#it's like.. warm and secure
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this might just be the aroace showing but actually what the fuck IS kissing?? literally just pressing ur mouths together??? like you eat w those things what the hell is going on?????
#like okay whatever it makes sense sometimes#but when you Really think about it#what even is that???#like hugging makes sense#it's like.. warm and secure#but KISSING??#w ur spit and mouth bacteria and your lunch???#hello??#aroace
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I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#today was….not good#and at one point i had a moment#where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it#but im still really hopeful it will happen some day#because all i want in this world is to feel secure#and for others to feel secure around me#and for everyone to feel secure around people they love#because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t#but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all#im manifesting it#im completely okay btw things just got a little rough#and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay#im gay and i like sleeping#also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever#im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight
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I just saw somebody comment "they're not homeless. they're vagrants and they choose that lifestyle" and i just want to hunt them down and shake some fucking sense into them. nobody is willingly choosing to live outside on the side of the road behind a gas station. nobody wants to sit on a bus stop bench all day because they have nowhere else to go. shut the fuck up with "they choose this" if you lost everything and somebody said that about you it would be ww3
#but that's the thing isnt it#people who say shit like that cannot even conceptualize losing everything#so secure and protected their whole lives that the idea of not having money is uncomputable#they just choose to do that right? they just choose not to go to a warm bed right?? right?? *sweating crying voice breaking* right?????
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unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality
au belongs to @pluck-heartstrings !! if u havent read or caught up u totally should <3 (sorry for the tag)
#pluck my heartstrings#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf security breach au#fnaf au#fnaf daycare au#fnaf dca#something something fairytale princess#the 2nd pic is the gradient map under that i think looks cool#kind of like out of a story book yk??#anyways im gonna go eat cereal#the first thing i did was wake up and finish this lmao#heavily referenced “sleeping beauty” by louis sussman hell-born !!#the sculpture is gorgeous and the latest pmh chapter still has me in shambles#i am not ready for any of the endings good or bad fuck#i had intentions to clean this up and line it once the “warm up” got this far but i did NAWT have enough energy for that#pingdoobles#ALSO THANK YOU FOR 500 FOLLLWS IN 3 MONTHS?? MIND BOGGLING RN
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"C'mere you!~" 💋💞✨
Regularly scheduled sappy fluff + me experimenting with the DCA'S eyes? My indecisive brain can't commit to how I draw them one way or another though..
I am happy with how I draw their outfit at least~ Oh! I also tried a new brush for shading~ ✨
-Thanks for looking!! 💗💗✨
#dca#sundrop#dca fandom#dca community#daycare attendant#security breach#fnaf#wabbitsart#sun x oc#sun x y/n#plus size y/n#sun#sunnydrop#i really like this one <33333#i needed to finish something warm and sweet after some bad news last week ughh </33
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Quick fiber arts tip: if you're knitting or crocheting or anything, get a book light. I've got one set up right behind me when I crochet, and it's so bright in a way that my lamp never is. It's made crocheting on darker yarns much easier, and I find that it strains my eyes less because I don't have to focus so hard on what I'm doing because I can actually see what I'm doing.
#art#fiber art#crochet#knitting#i got my book light from barnes and noble ngl and i love it so much#i would recommend a book light like mine where you can use either a battery power source or a plug-in power souce so that you have options#i just clipped mine behind me where my bedframe has a divet and it's really secure#i know this might seem like a common sense thing but i didn't really think about it until i tried it out for myself#and i personally prefer white or cool light versus warm light like my lamp so that's a bonus#these type of book lights can be expensive but i think it's well-worth the price (mine was about $25USD i think?)
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Randomly consumed today by the thought of henghill cuddles, but like from a specific point in their relationship, like after they've only recently started laying in the same bed together.
