#it's literally no big deal. calm down
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One of the singing competitions my grandma endlessly watches featured a song I was learning in singing lessons and was supposed to perform before I cancelled two days prior to the concert, so now I'm like... half triggered, half wrecked with guilt
#in my defense I didn't mean to cancel only two days before#I tried to tell my teacher I wouldn't be able to handle it from the minute she gave me the offer#I thought in the two months I've known about it I would have been able to hype myself up and do it#but several borderline panic attacks in the weeks leading up to it told me otherwise#so I snapped and said I wouldn't do it#I know I disappointed her bc she told me no one else would have a performance at all similar to mine#she told all her colleagues about how great it'd be. before I cancelled she invited another teacher to watch me rehearse#obviously didn't once I told her I won't do it#and the other teacher asked why we didn't call her after the lesson was over. my teacher didn't say anything in front of me#but said goodbye to me and led the other teacher to the back room#to complain about me? voice her disappointment? just tell her what happened? I don't know#but I never asked how the concert went and she never brought up wishing I was there. we haven't talked about it since#haven't practiced that song since either#so... yeah. I do feel insanely guilty. and disappointing people is a huge trigger for me.#and being reminded so suddenly did almost make me cry I won't deny it#I almost regret cancelling.. but reminding myself it's better for my already rapidly deteriorating mental health in the long run kinda helps#okay. okay. deep breaths. chill#one evening without something making me upset. please#it's literally no big deal. calm down#fuuuckkkkk why am I like this#pull yourself together ffs
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🙂↕️🙂↕️okay okay okay so so far within the og divisions we have:
❤️: they strive for a world where words solve conflict. they pointedly did not use mics to express this. at the end of the track, they’re dynamic as brothers has shifted to a more equal dynamic, where ichiro doesn’t feel so compelled to raise them
💙: they strive for a world without violence and used their mics to resolve the conflict. at the end of the track, they reject their status quo and aim to find a new one to change the world without the use of violence
💛: wanted to be real with each other and used their mics to get that across. at the end of the track tho, they say that truth doesn’t really matter anyway and stay true to the selves they formed their bond with
🩶: a battle of wills using the mics. jakurai’s love for yotsutsuji manifested in the form of sacrificing himself and dohifu trying to stop him using their love for their bond as mtr. at the end of the track it’s that love that’s saved jakurai, healed hifumi and elevated doppo’s status at work
and things have changed for all they’ve stayed the same so i’m genuinely curious where nagosaka fits in this lol
#vee queued to fill the void#as i’m typing this i haven’t really processed the scope of mtr’s story lmao#like it may be bc i’m still a matenhoe forever and always but holy shit their love literally changed their lives#and seeing those threads come to a head like that literally made me want to projectile vomit LOL CAN NEVER FEEL NORMAL ABOUT AN MTR DT EVER#i want to draw!!!!!! the scene where sensei as calm and as at peace as he’s ever been!!!!!!!!#tell dohifu they may think him using the true hypnosis mic to save yotsutsuji is stupidity but to him!!!!!!#it’s literally the most important thing!!!!!!!! god!!!!!!!!! it’s the utter peace in his voice that literally kills me listening it!!!!!#doppo: with all due respect this boils down to your ego#sensei: my ego? well that certainly may be the case. it is i who will be saved by doing this#me: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHGG#*sniffs* god hypmic has been insane for these tracks on god pls tell me i’m not the only one who sees how insane hypmic rn#and like??????????? wtf can dh and bat deal with??????? i wish i was big brained to see where nagosaka has been going towards lol#dh has to be setting the tone tho since lowkey???? tdd are paralleling with their 1st drb match ups lol bbmtc want basically the same thing#and fpmtr reaffirmed their bonds and identities in theirs#and like ‘the trio’ makes me think rosasa are finally going to punch rei in the face for ditching them lol#but it might be time for dh to enter in the plot frfr trying to get rei from doing stuff on his own#so does bat parallel that??? trying to stop kuukou from doing things on his own???? something else?????#bc hitoya is deadass the only who has interacted with the plot in any way lmao (kuukou too as a victim of the true hypnosis mic)#this is me processing things out loud gomen thanks for attending the ted tag vomit lmao
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as an as/tarion fucker i can say with 100000% certainty as/tarion fuckers are the worst this fandom has to offer
#meg.txt#how are wyll and minthara romancers 'insane' for wanting their romances to be complete and unbroken??????#yeah as/tarion's kissing animation broke#big fucking deal when an entire smex scene was fucked with wyll and minthara's romance was literally broken due to bugs#calm tf down#everyone is so goddamn annoying#this is why i no longer want anything to do with this fandom#it's starting to smell like the fandom that rhymes with smagon smage
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anxiety disorder is such a bitch i’m excited to go to the renaissance festival with my friends tomorrow and because i am excited my body is excited which means i am now Scared . COOL !
