#it's not a transaction it's an effort put by everyone to make the life better for others and themselves

[cigarette-room]

attachment styles of tiktok have started going into their pathetics once again

"anxious attachment can only be happy when they're loved by you :(" learn to not depend on others for slimmers of happiness dumbass

"avoidant ppl are human too :(" cool and they should stay away from me

[redwinewhiteroses]

Astrological observations based on the degree theory

Part 1 🩵

Men with ascendant in taurus degrees(2°, 14°, 26°) can be gentlemen. They are seen as husband material or they are very earnest in being a husband and fulfill their role in a traditional way. Can be reliable and respectful partners. They also make women feel special.

People with ascendant in virgo degrees(6°, 18°) will feel like slaves sometimes. They'll feel like the effort they put into things often go noticed but unappreciated. They will be of service to others, often at the detriment of their own health. Will put others' needs above their own. Very helpful in nature, service-oriented but sometimes may lack boundaries when it comes to serving others.

People with ascendant in virgo degrees(6°, 18°) simply put are very helpful and will lend you a hand willingly. Very responsible too. Big sister vibes fr.

People with ascendant in virgo degrees(6°, 18°) can have poor self-esteem sometimes all because of their helpful and service-oriented nature. I don't know why but I think they are laughed at, made fun of or criticized for the very reason. I think the only exception is those with healthy boundaries.

People with ascendant in sagittarius degrees(9°, 21°) love travelling. They absolutely love roadtrips and when they travel, they like to travel far. Can be very preachy and inclined towards philosophical views.

Moon in aries or aries degrees(1°, 13°, 25°) get angry if their emotions get hurt and it will be very visible on their face. They are pretty scary when that happens. They will be annoyed and you will not want to cross their path until their anger subsides.

Moon in leo or leo degrees(5°, 17°, 29°) oftentimes have the spotlight on them. They just somehow end up getting a lot of attention from people. They also tend to have a child-like and playful demeanor about them. They radiate young and bright energy.

Moon in leo degrees(5°, 17°, 29°) express their emotions very creatively. Can be super vocal about how they feel about something. Can have a vibrant and colorful mind.

Moon in libra degrees(7°, 19°) have a serene, a still calmness about them. A sense of tranquility in their emotions. They can be quite patient listeners. Will listen to you talk attentively with much interest. They also tolerate others opinions imho or at least they try. These folks have pretty peaceful minds in normal stress-free circumstances. I can't exactly explain that feeling, it's a warm sense of calm you feel when you have a mental or emotional connection with them. Also I believe it's easy to bond with them over conversations.

Jupiter in libra degrees(7°, 19°) are high on morals and values. They wish the best for everyone and doesn't have evil intentions for anyone. They can also hate having monetary debt to someone. They can be very fair when dealing with money and transactions.

Jupiter in capricorn degrees(10°, 22°) will take control in certain situations and work for the betterment of their loved ones. Wise leadership or should I say working hard in a very wise manner. They also have a lot of luck to overcome challenges through sheer hard work.

Jupiter in aquarius degrees(11°, 23°) can make a lot of friends. They are generally well liked by their peers and friends for their friendliness.

Jupiter in libra degrees(7°, 19°) are big on social justice. They have high morals. They always lead their life according to their moral compass. Can be philanthropic or benevolent in nature.

Mars in sagittarius degrees(9°, 21°) will hate when their freedom is restricted. They will likely really hate and even be rebellious if they feel stuck and bound for whatever reason. Loves their freedom and doesn't react well to having restrictions imposed on them.

Mars in leo degrees(5°, 17°, 29°) will be quite good at solving problems creatively. More than innovative solutions, they are good at giving creative solutions. When doing a diy project they will be very creative and their own personal touch to it. They can get recognition for their creative ways when approaching and overcoming challenging situations.

Mars in cancer degrees(4°, 16°, 28°) can have mommy issues. They can have a love-hate relationship with their mother. Can feel overburdened by their mother or they can be extremely protective over their mother in a furious way. Rage can be expressed in a passive aggressive manner. Can frown at people when they are mad lmao

Saturn in taurus degrees(2°, 14°, 26°) can struggle with finances. They can oftentimes find themselves being unable to save up money. Will struggle feeling financially stable. They might have a difficult time getting opportunities to enjoy luxury.

Saturn in leo degrees(5°, 17°, 29°) might dislike attention or they just prefer to not socialise as much. They might not have any struggles with socialising, they simply don't enjoy it imo.

People with saturn in sagittarius degrees(9°, 21°) are not preachy. They are usually not big on philosophy or holding philosophical views.

Saturn in aries degrees(1°, 13°, 25°) can sometimes give themselves upto fate or struggle to jump into new beginnings. Can be quite passive when grabbing opportunities too.

Venus in scorpio degrees(8°, 20°) will either receive valuables like money and jewellery from others or they will have them taken away from them. Or this can happen simultaneously.

Venus in scorpio degrees(8°, 20°) are possessive and prone to jealousy. They likely won't appreciate people looking at their romantic partner with heart eyes or flirting with them. They react pretty impulsively or intensely to this. Their reaction depends on the mars sign. Mars in cancer/libra degrees will be quite passive aggressive and just suffer in silence. Mars in scorpio will have lasers in their eyes and knives in their hands lol

Sun in gemini degrees(3°, 15°, 27°) are the ones that talk to everyone in the neighborhood. They talk to anybody and everybody who's open to talk with them. They also make a lot of friends or at least get to know a lot of people. Naturals at networking. Initiating conversations with strangers is second nature to them. Might love talking to people over the phone too lmao. Loves being social and if they initiate a conversation with a stranger, they'll just get to know everything about their past, present and future and if everything goes well, they just made a new buddy.

Mercury in aries degrees(1°, 13°, 25°) says things before thinking and oftentimes regret spilling personal details. Can spill secrets and confidential information impulsively without any thought. This can be different if other placements make a person more reserved or secret. Then they will hold themselves back even if they have the impulse to say what they wanna say without worrying about consequences lol. They can cuss pretty badly if provoked and says harsh things in the heat of the moment.

Mercury in taurus degrees(2°, 14°, 26°) have a certain calmness to their voice. Very serene or gentle communication style.

Sun in cancer degrees(4°, 16°, 28°) won't have any problem in showing their nurturing qualities. They can be very caring and it likely radiates through their personality and demeanor.

Venus in capricorn degrees(10°, 22°) can be a bit strict with their romantic partners. They can oftentimes be harsh and overly critical too.

Having lunar nodes in taurus degrees(2°, 14°, 26°) will make you realize the importance of having savings or an emergency fund. People with this placement can be very careful about how they spend their money.

People with lunar nodes in libra degrees(7°, 19°) will uphold fairness in society to the best of their ability. At least they really try to do that. Can be sensitive to social injustice.

Let me know if you have any of these placements and whether you relate to the said descriptions.

These are just observations I made by observing the lives and birth charts of friends and family .

Thanks for being here! Sending lots of love your way🩵

[imtrashraccoon]

Consider this... The Nightmare of Apathy but Dreamswap

I'm kinda experiencing brainrot over Helios and Eos at the moment...

Dream is the one who rules over a world that is permanently day where everyone is happy and adores him. I imagine there would be sun worship but it's morphed into worshipping the deity that literally glows and makes everyone's life better.

Plant life flourishes and the climate is always comfortably warm. I don't think animal life would be much different with permanent sunlight but I'm not going to be putting thought into this right now lol.

Somehow, MC (probably named something vaguely related to the sun to have a nice parallel) meets Dream. Not sure how or why but it would either be transactional or a coincidence. Or maybe they have a "dark opposite" soul and Dream wants to "fix" them.

Dream and Nightmare still quarrel over the multiverse, although Dream has more influence thanks to time and positivity being easier to spread. Nightmare is gaining ground though which is rather concerning to Dream.

Nightmare forms his own team, not sure if it'd be the usual rabble or others. Without spoiling possible future plot points for TNA, there is a conflict between the brothers that leads Dream to forming his team. Again, possibly the usual rabble but it could be interesting if he "converts" bad guys to his cause.

I could go on but I will end up spoiling the finale to my fic... ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Or maybe it's like how Swapfell and Fellswap are similar but different? (Swapdream?)

Same premise as above, but Aylin is on Nightmare's side the whole time. ("Dark opposite" soul again?) I think this would be more like a desperate rebellion against a vast empire, except the rebels are technically the bad guys. So lots of angst and action scenes where they barely get out alive?

Aylin would meet Nightmare on more normal terms. He isn't a domineering lord but a pathetic outcast, hated by everyone because he only brings negativity when he's around. Or maybe his world is the one place his brother can't "taint" and while he's not loved by the populace, they understand all would be lost if he wasn't trying to maintain the balance. Maybe the economy is hyper focused on production for war efforts?

They'd get into a relationship much more quickly, especially after saving each other's lives a couple of times. Nightmare teaches her to fight, use magic, and possibly other skills he learned too. In turn, she teaches him what she knows as a herbalist and creates many valuable tonics and potions for conflict.

They pick up friends along the desperate, uphill, in the rain battle that is trying to re-establish emotional balance in the multiverse. Could be the usual rabble, although they'd probably have to rescue them from Dream's clutches first. Not sure if the boys would be more or less insane, especially if Dream was forcing them to be positive through magic.

The duo aren't loved by the majority of the multiverse and would likely run into many powerful players. Or maybe Dream hires bounty hunters to go after them. (Fresh might make sense here as he isn't a good guy and probably wouldn't appreciate Dream.)

The potential for a "happy" ending is very low and something drastic would have to occur for that to even happen. I would explain what but again, I'd literally spoil everything for TNA...

I think I like this idea much more than the previous one... (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠)

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

🍓 What is something you and the mun disagree on?

✧ ━━ 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴𝚂: 𝚁𝙾𝙱𝙸𝙽 𝙰. 𝙱𝙰𝚄𝙳𝙴𝙻𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙴

🍓 What is something you and the mun disagree on? ━━ "Unfortunately the list would be much shorter if it was what we do agree on; my writer lacks quite a bit of common sense when it comes to dealing with people. Perhaps that is our deepest disagreement. Ultimately humans are whatever is most useful for the current frame; animals fueled by chemical reactions, a node in a network, an opportunity, or on rare occasions: a friend. However … regardless of their usage, learning what makes people "tick" is truly one of my favorite past times. I map people out: what triggers which emotional responses and what thoughts will come to them next. Over time and through careful watching I learn of their wounds and weaknesses, whatever strength they may have, their wants, desires, needs, likes, dislikes, their hopes, history, and habitual patterns. I leave no stone unturned, as all information is useful one way or another. People are naturally untrustworthy and as such I will know them better than they know themselves, especially their potential and their darkest aspects. After all, the better I know who I'm speaking with, the more the playing field is in my favor - even if they're only around to push an agenda or offer favors under the guise of friendship. It’s quite a riveting game of sorts, although most people, once the trivial and droll is sliced away, amount to nothing at all and can easily be removed from my life." There's a pause Robin delicately readjusts in his seat, his movements deliberate and unhurried. With a sense of quiet concentration, he brings his hands closer to his face, inspecting each nail with meticulous attention. Once satisfied they return to politely resting upon his lap, "But, oh, when those special flicks of light pass through the murk - I cannot get enough of them. These are the only people that will hold my attention for extended periods of time, and those are the ones - while I still research them - that I do hold dear to me. And it's ever more fun when people join me in my game, I prefer those who can keep up with me. Intelligence is a very attractive trait to me, and I do not enjoy wallowing about in the stupidity of so many. It isn't as though I'm incapable of human connection … it's just that most people are boring and think the same way as the rest of the rabble. I will put my entire effort, and heart, into the people that can capture and hold my interest; such finds are rare and I am no fool to toss them so swiftly. It is simply not worth the effort or time if I have no intention of furthering the relationship outside of a transactional or professional environment. I reserve my social graces for those who'll be around long enough to enjoy them." He clicks his tongue, "My writer, however, is a different story entirely; everyone is worth their time and everyone is "complex" person with feelings that matter. Hmph, I can only imagine why they're burnt out so often. It would do them well to readjust their manner of thinking; so much unncessary worry over those who don't matter, and useless things that will come to pass. They build their own anxieties through this - it is a shame they waste their talents. They have it in their mind that people are naturally good, that humanity is built and sustained through bonds of fellowship and love. I do not agree with this sentiment, it makes one vulnerable and leaves too many weak points for someone to stab into." His lips curl up into a smile, but there's an unsettling nature about the way his eyes remain cold and distant - and his cheeks do not lift his bottom lashes, "I do wonder which you fall under though; an important individual or just another cog. Hm, I suppose only time will tell me that answer, unless you'd prefer to prove it to me, of course." … "On a much lighter note; I also cannot stand dogs, and my writer has a sweet little corgi that is their entire world. If that sort of answer is more privy to your liking."

