#it's not even that he's like *mean* to his friends or isn't trying to help them along to succeed

[rainydayathogwarts]

hi, this is the first time I'm writing a request on tumblr but I really like your writing (and unfortunately I'm very picky about writing styles🫣) I have tons of ideas for one shots in the back of my head so I'm coming to you with this rather simple one: reader x remus

Remus & reader are sth like friends, they have a secret crush on each other; remus is the casanova of gryffindor tower and all the girls (and probably boys) are crushing on him, Remus isn't quiet aware of the impact he has, reader reveals it to him in a convo (maybe while studying?) they're having that everyone finds him attractive and he asks if reader does aswell and so onnnn...

honestly, do with it what you want, I'm sure you will slay it! in case you hate the idea pls just ignore my request haha!⭐️

What about you? - Remus Lupin

summary: despite having a whole fanbase of girls who want him as their boyfriend, remus is only interested in your opinion wc: 1k

The giggles you heard as you walked past a group of girls with Remus had you rolling your eyes, cutting off the middle of your conversation. You couldn’t even have a single trip back from the library without a group of Remus’ fangirls making a big deal over him, but the boy didn’t notice them, only taking note of your unusual reaction.

Remus brushed a hand to the back of your arm, his soft touch stealing your attention from the group of insolent girls. “You alright?” Remus asked, carefully watching your expression change from one of annoyance to empathy. “They don’t bother you?” Remus’s eyebrows furrowed, a crease forming between them “Who?” You glanced around the hallway, looking for another group of Remus’s fans. Finally, at the sight of some third year girls huddled around in the corner of the hallway, nervously glancing towards you both, you nodded your head in their direction, softly elbowing Remus in his side. “You know, your little fanbase of girls?” Remus stopped in his tracks, making you look back at his when you realised his disappearance. 

“My little what?” You laughed at the shock in his voice, repeating “Fanbase. Honestly Rem, it shocks me every time that you don’t have a new girl in your bed every day. You could have the entire school lined up to have a turn with you.” Remus stammered, finally picking up his pace, hooking his arm with yours to drag you back to the common room with him. “You need to start over, you’ve lost me.” He said, coming to a stop in front of the fat lady’s portrait to mumble the password.

“I’m surprised you don’t know.” “Sweetheart, just give it to me straight.” He begged, slumping down on the couch in front of the fireplace and patting the spot next to him. You didn’t fail to take notice of the jealous eyes following your figure as you sat close to Remus. You felt your chest swell with pride, and almost wanted to call out ‘Yes, I’m closer to him than you’ll ever be. Cry about it.’ But there were pros and cons to being Remus’s best friend. Pro: you were Remus Lupin’s best friend. Con: you were only Remus Lupin’s best friend. And you feared that with the discovery of all the girls who wanted to have him as their boyfriend, all you’d ever be was his best friend.

“There’s nothing much to it. You know, apart from the fact that every girl in the castle wants you as their boyfriend.” Remus was silent as he processed the information, blinking slowly. “You know, it’s just always been this way. I think people started realising that you’re more than just a pretty face.” “Pretty face?” He mumbled. “Wait. Every girl in the castle?” You shrugged, replying “More or less. I mean, I can assure you that Lily isn’t one of them.” You both laughed at the comment, an image of the infatuated couple displaying in your head. Remus slid his hand into yours, squeezing it softly. “Well, what about you?” You felt your face immediately heat up at his question, trying your hardest to maintain eye contact with the boy, but you couldn’t help the way your gaze dipped down to look at the way Remus held your hand.

You gulped. This was not the first time you and Remus held hands, not at all. But you’d never held hands in this context, with the boy asking if you wanted him to be your boyfriend. “What about me?” You echoed, returning your gaze to Remus’s eyes. The boy seemed to suddenly get nervous, his face flushing as he began to stumble over his words, voice quieting down significantly. “You said every girl in the castle wants me as their boyfriend. Does that apply to you?”

You were very aware that Remus could probably hear the fast thumping of your heart, and you could too. You only wished you had a trick to know how he was feeling too. “It’s fine if not!” He announced at the same time you said “Only if you want it to!” A painful silence settled between you. You cleared your throat, watching as Remus opened and shut his mouth. He didn’t make a move to say anything, forcing you to speak up. “It’s fine if not…” You started, “Does that mean you want it to apply to me?” 

“I mean, it would be pretty nice if the girl I like wants me to be her boyfriend. But if she doesn’t, I guess it’s…” Remus’s words trailed off as he saw a wide grin on your face. He swallowed thickly, forcing his face to cool down, but that wasn’t possible. Not when you were cupping his cheeks and leaning forward to press a bold kiss on his lips. Remus’s hand curled around the nape of your neck to keep your lips pressed against his, only pulling away when he deemed himself ready. “Let’s go out!” He announced the second your lips parted, standing up abruptly. 

You blinked quickly, looking up at the tall boy and asking “Now?” Remus nodded, holding his hands out for you to take. “Yeah, let’s go out now. On a date.” You took Remus’s hands, letting him pull you off the couch. He let go of one of your hands, the other one sneakily intertwining his fingers with yours, leading you out of the common room. Remus led you onto the Hogwarts grounds to spend time together, but it was impossible to have a conversation when neither of you could take your eyes off the other’s lips. Instead, your first date was spent chasing each other for kisses by the black lake, where watchful eyes allowed the news of your relationship to be spread all around hogwarts by the time you got to the great hall for dinner.

taglist:

@ravisinghs-wife, @amatoanima, @starry-remus, @pain-in-the-ashe, @hiireadstuff, @superlegend216, @treefairy-28, @superlegend216, @kitkatkl

[corvus-ix]

Another You

Yandere Phainon x GN! Trailblazer Reader

Imagine Phainon have two close childhood friend, but he feel so much closer to the other than Cyrene

He doesn't understand why but he just does

Imagine how devetation he felt once he realizes his feelings but it was too late

Everyone and everything he know from Aedes Elysiae including his beloved is now gone

Phainon try not to linger through those memories for it only bring him back to that day

But most of the time he couldn't ignore the ache he feel in his chest

And then

You come, alongside Dan Heng and Caelus that day

He couldn't stop staring, he even try to impress you before Tribbie came up and interrupt them when he realizes what he was doing

Not once did he took his eyes from you, you just look so much like them

But that isn't right, you were suppose to be dead!

He try to start casual talk with you which was easy and it seems that you don't mind answering personal questions but not all questions was answer but he was fine with it

As You answer his question, not only the two of you lookalike but as if Phainon is talking to them at that very moment

Your likes, dislike, your favorite food, preference, it's like you never died to begin with!

And he couldn't help himself, Phainon start to visit and accompany you almost everywhere that rumors start to spread about a Chrysos Heir having a lover

Who could blame those bystanders, the way Phainon approach You is like a man courting his very beloved

Of course these rumors reach Your ears and your try to establish boundaries with Phainon

Phainon was disheartened but he didn't give up, just tome down his actions

And then one day

"I don't know Caelus, his nice and all but I'm starting to feel uncomfortable around him"

"Avoiding him will be kinda hard but he did push the boundaries you set"

"I don't know Dan Heng, NAME kinda have a valid point. Phainon barely leave their side and they way they look at them it's like he's full of...."

The other voice who might belong to Caelus cut off

He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he did and he stay in hope to hear more but he couldn't hear anymore from that cut off

Phainon was afraid, what if you distance yourself from him or worse leave him behind!

His heart won't be able to take it!

Phainon decided that for now, he'll be the ones who make some distance in hope not to scare you away

But one day he'll make sure your never able to leave his side ever again

He'll be damn if he ever lose you all over again

====================================

My original plan:

"I don't know, he remind me of Kevin so much but I know his not him.... Mei killed him long time ago..."

"I understand your anxiety but you shouldn't worry too much about it"

"I'm just afraid if Phainon will ever fall to same path as Kevin fall and I couldn't just watch it happen all over again"

He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he did and he stay

He remind you of someone name Kevin as much as You remind him of Them

You wouldn't mind if Phainon take Kevin place, would you?

At this point Phainon lose much reasoning and believe that your appearance is a gift from the Titans

And the uncanny similarities between the two of you and Him reminding you of Kevin

He'll be damn if he ignore those (non existent) signs and lose you all over again

Phainon is actually motivating me to write something for Kevin

Edit: forgot to add this but the Kevin Reader mentioned isn't HI3rd but the one in Acheron trailer and Acheron mentioned during her and Welt conversation at Penacony

[anonameisadditions]

I would like to bring attention to Halloween Hack, and by extension, Earthbound, which is where all of this Toby Fox moral observation began.

Halloween Hack was Toby Fox's first major project, a Rom hack of Earthbound. It's a sequel of sorts, proposing a version of the story where Ness never returned after finishing Gygas.

Now if you aren't familiar with Earthbound's final chapters, it involves Dr. Andronuts, your nerdy best friend's dad helping you and your crew go back in time to kill Gygas, and this involves transforming the crew into Robots, in a process that's *hopefully* reversable.

But in H.H, the game observes, and dramatizes the actual emotional toll this plan would have on the doctor- that, from his perspective, he just loaded up an entire rocket full of kids and sent them off on a kamikaze mission. In Earthbound, this is treated as part of the same magical silliness the rest of the game utilizes- Its no different than, say, the reversed city of Darkside, or Magicant, its dream world.

But the Doctor wouldn't perceive their own world and choices in such a silly E for Everyone way if Ness and the kids didn't come back. He'd be devastated, wracked with guilt over sacrificing a bunch of innocent kids to try to win a war against an unstoppable evil. Win or lose, he's got kid blood on his hands.

At no point does H.H start lobbying accusations at the player, mind you. It merely presumes that anyone playing H.H will have played Earthbound- and be indirectly involved with what's happened to these (and I cannot stress this enough) FICTIONAL CHARACTERS who you've spent some time with, and then let's you see the results of your agency, as a player, a strange ethereal meta force in EB (constantly talked to by helpful animals and winked at by a variety of strange characters referencing things like B buttons and Inventory Slots). And with this perspective, asks you to put this guy out of his misery.

And by ask, I mean ask. As in, you are prompted whether or not you want to do so.

Why does this matter? Because the premise of a Morton's fork- a proposed scenario where both choices lead to the same outcome- is EVERYWHERE in H.H, Undertale, and Deltarune. And I think this is part of Fox's artistic focus- questioning whether choices actually "matter" in games.

Undertale largely points out that, for the most part, nothing in Undertale actually matters, because at any time, the player can come back, restart the game, and change the outcome of the story altogether. Even a pacifist run can be undone. The only thing stopping you... is you.

But Toby, again, isn't some moral grandstanding idiot. He understands that there's a fundamental difference in ethics engaging with fiction, and thus, replaying Undertale largely is a pure experience- save a few gags here and there beyond the save system, and unlockable Easter eggs, and Goners and what have you.

But what IS asked, implicitly, by the Pacifist run player- an option that's only unlocked *after* beating the game the "right" way- neutral- Is "Why do you give a shit about these fictional characters?"

Let's take a section and realize how strange the Pacifist route is for the Undertale first timer. If you were one of those choice few who got to play Undertale without spoilers, you basically could not avoid having to replay through Undertale if you reached the ending and pursued Flowey's lead of a better ending, due to the pacifist ending requiring you to not kill a single monster. You just finished a 15~ hour video game, and no doubt, in your curiosity in engaging with the game as a game, you used the fight mechanic at least once.

So what answers exist for the player, as a character, to be willing to endure the entirety of a story they already know, to reach a new outcome in the story?

1. You want to see everything the game has to offer.

Notice this is the same explanation Sans gives in the Genocide run to why his fight is so difficult, and designed to frustrate you into stopping. The completionist answer is one that assumes Genocide is the "True" ending of undertale, because once you break that seal, your save is tainted, permanently.

2. You really, really liked the game.

Sure, alright. But why? Was it the pacifism mechanics, that rely on puzzles you already know the answer to? You know everything that's going to happen in the plot, nothing REALLY changes- You just played it, are you that interested in revisiting it?

Which leads to 3.

3. You give a shit what happens to these fictional characters in this fictional world.

And that leads to my point. I don't think Undertale wants you to get lost in the weeds on whether or not it's ethical to kill monsters who are trying to kill you- It's asking you whether you can empathize with characters who are largely irrelevant to you, the player.

Do you really give a shit if a Frobbit is killed? What about Jerry? Do you care if Jerry gets killed? The game largely remains the same either way. It doesn't seem to matter to Sans whether or not you kill a couple of monsters on the way to the ending- He'll impune you a little, but he understands that it's a momentary thing. You'll be back. And if you aren't, well, at least that's the end of the story, and everyone in the underground can finally move on from this whole Destiny thing.

But what if YOU care. What if you give a shit about hurting people? Even fictional characters? Even annoying fictional characters? Do you, as a player, think you should engage with a work of fiction in a game with an ethical constraint, or do you separate your identity from the games you play?

H.H asks "Do you think Dr. Andonuts is responsible for the death of 4 kids in the fight against Gygas? Does it matter?"

Undertale asks you "Do you believe in pacifism in an environment where you can undo 99% of damages you do? Does it matter?"

Deltarune asks you "Do you think choice matters, even if your choices don't matter? Does what you think even matter?"

In other words- If there's a common theme in Toby Fox's creative background, its always the same question- Does choice matter, even when outcomes are always the same? and, to fit it into the original discussion- Does it matter whether you do horrible things to characters who aren't real? And if it does, does it say something about you as a person or not?

I can't stand any work, or an interpretation of any work, which presents the act of viewing/playing/reading the work as a morally bad thing. Like. Those are fictional characters. I'm down to play meta fictional games with you here, but I'm not gonna treat them as moral patients. That's a nonsense position!

If I'm a bastard for watching Funny Games or killing an enemy in Undetale, well you're a double bastard for making the fucking thing! Why did you publish it, if the morally correct thing to do is stop?

[loveandleases]

In a zombie apocalypse, in the style of The Last Of Us, would the Ros manage to survive like in this world, would they give their lives to protect Mc?

I think all of them would give their lives to protect MC. I'm not including Jade in that of course.

❤️ Cam - He would become very resourceful, he's stil hotheaded in his ways, but he is also more cautious of what's going on. Who can and can't be trusted. He'll likely have a few close calls, but I think he would survive. (until much much later and be killed off in a heartbreaking way. but i would never do that so.)

💙 G - They try their best to hide their emotions, how everything is falling apart around them and it only worsens their mood. They would definitely be putting their medical knowledge to good use. Their would be more noticeable cracks in the mask they wear, chipped away by the horror that is now their life. And they would be more honest with themselves and their feelings, because their time is so limited.

💚 Kara - I could see her using her charm to get by, which in her opinion is wasteful of her time and her energy. But if it keeps them safe, then she would have no problem with it. She can be cunning, and I think this would be the perfect time for her to show it. Her dominating personality would really push her to take action, and maybe even cause her to bump head with others.

💛 M - They will pull out some serious zombie knowledge. From the B rated movies they loved before, to anime/manga even games. M really tries to make things make sense. Honestly this spurns their creativity and that is something that would become a bit of a crutch for them, a form of escape. But escaping isn't something they have the time to do, they have to come to terms with whats happening. It would be a trying time for M, and MC would have to help them through it. M isn't always happy-go-lucky. They've dealt with horrible situations before. This is just another facet of that, and they would deal with it. And become someone that MC could really depend on.

💜 Isaac - Death they know oh too well. It's already shaped them in ways they've still not dealt with. (certain spoiler things about Isaac would come in helpful navigating this new life) Isaac would constantly be worried about MC. Especially when they've come to terms with their feelings. To the point they would make some dumb choices that could cost them their life. But if it means MC is safe... then it's a cost Isaac would pay ten-fold. They would be really good at bartering, and likely become a runner. Dangerous but the pay is good. It at least gives them some stability. There isn't one decision he makes that doesn't take MC into consideration.

