#it's not bad! just not finished and it drives me bananas

[dorminchu]

concept—hypothetical mr. robot season 5. 2d animation, akin to paranoia agent. or magnetic rose.

— includes flashbacks the fall of e-corp in the 1990s to flesh out mr. alderson a little, like what was he working on before he got fired? how does whiterose know or care? seriously I want to know!

— a few glimpses to the "real" elliot's childhood growing up (a la the opening flashback from 2x04 or 2x01), maybe from darlene or angela's pov, complete w/retrospective voiceover

— all the actors reprise their roles in a style where they would record prior to animating (to keep in spirit with the original format) kinda like how the original dub of beastars worked

well, as long as I'm dreaming -u-

I'll think of more stuff as I rewatch s3-4 for the third time

[sheliesshattered]

the trouble with trying to rewrite this particular episode is that the episode, as aired, is just so bad that it's physically painful to rewatch

[captain039]

Daddy’s Little Girl

Logan x reader

Warnings: Age gap (early twenties reader) , swearing, first times, virgin reader, plus size reader, tension, oral f receiving, smut, daddy kink, dom!logan, Abuse, verbal and mental (Not from Logan), anxiety, depression, mention of self harm scars, reader has muscle issues and body pain

Kinda hitting home with personal:specific details for reader, but alas I need this man, I need this man bad 😂

Wolverine in the mountains as a Lumberjack is a wet dream

Set when Logan was in the mountains but modern day times

You awake to a loud knock and a grumbled hurry up making you sigh. You check your phone finding no overly important messages. You’re expecting a call from your sister this week sometime though. You miss her, she was Lucky enough to get out of this hell hole while she could. You dress quickly knowing your father will get pissed if he doesn’t see you in the truck in five minutes. You get your jeans on and a shirt before grabbing your boots and phone. You go down the stairs slowly, ignoring the way your hips protests. You grab a banana and shove your boots on before heading to the truck. Your dad waits, smoking in the drivers seat making you sigh silently inside as you jump into the passenger seat. Everyday he drags you out to the lumber mill, everyday he doesn’t give a damn if you need to see a doctor or therapist. Doesn’t care that he’s seen scars on your arms or that you cry most nights. You pretty much run this lumber mill even if your dads the boss, you keep track of the finances, locations, next sights, shipments whatever needs done that he can’t be bothered to do, all he does is swing an axe and let his anger out. Only good thing is Logan. Logan the man you crush on since he first started couple years ago. His perfect hair and smile, those jeans and leather jacket, the way he carry’s himself. His kindness towards you, the stupid hair ruffle he gives even though he knows you hate it, the making sure you’ve eaten during the day or asking if you need help. He’s too perfect, a goddamn dream and you’re a nightmare.

You head into the small trailer office and sit down rubbing the sleep from your eyes as your father greets his team. He smiles shakes hands and laughs making you loath him. You want to punch him, show them how pissed he gets and how fucking useless he is. You sag against the chair waiting for Logan to show up in his two seater low truck with that handsome face. You hate yourself, lusting after man twice your age, probably married or has plenty suitors. Ones that aren’t broken like you. You clench your jaw and unlock the computer cursing the slow wifi as you go through emails. It’s the same old and you’re bored of it, hell you don’t even get paid to be here your father says his house and his food are payment enough, not like you’re his kid or anything. You watch your dad and his team leave silently thanking god. Though a little upset you missed Logan. A knock comes at the door and you frown a bit.

“Come in” you call watching the door open. Logan steps in a smile on his face as he closes the door.

“Morning Bub” he says and you smile.

“Morning” you reply as he sighs and sits down on the small couch.

“Why aren’t you with the team?” You ask with a frown.

“We need supplies, your father told me to head into town” he said and you sigh, of course he did, too lazy to go himself.

“Wanna come?” Logan asks and you falter.

“Oh, yeah sure hang on” you quickly finish writing the email before logging off and shutting the computer down. You follow him out the trailer and to his car he smiles playfully as he holds open the door for you which you just laugh at and ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

You try not to glance at him every five seconds as he drives. How someone can be attractive while driving you’ll never know. It’s about an hours drive into town, the silence comfortable. You look out the window letting the wind blow in your face. Your phone buzzes and you frown taking it out seeing a message from your father.

We need more courier trucks this time, don’t forget

You huff softly, how could you forget he’s yelled it to you for the last couple of days.

“Everything alright?” Logan asks jolting you from your mind and you force a smile and nod.

“Just dad” you shrug switching off your phone and putting it back in your pocket. You finally arrive at the store following Logan inside.

“What we need?” You ask as Logan pulls a list from his pocket.

“Rope, saw blade replacers, chain, sharpener stones, beer” Logan smiles at the last part and you try to smile back. Beer always equals your father coming home shit faced and blaming it on you like you’re the one who got him drunk. You grab a trolly each and head down each aisle to get what you need before heading to the register. You scan the items watching the numbers go up and know you’ll probably get blamed for the prices too. Once you’re done Logan grabs his wallet and pulls out the company card before tapping and paying. You enjoy his closeness smell the cologne he’s got on this close too. You wait for the receipt before heading back to the Ute. You make one more stop to the liquor store before heading home.

You’re not even half way home when your phone rings. With your dad’s name flashing, you wince a little and answer.

“Hello” you say.

“Why aren’t you answering the phone at the trailer?” He says annoyed.

“I went with Logan to get the supplies you needed” you answer.

“Jesus Christ I give you one goddamn job and you can’t even do that right! You know not to leave that goddamn trailer during work hours!” His voice is scolding and pissed and you tense and try to ignore your stomach churning.

“We’re heading back now” you muttered not getting an answer back instead your father hangs up and you feel like crying.

“You alright?” Logan asks and you force a smile and nod at him.

Back at the trailer you notice your hips beginning to ache helping carrying things from the ute back to the trailer. You wince and silently curse knowing it’ll probably either be a flare up and another reason for your dad to yell or hopefully just some daily pain that Panadol can fix. It’s always the fucking first one. You sit down behind your desk and ring back anybody who tried to contact the office while Logan works outside. You glance to him every so often seeing him push his sleeves up, wipe sweat off his brow, a whole damn strip tease. You wish you had confidence or were thinner and older maybe then he’d give you a glance. You sag into the chair wincing when your hips decided to twinge in pain.

It’s just after five when the team return, you’ve hopefully done everything today and you’re feeling it. Logan hasn’t left either only to stop on break for lunch or smoke the cigars he has. You tried to tell him they’re bad for him but he just smiled and continued. Your dad looks annoyed and you can feel the home ride scolding already.

“All done?” Logan says suddenly making you jump not realising he was in the trailer. You jolt the wrong way and let out a pain of noise that has the man instantly concerned and walking over.

“Fine, I’m fine sorry I didn’t mean to make that noise” you brush off cursing when you can’t even stand up properly.

“You don’t look fine Bub” he says quietly.

“Ready?” Your dad interrupts and you nod forcing yourself up right. You walk a little funny out the trailer and down the steps.

“Bye Logan” your dad says.

“See ya boss” he says before saying a goodbye to you with a small worried frown. You smile and wave getting into your dad’s truck awkwardly.

“What the hell did I say with leaving without my permission? I had two damn phone calls while I was out!” Your dad scolds hitting the steering wheel in annoyance making you jump. You keep your head down and on your lap making sure not to move.

“Well?!” He snaps.

“Sorry, I figured Logan would need some help with supplies” you say and your father scoffs.

“Logan needs help my ass, you’re just trying to slut yourself out to the man!” He growls and the words sting. You’ve never had a boyfriend, never spoken to another man in that way.

“Like you did with Jason” he adds. Jason was the newest addition to the team a little older than you.

“Sorry father” you mutter.

“God sakes” he grumbles. He doesn’t say anything else and when you get home you know he’ll scold you for dinner before ordering pizza and beer. You head upstairs silently feeling tears prick your eyes before you force them down.

“Can I have a shower dad?” You call.

“Five minutes! Anymore I’m breaking the goddamn water line” he yells and you wince and hurry. You set a timer knowing he won’t be joking. You wash as quickly as you can before stepping out and drying yourself. You sigh not even feeling clean or refreshed. You barely have time to shave when you shower, barely have time to wash your hair too. You dress hearing your dad talking to the pizza man no doubt before he slams the door. You say into your bed, only reason you have your furniture and room nice is because your mother was still alive at one point. You hear your phone vibrate and see Logan’s name on the screen. You had all the team’s numbers in your phone for emergencies or anything company related. Your father shamed you for that too saying you’d send each man nudes or sex texts.

Hey kid, you alright?

Fine, thank you, nothing to worry about

you type back quickly and get dressed into some pyjamas. You’re tired but no sleep won’t come well and you’ll have to eat when your dad’s either passed out or asleep. You wait a while scrolling on your phone. When your mum was alive she got you a bank account open, you had to secretly apply for a government payment grant so you could at least get a phone and credit. If your dad ever found out about the money though he’d probably close the account or take what you had. Your phone buzzes continuously and you frown seeing Logan’s name. You answer a little confused he never calls unless it’s for work.

“Hey? Did you need something?” You ask voice hushed even though the TVs turned up loudly.

“Just checking on you, you sure you’re alright kid?” You a sigh a little, that stupid nickname.

“I’m fine thank you Logan” you say a little curtly without meaning too.

“Did you need something, did I miss something at work?” You add after some silence.

“No, works fine” he sighs a little and you frown. You hear footsteps and begin to panic.

“Sorry Logan I have to go” you hear him about to speak but quickly hang up as your father’s footsteps walk past and into his room and you sigh in relief.

You lay there awake till it’s about 8, hearing loud snores before you creep down stairs to get a sandwich and water before going back up. You sigh eating on the small couch in your room glancing to your phone seeing another text from Logan.

Night kid, sleep well

Your heart jumps a little.

Next part ->

[ohimsummer]

✎ . . .❝PLAY FAIR!❞

-saitama x reader, gamer! reader? they're both playin MK, fluff, established relationship, idk if that blue shell strat is common but it happened to me before lmao

“You kinda suck at this game.”

This was always your foolproof plan to throw Saitama off. Even if he was doing somewhat decent, poking fun at his gaming skills never failed to give you an advantage over him.

“I’m in sixth place.,” he mutters behind you, where you’re both sitting back to back.

“And you can’t do any better?,” you giggle in his ear, not missing the way he glances at you from the corner of his eye. He knows you're fucking with him.

“Pfft.,” Saitama scoffs. “Who’s stuck in 3rd place again?”

“Hey, it's still top 3!,” you gasp. He chuckles at your meager slap to his shoulder.

“Not for long.” And you decide those will be his famous last words when you eventually make it to first place.

The game goes on with Saitama eventually catching up to you in third. You’re a little bit better than him at this game, but he’s able to keep up with you all the way until the last lap, where you and him are at first and second respectively.