[beauteags]

TalkHack: Unleash your Communication Power.

As we all know, communication is the process of sharing and exchanging ideas and information between sender and receiver in order to establish understanding. To ensure effective communication, both parties must be active listeners to avoid possible conflicts, build trust, and make better life decisions.

I've learned that communication isn't as simple as asking a Yes-or-No question, where the sender receives only one answer without the recipient elaborating on their response. Communication involves analyzing its various aspects to achieve understanding, including verbal and nonverbal communication, listening skills, interpersonal dynamics, cultural variations, and the influence of technology on communication. It is also important to understand the various models and theories of communication, such as the Shannon-Weaver model, transactional model, and social penetration theory, which provide frameworks for understanding how communication functions. Additionally, understanding communication barriers and how to overcome them is essential for effective communication in a variety of contexts and circumstances.

In light of this, I've slowly discovered ways or tips to make speaking easier, at least for me.

First, I give myself time to analyze and plan what I'm going to say, as well as time to practice my confidence.

Second, I practice various techniques before speaking, such as breathing and tongue exercises, and practicing my smile.

For someone who stutters a lot when speaking in front, a lot of practice is needed to deliver information without stuttering, as it could be one of the communication barriers. If not delivered properly, the audience may misunderstand and interpret it differently.

Third, after knowing the type of audience I'm going to address, engaging with them is crucial. I think of ways to make the audience interested and engaged with me.

Fourth, I also practice body language, as it's part of non-verbal communication. Facial expressions, unnecessary movements, posture, and focus need attention, as recipients observe these when you're speaking. With multiple recipients, they may have different interpretations, so one wrong move could lead to varying understandings.

Fifth, if you get nervous easily like me, it's best to hold your hands tightly to put pressure on them, as you can't hold random things or other parts of your body when speaking. Just hold your hands, either intertwined and placed on your abdomen or at your back to hide shaky hands. Also, it's okay to pause; it gives the audience time to digest what you've said.

Lastly, their feedback is essential for improvement. Alternatively, watching others' speeches online can provide tips for good speaking skills, which I do when practicing my speech or speaking skills.

In conclusion, these tips are based on my experience to help me speak effectively. While everyone's methods may differ, you can consider the mentioned tips to see if they work for you. Remember, communication doesn't solely rely on speaking; it also requires active listening, considerable effort, comprehension, and meaningful interaction.

So, are you picking up on the vibes between the lines?

[alexseanchai]

In what manner(s) and to what extents are this culture's people's vision typically restricted? And the people whose jobs it is to maintain, upgrade, and replace infrastructure—or rather, the people in charge of what projects get money and labor hours budgeted for same—under what pressures and to what extents do they care?

Because like, mostly the only people who don't find airplane seats unpleasantly confining either are children (and these are not supposed to be child-sized seats) or have paid enough extra for bigger and more widely spaced seats that it's worth it to the airline to have fewer seats per square meter in that section of the plane. Please observe that dimensions like leg length and hip width where x y z for those dimensions are such that x < 95% of people over 18 (and many younger) < y and also 99.9% of everybody ≤ z, the global trends over centuries haven't exactly been for the values of x y z to shrink. Nor has knowing general nutritional needs and how those relate to the said changes in x y z over time resulted in making sure those needs are met, or even meetable, given how much more time effort and money it costs Americans to eat enough of all important micronutrients or to avoid eating high-fructose corn syrup. (Sucks to have a corn allergy. Sucks a lot more on minimum wage. The goodwill the Black Panthers were getting by feeding children free breakfast before school sure did result in the US federal government deciding diverting that goodwill to the federal government was worth the financial cost of free or reduced-price school breakfast and lunch to children from sufficiently low-income households, though.) Please also observe that we've known the intended service life of our highways and bridges mostly since putting each bit of it into service in the first place, we've been complaining about insufficient maintenance the entire time, and it still regularly surprises us when bridges collapse and then it turns out to be more expensive to replace it than it would have been to maintain it.

So everything in the OP sounds like a utopia.

Important to think about for "must envision a better future in order to draw blueprints for building it" reasons, of course. And it's not like novelists and animation studios need to know the floor plans of buildings that are only ever mentioned in passing or drawn in the background, or to care about what those buildings are made of or used for past how such details about setting impact character and plot. I would love to have many stories in all genres and mediums where the setting is much closer to as described in the OP, to point to as a blueprint for the future. Indeed—with the exceptions of the lack of visually-focused art; the likely rarity of anything recording information in a format (such as paper books) that is all three of permanent unless damaged, intended to be legible to anyone who knows the language without needing specialized equipment such as a phonograph or a changeable display, and compact; and the idea of getting rid of ways to do expensive-to-trace or intermediary-free financial transactions, on the grounds that making cash disability-accessible is more effort for less return than using credit, debit, or digital balance for all transactions—I would love to live in the setting OP describes, full stop.

But drawing the blueprints doesn't always get the architecture built, and there's a key pragmatic logistics difference between "building a castle on a mountain" and "building a castle in the air".

.

Also! Are we talking a culture or subculture with super high congenital incidence of vision disabilities, but every generation has some migrants from, and some fully visually abled people of whom at least some get partly or fully absorbed by, the surrounding predominantly-abled culture(s), in the manner of Martha's Vineyard?

Or has some disaster struck to disable the entire (relevant) population, and enough time has passed that the idea of most everyone—or indeed anyone? or possibly anyone born within the affected area, or belonging to the-slash-an... "ethnicity" is possibly the wrong word? "indigenous to the area" is definitely the wrong phrase, since if such a disaster struck pretty much anywhere between the Rio Grande and the Canadian subarctic that's densely enough populated that the survivors' descendants can form a (sub)culture, then the vast majority of affected people would not be indigenous to the area—being [our understanding of] fully visually abled is as ludicrously absurd and difficult to imagine an idea to them as the idea of most everyone in medieval Europe being Catholic or trusting the sciences of alchemy and astrology is to us?

Or is this a nonhuman species whose sensory organs most closely analogous to human eyes pick up a different section of the electromagnetic spectrum, such that their experience of what our eyes pick up requires external aids analogous to our infrared goggles or false-color images from ultraviolet cameras or X-ray telescopes? Or who have a concept of sensing at a distance via unspecified mechanism, but little to no proof it works that stands up to the scientific method, and/or very few people who are both taking the idea seriously being taken seriously? Especially if there's a much more widespread pop-culture misunderstanding of the idea that the said very few people are sick of explaining the differences. (Note that the idea that light waves can carry information in the manner of sound waves—or can do so without needing some transmission medium like sound waves need air or metal, however necessary it might be to have such a medium in order to transmit complex messages accurately, and/or without needing equipment in order to collect the information light waves carry, never mind to preserve that information or to encode and decode even very simple messages—might itself be taken as part of the pop-culture understanding of the concept of vision.) Which isn't so much analogous to our concepts and understanding of extrasensory perception and the paranormal as it is straight up fitting our definitions of those terms, with vision here analogous to telepathy or precognition or any other extra sense that at least one of (1) someone trying to make New Age sound cutting-edge science has described as working via quantum and/or gravitational vibrations (2) someone trying to make cutting-edge astro- and/or quantum physics understandable to pop-science readers has compare/contrasted the idea (or its pop-culture misunderstanding) to the concept they're trying to explain.

How do you think infrastructure would be different in a culture where everyone is blind?

Hi anon! I like this question. I think it would obviously depend on the culture and time period, but I have a few ideas. I’ll just try to write ideas for a general Western culture, because I am aware of more of that, but obviously the culture itself would influence what changes occurred or did not occur.

Education.

Look to blind schools! I’m thinking about training for Braille as very small children, which mostly includes strengthening finger sensitivity. Braille would also be taught the way reading regular print is, either in schools or at home. Regular print would probably also be available and large print would be normalized, especially to minimize eye strain. Computer literacy would include screen-readers and Braille displays. Websites would be designed for accessibility for everyone and this would include large for those who like to read some print.

In classes, people would use a slate and stylus, Braille notetakers, etc, depending on time and what was easier to carry. Braillers would also be more high tech in general, even if it might be considered old school, or the high tech stuff would have come sooner for each device.

Braille, O&M, and life skills classes would be normal for everyone. O&M would probably be done mostly by people with some sight, although this might change if everyone is blind anyway.

Lifestyle.

Things like telescopes (monoculars, minifiers) would be normal for low vision people, maybe even something cool like ‘oh I got the latest telescope model for my birthday!” It would be something shared with friends for fun. Something like SunuBand would be like, I don’t know, a car of something. People would show status through how cool their cane was, if they had a Sonar cane, like WeWalk, etc.

In schools, and in life, I think people with some sight, like me, would not face any pressure to use it. In real life, people with residual sight are expected to use what sight they can, even if it is inconvenient or painful.

More emphasis would be places on other sense, such as touch, smell, and soatial awareness.

Safety.

The world would probably be safer, structurally. There would be high contrast stairs everywhere, if there are stairs at all. There would be more in place that makes it safer to walk around outside, such as, idk, less of a risk of hurt yourself by stepping off a curb? I’m not even sure if roads would be designed the way they are now. Would people drive if they have some vision? Would everyone have cars that don’t need vision? Anyway, more safety with blind people in mind.

Transportation.

Transportation would be better. Maybe public transportation would be more accessible, easier to navigate, and more readily available in rural areas. Maybe trains would be more popular in every country, because they run on a schedule and you can carry more people for longer periods of time. Trains can also allow people to travel long distances, which can be harder for blind people (who almost always can’t drive, as far as I know) who can’t drive cars and may not have money for flights, or want to avoid them for environmental reasons.

Accessibility.

Braille would be everywhere. Buttons would be tactile, especially on kitchen appliances. I imagine a lot of the tools blind people use in the kitchen, such as bump dots for microwave buttons, would already be standard. Talking or otherwise accessible things would be cheaper, more common, and considered staples for everyone. Because they would be made for the wider population of blind people, accessibility would not be a niche or extra thing. It would not be associated with kindness, but a standard fare.

Clothing would be different. Designs would be tactile and/or high contrast, where they are often flat. I think colors would still be important, for everyone, but the tags would probably have labels. Some brand designed for blind people have actual Braille fabric on the clothes, which is cool. While color scanners do exist and would probably be used, I think other methods would be utilized if clothing is designed with blind people in mind from the start. Wearing glasses would be cool, you guys.

In terms of entertainment, I think most of it would audio-based or interactive. The radio and live theatre would be more popular than they are now. If visual mediums still existed, they would all come with audio descriptions and they would be better than they sometimes are now. TV would be written with audio descriptions in mind, if they didn’t talk about more of what they were doing.

Art would be tactile, period. Maybe we would have something by now that allows you to feel digital art. There are already amazing forms of tactil art out there, so think more of that from all cultures. Rather than adapted or described with the blind in mind, art would be naturally tactile even if the artist could see what they were creating well enough.

Online.

Obviously image descriptions would be everywhere, although I feel people would naturally include less screen-shots and less pictures. Again, accessibility would be a more mainstream thing than it is now. I’m thinking there would be more self-care posts, such as about dealing with eye strain headaches. Although I think some of the issues we have would be lessened when the entirety of humanity was on the blind spectrum. I’m also thinking about fun quizzes like, Describe Your Dream Home and I’ll Guess What Type Blindness You Have. Debates about disability in general would happen in regular spaces. YouTube would have contained audio descriptions from the start, and perhaps highly visual content would be less common or naturally described in the video, such as person describing what they are holding before talking about it.

Work/Career.

Productivity would be measure differently. Accessibility would just be a thing. Like, at a meeting, “What tools do you like to use the most?” Working from home would be an option. Work would be open to and even designed for blind people. Blind people wouldn’t have the low employments rates they do now, or else no one would work. A lot of tools we use to make things accessible wouldn’t be necessary if things were designed for blind people in the first place. Subminimum wage would not be a thing.

There would probably be jobs and career opportunities that don’t exist now.

