#it's not like everything is just magically better now

[dollishmehrayan]

# BATBOYS WITH A SUNSHINE!READER ── .✦ ( basically batboys with a optimistic reader )

a/n: this was requested by anon (here) but anywayss i think I’m gonna do the world tour thing after my winter inspired fics/hcs end on like February 28th! (Dw i’ll still do the world tour thingy in between) but yahh also I desperately need writer mutals + mutals I mssg daily like I’m a very kind person idm if you dm me at like 4 AM, tags: (batboys x fem!reader)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

Absolutely smitten. Your optimism is like a magnet for Dick, who thrives on positivity.

He calls you his “little ray of sunshine” (even if you roll your eyes at the nickname).

If he���s feeling down, your relentless optimism is a game changer. “How do you do that? How do you make the world seem so… bright all the time?”

Constantly teases you, especially if you’re being overly cheerful during random moments. “Are you seriously smiling right now? We’re getting ready to head to bed!”

But secretly, he loves it. Your energy balances his occasional doubts && insecurities. (he lovesss positive people who live in their own world)

Dick starts picking up on your habits leaving little notes of encouragement, giving random compliments to strangers and realizes how much better it makes his day.

JASON TODD ── .✦

At first, he’s skeptical. He’s not used to someone so genuinely cheerful, and he might think you’re putting on an act.

“How are you this happy all the time? What’s your secret? Coffee? Dark magic?”, “I just like seeing the world differently, I’m a poet in my mind.”

But over time, he warms up to your positivity and even craves it (to a point he gets sad if you aren’t around for more than 4 hours). You’re the light that cuts through his darker moments and more sulking personality.

“I don’t know how you do it, but you make me feel like the world’s not completely screwed.”, “what did you say?-“, “Nothing go back to sleep.”

He pretends to be annoyed when you try to cheer him up after a rough day, but he secretly loves when you coax a laugh out of him.

Jason starts jokingly calling you his “emotional support sunshine.” He’ll tell Roy, “Yeah, they’re like my personal antidepressant.”

Will protect your positivity at all costs. If anyone tries to dim your light, they’ll have to deal with him.

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

Finds your optimism so refreshing. Tim can be a little too caught up in stress and overthinking, so your energy is like a breath of fresh air.

He’s constantly asking, “How are you so happy all the time? Teach me your ways.”

If you leave him little notes of encouragement, he’ll treasure them forever. He has a drawer full of them and pulls one out whenever he’s having a bad day.

Sometimes, your cheerfulness makes him feel a little guilty. “You’re so good, and here I am being a grump.” But you always remind him it’s okay to have bad days.

Tim loves how you bring optimism even to his most chaotic moments. “Yeah, sure, we’re being late, but hey, at least it’s not raining, right?”

He’d be a little overwhelmed by your energy at times, but he admires you deeply for seeing the good in everything.

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Damian does not know what to do with you at first. Your cheerfulness is a complete mystery to him.

“Why are you smiling? We are surrounded by incompetence.”

He pretends to be annoyed, but deep down, he finds your positivity oddly comforting.

Over time, he starts looking forward to your optimistic take on things. “Yes, fine, maybe there is a silver lining. Stop gloating.”

You have a knack for breaking through his tough exterior. If he’s grumpy, you’ll say something so genuinely kind that he can’t help but soften.

Damian secretly loves how you see the good in him, even when he doesn’t see it himself.

He starts to mimic your habits, like giving Alfred small compliments or trying to look on the bright side, but he’ll deny it if you call him out.

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

Bruce admires your positivity but doesn’t always understand it. “How do you manage to stay so cheerful in Gotham of all places?”

At first, he worries your optimism will make you naive, but he quickly realizes it’s your strength.

Your energy is a stark contrast to his brooding nature, and he starts leaning on it more than he cares to admit.

When he’s stuck in his head or doubting himself, you always know what to say to pull him out of it.

“You make it sound so simple,” he says after you give him one of your pep talks. But he smiles because somehow, you do make it simple.

You bring a sense of warmth and nostalgia into the Wayne Manor. Bruce finds himself more relaxed when you’re around, even in the middle of chaos.

He’ll never admit it to the others, but your optimism is one of his favorite things about you.

[xyfanficarchive]

headcanons: calling up your mouthwashing bf to come over when you’re sick <3

because i’m sick.

ft. curly, jimmy, and daisuke

its my first time writing daisuke… idk brother but i had ideas for him so

Curly:

-this sweet, loving man is on the scene to come to your aid asap. like it’s his destiny to be your sicknurse. he loves being there to care for you

-he shows up with everything: warm blankets, hes got cold and flu medicine, he brought your favourite sweater of his for you to wear, little snacks, a thermometer to take your temperature

-if you’re lucky, he asked his mum to make soup, and he brought a serving or two. the man can’t really cook. he had a lovely mother who fed him and then spent way too much time in space eating prepackaged meals and slop assembled from gelatin water and sweetener.

-but her soup is not something you can just whip up really fast; so if not, he’ll try cooking anyways - an easy recipe. pre made broth cartons and all that. might even go for the pre packaged dry soup sachets. he’s aware of his culinary shortcomings. but it’s made with the utmost love.

-he does make a great cup of tea. nice, warm, and sweet to soothe your sore throat.

-he’s typically a well dressed man but he shows up in comfy clothes. he’s ready to lock down and cuddle with you for as long as you need, on the bed, or on the couch watching a movie, something lighthearted and low stakes. he’s a furnace, theres no better man to lie with when you’re shivering from the fever and cant get warm.

-he’ll gently massage your achey body, the man has magic hands, you feel so much better.

-when the fever breaks and you’re sweaty and flushed he’s there to help strip you out of the thick layers and dab cool water on your face and neck and chest

-he knows he’s gonna get sick. but he doesn’t mind that much, its all worth it to be there and to show you how much he cares <3

Jimmy:

-not gonna lie, his first thought is “what the fuck, i don’t wanna get sick, i can’t afford that shit.” he almost doesn’t want to come. cause when he gets sick, he always has to weather the sickness all alone.

-he doesn’t eat that well on earth. so maybe he’s a lil malnourished, his immune system isn’t the strongest. when he gets sick he’s fucking down for the count.

-but he zips it up, and thinking for a second more he realizes that he was the first one you called for help and comfort and he just. pauses and pinches the bridge of his nose, sighs. “…just hang on, I’ll be right there.” he does care about you, when it comes down to it.

-and imagine your surprise when you amble weakly to the door and he’s there, with a bottle of nyquil and, a bag of vegetables, some pasta, and is that a whole uncooked chicken?! he dug deep into his coffers to get ingredients to make you real chicken soup. if that doesnt show you how much jimmy loves you idk what will.

-he’s no 5 star chef, but he can cook pretty well. he can follow a recipe no problem. there were a lot of “fend for yourself” nights growing up. sometimes he’d even save his own money as a kid to buy ingredients to make a real proper meal.

-(and also slaving away over the stove for hours gives him an excuse to keep his distance as much as possible, man does not want to get infected.)

-he’s still gonna sit with you, let you lay your head on his lap while he waits for the soup to all simmer together. stroking your hair while you’re under a pile of blankets, both watching nothing tv just to pass the time and fill the silence. you can kinda smell the soup, what you can smell is rich and delicious

-you both eat his incredible hearty nourishing soothing soup and cuddle on the couch when you start getting cold. and when he starts thinking it’s time to leave he realizes you fell asleep on his chest. fuck, i guess he’s stuck now.

-he really, really hopes you’ll return the favour in a week’s time when he’s sick as a dog. (you better go nurse that man and make him feel so cared for)

Daisuke:

-the man is thrilled. hes like AWWW YEAH DAISUKE TO THE RESCUE COMING TO NURSE MY BOO BACK TO HEALTH. he’s so happy you asked him for help. he’s determined to make you feel better.

-he really does the absolute most. he pulls up with like, several different kinds of medicine, he’s got games and movies to pass the time, he’s got so many snacks and junk food. he was at the store thinking, what food always makes me feel better? and filled his cart. there was a get well soon balloon at the checkout line so you know he bought it last second.

-he’s a little. much. he’s just enthusiastic about making you feel better. he’s going through the whole laundry list of everything he brought while your sluggish sick brain is in circles trying to keep up. and not gonna lie, you’re a little too fatigued to play video games.

-so you’re lying there next to him under the blankets watching him play video games and munching on like. chips and candy and stuff. coughing and dripping from your nose. kinda drifting in and out of sleep. he’s doing his very best to keep it down. but just being near him is so comforting.

-eventually. the junk food just is not cutting it. and your mouth kinda hurts from the hard salty snacks and your tongue is coated from the candy. “daisuke, baby… did you bring any real food?” and you sound all weak and hoarse and youre aching all over. he’s like. OH, shit. yah i guess chips arent the most nourishing food for when youre sick huh…. he sits there thinking for a moment and then the lightbulb goes off

-“hold on babe, i know just the thing, i’ll be right back!!” and he rushes out. on the way to the grocery store again he’s calling up his mom like MAMA how do you make that soup you gave me when i was sick as a kid???

