#it's not like I haven't been sick for the past 4 years almost
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Little update ^^
Well, well, who'd've known, yours truly is reckless and got Covid "-.-
I blame Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard and my constant love for going to concerts after such a long time in this godforsaken lockdown :)
(my Dante side is showing)
Anyways, I'm isolated in my room now. I'm making this lil' update so I can tell you people: do take care of yourselves - but if you are in a risk group, take care of yourselves in double, please.
A year ago, my sister and my dad got Covid - they felt almost nothing. They just got really grumpy and locked in their rooms, waiting for the day of their sweet, sweet freedom. Apart from that, they felt only like a mild flu, nothing much.
As some of you know, I've an autoimmune liver disease - which puts me in risk group. I could barely get up yesterday - I slept the whole day, got up at 7 p.m, had fever the whole day and through the night, couldn't eat without feeling miserable and slept until 2 p.m today. My whole body hurts, my head also hurts really bad, I couldn't properly work on my artist tasks for the week, and I am so so so tired I think I'm gonna faint sometimes.
But worry not, I'm already feeling a little better today. I think the worst day was yesterday. Hopefully by next week I'll already be ok regarding this.
I'm just writing all this because seriously, we all react differently. I was so scared to get Covid and everyone kept telling me like "oh, it's ok, don't worry, if you get it you'll feel like a flu and in 2 days you're good" - I've been feeling like this for 4 days now. I'm really sick and miserable.
Point being: my reactions to this are VERY different than everyone else's and I'm not being too over the top when I'm still wearing masks and taking care of myself when going out.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for taking care of your health too. It's better to look like a weirdo than being sick like this, trust me ;)
My mom, in the other hand, is taking relentless care of me and is the one single being in this household to seem not to get sick. I say she's like Highlander, nothing can touch her.
Seriously. The woman ate a dead oyster in her youth and only felt a little sick in a flight home. She is the toughest being I've ever seen in my whole life. She got an Extreme Unction from a priest who thought she was going to die when she was like 12 years old and, lo and behold, the woman persevered.
Greek half-immortal heroes know nothing compared to my mom.
I do think Eva is pretty much like her in that department, no demonic or human disease could touch her
All in all, everything is fine. I'll take this isolation time to draw like a mad-woman, be more serious when studying languages, learning to play the guitar properly and writing more stuff to you guys.
I'll keep you all posted! And remember TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES DESPITE WHAT THE WORLD THINKS OF IT!
#polaris speaks#life update#covid#covid 19#tw covid#tw pandemic#pandemic#I'm putting all these in the tags so people who don't want to see pandemic related things don't have to read it#I do hope it works#but yeah all in all don't worry about me#I'm miserable but fine HAHAHAHA#it's not like I haven't been sick for the past 4 years almost#I'm just really disappointed at myself#I'm feeling like a foolish reckless woman who should've known better#(yeah yeah my Vergil's showing)#nevertheless I'll be here more I think#'cause I'm stranded in my bedroom now#*empty smile*
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
💔
#hey y'all#sorry I haven't been as active as usual for these past two-ish weeks#i've been going through it#the guy i've been seeing lost interest in me i'm almost 100% sure#like we hung out twice last week (4/18 and 4/20) and it was only to see that movie and we played pool at our campus rec center#and he hasn't reached out to talk since last sat. i've been the one to reach out. I feel like i'm watering a dead plant.#he's been slow to respond with short curt messages if he responds at all#and the last time he texted first was 4/23 at 1 am bc he wanted to sext. made me feel kinda yucky. i havent seen him in person since 4/20#he said was busy this past week and that he wouldnt be able to hang - but it does only take like 2 seconds to send a quick text yk?#i just. am fucking heartbroken. I got too fucking attached.#and today was our campus's biggest “block party” event of the year and he is just. partying with god knows who doing god knows what rn#and he's literally going to Spain to study abroad in may and is going to Princeton in the fall for grad school (very far from here.)#so I know the next time I see him will be the last time ever. i wrote him a long ass letter explaining all my feels and saying goodbye#i've cried everyday :( i'm so sick of feeling like this.#can't wait for this semester to be over.#personal
0 notes
Text
hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)
i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now
although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.
i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense
as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.
anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.
sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.
anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!
167 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wing Man Part 6
Fic Summary: Steve 'the Hair' Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you'll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie. (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9)
Chapter Summary: What DID he mean by five? The second meeting.
5.1k words
A/N: How are we feeling in a post-"Flight of Icarus" world, y'all? I knew from the beginning that I'd want to add some of the lore in and let me tell you, I LOVE Ronnie Ecker. For those of you who did not read the book, or haven't had a chance to, Ronnie is Eddie's best friend who ended up with a full scholarship to NYU. They're siblings, your honor.
Also if anyone can show me on this map where the plot is going, I'd really appreciate it.
This late at night, the only sounds in the trailer park came from the occasional dog barking and the echoes of Eddie’s tapes blasting as he pulled up to Wayne’s trailer. His uncle was working tonight as usual, which would normally allow Eddie time to hog the tv before passing out for a few precious hours before he had to get up for school.
Tonight however, his mind was buzzing with what had just happened less than an hour ago. He liked you, he wasn’t sure how much yet but he did. You were sharp and knew your stuff about metal. It helped that you were cute. Really cute.
He liked seeing you in the passenger seat of his car, matching wits with his friends and ranting about Ozzy. He liked seeing you laughing and the way you watched him play. He really liked the way you had fiddled with the pick he’d thrown at you at the end of the set.
Eddie had never done that before. He’d wanted to, but never had anyone’s attention like that before- no. That wasn’t true. There had been one other person who’d listened to him play like that, two years ago.
Was he always gonna fold to the site of a pretty girl actually paying attention to his music?
“Of course you are.” Ronnie’s voice echoed on the phone. “And I’m gonna laugh every time you do.”
Eddie groaned, holding the receiver to his ear as his forehead pressed against the front of the fridge. He hadn’t planned on running to her with this, but he was nowhere near able to wind down. He hadn’t even expected Ronnie to pick up the phone this late at night with the time zone difference and the fact that it was a school night. He’d have to push his stash a bit harder to pay Wayne back for the long distance call.
The past two years had been a slow crawl of building back trust up with Veronica Ecker. The two had gone almost a whole summer without talking before Eddie had basically groveled for forgiveness outside of Granny Ecker’s trailer before Ronnie left for New York. She had forgiven him enough to let him give her a ride to the airport.
“Last time?” He’d asked.
“Last time.” She’d repeated.
“So why didn’t you shack up with her tonight?” Ronnie asked. “You got her into your van, and you dropped her off like a gentleman.”
“I don’t know, I panicked.” Eddie sighed, bonking his head against the fridge a few times. “She was right there, and she was leaning in and all I saw was Paige leaning in-”
“You know not every girl who shares your taste in music is Paige, right?” Eddie could practically see Ronnie rolling her eyes on the other end of the line.
“Any girl that shares my taste in music ends up fucking off to the opposite end of the country.”
This made Ronnie laugh. “You’re an idiot. Paige fucked off back to her job and I fucked off to college.”
“Fucking off is fucking off.”
“Maybe you need to fuck off.”
“I tried, remember?”
She remembered. Both of them remembered.
“Look, stop being a dipshit.” Ronnie said after a moment of awkward silence. “You’re graduating this year, right?”
“Uhhh...”
“Eddie.”
“Yeah, yeah I’m working on it. I just need those last stupid two classes and then I’m home free.” Eddie confirmed.
“You can’t stay in high school forever.” Ronnie said. “And you’re gonna realize that there’s life outside of Hawkins. Have you even talked to Paige since then?”
He hadn’t, and they both knew it. Eddie gave up two months after she’d bailed him out of jail. Two months of dead air silence. He got the hint.
“No.”
“Then stop worrying about one girl from over two years ago!” Eddie could feel the phantom pain of Ronnie punching him in the arm like she always used to. “Get laid and graduate, Munson. You earned it.”
Eddie snorted, sliding down the fridge to sit on the cool floor. “Is that the only advice you got for me, Ecker?”
“It’s the only advice you need. Did you pass that test last week?” Ronnie asked.
“By the skin of my teeth.” Eddie sighed, leaning his head back against the fridge.
“Your new girl graduated, maybe she can help you study.”
“She’s not my girl. She’s a girl that I’ve met a handful of times-”
“That’s turning your brain to mush.”
“She doesn’t even know who I am, Ronnie.” He fiddled with the chord in his hand, watching the spiral wind and unwind around his fingers. It was already stretched out pretty bad, with a few spirals already tangled beyond repair like his old slinky from when he was a kid.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Ronnie asked. “She doesn’t know you, that means she doesn’t feed into the bullshit of the rumor mill.”
Ronnie had a point and he hated it, but that’s why he called her to begin with. Ronnie was the only person who could cut through his Munson bullshit and give it to him straight. He missed it. As much as he enjoyed the power he had to protect his little lost sheepies, they were all too intimidated to actually stand up to him and call him out the way that Ronnie would.
“Yeah, you’re right. As usual.” Eddie could hear her snort and he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “So why the hell are you even awake right now? Up til 2 am on a school night, Ecker?”
“It’s barely past midnight, the time zone isn’t that off. I was studying for a test, but hearing you complain about your love life is a far more productive use of my time.”
“You’re using me to slack off, aren’t you?”
“If I have to look at my flashcards one more time tonight my eyes are gonna go square. How’s Granny doing?”
“She’s an empty nester and is determined to turn me into her replacement grandson until you visit again.” Eddie shook his head. “She threatened to give me a haircut the last time she dropped off a plate for Wayne.”
Ronnie had come back to visit a grand total of five times since she’d left, returning for holidays and summers to visit Granny Ecker and by extension Eddie. Each time she’d come back with stories of law school and how different New York is.
It seemed impossible, everything that Ronnie had told him about going to college and about life outside their small town. She was playing Dungeons and Dragons still, having found a group that would play with her. According to her, being a rules lawyer for the game at a law school hit way different than it had their small Hellfire group in high school. No one even cared that they played outside of a few students who had better things to do than enact violence against a few nerds.
Then again, in law school everyone was some sort of nerd. Eddie wondered if even a freak would be accepted there. Well, socially at least. He wasn’t delusional enough to think he’d be able to be accepted into law school with his grades. Ronnie had invited him up to visit a few times, but there was never time or money to do it.
The two continued talking for another hour, catching up until Ronnie was scolding him for staying up so late on a school night.
“Yeah? And what’s your excuse?” Eddie said. “It’s almost 4:20 am there.”
“Ha. Ha. Again, ha.” Ronnie said. “Still not how timezones work. And my first class doesn’t start until noon.”
Right. In college you didn’t have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn every day.
“Night, Ecker.”
“Night, Munson. Graduate and get laid.”
“Does it matter the order?”
“Good night, Eddie.”
Talking to Ronnie had eased his nerves, but there was still something inside that wouldn’t let him lay down and go to sleep. It was late now, way later than he intended to stay up tonight. The night he played at the Hideout always had him up late, and his teacher already considered him more useless than usual on Wednesdays. It’s not like anyone would care if he slept in class, unless they were in a particularly foul mood.
He made his way to a stack of books in his room rummaging through a pile or two until he found what he was looking for. Eddie’s copy of Lord of the RIngs was well loved at best, and completely trashed at worst. The cover of the paperback was nearly torn off, taped back together haphazardly over the years. Pages were dogeared, the spine was cracked, notes were scribbled in the margins, and his name was scribbled in messy cursive on the front page declaring that this book belonged to Eddie Munson and that he was in third grade.
Eddie stripped out of most of his clothes, tossing his jewelry on his nightstand, and hopped into bed. He turned on a small lamp and opened the book. He could probably recite the first chapter from memory if he tried, the words on the page a comfortable lullabye for his wound up mind. But tonight he flipped to a page near the end where his bookmark was. The flower made out of blue construction paper wasn’t nearly as old as the book, and only in better shape because it never left the safe pages of Tolkein’s writing.
His eyes glanced at his arm again, your phone number a temporary tattoo on his skin until it washed off. Shit, it was going to wash off eventually. Eddie grabbed a pen from under his bed and added another scribble to the inside of the book before copying your number carefully onto the paper flower. At least this way he’d always know where it was.
With that aside, Eddie didn’t make it through three pages of his book before he passed out with the light still on.
Fall Semester, 1984
The PrinciPAL’s office was just as interesting and inviting as it always was, which is to say not at all. Eddie was slumped back on a chair, watching as Janice sorted through paperwork, pretending to look busy so that she could avoid any small talk with ‘that Munson boy’. He had been waiting for Higgin’s to show up for almost fifteen minutes now, because why shouldn’t he waste Eddie’s time at this point? The worst that was going to happen today is that they’d do their little song and dance, Eddie would plead his case that the flyers were absolutely serious and that Chris Morrison had every intent to run for student council, and that it was all of the club that had made the posters, Higgins would shake his head and not believe Eddie for a second (which to be fair, this would be the first time that Eddie would admit privately that it was his fault), they’d go back and forth until Eddie got some form of detention or Saturday school.
Honestly, the worst part would be rescheduling Hellfire if he wound up in detention.
Eddie had counted out 13 paper clips that Janice had used in her papershifting before the door to the front office opened up again. He looked up, expecting to see Higgins walk in, ignore him for another five minutes, before Janice would let Eddie go in.
He didn’t expect to see you, pale and shaken, clutching a teacher’s note in your hand. Eddie watched as you handed the note over to Janice who read it, shook her head, and pointed at the chair next to himself. Your eyes never left the floor as you sat next to him, staring at the cheap carpet as if you could somehow burn a hole in it and disappear.
Trouble was no stranger to Eddie, and Eddie was no stranger to trouble. In Hawkins the name ‘Munson’ might as well be in the thesaurus next to the word. This wasn’t his first rodeo, and it would be far from his last as long as Higgins stayed the princiPAL. He’d walk away with a lecture and a sigh and then it would be business as normal.
The look on your face though, that was far from the mild annoyance he felt. You look downright traumatized at the idea of having been sent here. Eddie glanced up at Janice who deigned to make eye contact with him now. Her eyes flicked between the two of you, a disapproving look behind her purple frames as if this was somehow Eddie’s fault that you had ended up here as well. But then, as far as any of the faculty from the office was concerned, even him being enrolled at this school was a death sentence to the rest of the poor student body. Eddie was a disease that they would try to contain until they had the cure to remove him.
The shaking of your knee made your chair (and his chair by proxy) rattle slightly. The quiet of the office and the mundane shuffling of Janice’s papers only added to the tension that was radiating off you.
“Janice, is Higgin’s gonna be long?” Eddie finally asked, and your bouncing knee stopped for just a moment before going back to its nervous movement.
“He’s in a very important meeting.” Came the reply over a stack of papers, still not looking at Eddie.
He sighed again and looked over at you, trying to place where he knew your face. Your eyes were a bit red, and you looked like you were on the verge of crying. Shit, he needed to do something before he had to ask Janice for the tissue box.
“First time?” Eddie asked, and when you didn’t respond he nudged your knee with his.
You jumped slightly, head snapping up. It was a wonder you didn’t give yourself whiplash and it would have been almost funny to Eddie had you not looked like a deer in the headlights looking at him.
“I... Huh?” your voice cracked slightly.
“What are ya in for?” Eddie did his best to give you a smile which he was sure made him look more like a serial killer than a comfort. It was rare he wished that he had his dad’s smile, but in cases like this he’d make an exception.
You looked at the paper in your hand and swallowed. “Uh... skipped.”
“Skipped school or just class?” Eddie prompted, trying to get you to talk more. If you were talking, then you weren’t crying. That’s what he hoped at least.
“Class.” He didn’t think you’d say anymore but you surprised him. “US History.” Eddie caught the way your eyes darted to Janice again as if to make sure she wasn’t listening in, but Janice had better things to do than to eavesdrop on two delinquents. “I wasn’t... I had a bad day. I'm having a bad day. I felt like I was going to explode and I went to the library.”
Eddie nodded, wondering what had happened today that made you need to duck out. It wasn’t his business, and frankly Higgin’s was going to grill you enough as it was.
“Rookie mistake.” He said instead.
“Rookie...?”
Eddie kept his voice low and leaned in closer to you as if telling you a secret. “If you’re gonna skip, you can’t go to the library. You might as well have walked into the teacher’s lounge and announced that you were cutting class.”
You let out a sharp breath that he swore counted for a laugh. “Thanks for the heads up, can you tell me that a few hours ago?”
There was color returning to your face now and Eddie kept going. His brown eyes scanned your face, trying to place where he knew you from. Hawkins was a small town, and there was nothing about you that screamed ‘I’m new!’.
He liked your sarcasm though, and his ‘comforting’ grin shifted into a genuine smile. “If you’re gonna ditch, you need to go to the bathroom or go outside.” He said. “Especially for last period. Go hide outside in the woods and you can slip into the parking lot seamlessly without anyone noticing. By the end of the day the teachers are barely taking attendance anyway.”
“Have you been in the girls rooms here?” you asked, shaking your head. “I think I’d rather take my chances here than stay in there longer than I’d have to.” Eddie wasn’t sure if you were trying to make a joke or if you were serious.
“Would you rather hide in the boys room?” he asked. “I swear it only smells like piss almost all of the time and you’d end up in the splash zone even if you were in a stall.”
That got a laugh out of you, a genuine one. Your shoulders were relaxing and you looked down at the paper again and took a deep breath that you exhaled with a sigh.
“I’ve never been in trouble before.” you said, your hands starting to bend and fold the paper on your lap absently. “I’m not good at being in trouble.”
“Well, lucky for you I’m here.” Eddie nudged your knee again with his. “Being in trouble is kind of my job here at Hawkin’s High. I’m a professional, you know. If I wasn’t here taking up all of Principal Higgin’s time he might have to actually do his job.”
That last part was louder, as he directed it to Janice who refused to take the bait and only reached for her lilac stapler instead.
A small smack on his arm drew his attention back to you, you were smiling at him looking astonished. “You’re gonna get us in trouble!” you whispered at him.
“We’re already in trouble.” Eddie reminded you, his smile never fading. “Look, you’ve never been in trouble before, right? You’re gonna be fine. Just give him a good sob story about being overwhelmed with school, or about a sick pet. If you can squeeze out some tears that’s even better. The worst that he’s gonna do is give you a slap on the wrist and maybe detention if he’s in a shit mood”
You take in his words, listening to him carefully and taking in every word he was saying as if this was life or death. Eddie admittedly, had purposefully slipped into his Dungeon Master voice. It was a skill that normally only worked on his little sheepies in his club, and that was after semesters of training his players to listen and pay attention to his words or else it would be life or death for their characters.
Having someone else listen to him like that? It felt really good.
Your mouth started to open to say something but then the office door opened again and Higgin’s stepped in, nodding to Janice and then looking at the two of you. There was an accusatory look in his eyes as he made eye contact with Eddie again, and it was clear what that look said. Leave her alone, don’t make things worse for her than they already are.
“Munson.” Higgins said and it took everything in him to stay still and not flinch at his last name. He was used to the weight that came with his name, but he hadn’t wanted you to know who he was. Not after he just remembered where he knew you from, glancing down at the note that you had folded into a flower in a fit of nerves.
