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papil0nglegs · 3 months ago

Note

Can I request tf2 mercs with a reader who is genuinely terrifying. Like there quiet, sneaky, uncanny, basically reader is kinda like the mercs very own cryptid. (Bonus points if reader is tall af<3)

Boo 🤍

A/n: Spy’s is a little short here 😣 I hope you weren’t too eager to see his lol. I got a little experimental with this one, not too much tho. Also I’ll be going on another break, I know I just finished one but I’m going through an unexpected rough time rn. So sorry guys, hope you enjoy <33

Warnings: Video used may be a spoiler for s2 of scream queens, Praying is used in a humorous light

To start things off, you introduced yourself in the worst way possible. The bus that you were supposed to take got broken down so you had to find your way through the base without knowing where the entrance was. So what’d you do? Bang into a bunch of glass windows at 3am while it was RAINING. Some of the mercs were up trying to fix up the power generator and..

I saved that clip for weeks I’m so happy I have a reason to use it now

I know they’re all supposed to be big bad mercs but you scared the living FUCK out of them.

Scout

This man went running. He went all the way from the generator to the fucking bunks in the span of a minute! So what’d he do when he got to his room? He grabbed his cross necklace, got on his knees, and started PRAYING.

“Please god Jesus frickin’ Christ hear my prayers, save me-I’m sorry about all those magazines I keep under my bunk and I’m sorry that I told spy to go fuck himself when he told me I couldn’t pull bitches and I’m sorry I call girls bitches please just don’t let me friggin’ die dude!!”

He just kept chanting the same things until Miss Pauling found him cradling himself on his bed with a blanket wrapped around him.

“Scout what are you doing?”

“THERE IS A GHOST IN THE BASE.”

“Oh, you mean y/n?”

‘Hi 👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️’

Yea he was pretty freaked out by you. To make it worse, you always just stare at him. He can’t remember a single moment where he looked at you and didn’t catch your tiny pupils locked onto him.

At first he’d just gently wave awkwardly while you did the same so freakishly. Eventually he decided to say something because it was scaring him, something he’ll never admit

“Yo you got a problem or somethin’, what’s with all the stares?”

“Nothing, I just like looking at you. Your structure pleases me.”

“..oh, well that’s actually-wait I thought-hold on do you really-pfft-Yeesh, I didn’t expect you out of everyone to haha.. Yknow”

Yeah he was blushing like crazy, such a straightforward compliment.

He’s still scared of you, but he uses you as his hype man every now and then. He’ll fish for compliments and WILL receive them

“Dontcha think I got some nice racks for a guy?”

“..Totally”

He could literally walk up to you and threaten to kill you and your reaction is just “yuh go for it”

If you’re freakishly tall then he calls you tree. Cuz

If you’re on the shorter side then he would just pick you up from the shoulders and kiss you on the forehead. He knows you won’t do shit, you’re literally just 🧍‍♀️

Engineer

He didn’t even notice everyone else went running, he just kept on working on the electrical box. So when he stood up and saw you staring straight into the glass, he jumped a little but was mostly just confused

“What in the..”

“tap tap-Can you let me in?”

You’re lucky he didn’t go running like everyone else, you probably would’ve died from the flu if you spent another second outside in the freezing rain.

He puts a bell on you. He just had one laying around and tied it around the your wrist, it didn’t work because of how stiff your movements were so to ‘help’ you rang it against his ear.

“..”

“…..🔔🔔🔔🔔”

“GOD DAMN IT- oh, y/n”

“Sorry, the bell wasn’t ringing how you wanted it to so I rang it myself”

“Uh-huh, thanks for the warning partner”

From my experience southern people love to make conversation, but you aren’t really familiar with that. So when he tries to flirt it gets pretty awkward

“How’s it goin’ sugar, I reckon your looking quite nice today”

“👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️”

“..you gonna say anythin’ back?”

“Oh, um.. I like your face.”

“Woah, alright then.”

He feels so embarrassed when he stands next to your tall ass, it makes him feel belittled. Especially when you actively have to look down just to make eye contact

But if you’re short then he loves it. Finally for once he doesn’t have to be reminded of his height when standing next to anyone.

Spy

He’s gone as soon as you show up. Like straight up disappears. He doesn’t like to show fear-makes him look weak

He’s convinced you could still see him though, cuz you happen to look in his direction even while he was invisible.

You don’t scare him as much as the others, if anything he took a bit of a liking to you because you stressed him out the least compared to the others. He always stood next to you + you were always his first pick for missions

You always make small talk with him. He doesn’t enjoy it but he still responds

“What is under your mask?”

“That is none of your business.”

“Why? Do you look like me?”

Spy doesn’t know if he should feel offended or annoyed

You don’t necessarily startle him like everyone else but you do make his heart jump slightly when you pop out of nowhere, you can see it in his pupils but never his body.

Pyro

HE RAN TOO BUT DIDN’T KNOW WHY LMFAO

He just saw everyone running and went ‘oh okay we’re doing this now 🏃‍♂️’

But seriously, he fell in love with you at first sight. Your features felt so intricate to him, you always gave each other blank stares, zoning into each other’s eyes.

‘⚫️ ⚫️’

“👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️ hi”

“⚫️ ⚫️ mmf”

You’re the only person who can fully understand him. No, not using his body language, you can actually tell what he’s saying. He aw’s at that, finally someone knows what he’s saying.

It makes him more self aware than how he was before, he’ll say some really petty shit and when you react he panics

“Mmph mmm”

“um pyro I need you to calm yourself”

“Mm!”

Somehow you disturb HIM, you’ll point something out to him and talk to him like he’s crazy which makes him crazy

“Pyro, you reek of fire, it’s 30° outside, and it’s a cease day. Do you have any thoughts?”

“Mmmf mmm mph ☹️”

*plz leave me alone

Since you and him are so observant, the rest of the mercs are a little spooked by you guys. You’ll be in the corner with him watching and everyone is fairly weirded out.

“Mm mmmfmm mm”

“Pyro you’re hilarious.”

“What did thing say?”

“He said that if you were a littlest pet shop figure you’d be #508”

“..heavy is not sure what he expected”

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #team fortress 2 #engineer x reader #scout x reader #spy x reader #x reader

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visenyaism · 5 months ago

Note

I haven't read the main series yet and I'd love to know the lore behind Harrenhal, love see you and others post about it but I sadly don't get all of it 😭

sit down followers it’s story time. Once upon a time there was this guy named King Harren Hoare. and he was king of the iron Islands where he was from, but he decided he wanted to be king of more than that also. so he invaded the Riverlands and conquered it all which was pretty easy because they were fighting each other like they always are instead of him. but being king of two places wasn’t enough he also needed to have the biggest baddest castle in all of the land. So he rounded up a bunch of smallfolk in the nicest most central important location in the riverlands and got them to building it. In his hubris he got too into it and mixed actual human blood into the mortars of the castle. unlike other feudal castles, this one is both literally and figuratively made from peasant blood.

but he got his castle and it is in fact the biggest in the entire seven kingdoms. It’s notable for its five huge (now wrecked) stone towers. A million men could march on that thing and slide right off. but he forgot to account for the WMD metaphor that being Aegon Targaryen and his sisters flying in on their big big dragons, wanting to conquer everything that he had previously conquered. he refused to surrender because he thought his blood castle would keep him safe and they burned him and all his sons alive in it.

Ever since then, Harrenhal is this half-burned wreck of a castle but no family has been able to hold onto without all dying for more than two generations. my fav occupant was danelle lothston, a girlknight cannibal blood witch who later got executed for bathing in too much peasant blood. in the main series, the whole thing about Harrenhal is that it was the site of this tourney that happened when the main cast were teenagers where jaime lannister got knighted, ned got a crush on a dayne maybe, and lyanna got crowned queen of love and beauty by a very married rhaegar targaryen, all of which set up their generation-defining war. Harrenhal is also this cursed deeply hunted liminal space where time seems to be a lot looser. everyone thinks it’s cursed. there are many theories as to why, including:

1) harrenhal is cursed because of harren’s hubris, which is like the hubris of the lords (usually un-landed) who get handed the castle because they think they can turn it around.

2) the harrenhal curse is an allegory for feudalism, a castle made from peasant blood that eats the grasping lords who get handed it whole.

3) the harrenhal “curse” it’s just that it’s too big to defend and it’s centrally located in the Riverlands, which is important in every single war so it just sort of gets chewed up all the time and there’s no actual magic involved.

4) the Harrenhal curse is just the fact that Aegon’s descendants (Maegor, Rhaena, Daemon, etc) do have a tendency to keep coming back to kill everyone there.

5) the Harrenhal curse is a freaky blood thing that has something to do with its blood walls and a lot to do with its weirwood and the nearby isle of faces, an old god island no mortal, has ever successfully gone to, but several people have died trying. the castle is hungry for blood.

Ultimately it is a super important place and also this haunted torment labyrinth sometimes the author will just stick characters like daemon or jaime into if they need to be stuck in introspective agony for a while. The current lord is littlefinger so everyone manifest it comes for him soon.

#asoiaf #hotd #it’s time out #i believe in all these theories at once.#also if I left anything out let me know

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deadlymistletoe · 1 year ago

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Fears and Bandages

Pairing: Thranduil x F!reader

Request: @frustrated-kitten asked: I thought maybe I could request a Thranduil x FemReader where she returns with several injuries after fighting a bunch of spiders with Legolas and some other elves? Some small wounds, some more serious, but in the end she survives and everything goes well?

A/N: I hope it’s what you wanted - I was going to make it more angsty but this is what came out and it stuck.

Genre: slight hurt/comfort

Description: Thranduil’s composure cracks as he waits for you to come home from battling the spiders. He’s only able to put his fears to rest once he’s bandaged you up himself.

Warnings: Mentions of blood/injuries. Stitches.

Word count: 1582

Thranduil’s foot tapped against the ground, fingers drumming impatiently against the armrest of his throne. Besides the two guards posted at the entrance to the room, the rest of his subjects were steering clear of him.

He didn’t blame them for avoiding him while he was like this - after all, had it been someone else fidgeting he would have been annoyed himself.

It was rare for the composed elvenking to fidget as he was, to betray any hint of apprehension, but today was the exception.

It was well known that there were two people on this earth that Thranduil would do absolutely anything to keep safe, and it just so happened that both of them had gone headfirst into a dangerous situation.

The first, his only son, Legolas. Since the elf had first looked up at him from his mother’s with those wide blue eyes Thranduil had known that he would do anything for him.

After his wife had died that feeling had only strengthened, as the meaning in his life centered around the elfling who was quickly becoming one of the realm's best archers.

For a long time, nothing had changed, until he met the second person he would come to care about more than he would have thought possible. You.

