#it's not my fault he always falls asleep before it goes live on Disney +

[nerdgirlriot]

Me: You need to catch up on Andor. You're two episodes behind. J: I don't think so. I'm caught up. Me: Do you remember the old guy dying? J: No. Me: Then you're two episodes behind. You need to catch up on Andor. J: *is suddenly upset that I have to remind him to watch Andor* Me: ?????

[letarasstuff]

Can I stay with you?

(A/N): This is based on this, this and this post. I really hope you are ready for the feels, because they are there and they are heavy-

Summary: Following the events of Emily's death, how will Spencer and his daughter cope with it?

Warnings: Angst and lots of it, mentions of drug use, contemplations of drug use, mentions of needles, we also got some bittersweet fluff

Wordcount: 2.5k

✨Masterlist✨ _______________________________

A hospital is not a place where a child should be, Spencer knows that much. But he picked (Y/N) up on his way for two reasons:

The first one being the simple occurence that the babysitter is not able to keep her any longer, because she has classes in the next morning. The second one is selfish and the father knows that, but he needs her presence, the comfort she brings to him.

“Daddy”, the child breaks the silence in the waiting room, “Is Auntie Emily going to be ok?” She sits in his lap reading a book before looking up at him. Her eyes hold something he wishes to never see again: Fear. The fear of losing someone she loves dearly.

“I hope, Baby. But let’s not forget one important fact: Your Auntie Emily is one of the strongest women I know.” Spencer gives her a kiss on the top of her head and cuddles her closer to him, seeing (Y/N)’s eyes dropping. The rest of the team watches the interaction with aching hearts.

The girl is asleep for half an hour when JJ enters the room. Everybody gets up crowding her. Spencer is careful to not disturb his daughter as he moves her head to his shoulder and hooks his arm under her legs.

“She never made it off the table.” These words echo in the genius’ mind, seemingly being the only things he can think about. “I-I never had the chance to say goodbye.” JJ hugs him, trying to give some sort of comfort. In this process (Y/N) wakes up. As soon as she spots her father’s tears, she knows not to ask a question. Instead she loops her arms around his neck.

“It’s fine. It’s gonna be alright, Daddy”, the toddler recalls the words he says to her whenever she is upset in hopes to cheer him up.

The next couple days are hard on the whole team. They try to grieve together, especially while the funeral takes place. (Y/N) notices that the color black is fitting, since her Auntie really liked to wear it. She likes that they do the same to pay their respects that way.

“Auntie Penny, is she watching?” The blonde woman carries her while the casket is walked down the aisle. Since her death, (Y/N) doesn’t dare to say Emily’s name. She thinks if she avoids it, she is going to inflict less pain when she is talked about.

“Of course. Emily is in heaven and watches this beautiful beautiful ceremony we hold for her. So wipe that frown off and put on that smile she loved so much. Alright?” Confusing to her, the adults want (Y/N) to smile all the time. But they are frowning and crying more often than not.

“Can she hear us? Because I want to say I love her. I forgot to say it the last time I saw her.” Trying to distract herself from seeing the casket lowering into the grave, the girl plays with Penlope’s hair. She in turn has to fight tears back. Only now she realizes the impact the whole thing has on her.

“I’m sure she does. What about when the majority is gone, we go to her grave and talk to Emily? Do we have a deal?” (Y/N) nods.

As soon as the ceremony is over, Spencer takes his daughter, cradling her close to him. As if she senses his sadness, the girl is petting his back in a comforting way. He squeezes her closer to him, leaving her not much room to breathe.

“Daddy, I wanna talk to her. I need to get down.” (Y/N) wiggles in his grasp after she whispers this into his ear. Reluctantly Spencer lets her down and she toddles over to the freshly made grave. A little plastic card sticks out of the grass in place of a headstone.

The adults try to give her as much space as possible, they have to let grieve on her own.

“Hey, Auntie Emily. I-I wanted to say I love you, and I forgot to tell you this the last time so I say it a second time. I love you. And I miss you. I think Daddy misses you too. He is sad since you are gone. I’m too. I think it’s because we miss you. But I hope you like Heaven. Maybe you see my Mommy. When you do, can you say I love her?

“I’ll try to see you soon, Auntie. Goodbye!” (Y/N) goes back to her father and makes grabby hands towards him. Gladly Spencer picks her up again, putting a kiss on her head. “Wanna go home, Daddy.” The child mumbles, exhausted by all the stress and emotions from the day.

The father is relieved to have an excuse to skip the meal with the team. He is scared that the evening at the little restaurant is clouded by sadness and angst. Spencer doesn’t need that right now, a nice sit in with his daughter sounds way better.

After saying their goodbyes the little family sits in the car on their way to the apartment. As soon as Spencer starts the car, (Y/N) is fast asleep. He looks at her through the rear view mirror, happy to see her at peace. It gives the father time to sort through his own thoughts. Since Emily’s death (Y/N) tries to be around him constantly, which he is thankful for, because she keeps the darkness away.

Her last hours play again and again before his eyes. The different ways he could have stopped all of this. Why didn’t he say more when she began biting her nails? When she said “Laura Reynolds is dead”? Maybe all of this is his fault?

His forearm begins to itch. Exactly where Tobias Hankel injected the needle same as he did several times. Maybe, maybe it would make everything better? Just this one tim-

“Daddy? When are we home?” The small voice cuts off his train of thought. Spencer needs a few seconds to clear his mind. Did he really think that? Taking dilaudid while the reason he fought his addiction literally sits right behind him? “Just a few minutes, Sweetheart. Do you want to go to bed after dinner?”

As if she knows that the father can’t be left alone in this state, (Y/N) answers: “No, I wanna watch a movie with you. Can we watch Alvin and the chipmunks? I love Simon so much!” This places a smile on his face, the excitement in her eyes scare his dark thoughts away. “Sure, Peanut. We can watch whatever you want.”

It's the fourth evening in a row that the girl sleeps in her father’s bed. She either falls asleep there or climbs next to him in the middle of the night, so he figures he lets her sleep there right away.

“Good night, Sweetheart”, he tells her as they lay down. Even though it’s quite early for Spencer to go to bed it’s (Y/N)’s time. “Good night, Daddy”, she tells him while snuggling closer, “I love you. Soooooo much.”

The young doctor decides to take the next few days off from work in order to work through the events. The first one he spends coloring in books with her the whole day. While she works on her own books gifted by various members of the BAU, Spencer has his own extra made for adults. He can’t deny the soothing effect it has on him. The repeating moves calms the storm of thoughts inside his head.

The next day the two of them sit the whole day on the small couch in the living room, (Y/N) on his lap, and read. Sometimes they read for themselves, others the father reads outloud from his own or (Y/N) from her own. It’s kind of therapeutic to hear his child doing something he enjoyed his whole life.

“Daddy, do you think she feels lonely in heaven? There is nobody she knows, she has to wait for us to follow her, doesn’t she?” Not prepared for such a deep question, Spencer is caught off guard.

He clears his throat before answering. “Uh, Auntie Emily isn’t that lonely up there, you know. You can’t remember him, but Uncle Gideon, a friend from work and someone I looked up to, is there. He surely greeted her with open arms, happy to see her. And your Mommy is also there, she certainly asked lots of questions about you.” “A-are you sure? I told her to say Mommy ‘I love you’ when she sees her.” (Y/N) looks up to her father with big eyes.

He is not sure if he is lying right now to her, but he sees that his daughter needs the reassurance. “Yes, I’m sure.” To lighten the mood he begins to tickle her, which ends in a tickle fight which in turn ends in tiring the girl out and falling asleep while watching a Disney movie.

The next day is by far the worst since it all happened. Both (Y/N) and Spencer haven’t slept much due to nightmares from both sides (him comforting her as she tears him from his own), which results in a grumpy toddler and a non stop coffee drinking adult.

“Sweetheart, you need to put that shirt on. Auntie JJ is expecting us in ten minutes. Please, stop fighting me”, he begs, but she continues to cry. As Spencer tries for a third time to put it on her (Y/N) throws herself to the other side of the bed.

“I don’t want that, Daddy!” She finally gets out through her sobs. Spencer halts in his movements. “Why? That’s your favorite, Baby.” While (Y/N) begins to cry louder, he leaves the clothing article on the bed and gathers her in his arm, rocking her back and forth additionally to whispering sweet reassurances in her ear.

“She gave it to me. I don’t wanna make it dirty or ruin it”, the toddler says between shaky breaths. For what feels like the trillionth time, the young agent’s heart breaks over this statement. He has a bigger vocabulary than the average English speaking person, but at this moment Spencer is at a loss of words.

“Sweetheart, I apologize for not acknowledging this right away. I’ll get another shirt out for you, ok? Thank you so much for telling and helping me.” Just a few minutes later the little family is on their way to the next metro stop. It’s then that Spencer realizes his day won’t be any easier.

“(Y/N) you can sit in the seat next to me like you always do. Why do you have to sit in my lap today?” Normally he isn’t someone who denies his child physical contact, but the seating chart has a logical purpose. Being on a train with a child means you have some kind of luggage with you, which leads to occupying a four seats compartment. In order to prevent somebody taking the seat next to him, Spencer places his daughter there. It’s a win win situation for everybody, really.

Unfortunately for him (Y/N) is extra clingy today and won’t stop crawling onto his lap. With a sigh he accepts his defeat and tries not to think about the amount of germs that fly around.

Another problem that torments the father: Over the last few days his cravings grew. Especially today the feeling, the need, for another shot and another high is undeniable for him. As if sensing this (Y/N) sticks by his side throughout the whole time, keeping his mind off of the drug that changes him.

While they are at the Jareau’s and Lamontagne’s household, his daughter refuses to play with Henry. “I wanna stay with you”, she murmurs into his shoulder. Again Spencer accepts his defeat and sits down on the couch next to his best friend.

“Sweetheart, you need to let me go. I have to go to the bathroom, you can’t come with me.” This is followed by a tsunami of tears. While JJ tries to console her, he slips out of the room discreetly.

Due to (Y/N)’s current grumpiness and Spencer’s fatigue they quickly call it a night, even though he could use some more comfort from his friends.

“Good night, Sweetheart. Sleep tight and dream nice. I love you”, he says after tucking his child in and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Night night, Daddy. I love you, too”, her small voice echoes back to him and makes him smile softly.

Spencer finds his way back to the living room and sits down with a book in his lap. As expected he doesn’t get much reading done, too distracted by his own thoughts. The events of the night of his colleague’s, his friend’s, death replay themselves over and over again.

What if he made his conclusions faster? He is supposed to be the smart one, the one the team relies on for making important connections. But he failed once so who knows what happens when he fails again? Next time it could be the whole team dying. He could die. He would leave (Y/N) alone with the team gone. His mother isn’t capable of caring for her and his father doesn’t even know she exists. She will go into foster care, into a home with too many kids. She will be looked over, too small to be seen. Her potential will go to waste and she will never achieve anything she is capable of. And all that because he hasn’t made a conclusion fast enough.

Spencer’s scars on his forearm itch worse than ever. One shot. Only one shot to make the thoughts go away. To make the guilt go away, the bad feelings. He needs it. He needs to cure himself from the symptoms of being a human.

Before the young doctor even registers what he is doing he already put his jacket on and looks for his wallet when a voice startles him.

“Daddy, i can't sleep. Can I stay with you again?” (Y/N) stands in the doorway, clutching her stuffed animal and her blanket, shielding her eyes from the light, oblivious to what her father was about to do.

“Oh Darling, of course. Do you want me to read to you? Or we drink hot chocolate and watch a movie?” He suggests, ready to distract himself from anything that’s going on in his mind. A few minutes later his daughter cuddles into his side while watching once again Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Spencer is just happy to have his light in his life all the time and is ready to tackle any task to keep her there, may it be once again the weekly visits for anonymous narcotics or time off from work to process the events together in therapy.

Taglist:

All works:

@agentshortstacc

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl

Spencer Reid x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[octoberobserver]

“Just To Dream In The Moonlight” - (Eddie Can Sing)

Richie Tozier was on a date.

Eddie Kaspbrak was not.

Instead, he was at home, the home he had been sharing with Richie for five months now, hunched over his laptop at the kitchen table and steadily building up a knot in the base of his spine because he was too fucking old for this shit.

Fuck his life.

He had died, come back, divorced his wife, moved half-way across the country, only to find himself working from home on a Saturday night while his roommate, best friend and, oh yeah, love of his pathetic fucking life, went out to dinner with some handsome, single, ‘Instagram model.’ 

I mean, what the fuck even is that anyway?

Eddie knew this day would come, of course. Had seen it almost instantly after Richie came out, live on stage.

Richie was a catch. He was funny, smart, and…yeah, he’d admit, handsome. Bev was right. He did ‘grow into his looks.’ 

So, it didn’t take a genius to realise that him coming out would soon draw the attention of all the eligible men within a hundred mile radius and for them to show their interest. They’d be fools not to.

And you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Kaspbrak?

With a groan, Eddie dragged a palm down his face, snapping his laptop shut and pushing it away from him.

He had to cut out this wallowing bullshit. It wasn’t a good look, at all. 

Richie was on a date and that was…good.

Right?

Eddie, as a good friend, should think that’s a good thing.

Then again - has Eddie always been a good friend? 

With a roll of his eyes, he shut down that line of thinking, knowing it was the blame of the two glasses of wine he had just inhaled while pouring over Teddy’s illegible ‘reports’ while trying to ignore what Richie could possibly be doing right about now.

Or who, his mind added scathingly. 

Shaking his head, Eddie mentally-scolded himself for his stupid, jealous streak. 

Richie had left just over an hour ago, throwing him a half-hearted wave, muttering a low, “Won’t be long, Eds. Trust me,” and snapping the door shut behind him.

It hardly screamed a guy who intended on having a little Wham, Bam, Thank you, Sam. 

Not that there’s anything wrong with a one-night-stand. Richie is a consenting adult, Eddie’s treacherous brain reminded him. 

Despite this, Richie had insisted, all this week that it was “practically a business dinner.” Something that his publicist had apparently set up that was more than a little mandatory for some bullshit-Hollywood-reason. 

Richie had not seemed too psyched about it either. Lamenting to Eddie more than once that he didn’t have time for “aging-ex-Disney-stars-looking-for-the-ultimate-selfie-or-whatever.”

But that had been before he had seen the picture.

Up-and-coming actor and singer, Dylan Lemass was…hot. Even Eddie could concede that.

And, he was a little more age-appropriate (at 33) than most guys DMing Richie at four in the morning.

Richie hadn’t been quite quick enough at hiding his impressed eyebrow quirk at the picture sent to him by Bev after some googling. 

“He looks…nice,” Eddie had ground out through clenched jaw, heart panging as Richie began to nod.

“Uh, yeah. I guess. If…if that’s your type.” 

“Richie, that guy is everybody’s type.” 

He had looked at Eddie then, something indecipherable on his face. 

“I’m not usually into…blonds.” 

Usually.

That had been the only word to ring in Eddie’s head. 

“Well,” he forced himself to shrug, punching Richie harder than he intended on the shoulder, “just see how it goes. You never know…he might…he might be your Mr Right.” 

Fuck, actually, Eddie was a damn good friend, okay? He had encouraged Richie, “Mr Right” and all that shit, and helped him pick between two (admittedly ugly) shirts and everything. 

He was friend of the fucking year.

Friend.

Just a friend.

With a sigh, he crossed to the fridge, fully intending to help himself to the leftover cheesecake that Richie had bought them in celebration of four months of Eddie allowing himself dairy again.

“I know you belong to somebody new,” he sang under his breath, the old song he had heard on the radio this morning continuing to be an ear-worm, “but tonight, you belong to me.” 

He crossed the kitchen to get a spoon from the drawer, because it was an eating-straight-from-the-container-despite-that-being-gross kinda night, and sticking it directly into the strawberry mousse. 

“Although we’re apart, you’re a part of my heart,” he continued, cheesecake in one hand and picking up his half-empty glass with the other, making his way out to the couch.

“But tonight, you belong to—”

“A bit of Eddie Vedder, huh? Eddie squared, I like it.” 

He jumped so high that his red wine sloshed dangerously close to the rim of the glass.

“Fuck, Richie! Don’t scare me like that, dipshit!” 

The man in question snorted out a laugh from his position at the front door, keys still in hand, jacket half off one shoulder.

“I did say ‘honey I’m home,’ Eds. Not my fault you were too busy crooning to notice.” 

Eddie’s face flushed as he collected himself, carefully depositing his glass and cheesecake on the coffee table before straightening up and tilting his head at his friend. 

“You’re home early.” 

He didn't mean for it to sound as accusatory as it did. 

He winced.

“I mean, uh…how’d the date go?” 

Richie’s face was pretty expressionless as he shrugged.

“We wined, dined and sixty-nined. Just how I like it.” 

Eddie’s mouth dropped open.

“Wha—”

“I’m kidding, Eddie, Jesus,” Richie held up his hands as he kicked off his shoes, leaving them by Eddie’s on the rack by the door and padding over in his socks to the couch, sinking down into it with a loud sigh.

“It went exactly like I thought it would,” he mumbled to the ceiling, slipping his glasses up his forehead to rest in his hair, his eyes falling closed.

Eddie watched him for a moment, unsure what to do, before taking a seat beside him, turning to properly look at him.

He seemed…tired. Weary. 

Sad?

Shit.

Time for Eddie to be a good friend. 

“Well, fuck that guy, Rich,” he reached out and clasped Richie’s arm. “He’s clearly a dumbass if he can’t see what a fucking catch you are.” 

Slowly, those dark eyes that Eddie loved so much blinked open, meeting his with something indistinguishable glimmering in them.

“Thanks, Eddie.” 

It was the most sincere Eddie had heard his friend be in a long time.

It made his heart skip a beat.

Quietly, he reached out and picked up the glass and cheesecake, holding it out.

“Wanna watch that new Chris Hansen exposé?” 