“I heard you missed me, Sir.” Eddie forced his eyes to meet Higgin’s. “You really should just start saying hi in the hallways instead of inviting me to these little chats every week. You’re taking away valuable learning time from me, you know.”
If the two of them had been alone, Higgins would have snapped back at Eddie about being a smartass. But you were there, and the color had drained from your face again, and there was a shine to your eyes that was threatening to spill over your waterline. Higgins looked at you and motioned for you to follow him into his office.
Eddie wished that you would turn and look at him before disappearing into the PrincePAL’s office. He could imagine you turning to look at him for comfort, he’d give you a smile that would put you at ease and a thumbs up. You’d give him another smile and walk in feeling brave.
Instead it was like you forgot he was there as your figure disappeared behind the heavy wood door that shut with a heavy click.
Of course Higgins had you come in first, even though Eddie had already been sitting here since the beginning of the period when he’d been called in.
He was tempted to go over to the door and press his ear up against it to listen in on what he was saying to you but even Janice would scold him for that. So there Eddie sat for another ten minutes as he waited for you to step out again.
Higgin’s was the one to open the door and let you out of the office, as if he were some gentleman instead of Eddie’s own personal warden five days a week. You walked out and to Eddie’s surprise you gave him a nod and mouthed thank you as you slipped back out the door and into the hallway.
Eddie’s eyes followed you until he couldn’t see you anymore and it took Higgin’s standing in front of him with folded arms and saying his full government name for Eddie to snap back to reality.
“Munson. A word about your little flyers?”
“Well, I’d say a picture is worth a thousand words-”
“In my office.”
Eddie didn’t remember much else about that talk, only remembering the white paper flower that had been carelessly tossed into the trash next to Higgin’s desk.
“He still hasn’t called you?” Steve asked as you, him, and Robin continued your closing routine. The day had been busy, with almost everyone in Hawkins coming to rent a movie for the weekend. Robin was stocking the candy while you wiped down the sticky counter where children had been touching all day. Who’s idea was it to leave out free suckers on the counter anyway?
Oh right, that was your idea because you loved Halloween.
“Nope.” you said, your voice a little tense. It had been almost two weeks since that night at the Hideout. You hadn’t returned to the dive bar, hoping that Eddie would call you and make the next move. Each passing day you had stayed as close to the phone as possible when you were home and you’d checked your voicemail every day when you got home for any sign that he’d attempted to reach out.
Nothing.
You shouldn’t feel this rejected but you did. It was far too early to tell if you had any feelings beyond initial attraction to the guy, but... you’d felt something. An enjoyment of bantering with him and an ease that came as naturally as your friendship with Robin and Steve.
Plus, you had to admit it, he was really fucking hot. Seeing him play guitar two weeks ago had haunted your dreams and slipped into a few of your fantasies when you were alone.
You kept that part to yourself though, that was the last thing that Steve or Robin needed to hear. Besides, that was Steve’s job to go far too into detail about his sex life. Steve had tried ribbing you about going home with Eddie but you’d told him that you were a complete gentleman with him.
That night had left you feeling electrified, almost high as you danced around your room as you got ready for bed. Even as his odd parting rattled around your brain, you couldn’t help but to feel excited at the idea of seeing him again.
Then a few days went by. Then a week. And now two weeks later you hadn’t heard from him. The kids hadn’t stopped by either so you couldn’t hassle them about Eddie either. Even if they had, you weren’t sure if you could ask about him, you didn’t want to come across as desperate.
“Did you ever figure out what he meant by ‘five times?’” Robin asked, opening up a squished package of Reese's Cups. “Like, didn’t you say you didn’t know him?”
You threw your hands up before tossing the paper towels you were using to clean in the trash can.
“I have no idea.” you said. “Either I’m bad at math, he’s bad at math, or maybe we’re both stupid.”
“He did get held back a few times.” Steve muttered to himself.
“There’s a chance that you two have met before though.” said Robin, “I mean think about it, you’re both weirdos who went to the same school. Shouldn’t you both have bumped into each other before?”
“You’d think so, but my group kind of kept to ourselves.” you said with a sigh. “We were private weirdos. When I DID try and make other friends-”
“Yeah, yeah, Chris Morrison shot you down.” Steve said, waving his hand.
“Oh, you heard that story?” you laughed. “I didn’t think I mentioned it to you before.”
Steve gave you a blank stare that only made you laugh more. “I swear you keep talking about that guy more than Eddie. Maybe I should track him down and set you up on a blind date with him instead.”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Hey, that could be fun!” Robin added. “We’ll dress you up super hot, set you up with Chris, and then you can turn him down instead!”
“Excuse you, Robin. I am always super hot.” you declared, straightening out your unflattering Family Video vest. “Who wouldn’t want a piece of this?”
You hadn’t done laundry in a week, and your hair had seen better days. The green polyester vest was wrinkled and if Keith saw you looking sloppy he’d probably have words about it. Not big words or even intimidating words, but words nonetheless. It was night and day compared to how you’d looked at the Hideout and the arcade earlier in the month. But it wasn’t like you had anyone to impress while you were at work anyway.
“Hey, nerdy chicks can be hot.” Steve said. “I mean, Nancy’s an academic nerd and I was crazy about her.”
You hummed thoughtfully and turned to Robin. “How about we get married instead?” you asked. “You, me, a fuck ton of cats, and a tax break. What do you say?”
Robin laughed and shook her head. “You aren’t my type.” Her eyes darted nervously to Steve for a split second and you sighed dramatically.
“Guess it’s just me and the cats I’ll eventually adopt.” you said. “Not even a tax break.”
“You know, Keith thinks you’re cute-”
“I am going to pretend that you did not just say that, Harrington.” you said firmly. “Nope, not happening. Uh-uh. Absolutely not.”
“He’s not... that bad?” Robin said, but you could hear the pain in her voice through the laughter. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”
“The lady is trying not to think actually.” you laugh. “We’re closed, I’m actually done thinking. I just wanna finish cleaning up and go home. What’s left?”
“Rewinding the returns,-”
“Ugh.”
“Cleaning up the kids movies,-”
“Ugh.”
“And cleaning the bathroom.”
“UGHHHHHH.”
“Would you rather clean up the porn room?” asked Robin.
“Yes actually, I would.” You said. “Whatever they think about doing in that room is what they do end up doing in the bathroom.”
“Gross.”
Steve sighed “Okay, I’ll be the hero and save you ladies from cleaning the bathroom. Robin, you fix the kids section, and you can rewind the tapes.”
“I thought I was in charge here.” You crossed your arms.
“Okay, did you have a better way to divide and conquer?”
“...No.”
“Then let’s hurry up and-”
Ding!
“Who didn’t lock the door?!” you asked.
“It was Steve’s job to-” Robin started.
“Oh, shit. Hi.” Steve was staring at the person who had just walked in. You turned around and your heart jumped in your chest and your stomach dropped.
“Cursing in front of customers, Harrington?” Eddie said. “Now that’s not very professional of you.”
Robin’s eyes were darting so fast between you and Eddie that you were surprised she wasn’t giving herself vertigo. You tried to give her a pointed glare but your friend either didn’t get the hint or refused to.
“Well, we’re closed. You can’t be a customer if you can’t pay.” Steve said, putting his hands on his hips.
Eddie looked away from Steve and made eye contact with you. It had been two weeks since you’d seen him, and you glazed at his arm for a second, trying to see if the faded remains of your phone number were still stamped on his arm. Unfortunately for you he was wearing a heavy leather jacket and you had not yet developed x ray vision. Perhaps in another genre.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Eddie asked and you, ignoring Steve who looked mildly offended.
You stood there in shock for a second before Robin nudged you in the rib.
“I- uh. I have to finish closing.” you said, snapping out of it.
“Steve and I can handle the rest of closing!” Robin grabbed Steve and shook his shoulder.
“Guys, I’m literally in charge of you both. I can’t leave before you.” You said, already reaching for your bag under the counter.
“We can handle it!” Steve said.
“And I can handle Steve!” Robin added. “We close without you and Keith all the time, remember?”
You could trust Robin, and as long as Steve didn’t knock down any displays then it wouldn’t take them more than another ten minutes to finish up. You were so tempted to turn them down, make Eddie wait as you had waited for him for the past two weeks.
But you were already stepping behind the counter towards Eddie and tossing the keys to lock up to Robin. Keith would murder you and write you up (in that order) if he knew what you were doing but looking up at the roundest pair of brown eyes you’d ever seen had you in the mood to make questionable choices.
You shrugged off your vest and tossed it at Steve, in an attempt to make yourself look like you hadn’t spent the whole day dealing with unruly customers and screaming kids. Part of you almost wished that you had agreed to bathroom duty, if only to give you an excuse to look in a mirror and straighten yourself out.
“Thanks, guys.” you gave them a quick nod, catching sight of Robin’s knowing smirk and Steve shaking his head before walking out the door that Eddie was holding open for you.
The last thing you heard was the scrambling of the entrance to Family Video being locked.
Part 7
Dividers by @strangergraphics
Please comment and reblog <3
Tag List: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirly93 @perpetualmess @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh @halialex1119 @bakugouswhOr3
370 notes
·
View notes
Text
[ENG SUB] Joker Out at Radio Antena (18.07.2024)
Jan, Kris, Nace and Jure were interviewed by a radio host Jaka Peterka for Radio Antena. They talked about who needs to retake their driver's license exam, Kiki, the PR genius and what it takes to cross the pond.
youtube
Transcription by a member of JokerOutSubs, translation by drumbeat and @chaosofsmarty, proofread by @flowerlotus8, subtitles by a member of JokerOutSubs
Full Transcript below 👇
And in the studio, the boys who, in the last year, visited more countries through concerts, than I've ever been to on Google Maps. They hold the title for the most streamed song in Slovenia ever, Carpe Diem. They've sold out Stožice, this year we can see them all across Europe on their summer tour. Jan, Kris, Jure and Nace from Joker Out, Good morning!
All: Good morning!
Wait, is Bojan sick, or what's happened?
Kris: Bojan is missing, he wasn't feeling well. And we've got a concert this weekend and… So he had to…
He has to rest a bit.
Kris: Yes.
Have you brought anything?
Jure: A good mood.
Kris: A new song.
A new song, that's true, because we'll hear it later. And this time in Croatian.
A ja samo čekam i žudim
But I'm just waiting for and craving
Za trenutkom kad ćeš zvati
The moment when you'll call
Da ti kažem da za tobom plače.
To tell you that, because of you, my heart cries,
Kris: What?
tuguje i pati
grieves and suffers
We'll hear it later, we'll also find out where you'll be in the upcoming days, or on your summer European tour. And we'll also find out why and which of these boys, here in the studio, should attend a safe driving training.
We'll check. Hey I'll just start with the question, which one of you recently "enhanced their car a bit", in quotation marks, somewhere near here?
Nace: That was me.
That was you, Nace?
Nace: That was me, yes.
Really? What happened?
Nace: Someone bumped into me in a parking lot.
Really in a parking lot? Ah, okay.
Jure: No, it's understandable then.
Nace: I don't need to do a safe driving training here.
No, no, then you really don't.
Kris: Safe parking training.
Nace: Take that back.
Take it back? Alright, so be it. Hey, it's a minute past nine, Jaka Peterka with you on Antena. And the boys, who this year have concerts all over Europe, at all the biggest festivals. Joker Out, without Bojči here, because he got sick. We'll also hear your new single later, 'Šta bih ja', the boys have told me, isn't in Croatian, but in Serbian, right?
Nace: Correct.
Kris: Yes.
But first of all, a small thing, like we're used to at Antena, "Who's most likely to". Pay attention. Who's most likely to have to redo their driving licence courses?
Jure: Jan.
Jan?
Jan: I mean, Nace here has a scratch on his car, so I don't know.
Nace: I mean, yours has also undergone repairs.
Jure: Yours also isn't much better.
Who's most likely to be the most successful at their job, if Joker Out didn't exist?
Kris: Jure would be quite successful at his job as a cameraman. Of course.
What, as a cameraman?
Jure: Yeah, I was a cinematographer.
Really?
Jure: For RTV.
Ah, alright, so the rest of you…
Kris: I mean, I'd be successful, but I don't think I'd be happy.
Jan: The rest of us haven't even had jobs yet.
Okay, moving on. Who's most likely to get married first?
Jure: Bojan.
Bojan?
Jan: Bojan.
Okay. Who's most likely to arrive late to a concert or on stage?
All: Jan.
Jan? Jan!
Jan: Again, Kris was late today, almost.
They were quite on time, I've got to give them praise for that. Who's most likely to go to bed immediately after a concert?
Jure: Kris.
Jan: Kris and Nace.
Kris: Bojči.
Nace, your age is showing, right?
Nace: It would be Kris and I, we go to bed at a similar time.
Jan: Kris and Nace.
Jure: And watch a movie together, eh?
4 minutes past 9, joining me… Jan, stop turning the computer on, you won't be playing games.
Jan: We did the last time.
There's still a Slovenian band on the Antena radio, which, on the one hand, has long ceased to be just that, given that we can see them next to the biggest artists all over Europe. For example, at the recent Exit Festival they performed right before the Black Eyed Peas. Joker Out, good morning again. Now, despite the fact that you have a massive fanbase all over Europe, you still stick pretty much to the Slovene language and some Croatian or Serbian as well. How come?
Kris: Yes, we feel like working in the language that comes naturally. I mean, it just depends on how things turn out, it mostly depends on Bojči, and the language he can feel the lyrics in. At that moment, we felt like making a Serbian song on the upcoming album there will be a couple of those as well as Slovenian.
That's awesome.
Kris: So it comes naturally. In English, we've already done a few, and we will do some more.
Well, because five days ago you released a brand new single, 'Šta bih ja'.
A ja samo čekam i žudim
But I'm just waiting for and craving
Za trenutkom kad ćeš zvati
The moment when you'll call
Da ti kažem da za tobom plače.
To tell you that, because of you, my heart cries,
Yes, well, I have to say that I find it interesting that they have… Even before it was released, there were people singing it at your concerts. I mean, all over Europe, right. How come? What, you already had it on your setlist? Nace?
tuguje i pati
grieves and suffers
Nace: Probably because for the whole tour what, in March we've been playing it and that's how they would have picked it up.
Jure: And we have one great story about when…
Nace: Yeah, basically, on the first concert of this tour, right, Bojan didn't know the exact lyrics exactly yet and he gave our roadie, Kiki, the lyrics on A4 format paper, it was just…
Kris: The chorus.
Nace: The chorus, yes. And he's like, "Did you manage to hang it?" "I did, I did." And then, just like that, when Bojan comes on stage, we start the song, and the lyrics, he can't find them. "Kiki, where are the lyrics?" "What? On the monitor!" But he hung it for people to read. Not for him. And basically, the fans all thought that this was some kind of a PR stunt. That we'd done it on purpose.
That was good fun.
Nace: It turned out great. Yeah, awesome.
And then what, people have been posting it on YouTube probably.
Nace: They took pictures.
Kris: Yes, yes, yes.
Damn, that's nice. Now we can see you all over Europe until the middle of August, this Saturday in Germany, actually, at the Deichbrand festival, if I've got that right. But do you know what I was wondering about? At the moment, in fact, you're crushing it in Europe. Are you tempted to hop across the pond?
Kris: Yes.
Any plans, actually, well?
Kris: Yeah, there are no really definite plans, because it is very difficult to travel across the pond. Mostly because for one single concert you need to get a full visa for a whole year, so…
Is that so?
Kris: Yes, and it's very hard to justify the expenses. We have to give it some thought, on how to approach this, so it makes sense. But yes, we do, and we know we have some fans in New York and Toronto, so we could also play something there.
Cool. What about, let's say, our parts? Slovenia maybe? I mean, you've already been, I know, this year to Ptuj, right? But, are there more plans for this year or maybe…?
Jan: There are also plans to see you again on local stages, yes.
This year?
Jan: This year.
Jure: This year, after the release of the album.
After the release, nice. And the album's coming out…?
Jure: September, October, if all goes well.
Okay, fingers crossed. Anyway, you can hear Joker Out and 'Šta bih ja', on Antena right now. Guys, thank you for coming.
All: Thank you.
I believe we might see each other very quickly even in the prime time on Rock am Ring. Or somewhere similar. Fingers crossed, well, mostly so that… Thank you for coming, say hello to Bojči. And this is Joker Out with 'Šta bih ja'.
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Our Precious Gem | Possessive!Bully! Tomura, Touya, and Kai x Reader
Chapter 4
~~~~~~~~~~
Tomura, Touya, and Kai have noticed a change in your behavior ever since you guys started back to school after summer break. It was just settle things at first like always being in a hurry and being so quick to leave school like you needed to be somewhere at a certain time. They never bothered keeping tabs on you outside of school so they know nothing about what is going on in your home life, it was just something that they never thought to bother with. They keep an eye on you at school to keep you in check and everybody knows better than to mess with you, even outside of school no one would dare try anything with you unless they have a death wish.
So when your behavior starts changing more and more, when you start looking sad and depressed at times, they start suspecting that someone is messing with you. Is someone else bullying you? They ask around school only to find that no one has been messing with you, they start checking around town only to get the same answers, no one is messing with you and no one is bullying you. But you're not being sad and depressed for no reason.
They question you about it but you just brush it off as being tired or a little drained from the school work. They stop questioning you and act nonchalantly like they don't care, but on the inside, they are boiling because you won't tell them what is happening. Your mood shift has been becoming more evident since you guys got back from winter break, not just your mood but the way you move your body like you're always hurting.
You're in the last two weeks of the school year and there's one last group project that the history teacher wants you guys to do and, as usual, you have to do it on your own because Tomura, Touya, and Kai don't want to help, as well as doing their homework along with your own, as well as getting the answers for the tests for them so they can pass. Between having to do all that and working a seven-hour shift after school almost every day, you haven't been getting too much sleep this week and you're getting so fed up with those three.
And one day you just snapped…
"How's it coming on our project?" Touya asked as you guys walked through the hallway toward history class.
You stopped walking and gritted your teeth, "Our project?" You hissed through gritted teeth as you glared at them, they stopped walking and looked at you. "If it's our project then how about you three get off your lazy asses and help me with it!" They were taken aback by your sudden outburst, you were always the calm one.
You dig into your bag and bring out their homework and throw it at them, "Do your own fucking homework and stop relying on me to do it all the damn time!" You bring out the test answers you got for them and ripped them up, "And I'm done with giving you the test answers to help you pass, fucking study for once and pass the tests the way everyone else is! Now take your homework and this 'group project' and shove them all up your asses! And on the last note, JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!! I am so sick and tired of dealing with you fucking assholes all the fucking time!!"
You walk past them as they stand there looking stunned, but you quickly turn around and give them two middle fingers, "Fuck all three of you!" You then turn around and walk to your class, leaving Tomura, Touya, and Kai standing in the hallway looking dumbfounded. Where the hell did you get this newfound courage from?
The three boys look at each other as their minds try to process what just happened. Did you just cuss them out? Touya moved his bag to cover his crotch and conceal the boner you gave him, "That was really hot. We need to get her to cuss like that more often."