-he comes back and whips up estrellita soup in no time, because its just like, chicken broth and some salt and little star pasta. and he looks so damn pleased handing you the bowl. how the fuck can you feel bad when he’s smiling like that over this bowl of tiny little stars.

-he’s so happy watching you eat his childhood sick soup. he spends the night, all he wants is to make you feel better, he doesnt even think once about getting sick himself.

[tiamathh]

Walk Walk Fashion Baby

Hi girlies new year new style ykwim anyway this is a pac that i have been wanting to make for a long time but i was like idk how many ppl will like it etc but now idc about all that i want to have fun so here it is!! Have fun and stay hydrated. muah <33 also my paid readings are open there are a few slots (15) if anyone's interested xx ciao <3 like and rb if you like xx

Masterlist / Paid Readings + FB / Tip jar

Pile 1

Hi pile 1! You need to try that classical, timeless, style, i know it can be annoying to look at all the beige and muted tones but its so much more than that like, picture this, a tailored blazer or high-waisted trousers that fit like a dream. tbh I am also getting pearls for some reason so maybe adding neckklaces as accessories can be something you are interested in to incorporate in your style next year. Start with a simple white shirt, a fitted black dress, or a pair of cut jeans. Then you can accesorise with delicate gold bracelet, a black bag, or a string of pearls again with the pearls they are calling for you right nowww.

Moreover, another style you can incorporate is just as sharp, and elegant so like the whole academia aesthetic, regardless of light or dark that doesn’t matter but what I am trying to say is, clothes with shape. Like cinched wastes and just clothes that create shape for you are like something you really should give thought to. It’s about being comfortable but also looking effortlesss while doing it all, I think basics like camis, just plain shirts/tshirts are something you need more of in your closet because theres so many ways to style them other than just for formal wear. Like one style inspo is literally Proncess Diana cannot get more elgant than her istg, enjoy muah <33

Pile 2

Y’all this is my pile you guys are my PEOPLE ok to begin with you need to stop being afraid of colour and looseness like not everything has to be tight and fitted especially just because the microtrend world says so. Experiment with “loud” colours and different textures, things you may have thought are “odd” and don’t look good, because trust me the way it can all be pulled together is crazy and so much fun!! Layer, the most important part, stack rings and bracelets and go for those colours that lowkey hurt your eyes because fashion is about colour and pattern and texture and taking all of it out of fashion just makes it dull imo.

Start with a bright coloured tshirt, maybe something like yellow, then layer on, very “indie kid” aesthetic like the high saturation stuff. Mixed with that I am also getting maximalism to the MAX layer layer layer, stack stack stack you should look like a walking apparell store (kidding) seriously though if you have been feeling like you want to experiment with something like this and oxidised jewellery and mixing different styles mainly because all of your wardrobe is mismatched (me) then go for it because I promise it will come out looking way better than you may have imagined. 

Pile 3: 

Ooo I love this, okay so very romanticised, very coquette but not really, this is also the pile which will look so good in pastels in lighter colours. All I am getting in my head are those pictures of people on picnics in their flowy outfits and dresses looking so pretty and at peace, bows and dellicate bangles, just a very dainty aesthetic im thinking light fabrics and romantic fashion like lace-trimmed dresses, pastel skirts and floral prints, very fairytaile-ish. Ruffles or embroidery too and just magical overall. Also the complete opposite of pile 2 here, minimalist aesthetic may suit you a lot so try it out next year!

I am talking about keeping it simple, not too much with the accessorising and maybe a staple or statement accessory piece that goes with everything and anything you wear. Also for some of you with this simplistic style, you may have to be pushed to try on something more glam too like a bold red lip when it comes to makeup, like be bolder with your makeup experiment with more purples, pinks and reds while keeping the outfits simpler. 

All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!

[bunnybuunn]

Safe & Secure.

Summary: Mama!Agatha comforts little!reader, when she got hurt on one of the trials.

Warnings: Age regression, angst, mentions of injuries, fluffy ending.

Deep down, Agatha knew that it’s not her fault that you got hurt on one of the trials. After all, The Witches road was unpredictable and very much dangerous. She knew that you were aware of that before entering it. But she also understood that you joined the coven only because of her, so practically she was still responsible for you being here right now. 

Agatha watched you lying on the ground unconscious with the tears rolling down her face. She wanted to hug you and hold you as tight as she could if that would mean you being safe, but right now she had to let Jennifer finish her work. Agatha’s heart rate slowed down when she saw wounds slowly vanishing from your body. It meant that you’ll be alright, at least physically.

When Jennifer was done healing you, Agatha sat down right next to you on the ground, waiting for everybody else to leave. It was hard for Agatha to show her vulnerability and humanity in front of everyone, but remaining unbothered when you were lying on the cold ground was even harder. 

When she made sure that everybody had left, the witch moved closer to you and gently moved your head from the ground onto her lap, slowly grabbing your whole body into her warm embrace. 

You looked so innocent under the moonlight; it almost made Agatha’s heart twitch from the sharp pain.

She should’ve protected you better.

She should’ve known better before letting you join her. 

 

„I’m sorry.”

 

The woman whispered, holding back tears. She gently caressed your cheek, almost gasping when you slowly opened your eyes. Agatha was relieved but also caught off guard because of your unexpected awakening. Your gaze was still unfocused and blurry, but it was obvious that you were awake. The whole situation was starting to get a little bit awkward. It was a rare occasion of Agatha being this gentle with you, but right now she couldn’t care less. 

You were alive, and it was all that really mattered. 

 

„It’s okay, Mama.”

 

You whispered an answer, covering her hand with yours and holding it tightly, reassuring her that everything is indeed okay. Agatha nodded, even though there was still a lot of guilt and regret within her. She helped you sit up, placing you comfortably on her lap while you put your head on her shoulder, cuddling up closer to her. 

It was cold, but mostly you just needed your mama after everything that had happened. 

Agatha wasn’t surprised that you were regressed right now. After all those traumas and injuries, you probably wanted nothing but to be comforted and held in her arms like a baby. 

Agatha chuckled at your moves, clearly enjoying you wanting her company that much, but still poking your side just to tease you and to make the whole situation less stressful.

 

„Clingy, I see?”

 

You giggled, now hiding your face in her neck. It was relaxing for you to know that even after the worst possible moments of your life, you’ll still have her by your side, comforting you just like you needed her to. You gave a woman a small kiss on the cheek before noticing strings from tears on it. 

She was crying because of you. 

Agatha was crying for you. 

 

„Mama, it’s okay. I won’ leave you.” 

 

It took her a moment before she could finally look at you. The soft smile came up on her face before it turned into the sly grin. Agatha tugged you even closer, making sure that you wouldn’t magically disappear if she let go of you for a quick moment. 

 

„I know. Because no matter where you would go, I will find you, baby.” 

 

You rested your body against hers, now looking up at the sky and finally feeling safe. There was no other place like her arms. Nothing would make you feel as safe and secure as your Mama’s presence. 

Taglist: @tinylilacbun @aew-regression-cove @hikyiwid

[bruhstation]

hello tumbled er

greetings and salutation. it is I, senja heterocaine, speaking to you through your favorite home screens. now you might be wondering: where on earth has senja heterocaine disappeared to these past 5 months? well the answer is as simple as it gets

I focused on my studies.

well yes that is the main reason. but that's like the nerd "obvious" answer. there’s other reasons too. some of which includes me getting into new interests, revisiting my old, hibernating interests, getting involved in university organizations and events, getting more involved in big family stuff since I'm the oldest and the only of-age grandchild of grandma from mom's side.... lots of stuff

so I just finished the third semester of premed school right. honestly speaking, with how I was losing motivation on drawing, the art block post-art fight, and lack of time, I decided to well, take a break. and it’s pretty convenient too since it was early on in the third semester. during the entirety of it I was feeling pretty proud of myself like "oh I've been studying a lot. I've taken a break from drawing and blog stuff. surely things will get better" and it did! not immensely but it's significant enough that for once I don't feel an indescribable sense of terror after the semester ends. the focus of this semester was about reproduction systems and growth and development which is pretty fun? we get to use models and medical phantoms hands-on and poke them with needles and other rube goldberg contraptions. I did miss breeding bacterias in petri dishes and seeing my friends burn the microbiology lab’s ceiling like last semester though. my grades are also improving… slowly but surely

(aftermath not pictured: me lounging on the couch scrolling through quora to see if there are people currently in college wanting to drop out)

maybe I was aiming too high. at least my grades are better than the previous two semesters and my social life is much better than it was back in high school. speaking of exams -- I went through my first osce exam around a week ago (practical exam to see if you can actually perform the skills labs lessons from the entire semester like you're a real physician). it was the most terrifying day of the month. my dentist said I have a big tongue and that’s why I can’t speak properly if I’m being too fast. ntm I WAS NERVOUS!!! MY FIRST OSCE!!! with how I memorized everything I needed, I was pretty confident that I'd pass, though. I didn't and retook the exam the next day. the prelude was the worst crash out ever

ah ptooey. I'll just take it like a champ. my tutor who's 3 years older than me and currently in the anesthetic rotation of co-ass told me that things will get easier but that's very subjective. he's a medical olympiad student after all. my parents are pretty happy though with how my academic life is becoming better so that's that

LETS MOVE ON TO SOMETHING LIGHTER. section B: what I've been getting into ever since bruhstation was put on cryostasis

you know Transformers One (2024)? the transformers movie directed by josh cooley? based on the Transformers(tm) franchise by Takara Tomy and Hasbro? most tragic break up movie of the decade? I watched it twice, squealed once, and left me broken and inconsolable for weeks on end. it made me revisit my dormant transformers interest after 5 years. I've reread the idw comics (mtmte, LL, taao, main transformers comic), and is currently checking out more (reading the wreckers saga right now). god it made me miss rodimus and friends' zany space opera adventures. I've always envisioned casa tidmouth to have the same tone as mtmte... the oftentimes dark humor, fridge horror stuff, weird magic/science, the roller coaster of emotions, confronting the past... its crazy good.

stories where misfits and knuckleheads band together in a confined space while having crazy doctor who-like adventures am I right. like I want casa tidmouth to be like that. remind me to thank 14 year old me for this trip down memory lane. and as usual, I tend to make self-indulgent crossovers of any interest I'm thinking about at the moment with casa tidmouth

a terrifying sneak peak on what's to come.

