#it's me so you know the changed placements have a secret intention

[team7-headquarter]

Dropping the official teams for the first Konoha 12 come back mission. As a treat <3

Context:

The kunoichis of the Konoha 12 are back, but after so many years of working for Tsunade or spending time perfecting their clan techniques, they have to prove themselves.

The operation belongs to Konoha Police Force and is directed by Fugaku Uchiha. Since the whole goal is to prove that a) the kunoichis are capable of holding their on and b) they are loyal to Konoha, Tsunade can watch, but she cannot participate in any way.

Fugaku decided to separate the girls from their genins teams to truly test them.

Mission Status:

Konoha Police located a rogue nin base that they have been following for quite some time. The orders are to get in, neutralize the enemy, contain the situation, rescue any hostages and get out without casualties.

The Teams :

INFILTRATION TEAM — Kiba, Ino, Shino.

They're the first step. The "previously".

This team is full of deemed specialists in what one could call espionage. Be it shapeshifting, mind control or remote control of elements able to transfer information, they know how to get in, blend in, find the information they are looking for and get out as if they were never there to begin with.

Since they work mostly alone, they're some of the most in danger. There's also a myriad of unpleasant situations they'd have to participate in. Long range is preferable, either that or the type of subtle technique that can be used up close and leaves no evidence.

Unlike many other infiltration teams, this one focuses on details that no many would pick up on. Sound, smell, even your mind. No one is safe with them around.

EXTERNAL TEAM — Shikamaru, Tenten, Choji.

Once the infiltration team relies all the info they need, the external team sets in.

Their job is to prepare the operation so nothing would go wrong. They set a perimeter, fill the selected space with traps to avoid any enemy escaping, they lay the basics of the mission and connect everyone to the headquarters.

Although Fugaku is leading the operation, it's more of a supervision than anything else. The external team must control the scene with the parameters they were given.

Since they have to keep an eye on everything and everyone, there's often a specialist on every attack range (close combat, middle range and long range combat). They must be tricky and hard to evade, but also low-key enough that the enemy won't spot their exact location.

ATTACK TEAM — Sasuke, Hinata, Naruto.

They kick-start the real action!

( and cause everyone else a headache)

This team's job is to directly engage with the enemy, to both neutralize them and to provide a distraction for the retrieval team to act. They must be loud, they must be capable of being lethal, they must be capable of taking damage or at least capable of engaging for long periods of time.

In truth, the top requirement for anyone who wants to join an attack team is to be annoying and resilient. Attack teams don't really know what they'll find, for how long they'll have to fight or if the other teams would be available to give them any help.

Along with the unpredictability and endless energy of a jinchuuriki, the attention to detail and the battle IQ of an Uchiha, they have the high range vision and chakra blockage of a Hyuuga. Nothing screams Konoha like three of the best clans on the attack team.

RETRIEVAL TEAM — Neji, Sakura, Rock Lee.

The shifters. They can become any of the other teams if needed.

In a perfect scenario, they never engage with the enemy, follow the info provided by the infiltration team to get to the hostage, get the hostage out the place and into the protection perimeter set by the external team and repeat until everyone is safe.

In the real world, the retrieval team often fights their way to the hostage only to find one too many problems to fix at the second if they do want the hostage alive. They're the backup for every other team, they are the ones running in and out of the battlefield, as many times as it's needed. Although, while the hostage is alive and it's capable of being saved, they maintain their status and only the retrieval matters.

Long range is not really necessary, 'cause their mission is not to be noticed. They need to be fast as to not get caught and in case there's no way around it, close combat is a priority. They

[anonymityisfunwriter]

I Can See You

"And I could see you being my addiction, you can see me as a secret mission..."

Summary: You and Bucky don't see eye to eye, everyone knows that. They don't know that you and Bucky once knew each other under very different names. And they most certainly don't know that when he looks at you, he can still every stolen moment, his jacket on the floor, notes saying meet him at midnight, you up against the wall with him. No, they don't see that at all. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist | Anon's 1K Celebration

"I already told you, I'm only doing this because I owe you."

Six months - that was your promise.

Six months of your time and best efforts.

"And as a part of this favor, you promised to keep an open mind."

And an open mind, you begrudgingly recall. You promised you would keep an open mind about making this a more permanent placement.

Nick Fury was sure that you'd find a home here in the Avengers Compound.

You were fairly certain that you wouldn't - but you weren't going to tell him that.

You hated owing people. Nick Fury even more so. You could bide your time for six months to pay your debt to him. He didn't need to know you had no intention of becoming an Avenger. "Whatever you have to tell yourself, Nick."

"That doesn't sound like an open mind," he admonishes.

You smirk, enjoying the frantic hustle and bustle of the Avengers Compound with your duffle bag slung over your shoulder, "You know that I don't do well in teams. I don't play fair, Nick."

"Never heard that one before."

"But I bet you believe me, don't you?" you retort.

"Open mind."

You roll your eyes, waving him off, "Yeah, yeah, when exactly do I get to meet these self righteous assholes?"

"How does now sound?"

"Like my worst nightmare," you mutter under your breath.

If he heard you, he doesn't let it show. Nick flings the door to the conference room open, revealing two men standing beside each other poring over a case file.

It's not their impressive statures that catch your attention. In fact, the blonde one hardly catches your eye at all.

And if you weren't highly trained and disciplined, a gasp would've lodged itself in your throat at the sight of the brunette you never thought you'd see again.

"Ah, Nick told us we might be meeting you today." The sandy haired super soldier extends his hand out to you. It doesn't escape your attention that the brunette snaps the file shut the moment he sees you. "I'm Steve, Steve Rogers."

You return the gesture, still barely paying attention to the man. Your eyes flicker to Bucky. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was entirely unfazed by your sudden reappearance.

You're thankful you do know better. You know so much better. 

Bucky's eyes meet yours for a split second, they narrow slightly. It tells you everything that you need to know. You've caught him off guard.

Steve takes Bucky's silence as his cue to interject. He clears his throat, gesturing to his friend, "And this is Bucky Barnes. He's a, well, he's a man of few words."

Apparently, that hadn't changed since you knew him under an entirely different name.

"It's nice to meet you," you say to Steve. Your eyes flicker back to Bucky. His jaw ticks as a wide grin pulls at the corners of your mouth. He's worried that you'll give away his dirty little secret. Your eyes flash over to him, a mischievous gleam that Bucky doesn't miss, "The both of you."

Steve smiles at the change in your demeanor, "Nick filled me in about your little deal. Exactly how long is this trial run going to run?"

"Six months," you confidently reply, unabashedly staring at Bucky. "I'll be out of your hair in six months."

"But we're keeping an open mind, aren't we?" Nick urges you again.

You playfully roll your eyes, a beaming grin on your face, "Of course, Nick. You know, I don't know why, but suddenly, I get the sense that these next six months are going to be a hell of a lot of fun."

"That's an interesting take," Steve lilts.

"She's your problem now," Nick quips.

"Me? A problem?" you gasp in mock offense. You turn to Bucky, who's still yet to say a word. "Do I look like a problem, Bucky?"

Bucky's eyes narrow again. The muscle in his jaw ticks yet again. You swear you can almost hear the sound of his teeth grinding. It's almost enough to make you laugh.

The silence is palpable as Bucky glares at you. Steve nervously laughs, taking a step closer to you. He gestures to your duffle bag, "How about I show you were you can put your stuff down? We'll give you a chance to settle in and you'll meet the rest of the team first thing in the morning."

"Sounds like a plan, Captain."

"Just Steve is fine."

"See?" You call over your shoulder to Nick. "I'm already having so much fun."

You're not surprised that he came to find you minutes later. If you're right, he waited just long enough to make sure he wasn't being obvious. You don't even need to look over your shoulder to feel his lurking gaze far before you see him. "I can see you."

"Why did you lie?" Bucky furiously demands, standing in the doorway of your new bedroom.

You grin to yourself, still turned away from Bucky. "Nice to see you again, Soldat."

"Bucky," he firmly states, his hands curling into tight fists. "My name is Bucky."

"If I recall correctly, you liked when I called you Soldat." You turn on your heel, taking several steps toward Bucky. He knows he should stop you. He knows he should stay as far away from you as possible, as far away from your bedroom as possible. And yet, there's a side of him that wants nothing more than to feel you close to him all over again. He doesn't stop you. He doesn't push you away. Not even when you're close enough to touch him. "Or did it sound better when I whispered it in your ear?" You lean in, your voice dropping to a soft whisper in his ear, "My Soldat."

He does his very best to suppress the shudder that rolls through his entire body. It takes him a beat longer than it should to regain his senses and take a step away from you. He demands again, "Why did you lie?"

You chuckle, finally stepping away and allowing him his space, "Would you prefer I tell your team mates about your history of getting a little too close to your enemies?"

"What makes you think that they don't know?" Bucky challenges. 

You languidly shrug, "We'll call it a hunch."

"I'm not that person anymore." Bucky takes an angry step forward, desperate to convince you that he's a changed man. "I don't keep secrets anymore."

"So tell them," you offer. "What do I care?"

"You cared enough to lie," Bucky shoots back.

"If you want to let your team know that we used to fu-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence. I'm not that person anymore," he repeats himself. This time, he's not sure who he's trying to convince.

"Then we shouldn't have any problems, should we?" you rhetorically ask.

His eyes narrow, his gaze sharp and ready to kill, "What are you up to?"

"Me?" You gesture to yourself, resting your hand on your chest. "I'm not up to anything. Come on, Soldat, don't you trust me?"

"No, I don't because I know you, and you're always up to something," he bitterly accuses. "You've always got an angle."

"I assume you're talking about that day."

"You sold me out."

"You'll never see, will you?" You roll your eyes at him, waving him off, "I'm simply doing the favor that was asked of me."

"Six months?"

"Six months. And no one will ever have to know. Unless, of course, you can't help yourself."

He scoffs, "That won't be a problem."

"History has a tendency to repeat itself, Bucky," you state, putting an extra emphasis on his name.

"Not this time. Here's how this is going to go." He reaches out, snatching your wrist. His grip is tight enough to force you to pay attention, but not enough to actually hurt. "I'll stay away from you, and you're going to stay away from me. Got it? Let's just - let's keep this professional."

A grin spreads across your face. Your eyes flicker down to the burning grip on your wrist. You like that, even now, even after all these years, you still have an effect on the man you once called yours. "Don't worry, Bucky. I'm as reformed as you are."

That's exactly what worried him.

The months passed as quietly as Bucky could ever bring himself to hope.

Still, you never quite let it rest, never let him rest.

You always had a way of letting him know that you could see him. You could see how he was struggling to contain himself, struggling to suppress every flashback, struggling to simply keep his eyes off of you, struggling to contain all the feelings that he denied he felt for you.

He wondered if you knew that you kept him up all hours of the night. There were so many nights he spent sleep evaded, wondering what would happen if he just knocked on your door. Would you be up waiting for him? Would you smirk that smirk? The one he'd come to love and hate all at once. The one that was haunting him. The one he saw every time he close his eyes.

It wasn't just at night. It was every night. Every day. Every waking moment that you danced somewhere on the outskirts of his awareness. Every time you brushed past him in the hallway. You had to know you were driving him to the brink of madness. 

Sometimes, you barely acknowledged him. Sometimes, you gave him that infuriating smirk. Every single time, he saw it. Every single time, he saw you.

That part of his life was, for lack of a better word, scrambled. And still, he could never forget your touch. That part was crystal clear.

And he couldn't decide whether he loved or hated the fact that it might just be you doing that to him.

It ate at him.

It was a special gift you possessed, he had to admit. You could make him see whatever you wanted him to see, the power to ensnare his senses. The good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. You had the power to do it, to make him see whatever you wanted him to. He told himself that's what it was. It wasn't remembering a long lost love, it was you messing with his head all over again. 

He'd see flashes of the time you spent together once upon a time. His jacket on the floor. Up against the wall with you. Those old, crumpled notes telling him to meet you at midnight. He remembers every second of it. 

But most of all, you. He remembers every whispered sweet nothing. He remembers the anticipation he felt every time he saw you. And he remembers your touch. Your lips on his, trailing down his jawline. Your fingers running over the planes of his chest.

Deep down, he knew it wasn't your powers. It was you. There was no forgetting a touch like that. No forgetting a person like you.

It just another way you tormented him. So few ever escaped the Winter Soldier. Even fewer lived to tell the tale.

Not you. You not only lived to tell the tale, you taunted him with it. After that very first night, where he was, you were. He was never quite sure if it was glorious happenstance or your own doing.

Your very first encounter, you caught him totally off guard - something previously thought impossible. He didn't see you. He didn't hear you coming. He didn't feel you slip past him to reach your target before he ever could. All he remembered was hearing footsteps in the dark street. He knows for a fact you could've disappeared into the night without him ever knowing. He whirled around, searching for the culprit. He saw nothing, no one. 

It should've been quick, an easy kill. Instead, it was the first time he ever failed.

To this day, he swears that he heard your whispered laugh when he realized his target was gone, vanished into the night.

You showed yourself the second time. He was more prepared that time. Not ready for it, but more prepared. The first time his vision failed him, he sprayed the room with bullets.

"Uh, uh," you condescendingly tutted, allowing him to see you standing before him. "Can't get rid of me that easily, Soldat."

He saw you standing before him for a short moment, just enough to memorize your face. And then he lost all sight. You stroked his cheek, he remembers that. It was the first time you ever touched him. It was the most tender touch he'd felt in decades.