Once they were over their initial shock, Kai and Tomura picked up their homework and stormed off after you. Touya chuckled as he picked up his homework and followed them, he wanted to be mad at you as well but he was too turned on to be mad.
You sat down at your table feeling nervous, you already calmed down after your outburst and you're scared of what they're gonna do to you for it. You see Kai and Tomura come storming into the classroom and you feel like you're gonna throw up. Tomura walks up behind you and grabs your hair, yanking your head back as he places a hand on the table and hovers over you with his face an inch away from yours.
"I don't know where that came from but don't do it again. Fuck all three of you? You really should be careful what you say or you might end up having all three of us fucking you mercilessly. We will discuss this after class." He releases your hair and takes his seat on the other side of Kai who is sitting next to you.
You rubbed your head as his words ran through your mind, your heart raced at just the thought of it. But it was just an empty threat, right? They're not even attracted to you, they only like to torment you for some reason. Touya comes over to sit next to you as he tries his best to calm his boner. Your eyes widen at the sight before quickly averting your gaze to somewhere else as your cheeks turn red, you've never seen a boner before.
"We know that something is going on with you and we're going to get to the bottom of it today," Kai hissed through his teeth, he was practically seething. "We're getting tired of playing this game with you." Touya doesn't say anything because he's too busy trying to think of stuff that's a turn-off for him so he can get his boner down, he manages to get it to go down just as class starts.
It's not long after class starts that the tiredness and exhaustion come crashing down on you and you start dozing off. You tried to fight it but your body relaxed, your eyes closed, and your heart rate and breathing started slowing down as you drifted off to sleep. You can't stop it, your body needs the sleep. Your head was lying on your left arm and you ended up leaning into Kai as you fell asleep, with your head partially laying on his arm, while your right arm brushed up against Touya's arm, your hand leaning against his hand.
They both looked over at you when they felt the contact, they were surprised at first until they saw that you were asleep. Kai leaned over a bit to look at your face before glancing up at Touya, "Is she asleep?" He whispered.
Touya nodded, "Yeah, she's asleep." He brings out his phone and takes a picture of your sleeping form, you look so peaceful and angelic, it's an image he wants to keep forever. He hands his phone over to Kai so he and Tomura can look at the picture. Their hearts flutter at the sight, you're so beautiful no matter what you do.
Kai hands the phone back to Touya and all three of them look at you before looking at each other, the question still lingering in their minds. Why are you so tired that you fell asleep in class? Sure, you have to do their homework along with your own and you have to work on the project by yourself, but if you go straight home after school and start working on the stuff you have plenty of time to get the stuff done and still get a good night's sleep.
They never thought to keep tabs on your home life, but now they're thinking that maybe they should. Whatever is going on with you has nothing to do with school, they already deduced that it's something outside of school. Is something going on at home? They know nothing about your home life, they don't know about your mom leaving and living in the other part of town, they don't know about your dad drinking all the time and getting violent, or that he had an accident during summer break making you have to work to support the two of you.
Kai wants to be mean and wake you up, he wants to deprive you of your little nap as punishment for your actions earlier, but the look on your face flashes through his mind. That look you had on your face while you were going off on them, the tear that ran down your cheek that you quickly wiped away, they noticed it. You looked so stressed out and overwhelmed, you looked like you had reached your limit and couldn't take anymore. The look on your face tugged at Kai's heart and he let you be.
That look you had plagued all of their minds and they felt the urge to protect you grow even stronger, the concern for your well-being was beginning to overtake them as they looked at your sleeping form. Kai leans more against you and lets you rest your head on his arm while his other hand starts running through your hair. Touya carefully rubs his hand against yours, running his fingers between your fingers, before running a finger across the middle of your palm. He lazily traces the lines in your palm as he pays attention to the teacher. All three of them pay closer attention to the teacher so they can go over the lesson with you later when you wake up.
~~~~~~
There was more I wanted to add to this chapter but it was getting pretty long as it is, so the rest of the idea I had for this chapter will have to go into the next chapter. lol
#fanfic#my hero academia#mha#tomura shigaraki#touya todoroki#kai chisaki#dabi#overhaul#reader#x reader#reader insert#tomura x reader#kai x reader#touya x reader#dabi x reader#overhaul x reader#possessiveness#reverse harem#romance
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chaos from the Stars Ch. 2
okay so I genuinely really enjoyed writing the first chapter :]
I'm gonna keep going. I don't expect it to get super popular or anything, this is mostly for me since I never see anything with just the Ravagers, let alone Stakar's crew
I am doing research on some of these characters, mainly Stakar's group, that's how I found out Krugarr's mouth was in his chest
>Blood/ minor injury warning toward the end<
A/N: This chapter is kind of long and slow, I'm so sorry. It's so mundane, I'll do better in the next chapter
Previous | Next
By the time you woke up, you figured it had all been a weird dream. It was too absurd not to be.
So you sat up, swung your feet off the bed and stretched. Checking the clock, you found that you slept in past 10 am, which was late.. You were supposed to be at work.
Shit.
Maybe you could call in sick.. You pulled on a pair of socks, grabbed a robe, and went to leave your room, only to find that you had locked the door..
But door shouldn't be locked if what happened was a dream.
You unlocked the door and crept out into the livingroom, your stomach dropping when you found Krugarr sitting on the couch, holding one of your books and flipping through the pages. You didn't think he was actually reading it, more just fascinated with the object, but at least he was being gentle with the pages.
He noticed you standing in the hall and greeted you with a nod.
You nodded back partially out of shock that he was real, and turned into the kitchen, arriving just in time to see the woman from last night storming out and back to the guest room. Stakar sat down at the kitchen table, seemingly unbothered and used to this.
He caught sight of you and nodded. "Morning."
"Morning.." you answered back, "Uh.. Is she okay? Something wrong?" you asked, partially worried that maybe it was something about the room or house. Maybe something you could fix.
He shook his head. "No, no, she's always like that. Part of what drew me in actually." He smiled.
"You're together then?" You asked, pouring a cup of coffee. It was cold now, since you made it at 4 am that morning and it sat for six hours, but you didn't mind heating it back up.
"Married for a couple hundred years and still going strong." He nodded.
"Hundred? I'm sorry, I thought you two were human," you turned and looked at him, leaning against the counter, "Are you not?"
"Aleta is Arcturan. I'm sort of humanish, but not really. I was raised Arcturan though."
"That's.. so unbelievably vague.." you muttered. You looked up at him and then out the window toward the barn, then back to him. "Are you hungry? I can make breakfast. A little late in the morning, but you've got to be hungry after a space battle and crashing your ships."
Stakar's brow furrowed, his lips almost tugging into a frown. "Who told you about that?"
Shit, were you not supposed to know about that? Would you get in trouble? Surely not, but.. Would Kraglin get in trouble for telling you? Was that not your business?
"Uh, Kraglin did.. I think he's one of.. what was his name.. Yon- He's one of Yondu's men.. Is that okay, if I know about that?" you asked, slightly worried.
He shook his head and sat back in the kitchen chair, the wood creaking under him. "It's fine, I was just confused how you knew that.. Yeah, I could go for something, I haven't had Terran food in ages. Do you mind making a little extra, for my wife?"
You nodded, thinking it was sweet he wanted to get her something as well. "Of course. How's eggs sound?" you asked, opening the fridge door and pulling a carton out. That was when you started to smell something fowl.
At first you sniffed the carton in your hand, but that wasn't it. You sniffed the air, nose scrunched, and it lead you to the door that lead outside.
You slid open the glass door, only to be startled by a man stumbling back, equally as startled, muttering out apology after apology as if he had been caught doing something.
Stunned, you stepped out onto the back porch, not even setting the eggs down first.
This man was human-like with dreads, and some sort of facial tattoo or marking around his right eye.
You sniffed the air again and finally recognized the scent. Piss.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, the fellas told me to do it away from the barn, I should have just gone to the field, I don't know what I was thinking-" he rambled out, clearly embarrassed at having been caught.. relieving himself on your back deck.
You were starting to catch secondhand embarrassment yourself, so you held up a hand to stop him. "It's fine- .. Uh.."
"Tullk.."
"Tullk.. It's fine. Just- .. Either walk yourself into the woods behind the property, or you can come inside and use the restroom.. I know you're staying in the barn, but I won't treat you like an animal." you joked a little, trying to lighten the mood a little.
God this was fucking awkward.
"You and the other guys want some breakfast?" You offered, changing the subject.
By the way his eyes lit up at the mention of food, you assumed it had been a while since he, or any of them, had eaten. He nodded, and you sent him back to the barn to let the others know.
Then you realized you'd actually have to somehow cook for forty men, and let out a long, irritated sigh.
You barely liked cooking for just yourself.
You headed inside and put the eggs back in the fridge. "Stakar, I'm heading into town, I have to buy more food, please don't let anyone pee on my back porch." you called as you passed through the kitchen and down the hall, slightly amused by his confused and stressed out 'What?'
You got dressed quickly and grabbed the keys, ready to head out before you stopped and realized you didn't know what aliens could or couldn't eat. With a sigh, you turned and jogged out to the barn, where you walked in on some sort of fight going on.
A bald man with a knife was yelling, trying to get at another man with a prosthetic eye who was trying to reach for some sort of gun on his hip. Both men were roughly pulled apart by an extremely large man in a yellow suit, who stopped the fight pretty quickly with a loud booming voice that made even you feel like you were in trouble despite not having done anything.
"ENOUGH! Retch, go take a walk! Give me the knife. Vorker, stay here. Yondu! Get your men under control, there is no reason why I should be the peace keeper down here when you are their captain!"
The bald man, Retch you assume, pushed past you, muttering under his breath. Vorker grumbled and made his way toward the back of the barn where one of the heaters were and sat down.
Movement from the loft caught your attention, as you saw Yondu lean over the railing, pissed.
"Don't you tell me how to lead my men! They woulda been fine if you just let them sort it out themselves. If one of 'em dies, that's on them."
Sensing another argument would break out, you cleared your throat loudly, getting everyone's attention. Kraglin noticeably stood a little straighter, as if embarrassed by the way the crew was behaving.
"I'm heading into town to get food," you started, acting like nothing had happened, "However, I'm not sure what you all can or can't consume. If someone would like to come with me and help me out, that would be appreciated.. Uh.. Preferably someone who won't shoplift or get me in trouble with the store-" a couple men sat back down, "...Or the government, if someone reports seeing aliens." A few more men sat back down.
"I'll go, I can pass as Terran, and I know the crew pretty well." Kraglin said, stepping up. He looked to Yondu, as if silently asking if things would be okay while he was gone, and the captain just nodded back.
"Alright, come with me, my car's out front." You looked past him as he approached and called out, "Please don't kill each other while you're here! I don't really care how you settle things, but I don't want to have to deal with cleaning up blood or getting rid of a body, thanks!"
You heard a few men chuckle and start giving Vorker a hard time as your turned and left with Kraglin, leading him toward the driveway.
You got in the driver's side and turned the car on before realizing Kraglin hadn't gotten in yet. Ducking your head a bit lower to see what he was doing, you saw him standing there, grabbing at the door handle a little before attempting to push it.
When he realized pushing it wouldn't work, he pulled, a little too hard, and startled a little when the door flew open. Flustered, he got in and pulled the door shut. "I've.. the doors-.. We don't have doors like that anywhere else.." He muttered.
Laughing a little, you started to pull out of the driveway, only to notice a dinging sound. You turned to Kraglin, who was looking around for the noise.
"The uh, seat belt. It's behind y- no on your right- above your shoulder there- hold on." You leaned over, grabbed his seat belt, and just clicked it in for him to save time. He cleared his throat and looked out the window self-consciously.
You sat back in your seat and started the journey to the store, turning the radio on. Some 70s song came on, and you didn't miss the way he started to subtly bop his head, apparently knowing the words.
I'm hooked on a feeling..
I'm high on believing..
You wondered how he knew the song if he was from another planet.
-
Getting to the store was easy. Getting into the store was easy. Getting out of the store was what was difficult. At this point, your 'guests' would be eating lunch.
You and Kraglin had been walking around the store for nearly an hour gathering food -mostly meat- for the others, and he kept stopping to read every ingredient on the labels. A good thing, you were sure, but it was taking forever.
You looked down at the cart, filled with various meats, cartons of eggs, gallons of milk, vegetables, a new large pot to cook with, and multiple new sets of silverware and dishes since you knew you didn't have enough back at home.
You sighed. This was going to be expensive.
You noticed people giving Kraglin some odd looks, noticing his Ravager uniform, and pushed the cart in front of him in an attempt to sort of block him a little.
"I don't mean to be rude, but can you hurry just a little bit? You do pass as human, but people are staring. I think they think you're a cop of some kind or maybe a LARPer.." you whispered.
His face screwed in confusion. "The hell is a 'Larper..?'" he muttered, "And I would, but I'm trying to figure out if these are safe for some of the guys," he handed you a can, "They look like fruit, but they're in a can, and the label says it has acid in it."
You looked down at the can and tossed it in the cart. "It's pineapple, sometimes humans store fruit in cans to make it last longer or more convenient to prepare.. And uh.. well the acid is safe for humans to eat.. though I'm not sure about any other races.. I mean I read somewhere that the reason it tingles a little when you eat it is because technically the acid is eating you back in a way..? But it's safe for us, as weird as that sounds."
He tilted his head to think about it, then grabbed a couple more cans, putting them in the cart. "I mean if it's safe for Terrans, it's probably safe for the fellas. I don't say this to be rude or nothin', but Terrans typically are less.. durable than other people."
You didn't take offense to that, but man it was funny hearing him try to phrase it politely.. So you were a little mean about it.
"What do you mean by that?" You asked, biting back a smile.
His eyes widened and he backpedaled. "I-I didn't mean nothin' by it, I just meant.. Well.. Okay, Terrans aren't weak, I'm not sayin' that, I mean, I'm sure there are things that y'all are better than us at-" He rambled on.
He only stopped when he caught sight of your grin and sighed, realizing what you were doing.
"You're so funny." He muttered, sarcastically.
"I am." You laughed, starting to push the cart toward the self check-out before he got the chance to grab anything else. You were on a budget.
-
By the time you got home, it was around noon, so you figured you'd just make lunch instead. It was easier anyway, you'd just make sandwiches and hopefully get someone to help you.
You entered the house, carrying as many bags as you could, Kraglin coming in behind you doing the same.
A couple more Ravagers were inside now, and you could see many more were outside, either in the yard or sitting on the back porch. And luckily no one was fighting.
You locked eyes with Tullk as he came out from the hallway. "Hey, there's still some more bags out in the trunk of my car, do you mind getting them?" you asked.
He nodded and headed past you while you focused on just setting everything down and stocking. Freezer foods first, then fridge-
No room.
"I guess I'll have to use the freezer in the basement.." you said, mostly to yourself. You hated the basement. Not only was it dark and unfinished, but it was creepy. You knew logically it shouldn't be, since you're an adult, but you couldn't help it. You tried not to go down there unless you had to.
"What's this?" A deeper voice asked suddenly.
You turned around to find a man with pale, pinkish-purple, almost scaly skin, golden eyes, and a flat, multi-chambered nose. He looked like if a snake were a person. Brahl, you remembered.
You looked at the can in his hand. "Pineapple," you answered, "it's a type of fruit. It's sweet, but it can also taste sort of.. tingly, I guess? It's good, feel free to open it. Can-opener should he in the-" you stopped as he bit the can open, "... okay, yeah sure.."
You couldn't help but stare a little as he just reached in and grabbed a pineapple ring, putting the whole thing in his mouth. You shook your head and started to grab some of the bags of freezer food to take down to the basement, only to be startled out of it when you heard aggressive coughing.
You whipped around to find Brahl bent over the sink, spitting the pineapple out and frantically turning the sink on to run his tongue under the water.. Water that ran purple after it dripped from his mouth.
Oh god..
You dropped the bags and rushed over to him to see what the problem was, and sure enough, his tongue was bleeding, blistered, and splitting open.
Worried he was having some sort of allergic reaction, you told Kraglin to go find their medic if they had one, and he rushed outside. Turning your attention back to Brahl, you made him look at you.
"Can you breathe?? Is your throat closing up?" You asked.
He shook his head and just spit more blood into the sink. "Fuck.. Fuck, it juth burnth.." he said, though it came out slightly muffled due to the injury.
"Burns?" You questioned. Your eyes widened.. Fuck..
"Oh.. I think I know what happened.. Did you swallow any of the juice?" You asked. He shook his head. You sighed in relief. "Good.. Okay, so uh.. Pineapple is acidic-"
He whipped his head up and glared at you as if you had fed it to him on purpose. You held your hands up in defense. "But it's safe for humans! I didn't think it would do anything to you, I swear!"
He groaned and spit into the sink again, lowering his head under the focet to drink the water.
The back door slid open and Kraglin returned, followed by Yondu and the large man in the yellow suit. It only just now occurred to you how big he really was, as his head almost touched the ceiling, possibly nearing eight feet tall.
"It was the pineapple," you explained quickly, taking a step back to give them some space, "I underestimated how the acids might effect someone who isn't human.. We can eat them just fine, I didn't think it would hurt him."
Yondu nodded, now understanding this wasn't some allergic reaction or emergency. "He'll be fine." he said.
"What?" you started, "But he's-"
The tall man nodded as well. "It'll be painful, but your mouth will heal from that." He turned and eyed you now. "Please be more careful about foods that quite literally have acid in them. I understand Terrans can consume it safely, but many other races cannot, as I'm sure you are aware now."
You felt guilt pooling in your gut now, and looked back at Brahl, who thankfully had stopped spitting blood, but was now urgently downing a glass of water, having found the cups.
"I'm sorry." you said.
"Nah, this falls on me, Cap'in," Kraglin said, stepping a bit closer, "I told them it would probably be fine. I thought if Terrans could eat it then we could too, since.. well since Terrans ain't usually too durable, as we tend to see with Pete."
Yondu looked at his first mate and nodded, acknowledging him but not really saying much on the matter. He looked at you, then back to Brahl before turning around to leave the house. "He ain't dead. If he can still fight and work, he'll be fine. Right, Brahl?" he asked, giving the man a look.
Brahl nodded. "Ye.. Yethir." he said, shooting Tullk a glare, who had snorted upon hearing the lisp.
Tullk had walked in on the scene and not thought too much on it. It seemed that like Yondu, as long as the man wasn't dead, he assumed he was fine.
You opened the freezer, grabbed an ice cube, and handed it to Brahl. "Suck on this, it'll help the pain and swelling."
He took it and popped it into his mouth with a relived groan and you muttered out another apology, feeling bad that someone had gotten hurt due to your ignorance.
With that taken care of, you turned to Kraglin and Tullk. "Can you two help me make sandwiches, we've gotta feed like, what, forty people?"
-
The sandwiches took about half an hour to make, and at least four loaves of bread, but at least everyone was fed.
And you had to admit, watching a bunch of alien pirates eat was fascinating.
Some would take the bread off and give it to someone sitting next to them, and just eat the meat. You had a six year old nephew who did the same.
A few took their sandwiches and would sit far away from the rest of the crew, like an animal guarding its resources.
But most of them sat in hoards on the floor of the barn and talked.
One, however, came over to talk to you, a pink man named Oblo.