I've been working on my oc projects too. you may have seen some of them on artfight (graciela, saudade, altair, etc) but I've been focusing the most on graciela and saudade's universe, children's heterotopia. it has the largest amount of characters in any story I've created (not counting casa tidmouth), the most effort put into planning the stories and weaving in its themes about capitalism, patriarchy, period-typical bigotry, etc. there's human experimentation and they're given powers that range from punching super hard to time and space displacement. I also inserted whatever I wanted into the story. sure, yes, there's a lesbians-only organization of which its members are named off the knights of the round table, theres a mafia that focuses more on the family drama and attempted parricide from all angles, and tragic assassin maids of which their names are wuthering heights references. also if you've been following my main tumblr hajimedics for a while, you might've seen my three fairly oddparents ocs. well I've given them the tezuka star system treatment and inserted them into children's heterotopia as well.

I've also gotten into UTAU production! I've made a number of UTAU covers but haven't uploaded them to youtube. only shared them around with my friends on priv twitter. a good friend of mine assisted in the creation of my own UTAU voicebank! their name is TORKA (like "torque"), their voice bank has a slight accent when singing in japanese (because I'm their voice lol) and CV-only, their in-universe lore is that they're an intergalactic train conductor picking up wayfarers and outcasts trying to find a place in the vast universe, and I love them dearly

moving on! this is a thomas the engine and company blog THIS IS A LIFE UPDATE POST

I'd rather not discuss about how I'm doing mentally in deep detail BUT what I'll say is that I can't confidently say "I'm doing better" or "I'm doing worse" because it always depends on the days. things are okay-ish nowadays. some days are scary. some days are boring. I still experience delusions, (ironically) worried about my anhedonia, and believe that certain bouts of confidence will trigger a jinx, but I think I've been controlling myself well? at least? I keep internalizing the belief that I'm an adult. 20 years old. I have to act accordingly and my life in real life is ten times more important than the internet. things are going to change more and more once I graduate premed and began the co-ass program. I have to think 10 steps into the future. building successful connections before you turn 30. sigma grindset and all that. sorry that was my father using my body as a spirit medium

AND ALSO. ALSO. BACK TO THE BLOG DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME I PROMISED TO MAKE A COMIC BASED ON THE RESULTS OF THE 1000 FOLLOWERS POLL AND NEVER DID UNTIL NOW. I'm terribly sorry. I promise I will get into it I SWEAR procrastination is kicking my ass. I have to plan the dialogue and script and stuff AND DRAW BUT

BUT HERE’S THE FUNNY THING

THE BLOG REACHED 2000+ FOLLOWERS A FEW MONTHS AGO

NOW WHAT DO I DO TO CELEBRATE?

I don’t know honestly. I haven’t done the 1000+ followers celebratory comic, and NOW I HAVE 2000+ FOLLOWERS. THERES 2000+ OF YOU NOW!!!!! THAT’S CRAZY (IN A GOOD WAY)!!!! I thank you all for sticking with bruhstation through thick and thin for around 2 and a half years. I’m glad for all your support, fanarts, asks, and such truly. like wow. 2k. in such a short time too! thanks guys. admittedly, I feel kind of guilty to leave everyone hanging for months with nothing to give, especially with such a high follower number. and realistically? I don’t think I’ll be able to draw as much as I used to. like I’ve said earlier, I’ve been busy with my personal life and oc projects. it’s not like I’m abandoning this blog any time soon? I’m just speaking from a logical perspective, given my status as a student and (possibly, hopefully) future doctor too. I don't want to burn myself out posting like thrice a week, answering asks daily, I want to take things slow. at my own pace. maybe I'll focus on designing side characters as well and thinking about their roles in the story! but that's for another day. I’m just glad everyone’s still sticking around and enjoying my silly stuff

I do want to draw more for this blog! I want to put thomas and co. in more situations. make them dance for all our entertainments. but when you’re an adult, you realize that you have your own priorities. you can’t always do the things you wanna do. you can’t just drop something you don’t like out of the blue. sometimes you have to sigh, scratch the back of your neck, and brave it while saying “I sure am getting old”

oh and also I'm a butch lesbian now. still he/they (heavy preference on he/him), still preferring masculine terms like "mr", "sir", "guy", still as crazy as ever. still aroace too and not interested in dating, something that's been a constant in my identity ever since I'm in early high school. little have changed I can assure you this. I am still senja. senja heterocaine from the net.

and thus concludes senja’s life update post! what will the next post after this be about? something gordon-centric again? serious colored art? old men yaoi? silent hill UK localization? place your bets. everyone loves a good laugh

[flowery-moth-angel]

Oh boy I got answers.

1: Reconnecting with Yahweh. I grew up christian and became very traumatized and felt abandoned. I suffered a lot and religion played a part too. I rejected God fairly early on. Because on of the energies I felt was distant and uncaring, that I had to just trust him for no reason. But over time, listening to other religions and people that genuinely have a relationship of some kind with him, started to heal. And I also just always talked to him. But when I talked to him, he felt so different to the God I felt before. Like they were so vastly different. And recently I decided to just start learning about Yahweh. I learned a lot already. About him having a wife, how he was worshipped long ago, the way Christianity and Catholicism came to be. And how much was also lost due to them trying to erase Asharah as well. And the energy I feel lines up with the more neutral/calm energy I felt from God.

It makes me proud because it is bettering me and the energy I feel from him now is what I always wished it was to be. I don't believe the other energy I felt was God. I have felt intense or heavy energy of some deities that are more serious or even distant. But that other energy was just awful. Yet it was what was "God" in my childhood and with my parents. One theory some have is it's an egregore that evangelicals really believe in which is pretty much I believe. Cause it is so vastly different from the God I am closer to now. It just makes me happy seeing a heavy spot that was so traumatic to me is becoming better and that I'm learning a lot about what he is really like and a lot of history too. Religions and beliefs and faiths and practices are a special interest too outside my practice so I also just like learning about it.

2: Reconnecting to my roots. Since I was young, any time I asked my parents about our ancestry or lineage, I got told we were just American or that we don't know and it doesn't matter. I hated feeling so culturally separated. It's clear our family has been in America for a good while now and let a lot of our cultures go from the past. And it's been something I've never liked since I was a kid. While I don't know everything that I have and want to do a DNA test, I already try to learn about a lot of my roots. I'm mostly focusing on Celtic/Irish now and had German a bit ago. But there's also English, French, and Scottish. I want to really reconnect to those old roots that were left forgotten or colonized and left behind. That old magic and ancestral importance that was forsaken for how it is today. I'm just starting with Celtic/Irish since I feel the largest draw, but I'll get there one day too. A lot was lost through colonization and all since even before they colonized many other nations, white nations very much did colonize themselves first. And so I want to learn about that history and ancestry and come to have it as a part of me. It's gonna be a lot of work, but like. It's important to me. Whatever lineage I have that dates back before many many many eras, I wish to honor it the best I can. So much culture has been lost due to colonization and christianity/catholicism so I feel it's important. It's a shame really. But still. It's especially not going to be easy for like English history either because just a quick look into it and yeah. A lot of it was very much lost to time and to the roman influence and anglo-saxons as well. And it is a shame seeing how much history, culture, and beliefs are lost due to so many influences throughout time. Again, I've only really focused on Celtic/Irish for now so that's the one I'm most well versed in currently. But I know it's going to be a journey with how far back it'll need to go and how much truly was lost. But even if it's not much, I'll do what I can to give it some form of life in today and through me. So little is known about our family and it really shows how much we conformed and paints an ugly history too. We don't know much beyond great grandparents and great great grandparents and I know even less about my dad's side of the family. I barely know anything about his grandparents or his life. So with that and having always wanted to understand my culture and my ancestry, I really want to focus on it with studying and learning what I can and incorporating parts of it into my practice if I can. It's been a strong draw since I was young. This strong pull and desire to know where we come from. Even if I'm the only one in my family, it makes me proud to know I'm gonna do it. And I've already begun to do so.