#marzi speaks#no brain. we do not need to worry about whether we’ll fuck up our makeup#we are going to a fun festival with close friends. you are not competing in a beauty pageant#you’re gonna keep the makeup relatively simple anyways. you’re barely even gonna use any eyeliner. it’s Fine#you do not need to worry about disability things. your friends are very accomodating and in that group is another person with a disability#and you two both will be needing benches. so it will be fine.#if you start feeling sick you go find a quiet place to relax or if you really have to: leave#if your corset gets too tight. you can: take it off !! literally it is no big deal#it’s fine. it will be a great time. calm down#ah stress brain. how you piss me off
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feel like i always have to have something to say™️ when i text my friends, but like, i always have to remind myself that i could just say hi, or like send funny image™️ and it will be fine ☺️ <(clenching fists)
#gwen attempts friendship#<title of my extremely unpopular memoir#i feel like i have to say big things™️#like something needs to be happening#i need a topic#and i also have to remind myself that my friends love me and don’t find me as annoying as i think they do#it’s fine!!!!#*bites inside of mouth until i draw blood*#anyways i’m a adult and i’m soo normal at human bonding x#idk i’m having weird brain time™️ again lately and i’m just dealing with that#or trying to in the healthiest way i can#people enjoy talking to me#people like me and even love me#said to the bathroom mirror as i grip the sink so hard my knuckles turn white#i feel like i’m avoiding my friends but it’s also fine if we don’t talk 24/7#they will not forget me#their object permanence of me isn’t that bad please calm down#we will catch up at a later date and it will be nice#it’s only bad if i’m deliberately isolating myself#and i’m not so it’s fine#just kinda dissociating and forgetting to reply or that i meant to tell them things etc#honestly it’s my object permance that’s the problem#i’d literally forget my brain if it wasn’t inside my head#it’s fun <3#anyways another fun gwen ramble for y’all
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Girl help why is top/bottom discourse so big on twitter rn holy shit
#imean-#personally i love top aziraphale#but like bottom is also cool like whats the big deal??#i saw that thing from that chinese fan and imean i see a lot of their points and thats why that kind if fancontent isnt really my favorite#and i get what their trying to say and i think with things like this its interesting to see how cultural influences+social norms play into i#but like#its not that big of a deallll#its not the moral sin you think it is its just a different kind of content just calm down please#and now everyones all worked up about and iguess by even writing my thoughts here im contributing to that but… man…#i literally follow some of the chinese bottom!az x top!crowley creators theyre talking about#i know exactly what they mean when they’re complaining about that stuff i notice it too#but its not a bad thing? like yeah its not my favorite personally but like?? its just fanart??? and to some people its their favorite thing#this isnt a moral issue who do you think you are#good omens#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#aziraphale x crowley#crowley x aziraphale
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I’m finally about to do something very small and silly that i’ve been too scared to do for months my brain is literally yelling at me to run away screaming and crying and that i’m going to die
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...It's kind of wild when the terf that you got into a fight with and had to write an essay on "Why violence is wrong" back in high school now works at the pharmacy where you get your medication from...
#I'm sorry for the vent I just am mad that she could be in a PHARMACY. I hope she's at least changed her ways.#she should not be working in health if she still thinks this way.#She definitely remembered me too. I don't think she could forget honestly. neither of us was injured btw.#It wasn't a “fight” in the way you think most fights are. she called this sweet trans boy the word rhymes with maggot (that's what she is)#a maggot.#while she was moving around a lot and idk. rage took over and I twisted her arm and she happened to fall and then I cussed her out#I probably over did it but moving her arms around while ranting and then calling him that just pushed me over. I WAS calm at first.#He was a shy and quiet kid and he “didn't want to make a big deal about it” so I tried to follow his request but... you know.#it was in theatre behind the curtains during rehearsal and everyone heard/saw so yea. I got into trouble. no detention surprisingly#it was a long time coming. she would constantly harass him with shit about how “You still look like a girl”. and using wrong pronouns#and teachers were told but they didnt' do shit. She also was just a mean person. This guy wasn't the only person she bullied#I only wrote on why VIOLENCE was wrong. not about what I did. The only thing I feel bad about is that I scared the poor guy I was defending#I don't remember what I said (I was that mad) but apparently I "picked her personality apart like a bunch of lego bricks and then told her#why the “lego brick” is fucked up“ He was just 14-15 and she was 18 btw😒literally harrassing a sweet KID.#was convenient though because all I had to do was give her a look and she would immediately back down. idk what I said when I yelled#at her but it was nice that I could do that whenever she would start shit#Mad rambles#idk y'all I'm scared that she's in HEALTH. if I know anything I'll see if I can report her because while I hope she wouldn't fuck with tran#folks medications idk for sure. she was really cruel back in high school.#vent#rant#I try not to post shit like this but I'm worried you know?
