#it's like my math teacher who told me to just stop trying cause math isn't for me but like with life itself

[jesushatesmyguts]

"CONSIDERING YOU ALREADY TRIED SO HARD FOR YEARS INCLUDING NUMEROUS ROUTINES AND STRATEGIES, I DON'T THINK A LOT WILL CHANGE WITHOUT MEDICATION"

THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF!!!!

[dinoartistry]

How I got these results on my finals without spending hours stu"dying" at my desk.

Now that finals season is over, we almost all recieved our grades and results.

However, sometimes you don't get the results you wanted despite studying for hours and hours on end. It's frustrating and discouraging, right?

Here are my tips on how to get better grades without having to spend all of your free time at your desk! ↓

NB: That doesn't mean that you should stop studying entirely.

Also this is a really long post but you can of course just read the tips that interest you!

1. Be attentive in class. I know it's tempting to just sit down and chat with your friends or stay on your phone, because class can be really boring. However, paying attention to what your teacher says and taking note of everything that might sound useful is a huge step in getting better grades.

Your note-taking doesn't have to be aesthetic. At the beginning of the year I wasted a lot of time making my notes pretty in class, and that made me lose a lot of precious information. You can always rewrite your notes in an aesthetic way later! Re-writing is a great study method too, so it's a win-win. To give you an example, here are the history and theatre history notes I take in class:

They're ugly. And that's okay! If I could score 35 and 50 respectively with these, so can you.

2. Be active in class. Of course, most of the time just listening isn't enough. You need to participate. Teacher asks a question? Raise your hand!

Now, you might be thinking "but what if I don't have the right answer and say something false? Everyone will make fun of me", and to that I will answer, who cares? They're not trying. You're making efforts to absorb the material, they're just sitting there and laughing because they're insecure about their own answers. I'm not making fun of them by saying this, it's just a fact.

3. Ask questions. Just, a bunch of them. If you don't understand the material, or have doubts, ask your teacher! They're not your enemy, even if they might sound dismissive. This year for example, I had a physics teacher who was a PAIN in class. He talked through the lesson super quickly and never really explained anything to anyone. However, there was one time where I didn't understand the material at all, and I went to talk to him. And he took time (like 20 minutes!) to re-explain to me what I hadn't understood.

Teachers are here to help you. Take advantage of it.

4. Research research research! By that I mean, go further! For example, in French class I had to read a book that talked about the genocide in Rwanda. But it was told through a child's eyes, so didn't really talk about what exactly was going on. So, I took it upon myself to take some time to make my own research about it. And guess what? Talking about it improved my grade on that project. In history, make sure you understand the causes and consequences of the historical events you study in class. "Why did it happen?" and "What was its impact on society?" are two questions you must be able to answer at the end of the day.

5. Understand how. This is maths-specific. Take this simple question about arithmetic sequences:

If the first term of a sequence (a1) is 2 and the common difference (d) is 5, what will be the 7th term (an) of that sequence?

It's not enough to know that the result is 32 because that's the answer you got in class. You need to understand the steps you use to get to the result.

Here for example, the formula is:

an = a1 + (n-1) . d

So, here:

a1 = 2, n = 7, d = 5.

The equation becomes :

an = 2 + (7 - 1) . 5

It's now simply a matter of method! 7-1 comes first, so you're left with:

an = 2 + 6 . 5

Then, the multiplication:

an = 2 + 30

And lastly:

an = 32

It's all a matter of taking the time to do things in the right order, one at a time. Think of it like reading a sentence! You can't just read the words in a random order, right? That wouldn't make sense. Read the words in the right order. Calculate in the right order. It's the same thing, I promise (coming from someone who used to hate maths)!

I really like the exam scene in assassination classroom for that reason. The moment the big monster to slay becomes a simple fish to cut because you know from where to start? That's the goal here.

6. Let go. You don't have to be the best of the best all the time. Putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and beating yourself up for not having full marks is doing the exact opposite of what we want here. You're smart, okay? Stressing yourself out does one thing: it turns your brain to mush, making you incapable of remembering information and will make you lose your means when you're faced with a test or an exam. That's what I did for chemistry this year, because I struggle with it, and would you look at that! I got 28. So let go. It's okay, you got this. ⚝

All in all, you're your own best friend. Take care of yourself. Don't put on yourself a pressure you wouldn't put on others. Being too hard on yourself will only end up hurting you, and we don't want that!

[hinatastinygiant]

2 | Chrysler Imperial

Pairing: Ominis Gaunt x Fem!Reader

Serpents and Roses

living arrangement.

"Morning," you yawn as you enter the room. "I can't believe you're still here. Thought you'd be in your office already."

I was," he nods, "but I came back because of this." He holds out a plate stacked high with pancakes and places them on the kitchen table.

Your eyes widen. "Is that for me?" you ask, stomach growling.

"Yeah. Matilda, uh, I mean Professor Weasley just poofed them out of nowhere after I told her how much you like 'em so I brought them over," he says with a grin while pulling a small bottle of maple syrup out of his pocket.

"She's becoming my favorite," you smile as you reach for a fork.

While you eat, James sits beside you reading through a textbook.

"Are you sure you don't want some?" you ask with a mouthful of food.

"Don't be gross," he says with disgust as he looks up from the book. "I don't have time for that, I'm learning."

"Apologies," you say sarcastically, "I'll try to not make you want to throw up."

"Shut up," he says, throwing his pen at you.

"How's that going, by the way?"

"Not bad."

"What is it you have to teach?" you hum, glancing over his shoulder.

"I'm like the history teacher for muggles? Which are humans, by the way," he explains to you.

"You've gotta be kidding me," you laugh. "You always hated history."

"I know," he agrees. "Math was always more of my thing."

"How did that happen? I mean, I know you aren't dumb, James, but you're a high school dropout..."

"Headmaster Black is a sucker for my charm, clearly," he jokes, flipping his hair.

"Oh shut up," you roll your eyes. "How about we go play some chess and you take a break from all that crap?"

James shakes his head and you sigh. You stand up to wash your dish before readying yourself to leave the room. Well I'm going down to the library. I'll be back in a bit."

"Have fun, Y/N," he nods, returning to his studies.

The library was nothing like any you've seen. And you've been in quite a few. It was like an old library but it seemed so modern. You're not sure why, but it felt like it was full of life. The shelves were packed to the brim with books. The couches were inviting. And the windows were beautiful.

You walk through the isles, letting your fingers glide over the spines of books, trying to decide what you should read first. You haven't heard of any of these books before, how odd. Just as you find one to pull out, a voice calls out to you, causing you to jump.

"What are you doing here?!" a man's voice asks.

You look around the room and see nothing. "H-Hello?" you call out nervously. "Who's there?"

A mere second later, a thing you can only describe as a ghost gets right up in your face. "Can you see me now, muggle?"

You let out a scream and fall to the ground. "Please stop screaming, miss. Please!" he begs, hovering over you. "You're not supposed to be here, and the fact that you can see me is even more worrying! Get out!"

"Peeves!" A woman's voice breaks through his. You look through him to see an older woman walking towards you. "How dare you scare Hogwarts' newest student. Apologies, Miss Y/N," she says she she holds out her and and offers to help you stand up. "I know this is all very new to you."

"Yes, it is," you nod. "I thought the library would be the one place that is the same but apparently not."

The old woman chuckles to herself. "Well, Peeves here is the resident poltergeist. But I assure you, he isn't harmful, merely mischievous."

"Yeah, that was the last thing I expected," you chuckle, looking around the room. "Professor..."

"Agnes Scribner," she bows slightly. "What can I do for you, Miss Y/N?"

"Uh, I was hoping to read something. I'm not sure I'll be able to fall asleep tonight otherwise."

"Of course," she smiles. "What do you usually read?"

"Oh, well, anything, really. But I'm afraid I don't know any of these books."

"Ah, I see. Well, how about this?" she suggests, leading you back over to the book you had been looking at. "This is a good book, it'll give you an understanding of our world and some of its history. Maybe you'll learn something. If not, at least you'll be entertained."

"Thanks," you say with a polite smile. "I'm sure I'll like it."

"Great. Please let me know if there's anything else I can help you with," she says, returning the gesture.

"I will, Professor," you say before walking out. Typically, you'd sit in the library, but after that ghost scare you'd like some time alone in your room.

That night, as you're reading your book, your brother knocks on the door. When he walks in, he approaches you in bed with a piece of paper. "What's that?" you ask curiously.

You watch as the words on the page move around and sparkle. "It's a list of your classes," James says just as you begin to realize that.

"Are they serious? Potions? Herbology? I can't do any of that," you say as you put the paper down to look at him.

"It's assisted. That means that the professor will guide you. Besides, you'll have time to learn this stuff."

"James," you sigh, sitting up in bed. "I'm not a wizard. How do they expect me to learn these things?"

"You'd be a witch, Y/N. You're a woman," he smirks.

"I'm not a fucking witch. And neither are you."

"Hey," he chuckles, grabbing your hand. "Look, it'll be okay. We're in this together. Besides, Headmaster Black told me that you can be taught."

"But... what does that mean?"

"It means you'll learn. It may be slow, but I've been assured that it's possible. It's not all about casting spells and waving your wand around. There's plenty of potion making, herbology, and charms work involved. It's not all about magic. Trust me, I'm the professor and I have no clue."

"Not that I'd be use to having a big stick around back home either," you say. "So I guess it's not that much different."

"Exactly," James nods. "Besides, if all goes wrong, you can always use the knowledge you have of our world and apply it in the class. That way, they can't dock you points for being new."

"Thanks, James," you smile as you look back at your class list. Potions (assisted), Herbology (assisted), Muggle Studies, Defense Against the Dark Arts (Adapted), and Magical Artifacts Studies. You groan. "This is going to be a long semester."

"You can do it, Y/N," he says, patting the top of your head and then reaching into his pocket. "Look, Matilda gave me this. It's a magical map of the school."