A small smile crossed Richie’s face, breaking through the weariness like a soothing balm.

“Sounds like a plan, Eds Spagheds.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, throwing the remote at him before standing up.

“I’m opening another bottle. Don’t start without me.” 

He crossed the room, into the kitchen and towards the fridge. 

“He couldn’t sing for shit either, Eds,” Richie called after him, sounding pained. “He made me suffer through like four YouTube videos of him squawking his way through covers. I wanted to use the steak knife to stab out my own eardrums. It was fucking torture, man. You’re a hell of a lot nicer to listen to.” 

Eddie froze, bottle in hand, the soft, unthinking compliment making him blush from head to toe. 

“Eddie Vedder is technically a cover too,” he reminded him as he fought (and failed) to keep the grin from his face.

“Yeah, I know but…least it’s not the Patience and Prudence version. Talk about creepy. That’s some Children-of-the-Corn-type shit.”

Eddie snorted out a laugh as he made his way back into the living room, sinking down into the couch, his stomach lurching as his thigh pressed against Richie’s.

Richie held out his cheesecake-topped spoon, dangling it in Eddie’s face and making obnoxious airplane noises.

“Want some before I infect it with my Trashmouth germs, Eds? It’s a one time deal. I know how you feel about double-dipping.” 

Eddie leaned forward, closing his mouth around the spoon, eyes gluing to Richie’s as he swallowed the bite and pulled back slowly.

Richie’s eyes were the size of saucers, clearly shocked that Eddie had called his bluff.

“Uh, I…” he cleared his throat, “it’s good?” 

Eddie smirked, “Yeah, it’s good.” 

“Cool.” 

They lapsed into a short silence, Richie shifting to face the TV just as Chris Hansen popped up and launched into his latest case.

“Thanks, Eds. For the uh…cheesecake.” 

He nodded, deciding not to comment as Richie kicked his feet up onto the coffee table, his shoulder pressing into his as he slowly, carefully, raised the spoon to his own lips.

Eddie blushed like a teenager as he kept his gaze firmly on the TV, trying not to think about the fact that Richie so easily put his mouth somewhere Eddie just had his.

At about the twenty-five minute mark, Eddie felt a soft, familiar pressure close to his neck.

Tilting his head ever so slightly, he saw that Richie had fallen asleep, his cheek pressed into Eddie’s shoulder, his glasses askew.

A small smile spread across his face as Eddie let his own head tip back a little, resting against the couch, the lyrics of that godforsaken song flittering into his brain.

“Wait down by the stream, how sweet it will seem, once more just to dream in the moonlight…” 

(Read the entire series here)

[imsorrymom124]

Then there were two part 2

Hey, so the reaction i got from my first fic on here was insane, i appreciate everyone who liked it so i’m gonna write a part two :) so if you haven’t read part one : https://imsorrymom124.tumblr.com/post/617434984657092608/then-there-were-two

T/W: Language n stuff, drugs, panic attack, and mentions of abuse

It was almost 12 by time you woke up from your all-nighter with JJ on the beach, you were exhausted but couldn’t help but smile. You sat up and noticed your dad was at the door

“Late night last night, huh?” he said looking at his watch.

“Oh yeah, I was just uh- reading this really good book.” You say grabbing the nearest book to show you weren’t lying.

Your dad narrows his eyes in suspicion and you realize you were holding your little sister’s copy of Diary of a wimpy kid.

“I thought you were a bit more advanced than that, Y/N.” Your dad seemed amused that you were lying, you didn’t do anything that was overly bad or illegal so your parents trusted you.

“A walk down memory lane never hurt anyone!” you shout as you run to the bathroom to take a quick shower, to get the sand and thoughts of JJ off you.

~~~~~

You were eating a very late breakfast when you got a text from kie saying to get your ass in gear and come to John B’s for movie day. You had forgotten that you were supposed to watch a combination of disney and action movies with your friends (you can guess who picked which genre).

You finish your cereal and run outside to your bicycle and hop on to start riding to the house when you notice something up ahead. You hear an engine revving and you knew instantly it was Rafe. You felt your heart sink into your stomach, Rafe was the absolute last person you wanted to see right now. He pulled into your driveway and shut off the engine.

“Looking good Y/N.” He leered at you. You rolled your eyes at his attempt of flirting. You cannot believe you had dated him, he was a douchebag through and through.

“Listen Rafe, I don’t have time for this right now I have places to be.” You said while you begin to pedal away. He grabbed onto the handlebars and stepped in front of you.

“You can’t ignore me forever, you know what we had was the best thing you’re ever gonna get. I’m not a bad guy, Y/N.” He said.

“I don’t want whatever you call what we had back, Rafe. You were controlling and manipulative, you never trusted me.”

He pushed back his and angrily sighed.

“How could i trust you? You were always off with those dirty pogues!” He yelled.

“Those “dirty pogues” are my friends, and I don’t appreciate you insulting them anymore now than I did when we were together.” You said calmly.

He suddenly grabbed your wrists and got close to your face.

“You don’t know what you’re saying right now Y/N, you’re being irrational.” He whispered in your ear.

“Rafe, let go of me.” You said, barely audible, the panic and fear taking over your body.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but you’re forcing my hand.”

You pulled free of his grasp and pedalled like hell as far away from him as fast as you could.

“You can’t do this to me! You are worthless pogue trash!” Rafe yelled as you got further and further away.

~~~

You arrived at John B’s house and threw your bike away as you felt your heart race faster and faster. You put your hand on your knees and tried to steady your breathing, but your mind was running a mile a minute as Rafe’s threats and screams echoed. I just need to calm down, calm down! you thought as your eyes started to fill up with tears.

“Y/N?” you heard a familiar voice call out

Shit, JJ

You wipe your eyes and take a shaky breath.

“H-hey JJ.” You say, still trying to calm yourself down.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his eyes filled with concern.

“It’s nothing, I was just um, chased by a big dog, nearly lost my life.” You try to joke, a weak laugh escaping your lips. JJ doesn’t seem so convinced.

“You know, you can talk to me. As much as you’re there for me, I want you to know I’m there for you too.” He said stepping closer.

You know JJ would do anything for his friends, that’s just how he was. But, if you told him Rafe had confronted you and the things he said to you... JJ would kill him.

“I know JJ, just not now.”

He seemed to understand that, he nodded his head and pulled you into a hug. Nothing felt more comforting than being in his arms. You heard the door open behind you and you both jumped apart.

“You guys gonna stand there all day or are we going to do this movie marathon?” John B yelled out from his porch.

You and JJ walked into the house and saw Pope, Kie and Sarah sitting in the living room, they all greeted you and you heard popcorn popping in the kitchen.

“Y/N, you’ve been M.I.A all morning. Where have you been?” Kiara asks.

You and JJ look at each other and you put on a smile and reply,

“Late night last night, slept in.”

JJ looks down, knowing that was true but it wasn’t the reason you were late.

