#it's like almost comical looking at the cold war from this perspective

[teenagefeeling]

im reading a rly long environmental history book about the bering strait for school rn and i gotta say. this place is a little wild

[luna-loveboop]

Wars and Wild as knights in Lu

They have issues.

I have a lot of thoughts on Wild and Wars and their relationship (Order of this post is talking about saluting, Wild and Wars' different perspectives, memory issues, and fire) Rant time.

No saluting!!

So Wild took a formal- almost/awkwardly saluting pose when Wars confronted him in 'Entrance pt.2'

It's similar to the first time Wild addressed Wars as 'captain'. His left hand is up from where a salute should be, and his overall posture is awkward, with his shoulders and right hand raised, but it's clear he's trying to do a salute in the presence of a fellow knight.

In the second example his hand is behind his head, but his posture is very straight and his right arm stiff- he's again attempting a formal saluting position. Which is still awkward

It is less clear but his changes in posture clued me in. He goes from like a deer in the headlights to visibly sweating to straight backed and looking up at Wars- looking at the changes in his body language

Side note but I literally love how Jojo draws the champions tunic so much-

We can't see the action of Wild's body language in a comic, just the positions he went to. But he visibly leaned away from Wars before switching to a straight backed saluting-like posture. He's clearly freaked out, hence Twilight's face: >:(

I think that Wild taking somewhat military poses around Wars is important to their relationship issues because it comes from his struggle with memory and identity

.

So like. All of them have different perspectives

Wars

I adore Wars. He is baby and I love him. I think it is also important to acknowledge that he would not speak to any of the others this way.

And the scarf man cmon it's so pretty they are so cute-

Why is Wars talking to Wild like this? He's called him out and reprimanded him multiple times in front of the others. Wild has taken it well but tbh if it was Legend I think he would be on fire.

To some extent I think he is in captain mode. I think that he has trouble seeing Wild as not a knight. Wars gives Wild respect as a knight who sacrificed for his kingdom, but now it seems he's taking it away as a knight who's not doing well enough since he 'disregarded the plan'

At least I think that's the outside (or Wild's) view of it. But Wars internally really cares about Wild and he saw him run up to a giant and lose it. Different ways of showing concern perhaps?

Who wouldn't want to keep Wild from getting more scars?

I just. Don't doubt for a second Wars really cares about Wild- even if the way he's acting still isn't cool. He has no right to treat him like a soldier any more than the rest of the chain, and right now I think Wild is acting as the more mature person.

Wild

I adore Wild. He is baby and I love him. I think it is also important to acknowledge that although he is clearly making efforts after Twilight's injury, Wild has ignored Wars for the majority of Lu, by not speaking to him much, and not thanking or acknowledging Wars when he directly helped him. (Small example being walking with Hyrule not Wars when injured and not directly responding to Wars)

Wars cares about and respects Wild, but it seems Wild wants nothing to do with him, and he's been cold towards Wars for the majority of Lu. To Wild, Wars reminds him of his perceived failure. Which is valid feelings, but still not fair. And I think that ask is talking about these two.

The thing I love about this is each of them are right and wrong in some ways, leading to the tension between them. So fully blaming either of them is not logical

The rest of the chain is just vibing. Except twilight who's mad and wants them to just grow up, but. Heros of courage not wisdom @uniquevoidflowers ;)

And that ask- '''Are any of the Links ever jealous of another Link for adventures that were less difficult/life threatening?'' ''When you hear Wild say he 'hates' someone you'll have your answer.''' somewhat leads to my next point-

Wild's identity and memory issues exacerbate all of this

In Entrance, Twilight is being stressed and defensive, that's ok. What concerns me most is that Twilight has talked with Wild through stuff like this in his rough moments

Wild has tried to be formal several times- he is not very good at it

Four's face I can't didnwidkekfjej

Wild isn't and can't be 'him'- the same 'perfect' (<actually has crippling anxiety) knight he was before, and Twilight knows this. And I agree with him a bit, I think, that Wars is making things worse in Wild's mind by being that perfect soldier, and seemingly holding Wild to a standard he isn't

Wild's attempts at saluting is symbolic of that- Wars makes him feel like a failure trying to be the person he should be. But Wild shouldn't be anyone but himself.

Anyways. Fire.

Wars and Wild have issues, and I want them to work through all their relationship drama so they can reach their PEAK dynamic, which is obviously this

I mean like. We need these two to be friends

Anyways. Wild is in this constant state of identity crisis, and being around Wars has not been beneficial- neither of them is or has been showing the other the respect they deserve. Not as knights, but as people and brothers. They need a get along shirt.