When he regained his senses, you were gone. Along with his target. 

The third time, he caught you - or you allowed him to catch you. He wasn't quite sure.

"Who are you?" he demanded, pinning you against the wall.

"Poor, Soldat," you cooed at him. It confused him. There was no fear in your voice. For some reason, he knew that if he released your arms from his iron grip, you wouldn't punch, scratch, or claw at him. You wouldn't fight back. You'd taunt him with your touch all over again. And for a reason that was more unknown to him, he really wanted you to. "They truly tell you nothing."

His sight was gone, but this time, he refused to let go. He gripped your wrists hard enough to leave bruises, pinning them over your head, "Let me see you."

"Say please." There it was that taunt that he knew would come. There was a lilt to your voice he'd never forget. In that moment he knew, he was powerless against you and your whims.

"Let me see you. Now."  He grips you even tighter. For a long moment, he still saw nothing. All he could feel was your body pinned against the wall, pinned against him. He softly exhales, his breath dusting over your lips, "Please."

He thought he memorized your face the first time you allowed him to see you, but he was wrong. There was so much he missed. He missed the slope of your nose. How soft and plush your lips looked. The mischievousness shining in your brilliant eyes.

He studied your face again. Over and over. Forcing himself to commit every detail to memory. Your smirk melted into the warmest smile he'd ever seen you wear.

You lean into him, as close as his grip will allow you to. So close that your lips linger a breath away from his. For a moment, he thinks you're going to kiss him. Instead, you speak softly, your breath skating across his lips, "I like you, Soldat. We're going to have fun."

His heart still stuttered. At the time, he didn't know what you meant.

He learned quickly after that.

It was the definition of a whirlwind romance - or as close to a romance as two assassins could possibly get. Long nights spent beside you. Jet setting across the globe for missions, just waiting with bated breath in the hopes that you'd be there. You never talked about what it meant, what you felt, all you had were those nights. Somewhere in those nights, he stopped being Soldat, and he started being your Soldat. 

So was it you? Were you the reason he could still see it?

Or was it him? Was it the fact that he could never really let those nights go?

He was a different person than the one you knew all those years ago. He was on the straight and narrow. He stayed out of trouble. You were the epitome of trouble. You sold him out the moment it was convenient for you. So why can't he let you go?

You caught him off guard when you showed up here. He was determined to make sure that didn't happen again. He just needed to be on his best behavior.

He knows you've been watching him - but he can see you, too.

You make a point to brush past him in the hallway on the way to the conference room. He thinks you can't see it, but you've been watching him closely.

You can see the waver of his Adam's apple, the way his eyes dart in your direction when you pass him, the way his jaw ticks shut as if he were doing his very best to contain himself.

Your days here on the Compound were dwindling down to your last few weeks. He still couldn't figure out why he couldn't let you go.

Even as he sits across the conference room table, you overwhelm each and every one of his senses. You pretend like you don't see him taking the seat directly across from you. Instead, you lean closer into Sam.

Sam grins at you. "So you can show me anything?"

"Anything," you promise, driving Bucky mad by using that torturous smirk on Sam. 

Bucky's not sure what Sam sees. It could be anything. A powder white beach on some far off coast. A meadow filled with fragrant, vibrant flowers dancing in the daylight. You could make him feel like he was plummeting to his death. You could make him feel loved for the first time in his life. You could let him know a betrayal like no other. 

He shakes away the runaway train of thought, focusing on the far off look in Sam's eye and the look of wonderment painting his face, "Whoa..."

"Bucky," Sam calls, his voice filled with laughter as you use your gift like a party trick. "Come try this! She's like a human VR."

"As tempting as that is," Bucky sarcastically remarks, crossing his arms over his chest, "I'd like to get this meeting over with."

"Alright, team," Tony calls out, beginning their latest team meeting. "Fury added another assignment to our docket. Black tie, intercepting a black market intel deal. You get in, you get out. Should be easy enough."

"Whatever you say," Bucky mutters under his breath.

"Barnes," Tony smirks. "I'm so glad you agree. You're up."

"What? Why?" Bucky demands. 

Tony nonchalantly shrugs, "Because I said so."

"Asshole," Bucky grumbles.

Tony's eyes flicker over to you next. In that moment, Bucky freezes. There's no way Tony know about the two of you, but it certainly feels like Tony's doing this just to punish him. "And you can take the human VR with you."

"No," Bucky sharply refutes, gripping the table so tightly he's sure Tony will have to get a new one. "I go, I go alone."

"Sorry, Barnes, we'll need more than brawn to get us into that gala."

Six months. Almost six months passed and he'd done everything in his power to avoid this. To avoid being alone with you. To avoid working in close proximity to you and the aura of temptation and betrayal that shrouded you.

The number of favors he now owed to his teammates was proof of it. He had no interest in testing the limit of his will power. "Then, I'll take Wanda."

Tony crosses his arms, shaking his head and looking far too pleased at Bucky's discomfort, "Nope, she's needed on a different assignment."

You smirk, tongue running over your teeth like a predator watching their prey fall into their trap. "Careful, Bucky, I'm starting to get the sense that you don't want to work with me."

Bucky's eyes dart to you, grimacing at you, "Whatever."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun."

"Bucky," Steve starts, tightly gripping his shoulder as the room filters out. "What's the problem?"

Bucky glowers at you as you saunter out of the conference room. Of course, you're far too pleased with this outcome. You make a point to grin at him as rage rolls off of him. "I don't trust her."

"Why? She's never given us any reason not to."

"Because -" Bucky starts, faltering after only a word. He can't bring himself to say why. That was between you and him. A memory he buried long ago. "Forget about it."

But he remembers. All of it. He remembers the moment you betrayed him and broke his heart all too well. 

"My Soldat..."

He sighs in relief, he finally stops pacing the floor of your safe house. You asked to meet days ago and you had yet to show up. Weeks had passed without hearing from you. You'd never gone this long without making yourself known. Finally, here you were, back in his arms where you would always belong,"It's been too long. I was beginning to worry."

"Don't ever worry about me, my Soldat." Your words are sharper than he's ever heard from you, it shocks him. You caress his cheek, fingertips trailing down to his jawline, your words soften to a gentle whisper, "Don't ever worry about me."

He bends down and kisses the palm of your hand, "I will always worry. For you, I will worry for as long as I live."

You smile, resting your hand over his beating heart. That's why you were doing this. You made deals with people you hated, resigned yourself to a life always looking over your shoulder, and sealed your fate, all to keep his heart beating, all to give him the long, happy life he deserved.

"And for that, you'll always be my Soldat." You kiss him with everything you have left. Your last kiss. A goodbye kiss. Because if you loved something, you set it free. If they came back to you, they would always be yours. And now, you were setting him free. And he would never forgive you for this. He would never be yours again. "And that's why it had to end this way."

"What are you talking about?"

You back away from the window of your safe house, "I'm sorry."

"What?"

And that's when the SHIELD agents swarmed.

It was a moment hard to forget. Yet it was equally hard to remember, to remember why he didn't trust you, to remember why he could never allow himself to let his guard down, not when you were so good at taunting him. He was sure you were taunting. He knew it from the very moment you stepped into the armory in a red dress that nearly stopped his heart.

You make it a point to saunter past him, tossing a laugh over your shoulder, "Don't worry, Soldat. I'll be on my best behavior."

"I won't hold my breath." Flashes of old memories race through his head. This time, he's sure it's you. His eyes snap up to you with a glower, "You said you were going to be behave."

"I said I was going to be on my best behavior," you correct, making a show of picking out your knives for the night. "This is pretty much as good as it gets."

"That's what I was worried about," Bucky sighs to himself.

"Lighten up, Soldier. It's my last night, I'd like to have just a little fun."

"Last night?"

"That was the deal."

Bucky's eyes dart away from you as you lift your leg up. The fabric of your dress slides up as you strap a small dagger to your holster. He knows you're doing it on purpose to rile him up. That's not what worries him. What worries him is if you're not doing it intentionally. If you're not trying to get his attention and he's just so viscerally aware of you that he can't stop thinking about you. That's what worries him. He doesn't trust himself enough to be this drawn to you. He clears his throat of the knot forming, "So you're not staying?"

"Why? You gonna miss me?" you tease. He remains silent, his eyes unflinchingly forward. "Let's not kid ourselves, Bucky. You didn't want me to stay. Too risky - I might ruin your squeaky clean reputation."

He's absolutely certain that you're the only person that's ever referred to his reputation as squeaky clean. "You're really leaving?"

"It's okay, Soldat."

"I told you not to call me that," Bucky snaps. He's aware that his self control is slipping minute by minute. Every second in your presence is a test of his restraint.

"Do you still remember? Can you still see it in your mind? Or do you need me to show you?"

"Stop." He barks the second a flash of the memory starts playing in his head. He can see himself tossing his jacket on the floor in a frenzy. "That's enough."

You smirk that damned smirk at him again. His fist clenches tightly, the knuckles of his flesh hand white with strain. "You're thinking about us right now, aren't you?"

He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to push the image out of his head, he frantically shakes his head, "Stop it."

"Do you want to know what I'm thinking about?"

"Not particularly," he rasps.

"Liar."

He clenches his jaw so tightly that he's worried he might break a tooth or two as he desperately tries to hold onto his last ounce of self control. He's fighting a losing battle. "I'm not a liar."

"So what would you do? If I touched you right now?" You rest your hand against his chest. "If I got just a little bit closer?"

He hopes you can't hear his heart stutter. "I - I wouldn't do anything."

"What if you knew they would never find out? If we were so quiet and we didn't make a sound?"

"It wouldn't change a thing."

"What if I told you I remember it all? Every night. Every mission. Every time you kissed me."

"I-" His voice falters. Now was his chance. This was it, whether he wanted you to stay or go. Would you stay if he admitted that he never stopped thinking about those stolen moments? Or would you betray him all over again and laugh in his face and smirk that damned smirk with pride at bringing him to his knees? He can't put his finger on it, but in this moment, he doesn't care. He'll take the chance. He swallows the knot in his throat, "I would tell you I remember all of it."

Your hand twitches against his chest. "What?"

"I remember every second. I'll never forget any of it. I could just never figure out: Was any of it real?"

"Can't you see, my Soldat?" Your hand skates past his collarbone, up his throat, coming to rest on his cheek. Your hand caresses him with a tenderness he thought he would never feel again. "It was always real. Every moment of it."

"Then why did you do it?" he softly exhales.

"I had my reasons."

He lunges forward, and in the blink of an eye, he's gripping your wrist and pinning it to the wall behind you, "Tell me."

You grin wildly. You've been here with him before. "Arrogant as ever, Soldat."

"If it was real, why did you do it?" he demands, flexing his grip.

You lick your lips, momentarily debating whether or not to give him the truth. It ate at you for years. From afar, you could live with the knowledge that he might always hate you for what you did. Watching the conflict warring in his eyes was an entirely different battle. You figure, of all the things you could give him, the truth would at least give him some sense of peace. "It wasn't safe."

He loosens his grip slightly, "I would've protected you."

"It wasn't safe for you."

His eyes flash open. "What?"

"You were my mission, Bucky," you finally confess. "There was never anything else - anyone else. It was you. Only you."

He lets go, the shock sending him staggering. Your hand skates down the wall, but he doesn't move back to allow you the space to move. "You were sent to kill me."

You tilt your head at him, "I clearly failed."

"That doesn't explain why you betrayed me."

"Someone found out about us."

He shakes his head, his eyes storming with anger, "No, we were careful."

"Someone knew. I got a nice gunshot in the back to prove it. They knew I wasn't going to complete my mission. They knew I was never going to kill you. I wasn't going to lead them right to you. I didn't know who was watching. I wasn't - I wasn't going to gamble your life until I was sure that they were all gone."

The realization dawns on Bucky almost immediately. Sure, you were one hell of an assassin. Sure, your powers were beyond belief and could take down even the most heinous villains. But not even you could singlehandedly take down the crime syndicate you used to work for. An organization almost as massive and pervasive as HYDRA was. That's why you put yourself in Nick Fury's debt. You did it for him. "That's why you owed Nick Fury. That's why you sold me out." 

"As twisted as it sounds, you were safer in SHIELD's custody. The moment I knew you were safe and in custody, I killed each and every one of them."

His voice is hoarse as he speaks, "You should've told me."

"I wasn't going to risk your life just so you wouldn't think badly of me."

"Then why did you come here?" he demands. "If you had no intention of telling me the truth, if you were going to pretend, why ask to come here?"

"I didn't ask to come here. I didn't know you were here. I stopped looking for you some time ago."

"Why?"

"I dug deep to finish what they started. And once I tore them down brick by brick, I needed to rebuild. I had nothing left. It took me a while to resurface."

"Oh." There's a tightness in Bucky's chest at your confession. He never looked for you. He though you betrayed him. Up until now, there was no reason to believe anything else. You rebuilt your life on your own. You had no one, nothing left. You were left all alone. He left you all alone. 

There's a strange look in Bucky's eye when you finally look up at him. There's a lightness you haven't scene in quite some time. "What?"

The corner of Bucky's mouth twitches up. You may not have known, but Nick Fury sure did. "Fury knew I was here. He knew where he was sending you. He knew about... us?"

"I assume he figured it out when I came to him, begging him to help me keep you safe."

A shaky exhale dances across your lips. Bucky closes the gap between the two of you, pressing you up against the wall with him. "It was real."