3: Coming into my own. Lately been feeling Marquis Andras a lot. And he has been helping me for sure. But I feel more renewed strength and learning to trust myself and communicate. Even if his lessons are very intense and painful since, ya know, he's a demon associated with sowing discord. He's not the easiest teacher, but I appreciate that. But even at the start of my journey years ago, it helped so much with my trauma and delusions and hallucinations then. I'm prone to paranoia and I'm schizospec and psychotic so like. I have issues. But since becoming a witch and feeling protected and understanding more of what I feel, it's been better. A lot of the trauma I dealt with back then has eased a bit to where I'm not always angry or scared. And I'm far less frightened at night or in the dark. I feel less powerless. And right now, I'm working on better communication and trusting my gut. I usually downplay my abilities when telling signs or feelings the presence of deities and stuff like that. So. I'm learning to trust it. And to go with my gut more. Cause I am often right. But I'm pretty insecure and have low self esteem and low confidence when doing things myself. And it's been better. Marquis Andras is one of the focuses right now, but all of the deities that have helped me and will help me even if I do not know them yet or can identify them or feel them yet makes me very happy. They have shown me more love than I have ever received. They're important to me. So just. Really becoming more confident and self assured, figuring out what works for me as a really disabled and traumatized person that is financially dependent and not well off, what I'm drawn to, learning to trust myself, and so on. It feels like I really am growing. That every single time, I become a better version of myself. And that makes me proud.

Pagans and polytheists, what are you most proud of in your practice? Lessons you've learned, new methods of worship you've implemented, offerings you've given - that sort of thing. 🧡

[evajzcks]

shattering control ── tom riddle x reader

summary: tom gets in a fight for you for the first time and you help him clean his wounds

warnings: none? grumpy tom x sunshine reader

word count: idk but it is short

everything happened so fast. one moment, he was standing in the hallway, and the next, he was throwing punches at the guy who was trying to get your attention.

tom wasn’t an impulsive man. he never acted on impulse. everything he did was calculated, controlled, and with the intention of achieving something. but the moment he saw the discomfort on your face and the way the ravenclaw was grabbing your arm, he lost it.

“hey, I’m trying to talk to you,” you said when you noticed tom wasn’t listening to you.

“i’m listening,” tom muttered, still lost in his thoughts.

his hands were still shaking from adrenaline. when he closed his eyes, he could still see the red that blinded him the moment he lost control.

“you’re clearly not. otherwise, you would’ve sat on the bed already,” you said, rolling your eyes. “you’re just standing there like a creep.”

after tom finally came back to his senses, you brought him to your room and tried to clean his knuckles. but he just stood there, staring at his bloodied hands.

your relationship with tom wasn’t a secret to anyone. most of the time, the two of you were together after being paired up in defense against the dark arts class. it all started with silent study sessions in the library, both of you enjoying the other’s presence. then came lingering looks, followed by little touches here and there.

while you were energetic, bright, and talkative, tom was calm, controlled, and dark. yet somehow, your contrasting personalities seemed to complement each other perfectly.

“i was just thinking,” tom finally said after a moment, sitting on your bed and watching as you grabbed what looked like a first-aid kit.

“care to share your thoughts?” you asked, softly taking his hands and beginning to clean his wounds with care.

“i don’t know what happened to me,” he admitted quietly. the way you were tending to his hands, the fight, the blur in his head—it all felt too overwhelming.

tom hadn’t been raised with a family, nor had he ever cared about anyone but himself. that was, until you came into his life. now, the rage that consumed him when he saw the guy with you felt like it was tearing down the control he’d spent years mastering, along with the walls he’d built around his emotions.

“why don’t you use magic?” tom asked, watching you with a soft but puzzled expression. “it’s more efficient.”

“but it’s less caring,” you replied, kissing his hands gently. “and clearly, you feel something very strong for me, considering you just got into your first fight over a girl and almost killed a classmate.”

“if i acted with control, i probably would’ve done worse,” he muttered, rolling his eyes as he noticed the smile tugging at your lips.

“oh yes, you would’ve hexed him!”

“worse…” he murmured, disgusted with his actions. if he’d waited, he might have ended up tossing a body into the black lake by now.

“he was bothering me, but you know you can’t just kill everyone, right?” you teased, starting to clean the small bruise on his lip. “i’ll kiss it better.”

“you’re mine, and people should know that,” tom said, pretending to be annoyed by the care you were giving him. “you’ve grown too soft.”

“and you’re grumpy,” you replied, placing a soft kiss on his lips and smiling slightly. “also, you can’t say I’m yours when you won’t even let me call you boyfriend.”

“don’t play with that, Y/N,” he said, gripping your hips firmly as he pulled you into his lap, his earlier worries long forgotten. “that term is too mundane. you know we’re past that.”

a/n: this is my first fanfic here on tumblr so let me know if you liked!!!!!!!! i might do a part two but this time longer 😞

[rosesncarnations]

A what if Nesta actually made it The Wall™️ and it was one of the nights that Lucien was on patrol👀

She was freezing. The boots that she worn for, in the lightest of term, hike to The Wall had holes in the soles. She prayed that she hadn’t given herself frostbite through the snow many times as she huddled under the cloaks she’d snagged from her father and Elain, still shaking even with the damned pants that Feyre always wore under her own skirts that were now caked in mud at the hem. She would strangle that damned fae male. She didn’t know how exactly she’d find him but when she did, because she would, she’d have him writhing in her hands.

No one got to steal her sister in the night. No one.

She was huffing as she crested the last hill and saw the shimmering veil that was The Wall. It was a transparent opalescent sheen and she could just make out a blooming field of flowers with willows hanging low.

She took a breath as she braced herself with the fabled pain that should come when trying to interact with the fae’s magic and was met with nothing. She gave a huff and stepped through deciding she’d give the fae a piece of her mind about that too.

As she crossed through she was met with a tall redhead wearing a fox mask and a gold whirling eye. He was pushing a nymph that’s skin looked like tree bark off his lap as he rushed to her.

“Feyre!” He shouted as he fixed his trousers and she could’ve sworn a blush crept up his tanned neck. “Tamlin is going to have my head when he finds out you managed to get out here.” He was running his hand trough his curls mumbling more to himself.

She could work with that if he thought she was Feyre. But she felt he was pretty stupid if he thought Feyre would be coming through The Wall and not going through back to the mortal lands.

He squinted as he gave a closer look to her bedraggled appearance as if he brain was catching up with her own thoughts. “There’s more of them.” He groaned and rubbed at his face.

She planted her feet in the vague memory of how Feyre had shown her and Elain how to stand if there was someone coming at you. “Take me to this Tamlin.” She growled out.

“Just as feisty too.” He said without acknowledging what she’d really said. Her hand went to the paring knife tucked into top of her skirt as his smile seemed to grow wider. “What do you think that’ll do Feyre two?”

‘Was this a joke to him?’ She thought glaring all the harder at him and repeated her request.

“I better. I wouldn’t want to be diced.” he chuckled, “I don’t see any mushrooms to be paired with.”

She’d stab him. As she made the motion to do just that, he had her wrist in a tight grip as he gave her a feral grin, “You’ll have to be faster than that two.”

She went to growl a scathing comment back before everything went black and she was at the doors of a sprawling manor covered in climbing bushes of roses.

[psychoticallykind]

Jegumas Day Twenty-Two - Santa Claus

865 words

@noblehouseofgay

--------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sorry -” Regulus stopped, staring at his husband with concern. “You want to let someone break into our house and leave things for Harry to open?”

“No,” James shook his head. “No - no one is actually coming in, Reg. It’s a myth. Santa Claus doesn’t really exist.”

“He’s a mythical person who makes toys from his castle in the North Pole and flies around the whole world in one night, breaking into everyone’s houses through the chimney and leaving gifts?” Regulus checked, reiterating what he’d been told.

James looked like he wanted to protest. “Yes? And he’s magical.”

“He’s a wizard?” Regulus asked, skeptical.

“Um.” James winced. “Not exactly, no. He’s a muggle myth.”

“A muggle myth,” Regulus echoed. “Why do they want a strange man dropping down their chimney? Why do you?”

“I -” James closed his eyes, looking a bit more stressed than he had before Regulus had asked what on Earth Effie had meant when she had Harry write a letter to ‘Santa Claus’.

“It’s a belief, Reg. A pretend muggle story. Mum and Dad wanted me to know about muggle culture, so they told me about Santa Claus, and now they’re showing Harry,” James said patiently.

“They’re lying to him,” Regulus pointed out. “We don’t lie to Harry. You hate it when someone suggests we lie to Harry.”

“No one is lying to Harry,” James assured him. “He knows that Santa is a muggle myth. He just likes the fun of it, Reg. It’s just fun.”

Regulus didn’t understand how it was fun to pretend someone was always spying on you so that they could put you on a ‘nice’ or a ‘naughty’ list. “Uh-huh.”

James gave him a pleading look. “It’s like - he’s like a collective imaginary friend. It’s a play pretend game, Reg. Except that a lot of muggle children believe that he’s real until they get a bit older.”