Blind people wouldn’t be more likely or even expected to live in poverty.

Money.

Money would be tactile, labeled, large print, and high contrast. If we still used cash at all.

Inovation.

I think we would have a lot of cool stuff. Countries might even compete to be the first to create things for the blind population which, again, would be everyone in this scenario.

Food/menus.

Restaurants would be easy for blind people to navigate. Menus would be offered in Braille and large print. Maybe plates would be made sectioned so people could know where their food was. I’m thinking about blind accessibility videos and restaurants run by totally blind people. Hmm. Glasses would not be as common at all, because they can be hard for people to see. I have broken too many glasses myself.

If people were to buy food, such as local produce, bags would probably come with homemade Braille or large print signs. Canned food and boxes for cooking would have Braille on them initially. Giving food to others, such as bringing food or snacks for the home when you visit, would come with either an explanation about what it was or a label.

I could go on. I don’t want this too be too long. Basically, what I want to get across is that a lot more than accessibility would changes if everyone is blind. I didn’t want to get into too many heavy topics because this is more of a fun question. However. feel free to add whatever you like. I believe history itself would be altered in many, many ways that have influence on life today, so I could have gone on about that. I could write books on the lifestyle and safety and work sections. And all cultures have their own ways of viewing, supporting, and limiting blind people, so this could change a little or a lot depending on what your culture or the culture you are writing about is like.

-BlindBeta

[secondfuckingguessing]

Not April's fool

I feel like so much has changed recently. I feel so different. It's easier to let go. Easier to choose what to focus on. Now the halo effect of last week's concert is gone, but I still feel fine. Not all is lost. Not everyone turned into a drag. Not every friend turned out weird. I had to give up everyone I felt was part of my identity. And yes, I was fun. I wasn't always hurt or had to be judgemental. I have it in me.

Things that used to consume all my thoughts and provoke visceral reactions don't hold as much power over me now. I know better than to let myself go without trying to stop it. It never led me anywhere good anyway. I lost some weight. I'm more accepting of my reality, my flaws and my mistakes. They happened. I've dealt with people who hurt me and that impacted my life a lot over the last decade. Yes. That also made me grow a lot and I'm finally reaching a point where the growth is greater than the resentment. I don't miss those people anymore. I let go of ana quite peacefully, my last strand of thinking i couldn't afford to lose the few friends I had (even though I didn't even identify with them that much anymore). Quite honestly, it didn't change much in my life. It turns out I was putting in all the effort once more. She might not be doing it on purpose,but still. It has been going on for far too long. I was completely shut off from her life. It's quite clear now she's on her trip I knew nothing about. I was silly to think it was my duty to keep the whole thing going while she healed or whatever. She's doing that through other people. I was feeling let down much more often than happy about the relationship. I felt sensitive and judgy and I honestly thought there's something wrong with me. I can't like my friends. I can't accept the way real relationships work. I'm delusional and I should care less. Maybe I'm finally learning what reciprocity means. Bia showed me that. Even though we hadn't seen each other in probably 10 years, it felt more natural than with people I thought I was close with. Am I resenting ana right now? No. But I don't exactly miss her right now either. Our good times, of genuine fun have not been recent. It was becoming this heavy weird friendship with lots of things unsaid and a lack of will to really show up to the friendship. Getting older sucks when you groe in different directions. At least I am growing, i can't say what she's interested in besides pokemon. She seems a bit too passive for my liking.

I'm letting go even of the illusion of f. I'd like to have what we had. I feel more openness in me to live that, but it's not about him. He never made me feel special. He never seemed too committed. He was just going with the flow. I know i have so much to give to someone who shows he really wants to be there, here with me. I just never felt that from him. I'm starting to think he's with someone new. I'm not sure why. If that's the case, I know I'm never seeing him again. He won't make the slightest effort to and it's not like he was even before. I'm not sure I care anymore. I truly feel I deserve better. It's his loss, honestly. I'm not that invested into chasing him just to make things right inside. If he's that big of a loser, I'll let him be.

Also, giovana. I'm not that pisssed, I'm not that hurt. She is kinda phony. She's kind of too invested in her own image, her persona. That's kinda lame, doesn't matter how many international travels she does a year. That's lack of character. Even when she thinks she's saying the right things, it feels empty. She's pretending to be this, but really she's investing in what she feels brings her more value. It's transactional in the end. I don't admire this kind of behavior, she can go fuck herself. It's good to see I'm not that hurt anymore. It's not about me being rejected anymore. These people around me really are more than what i thought previously. I don't exactly like this other side of them. Genuinely. I wouldn't choose them based on that. Julia feels childish in a way. She's deluded by parties and going after what she wants like the world is opening up to her more than 10 years later. Even after I talked to her she refuses to see anyone else than her. Funny that the only person she gave herself to was her ex, and it wasn't a great dynamic either. I wish her luck on her maturing.

I feel less lonely, even though not much has changed. I feel kike bia is someone I could on if I needed. Not exactly a shoulder to cry on, but on practical things. Like if i needed company to get a dress. I don't know why that's the thought that popped into my head. I don't want to be this heavy person always hurt and complaining. I can deal with my own sorrows. I do feel different and I hope it stays and expands and turns into something even greater and more beautiful. I feel less insecure. I feel better. Healing rocks and I'm glad to know there are good people still around, even for me.

I hope this leads me great places and that I bump into good people.

[ailelie]

Forgiveness, I think, is a human thing.

I'm Christian, sure, but I believe in radical grace, in a heaven that's opt-out rather than opt-in and sin isn't an automatic no. I believe in a God who accepts and honors mistakes, who gives infinite chances, who doesn't care about human boundaries or bigotries. Forgiveness is such a default state in my mental conception of God that it is meaningless on a divine level. All are forgiven. Moving on.

Humans, though, we need forgiveness, not to be righteous, not because it is the right thing to do, but because holding onto hurt hurts. And forgiveness doesn't mean starting over or letting someone back into your life or any kind of reconciliation. To me, forgiveness just means letting go, it means saying 'I'm not letting this matter to or hurt me anymore.' I like the definition 'to cancel a debt.'

Debts are weird. They create a connection between people, but that connection is full of fear, shame, avoidance, frustration, and pain. When you forgive someone, you cancel that debt and cut that tie. They no longer owe you apologies. They no longer get to hurt you.

(God has canceled all debts, but did so in the interest that those debts did not create a barrier between us and Them, to remove the bad feelings that create distance, to make us free to follow or walk away).

So, when I say that I think everyone can be forgiven, what I am saying is that I think anyone and any action can be let go of. I am not saying that I think forgiveness creates redemption.

I prefer the more transactional definition of redemption as well--regaining something in exchange for something else or clearing a debt. On a divine level, I like to think God basically traded Jesus in so that we might regain a way into Heaven, whether or not we decide to walk it.

On a human level, though, I cannot read hearts. I cannot see the far future. I cannot erase pain and hurt. I cannot redeem someone. Only they can do that. I like the transactional definition of redemption because it removes the heroism of 'saving.' Saving implies a single Grand Gesture that Makes It All Better.

Instead, I think of redemption as making frequent, regular payments to restore one's reputation and regain the trust and even admiration of others. It is not a Grand Gesture or laying low hoping people forget the debt. It is owning up to the pain you caused and taking constant, regular actions to counter it. And it is doing that knowing that some people will be more hurt than others and will need a greater payment over a longer period of time before they agree to trust or speak well of you again.

Redemption requires regular action. One of those actions can be a Grand Gesture, but you have to keep acting afterward.

I do think anyone can earn redemption on a human level, but it will cost them time, money, effort, and ego to do so.

tl;dr--Forgiveness is about me not you. Forgiveness means we're no longer connected and your past actions no longer get to hurt me. Forgiveness is not reconciliation and it is not redemption. Redemption is a you thing. You put in the time, money, effort, and ego, you do the work without demanding anything from me, and I'll let you know when you've regained the opinion and trust you lost from me.

[danielleverboski1a]

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[twistedmusings]

A/N: Planning to post some finished requests tonight thankfully but I wanted to share something super self indulgent with you guys since I just recently got an Alexa! I'm still kind of in a funk (since classes are STILL not over with) so thank you everyone for your kind words in my inbox q wq For now I only have Riddle and Leona...but if everyone likes it I'll make an effort to finish! I kinda am working on Azul's as we speak >:3 Warnings: Boys missing you terribly, Riddle justifying the breaking of rules and Leona realizing that he is talking to an inanimate object.

The Ramshackle Prefect leaves to go to RSA for a month, following a lead that could get them back home. And while the dorm leaders do miss them terribly, it seems one of them is hiding something.

. .

“AZUL-SHI DO SOMETHING.”

The Octavinelle dorm leader barely listened to his friend's request as he also crowded over Idia’s phone, the other five dorm leaders looking down at the screen as a pair of familiar eyes stared back at them.

“Where is Idia? Can you please hand me back to him?”

Riddle blinked at the sprite on the screen before looking back at Idia with a frown.

“Explain yourself, Shroud.”

Idia whimpered as he hung his head low in shame.

“[Y/N]-san...I mean...the Prefect left to go to RSA for a whole month, right? Crowley said it was to help them find a way back home but apparently there was some trouble there too and...and he brought them to fix it...”

Malleus’s neutral expression changes into something a bit sadder while Kalim lets out what everybody was thinking.

“To take them away so suddenly...I didn’t even get a chance to give them a goodbye party!”

“They’re only away for a month, Kalim.” Vil’s eyes stay on Idia’s phone screen.

“But I’m sure a party would have let them know how much I would miss them!”

Riddle clears his throat, “That still doesn’t explain anything about what I am seeing. Why in the world do you have something that looks like...that looks so much like them on your phone!”

Idia was sure this was hell. Of all the people to catch him using his phone during a dorm leader meeting, why did it have to be Riddle? What was he even supposed to answer to that question! That he missed talking to [Y/N]-san about the new animes that were releasing this week that he had purposefully made an AI from data Ortho had collected on them and their mannerisms?

He would rather die!

“I--I was testing a new AI! Just...for schedules and stuff like that! And I didn’t have anything else to base it on so I just took [Y/N]-san’s information and made a prototype! It’s not just going to go out to the public like that! They can customize it however they like--!”

Azul hums as he taps the screen, the sprite giggling as he touches their cheek before looking up at all of them expectantly.

“...A prototype, huh.” he smiles and leans back while taking his phone out, “Everybody stop crowding around him, we might as well be breaking his arm slowly at this point.”

The rest of the dorm leader's move back with only some protest, Idia’s eyes shining as he looks up at his other friend.

“Azul-shi…”

The dorm leader of Octavinelle grins, “If it’s a prototype then that means it needs users, correct? More people to test it out?”

“Eh?”

Azul puts his phone in front of Idia and smiles at him like he was just about to close a rather important business transaction.

“Well then I want the prototype as well. Download it to my phone, will you?”

“Eh?!”

Idia presses his phone to his chest as if Azul was about to take it, looking around nervously as the other dorm leaders take their phones out and set it in front of him.

“If it’s an application for scheduling then I could use it to keep Heartslabyul’s matters in check. I’ll take one too.”

“Ruggie is gonna be busy during exams...this thing better work as an alarm.”

“Surely this would help me keep track of my schedule for both the Monstro Lounge and school. I’ll take one with a statistics program built in, Idia”

“Oh!! I want mine to be able to sing! And can I also get them in Scarabia’s dorm uniform? I want to see what [Y/N]-san would look like!’

“I’ll take that as well. I also want a photo re-touch feature as well as one hour updates as to what is going on in my Magicam account.”

Each phone was placed in front of him as Idia felt his head start to spin. He just wanted to keep this thing a secret only for himself! He wasn’t even planning to release it, it was all just a lie so they wouldn’t know his greatest shame!

A shadow was casted over him, Idia looking up slowly as Malleus smiled and placed his phone down.

“I am eager to see your finished product, Shroud.”

The tarts in front of him looked absolutely delicious.

Trey had really outdone himself this time. The strawberries were cut into perfectly neat shapes and the glaze over them made them so mouth wateringly shiny that he could practically taste the sweet treat without even having to taste it!

Which only made his want of one grow even more.

“And here comes the next batch.” Trey smiles as he puts down another plate in front of him, Riddle’s eyes now staring at that plate while his vice dorm leader cleans himself up.

“When did you say the Unbirthday party was going to be today?”

“A-At three o’clock sharp.”

