#it's nearly as bad as Age of Calamity tbh

[sage-nebula]

So I've now watched all the geoglyph cutscenes.

This story fucking sucks, man.

[voxofthevoid]

Time for Role Reversal Fem!Goyuu Wednesday 1!

I'm one(1) chapter into the story. It's only 3k, but given that it's got 0 sex despite how this story was supposed to be a pure pornfest, I think we can all see the writing on the wall. I will, however, bitch and whine all the same. The current plan is seven chapters, all fully outlined, but if the sex scenes or setup gets too long, the number may grow; that's what happened to Chapter 1.

The funny part is that I'm sure this chapter became...well, a chapter, as opposed to an intro scene or two, because this is my first time tackling goyuu role reversal from the inception instead of leaping into a point where Yuuji and Satoru are established teacher and student.

Anyway, it's been fun writing fem!Yuuji with Sukuna's OG form. I think this may end up catering to the folks who want to fuck Lady Dimitrescu—which would be great tbh.

Venture forth to find a 7-ft tall woman whose muscles ate you for breakfast 🍑

Satoru doesn’t have heroes.

Humans in general aren’t well suited to pedestals, and sorcerers in particular are worse. Satoru is a clan child, born blessed and grown only more so; she has seen all extremes of what their sequestered world has to offer. There’s more bad than good, more horrors than miracles, and that’s as true of sorcerers as curses.

It’s just as well.

She’s Gojou Satoru; she does not need heroes.

What she does have are stories. Two, specifically—a woman who was once a calamity and another woman, a thousand years later, who ate that calamity piece by piece. It’s been barely fifteen years since Itadori Yuuji’s name was burned into the history books alongside that of Ryomen Sukuna, a footnote that became the master title, and Satoru’s been alive and aware for nearly all of them.

Her childhood obsession was the King of Curses and her vessel-turned-devourer. She’s ingested every neatly bound book and dusty, disintegrating scroll in the Gojou clan’s possession that so much as references the Sukuna. Itadori has fewer records, but she’s alive and thriving, the strongest sorcerer in the world. Her name is voiced with equal parts fear and revulsion, the worse fools daring even condescending disdain, but Satoru’s heard more in what they don’t say than what they do.

Itadori Yuuji is a monster; she is a sorcerer.

She is—

“Are you some kind of pervert?” Satoru asks.

Itadori blinks all four of her mismatched eyes, the lower pair a few milliseconds slower than the primary one. She tilts her head, looking not unlike a puppy—an oversized, three-headed puppy.

A seven-foot-tall behemoth of a woman with her tits out has no business looking cute, but that doesn’t stop some small, senseless part of Satoru from swelling like she’s bring pumped full of sunshine and roses and other sicky sweet things.

Itadori asks, “Do you want me to be?”

Suguru makes a choking noise. Her hand snaps around Satoru’s wrist, squeezing tight in silent warning.

“What? No!” Satoru snaps, digging an elbow into Suguru’s side. She thinks she’s being subtle, with how the two of them are pressed so close together, but Itadori’s lower left eye drops to where the pointy edge meets Suguru’s flesh. Her expression doesn’t change from that pleasant smile that only reaches half of her eyes, and she doesn’t say a word in censure, but that eye stays there, even as the other three bore into Satoru like Itadori’s waiting for an answer.

Satoru drops her arm and takes a slight, shuffling step away from Suguru.

“Please forgive Satoru, sensei,” Suguru says, her voice the same deep, blandly pleasant thing it was when she introduced herself to Satoru a year ago. “She doesn’t think before she speaks sometimes. A lot of the time.”

“Hey!”

“That’s alright,” Itadori says, her smile widening enough to make her eyes crinkle—only the main pair, the lower two a ringed red that watch them unblinkingly. “I was worse at your age. But I’m curious now. What did you mean, Satoru-chan?”

Satoru wrinkles her nose at the address; no one’s dared to call her that in a long time. At least it doesn’t sound particularly patronizing coming from Itadori, not that the inexplicable fondness there is any less weird.

“Your tits are out,” she tells Itadori.