Thranduil had never even considered that he might love again after his wife passed, but then you’d come into his life and he’d found himself falling faster than should have. And he just knew that he couldn’t lose you too. History couldn’t repeat itself. He wouldn’t let it.

Of course, that was easier said than done since you, much like Legolas, continuously risked your safety to fight the spiders that continued to invade the Greenwood.

Thankfully for him, you’d stepped back from the danger once the two of you fell in love and you took to the role of Thranduil’s consort - soon-to-be-queen, but the latest nest was bigger than usual and the spiders began to get more bold so you’d insisted on joining Legolas for the raid.

So now Thranduil sat, fidgeting like an impatient elfling, waiting for news.

He felt something he hadn’t felt in a very long time - helpless.

Yes, Legolas had promised to make sure you both came back in one piece, but Legolas was also known for saying he was ‘fine’ when he had a gaping wound - Valar forbid he find out what his son’s definition of ‘one piece’ was.

Thranduil let out a frustrated sigh. He knew better than to doubt the abilities of you and his son, but sometimes he just couldn’t help but worry. After all, the last time his son had left the palace with a mother-figure, only one of them had come back - granted, that was when Legolas was a child with none of the skills he had now. But still.

He immediately straightened up, movements freezing when Galion ran up the steps leading into the room. “They’re back, my lord.”

Thranduil wasted no time making his way down the steps, Galion rushing to keep up with him as they made their way to the front gates. “Is everyone okay?” Are they okay?

“Everyone’s alive.” Those words were less reassuring than they should be. The mirkwood elves had a habit of using the term ‘alive’ rather loosely.

When he reached the entrance, those gathered around instantly parted for him to make his way towards the glimpse of pale hair he’d noticed through the crowd.

None of the patrol had been completely spared, that was certain, as scratches adorned each of their complexions, the darker blood of the spiders splattered over their uniforms.

Healers had already dispersed amongst the warriors, vials of antidote in hand just in case, and he was relieved to see that Legolas had no obvious signs of injury as he drew closer.

Legolas saw him coming and turned to meet him, voice low as he spoke. “There were more than we expected. We weren’t prepared, a second lot ambushed us after the fight had already started.”

Thranduil placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze - a show of affection that still kept a semblance of formality. “You did well.”

He hesitated, not wanting to brush his son off but at the same time needing to see you. Legolas saved him from asking, nodding towards where a healer was bent over a figure on a bench. You, he realized.

“She’s okay.” Legolas murmured. “Just a bit more cut up than the rest of us.” He rolled his eyes playfully. “I’ve been on guard to make sure she didn’t injure herself more running off to find you before the healers got to her.”

Thranduil’s lips twitched, holding back a smile as he made his way towards you, Legolas following behind.

It didn’t take long for you to look up at the familiar footsteps, a smile spreading across your lips despite the sting as the healer cleaned up a deep wound across your shoulder.

When the healer took her hands from you to rummage through her supplies you immediately took the chance to push yourself to your feet, moving around her and meeting Thranduil half way, his arms naturally finding their way around your waist as you stumbled slightly.

He smirked slightly looking over your shoulder. “I do believe Lothael is about to scold you for using her distraction to your advantage.”

Your healer, Lothael, had followed you, rolling her eyes. She gave Thranduil a wry look. “Yes, well, I can’t imagine that the king wants his queen-to-be to bleed out on the floor.”

Thranduil’s eyes quickly ran over your wounds, double-checking that you weren’t in imminent danger of bleeding out, and lingering on the deeper ones before looking back at Lothael. “I can take it from here, thank you.”

He knew that technically the healer had more better skills than him in the art, but at the same time, he also knew that the only way to completely reassure himself that you weren’t about to bleed out was if he did it himself - he needed to know that he’d checked and taken care of your wounds with his own hands.

It was only when the two of you had left the view of the other elves, leaving Legolas in charge, that you let yourself lean against the wall with a groan, the pain that had been throbbing in your leg since the adrenaline had worn off on the walk home forcing you to give it a break.

Thranduil, whose hand had been resting on your back, ready to steady you at any moment should you need it, gave you a worried look as you pulled away from him to use the wall as support.

“I’ll be fine,” You muttered, grimacing. “It’s just demanding a rest.”

Thranduil gave you a calculated look, and before you could say anything or even begin to wonder what he was thinking, he swept you off your feet, your arms automatically going around his neck as he carried you bridal-style down the hall.

You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, a smile crossing his own face at the sound. “What are you doing?”

He glanced down at you, a small smile dancing across his lips. “Why, I’m carrying to your chamber’s, my lady. Valar knows you’d collapse halfway there if I didn’t.”

You laughed before quieting down and leaning your head against his chest. “I’m tired, Thranduil.” You murmured, the toll today had taken on your body catching up to you.

He looked at you with a soft look reserved only for you. “I know, Meleth. You can rest soon.”

You sighed, staying silent as he reached your shared chambers and laid you on the bed, letting you sink into the silks and furs that covered the mattress.

You had started to drift off when you suddenly felt something cold seep into one of the deeper wounds, pressure keeping it there. You jerked away from the cold sting, but a hand held you in place, and you felt Thranduil’s silky hair brush against your skin as he lent over you to brush his lips against your forehead.

“I’m just cleaning them.” He murmured. “Relax.”

You let out a shuddering breath as he moved the cloth, a few tears slipping down the side of your face as he continued on to stitch the wound closed.

Your strong facade you’d kept up in the entrance and on the journey home hope had dissipated, as had your energy now that you were with the one you didn’t have to act strong for.

Thranduil whispered apologies and reassurances as he cleaned and bandaged the rest of your wounds with a gentleness that could only come from a lover’s hands, occasionally wiping the tears from your face and running his fingers through your hair at a particularly harsh sting.

It felt like hours later when the last wound was taken care of and you heard the quiet clink as Thranduil set the glass bottle of ointment aside.

He remained seated at your size, gentle fingers brushing over your face and hair as he gazed down at you, his own fears put aside now that he’d tended to you.

You held his gaze, relishing the cool touches until you felt your eyes begin to droop, and the last thing you were aware of was the feather-light lips that brushed against yours and the whispered, “Sleep, Meleth.” as you drifted off, Thranduil’s fingers soothingly carding through your hair.

Everything Taglist:

@fizzyxcustard @bookworm-with-coffee

If you wish to join my taglist to be notified when I post new fics, click here. For my Tolkien Masterlist, click here. For my Main Masterlist, click here.

#imagines #the hobbit #female reader #thranduil #thranduil x reader #thranduil imagine #thranduil x you #my writing

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misguidedasgardian · 1 year ago

Text

Hour of the Wolf (7)

VII. Pestilence

MASTERLIST

Summary: Unbeatable, dangerous enemies make their way through the Red Keep

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Targaryen!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, war, death, mentions of killings, genocide and war, threats, arranged marriage, SPOILERS for ASOIAF, and Fire & Blood, also, might spoil House of the Dragon, SPOILERS IN WARNINGS, sickness, epidemic, people dying, angst

+18, MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 5 k

Notes: Alright, so there had been a few times skips through the chapters, since they got married it’s been like 2 months, and in here trough outs like another two. Sorry for any mistakes I wrote this in notes and barely choked it

“Anything else?”, you asked your council, “maybe something that you had been keeping from me?”, you were still punishing them with your tough words, even though it's been two weeks since the Iron Fleet situation

Tyland decided to chuckle, as to relieve the tension

“No your grace”

“There is something that had been brought to my attention, your grace”, muttered the Grand Maester, “concerning reports from the White Harbour”, Cregan raised his eyes, “just got the raven this morning… A strange disease has been spreading… people are getting shivers, fever, and then… perishing”

“How bad is it?”, you asked, then you looked at your husband

“The disease appeared first on the three sisters”, he said, “many are dead, half the population…”

“How come we haven’t heard of this before?”, you asked

“I do not know your grace, it appears the Vale wanted to keep it guarded, as they blame it on people from Ibbe, slaughtering the bunch, they did not want to raise alarms”

“For the gods”, you cursed, truly concerned, “I want you to keep communications open with theirs maesters, send them everything we might have on how to deal with this diseases, on the library, I will bet there is information”, you commanded, “also keep the line open with The Citadel, they must have even much information”

“Yes your grace”, said the maester, knowing that you did not said that lightly

“We will help as we can, but we cannot send help physically”, you observed

“Agreed, we need to discourage the spreading of the disease”, muttered Lord Celtigar, “In my travels, I witnesses many diseases, I shall help the maester on the gathering of information”

“That will be much appreciated”, you said, nodding your head at your maester of laws

“We must be careful of the ships and envoys that come from the Vale and from White Harbour, but at the same time, we must aid one of the most important trading points in the North”, determined Cregan

“I agree, with winter fast approaching, we cannot impair the North of their most important harbor”, you said, looking at the naked table in front of you, “how I wish we had the painted table in front of us”, you whispered

“I’ll arrange a well drawn map to be able to us here in the small council chamber”, muttered the Maester

“Thank you”, you said, relieved

“Lord Celtigar, I wish to know about Harrenhal”, you said, looking at your master of Laws

“I’m not gonna lie, events happened in that cursed place from which I have no explanation”, he muttered, “a man died in front of me, because the so-called Queen Witch of Harrenhal command it”, you frowned, thinking he was joking, but he was dead serious

“Some say it was a well time bolt that made that man’s head explode your grace, but, I did not see any arrows”

“What of her?”, you asked

“She presented me with a boy, with blonde hair, she claimed it is Aemond Targaryen’s son, and the rightful heir to the Iron Throne”

You chuckled darkly, the audacity of your uncle, of openly calling your brothers and you bastards, developing a hate that led him to kill your baby brother, only to bed none other than a Strong bastard, and siring a bastard himself, if he had lived, you would have killed him again.

Specially after what he did to you

“We surrounded the castle, took it by storm, killing all the traitors, but, when we storm what would be the royal apartments… she was gone, her and the child, we do not know were she is, or how she could have escaped”, he said, looking at your face for any indications of what you were thinking

“Be honest, should I be concerned?”, you asked then

“I do not think so, your grace, nobody would believe her, and even if they did… I don’t think so, you are well settled in your throne, and… even so… other than the Hightowers, nobody has real reason to raise against you”, you barely nodded, “nobody has the strength, the kingdoms are still healing, and will be so for at least the next five years”

“Raise alarms, in case she is spotted”, you said only, you wanted to eliminate all traces of your uncles, treachery, and war, “what else?”

