#it's not even like part of the fic technically but a little scene it wrote that happens 'off screen'

[stellamancer]

me: (chilling)

one of my wips: (rattling in it's box)

me: hush.

wip: LET ME OUT

[lvlyghost]

The Things I Never Said: Part 3

Pairings: Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Summary: You're required for one last mission.

Word Count: 2.5k

Tw: aaaaaangst, hurt with a lot of comfort. injuries, mentions of blood, kissing and slightly suggestive but nothing too explicit. price has to make a hard choice:(poor grammar, bad english ofc💅🏻 foreshadowing to my price fic 'salvation' if you squint.

A/N: i'm not gonna lie, when i wrote the first part of this fic i was bored and never in a million years did it cross my mind y'all would like it this much. sorry if this isn't as good, this is the final part of it, although i plan to write little drabbles every now and then. this was such a nice ride 🩷✨ thx for the support; remember english isn't my first language, corrections are welcome 🤍🐸

Masterlist✨ Part 2

Desk rotation wasn't fun, but it seemed to be the only suitable work for you considering your pregnancy, besides, it would allow Simon to keep an eye on you. At least he's sure you'd be safer in the military base than alone in your home.

Your only companion as you sit in the tech room is nothing more than a computer with two screens and Jimmy, the other tech guy who sits in the far corner across from you.

True to his word, Price had saved you and Simon a horrible martial court plus being discharged. Technically you're no longer a part of the 141 task force which is already upsetting to all of your team; instead working strictly under Price's command and assisting the different branches of the military. Meaning you're no longer subdued to Lieutenant Riley, therefore you're not his subordinate, at least not directly.

You respond to Price and only Price.

Nearing the end of your first trimester your swollen belly has started to show, the same you try to dissimulate by wearing bigger shirts than you would usually wear, but enough for Simon to notice when he'd place a big calloused hand on your stomach.

'It's... tiny.' He had stated, to which you laughed softly.

'Of course it is, your hand is massive!'

You shake your head, with a small smile on your lips as you remember that scene.

"Everything good?" You ask your companion.

"Mhm. You know you're the best for creating the security system right? Not a single breach or flaw. Couldn't ask for a better partner."

"Is that a chai?" Completely ignoring what he just said you point the white disposable cup next to him. He looks between you and his drink.

"Yeah? Didn't know you liked it, here... have it. I can get another." He assures you when you hesitate.

You thank him with glowing eyes and excitement. Cravings... you're embarrassed of the amount of food you've asked from Simon in the middle of the night. Sushi, pizza and even peaches just for the sake of the baby.

He's being the gentlest man on earth. Caring and supportive. Your phone buzzes as you're about to start to work. The screen lights up with a message from your Captain. Huffing you stand up, letting Jimmy know you'll be back in a few minutes, or so you thought.

You're not prepared for the hell unfolding inside John's office.

You're able to hear male voices from the other side of the hallway. You don't know why but your heart begins to race, knocking twice once you've reached the brown wooden door.

"Come in!" Price shouts from inside.

You open the door, greeted by John's hardened eyes and Simon's back as he hunches over the Captain's desk. Confused and much to your dismay there's a gigantic folder between the two men, your eyes fall on Ghost's trembling frame.

He is enraged.

Body buzzing in anger as the soft click of the door interrupts the silence that's fallen suddenly inside.

"You wanted to see me Sir?"

Price slowly stands, Simon doing the same, turning his head ever so slightly to watch you from over his shoulder.

"I need to talk to you, sweetheart." Price begins.

A deep breath exits Simon's chest.

"What is it?" You take a step closer to them, until you're standing next to him, crossing his arms over his chest he remains silent.

"We need you. For a mission." He states. "It's important, sergeant. I don't think anyone else would be able to pull this off." Your eyes dart back to your boyfriend. Staring daggers at his superior. "I'd never ask for this if I had to."

"Bloody hell Price, she's not fucking going!" He is seething.

The gut-wrenching feeling sets in your belly, tossing and turning with anxiety. Simon isn't taking this well and you don't want to see him like this, it breaks your heart.

"How important, Sir?" You ask.

Ghost snaps his head towards you. Jaw tightening, and calls your name ever so softly.

"Don't." He barks. "Don't fucking play the hero, kid." He warns you.

"I'm not trying to play the hero, Simon." You talk back. "I'm trying to figure out how to get this done. I might have someone else that could go in my place." Price sighs. "Can I do it from the base? Maybe I don't have to leave the compound."

"Reports say the files are heavily encrypted. It's the Russians, sergeant. We're not dealing with amateurs." He turns to Ghost emphasizing the last word. "You more than anyone should understand, Lieutenant."

"Not when you're bloody sending her to a suicide mission!"

"These are not my orders Simon! General Shepherd wants her! I tried to talk him out of it. I can't do much more, son." You swallow when Simon starts pacing around like a rabid dog, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Is there any way I can do it? She can guide me through it the whole time..." he's back, leaning closer to his Captain. "I know I...-"

"Unless you know how to code and decrypt systems to perfection it can't be, Ghost. I'm sorry."

"It would only slow down the mission, get you caught. And in danger..." you reasoned, mumbling and staring down to your feet. There's no one else. Not even Jimmy. The one you had in mind.

Simon's mouth snapped shut.

His eyes are helpless when he connects them with yours. The realization of what's about to happen sinking in his core, he tried. He really did.

One long stride and he's embracing you, so tightly you think you'll suffocate; you hug him back, head resting right over where his heart beats frantically against his ribcage.

"I'm coming with her." He snarls. "Not Kyle, not Johnny. And certainly not someone from fucking KorTac." He turns to glare at Price with a death stare. "It'll be me, no one else."

-

"John's devastated." You tell him. Your back pressing against his hard chest. The water in the bathtub is warm, and smells like lavender and sandalwood. After the catastrophic meeting a few hours ago, Simon was too outraged to remain at the base so he drove both of you back to the safety of his apartment. You rest your head on his left shoulder, enjoying the delicate touch of his hands on your lower belly. He hums, almost absentmindedly. He didn't want to think about Price, or the mission for all that matters. All he can think of is you. He sighs, closing his eyes he presses a kiss on your hair.

"Bloody fucking bald cunt." He spits. You snort at his comment. Shepherd was a complicated man, and hardly one you could negotiate with once he had his mind set on something or someone.

"When do we have to...-"

"Tomorrow." Your lips are pressed into a thin line. "I'll be there no matter what, right next to you, love." He reassures you. You were never one to hesitate during missions but now... releasing a shaky breath you turn your head to look at Simon.

"I'm scared..." Simon's body goes rigid. The hand on your stomach halting. "It's not even for me, you know?" Swallowing your free hand reaches down to find his own, lacing your fingers with him. A muscle becoming prominent in his jaw as he grits his teeth.

"Nothing will happen to you. Bloody count on it, yeah? First shite I deem dangerous I'm pulling us out of there, understand?" You nod.

"Promise me you won't get hurt." There's a moment of silence that becomes unbearable the longer it extends. "Simon..." his eyes are fixated on yours, shining with what you can only describe as worship. The faintest of smiles spreads across his features.

"Don't you worry about me, sweetheart. Not for one second." Breathing deeply you pull him down for a kiss. It's slow and tender; makes you forget about all the difficulties you face. Biting down his lip, Simon takes it as a sign to further deepen the kiss. Tongues finding each other in a fight for dominance. "Don't wanna think about what tomorrow holds. I have you here right now. That's all I need."

-

Your mind goes back to the moments you and Simon shared last night. It was so simple, so real.

That's how things were supposed to be.

Easy.

Not heart wrenching, not stifling down a cry as you watch him get shot. A bullet that was aimed at you .Breaking in had been easy. Way too easy for your liking. But you thought that for once maybe a mission wouldn't be a pain in the ass. The hardest part was getting inside their systems; John was right. It was hellish even for you. It took more time than what you had anticipated. No one would've been able to pull it off.

"Whoever is behind this, they're good." You acknowledged as you type down the codes that will eventually get you in.

"Bloody brilliant you are, kid." Simon watches from the other side of the room, eyes scanning the hallway every now and then looking for any possible hostiles. You send him a coy smile.

"Keep looking at me like that and I'll get no work done."

"How am I supposed to look at you then?" He asks

You don't answer because the screen in front of you suddenly shifts from 'Access denied' to 'Access granted'.

"Got you." You whisper. Simon stands straight. You plug your USB and start downloading all the information as well as setting a virus so their system gets permanently damaged.

"What is it?" He gruffly asks when the files finished downloading on your own device. Clearing your throat you try to ignore the horrible pictures you just took a glimpse of.

"Just... insanity." Is all you can say. A loud metallic sound echoes in the room, you never get to see the person behind you. Ghost's eyes widen and he barks an order your ears don't register, static fills your eardrums. The gunfire starts but lasts mere seconds. Crimson blood splutters from Simon's body.

You stand up, knocking down the chair as you jump out and run where Simon's injured body kneels. You fall down grabbing him by the face. The pain you're feeling deep inside has never been worse.

"I'm fine." He hisses. "Just my fucking shoulder."

As if that would make you feel better.

"Let's get the hell out of here." Your lips quiver. You run back to retrieve the small USB drive.

The body of a man lays down, a pool of blood forms around him. He was hiding behind you the entire time. Had Simon been distracted the outcome could've been atrocious. Yo don't dwell on it.

"Come on, baby." You urge him, crouching down to help Simon as much as you can to get him standing. His weight is just too much for you, you think, when he finally raised to his feet.

"S'okay love. Don't... don't overwork yourself. I'm too heavy, don't wanna get you hurt because of me."

Tears form in the corner of you eyes at such selfless act.

"You're the one who got hurt because of me, Simon." You stammer.

"So what? Would fucking die for you." You shake your head but keep close to him. Pressing down the wound on his shoulder as you head towards the exit. "Evac point is ten minutes away. We should be fine." The gun that rests on your thigh feels heavier than it should.

You're lucky, you guess as you walk away from the god forsaken building.

Lucky that you have him by your side, even when his blood stains your fingers. He's there, you're there and you're making it out alive. Wounded or not, Simon would never let anything happen to you, that's how deep his love for you was.

He wasn't like his dad at all.

He was real, caring, something not much people knew. Not in their lifetime.

The amount of blood he was losing was inhumane. An injured shoulder couldn't cause someone to lose this much blood, you ponder. Your black shirt feels sticky and damp, you take a quick glance and hold back a sob. Another gunshot wound, one he didn't care enough to tell you about and you didn't notice, too scared to even think.

Far in the distance between two big threes a black truck awaits. Johnny's face dropping when he noticed Ghost's decaying form. He rushes in your direction, taking him off of you, carrying his weight. He gives you a concerned look.

"Johnny..." you choke up. "We have to save him, please."

-

It's been the worst 48 hours of your life since you landed. He got two surgeries done in order to remove the fragments from inside his body. You were exhausted, barely ate or slept. It almost felt criminal, selfish, when your eyes started to close and finally gave in.

Then the nightmares came.