"God, you've never sounded this dumb," you laugh as he unfolds it for you.

"Shut up," he says, elbowing you. "What else am I supposed to call it?"

"Where are we?" you ask, looking at the large castle on the parchment.

"The castle is Hogwarts. This," he says, pointing at a tower, "is where we are. Even though we can't use magic ourselves, we can use items like this to help us."

"Sounds like the people here like to stalk each other," you snort, looking at all the dots moving around.

"They don't know where we are," James assures you. "We're not listed. The map was designed so the staff can keep track of students and their movements. But since you don't have a wand or any magic, you can't be tracked by the map."

"Huh, cool," you nod. "Thanks James."

"No problem, Y/N," he smiles at you. "I'm proud of you for staying open to all of this. I know it's a big change but I think it'll be good for us."

"I'm trying my best," you reply, putting the list down and getting back under the covers. "But it's a lot."

"Get some sleep," James tells you, placing a kiss on your forehead. "I'll turn the light out for you."

"Thanks," you sigh as you let your eyes close. "Night, James."

"Goodnight, Y/N."

Serpents and Roses

[unicornstar222]

I think of my sadness a lot as mentioned In book :"the power of now", we cause our own pain so what if all the misery I am In is created by me what if the f In my math exam isn't that big of problem? I did try my hardest and I know sadly I can never stop trying and as much as I crave to just give up sadly its not me im not this person if I can describe myself a hard worker who has to work hard cause its never enough a fun personality that no one manage to notice till half of our friendship a someone you meet and you forget about after the friendship ended and I am here always laying down thinking of every friend I made since kindergarten I still think of the teacher that taught me In first grade I still think of my teacher In fifth grade who told me im failure is she right? what would she think of me failing In math again and again like the dumbest person to ever exist god im suffering In my own created misery that I will never manage to escape it cause I created it without making an exit so im stuck here mad but who cares my madness only made me suffer more and no amount of support can actually help so again people ask me Linda im sorry what can I do for you and my answer will always be nothing and my dumbass gets left alone which is the worst btw being alone fucking sucks but also I want it ? and also if I go to my math professor she gives me same exact words how did you fail and all I think of is crashing her laptop In her head cause maybe then she will get that I reached my fucking limits I can't give more this is all I have im done him literally finally done and I cant I cant as kid I was so excited to be an adult I saw it easy yk just sunshine and happiness how do I manage to ruin it for myself.

[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

[curseofaphrodite]

school opened and here's the tea.

My situationship with the guy i tutored (let's call him P) is literally the worse thing in the world. Bc literally we've been talking all summer and he can't even bother to acknowledge me in school. Like, i helped you with school and tutored you for english and did everything you asked me to. I just asked him how his summer was and he didn't even reply, i asked the second time and nothing. i waved to him and said hello at the train station cause why not, P literally looked into my eyes for a whole 2 seconds and just walked away like what??

My old situationship (why do i have so many) who told me that he isn't interested in dating became overly friendly with me like what-. he started asking questions about my trip to france which i have never told him about before so i was creeped out af. Then he asked for my help to open his locker when his best friend was standing right there like what games are you trying to play? you rejected me and now youre being like this? AND HE BOUGHT ME A SMOOTHIE DURING LUNCH- im so confused what's happening rn bc other ppl started calling me his gf and its really awkward bc im in the same business studies class as his ex (who's like literally the bitchiest person i know).

And my math teacher literally picked on me for my anxiety today and i was just trying to answer his question. like stop. fr.

anyways gonna sign off bc i got homework- byeee

P sounds like a dick omg i hope he steps on a lego. i suppose it is probable that he didnt recognize u?? i like that explanation more than him being a jerk cause if he's one then im gonna have to call my lawyer and sue him.

okay the other situationship creeps me out too like dem now hes showing interest in u??? and ppl calling u his gf is sus yes

i will sue ur maths tr dw

and ur homework

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hello Dani.

I wish I were here with some cute Malec fan arts to show you instead of what I'm about to say. But I'm not. I guess I just need to talk to someone. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. You don't have to answer me. I guess the fact that I was comfortable enough to tell you these helps me enough. To at least know that I'm no longer the only person who knows these anymore. To know that it isn't a secret I have to bare alone. Cause I'm fucking tired of it.

Ok, here's the thing. Here, in my country, students attend a national exam at the end of elementary school. Just before entering middle school, at 11. The results of this test show whether you can enter some special schools that are built to guide and educate the students who got accepted. The students society thinks are smarter than the others. As far as I can remember, I knew I should take that test and get accepted. When I was a child my mother told me about a long time ago, when she and my father were at high school. My father had wanted to become a doctor at the time. He'd tried and studied hard and eventually gotten accepted at the medicine school. But back then, it had been very important for the students studying important majors at university- like medicine- to have a good social image and other people's opinion about them mattered a lot. And at that time, my father's family had had some kind of quarrels and fights going on with some neighbor families, and thus when those people were asked about my father personality, they've talked shit about him and he got rejected. He had to become a teacher instead. I was just a child back then, but even as a child, I could see how my father always yearned for what he'd lost. The way he talked about how good of a job it is, how doctors can help people a lot, and how if I'm smart and hardworking enough, I can become a doctor one day. Long story short, from a very young age, every one told me that I was intelligent and should become a doctor. It would make my family and my family name proud and I knew it. So I tried, I studied and I got accepted at that special schools at 11( cause it has always been part of the path I was shown ). I not only got accepted, but also got the best marks at the test in the town. That day was the only day I remember my father looked very proud of me. I always did good at the exams, but there was always something lacking for them, like, although I become a top student, I didn't become the best, or although I became the best, some of my marks still could be better. So there was always some criticism waiting for me, no matter what result I gained. The only time that there wasn't any, was that one time that I got accepted in those special schools at 11. That day I only saw appreciation. After that, I always kept trying but I guess I was never hardworking enough. My parents used to say it was because I couldn't put my complete focus on studying. Because I used to draw, and play soccer, and also attend English classes. I loved all of those activities, but I dropped all of them when I entered highschool. Because everyone said they were distracting me from my purpose that was becoming a doctor. That I needed to study biology and math and not waste my time with arts and sports. So I did it. And I was ok with it, or at least I thought I was. Untill I wasn't anymore. Until suddenly this pandemic started one year and a half ago, and I no longer could go to school. And I started struggling to keep up with my lessons and studying. I understood that I didn't enjoy it, it had become like a chore. I didn't understand how much my friends, my teachers and my school meant to me and how much it affected my willingness to studying till I lost it. And it took me even longer to find out the reason I needed them so much. And I hate that reason. I totally hate it. But it was true. I needed school because they gave me the appreciation and approval I always yearned for. I found out that one of the reasons I studied well was that I liked everyone appreciating me. I like the looked of awe in their eyes when I solved math problems or when I answered a biology question no one knew of. And I no longer had those. I was all alone with my family, since school were closed. And I knew- I know- my family loves me, but their tactics for helping someone or something get better has always been criticizing the wrong things, instead of praising the good parts. And it helped, or it used to do, at least. But just as long as I got the praise and approval I needed from the others. But I didn't

get them anymore cause I was all alone with my family now. I just had them. And the criticism become harder and unbearable. Studying was like a burden, a chore. And it didn't help that with the whole staying home situation, I had more time to think and I realized how long it had been since last time I drew anything. Or played soccer. Or read my favorite novels. I realized I never once stopped to think about what I wanted to do. My life path had always been described for me. I'd always known what I was supposed to do, or what I was supposed to be. But I was no longer sure if it was what I wanted. And I was confused and lost and absolutely terrified. I didn't know what to do. Whether to continue my path, or change it. I tried to speak to my parents. But they didn't get it. They didn't get why I was suddenly hesitating and told me I was just ruining all those years of trying, for nothing. So I stopped talking about it. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't help feeling like I've always lived for others. Like, why the hell should I need my teachers and classmates appreciating and praising me? Why should not having that anymore make studying boring for me?? Why did I never thought about my future as a choice, not something that was always set to happen?! I was angry at myself but most of all, I was lost, I didn't know what the hell to do. And no one could understand me, so when my parents asked me how I was preparing myself for the national exam of universities acceptance, I lied. I lied and told them I was doing ok, while I totally wasn't. I couldn't tell them, I didn't want them to blame me, cause I blamed myself enough. I hoped it will get better by the time. But it didn't. Everyone thinks I'm a fucking Christopher Lightwood, while honestly, I'm more a Alastair Carstairs.

And now, here am I, not knowing what the hell to do. The exam for universities acceptance is in less than a month and a half. I know I still have time, but I no longer know what I want to do. And I no longer believe in my abilities. I think my parents were right, I think I just wasted my time hesitating and questioning myself. Maybe becoming a doctor doesn't make me happy, but isn't it worth it?? That at least it is what my father wanted for me all along? That I can at least make my family happy and proud?? Cause I don't know what makes me happy. And now, it's too late to think about it and find out. Cause I'm scared to find out. I'm scared that I make my family disappointed, like I made myself disappointed. I'm afraid it's too late and no matter what I do, I'm gonna make them disappointed. That while everyone thinks I'm gonna get accepted at the best medicine school, I won't get accepted at all. I wasted so much time questioning everything. If only I continued my path, at least my family would be happy. But now, I'm terrified that I make them disappointed and remain unhappy myself. Cause even if I was living a lie, even if I one day got up and see I didn't like my life, at least I still had a life. A life in which nobody had expectations from me any longer. And even if I didn't like my life, I was at least alone to do whatever I want with it. But at the moment, I just want to become a doctor, and pay off what I've always felt I owe my family. My father. That was the only thing he ever wanted from me. ( And it pays handsomely, sure. It's just, I was never sure if I enjoy doing it, not just its payment.)