“But Harry knows the truth,” Regulus said. Making sure.

James nodded. “Harry knows.”

Regulus nodded back. He still didn’t see the point of Santa Claus, but if Harry was having fun with it, then maybe it was alright. “Okay.”

“Really?” James asked, shoulders dropping in relief. “It’s okay?”

“Yes,” Regulus replied. “He’s having fun, and he won’t get hurt from us lying to him, so it’s alright.”

James dropped his head into his hands. “Oh thank Merlin.”

Regulus laughed, moving closer and pulling James up so he could hug him. “I didn’t realize you were so stressed about it.”

James curled up against his side. “I really didn’t want to tell Mum and Dad that they had to stop doing things with Santa.”

Regulus felt his heart skip a beat. “You’d have done that?”

His voice came out strange - a little high-pitched, a little strangled. But he couldn’t help it, even as James looked up at him in obvious concern. “You’d have - just because I was against it?”

It was unthinkable. Impossible. He’d never imagined that James would change any family traditions to suit Regulus’s preferences. That would be unrealistic and selfish to expect. It would be unfair.

“Of course, I would,” James said quietly. He sat up a bit to meet Regulus’s eyes, as sincere as he always was. “Regulus. You’re Harry’s parent. You have a say in how we raise him. If you don’t want to celebrate Christmas with Santa Claus, then we won’t. If you have a problem, we’ll work on it. You’re an important part of this family, and your opinion matters.”

Regulus blinked to clear his vision, lost for words.

James smiled, one hand moving to the back of Regulus’s head and pulling him into a soft, sweet kiss. Regulus melted into it, letting the warmth envelop him, letting it sink into everything he was.

They were both breathing a little faster when they pulled apart.

James was looking at him, hazel eyes blown wide but still so, so soft. “You matter.”

Regulus’s breath caught, eyes flying shut to hide how close he was to tears.

It didn’t work, but he hadn’t expected it to. Not with James, who knew him better than anyone in the world.

Their positions switched - James hugging Regulus close, dark curls against a burgundy sweater.

“You matter, Regulus. You’re important and loved and you matter so, so much to all of us.”

Light pressure rubbed up and down his arms, his back. Reassuring touches as he fell apart a little bit. He wasn’t used to this yet. He thought maybe he should be - it had been years with James, with Harry, with people who loved him and accepted him.

But sometimes he got caught off guard by how much they loved him. By the sheer amount of compassion and respect and empathy they all had to offer.

Sometimes he wasn’t sure he really deserved to be here, with James, hearing all of these wonderful things.

But slowly, he was changing that. He was learning that he deserved nice things. Like love, maybe. Because when James said the was loved, he felt it.

And with every soft repetition - you are important, you’re loved, you matter - Regulus believed it a little more.

[nknoxe-n]

◅You call that breakfast?▻

Synopsis: Shidou decides to make you breakfast in bed, too bad his idea of 'breakfast' is atrocious

Warnings: [Shidou himself is always a warning]

w.c 800

The early morning sun peeked through your curtains, its gentle warmth tugging you from sleep. The faint sound of clinking and shuffling echoed from the direction of the kitchen, immediately setting off alarm bells in your groggy mind. Before you could fully process what was happening, Ryusei barged into your bedroom with a tray in hand, a mischievous grin plastered across his face.

“Good morning, sugar tits!” He exclaimed, plopping the tray onto the bed with an exaggerated tone.

You blinked at him, still half-asleep, before glancing at the tray. On it sat an alarming assortment of items: a half-eaten bag of spicy chips, a handful of gummy bears arranged in a smiley face, a can of soda, and what appeared to be a sandwich… if sandwiches were made with two slices of bread and nothing in between.

“Ta-da!” he announced proudly, throwing his hands in the air like he’d just scored the winning goal in a championship game. “A gourmet breakfast, handcrafted with love by yours truly. Go ahead, dig in!”

You gave him a deadpan look. “Ryu… this is not breakfast. This is.. Chaos on a plate.”

“Chaos?” he gasped, clutching his chest like you’d mortally wounded him. “You wound me, babe. This is art. Picasso would weep at the beauty of this spread.!”

You raised an eyebrow, suppressing a laugh. “Picasso didn’t make food.”

“Exactly!” he retorted as if what he was trying to say was plain obvious, leaning in close with that signature manic sparkle in his eyes. “That’s what makes this better. Now, taste it before I cry.”

Knowing there was no winning against him, you sighed and picked up a gummy bear, popping it into your mouth. “Happy now?”

His grin widened as he plucked a chip from the bag and held it to your lips. “Not until you’ve tried everything. Open up, babe.”

You rolled your eyes but obliged, crunching down on the chip. It was absurdly spicy, the heat immediately hitting your tongue. You coughed, reaching for the soda, but Shidou snatched it away with a devilish laugh.

“Ah-ah, no drinks until you finish the sandwich,” he teased, holding the can just out of reach.

“Shidou Ryusei,” you said, your voice a warning.

“What? I’m just trying to make sure you enjoy the full experience,” he replied innocently, his grin anything but.

You shook your head, suppressing a laugh, and reached for the soda again. This time, you managed to snatch it from his grasp, triumphantly cracking it open.

Before you could take a sip, Shidou leaned closer, his face suddenly inches from yours. “Careful,” he whispered, his voice low and teasing. “That soda’s not just any soda. It’s infused with the magic of my love. One sip, and you might fall even harder for me~”

You froze for a moment, caught off guard by the intensity in his gaze, before bursting into laughter. “Shidou, you’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re adorable,” he shot back without missing a beat. “So, who’s really winning here?”

Deciding to play along, you took a dramatic sip of the soda, giving him a mock-thoughtful look. “Hmm. Nope. Tastes like regular soda to me. Guess your magic didn’t work.”

He gasped, clutching at his chest like you’d just delivered a fatal blow. “Babe, how could you? My love isn’t regular! Take it back!”

“Nope.” You smirked, leaning back against the pillows, savoring your tiny victory.

Shidou, of course, couldn’t let that slide. He dove forward, tackling you onto the mattress with a laugh. “Oh, you’re asking for it now!” he declared, tickling your sides until you were squirming and crying with laughter.

“Okay, okay!” you wheezed between giggles. “Your love isn’t regular! It’s… it’s premium or whatever! Stop- you'll spill the food hah!”

“Damn right it is.” He stopped his assault, grinning triumphantly as he flopped down beside you and picked up the tray, only to set it aside on the nightstand. He turned back to you and pulled you close, his arm slung around your shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

For a few moments, everything stilled. You rested your head against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat steady and comforting. He glanced down at you, his earlier playfulness softening into something gentler.

“Y’know,” he murmured, brushing a stray hair from your face, “you’re kind of my favourite person. Thanks for putting up with my crap.”

You looked up at him, your heart-warming at the sincerity in his voice. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Ryusei,” you teased, poking his cheek.

He laughed, the sound loud and unrestrained, just like him. “Lucky? Babe, I’m blessed. I’ve got you.”

And as much as you wanted to roll your eyes at his cockiness, you couldn’t help but smile. Shidou Ryusei might be a lot of things—Erratic, devious, and downright ridiculous—but moments like this reminded you why you wouldn’t have him any other way.

[dani-the-human]

I spent way too long on this, I've never even written these characters because I never knew how to wrote them- AND THEN YOU GIVE ME BRAIN WORMS

Here, take this and leave!

------------

"Santa isn't real, you cursed child!" Was the first thing Roksoo heard Christmas day the year his parents died as his uncle drank another bottle and shouted profanities at Roksoo. His uncle had already had 5 bottles strewn about the kitchen table and was working on his 6th when Roksoo got up and went to the living room to find the tree thrown into the wall, ornaments shattered across the floor. When he asked his uncle about it, Roksoo got an empty bottle thrown at his head and a stream of unintelligible yelling before he finally looked Roksoo in the eye and told him that Santa wasn't real.

Roksoo had figured as much. He was a smart kid and already was figuring out that Santa probably wasn't real even if his parents told him otherwise. Still, he liked the tradition. He loved seeing his parents try and fail to hide his gifts late at night or poorly cover for the other when one of them went to buy gifts.

To him, they were Santa, and that was even better than if the man were real because seeing them go out of their way to make sure Roksoo had a good Christmas was better than any magic.

So Roksoo played along. If his parents wanted to keep him believing in magic then Roksoo would.

He can't now that they're gone.

"You're the reason they will never see another Christmas."

And for all his skepticism and logical thinking, those hissed out words would brand Roksoo for the rest of his life.

Why did he deserve to celebrate Christmas when the people who made the holiday magic weren't here? He didn't.

So Roksoo never celebrated Christmas. Not with his uncle because he "didn't deserve Christmas," not at the orphanage because even if the staff tried to make it fun for the kids, Roksoo always was forgotten and left out, not when he was working to support himself because each shift was precious income that Roksoo couldn't afford to pass up, and especially not after the apocalypse where everyone was just trying to survive.

Christmas was never a priority. It was just a day.