Nemo begins to play on the screen and you try to take your mind off Rafe and his words.

~~~

Somewhere in the middle of Terminator, you fell asleep and didn’t realize you had let your head fall onto JJ’s shoulder. You woke up to him shaking you lightly and whispering your name.

You open your eyes and once you realize what was happening you jumped up.

“Woah, where’s the fire Y/L/N?” JJ says while laughing.

“S-sorry i just was...” You trail off as you realize how late it was. You checked your phone and saw that it was 2 a.m and you had five missed calls from your dad and two from your mom.

“Shit! Oh fuck. Fuck!” You exclaim as you try and gather your bearings.

“What’s wrong?” JJ asks.

“I’m dead, I was supposed be home two hours ago!” 

“Here, I’ll garb the keys to John B’s van and I will take you home.” He said, jumping up from the couch.

You hopped in the van and JJ came running out and got into the driver’s seat. You two drove in silence for a minute when JJ cleared his throat.

“I know it’s not my place, but I know that whatever happened today really messed you up. And, I can’t help but worry about you. So when you’re ready to tell me you can.”

He placed his hand on your thigh, which normally you would think was a move but you knew he was just trying to comfort you. You felt your eyes well up with tears as the memory of Rafe crossed your mind.

“It’s just...Rafe.” You manage to get out.

“Did he hurt you? I’ll kill him I swear to god I will-” JJ starts ranting before you interrupt.

“No, no he didn’t hurt me JJ. He just... scared me.” 

JJ looks at you with those big blue eyes and you can feel the empathy has for you. You put your hand on top of his, and manage a smile.

“I have a big blonde guard dog to keep me safe, I’m okay.”

JJ seemed to calm down after that statement, even laughed a bit. You realize he was holding your hand, your heart fluttered.

“If he ever does anything to you, I want to know so I can kick his ass. It doesn’t matter if you think I shouldn’t but I have to.” He says protectively.

You pull into your driveway and JJ shuts off the engine. Some old cassette is playing from the radio and you braced yourself for the hell you would have to face inside.

“Your parents won’t actually kill you, they will yell and stuff but they know you’re pretty much a model daughter.” JJ says to relieve some of your stress

“Being seen with me won’t help your case though.” he jokes.

“The wild JJ Maybank has been cohorting with Y/N Y/L/N? What are we going to do with her?” You mock.

He feigns hurt and you tussle his hair.

“Hey! Hands off the merchandise!” JJ says while grabbing your wrists.

You giggle and then the car goes quiet. JJ is looking at you the same way he did on the beach, and suddenly you look at his lips. He brings your hands down and starts to lean in, your heart was beating out of your chest. You can feel his breath on your lips and you are mere inches away when you hear a door slam in front of you.

“Get the hell away from my daughter!” You hear your dad yell, as you jump back from JJ in shock.

God, why? You thought as you watched your dad approach the van.

You jump out of the car and try to ease the rage that your dad is about to inflict on JJ.

“Dad, stop. We didn’t do anything, JJ is my friend!” You plead, standing between him and the van.

“I wasn’t born yesterday, I know exactly what was happening. You’re out all night and now this boy is trying to get in your pants on my own damn property!” He bellowed.

JJ stepped out of the van with his hands up like he was about to be arrested.

“I’m so sorry Mr.Y/L/N, I was just trying to get her home and this won’t happen again.”

“You’re damn right this won’t happen again, I don’t want you anywhere near her again!” Your dad yelled as he started to drag you inside.

“Dad no, you don’t understand it wasn’t his fault!” you tried to reason, but it was no use. 

You turn back and see JJ looks more crushed than you have ever seen him. And that was the last thing you saw before the door was slammed in front of your face.

[underthecouchh]

To Be Cared For- A Sanders Sides Oneshot

Couch here! Just finished this story! You can find the full thing here or continue to read it below!

Summary: After the introduction to Remus, Roman goes back into the mindscape to find that the injury his brother bestowed upon him is worse than he thought, but he doesn't want the others to know. Too bad nothing gets past Logan.

Warnings: Light Blood, Mentions of a Wound, Whump, Mentions of “Ducking Out”

There is some implied Logince, and we have a whump Roman! Enjoy! 

When Roman sunk up from Thomas’ living room into the common room of the mindscape, he gave a tired sigh. What a day. The confusion, the fear, Thomas being introduced to his brother. Something that Roman had hoped would never happen, the fear that Thomas would see the worst version of him. Remus, his brother, a long lost friend and confidante, now twisted in ways that Roman couldn’t understand. He was the one who left them for the Dark Sides, it was his fault! But there was a part of Roman that knew that that wasn’t true. Roman could have been more present in his brother’s life. He could have done better. But his pride stood in his way. A part of Roman hurt just thinking about it, so he usually just chose to not think. But it hurt. It really hurt. Actually, his head was killing him, why-

Oh. That’s right. Remus hit him with his morning star. God, how hard did he hit him? Roman raised his hand to the back of his head, lightly examining the wound, hissing in pain and pulling his hand back when he felt a wave of pain roll through his skull. He looked at his hand, seeing that it was now covered in blood. Damn, Remus really hurt him. He frowned when he heard Patton, Logan, and Virgil all sink up in the common room, clearly also shaken from the event of the day. Remus was a lot to handle. Logan looked at the Prince curiously as Patton turned to him, a worn out smile on his face. 

“Everything okay, kiddo?” Patton asked.

Roman shoved his hand behind his back, hoping no one noticed. 

“Yeah, yep. Everything’s A-okay padre!” Roman shot Patton a finger gun and gave a bright smile, praying that Logan wouldn’t notice that the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“That’s pretty lighthearted for someone who ran into their long estranged twin today,” Virgil quipped, his hands folded in the pocket of his hoodie. He looked at Roman questioningly. Logan was staring a hole through his head. Roman knew he had to get out of there quickly before they caught on. 

“Yeah, well, today has been a bit exhausting, I’m gonna go to bed.” Roman quickly sputtered, backing towards the exit. Logan narrowed his eyes. 

“Stop.” Logan commanded, the Prince stopping dead in his tracks. He began to sweat. Dammit, he wasn’t fast enough. 

“He’s injured.” Logan stated matter-of-factly. Patton gasped. 

“Are you hurt, kiddo?” Patton asked, his face creased with worry. 

“N-no…” Roman stammered, looking away from them. 

“Then show me your hand.” Logan demanded, stepping closer towards Roman. Roman took a step back and shoved his hand further out of their view. Virgil’s eyes widened at the realization. 

“You ARE hurt!” the anxious side exclaimed, a look of horror across his face. “Remus really hurt you today.” 

“Oh please, it’s merely a scratch, Doctor Gloom. I have had worse!” Roman argued. Patton and Logan were getting closer to him. Patton’s face was washed in worry. 

“Kiddo, we can help you.” he spoke softly. 

Roman turned away from him, looking at the floor. 

“I’ll be fine, I always am.” 

“Not if you don’t get proper medical attention,” Logan interrupted, his mouth pressed in a firm line but his eyes unusually soft. “Let us help you.” 

Roman sighed and slowly revealed his hand, bloodied from the cut on his head. Patton gave a small gasp. Virgil didn’t take his eyes off of the hand, horrified. Roman allowed Logan to come behind him and inspect his wound. He felt Logan tense behind him. After a long while, Logan let out a sigh. 

“It will need stitches,” he declared. “Virgil, please go to my room and get the first aid kit. Patton, please help Roman to the couch so that I can dress his wounds.” 

In an instant, the sides spurred to action, Virgil disappearing from the room and Patton at Roman’s side, putting his arm around him and leading him to the couch, letting Roman lay his head on his lap. Virgil returned, kit in hand. He sat on the couch next to them, his face pale with concern. The two shared a look as Patton looked up at Logan, tears in his eyes. Logan shook his head, as if answering some unspoken question. 

“He’ll be alright, Patton, I promise. I will take good care of him.” Logan assured, gently touching the back of Roman’s head, studying the cut. Patton nodded quietly. Upon hearing these words, something in Roman’s chest swelled up. To be cared for, it felt nice. He typically just bandaged his own wounds from the imagination, sitting in his room, cleaning his cuts. But this, this felt nice. Roman knew that his friends liked him enough. Patton was always affectionate towards him, but that was Patton. He and Virgil warmed up to each other, they protected one another. And Logan, well he tolerated him, he guessed. Logan was never really present, always shut up in his room reading. Roman often found himself wondering if Logan was being nice to him because he had to, not because he wanted to. But to see him analyzing his wound so gently, it stirred something in Roman. He began to feel hot tears prick at his eyes. Try as he might to push them down, Roman failed. The tears came, rolling down his cheeks silently. He began to shake, gasping for air. Logan yanked his hand back as if he had touched a hot stove. His eyes were wide. 

“Did I hurt you?” he inquired. Roman shook his head, burying his face in Patton’s lap. 

“No,” he cried, his voice muffled, “That’s not it. I can handle pain. It’s just-” He began to sob again. 

“Oh, kiddo,” Patton murmured, “Is it because you saw your brother?” Roman shook his head once more. 

“N-no…” he stammered, “It-it’s that y-you care.” Patton rubbed his shoulder. 

“Of course we care about you kiddo!” Patton smiled, “We always have!” Virgil nodded in agreement. 

“But-but why?” Roman stammered, “I-I’m not worth caring about.” The sides raised their eyebrows at that.

“Yes you are!” Patton began, “You’re confident, you’re handsome, you’re so creative-”

“That’s all a ruse!” Roman whimpered. “I’m not confident and I’m not good enough to be Thomas’ creativity. I don’t know why you all even bother putting time into me.” 

“Who told you that?” Virgil demanded. He looked angry. “If Deceit even so much mentioned that to you-”  

“No!” Roman interrupted, “This is all my conclusion. I’ve always been a problem. Maybe Remus had the right idea, maybe Thomas should ‘hold the Romano lettuce’.” 

“Falsehood.” 

Roman lifted his head to turn towards Logan. The logical side had a look of determination in his eyes, a look that he made when he usually argued about something he was particularly passionate about. He looked into Roman’s eyes. 

“You are worth it. Your creativity has driven Thomas into a good career, your creativity has made him wildly popular, you have made him happy. He has been statistically happier when you took the reins in the career department. Thomas has always loved you, you have been one of his favorite facets of his personality. To get rid of you now would be unproductive and pointless. You are exactly where you are meant to be. I appreciate your work and your company. I would be...upset if you weren’t here. With us.” Logan’s eyes were filled with honesty. It was clear that he meant every word. Roman sniffled. 

“You mean that.” he stated. 

“I do.” Logan nodded. 

“You make us better.” Virgil quoted. 

“And we sure love having you around!” Patton exclaimed. 

Roman looked at his friends. His family. He smiled and wiped a tear from his face. 

“Very princely of me, to spill my guts in front of everyone. What a hero.” Roman noted, sniffling as he spoke. 

“Hey!” Patton exclaimed, a faux stern look on his face, “It’s very heroic to cry!” 

“Yeah, pump the breaks Princey,” Virgil smirked, “it happens to the best of us.” 

Patton interjected again, “You’d better not repress those feelings, kiddo, or I’ll have to punch ya!” Virgil and Roman laughed. Logan cleared his throat. 

“If you all don’t mind, I really need to give him stitches, if you would hold still.” Logan ordered. “Roman, this will hurt.” 

Roman shrugged, “I’m used to it, hit me with your best shot, Specs.” Logan rolled his eyes. 

“Prep.” he said. 

“Nerd.” Roman shot back, smiling into Patton’s lap. 

Once Logan had finished the stitches and cleaned the wound, all four of them settled on the couch and turned on a Disney movie, “Beauty and the Beast” per Roman’s request. Patton was the first one to fall asleep, followed by Virgil at the “Be Our Guest” number (to Roman’s horror, as that act was a “masterpiece”). By the time Belle and the Beast were dancing, Roman, too, felt his eyes droop. It had been a long day. He sighed.

“Logan,” he said. 

“Hm?” the logical side responded. 

“Thank you.” 

Roman fell asleep soon after, but before he did, he could have sworn he saw the other side smile. 

[charmisticdisappointment]

A Special New Year. Chapter 5 : Are you the One?

Hey guys!

Here's Part 5 of pure Chris Evans Fluff!

Please ignore the writing in this one. Something I had randomly written few years ago!

Please note that none of pictures used in this are mine and credit goes to the respective creators!

Hope you all are safe and enjoy this!

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The past few days have been a dream. You and Chris have been hanging out a lot more than anyone imagined. Things were moving so quickly. Chris was more welcome at your home than you yourself :P. You were once running a little late to go out for a movie with Chris cause you ended up burning the shirt you were ironing while Chris waited in the living room talking to everyone like he'd known them for ages. Pulling your hair into a rough pony you ran into the living room to find no Chris. To your surprise Chris along with your mom and sister-in-law were in the kitchen, baking.

"Hey" you said walking in as Chris pulled out the cake your mom was baking out of the oven. "Cream Cheese or Buttercream frosting?" he asked while the three stared at you. "Hmm whipped cream!", you said as they laughed at you. "I told you she'll say whipped cream" your mom commented as she pulled out a bowl to work on the icing. "Yes you did" said Chris extending his arm and pulling you close. You didn't go to the movies that day. While your mom whipped the cream Chris offered to make mulled wine for all. "You sure you don't want to go to the movies?", you asked. "Nope. I'm craving cake and mulled wine", he said making everyone laugh as he started cutting into fresh oranges while you helped him gather all the spices.

You shared this unexplainable comfort with him. Curled up to him on the sofa in the living room, digging into the banana cake and drinking mulled wine, while your parents narrated all the embarrassing stories from my childhood seeming to quite enjoy themselves was a first in many years. You often checked on him, assuring him that he didn't have to spend time with your family because they asked and can say 'No' when he wants to. But he genuinely wanted to stay.

Your niece was growing very fond of him. She'd share random secrets from  school, about you and sometimes funny details of your brother with Chris. And Chris was so good with kids. Every time he'd come home to pick you up while going anywhere, he'd make sure to get a hug from your niece cause as they both air quoted, "It's essential!".

Once Chris planned a surprise trip to the park with just the kids. You had such a fun time preparing the snacks and picking out emergency supplies. By emergency supplies Chris meant more snacks. All the snacks in the world were never enough! You didn't expect it to be such a fun day. You thought you and Chris would have to be more like nannies than a fun aunt and uncle but you were so wrong. The whole ride to the park, Chris and the kids sang along to Disney tunes. It was adorable. Once you reached the park, you found a quiet spot in the shade and laid out the blanket as all the kids jumped in. It always took time for kids to get used to you, you never knew why but kids were always scared of you. But that changed that day. Chris' niece and nephews seemed to like you a lot, informing you of everything in the park. Chris' nephew Miles would run up to you every five minutes and give you updates "I saw a bird", "Can I take home the branches I collect", "Can I have more cake" and when he tripped he came running asking for a hug. Chris was quick to take his phone and capture the moment as Miles sobbed hugging you tight. "He's in love with you" he said making you smile. 

Soon the kids got tired and came to lie down. Funnily everyone wanted to lay down on your lap, including the biggest baby of all, Chris. After a bit of a cuddle battle between the kids and Chris, they made a master strategy to get Chris to lay on your lap and the kids to lay on his, that way they'd get the best of both of you. Though there was immense fault in their logic you adored them all. Enjoying the cool breeze, their chatter was soon replaced by slight snores.  

**Something like the image below. Pearson's Fam!**

To your surprise, the biggest baby was taking a quick snooze too. You bent down and kissed him on the forehead which woke him up and you couldn't help but chuckle.

"Its getting dark Chris. We better head home. I'm going to wake these little tots up before their in a deep slumber or else we'd have to carry them all!" you said caressing his cheek.

"I want more evenings like this" Chris thought out loud bringing a wide smile to your face.

"Me too" you whispered pinching his cheeks. "But now, we got to head home".

He slowly waked the kids who were clearly unhappy about it. Soon you packed up, and picked up Miles who demanded to be carried to the car in his cute voice, while Chris carried the girls who immediately went back to sleep on his shoulders. Placing them all in the car was a task even for Captain America. But you both succeeded.

Chris carried your niece to the door since your hands were full with the picnic basket.

"Thanks for planning the picnic today Chris. I really had a lot of fun!", you said as your brother opened the door.

"Fast asleep is she?" your brother asked as he carried her into the house.

Once your brother left you two alone Chris replied, "I promise we'll have many more".

Y/N : "I'm holding onto that promise!".

All of a sudden Chris confessed.

C : "I love you"

Y/N : "I'm sorry what?"

C : "I love you! I can't believe I waited this long but I'm in love with you!"

Time froze as you looked into his glistening eyes.

C : "Y/N..?"

Y/N : "I love you too!" you said in lightening speed.

C : "I'm sorry what was that?" he joked laughing like the happiest man on earth.

Y/N : "I said I loved you, you dork" you said laughing.

Chris quickly pulled you in for a kiss.

C : "You think it's too soon?"

Y/N : "The only thing I think is life's too short. And I love you"

You said pulling him in for another kiss. You immediately heard a loud "Ewww!!! I don't wike it!!!" from the car and you both didn't have to look to know who that was.

"Alright Alright Miles!" Chris said laughing as he hugged you a goodbye and walked towards the car. You waved them goodbye as Chris drove out of sight. However you had a small knot in your stomach, not the good kind. You didn't know why you felt this way after such an amazing day.

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Once you were clean and changed into comfortable pyjamas, you headed to your mom's room who was intently reading something sitting on the bed. You got on bed and rested your head on her lap. She immediately put her book away and asked how your day was. You didn't seem the notice the change in your voice while you told her everything.

"Y/N, is something wrong?", your mother asked.

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

" Of course dear. Anything".

"Well I have this feeling about..."

And before you could complete. "About Chris. About whether you two are taking it too fast, whether he's the one for for you and all those questions which are clouding this little head?" she asked. "Did I nail it?", your mom asks smiling at you. She just did.

"Mom I'm just so confused. I just told him life is short and I loved him but is it really possible to fall in love with a man in just a few months. I haven't been in any relationship for the past many years and out of now where Chris comes and changes everything", you say with tears in your eyes.

Your mom pulls you up and gets you to sit, grabs your hand and says " You've always been scared of relationships Y/N. Let me tell you something about love. It doesn't knock often. But when it does you got to let it in. Chris is an amazing guy. Trust me. We moms always know. Its our super power. Your dad has a good feeling about him too!"

"We just have our families involved too deep. I know everyone at home have grown fond of him, especially my little niece who can't seem to keep any of my secrets!" you said laughing as you sob. "I just don't want us to end badly hurting everyone in that process!".

Your mom wiped off the tears and went on to say, "You and Chris remind me of your dad and I. We were practically strangers three months before we got married, and I haven't regretted it a bit. Well sometimes when he doesn't fix the sink" she said making you laugh. "But what we found was too precious to let these doubts, which even I had and I'm sure your dad had too back then, get in the way. I don't think you'll end badly. For all I care I know you'll be very happy with Chris and Chris will be equally happy with you."

You sighed disbelievingly.

"Oh stop it. Don't think I haven't noticed how Chris looks at you while you're talking about things as boring as Artificial Intelligence!"

"AI is not boring!"

"To me it is. Don't interrupt me. And young lady, I've also noticed how you look at him when he plays around and hugs the kids, or talks about politics which you hate. I've seen you both. I know what you both have is worth fighting for and holding on to. Just let your heart make the decisions this time will you?"

"I will" . "And Mom....I'm in love with Chris", you said smiling like an idiot.

Your mom sighed. "I knew it from the day he came home to pick you up for your final dance lesson and pulled you into his arms", she said pulling you into a hug.

As you walked out of your mom's room, you texted Chris. "You're the one." 

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Hope you all enjoyed it!

30 Days of Chris : @jtargaryen18​

[artificialqueens]

Mateo's Eight, chapter three (Branjie)--athena2

Summary: Previously: Brooke agreed to work with Vanessa Now: Vanessa goes through the plan of the heist as her team meets for the first time

A/N: Thank you so much for your feedback on this so far! I would really appreciate it if you could comment on this chapter. Your support means so much to me and helps encourage me. A thousand thank you’s to Writ for being the best beta!

Vanessa is up at the crack of dawn her first full day as a free woman, hoping she’ll return to her old ways of sleeping until 10 soon, especially now that she no longer has her job at the makeup store. Going to prison doesn’t help in the job department, and it makes her feel even worse that her mom is working a double shift today. Sometimes she would be so exhausted she’d fall asleep still in her nursing scrubs, and Vanessa wants more than ever to make things easier for her.