“The Blackwoods request audience”, muttered Cregan, “Lord Blackwood’s eldest daughter Alyssane is seeking for a husband, let it be reminded the Blackwoods were great supporters of your mother during the war, thanks to them we defeated the Baratheon Army, eliminating Lord Borros, and… The Riverlands turned black because of them”

“And they are welcomed in my court, I shall receive them with open arms, and a banquet in their honor”, you commanded

“I’ll make the arrangements”, muttered Lord Redwyne

“The Iron Fleet, or what remains, the flagship has been spotted sailing here, to King’s landing”

“Have they made their intentions clear?”, you asked

“They wave white flags, request an audience”, you only scoffed, “they claim that, they want to gaze upon the Dragon Queen”

“Of course”, you muttered, “let’s welcome them then, we are home, they are but a few, we shouldn’t be concerned”

Nobody opposed the idea, so they barely nodded

“Of course prepare escorts, I would not let them be for a second while they are here, eyes on them at all times”

Gazing upon the face of the Red Kraken himself gave you a sensation of… disappointment

You were disappointed of him, from the tales, stories of men that had faced him in open sea and also in lands, were the tales of a man that didn’t belong to the land of the living, rather, he had come from the darkest parts of the ocean ready to reclaim land back to the depths

A ruthless men, bloodthirsty, with no remorse or fear of death

“Your grace”, he greeted, bowing theatrically

“Lord Dalton”, you greeted seriously

“The songs do not do justice to your beauty”

“Is that so?”, you did not like his tone, not the mock in his voice and features of his face

“You are more than they say”, he continued

“And what else do they say about me, Lord?”, you asked mockingly, Cregan, by your side, glanced at you, clearly asking you to not engage

“They say men rule in your stead”, he said, you only smiled

“As I have proven, that is not entering true”, you smirked, he chuckled darkly

“That is true”

“So you raided one of my seven kingdoms… to prove me, test me”, you said, now more serious

“I wanted to see who sat the Iron Throne”, he said, “a dragon, or wolves and lions”

You grew bored of this character quickly looking for help in your small council and other lords gathered there

“now it’s clear to me, so I’ve come to offer… other services”, your eyes went back to him

“Services?”, you asked, you did not like the smirk of his face, “such as?”

“Well I’d offer my hand in marriage but… I see I’m too late for that…”, Cregan took a step forwards, anger taking a hold on him, “but I don’t mind being the second”

“You are overstepping”, your husband grunted.

He was not going to allow some guy just coming here and shamelessly think he could just… have you

“All Kings and Queens have lovers”, he said dismissively, “you don’t have to be the exception”

“right…”, you mumbled looking for the eyes of your Queensguard, to ask him to remove him, “I thought you seek audience to reintegrate yourself and your people to the rest of the realms, for the common fool, but you had just come here to make a mockery out of diplomacy”

“your grace you misunderstood, it is costumers for us ironborns to have salt wives… and rock wives”, he said, entertained, by you, you were getting angry, “together, we could have children not only with fire in their veins, but in their head as well”, people laughed, but Cregan was not amused, “worthy of the throne”

“That is enough”, you demanded, “I only need but one husband”, you said, and the court chuckled, “if you are here to mend bonds with the realm you might stay, Lord Dalton, otherwise and although I thank yo Igor your offering, I kindly reject it”, people laughed again and that did not pleased the Kraken, soon, he left and if he had his armada on its entirety, you would be weary, but he didn’t, so you weren’t.

The mood swiftly changed when another introduction was made

“The Lady Alyssane of house Blackwood” presented a guard, you’d think she would have come with the rest of her family, but she presented herself alone in front of you

She was one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen, also, her reputation precedes her. She fought in the war, she led armies, she killed hundreds with bow and arrow.

She was someone to admire

She was the head of her house until her little brother came of age

“Your grace, it’s an honor, thank you for receiving me”, of course she ceased the first word

“Lady Alyssane you are most welcome, I hope you find what you are looking for, you are welcome to stay at court as much as you need to”, she only smiled, bowing perfectly, she also looked at your husband and hand, but… you didn’t like I one bit.

Having the Ironborns at court was one thing, having the Blackwoods was another, it changed the dynamic in the entire court

The former were constantly and daily have dinner with you, and lady Alyssane would sit beside Cregan, and they would chat all night…

You didn’t like it, not at all

But it would be childish of you to chide Cregan for something he didn’t have power over, right?

“But I find that hunting with a spear… is it too slow” the woman giggled, and you could see the conversation had sparked something in Cregan, he was entertained, he was speaking of something he enjoys, a rare thing to find with him

Is not like you did not trusted Cregan, but it was still painful to watch, so you retired early, as many of the other women at court, and left Cregan, the men, and the lady Alyssane, drinking and laughing like old mates.

You were not worried or concerned, only tired by the events of the day.

Cregan though, as soon as you left, was left himself with a sense of emptiness, he found the situation uncomfortable, and soon, followed you

Cregan was on his way to your now shared chambers when he encountered little Jahaera walking in the same direction, a small red blanket in her arm, rubbing her tired face with the other

“Little one, where are you going?”, as soon as she saw him she whined, hugging onto the hand of the nanny that was taking her

“I’m very sorry my lord, she woke up, and wanted to see the Queen”

“Leave us, I’ll take her”, he said, and she, with reluctance, let go of her tiny hand and walked away

He kneeled on the floor just in front of her, with a soft expression on his face

“Why can’t you sleep, little dragonling?”

“I don’t want anyone else to go away”, she whined, her teary eyes make him sad, “If I sleep, she’ll go away”, she explained

“What do you mean?”, he asked softly

“At night… my brother went away… then I went to sleep, and my mommy went away, and then my papa, he went away, when he went to sleep…”, she whined, bitter tears falling from her beautiful eyes

Cregan’s heart broke

“I don’t want my aunty mommy to go away too”, she said

“She won’t, I promise you”, he said

“How do you know?”, she asked, rubbing her eyes

“Because I will protect her with my life, us Starks, we always keep our word, did you know?”, he asked softly

“You will take care of my new mama?”

“I promise you little one”, he said, “and you know, I’m married to your mama, so..”, she only smiled, and hugged him. He hugged her back, stading up and carrying her to the chambers. “one more night you can sleep with your new mommy alright?”, he asked

Jahaera barely nodded again his neck.

She was already sleeping by the time he entered the chambers to find you looking at him with the softest eyes, and the most beautiful smile he had seen.

That little girl and your brother where your family, and he had married you so, they became his family, he needed to step up, and help you with those children

He was determined, he thought the very next day, as he finished his short prayers in the Godswood, he wanted to go back to the Keep, to speak to Ser Arryk about prince Aegon’s training, or the start of.

That boy was too very sad… he needed to look forwards, you needed to fill his mind with something more… history, philosophy, training, to keep him mind fed and occupied with something else.

He walked trough the beautiful garden, thinking about inviting you to eat something outside, that would make you happy

“I must say I’m dissapointed”, Cregan raised his gaze to meet the beautiful Alyssane Blackwood

“The Capital is not to your liking?”, he asked

“Well, no if the betrothal I was hoping to get is… already married”, now that surprised him, looking at her

“My Lady”

“You are a price I was hoping to catch”, she continued, smirking

“Well, you are too late”, he said, trying to make it lighter, with a smile on his face, but she was not releasing her predatory stance

“A pity”, she muttered, looking mindesly at the flowers of the garden, “we could have been great you know”

“Probably”, he muttered

“Are you really happy here in the capital?”, she asked, “wouldn’t you have prefered a wife? A lady of Winterfell?”

“I would prefer no one but the one I gave my word to”, he said, now all serious, he was not going to be polite anymore, “and you are out of line, my lady”

“Just playing with what could have been”, she said, not altered at all by his serious words

“I thought the idea was to look for a match”, they both turned to see you approaching them, “not get into one”, you said bitterly

“Your grace”, she said, now alarmed, as she saw you approaching

“I think you overstayed your welcome, Lady Blackwood, since you found no prospects on this week, you best try somewhere else”, you said simply, standing by Cregan’s side.

She barely nodded, and bowed lightly

“Thank you for your hospitality your grace, but you are right I must take my leave, and hunt in other woods”, she muttered and then she left quite quickly.

You watched her lean and tall figure leave, she was beautiful, her eyes as green as forests, and her hair long, black and lustrous

“It is a pity, if she had been here sooner… maybe she would have managed to hunt you”, you whispered, and then walked on the other direction.

Cregan called your name, but you didn’t turn back, you just kept walking

Cregan haden’t entertained her, but her words still lingered in your ears. You had make him marry you, perhaps he would have preferred a real wife, a lady, a partner for him to take North and be a mother to his child and give him more, that supports him in leading his people, not all the way around

But it was too late now.

What was done was done, is not like you threatened with your dragon for him to marry you, but still, the inavility of managing a match for yourself is what chained him to a life he didn’t even want.

You had commissioned a pathway from the gardens to exit the castle by a stone hallway, that led to the cliffs sorrounding King’s Landing, were your dragon rested, you wanted to see her, maybe even take a little flight.

This stone hallway was tall, windy, and open, much like the one leading to the castle in Dragonstone, Cregan followed you closely

“I didn’t entertain her…”, he explained

“I’m aware”, you answered, but not stopping your movements

“Please”

“Cregan”, you stopped turning to look back at him, “I’m aware you didn’t entertain her, but she is right, I can’t help but think in the “what if”, you explained, “what if I didn’t make you marry me? you could have been back in Winterfell, with your child and your people”

“Yes maybe”, he growled, “but I married you”

“Because of a pact you made when my borthers were still alive”, you said simply, turning to keep walking, but he grabbed you

“Not only because of that”, he growled, looking into your eyes, “I wanted to marry you”, he said

“Why?”

“Why!?”

“Why? because of power?”, you asked

“Not only that”, he said, looking intently into your eyes

“Because I’m broken?”, you asked then, “because I’m a danger to the country?”

“No…”, he said, you both into eachtoher’s eyes, he moved slowly, like you were some wild animal, and he palced his hand on the side of your face. “Because to me you are the most beautiful woman in the seven Kingdoms, because I desired you, you are what I have been promised”, you didn’t know what to say, “I will have half a life with you, and half a life away, but… at least I have something of you”, he said

You kept quiet, the world seemed to stop for a second, and all around you, only the two of you existed.

“I have never been much of a poet”, he said, chuckling darkly, “and I only must say, nobody would have make me marry you if I didn’t want you”, he said this time more darkly, you leaned in kissing him, he kissed you back, trapping your lips on his greedily

“I wanted you too”, you said, “because you and I… were ment to be together”, you said certainly

“Fire and Ice”, he said, “nobody make us marry, we chose it, because we knew, together we could have everything”, he said with a husky voice, “power, love, a family”

“Together”, you confirmed, sealing your words with another longing kiss, “We need to settle in our roles as husband and wife”, you whispered with an entertained voice

“I’ll settle you in our bed as of right now”, he growled, “But I will settle for having you here…”

“No!”, you giggled as he grabbed you pulling you towards the grass on the other side of the passage.