Trey nods as he looks at the clock in the kitchen.

“Perfect. I promised to meet Jade to get some herbs he has been growing as well as letting him teach me how to make this one soup they had in the Monstro Lounge about a week ago.”

He grabs his phone and heads out, leaving Riddle with a quick goodbye and a promise that he would make it back as quick as possible.

Leaving him all alone with two plates filled with his favourite treat.

The dorm leader looks around once...then twice...checking if anybody was coming into the kitchen before going back to stare at the plates.

It wasn’t like he was going to grab one

The Unbirthday party today would be using pastries that Trey had made yesterday. It was the third of the month so the rules required a completely different pastry. The strawberry tarts were most likely for tomorrow.

So Riddle could wait. He was the Heartslabyul dorm leader after all so not only could he wait but he was required to wait! As the dorm leader he was to set an example and he couldn’t let himself be seduced so easily by just two plates of such yummy looking tarts--!

He quickly takes his phone out and looks down at the screen, face flushing as he tries to remember how Idia told him to open up the new app.

“[Y/N]-san…?”

A face peeks out from the corner of his phone, smiling as it recognizes his face and steps out while giving him a polite bow.

“Good morning, Riddle-san! What can I help you with?”

He can’t help a small rush of excitement at seeing the Prefect’s face after not seeing them for two weeks. Riddle would make an effort to stop and talk to them whenever they made their way to Heartslabyul that not seeing them for so long had almost thrown him off his schedule.

And...he missed the conversations he had with them.

As the dorm leader and a student in NRC he didn’t necessarily have time to go to any other events or take part in any of the shenanigans others would get up to, not that he necessarily wanted to, but it was entertaining when the Prefect talked about it with him.

It felt like they were letting him into their world.

So maybe this substitute would suffice...it was a scheduling app after all so it wasn’t like he was using it for pleasure only.

“Would you please repeat rule 56 of the Queen’s handbook?”

The AI clears their throat as a book animation appears before them.

“Rule number 56: On the third of April, black tea should be served along with pineapple tarts. Followed by a game of cards in which the loser must pour the Queen tea for the rest of the Unbirthday party.”

Riddle sighs as he looks back at the plate of tarts.

“...I guess I’ll wait until tomorrow…”

“Wait until what?”

He looks down at the AI, the sprite blinking in confusion as it waits for an answer. Idia had mentioned adding a conversational feature…

“There is no rule about what to eat tomorrow so I decided that we would have strawberry tarts.”

“Are those your favourite?”

Riddle nods and steps out of the kitchen, making his way to his room as he stared back at the open door.

“They are. Ever since I was little. I couldn’t have many because of--”

He decides to not go deep into the subject.

“I’m sure Trey’s pineapple tarts will be excellent. I will just have to wait until tomorrow to enjoy the strawberry ones.”

The AI hums before the book animation pops up again, looking down and flipping a couple of pages before speaking up.

“Riddle-san. While it does say that black tea should be served with pineapple tarts...it does state that it should be done for the Unbirthday party and the Unbirthday party only.”

He frowns, “Your point?”

“I am sure no rule would be broken if only the Queen has a tea party before the Unbirthday party. From what I am seeing here--”

They flip a couple more pages.

“There is no rule about a tea party of one enjoying a strawberry tart.”

Riddle blinks before looking down at his phone, the sprite smiling as they shut the small book and lets it disappear with a ‘poof.’

No rule would be broken...if it was only a tea part of one?

He looks down at the AI when he hears them giggle.

“Riddle-san looks really happy.”

A blush covers his face at being called out on how big his smile probably was.

“Did I help in any way?”

The dorm leader takes a deep breath before smiling as he looks down at the phone and presses his fingertip on top of their head, rubbing it back and forth as if they were petting them. Something he knew he could never really do with them in real life lest he was looking to get odd looks.

“More than enough. Would you like to accompany me during this tea party?”

“Yes please!”

Riddle nods before looking around once more and clearing his throat.

“And...would you refer to me as ‘dorm leader’ from now on?”

The sprite nods as they give him a polite bow.

“Yes, dorm leader!”

He would need to send his report of the app as quickly as possible, Idia had really outdone himself this time...maybe he could ask if he could get them dressed up in the Heartslabyul uniform?

Riddle still wished you would hurry back.

“Leona-san! Please wake up!”

The blankets on the bed wriggled a bit as the phone was tousled over from one side of the bed to the other, the sprite inside frowning as they tried again.

“Leona-san! Please wake up! Ruggie-san texted you!”

A hand comes out of the blankets before holding the phone up.

“Read the text out loud then.”

Sighing, the AI pulls the text up and reads out loud.

“Please be awake by the time I get there, Leona. I need to make sure I get your signature on these papers for the dorm budget. If you don’t I’ll hold your lunch captive!”

Leona’s face finally pops up from under the blanket, the man sitting up and running a hand through his hair as he speaks up again.

‘Oi. What time is it?”

“It is 3:14 in the afternoon, Leona-san.”

“And when did Ruggie send the text?”

“At 3:00 o'clock.”

He groans and lays back down, the pillows flying about as he holds the phone to his face and smiling when he sees the sprite looking down at him worriedly.

“You really do look like them…” Leona whispers before tapping the screen so that he is poking the sprite’s cheek, “What is that face for?”

“I’m just worried for you, Leona-san. Too much sleep is a symptom of some sicknesses so--”

“Hah? You think I would get sick so easily?” he yawns and stretches, “I’m different from humans. Beastmen need a lot more sleep than regular humans do so...I’m just doing what my body tells me.”

Green eyes watch a notepad appear before the AI as they write down the information, smiling as they close it up and watch it disappear.

“I’ll keep that information in mind so I can serve Leona-san better. Thank you so much.”

Leona blinks at the words before a lazy smile crosses his face.

“Serve me better, huh? Never thought I would hear you say that.”

Usually the herbivore would be frowning and telling him to get up and actually take charge of his dorm and how he didn’t act like any grown up they knew. The sprite, however, tilts their head in confusion before speaking up once again.

“I am yours, after all.”

“Damn right you are.”

He looked at the phone a bit more, the sprite smiling up at him as he poked their cheek or patted their head. A part of him wondered if you would react like that with him as well. You always seemed so annoyed with his antics yet you never failed to come back to talk to him, telling him how he needs to get his act together if he is ever planning to go back to the Afterglow.

Leona would bet money that if he patted your head out of nowhere you would be highly flustered. Getting praise from him was something that didn’t happen often, after all.

“What day is it?”

“The 12th day of April, Leona-san.”

Another two weeks of you being gone. He frowns and closes his eyes as he thinks about you meeting those other students. RSA was just full of idiots...like his brother--

“Dammit.”

He slams the phone down but blinks when he hears a small yelp, turning the phone back around to find the AI looking rather frazzled with their eyes closed and hair all over the place.

“Shit. Are you....okay?”

Great, he was asking an application if it was okay. He could understand why Idia would hide this, right now he felt like he was crazy.

“Y--Yes! It was just unexpected!”

The sprite fixed itself up quickly and smiled back at Leona.

“Are you okay though, Leona-san?”

The dorm leader chuckled and nodded as they set the phone down gently and laid down next to it. At least that part was very much like you, worrying about others before focusing on yourself.

“You’re not going to complain? I almost just threw you.”

Without missing a beat, the AI stands up and looks at him.

“Leona-san is still working hard despite his body telling him to sleep. My program tells me that it would be a natural emotion to feel frustrated if you are not allowed to do something you want. Normal actions of frustration speak of physical manifestations such as kicking, punching or throwing. I was simply calculating it for it to be the latter and for it to happen towards a pillow. I’ll make sure to fix my calculations next time.”

He shakes his head and sets the phone down gently.

“Weird thing. You shouldn’t forgive someone so easily after they wronged you.”

“But you didn’t wrong me, Leona-san. I didn’t feel any pain. I just want to make sure you are feeling your best! You are my number one priority!”

This machine is going to make him go insane, he knows you would never say that but the fact that Idia had gotten your voice down so well that it was almost as if you had just told him he was your number one---

He was already getting a headache.

“Set an alarm for an hour. Ruggie will take around that long anyway.” Leona lays down and wraps the blankets around him.

“Of course. Alarm set for one hour. Would you like to be woken up with a personalized message?”

Leona hummed before grinning.

“Wake me up by calling me ‘King’.”

The sprite fixes its settings before giving a polite bow.

“Yes, my King. Please enjoy your rest.”

After this he would send his report to Shroud and maybe ask for an outfit upgrade. He only needed to show him some Afterglow clothes and the nerd would probably be able to make the AI wear them, right?

Whatever, the moment you came back Leona would make sure that you gave him some headpats for making him wait so long.

[sexyglances]

How Hyejin and Dusik Provide Gifts of Care and How They Receive Gifts of Care

Thinking about how Hyejin and Dusik approached receiving healing gifts from each other, and once again, I am struck that despite Dusik being introduced and presented the one with all the right answers and perfectly open and friendly with most people, he is slowly being shown as the one that is actually much more closed off than Hyejin is. He is comfortable only giving to other people, but has so much trouble receiving anything in return. Whereas while Hyejin has some hesitancy as well, she genuinely does both much more easily than she is given credit for. The medicine they gave each other is a great example of this, both in how they receive the gifts and how they give the gifts.

Notice how Hyejin receives the Acanthopanax - she accepts the gift, tries to invite Dusik into her home as she received it, but he refuses (because he feels like an awkward third wheel, even though she was not trying to make him feel that way), and then afterward she immediately looks up the how to use it and brews herself a cup of tea, drinking it through its bitterness. She did this despite not knowing how much effort he put into preparing that for her, only knowing that he had it "to spare."

Contrast that with Dusik, who is actually both wounded and sick in a way that requires immediate attention (as opposed to Hyejin's long-term ailment), and yet when Hyejin showed up with first aid, he did not want to accept it or let her in, preferring to suffer alone and untended. She had to insist on 'invading' his home, stating, "it's sad when you're sick alone. Everyone knows that, why don't you," before he acquiesced. She had to directly spotlight his isolation before he allowed her in.

And then even after she went inside, he was begrudging about accepting her help. It was only after her insistence that was backed up with the incontrovertible facts that he had both a temperature and a wound that he finally accepted what she was giving him. And then still, he had to undergo an arduous evolution of attitude from a crumudgeonly reluctance of accepting her care to truly embracing it. He did this first with the antiseptic that he objected to because it stings, but then after she administered it and he got over the initial pain, he watched her with an enchanted look on his face as she was blowing on it to make it dry. This was her care in action and he was mesmerized by it. Mesmerized by how it felt to be taken care of. Taken care of without her expecting anything in return. There was nothing transactional about her doing this for him.

And, it should be pointed out, this is indicative of most of her care acts, even with other people. As in, she doesn't require emotional or monetary compensation before she does something, relying instead on her morals to guide her. She does this when standing up for the mother of her neighbor at the beginning of the series against price gouging, and again with the neighborhood lady when Hyejin wouldn't let the police officer victim blame her for the voice phishing scam. When she does ask for money, it's used as a deflection tactic to disguise how caring she is being, like with Gamri's and Juri's dental procedures she gives a deep discount on. The money was a secondary motivation to helping them. Dusik also uses money or a tit-for-tat transaction in his acts of service and care, though he tends to ask for compensation up front rather than as a deflection tactic afterward. His acts of service often come with a premeditated defense mechanism attached. Though interestingly, the Acanthopanax he gave Hyejin didn't come with a price, and instead he pretended as if it was a trivial gift of spare product, negating his actual effort involved and using a pretense of nonchalance instead.

The way Hyejin approaches providing care and also Dusik's reluctance to accepting said care is illustrated again with the food Hyejin insisted he eat to get over his cold. As is typical with Hyejin's other initial responses to a problem, she wanted to avoid the path that required more effort in a skill that she was less than confident in (in this case, cooking), so initially, she wasn't going to make anything and tried to get delivery food instead. But since the easier route of getting delivery food could not provide an adequate solution for what he needed in the moment, she made the decision to put the effort forth and try and make the porridge herself. This is how she approaches so many interpersonal challenges in her life. She may want to find an easy way out at first, but she always comes around relatively quickly and puts the work in where it's needed.