All this Art is by Jojo @linkeduniverse au!

:)

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

CRATER LOVE HATH NO MAN

Opening in theaters today:

Asteroid City--In Golden Age of Television black and white, a stentorian TV host (Bryan Cranston) tells us that we're about to see a documentary about the writing and staging of a new play. The drama in question is titled Asteroid City, and it's set in a tiny desert community near the impact crater from an ancient meteorite. It's the Cold War mid-'50s in this, Wes Anderson's latest; mushroom clouds blossom in the distance from the occasional nuclear bomb test.

Soon we shift to color, and to a stylized milieu that looks like Midcentury travel-poster art of the southwest. A large roster of characters assembles in Asteroid City, many of them for the convention of the Junior Stargazers, an organization of youthful science prodigies and inventors.

At the center of this ensemble, insofar as it has a center, is a bereaved young photographer (Jason Schwartzman) who hasn't yet broken the news to his kids that their mother has passed on; he's one cabin over from a movie star (Scarlett Johansson) with whom he bonds, as do his son and her daughter. Along with these familial tensions, the gathering sees military intrigues, scientific experiments, quarantine and even alien close encounters.

I really wish I liked this movie better than I did. Anderson is a one-of-a-kind comedic artist, and his 1998 Rushmore is one of my favorite films of the last thirty years. His debut feature Bottle Rocket is a gem as well. Most of his subsequent films have been brilliant but uneven; the best of them, like The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou and Moonrise Kingdom and The Grand Budapest Hotel, have been flawed near-masterpieces, dazzlingly imagined and acted but marred by heavy-handed touches of sour violence and labored narrative conceits.

All of this is regrettably at work in Asteroid City. It has a beautiful look, the title setting is beguiling, there are patches of funny dialogue (by Anderson and Roman Coppola) and strong visual gags. The cast is without peer for current Hollywood prestige, glamour and chops. The star power is almost too abundant to name; check the poster above for the listing. It's the sort of bunch that only Woody Allen used to be able to command. But all of this, alas, falls short of overcoming Anderson's misguided habits.

Most ruinous is the frame story, about the play. It looks great, but it distances us from the main story while adding no perspective on it that I could see, is of minimal amusement in itself, and diffuses the later part of the picture into hazy anticlimax. But even within the Asteroid City story, Anderson strikes a curiously flat tone. Deadpan is a wonderful comic technique, unless everybody's deadpan, and then it just becomes monotonous.

A couple of the actors, like Liev Schreiber, Tilda Swinton, Hope Davis and Steve Carrell, manage to escape the Jack Webb Sound-Alike Contest and texture their performances a bit. And Tom Hanks, as Schwartzman's dour father-in-law, somehow finds a tone that's fully in keeping with the movie's style but also seems entirely naturalistic. Hanks seems to be indestructible.

[hobbyspacer]

The Right Stuff - Folio Society edition

The Folio Society has released a special edition of The Right Stuff, Tom Wolfe's famous book about the Mercury Seven astronauts. Andrew Chaikin, author of A Man on the Moon provided a new introduction and also worked ... closely with Folio and illustrator Tavis Coburn on the visual look and feel of the book, which takes its cue from 1940s comic art and Soviet posters of the time. The illustrations portray the astronauts as Cold War heroes, and Coburn’s beautiful retro-futurist cover design perfectly captures the aesthetic and spirit of the early Space Age.