It's something that takes them a long time to work up to; they both have nightmares, and yeah, Dan Heng is a Vidyadhara and he can heal himself beyond anything Boothill could accidentally do to him, but still. Boothill is made of metal now. He's heavy. It wouldn't take much, just a single flailing limb to cause some damage. He still gets up after Dan Heng falls asleep, and sneaks down into the guest cabin in one of the other cars.
But he'll lay in bed with Dan Heng until then. At first Boothill would always try to situate a blanket between them, because well. Metal isn't exactly pleasant to cuddle. But more and more lately, he's noticed Dan Heng keeps worming his way around their soft barrier and just kind of...rubbing his hand along him? Open palm up the curve of his side, across the planes of his chest, into the star-shape at his solar plexus, down the plates of his abdomen, back to his side again. Fingertips tap soundlessly against metal, or press into dents and divots, or smooth over old scars in the steel.
"Ya don't hav'ta do that, ya know."
"Does it bother you?"
Dan Heng's hand has already stopped, settling somewhere on the futon, neutral ground. Boothill clarifies that no, it doesn't bother him. But he can't feel any of it. He only knows he's doing it because he can see the motion out of the corner of his eye. Dan Heng doesn't need to go through the extra effort to do things for him like he would someone with a normal human body.
And Dan Heng goes quiet, just long enough that Boothill gets curious and turns to look at him over his shoulder. He has the cute little furrow between his brows, like when he's thinking.
And then he opens that pretty mouth of his and says, "That's alright, I think I'm doing it for myself, anyway" and Boothill nearly wheezes because wow, Dan Heng is almost never quite that honest when it comes to himself fdklsajlkd
Boothill cackles in surprise and asks point blank what he means, because what could he be getting out of that? Given the implied permission, Dan Heng's hand starts it's usual route again. Side, chest, solar plexus, abdomen, side. Boothill can practically hear him chewing on his words.
"I like that you're warm," is what he finally says, and Boothill suddenly feels like a bullet has just grazed something vital. "All the processes you run increase your temperature," Dan Heng's hand fans out across a span of steel and he holds it there, like he's soaking up the heat. "And your metal is smooth, it feels pleasant to touch," his fingertips move in circles, slip into a divot perfectly sized, rub back and forth. Boothill silently wills one of his cooling fans threatening to open up to stay closed.
"I like how you feel under my hands. That's all." Headshot! No recovery possible.
"...Suit yerself, then," and Boothill quickly turns back over before Dan Heng can see it in his face, how close he just hit to his heart.
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#hsr dan heng#hsr boothill#pardon me I read a really really good porno this morning and was feeling inspired fjdklasjfkld#Look soft fuzzy super plush things are my faves- but nice smooth metal is so so nice too.#you know those fidget toys that are silky smooth material and they just have like a perfect little divot to rub the pad of your thumb into?#that's the kind of thing I'm getting at.#plus. plus!!#Dan Heng seems to dislike the cold. And we see why in 2.4 when he comments that the Shackling Prison is as cold as he remembers it.#And Dan Heng sleeps in the archive for a reason. he likes the sense of security in there.#it's a huge deal for him after being so violently hunted for so long#and I love the thought that Boothill reminds him of that. He's warm and he whirs and he's made of metal like some of the machinery in there#Dan Heng likes that regardless of whether he realizes why or not.#he likes to touch him. he just likes how he feels <3#and I think that would be something important to Boothill too because like. I don't think he HATES his body or anything.#but he didn't exactly get it under happy circumstances. and he does consider his human body as a toll that had to be paid.#he refers to any malfunctions as frightening to other people in one of his parlor car lines.#he refers to himself as a man already dead.#So I think it would hit a little harder than Boothill's prepared for to hear Dan Heng not only doesn't mind but even likes his body as it i#they're so sweet I love them so much uweh#hsr#dan heng#boothill
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sketchbook doobles of the lad~
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#character art#sketches#gnomes#cats#hiring security for our rooms 😌 cat should be bigger though. it STARTED bigger idk what happened lmao#I wanna finish (and tweak) both of these digitally-- face needs adjusting in the portrait and cat needs embiggening in the one with the cat#but I still like em as is#look at him.... perfect boy.....#he left the group and returned later just. With Some Cats. and when the party was like. '... hey uh--' this was the first thing he said lol#hired to watch our rooms since we've gotten on the wrong side of a cult with at least one guy who can turn into a regular snake#hey Do Not Try To Kill It but wake us up if you see literally anything come in here. your fee is Warm Rooms And Scritches thank you#felix to the party: yeah I used to babysit these guys#limerick: 🤨???#my OCs#felix#dungeons and doodles#emberstead
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Taiga Saejima in Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth (January 26th, 2024)
#infinite wealth spoilers#yakuza#yakuzaedit#like a dragon#like a dragon: infinite wealth#saejima taiga#taiga saejima#ryu ga gotoku#gamingedit#dailyvideogames#dailygaming#mine#y8#i desperately need to give this man my social security number#also why did he even change his jacket... this one looks less warm than his usual one?