Ones where he didn't make it back and instead you had to leave him behind and never got to meet his child.

A warm feeling spreads from your skin. A faint touch. Are you still dreaming? His face erupts in your subconscious mind and you cry again. He's fine.

When you slowly open up your eyes you're met with blue eyes and a raspy voice.

"Don't neglect yourself for me, kid." You're speechless, the searing pain in your heart eases. He knows you so well. Knows you haven't left his side. "Takes more than a bullet to keep me away from you." When you don't move nor speak he continues, clearing his throat. "Come here, sweet thing."

There's a new wave of tears that fall mercilessly down your cheeks. You carefully climb up next to Simon's good side.

"Don't you ever scare me like that!" you weep. Sobbing uncontrollably Simon hushes you. Murmuring words of comfort in your ear. The anesthesia is still making him feel dizzy but that doesn't stop him from kissing every part of your face. Your hair, your forehead, your cheek and finally your lips.

"Let's leave this place for a while. Go on vacation while we still can..." you beg.

Simon's lips twitch. He's smiling down at you.

"What do you have in mind doll?"

You breathe deeply.

"Greece. I always wanted to go to Greece."

There's moments in life when you doubt you'll get a happy ending. Being with Simon at first was pure coincidence, something that had evolved from deep admiration and respect, which then turned into something more. It turned out to sleepless nights at the common room with the task force. Longing stares during briefings. Looking after each other during missions.

The training sessions together. Lending his massive leather jacket because you were always reluctant to bring your own. That one night he couldn't resist it anymore and went to your dorm. How you felt under his touch, oh he was touch starved when it came to you. And when he learned he was going to be a father, that moment would be ingrained into his memory until his very last day.

"Greece it is."

It's a promise.

TAGS:

@nijiru @illyanam1011

[sungbeam]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘 : a series!

[7 OF 11 NOW CUFFED!] ; it's cuffing season! — and the boyz are in for quite the adventure as they learn to juggle school, work, friends, and love.

starring: the boyz, f!reader

genre: college au, fluff, humor, comfort, assorted pairings

word count: 216k/?? // at least 20k+ words per part

**note: the main plotline (the 4 szns) can be read completely as stand-alones. all other spin-offs can also technically be read as stand-alones, but some might require context from the main plotline. (all prev yns will appear as __!yn)

+ ADD THIS TO YOUR LIST (taglist form: open)

a/n: i'm very excited for this series tbh and i really hope i retain the strength to finish it 🤧 a great way to help me out tho is to blow this post up by reblogging, esp since tumblr gatekeeps the actual fics when they're published :')

SEASON ONE: PARTY PEOPLE — jacob b.

yours and jacob's mutual friend kevin is convinced that you're meant to be, even if he only just met you. (trailer, 34k)

SEASON TWO: FLIGHT RISK — eric s.

you and eric met on an airplane, and that's where you thought it would end, but clearly the universe has a different plan in mind. (trailer, 30k)

SEASON THREE: OFF THE RECORD — j. changmin (parts 𝐈, 𝐈𝐈)

everyone thinks changmin is cute and harmless, but you know that's not who he really is. (trailer, 36k)

SEASON FOUR: AIN'T NO ROMEO — l. hyunjae

your best friend hyunjae ain't no romeo, but you're still in love... so let's hope he doesn't find out you wrote a whole play about him! (trailer, 30k)

— spin-offs & side adventures.

RHAPSODY ANONYMOUS — k. sunwoo

you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's. (trailer, 28k)

RESCUE PROTOCOL — kevin m.

another summer break, another annual trip to the lake! except, it seems like when you and kev get there, you'll have to make some tweaks to the original rescue protocol. (trailer, 29k)

AT YOUR CONVENIENCE — k. younghoon

neither you nor younghoon were party people, but you did find love in the convenience store down the block. (trailer, 29k)

HOT COMMODITY — j. haknyeon

no matter how many times he's been to this restaurant, haknyeon swears he's not just here for the cute waitress. (trailer, __)

PINKY SWEAR — c. chanhee

you and chanhee are far from the years of pinky swears, but here you are, still lacing fingers after all this time. (trailer, __)

THE REVEAL — l. sangyeon

does sangyeon really have a secret girlfriend? well... let's find out. (trailer, __)

CLASS(Y) ACTION — l. juyeon

nothing is more cutthroat than the legal sphere, and sometimes we have to find allies in the strangest places—even if he spills coffee on you. (trailer, __)

EXTRA/"DELETED" SCENES

section under construction.

EXTRA, EXTRA CONTENT

— QUIZZES!

lmk what u got for a free smooch and a cookie 🤸‍♀️🥰

which love in unity boy will you be cuffing this year? (uquiz)

which love in unity boy will you be cuffing this school year? (**NEW & IMPROVED VER)

love in unity trivia !! for the main plot only (uquiz)

— ALT. READING ORDERS

if u want to read this series in timeline order, this is how it should be done: jacob/younghoon, eric/haknyeon, changmin/sunwoo, hyunjae/chanhee, sangyeon, kevin, juyeon

if u wanna read sungbeam's favorites (no particular order): at your convenience, ain't no romeo, (more to be decided!)

— SERIES TAGS: general series. any wip can be searched via "wip: _____" (usually just the initials, except for party people); or "the (member) fic™"

[fleet-of-fiction]

Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Summary: You bagged a part in a little indie movie. But your co-star is changed at the final hour, meaning you've never met him before. Josh is the director's friend, doing him a well earned favour by starring in the steamy little flick. Everything appears to be going well, until a technical problem means you're left undressed and exposed underneath your co-star. And things start to get a little real.

A/N: I wrote this little piece last year, just to satisfy a little itch I needed to scratch. It was the last piece I wrote before Josh came out a few days later. And ever since, I have written Josh as queer. However, I still love all the Josh fics I wrote before and they are still worthy of being shared. As are all fics. So please, enjoy one of my older pieces in my new space!

Warnings: All the usual smuttyness you've come to expect from me, including the usual foreplay details and full penetrative sex. Nothing too out of the ordinary.

You tightened the robe around your waist and lingered on the edge of the set. The bed looked unmade already. The light above it hanging precariously low.

And your co-star had been re-cast at the very last minute. Leaving you with a bundle of nerves in your stomach, wondering if there would even be chemistry between the two of you.

The brief introduction that morning had left you wondering if you could get through the scene. It demanded so much intimacy and tension that your resolve had fallen by the wayside the moment you shook his hand and he gave you his name, Josh.

He wasn't anything like your previous co-star. His smile was so wide and sincere it disarmed you immediately. He smiled with his eyes. Something you'd yet to encounter in any co-star you'd worked with previously. Not that there were many, you were still in the infancy of your career.

This was your first big movie. Big in the sense that it had a name attached to it now that would bring audiences in. Your newly appointed co-star was already known in his own right. But today, he was just doing an old friend a favour.

"Nervous?" He asked, appearing at your side in a matching robe, void of all his previous clothes and accessories.

He looked a little different without his earrings and beads. His hair a little more tamed, curls resting casually against his buzzed sides. Certainly, he didn't intimidate you as much.

"A little." You replied, watching the camera and mic being set up. "You?"

He smiled that wide sparkle of a grin again and looked down at his feet.

"You'd think I'd never performed in front of thousands of people before the way my heart is beating so fast right now."

His honesty warmed that space between your chest and stomach. You were strangely comforted.

"This is a little different." You pointed out, "A closed set is way more intimidating than an audience of thousands."

"It seems that way." He agreed, "Have you ever done this before?"

You were fresh out of college. Still climbing the audition ranks, setting yourself up for a knock back each time until the answer had been an unwavering yes. Just a little indie movie that had barely made the festival circuit. And certainly, there'd been no sex involved.

"This is my first time." You confessed nervously, "I spent a lot of time getting to know the previous guy, but in the end it just didn't feel right."

Josh shook his head. "Chris wasn't happy with him, either. That's why he called me. I owed him a favour from a few years ago. And, I liked the script anyway."

He was cute. A little dimple forming in his cheek as he spoke. Your nerves began to churn in your stomach at the thought of having him so close to you.

"You've known Chris a long time?" You asked, trying to keep the conversation light as the crew continued to mess with all the gear.

"Since film school." Josh replied, "We used to make short films together out in the woods or in my parents garage. He's come a long way since then."

"So have you, by all accounts." You replied, immediately regretting your choice of words.

You didn't want him to know that you'd looked him up the moment you'd been informed he was going to be working with you.

He stole a glance towards you. A look of benign surprise on his face. As if he was touched that you'd done the research.

"It would seem that you know more about me than I know about you."

You couldn't help but find that insignificant fact slightly alluring. There was no google search that would bring up anything of value about you. Your name wasn't known. You wondered if he had tried.

"Well, I'm a Vegetarian Pisces who enjoys long walks on sandy beaches and drinking wine from my birth year." You replied jovially, trying to keep your nerves in check.

"Is any of that true?" He probed further, pulling a little tighter on the belt of his robe, the veins in his hands almost popping.

"I think, maybe, it would be more prudent of us not to know too much about each other." You said, turning to face him, "I knew a shit ton about the other guy and in the end I realised there was nothing there."

He considered it for a moment. "You have to give me something, you at least have something about me."

Chris was somebody you'd been excited to work for. He was leading the way for indie movies, his work often starting with toe-curling visuals of traumatic events and then crumbling into intimate moments such as the one you were about to film in order to shock audiences and make them fall in love with the characters.

It made sense that he had had asked Josh to step in. You could see how passionate he was on stage in the video's you'd watched. The hours of scrolling you'd done the night before to get a feel of him, which clearly meant nothing now that he was stood at your side. His vibe completely different to what you'd expected.

"Ok, you can have something." You allowed, "I'm truly a Vegetarian Pisces. But I can't stand wine. And I definitely don't have any desire to walk long distances over sand."

He laughed a little. The sweetest sound. A little low uh huh that made the knot in your stomach tighten. The way he made you feel becoming more apparent as you stood there. The anticipation just about threatening to choke you.

Chris suddenly clasped his hands together, the sound drawing you from your internal dialogue.

"Ok, we're ready for you now." He announced, gesturing over to the bed. "So, I think it would be best if we have you both in missionary. The bed sheet will be hiding your lower halves. But top halves will be exposed."

You allowed your robe to fall. Revealing your body in infinite detail beneath the low light. The modesty patch between your legs shrouding the most intimate part of you, but every line and curve of you otherwise on display.

You slipped into the unmade bed. Preparing yourself. Mentally skimming over what he might look like underneath that robe. He wasn't as tall as the other guy, far less daunting for you. His slight build had caught you off guard at first, dressed in a white t-shirt and a pair of beige shorts. Not what you'd expected in the slightest.

Your eyes fell to the side as he followed suit. Letting his robe fall to the ground. A sincere and subtle gasp leaving your mouth as you gazed at his body. His modesty patch sitting snugly against his bulge, which was far more robust that you'd been able to conjur in your mind.

His chest was perfectly smooth. His stomach lined with a trail of hair reaching up from below up to his navel. The muscles at his waist creating that shape you could never look away from. Arms perfectly sculpted, like every part of him was solid and smooth. Carved from marble.