🖤 Ardent - (this idiot would get himself killed because he doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut.) The good thing about him, he paints a very dominating image. One that many would think twice about trying to take advantage of. Not to mention the way he talks, with bite to his words, Ardent makes more enemies than friends. But that's fine, because friends close, enemies closer. This way, he knows who to suspect. I think he would likely lose Cupid, not because she dies but because he wants her safe, and Ardent knows its not safe to be with him in the city. That would really break him. Which means it's a good thing he has MC. Ardent would be the type to push others away, thinking it's for their safety, but MC would be the one to remind him that they’re capable of making their own choices and don’t need him to shield them from everything.

[hrizantemy]

I was searching for quotes to talk about something else, and while I was searching, I found this, and now I wanna rant cause it pisses me off.

“There were only a few blocks in the city like that. When I’d asked Rhys about them, about why they had not been improved, he merely said that he had tried. But displacing people while their homes were torn down and rebuilt … Tricky.” (Chapter 4 of ACOFAS)

So... Rhys was aware that people, other than Nesta, lived in the same apartment complex as her. He also understood that it was tricky to renovate, much less tear down, an entire apartment building that people lived in, even to improve it. Yet, it became no problem when he needed to punish Nesta.

He set his plan into motion the day before the intervention, meaning the residents got a one day notice that their home was being torn down. More over, there's no indication that he found them somewhere else to stay, or if it would be acceptable to them. I mean, with a day's notice, they don't really have a choice, do they? It's that or the streets.

On top of that, he didn't even rebuild or renovate them for the original tenants to move back into. It was a shelter for those displaced by the war, which is all well and good, but where have those people been in the last year, while Feysand built their fifth mansion? In the teaser at the end of ACOFAS, Cassian is about to knock on Nesta's door, and as he does, he acknowledged that both the town house and house of wind are empty, because they all stay at the river house, so it wasn't either of those places, even though the citizens, seemed to be able to come and go from there freely.

“As High Lady, I hosted weekly open audiences with Rhys at the House of Wind.” (ACOFAS Chapter 4)

If I remember right, the go there for star fall too, so clearly there isn't an issue with people coming and going. Was there some secret exit Nesta was never told about? How do people not find the entire thing suspicious?

And let’s not forget—the entire intervention was planned behind Nesta’s back. She had no warning, no say, and no chance to prepare. Rhys had already decided the day before that she was losing her home, meaning that no matter what Nesta said or did in that room, the outcome was set. This wasn’t an intervention; it was an ambush. They gave her an illusion of choice while making it clear there was only one “acceptable” answer: obey or be cast out. And worse? The others just stood by and let it happen.

Feyre, who should have understood what it felt like to be powerless, didn’t hesitate to use her High Lady title to force Nesta’s compliance. Cassian, who knew how much Nesta hated the House of Wind, didn’t argue against her being trapped there. Amren, who claimed to be Nesta’s friend, mocked her in front of everyone and stood with them instead. And Rhys? Rhys acted like he was being merciful, like this wasn’t about control, as if tearing down an entire apartment complex overnight wasn’t an extreme punishment over drinking and meaningless hookups.

And let’s talk about the hypocrisy of the Inner Circle’s “concern.” They spent months watching Nesta spiral, judging her from a distance, but did any of them try a real, genuine conversation with her? Did anyone sit her down before this and ask her what she needed? Offer her options that weren’t just “get better on our terms or be exiled”? No. Because it was never about Nesta’s well-being. If it were, they wouldn’t have waited until they were personally inconvenienced to act. They wouldn’t have forced her into a place they knew she’d feel like a prisoner. They wouldn’t have ripped her home away from her overnight without a second thought for the people who lived there.

The worst part? Rhysand frames it like this was some great kindness, like they saved Nesta from herself. But you don’t save someone by taking away their choices. You don’t save someone by punishing them for grieving the wrong way. You don’t save someone by isolating them under the guise of help. What Rhys did wasn’t help—it was control wrapped in the pretty lie of “what’s best for her.” And the fact that nobody in the Inner Circle questioned it? That just makes it even worse.

What makes it even more infuriating is how Rhys gets to play the benevolent ruler while doing the exact same things he would never let another High Lord get away with. If Tamlin had done something like this—had forcibly removed a vulnerable person from their home under the guise of “helping” them—everyone would be up in arms about how controlling and abusive it was. But because it’s Rhysand, the so-called progressive, feminist ruler, it’s somehow acceptable? It’s somehow for Nesta’s own good?

This wasn’t just about Nesta—it was a show of power. It was Rhys reminding everyone that he had control over them, that their homes, their choices, their lives were ultimately in his hands. If he could do this to Nesta, Feyre’s own sister, then what chance did any regular citizen of Velaris have? He made a conscious choice to tear down that apartment complex overnight, without warning, to send a message. Nesta wasn’t just being punished—she was being humiliated, made an example of, and the collateral damage? The people who also lived there? They were just an afterthought.

If this shelter was so important, why wasn’t it prioritized before? Why wasn’t it part of the many rebuilding efforts after the war? Why did it only become urgent when it gave them an excuse to strip Nesta of her independence? They had the time, the money, and the resources to build an entire mansion for Rhys and Feyre, but they couldn’t be bothered to create a shelter for displaced citizens until it served their agenda? It just proves that this was never about doing what was right—it was about controlling Nesta under the guise of righteousness.

They gaslight her into thinking this was all her fault. That if she had just behaved the way they wanted, if she had just healed the way they deemed acceptable, none of this would have happened. They make her feel like the problem, when in reality, she was a grieving, traumatized woman who needed support, not exile disguised as an intervention. But no, instead of meeting her with real compassion, they met her with control, force, and punishment. And somehow, Nesta is the villain? Absolutely not.

They rip away her autonomy, humiliate her, isolate her in the House of Wind, and then act like she should thank them for “saving” her. But saving someone means meeting them where they are, not dragging them somewhere they don’t want to be and forcing them into a version of healing that only benefits you. And let’s be real—their idea of “healing” was never about what Nesta needed. It was about making her palatable to them, easier to deal with, more like who they wanted her to be.

And what really gets me? The double standards. Rhysand and Cassian both use drinking and sex as coping mechanisms, but when Nesta does it? Suddenly, it’s a problem. Suddenly, it’s out of control and dangerous. Cassian drinks just as much, but nobody’s forcing him into an intervention. Rhysand literally spent years letting his trauma dictate his choices, but Nesta doesn’t get that same space to process? Instead, she gets punished for grieving the wrong way.

Let’s talk about how the Inner Circle treats Nesta’s trauma like it’s something she owes them to fix. Like she should be getting better on their timeline and in a way that makes them comfortable. But what did they ever do to actually help her before this? Feyre never once genuinely tried to reach Nesta without judgment. Cassian would show up to her apartment when it suited him, but did he ever try to truly understand why she was pushing everyone away? Amren, who Nesta thought was her friend, turned on her the moment she didn’t act how Amren wanted. And Rhys? Rhys had been looking for an excuse to control Nesta from the moment she refused to bow to him.

What’s even more disgusting is how they used Feyre’s pregnancy as a weapon against Nesta. As if Nesta, the same person who risked her life to save Feyre twice, would ever wish harm on her or her child. They act like she’s a danger, like she’s this uncontrollable force, when in reality, they just couldn’t stand that she wouldn’t submit to their version of what a “healed” Nesta should look like.

The truth is, they didn’t want Nesta to heal—they wanted her to conform. They wanted her to stop being difficult, stop reminding them of their own failures, and stop making them uncomfortable. And that’s not love. That’s not care. That’s control. They acted like she was choosing to self-destruct, like she was deliberately making their lives harder, when in reality, she was just drowning and no one threw her a lifeline until it became inconvenient for them. Where was this intervention months ago, when she was spiraling? Where was this support before they decided she was an embarrassment? They didn’t help her because they cared—they helped her because they were tired of dealing with her.

Rhysand’s entire inner circle is made up of people who have coped with their trauma in violent and self-destructive ways, but only Nesta gets treated like a threat. And the fact that they expect her to be grateful? To look back and thank them for tearing apart her life, forcing her into isolation, and treating her like a burden?

[frostbiteisthenewjackieshauna]

A fractured line

summary: after your boyfriend breaks up with you, you find solace in your sworn enemy (and realize that obsessing over a girl for years isn't very straight of you)

a/n: listennn, I promise this is a Nat fic and I tried to keep the Travis part as short as possible, but there's tension between them from the beginning. it's also the first full length fic I've written in almost two years so be gentle guys!! constructive criticism is always appreciated! also if it does any good I already have an idea for pt 2 that involves sesbian lex and angst so let me know if you'd be interested in that!

warnings: break ups, shrooms, comphet reader, injuries, angst, no smut in this one, obviously swearing, bickering, reader has a redemption arc- mean girl!r in the beginning, mention of a fight- I think that's about it!

word count: 8.7k

You laid in Travis’ lap by the lake, feeling his slender fingers rake through your hair as you watched the illuminating sunset before you. Maybe, just maybe, if you were on a field trip with your friends from back home, sneaking in booze and huddling up to him on the drive home, you’d think this place was beautiful

“It’s getting colder” He said in a raspy voice above you

“Yeah, guess it is” You said, not taking your eyes off of the beautiful sky “No game huh?”

“Nope.” He said, feeling almost butthurt

“We’re so fucked” You said with a snort. You never had an issue with being mean blunt, even though it always sometimes sounded bitchy and outright rude. You were almost lost in your thoughts, but then felt him lean down awkwardly to press a kiss to your lips.

Truth be told, the only reason a girl like you started dating a guy like Travis was to get closer to his dad (and maybe become team captain). He didn’t question it much— dating someone as pretty and as popular as you was the usual Wiskayok boy’s wet dream. It worked well enough, coach did seem to favor you and you being the bitch you are, didn’t feel bad for Travis at all, but it had come right back to bite you in the ass— realizing you were falling for him was like a cruel punch to the gut. It was all you could think about, you never caught feelings for anyone before, not really, all you ever did was try to get something out of someone, but what does any of it matter out here? What do you matter, what is even the point of—

“You okay? You look like your head might explode” He said, you finally looked up at him

“Nothing, nothing I’m fine” You bluffed, looking back at the sky

“You can uh— you can talk to me y’know?” He said, something like that sounded a little wrong coming from him

“Mhm” You hummed, looking back at the sight before you

You heard a bit of ruffling signaling that someone was approaching you and you raised your head from Travis’ lap, sitting up next to him

“Ugh, it’s you” You groaned. Natalie Scatorccio. You didn’t like most of your teammates anyway, but she was something else completely. There was something about her that drove you crazy and you had no idea what it was.

“Nice to see you too Y/N” Natalie said with a scoff “Came to get you. We need your help with chores” She said after which you let out a dramatic groan, laying back down

“Sweep the fucking porch yourself” You called out, putting on Travis’ discarded flannel as it was getting chilly

“Oh you’re not sweeping the porch, princess” She said teasingly “You’re helping Shauna carve up the deer”

“I’m absolutely not doing that” You said, not bothering to get up, all while Travis watched the interaction with immense amusement

“What? It’s not organic or somethin’?” Natalie questioned, walking over to you, you stood up, tugging Travis who was now standing right behind you

“Yeah! I actually care what goes in my body!” You said with a snort, seeing her eyes darken just a little

“You’re such a bitch. Seriously, fuck you.” She said, trying to appear intimidating, though it wasn’t going too well. After a beat she walked off and you huffed out a laugh

“She’s not that bad, y’know?” Travis said and you turned around to face him. You hated your soft spot for him

“You wanna take her side now?” You said, deflecting. So typical.

“I didn’t say that, I’m just saying, you’re even meaner to her then the others. Plus, didn’t you say you wanted to try to be nicer and all that?” He said, at which you just chuckled, looking up at him

“This lighting is agreeing with you”

“Why thank you”

____________________________________________

Next morning, everyone gathered in front of the cabin, watching Taissa as she announced her plan to go searching for help. It was ridiculous, really. You all knew there effort would be fruitless, and that it was a huge risk.

“Like I said, we’re not on an island. If we go south we’ve gotta run into something eventually, a road, a town, anything!” She said, trying to reason with the girls. Safe to say, Van was very opposed

“Okay but you can’t just take our stuff” You said, leaning forward as Travis’ hand traced patterns on your lower back

“Yeah, I’m all for what you’re trying to do Tai, but the gun has to stay” Natalie said, you almost scowled at the thought of having the same idea as her.

“Then I’ll take some things that we don’t use every day. The compass, one of the axes—“ Taissa started again

“There’s a flair gun at the dead guy’s plane” Jackie chimed in

“Don’t tell me that you of all people are on board with this.” Van said in disbelief

The conversation flew by from then on, you completely zoned out.

Soon enough, you made your way to Travis’ room, seeing him packing a bag. What the hell does he think he’s doing?

“What are you doing?” You asked him as your eyebrows knitted together

“Oh uh— not to sound like a sexist asshole, but I think they could use a guy out there” He said as you sat on the bed

“You’re leaving?” You asked, sounding upset, the tone surprising both of you “I’m pretty sure they’ll be fine on their own”

You took the parfume he was going to pack, fiddling with the cap

“Yeah but still, the more people there are—“ He started, seeing the look in your eyes. You glared at him like he was saying the most ridiculus thing known to man

“I— Travis, don’t. Please, okay? Let them go through with their dumbass ideas, you don’t have to be part of it. Stay with me.” You said with an involuntary pleading gaze. It didn’t take him much convincing to stay- your puppy eyes and soft voice were things he rarely witnessed, and he took note of how genuine you really sounded.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He said softly, you got up on your feet, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips against his. His hands landed on your hips as he kissed you back just as eagerly. You smiled into it, breaking the kiss while his hands stayed where they were. You were still just a few inches away from him, giving him a small smile. These were the kind of moments you relished in. You brought the forementioned perfume to your nose, sniffing it and and grimacing

“God, this is gross” You said putting the cap back on and tossing the bottle onto the bed

“Yeah, my mom gave it to me before we left, thought it’d be a good disinfectant or something” He said, smiling involuntarily as the pads of his thumb rubbed your clothed hips

“I think you’d actually make it worse if you put this on someone”

You two heard commotion outside, signaling the girls were saying their goodbyes

“Got anyone to bid farewell?” He asked jokingly

“No.” You answered simly with a smirk, kissing him again as you both fell back on the bed

He started peppering kisses all over your face and neck while you laughed, holding onto his shoulders

“Travis!! There’s a number of girls in this fucking cabin, I would not hear the end of it” You said, still chuckling. The boy above you let out a dramatic groan into your neck but hovered back up to kiss you once more

“I’ll go see what’s going on” You said, getting up. You did turn around once more before you left, seeing him grin like an idiot. When you left, you seemed to walk into an intense conversation shared by none other then Jackie and Shauna. Come to think of it, Shauna had been weird since the whole ‘shark week’ thing. Seemed almost tense, though it was very subtle.

“Y/N, hey. Uh— a bunch of us are gonna go to the lake, you wanna come?” She asked, earning a sharp look from Jackie, simply for inviting you

“Yeah. Yeah, sure” Shauna was one of the girls you got along with fine, though the same couldn’t be said about her best friend. Jackie was someone you truly resented, it’s like everything you longed for, she got, everything. Of course you could never say that out loud. It’d make you seem awfully insecure- which you definitely were, but no one needed to know that. Shauna seemed to have picked up on the slight tension in the air, which became more unbearable as each moment passed

“Let’s just go, okay?” The brunette said, hurrying off to get dressed

As you got dressed and went down to the lake, you started a casual conversation with Lottie— people had noticed you became nicer out here. Maybe it was the impending doom, or maybe just the fact that you’d go nuts if you didn’t talk to anyone. They weren’t sure, didn’t care what it was and definitely didn’t voice it. Most of the girls were simply glad they got to see the unguarded version of a person that most of them knew since kindergarten. But God bless Lottie, she was eagerly talking about something, but you were too focused on someone else to even notice.