For the first time in a long time, you touch him. You rest your shaky hand against cheek, your fingers ghosting over his lips, "Finally, you see, it was real... my Soldat."

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist Bucky Barnes Masterlist

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes@beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a

[icyg4l]

PAC: What Would Happen If You Had a Friend Like You?

Hello beautiful people! I thank you guys so much for the support I’ve received over the past couple of months and even this past weekend. I will continue to make content that resonates with my collective. I am delivering my new PAC as promised, even though it was supposed to come out last night (oopsie lol). Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy this one. It is inspired by tears and frustration of those who feel taken for granted in their friendships (including myself). Please don’t hesitate to book a reading with me if you would like to receive a personal reading. Without further ado, please select your pile.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile One: If you had a friend like you, PIle One, I think that you would meet them while working/interning for a company. I think that this person would be the fresh air to the heavy atmosphere surrounding y’all. I see that you are both sophisticated professionals who know how to handle conflict calmly for the most part. It’s hard for you both to “pop off” and this may be a problem within you guys’ friendship. You both must learn how to be okay with not letting things go off the hook. You must be intentional with the way you navigate or you will be screwed over every time. I feel that if you had a friend like you, you would be very suspicious of this person because you can’t put a finger on why you feel this way. This person will be equally suspicious. But once you actually talk to each other, you will share stories and experiences regarding business ideas, your dream career environments, many of you will bond over being the only women at work and even sharing secrets about your family dynamics. I could see that you will run a business with this person and it will be successful. It may take a while to hit this bump but it’s definitely possible. Lastly, beware of oversharing too soon or jumping to conclusions. Take it slow, babe. There will be slip ups between the both of you but it’s best that you become strict with yourself on what it means to have a healthy friendship.

Cards Used: Queen of Cups, The Chariot, The Emperor, The Tower (RX), 9 of Wands, 6 of Swords 

extras: nipsey hussle. “motivate” saweetie. moldavite. overbite. 

Pile Two: It’s very interesting how your story will play out, Pile Two. It’ll be a story to tell your grandchildren. So what I am getting from your pile is that you will meet your other half during a breakup. But the thing is, this person will partially be the reason for your breakup. I see the scenario of women getting played by a guy. The movie ‘John Tucker Must Die’ comes to mind. Also, the storyline between Teddy, Spencer and Skylar from Good Luck Charlie comes to mind. You guys will find comfort in each other during this painful period. Many people would stay away from “the other woman”, but you won’t because your situation is unique. I feel like if you are dealing with someone right now, they have two sides to them. They could have air sign placements. I feel like when you come face-to-face with this person, you will not feel any sort of anger or resentment towards them. You will cry in this person’s arms and immediately feel at home. But you should know that once you feel that you want to move on from this, the bond that once existed will change and this change will more than likely not be taken lightly. So enjoy your time with this person for the moment being, Pile Two. Have conversations with this person about how the dynamic will change overtime to prepare for it.

Cards Used:The World, 3 of Swords, Two of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, King of Cups (RX)

extras: igbo tribe. medulla. voguing practice. thelma and louise. grief counseling. hideous bangs.

Pile Three: I feel like this group is into music. You may want to move to one of the music capitals like Atlanta, Nashville, New York or Miami to pursue a music career. In my third eye, I am seeing snippets of the pilot episode of ‘Star’. The premise of the show is the formation, trials and tribulations of a girl group. There are two sisters and a best friend that are in this girl group. During the pilot, the blonde sister has to physically fight her sister’s abuser to bring her to Atlanta so that they can move to Atlanta with their aunt. After this, they are proactive in jumpstarting their career even with drama, drugs and whatnot clouding their future. Now, I feel like your friend will obviously be a newcomer in the music industry as well. It is best if y’all work together. I see that if this person has a kid, you will be the child’s godparent. I also see some notoriety, fame and recognition coming with this person once you all decide to work together. This will only happen because y’all collaborated; if y’all went solo, the same result would not happen. But you need to be aware of doing things in vain. You and them both need to think about each other because the spotlight can blind people’s true intentions. Think clearly. But I feel like y’all would actually be friends for a long time despite any differences that may occur because of vanity. There’s chemistry that y’all have with each other that you will not have with anyone else so cherish each other while you all are still here.

Cards Used: 10 of Cups, Four of Discs (RX), The Star, The Empress, 8 of Cups, 6 of Wands, King of Wands 

extras: girl groups. ‘musically inclined.’ music industry. tlc. money grab. “cut the check.” “ain’t shit sweet.”

Pile Four: And last but not least, Pile Four. Your situation will involve meeting someone who is also addicted to something. You have their vices so do they. I am channeling the energy of Edward Norton and Maria Singer. They are liars. They show up at AA meetings for fun and catch each other in a lie. I feel like this friendship will be about holding each other accountable. I am also channeling Rue and her sponsor, Ali. They have an uncle-niece relationship. I believe that you all will have a significant difference in maturity. And this will be the reason why you bump heads. Someone believes that they know more than the other person because they’ve been doing it longer or they don’t believe that their vice is worthy of being taken seriously. Now, this vice could be drugs, sex, over/undereating, online shopping, gambling, playing video games, etc. Now, when you meet this person, you will be put off because you won’t know any better. But this person will leave a strong impact on your life. It is best that you keep them around because you won’t know what you got till it’s gone. Taking this person for granted will be the worst thing that you can do because there is no one else that will hold you accountable like them, Pile Four. 

Cards Used: 9 of Discs, Princess of Cups, Temperance, 6 of Wands, The High Priestess, The Hermit, 9 of Wands 

extras: low fade haircut. burning hair. electric slide. goal chaser. fear of death. close call. chewing ice.

[astro-rainbow777]

Astrology Observations

Volume I

Disclaimer: Please take these with a grain of salt as I am not a professional. These are just some of my observations I’ve seen from studying random people in my life. I hope you enjoy💕

💐I know someone at work with a Taurus stellium and one of her Hinge posts says her love language is gifts, and said (jokingly I hope) that she would preform sexual favors for a guy if he bought her m&m’s lmao. She also was hooking up with this guy at our work, that she had no intentions on dating, and would get sooooooo possessive if she saw him talking to any other girl. She also talks about being possessive all the time with her “play” friends ;)

🍬 I have my 6th house and Taurus and work with sooooo many Taurus placements. I chart 75% of my coworkers and the ones I talk to the most have Taurus placements, kinda cool.

❤️‍🔥As a Scorpio Moon I’ve found myself really drawn to and appreciative of the Aries Moon nature. They are so direct & assertive with how they feel. I appreciate this so much because I don’t ever feel the need to worry if they are hiding anything from me. Especially when you really get to know an Aries moon, what you see is what you get. They also validate and encourage me to express my big feelings which makes me feel so safe! As a lot of you know Scorpio Moons can be very secretive with our feelings because they can be so big and scary to others. The last thing we want to feel is ashamed for how we feel things and Aries moons get that, and they genuinely don’t hold a grudge against you for anything you say whenever you’re emotional. Just having that type of energy in a connection makes healing and growing in a relationship 10 times easier for us! Thank you sm to the Aries Moons out there! Just to add the 2 Aries Moons I am close with have Scorpio in their personal placements as well….if you don’t relate maybe that’s why lol

👽Scorpio & Virgo in big 3 🤝 Being the most observant people you will ever meet in your life! They pick up on the teeniest little things ever, for ex. If you have a stain or wrinkle anywhere on your clothes that’s the first thing they will pick up on. Also this combination is usually not a fan of change from my experience. Like if you move something from the “correct” place 4 inches over they will be like “Why are touching my shiz brah?”-Never fails. They like the routines and the consistency. They will literally spot a bird 10 yards away and be like omg is that a gRey-WIngEd trUmPetER?!?!! And I’m like how??? How did you even? These people notice everything, probably a great investigator too-same with Gemini/Scorpio placements!

♟️I promise you Virgo placements care about doing something “correctly/right” more than you do- even whenever it doesn’t directly effect them. They are so funny in the way that they operate I love them 😂 If you ask a Virgo to hang up a picture on the wall- please make sure you have a leveler!!!! They will spend 15 minutes minimum making sure that it’s even, if you don’t provide the necessary tools they will rehang something until it is perfection! Once a Virgo was doing a double nose piercing on me and kept redoing the mark of where she was going over and over and over again just to make sure it was perfectly even with my other piercing. Which I appreciated but I could tell if I left the shop with a lop sided nose ring it was going to bother her more than it would me! Very Wholesome peeps- ily guys fr 💙

☮️Gemini Venus’ do tend to be pretty loyal from my experience- but if they are bored or in an unfulfilling partnership they have the tendency to mentally cheat like doing tarot readings to see if their ex still thinks about them type of shh 😭Also the type to gossip about their partner or make up rumors about their relationship. Then they go home to their boo and act like nothing is wrong? 7th house Gemini tho can be very flighty whenever it comes to intimacy (I have this placement)- I am extremely loyal but if me and my partner get into a fight I’m prepared to break up always. I have a 7th stellium tho so I’m not sure how y’all would relate or not 💗

🏖️Leo moons NEED a creative outlet in order to be emotionally fulfilled imo! They thrive having their own little show-from what I’ve seen with these guys they love having a hobby they can share with the world and regularly be the center of attention. No joke-these people are some of the most talented beings I have met in my life! They 100% have a gift or a niche they get a lot of positive attention for and desire to share with the world. Every Leo moon I have been close with loves to perform for their loved ones- it is so wholesome like they are sharing a part of their soul with you⛲️

🐟Heavy 12th house placements (mainly Mercury & Venus) read poetry regularly or relate a lot to poetry. Even if it’s like little Tik tok or instagram posts. I’ve also noticed these guys like to just have books-even if they don’t read regularly? I lived with a 12th house Mercury w/ Neptune in the 1st house and they like to read poetry but only whenever they are depressed. I think that this individual in particular also just really likes for other people to think that they are super poetic themselves. They like to talk about poetry and the arts but I’ve lived with them for almost a year and they rarely do artsy things. Venus in the 12th though genuinely loves poetry and regularly reads it. Venus in 12th is also BEAUTIFUL AF but thinks they have nothing to offer most of time? Like I don’t understand. Blind to their own beauty but so quick to see everyone else’s. Angels 😇

🦀As a Cancer stellium (Mars, Venus, Jupiter) in the 8th, I have lied to people about how I am feeling, or what I am doing as a form of emotional protection. I used to rarely let my friends and family know how I am doing-especially if I’m doing bad. I regularly feel bad for being upset with others, and it leads me to just completely abandon emotional honesty if I don’t think someone will take to my feelings/boundaries well. I AM SENSITIVE AND DELICATE and I’m also damn good at hiding it for I have thine Scorpio Moon in 12th🧚‍♀️ People only know what I want them to know- I’m in therapy guys! So please don’t worry about me 🥸

🌝P.S. happy cancer season reeeeee

I hope you enjoyed my first lil observation!!!🎉

I encourage feed back and kind constructive criticism! Please lmk how you felt and how you relate! Let’s connect! Let’s talk! Mwah 💋

Ty sm for reading 💕

-Kya

⬇️FEAST YOUR EYES FOR THIS IS MY NATAL<3

🌈 I LOVE RAINBOWS 😇

[libbee]

Marry a Venus in 8h or Scorpio

While Scorpio and 8th House have some similarities: need for transformation, interest in deep and dark matters, intensity of emotions; they are still different as in 8th house deals with other people's money, a secretive life, lots of secrets, dealing with partnership, death and rebirth.

What is seen with these natives, especially ladies, is that their relationship or marriage is never "stable". You see how ladies like to flaunt their husbands, post pictures and how much they love their partner to social media and be in public eye? But these natives are the kind to hide their relationship. As if it is not true love if it needs public approval. Also, we see how couples stay the same way 5+ or 15+ years later as if nothing has changed; but for these 8th houser couples, they reborn so many times that they don't even know who they were 5 months back. Two different types of lives!

Here, the wife and husband/girlfriend and boyfriend are both cynical type, suspicious, reading people, their intentions, behaviour, motivations, emotions. They never relax until they get to the root of any matter and then pick another matter and question, question, question everything. Trust is important to them, even more than euphoria of love.

Why Trust?

Their life theme is usually that their childhood and relationship history are such that it is twisted, confusing, as if they were sleepwalking through a relationship and never really there. For this reason, when the relationship finally breaks down, they begin to realize how it was all just a delusion! Here, a relationship or situationship is the catalyst to bring all childhood memories to the surface and healing is a prerequisite to a better improved relationship. But all this is not easy! When they awaken from the state of "sleepiness" then their reality is shifted! Oh, I missed that red flag! Oh-he was keeping secrets from me! Oh, that was manipulation tactic! Oh, he was just like my father!! Their reality is shattered and results in cognitive dissonance, chaos, breakdown, obsessive rumination, ego dissolves, problems with self concept come to surface. "Healing" for them means to work on their Self Concept, that is, identity, confidence, self respect, boundaries, getting rid of emotional brain fog, learning what a relationship is supposed to look like, learning individuation.

8th house Venus is natural shadow worker. She intuitively knows the traits, flaws, faults, motivations, darkness and morbidity in other people. But her tendency is to integrate those dark parts in herself which is why 8H dissolves the boundary between right and wrong, bad and good, moral and immoral. To understand herself, she understands other humans. Not just the light and positive parts but the psychopathic, criminal, morbid, terrifying, scary human psychology. It is like food to her soul, to know the suffering and pain in the world. A sadist or a spiritually awakened being?

