#it's literally no big deal. calm down
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One of the singing competitions my grandma endlessly watches featured a song I was learning in singing lessons and was supposed to perform before I cancelled two days prior to the concert, so now I'm like... half triggered, half wrecked with guilt
#in my defense I didn't mean to cancel only two days before#I tried to tell my teacher I wouldn't be able to handle it from the minute she gave me the offer#I thought in the two months I've known about it I would have been able to hype myself up and do it#but several borderline panic attacks in the weeks leading up to it told me otherwise#so I snapped and said I wouldn't do it#I know I disappointed her bc she told me no one else would have a performance at all similar to mine#she told all her colleagues about how great it'd be. before I cancelled she invited another teacher to watch me rehearse#obviously didn't once I told her I won't do it#and the other teacher asked why we didn't call her after the lesson was over. my teacher didn't say anything in front of me#but said goodbye to me and led the other teacher to the back room#to complain about me? voice her disappointment? just tell her what happened? I don't know#but I never asked how the concert went and she never brought up wishing I was there. we haven't talked about it since#haven't practiced that song since either#so... yeah. I do feel insanely guilty. and disappointing people is a huge trigger for me.#and being reminded so suddenly did almost make me cry I won't deny it#I almost regret cancelling.. but reminding myself it's better for my already rapidly deteriorating mental health in the long run kinda helps#okay. okay. deep breaths. chill#one evening without something making me upset. please#it's literally no big deal. calm down#fuuuckkkkk why am I like this#pull yourself together ffs
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šāļøšāļøokay okay okay so so far within the og divisions we have:
ā¤ļø: they strive for a world where words solve conflict. they pointedly did not use mics to express this. at the end of the track, theyāre dynamic as brothers has shifted to a more equal dynamic, where ichiro doesnāt feel so compelled to raise them
š: they strive for a world without violence and used their mics to resolve the conflict. at the end of the track, they reject their status quo and aim to find a new one to change the world without the use of violence
š: wanted to be real with each other and used their mics to get that across. at the end of the track tho, they say that truth doesnāt really matter anyway and stay true to the selves they formed their bond with
š©¶: a battle of wills using the mics. jakuraiās love for yotsutsuji manifested in the form of sacrificing himself and dohifu trying to stop him using their love for their bond as mtr. at the end of the track itās that love thatās saved jakurai, healed hifumi and elevated doppoās status at work
and things have changed for all theyāve stayed the same so iām genuinely curious where nagosaka fits in this lol
#vee queued to fill the void#as iām typing this i havenāt really processed the scope of mtrās story lmao#like it may be bc iām still a matenhoe forever and always but holy shit their love literally changed their lives#and seeing those threads come to a head like that literally made me want to projectile vomit LOL CAN NEVER FEEL NORMAL ABOUT AN MTR DT EVER#i want to draw!!!!!! the scene where sensei as calm and as at peace as heās ever been!!!!!!!!#tell dohifu they may think him using the true hypnosis mic to save yotsutsuji is stupidity but to him!!!!!!#itās literally the most important thing!!!!!!!! god!!!!!!!!! itās the utter peace in his voice that literally kills me listening it!!!!!#doppo: with all due respect this boils down to your ego#sensei: my ego? well that certainly may be the case. it is i who will be saved by doing this#me: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHGG#*sniffs* god hypmic has been insane for these tracks on god pls tell me iām not the only one who sees how insane hypmic rn#and like??????????? wtf can dh and bat deal with??????? i wish i was big brained to see where nagosaka has been going towards lol#dh has to be setting the tone tho since lowkey???? tdd are paralleling with their 1st drb match ups lol bbmtc want basically the same thing#and fpmtr reaffirmed their bonds and identities in theirs#and like āthe trioā makes me think rosasa are finally going to punch rei in the face for ditching them lol#but it might be time for dh to enter in the plot frfr trying to get rei from doing stuff on his own#so does bat parallel that??? trying to stop kuukou from doing things on his own???? something else?????#bc hitoya is deadass the only who has interacted with the plot in any way lmao (kuukou too as a victim of the true hypnosis mic)#this is me processing things out loud gomen thanks for attending the ted tag vomit lmao
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as an as/tarion fucker i can say with 100000% certainty as/tarion fuckers are the worst this fandom has to offer
#meg.txt#how are wyll and minthara romancers 'insane' for wanting their romances to be complete and unbroken??????#yeah as/tarion's kissing animation broke#big fucking deal when an entire smex scene was fucked with wyll and minthara's romance was literally broken due to bugs#calm tf down#everyone is so goddamn annoying#this is why i no longer want anything to do with this fandom#it's starting to smell like the fandom that rhymes with smagon smage