But I'm now terrified that I've ruined my chance for even having this. I think I should've never questioned my life. It didn't help that I found out I wasn't happy. I can't help but think I fucked everything up. I always tried to be open to changes. To be brave, just like Alec was. But how can I do that when I don't know what I want? How can I even choose another job when I was practically raised to become a doctor since forever? How can I change my path when I sacrificed lots of things that I loved for it?? All those soccer games I didn't attend, all those drawings I didn't draw, just to have time to study! How can I do it?? And what if my family was always right, that becoming a doctor is best for me? What if I've had fucked up my chance of becoming a doctor even??

And more than anything, I'm tired of keeping all that a secret. I feel guilty as hell whenever I see my parents cause I lied to them, and it's making it all hard to breathe. I'm really really tired. I'm lost. What am I supposed to do? What should I do???

Hello, darling.

Thank you for trusting me with this. I'm glad you wanted to talk to someone. Whatever you feel, it's out now. You no longer have to worry this is a secret. I hope that helps you a little. I hope it lightens the burden you carry on your shoulder.

As always, I cannot tell you what to do. It's your life - something I do remind yourself more often. It helps. I promise.

But I can tell you what I think.

1. I think you are very smart. Like VERY smart. So, if you are worried about changing your academic course or career path, I would say you have nothing to worry about. If you can study biology, trust me, you can find your way through any other subject. It's nothing to be afraid of. Every subject is hard. But you seem like a relentless little fighter to me. So, you will figure it out.

2. I think the reason your father wants you to be a doctor is because he still feels the pain of not achieving his dream. If he doesn't enjoy teaching, then he knows what it's like to live a life of regret. Your father wants to spare you from that. But irony is cruel. Because that very effort has pushed you into the same path. I think someone *cough* you *cough* needs to remind your father that even if you become a doctor, you will not be happy. And while your parents might not be able to see it clearly as you do, it's what they want too. Success doesn't necessarily mean happiness. So, maybe you should tell your father that. Tell him that even if you become a doctor, it wouldn't make you happy. So, despite all their prayers and efforts, your parents would still fail. Because you would be living a similar life as your father had to.

3. One and a half month sounds like a very short time. But here is the thing. I feel like if you put your mind to it, you can get through this exam. But what about your heart? Where does it want to be? What does it want to do? For me, it doesn't sound like a problem of "can I do this?". Yes, you can. It's more a question of, "do I want to do this?". I don't know the answer to that. You are smart. Figure it out.

4. The best advice I've gotten in life is this "do what makes you happy." I know that many don't have the luxury of following that advice in every possible way. But you have the chance. do it. If something or someone is bringing you unhappiness, you should have the liberty to say "no fuck off." It takes a lot of courage to look at something and say 'no'. We haven't been taught to say that enough. Learn to say 'no'. If you take away anything from this response, it should be that.

5. You don't owe anyone anything. Just so you know. Not your family. Your parents. Not your school. No one. Nothing. But you owe it to yourself to be happy.

6. I have met many people like your father - and perhaps yourself - who have told me that "I couldn't follow my dreams. But when I have a child one day, I will do everything in my power to make sure they get to achieve their dream". It's truly a beautiful sentiment. But all I can think is...If it's possible for us to fight for an unborn child of ours, then why can't be fight for ourselves. If we are willing to fight in the future, then why not now?

I know you want your parents to be happy. I know you don't want to let them down. I know a lot of us think that way. So I ask - Why can't we show the kindness we are willing to show the ones we love to ourselves?

7. I don't know what you are going to do either, my love. But I know you will survive. So, even if these words get washed away and even if the confidence you feel is momentary and even if you end up taking the exam and do biology, I hope you remember that it is never, ever, ever too late to choose yourself. To follow your dreams. To stand up and say no.

8. You told me you are more like Alastair. So, I'll leave you with this.

"If you choose that for yourself, it is your choice, but you cannot choose for me”

All my love,

Dani x.

[kate-read-that]

Everyone knows there's two groups in Scott's town: bikers and players. On one hand, bikers are a mess to be around: always looking for trouble, making noise, partying all over the city.... a mess. Th issue is, most have good grades and know enough about machines and motors and such to give classes to the mechanics from town.

On the other hand, players are nice looking, kind hearted, smart boys that never make a fuss and are always there to help the community however they can. Most are football players, runners and basketball players or all of those at the same time. They're a charm to be around, if you're lucky enough to get in their circle.

"Welcome to Pop's, please sit wherever, its early yet" says Peter to his friends, careful to keep equilibrium on his rollers.

"Thanks Mr, we'll take the same table we usually do" Steve laughs and goes sit at their usual table with the rest.

Serving the table next to them, pretty blond looks at Peter with adoration.

"Is Claire still trying to get you to ask her out, Peter" MJ asks, fully knowing the answer already. Peter whines.

"I've tried to discourage her in a million ways! I'm bi, but I'm not interested in her, I dont know why she doesnt get it!"

"Man shes hot and funny, what is there not to be interested about?" Sam asks, one broe arched in disbelief.

"If you like her, ask her out! That'll get her off me" Peter begs while writing down their orders, even thought theres no need.

They always order the same food and wait until Peter finishes his turn to go so something around the city, and tonight's no exception, until new company arrives.

The door opens to Tony S., major douchebag of the city, and his friends, the major dumbasses, Nat, Clint and Bucky B. Peter's friends instantly look awkward and pissed, and the other persons in the diner look at Tony's and his friends with dread. Who know what they might be up to. The fact that they cant be thrown off high school because his amazing grades pisses off a lot of people.

Peter swallows and calms himself. He hopes Tony wont cause problems in the diner, because that's the last thing he needs and tmhe really doesnt want to kick anyone out. Besides, he isn't sure how he would kick them out if he had to.

Despite his nervousness, he rolls to them and smiles politely: " Welcome to Pop's, please sit wherever, today is not as full"

"What about you sit on my lap, darling?" Tony claimed he was bi a long time ago; more than claimed, he was caught having sex with some guy under the major's statue. Peter counts to five so he doesnt reply to that.

"Choose whatever table you want, I'll go serve you right now" he then turns around to give the cooker his friends orders, hoping he doesnt look too startled.

Tony usually mocks them in high school, and they mock right back, but he has never said anything sexual to him. It's strange, thinking of him that way, like someone you can have sex with. Peter shakes his head and rolls back to Tony's table.

Nat and Clint are too busy signaling at each other to notice he's there, and Bucky is checking something on the other side of the diner. Peter is too shy to say something when no one is paying attention, so he waits until Tony tells his friends to shut up and order already because they're making Parker loose his time.

Peter looks at him surprised, but smiles and starts taking notes. Clint has a little bit problem to order, because his deaf and his parents couldnt teach him to talk until he got in school, but he manages. Peter likes Clint, he's nice and seems a good person, but he doesnt understand why he mixes with the rest.

Nat is adopted and she's always in trouble for this thing or the other, she's always quiet but when she talks is like she's always trying to test you, somehow. Bruce had to give her math classes for a while and he said she's actually not that bad, but she still scares Peter.

Buckys parents are cool, they let him leave alone, which sounds incredible, but hes always argues with teachers and missing class, and hes always inappropriate and rude to people.

And Tony's parents are as rich as it gets, but they like to live away from big cities so they're here until tony graduates. Peter doesn't know much about them, except that they no longer pick Tony up when he gets arrested so one of the members of their staff does it. His uncle Sam is a cop, and he says theres nothing sadder than parents that dont care about his son enough to get mad at him.

So Peter tries to be kind to them, but it's so hard when all they do is mock him and his friends. Besides, Tony always has the expression, like he's to good for everyone else! It drives Peter mad.

"I'm going to have the Burguer 6, with chips and a piece of that ass" Tony pretends to read seriously from the menu, but his friends dont laugh. Peter's tired of the jokes, but he needs the job and Tony is not going to ruin this for him.

"Sure thing, dude, maybe when hell freezes. What else?" The others do laugh this time, to Peter's confusion, and order their meals.

.....

"Dude he absolutely hates you" Bucky seems to find this hilarious, even though hes Tony's best friend and he should support him, dammit!

"Of course he had to wear shorts, not like I could keep my mind straight or something" Tony moans, watching Peter roll away like the cute doll he is.

"You're like an animal dude" Clint says, little sloppy but understandable.

"Pathetic" Adds Nat, as if Tony needed confirmation of the screw up.

"And besides, since when is your mind straight?" Bucky laughs at his own joke, like the idiot he is, Tony thinks, while checking the other side of the diner again.

"At least I dont stalk Rogers from here like some kind of pervert" Tony smiles wide at Bucky's affronted face, blushing and frowning. "Whatever".

"Dude, just tell him you're into him and ask him on a date, this suave shit is not your style" Clint signs, too tired to try and talk. Tony signs back "Suave is totally think you jerk!"

"Not when you care" Nat interrupts as direct as always, looking seriously at him. "Food here is good but if you did yourself a favor and went straight to it we wouldnt have to come here and hear you whine"

"Straight?" Bucky chimes again, entertained. Nat hits him in the back of the head "Idiot."

"I will, alright? I will"

Rught then, Peter comes back with their drinks and Tony leans back.

"I dont know what I like the most, you coming to me in those cute rolls or you going away in that killer short"

All his friends look at him exasperated, and Tony cant believe he actually said that to Peter. Hes never going to get a date with his cheesy fucking lines.

But Peter laughs. Not a big laugh, okay, but a short, cute one that he tries to hide.

"Maybe youd like me better without both, huh Tony?" He leans towards Tony a little, his hand on Tony's shoulder for a second.

Hes gone just as fast as he came, leaving the whole table shocked.

Tony knows he should close his mouth, but he cant believe Peter Parker just legit flirted back at him. What the hell? He needs a cold shower right now, and his friends need to stop looking at him.

"Did you pay him to say that or something" Tony knows Bucky is trying to be funny, but truth is he cant explain that act either, and when he looks at Nat and Clint for help, they're just staring at him like a third head just grew out.

...

Peter is hyperventilating.

