three weeks? But I'll be gone for at least two! I wont have enough time to make-"
"Dont worry about a thing, princess. Sibylla and I will make all the arrangements necessary and trust me, it'll be a wedding for generations to remember." He pulled back, grinning at you as he pecked your forehead. "You just focus on returning safely, okay?"
Sibylla, Guy and their son were also there to bid you farewell. Sibylla pulled you in for a tight hug, promising to give you a grand wedding and that she'll keep your prefrences in mind. Their son ran off and Sibylla went to chase after him, leaving you alone with Guy.
"Bye." Guy gruffly said while you smiled tightly at him. "I know what you did, you buffoon." He looked at you slighted. "What the hell are you-"
"Charlotte? The letters? Yeah, we'll talk when I return. And you better not cause anymore trouble for me or else-" You turned to look at Baldwin, waving sweetly at him. Guy gulped, taking in your threat.
-
As usual, your first stop was at Salauddin's camp. You would go without stopping here, the knights Baldwin sent with you claimed to know the way but... you dont trust them to know how to survive the desert. And you knew you were right when some people from your caravan started feeling faint.
"Return to Jerusalem and take care of yourself." "But we cant just leave you, princess-" "You are not going to be able to serve me if you dont survive the desert. Salauddin's camp is near and with his guards combined with mine, I'll be more than safe. Go now. And tell the king that I insisted you returned." You assured them, commanding a few knights to guard them on their way back.
Looking ahead, you saw the sand hill beyond which Salauddin's camp was. Isabella, your lady-in-waiting, gave you your niqaab and chaddar.
-
"And then, he told me about who Charlotte was and what really happened. It was all a big misunderstanding." You told Salauddin as he moved his pawn.
"You believed him?" He raises a brow as you made your move.
"Of course! I already knew Guy was behind it. I figured it from the letters, and his face practically gave it all away when I confronted him about it." You reached under your veil to fan yourself. "Is it burning in here or am I just imagining it?"
Salauddin turned and brought you some cold water. "Guy could be a threat to you. Dont trust him."
You turned your head to the side, barely lifting your veil before bringing the glass underneath it to your lips, gulping it down as you let out a relieved sigh. "I know. Guy is a tool, and tools are meant to be used."
His lips quirked slightly at your words. Sitting back down, he played his move. "When do you plan on leaving Baldwin?"
"Soon. The plan is in motion." You took some time before moving your knight. Salauddin wasnt making this game easy for you this time and neither was the hot temperature.
He leaned forward, taking your knight with his bishop. "And how do you plan on doing that when your fiance has just announced your wedding date?"
You narrowed your eyes at him. "How did you- spies?" Salauddin's silence confirmed how news travelled so fast. "You dont need to worry. I'll be long gone before the wedding day."
"Care to indulge me on your plan?" He popped a date in his mouth.
"No." You replied making him glare at you. "If your plan involves relying on Guy, then you're even stupider than you look."
You scoff, pushing his king down. "I'm sorry, how many rounds have you won against me?" He smirks, though you suspect that he's just trying to cover up for being a sore loser.
"Maybe I just let you win so that you get to live." Of course, how can you forget his "win or you die" version of chess.
"Whatever you say, grandpa." His jaw clenched, making you chuckle. "Your existence gives me a headache. Leave."
As you walked out, you're suddenly hit with a wave of dizziness. Under your veil, your face is sweaty, you cant even use your hands to wipe it away because of how clammy they are, you even feel beads of sweat rolling down from your neck to your leg.
"Are you alright?" Salauddin came up behind you, eyes studying you stumbling a bit.
"Yeah- I'm just- hot..." You muttered, sweat gathering around your upper lip while your mouth felt like cotton. He watched you blink slowly as the sun hit you in the face, making you raise your hand to shield yourself, even though your muscle cramped.
"Y/n?" You heard him call you, but black dots clouded your vision and then in a second, you fainted.
-
You woke up to the sound of drums playing outside. Looking around, you recognised this to be the women's tent you had been in the first time Baldwin brought you here.
Isabella walked in, halting for a moment when she realised you were awake before rushing towards you. "Princess? Are you okay?" She poured you a glass of water, helping you drink it. "What happened?"
"You fainted from the heat. We were going to take you back to the kingdom but Sultan Salauddin advised us all to stay put here because the air was only going to get hotter for the rest of the day. And by night, it would be too cold for us to make it back." She smiled gently. "He was kind enough to offer us stay here."
You nodded and sighed. For sure none of you wouldve survived if you were to return to Jerusalem today.
You walked out of the tent to see it was night now. The drums you heard earlier were being played by some men of Salauddin's, accompanied by few women clapping and having an overall merry time around the bonfire.
You didnt spot Salauddin with them, but you suppose he's probably either working or resting.
The temperature had indeed dropped as night fell, and you wrapped a shawl around before joining the camp fire. You sat down on the ground with some women, smiling as they immeadiately welcomed you warmly. The one on your right was quick to show you her baby, and you recognised him to be the one you saved.
"Jibrael." She told you his name. The baby was almost a month old, and his chubby cheeks made you coo. Jibrael- or Gabriel, is an angel who acted as an  intermediary between God and humans and as bearer of revelation to the prophets, most notably to Muhammad (PBUH). In Christianity, Gabriel was the archangel announcing the coming birth of Jesus Christ and John the Baptist. In Judaism, Gabriel is a helper to Daniel and a warrior angel for God's cause.
You played with the baby for a while before handing him back to his mother to be put down for sleep. It was getting cold now and most had already left to go to bed now. You wrapped the shawl around you closer, snuggling into it as your eyes gazed at the dancing flames. You felt someone sit next to you.
"How are you feeling now?" Salauddin asked, keeping his eyes ahead.
"I'm fine. Thank you for catching me."
"I didnt. You fell. It was funny." You turned to glare at him (the respectable gap between you two did not go unnoticed... or unappreciated by you.) and perhaps for the first time you saw him smiling. Genuinely.
Though his thick beard covered most of his lower third of the face, you could see his sharp jawline that sculpted his face. Strong. Hard. His lips, bottom one appearing to be plumper than the upper one, were resting in a relaxed smile.
The moonlight seemed to soften his sharp features, but his kohl lined eyes adorned with luscious lashes shone with amusement and... something in the orange hue of the bonfire.
He turned his head to you. "What?" You were thankful for your veil covering your expression for being caught staring at him like an idiot. You shake your head, dismissing him, turning your head back towards the dying fire.
"What are you going to do once you leave Baldwin?" Salauddin asked, stoking the fire.
"Leave."
"To where?" You shrug. "Anywhere. Maybe try finding my family. Or venture somewhere else."
"He wont give up so easily." You rolled your eyes. "Yeah yeah, because he loves me and all-"
"He wont forgive your betrayal." Salauddin cut you off. "He wont forgive you for the embarrasment. He wont forgive you for the insult of rejecting a king. He wont just- let you go." He looked at you, his tone haunting as he uttered the next words.
"Baldwin will hunt you down. And he will make you wish you were dead."
You stared at him, processing his words. Baldwin would... hurt me?
"Are we talking about the same man?" You ask him with a light chuckle, though your throat has ran dry.
He nods. "I know he seems like he couldnt hurt a fly, and physically, he couldnt until you cured him. But I've seen him on the battlefield. I've had him as my enemy and I've observed him obliterate people who just tick him off." He offered you some dates, and you took a few. You were hungry, and these looked pretty good right now.
"Baldwin is smart, calculating. He's the king, he has the power to end his enemy very easily. At the drop of a hat. But he doesn't. He waits for the perfect moment, or rather creates the perfect chance to torture any man who had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of his anger. And he does it with a completely cool, clear mind." And even though Salauddin has fought Baldwin many times, they both know they're only fighting for their people, for their religion. Its nothing personal, so they're technically not enemies.
"So what do you suggest I do to not piss him off so badly? I've already tried rejecting him respectfully."
He stayed quiet for a few moments, stoking the fire. He smiled when he felt your curious eyes on him.
"There is a way." He said.
"Which is...?"
His smile widened even more. "You're not ready for it yet." You frowned. "Drop the act, Salauddin. You came here by yourself because you wanted to tell me the plan. Stop teasing and just tell me." He chuckled hearing you become frustrated.
"In due time, Y/n. In due time." You roll your eyes, standing up. "I'm not going to beg you to tell me. But your "plan", which I dont think exists, it better not mess with my escape." You stomped back inside your tent, and Salauddin snickered as you tripped a bit on your chadar on the way in.
He stood up, giving a nod to the rest as they all settled in for the night.
-
"Salauddin!" You cried out, your eyes full of tears that he could see from a mile away, even if your were wearing a niqaab. He could feel your agony, your distress. You were standing in the middle of the desert alone, the boiling sun along with your black chadar covering you from head-to-toe, would only be increasing your body temperature. Why were you all alone? He left you with his caravan. Or did Baldwin leave you in this harsh enviorment to die? Did he find out you were going to leave him?
"Salauddin!" You called out to him again, your voice wet from all the crying. This time, he rode his horse towards you. Fast. He needed to get to you, even though the galloping hurt his shoulder. Yes, he got wounded while he was fighting. He sustained many injuries, many gashes, so much so that by the time he reached you, his white armour had turned bloody. But he was not bothered by it, no. He needed to reach you. You. How long have you been out here? Arent you dying of thirst?
Your arms were still wide open, though drooping from the lack of energy. He could hear you sobbing as you called him again, and he all but ran towards you, bodies colliding as he pulled you into a strong embrace. Muscled arms wrapped around you, comforting you that he's here now. You're safe now.
Salauddin looked around as you bawled into his chest, trying to see if everyone had really abandoned you here and... left you die.
You pulled away from him, but Salauddin didnt remove his hands from you. And thats when he felt the cloth you were wearing. It was too thin. The sun must've burned your skin now. Is that why you're crying? You're in pain?
In a blink, he removed his own thick black chadar that rested on his shoulders and wrapped it around you, pulling it over your head to stop more heat damage.
"Y/n?" He spoke softly as you continued to cry so brokenly as he adjusted the cloth over your body. "What happened?"
"Y-you left me!" You blubbered. He shook his head. "No. I- I left to go in battle. I couldnt take you along. It was dangerous-"
"You left me, Salauddin! You left me here! Baldwin- he hurt me! He hurt me so badly! And you weren't here to protect me!" You sobbed out, your eyes red and swollen from the tears. "I am a part of the ummah! I am a Muslim! You- you were supposed to keep me safe! On your honour, I was in your care! Why didnt you save me, Salauddin?"
Salauddin felt his heart being crushed at your words. He failed to keep you safe? But... he was at war. What was he supposed to do?
He grabbed your shoulders, pulling you to his chest as he rubbed circles into your back. "I'm sorry." He whispered, shushing you as your body shook from tears. "I'm here now. I promise to keep you safe, Y/n. I will never leave you again. I will never let anyone hurt you again. I swear, Allah as my witness, I will do everything to keep you safe." You pulled your head back from his chest, your red eyes looking at him weakly.
"You're too late, Salauddin." You whispered and a sharp sound whooshed through the air, making your body jolt in his arms. You both looked down and thats when he saw it-
An arrow. Poking through your chest.
"Y/n?" His voice trembled, watching the life drain out of your eyes.
You fell, and so did Salauddin, catching your body. He couldnt- he couldnt believe it. He cradled you in his arms, readjusting the chadar over you again, softly calling your name.
Wake up. Wake up, Y/n. Return to me.
Footsteps approached him, though he couldnt bare to tear his eyes from you. He already knew who it was.
"Why?" Salauddin asked him.
Baldwin kneeled down to his level, staring at you for a moment before yanking his arrow out of you, making a stream of blood gush out. Salauddin panicked, tried to cover the gaping wound with his hand. He looked at Baldwin in disbelief. This... this was not the Baldwin he knew. Baldwin was never so cruel- so heartless.
"She deserved it." Baldwin stated before stabbing him in the chest.
Salauddin continued to hold you in his arms, watching Baldwin leave on his horse as you two bled out to your deaths in the middle of the desert.
Salauddin woke up with a jolt, his forehead sweaty as he breathed fast. He could feel his heart beating against his chest loudly.
Nightmare. Thats all it was. He was still in his bed, in his tent.
He got up to fetch himself some water, taking sips to slow down his heart. Judging from the darkness, he knew it was still nighttime. It was quiet, everyone was asleep except for a few men he left to guard them.
It was quiet. Too quiet.
Salauddin whipped around just in time to knock the shadowy figure standing behind him with a sword. In a second, Salauddin had overpowered and snapped his neck, only then realising more shadows moving outside his tent.
"We're under attack! WAKE UP!" He yelled before grabbing his two swords and running out to defend his caravan.
-
You woke up to screaming and Isabella pulling you out of bed.
"We're under attack!" She says, yanking you out of the women's camp that was set on fire. Your eyes were wide and for a moment, you were frozen as you took the scene in front of you.
Fire. There was fire everywhere. All the camps were ablaze, along with some people being burned alive. Haunting screams echoed the entire area. Time slowed down as you saw Salauddin's men fighting... some people. You couldnt figure out who they were, but you knew they werent the knights Baldwin had assigned for you. No, you saw them fighting these mysterious figures as well. They were covered in dark clothes to blend in with the night, had hoods and masks covering their faces but they fought skilfully and very fast.
"Princess, we must leave!" Isabella caught your attention again, dragging you away from the chaos. You saw her following a knight- your knight, who led you towards a horse for you to escape with.
Salauddin... where's Salauddin?
You looked back frantically and you spotted him in the sea of flames, cutting through multiple armed one with his two swords slicing them brutally.
For a moment, your eyes met and then in the next, he screamed your name.
Isabella had pushed you away just in time as two men came at you with swords. You knight yelled at you to run. Again, Isabella pulled you to make an escape but it wasnt long before you two got separated by a woman who was on fire, running in between you two.
"H-help her." You told Isabella who took of her shawl to put out the fire. In the middle of all this commotion, you heard a distinct cry.
A baby's cry.
Jibrael!
It was coming from one of the tents. You ran in, looking around for the baby before spotting the bassinet. You grabbed the crying baby and held it close to your chest, trying to shush it as you walked towards the exit only to halt when you saw who was blocking it.
The shadowy figure. He was wearing dark hood and mask, while the rest of his armour was made of leather. He was armed with swords, daggers and a satchel.
It clicked. Assassin.
The assassin stared at you with dark eyes taking a step forward. You backed away, holding the crying baby protectively to your chest. He tilted his head at you, and for a second, you thought you saw amusement in his eyes.
Slowly, he walked out of the tent without saying a word but he stood right behind the curtain of the tent. You saw his shadow pull out his sword before standing there still.
What is he doing?
You turned around, hoping to find another exit but thats when you saw it. Two more shadows stood outside the tent and then they dropped something on the tent walls.
Fire. They lit the entire tent on fire and stood outside with their swords, giving you the choice to either die by their swords or burn yourself alive.
The fire spread fast, burning the flammable tent easily. Dark smoke started to surround you making you cough. The baby continued to cry harshly and you pulled him under your chadar to protect him from the fire and smoke.
But you didnt realise it until it was too late. Your chadar, your clothes had caught on fire as well. You screamed for help, screamed in agony as your skin burned. It felt like you were being branded, felt like someone was ripping your skin off.
Is this it? Is this how it all ends for you? Suffocated, skin charred, body naked? In a period where no one knows who you really are?
You fell to your knees before hunching over the baby, cradling it in your arms as its harsh cries burst your ears, protecting him from being burned for as long as you can.
Allah... Allah... Allah...
Through the thick smoke, a figure ran and covered your body with a thick cloth, patting down to put out the flames.
He picked your trembling body up, your arms still wrapped around the baby protectively. He walked through the ablaze tent, his face still covered by the smoke, or perhaps your vision was too blurry.
He exited the tent, the smoke cleared out and a gush of air filled your lungs. But you were burned, suffocated and exhausted.
The last thing you saw before your world faded to black was Salauddin's face.
-
You woke up to the sound of Quran recitation. A gentle, steady voice read the words beautifully.
Fluttering your eyes open, you looked around the room for the source. To your side, you found Salauddin reciting the Quran with his eyes closed in concentration. Was he a hafidh? (Hafidh is someone who has memorised the Quran completely).
He opened his eyes when finished reciting, looking stunned for a second to find you awake before a small smile graced his lips.
"We're in Egypt now." He informed you before concern washed over his face. "How are you feeling now? I changed your bandages in the morning, but I think its time to replace them." He grabbed the bowl of water and bandages on your side.
"B-bandages?" He stopped before understanding your confusion.
"You were in the tent when the assassins set it on fire. Your... clothes caught on fire, which stuck to your skin and burned it as well. I had to remove the remains of your clothes to treat your burns-"
"What?!" Your eyes looked down to confirm his words, he had indeed changed your clothes. "Why did you-" Your hands touched your face, heart sinking as you realised your veil was not there.
"You removed my niqaab?! My clothes?!" Your fury was only a disguise for your fear of what he'd seen, what he'd done to you in your vulnerable state.
He shook his head. "I had to do it as soon as we were safe. You were hurt-"
"Why? Why did you have to do it? Why not Isabella or any of the other women?!"
His face turned solemn. "Isabella... was gravely injured. She was in no position to look after you. Most people- most women from my tribe did not survive. The few who did were also wounded. The men... I just thought you wouldnt prefer someone you didnt know to look at you in such state." Salauddin looked at you, his eyes clear. "I did not do anything unbecoming of a man. Allah as my witness, I did not touch you with ill intent."
Perhaps it was the way he said it, or perhaps you just wanted to keep your mind at peace but... you believed him.
"How's Isabella now?" You let him change the dressings on your arms, watching him like a hawk as he moved quickly and carefully, no unnecessary touches or lingering that would make you uncomfortable. Even when he treated the the burns on the back of your legs, he worked fast, applying some balm on the red areas. The balm was like a cool gel against your irritated skin.
"She's better now. Just needed some rest." He replied as he finished wrapping the bandage on your legs. "Your back." Salauddin softly asked. You hesitated.
He sighed. "Y/n... I need to apply the balm or your skin will scar." You slowly turned around, holding your breath as you removed the robe from your back partially.
If he wanted to, he could've done anything when you were unconcious. You calmed yourself.
Again, Salauddin's hand worked fast, applying the balm quickly and placing some gauze over the marks. He pulled your robe over your back again, letting you turn around with a flushed face.
"My... my face?" You asked cautiously. You did not know if damage had been done there as well.
Salauddin understood you. "Fortunately, your face was save from the flames." He stood up and went over to the wardrobe to grab you a white chadar, handing it to you so that you cover your head with it. "Maybe when you were ducking over Jibrael, your arms covered both you and him from the fire."
"Jibrael...?" You asked. He smiled assuringly. "He's fine. You saved him... again." You sigh in relief. At least this wasnt all for naught.
Salauddin sits back down in the chair and though you've covered your hair with the shawl, he keeps his eyes trailed down on his hands in his lap. "I must ask you of one thing." You peeked at him before keeping your eyes focused on your lap as well.
"Will you... tell Baldwin about this incident?" Why would you when it would only cause Baldwin to panic and prevent you from leaving the castle, or his sight at all? You still need to come here to get parts for your time machine and even if the machine was working, you need to be able to use it without Baldwin or his army of knights breathing down your neck.
"No. It will only cause misunderstandings between you and him and I need to punish the real culprit for it."
He frowned but didn't raise his gaze. "And who might that be?"
"Those men... they were assassins, right?" He hummed. "Judging by how vicious they were, I think they were Ismailis."
Ismailis were a sect of Shia Muslims. Basically, like the great schism of Christianity into Orthodox and Catholic Church, Islam also had a schism that divided it into Sunni and Shia Islam. Shia Islam further had divided into different sects, of which one was Ismailis.
Sunni and Shia Muslims have been at war with each other since the beginning over religious differences. And considering Salauddin was not only Sunni Muslim but also targeted many Ismaili assassins so that they would not oppose his rule, it would be an understatement that they wanted Salauddin dead.
But... you know Salauddin had already gotten rid of most of the assassins and established his dominance over them. You're sure he's already had a peace treaty with them.
"Salauddin, you have an agreement with the Ismailis, don't you?" You watched his eyes widen slightly. "You're on peaceful terms with them at the moment?"
"How did you know?" Of course, the great Sultan Salauddin, an orthodox Sunni, wouldn't want the world to know that he spared the Ismailis. No, that would stir rumours that Salauddin has empathy for Ismailis, for the Shias, and which would lead to the rumours of hum being a Shiite Muslim.
You waved him off. "I know your character. I know of your mercy. Besides, I know both you and the Ismailis have a bigger common enemy- the Christians. Its more than likely that the Ismailis are supporting you so that you defeat Baldwin and claim Jerusalem, then they can focus on you. Plus, if the Ismailis wanted to kill you, why wait until now? They know you've been camping outside Jerusalem for months now." Salauddin was... impressed by your deduction skills to say the least. How are you connecting the dots so fast? Just who are you, Y/n?
You rubbed your chin. "So that means that someone not only hired the assassins but also wants us to think that the Ismailis were behind it all." Who could it be? Someone who wants to harm Salauddin but... they also wanted to harm you. It couldnt be the Roman Catholics or other Christians. No, they'd know better than to interfere with Baldwin, their Holy Emperor's war. Especially not with his wife-to-be in harms way. Who... who would know that you're with Salauddin and still attempt an assassination-
"Guy." You muttered, pinching the nose of your bridge. Of course, its fucking Guy, shit for brains Guy who cant sit still and wait his turn to play king.
"Guy? Why would he attack me when you're still here?" Salauddin's mind immeadiately gives an answer as soon as he asks out loud.
"Because I am here." You groan. "He's trying to eliminate us both, or at the very least- me, while I'm with you so that he can provoke Baldwin to go to war with you because you "killed" his future wife. He would tell Baldwin that it doesnt matter if they were Ismailis or not, we were all Muslims and this is just how Muslims are! He'd send Baldwin off to not only go to war with you but rather go to war with Muslims everywhere! And knowing Guy, he probably hopes that Baldwin dies in the process of his rampage. If you, me or Baldwin are all dead, or even one of us is, then Guy will only have to worry about dealing with one less person. His best bet was probably to get rid of me and you both, then have Baldwin go to war with all the Muslims who killed his fiancee. He's using all of us as pawns so that he gets to sneak on to the throne and be king!"
You heard Salauddin sigh. Perhaps he agreed with your theory. Perhaps he didnt. Whatever he may think, you know he will still conduct a thorough investigation of his own to find out who the real culprit is,
"Dont worry, I will deal with Guy. In fact, I'll let you have him to slaughter as you please." Of course, Salauddin will kill Guy. He has to pay for the blood of all his people.
Salauddin watched you get up from the bed and walk towards the vanity. "How long will these take to heal?" You asked, referring to your burns. "Usually take about a month, but the balm I used will significantly fade the marks." Good. You dont need Baldwin freaking out over them.
He stood up to take his leave. "I'll check on what information they've been able to gather from the assassin we caught. You-" He pointed towards the bed. "Rest. I mean it. These burns will only get worse in the heat outside, thats why I gave you the coolest room in the palace." He continued to glare at you until you finally sighed and sat on the bed. "I have to go see Isabelle-" You tried but he raised his hand. "No. You are to stay here, in your room. No one gets in, and no one gets out. I dont trust anyone to not try to kill you, not even in your own entourage- whatever is left of them. My men are stationed right outside. If you need anything, you tell them. But you are not to leave your chambers."
"I'll see you at dinner." He left and you saw the guards stationed outside your door.
The great thing about Egyptian palaces was that they had big windows to allow for ventilation. So you were already out of the window and climbing along the edge. You were about to jump when you heard someone call you.
"P-princess?!" Isabelle looked at you in horror. Apparently, you had climbed down near the balcony of her room. "Oh hey, Isabelle! How are you now?"
"I- I'm fine- princess, please get down from there!" She practically begged, fearing for your life. You climbed over her balcony and hugged her. "I'm so glad you're okay! Because I need you to do me a favour." You gave her a sweet smile while she looked at you in confusion. "See, I need to go out for a bit but Salauddin has told me to stay in and rest. So... I need you to cover for me again, just like last time."
"I- what- princess-"
"I wouldnt ask you if it wasnt of grave importance." You pleaded, finally making her give in. "Okay, I'll go to your room-" You stop her when she begins walking away.
"You cant just walk in there. There's guards stationed there and they wont let you in."
"Then how am I supposed to get in?"
You smiled at her. She didnt like that smile. It wasnt... well meaning.
"Well..." You looked at the balcony and she followed your gaze, almost immediately coming to tears.
"Princess please-"
"I am right here. I will help you, I promise Isabelle! I wont let you fall."
-
After helping a trembling Isabelle climb into your room, you had finally made your way to the madrassa. You had covered your face with your chadar and sneaking inside was no feat.
Abbas jumped out of his seat the moment you entered.
"Y/n! I thought you forgot all about me- wait what happened to your hands?" He referred to the bandages.
"I had an accident while conducting an experiment." "What experiment? Can I be a part of it? Please please please-"
"Abbas." You silenced him. "Business first. Did you make the tools I asked you to?" He quickly ran to his desk and pulled them out from the drawer. You examined them. They werent the best but you could make do with them. You nodded before asking for a paper so that you could draw the last few bits you needed.
"I need these by the end of this week." Abbas chuckled. "Oh I thought you were joking. How do you expect me to build- whatever this is! in a week? No way. I would need to get all the material and-"
"Abbas. I need it this week. I dont care how, but you have to do it."
He looked at you suspiciously. "Maybe if you could just tell me what it is that you're making-"
"No. I cant. And you will make me this by the end of the week, if not earlier because I have a very good reward waiting for you."
Abbas rolled his eyes. "I dont need your money-"
"I will let you ask me anything you want. Any question on any topic you'd like." You knew Abbas's thirst for knowledge.
You saw the twinkle in his eyes. "I will still take the money." "Of course, but I'll pay you after you make me this." He sighed and agreed.
"Wait- check this please?" He handed you his journal that had some math equations. You huffed, grabbing his pen and working on the mistakes. "I'm doing this just so that you do my work." You gave him some other math problems you did in grade 8 and handed it back to him.
You turned to leave before pausing.
"Abbas?" He hummed. "I think... we should set some security measures." You whispered.
"Whatever for?"
"Just in case someone came looking for me or my work. You know you're not supposed to tell anyone about this."
"I couldnt even if I wanted to." He tilted his head. "Why would someone come looking for you? Are you in trouble?"
You shake your head. "No. But you're aware of how other... scholars are eager to steal ideas." He nodded, being a victim of such crime.
"What do you have in mind?"
-
Salauddin was informed when you had returned to the palace. Of course he knew the moment you left. This was his Egypt. Not a bird flies without his knowledge here.
He sent out a spy after you, both to keep you safe and to follow you around. He couldnt help but let out a huff when he was told of your daring climb out of the window. Didnt he tell you to stay in bed?
"This girl..." He grumbles.
The spy told him that you went inside the madrassa. Why? What business could you possibly have there?
Perhaps you're creating a poison? To kill Baldwin? No, there would be easier ways to get poison. You did tell him and Baldwin that you were going to Egypt to find your family, but he has a hard time believing that.
Just what were you upto?
He'll find out soon enough. This is his kingdom, he finds out things. And he'll find out your secret too.
He knocked on your door before entering. You were sitting on your bed, your face now covered with a niqaab and your hair with his white chadar. His clothes. He felt something warm in his heart at the thought.
"How are you now?" He asked, his hands clasped behind his back.
"I'm fine. Just bored waiting here all day." You sighed exasperatedly.
Such a liar.
"I apologise for not being able to entertain you. I was busy with the assassin." You looked at him in anticipation. "He didn't reveal much but he did say that they were hired. I suppose that would bring us closer to your theory."
He watched your eyes narrow in thought. "It has to be Guy. He knew I was going to the desert to you first. He needed to get rid of me without anything to come back on him. Coward."
The door was knocked.
"I hope you dont mind- I had them bring dinner up here." Salauddin explained, letting the servants in. They set down a dastarkhawan in the balcony. A red table cloth was set on the ground, onto which many dishes were placed. You both sat down on cushions, the area was lit up with candles placed. You were busy admiring the view of the pyramids from your seat while Salauddin poured you some ginger kehwa.
"Here." You lifted your niqaab a bit to sip the hot tea, a sigh escaping your lips. Salauddin's lips quirked a bit but he, like you, kept his eyes focused on the pyramids.
You picked up the plate of dates from your side, knowing how fond he is of them. "Here." You mimicked his voice, making him smile as he grabbed a piece.
You both silently ate, admiring the view and enjoying each others presence.
Some time later, you were both done with dinner and just sat in silence. That is until Salauddin spoke.
"I'm sorry." You looked at him. "For letting you get hurt."
You exhaled, trailing your eyes back towards the night sky that was littered with gleaming stars.