Itadori looks down blankly at her own chest, her expression growing quizzical as if the swell of her breasts is some sort of surprise when she’s the one going around wearing nothing but a haori up top. It doesn’t cover shit either. She hasn’t even put her arms in the sleeves, and alright, maybe it’s tricky when she’s got four of those too, but like this, the fabric draped across her shoulders and falling limply down her back only serves to emphasize everything she’s not covering, the blood red of the haori unsettlingly striking against her sun-warm skin tone.

And there’s a lot to see. Her sheer mass is blinding, and it’s all muscle, from the four bulging biceps to the abs you could break a bone on. The haori also does nothing to hide the mountainous breadth of her shoulders, and with every breath she takes, the fabric shifts, exposing new slivers of skin and flesh. The offending tits are the only points of softness on that torso, and even they’re firmer than Satoru’s used to seeing on women.

She can’t look away.

They’re big, objectively the biggest Satoru’s seen, except all of Itadori is immense and her bulk makes the breasts seem like they’re on the smaller end. They suit her, curving sweetly out like plump fruits, the nipples and the surrounding skin a mouthwatering dark.

Satoru tears her eyes away, swallowing wetly.

There’s nowhere that’s safe to look. If Satoru glances down, she’s treated to the sight of the mouth curving across the middle of Itadori’s stomach, distinct lips demurely closed but promising stranger sights beyond. If she looks up, there’s Itadori’s face, scarred and four-eyed and strikingly pretty, framed by a spiky mane of hair that’s offensively pink except toward the end, where it blends with a few strands that are a tame black.

Satoru makes furious eye contact with Itadori’s feet. They’re bare too. Of course they are. The nails are jet black, and maybe it looks like nail polish to normal eyes, but the Six Eyes know they’re pure keratin, only a color more suited to death than life.

Itadori is alive though. She’s flush with it, her cursed energy pulsing with a hunger that’s the unfiltered essence of life.

This woman, she’s—

“—stand now,” Itadori is saying, the words taking a moment to coalesce into sense in Satoru’s ears. “You’re shy.”

Satoru’s head snaps up. “Huh?!”

[abyssal-cryptid]

Even more Tears of the Kingdom thoughts (SPOILERS)

I cant figure out how long after Calamity this game is set. It's got to be at least some years, everyone else has changed but Link and Zelda

Link and Zelda have lived this time together in Link's house in Hateno <<33

Their Well holds Zelda's secret room

Also yes every well in this game has something so my favorite thing rn is just jumping into wells

Zelda had a school built to Hateno because she loves kids

I hate how so many people in this game who should know who Link is dont know him

You mean to tell Ive been living in Hateno for years and no one recognises me

Zelda is still referred to as princess which implies she hasnt allowed herself to be crowned queen

Ive spent like three hours just strolling in Hateno

I did get the camera and my enjoyment of the game has increased tenfold

HATENO TECH LAB HAS A RUINED GUARDIAN I REPEAT HATENO HAS A GUARDIAN REMAIN

Im so excited I missed seeing these everywhere

Purah's room has drawings of them and the divine beasts

You can just pick up the koroks who need to be reunited w their friends with ultrahand and carry them wherever they want to go. They also roll down hills

Me @ the forbidden ruins in Kakariko: "Let me in, let me innnn"

SIDON HAS A FIANCE

IM SO DISTRAUGHT

THEY SAW US SHIP LINK AND SIDON AND WENT "none of that here is his gf"

HUDSON HAS A DAUGHTER <<33

This game has cheese. I can die happy now

I am taking the elevator up every time I see a falling rock

Went to Akkala Citadel Ruins. Was looking at the views. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING GOES RED AND HANDS ARE CHASING ME WHAT THE FUCK

The way they dont let my boy have his long hair out on any fits is criminal. Could have tweaked the armor sets that much

Why is Zelda appearing everywhere and being an evil menace??? Zelda tf is going on w you?? Arent you supposed to be in the past

They looked at me, specifically, loving side quests more than my life and going "we have to give them more" and this is a good day

There's a golden horse???

Also I heard Yunobo is a dick in this??? Not my boy :(

I go to the Zora tower and there is a man nearly dead

ALSO OH MY GOD WHY DID ZELDA ATTACK KING DOREPHAN

Man was dying (Lets hope this doesnt age poorly because I dont think I could handle it)

So its been like five years at least since BOTW ended and like. Why does no one remember me and also where did all these new people come from that didnt exist here couple years ago?? Where were yall?? Having tea??