“Nat looks nice without all the makeup, right?” No no, there was no way you just said that out loud, or looked at her enough to notice, was there?

“I- yeah, guess so” Lottie, being nice as she is said

You mumbled a ‘yeah’ as Lottie carried on with whatever she was saying, not being able to help your eyes which wandered back to Natalie. Whenever she was around you she had her guard up, and this was the first time you’ve seen her laughing and having fun with friends. She always fascinated you in a way. Her careless attitude and aloof demeanor were something not many people had the courage to show. You wondered how, maybe even envied her for it a little. But not the way you envied Jackie. It is a hard feeling to explain.

“Wanna go into the water?” Lottie asked, snapping you away from your thoughts

“Huh? Oh- oh, sure” You said, getting up

She soon disappeared to go talk to Laura Lee, Lottie that is, while you teetered on the edge, the lake being cold and all.

“C’mon, don’t be a wuss!” Natalie yelled while you graced her with an eye roll as a reply

You made one more step and sighed— which soon turned into gasp at the feeling of being splashed with the frigid water by none other then-

“Natalie what the fuck?!”

“Dude it’s for just shits and giggles!” She yelled out with an eye roll of her own “Just get in here!” She spoke again. She was being actually kinda nice, which made you think for a moment, but then you remembered what you’ve been trying to acomplish— be at least civil to people. Nat was definitely a good place to start, so you held back a snarky remark or an uncalled for insult and just jumped in. It wasn’t a welcome sensation, to say the least.

“Get on top of Nat, we’re playing chicken!” Shauna said, hung on Jackie’s shoulders. You did reluctently climb onto Natalie while Lottie and Laura Lee cheered. You pushed Shauna with all your might, laughing and raising your arms up once you defeated them. You could feel and hear Nat laughing under you as she tapped your thigh. The slight touch sent a shiver down your spine, but that’s obviously because her hands were cold.

“Good job!” She said, seeing Jackie and Shauna swim out

“Yeah yeah” You muttered, but before you could finish, she threw you off her and into the water. You let out yet another surprised gasp as your back scraped against the rocks underneath the water, though you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were finally letting yourself be free for a little, and fuck did it feel good. The both of you laughed, holding each other underwater since she did fall on top of you.

“Wait wait wait—“ You started, fixing her eyebrows that were all mussed up, all while her eyes raked over your face, which you didn’t seem to notice.

“Uh- thanks.”

___________________________________________

The day went on, and after a couple of hours well spent lazing around and playing games, you lot did agree it was best to head back and start on “dinner”. You put one of Travis’ many flannels over your bikini (that was originally meant for the hotel pool) and grabbed your bag, walking back after.

“Hey! Wait up!” Natalie called out, rushing a little to catch up to you

“You talkin’ to me?” You questioned, turning around and slowing down a little

“Yeah, obviously…anyway you uh— you wanna go berry hunting before sundown? Could be fun” Nat asked with a tinge of hope and a small smile

“Yeah, no. Not my idea of fun.” You responded, turning back and walking now that she caught up and was by your side

“Well what about a card game or something before dinner? I just figure coach would—“

“What do you want, Natalie?” You asked, a bit annoyed, stopping in your tracks

“I was just—“ She started, but you cut her off

“We’re not friends…I mean— you know that, right? Jesus.” You stated bluntly

The blonde snorted before responding: “Yeah, we sure aren’t.” Nat said bitterly, walking off, or better yet, stomping

As soon as you all got back, you went to the room Travis slept in, seeing him reading a book. He looked kind of nice like this- without a care in the world, even though there was a lot to care for

“Hey, d’you have fun?” He asked, looking up and smiling softly. He probably didn’t even realize it.

“Yeah, I’m exhausted.” You said, dropping the bag on the floor and plopping down on the bed immidately

“No no no- don’t get the bed wet!” The boy exclaimed, which was valid, yet you did groan at having to get up again so you just dramatically rolled down, hitting the floor with a thud

“You are so extra.” Travis told you, chuckling, “And you need to stop stealing my clothes, I will run out of things to wear”

“You? I only packed clothes for a week! I’m actually going insane!! And I miss conditioner…and blowouts, and face masks. And cheeseburgers, I should’ve never held back” You stated groaning, the boy above you just chuckled at your little rant. He looked at you like you hung up the stars, which was cute in a way. However, you were so used to that look by now, you could barely register whether it was genuine. Still, you always felt like he didn't listen. Like- ever. Calling you random and extra were almost the only things in his vocabulary whenever you said more then two sentences.

“Travis! Y/N! Dinner is served!” Someone yelled— most likely Shauna, signaling you to finally make your way over and eat something.

____________________________________________

“There’re no queens in that deck, y’know?” Natalie said to Travis, walking into the cabin, though he didn’t respond

“Wanna try to hunt? I’m goin’.” She said— they were the designated hunters, but it was a bit of an unvocalized rule that one could take a day off if needed

“You go. You’re better at it anyway” He said, still fiddling with the deck

Nat snorted, packing her back before responding: “Your girlfriend is an asshole, y’know that?” The blonde asked rethorically, to which Travis just chuckled

“Am I interrupting something?” You asked, leaning against the doorframe and crossing your arms over your chest

“You’re good.” Travis called out

“And what are you doing this fine morning?” You asked Nat teasingly

“Hunting.” She stated bluntly, walking past you, which earned her a signature eye roll and scoff

“Well she’s got a twist in her panties…you know, I looked through that, there’s no queens” You said to Travis as your gaze softened, sitting next to him

“Oh I’ve heard” The boy responded, looking back at you before leaning in to give you a kiss “You slept through the entire morning, you feelin’ okay?”

“Oh no, yeah, I was just tired after all day yesterday…Any food left?” You questioned with a hint of hope

“Uhh, yeah. Jackie wanted to eat it but Natalie wouldn’t let her for shit.”

“…Oh” Well that did take you by surprise, I mean you tehnically weren’t rude to her but not exactly nice either

“Yeah, I’m gonna go to the lake, check out the fish traps” Travis said,

“Mmkay” You mumbled, giving him a peck on the cheek before he got up.

Now you were left all alone, a tad bit bored— you even considered doing chores, but after eating your hard earned food, definitely.

It felt like a fucking eternity, truly. You figured sweeping the floors couldn’t be all that bad, yet you were huffing and puffing as if you worked on a field all day. Although you could’ve been just biased— as a soccer player you were athletic anyway.

“Oh hey, you’re back!” You said excitedly, noticing your boyfriend had returned, letting the makeshift broom lean against the wall, “Wanna go for a walk? It’s pretty warm— is everything okay?“ You asked, noticing the look on his face that was much colder than the one he usually put on around you.

“Do you have just— like, no shame?” He questioned, leaving you wondering what the hell this was about

“Excuse me?” You asked with a small scoff, going up to the doorway

“Be fucking team captian? That is what you wanted?” He asked in disbelief, towering over you.

At this point, your throat felt dry and you weren’t sure what to do. Fess up? Bluff? Just say you don’t care and leave? But that’s the main issue of it all. You did care, for some reason. And you were afraid of losing him this way, especially out here.

“Look, I’m not gonna lie-“

“No?”

“No. Listen, maybe in the very beginning, yeah, I tried to get closer to your dad or whatever but the more time went on the more I started caring about you and-“ Your voice trembled. It was a weak response, a dumb excuse but it was the only one you could give

“Y/N I thought you wanted to- be together!” He stated, looking you right in the eye. It was always this way with him- beating around the bush before it becomes too much and one of you completely explodes. This time, it felt different, felt more serious.

You were on the spot, unsure of what to do or how to salvage the only relationship that actually meant something to you.

“I don’t know how to fix this. I’m not even sure you want me to.” A beat. “I just— I made a mistake”

“Yeah, well apparently so did I.” He said, throwing his arms up in disdain

“What the hell is that suppoused to mean?”

Your question was left unanswered as the boy simply walked away. You could hear the sound of his footsteps fading, your heart sinking a little more with each one. You hated it, all of it. The fact that this whole thing happened, this gnawing feeling, your eyes which were now watery, the shame and guilt or letting him find out in the first place. How the fuck did he find out?

“Y/N?” You heard a soft voice call out

You didn’t have to turn around as the mystery girl moved to stand next to you, placing a gentle hand on your back

“Nat? What is it?” The whole thing happened in maybe five seconds, but to you it felt like hours

“I heard the— are you okay?” She asked in the softest voice you’d ever heard from her. It took you by great surprise.

You looked at her even though your vision was mostly blurry, she stood close to you, trying to gauge how you’re feeling. There was absolutley no point in lying anymore so you just shook your head, which softened her gaze further.

“No no, it’s gonna be okay, let’s go for a walk, yeah?” She said and, you didn’t even fully register what she said. You also didn’t see her shooting Jackie a sharp glare- in fact, you didn’t notice Jackie at all.

Once you disappeared into the woods, the two of you settled down next to a small stream. It was quiet, and far away from everyone’s prying eyes. The blonde next to you pulled a flask out of her jacket pocket, handing it to you. You silently accepted, taking a generous gulp of…something. It was absolutley disgusting and made you grimace

“God, what is this?” You asked, passing it back to her, she chuckled before answering

“Vodka.” She said, taking a sip for herself

“Right…so how much did you hear?” You questioned, turning your head to look at her

“Not much. Just that last part.” She said, handing you the flask again “So what’d you do?”

You raised your eyebrows and sighed, taking one more swig before answering

“I uh- had a bad reason to get with him in the first place.” You said, practically scolding yourself

“Yeah, I figured it was something like that. But c’mon- it’s so obvious how much you care about him now” The blonde said, moving a little closer to you

“Not to him apparently.” Your voice trembled as your eyes watered again. God, this is not happening, you thought to yourself, not sure whether to be upset or embarrassed.

Here you were, sitting in bumfuck nowhere, feeling like the dirt on someone’s shoe and smuging your ridiculously expensive mascara over Travis Martinez. But there was Natalie too. She let you lean your head on her shoulder while rubbing soothing circles on your back. She made it all a little better. A little bareable.

“Do you think they’re okay?” You questioned after a series of sniffles and soft sobs, doing anything to get your mind off of this

“Hm?”

“Taissa…and the others.”

“Oh. I honestly don’t know.” She said, she knew she didn’t need to sugarcoat it around you. You shuffled just a little closer to her

“Thank you, for this, really.” She tilted her head down to look at you, and realized you were in fact, being genuine.

“Anytime.”

“I feel like- you’re the only person who’s not going insane out here. I mean Jackie and Shauna are being weird and Lottie’s fucking losing it—“ You started, realizing you were ranting

“Yeah, see how nice I really am? I’m sharing my very limited booze with you.” She said teasingly, to which you rolled your eyes, though this time it was playful

“Yeahhh! It’s radiating off of you.” You muttered, casually laying your head in her lap.

At this point, you were embarassed, upset, a little tipsy and definitely got a wave of post breakup clarity, so you weren’t exactly thinking about your course of action, though you did feel her stiffen up a bit. After a beat she eased into it, letting her hand travel lower to rub your back. It’s funny- this was a similar scene from a couple of days ago, though if anyone told you who it’d be with, you’d laugh right in their face. This time you couldn’t gaze at the sky, though you did gaze at its reflection in the small stream of water in front of you.

“How do you do it?” You asked in a low, raspy tone, not letting your eyes move away from the sight in front of you

“Do what?” Natalie responded, her movements stilling for a moment

“Not care. About anything. Or y’know, other people?”

The girl above you huffed in amusement, her gaze softening once you turned to lay on your back, looking up at her

“We all care, Y/N. Some of us are just good at hiding it. You are good at hiding it.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You glanced into her eyes- a beautiful blue which almost matched the sky above you. At this moment it was all erased- the petty fights, disagreements, arguments, icing each other out during practice, almost beating the other up in the locker room after (it only happened once); all gone. There was just a girl above you, she looked like a different person and truly felt like it too. Maybe you were the one that changed. Maybe she was always this way, but you’d never given her a chance. However you swore that if you looked at her from a different angle, you wouldn’t recognize her.

“So are we okay now?” She asked, moving some hair away from your face. Her voice had an uncertainty to it, it wasn’t the first time you went hot and cold on her out here

“Yeah, we’re okay. Friends even?”

“That sounds good.”

“Let’s go back, yeah? It’s gonna get dark soon.”

Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you saw when you got back. You sure did get a few curious and skeptical glances simply for being together, but nobody said anything; They were preoccupied with Misty, Akhila, and Mari who were explaining just what happened to Van. It was gruesome, and it left you wondering how the hell she was still alive. Natalie and you rushed over, gathering any nesseceties to start tearing off into the woods and looking for them, even though you dreaded the impending search.

It was getting significantly darker and the group was losing any hope of finding Taissa and Van anytime soon, or at all. Maybe no one wanted to admit it, but everyone was out of their minds with panic and worry.

“Are you sure this is the way you went?!” Shauna asked Misty

“I- I don’t know, it’s dark, I can’t see anything!” The girl responded, she was cut off by flames that shone distinctly behind the trees.

“It’s them!”

The entire group ran towards their missing friends, catching the two girls collapsed on the ground. It was even worse than you thought- Van was unrecognizable and Tai looked plain exhausted and spent.

You never did well with blood and gore— or anything similar to it, Nat seemed to have caught on it, squeezing your hand reassuringly. Only then you realized she was actually holding it.

She never for a second let go of you, until you made it back to the cabin. You lot arranged a makeshift surgery table for Akhila to stitch Van up. It was a truly nauseating sight, a few girls, including Natalie were holding her down while Lottie, Jackie and you stood back, watching in horror and disbelief. Just as she was halfway through with it, you couldn’t handle it anymore.

You quickly ran outside attempting to get fresh air and take deep breaths, though it was in vain as you were hunched over and holding onto the pillar with one hand, emptying out the contents of your stomach moments after. It’s not like there was much anyway.

As you were finishing up, you heard someone storm out and make their way to you. Until you could make out who it was, they already walked up to you.

“Are you alright?” Travis questioned, placing a hand on your back

You thought for a moment, narrowing your eyes. Like what the fuck were you suppoused to say? How did he even have the balls for this? Anyhow, you didn’t have a chance to respond as today’s knight in shining armor ran out as well.

“Let’s go to sleep, yeah? You need it, after today.” Natalie stated, already pulling you along with her, you just nodded, eternally grateful for her spectacular timing

The blonde entered the cabin with you, dragging your sleeping bag over next to hers. As soon as she did you laid down, and she followed by with you. The couple of you stayed like that for a moment before she spoke up.

“I’m glad we kinda cleared the air up. I mean if you think about it, we’re kinda two sides of the same coin, right?” She whispered with a breathy chuckle

“Yeah, me too. You know, I never really apologized for—“ You started, trying to find the words

“Being an asshole? A complete douchebag?”

“Yeah, that.” You said simply, a small involuntary smile graced your face

“It’s okay. I’ve seen you out here y’know? Like— how you’ve tried to be more calm and shit…Not that I’ve been watching you or anything just—“ Nat’s little praise rant was cut off by an annoyed Mari

“Jeeeeesus, you’ve been fighting for years and wanna have your little heartfelt conversation now? Just let us sleep.”