Since cognitive dissonance is a big thing for her, her no 1 priority in relationship is someone whom she can trust. Someone who will maintain her reality, will be honest, give her emotional security and keep her mentally stable. A dishonest or deceptive lover is her nightmare because the chaos of "figuring out my boyfriend" will drain her. She needs someone who is transparent and self aware so that her emotions are stablized and fears under control.

Husband

Like attracts like. Boyfriend/husband himself is mirror to these ladies. He is also suspicious, cynical, peeling layers of emotions, craving depth, has unstable self concept unless he is actively working on it, jealousy and possessive are not cute things, they are symptoms of weak Self concept. Since both parties are similar in nature, they understand each other. But not every marriage is that fulfilling! Sometimes partners are really incompatible or the awakening never happens, 8th house never activates. So, just 8th placement is not enough but the timing and dasha will determine how spiritual, healer, psychic they are.

Partner may have this past history, all or any of them:

Man with trauma, dark childhood

Loving a man with dark past

Scapegoat of his family

Fragile masculinity, emasculated by society

Emotionally neglected by his parents

Her man needs healing, security and understanding

He is a hunter type, fears abandonment, controlling

Mommy issues, his mom was a dragon, devours him, he is afraid of his femininity

Man is psychically penetrating, hyperalert, always reading the room, sensitive to energy, psychic types

Most Important

If Venus is in 8th house, this marriage is life changing. Transformative. Significant status difference between maiden life and married life. "Woah! She married that gentleman! He is so rich." Like in Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett marries Mr. Darcy who is high class, wealthy and royalty type. There is something luxurious, old money, typical about this marriage. A typical politically connected or socially prestigious family. Sometimes people say 8th house is Karmic, fated, to let go control, money owed to them. I wonder if it is their husband who is paying back her debts to her? Is that why marriage transforms her life? Is marriage a karmic contract to pay back her loan given to husband? Perhaps it is.

Forced to Inner World

At some point in her life, she realized that her life was not quite same as others. She got aware of "psyche" something which has no evidence and is not scientific or physically seen. But for these natives, they are intuitively aware of psyche and how it surrounds us everywhere. In Man and His Symbols, Dr. Carl Jung says how the primitive people were so unconscious that they simply acted on their impulses and the images they saw in their head. They even thought that the animals and trees were their soul/spirit and were deeply submerged in the unconscious. 8th house is like that state of unconsciousness and then you come to awareness with a shock and again go back to unconsciousness. We are living in a flow state and only when something crisis, emergency or catastrophic happens that we awaken and soon go back to the flow state. That "awakening" is the hallmark of this house.

Another thing to be seen here is that these natives are forced to live in the inner world. They do not choose spirituality but have no choice - are forced to choose it. Since their emotions and conscience are quite sharp, they "feel" their way through life. (Trigger warning death) Let's say you killed your parents' dog accidentally and hid it in their own backyard and then lied about it to your parents when they asked where dog is. As the days go by, you feel that regret growing larger and larger. It creeps on you, eats you from inside, feels heavy in your body. That "I did something wrong" feeling never goes away. Imagine living with that feeling 24x7, that is your conscience.

For these natives, their conscience is just hyperactive. It is their guide through life. If they dismiss their conscience, they are faced with external consequences in physical life. There is a saying "As above, so below" which fits to these natives, which means that the inner life and outer life are just the reflection of each other. If we sit back to think about the past, we realize how everything is connected to everything else. That nothing was random. Self-reflection and pattern seeking are highlighted in this house. Any planet that is placed in 8th or 12th house is partially submerged in the underworld and the only way to maintain a life is to dig that "hidden" something. Occult tools, psychoanalysis, reading people, meditation are really helpful to make the unconscious comprehensible. This way they can even avoid the unnecessary unpreditable sufferings of this house.

I have seen how native if lives absent mindedly, without thinking of their actions, they always face instant karma in physical life or the psychic life. In psychic world, they feel guilt, unexplainable regret, negative emotions, shame, depression, etc. If they ignore these symptoms for too long, it will all explode with a blast BUT the healing will finally begin. For the sake of your mental stability, keep doing self reflection and avoid unnecessarily events and suffering.

It takes some time and understanding to realize what Self awareness means. The society we live in, cultural and social behaviours are contrary to self awareness. We live in an extraverted, materialistic, narcissistic society; you have to just be opposite of that -- introverted, spiritual and empathetic. These natives are not born healers, they are wounded healers. They may even feel external locus of control and surrender to psychic forces because their life is just so stormy.

My only advice is: To keep your eyes open! Just because your friends or some celebrities can indulge in behaviours and get away with it, it does not mean that you can too. Instant Karma is something that happens in 8th housers life a lot. Once you identify it, you can then change your behaviour and language to avoid these suffering.

[jyeshindra]

Astrology Testimonials (I)

Hey y'all! I'm doing a new series on my blog where I document my personal testimonials of how I have experienced my particular placements. This way, other people can gain insight on how astrology manifests for the individual and those who share similar placements may compare.

On being Jyeshta Moon

A big theme with Jyeshta is authority and power. Jyeshta often rises to some position of authority over the course of their lives (Naomi Campbell, Donald Trump) and if they don't this theme of power/authority will present itself somehow.

For me, I have always witnessed power being abused! Whether it was in my own home or in work environments, this has repeatedly come up in my life. My father controlled the emotional climate in my home but was cold and emotionally absent. He misused his authority as a parent to control and constrict his home and failed to fulfill the duties of his role (no shade, Dad! Love you!)

When he passed away, I learned about his secrets from my mother and through the events that took place after. Mismanagement of our finances, adultery, and other scandals emerged, which continued this theme in my life. More happenings of my father misusing, abusing his authority. My mother isn't entirely innocent either but I won't shade her here (lol).

I was hungry for money when I came of working age and came in and out of a lot of different fast food positions. I would rise to the position of manager quite easily (another Jyeshta theme) and constantly witness my bosses and fellow managers mishandle or abuse their power. (iykyk, ff industry can be very toxic and abusive)

Because my father passed away at 13 and I learned his secrets between that age and 15, I spent much of my teenage years having this deep awareness that power could be misused. I would see it in institutions, in my teachers, at school, among my peers. In the world...hell, everywhere! Also, as a black person, I am no stranger to systemic oppression--another abuse of power. This too has given me a lens to engage these Jyeshta themes.

Such experiences then manifested as a deep mistrust of authority and by extension, my own authority. I have a difficult time believing people in power and at times have an unhealthy amount of skepticism within my mind. I feel at times I have seen too much. It can make me hopeless and almost corrosive inside. Thankfully, my Pisces sidereal placements (Revati) balance out my cold pragmatism.

All that being said, I am changing. And I am making space for a different framing of power. I am reclaiming my own now as I enter young adulthood (I am 22 years old!). I will always have a bit of a thirst for power. I can't describe it. I just know I'm meant for it. It suits me. And I know that all these insights on how power has been abused has cultivated a deep belief that if power chooses me, I will try to wield it responsibly.

So, I do everything with intention. Everything. I lead with intention. I love with intention. I speak with intention. I pray with intention. I manifest with intention. I do my best to be mindful and aware.

Those who use their power over others do not understand themselves. There is something in their hearts that is wounded and something in their minds that distorts their cognition. Wielding your power to abuse, lie, cheat, manipulate, hide, extort, abandon, indulge, etc. is an indication that healing is necessary. Rehabilitation is necessary. A change is needed--more love, is needed. And if that change is not sought, karma will come. This, I believe.

-jyeshindra

[lifeonmarz-blog]

8TH House Synastry 💋

🖤 Sun-

Manipulation is the game. If someone's sun is in your 8th house their likely create illusions around how you view them. They may put on a mask initially and show want they want you to see. There's a battle of the ego. This type of interaction will change your public image. It may seem like this person's intentions are hard to read.

🖤 Moon-

The moon feels something new here. It's exciting and may come at a time where your in the energy of exploration. This placement will make you feel free or very restricted. A lot of healing can happen here, your intuition will be activated. This person could expose you to a lot of new people and experiences.

🖤 Venus-

Obsession,Obsession,Obsession! This is another placement that feels very exciting for better or worse. This placement will really bring people together for the long haul but there has to be balance, it may feel very tempting to spend every moment together but having your own life is important. The Venus person may overly extend themselves and give too much. The house person can become greedy and ungrateful. If the love and passion in this relationship isn't healthy this can become a very dangerous situation. My ex was a SUPER STALKER our relationship was so ghetto. His Venus was in my 8th.

🖤 Mars-

The Mars person wants to know all of your deepest darkest secrets. They may pry into your life in a very abrasive way. The sex is transformative and addictive or completely repulsive. Insecurities are very noticeable on both sides you cant hide it from them. Victim and savior role playing is typical here. This placement will transform you. I've had this twice and one of the guys really mirrored how I've been in other relationships and showed me how my temper was. He made me want to change bc i was just like "ew" this cant be how i act.

🖤 Mercury-

Mercury Person will either lie to you like no other or expose you to completely new ways to view the world. They could become like your guru. Helping guide you on your path with new ideas and experiences. They could teach you new ways to interact with other people. On the other hand Someone's mercury in your 8th house could literally drive you crazy. Having you question is it you or them? This could be a person who talks about you behind your back.

Follow for part 2! xxooxooo LUVOFMARZZZZ

[padfootagain]

Something Good (XVII)

Chapter 17 : Somewhere in My Youth or Childhood

Hello! Here is a new chapter for my Ben Barnes series!

THIS IS IT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY ARE FINALLY GETTING THEIR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!!!! I’m so excited, I hope you like this chapter so much! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Fluff,  Slow burn, professor AU.

Summary: Coming out of a divorce and trying to get used to being a single mom, while teaching your classes at University, you thought your life could not get more complicated than it already is. But when you are asked to take care of the theatre club with the colleague that you really can’t get along with, you realize that everything can still get ten times more complicated in your life. And when you start actually liking Professor Barnes, the troubles only grow exponentially…

Word Count: 3342

Masterlist for the series – Ben Barnes’ Masterlist – Main Masterlist

There was so much to do for the theatre club, still. So much to do and so little time.

Booking up the theatre so you could work on stage was a brilliant idea, and you were grateful to Ben for thinking about this. It helped tremendously settle the songs, write the scenes, imagine the placement of the actors.

Still… Something Good remained a tough song to stage. You didn’t have enough time to finish planning the scene with the students, but Ben and you agreed to spend a part of the afternoon working on this, just the two of you. So, at the end of the afternoon, you stayed a little longer, asking your mother to watch over your daughter for you while you and Ben worked on the song.

You had decided with the whole group to add the song at the beginning of the relationship between Satine and Christian. Before the real troubles hit them both, while their love was still a secret. It was a hopeful tune, after all. One of love, and there was no reason to change that fact. Still, the staging, the intention, the movements of the actors… it was still a struggle, as Ben and you stood there at the edge of the stage, staring blankly at the empty space.

“Alright… then maybe we can have the two characters coming in from this side…”

“It won’t do…”

“I know.”

You looked at Ben, who was remaining perfectly calm while you were losing your patience bit by bit.

There ought to be a way to play this scene and to make it look good. You simply had to find it…

“I think we should have a very simple choreography for this,” Ben said, looking around the empty stage. “Maybe they shouldn’t even dance before the second half of the song.”

You looked around as well, imagining the staging, with full set and costume, lights, music…

“What if they’re on opposite sides of the stage,” you suggest. “When the song begins they’re staring at each other, and then they slowly come closer and closer in the first half.”

Slowly, Ben nodded his head.

“And then they meet at the centre,” he went on.

“They can start dancing together during the instrumental part.”

But Ben shook his head.

“What if they barely danced at all. Maybe just turned.”

“Turned?”

“Yeah, like…”

But Ben wasn’t sure how to explain his idea.

“Like they both walk in a circle, and follow each other so they keep the same distance.”

“Chasing each other, almost… it fits,” you nodded, thinking hard. “They could come closer and closer during the second part.”

You walked to the centre of the stage, in an attempt to imagine the position of the actors, play out the scene in your head…

This should be highly romantic. A song you had added with your entire little company to showcase this love between Christian and Satine…

“There could be other people on stage like… dancing during the party. And the lights could go down all around the couple, so the others would disappear, until there’s no one left but Christian and Satine. Like… they love each other so much… there’s nobody else in the world for a moment…”

You were lost in thought, you seemed almost dizzy, staring at an empty spot before you. And Ben didn’t know why but he was so fond of you at this moment. You looked… breathtaking… maybe it came from the dreamy expression painted upon your features….

He wished you could look at him like that. Because you were right, that would be how he would feel with you. Like everything else could disappear. Like the whole world was gone, for as long as you would stare at him and pretend you loved him, even if for just a minute…

He struggled to swallow, tried to clear his throat, but it had tightened so quickly, he had barely noticed before it was already too late.

Ironic. The same way he had fallen head over heels for you…

“And then, they could walk in a circle, like you said. Turning, turning…”

You imitated the movement, walking across the empty stage.

“… and coming closer. Should they kiss?”

“Everyone is on stage, the scene is set during a party, they can’t be openly affectionate,” Ben answered, trying to shake some sense back into his brain. “Maybe they could touch hands instead.”

You seemed to consider it for a second.