Kilton has a little brother <3

I should get back to the "first" main questline as in the Rito are dying in a blizzard but there's pretty flowers and mayoral elections

Did I already mention they did not nerf bows? They didnt and I love that, archers for life

Also I lost Hestu again and I need more inventory

I am afraid to venture into the Korok Forest

Stables are so fun. You get points from first visit, staying the night, registering horses etc AND THEY GIVE YOU REWARDS

I got the Traveler's Gear for General (my baby boy horse)

I found Big Horse and named him Babylon

Also saved this one guy stuck in a cave

Starting to get to a point where enemies drop 15-30 fuse power parts and life is getting easier

Ive activated like 20 shrines since I last did a bunch. I havent done them because what if I have to build vehicles (bad)

I miss cryonis

Havent done much in the sky tbh

I want my champions tunic. I however dont feel like going to the castle

Where the fuck is Ganondorf

I could always see him in BOTW I dont like this

I am kind of disappointed they didnt change the looks of old armor sets. HOWEVER. Cece's hat is all Im going to say. I wonder if I can wear that to Gerudo town

Im still a one shot to so many things

The Zora are dying (their water is turning into mud)

Gorons have malice pink eyes so dont trust theyre doing too well either

Barbarian armor fits so well with Link's messy long hair

Im still kind of shocked that the sheikah tech is just gone

How do I get into Hateno tech lab

Some of yall are actually building vehicles? Im avoiding that like the plague

Still salty about Sidon

I get taken for a little while and he gets engaged

His fiance did refer to Sidon as "my best friend"

The quote went "Im Prince Sidon's... oh forgive me. I am your best friend's fiancee"

She us cute but still

ALSO THEY MOVED MIPHA'S STATUE TO THE TOP OF PLOYMUS MOUNTAIN

THE ZORA'S DOMAIN STATUE IS NOW OF LINK AND SIDON

Why cant I marry him

Sidon carries Mipha's trident now (sobs)

When you meet him he goes "Its good to see you my friend" so happily

"By the way... I hope you know that I am truly happy to see you again after such a long time apart, my dearest friend"

I sobbed

He loves us so much

Just go visit him

Sidon wont marry me and Sonia and Rauru are married, cant a man find some love in Hyrule

[scatterpatter]

Thoughts on Age of Calamity so far

Still haven't beaten it so no spoils!!! Im on Chapter 6 I believe

I was honestly expecting Hyrule Warriors but with different areas and character, so lemme say it was a pleasant surprise to have it be ENTIRELY different gameplay/UI

As much as I love the fact that SO MUCH is taken from the botw UI(materials, the map, etc)... It kinda makes me just want to play Botw instead

You know the original HW was way easier to mow down groups of low-level enemies, whereas I've definitely noticed they take more hits here. Not necessarily a bad thing, but something I've noticed

A pro AND a con: ordering other PCs to fight enemies or go to outposts is great, but those PCs will make nearly 0 progress unless you're there to control them. While that kinda sucks, it's also much harder for enemies to capture outposts or kill your characters when you're not there, so like it kinda balances out

I've heard some people going "noooo the continuity!" But like, pffft. Literally Ocarina of Time had a gimmick where going back in time caused a new timeline. I'm not surprised whatsoever that AoC would do this

Tho I'm still a little surprised! I was just expecting a prequel game, but it kept me on my toes with this new timeline! Especially with the calamity arriving early aaaaaaa

I Would Die For Egg(I know it has a name but... Egg)

CONTROLLING! THE! DIVINE! BEASTS!!!!! Lemme tell ya I squealed when I got control of Vah Ruta for the first time. I hope we can get something like this in botw2

Okay I'm like... So Happy that the time travel allows the current champions to be able to show up and help out. Mipha and Sidon interacting gives me SO MUCH life. Also I can't believe this is a timeline where TebaXRevali can be canon.