Her bed is too soft to leave, like a giant marshmallow beneath her. She’s buried under so many blankets it makes her sweat, but she’s too cozy under their fluffy softness to kick them off.

She eats her cereal with an eye on the clock as her mom rushes to get ready, each minute dragging like time itself is stuck in quicksand.

The second her mom leaves for work, with more kisses heaped on Vanessa’s cheek, she shoots up from the table and gets the place ready. It’s like how she used to wait for her parents to go out for the night so she could have friends over, right down to the soda and chips and pretzels she sets out for Yvie, only this time they’re discussing a million-dollar heist instead of post-prom plans. Hopefully the apartment won’t be trashed after, but you never know with Silky.

A’keria and Silky arrive first, lugging boxes and bags of Vanessa’s stuff that they had taken from her and Brooke’s apartment. Vanessa tears through them, grabbing her fuzzy slippers and running her hands over the smooth jewelry box, like she’s regaining part of herself in the clothes and jewelry and dog mug.

She digs up a gray sweatshirt much too big for her, because of course one of Brooke’s things got mixed in. Vanessa used to steal the sweatshirt from Brooke’s dresser and wear it to bed in the winter, the thing so warm and oversized it was like being wrapped in a giant blanket. She’d tuck her arms inside the sleeves and bury her nose in the soft fabric, breathing in the smell of Brooke’s lavender body wash and another calming, cozy scent that was just Brooke, no way to describe it or how safe it made her feel. Vanessa wonders what it smells like now–

A knock on the door tears her away. Yvie and Scarlet try to hide grins as they stand together, mumbling that getting here at the same time is a coincidence, but Scarlet has purple lipstick in the corner of her lip when no one wears purple lipstick but Yvie.

Nina teeters in with a box of donuts that she passes out to everyone like a white, suburban Oprah, refusing to sit until she makes sure everyone has been fed.

“Is anyone else coming?” Yvie asks. “These are good chips, by the way,” she mumbles, pulling the bowl from Silky’s lap into her own.

Vanessa meets A’keria’s eyes. “Just one more,” Vanessa says, pacing around the living room. Brooke said she was coming. Vanessa’s careful combination of money and threats had gotten her, like she knew they would. If not for the money so Brooke could take care of those bills just as big as Vanessa’s, then to cover her own ass.

“Hi.” Brooke appears out of nowhere, still graceful as ever, her steps silent on the creaky apartment floor.

Vanessa digs her nails into her palms to stamp out the rage. Brooke is here. She’s in Vanessa’s apartment, standing there, and it’s all she can do not to punch her in the face.

“What the hell?” Silky asks.

“Sorry I’m late.” Brooke squeaks.

Vanessa scoffs. It was impossible for Brooke Lynn Hytes to be late. She had probably been born on her exact due date clutching a watch in her little fist, motioning for the doctors to hurry up. It was why, as much as a pain in the ass she was about it, their cons always worked, Brooke timing everything with perfection.

“You weren’t late,” Vanessa shoots back. “You were the first one here, but you went around the block a million times ‘cause you’re a coward and didn’t want to show up first.”

A’keria chokes on her soda and Scarlet whacks her on the back.

“Donut?” Nina offers Brooke.

“I’ll take another,” Yvie says.

Out of the corner of Vanessa’s eye, Silky tries to casually sweep up the chocolate donut crumbs she got all over the couch.

Vanessa just sighs, because this is her team, for better or worse.

“I’m here now,” Brooke says cautiously, cheeks tinged pink.

“Yeah, you are.” Vanessa allows herself one look at the person who betrayed her.

She looks good, as much as Vanessa doesn’t want to admit it. Brooke still manages to make skinny jeans and a black sweater look like they came straight off the runway, making Vanessa’s heart lift as she forces it down. Brooke’s tired, though. Vanessa can see it, knows to look in her eyes, where she couldn’t hide the exhaustion that makeup and her perfect posture concealed. Her long fingers play with her sweater cuff and her lip is chewed-up, both signs of nerves. Good. If Vanessa’s caused Brooke sleepless nights and fidgety fingers and burning lips, it’s only what she deserves.

Brooke sits on the couch and pulls out her notebook. That damn notebook. It’s covered in little cartoon cats, because Brooke loves cats, had wanted to adopt one eventually. Who cares what she loves, Vanessa reminds herself. She certainly didn’t love you. But that doesn’t matter. Brooke is in her debt now, and Vanessa is in control.

“So,” Vanessa begins, feeling like a teacher in front of the class, especially as she turns on the TV connected to her laptop, “I have a plan.

“In three weeks, the Met is hosting a ball for their new historical costume and jewelry exhibit. Place is gonna be crawling with money. And I want to steal. Not the Met, but one necklace.”

“A necklace?” Yvie asks in confusion. “What are we, ten-year-old’s in Claire’s?”

“Hold all questions for the end, please,” Vanessa snaps.

She brandishes her arm for dramatic effect and clicks the next slide on her laptop. “The actress Plastique Tiara will be at the event, in a dress designed by Scarlet–” Scarlet waves to the room like a Disney princess on parade, “–who will convince Plastique to wear this 112 million dollar diamond necklace.”

Everyone blinks in confusion as Vanessa brings up a slide featuring the necklace, but she plows on. “Using our combined skills, we will get in the ball, take the necklace, replace it with a worthless copy, and leave with 16 million dollars each.”

Vanessa grins smugly in the chorus of gasps that ring out and fade into awestruck silence. She can see everyone’s heads spinning, comprehending a number they–and most people–have never seen, taking in the freedom that number will give them, freedom they’ve never had. The freedom to live where they want and do what they want, to never have to worry about medical bills or loans or home repairs or emergencies.

The only sound is the scratching of Brooke’s pen. The glide of her pen used to be like music to Vanessa’s ears, and she could trace the gentle curves of Brooke’s neat handwriting for hours. Now, it just sets her teeth on edge, makes her burn with aggravation.

Nina is the first to speak. “Pardon my French, everyone,” she says, “but holy fuck.”

—

It only takes Vanessa about ten minutes into her date with Brooke to see that beneath her cool, calm exterior, she’s really just an adorable dork.

That easy grace Brooke had moved with in the department store flies out the window as she nearly trips over her own giraffe legs to open the door for Vanessa, and she gasps in excitement when she finds out the diner serves breakfast all day.

“You a breakfast for dinner person?” Vanessa asks.

Brooke nods eagerly. “Why, are you a dinner-foods-for-dinner person?”

“Nah. I’m all for eating whatever I want at any time of day.”

“Exactly!” Brooke’s eyes sparkle and it makes Vanessa’s heart soar. “Like, what makes bacon and eggs only breakfast food?”

“Yeah! If I want pancakes for dinner and pizza for breakfast, who’s gonna stop me?” Vanessa claps eagerly as their plates arrive, French toast and bacon for Brooke and grilled cheese with fries for Vanessa.

Vanessa grabs the ketchup and drenches her fries.

“You put ketchup over the fries?” Brooke asks in horror.

“Yeah, why?”

“You have to dip them! There’s no control over how much ketchup you get per fry when you put it on top!”

“I just want to put it all on at once, Mary!”

Brooke shakes her head. “Unbelievable. Next you’ll be telling me you put the milk in before the cereal.” But she grins around her mouthful of bacon.

“Of course I don’t put the milk first. I’m not an animal.” Vanessa laughs and holds a ketchup-soaked fry out to Brooke, which she pulls from Vanessa’s fingers with her teeth. Vanessa can’t even breathe at having Brooke this close to her, close enough to see tiny flecks of gray in her green eyes, which only popped out in certain lighting.

“So, um, where do you work?” Brooke asks.

“I do makeup at one of the beauty stores,” Vanessa answers. “Most people tip pretty good, but it ain’t enough to pay the bills we got, y’know?”

“Is that why you started conning? If it’s okay for me to ask that?” Brooke says.

“It’s okay. And yeah. My dad, he was…he was sick. Insurance barely covered anything, and the medical bills just kept piling up. He died a few months ago, and we still got the medical bills, and the funeral bills, and…it’s a lot.” Vanessa just shakes her head. She and her mother both work full-time and hardly make a dent in the bills after rent and utilities. She doesn’t understand how her father getting sick, through no fault of his own, could result in almost $100,000 worth of debt. It’s like trying to bring down a mountain one pebble at a time, with the mountain growing each day, too big to see the top.

“I’m really sorry,” Brooke says. Her hand hesitantly slides across the table, and Vanessa doesn’t even think of whether she should, whether they’re at that point yet, before she grabs it. It’s cool and solid and soft, helping her focus on something besides bills and dead fathers.

“It’s okay,” Vanessa says. She and her mother have helped each get through his illness and his passing, and she feels awful for thinking it, but it’s made them closer, united in the memories of the man they both lost.

“It makes me mad, you know?” Brooke’s eyes flicker with intensity. “That we still work and have to do this just to get by. I have medical bills too, and the heat broke in my apartment last week and I had to do a scam just to pay for the repair, even though I teach full-time at a dance studio. Some people don’t have to worry about that. Some people–”

“Some people buy freaking yachts ‘cause they’re outta shit to buy,” Vanessa says.

“Yes!” Brooke exclaims. “You really get it. Get me.” Her eyes shine in surprise, like she can’t believe what she just said, but Vanessa has already thought it.

“Yeah,” Vanessa agrees, reaching over to snatch a piece of Brooke’s bacon. “And if you ever have heating problems again, my place is really warm. Maybe you could even show me some dance moves.” She bats her eyelashes.

It’s a risk to throw something like out there, especially on a first date, but Brooke’s smile is all the reward Vanessa needs.

—

Vanessa stands tall in her living room, everyone on the couches still recovering from her announcement, hisses of 16 million slipping into Vanessa’s ears.

“Can I talk to you?”

Vanessa sighs. Leave it to Brooke to interrupt her moment of blissful triumph for questions. Vanessa leads her down the hall, grumbling about buzzkills under her breath.

She crosses her arms and stands expectantly in front of Brooke, raising an eyebrow to show that she’s not giving an inch in this, that Brooke better stop raking a hand through her hair and speak.

“So, do they know?” Brooke begins.

“Know what?”

“What the real mark is,” Brooke says. “I know you. I can see the bigger target here.”

I know you.

Vanessa can’t help but feel that rush of warmth at Brooke knowing her so well, remembering that connection she and Brooke once had, when they could look at each other and have entire conversations with eyebrow-raises and smirks. Brooke always knew her plans, always got what she was trying to do like no one else. It had been a relief back then, to have someone she could trust, who just knew her, knew her coffee order and favorite movies and how to cheer her up when she was upset. A comfort to know she wasn’t alone, that she had someone.

But now, it’s infuriating. That she had given all those parts of her to Brooke, and now Brooke would always have them even when Vanessa wants to take them back. Like no matter how clever she thinks she is, Brooke can see right through her. Vanessa can never free herself from that connection they had, a connection Brooke severed clean in a police station six months ago.

“They don’t,” Vanessa admits, “And I’m not gonna tell them. It’s safer that way. Less chance of someone giving me up.” She spits the last three words at Brooke with the strongest death glare she’s ever managed. If looks could kill, the whole street would be dead. Brooke at least has the decency to look embarrassed, a wrinkle forming between her eyebrows.

“Vanessa, I never meant–”

Vanessa raises her hand to shush Brooke. “Don’t. Just don’t. Go over your notes, tell me if it’ll work. You do your job, I pay you, and I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“Okay.”

Now it’s Brooke’s turn to stand, still as a statue, notebook outstretched in a gloat. Her face is impassive even though Vanessa knows how much she needs this money, and steam nearly comes out of her ears. Brooke can stand here all day, with those stupid dancer legs of hers, and Vanessa needs to move this along and get back to her group before Silky and A’keria have a repeat of last year’s pillow fight.

“So, tell me. Is this gonna work?” Vanessa finally cracks, ignoring how Brooke’s smile makes her own lips twitch up, a muscle memory.

“It can work, yes. But…”

“But what?”

“This is risky. It’s risky, and intricate, and if I’m sticking my neck out like this, I want to be involved, so I can make sure this is done properly.”

The words slam into Vanessa, filling her with rage. Brooke didn’t trust her to do this, when Vanessa had planned the entire thing herself, foresaw every possible conclusion and solved every possible problem while behind the bars Brooke put her in. Brooke didn’t trust her, when they had once trusted each other with everything.

“Pretty rich of you to not trust me when you’re the one who ratted me out,” Vanessa says.

Brooke sighs. “Vanessa–”

“Whatever. You want to be involved how? You’re gonna be there the night of the ball, what else do you want?” Vanessa demands, certain she doesn’t like where this is going.

“I want to be there when you make most of the moves,” Brooke says.

“Hell no! I’m not lettin’ you breathe down my neck the whole time!”

“You have a lot to do,” Brooke argues. “You need to schedule a meeting with Scarlet and Plastique to make sure Plastique wears the necklace. Vogue has already starting hiring ball assistants and I’m assuming you’re gonna send Nina inside, so you need to get her an interview–”

“I know what I have to do!” Vanessa snaps, reluctantly impressed at how fast Brooke’s mind works, how quickly she put the pieces together. Brooke saw cons as puzzles, each step an interlocking piece to build the picture Vanessa dreamed, her focus more on the goal and how her charm could get them there.

“Then you also know you need me,” Brooke states. No emotion, no hint of desire, just pure, hard fact. “The organization this is gonna take, the scheduling…you need me.”

Vanessa clenches her fists. She had tried to downplay her desperation on the phone, but obviously Brooke picked up on it. Vanessa might be able to do this without Brooke, but can she take that chance on something this big, this important, this life-changing?

“Fine.” Vanessa sighs. “Meet me at the Met Friday at 10. Yvie’s working on a blindspot in their security cameras and I’m gonna test it. Can you get Nina that interview?”

Brooke nods. She looks at her shoes before pulling a piece of paper from her pocket, the familiar motion making Vanessa dizzy. “This is my new number. Just thought you might need it.”

Vanessa shoves the paper in her pocket and heads back into the living room without waiting to see if Brooke is behind her. She used to walk without checking because she knew Brooke would always be there, would always have her back. Now she does it because she just doesn’t care.

Vanessa stands in front of them, forgetting her annoyance of having to work with Brooke in favor of the pride and riches she would earn after this.

“Okay, everyone,” Vanessa says, “welcome to Mateo’s Eight.”

“There’s only seven of us.”

Vanessa huffs in exasperation. “Damn it, Yvie, c’mon, this was my big moment!”

“Well, there is.”

Vanessa bites her lip and makes a quick head count. Math never was her strong suit. But Mateo’s Seven just doesn’t have the same ring, so she scoops up Riley from where he’s latched on to Brooke’s ankle–the traitor; he always jumped on Brooke when she walked in the apartment, even if she had only been gone an hour–and hoists him into the air.

“Riley’s number eight. I don’t want to hear arguing.” She straightens her posture, trying to get back her earlier confidence, wishing there was some heroic music in the background.

“Welcome to Mateo’s Eight.”

[art-by-rozzai]

had a bad day so more band au headcannons

anyone who wants to write a fic for this is absolutely allowed if they tag me, i’m not gonna make any full length ones but i might post some one shots eventually

anyway i had a really shitty day so here’s me self projecting and creating more band headcannons

check out the first here~

check out the second here~

tag list~

@athenashipsthings @thelesbianspoon @flowersheep @insert--self--hatred @nafsbluebery @sunflowerss0 @nerdiegurlie @stars-and-rose

okays lets do this✨

so last when we left the boys, it’s the day before they release their album “death of a bachelor”

to celebrate, roman suggests they get dinner out and maybe go see a movie??

logan is suprisingly the first to agree, saying that if he doesn’t get to watch the “scary stories to tell in the dark” movie soon he will explode. plus there’s no food in the fridge

virgil is also down to go see the movie, but is more reluctant to get dinner. he hates formal things, so to make him feel more comfortable roman offers they go to the local diner that he knows has virgil’s favorite chicken parm dish and virgil can’t say no to that

patton doesn’t want to see the movie at first-he really doesn’t like scary movies. but he wants dinner with his friends and he might be able to latch onto logan during the scary parts so he goes with it

so patton offers go help virgil with his hair and they end up getting ready together! they talk about everything they can think of as patton does hair and virgil does makeup and they both do each other’s nails and then they’re ready to go out whooooppp

meanwhile roman collapsed on logan’s bed an hour ago and began complaining about how he needed to impress virgil to get him to fall in love with him and has been talking ever since

logan doesn’t mind tho, roman helps him pick out a nice outfit and gives tips on how to woo patt

even though it’s not a date

yet

anyways they get to the diner and they all have an incredible time! by the end of the meal they’re in tears laughing at each other, from roman’s hysterical stories to virgil’s banter to logan’s fun facts and spilt tea to patton’s enthusiastic impressions

they love each over like family :)

and the movie is top notch. virgil is in love with it, him and logan spend the whole time guessing what’s going to happen while roman hides behind virgil and patton shoves his face full of popcorn and squish himself into logan’s arm

and yes virgil can’t stop laughing and logan’s immediate tensing up and blushing

after the movie they just don’t want to go to bed quite yet, so the friends head to the park and enjoy lying in the grass, talking and letting logan point out the stars while roman makes up stories of the aliens and space princesses that protect the galaxy

virgil makes everyone his famous hot chocolate and they stay up until midnight to release their songs

and then the clock strikes 12 and death of a bachelor is available to download

the boys decide that staying up and watching the comments flood in is a terrible idea and instead they put on some disney films and fall asleep on the couch

it’s nice

they wake up to millions of notifications

everyone is freaking the fuck out

this album ??? is beautiful ???

all of the fans are in love but also have a lot of questions-so the fab four start doing monthly live-streams to just chat and answer questions and catch up with their fans

“are y’all single?”

um

well yes

but uh

this question is not goOD ROMAN WHAT THE FU-

anyway virgil comes to patton one day, slams the door, puts his face in a pillow and screams “PATT IM SO GAY HELP”

because roman called his hair pretty this morning and yes it’s stupid and it happens all the time but this time was different

don’t worry tho they won’t admit their feelings to one and other for another three months

death of a bachelor does really well-all of the songs end up going either gold or platinum

their song “victorious” is played on the radio all of the time

so november rolls around and the friends decide it’s time to go on tour! starting with just north america, they post a video on the youtube channel that gives all the locations and dates

it’s to start in april:

virgil is extremely nervous. being on the road for so long and preforming live in front of thousands of people and will anyone even show up and-

logan is slightly nervous but honestly he really enjoys preforming-once he ties the tie around his head like a bandanna he almost transforms into the punk rock bassist he is known by the fans to be

patton!!! is!!! bouncy!!!!!!!! he wants to meet all these people!!!! and he can’t wait to give back to all of them by preforming and meet and greets and social interaction makes him really happy!!

roman is so excited-preforming is his thing. when he’s on a stage, he’s in his element! he can’t wait to show off and travel and be with his friends for even longer :)

but they can’t go on tour with their boring old instruments sooooo

roman and patton team up to paint and decorate all of the instruments

virgil’s piano matches his jacket, lots of purple and swirls and patton paints the classic nightmare before christmas scene on the front (u know, this one but stationary)

and they decorate the microphone stand purple and silver and black

logan gets a dope space themed bass-the outside is dark blue and the inside is painted like a galaxy, with a plain silver pick

roman paints his gutair with a castle and sunset in the back, with a bright red pick to play

patton’s drums have clouds on them nowww like a sunny day with blue puffy clouds

they’re ready to go! but it’s still only december so u kNoW whAt ThaT mEaNs

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

since none of the squad are jewish, (although technically patton is half jew since his mom is, but he just really loves christmas and always celebrated that growing up so)

they decide to celebrate at their house

they invite all of their close family to the apartment and have a lovely dinner

and yeah virgil doesn’t invite anyone cuz he was adopted by a shitty family who he doesn’t talk to anymore, bcuz all they did was try and get money out of him

and yeah he has a panic attack when all of his best friends are excitedly talking about their family coming over

and y e a h roman helps him calm down and swears that he will always b there to protect virgil bcuz he’s never met anyone quite like him and it’s not easy to explain but he just wants virgil to know he’s safe with roman

and yeah virgil wishes he could stop falling for roman but the ground keeps disappearing beneath him

so time skip a bit closer to christmas and logan bursts into romans room with an idea

“i can rap”

“we know”

“you can rap”

“kind of but okay”

“christmas rap song for fun”

“yeS”

so they write “gonna kill santa claus” (look it up) and decide to post it on the youtube channel on christmas eve

they film a music video for it where they jokingly set up different traps for santa like poison cookies and fire cracker chimneys and more

virgil sings the chorus, logan raps the rap parts, roman does the bridge, and patton lays down a pretty sick beat