“I’m gonna take that number 1 spot from you, Y/N.,” Saitama gives a sing-songy tease, heavily concentrated on dodging any banana peels or shells you try and throw at him.

What he doesn’t notice is the CPU down below, close to 8th place and just having rolled a dangerous item. You mash the reverse button on the gaming console, screeching to a halt as Saitama zooms past you.

“Oh come on, I don’t need you to let me win or something!,” he huffs, and Saitama's race car stops with a puff of smoke behind it. “Play fair!”

You giggle at the tell-tale sound of an incoming blue missile. “Oh, I am, Sai.”

“No, you’re n-“

You watch the blue turtle shell home in on his character, a small ‘oh’ leaving Saitama’s lips as a blue shockwave absorbs him. Mashing ‘A’, you drive past, his character still stunned, and you, in order, hear the frantic sounds of him mashing buttons, the crack of a poor gaming console, and Saitama’s growl of ‘dammit!’ afterwards as he no doubt stares at a frozen display.

Confetti flies across the screen, triumphant music blaring from your game’s speakers to announce your victory, followed by a line of CPUs since Sai is no longer playing. You watch his character fall lower and lower until the race finishes with him in 8th place — dead last.

“This sucks…,” he sighs and sets the console down carefully beside him.

Your giggles sound like mockery to him, but Saitama very easily accepts your kisses on the cheek.

“Don't worry, you still get a consolation for being a loser, Sai.,” you tease in his ear, kissing his cheek and hugging both arms around his shoulders.

“Yeah, whatever.,” he smiles at you. If this was his reward for making 8th place, maybe losing wasn’t so bad after all.

tagz: @anthoosies @rxddxvotion

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

A Cat in the Kitchen

Part 1 (ft. Riddle and Silver) I Part 2 (ft. Trey and Kalim) I Part 3 (ft. Jade and Lilia) I Part 4 (ft. Deuce and Jamil) I Part 5 (ft. Malleus and Ruggie) | Part 6 (ft. Cater and Rook) | Part 7 (ft. Sebek and Floyd) | Part 8 (ft. Ace and Idia) | Part 9 (ft. Leona and Epel) | Part 10 (ft. Jack and Vil)

In which Gordon Ramsay-kun is isekai’d into Twisted Wonderland. Part Food Wars, part Hell’s Kitchen, all Master Chef—Night Raven College isn’t ready to take on this Michelin Star celebrity!!

Ready for a short supplementary cooking class?🌟 A day in the life of Prefect Gordon and his familiar Grim, told in three parts: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. After all, food is tastier when it's shared with friends and family~

Imagine this…

Gordon Ramsay stirred before the rats and the ghosts of Ramshackle dorm did. He was up by 5 am most days, first exercising and then rustling around in the kitchen fighting the gas stove to light (and stay that way!) and taking inventory of the dwindling ingredients in the pantry. At 7 am, the delicious smells would start up, rousing his housemates from their slumber.

This was the magic of a human incapable of spellcasting or sorcery.

"Mm... You're up super early again," Grim muttered from the doorway as he rubbed at his eyes. He yawned, still struggling to shake off the last remnants of sleep that clung to him. "I dunno how you do it."

"Not so hard once you've got the hang of it," he grunted in response. Gordon wiped his hands off on a dish towel before sliding a plate toward Grim. "Eat up now, we don't have much time before classes start."

"I dunno, I'm not too hungry."

"You? Not hungry?" Gordon's brows raised. "That's new. You feeling under the weather?"

Grim leapt, looking as though he had been caught with his entire body stuffed into a cookie jar. "N-No, I'm not! Yup, there's my hunger comin' back to me!"

He hurriedly yoinked a tuna sandwich and chowed down.

"See?! Ah'm jus' fine," Grim insisted, cheeks stuffed.

"Hmm, alright." Gordon tucked into a small bowl of oatmeal--prepared with baked bananas, almond milk, and dried cranberries.

"You got class today too or what?"

"Yup. Ashengrotto and the smaller Shroud this time."

“Think they’ll drive ya mad like the rest of them did?”

“I’ll hold my tongue until I’ve seen how they are in the kitchen for myself.”

“Keh, you’re no fun.”

The beast’s ears flattened. The blue fire that burned so brightly seemed to dim. Something weighed on his mind—of that, Gordon was certain.

“That means you'll abandon me before lunchtime again..." Between chews, Grim complained, "How come I gotta be just a student and you get to be a teacher too? The great Grim-sama oughta be showin' these newbies a thing or two!"

"I only teach what I know. I'm still a student in some ways, learning new things about food every day." Gordon shrugged, giving his friend a rough ruffle on the head. "You can be a teacher when you've mastered everything there is to master--neither of us is quite there yet."

"Why can't it be? I wanna fast forward to the part where I become an archmage already!!"

"Don't be impatient about making progress. I’ve made hundreds of dumplings in a day and still came nowhere near the level of perfection of a dim sum master.“

“Tsk, that sucks. Didja at least get to eat the bad dumplings?”

“It was all I had that day. They weren’t fit to serve to customers.” Gordon shook his head. “My point is, you’ll get there one day. Nose to the grindstone, Grim. You've got to work hard to earn it."

He spooned up the remainder of his oatmeal, then deposited his dirty bowl and spoon in the sink. Gordon plucked up Grim, who still had a mouth full of tuna, and tucked him under one arm.

“M-Myah?!“

“Right then, let’s head out. Brisk morning jog to wake up the senses—it’s a brand new day!”

“Lemme finish my breakfast first, sheesh!!”

Three classes before lunch, and they all went about as well as Gordon had expected them to. (That was to say, not well at all.)

During first period Alchemy, Grim had earned the ire of Crewel by disregarding the potion recipe. In spite of Gordon's reminders and warnings, Grim had taken one too many missteps. The wrong ingredient, the incorrect amount, the temperature too low or too high, the stirring too much or not enough.

He was then caught catnapping during Magic History and extensively told off by both Trein and Lucius. (The meowing had gotten very intense.) Gordon had apologized profusely in Grim's place.

Flying had not fared any better--Grim struggled to concentrate, his unsteady magic causing his broom to wildly buck, attempting to chuck him off. Gordon had to stop his rep of 100 push-ups to fetch his friend out from a shrub. Twigs poked at him, leaves caught in his fur.

By the time they were dismissed back to the locker rooms, Grim had melted into a furry puddle on Gordon's shoulder. "Maaan, I'm beat!! That was rough!"

"Rougher than usual." Gordon crunched on an apple. He had taken to the habit of eating small platters or snacks throughout the day over whole meals—it was more efficient for his lifestyle. “Something you want to tell me, or…?”

“N-Nothing’s up!” Grim snapped. "Quit worryin' about me. It's the boss's job to do that for their minion."

The chef rolled his eyes as he set Grim down on the floor beside him. He handed off a boxed lunch wrapped in a checkered cloth. "I'm off to teach. You'll be fine on your own, right? Find Trappola and Spade, settle down with your food, and don't cause trouble."

"I got it already!" Grim huffed. "Catch ya after...?"

"Always." His smile was strained, a bit tired but true. "Maybe I'll bring back some disastrous stories to share with you over dinner."

One last pat on the head, and then he was gone. Hustling down the hall, the white of his pristine chef’s jacket vanishing behind a corner.

Grim managed the rest of the hike to the cafeteria, balancing his lunch in his paws. He squeezed past the legs of various mob students, emerging safely on the other side. They rushed to line up for trays of food.

Suckers, Grim thought, paying in cash for food. Luckily for me, I’ve got something way better than whatever they’re serving.

“Oiiii, Grim! Over here!!” someone called to him. He looked—and there they were, the duo of troublemakers, marked by a heart and a spade upon their faces.

“Ace! Deuce!”

He scampered over to the two Heartslabyul freshmen. They had already secured their lunches, as well as an open seat for him.

“Hard night? Looks like you didn't get much sleep," Deuce commented. A fluffy omelet wobbled atop a mountain of ketchup fried rice on his plate.

“He's right, you really do look awful," Ace added cheerily--blunt as ever. He had opted for a slice of some savory pie, vegetables and meat oozing out from a buttery crust.

"Sh-Shuddap! The great Grim-sama was up all night cookin' up something big!" He slammed a paw down on the table. "Just look at your sorry lunches. They can't compare to what I have!"

"Did Prefect make your meal again? You should try to not trouble him too much.”

"’S not like I tell’m to! He does it on his own!” Grim snickered to himself. "He takes all these cheap ingredients and throws'm together to make these tasty dishes."

"Well, don't keep us waiting in suspense," Ace groaned. "Show us what you have already."

“Let’s see, let’s see!”

Grim undid the fabric knot that held his lunch in a swathe. The checkered pattern peeled back and the lid, once removed, yielded a creamy, cheesy bed of tuna bake.

Gordon had taken his beloved canned tuna and fried it down into flakes. It was then combined with a special mixture of seasonings, pasta shells, melted cheeses, onions and broccoli, and topped with bread crumbs. After a generous bake in their ancient oven, the dish had come out golden brown and bubbling.

“Whoooa, smells delish!!” all three of them drooled.

“Lucky bastard,” Ace muttered. He quickly put on a cheeky grin, his spoon prepared. “Ne, ne~ Lemme try some, Grim!“

“D-Don’t be cheeky, Ace! You can’t demand to mooch off of someone else’s lunch,” Deuce scolded his peer. “… Even if it does look really good.”

“Paws off!!” Grim shielded the box with his body. “My minion made this for me and me only!”

“Tch.” Ace’s expression dropped. “You get to eat like a king for free while the rest of us have to shell out and make do with whatever’s on the school’s menu.”

“It’s not that bad,” Deuce pointed out. “It’d be nice to be able to eat for free but I’m happy with the quality of food we get for the price.”

“This comin’ from the guy who was running low on pocket money for a snack the other day?” he smirked.

“H-Hey, I need to budget, okay?!”

While the duo bickered, Grim had started to shove his face into the box (silverware was too difficult to maneuver) and wolf down his meal. Cheese sauce painted his fur, bits of broccoli and tuna dotting his jaw.

It was heaven—or as close to heaven as he could get on the earth.

He licked his lips appreciatively, mopping up what was left on his face. Not even a little could go to waste. Grim was determined.

As he went back in for another mouthful, he felt a phantom hand cascade across his head, his back. Advice from that morning filled his mind.

“You’ll get there one day. Nose to the grindstone, Grim. You've got to work hard to earn it."

He shut his eyes, making a silent vow.

I’ll definitely… definitely pay ya back for all the hard work you’ve been puttin’ in too, partner.