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sun sun sun sun su
#i used him alot to warm up LOL#i still like some of these#pervart#daycare attendant#sundrop#moondrop#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#old art
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How would Binah act when sad? Not say, just watched a sad movie but just a busy day and put her the kind of bad mood where it’s a mix of light sadness and frustration and you feel just defeated from everything
How would she act and what would help motivate her again?
Also really love your acc, I read these every night and it always kicks my legs
exactly the same to everyone else. Binah's emotional cues are subtle and silent. she makes sure to keep it that way, and yet you're always able to see past them. if you see her first, you tilt your head, that soft, tender, heartbreaking frown of concern on your face as you ask her what's wrong. Binah knows you're safe. she can be something apart from calm and steady and mysterious with you. when the world is heavy with raindrops and dread she seeks you out at the end of the day, where you're still toiling away over papers and books. there's only the soft thump of footsteps before a weight drapes over your shoulders. Binah sighs very quietly as she hugs you, pressing her lips against the top of your head
"Spare me a few minutes, if you can."
she murmurs, slightly pleading, and you always can. she's the one leaning quietly against you today, sweeping her heavy black cloak over both of you. Binah hums softly, allowing you to lace your fingers with hers and cup her cheeks, the tension slowly leeching from her muscles. even without words you can say that you love her. she almost envies you for how easily you express your adoration. but she leans in and kisses your forehead, gently, and you beam as if it is the most wonderful thing in the City. it is, for you. the most wonderful, beautiful thing, to have Binah's affection. it's the love of an ex-Arbiter, quiet but strong and everlasting, and you gather her closer with a firm squeeze, lightly peppering her features with delicate kisses
for the first time today, Binah smiles
#project moon#lobotomy corp#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#it makes her feel warm#like everything bad is disappearing#it does not heal overnight#but she feels safe and secure with you#thank you#i hope this makes you kick your legs too
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Ich habe gerade den letzten Zug vom bar crawl in der Großstadt meiner Wahl nach Hause erwischt. War nur leider der Zug, den sich auch die größte, betrunkenste Geburtstagsparty-Gruppe der Republik für ihren Heimweg ausgesucht hatten. Fick mich ins Knie, Vorfreude kommt auf.
Die Herren sind alle relativ jung, tragen bei sechs Grad Außentemperatur nur Tshirts und singen Geburtstagslieder mit einer Lautstärke, die ich sonst nur von der Hauptbühne des Hurricane-Festivals gewohnt bin. Dabei kennen sie meist nur die erste Strophe der Geburtstagslieder. Danach zerläuft sich der Gesang kläglich, zumindest für ein paar Sekunden, bevor das nächste Lied mit neuer Begeisterung angestimmt wird. Repeat for 20 minutes.