Title page of The Right Stuff edition published by The Folio Society including one of the illustrations by Tavis Coburn. When The Right Stuff hit the bookstore shelves in 1979, two decades had passed since the famous press conference that introduced the Mercury Seven astronauts to the nation. Long gone was that Space Race era of the late 1950s and 1960s when astronauts and rocket launches were spotlighted in a never ending parade of front page newspapers articles and magazine cover stories. The 1970s certainly saw major space developments including the  Apollo-Soyuz linkups in orbit, the construction of the Space Shuttles,  deep space science missions, and a revolution in communications, especially the distribution of TV programming, by commercial satellites. For most of the public, though, space began to fade quickly from view after Apollo 11 and was almost completely out of sight by the late 70s. The press considered space passé and relegated most space news to back-page science and aerospace niche categories. https://youtu.be/9GjfGXBkvqY So it was quite a surprise to many, especially cognoscenti of American culture, that a writer of Wolfe's stature and hipness would do something as odd as write a book about astronauts. Those Space Race era articles had consistently portrayed astronauts as rugged paragons of courage and patriotism at work and faithful husbands and steadfast fathers at home. Such trite eulogies left the astros looking like dull NASA figureheads rather than full-blooded frontiersmen. And worse, at least from the astronauts' perspective, many people believed the astronauts did not actually pilot their spaceships but rode passively in capsules directed by bow-tied, white-shirted, chain-smoking nerds in Mission Control. Readers of The Right Stuff discovered that the astronauts were, in fact, complex 3-dimensional individuals with diverse personalities and backgrounds, often with private lives that crossed rather than toed lines of strict decorum and restraint. Most of the 60s astronaut corps came from the military test pilot world where death defying  feats were daily duties and bar binges nightly rites. Wolfe framed the Mercury Seven within that test pilot culture and its ethos of courage, deep technical know-how, and precise decision-making while under intense physical and mental stress. Proving you had the proverbial right stuff to handle any and every thing a fire-spewing capricious metal beast could hurl at you while far above the ground  was the test pilot's central goal in life. Wolfe held up Chuck Yeager as the iconic aviator with the most righteous right stuff of all.  Yeager had flown the first vehicle to break the sound barrier and was revered by his peers as one of the greatest pilots ever. The lack of a college degree disqualified him from the astronaut corps and he initially dismissed the astronaut's  role in space missions as nothing more than spam in a can. The Mercury Seven, however, proved him wrong when they successfully fought to expand their role in the operation of their space vehicles far beyond what the hardware designers had envisioned. The Right Stuff is thus primarily a book about that test pilot world and not about conquering space. As someone who was a space cadet from his earliest years, the book highlighted for me the fact that most of the astronauts were not born and bred space enthusiasts. From their earliest years, they wanted to pilot the fastest and highest-flying planes, not settle Mars. Regardless of their lack of keen interest in humanity's expansion into space, they were clearly the best-qualified candidates to take the first vehicles there. And, of course, many of the astronauts did eventually become strong public advocates for space exploration and development. It's great to see the Folio Society honor a great book like The Right Stuff. It's an important book that should be read by anyone who wants to learn more about the beginnings of the Space Age and the magnificent men who flew the first space machines. Read the full article

[traincat]

Hey, what do you make of Peter following Gwen around after their breakup in TASM2?

Okay, this is a tough one because, like, I don't want to be like, yay stalking, but like, in the specific context of this scene, I'm gonna be a little bit like that. Not real life stalking, before someone comes into my inbox like, "Traincat, are you glorifying stalking?" I'm not! I've been followed for multiple blocks in NYC on several different occasions so believe me I know this behavior, in real life, is not excusable. But we're talking about a fictional character in a movie so I think it depends on what we mean when you say what do I make of it. I'm going to be talking about it purely in terms of how I'm judging most Spider-Man adaptations, which is on a scale of how true I feel they are to the original comics, not on a 1:1 adaptation ratio but on whether or not I feel they captured they spirit of the series, setting, and character.

So I have to say that I think it's a good scene because I think it's ultimately very in character for Peter. I also think it's an interesting scene because while the films are primarily through Peter's perspective -- we know his intentions while he's following Gwen around are benevolent, if overbearing -- it also allows the audience enough room to step back and to see that he's a flawed character. Which I think is one of the problems some Spider-Man fans have with The Amazing Spider-Man series: it presents Peter as a flawed hero. Prime example? He's kind of stalking his ex-girlfriend.

Do I think this is objectively great behavior from anyone? No, and I don't think we're necessarily supposed to approve of his actions. I really don't think TASM's goal was to make us agree with everything Peter does. On the other hand, do I think it is in fact hugely in character for Peter? Listen. Peter Parker's a little bit of a stalker.

(Daily Bugle #2)

(ASM Annual #42)

(ASM #596)

Don't bug your friends and family. I mean, unless your friends and family are constantly being kidnapped by supervillains. Then I guess it's like "find my iPhone."

One of the things I've talked about with Peter in terms of how he's a flawed character -- and I very much think that he is and that that's a good thing -- is that he can be controlling. It's the flipside of the responsibility: because Peter has more power than other people in his life, he assumes responsibility for them, whether they like it or not. This is, from an objective point of view, some real machismo bullshit, but with a fictional character as well-developed as Spider-Man, I think it's an interesting character note that leads to potentially interesting friction between him and his supporting cast. TASM's Peter follows this same general path; although I don't think he's a 1:1 adaptation of 616 Peter, I would say he's essentially assembled of all the same parts. And that includes his tendency to make decisions for other people.