Gordon bid farewell to the ghost chefs on his way out of the kitchen. The day’s leftovers and unused ingredients overflowed from his arms—a perk of the teaching gig, which helped to feed him and his feline roommate. He mentally parsed through what was available, dreaming up new dishes for the days to come.

There was a nice chunk of fresh tuna (Grim would love it) in his brown paper bag. Perhaps he’d sear it with a sesame crust, then drizzle the seafood in a yuzu-lime dressing to brighten it. He’s plate it with a microgreens salad. Chives, arugula, celery, radish, and ruby sorrel to encourage Grim to eat a variety of vegetables.

He made his way out of the school building and down the long, winding path to Ramshackle dorm. The sun was still out, warming the worn Prefect.

On the front porch, he rustled around in his pants for the keys. When he finally fished it out and inserted the teeth into the lock, Gordon swore he heard a series of suppressed giggles from beyond the door.

Odd.

The door swung open, and he was immediately accosted.

"Welcome baaack," the Ramshackle Ghosts chirped. One ushered him in from behind, another too his groceries off of his hands, and a third tugged him along by the arm.

"Come this way! Grimmy's got a treat for ya!"

"He's been working hard on it the second he got back from his last class."

"Oooh, you're gonna LOVE it!"

"What about dinner?" Gordon protested, watching his beloved ingredients sail off.

He was thrusted into their dingy kitchen--which doubled as the dining room, thanks to the table and chairs set up in one cobwebbed corner. The same old Ramshackle he woke up to every day. Rusty knobs and hinges, chipped cupboards, electricity and running water that blinked in and out.

But there, set on a table with uneven legs and splintered wood, was something extraordinary.

It was a stout cake, iced in light blue with a layer of dripping white and several lit candles stuck into the top. Black frosting formed the vague shape of a fish, TUNA piped over it in white. A single lollipop--pale blue, and in the shape of a paw--casually rested against the cake, as if it had been tossed on top for an extra flair.

A furry mass tackled and hugged Gordon's leg.

"Grim?!"

He was suited up in his own little chef's uniform. It was deep gray, verging on black, his apron tied with a striped-purple ribbon. A tiny toque--a chef's hat-- sat between his ears, a bandage over the bridge of his nose. A smear of white icing decorated his left cheek, and he carried with him a telltale piping bag squeezed thin.

Gordon blinked. "You did this?"

"Nyahahah! Were you surprised?"

"You told me you couldn't cook to save your life."

"He can't," a ghost piped up as he deposited the groceries onto a counter. "He's worse than I was when I was alive!"

"That's why Grimmy's been getting up in the dead of night lately. Been, what? Gotta be a few weeks now."

"He's been practicing his baking and then cleaning up the traces of his crime before you get up."

"What..."

"I wanted to pay ya back, yanno! For all the cookin' and cleanin' and whatever," Grim mumbled shyly, kicking at the ground. "So I figured I'd treat ya for once! I was thinking of a sticky toffee pudding at first since that's your favorite, but... it gets so sticky, it was hard to work with!"

He patted his stomach. "I couldn't put my stuff in the trash can or else you'd notice, so I had to eat up all my mistakes too! It was a lotta effort and way harder than it looked, so you'd better be grateful!!”

Grim looked away, rubbing at his bandage.

“… It helped me better understand and appreciate all the things you do on the daily.”

It clicked.

Everything suddenly made sense. Grim's tiredness, lack of focus, decreased appetite, defensiveness—it was all for this very moment.

"... I see." Gordon bent down, a smile taking shape on his mouth. A steady kindling in his chest. “This is your way of saying ‘thank you’.”

“M-Maybe! An archmage has gotta take good care of his minion,” Grim muttered.

The prefect laughed softly. “And you’re doing a great job at it. Hang tight, I'll get the stove going and whip us up some seared tuna to go with the cake."

“Myah?! Y-You’ve got tuna? Like, the real stuff?!” Grim’s eyes were wide and sparkling. A line of drool ran down his chin. "Fancy tuna...!!"

"Yeah. We can plate some for the ghosts too--so they can join us for a meal in spirit." Gordon nodded at their other roommates. Their pale faces brightened with excitement.

"Can we really?"

"It's been so long since I was last invited to a celebration like this!!"

"Oh, but we can't eat... Ghosts don't have digestive systems. The tune would pass right through us."

"... Grim, you have eat their shares. More importantly, it's being together for the occasion that matters, right?"

"Whoo-hoo!! You're the best minion an archmage could ask for!!" Grim cheered, leaping into the air, furry fist pumping.

“Let's get this dinner party started…!”

[hoseoksluna]

HEAVEN-SENT | knj

pairing: idol!friend!namjoon x f. reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2.8k

summary: when a certain bad experience with a guy makes you run to namjoon, he heals you and changes you once and for all.

warnings: lack of willful consent in a way, crying, religion, smoking (namjoon smokes a cig, reader vapes), the context of this fic is of sexual relations though none are described, heavy daddy issues.

note: after i sat down to write last chapter of berries, i discovered that i simply couldn't because of what happened to me this week. there was nothing left for me to do, but to run to namjoon in my head and let him heal me. yes, unfortunately, the events that i wrote about in this fic happened to me. the dream, i had it last night. and the consolation in the form of words in the fic, i constructed it from everything my friends told me. to be honest, i feel deeply healed. i finished it in two hours or so and i feel so much better. now, like the reader i put myself into, i'm gonna take a shower and wash everything away. i'll be able to write berries after that. i love you, guys. sorry, if this is triggering in any way. i just needed to get it out.

“I think I heard… God in that dream.” 

Your words create a wisp of tenderness in the air. Saddened, moist with the tears that sting in the back of your eyes. The sun of the summer has descended, hid beneath the city—and you feel as though the same occurred in your life, despite the fact you’re being held by someone who holds the skyscrapers and the manufactured greenery in between like a burden on his shoulders and could easily stop its departure if only he looked up to the heavens with puppy eyes. 

God would’ve nodded. Flicked his fingers. The source of light and warmth would’ve paused, stared down on you, shone a little more mercifully. Beckon you out to breath in the fresh air, breathe in the protectiveness you find yourself to be in the middle of. 

God protected you from a boy who had different intentions from you, led you into the arms of a man who’s able to take your pain and transform it into an eternal artwork of beauty and importance. A harmonious poetry, mixed with English and Korean, flooded with colors akin to the ones your eyes would stumble across on a field of wildflowers. 

It’s where you are right now. No blanket, just the soil, the blossoms, the warmth from Namjoon’s body, your bruised knees and rawly abraded elbows—your injury from earlier that the boy feignedly kissed, but didn’t care much about. A means to get you into bed, nothing else. A banana vape in your fist while Namjoon holds his cigarette backwards, shielding the smoke with his palm, even though you’ve told him multiple times that you didn’t mind it. 

You smoked so much of them with him within the hours you spent here and didn’t receive any sort of alleviation from it that you grew a certain distaste for it in your mouth. Settled for the sweetness of your vape. Enjoyed it as much as you enjoyed Namjoon’s closeness and a sense of safety that he radiated as he let you rest your head on his clavicle, leaning his entire weight on just one hand, and nothing else. 

So unlike the boy, who would’ve kissed your feet if you let him take the endeavor further like he wanted. 

You were on a first date with a boy you didn’t even know for a week. With a boy who stuck his tongue down your throat. Almost fondled the most private parts of your body, had you not stopped him. And who didn’t drive you home after. 

The prose of the shallow, insolent face of a young male, who didn’t want to be provided with your love and empathy, who kissed you to shut you up, in fact. And the demons of your brokenness, conspired with your father complex, manipulated you into believing that he was moved by it, rather than repulsed by it as his only objective was getting you comfortable enough so you willingly give over something that doesn’t belong to him. 

Your purity. Your private parts. Your femininity. 

Two days later after the date, you had a dream. While you slept beside your best friends who spent the night smoking with you on the stairs outside of their apartment, helping you realize the truth—popping your bubble of pink vapor gained from the kiss and the male attention you’ve always had so little of. Many dreams swam past your sleeping consciousness, but only one resurfaced upon waking up. 

A large beige room; a man standing in the middle of it as he made your bed while you stood clutching your pajamas to your broken, dejected form. You were looking at him, regarding him from head to toe. From his shortly cut, blond hair, to his broad shoulders and toned, muscular arms that would lift you without blinking. From the tank top he wore, to the dark shorts. And once you viewed the same bruises on his body that were on yours, concealed from his sight and awareness, you heard a gentle voice inside your heart. A voice, entwined with the purest form of love, which told you that this was the man you were supposed to be with, not the boy you were seeing. 

You listened to the voice, obeyed it in a way that you didn’t quite understand—silently, tenderly. While you internally quivered in fear in regards to the male species. You were frightened of the man who was taking care of you—not because of who he was or what he potentially had done or would have done, but because of a very simple reason. 

He was a man. 

And you didn’t trust them. 

Not anymore. 

Namjoon was different. Namjoon was a man who was your friend for the longest time. A poet who nurtured his life. Who viewed the world’s secret poetry and sought it in every way he could. He was as much like you as you were like him. But you weren’t his and he wasn’t yours. 

It wasn’t written in the prosaic constitution of this wretched world; and never will be. 

He’s not the man in the dream. 

He never made your bed, although he would if you needed it. But his heart doesn’t belong to love. It is tied to the arts; tied to the people he takes care of, works hard for. His heart belongs to his voice. 

And his voice was silenced in deep indignation when you told him what happened to you. He’s known you for years; he’s known of your lack of manliness in your life—has supported it for as long as he’s walked beside you. Wrote you poems about how perhaps that’s what life is. Aloneness and the arts, the heartbreak if it crawls inside and what you do with it after. You’ve read them, worshiped them, obeyed them, even though your need for love always persisted within you. 

And it led you here. Back to him, needing his poems, although now your deeper brokenness asks for his recitation. 

But he’s still silent. 

Not silent to your pain, however. Not silent to the tornado in your sternum that makes you pause between your words due to its intensity. That makes you look at the leaves of the grass instead of the earth within the pools of his eyes. But you can feel the strength of his indignation that is mightier than the whirlwind in your bones. And it’s warm, so terribly warm, growing warmer the longer he looks at you, in spite of the lowering of the heat of the sun and the evening sweeping past the field, the coldness of the soil as if it never had been touched by that heat. 

Like you, almost. 

“I think it was him who told me that,” you continue, brushing your thumb over your yellowing bruise upon your knee from your injury. “It’s why I remember the dream so vividly. Why it made me never want to see the guy again. Why it suddenly made me understand why my friends reacted the way they did when I told them what happened.” 

You believe it, and nothing could cover your belief due to its force—its quiet, tender force that graces you with a little bit of strength to be here with him, to be able to share it with him with the said understanding and calmness, calmness so akin to nothingness. 

How delightful it is, that state of emotions. 