"ROKSOOOOOOO," Choi Jungsoo whined as he tried and failed to get a salvaged Santa hat that he found in an abandoned department store onto Roksoo's head. "ITS CHRISTMAS EVE, YOU NEED TO BE FESTIVE! YOU HAVEN'TEVEN PUT UP THE STOCKING I GAVE YOU!!"

"... It's too much trouble-"

"FINE, I'll just do it for you!" Pulling the aforementioned stocking out of a drawer in Roksoo's desk, Choi Jungsoo hung it up with flare and motioned to it like it was his magnum opus. "Now Santa has a place to put your presents."

"I never get any."

The silence that follows finally makes Roksoo look up at his coworker and self-assigned hyung. What he finds in a slack-jawed Jungsoo in front of him and Lee Soohyuk giving him a wide-eyed look like Roksoo just told him the world is flat.

It takes a while due to Roksoo's ambiguous and nonchalant responses, but eventually Lee Soohyuk and Choi Junsoo piece together that Roksoo hasn't properly celebrated Christmas since he was a very young child.

What follows that revelation is his two self-appointed hyungs arriving on his doorstep after work, hands full of blankets, decorations, and food and hauling behind them a cart with everything from presets, ornaments, and a whole fake tree that had obviously seen a lot of use. They set everything up in record time and Roksoo was forced to stay up till midnight as his hyungs made him play games and make food with them until the clock finally struck 12. At which point, the two pulled him towards the tree and the three gifts underneath it.

"Here, this one's from me, you troublesome maknae," Lee Soohyuk went first, handing Roksoo a flat box wrapped in simple green paper. "You hate the cold so I thought these might help."

Roksoo opened the box, inside was a dark jacket with two layers. The outer layer had a lot of pockets and felt more like a raincoat, while the inner layer had a softer feel and was very warm without being too bulky.

"The two can also come apart since they have zippers to attach them-"

"Me next!" Jungsoo interrupted, practically shoving the present into Roksoo's hands as he beamed. "From your hyung."

Roksoo couldn't hold back reminding him that they were born on the same day, much to Jungsoo's dismay.

This present was smaller than Lee Soohyuk's but was slightly taller, wrapped in red paper that looked slightly scuffed and even had a rip on one of the corners.

Inside was a book, almost fully intact besides some stains and some tears at the corners, that had a black dragon on the cover.

"I found it in an old house and I figured you'd like it. But take it out, there's some stuff underneath!"

Doing so, Roksoo found a pair of gloves and an eye mask with the words 'Dont talk to me Im sleeping' sewn on the front.

"Decided to add that while you were cooking with Hyung."

That explained why he was so quiet despite his normal complaints about being banned from the kitchen after one incident.

"Last one is from both of us Roksoo, hope you like it," Lee Soohyuk said as he passed Roksoo the final gift.

"Our precious maknae better like it, I'll cry if he doesn't! You better not make your hyung cry, Roksoo."

Roksoo didn't bother correcting Jungsoo this time and instead focused on the gift in his hands. This one was also flat and smaller than the other two gifts as it easily fit in Roksoo's hands. It was wrapped in light purple paper with a small fabric bow at the center that looked hand tied.

Inside was a picture frame.

"They took that after we got back from a mission last year," Lee Soohyuk explained.

"It took us a while to get it developed properly, but I think it was worth it," Choi Jungsoo piped in. "Now you'll always have us with you!"

"...thank you."

It was a simple thanks, yet the two lit up like the Christmas tree next to them after Roksoo said that.

Only for their faces to fall as blood started dripping from Roksoo's nose.

"Roksoo!" Both yelled as they fussed around him.

"Why are you using [Record] right now, you troublesome maknae???"

Lee Soohyuk was practically shaking him while Choi Jungsoo was grabbing tissues for him.

"It was important."

He kept recording as they fussed over him. He had been since they started decorating his place.

The next day, the two found the picture on Roksoo's desk facing him as he worked. No one on the team ever saw it dusty.

(I ACCIDENTALLY MADE IT SAD, WHY DID I MAKE IT SAD- Please skip over this if you don't want sad, I made myself sad, their story is sad, why do I do this???)

Ever since Roksoo was appointed Team Leader, no one has seen what's in the picture frame on his desk. It's always faced down, never up, but it's never dusty and still looks like new. Every day on Christmas Eve, the picture vanishes, only to return the day after Christmas to it's spot.

One day, a brave member takes a look at it while Roksoo is at a meeting.

It shows Roksoo at the center, surrounded on both sides by Choi Jungsoo on the left and Lee Soohyuk on the right, both with thier arms around Roksoo and grinning widely despite the dirt and grime that covers them. Roksoo is also covered in dirt and has a trail of blood coming from his nose that has been messily wiped away, but he also has a small smile on his face that no one on the team ever thought he could make.

In the corner is a small note in marker: 'Merry Christmas to our maknae- your hyungs'

Kim Roksoo did not believe in Santa as a child.

After getting rescued from his abusive uncle,

Literally any adult: so, Roksoo? What did you ask Santa to give you this Christmas?

KRS, without missing a beat: Santa isn't real so I didn't bother asking.

The adults: *having no idea how to go from here*

It was fine until his parents were alive. Even his uncle initially bought him gifts to protect his innocence. But after he fell deep into gambling... Well, you can picture it.

[superfluouskeys]

gonna be kind of funny to go to the counseling appointment i made last week when i was in crisis and be like yeah so most of the stuff that was making me crazy just suddenly and unexpectedly resolved like yesterday so i'm probably mostly fine now aside from being confused that that happened LOL

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

DINNER IS (finally) SERVED

3000ish words later and part 8 is here! hope you guys enjoy!

(p.s my headcanons explainations are in the tags if you're curious)

(p.p.s credit also goes to @rin-solo for the first headcanon )

the post/thread that started this whole au

dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

there's a masterlist now!

*odysseus is making his way to the dining hall, while athena and poseidon are following behind*

poseidon: *looking around at the decorations/tapestry dotted around*

poseidon: *see’s a tapestry of what looks to be a very much younger odysseus in full king & armour attire*

poseidon: *stops walking, and turns to look at the actual odysseus in front of him, then back at the tapestry*

poseidon: *to odysseus with a sardonic tone* do your weavers like making you look like a boy, or was that a decision you made to make yourself look younger?

odysseus: *pauses his walking to see what poseidon is talking about*

athena: *also pauses and turns to poseidon*

odysseus: *sees the tapestry in question*

odysseus: *sighs* of course you point that one out 

athena: *who knew odysseus before he was king*

athena: *glaring at poseidon* uncle, you shouldn’t make assumptions, especially when you don’t know the facts

odysseus: *pats athena on the shoulder as he passes her*

odysseus: it’s fine athena

odysseus: *next to poseidon and looking up at the tapestry* if you must know, that is actually the age i was. 

poseidon: *not believing him* yeah right, you couldn’t be older than fifteen in this

odysseus: *turns to him with a sharp look* you’re correct, i was fifteen

poseidon: *slightly wary of odysseus’ mood* so… you became king at fifteen? isn’t that a little bit young for a mortal to rule a kingdom?

odysseus: *turns back to the tapestry* i was already the king, i was actually crowned when i was thirteen

poseidon: *shocked and confused* why would a child be given a kingdom to run?

odysseus: *looks down with a sad smile, at the memory of his father telling him about him losing his mind, and how sorry he was to place such a huge responsibility on his young son’s shoulders*

odysseus: well, i had no choice, but i would do it again if i had to… 

odysseus: *turns to athena* besides, i had athena to help guide me

athena: *smiles with a nod at odysseus*

odysseus: *starts walking in the direction of the dining hall again* anyway…enough of that, can we please just make our way to the dining hall now

*they all continue making their way down the hall*

poseidon: *notices a stain on the floor tiles not far in front of them*

poseidon: *points* i think your servants missed a spot

athena & odysseus: *both look to where he’s pointing*

athena: *chuckles to herself in knowing*

odysseus: *smirks* 

poseidon: *sees both their expressions, and is confused* 

odysseus: oh that..oh don’t worry it’s clean

odysseus: *shrugs* it’s just so hard to get bloodstains out of white titles

poseidon: *wide eyed* blood?

odysseus: yeah.. not long after i finished with you, i arrived back on my island to find my palace overrun with 108…mutts… all vying for my wife’s hand. 

odysseus: *waving his hand like it was a simple issue* so i made sure to deal with them all myself… unfortunately one of them left a stain.

odysseus: -oh look we’ve made it

odysseus: hope we haven’t kept them too long

poseidon: *shocked at all the new odysseus lore he’s unlocked*

athena: *laughing at poseidon’s expression*

odysseus: *opening the door* come on let’s head in

poseidon: *shakes away the shock*

odysseus: *to poseidon* i guess it’s time to introduce you to my wife

*they all walk through the doorway into the dining hall*

*there penelope and telemachus both stand not too far from the dining table; which has quite the feast laid out, and from the steam coming off of it, it had not long be put there*

odysseus: *heads over to his son & wife*

odysseus: *looks at poseidon* poseidon, you’ve met my son telemachus before.

telemachus: *can barely keep in his excitement* 

telemachus: hi- i mean good evening lord poseidon, i’m so happ- grateful you accepted my father's invitation for dinner. 

telemachus: *puts his arm on his chest, and leans forward in a  bow of respect* i hope you enjoy the evening.

odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon, silently threatening him to not be rude to his son*

telemachus: *looks back up at poseidon, smile on his face*

poseidon: *quickly nods his head in greeting to telemachus* good evening prince, your father tells me that this was all your idea 

telemachus: *raises a hand to nervously scratch under his chin* um… yes i guess it was

poseidon: well then, thank you for the idea to invite me.

telemachus: *hand leaves his chin and a big smile breaks out* well of course! you are my father’s friend after all!

poseidon: *eye twitches before he quickly composes himself* 

poseidon: yes… friend.

odysseus: *coughs* yes and now that you’ve both reacquainted yourselves again… telemachus why don’t you go speak with athena for a moment

telemachus: sure!

