#it's not even a lack of time
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First Lines of Fic Game
Tagged by @etraytin
Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway
Tagging: @running-rabbit, @lulabo, @kyrafic, @formerlyir, @scullyseviltwin, @stillscape, @miabicicletta, @mhalachai, @blithers, and @gallifreyburning
1. le feu dans mon âme (The Musketeers AU): “You’re late,” Athos says, barely looking up from his position leaning against the bullpen gate. “And you’re sober!” Aramis retorts. “Quite a morning we’re all having.”
2. More Than a Hunch (Life With Derek): “Honey,” George calls from the kitchen. “Are we good parents?” Nora finishes closing the front door against the summer heat and wanders to the back of the house. “Well, we’re definitely parents.”
3. lit a fire while i waited for more (Buckynat/Marvel): It’s the kind of kiss where no one cares who made the first move—only that it got made. The problem is that it happens in the midst of a practice bout, when they’re both wearing the base layers of their respective tactical gear, none of which is meant for easy removal.
4. it was summer when i saw your face (Buckynat/Marvel): Natasha comes to, and the toxins must be out of her system because she feels perfectly fine, if cold in her hospital gown. She blinks and shakes her head, then takes account of her surroundings.
5. looked like a teenage runaway (Buckynat/Marvel): “No, I think Barnes is doing a group thing with some of the others,” Clint says. “Much as I’ve enjoyed your strictly platonic couple’s costumes the last few times Tony’s made us all dress up…”
6. those endless nights that we traveled (Buckynat/Marvel): Bucky rests his forehead against the shower tile, letting the hot water wash over sore muscles and trying not to groan with relief.
7. we were shotgun lovers (Buckynat/Marvel): Natasha is hanging upside-down from a thick pipe in an otherwise empty sea of cubicles when a familiar head comes into view.
8. some killer queen you are (Buckynat/Marvel AU): “Still can’t believe that worked,” Bucky commented, locking the front door to the furrier shop for the night and closing the shutters. “The alliance, sure, but also you bein’ open to playin’ so nice.” “You and I both, Mr. Barnes.” Behind him, Natasha is carefully secreting the several bottles of liquor that had earlier sealed the deal—Stark’s jury-rigged Sambuca, moonshine whiskey from Rogers, the Odinson’s aquavit, and her own bathtub vodka—under various floorboards.
9. how to get back there (Buckynat/Marvel AU): Natasha starts running in the breath after she wakes and sees the helicopter she’d fallen from fading into the horizon. She had landed on a flat roof, fortunately, and she bolts toward the fire escape at its edge, zigzagging to dodge the laser fire peppering the space around her. Something fast and hot ghosts along her left hip, but she pushes it out of mind, letting momentum carry her forward.
10. the red and the white and the blue'll come through! (Team Cap/Marvel): Everybody takes turns suiting up and keeping watch—Wanda changes in the van—and they’re off to Leipzig inside of ten minutes. Steve takes the wheel with Sam riding shotgun; Bucky very deliberately sits directly behind Steve, leaving Scott and Wanda to clamber into the backseat while Clint settles nonchalantly alongside Bucky. They ride in tense silence for a few minutes, Steve taking extra care to follow every traffic law while avoiding main thoroughfares with heavier surveillance, before Scott says, “So…you’re really Bucky Barnes? Like, the Kid Commando?”
#fic meme#writing meme#fic is a way of life#god but i haven't written fic in so long#i had a pretty steady clip going from about 2012 through later 2018#but then aside from that one musketeers number that i eked out during the initial covid lockdowns for red's birthday that year#it's been a complete dry spell ever since#it's not even a lack of time#just...inspiration. maybe even interest?#i like to think if i had a sufficiently good and fleshed-out idea that i'd write it down#but i really don't#and all the lovely fuckyeahbuckynatasha prompt-fests that used to get a LOT of fun stuff out of me have dwindled away#which is fine! canon has mostly killed the dream i dreamed!#(which is not fine but i mean i don't have more to write there anyway)
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proud to say that I have never once in my life figured out the whodunit in any crime story I've read or watched. I just let the facts and clues wash over me, absorbing absolutely none of it. I am the audience they think of when they throw in red herrings, in case you've ever wondered "who would fall for this obvious false lead". it's me. I am the idiot viewer/reader. not once has an obviously framed clue revealed anything to me. my head is completely empty when I consume these stories.