"I cant believe I flirted back. What the hell is wrong with me?" His friends are looking at him like he just told them he likes to dance hula naked in december, and Peter cant blame them

"Huh, maybe the fact that you've had the hots for him for years?"MJs voice cuts the air. Peter looks at her in disbelief.

"I have not! He's arrogant and careless and despective and rude and..."

"And hot and intelligent and funny, in your opinion" MJ adds, smiling "I've seen you laugh at his jokes when you think no one is watching, and you cant deny hes hot and smary"

"Maybe you should date him"

"Dont be ridiculous, I'm leaning to girls in this period of my life. And he's into you, not me"

Peter couldnt believe MJ. He did not have the hots for Tony, and Tomy was not funny, not all the time anyway, and Tony Stark was not into Peter in any way, shape or form.

And yet he had felt so good flirting with him. Seeing his amazement when Peter had answered. For once, Tony was not in control of everything and playing his jokes, he was shocked.

And Peter did that to him.

So Peter decided, what the hell, let's try this out. If he ends up being an asshole, my friends will kick his ass for me.

"If you like him, go ahead, but he looks like too much trouble for me" Steve said, looking worried. He and Bucky had been childhood friends, but they bad separated later in life and Steve didn't like to be close to him or his friends, Tony included.

"Yeah, and if he's a jerk to you well talk to him" Sam smiled threatingly, clapping his hands.

"Nat is really nice to be around when you meet her" added a blushing Bruce, who had been crushing on the ginger since they met but was way too shy to say or do anything.

Peter kept working until he had to deliver Tony's food. He tried not to show he was nervous and he definitely didnt check his ass before going out the kitchen with the food.

"Number 6,8,12, and 3 for you guys, with chips for everyone and a piece of ass for Anthony" he looked at Tony intently, trying to guess his reaction. For a second Stark just stranded there, shocked, until he slapped Peter's ass so strongly all the diner turned around. Or maybe it was because Peter had let out the loudest moan a boy his size could produce.

Peter thought he was going to kill himself. What was that?? One thing is flirting,but that? He was so losing his job. Trying to keep as much dignity as he could, he said "That's more than a piece, and it hurt, you idiot" and he turned around and left, head high and eyes burning from shame.

....

Tony was going to kill himself.

"Dude, what the fuck? He was kidding you dumbass" Bucky, again, was laughing at him. Although this time Tony couldnt blame him, fuck it. What the hell was that?? It's not like Peter's bubble butt didnt deserve one or two good slaps, but Peter worked there!

On the other hand, how could have Tomy anticipated that Peter was going to react like that? That moan could have brought people from the death, nd it certainly brought some of Tony's parts as well.

"It seemed like he liked it" Nat said, like she was reading Tony's mind. She was trying to keep herself from laughing, while Clint signaled that he was scarred for life.

Tont got up without knowing what he was doing. People weren't looking directly anymore, but he knew they were still totally focused on his movements. He got in the staff room without problems. Apparently Claire was too shocked to say nothing about it.

As soon as he got in he saw Peter, sitting in a corner, head buried on his lap.

"Dude what the hell? Are you alright?" Tony rushed to him scared. Peter just laughed.

"You're kidding? I'm si getting fired after that. What the fuck, man? In which world is that an appropriate way of flirting?"

"So we were flirting?" Tony wanted to confirm, and he realized now he sounded like an ass.

"Oh my god you slapped my ass but you dodnt know we were flirting? Dude! You're all class arent you?" Peter frowned at him.

"Didnt seem like you cared" Tomy knew he was being a dick, but he couldnt help it when Peter was right there, all long legs and blushed and nervous and biting his goddamn lip making it even redder than usual. If possible, Peter got even more red. "I liked that a lot, but that doesnt mean you can do it in my job, you idiot"

"What about my place? When you finish here?" Tony knew he was going to be totally rejected after that but he had to try, right?

"Ah, no, I'm not letting you win after that. You're taking me on a date first, and if you behave I'll let you take me to your place and well see what happens" Peter said, knowing full well he was going to be ditched.

"Deal"

"Wait, you sirious?" Peter opened his eyes in disbelief.

"What, you're not?" Tony arched his brow.

"I am, I am. Okay, deal"

"Can I ask you something, before I leave?"

"What?"

"Would you wear those shorts to our date?"

[pictures-from-the-universe]

Yesterday, in school, I get one of these (don't know how to call them). So I know from the beginning on that something goes defently wrong. I was very tired and I just wrote an latin test at first and then a latin vocabulary test, without break. Then we had biology and it was a little bit funny, because they were only 6 students and the teacher make jokes with us and the lesson was waaaaays better then the bio lessons before. I can't think really about what they try to teach me but I understand it anyways, cause (I think about writing ,,cause" instead of ,,because" in my posts) I heared the most things before and had only to remember them. So I wasn't really there in the lesson but after the break it getting even more worse. At the beginning of the math lesson, I lay on the tables in the back until the teacher told me to sit down (this doesn't affect me anymore, because (sorry I like this word more) it happens to often and I know how to handle with it). So I sit down and try to concentrate, but there was nothing I can connect with. I want to talk about prime numbers and that 1037 isn't a prime number at itself but can only ÷ with 1;17;61;1037. So a of them are prime numbers and after my opinion they should be a new number category for numbers that can only ÷ by prime numbers. You want to know why 1037? I don't know why, I try to jump again in the nebulae of numbers (this isn't a joke, there is actually a nebulae when I search numbers in my head) and try to find one prime number and then the 1037 was there and I know that this cannot happen but then I googled and jeah, its 17*61. A number made out of prime numbers. It seems that they are everywhere. I start to calculate every number I see and made a prime number out of it and it makes a lot of fun for me.

So back to the math lesson and how I feel. Easily sayed, there was a wall around my mind and I cannot connect with anything or anyone. I can't really speak with the other students but I still hear what they say and sometimes I have to laugh inner, because I like her jokes but I can't laugh ,,with" them. There was no connection between us or the whole word. I feel very lonely, like no one can touch me. Even one girl besides me start to pet (caress/stroke ???) me softly it feels strange. Another boy touch me, not much time before, and I hate it. I can't say it at the moment it happened, but god I hate when someone touch me without asking or without beeing soft. So it relaxed me a bit but still feel strange. Then I fall asleep for like 15 minutes (also not seldom, I mean it's the evening school not the ,,good morning after a night full of sleep"-school) and after I woke up it feels like I lost my personality. I don't know what to do or to say and I know where I am but It feels like a very bad simulation (more worse than at the beginning) I try to do something but without a personality it can be very hard to decide what to do, so I after a while I go to toilet and when I come back I miss an important part of the lesson, but I look at them and understand them anyway. The teacher just say how we should remember the rule after we draw the f(x)= x³ or x⁵,⁷,⁹... But doesn't say on what reason the rule build on. So jeah the rule is easy but don't want to write a about this term now (Term or theme or topic? I use more exotic english words, because my post are getting more complicated and I like it that I learn english but I only have google translater).

After the school everybody ask me what's going on with me but I don't really answered them or give just little signs so they stop to talk to me. They also talk to each other about me and the only thing I think was ,, I just won't to talk with anybody". Then, luckly, one girl of my class put me a little bit out of the group and say to the others that I want to be alone and that it is okay. She drove with me near to my home (same way home after school) and talk with me and I answered sometimes or say things at my own. She say again that it is okay wanting to be alone and it helped a lot. We talk to each other an laugh and even when I touch sometimes the train wall, to check if he's real, I don't feel jugded by her. So the feeling doesn't change, but I feel a little bit better.

So I go home and draw the picture of the fire nation (you can see it in my last post) and it helped also. Drawing (and it doesn't matter how it looks!!!!!) Is always relaxing. I try very seldom to draw things after her characteristics/property to break and reflect electromagnetic waves. Most times I try to draw the picture of my feelings and how I see the world, so jeah the first impulse what to draw was how I feel im school and I start with the blackboard and put strange symbols on it, I see somewhere before and then I try to imagine a story behind all this.

Today I make the ship you see at the top after work and it relaxes me even more. Sometimes I stay after work at my workplace to build something like that. It's possible because I work at the kindergarten and we have a little workshop, where I make often things with the kids.

I let them in the kindergarten to show it to the kids and maybe we make more of them and I can show them how to safe energy whit hair gummies and use them for a drive. I know that the ,,weapon" at the bug isn't so educational for them, but I want to catch the attention of one kid with interest in weapons and try to convert them into something else.

Another thing that helped me to ,,come back" to reality is to play with the kids. It ALWAYS cools me down and nothing sounds happier than kids who are laughing.

It can need days to ,,rebuild" the normal situation around me, after meltdowns like this but in this case it goes faster, because of all the people who helped me. I'm very thankful for them and for what they do to me, not only the one I wrote in this post, but all the many others, who shares food with me in class, bring me beer in school when I'm asking not even seriesly in the class chat (only happened one time but it was an special day) or talk to me when I'm sad, too.

Here are some other examples what I am do at work. So the ship I do for myself, because I remembered at my childhood and the ship made then, but I wasn't happy withy own work so I just repeat it and now I'm happy with my boat.

The castle was made, because I try to teach the kids not only use white dinA4 sheets for their art, but also use nearly everything they're have.

The dinosaurs are for one kid that plays (at this time) nothing else. He says dinosaurs all the time and I try to find a way for him, to make something for his interest. So it worked (I also give him some dinosaur 🦖 figures and show him where in the books are the dinosaur 🦕 pictures) and many other kids want to do the same. It pleased my a lot that they actually like the impulses I give them and that they make her own thinks out of them. (One girl sayed that he make a dinosaur land at home and make like 3 of them).

So at last it helps also a lot to come out of some sort situations, that you say, maybe just to you own, for what you are thankful and then think about why and what would pleasure you when it happened (not only thinks like ,, I won't be sad/depressed anymore" or ,, I want a better life and be more happy" but also ,,a ice cream", ,,I want to see Harry Potter/Lord of the rings again", ,,I would make me happy, when someone say to me that he likes me and it makes me even more happy when this person knows me and say it anyway" or maybe just ,,tenderness").