"I know. But you shouldnt be, Salauddin. I'm not made of porcelain."
I know. I saw you jumping off the palace walls with the confidence of an assassin and the grace of a headless chicken.
"Still, you're under my care. I am responsible for you-"
"I free you of this burden." You're not a burden. "I am not that hurt and I am not scarred for life. If anything, all that incident made me question is just how far would man go?" Your eyes glazed over as you recalled the incident in the tent, where the assassin left you and the baby to burn to death. You could understand killing you, but a baby? He was willing to let a baby burn?
"It makes me believe just how barbaric people were to the Ahl al-Bayt (family of Prophet Muhammad PBUH). How easy it was for them to slaughter his lineage, how easy it was for them to keep water from them, how their hearts did not halt for a moment when they heard the cries of Ali Asghar- who they killed with an arrow in the neck." Your eyes glistened. "A baby. He was just a baby. How would've his father felt in that moment, holding his dead son in his arms, knowing he had to bring him home to his wife?" The battle of Karbala was one of the most heart wrenching tragedies of Islam and whats worse is that Prophet Muhammad knew of it years before it happened. He knew his own grandsons will face martyrdom years before it actually happened, when they were just little children in his arms.
"Man is cruel." Salauddin stated.
"But Allah made man. Why... would he allow man to be so cruel? Even animals are not this merciless." You wondered.
"Because man cannot see God." He says. "There are signs of His existence, signs for those who wish to be guided. Animals can see God. Angels can see God. Humans... Allah has made us with the ability to think, to choose. Man chooses to be cruel when he forgets that Allah is watching, that these things- the stones, the trees, everything around him? They're all living beings who will testify against man." He smiles. "But that is why the true believers also have a greater reward in the hereafter. What do you think of the reward, of what you'll get when you enter heaven? You dream of wealth, of food, of all luxuries. But there's a greater reward waiting for us. Do you know what that is?"
You gave a slight shake of your head.
"The true believers will see Allah. They will get to meet their Lord, their Creator, the One who saw them through it all, the One who knows their secrets and kept them hidden, the One continued to shower His blessings upon them even when they were not grateful." Those words... they comforted you. How peaceful it is to the heart to hear that your Creator waits for you. The One who has seen you shed tears and took care of you in this world will also take care of you in the next. And at the same time, this is such devastating news for the sinners too. Those who act selfishly, who forget who their Lord is, they will end up in hell and will never get the opportunity to see their Creator again, to ask of mercy from the most Merciful.
"Still..." You mumbled, wanting to find an excuse for such wickedness.
"It is not our place to ask why, Y/n. Allah does not owe us answers, explanations. He already has given us His book for guidance, his prophets for example. But know this- everything happens for a reason. Maybe the battle of Karbala was just to show us how quick man can turn on his own. Perhaps in the future, a time will come when people will kill many women and children, slaughter men so brutally while the entire world watches and yet... no one does anything. And then people will wonder- surely, man is not so evil. Surely, man wouldn't kill innocent children. Perhaps then they will remember history."
-
Salauddin woke up with a sigh. He had gone to sleep after he left your room last night, but he woke up from yet another dream he had of you. You. You. You. Since that night in the desert, he's been having constant dreams about you. Its either you dying at the hands of Baldwin or Guy, or its you asking him to help you. Tonight, he dreamt of you two celebrating Ramadan together, with you picking up the plate and offering him dates, however unlike dinner, you were sitting much closer to him in his dream, by his side. So close, he could see himself in your eyes.
Salauddin wasnt vain enough to admit it to himself- he had feelings for you. But what were they?
Lust? Not really, he's seen far prettier women than you. Beauty... is subjective and Salauddin is a firm believer in "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
Admiration? No. He admires your intelligence and your wit but Salauddin also has those qualities.
Infatuation? Sure he does think about you often during the day but not enough to call it obsession.
No, its love. It has to be. His heart doesnt know what exactly it is about you that draws him in. His mind doesnt comprehend why he feels like you belong with him but his soul, every fibre of his being screams that you do.
Allah has created someone for someone. He created Eve for Adam, He creates a woman from the rib of the man.
Salauddin touches the side of his chest, just above his abdomen.
Perhaps you're his missing rib.
You were smart, you were daring, you were also stupid enough to put yourself in harms way but it was... endearing. More importantly, you were the only person who could bicker with him, stand your ground against him and get away with it too.
He sat down on a chair, looking out at the pyramids. Like the man he's named after (Prophet Yusuf/Joseph), Salauddin believes in dreams having meaning. Perhaps its a way for God to talk to you, to warn you or guide you.
And from all his dreams about you, he's come to interpret it that he must save you from Baldwin... and everyone else. And he can save you- he can save you without you having to go through the trouble to be plotting against Baldwin and endangering yourself by working with Guy.
He could marry you.
If you were to marry Salauddin, you would become the queen of Egypt and the wife of the strongest Muslim leader of the time. Not only that but the entire ummah, Muslims around the world will come together as one to fight against Baldwin, against anyone who dares to harm you. You would be safe, you would be secure by his side as his wife.
But the plan is easier said than done.
Baldwin wouldnt backdown so easily. He would wreak havoc and if he's as obsessed with you as Salauddin has seen him, then he wouldnt stop at nothing to get you back. Baldwin will have to be dead for you to be safe from him.
Besides Baldwin, you yourself also are a hurdle. You havent shown any interest in him (which is understandable because you're engaged) but he doubts you're interested in marrying anyone at all. You're not one to be affected his wealth or status, you dont go for materialistic things. He's sure if he were to ask your hand, you would laugh hysterically and then maybe try mocking him. And Salauddin does not want to force you to marry him. He wants you to want him.
There is a way he could convince you. All he has to do is make himself look better than any man, especially Baldwin because you do seem to have a soft spot for him despite trying to sabotage him.
A sinister idea comes to mind.
What if Baldwin breaks up with you?
If Baldwin, for any reason, decides not to marry you then not only will you be free from him but a war will be avoided.
All Salauddin has to do is give Baldwin a reason to break up with you. He could send some concubines to him, but he doubts Baldwin would use them. And even if he did, it isnt reason enough for him to call off things with you. No, the only way Baldwin would break up with you is... if you're unfaithful to him. You dont need to cheat, dont need to sleep with any man. No, you dont have to do anything at all. All he has to do is make sure you're in the right place at the right time and Baldwin's there too, just enough to create doubt in his mind. And the ball will roll from there. Baldwin will continue to second guess your loyalty to him until he's driven himself insane. Then he'd leave you without ever punishing you for a crime he thinks you committed but has no proof of. Thats when Salauddin will swoop in as your knight in shining armour and you'll see that all men but him are shit and you'll say yes to his proposal-
No.
He sighed, rubbing his temples. Despite it being a perfect plan, the safest plan- Salauddin cant bare to stain your character. He cannot spread a rumor about you being unfaithful. He cannot have anyone talk badly of you, even if it will end up with you in his arms. You're important to him. And if you ever figure out that Salauddin was the one behind it all, you'd never forgive him. You would never trust him.
The thought of you not trusting him, just like you dont trust him enough to tell him why you sneaked out of the palace, it hurts him. He doesnt know why but he wants you to trust him- trust him enough that you come to him with your problems and have faith that he will solve them for you. He will keep you safe. He will protect you.
He will have to find another way.
Salauddin offered the morning prayer before reciting the Quran, asking Allah for guidance for his problems and good health for you.
He walked out of his room and turned to the corridor where your room was, only to find you sneaking out of the room with Isabelle. You were still wearing his white chaddar, and it engulfed your small body like a blanket as you hurriedly walked down-
You tripped on the bottom of the long chaddar and fell face first.
"Princess!" Isabelle cried out as she helped you up, but you quickly dusted yourself off and continued talking her ear off as if nothing had happened, the tail of the chaddar trailing behind you as Isabelle walked beside you to keep up with what you were saying.
"Idiot..." He whispered to himself, though he was smiling. He called a servant and ordered him to bring the finest chaddars and niqaabs for you. He cant have you tripping all over the place because you wear his chaddar that was too big for you, despite how adorable you looked in it.
-
You knocked on his door.
"Salauddin, I was going to the market-"
"And you came to ask for permission? Okay, granted." He waved you off with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes. "Where do you get the audacity- nevermind. I came to ask if you'd lend me a few gold coins? I need to buy some things, souvenirs if you will." You had lost your coin purse in the desert and you need to pay Abbas.
He raised a brow. "What do you need? I can have it brought to you here."
You pursed your lips. Why is he being difficult? "I dont know what I need until I look. Just give me some money, I promise to pay you back as soon as I can."
He stood up, walking upto you but you neither backed away nor moved your eyes from him. "Its not about the money." He pulled out a pouch and dropped it in your hands. "I worry for your safety. Who knows how many others Guy has hired to kill you? I'm coming along."
"Aww, you're worried about me? That's so sweet-"
"I wouldnt want my image to tarnish because a guest died in my care." Your smile dropped as you grumbled something under your breath.
"Whatever. I still dont need you to tag along-"
"Good thing about being the sultan is that I dont need anyone's permission." He cut you off before walking past you. You stomped after him. "Salauddin, dont you have work-"
"You can either come with me or stay in your room for the rest of your stay here." He stated.
-
"What?" He heard you snicker beside him. Your eyes twinkled with amusement. "Oh, its just these rags suit you a lot." Salauddin and his guards had worn disguises to blend in with the commoners. He didnt want to draw attention to you two.
He rolled his eyes. "I have to blend in for your safety-" "I have never looked more in danger than I do right now. Look around and see people staring at a lady dressed so modestly is surrounded by brooding men wearing rags." You giggled as Salauddin looked around to see some people were indeed looking your way.
You stopped at a small stall that was selling some jewellery. You were looking at some rings, trying to choose something for Sibylla. The shopkeeper, an old man must've seen Salauddin standing over your shoulder looking around for any suspicious men.
"Son, why dont you help your wife pick something? Focus on her!" The shopkeeper said, catching you both off guard. You looked at Salauddin and laughed at his surprised face. Continuing to pull his leg, you stared up at him and batted your lashes. "Well, husband? What do you think would suit me?" You asked raising two different earrings to your face. One had a ruby in it, the other had sapphire.
He looked at you for a moment.
"Neither."
Your smile underneath your veil vanished, and you placed the earrings back on the table.
"The blue opal ones." He nodded his head as the shopkeeper handed him the tear drop gold earrings that had the precious stones fixed in it. He brought the earrings near your face, never touching it as his eyes assessed his pick.
"They bring out your eyes." He said before paying the old man and giving them to you, all while you were looking at him in awe.
"Wait! Why did you pay? I had the money." You two had begun walking again. "You mean the money I gave you?" You frowned. "I'm gonna pay you back." He smiled. "You dont need to. I have enough. As for the earrings... consider them a gift."
"Gift?"
He hummed, his chest puffed up. "Part of the hospitality of the sultan."
You glared at him before smiling. "Thanks." You two continued to walk around the market, Salauddin gave alms to the poor he encountered. You were standing at another stall, watching in fascination as the man ground up the black powder and mixed it with oils to make kohl. He filled it up in a beautiful vessel before asking if you'd like to try it.
"Oh, I dont know how to." Especially not without a mirror, which the man didnt have. But he was persistent to sell his product and when he looked at Salauddin's kohl lined eyes, he offered it to him.
"Would you apply it on your wife?" This time, Salauddin didnt react like he did the earlier when he was associated with you. He took the wooden stick dipped in the kohl and looked at you for permission.
You gave a nod. He walked upto you, gently cupping your veil covered face. You thanked God for the niqaab, or else he would've seen how violently you were blushing.
"Chin up." He whispered before tilting your chin up. Your eyes shifted as they stared into his brown ones. "Open wide." He ordered, even though your eyes were already saucer shaped from the close proximity.
He began tracing the soft edge of the stick along the waterline of your right eye. He seemed to have noticed that you were holding your breath. "Relax." He softly commanded, patting your cheek with his thumb. That broke you out of your trance as you narrowed your eyes at him.
"Dont tell me what to do." You grumbled. "Open wide." He ordered again bringing the stick up to your left eye for a second coat. You hated the way he commanded you, hated that he seemed to be having his fun with this.
"Dont order-"
"If you dont listen to me, I will marry you today." Your eyes blew wide open in shock.
"What-?!"
"Hush." He smiled placing kohl on your now wide eyes. "Whats wrong? You seemed to enjoy playing my wife but when I joke to marry you, you dont like it."
He's... joking?
Without realising, you blinked causing the still wet kohl to spread in your eyes. Salauddin had pulled the stick back just in time to not poke your eye out.
You hissed in pain, raising your hand to rub your eyes but Salauddin caught your wrist pushing it down.
"Open your eyes, Y/n. Look at me. I said- look at me." You opened your eyes to stare at him, your vision blurry from the mixture of tears and kohl.
Salauddin grabbed his handkerchief and began to dab the excess away as he tutted at you to stay still. Once he was done wiping the excess away, he blew cold air on your irritated eyes gently.
"I swear... if you dont sit still, I really will marry you today." He threatened you as he watched your red eyes glare at him. He didnt like that you were in pain, even if your own stupidity was the cause of it. This time when he applied kohl, you didnt dare to move an inch.
Fortunately, he worked faster this time around.
He gave a nod of approval when he was done. You dont know whether it was because he liked how your eyes looked now or if he was admiring his own work.
Salauddin handed the man money before taking a few bottles of kohl.
For the next hour, you two walked around in silence mostly. The image of your kohl lined eyes occupied his mind, not only because of how beautiful they were but also all the emotions that switched in a matter of seconds. You could try and hide your feelings all you want but your eyes tell. The eyes... they're the window to one's soul.
He saw attraction, anger, mesmerisation, disgust and pain in your eyes. Or maybe he's overthinking this. Maybe it was all just momentary and you really do hate the idea of being married to him.
You were both standing at yet another shop, this one was selling dates. Salauddin walked inside the shop a little more to inspect the quality of the dates, expecting you to be following behind him but when he turned around, you were gone. He walked outside the shop, hoping to find you there but it seemed like you had vanished. Even his guards hadnt seen you.
And then, as Salauddin whipped his head around, he saw the silloutte of your chadar disappearing around the corner. He ran after you, hoping to not lose you in the crowd but as soon as he turned around the corner, he couldnt spot you anywhere. He ran down the street, looking left and right but you werent there.
Where are you, Y/n?
He began walking back towards the main street when in the corner of his eye, he caught the sight of a familiar chadar. He turned his head to the right and there you were, standing with your back to him under the shadow of the large canopy of the shop talking to some man.
He walked up behind you, the man you were talking to seeing him first.
"Y/n." He snapped. You turned startled before your shoulders relaxed at the sight of him. "Oh, its just you. Did you buy the dates?"
Dates? You're asking him about dates after you just made his heart stop for a few minutes?
"Why did you leave me?" Ya Allah, that came out way more desperate than he wanted it to.
"I was getting something from this man." He raised a brow, almost as if he didnt believe you. You sighed. "This is Abbas. I hired him to make some things for me?"
"Such as?" You narrowed your eyes at his accusatory tone before nodding at Abbas, who then pulled out a heaxagonal shaped board that looked somewhat similar to a-
"Its 3 people chess!" You exclaimed, bouncing on your feet as you handed it to Salauddin. "I designed it and had Abbas make it for you!"
"For me?" He asked, turning the board around as he tried to understand how it would work.
"Yeah. I wanted to thank you for saving my life. And for your hospitality. And for lending me money."
His eyes softened slightly. "You dont need to thank me, Y/n. Its... my duty. I'm responsible for you." You waved him off. "Yeah yeah. Look, just take this and I'll teach you how to play so that one day you could play it with your wife and... kid? Or maybe with your wife and Baldwin? Or two wives-?"
"Y/n, I appreciate the gift but I would appreciate your silence more now." You pouted at his words but never the less, you both left to return to the palace, unaware of the eyes watching you two.
The mysterious figure wrote down what he'd seen before using messenger eagle to deliver the note to Jerusalem.
-
It had almost been a week in Egypt. You and Salauddin were having lunch together when a guard came to him and whispered something in his ear, the sultan frowning.
"Whats wrong?" You asked him.
He looked at you. "Baldwin... he's coming to Egypt."
"What? When?"
"He's crossed the desert. He should be getting here today, in a few hours." Salauddin was still frowning. Why is Baldwin coming to Egypt?
You shook your head. "Baldwin wouldnt ever leave Jerusalem, not unless..." Your eyes widened at the realisation.
"He's coming for a war." Salauddin confirmed.
Fuck.
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Part 7 is here!
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clandestineloki · 1 year ago
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miguel o'hara x shy crybaby housewife!reader (p3)
[based off of a request where a kind anon asked me 2 write one where he snapped at her, tweaked it a little bit so he's actually not mad at her but more concerned, it just came off in the wrong way]
tw: mentions of blood and wounds from shards, suggestive bit at the end
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miguel whos just gotten out of the nice warm bath you made for him
having put on a tight white shirt and sweatpants, drying his hair when he hears a something breaking in the kitchen followed by a scream
he rushes to the kitchen where his dimensional jump watch is on the ground in pieces, debris all over
and you're kneeling over it, trying to pick up the bigger pieces
"shit!" he yells, kneeling down and surveying the damage. "get away from that!"
"i'm sorry!" you cry, clearly shaken. "i-it was on the table and i hit it with my elbow-"
"i know- please don't- just let me-" miguel tries to gently usher you away, but you shake your head.
"it's my fault," you cut him off. "i'll clean it up-"
"I SAID GET AWAY! THIS COULD EXPLODE SO LET ME FUCKING HANDLE IT, ALRIGHT?!"
it stuns you into complete silence, making you flinch away and lean against the kitchen counter.
miguel sighs, running a hand through his hair.
"sorry." miguel says bluntly without looking up. "just- fuck- the last time this happened it broke my nose so don't touch anything-"
he pieces the parts of the watch together, brows furrowing when he sees the tiny projector panel is missing. "what? where's the-"
shaky hands place two broken pieces of the projector panel in his hands
his brows furrow when he sees there are specks of blood on your palms
and he realizes you were trying to fix it on your own :((
he looks up and you're staring up at him with tears in your eyes, your bottom lip wobbling as your breathing quickens and the tears stream down your cheeks.
"i-i'm sorry," you whisper, and his heart shatters
"amor-"
before he can react you stand up and flee to the bathroom
"oh no," miguel leaves the watch pieces right there on the floor and follows you
he finds you at the sink
running your hands through warm water as you cry quietly
miguel feels immense guilt for yelling at you
he wraps his arms around you from behind as he looks at you in the mirror
"bebita," he whispers. "let me help you..."
you're still looking down, avoiding his gaze, and he sighs, pressing a kiss to your neck.
"bebita, i'm sorry," he mumbled. "i was scared you'd get hurt, i didn't mean to yell at you..."
you sniffle, turning off the tap. "i messed up."
"we all do," he whispers. "i messed up too, you didn't deserve that, you were just trying to help."
you shake your head, turning to face him and showing him your palms filled with cuts. "yeah, n' look what happened."
"you think too lowly of yourself, cariño," he lifts you up on the counter, taking the first aid kit from the drawer and fishing out the tweezers, some cotton and some rubbing alcohol.
he presses a kiss to your lips. "i'm not mad at you for this. i want you to know that. i had no right acting like a jackass."
you laugh softly through tears, and he smiles sadly, taking your left hand and looking for your injuries
the next few minutes are completely silent as miguel picks out the tiny shards from your palms
he kisses each palm when he's done, then pours some alcohol on a cotton ball.
"bebita, this might sting a bit. take a deep breath for me."
you start sobbing, and he looks up at you.
"bebita, i haven't even put the alcohol-"
"i'm sorry," you whimper, crying harder, and his heart breaks again.
"amor," he leans in, brushing stray hair away from your face and thumbing at your tears.
"you're very pretty even when you cry, but please don't be sad..."
miguel pulls you into a hug and you let it all out while he shushes you softly, kissing your hair and whispering words of love
patiently waiting for you to come back to him, wiping away your tears and sniffling, looking up at him with a tentative expression.
miguel smiles. "there she is," he mumbles, kissing you sweetly. "nobody's mad anymore, i know you meant well, you always do."
he kisses your nose. "i love you."
"love you too," you whisper, and he smiles.
"do you want to watch a movie with me while i clean you up?"
"mhm."
"your pick, amor. anything you want, anything-"
"can we watch top gun?"
"no."
"but you said it was my choice!"
"anything but that! you know i hate top gun!"
"we watch top gun or im not cooking paella for a month"
"BEBITA POR DIOS!"
you giggle and he sighs.
"fine. you're lucky you're the love of my life... and that i dont know how to cook my own paella."
"how about this?" miguel lifts you up in a princess carry.
"i'll watch top gun with you WITHOUT complaining if you promise to never let me yell at you like that again."
you look at him in confusion. "but-"
"promise me." he whispers.
"okay," you nuzzle into his neck. "i promise."
"good. and remind me to eat you out more often im forgetting how good you taste ;)"
"MIGUEL!!"
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vivwritesfics · 1 month ago
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Drive Me Crazy
Chapter Four
None of you are used to pack dynamics. Unlike then, it made you near feral. There's nothing more they want than to build you back up.
Lestappen X Reader
Series Masterlist
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"You're okay, Beastie. You did good."
It hadn't been an easy race for either Ferrari driver. You and Charles had both struggled, through no fault of your own, during the race. The strategy was shit and the car struggled on track.
"You're okay, Beastie," your handler said, combing her fingers through your hair. "You can stop now. You can breathe."
She was trying to calm you down, Charles realised as he watched you.
Beastie. What an awful nickname, simply awful. Charles watched as your handler handed you earbuds. Your hands shook as you placed them into your ears, a whimper leaving your lips.
Beastie. You weren't a beast. Charles could see it, and he was sure that everybody else could see it, too. You weren't a beast; you just wanted to be free.
He strode across the garage, strode over to you. "What're you listening to?" He asked, his voice soft.
A whimper left your lips and you clawed at your shock collar. "Woah, woah," he whispered and grabbed a hold of your hands, stopping you from hurting yourself. "You're okay, Birdy."
Birdy. Charles wasn't very sure where it came from, but it felt right. It suited you. Birdy. You just wanted to be free. Free as a bird. Another noise left your lips, one that Charles was unable to place. "Wanna tell me what you're listening to?" He asked and pushed your hair out of your face.
You wouldn't answer. Charles knew this, he wasn't expect you to open your mouth to answer, but to somehow communicate it to him. Maybe pull your earbud from your ear and offer it too him instead.
Your handler stepped forward. "She discovered your music last night," she said and nodded to Charles. "She finds it's calming, so I thought it might help take her out of 'Race Space'."
"Race Space?"
Race Space. The headspace you went into as soon as you were in the car. It left you acting on instinct, going for every gap and having no self preservation. It would have been terrifying to watch, if you had anybody that cared about you."
"She likes my music?" Charles couldn't stop himself from answering as he looked at you. You liked his music. At that very moment, you were listening to his music. "Birdy," he whispered, unable to stop himself from grinning.
Charles couldn't help but think about it for the next few hours. As he flew back to Monaco, sharing a jet with Pierre. Maybe one day you could share a jet with them, too. But you weren't in the position for a private jet yet. Once you were a proper driver, no longer driving in the place of an injured Carlos, Charles would take you everywhere in his private yet, he decided.
And then you'd be flying. As free as a bird.
"You're attached," Max said as he watched Charles.
Sitting at the piano, Charles couldn't stop himself from thinking about you. He pressed a couple of the keys, no song really coming from it. "I am," he confirmed, giving a small nod. "I really am, Max."
Max released a sigh as he walked over. He slipped onto the bench beside Charles and wrapped his arms around him. "What're we gonna do about it?" He asked.
"I don't know, Max," Charles answered through a sigh. "I really don't know."
***
Home. A small room with several locks on the door to keep people safe from you. Locked in, Charles's music playing on a loop. This was better, you knew. You locked away from the rest of the world.
Birdy.
You had been a beast for so long that Birdy felt weird. Weird, but not exactly wrong. Birdy, because you wanted to fly away and be free. Birdy was fitting, you realised.
Birdy.
You liked it. Really liked it. Far better than Beasty. A beast was what you had been turned into, not what you wanted to be. You were never supposed to be a beast and you no longer wanted to be one.
Birdy.
The music stopped and you released a whimper. Tapping at the iPod screen, you got the music playing again, the piano filling the room. Your eyes closed as you laid back on your bed, holding your pillow against your chest.
Charles was nice. He was real nice, in a way nobody but your handler had been before. Why had you tried to bite him? Why had you acted out like that? But, still, he was sweet to you. Sweet, even after you had attempted to attack him.
You wouldn't, not again. You wouldn't attack the next time he was nice to you. It was easy to picture it in your mind, your muzzle removed as you hugged Charles, nuzzling yourself against his chest. But you were looking at it through rose coloured glasses.
It wouldn't be as simple as not attacking and you knew that. The reaction was involuntary: You couldn't help it. Couldn't stop yourself from lashing out and trying to hurt him.
"Birdy," you whispered to yourself and started his music again. "Birdy. Birdy. Birdy."
You couldn't wait for the next race weekend.
You didn't have to wait long, just a week. That week you spent training, in the gym, listening to your trainer like an obedient dog. When she said run, you ran. When she said lift, you lifted.
There was just one reason why you didn't like the gym. It allowed you to let out your aggression in a way that stopped anybody from getting hurt. But the collar around your neck and the muzzle attached to your face made the gym uncomfortable, skin beneath them prickling.
On the Tuesday, you flew to Miami. You were sedated for the entirety of the flight. It didn't take away your fear, just stopped you from acting on it.
You woke up in the taxi on your way to the hotel. How disorienting it was, to suddenly regain conscious in a different part of the world, so similar to your home, yet somehow different.
You panicked. Not enough to hurt anybody in the car with you. But your nails dug into your palms, pressing deep enough to draw blood.
"Enough of that, Beasty," your handler commented and patted your knee. Maybe she was trying to give you comfort. Whatever it was, it didn't help.
She got you into the hotel, her grip on your sleeve acting as a leash. As soon as she had your key (she always kept your room key. It was almost a threat: If you left you couldn't get back in), she led you to the stairs.
No lifts, you were too feral for that. They were too much like cages, and you didn't do cages.
“Rest, little Beast,” she said as you placed your bags in your room. Rest. You've done enough resting already. You didn't need anymore rest. “I'll come get you in the morning.”
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ecoamerica · 2 months ago
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zegrasdrysdale · 6 months ago
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[ get you home ] m. rempe
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pairing : Matt Rempe x fem!reader
summary : Matt makes sure his best friend gets home safe after going out with him and a few of the Rangers after a win, but his plans change when she tells him how she feels about him
warning(s) : alcohol use and drunkenness, a heavy makeout, some suggestive comments
author’s note : got drunk so i started to write a fic and finished it while sober lol :))
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One of the things she loves about going out with Matt is the fact that he deters every guy from approaching her. Everyone views him as this scary guy because he’s a six-foot-seven hockey player but in reality, he’s probably the sweetest guy she’s ever met.
It works to her advantage though since she only ever wants to talk to him when she goes out with him.
Tonight in particular, she wants to stay glued to his side. He scored a goal in his playoff debut and all she wants to do is celebrate. She doesn’t want her attention to be pulled away from Matt.
The Rangers found a booth in a dark corner of the club they came to after game one against Washington and started buying drinks and shots for Matt after his goal that started this season’s playoff run.
She took so many shots with Matt when they first got to the club and kind of regrets it. She wanted to at least be coherent and remember her words when she tells Matt that she’s in love with him.
Tonight might not be the night to tell him though. She doesn't want him to think she's telling him because she's drunk or because he scored a goal.
Plus, she wants to be able to remember telling him and she isn't sure that's possible right now because of the amount of drinks and shots she's had. Tonight shouldn't be the night she tells her best friend that she's in love with him.
Once Trouba decides to leave, a bunch of the Rangers decide to follow him out the door. Once the captain leaves, that usually means whatever is going on is officially over. A lot of the older guys leave, but most of the younger guys like Matt and Braden stay for a little bit longer.
There are about three more rounds of shots before everyone else calls it a night. She stumbles out of the club holding onto Matt's arm so she doesn't fall on the sidewalk in her heels. She leans against his chest while he orders them an Uber to her apartment.
"Mm," she hums. "Comfy wall."
Matt laughs and wraps an arm around her shoulders to keep her stable. "You're so drunk," he comments. "How much have you had to drink?"
"A little less than you," she replies. "I think. How are you not stumbling after everything you've had today?"
He tucks his phone into the pocket of the pants he's wearing. "I'm a foot taller than you and over a hundred pounds heavier than you," he laughs. "Not to mention I have a faster metabolism and can handle my liquor. It's not my fault you're so short."
She looks up at him. "Hey, five-foot-six is not short," she retorts. "You're just freaking tall ." Matt laughs. "Out here having fucking trees for legs like God damn, Matt."