He layed you down in the open, where anybody could see

“The nerve of that woman”, he growled over you, “of ever thinking I could have chosen her, instead of you”

“the audacity”, you chuckled

“Perhaps we should have her watch as I ravage you”, he said opening the top of your riding gear, his mouth on the skin of your neck and collarbones

“Cregan Stark!”, you shrieked, “I didn’t know this side of you”, you moaned, as you spread your legs to fit his form between them.

“We have the power, and our love… let’s make our family”, he whispered against your neck, “dark haired children worthy of the throne…” he mocked the words of Dalton

Cregan and you shared looks over the table, little smirks, you two were like two giggly lovers from the stories

“Concerns about the desease are increasing, despise out best efforts, it’s coming trough the port…”, muttered the Grand Maester, bringing the attention back to the situation at hand, “there is no control…”, he was interrupted when Tyland coughed, trying to hide it in a hankerchief, now you noticed that… he looked sickly

“Are you well, Tyland?”, you asked with concern, as the man looked possibly ghostly, pale, heavy sweat on his forehead

“Forgive me your grace”, he coughed, “I do not feel well”

Cregan stood from the table like a spring, and grabbed you, pushing you gently backwards towards the window

“Get away, hold your breath”, he commanded, all the men stood from the table, taking steps back from Tyland

“I’m well”, he tried to argue, but Arryk grabbed your other side, using his cape to cover your face, making you blind, but both men led you out of the room.

“Is this necessary?”, you asked, concerned

“Very”, growled Cregan, “the Winter fever has reached the Red Keep, take the necessary measures, nobody meets anyone, people should stay in their apartments”

“Yes M’Lord”, muttered Arryk

They finally released you in your rooms

“Wait!”, you called as they left you alone and were about to close the door, “what about Aegon and Jahaera?”

“We need to keep you separated”, he said firmly, “in case…”, your eyes filled with tears

“Yes I understand”, you murmured

“We will keep them together”, he assured you, “nobody will see them…”

“Wait!”, you called as he was about to close the door, “stay here with me”

“Someone needs to organize this”, he said seriously

“Not you!”, you called

“I have to”, he said seriously, and he closed the doors, trapping you inside

You were loosing your mind….

You had books, they brought you food and Cregan would come at the door and give you updates twice a day…

You had done all you could, you had commanded medicine to be send, as well as the knowledge to help the cities fight this, but they wouldn’t let you out, you hadn’t seen anyone in weeks. At least half the Kingdoms had fallen into madness and sickness

“Tyland… didn’t make it” Cregan whispered against the door, “10 servants didn’t either”, you shed bitter tears at the other side of the door

“Gods… Tyland”, you whined

“Alicent has fallen to the sickness as well”, he murmured, but you heard him alright

“What about Aegon and Jahaera?”

“They ask about you constantly, yet… they are in good spirits, with their Nannies who had also scaped this”

“Good”, you whispered, “please send word to Casterly Rock”

“Already did, those lucky bastards weren’t hit by the desease, neither has the Reach nor Dorne, it seemed it is stuck in the Crownlands, the Vale and the North"

"at least some of us are spared"

"its been a moon since Tyland was sick, we will get trough this", he said, "the worst is…", he got quiet, and you whined when you heard a cough

"Cregan?", you asked

"I'm fine, some dust sneaked his way to my throat", he said lightly

“Are you sure?”, you asked, grabbing the knob of the door

“Yes” he said, “A message has arrived from the Citadel from the maesters, I should tend to it” he said

“Please come back”, you begged

“Always”, he said, and left you

The next day… he didn’t came back

“His grace has taken abed your grace”, said Ser Arryk, “the maester is tending to him”. You opened the door, to his surprise

“Your grace”

“If the maester falls sick we are all dead, I’ll tend to him”

“No!” He said trying to grab you, but only one look and he desisted

You ran down the hallways and entered his rooms…

Cregan laid in his bed, pale, you could see the sweat on his forehead, and the shivers running up and down his arms and his whole body. You were by his side in a minute, grabbing his hand

“Cregan”, you called, but to no answer, his eyelids fluttered, he seemed like he was going to open his eyes, but he didn’t, instead he just mumbled something, sounded more like a grunt.

The Grand Maester didn’t lie to you…

Most… almost all of those who catched the fever perished…

You needed to prepare for the worst… and yet, your eyes filled with tears and a desperation consumed you, as you started crying silently

“Please don’t leave me”, you cried, “please”, you begged, grabbing onto his hand tightly, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you”, you admitted, he squeezed your hand a little

“Rickon”, he whispered, in his feverish dreams, “my son”, you frowned, concerned, at the worry on his features even in his sleep

He was calling for his son, the son you had kept him from, the only son he had.

You placed your hand on your lower belly, then you placed his hand there

“You need to get better”, you begged, “your son needs you, the North needs you… our baby needs you… I need you”, you prayed, his naked chest was pearled with sweat he was burning up. You stood up removed your clothes and laid by his side grabbing into him, making sure your body stuck to his as much as you could, so you’ll lower his body temperature with yours, after giving him the medicine indicated by the doctor.

It all depends on him, and the gods.

Taglist.

@lyannesworld @tremendouswolfsaladranch @unlesshouse @mimsie95 @ostricx @amelia262006 @marihoneywk @ahristata @happinessinthebeing @dd122004dd

@lyannesworld @aestmilky @lightdragonrayne @delaynew @mxtokko @stargaryenx @lightdragonrayne @delaynew @mxtokko @good-night-starlight @yentroucnagol @beebeechaos @brakingboundaries @duds31

#misguidedhour #cregan stark x you #cregan stark x reader #cregan stark x oc #cregan #cregan x y/n #cregan x you #cregan fanfiction #house of the dragon #hbo house of the dragon #targaryen!oc #targaryen!reader

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seat-safety-switch · 7 months ago

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Children love nothing more than a castle. Adults, too, but we have to be more conservative in our approval of it. We have to impress the other adults about how practical we are. Maybe slap the bricks a little and go "this must cost a fortune to heat!" I'm here to tell you that you can enjoy a castle for what it is: a bunch of cool bricks that were once the site of brutal and cruel mass deaths.

Sure, there's lots of castles that were never sieged or even singed. These are fake ones, usually somewhere in North America, where the castle proved to not be a sufficient defence against roving gangs of feral cowboys.

Here, the situation is often that a rich person looked in a magazine, saw a cool picture of a European fortification, and then asked a bunch of masons to "build me one like that." Respectable, of a sort, but not a real castle. Doesn't matter: you can still enjoy them. The rich person sure did, unless they mixed it up with several dozen of their other castles and just never bothered getting around to enjoying the fruits of their workers' labour.

There are a couple problems to practical enjoyment of North American castles. For starters, many of them are still privately owned. The residents no doubt strut around their homes, pretending to be princes and earls and duchesses. Is it a weird sex thing? Nobody knows for sure, but NASA research is strongly pointing towards "yes." Those ones are probably off the table for most people reading this. That said, if you do purchase your own castle, let me know so I can come by and take a picture of my Dodge Viscount in front of it. Get it? Viscount?

Even with those ones removed from general circulation, you can probably enjoy one of many public castles. These are often placed in public parks that were spontaneously created when a rich person died and dropped their loot, like in the popular computer game Murder Rich People And Take Their Shit. For only a few bucks (for preservation purposes: remember, it costs a fortune to heat these things, not to mention the rising cost of castle wax) you too can enjoy the fortress lifestyle. And if you bring your own king and queen outfits and turn it into a weird sex thing? I won't call the cops if you don't tattle on my use of the horse stables as temporary overflow parking.

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tanoraqui · 7 days ago

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now that this fic is all published, I can ramble about the things that happen afterward in the timeline! Feel SO free to ask about anything you want more details of.

First off, all three posts about Dave the Balrog are 100% canon to this au, except for where they sometimes contradict the fic's worldbuilding or plot bc I hadn't settled on every detail yet. Also, Dave’s name is probably more like “Drav”, from the Sindarin “drava-”, “to hew.”

That happens much later, though - about 1980 TA. FIRST, immediately, as Celebrimbor says: it's time to save the orcs!

That is, wildly self-indulgent crossover with @ceescedasticity's fic(verse) elves, once, which isn't 100% my headcanon for orcs but it's essentially canon for this au because it makes everything VERY FUNNY in a tragic irony way. I've thought about this so much that it really deserves its own bullet-point post, but highlights include:

- Annatar attempts to conceal the fact that Curufin and Celegorm are orcs, and, y'know, have been since they died. This works until Celebrimbor identifies a bunch of the orc army's weapons as made by his father, even if the style is strange and fell, and the two of the have a HUGE fight in front of representatives of every Elvish kingdom in Middle Earth and most of an army of orcs.

- Bellow/Turgon is having the single strangest, most uncomfortable road trip of his life, and he counts the crossing of the Helcaraxë in that total.

- Turgon tries to convince Galadriel to take Celebrían and Elrond and get out of here, because inevitably this must be a cruel trick and all the orcs will be forced to turn on all the Elves. Galadriel is like, "Honestly, I've been watching Celebrimbor's slow corruption and Sauron's slower un-corruption for about 2,000 years now, and I think we actually have a shot at this. Also, bold of you to assume you can beat me in a fight."

- Curufin and Celegorm had BOOKED IT when Annatar's summoning-compulsion snapped, on the reasonable assumption that any plan the Dark Lord had for them + Celebrimbor could only be cruel to the extreme...so Celebrimbor and Annatar go on a bonus road trip to retrieve them.

- Everyone meets up by the Sea again, but instead of taking (or, obeying) the offer of escape into Ulmo's hands, Turgon and probably a bunch of other orcs volunteer to come help break the Crucible. They Deserve This.

- In the end, as usual, the day is ultimately saved - as are the souls of thousands of trapped elves - by the power of love and overwhelming violence.

AND THEN...

Celebrimbor & Annatar don't actually rebuild Ost-in-Edhil and Eregion as they were. Those days are over, and also the surviving Númenoreans kinda...regard Annatar as Absolute Evil, for some mysterious reason. And those who knew about the whole or even partial conspiracy - namely Tar-Miriel herself - aren't too keen on Celebrimbor, either.

They leave whoever wants to stay and rebuild in Eregion, leadership tbd based on the traditional system of craft-based meritocracy, and take a few decades off to lay low from geopolitics, work on their marriage, and for Celebrimbor to learn a little bit of necromancy so he can manipulate his own fëa and hröa, thank you very much.