As for Dusik, his acceptance of help was also indicative of his character. He complained almost the whole time while she made him nourishment, grumbled about how she was clanking and clattering about, ruining the perfect order of everything in its place in his kitchen (this mirrors her disruption in his life and psyche via her arrival in Gongjin as well). But what she provided--a filling bowl of porridge--is exactly what he needed, and he fell asleep amongst her chaos, finding it more comforting and less discordant than he realized. The porridge she made ended up tasting sour and bad, but he ate every bit while smiling, filled with bemusement over its nonconformity to what he was expecting. If he had imagined what comfort would taste like, that wouldn't be it. Yet after he had it, he found a new type of comfort in it. Narratively, this shows how Hyejin brings something completely new and invigorating into Dusik's life.

The porridge may not have been easy to get down and there may be a bit of messiness involved around Hyejin's arrival with the leftover disorder and dishes she left behind, but just because she doesn't fit in effortlessly and perfectly, doesn't mean she isn't welcome. The "medicine" Hyejin offers by being in Dusik's life is not something he welcomes easily into his life, but everything she offers is exactly what he needs to heal and grow, both in the porridge moment and in his life in general. Ultimately, what she provided was soothing to him, even if he did not expect it at first taste. After all, he absolutely felt better after he ate it.

And then he received another reward from inviting her in and sharing his vulnerability with her: he got to enjoy the sweetness from the tangerines she left the next morning, savoring them more than he expected as well. She brings unexpected joy and sweetness into his life, when he didn't even know he wanted it as much as he did.

[thran-duils]

And Those I Can’t Charm, I Can Kill (P.4)

Title: And Those I Can’t Charm, I Can Kill (Part Four) Summary: Fem!Reader x Mafia!Tony Stark. Too many fringe gangs were making ties and your father noticed. He reached out to the Stark mob for an alliance, offering up a piece of his territory at first. When Stark told him he had enough land, your father offered up the next best thing: you. He knew Stark needed a wife and what better way to solidify a relationship between the two mafia families? You were not naïve, you knew the life and you were trained with guns and negotiations. Your father had made sure of that. The two of you had seen each other on multiple occasions at mafia get togethers and knew of each other. Stark accepted the transaction but little did he know he was going to get a little hellion handed over to him that would not kiss the ground he walked on. He would grow to love it too. Words: 3,561 Warnings (more WILL be added, I am sure): Eventual smut, power dynamics, sexism, smut, public sex, fingering, dom/sub powerplay, kidnapping, violence, death, knife kink, gun kink, angst with a happy ending

Part Three || Part Five || Masterpost mobile || Fanfic masterpost

You and Tony had stared at each other – you down at him and him up at you. It had felt good, fucking him. You had surpassed the real intimacy of a relationship – something the two of you had never had – straight to physical. It was how you normally did things, but it had just taken longer this time than a one-night stand.

But this was different. This was your husband.

You had a deeper connection now. You were startled out of your desire for this to be continuous.

And suddenly by your own doing, the two of you were apart, you standing yourself and him sitting, and you brushed at your hair, uncomfortable before turning for your clothes just to try to escape this unfamiliar territory. Normally, you would say something witty, grab your clothes, and leave. But there was no leaving him. You slept in the same bed. Even if that bed itself had not been christened by the two of you yet.

Tony was off the couch and came up to grasp your arms, stopping you and you looked up at him.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

The words fell around you. And your breath was short, working yourself up again. Tony saw it too and his thumbs caressed your arms, peering in closer. It was not threatening the way he was acting – comforting more than anything.

“I’m here… I’m here to be with you,” he started slowly, stumbling though. He was a man after all in the mafia, raised with the toxic masculinity that came with it. He was trying to navigate his feelings and be soft with you as well. “I want you to feel safe with me. In all aspects.”

It was intimate. And it was reassuring to know that he was making the effort to move even deeper with it. It was exciting. But you still wanted to be guarded.

“I’m not afraid of you,” you answered. Your eyes shot down and then you said, thinking on your feet, “We are both just naked in this room… standing in front of each other. I want my clothes. In case someone walks in.”

Tony’s eyes shot down and he gave a strangled laugh. “Right.” He let you go.

You gave a half smile before you ducked down and grabbed your bra, doing it up. Tony followed suit, beginning to dress himself back up. And then you grabbed your dress. You pulled it over your head and turned around promptly, “Zip me?”

The complete opposite of what you had asked merely ten minutes ago.

Tony cleared his throat, “Yeah.”

He zipped it up and his hands rested around the base of your neck. You were only suspended for a few moments before you turned around to face him again, your faces close. His slacks were back on, belt done, but his dress shirt half buttoned up, that drew your eyes for a split second.

“This is awkward,” he acknowledged sheepishly.

“Yeah,” you agreed and then cleared your own throat. “Um, let’s exit separately. That would seem normal to everyone else. Don’t want to shock them and all.”

He was amused, giving a little laugh, “Right. Don’t forget your thong though.”

“And there you go being the ass that I know,” you retorted, going to grab it and shimmying into it as he gave another laugh.

<><><>

You saw Bucky and Rhodey watching you come back out, curiosity painted on their faces. They had seen how angry Tony had been taking you back into the room and now that you were coming out alone, that was sure to draw their attention. Shit. Tony should have walked out first. You looked away quickly walking past their table and going back to where your friends were sitting before they could stop you.

Moving through the center of the group, you sat back down, adjusting your dress but did not miss the white-hot stares you were receiving from your circle of friends. You met their gazes and leveled them before giving an expectant shrug.

“Where did you go?” one of them asked.

“Nowhere,” you answered simply. You picked up one of your bottles on the table and began pouring shots. “Let’s drink.”

Another friend answered with a giggle, “She went somewhere with her husband.”

You glowered, stalling in pouring the shots, and asked, “So?”

“Did you finally give it up then? Because you’re being defensive. Oh, look, here he comes.”

Following their gaze, you saw Tony walking out now. He was being as normal as you, no sign of a smirk on his face. But then he did give it away. His gaze did flick over to you and the two of you locked eyes for a moment before he looked away again.

“You totally did,” your same friend crowed.

“If you don’t shut the hell up, I’m going to kick you out of the VIP section!” you threatened her.

“Touchy, touchy! Fine, I’ll drop it. It’s done. And so is your honeymoon officially!”

“Ass,” you snapped as you passed the shots out.

<><><>

Tony sat down at the booth and straightened out his suit jacket. “Where are the shots?”

“Well, we took them without you because you were gone for so long,” Natasha said with a twinkle in her eye.

“There’s plenty of alcohol in this bar. I should know. Where’s our bar—”

Someone showed up at the table, dress in the staff uniform and asked, “What’ll it be, Mr. Stark?”

“A round for the table. Bourbon.”

Natasha and Bucky protested. “No, vodka, please.”

“Fine, bourbon and vodka. Just bring two bottles, everyone has their glasses already. Blanton’s and Grey Goose.”

The server nodded, “Of course, Mr. Stark.”

As soon as they walked off, Tony looked around the table again. And they all averted their eyes. Sighing annoyed, he asked – even though he had a good idea already what was going on – , “What is it?”

Clint took the dive for everyone else and tried to say as nonchalantly as possible, “You look… not pissed off.”

“And?” he asked with a sharp edge to his voice. “Do I always look pissed off?”

“Yes,” came the chorus around the table and he frowned, displeased.

Unable to help himself, Bucky chortled, “You fucked,” as Rhodey cracked a wide smile at his statement.

“Be respectful,” Tony snapped at them.

Bucky closed his mouth, biting his cheeks as Tony took a long swig of his drink.

“Respectful? You’re the one that’s been complaining she sleeps turned away from you!” Rhodey said, still laughing lightly. “I was frankly getting tired of hearing about it. This is good news for everyone.”

“You’re welcome then,” Tony muttered to everyone’s continued amusement as the server came back with their bottles. He thanked them and took the bottles, beginning to pour everyone their own respective shots.

“To the King and Queen then,” Natasha proposed, holding up her shot glass.

<><><>

A few weeks later, there was commotion at the front door, and you put your book down before sliding out of the recliner you were in. You could hear Tony; he was angry, ranting. You came into the entrance hall cautiously and found him storming up the stairs. He stopped and was shouting still back at Steve, something about making sure that the car was destroyed and far from the city.

He noticed you were standing there suddenly and that is when you got a full view of his face. He was scraped up.

“Christ, what happened?” you asked him worriedly, coming closer to the bottom of the stairs between him and Steve. Steve took the hint and told Tony he would make sure it happened and turned on his heel to leave.

To you, Tony said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” He began to turn to go up the stairs further.

You followed quickly, “You don’t look fine. Here, let me help.” He started to protest but you were already there, going past him. You stole another glance and saw there were scraps by his eyebrow and upper cheek, bleeding still. “There’s a kit in the guest bathroom. That’s closest. Come on.”

Tony followed you and you told him to sit on the toilet. He did as you said, looking hesitant. You dipped to grab underneath the sink and pulled out the first aid kit. Working quickly, you got the hydrogen peroxide as well and used the cotton balls to wipe at his face. He hissed and you apologized gently, dabbing with care.

“What happened?” you asked again as you wiped at the cuts.

“It doesn’t—”

“Tony.”

He ground his teeth for a few seconds before saying, “I almost got run over.”

You stilled and pulled away to meet his eyes. “Excuse me?”

“One of Weston’s guys.” You knew Weston. He ran an outfit outside the city, smaller but it was influential for keeping the borders secure.

“Weston?” you asked in disbelief. As far as you knew, he did not have any issue with Tony.

“I don’t know. We were working at a site and all of a sudden I heard someone coming in quick and Thor shoved me out of the way.” Your heart clenched and he saw. “He’ll be fine. He got nicked and it sent him spiraling. If it had been one of us, we would have had broken bones. He’s shaken up and bloodied, but he’s gonna be fine.”

“That’s good,” you said dropping the cotton balls into the trash and moving towards the bandaids and antibiotic ointment. “But, did Weston send him?”

“I don’t know,” Tony said honestly. “I don’t think so. The guy is someone who had an issue with me personally. Seems his brother got killed or something in a recent raid. Wanda and Rhodey were interrogating the guy after Steve forced me to come back here in case there were other people gunning for me.”

“That was smart of him,” you said tapping the ointment onto the cuts. “I’m glad he brought you back.”

“Oh, yeah?” Tony asked with a small smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yes, I would like you to always come back alive if you could manage that for me,” you retorted, opening up a bandaid. You bandaged up the worst of it and added for good measure, “And if you could be more cognizant of your surroundings that would be a good place to start to make sure that happens….”

Turning away from him, you heard him give a light chuckle at your quip. You felt the air shift behind you, and you closed the kit, pushing it back further on the counter.

You made to ignore how close he was and walked towards the door, but he was quicker, grabbing your arm and stilling your movement. His other hand grasped the door, and he threw it closed before turning you around and holding you against it. Staring up at him, you stayed still, waiting for him to make his move.

“I’ll take that into consideration, just for you. I’ll keep my head on a swivel. How does that sound?”

“It sounds like a good plan.”

Tony’s lips curled into a smile before he leaned in and you followed his movement, coming in to kiss him softly. He hummed in approval, his hands ghosting up your sides. His thumbs brushed over your nipples, and you wrapped your arms tight to paw at his ass through his pants. He liked that by the noise he released, and you sucked in at his bottom lip. Pinning your wrists above your head, his lips dragging roughly over yours. You bit at him now in a mock threat, and he chuckled before capturing you in a passionate kiss. Your pelvis ground towards him and your tongue slipped into his mouth, swirling. The two of you were locked in a passionate dance.

Tony groaned, pulling away as you brushed his length through his slacks with your thigh. He turned you around in a fluid motion, keeping your wrists pinned and pressed himself against your back. Your neck was sucked and peppered with eager kisses, him dry humping you. You dragged your teeth across your bottom lip, a wanton whine escaping.

He let go of your wrists and made quick work of pulling your sun dress up and freeing himself from his pants. Working with him, you spread your legs and arched your back, anticipation crawling over your skin. Pulling your underwear aside, he drove up into you, holding tight at your hips.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you gasped as he picked up speed.

Anyone walking by outside the room would be greeted with loud, pleasured moans and the sound of skin slapping skin with how hard Tony was driving into you. You hardly cared; it was your damn house after all.

The two of you found a slow rhythm to relieve the intensity, a needed break. You rolled your hips, riding him with precision. His hands flexed, one coming up to cup your breast, kneading at it through your dress. He leaned forward enough to suck at your earlobe, whispering filth into your ear before he gave a rough nip.