You feel as though you’re telling the story of another person. Perhaps Namjoon has done it in you by letting you talk without interrupting like your friends did. They outburst so colorfully and it made you feel so small and so stupid. Namjoon did no such thing—through his silence he put great meaning into your story. 

And it feels nice. More than nice. You appreciate it with the little you’re able to feel towards a man. 

“Why did you let him kiss you again?” Namjoon asks, softly, breaking that nearly long season of his silence with the kind of gentleness that only he’s capable of. 

He must be a different breed, you conclude. One you’ll never have the opportunity to know, intimately. 

Your mouth rounds in a faint pout because you know your answer, and sheepishly you camouflage it by taking a puff of your vape, expecting the banana flavor to give you the courage you need in order to say it. 

You hear Namjoon follow you suit, sucking on the bud of his cigarette before he puts it out in yours and his makeshift ashtray—a bottle of water that you both drank. The hiss and the dying out drives you quicken your scrambling of bravery and you don’t really know where that vague sense of impatience comes from. 

Namjoon is anything but impatient. 

You sigh, taking another puff, blowing it into the wind, watching it where it takes it to. Wish you were taken elsewhere, too. By an invisible hand that means well. Take you to a place of joy and respect, of devotion and care. 

You wonder if a place like this exists, at all. 

“Because…” you trail off, the tornado in you thickening, threatening your calmness and you can’t stop the blooming of your pout, the deepening of it, either. “Because it was my first real kiss with a guy and I wanted experiences like that. I wanted to live. I wanted to have what everyone else has so easily.” 

A beat of silence. The tornado enlarges. And you feel as though you were in the middle of it, not the other way around. The raw truth, you’ve said it. Thank God you said it to a person that knows he must handle it with care. It’s the reason why you ran to him. Why you invariably do. 

“But he didn’t have your consent. He didn’t ask for it, so he didn’t have it. He just grabbed your head and kissed you. And because you wanted experiences doesn’t mean he had your consent.” 

You furrow your brows, out of step with him. “It was me who kissed him at one point. I even bit his lip.” 

For some reason, your uttered words cause you to look at him. With his arms wrapped around his knees and hands interlocked, he scowls. His scrunched brows cast a shadow upon his marble face, upon the thin line of his tightly pressed lips, and you fear you did something wrong. 

“Did you kiss him because you wanted to kiss him or did you kiss him because you wanted experiences?” 

That question shocks you and you can’t speak. You swivel your head back in shame, tipping it, and you twiddle your thumbs, the answer raw and obvious, out in the open without needing any transportation of words.

You felt comfortable with the guy. Had chemistry with him that would run deeper if you were on the same page as him. But there was something about him, which you still can’t pinpoint, that built a translucent wall between your heart and him. You didn’t find him attractive enough to kiss. You didn’t expect to be kissed either by the end of the date. But you went on with it for one sole reason. 

The tornado explodes through you and Namjoon can feel it. 

He places a hand on your shoulder. Makes you look at him with that singular gesture and your eyes well with tears, the residue and effect of the explosion. 

“Never, and I mean never, do that again. Never do things that you aren’t innately hungry for and never do them in order to live a life you think you should,” he says and it’s a proverb that must be written in the book that had opened within your dream. “I don’t believe in God, but I do believe that you were protected from that piece of shit, who had the audacity to put his hands on you.” 

And there it is, the recitation of a different poem, one you didn’t quite want, but find yourself to be in need of. Your tears flow without direction, dripping onto the petals of the violet and pink wildflowers that brush against your legs with every breath of the wind. 

And you nod. 

Maybe they needed it, too. Maybe that’s why you’re here, why God put that lesson in your life that made you run to Namjoon. He took your hand and gave you a role. 

To be a helper of his. 

Quench the thirst of the flowers and quench yours, too, through that work. 

“No one is allowed to think they can touch you like that on the first date. I know how guys think. They think that because they paid for you, they paid for your body—and I’d kill them for that if I could,” he breathes out, waggling your shoulder to emphasize the importance of his words. And you breathe them in, consider them the scolding of a father, one that is done out of love and care and one that is good for you. Not meant to harm, not meant to express the voice of his upper hand. It’s meant for you. For your well-being. “He was dead to me the moment you told me you had to stop his hand from going further down. And the moment you told me he didn’t drive you home at night. That’s not someone you experience life with. That’s someone you walk past.” 

You nod and you sob, weaving your way into his step, believing his words—the depth of them, the meaning of them, the end to the sentence piercing your heart because that’s how you met the guy. He stopped you on the street and chatted you up. Gave you a false sense of comfort and safety.

Namjoon kisses your worth over and over again, clutches your brokenness and puts it together with his gentle touch—all through his grip on your shoulder, through the verses of his poem. 

He doesn’t dare to go further. Because he’s respectful, because he’s older, because he cares for you, regards you as human and not a piece of meat meant for satisfactory purposes. Thrown away after the deed is done. 

You take mental notes of those attributes. Write them somewhere upon your flesh to remember later on. 

Respectful. Older. Caring. 

The antonyms of the boy you were seeing. 

“Someone will come along who will serve life to you on a silver platter. He will find you and he will respect you. Will be afraid to touch you because of how golden you are; afraid to stain you. He will love you and only then will you love him back. That’s how you’ll know he’s the one. He’ll love you first,” Namjoon recites on, your tears dropping onto the back of his hand and trickling down his fingers. He grasps your hand and you feel the liquid of your understanding on his skin. Somehow it locks it in. “He’ll wait before he kisses you. And you’ll be filled with so much longing to kiss him that you’ll feel like bursting. That’s how it should be.” 

You nod for the last time, overwhelmed, but changed. You believe the tornado won’t find you for a long time—for as long as Namjoon is here. 

“Don’t rush. Do what you love to do, your hobbies. Read. You’re not missing out. You’re living already. You’re alive. You’re experiencing life, even if it means you’re doing it in the company of your friends, in a platonic realm. It counts.” 

The last stanza. 

He hugs you. Grateful, healed, reassured—he seeps those new attributes in you by giving names to them as he wraps his arms around you and you perceive that’s precisely what you’re feeling. 

Grateful. Healed. Reassured. 

And you perceive he showed you how love is meant to be expressed. The man does it first. 

And when a storm rolls in and the wildflowers startle against your skin, Namjoon walks you home. Doesn’t leave until he knows you’re safe inside. 

Heals what he didn’t break. Reteaches what you’ve been wrongly taught. 

You’re living. You’re alive. You repeat those words to yourself as you undress yourself and wash away the wrong touch from your body, this time with great consciousness and will. And the vapor from the water, different from the one that was conjured from your madness of falsely living, seals in Namjoon’s touch on your skin, writes upon it the stanzas of his proverb. 

You’ll remember them the next time. 

And there will be a next time because you’re living. You’re alive. 

Namjoon is a different breed because he must be an angel, dressed in white as he was. A helper just like you, ordained by God he doesn’t believe in for you. 

Otherwise he wouldn’t be in your life at all because while you quenched your thirst, he filled up your hungry belly. 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth.

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved

BACK to masterlist

[manjirosanosgf]

Stuck With Me - S. Todoroki

Chapter 5: Rage Quit???

M.list

Writing:

Mina dragged you to the showers to help wash your hair, training with Todoroki unfortunately led to your hair being quite messy. There was a knot in the back which formed through getting frozen and thrown around.

The two of you wore matching pajamas and made your way to Sero’s dorm, unfortunately he was playing music. Mina banged on the door before shouting, “Sero open up!”

“My bad guys! You two are late, we started without you.” Sero opened the door and you saw Jirou and Denki playing together, them nudging each other as a way to throw the other off. Bakugo was yelling at Todoroki while Kirishima tried to calm him down.

“No arguing my ass.” You laughed walking in and sitting down.

“Alright so it goes like this, first and second stay while third and fourth switch with someone else. Since you won last time and Denki got second, you two get the remote. I’ll play to teach Todoroki and the last spot goes to whoever wants it.” Sero explain sitting on his bed.

“Me!” Jirou shouted. Once Denki and Jirou finished up their game, you took your seats and began to play.

“How stupid, I can’t believe I agreed to come tonight.” Bakugo huffed as he watched the four of you play while lying on the floor against the bed.

“Well, I think this is fun. Maybe try to lighten up a bit Bakugo?” Todoroki suggested.

“Shut the hell up icy hot!” Bakugo shouted at the boy.

“You both need to be quiet! I can’t concentrate!” You shouted. Denki, Sero, and you would always take the game much more seriously than the others. Despite the arguments, playing after a long week felt like a reward. Normally you’d always gather and play on Thursdays or Fridays, this week, Thursday was planned as a way to not stress out over sparring (per your request) which clearly didn’t happen.

As it was the last lap, you sat up and tried to pass Denki who was still ahead of you. Luckily, you got an item box with a banana which you threw ahead of you right where Denki was and got the lead before passing the finish line.

“Hell yeah! I win again!” You shouted.

“That was so rigged!” Denki argued, “you drove right over my banana last second! I should’ve won!”

“Not my fault you got bad aim!” You smirked.

“Enough arguing! Since none of you know how to beat this idiot, I’ll show you how it’s done.” Bakugo said as he grabbed the controller from Jirou and Kirishima grabbed it from Sero.

“You might wanna pay attention to Denki or _____, I’m not that good at this game.” Kirishima laughed.

“It seems… interesting. After this round, can I join?” Todoroki asked.

“Of course man! Warning you now though, _____ and I are real good at this so don’t sweat it if you can’t beat us, same goes for you Kacchan.” Denki teased, the round started and you were at the front. You and Denki battled for the lead before Bakugo flew past you two. He kept his lead and on the last lap you got a mushroom at the end. You flew past Denki and got stuck right behind Bakugo as he drove over the finish line.

“Hell yeah! What’d I tell you dumbasses!” Bakugo smirked dropping the controller.

“Fuck you! That was rigged!” You yelled pushing him.

“You wanna push me again? I’ll blast your stupid face off!” He yelled before Kirishima got in the middle, as you both semi-calmed down, the next match started consisting of you, Bakugo, Todoroki, and Mina. She rushed to her ‘lucky spot’ and the game started.

At the end of the first lap, you were in first while Bakugo and Todoroki fought for second and Mina was right behind them, just not close enough to get a lead on them. A lot of yelling was happening while Todoroki sat in silence. When it was the final lap, Bakugo and Todoroki both got mushrooms while all you had was a banana. You aimed it and ended up driving over it yourself, allowing all three of them to pass. There was one final item box before the finish line and you received a mushroom which you used and ended in third, just barely passing Mina.

“No!” You screamed as if you had just witnessed a crime, “my top spot!”

“How the hell did Todoroki and Bakugo beat her? I’ve been trying for weeks to win against her and you do it so easily?” Denki huffed.