“But then they could walk back where they were before, the lights could go up again, as if it was just some kind of… dream… you know what I mean?”

Ben nodded.

“A moment just between them, that no one notices.”

“Just by looking at each other.”

“And that we would translate through the song.”

Ben smiled.

“It could work.”

But you still seemed bothered, Ben could see it in the mild frown digging a line between your brows.

“Could we walk around the stage to decide on the placements?” you asked Ben, turning to him with this same adorable frown he adored, the one brought by focus and thinking too hard.

His smile was soft, charming, when you turned to him. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight. He looked dishevelled after a long day at work, but you liked it. You liked the way his hair was messier than usual, the way his glasses were a little lopsided, the way his white shirt was crinkled…

You forced yourself to look only at his eyes again, but they were so dark, so intense, so magnetic… it didn’t help at all…

“Of course,” he nodded, voice warm and soft and terribly charming even if he didn’t do it on purpose.

He walked to the right side of the stage while you took position on the left. You tried walking around for a few minutes, trying to decide on a distance to stop, one to dance to, and finally the closest the characters would stand by each other.

It was hard to imagine it all without music though, and you tried again using your phone to listen to the tune while you moved.

“Too fast, too fast,” Ben shook his head as you walked towards him. “You need to cross the stage and get in position throughout the first part, before the instrumental section kicks in.”

He gestured you to start all over again, and you did. After a few tries, you found the right rhythm, and tried to walk with Ben.

“How do they touch hands? Like this?”

You brushed your fingers against his without any warning, and your shy touch was enough to make him blush, to make his heart stumble in his chest, to make him forget his damn name…

“Huh… yes,” he nodded, clearing his throat, trying to hide his reaction but he couldn’t imagine to be discreet. “And maybe they could properly hold hands when they’re standing very close.”

“Both hands?”

“Yes… maybe?”

“Okay, sounds good.”

“And then we can decide with the rest of the club if they should kiss or not.”

“Okay, perfect!”

“Do you want us to rehearse the whole song? Like… fully playing it as it should go?”

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea, let’s do that.”

You walked back into position, starting the song again, but Ben stopped you as you took your first step.

“You’re not even singing!” he complained, playfulness making him smile. “Come on!”

He saw you shying away, but it didn’t matter. He loved listening to your voice. He would not let you get away with this.

“Alright,” you grumbled, clearly unhappy, but he merely shot you a grin.

“Come on, I’ll sing too.”

That was a pretty good argument, given his pretty voice.

Fair enough…

You started the song over again, from the beginning.

Slow movements walking across the empty stage. Ben was staring at you, his gaze intense, never letting go for a second, as if he was afraid you would disappear.

But then again, you were staring at him the same way. Moving to the rhythm of the music, in slow movements, made it all even more intense like… like it was all real…

You were singing without noticing, words passing your lips, but each syllable seemed to slow down time, make you more focused on Ben’s dark eyes, on his slightly parted lips, on the light shining against his glasses, on his dishevelled hair, on his beard that called for your fingers…

The universe was shrinking, shrinking, shrinking down while you sang.

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood

Perhaps I had a miserable youth

But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past

There must have been a moment of truth

You noticed the way Ben closed his fists, opened them again, flexed both his hands, as if he were nervous, as if he couldn’t quite breathe anymore, as if he felt the same as you did now…

… hanging by a thread. Struggling to keep the air inside your lungs, your heart beating so damn fast, and lost… lost in his damn dark eyes, so dark under the velvety light of the theatre, so dark you could only fall into them, so dark you couldn’t see where they would end…

Still, your feet advanced, just like his, in perfect rhythm to the song and to his movements, but you barely noticed. You barely noticed when you kept on singing too.

And your voice… Jesus, the soft, tender sound was driving Ben absolutely mad. He wished you could never stop. He wished he could keep on listening to your voice forever, no matter what you would say or sing or whisper, it wouldn’t matter, for as long as you kept going…

His heart was beating so damn fast, how was that even humanly possible?

For here you are, standing there, loving me

Whether or not, you should

And as you spoke the words, your throat tightened, your heart sank because they reminded you that your feelings were crazy. Ridiculous, almost. If it hadn’t hurt so much, you would have taken it all as a twisted joke. It was too painful to be a joke, though.

You were a mess. You struggled. You were a mother. You had so many responsibilities, so many things to do, and in all of that, how could you manage any time for yourself? It wasn’t fair, but it was the truth. And Ben? Why would Ben ever love someone like you? Perfect opposites. Bantering friends. Tender words. And these dark eyes that looked at you with such patience, such warmth… You hoped, despite all odds and all reason, that his gaze meant more, so much more.

You were too uncertain of yourself to see it. To see that Ben looked at you as if you had hung the stars in the sky yourself, as if you were the very essence of beautiful things, as if you were everything he had ever wanted. Because you were. You were so much more than that, even. And he was too uncertain of himself to tell you, but now more than ever, as you walked towards him, your singing voice barely audible at all but still there, still hanging in the air, while you stared at him with these beautiful eyes of yours he saw every night in his dreams… now more than ever, he couldn’t deny that he loved you. That he loved you so much, it was crazy, it was ridiculous. And he couldn’t help it.

So somewhere in my youth, or childhood

I must have done something good

Just a few more steps to take. You smiled, all shy, and he reciprocated the gesture, although his was brighter, a little less hesitant. He wanted to come closer, to skip the song and the music and to reach out for your hand, to reach for your cheek, to reach for your lips…

He took a deep breath instead, raspy and uncertain, but it did ground him enough to keep his feet on track.

Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could

So somewhere in my youth, or childhood

I must have done something good

You were standing in position now, and you both stopped. The short instrumental part started playing, both of you silent. You forced your feet to move, and Ben followed your movements, walking in a circle with you, slowly getting closer, and closer, the circle shrinking, and shrinking, and shrinking, until you were in arm’s range. Until you were close enough to smell his perfume, something of oud and citrus and midnight talks on the phone. Until you were close enough Ben could feel your breath across the side of his neck.

You had both slowed down your pace down to a full stop. You weren’t supposed to be standing so close, but you both felt so attracted towards the other, like two magnets struggling against impossible forces. And who were you to fight this type of law, anyway? It would have been as unnatural as fighting gravity.

When he started singing, he reached to brush his knuckles against yours. Soft, delicate touch.  A breeze in summer. Barely there at all.

Your heart stumbled into your chest, crashed against your ribcage.

You were still staring into his eyes, but now up close, where you could see perfectly their darkness through his glasses, the small crinkles at their corners, the beauty spot under his right eye…

When he brushed his fingers to yours again, you held them back, before they could escape.

For here you are, standing there, loving me

Whether or not you should

And you shouldn’t. As he sang the words, they sounded a little too raw on his tongue, a little too bloodied, as if they were already stained by the sorrow they announced.

Because you shouldn’t. Ben didn’t think you felt the same, and he shouldn’t wish for these feelings upon you, because every ounce of reason in his mind screamed that it was a terrible idea. He was a mess. He struggled. You were a mother, and he couldn’t let you down. What if he did? What if he couldn’t be enough, just like he wasn’t enough for Julia? What if you left? What if he gave you and Sally everything, and you took it all away? But then again, why would you ever love someone like him, anyway? You deserved so much better than his bruised self. Besides, you were perfect opposites. Silly friends. Soft smiles. And these beautiful, tempting lips of yours, he couldn’t help the way his gaze fell onto them now that you were so close. Because he wanted to kiss them. Wanted to run his thumb along their curve to feel the tender skin. Wanted to know how it felt, how you tasted…

He was so out of breath, he barely noticed when you spoke again, only the movement of your mouth made him aware that you were singing the next verse.

So somewhere in my youth, or childhood

I must have done something good

Your lips remained parted, you moved your fingers to hold properly on his, and the tender gesture made him look up at your eyes again. He enlaced your fingers together as he whispered the next words, more than he sang them. And when you joined him, you were both so lost into each other’s gaze, there seemed to be nothing else in the entire world but your two bodies.

Your eyes. Your warmth. You…

Nothing comes from nothing

Nothing ever could

You missed the beginning of your verse, but you didn’t care. Your heart was beating so fast, you could barely hear the music anymore over its crazy rhythm.

So somewhere in my youth

He smiled, a crooked one, just for a second, as he noticed that you had skipped a couple of words. It was tender though. So tender…

God, he loved you so much… if it hadn’t been so painful, he could have laughed at himself for falling so hard. A stupid teenage boy all over again…

When he spoke his verse, he raised his hand to your cheek. Your skin so warm… it was burning his fingers and palm. So soft, he was certain none of this could be real…

Or childhood

You closed your eyes under his soft touch, all delicate and feathery, as if he was scared you’d run away, as if he feared to hurt you somehow. As if you were the most precious thing in the world…

You spoke with your eyes still closed, leaning into his touch without noticing, your skin on fire under his fingers.

I must have done something

He let go of your hand, and your eyes snapped open, thinking he would push you away, that the dream would be over…

But he merely reached up to your other cheek instead, holding your face in both his hands, leaning closer, dangerously so. Your hands reached up to hold onto his arms, in search for any kind of support. You could feel his warm breath fanning over your lips…

Your legs were shaking.

You both whispered the last lyrics, neither of you could summon anything more than a murmur.

Something good

You had barely spoken your last syllable that he was leaning closer, impossibly closer, until his lips brushed against yours, the feeling making you both gasp and close your eyes.

How many times had you dreamt about this?

How many times had he hoped you would let him do this?

But his lips had barely touched yours, just the ghost of a caress, before he pulled away. Not much, just enough to look into your eyes as you lifted your eyelids once more.

A silent question. A frightened one, yet tainted with desire.

Do you want this as much as I do?

Your response was a smile, a gentle pull on his sleeve to draw him closer again, a lean upwards towards his lips.

His hands held your face a little more firmly to guide you to him, and this time when he leaned down, he didn’t stop.

His kiss was a little shy still at first, hesitant. But then your lips moved against his, and the remnants of worry and rationality fainted away from his mind. When your hand moved from his forearm to his hair, he pressed his lips harder against yours, more passionately, and he let go of the last bit of control he had left.

One of his hands settled on your waist, drawing you closer, and you leaned in without a second thought. How could you not, when he was kissing you with so much passion, it almost tasted like desperation, until none of you could breathe and yet you kept on kissing, and kissing, and kissing despite your shallow breaths, because you couldn’t get enough, and neither could he…

How could he pull away? How could he stop kissing you when your lips moved perfectly over his, when you tasted so good on his tongue, when you pulled just a little on his hair, when your scent was so intoxicating…

You were kissing, and kissing, and kissing… despite all reason, despite all odds.

And it felt so right.

When you pulled away just for a second to look at him, knowing you would dive back in, his eyes had darkened. And he looked at you like he couldn’t get enough. Like you were everything to him. Like he…

No one had ever kissed you like that…

You hoped he could read the same thing in your gaze, because you felt the same. And he did. The grin that tugged at his lips was the final proof.

When you kissed him again, the gesture was a little more unhurried, a little more certain. Like he took his time now. As if he was reassured.

He still tasted the same though. Like coffee, like the chocolate biscuits you had eaten together, like he couldn’t get enough of you, like tenderness and desire, like…

…like love.

*********************************************

Taglist : @reg-arcturus-black @sergeantbuckybarnes @wolfmoonmusic @idek-what-to-put @kpicard @rhapsodyonthethames @friendly-philosopher

[redjadethewriter]

Understanding One's Self to Figure Out Someone’s Character

I recently listened to the same ex-therapist speak about yet another intriguing topic: how to discern someone’s character. He mentioned some people focus on trivial methods such as eye movement, posture, hand or foot placement, and so on. While he acknowledged the potential effectiveness of these methods, he also introduced a much better way to truly understand the person in front of you. This idea resonated with me because it has helped me, although I never fully grasped why or how until I watched him talk about.

Furthermore, he revealed that he could see the goodness or quality in people, even beneath layers of insidious intentions. This ability has saved his life multiple times. I also came across another video of him discussing a survival mechanism called “people pleasing,” which hinders one’s sense of self. It made him and even me realize understanding oneself is crucial in deciphering someone’s character and possibly even their intentions.

This is not anything new or a secret. Even in certain spiritual practices, to fight a demon, you ask for the aid of another demon. In some games I played, to counter a higher dimensional entity, you summon or pay the price for an equal standing entity to oppose it. A monster can sense its own kind. How often to we see this used in entertainment? But I’m discussing real life.

Many of us have had challenging experiences in life. Some have even endured and survived narcissistic abuse, manipulation, and other horrible situations from parents or romantic partners. The list of the traumas one can endure is extensive. However, have you ever considered the insights that survivors gain once they have healed? Can you imagine the perspective of a recovering sociopath, psychopath, narcissist, or master manipulator? Can you imagine using that to help people? Who would know more about these individuals than the ones who have lived through it?

An ex-therapist shared his story of self-discovery while healing from parental neglect, abuse, and other painful experiences. By tapping into his own healing process, he developed a keen sense of discernment. Without even looking at someone, he could tell if they were being truthful, hiding something, or even manipulating others. Reflecting on his own survival strategies, he admitted that using people-pleasing as a coping mechanism was a form of manipulation. It involved saying what others wanted to hear in order to navigate or avoid difficult situations.