#rover rambles#I joke a lot about how stupid hastings is#but in truth I am about as good as solving these cases as he is#possibly even worse somehow#and it's not for lack of wanting to solve them#in fact I have attempted it many times#I simply am stupid
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the mortifying ordeal of being known
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I think with Yor being so perceptive, she picks up on little things often (like we saw in ch 103). i believe this would impact loid more so than the usual person, because he is a spy and fakes every part of himself, so to be seen is simultaneously desirable and horrifying. like, it makes him torn between wanting to accept and reciprocate the love, or distancing himself so that it doesn't happen again.
thats mostly what the last panel is about, that dichotomy between 'omg this person noticed this about me, is this love' and 'oh shit this person noticed this about me, is this Doom'
just some thoughts i had🤪
#unrelated but i kinda dont like how this comic turned out 😭 its like the first time i actually made a full rough draft first#and it somehow made the final product messier#and idk they just dont look like themselves???#it was more difficult to do it this time even though its mostly just them standing idk#maybe the lack of action was what made it difficult because#how many ways can you frame the same scene#for six pages#Anyways#spy x family#my art#loid forger#yor forger#sxf#twiyor#sxf loid#sxf yor
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
#and yet i NEVER DO REMEMBER IT#spilled ink#writeblr#i feel like due to tiktok ppl think >#deeply depressed & not having an emotional reaction to things MUST mean#you are cruel or uncaring#like girlie that is STILL a lack of mental illness awareness. it doesn't make us mean#it just means im like. ohhhh im not well. i don't really react to puppies. that's bad#Im still gonna be super nice to the puppy. like it just doesn't bring me joy.#bc the problem i have is CLINICAL. the dopamine ISNT being made.#but PLENTY of us are still kind#considerate.#GENTLE people. even if we're like '..........' all the time.#i actually think this is why i'm harsh on people who are so mean - you don't need to be emotionally attached to someone/thing#in order to be kind.... you just choose to be kind bc it's the right thing to do#not bc it's easy....... like it's extra effort sure. but it's worth it. bc ppl deserve kindness.#it's hard to describe this bc it's the ugly side of depression. the part that's like#not in netflix - the part where it's like ''i love this person. i just don't feel anything''
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when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me
#in terms of alternate gameplay and lack of reliance on plot#i feel like melody of memory is the closest thing kh has actually had to a spinoff#but even that is important in its own way in the end#union cross to a certain degree as well what with being an online multiplayer gacha type game#its original concept i would definitely classify as a spinoff game#bc it was set in a totally different world and time period and was supposed to be about customization and fun with friends#and nomura or someone said it wasn’t meant to be connected to the plot#but then like. he did very much go and give it a plot. like he went back on that almost immediately#and even then. given that the game is still very much combat and exploration#even from the beginning can it really be called a spinoff? it’s just kh in a different format#i’m talking like a game in which the objective is something totally different.#racing game or cooking game or fighting game or (another) rhythm game#ace attorney style detective game. dancing game. dude i don’t know#there are so many different flavors they could go with here#alas nomura is allergic to genuine whimsy which is hilarious given that this is a disney series#like he apparently was like ‘ohhh should we really let sora in smash? would it make sense in the story?’#my brother in christ surely we’re not supposed to interpret this as canon to kh right? right????#i guess it’s just that the kh franchise has a very specific pristine vibe he wants to maintain#which is disney shenanigans as a seasoning on top of a main dish of Stone Cold Serious Anime Plot#kingdom hearts#kh#mine: kh
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The art of the sleeping sapphic
#this is my all time favorite trope#the intimacy of it all#not even about the clothes or lack thereof#it's just getting to see these couples finally rest and find comfort in each other#and ultimately that sleep is the most solitary of acts but the romance and trust of doing it together#also because I was watching affair and thinking about how sleep is such an important part of their trauma and ultimately healing#maybe I do another deep dive into that#but anyways it brought me back to juliantina#because I wanted to frame that first image#and that image from Gap was one that I loved#also this is absolutely the pipeline that I think a lot of us went down#amar a muerte#juliantina#barbarena#gap the series#monsam#freenbecky#affair the series#wanpleng#lmsy#thai gl#gl series
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christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.
like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid
#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing#I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked#i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like#most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents.#and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up#if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention.#kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement#even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe#your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention#they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID#if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional#not something that must be earned#telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand#if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera#your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust!#bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH
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can anyone explain to me at what point rose tyler was "unbelievably stupid". was it when she was inventing transdimensional travel
#what about her makes you think she's stupid. answer quickly#the whole POINT of the rtd companions - yes all of them - is that any ordinary person can shine when given the chance to#and when someone believes in them.#even besides that there is no point before during or after rose's time on the show when she is shown to be stupid.#she doesn't have like. the doctor's vast universal knowledge sure#but the point is that she's smarter than him in other ways! they balance each other out which is why they're such a good team#like the london eye scene in the very first episode for example.#that is aaaaall about how the doctor misses very simple things and needs someone with him who doesn't#all the best companions have a moment like this. thinking about when bill realizes the mother-son thing in knock knock#anyway. i'm ranting sorry. this post just really pissed me off#imagine missing the point so completely#and being so classist that you can't comprehend that dropping out of school is not a symbol of lack of intelligence#rose tyler#doctor who#delia.txt
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I tried to draw sheep Machete and goat Vasco (but I am not good at drawing goats, at all)
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#Macsheep and Goatsco#what do you mean I LOVE goat Vasco#the ears! the hejazi goat ears!#and his expression is just *chef's kiss* perfect#really captures that ungovernable goatlike glee#I like how he retained his smooth coat and sleek and curved shapes#and Machete looks very appropriate as a sheep as well#he would have even more reason to trim his neck wool as a sheep#come to think of it would he have to keep himself sheared at all times if he wanted his clothes to fit correctly?#and just keep the head fluff#I noticed that you paid attention to their snout shapes! sheep have kind of rabbitlike nose whereas goats have a smoother upper lip#with less prominent philtrum#I thought that was such a cool detail#something I often forget myself when I'm drawing these species#thank you!#gift art#arttsuka#Machete#Vasco#it's weird how much harder their expressions are to read solely because of the horizontal pupils#they're mammalian but lack that anthropomorphic familiarity I guess
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DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS (2009) — developed by bioware.