As he made his way over to you, there was a profound rush of blood to your core. You felt the ache almost immediately as he positioned himself above you. Leaning his weight on arms either side of you. Your legs wide open beneath the sheet, with very minimal contact.

"Are you both comfortable?" Chris asked, signalling over to another member of the crew, who brought a smaller camera unflinchingly close.

You nodded. Josh nodded.

"Ok, hold those positions for me just a second..."

Chris scurried off. Exchanging heated words with the rest of the crew. You couldn't make out what they were saying, but you knew it wasn't good.

"There's a technical issue." Josh sighed, "And if we move then they'll have to set up the lighting all over again."

You wrinkled your nose. "You managed to catch all that?"

"Can't see why else he would be so pissed." He surmised, daring to look down at you for the first time.

You took note of the way the muscles in his arms were flexed. His shoulders a little hunched, straining against his modesty patch not making contact with yours. You could see him start to visibly shake.

"I can't hold like this much longer." He moaned, his voice low and careful. "We might have to move, anyway."

It was in your mind to agree. There was a part of you that wanted to make a good impression, though. To not create more issues when there appeared to be enough already. Josh was so tense. So consumed with professionalism. It was endearing.

"Relax a little." You encouraged. "That can't be comfortable for you like that."

"Oh, there's nothing I would love more." He replied heartily, "But the minute I do there's nothing stopping us from...uh, bumping into each other."

"Josh." You said pointedly, "You'll be too exhausted for the scene, just let go. I don't mind..."

You could see that he was lost in thought. His eyes trailed down the centre of your chest and came to rest at your breasts. A little tremble in his lip as he allowed his body to soften against you. His shoulders dipped a little. His waist moving forward. You could feel his modesty patch rest against yours. But it wasn't unpleasant. And the look of sheer relief on his face was radiant.

"Guys I'm so sorry about this." Chris said, hurrying back over to the bed with a little walkie talkie in his hand. "I know it's meant to be a closed set but I need my tech guy and his assistant to come in. Feel free to get back into your robes and we can re-set."

"We're good." Josh replied, without any hesitation. "The last thing you need is a re-set."

There was a peculiar edge to the way Chris' face responded. Almost as if he hadn't expected it.

"Are you sure? I mean... I don't know how long this is going to take..."

"I'm sure." Josh continued, "Do what you have to do."

Chris looked towards you. "You ok down there?"

The scent of his cologne was in the air. A sexy, woody scent that was unlike anything you'd ever smelled before.

"All good here." You replied, fighting the urge not to lift your head into the crook of his neck to take in more of it.

Suddenly it was as if you were alone with him. Chris and the rest of the crew were gathered at the side, preoccupied with the faulty camera and lost in muffled conversation.

Josh was quite literally between your legs. Your bodies in full contact. His stance a little more fluid now, but he still held himself above you as a matter of politeness.

"I like that freckle." He pondered, making eyes at the little dark spot on your collar bone.

You couldn't help but giggle. "I like your scar."

You reached up and tapped your finger against his cheek. "Chicken pox?"

"I was six." He replied, "Me and my brother both got it at the same time. He's got a scar on the same side, too."

Oh god, why did he have to be so charming? You could see the way he was fighting against looking at you, trying to keep your eye contact rather than notice all the nuances of your body.

"You can't help yourself, can you?" You said, taking in the brown and hazel in his eyes. "You're a talker, aren't you?"

Crimson rose in his cheeks. "I'm sorry. It's just a bizarre situation to be in."

"Agreed." You sighed, "Although I am going to have to move a little, my hips are starting to ache."

Immediately, he lifted up. Allowing you to close your legs a little before repositioning. The contact sent ripples of heat throughout your body. The sensation of his skin against yours was so palpable, you hadn't expected it.

"You want me to stay up here or...?" He asked, lingering in the space between your thighs.

"Take the stress off your arms." You replied, inviting him to bring his weight down upon you.

He lilted down onto his forearms, taking the strain off his biceps. Bringing his face a little closer. And his bulge was pressed even further against your patch. All you could focus on was the way he felt against you. Smooth and solid. And he smelled heavenly.

"I kinda wish there weren't any camera's rolling." He confessed, "Then we could just get on with it."

You couldn't fight against the natural position of your arms. Resting at your side, it felt more comfortable to bring them to the curve of his spine. Less awkward. The movement made him hiss through clenched teeth.

"Then it would be a terrible movie that nobody would ever get to see." You muttered, trying to keep your touch feather light.

You barely noticed when Chris returned, kneeling at the side of the bed as you stared into Josh's eyes.

"Ok, we need to ditch this camera entirely. It's fucking dead." He explained, "So the plan is to keep the primary one rolling and get all the side angles done. I've sent for a replacement. So it might mean having to do all of this again after lunch. Which I can only only apologise for."

It didn't feel as if an apology was required. There was a hint of a sly grin on Josh's perfectly pouted mouth as he looked at you.

"You want us to go at it?" Josh asked, "Like, right now?"

Chris rolled his eyes, speaking with his hands as he gave a little direction.

"You're in love with this girl. It's your first time back at her place. You're a little nervous. And you've been waiting for this moment. Try to play it like that. She doesn't know you're in love with her yet. But she's in love with you, too. It's like a secret you both carry. I'm going to leave the camera running while I go and make sure the back up is running ok. I'll leave Mike to run it, he knows what he's doing. I think this could work out much better, actually."

As Chris walked out of the room, it fell silent. You could scarcely feel the presence of the guy standing in the corner, manning the camera quietly. You had no dialogue. No idea where to even begin.

A small voice broke the tension. "Uh, just to let you know we're rolling, guys."

Josh was trembling again. You could feel him shake against you. His mouth open a little as he checked in with you.

"I'm going to kiss you now, if that's ok?"

You didn't need to respond in words. It felt like permission to do whatever he wanted was silently granted. You didn't want to film a love scene with him. You wanted to fuck him, genuinely and passionately fuck him. Not as your character, but as yourself. And you'd never felt more disappointed.

Why couldn't you just be professional? Even as he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against yours you wished that you could just let him touch you without wanting it to be real.

The kiss deepened as you opened your mouth. Letting his tongue slide in, making sure the camera could see it as he turned his head. He felt like velvet. The taste of mint on his breath. Like he'd prepared for you.

In the distance, you heard a door opening.

"Oh, that's good." You heard Chris say, as he came back in carrying a bundle of wires and cords. "There's going to be soundtrack over the visual, so don't worry about verbal co-ordination. You're doing great."

You could feel yourself want to move. The bed sheet was languishing at Josh's waist, thin and light enough that your shadows could be seen beneath. You wrapped your legs around him a little, causing him to gasp into your mouth.

"Oh, shit..." He uttered, burying his face into the curve of your neck.

You felt it. The hardness. The way it grew against his modesty patch and threatened to detach it entirely.

"I'm so sorry....I'm so sorry...." He breathed, urgently recoiling his hand down to where he tried to contain it.

"Just go with it." You whispered, "I'm a grown woman, aren't I?"

You reached down and whipped it off for him. The relief etched in his brow as his cock sprang free. You knew that Chris had noticed. How could he not? But he remained silent.

You drew him into a rhythm. His cock pressed achingly hard against your patch, his girth and length writhing up against you as his body moved. The simulation only partially real.

"Is this ok?" He asked in peaked breaths, trying to keep his flushed face in shot.

"Mmm'hmmm." You replied softly, tossing your head back and arching your spine to accommodate the new sensation.

That was when you heard them talking. Chris and Mike in the corner, their heads leaned in to one another, discussing something you couldn't make out.

"Just keep going." He finally said, "We're going to dip out. The camera is on. Do whatever."

The door closed. The set fell to a level of intimacy you hadn't expected. Josh, above you, looking down as he began to pound into you.

You were hopelessly caught in the crossfire of wanting to take your own modesty patch off. To reach down and just pull it away. Biting down on your lower lip against the intrusive thoughts.

"Oh, fuck..." He stuttered, trying so hard to keep himself steady. "I can't believe this is happening..."

You felt a little moisture land on your stomach. Looking down you could see him leaking out above your patch.

"Just say it, Josh." You said breathlessly, "Just tell me to take it off."

There was a conflict there in his face as he considered it. You began to wonder what would happen if he didn't? Did it mean that he didn't want it like you did? Was his throbbing hard on just a reaction to the environment or did he really want to fuck you, too? His body was tense again, his tongue coming into your mouth a little harder as he continued to pound his erection against the little strip of fabric keeping you apart.

"Fuck it." He finally relented, "Take the fucking thing off."

The sound which escaped your lungs as he plunged into you filled the entire room. The sheet slipped off the bed. You could feel your legs being lifted, his torso leaning up. You were at his mercy.

He filled you up so completely. Stretching you. Making it sting. His beautiful little grunts intensified as he looked down at you, laid bare for him in reality as well as for the film.

"You look so fucking beautiful." He told you, uncertain if it were Josh speaking to you or if he was still in character.

It mattered little. This feeling was euphoric. The camera only serving to make the rush that little bit more erotic. You laid there and marvelled at his body as he fucked into you. Every muscle that flexed on display for you.

Or was it for you? Was it for the camera? You looked over towards it. Breaking a cardinal rule. The red light on the side flashing.

"Do you like to watch?" You asked, staring directly into the lens.

Josh stilled for a moment. "Oh, you're fucking filthy aren't you?"

"They can't use this now." You mused, pulling him down onto you again, missing the contact of him against you. "Just fuck me good, we can do a real take later."

He took his cue from you, nobody else. Even if it meant you'd be fired, you would have this. He felt too good. Each thrust was sweeter than the last. Questioning yourself on why you wanted him so bad. This wasn't like you. You weren't the type to risk everything for how good a cock felt inside you.

"You like how I feel, huh?" He asked, ask if he could hear your reverie loud and clear.

"Fuck, yes." You found yourself saying, "Oh, fuck...I'm in so much trouble..."

He managed to smile that devastating grin as he hung above, deliciously moving his hips into you a little slower. Teasing. Making it last longer.

"Don't worry." He reassured, "Your pussy feels so fucking good, there's no way I'm not fucking this again."

You were floored. Dumbfounded. "What about...Chris...the movie..."

His mouth was at your nipples. Grazing his teeth over the hard peak, licking around them until he took them between his lips and sucked.

"Don't make me say it." He said between bites, "I'll make him delete this. But not before I get a copy. You won't be out of a job, trust me..."

He was sincere and genuine before, you had no reason to doubt his sincerity now. Not while he was inside you. Telling you how good you felt, how beautiful you looked. You'd never seen anyone more engrossed in you, his focus completely on you and not on your surroundings.

"Where do you want me to cum?" He asked diligently, his tongue licking a stripe up your throat.

You could barely keep it together. Your high pitched moans coming in louder, fingers digging into his ass cheeks as he picked up the pace.

"I don't care..."

Your clit was throbbing for pressure. Instinctually, he seemed to gravitate towards it. Pressing his thumb against the swell as he continued the onslaught. The entire thing was so erotic, so unlike you.