A car pulls up in front of them and Matt helps her get in the car. "Me and my tree legs are trying to get you home safely," he tells her. "You better be nice to me or I'm gonna leave you to get to your apartment by yourself."
"You'd never do that to me," she giggles. "You like me too much."
Matt slides into the car next to her and she immediately moves as close as she can to him. She rests her head on his shoulder before she shuts her eyes. Being drunk and being in a car is not the best combination. She'll gladly use Matt's shoulder as a pillow until they get to her apartment building. They're a good fifteen minutes away so she has time.
The Uber driver realizes who got into the backseat of his car so he and Matt talk about the game. The driver mentions Matt's goal and says what an amazing goal it was. She doesn't say anything but she agrees a thousand percent.
His goal was a beauty. It's something that he'll never forget for sure. She'll never forget celebrating it when it happened. Hearing his name announced during the next play will be something she'll remember hearing forever.
She listens to the conversation and smiles while they talk about the game. She doesn't chime in because she's afraid to open her eyes. The last thing she wants to do is throw up in an Uber.
About fifteen minutes later, the Uber pulls up to her apartment. The driver wishes Matt luck during the rest of the playoffs as he helps her out of the car. She thanks him as Matt shuts the door. Matt wraps an arm around her and helps her into the building.
As she walks through the lobby, she stumbles and loses her balance. With a groan, she slides out of Matt's grip and lands on the floor to pull off he heeled boots that she's wearing. "Stupid shoes," she says to herself. Matt laughs and holds a hand out to help her up when she is ready to stand back up.
"Why did you even wear heels to the game?" he asks as he pulls her up from the ground. "I mean, it's a hockey game."
"I wanted to look nice and dress up the jersey," she replies. Matt lent her his Stadium Series jersey. She might have to wear it for every game now since he scored a goal while she was wearing it. "Sorry I wanted to look nice. Good thing too since we went out afterwards."
It's easier for her to walk now that her feet are flat on the ground. She carries the shoes onto the elevator, where she leans against the wall for support.
"Are you still super drunk?" Matt asks. "I'm asking because I need to know if you'll be okay if I leave."
"We'll see," she mumbles as she drops her head to her left to look at him. "Can you stay anyway? Just in case?"
He nods and smiles as the elevator dings and the doors open.
She stumbles down the hallway to her apartment, dropping one of the shoes in the process. Matt picks it up and she uses her key to unlock the door. Somehow, she gets the door open, but she stumbles inside. Matt quickly wraps an arm around her waist before she can go crashing down to the floor.
The door closes behind them and she looks up at him. "Thanks," she says.
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna stay," he comments. "You just fell into your apartment." She giggles and stands back up. Matt wraps an arm around her shoulders. "Come on. Do you want to shower or anything before you go to bed? Want a snack? You're going to drink at least one glass of water before going to bed."
She looks up at him and says, "I should probably shower since I got a drink spilled on my pants." That was Cuylle's fault and she wasn't very happy that she smelled like beer for the rest of the time they were at the club.
"I'll get him to apologize for that tomorrow when he's sober," Matt tells her. "For now though, bath or shower? Think you can shower?"
"I think I can shower," she replies. "A cold one might sober me up a bit. Some of the clothes that you've left here are all in a drawer if you want to pull something together, or I can give you this jersey since it's technically yours."
Matt smiles and shakes his head. "That jersey is yours now," he says. "I'll find something. Go shower the beer smell away."
She sticks her tongue out at him and stumbles her way to her room. She pulls out a large t-shirt and a pair of slightly too small Lululemon shorts to sleep in before walking into the bathroom for her shower.
The water is ice cold in hopes that it sobers her up enough for the conversation that's going to happen after her shower. She wants to make sure she remembers the entire conversation and whatever she says to Matt. She wants to remember his reaction and what he tells her when she tells him about her feelings.
It's going to go really well or really bad. She has no idea how it's going to go. He may just tell her that it's bad timing since the playoffs just started, or he'll fully embrace it. Maybe he'll tell her that he feels the same.
The unknown is what scares her.
After a short and sweet shower where she only washes her hair and body, she hops out and dries off. She shivers from how cold it was and dresses quickly.
When she walks out of the bathroom with her wet hair French braided down her back, she finds Matt laying on his back on her bed on his phone. He's typing away, probably replying to people that he didn't get to yet about his goal or the win. He's wearing a pair of sweatpants and one of his Rangers hockey shirts that he found in the drawer.
Matt notices her standing in the doorway between the bedroom and her bathroom. "There's a glass of water on your table," he tells her. "I left some Advil for you too for the morning."
Just rip off the bandaid. It's time to get this over with.
"I have something I want to say first in case it chases you off," she tells him. "I don't know what your reaction is going to be when I say this but ... I love you."
"I love you too."
"No, Matt," she sighs. "I'm in love with you. I have been for months, maybe close to a year at this point. I know my timing isn't the best but I couldn't not tell you anymore. I'm not saying this because you scored a goal or because you won a playoff game or because I'm still slightly drunk but I am genuinely in love with you."
He stares at her while she talks, but as soon as she's done saying what she has to say, Matt gets up out of bed and walks up to her. "I knew what you meant," he comments. "I've been waiting for you to say something to me before I did this."
"Do wha-"
Before she can finish her question, Matt gently cups her jaw and leans down to press a light kiss to her lips. It's so light that she feels like he's just testing the waters.
It barely feels like a kiss when he pulls back.
She takes a step closer to him and looks up at him. "Can you please kiss me like you mean it?" she questions.
"Gladly."
He crashes their lips together in a more definitive kiss that makes her heart beat out of her chest. She presses herself against him and fists his t-shirt in her hand to hold him close to her. Matt's thumbs trace her cheekbones and she sighs. He takes full advantage and licks past her parted lips.
She presses her hands against his torso and pushes him toward the bed. She has to tilt her head up to kiss him and it's starting to hurt her neck. So she pushes him down until he falls back and is sitting on the mattress. She crawls onto his lap so they're at a more even level.
This isn't the reaction that she was expecting. Maybe Matt saying that he loves her too or some cuddles. She thought that kisses would wait until morning when they're both completely sober.
That being said, this is what she thought their first kiss would look like. Rough, needy. She kisses him like she craves him, and he kisses her back like he's been holding back. She's seen Matt kiss former girlfriends before and studied the way his lips move, but experiencing it is something completely different.
Her heart is in her stomach and her body shakes with anticipation. She truly cannot believe that this is happening right now.
She slides her hands down his chest and stomach then slithers her fingers up under his shirt. Matt hums and pulls back from the needy kiss. “Clothes are staying on until we’re both sober,” he tells her. She nods but is very distracted by how red and swollen his lips are.
All because of her.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t touch,” she replies. “I’ll be good. I promise.”
Matt sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and looks her up and down in his lap. She reaches up with one of her hands and touches one of the scars on his cheek. He turns his head and presses a kiss to her wrist.
He trails kisses up her forearm and she smiles as he pulls her flush against his chest. She wraps her arms around his neck and Matt flips them so he’s pinning her down against the mattress.
She smiles and looks up at him. “You do know that I love you too, right?” Matt asks. “I mean, I knew what you meant when you told me that you love me. The timing couldn’t have been any better because I thought I was going to genuinely lose my mind if I held back from you any longer.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” Matt replies. “I love you. I think I’ve loved you for literally ever. I probably realized it in February when you were in the crowd for my NHL debut. Seeing you in that jersey tonight, oh my God. I thought I was going to actually lose it at the club.”
She smiles and grabs the bottom of his shirt. She fists the fabric and holds him close. “You could’ve made a move whenever you wanted and I probably would’ve been okay with it,” she admits. “I hated seeing you with random girls or old girlfriends. They never wanted you like I do.”
“I know,” he says. “I think I see that now. I’ve had a few girlfriends, but none of them have stuck around like you have.”
“By your side always,” she promises.
Matt leans down and kisses her again. The kiss almost feels like her sealing the promise.
Because she’ll never leave his side. Ever.
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erwinsvow · 7 months ago
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what if… rafe ever hit shy reader from built up anger like more of an accident? we lowk need some rafe and shy reader angst😢
this kind of slayed me.. i feel like disclosure i do not condone abuse of any sort i just think shy reader would like getting slapped around and being really roughhoused..
but if rafe reallyyy got mad about it, it might be angsty. like if she really messed up and was apologizing a ton if he actually was mad at her her heart would stop. warning rafe is rlly mean in this
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being a little whiney, a little too needy and maybe excessively touchy came easily to you as rafe's girlfriend. he was always coaxing you into being more comfortable with him, and you think you'd finally reached that point.
some of your shyer tendencies seemed to have finally abandoned you when it was just the two of you. and just like you had guessed, a smaller, more possessive side of you had recently emerged from the cocoon—wanting all of rafe's attention, all the time.
it wasn't good, maybe a small part of you knew that, but it was easy to play into it, and you liked how you felt these days, more comfortable in your skin and around rafe than you had been even just a month ago.
like today. you had been a little needy all day, not wanting rafe to leave when he said he needed to go to barry's for picking something up.
"ple-ease rafe," you said it a little singsongy, serious but not that serious. "don't go. i want you to stay." it was more just wanting to hang out with him than anything else—when he left, he was usually gone for ages, and things weren't that fun without him.
"i'll be back, kid. jus' stay here, got it?"
"but you said you would-"
"kid." the way he says it, you should have realized he wasn't in the mood for you to be behaving like this.
"yesterday you said you were free all day. and i get bored-"
"yesterday i didn't know i was doin' this shit. just, please. sit tight. i'll be back."
rafe goes, and though a part of you knows you shouldn't, you blow up his phone throughout the day. really, you're not even that bored—showering and getting ready for the day and then curling up with your book after you make rafe's bed, but you played a little too far into it.
when he comes back, you should have realized something was off—but you let everything else cloud your judgement. the way rafe is never mean to you (despite the stories you had heard), how he always reassures you that he's not mad and that you didn't do anything wrong. you were led to a false belief that nothing you could do would change how rafe acts towards you.
rafe comes to sit on the bed near your feet, and you lower your book to look at him, but don't say anything. when he turns to look at you, you bring the book back up so it looks like you weren't peeking.
"c'mon. y'mad now?"
"no."
"kid, i don't have time for this-"
"you didn't answer any of my texts! or calls. and i've just been waiting here all day-" you don't know what you want—attention, quality time, an apology. you just want something other than what you're getting.
"i told you i'd be back. had shit to take care of-"
"well, i just-"
"why're you actin' like this? huh?"
you think rafe's gonna ask you the things he always does—what's wrong? did someone say something? do i need go have a talk with 'em?
but he doesn't this time.
"spoiled your ass too much and now you wanna talk back? is that it?" you're so taken aback, you think all the air has left your lungs. did rafe really think that? he stands up, so you do too, facing rafe while he paces.
"no, i just-" you're being defensive, like always. you feel like crying—you thought rafe knew you better than that, but it's also not his fault. maybe you were acting too spoiled after all, and maybe despite what he always says, he preferred you how you were when you first started dating him.
"you think m'goin out there to paint nails and gossip with barry? we had shit to do. real shit, so i can take care of you. i thought you understood that."
when you start crying, you think rafe will stop—he always does, stopping to apologize and make sure you're okay.
"tears. great. i'm tryna explain this to you. are you gonna cry everytime i get serious? huh?" it comes out a little more like a bark than a sentence—now you're scared.
"i-i'm sorry," you get out, though it's strangled in a sob and sounds more like a whisper. you don't think he heard you, but your feelings are so hurt—the rush from thinking rafe would be happy to be back home with you crashing and burning quickly, the pit in your stomach that doesn't blame him—but rather blames yourself for your behavior.
you had gotten too comfortable, too pampered, thinking that acting like this was okay—briefly you think it's not rafe's fault at all for getting mad, that it's your own fault for this happening.
you think it's best if you leave, dejectedly heading towards the door, but the second he catches you trying to walk away, he rushes over, pushing you against the door before you can even open it. your back thuds against the frame.
"rafe, you're hurting me-" you cry out, but he seems to be lost in his own anger. "please-"
"didn't say you can leave. what the hell are you doin'? you tryin' to make me mad? huh?"
"rafe, m'sorry, i-"
"actin' like this 'cause you wanna get slapped around? is that it? y'like that too much, don't you? you want me to slap you around now?"
your heart feels like it's just stopped beating. the very idea that rafe would bring up something you had just gotten comfortable with liking, only recently convinced yourself—with his help—that it wasn't wrong or dirty to like those kinds of things with him—slapping and spanking and a whole host of other things you had never even talked about, much less actually done, with anyone other than rafe, in this situation, made fat tears slip down your cheeks.
your boyfriend didn't seem like himself right now. and you were so distraught, if you were a little more clear-headed you might realize his bloodshot, dilated eyes and shaky hands. your arm hurts from where he's holding you tightly.
"rafe, please-" you get out through tears, and he lets you go a little. you slide out of his grip and stay against the door, still crying. before you can even think about it, your cheek is stinging.
he does slap you—not in the light, playful way he does when it's just the two of you somewhere or in the slightly rougher manner reserved for bed—this one is harder, everything hurting.
after it happens, you look up at rafe through glassy eyes. your fingers go to your cheek, pressing down where it was painful, like it would help it go away. but you knew deep down nothing could ever erase this memory.
you look up at rafe and he looks down at you. when you try to turn to open the door, he presses down and slams it shut before you can get out.
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eunoia-writes · 11 months ago
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Knight In shining armour • Felix Catton x Reader
Request - MAKE A FIC WHERE FELIX IS COMFORTING READER AFTER SHE’S HOSPITALIZED CAUSE SHE DRANK THE LACED CHAMPAGNE BUT DIDNT DIE JUST GOT REALLY SICK PLEASE PLEASE!!!🫶🏻
Warnings - 18+ Smut, Oral (M&F receiving, PinV, Oliver being a creep, Drugging
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When y/n awoke without Felix next to her it wasn’t out of the ordinary. Felix typically got up before her to go in hai morning
“Morning Darling.” Elspeth said as y/n approached at the table adorned In Felix’s jumper and her usual bed shorts
“Good morning.” She said with a smile while Duncan brought out her usual of scrambled eggs while she made her way to the breakfast bar grabbing her usual multiple spoons of fruit and few slices of toast.
“Felix and Oliver have headed out of the day so I thought you might like to accompany me and Venetia into town to get costumes for the party tomorrow.” Elspeth said taking a sip of her coffee her eyes not leaving y/n as she walked back to the table
“I’d love to.” Y/n said taking a sip of her orange juice “it’s been far too long since the three of us did anything without Felix.” She added while Venetia laughed
“It would be nice to see you without my brother attached to your hip for once.” Y/n blushed slightly, everyone adored how inseparable the couple were especially Elspeth, she loved seeing how smitten her son was, the way he doted on his girlfriend she just adorned how in love he was.
“Don’t listen to her you two are just darling together.” Elspeth said making y/n smile as she finished up her breakfast before rushing off to get ready for the day.
After hours of walking around the streets of London the three girls got back to saltburn. Y/n walked into Felix room to see him sat on the bed as she carried in multiple bags
“Oh Fi I got us the best costumes for tomorrow you’re going to love it honestly.” She began before she realised something was right
“Darling, what’s wrong?” Y/n put the bags down walking over to him as he looked up at her with tears in his eyes “oh my pretty boy, whatever’s the matter.” Felix took a deep breath as he pulled y/n into his lap
“Ollie lied… about everything.” Felix whispered as her hands came to his face wiping his tears away “I mean everything baby, the stuff with his parents… his dad is alive.” The last four words felt like a bullet In her chest.
“Oh.” Was all she said and Felix knew how hurt she was just from that. Y/n had bonded with Ollie over the loss after she lost her dad a few months prior. She didn’t want to believe that someone could be so cruel.
“I’m so sorry pretty girl.” Felix said as tears rolled down her cheeks
“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.” She asked her bottom lip quivering it was taking everything in her not to breakdown sobbing
“I brought him into our lives… I should have known.” Y/n shook her head before kissing him softly
“It’s not your fault.. how were you to know” She mumbled into the kiss before pulling away. She wiped the few stray tears that feel onto his cheeks away before standing back up and clearing her throat.
“Now back to those costumes.”
“God baby, you look so fucking hot.” Felix said as y/n came out of the bathroom in her costume. The same gold wings in his back adorned her. The bra, skirt and matching wings combo leaving very little to the imagination. the pair dressed as a Greek god and Goddess which Felix would argue she is regardless of the costume.
“You’re the sweetest.” Y/n leaned up to kiss Felix who’s hands instantly began to roam her body “Fi as much as I would love to stay in your room all night you mother will kiss us if we don’t show after all the effort she’s put into this.”
“Don’t really feel like celebrating.” Felix said his hands on her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck
“I know baby, I’ll make you a deal well go down there and show our faces for a while, have a few drinks and then I’ll finally let you show me round that maze yeah?” She suggested with an innocent smile on her face but the suggestion was far from innocent
“Get moving then pretty girl.” He said wasting no more time making sure to slap her arse as they walked out of his bedroom and down to where the party had already began
“Wow don’t you look hot.” Venetia said as y/n and Felix walked over to her hand in hand the music was already thumping as Elspeth walked over handing the pair a glass of champagne each making sure to tell them how cute there matching costumes are.
“Our dear cousin is out back with something to make this party a little more fun for us.” Venetia said watching the way Felix eyes lit up as he pressed a kiss to his girlfriend’s temple before hurrying off.
The pair had managed to avoid Ollie so far that evening while drinking their way through bottle after bottle of whatever they could get their hands on. Felix had hardly taken his hands off her the whole evening when she suggest a late night stroll, although he knew what she was really suggesting.
The couple made their way outside into the cool summers air, the alcohol in their veins doing more than enough to keep them warm.
“You know the way right baby?” Y/n asked as they neared the entrance of the entirely pitch black maze while Felix had stopped to plant sloppy kisses all over her neck mumbling for her not to worry as she ran her hands through his hair.
Felix took the lead their laughter echoing against the labyrinthine walls, stumbled forward, hand in hand. The scent of blooming flowers lingered in the air as they weaved through the twists and turns, their steps becoming a delightful dance of tipsy synchronicity. Every few steps, he paused, their laughter bubbling over into kisses that tasted of desperation mixed with booze.
“My feet hurt.” Y/n mumbled into the kiss as she kicked off her shoes making her even smaller than her boyfriend who always towered over her.
“Not much longer pretty.” Felix said interlocking there hands once again as they continued into the darkness. The maze, a playground for their intoxicated affection, led them to its heart, where, surrounded by the fragrant maze walls, they shared a final, lingering kiss.
“Wow s’lot bigger than I imagined.” Y/n joked looking up at the statue in the center that towered over the pair of them
“The only thing you should be sayings big is me.” He joked as she rolled her eyes in the moonlight cocking her head to the side as she pulled him closer by the buckle of his belt
“Pretty heard to say that when I’ve got my mouth full.” She teased as she dropped to her knees staring up at him while she fumbled with his belt
“God pretty girl you’re killing me.” And just as he was about to have his way with her a loud snap came from a few yard away
“What was that.” She stopped in place much to his dismay
“S’nothibg baby.” Felix’s hands made there way into her hair as she looked up at him pouting slightly but ultimately brushing it off as she continued undoing his belt and pulling his jeans and underwear down just enough to pull him out of his underwear
Y/n wrapped both of her hands around the bottle of his length her eyes never leaving his as she kitten licked the tip. Felix let out a shaky breath making him tremble in his spot gripping her hair tighter. Her tongue swirled around his tip before she took him into her mouth her head bobbing up and done and she took more for him each time.
“Fuck just like that.” Felix groaned as her throat tightened around him as she gagged slightly briefly coming up for air before wrapping her mouth around him again she moaned around him as he let our a rather loud moan
“Such a good girl.” He groaned which only encouraged her she kept up her exact pace feeling him tense in her throat.
“Fuck I’m gonna cum.” He said mere seconds before he finished in her mouth with a groan watching as she swallowed him and licked up any mess. Flashing an innocent smile just to top it off.
“God what are you doing to me y/n.” Felix waisted no time tucking himself back into his boxers as he scooped her up placing her on the base of the statue wasting no time attacking there lips as he stood between her thighs his lips trailed down to her neck she let out a soft wine as he found her sweet spot
“Up.” He mumbled into her neck telling her lift her ass up so he could pull her underwear down shoving them into his back pocket while he continued sucking marks on her neck.
He left a trail of open mouthed kisses down her chest to right were she needed him the most before pressing a kissed against her clothed heat “please.” she moaned he smirked looking up at her once more as if he was asking permission
“Fi.” She wined once more before he blew hot air over her swollen clit before diving in. his tongue traced her folds before he lapped at her clit. Y/n’s back arched, electricity bolting through her nerves. Her hands flew to tug at his hair as he lapped at her clit feverishly so Desperate to taste her. He caught her off guard slipping a digit into her, groaned into her when your legs locked around his head, securing him in place. Not that he needed it. He’d stay here forever if she’d let him.
“Please Fi .” She moaned his fingers pumped in and out of her while his tongue made work on her clit. her thighs tremble and eyes roll back into her head. One hand grip the Stone she was sat on her knuckles white, while the other tugged at his locks. The pressure in her abdomen built but so does something else, something deeper at the same time. Felix took note pulling away
“you taste just Devine pretty thing, but not so fast I’m not finished with you yet.” He said as she whimpered at the loss of contact.
She watched as he pulled himself out of his boxers leaning down it kiss her again before he lined himself up with her entrance before he sank into her both of them gasping at the feeling. 
“fuck, you feel so good,” he moaned. She was appreciative of his slow thrusts her constant wines were evident of that.
Y/n’s legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer as his hips rocked back and forth
“Faster.” She groaned in his ear as she clenched around him. His free hand moving to wrap around her throat squeezing slightly as his hips moved faster.
Y/n opened her eyes for a few seconds spotting someone in the distance. She let out a gasp pushing Felix off her as she attempted to cover herself
“Ollie what the fuck!” She said as she realised who had been watching them. Felix fumbled to cover himself up before protectively standing in front of y/n.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Ollie.” He said while y/n grabbed into his arm
“We need to talk.” Ollie slurred as he made his was over to the couple. Y/n climbed down off the statue staying hid behind her boyfriend
“You’re a fucking liar Ollie.” Felix said as Ollie got closer and closer
“How could you Ollie, after I confided in you.” Y/n said snatching the bottle of champagne out of his hand chugging most of what was left
“I know I’m so sorry y/n… I really am.” He said but she just shook her head and walked away from the pair cradling the bottle as she wobbled while she listened to Felix and Ollie argue
“You need to leave Ollie.” Felix said his eyes flickering to y/n was was now slightly hunched over
“You’re still my friend? We’ll all still be friends right?” Felix didn’t give him an answer before he rushed over to y/n which Ollie took as his que to leave
“Felix.” She said as she started to go dizzy. Y/n reached out for him while he grabbed onto her
“I don’t feel good.” She whispered before her legs gave way. Alarmed, Felix scooped her up in his arms, concern etching his face.
“Stay with me, baby.” Y/n mumbled something drowsy, her eyes struggling to stay open. Felix, with a sense of urgency, began navigating the maze's twists and turns running as fast as he could carry her
“No baby keep your eyes open.” He said as he held her head up with one hand. As he neared the house he spotted Elspeth seeing a group of her friends off by there cars
“Mum!” He yelled out catching her attention, noticing the distress, she rushed over, her face turning from joyous to concerned.
“I don’t know what happened, no baby keep your eyes open for me.” Felix said once again noticing the way she was struggling to stay conscious “y/n, look at me.” He said as Elspeth rushed them towards the car calling out of Duncan.
Felix sat y/n in the back seat sliding in next to her while his mother told him she’d get the rest of the family before telling Duncan to drive to the hospital as fast as he possibly could while she climbed into the passenger seat.”
“M’tired.” Y/n mumbled incoherently as she fell limp into Felix said
“I know baby, I know but you’ve gotta Stay awake for me.” Felix’s heart was in his throat he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
“Felix, what happen? Did she take something?” Elspeth asked Felix had never shook his head so quickly
“No mum, she would never. she was fine a few minutes ago.” He said the panic in his voice evident he head tears in his eyes as y/n kept mumbling nonsense to him.
“Love you Fi” He heard her say before she fell unconscious
“Drive fucking faster!” He yelled hitting the back of the seat as he tried to shake her awake but it wasn’t working
“Calm down Felix we’re almost there.” Elspeth said in reality she was also just as panicked. She loved y/n like her own she couldn’t bare the thought of something happening to her.
“I can’t fucking calm down!” He yelled and as soon as they turned into the hospital Felix wasted no time rushing her inside begging for help. Multiple doctors came rushing over taking him from her arms discussing things amongst themselves.
Felix stood frozen in the middle of the room, the weight of fear anchoring him to the spot. The harsh light overhead accentuated the pallor of his face as doctors fired questions about what happened with his collapsed girlfriend. His voice caught in his throat, and his limbs felt like lead, rendering him incapable of articulating the events that led to this moment. The fear consumed him, the uncertainty of y/n’s well-being tightening its grip. Just when the anxiety threatened to suffocate him, the hospital door opens and Elspeth entered, a comforting presence amidst the clinical sterility. Her eyes met Felix's, conveying a silent reassurance that he wasn't alone in this ordeal. In that shared gaze, a glimmer of strength returned to Felix, grounding him in the support of his mother amid the overwhelming uncertainties of the hospital room.
Elspeth took over the questioning answering every question she possibly could as a nurse took Felix into the waiting room where he sank into one of the chairs terrified for y/n’s life. A few minutes later Venetia, his dad and Farleigh came rushing into the room. No one said a word.
Venetia took a seat next to her brother taking his hand in hers trying to offer him some sort of comfort in the horrific moment. The reality of the situation had completely sobered him up the adrenaline of the alcohol wearing off.
“Felix, darling have some water.” Elspeth said handing Felix a plastic cup that she had filled with the water sat off to the side of them. His hands shook as he took a sip of the water finally speaking up for the first time since he’d let the doctors take y/n from his arm.
“I won’t be able to live if something happens to her.” It was almost a whisper but everyone heard it
“She’s going to be okay.” Farleigh not only told Felix but also himself and everyone in the room for that matter all of them having the same sinking feeling.
“But what if it’s not.”
In the hush of the hospital waiting room, Felix ensnared in a web of anxiety, perched on the edge of a hard plastic chair. His knees are caught in a restless rhythm, an involuntary dance fueled by the uncertainty of y/n’s condition. The minutes stretch like elastic as he nervously glances at the clock, each tick amplifying the echo of his worries.
Unable to contain the nervous energy, Felix succumbs to the urge to pace back and forth across the linoleum floor. His steps are uneven, a physical manifestation of the emotional turbulence swirling within. The harsh fluorescent lights cast shadows that play on his strained expression, the weight of concern etched across his face.
Meanwhile, His family huddles nearby, attempting to offer solace in whispered words and gentle touches. Their eyes mirror his apprehension, but they muster comforting smiles and attempts at casual conversation, striving to create a shield against the suffocating atmosphere of the waiting room.
The air is thick with anticipation, each passing second an agonizing reminder of the unknown. Felix, caught between the pull of hope and the gravity of fear, finds solace neither in the uncomfortable chair nor the sterile surroundings. All that matters is the impending news about y/n’s well-being, an answer that lingers just out of reach, teasing the frayed edges of his nerves. What felt like an eternity later a doctor came into the room everyone’s attention on them
“I’m Doctor Robinson I’m y/n’s doctor Today.” The woman started but before she could get another word out Felix croaked
“Is she okay?”
“Y/n is doing better than we could have hoped for her case, you did the right thing getting her here when you did. Her toxicology came back and it looks like she ingested a lethal amount of benzodiazepines which we believe after conversation with Elspeth to be as a result of spiking in something she will have drank at the party this evening.” The doctor explained everyone felt a weight lifted off there shoulders as they said she was doing better
“Can I see her?” Felix asked
“She’s not awake yet, however you are more than welcome to sit at her bedside until she does wake up.” Felix shoot up out of his seat almost instantly the others silently agreeing to let him go alone as he followed the doctor to her room.
Felix heart broke as soon as he walked into the room seeing y/n laying there with multiple IVs stuck in her arm. He chocked back his tears as he made his way to sit next to her taking his hand in hers.
At what felt like only moments later as if she was awoke by his presence she was finally conscious again. Felix kiss the back of her hand as he thanked god for keeping her safe
“Hey pretty.” He whispered softly as a few tears rolled down his cheeks she smiled softly at him squeezing his hand
“Hi.” She croaked out her eyes half open. Her entire body ached as she reached out to wipe his tears away “Don’t cry Fi, I’m okay.”