“Guess you two suck if even icy hot could beat you.” Bakugo smirked as he threw the controller in the middle.

“It was fun playing with you guys.” Todoroki said as he placed his controller on the table.

“They’re the top two tonight unless someone wants a rematch, no takers?” Sero asked.

“I want a rematch! That was so unfair!” You shouted.

“Put me in too!” Denki shouted as you both sat down closer to the television. The round ended with you in dead last after slipping over your own banana just seconds before reaching the finish line, allowing all 3 to pass you.

“I slipped AGAIN??” You shouted getting up and throwing your controller, “this is two losses in a row! Not even second place! I give up!”

“I think we have our champions for the night!” Mina laughed.

“Kinda shocked that Bakugo hasn’t blown Todoroki’s head off.” Jirou laughed as you turned to the two of them.

“Stop talking to me like I’m a damn toddler!” Bakugo yelled before Kirishima and Sero held his arms back.

“Really? I couldn’t tell with that bedtime of yours.” You joked, earning a small chuckle from the others, including Todoroki.

“The hell did you just say?” Bakugo asked trying to break out of Kirishima and Sero’s grasp.

“Alright! Bedtime guys!” You shouted backing, “it’s getting late and clearly people are not in good moods!”

As you all began leaving, Todoroki stopped you, “wait up _____.”

“Did I leave something?” You turned back, checking your pockets.

“No, I was just wondering if I went to hard on you today during sparring? You looked a lot more tired than usual today.” He explained, you smiled at his concern.

“I’m fine, my quirk is all about energy so the more I use it the more tired I get. It’s not a big deal, just some relaxation and I’ll be recharged again!” You smiled, “although it sucks because I’m normally a lot better and louder during game nights.”

“Alright then, on Sunday are you free? The gym is empty every morning and it would be beneficial for us to start training together more.” He suggested.

“Oh right, that’s fine!” You nodded before entering the elevator, before it closed you shouted out to him, “have a goodnight!”

You owe Denki a new controller

The amount of yelling is very downplayed in this chapter but you all yelled so loud that everyone on Sero’s floor could hear

Todoroki actually enjoyed the night and listening to all the arguments

You didn’t care that Todoroki saw you yelling because you were more upset about the game

You ended up yelling at Denki and Bakugo the next morning, still very pissed off about your spot being taken

When you got to the dorms you texted Mina about Todoroki while kicking your feet

Progress is most definitely being made according to Sero!

You and Todoroki both want to plan out a schedule but unfortunately you’re too nervous to text first and he doesn’t like texting people in general

A/n: Well!! After a very busy few weeks I’ve finally posted!! Apologies for being gone… I will NOT be writing you two sparring unless absolutely necessary since it’s just very difficult to write but there will be more coming soon

Taglist (ask to be added):

@serxndipity-ipity-blog @lemon-lav @your-mum3000 @tridentgumfreshy

[gnxosblog]

Our song

Pt 1 (pt 2)

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲✯ 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐩 𝟔 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐨?

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬⁂ 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐭?

Chris x reader

~

Not proofread*

Chris pov

I woke up from the sun shining in my room, I heard soft bird chirping. I wiped my eyes and grabbed my phone. I opened the instagram app and clicked through some stories.

After a while I put my phone away and got out of my bed. I walked over to the bathroom and got in the shower.

After showering I brushed my teeth and walked back to my room to put on clothes. It was a Sunday so I didn’t really have anything planned. I put on some grey sweats and a white t shirt. I put a hat on my head and made my way downstairs.

God we didn’t have much food left for breakfast. I put the last bit of cereal in my bowl and finished the milk.

After breakfast I decided to get some more food so I had food tomorrow. I walked over to my car and made my way to the supermarket.

While driving I put on the radio as my eyes widened. Paradise by Chase Atlantic was playing. Thoughts instantly hid my head. Thoughts of y/n.

We had broken up 6 months ago and I thought I was over her every time until I heard that song. Our song.

We used to sing the lyrics together, we had our first kiss during that song. We went to a Chase Atlantic concert together and we screamed when they started to sing that song.

The break up wasn’t bad, we thought it was for the best. We thought we could live without each other and wanted to see what life was like without each other.

So many memories flashed through my mind. And I couldn’t stop smiling. Thinking of y/n didn’t make me sad. Of course it made me sad because we broke up but the memories were stronger. It made me happy thinking about her.

Before I knew it I was driving to a spot, a very familiar spot for me.

Y/n’s pov

I woke up from my alarm, it was Sunday so that meant yoga morning. I got out of bed and put on some comfortable clothes that I could easily move in. I grabbed a yoga mat and did some exercises for a while.

After the exercises I walked downstairs and made some banana pancakes. I loved those, especially with some forest fruits and honey on top.

After breakfast I decided to take a shower because I was still sweaty and looked like shit.

After the shower I walked back to my room and put on some black leggings and a grey zip up sweater.

I was bored so I decided to drive around and listen to music. I walked over to my car and just started driving.

I put on the radio and I started jamming to songs. After a few songs my eyes widened as they announced the next song. ‘Paradise by Chase Atlantic.’ My mind immediately filled with thoughts. Thoughts of Chris.

Chris and I had broken up 6 months ago and it wasn’t a bad breakup. We both just wanted to see what life was like without each other since we had been together since we were 15.

Memories flashed through my mind as the song played. Us jamming to the song, our first kiss, the Chase Atlantic concert. Before I knew it a big smile was on my face. I couldn’t stop smiling.

I thought I was over him but the song always made me realize maybe I wasn’t?

Before I knew it I was driving to a spot, a very familiar one for me.

I arrived and there I saw it. A very familiar car.

Was he here?

————————————★—————————————

A/n hey, lmk your thoughts. I know kinda short but get ready for part 2! Leave feedback!!!

[sweetfirebird]

So, sometimes, when I am trying to remember my sister in fun ways, I think of when she would want to do sleepover stuff with me as adults which mostly snacks and drinks and watching terrible romcoms. And it was her birthday today, so I picked a het romcom, which usually drive me bananas (the more modern ones) but I thought this one would be okay because of the stars. It was Destination Wedding with Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder and I could not finish it. And I have finished knockoff Hallmark romances for this tradition. That's how bad it was. It was not romantic. It was not funny. The dialogue was weird. Everyone in it was horrible but not in a way where you will enjoy watching two dysfunctional fuckups fall in love... you more wanted them all to die. Or just stop talking. I refuse to believe that was the script when they both signed up to make this movie. It was like someone took the idea of "couples must bicker in romances! it means sexual tension!" and dialed it up *past* eleven.

They did probably deserve it each other though.

If they have some sort of revelation by the end and change their lives to be happier, it would require more charm or insight at the beginning to make us attached to them both and that did not happen. But I doubt any major personality/life changes happened because the run time is only 1 hour 26 minutes. Yikes.

[agent-calivide]

Sometimes I think about making an IEYTD tier list on my personal experience with the levels, but I think if I were to do that I’d have to make three separate lists. One for aesthetics/narrative, one for mechanics/puzzles, and one for completionism.

Like, Party Crasher? 10/10 story and setting, the environment is beautiful and the characters are so well done, but it’s one of the only levels you can get soft locked in.

Deep dive? Stressful and frustrating thanks to the constant flooding that can still happen even after your sub’s breeched, but has really easy achievements to figure out and is a great one to speedrun

First Class? Absolutely GORGEOUS. I fucking love all the small designs and the solutions are all pretty easy to find, but hidden enough you’re getting the satisfaction of solving the puzzles. But the achievements are a fucking nightmare because two of them rely on a stun grenade that’s really hard to finesse the timing of, you only have three of them, and one of them can only be finished in the last 5 seconds of the level, so if it slips your mind you have to redo the whole thing from the beginning of one of the longest levels in the first game.

Rising Phoenix is another one that’s fantastic narratively, but having two achievements related to charging the battery makes it so you have to redo the level multiple times, which is frustrating if you’re just trying to figure them all out and know there’s something with the banana and something with the cattle prod, but can’t do both. And having it be so you can only take down the sawblades with the prod and or the battery (as far as I’ve seen) and charging the battery with the prod makes it to you have no alternative to stop the blades when the game ENCOURAGES you to try that is irritating.

Blind spot is ingenious, driving is clever, the setting is beautiful, and I never felt truly stuck on a puzzle that wasn’t due to a lack of observation on my part, buuut it’s the only part of the game that makes me so motion sick I can’t do more than one speedrun attempt in a row, and tbh the knife in the gearshift did not feel intuitive or hinted at at all, especially when the steering tool looks a lot more like it could undo the screws.

Winter break is really pretty and cozy, and the achievements are really easy to find and speed run, but you spend half the level hunched over like shrimp with a high, screaming whir in your ear.

Some of the robot trophies would penalize the levels in IEYTD 3 because unlike the film trophies in IEYTD 2, they’re not hidden in an intuitive way, they’re just tucked into a tiny tiny corner that goes beyond being observant and straight into “how were you supposed to see that?” Particularly in Hot Water and Cold Shoulder where I honestly still couldn’t see them after watching a guide, I had to trust in the TK to highlight over them.

Cold Shoulder is wonderful design wise, making you feel cold and isolated even down to seeing your breath and the confrontation with Prism is just chef’s kiss, and the achievements are very direct in what you need to do and where to keep an eye out for them for the most part, but if you are near-sighted and can’t get your headset to focus on the Kanji for the mountains you are fucked. I spent seven hours on that level for two days because I couldn’t see the text and was blind firing by the end of it because all I had was “west” and “same level” so I was firing at the wrong mountain for ages.

That last one’s likely heavily influenced by bias from the nightmare that was trying to finish that level, I can admit that, but to try and rank them all on “what’s good and what’s bad” when they all have really strong strong suits and really weak weak points.

[sissybabycucksophia]

The Adult Baby Adoption Part 2

(This story is complete fiction and although i may desperately wish it isn’t, there is no fact or real world experience behind this story, and themes reflected in the story may be triggering, these themes are not my actual beliefs and are only part of a fantasy kink scenario. Also non of the images belong to me)

Eventually the moment i dreaded came, the elevator finally reached ground floor and with a “Ding” the doors would open into the now bustling lobby. No matter how much i tried to pull back against daddy his strength just embarrassed me more as i failed to resist him pulling me by the hand out into the lobby. “Oh my god Mr Carmichael! Is that the guy who came in earlier? Is that ‘baby’?” The very same doorman who had granted me access said trying to hold back laughter as i turned a deep shade of red and hung my head.

“Of course not! This is my newly adopted daughter! This Weak, Defenceless, Helpless and Cute Little Girl is Jade Carmichael. Also that reminds me Doorman! I want Jades face on the watch list for the building, if jade is caught trying to enter or exit the building i want you to handcuff her, call me immediately and while you wait for me you must make her pray for forgiveness till i arrive. I don’t expect she’ll try to run away but measures have to be put in place just in case” Daddy said to the doorman who insisted on taking a picture of me for the doorman notice board. Once that was done, daddy would ask them to retrieve his car. While we waited daddy took me over too a couch in the lobby where he sat me down and from his bag pulled out a banana.