To that, Nat and you let out another couple of those breathy chuckles before she whispered once more

“Night, Y/N/N”

“Night.” You whispered back, turning your back to her. You could feel her soft breathing even out against your neck as you drifted off, feeling a sense of safety. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time, even before you crashed.

It felt like less then minutes of sleep as you got rudely awaken by none other then Laura Lee, banging…something. You couldn’t make it out, not this sleepy. You groaned, raising your head in sync with Natalie, whose arm was clung lazily across your midsection. The two of you were so close that once you sat up, you could feel her slightly ragged breathing on your cheekbone.

“You’re gonna fly?” The sentance by Lottie took you out. Until just now, you were too drowsy (or maybe just distracted by Nat and your’s proximity) to pay attention to what the blonde in front of you was saying— she wants to fly the abandoned plane?

“But you don’t know how.” Nat said, sitting up straighter

“I’ve read the flight manuel, and I checked the gas tank, it’s full!”

“You cannot be serious.” You stated in disbelief

“Look, I used to watch my grandpa fly, he even let me stir a few times, I know that I can do this! And you can’t deny that Van need serious medical attention.” Laura Lee said. You felt gnawing deja vu, remembering everything that happened just the other day when someone was convinced they could find a way to get the fuck out of here.

“She’s not the only one.” Jackie said. A beat. “Shauna, tell them.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, shooting a look to Natalie, which she returned. After a few seconds of slience, Shauna spoke.

“I’m pregnant.” The statement took everyone by surprise, it was followed up by a few gasps and a very curious Misty Quigley. There were also a few questions, though the only one that truly reached you was-

“Did it happen out here?!” By Mari. The thought and implication of the question itself made your stomach drop a little, though you were very relieved when Shauna replied with a firm no.

“It doesn’t matter when it happened, okay? It just matters that we get them both help.” Jackie said, looking around the room to get her point across

“Wait— if it didn’t happen here, who is the baby daddy?” You chimed in, only half joking, to which Nat chuckled beside you

“It doesn’t matter.” Jackie shot back

“Okay- no, Laura Lee, I’m not letting you do this. It’s not even close to safe.” Coach said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, at least to you

“There’s no safe anymore Coach Scott. Winter is coming, If I don’t do this then- we’re all gonna fucking starve.” The girl shot back at him. Her swearing did take you by surprise. And it’s not like Ben could do anything to stop her anyway. You couldn’t help but feel a flicker of hope at the whole ordeal.

Not more than fifteen minutes later, all of you gathered to help clean up the plane, and take it out of the shackles that the woods themselves created. At this moment, you found yourself talking to Nat yet again.

“Okay okay, what is the first thing you’re gonna do when we get back?” You questioned, tearing the vines around the left wing

“First thing? Oh I was gonna say take a shower but realistically it’ll be lighting up a blunt” She responded with a chuckle “What about you, princess?”

You truly tried to ignore the little overlap your heart made at the nickname she always teased you with, you did.

“Uhh…well mine will be taking a looooong bath. And doing an everything shower after” You answered

“The fuck is an ‘everything shower’?”

“It’s literally everything you can think of doing to butter yourself up. Like- hair wash, exfoliating, shaving and then after a blowout, maybe a face mask or something” You explained, feeling almost too upset by not being able to do any of those things. But you had bigger things to worry about. Like y’know- staying alive and stuff

“Your dreams are much more expensive then mine.” She replied to which you chuckled.

And you didn’t notice. You didn’t notice her eyes lingering on your features because your own lingered on something else. Someone else.

Rather yet, your longing gaze lingered on Travis, who was apparently having a very entertaining conversation with none other than Jackie fucking Taylor. She had to take that from you too?

See that’s the thing about addiction- you never really notice or think about anything else. You didn’t even notice when the girls first called out that Laura Lee was ready to go, you just kind of walked along.

Everyone was hugging her and saying their goodbyes. She embraced every single person without a second thought except you. You saw the glimmer of hesitation in her eyes when she approached you. Could you have been that fucking bad?

You went in and wrapped your arms around her anyway. It wasn’t the time to be petty.

Coach made one last attempt to try and talk the girl out of her risky plan, but she didn't budge. The blonde took off, she was really fucking doing it. She was flying.

Every single one of you were ecstatic, cheering and running towards the edge of the lake. This had given you all more hope then anything else in the past couple of months. You could be back home so soon. A thought that crossed your mind was having a spa day with Nat, you're sure she'd never been pampered that way before. You thought about exploring this new friendship out in the real world, which sent a thrill through you. You reached for her hand since she was right beside you, and she happily held it. Everything in this moment was perfect.

"Is that smoke?" Jackie asked, your brows knitted together as you tried to look for the source of her concern.

You didn't have to look for long. Mere seconds after, the plane exploded with a big flash. The shriek you let out was practically inaudiable compared to the loud 'bang' the explosion caused. You were startled, falling flat on your ass on the cold sand beneath you, the force with which you fell pulled Nat down with you too.

She snuck a hand around your waist, gripping you tightly as you both let out soft sobs of disdain and shock. The sight of Lottie, crumbling down because of the sudden loss was too much to bare. You couldn't even begin to imagine how it must feel, losing a person so dear to you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the crisp morning the sunlight beamed through the cabin, waking you from your restless sleep. It had been weeks after the incident, but the weight of it was still very present. A few girls that were up greeted you, and you grumbled a quiet 'morning' to them. It wasn't good- you simply acknowledged that it was morning.

Your eyes fell to Natalie's sleeping form beside you. She looked oh so peaceful, one of her hands rested on your hip and the other was above her head. Her lips were slightly parted and they formed a small pout. All the muscles in her face were relaxed and her chest rhythmically rose and fell. She was beautiful. You snuggled up to her, hoping to get a bit more rest before the day. You felt her stir a little, seeking your warmth even in her sleep. After a few minutes you noticed her breathing differ, as well as her lips curving into a small smile against your shoulder. The two of you had grown impeccably close since your break up with Travis, the day she comforted you like no one else ever had, or would.

"Hey."

"Hey Nat." You said, turning to face her

"Sleep well?" She asked, removing the hand from your hip and placing it under her head

"Nope." You responded simply, popping the p

"Yeah I figured...I'm starving" She muttered, burying her head further into your shoulder

You let out a bitter chuckle before responding, "Welcome to the fuckin' club"

The two of you laid there for a bit, relishing in the calm atmosphere- knowing it wasn't gonna last much longer.

A few hours had passed by, and the entire group was now awake and huddled by the fireplace while Mari worked on making breakfast, the meal being none other then a bunch of worms Shauna and Akhila brought back. You sat at Nat's feet, hugging your knees close to your chest with one arm as the girl finally handed you your food. Your face contorted in a slight, involuntary scowel at the sight

"Just pretend it's fries or something, yeah?" Natalie spoke above you, to which you silently nodded

"God, I can't to this" Mari said, disappearing for a moment. Once she returned, she had a jar of some kind of liquid with her

"What is that?" "Was some berries I was trying to save, but i think it might've turned into booze? I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use a drink."

"Do we think it's safe?" Tai asked with a hint of reluctence

"Do we care?" Good point.

"I don't!" You called out, extending your arm

"I have a few more." "If we have booze let's have a party." Jackie said in a flat tone- one that wasn't characteristic for her in the slightest

"Yeah, cause we have sooo much to celebrate" Taissa responded sarcastically

"Do we need a reason? We're gonna be dead in a few weeks." Jackie said, which yeah- true, but it was weirdly unsettling hearing it from her. She was the team's spirit, always hopeful and ready to offer reassurence and a smile. Even if you weren't fond of the girl, you wondered what could've changed her perspective so suddenly.

"...We packed dresses for the awards dinner. And it's gonna be homecoming soon"

"There's gonna be a full moon tomorrow" "Well there we go! We have dresses, we have booze, we can decorate...have sort of a moon homecoming." Jackie said, trying to convince the group

"More like a doom homecoming" Taissa said jokingly- though Van didn't seem to find it funny as she practically ran off

"A doomcoming" Lottie said, seemingly a bit out of it, but you did snicker at the idea. And so did Nat.

"Now that's a party idea" She said, looking over at Lottie

You leaned back, resting your head on Nat's knee

"Yeah, alright, a doomcoming- we'll drink rotten berries and celebrate our impending death.”

After that, you found yourself by Natalie's side, looking for branches, twigs, leaves, and little flowers, or anything that could help with decoration, really (which meant she was looking and you were walking along with her).

"So how've you been?" She asked, tearing something off a tree

"You know, you ask me that every day and the answer never changes" You replied, looking down at your grown out and chipped manicure

"Maybe I hope it will." She said sarcastically with her signature grin, turning to face you. Her expression suddenly became a bit more serious "He asks about you all the time, y'know?" She said reluctently, as if she was debating wether to voice it or not

And oh, yeah, him. That. You didn’t really care anymore, as bad as that sounds. Sure, it was tough at times, with him being around all the fucking time, but it had been a month or so, and to say Nat made it all easier is a rude understatement.

"You two really got nothin' better to talk about then me, huh?" You said sarcastically, picking a little white flower from the ground. She chuckled a little before speaking again

"I just thought you might wanna know he does miss you." She said, there was a bitter edge to her tone

“Maybe. But there’s no point in digging through the mud. All you get is dirty.” As you said this, you noticed the look on her face- none other than relief. You just wondered why she’d be relieved you don’t want anything to do with Travis anymore. But of course, you didn’t think too much of it.

"Do you wanna- go together?" Nat asked, fiddling with the makeshift decorations in her hand

"Like to the dance? Sure, I guess. I never went with a friend before." Ohh, you sweet summer child.

"First time for everything I guess" She said, walking again

You followed up behind her, ranting mindlessly about random stuff and the things you missed most about being home. She pretty much just listened, chiming in from time to time. That's what you loved about her, she always let you talk about anything yet never seemed to grow bored. Not only that, but in future conversations she even brought up little details you'd told her. She was listening. Soon enough you got back to the cabin, saying a quick bye to her before going inside.

"You done with that?" You asked Jackie, pointing to her pink caboodle

"Uh yeah, you can have it!" She said with a small smile

You muttered a quick 'thanks' , picking it up and applying a bit of make up, even though you kinda hated having to do your eyeshadow with your hands.

"Looks pretty." The girl said simply

"Thank you." You responded, not taking your eyes off the mirror. This is what you hated most about her- how fucking nice she was. If she was at least a bitch, you wouldn't feel bad about being a jealous idiot. Little did you know why she was being even nicer all of a sudden. But just like everything else, you brushed it off. Didn't think about it at all. Not when someone else was on your mind- there was no room for her.

What you couldn’t stop thinking about was Natalie. She looked, like, pretty today. Like, really pretty. You could only imagine how she’d look tonight. And yeah- you thought about her a lot. Almost whenever she was away, you thought about her. You didn’t know- but she was the same way. Sue you guys! You finally got a good friend that you can rely on and hug and smoke weed with and kiss! Woah- anyway. Yeah, that thought was a momentary lapse. Back to makeup.

Once you were done with all that, it was time to put on your dress. Which you couldn’t fucking zip yourself, ugh.

“Someone? Help please!” You shouted out, being met with hurried footsteps soon enough

“What? What? Oh, right, dress” Nat said storming in- maybe she thought a snake attacked you or something

You just snickered as she walked up to you, standing behind you to help you with the zipper. It felt oddly intense, really. First, she let her hand drop from your shoulder to you hip, then finally dragged the damn piece of metal up your back. If you didn’t know her, you’d think she was trying to act out a scene from a soap opera. But really, she was always this way with you- which is normal! Girls help each other out, is what you learned out here, Natalie just does it better then most. You finally turned around to look at her, raising your eyebrows and giving her an amused grin

"Well you sure clean up well" You said, leaning against the wall and crossing your arms over your chest. And you weren't lying. She looked fucking hot in a leopard print dress.

"Right back atcha...you done with your hair?"

"Uhh yeah, why?" You asked, furrowing your brows before she held a finger up and excused herself, leaving you wondering what the hell she was doing.

It didn't last long though, as she emerged back through the door in under a minute, holding two dainty makeshift tiaras that seemed to be made out of a few twigs in her hands

"I know it's kinda cheesy but- I figured you didn't make anything and all of the girls will probably put something in their hair, so I thought I could make us like- matching ones. You don't have to wear it!" She said, pretty much rambling. All you could think about is how thoughtful this was. And as she said, yeah, it was cheesy, but who cares! This might be your last party ever, might as well go all out.

"No no, Nat, I really love it. Thank you." You told her, glancing at the mirror as you put it on.

"Pretty." She said simply, and you tried to pretend it had the same effect on you as when Jackie said it earlier, or anyone really. Even Travis, though he never said it a lot.

"We should go...make our fuckin' amazing grand entrance and all that." She said, shuffling from one foot to another

"Yeah, let's go"

"Let the doomcoming begin!" Lottie called out as you all entered. It was a good thing, all this. Made you almost feel normal. Y'know- a teen girl, going to a high school dance, longing for a girl, boy.

First that went in were Jackie and Shauna, no surprise there, soon followed Mari and Akhila then Ben and Misty. After them, you and Nat came in while she held onto your arm. The two of you settled into a corner as she handed you a glass of the rotten berries.

Almost immediately after that, a small smile graced her face and she tugged on your arm, pointing back to the entrance. Pointing at Tai and Van. It was such an endearing sight, really.

"Are they-"

"Duh."

*kiss*

*cheering*

"Nat and Y/N too though, right?"

"Oh definitely!"

"Tonight's special, here" Natalie said in her usual sarcastic tone, giving you some of the broth Mari had made for tonight. I mean you were starving anyway, so you downed it almost immediately as the two of you engaged in conversation with some of the girls.

Bit of time had passed, and now that (almost) everyone was well fed, you moved onto the drinking. The berries were fucking terrible, but at least it was something.

"Stop." Lottie started as everyone turned to look at her, "We should have a moment of silence for Laura Lee."

"Yeah."

"To Laura Lee." "To Laura Lee."

Afterwards, the first to speak was Nat, "So, what now?" She asked beside you in anticipation

"Oh, now we just need the DJ to pump up the volume."

"What we need is a slow dance!"

Everyone looked around in anticipation before Lottie started humming 'Kiss by a Rose', to which everyone followed suit until someone played it on their walkman.

Natalie and you awkwardly turned to each other before chuckling. She took the liberty of wrapping her arms around your neck, whereas your hands landed on her hips.

Normally, you would've been seething at the sight of Jackie and your ex right in front of you, but you were too distracted by Natalie's slender frame dancing along with you. Not only did she block the view, but everything else around you. You still did feel a bit uneasy, and you fucking hated it.

"You wanna get out of here? I have real booze." Nat asked, of course she noticed. Fully noticed your discomfort with the situation.

"Please."

The two of you sat on the cold ground, taking a quiet breather, God knows you needed it. Both of you had been so stressed and tired, just like everyone else. Still, being with each other brought you a strange sense of comfort. It was weird- you'd only been friends for about a month, maybe even less, but it didn't make your connection any less strong

"Do you think Travis and Jackie will hook up tonight?" You asked suddenly- you felt strangely lightheaded. Could've been the booze.

"I uh... I mean I dunno." Oh how obvious it was she was trying to make you feel better.

"They probably will, right? He's so stupid." You muttered, bringing your knees close to your chest and resting your head on them.

"Hey, look, who cares, right? He's just a dumb boy, and he has no idea what he's missing." She reassured

"I mean like, yeah, he's a dipshit, but still. I don't even think it's about him, I don't know how to explain it..."

"Well you felt safe with him. Maybe you weren't in love with the person but just, y'know, being loved, liked, whatever. You got off on it." She said, still not drinking. That you noticed, and you were a little proud- she didn't ask for the bottle, not once. "And I don't mean like your puppets and arm pieces back home, more as truly appreciated."