“You scared me so much baby.” He said as more tears rolled down his cheeks
“god if you had - but I didn’t and I’m okay.” She said knowing where his train of thought was going. She shuffled herself to one side of the bed making room for Felix next to her as she patted the spot which he waisted no time climbing into
“Did they tell you what happen?” She asked as she got comfortable on his chest as Felix petted her head. Felix let out a sigh not sure how to approach the topic.
“The doctors said you had a lot of benzodiazepines in your system.” Felix started and he felt her tense up
“What- I don’t do that kinda thing… I’d never.” She said as tears rolled down her cheeks
“I know baby I know, mum knows that too everyone knows you’re not like that.” He whispered y/n had always made it gleaming obvious she didn’t like the idea of every taking drugs while she never judged those who did she couldn’t bare the thought of losing herself to drugs the way her father did.
“Then how?” She asked knowing exactly how but she needed him to say it
“The doctors think something you drank was spiked.” Felix said and her heart sank. Saltburn was supposed to be a space space where she didn’t have to worry about stuff like that. A place where nothing bad could possible happen.
“You don’t think…” she started and Felix knew exactly what she was hinting at. Ollie. The only thing she had drank that she hadn’t opened the bottle or poured herself was the champagne she snatched from his hands.
“I… I Really fucking hope not.” Felix whispered just as Elspeth and everyone knocked at the door wanting to check in y/n themselves
“Oh darling, I’m so glad You’re okay. You had us all worried sick.” Elspeth said rushing over to y/n’s bedside who gave her a weak smile
“Is there anything we can do or get you?” James said standing next to his wife placing a comforting hand on her shoulder
“I would really just like to go home.” Y/n said and just as Venetia was about yo say she’d go speak to the doctor Felix spoke up
“No, you can’t go home yet.” He began looking down at her “you need to stay here and get better.”
“Fels, I’m okay I just need to rest.” y/n said just as her doctor walked into the room
“Ah y/n, glad to see you’re awake.” She began as she picked up her chart from the end of the bed “I’m sure Felix here told you, we found a lethal amount of benzodiazepines in your system which is what caused you to lose consciousness. If it wasn’t for your lovely family getting you here when they did we’d be looking at a very different outcome.” Y/n squeezed Felix’s hand softly nodding to what the doctor was telling her.
“For now I suggest you go home and rest up take it easy for a few day, which I’m sure everyone in this room will see too that you do and make sure you’re drinking plenty of fluids.” Y/n looked up at Felix while the doctor went to collect the discharge papers
“See baby, I told you I’m okay.” She said as he leaned down to kiss her softly
“I’m so glad you’re okay pretty.”
“Well Im lucky I have you, my knight in shining armour.”
1K notes · View notes
writingsbychlo · 1 year ago
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KNOW YOU LIKE I DO | tom riddle
summary; love letters are tom's way of communicating. unfortunately, he's not as good with his actions.
word count; 7036
notes; another one that I said was gonna be short and it wasn’t. I think I’m physically incapable of writing short fics, actually.
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Dear Tom,
Tommy. 
My Tom. 
Do you still have that first letter I wrote to you, back in summer? No, I suppose you don’t, that’s not very like you. 
I’m drunk. Just a little bit (a lot), and I can’t take it anymore. Mattheo told me to tell you how I feel, and that is exactly what I’m going to do. He’s asleep on my bed right now, drooling into my favourite pillow waiting for me to write this. 
So here it is. 
I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m confused. I’m in love. And it’s all your fault.
Staring across the crowded room, your eyes fixed back onto that of Tom Riddle. It wasn’t hard to spot him, not as he was the only man who came to a Christmas party dressed in all black and sat alone, brooding. His lips were pressed into a line, the lights bouncing off of those shiny curls, green and red splashed across his pale skin as he sipped at his drink, listening to the conversation Draco and Blaise were having, but never participating. 
Your heart lurched a little in your chest, just the mere sight of him had a thousand different feelings rearing their heads, and you sighed to yourself. Shaking your head, your attention was redirected to the drinks table, pouring yourself an extra strong helping of Giggle Gin and topping it off. The urge to look back over was strong, and you steadfastly ignored it, suppressing the urge and instead, turning your back to his direction, walking towards the group of girls giggling in the opposite corner. 
Taking your seat back in the comfy corner of the sofa, Pansy offered you a smile, her arm looped over Luna’s shoulders as the blonde cuddled into her side. Astoria was currently recounting the intimate details of her latest night with Draco, and you hid a smile in your cup as you tuned back into the conversation. 
You lost the battle with your will, however, gaze moving directly back across the room to Tom. He had a slight smirk on his face now as he watched Draco speak, and you did not doubt that he was receiving a tale of the exact same encounter Astoria was currently telling, only from a different point of view. 
Blonde cut across your vision, the perfect smile of Daphne blocking your view as she sat in front of you, severing any sights of Tom you might have had. “You know,” She started, grinning as she took a sip of your drink cheekily, before handing it back. “If you stare at him any harder, you’re gonna’ drill holes in the side of his head.”
You could only scoff, but no argument formed. Lately, all you’d been able to do was stare longingly at him across any room. You weren’t subtle, and you’d never been much good at hiding your feelings. Which seemed fitting, since you’d fallen for someone who was like a blank slate, permanently. 
Tom Riddle was a harder book to read than a tablet written in a never-before-discovered language. 
“He looks so… miserable, Daph.”
She glances over her shoulder at him, snorting a laugh, and turning her attention back to you. “Because Tom Riddle doesn’t go to parties, and he’s probably counting the minutes until he can leave.” She smirked a little, shuffling closer, perched on the edge of her seat as she leaned in, “At least, he didn’t go to parties. Until you, that is.”
Your cheeks flushed, a subtle hint at the running joke your friendship group had taken on. They’d all become convinced that Tom attended parties for you, ever since he’d been a willing guest for the first time at Draco’s end-of-summer bonfire bash, and spent the majority of the night talking with you. They refused to let it go. 
“You should go over there and cheer him up. I bet he’d be smiling in no time if you gave him a little attention.”
That was exactly the problem. You’d been giving him a little too much attention, and now, everyone was painfully aware of your feelings for him. Except for him, maybe. Either that, or he was just very good at pretending he didn’t notice, in a chance to let you down gently. You didn’t know which option was worse. “Don’t be ridiculous, Daph.”
“No, you don’t be ridiculous! You and him are… something else.” She took your free hand in hers, squeezing tightly. All amusement melted from her face, and she gave you a serious look. The expression she wore when advising her sister on Draco, or comforting Pansy after a panic attack. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened over the summer, or are you just going to keep acting like it wasn’t some cataclysmic shift?”
“So dramatic.” You hummed to your roommate.
“Still pretending, I see.” She teases lightly, but her brows are still furrowed. She waited a few more seconds, to see if you’ll crack. All you do is hold her steady gaze, and take a sip of your drink. With a sigh, she released your hand, and leans back in her chair. “Well, whatever. We can all see it, see how you two pine for one another, and how perfect you’d be together. Just go and talk to him! He’s probably sat over there waiting for you anyway. He had that exact same kicked-puppy expression on at the summer party, until you walked in.”
“He did not…” You murmur, the very thought making you blush. 
“I think that’s the first time I ever saw Tom Riddle smile. A real smile, not the smile he gets when threatening someone, or when Mattheo falls over. A good smile.” 
“Now you’re just making him out like some kind of sulky villain.” You retort, and she only raises a brow at you.
“Here, take him this box, and go talk to him. The poor boy looks lost over there without you.” Reaching under her chair, Daphne produces a familiar box, wrapped neatly in black paper with dark green ribbon, and your jaw drops. 
“Daphne!—” Reaching out to snatch it from her, your brows furrow. “Did you go through my things?”
“I didn’t exactly go through your things,” She grins, watching you turn over the label with his name written on neatly. “I just watched you hide it under your bed and got curious… it smells good. Is it cookies? Can I have one?”
When she reaches for the box, you slap the back of her hand, and she sticks her tongue out at you in return. “No! You cannot, you little snoop!”
“Fine! If you won’t let me have a cookie, then you have to go over there. You either give me a cookie, or you give me the satisfaction of seeing you and him smile.” Her arms crossed, her tone annoyed but her words caring, and love shone in her gaze as she stared at you. “Go on. Go over to him. Please.”
It wasn’t like you didn’t already want to, and with her encouragement, you were a weak woman to say no. Downing the rest of your drink for a little liquid courage, you hop to your feet, present clutched in your hands.
Weaving through the room, the bass notes of Mattheo’s custom-made playlist pumped through the room from the speakers, a playlist you might have slightly altered a few days ago to add a couple of songs, just to mix up his usual tastes. Your stomach was twisting nervously, but the alcohol in your veins made for a pleasant buzz as the distance between you both closed. 
After almost taking a ping-pong ball to the eye, courtesy of Theo on the beer-pong table, you cleared the games and settled into the pleasant atmosphere surrounding where the boys had set themselves up for the evening by the fire. When you approached, Tom looked up, frown melting away as the crease between his brows disappeared, and he sat up a little straighter as you approached. 
“Hi, doll,” He murmured, shifting his arm from the armrest of the chair, so that you could take a seat on it instead. That same arm soon wrapped around your waist, his head falling to rest on your shoulder, and your heart skipped a beat within your chest. “Where’ve you been?”
“Over there, with Daph and the girls.” You whisper in reply, balancing the box on your thighs, and pointing through the crowds to the barely visible patch of chairs and sofas you’d all been occupying. He only hummed, squeezing you a little closer. 
“Stay here with me for a while?”
“Sure,” Your voice hardly worked as you spoke, emotions clogging up, and you reached for the gift in your lap. “I have this for you, anyway. I made you those cookies you like so much.”
“You did?” His head lifted, and one of those pretty smiles that made your heart stop clean in your chest was adorning his lips. “The ones with the orange peel and the dark chocolate?”
“Those very ones.” You handed it to him, and he tugged at the ribbon covering the box, fingers flipping under the seals of the paper until it fell openly neatly. Flicking open the catch on the cardboard box, the smell of freshly baked treats filled the air, and he made a rumbling noise of happiness as he plucked on up, and took a bite. As you laughed at him, he took another, pushing it between your lips with a smirk while he chewed. 
He resealed the box, savouring them, as he did all things, and putting them on the table in front of himself. You held the cookie now, eating it slowly, as Draco and Blaise finally seemed to become aware of your presence. 
“I have a question.” Draco started, and your gaze moved to him, brow raising as you took the final bite. “Is Astoria over there talking about me?”
The blond smirked, and you twisted, lifting your legs to sit over Tom, ankles crossing on the opposite arm. “No, no. She’s been recounting a scene from a book.”
“What?”
“Yeah. You know, the fun books. It was really, really hot.” You teased, fanning yourself, and Tom chuckled, reaching over you for his drink, and taking a sip. Instead of putting it back down, he rested the cool glass on your thigh, his free hand coming to sit on your calf, rubbing lightly as you shivered at the touch. “Why? You think you’re better than a good spicy romance?”
“I know I am!” Draco huffed, and Blaise rolled his eyes, watching you wind his best friend up with barely a few words at all. “What book is this?”
“Oh, you don’t want to know…”
“I do want to know! Tell me!” His cheeks were turning pink, all the way up to the tips of his ears. In the spirit of Christmas, you took pity on him, rolling your eyes. 
“I think it was called… Astoria’s Diary.” 
It took a few seconds for it to register in Draco’s mind, and the furious pink turned to an embarrassed red, and he shook his head, eyes narrowed at you. “I despise you.”
“You love me.” You fired back, and he scoffed, but the edges of his lips pulled at a smile, and he looked away to cover it. Settling back a little more, you leaned into the cushion, feeling Tom roll his head across the cushion to lean in your direction. 
“I feel like I’ve barely seen you all week.” He says, voice low for only you to hear, and your head twists towards him You were close, close enough to pick out the different coloured flecks of colour in his eyes as he looked at you, and the hardly visible steaks of lighter brown that trailed naturally through his dark curls.
“Well, I’ve had detention all week, thanks to a certain someone.” You poked his chest, and he only smirked a little bit, shuffling his head a fraction closer. 
“I needed you, what can I say?”
“You needed someone to keep a lookout while you snuck into the restricted section again. Why did it have to be me?” You scoffed, working to keep the smile on your face as the answer to your own question flickered through your mind. He chose you because he knew you’d drop everything and come, the voice taunted; you buried it under the song playing and the laughter in the room so you didn’t have to think about it...
“Don’t act like you didn’t have fun when we ran.” He chuckled, hand sliding up your leg again, fingers lacing with your own. The same way they had when you’d been caught, and he’d grabbed your hand, the two of you ducking and weaving between stacks, fleeing through the corridors. Laughing and out of breath, he’d clutched your hand, thumb rubbing over your knuckles just like he was doing now, staring at you with those pretty eyes.
You hadn't been caught, but you had gotten detention for skipping class to go with him, and so you’d spent all five nights of your final week in detention, writing lines. You lifted your free hand, sighing with a nod, and running it through his curls. His eyes fluttered, head tipping back to follow your hand, and a content smile took over his lips. 
You loved to see him like this, to see him so carefree and happy, to see him relax at just your touch. You’d never seen him like this before. The thought that only you could do it to him sent a thrill down your spine, made your thoughts feel hazy and slow, like treacle in your mind, and your nerves tingled. So, why had he never made a move to make it anything more? You’d given him a dozen chances, a dozen more opportunities…
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you this holiday.” He broke your train of thought, eyes opening again to peer up at you, and his lips became a frown as he thought about it. “My father is going to pile on the pressure not that I’m in my graduating year. I can already feel the headache forming right between my eyes.”
“Oh..” You coo, hand slipping down from his hair to rub your thumb over his forehead, the space you know him to get stress headaches the worst, when he works too hard or gets wound up. He just chuckled, eyes sliding shut once again. 
The song changed, and his body tensed underneath you for just a second, before his eyes snapped open, gaze locked on you. “This is my favourite song.”
“Is it?” You mumble, finger still tracing lightly over his skin, and he nods.
“I didn’t think Mattheo put it on the playlist. I asked him, and he very emphatically said no.” 
“Maybe he changed his mind.” Your shrug doesn’t convince him, not as you both hear Mattheo question the song with a stream of curses somewhere in the distance. His lips twitched at the edges, a small smile, but he said nothing else. Instead, he leaned in, your arm going around his shoulders, rubbing softly as his head nestled onto your shoulder, a sigh on his lips. 
It was perfect, just like this. If he could just open his eyes and see, he’d know how wonderful it could be. Nobody knew him like you did, he’d made sure to keep his secrets locked up tight. But over the months of exchanging letters, and candle-lit nights in the library, he’d bore so much of his soul to you. 
Deep, wounded parts, that you’d tried to put back together. 
Soft, tender parts that he protected so valiantly, but trusted you with. 
Sweet, loving parts, that never saw the light of day, unless you were together.
It was impossible, surely, that he didn’t know. He might keep his feelings locked up tight, but you didn’t hide yours very well at all. As you sat here now, fingers weaving through his hair, lips tracing his temple as you whispered nonsense to him about your day, his head on your shoulder, that he didn’t know. Even a man like Tom Riddle couldn't miss it, right?
You just wanted to make him happy, but he didn’t feel the same. 
With a heart-aching sigh, you ran your fingers through his curls one more time. Unrequited love wasn’t going to ruin your night. Unrequited love wasn’t going to ruin your Christmas. You would not be one of those girls who gave in to their feelings, and crumbled at the feet of a man who didn’t return her affections. 
Sitting up some more, he grumbled at the disruption, blinking his eyes back open as he lifted his head again. “I’m… I’m going to go dance, and play some games, okay?”
“Alright,” He smiled, patting your thigh and lifting his drink away. “Have fun. I’ll probably leave soon. If I don’t see you again, just know I’ll be thinking of you over these holidays. We’ll write again.”
His words send a rush of heat to your cheeks, a tumble of nerves through your stomach, and you could only nod. One more chance, one more chance to make a move…
“Merry Christmas, Tommy,” you whisper, leaning in to kiss his cheek. A kiss that was purposefully close to the edge of his mouth, a kiss that purposefully lingered just a second too long as you pulled away slowly, giving him a chance to turn his head, to close the gap, to kiss you—
But he didn’t, he only smiled. “Merry Christmas, doll.”
So, you stand. You brush it off. You brush off the moment, and the feelings, and all the disappointment and heartbreak that came with it. 
But I can’t do it anymore. 
We’ve been housemates for seven years, we’ve been friends for half of those, and I’ve been in love with you for months. 
But you don’t love me. Mattheo says you do, says you’re just stupid when it comes to feelings. But, even you couldn't miss how I feel about you.
So, I’m letting you go. 
New Year, New Me, New Heart.
“No, your dorm is that way.” You giggle, Mattheo’s arm over your shoulder, pushing him in the direction of the boy’s dorms and pointing. “My dorm is this way!”
“No, you’re wrong!” He mutters, shaking his head dramatically. “Boys to the left,” He says, pointing right, “Girls to the right, because girls are always right!”
“Well, I won’t argue with you there.” You grin, spinning him around. “Wait, now I’m confused. Who’s dorm were we going to again?”
A few too many shots, a few more drinks than your limit at the beer-pong table, and as the last of the party was dying down, you and Mattheo were attempting to stumble back to your dorms. “Theo’s.”
“Right. But why are we going to Theo’s dorm?”
“Because he’s my friend,” Mattheo said. “And also, his bed is next to mine.” Another fit of laughter, drunken giggles melting away, and the two of you collapsed down against the wall, heads tipped back to the stone as amusement took over. When you finally caught your breaths once again, he was smiling, eyes sparkling in that unique Matty-way. Kicking his legs out before himself, he sighed. “Maybe I will just sleep here.”
“You can’t sleep here.”
“Why?” He pouted, and you searched through your foggy mind for a reason. 
“Because you have to sleep in a bed.” Is what you settled on, shrugging your shoulders, even if you were getting a little bit too comfy against the stone too. 
“Can I sleep in your bed?” He wiggled his brows, smirking, before burping, and you giggled again. 
“No, you may not.”
“Why?” He whined, kicking one leg like a toddler in a tantrum. “You have fluffy pillows.”
“And you have sheets that haven’t been washed in months.” Your nose screwed up, and he let out a dramatic, wounded sound, like a soldier who had just been shot in a war movie. 
“That was cold.” He muttered, shaking his head. “Not as cold as the frozen Earth Tom would bury my wee little body in if I spent the night at your dorm.”
You didn’t respond, the mention of his name was like a bucket of ice over your head. Not exactly sobering, but shocking. 
“I’m saying he would murder me.”
“Yes, I understood.”
“You didn’t laugh.” He pouted, and you chuckled for his benefit. “No, it’s not real. Now I feel like I begged for it.”
“You did.”
“You suck.”
“You swallow.” You sighed, and he groaned once again, another argument lost. His head rolled to your shoulder, his body slumping into relaxation. 
“So… what is the deal with you and my brother?” His lips twisted as he thought about it, but he looked up at you curiously, frown only deepening at the sad look on your face. 
“There is no deal.” You shrug, “He doesn’t want me like that. We’re just friends.”
“Yeah,” He snorts, “And the sky isn’t blue.”
“I’m serious, Matty. I’ve given him a hundred chances. He could’ve made a move anytime. I haven’t exactly kept my feelings to myself, all you fools can see my heart dripping and bleeding on my sleeve. He knows, he just didn’t want to acknowledge it.” Your lungs burned for air at the end of your speech, and you took a deep breath, staring ahead at the chipping bricks in an attempt to avoid tears. “Why doesn’t he want me, Matty?”
“He does,” Mattheo mumbled, taking your hand in his and squeezing. “He’s just a fucking moron. But, he’s also scared. You know, you’re pretty much all he talks about? And, I never saw him smile so much as he did during the summer, when he’d receive your letters. He’d get all anxious and fidgety every day, waiting for the mail owl to arrive. He’s never going to make the first move. He’d rather suffer for all his life but have you like this, than risk losing you entirely.”
The words felt like a warming blanket and an ice-cold lake. Comforting and terrifying, sweet and burning, all at the same time. 
Mattheo huffed a laugh, “Maybe you should write him a love letter.”
“Maybe I should…” You whisper, drunken thoughts taking over, and his head snapped up. 
“I was joking.”
“I’m not. That’s a good idea. I should write him a letter, and tell him that I’m moving on.” You brushed your legs off as you stood, taking his hands and pulling him to his feet, determined.
“Okay, that’s not what a love letter is. That’s so far from what I said—”
“Let’s go!” You grabbed his wrist, tugging him along behind you as you made your way through the halls. 
“Now? Why are we doing it now? We should be sleeping now!” His protests fell on deaf ears as you dragged him along. Throwing open the door to your room, Daphne was already asleep, still in her party dress, face down on her pillow, out cold from the night’s festivities and snoring.
Mattheo collapsed onto your bed, rolling onto his side and clutching a fluffy cushion to his chest as he curled into a ball. 
“I’ll just wait here, then.” He yawned through his words, but you were too busy to care, scrambling for a pot of ink and some new parchment. Taking a seat at your desk, you stared at the paper, quill hovering, ready to write.
So, I will spend the end of this year away from you. You say we’ll write, but I don’t want to. 
Only write to me, Tom, if you feel the same.  If not, don’t. Let me heal, and when we come back in the New Year, I promise, nothing will change except for my heart. 
We will still be friends, best friends, and we’ll never talk about it again.
I will wait for you.
Finishing the letter, you sighed at it, the ink drying and immortalising your words onto the page. Sitting before you was the sum total of what sat in your heart, and your mind. Laid out and ready to go, your hands trembled a little as you read it over, and over, to be sure. 
But you had to do this, you had to give this letter to him, to alleviate the strain on your heart, to finally have some closure. Whether he felt the same or not, you’d have relief. Folding it carefully, you searched a strip of wax seal lighting the end and waiting for it to get hot, drips of Slytherin green filling into a pool that overlapped the edge of your paper. When there was enough, you stamped it carefully, sealing it shut as the wax cooled. 
Taking a look behind you, you caught sight of a sleeping Mattheo, his jaw hanging open, drooling onto your favourite throw pillow, half tucked under your blankets from where he’s only bothered to cover his legs. Peeling away the wax seal, you walked over to him, shaking his shoulder, until he awoke with a huff and a groan, whining as he sat up. 
“I was dreaming.”
“I wrote the letter.” You show him the proof, and he rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, glancing from it, to you, and back. “You have to give it to him.”
“Now?”
“No! Not now. Tomorrow. After we get off the train.” He blinked a little more, waking up from his power nap and taking the paper from you. Flipping it over in his hands, he inspected Tom’s name across the front, no address, and raised his brows. 
“Why don’t you mail it?”
“That’ll take days, and I don’t want to leave it up to chance. I need you to give it to him, tomorrow. I know you’ll be swamped with everything your father expects of you both this time of year, events and frivolities and all, but you have to. I don’t want it getting lost amongst other letters and Christmas cards, and such.” Your hands clasped together before you, blinking at him pleadingly, and hoping your puppy-dog eyes were half as good as his.
He sighed, rolling his eyes and muttering to himself as he stood.
“Please, Matty.”
“Fine. I’ll give it to him.” He caved, and you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. 
“Tomorrow? After you get off the train?”
“Yes. I will give Tom the letter… tomorrow.”
Yours,
If you want me, 
(y/n) x
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Tom double-checked his bags, sighing as he zipped up the piece of luggage he’d actually have access to on the train, everything he needed to survive a six-hour train journey. A knock sounded from the door, a signature one that only Mattheo ever used, excessively long and irritating, and the door swung open a second later to reveal his brother. 
Placing his carry-on down on the bed beside his own, Mattheo slumped out on his freshly-stripped bed. “You took your bags to the carriage already?”
“I got up early.”
“Surprising, I thought I’d have to drag you out of your bed this morning considering how much you drank last night.” He gave his brother a look, a single brow raised, and Mattheo just huffed. 
“It’s called having fun, you should try it sometime.”
Tom only rolled his eyes, gaze scanning across the bag Mattheo had abandoned, snagging on the letter sticking out of one pocket. T— was all that was visible. It might have been a card, that someone had addressed it to ‘Theo’ instead of Mattheo, but everyone called him ‘Matt’ if they wanted a nickname, to avoid confusion with Nott.
Curiosity ate at him, and nudging the bag subtly revealed just enough more to show an ‘O’. 
Definitely Tom, then. Mattheo was carrying a letter for him, and had not delivered it. Before he could pluck it from the pocket, his brother was sitting up, reaching for his bag and getting to his feet, swinging the letter out of his reach inadvertently. 
“Ready to go?”
“Is that letter for me?” Tom burst instead, making another move for the bag. His suspicions were only confirmed when Mattheo shifted his body, pulling the arm carrying the bag away from him, behind his body and out of Tom’s reach. “Why do you have it? When did it arrive?”
Mattheo turned casually, looking down at it, patting it and pushing it back into the bag, deeper. Tom recognised that handwriting now, though, and the urgency swelled. “Uh… last night, I think. But I was a little drunk, so…”
“Why didn’t you give it to me?” Tom pressed, biting his tongue from yelling at his brother, and Mattheo just shrugged. 
“Figured I’d give it to you on the train, or something. Or when we got home. It’s just a letter.”
“Yeah…” Tom could only hum in response, his mind spinning a little. Everyone had exchanged gifts and goodbyes last night, before the party. For exactly this reason, to avoid the morning rush to the train, to avoid the hassle in the morning. “But— I saw her last night. Why wouldn't she just give it to me then? Or mail it to me?” 
The questions were ceaseless, almost making Tom dizzy as he tried to think them through, and Mattheo could only shrug, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his smile to himself. 
“I don’t know, Tom. She just came to me, and asked me to give you that letter because she didn’t want it to get lost amongst other letters, or take too long, or something like that.” It was a small lie, really, fabricated from aspects of the truth.
“So, it’s important, then! It’s obviously important if she couldn't risk it getting lost, if it had to be hand-delivered! I should read it.” Just like that, Tom stepped right into Mattheo’s trap. Now all he had to do was pull the pin, and let the steel jaws snap shut. Yes, it could potentially backfire hugely, but Mattheo was looking on the positive side for this. 
“We have to go, Tom. Everyone else has probably already left for the train.” Mattheo swung his bag again, making his point, and kicked Tom’s suitcase from where it sat beside the door towards him to pick up. “Let’s go.”
Tom sighed, grabbing his bags and taking a few steps after him, and didn’t even make it over the threshold of the door before he gave in. His bags dropped from his hands, and planted on his hips instead. “I’m going to read it.”
“Tom—”
“Give me the letter.” He held out his pal, and Mattheo tipped his head to the side, but pressed his lips together to hide a grin. “I’ll catch up, you go. I’ll read it and I’ll catch up, it’s only a letter, can’t take that long.”
He lunged for Mattheo's bag, snatching the crisply pressed paper from the pocket before his brother could stop him. As he turned away, he missed Mattheo’s victorious smile. “Alright, I’ll take your trunk down. Don’t be long, or you’ll miss the train.” And you’ll miss her, were Mattheo’s unspoken words, as he grabbed Tom’s suitcase and disappeared, leaving him alone. 
Sitting on the edge of his bed, Tom’s hand shook a little. The paper felt like it weighed a thousand tons. There was so much unspoken mystery behind it that Tom was sure whatever this letter said, it was not their usual correspondence. Not the chatty, friendly, borderline flirty letters they’d send each other when apart, this was more. 
Sliding his thumb neatly under the wax seal he was so familiar with, Tom popped open the letter, unfolding it carefully and flipping it around to read. 
His gaze scanned over the paper, lips flicking up at the use of the nickname he only allowed you to use, the swirl of your handwriting that he loved so much. The smile didn’t last long, however, and neither did the breath in his lungs as his chest seized. He read it.
Over and over again, he read the letter. 
The minutes melted past as he absorbed what it said, until he could read the letter word for word without looking at it, tattooed into his mind now like a brand. With trembling fingers, he folded the letter back up carefully, lifting the paper to his lips as his eyes slid shut. 
His heart was pounding, more so than he’d ever felt. Tom was not one for rash decisions and sudden jumps, everything was calculated and thought through and planned. But this, this was you. This is just what you did, forced him to let go of routine and be spontaneous, forced him to be carefree, to loosen the grip he had on the reigns, to show him he wouldn't fall apart at the slightest breeze. 
He smiled against the letter, thoughts of you flicking through his mind. 
And then a clock chimed, and he jumped violently within as he was rushed back to reality in a split second. The clock in the common room chimed loudly, echoing through the empty dorms and halls. 
Rushing to his feet, Tom opened his bag, tucking the letter safely inside one of his books to preserve it, to tuck it inside the box of letters from you that was tucked under his bed at home. You doubted him, his feelings, unsure he’d kept that first letter, when in reality, he’d kept every single one.
Every letter, every note, even the silly little joke you scribbled on torn-off pieces of paper and threw at him in class, he kept them all.