Sitting down next to me daddy would peel the banana 🍌 before handing it to me. “Can’t have you going hungry till we reach the event Princess, eat up now” daddy encouraged as i looked at the banana nervously, then looking daddy in the eyes i said “I… I… I can’t daddy…. I told the agency I… I don’t like bananas” to which daddy replied, “exactly but your not allergic to them which means you’ve made the childish and unfounded decision that you don’t like them. Well thats going to change, so eat up Jade. Growing girls like you need the potassium!”. Looking at the banana, i felt sick, i’d always hated the mushy texture of bananas but I couldn’t defy daddy now, lord knows I couldn’t handle the embarrassment of public punishment. So i took the phallic fruit in my mouth and began to eat, each bite made me wrench and dry heave and my eyes watered trying to eat the disgusting fruit not helped by daddy insisting i finish the entire banana. Finally though it was finished and daddy smiled as he said “see! That wasn’t so bad? But its ok, since your having a minimum of 1 a day from now on you’ll grow to love them!” As embarrassment and discomfort rippled through me i cuddled Angel in my left arm as daddy then took my right.

“Your car is right out front Mr C, safe drive sir” the doorman said to daddy as he and I stood up and headed to the door. Being led by this big man out into the street I couldn’t help but wonder how different things could have been had i paid more attention on that paperwork, could i be sat on some big titted mommy dom’s lap in a diapered dressed as her little boy and playing video games? How different things could have been!. Stepping outside, there to greet us by the roadside sat a beautiful pastel grey Bentley Mulliner Batur. “Oh my god daddy is that yours!? A Bentley Mulliner Batur! Beneath its gleaming bonnet lies the most powerful expression ever of the 6.0 litre, twin-turbocharged Bentley W12 engine. Thats a 710 horsepower car! The fastest i’ve ever driven is 280 horsepower!!! Just how rich are you!!” At that daddy said one of the most demeaning things to me possible. “Jade, first of all don’t take the lords name in vain like that! Secondly, your a little girl! Little girls don’t like or know anything about cars ok princess! Your little girly brain should be more interested in pretty dresses and makeup than cars. So to teach you not to talk about cars from now on you’ll be spanked for showing or expressing knowledge on them. Also you can’t have driven a car as fast as you say, because little girls like you can’t drive. Finally, how much money daddy has should only be your concern when your thanking me for buying you more pretty dresses.” As he proceeded to reach with his free hand for the passenger door handle. How humiliating, to be told i cant like cars because i’m a little girl, to be gender stereotyped for a gender that i’m not and told what my interests should be🥵 unbelievably humiliating.

Opening the passenger door however would reveal something even worse… sat ok the passenger seat was a pink specifically designed seat harness! On the bottom was a padded cushion with a triangular wedge and several straps then on the back there was a wrap around head rest just big enough for my head with 2 chunky cushions on either side and a strap and finally there was a thick harness to hold my chest. Looking at daddy i whimpered “please no daddy, this is to embarrassing! Im a grown up i don’t need a car seat!” But daddy simply laughed as he pushed and manoeuvred me into position. Sitting on the padded cushion, the triangle wedge was between my legs and pushed the skirt of my dress and jacket up, then would guide my arms through the arm holes of the harness before closing it and strapping it tightly so i couldn’t sit forward or move too much from side too side. Then from the cushion a strap was clipped across the top of my knees stopping my upper thighs from moving, finally daddy would run a strap across my forehead keeping my head pinned back against the headrest and sandwiched between the two big cushions. The whole time i whimpered and moaned until i was sat with only my arms able to move freely, my gaze was now forcefully stuck looking forward and because of the big cushions at either side of my head my peripheral vision was obscure. Placing angel back in my arms daddy shut the door and walked around the car before getting in the drivers side and starting the car, as the car started there was an exhilarating growl from the engine to which daddy would infantilise me more by reaching over and holding my right hand while saying “sshh sshh sshh baby girl its ok, the big car isn’t a monster! Daddy will protect you, i know you don’t understand but this is a Mans car! Now lets get to church, can’t keep god and the rest of the flock waiting!” He said with a smile that i could just barely see.

Taking back his hand i clung tightly too Angel as daddy put the car into gear and pulled out into the street, how humiliating! Ever single traffic light from the penthouse building too the church would turn red in us forcing us too stop. Each time we did my cheeks grew redder as people stared, pointed, laughed and teased me from other cars, passing on the sidewalk and more. Finally after a 45 minute car journey we would arrive at a huge Church with a massive ornate Jesus Christ on the cross suspended from the front above the doors. Pulling into the carpark in front, Daddy pulled into a space before turning off the engine and proceeding to release the straps over my head and knees then getting out he’d come round too my side where he would release my torso from the tight and uncomfortable harness and helped me out of the car. Finally we began our approach to the front doors, looking around the car park i was in shock as I spotted Super cars and Expensive cars filling the car park, Bugatti’s, Lamborghini’s, Lotus’s, Maserati’s and more, slowly i began to wonder what the fuck kinda church and delegation this was!!. I also thought about running but daddy had a tight grasp of my hand, however just as we reach the bottom on the steps into the church pressure on my bladder suddenly began building and before i could think i began whimper “i need to pee, please take this thing off me so i can go pee!” I begged daddy however he simply stopped us at the bottom of the stairs and said “pee yourself now Jade! Thats why your in pullups! Stop thinking like an adult, forget about toilets! Your arse will never touch a toilet seat again so act like the weak little baby you are and piss yourself now!” He said sternly as I stood with my knees turned into each other, cuddling angel and looking at him with bright red cheeks and watering eyes…. Hearing that I…. I let go, within seconds warm liquid flooded my diapered crotch and a wave of shame flooded over me. However daddy was leaving no time too stew in my shame for as soon as I finished he then dragged me up the stairs and into the church.

Entering into the reception, daddy smile and gave a friendly greeting too the church receptionist who completely ignored me as she said too daddy “everyones in the main atrium Ulysses, have a blessed day!” To which daddy smiled as he then led me through into a huge wide open space, the wall decorated with christianic symbols and doctrines, the pews had been move too the outsides of the room and in the middle was a huge circular kids play pen with 4 foot tall child barriers, inside there were about 40 men and women of varying physical age all dressed as adult babies of varying age, some were sitting so heavily restrained in their diapers and baby clothes that they could barely move while others sat and crawled around acting the age they were dressed as. Outside the play pen were tables all spread out with the “grown ups” sat drinking wine and talking. As we entered daddy would be approached by a beautiful brown skinned, Black Haired and browned eyed woman in a long black dress which looked very reminiscent if pastoral robes. “Ahhh Reverand Imelda, I hope we’re not too late!” Daddy said with a radiant smile as the Woman gave him a hug before stepping back and said “oh nonsense Ulysses! Your right on time! And pray tell, who is our newest follower of god?” Reverend Imelda said looking at me with a smile. Wiggling my hand which he still had a tight grip on daddy said, “go on baby, don’t be rude! Your pastor asked you a question” nervously i tried my best to soften my voice and said “my name is Jam….I mean Jade Carmichael Miss” which turned my cheeks a bright scarlet with humiliation. Pinching my cheek the Reverend would look at daddy as she said “well isn’t she just adorable! Well you can leave her in the play pen with all the other babies and grab a coffee and some muffins.”

Pulling my face away from the stranger pastors grip daddy would speak for me saying, “Oh absolutely, jade will be going in the play pen. But Reverend Imelda? You don’t have any of those deportment aids for difficult babies handy do you? Jade here hasn’t quite learned to listen to and behave for adults yet” looking at him my eyes widened and I opened my mouth to speak only too have daddy shush me. This was mortifying, being spoken about and too like a dumb child. However as daddy said “deportment aids” and mentioned my unruliness I instantly knew trouble was on its way. “Oh of course Ulysses! I’ll go grab them, get baby’s jacket off while im away so she’s ready” the Reverend cooed as she quickly scurried off past daddy. As daddy unlocked the padlock on my jacket zipper he removed angel from my arms and began to remove my humiliating pink jacket to expose my juvenile and hyper feminine state of dress. “Daddy! Please dont make me wear anything more humiliating! I don’t want those Aid thingys!” I moaned and groaned as daddy completely removed my jacket. At that the reverend appeared with 2 pink fluffy on the inside cuffs connected by a 30 cm link for my ankles and another two exactly the same for my wrists as well as a ring gag designed to look like big red lips.

Before I could protest at all the reverend shoved the ring gag into my mouth making it a gaping hole surrounded by pathetic Pvc Puffy faggot fake lips. Whimpering, i was manhandled into the wrist and ankle cuffs, the ankle cuffs going over my pink sparkly ugg boots i tried to beg for freedom or even just beg to be able to touch myself but i was ignored as the links which linked both ankle cuffs and both wrist cuffs were then connected by another link making it nearly impossible to walk, crawl or squirm to much. Stood unable to separate my legs further an 30cm’s i hung my head In absolute shame as i tried desperately to stop myself feeling turned on as my desperate to be touched penis was painfully smothered in its cage. Then from behind daddy scooped me up bridal style and once in his arms, helpless, dressed like a pussy and restrained I couldn’t help but shoot pathetic caged sissy stickies into my diaper and blush with embarrassment.

Kissing my cheek, Daddy said “now remember and play nice with the other babies! Daddy expects you to behave like a proper lady!” As i looked down at myself, pink lolita style shin length pathetic dress, white shiny leggings and my Sparkly pink ugg boots… god i looked pathetic. Carrying me into the play pen, daddy lay me on my back on a fluffy pink blanket covered in love hearts and surrounded by dollies, then taking angel with him i watched daddy go and take a see at a table and begun talking to some people who looked like acquaintances as the reverend close over the 5ft tall play pen fence. Looking around i was in shock at this place, what kinda church was this? Why were there so many of them who had adult babies? Looking around the pen there were some adult older than me being regressed, some younger, some were extremely femininely dressed, some were extremely masculinely dress, some were lightly bound, others were heavily restrained, some were actively acting like babies and others were desperate to be grown up. However no matter how hard i looked around i could not find another male being forced to be a female baby although i did spot a very attractive female who was clearly being forced to be a male baby. Watching her she was clearly like me and had not planned for this, the poor admittedly very attractive girl with a beautifully feminine face had had her hair shaven right down to a buzz cut, gave her a fake 5 o’clock shadow to look like she had facial hair and dressed her in a full length dark blue romper that looked like a Baseball player which had an open crotch to reveal her Dinosaur diapers, on her arms temporary tattoos of Baseball’s race-cars and dinosaurs, her arm hair has been died a darker colour to make it more obvious, the poor girl had been wheeled into the play pen in a blue Stroller which which restrained her ankles, wrists and torso. She looked so embarrassed, uncomfortable and down right jealous of all the baby girls in the play pen.