"Damn Nat"

"See? I'm a total philosopher!" She responded with a small grin, one you learned to love

"Yup. Sure are. Oh also!" You started, laying down which she did too, "I don't think I ever like, formally apologized for always being a hugeee cunt. So- I'm very sorry."

"Well you're very forgiven. See how a near death experience softened you? Plus you apologized about fifty times." Nat said teasingly, turning her head to look at you

The two of you were just frozen in the moment, staring at each other whilst you laid so close your arms were touching

"Nat I feel reallyyy weird"

She giggled softly before answering, "You're high, so-"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah uh, you remember that time Misty poisoned coach?" "Mm."

"I think she put whatever that was in the food. Shrooms probably." Nat clarified, her eyes still boring into yours

"Seriously? Is it dangerous or something?" You questioned

"I mean, I don't think you can die from them." She said matter-of-factly

"Good enough for me. Dude this is an amazing buzz" You groaned out, tearing your eyes from hers and throwing your head back

She chuckled softly in response, still looking at you. And she wasn't ogling you or anything, she was fucking admiring you.

"You're stunning." She stated simply, her voice raspy and raw.

"Nat-" You started, but there was no way you could get any words out.

It could've been the shrooms, could've been the literal impending doom of knowing you were a dead girl still somehow walking. Maybe it was the loneliness of having your, admittedly toxic, safety net ripped away from you, or maybe the fact that you became a whole new person in the course of the last few months. You didn't know what it was, but you knew there was some kind of force pulling you towards this girl in a way that was more then friendly. Realizing that in the moment was like a soft caress, like one you'd never felt before. Accepting this was accepting a part of yourself you always knew was there, but it was buried deep down within you. But right now, you didn't care, for whatever reason mentioned. You just saw. You saw a beautiful, sensational girl before you.

Then you felt. You felt your heart do a somersault in your chest the moment you leaned in and brushed your lips against hers.

[channiesunshinx]

𝐹𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓃 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊

Day 5 of Jeongin's birthday week fanfics

Pairing: Jeongin x F!reader Genre: Romance, fluff, coming-of-age Warning: Mild angst, implication of age gap

The annual school talent showcase was buzzing with excitement. Students filled the auditorium, their chatter a steady hum against the occasional bursts of laughter and applause for the performances. Jeongin leaned back in his seat, arms crossed, a bored expression masking his usual cheerful demeanor. His friend Minho had been talking about his duet performance all week, but Jeongin wasn't exactly thrilled to be here. Dance wasn't something he thought much about. That was, until she stepped onto the stage.

The lights dimmed, and a spotlight illuminated the figures of Minho and a girl Jeongin hadn't seen before. Her name flashed on the program: Y/N. The name itself felt like a whisper of something celestial, but it was the girl who carried that aura. She stood tall and poised, her hair tied back into an elegant bun. Her eyes sparkled with determination as she adjusted her stance, waiting for the music to begin.

Jeongin leaned forward instinctively, his curiosity piqued.

The music started—a slow, haunting melody that sent shivers down the spine. Y/N moved first, her body flowing like water, her movements so fluid they seemed almost unreal. Minho joined her, his sharp, precise steps creating a perfect contrast to her softness. They weaved around each other like two celestial bodies in orbit, their chemistry undeniable. But Jeongin's eyes were only on her.

It wasn't just the way she danced, though that alone was enough to leave him spellbound. It was the way she seemed utterly free on that stage, the way her every step and turn told a story, the way her smile lit up the entire auditorium. She danced like she was born to, like the stage was her domain.

Jeongin felt his heart skip a beat, then another.

“She's incredible, isn't she?” one of his classmates whispered behind him. Jeongin didn't even hear them. His pulse raced as he watched Y/N twirl gracefully, her hands reaching out as though she were pulling the audience into her world. For a fleeting moment, her gaze swept over the crowd, and Jeongin swore their eyes met. It was absurd, of course—he was one face in a sea of many—but he couldn't shake the feeling.

The performance ended with a dramatic lift, Minho raising Y/N effortlessly as the music swelled to its final note. The crowd erupted in applause, some even standing to give the duo a well-deserved ovation. Jeongin clapped, too, but his mind was elsewhere.

“Hey, wasn't that awesome?” Minho's voice startled him. Jeongin hadn't even realized his friend had returned to their row, slightly out of breath but grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah,” Jeongin said, his voice softer than usual.

Minho smirked. “Don't sound so shocked. I told you it was gonna be good.”

Jeongin nodded absentmindedly, his eyes drifting back to the stage where Y/N was gathering her things. She laughed at something Minho said as he helped her with her jacket. Jeongin felt a strange pang in his chest—something between admiration and envy.

“Who is she?” Jeongin asked, trying to sound casual.

“Y/N? She's a senior,” Minho said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “She's been dancing for years. She's way out of our league, though, if that's what you're thinking.”

Jeongin frowned. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Minho chuckled. “Relax, I'm just saying she's, like, on another level. Anyway, come on, let's go grab something to eat. I'm starving.”

But Jeongin didn’' move. His eyes lingered on Y/N as she walked off the stage, her laughter echoing faintly even as she disappeared into the wings.

Minhos 'words didn't matter. Jeongin didn't know how or when, but he'd decided right then and there—he wanted to know more about Y/N. 

The girl who danced like she owned the stars. The girl who made his heart race without even trying.

And maybe, just maybe, he'd find the courage to tell her one day.

Fallen for her? Jeongin thought as he stood to leave. Yeah, maybe he had. And he didn't mind one bit.

—————————————————————————

The days after the talent show had passed in a blur for Jeongin, though one image remained crystal clear in his mind—Y/N dancing under the lights, graceful and radiant, like she belonged in another world. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the memory of her.

Jeongin's friends noticed the shift almost immediately. Normally full of playful banter and bright smiles, he was quieter now, lost in thought during lunch breaks and zoning out in class.

It was Minho who finally cornered him.

“Okay, spill it,” Minho said, sliding into the chair across from Jeongin at their usual table in the cafeteria.

Jeongin blinked. “What are you talking about?”

Minho rolled his eyes. “Don't act dumb. You've been out of it for days. You're either in love or failing math, and since you're not panicking over homework, I'm guessing it's the first one.”

Jeongin hesitated, his cheeks warming. “It's... no one.”

“Oh, so it is someone,” Minho teased, leaning closer. “Wait—don't tell me. It's Y/N, isn't it?”

The flush on Jeongin's face deepened, and Minho let out a triumphant laugh.

“I knew it! You’ve been smitten ever since the showcase,” Minho said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Man, you've got good taste, I'll give you that. But, uh, you know she's older, right?”

Jeongin sighed. “Yeah, I know. She's a senior. It doesn't matter. I probably don't have a chance, anyway.”

Minho tilted his head, studying his friend. “What if I told you I could help?”

Jeongin raised an eyebrow. “You? Help me? How?”

Minho smirked. “Y/N and I are in the same dance club, genius. We practice together twice a week. I could put in a good word for you, maybe even set something up.”

Jeongin’s heart leapt at the thought. “You'd do that?”

“Of course,” Minho said, leaning back with a satisfied grin. “What are friends for?”

—————————————————————————

Two days later, Minho delivered on his promise.

“Alright, listen up,” Minho said, pulling Jeongin aside after school. “I talked to Y/N. She knows who you are now, so that's a good start. She said you could swing by the studio after practice if you wanted to say hi.”

Jeongin's stomach twisted with a mix of excitement and nerves. “What did you tell her about me?”

Minho shrugged. “Just that you're a junior, you're nice, and you're a huge fan of her dancing.”

Jeongin groaned. “You didn't say it like that, did you?”

“Relax,” Minho said, smirking. “I made you sound cool. Now go. She's waiting.”

Jeongin took a deep breath and made his way to the dance studio. The sound of music spilled out as he approached, and through the window, he saw Y/N stretching, her hair pulled into a messy bun. She looked even more beautiful up close, her movements effortless, her focus intense.

He knocked hesitantly on the doorframe, and Y/N glanced up. When she smiled, it was like the room got a little brighter.

“You're Jeongin, right?” she said, walking over.

“Uh, yeah,” Jeongin stammered, scratching the back of his neck. “That's me.”

Minho’s voice echoed in his head: Just be yourself.

“I, um... I saw your performance at the talent show,” Jeongin said quickly. “You were amazing. Like, really amazing. I've never seen anyone dance like that before.”

Y/N chuckled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

There was a pause, and Jeongin felt his nerves creeping in again. But then Y/N tilted her head, curiosity in her gaze.

“Minho mentioned you might stop by,” she said. 

“He didn't tell me you were so shy, though.”

Jeongin laughed nervously. “Yeah, well... this isn't exactly my comfort zone.”

Y/N smiled. “It's okay. I don't bite.”

That broke the tension, and Jeongin found himself relaxing. They talked for a while—about her love for dance, his love for music, and how Minho always managed to drag them into situations they weren't prepared for. Y/N was easy to talk to, her laugh warm and genuine.

By the time Jeongin worked up the courage to ask her out, it felt almost natural.

“So, um,” Jeongin began, fidgeting with the strap of his bag, “I was wondering... would you maybe want to grab coffee or something? With me?”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “Are you asking me out, Jeongin?”

Jeongin's face turned red. “I—uh—yeah. I mean, if you don't want to, that's totally fine, I just thought—”

“I'd love to,” Y/N said, cutting him off with a grin.

Jeongin froze, unsure if he'd heard her right. “Wait, really?”

“Really,” Y/N said, her smile softening. “You're sweet, Jeongin. I think it'll be fun.”

Jeongin couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face. “Okay, great! I'll—uh—figure out a time and let you know?”

Y/N laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”

As Jeongin walked home that evening, he couldn't stop replaying the moment in his head. He'd done it. With Minho's help, he'd taken the leap—and Y/N had said yes.

For the first time in days, Jeongin felt like he was walking on air.

Taglist: @mihoonz, @toasty0703, @lplondynnwoo, @loxgirl2004

[halovianarchives]

misunderstandings ft. childe

inspo: “I know you don’t like labels, so will you be my married-person-thing?”

it's hard to be in love with someone who's so obvious that they like you back but refuse to admit it. unfortunately, that's the situation childe has with you. everyone could see the love and affection in your eyes whenever you see the ginger male. but no matter hard they try to make you admit that you like him, you shut your mouth and change the subject.

well, you have had admitted it quietly in your friend's ear once but maybe too loudly because childe's ear perked up when you said his name. you immediately changed the subject right away.

"name? did you say my name?" childe asked as you tried to play off your flustered look,

"no? i was talking about albedo's sister. i mean, it's amazing how hes able to work around her. because um... children! i meant to say children not "childe". you have selective hearing! thats what you have." you spluttered up as amber whispered in your ear,

"good save."

he smiled hoping not in an awkward way and said, "ohh! thats what you mean."

that was so not what you meant and sadly, it's gotten so obvious even the subject of your affection noticed. it's not that hard to notice. even though, your state of denial does annoy him when he tries to court you like a peacock, he does like the chase. but the real question is, is he the prey or the predator in the situation?

you noticed that childe has been... not himself? not at all, in a bad way, of course but it's interesting that your boyfriend is acting like he has fallen in love all over again. do you have to worry about how his eyes only glimmer around you? maybe, but his eyes are pretty. speaking of the devil, he just texted you.

\\ 🍊: name

\\ 🍊: i need to talk to you rq

\\ 🍊: pls 🥲

he's so silly sometimes. you remember when he barely used emojis when you first began being friends. but as your relationship grew, he started to adapt how you texted. it's cute.

\\ 🍓: call?

\\ 🍊: ummm no. come to my house.

\\ 🍓: rn? it's like 7 😭😭

\\ 🍊: yes... well no 😞

\\ 🍊: you know what im coming over rn

\\ 🍓: RN?

\\ 🍊: yes.

what just happened?

---

childe arrived at your doorstep, out of breath. it was cold. too cold and it was snowing. he loves the cold and his favorite memories with you was building a snowman and a snow woman together with teucer. teucer isn't really picky with people but he approves of you a lot. childe remember how happy you were when he told you that his little brother likes to hang out with you. despite it all, he still has the balls to confess and ask you out. or if you don't like labels. thats fine. if he's able to relax in your warmth somehow, he'd be content. no dating? it's okay. he will wait for you. he slipped into his pocket, looking for his phone, texting you.

\\ 🍊: pls open your door.

\\ 🍊: it's too cold and you know i can handle the cold

\\ 🍊: name pls

\\ 🍊: berry berry pls

the door opened wide, the warmth of your apartment escaping to the chilled breeze. he was bundled up in different layers. one hand has his phone the other was buried in his pocket. you were confused. he would be confused too if he was you. he was guessing what kind of thoughts ran in your mind like why you are here out of breath? wouldnt you be sick? while you welcomed him into the apartment, closing the door behind him and helping childe take off one or two layers of clothes. once he was warmed up and comfortable, you asked him, "did you run here? we live 2 hours away from each other. why didn't you take your car? why couldn't just call?"

he nodded off your questions. he looked up at you and you looked kind of pissed and annoyed. "okay, i will answer that if you just listen to me."

your stance changed from closed off to open, you crossed your arms though. "okay?"

"okay. um, i wanted to do this in a nicer and different setting. it'd would be much better than this and i promise i'll do it in a different way too." he looked at you again for approval. your hand moved in a circular motion, signaling him to get to the point. "well, i like you and i think you like me too. i know you don't really like those labels of being-" he fakes quoted with his fingers. " 'together'. but would you be my significant-married-person-thing with me? if you don't, it's fine."

after he got that off his chest, he sighed deeply. he waited for your response. half hoping that he didn't get rejected by you just now. but all he heard was laughing. nervously, he looked at you again. "what?"

"i thought we were together." you sat next to him, trying to snifle your laughs. he could see the tears outlining your eyes. instictively, he wiped off a tear off your face.

you watched how your words finally were processed in childe's brain and you could vividly see a lightbulb light up just now. "what?"

"i thought we were dating already."

"when did you think that???"

"well, in like highschool or middle school, when we were sleeping on my bed for one of our saturday sleepovers. you said, 'name, i want to be together with you forever.' and i replied with, 'i'd like that.'"

childe's face morphed, "but i didn't ask you officially. you knew i liked you from the start???"

"only because i thought we were dating from the start. gosh, my boyfriend is so stupid."

BOYFRIEND?? VGBHJMAKLS;VPNEF L YAYY WHOOSH BOYFRIEND... wait a minute. "if we are dating, why did you ignore me at school and become flustered?"

"good question. i don't remember."

"WHAT???"

"i'm just kidding, childe. also were you dreaming because the only time that happened was like highschool. i feel like we shouldve had a chat about this."

"you think??"

"im sorry childe. here's your apology gift." you pecked his lips. he melted instantly.

"don't you think... this makes you forgiven."

"oh how dare i think that! so... do you want to watch tangled again?"

"yes."

[the-stove-is-divorced]

A this point we’ve got so many threads going, I gotta sit down and focus for them, too, ( ´ ▽ `  )ゝ

AND YEAH EXACTLY? Out of everyone, it genuinely boggles my mind they never connect, especially when Kate’s openly yearns for what Mark can offer? It's concerning now, too ??? (〇_ｏ) Does she understand she can be vulnerable without having a sexual, or sexual and romantic relationship? Does she have any connection outside of TT? Did she ever have one? If she's leaping at possible connections, was she and Eve ever close? Does she feel like she has anyone?There's shit to explore here and the show just casually moves on? STOP. SLOW DOWN. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? I'd even argue Mark needs a friend who also doesn't have a looming, like, threat of romantic connection (cough, Eve, 'cause future!Eve what the fuck), while he's convinced he can't have normal non-heroic friends? They'd genuinely benefit from bonding with another?