So I hope I helped someone (oh jeah, I helped myself and that makes me actually feel better) and wish you a good night 🌃🌉

Bye❤️🦖

[punkscowardschampions]

School Project | Janis & Jimmy

Asia: I literally can't find any songs from 1916 wtf 😟😞 what are we going to do??! Daniel: Did they even have radio then? Asia: idk let me google it 🤔 Daniel: pretty sure they didn't, some kind of teacher joke, like Asia: omg it's really old though look! Asia: [sends him a link about when radio was invented] Janis: yeah the songs don't have to be from the time Asia: ?? that sounds so fake are you sure? Janis: 'Create a soundtrack for a movie version of the 1916 Easter Rising. Use songs from any era and genre but they must describe the mood and/or details of the event. Explain why you feel that each song matches the event.' Jimmy: 👍 Asia: oh 👌 Janis: feel free to go 'round the pubs and ask if any of the old fellas remember decent rebel songs from the time Asia: OR there's literally been like TV about it we can just 👀 what they used Asia: like get Liam Neeson chatting away and put a 🎵 over it 🙄 Janis: I doubt RTE could afford decent royalties Janis: not at all offensive to put it to elevator music, like Daniel: yeah, me mam watched that, it was crap Jimmy: Let's face it, weren't gonna be a patch on Taken 3 Daniel: [sends the 'I will find you-' gif] Daniel: Classic Asia: [sends the Taken 3 soundtrack whatever that is] Jimmy: properly sets the scene that Janis: Wow, it's like they stole the plot verbatim Janis: Wonder if you're the first person to 👀 that, Asia Asia: I like haven't even seen the movie though Asia: I'll take your word for it, babes Asia: cos of course YOU have Janis: 🤯 your mind, babes Janis: ask Dan here, it's a classic Daniel: Truuuuu Asia: 💙 Liam but like I'm so adhd I can't even Jimmy: and here I thought we had something special, girl 💔 Asia: ??! Jimmy: don't trouble your beautiful 🧠 Daniel: 😏 we'll leave, yeah? Janis: Reckon they've got it covered Asia: OMG! 🤫🤫🤫 I've got a boyfriend, new boy, can you NOT Jimmy: 💔 obvs Jimmy: he is that you 👀 more of me than you do of him, but alright Janis: long as you channel that 💔 into your song choices, we'll all survive Janis: just Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 🥧 Asia: 🙄🙄 Asia: wall to wall Taylor 💔😢🎵 any era of hers tbh Janis: yeah, London Boy would be well fitting Janis: what Taylor song is your favourite, Dan? Daniel: errm, I dunno Daniel: don't really rate her Asia: 😱😱😱😱 Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 Janis: this is the level of dramatic we're aspiring to, lads Jimmy: if any lass would marry someone right before they get 💀💀💀 Janis: new take on the break-up song Jimmy: bad blood was obvs written with all this bollocks firmly in mind Jimmy: Katy Perry who Janis: she has a boyfriend, mate Janis: you've been told Asia: !!! Janis: v you belong with me, am I right Asia: don't encourage him ugh Jimmy: 💧🎸 Janis: 😏 Janis: babes, he's incorrigible Asia: is that a 1916 word? wow Janis: I'm method Jimmy: 💔 for you we ain't gotta do a 🎭 Janis: my lack of exposure is a tragedy for another day Daniel: what do we actually have to do though? Daniel: still don't get it Jimmy: 'Create a soundtrack for a movie version of the 1916 Easter Rising. Use songs from any era and genre but they must describe the mood and/or details of the event. Explain why you feel that each song matches the event.' Daniel: yeah thanks mate Daniel: Janis, you seem to get it, you come explain it to me so I can catch up with these 2 Asia: she's NEVER had a boyfriend, Dan 😉 Daniel: What's that got to do with anything, like Asia: 🤭🤭 okay boy we all 👀 you Daniel: Shut up, Asia Asia: RUDE Daniel: I'm just trying to get this done, but you've just made me more confused Asia: aw babes Asia: just pick some songs from your gym playlist Janis: I'll do it, send you copies, don't worry Jimmy: you're alright, I need to pass this Janis: Yeah, so do I Janis: and I don't need this Jimmy: I'll do it Jimmy: the rest of you piss off Janis: What do you even know about it Jimmy: You're a expert, are you? Janis: I've been here longer than 5 minutes Jimmy: dumb and dumber have an' all, they don't have a clue Asia: UM excuse you! be more bitter that I won't go out with you, new boy! Janis: Christ Janis: we can't have multiple versions or we'll fail for not working together Asia: duh so let's work together Janis: OR let the one person who actually gets it do it and you get to crayon your name on at the end, alright Jimmy: Now that's agreed, I'll crack on Janis: Yeah, 64 is a LOT of colours to pick from Janis: have fun Jimmy: so funny, you Jimmy: get a smaller pack, rich girl Jimmy: not everything needs to be a flex Janis: 12? Janis: Gutted for you Asia: Size matters though, babes Jimmy: that's why your boyfriend keeps chatting about your bra size, I get it now Jimmy: Tah babes Asia: what? Jimmy: you heard Janis: as you're all busy here Janis: I'm off to do this project Daniel: I'm not Daniel: you going library, I'll help Jimmy: you heard 'an all, girl Jimmy: you ain't doing nowt Janis: Not to repeat Asia, but you what Janis: And why not, Dan Janis: majority rules Asia: this is SO not cool I have 🔥💡 Janis: And I'm sure Jimmy wants to hear 'em all Janis: see who's playlist ends up better Asia: UGH Janis: no doubt you wanna be on my team so bad Asia: you're being so anti-feminist rn Janis: I don't wanna be on that team either, you're alright Asia: !!! JANIS Asia: you like have to Janis: you can report me to Gloria and co Asia: I'll report you to sir Janis: 😱😱😱😱 Asia: mhmmm that'll be your face when you fail Janis: you've got the most experience there Janis: and I've got valid reason not to work with you Asia: no you don't Asia: pms isn't a valid reason Janis: don't let the feminists hear you Asia: 😑 Janis: yeah, that's what I thought Janis: never mind the lads don't wanna work with you either, you ain't said shit to them, have you Janis: 👌 fake solidarity Asia: I don't need to pass anything this badly EVER 👋 Janis: Toodles Jimmy: Can we focus now you've had your domestic or what? Janis: 💔 sorry I finished what you started, loverboy Jimmy: wrong 🌳 weren't it? Janis: Oh, you like the tall one? Janis: Cool, let's focus Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 🌁🦍 Jimmy: stop flirting with me, lad Jimmy: I get that I'm 💪 but we said we were gonna focus Daniel: Didn't know your taste in hench lasses went that far, but I'm good thanks 😬 Janis: this chat has been nothing but rejection, sad face Jimmy: I'm method an' all Jimmy: Getting the british to fuck off out of it was top, Dan if you need a hand with the whys and wherefores Janis: Imagine that Jimmy: Yeah, gutted you're just a rebel with no cause, sweetheart Janis: Truly, how much tragedy can I withstand Janis: tah for your concern Jimmy: don't keep us in suspense, Dan's got a proper head for figures Janis: so's Asia's lad, let's add him to the chat then Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: go on Janis: Dan, you keep up with what this one is called? Daniel: 🤷😂 Jimmy: throw a 📌 at the map Daniel: Dylann went out with her before but he dumped her 'cos she's psycho Daniel: pity the poor cunt Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: RIP our unknown and fallen brother Janis: we should do 16 songs, for the 16 executions Jimmy: And split it into days Jimmy: somehow Janis: That works Janis: Dan, you do the maths Jimmy: could be first two, middle two and last two, sir is obvs all about the vibe Janis: 👍 Janis: just avoid actual songs about it, 'cos all anyone is going to do is a google and throw them on, like Sir ain't heard the national anthem Jimmy: duh Janis: alright, Asia Janis: nice of you to join us, again Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: protesting a bit hard there, mate Jimmy: we get it, you're method Janis: you might but Dan asked for help Janis: just that nice Jimmy: 👌 Daniel: Now you've stopped talking about old popstars, I get it Janis: See? He gets it Janis: maybe throw in a couple Yankee rebel songs, some fucking Les Mis, yeah, show we do without being #basic Jimmy: A+ Janis: I told you Jimmy: I weren't listening Jimmy: soz Janis: saved yourself some 'work' if you had Janis: your loss, not mine Jimmy: I'll live Janis: 💔 it's not a play again Janis: it'd be great craic to kill you for extra credit Jimmy: have a word with sir, I reckon he'd be about it Janis: I will Janis: all teachers are sadists Jimmy: nowt I can't handle Janis: 🦍💘 Janis: we remember Jimmy: Dan ain't been able to stop thinking about it Janis: 🤤 or 🤮 Dan, what's the truth Daniel: Piss off, I've told new boy I don't fancy lads, or lasses that look like 'em Janis: He can't take a hint, babes Jimmy: I can barely read any of this, there's the truth for you Janis: Heard it does that Jimmy: you catholics Janis: You don't know we're Catholic Janis: RUDE! Jimmy: if it were me all along #plottwist Janis: save it for the play, kid Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: love that spotlight, me Janis: that's not a #plottwist Jimmy: if everything I said were, you wouldn't be shocked, girl Janis: know your audience, I guess Janis: know it's Sir, not me, like Jimmy: nah, he's got the rotten 🍅 already out Jimmy: it's the accent Janis: he's method as well Jimmy: lot of that going about Janis: yeah, everyone is well 🤮 over your accent Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: everyone's well 🎭 is what I meant Jimmy: but tah for that head's up Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I just did do, yeah Janis: 👏 Jimmy: save that for opening night Janis: Not that nice Janis: maybe if you were as helpful as Dan here Jimmy: I get it, you've got your hands full giving him one Janis: 💔 show must go on Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 'least we can get Asia to present to the class now Jimmy: 🥇 she'll do an' all Jimmy: *job Daniel: 😍😍 Jimmy: she's got a BOYFRIEND, Dan Jimmy: sort yourself out Daniel: 😒 Daniel: tell your face Jimmy: no need, you've done it for me Jimmy: Tah, my dear Daniel: you're so weird, new kid Jimmy: 💕 Daniel: I'll message you with any songs I find, okay Janis? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [sends her some songs he's already thought of 'cause we know he's that bitch about music] Janis: [a long enough time to actually listen so you probably think she's not replying] Janis: Yeah, those are alright Janis: [sends own list of a few songs] Jimmy: [again actually listening to them] Jimmy: nowt wrong with them either Janis: so that's 7 down, 9 to go Janis: easy Jimmy: [sends one that he's not sure of so maybe she could find a cover version that sounds better or something cos teamwork baby] Jimmy: ? it's a bit Janis: know what you mean Janis: this [cover] is less ? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: That's alright Janis: we could do some kaiser chiefs or Franz Ferdinand for the WWI refs Jimmy: [songs by them that would work which I'm not googling] Jimmy: We need more lasses on here though Janis: 🥇 feminist, you Jimmy: piss off Janis: alright, I won't put in a good word for you with Asia, calm down Janis: [some punk ladies] Jimmy: she's got a tongue in her head and she never stops using it so you're alright Janis: So I hear Jimmy: and me Janis: Gutted, serious Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: [some different lady bops he likes better than whatever she suggested, bit rude] Janis: Those works too Jimmy: they work better Janis: How Janis: explain your whys and wherefores, tah Jimmy: lyrically Jimmy: in tone Jimmy: and with what else has made the list Janis: Way to be as vague as that prompt, boy Janis: you can have [this] and [that] but I want [this] from my list Jimmy: [a more specific rant about exactly why then because he's that bitch] Jimmy: you can have [song] and [song] from yours Jimmy: we should take out [song from earlier] Janis: Fine Janis: actually write some of that down though, you know Janis: not in this groupchat but where you can get your ⭐ Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: [quick sketch he's done for like cover art number 1] or [2] ? Janis: I prefer the 2nd one Janis: looks more like an album cover to me Janis: though I like [an element of] in the first one so do that too Jimmy: [enough time to have passed that he can do a finished rough sketch of that] Jimmy: I'll chuck you the finished one to colour in, in a bit Jimmy: as you've got more crayons Janis: BCE Janis: don't reckon you'll want your masterpiece ruined Jimmy: if you don't wanna put the work in, I'll do it Janis: I'm just saying, I'm no artist Janis: I'll fake up an ad for a benefit concert, happy? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever, take the compliment Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why not? Jimmy: 1. you ain't my art teacher Jimmy: 2. who the fuck are you? Jimmy: 3. I don't want it Janis: 1. I didn't call you the next Lichtenstein, I just didn't say it was shit Janis: 2. literally irrelevant to working on this project and I'm not trying to tell you or ask who the fuck you are Janis: 3. Ignore it like a normal person then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Jesus, confirm stereotypes much Jimmy: Confirming or denying owt is irrelevant to this project an' all Janis: tell your face Jimmy: your boyfriend already tried that line Jimmy: didn't do nowt for him either Janis: That's it, that's the joke Jimmy: Nah, joke's that you paddys reckon you've got decent craic Janis: some of us prefer subverting stereotypes Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: [the poster ting and some more songs] Janis: that make 16 yet? Jimmy: [sends a few more himself] Jimmy: that does Janis: Hallelujah Janis: x4 that shit and give her a pronunciation guide Jimmy: 👍