I can relate to this because manipulation was a learned behavior in my household, with my mother as my prime example. I don’t believe my mother is a bad person; rather, we both adopted these methods to minimize conflict and avoid devastating situations. Unfortunately, this caused us to lose touch with our true selves. I understand the necessity of wearing different masks for different situations, as it was a part of my trauma response. Because of my self-awareness, I can now recognize when someone is not revealing their true selves and how potentially dangerous they could be. In fact, I can often sense it without even hearing them speak. However, when they spoke, it further confirmed my initial impressions.

I do have a habit of seeing the good in people and recognizing qualities that could benefit others greatly. However, I understand now that if individuals don’t acknowledge their own issues or attempt to heal and change; it puts me at risk of encountering their underlying insidious intentions. It’s important for me to be cautious and protect myself from the brewing beast that lies beneath the surface, ready to attack if provoked.

However, I had these senses long before doing the inner work or acknowledging my traumas. Now, they have expanded their capability with the healing process. Even before, I would naturally peg out who was the one to worry about the most in a customer altercation at my jobs. In this particular incident, we had a customer, a Karen, who was raging about her drawing getting damaged in the frame shop. It was just a sketch she did in art class, not an expensive piece of work. Although she was going to get everything for free, she still raved on irrationally.

You would think I would be worried about the woman, right? However, it was actually the husband standing quietly behind her that caught my attention. I poked the manager on the arm and asked her to come with me to the back area. I told her, “If they ask, say nothing about who was handling the drawing. I have a bad feeling about him.” The manager cocked her head and peeked back out at the husband, not fully understanding what I was saying. After all, he appeared harmless and looked like a pushover, as it was the wife who was emotionally out-bursting.

Let me tell you, I hadn’t even heard the guy speak, but my alarm bells were going off. Something was giving me the notion that this dude could potentially harm someone or even kill them. So, when the manager went back out, the guy spoke and demanded to know who was handling the drawing. He wanted names and a face. Fortunately, the manager was smart enough to say that we aren’t permitted to provide that information.

There have been plenty of other situations where I had to turn up my people-pleasing ability and a bit of manipulative acting to de-escalate a situation. One such instance was when I had to manage a customer for my coworker, as no matter what he did, he couldn’t get the guy to calm down. The customer was in fury mode because the line was long, and we had a lot of orders to go through. With so much happening, it was especially difficult, considering this guy was 6 feet tall and built like a sumo wrestler who could easily put many people in the hospital. He was raising his voice right in front of us and let me paint a picture of how bad the situation looked. My coworker, who had asked me to assist him, was at the counter, holding a mallet ready in hand. Another male coworker, who was only 19, was in the next aisle over, standing right across from me. I could see him through the shelving, and he could see me, too. He kept his eye on me the whole time. Adding to the intensity, another male coworker from the neighboring department came over and stood at the corner of the aisle we were in, positioned behind me. That’s how bad it was, where three of my male coworkers needed to stand by and be ready. I don’t remember exactly how I did it, but somehow, I got that bulldozer of a man to calm down. He simmered down and started talking normally, acting all cool again. It’s like whatever I said and how I said it snapped him out of whatever he was feeling. I was grateful for that because not only would my life have been at risk, but my coworkers were ready to take down this man. So, I understood what the ex-therapist said about being manipulative has its benefits because it saved me plenty of times from potentially horrible situations.

Although I haven’t worked in retail for a long time, I believe my abilities in spotting someone’s character have improved because of the inner work I’ve done. While I am still a work in progress, these improvements have allowed me to view things from a different perspective. I can spot a person who’s ruled by arrogance much easier. Who’s power-hungry. Who’s a predator, a manipulator? I have to agree with the guy that so many people don’t recognize when they are being exploited by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. There are plenty of them on social media with massive followings and cult-like fans. It’s so scary to be honest. As a result, I can understand what the ex-therapist was referring to - the importance of knowing oneself first in order to better understand others. Perhaps even more effectively than someone who is solely trained in the field but lacks personal experiences or insights. Survivors of narcissism, for example, may possess a deeper understanding of narcissists compared to mental health professionals who have not been victims or narcissists themselves.

Alright, I will share some key indicators that can help you identify whether you’re dealing with a master manipulator who is power-hungry, arrogant, and only interested in exploiting you. First, it’s important to note that there is no relationship expert, especially when it comes to taking advice from someone of the opposite gender. This applies to both men and women because you never truly know who they are or their behind-the-scenes motivations. They could be hiding a dark side, such as being a domestic abuser, a narcissist, or even a sociopath, without even realizing it because many people are excellent at wearing masks. You can’t trust someone because they claim to be a love expert. In fact, following their guidance might put you in a dangerous situation without them giving it a second thought. These individuals may have a way with words and a charming smile, but they are more likely responsible for women settling for someone who could jeopardize their life or make it unbearable. It’s crucial to understand that they have no concern for your well-being.

Someone who genuinely cares about your well-being would point out the obvious: your trauma, your parental models regarding love, or witnessing a healthy or unhealthy relationship. Our environment teaches us almost everything, starting from childhood. There’s a reason they say you marry either your mother or father. It’s not for shits and giggles; it’s a fact. And now they know it shows in the brain, specifically in the regions in charge of novelty and familiarity. Our parents or caregivers and home dynamics are contributing factors to why it’s challenging to find a decent relationship, let alone deep love and companionship because of complex trauma. Someone would say it’s the construct and the cycle of bullshit that has put many people in their circumstances today. And a lot of it is not their fault, as they may not even be aware of it all. Ignorance is not bliss. We are trapped in toxic systems with a bunch of crazy man-made bullshit. However, it becomes your responsibility the moment you realize what’s the contributing factor to your situation and choose not to change it. This applies to everyone, not just a specific gender.

I have something to say: acclaimed thought-leaders often come across as ego-driven individuals who will never take accountability for being wrong. They will never admit they are wrong and made a mistake. They use vague and broad statements, talking excessively. You know the type - those professors who go on rants simply because they enjoy hearing themselves speak. They exude confidence in their voice and carefully choose their words. Let me tell you, the way words are strung together can hold more power than anything concrete or valid. Salespeople understand this concept well, using their communication skills to persuade people into buying things they don’t actually need. Acclaimed thought-leaders are no different. In fact, there are quite a few prominent names out there who exhibit sociopathic traits, and it genuinely frightens me that people haven’t realized it yet. I won’t mention any specific books or authors, but there is one book that essentially teaches you how to become a sociopath, albeit not explicitly titled as such. The advice it offers essentially guides you on adopting the traits of a sociopath.

Here are some words to be cautious of, as they may trigger your alarm bells. When you come across these words, it’s important to engage in critical thinking. Take everything that person says with a grain of salt and don’t consider it as absolute truth. Words like “master,” “guru,” and “expert” need to put you on high alert. If you encounter these words, detach yourself from your emotions and try to view it from a third-person perspective. Make a conscious effort to not get caught up in what they are saying. Nobody is a master or an expert. They can be more skilled in their field and have a bit more experience, but no one is a master or an expert. As human beings, our knowledge is limited. Information is constantly changing and evolving. Even monks cannot claim to be masters of enlightenment or beyond the human experience. Knowledge is infinite, and we have much to learn. It’s important to practice humility and acknowledge that we know very little. I, too, am just a student of life, so please approach what I say with discernment. Even as I write about all of this, continuously ask questions and engage in critical thinking, as I am a flawed human being with my own share of traumas to resolve.

The reason I write about trauma and its detrimental effects is because, like many others, I have a voice. However, because of my speech impediment, I may not sound as convincing as a suave speaker. Nonetheless, through my writing, I aim to provide some insight to whoever wants to read my blogs. I want to give them something to think about and perhaps highlight the possibility of healing and gaining wisdom from their traumas and experiences. Before: It never crossed my mind that my circumstances enable me to assess someone’s character so effectively. I’m still here, you know. Still alive by sheer damn luck. Learning about yourself, acknowledging and healing it might help you figure out someone’s insidious intentions, and may even save your life. Well, at least I hope.

Thank you.

[heartbreakinmyveins-blog]

BASIC ASTRO OBSERVATIONS

sb: i’ve been learning about astrology since late 2020 and FINALLY wanted to make my first observation post. this is from what i’ve gathered from the ppl i’ve met over the past few years.

- cancer placements (esp women) LOVE to look presentable. ladies always have their nails/hair done and in general have good sense of style and love to take pictures. all of them ik put a good amount of effort into their daily appearance on a regular basis.

- cancer placements hate sitting still/being alone. every cancer ik always has to have SOMETHING to do (vs me, a pisces, who LOVES having nothing to do). they can be clingy, especially if ur their favorite person, and HATE being ignored.

- virgo placements (esp risings) always have such a DISTINCT NOSE. not even big, just prominent.

- leo venus men have BIGGG 🤭 lollll. they are very persistent when it comes to someone they want and also have a huge dominance kink; aggressive.

- 8h profection year REALLY IS SHITTY omgg. every person ik has had an event that changed them drastically occurring at 19 years old. (not to scare anyone lol. drastic life changes are inevitable).

- taurus ppl have a green/brown/gold aura. idk how to explain but iykyk lmao.

- you can always tell a sagittarius from the way they talk. they talk a lot in general but when talking about something they’re knowledgeable in, they’re very “matter-of-fact” & always think they’re the smartest in the room lol. a little bossy too, but with good intentions.

- geminis r also easy to spot. they have kind eyes, makes them look v warm & friendly. gems talk w/ their hands and talk A LOT. when they’re silent, it feels weird.

- sag/cap cusp suns are the easiest signs for me to spot. they embody both sag traits & cap traits. talkative, personable, flighty, BUT ALSO hardworking, goal-oriented, and a strong sense of self/leadership.

- most, if not all libras i know, have puppy-like features! lol not in a rude way, they are so cute. but i can always tell one someone is a libra sun/rising bc they have a puppy nose (very proportionate) or puppy dog eyes.

- as someone w/ heavy mutability in my natal chart, we can be so fake. i find myself acting different depending on who i’m around. geminis get the “two-faced” stereotype, but it’s really all of us. i’ve noticed sags & virgos are def more blunt tho.

- i love scorpio placements but they are such LIARS! they fabricate stories/purposely leave out certain parts to others and i really dk why! def one of my favorite placements tho. makes for a beautiful & deep person.

- i’ve noticed with my cancer in 11h, i ALWAYS end up having friends with cancer placements.

- & even though i’m never regarded as the “mom” of the friend group, my cancer 11h and virgo 1h means people are ALWAYS coming to me for advice & comfort. even people i barely know always feel comfortable enough to tell me their deepest secrets & open up to me about things they don’t tell many others.

okkkk if i think of anything else i will add it, but this is all for now! toodles

[nidhi-psa]

BLOG 1, EPISODE 6,

NOVEMBER 20TH 2024,

To be a night bird

So for the first time. I decided to pick up a night shift to experience it, to be honest with you I was more excited to see how beautiful the airport looks at night with all the city lights and I'll tell you right now I wasn't disappointed. I did notice though that even though we are doing the exact same things in a night shift, it is alot lot busier , a lot more crowded. I was at the kiosk position for my night shift and time passed very fast because there wasn't a moment when i wasn't attending to a passenger, I don't know how to say it but people have a different glow on them once the sun goes down, people were a lot more calmer even though it was chaos. And something else I noticed is that you do feel a sense of fulfilment when you finish a night shift. There's just something about it.

Here's a little view on how it felt to be there at night l.

BLOG 1, EPISODE 7,

NOVEMBER 25TH 2024,

"To communicate through silence is a link between the thoughts of a man"- Marcel Marceau

TO BE LINKED WITH A FEELING

Hello , welcome back to my blog

I wanna introduce to you my favourite part of Toronto Pearson International airport and that is the one and only link train and so the pun was intented on the quote and heading

Isn't it crazy how we love on a floating ball in the middle of nowhere and we are literally microorganisms in this universe , everything I sit on the link train from terminal 1 to terminal 3 or buse versa. I feel unreal. Like what do you mean I'm sitting on a train that is in the air with no one driving it ? Isn't tjay crazy to think about

I want to show you a little clip of the view I took from the link train on my first night shift, it's beautiful and this video reminds me how there is 8 billion of us and we are all somehow interlinked

Isn't she lovely... ?

BLOG 1, EPISODE 8,

December 1st 2024,

Hello welcome back , today I'm going to talk a little about my favorite task to do working at cathay and I chose this task because it has taught me alot and introduced me to alot of new experiences and people, and this task is KIOSK , I absolutely love working kiosk , every morning during out briefings when we are viewing schedules I'm hoping I'm at kiosk. So thank you kiosk for all the new things you've taught me and all the positive experiences I have had.

BLOG 1, EPISODE 9,

DECEMBER 5th 2024,

Hello everyone, it's me again!

I have to say that it has been hitting me now that I'm coming towards the end of the placement how much I'm really going to miss this,

Working as a team, solving issues, kiosk, SSBD, Queue. Counters, briefings, everything that I possibly could have done during the placement, it's really been an incredible journey and I really wish life gives me another opportunity like this because I'm going to miss it like crazy

I never got a chance to get my RAIC during my placement but um still very very grateful for everything I've been able to do and for every passenger that I have met and been able to help. Here are a few pictures because we are moving closer to the end of the placement and the start of a very beautiful and blessed Christmas. I hope you enjoy .

BLOG 1, EPISODE 10,

DECEMBER 6TH 2024,

You will never change your life until you change something that you do daily , the secret to your success is found in your daily routine. -John C maxwell

Hello ... it's me again.