"What kind of meat is this?" He asked. He had removed the top slice and was just eating the ham.
"Uh, it's ham.. It comes from a pig." you answered. You were still out in the barn having just given away the last sandwich, but you figured a bit if conversation wouldn't hurt.
"Are all animals edible here?" He asked, now just holding the plain slices of bread in his hand, seemingly unsure of what to do with them. This issue was quickly resolved when a shorter man just took them from him, and he just let it happen. No words exchanged.
"Most are, but not all, I guess. Some are toxic, even to humans, and some we're not allowed to eat because they're protected. And some we keep as pets, so if you see a dog or cat, please.. don't eat it."
He nodded. "I don't know what a dog is.."
You shook your head. "I'll let you know if we see one, don't worry about it." you said, figuring that would be easier than trying to explain a dog to someone who has never seen one before.
-
In the evening, you saw less and less Ravagers in the yard as it got colder, so they started migrating back into the barn where it was warmer.
You had busied yourself with finally taking some of the frozen goods down to the basement, flicking the one dim light on down there. Hoping the food was still good, you began to load things into the freezer, when something caught your eye in the side room.
It was your old TV. You had gotten a new one about a year ago and just stuck the old one in the basement.
You finished stocking the freezer and made your way into the side room to get a look at the TV. It was still in good condition. Maybe you could find a way to hook it up in the barn for the guys so they weren't just stuck out there with nothing.
But that was a project for tomorrow.
For now, you made your way back upstairs to get ready for bed. You made sure the front door was locked, but kept the back door open so people could come in if they needed to.
You figured they didn't want you dead, otherwise you already would be.
With a huff, you fell into bed, and drifted off, wondering what the next day would bring.
#tal writes#gotg fanfiction#gotg ravagers#ravagers x reader#ravagers#mcu x reader#marvel x reader#gotg x reader#x reader#fanfic#mcu fanfiction#marvel fanfiction#marvel#marvel mcu#mcu fandom#mcu#gotg#guardians of the galaxy#fiction writing#writing
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Whumptober Day #1: Race Against the Clock
Because I'm absolutely obsessed, I decided to do whumptober in @lumosinlove 's absolutely beautiful Sweater Weather universe this year. If you haven't already, go read their works! They're incredible! Enjoy!
Sweat dripped down the back of Remus’s neck, making him ache to reach up and wipe it away. Instead, he readjusted his hands around his hockey stick, fighting to control his breath. He’d been on the ice for three shifts already and his lungs burned. He didn’t have much longer to go though. His eyes glanced up at the clock, thirteen seconds blinking back at him in big red and gold numbers. The roar of the crowd was deafening, almost stifling. A stadium full of lions, hungry for a win.
The entire game had been like this. The fans didn’t like the Slytherin Snake’s stepping foot of Gryffindor ice any more than their team members did, and the air buzzed with hostility. Gloves had been dropped no less than fifteen times already, with an all out brawl between both teams at the end of second period ending in penalties for so many players that it had to be cut short by several minutes.
The mad scramble for goals had been non stop, and they were tied 6-6, with Riddle and Leo both desperately trying to keep the puck out of their goal. Remus was pretty sure Logan and Finn had snuck off with Leo to let off a little steam between the second and third period, because he had left the locker room looking like someone had killed his puppy and came back with sheer determination on his face. He had managed to hold off the Slytherin offense the entire period, with just thirteen seconds left, but Remus could see how pale he looked even through the goalie mask.
The whistle blew to return to line up and Remus went, skating to flank Sirius on his right, Logan at his shoulder. Thirteen seconds, they were so close, they could do this. All they had to do was maintain the tie, defend Knutty. The whistle sounded, and the puck dropped.
13
Sirius lost the puck, Malfoy sending it backwards to his teammate
12
Snape faked right past Finn, greasy hair doing nothing to hide that infuriating smirk
11
Remus turned too slow and was rammed hard to the side, hick stick flying from his grasp
10
Sirius was fast, but not fast enough, and Snape was gaining on the goal
9
Remus scrambled for his stick, managing to grab it and begin flying up the ice
8
Finn managed to steal back the puck, turning and shooting it to Nado
7
Malfoy intercepted, circling back toward the goal
6
Leo crouched, hands up with knees ready to bend or straighten
5
Logan was rammed into the glass, a low noise of concern and fury echoing from the crowd
4
Finn called out Logan’s name
3
Leo looked to the side, just for a second, eyes searching for his boyfriend
2
Malfoy took the shot
1
The buzzer sounded
For just a second, the arena was silent. Then came the disappointed groans and boos of the crowd. It hit Remus like a shock wave, knocking him back and forcing him to catch his balance. They had lost.
And Finn was calling for medical.
Remus’ gaze shot up, catching on Logan’s crumpled form, disturbingly still. There were whistles blowing, Moody was walking out onto the ice, his face grim. Remus felt a hand on his back, looked to the side to see Sirius, his eyes like steel. He glanced back at Logan and felt sick as he watched Moody place a c-collar, calling for a back board. Logan’s eyes still hadn’t opened.
(To be continued...)
#whumptober2024#no.1#race against the clock#sweater weather lumosinlove#marauders#fic#injury#wolfstar#o'knutzy#sweater weather#lumosinlove#coops
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reflection, part 4
Fandom: Six of Crows
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Shadow summoner!OC
Warnings: Kaz Brekker and everything that goes with him
Word count: 2,1k
Tag list: @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @valkyrie05x, @parabatai-winchester, @footydais, @valeridarkness, @igakc , @winstonthecow22
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Her first week in the Slat was so quiet and nice that Jess had the deceptive impression that she had been living here for many months already. She managed to fit into the routine quite easily, though she kept a certain distance from everyone around her because of Kaz's unspoken request. To him, it was just a job. One of many others, though special enough. So he kept Jess out of any of the Club's activities, but generously allowed her to be there as an observer every night.
She was similar to Matthias in that role, and he was basically the first one who Jess encountered most often, in the deserted kitchen or the living room in the quiet afternoons, while the rest of the Crows and Dregs ran countless errands for Brekker. The day before, Nina had locked herself in the bedroom with Jess with the company of a fine bottle of wine and they had talked literally until morning, passionately recounting the things that had worried and troubled them in these past few years. When Nina talked about Matthias, her eyes lit up so obviously that Jess swallowed her surprise and all questions about how he had coped with his beliefs that all Grishas should be recognized as a mistake of nature and killed.
The stern Fjerdan intimidated her with grim evaluative glances and the silence with him was so dense and physically palpable that it reminded Jess of the rare moments when her father had punished her with such silence and she had become extremely uncomfortable even standing next to him. But Matthias brewed the best coffee in the Slat and proved to be contradictorily curious. Jess thought that was Nina's beneficial influence, though she didn't go into details about their complicated relationship.
— Kaz let slip that you escaped from the Little Palace. Were you a Grisha?
Matthias found her after breakfast, taking the clean plates from her without further question to wipe them dry. His voice sounded wary, but Jess appreciated the first steps taken toward her, so she tried to show reciprocal benevolence by shaking her head gently, though she was almost certain that Kaz had told Matthias such details on purpose.
— Grisha's abilities come from birth and remain with them until death, even if we don't use them for some reason.
— So it's true, isn't it? Can you do magic stuff like Nina, too? Trick someone else's mind and control their heartbeat?
Jess knew that hiding something from the Crows would be an extremely difficult task. She was going to be living with them for a while and she wanted to believe that they would be able to make some sort of connection. To be on good terms. The last thing she wanted was to be in isolation again, where she could trust no one and had to constantly look over her shoulder, drowning in the pitch blackness of anxiety. Matthias, with his crystal blue eyes, looked naïve and curious, but Jess remembered that he had dragged dozens and dozens people like her to execution before.
— I have certain powers, but no, I'm not like Nina.
— I've heard that Grishas get sick when they give up their powers and hide them. That it's a punishment from the gods for ignoring their gift. Is this true? — Matthias seemed genuinely positive, not about to reproach or condemn her for who she was born to be.
— My grandmother used to say the same thing. I haven't met Grishas like that personally, but it sounds likely. I know your culture raised you differently, but many people do perceive our powers as a miracle and a special gift. Which is funny, since Grishas have been training for centuries only to die in the Fold.
Sadness seeped into Jess, threatening to turn into regret over Aleksander's sins, so she chose to change the topic to how Matthias was adapting in Ketterdam and what exactly he was doing for Kaz while he was trying to convince himself that he didn't stay here because of Nina.
Her next personal encounter with one of the Crows came the next day, when Inej caught her on her way back from some shopping. The Wraith was given her nickname rightfully. Her footsteps were completely inaudible, and her appearance made Jess twitch reflexively for a moment .
— Kaz wanted me to keep an eye on you. Why did you go out to the city alone?
If Jess hadn't known they'd only met each other a few days, she would have thought that Inej was really worried about her. But she just shrugged her shoulders and nonchalantly shoved a large bag of groceries into Inej's hands, since she'd decided to stop hiding on the rooftops and keep her company for the walk.
— I didn't know that the Slat was supposed to be my prison with required permission to go in and out from Saint Brekker, — Jess' lips parted in an amused chuckle, though she knew she really should have been careful. — I haven't been gone more than twenty minutes. I thought you were on a mission. What did the boss have in mind for you today?
— Looking for some information, nothing new, — Inej answered vaguely, stepping first into the building that had become her true home in the last couple of years.
Inej held herself aloof and rather professionally, but Jess managed to melt the ice between them with lemon cakes and herbal tea brewed in the Suli tradition, as well as her own honesty about the terrifying things she had seen before in the Little Palace and while visiting military settlements with other Grishas. Experience had told her, correctly, that nothing brought people closer together as much and as quickly as shared traumas. Inej, tearfully talking about the Menagerie, earned Jess' respect almost instantly.
After she had left, Jess expectedly had another nightmare waiting for her. It started out so well that it looked like her real past. She was in her father's study, beside a huge elongated desk, drawing a map of Ravka according to Aleksander's instructions. Shadows stretched lazily along the walls to the ceiling and looked more like puffs of loose smoke, something her father had remembered to point out to her, reminding her to focus better on control. He said it so often that Jess heard his voice in her head many times, even after their classes.
Aleksander was there and she could feel the warmth of his smile, as well as the tangible touch on her shoulders in the form of an approving gesture. She had relaxed enough, and that's when the first terror shaked her. The nightmare crept into her memories as an ugly shadow, taking any light from the room and distorting Aleksander's facial features, bringing her back to that forest. To his screams, to his commands and to the massive pain. To his regret that she was too weak to really be his daughter. Even years later Jess didn't know what hurt her more — his cruel words or the searing, lingering pain by the darkness that had slipped inside her body and deprived her of air, ripping her skin through. Her father always calmed himself at the sight of the first blood, but now, in the midst of the nightmare, it wasn't meant to be.
The clammy fear didn't leave her even after she awoke. Her hands were shaking shamefully and Jess was suffocating in the stuffiness of her bedroom, so she stepped out onto the porch leading to the small backyard. Someone from the Dregs had dragged a nice white bench here, better suited to stand outside a fancy coffee shop, attracting tourists with full wallets. And that's where Wylan found her, unabashedly holding out a cup of tea. His outstanding and too readable facial expressions remained visible even in the night's semi-darkness, his eyes running across Jess' face and his lips pursed in dangerous anticipation, as if he thought she was bound to chase him away.
— Kaz said you had nightmares. You were screaming in your sleep. I guess it's silly to ask you how you're feeling, isn't it?
— If Kaz Brekker is so attentive, why doesn't he talk to me about it himself? I haven't seen him in a few days, — Jess managed to get her emotions back under control and softened the harsh phrase towards the end. She carefully took the cup and nodded appreciatively, dabbing her fingers on Wylan's arm to sit him invitingly on the bench beside her. — I'm fine. We all have reason for nightmares, don't we? No one in the Slat had a good life or we wouldn't be here otherwise.
— What do you usually see in your dreams? — Wylan's question sounded muffled, and his mind had already shifted, tossing up an image of his father. Goosebumps ran down his skin at the same second, giving away his former fear, and he wondered if he would ever be able to get rid of that terrifying reflex. No child should ever have to react like that to his own parent.
Jess knew very little about Wylan. Just some things Nina and Inej had told her. He was amazingly good with substances that could be detonated, had an eye for Jesper that was quite mutual, as was their endless flirting, and was excellent at music, judging by notes Jess had spotted in his room through the ajar door. Nina had mentioned that Wylan had run away from his family, and because of that Jess felt a special sympathy for him. Sometimes even life on the streets or being among ruthless cruel thieves and murderers was better than being under the family wing.
— My father, — the answer came out before Jess could even decide whether she should give away any details or it was better to keep her secrets from the Crows. If she had to run again soon, there was no point in making any friends here that she would have to leave behind.
The weight of the truth was really heavy for her more than ever, and she could feel in her gut how her hope for a peaceful future had crumbled. She could fool herself all she wanted with the rumors of the Darkling's death that were still circulating in Ketterdam, but there was a nagging sense of foreboding under her skin that she couldn't shake off. They really did have a connection.
Once, when she was eight, Aleksander had given her an enchanted pendant when she'd begrudgingly refused to let her father go back to the war. The Fabricator had worked on it so that the silver chain with its decoration in the shape of a small bird, remained completely black, as if it had been made of pure darkness. Her father had said that it would stay black as long as his pulse was beating, that he would always come back to her as birds flew back to their home nest. And she believed. She still believed and that's why she never had the courage to look at the chain kept in the silk pouch at the bottom of her suitcase. Jess still didn't know whether she wanted to see the black or the silver.
— I'm afraid that he'll come back for me. I'm afraid that part of me wants him to, because I'm still attached to him. No matter what - that's what he said, and now it seems like a real curse, — a sad smile flashed across Jess' face, but quickly disappeared behind her cup with another sip of tea. Her heart felt heavy at the admission of her weakness, but she was comforted by Wylan's presence in the moment. — Do you have something similar with your father or have you already managed to jump to the next stage and free yourself from his influence?
— Mine never took care of me. No breakfasts together, no walks, no affectionate words or hugs. He had no part in my upbringing, though he liked to punish me for something he alone saw some sense in. So, I didn't have anything to hold on to. Maybe I was a little luckier in that regard.
Jess had trouble being tactile, but at that point she could clearly feel someone else's pain, and she was sorry that it was her nightmares that indirectly caused Wylan to return to the troubled subject. Damn Kaz Brekker, had he sent Wylan to her? So, coping with the rush of anxiety, she took a deep breath and touched his knee fleetingly as a sign of mute support.
— We don't get to choose our parents, but we can surround ourselves with those who treat us much better. You're doing pretty good with Jesper, aren't you? That gives me hope.
#six of crows#shadow and bone#kaz brekker#kaz brekker imagine#kaz brekker x fem!reader#kaz brekker x reader#inej ghafa#nina zenik#wylan van eck#kaz brekker x oc#aleksander morozova#the darkling
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
WIP Questionnaire
Thanks for the tag, @transthadymacdermot!!
What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?
The characters. They existed as deviantart ocs that I used to roleplay with in chatrooms before any semblance of a story existed. This was back in high school.
If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?
I'll give a few examples here because there's a lot of songs I think fit the vibe of the story (I have a 4-hour long playlist of "soundtrack" songs)! All of these are based on pure vibes, not necessarily lyrics. For a TV show, I think a folk revival type song like "Over Again" by Stick in the Wheel or "Cannily Cannily" by Maddy Prior and Tim Hart would be sick. If it was a short instrumental intro song, an eerie tune like "More Bones to Sort" from the OTGW soundtrack or this song would work well. To get more general Rasputina is an artist whose overall sound is something that would work great for the story. If you don't know them they're a band that makes rock music with cellos and is very weird and goth about it.
What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?
I love them all, but right now I have to admit my favorite is Tristan. It's definitely partially because he's the most developed right now, but also because he's the reason I revived the story after dropping it almost 10 years ago. I remembered him and thought he had potential and fell in love with him all over again. Coming up with ideas for his arc and his backstory got me excited for the overarching story again, and I changed him from a side character to a main character. I have a lot of fun with his personality and I relate to him a lot on a personal level.
What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow, Over the Garden Wall, Labyrinth, possibly Interview with the Vampire? and people who grew up with things like Hocus Pocus and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Maybe fans of Neil Gaiman? It's kind of hard to say though; I have no idea how the story would be marketed because it's..pretty weird lol.
What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?
Not sure what the biggest of them all is, but my big three I guess would be plotting, research, and actually writing. I feel like I'm hitting my head on a wall when I try to outline story beats or whatever, so I think I'll just have to fly by the seat of my pants and plot as I go. Research also feels like a hurdle I need to get past because I want to base the story itself on actual mythology and folklore, and root the "real-world" parts of the story in the real historic regency period. Right now I know enough to share fun facts in a conversation, but in reality I don't know shit. I have a lot of work to do in that regard. Actually writing has been a challenge due to a combination of annoying factors including having very little free time in my life, executive dysfunction, and being? scared? of writing? because what if it comes out bad? Which I know is silly but it blocks me from writing a lot of the time nevertheless.
Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!
Right now I'm thinking Crispin has a pet bat named Sparrow. Crispin named the bat Sparrow because he literally thought it was a sparrow, that being the only flying creature he knew of at the time. Now he knows better, but Sparrow is still Sparrow. I haven't thought much about it, but I think Crispin's keeping of a pet is one of the things that indicates he's different from his family/species, i.e. he experiences empathy and longs for companionship. The demon Tristan summons can shapeshift, and takes the form of many different creatures throughout the story.
How do your characters travel/get around?
Considering the time period, the options are limited. There's a lot of walking in this story, but also getting from place to place by carriage or cart. There's likely to be some horseback riding as well. In terms of the supernatural, Crispin can "teleport" himself from point A to point B using magic--but not very far. I still need to figure out the specifics of that though. Tristan is greatly aided in getting around by the demon he summoned, who transforms into a flying black steed Tristan can ride on.
What part of your WIP are you working on right now?
Right now I'm bouncing around and writing snippets of scenes that come to mind/interest me most. I'm considering everything experimental at the moment, and not committing to anything actually being in the final novel. This is helping me get over my fear of writing, and I like it because sometimes I end up liking what I write more than I thought I would. I also *might* write the story in novella form first, try out some things with that, learn from it, and then expand and/or rewrite it as a full novel. Other than that I'm researching and brainstorming and drawing (which is part of my process)!
What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?
Hmmm I think the fact it's a dark fantasy/horror story and the fact it's set in the regency period will attract people. The regency period and fantasy are both really popular right now (as far as I can tell). Also the fact that it has found family, which seems to be a popular trope. The fact it has queer characters might be appealing too. Other draws might be the Halloween aspect, and the deal with the devil trope. And if anyone likes enemies to friends and twist villains. There's also heavy use of gothic tropes and subverting them/combining them with folk horror tropes. Regency media (cough cough Jane Austen) tropes will also go under the knife of subversion.
What are your hopes for your WIP?
I hope to make it a published novel! Ideally traditionally published, but who knows if that'll happen lol. I also want the book to be illustrated, and to illustrate it myself. Besides that, I'd love to do some comics featuring the characters and maybe even short animations. (She said as if she had endless free time...)