"Are you on birth control?" He asked tentatively, leading soft and slow swirls against your clit as he watched his cock slide in and out of you.

You nodded. Looking up at how he seemed to know exactly where your mind was at.

"Oh, you're fucking getting it." He said, "All of it."

You knew he was close. The way he came down on you and pressed his entire body against you. Ready to give his all into the final thrusts. You were satisfied, but not nearly close to being done with him.

"You first." He whispered softly, gyrating his hips in a circular motion so that your clit got full sensation.

You fell apart so quickly, it was like a bolt of lightening striking from the tip of your clit and resonating out towards the rest of your beating veins. You gripped him so tight, certain he would cum soon after.

"That's so fucking hot." He told you, "I felt everything twitch, your pussy felt so tight..."

Fuck, he really was a talker. You heard him whisper obscenities as he continued. Working himself up into a frenzy.

You felt the need to requite his tenacity.

"Fucking cum inside me!" You demanded, locking your legs against his ass. "I want to feel it spill."

He wasn't expecting it. But you felt vindicated as he convulsed on top of you. Moaning heavily into your ear. The hot, warm and sticky mess he created spurting inside you. Nothing had ever felt more intense.

For a moment nothing felt real. Not the light above. Nor the camera at your side. The silence was deafening as you both tried to catch your breath.

Reeling back into reality.

"What the fuck just happened?!" You asked, "Oh my god, I am so fucking sorry. That was so unprofessional of me!"

"And me." He replied, his throat flexing as he swallowed hard. "I didn't mean for that to happen, at all. I promise."

"But it did happen." Chris said, peeking his head around the door. "Is it safe to come in?"

Josh was soft now. Pulling away from you, but leaving his cum behind. He wrapped the bed sheet around you both, making sure your modesty was kept despite what you'd both just done.

"I can't lie guys, I wasn't expecting that." He sighed, rubbing a stressed hand across his brow. "And you know I can't use 99.9% of that, because it would be classed as porn."

"I know, buddy." Josh replied mischievously, "I'm sorry, it just got really weird up here for a minute there."

Immediately, he looked over at you. "Not weird like...I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it when I met you this morning, truth be told."

Chris turned off the camera. Clearly conflicted.

"I can't lie guys, that was some of the hottest shit I've ever seen. I would love nothing more than to include it in the movie. I really would. It was...intense. The way you both looked at each other, shit you had me believing you were honestly in love."

You felt slightly smug.

"So, I'm not fired?" You asked, feeling Josh's cum against your thighs, like a memory you weren't ready to let go of.

"No, you're far from fired." Chris replied, laughing a little as he shook his head and started setting up the replacement camera. "However, you are going to have to get yourselves cleaned up and do this again. But...for pretend this time...I can't believe I'm actually saying this."

You didn't want to move. Even as Josh unashamedly tossed you a new robe, you could feel yourself wanting to die a little inside. Chris didn't even flinch as Josh got up, kissing you on the lips as he left.

"I'm so fucking embarrassed." You sighed, trying to put the robe on without Chris getting an eyeful of everything he'd already seen.

"Ah, don't be." He replied, "Josh was never a wallflower. Even in college. He liked a fucking audience, I don't know why I expected anything less when I asked him to do this."

"So... he's done this before?" You dared to ask, wrapping yourself in the soft towelling and rising from the bed.

Chris was clearly amused. "From what I saw behind the scenes, I think he might have taken his lead from you? It doesn't really matter. But for what it's worth, no. He's never done this before."

"Oh." You replied, a wave of something you had no name for blooming in your chest.

"Go and get some lunch and be ready to do this again....sort of...in an hour. Ok?" He instructed.

"Ok." You replied, padding off towards the dressing room in the direction Josh had gone in.

The End.

@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon @vikingisthenewsexy @char289 @gretavangroupie

[silkoodles]

Please tell us more about ur transfem bradley headcanons 😭🙏

I tried to keep these transfem-bradley focused but I just devolved into giving you the plot to the maxley fic in my head involving her. maybe if I just tell you about the fic in my head i won't have to write it lol. long list ahoy

a lot of the pre-transition bradley characterization headcanons i have come from that one fic by @maxstgel that inspired the first sketches. so a lot of these are inspired by that and you could even consider this a fan fic of what happens after that (once it finishes i mean, it's all up in the air since its just 2 chapters rn)

She has not chilled in the least since being taken down a peg, she is still pretty narcissistic, but less pressured to be perfect

She started dressing hyper feminine at first but later got a more balanced wardrobe

likes golf, has taken up mini golf since she can't go to a real golf course easily anymore

She has taken up gardening as a hobby

She finished college as Bradley and transitioned after, once she was more able to cut ties from her family

She works as a retail pharmacist and part time as the jammer in a roller derby team with her friends.

She decided to not pursue residency after graduating because she wanted to get away from her dad more than anything, and residency would have probably taken another 4 years on top of the 8 she spent at college.

She met her current friends trying out for the roller derby team to stay in shape and keep skating. i have come up with designs for all 4 of these girls and i need help

She has a biological little sister who's an adult by now, out of the two, Janice looks more like their mother now. And that kind of freaks her out

Her name's now Janice, after her late grandmother. It's old fashioned but she had a good relationship with her before she passed. I also chose that name cause of the "Sure, Jan." meme, i thought it was funny.

Later her grandfather (Uppercrust the first) finds her, not knowing why his son would cut ties.

He sends Tank to find her, because as far as he knows, Tank was the last person/friend with Bradly iii. Which technically was true, but Tank needed money and didn't have the heart to tell og B.Uppercrust that he hadn't talked to Bradley since graduation.

Queue the most harrowing college reunion for Janice ever because she thinks he's still mad. Tank is more shocked than anything. I actually wanna write this scene

Grandpa's surprisingly cool with Janice (the name and new person) he just wants her to come back to the family because it'd be a waste of a good education and resources.

Max Goof just happens to spot her out in the wild and after realizing who it is, he loses his mind and practically begs her to let him take her out because he needs to know her.

Somehow it works, because Janice likes being sucked up to.

eventually she makes up with Tank and the other Gammas too, I gave them all names and fucking everything. I actually wrote this scene

One of them doesn't realize who she is and starts shamelessly flirting with her.

This guy:

his name is Tony.

[dayseternal-blog]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Bunny-senpai!!! 💕

I answered an ask similar to this one last year in March and I don't think my answers have changed...

I rewrote each blurb haha, so it's not an exact copy-paste from before.

1 “It’s No Secret” - Rated M, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata returns to Konoha after 5 years studying abroad in the Moon Kingdom. She just wants to enjoy her last year of high school as a normal girl, but blossoming love forces her to confront her future. - My top fave. Back then, I wrote this like I was possessed. This story consumed my mind, and I was posting chapters every 1 or 2 weeks. I'm amazed at myself from back then. No, it's not my technically best writing, but I was having so much fun thinking up all kinds of scenes!!! Oh, to be a fanfic writing newbie all over again. Major love to everyone who's read this flirty teenage shenanigans mess and enjoyed it!!! One day I will write part two 🥺

2 “Nightdreams” - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto and Hinata find comfort in each other after the war. - This fic idea came to me sometime after I read agitosgirl's "A Special Friend," and I wanted Moooooore!!! I wanted more of this hurt/comfort dynamic between NaruHina!!!! So bam, the fic almost wrote itself, it flowed so easily (except for when it didn't). I'm so happy that people reread this fic, and then tell me that they're rereading it :D. Once in awhile I reread it, too, and think, oh, I should fix that sentence, or whatever loll, but I don't. I kind of think it's nice to leave it as it is, imperfect in little ways to bother me. Please read this fic and recognize that I was copying Katarinahime's writing techniques throughout.

3 “Awkward Jocks” - Rated G, 1990s High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. She knows that if he were to ever ask her out, she would accept in a heartbeat. After all, he’s the star quarterback and basketball player. Plus, she’s liked him since…forever. But when her home phone rings, and he’s on the other line, she hangs up. - It's interesting to me that even after all the fics I've written over the years, it's a few of my oldest fics that take the top 3. I guess I really have been trying to write for myself since the start. This one is based off of my ex-coworker's love story. Even though I don't work with her anymore, I still think of her as my role model for good leadership. When you read this, I hope you can feel how much I love her!

4 “About You” - Rated G, 1970s High School AU, One-shot. A summer job at the Dole pineapple cannery, graveyard shift 10 PM to 6 AM. A long bus ride into and out of town. Two teens, shy beside each other. - This is my most personal fanfic. Based on stories my parents told me and stories I found online from people of their generation, I tried to dive into their time using NaruHina. Ever since I was inspired to write after reading emmykay's "Torch Song," I had wanted to write a fic with Japanese-Hawaiian pidgin dialogue. This fic is close to my heart, but it's not higher on the list because there are inaccurate details that bother me 😅. I'm thinking of writing a fic about my great grandparents' generation one day, I've done a ton of research for it! Anyway, I'm so happy that others love this fanfic, too.

5 “Matcha” from “Shared Vows” - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Naruto calls Hiashi “father” for the first time. - According to my previous blurb, I picked this one because I loved how I structured it, I thought I wrote it really well. I also loved the notion of Naruto finding his own family. On deeper reflection, I think I also picked this one over "Finally Home" because I have a not-so-secret agenda for reconciliation between Hinata and Hiashi, fed by my own family's dynamic with my dad.

If I were to recommend any one of these for someone to read, I'd say they should start with Nightdreams or Matcha as an intro to some of my work since canon universe fanfic is always easier to digest.

[diacripticcomplex]

Can there be more ayayui? I've only seen one of the fics that u wrote with ayayui and I would like to see more please and thank you :)

(Inspired by a scene in HDB)

Ayato's POV:

She's been avoiding me. I tried snatching her up earlier and she found a way out of that. I don't know what's gotten into her but there's no way in hell she gets to avoid me. I'll make her regret that. I wait for her after one of her stupid classes, I technically should be in that class too but what good will it be for me to learn human literature? Anyway, the students start exiting the classroom, I notice her titless self coming out, she always has this ditzy look on her face, it's hilarious. I quietly stalk behind her, making sure she doesn't even notice my shadow, which wasn't difficult at all. She's an airhead half the time. I cornered her at the staircase and revealed myself. I could see the sheer panic written all over her face. I welcomed that look, it definitely does it for me.

"Ayato...!!" She yells out, I couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, it's the great Ayato, who you have been avoiding, why?" I questioned her, she wasn't looking me in the eye so I took my hand to grab her chin but she managed to escape, she really is an idiot, I can smell her 5 miles away. She ended up running into a storage room, I teleported in and made sure to lock and block the door. She's not going anywhere.