Zipping his bag back up and grabbing it, he had no time to spare, racing to the chimes of the clock through the castle, to the front gates where the final carriage was leaving. 
It felt too long. Too long as the horses plodded through the snow, too long as the wheel scrolled slowly, and his foot tapped agitatedly on the floor in a way he never allowed himself to do. His thumbnail was between his teeth, flicking between the frost-covered ground and his bag, wondering if it would actually be faster to run there himself. 
Ahead, the train sounded its horn. The final warning for all students to begin boarding and settling in, because they’d be departing soon. 
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You watched as the trunks were beginning loaded onto the train, all to be collected when you arrived in London, only letting out a breath of relief as Mattheo rounded the corner, finally joining your group. 
“Matty! About time, we were worried you’d miss the train.” Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he sighed, a little out of breath, and hugged you back once he dropped the two bags in his hands. Nobody followed him, and your brows furrowed, pulling back, “Where’s Tom?”
“He’s probably already on the train, sulking somewhere. He’s never late.” Theo snickered, and you rolled your eyes, smacking him across the shoulder for his joke. 
“Blaise is inside holding a cabin for us, is Tom not sitting with us?” Enzo questioned, and you turned to Mattheo, waiting for answers. 
“He’ll be here, trust me.”
“He’s late?” Draco asked, quickly followed by Enzo and Theo, all discussing it. Regulus stayed quiet, smoking and trying to hide it from being seen, but his expression was just as concerned as everyone else’s. 
The chatter continued on, by your worry didn’t cease, checking up and down the platform as people bustled and crowded it. Saying their final goodbyes and giving out hugs, climbing on and off the train as they all wished one another Merry Christmas, and being unable to see either end was causing your anxiety to rocket higher. 
The train horn blared again, and students began to board. “Mattheo, seriously, where is he—” Just like that, you saw him, the busy platform parting to let him through, the look on his face as terrifying as ever, and people moved out of his way as he made his way towards your group. 
“Told you he’d be here,” Mattheo smirked, and you raised a brow. 
“The hell did you say to him this morning, Matt?” Regulus questions. 
“He looks mad,” Draco murmured. 
“He looks like he’s plotting.” Enzo corrected.
Every step closer rose the tension as Tom finally looked up, his sights setting on you, and his jaw clenched. Brows drawn in, he did look like he was plotting, like a thousand thoughts were racing through his mind that he couldn't sort through. 
“Hey, man. We thought you were gonna’ miss the—” Draco’s words cut off at your squeak, as Tom stepped closer, never stopping the movements of his body until he was cupping your cheeks, his mouth descending upon your own. 
You were almost knocked backwards from the force of it, your hands gripping at his shoulders as he bent you over backwards, a kiss so intense your knees almost went weak. 
It was desperate, you could barely keep up, kissing back as best you could through your shock, until it wore off enough to reciprocate. Wrapping one arm around his neck, your other slipped to his face, his own hands making their way down, to band around your waist and pull you in closer, until your bodies were flush. 
His tongue licked into your mouth, a sigh escaping you as he did, and your heart pounded against your heart, the same way he was doing, felt through his jumper and layers. The boys were whistling, cheering and hooting, and if you weren’t so happy you’d have been embarrassed by the show they were making, and the attention they were no doubt drawing. 
When he finally pulled back, you panted softly, his forehead resting on your own, blinking his eyes open to meet your gaze. 
“Can I write to you regardless?” He mumbled, voice rough and tense with emotion, and your brows furrowed. 
“Wh— What?” 
He leaned in, not helping you clear your dazed mind at all as he kissed you again, and again, until you were smiling, fingers clenched so tight in his coat that your knuckles were white, just to stay upright. 
You pecked his lips once more, chasing him as he pulled back, and the train horn sounded, a final warning, but you didn’t care. “You know how I feel now. You don’t have to wait for my reply. You can be assured that I will miss you dearly over these two weeks, and I am already counting the minutes until I see you again. But can I write to you, still?”
As the realisation set in, your face flamed, jaw dropping a little bit, and he wasted no opportunity, kissing you softly. “You read my letter.”
He only nodded, a gentle chuckle onto your mouth as your lips brushed. “You’d leave it to Mattheo to deliver? He’d probably lose it at a McDonalds, trying to get a Big Mac before my father saw him, on the way home. 
Your laughter was sweet, a puffed-out sound as his hands smoothed up and down your back. “I’d love to get more letters from you, Tommy. I’m sorry I didn’t give it to you in person, but I was scared. I thought I’d made my feelings for you obvious, and you didn’t reciprocate, so I had to write that letter. To get it out, to finalise it all.”
“I like to consider myself a smart man, you know. When it comes to you, clearly, I’m a fool. You leave me speechless, and without proper thoughts, every time. All I can think about is how pretty you are, and how much I like you, despite my best efforts not to.” 
The declaration was so utterly Tom, to hate being in love even if he loved it. 
“For Salazar’s sake, what have you done, Matt?” Theo cussed, and you twisted your head to look at him. “Shakespeare over here is going to be writing sonnets for the rest of the year. None of us will stand a chance with any other girls when he’s showing us up, standing under windows, yelling his love to the moon.”
You rolled your eyes, ignoring their nonsense. Tom did the same, nuzzling his nose against your cheek, and leaving a kiss there.
“I’ll look forward to your letters, just as I did in the summer.” You whisper, pulling away from him as the platform clears, most students already aboard now.
“And after?” Tom questions, “May I still write you letters if I, too, find myself struggling to confess my feelings in person?”
“Oh, God,” Enzo muttered. “He’s going to be writing love letters all year. He’s making the rest of us sound like cavemen. Me, you, bed, now.” He grunted, smacking a fist in his chest. You giggled as Tom rolled his eyes. 
“We should get on the train.” You whisper, taking pity on the others and untangling yourself from his arms. 
Tom took his bag again, and your own. With a final kiss on your cheek, he walked away to the door of the carriage, letting the rest of you follow behind. Mattheo fell into step beside you, smirking as he bumped your hips with his own.
“So, should I tell my mother and father that they have a new daughter-in-law this holiday, or wait ‘til the next.”
His teasing made you blush again, cheeks already red in the cold, warming you under all those layers. “You’re a filthy traitor. You gave him my letter early.”
“I said I’d give it to him ‘tomorrow’. Never agreed to the after the train part.” He tutted, proud of himself. “Always pay attention to the words of a contract. My dear brother taught me that. You never have to break a promise, if you’re smart with your words.”
That sounded exactly like something your man would say, your eyes rolling to the Heavens. 
Mattheo leaned in, voice dropping to a whisper as the pair of you climbed the steps. “You never have to break your heart either, if you’re smart about who you give it to.”
1K notes · View notes
mariabtsos · 6 months ago
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Nuts - ||k.nj||
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Description: how had Namjoon ended up in this situation? What do you mean he had to actually make a connection instead of fucking your brains out?
Genre: Oneshot, Non-idol AU, Rapper!Namjoon x Makeup Artist f!reader, strangers-to-lovers, Too Hot To Handle inspired, SMUT SMUT SMUT!! Hopeful ending. 
Warnings: Namjoon is a bit of a player and full of himself, just smut overall with a hopefully balanced plot, eventually he’ll get back in touch with his feelings, this might be the longest oneshot I've written? Oral sex f receiving, fingering f receiving, grinding, slight exhibitionism.
Word Count: 8.5k+
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Namjoon thought himself a reasonable person, horny, but reasonable. He never needed to go to extremes to get what he wanted, whether it be an artist he liked to feature on a song, or fuck the sexy girl that kept bringing champagne over to his table at club. She was leaning against the wall of some small maintenance closet, her back was arched as he pounded into her relentlessly.
Once they finished, he could tell she would want more, doing a not so subtle attempt at slipping her phone number into Namjoon’s back pocket. He smirked and walked out after fixing himself up, knowing full well this would be the last time he’d see her, Namjoon never came back for seconds once he had them. It was nothing against the women he slept with, he didn’t used to be this way, but a few instances of heartbreak and a toxic cycle of make up sex can lead one to denounce love all together and give into pure carnal desire.
Such was Namjoon’s case.
When he arrived at his table he noticed his manager, Jin, and his two best friends, Hoseok and Yoongi, did not receive him with the usual knowing smiles, granted, this time he hadn’t waited long to ditch them for some pussy. Namjoon usually gave it about an hour or two into an outing before temporarily or permanently leaving his friends, but he supposed tonight he really needed a quick fix.
“Why do y’all look like you’re mad at me?” he asked, taking a seat and picking at the chips and salsa that had been placed at the center of their table.
The VIP section of the club was nice, it had a great mix of different low and high-grade celebrities, Namjoon liked to think he was making his way up from the low end of the spectrum, now that he’d been picked up a small label and his mixtape would go from SoundCloud to mainstream platforms.
“We’ve barely been here for half an hour, Namjoon-ah,” Jin complained, holding the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb, Namjoon just continued to stare at him confused. “Well, it’s not my fault, every time she was serving us drinks her tits were right there, and I don’t know if you noticed but they were beautifully proportioned,” he smiled cheekily.
His friends didn’t reciprocate it.
“The label signed you up for a reality show,” Jin stated bluntly, Namjoon almost thought he heard a record scratch, “why?”
“They think it’s good exposure for you,” the older shrugged, “plus it’s like a retreat, you get to stay in a villa with other people and you play games through the summer to win a cash prize.”
“Will I get to keep the cash prize when I win?” he asked, Yoongi and Hoseok sharing a look of annoyance at their friend’s cockiness.
Namjoon had never really been the cocky type, but once his mixtapes and albums started getting hundreds of thousands of streams, and girls seemed to follow him like bees in search of honey, he’d seemed to have his feet a little too far off the ground, and it got worse once he was signed to the label.
“The label is considering it if you create enough buzz around yourself.”
“Well then, I guess I have my work cut out for me,” he smiled, dimples on full display.
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You kept refreshing your email every minute, you needed this opportunity, you needed this. It had been your dream since becoming a makeup artist to open your own salon. You were tired of taking clients in the small living room of your studio apartment.
You had been looking for an investor for months when you finally found one that had been interested in your business. He had arranged an interview with you and had asked for a portfolio of your work, just to see what you offered would be worth what you were asking, everything in the interview suggested it was. You were told to wait about a week for them to get back to you, and now that it had been a couple days after the week mark you were starting to get nervous.
The notification sound of a new email made your heart start to race.
From: Hwang Jongdae
Subject: Investment on 2!3! Beauty Salon
Good morning, miss Yn,
After careful consideration of your proposal, we have unfortunately decided that we will not move forward…
You didn’t need to read the rest of the lengthy email, you slammed your laptop shut, immediately reaching for your phone to call your sister, tears inevitably escaped your eyes as soon as she picked up your call.
“Ynie what’s wrong?” She asked, her face showing immediate concern. You explained the situation to her through sobs and snot.
“I don’t know what to do!”
“You could come out with me and Danbi, we are going to the club tonight, maybe you’ll find some rich drunk guy that will invest in your salon.”
You were apprehensive at first, but in the end here you were, in the middle of a night club making somewhat conversation with some guy who’d long taken off his suit jacket and tie, you weren’t planning on anything, you just wanted to someone to converse with since your sister and her girlfriend had ditched you to go dancing.
It wasn’t your fault you had ended up outside making out. You were just sad and needed some cheering up, making out with a stranger sounded like a quick fix, and maybe you’d get a room somewhere and you could enjoy the brief happiness that came with having a one night stand
“Well, I think, your story could make for great reality TV,” his speech was slightly slurred as he pulled away, a sign that the glass he was somehow still holding was definitely not one of the first ones he’d had tonight, “I’m casting this…um…competition show, you get to spend the summer in a pretty villa with pretty people and play games, you can win a SHIT load of money,” he kept leaning toward you, you had to hold back the urge to puke as his breath reeked of alcohol.
You were interested as soon as he mentioned money, you didn’t care what kind of competition it was, you would do anything to make your dream into reality, even if it meant participating in some stupid TV show and dealing with dumb people.
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Namjoon was a bit upset about giving up his phone the night before their first day of shooting, but this retreat was meant to be a place where he could disconnect entirely. Which wasn’t an entirely bad idea, the past few weeks was mainly a lot of paperwork and filming his intro for the show, apparently, he’d be the “first to arrive.”
He was happy to see champagne set up on a hightop table, he served himself a glass and waited, other guys started showing up, and then the girls started showing up as well, and to say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement, all the women were beautiful and when you walked in? 
Namjoon quickly knew that you'd be his target.
He was immediately attracted to you, for a moment he really thought that whoever was up there, if there was anyone, must've put you right there, you were exactly the type he went for when he looked for a quick lay. You were wearing a full body bathing suit, given that the villa was at a beachfront, like shows like these often were. Your hair was down in what he assumed was its natural form, and your make up accentuated your face's features beautifully.
The rest of the girls immediately went to greet you, while the men just stared and spoke amongst themselves about who they liked, it was mostly varied answers. The six girls were the stereotypical body type you’d see in shows like these, although some were definitely on the curvier side, all from different places, the guys were pretty much the same, all well built and mouth-watering.
“Okay so to catch you up to speed…um” one of the girls spoke.
“Yn”
“Right, we have all been scanning the boys and let me tell you, it’s going to be a bloodbath,” she chuckled, as did all the others. She introduced herself as Andrea, and the other girls introduced themselves shortly after.
They walked you over to where the high-tops were, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way the beautiful dragon-eyed man was devouring you with his gaze, and regardless of your small cover-up skirt and your full body bathing suit, you felt very much naked and aroused. If his gaze alone could do that, what could he do to you?. You had no time to calm your racing heart as he approached, his tall frame towered over you.
“Hey,” his voice sounded like honey, “my name is Namjoon, what’s yours?” he wasn’t subtle at all with the way his eyes trailed up and down your body.
“Yn,” you held your hand out to him “nice to meet you Namjoon,” he took it, bringing your knuckles up to his lips to kiss, you quickly took your hand away.
“What, you don’t like chivalry?”
“You don’t seem like the type to do it genuinely,” you admitted.
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”
Your neck was hurting badly, you didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to you, making his stature much more than what you had initially suspected. Namjoon enjoyed the vertical advantage, as it gave him a perfect view to your tits, so beautiful and round, he could feel himself slowly harden, he was ready to tell you to come with him to one of the rooms so you could act upon it, when the host of the show finally showed up.
“Hello guys!” he was a beautiful man as well, did this show only look for good looking people? The producer you’d met said you’d be with pretty people, but this was another level, what a major boost to your ego. “I’m Taehyung, welcome Games in Paradise!” Everyone cheered and clapped as the host gave a pretty boxy smile, “you’ll spend the rest of your summer here, where if you succeed with our challenges, you will win a fantastic prize! Your first challenge will be announced later on by the beach, please explore your home for the next two months and enjoy!” Cheers erupted from the small group again, and everyone dispersed after Taehyung walked away.
And explore you did, the villa was huge, it came fully equipped with everything one could only dream of having. The kitchen was fully stocked with a bunch of fancy appliances for your convenience, the bathrooms were gorgeous and came with both a standing shower and a bathtub, the sleeping area had six queen sized beds and nightstands were full of things to make all the sex everyone was planning on having more enjoyable, from condoms to toys, to lube; a few rooms were locked and you weren’t sure why, but no one really cared, considering everyone starting breaking off into duos and small groups to start enjoying their time there.
(T-4 hours)
Andrea, and yourself were enjoying sun-tanning on the lounge chairs right in front of the pool, your cover-ups long gone as your asses in full display as you laid on your stomach. You were reading a book you had picked out of the villa’s small bookcase, while your newly found friend had her eyes closed.
“So, you and Namjoon huh?” she spoke, you looked up to see her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose as she stared at you suggestively. “He’s hot as fuck, anyone here would stupid not to be turned on by his mere sight,” you shrugged.
“The way he was looking at you I thought he was going to fuck you right then and there!” she giggled. You sighed in response and went back to reading your book, mainly to distract yourself from the godly man you’d met, and the many things you wished he’d do to you, so your wetness wouldn’t ruin your favorite swimsuit.
Namjoon was watching you from far away, two of the guys he’d met on either side of him also watching the girls they so badly wanted. Namjoon would enjoy his time here, whether it was with you, or someone who offered to help with his urges sooner. “Okay,” he stood up from his spot, “y’all can enjoy staring and not touching, I’m going in,” he started walking off when he felt a smack in his ass, surely from Jimin, one of the guys he’d been seating with, and his newest friend.
As he walked down to the lounge chairs he noticed someone else taking your friend away, leaving you alone.
Perfect, no interruptions, he thought.
“Hello again,” greeted you once he was close enough to you, he sat down at the spot your friend was previously laying on, his eyes shamelessly enjoying the view of your ass.
“If we still had our phones I’d tell you to take a picture,” you quipped, Namjoon looked back to your face and found you had been staring at him, he flushed slightly at being caught, but got himself together fairly quickly.
“Can you blame me when you have such a wonderful ass?” he chuckled, his dimples in full display which only made him more attractive in your eyes. The silence wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely filled with tension, you took off your sunglasses, a small smirk on your face “I bet you’d love to fuck it wouldn’t you?”
Namjoon wasn’t expecting such a bold response. He choked on his own saliva and got into a coughing fit as he heard you cackle loudly. When it finally subsided, he noticed you’d left, leaving a water bottle at his feet and a note on the lounge chair you had been seated on not so long ago.
Meet me in the sleeping area ;)
(T- 30 minutes)
There truly was no way of explaining your current predicament. How had you ended up like this so quickly? It was truly all a blur.
All you knew was that you were straddling Namjoon, dry-humping his erection over his swimming trunks, and making out ferociously.
Namjoon felt his dick getting impossibly stiff as you rubbed your pussy against it, your moans swallowed by his lips as he put his tongue down your throat. He played with your tits, massaging one of the mounds with one hand and holding your ass with another. “Can I pull down the straps?” he groaned as you moved to kiss him behind his ear and down his sharp jawline; you managed to muster a pathetic ‘mmhmm’ and you felt your nipples brushing against his chest and then being pinched and rolled between Namjoon’s thumb and index finger.
“Your body is so gorgeous,” he complimented before putting the breast he was playing with in his mouth, making you arch your back and moan as he sucked and licked it to his heart’s content. When he released your breast from his mouth he slowly dragged his hand down to your core, expertly moving your swimsuit aside and using his thumb to rub your already sensitive bundle of nerves, “fuck!” you moaned, he then moved his hand so that his thumb continued to rub your clit as he inserted his finger inside of you, “so wet for me,” he added another, “so tight,” and another “can’t wait to fuck this slick, tight pussy until you can’t walk” his fingers curved deliciously against your walls and you could feel the coil of pleasure tightening inside you.
“Take off your pants,” you managed to plead.
“Hmm?”
“Take off your pants, please, I want to rid-”
“Hello,” a robotic voice interrupted your pleas, scaring you so badly you almost ended up falling off of Namjoons lap. He gently took his fingers out of you and fixed up your swimsuit just in case someone was about to walk in. “Who the fuck is there?!” Namjoon asked sternly, carefully moving you off his lap.
“My name is Lana,” that’s when you finally noticed the small cone on top of a decorative table. “I hope you are enjoying the retreat, please head down to the palapa, it should be next to the place you arrived at today.”
You and Namjoon stared at each other, having a mental conversation on whether you actually wanted to or not, ultimately going back to making out. Namjoon wanted you so badly, and the stupid Lana robot had definitely not made him any harder, but he was sure he’d be back to it once you guys got back in the mood.
“Hurry up, lovebirds.” Lana’s robotic timbre interrupted them yet again, making you fall backwards on the bed “ugh!” You complained, “Let’s go before she becomes more of a buzz kill.”
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You sat next to Namjoon, his arm was around your shoulders. You saw Andrea sitting among some of the girls, one of them in particular, Jihee you thought was her name, was throwing daggers at you with her eyes. All you could do was give her a tight-lipped smile, looking away from her as the small cone that had scared you earlier slowly rose up on a platform in the middle of the table.
“Hello, contestants,” her multicolored light blinked as she spoke, “I have gathered information during this first day of the retreat.” Everyone looked at each other, in a very ‘what the fuck’ kind of way because up until she spoke, you had thought her to be a very fancy diffuser, “it has been most insightful.”
“What the fuck does she mean?” Andrea spoke up.
“The purpose of the retreat is to have you create deep, meaningful, emotional connections, instead of the meaningless flings you’ve all been having.”
“So… have platonic relationships with women?” Jimin looked confused, he didn’t have to wait long for an answer.
“To incentivize you not to do this, I have set the prize money to one-hundred thousand dollars.”
‘Oh my god’s’ were spread out through the group, as they all talked about what that amount of money could do for them, you opened up to Namjoon and Andrea who were the people sitting closest to you, “that money could definitely get me my salon!”
“You’re a hairdresser?” Andrea asked.
“Makeup artist, but I’m planning on having a full service salon,” you smiled sweetly, Namjoon found the sparkle in your eye somewhat endearing when you talked about your dream, but, he couldn’t let himself dwell on it for long, he wanted a good lay, not a deep connection, deep connections had only caused him pain.
“However,” Lana interrupted the group’s chatter, “there are conditions to your stay in order to win the prize,” you hoped the collective complaint wasn’t missed on the small cone, although you were sure it was, it was a robot after all.
“There will be no kissing.”
Your eyes widened, as did most of the groups. “Well, she only said kissing right?” Jihee said.
“No heavy petting.” 
“This is fucking stupid,” Daniel, one of the guys Namjoon had been hanging out with spoke.
“No sex of any kind, this includes self-gratification,” the chorus of what’s and no’s that broke out from the group were immediate, and you felt regretful, if you had cut to the chase sooner you could’ve gotten a really good dicking from Namjoon, and now you were all going to be blue balled.
Or were you?
(Day 2)
You woke up the next morning comfy, you and Namjoon decided you would share a bed, and his muscular arms held you tightly, and you felt protected in a way. You hadn’t been one for cuddling in a long time, not since your last relationship almost 4 years ago. It had ended quite tumultuously, especially due to its toxic and suffocating nature. It was mainly why you had one night stands, you didn’t have to cuddle if you didn’t want to, you could just leave right after.
You also didn’t miss Namjoon’s morning wood against your ass, no one was awake yet aside from you, so you decided to be a little risky and pretend like you were adjusting yourself, only to rub up on Namjoon’s dick some more. His grip tightened at your hips, you felt his breath against your ear as he groaned.
“You better stop that, or I’ll fuck you just like this,” he whispered, you could feel yourself getting slick at his words, how badly you wanted him follow through. “Don’t you want the money?” you whispered back, doing your best to hold your moans as he grinded against your ass, “Lana is a dumb fucking robot, how will she know?”
Fuck it.
That’s how you ended up with your shorts and underwear halfway down your legs, and with Namjoon’s fingers deep in your pussy, just like last night. You were biting your pillow and doing your best to hold back your moans. “You ready for me baby?”
Best you could do was reach back and touch him, you wanted to keep quiet just in case someone heard you. He slowly teased your entrance with the tip of his cock, you had yet to see it but when it breached you, you could tell he was thick, and as he slowly fed himself into your pussy, it was ten times harder to stay quiet. Yup. He was definitely big. 
He fucked you slowly, and he had to hold himself back as well, your pussy felt so good and it almost felt like you sucked him in deeper with every thrust, he wanted to rail you, to make you scream and moan so that everyone knew just how good he fuck you. “You’re taking my cock so well,” he praised you, causing you to clench harder on him, “if you keep doing that I’m going to cum,” you answered, “why don’t you hmm? Maybe I’ll pump full of my cum too, and make you keep it in so no one knows what we did,” he bit your earlobe and you almost moaned out loud. The coil in your stomach snapped, and your back arched from the pleasure the beautiful man behind you was giving you, it wasn’t long before he came as well, and just like he said, you were filled to the brim.
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After your morning shower and getting yourself ready, you were out and about with the girls hanging out in the pool, it was a hot, sunny day, and you were having fun hanging out with the gals.
“Were you okay this morning, Yn? I thought I kept hearing moan?” Jihee asked, making the rest of the girls turn to you. You and Namjoon had agreed to not tell anyone about your little escapade this morning. “I was having a really bad nightmare, I’m sorry,” you smiled apologetically.
Jihee didn’t seem to believe you, meanwhile the other girls rushed to ensure you were okay, they kept asking what your nightmare was about, thankfully, before the show you’d have a really bad one, so you used that one for your story, they didn’t know it wasn’t recent. However, you didn’t miss the angry looks from Jihee, but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the guys came over to the pool to get you, stating that Lana had called for you all to go to the palapa.
You sat next to Namjoon again, who placed his arm on the armrest behind you. You were staring off, not really setting your eyes on one thing until they landed on his thighs. They were so thick and muscular, you wondered what riding them felt like, perhaps that could be the next thing you and Namjoon sneaked off to do.
“Hello, contestants,” the small cone in the middle of the table spoke, everyone greeted it back. “It has come to my attention someone may have broken the rules,” everyone stared around, except for Namjoon, who was playing with the leftover fabric of the headband you were wearing.
“No one’s done anything Lana,” Jimin stated.
“My cameras picked up movement and audio last night, are you sure?” The girls stared at you so quick you were worried they would break their necks, “Yn? You said you had a bad nightmare last night didn’t you?” Jihee’s voice was laced with cattiness, and you felt a slight tug to your headband.
“My cameras picked Namjoon, speaking also.”
“Her nightmare sounded pretty bad, I was whispering in her ear to calm her down, nothing happened,” the way he lied so effortlessly made you feel weird, and you remembered why you’d been single for so long, you didn’t want to be in another situation where you were gaslighted and lied to.
You were grateful that you had kept your movement so slow and subtle.
“Just a warning, if you are found breaking the rules, depending on what you do, you will lose money.”
All hell broke loose then.
(Day 14)
You had managed to go this far without you or Namjoon making a single sexual move, and it was killing him not being able to plow you like he wanted to. It was good because you weren’t the first to lose the group money, Daniel and Jihee were surprisingly the firsts to do so, Jihee had given head to Daniel twice in one day, losing twelve thousand dollars. Later on, Andrea and Jimin kissed a few times, losing six thousand dollars.
Namjoon thought that building an emotional connection was dumb, he’d done that before, and each time it ended in a heartbreak worse than the last, his most recent relationship being what made him swear off on relationships. The girl he had dated was someone he’d loved, he’d do everything for her, every song was for her, any money made from his music went to both his and her bills, he almost dropped his best friends for her. 
And then he found out she’d been cheating on him all along.
It absolutely broke him, he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t good enough, he’d always been a gentleman, he would spoil her, love her, why wasn’t that enough? 
He didn’t care anymore, when he had an urge he would go to the clubs, or even after a gig he would pull a fan he found hot and he would fuck them until he was satisfied, leaving shortly after, or if he was craving something more intimate he would cuddle them after for a little while, no deep conversation, no sob stories shared, no number exchange. No strings attached. It was the only way not to get hurt.
You were so nice, such a good fuck. He almost wished you had met a few years before, then again would he have looked your way? He always seemed to be dating women who only wanted him for his money, women who never appreciated the little things. You did. He’d made you coffee this morning, using the keurig in the kitchen because he knew he would burn the villa down if he did it like some of the others were making it. He did it because you had become somewhat friends, sexual tension aside, your conversations were great, even if they were forced at first to distract you both from how badly you wanted the other, maybe he’d leave this with you as a good friend. All the girls cooed at the nice gesture, and Namjoon visibly cringed “it’s just fucking coffee it doesn’t mean anything.”
Oh, how those words hurt you.
You had unfortunately developed a crush for the rapper. He was so incredibly smart, he had such wisdom and insight, and his face card was crazy. You had felt horny the first few days, after your small rendezvous, but that subsided once you had more and more conversations, you really like his brain. However, how you felt didn’t matter, he didn’t want you like that, you were someone he fucked once and that he wants to fuck again, nothing more, nothing less. So, maybe it was a good thing that new players came into the scene.
Lana announced them, and it wasn’t long before you spotted them walking down the beach, two men. Both men were absolutely ripped, one of them had a full sleeve and piercings, making you salivate at the sight, the other didn’t have any tattoos, but he had a somewhat big nose and a beautiful smile. When they arrived they quickly introduced themselves as Christopher and Jungkook. The latter seemed to have immediately set an eye on you as he immediately started conversing with you and tried to get to know you better. You and the others had to explain the rules to the newcomers, they weren’t exactly thrilled, but they got over somewhat quickly.
“Ynie, do you want to go talk somewhere else alone?” the doe-eyed man asked, and how could you say no to that pretty smirk. Namjoon didn’t really like it as he saw you walk away with the younger man.
“You can’t talk to her the way you did this morning and expect her not to move on,” Andrea spoke, Jimin giggled next to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t care,” he clarified, making your friend roll her eyes.
“Attention, contestants,” Lana’s voice broke through the various conversations, “there will be a special event happening near the garden tomorrow, please go there in the morning.”