You pushed back roughly and hissed, “I’m so close. Please.”

Tony’s hand fell from your tit and found its way between your panties and wet pussy. His fingers worked at your clit, and you groaned loudly, begging for him to not stop and he promised you he was going to fuck you good. He was working fast again, his breath coming quick and hot.

“I…I…” you stuttered moments before you clenched, your heat enveloping him tighter.

“Oh, god, that’s it, baby,” Tony praised in a low groan, his fingers faltering on your clit. But he thrusted quicker for a few seconds before he was pulsating. His hand fell to your thigh, fingers digging in as he stilled, emptying completely.

His head rested on your shoulder, the two of you breathing heavy. He found his breath again and laid a soft kiss at your neck.

“Well, that helped my stress,” he breathed.

Leaning back, you turned your head to be able to see him well enough to give him a kiss. Against his lips, you smiled, “Glad I could be of some assistance.”

<><><>

Erick was walking beside you, checking his phone. He suddenly stopped, holding out his arm to stop you as well. “We should go to another store.”

You furrowed your brow and said, “What? Why? I’m done. And they said they would be at the café now for lunch.”

“They’re going to be late.”

Shooting a look across the street, you spotted Bucky inside and slid your eyes back to Erick, looking completely unimpressed. “Nice try. Bucky is already inside.”

Erick swore underneath his breath and you frowned, sensing you were being kept out of the loop about something. You had been surprised when Bucky and Natasha had asked to ride along with you and Erick when they learned where you were going to be going shopping but had told them to come along. They had made it clear they were going somewhere else but would meet back for lunch.

You began walking again and Erick said more firmly, “Y/N, we should find another store to go into.”

Pressing the crosswalk button, you crossed your own arms, your bags bumping up against your middle. You always insisted on carrying some of the bags. Erick was your bodyguard, not your servant.

“Y/N.”

“I heard you. And I’m choosing to ignore you.”

Erick sighed loudly as the light came on to cross and you did so, hearing him follow you despite his protesting. Bucky spotted you through the window and his eyes shot back to Erick, giving him a disappointed glare. It only served to encourage you to move a bit quicker. Upon entering the café, you saw Bucky staring directly at you and Natasha looking at you over her shoulder.

“You’re supposed to be shopping,” Bucky said as you approached the table.

“I’m done. I thought we were having lunch,” you told him, sitting down beside him, placing your bags on the ground. “What’s the hold up?” Natasha was tight lipped as was Bucky as Erick sat down next to Natasha. You exhaled deeply and said in a quieter voice, even though you were alone in the corner, “You can trust me. You know you can. You’re doing a drop off, aren’t you?” Bucky cocked his head and you picked up his coffee and took a sip. “I know Salazar likes to do business in that building. You must need some new toys.”

Natasha and Bucky exchanged a look and for once, you noticed Erick actually looked amused at the fact you had forced yourself into the situation. He knew you were not stupid and he was probably feeling a little sense of pride that they were noticing that as well.

Adjusting in his seat, Bucky admitted in low tones, “Yes. And someone who isn’t gonna be happy about it has people set up inside watching to see who goes in and out.”

“I can do it.”

“It’s dangerous, Y/N,” Erick told you immediately before the other two could respond. His amusement was gone.

Seriously, you asked, “For me? They’re not even to think twice about me walking in. Sure, I’m married to Tony and my dad is a boss. But people really don’t pay attention to me except thinking about getting me on my back.”

Natasha ground her teeth at that, uncomfortable.

“Well, it’s the truth,” you said, shrugging. “They’ll think I’m just going in to look at the back jewelry room. All I care about is shopping anyways, right?” Natasha cocked an eyebrow and you said with a smirk, “Yes. I do know about that too, and I’ve been inside. Problem is I’ll have to actually go up to the room and that guy — Tucker — is a sleazebag.”

“You think I’m gonna let you go alone?” Erick asked.

You patted his arm, “Look at you being chivalrous.”

“Tony would have my balls if I let you around Tucker without me.”

“Wait, we did not even agree to this,” Natasha cut in, holding up her hand.

“Give it to me,” you told her, holding out your hand. “I can carry it in my purse. Go upstairs, get something small from Tucker or act like I was not impressed with the selection, and then come back down a back way to drop it into the chute before circling back and coming back out the front entrance.”

You flexed your fingers after they did not react quick enough. “I have concealed carry if anything goes wrong. And you know Erick is a great protector.”

“I have to ask Tony—” Bucky started to say.

“Bullshit,” you told Bucky. “This needs to get done. I’m assuming it’s time sensitive. And you had an unexpected snag and you have the solution sitting right beside you. Not acting on it is going to make you miss your goddamn window. I have gotten my hands dirty before and involved with this type of shit. It’s nothing new.”

Natasha nodded at Bucky stiffly and he sighed, reaching into his jacket, pulling out a thick bag and handing it to you. You felt it was money and put it into your purse swiftly. It was concealed by the fact it was hidden in a grocery store bag, not see through. Picking the menu up, you quickly scanned it.

“Erick and I both like breakfast sandwiches, his with ham and mine with bacon,” you told them putting the menu back down on the table. “I want an orange juice too. You?”

“Water,” Erick answered before following your movement to stand up.

“I’ll be back before you know it. Hopefully before the food gets here. Mind my bags, please,” you told the pair before striding off and not waiting for their answer.

Tucker was a sweet talker as always, commenting on how nice your jumpsuit looked. His hands trailed along your own and you pulled away naturally, not forcing it. When you politely brushed off his advances, he congratulated you on your recent marriage since he had not seen you since it happened. You bantered back and forth with him about how he was always able to find out the latest gossip. He told you that it was big news that Tony had gotten married; if you did not know it, you were not keeping your ear to the ground at all.

To your surprise, he had something in stock you really wanted. And it was for Tony. A nice new ring and you took it happily. Hopefully if Tony caught wind of this – which he certainly would, you doubted Bucky or Natasha would lie to him – this would soften the blow.

On the way down, you did exactly what you said were you going to do and you dropped the bag off in the chute and came back around. Walking right past the people that you knew were watching for whoever it was that Natasha and Bucky were worried about. They only glanced at you and looked away when they saw the small signature bag of Tucker’s business.

Sliding back into your chair, you placed the bag on the table and said, “It’s done. Also, do you think Tony will like that?”

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney  @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl @namjoonwatcheshentai @kaylamcd2000 @damntonystarkandhissmile @aditimukul

Fic tags: @patheticallysentimental @suchababie @downeyreads @teenageregression​

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Pawn: Three

Bucky looked at you across the table. You looked sleek. Smart. Every inch the barracuda lawyer that had been keeping Tony’s legal affairs in order. And he tried his most charming smile. Anything to try and lessen the tension at the table. 

You were it. Aside from Rhodes standing discreetly near by sipping coffee. Bucky wasn’t sure if he was there to spy or act as a body guard. Bucky supposed it could be both. But now that he was here, staring you in the face, somehow he wasn’t sure what to say. 

He didn’t need to be charming. You’d already agreed to marry him. And even if you hadn’t, you didn’t look like you could be charmed. You look immune. And he curses himself for cutting his own balls off. He feels like he backed himself into a corner. And it rankles. 

“You had quite a list for your step dad and I,” Bucky started, taking a sip of his coffee. 

You shrug, almost carelessly, “If we’re doing some medieval nonsense I figure I may as well get something out of it.”

“Diamonds though?”

“A time honored tradition,” you snort. “When men hold the purse strings.”

Bucky nodded, considering that for a moment. He supposed that he knew that. His ma had told him something to that affect once. That it was important to have a back up plan and Jewelry could be pawned for quick cash. He could respect that. And it told him a little more about you. You liked to have plans. A strategy. Bucky could bet you were a killer Scrabble player. And that you probably hated when people made rash decisions. 

“That contract was air tight,” he mused, “Houdini couldn’t get out of those terms.”

“Thank you,” you answer, smiling a little over your mug.

“I’m not sure that that’s a compliment,” he snorted. “You had me by the short hairs from the jump… why expend the effort?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” you sigh, shrugging again. “I have a career to think about. I’m giving up a life of my own to protect criminal empires. Sure, we can be friends. We can get along. But you and I both know that I’m just a pawn in all this and you don’t see me as much of an asset.”

Bucky quirked an eyebrow. “What about love?” You didn’t mention it. And it still took him by surprise that you didn’t seem to want it. 

“What about it?” you counter. 

“That’s not a part of the plan?” He tried not to sound incredulous but he couldn’t tell if you were being intentionally dense or what… he hated that he couldn’t read you. He could read everyone. 

“It never was before,” you shrug, “I never even planned to get married.”

“No big white wedding with your dad walking you down the aisle?” he pressed. 

“Not my dad, no,” you answer shrugging. You know what he’s doing. That he’s digging. Trying to feel out the things that Tony had meticulously kept out of public view. For years Tony had worked double time since you were six to protect you. To make sure that no one could use you to get to him. And part of that had meant not being openly affectionate. In public, at least. He’d be kind, sure. But he was distant. Even occasionally visibly impatient. And even that was better than what your biological father had done. 

Bucky felt his eyes narrow. You weren’t really giving him anything. Volunteering nothing. Answering in only the barest terms. He didn’t expect you to swoon, sure. But it would be nice to get SOMETHING. Anything aside from being held at arms length.

“The wedding happening at all is mostly for my mom,” you tell him shrugging. 

Bucky nodded, “It’s hell being the oldest, huh?”

You smile a little, “Not really. I was out of the house when Morgan was born. And by the time Morgan gets married mom’ll have had some time to mellow out. She just loves an excuse to plan parties… And with all the legal things I’ve been doing she’s been taking over the party planning things for my charity projects.”

“Your projects?”

“She told Tony that some outreach work would probably help cops look the other way when it came to his low level guys doing some dumb shit,” Rhodey chimed in. 

Bucky blinked. He’d wondered what the fuck Stark was doing. And he wasn’t sure what to say to that. It was Machiavellian. It was brilliant. Across the board, Stark had lower levels of busts. And a TON of positive press. He looked like an upstanding citizen. A business man. Bucky knew that that had irritated his dad. It had irritated him too. And he had no diea that it wasn’t even his doing, not really. 

“How-”

You shrug, “I wanted to know if it would work and Tony gave me a little money to play with. Then sent me to school to learn not for profit management and law.” You shoot Rhodes a look and he shrugs. He wants Bucky to know what he’s getting. To know that your degree was earned, not bought. That any opportunity Tony had given you, you’d capitalized on. He hated watching Bucky look at you like he was looking at you. Like a stupid girl. Like an obligatory thing. And he hated that you were treating this like what it was. A business transaction. You were better than this. Better than what you were given right now. He knew it. Tony knew it. Barnes needed to know it. You were doing a all of them a favor. 

____________

“How’d it go?” Tony asked, lighting a cigar. 

“He’s in over his head. She’s keeping her hand in and playing it close to the chest,” Rhodes said. “Full barracuda mode.”

Tony snorted. He’d wondered before if he should have put you in therapy. He and Pepper had talked about it after everything your dad had done. But now? He was glad he hadn’t. Sure, you were going to have to be vulnerable at some point but Bucky was going to have to earn it. 

Rhodes shook his head and laced his fingers behind his neck. “This is a  mess, Tony,” he said, watching his friend. 

“Don’t I know it,” Tony huffed, rolling his eyes. “Pepper’s on my ass, Morgan’s on my ass. The only person that doesn’t think I’m some awful tyrant is the person I’m marrying off.”

“Y/N’s got bigger balls than any of us, swear.”

And Tony chuckled, “Bless her little heart… Now I gotta figure out how to tell her that her dad is kicking up a fuss.”

“About what?” Rhodey said, sitting up. It was a knee jerk reaction. One that had long been instilled in him. The one person that had ever kidnapped you had been Jesse. 

“The wedding, what else?” he scoffed. “He seems to think he gets a say.”

“Bullshit. Doesn’t he have like… a whole new family that doesn’t even know about her?”

“Two of ‘em.”

Rhodey looked towards the mantle. There was a picture of you and Morgan. You were At the park sitting on a swing. Morgan was on your lap, face sticky with blue cotton candy and beaming at the camera as you kissed the side of her head. “Does she know?”

“Not yet,” Tony said flinching. “Pep’s trying to get her alone and talk to her about it… He’s planning on brining everyone.”

“That’s gross.”