I've seen the bit where he's following Gwen brought up a lot, and I'm not saying it shouldn't be, but what I find interesting is that Peter's behavior immediately before it in the movie is almost never dissected in the same way. When we pick up with him at the beginning of the movie, he is controlling towards Gwen. We know in the gap between The Amazing Spider-Man and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 that they've had an on and off again relationship, with several breakups -- all, it's implied, facilitated by him, because he feels guilty over her father's death and George Stacy's last words, which asked him to promise to leave Gwen alone. (I have a different post about how it's interesting that the audience seems to side with Peter and agree that he should listen to George's desires for him to leave Gwen alone instead of Gwen's desires for Peter to be with her here, but it's a little off topic for this particular discussion.) This follows the ending of the first movie, where Peter breaks up with Gwen and then appears to get back together with her at the last moment. It's all Peter's decision, on his own, made largely if not entirely without Gwen's input. He certainly knows her feelings, it's just that they don't actually factor into his decision making when we pick up at the beginning of the movie. And that's a bad thing and I don't think, at least from my perspective, the audience is supposed to agree with him -- not because they want Peter and Gwen to be together, either, but because Peter is in the wrong.

Which is why I think the "I break up with you" scene is really interesting -- from the way Peter continually talks over Gwen -- his loudly going "wait, WAIT" over her while she's trying to express her side -- to the way Gwen wrests back control by breaking up with him and that breakup sticking for the majority of the movie. Which leads us into the montage scene where Peter's swinging around New York, including the clip where he's following Gwen from the rooftops. The viewer knows why he's doing it -- because he wants to make sure she's safe, but also because he wants to be able to see her on his own terms, without letting her have that control. The flipside of great responsibility is great control issues.

I'm going to say something potentially controversial, but I think some of the pushback against The Amazing Spider-Man franchise is that they're Girl Movies. They're the chick flicks of the superhero set. Look at the set up of the first kiss compared to Raimi's Spider-Man -- he doesn't shed his shy public persona to manfully rescue the damsel in distress from thugs while the rain pours down around them and she isn't so overcome that she has to kiss him upside down. (Look, it's an iconic kiss scene! I value it for its contributions of the pop culture landscape! But the cold pouring rain does conveniently provide the audience with a little PG-13 Heroine Nipple Action.) Instead it happens on Gwen's rooftop after Peter gets done arguing with her dad about politics at The World's Most Awkward Family Dinner. If anyone gets a little PG-13 nipple action, it's Peter when he has to shuck his shirt so Gwen can tenderly wipe down his gross lizard sewer wounds while she wears a pristine white nightgown. I've mentioned before that I don't think "superhero" shouldn't really be viewed as a genre in and of itself when we're judging what makes a superhero movie "good" because most superhero films are action films mixed with another genre -- sci-fi, Western, war movies, and then there's The Amazing Spider-Man/2, which are romances. They're the Twilight of superhero films. That's why Andrew Garfield gets to have such great hair. And that's why they fall back on tropes like "the hero staring longingly at the love of his life from far away, knowing He Can Never Be With Her." Cue the music. And it works, because Spider-Man is, essentially, a romantic hero, with all the pros and cons that come with that. Is it problematic? I mean, yeah, if we're supposed to agree that Peter's in the right, which I would argue is debatable, even if Gwen, when they get back together, seems to get over him following her really quick. Romantic stalking is a well established trope -- and whether or not it should be or whether it glorifies abusive behavior is a related but different conversation to viewing this scene on its own, through my preferred lens of: does this scene belong in a Spider-Man movie?

Yeah, because, and I say this extremely lovingly, he sucks. If Peter is supposed to be a perfect character, then of course he shouldn't do this, and this scene shouldn't be in the movie. But he's not a perfect character -- he's a very flawed one, and it's an in character scene.

[moscarific]

1984 for the ask thing. :)

Well, this sure did become a thing.

Film

This Is Spinal Tap - Almost forty years later, I have not stopped laughing at this movie. When I saw it as a kid, the mockumentary style threw me for a loop in the best way, because I was so used to seeing comedy that was showy and carefully timed, and the humor here feels off-the-cuff and real. Everything in my home goes up to 11.

The Muppets Take Manhattan - This film does not actually hold up except for the music, but the scene with Miss Piggy and Joan Rivers turned me into a 5-year-old drag queen.