Irgendwann wird das Singen scheinbar doch langweilig. Die Jungs pöbeln das Geburtstagskind an, dann sich gegenseitig, dann schubsen sie sich durch den Raum, der eigentlich zum Abstellen von Fahrrädern gedacht ist. Irgendwer wirft eine Flasche nach mir. Sie landet zwischen den Sitzen. Ich bin irgendwie selber zu high und betrunken um zu realisieren was gerade passiert ist. Dann brüllt einer den Flaschenwerfer an: "Ey, spinnst du, da ist Pfand drauf!" Jetzt nehme ich es ihnen übel.
Der Zug entleert sich an der Endhaltestelle auf den Bahnsteig, einer von ihnen murmelt mir zum Abschied eine homophobe Beleidigung zu. Cool. Ich freue mich auf die vier Kilometer Heimweg.
Ich bestelle mir lieber ein Taxi, stehe zwanzig Minuten am Bahnhofseingang herum und rufe dann erneut bei der Taxizentrale an, frage nach, wann besagtes Taxi denn bitte komme. "Kommt noch nicht, is keiner frei". Auf Nachfrage erfahre ich, dass so schnell auch niemand frei werden wird. Ich liebe Kleinstädte. Währenddessen sehe ich erneut meine allerliebste Geburtstagstruppe, die gerade einen Abstecher zum Döner-Fassen gemacht hat und jetzt wieder Richtung Bahnhof wankt. Großartig, cool cool cool cool. Ich verpisse mich in die andere Richtung. Nach Hause laufe ich. Der einzige Vorteil ist, dass ich somit um vier Uhr morgens bereits mein Schrittziel erreicht habe (bitte öffnet an dieser Stelle nen Sekt für mich).
Ich komme nach Hause, schlecht gelaunt, irgendwie desorientiert. Idk, ich würde gerne ne witzigere Anekdote daraus zaubern, aber irgendwie fehlt mir da die Energie für. Keine Pointe, nicht mal 'ne Pfandflasche, ich gehe jetzt schlafen.
#i love rural german nightlife it makes me feel so warm and secure#like a pfandflasche being thrown at you in the regionalbahn for dressing like youre trying to woe the hosts of queer eye.#these reminders to hydrate are getting out of hand ngl#german stuff
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okay so. don’t crucify me. but su she and jin guangyao do actually make some pretty compelling points.
#critical class analysis of mdzs when???? when will i write it when????#but like.#like#fuck okay i love how it ends#because i love a happy ending#but i just keep thinking about how su she and ESP jin guangyao are right that… they kinda… had to do what they did#like su she has a few more blunders and he’s clearly jealous/resentful but… he’s not necessarily wrong about being looked down on in the la#for reasons he can’t really control#and jgy… where to even begin like okay he shouldn’t have done all those horrible things#but they ALL did horrible things#the difference is that jgy did not have anyone backing him if he fucked up if he wanted to live in dignity#he had to make sure his spot was secure#lxc lwj and whoever else was in the guanyin temple can judge him all they want#but except for wwx they’re all clan leaders or uncontested heirs#they have a level of wealth & security that allows them to make judgements on the actions of others#knowing that they can act basically free from lasting consequence#the only person who isn’t immune is wei wuxian but even then… he had the jiang clan in the past#which. it’s complicated. i know it’s complicated.#but he did attain a lot of privilege thru his connection with them and they did protect him as much as they reasonably could have#in the circumstances they were given#for the most part#and then in the future he has lan wangji who will literally kill anyone that comes at him#makes sure he’s warm and fed and kept entertained and away from pesky things like#responsibilities#and difficult conversations#so even tho he once knew a life like jgy’s he’s so far removed from it now#and just#sorry there’s a reason why all of this is in the tags#it’s not super clear in my head yet#but this is the start i promise i will come back to it
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.