“Tell me about it,” Tony sighed. “I don’t get what the sudden interest is. He made it pretty clear that she was a “youthful mistake” and she wasn’t supposed to contact him.”

“She wasn’t a hot shot lawyer when she was 8,” Rhodey said bitterly.

[marshmallowprotection]

Camellia

Pairing: Choi Saeran/Reader

Description: Ray was a princess no matter what she thought of herself and you were determined to give her everything that a princess was worthy of. She was deserving of her fantasy and you were going to do everything you could if it meant that she could sparkle and shine as the royalty you knew her to be.

Word Count:  3934

Fem!Ray x Reader

[Read On AO3]

She had made it seem like there was nothing that she could ever do to allow herself to be the person that she wanted to be. 

She had allowed herself to believe that there was nothing she could do to change anything about the situation that she was in. Yet, late at night when she was ruminating in her thoughts and when she spoke to you on the phone, it would reveal these little fantasies of hers that would make your heart swell with admiration and fancy.

Ray was a very interesting person. There was so much about her that you didn't know and yet there was so much that you wanted to discover. 

The fact that you didn't know everything that you possibly could wasn't a bad thing, oh, you considered it to be a good thing because every moment you were learning something new about this kind-hearted soul who looked at you as if you can move the Sun and the Earth.

She put every ounce of her effort into maintaining the server and workup of the game that she had created. She was often so busy with making sure that everything was running the way that it was meant to, but she didn't get to see you as much as she wanted. You didn't get to see her as much as you wanted.

It was nothing personal, she was kind of a workaholic.

Even if it was trying to take care of herself by making a nice meal, or getting some rest. She was always concerned about making sure that you were okay more than anything else. It was never about what she was doing or what she needed to do to make sure that she was having a good day. It was always about your comfort and what you needed to be happy in this place.

Never once had you seen Ray do something for herself.

She was incredibly selfless, to a degree that it was almost worrying because everything came before her health and well-being. It was why those little fleeting moments late at night when she would reveal secrets of her heart to you, that you would relish every second of it. You knew that nobody else had the privy of knowing her in the way that you did.

You didn't know her through the way that the characters had been created when the game was in development with more than just herself behind everything, but what you did know was how she gauged your reactions when you were playing and how she was constantly searching for your reaction. 

You could tell that she wanted to take everything you said seriously, and it wasn't just because she was a developer that wanted to make sure that no bugs were going wrong. No, never once had you felt like this was a business transaction between people. She hung on every single word that you said like it was a lifeline. 

The way that she looked at you when you were talking was like someone seeing the Sun for the first time, or seeing the moon on a cloudless night

Ray listened to you and treated you better than anyone that you had ever met in your entire life. 

She made you feel like you are on cloud nine, and never once did you feel like your presence was unwanted or unneeded. She made you feel like you were truly something special, and it was because of that that every time you thought of her, you could feel your heart fluttering in your chest.

There was no denying that you felt something strongly for Ray. You weren't going to shove that feeling aside because it was just so palpable now that there was no ignoring it. It did give you an idea of something that you could do to make her feel like she was special. Because one thing that you had noticed in her late-night ruminations was her desire to feel like your princess.

Ray would spin these stories when she was having a hard time sleeping or when she was working so hard that she needed to relax her brain for just a minute to be able to continue working as hard as she was. She mentioned that she would close her eyes sometimes and imagine herself as a princess who lived in a tall tower. 

She saw herself as someone that had been trapped and hidden away from the world for her protection by her Savior and guardian, yet, she kept gazing out of the window to see the world that she was being protected from. 

She longed to touch the grass, the trees, the sky, the seas, and anything else that she could. 

The part of her story that made your voice hitch was when she mentioned the lovely princess that lived outside of her tower that would wander in the gardens that she desired to see firsthand. This princess was far more beautiful than the flowers and made the trapped princess both envious and fall in love at the same time. She yearned to walk the gardens with the freed princess.

Every time she would reach the end of her little story, you would shiver as she whispered, “That princess… she’s you, my precious game tester. Like Briar Rose, wandering the forest without a care in the world… waiting for her dreams to come true as she fails to realize just how lovely she is… and maybe… maybe soon she’ll stumble into her destined love.” 

With stars and affection in her eyes, she would call you her favorite princess. You knew that she thought well of this fantasy because she had decorated the room that you were staying in to feel like a room meant for a princess. She would always bring you flowers, and she would go out of her way to make sure that everyone treated you with the utmost care. 

It made your heart flutter so strongly that you didn't know what to do. But, what were you meant to do? What could you say when someone of her wonder and amazement called you something like that? 

All you could do was think of how she made you feel and how warm you felt on the inside. You have never felt so strongly for someone before in your entire life, and you wanted to give her the world. She wanted to give you the world, but you were very hell-bent on making sure that she had it first. 

Yet, she deserved to be that fairytale princess who ran amongst the flowers and tasted the sweetest berries that could reach her lips. No, she needed it and you were going to find a way to do it. No matter how much you had to do to make it happen and no matter how much thought and planning would go into it. 

Ray deserved to feel like she was on top of the world because she, more than anybody you ever knew, was worthy of admiration. If it could only be possible for a day, you would make sure that she had a day where she was allowed to be herself and allowed to be the princess that you knew she was. 

So, you set out making a day just for Ray. It took some thought and convincing on your end, but you managed to piece together everything you needed. There were a lot of little parts that had to come together to make things work, and you had done all of it on your own without any help in the slightest apart from one or two things. 

Ray’s birthday was very soon and thanks to that fact, and you weren’t sure how you did it, but you had gotten the Savior to let Ray have a couple of hours in the afternoon off-duty. You had a feeling this might be the only time she would get a break this month, so you were going to make the best of it so she would have a moment to look back on and smile in tough times. 

“What’s all this…?” 

“You’ll see, Ray, it’s a surprise.” 

It was meant to be a surprise because she seemed floored when someone came to her workroom to bring her to your room. Though, you paid her surprise no mind and beamed. It was always you who was escorted to meet her in the gardens on days like this, so she never thought that someone would come and ask her to do the same. 

She seemed unsure of what to think at that moment but when you extended your hand to her, she took it and you knew that she was putting all of her faith into you. 

You put your plan into motion without a second thought, “Is it okay if I style you for the day, Ray?” 

“Style…?” she looked at you as her brow furthered. “Oh, do you mean that you want to… do my hair and things of that nature?” 

Nodding, you agreed. You sat her down at the vanity mirror and offered to do her hair and makeup for the day. Her hair was always neat and properly curled whenever you saw her in the morning, but she claimed that she only had enough time to put on strawberry gloss when she paused in front of the mirror.

“It won’t take too terribly long,” you promised. 

Ray kept her hands clasped together on her lap as you gently ran a brush through her curls. “I don’t mind… I’m flattered that you want to do something like this for me. Take as long as you want.” 

She was patient and understanding, but a part of you felt like she said that because she liked the feeling of you fawning over her like this. You wouldn’t deny that you didn’t feel the same way as Ray showered you with adoration. When she pressed a hand to your cheek and gazed deeply into your eyes, you would’ve done anything she asked. 

It was as simple as that. 

When you beckoned her forward, she would follow, and when she urged you to come to her side, you would follow. It was like a song and dance that you knew very well, each of you taking turns at leading the melody along. 

You were very careful with her skin as you applied some foundation and rouge. Her skin was very light because she didn’t go out very often, almost like porcelain that was close to breaking if you weren’t careful with the way you held it within your hands. She was naturally a beauty but you wanted to help her feel confident in that. 

She always complimented the way that you did your makeup, so it only seemed fair that you do something amazing in return. She refused to look into your eyes as you dabbled some gloss on your finger and brushed it against her lips, though you could feel her watching you from the corner of her eyes. 

Though she claimed her lips were often dry and cracked, you could claim otherwise, and you couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like pressed against your lips. You had to shake the thought away whenever it arose because you weren’t going to nudge her into doing something that she wasn’t ready for. 

Her hair was shoulder-length, but the curls that you touched up with heat and spray bobbed just over them thanks to the tight swirls in her hair. Her bangs often fell in front of her eyes, but you had the foresight to gently tuck it back out of the way with a flower hairpin that was amongst the items that she had given to you with the room. 

Ray leaned into your touch every step of the way, and when you pulled your hand away to admire your handiwork, she followed your touch until she realized what she was doing. Her cheeks turning warmer and warmer as she tried to hide her embarrassment. Ray was starved about as much as anyone could be for physical touch. 

She hadn’t looked at the mirror yet. However, she did look at you for answers and perhaps a reflection in your eyes. “How… how does it look, then? I mean, I’m sure it looks great since you’re the one that did all the work on something as plain and boring as me, but…” 

“I think it’s missing something, actually, Ray,” you said. 

You paused if only briefly to glance between Ray and the closet in the corner of the room. You weren’t done with her yet, however, and as lovely as she looked at the moment, you wanted her to be able to see herself the way that you always imagined her to be. Ray followed your eyes as if it would give her an answer. 

Ray hesitated, “Missing something? You’ve already troubled yourself so much for me today… you don’t have to do anything more, I promise.” 

“I have just the thing, Ray. Don’t worry about it. I think you’ll want to see yourself after we had the missing part.” 

She seemed reluctant but she would never discourage you from listening to whatever you were thinking of doing. So, you led her over to the closet and tucked out the outfit that you’ve picked out personally for her to wear. 

That had taken the most trouble to find with your limited sources here in Magenta, but you had gotten it after some soul-searching… and strong begging until someone sighed and did what you asked of them. You had your ways that worked and you were going to keep them until they didn’t work anymore. 

You offered to help her get dressed, but Ray was still very anxious about revealing any of her body to you. You understood the sentiment and turned your back to her as fabric glided to the ground with a soft pitter-patter. 

Fabric rustled and fluttered behind you until you heard that soft voice ask you to lace up the ribbon in the back of her as her hands were just a bit too short. 

It only took you a few moments to tie back the pink ribbon with a few flicks of your wrist. With a smile, you led her back over to the mirror covering your hands over her eyes so it didn’t, “spoil the surprise too soon!”

The sound of nervous giggles flooded that room because you felt so giddy and Ray couldn’t stop the infectious feeling of your happiness. She had mentioned that plenty of times before and now you were just so happy that she was about to have a day fit for a real princess such as herself. As you took a step back, you felt her hand grasp at yours. 

“...Wait,” she murmured. Her eyes were still closed tightly as if not to break the illusion that you had created. “I want to see us together.” 

You smiled. “I could never say no to you, princess.” 

At that nickname usage, Ray let out a gasp and opened her eyes. She looked at the mirror as it was the first thing she could see without checking where she was in the room, and her mint eyes settled on her face as she realized what you have done. She was staring directly at someone who looked every bit of the princess that she had tried to describe you to be. She didn’t say anything about it, she just kept staring. 

You had carefully tucked her hair into neat curls but a good portion was curled back with a pink rose. She seemed to be admiring that detail for the longest time, and the big dress that she was wearing was very ornate in detail, every bit of a Lolita who aimed to dress like a princess in layered petticoats and ribbons. 

It was pink, as you had surmised that she liked the color pink, but you added a little blue necklace around her neck since that had to be her other favorite color. 

Despite herself, she let out the softest giggle that seemed to relish in her delight at how you’d dressed her. She clenched your hand once, twice, and then thrice. “I… I don’t know what to say… nobody’s ever done something like this for me before.” 

“I told you, princess,” you lifted her hand to your lips as she hung on your every word. Her eyes watching you in the mirror. “Today is about you. Anything your heart desires. But, it’s not over yet, this is just the start. After all, I couldn’t take the princess out to her garden without making her feel as beautiful as she is on the inside.” 

Ray murmured your name in surprise. 

“C’mon, you’ve got more surprises, my lady.” 

You could see the way that tears splotched to the corner of her eyes but she didn’t dare allow herself to cry and ruin what you had done. After a gentle tug of her hand, you were able to lead her out of the room and deep into the gardens.

You knew the path by heart now and you didn’t have to worry about getting lost. She didn’t need to worry about anything. You would do everything. You had asked someone to help you set out some of the details so you could focus on spoiling Ray in the meantime, and you were happy to see that someone had helped you. 

They had set out the tea table as you had asked them to do, but the little cakes and pastries had all been of your making. Now, you knew you weren’t quite as great as she was when it came to baking—

But, you didn’t care about that. You knew it was a little sloppy, but Ray never once commented on that. She just held tightly to your hand and stared at everything. Her lips were parted into this small o-shape that she couldn’t hide. It was cute. You didn’t want to give away your laugh about it yet. 