it comes out really nice and honestly really fucking funny

so after a delightful family dinner with everyone over, the friends release that video and the internet fucking dies it’s so funny and logan can rap (??????) and ohmygod all of them are so cute what the fuck

anyway back to christmas dinner

roman has like 6 little sisters, and his mom and dad and papa and nana over

(he’s latino, his mom and dad are both from the dominican republic)

patton invites his mom and dad and little brothers, thomas and dee

and logan invites his two moms

everyone comes over for lunch and gets along reallyyyyyy well

logan’s got the punk mom and soft mom dynamic whereas, patton’s family is all super kind and like homey and boisterous and romans family is wild and crazy and funny and they all instantly click

presents are passed around, lots of money and books and movies and stickers and jewelry

really sweet stuff

and then everyone goes home and the friends have their own little gift exchange

virgil got logan the stephen king book “insomnia” and a (sort of) joke blanket with benedict cumberbatch’s face on it that he can use when he goes stargazing at night

logan gets virgil some noise cancelling headphones and a framed picture of a wedding with virgil’s face cropped on one and gerard ways face on the other

they both can’t stop laughing at the fact they attacked each other’s celeb crush

virgil gets patton a cute little cat stuffed animal that when u push the hand it’s a recording of all of them saying “we love you!!!” and a really sweet card

patton gets virgil a eyore necklace that was super expensive but matches patton’s winnie the pooh one and a itunes card for him to buy more music (and yes a really sweet card)

virgil gets roman two tickets to see mean girls on broadway and a framed picture of the two of them

yeah roman tears up a bit fuck u

roman gets virgil a collage of him and roman and a handmade hoodie that virgil is never going to take off oh and also meet and greet passes to see dan and phil at their interactive introverts tour

and maybe virge gets a little teary too

roman gets patton a recipie book and an apron that says “you BAKE my day”

patton gets roman a new ukelele and a printed out pamphlete of theatre song chords that he can play

roman gets logan the sherlock script and an empty box just to fuck with him

logan gets roman the entire grimm fairytale series and tapes a note to the front that says “bcuz u are an illiterate fool😜”

patton gets logan a phone case with the stars that were out on the day they met, hand painted framed picture of him and logan, and comic con tickets for this spring

logan gets patton tickets to the art museum downtown, a gift card to the coffee shop next to it, and two gold hoop earrings with a note that says “next week, friday at 7. it’s a date ;)”

so christmas is pretty good for all :))))))

and that’s the end of this one i’ll make a part four soon lmao

[peachyuns]

roommate!jaehyun

pls imagine having him as a roommate it would be a wreck

this is also unintentionally turned into a friends to lovers thing sorry

oof so first off

he’d have that one candle he took to nct night night

and he would bring it with him everywhere he goes

like if he’s moving from his room to the living room

he has to take it

but he would still ask you all the time if you were okay with the smell

and honestly, as long as jaehyun liked it you were cool lmao

movie nights!!!!!!!!

loves watching disney movies

so even if you hate them, he’ll force you

and he’s jaehyun so he gets what he wants

builds a fort using the couch and won’t let you in

he wants to cry over aladdin aLOne

but when he does let you in he uses you as a fucking pillow

and at that point it isn’t even as romantic anymore

bc when he falls asleep he starts drooling on ur shirt

and ur just like...................................how did we end up here

the rest of nct are always over

and some of them try to flirt with you but

ofc jaehyun stands in the way

bc ur his roomie not theirs 

dream loves you

you’re practically their mother

chenle accidentally calls you mom at one point lmao

cooks for you all the time

he makes sure to wake up before you so he could cook breakfast for the two of you :((

so a boyfriend but not really bc you guys are “roommates”

the only thing bad about it is when he tries to experiment with different recipes

you’re the taste tester

and sometimes it’s not very good hajdkjgfds

it pains you telling him how disgusting it is but you refuse to have him cook that for you for the next 3 months

he would never let you near the stove

bc the first time you tried to cook you almost burnt the apartment down

this is just me but he looks like he’s afraid of bugs lmao

so you’d have to kill all of them

even if it’s like 2 am 

he will literally wake you up to kill a tiny ass spider

“you are 6 feet!!!!!!! what is the spider gonna do to u????”

ghost hunting around the apartment lmao

“did u fucking hear that y/n. did you”

“there’s something walking in ur room good luck sleeping there tonight”

turns out it’s just that raccoon that’s always outside ur apartment building at night

but you both still stay up until like 3 am with ur stupid ghost radar u got from the app store

“if there’s a demon here just know i won’t hesitate to sacrifice you”

“wow jaehyun you’re a great fucking roommate”

you guys get a lot of complaints from the other people in your building

the fire alarm is always going off bc of you

you and jaehyun constantly yelling at each other not to finish the banana milk so quickly

sometimes you have a little too much fun at your friend’s house

and end up coming home drunk off ur ass lmao

jaehyun is super sweet about it

carries to you to your room :(((

but will probably hit your head on the wall bc he forgets to turn sideways at the doorway hdjfkdsjbv

“oops”

you’d force him to stay and lay with you

but he’s super flustered bc what.the.fuck

“y/N i can’t stay with u i don’t want to be thrown up on”

but you force him anyway and he just lies there awkwardly

you’ll probably wake up on top of him

drooling on his shirt 

“y/n i cannot breathe”

“ur really comfy to sleep on why don’t we do this more often”

cue the awkward silence

and the jaehyun literally pushing you off of him to run into his room and scream

it’s a lillll awkward after that

but it’s kind of a cute awkward

like u catch him staring at you a lot 

and when he looks away he’s smiling to himself :((((

when you’re doing basically anything

he just looks at you with pure adoration 

“don’t look at me like that ur makin me blush”

“it’s not my fault u look rlly pretty doing that” god i’m crying

“jaehyun i’m juSt drinking water!!!!!!!!!!”

“ok how about now u be my girlfriend”

you guys were pretty much dating before lmao

but now there’s kissing

like a lot

oof

and this turned into a friends to lovers au ok anyway

[poppyssupergirl]

Hair Care

Based off a head-cannoning session with @quietpersona as I finished my last essay of the semester. 

You can also read this on AO3

This is SuperCat btw, set in season 1. It dumb.

As most interactions begin with Kiara, this one begins normally. A pen through her hair.

It's safe to say that perhaps (maybe) Cat has thought about replacing the pens with her own fingers. To let those long, silky strands slide across her palm before leaning in to press her lips-

Ah yes, budget sheets.

Anyway, Kiara, besides never using conditioner and always looking like a whirlwind had ripped through her house, leaving her with nary a hairbrush to be found, has decent enough hair.

------

The next item is a little… less normal. 

She's noticed the uptick in her little assistant’s snacking habit since last week. But really, with a new WonderGirl flying around National City, she hasn't had the time to think about it.

Well besides the way she licks her fingers after every sweet treat.

She thinks about that more than she even admits to herself.

But watching Kerian pull a small bag of beef jerky from between her scrumptious tresses is just… weird. But her police radio hook-in beeps out a warning and Cat's already snapping at reporters to get out there “And see if that SuperGirl shows up”

----

Kara keeps medical supplies in her hair.

This would make a lot less sense if Supergirl wasn't flying around and slapping Elmo band-aids on every child's knee in, what could conceivably be, the entire fucking universe. Honestly, the woman’s a damn menace to Cat's media coverage. She needs something between these alien fights that's not Kara kneeling down and being so gentle and kind and kneeling and why in all of fucks sake is it her own luck that Cat always gets the weird assistants?

Not that she'd ever replace Kara, she’s damn amazing at her job, but still, a superhero? How even is this real?

Helpful at times? Yes. Not helpful when Kara galivants off to bandage yet another knee? YES.

----

At this point she just shouldn't be surprised at what Kara keeps in her hair. Or drops out of Kara's hair, right on the floor in front of her glass door.

A kitten?

An actual kitten?

Like of the feline householdus order? Or family? Or what the fuck ever, there's a cat on her floor. A cat. Alive.

It mewls pitifully and Kara spins so quickly she rustles papers on neighboring desks.

How has she kept any secret ever?

Her eyes meet Cat's, and Cat's a bit in shock so she just shakes her head. She will not fall to those eyes, she will not fall- no,

Fuck

And pretends to be too caught up in budget sheets to notice anything else.

---

Okay. Look. There's only so much Cat can take.

Kara, damn her, is asleep on her balcony. Suited up with sticks and twigs and leaves and a branch the size of Cat's arm tangled in her hair.

Cat, or course, keeps a brush in her en suite (unlike Kara who keeps no brushes anywhere at all, ever) and this is too many fantasies rolled into one and Cat never said she was a good person, okay? Okay.

She starts with the leaves, they're malleable. With a brush and her fingers and the unending anger of a woman who is most certainly NOT in love with her stupid, genius, superhero assistant, she works all but the branch out before Kara starts to twitch awake.

Her eyes. Oh no. Her droopy, dumb, sleep-filled, cute-as-can-be eyes with her tousled hair and

Jesus

“Ms. Grant?”

“Ah, you're finally awake. Here I thought I could get Robert to chainsaw this branch out of your hair without waking you.”

Kara chuckles and closes her eyes as Cat continues to brush like she trusts Cat. Like she likes what Cat is doing. Like Cat's going to have a damn hernia if Kara makes that content little grumble again.

“His name is Randolph, Ms. Grant.”

“Same difference”

Like she trusts Cat.

-----

Her assistant is asleep at her desk, again. Though, Kara does have a fairly good excuse, what with the alien attack and the clock hitting 11:37 pm. Carter’s at his father's, so Cat had used the extra time to put together a much better lay-out than what had been dropped on her desk earlier that day.

She's certainly not moping. She certainly wasn't harder on her staff this fine, fine Friday. She doesn't mind weekends alone. Not at all.

So anyway, Kara's asleep and there's nothing in her hair for once, well, not that Cat can discern anyway. She's certainly close enough to discern things too, across the desk in fact.

Kara has this gravity to her, a weight, that Cat just can't pull herself from. It's gotten bad too. Her fantasies aren't just new and exciting sexual forays anymore.

She's waking up in Kara's arms and making her pancakes and laughing at the chocolate on her nose and waiting for Carter to wake up so they can all go to the zoo, which is, frankly, fucking ridiculous and her therapist isn't helping at all.

“Follow your heart, Cat.”

Follow your feet out the damn door, she can get advice like that from the Disney channel that Carter pretends he doesn't still love.

She doesn't know what overtakes her -okay she does but ‘romantic sentimentality’ sounds dumb- but she takes a pen and a piece of paper and scrolls out a little poem. Valentine's day is just around the corner, right?

She folds the paper and slips it ever so gently into Kara's tresses, lingering just for a moment, before heading back into her office.

---

She doesn't notice Kara pulling the paper from her hair as soon as she’s turned around.

---

It's a shitty day. It's raining, Cat's shoe broke, there's a trashcan fire starting on her damn boardroom group message page, and Kara still has not replied to her poem. So she's a jittery mess when her driver says it'll be yet another twenty minutes because of flooding.

“Shit.”

“Need a lift, Ms. Grant?”

And okay, Cat maybe has a small heart attack and presses herself against the concrete wall she's taking shelter against, but that's certainly all Kara's fault. And why in all of the good graces’ names, does she look so good sopping wet?

Okay no- no, not that way, stop. No, like drenched from rain not- no

“Oh, shouldn't you be off saving people from burning buildings or something?”

She smirks.

Kara

Smirking

What?

“I also get calls to save cats from gutters though.”

Oh, oh no. No that is where Cat draws the line. Puns on her name are just, no highly muscled arms are wrapping around her after such a comment. Not today!

But Kara's laughing and hiding her guffaws (guffaws? Really? Ugh) behind her hand and Cat can't muster up any more irritation than a roll of her eyes and a slap to Kara's bicep.

“Har har, very funny, now up up and away, Supergirl. If you're planning to actually save this damsel in distress, anyway.”

“I always save the damsel in distress.”

Well, saving maybe, but being pressed up against Kara's wet, warm body and rocketing above the city puts Cat into a whole new kind of distress.

“I liked your poem.”

Oh shit

“I've been trying to come up with a reply that's equally eloquent, but I kinda lose my train of thought when I look at you.”

What?

“I'd very much like to paint you though, if uh, you wouldn't mind, of course!”

-

“.... Cat?”

At some point, even the mightiest break.

---

She's delicately placing tiny chocolates into Kara's hair before her… partner? Girlfriend sounds very odd to her… wakes up and demands something to eat. Which, given last night’s activities, very well could be Cat herself.

“Cat, what are you doing?”

“Is your hair as strong as the rest of you? Can it be cut?”

“Uh, it's not but it's still strong? Alex said something about it being dead cells and not living and I lost her after that, but it can be cut with really sharp scissors made of a hard material. Why? Do you think I should get it cut?”

Mhhhhh, well that would be quite the look too. “No, or not yet at least, but you've always got things in your hair. It doesn't ever hurt?”

“Oh, no not really.”

“Hmmm”

She goes back to placing chocolates in the silence of the morning.

“I'm hungry.”

“You're always hungry.”

“I could really do with something sweet and savory right now.”

“That sounds like an unhealthy breakfast.”

“Don't worry, I'm sure we can find some way to burn it off together.”

“Mhhmm, and am I partaking in this breakfast?”

“Well… are you hungry?”

Kara sits up, chocolates tumbling from her hair, and the sheet slips down to her waist.

“Oh, very.”

[damndescendants]

No One Will Hurt You

Writer - @damndescendants

Requested - @omggoldengarbage 

Can you do a one shot of reader figuring out Harry's been abused at the Isle and the reader comforts him after an anxiety attack? 

Disclaimer - I do not own any of Descendants’ characters and/or ideas all credit goes to the creator and producers of Disney Descendants • Pairing - Harry Hook x Reader Summary – The sea three have finally been asked to come to Auradon where Harry and the daughter of Rapunzel and Eugene had grown close. He needs her more than ever after an incidence.   Warning(s) - panic attack, probably swearing, talk of abuse

A/N - I do not romanticize any mental disorders and I’m always here for any and everyone if you need someone :)

“(Y/N)! There you are!” Evie yelled out at Rapunzel’s daughter as she swung the girl’s door open with a band as it hit the wall, interrupting the silence that developed the room while she worked on homework.

“What’s wrong?” (Y/N)’s heart was pounding at the sight of the panic in her newfound best friend’s eyes.

“It’s Harry. C’mon!” Evie grabbed (Y/N)’s arm and yanked her towards the entrance without any further explanation.

“What’s going on, Evie?” (Y/N) was worried as the girls quickly made their way through the hallways of the dormitory. Harry Hook had come to Auradon only a few months ago along with Gil and Uma. Harry and (Y/N) nearly instantly hit it off and they quickly became a couple so the fact that something was wrong with Harry scared (Y/N) more than anyone could understand.

“Harry got hurt at practice and now he won’t calm down.” Evie’s explanation didn’t do much to give (Y/N) insight into what was going on.

“Good you found her!” Mal said as she saw the blue haired girl and the (H/C) come down the stairs and into the main lounge of the dormitory.

“Where is he? And can someone explain what ‘won’t calm down’ means?” (Y/N) was talking fast.

“He’s by the river bank. Just go to him and remember that the Isle isn’t the nicest of places.” Mal said quietly. (Y/N) was more confused than before but nodded her head and began to run towards the river just off the campus. 

<<>>

“Harry!” (Y/N) had finally made it to the river and found the pirate who sat on one of the chairs spread around for students to lounge in, the closer (Y/N) got she could his body shaking and his chest rising and falling quickly as his breathes were shallow and quick paced.

Harry didn’t respond but he raised his head to reveal his bloodshot, puffy eyes, tears slowly streaming down his face. When he leaned back in the chair, she saw the cut on his chest that what she assumed was the injury he got at fencing practice that Mal and Evie were talking about.

“Harry what’s going on?” (Y/N) questioned the pirate as she sat down in a chair next to him, Harry fell to his knees in front of the girl. He wrapped his arms around her lower back and gripped onto her like a child does a teddy bear, he buried his face into her lap, his breathing still labored and shaky.

“He’s going to hurt me.” Harry rasped out. (Y/N) was confused but didn’t want to push anything while he was in this state. She laced her fingers thorugh his hair while her other hand rubbed in his back in a comforting manner.

“No one will hurt you. I promise you, Harry.” (Y/N) whispered not knowing what to do or say. A cross between a broken sob and a scream racked itself through the pirate as he held (Y/N) even tighter. It broke the girl’s heart to see the one person she cared the most for so broken and vulnerable and there was nothing she could do in that moment that she knew of. After moments that felt like days to the couple, Harry’s breathing had finally slowed back to normal and he stopped shaking.

“Are you okay?” (Y/N) questioned after more moments of silence, the pirate below her only nodded, not raising his head from her lap. He was almost ashamed for the way he let this get to him.

“Can we go home?” Harry questioned, his voice was horse and quiet.

“Of course.” (Y/N) stood then helped Harry stand, wrapped his arm around her shoulder, as they slowly made their journey back to the dormitories.

<<>>

“I’ll be right back.” (Y/N) said as Harry only nodded, his exhaustion getting the best of him as he was already nearly asleep. (Y/N) had patched up the large cut he received just under his collarbone. (Y/N) quickly walked through the dormitory and to her dorm the she shared with Uma only to open it and see all the Villain Kids but Harry in her room.

“How is he?” Gil asked upon seeing the beautiful descendant enter the room.

“He’s tired but okay. I’m gonna go back and keep an eye on him.” (Y/N) responded as she grabbed a small bag and a couple of little things she would be needing like a change of clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush, and a book to read since she knew she wouldn’t be sleeping much.

“You can stay in our room, Gil.” Carlos said and Gil answered with a smile and a “Thanks.”

“Uma, can you walk with me?” (Y/N) asked as the Sea-witch nodded her head and followed her out the door after (Y/N) told everyone goodnight.

“I think Harry had a panic attack.” (Y/N) started she didn’t know how to bring this up.

“I thought so. He used to have them all the time on the Isle they stopped after he met you.” Uma instantly responded.

“What?”

“Harry had attacks and nightmares all the time because of his dad.” Uma said as she looked straight ahead, (Y/N) stared right at her as they walked, “His sisters were the ones who helped him through them the most but when they both left to live on the other side of Isle they got worse then we came here and he met you and they got better.”

“What do you mean they were because of his dad?” (Y/N) was scared of the answer.

“His dad used him as a punch bag for years while he was drunk. Harry would come to the ship full of bruises and cuts at least once a week. Broken a little more every time. He always thought he was a mistake and was constantly full of anger. Took it out on everybody.”  Uma said and both the girls felt tears pricking at their eyes at the thought. There was a long moment of silence, they were in the hallway where Harry and Gil’s room was now.

“You changed him for the better though.” Uma broke the silence.

“What?” (Y/N) didn’t expect that. The girls stood in front of the room that Harry slept in.

“His whole demeanor change the moment he saw you. It nearly made me believe in soulmates. He doesn’t shut up about you. He loves you, he really does. I’m glad he found you.” Uma admitted how she felt about the princess she now called her best friend.

“Thank you, Uma.” (Y/N) smiled before the two girls hugged.

“Of course.” Uma responded as they broke apart, she began to walk down the hallway they once came from to go back to the room they shared. (Y/N) was opening the door when she heard Uma call her name, causing her to focus her attention back to the light blue-haired girl.

“Take care of Harry.” She smiled.

“I always will.” (Y/N) returned the smile before walking into the room. She immediately walked over Harry and saw him breathing deeply as he slept. (Y/N) took in the features of his face and how soft, innocent, and young he looked while he slept. She smiled gently before pressing a tender kiss to his temple before changing out of her light blue jeans and light purple top to put on athletic shorts and a black and white tie-dyed hoodie. She then pulled her (H/C) hair in a messy ponytail not wanting to really do anything with it before crawling into bed next to Harry, her back was against the headboard. 

“Finally.” He mumbled, startling the girl who thought she was careful with her movements to avoid waking him up. Harry pulled (Y/N) into his arms, his head resting on her stomach she put a hand in his hair.

“Go back to sleep, I’m right here.” (Y/N) whispered before pulling out her book and began reading. She didn't want to fall asleep in case he needed her.

<<>>

Sunlight peaked through the curtains to wake up (Y/N), she didn’t even realize she had fallen asleep.

“I was wonder when you would wake up.” Harry startled (Y/N) as he spoke from beside her.

“How are you doing?” (Y/N) rolled over to look Harry in the eyes as he looked down at her. He moved her to lay fully down on the bed during the night when he woke up and saw her sleeping sitting up.

“I’m better. Thank you.” Harry said kissing his lover’s forehead. there were moments of silence between them before Harry broke it.

“You know what Uma said was true.”

“What?” (Y/N) was confused.