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feel like i always have to have something to sayā¢ļø when i text my friends, but like, i always have to remind myself that i could just say hi, or like send funny imageā¢ļø and it will be fine āŗļø <(clenching fists)
#gwen attempts friendship#<title of my extremely unpopular memoir#i feel like i have to say big thingsā¢ļø#like something needs to be happening#i need a topic#and i also have to remind myself that my friends love me and donāt find me as annoying as i think they do#itās fine!!!!#*bites inside of mouth until i draw blood*#anyways iām a adult and iām soo normal at human bonding x#idk iām having weird brain timeā¢ļø again lately and iām just dealing with that#or trying to in the healthiest way i can#people enjoy talking to me#people like me and even love me#said to the bathroom mirror as i grip the sink so hard my knuckles turn white#i feel like iām avoiding my friends but itās also fine if we donāt talk 24/7#they will not forget me#their object permanence of me isnāt that bad please calm down#we will catch up at a later date and it will be nice#itās only bad if iām deliberately isolating myself#and iām not so itās fine#just kinda dissociating and forgetting to reply or that i meant to tell them things etc#honestly itās my object permance thatās the problem#iād literally forget my brain if it wasnāt inside my head#itās fun <3#anyways another fun gwen ramble for yāall
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Girl help why is top/bottom discourse so big on twitter rn holy shit
#imean-#personally i love top aziraphale#but like bottom is also cool like whats the big deal??#i saw that thing from that chinese fan and imean i see a lot of their points and thats why that kind if fancontent isnt really my favorite#and i get what their trying to say and i think with things like this its interesting to see how cultural influences+social norms play into i#but like#its not that big of a deallll#its not the moral sin you think it is its just a different kind of content just calm down please#and now everyones all worked up about and iguess by even writing my thoughts here im contributing to that butā¦ manā¦#i literally follow some of the chinese bottom!az x top!crowley creators theyre talking about#i know exactly what they mean when theyāre complaining about that stuff i notice it too#but its not a bad thing? like yeah its not my favorite personally but like?? its just fanart??? and to some people its their favorite thing#this isnt a moral issue who do you think you are#good omens#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#aziraphale x crowley#crowley x aziraphale
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Iām finally about to do something very small and silly that iāve been too scared to do for months my brain is literally yelling at me to run away screaming and crying and that iām going to die
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...It's kind of wild when the terf that you got into a fight with and had to write an essay on "Why violence is wrong" back in high school now works at the pharmacy where you get your medication from...
#I'm sorry for the vent I just am mad that she could be in a PHARMACY. I hope she's at least changed her ways.#she should not be working in health if she still thinks this way.#She definitely remembered me too. I don't think she could forget honestly. neither of us was injured btw.#It wasn't a āfightā in the way you think most fights are. she called this sweet trans boy the word rhymes with maggot (that's what she is)#a maggot.#while she was moving around a lot and idk. rage took over and I twisted her arm and she happened to fall and then I cussed her out#I probably over did it but moving her arms around while ranting and then calling him that just pushed me over. I WAS calm at first.#He was a shy and quiet kid and he ādidn't want to make a big deal about itā so I tried to follow his request but... you know.#it was in theatre behind the curtains during rehearsal and everyone heard/saw so yea. I got into trouble. no detention surprisingly#it was a long time coming. she would constantly harass him with shit about how āYou still look like a girlā. and using wrong pronouns#and teachers were told but they didnt' do shit. She also was just a mean person. This guy wasn't the only person she bullied#I only wrote on why VIOLENCE was wrong. not about what I did. The only thing I feel bad about is that I scared the poor guy I was defending#I don't remember what I said (I was that mad) but apparently I "picked her personality apart like a bunch of lego bricks and then told her#why the ālego brickā is fucked upā He was just 14-15 and she was 18 btwšliterally harrassing a sweet KID.#was convenient though because all I had to do was give her a look and she would immediately back down. idk what I said when I yelled#at her but it was nice that I could do that whenever she would start shit#Mad rambles#idk y'all I'm scared that she's in HEALTH. if I know anything I'll see if I can report her because while I hope she wouldn't fuck with tran#folks medications idk for sure. she was really cruel back in high school.#vent#rant#I try not to post shit like this but I'm worried you know?