AND YEAH? Robot's casually admitting he stole Rex's DNA, is now wearing his face, got swept under the rug TOO QUICKLY? Ain't that WEIRD? Like, it feels we're rushing to establish new dynamics without EVER exploring anything about them. 'Cause you're making such great points, here, why doesn't Immortal talk about betrayal to the TT/New!GoG? Why isn't anybody horrified after being lied to for years? Ain't anybody concerned if Robot would just wear your face what ELSE would he do on a whim? Can they trust him anymore? WHY ARE WE JUST MOVING ON, HELLO? Where's the team break up? Where's the arguments? Where's the bitterness, the wound of betrayal, mistrust? I'd even argue Kate and Mark can bond over thinking you know someone, I'll die on the Make-Them-Friends Agenda.

ALSO, again it goes so fast I didn't even process the weirdness of Samson, 'cause why wasn't he at the funeral? I'm going to go insane over the fact we never got any Samson and Nolan? WHY? They keep just saying things then moving on, like it's just the new status quo. Him clawing his way back for insurance, steady pay, etc, could lead to exploring how TT work for the same thing! How it works. (Like will Mark ever get paid for this stuff?) Also, why wouldn't Mark try clinging to any mentor he could get now he's Dad's the Worst Remodel? Why not grasp onto any help? And the potential for Samson, like the guilty relief? How it could've been you? And then, what to do when powers are back, do you fear your vulnerability more or less? Powerlessness saved you once, no? Even if it's irrational association, since he's got more power now, when they're called to a meeting does he feel wary, knowing that's how it happened? Immortal and Cecil are only ones really paranoid or wary, but give me more. Why isn't there a reaction or exploration with Samson as he was uniquely pushed back and only now, given a chance again, which came after his former coworkers were SLAUGHTERED.

ALSO SPEAK ON IT? I'm far too tired to speak clearly, here, but the lack of any insight on how they function on a systemic, interconnected global level, the utter absence of any politics, even to answer who pays for construction post-battle, baffles me. Yes, yes, Invincible is taking the shape and tropes within heroic genre, but relying on the assumptions of the audience only works so far. It leaves questions on how this universe, in particular, actually operates.

Even if it's one off lines about cost of aid, construction costs, diplomacy, heck, do heroes have to be extra careful in specific countries? If there is a global registry, what qualifies you, and can countries cherry pick whose allowed within for emergencies? What's the law like for this? Is there a United Nations for Heroism? What are the benefits? Pay? Can, and have, heroes have unionized? Do you have to report / file a quota to access said benefits? Patrol hours? Can you be cut from the registry and heroic acts made illegal by financial penalty, or does it mean any costs are billed to you individually? Do they have to give their real identities for said registry, and what happens when there's a data breech? Like, are the GoG called that because they have access to ALL nations to help? What does it mean in the context of vigilantes? Do heroes have ranks? How much information is put on file, accessible?

AND YES. Nolan's "protectiveness" becoming isolation, restrictive. GIMME CONFLICT, PLEASE. YEAH, I'd imagine having a partner is already risking it for heroes apparently, so having a vulnerable child is 100x times. I'd love if hero-parents are an actual rarity, or there being an almost unspoken understanding to retire/break for years to actually be in the child's life, earning Nolan odd looks for not doing so. Like "Oh, you're not gonna...? Hm, I mean, it's your kid!" People are already opinionated on parenting, I'm sure hero parents make it 10x worse. ALSO YES. GDA? Do they try discourage parental leave on some "too many heroes cannot retire at once" type beat? Do they offer "babysitting" services that also act as monitoring?

AND YEAH? I think about that, was Mark an accident? Was raising him too much, considering Nolan's Functionally Over Seas, and Debbie's got her own hardworking career going? I can see there being a frustration with raising Mark alone, and omg, please, I love the idea of him being like GoG's Shared Nephew, or just straight up parented by a whole group of Heroes. Does that mean he, as a baby, was lowkey in a car seat while Darkwing or War Woman flew a plane for a mission? Did they just come over and babysit normally? Did he wander around GDA, does he know the in's and out's of the GoG's base intimately then, to the point it's mundane? As he got older did he ever just stay there after school if Debbie was busy + too young to be home alone and someone was always there? I know Debbie doesn't trust Cecil, but fuck it, was there ever a point he had to babysit? And Debbie lost trust in him, specifically, for anything else after that? Even, back to Samson, when GoG died and Nolan was just "injured" and not being investigated, did Mark call or reach out to Samson? WHAT'S IT LIKE TO HAVE A GOG as a whole network?

Trying to explore every crack in canon just drives me further insane because I want more of what could have been explored and then just isn't?????

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[lovecolibri]

"Jesus, I'm so sorry. I'm rolling very well and I don't necessarily want to be." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Compare this vibe to every time he gleefully tried to kill his besties 🤣

Truly, DaDQ has such a sweet and nurturing vibe as a table full of newbies, and I love it so much!

[eikichi-supremacy]

sick because curly was like "I know Jimmy" but Anya was the only one that really knew Jimmy. I knew you wouldn't let me have the gun so I wanted to at least keep him from getting it. Because she knew she wouldn't do something drastic over losing her job like curly thought. Jimmy would. The way she asked why Curly would do something like this. Praising Jimmy so he'll do the bare minimum. Deciding to end herself before eventually Jimmy killed them all in some way or another. It's like Curly got to see the parts of Jimmy that were palatable and maybe even endearing in some way. But Anya got something that made her ask questions like why aren't there locks on the sleeping quarters and how many days do we have left. Curly got some sort of companionship and Anya got what was real.

[camels-pen]

(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)

I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.

On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"

With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-

for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)

skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa

I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.

(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)

the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-

and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"

Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."

Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"

And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"

"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."

And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.

He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.

Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq

[sturionic]

Activism is not cold-calling.

Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.

I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.

As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.

Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.

IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.

Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.

This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.

Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.

[yuukiiqwq]

Satoru was confident that you liked him back. He was positive. He had no doubt in his mind that you were going to be his pretty little wife. Is he getting ahead of himself? Sure, he is, but he's that confident. That's until he noticed how he hadn't received any chocolate from you.

It was Valentine's Day, and he still hasn't received any chocolate from you. Yeah, he had a mountain worth of chocolate from all those people who gave him it, but where was yours? He couldn't find it anywhere. He was sure that you would have placed your chocolate on his desk since you hadn't given him his. He double no triple checked all the chocolates, yet he could not find the one that has your pretty little name written on it. He continued to search through the chocolate pile for the fourth time today.

He must have missed it, right? Or did someone steal it? He swear he's going to hunt that person to the end of the Earth. Who dared to steal something that was rightfully his?

"Satoru, calm down."

He looked up at his best friend, who was trying to hold down a laugh at his panic.

"She'll probably give it to you later. The day just begun."

Right. Suguru is right. You'll give him his chocolate later. He's a good boy. He can wait.

That's what he told himself, but Suguru and Shoko have already received theirs this morning, and his is still nowhere to be found. Where is his chocolate? You're just sitting there in your seat, looking all pretty as if Satoru is not going through a huge dilemma because of you.

He couldn't help his hands that kept inching itself closer to the chocolate you gave Suguru. He wouldn't know if he snatched it, right? Suguru had received a lot of chocolate! He wouldn't know if he took it... was what he convinced himself before Suguru slapped his hand away.

"Satoru," he sighs.

"But Suguru!!!" Satoru whined as he sunk down into his seat.

"Be patient. You'll get yours soon."

But how soon is soon? Satoru isn't exactly known for his patient.

It was the end of the day, and still no chocolate from you. He asked Suguru and Shoko to leave first because he thought you would finally give it to him when both of you were alone. But you haven't. Where was his chocolate?

The two of you were approaching the exit of school, so Satoru made a quick decision, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into an empty classroom. He quickly shut the door and locked it.

"Satoru?" You asked in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"My chocolate."

"Your chocolate?"

"My chocolate from you! The symbol of your love towards me!"

"I didn't make you any," you replied smoothly. "Forgot to make them yesterday, so I woke up early today to make them, but I guess not early enough. I only had time to finish Shoko's and Suguru's. I didn't have time to make yours. Otherwise, I would have been late."

Satoru swear the world just ended. He looked down at his chest because he swears his heart ripped out of his chest at your words. Nope. Still alive. Why is he still alive in this cruel world? You had no chocolate for him? None? Not even a crumb?

"That's fine with you, right? I mean, you got a bunch of chocolate from other girls! You don't need mine."

He swear he is about to burst into tears. He didn't care about other girls. He didn't care about their chocolate. He wanted yours. How could you be so cruel and deny him of your chocolate? To reject him like this? He was devastated. No. Beyond devastated. Where is the closest cliff so he can jump off?

Pure silence radiated the room as Satoru tried to comprehend this horrible situation. Then he heard a small giggle slip pass your lips. That small giggle soon turns into a full-out laugh.

"You should have seen the look on your face, Satoru," you say as you try to stop laughing.

Was this funny to you? Why were you laughing at his suffering? Do you know how much he looked forward to today? To receive the cute little wrapped up chocolate you made for him? He dreamed of today, and you didn't have chocolate for him?

He then sees you reach into your bag and pull out exactly what he had imagined. A cute little chocolate box wrapped up in a baby blue color with a touch of white ribbon to finish it off. Fuck. He thinks he just got a heart attack seeing your chocolate. His chocolate.

"Princess, please don't joke like that to me ever again. You scared me half to death. I was going to jump off a cliff," he whined as he took the chocolate from your hand.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his dramatic behavior. "Stop being dramatic, Satoru. It's just chocolate."

A look of offense dawned his face as you utter those horrendous words to him.

"Chocolate? Just chocolate?" He huffed at you. He can't believe you as you treat this amazing god send gift as just chocolate. "Don't you dare call this just chocolate! This! This right here is proof of your undying love towards me!"

You laughed at his antics– "You're getting ahead of yourself, Satoru."

He delicately placed the chocolate safety away in his bag, treating it as a prized possession. He's looking forward towards white day. He already knows what he wants to get for you. He pulled you into a hug, nuzzling his face against your neck as he mutters– "You won't be saying that after I wife you up."

[chahnniesroom]

night again

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in hindsight, visiting chan's studio right before a comeback isn't one of your best ideas. what was supposed to be a pleasant surprise leaves you spiraling into self-doubt, wondering if chan even wants to be in a relationship with you at all.

word count: 6.4k

tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings, insecurities, reader not eating due to stress

a/n: the long awaited 'he calls you clingy' fic! title is from the english translation of 또 다시 밤 (twilight)

read it on ao3 | masterlist

You love your job. It's challenging for sure and the expectations from upper management are often unforgiving, but you’re proud of how hard you've worked and everything that you've accomplished in the past few years at your company. 

As you've gained experience, you've slowly been given more and more responsibility. You've grown out of your junior role and though you're thrilled by the pay raise and prospect of being a team lead rather than being led by one, it's also daunting.

When you and your new team are assigned an important project with tight deadlines, you're determined to prove yourself. It's implied that you're going to have to have to dedicate a significant amount of time to finish it and while you're no stranger to long hours, it means that any plans you have of seeing your boyfriend, Chan, are out the window.

The timing is not terrible, Stray Kids has a comeback scheduled in about a week so you didn't think that you would be able to spend that much time with Chan anyway, but you usually try to surprise the boys at one of the music shows with a cake and some home cooked food.

Luckily, you've already been planning for this. Although nothing had been confirmed, you had expected that this project would be awarded to your company and you've already been trying to spend more time with Chan than usual in preparation for the busy season ahead for both of you.

Still, you can't help but agree with your best friend at work after she complains how little she's going to see her partner this month. Jinjoo doesn't know who your boyfriend is, but the two of you are close enough that you’ve shared that you have one and that work takes up a lot of his time. You've gushed to her about the sweet things that Chan has done for you and you've admitted that you think he's the one.

“You should bring him dinner sometime!” she exclaims when you mention you're not sure when the next time you'll be able to see Chan will be.

“Well, he’s really busy-” you start to say.

“That’s the beauty of it. I’m sure he would appreciate if you brought him food at work, especially if he’s anything like my partner and gets so caught up with work that they forget to eat sometimes,” she insists.

“That’s true.”

“Just trust me, Y/n. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t sure that it’d work. My partner loves when I do this. It’s literally the perfect way to take some time for each other before you’re both too busy. Even if he's super busy, his work can't be bad enough that he’s not allowed to eat, right?”

You agree somewhat reluctantly. You're still unsure about whether or not Chan would appreciate you barging in unannounced, but it is a cute idea and Jinjoo's confidence is enough to convince you.

The next day after work, you head to the company and order takeout for a late dinner for you and Chan, picking it up along the way. It reminds you of earlier in your relationship before you had gotten your current position and when Stray Kids were just gaining popularity. Both of you enjoyed having more casual date nights that provided more privacy as opposed to going out to fancy places and it makes you even more excited to see his reaction.

About a year after you started dating Chan, he insisted that you get a pass to get into JYP Entertainment without having to fill out a visitor's form and have someone pick you up. It has definitely come in handy more than a few times, although you try to limit the number of visits you make. Even though you're allowed to be there, it still feels intimidating to be in the building, like someone is going to recognize that you're not an employee and accuse you of being a sasaeng.

Luckily the late hour means that you make it to Chan's studio without having to interact with anybody except the security at the door, who had waved you through without a second thought. You had double checked with Felix earlier in the day to make sure that Chan didn't have any schedules or dinner plans, so you directly knock on his door without texting or calling him beforehand. 

“Y/n?” he asks, a bit baffled when he sees you. “Did we- Did I forget that we had plans tonight?”

“No,” you say, a little nervous for some reason. It's just Chan, you tell yourself, but it doesn't make you feel any better. “I didn't think that you had dinner yet and wanted to see you.”

“Oh, I see. Come in,” Chan responds slowly, still processing your sudden appearance. “I just have something that I need to finish up-”

“It's fine! You can work,” you assure him quickly. “I don't want to interrupt you too much, I just wanted to drop by since I don't have plans and wanted to make sure that you're eating well.”

Chan’s studio isn’t messy at all, but he still gets up to clear some space on a side table for you, before returning back to where he has Cubase opened up. You pass over his food and feel relieved when he immediately digs in, but your appetite seems to have vanished, you can only get yourself to pick at your meal.

Chan is short with his responses all evening and continues to work on his laptop, even while eating. It throws you off a bit, you thought that he would be able to get to a stopping point and at least make a bit of time for you, but you did tell him that he could. Even so, you're determined to make the most of the last time that you’re going to see them for a while. You know they’ve been super busy the past few days, or more like the past few weeks, but still you had thought he would be a little bit more engaged or at the very least seem happy to see you.

Finally, after half an hour of eating with minimal conversation, you decide to broach the subject that’s been on your mind this entire time. Chan’s finished his food and you know that you won’t be able to get yourself to eat anymore, so you shuffle everything off to the side and inch closer to Chan. 

“You know that client we’ve been trying to work with for a while?” you start tentatively.

Chan hums noncommittally, continuing to type on his computer. Not quite the reaction that you're hoping for, but you forge on anyway.

“We got awarded the job! It’s a great opportunity for the company and everyone is really excited, but-”

“Y/n,” he interrupts. “I’m sorry, that’s amazing and all, but you know that it’s not a good time for me right now. I have something I really need to work on and now that you’ve finished eating, can we please not bother with the small talk?”