*telemachus makes his way to athena, and they start talking amongst themselves*

odysseus: *puts his arm around penelope’s waist* now, please let me introduce you to my wife; the queen of ithaca, penelope. 

penelope: *doesn’t bow like telemachus, but nods in greeting* welcome to our palace lord poseidon

poseidon: *nods back* thank you for having me queen penelope

penelope: *smiles but her eyes have a certain glint to them* 

penelope: my husband has told me all about your part in his journey home to us

poseidon: *totally not panicking a little* uh-

penelope: *glint leaves her eyes, but her smile remains*

penelope: -and also how you have helped out on his and my son’s fishing trips lately.

penelope: of course, i would also like thank you for taking the time to attend tonight

poseidon: sure… no problem?

odysseus: great, everyone has met everyone! 

odysseus: *to everyone* now, shall we sit down and eat the lovely feast the cooks have made us, before it gets cold?

odysseus: *moves to pull out one of the chairs at the head of the table for penelope as he normally does, when he notices that, there is only one chair instead of two*

odysseus: *looks up at the table and sees a piece of parchment with ‘mother’ written on it* 

odysseus: huh?

telemachus: *makes his way over to his father* oh! there’s a different than usual seating plan for tonight! i’ve put everyone's names where they should sit.

odysseus: *smiles at telemachus* oh ok, sure!

odysseus: well, i guess i should look for mine then, hey?

telemachus: yes, and please everyone else too!

*everyone makes their way to the table to see where they’re sitting (even though three of them already know)*

odysseus: *sees the parchment with ‘father’ on it* 

odysseus: *expecting to have either athena or telemachus next to him*

odysseus: *watches as athena stands in front of the seat opposite him*

odysseus: *thinks it’s weird to put athena & poseidon together, but thinks telemachus has done is as they are uncle & niece*

odysseus: *then sees telemachus stood in front of the seat next to athena*

odysseus: wait-

poseidon: *sees his name and heads towards it, only to look up and see odysseus standing in front of the seat next to him*

poseidon: wait-

poseidon & odysseus: *both look at each other in horror that they're stuck next to each other all evening*

telemachus: *not noticing the looks of doom on their faces* isn’t this great? it’s a family dinner, so what better than friends sitting together? 

telemachus: *turning to penelope* sorry you’re by yourself at the head of the table though mother

penelope: *smiles and waves her hand* i don’t mind

penelope: anyway, let's sit and eat!

*everyone but odysseus and poseidon sit down. both who have a death grip on the back of their seats*

penelope: *clears her throat* odysseus, lord poseidon… would you both please sit down.

odysseus: *snaps out of his staring at poseidon* 

odysseus: uh sure…

odysseus: *sits down and look back to poseidon, nodding his head at poseidon’s seat in the motion for him to also sit down*

poseidon: *still doesn’t sit*

odysseus: *a millisecond of a flash of red eyes* 

poseidon: *sits*

odysseus: *internally to himself* oh this is gonna be a long evening

odysseus: *to everyone* ok, everyone dig in!

odysseus: *to poseidon* can you get what you want for yourself, mighty sea god? or do you need a mortal’s help?

poseidon: *grabbing a lamb chop off a platter and tearing into it savagely in defiance*

odysseus: *rolls his eyes at poseidon, but goes to place a filet of fish on his plate*

*everyone has been eating and talking*

poseidon: *looks at penelope (who is talking to telemachus & athena) and then looks at odysseus*

poseidon: *thinking and then looks back to penelope*

odysseus: *to poseidon* is there a reason you keep looking at my wife?

poseidon: *jumps at little at being caught looking* 

poseidon: *turns to odysseus* oh do not worry yourself, i have no interest in your wife

odysseus: *unimpressed* why do you keep looking at her then?

poseidon: im..curious 

odysseus: *narrowing his eyes* about?

poseidon: normally you mortal men choose women younger than them for their wives… yet clearly your wife is; from my estimates… about a decade older than you

poseidon: *now with his hand under his chin, leaning on the table* 

poseidon: do you perhaps…prefer older women odysseus?

odysseus: *hands tighten in grip around his cutlery*

poseidon: *notices odysseus hasn’t responded yet*

poseidon: i’m right aren’t -

odysseus: no.

odysseus: *his eyes may not be red, but are clearly full of anger*

poseidon: *eyes widen in worry* whoa whoa! no need to get angry, it’s just a simple observation…. anyone if they pay attention can see the age difference

poseidon: *moves his hand to flick his hair back over his shoulder* it’s not a bad thing

odysseus: *takes a breath in to calm down and then slowly releases it*

odysseus: we are- were the same age… physically at least

poseidon: *confused* i don’t follow

odysseus: *looks at poseidon* during the 10 years it took for me to get home… i found myself stuck on a goddess’ island for 7 of them…

poseidon: ok…

odysseus: *closes his eyes* caly- the goddess had full control over everything on the island… her magic influenced everything… including a mortal's ability to age.

poseidon: so you didn’t-

odysseus: -age? yeah

odysseus: *sighs and opens his eyes* when i realised i wasn’t… i- i- 

odysseus: lets just say i didn’t handle it well

poseidon: *blinks at this new information* oh

odysseus: yep ‘oh’ indeed… 

odysseus: *looks back at poseidon*

odysseus: didn’t you think it was odd that i looked exactly the same when we met again, almost 10 years after our first meeting?

poseidon: in my defence… i was angry and trying to kill you, i wasn’t really paying attention to how you looked

odysseus: *rolls his eyes* i guess that's true

telemachus: uh lord poseidon? may i ask you a question?

poseidon: *happy to not continue his conversation with odysseus*

poseidon: *to telemachus* ask away prince of ithaca

telemachus: is it true that you gave achilles his horses balius & xanthus?

poseidon: *amazed at telemachus’ knowledge* 

poseidon: not directly… but yes i am the reason he came to acquire them. you see i gave them to his father peleus, as a wedding gift for his wife thetis…

*poseidon continues to tell the tale, and odysseus speaks with athena and penelope while more time passes*

*the meal is continuing smoothly as can be*

poseidon: *notices that odysseus has only been eating the fish. not touching a single bit of pork, beef or lamb that's also on the table* 

poseidon: *who has continuously eaten all meats available*

poseidon: *to odysseus* is there something i should know about the meat?

odysseus: huh?

poseidon: *points at the selection of meat in question* what's wrong with the meat? you’ve only touched the fish.

poseidon: if i hadn’t seen the others eat it, i’d worry you’d asked your cooks to poison it or something. 

odysseus: *raised eyebrow* poison won’t hurt you though? 

odysseus: *pointing a fork at him* also, why do you care about my eating habits?

poseidon: *frowning at the fork* i don’t, i’m just-

odysseus: curious? poseidon, i thought you were the god of the sea, not curiosity…

poseidon: *huffs* forget it-

odysseus: i can’t

poseidon: *now his eyebrow is raised* you…can’t?

odysseus: *now using the fork to push the food on his plate around* i can’t stomach eating lamb, pork or beef anymore

poseidon: *forever confused by odysseus* uh why?

odysseus: *gives poseidon a ‘do i really have to explain everything?’ look*

poseidon: *just stares*

odysseus: *once again sighing because of poseidon* well i thought you’d understand lamb… after the whole sheep incident with… your son.

odysseus: then after i escaped you with the wind bag-

poseidon: *rolls his eyes at the memory*

odysseus: we wound up on the sorceress circe’s island… where she turned my men to pigs. 

odysseus: i managed to convince her to turn them back, but it now feels weird to eat pork

odysseus: as for beef, short story is my men ignored my warnings and killed the sacred cattle of the sun god… so yeah beef is a no go for me also. 

poseidon: *wondering how one mortal managed to interact with so many gods on a journey to get home*

poseidon: *laughs at odysseus* and you’re letting that affect your eating habits? i expected you to be stronger than that odysseus

odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon* oh just like how you let my handling of your trident, affect you into doing as i say?

poseidon: *now glaring back* 

poseidon: *turns away from odysseus* whatever, more meat for me

*dinner continues, with telemachus asking poseidon more questions. poseidon loving the interest in him and telelmachus’ knowledge, answers the all the questions with surprising enthusiasm*