“What’s in it for us anyway?” Chris spoke up.
“The person who shows the most progress and success will win a date with a person of their choosing,” now that changes things.
(Day 15)
Without words. That’s what the workshop was called.
Lana had paired all of you up, and you had ended up being paired with Jungkook, whilst Namjoon was paired with Jihee. Namjoon wasn’t one to be possessive of the people he fucked, but it wasn’t that he fucked you before, you were his friend, and Jungkook seemed like he was up to no good, what with the big deceitful doe eyes.
You were excited though, it was a fresh start for you, maybe Jungkook will be able to give you that deep emotional connection you were supposed to look for. You hadn’t wanted it at first, but your growing feelings for Namjoon along with all the workshops you had done so far helped you realize that. This one in particular had two stages, the first one was picking up on your partner’s body language. You had to go for a hug with Jungkook showing a specific emotion, and he would have to guess it later, that emotion was excitement.
Once Lana gave you the go, you ran toward the pretty man and hopped on him, wrapping your legs around him. He quickly caught you, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to hold one of your legs up, you both were so giggly, and everyone in the group could tell you were enjoying each other’s company. Namjoon was hugging Jihee but he wasn’t putting that much effort in it, he was watching you and Jungkook, and the stupid shit eating grin he had whilst you hugged. How badly he wanted to be the one you had your legs wrapped around, he was getting a little upset at how long you were hugging this newcomer for, considering everyone had stopped except for you two.
“We don’t have all day!” Namjoon remarked, his tone was bitter. You didn’t realize you had embraced Jungkook for so long, you had connected a lot during his first day, you talked until the high hours of the night, so you felt good with him, it was easy. You let go and walked back, whispering I’m sorry’s to the group for the hold up. “The next stage is soul gazing, you will stare at your partner in silence, it encourages you to see and connect with your partner on a deeper emotional level,” Lana said.
The silence of everyone was quite comfortable, and watching Jungkook you felt such warmth and kindness emanating from him, and you also saw him tear up a bit. “You have a beautiful soul Ynie,” he admitted, and like the Grinch, you felt your heart grow three sizes from those words. Namjoon, however, was seething, who the hell is guy anyway, why is he making you swoon all the sudden? It was bullshit, absolute bullshit. After the workshop was finally over, Lana announced the winner, you.
“Yn, who do you choose to go on this date with,” the little cone asked, and everyone’s eyes were on you. The expectations were skewed, some were expecting you to pick Namjoon, and some were expecting you to pick Jungkook based on the past two days alone.
“Jungkook,” he had the prettiest smile, “wanna go on this date with me?”
“Yes!” He was very enthusiastic, giving you a quick side hug, the girls rushed to your side to help you get ready.
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Namjoon was with the guys as they all watched Jungkook getting ready, he wasn’t very excited about the prospect of you going on a date with someone, he wanted you all for himself to enjoy and he couldn’t have that if you went with Jungkook. He heard Jimin giggling, noticing he’d been staring at him this whole time. “What?”
“Good thing you don’t have laser vision, poor Jungkookie would be dead if you did,” he continued to chuckle.
“I’m not even looking at him.”
“Give me a fucking break hyung, it’s obvious you are jealous of the guy, I mean just today’s workshop alone shows that,” Jimin explained, “if you like Yn you should shoot your shot.”
Did Namjoon like you? I mean he was definitely not repulsed by you, you were a smart, pretty girl. But how would he know you wouldn't use him? Sure you didn't seem like you would but what about when you were out in the real world?
“I'll be back,” Jungkook had a big grin on his face, “wish me luck!”
As Namjoon watched the youngest out of the men walk out, he decided he would get dressed himself, and get his frustration out with the punching bag at their designated workout area. Watching as he met you at the door to the villa. You were wearing a simple gray summer dress and it complimented your skin tone beautifully.
Jungkook was a little confused on why Namjoon was so adamantly upset at him, but he couldn’t worry about him right now, not when he was so excited to see you. You were incredibly nice to him when he arrived, and your conversation had been so wonderful when he’d pulled you aside. You talked about so many things, where you were from, what you did for work, what your goals were.
“I’m a tattoo artist! I’ve drawn most of the pieces I’ve gotten done,” he took off the shirt he was wearing, the white tank top underneath being the only thing keeping you from seeing his abs. His sleeve was beautiful, so incredibly colorful and full of life, he explained most of his tattoos, including the ones that were meant as cover-ups for others. Your eyes got lost in the way his muscles flexed as they trailed up his arm, eventually your gaze ended up meeting his.
He had stars in his eyes, and his smile seemed so incredibly genuine, he cocked his head to the side as he stared at you, “can I ask you something?” you nodded, “do you and Namjoon hyung have something going on? I don’t want to move forward with pursuing you if you are not available,” the question left you a bit stunned and you thought it through before deciding to trust Jungkook with the truth.
“We’ve had some serious sexual tension since we got here,” you admitted, “no one knows this but we actually fucked on our second night here,” the pretty man in front of you deflated a bit, and then it seemed to hit him, “so, not even the weird cone thing knows?”
“I mean she probably knows now,” you chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, after that we agreed not to tell anyone, and we started building a friendship, I started sort of catching feelings, and I thought he was too, he would do little nice things for me, and then say something mean after,” you sighed, “so I’m not sure about him as person.”
Jungkook was a great listener, he stayed quiet and gave you his undivided attention the entire time you were talking, and now he sat pensive, looking up at the stars as he tried to come up with something to tell you, “I think you are really cool, Yn, and I think you deserve someone who will want you in every way, not just because you’re stunning” you blushed slightly at his words, “I would love to get to know you better and explore something with you, but if you want Namjoon that badly, then I don’t want to get hurt, going after girls who are emotionally unavailable or attached to someone else is exactly why I’ve become a man whore.”
You were shocked at his candor and honesty, but it endeared you to him and made you envy him. Why couldn’t you have your shit together? Why were your boundaries so unclear? Worst of all, a pretty guy who had treated you with nothing but respect wanted you… but your feelings for Namjoon were more, from the small coffee offering to conversations he would have with you about books you both had read, to deep conversations about each other’s life.
“You are a good person Jungkook.”
“But I’m not the kind of person you want.” You gave him a saddened smile, “I’m fine with being your friend Ynie, you are a good person too, and in time Namjoon will realize it too,” the night continued on with so much laughter, Jungkook felt like a long lost friend, and you were happy that life had brought him to you.
Namjoon was not happy. The people in the villa watched as he beat the absolute shit out of the punching bag in front of him, his jaw was clenched, and his mind was playing all the possibilities of what may happen on your date with Jungkook.
Did you do any of the things you'd done with him? Did you kiss him? Did you like him? Will you come back with a stronger connection and leave him to rot?
If you did he wouldn't blame you, he deserves every one of those things, especially after the way he'd treated you, all hot and cold. It truly isn't his fault, so many strings of wrong relationships, with the last one being a constant cycle of toxicity and gaslighting, which Namjoon can now admit he was a part of. Him and his last partner weren't good for each other, but they loved each other so intensely they didn't want to let go.
Love hard, hurt harder, you know?
He heard your unmistakable laughter along with his, and he started punching his bag harder. How long had he been standing here punching this poor bag? He didn't care, currently he was imagining Jungkook’s head on a stake.
“Namjoon?” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he turned his gaze toward, whilst still in a punching stance, “can we talk?” Namjoon straightened up at that. He kinda liked the way you were checking how sweaty his body was, he didn't like your sudden frown however.
“Your knuckles are bleeding.” 
Were they? Surely he wasn't punching the bag that long that hard. But when he pulled up his hands to look at the damage he couldn't help but cackle.
“I guess they are.”
“Why don't you go take care of them and then we can talk, hmm?” You gave him a tight, close-lipped smile.
Fuck no.
There was no way he was letting you leave after you were the reason he'd been punching this bag, not when he'd spent the last however long wondering, overthinking, what you and Jungkook would possibly be doing. There was simply no way. It was almost a reflex the way his hand wrapped around your wrist, you barely had time to look at him before he pulled you away to a secluded corner of the villa, cornering you against the wall with both of his arms caging you in, droplets of sweat all over his body. 
It was crazy, the way your body seemed to respond so quickly to him, he heard the small whimper, and saw how you put your legs together, and fuck sake the way you were looking at him was like you were begging him to…
He wanted to do this right though. He moved away slightly, giving you some space to breathe, “what'd you wanna talk about Yn?”
“My date with Jungkook went well,” okay maybe not what he was expecting.
“Good for you?”
���I think we'll be great friends, him and I,” Namjoon suddenly felt himself taking a deep breath of relief. “Really?” The space he'd given you was gone again.
He hoped you could see just how affected he also was by you, how his own dick was stirring, having your body so close, having you so close. You must’ve sat there staring at each other for a few minutes, Namjoon’s gaze going back and forth between your lips and your eyes, there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do to you, with you. He leaned in slowly, your height difference making him bend down slightly, your eyes fluttered shut and he stopped just close enough that your noses were brushing together, you were so beautiful. Before you could ask him what was taking him so long he connected your lips in a delicious, passionate kiss, your tongues explored each other’s mouths and your hands held onto his shoulders.
Namjoon was the first to pull away, only to move his kisses down to your jaw and eventually your neck, causing you to let out little moans, they were the prettiest sound to Namjoon. He found himself reaching for the shorts you had worn under your gray dress, “may I take these off?” he asked, his eyes hooded and filled with want, all you could do was let out a pathetically high-pitched ‘yes’. He hooked his thumbs at the waistband, dragging your underwear down with it, he watched them pool at your feet and then knelt down, “is this okay?” you felt his breath against your center, making you squirm slightly.
“Yes.”
He dove right in, licking the length of your slit, groaning at how aroused you were and he had barely done anything to you. He moved on to your clit, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking gently, causing your moans to become slightly louder, “you gotta keep quiet for me baby,” he instructed you when he briefly pulled away to catch his breath, the sight of the lower half of his face glistening with your wetness making you almost want to orgasm right then. He started eating you out again, this time adding his fingers to the mix, and you had to cover your mouth to make sure your moans wouldn’t be heard all over the villa. You felt yourself closer and closer to your climax and Namjoon could too, your walls squeezed his fingers tightly almost as if wanting to keep them prisoner, and he wanted nothing more than to replace them with his cock, especially because it was so painfully hard. You wanted that too, you wanted nothing more than for this to go all the way, but you felt that in order for what you wanted to work, things had to be different.
“Namjoon, stop” he immediately moved away from you, gently removing his fingers. You took a moment to catch your breath, as he slowly pulled up your shorts and underwear and fixed your dress for you, “did I hurt you?” he asked, holding your hips, looking genuinely concerned at your sudden request. He had an almost boyish charm when this side of him was shown to you, so sweet, so gentleman-like, why would he not be like this always?
“No, I just,” you sighed, putting your hands on his chest, “I like you Namjoon, I would like for us to try and get to know each other, for us to get the chance to see if this could go anywhere, but I’m not sure if that’s what you want, and I need to know, because I don’t want to be pining for someone that just wants me for sex.”
Your confession surprised him, he hadn’t thought that all your conversations and your sexual tension would lead to anything more than maybe a friends with benefits kind of situation. However, considering how he's been reacting to the possibility of you and Jungkook together, maybe he did want to explore more.
“I'd love to get to know you more Ynie,” he flashed his dimpled smile at you, and you felt your heart fluttering. Jumping into his arms for a hug in which Namjoon made sure to hold you extra tight. Maybe this was the beginning of his healing.
(Day 27)
The rest of the stay at the villa was great for you two, Namjoon was so very thoughtful, he made you fresh coffee every morning, and you guys had a reading date every afternoon, where you shared the big love seat by the pool, laying back on his chest as he held whatever book you were reading in front of both of you.
People weren't too happy once Lana deducted the money for your offense after your date with Jungkook, and they were even more distraught when they found out what shenanigans you'd been up to on your second night there, you had lost them so much money the price money was down to forty-five thousand dollars. Jihee almost jumped you, thankfully Jungkook was there to hold her back. Speaking of, you ended up having another girl show up, a sweet blonde named Maddie who immediately caught Jungkook’s attention. It was great seeing your friend happy. You guys would have chats by the pool when you got a chance and update each other on the happenings of your relationships. 
Lana had also been a bit more liberal by giving you all bracelets, when they lit up you’d be allowed to kiss the other person, this would only happen if your emotional connection had been proven to strong and genuine.
Although you and Namjoon were still very much in the eyes of everyone, “getting to know each other,” that would all change three days before you left the villa. You honestly had no clue when he had the time, but when Lana announced you were going on a date with Namjoon, everyone seemed to be beaming at the idea. He told you to dress nice. So you opted for a two-piece white set, with a loose halter top, white loose shorts, and wedges. Turns out you were going on a boat ride.
“Oh my god Joon,” you beamed as he helped you sit down at the front of the boat, where an assortment of sushi was waiting for you. You sailed along, enjoying the sun on your skin, and the beautiful man that kept feeding you sushi, especially since even if he tried to show you how to use chopsticks you still couldn’t keep the sushi in your grasp for long. You talked some more about life, and you ended up opening up to one another.
“My last relationship was like, three years ago,” he started, “she basically only wanted me for my money, but I didn’t really notice, I just wanted to love and be loved, and I thought that I was being good, I spoiled her, gave her everything and she still cheated on me, so I swore off relationships and became a man-whore,” he chuckled bitterly. “My last relationship was four years ago, it was very toxic, he basically made me feel bad for not always wanting to be on his dick, or because I spent time with my friends and not him, he went around telling everyone our business but always left out how awful he was to me.” You had been staring at the horizon, the sun slowly setting bringing golden hour to you.
“Eventually when we broke up, he tried getting back together with me, and when I said no, he started shit-talking my friends and myself, and all I could do was watch as they got tired of dealing with me and my drama, so now I only had my sister to rely on,” you felt Namjoon’s hand on your cheek, he watched with sorrowful expression, “you were crying.”
“I swore off relationships after that too, I have never felt more alone than during that time, and I didn’t want to feel like that again.”
“I know at first I didn’t do the best job at not making you feel that way, but I hope I can help you feel less lonely,” Namjoon said, still caressing your cheeks, you felt your wrist vibrate, seeing the big green checkmark on your watch, Namjoon had the same. You were ready to lean in to kiss him, but he stopped you.
“Before we kiss,” he started, “getting to know you has been amazing, I find myself learning some much about myself and slowly coming back to who I was before all the bullshit. I want us to be real, I want to go back to the real world and make it work with you, would you be my girlfriend Ynie?” Your cheeks hurt from how wide you were smiling, you never really thought of yourself getting back into a relationship, you had sworn you were too damaged for something like that, but maybe this was the start to your healing. “I want to make it work in the real world too, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” his dimpled smile gave you butterflies, and as his other hand reached your cheek to fully cup your face, he closed the space between you with a kiss that had been different from the ones before, the others were hungry, desperate, and horny, this one was slow, passionate, and breath-taking. You felt your wrist vibrate again, making you pull away much to your dismay.
“I’m excited for the outside world together,” his gaze was sweet and soft, something you had never seen. He laid back, opening his arms up so you could cuddle.
“Me too,” you smiled, quickly moving your picnic stuff out of the way and scooting over, you laid your head on his chest, you heard his heart beating so fast and so loud, “your heart is about to beat out of your chest,” you giggled.
“I was so fucking nervous,” you looked up at him, “but I am happy I think, hopefully we’ll make it through.”
Fingers crossed.
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hisfavegirl · 10 days ago
Text
Closure - Aemond Targaryen x Wife!Reader.
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summary : Aemond was consumed by his anger and hatred, leaving you alone and lonely once again. You made a risky decision and put your life in danger.
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It had been days since you locked yourself away in your chambers. The weight of grief, guilt, and exhaustion pressed down on you like a crushing wave. The once lively space around you now felt suffocatingly silent, broken only by the occasional knock from Alicent or the maids bringing in food you barely touched.
Aemond had yet to return. Each day you glanced at the door, hoping he would walk in, his presence a balm to your frayed nerves. But he never did. You tried not to think about it too much, but the ache of his absence settled deep in your chest.
Then came the news. Whispers of it echoed through the halls, carried on the hurried voices of servants and the low murmurs of guards.
One of the men responsible for Jaehaerys’s death had been captured.
He called himself “Blood.” The name alone made your heart clench with dread. Rumors spread like wildfire — Blood had confessed under interrogation. He claimed he and his partner, “Cheese,” had been hired by none other than Daemon Targaryen. Their orders were clear and cruel: Kill a child of the Greens as payment for the death of Lucerys Velaryon.
The words struck you like a physical blow. Your breath hitched, and your hand flew to your stomach, the phantom ache of your lost child flaring to life. Blood for blood. Son for son. It was justice in the eyes of Daemon, but for you, it was nothing more than horror and senseless cruelty.
Your mind spiraled. Did my mother know? Did she agree to this? The thought sent a sharp pang through your chest. Memories of your childhood with Rhaenyra flashed in your mind, of how she used to hold you close, call you her little flower. But that image clashed with the Rhaenyra who had sent assassins after children.
It didn’t matter that it was Daemon who ordered it. Daemon and Rhaenyra were one.
Tears welled in your eyes, a mix of anger, sorrow, and betrayal. You pressed a hand against your mouth, stifling the sob that threatened to escape. You thought of Helaena, of how she cradled her children every night, whispering soft lullabies to them. You thought of Jaehaera’s hollow, haunted eyes after witnessing her brother’s murder. You thought of Maelor, too small to understand but forever scarred.
A knock at your door pulled you from your thoughts. This time, it was not a servant. It was Alicent. Her voice was gentle but firm.
“Please, my dear. Let me in,” she said softly, but there was urgency beneath her calm tone. “We need to speak.”
You hesitated for a moment before slowly walking to the door. You unlocked it and stepped back. Alicent entered, her eyes filled with concern, her face weary from sleepless nights. She approached you carefully, like one might approach a wounded animal.
“They caught him,” you said before she could speak, your voice hollow. “He confessed. He said it was Daemon.”
Alicent’s lips pressed into a thin line. She nodded slowly, her gaze dropping to the floor. “Yes. He did.”
Silence fell between you, heavy and suffocating. The weight of loss, of betrayal, of helplessness hung in the air like a storm cloud.
“Do you hate me?” you asked suddenly, your voice breaking. “For being her daughter?”
Alicent’s eyes shot up, wide with shock. She stepped forward and cupped your face in her hands, her touch gentle but unyielding. “No,” she said firmly, her eyes searching yours with fierce determination. “You are not her. You are not her. Do you hear me?” Her thumbs brushed away your tears. “I see you for who you are. A kind, loving girl who has suffered far too much. None of this is your fault.”
Her words broke something in you. You crumpled into her arms, and she held you tight, like she had done so many times before. But this time, it felt different. This time, it felt like she wasn’t just holding you up — she was anchoring you to the world.
You remained for a moment, lost in the embrace of Alicent’s comforting presence, the weight of her words settling in your chest. She was a lifeline, a thread of reassurance in the storm that was your life. But before long, she gently pulled away, her face now etched with determination.
“I must go to the council,” she said, her voice soft but resolute. “There are decisions to be made, and I cannot delay any longer.”
You nodded in silence as she made her way to the door, her footsteps heavy with purpose. As the door closed softly behind her, you remained seated, your thoughts racing. The raw pain of everything you had lost, the children, the life you thought you would have — it all felt like too much. But you couldn’t stay in this room forever.
Rising from your bed, you walked toward your wardrobe, your feet feeling heavy with the weight of everything that had happened. Reaching into the cabinet, you pulled out the dark, soft hooded cloak that you had set aside earlier. The familiar weight of it comforted you, grounding you in a way that the endless grief could not.
You paused for a moment, staring at the cloak in your hands. The fabric was rich, a deep shade of black, embroidered with small patterns of silver threads that glimmered faintly in the dim light of the room.
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. A moment of clarity broke through the fog of sorrow. You needed to find a way to move forward. To find your place in this world of treachery and shifting allegiances.
Tying the cloak securely around your shoulders, you made your way toward the door, your mind still heavy with questions. What would this council meeting bring? What would the repercussions be for your mother’s involvement in the death of your nephew?
With each step, your resolve solidified. You would not allow yourself to be a passive observer in this game of power. Whatever was to come, you would face it — head held high.
You moved cautiously through the halls, your footsteps light and calculated. The heavy weight of your heart still lingered, but you focused on your goal, trying to push aside the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm you. Your hands gripped the edges of your cloak, tightening the fabric around your face, concealing yourself as best as you could.
You hoped the deep hood would mask your identity, that the shadows would keep you hidden. The last thing you needed right now was to be noticed. The corridors were mostly empty, the soft echoes of your footsteps the only sound that filled the space as you moved with swift determination.
Every corner you turned felt like a risk, but there was no turning back now. You had to get to the gates, to find a way to leave the Red Keep without anyone knowing. The weight of your own emotions mixed with the dangerous path you were now walking.
Soon, you reached the grand doors of the Red Keep’s outer walls, and you hesitated, glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one had followed you. The quietness of the moment made your heart race as you stepped toward the gates. You hoped the night would cover your tracks, that no one would question your sudden disappearance.
As you approached the gate, your nerves were at their peak, but you kept your head down and continued forward, trusting the shadows to protect you for just a little longer.
You moved through the dimly lit streets of King’s Landing, each step taking you further from the safety of the Red Keep and deeper into the unknown. The weight of your decision pressed heavily on your chest, but your resolve to reach Dragonstone and find your mother. The cold night air bit at your skin, but you ignored it, focusing on the path ahead.
The sounds of the bustling city faded as you neared the harbor, the scent of saltwater and the creak of ships in the distance filling the air. Your heart beat faster, the familiar feeling of uncertainty creeping in, but you pushed it aside. This was something you had to do, for yourself and for the future.
You approached one of the docked ships, a small vessel with a weathered crew. The captain, an older man with a hardened face, eyed you warily as you walked up. You didn’t hesitate, offering him the coins in your hand. “Take me to Dragonstone,” you said firmly, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions inside you.
He regarded you for a moment before nodding, accepting the payment. “Aye, that can be arranged,” he muttered. “But it’s not a short journey, and there’ll be no turning back once we’re out on the water.”
You nodded in agreement, your resolve unwavering. This was your only chance. As you boarded the ship and the crew prepared to set sail, you glanced one last time at the distant lights of King’s Landing, unsure of what awaited you, but certain that this was the right choice.
The ship began to pull away from the docks, and you could feel the weight of the journey ahead, but also a strange sense of freedom, as if, for the first time in a long while, you were in control of your own fate.
You stood at the edge of the ship, gazing out at the vast, endless sea before you. The gentle crash of the waves and the salty breeze brushed against your face, carrying with it a sense of bittersweet calm. For a moment, you closed your eyes and let the wind surround you, as if it could blow away the ache that still lingered in your heart.
Your hand slowly drifted to your abdomen, fingers lightly tracing the place where life had once grown within you. The pain of that loss was still fresh, sharp as the sting of cold sea air, and for a moment, it felt unbearable. You bit your lip, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. Was this punishment? Was this fate? The questions swirled in your mind, unanswered and unrelenting.
Your thoughts shifted to Aemond and Alicent. You could still see Aemond’s face the night he found you bleeding, the way his eyes had filled with something beyond grief—regret, guilt, and something deeper. You could hear Alicent’s voice as she cradled you, whispering words of comfort like a mother soothing her child. They had stayed by your side, and now you had left them with no warning, no explanation. Guilt gnawed at your heart like a slow, unyielding burn.
But your resolve was firm. You had made your choice. You had to see your mother. Why did she send them? you thought, gripping the edge of the ship tighter. Why did she send Blood and Cheese to slaughter children in revenge? You needed to hear it from her own lips. You needed to understand why this bloodshed had been necessary, why your brother’s death had to be repaid with such horror.
The wind howled softly as the ship rocked gently beneath your feet. Your eyes remained locked on the horizon, where the sea met the sky in a line as sharp and endless as fate itself. You didn’t know what you would find at Dragonstone. You didn’t know if you would be welcomed or cast aside. But you knew you couldn’t turn back now.
For better or worse, you were no longer just a pawn in this war. You had made a choice, and soon, you would face whatever waited for you on that distant, stormy shore.
Aemond’s boots thudded heavily against the stone floors as he marched through the corridors of the Red Keep, his breathing sharp and uneven. His hair was still tousled from the ride, his face lined with exhaustion, but his pace never slowed. The only thing on his mind was you.
He reached your shared chambers, pushing the door open with more force than necessary. His eye scanned the room quickly, searching for the familiar sight of you — sitting by the fire, resting on the bed, or perhaps simply standing by the window. But none of that greeted him. The room was empty.
His brows drew together, and he stepped inside, his gaze darting to every corner. “Love?” he called, his voice firm but laced with unease. Silence answered him. No warmth of your presence, no reply from your voice.
His eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. He strode to the side chamber, then to the dressing room. Nothing. You weren’t there. His breathing grew heavier, his movements faster. He checked behind the bed curtains, even glanced toward the window as if expecting to see you outside, but still, there was no sign of you.
“My love!” he called louder, his voice carrying a sharp edge of frustration. He stepped back into the hallway, his gaze darting left and right. His mind churned with possibilities. Did she go to see Alicent? Did she go to visit Helaena? But doubt crept in. You would have told him if you planned to leave. You always told him.
Aemond’s heart pounded faster as he moved with renewed urgency, his steps now echoing with force. His frustration turned to unease, and unease began to fester into dread. Servants flinched out of his way as he stormed down the corridor.
“You,” he barked at a passing maid. The girl froze, eyes wide with fear. “Have you seen her? Have you seen my wife?”
The girl shook her head frantically. “N-No, my prince. I… I saw her last night, but not since then.”
Aemond’s lips pressed into a hard, thin line. His gaze flickered with cold calculation. He didn’t waste another word on her and spun on his heel, continuing his search. He checked Helaena’s chambers, the sept, the library — each room more frustrating than the last. She was nowhere to be found.
His patience snapped when he returned to the Great Hall. His hand slammed against the table with a loud bang, making the maids jump in fear. His eye was wild now, his mind spiraling with dark thoughts. Did someone take her? Did she run away? No. No, she wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t leave me. She wouldn’t leave.
Just then, the heavy sound of footsteps echoed from behind him. Alicent entered, her eyes weary from the hours spent in council meetings. She tilted her head in confusion at the sight of her son, disheveled and tense like a lion ready to strike.
“Aemond,” Alicent’s voice was steady but curious. “What’s the matter? Why are you in such a state?”
Aemond’s head snapped toward her, his face a mask of barely controlled panic and fury. “She’s gone,” he muttered, his voice low but dangerous. “She’s not in our chambers. She’s not anywhere.”
The words hit Alicent like a slap. Her eyes widened, her calm demeanor fracturing. “What do you mean she’s gone?” she asked sharply, stepping forward. “Did you check the gardens? The library? Perhaps she’s with Helaena and the children—”
“She’s not there,” Aemond cut her off, his voice louder now. His breathing was shallow, his chest rising and falling with each sharp inhale. “I searched everywhere. She’s gone, Mother.”
Alicent’s eyes darted around, her mind racing as she processed his words. Her breathing quickened, panic seeping into her voice. “Did anyone see her leave? Did anyone see her go to the harbor or the gates?”
“I don’t know,” Aemond hissed, his frustration boiling over. He raked a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands as he paced. “If she left, someone would have seen her. Someone had to have seen her.” His words were more for himself than for his mother. He turned to one of the guards stationed nearby. “Find the captain of the gates. Find every guard who was posted today. Now.”
The guards exchanged nervous glances before bowing and running off to follow his orders.
Alicent moved closer to Aemond, placing a gentle hand on his arm. Her eyes were filled with concern, not just for you but for him. “We will find her, Aemond. She could not have gone far.”
But her reassurance did nothing to calm him. His breathing was still harsh, his eye darting back and forth like a trapped animal searching for an escape. His fingers flexed at his sides, hands itching for something to grip — a sword, a throat, anything to release the pressure building in his chest.
“She wouldn’t leave me,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper now, his eye fixed on the floor. “She wouldn’t.”
Alicent frowned. “Of course not, my son. She loves you.”
But Aemond wasn’t listening anymore. His mind was already moving ahead, calculating every possible reason for your absence. If someone took her, they would pay. If she left, she would be found. If she ran from me… His nails bit into his palms as his fists curled tightly.
“Mother,” he said slowly, lifting his head to look Alicent in the eyes. The weight of his gaze was heavy, filled with something more dangerous than panic — certainty. “If she left… I will bring her back myself.”
Alicent’s breath caught in her throat at the intensity in his voice. She knew that look. It was the same look she’d seen in him the night of the incident at Storm’s End. It was the look of a man who had already decided what he would do, no matter the cost.