The NeverEnding Story - Am I too old to harbor a tiny hope that I will someday step into a book and become the hero of its story? And get to ride on a big fluffy white dragon?

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension - It has been a couple of decades since I first watched this in college - drunk and/or high at midnight in the college theater - and I still have no idea what the fuck I just saw. But I'm pretty sure it was awesome.

Ghostbusters - My dad took me to see this in the theater when I was four, and I lasted a full 15 minutes before I got scared and started crying. I don't think my dad has forgiven me. Anyway, I like it better now.

Stop Making Sense - David Byrne's big suits were my first drag aesthetic, and the music. The weird, jittery, post-apocalyptic, transcendent music. Someday I will step into a suit and live in David Byrne's head.

Books

Neuromancer (William Gibson) - I read this the way it was meant to be read, at age fourteen, to impress the upperclassmen on the literary magazine staff. It felt prescient in the '90s, and now it's just uncanny. Gibson is one of those authors who doesn't seem like he turns much of a phrase, until you step back and see how immersive his worlds are.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Milan Kundera) - I pulled this off my parents' shelf in high school because it had a cool cover and read the whole thing while I was home with a cold. When I try to explain to people why I find it comforting to believe there's no afterlife, I wish I could hand them this book instead.

The Illuminatus! Trilogy (Bob Shea & Robert Anton Wilson) - More weird cult stuff that you have to read in high school or never. It's not... good? But it's great.

The Butter Battle Book (Dr. Seuss) - Every parent should teach their young children that the problem with war is that it's banal and nonsensical, and we can all do better.

Comics

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Kevin Eastman & Peter Laird) - My friend got her hands on trades of the early runs of TMNT in middle school, and the revelation of this darkly satirical source text of the TV cartoon was a pop culture coming-of-age moment. It's about superheroes as people, and adolescents as people, and gentrification and marginalization and homelessness and family, and it made me want to move to New York immediately.

TV

Muppet Babies - My generation has collectively forgotten most of the cartoons we watched at 8 AM on Saturday mornings while building pillow forts and Lego spaceships with our little brothers, but we've all retained this one.

V - I watched this by accident on a hotel room TV when I was way too young for it, and it creeped me out and made me fall in love with sci-fi in ways that I was surprisingly ready for.

Theater

Sunday in the Park with George - One of the great works of art about making art, from the perspective that process is inscrutable but people are not. The score bangs on dissonant chords until the exact moment when you think you can't take it anymore, and then it opens up into beautiful, soothing melody just long enough to really fuck you up again. Assume that whenever you read my writing, I hummed "Look, I made a hat!" just before posting.

Music

The Pretenders - Learning to Crawl - Chrissie Hynde's voice is so sexy, and the songs are full of a uniquely Midwestern longing.

Robyn Hitchcock - I Often Dream of Trains - Side A is all pranking on Freud and Christianity, and side B finds things to have faith in, even if Hitchcock still sounds like he's snarling.

R.E.M. - Reckoning - Mostly mournful and lovely, plus two absolute bangers that are retroactive bi pride anthems.

Depeche Mode - Some Great Reward - I bristled at this in high school when I thought it was edgy (but too pop), then embraced it in college when I realized it wasn't that edgy after all (but stunning).

Madonna - Like a Virgin - I can perform an improv lip sync routine to any song on this album, on demand.

Prince & The Revolution - Purple Rain The best pop album ever made. I am not accepting criticism at this time.

[thelazyvehicon]

Vehicon Headcanon, Part 1: Origin and Construction

I'm labelling this as Part 1 because I have LOTS of headcanons about these guys.

We all remember the humble Vehicons, don't we? Those poor souls we feel sorry for, but we love to watch them get pummeled anyway.

They're the identical punching bags of TF Prime. Destined to be blown up, crushed, or, more likely, shot.

They're not even safe from their own officers. They're so interchangeable, that no one can tell them apart. Even when they have different vehicle modes.

They're the perfect cartoon henchmen; sturdy enough to put up a fight, but just fragile enough that they can be taken care of with no problem.

Even the show creators seemed to be of similar mind. In The Art of Prime, it was stated that the producers weren't even sure that the Vehicons would even speak, hence the lack of mouth. Their voices ended up being a late production decision.

The narrative seems to portray them as drones (Starscream even calls them as such). Given their identical appearance, it's easy to assume they're highly sophisticated AI instead of true Cybertronians.