Tagging: @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @finchmomentwrites, and @kaylinalexanderbooks !
#well twist villain might not be completely the right term but..#tag game#writing#writeblr#tristan#crispin#sorry if anyone already did this!
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Haunting Echoes of the Past - CHAPTER 4. The Calm Before the Storm
Gojo let him go. After all, Geto was already moving on, or so he thought.
Gojo started to put his life together, he found out that what he really wanted was to be a teacher, so he could protect kids like Geto; so, he could teach stupid kids -like he once was- to really be able to talk about their feelings and be strong enough to not fall into their families' expectations. Because he realized, his life had broken down in pieces because of him, his stupid choices, his family, and the cowardice that took over him back then.
Now, he would have to work his ass off, like he never did. Surprisingly, life gave Gojo a chance. That university degree that he thought would be of no use, was a useful tool for his new life as a teacher. It took him a while to find a place, but thanks to old contacts he had met while studying, he was given a place at a high school a bit far from the city.
Despite the unseriousness with which he spoke, Gojo was good at his job. He respected the rules, and the students trusted him, they almost saw him as a friend. Thanks to that, he was beginning to feel a little less lonely.
Yuta Okkotsu, one of his top students, said in his graduation speech that if he had been able to get this far, it was thanks to his teacher Gojo Satoru. Gojo was moved and he became fond of the boy. Even after graduating, the boy would email him to see how he was doing and ask if he wanted to go out for coffee sometime. Gojo accepted and discovered that Okkotsu was a more mature person than he thought he was, life had not been easy for him, and after a round of meetings, Gojo saw him as a friend.
Life was flowing calmly for the first time in years. A calm and quiet life, yes, he was lonely, but he felt peace. Every so often, he dreamed of Geto and the memories of his youth. When this happened, he would drink some water and avoid sleeping, then spent hours looking at the sky. He felt that the moon and the starry night were as close as he could ever get to Geto again. It was okay for him.
The years went smoothly, nothing big happened. A few more years working and then he could retire as a teacher, he thought.
It was a day like any other, when a woman arrived at his office. He was sitting in his desk looking through papers when the woman walked in without asking. He knew who this was, almost like if he had already met her before, except he didn't. He could feel his essence coming from her. A slim woman with blonde hair, he would never have guessed that this was Geto's type.
"Satoru Gojo." the thin woman said.
"Who are you?" he said, not caring.
"I think you know very well who I am."
"I don't know why you came here, but I don't have anything do to with him anymore. I haven't seen him for ages."
"He's dying." said the woman with a serious tone, there was not a bit of humor in her voice.
Gojo felt his world stop. He stood abruptly and slammed his hands on the desk at the same time.
"I'm not in the mood for jokes. Tell me why you are really here!"
He looked at the woman who had teary eyes, she wasn't joking, not in the slightest.
This was not possible, Geto was a healthy person, he took care of his diet, and exercised, he was a little thin but nothing to worry about. How could he be sick?
"What happened?"
"He has a heart condition that the professionals barely noticed. He had a heart attack a few weeks ago. We thought he was getting better, but his heart became less and less responsive. I'm afraid there's not much they can do."
Things were serious. Gojo's body felt heavier and heavier, and his whole body ached with pain too hard to bear. He sat back in his chair, trying to process the sad news, he didn't speak for a while, it was hard to breathe. On another occasion, he would have asked her to leave, but this woman didn't even have his number. Talking about Geto now was the only thing they could do.
"Where were you, huh? He spends years of his life with you, and you are not even able to take care of him and realize that he is getting sick." Gojo said with a tone of both disdain and disgust.
"And what about you? That you let him go just like that. Think I don't know about you and him? The pain you put him through?"
"His illness has nothing to do with me!" Gojo screamed.
"It does, you scumbag!" The woman lost her sanity. "I heard him mourn at night for years, during our marriage I had to hear him say your name in his sleep countless times, even if he cried or laughed, he always said your name!"
Gojo was speechless, how could Geto still think of him when he had a wife who loved him?
The woman kept touching her eyes, trying to stop the tears.
"You know...we even have two daughters, two adorable girls who love him. And he loves them more than anything in the world. I thought that by giving him children he would be able to move on, but even now, I know he's looking for you in the crowd."
Gojo could imagine him, Geto was probably a loving and responsible father, he imagined him playing with his daughters, taking them to stores, his daughters probably playing with his hair. He imagined Geto playing with dolls, and he couldn't help but smile.
The woman continued, "I am married to him legally, but I suspect he was always married to you in soul. He has a void that I will never be able to fill."
Gojo didn't speak.
"I don't know how much longer he has left, if you want to do something good for once and say goodbye, this is the hospital where he is. The girls and I are with him every hour." The woman took a deep breath. "I hate you more than anyone, I hope you realize that. But I know that seeing you one last time will give him the peace to leave without regrets." said the woman as she left Gojo's office, without even looking him in the eye.
What was Gojo going to do now? His life was finally going as it should, but now that he was calm, that woman came with news that made him lose his mind. He was going to lose him, not for the first or second time, he was going to lose him forever. Only at that moment did Gojo realize how insignificant all those years of pretending to leave everything behind had been. Nothing made sense, there was no point in pretending that he lived well and that he had made peace with his past. He had not.
He always thought that he would leave this world before Geto, because seeing himself alone in a world where his Suguru did not exist was too painful to bear. So, he always thought that he would die and Geto would live a long and happy life, even if it was without him.
It was as if the world was coming to an end.
#gojo satoru#geto suguru#jjk art#jujutsu geto#jjk fanart#fanfic#gojo#jjk geto#satosugu#ao3#ao3 fanfic#fanart#jjk angst#angst#jujutsu sorcerer#yuta okkotsu#geto x reader#gojo x geto
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Meet the Scrooges ~pt. 1~ A Sims 4 Scroogeverse fic
Set in the Sims 4 au by @rom-e-o. The first half of the little fic I've been working on bit by bit. Was originally supposed to be one thing, but it felt right to have one half mainly focused on meeting Starla and the other focusing mainly on Bess meeting and befriending Constance.
Rated T for some language and innuendo.
No warnings, just heaps and gobs and mounds of fluff.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Bess groaned as they approached the tall brick house. Her stomach continuously rolled up into her throat and down again to her toes at a sickening pace as the building loomed closer and closer. It was a beautiful looking house, Victorian era, remodeled and refurbished tastefully to allow for modern functionality while keeping the beautiful, classic, and timeless charm. It was just Bess' style. She would have adored it and been so excited to enter if it weren't for the reason they were entering it: To meet Ebenezar's family.
It was insane how she had never met them before, after having been in her Wolf's life for several years now, and especially since Wolf and his twin brother were so close, being the only real family they'd had for decades. But it was one of those freak things where situation and inconvenience had popped up after situation and inconvenience after situation and inconvenience until you hadn't met people for four to five years. Shit was chaotic. But now, approaching their second anniversary, Wolf was finally taking Bess to meet her in-laws.
They'd been invited to stay the weekend, which Bess thought was incredibly generous and maybe a bit crazy considering Ebenezer and Constance had just had twins not long ago. Not to mention they had a nearly-three-year-old daughter in the house. (This was why they'd opted to leave Bess' siblings with Granny FeFe for the weekend. After all, they'd only be a few minutes drive away should they be needed.) All in all, this would either be a blast or a disaster--no inbetween.
Wolf chuckled warmly from the driver's seat. "You're going to be fine, Dearest," he soothed her. "Take deep breaths. Slowly."
Bess tried, but the breathing seemed to settle nothing. "This was a bad idea," she lamented. "This was such a bad idea--staying the weekend. We should've just kept the kids with us and gone to the beach with everyone else. Why the hell did we think this was a good idea?!" Bess hid her face in her hands as she shook it.
"Because it is a good idea," Wolf assured her, voice soft but firm. "I haven't seen my brother or Connie for years or even met my first niece. It's high time we spend some family time--it's past due."
He glanced Bess' way, eyes softening with sympathy as he watched her rock nervously back and forth in an attempt to soothe herself. The silver-haired man reached over and gently grabbed one of her hands, pulling it away from her face and weaving their fingers together to squeeze comfortingly. "Hey," he murmured quietly. "It's going to be all right, Bess. I promise. Sammy and Connie have been dying to meet you since I first mentioned you. In fact, I'd say it's safe to say they already love you just from what I've told them about you."
Bess looked pitifully at him. "You'd be biased in whatever you said though," she meekly pointed out with a tremor in her voice. "They only know your version of me, Wolfy, not me me--the real, uncensored, un-rosy-colored version. Wh-what if... what if they don't like that version?" She clutched his hand more tightly in her anxiousness.
Wolf brought their hands to his mouth and sweetly kissed her knuckles even as he kept driving. "Sweetest Moondust," he purred into her skin, "beautiful wife and magnificent She-Wolf, my version of you is the real, uncensored version, no matter how you're unable to see it yet. But even if it weren't exactly, why would they not like you?"
"Maybe because I'm almost thirty years younger than you?"
"Your age--and consequently our age gap--has never once been anything more than a bullet point of fact for anyone, Bess, I assure you. All the jokes the others have made over the years have been good natured and affectionate: My brother and Connie will be no different. You're a grown, intelligent, mature woman perfectly capable of making your own informed decisions--no one has ever questioned that for a moment."
"Okay, then if not that, how 'bout the fact I stole you away from your family and business and kept you tied up in the shit with my demonic whack-job of a mother for years so you couldn't come back home? You missed the births of your nieces and nephew because of me. You should have been here, Wolf, not halfway across the world being a shield for me against my incubator from hell."
They were pulling up to the manor now, pulling into the driveway and parking.
Wolf finally looked fully at her. "You never stole me away, Darling," he assured her softly, drawing her worried gaze with his gentle one. "I went with you willingly; practically forced myself into the situation, remember? The past two-and-a-half years I've been exactly where I needed and was meant to be--right by your side. You needed me, and I wouldn't have changed that for anything, nor do I have any regrets for it. Sammy and Constance are in complete agreement with me as to it all and have been since I told them I was leaving with you. They begrudge you nothing, I promise you--I would have set them straight otherwise."
Bess couldn't help but smile a little. "I know you would have," she cooed, kissing his bicep and leaning her forehead against his shoulder. "But, in my experience, even when people are set straight... it doesn't seem to take." She couldn't help the glumness in her tone as she remembered the hell of her youth and growing up. She wanted nothing more than to never go back into any such situations ever again.
The silver-haired man bowed his head and kissed her coal-black curls. "Well, it's a good thing we don't have to worry about it then, hm?"
Bess lifted her head to come nose-to-nose with him and meet his eyes again. She didn't look or feel anymore reassured. "If you say so."
Wolf smirked and hummed, eyes flicking down to her mouth and back. Then, without warning, he surged in and captured her soft, perfectly painted lips with his. Let her try to be anxious with that!
Bess squeaked in surprise but then quickly melted into the contact, letting her eyes drift closed as she shifted closer to him, untangling her hand from his to hold his cheek while the other reached out and gripped his vest to pull them closer. Every thought and emotion she felt that didn't involve him and her love for him washed out of her soul like it had been taken out with the tide. What she wouldn't have given to just stay with him like this; his smooth, warm lips caressing hers, his teeth sinking into her pillowy bottom lip ever so gently now and again, his tongue hot and skilled as it slipped alongside her own, tasting like the peppermint he'd sucked on during the drive, his fresh cedar apple cologne and cinnamon citrus aftershave filling her nostrils and tickling her olfactory senses so delightfully. The fact that this glorious god of a man was hers--and willingly--still boggled her mind.
After a moment, and after Wolf had slipped a hand up her panty-hoed thigh beneath her powder blue skirt to grope her hip, they pulled apart, panting a bit for air. "For the record," Wolf husked as he gazed cross-eyed into her starry eyes, "you're always rosy-colored. And it's gorgeous."
Bess' insides tickled with butterfly flutters. She pulled her lip between her teeth and ducked her face from view into her husband's shoulder, tittering giddily like a crushing thirteen-year-old. A blush reddened her cheeks.
Wolf chuckled affectionately, squeezing her thigh and nuzzling her closer. "Properly married for over a year, and still so bashful whenever I compliment and kiss you," he gently taunted. He peppered her crown with more kisses.
Bess, shyly peeked up from behind her thick curtain of hair. "You make... everything feel new," she murmured. "Like a first. Every time. Whenever I think I can't love you any deeper or harder, you go and look at me like I'm the center of the world or hold my hand or... kiss me like you just did... and I somehow fall even more in love with you." She chuckled and bumped her brow to his, closing her eyes as she nuzzled into his warmth. "How do you manage to do that?"
The man leaned into her touch and nuzzled back. "Perhaps because I love you so bloody damn much, every time I look at you, I think I can't possibly love you more than in that moment, but then the next time I look at you comes... and then I can't possibly love you more than in that moment. Or the next, or the next." Wolf kissed his wife's brow, then tipped her head back to meet her starry eyes again. "I have a sneaking suspicion my entire life is just going to be a perpetual free fall into a deeper and deeper love for you, Mrs. Scrooge."
Bess' heart skipped beats as the butterflies in her belly tickled a grin onto her face and tears into her eyes. "Oh, Wolfy." Without thinking she dove back in for another slow, simmering kiss which she was most eagerly obliged with. "I love you so, so much," she whispered against his soft lips.
"And I love you," her man returned. "And so will your brother- and sister-in-law. Now come on." He pecked a barely-there kiss to her lips again and pulled back to switch the engine of the Royce off. He winked at her. "Let's go meet your family, yeah?"
Luggage retrieved from the trunk of the car and in hand, the couple trekked toward the front door. Each step caused Bess' anxiety to mount higher and higher, and when she finally laid eyes on the door, it took everything in her to not drop her bags, turn tail, and gallop away. Again her mind was screaming about what a bad idea this was. A voice that sounded just like her mother was echoing in her head: They'll hate you. Nobody likes you anyway, but they'll hate you for what you've done and keeping Ebenezar away. They'll think you're manipulative and controlling and only want him for the money. If they care about him at all, they'll try to take Ebenezar away from you--you don't deserve him. You're not good enough for him--you're not good enough for this life--and they know it. They'll see right through you and see just how unremarkable, common, and disappointing you really are.
A gentle, warm pressure wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her focus away from the voice in her head. Bess looked down to see her shoulder encased in her hubby's large hand, then looked up into his face again. She realized she must have stopped walking when he'd kept going because he was turned towards her, like he'd realized she was no longer following him and had come back to collect her.
Wolf smiled in gentle reassurance as he held her gaze. "You all right?" he crooned. His large, strong fingers tenderly squeezed.
"H-How should I act?" The question seemed to come out of nowhere; not even Bess understood why she'd asked it. That hadn't been any of the thoughts running through her mind.
Her man lightly cocked an eyebrow in confusion before sighing with an adoring smile as he shook his head. Letting her shoulder go, he brought his hand to her face, tucking hair behind an ear before cupping her cheek. "Like you," came the sincere answer. "You should only ever act like you, Moonflower." He leaned back down to give her another soft kiss to once again help settle her nerves. (It truly was a remedy he never tired of dispensing.) With that, Wolf curled his arm around her back and gently led her on.
They'd only just reached the bottom of the steps when the large, dark wood door with the impressive knocker suddenly opened and an older, short little woman dressed in a maid's uniform with glasses and a broom stepped out to bar their way. Stamping the broom down on the top step and leaning against it, she perched a hand on her hip. "Well, well, what have we here?" she drawled, sounding vaguely Eastern European. A sly smile quirked up her lips and her eyes sparkled in good natured mischief. "Do my aging eyes deceive me, or has the prodigal finally returned?"
Wolf laughed warmly. "I can promise you it's not your eyes, Magda," he declared. He let go of Bess and opened his arm out to the woman. "I'm home."
Magda's smirk blossomed into a beaming grin and she leaned the broom against the brick and came down the steps to embrace the man. "Oh, Ben," she chuckled warmly. "My Benny Boy."
Bess couldn't help but smirk at that. "Benny Boy"? Wolf hated when people called him 'Benny' and 'Benny Boy'--she surmised--would have been no less different and probably worse. Magda must have been someone quite special: She seemed about Wolf's age, maybe a little older--sixties at the oldest. Perhaps a doting, older sister-figure? The idea warmed the Yank's racing heart.
Magda embraced Wolf for a long moment, patting and rubbing his back affectionately and even rocking him a bit. "Oh, we all missed you, Love," she told the man. "Everyone. Of course, we all knew why you had to stay away so long, and we managed, but it wasn't the same."
Wolf chuckled and rubbed Magda's back comfortingly in turn. "I missed all of you, too," he assured the woman. "But I'm back now. And I don't plan on leaving again for a good long while."
"Good. We need you here." The woman passed her hands over Wolf's sides and then paused, pressing her palms against his ribs. "My!" she exclaimed, pulling back from the Englishman with wide eyes. She felt along his sides, flanks, shoulders and chest, and finally his middle. "I see you didn't suffer from hunger while you were away," she claimed, smiling in amusement. "You've put on as much weight as Ebenezer has! Wonderful! You walking skeletons certainly needed some extra pounds."
Wolf rolled his slate-blue eyes. "Don't exaggerate, Magda," he groaned playfully.
"Me? Exaggerate? Never!"
Wolf snorted out a laugh.
"I hope you didn't become addicted to all that ghastly, American fast-food while you were there," Magda only half-joked.
"Honestly, rarely touched the stuff." Wolf looked away from Magda over to Bess with a soft smile. "Bess saw to that. She fed me well--took spectacular care of me."
Bess blushed and couldn't help but return his smile. "Well, you took wonderful care of me first," she insisted. "How could I not return the favor?"
"Aaahhhh," Magda cut in again. She was turned to completely direct her attention upon the American, a little smile on her lips. "So this is the famous Bess." She looked the young woman over, smiling warmer and larger with every sweep of her eyes.
Bess shrunk back a bit, painfully aware the spotlight was now upon her. "U-Um... yeah, th-that'd be me. I-I-I don't know about "famous" though."
Magda shook her head as her smile continued to widen. "You're famous in this household, Dove," she informed the Yank. "And, one could argue, famous throughout the live music scene of London and on YouTube as well, Ms. Moonrock, sought after lounge performer and 65.5K subs strong--whatever that means, but according to the children it's quite good. I must say famous for good reason as well--you are pretty as a rose and cute as the dickens!"
Bess flushed red hot all the way down beneath her collar at that, her freckles popping from beneath her minimal makeup with the blush. She shifted on her purple peep-toe shoes a bit, fluctuating between feeling both morbidly embarrassed and genuinely chuffed over such compliments. She wasn't sure she'd ever get used to hearing such words so frequently directed her way that weren't in the form of YouTube comments or from drunken galloots at a hotel bar. Smiling the tiniest bit, the woman turned and ducked her head to shyly hide her face a bit behind her dark hair. "Thank-Thank you."
Chuckling warmly, Wolf began introductions: "Darling, I'd like you to meet our maid--well, Sammy and Connie's maid anyway--Magda Vandergeissan." The man clasped the little woman's sturdy shoulder and smiled impishly down at her. "She runs this house with an iron fist."