*eventually what was once a giant feast of food has nearly been cleared from the table, thanks to having two gods eating most of it*

telemachus: have you enjoyed yourself so far lord poseidon? 

telemachus: *smiling* it’s been really fascinating and fun to learn so much more about you

poseidon: *almost letting a small smile appear on his face in return*

poseidon: *instead just nods* yes, it certainly has been an interesting & knowledgeable evening

telemachus: what about the seating, was it a good idea to put you with my father?

poseidon: *wants to answer no, but feels a kick from under the table. clearly from odysseus*

poseidon: yes, you came up with an ok-

odysseus: *gives another kick* 

poseidon: -great idea

telemachus: *laughs in happiness* 

telemachus: oh but i can’t take all the credit

odysseus: *raises an eyebrow in curiosity* 

athena: *who is sipping wine next to him*

athena: *slightly chokes* wai-

odysseus: *suspicious* son, you must make sure to tell us who else to thank for this

telemachus: *not understanding the bombshell he’s about to drop* oh athena actually came up with the idea!

athena: *suddenly nervous with the two very intense stares directed at her*

athena: w-well it was just a suggestion really…

telemachus: no ‘thena! remember you said as it’s a family dinner, friends should sit with friends!

odysseus: *to athena with the fakest smile* oh athena, how considerate!

penelope: *who has been quiet this whole exchange*

telemachus: *as if he hasn’t already unknowingly thrown one person to the wolves* but i of course had to run it by mother first, as she was helping me with all the planning!

penelope: *eyes have totally not widened*

telemachus: she said it was a great idea!

odysseus: *now to penelope* oh my dear wife, a great idea eh?

poseidon: *just chugs back his cup of wine at the revelations*

*after a awkward moment (at least for 4 of them) they continue on finishing the meal*

*eventually the food is finished and the dinner has come to an end, everyone has moved away from the dinner table and are now sitting on cushion chairs or standing around them talking amongst themselves*

poseidon: *looking out the window seeing just how dark the night sky now is* 

poseidon: well this has been a lovely evening, but it is getting late and i have been away from the sea for as long as i can.

poseidon: *turning to penelope and nodding his head in actual respect* queen penelope, thank you for your hosting

poseidon: *without nodding at them* athena, odysseus… good night.

*before poseidon can turn to bid telemachus good night, the prince runs out the room*

telemachus: *yelling before he leaves the room* please lord poseidon, wait a moment! i forgot something!

poseidon: *turns to look at odysseus in confusion* 

odysseus: *just shrugs also confused* 

poseidon: *turns back to the door, telemachus long gone* uh sure.

*not long later telemachus runs back into the room dishevelled but holding something in his hand*

telemachus: *walks up to poseidon* 

telemachus: *bows and holds out something covered in a silk cloth to him*

poseidon: uh-

telemachus: it’s a gift! i’m not expecting anything in return, and i’m sure you have better things… but i saw it and thought you’d like it

poseidon: *blinks, but takes the gift from telemachus’ hands*

poseidon: *carefully unties the silk cloth*

poseidon: *breathes in sharply*

telemachus: *not sure if that's a good or bad reaction* uh if you don’t like it that's fin-

poseidon: *holds his hand to stop telemachus* 

poseidon: prince of ithac-

telemachus: telemachus- sorry for interrupting. please my lord, call me telemachus

poseidon: …telemachus. thank you, this is a very thoughtful gift. 

poseidon: i will cherish it.

penelope & odysseus: *curious over what's got the god of the seas ‘cherishing’ something*

athena: *small smile as she knows*

*penelope & odysseus move closer to poseidon who is still staring down at his gift. once close enough they can see in his hand is a a handcrafted glass/crystal hippocampus*

*poseidon ended up wrapping it back in the silk cloth, and placing it in his chiton. He then thanked telemachus again and bid him good night & farewell. odysseus offered to walk back to the cove with him, but poseidon waved him off and told him to stay with his family*

[hecksupremechips]

Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?

[nfcv-saltmine]

I don't want to spoil your fun, but seriously? THIS is your favorite screenshot of the show? THIS is the big moment that makes you like their dynamic? It says a lot. Sorry but I'm going to be mean. It's nothing personal, I just so happen to have a very different opinion from yours.

Let me re-contextualize: Trevor just told Sypha and Alucard his tragic backstory. How he was a kid when his family got killed by the very people they were trying to protect. He spent his entire life after that, alone. No one to help him survive. He had to do it all himself, and due to this extremely difficult life, he became a rude alcoholic. But a rude alcoholic who still ended up going out of his way to help people. He doesn't know Sypha nor Alucard, and yet, he still brings them to the ruins of his childhood home, a place you can guess he doesn't visit often! And he leads them to his family's most precious secret. Centuries worth of knowledge and artefacts. This is an ENORMOUS deal. He's ready to go as far as expose his own vulnerability and risk to compromise what is left of his family's legacy, for the sake of saving people.

And what is the first thing Alucard does?

This. He insults Trevor's entire lineage. He insults his dead family to his fucking face. He sees the treasures accumulated and used to save innocents for centuries, wich was hidden behind a magic seal because of how precious it is... and he shits on it. KNOWING how damaged Trevor is after losing the same fucking family he is insulting with no remorse. And it's supposed to be quirky and funny because Alucard is Traumatized? TREVOR IS TOO. And do I have to remind everyone that Alucard himself commented on "having more of a childhood than him"? He knows what he's doing.

And the worst part is: Trevor is being incredibly calm here. He doesn't throw a punch, he doesn't scream, he just whispers to Alucard to shut up after he has been nothing but condescending to his whole bloodline, which honestly must be pretty triggering to Trevor so kudos to him for not getting more violent! But the MOMENT he stands up for himself because Alucard just can't stop spitting on him and everyone he ever loved and everything he and his family ever worked on, Sypha stops him. Trevor is shown to be in the wrong. Trevor is the one who needs to grow up and ignore his bully. He needs to be the better man. Friendly reminder that the worst thing Trevor did to Alucard was joking about Dracula teaching bloodletting to Lisa.

And that's not all! After Trevor did all this for the sake of saving the world, Alucard dares to call him, behind his back, "unreliable". AND HE ADDS MORE TO IT by calling him "emotionnally damaged" as well, because apparently that's something he should be ashamed of! Ah, but yes, it's actually funny because you see, he too is emotionnally damaged and probably projecting and scared and doesn't know how to deal with his own trauma... well I don't give a single shit because the cunt never once apologizes. We don't see him, at the end of the show, telling Trevor "btw I'm glad you're alive and so sorry for being a cunt to you back then", no. We don't see him express one bit of regret for his past behavior. In fact, not only does he make the handmade dolls of his "friends" say awful shit that shows how he's really seeing them, but he also look at himself in the mirror one day, see how dirty he is... and immediately compares himself to Trevor, showing us one more time what he thinks of his "friend".

And the term "friend" is way too big for whatever the trio has going on. The whole show severely lacks scenes of them actually bonding. We're offered a dynamic, and we're just supposed to go with it and accept that they are friends now, when they don't spend ONE moment actually growing closer as a group. It's worse, actually - we see them curse at each other and shittalk to each other... and THAT is what we're meant to see as bonding! The "eat shit and die" is a perfect example of that because Alucard and Trevor are still strangers to each other, yet they laugh at them cursing at each other as you would with your bestie. Except it works with your bestie, because you know each other very well. They don't. They did not earn that laugh. But it did establish very well that we were going to get fed an hostile dynamic between them and that we are just supposed to believe they are friends now. Despite not having any scene showing us that hey, they actually work together! They can talk nicely to each other sometimes! They care about each other! They respect each other!

And we're supposed to believe they are super important to each other? Please explain to me when, between the moment Alucard started to call Trevor's family "mentally ill hoarders", and the moment they killed Dracula, did they suddenly grow so close Trevor would give the man who has been insulting his entire legacy, said legacy?? (Especially if you think they spent two weeks being annoyed at each other.) It can be funny to see characters have banter and being overall nuisances to each other (granted character A doesn't literally shit on Character's B dead relatives!)... But unless they are supposed to be foes, you need to balance it with actual bonding moments. With actual moments of them being good to each other, to show they care. NFCV doesn't do that. And I can't for the life of me comprehend HOW are we supposed to be super happy and hyped for their reunion in s4, when it wasn't earned one bit! It was the OPPOSITE of earned! (The Arikado + Trevor reunion in Grimoire of Souls was way more impactful and heartwarming)

This is it, my favorite screenshot in the whole show.

It perfectly encapsulates their entire dynamic as a trio in the early seasons.

Sypha, she's just so sick of everybody's shit. They haven't been a group for more than two weeks at this point, and yet all she's heard from the boys are death threats and insults with a side of sarcasm. She has kicked one or both of them out of the wagon on more than one occasion.

Trevor, he's specifically sick of Alucard's shit. He's used to being the one who gives everyone else the shit. How the turn tables.

Alucard, he's learning what trauma is, and he's not taking it well. Better to entertain himself by giving Trevor record breaking amounts of shit than to reflect on his own suffering in any way, at least until the war is over.

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

not me immediately getting jude from this

who did you guys get? 👀