I push her up against the wall, taking her chin to look directly at me. Yet she still averts her gaze. "What's going on with you??" I asked her, I was seriously confused, she never acts like this. "Ayato..you really don't understand emotions at all.." she replies back, what does she mean by that? I gave her a confused expression and asked her what she was going on about, but then it dawned upon me. Ha! this cheeky virgin. "You're acting this way over a kiss? haha you're hilarious." I tell her, and she gets all defensive. "Well it wasn't really a kiss though! You were just drinking my blood from my lip..there's no way that would count as a kiss.." she says then looks down, I couldn't help but laugh a little at her, this was too cute. She's such an intriguing girl her reactions kinda turn me out. "You're right, I think I can give you some better kisses." I say and catch her off guard, I press my lips to hers and give her a nice lovers kiss. My tongue slips in and I can feel her melting, she's never been kissed like this, she's never been kissed in general, I'll be her first everything, I'll teach her body, mind and soul to obey me. I snake my hands to her butt, and I grip it tightly, she's got a pretty nice ass to make up for the lack of breasts. I smack it, and this catches her by surprise. She pulls away but I bring her back into the kiss, I'm not even close to done. But she pulls away again, she's panting like crazy, of course. Honestly she looked so enticing I couldn't help but kneel down, I told her to take off her panties, she refused. Of course she would refuse she's a lil virgin, not for long. I'm about to take her. I drip her legs and then take off her underwear, she tried crossing her legs, that won't stop me. Her attempts did fill me up with joy though, I liked seeing her fiery spirit, humans can be so lame sometimes. I pry open her legs and then place light kisses up her thigh, licking and sucking her inner thigh leaving my marks all over them, she was lightly moaning at this, but still telling me to stop, that's fine the more she hates it the more I will do it. I take a bite out of her thigh then take my finger, lapping some of her blood, I pop my fingers into my mouth to lick off the blood, I make sure I give her eye contact because then I place my fingers into her soaked sweet part. "A..Ayato why..?" She stuttered out, I smirked at her, and stuck my entire tongue in there, I licked it from bottom to top, but before I could go crazy on her, a 4 eyes clean freak opened the door and disrupted us.Oh man, here comes a lecture. "Ayato, I never imagined you would do such a vile thing at school, see to it that you both clean yourselves up and take these activities elsewhere." Looks like she's saved for now, I won't let her get away next time!

[rocksibblingsau]

Do you have any writing tips?

I'm still a beginner writer myself and I'm not sure if you mean for technical skill or the writing process but my tips would be:

Don't be afraid of the word said. As tempting as it is to avoid saying it because you feel like it's everywhere, it makes the times you DON'T use it stand out more if you use it a generous amount and honestly I never notice when someone uses 'said' a lot.

Listening to music that fits the scene can help a lot. It's very hard for me to write a sad scene when 'Dance the Night' is playing on Spotify. For Trolls specifically it also helps if the music matches the genre you're portraying.

Have a bit of a framework that you can follow. When I finished Chapter 1 and I realized I wanted to turn this into an actual fic, I paused and thought about where I wanted the fic to go. I thought about plotlines and future events so that here in the past I can set things up well in advance and even foreshadow things.

That being said, keeping it a little loose also helps! I've changed some things and gotten new ideas since starting and it helps to have the space to make those changes!

Inspiration is a huge part of writing for me, and I think that any life experience or piece of media consumed when 10 years old can be used to make a cool story. I've ranged from using actual places I've seen to kids movies I barely remember.

Mixing truth and opinion in narration helps shape the protagonist and shows their perception of reality. You don't want the narration to be unreliable (unless you're aiming for 'unreliable narrating' type of storytelling) but seeing the character notice a small detail and then their thoughts derailing to an assumption tells me a lot about how that character thinks and how they perceive themself.

This is kinda cliche but: write the story you want to write. You will hit writer's block after writer's block and struggle so much if the story you're writing isn't one you would want to read. I get wanting good reception but you should be the first person who would see your story on AO3 or in a book store/library and go 'Oh my god FINALLY someone wrote this'.

It can be good practice to write little ficlets/one shots of the most off the wall random AUs you can think of. The practice can come from anywhere and I feel like the fact I make 1 million AUs in my head has helped me explore a bunch of random ideas and learn more about things I like and dislike in writing. A small idea that I came up with when messing about with an AU that makes 0 sense is actually making it into chapter 16 because I went 'oooh tasty worldbuilding and cute idea'.

I hope this helps, as again I'm very beginner to writing and even more so to posting works for others!

[raelle-writing]

DFF is such great show and I enjoy the portrayal of the characters and the plot. Although I am not much into JinPhee ship (even though their scene was hot) - meaning I won't actively search fics of them;-D. But I absolutely don't understand the hate this ship gets. Or Jin character gets? Like, did I miss something? Why there is so much hate towards this pairing? I don't get it. Or do they dislike Jin character so much?

So I think there are 3 main reasons that people hate PheeJin and specifically Jin as much as they do, and I'll see if I can explain it coherently below lmao

First is cultural differences.

I've noticed that by and large a lot of the hatred directed at Jin comes from international fans being extremely harsh, and I think it's partially because they don't understand some of the nuance of Thai culture. Which to be fair, why would they?

One aspect is that they get angry that Jin lied to the police without taking into account that the police are corrupt - both in the narrative and also in Thailand in general.

Another is they get mad at Jin for recording Non - which to be fair, really does suck lmao. But they make it about Jin recording Non instead of reporting the assault happening, without taking into consideration that the age of consent in Thailand is 15, which means that what happened with Non and Keng isn't technically statuatory rape. Still bad and awful and Non was coerced and assaulted, don't get me wrong - but that makes it slightly less clear cut IMO when it comes to the question of Jin seeing Non "cheating."

You can even see within the show that the reactions to that video are by and large slut-shaming and not "omg that kid was assaulted."

So to recap: Taking the video = bad. But I think people get a bit too self-righteous about the reasons why Jin took it.

Second is purity/cancel culture.

I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice that in the internet age, if you make one mistake you're a terrible, irredeemable person and should be canceled forever. I think that's playing a part in this. All of the characters make mistakes, and because of that they're all irredeemable pieces of shit who deserve to die. Except for Non who is just a victim and has never done anything wrong (sarcasm).

In seriousness, I think that's part of it. And the fact that Non is SO sympathetic it kind of overrides people's sympathies for the other characters. I'm not 100% sure why people hate Jin the most out of everyone else considering he's the one who has tried to help Non the most out of the friend group... I guess they just have higher standards for people who try to help? Idk. Either way it seems to me that they expect Jin to be a perfectly-well-adjusted little hero who always does what's right and never makes mistakes. Instead of what he really is: a kid.

And last is fan favorites/shipping.

A big part of the reason that PheeJin shippers are getting so much hate is because TaCode shippers and PheeNon shippers have decided their ship is The Ship of the series, and think that Phee is just using Jin for revenge and anyone who genuinely ships PJ is fucked up, etc.

It's just ship war bullshit waged by largely Barcode stans, but it's certainly tiresome.

To be clear, I have nothing against PheeNon. I am of the opinion that Phee and Non were a cute high school romance that wouldn't have lasted because they had conflicting styles of showing affection and love (I'll write a post about it someday lol) but that doesn't mean I hate the ship. I thought they were very cute and it was fun to see TaCode on screen since I wrote MacauChay in my KPTS days ahahaha I just like the spice and fire of PheeJin better, and Jin is my favorite character.

I just wish that PheeNon shippers would live and let live instead of acting like they're waging some moral war. They were even crying in BOC's comment section on IG today after they posted the PheeJin poster for episode 9 saying "nooooo Phee is there for revenge he can't really have feelings for Jin!" It's exhausting... 🫠

General disclaimer: if you don't like Jin or like PheeNon better I'm not saying any of the above things applies to you. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I'm just dissecting some of the over-the-top hate I've seen/experienced in fandom spaces lately.

[ilovedthestars]

a trick or treat for @cellarwhales, who was having mysterious technical difficulties with my inbox

you asked for something hopeful or cathartic, so i am going to share some snips from the slightly angsty but mostly soft fic that i wrote after backreading the Murderbot has a Murdercat thread on discord. this wip was inspired by the excellent fic a hero to me by kiore ( @temporalreplicsimile ) and it's really not that far from being finished, but i stalled out on looking thru the books to find some quotes to tie the various snips i wrote into canon scenes.....i should go do that so i can post this!

these snips are scenes from ASR (starting immediately after the rogue discovery scene), but if Murderbot had a cat. because it deserves one.

---

A small, furry fauna streaked out of the corner and attacked my feet with its tiny claws. I was so relieved to see it that I didn’t even think before I bent down and lifted it off the floor. It shoved its head into the crook of my elbow and I had to pull my arms close to my body to keep from dropping it. It burrowed its face into my shirt and started to vibrate softly. I realized that all the humans were staring at me. Ratthi said, “Oh, is it yours?” I just stood there, trying frantically to think of a lie or an excuse that would explain why this small fauna had attached itself to me. Anything that wouldn’t lead to it being taken away. Arada said, “It came running out of the cubicle when we opened it, and wouldn’t come back. We weren’t sure how a cat got in with us, but if you brought it with you, that explains that.” Volescu said, “Is that…allowed? For SecUnits to have pets?” I tensed, and clutched the fauna a little closer to myself. Gurathin was frowning at the fauna in my arms. “It can’t possibly be allowed. It must have been hiding the cat, too. I suppose if it was rogue, it could have managed to sneak it in.” He put a little too much emphasis on the word rogue, and Mensah shot him a look. “SecUnit, I would like you to remain part of our group, at least until we get off this planet and back to a place of safety. At that point, we can discuss what you’d like to do. But I swear to you, I won’t tell the company, or anyone outside this room, anything about you or the broken module.” She considered the fauna, and added, “Or the cat.”

---

When we left for the rendezvous site, I left the fauna with the big hopper. I didn’t like it, but it wasn’t like bringing a fauna to a hostile negotiation was going to help anyone. It tried to follow me to the little hopper with Mensah. I picked it up and carried it back. “Stay here.” It knew to stay when I told it to stay. If it hadn’t figured that out quickly, it wouldn’t have lasted very long. It was a smart fauna. It tucked itself underneath one of the big hopper’s seats, almost out of sight, and stayed quiet. “Good fauna,” I told it. If everything went to shit, I hoped it would find a way to survive.

---

I was hovering on the edge of a system failure. I had flashes, off and on. The inside of the little hopper, my humans talking, something soft pushing against my hand. I felt the scrabble of tiny claws. It was my fauna. It was bumping my hand with its head and making tiny whimpering sounds. I didn’t want it to be scared, but my hand wouldn’t move to stroke it. Then being in the big hopper, as it was lifting up. I could tell from the drive noise, the flashes of the feed, that the pick-up transport was bringing it on board. The fauna licked my fingers. That meant the humans hadn’t left it behind.

[stephsycamore]

Hello friends. Yet another post on a topic literally no one here signed up for but the blog is about my hyperfixation of the month so here we are

I have been reading dramione. I know in my last post i said i was ki da over dramione after a couple of fics because i find the pairing too toxic but i only kinda lied because i have just reread the like 4 dramione fics i found and liked and now i will review them. Technically i have read/started more than 4 but i won't be commenting on fics i didn't like because that isn't fair to the writers.