[tcportfoliomgj]

Saturday, 5th of June, 2021

"What demon possessed me that I behaved so well? - Henry David Thoreau (1854/2017)

In high school, I wasn't exactly a great student. Or easy, for that matter. Even in primary school, my teacher would call my parents after the first period. During parent-teacher conferences, they would schedule my mom in the last slot, that way they had enough time. I didn't have my diagnosis back then and I was smart enough to keep up without too much trouble. But I did talk back to teachers, especially when I felt they were being unjust. This only got worse in high school.

Before I got my ADHD diagnosis, my high school teachers thought I had ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). I can't blame them, though, especially looking back now. I was very argumentative, I still am, but I'm not always like that. When I felt like things were unfair, I wasn't able to let that go. I had a lot of very authoritarian teachers, who put themselves way above their students. Having authority is one thing, but that doesn't make you more of a person, or a better person, or a more important person. I didn't do well with those kinds of teachers, especially when they also taught a subject that I strongly disliked.

In high school I had a mathematics teacher, let's call him Mr E., who I didn't get along with very well. I never liked math. I wasn't particularly bad at it, but during the first few years of high school I didn't keep up with it very well, so I was behind compared to most students. Mr E. was the kind of teacher that would say things were easy, while I was really struggling with them. We didn't like each other much, and it kept getting worse over the years. It got to the point where he wasn't willing to help me anymore, and I wasn't willing to work anymore. I remember I once missed a class because I was sick and when I asked him to explain something I missed, he said no. He told me to look it up on YouTube and to deal with it myself. I also remember a time where I wasn't willing to do anything, we got into a big argument in front of the whole class and he sent me away. I packed my back, told the class "good luck in here in hell" on my way out and slammed the door shut.

Now, at teachers college, I often joke that I wasn't an exemplary student, but I don't think people realise how difficult I actually was. In my defence, there are still quite some cases I think I was right. I also don't regret standing up for myself against unfair teachers, I just didn't always go about it the right way. There were a lot of incidents in my high school days. I got sent out of class a lot, got a lot of detention and made quite a few enemies. But I wasn't a lost cause, even if Mr E. thought I was. I managed to pass my math exams, even though I stopped attending my math classes during my last year in high school. I was willing to work for teachers who did try their best for me. I loved English, history and art, and the teachers that taught me were very willing to help me, support me and encourage me. They challenged me and engaged me, and so I was very much willing to put in the effort and go the extra mile for them. I felt seen by them and that's all I really wanted, especially during those years in my life.

Mr E. wasn't the only teacher I had a rocky relationship with. My economics teacher, Mr B., didn't exactly get along with me either. He often got angry with me in front of the whole class when I forgot my books and notebooks. This happened a lot. I felt very humiliated, but I turned that into anger and frustration. He knew about my diagnosis and when I tried to explain to him that I really tried not to forget my things, he told me he understood but that I shouldn't forget them anymore. It infuriated me. I didn't feel understood, or seen or acknowledged. As an angsty teen who was dealing with depression on top of her ADHD, it was really hard.

I think almost everyone knows that I struggled with math this year as well and I will admit, I was part of the problem. However, I didn't plan on things turning out like this. As I mentioned before, I struggle with mathematics because there's a lot of gaps in my knowledge. The math classes here at TC and the PABO is mostly about teaching math and not so much about the math itself. It makes it interesting, but also difficult. Because how do you teach a subject you don't fully understand? Or maybe even barely understand? Janneke and Danny would talk about some math exercises for primary schoolers and I would struggle with them. They would say something along the lines of "they're being taught this in group 5" or "it's pretty easy", and in those moments I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. Because I didn't understand, because I struggled, because I felt really stupid. I didn't ask for help, that's definitely my fault, but I also didn't feel very encouraged to ask for help. Lots of students asked questions by sending them emails, and it often happened that Janneke and Danny didn't respond. I was frustrated, but I did try, even though everyone thinks I didn't.

I was at almost every lecture, which is the bare minimum, I know, but something that was actually very hard for me considering being there made me feel quite insecure. I tried to do the assignments. One of the first big assignments was the one where we had to give our own students some math questions without explaining anything to them. Afterwards, we'd have to analyse them. Giving the questions to my students wasn't hard and I didn't mind doing it, seeing some of their answers was really interesting and fun even (appendix 5). When I had to analyse them, however, I began to struggle. I don't hate math, but what frustrates me is that the class isn't very accessible. If you struggle with mathematics, the class will be really challenging.

One of the basic human needs is autonomy (Ryan & Deci, 2002, in Stevens & Bors, 2013, p. 73). However, in a way, autonomy can be seen as a paradox. If you tell a student to be independent and autonomous, and they obey, then they are in fact not being autonomous because they're doing what you told them to do. However, if they do not comply, they continue to be dependent on you. Mariani (1997) approached this subject very well and explains how teachers can promote autonomy. He explains that we need to challenge our students in order to answer their need for autonomy. We support them in order to answer their need for dependence. He then puts this in a framework.

Figure 2. Teaching Style Framework (Mariani, 1997)

The level of autonomy and dependence need to be balanced. A high level of challenge with a low level of support should be avoided. He recalls a moment where he experienced this himself and explains that "the result [...] was anxiety, insecurity, discomfort, and even aggressiveness - not to mention the long-term effect on my self-confidence" (Mariani, 1997). The ideal is a situation with a high level of challenge combined with a high level of support, this way we can create the zone of proximal development (Mariani, 1997). During the math classes, I find myself facing a high level of challenge with a lack of support, and later I discovered I wasn't alone.

I made the decision to not do the math assignments. First of all, I think the subject isn't relevant for quite a lot of students. When I asked my coach why we had math in the first place, she answered that it was mandatory because teachers college is part of the PABO. This isn't very motivating because knowing that it's mandatory doesn't explain why it is. Second of all, this tells us that it is in fact not very relevant for the students who know that they want to continue high school education instead of primary education. I was also told that they scaled up math since last academic year. This is because students in the craftsman phase were lacking knowledge and struggling. Again, this is not very relevant for the students who choose high school education. I understand that I made a choice to do TC, which means experience both levels of education, but we have a significantly high amount of math classes compared to a lot of other subjects.