I found myself baffled that the Vehicons weren't fleshed out more. Other shows sometimes have single episodes that shows the perspective of such background characters, but Prime never got that chance.

And so, I took it upon myself to breathe some life into these grunts. Starting with the question: where do they come from?

Vehicons are basically MTOs Constructed Cold.

Those who've read the IDW comics know that there are two methods by which new Cybertronians are created in that continuity: they're either 'Forged' or 'Constructed Cold'.

'Forged' Cybertronians are, for lack of a better term, 'naturally occuring'. Their sparks are generated by the planet's core, and their bodies gradually grow around the spark, accumulating the 'sentio metallico', or 'living metal'.

On the other hand, Cybertronians who were 'Contructed Cold', had their sparks artificially ‘frozen’ and stockpiled. These sparks were then implanted into pre-fabricated bodies, manufactured according to standardized blueprints, and then ‘thawed’ out.

Reading further into IDW, I also learned of MTOs.

MTO is an acronym for 'Made To Order', a term for Cold Constructed soldiers who were hurriedly created in response to military campaigns. They were given a limited education program (which would be slowly done away with to save time), basic combat training, and then deployed to war almost immediately.

After reading the comics, things began to fall into place, and I reached a conclusion: Vehicons are Cold Constructed soldiers.

The reason they're all identical is that their frames are all manufactured according to a standardized blueprint. Team Prime is able to take them out in droves because their bodies are weakly armored, presumably so that they can be manufactured in large numbers without causing a drain on resources and time.

They appear in such large numbers because there really were that many sparks frozen and stockpiled before the War; Cold Construction was likely a huge industry on Cybertron.

I'm imagining entire platoons of Vehicons being Cold-Constructed in warehouses. They have some basic education and indoctrination downloaded onto their systems (adherence to the Decepticon way, loyalty to the cause, some basic combat training, and not much else), and then they're marched out for assignment.

Or even worse, maybe they were hastily Made To Order, instantly deployed onto a battlefield before they even knew what was going on.

Imagine a dropship soaring over a battlefield, containing rows of Vehicons in harnesses, sparks recently installed. Cables dangle from the dropship’s roof, plugging into the back of the Vehicon’s heads, streaming all the knowledge they would ever need.

With a jolt, the Vehicons come to life, visors flashing red. They only have a moment to process what’s just happened-to process that they’ve just been born-when the floor splits open, the harnesses unclamp and they’re suddenly dropping down to a raging battle below.

Vehicons are not drones. Vehicons still have sparks, and they're still sentient. Which means that they can make decisions, take initiative, and make judgment calls, like any other soldier.

However, their identical appearance, lack of a proper faceplate, their large numbers, and the prevalence of serial numbers in lieu of names, means that almost all other Cybertronians, especially the Decepticons, are unable to empathize or connect with them (with very few exceptions).

With all this in mind, is it any wonder that the Vehicons are treated as expendable?

In the next part, we'll take a look at my headcanons regarding Vehicon heirarchy, promotions and the role body modification plays. Stay tuned.

[thefairyletters]

aaaAAAHH, when you wrote abt sasusaku and reverse pining like YESSS. I couldnt exactly put it into words before reading your post, but I wholeheartedly agree. it would pose a more interesting narrative for the development of their relationship if the roles were reversed and entertaining to read sasuke going out of his comfort zone

Oh yes, Sasuke trying and fighting to get back what he had initially denied is everything that characterizes a canonically healthy SS romance.

Let's also look back to Sasuke getting welcomed back into Konoha. Now, personally I find it strange that people, especially civilians and several shinobi who didn't know Sasuke even existed within village or just knew him in the passing, didn't react to his presence back in the village. He is one of the most notorious S-class missing nins, is he not? Someone who helped instigating the war in the first place, even though he did help in ending it too? Someone who left behind his village before he even knew what his village actually did to his clan?

He is one of the luckiest characters with one of the most tragic backstories on his back.

Inspite of his long list of crimes, Sasuke was allowed to get away unscathed, something that would have gotten any other person slaughtered without a second thought. Alright, so village values his bloodline and is willing to turn blind eye to every atrocities he's committed against all five villages and whatnot. Understandable, because it's politics.

What's not understandable is the extent of sacrifice Team 7 makes for Sasuke. Particularly, Sakura who was turned into some kind of homecoming gift to Sasuke. He came, poked her forehead (voluntarily!) and left (again!), it doesn't help this pair that the forehead poke doesn't have a very positive intonation to begin with. That means, he also got the girl (broodmare) in the end; the same girl he knocked out and left behind alone on a cold bench in the middle of the night.