#liiiiiike#she’s about to get everything she’s wanted 😭#I’m sorry I’m not even tipsy anymore just happy for her#she’s come such a long way#and has fought so many battles#and her acknowledging that this tour is over in December is a happy thing!#she’s savoring every bit of it!#because she loves it so much!#because she’s about to start a new chapter very soon and she knows it#and is secure in it#and there’s such a calmness around her now that is just… idk so warm to see#I’m sorry this is parasocial as fuck#but it’s like watching your friend who’s searched for so long finally find her missing puzzle pieces#which is not to say Taylor is my/your friend RELAX I DIDN’T SAY THAT#but I’m saying I feel similar empathy/joy for her I would for a friend or acquaintance in a similar situation#it’s just… there are things she’s wanted and planned for that I think are now very real and falling into place#and the next year or two are going to be very very exciting for her
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I was doing some warm up doodles and decided to do a quick doodle of eclipse
The silly<3
#ik its bad#but it's just for a warm up#technically my first time drawing eclipse#i loved the dlc and he's been on my mind ever since#reading fanfic with fanon eclipse and then seeing him in the dlc is like a slap to the face#i love him so#eclipse#fnaf eclipse#fnaf#fnaf fanart#eclipse fanart#eclipse doodle#security breach fanart#art
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for the past 4 days, i've descended into madness over the anon getting turned into an animatronic. behold. 2.6k words @get-rammed i've gone insane
as always, i spew BTS lore in the tags
“Alright, that’s everything,” his Handler announces, finishing the paint on his last claw. They give his hand a satisfied pat. Monty watches as they turn away and begin packing up their things, making idle chatter as they do, offhandedly mentioning that they hope it isn’t too late by the time they actually get to head home. They told him earlier that they’ve got a meeting with the higher-ups once they’re done tonight, and it’s been weighing on him all day.
“I don’t think you should go to that meeting,” he says because he can’t take it any longer.
They pause. “What do you mean?”
“I just… I don’t think you should go.” Monty clenches his fists in his lap. It doesn’t feel right. If it was any other lame meeting announced in a staff email, sure, but this isn’t one of those. They were approached in person. No documents, nothing written; just pulled them aside this morning and told them something about enhancing the Handler experience. All of the other Handlers have gone home already, too, and there’s nothing that they could want just his for that meant anything good.
They huff fondly. “I don’t really have a choice, Monty.”
They keep getting ready, a sinking feeling forming in Monty. He tries again to explain that it’s a bad idea again but is gently shut down. His Handler hugs his head on their way out, an act he’d usually eat up and crave more of, but tonight, he feels like rejecting it. It just feels so wrong.
“Sweets, please, don’t go.” He grabs onto their sleeve. “I got a bad feeling about this.”
Their face softens. “I hear you, Monty, but I have to. I’ll probably get fired if I don’t.” They laugh a little. “I’m sure everything will be fine. Worst-case scenario, they dump a mountain of work on me. Everything’ll be okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, big guy.”
—
They announced a new animatronic the very next day.
The announcement made Monty raise a brow because even with his debut as a Glamrock, as rushed as it was, Fazzbear Entertainment still took their time to milk it for all its worth. Surely, with a brand-new animatronic, they’d pull out all of the theatrics. But, no, management had just called everyone backstage (Monty was grabbed by Chica’s Handler because his still wasn’t here, and it worried him. They always tell him if they’re going to be late) and spilled the news.
It’s another gator, which, geez, thanks, corporate. It’s dressed in actual clothes, unlike the rest of them. It’s a little smaller than Monty, with a sleeker design. Monty eyes the new thing up and down. There’s something… wrong with it. Monty feels it. So does the rest of the band. It stands across from them, eyes too wide, taking in too much yet too little information at the same time. Its hands are clutched together, held tightly to its chest. It’s a shambling mess, really. Barely finished and definitely not ready for crowds. The thing really needs a Handler, which only reminds Monty of the empty space by his side.