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NOOOOOOOOOOOO IT ALL WENT BACK TO HOW IT WAS NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIRLS WHEN THE STATUS QUO IS RESTORED ETC ETCG
#i hv many thoughts n frustrations but cant articulate them atm#wwdits s5 spoilers ////#di4ry#wwdits#EDIT OK IVE CALMED DOWN i think i was mostly frustrated abt the wishes thing !!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought the writers were planning 2 do smt wit#h that what the heckkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO LIKE OKAY i AM aware things are not LITERALLY EXACTLY how they were b4. externally its back 2 squ#are one but internally theres been some changes . guillermo realizes being a vamp is not what he TRULY wants and nandor realizes#mm yea guillermo dying is kind of a big deal for me actually#BUT THEY ARE STILL SO OBLIVIOUS IM!!!!!!!!!!! I'm Fine......... 🤜👊👊👊👊🤜🤜 👊🤜👊🤜#NO OK IM NOT DONE THEY PLAYED US WITH THE GENIE THING WHAT THE HELL DID NANDOR SPEND THE LAST WISH ON
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Some of my favorite quotes from my favorite play, The Busy World is Hushed
"I'm somebody's only son. So, it's my job to watch him when he gets sick, it's my job to bury him. It's part of the deal, isn't it?"
"I'm not terribly holy when I'm faced with the prospect of losing something I love."
"It's relatively easy for Christianity to explain genocides and wars, you blame them on the devil or a world gone wrong. But, watching my father die is the most natural, inevitable thing. It's how the world is supposed to work, and it's unspeakably cruel."
"You always say it's God when it's really just you."
"Here's where I see God: He's your aching heart in the dead of winter. He's reaching out to you right now, with all the power to ease your pain and lift your burden. Will you take His hand?"
"Because the real question is not what your philosophy is but how it's working for you. If it's sustaining you."
"Nothing ever comes to you entirely clean, and if you walk away from everything once it gets a little tarnished, then you will always be walking away."
"But what's the use of loving people so strongly and passionately when, in the end, it isn't nearly enough to save them?"
#Also Hamish Linklater is in it and it's so good#They did an audio recording of it and I've listened to it so many times#It's vv gay. Three main characters#A priest. Her son. And the guy she hired to help write her book thingy#The two guys are 💅#And she's just like. Not a big deal about it#She WANTS the guy to date her son bc she hopes it'll calm him down bc he's all over the place lol#But it's also very sad#Which is why I like it I guess#Anyway#The Busy World is Hushed#I really wanna get a physical copy of it#Literally got me through last year lol
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Sorry but I think y’all are being big huge babies about the ui change ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#it’s not a big deal?? calm down#yeah it clearly could be improved but who literally cares if it looks kinda twitter-ish
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Okay, but Tumblr Eurofans stop being extremely toxic challenge (impossible)
#same thing every year smh#I get it my favourite didn't win either#in fact most of my faves are on the right side of the board lmao#but I swear y'all will just say the most awful things like it's no big deal#it's okay my dudes. it's literally okay.#I still haven't forgotten what y'all were saying about Duncan Laurence and Jamala#among other entries (especially the winners)#Anyways this isn't even going into my tag I'm just salty#I'll reblog some memes tomorrow when things calm down
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I get distressed easily when other people are distressed, so I was very much not vibing with the end of today’s generation loss episode
#I almost cried when I saw Niki crying last time#so this was extra upsetting#Genuinely don't know if I'll be able to rewatch todays ep#blood and gore? Fine#Derealization? No big deal#someone sounding upset? Nope#cant handle it#literally had to make myself calm down with breathing exercises during the stream#i mean it was like panic attack type freaked out#but i was NOT vibing#generation loss#gen loss#generation loss spoilers#I guess
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The Defenders (1972) #75
#noo my beloved team is falling apart#the Hulk quitting isn’t actually that big of a deal cause he quits all the time and always comes back lol#also he’s so reactive#‘Hulk always thought group was stupid idea!’#he was reaffirming his commitment to his friends literally right before this#and he’s actually said that exact thing before#but I don’t know what to make of Kyle straight up dissolving the team#and now the Hulk doesn’t have the riding academy as his one safe space 😢#it’s not that Kyle having a temper is new but he’s never said anything negative about the Defenders as a group before#‘the whole thing was just one long nightmare’ is so intense#the Defenders were like the most important thing to Kyle#and the people in it were the people closest to him#like I can’t imagine that feeling realistically holding#like surely he’ll calm down and retract that- right? 😢#marvel#bruce banner#kyle richmond#valkyrie#patsy walker#my posts#comic panels
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Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
the best characters are ones that suffer from a chronic case of Dramatic Cunt Syndrome
#he calmed down a bit since he joined the good guys#but he hammed up literally everything during his Evil Arc#if it's not a big deal by god he will MAKE it a big deal#Bad yelp reviews? Getting dumped by your gf of 2 months? Dojo rivalries? Your crush making other friends because you're being an ass?#your crush interacting with women in general at all???? Even while you have a girlfriend and shouldn't actually care?#all reasons for violence and also being the biggest drama queen ever#love this trashfire guy#eli moskowitz#hawk
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kinda cute how many ppl think that the whole point of shone isn't to be a love triangle subplot. like why do u think he never saw a picture of kang? have u never watched a romcom before?
#and they HATE the idea of it omg calm down it's not a big deal#like he's not going to do anything lol#it's literally just a sitcom misunderstanding#drama liveblog
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