“Oh,” you say, a bit caught off guard. Chan has never been the type to cut you off when you're speaking. “No, yeah, I get it. Uhm. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, just-” he sighs, sounding frustrated. “Next time can you please ask me when you want to visit in advance so this doesn’t happen again? You chose the worst timing to come by. I just need some space, from all of… this,” he says, waving a hand between the two of you.

“Sorry, I know it’s a busy time, but I just wanted to see-”

At that moment, an alarm on Chan's phone goes off, interrupting you. When he turns it off and notices the time, he swears lowly, unlocking his phone and typing out a message to somebody. You’re scared to break the silence. Less than a minute later, someone knocks on the door.

“Come in,” Chan calls. When Changbin and Jisung step into the room, they eye you curiously. You keep your head down and try to prevent your hands from shaking as you stand and start to haphazardly shove away all your belongings and the garbage from your dinner into bags. 

“Noona, it's good to see you!” Jisung says brightly, although his smile dims when you make eye contact and can only manage to weakly return the smile. “Sorry for interrupting you two.”

“Hi Hannie,” you reply quietly, not wanting to make conversation, but not wanting to be rude.

“It’s okay, Y/n was just leaving,” Chan says, his obvious annoyance making things even more awkward.

You say bye to the boys quietly and apologise as you shuffle past them to the door.

The handles of the bag from your dinner are digging into your hand painfully and your purse can’t close with the way that you’ve thrown everything into it. You only take a few steps before you have to stop for a moment to save a container from falling and decide to put down everything and reorganise it all.

When you crouch down, you take a second to mentally berate yourself. Everything you had worried about had come true. Instead of being a pleasant surprise, you had come across as a nuisance.

In your rush, you hadn't fully closed the studio door behind you and you're close enough that you can just barely pick up the conversation that happens inside.

“Sorry,” you hear Chan say faintly. “I don't know what's been going on, but Y/n has been… really clingy these days. She just showed up today without asking and I hate-”

You leave before he has the chance to say anything else. You look like a mess for sure, you had just grabbed all the empty containers without bothering to put them back into the plastic bag, your jacket is partially dragging on the ground, and your purse is hanging off your elbow, having slipped off your shoulder. You're pretty sure you hear an empty drink bottle clatter to the floor behind you, but you don't look back to check.

You don't have it in you to care, you just need to leave.

Even waiting for the elevator feels humiliating, so you bypass it and stumble down the stairs. You dump the garbage into a bin on the first floor, not bothering to sort it properly, and step out onto the street, bee-lining to the nearest subway station.

The ride home passes by in a blur.

It hurts, of course it hurts. 

Honestly the reason that your relationship had worked out so far was because you weren’t the kind of person that needed a lot of attention. You understood that both of you were busy and were content to just exchange messages every couple of days because you knew how important Stray Kids was to Chan. Of course you did, they were just as important to you.

If Chan wanted space, well. You were more than capable of giving it to him.

In fact, your upcoming schedule had been the reason that you had wanted to meet up in the first place, the source of your so-called clinginess. You’d never been called that before. You were hyper-independent and tended to get lost in your own mind, easily distracted by different thoughts. It had gotten to a point that most of your exes had complained at least once about you being distant or inattentive.

With Chan, you had been determined not to be the same. It had been difficult at first, to make the effort to send messages throughout the day. You had to convince yourself not to spend too long drafting replies in your head and try not to worry that you were bothering him, especially if you knew that he had schedules at the same time that you were texting.

By the time that you make it to your apartment, your pain has faded into a mixture of resignation and numbness. You don't want to talk to Chan about how you feel, it's your clinginess that he didn't like in the first place, and you don't think you'll have time or the energy for a long, emotional conversation in the next few weeks anyway. If you keep your distance for a while, it just benefits both of you, you tell yourself. You won’t be a distraction to Chan as Stray Kids has their comeback and he won’t be one to you as you take on this new project. 

As much as you want to spend the rest of your night overthinking- something you’ve done more than you’d like to admit- you know that you have a busy day at work tomorrow. Feeling a bit like a zombie, you force yourself to shuffle through your usual nighttime routine, swallowing a melatonin pill before climbing into bed.

Normally, you would send Chan a good night message. Actually, normally you would have sent him a message the second that you arrived home. It was something that he was insistent on starting from early on in your relationship, wanting to make sure that you were safe.

Tonight, you just turn off your phone, plug it into its charger, and sleep.

—

In the morning, you allow yourself to wallow in bed for 5 minutes, before you get ready for work. You’ve never been good at eating breakfast and today’s no exception. Your stomach turns uneasily at the thought of food so you only force yourself to drink some water before you leave.

Your team at work has agreed to get to work earlier than usual just to get a headstart on everything. Though you’re more of a night owl, you’re grateful to find that deviating from your usual routine means that the subway is empty enough that you can find an empty seat, a luxury that you’ve rarely experienced.

It feels eerie to walk through the streets of Seoul when the sun has just started to rise and you’re relieved when you finally make it to your office.

Unsurprisingly, you’re one of the first to arrive. You’re grateful for the time that you have to unpack your things and make a much needed coffee before the rest of your team shows up.

“How did it go last night?” Jinjoo asks you excitedly when she comes in.

“Uhm, it was okay,” you reply noncommittally. “He was definitely surprised.”

“Oh,” Jinjoo pouts at your lack of enthusiasm.

“I mean, it wasn’t bad,” you backtrack, hating to see her disappointed. “It was just so short, he was kind of… busy. But that’s what I expected anyway so that's fine I guess. Thanks for suggesting it to me though! I really appreciate it.”

“That’s good,” Jinjoo brightens. “At least you got to see him one last time.”

“Oh yeah for sure! I think that after seeing him yesterday, it’ll be easier to deal with how busy we’re going to be for the next few weeks,” you say truthfully. 

It’s not a lie, you justify. For the first time since you started dating, you’re not looking forward to the next time that you’re going to see Chan.

You know that your communication is about to reduce to an all time low for the next few weeks, and while you had originally been worried about how Chan would react, now you’re thinking that he’s just going to be relieved not to hear from you. You’ve never thought yourself to have been overly chatty with Chan during the day though, preferring in-person conversation over texting and knowing that he’s generally not available to read your messages anyway, much less send you a reply. It seemed that you were wrong. 

Luckily your team now has to use a shared box that you’re required to put your personal phones into during working hours and only have a little bit of time during lunch and dinner breaks, if you take them, to fish them out. It’s a policy that your company enforces when teams are working on confidential projects and you can’t blame them due to past litigation that they’ve been involved in after a former employee leaked sensitive information.

For once, you're glad for this excuse to not look at your phone, even if you feel a little bit naked to look at the side of your desk or reach into your pocket and not have your phone there. You’re relieved to bury yourself in your work and forget all about your personal life. Even though your project is just starting, you feel like you're already behind. 

When you're finished work for the day and take back your phone, you find yourself reluctant to check your notifications. It's only when you're waiting for the subway to arrive at your station that you finally force yourself to take a look.

No new messages or calls from Chan.

You’re not sure what you expected, but somehow you’re still disappointed.

You get back to your apartment late, you had wanted to finish a couple of things before you left the office and it had led to you being one of the last to leave. You had also stopped by the convenience store closest to your place, not having the energy to cook anything for yourself.

You pick at your dinner half-heartedly. You're used to eating alone, Chan often had his meals at odd times due to his schedules, but tonight the silence feels more oppressive. 

It haunts you, the tail end of the overheard conversation. You have no idea how Chan was going to complete the sentence, but your mind unhelpfully fills in the blanks with worse and worse suggestions.

He hates the timing of your visit.

He hates that you visited at all.

He hates that he has such a clingy girlfriend.

He hates that you are his clingy, annoying, bothersome girlfriend.

He hates you.

In moments of clarity, you can recognize that it's not true. That's not the Chan that you know and he would never say something like that about anybody, least of all you. It's just hard when a small part of you has never really been able to believe that someone as talented and amazing as Chan would want to date someone as unremarkable as you.

You find yourself falling into a new routine, waking early, working overtime, and trying not to cry yourself to sleep. You succeed most of the time, you keep yourself occupied by thinking about work and you're so physically exhausted by your long hours that you fall asleep the second that you get into bed. Luckily, your coworkers are just as overworked as you are and it’s easy to blame your declining condition on the project. Weekends don't help you rest at all, you've committed to your manager that you can work on Saturdays and Sundays are spent completing the chores that you've neglected during the week.

You still talk to Chan sometimes, either right when you wake up or on the way home after work. The conversation is stilted though, both because of the long delays between messages when you text and the limited time that you have when you call. It's enough of a difference that Chan asks you multiple times if everything is okay. Even though you try your best to assure him that you're fine, just busy, you're sure he knows that something is off, although he doesn't question you further.

Most exciting is the day that the new Stray Kids album releases. You've already heard most of the songs for this comeback, perks of dating the member that's the most involved in the writing and production of the album, but it's different now that they're available to the public too. You make sure to organise your schedule so that you're on break when the music video drops and you send a number of messages in the group chat that you have with the group cheering them on. Usually, you try to take a day off to deliver some food to them at the music shows, but you've had to settle for arranging with one of their managers to treat them to a meal.

You can tell when they get breaks because when you check your phone after work, notifications from the members are all in the same blocks of time. It's mostly them thanking you, taking pictures of the food you sent, flowers that they've been gifted, and letters from fans. They have a short promotion period this comeback, but it's packed with different interviews, performances, and fanmeets. At one point, Felix even sends you a picture of Chan sleeping slumped over on one of the waiting room couches. As much as you're relieved to see that he's able to get some rest, the picture has your stomach twisting uncomfortably.

You're proud of Chan, of all of the boys. They've worked so hard and each comeback seems to be more and more successful. Even if you're not confident in what's going to happen with you and Chan in the future, you want to celebrate with them while you still can.

—

After almost four weeks, your project is nearing completion and you've never been more grateful to have a deadline arrive.

You only have a couple more days left until your last submittal is due and after getting off work, you want nothing more than to collapse into bed even though your stomach has been growling the whole walk from the bus to your building. You had caught a significant mistake in a document right before it was going to be sent to a client and the whole afternoon had been spent trying to fix it in time. Your team had just barely managed it, but your head has been pounding for hours and your whole body is tight with stress.

You’re not quite sure how you make it to your apartment, your exhaustion has made you clumsy. You struggle a couple times to enter in the code to unlock your door and trip over a pair of shoes that are scattered in the entryway.

You manage to catch yourself before you fall, then squint back. Yes, you haven’t had the chance to tidy your apartment in a couple weeks, but you’ve never been the type to leave your shoes on the walking path.

A light is on, further in your apartment. You know for a fact it wasn’t like that when you left this morning, it would have been obvious since you've been leaving before the sun rises. Someone else is here.

You stare at the light for a few seconds in disbelief, then slowly reach to grab something, anything that you might be able to use to defend yourself. Your shaking hands close around a full sized umbrella that you keep beside your closet. 

You’ve already made enough commotion that there’s no way the intruder didn’t hear, but you try to keep your footsteps light as you creep down the hall to where your kitchen is. It’s stupid to try and confront them, but the idea of someone in your space, potentially taking your things, is enough to inspire a sudden bout of bravery.

You hold your breath as you turn the corner, launching forward to attack the second that you see someone. You recognise the figure halfway through your swing, and though it’s too late to fully stop, you manage to pull back enough that they’re able to easily catch the umbrella before it hits them.

Chan wraps his arms around you then eases the umbrella out of your hands, resting it against the wall. You sag into his embrace, adrenaline draining away, leaving you exhausted again. 

“Chan?”

You've missed this. His warmth, his comforting scent, the reassuring steadiness that he always provides. You can almost pretend that everything is fine.

“Sorry for scaring you,” he says, sounding more amused than apologetic.

“You should be,” you grumble into his shirt. “I could have seriously injured you if I didn't realise it was you!”

“I don't think that was going to be a problem.” Even though you can't see Chan, you can hear the grin in his voice.

“Hey!” You lightly smack his arm. “You take that back!”

“Fine, fine,” Chan acquiesces, holding up both his hands in surrender. “I'm very glad that I didn't have to experience the full power of your self defence.”

“Yeah yeah,” you huff. “What are you doing here anyway? Other than trying to give me a heart attack, that is.”

“I made you dinner,” Chan says shyly, turning pink.

“For what?” you ask suspiciously. It's easy to fall back into the banter that you typically exchange with Chan, but you can't help but be a bit wary these days.

“No reason. I uh, just haven't seen you in a while,” Chan says sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck where it’s now flushed red. “We had so much preparation to do and then all our schedules… Anyway, I wanted to surprise you, so I thought I could cook for us.”

Now that he's mentioned it, you can see that he's set your tiny kitchen table and that there's a couple of pots on the stove. Chan doesn’t cook often, but he’s expressed a desire to learn before and you’ve taught him how to make a few of your favourite recipes.

You stare at him for a moment, lost for words.

It's only been a few weeks, but you feel like you've forgotten how to act around Chan. Instead of a comfortable silence, it's almost awkward, neither of you knowing what to say.

“Oh,” you say finally, touched and still a little shocked that he's actually here. “That's- that's so nice, I just- is it okay if I wash up a bit quickly first?”

“No, yeah, of course. I'm sure you had a long day,” Chan says. “Go ahead, I’ll- the food should be reheated anyway so I’ll get on that. Take your time.”

You skirt around him to go to the bathroom, taking a moment to splash yourself with water. This feels like a bizarre dream and you wonder for a moment if you’re making this all up. But when you leave to go to your bedroom, Chan’s still there, puttering around in front of your kitchenette. You change your clothes slowly, mind racing as you try to puzzle together why Chan has decided to visit all of a sudden.

You eventually settle on the most logical reason that you can think of.

He’s finally decided to break up with you.

You’ve figured that this was coming for weeks by now, but somehow it still hurts. Instead of feeling resigned, it feels like you’re shattering into little pieces. You twist your work blouse into a tiny ball as you try not to cry, even though you know the fabric is going to wrinkle terribly. You finish cleaning up in a daze, already drafting what you're going to have to message your manager later. There's no way that you're going to be in any shape to work tomorrow if you’re right.

“Y/n?” Chan calls eventually. You know you're procrastinating leaving your room, but you want to put this off for as long as possible even though you know it’s just delaying the inevitable. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you reply with a heavy heart. “I’m fine. I'll just be another second.”

You can tell that Chan doesn’t quite believe you. He hovers around you when you emerge from your bedroom, knocking away your hand when you try to pull out your own chair from the table.

He's set the table, going so far as to fold little napkins under your utensils. There's even a tiny vase with your favourite flowers as a centrepiece. All this effort just hurts more.

“You look exhausted. You got home so late. Where were you?” he asks.

“I was at work,” you reply stiffly. You know that if you try and say any more, your emotions are going to spill over and you're either going to scream or cry. Maybe both.

“So late?” Chan's forehead creases with some sort of emotion. You can't quite tell if it's concern or scepticism.

“You're not the only one that has a demanding job.”

“Y/n, you know that's not what I meant-”

“Sure,” you say. “Whatever, let's just eat. Thank you for the food.”

You don't want to deal with this. You're so tired.

You have no idea why Chan’s dragging this out longer than it needs to be. Why he’s forcing you to sit through a meal with him like he’s not about to break your heart. Chan is one of the kindest people you know, he’s probably trying to make this easier for you, giving you one last nice memory, but it just feels cruel.

Chan reaches out, stopping you before you can pick up your chopsticks. He stares at the way his fingers overlap each other around your wrist.

“You’ve lost weight,” he says quietly. You look away, watching steam curl from the bowl of rice that has been set in front of you instead of returning eye contact.

“I’ve been busy.” Is all you can say in response. 