First of all I want to say thank you to those of you who have followed this blog since episode 1, it actually has been a great honor to be blessed enough to have an opportunity that I can write about everyday,

This placement has taught me a lot, and when I say that I don't mean only educationally, I mean emotionally and mentally too. Thank you so much, Cathay Pacific, for everything I have learnt and felt during this placement , every emotion and every skill , every good experience, and every connection I made . I will forever be grateful as without you, I would have achieved none of this. Thank you to seneca College for going out of their way to make their students achieve experience and learn better . I will forever miss you, Cathay . I love you, and thank you . I will forever be grateful.

One day I will see you again , somewhere. On a flight , on a vacation , in a dream , in another lifetime . Good bye .

Yours truly,

Nidhi. Mistry

[zarvasace]

I'll try to explain this for the FS homies

Things FS/loz and FE3H have in common: dubious goddess, color-coding, cool magic weapons, some fun implied (or not) philosophical questions. While you can't just slot characters into a different story 1:1, I think it would be interesting to put the FS boys into the beginning of the story and see how it goes from there!

This AU is a setting crossover AU, that is, I'm dropping characters into a different setting rather than having the characters from different properties interact.

The FE3H story begins with a mercenary (the protagonist Byleth) and their father running into a couple students and saving them from bandits intent on killing them. These three students are actually the future leaders of the three separate factions of Fodlan, their country, and the leaders of the three houses at the military school they all attend. The military school is also a monastery, because the closest thing Fodlan has to a unified government is a massively powerful Catholic-coded church.

Throughout the story, Byleth chooses one of the three factions to align with, becomes a teacher at the school, and starts to uncover some of the secrets behind the church and each of the factions. There are four separate endings, and there is no canon way to save everyone.

My proposal is this: make Shadow the protagonist, and give the four FS boys each a house, including an extra "church" house. Switch up backstories a little. Ignore the non-leader characters sort of, just for the purposes of this AU. (Each house has eight characters with their own stories, and there are plenty more. Too many for me right now!)

To me, the interesting part of this would be expanding on themes of teamwork by exploring how these five can get along. (Rather than exploring the relationships between the other characters.) More details about the story placement under the cut. :) also, if you care, FE3H spoilers.

(We're setting aside 3hopes because I haven't played it and there isn't much else it does with the back lore of the story, afaik.)

Game backstory and context

The backstory of the game is rather complicated, to be honest, and I know there are some gaps in my understanding. Different pieces of the lore are more prominent in different routes. This is the summary:

Long ago, there were two main groups of people, the humans and the Nabateans (dragons who could look human. I'm unclear as to whether there were only ever ten or so, or a whole population.) A group of humans killed the vast majority of the Nabateans, including the goddess Sothis who created them. These humans used the dragon blood to give themselves powers and used the bones to make weapons powered by the stone hearts of the dragons.

One of the few remaining dragons, Seiros, the daughter of the goddess Sothis, killed the leader of that group of humans, Nemesis, in a big war. She stole back the sword and stone of Sothis. The other humans who stole dragon powers might have died in the war, but they also had children and passed those powers along in the form of Crests. Seiros created the Church of Seiros, which worships the goddess Sothis and says that Crests are holy (and thus, Crest bearers are nobility). She became Archbishop of the church. She isn't all benevolent, however, and doesn't seem to care much about humans except the ones she hates. She took the crest stone of Sothis and used it to try and make her mother Sothis again as clones sort of, over and over, sometimes killing the failures herself. It's implied that the church suppresses scientific advancement on purpose, and it's clear that it suppresses knowledge of the truth.

Meanwhile, a group of Nemesis supporters retreated underground. They kept their technology and expanded on it, so they have some robots and missiles and things. They kept Nemesis's body and do a lot of Crest-related experiments on people, the majority of them unethical. It's unclear whether they're still human or not. Probably not. They can change the way they look and have infiltrated the upper echelons of Fodlan's society in at least two of the three factions. This group is called the Agarthans (or as our favorite local dramatic vampire rat has named them, Those Who Slither in the Dark.)

The main aesthetic is.... generic European historical? I don't know. It feels anime historical, but not any specific time period. It's almost a little steampunk. The school uniform is a variation of white shirt, black skirt or pants. Later on, they wear vaguely historical armor and fancy clothes. Maybe sort of Victorian? Whatever it is, it's colorful. Characters can specialize in swords, bows, spears, or axes, have armor, and do magic. Spells are either white magic (healing, some damage), black magic (elemental), or dark magic (evil named things.) It's implied there are rituals and a mathematical logic to spells that can be learned. Crests are hereditary manifestations of power (they do things like boosting attack power or magic power, game-wise), and the vast majority of people with them are nobility.

Characters

Okay, on to the characters. I'm going to keep the broad strokes of the backstories, and that's what's explained here. I imagine that if I actually wrote the story out (which I am definitely not doing) it would end up diverging quite a bit from the events of the game.

Blue, taking the place of Dimitri

Head of the Blue Lion house, and prince of the Kingdom of Faerghus. His uncle is currently Regent. Faerghus is cold and seems to be based on medieval France or England, where they have a formal monarchy and a knighthood. His Crest gives him unnatural strength, making it difficult for him to be gentle. He's kind, but he was the sole survivor of a massacre that killed his father, his stepmother, his best friend's older brother, and more. His kingdom is at fault for the genocide of another country, but he doesn't really know that (and it was Agarthan influence that did it anyway.) It's implied that he sees "ghosts," and that they beg him for vengeance. He loses an eye later and becomes angry at everything, before character arc-ing his way back to kindness and becoming a good king.

The Blue Lions have, unlike the other houses, 5 boys and 3 girls, and their specialization is pure martial might. They only have 2 inherent casters.

Red, taking the place of Claude

Head of the Golden Deer house, and heir of the leader of the Leicester Alliance (pronounced Lester). The Alliance broke away and has the most democratic government of the three, and is warm and balmy with sea ports. The Alliance also holds the border between Fodlan and Almyra (fantasy Persia), which is implied to be contested. Red in particular is special because he is half-Almyran, but hides the fact. Unlike Claude, Red would be more openly friendly, and I think he would have fewer schemes up his sleeves. He'd be more willing to work with others. His goal isn't so much unifying Fodlan as it is to reduce discrimination and increase positive relations outside Fodlan. His Crest has self-healing properties.

The Golden Deer are an eclectic bunch with the fewest nobles among them. Their specialization is ranged damage, with bows. They have 2 inherent casters, with several that go easily into it, including the hardest-hitting mage in the game. (A 14-year-old girl with a lot of Trauma.)

Vio, taking the place of Edelgard

Head of the Black Eagles (red house), and prince of the Adrestian Empire, a very warm place and the oldest faction of the three. Because it's so old, the Agarthans practically run the place, and their goal is to take over everything and be able to transfer/add/remove Crests from people. To that end, they took all of the children of the Emperor (implied to be up to a dozen through different mothers) and used them for experiments. Vio would be the only one to survive without going mad, a successful experiment with two Crests instead of one. He works with the Agarthans for now, but has the goal of unifying Fodlan, purging the Agarthans, and removing the power of the Church, mostly because Crests do not mean someone is better than someone else. He pretends to be a normal student while machinating things behind the scenes. It's his actions that begin the war between all three factions.

The Black Eagles are mostly nobles, but do have one who is not. Their specialization is magic, with each of them able to spec a little into it. They have 3 dedicated magic-users.

Green, original

Green would probably be a ward of the Church (maybe somehow related to Shadow?) and potentially a knight or a priest there. Maybe both. The Church has a military force and no official authority, but they are the major dominant religion and have a lot of sway. This Green would be a rule-follower, might regard the archbishop as a mother figure (she'd be negligent at BEST), and would maybe have a lot of training with the knights. He'd have a narrow view of the world but be open to more, and I think his individual morals could clash or diverge from the Church's teachings.

I don't know if I would give Green an extra house, but if I did, it would have characters like Flayn, Cyril, Yuri, Constance, Balthus, Hapi, and potentially aged-down Catherine or Shamir could be fun.

Shadow, taking the place of Byleth

Shadow would be the protag of the game, and presumably the story. It's revealed later that his mother was one of the archbishop's "failed" goddess clones, and because she wasn't a real human, her child would not have survived if she hadn't donated her heart—which happens to be the goddess Sothis's crest stone. That crest stone is dormant for most of Shadow's life, but still affects him—in the game, it suppresses Byleth's emotions, and they don't have a heartbeat. I think it would be cool if it made Shadow a little bit undead, maybe less of an emotion thing. It also gives Byleth the power to rewind time a little (functionally an undo button). He gets recruited to be a teacher because the Archbishop (Seiros, but called Rhea here) wants to keep him close. He gets to use the goddess's sword, and activates it, which makes Rhea very hopeful that this kid is actually going to turn into her mother. Spoiler. He doesn't. And she's disappointed. (If Byleth/Shadow joins Edelgard/Vio and turns against the church, though, Rhea gets extra murderous.)

Usually, Byleth chooses one of the three houses to teach, but I think it'd be neat if Shadow didn't have to choose like that. He's friendly enough (if unhinged) that he could make friends with all three houses and maybe spark a Golden Route where everyone works together. :)

The Story

Pre-timeskip, I think pretty much everything would be the same as the game story, except that Shadow would be flitting between groups. I'd emphasize the leaders' friendships rather than those inside houses. Shadow would have to see some of the hidden secrets everywhere and be willing to be nosy. I think he'd get attached to being around people, and to the four leaders individually. I think Green would enable him a bit by offering access to restricted records or places. Shadow would have the craftiness and maliciousness necessary to concoct some scheme to tell everyone about everyone and get them to work together. If he cared. Idk there's some interesting character potential there.

And then there's the problem of what happens after the timeskip. XD Lots. Lots happens.

I think to properly communicate the characters and interactions I have in my head, I need to write some dialogue. But that's a project for Later Mina. I just needed to get that out of my head.

I don't think I'm dedicated enough to the premise, or have the time to doodle right now, but someday I'd like to expand on my ideas for a Four Swords/Fire Emblem Three Houses crossover, because the vibes are really good

[httpstes]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Astro Observations V ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

Links to other astrovations: Astrology observations l, Astrology Observations ll, Astrology observations lll, Astrology observations IV, Astrology observations VI, Astro Observation VII

🪷Leo placements tend to get deeply involved with their creative endeavours. Many of these people can have artistic things (making jewellery, painting, music, art in general rlly) that they do as a hobby or as a stress reliever. But like y’all should rlly look into careers to do with whatever artistry your interested in because it can take you a long way :) Half of its natural talent the other is Hard work🫶

🪷Venus in 10H individuals may get compliments from strangers a lot and can get treated nicely bc of pretty privilege (srsly tho every Venus 10H person i’ve met were super pretty) However others may be envious of this and may not have best intentions when it comes to you, esp if you have Venus in aspect. with pluto

🪷Unevolved Cancer and libra placements (spec sun/moon/rising/Venus) tend to put other peoples happiness before theirs. With Libras they want to keep the balance within friendships and connections so if there was a dispute, they can put their ego aside and be mature ab whatever is going on, however it can lead to taking the blame for things that others did just to keep the harmony. With Cancer placements, they tend to not speak up against their loved ones even if they know they are wrong. Unconditional love has its consequences at times 😭 Again this is cancer and libra placements that are unevolved and that have to learn the importance of assertiveness and self priority.

🪷Moon conjunct Moon in synastry is such a cute placement. Like no matter what type of relationship you have with the other person they will always have a close place in your heart and you can rarely feel uncomfy around them. My younger brother and I have this aspect and I mean yea it’s brother-sister dynamics but also me and him have so much in common from music tastes to similar interests that nobody else knows about LOL. We also trust each other with secrets and always have each other’s backs. Ik other friends and family members that have this placement with their loved ones and it’s so cute. I noticed that you can come back to this person months after not seeing each other and everything will still be the same. However you can get annoyed with the person you share this placement with simply because you can be very similar in terms of emotional needs.

🪷Uranus in 1/10th house solar return or transit can indicate having a major change to your physical and public appearance. The way others perceive you could drastically change. Uranus first house transit/solar return may also feel a need to change up their appearance because they have gotten bored of it.

🪷Mars/Venus in 8H/10H are hot and nobody is allowed to argue with me.

🪷Mercury-Pluto natives are like sirens, they can entrap you with their voices and charm you easily.

🪷Saturn in Leo individuals may deal with self-esteem issues in their younger years. They may struggle to find confidence in themselves. This is because some of Saturn’s traits are karma, lessons and wisdom. Through the issues many Saturn Leo natives may deal with/have dealt with, they learn to seek validation internally and not externally, so they end up relying on themselves to push them to be confident and find their glow. Through this they learn how to deal with strengthening their ego and self esteem so then it isn’t easily shattered.

🪷Fire risings with Earth moons come off as more chill and relaxed than regular fire risings with fire/air/water moons. I noticed this esp with aries risings and earth moons.

🪷Uranus 4H transit can indicate feeling the need to rebel your traditional values and the things you have been brought up with. This also can indicate seeking more freedom and wanting to leave your home more.

🪷Moon in 11H natives are very idealistic and can be optimistic. These individuals are people oriented, they enjoy helping and collaborating with others. Many of them have amazing social skills (unless moon is afflicted) and strong connections with powerful people in society. This honestly can take them a long way.