It’s different from them. It doesn’t fill its body like it’s supposed to. A feeling of uneasiness washes over the room. Even the other Handlers look a little disturbed.
After the incredibly lackluster introduction, dampened by the uneasiness of everyone in the room, management gives up on pleasantries and snaps at everyone to prepare for opening time. They leave without further explanation, not even telling everyone what the newcomer is supposed to be doing. Everyone takes the chance to leave as fast as possible, abandoning the barely functional animatronic where it stands.
Something in Monty tells him to linger, as disturbed as he is. The sinking feeling he had last night returns tenfold.
It looks too familiar. Cautiously, Monty approaches the thing, eyeing the uniform it wears. He dares not to peek at the nametag displayed proudly on its chest. The animatronic tilts its head up at him slightly, or at least it tries. Monty can hear the inner mechanics going, but it remains frozen. He stands uncomfortably in front of it, unsure of what to do. Everything about it feels wrong. Everything about this feels wrong.
He peeks at the nametag, and his world comes crashing down. Surely not. They couldn’t have shoved a whole person, a full consciousness, inside of an animatronic, could they? That technology doesn’t exist, right? Right?
Monty reaches out a shaking hand, staring into the bot’s blank, red eyes. It can’t be. Fazzbear has done some fucked up, shady stuff, but they wouldn’t do this, would they? This has to be too far. It has to. His hand touches their forearm, feeling the all-too-familiar fabric of the Handler uniforms under his finger pads. He meets their eyes, registering the terror behind their blank stare.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Hey, it’s... I, uh-”
“M-” Their voice fries out, and their jaw moves unnaturally. But it’s enough for Monty. That’s their voice. That’s their voice. Monty feels something vile fester inside of him. If he could get sick, he would. That’s them. That’s them in there. They’re in there. That’s his Handler, who he saw just last night, in there.
Their stare is so blank. Their hands are clutched together so tightly. That’s them.
“Oh, sweets…”
His hands slide down their arms to take their hands, snagging his thumb on the cuff of their uniform as he goes. Something there catches his eyes, though, something a human eye would miss, but something he’s been trained to notice. A tiny speckle of blood stained into the fabric. Their blood.
Monty sucks in a breath, his grip on their hands tightening. They were hurt when this was done to them. They bled.
“Let’s go to my green room,” he says. He keeps his voice gentle, but there’s also no room to argue. He doesn’t think they could, anyway. They don’t respond to him or make any kind of movement, so Monty moves for them. Slowly, painfully, he guides them up to his green room, keeping a gentle set of hands on them the entire way. They stumble and would’ve fallen without Monty to catch them. Their tail drags limply behind them. They probably don’t know how to use it for balance yet. The word yet makes Monty’s heart hurt.
He ensures the door stays open as they shuffle into his room, hovering over them until they’ve been cautiously guided to sit on the couch. They don’t need to struggle to stand anymore. Monty doesn’t think he could handle seeing it.
“Everything’s gonna be okay,” he says. It’s a lie. It’s an awful, horrible lie, but what else is he supposed to say?
They try to speak again, but their voice fries into something that sounds like a quiet cry. Their body begins to tremble, their hands clenching around each other even harder. All tell-tale signs that they’re crying, but they don’t have tears anymore. Instead, their eyes just stare into the wall, unresponsive.
“I’m so sorry, sweets,” he says as they weep. He sits beside them on the couch, cautiously wrapping his body around theirs. He doesn’t know if the different sensations will upset them even further, but he also doesn’t know what else to do.
“H-” A billow of steam rolls out of their jaw, rattling their whole system. The sudden movement startles Monty, making him pull away.
“Hey, sweets, you-” Monty glances into their eyes, wide, sightless, terrified, with a slack jaw pouring steam, “you need to calm down. I know it seems like I’m askin’ the impossible of ya, but you’ll overheat yourself, and I dunno how to fix that.”