The first one was manacled. Which i know what a fucking reintroduction to the fandom. But i am no young newbie. I used to read and rewrite A LOT of harry potter fic and while its still fuck jk rowling, she doesn't financially benefit from fic and i heard years ago that she doesn't like fic so. I hope its all a big fuck u to her.

Anyway, manacled. Wow!!! What the fuck???? It has lived rent free in my head ever since. I literally cannot stop thinking about it. If ever i reentered the harry potter fic world let it be known that it would be so i can write fanfic of this fanfic. A couple points - manacled is kinda overly long and would benefit from an editor/beta reader, but I heard senlinyu wrote it on her phone while nursing a baby and just???? Idk what her day job is, but that woman needs to be doing creative writing mfas, writers workshops, residencies, whatever. That is extraordinary creative talent.

I think the first part with hermione in the manor was a bit overly long and too torture porn ish. A lot of the scenes bordered into the unnecessarily gratituous. But overall, it was well plotted, well written, and gut wrenching. The last section takes my breath away

The second fic i read was Remain Nameless. And while i kinda don't love smut (it makes me a little uncomfy) i think remain nameless is a perfrct example of fanfic as a genre. Within fic, there are obviously genres, but there are stylistic elements and things that I think makes fanfiction a genre in itself. Remain Nameless is an exploration of character that goes beyond the confines of conventional or traditionally publish-able story structure. It is too long, too drawn out, too indulgent to be a traditionally published story. If i swap out the names and details in Manacled or Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in love (up next) out, its a probably close to a stand alone novel, but Remain Nameless relies on you knowing and already caring about Draco and Hermione. I don't mean that disparagingly at all, I just think sometimes people don't realize that fanfic should be different from traditionally published novels and that is a benefit of the genre. I think Remain Nameless is great. Its an indulgent, fluffy read that takes two broken people and slowly puts them back together again. Its like a hug in book format.

My next one is DMATMOOBIL!! I loved this one. And the author??? You cannot convince me that this fic was not written by someone with literal years of publishing experience in contemporary romance. No way. Its too good. Not just in a good writing way. Manacled is good in an unfiltered, raw talent way, but DMATMOOBIL is polished. The plot is perfectly structured and then each chapter within that is perfectly structured. I loved it. It wad witty, funny, heartfelt, and exciting. Not sure what more I can say about it. It reads like published fiction both in its polish and readability, and I think of all the fics I read has the best worldbuilding. It is truly exciting to read about the possibilities of magical and muggle science colliding in this book and bringing their world to the 21st century.

The last fic i read was Green Light by SereneMusafir. I thought it was so good but would benefit from being split into two maybe even three books. Green Light features a journalist coming to interview Draco many years after the events of the book, so that kinda complicates splitting it up, but as it stands, the story parts are too vast and thematically disparate to be one book. The first part has Draco and Hermione on an expedition in the desert to find a archeological myth and the writing is extraoridinary. Its poetic and cinematic. But I think at times it all tries to do too much. Like I said, the whole thing needs to be split up but each chapter also needs to be a bit shorter. Again, I don't mean cutting content, but rather restructuring. As it is, I read an incredible scene, but then there's like 5 more scenes of something else, and by the time I'm at the end of the chapter, I've kinda forgotten what amazing prose I read earlier on. Things get lost in this way. Beautiful passages buried.

I think two or three books would also allow each thematic section to be explored better. Idk i thought about this one a lot. I likely will not reread Green Light the way I have reread the others on this list, but other than Manacled, it is the one I think about most. Its the most ambitious plot wise and it kinda got lost in that ambition but I think it has so much potential and was over all very good.

Anyway. That is the end to this book review no one asked for. I will likely not be reading more dramione. So here ends that brief of excellent phase.

[karliahs]

hiii hero how about 3, 25, and 27 for the writing asks!!

thank you bud!!!

3. how you feel about your current WIP

rolling around in it like a cat in catnip. I wrote most of it in one day and it’s soft in like 8 different directions. I keep wanting to just post it but I know even though all the scenes have technically been written, it’s not Done done. the last 2 scenes need some work

but sorting them out is hard and rereading this extremely gentle shindeku + the one scene aizawa managed to worm his way into despite me once again telling myself he didn’t need to be in this fic is easy and fun

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

ahhh…too many. I crochet and do jigsaw puzzles and play video games and read and cook and jog and go on big walks. 

my latest thing is gardening!! I let my garden get wildly out of control for like 3 years, due to a combination of busyness, health problems, and then just the anxiety and inertia of not wanting to face how bad it had gotten. but recently I managed to sort my little front garden out and it’s given me motivation to start tackling the rest of it too

here is the first rose which just came through this last week! 

there’s obvs a lot of delayed gratification with gardening but next year my garden is gonna be so pretty…

also I’m in a fight to the death with some ivy and it’s very cathartic. I recently bought an electric saw to enhance my ivy murder capacity. these are the 2 sides of gardening as a hobby

27. your favorite part of the writing process

man I love when an idea just hits you like a truck and a thing just fully starts writing itself in your head. not everything I write is like that, a lot of the time it’s more deliberate work to draw it out, but I joked that ten of swords was haunting me and that’s fully what it felt like. this story is just Happening To Me now and I have to get it down. similarly my current wip I wrote…6k. in a day. because scenes wouldn’t stop writing themselves in my head. that initial burst of inspiration is energising and good

I do love editing also as seen by my extremely long answer to 17 but that’s like. a thing that is very difficult and time-consuming and ultimately satisfying. being struck by fic lightning is just fun

[youhideastar]

Fit for Purpose Deleted Scenes I: Alternate Version, First Half

Hi all! I have a lot of deleted scenes for Fit for Purpose - I mean A LOT, 10,000 words of deleted scenes, and that's in part because there's a whole other version of the story that I wrote and then mostly trashed: a three-chapter version where the first chapter looks like what Fit For Purpose looks like now, alternating present day and flashbacks; the second chapter retells canon (i.e., goes through WWX's story sequentially in flashback); and the third chapter picks up again in the present day with no flashbacks. I did this because (a) I was really worried readers would find it implausible that this universe's WWX would leave Yunmeng Jiang to defend the Wens and I wanted to show how that would go down and (b) there were some really cool flashback scenes that shed light on the worldbuilding or the characters' relationships that I loved but that didn't fit in the love story that Fit for Purpose was supposed to be all along.

Basically, there were two versions of this story fighting each other--one the love story, one the backstory--and the love story needed to win, and did. Ultimately, I imposed discipline on the story by creating a rule that every flashback had to be about (1) LWJ or (2) sex/romance. I then broke that rule several times 😂, but even trying to abide by the rule helped keep the story focused.

So the first set of deleted scenes I'm going to share is the first half of that alternate version middle chapter: retelling the drama's plot, but in this universe. It's just the first half for now (second half forthcoming) because I don't think you want to read a 5,000-word post 😂 and I'm going to try to keep my commentary on the scenes to a minimum so as not to make this post longer. Other deleted scenes posts are linked in the masterpost. I hope you enjoy!

The flashback chapter began with the Cloud Recesses arc. A pared-down version of this section made it into the posted fic.

When Wei Wuxian is seventeen, Yunmeng Jiang sends a delegation to Cloud Recesses for a year of study.

It gets off to a rough start when Jiejie’s betrothed—her betrothed!—kicks them out of their inn, and Wei Wuxian leaves behind their invitation. But it improves almost immediately when he finds himself dueling on moonlit rooftops and tackling cultivation mysteries with Gusu Lan Sect’s own head disciple: Lan Wangji, the sect’s alpha heir and one of the famed Twin Jades of Gusu Lan.

Lan Wangji is an impressive swordsman, and his cultivation knowledge is both deep and broad. He’s a challenge, a rival – something Wei Wuxian has never had. It’s exhilarating. The Second Jade of Gusu Lan is talented and beautiful, razor-sharp and bright-shining…

But.

But. He’s also such a fucking stick-in-the-mud. It’s not enough that he never has any fun – he doesn’t want anyone else having fun, either. Not even harmless, normal fun like fishing, or drinking, or fighting!

Wei Wuxian turns the problem over in his mind, and concludes that this is a boy who really, really needs to do some ‘practicing for the wedding night.’

Now yes, technically, what alphas and omegas do with Wei Wuxian is against the rules—sex is supposed to be reserved for your mate, and only your mate—and the upright, uptight Lan-er-gongzi is obsessed with his rules. But really. It would be a public service for Wei Wuxian to get that rigid fuddy-duddy well and truly laid, and that’s exactly what he intends to do.

He begins his campaign in the library.

Then you have the library and getting-LWJ-drunk scenes, which made it into the posted fic. Then this:

Anyway, after that, Wei Wuxian tones it down a little. He still tries to make Lan Zhan understand that he’s available – “many benefits to being my friend,” and all that. Still wants to make sure Lan Zhan knows he can come to Wei Wuxian for that, when he needs it. If he needs it. (Still hopes he will, because he stands by his opinion that Lan Zhan could use a tumble, for his own good.)

But he’s not sure anymore that Lan Zhan does need it. Lan Zhan is… weird. He’s prudish and judgmental and obsessed with rules and wound way too tight—Wei Wuxian still isn’t over the part where he turned himself in for drinking even though it was against his will—but Wei Wuxian is starting think that might just be… him. That’s Lan Zhan. And Wei Wuxian…

Well, he likes it. He likes Lan Zhan.

He likes his mean glares, and the way he ruffles like a startled cat when Wei Wuxian provokes him, and how fucking good he is at everything, how he can keep up with Wei Wuxian, and even push him, in a way that Wei Wuxian has never gotten to have and didn’t even realize he was missing. And he likes that Lan Zhan expects a lot of himself. That he holds himself to his sect’s annoying rules, even though he’s a rich, highborn alpha and could probably just coast on his birth and his brother’s reputation.

So. The embarrassing truth is, Wei Wuxian kind of likes Lan Zhan the way he is. Does he think Lan Zhan would be a lot happier if he were getting laid? Absolutely yes, and he’s not giving up on making that happen. But he doesn’t think he needs to fix Lan Zhan by getting him laid. Lan Zhan’s not broken. He’s just weird. And weird, Wei Wuxian decides, is okay.

Weird is, maybe, kind of great. At least when it’s Lan Zhan.

*

The thing with Lan Zhan, though, is that he kind of… makes Wei Wuxian forget. Forget what he’s supposed to be doing, forget what he’s supposed to be. Wei Wuxian’s life has been all about Yunmeng Jiang for so long that having something else—someone else—important in his life makes him—

No. That’s not fair. It’s not Lan Zhan’s fault. Whatever it is, this flaw in Wei Wuxian, this arrogance… it was there from the beginning. In his bones.

*

It starts in Cold Pond Cave: standing side-by-side with Lan Zhan before the great Lan Yi, joined at the wrist by Lan Zhan’s ribbon in a way that would be scandalous, if Wei Wuxian weren’t a beta. If it actually meant anything.

Lan Zhan swears to find and seal the Yin Iron, and Wei Wuxian, standing beside him, bound to him, promises the same.