However my focus would suddenly snap back to my close surroundings as a man who looked to be in his thirties began crawling over too me. The man had the most childish looking dark blue sailor outfit on, his shorts were very obviously home too more than one puffy diaper and on his head was a matching little sailors hat. Slowly i began to panic and shuffle a little as the man crawled over hand gently brushed my long pink wig away from my face as he and began to speak, “hewwo Butifful, I weally wikes youw dwess. You vewy pwetty giwl~” at which I panicked more and with my gaping faggot lips ring gag in tried to tell him i was a man! “Mommy tolds me I cants touch my peepee for pweasuwe! I fink you vewy pwetty and i fink yous a giwl so yous needs to hewp me makes stickies in my diapees… I’m so fuckin horny man and that woman wont let me touch myself!!!! So i honestly don’t care whats in your diapers dude when you look this much like a girl! Shut up and let me do humpies on you and make out a little…. I gotta cum!!!” He said suddenly dropping the babish talk. Panic and pure disgust set in as i began violently trying to pull my hands further from my ankles and against the restraints to escape.

However at that the man would straddle my pelvis as he knelt with a knee either side of my crotch. Planting one hand around my throat, tears filled my eyes and my cheeks turned scarlett as he then lowered his crotch onto my hands which where restrained just above my crotch. “Rub my crotch with your pretty little hands princess as i hump!!” The man demanded as he began then to rub himself up and down against my hands, dress and diaper. What could i do!? I tried and tried to push him off but he simply tightened his grip on my throat and humped harder, the harder he smashed his crotch into me the sorer it felt as he crushed my caged penis and balls!. After a few moments he would begin groping my chest while shoving his tongue into the gag and making out with the big fake faggot lips of the gag. Gradually he began moaning and whispering for his mommy’s approval, all the while tears flooded down my face from pain and embarrassment as he look me dead in the eyes the moment he hit his diaper orgasm using me like his sex doll. With that he let go of my throat and stopped groping my chest, sitting upright he sat crushing my hands into my caged crotch and looked at me as he said “ohhhhhh god yes that it, stickies in diapees! Thats what we’re here for!!” With a fatigued giggle.

By this point i was sobbing so hard with pain and embarrassment i could barely see him however he would lean in and say, “boy or not, i think I’ll tell mommy I want you as my girlfriend! Then hopefully she’ll talk to your daddy and arrange more playdates like this one!” He teased before spitting into my wide open mouth and saying “welcome to the life of this fucking adult baby parents cult faggot! Thanks for the orgasm!! Mmmmmmmmmwahhh” he said kissing my forehead before crawling off into the crowd of other Adult baby’s. The embarrassment, demoralisation and pure disgust was overpowering and too such a point I would let out a scream of pure rage as tears flooded my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Finally daddy would appear, picking me up he would carry me bridal style back to his table of associates, “apologies folks, you know kids. I better see whats wrong with her” daddy said sitting me on his lap as he sat down and i was surrounded by these strangers who watched as tears rolled down my face.

Unbuckling the gag, daddy would remove the gaping red fake lips from my mouth finally allowing me too close my mouth. Looking at me daddy would stroke my cheek as he said “now then Jade, what were you making such a fuss about?”. To which i sniffled and replied, “that man in the sailor outfit was humping me and hurt my penis by smashing his crotch into mine, i tried to beg him to stop and push him off but he just kept going, groping my chest and sticking his tongue down my throat.” I explained hoping perhaps daddy would get over protective or even tell me he was upset i felt uncomfortable….. but no…. Instead daddy would proceed too humiliate, degrade, belittle and insult me as he proceeded to speak.

“Well first of all Jade. Your a girl, you dont have a penis! Second…. Thats great news!! Your first day out and your feminine and dainty little girl looks have attracted a boyfriend!!! You need to understand, as a pathetic baby girl, you should be happy and honoured that the baby boy found you so attractive that he humped you! In future though, if your going to fit in at this church you need to learn that little girls like you shouldn’t he saying ‘no’ too a boy. If a little boy wants too do something too or with you, as the superior little baby sex, you must do as they say. Remember what i said about cars ? This is the same thing, fill your mind with pretty colours, dresses, makeup, princesses, impressing boys etc!” Daddy said, I couldn’t believe what i’d just heard. What the hell kinda church was this? Who the hell were these archaic minded people! At a complete loss for words i looked at daddy in total shock.

Chuckling to himself daddy then wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his chest, with still my wrists and ankles restrained i could do nothing but cuddle daddy as he rocked me back and forth. Then after about 5 minutes he would resume his adult conversations with his associates as though I weren’t on his lap cuddled into him. Before i knew it…. I had drifted into a peaceful nap in his arms like some kind of magic had taken hold. What would the rest of this horrendously embarrassing day bring 🥵

[turtlemagnum]

so, just had my final driving lesson. here's a summary of all that went wrong:

leg cramps on my driving leg! real fuckin distracting! lemme tell ya, hard to concentrate when your leg feels like it's trying to ouroboros itself. god, i feel like i know what it's like to be my mom now.

didn't knock any cones over but i definitely scraped em a few times! and that's a few more times than i scraped em last time! no clue how i simultaneously performed better and worse than last time! i think it's just that i could deal with mistakes better than before? i dunno

driving instructor who, until now seemed like a relatively chill guy (albeit a bit off), outed himself as a racist, sexist, and climate change denier! all within minutes of each other, even. here's how that went down

so, he casually tells me he's not looking forward to the one scheduled after me, and assuming he's dealt with this person before and had a negative experience i just went "that bad, huh?", to which he responded "oh, well, i shouldn't say this, but... it's a black female, hasn't drove before, so..." so like. look, i understand not being enthused about getting behind the wheel with someone who's never drove before. but aside from like, one time before our lessons, that was pretty much me, and he seemed to trust me pretty quickly. so, yeah i don't think it's that much of a stretch to say that's him being prejudiced, right? even if it's in a somewhat mild, conservative boomer kinda way, that still fuckin sucks, ya feel me? also made me feel a bit relieved that i'm pastier than elmer's glue and was born with a fat nutsack, because something's telling me he might've not been as patient with me if i weren't white or god forbid a Femoid.

so, we finish up with the cones, and right as i'm pulling out he starts talking about the weather, i mention how it's supposed to get colder tonight, he says he's hoping for some snow this year and i casually say that i miss when it'd snow more. this prompts him to ease into a bit of a tirade about how the past couple of years were "unnatural", and that while he doesn't believe in global warming he still thinks something fishy is going on, and how global warming is a ploy by the government to get more tax money (?) and how it was the same in the 70s (???) . and it's like. oh, man, i'm glad you waited for the last possible opportunity to go full mask off on this huh. and like, i feel like i should count my blessings because it definitely felt more like, generic conservative boomer and not like White Nationalist Hate Crimes Guy type, so i guess it could've been worse? like i got the feeling any bigotry he had was less out of outright hatred and more out of a vague discomfort/lack of empathy, which, y'know. still bad. didn't get the vibe that he was a klansman, y'know? could've been worse i guess??? God. guess i'm just glad he took until basically the last possible moment he could've to out himself like that. i'll definitely take 30ish minutes of uncomfortable hmms rather than the 6 or so hours i spent with him total.

anyways my leg still sucks. i need to eat more bananas. or maybe pickles, i hear drinking pickle juice can help with leg cramps. the takeaway i guess is just God I'm Glad That's Over. not even really mad that he technically dropped me off just a bit earlier than he should've

[literaetures]

it’s been such a busy year!! but i wanted to write out some accomplishments just as a reminder to myself about some good things that have happened between the mess

i cooked 3 new dinner recipes!! (very big for me as someone who doesn’t cook)

i baked banana bread for the first time from scratch!! (also massive for me as someone who only bakes boxed mixes)

i started doing yoga more regularly (at least once a week!! that’s been so good for the body and brain)

i’ve finished crochet projects (coasters, granny squares, more coasters)

i’ve tried writing fic again (just little blurbs that don’t see the light of day but it’s been nice to write out the little prompts i have in my head)

i had a really good class i taught this semester and they were so talkative and willing to share their ideas!!

i did three conferences this year for papers i wrote and presented them in panels of other super cool people with super cool papers

i’m becoming more comfortable with being alone with myself (not much!! but baby steps are still steps)

i’m getting more comfortable with driving and am starting to even enjoy it!! actively seeking it out!! that’s never happened before!!

i’m learning to understand my own value and recognize that my sense of self-worth is wrong— that i’m more than my successes and failures just by living and trying new things and not limiting myself (again!! baby steps but steps forward)

and i’m learning that i am valuable and worthy of basic things (love, respect, objects, time, etc. a concept!! but we’re learning)

reframing things to have a positive mindset!! i’m not indecisive. i’m taking time trying to make a thoughtful and informed decision. i’m not a failure. i’m just trying something for the first time and learning to enjoy the process

i’m finding something that makes me smile each day!! at least one thing, every day, to share with a friend or savor a moment for myself even if it’s as small as going for a little walk rather than immediately going from point A to point B (and not seeing that as a hassle!! it’s an unexpected adventure or a new routine to have!! reframing things has been helpful)

journalling more!! oh my god i haven’t journaled regularly in a g e s but it’s been so nice to journal about some good things in my life or, if scary/bad/overwhelming things are happening, then taking some time to write out and tackle some of those stresses to make them more manageable

not! suffering! in! silence! (this is still a wip but!! we’re learning to just. talk to people! reach out! i’m still bad at starting and maintaining conversations bc i get overwhelmed easily, but im trying to be better about trusting that people know their boundaries and limits and what they have the time/energy/capacity to handle in that moment or later on. aka!! unlearning this idea that i’m a burden to everyone and everything around me. i’m just me!! and people care about me. and i need to trust that this is true. and learn to believe it)

eating fruit regularly— this sounds silly but holy shit. eating at least one fruit a day?? life changing

i started therapy!! and then fell off but that was still big!! and a new experience for me

the power of a candle— the power of a little bright light and good smell in the space around you?? immense

i started a little tradition where i get new piercings on my birthday to celebrate the day and we’re feeling!! so much more comfortable in our own skin these days

and maybe there’s more but!! these have been really big and important moments for me that i want to remember having— and maybe remind myself of for a rainy day

there’s good in this world and i hope that— if anyone is reading this— that you also are experiencing some good things in your life or learning to see things as a good and valuable and important, too!!

[laurathegreatest]

August will be my starting point. 🌊🌻

Wednesday 14 (D-16 until september)

Weigh in: 65.55kg.