“You two aren’t the quietest talkers.” Harry smugly replied with a smile tugging at his lips. “Everything Uma told you was true. From what my dad has done to me to how I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” The girl said quietly, not knowing how to go about talking about the touchy subject.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault, love. I’ve got you and that’s all that matters now.” Harry said.

“Still. You didn't deserve that, you’re too good of a person for this world and I’m always going to be here for you. No one will hurt you, I promise. I love you, I always have and I always will.” (Y/N) rambled on, she was going to keep going on before Harry leaned down and took her lips in a deep kiss.

“I know you do, love.” His accent was deep as he pulled away from the kiss, “and I love you more than anyone will ever know. No one will ever hurt you either, I’ll hook them.” Harry said, his infamous smirk appearing on his face at the last of his statement. They soaked up each other’s company and love for a few more minutes, foreheads pressed together before the door swung open to reveal Gil, smiling ear to ear.

“Guys! C’mon! There’s pancakes being served in the cafeteria!” Gil was always such a breath of relief.

“Get out!” Harry yelled before throwing a pillow at his fellow pirate. They were all laughing as Gil closed the door his quick, heavy footsteps were heard running down the hall.

“Let’s go get some food, princess.” Harry said getting out of bed, (Y/N) follow suit and soon enough they were on their way down to the cafeteria, hand-in-hand, smiling knowing nothing in this world could ever tear them down.

<<>>

A/N Another one done! I hope you enjoy and it's not proofread like normal and probably makes no sense lol

Edit: Proofread, finally!

[helpingmehelpmyself]

Things I Used to Enjoy- March 29, 2021

Gosh, I have so many things going through my head. I miss the days I was able to daydream, read fanfiction, and watch television. I remember the day would go by and I would question where the time went. But it felt like self care to me then and I enjoyed it. Now it feels like a useless distraction that no longer serves its purpose. 

I want to enjoy the things I used to enjoy. I love fanfiction (particularly, Teen Wolf sterek fanfiction. I can also ship steter, starrish, and stackson. I believe they can all compliment Stiles well). I would squeel while reading and get excited every time I found a new fanfiction that fits my criteria. Sometimes I have good days in which I can read fanfiction and fall into the story.

I used to love daydreaming. My imagination is basically a fanfiction with ten or so fandoms running around with some cannon and non-cannon storylines. I liked falling asleep to my daydreams or staring at the wall while I daydreamed. I considered writing my daydreams down and turning them into a fanfiction for Ao3, but part of it feels personal. This is a world I have written and rewritten so many times since I was... 16, maybe? It’s easier to rewrite or follow through a storyline in my head than it is to write it down and focus on details that I never really focused on before. If your curious, my daydream fanfictions include the following fandoms: Teen Wolf, Scandal, Glee, Twilight, The Gentlemen, and Crazy Rich Asians. Occasionally, Beyonce’s Homecoming special and other things will make an appearance. I include most characters from these programs and create some OC’s in my head that have nothing to do with the other fandoms. Sometimes I’ll pluck someone from another place, like Carrie from Sex & The City but combine her with Isabel from Glee and mix up her storyline, or create a character with the appearance of a famous actor, like the original Mr. Fantastic actor.

I loved music. I could listen to music all day and enjoy myself. Sometimes it was the soundtrack to my imagination or I’d have some of my characters sing the songs I was listening to. I would listen to the same songs on repeat and create scenes with them and sometimes I’ll be able to add new music to the mix. If I wanted to listen to an album, I’d sit/lay down in my room and focus on nothing but the album. If there was an artist I liked and wanted to explore more of, I would go through their entire Spotify history and listen to every song at least once. I’d add it to my Liked Songs playlist because I am crap at creating playlists (minus the Boudoir playlist I made last year for my photoshoot, but that’s another story). Almost every song I have ever liked is on my Liked Songs. I think I have over a thousand songs on there, which is pretty decent. I kind of know where every song is located when it’s organized by Recently Added. Minus screamo, heavy metal, gangsta rap, underground music or electronic music, I listened to a little of everything. I loved Glee, Hamilton, Meg the Stalion, Kendrick Lamarr, the Civil Wars, early Taylor Swift, American Authors, Secondhand Serenade, G-Eazy, Mulatto, Into the Heights, Moana, Victorious, I could go on. Every song plays a part of my history and I love expanding it.

I can’t really do those things the same anymore and I wish I could. Writing fanfiction sounds like it could be a possibility for me because most of my life, I wanted to be a writer or be an editor. The fear of financial security made me switch to a business major and it didn’t make things any easier I find. I guess more approving nods from other adults about my choice in degree was a plus.

I can’t focus on my own daydreams anymore. It used to give me so much joy but it also reflected my emotions: horny, sad, in love, etc. The fact that I was able to create worlds that don’t exist to anyone but me made me happy. Sometimes when I wanted to be closer to God, I’d even deepen the relationship of some of my characters with God. 

Music doesn’t sound the same anymore. I can’t focus to the point of slipping into happiness often.

I did have a good day the day before yesterday. I decided that maybe listening to the song that always lifted my spirits in the past, whether they needed lifting or not, would help. My song is “Do You Believe in Magic” by Aly & AJ. I don’t know what it is about that song but when I first heard it on Disney Channel when I was little for the movie, Now You See It. Something about that song was and still is special. I was able to sing horribly to the song. I was watching Freaky Friday that day and remembered how much Ultimate by Lindsey Lohan rocked. I was able to listen to that song and daydream a totally new scenario for my mental fanfiction characters. There was so much happiness and positivity in the scene.

That same day, when night fell, I felt so sad I made myself sick and was gagging in the toilet. I convinced myself not to make myself throw up because I don’t want that to become a habit. I don’t want to mentally make myself sick and think that throwing up every time will fix me. I felt like shit for hours later, but I was glad that I didn’t throw up. I knew I was in a bad enough position that I needed company. 2/3 of my best friends and one of their boyfriends showed up at my place, late at night and stayed with me for hours. We’d talk about the issues that were plaguing my mind and about 2 of them moving into a new apartment together. 

I went back and forth from lying in the bathroom and lying in my bed. I don’t know why but whenever I was sick growing up, laying on the bathroom floor made me feel better. I know it is unsanitary and gross, but you get to a point that you don’t care. The bathroom has always felt safe for me. I still remember the first time I did it. My mom, brother, and I lived in an apartment about 20-30 minutes away from where we live now. I was getting ready for school one day and I guess I didn’t feel good. I laid down on the bathroom floor and that’s how my mom found me. She knew that this little 5 or 6 year old that never complained about school wasn’t faking anything. I think after that point, my mom became pretty trusting of me whenever I said I can’t go to school. Whether I was physically sick or needed a mental health day, she let it happen. I didn’t practice this often until I was junior high and high school, but it helped knowing my mom would let me take care of myself however I saw fit. I think she also didn’t want to have to keep taking off of work to pick me up from school.

The issues that brought me to tears were my boyfriend, the love of my life. I have only dated one boy before him. That was back in high school and I liked that I had a boyfriend more than I actually liked my boyfriend. We had been friends for years and were in speech and debate together. I asked him to my prom and, due to a misunderstanding, he never replied. When we realized the misunderstanding, he asked me to his prom (We went to two different schools) which was fun. It was at a country club, his parents had dinner catered to their house for us (very successful accountants) and we got some cute pictures from that night. I found myself bored with the relationship and knew ending it wouldn’t affect my quality of life within that moment. So I did. Now he is happily out as gay with his partner of 3 years and starting Harvard Law in the fall. I kind of like that fact and it made it easier to be friends with him on Facebook and Instagram again.

But back to my current boyfriend, the boy I didn’t think that I would fall for. To make our love story short (I’ll probably go into more in another post), we met on Tinder 2.5 years ago when the guy I was talking to/dating previously decided to go back to his toxic/abusive ex-girlfriend. I was talking to my soon-to-be boyfriend and another guy at the time and my boyfriend was the one that lasted. I remember that I would message every Tinder match with “Aye” because everyone wants the other person to start the conversation or else there won’t be a conversation. He responded with “I love your smile. It’s so positive” and that was my downward spiral. We’re pretty good at communication and we are a good match for each other. We both come from mostly different backgrounds, racially and socially. Sometimes there are things about me he’ll never understand, but making strong friends with people who weren’t racially the same as me kind of prepared me for that. 

Anyways, he wants to be a doctor of osteopathic medicine (still don’t know what that is) and go to med school for it a year after our undergrad. I don’t plan on starting grad school right now because I am not fully sure what I want to do with my career just yet. I’m not going to put myself in more debt or spend more time in school without a reason. Anyways, not many medical schools in our state offer the certification he’d need so he’s even looking at schools out of state. I have always wanted to go with him and support him through it while I start my career, but as that time draws closer, I find myself unsure of myself.

I need a lot of attention and am very sociable. I know when he goes to med school, he won’t be able to give me as much attention and he can’t really be faulted for that. It probably won’t get any easier once he does his residency and beyond. Despite being sociable, I have created a support network of my family and friends (we’ve been together for like 10 years). It’s to a point that I can socialize with other people with the idea that they are going to be acquaintances or somewhat distant friends. I usually know what kind of friend I want people to be before or during meeting them. But my dependency on my support network is so... strong that it kind of messed up a very big job opportunity for me a few years ago. I am afraid of having to make new connections again once we move away. Regardless if he choses a school in our state or not, we’d have to move. I don’t want him to be my only social connection, but am also afraid of making new ones. 

I made a list of all the things that scared me with possible solutions in which moving away with him was on it. I wrote that I would try to connect with coworkers (I can’t imagine and kind of don’t want to be best friends with a coworker. You never know when play ends and work begins) and neighbors. I don’t even talk to my neighbors now. I thought I could bake my famous browned butter salted chocolate chip cookies and share them with people, hoping that it would be the start of something. I’ve picked up random conversations with random people before so hopefully I can still do that (I stopped the whole “don’t talk to strangers” thing when I was like 19). 

These solutions made sense to me and I hoped that by writing it down, I could move on with my life. That wasn’t the case. I became so focused on would by current boyfriend be able to meet my needs in the future and whether I’d be strong enough to let him go if it was impossible. I found myself loving him more than I loved myself and make decisions on bettering myself for him. Covid Vaccine? For him. Finding a good job? For him. I don’t want to love someone else more than I love myself. I don’t want these decisions to be based on another person. I want to chose what is right for me for me and not someone else.  

I wasn’t this way before my boyfriend. I actually avoided being in a relationship for a few years because I didn’t think I’d enter one for the right reason. Usually, I put myself and my happiness first. When I decided I was ready to care for another person, my boyfriend wasn’t the first guy I chose. I didn’t know he’d become the love of my life. I didn’t know that we’d want the same exact thing from our relationship and have active, open communication about or wants and needs from the other person. I craved his attention, always wanted to be around him, and didn’t even stop talking about him our first year together. I am better now, but he still finds way into my conversations because he’s what makes me happy. 

I’m not upset that I love him. I wouldn’t take that back. I just wish that I was enough for myself again in which I could make decisions for me and stand by them. I want to create the life I want and I want him a part of it. But if that’s not God’s Plan, can I let go of him? In all honesty, I’d rather be miserable with him with occasional happiness than miserable without him. Maybe that’s too strong of a statement so don’t take that at full face value.

I want to be able to figure this out while we are still together, but mentally I keep thinking I have a time frame to “fix myself”. At the same time, I know I don’t because I know mental health doesn’t work that way. I have the ability to take the time I need to take care of myself again which I am grateful for. It’s like having an adult and child in my mind. The child is crying all of my fears and anxieties while the adult is trying to calm them down with reasoning. I am thankful that I am at least this aware of my mental state. I can understand when something is anxiety or depression, name it, and although I am stuck with it, I try not to fall too deep in it.  

I still have hope things will get better and I won’t always feel this way. Hope and faith is all I have some days and that’s okay. I am one day closer to being the me I want to be.

[cosmopoetica1]

Love Quotes for Him

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Love Quotes for Him

I Love you Quotes for Him

Some say that boys get turned on by what they hear, and it is definitely true. After all, it is not about the sex, it is all about love, and everybody who know this superb feeling to want not just to understand he is adored but also to listen to the hot words out of his significant other. But, occasionally even the very amazing quote “I love you” is not sufficient to express what you truly feel. In cases like this, profound and enthusiastic quotations are precisely what we need. Have a look at our collection and pick the deepest expression to inform him just how much you love husband or your boyfriend! I Love you Quotes for Him

I Love you Quotes for Him Gallery

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Sweet Love Quotes for Him

Sweet love quotes for him. It is deeper, it is larger, it is more amazing than anything we could put in to words, but nonetheless, there are a number of phrases which explain specific facets of love absolutely, and we have chosen the very best ones to you. If you’re searching this morning for something which will make your boyfriend or spouse grin, you need to have a look at these expressions. They could make him feel special, even though he knows just how much he intends to you. Sending your soulmate a message is a fantastic idea!

Once I was a child, I enjoyed drawing the skies, that is why I constantly ran from blue crayons quicker than others. You are my crayon, also that I can not get enough of you. No one deserves it. Your heart is my location. And I think because you’re my love. Always and tomorrow I’m there for you Now. Enjoy you in the depth of soul and my heart.

Each time that I inform you that I adore you, I really don’t do from habit like I’m utilized to saying that. Because I would like you to keep in mind that you’re my entire life, I do it. The sort of feelings I get when I look at you’re the feelings individuals write love books about. It was only when I met you that I discovered exactly what it was like to appear in somebody’s eyes and smile for no reason. Since I spend time considering you.

You’re the very first thing that I think about when I awaken in the afternoon and the previous one in my head before I fall asleep.

What’s love? It is typically associated by us with roses, candles, dinner and sweet words. The truth is that we could organize events that are amazing particularly thinking about the fact that your partner won’t be surprised by them if repeated. Love is half-alive with no love. The fantastic thing is that love could be casual. You do not need to attempt and impress your soulmate by coordinating something outstanding daily, simply send him a gorgeous quote which will remind him falling in love with him would be the best thing that’s ever occurred to you.

I can not imagine my life without you since it is those who make me full. You mean everything. It appears I might have loved you at a countless number of kinds, in all the probable times, in lifetimes after our own life and ages which could come after our era, forever and ever.

You are the one and I love more than life. That I can not allow you to go. And it is not because I don’t adore you. It is only that I wish to create my love story that is ideal !

The love I have for you does not know any bounds and it is so deep you can not locate its underside.

I did not intend to fall in love with you, but I am glad it happened, as you are the best thing that my entire life has ever understood.

Sweet Love Quotes for Him

It’s difficult to say that the words that would say whatever you are feeling looking into the man who means the world for your eyes. This isn’t merely passion or affection, that something which makes you realize that you are taking a look at somebody who makes your own life really meaningful, makes you feel joyful even if all else is a mess. This is but it does not mean we should not try. Have a look at these love phrases if you can not find the words to say what you feel inside and discuss them. If you talk from the center the authorship does not matter.

You’re everything I dream of night and will think about. If you kiss me or touch me, my heart beats quicker. You all to me, baby. Are you going to be with me? It is not the location, it is the person with that cause you to feel as though you are home, that you’re. When with you and I met, I found my property.

It isn’t important where you’re, since you’re always in my heart. You want me, just close your eyes and feel that my love that’s with you.

I caught myself thinking about you this afternoon and began wondering how long that the picture was on my thoughts. I then understood that you’ve not left my thoughts as the minute I saw one for the very first time.

Your existence makes it all better. Once I met you that the planet turned into a much better place to call home, and I become a better individual.

I used to conceal out of this planet in my own dreams.

After I saw you I thought you were perfect and I fell in love with you, but I noticed that you’d imperfections and that I fell in love with you more.

Love Quotes for husband

At the age of the world wide web, we’ve got a great deal of chances for communications, and that is absolutely excellent! We could tell our nearest ones we love them without any attempts, by simply sending a wonderful message or a picture. Do not miss your opportunity to remind boyfriend or your spouse that you don’t ever quit thinking of him, that is easy. Pick among those sweet love quotations and discuss it with your significant other on some of those social networks. Do that a gesture will be appreciated Love Quotes for husband:

When I had to pick the time I might be with you, I would need it to be forever. I really don’t care about what’s occurred because it doesn’t have anything to do with love ow will occur I have for you.

Once I saw you for the very first time, I was somewhat afraid to meet with you. When you and I met I was reluctant to kiss you. I was fearful as though I did, that you did not love me, when I kissed you for the first time. However, now I adore you more than anybody and you adore me, I’m scared to lose you.

My backyard would not know bounds if I had been given a flower for every time my thoughts were around you.

I understand that I’m not your very first date, or love or kiss… however I understand I can be your very last everything.

We were just two strangers that lived underneath the exact same blue heavens above and fulfilled accidentally. Soon this stranger, although Initially we enjoyed each other turned more powerful. And within my heart I believe that you’re somebody someone I have been waiting all my life to fall in love with.

Love Quotes for Him from the heart

Many people today state that connections are a job that is tricky, a few call them enjoyment. Ironically, but the right of everyone. The chance to be with a person that you love is enormous joy, but it does not indicate that we are able to forget about one another’s interests, customs, and other items that make us distinctive personalities. The connection means making a marriage, and esteem is, consequently, meant by that. One other important thing most of us must consider is that relationship can not exist without the flame which may be kept alive with the assistance of the wonderful deep words mentioned to each other.

We match each other so perfectly like two bits of one mystery. Affection implies you can not live without somebody’s strengths; adore means that you’re prepared to accept somebody’s defects. Love relies mostly on forgiveness. If you love, you’re prepared for an infinite act of bias, meaning that you simply give up the right to harm someone for the harm they attracted to you. How I love you can not be compared to rain which begins and goes off. How I adore you can be when compared with atmosphere that’s imperceptible and silent but never leaves you. Enjoy is a two-way road that’s always under reconstruction. Throughout your lifetime you will meet countless individuals who will not touch your heart in any way. But you meet with one individual who’ll change your life. One card does not mean a thing, although They’re distinct colors, they have various symbols.

Best Love Quotes for him

Sayings about love do not need to be super and lengthy complicated to be purposeful. If you do not wish to seem like William Shakespeare composing your morning message into a boyfriend, but nevertheless wish to show him that you think about your beloved prince, then utilize these brief but genuinely touching love quotations ! Best love quotes for him:

Everything I know for certain is that you’re my angel, not my boyfriend.