After a long and exhausting journey, the ship finally reached the rocky shores of Dragonstone. The salty sea air filled your lungs as you stepped off the ship, your boots crunching against the rough stones of the beach. The crash of waves echoed behind you, but it was the sight ahead that captured your attention.
The guards were everywhere. Their sharp gazes followed your every movement as you pulled down your hood, revealing your face. Their eyes widened slightly in recognition, but none of them moved to stop you.
“I wish to see my mother,” you said firmly, your voice cutting through the cold air like a blade.
One of the guards nodded, gesturing for you to follow. The path leading up to the fortress was steep, each step heavier than the last. Your heart thudded in your chest, a storm of emotions brewing within you — grief, anger, and something colder, something sharper.
As you reached the main courtyard, you saw them.
Her.
Him.
Your mother, Rhaenyra, stood at the top of the stone steps, her silver hair glinting like molten silver in the dim light. Her eyes locked onto you, wide with surprise and then something softer, something closer to relief. But she was not alone.
Daemon.
He stood beside her, his presence as commanding as ever. His gaze was piercing, his face unreadable as he watched you approach. His hand rested casually on the hilt of his sword, Dark Sister, and his stance was one of ease — as if he had not a single regret in the world.
But you were no longer a child seeking safety. Not anymore.
Your steps quickened, your breath coming faster as anger surged in your chest. Your heart felt as if it would burst from the weight of it all. Your eyes fixed on Daemon, and before either of them could speak, you let your voice ring out like thunder.
“How could you?!” Your words echoed across the courtyard, and the guards turned to look. Your voice was raw, sharp with fury and pain. “How could you be so cruel, Daemon?! To kill Helaena’s children? To kill my child?”
Silence.
Rhaenyra’s eyes widened, her face frozen in shock. Her lips parted as if she wanted to speak, but no words came out. Her gaze shifted slowly to Daemon.
Daemon’s expression didn’t change. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t look away. He stood there, unmoving, his violet eyes fixed on you like a predator watching prey.
“What nonsense is this?” Daemon’s voice was calm, too calm, like the eerie stillness before a storm. He tilted his head slightly, a hint of curiosity in his gaze. “You come here throwing accusations, but you’ve yet to say anything that makes sense.”
“Don’t play innocent with me, Daemon!” you snapped, your voice cracking with the weight of your grief. “Blood and Cheese. Does that sound familiar? Because it should. They said they were sent by you!” Your chest heaved with every breath as tears welled in your eyes. “They said it was revenge for Luke. But it wasn’t just Jaehaerys they took. They took my child too.” Your voice broke on the last word, raw and filled with pain.
Rhaenyra’s gaze darted to you, her face contorted with shock and confusion. “What child?” she asked, stepping toward you, her voice rising with urgency. “What are you talking about?”
But you didn’t look at her. Your eyes stayed locked on Daemon. “I was pregnant,” you hissed, your nails digging into your palms. “I was going to tell Grandsire that night before he died. But I never got the chance. I lost the baby because of them. Because of you.” Your eyes narrowed into slits, your voice filled with venom. “I hope you’re proud.”
For the first time, something flickered in Daemon’s eyes. It was not guilt. Not sorrow. But something sharper. Realization.
“That child was mine to protect,” you continued, stepping forward until you were mere feet away from him. “It was mine and Aemond’s. And you took it from us.”
Rhaenyra’s breath hitched. Her gaze darted back to Daemon, her eyes narrowing, her mouth pressed into a hard, thin line. “Daemon,” she said slowly, her voice trembling with a mixture of confusion and growing suspicion. “Is this true? Did you—”
“Enough.” Daemon’s voice cut through the air like the crack of a whip. His eyes snapped to Rhaenyra, his jaw set in a hard line. “Don’t look at me like that, Rhaenyra.” His gaze returned to you, colder now, sharp as broken glass. “I did what had to be done. Blood for blood.” He stepped forward, his presence overwhelming, like a shadow growing larger. “Do you know what I see when I look at you?” he asked quietly, his eyes narrowing. “I see a girl blinded by love. Do you know what Aemond sees? A pawn. A piece on the board to be moved at his whim. He doesn’t love you. He loves control.”
His words struck like daggers, but you didn’t falter. Your feet stayed firmly planted, and your eyes met his with unwavering resolve.
“You think this was justice?” you asked, your voice low and dangerous. “You think slaughtering an innocent child is justice?”
“Luke was innocent,” Daemon snapped back, stepping closer until you could see the cold fury in his eyes. “Was he not? When Aemond took his life, did you cry for him too? Did you weep for your brother the way you weep for Helaena’s son? No.” His lips curled into a sneer. “You weep now because it suits you.”
Tears streamed down your face, but your eyes stayed sharp as steel. “Luke’s death was an accident, Daemon,” you hissed, your voice low and filled with venom. “Even Aemond didn’t want it to happen. But what you did—” Your voice broke. “You planned it. You watched it happen. You sent monsters to kill a boy and my unborn child. You had no mercy.”
“That is where you are wrong,” Daemon said quietly, his face deadly calm. “I had all the mercy in the world. If it were me in that room, I would have killed them all. Jaehaerys. Jaehaera. Maelor. All of them.” He stepped back, his gaze turning colder still. “Because that is how you win a war.”
“This isn’t war, Daemon!” Rhaenyra’s voice thundered across the courtyard, her eyes filled with fury as she stepped between the two of you. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “This is slaughter! You took my daughter’s unborn child. You butchered my sister children. This is not how we win. This is how we lose.”
For a moment, Daemon said nothing. He stared at Rhaenyra as if he were seeing her for the first time. “Everything I do, I do for us,” he said softly, his eyes locked with hers. “For you.”
“You did it for yourself,” Rhaenyra spat, her eyes filled with disgust. “Don’t hide behind me, Daemon. If you wanted blood, you could have spilt it yourself. But you didn’t. You hid in the shadows. You sent monsters to do the deed.” She stepped closer to him, her face inches from his. “You will answer for this.”
He tilted his head, his eyes glinting with danger. “You’d condemn me? Me? After all I’ve done for you?” His smile was slow, sharp, and dangerous. “No, my love. You will not.”
Rhaenyra’s eyes darkened, and for a moment, she looked every bit the dragon she was born to be. “Watch me.”
Daemon’s gaze shifted to you once more. His eyes were filled with something cold and ancient, like something far older than men. “Be careful, girl,” he said softly, his voice like a shadow brushing against your ear. “You’re playing a dangerous game. And in games like these, the innocent die first.”
He walked away, his footsteps echoing across the stone.
Your heart pounded as you watched him leave. Your breathing was shallow, your hands trembling at your sides. You felt Rhaenyra’s hand on your shoulder, her grip firm but gentle.
“I will not let him harm you again,” she said quietly, her voice firm with quiet resolve. “He will pay for what he has done.”
You didn’t respond. Your eyes stayed fixed on Daemon’s retreating form, watching him disappear into the darkness.
But one thing was certain.
You would never forget.
And you would never forgive.
You stared at your mother, her figure strong yet filled with a quiet sadness as she stood at the top of the stone steps. Her eyes pleaded with you, her voice soft but firm.
“Stay,” she said, her tone heavy with both authority and love. “Stay here with me. I will protect you. No harm will come to you under this roof.”
Her words hung in the cold air like a gentle lullaby, but they did not bring you peace. Your gaze dropped to the ground, your eyes filled with unshed tears. You shook your head slowly, each movement more certain than the last.
“No,” you whispered, lifting your head to meet her gaze. “No, Mother.” You took a step back, your breath shaky but your resolve unshaken.
Her brows knitted together in confusion, her hands reaching out slightly as if to pull you back. “Please,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion. “You don’t have to go back there. You don’t have to suffer alone.”
Your heart ached, the pain of loss and betrayal still fresh in your chest. The weight of it pressed down on you, suffocating and relentless. You glanced away from her, your eyes distant as you stared at the endless sea.
“Maybe the debt of blood was never truly even,” you murmured, your voice hollow, each word sharper than any blade. Your gaze lifted back to hers, your eyes filled with something far colder than before. “You only lost Luke.”
Rhaenyra’s eyes widened, her breath hitching as if you had struck her.
“But I…” your voice trembled as you placed a hand on your stomach, feeling the phantom ache where life had once stirred. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you did not let them fall. Your voice hardened like steel. “I lost Jaehaerys. I lost the child I carried in my womb.”
Her lips parted in shock, her face stricken with pain. She stepped forward, but you took another step back, your eyes sharp like broken glass.
“Two lives for one,” you continued, bitterness lacing every word. “How is that justice, Mother? How is that fair?”
Her hand dropped, and for the first time, you saw something break inside her. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came. Guilt, regret, and sorrow warred on her face, but none of it could change the past. None of it could bring them back.
You turned away from her, your feet crunching against the stone as you walked away. Each step echoed louder than the last. The cold wind from the sea whipped at your cloak, your hood falling back to reveal your tear-streaked face. Your steps were heavy, but you did not stop.
“Wait,” Rhaenyra’s voice wavered, thick with desperation. “Please. Don’t leave like this.”
But you didn’t turn around. You didn’t look back.
Not this time.
“Don’t let this hate consume you,” she begged, her voice barely above a whisper but loud enough to reach your ears.
Your steps slowed, just for a moment.
“Hate?” you repeated, your voice bitter with a hollow laugh. “You taught me hate, Mother.” Your eyes glanced at the stormy sea ahead. “You taught me that blood must pay for blood.”
Your hands curled into fists, your nails digging into your palms until they ached. “Now I know what that truly means.”
You took another step forward, ready to leave Dragonstone behind.
But then—
“Wait!”
The voice that called you wasn’t Rhaenyra’s. It wasn’t Daemon’s.
It was Jacaerys.
You froze in place, your body going rigid at the sound of his voice. The sound of his footsteps echoed behind you as he hurried down the steps. He was close now, too close.
“Please,” he said, his breath ragged from running. “Please, don’t go.”
You clenched your jaw, your heart twisting with emotions you could barely control. Slowly, you turned to face him.
There he was. Jace.
His face was filled with desperation, his brows furrowed deeply, his eyes fixed on you as if looking away would shatter you like glass. His breath came in sharp puffs, his chest heaving as he tried to catch it.
“Don’t do this,” Jace said, his voice quieter now but no less firm. “Don’t leave like this. Stay. Please, just stay.”
Your eyes met his, filled with so many emotions that you could barely breathe — grief, rage, love, and the bitter ache of betrayal.
“You want me to stay?” you said, your voice eerily calm. “Did you stay when they killed my child? Did you stay when they killed Helaena’s son? Tell me, Jace. Where were you?”
His lips parted, but no answer came. He looked away, his eyes filled with shame.
“You didn’t come for me then,” you said, your voice cracking. “Don’t ask me to stay now.”
His eyes snapped back to you, his face contorting in frustration. “I didn’t know,” he said, his voice shaking with raw emotion. “I didn’t know what Daemon had done. If I had known—”
“—You would have stopped it?” you finished, eyes narrowing. “You would have saved them? No, Jace. You wouldn’t have. You follow Daemon like a loyal hound, and you know it.” You stepped forward, jabbing a finger at his chest. “Don’t you dare stand there and pretend you’re innocent.”
He didn’t move, didn’t push you away. He took it all, his face falling into something close to defeat.
“You’re right,” he said quietly, his eyes locked on yours. “You’re right.” His voice was low, filled with pain. “I didn’t stop it. I didn’t stop him. I didn’t know.” He took a breath, his gaze searching yours. “But I know now.”
Silence hung between you, heavy and suffocating. The crashing waves below filled the stillness like thunder.
Jace lowered his head, his eyes closed for a moment as if gathering his thoughts. When he opened them, they were filled with something new. Resolve.
“I can’t undo what’s been done,” he said, stepping closer to you. His eyes stayed on yours, steady and unwavering. “But I can stop it from happening again. I swear it. I will make Daemon answer for what he did. I’ll stand with you. If you’ll let me.”
His words hung in the air like a fragile thread. You stared at him, searching his face for lies, but all you saw was raw honesty. Guilt. Regret. Shame.
But also something more.
“Why should I trust you?” you asked, your voice hollow but sharp.
Jace’s eyes burned with defiance. “I am your brother.” His voice was hard, fierce, unyielding. He stepped closer until he was only a breath away. “I can’t change the past, but I can fight for you now. I swear it on my life.”
For a moment, you said nothing.
The cold wind tugged at your cloak, carrying the salt of the sea with it. Your heart was heavy with doubt, grief, and anger, but as you stared at Jace, you saw something else.
A part of you still wanted to believe him.
But belief was dangerous. Trust was dangerous.
“Words are cheap, Jace,” you said softly, your eyes hard as steel. “Show me.”
His gaze didn’t falter. “I will.”
You stood there for a moment longer, letting the weight of his words settle into your heart. The ache of loss still throbbed in your chest, and your hand briefly hovered over your stomach, remembering what had been taken from you.
Finally, you turned your back on him once more, your heart colder than it had ever been.
“Then show me from afar,” you said, your voice quiet but firm. “Because I’m done standing in the shadow of dragons.”
You didn’t stop this time.
Not when you heard Rhaenyra call your name. Not when Jace called after you.
Not when you felt the tears burning in your eyes. You kept walking, your heart as cold as the sea wind.
Because blood had been paid with blood And the debt would never be even.
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You walked along the shores of Dragonstone, your steps slow and unsteady as the sand shifted beneath your feet. The waves crashed softly against the beach, the cool sea breeze brushing against your face. Your eyes stayed fixed on the endless horizon, thoughts swirling like a storm within you.
The weight of grief still sat heavy in your chest, but the gentle sound of the sea brought you a fleeting moment of calm. Each step left behind a mark in the sand, only to be washed away by the tide moments later. Just like everything else, you thought bitterly.
But then—
A sound.
A deep, resonating roar that echoed through the skies.
Your heart froze for a moment, your eyes snapping upward. It was loud, sharp, and familiar — a sound you knew better than any song. It rumbled through the air like thunder, causing the guards stationed at the cliffs to turn their heads in alarm.
Your gaze followed the source of the sound, and there, circling the skies, was your dragon.
Its silver-gray scales glinted against the dim light of the cloudy sky, and its large wings stretched wide like the sails of a great ship. The sight of it was enough to draw the breath from your lungs. Your dragon let out another deafening roar before diving downward in a spiral, heading straight toward you.
A soft smile tugged at the corners of your lips, your chest filling with something warm. It wasn’t much — just a spark of joy in the midst of all the pain — but it was enough to make you feel alive again. You were not alone.
The force of the wind swept around you as your dragon landed with a loud thud, its claws digging into the sand. The gust blew back your cloak, and you shielded your face from the stinging grains of sand in the air. Your dragon’s great head turned to you, its sharp eyes meeting yours with an intelligence far beyond that of any beast. It lowered its head, pressing its snout gently against your side.
You exhaled shakily, placing both hands on its warm, scaly snout, feeling the low rumble of its breath beneath your palms. It was like feeling the pulse of the earth itself.
“You found me,” you whispered softly, your voice trembling as you ran your hands over its snout. Your fingers traced the familiar grooves of its scales, the ridges you had touched so many times before. “You always find me, don’t you?”
Your dragon let out a low, soft growl in response, nudging you gently with its head. It was a silent promise, one it had made to you from the moment it bonded with you.
You stepped back, lifting your eyes to meet its gaze.
“Take me home,” you said, your voice steadier this time. There was no doubt, no hesitation. “Take me back to King’s Landing.”
The dragon lowered its body, its wings folding inward to give you an easy path to climb. You didn’t think twice. You grabbed hold of the leather reins and pulled yourself up, settling into the saddle with practiced ease. The warmth of the dragon’s body seeped into you, chasing away the cold that had lingered in your bones.
You took one last glance behind you. From the cliffs of Dragonstone, you could see the shadowy figures of your mother, Daemon, and Jace watching from above. Rhaenyra raised a hand, calling out your name, but you did not answer. You did not look back.
Not anymore.
You tapped the side of your dragon’s neck, and it let out a powerful roar that shook the air. Its wings spread wide, blocking out the gray sky above. With a powerful leap, your dragon launched into the air, the wind rushing past your ears as the ground fell away beneath you. The sea below became a blur of blue and white, the island of Dragonstone growing smaller and smaller behind you.
The cold air bit at your cheeks, the salt of the sea sharp on your tongue, but none of it mattered. The weight on your heart began to ease, replaced by the fierce certainty of purpose.
You would return to King’s Landing.
And this time, you would not be silent.
Aemond’s heart pounded in his chest, his mind consumed by a storm of fear and rage. His breath came in sharp, uneven bursts as he marched through the corridors of the Red Keep, his single eye scanning every shadow, every figure, every face. Servants cowered as he passed, too afraid to meet his gaze.
“Where is she?!” he barked at the guards stationed by the main gates. “Have you seen her?! Speak, or lose your tongues!”
The guards shook their heads, stammering apologies, but none could give him the answer he so desperately sought. His jaw clenched in frustration, his fists curling so tightly his nails dug into his palms. Where could you have gone? Why would you leave without a word? The thought alone was enough to drive him mad.
But then —
A roar.
His body went still, every muscle in him freezing at the familiar, thunderous sound that echoed through the skies. His heart skipped a beat as his head snapped upward. The roar cut through the air like the call of a war horn, commanding attention from all below. He knew that sound better than any other. It was your dragon.
His eye widened with realization, and he spun on his heel, running toward the nearest courtyard with the clearest view of the sky. His gaze locked on the figure above. High in the sky, your dragon soared, its powerful wings cutting through the clouds with ease. The silver-gray scales shimmered under the pale light, a flash of brilliance against the dull gray sky.
But it wasn’t the dragon that seized his attention. It was you.
There, atop your dragon, he saw you. Cloaked and hooded, your figure was unmistakable. His heart squeezed in his chest, equal parts relief and fury. He saw the direction your dragon was heading — not toward the sea, not toward the city — but toward the Dragonpit.
His mind raced. She’s coming back.
Without wasting another moment, he turned and sprinted toward the stables, his boots thudding hard against the stone. His breathing was sharp, uneven, but he didn’t stop. He had to reach you. He had to see you.
When he reached his horse, he barely gave the stable boy a glance, yanking the reins from the boy’s hands and mounting it in one smooth motion.
“Out of my way!” he snarled, spurring the horse forward with a sharp kick. The animal whinnied, rearing for a moment before galloping at full speed. The streets of King’s Landing blurred around him as he rode, his eye fixed on the path ahead. He didn’t care about the crowds he scattered or the shouts of merchants cursing him as they leapt from his path.
His mind was focused on one thing only: you.
The closer he got to the Dragonpit, the louder the sounds became — the roars of other dragons, the thundering of wings, and the growing buzz of people gathering to witness the arrival of a dragon. When he finally reached the base of the hill leading up to the Dragonpit, he dismounted with a reckless leap. He didn’t care that the horse hadn’t stopped moving. He didn’t care that his boots slid on the loose gravel.
He sprinted up the hill, his breathing sharp and harsh, his gaze locked on the entrance to the Dragonpit. His heart was a riot of emotions — anger, relief, confusion, desperation — all colliding at once. The only thing he knew for certain was that he had to see you. He had to know why.
When he reached the top, he stopped just short of the entrance, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. He looked around wildly, his eye scanning the pit. The great shadow of your dragon loomed ahead, its massive wings folding in as it settled on the ground. Dust and loose gravel still floated in the air from its landing. The other dragons within the pit roared in recognition, their calls echoing off the stone walls.
And then he saw you.
You slid down from the saddle, your movements slow but deliberate. Your hood was still up, but as you turned, the fabric slipped from your head, revealing your face. His breath caught in his throat.
You stood there, gazing at him with an unreadable expression. There was no anger, no sorrow, no relief. Just a cold, quiet stillness in your eyes.
He took a step forward, his breathing still uneven. His mouth opened, but for a moment, no words came out. His mind was a mess of confusion, worry, and disbelief. Finally, he found his voice.
“Where were you?” His voice was hoarse, his tone hard but not loud. “Where in the Seven Hells were you?”
You didn’t answer right away. Your gaze shifted toward the dragon behind you, your eyes softening for just a moment as you reached up to touch its snout. Slowly, you turned your eyes back to him.
“Dragonstone,” you said simply.
Aemond’s face twisted with disbelief, his eye narrowing. “You left?” he hissed, his voice sharper now. “You left without a word — without a guard — after everything that’s happened?” His tone rose with each word, his anger bleeding into every syllable. His eye darted down to your stomach for the briefest of moments, his gaze flickering with something raw and unspoken.
“You could have been killed,” he said, his voice low, dangerous. He took another step forward, his hands curling into fists at his sides. “Do you know what you’ve done to me? To my mother? I scoured the Keep for you, I—” He stopped himself, clenching his jaw so hard it ached.
But you didn’t flinch. You stood your ground, your eyes meeting his head-on. The air between you was tense, thick with words that neither of you had spoken.
“I went to see my mother,” you said, your tone even, but there was a cold edge to it. “I wanted to hear it from her lips. I wanted to know if she was the one who ordered it. Aemond’s eyes widened, realization dawning on him.
“I had to know,” you said through gritted teeth. “I had to know if my mother had a hand in murdering Helaena’s son—” Your voice broke for a moment, but you steadied yourself, lifting your chin. “—and our child.”
He winced, his gaze dropping to the ground for a second too long. Guilt hung heavy on his shoulders.
“What did she say?” he asked quietly, barely above a whisper.
You hesitated, your eyes flickering toward your dragon, as if drawing strength from its presence. When you looked back at him, your eyes were cold, harder than he’d ever seen them before.
“She didn’t deny it,” you said, and those words were like a blade through his chest. “Daemon gave the order, but she did nothing to stop it. Nothing.”
Silence fell between you like a chasm, too wide to cross.
Aemond took another step forward, his face filled with something raw, something close to desperation. “You should have come to me,” he said through clenched teeth. “Not them. Not her.” His voice cracked on the last word. “I would have gone with you. I would have done anything for you.”
Your eyes softened for the briefest moment, but it was gone as quickly as it came.
“I know,” you whispered, “but I needed to face her myself.”
He let out a harsh breath, his anger still simmering beneath his skin, but he understood. He didn’t like it, but he understood.
“Don’t do it again,” he said, stepping forward until there was barely a breath of space between you. His gaze bore into yours, hard as steel. “Don’t leave me like that again. I will not lose you too.”
You searched his face, your eyes flickering with something vulnerable, something that hadn’t been there before.
“Then don’t give me a reason to leave,” you replied softly, placing a hand on his chest, just over his heart. You could feel it beating beneath your palm, wild and uneven.
He grabbed your hand, his grip firm but not harsh. His single eye locked on yours, his jaw set with determination.
“Never,” he promised, his voice rough but certain. “Never again.”
You and Aemond returned to the Red Keep, the familiar sight of its towering walls and sharp spires looming ahead. The weight of everything that had happened pressed heavily on your shoulders, but you stood tall, your gaze steady.
Word of your return had already spread. As you approached the entrance, there she was — Alicent. She stood by the grand doors, her hands clasped tightly in front of her, her eyes scanning the distance until they found you. Her face shifted instantly. The sharp worry that had etched lines into her features melted away, replaced by pure, unrestrained relief.
Her breath hitched as she stepped forward, her pace quickening with each step. Her eyes, filled with both love and quiet reproach, never left you. Before you could say a word, she was upon you.
“My sweet girl,” she breathed, pulling you into a firm embrace. Her arms wrapped around you tightly, as if she feared you would disappear again if she let go. Her cheek pressed against your hair, and you could feel her breath tremble as she exhaled.
“What were you thinking?” she asked, her voice strained with a mix of relief and frustration. Her hands moved to cup your face, tilting it up so she could look directly into your eyes. “Leaving without a word, without a guard, after all that’s happened? Do you have any idea what you put us through?”
Her eyes searched yours, flickering between anger, worry, and something deeper — something like fear. She brushed a hand over your cheek, her thumb tracing the faint lines of exhaustion on your face. Her gaze softened even more. “We thought we’d lost you too.”
Behind you, Aemond stood silently, his eye fixed on you both. His jaw was tight, his hands clasped behind his back, but his gaze betrayed him. He was watching you intently, every shift of your face, every word his mother spoke.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, glancing away for a moment. “I just… I needed to know.”
Alicent blinked, confused. “Know what?” she asked softly, her brows furrowing.
You glanced at Aemond before returning your gaze to Alicent. “I went to Dragonstone,” you admitted, voice steadier now. “I had to see my mother. I had to know if she had any part in… in this madness.” Your voice cracked slightly on the last words, but you stood firm, not allowing yourself to falter.
Alicent’s lips parted in shock. She pulled back slightly, her eyes searching yours as if to confirm she had heard you correctly. Her eyes darted to Aemond, who merely lowered his gaze, his face unreadable.
“Did she…?” Alicent’s voice was strained, her breath barely above a whisper, as though she feared the answer.
Your throat tightened, but you forced yourself to speak. “Daemon gave the order, like that man said” you said, each word cutting like a blade. “But she did nothing to stop it.”
Alicent’s face crumpled with something close to devastation. Her hands trembled slightly as she lowered them from your face. She turned away for a moment, blinking rapidly, her lips pressing into a thin line as if trying to steady herself.
“I see,” she murmured, her voice distant. She exhaled slowly, her gaze distant as she stared ahead at nothing. Then, she turned back to you, her eyes filled with fierce resolve. “You will not go back there. Not alone. Not ever.”
Her voice was firm, like an order, but it was laced with worry and love. Her hands found yours and gripped them tightly. “You belong here. With us. Do you understand me? You belong here.”
Her words echoed with such certainty that, for the first time in days, you felt the weight on your heart lift ever so slightly. You squeezed her hands back, nodding slowly.
“I understand,” you whispered, glancing briefly at Aemond. He was still watching you, his eye unwavering, his expression softer now.
“Good,” Alicent said, her voice more stable now. She pulled you close for another embrace, resting her chin on top of your head. “You’re home now. You’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
But deep down, you both knew it wasn’t over. Not yet.
You walked slowly toward your chamber, your steps quiet but purposeful. The soft patter of your feet echoed in the stone hallway, but behind you, there was another sound — heavier, more deliberate. Each step thudded with weight, sharp and tense, like thunder rolling in the distance.
You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Aemond.
His presence was unmistakable. You could feel the heat of his gaze boring into your back, and the intensity of it sent a shiver down your spine. He followed close, his breaths steady but heavy, as though every step he took required restraint. There was an energy around him, an unspoken storm brewing beneath his calm exterior. Anger. Grief. Guilt.
When you finally reached your chamber, you pushed the door open and stepped inside. For a moment, you hesitated, your hand still resting on the doorframe. You could hear him stop just behind you, lingering for a heartbeat longer. Then, with a slow creak, he followed you in and shut the door behind him.
The silence in the room was thick, heavier than before. The air felt stifling. You turned slowly to face him.
Aemond stood there, his chest rising and falling with shallow, uneven breaths. His eye locked onto yours, sharp as a blade but flickering with something deeper. His jaw was clenched so tightly you could see the muscle twitch beneath his skin. His lips pressed into a thin, hard line.
He didn’t speak. Not at first.
But his eye told you everything. Anger. Not at you — never at you — but at the world, at himself, at fate. And sadness, deeper than any wound.
You opened your mouth to say something, anything that might ease his pain, but before you could, his face crumpled. His breath hitched, and before you knew it, he sank to his knees before you.
It wasn’t a graceful descent. It was a collapse. A man stripped of every wall he’d built around himself. His hands fell to his sides, and his head bowed as if the weight of it had finally become too much. His silver hair fell forward, hiding his face from you.
Your heart ached at the sight.
You stepped forward, slowly, watching him with wide eyes. You had seen Aemond in battle, in fury, in cold calculation — but never like this. Never so broken.
His shoulders shook. Barely at first, then more violently. The sound of his breaths grew louder, more ragged, and then you heard it — a sob. It tore from his chest like a wound finally bursting open.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of it all. His head tilted forward, and he pressed his hands flat against the cold stone floor, his fingers curling into fists. His whole body trembled, and his breath came in shallow gasps. “I’m sorry… I almost lost you.”
His words struck you harder than any blade ever could.
You knelt down slowly, your movements careful, as if afraid to startle him. Your eyes never left him. Reaching out, you placed your hands on his face, gently cupping his cheeks. He flinched at the touch but didn’t pull away. His eye, still wet with unshed tears, met yours, and you saw it all laid bare — fear, love, desperation.
“You didn’t lose me,” you whispered firmly, your voice soft but steady. “I’m here. I’m right here, Aemond.”
He squeezed his eye shut, another tear rolling down his cheek and soaking into your palm. His hand lifted slowly, wrapping around your wrist, holding it there as if you were his only tether to reality.
“I was afraid,” he admitted, his voice hoarse and broken. “When I came back and you were gone… I thought you’d left me. I thought—” His breath caught, and he gritted his teeth, his face twisting in pain. “I can’t lose you too. I can’t.”