I really like how each region has a meter that fills with the more deeds you do for people- idk it just feels rewarding to help people and makes you feel like the entirety of Hyrule is coming together

As much as I love Zelda, I'll admit they don't do MUCH to make her that likeable in botw. Like they spend more time going "take pity on her, things are hard :(" than actually giving you many reasons to like her. Now don't get me wrong, having a Zelda who struggles with her powers is SUCH a great narrative choice, but the writing falls short a bit in that it spends more time telling the player to like her and feel bad for her than actually giving the player much reason to like her and feel bad for her. AoC does this a lot better where you better see her struggles instead of just being told them... Though I would have preferred seeing more of her being a nerd with her research that really makes the player more attached to her, but whatcha gonna do

That being said! I really like the amount of cutscenes- like, hell yea give me character development let's go!!!!

Tbh all this is doing is making my expectations for botw2 go way up. Like I want BotW gameplay but with way more story like AoC... With That Horror We Saw In The Trailer

[thegeminisage]

hella spoilery zeldablogging from earlier tonight

feel kind of bad cause i had to look up the gerudo maze desert thing but i was SOOO close on my own

oh my god there's a lady over here by this shrine failing at cooking and all the recipes she teaches me give me dubious food

there are PILES of rotting garbage that have flies around them and the thing in the pot is sending up this black cloud of smoke lmao

wow the blood moon came in the middle of me clearing out an enemy camp :/

good god there's a stable out here in all this deep snow? how?? would the horses not, like, die?

aww beedle's here but he's cold ):

WOW you can upgrade the boy gerudo clothes but not the GIRL ones? that is SEXIST

oh noooo shield surfing DOES damage your shield i hate this i love my current shield what if i can't find another!!!!!

lol the ridge tower si surrounded by water and electric enemies. Great

omg i found the royal lab ruins ):

ok, i gotta begin prioritizing here

while i'd LIKE to complete all 120 shrines before i beat the game just for the armor, i don't think that's going to be possible - i haven't even unlocked some of them yet bc i don't have the snowballs or the quest takes so long

but the most important thing to me is memories

so after i check out all the ridge shrines on this map i'm gonna get the hyrule field map as well and get those memories

and i'll just save a lot and if i fuck something up and trigger endgame stuff i'll reload

god idk how to do this trial on the thunderplanes so like...im gonna let it be

see? i could never do all 120 before tmrw night

PLEASE this memory i just got was so cute zelda was being a nerd over plants and caught a frog she wanted link to eat :')

i love this zelda like i'm super not crazy about her voice actress sounding much older than i think of her as, and the fantasy british accent, but she has so much more personality than many of the others

ah, and i see now why she loved the silent proncess so...can't be grown domestically, only thrives in the wild

much like herself if you watch some of the other memories haha she feels trapped by her own destiny that's easy to see

i think it's super clever how even with a map you still have to look around for shrines bc they are hidden semi-underground

and i wish i had more time to stop and enjoy the little things like that, but i CAN come back and explore later, i can't unlearn a plot point

this spoiler fear might be a little baseless...tbh i also want to finish the main story tho bc like

i want it to be something i play in my free time, not something i obsess over 24/7 and HAVE to play and think about all the time

it's been a beautiful fun and absolutely life-changing experience but also it's been two weeks and i gotta get back to my actual life, i can't be Like This indefinitely

i'm kinda stunned that it took me this ling tbh? like, even skyyward sword was like a week and a half the first time iirc and i did that at like, a pace where i could stop and explore, i remember thinking how huge skyward sword was

omg im so glad i decided to ride epona down to where i need to go next rather than fast travel + walk bc 1. faster maybe? and 2. THE MAIN THEME PLAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON EPONA OVER THE NORMAL HORSE THEME i could weep

KASS IS BY THIS BRIDGE HI BUDDY I LOVE YOU

i solved the puzzle! this time im talking to him BEFORE i go in

he told me it was stupendous ;_; thanks pal

aw dude another memeory and it played the trailer music but

is zelda really only SIXTEEN about to turn seventeen? how old is link?? i guess under 21/18 if they wouldn't let him drink...

jesus, they're just babies ;_;

also, she quoted link's horse advice so like

this + the dialogue options gives the feeling that he does actually speak, you know? so as much as i love mute link i also like these glimpses into his personality as well, bc he's always been such a blank slate

he's empathetic, playful, sometimes downright goofy, and very tenacious - confident, but not in a cocky way, and obviously always a bit shaken when he gets a memory back

it's nice getting to know him a bit, even if you have to patch most of it together - kinda like narrachara lol