#gamingnetwork#vgedit#videogameedit#gamingedit#dailygaming#gameplaydaily#daoedit#mydao#myda#daedit#dragon age#dragon age: origins#dragon age origins#zevran arainai#zevran x warden#zevwarden#ppl have talked a lot abt this scene#and how zevrans not able to say he loves the warden here even tho he obviously does#and how thats a show of his past and his hurt but not a lack of devotion#he has a hard time saying the words because hes used them and mostly heard them in the context of a lie#and he could never lie to his warden#but also like. it means so much for him to be able to say 'i know you love me. i believe you. i believe you love me'#because he hates himself in a real way! hes still recovering from being actively suicidal!!#zevran does not view himself as someone who is Lovable in the way the warden loves him#but he believes them anyway#whats the line....i trust you means more from me than i love you#ANYWAY ZEVRAN [chews through the drywall] !!!!!!!
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tchk.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg 3 fanart#lae'zel#shadowheart#stuff and things#userpharawee#I'm so sorry for the lack of art lately#I've been having a Time and it's straight up not a good one lol#so this is from my wip folder from weeks ago because I don't have anything even remotely finished to share hhh#there was also an issue with my drawing tablet the other day and I'm really hoping I won't have to get a new one#🙏
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One Direction brought me to this hellsite and as much as sometimes I truly do not like it here, this place is still what I’d consider a safe space for me because it’s filled with people who just get it, when it comes to the boys and tonight I’ve seen people back on my dash I haven’t seen in months because when news like this hits this is still the main place we come to for comfort and to feel free to let out our emotions without having to explain ourselves because we all just get it.
#like 1D tumblr back in its prime was a wild ass ride but also so fun and i miss it at time but also i don’t miss the drama#but it’s nice to see that even tho some of us left we all somehow come back when we need to just let it out because we get each other#it’s a sense of family for lack of a better word but truly the ones that have been here for years know what i mean#one direction#liam payne#zayn malik#louis tomlinson#my little lanky baby#my little irish marshmallow#harry styles#niall horan
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anyone else ever feel like they can never say what they mean when they talk to other people. like i'm just making noises with my mouth that vaguely resemble what i'm actually trying to communicate.
#🐉#this is why i prefer written conversations. i have more time to think and choose my words and i can go back and edit them#if i figure out a better way to express myself at a later point.#like its not even that i lack the vocabulary to express myself i just lack the ability to translate my thoughts to speech
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#sars cov 2#covid 19#i've interacted with 4 different friends/acquaintances in the past month alone who have all been hospitalised after having a stroke#(and in one case multiple strokes)#one who i visited in hospital over the weekend had a (unmasked) nurse coughing up a lung in her room 👍#and one of them who had to undergo surgery also had to be moved to a different hospital#bc the ward they were keeping him in was full of confirmed covid patients 👍👍#idk how many times it needs to be said before it gets through people's heads but VACCINES ARE NOT ENOUGH#and encouraging ppl to rely solely on them when there are already plans to jack up the prices so you have to KEEP PAYING for boosters#for an ONGOING mass-disabling event is so laughably unrealistic and absurd and flat-out demonic#you need to mitigate the actual spread of covid by WEARING A MASK + fighting for CLEAN AIR/proper ventilation in public spaces!!!!!!#ppl are so eager to forget the whole 'break the chain of transmission' thing and how effective masking is and so this is where we're at#'i got infected and infected other ppl who might die or become permanently disabled but it's no big deal bc no one else wears a mask#so if /i/ didn't infect them someone else would have anyway so it's not my fault and really its got nothing to do with me and my choices'#if everyone is responsible then no one is responsible - that's how it works right?#it's no wonder some ppl go rabid at even the sight of someone wearing a mask and minding their own business#ppl seeking treatment for unrelated conditions/illnesses and then dying from covid caught in hospitals#due to lack of npis/basic mitigation measures - no regulations no accountability#we truly live in a hell (''new normal'') of our own making#anyway none of this is new news at all i mostly thought it might be good to share the info graphic abt signs of stroke#covid has been given free reign and chances are increasing as to how likely you'll encounter it happening to someone you know at some point#also heart attacks and pots and alzheimer's etc etc etc
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im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website
#kai.txt#negativity tw#(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them)#we make gifs and nobody reblogs them#when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds#'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op'#reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something#that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place#we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does#to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting#and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces#go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets#that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases#or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place#but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces#they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either#they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters#im just so fucking tired of the disrespect#and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site#we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.
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