I wouldn't deny that Sasuke may have always harboured special feelings for Sakura, but Sakura hardly ever saw him after he left and when she did, it's always an attempt on her life by him. It should be enough to make her question if her Sasuke will ever be back.

I can understand that she never stopped loving him because she fell in love with the boy who was her teammate, not the one who made attempts on her life, so she may have always kept loving him. But after everything – the war, and their angsty moments – she more or less should have just settled with focusing on bringing him back and not on her feelings for him.

If it wasn't for Kishimoto, she would have done just that – not caring for Sasuke's feelings for her and only wishing him to return home to them, instead of getting reduced to blushing mess everytime Sasuke is in her presence. Like life had always been so peaceful and pink. Like Sakura and Naruto hadn't survived a war which probably killed many people and left many more without family. Like Sakura didn't know firsthand how death can affect people. Like Sasuke almost hadn't tried to get them all killed.

Reverse pining should have been important in SS because Sasuke easily leaves everything behind and he gets everything back just as easily. There's no effort from his side – he wants to revive his clan and he gets a willing broodmare who happens to be the same girl he had left behind, he wants his Konoha citizenship back which he recieves handily and then proceeds to leave the village the next day, with only "until next time".

I personally would have preferred Sakura to keep her feelings locked behind a polite smile and only present herself in a very cordial manner to Sasuke. I would have preferred her avoiding Sasuke, if only because she doesn't know where she stands with him and is traumatised by his attempts on her life. This, if he really loved her and wanted to let her in, would have confused him, then worried him and then finally forced him to work his way to build his relationship with Sakura, starting with a tentative friendship. Even a word between them on how they should start over would have done wonders on SS relationship.

I can't stress enough how much I hate Naruto for everything that Kishimoto/SP messed up spectacularly. Sasuke and Sakura are duo embodiments of hypocrisy. In their attempts to make Sasuke look cool and attract sympathy towards his character, Sasuke ended up looking really foolish and withdrawn to the point that he could pass for a toy broken beyond repair.

I would even approve the idea of Sakura accepting Sasuke's hand in marriage only because it is expected of her. After years of pining for Sasuke and then pretend-pining (because change will raise questions), it will be well within her character to forgo her personal feelings and do what everyone expected of her. Featuring Sakura being unconditional in giving him a home, though with sad eyes and warm company, and Sasuke understanding her sadness, acknowledging how kind she was to him even after everything he had her go through, and then trying to win her love by reciprocating the love he had always denied her. That way, it would become a story of love in an arranged marriage. This arrangement would go well in Boruto considering the gratitude that Sasuke shows Sakura from time to time.

The whole idea of reverse pining would have put Sasuke's insights of their relationship into perspective and also given us an idea about his mindset during the times that involved him trying killing her. I personally think between Sasuke and Sakura, Sasuke is the more emotional person. Uchihas are particularly passionate and volatile, but all under the wraps. Sakura is expressive and wears her emotions on her sleeves but is considerably calmer of the two where it counts. Comic relief don't count.

Shippuden either shouldn't have ended without another season expanding upon the reunion of Team 7, or it shouldn't have hinted on any pairings – least of all, SS, which is easily the most complex pair I've come across.

SS is one ship that deserved its own movie than any other. period

Am I clear?

[margridarnauds]

Scattered Thoughts on Treason: The Musical

[warning for some critical discussion]

The Cold Hard Ground: 

First song I listened to. 

God, we’re getting DARK. This is seriously a mix between a villain song and a hero song, and I’m HERE for it. 

This is the one I’m possibly most interested in, because it’s really making me wonder how they’re going to portray the plotters: Are we going to be seeing them as fanatics, or as heroes, or somewhere in-between? In this song, it looks like Catesby is a man broken by grief who turned to fanatical religion as a way of coping with his own suicidal tendencies. 

“So TAKEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEE. You won’t BREEEEEAAAAAK meeee, it’s too late to SAAAAAAAAVVVVEEEE MEEEEEE.” 

GOD those final notes are going HARD. 

At first, I thought that it was rather scattered, musically wise, but the more I listen to it, the more I think it’s brilliant because the music comes together by the end, as Catesby seems to calcify in his convictions. 

I’ll be really curious to see how anyone but Hadley serves this, but a solid 80% of this song, at the moment, is built on his impressive performance. I’ll be really curious in knowing how the livestreams went. 