Their body shudders, unresponsive to their mind. Monty doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to help. He remembers what they did when he first came online and when he was given his new body. They surrounded him with familiar, comforting things, but his Handler doesn’t live here like he does. At least they didn’t. Their greatest comforts are probably far out of Monty’s reach. He searches around his green room, trying to find anything he knows helps them relax.
He spots a fidget they used to love playing with during his noon charging sessions. It should be simple enough; it just needs a pushing and pulling motion. Nothing complicated. But his Handler’s hands don’t react, even as he pries them apart and presses the fidget into their palm. Their fingers remain tense, not even twitching.
“Okay, something easier. I got it. I’ve got you.”
Monty reaches and grabs one of the oversized plushies lying beside the two of them on the couch. It’s big enough for him to comfortably interact with, so it should be good enough for them, too, right? He places the weighted plush in their lap, tucking its arms in so his Handler doesn’t have to do it themself. It looks like they try to wrap their arms around the plush, but the thing just ends up getting knocked to the floor. The failure to get their arms to work only serves to upset his Handler more as their hands begin trembling, the metal of the digits clinking together.
Monty looks up at them, scared for them. Scared with them. If they can’t function, they’re going to be decommissioned– not fired, not still alive, decommissioned and dead. Gone forever. Their head has turned slightly, staring intensely at something, so Monty follows their line of sight. His gaze lands on their jacket that they accidentally left last night, draped across a chair. Now a little shaky himself, Monty gets up and retrieves it for them.
He realizes once he gets back that it doesn’t fit them anymore. It used to be so big on them, but it doesn’t fit now. Their favorite jacket, the one they wore every day, doesn’t fit anymore. He drapes it over their shoulders, bringing it around them tightly. Their shoulders are bigger under his hands. Wider. Their body is like his own now and so very, very different from what it used to be.
He retakes their hands, kneeling in front of them. He meets their eyes, which stare deep into whatever kind of soul he has.
“Look at me, Chere,” he says, squeezing their hands, trying to ground them. He’d tell them to breathe with him, but they can’t anymore, and he doesn’t know if that’ll help or upset them. “I’ve got you. I promise. I won’t ever, ever let anything else happen to you. I promise.”
Their hands squeeze his own, and Monty lets out his own version of a sigh of relief. The shaking in their limbs begins to die down, the steam eventually coming to an end. He smiles at them, keeping his hold on their hands solid. He praises them softly, rubbing their knuckles.
Their eyes meet his properly, and Monty can see the hurt and the fear in their eyes. They shift, jaw moving experimentally.
“I… can’t breathe,” they say.
Monty’s heart breaks for them. They try to shift, try to grab onto their jacket and pull it tighter around them, but their limbs won’t cooperate, and the metal of their fingers slips against the satin material.
“Here, you gotta… you gotta grip with the pads of your fingers. Like this,” Monty says, taking hold of their hands and guiding their fingers to do so. A shudder runs through their system, getting their hands to tighten and pull, if only slightly.
Monty steps back to take another look at the design of their new body. A gator, like him. Their hair is soft and synthetic, with a little product to keep it sleek, so at least that wasn’t taken from them. In a bitter-sweet kind of way, Monty can imagine helping them style their hair in the morning when the dust settles. But Monty still has trouble adjusting to his mohawk, so he can’t imagine what it’s like for them right now. How long it’ll take for that dust to settle. They’re smaller than him. Sleeker. A little more compact and able to fit into tighter spaces. Probably equipped with the same processing power Monty has, and he prays to whatever is out there, none of the guardrails. Overall, they’re… built to work. They were hurt, maybe even killed, their body broken, disposed of, and shoved into this body to work. To work! They never get to go home again; they never get to have a life outside of the Pizzaplex ever again, all so Fazzbear Entertainment could have another obedient little worker.
Monty shoves down his anger. They don’t need that right now. Instead, he turns his energy to muster up the best smile he can, affirming the correct motions with their hands.