They stay with the Witch-Queen of Calador for a while, discreetly because officially that kingdom is also not on good terms with its “former” evil-ish overlord. (The Witch-Queen of Calador and her not really sane, almost certainly unsafe, but arguably consensual relationship with Annatar really deserves her own post, too. She’s my favorite OC of this au. She really loves bats.)

Elrond & Celebrían get married! Elrond always knew his wedding would have to involve stopping drunken brawls from erupting between people who love him but hate each other, but he’d assumed it’d be Iathrim and Fëanorians, not an elderly Queen Miriel going for Annatar’s eyes with a butter knife.

Annatar regards the birth of Elrohir and Elladan with some concern, this alarming lineage now augmented by the blood of Arafinwë (cut off Melkor’s foot) and Galadriel (Melian’s pupil, hates him). But that’s nothing to how freaked out he is by Arwen, who is such an obvious Reprise of Lúthien that it’s now CLEAR that this was all a Melian scheme to assault him, personally.

He can’t just kill her now—Elrond and Galadriel and both right here, not to mention Celebrimbor. And then she’d absolutely be his enemy when she Returned… No, the only solution is to stay in Imladris for a while and become her most beloved uncle whom she would not dream of assaulting, whom she could not bring herself to injure even if circumstance and conscience forced her hand. Love has ever been the undoing of Melian’s line. The Reprise is obvious, but not so established that he cannot twist it into irony, Lúthien’s heir as his devoted student and companion rather than foe.

[smash cut to late 3rd Age Annatar watching the Music settle into place as Arwen interacts with the newest, currently toddling scion of the House of Elendil and nearly killing the child right then because no, no, thats not how this was supposed to Reprise—that’s his jewel of an elf-queen, Singer and trade-manipulator and niece, and he’s going to lose her forever? Killing the brat won’t even work, that would only make her follow him sooner, one way or another—]

Celebrimbor doesn’t want to build a city (and have his heart broken by the loss of the city) again, but he very much does want to ImproveThe World, and also to Make Things With His Hands. So he and Annatar, and whoever of the Gwaith-i-Mírdain wish to join them, set about… “Traveling” is too loose a term; just because they’re not city-building doesn’t mean anyone here wants to live on the road. They need workshops, forges, and ideally a maia-sized cat tree tall tower from which to survey their domain. They are a highly skilled work crew/technical, artistic & management consultants who change cities every 5-200 years, throughout Middle Earth and perhaps even other continents.

This what Celebrimbor and Annatar do, for most of the rest of their time in Middle Earth. A few of the Mírdain travel with them all the time. Others strike out on their own, or in similar small groups. Others stay in rebuilt Ost-in-Edhil, or Rivendell or the Havens or another Elvish kingdom, and come lend a hand when their particular talents are called for. Everyone who “died” in Númenor and was “resuscitated” by Annatar walked away with a strengthened, basically permanent osanwë connection to the simulated workshop group chat, which they’re aware of, and a location tracker and fëa-stamp saying “PROPERTY OF MAIRON, FUCK AROUND AND YOU WILL FIND OUT” which only an Ainu could detect.

They're the mysterious stranger(s) who accept an offer of hospitality on a stormy night and reward you with a magic ring that blesses your farm with fecundity. They arrive in a city in the middle of a cholera outbreak and inform the local rulers that they're here to overhaul the whole wells & sewers system in exchange for room and board; no, the local rulers do not get a choice in this. One time they do oust an evil ruling dynasty and just kinda take over the kingdom for a few centuries, but then Celebrimbor starts to get paranoid of his own growing attachment so Annatar reluctantly agrees to find and raise some honorable candidate for kingship [gender-neutral]. One of the Mírdain with them says, what about the choice of the people? And then after a lot of discussion, partly in collaboration with their local Men, they write up and seal with Power a Constitution that establishes an oversight body of political, economic, craft and etc. experts to oversee and have veto power over popular elections to kingship from a slate of candidates chosen by the current/soon-to-be previous king, on a strict thirty-year schedule. There, that should stabilize the whole messy business of mortal succession!

Also, 1300 years or so into the Third Age when this version of Gondor hits its equivalent of the Kin-Strife, Annatar takes advantage of its weakness to initiate a plan he's been contemplating for a while, especially while gaining local insight into a variety of nation-states and their management, and returns to Oroduin to forge what may he his last Great Work...a new standard of currency.

It’s called, in the common tongue developing from Adúnaic and Sindarin, the “mira”, pl. “miran”, from Quenya “mírë” (“jewel, precious thing). Where pettier currencies are based in gold or silver or the might of some particular empire, these hold value Because a Great Maia Said So—indeed, Sang So, Sang a new line into the Great Music that these coins would always have a value of…whatever he said so, if he updated a petty lyric or two of their Song. Those who use the coins don’t need to know this; they simply intuit, with coins in hand, what they are worth.

(You can lead even the mightiest empire by the nose if you control the price of grain alone, much less other commodities, or one currency relative to another. Each minute adjustment takes Power, especially to shift the natural balance of multiple interlocking goods…but Annatar is a master of the perfectly placed lever with which to shift the world.)

Maybe at some point the Valar are like, “okay, I think they don’t irrationally hate us anymore, I think this could work” and send a small group of Maiar to openly, humbly approach Annatar and Celebrimbor and ask if they might be apprentices in the craft of…whatever the fuck is happening here. Or maybe something adjacent, because Pallandro and Alatar would really like to fuck off into those excellent looking woods and hunt the remnants of Ungoliant’s spawn, and Radagast actually wandered away 5 minutes ago to talk to a bird. He’s gonna be a while. But Curumo and Olórin are listening politely!

…Or maybe not. Maybe it’s just the Jewelsmiths, slowly becoming folklore, bettering the world (and manipulating wide-scale economics) one stone at a time. (They’d still be the “Jewelsmiths” anyway, even if they included those who, in another universe, were called “The Wise.”)

As stated in the third Dave the Balrog post, they do Sail eventually, several centuries after Arwen’s death. Celebrimbor just gets tired, and Annatar can’t fix it. Ossë spends the whole voyage backstroking next to their ship and sarcastically quoting Annatar back at himself, Years of the Trees insults about being made weak and pathetic by love, until Annatar nearly lunges over the side as a wolf to tear his throat out.

#ride and fall #celebrimbor #annatar #sauron #silvergifting #my fic #second age shenaniganry #except technically it’s third age now

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bitethedustfools · 9 months ago

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TWST Story Idea (10)

Twisted Wonderland is a very unique world. Their world has magic, and they have different species living together, ranging from mages, beastmen, fae, merfolk, and so on.

Yuu's world had something like those, but obviously, that was just in a story, a fiction, a drawing on walls and pots. Something that almost all people heard of but did not believe in their existence. Which is understandable because Yuu's world is just humans and animals, and that's it. There are no werewolves, no vampires or mermaids, not even a dragon, and so on.

Yuu had been the type of person who always has been interested in these kinds of things: mythology, folklore, and cryptozoology, and maybe a little bit of history. That's what Yuu loves in the whole world.

They know many things and the history of how it came to be. You can ask Yuu if they know about skinwalker, and they'll put up a presentation that they prepared for years, which somehow leads to other cryptids. The Beast of Gévaudan? Yuu's got a conspiracy board with a bunch of pictures of animals to prove this beast is actually so and so and where it ran off to. They are also very knowledgeable about Greek mythology, followed by Norse, Aztec, and so on.

So imagine Yuu got transported to Twisted Wonderland and got the shock of their life when they saw a beastman. Yuu expected to see a furry animal standing on two feet, the face a mix with man and animal followed by animalistic growls and piercing eyes. Not… not a goddamn handsome man with a pair of ears and tails!

Sure, they had seen this type before, but that's on some people's fantasy that they have written and drawn! Yuu is absolutely stupefied when they're face to face.

Every time Yuu met a new species, Yuu didn't fail to feel disappointed in what they saw. The dragon by the name of Malleus got a human form that he likes to use, and that has the most ridiculously handsome face Yuu has ever seen. Where is the fire-breathing dragon? Where is the gold they hoard? The wings? Yuu is not satisfied with this.

Yuu met Hades next, who was hailed as one of the prominent seven figures seen as a hero or something, which just conflicted with what Yuu knows about the Hades of their world.

Yuu took a look at the multiple figures next to him like the Fairest Queen, the Queen of Hearts, Maleficent, and Ursula, and was astounded to see that they also were hailed as heroes. Their story is so much nicer than the original story Yuu read that at least, 2 out of 4 stated above died horribly if Yuu is not mistaken.

The dwarves are just toddlers that can speak perfectly, the eels from the Little Mermaid are humanified, what was supposed to be a werewolf is not a werewolf at all. The ghosts are all the same as though they are copy and pasted many times, some had different clothes. Yuu saw Grim, and they're not sure what he is, but he's cute, so that's alright.

Halloween comes, and Yuu is ready to be the most terrifying monster of them all, and they did, but that's because the rest dressed prettily and not terrifyingly like Yuu expected!

Where's the horror? Where are the screams of terror and the nightmare fuel appearance?? Yuu wanted to see someone getting traumatized, and all they got is sparkles and annoyance. Those magicam monsters must be stupid and blind to be scared of such pretty faces.

The only highlight of the Halloween was the Spectral realm like yes! The gloomy atmosphere is here! The graves! The very gothic architecture is everywhere! It was what Yuu imagined where the wandering and unrest souls will go.

It got crashed by a disco ball, though.

In short, Yuu didn't like it.

This world is sh*tty and against everything Yuu believed in. It's like meeting an idol you like so much and find that they are not the same as your expectation or something.

Dissatisfied, Yuu complained to themself, unaware that NRC heard it. "This is not what I imagined them to be. What a let down…"

Seeing that NRC are full of prideful kids, naturally, they get offended being told by a magicless human that Twisted Wonderland filled with wonder doesn't excite Yuu in any slightest.

Now this. This made Yuu perked up, but at the same time, Yuu is also offended that the others think their world is nothing special.

Yuu made up their mind to take it as a challenge. Yuu won't lose to these rip-offs of their world. They're gonna prove their world is superior, and that's Yuu's pride as a human being from that world.

Twisted Wonderland might have 7-8 prominent figures, but Yuu's world has more, although they may not exist today. Yuu is gonna show them how there's charm in being a mystery and history.

Yuu proceeded to drop snippets of a bunch of mythology, folklore, and cryptozoology randomly in the different places.

Yuu would go camping with the friends and said in his world there used to be a Wendigo roaming around in the woods. They would describe vividly about its appearance and how it eats flesh and the origin of how it came to be, taking sadistic delight when said friends looked at each other shakingly.