You’re my inexhaustible supply of pleasure, inspiration and motivation. Thank you for picking me!

I think that it’s all your fault I wake up each morning grinning.

Each and every single day of my life is intriguing since I’m in love with you.

The quantity of the sunshine does not have some impact on how bright my entire day is. It is your smile which makes my days glowing.

To appreciate you’ve never been an issue of a choice, your grin left me with no choices. To appreciate you’ve ever been the requirement.

I’m hopeful you understand how to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation as you take my breath away.

If there is anything I’ve ever done in my entire life, it was once I gave my heart for you.

A good deal of people tried to answer this particular question, and a number of them triumph, but we don’t have the definition which would explain it. It is still, although we call it different names, we use adjectives. It will not prevent us and that is beautiful. What could be more lovely than fans which don’t allow the brto break-heir marriage how deep their love is? Have a glimpse if you’re that type of couple!

You’re the reason I smile more frequently, shout a whole lot less, and sing just like a Disney princess with critters.

I ceased searching for a paradise since I’ve found it in you. I stopped waiting with you’ve come to be a great deal better than fantasies, to observe fantasies.

Thinking about you’ve become my favorite action.

When I needed to confront the decision between breathing and adoring you, along with my final breath I would tell you I adore you. I love you, it moves and simply.

I will say the phrase”love” was unknown for me I met you.

Love Quotes for Him from the heart

What is love? How do we distinguish fire, enthusiasm, sympathy and it? These quotations are what can clarify the gap. Love is something magical, something which makes you believe you may never be more happy. It is dedication and sacrifice, it has focus and support. The list of adjectives, nouns phrases and words describing it’s infinite, but you do not have to utilize this language, just choose among those funniest expressions, send to a husband or boyfriend and revel in his response!

Once we spend some time together, I do not even think of different things or people. All I need is to get additional time. You’re my one and just love that resides in my spirit and in my heart.

My life is not the same because I met you and I wish to be that woman who’d force you to say your life has shifted because you met me.

It is not due to something you have I adore you. Because of how that you make me feel as though I am close to you, I adore you.

Authentic love is worth waiting. You proved me That which I needed but was reluctant to do , I would like to do with you personally, because when I’m with you I’m fearless.That I know it sounds dumb but each time that I miss you, I look at our old discussions and they make me grin like an idiot. I hear the songs that remind me and I start missing you more.

Many people today believe love and cute quotes are for ladies, men don’t want them. It is not correct. Everybody would like to hear he is adored. In regards to love, never hesitate to express your emotions. Obviously, it does not indicate which you will need to send messages each and every moment when he’s about the company meeting, however a quote at the day or at the morning is a fantastic idea!

You’re my life source including all the pleasure and love you provide daily. I loved you I love you , and I’ll love you until the end of the time. My goddess, I adore with all my heart.

The minute you came in my life I understood that we’d be together until the final breath. You are loved by me! Wherever you go, since you’re my world, I would like to follow you.

I’m always thinking about you. I get up in the morning or visit babe through the nighttime, I think about you. I think of you I am in the office or return home. Since you’re my everything, You’re constantly in my mind. However, allow me to inform you that each time I’m with you of joy and pleasure. You say or do something which makes me fall in love with you over and over again, even over the day before.

For me personally, you’re perfect just the way you’re. I really don’t know.

Cute Love Quotes for him

People today say that we should not be reluctant since it is delight, not the crime, to express our love, but the simple truth is that the fear of rejection is too powerful. The way to fight with this? We have to all understand before trying that we can not attain any results. ‘No’ is painful, but you will never know if he isn’t likely to say ‘yes.’ The matter is to get the words to express your own emotions, and if it is not a simple job for you use these quotes that are amazing!

Once I look into your eyes, I find what I have always dreamed of.

Once I am with you, I really feel as I’m more than I actually am.

If you touch my hands, you put my heart on fire.

Love would be to feel that someone takes care of you personally. I would like you to know I adore you so I take good care of you.

Although I’m not your first love, I prepare yourself to be your final one.

Love is something which wakes up your spirit, which makes you try for longer, that puts fire in your heart, so which brings peace to your life. With you I’ve found love!

Love is the feeling that is most delightful. It promotes it makes your life meaningful, however it is lost by some people today? There are various types of love? Why can we consider somebody’s like being an actual feeling, while another love is called”bogus”? The matter is that some people today believe everything is going to be performed for them. The connection is a job that is challenging, but it can not exist without your focus. That reminding your significant other he means the world is significant. Do not allow things, the regimen, and people separate you . This gesture can make your relationship stronger, although Preventing the sweetest is simple.

I expect you are aware that which makes you smile daily is my top priority.

The minute I met you was the best thing that’s ever occurred to me I would not exchange it for anything in this entire world. You are my joy, my life, my all and I love you to back and the moon.

How can I know you love me? I know you will be present to reach back to my palms when I reach my hands out to yours.

In love there’s not any logic, queries or second thoughts. If you love, you question or do not believe that your love, you feel that individual. And I wish to say I adore you!

I can not and do not wish to imagine my life without you inside. You’re the reason I believe in love. You’re there to bring a grin whenever I feel angry. A day was not you could not make me grin. All I need is to devote the remainder of my life!

My entire world turned upside down the minute I saw you. Then there was nothing that I could view, but your attractiveness. There was but pure bliss by being about you that I felt.What’s love? It is the combination of two natures in this way that another is enriched by every character and makes it grow.

A man can’t live without it, or can not live without inspiration. Love is a feeling that provides it. Additionally, it requires some fuel! What motivates us? Each and every day we have a opportunity to inform our ones which they’re the very best and they are loved by us, but we forget about it. Do not allow the daily makeover forget on your soulmate. Some focus along with a love quotation that is encouraging is likely to create!

That comes the day when you locate a person whose thoughts take away your breath and you understand that breathing does not really matter how much.

When I understood you would live a hundred decades and no longer, I’d love to live for a hundred decades but without one day. In this manner I would not have to live without you.

Love is only a word before the moment you find somebody special who’d come along and provide the term authentic significance.

Among the main matters in life is to find love, to find out how to donate it to other people and to allow it to enter your life permanently.

Many people today think that if a individual actually misses somebody, the odds are, the object of the love feels the exact same way about these. I’m pretty certain it is not possible that you miss me just as much as I miss you.

The guy who I keep dreaming about every evening and the guy next to whom I need wake up every morning is that. You are!

To appreciate sometimes means nothing whatsoever. Being adored means something.

Once we fall in love we find ourselves to be rather different from that we were earlier.

Each time I’m right next to me personally, I feel like I’m the happiest man in the world.

Every other is your very best and only thing in life which we must continue to.

Orgasmic Love Pictures for Him

Technologies and social networks give us a great deal of opportunities that are cool to convey. Why don’t you use them love his presence and to inform your boyfriend that is beloved just how much you love him? All these pictures with captions are heartfelt sufficient to make him smile and remind him. Select the one that you think he will enjoy and ship it inside a messenger or on Facebook, Twitter. Such a gesture is likely to make his love more powerful and his disposition better!

[annebrontesrequiem]

hi there, I really love your blog, it gives me purpose in life✨✨✨✨ so I was wondering if you could write a scenario where mc lost a family member to suicide and is so depressed about it that she will full her time with (school or work or whatever you feel like) she is so exhausted and is barely talking to the rfa+v+saran. Like, how would they talk to her and comfert her? Thanks

Hey!!! I’m so happy you like my blog!! ♥-♥ And I hope that everything is going okay!! I send lots of hugs to you. I lost all my grandparents in two years so I understand if you’re going through something, and although it wasn’t suicide and I will not understand that I know that death can be terrifying and painful in a deep way. I give you all the love, and I hope you like this!! Ahh!!! I get so nervous so easily! So here goes!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

*Some spoilers for Saeyoung’s route and Saeran of course

Zen

He doesn’t understand it at first really

He hasn’t lost anyone before

Not like you and your sister

But when you begin locking yourself up in your room, only leaving for school, and not eating

You don’t reply to anything, and you hardly smile or show emotion anymore

You don’t cry anymore

He finally goes to your apartment

At first he was worried that you just needed space

But when he sees you he knows that you need someone to talk to

First thing he does is give you a huge bear hug

An by then all that you’ve fought to keep bottled up washes out

You begin to cry, and hyperventilate

He can hear you whispering: “I will be okay, I’m not going to die, I’m going to be okay.”

He just keeps hugging you, stroking your hair and whispering words in your ear

“You’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay, it’s okay”

Finally after about half an hour you tell him

Your sister hanged herself two weeks ago

She was one of your closest relatives and friends

He doesn’t say anything at first, but after a while he gets up

He carries you to the couch, and wraps tons of fuzzy blankets around you

Brings you a bit of chicken noodle

And when that causes you to cry harder he stays right there besides you

From then on he keeps up with you, makes sure you’re eating and staying safe

Understands you need space, but really cars about being there for you

Yoosung

He understands

He’s lost people before

People who deserve death, but it’s still loss

He doesn’t bring that up though

It takes him maybe four days tops before he seriously starts worrying

When you suddenly log off and refuse to talk to anyone, you don’t reply to his texts, and when you do once it’s to tell him to stop

He goes over to your apartment

And getting you to let him in takes time

He immediately notices you haven’t been eating

And when was the last time you went outside? Have you slept?

Freaks out, but when you tell him to leave he goes silent

“MC, please, just, tell me what I did.”

That’s what starts the tears

He immediately freaks out

Starts crying a bit himself tbh

When you tell him about your mother, one of your last relatives, he grows incredibly silent

Hugs you, kisses your forehead

Stops talking, you don’t need the noise

You tell him how you’re sick of the phone ringing with distant relatives, who never cared before

How they keep saying sorry!

How they don’t understand!

After you finally vent he goes over to your phone and turns it off, throwing it in a drawer

“MC.”

“Yes…”

You expect another stupid apology

“Let’s go to the park!”

And that’s exactly what you needed

You spend time at the park together

He makes your favorite pasta

And at night when you feel nightmares creeping up from behind all your emotions he’s there to give you plenty of hugs and kisses

And he doesn’t say that infernal sorry.

Jaehee

She was planning a nice dinner for you two at the end of the week

So when you went silent the Thursday a week before she was confused

Usually you were so happy all the time, a light in the darkness of repetition and stupid cat sittings

You log onto the messenger at insane hours

Five o’clock, seven, eleven

Are you sleeping?

You go to work everyday, she knows that much (got help from Seven for that)

But other than that no other activity

On the day of the dinner she finally works it up to break your solitude

Knocks quietly on the door.

“MC?”

Five minutes past

But slowly you open the door

“Jaehee?”

Jaehee smiles and asks; “May I come in?”

You let her in

And she looks around shocked

“MC, have you been eating?”

You stare at her

And it washes over you

You start sobbing

MOMHEE ACTIVATE

She rushes over and gives you a bunch of hugs and kisses on your cheeks

Which makes you cry harder, thinking about your aunt and how she was so close to you and how it’s so cruel

Jaehee is super worried, she’s not sure how to handle this

But first candy bar

You are eating

Asks you what else you need, and when you ask if she can stay over, because you just can’t sleep she obliges happily

Now whenever you have nightmares you know Jaehee will listen and tell you you’ll live

Because sometimes a reminder of living is just what you need

Jumin

He doesn’t work well with death of any sort

But when you leave the dinner table to get a call and come back crying he gets an idea of how cruel it can be

Your mother, your mother, who was doing so well

Why did she even have a gun, why didn’t anyone notice!

You excuse yourself and leave

He doesn’t see you for two weeks

You show up to work, and completely dive into it

You don’t eat or sleep

You don’t care about living anymore, not really, not when it’s going to be this painful

But sure enough eventually he shows up to your apartment

You try to get him to leave, try to forget him, but he keeps standing outside

Eventually it’s nine and he’s still waiting, so you slowly let him in

He’s surprised by the amount of disarray, the rotted oranges that you always said you were addicted to

He feels ad for not coming earlier

You tell him you ate a granola bar last night, you’ll be fine, you won’t end up like, like

And the tears fall down

He isn’t great at this, but he picks you up and carries you to the couch, where a small blanket is tossed on the ground

It’s your baby blanket

You tell him about the nightmares, about how you can’t eat, can’t think, it’s too painful

He kisses your cheeks softly

He gathers up the things most important to you, and you go to stay with him for a bit

Every morning he talks about the sun, and about how the night is kinda like death and rebirth

He tells you stories about Demeter, Persephone, and Hades, like he used to hear before he went to sleep

And he’s always there with Elizabeth, hugs, and soft words of comfort

The nightmares eventually fade

Saeyoung

You had just returned home

After being gone so long you were so grateful

You guys had spent the night talking and crying and just being happy that your back

But the next day you get horrible news

You had a twin sister, and after your disappearance she couldn’t take it

She began to take drugs, and the day before you managed to come home she overdosed

You’re devastated, and full of guilt

So just one day after you lock yourself in you apartment

No going anywhere

You begin writing, all over the place, notebooks, computer, stick notes along the wall, just to fill up the silence, to fill up the stillness

You dream of her, of her screaming it’s your fault, so you don’t sleep

Going to get food is too hard

You get pizza, Chinese, and some soup for take out

That’s really it

Saeyoung practically goes insane again

He sees you, but why aren’t you taking care of yourself? What did he do?

Terrified to lose you again

You his light in the crushing darkness of the ocean he was in

So he goes to your apartment

You tell him to go away but he convinces you to let him in

He scoops you up and begins crying

“Please don’t leave me!”

This causes you to cry as well

He’s shocked when he hears what happens

He offers to help you with everything

And sleeps with you every night to chase away the bad dreams

Keeps reminding you it’s not your fault, post it notes, messages, texts, even writes it on a piece of paper and frames it

You’re so grateful, and when you’re ready to see someone about it he goes with you

V

You guys are living together

So when you go suddenly (with promise to be back, you’re just busy) he gets worried

He’s been heartbroken before

He lasts two days

And in those two days you don’t contact him

Afraid you might be doing something he runs over

You feel bad for not telling him, but it’s so hard

The first half hour is hard

But eventually you open up, about your aunt, about how she fought so long, about how you’re so scared

He hugs you, and whispers things, about the universe, the stars, the stellar plane

And you fall asleep, listening to the beat of his heart, stories of Capricorn and Perseus in your head

It’s so peaceful, and you’re so happy when you wake up, and he’s still there

Saeran

He’s very nervous about things like this

He’s been through so much, and you’ve been with him the whole time

So when you lock yourself in your room for three weeks he freaks out

Full of guilt, grasping on staying where he is

He misses you, and although he tries to support himself, like you’ve been teaching him, it’s hard

And he wants to help you, like you have so many times

So he shows up at your apartment after an especially hard week

And you refuse to let him in

You don’t want to be like this, but you don’t want to change

You just can’t talk to anyone

But Saeran seems so upset, and you do feel bad for not telling him

So you let him in

He goes a bit insane

“MC! When was the last time you ate! When was the last time you slept!”

He keeps pestering you, and you just sort of break

You tell him about your sister, and how you can’t sleep or eat, the only thing you’ve been doing is counting things, just counting random things over and over again

The last time you talked to anyone was weeks

And you’ve barely slept

He cuddles you and listens, gives you tissues and strokes your hair

And when you calm down a bit he jumps into action

Gets his stash of ice cream

Disney movie in the player

You guys stay up watching and talking

Well mostly him talking, you’re quiet, focusing on the movie, trying to ignore the panic rising in you, and the hollow sadness

But eventually sleep overtakes you and you end up passed out on his shoulder

And he whispers softly

“Don’t blame yourself, you’ve done so much. You’re my everything, my sky, my earth, free like the sea, bright like the sun, playful like the wind. So please, please don’t blame yourself, and please hold on. I love you.”

The next day you schedule a doctor’s appointment

He figures it’s the least he can do to go with you so you don’t have to figure everything out alone

You’ll be different then he was

He promises that.

Okay, so how did that go? If you didn’t like it I’ll rewrite it, but I really hope you did. This is my first angsty type thing, even if it isn’t all that angsty, and I hope I captured what you wanted me to. All the love goes out to you and thank you so much for reading!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

Also sorry it’s so long…. I tried to shorten it a bit… Didn’t really work

[artificialqueens]

Radiance (Branjie) - wade

AN: What if Branjie grew up together and eventually lost touch and they meet again once they are both adults.

There are some slurs throughout the story so if you are sensitive to words that refer to homophobia please don’t read or be warned they exist in this story.

///////

I. Toes

Brock had always been a skinny, almost emaciated looking boy for as long as he can remember.

This fact is coming to bite him in the ass, because behind him are two much stronger boys who are quickly gaining on him.

The taunts are also coming closer because instead of faintly hearing their slurs they are now booming in his ears.

“When I catch you it’s over faggot!” is exclaimed as Brock scrambles to open up a free door in the abandoned motel on 154th street.

Once he finds one he quickly jumps inside while flicking the lock. The two boys who are just 5 seconds too late pound on the door and continue to hurl more insults towards him.

They eventually give up and go around the back of the hotel and start throwing rocks and other miscellaneous items at the window. The glass shards are getting into Brocks hair but he can’t make himself move away from the onslaught.

Eventually they get tired of his non reaction or that’s what he wants to think. He knows that they are waiting right at the cusp of his street, just biding the time until they can terrorize him again.

Time seems to finally stop going at warp speed. But the very second Brock finally relaxes his shoulders the door is being pounded like a bride on her wedding night.

The pounding gets louder and more insistent until the plywood that acted as a window for the rundown establishment is ripped from its makeshift hinges.

The bright sunlight makes Brock squint and through his clear green eyes he can see a man staring at him while confidently climbing into the window. Brock continues to stare up at the stranger who makes the room seem two times smaller.

“Hello little man, what are you doing in this little place?” the stranger says while rubbing his hands on his khaki shorts.

Brock still stares up at the man with a blank face. Mostly because he can’t deal with anything more than the impending dread that comes with making the trek back home.

Another is the fact that this man is a stranger and he is alone with him, at an abandoned motel, with no one around for at least a block.

Brock is pretty sure if he ran fast enough he could take this man. It would be a 0.1 percent chance that he could actually get away from this stranger but he liked to hope that he was stronger than he gave himself credit for.

Still receiving no response but a blank stare the man tries to lighten up the situation. He saw the lanky blond boy run for his life as he was talking to what he would like to call a colleague.

The taunts that could be heard from a mile away quickly filled him in on the situation. It would have been easy to brush it under the rug and continue on with his check ups but something in his gut told him to check on the boy being targeted.

“Listen kid, I’m going to get some food. You’re welcome to join me if you want. But can I use the front door or do I gotta go back the way I came?” the stranger says in another attempt to lighten the mood with no such luck as the blond boy still just stares at him.