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NOOOOOOOOOOOO IT ALL WENT BACK TO HOW IT WAS NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIRLS WHEN THE STATUS QUO IS RESTORED ETC ETCG
#i hv many thoughts n frustrations but cant articulate them atm#wwdits s5 spoilers ////#di4ry#wwdits#EDIT OK IVE CALMED DOWN i think i was mostly frustrated abt the wishes thing !!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought the writers were planning 2 do smt wit#h that what the heckkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO LIKE OKAY i AM aware things are not LITERALLY EXACTLY how they were b4. externally its back 2 squ#are one but internally theres been some changes . guillermo realizes being a vamp is not what he TRULY wants and nandor realizes#mm yea guillermo dying is kind of a big deal for me actually#BUT THEY ARE STILL SO OBLIVIOUS IM!!!!!!!!!!! I'm Fine......... š¤ššššš¤š¤ šš¤šš¤#NO OK IM NOT DONE THEY PLAYED US WITH THE GENIE THING WHAT THE HELL DID NANDOR SPEND THE LAST WISH ON
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Some of my favorite quotes from my favorite play, The Busy World is Hushed
"I'm somebody's only son. So, it's my job to watch him when he gets sick, it's my job to bury him. It's part of the deal, isn't it?"
"I'm not terribly holy when I'm faced with the prospect of losing something I love."
"It's relatively easy for Christianity to explain genocides and wars, you blame them on the devil or a world gone wrong. But, watching my father die is the most natural, inevitable thing. It's how the world is supposed to work, and it's unspeakably cruel."
"You always say it's God when it's really just you."
"Here's where I see God: He's your aching heart in the dead of winter. He's reaching out to you right now, with all the power to ease your pain and lift your burden. Will you take His hand?"
"Because the real question is not what your philosophy is but how it's working for you. If it's sustaining you."
"Nothing ever comes to you entirely clean, and if you walk away from everything once it gets a little tarnished, then you will always be walking away."
"But what's the use of loving people so strongly and passionately when, in the end, it isn't nearly enough to save them?"
#Also Hamish Linklater is in it and it's so good#They did an audio recording of it and I've listened to it so many times#It's vv gay. Three main characters#A priest. Her son. And the guy she hired to help write her book thingy#The two guys are š
#And she's just like. Not a big deal about it#She WANTS the guy to date her son bc she hopes it'll calm him down bc he's all over the place lol#But it's also very sad#Which is why I like it I guess#Anyway#The Busy World is Hushed#I really wanna get a physical copy of it#Literally got me through last year lol
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Sorry but I think yāall are being big huge babies about the ui change ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
#itās not a big deal?? calm down#yeah it clearly could be improved but who literally cares if it looks kinda twitter-ish
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Okay, but Tumblr Eurofans stop being extremely toxic challenge (impossible)
#same thing every year smh#I get it my favourite didn't win either#in fact most of my faves are on the right side of the board lmao#but I swear y'all will just say the most awful things like it's no big deal#it's okay my dudes. it's literally okay.#I still haven't forgotten what y'all were saying about Duncan Laurence and Jamala#among other entries (especially the winners)#Anyways this isn't even going into my tag I'm just salty#I'll reblog some memes tomorrow when things calm down
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I get distressed easily when other people are distressed, so I was very much not vibing with the end of todayās generation loss episodeĀ
#I almost cried when I saw Niki crying last time#so this was extra upsetting#Genuinely don't know if I'll be able to rewatch todays ep#blood and gore? Fine#Derealization? No big deal#someone sounding upset? Nope#cant handle it#literally had to make myself calm down with breathing exercises during the stream#i mean it was like panic attack type freaked out#but i was NOT vibing#generation loss#gen loss#generation loss spoilers#I guess
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The Defenders (1972) #75