Magda playfully scowled at him and smacked his hand away. "Oh, you--hush! Not an iron fist. ... A fist of hard-packed earth. Wrapped in velvet."
Wolf laughed. Then he turned to Bess again and stepped toward her, brushing her hair back and taking up her hand to bring to his lips again. "Magda, this is Bess Scrooge." He smiled at the dark-haired woman, eyes soft as a lamb's, and held her hand over his heart. "My wonderful, beautiful, remarkable wife--the woman who has made me the happiest and luckiest man on Earth." His voice was tender, dripping with adoration and devotion.
Bess couldn't help but smile back as that familiar warmth flooded through her. She always felt like the most amazing woman in the world when he looked at her like that. She wasn't, of course, but she could easily believe it for a minute or two when in the lovelight of those gorgeous eyes. "Oh, stop it," she giggled in the way girls who are deeply in love do.
"All right, all right," Magda said, stepping in between the pair. "You lovebirds can make goo-goo eyes at each other later. Right now, I'd like to get to know the lovely lady. You can only learn so much from YouTube videos and hotel Yelp reviews." Without even looking, the maid took Bess' bag from Bess' hand and pushed the handle into Wolf's. Then she took Bess' make-up travel kit and stuck it under his arm. "You can handle the luggage, can't you, Ben?" It was an order phrased as a question. Before Magda could get an answer, she wrapped an arm around Bess' and turned all of her attention to the young woman. She smiled in a motherly fashion. "Come along, Dovey, let's go inside and you can tell me all about yourself." She began to lead Bess inside. "Would you like some tea? I've made fresh biscuits to go with it."
"U-uh, yes. That-that would be just fine, Mrs. Vand-"
"Oh, please, Sweetheart, call me 'Magda'--I insist. After all, we're practically family. Might I say, that is an absolutely lovely sweater. Lavender is an excellent color for you. And don't you look darling in that skirt? Constance isn't the only one in the family with style anymore. She'll be happy for that."
"Oh, um... thank you, Magda." Bess craned her head back to give her husband a nervous look but he just grinned and winked as he followed with the bags.
"I'm afraid you just missed the family by about five minutes," Magda informed them. "They took the little ones on a walk for some sunshine. They should be back in a half hour or so. Ben, why don't you take the bags up to your room? I've turned down the bed and have everything ready for the pair of you to stay in your old room this weekend."
Wolf nodded, then sent a careful gaze his wife's way. "Are you going to be all right for a moment or two?" he asked. His voice was full of sincerity and understanding, not a bit patronizing. Bess' anxiety was never something to be taken lightly for him, especially not since it had begun to flare drastically again during the whole debacle with her mother. They were working on getting it under control again, and the medication and coping exercises were definitely helping--even just being back home with family and friends seemed to be helping a great deal; it would be a good while, though, before Bess was back to the stability she'd had before her mother had reared her ugly head again.
Bess offered a small smile in turn as she managed a nod. "I think so," she answered quietly. "If not, I'll call and-"
"I'll come running," her husband finished for her with an assuring nod. He stepped forward and bowed down to give her a yet another short but still languid kiss. After which, he took the time to touch his brow to hers and hold her gaze. "I'll be back in just a minute." With that, he went up one of the split staircases and disappeared into the floors above.
Bess watched after him, a dopey smile that never seemed to fail to come out whenever he kissed her--no matter how chastely--lingering on her face. "Love you," she dreamily called after him. She would never grow tired of saying that.
Magda watched on with a sly, knowing smirk, hands perched on her hips. If that wasn't the look of a woman smitten to the very core of her soul for her man, she didn't know what was. "Well, well, well," the maid drawled, drawing the raven-haired woman's attention. "I've been in the presence of the two of you for less than five minutes, but I think it's safe to say you're as thick as thieves."
Bess couldn't help the bashful, girlish giggle that escaped her as she hid her blushing face in her hands.
Magda chuckled. "I'll take that as a sign he's treating you as he should."
Bess smiled in a completely lovesick way at the maid, hands on her blushing cheeks, her chest feeling as though it were about to explode with happiness. A year and a half as an established couple, and she still felt as though she were in the beginning stages of fresh love. Would it always be like this? She couldn't imagine that it wouldn't be, not with her marvelous Wolf. "Like a queen," she practically swooned. "I want for nothing with him. He's the most amazing and marvelous man!"
Magda knew that well. And the fact that Bess could see it too, caused Magda to be overcome with the urge to hug the young woman and join in her happiness. She did just that. The fact Bess readily returned the affection only after a moment's hesitation made the maid even more happy. Ebenezar had most definitely picked a good one. Of course, Magda had known that too from the first time the man had ever spoken of the Yank.
"I can tell just from the way he looks at you, that you treat him just as well," Magda murmured. The maid pulled back a bit to meet Bess' shining eyes and, for the first time, truly noticed the freckles sprinkling Bess' face. Ah, another freckled, blue-eyed beauty. I'm starting to see a pattern here.
"I'm so happy you're here with us now, Bess," Magda murmured, squeezing the girl's arms as she smiled sincerely into her face. "I'm so happy you and Ben have finally found each other. I've hoped and prayed for a long time for both of the boys to find their special someones--people who will love and cherish them as they deserve to be, partners who will help them bear the burden of the world instead of letting them become crushed by it. Ebenezer has found that special someone in Constance, and, though I've only just met you, from everything I've heard from Ben over the years and just from what I've seen already in the last few minutes, I can tell he's found that special someone in you. And I couldn't be more grateful or happier."
"I just want to make him feel as happy and loved as I can," Bess stated, gushing a bit as she gripped the maid back. "I want to build a life with him, from the ground up. I want to face every challenge and hardship with him and celebrate every triumph and good time with him. I want to give him a home and everything else he's ever needed and wanted. I want to help him see the man that I see when I look at him--a good man, kind and strong and brave and generous and chivalrous. Oh, I just want to love him, Magda! I do love him with all my heart and soul, and thank the heavens for him every day. I just want to love him for all eternity in any and every way that I can."
Tears shone in Magda's eyes by the end of that diatribe, her chin trembling ever so slightly. "If you knew how long I've waited for someone to say those things about my Benny Boy..." she trailed off into a quiet sob, a happy tear descending her cheek. Once again, she embraced the American, hugging her tight and close as she patted her back. She thought her heart would burst when Bess hugged her back just as tightly. "Welcome to the family, Bess. We've waited much too long for you to come home."
"Took me a long time to find it," Bess croaked back. "But now that I'm here, I'm not ever leaving--I promise."
When Wolf came back, from the third floor, he was drawn by the sound of laughter into the sitting room where he was greeted by the sight of Magda and Bess seated at the tea table. Both women held cups of tea as a tray of chocolate chip biscuits sat between them, and neither of them seemed to notice his entrance as they were both laughing much too hard. The man couldn't help but chuckle as well, thrilled that his wife and mother-figure were getting on so well already. "Well, now," he called out as he crossed the room, "this is a sight." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Bess' crown, stroking a warm hand down her back. "And you were afraid she'd slam the door in your face," he teased at a whisper into her ear.
Bess giggled sheepishly and blushed. Yes, she'd been overthinking and worrying needlessly. Again. Perhaps one day she'd learn to not do that.
"Now," Wolf sighed, leaning down to chomp a bite out of the half-eaten biscuit in his love's hand before standing up and looking between both women, "what are we laughing at?" He pulled out a chair and shifted it a bit closer to Bess before sitting down and slipping an arm around her shoulders.
Bess smirked at him as she arched an eyebrow in mischief. "You and your folded skivvies and ironed socks." She snickered when her man shot her a slightly unamused glare as his cheeks pinked up just a bit.
Magda chuckled. "Oh, Ben, dear, in many ways you've changed, but in so many others you've stayed the same," she crooned, reaching over to fondly pat the businessman's knee. "Thank the Lord you found this lovely little Yankee who's willing to put up with and cater to your... idiosyncrasies. Many women wouldn't without being paid."
Wolf became a bit defensive at that insinuation, however playful it was. "Bess doesn't have to...! I-I don't force her to...! If she didn't want...!" he tried to explain himself, but he was much too flustered.
Bess and Magda broke into giggles again and Bess leaned in closer to his side and wrapped her arms around his waist. "She's just teasing, babe," she cooed. "Feminists everywhere would scream and froth at the mouth but let them: I like folding your boxer briefs and ironing your socks. Besides, it's not like you don't handle my laundry in return." She kissed his flushed cheek.
Magda's eyes widened behind her glasses. "Whhhaaaaat?" she drawled in disbelief. "Ebenezar Charles Scrooge doing laundry?"
Wolf glowered at the maid. "Don't sound so surprised," he grumbled. "I know how to use a washer and dryer. It doesn't take a genius."
"He was a little rusty at first," Bess admitted with a giggle. "I had to remind him about separating things. And I don't think he'd ever heard of fabric softener before." She ignored the groan from her hubby and continued on: "But after that, he caught on quick--within the first few laundry days. And he was always excellent at handwashing--I wouldn't trust my delicates to anyone but him."
"Huuussssshhhhhh!" Wolf hissed, blushing red clear up to the tips of his ears. The last thing he needed Magda to hear about was how he liked to wash Bess' pretty little knickers in the sink to unwind after rough days.
Bess smirked up at him and winked. "And he positively loves folding things now that I got him a folding board," she went on. "You should see him when he uses it--making sure every piece of clothing is laid out perfectly on the board and carefully folding them into perfect little rectangles and squares. He does this little smile and nod at the end of every one as he stacks them into their specific piles. Ugh! It's so cute I could die!"
Magda broke into laughter again at the thought. Knowing the perfectionist her beloved Benny Boy was, the Hungarian could picture that scenario exactly!
"Oh, and can you believe, Magda," Bess went on as she patted her man's chest, "that this darling of a gentleman went out of his way to buy special, scented products to use on my clothes specifically?" The freckled woman smiled in complete adoration up at the silver-haired man.
Though he blushed red hot and avoided eye-contact, Wolf's lips curved into a bashful smile. He didn't believe he'd ever get tired of hearing her call him "darling".
"Oh, did he now?" Magda chortled as she smirked at the blushing fellow. As if it weren't already plain as day Ebenezar Scrooge was a man smitten beyond reason. "And, correct me if I'm wrong, Bess Dear, but I seem to recall some Instagram posts of a certain silver-haired gentleman cooking and baking?"
Bess grinned a mile wide. "You did!"
"Ho, now--wait a second," Wolf quickly injected. "I only mastered the grill--I'm still complete rubbish in the kitchen." He nudged his wife with a significant smirk. "At least, without someone there to guide me. I'm a much better assistant cook."
Bess smiled and nudged him back. "You are an excellent grill-master," she acknowledged. "And you're the best assistant cook. Especially since you volunteer to do all the dishes." She leaned in to peck a chaste kiss on the lips he offered up in a pucker. "Mmmmwah!"
Magda chuckled as she shook her head at the couple. "Laundry, house-cleaning, cooking, baking, washing dishes--I can hardly believe it, but you've actually domesticated him. Well done, Bess. Brava." The maid actually clapped which earned her a small glare from the man in question. She only snickered.
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," Bess countered with a sly side-eye to the older woman. "I'd say he's still plenty wild and rough in many ways." She turned back to and winked at her love. "Can't sand those rough edges away completely. What would I have to hold on to?"
The trio continued their tea time with warm, lively chatter, discussing everything from America to Hungary and everything in between. Magda filled in blanks about what had happened the last few years while the Wolves (Magda explained that's what everyone had taken to calling the pair collectively--Wolf groaned at the information while Bess laughed) had been away. It was as comfortable and cozy as three long-lost friends reuniting; Bess felt silly for ever having worried in the first place. But, of course, this was just Magda. She had yet to meet her in-laws.
Speaking of the devils--it wasn't long until there was a voice that sounded much like Wolf's but couldn't be his ringing through the house: "We're back!"
A familiar, resounding bark echoed right after it, and just a moment or two later, a big, furry, golden brown blur came barrelling through the door of the sitting room. Very nearly crashing into the couple, the blur quickly changed into a whining flurry of tail wags and slobbery kisses complete with a cold, wet, inspecting nose. Wolf and Bess laughed and endured the onslaught of wet affection joyously, wrapping their arms around the beast. "Prudence!" they both cheered. They slipped from their chairs to kneel on the floor to more sufficiently love up the excited mastiff, taking turns hugging her and getting showered with drool and giving the dog back and butt-scratches as she frantically spun around between them to give them ample and equal amounts of affection. Clearly the couple had been missed and she had too.
"Oh, Prudence!" Wolf laughed as he scratched the dog down her back and up her sides. "Good old Prudence!"
Bess held the dog's face between her hands, smushing and ruffling her floppy jowls as she smooched the animal all over her giant head. "Ugh, you big, sweet, wonderful ol' meatball-head!" she giggled, touching her brow to Prudence's. "Oh, we missed you, old girl."
Grinning a mile wide with lolling tongue, Prudence promptly flipped onto her back to offer her belly up for tummy-rubs. She was quickly obliged. The dog started whining in happiness again, her tail drumming the floor and one of her back legs pedaling as just the right spots were found.
"The children are going to be upset they didn't get to see you," Wolf crooned.
"She looks great!" Bess exclaimed, noting the mastiff's healthy body weight and solid musculature. As far as her breed went, Prudence was most definitely a senior dog, as she'd already been 9 years old when Bess had first met Wolf. But you could hardly tell from the way she acted or looked: Apart from a few white hairs around her muzzle and in her brows, Prudence could have easily been mistaken for a dog a quarter her age! It was just further proof for Bess' quiet theory that this dog wasn't really a dog, but a guardian angel in canine disguise.
"Hardly looks a day older than when Marley left her with us," a warm, smooth voice chuckled. The voice was familiar to Bess' ears--almost like her Wolf's--but different enough it could easily be deciphered for someone different. By someone close to him anyway.
The couple turned their attention from the dog to the tall man dressed in comfortable slacks and a casual blue vest over a white button-down and tie. This was Ebenezer Samuel Scrooge, one-half of London's famous (and in some corners, yet, infamous), philanthropic, billionaire-bankers-and-businessmen-brothers team. Also, Bess' brother-in-law.
Wolf's mouth split into a laughing grin as he sprung to his feet and quickly closed the distance between himself and the other grinning man. "Sammy!" he boomed. He clasped his brother's extended arm as the other fellow did the same and the two pulled each other into a great hug, slapping each other on the backs.
Bess couldn't help but stare. She'd known since before she met him that her Wolf was an identical twin--complete with a set of identical names because their father had been that sort of dick--and this wasn't the first time she'd seen Ebenezer--or rather "Adonis" as she had taken to calling him since seeing pictures online. But it was still uncanny to see a man who had her husband's face but who wasn't her husband embracing her husband. The same two-toned, steel and silver hair--though Wolf's was much longer as he'd finally managed to grow it to the "rebellious" length he'd always wanted; the same large, handsome, owlish nose; the same diamond shaped face with the chiseled cheekbones and sharp jaw that could cut glass; the same, wide, intelligent brow; the same slender lips; the same bushy brows; the same endearingly large ears; even the same carefully groomed muttonchops that jackasses liked to make fun of Wolf for ("Hey, Wolverine!" "It's not the Victorian age anymore, buddy!" "Yo, where's the time-machine, pal?"). So far the only real difference Bess could see (apart from the obvious hair) was that Adonis looked a tad taller and lankier while her Wolf was a bit bigger and bulkier in the muscle, body-fat, and framing department. Not a surprise, considering Wolf had just spent the last two years living with her on her old family farm, doing farm and renovation work and eating a mixture of her and her friend Debbie's cooking (finger-licking-good, stick-to-your-ribs, homemade American faire). Identical as they were, this fact made Bess officially decide that she had the more attractive of the twins. (However, she was plenty biased.)
Still laughing, the brothers finally pulled apart, but still held each other by the arm, hands now layered warmly over hands gripping forearms.
"Criminey, it's good to see you, old boy!" Wolf sighed.
"It's good to see you, too," Adonis echoed. "Bloody hell, look at you! You look like those damn rugby players we grew up idolizing! What do the Yanks feed you over there in the States?"
"Big portions and hard work."
"I'll say. Shite, Charlie, if Dad were around to see your hair now." He reached up with both hands and ruffled his twin's hair in an obnoxious and brotherly way.
"Hey!" Wolf barked the laugh as he shoved his brother away. He drew up his fists and got into a mock fighting stance and Adonis did the same. For a second or two, the men pretended to spar, ducking and bobbing around playful punches and then, laughing, they embraced fully again.
Bess couldn't help but smile, her heart swelling with happiness that her beloved was once again back with his best and closest friend. Happy whining and thumping sounds beside her told the woman Prudence was happy with the scenario as well. Bess reached down to scratch the dog's head and ears.
"Where's your better half?" Wolf asked as they parted again.
"Taking Starry to the loo," Adonis answered. "We're finally making progress with potty-training. Oh, that reminds me. Magda?" The man looked in the maid's direction. "Would you mind going to help Connie with the twins? I believe they both are in need of changing."
Always happy to interact with the little ones in any aspect, Magda smiled and nodded. "Of course, Mr. Scrooge." She gave Bess' shoulder a gentle squeeze and a reassuring smile as she left the room.
Bess smiled after her, even as her nerves started to rise a bit. Evidently she'd quickly attached to friendly, warm, motherly Magda as something of a security blanket in this strange household, and her departure left the American feeling a bit insecure again. She shifted a bit closer to Prudence, thankful that the dog also shifted towards her in turn, probably sensing her nerves. Good, old, wonderful Prudie!
"Well, Charlie," Adonis sighed as Magda, left. He let go of his brother and moved around him in Bess' direction, his icy blue eyes (ah--another slight difference) friendly and warm despite their otherwise frigid hue. "It's been about a minute since I came in--are you going to introduce me to this lovely lady, or should I do it myself?"
Wolf chuckled and moved back to stand by Bess, slipping an arm about her waist and tugging her comfortingly into his side. His thumb traced circles on her back to help soothe the anxiousness he had seen come back to her eyes. "Sammy, this is Bess." The man smiled down at his lover as she hooked an arm around his waist for extra reassurance. "The absolute love of my life."
Bess looked up at her husband, meeting his gentle gaze (yes, she definitely preferred that cool, liquid slate-blue), wanting nothing more than to kiss the very breath from him for those beautiful, beautiful words. She loved that phrase in context to her. After years of fearing she'd never find someone who liked her let alone loved her, to be referred to as the quintessential love of someone who was her own quintessential love filled her with so many good vibes she could have exploded. The woman knew she'd never tire of hearing them.
"Well, that's quite the statement," Adonis declared smiling between the smitten pair. "You must be something very special, Lady Ness; my hard-headed, self-sabotaging twin has never said that about any woman ever."
Wolf shot him a glare. "Hard-headed? Self-sabotaging? Pot, meet Kettle."
Prudence softly ruffed in agreement.
Adonis snickered with an impish smirk. Then he stretched out his hand to Bess and clasped her hand warmly when she took it. With a gentlemanly bow, he smiled sincerely up at her. "It's good to finally meet you, Bess," he stated fondly.