“There you go, you’ve got it.” His smile wavers a little at their silence.
They stare at their hands, their new, robotic, alien hands. Hands that don’t listen when they tell them to move. A body that doesn’t listen. They grip around the fabric of their jacket, feeling, in a way, the mechanics whirr in their arms. But they don’t feel the silky fabric anywhere but their finger pads. They feel the warmth of Monty in front of them, holding onto them, but only in broad strokes. It’s not like skin. It’ll never be like skin. There’s no more blood, only coolant (they feel so cold), no nerves, no organs. No lungs. Those things are still there, in a way, in a robotic sense.
All of the essential bits keeping their body moving are still there. But it’s not their body. Flashes of blood and mutilation streak across their vision the longer they stare. They have claws now. And a snout. And a tail. They always thought it’d be kind of cool to have a tail, who doesn’t, but not like this. They don’t want this. They want to go home and lay in bed and fall asleep and hope that this is some god-awful dream. They want to fight with their ID at the stupid maintenance tunnel exit, and drive home tired, and wake up five hours later to come to work and do it all over again.
“... sweets?”
They look up to Monty, sight still a little unclear. He looks worried. He looks scared. They don’t think they’ve ever seen him scared. He tentatively takes their hands, prying the fabric away before they rip something.
They stay there, Monty kneeling, Handler sitting, staring at each other. Lost, scared, confused. Neither quite sure what to say.
“I wanna go home,” they eventually settle on. They can see the resolve in Monty crack.
“I know, sweets.” He rubs their knuckles again. They’re disturbed by how little they can feel of it. “I’m so sorry they did this to you.”
They want to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that he has nothing to be sorry for, but the words don’t come to them. So, instead, they sit in silence. Awful, dreadful silence.
Eventually, Monty stands, still holding their hands in his. “You’ve gotta be getting… tired,” he murmurs. “Here, I’ll show you how to get charged.”
His Handler know how. They’ve helped Monty settle in to get charged a million times. But it’s different now. They need to charge. Their battery isn’t running low, they don’t think anyway, but the emotional drain is enough for them to take the carefully offered out. Monty gets them set up, gently explaining things as he goes, like what it’s going to feel like at first and how entering standby will kind of feel like sleeping (at least, what he’s pretty sure sleeping feels like). When everything is said and done, and Monty is sure they’ll be out for a while, he turns to eye the big door that separates his room from the rest of the Pizzaplex.
His curtains are closed, and he’s going to make sure it stays that way. For a long time.
#fnaf#fnaf security breach#montgomery gator#monty fanart#self insert#fnaf monty gator#reader insert#security breach monty#my post#the best part abt this blog is you can see my descent into madness. try n see how many overlaps there r to my tags on the og post (its lots#i imagine the animatronics were programmed to know absolutely Nothing about the Controversies hence monty's denial#which i LOVED writing btw i love knowing that something awful is afoot and the character try to deny it heehee#the reason the pronouns used for anons bot form changes b4 monty hears their voice is bc he's already started accepting it and their voice#basically just seals the deal#ik that the steam in bots releases from back vents + nostrils but i like the imagery of it spewing out of their mouth more#maybe they dont know how to use the back vents yet or something lmao#ive spent SO LONG thinking of all the tiny things that need to change now that only specific parts of their body register touch/have good#traction on slippy surfaces. such as satin jackets#anon went from all of the liquid in their body working to keep them warm to all of the liquid in their body working to keep them cool#yeah monty aint doin ANY shows (willingly) until they can function#AUGH ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE WRITTEN BODY HORROR IM RUSTY#this isnt even that heavy on the horror since most of it is montys pov but i had my fun for two whole paragraphs#I WAS GONNA ADD MORE BUT THE WC IS 2269 NICE#yeah i REALLY didnt wanna have to make up and bg characters so we have Management and Corporate thanks guys <3
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