;w; it's so nice to have epona gallop over when i call her again

omg i think i found kass's house! i see his journal :3

haha i got this song "when the blood moon rises stand naked on that platform" ok nintendo

i wonder if you get all the puzzles do you get to tell him who you are ):

im tempted to unlock this one now lol

like, it takes a long time to get here and it's almost the blood moon

SIGH this is gonna take awhile but it'll save me time later

oh lmao it was JUST the blood moon so i'd actually have to wait a SUPER long time nvm tbh

well. welp. welly well well

i guess.......its time for hyrule field tower

Im Scared

wow. holy shit. i can see the great plateau from here...and it looks so small. i can see the temple of time, i can see the tower from which i first saw hyrule castle. i can even see the little path i nearly followed, when catching sight of my first moblin and becoming curious, before i got myself back on track. damn. Damn. i have come FULL CIRCLE, holy shit

and like, it's just the way i played it. hyrule castle for last. but you know? i love that shit. journeys ending the way they began. gets me in the feels every time

i'll be honest, THIS i could really stop and explore. forget those awful snowy mountains. this is where the #history is

oh god. i see a guardian down near that tower. please god don't let it be a mobile one

FUCK

i saw two still ones and relaxed and a mobile one snuck up RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND ME

[wheezing]

i don't wanna stop and grind but i worry i might HAVE to get some guardian armor before i can do this, even just one piece...!

i have a diamond circlet so all i'd need from the prof is the chest and/or legs........oh god. jesus fuck

motherFUCKER the range on those still ones, i wish i had been able to take them out...!

oh jesus i made it

this is it. final tower. thank fuck

there'll be more guardians, way more. i gotta at least check and see if i can afford some arrows without setting myself back further for the armor

i think i had all the mats i needed actually i just needed cash...maybe i can cook to earn some since i sold my monster parts

k, i only have enough gears for the chest OR legs, and i don't have enough rupees for either... :/

i COULD buy some arrows and still have enough mats for the armor but then i'd be setting myself back HUGELY re: rupees

ok, i FINALLY got the chest, jesus, now i can go back to hyrule field

altho it doesnt have any def and without even going to the fountain i know i cant upgrade it so rly is it worth it at all, but w/e

also, i read online that if you can learn the timing of parrying their lasers they go down REALLY easily but i suck so much at combat

i guess i'll just wear my anti-guardian stuff, i have daruk and mipha's abilities and fairies AND FAST TRAVEL if anything goes wrong

YES i did it holy FUCK

oh my god! three-shotted!

oh

i just climbed a small hill and got my first look at the rolling green plains...i missed you

no, no, i gotta go get epona to make this perfect, there's a stable i can warp us both to

omg it's the very first people i ever encountered outside the great plateau again

NOOO i hit epona when i was aiming for a monster baby i'm sorry!!!

i gave her an apple and some pats to say sorry ;w;

"legend says that an ancient voice resonates inside that sword...can you hear it yet, hero?"

frankly i'm glad they finally got their timeline shit together bc even tho the games are SO far apart im LOVING these continuity nods

yeesh, only two memories left but they're both RIGHT at the castle...im scared LOL

): i wouldn't feel right taking epona any further

reasons i never have money: cannot physically stop myself from buying arrows

oh, hyrule field is just beautiful ;___;

ohh god im scared

its fine its fine they wouldnt put a memory that close to the castle and then make you go back to impa if hat wasnt POSSIBLE its gonna be ok

awww no zelda sees link as a living reminder of her own failures?? whyyy

ha i love fighting guardians for the first time in ages im like COME TO ME LET US BATTLE

im uh. still working on the timing, but

oh JESUS

my mouth fell open in horror i climbed over a wall to get to the outsideish of the castle (castle town ruins, so says my map) and

the music was already creepy but jesus CHRIST

there's no color except for that blight evil goop stuff...no life...it's awful

poor hyrule, oh god

it's a lot like finding hyrule castle town devastated in oot when you first wake up, except of course this time we've nothing to compare it to visually, only emotionally...

i see a fuckton of guardians too so its a good thing i learned not to be scared of them

ok, god, i can do it, just one memory, i know RIGHT where it is

apparently the hylian shield is in here too and i am sooo sorely tempted

i mean if i have to get that fucking close anyway...