Hearing him like this shattered something in you. The man who always seemed so untouchable, so unyielding, was now falling apart right in front of you. And he had fallen for you.
You leaned forward, resting your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you breathed him in — his warmth, his pain, his love.
“You won’t lose me,” you promised, your voice unwavering this time. “I’ll always come back to you.”
For a moment, neither of you moved. You stayed like that — two broken souls holding each other together in a world that seemed so bent on tearing you apart. His breathing eventually slowed, his trembling eased. He stayed on his knees, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer.
No words were needed. This was enough. For now, it was enough.
There, in the stillness of your shared grief and relief, Aemond lifted his head just enough to look at you. His eye, red from tears, gazed at you with a raw, unguarded tenderness you had never seen before. His lips parted as if he wanted to speak, but for a moment, he hesitated. His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his breath shaky.
Then, finally, in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper, he said it.
“I love you.”
The words hung in the air like the soft glow of dawn after a long, endless night. Your breath caught in your chest. Time seemed to stop.
You stared at him, eyes wide with surprise. You had known he cared for you, perhaps even loved you in his own way, but he had never said it before. Never like this. Never so openly, so vulnerably.
His eye searched your face, watching for any hint of your reaction, fear flickering in his gaze as if he’d just bared the most fragile part of himself. His grip on you tightened, as if afraid you would pull away.
But you didn’t.
Instead, you cupped his face with both hands, your thumbs gently brushing away the lingering tears on his cheeks. Slowly, carefully, you leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. Your eyes closed, and you breathed in the warmth of him, steadying your own heart.
“I love you too,” you whispered, your voice soft as a prayer, but every word was filled with certainty.
You felt him exhale, his breath warm against your skin, the weight of his fears slowly lifting. His arms around you grew firmer, pulling you closer, grounding himself in you. For a moment, the world outside the room didn’t exist. No war. No blood. No grief. Just the two of you, holding on to each other as if the very gods themselves had tried to tear you apart.
No words were spoken after that. None were needed. The truth had finally been spoken.
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Tag list : @danytar @julessworldd @yazzzmints @giirlinblack
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sailorluna15 · 25 days ago
Note
Pitfighter vi x reader. vi is really cold at first and the whole thing is strictly physical but one time, reader tends to her wounds and she starts getting softer with her after that. Smut + angst if you don't mind.
-🍃
Thank you for being my very first request!
Let's get into it!
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Pat, Pat, Pat.
Your face falls in defeat as your hands meet an empty mattress.
Why does she always do this to me? It's my fault, she always does this. I don't know why I expected different.
Vi always did this to you. Fucking you, using you for comfort, leaving you alone in the morning, and then acting like nothing ever happened. You thought you would get used to it, but you never do. Everyone tells you to leave her alone, but you just can't. You just can't.
With a bouquet of whatever flowers could find in Zaun, you stood waiting for Vi to come out of the pit. She had won her match, and you were so proud of her.
As soon as you see her beautiful figure, you stand up and straight and attempt to talk.
"Vi, you did so good..."
Your head turns as she walks right past you. You run to catch up to her, stopping right in front of her with your bouquet to her chest.
"I got these for you." You say nervously.
"Why are you here." Vi spits out.
Blinking two times in confusion, a little laugh comes out of your mouth.
"What do you mean? I came to support you. I always want to support you."
"Look, I don't need any fangirls. Please, go on somewhere." Vi says with an eye roll.
You stand there in shock as Vi pushes the flowers back to you and walks away.
As your shock fades away, you quickly decide that you won't let Vi slip from you this easily.
She's just hurt is all. She just needs somebody who won't give up on her, somebody to care.
The next time you saw Vi at one of her matches, she got her ass beat. Her lip was busted, her nose was bleeding from her piercing, and her left one had a shiner on it.
Goddamn
You wait, like always, for her to come out of the pit. When she does, she looks pissed.
"Vi-"
"I don't have time for your fucking fangirly bullshit! Haven't I fucking told you that before! When will you finally get it through your fucking skull that I just like to fuck you?" Vi yells as blood spills from her lip.
With a second thought, you dig in your pocket and pull out a handkerchief for her to wipe her lip with. You hold it out to her, and she looks at you in disbelief.
"I have ointment and gauze for your nose, too if you need it." You speak calmy.
Vi continues to stare at you with her jaw dropped.
"I know you don't care about anything but sex when it comes to me, but I am not the same. I want you to be good. I want you to be more than good. You don't have to feel the same but at least let me heal you a bit. We can have sex after that, and then you can leave."
A beat passes before Vi gives in.
"Fine, but you better make me dinner, too, and I definitely want sex."
With a light laugh, you agree, and you both make the journey to your house.
After entering your house, Vi plops herself on her couch.
"Are you thirsty?" You ask.
"You got beer?" Vi responds.
"Yes. Here you go."
You give the beer to her and then go to the back to get your healing kit.
You sit next to Vi and ask her to turn your way.
"I'll try to be as careful as possible. It might sting a little."
As you heal Vi's face, her body relaxes, and she starts to ask you questions about your life.
How did you get into healing? How do you know how to cook. Where did you find those flowers?
You politely answer every question until you finally finish.
"All done! You did so well." You say cheerfully.
A rosy shade paints Vi's face as she hears your praise. With a cough, she asks roughly, "What for dinner?"
"Oh, I forgot! I was thinking we could have fried fish and rice. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, that sounds alright." Vi says nonchalantly despite doing jumping jacks in her head as the thought of a home cooked meal.
As you cook the meal, Vi gets up and stalks towards you.
"What are you doing?"
You nearly jump 10 feet in the air as her voice suprises you.
"Oh, my fucking God Vi, you scared me! I'm breading the fish."
"What's "breading the fish"." Vi says, making quotations in the air.
"It's when you put the chicken in eggs and flour before frying it. It's what makes the fish crispy."
"Mmm." Vi hums as she puts her arms around your waist.
Vi's lips trail down you neck as her hands crawl up the inside of your top.
You moan softly as you fail to push her away. "Vi, I'm trying to cook."
"Cook later, I'm horny."
"I thought you wanted dinner." You puff out.
"I want pussy more." She muffles out into your neck. Continuing, she says, "Plus, I gotta make it up to you for being such as asshole earlier."
"It's okay, Vi. I understand that you're just frustrated sometimes. You don't have to make it up to me." You sigh out in ecstasy as Vi rubs circular motions on your breasts.
"Lemme make it up to you, cupcake."
"Let me turn off the stove." Quickly, you turn off the stove and allow Vi to pick you up to take you to the bedroom.
As soon as Vi lays you on the bed, you immediately start taking each other's clothes off.
The first thing Vi does as she sees your breast is suck on them. She swirls her tongue around your nipple while she palms your other breast. You moan and arch into her touch as she works your body.
"Fuck, Vi, don't stop." You say as you begin to rub quick motions on her clit. She groans into your mouth, her cum coating your fingers. Vi moves away from your breast, trailing kisses down your stomach, happy trail, to the top of your pussy. She plants a kiss there before attempting to dive into you.
"Wait," you say with a heavy breath.
"What?" Vi says with a confused look.
"Let's do 69, I wanna eat your pussy."
A grin splits across Vi's face at lightning speed as quickly moves into position. As soon as her pussy is in front of you, you dive into each other like a five-course Michelin meal.
Both of your moans resound throughout the entire room as you tongue fuck and clit suck each other's pussies into oblivion.
"Fuck, suck my clit harder." Vi demands as she rocks against your face. Quickly obeying her command, you attach your lips to her and suck like a vacuum.
She does the same to you and in a matter of second you both come hard, shaking against each other. Vi rolls off of you and stares at the ceiling in a daze.
"Shit, that felt so good, Vi. You ready for dinner now?" You ask innocently.
Vi nods her head weakly. With a chuckle, you get up out of bed, clean both of you up, and start on dinner.
"Damn, I think fucking love her," Vi whispers to herself.
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bloatedandalone04 · 8 months ago
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Little Black Dress
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➪the one where you and the pogues are invited to a fancy party at the cameron’s, and jj can’t seem to keep his hands (and lips) off you.
Warnings: smut, fluff, kook reader, pda, semipublic smut, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, established relationship, altered plot, swearing, dom jj
Word Count: 3.7k
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡
“No,” was the first word that came out of JJ’s mouth as soon as you stepped out of your bedroom wearing the newest article of clothing that was added to your wardrobe. It was a simple but cute black dress you thought would look nice on you at the dinner party the Cameron’s were throwing at their house. “Absolutely not.”
Apparently JJ thought differently. “What?” You frowned, looking down at the dress self-consciously. “I thought it looked nice. Cute, you know?”
“Cute?” JJ asked in disbelief, uncrossing his arms as he stood up straight from his slouched position against the wall. “No, you don’t look cute, Y/n. You look fucking hot. Go change.”
A startled laugh escapes you as you look back up at him. “Wait, you think I look hot, yet you want me to go change?”
JJ nodded, and it looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes locked on yours instead of letting them trail up and down your body. “Yes,” he answered as it was the easiest question he’d ever been asked. “It’s bad enough that this is the best I could find, I don’t need you showing me up even more than you already do.”
He gestures to his simple white button up and dress pants he wore when he was a waiter for about three hours before he got fired. You laughed as you looked him up and down. “I think you look hot, too,” you shrug. “I don’t want you to go change though.”
“Baby,” he nearly whined as he reached for your hips. “Please go change into something that won’t give me a boner all throughout fucking dinner. John B will never let me live it down.”
You laugh again and brace your hands on his shoulders as you stand in between his legs. “You can make it through one dinner Jay,”
JJ groaned and leaned in to rest his forehead on your shoulder, his hands trailing further down your body. “One dinner might as well be one hundred,” he hummed, his hands skimming past your lower back. 
“JJ,” you warn and he lifts his head to give you an innocent look. “Don’t start, alright? You’ll just make things harder.”
It was a poor choice of words, and you knew that the second you saw the smirk form on his lips. “I know one thing that’s already hard,”
You scoff and push him away with a laugh. “That’s your own fault,” you shrug again and begin walking away from him. 
“My fault?” He muttered as he followed after you. “You come out wearing the hottest dress I’ve ever seen and it’s my fault for reacting to it?” 
“Yes,” you answer, stepping outside into the cool summer air. It was deathly hot earlier, but thankfully it had cooled down pretty significantly now that it was nearing the evening. “You just had to go ahead and touch me when you knew we need to leave soon.”
“I won’t apologize for that,” he shrugged just as John B pulled up in The Twinkie. 
“You’ll just have to deal with it,” you mumble as Pope opens the back door for you. 
JJ muttered something under his breath, then he was getting into the van as well and sitting extremely close to you. “Everything okay back there?” Kie asked when she turned around from her place in the passenger seat and saw just how squished you were between Pope and JJ. 
“Yeah, Kie,” your boyfriend replied,  reaching around you to push on Pope’s shoulder. He took the hint and moved to sit across from you instead, and you glared at JJ. 
“That was rude,” you whisper, gently nudging his side with your elbow. “He was keeping me company.”
JJ leaned in close so his lips were brushing against the shell of your ear. “I’m all the company you need,” he murmured and you froze for a second and had to hold back a surprised moan. “And you look fucking hot in this dress. I can’t wait to take it off you at the party.”
You actually did whimper as you turned to gaze up at him with wide eyes, and he just smirked at you as Kie let out a laugh of disbelief. “Guys, are we seriously going to the fucking Cameron’s for a dinner party?” 
John B looked over at her as he turned left down the street that leads to the fancier part of town. “Hey, Sarah really wants us to come. I promised her we would be there,” he defended his girlfriend. “And you can’t lie and tell me that you haven’t been actually getting along with her.”
“Sarah’s fine,” Kie mumbled. “The rest aren’t.”
“Give them a chance, Kie,” Pope said from his place behind her. “We gave Y/n a chance, and now she’s one of us. Richer than all of us combined, but still one of us.”
JJ lifted his head from where it was against your neck and glared at his friend. “Shut up, Pope,” he grunted, pulling you tighter against his side. “Y/n was never like that. She never gave us a reason to not like her.”
You smile at him and press a chaste kiss to his cheek, one that had him fighting off a grin as he turned to his left and reached around the driver’s seat to grab John B’s shoulder. 
“Unlike this one, who is dating the girl who cost him his job with her dad,” he added and John B flipped him off through the rearview mirror. 
“Sarah’s not like that, either,” 
“Whatever you say,” JJ laughed, leaning back and looking down at you with poorly hidden lust in his eyes. 
You had to keep your eyes off him for the rest of the ride, otherwise you were sure you would end up doing something indecent to him in front of your friends. 
When you arrived at Sarah’s house, she ran out and greeted you all before kissing John B and tugging him inside. Pope scoffed as he watched the two disappear inside the massive house, “Oh, don’t worry, we’ll just find our own way around your giant fucking mansion,” 
Kie laughed and shoved him a bit as the two of them walked through the double doors, leaving you and JJ outside. He turned to you with a pleading look, his hand reaching for yours. “We can still go back,” he tempted you by wiggling his brows. “I can think of many things that are a lot more fun than sitting down with a bunch of Kooks for three hours.” 
You roll your eyes and take his hand, lacing your fingers with his. “Come on, party boy,” you laughed as you pulled him with you. “You can make it through a few hours.”
JJ groaned but followed after you. “Alright, but I’m telling you right now, I won’t be able to take my hands off you when we’re at the table,” 
You blushed and tried pulling your hand out of his, but he just pulled you closer then wrapped his arm around your waist. Pope, who was standing in the entryway of the dining room must’ve heard JJ’s dirty promise, as he snorted before saying, “Might not be able to live up to that, JJ,”
JJ furrowed his brows then looked over Pope’s shoulder. “No way,” 
John B was sitting across the table from Sarah, Rafe, who looked hilariously miserable, was sitting across from Wheezie, and Ward was sitting across from Rose.  “Oh,” you trailed off, watching as John B and Sarah practically eye fucked each other. “Guys sit across from the girls..?” You asked, earning a tight nod from Rose before she downed whatever was in her glass. She clearly didn’t want to be here either, and it was her own house. 
“Y/n,” Ward greeted with a charming smile that faded when he looked to your left and at your boyfriend. “JJ…welcome. Come on in, have a seat.”
JJ turned to you with a look of warning in his eyes. “Let’s go,” he mumbled. “I’m serious.”
You bit back a laugh and quickly escaped his hold in order to sit next to Kie. Pope sighed before sitting across from her, leaving JJ to sit in between him and Rafe. 
“Fuck,” he muttered, knowing damn well that he would only ever do something like this for you and you only. With a barely hidden eye roll, he sits next to Rafe and Pope, refusing to acknowledge the Kook next to him as he looks at you from across the table. “This is fucked.” He mouthed to you just as Ward stood up. 
You held back a laugh as you broke eye contact in order to pay attention to the man you were sure Sarah begged to let her organize this whole thing. “I just want to thank you all for coming. I know things have been tense lately, but I think this is a great opportunity for us all to get to know each other. It’s always nice to know who my little girl is hanging around with these days,” he nodded at Sarah who just smiled at him. “With that being said, enjoy the food, everyone.” 
With the ice being broken, you watched as almost everyone began picking at the food on their plates. Everyone except JJ, who just braced his elbows on the table and stared at you. You nodded towards his plate, but he shook his head. “This is torture,” he mouthed and you softly glared at him. 
“Eat,” you mouthed back, your eyes flickering between his and his plate. “What is your issue?”
“I can’t touch you,” he mouthed a little too audibly, earning a glare from Rafe that JJ promptly ignored. 
You gave him a pointed look, and when he still made no move to pick up his fork, you gently kicked his leg under the table. He jumped slightly, his eyes widening as if he couldn’t believe you actually just did that, then he huffed defeatedly and grabbed his fork. 
You smile then pucker your lips at him, laughing at the way he rolled his eyes but let a small grin form on his face. 
Soon enough everyone was having their own little conversations, and it was going surprisingly okay, but despite your best efforts, you were getting bored. You could tell that JJ was, too, as he grabbed his glass and spun the liquid around instead of actually drinking it. 
When Ward announced that he was going to go get dessert, an idea formed in your head and you smirked. You lean back in your chair and kick your heels off from under the table, then you extend your leg out until your foot grazes JJ’s knee. Your smirk grew when he jumped again, nearly spilling his drink as he registered that it was you who was touching him. 
He met your eyes with a look of warning, but you ignored it. Just as Ward came back with two trays of cake and pie, you slid your foot higher until it was trailing along JJ’s thigh, and his knees hit the underside of the table as he reached under and grabbed hold of your ankle. “Y/n,” he muttered, ignoring the many sets of eyes on him at the loud noise. “Come with me.”
Your smirk faded as he gently pushed your leg away from him then stood up, and you had to hold back a moan at the dangerous look in his eyes. “Why?” You managed to ask as Ward set the trays down onto the table. 
“Now,” was the answer you were given, then JJ looked over at Ward. “You don’t mind if we’re excused for a few minutes, do you?”
He really wasn’t asking, and Ward knew that as he nodded and sat back down. “Not at all, take your time,” he was honestly probably happy to have you and JJ leave, even if just for a little while. 
JJ turned back to you then made a beeline for the doorway, and you were left to quickly stand up and follow after him on shaky legs. “Sorry, we…we forgot..something,” you make up the worst excuse of your life before fleeing the room in search of your riled up boyfriend. 
You hadn’t even made it halfway down the hallway before a hand wrapped around your wrist and you were pulled towards JJ’s chest. “You got some nerve, you know that?” He asked and before you could say a word, he pressed his lips to yours and effectively shut you up. You whined against his mouth when he deepened the kiss, then he pulled away and left you craving more. JJ hummed as he lifted his hand and tugged at your bottom lip. “What do you say, baby? Why don’t we explore this house a bit?” 
Nodding and in a daze, he takes your hand in his and pulls you along with him as he heads towards the staircase. He let out a low whistle as you and he ascended the stairs, and you were breathless, too, but for a different reason. 
“Look at this fucking place,” he grunted, glancing at you as you and he reached the second floor. “Look at all these empty rooms.”
You swallow hard as he grabs your hips and pushes you against a wall. “JJ,” you whisper and he smirks before leaning down and kissing you. Your arms wrap around his neck as you moan into the kiss, just as needy as he is even though you were better at hiding it. “Are we really doing this?”
JJ pulled away and took your hand again. “Oh yeah, we’re doing this,” he answered and you gave him a wide eyed look that he scoffed at. “Don’t give me that look, you’re the one who decided to tease me under the table.”
Your eyes widened as he opened a random door and pulled you in with him. “My heels, Jay,” you gasp. “They’re still down there. Oh, my God, that makes it so obvious as to what we’re doing.”
JJ raised a brow. “Baby, I think it was obvious from the second we left that table,” he laughed then turned to observe the room he chose. “Jesus, even the bathrooms are massive.”
You huff out a quiet laugh and start to walk around him to observe the room yourself, but you don’t get very far before JJ wraps his arms around you and pulls you back to him. You stumble a bit but then are lifted up and set on the marble countertop next to the sink. “You’re impatient,” you tease, running your hands along his shoulders. 
“Can you blame me?” He asked, leaning in and kissing your neck. “You look so hot, baby.” 
You whimper at his words, tugging on his shirt. “JJ,”
“I know,” he groaned, lifting you up effortlessly and sliding your panties down your legs. “Baby, I love you, but if you ever make me go to another dinner party with a bunch of fucking Kook’s, I might never speak to you again.”
His threat was empty and it had you laughing before you cut yourself off with a moan as he sunk to his knees and wrapped his lips around your clit. His hands pushed your sinful dress up until it pooled around your waist, and you reached out to grab hold of his hair. “Oh, fuck,” you bite your lip and looked cautiously at the closed door. 
You’d been secretly turned on since the second you saw JJ dressed in his take on a formal outfit, and that much was clear as his tongue poked out to run along your already soaked slit. JJ hummed at the feeling of your wetness coating his taste buds, “I knew you needed this just as much as I did,”
Your face heats up as you place your other hand flat on the counter behind you. “You dressed yourself, you know how good you look, Jay,” 
He laughed, pulling away as he tugged your body closer to the edge of the counter. JJ pressed his cheek against your knee as he stared up at you, sliding one of his hands up your thigh until his fingers were ghosting over your core. “You want me to get you off on my tongue, baby? Or do you want the real thing?”
You bite your lip as his index and middle fingers slip into you. “I want,” you trial off, wanting him to make you come more than once during this little sneak off from the party, but you also didn’t want to ditch them for too long. You whine as you pull him so he is standing up, and you tug him towards you while reaching down to grope him through his pants. “I want this.”
JJ smirked, kissing you deeply as he pushed your dress down and palmed your breasts in his much bigger hands. You moan into the kiss as you unzip his dress pants and push them and his boxers down just enough to free his hard cock. He slipped his tongue into your mouth as you guided his tip up and down your soaked folds, and you shared a groan at the feeling. 
“Please,” you begged, tugging at the buttons on his shirt until the top of his chest was exposed. “Please, Jay.” You knew how much he loved when you begged him, and it had the reaction you knew it would, which was a quick thrust of his hips until he was buried deep within you. 
JJ groaned loudly, knowing damn well how massive this house was and that there was no way anyone would be able to hear you. “Fuck,” he grunted, grabbing your hip with one hand while his other squeezes at your chest. His thumb and index finger pinch and tug at your nipple until it’s impossibly tight, then he leans down and does the same thing to the other, but this time with his lips and tongue. 
You jolt and kick the lower cabinet by accident, but neither of you care about the loud noise you just made as you let the lust take over. “Oh, my God,” you gasp, locking your legs around his waist as he begins to fuck into you. “Fuck.”
JJ sucked in a breath through his teeth as your walls tightly gripped him, inviting him in deeper and deeper with every thrust of his hips. You felt so good, and he knew that, which is why he couldn’t wait until he got you back to your house after the party to do this. He probably would’ve come in his pants if he had to wait that long. 
With that being said, there is no way he is lasting long now. Not with the way you clung onto him as he fucked you, and the way your saliva coated chest brushed against his. 
You were already a moaning mess as he trailed his hand down and began rubbing circles onto your clit, and the new pressure only made you louder. JJ would proudly admit if you asked him that he loved the way you sounded for him, and loved how you weren’t afraid to get vocal at times like this. 
“Jesus, Jay,” you whimpered, biting down on your puffy lip that was swollen from his harsh kisses. You gripped the edge of the counter tightly with one hand, the other tangling in his blond hair as he fucked you hard and fast. Usually he liked to take his time with you and really worship your body for as long as he could, but this had to be quicker than normal for obvious reasons. 
“I know,” he grunted, pinching and pulling at your clit as he worked you open. He watched as he became more and more coated in your arousal with each thrust, and his jaw locked when you tilted your head back and pressed your chest against his. You looked so fucked out and hot, he was still in shock that he somehow managed to get you to agree to be his. “I know.”
“Fuck,” you nearly, cried, pressing your heels against his lower back and letting the sides of your thighs rest on the cool marble of the counter. It gave him the best view of your dripping core and it took a lot out of JJ to not come right then and there. 
“Fuck, Y/n,” he rasped, fucking into you even harder than before, determined to make you come first. “Tell me you’re close, baby.”
You whimper, lifting your head and kissing him deeply. “I’m close, Jay,”
“Thank fuck,” he huffed, earning a soft laugh from you as you tensed up. “Come for me, baby. Come on me.”
“Oh, fuck,” you moaned loudly, bracing yourself on shaky arms as you coated his cock in your release. “Fuck…fuck.”
The added wetness and the way you were still clenching around him was all JJ needed as he came deep within your throbbing and pulsing walls, a deep grunt leaving the back of his throat. “God, Y/n,” he breathed out as he stilled inside you, watching with squinted eyes as you push yourself up and grin at him. “The things you do to me.”
You laugh as he leans down to kiss the tops of your breasts before pulling your dress back up. “I don’t want to go back downstairs now,” you blushed under his intense gaze, taking it upon yourself to button his shirt back up. “That was too good.”
It was always good with him, and he knew that, which is why he strived to give it to you better each time. “We could always just sneak out a window, steal The Twinkie and go back to your place,” he suggested as he slowly pulled out of you. 
You watched with parted lips as he grabbed your panties and shoved them into his pocket, then he zipped his pants up with a smirk. “But that pie Ward brought out looked really good,” you pouted and JJ laughed, walking back over to you and tugging at your lip. 
“Fine, we’ll stay for pie,” he stated, lifting you off the counter. He leaned down to press a final kiss to your mouth, smiling at you when he pulled away and took your hand in his. “Then I’m taking you home.”
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musickgeek · 8 months ago
Text
Happy (SDV Sebastian x Farmer!Reader)
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945 words, unedited
Warnings: None
The first time you'd met Sebastian was the first Friday after your arrival in Pelican Town. You saw him bent over the pool table, lining up his shot. Your face got hot, and butterflies flew in your stomach. He looked so at peace, in his element. The small smile on his lips, and comfortable stance he took up. You were wondering how to introduce yourself, but Sam, who you'd met earlier in the day, waved you over. Nervous, you tried to walk over as casually as possible, brushing dirt and dust off your clothes. "Hey (Y/n), these are my friends Abigail, and Sebastian." Sebastian makes a shot, knocking a few of his balls into the pockets. Sam frowns, but quickly refocuses on introductions. He bumps Sebastian's shoulder with his own, almost teasing. "Sebastian, this is the new farmer girl." 
The dark haired boy looked at you, curiosity in his eyes. "Oh. You just moved in, right?" You nodded. "Cool." He pauses for a moment, as if thinking about it. "Out of all the places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?” You couldn't help the small laugh that came out. "I know it seems small and confining, but for me, some of the best memories of my life were made here with my grandfather." He nodded thoughtfully, accepting the answer. You found him to be so pretty, it almost embarrassed you. You'd just met the man for Yoba's sake! Oh well, you'd already decided you wanted to get to know him better.
~~~~~
You tried to speak to him every day, trying to figure out the things he liked. What do boys like him like? You came to an easy conclusion while in the mines. When you found a little piece of clear crystal. "You may think it's not much, but when in the right light," you moved it into the sun to show off how it glimmered, "it shows it's true worth." Just like him, you decided. And so your ventures into the mines became more frequent, finding colorful gems and crystals that Sebastian might like. 
You would walk in the house, scuffed up and dirty, but smiling widely. Robin would look at you strangely. You'd greet her cheerfully like you weren't bleeding and bruised before disappearing down the stairs to her sons room. She was confused for weeks until Sebastian asked her to build a shelf for him to display the fruits of your labor. 
~~~~~
"You know, I'm starting to think you're obsessed with me." He teased one Friday, you guys walking to the saloon together. "In your dreams!" It wasn't you fault, you thought. He was the one who plagued your mind with a late night motorcycle ride a few nights before. You found him working on his bike, and he suggested brining you along on time. You said you were scared, to which he promised to keep you safe. That moment played in your mind over and over like a broken record. You'd become a little clingier, and the fact that he'd noticed startled you. His phone chimed, luckily changing the subject. He frowned, and you asked what had happened.
"Sam isn't coming by tonight. He hurt himself on his skateboard earlier, and is stuck with Harvey tonight." Little did either of you know, it was a crafted lie designed by Sam and Abby to get you guys to hang out. "Do you know how to play pool?" 
"I get the idea, but I've never actually played. I don't know how to execute it, really." He gave his little smile that you adored. "Tonight is going to be interesting." He sped up, almost giddy at the idea of sharing his skills with you, leaving you to chase after him, laughing.
~~~~~
Your skin was on fire. His body had never been so close to yours. You could feel your face burning. You could feel his breath on your neck. His hand covered yours, his chest was pressed against your back. You could smell the woodsy scent of his room on him. To the other patrons, the act was innocent. He was just showing you how to line up a shot for pool. But to you, everything about this felt like carnal sin. You felt like you could pass out. The sound of the lively talk and music faded away, all you senses focused on him. Could he feel it too? You when for the shot, but were too distracted to make a hit. 
"You're even worse than Sam." He said, pulling away. "I'll just have to practice more." You insisted. "Oh, by the way, I found this for you." You pull the blue, teardrop shaped crystal out of your pocket. The shock on his face pleased you. He took it carefully, afraid of breaking it. "I really love this." 
"It's no big deal." You shrug. But he shakes his head, frowning deeply. "But it is, I know the lengths you have to go to for something like this, for any of the crystals you give me. You go down there all the time, risking your life just to give me some silly trinkets. I don't even understand why." Now you frown, feeling hurt. "I thought you liked them..." He realizes his mistake, and gets panicky. "No, I do, I really do! But...I like you more. Sometimes I wait at the rivers edge for you to come back. Just to know you're safe." 
You felt your heart pounding in your chest. What was he saying? "I...I can handle myself, Seb. I promise. I do it because it makes you happy." He looks down, and smiles. You so badly wanted to kiss him. "(Y/n), you make me happy." 
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