🪷Venus in second house/Taurus venus/Leo venus really like to shower their partner with physical affection. Specifically with second house/Taurus venus they definitely like to spoil their lovers with gifts and money. They also like to be possessed or possess their partner in some way 😭 It could be simple things though like spraying their perfume on their s/o hoodie or wearing their s/o's stuff.

🪷Leo venus on the other hand really like to show off their partner and it’s so cute. Their very proud of who they’re with and would gladly give them the world. They’d also like this energy to be reciprocated :D A Leo venus with taurus in big three or in second house (or vice versa) definitely accentuate this qualities.

🪷Capricorn in 5th house may have been restricted a lot when young. They could have had strict parents who didn’t let them go out a lot to parties or didn’t know how to adapt to spontaneous situations, so they found it to be safer to plan out fun events rather than go with the flow.

🪷Libra/Venus/Taurus in the 2nd or 6th house can indicate being obsessed with skincare, makeup and in general getting lost in physical pleasures that bring them therapy. These individuals rlly like to pamper themselves and make themselves feel good through beauty. Also side note they all have rlly pretty faces. 🫶

🪷Saturn conjunct venus in the 6th house can also indicate have a strict health and beauty routine each day. I was gonna say think patrick batemans routine but i realised that was a terrible example LMAO.

🪷Moon opposite mercury may have a difficult time putting their emotions into words. Like they know what they’re feeling it’s just indescribable at times 😭

🪷Mercury conjunct Jupiter are such great people to talk to. Literally. Every single person I’ve met with this aspect rlly know how to lift someone up and are great at making others feel better ab themselves. They also give great advice, must be the wisdom jupiter has in conjunction with mercury. Also on the topic of wisdom, THESE PEOPLE ARE SO SMART, they may not act like it but they are 😭

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

Thankyou for reading 🫂 Likes and reblogs are always appreciated :D

[aquataurian]

Heyllo guys! Back with the difference between sun and moon in the same sign (part-3) astro observations.

Last part

#4 ASTRO OBSERVATIONS

• Sagittarius. Typically, sag gives me carefree energy because they really are one. And this goes for both sun and moon. Sag moons are upfront. They are rarely shy except they have a water sun. They are more about carefree thinking and even more impulsive. They are so impatient sometimes. But sag suns are kinda serious at times. They are more passionate towards what they do or believe. More about freedom and openness. You can find sag suns more intimidating than sag moons. Sometimes, sag suns are shy. They take some time to get comfortable with you. Sag moons are somewhat naturally extrovert. They are indirect at times. But sag suns are always direct no matter what.

• Capricorn. No wonder why I absolutely love capricorns. Cap suns are genuinely good people and there's a reason for that. They value friendships and they make really great friends. I've alot of cap sun friends and they are just their true selves which makes them so humble and genuine. But be careful because it's just their sun energy. I've met capricorns with contrasting moon signs and that does make them different in some ways. Cap moons on the other side are true for who they are and who they want to be. Cap energy is somehow less manifested in moon placement but what makes them unique is that they're very calculated. They are earthy in their hobbies and stuff they like to do. Even though they have an air or fire sun, this placement makes them grounded and wise. Cap sun are extroverts and cap moon is an introvert. To all the cap suns I've met, y'all are reallyyyy funny and enjoy being with your friends. But you also need your alone time to process things. Cap moons are also like that but they are passive. They are private in such things and they get mentally drained alot at times. Cap moons are sometimes similar to aquarius suns. They are realistic.

• Aquarius. There is a big big difference between aqua sun and aqua moon. Now this me with an aqua sun and taurus moon writing about what an aqua sun is like and the thing is that mostly, all aqua suns are different in their own ways. I know some aqua sun people and they are soo different than who i am. Why? Because after all, moon plays an important role especially for aqua sun people. But the thing that goes for all aqua suns is that they all are detached in their ways, are honest, sometimes really secretive and that non-conformist attitude. Aqua moons on the other side are all similar. All aqua moons give me the same vibe. They are truly detached but they feel alot. They just avoid it because they think it's their weakness to feel things. And ofc, no one can change their mind. Aqua moons are revengers. They are manipulative at times and knows how to take advantage of you. They can even shed fake tears and act all emotional simply to hurt you atlast because they wanna take revenge. They hold grudges. I've seen this dark side in 2 or 3 aqua moons. They are also very prideful of themselves and somewhat egoistic similar to leo moons. Aqua suns are not at all like that. They have zero intentions to take revenge or hurt anyone because when it comes to holding a grudge, moon placement comes in play. That's why aqua suns are highly differentiated as they have unique personalities. Both aqua sun and moon are stubborn tho. Atmost when it comes to their ideas and ways of doing things. Aqua sun is like a walking aquarius who you may not easily notice coz of their variety of unique personalities but aqua moon is like possessed by an aquarius who you may notice coz of their superior aura and passive stubbornness.

• Pisces. That dreamy energy ofc. Feels like everything is drowned. All the feelings and dreams. Pisces suns are always tired and they have their secret life of dreams in which they live most of the time. They are not practical. But veryyy Idealistic. Reality seems to fade here. Pisces moons are all about feelings. They feel alot and everything and are great caretakers. But the thing is that pisces sun can detach themselves easily and pisces moon cannot. They are naturally feeling everything at deepest point. Pisces sun is also differentiated as to their moon placement because if they have an aqua moon, they are easy to detach even though they can see everything but won't feel a bit. Pisces moons are intimidating than pisces suns. Both pisces sun and moon placements have large beautiful eyes. Their gaze gives you dreamy vibes.

That's it for the day! Stay tuned for more such observations. Thank you for your support!

[ferie-anon]

What are some of your thoughts on natal Pluto trine Ascendant and how it could potentially manifest? Thanks!

▪️🌂Pluto trine ascendant🌂▪️

- Pluto, the planet of secrets, fears, regeneration, and power itself makes a powerful impact when in an angular house or aspecting the angles -

angular houses (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th) and ascendant can also be known as having a similar impact like the 1st house, as the ascendant situates itself around the 1st house, in a cusp as it’s not directly on the 1st house and a cusp refers to between something. The ascendant is between the 12th and 1st house, so it is known as a “rising sign”/ascendant, as it is rising in your birthchart.

So naturally when Pluto trines the Ascendant, the individual’s life will be somewhat concealed or hidden from the public eye, yet at the same time their presence will make an impact because people will be curious about their lives.

There may be rumors or speculation about what goes on behind the scenes in that individuals life and, often it's not what you'd expect or assume. Like the planet itself, there's a certain contrast between how the native “appears” vs how they rlly act and think in real life.

With the trine because it emphasizes the good parts of Pluto or at least the smoother side of this planet, as trine is a positive aspect, the person with this aspect will often appear to have a nicer life than they may actually have or may not be known of their internal/hidden issues. They also may appear more popular, and grab people's attention easier as others find them quite charming and intriguing.

This can cause others to be jealous of the native because of how good their life seems & the charisma they possess, but the native may truthfully continually feel unsatisfied with themselves often thinking they don't live up to the image they're thought to have. Even though the trine is considered an easy aspect, there will be insecurities/conflict hidden within the individual that has this aspect because there's always a fear of being misunderstood or not good enough.

Hence why the native’s life is led to be more private and personal. There usually isn't invasions of privacy with the trine in this placement, but more so speculation/assumptions.

People usually trust them immediately as they're seen to be respectable and resourceful, often knowing the true intentions of others before anyone else recognizes it. The person with this aspect can almost feel untouchable yet are relatable, as Pluto is an outer planet that deals with the dark side of life and experience of it.

This could attract followers or people are interested in them because they see this person as someone they can admire and seek advice from, however you have to earn this individual’s trust as they don't give out advice freely unless they're truly comfortable with themselves and don't like revealing details about their personal life and being close easily.

This person has often been faced with the tough side of life whether its love, family, or career so they know how to make the best of an awful situation and change others lives who are going through the same experience. They are very resilient, with pluto’s nature of going through transformations as persevering through hardships to give a better change, they know they can overcome many challenges that have been thrown in their faces and can seem to have a poker face (metaphorically, or physically) that doesn't show weakness or exhaustion even if they're at their worst.

(Again, Izzy helped give me some basics, I added some stuff in 💖✨)

[Askbox is closed, just answering old asks]

[hillarysss]

random astro observations

do not repost, plagiarize, “reword” anything.

~

Venus in Leo tend to attract other Venus in leos (I can confirm this myself??? Like why does this happen ahahha)

Pisces Risings or any major pisces placements do you find ppl to tell you speak up?? like idk im a pisces rising and no matter how loud i am i can not for the love of ughghheghtuuut talk loud enough

capricorn/ aquarius in 11th, were you bullied for no reason?

your mars sign is attracted to someone with the venus sign of your mars sign, it's extremely strong.

Sirene asteroid (1009) in Fire signs are players as well as air. u can check up my post abt that here   << (click on here)

I think Virgos are literally meant to be sucessfull (Major placements)

Lillith in Water signs. How can you hold a secret for so long?

Moon opp or square jupiter, have you ever felt like your parents invade you tooooooooooo much? (probs the dad) Or a little strict. ( i know i do damn)

Moon square or opp to midheaven- Maybe you feel like if you wanna do something in life you have to bring family?? Or maybe ur parents have had told u to not leave them behind or something like that. Or youre scared if u leave to somewhere youre scared abt ur family?

Cancer placements (esp with earth added) i feel like you guys are soooooo slow movingggggggg so maybe thats why ppl give up on you cuz ur just so slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww and hold up the lineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

mars- lillith do you constatly break out from old patterns? or like u were raised a certain way but then u realized thats not u at all or like u constanstly change for the better. diff from family? in an angry way like ur parents think ur weird in a good way? like just diff

venus- neptune are the type to fall in love through discord, snapchat,instagram, kik?

ive always realized aquarius can come off as rude online but in real life theyre so goofy idk if that makes sense but aquarius state their opinions a lot normally and online they can come off as rude or like theyre trying to force their opinions on others even if thats not thei intentions or any major aquarius placements i really realized they have the tendecy to do that even tho i like aquarius as friends that kind of pissess me off

moon- uranus you might constantly find rlly good emotional connections in weird ways like online? honestly this is just a little theory ive seen from ppl charts who have online dated or have had good friends online usually. moon is emotions and uranus is like a super rad planet so itd make sense.

capricorns risings r usually rlly thick or very lean (usually the males r lean asf)

Aquarius sun capricorn moon are players

i feel like a lot of sag placements like to watch videos a lot (ex anime youtube) not sure why but ive noticed esp sag in big three they like videos a lot. Videos like exploring unknown things or just random facts lol

moon opp pluto- im sorry... you may have a mother who constatly changes? or like doesnt ever want help. your mother either wounds you or really helps you honestly probably both.

moon- venus. i love yall but stop taking back ur ex.. k??

Moon- neptune yall get drained easily and u think its uz ur crazy and may suffer from soemthing and shit u may but noo you just feel other ppl energy bro especially if u have soulmates or important ppl in ur life may i say u just feel it. for ex ur mother is sad ur sad too? like idk and u get random thoughts out of nowhere and u think ur crazy but its rlly cuz ur bf/gf or close friend is feeling that way? this can make yall confused with ur intution or overthinking cuz u feel everything. most ppl with this are into spirituality tho

cancer placements in males even though cancer ppl would regard as submissive or something like that i really think males or more masculine figures with this are very very dominant. its because they like that role?? the traditional role?

mars in virgo are so good with dirty talk...

mars in water signs like to use a lot of emojis to not come off as agressive LMAOOOO

libras can be really disliked something because youth they may have always been in both sides of arguements and it turned out both parties hating them?

Jupiter dominants have wide noses

moon dominants have beautiful head shapes soooo cute

Mercury dominants are so so so pretty like they look trustworthy asf and just someone so ugh i cant describe it but theyre really pretty in a trusting way??

your soulmate will have more easier soft placements in synastry. i think like a twin flame or something like a karmic partner will have a bunch of oppositions and conjuctions.

if a earth sign ghosts you its usually cause they need alone time but they'll tell you lol they  need alone time more than most usually dont take it personally unless yk u know u should

if an air sign ghost you.. u just boring or u give them too much validation so they get bored cuz u not making them chase a little

i feel like mercury in fire signs go good with other mercury in fire signs exclusively..

mercury in earth+ water is good compatibility wise and attract each other on how they think

i think water risings attract other water risings

mercury- ascendant aspects are easily liked because of their writing or stuff like that they're the type to start blogs like these! they may know more than one language probably do are interested in that. also great communicators. i have this and i think thats my abillity to absord knowledge so easily and like to spread it.

ppl with lillith as their ascendant or sun may come off as a burden to ppl or they may explain their problems too much or have a very sad profile to them. if lillith same as moon this is how people may view them after they open up just a little

this is general but venus in aries and taurus love singing i always see this omg

mercury- saturn has very very good memory.

any mercury with an easy aspect to any planet may be a reason why u like writin abt certain things (example mars u may like to write abt why life can be hard agressive things and sex stuff like that) or saturna about how to be more smart and useful they can like to write abt tips. just a thought.

Sun in same sign as mercury can be seen as very honest

chiron in 12th help others in order to cope and forget abt themselves often

i think if neptune touches mercury it can make someone sound very different all the time through communication. unrelated can make someone if have singing talents always sound different as well they can easily shift

If a venus in fire is dating a cancer venus the fire may constatly feel like the caretaker sometiimes

cap venus have a tendecy to have older friends or more mature friends

thats all now gn ~2:12 am