lord i googled it and apparently this memory is super hard to get you gotta Activate some shit but they did it this way they made it so you have to go back out i know i'll be able to come back out i WILL

ah, apparently you need to fight a stalnox for the hylian shield.ok. ok. good, great, Nice, Perfect

haha im soooo scared ;_;

ok, apparently the two paths are COMPLETELY different, so One Thing At A Time

we'll start with the memory, it's more important

tbh, i can't even bring myself to go in. i gotta go around anyway to get to the starting point of this path so i will

lmao i am almost PHYSICALLY ILL with dread this is SO stressful

JESUS

the music went all scary and the map is in 3D like a beast!! which i knew but it's so Much

and i got a cutscene of the calamity screaming with the Classic ganondorf theme i'm Dying how the fuck does anyone just get this memory and LEAVE holy shit

oh my god the main theme comes in!!! jesus

even ballad of the windfish a little?!?!

oh FUCK and ofc with the lightning

haha aww there's a "leave area" button on the map i can bail whenever i guess tat's reassuring

not yet!! i'm gonna have Courage

ohhh i dipped into a doorway just to wait for revali's thing to recharge and the music changed!! so i got scared and went back outside lol

oh god the higher you go the oranger the sky turns it looks like the blood moon jesus fuck

I MADE IT INSIDE

oh god, zelda's STUDY, the rooms all have names bc ofc they do

holder of the triforce of wisdom of COURSE she had a study she's such a nerd im crying i bet she loved it here and it's totally decimated

a silent princess sprouted in her study too ;_;

HER LULLABY IS PLAYING IN HERE IM GONNA CRY

oh good there's the memory!!

ohhh this picture of how it used to be is hurting my heart it was BEAUTIFUL

holy FUCK dude

ok old man is struck from my heart forever he was such a DICK to zelda no wonder he called himself a fool

link knelt right away but god damn i would have interjected on her behalf

you can't expect a person to pray 24/7!!!!

and deny her her passions, which are obviously machines and learning!

omg she has a journal in here and i almost missed it jesus

TODAY SHE MET WITH IMPA im cryin

omg this is her finding the sheikah slate!!!

jesus, and she found the shrine of ressurection too and hoped she'd never have to use it, and Yet...

oh GOD i hit leave area and it plucked me down in the middle of castle town nope nope nope fast travel outta there

ok to impa and then last memory i can do it and then do stream

and for once not play again afterwards bc to be quite frank i could never stress myself out this bad right before bed again, FUCK

hylian shield and all the rest of it tomorrow

h o ly fuck

he DIED protecting her, or he was going to, but she stood in front of him for once and finally unlocked the power, that's how she unlocked it, for HIM

i'm WEEPING and the sword made the fi noise from SS

even the sheikah warriors ran like sheik in smash bros

im gonna cry that was so much!!! there's so much continuity

fi is in TWO GAMES like...that was such direct referencing!!!!

SHE HAS BEEN FIGHTING ALONE FOR 100 YEARS jesus CHRIST she is SEVENTEEN

ok, im gonna watch all the memories in order and then quit for the night

i just realized the ceremony scene is where she mentions embers of twilight and adrift in time - putting us on the mm/tp timeline

aaaah im sad

god and i LOVE her princess dress i wanna see it in her classic pink why is everyone in this game blue??

so like, despite me not being crazy about zelda's voice ACTRESSS and the VOICE she's using, she actually does the best ACTING out of the entire cast

high key loving this zelda who is smart but has trouble with feelings, also

holy SHIT

ok so one of the first memories i got was of zelda coming down mt lanayru

amd it was badass and i enjoyed it

but there's SO much in there once you know more context

mipha was highkey about to spill to zelda that she was in love with link

revali's distain for link

urbosa seems less stern and more caring now that i know her better

now i know what zelda was trying so hard to do

"we have to keep trying until we find the thing that unlocks your sealing power [long shot of link]"

and "i'm not a child anymore" ofc it's bc she just turned 17! like link in oot!

oh man oh man

i love so much link's expressions in these serious moments especially that very last look into zelda's eyes before he "died"

it feels a bit like, with the other stuff i was talking about, i'm getting just a hint of character

and it's kinda close to My Headcanon but even if it wasn't i just like getting to know him

warped back to the temple of time & i'm leaving it there for the night

tomorrow: The End

(and my shield)