"You too, Bess responded, returning the man's smile. She squeezed his hand, happy to feel it was work roughened as well, though not quite to the glorious extent her hubby's were. With her beloved Wolf by her side and the palpable friendliness and openness of her brother-in-law, Bess felt her nerves settling again. "Wolf's told me so much about you."
Adonis sent a look his brother's way. "All good things, I assume," he said, raising a skeptical eyebrow.
"Oh, of course, Brother," Wolf assured him more than a little sardonically. "Only ever good things."
Bess did her best to keep from smiling and laughing as all the funny and embarrassing stories about her brother-in-law her husband had told her came rushing to the forefront. She succeeded only minimally well. It was hard not to laugh at the mental image of a man as imposing as Ebenezer losing it over a creepy-crawly. Deep down she really hoped a spider or beetle would sneak into the house while they were there for the weekend; she wanted to see if Adonis really screamed as loud as Wolf claimed he would.
Adonis gave his brother a hard look. "Uh-huh." After a moment he looked to Bess again and said conversationally: "You know, he pissed the bed until he was thirteen."
Bess laughed incredulously. "What?!"
Prudence too looked up at Wolf with wide, surprised eyes and perked ears as she tilted her head in question.
A beet-red Wolf immediately jumped in. "No I didn't!" he spat angrily, giving his laughing twin a rough shove. "That's a complete exaggeration and taken out of context, and you know it!" The man then desperately turned to his wife with her goofy, amused grin and frantically tried to explain. "The only reason I wet the bed was because I'd snuck out past curfew with a group of older schoolmates and had much more alcohol than was good for me and passed out. They dumped me back in my bed and I never woke up when I needed to and..." he trailed off, painfully embarrassed by the memory.
Bess smiled sympathetically and reached up to hold his angular face in her hands. "Oh, honey," she crooned with a chuckle. "It's okay--it can happen to anybody." She smooched his nose then smirked mischievously at him. "But if you ever do that in our bed, you're on the floor with the dog."
Prudence woofed rather indignantly.
Wolf smirked back just as deviously. "For all of two minutes before you begged me back into it," he rumbled more than a little salaciously as he cocked a smug eyebrow.
Bess flushed hot and gently popped his chin in admonishment. "Ebenezar Charles!" she hissed. "We're among company!" She tried to give her man a stern look but failed as her lips frustratingly twitched into little smirks.
A shudder went through Adonis at the mental images that statement conjured up and he cringed. Imagining his brother having... relations.... "Eeeesh!" he exclaimed. "There's something I never wanted to picture."
As if in agreement, Prudence shook herself and trotted out of the room with a snort. Clearly she had better places to be if the humans were going to start discussing such things. There was a stash of bones somewhere calling her name anyway.
Wolf side-eyed his twin as he pulled his wife flush into him. He always loved the way Bess fit so perfectly against him, her curvaceous, womanly figure melding perfectly into his body; the way his hands so easily found and fit into the small of her back and other dips in her body. There was no doubt in his mind anymore that they had been made for each other--molded to fit one other specifically. "No kidding," he responded drily, shooting a pointed look at the other man. "Say, did you ever get around to finding some sort of cushioning for your headboard? I imagine the wall behind it is looking a bit rough otherwise."
Bess couldn't help but snort at that. She covered her mouth with a hand to try and stop her laughter. Her efforts weren't particularly successful.
Adonis blushed a bit and glowered at his brother. Then he smirked deviously. "No, we didn't," he replied. "As a matter of fact, Constance and I just use your bed now."
Wolf felt the color drain from his face at that statement. Whether it was true or not was a complete crapshoot, because he and his twin were masters of screwing with each other. Even so, just the mere idea that he could possibly be sleeping in a bed his brother might have shagged in, perhaps making love to his own wife in that same bed, was enough to make his skin crawl. "You're a bastard," he rasped out.
Adonis' devilish smirk turned into a somewhat maniacal grin. "Remember, we're twins, Benny Boy."
Bess looked between the brothers in utter amusement. Having four siblings, Bess was used to the ever-fluctuating nature of such relationships, and the contolled, chaotic energy between her husband and brother-in-law was immaculate. This was going to be a hell of a weekend!
"Papa?" a tiny little voice suddenly chirped in to interrupt the conversation. "Papa, Papa, Papa!"
The three adults turned to see a tiny redheaded girl in a yellow shirt, little blue capris, and teeny white shoes come toddling into the sitting room. Arms outstretched for balance, the tot had a big, gap-toothed grin on her cherubic little face, her sparkling blue eyes trained on her father. The toddler sped up into a waddle and, panting as she squeaked excitedly, darted for the tall gentleman. "Papa!"
Adonis' face softened and his grin turned warm with love as he crouched down to meet the toddler. "There's my little sundrop!" he cooed adoringly as he scooped the girl up. He smooched noisy kisses to her chubby cheeks as the little one giggled and squealed while she hugged his neck.
"Papa! That tickleth!"
Bess couldn't help but smile at the sheer adorable, wholesomeness of the situation. There was something about a big man being gentle and sweet with a small child that never failed to make her go mushy inside. And make her useless womb quiver and ache.
The American looked up at her husband again to see him staring at his brother and niece attentively. A slight smile curled his mouth. The light in his eyes was warm and soft and... maybe just a tad longing. It was hardly a secret the man had a desire to be a father, to hear a little voice call him "Papa" and catch a little child as they came running to give him hugs and kisses, too. While he was the adoptive father of Bess' siblings now and loved being their father-figure and adored being called "Uncle Ebby", it just wasn't quite enough. There was a void deep inside him that it just didn't quite fill, as much as he wished it would. He wanted to be a father to a child, from beginning to end. He wanted to experience the good, bad, and everything in between. He was honored his adopted children had hyphenated his name in after that of their own father, but even so, the man wanted a child to carry his name first and alone.
Bess reached up and cupped his sculpted cheek to draw his face back to hers. She smiled reassuringly at him, knowing what was going through his very soul at the moment because it was going through hers too. "Someday," she reminded him softly. "We'll be there someday." She stroked a tender thumb along his cheekbone and pressed her other hand to his heart. "I promise."
Wolf responded with the softest of smitten smiles he'd given her since their first morning waking up naked in each other's arms. He bowed to touch his brow to her, his stubbornly-stray lock of hair tickling both their cheeks. "How is it you always seem to know exactly what I'm thinking?" he purred, gazing into her eyes.
Bess smirked as she curled both arms back around his neck and pulled him closer. "I could ask you the same thing," she giggled.
Wolf rumbled a soft chuckle and angled his head to bring their mouths together once more. He kissed her chastely but soundly, reveling in the belovedly familiar scent of her blueberry perfume. He would forever associate blueberries with this glorious woman for the rest of his days.
"New fwiendth?" the little girl chirruped again.
The couple parted lips and turned their attention back to the father and daughter, both of whom were now gazing at them, the father much more wryly than the little girl. She gawked at them in wide-eyed excitement and fascination.
"Yes, Sweetheart," her papa answered gently. "New and very good friends." He returned his gaze to his child and smiled at her absolute enchantment with the two new adults. The man gently bounced her in his arms. "Do you remember them?" he cooed. "Hmm? You've seen their pictures and watched them on YouTube. Mama and I have talked to you about them."
The babe gasped and squealed with delighted laughter as she clapped her little hands. "Annie Bweth!" she giggled. "Unky Woofy!"
Bess couldn't help the laughter that escaped her. "Unky Woofy," she snickered to her husband. "That's definitely becoming a new pet name."
Wolf gave her the side-eye. "Don't you dare," he warned her but he smirked as he said it.
Bess only winked. She made no guarantees.
Chuckling, Adonis knelt down and placed his little girl on the floor again. The girl's feet were already peddling before she touched ground; when she finally did, she took off at a run. Or as much of a run as a waddle could reach. "Go make friends," he urged, though the child was already speeding to do just that. He smiled in adoring pride as he stood again. "Charlie, Bess, allow me to introduce you to your niece, Starla."
Unable to help herself, Bess pulled out of her hubby's arms and quickly moved towards the oncoming child, arms outstretched and hands itching to pick up the tot and snuggle her close. She loved children in general, and this stage was positively adorable (if not insanely chaotic), when they really started to come into their own as little people with little personalities and attitudes. "Oh my goodness!" the America cooed as she swooped Starla up into her arms. "Hi, Sweetheart."
Starla's gap-toothed grin beamed wide and radiant as the sun. She giggled excitedly as she reached out towards Bess, stubby little fingers wiggling and grasping for something to touch and hold on to. "Annie Bweth!" she squeaked. When Bess leaned in and pulled her a bit closer, the tot grabbed a chunk of coal-black waves and tangled it between her fingers. Her cornflower eyes widened in awe. "Ooohhh, tho pwetty," Starla quietly marveled. Then she beamed even brighter up at her auntie again. "You pwetty, Annie Bweth!"
Chuckling, Bess settled her niece on her hip and snuggled her. "Not as pretty as you, Little Sunbeam," she crooned. The woman stroked a finger down the owlish bridge of the little ginger's nose and playfully booped the tip, her heart melting at the peals of laughter that followed. Starla may have been her mother's spitting image overall, but she certainly had her father's nose. "My gosh, look at you! If you aren't the cutest little angel I ever did see. And you've gotten so big! Golly, it seems like just yesterday Wolf and I were looking at pictures of you all red and squishy."
"She's certainly turned into quite a little armful," Wolf remarked turning to his brother with a genuine smile.
"And much too fast," Adonis agreed with bittersweet sorrow. "I swear just last week she was falling asleep during tummy-time--now it takes everything Connie and I have to keep up with her.
"I remember watching your first steps," Bess told the little girl. "I do." She poked Starla's tummy and was rewarded with more happy, ticklish squeals. Could this little tyke possibly get any cuter?!
"I remember it, too," Wolf remarked moving behind his wife and putting his hands on her shoulders as he fawned over her smittenness with their niece. ("They're niece"--that sounded so wonderful!) He remembered how happy and excited he'd been for his twin that day, finally starting a family (a deep-seated desire they'd both had and forgotten until recent years) and being able to raise and watch it grow. He also remembered walking in on Bess that evening, drinking wine, watching the video, and sobbing about how she'd taken him away from his family and was a horrible person for it. He'd fallen asleep beside her that night, holding her close as he comforted and reassured her. It was the first time they'd slept together--in the literal sense of the phrase--and, while it wasn't exactly the most positive of memories in context, it was one the Englishman would cherish forever.
Starla's eyes suddenly snapped from Bess' face over to the tall gentleman gazing down at her from over her Auntie's shoulder. Her grin grew even brighter and she reached towards him. "Unky Woofy!"
Chuckling, Wolf moved around Bess and held out his hands to take the little girl from his wife. "Hello, Starla," he crooned as he settled her against his chest. "My goodness, you are quite the big girl!" He pretended to stumble and struggle to hold his niece, causing the tot to squeal and shriek with giggles. The man chuckled warmly and patted the girl's back.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Sweetheart," he said as he smiled at his niece.
Starla beamed back at him. "Nithe to meet you too, Unky Woofy!" she chirped. Then she reached up and took her uncle's chin between her pudgy hands and began to look him over carefully. After a moment, she turned to her father and waved him over. "Papa." When her father came over she reached out and placed a hand on his cheek as she kept one on her uncle's face. The little girl spent several long moments looking back and forth between the two men, her little fingers gently playing with the tickly hairs of their muttonchops. Her grin grew bigger and bigger as fascination and wonder sparkled through her baby blues.
Bess couldn't help but grin at the sweet moment. She also marveled at her niece's comprehensive observation skills for no older than she was. Of course, that shouldn't have been a surprise, considering who her parents were.
"Papa!" Starla gasped after a while. "Unky Woofy wookth duth wike you with wong, pwetty haew!" She clapped her hands in delight.
Both men chuckled. "That's right, baby girl," Adonis praised her. "Do you know why Uncle Wolfy and I look alike?"
Starla shook her head.
"We're identical twins," Wolf stated, watching his niece's adorable little face scrunch up a bit as she tried to process that.
"'Winth? Wike Thewwy an' Wobbie?"
"Sort of," Adonis answered. "Sherry and Robbie aren't identical, but Uncle Wolfy and I are identical. Identical means that we look alike and sound alike and we're both boys."
Starla looked between the men again for a minute. "Doth that mean you my papa too, Unky Woofy?" she asked as innocently as can be.
Wolf chuckled fondly and shook his head. "No, only your papa is your papa," he assured the girl. "I'm just your uncle." He smiled gently at her, a doting look in his slate eyes as he added. "But I still love you very, very much," he purred. "And you're very, very special to me."
Starla smiled sweetly and leaned forward in her uncle's arms to wrap her own stumpy ones around his neck. "Wuv you too, Unky Woofy," she said as she gazed into his face. "Mwah!" She puckered her little lips and pecked them to the pointed tip of the man's large nose in an adorable kiss.
Chuckling again, Wolf cradled the back of Starla's little, red head in his large palm and pulled her in close to hug. He softly kissed her cheek as the babe nuzzled into his neck. Blinking back the watery sting in his eyes, the former miserly recluse let out a shaky sigh as an ache deep inside his heart evaporated away. He'd needed this. He hadn't known just how much he'd needed this.
Her phone already out as she'd been snapping pictures throughout the encounter, Bess quickly collected a few more of the exchange, struggling to not melt into mush on the spot at the fluffiness of it all. Her chest was so full of warmth, she felt like exploding into butterflies and rainbows. This was just about the sweetest, cutest thing she'd ever seen! Finally, her beloved was back where he belonged--with his family. The Silver Wolf had found his pack again.
When she heard the telltale, trembling sigh, Bess slipped her phone away and moved to her husband. Pulling out a hankie she'd taken to carrying around ever since meeting her Wolf (undoubtedly a habit she'd picked up from him), she reached up and gently dabbed a stray tear off his nose. When the man opened his eyes to look at her, she smiled in gentle reassurance and understanding. The next thing she knew, her man was reaching out and curving an arm around her to pull her into the cuddle as well. Bess didn't object and melted into him, wrapping one arm around his waist and reaching up with the other to pat Starla's back.
Starla pulled away from Wolf's neck and looked Bess' way, grinning like the sun when she saw who was there "Annie Bweth!" She practically threw herself at the woman even as her uncle kept a hold on her, and hugged her auntie's face, snuffling into her soft, sweet-smelling curls. "I wuv you too, Annie Bweth!"
Bess laughed, her voice breaking a bit as her own eyes welled up with tears. She did her best to hug the child back in their awkward, somewhat tangled position. "Aw, I love you too, Sweetpea!" She looked up at her husband through a cage of toddler arms, joy and hope sparkling in her watery eyes to replace the anxiety that had once dwelt there. Her brother-in-law liked her! Her niece loved her!
His own eyes still shimmering with tears, Wolf smiled back at his wife and nodded. He hugged her closer and bowed his head to hers. He planted a kiss in her hair. "Welcome to the family, Auntie Bess," he purred into her ear. "I told you they'd love you."
@rom-e-o @ray-painter @crimson-phantom-designs @m0nsterwife @christmasgaybusinessmen @thedivinelights @purgratoriat @themostanonymousscribbler @oldmanlusting @the-house-of-auditore-frye
#scrooge 2022#netflix scrooge#scrooge a christmas carol#ebenezer scrooge#scrooge#fanfiction#scrooge x oc#ebeness#bess scrooge#sims au#sims 4 scroogeverse#ebenezar scrooge#ebenezar x bess#magda vandergeissan#starla scrooge#uncle wolf and auntie bess#family fluff#scrooge family#fluffy scrooge
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Little love
Post OH. Fluffy Angst. I never could resist a happy ending.
Synopsis: Ethan and Aspen's tiff affects a third individual more than they could ever fathom.
*******
Last night had been absolutely crazy. Ethan was on a day shift which ended up becoming a night shift only because Bloom suddenly decided to start a new policy and the administration board was in splits so now Ethan had to find middle ground with all of them never once losing sight of his patients. So no matter how much the 2 and a half year old human, pressed against my chest wailed for her daddy, it was not to be.
"Nooo, I. Want. Daddy. "
"I know, baby. "
I only sighed, knowing there was nothing I could do to quench Jade's crying fit, the only person who could was too far away to provide comfort.
Her hazel eyes were overflowing with tears, her rosy cheeks flushed, tiny hiccups alternating between her sobs. Feeling absolutely helpless, I simply held her, rubbing her back comfortingly as she continued.
After almost half an hour, which felt like eternity, she finally tired herself out and snuggled into me on the king sized bed in our room. Her tiny whimpers subsided, as she breathing slowly calmed and steadied itself, tiny snores surfaced as the remnants of her tears stained her cheeks, running down her jaw and neck. I quickly wiped them out with my thumb, heart breaking at the sight of my daughter. I closed my eyes, exhaustion catching up with me.
I woke with a headache and ringing in my ears to the sound of the bell , Jade was still pressed against me but the 6'2 figure keeping the sheets warm was still amiss. I slowly pulled away from Jade's grip and wandered to the front door.
"Yes? " I spoke into the intercom.
"Sweetheart, it's me, It seems I've forgotten my keys. "
"Come on up, E. " I said, letting him in.
Head still pounding, I sat on the couch, curling my legs under me as I waited for Ethan to join me. The door opened very slowly as he walked in, noticing me on the couch, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Sorry I woke you, I apparently had the keys, just couldn't find it." He placed them in the bowl by the door, walking towards me.
"The fuck, Ethan! Ugh. " My outburst startled both him and myself but the slowly rising pounding of my head and the immense exhaustion was enough to turn me into a spiteful bitch. I didn't even realise the tears now flowing down my face.
"Your daughter just cried herself to sleep cause she wanted her cuddles from daddy who wasn't here cause he was stuck in some stupid meeting with the administration board. Ethan it's been 4 years now, you told me you wanted to give this position up, wanted more time with your family. I can't do this on my own, not with another one on the way, I need you. Please. " My voice broke as the words left me, practically begging and I stumbled onto the sofa in the crying mess.
Ethan just stood frozen, unable to find his voice, the silence only filled by my sniffles as I gathered myself.
"You're..? "
"Yes, 5 weeks, you haven't been around to notice the sickness or anything much less find a moment to ourselves so I could tell you. This is not how I wanted it to go. "
"You know we are finding a replacement, it's harder than I thought.. I can't just leave.. "
"Yes you can. You've done it before. " I slightly winced at my impulsive words. That was unnecessary, dredging up the past only brought back the painful memories.
Ethan seemed to think so too, cause his azure eyes only glared at me, not with anger but with something worse..hurt. I wasn't gonna back down, the words were out anyway.
"I'll take the guest room. " I only nodded at his suggestion and waited until he gathered his stuff from our room and walked out, closing the guest room door behind him with a resounding thud.
I made my way back to the bed, where Jade sat up, her eyes blurry with sleep, widening with fear and confusion at the commotion. She had noticed daddy enter the room, waiting for him to cuddle her and give her assuring kisses, instead he had picked up his pyjamas and toothbrush and walked out,like she didn't even exist. She held her arms out but I was too spent to pick her up, I only gathered the covers, pulling them over us as she slowly lowered herself onto the bed next to me, closing her scared eyes.