It doesn’t feel wrong.

It feels amazing. Swearing his allegiance to a goal, a responsibility, a quest – a shared responsibility, him and Lan Zhan, spurred on by chivalry and the common good. It feels like the only thing he can do, when so much is on the line. When the whole cultivation world needs this, needs him.

And then he makes the same mistake at Qixi, side-by-side with Lan Zhan again, watching their shared lantern rise into the sky. He makes a vow.

Not to serve Yunmeng Jiang Sect. Not to protect Jiang Cheng and Jiejie. Not to do what Jiang-shushu saved his life to do, what Yu-furen charged him with, all those years ago.

No.

He vows to curb the wicked, and protect the weak; to always stand with justice, and keep a clear conscience. And he can tell Lan Zhan is with him – that Lan Zhan is committed to the same ideal.

That feels good, too. It feels right.

Only later will he look back at that kid in the cave, that kid on the cliff, and feel a terrible tightness in his chest. Only then will he see where he went wrong – forgetting himself, forgetting his place, his purpose.

That life of chivalry, that fight for justice—that’s not what he’s for. That’s for alphas and omegas. His purpose was determined for him at the moment of his birth.

But stubbornly—selfishly—he had wanted more.

*

Because of that, A-Yuan will live.

*

Because of that, Jiejie will die.

*

He doesn’t know any of that yet. That Qixi night, the biggest threat to Jiejie, as far as he’s concerned, is her stupid betrothed.

Jin Zixuan snarls, “I said, I don’t want to hear about that girl,” and Wei Wuxian decks him.

It’s his duty: he’s known his whole life that he might be called on to die for Jiejie someday, so getting in a little fistfight for her is nothing.

Lan Qiren agrees. “Fighting is forbidden,” he says, explaining to Jin Guangshan why Wei Wuxian is not being punished for blacking the eye of his son and heir, “but of course a beta must defend his sister.”

It’s probably the first time he’s ever agreed with Wei Wuxian about anything. But then, who could better understand a beta’s obligations?

Jiang Fengmian is summoned, too, because of the insult to his daughter. When his meeting with Lan Qiren is over, he hugs Wei Wuxian and tells him, “I’m proud of you, A-Xian.” Holding Wei Wuxian by the shoulders, gaze warm and direct, he adds, “A-Li is lucky to have a brother like you.”

I really liked showing how the JZX fight reaction would have been totally different in this universe; that was one of the things I hated to lose.

Here are a couple other versions of the Lan Yi cave scene - it was so pivotal to explaining why WWX would ultimately choose justice over his family that I knew I needed to get it right.

It’s a good thing, Wei Wuxian reflects later, that Lan Zhan got dragged into Cold Pond Cave with him, and not one of the alpha or omega disciples. Lan Zhan would never have wrapped his ribbon around them—it would have been tantamount to an engagement.

Then, in retrospect, he fucks up.

It doesn’t feel like fucking up at the time. It feels like the only thing he can do: the problem of the Yin Iron is his problem, because it should have been his mother’s problem, because it was her shizun’s problem. When he swears to help contain the Yin Iron, and prevent it from being misused, it feels right.

He won’t realize until later that this is where it all started to go wrong.

That a beta who belongs to Yunmeng Jiang has no business making promises to anyone else.

If Yu-furen had been in that cave, he’d never have made it out alive.

*

In Cold Pond Cave, Lan Yi gives him a charge – a mission.

It feels strangely familiar.

He remembers Yu-furen telling him, “You protect your jie and a-Cheng. You live for them. Die for them.”

It doesn’t occur to him until later that those missions might conflict.

It’s only later that he looks back at that kid in the cave and wants to shake him, wants to slap him—

He sold something that day. Something that wasn’t his to sell.

His allegiance, after all, was already spoken for.

It was spoken for when he was seven years old.

This next scene is just a sketch. I would have fleshed it out more if I'd posted this.

He really wants to go with Lan Zhan to find the Yin Iron. JFM notices, gives him permission. After all, didn’t he defend his sister so well?

But, in fact, you should take A-Cheng with you!

And Wei Wuxian is thrilled. He is! Even better, to take A-Cheng on the quest, too. How could he possibly be disappointed?

When they catch up with Lan Zhan, he pretends he’s not happy to see them, but Wei Wuxian isn’t fooled. They travel through Tanzhou, and then to Yueyang, where the innkeeper has a spooky story for them about the home of the Chang Clan.

Well. Of course they have to go.

*

When they get to the Yueyang Chang compound, Wei Wuxian is immediately on edge. Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng are calm, though.

“There’s no one here,” A-Cheng says, impatient. “We’d smell it if there were.”

Wei Wuxian can’t shake it, though. He keeps hearing little sounds that shouldn’t be there, seeing flickers in the corner of his eye.

“Who has the sense of scent here? Me or you?” A-Cheng bites, irritated as usual.

And that’s when Xue Yang appears with a fistful of purple powder and almost leaves all three of them permanently blind.

Then we'd pick up with the Xue Yang and Wen Indoctrination scenes that make it into the posted fic. There's also a Xuanwu Cave scene in the posted fic; here's a previous version of that, emphasizing WWX already starting to choose LWJ over his family, while the final version treats him staying in the cave as an act of sacrifice for his family:

In the Xuanwu Cave, Jiang Cheng motions him over, hisses his name.

WWX hesitates.

He knows his duty. His place. It’s by his didi’s side.

Lan Zhan looks up at him, bloodied. His brow is creased with pain.

“Go,” Wei Wuxian tells Jiang Cheng. “Send someone back for us!” Hopefully by that time, Jiang Cheng will be safe back in Lotus Pier.

It’s not a question of starvation this time. No one will rescue WWX – he’s served his purpose, in getting Jiang Cheng out. Any further use isn’t worth the danger and effort of the rescue. And with the Gusu Lan still in hiding, it seems unlikely anyone will come for LWJ. They have only themselves.

Then there's the Yunmeng Shuangjie scene in the posted fic.

And then…

Then there are arrows, and a kite—and the long, bloody price of Wei Wuxian’s clear conscience begins to come due.

*

For a moment, it seems like he can pay that price himself. With a whipping—and then, when that’s not enough, with his right hand. He would pay it willingly, joyfully, to keep Lotus Pier and Yunmeng Jiang Sect safe.

But it’s not enough.

His entire purpose in life was to protect the Jiang sect and family. And now…

Lotus Pier is overrun, then lost.

A few lucky disciples are scattered; the rest, slaughtered.

Yu-furen and Jiang-shushu are dead.

Jiejie is pale with fever.

A-Cheng is destroyed by grief; is missing; is mutilated. Nothing lives behind his eyes except a slithering kind of self-loathing.

It is Wei Wuxian’s fault, all of it. He knows this.

Yu-furen tells him so; Jiang-shushu, too. A-Cheng, with his hands around Wei Wuxian’s neck. Even Jiejie doesn’t argue when he confesses that he’s the one to blame. The knowledge of his own culpability rots in his heart: noxious, lightless, and thick.

When he finds the technique for the golden core transfer, all he feels is relief that goes all the way down to his marrow. Finally—finally, he can begin to atone. Finally, he can start to make it right.

These events are also super pivotal, so I took several cracks at the fall of Lotus Pier. The problem with this next one is that it surfaces the idea of WWX being LWJ's mate - not good! That idea is supposed to be unthinkable (literally, WWX can't think it even though it is obviously the most plausible explanation for LWJ's behavior), and having YZY make this accusation here would undermine that. It's also just a freaking long speech for YZY to make. People don't make speeches like this in real life; I try to use them very sparingly.

The whip marks again, from Zidian as always, as Wang Lingjiao looks on. Wei Wuxian doesn’t fight. If by his death or mutilation, he can spare Yunmeng Jiang, then of course that is his duty.

But it’s not enough.

When Yu-furen shoves them into the boat, she snarls at him. “I hate you, you ungrateful boy! You had one purpose in this world, one, and you couldn’t do it – too eager to play omega for that Lan Wangji. You’ll never be his mate! This is the only family you’ll ever have, and you tried to destroy it, you hateful, hateful, unfilial boy.” She sucks in a breath. “This is your last chance. Protect A-Cheng and A-Li. Don’t you dare keep anything for yourself that could go to them. Not even your own life. Now go.”

So then I reworked it to take that part out, and work JFM in.

When Yu-furen shoves them into the boat, she tells him what a failure he is; screams it, with tears in her eyes.

“I hate you, you ungrateful boy! You had one purpose in this world, one, and you couldn’t do it.” She sucks in a breath. “This is your last chance. Protect A-Cheng and A-Li. Don’t you dare keep anything for yourself that could go to them. Not even your own life. Now go.”

Jiang-shushu is kinder. But the message is the same.

“Promise me you’ll always watch over A-Li and A-Cheng, A-Xian.”

And then, they’re both gone.

Okay, we pick back up with the aftermath of the golden core transfer:

It works. It hurts like nothing he’s ever felt before, but that doesn’t matter, because it works. Wen Qing asks him to stay with her until he’s fully healed, but A-Cheng and Jiejie need him. That comes first.

And so, empty, grey, and bleeding, he finds his way to the Yiling Tea House to meet with A-Cheng.

There, he finds an ambush.

Wen Chao laughs as his lackeys land their kicks in Wei Wuxian’s ribs, then turns away as if Wei Wuxian is beneath his notice. “A beta with no family is a dog without a master. Throw it in the Burial Mounds with the rest of the trash.”

*

Then he’s in the Burial Mounds.

In this want, he can knit together the strands of himself that had pulled apart. Revenge, for Lotus Pier and Jiang Sect, for Jiang Cheng’s core and Jiejie’s broken sobs, for Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen’s lives and the disrespect of their bodies after death. And revenge as another word for justice; revenge on the strong, for the weak; on the wicked, for the innocent.

He is revenge. And in that understanding, he walks out of the Burial Mounds. But not out of the dark.

The posted fic has a Burial Mounds flashback, too, but it's more... atmospheric, I guess? And it focuses on WWX being a tool for others to use, not on this theme of WWX trying to reconcile the ultimately irreconcilable values of justice and family.

The same is true of this next bit: there's an analogous bit in the posted fic, but it's the "why won't Lan Zhan just use him and shut up, like everyone else?" bit, focusing on LWJ's refusal to make use of WWX, instead of focusing on the conflict between what Lan Zhan wants from WWX and what WWX's siblings want, like this does:

When he comes back from the Burial Mounds, it’s so hard. Lan Zhan keeps saying, “Come back to Gusu with me,” keeps wanting to help. But WWX has learned his lesson. He cannot abandon JYL and JC to go to Gusu. He has to win this campaign, for them. So they can be safe. So they can return to Lotus Pier.

He can’t rest until that happens.

And all he wants, all he wants, is to rest.

That's all for now! Part II of the alternate version will be posted tomorrow-ish, and then assorted other collections of deleted scenes that are more traditionally deleted-scene-y, if you know what I mean. Feel free to ask if you have questions about any of this, I don't know that I explained everything super well!