Yuu would mention out of nowhere about how beautiful people would have been sacrificed to the gods to a rather vain person and said it's lucky they are not in Yuu's world.

They even talked about Salem witch trials down to the details when a group of their friends has a fight or something. Magic doesn't involve in that, of course, but they looked terrified that even humans would accuse and execute their own kin. A very dark history indeed.

The mer eel would have threatened Yuu about squeezing and biting and so on, and Yu would drop a myth in their world about eating mermaid would bring immortality and maybe that's why they don't exist anymore.

They even mentioned casually that the faes would replace human kids with theirs and also kidnapped humans as pets. They can also be invisible to the eyes so no one would know or even find them.

The others are terrified to hear what story sprouted out of Yuu.

#twst #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst yuu #writing prompt #Malleus: we would never kidnap kids #Yuu*looks at Silver: No but...#sometimes you gotta put the boys in their place #and how you gonna do that?#you dominate them by telling all the tales your world have to offer #they gonna call Yuu weak???#yea check out the world where Yuu lived #all these gods and otherworldly beings and the humans triumphed #they get to tell the tales

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vigilskeep · 4 months ago

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um calenhad aeducan lore. known fondly as prince cal by the people of orzammar and also me. he’s called that after the founder of the theirin line, because after ferelden successfully rebelled against orlesian rule, orzammar was like oh fuck we’ve got to repair that relationship as if we didn’t just sit by the whole time that was happening. so there were a bunch of these kind of uh diplomatic publicity stunts happening around the time he was born. and nothing about his life has ever not been someone else’s angle

his mother was one of endrin’s lesser concubines from a lower status house, and every jealous eye turned in her direction when she bore the king a son. despite that, endrin’s queen took her and the baby under her wing. it wasn’t entirely altruistic. the queen had no sons of her own, so cal could serve instead as her “contender” for heir against trian, the son of her long-time rival, a favoured concubine called lady rosdrada. the queen also happened to be a notable warrior, a powerful reaver, who died years later on a deep roads expedition under mildly suspicious circumstances, with many blaming lady rosdrada. (she was never publicly accused but neither did the king ever marry her and allow her to rise to the queen’s vacant place, a fact bitterly resented by her faction.)

cal’s mother, who returned the queen’s protection and favour with fierce loyalty, was first among rosdrada’s accusers. furious that punishment never came, she changed almost overnight from a shy, humble woman to a politician who could in her own right engage in the life or death battle for succession, raising her son to be the fulfilment of the late queen’s ambitions. he was trained since childhood in both the ways of princely charm and the ways of a reaver warrior, all to be the vengeance of a woman whose face he sometimes struggles to remember. perhaps there was a time, as boys, when he tried to be a brother to trian despite it all, but with his mother’s teachings always in his ears and trian less bearable each year, he’s long since accepted that deadly conflict between them is inevitable. he’s never eager to be the ruthless aeducan prince, but he’s always done his duty, however ugly. he never turns down the foul-tasting reaver concoctions, or quakes when he’s sent to the deep roads. he always defends his house’s honour and makes the point in blood. anything less is death; his mother tells him so

he doesn’t truly want the throne. he just wants more than anything to have the weight of expectations off his shoulders, and to no longer dread that his mother, his second, and all who support them will pay the deadly price of his failure. he’ll jump blindly at the chance to get this fight over with—and that’s all the opportunity bhelen ever needed

#calenhad aeducan #i say only that the queen has no sons so i can out yrsa and cal in the same worldstates sometimes :)#*put #yrsa being my lady aeducan. she’s the queen’s daughter #a boy seems to always be a better contender in orzammar culture unfortunately #so they could logically co-exist #me when theres a dragon age game: so is anyone going to make a reaver boy with insane duty issues from one of his parents or—#they didnt lock a random dragon in that palace for me to NOT make excuses to give my characters the reaver spec early #i havent quiteee decided whether bhelen is rosdrada’s or not #he hasn’t been in previous imaginings of mine but i think that makes more sense here #also makes cal’s guilt insane bc he was tolddddd never to trust one of THAT WOMAN’S sons #shoutout to rosdrada she has a truly horrible time in dao i think bhelen potentially being her son actually makes it worse #haunting that palace. miss havisham looking. lady macbeth type monologues. she was the only one who loved trian in the end #i suppose she killed him too by pushing him towards this when he could never win it. i suppose they all killed him

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 3 months ago

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ok so ive been rewatching psychoville and saw on the wikipedia that there were a bunch of websites made for the series (they were all written by reece and steve btw) which i've been looking through cos they are genuinely SO fucking funny & also just amazingly creative lol!

anyway i know people in the fandom probs already know about this (since the show came out literally 15 years ago pfft) but i thought i'd share some of my fav bits (but honestly would just recommend just checking them out if you haven't i have been crying with laughter for literally hours lol)

i will say that a lot of the media (videos, games, etc) no longer work on the archived sites rip but i'm sure people have uploaded some of the stuff (vids especially) to yt or other places lol

so a) i love that we get some background stuff on jelly and 2) 'captain CRACKERS' bernie clifton's dressing room reference question mark ??????? (ofc bcdr was AFTER this but i know love the idea that mr jelly trained under len pfft)

what that red raw stump do though 👀 (sorry pfffft)

mr jolly's website wasn't that interesting soz tho i did like him comparing being a doctor to being a clown lol

the comment about fag bears did make me wheeze i'm afraid lol i also loved the blurry photos of lomax's commodities lol (kinda reminded me of the bit in tlog w/ that terrible old photographer guy lol)

when i tell you i DIED with laughter at the 'now known as hull' bit like u just know reece wrote that bit pfft

not really a funny thing but this poem written by david honestly kinda breaks my heart lol... i think it also a lot of additional context to david's guilt when he thought he'd killed his father(faver) because perhaps he felt guilty about NOT feeling guilty you get me? like, it felt to me that when maureen told david it was SHE who killed her husband, it didn't feel like he was mad at her for doing it, but more that she kept the fact from him. it's about... the mutual oedipus-coded obsession with one another that couldn't even be destroyed in death and in this essay i will....

ghoul_lass23 is just like me but about tumblr lol fr

nothing feels more cursed than the phrases 'the river minge has burst its banks', 'crying creamy tears' and 'fleshy rapunzel' (which i've just noticed they misspelt lol... don't think that was intentional lol?) so if i had to read this so do you <3

the way that i kinda wish this actually existed tho pfft... also, it does kinda remind me of that video where jenny nicholson talked about that insane reality show 'opposite worlds' lol

'cross between seven and glee' is honestly sending me pfft

also on this part there was a script from stinkfinger (which is a show mentioned on the show) which sounded suspiciously like a reference to tlc lol

the less said about swastknickers the better

(will say i did nearly piss myself laughing at the nazi section of the hoity toity website lol which wasn't a sentence i thought i'd type today lol)

i just love these kinds of jokes pfft

also the whole biography sections of each of the pantomime cast are fab lol tho i AM kinda pissed they made debbie from yeovil and yet didn't give her a west country accent lol!!! (i guess they thought it'd be a bit much w/ joy being bristolian but i'm still mad about it lol)

also i know people have probably already pointed this out but i do find it funny that brian in the in9 episode last night of the proms is a closeted gay guy who likes watching drag was probably a reference to brian in this show that was a drag queen like... is anything these guys do NOT a reference??? u know those gaylor fans who obsessively look for clues in her songs about her apparent secret sexuality? all i'm saying is that i think they'd really like the extended reece shearsmith & steve pemberton universe pfft

all three of these made me cry with laughter lol

ohh this is interesting lol so obviously they suspected that some people might be all 'um why didn't the sprinklers go off during the fire at ravenhill? plot hole much!' so they wrote this into one of the websites so they could be like SEE! WE'RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU DUMBASSES lol

both the jeremy kyle reference (remember when that was a thing? yikes... my mum used to watch his show CONSTANTLY...) and nurse kenshington's thoughts on david and maureen are interesting lol.. also there's a reference to the serial killer top trumps in this bit lol! (do people still play top trumps?? man i LOVED top trumps lol...)

the entire sunnyvale care home section is so fucking funny (both the website AND in the show lol mrs wren/mrs ladybird face is unironically probably my favourite character on the entire show) these were just some of my fav gags lol...

ok but why is this the SECOND reference to a guy punching a child who was apparently looking at his dick lol!??!! did this happen to one of you ??!!?!? reece did you punch a child ??!???!?!??

&&&& that's it lol

there were a few websites i didn't spend long on or generally weren't that interesting (coughmidgetgemscough) but honestly? i was really captivated with just how funny and well put together all these sites were! you can tell they had a lot of fun making it and i'm sure fans at the time LOVED being able to have this semi-interactive element of the show lol

there was just something so wonderfully late 00's about these websites lol i genuinely don't think i've laughed this much at anything in literal months and all of this is just solidifies that psychoville is a criminally under-appreciated masterpiece lol

#psychoville #reece shearsmith #steve pemberton #there are too many characters mentioned here to list lol #honestly more people need to watch this show it's just great lol #anyway i hope that some of y'all have a laugh reading some of these even if ur not familiar with the show lol!

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badass-queer-couples-battle · 1 year ago

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Gay wrongs tournament, round 2 of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For John and Jack:

So, they both are literal murders. One of them is a little bit more insane than the other. Okay, the little bit part is not right, totally insane that is John, yes. But gonna love him though. He had been in rehab for alcohol, drugs, sex and murder. Don't kiss him, he might be wearing poisoning lipstick. They are canon mlm. They had been stuck in a two week time loop for five years, which was like leading a married life for them. They didn't actually marry, but they were partners, both in business and sexually. They worked together for an time agency. Then Jack's memories of two years were erased and he left. He went into independent self deployment, doing scams using his knowledge of future events. After that he build an alien hunting institute in Cardiff, Wales. When John and Jack see eachother again after years, you don't know whether they will they kiss or fight. They do both. Did I tell you that along this story Jack became an inmortal who can't stay dead? No matter how or how often he dies or is killed, he keeps coming back to life. This is all very scraping on the surface, but oh boy, would it be at least a novella to describe them.