She let go of your hand just to inspect everything. Her hands running against the edge of the tablecloth and admiring the detail that you had gone to for her, all to make sure that she had the tea she loved and the sweets that she had dreamed of tasting and making. It had been tough to figure them all out but it was worth it. 

To see the look in her eyes and the wonder on her face made you so happy. 

What mattered was that Ray got that date in the garden that she had desired for so very long. She talked about it so often that you knew how to paint the scenery down to the smallest detail. It was her dream to give to you, but you were gifting it back. 

“This is…” 

You already felt like you were special just by being at Ray’s side. 

“Your dream, right?” 

It was like her dream had come to life. 

“How did you…?” 

Ray spun around to face you as you set aside your phone, the gentle hum of music coming from the speaker as it rested against the table. This was a dream but it was reality at the same time, this was real. You offered her your hand and smiled, “You wouldn’t be too terribly bothered if I were to ask the princess for a dance, right?” 

“The answer is always yes, for you,” she murmured. 

Her gloved palm rested against yours without a moment of hesitation, but her eyes were filled with far too many emotions to understand all of them. You just knew that the star-struck look on her face made you feel electrified. 

“Can I tell you a story?” 

“I’d love to hear one.” 

She leaned into your arms and the two of you swayed together as the music played in the background. It was the perfect moment. 

“There was once a princess hidden away in a tall tower,” you began to say as the memory came flooding to you. “She loved to gaze out over the gardens of the castle next door. She knew that she was safe in her tower, but every day, she saw the princess of the neighboring castle visit the garden day after day, she found herself wanting to be close to the other princess, but never knowing how.” 

“She thought that the princess would never notice her, so she resigned herself to gazing out of her window every day. However, what the tower princess didn’t know was that the princess that visited the garden had noticed her every day. That’s why she visited her garden so often. She came every day just to catch a glimpse of the maiden locked away in the tall tower.” 

“Her favorite part of the day was when she realized that the princess had come to her window because she could see the girl with snow-white hair and rosy cheeks. One day, she made a plan, she decided that she would sneak the princess out of her tower for a day. She worked hard to find the hidden door to the tower, and visited her princess, offering to escort her outside for the day, as not to anger her mother.” 

“The tower princess agreed because she was so taken with the garden’s princess, and the two of them shared a lovely day underneath a willow tree, folding rows of flower crowns and enjoying each other’s company. Though their perfect day did have to come to an end, neither princess wanted to leave the other behind now that they had finally met.” 

That had caught Ray’s attention and she was now looking at you with a curious glint in her eyes, her head cocked. “What happened next?” 

You were adding onto the story that she had created and painting a picture of hope for her instead of yearning that would never be completed. She hung on every word and you found yourself unable to look away. 

“They both devised a plan to unite their kingdoms, but this plan was going to take time… they had to put their heads together to settle the fighting that started between their two kingdoms in the first place… however, they knew that as long as they had each other, they would be able to change things for the better, they decided all of that in a day, as they had fallen in love with one another.” 

Your free hand grazed against Ray’s hip and she let out a little gasp at the soft touch. You leaned over and brushed your forehead against hers. Neither of you saying anything as she breathed in the breath that you exhaled. You weren’t sure whose heart was beating loudly at that moment, it could have been both of you. 

“Do you want to know how they sealed their promise of happiness?” you whispered the question with a flutter of your eyelashes. 

“How?” Ray asked. 

Without saying another word, you simply kissed your princess and took her breath away with one gesture. Underneath the shaded tree of the gardens, you found peace and prosperity with your princess. You wanted to give her everything she could ever dream of and you had gifted that joyful dream into her hands. 

Now, you could only hope that this paradise around you could truly become a place where Ray could be happy… if it wouldn’t, well, you wouldn’t stop until you could protect her heart from being hurt ever again. 

[literaryfic]

Chapters: 1/?
 Fandom: 빈센조 | Vincenzo (TV) 
Rating: Explicit
 Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Vincenzo Cassano | Park Joo Hyeong/Hong Cha Young
Characters: Hong Cha Young, Vincenzo Cassano | Park Joo Hyeong
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Italian Mafia, (i know nothing about the mafia so this will be very inaccurate!!!), basically vincenzo & cha-young being mafia bosses in italy


Summary: When Vincenzo Cassano came back to Italy, no one expected to see someone by his side. Or how Cha-young and Vincenzo became the head of the Cassano family. a mafia couple au inspired by a discussion with @ourgalaxybangtan @ghostrights & @whovie-reloaded

  Vincenzo had been handling most of the family business since their adoptive father’s health had started to decline. As the consigliere of the Cassano family, he was Fabio’s most trusted man, his advisor, his lawyer but also his second-in-command.

It hadn’t been easy, all these years, to climb the ladder. He wasn’t a native, he wasn’t blood, and so not many people had welcomed him at first. That’s why he had to become ruthless, so that no one could deny his authority or even dare to try. He had killed and tortured many men, broken their minds and their bones, burned their flesh and cut off their limbs, ashes and screams trailing behind him. If he wasn’t proud of the blood on his hands, he was at least proud of his work. All the hours he’d spent training, fighting, preparing, scheming, studying, all his efforts to erase Park Joo-hyung from the face of earth had paid off. The scared, weak little kid was gone, buried with all his other victims. ‘An eye for an eye, and then some’, Vincenzo lived by that, and he would stop at nothing except killing the innocent. There was no doubt he was the best at what he did and anyone who did not respect him feared him enough to not threaten him. His success was the Cassano family’s success, yet he knew that members of his own clan would not hesitate to have him killed if they could. Two clear factions had formed in the past five years, those who supported Vincenzo as the next head of the family, and those who supported Paolo, his brother. Paolo and Vincenzo had never gotten along, and Paolo’s inferiority complex and jealousy grew deeper every time his older brother had to clean up after one of his rushed job. Paolo had a particular taste for violence. Whereas Vincenzo killed and tortured because he had to, Paolo got a kick out of hurting others, be it children, women or elders. He loved to assert his dominance, to feel almighty. Vincenzo didn’t think himself much better than him, (regardless of the reasons behind his murders, he’d probably killed way more than him), but he wanted Paolo to be punished for his sins. It was only a matter of time before some influential family members whispered plans of assassination and of ‘restoring the rightful heir’ into his ear. Paolo was an angry, frustrated man who wasn’t particularly good at his job, an easy puppet to control. He’d been watching them carefully but he knew that as long as his father was alive, no one would dare to touch him. Back then he had thought he would take care of them when it came to it, become the head of his family, and continue to rule the underworld. Then, the incident happened and everything changed. He hadn’t been able to sleep for weeks, his victims’ screams haunting his dreams. He started avoiding mirrors, his reflection taunting him. He barely ate anymore, and Fabio had reminded him to get a grip. So he had done just that. He drank himself to sleep or took sleeping pills, and he went on. He knew, however, that he could not go on like this much longer. He had to get out before he buried himself next to Park Joo-hyung and all the others whose lives he’d taken. He’d started to plan his escape secretly. He would wait until his father died, staying loyal to him as long as he was alive. When the time came, he knew Paolo would try to kill him. The power struggle between them would start as soon as the head of the family would die, but instead of destroying his opponents, Vincenzo would seize the opportunity to leave. He would go back to South Korea, get the gold and leave to an island, where he would spend the rest of his days. The death of his previous Chinese client was perfect timing. As expected, Fabio, his boss and adoptive father, had named him the next head of the family in his will. It came to no surprise to most members, but murmurs spread quickly, “Can you imagine? A foreigner, as the head of our family? What has the world become?”. After wrapping things up in Italy, Vincenzo promised himself to never return, throwing away the key to the graveyard of his sins. …. There’s no going back from this, he thinks. Vincenzo is still holding Cha-young’s face, unable to look away from her lips, still wet from the kiss. Her pink cheeks, her smeared lipstick, the freckles under her fondation. Her. Hong Cha-young. His heart is soaring in his chest, all the emotions he had desperately tried to silence erupting all at once. There was no point in denying it, he had fallen in love with her. All he could do now was break his own heart, hoping it would heal. …. He realises he can’t live without her after she gets injured. They’re trying to get more information on Jang Han-seok’s paper company, and this time they’re trying to prove that some of the transactions made to European bank accounts were bribes. They’re breaking into none other than the Minister of Economy and Finance, Cha Do-won’s house. Miri had made sure to deactivate the security system and cameras, and Vincenzo was in charge of securing the place while Cha-young searched for the secret ledger the Minister kept hidden in his office. Cha Do-won was making a speech right now, and they had assumed most of his personal security would be with him. Vincenzo had quickly incapacitated the few men around the house and Cha-young looked for the ledger. After a few minutes, she found a hidden drawer in his desk. There it was, a thick documents labelled 'Accounts’. Subtlety wasn’t one of his strong points, apparently. They were about to leave when suddenly, a dozen men started to raid the place. Vincenzo fought them off as best as he could, and he was grateful that Mr. Lee barged in to help. They thought they had them all beat, and so Vincenzo made a mistake. He turned his back to the door to look for Cha-young, who he thought was behind him. “Vincenzo!”, he heard her shout his name. He sees her across the room, about to get struck by a man. He rushes to her and knocks him out quick enough. “Oh my God”, she says, “Did you see that? I almost died! He had a knife as well, and I dodged it, and then I ran—”. She keeps rambling while they get out of the house and into their car, clearly in shock. She’s getting paler as time passes, and he only notices the blood that pooled on the seat when she tries to get out of the car. She was stabbed, but the shock and adrenaline had prevented her from feeling any pain. “Oh”, she says, looking down at her wound. Vincenzo jumps out of his seat and rips the bottom half of the T-Shirt he’s wearing. “I don’t think now’s the time for that, Darling.” Even in a life-threatening situation, Cha-young is joking around. Vincenzo’s mind stops, he feels paralysed by fear, the fear of losing her, of her dying in his car, because of him. He pushes those thoughts away as he holds the fabric to her wound. “Hold this, as hard as you can.” The rest of the car ride to the hospital is a blur of running red lights, speeding in between traffic and repeating “Hong Cha-young, stay with me.” Vincenzo had faced death everyday for the last 20 years. He had killed, had seen people kill and had almost died countless of time. “There’s no limit to fear”, he’d once said to Jang Han-seok’s informant. Only now, waiting for Cha-young’s surgery to be over, does he understand what those words truly mean. During 6 hours, Vincenzo pleads and begs God, the devil, anyone willing to listen (Don’t take her. Everyone but her). He makes empty promises (I’ll do anything. I’ll stop hurting others, I’ll disappear from her life) and meaningless threats (Don’t you dare take her. I’ll kill you, too). In the end he doesn’t know who answers his prayers, and what promises seals the deal, but Cha-young wakes up and he doesn’t care. He holds her hand, stays by her side, and vows to never leave her. He starts to plan for an escape route shortly after that. In case they can’t stay in South Korea and need to take off. First, he thinks of Malta, or another island. But they would need to go somewhere they have allies, somewhere with an easy access to emergency money and resources. Italy. He contacts Luca and sets everything up, a two bed-room apartment, two bank accounts, and everything they could ever need like cash, some guns, and a car. “Consigliere, will there be another person with you?”, Luca asks. “Hopefully it won’t come to that”, he avoids the question. He knows he promised not to come back, but some promises need to be broken out of necessity. He needed to make Cha-young was safe, at all cost. His brother’s betrayal had made it easier. He’d been caught in the crossfire of their fight against Babel, killed by Choi Myung-hee in order to frame Vincenzo. But they had proved his innocence, and sent back his corpse in Milan. After Fabio’s death, Paolo hadn’t been the best replacement, and after he was killed in South Korea, they’d put in charge one of their cousins who had neither Fabio’s experience, nor Vincenzo’s mastermind. The family was in a crisis, which didn’t go unnoticed by their rivals. Soon, business started to slow down, their clients stolen by the competition and their allies started to switch teams. Money ran low. For that reason, Vincenzo didn’t run into much opposition when he came back. Most members and people in their business thought he had killed Paolo after he’d unreasonably followed him to South Korea and tried to finish him. Paolo only left disappointment and resentment behind him, and so no one missed him much. What they had not expected, however, was for Vincenzo Cassano to come back with someone.