The man opens the door letting in more sunlight. “Come on kid.”

/////////////////////////

The man watched as the blond kid ate the plate of hot food with reverence only acquired from not having any for quite some time.

The kid still hadn’t said a word to him or even made any eye contact.

“You gotta tell where you live kid. It was fine a few hours ago but I have to get you home.” is resolutely said as the man inches the plate away from Brocks hesitantly eager hands.

Brock’s face immediately drops to his lap. The food given to him by the man he had dubbed Disney was the first real meal he had, had that wasn’t provided by school or begrudgingly by his mom.

The fact that his mom was becoming more absent towards him and their life was concerning but there was nothing Brock could do. They only had each other and every summer he briefly had his cousin Kameron.

The man quickly notices the change in the kids attitude and posture so he quickly returns the plate of food back to him.

“I’m sorry. That’s my fault, I won’t do that again kid. I didn’t mean to upset you, please just eat your food” the man acquiesces because seeing this little blond boys eyes go from slightly content to stormy was something he didn’t want to experience again.

Along with the power balance of him providing something that is clearly wanted by the other while also having the power to take it away at anytime was something he didn’t enjoy.

Brock hesitantly takes the food again and starts to eat. This time he looks at the man more and he doubles down on the nickname he had unofficially given him in his head.

/////////////

The man pulled up into his driveway while looking at the boy who had basically become his shadow within the couple of hours they had pseudo ‘known’ each other.

“I know you’re not talking right now. But once Monét gets her hands on you, I know you’ll be talking a mile a minute.” is confidently thrown at Brock as the man rushes out the car and runs to the door.

A woman with dark braided hair in a wrap opens the door. She clearly has a concerned but kind face as she listens to Disney probably recount the circumstances of their meeting.

Brock can see through the corner of his eye that she is yelling at Disney as she makes her way towards the car. Before he can get caught looking he quickly looks towards his lap once again.

The woman makes no move to talk and neither does Brock as they both sit in the silence of an almost stifling hot powder blue Pontiac.

////////////

Brock found himself eating another hot meal less than a day apart. The fulfillment of having a full belly was putting him in an even bigger good mood.

The easy and almost familiar atmosphere in Disney and Monet’s home was something that Brock had never experienced not even in his own home.

The food here was even better and they still didn’t make him talk.

“You know usually when there’s a guest in our home they speak.” Monét slightly ribs on Brock to make him at least give her a glance in her general direction.

“He may not speak but he definitely makes up for it in eating”

The simple statement makes both Disney and Monét erupt into little giggles almost like they were two happy go lucky parents on some sitcom.

“That’s quite alright, you can speak to us once you’re ready baby.”

The encouragement and comfortable air made Brock even more trusting towards these two essential strangers.

“My names Brock” is whispered into the air. “But people call me Toes.”

Despite being hesitant and quiet as a mouse in a wall, both of the adults heard it loud and clear.

“Well alright then Toes, which is definitely a nickname I’ve heard before.” Disney says with a somewhat satisfied smile on his face.

“I’m going to call you by your given name, alright Brock?” Monét asks as a rhetorical question knowing that she may never get more than 3 words from the boy sitting across from her. “Where are you from?”

“Beechmont.” is once again whispered into the warm night air.

“Who do you live with? Your mom? Where do you live?”

At the questions about his home life Brock immediately goes back to his food without answering.

“Well do you want to go home?” Disney asks with a comical puzzled look on his expressive face.

Knowing what could possibly be waiting for him at home, Brock shakes his head and makes meaningful eye contact with both of the adults.

////////////////

Brock was guided into what he assumes is the guest bedroom. The minute his unknowingly exhausted adolescent body hits the softest bed he’s ever laid on, he falls asleep.

He wakes up and goes to school like usual. The bullies are still there bothering him. Jose is still cracking jokes with him and calling him Toes in front of everyone.

Despite Jose carrying most of their conversations Brock would say that he is his closest friend. He’s never felt threatened or judged for not being as ‘normal’ as everyone including him wanted to be.

Instead of having to gamble with his health by walking home, Brock is surprised to see Disney standing next to his car right outside of school.

Of course by using context clues Disney picks him up food and they basically spend the day together.

By the time night falls Brock reluctantly tells Disney where he lives and how to get there. They finally arrive in front of the slightly rundown door, that sits in the middle of a small apartment building, among a full row of apartments that are identical.

Brock bangs on the door as hard as he can because lately his mother has a harder time waking up and being as alert as she usually is.

After banging on the door for at least 3 minutes his mother opens the door with a worried face until she lays eyes on Brock.

She embraces him and instead of feeling relief and comfort with his mom he wants to go back and listen to Monét sing/talk to Disney as she prepares dinner for them.

After making sure that Brock was visibly unharmed his mother makes a more than wary glance at Disney with distrusting eyes. The man with his hands in his pockets, while rocking on his heels is contemplating slowly backing away front the situation but the kid is staring at him with those eyes.

“I found him in that abandoned motel, he was running from some other boys so I took him in. He wouldn’t tell me where he lived until today.”

Almost as if she didn’t hear what he said Brock’s mother ignores him and she starts to turn both of them away. Disney tried to hold up his hand for another failed fist bump.

Brock’s mother immediately turns him away and she slams the door in his face.

//////////////////

Brock didn’t look up from his position right in front of Disney’s door. Even after he heard the telltale sound of a rumbling engine and Disney’s heavy footfalls.

Disney has a feeling that after the door was closed behind the kid that he would find a way to see him again somehow.

But what he didn’t know was, how they ended up in an empty dance studio.

The kid or Brock was spinning around in awestruck circles as he took in the mirrored room.

There was a question in his eyes that was quickly answered as Disney nods his head, almost like he was given permission to let go.

Brock knew why Jose called him Toes, everyone knew that he loved to dance and prance around the neighborhood. For the past few years however, he had stopped and he resolutely avoided dance and anything associated with ‘fag’ behavior.

This was the first time he had ever been in an actual dance studio. There was even a ballet bar, there was no way that he would ever know the proper terminology or technique.

Even if there was no chance of him ever actively pursuing dance he was happy for the chance to just let loose.

So for the next hours, despite his reluctance and utter lack of skill Disney was coaxed into learning some dance moves from Brock.

Although the man would never admit it he did enjoy his time with the kid, within the first 15 minutes he saw the first smile grace Brock’s face.

From then on there was only mumbled curses and previously unheard giggles from both Brock and the man respectively.

As per usual with Brock’s life the fun times had to end at some point. Once they get to his door and his fist is primed to knock for an inordinate amount of time, Disney stops him with a tap on the shoulder.

When his eyes look over the man is reaching into his pocket and handing him a 100 dollar bill.

“Take this. You keep it and get what you want.”

Instead of questioning why he’s being given money Brock takes the money and puts it into his pocket. Then his hand raises once again and he starts pounding on the door.

After more than enough knocks his mother opens up with a scowl and a bruise the size of Texas on the left side of her face.

There is loud tv playing in the background of his home. Brock can hear his mother’s boyfriend mumbles, probably through a beer bottle or a cigarette.

Disney doesn’t even say anything as he walks away already knowing the unofficial routine and precedent that’s been set.

Brock walks through the door and he can see his mother gather up her, asshole boyfriend according to him, man like a bundle of heavy alcohol soaked sticks.

The door slams behind them and Brock was given no time to even greet her. The bruise is new but the boyfriend is quickly becoming a staple in his quickly tumultuous home.

/////////////////

Brock didn’t remember how Jose had convinced him to join the neighborhood game of soccer using a balled up piece of fabric.

But all he knew was that he didn’t want to be there. There was nothing he had in common with any of them with the exception of Jose. As everyone but him scrambled to kick the makeshift ball away from each other Brock stood still, as everyone jostled him around.

Eventually the ball was kicked towards him by one of the boys who chased him on the day he met Disney. As it’s kicked closer and closer Brock inches back.

The group moves along with them and thankfully Jose cuts in front of him and kicks the ball in the other direction.

Thankful for the reprieve Brock decides that he’s had enough of embarrassing himself in front of the boys who already clearly don’t like him. Of course with the exception of Jose.

While Brock is still absorbed in his head he doesn’t notice that Jose also abandoned the game once he noticed that Brock had stopped playing. Although he wasn’t really playing the game to begin with, there was a clear difference in his attitude.

Running to catch up because of his smaller legs, Jose slaps Brock on the shoulder as he finally stops him from walking any further.

Brock turns around hoping and praying that it’s Jose and not any other boy. Once he sees him alone the tension in his body and soul is immediately released.

For some reason whenever Jose is around him and joking there is an ease in his presence, despite all that is going on around Brock.

“You know you gotta stand up to them. Their gonna keep on treating you like a pussy if ya don’t.” Jose says in a matter of fact tone.

Brock knew that Jose’s words were true but there was no desire in him to prove his worth to the assholes in their grade.

As per usual instead of responding with words, Brock successfully puts the smaller boy into a loose chokehold. Using his height advantage Brock is able to slightly lift Jose up for a few seconds before his slightly weak muscles cause him to lose his grip.

Knowing that Jose is known for punching other boys until they can’t stand up he knows he has to at least hold his own. They circle each other and Jose makes the first move by hugging Brock’s middle and bringing him down to the damp earth.

The wrestling move that Jose executed shocks Brock but still feeling like if anything, he wants to prove that he isn’t a sissy. He scrambles on top of Jose and subdues him until they can’t keep their faces serious or their moves.

They start laughing and shoving each other because despite Jose’s slightly harsh words they were still closer to each other than any other in the neighborhood or the world.

The sun starting to set and the air getting more of a chill cause both Brock and Jose to stop staring up at the cloudless sky, and to race each other to the street where they break off and go to their homes.

Before they leave each other there is a promise to meet before school.

That promise is kept until they start high school. Everything changes in high school.

////////

[uncle-ak]

Uncle, Stop Touching Me!

“Uncle” is an African man with a prominent title that lacks inherent self-respect. “Uncles” are African men that prey on little girls instead of protecting them; they are African men that carry out acts of domestic violence; they are African men that disrespect women without a care. “Uncle”, is an African man that is driven by toxic masculinity; a man that thinks he is entitled to every woman's body. Unfortunately, our African Aunties remain dormant and refuse to speak up about these precarious situations and in turn, they fail to put an end to these toxic behaviors. Instead, the blame is thrusted upon the victims and our African Aunties vehemently defend these African “Uncles”.

Story Story, Story time!! Imagine you come to a Cameroonian wedding and you are dressed to the nines, face beat, hair laid, heels high, dress tight, and your spirit even higher. Then, one “Uncle” tells you to come to the side and says “hello beautiful” “You have grown” “How old are you?” “Are you 21 yet” as he proceeds to rub your shoulder and waist… “Uncle, Stop Touching Me!” All you can do is smile and nod and answer the questions respectfully. His entire reason for pulling you aside is a facade; him wanting you to describe the food items on the table is all a part of an elaborate ploy to put you in an uncomfortable position; a position in which you’re completely cornered and at his mercy. Being the respectful African female child that you are, you answer all his questions while he eats you up and down with his eyes. At this point, your hands are sweaty, you are looking around trying to make eye contact with anyone...anyone that can intervene. He then proceeds to ask you for your number, what to do? What to do? Give him the wrong number. He then says “I will call you” and you smile and nod and release a sigh of relief because you are happy that that extremely uncomfortable interaction is over. All through the night as you try and enjoy the event and dance to some Charlotte Dipanda, the “Uncle” continues to glare and he winks every chance you dare to catch his gaze. 

Story Story, Story time! Imagine pulling out your best country cloth, ironing it, shining your best freakum shoes, putting on your favorite sky illuminating highlighter; imagine looking bold and confident as you enter a Cameroonian country event to celebrate and push the culture forward. You’re enjoying yourself and taking in the festive spirit of the night. You’re eating and drinking when all of a sudden, you find yourself at a table sitting across an African “Uncle” and his wife. For the most part, the conversation revolves around politics and ways in which we can enrich our community in ground zero (your village in Cameroon). Then “Uncle” points out how beautiful and smart you are and instead of leaving it there, he continues to emphasize just how beautiful you are; “My dear, you’re just so beautiful, do you have a boyfriend?” “I know that there are plenty of men lined up for you” “I know your bride price must be high seeing as you are so beautiful and smart” “You know… I can come and pay your bride price” “A beautiful young lady like yourself should not be alone in this world” “Men like myself can really take care of ladies like you” “You would make me a very good wife”... how did the conversation get to this point? Why did “Uncle” think it was alright to harass you and why is his wife sitting there, meekly smiling at her husband’s inappropriate attempt to make you wife number two. How do you exit this conversation, God help! Aunty, why aren’t you intervening in this situation? From then on, things take a turn for the worst because, “Uncle” has now graduated from verbally harassing you and he has now grabbed your waist as he emphasizes his point about you being a potentially good wife number two. Aunty, do you see that your husband has his hands around my waist and he is squeezing me…? “Uncle, Stop Touching Me!” You smile and nod at whatever nonsense is coming out of “Uncles” mouth and pray to God that Aunty steps in but, she never does and the conversation continues. Just when you think things can’t get any more uncomfortable… “Uncle” decides to send you on your way with his proposition in mind of course. You thank your lucky stars and rush off as fast as you can because, after that sickening encounter, you need something to cleanse your spirit. 

Story Story, Story Time! Imagine that you’re ringing in the New Year at your uncle’s house, Cameroonian style. The drinks are flowing, everyone is looking vibrantly beautiful, the food is endless and the enjoyment is bottomless. You’re extremely thankful for the opportunity to ring in the New Year with the family, everyone is expressing their gratitude at being able to see another wonderful year. It is the life of the party and your best friend is at your right hand experiencing all the love and joy with you. The DJ is cutting up and playing all the old school, new school and in-between hits and you’re there taking it all in. Unbeknownst to you, one “Uncle” is at the side eyeing you and just waiting for the opportunity to come and harass you. The DJ drops “Karolina -- Awilo Logomba” and you and your best friend are immediately on your feet because it’s “Karolina” who is immune to Awilo Logomba’s charm? Both of you are there enjoying the song and leaving it all out there on the dance floor when all of a sudden, the “Uncle” that has been eyeing you sees an opportunity to make his move and he takes it. All of a sudden you’re being cornered and this towering figure now has his hands all over your body without your permission -- ah, ah; you try to move and your best friend clocks what is going on and she counteracts the “Uncle’s” moves by pulling you away but that doesn’t stop the “Uncle” because from there, he pulls you from your friend and continues to insist that you must dance with him: “Dance with me na” “Where do you think you’re going?” “Leave your friend, she can entertain herself, you’re dancing with me now” “You’re very beautiful, why is it that I haven’t seen you before?”. Not only does this “Uncle” have his hands all over you without your consent but he is also interrogating you, “Uncle, Stop Touching Me!” You can’t raise an alarm now because, if you were to tell someone that the man is harassing you, people will say “Weren’t you guys just dancing, abeg, leave man.” Some people will even ask what you did to incite that behavior from the “Uncle”. People will purposefully overlook the bad behavior that is being carried out right in front of their faces because after all, they’re just waiting for their own opportunity to assert their power just like that “Uncle”.

Story Story, Story Time!! Imagine you are a vibrant 8 year old child enjoying life, playing games, eating all you can, watching Disney Channel and your favorite television show is “Hey Arthur”. In essence, you’re just living life and caring less about the world. Now, your parents are immigrants and both work as night shift nurses and because of this inconvenience, you and your brother are forced to head downstairs to your uncle’s apartment on the 8th floor and spend the night until your parents return. You are excited because this is one of your favorite Uncles, he buys you things and gives you money, and he is cool about anything and always says “Yes” to you. Which 8 year old doesn’t want to be showered with Candy, Ice-Cream, and toys? You enjoyed sleeping in Uncle’s apartment next to your brother on his couch that serves as a makeshift bed. One night as you get ready to fall asleep Uncle decides to sleep on the floor next to the bed-couch, you ask why and he says “To best watch over you all.” You find it strange that he would leave a whole room with a comfy bed and insist on sleeping on the floor. As the days go by, “Uncle” continues to sleep on the floor and you realize that each night “Uncle” begins to touch you. It starts with a butt rub, then it’s your boobs and then he touches you inside your pants. You’re conscious but you don’t want to move, you’re frozen and unsure of how to act. At times you will shift to move the hand away but, it will still find its way to your private parts. You are scared, you are sweating, you want to cry, you want to scream, your heart is pounding, your body shuts down and you go into protective mode “Uncle Stop Touching Me!” This goes on for two years, until you’re 10 years old, then your parent’s work schedule changes. Unfortunately, this change of schedule does not stop “Uncle” from touching you. “Uncle” continues to come up to your apartment on the twelve floor and ask “Are you parents home?” When you say no, he proceeds to sit on the other side of the living room.; after a moment, he comes up to you and says “Just a minute” and rubs on your butt/boobs as you crunch in a fetal position eyes shut close, counting down the minutes, wishing for it to go away. “Uncle Stop Touching Me!” after he is done, he hands you ten dollars and says “Here this is for you” and he is on his way. There is always some sort of compensation for his actions. This abuse happens on and off until you are 14 years old, a freshman in high school, starting a new life. At this age “Uncle” has finally stopped touching you. He leaves you with anger, hatred, guilt, shame, and the feeling of being alone and unwanted by the rest of the world. His actions made you feel isolated. The only way to combat this isolation is to bury yourself in reading. The thought of telling your African parents scares you, it scares you to the core. Would they believe you, what would they say? This is taboo, this is all your fault.  Seven years of “Uncle” touching you and in turn -- 18 years of silence. Eighteen-years of silence, only one person in your life knows. Eighteen years of suppressing all that has happened to you because it's better to suppress it than to deal with the scars that “Uncle” has thrusted on you. Eighteen years of having dreams and night-mares, sometimes unable to move on because of “Uncle.” Eighteen years of him being in your life and being an instrumental part of your family, respected by others, coming to all your graduations, elementary, high school, and even college. Eighteen years of suppression.  How do you heal? Have you healed? Eighteen years later. Ready to tell, hoping to finally be free.

Unfortunately, in a culture that coddles men and enables them to continue carrying out these bad behaviors, it makes it next to impossible for young girls and women to speak up and share their experiences at the hands of these African “Uncles”. We need to create an environment and safe space for young girls and women to come forth and share their experiences rather than forcing young girls/women to internalize their trauma without any hopes of finding healing.

These stories and so many other stories highlight a toxic pattern of behavior within the African culture. African girls/women are expected to submit to these “Uncles” and respect them when they do not respect our bodies and our autonomy over our bodies. 

In honor of October being “Domestic Violence” month highlighting violence against women, we are letting the world know that just because we have a vagina we should NOT be treated as properties or inanimate objects. Comment below #UncleStopTouchingMe! Story, or join us on twitter by using the hash-tag #UncleStopTouchingMe! So many of our African sisters have suffered in silence and it’s time to shed some light on this issue.