ETA: second half of this is now here! Other deleted scenes posts are linked in the masterpost.

[calamitoustide]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

okay im gonna finally do this 😭 this is like picking my children though so give me a second

Dear Reader

This One was the first one I wrote where I was like this is my fic. Obviously they are all my fics but this ones just different. All the other ones were always favorites of my friends and so I gave them to them even if they weren't technically gifted to them but this one was all me. It was everything to me. I honestly would get a tattoo of "Stay Close To The Sun" that's how deep my love for it runs. I actually have the stuck note hanging up on my wall and it's been there since I wrote it. (I had to tape it to make it stick but it's there!) There is nothing I would change about this fic. Nothing. It is perfect. It is everything to me. I am gripping it so hard in my palm no one's taking it from me. (and they have tried lmao)

I Might Like You Less Now That You Know Me So Well

This one gave Dear Reader a run for it's money. These two are so special to me. When I started writing it all it was supposed to be was fluff with like a little angst. It was always sad James but they were supposed to be over it 😭 or at least healed from it but it grew and it's so much different than it used to be. And it's for the better! It's also my first like nonbinary James fic and I love them very much they are so special to me. Even if Everyone who comments on it uses the wrong pronouns for them :) they are so special to me!!! There are little moments where I'm just in this fic. I'm going about my day and suddenly I am in the that van and watching the scene play out. I am at the tattoo parlor watching James grip Regulus hands because they're deathly afraid of needles. I am at the grand canyon and hearing James say they're not scared of heights anymore because they "found something scarier." I am at that beach hearing James whine "I was supposed to be in the water by now. I want to be in the water. I know I promised I'm sorry. I want to be in the water." It is forever engrained within me. Thinking about this fic is like breathing to me.

You Don't Get To Tell Me About Sad

My current little sad James fic, and it also was never supposed to happen. I don't like band aus I've tried them... multiple times but it never worked. I had a marylily one, a pandalily one, I had a jegulus one too but it just never stuck. This one though just worked for some reason... probably because it's hardly a band au honestly. There's some music and the fame plays a big part in it later but it's what I do best sad James and hurt/comfort. I also thought I would never write another sad James before this one because the ideas simply weren't coming. This one was even a struggle to plan fully. This is the first time I've made James' sadness run off into anger, and I thought that was an interesting aspect of it to explore. He's trapped and the only way he feels like he can get any relief is through anger. This is also one of my exes to lovers Jegulus fics and oh I love it. I've written three and this might be my favorite in the way that jegulus are never actually broken up. They are barely holding onto that they've always been together since the first chapter even if they're not saying it. This one is just very special to me and since I'm writing it right now it's not fully formed in my head but I know it's gonna break top three with the other two when it's done.

When You Saw That Dead Little Bird (You Started Crying)

THIS ONE! Okay it's from early 2023 and I remember obsessing over it even if it's only 4k. Out of all my one shots this is the one I always go back to and the one I always try to push on people. I love metaphors anyone who reads anything I write will know that and I was obsessed with the Moon Song dog metaphor. The dog, owner, and bird was everything to me I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I was writing this fic from the perspective of Regulus being the "owner" and James as "the dog" running up to him to give him a dead bird (Lucius dead) as a gift. The owner yells at the dog for giving them something awful/disgusting and the dog just doesn't understand why! So that was the original goal... and then well... I lost track of the goal. I was talking to one of my friends at the time about it, how the bird was supposed to represent innocence. That's why the owner is upset, it's awful to look at because it's pure and sweet. But Lucius isn't innocent Regulus doesn't care about the bird being dead he cares about the blood on the dog's teeth. And so James became the bird as much as he was the dog. And then I started thinking about Regulus killing himself in the war and putting all the blood on his own hands to save James from it and he became the dog and the bird too. They're both everything. They're destroying themselves for love. It's the tale of devotion. The tale of being so devoted to something it turns into your end. You might be able to tell why that was so appealing to me :/

Let The Light In

Alright so the last one was harder to choose but I'm going with Let the Light In because aroace Jegulus have my soul. They are everything to me. I remember seeing another fic with an aroace couple who are usually seen as romantic and I just stared at it for so long. I didn't read it I wasn't really into the ship but I was driving to school just obsessing over the idea with jeg. I remember parking like ten minutes early and instead of walking to my class I just sat in the car and sent a vm all about it not even knowing what I wanted just knowing I wanted Jeg in a QPR. What came out of it is everything to me. Jegulus figuring out their sexualities together and growing comfortable with it. James who wanted nothing more than romance his entire life and was grieving the kind he'll never be able to feel. Regulus who wanted nothing of it but attached himself to James anyway because he couldn't help it, and ended up welcoming love into his life. They are everything, and this fic has so many... not so great memories attached to it now looking back but it's still just as light and beautiful. There's just something about them, and I want desperately to write aroace Jeg again one day. They are calling my name.

[gakriele-lvs-blog]

This Fic is the source of way too many headaches I'm willing to admit.

Originally, it wasn't even meant to be a multichapter story, just an in-the-moment one-shot I wrote in a week and had no intentions of continuing. A few ideas around but nothing croncret. Until a little exchange with a random guy in Discord convinced me to give it a try, even if as a short fic.

My first task was to write the end, no joke, which is a 3-page-long-badly-written scene that surprisingly helped me get a sense of what this story should be about and how to get there.

When I started my priority was to focus on developing a consistent style, a mixture between first-person and Third-person, which slowly became clear was going to be much harder than anticipated, and pairing that with my perfectionism and overall lack of time to write at the time, had a quite difficult time writing each chapter. Can't say I'm proud of the results up to this point while also not that disappointed. I could have done better.

And another issue was the formatting, I wasn't planning in dedicating this much time to each chapter, maybe around 3k each one, but I got carried away and now each is minimum 6 to 8k, which is too much for my liking.

Without mentioning my original intention to separate each Arc into different Fics (some multi-chapters others one-shots) to be part of a Series, but upon comparing myself with other similar fics got insecure and indecisive and now I'm not sure if I should go for that route or not.

Is stupid I know but I can't stop overthinking this.

Anyway, the next chapter for this is... Technically finished, it just needs a lot of polish. So please a little bit more patience would be appreciated. Thank you and sorry for the trouble. If you have anything to ask feel free to do so.

[bookish-bogwitch]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you @artsyunderstudy, @alleycat0306, @cutestkilla, and @ileadacharmedlife for tagging me in this game!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 22, but I think of only 16 of them as "real" fics. The others are podfics, the pornbot meta, random stuff I could've just left on tumblr, etc.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

108,039. If you subtract the words I didn't write (like 97% of Birthday Man and add words the AO3 didn't capture because they're in screen shots (like Impulse Shopping with Simon Snow), it's more like 75k.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Carry On exclusively. I did set out to write a Buddy Daddies fix-it fic right after the series finale but abandoned it because (1) I actually just wanted to read BD fic, not write it, and (2) omg, it is so much harder to write for a TV show where there's not an existing written author voice to imitate.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ready or Not (20,698 words) Kudos: 460

Missing (8,823 words) Kudos: 422 (co-written with @oxi-is-a-moron)

Impulse Shopping with Simon Snow (12 words that AO3 can count, more like 5k in the screenshots) Kudos: 328

Birthday Man (39,132 words, of which about 1k are mine) Kudos: 178

Size You Up (6,850 words) Kudos 133

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love getting comment responses and engaging with writers that way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That has to be What Eats You, but it wasn't angsty for Snowbaz, only for Lamb. 😂 Ooh, and the ending of Missing was sort of angsty--though again, not really for Snowbaz--but I didn't write that part, @oxi-is-a-moron did. (So it's not boasting to say that it's beautiful 🥺.) I have a WIP idea that's still just a summary paragraph. It's extremely angsty with a bittersweet-at-best ending, and I will only ever write it if I decide it hurts more to keep it in my head than to let it out.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Everything's a Story. Because the ending is Baz pandering to ME.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet, but it's been less than a week since I posted the fandom's first bestiality fic, so we'll see.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes--about half my "real" fics are mature or explicit. I find it very very challenging to write, it takes a lot longer than other writing, I think because my discomfort makes me very self-critical. I've come to realize that the sex has to have emotional / narrative significance for me to want to write it--the one time I wrote a sex scene where the whole point of it was sex, I cringed afterward. (Tbf to baby me, it was my first explicit fic and second fic ever and unbetaed, so whatever.) I guess I can deal with writing smut a little better if it's super cracky but even then, I'd want to keep it brief.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, probably wouldn't. I've thought about "what if Snowbaz time traveled and met Kim and Will from the Will Darling Adventures" but it would be pretty boring my only thought is "they're the same, huh?" (For the record I would read the hell out of that crossover.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I love collaborating. For WIPfest I finished @facewithoutheart's WIP, What Eats You?. And @oxi-is-a-moron finished my WIP, Missing. And there was Birthday Man, the Simon's b-day round robin with probably most of you reading this. AND @ic3-que3n and I wrote our bizarre tell-all confessional about the pornbots together. And this spring @ivelovedhimthroughworse and I spent a lovely spring day writing to prompts and thought we'd memorialize it. Honorable mention to @ic3-que3n's art in Behind the Magic. Technically I wrote the words (it was CORBB) but the concept was their idea and we did so much scheming and giggling that it felt like co-writing.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Malmage.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None. I have a long google doc of ideas but don't really think of something as a WIP until it gets is own file and I start writing. I tend to only have 1-2 WIPs going at a time, and right now there's only one, Basil Pitch's Diary. (Of which ~ 200 words are posted but I have 20k+ and plan to start posting after COC.) So, none. If I ever start the aforementioned angst fest there's a good chance I'll bail partway through.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm funny. I'm told I am good at mixing humor and sex and angst. I have come up with some original concepts. I commit to the bit.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

While I might have original concept ideas, I'm weak on worldbuilding. I tend to stick squarely within the canon-verse. I've never written an AU. My only OC was a sentient mop. I've never even written a villain, I don't think. I struggle with making the MCs do things that I wouldn't do myself, for good or bad. (For instance, I've written almost zero love confessions and tend to write around them because I've never love-confessed to anyone I wasn't already dating and even imagining it makes me want to vanish in a puff of smoke.) I am a very slow writer--I'm in awe of people who can bang out thousands of words in a day, or go from idea to execution in hours. If I can manage a steady 200 words a day, not including editing, that's pretty fast. This pace makes it hard to picture writing a really long fic, ever.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never really thought about it. It could be nice for scene-setting; I love all the Norwegian in @scone-lover's Northern Downpour, it really adds to the atmosphere, and the German in @spockzilla's Twelve Days of Christmas cracked me up. The lack of translations made it that much funnier when I finally looked it up myself, or when the meaning was obvious. (Guten Abend, meine kleinen Twinks!) So--maybe someday?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Carry On

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ready or Not. It's the only thing I've written that I've also read for my own entertainment.

Tagging everyone mentioned above, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @skee3000, @thewholelemon, @facewithoutheart, @hushed-chorus, @captain-aralias, and @nightimedreamersworld.