They worked together in the Time Agency where they did horrible things to the extent where Jack had two years of his memory stolen so that he couldn’t know what he’d done. They were also in a time loop together for five years where they canonically thought of each other as the wife (John was a good wife :3), and were basically married. Then they had a divorce arc and they both separately went rogue from the Agency to become conmen, although they still worked together/clashed on occasions, always still with that spark of passion. “Frenemies with benefits” Jack called them once, although John preferred “my lover, my rival, my nemesis and destiny. And bane of my bloody life.” Canon finds us where Jack has tried to reform and be a better person, but John is still chasing cons, and all he wants to do is bring Jack back to the stars with him, back to the crime and the glitter of the galaxies (it doesn’t work and he shoves Jack off a building but Jack got himself immortal so he’s fine <3) anyway I am very normal about them xoxo

In John's introduction to the series he shows up on a roof where some guy is mugging someone, grabs him by the throat and dangles him over the edge of the building while this guy begs for his life before dropping him just because he felt like it. When John and Jack interact for the first time in the show there's a super cool guitar riff, very evil western vibes, they walk up to each other, look deeply into each other's eyes, make out, then start throwing punches to Blur's Song 2. In one of the audio dramas we're told about various times where these two conned people, stole a bunch of money and gold and gems and stuff, then had sex with whoever it is they conned before (sometimes) killing them. When Jack devided he was done and left John to die John escaped and married the queen of England (Victoria) then locked Jack up somewhere to take his life force and live forever, destroying the timeline in the process. John has tried to kill all of Jack's friends at least twice to have him all to himself. He found Jack's long lost brother and when the brother turned out to be a terrible person with a vendetta against Jack John did everything he could to save Jack. Their relationship is canon but very one-sided most of the time

just this video

For the Doctor and the Master:

Immortal genderfluid war criminals <333

So we all know the Master has killed plenty of people, but, despite their reputation, the Doctor has killed a more than average number too. Sure they undid the whole destroying their own planet thing, but that's still something the Doctor did. Also there's apparently a novelization out there where, when they were children, the Doctor killed one of their childhood bullies but then made a deal with Death so that the Master had the memory of it and became Death's champion, which is pretty messed up and murder husbandish. There are plenty more war crimes on the Doctor's hands, and the Master has killed countless people in a variety of creative ways. Also, I'm having trouble finding the quote, but I swear the Master once said something to the lines of "trying to kill the Doctor is just my flirting" or something similar. But I do know Missy (also the Master but female at the time) described their relationship as "older than your civilization and infinitely more complex". They love each other, they're constantly trying to destroy each other, they are the only friends they each have who can even begin to understand everything they've been through; they've known each other since childhood and they've watched (and helped) civilizations rise and fall together. They may not be who you first think of for murder spouses but they really are a beautiful example.

#doctor who #torchwood #the doctor #the master #jack harkness #john hart #losers bracket round 2

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arclundarchivist · 8 months ago

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Reading through the Heroes Ascension Book, and here’s the stuff I found that seemed like set up for future, likely sidelined story content :/

But there are also hints for stuff that could show up in the main blame through interactions and some possible new characters.

Rebuilding Ruins: Symmetra/Lifeweaver Story

• ⁠Lifeweaver is living at the Atlantic Arcology, which comes under attack by Null Sector, which could have been a major problem due to their “guests”.

• ⁠Symmetra is working against negative influences inside Vishkar, but how far that will get her is up in the air and Lifeweaver invites her to join him at the Arcology as a member of the “Collective”, an altruistic group of scientists and intellectuals.

Unity: Orisa/Efi Story

• ⁠Numbani comes under assault by Null Sector, with Humans defending their Omnic neighbors much more openly than other places.

• ⁠Efi creates a bunch of small drones to help defend Numbani, so that Orisa and her can leave Numbani to help people.

• ⁠Story ends with the pair planning on setting out immediately, and takes place around the same time as the Rio Mission, Efi may be seeking out Overwatch.

Luck of the Draw: Ashe Story

• ⁠Ashe and the Deadlocks were attempting to break into the Las Vegas criminal underground.

• ⁠Ashe nearly died defending BOB, who in turn is almost taken captive by Null Sector.

• ⁠It confirmed damaging or removing the “helmets” on an Omnic causes them to have a “seizure” and die. (What the fuck Rammatra?)

A Friendly Rivalry: Junkers Story.

• ⁠Junker Queen almost had Roadhog and Junkrat executed.

• ⁠Junkrat reveals his secret treasure: A giant airship stored within the last remnants of the Omnium beneath Junkertown. Queen and Hammond begin making plans to get it airborne again.

Thoughtless Gods: Hammond Story (And boy these is a lot of worldbuilding in this one)

• ⁠Direct sequel to the previous story.

• ⁠Reveals that Omnics remaining in the Outback are oddly feral and corrupted in some fashion, cannibalizing each other for parts and actively “hunting” Junkers. Hammond has no idea what caused this.

• ⁠Hammond remembers his time being experimented on the Moon Colony, he is apparently “older” than Winston has he gained awareness before hand, and sort of became a “big brother” to Winston.

• ⁠The apes and Hammond were not the first experiments. There were failures, apparently some other kind of animals, that are still up on the Moonbase. Hammond calls them “wrong”.

• ⁠The apes have a whole society, are building weapons and armor and may be constructing a whole new building/device on the Colony.

• ⁠Possible hints at the Mars Colony.

• ⁠Two apes are named. Oscar, unknown, and Dyson, a large, cruel Orangutan - feels like a character set up.

Where Honor Lives: Hanzo/Kiriko Story

• ⁠Shimada weaponry have “special energy tech”, throws more confusion on the “is this magic” question surrounding the Japanese characters abilities. The Hashimoto are attempting to copy the designs but “they can’t manifest the proper power”. (This seems to be due to Kiriko’s father purposefully give them shoddy work but they don’t know that).

• ⁠The Hashimoto can work with impunity in Tokyo, and are causing trouble even with Null Sector literally on the horizon.

• ⁠Hanzo and Kiriko’s interactions again confuse the whole age gap, because he treats her as if she was a tween when he was a teen.

• ⁠Hanzo joins Kiriko in protecting Kanezaka from the invasion.

Lost Ghosts: Soldier/Ana Story

• ⁠Ana splits from Jack after learning he’s been sitting on the list of Overwatch agent names using it to track Talon movements and not warning the targets. She isn’t joining Overwatch but is going to be trying to protect remaining Agents who haven’t answered the Recall but are not yet dead to Talon.

• ⁠We meet another old Overwatch agent Mirembe, who is thinking about answering the Recall, I think she’s the woman that was standing in the group photo from Ana’s trailer.

• ⁠Another, Kimiko, is named.

Lucky Man: Soldier/Sombra Story

• ⁠Sombra has been leaking info to Soldier, because she believes the cabal she is after is also to blame for that happened in Zurich.

• ⁠Jack has been hunting Talon as a proxy because he never truly believed they took down the HQ. He also doesn’t believe Reyes knew what was going to happen.

• ⁠Sombra and Jack seem to be set up to continue working together, and Jack is headed to Oasis hunting for more clues on the Cabal.

#overwatch 2 #overwatch #symmetra #lifeweaver #ow orisa #efi oladele #ow ashe #roadhog #junkrat #junker queen #hammond #winston #ow hanzo #ow kiriko #soldier 76 #ow ana #sombra

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branwendaughterofllyr · 1 month ago

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maris fic????? im soo curious about it👀

Evidently the people want to know about Maris. So to be clear, I currently have no plans to post any Maris fic, it was just one of the ideas I was playing with before I ended up writing a poison tree. I don't think I even have the draft anymore, and all I can remember about it is the line "Maris was not the prettiest of her sisters. Which was fine, for she certainly was the cleverest." I believe it was an Aemond/Maris fic, with a focus on the Four Storms.

I actually think the Four Storms get a bad rap in the fandom, considering three out of four of them ended miserably, and we don't know what happened to the other one.

And there's a very telling detail, I think, that most people miss when it comes to Elenda Caron and her daughters.

Lady Elenda Baratheon, the widow of Storm’s End, also took a new husband that year. With Lord Borros dead and Royce an infant, Dornish incursions into the stormlands had grown more numerous, and the outlaws of the kingswood were proving troublesome. The widow felt the need of a man’s strong hand to keep the peace. She chose Ser Steffon Connington, second son of the Lord of Griffin’s Roost. Though twenty years younger than Lady Elenda, Connington had proved his valor during Lord Borros’s campaign against the Vulture King, and was said to be as fierce as he was handsome.

And I honestly think this hints at something darker about the way that Lady Elenda unloaded all of her daughters off, either as septas or wives, since her new husband would have been closer in age to her unmarried daughters. Maris joins the Silent Sisters for unknown reasons, and while it probably is just a rumor her tongue was cut out, considering that her sisters also ended pretty miserably and she was partially blamed for Aemond losing his temper and killing Luke, I am side-eyeing it.

And I also think that Cassandra gets a bad rap, as well, despite her being in pretty uncomfortable straits after the Dance. Casssandra is likely around twenty (based off of Floris' age) and unmarried, no longer the heir to Storm's End because of her new brother, has lost her chances to be princess and then queen, and now a large chunk of the eligible men have died during the recent Civil War. And I don't think she was the one who killed Jaehaera, and I think that all of the above issues made her a great target for possibly being framed in the matter of the poisoning. Or if she was actually involved, she was likely an easy mark for manipulation (and considering that Tessario was an Unwin Peake appointment.....). And her punishment being to get married off to an old man with a bunch of children, while her mother declares it will stop her plotting..... Idk, maybe you should have been more on top of things, Elenda!

And then we finally have Floris getting married off to a man old enough to be her grandfather at age 14/15, who had SEVEN sons from two prior marriages but still gets her pregnant almost immediately, leading to her dying in childbirth at only 16. I don't care how sad Thaddeus Rowan was anout his teen bride dying with his twentieth kid, you can't make me like him!!!!!!

The Four Storms are really canon OCs to me, so I'm more than a little disappointed how slept on they are, and I think Maris and Cassandra are the real standouts here.

#branwen answers

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t0ast-ghost · 6 months ago

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“Since the Cerritos is statistically the horniest and least romantically committed crew in Starfleet, we have no married officers aboard.”

- Lower Decks S4 EP6

First off if this is referring to just their current time period then yes I’d probably agree BUT since it’s a show and I think the creators were making a clever nod towards other shows I’d like to point out some things

This’ll get long. (Spoilers for TOS, TNG, DS9, & SNW)

TOS:

Both Spock and McCoy are divorced (McCoy twice over)

Whatever was going on between Spock and Chapel ???

Kirk is apparently too committed to the enterprise (yeah definitely the ship… nobod-nothing else) to commit to any of the women that he has definitely fucked

Kirk didn’t commit to Carol Marcus and she had his son

The Shore Leave episode

Theodore Sturgeon’s letter about the Shore Leave episode

Episodes with “Paradise” in their name

Must I bring up Amok Time?