**********
The next morning, I woke up feeling the light hit my face, waking up before me, usually Ethan would draw the blinds in. I groaned, almost calling out for him when I felt a tiny squirm beside me, consciousness and last night slowly coming back to me.
Groggily, I sat up, Jade was asleep on her stomach, her face pressed against the mattress, her slightly parted mouth causing her drool to stain the sheets.
"Sicko." I snickered, completely enamoured. I quickly kissed her temple before throwing the covers off my legs and making my way to the kitchen. I halted by my Ethan's door, the primal urge to check in on him taking over me as I peered into the guest room, taking in my husbands snoring form, sprawled over the smaller bed, his feet hanging off the edge. I smiled involuntarily at the sight, slowly closing the door.
"That's your daddy. He sleeps like a log. " I gently whispered, cradling my stomach. "He loves you so much."
I made my way to the fridge, pouring myself some orange juice, before settling on the couch, donning my glasses to read the AMC Medical Monthly.
Tiny feet against the tiles pulled by attention away as I looked up to see Jade waddle, monkey plushie in hand towards me. I held my arms out to her and she quickly scrambled up my lap, leaning her entire weight against me, settling against my chest. We stayed like that in silence, I gently rocked us back and forth.
"Mama? " She mumbled against me.
"Yes, doll? "
She sat up to look me in the eye, her gaze fille with emotions. concern etched in them, her tiny brow which mimicked Ethan's furrowed as I gently ran my hand over it to relax her.
"Tell me you love me. "
"What? Oh doll, of course. I love you a million percent. I'll always love you, forever and always. Never doubt that, not once. So does daddy ,I promise."
" He didn't give me goodnight cuddles when he came. He was real mad. And so were you, you said stupid." She looked down, her fingers fidgeting with my nightgown. She sounded lost, and it was my fault completely.
I waited for her to continue, her next words sending my heart into splinters.
"Why don't you love daddy anymore? "
" I love him , this big. " I stretched my arms out as far as I could, making a silly face causing her to giggle.
" I'll always love your daddy, always. Because he gave me the best gift there ever was. "
"Was it like my new blocks ? " Her eyes widening in excitement at the thought of the secret gift.
"No, doll. It's you. You're the best thing ever in my life and being your Mama is the most amazing thing that could have happened to me. And you know why it happened? "
"Why? "
"Because of daddy, he's the greatest husband and father but above all he's a good man and I'll never ever stop loving him. "
"He loves you too, dis big. " She leaned back, stretching her arms just like I did.
"Let's say good morning, yeah? " She nodded enthusiastically, her hair falling over her face and eyes. She quickly brushed them away, running over to the guest room, turning to me when she reached the door, too little to reach the handle. I opened it for her as she pushed herself onto the bed with difficulty.
Ethan was still asleep on his side, arms below the pillow and the comforter pushed down to his waist, his legs too long to fit were left bare. He lightly snored, making me realize how tired he'd been.
The love I felt for the man before me flowed through every inch of my body, hell it even resided in me. Jade made her way to him, steadying herself to stand using his back as support.
His snoring stopped as her hands clutched onto his back, one arm moving from under the pillow to Jade's standing form, gently flipping her over his back to his chest, causing a fit of giggles to leave her. Now she rested against his chest, looking into his eyes, her tiny arms caressing his bearded jaw as he smiled, taking one of her arms in his hand and pressing his lips to her palm before repeating the same with the other.
"Morning, daddy." She sat up and he followed suit.
"Morning, Jadie girl."
Her hands flew to his neck as she rested her head against his shoulder, looking sideways at me, smiling. I smiled back at her before moving my gaze to Ethan, only to find the stormy ocean already staring back at me.
"We need to talk. " I mouthed. He only nodded.
"Baby, you forgot monkey outside. " Jade mouth twisted into a O as she ran out to her beloved plushie.
"That's the best you could come up with? "
"I didn't see you try. " Before he could retort I walked over, adjusting myself in his lap, pushing my finger against his lips.
"Ethan, what I said last night was completely out of order and I'm so sorry. I have forgiven you and I meant it, I don't want you to think otherwise, not for a second."
He kissed my finger, grabbing my wrist with his large hand to pull it away. I replaced it with my lips, kissing him deeply as he held on to my shoulder. He broke away for air, resting his forehead against mine.
"Thank you. "
I continued, recounting my earlier conversation with Jade, his face falling as I finished my narration.
" I never want her to see her parents at war. I've seen enough of that with Louise to know what it does to a child. I've also felt like shit when she ignored me after an argument with Dad, like I wasn't worth comforting or even taken into consideration. I'll never want her to feel that. "
"Agreed."
" I found him Mommy!! " Jade runs in, her face scrunched as she gets onto the bed, trying to push me off Ethan's lap.
"I was sitting here, Mama. You sit there. " She pointed to the bed.
Ethan chuckled loudly as I almost felt jealous, not wanting to give up my husbands lap to this adorable human.
"You heard her. " Ethan reminded me, gently pushing me off his lap.
"Are you seriously pushing me off? " I scoffed, suddenly offended.
Jade was already nestled against him, looking up at him with so much adoration in her eyes I couldn't stay mad.
" I'm sorry sweetheart I didn't hug you last night. It just means you get all the more snuggles now. " His hands tickled her sides before he began blowing raspberries on her stomach, peals of laughter escaping from her.
"I love you both so much, Aspie. "
"Three of us. " I quickly corrected.
"Ah yes. " He smirked. "We need to have quite the celebration. Don't you agree, Rookie? "
"I may have a few things that come to mind. " I giggled, leaning in to capture his lips once more.
*********
A special thanks to @jamespotterthefirst @potionsprefect @perriewinklenerdie @rookie-ramsey @liaromancewriter @takemyopenheart @cariantha @jerzwriter @genevievemd @heauxplesslydevoted for inspiring me to write because of their amazing fics. I can never get enough of your writing. 😍
@choicesficwriterscreations
********
I'm thinking of starting a tag list. Let me know if you want to be added. That's it.
#open heart fan fiction#open heart mc#open heart choices#open heart fanfic#open heart#oh fandom#ethan ramsey fanfic#ethan ramsey x mc#dr ethan ramsey#ethan x mc#ethan ramsey#choices fandom#aspen milla kallie
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Get to Know Me - Sims Edition
If you saw me accidentally post this before I filled it out and had to private it really quick, no you didn't. 😚
Thank you for the tag, @simsdastra! ❤️
What’s your favorite Sims death?
In Sims 2, the satellite death and death by flies. I used those constantly.
In Sims 3, the meteor death (obviously) and the time sickness death. The meteor one because of how devastating it is while still making your surviving Sims a shit load of money and the time sickness one for how existentially horrifying it is. You just get Marty McFly'd right out of reality! 😱 I haven't had a Sim die that way when it wasn't on purpose and I'm willing to bet not many other Simmers have either. It's a pretty rare death.
In Sims 4, it's the pufferfish death and the Rabid Rodent Fever death. So visceral and mildly disturbing! When Sims 4 gets it right, it gets it right!
Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?
Alpha hair in Sims 3 because it's an absolute necessity, but I don't mind most of the EA clothes so I guess that's Maxis Mix?
When I played Sims 4, I was Maxis Match all the way except when it came to makeup and skin details.
Do you cheat your sims weight?
Not as much as I cheat their muscle slider. I find it preposterous that a Sim with no muscle definiton can go for one jog and come back shredded. I am constantly cheating their muscle mass back down to a more realistic level.
Do you move objects?
Of course, how do you live without that? In fact, I even have a button on my gaming mouse programmed to it.
Favorite Mod?
The transmogfrifer mod by icarus_allsorts and the stencil remover by velocity grass. I use these so much, I forget they're not naturally in the game.
First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?
Like, the first one ever? Sims 2 University. I played Sims 1 back in the day but I never had a single expansion pack for it. I didn't even know what expansion packs were until Sims 2.
Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing
Both. 🫣 I don't know which way is the "official" way, so I just alternate my pronunciation depending on what feels right at the time.
Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?
Aiden. 👽
Have you made a simself?
Many times! I've had Simselves in Sims 2, Sims 3, and Sims 4.
Which is your favorite EA hair color?
In Sims 3, you don't have to use swatches for hair so I almost never use the premade ones. However, there is a nice deep reddish brown that I quite like. I use it as a base frequently.
Favorite EA hair?
Most of the Sims 3 EA hairs are horrible even with retextures, so...none lol.
Favorite life stage?
I'm gonna be boring and say YA. 🤷♀️
Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?
Gameplay. I can't build to save my life.
Are you a CC creator?
No, I want to make CC but I have no artistic talent and I wouldn't even know where to start.
Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?
I do not know what a Sim Squad is but I do have Simblr friends! And Sims Reddit friends.
Do you have any sims merch?
No but I did once make a bunch of tiny resin plumbobs.
Do you have a YouTube for sims?
Haha no, I do not have the time or face for YouTube.
How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?
It hasn't changed that much, honestly. I am a bit more story-focused and a lot less murder-y, but that's about it. For the most part, I still have attention span issues and tend to start a lot of new saves lmao.
What’s your origin id?
Rabbitmancer. You can add me if you want but I almost never turn the online features on in game so it doesn't really do anything.
Who’s your favorite CC creator?
@aroundthesims, no question about it. ATS has literally everything and I have downloaded all of it. 😱
How long have you had simblr?
About...a year? I don't actually know. I've been on Tumblr in the past, though I left around 2015-2016, but I never dove into the Simblr community. @happy-lemon talked me into starting a Simblr and I'm so glad she did!
How do you edit your pictures?
I don't edit my pictures all that often because I do not know what I'm doing. I use ReShade and if I need to make minor edits, I'll do so in Paint.NET like a pleb.
What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?
Sims 2: Open For Business. In fact, it's my favorite expansion of all time.
Sims 3: It changes often but it's Ambitions right now. There's so much in Sims 3 to love!
Sims 4: Uh... I plead the fifth. 😑
I am tagging @happy-lemon, @oasislandingresident, @spaceapples98, @bool-prop, @hazely-sims (lol if I'm the millionth person to tag you again, disregard), @camisulsul, @sim-songs, @ninjaofthepurplethings, @neillesimstories, and @autonomousllama, as well as anyone else who wants to do it and hasn't yet.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, TMI, but my dog died six days ago. A perfectly natural thing, he was 13 and had been on the downward swing for a year - we actually got a year more with him than initially expected, he was so poorly last year for no obvious reason that I was 100% expecting him to pass before fall. But he perked up again, had another good almost-a-year left in him. Even now, it wasn't a surprise in the slightest when he went; he'd started having accidents in the house to the point where I'd feed him on the porch so he had easy access to the lawn instead of having to feel embarrassed about pooping indoors, and just a couple days before his passing, he hit the "one last good day" and I just knew. The night he got sick, I actually woke up to him shaking away an itch and coughing and something in me just knew that was it for him, as if these two perfectly normal things weren't perfectly normal that night.
Alas, it was rough a rough one for me anyway. After spending his last 20 hours on a mattress on the floor with him, we had a vet visit at home to put him to sleep, and he was never in any significant pain or afraid, just tired. It was a good end for the goodest of boys.
After, I had a short cry, felt better and had a magnificent time going to the store and getting some fresh air, then had a HORRIBLE night sobbing ugly on the floor, after which I slept for nine hours like a baby. The next morning, I was fine, then wasn't, then was again, then wasn't, went to the store and felt like a bag of bricks. The next morning, didn't get out of bed for six hours, because everything was so fucking pointless and there's nothing to get up for anyway. I drank about one fifth of the amount I should have during this time and the idea of having fluids made me feel ill.
Now, for the past two days, I've been feeling perfectly fine. I keep jolting to some awareness of, god, where's the dog, did I forget him outside? Oh... right. But aside from that, I haven't felt any significant urge to fall off my feet and cry on the floor until I'm gagging. However, I'm now apparently unable to sleep entirely. Back to my old insomniac ways of not having more than 4 hours of sleep a night. As a bonus, my body has no idea whether it's supposed to be sleeping at night or in the morning. Prior to last Friday, my sleep cycle was around "sleep at 10 in the night", and now it's "sleep at 6 in the morning but still wake up as if I went to bed at 10 in the night". I have no idea how to fix this and frankly, I don't care enough to, I'm too tired, I'm too struggling to adjust to my new normal to bother with something as destined to fail as trying to negotiate with my sleep issues.
But it's very "convenient" that this hit exactly when I stopped showing symptoms emotionally. It's very interesting that this hit exactly when I started showing symptoms of dissociation - thinking I just "forgot" the dog, or "lost" the dog, when I can't see him in the house. Very curious, very interesting indeed. And very interesting that all of the above happened right when I gained access to my usual methods of coping with distress, which is video games; the past couple weeks, I've been nearly entirely gameless due to a broken video card.
Funny how these things "coincide".
In all seriousness, though, I'm proud of the grief work done in this house while we had access to it. We're long-time users of the Calm app, and it has been amazing during this time. Not only that, but despite being generally aversed to emotions, particularly strong emotions, and especially grief, guilt, and anger - we've truly felt all of these things very profoundly and allowed it to happen.
So, maybe when the feelings come back from the war, they'll be at least half-handled already.
Btw, if you have not had tragedy dropped on you before, grief does fuck you up in unexpected and physical ways. If you can’t sleep or sleep more than expected or have more or reduced appetite, or energy goes weird— your brain just had a bunch of emotions dropped on it and sometimes it reacts by hitting every button in your brain. It will pass. Just try to not get too frustrated with yourself.
It’s also fine if you feel normal. Grief literally hits everybody differently, and some people are made to be able to to keep the farm going the day after a death, and some of us turn into sleepless gargoyles and get really into trying to help, and some of us are just unspeakably sad. Grief is weird. Be kind to yourself.
72K notes
·
View notes
Text
uhhggg... I want to post, be happy, talk with people, genuinely express myself and all the sorts... but fuck me, nobody I live with is even open to the idea of commmunicating openly.
(after the rant post) hehehoo, I am drained from letting my emotions run wild... I don't particularly care if anyone reads this, it's all deeply personal but I just needed to scream it all out into the void of the internet.
Rather disjointed thoughts strung together.
WARNING: TACTICAL RANT POST inbound...
My mom literally went out of her way to make our weekly grocery trip shorter because I expressed that I didn't enjoy her telling me off for assuming (a human function I was taught to do to seem normal) she would get premade pizza dough (like she has for my whole existence) when I wanted to make pizza instead of making my own dough (which I have done before after SAYING I wanted to). She admitted to ASSUMING I wanted to make my own dough because "you like to play around in the kitchen"
SO FUCKING CONDESCENDING!!!
THEN! THEN!!!!! my STEP FATHER decides to speak for me after I make perogies from SCRATCH (was walking around the kitchen for ~4 hours) and ended up with my brats being RAW in the middle. My grandfather (who I don't mind, but am awkward around because he blatantly supports people and things that don't like me very much) was commenting through the afternoon and evening on my cooking and politics. After my step father (who mind you has made no effort to bond with me in the 14 years he has been in my life until now when he complains to my mom that he doesn't feel like I like him very much and he wants to come to the bookstore with us... and when he did he didn't add anything, in fact he made it more stressful by dragging me into the spirit halloween) awkwardly kept commenting that "it's okay to mess up" and "you're still learning" and all that bull shit that he says to try to seem wiser, my grandfather walks through the kitchen and comments about how smokey it was (burnt the brats while cooking them) and this cunt has the audacity to speak for me and say "it's all a part of the learning curve pops" and i cannot help myself but hunch over the stove clenching my fists stopping myself from bursting out to avoid another situation because these people hate when I am calm and I tell them how I feel.
do they have no awareness? for the past 3 and a half years I have sung the praises of speaking with eachother and communicating feelings, my therapist a year ago fully agreed with me and told me to do what I had done in the past, calmly bring up the points of contention (and while me 5-6 ish years ago wasn't so elegant and kept the blame on specific people I haven't done that recently) but still, my family cannot stand being confronted with the fact that they are not perfect, even if they claim they aren't. I haven't even brought up the heavy hitting stuff that made me denounce them when they pinned me down and tore my only friends away from me (literally, had a group chat of friends on my phone and because my rp bio had "girlfriend: taken" in it I was pinned down on the ground and was searched for my phone... love knowing the fact my mom was almost an FBI agent until she got pregnant with me :) ).
i'm going to keep venting, i've been at the breaking point for a few days now and I need it.
The fact that I am what stopped my mom from pursuing the life she wanted to live has done numbers for my self confidence. being told that "you look just like your father when you get mad" makes me ask why I wasn't fucking aborted or put up for adoption. That gets into the territory of darker thoughts that I don't want to go down.
Recently the thoughts that I should have killed myself are surfacing again because now I can't let myself do it, I recognize the value of my life and it makes me sick that I am such an ambitious person for wanting to save someone's life. That is my goal in life, even if it means just adopting a kid and giving them a good life. Hell I fucking was so delusional one day that I imagined a future like that and I had to slap myself upside the head because I have no right to fantasize like that.
I have also recently come to terms with my relationship with religion. I don't particularly have any faith in 1 god, or religion, but I know that I do not have any place in any sort of paradise. I am a betrayer, out of cowardice I ran away and after attempting to run back to the person I can confidently say I loved and still hold feelings for, I even messaged them multiple times without a response before running away the next day, being unable to bring myself to face absolution. The way I speak of them in my head is almost reminiscent of a knight would his charge, I am a deranged fool.
I have come to realize while writing all of this, I crave so much more while saying I don't deserve shit.
I haven't been able to joke around with friends for years, whenever a dirty joke pops into my head I can't just say it I have to trap myself in the corner of my room and giggle to myself as I develop unhealthy coping mechanisms like parasocial relationships. I haven't made a new friend since the beginning of highschool and I got my ged last year.
and of course when I had a group chat of people I actually conversed with during the summer, we all fell apart after 2 of us left the group chat. tldr we were all doing a group rp scenario (first one in years i was interested in and had the confidence to partake in while I was away from home at work).
I miss working... election season makes it so hard to get good work and the places I want to apply is hours away from home.
ANOTHER THING I REMEMBERED THAT MAKES ME MAD!!! My parents are all like "well we didn't get gifted a car for our birthdays when we were your age" but aren't your jobs as parents to make your children's lives better than yours? They've known I've wanted a motorcycle for YEARS and my grandfather has had an extra (not too heavy) motorcycle since before i was born. I now have the money saved up to potentially buy that motorcycle and make it my own, but the thought still counts.
I think I don't deserve the title of a "self made" man, (I don't even think of myself as exclusively a man) but I think I deserve the title of "Independent" because my parents have refused to play a positive part in my life.
In the tale of my life they are not going to be major roles for more than 3 chapters. Not that my life will be a tale of any renown, but the thought still counts...
I so strongly desire to love and be loved, so I hide this sentiment in the bowls of this post so that one day someone may know my desire.
tomorrow i vote for the first time in my life. i wish i was able to drive already so i can do this alone. it would provide me so much clear mindedness. i am going to dress up a bit so I can feel like me when i do it.
god, how i want to just let Koda know how much I still love them. I need to get out of this damnable house so I can cry to them asking for not forgiveness but a chance to get to know them again. I think it's been around 4 years since i ran away from them, and 6 since we met. I need to at least know that they are alive and well.
0 notes