Food eaten: 3 black coffees, lettuce, sesame seeds, a tomatoe, a bit of vinegar, a boiled egg, a banana, 2 and a half small pieces of meet, cooked mushrooms, cooked green beans, cooked pepper, and a bit of an hojaldre and some iced lemomade. A small empanadilla.

To do:

Stretch lightely, go running 10 minites with your doggy, do your stretching routine, do a small strength circuit, stretch lightely.

Shower and do your skincare.

Ice your knee and have a lettuce bowl with vinegar and a boiled egg for breakfast. And a tomatoe and seasem seeds.

~ 10:04 ~ The last few weeks have been very difficult for me. I have had no sttenfth to do anything, but I am back on track. I need to feel I have a direction and I am going to do my very best.

~ 12:31 ~ I finished my tasks!!!!! It's been so long since I last could make myself be productive, that right now I feel like I could do anything. I feel amazing. 🥰

Right now I am eating my salad and I feel more than satisfied.

I love being on track, it feels amazing. August Is. Gonna. Be. My. Month, and I am going to be my dream self. 💙💙💙💪

To do:

Prepare your bag to go to your grandma's house.

Walk your doggy.

Go to your grandma's house.

~15:01 ~ I had lunch with my grandma (cooked veggies with meat and a piece of fruit). And now I am going to take a nap and continue. I've got this! 🩷💙

To do:

Actualize both your cv. Send your cv to all the places near you (includind Em).

Check your opportunities of jobs in the town hall. Every one.

Get pads.

~ 18:52 ~ I am glad I didn't waste anytime scrolling today, so now I can relax.

I asked a girl I talk with at the climbing gym, if she could go out of her way to take me with her in her car. Because I can't drive and I usually go on my electric bike and today it is been raining heavy all day. Which is great since the temperatures have dropped from usually 27°C at this current hour, to 19°C right now.

I am fighting my feelings of being a nuisance. She is so nice to make me this favor, I feel like I owe her one, and I am feeling so bad, for making her make me this favor. I know she's doing it because she wants to, and because she's a good person... But still, it feels bad. Ugh. I hate asking for favors for this exact reason. But this is how you bond with people, being vurnerable...

It will be okay, I will just be grateful. 🩷

I searched for jobs online, and went through the rain to buy myself some pads (my sister left me without), and climbing shoes.

I had to buy my climbing shoes today no matter what because tomorrow, some people from the gym and I will go rock climbing.

I am so excited! The "friend" (i hope we become closer soon!), who invited me is letting me borrow a vest and a helmet, and everything else.

I am very excited because I always wanted to learn. And I couldn't go tomorrow morning to the shop because it is a national holiday and everythinv will be close.

I got as wet as if I had gone swimming. But anyways, it was fun getting cold in the summer. And I gained time to walk my doggy again.

I am now relaxing and waiting for it to be time to go. 💛

To do:

Tidy up.

Go to the climbing class and be grateful to Amparo to take you there.

Go running with Morgana (my doggy). If it's not raining too much.

~ 21:49 ~ I am grateful that I went with Amparo. I had a great time, in the end the class was just us two. And we always talk a lot and encourage each other. We talked a lot in the trips of going to and coming from the gym, she assured me that it was no big deal to help me. And I had fun talking with her.

I am going to eat a small dinner even though I didn't plan on eating anything else today, because I always get very hungry after climbing class.

I had a snack now, a small empanadilla and I am goinv to finish exer isinc for the day before eating a the same salad as before.

~ 23:44 ~ I finished exercising for the day, and just had my salad for dinner. I sttetched a bit, went on my 10 minute run circuit, did my stretching routine, did a short strength corcuit consistent of 30 push-ups, 30 lounges, and 1 minutes headstand.

The strength circuit was very difficult without any energy left from food, but I still managed.

Then I stretched and made myself the salad.

Now I feel like if I touched my bed I could fall asleep instantly.

I am going to sleep now.

[chloeverto]

Haha oh hey there didn't realize you were there. Well how long were you there? Oh haha no matter. I got your favorite flavor of popsicle. Blue Raspberry! Removed the wooden stick and everything for you. Oh yep yep, bowl and spoon right here haha. Always one step ahead aren't you. That's cool yeah yeah cool. Oh my? No I had mine earlier haha. Yeah Banana flavored. You wanna watch a dhow or something? Speaking of Netflix didya hear about its stock? Yeah dropping like flies. Oh wow you finished your popsicle already! Do you want another? No? Ok. Yes I remember. Doctor said only one a day. I just thought maybe you wanted another. Hey do you wanna go for a drive? I feel like going 35 down the highway. No yeah my car got out of the shop last Monday. Picked it up right when they opened. Got some potatoes while I was out too. Made some mashed potatoes, turkey gravey, popcorn chicken. Delish!! Well I did have leftovers but I ate it all already. Last Monday remember haha. You silly goose. Anyways, I think Jerma is live right now? Streaming the new Percy Jackson game, apparently it has a lot of bugs. No yeah, the game was adapted from the movie so you know it's gonna be bad. I heard no voice actors would even touch it so they just got game devs to do all the voices. Surprisingly the sound effects are top notch. Ok sick yeah, let me just plug the HDMI into my laptap. Oh sick! We're in the prestream. Think we could do a one guy moment? Haha yeah yeah, I heard they're al scripted. No yeah, Jerma and Ster have a game where Ster will use fake accounts to send messages and Jerma has to guess which messages are Ster's. Yeah I know right, with how fast that chat moves it's hard to read even a single message. I kinda wanna go on a drive right now. But like, not really you know? Sometimes the car just beckons to me. The exhaust? No that's so weird. Hey wanna know what that reminded me of though. When I was a kid I threw a rock at my friend's head and sent him to the hospital. He came back the next day but then I moved houses. Haha yeah I still feel kinda bad about it. Wait what did Jerma just say? Ahha no way! That's gonna be nominated for best one guy moment for sure! What's that? Oh yeah for sure that was Ster haha. I don't actually believe that by the way, just a funny conspiracy theory. Isn't your dad into some weird conspiracy theories? Uh huh, yeah. No yeah how can people fall for that haha. That's crazy, could you even imagine how crazy that would be hahahaha. Hey you know what why don't I get some icecream. I'm thinking Mint Chocolate Chip, you? Yeah ok sounds good. I'll run to the store and be right back.

20 days later

Happy Wednesday Mom! Humpday!! Woooo! Yeah ahaha!

6 Hours later

Hey I'm home, how are you? Oh no! Tell me about it. Ah well fair enough, I had an alright day. Saw my mom earlier. We just chatted, surprisingly pleasant. Well of course not, you know how they are. Different generation and all that junk. Junk inside your trunk. Yeehaw! Those are some horses. Horses run very quickly even though their legs are like a finger, or however that fun fact goes. Did you know that there are different sizes of infinity? Like the whole set of integers, you know n+1 where n is the current number. All the numbers you would reaxh using that expression. Countably Infinite. What is uncountably infinite is all real numbers. So that would include numbers with decimals and stuff. Cause 1.0 is a number and 1.1 is a number and 1.01 is a number and 1.001 is a number and 1.0001 is a number and so forth. You can't even get to 2. It's that big. How crazy is that! While yeah numbers and counting and shit is like, made up by humans it's still cool. Sven if it has no practical real world use. Though maybe that's just me being autistic. If you made it this far tag your friends! No but yeah, I'm just a quirky trans girl just living it up in the big city! Not a care in the world! I sometimes look out the window with my cat when he chirps. Try to see what he sees. He's a little orange fella. Real cute. Mostly birds you know? Sometimes we talk him out for a walk, just around the neighborhood. Put his collar, vest, and leash on.

Ons time in a walk he fisted a hole in a tree and a bird flew out. It was so crazy! I have a final I should be working on, but I like tip typing away at my phone. Like a little movie script. Haha would it be funny if I asked my boyfriend to proofread all of this. Haha that would be so crazy. I want this post to be longer. My goal was to make this like, the length of color of the sky. You know? The type of post that just takes a while to scroll past. I might have to just put it in my drafts and add on later. This is the end of the first time I add to this

Bro it's like 2 years later how crazy is that. Fuck fuck ufkc fuck fuck duck dick fuck fuckd ducm hahhahaba FUCK YOU A grape what even is that. Raisins my ass we kill plants in this ass. Root and all I just go into the woods and start pulling them up. Don't even harvest them I just like this is FALSE I DO NOT go into the nature by myself and I largely leave nature alone. I think I watched The Original Jumanji too young and now plants scare me kinda. Mushrooms too but that's from Ben 10 I think. Fucked up you know. I could be enjoying way more different types of food but I can't. Ok back to the single sided conversation.

Hey man long time no see. Still on the 1 a day popsicle regime? Yeah I hear you man BIG pharma really sucks you in. Not that being on pills forever is bad it just sucks that it's such a strain on the individuals finances. No man I'm not a cuck that was one time. Well sure I like watcjing people kiss but anyone who likes romance movies would be a cuck then. Wait are you a cuck? Yeah ok whatever man. Anyways, wanna watch some Narnia readings on youtube? I know this one guy that just recorded all the words in the books alphabetically and just plays each word as needed. No not really, that'd be way too much work. I... yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be like this. This wasn't what this was supposed to be like. You, you never were supposed to get diagnosed with popsicle-itus. That's on me. I love you. I'll stay with you

FUCKING SIKE bitch ass get FUCKED bro I melted a popsicle and out it in your drink and now you're gonna DIE. That's what you get for fucking my mom man. Little BITCH! Oh yeah, btw I don't even like Mint Chocolate Chip. Suck on those grapes fucker. Of course I'll hold your hand. You'll wake up tomorrow and I'll find you.

Baited lul

[tauforged]

had a bizarre dream where my car literally skidded on a banana peel while i was driving to work and spun out and flipped and got totaled and i had already been running late so i called my supervisor to tell them ‘hey dude i got in a really bad car accident i’m gonna be late as all hell today’ and they were like fine just come in whenever you can. and i finally show up and i find out that because i was late they tacked on extra hours to my shift to make up for it and yeah that’s whatever but when i did the math i realized i was scheduled to work a 32 hour shift that day and when i asked my supervisor what the fuck that meant he said it was a computer error and i shouldn’t worry about it. so i finished my shift and clocked out at the normal time with everyone else and i guess bcs my car was still totaled i started walking home and i’m almost there when i get a call on my radio (which i had forgotten to take off when i left apparently?) like ‘dude where are you your shift isn’t done yet’ so i walk all the way back in and tell the supervisor he’d just told me i could leave and he was like ohhhh right lol sorry. my bad. yeah you can go home. walk all the way back home again and pass by the same spot where my car got wrecked only to see the banana peel is still there and someone else just also completely ate shit on it , totaling their car as well