Secondly, I think the way math is taught isn't in line with teachers college. This also relates to Mariani's framework. At TC we are taught to be better teachers, to support and motivate our students and to be open-minded. Our teachers also play a part in this. What I experience is that the teachers within the core team practice what they preach. I feel like my basic needs are met. I don't feel the same about math and I decided to create a survey (appendix 6). I asked TC students (of all years) to fill it in and 19 of them did. It's not a lot, so maybe not representative for all TC students, but I decided to stop promoting the survey when it caused some commotion (rumours were being spread that it was a survey to get rid of math altogether). But the results of the survey are still very interesting.

Seven out of nineteen students were TC1 students, the other twelve are TC2 or above. Almost all the higher years indicate that they didn't have any assignments or had small ones, but none that involved their internship or took multiple weeks to finish. Nine out of twelve higher years claim that they didn't experience math as stressful at all. Two students found the classes useful. Only one student felt like they had learned something, a few students are neutral in this, but most claim not to have learned much. Most higher years say they do not remember the theory that was taught to them, indicating that the classes weren't even lasting. When asked if they had further comments, many of them said they didn't find the classes meaningful, that they didn't see the value or that they don't remember much from the classes at all. It is clear that they were in one of the low challenge zones, making it either too easy (a low challenge with high support levels) or boring (a low challenge with low support levels).

Now if we take a look at the TC1 students, the answers shift. When asked what kind of assignments they had, they all answer with big assignments that stretched over multiple weeks as well as in-class assignments and presentation. On top of that, it is mandatory for the portfolio (this wasn't the case for the higher years). Five out of seven students experienced the workload as high, the other two were neutral. Six students claim they experienced stress, one is neutral. Some of them do claim to have learned something, or that they experienced it as useful, but I think it's important to remember that for TC1, my year, it is mandatory for our portfolio and so there's more at stake. The workload that TC1 experienced indicated that we're in the high challenge zones. The stress experienced indicated a lack of support, putting us in the anxiety zone.

What did we, as students, do to change this? At first, not a lot, at least not as a collective effort. I know a lot of students email Janneke and Danny with questions or stayed behind after online class but often didn't get answers or help. They experienced low support. When we did come forward as a class, some of us still did not feel seen, or heard. We had a conversation with Janneke and Danny and I experienced it as very frustrating. Just like Mariani (1997), I experienced anxiety, discomfort, insecurity and a level of aggression, the same way I did in high school with Mr E. and Mr B. I felt ready to throw my stuff into my bag and walk out of that room, but I didn't.

Maybe it's closed-minded to not do the math assignments, maybe it even shows a level of disrespect. At the end of the day, I passed my mandatory math test (wiscat) (appendix 7), I learned and did just as much as the students last year (who also passed math) and I refuse to be put in a zone of anxiety when I'm learning, especially when I'm learning how to be a supportive teacher myself.