You don’t want to tell him that you’ve been basically subsisting on iced americanos and various convenience store meals in part because of your work schedule, but mostly because of your lack of appetite. Every time you thought of Chan, it made your stomach turn and well, everything reminded you of him. You hadn’t realised how much it had actually affected your physical condition until now though.

“You're not taking care of yourself,” he scolds you. You can feel yourself bristle at his comment even though you know it’s true. “I haven't been around to take care of you either. I'm sorry.”

“Chan,” you protest. It has been weeks since you last saw him in person and you’ve spent more time that you’d like to admit micro analysing your relationship, but you still can’t make sense of his behaviour, especially how he keeps switching between criticism and tenderness.

“What?” he asks in genuine confusion.

“Why are you here?”

“I missed you,” Chan says, sounding hurt and confused. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“I just- I don’t understand what you want from me!” You run your hands through your hair in frustration. “One day you don’t want me around, we go weeks without seeing each other, then you’re at my place cooking me dinner? You said you needed space, I gave you space."

“Woah woah woah, what do you mean I don’t want you around?” Chan asks, alarmed. “When have I ever said that?”

“You made it pretty clear that you didn’t appreciate it when I went to bring you dinner that day,” you start.

“No, baby!” Chan stands up abruptly before you can say anything else. He falters when the loud scrape of his chair causes you to flinch back. He slowly walks towards you and kneels in front of you, reaching out to hold your hands in his. His eyes are wide with earnestness. “Of course I wanted to spend time with you. I always want to be with you.”

“So why did you call me clingy?” you ask in a small voice. Gone is your anger, replaced with a self-consciousness that you can’t hide. You look away as tears prickle your eyes.

Gently, Chan lets go of your hands and cups your cheeks instead, turning your face so that he can see you better. His thumbs swipe under your eyes, brushing away the tears that have managed to escape.

“Baby,” he says, sounding even more upset and angry than you feel. “I'm sorry. Did someone tell you I said that?”

“Nobody had to tell me, I heard you say it myself!” you burst out, pushing Chan away. You know that you’re being dramatic, that you keep oscillating between different emotions, but you don’t care. “That day, in your studio, you told Han and Changbin that I was really clingy.”

“You heard me talking to Binnie and Hannie?” Chan asks slowly.

“I didn't mean to eavesdrop,” you sniffle. One of Chan's hands shifts and he carefully tucks behind a lock of hair that has fallen in front of your face. The gentleness makes even more tears well up.

“It's okay, I think I know what you overheard now. It must have hurt, right?”

You can't muster up a response, choosing instead to just nod slightly.

“I’m sorry, I'm sorry,” he soothes you. “Can I explain myself?”

You pause for a moment, then slowly nod again.

“I don't mind that you're clingy, actually, I like it. I shouldn't have used that word. I like that you want to spend time with me, Y/n,” Chan says carefully. “I like that you take time to visit me, even though I know that your work is busy too. I think that it's cute and thoughtful that you think of me and try to take care of me by bringing me food. I know that you intentionally take the time out of your day to text me because you know that I like hearing from you, even though I might not see it or respond right away.”

Chan pauses for a second and you use it as an opportunity to pull away slightly. His hands tighten briefly, before he lets them fall away, giving you the space to process.

It's not that you don't like what Chan is saying, it's just hard to reconcile it with the thoughts that have been eating away at you for the past few weeks. You still don't understand what you overheard though, how it fits into all of this. When you voice your concerns to Chan, he sighs, before continuing to speak.

“I don't know what I did to have someone as caring and thoughtful as you in my life.” You want to protest, but Chan carries on before you can say anything. “It's just that- you visited me without notice and were the sweetest person in the world. I wanted to spend time with you, believe me, I did, but I can't just ignore my deadlines when the rest of the members are relying on me. It makes me feel like garbage when I can’t give you all my attention. That's the thing I hate the most. That I can't be the boyfriend that you deserve. That I can't show you how much you mean to me the way that I want to.”

It makes sense, in some sort of twisted way. You know that similarly to you, Chan often feels insecure. It had taken a while before you had been able to convince him that you really did want to be in a relationship with him even with all of the difficulties that were associated with being an idol. You hadn't realised that your visit had fed into his worries that he wasn’t enough.

“I didn't know,” you say quietly. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey, I didn't tell you how I was feeling and that's on me. I’m the one that’s sorry, you have no reason to be. I should have been clearer about what was going through my mind and it wasn't any excuse for the way that spoke to you. Even if I wasn't at my best, I can't believe that I made you feel like I didn't want you to be around.” Chan shakes his head and you can tell that he's beating himself up about it. This time, you're the one that reaches out to him, grabbing one of his hands in both of yours.

“I am sorry that I put you into that position, though. I got caught up in the idea of how fun and romantic it might be, that I didn't give enough consideration to your schedule. Even though I wanted to surprise you, it would have been better to check with you beforehand. I don't ever want you to have to feel like you have to choose between me and work.”

“It was a really nice surprise,” Chan agrees. “I wish that I hadn't been so wrapped up that I wasn't able to enjoy spending time with you. I really hated not being able to see you these past few weeks.”

“It was really hard for me too,” you admit.

“I missed you so much. I missed your beautiful voice, hearing your laugh, seeing your smile. I missed all the texts that you usually send, they make me feel like I'm not as far away, that I'm a part of your day too. You kept saying that everything was fine and- I know it's hard for you, especially during comeback periods when I'm not as responsive. I didn't want to pressure you into messaging me more often if I'm not able to do the same.”

“No, it's not that. It doesn't bother me. Work was, is still really busy for me,” you explain. “I was trying to tell you that day, but-”

“But I basically shut you down,” Chan realises. He laughs bitterly. “I’m just the worst, aren't I? No wonder you were so confused by why I was here.”

“I thought you were going to break up with me tonight,” you whisper. Chan looks devastated by your statement.

 “No- you know I wouldn't-” Chan stumbles on his words in his haste to correct you.

“I don't think that anymore,” you reassure him. “I understand everything now, it was just that we didn't communicate well and I assumed… It's okay, we're together now, this won't happen again.”

“I promise that I will make it up to you. I love you and I will prove it to you in every way possible. And I'm going to start right now. You still haven't eaten yet, please go ahead.” Chan moves back to his abandoned chair and doles out a portion of the stew from the pot that's on the table. 

“I am really hungry,” you confess. Your stomach chooses that exact moment to growl loudly and the two of you can’t help but burst into laughter. 

Just like that, it feels like things are back to normal.

You know that there's still more that you and Chan have to talk about. The two of you have only scratched the surface on your insecurities, communication, and how those things led to such a significant misunderstanding.

But tonight, it's enough that you get to share a meal with the man that you love.

read it on ao3 | masterlist

[sugoroo]

ʚɞ warnings. fem!reader, handjob, oral (m receiving), face-fucking, multiple orgasms, praise kink, pathetic choso of course, cum eating, 18+ minors dni.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who is the bassist of an up-and-coming band with some of his friends, but isn't nearly as confident on stage as the other members seem to be.

however, despite the way he tends to shy away from the spotlight, he still receives a lot of letters from his various fans, his poor mailbox almost permanently overflowing with packages and envelopes waiting to be opened.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who doesn't mind this in the slightest! in fact, he's extremely flattered by all the sweet words people write to him on a daily basis. his favourite part, though, is getting you to read them out loud for him while you sit comfortably on his lap.

he thinks the praise sounds even better when narrated by your pretty voice.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who has just invited you over to read through today's mountain of fanmail when he sees an unusual letter encased in bright pink paper peeking out from the top. his curiosity gets the better of him, and he peels it open to read it himself before you've arrived.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who begins reading with a smile as he skims through the carefully handwritten words. it starts off innocently enough; just the usual gushing over him and his band's music. however, slowly but surely, the letter delves into decidedly different territory.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who stares at the sentence 'if you just let me have one chance i'd give you the messiest, most toe-curling sloppy toppy known to man.' for what feels like hours, trying to make sense of what it could possibly mean.

the strange phrase is evidently not one he is familiar with.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who scrambles over to you when he hears the sound of the door opening, frantically waving the bright letter around in and begging you to explain it to him. he just wants to understand what his fan meant to tell him, after all!

rockstar boyfriend!choso who becomes even more confused when you start laughing reading the letter, your pretty eyes brimming with amusement and a hand flying up to cover your mouth. "what's so funny, baby? what does it meann?" he whines.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who is utterly dumbstruck when you purr out that it would be easier to give him a 'visual demonstration' to explain what the fan meant by the statement, slowly sinking to your knees before him.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who just stands there dumbly, shifting around from foot to foot and gulping loudly when he sees you looking up at from your place knelt on the floor with those damned eyes of yours that are currently glinting with mischief.

rockstar boyfriend!choso whose hand instinctively flies to grasp your wrist when you reach up towards the crotch of his dark ripped jeans, his cheeks flushing a furious shade of red and his eyes wide with bewilderment. "w-what are you doing, pretty?"

rockstar boyfriend!choso who quickly falls silent when you reach up with your free hand to press a finger to his lips, the other gently breaking free from his loose grip and brushing over the steadily growing bulge in his pants.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who whimpers when you tease him for how hard he is already, your sultry voice both arousing and embarrassing him. "aww, is my sweet boy all worked up just from seeing me on my knees for him?"

he can only nod weakly in response, already feeling overwhelmed from one barely-there touch and a few simple words. it's not his fault, really! he just can't help himself around you; especially when the two of you have never ventured past making out before.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who tries to bury his blushing face in the side of his graphic t-shirt sheepishly when you start to properly palm him over the material of his trousers, his soft moans muffled by the clothing.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who feels an involuntary pout push at his lower lip when you remove your touch, only for it to melt into a gape when the finger that was hushing his lips moves to the underside of his chin, tilting it downwards so he's forced to make direct eye contact with you.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who practically feels himself fold like a lawn chair the second you coo sweetly to him that he needs to "keep his eyes on you" if he wants you to continue touching him, causing him to nod furiously in response.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who couldn't look away from you now even if he wanted to, his entire being mesmerized by each miniscule movement you make — the way your fingers toy with the button of his trousers, the subtle way your teeth sink into your lower lip in concentration...

god, you have him so whipped.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who has to bite back a pathetic mewl when you finally push his ripped jeans down his hips, leaving him standing there in the entryway of his apartment in just his boxers and a band shirt. he knows he should be embarrassed; but right now, he couldn't care less.

he just wants to know what you're going to do next.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who is so lost in thought imaging all the different things you could do to him, that when you rub your face against the erection straining against his boxers, he accidentally releases a strangled squeal of shock.

panicking, rockstar boyfriend!choso hurriedly reaches down to tangle a hand into the back of your hair, keeping you pressed against his clothed cock so you don't have the chance to open your mouth and tease him for the sound he just let out.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who can't suppress a soft gasp as your tongue flickers out to swipe little kitten licks over his tented boxers, no doubt leaving a small wet patch there. "m-mmph. babyy, that feels so good."

rockstar boyfriend!choso who feels rather than hears the way you giggle lightly against him, the vibrations of the sound making him grow impossibly harder. and, oh, you've hardly even touched him yet and he's already prepared to explode at any moment.

rockstar boyfriend!choso whose chest rises and falls with rapid breaths when you start to slowly peel his boxers off too, his throbbing cock slapping against his pale stomach with a lewd smack! that makes him whine in shame.

his embarrassment only increases when he observes the way you react to the sight of his length for the first time, your tongue darting out to moisten your suddenly dry lips and your pupils visibly dilating. "s-stop staring." he huffs petulantly.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who swears he almost cums untouched when you tell him that you're just admiring how "pretty his cock is", his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he tries to think of a coherent response. but any words are quickly lost when you wrap a hand around his base.

"ah!" rockstar boyfriend!choso cries pathetically, the sound resembling that of a wounded animal of some description as you start to gently pump his pale cock in a loose grip, deliberately teasing him with what's to come.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who's so close to the edge already, his balls practically bursting at the seams with the need to release themselves. but then you remove your hand, causing him to whimper in protest and weakly thrust his hips into the air in search of more friction.

"n-no! baby, you're so cruel. please, give me just a little more..." he pants breathlessly, staring down at you with those wide, glossy eyes. shit — how are you supposed to tease him when he looks so painfully beautiful begging for you?

rockstar boyfriend!choso who does actually cum when you lean in to press a gentle kiss against his adorably flushed cockhead, his milky seed splattering lewdly across your features before he can even stammer out some kind of warning.

he prepares to apologize profusely, but trails off when he notices that you seem completely unbothered. no; in fact, you seem to be pleased, licking some of the cum staining the corner of your mouth with a satisfied hum. "you taste so sweet, cho." you purr.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who swears there's a real risk of him fainting if you say another word of praise, so he hurriedly yanks you back by your hair to his still half-hard cock. but he doesn't force you onto it, just brings you close enough that he can feel your breaths fanning across his heated skin, making it visibly twitch.

"p-please can you kiss it again, pretty girl?" rockstar boyfriend!choso whines quietly, his eyes locked on your cum-stained face as you smile softly in response to his request. god, how did he ever get so lucky?

rockstar boyfriend!choso whose entire body convulses when you place another kiss to his profusely leaking tip, quickly grasping the edge of his t-shirt and shoving it between his teeth to muffle some of his sounds as you start to lap at the prominent vein on the underside of his cock.

"such a needy boy." you speak teasingly against him, admiring every adorable change of his facial expression as you continue to coat him in your saliva. and choso think he's the lucky one — god knows how many of his fans would kill to be in your position right now (especially the one who penned that vulgar letter.)

rockstar boyfriend!choso simply nods dumbly, clearly too drunk on pleasure from your touches to deny your words. "just for— mmph! — f'you, baby." he slurs out, his hand stroking through the back of your hair as if you're the most precious thing he's ever encountered.

and to him, you are.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who releases the most pornographic moan once you finally take his sensitive tip into your mouth, the feel of your warm, wet mouth suckling around him making his eyelids droop in bliss. he's never experienced anything so perfect in his entire life.

rockstar boyfriend!choso whose crumpled up shirt falls from his mouth, his jaw slackening as he babbles a string of unintelligible curses and whimpers. you've only taken half of his length between your lips, but he already feels like he's in heaven.

he's so lost in dreamland he hardly notices how long it takes you to get all of him lodged inside your mouth, your nose bumping against the small patch of dark hairs scattered near his base as you try to hold back your gag reflex.

you bet he probably doesn't even know just how big he is.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who glances down at you in concern when he hears a slight choking sound, only to be met with the shockingly beautiful (and arousing) sight of your current state.

drool is involuntarily seeping from the corners of your mouth, your eyes watery with unshed tears as you try to handle having your entire throat stuffed more than full with his thick cock.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who doesn't know what comes over him when he finds his hand tightening in your hair, his hips wildly bucking up into the roof of your plush mouth as if they have a mind of their own — he tries to stop, but he just can't.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who sobs out choked apologies mixed with declarations of love over and over again, contrasting the roughness of his repeated thrusts between your lips. you've never seen him so feral before, but it's a sight you're quickly becoming addicted to.

he cums down your throat in record time, emptying all of his balls into your pliant mouth with a strangled whimper. unfortunately, he can't even keep his eyes open to watch you gulp it all down, too high off the feeling of the best orgasm he's ever had.

rockstar boyfriend!choso who forces himself to come back to reality to check on you, his sweet face contorted in concern as he releases his death grip on your hair and tenderly strokes your sticky cheek with his thumb. "a-are you okay, baby? i didn't mean to be so rough. i-i just got carried away." he says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

you're quick to assure him that it's fine, smiling up at him as if you didn't just suck the soul of the poor man. and then you have the sheer audacity to purr... "you wanna do that to another part of me too, cho?"

rockstar boyfriend!choso who is absolutely positive you're going to be the death of him one of these days.

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