#noo my beloved team is falling apart#the Hulk quitting isnāt actually that big of a deal cause he quits all the time and always comes back lol#also heās so reactive#āHulk always thought group was stupid idea!ā#he was reaffirming his commitment to his friends literally right before this#and heās actually said that exact thing before#but I donāt know what to make of Kyle straight up dissolving the team#and now the Hulk doesnāt have the riding academy as his one safe space š¢#itās not that Kyle having a temper is new but heās never said anything negative about the Defenders as a group before#āthe whole thing was just one long nightmareā is so intense#the Defenders were like the most important thing to Kyle#and the people in it were the people closest to him#like I canāt imagine that feeling realistically holding#like surely heāll calm down and retract that- right? š¢#marvel#bruce banner#kyle richmond#valkyrie#patsy walker#my posts#comic panels
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Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
the best characters are ones that suffer from a chronic case of Dramatic Cunt Syndrome
#he calmed down a bit since he joined the good guys#but he hammed up literally everything during his Evil Arc#if it's not a big deal by god he will MAKE it a big deal#Bad yelp reviews? Getting dumped by your gf of 2 months? Dojo rivalries? Your crush making other friends because you're being an ass?#your crush interacting with women in general at all???? Even while you have a girlfriend and shouldn't actually care?#all reasons for violence and also being the biggest drama queen ever#love this trashfire guy#eli moskowitz#hawk
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kinda cute how many ppl think that the whole point of shone isn't to be a love triangle subplot. like why do u think he never saw a picture of kang? have u never watched a romcom before?
#and they HATE the idea of it omg calm down it's not a big deal#like he's not going to do anything lol#it's literally just a sitcom misunderstanding#drama liveblog
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Okay Iām currently furious that migraines are often so blindly easy to treat and I had to find this out myself at the age of 26 when Iāve been to a neurologist since I was 11 lol so Iām about to teach you two neat and fast little tricks to deal with pain!
The first is the sternocleidomastoid muscle, or the SCM muscle.
This big red section is responsible for pain around the eye, cheekbone, and jaw, as well as some temple pain. Literally all you have to do is angle your head down a little, angle it away from the side that hurts, and then you can gently pinch and rub that muscle. I find it best to start at the bottom and travel upwards. The relief is so immediate! You can increase pressure as you feel comfortable doing so.
Here is a short and easy video showing this in action
The second is a fast and easy stretch that soothes your vagus nerve, which is the nerve responsible for calming you down. The vagus nerve, for those unfamiliar, is stimulated by deep breathing such as yawning, sighing, singing, or taking a deep breath to calm your anger in a tense situation.
You can stretch this out by sitting up as straight as possible (this does not have to be perfect to work) and interlacing your fingers. Put your hands on the back of your head with your thumbs going down the sides of your neck and, while keeping your face forward, look all the way to one side with just your eyes. Hold that until you feel the urge to breathe deeply or yawn, or until you can tell thereās a change. Then do the same thing on the other side. When you put your arms down, you should clearly be able to turn your head farther in both directions. If the first session doesnāt get rid of your migraine, rest and repeat as many times as necessary. I even get a little fancy with it and roll my eyes up and down along the outer edge sometimes to stretch as much as I can.
If you need a visual hereās a good video on it. I know some of the language they use seems questionable but this is real and simple science and should not be discarded because itās been adopted by the trendy wellness crowd!
I seriously cannot believe I didnāt hear a word of this from any doctor in my life. Additionally, if you get frequent recurring migraines, you may want to see a dietician. Migraines can be caused by foods containing histamines, lectin, etc. and can also be caused by high blood pressure in specific situations such as exercise, stress, and even sex.
If any of this information helps you Iād love to hear it btw! Itās so so fast and easy to do. Good luck!
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