🎵 ZITTI E BUONI - Måneskin

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: are you EVER coming home or can I officially have your room? Janis: You measuring up already, yeah? Janis: Diego probably a better housemate than the rest, true Grace: his filming set up is 🔥 sooo Janis: 😂 Janis: hauls are defs what he wants his equipment used for Grace: ugh have you seen the bag I was using last time you saw me? I CANNOT find it Janis: Grace, as if I was paying any attention to your bag Janis: left it in Common Grounds maybe? Janis: 2nd time's a charm 😜 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 SO unhelpful babes Grace: OMG no for who? that other one Grace: EW Janis: Gonna say, if you were aiming for Jim he weren't in today so 💔 Grace: I saw the pics I'm aware Janis: Tah for the #engagement then babes 👍 Grace: oh please Grace: like you need it Grace: so the IT couple now 🙄🙄 Janis: You know it Janis: 'til whoever hooks up with whoever's man at the next big party and it's the scandal of the century Grace: obvs Grace: he is a good photographer tho Janis: Yeah I didn't know Janis: he does it at School too Grace: DUH Grace: the teacher loves him Grace: you think you're the only one 😍😍😍 honey Grace: rude awakening Janis: I know I ain't Janis: bitches be blatant 😏 Grace: If that's a dig at me Grace: HOW RUDE Janis: 😂 Janis: Not strictly you but you know you have the subtlety of a brick to the face Grace: OMG Grace: I'm being nice bitch Janis: So am I, bitch Janis: calm down Grace: I told you I cannot Grace: not until I find this bag Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: Surely you've not left it out out, it'll be at one of your friends if not somewhere amongst all your crap Grace: Duh Grace: but if it's at Mia's I'm not going Janis: No? Grace: Ugh Grace: I'm gonna have to change my ENTIRE outfit Janis: Sure she'll send it back in it's own car Janis: might take a dump in it first Grace: CAN YOU NOT Grace: I'm not trying to have a stress skin breakout thank you Janis: Where are you even going if you ain't going somewhere with her Grace: excuse you Grace: I go places Grace: I know you think it's just you now babe Janis: Not on your own you don't, it's too early for a party, too late for shopping 'cos you'd have gone at the crack of dawn Grace: I have a date if ANY of my wardrobe cooperates Janis: Ah Janis: okay Janis: don't you usually get them all 'round to wax your mustache and fry your hair though Grace: OMG do you not listen Grace: I'm not going to get that bitch here to sabotage me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Now why ever would she do that Janis: not our Mia Grace: 'Cause she HATES me rn Grace: duh Janis: You'll kiss and make up tomorrow what's new Grace: You actually do not listen Grace: poor barista boy Janis: You've not said anything??? Grace: I told you before! Janis: You're gonna need to be more specific Grace: She's being a shady bitch about you & this boy Grace: I'm over it Janis: 🙄 Janis: She wanna pipe me or what Janis: she'll get some dick of her own and be over it soon Grace: OMG DO YOU HAVE TO Grace: she has a man, it's stupid Grace: & so is how often I have to defend you Grace: not the life I want thank you Janis: but seriously Janis: what is her actual problem Janis: you must know Grace: I don't Grace: I thought it was cos she thought you took him from me but it's not that deep Grace: It's not like barista boy is the love of my life sorry Janis: She just likes being a bitch Janis: sorry but it's true Grace: UM but the things she's saying are sooooooo out of order Grace: Like no Grace: It's horrible Janis: It ain't news to me Janis: she's always been like it, you know that Grace: not about you to me Grace: this highkey Janis: Guess she's over being sly with it Janis: probably thought you'd be # more about it idk Grace: You know I wouldn't Grace: Yeah? Janis: It's whatever, I don't care Janis: thought that's what y'all already did so Grace: Bitch I care! Grace: I can say what I want Grace: she can't Janis: Try and tell her that Janis: not exactly how it's been though so not surprised she don't care either Grace: Hello!? that's what I'm saying Grace: I have Grace: You can date all the hot boys you want Grace: it's not her business Janis: Makes everything her business that's her M.O Janis: depriving her of potential victims, like Grace: Oh please Grace: she's never get him Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Why you think she's so mad Janis: take it up with him it's him that won't fuck her like Janis: though no tah, also Grace: no cos its not about HIM it's about you Grace: that's why I'm SO mad Grace: he's obvs into you for whatever reason so Grace: she doesn't get to say he shouldn't be Grace: idk whatever Janis: She's a control freak Janis: we all been knew before her bones started sticking out so much Janis: I don't care, ignore her 'til she misses you enough to get over it Grace: she's a lot of things, hun but not the relationship police, we can all date who we want, sorry about it Grace: she thinks she can tell me who to go out with too now Grace: excuse you no Janis: Just 'cos she can't stop me and Jim, sh reckons you'll be easier Grace: Ugh I don't even want to go looking like this Grace: but she doesn't want me to so obvs will Janis: You look fine, you're just stressing Grace: You don't know Grace: You're not here Janis: Unless you've disfigured your face I can take a wild guess, babe Janis: and unless your catfishing this lad, he's gonna know what you look like too so Grace: Please, he knows what I look like when I'm a 10 Grace: today is NOT that Janis: 🙄 Janis: idk can't you call one of the ones that ain't her Grace: sure if I wanna kms Grace: wherever she is, they are Janis: Come on Janis: you have to show her up Grace: Help me Janis: Now I'm fashionable is it? Janis: What can I do, like Grace: idk Grace: you're not freaking out Grace: & you have a boyfriend Grace: ask him Janis: ask him what? like do you want outfit opinions or conversation starters here Janis: you've met him, yeah? 😂 Grace: obvs it only matters what I look like duh Grace: Mia's not coming on the date Janis: He's making dinner right now Janis: You could come over or just send me snaps of what you're planning Grace: CUTE Grace: I won't gatecrash Grace: anyways I don't even know where he lives, I didn't get that far 😂 Janis: 👌 Janis: I'm glad to know you stopped yourself before being that creepy, babe Grace: You stop! I am not Grace: it's not my fault we never get any new hotties around here Janis: 😂 Janis: who's this lad then, anyone I know? Grace: someone Mia does so probably cos you're so obsessed with each other 🙄🙄 Grace: jk tho obvs Grace: 😘 Janis: no doubt Janis: with her now, like Janis: all a giant ruse and conspiracy against you Grace: OMG don't even Grace: if I see screenshots of this anywhere I'll kill you Janis: 😂 Janis: [snaps Jimmy] Janis: not a threesome Grace: ugh he has no business looking like that tho Grace: for a white boy Grace: outrageous Janis: I know Janis: You LOVE white boys though don't lie 😏 Grace: I can't help that there's more of them in Dublin Janis: Okay babe Grace: OMG stop Grace: I don't only date white boys Grace: you literally CAN'T say that Janis: 👌 Janis: I'm not keeping track Janis: vague memories of one not entirely pasty one Grace: Well I am, and it's like a 60/30 split so Grace: I can do some maths, bitch FYI Grace: OMG this boy isn't?! Is that why Mia doesn't want me to date him?! 😱😱😱 Janis: 😂 Where are we putting the other 10% Janis: I know you ain't dated no Asians, facts Janis: she tryna keep your numbers down? considerate of her Grace: In my #regrets pile shhhh Grace: or she wants him for herself Grace: to compete with your interracial coupling Janis: She wants every lad for herself, told you Janis: the more #desirable to others the better Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: she wants yours, she's plotting Grace: be careful Janis: Like I said, he ain't arsed Grace: Obvs but still warn him Grace: she's a LOT Janis: Yeah Janis: actual maneater Janis: 🐍 Grace: 😂 Grace: she wishes Grace: she doesn't even do blowjobs Janis: Calories, init Grace: she did one once & it went so tragically she's never Grace: but you didn't hear that from me Grace: why I was trying to help YOU duh Grace: so shaming Janis: Heard that from the lad she disappointed anyway Janis: boys talk too, you know Janis: give yourself a second chance and a better rep, Mia Janis: she's just easy, not rated Grace: Duh Grace: I just don't wanna know what they say about me Janis: Good 'cos I don't wanna chat about that either Grace: OMG is it that bad? Janis: Nah I'm saying I don't listen when they chat about any of you Grace: 👌 thank god Grace: I put in the work Janis: 🙄 Janis: Disgusting Grace: Oh please Grace: Like you don't Janis: We don't need to chat about it do we Grace: I'm just saying! 🙄 Grace: It was a sincere offer of help before Grace: You can talk to me Janis: I don't need help Grace: 👌👌👌 babes Grace: no shade Grace: I just know what it's like Grace: at first Janis: It's good Janis: I keep telling you it's not my first time like Grace: Babes, come on Grace: If you don't wanna tell me, fine, but you don't need to lie Janis: 🙄 This is why we don't talk Janis: if you ain't gonna listen or believe me what's the point Grace: I am listening Grace: but we both know he's the first boy you ever went that far with Janis: so? Janis: #virginityisasocialconstruct is it not Janis: don't mean I don't know what I'm doing Grace: Oh my god Grace: I literally never said it does Grace: I'm only trying to help Grace: sometimes it's good to talk, Janis Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Yeah you did Janis: There's nothing to talk about don't be weird Grace: whatever Grace: excuse me for trying to be nice Janis: It ain't nice it's nosy Grace: It's nice if you want someone to talk to & you don't have it! Grace: you're so rude Janis: well I don't so youre fine Grace: I heard you Janis: 👍 Grace: Are you coming home this week at ANY point? Janis: I'm sure I will Janis: can't stay forever can I Grace: I'm sure he'd allow it Grace: shame he has no friends or brothers who aren't kids Janis: Not everyone's parents are such pushovers though Janis: 😂 behave Grace: 😇 obvs Grace: I just don't want to go Janis: he's a munter Janis: I understand Grace: OMG shut up Grace: It's about how I look not him Janis: The more you think on it the less fun you're gonna be and have Janis: you're fine Grace: You don't understand Grace: so excuse me if I don't wanna hear it Janis: What don't I understand Grace: anything Grace: you don't care Grace: you don't have to Janis: Bit rude Grace: Well it's true! Grace: Some of us don't just get a hot boyfriend & amazing sex life, you know Grace: some of us have to try Janis: Let's calm down, it's just roll of the dice ain't it Janis: not like I've had a million hot boyfriends in a row like Grace: cos YOU didn't want to Grace: Like I said, you don't understand Grace: so don't tell me to calm down Janis: I ain't saying it for my health Janis: but okay Grace: You're saying it cos you want me to shut up Grace: so 👌 Janis: No I'm not Janis: but getting in a flap ain't gonna lead to a good date and then you'll feel even worse but you're just confirming your own bias Janis: everyone feels like shit sometimes but don't let that dictate what kinda time you're gonna have Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: whatever I'm having a GREAT time if my feed says I am so Janis: how does that matter when you ain't Grace: Duh, only doing this so Mia won't win Grace: remember? Janis: 🙄 Janis: She wins automatically because you give a shit and she don't Grace: I know you'd LOVE for me to give up, babes but I can't join you in the ranks of not caring Janis: No shit Janis: she's a terrible friend Janis: who do you think you're doing any favours Janis: not yourself Grace: I'll just be alone then? Love that Janis: Get new ones Janis: you aren't bound for life Grace: Sure Grace: cos it's sooo easy Janis: Easier for you than it is me Janis: there's plenty of other girls who like the shit you like that aren't shitty people with it Janis: not entirely shitty, anyway, better Grace: & I'll just step into their friendship group & belong Grace: you have no idea Grace: You've never been friends with a group of girls before Janis: For good reason Janis: clearly Janis: it ain't that deep Janis: it doesn't have to be, you aren't 12 Grace: I wish I were Grace: It's easier then Grace: you can be friends with whoever Janis: You still can Janis: no one is forcing you but them Grace: no one else wants me Janis: sure they do Janis: just don't be so full on with it Janis: it ain't gonna be sleepovers every weekend or whatever at this age Janis: not at first especially Grace: I'll just change my entire personality 👌 Janis: You can Grace: You're so mean Janis: I'm not Janis: if you're sick of it then do something about it Grace: You are Grace: You want me to be a different person Janis: It's nothing to do with me, I don't care who you are Janis: You're bringing problems, I'm offering solutions Janis: also bit rich don't you think Grace: You're literally just saying everything's not that deep Grace: that's not a solution Grace: & I just want you to be A person, so no Janis: Because it isn't Janis: only your friends act like this, it's insanity Janis: and I am a person, whether you like it or not Grace: It isn't to you cos you don't know what it's like to be me Grace: and you know what I mean Grace: since she died you just pushed everyone away Janis: This has nothing to do with that Grace: Come on Grace: everything does, babes Janis: Nah Janis: Can try and use it as a copout but people stopped buying it a while back so I wouldn't bother Grace: That's not Grace: ugh why do you have to make everything so difficult? Janis: Me? Janis: You're the one that's got all the #problems tonight Janis: I'm chilling Grace: whatever Grace: I can't Janis: Have you tried? Grace: stop being such a bitch to me Grace: OMG Grace: I'm just gonna go Janis: Alright then Janis: have fun Grace: sure Janis: 🙄 for God's sake Janis: just send me the outfits Grace: I don't need the shotgun to my confidence thanks Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: I'm just going to tell you which is best Grace: No you wouldn't Grace: so like I said, no thanks Grace: I don't need it Janis: Yeah, fine Janis: you caught me Janis: just needed a laugh Janis: Laters then Grace: 👋 Janis: 🙄 Grace: maybe I'll see you when you bother to come back Grace: baited breath, like Janis: Why do you care Grace: obvs care too much about EVERYTHING so Grace: why not the only sister that's left Janis: Dramatic Janis: the other two aren't dead Grace: they don't answer their phones Grace: you still do even if you are a bitch Janis: More fool me, obviously Grace: yeah obvs Janis: Don't you have getting ready to do? Grace: I have cancelling to do Grace: it's one text Janis: Really Janis: What happened to not letting her win Grace: what happened to she already has? Janis: 'cos you let her Janis: and are going to this time too, cool Grace: no, 'cos I care & she doesn't Grace: you said it, you can't have forgotten it this fast Grace: literally can't win if we're going by that Janis: What sort of solution is to sit at Home and mope regardless Grace: what sort of solution is letting a boy see me like this? Please Grace: like it isn't cringe enough that I have to ask you to help me Janis: Cheers Janis: go fuck yourself then, like Grace: it's a better plan Grace: at least I know what I'm doing Grace: can't guarantee he does Janis: Don't be gross Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: got the look, I'm just trying to match it 👌 Janis: Shut up Janis: You're so stupid Janis: what, you've got a few spots, yeah? your hair won't go right? Janis: who fucking cares Grace: You're stupid Grace: You literally don't know what you're talking about Janis: Because some lad ain't gonna shag you 'cos you don't look like your filtered selfies Janis: yeah and I'm clueless Janis: they don't care, you could be a different girl and they wouldn't notice Grace: cos I don't want to leave here if I don't! Janis: Then don't Janis: let that stop you and become a shut in Janis: sounds fun Grace: I hate you Janis: Nah Janis: we know who you hate Grace: Leave me alone Janis: Fine Grace: Good Grace: go annoy the barista Janis: Be more fun for me that's for sure Grace: I hope so or you really were lying Janis: 😂 you wish, babe Grace: I don't actually Grace: he seems nice Janis: 😏 Nice? Janis: You've got the wrong one or that was the world's most forced compliment Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I meant like he's not a fuckboy or whatever Grace: it'd be a shame if it was just for the 'gram Janis: Yeah, I'm such hot property everyone wants that brag on lock Grace: Ugh Grace: I'm just saying I do hope he likes you Grace: Forget it Janis: Yeah, I get it Janis: Don't worry about me, I'm fine Grace: I wasn't Grace: I was thinking how much it'd annoy Mia if you two get married or something Janis: Right well if I'm marrying someone to piss her off you can go on one measly date 👌 Grace: Well I already cancelled, so it's all up to you now, sorry Janis: 😑 Cheers Janis: get the invites out now Grace: she can have mine Janis: so dramatic Janis: as if you're turning down a wedding, no matter who's it is Grace: such a bad listener Grace: I just did Janis: 😂 Janis: ooh burn Janis: my imaginary guest list is shaking Grace: your guest list is nonexistent Grace: imaginary or not Grace: but the rest will make up the numbers so 👌 Janis: 💔 Grace: sure Grace: seriously, don't you have food to eat by now? Janis: I'm multitasking Janis: don't use my tongue to type Grace: he'll be 💔 if you keep ignoring him Grace: don't YOU let Mia win, babes Janis: Obvs Janis: ain't that what you recommend Janis: treat 'em mean keep 'em keen Grace: depends on the boy Grace: he wouldn't like it Grace: he's obvs too highkey Janis: You reckon? 😂 how many convos have you actually had with him, babe Grace: Duh Grace: I don't need to, I saw your little display, remember? Grace: & his artwork Grace: so 😍😍😍 Janis: Whatever you say Grace: whatever you say, he's YOUR boyfriend Grace: 🙄 Janis: Let's not get crazy though Grace: yeah so crazy that you like each other Janis: Gross 😉 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: if you don't need anything I'm off for real then Grace: 👋