Half the crew is just in love with the ship and all their relationships fail. The one time someone tries to get married their spouse dies

TNG:

Jean Luc is happy as is … Q however

Q is the horniest motherfucker for that frenchman and I’m counting him

Riker

Beverly with the ghost

Oh yeah Jean Luc literally kills two spouses (Crusher and Sisko) he’s actively uncommitting the romantics

The show’s SECOND EPISODE is where everyone gets super horny and fucks each other

Even the “emotionless” android gets some (I cannot blame Tasha one bit, Godspeed)

That’s all I remember from this show

DS9:

JADZIA DAX MY QUEEN

Julian Bashir’s original name was Dr. Amoros. He is doctor dick.

Lwuxana Troi wants Odo so bad but that goop ain’t committing

Whatever is going on between Odo and Quark

Need I mention Garak?

Mirror universe (Kira is about to kiss herself)

Almost every character is dating each other in this show and they made it canon for several but they all fall apart (Except Rom and Leela cause they’re perfect)

The O’Brien polycule… I drew it out but it got more complicated than the O’Briens (basically Julian is best friends with Miles who is married to Keiko. Keiko was on a shuttle while pregnant with Julian and Kira when there was a crash and Julian had to transfer the child from Keiko into either him or Kira, so Kira volunteered. She ends up living with the O’Brien’s while carrying the child and bonds with both of them (to the point both she and Miles think it’s weird). Kira eventually gets with Odo who is Quark’s nemesis and Quark is crushing on Jadzia who is exes with Julian who is (somewhat unknowingly) courting Garak. Jadzia Dax becomes married to Worf but I think her and Sisko have definitely fucked. Sisko is married to Kasidy and enemies with Gul Dukat who reciprocates that but is also fixated on Kira who hates him. Did I miss something?)

Now, I bet they did not count DS9 in their statistics because it’s a station not a ship but also because they’d always win this contest

SNW:

Spock and T’Pring

Spock and Chapel

Spock and Kirk

Other Kirk and La’an

Kirk and Carol ???

(All of them fail that’s why I bring it up)

Pelia has been married to another woman (not canon but it’s gotta have happened, right?)

Whatever was going on between Una and Neera in the court episode

There’s no way Uhura’s in a relationship (they might set her up with Scotty next season but I’d like to see her and Chapel)

The others do not seem romantically committed to other people

Pike’s weird dinner parties

To be honest Lower Decks is maybe the most outright vulgar in its language but most of the time it’s a feel good show about a bunch of best friends. Their captain is married, their CMO and head security officer are in a (happy?) relationship, and third thing here.

I haven’t seen any of Voyager or Enterprise and I don’t think Discovery is that horny/romantically uncommitted

#star trek #star trek lower decks #lower decks #star trek tos #star trek the original series #star trek tng #star trek the next generation #star trek ds9 #star trek deep space nine #star trek snw #star trek strange new worlds #I’m not tagging all those names #silly star trek stuff

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invisibleicewands · 10 months ago

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Michael Sheen: Prince Andrew, Port Talbot and why I quit Hollywood

When Michael Sheen had an idea for a dystopian TV series based in his home town of Port Talbot, in which riots erupt when the steel works close, he had no idea said works would actually close — a month before the show came to air. “Devastating,” he says, simply, of last month’s decision by Tata Steel to shut the plant’s two blast furnaces and put 2,800 jobs at risk.

“Those furnaces are part of our psyche,” he says. “When the Queen died we talked about how psychologically massive it was for the country because people couldn’t imagine life without her. The steel works are like that for Port Talbot.”

Sheen’s show — The Way — was never meant to be this serious. The BBC1 three-parter is directed by Sheen, was written by James Graham and has the montage king Adam Curtis on board as an executive producer. The plot revolves around a family who, when the steel works are closed by foreign investors, galvanise the town into a revolt that leads to the Welsh border being shut. Polemical, yes, but it has a lightness of touch. “A mix of sitcom and war film,” Sheen says, beaming.

But that was then. Now it has become the most febrile TV show since, well, Mr Bates vs the Post Office. “We wanted to get this out quickly,” Sheen says. With heavy surveillance, police clamping down on protesters and nods to Westminster abandoning parts of the country, the series could be thought of as a tad political. “The concern was if it was too close to an election the BBC would get nervous.”

I meet Sheen in London, where he is ensconced in the National Theatre rehearsing for his forthcoming starring role in Nye, a “fantasia” play based on the life of the NHS founder, Labour’s Aneurin “Nye” Bevan. He is dressed down, with stubble and messy hair, and is a terrific raconteur, with a lot to discuss. As well as The Way and Nye, this year the actor will also transform himself into Prince Andrew for a BBC adaptation of the Emily Maitlis Newsnight interview.

Sheen has played a rum bunch, from David Frost to Tony Blair and Chris Tarrant. And we will get to Bevan and Andrew, but first Wales, where Sheen, 55, was born in 1969 and, after a stint in Los Angeles, returned to a few years ago. He has settled outside Port Talbot with his partner, Anna Lundberg, a 30-year-old actress, and their two children. Sheen’s parents still live in the area, so the move was partly for family, but mostly to be a figurehead. The actor has been investing in local arts, charities and more, putting his money where his mouth is to such an extent that there is a mural of his face up on Forge Road.

“It’s home,” Sheen says, shrugging, when I ask why he abandoned his A-list life for southwest Wales. “I feel a deep connection to it.” The seed was sown in 2011 when he played Jesus in Port Talbot in an epic three-day staging of the Passion, starring many locals who were struggling with job cuts and the rising cost of living in their town. “Once you become aware of difficulties in the area you come from you don’t have to do anything,” he says, with a wry smile. “You can live somewhere else, visit family at Christmas and turn a blind eye to injustice. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but I’d seen something I couldn’t unsee. I had to apply myself, and I might not have the impact I’d like, but the one thing that I can say is that I’m doing stuff. I know I am — I’m paying for it!”

The Way is his latest idea to boost the area. The show, which was shot in Port Talbot last year, employed residents in front of and behind the camera. The extras in a scene in which fictional steel workers discuss possible strike action came from the works themselves. How strange they will feel watching it now. The director shakes his head. “It felt very present and crackling.”

One line in the show feels especially crucial: “The British don’t revolt, they grumble.” How revolutionary does Sheen think Britain is? “It happens in flare-ups,” he reasons. “You could say Brexit was a form of it and there is something in us that is frustrated and wants to vent. But these flare-ups get cracked down, so the idea of properly organised revolution is hard to imagine. Yet the more anger there is, the more fear about the cost of living crisis. Well, something’s got to give.”

I mention the Brecon Beacons. “Ah, yes, Bannau Brycheiniog,” Sheen says with a flourish. Last year he spearheaded the celebration of the renaming of the national park to Welsh, which led some to ponder whether Sheen might go further in the name of Welsh nationalism. Owen Williams, a member of the independence campaigners YesCymru, described him to me as “Nye Bevan via Che Guevara” and added that the actor might one day be head of state in an independent Wales.

Sheen bursts out laughing. “Right!” he booms. “Well, for a long time [the head of state] was either me or Huw Edwards, so I suppose that’s changed.” He laughs again. “Gosh. I don’t know what to say.” Has he, though, become a sort of icon for an independent Wales? “I’ve never actually spoken about independence,” he says. “The only thing I’ve said is that it’s worth a conversation. Talking about independence is a catalyst for other issues that need to be talked about. Shutting that conversation down is of no value at all. People say Wales couldn’t survive economically. Well, why not? And is that good? Is that a good reason to stay in the union?”

On a roll, he talks about how you can’t travel from north to south Wales by train without going into England because the rail network was set up to move stuff out of Wales, not round it. He mentions the collapse of local journalism and funding cuts to National Theatre Wales, and says these are the conversations he wants to have — but where in Wales are they taking place?

So, for Sheen, the discussion is about thinking of Wales as independent in identity, not necessarily as an independent state? “As a living entity,” he says, is how he wants people to think about his country. “It’s much more, for me, about exploring what that cultural identity of now is, rather than it being all about the past,” he says. “We had a great rugby team in the 1970s, but it’s not the 1970s anymore and, yes, male-voice choirs make us cry, but there are few left. Mines aren’t there either. All the things that are part of the cultural identity of Wales are to do with the past and, for me, it’s much more about exploring what is alive about Welsh identity now.”

You could easily forget that Sheen is an actor. He calls himself a “not for profit” thesp, meaning he funds social projects, from addiction to disability sports. “I juggle things more,” he says. “Also I have young kids again and I don’t want to be away much.”

Sheen has an empathetic face, a knack of making the difficult feel personable. And there are two big roles incoming — a relief to fans.

Which leads us to Prince Andrew. “Of course it does.” This year he plays the troubled duke in A Very Royal Scandal — a retelling of the Emily Maitlis fiasco with Ruth Wilson as the interviewer. Does the show go to Pizza Express in Woking? “No,” Sheen says, grinning. Why play the prince? He thinks about this a lot. “Inevitably you bring humanity to a character — that’s certainly what I try to do.” He pauses. “I don’t want people to say, ‘It was Sheen who got everybody behind Andrew again.’ But I also don’t want to do a hatchet job.”

So what is he trying to do? “Well, it is a story about privilege really,” he says. “And how easy it is for privilege to exploit. We’ve found a way of keeping the ambiguity, because, legally, you can’t show stuff that you cannot prove, but whether guilty or not, his privilege is a major factor in whatever exploitation was going on. Beyond the specifics of Andrew and Epstein, no matter who you are, privilege has the potential to exploit someone. For Andrew, it’s: ‘This girl is being brought to me and I don’t really care where she comes from, or how old she is, this is just what happens for people like me.’”

It must have been odd having the prince and Bevan — the worst and best of our ruling classes — in his head at the same time. What, if anything, links the men? “What is power and what can you do with it?” Sheen muses, which seems to speak to his position in Port Talbot too. Nye at the National portrays the Welsh politician on his deathbed, in an NHS hospital, moving through his memories while doped up on meds. Sheen wants the audience to think: “Is there a Bevan in politics now and, if not, why not?”

Which takes us back to The Way. At the start one rioter yells about wanting to “change everything” — he means politically, sociologically. However, assuming that changing everything is not possible, what is the one thing Sheen would change? “Something practical? Not ‘I want world peace’. I would create a people’s chamber as another branch of government — like the Lords, there’d be a House of People, representing their community. Our political system has become restrictive and nonrepresentational, so something to open that up would be good.”

The actor is a thousand miles from his old Hollywood life. “It’d take a lot for me to work in America again — my life is elsewhere.” It is in Port Talbot instead. “The last man on the battlefield” is how one MP describes the steel works in The Way, and Sheen is unsure what happens when that last man goes. “Some people say it’s to do with net zero aims,” he says about the closure. “Others blame Brexit. But, ultimately, the people of Port Talbot have been let down — and there is no easy answer about what comes next.”

#Michael Sheen #Times #Interview #Nye #The Way #A Very Royal Scandal

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