Take Things To Our Own Hands: 

Honestly, my favorite song on the album, probably one of them that I can best visualize on stage. 

WE NEED TO THINK OF A WAAAAAY TO BRING THE WHOLE SHIP DOWN.

Favorite vocal moment: When all the conspirators’ voices join one another, and then the moment at the end where it sounds almost like a church’s choir. 

I absolutely LOVE the slick folkish feel to this, paired with the driven pace, it’s like if “The Story Told” from Monte Cristo decided to go folk, I love it. It really has a feel that I don’t see many musicals going for (Hadestown being the closest, though it goes in a jazzier style than this) , and that’s something really in its favor. If the rest of the songs follow this level of quality and tone, this musical is going to be a really, really fun ride.  

Also, it’s very interesting in terms of how, even though this is the conspirators’ “Pump Me Up” song, there’s this very DARK overtone to it, which makes sense given what they’re proposing. Their voices go increasingly hard, almost into a staccato, and I wonder how much of that is diction VS them showing how hardened and increasingly radicalized the conspirators are becoming. 

That being said: “I once had influenza but now that’s all gone when things turned sour”?????????????????? I’m trying desperately to wrap my head around this lyric, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

The lyrics in this particular song are, admittedly, its weakest point: They tend to be very, very repetitive, but, in all honesty, it doesn’t really bother me - It works with that mood of the conspirators becoming radicalized. 

I know that Hadley tends to get most of the kudos for this song, but the other conspirators (Waylon Jacobs, Oliver Savile and Emmanuel Kojo) deserve MASSIVE kudos for their performances, I’m seriously going to be looking into all of them after this. 

The Day Elizabeth Died 

I started off not really caring for this song, but I’ve really warmed to it. 

I’m really curious about who the main singer in this song is supposed to be, because I feel like that will really change how I feel about the lyrics specifying that she had “An inch of makeup on her face”. If we’re supposed to view this from the perspective of a devoutly religious 17th century Catholic woman, I can understand it more than a Protestant woman, given that it really, really works with some misogynistic stereotypes about Elizabeth. 

So, the singer’s apparently Anne Vaux, which makes sense. Okay, I’ll give them this one. A little period-accurate internalized misogyny can be good for the soul. 

I LOVE Rebecca La Chance’s voice. It’s so wonderfully clear and strong, delicate, but with steel beneath it. 

There’s something almost....wistful, melancholy, and isolated about this song? It strikes a very odd balance between being sympathetic to Elizabeth (some say she died of a broken heart) while condemning her reign. 

ALSO. BEST VOCAL MOMENT ON THE ENTIRE ALBUM. “We mourned for her, she was our queen, and for 45 years, she had reigned supreme.” And then the conspirators coming on with “WE DID NOT MOOOOOURRRRN FOR HER. SHEWASOURCAPTOR.” I could, legitimately, listen to that bit alone on repeat, I’m actually obsessed with it. That odd, conflicted feeling between Elizabeth having been Queen for longer than most of England had been alive, providing a sense of stability, while also the very real persecution that English Catholics were under. This is the kind of nuance I really want to see the musical carry forward. 

Blind Faith

I don’t really know what to say except that Martha Percy’s love for Thomas Percy is juxtaposed with Thomas Percy’s feelings for Catesby. 

Literally. 

That’s the song. 

If this musical ever develops a fandom, there are going to be a hundred Catesby/Thomas fics, with James/Thomas being the darkhorse fic. 

It’s hard to judge this one, simply because it’s much more conventional love song - It sounds similar to, for example, “That Would Be Enough”, if Alexander Hamiltpn decided to blow up George III instead of join the American Revolution. It’s a TWIST on the conventional love song, but it still follows similar beats. 

But I DO love how their voices go together, the song really starts to shine when that happens. 

That last “This path was MINE to choose, he has nothing to prove”, probably is the best vocal moment. 

Overall, I don’t have MANY thoughts on this song in comparison to the others, but I can also see myself warming up to it over time. 

The Promise

“His face is quite nice” It’s VERY obvious they’re going for a queer comic relief interpretation of James, which I honestly have mixed feelings about given that he is, clearly, going to be the one that our protagonists are trying to get rid of. There’s.....something about that, a bunch of presumably straight protagonists ganging up to kill a stereotypically portrayed gay man. I know that historically, James WAS, but.....I still don’t like how stereotypical they played this one. Someone could point to Herod from JCS but, in all fairness, Herod was written in the 1970s (and, tbh, given that the central relationship in the musical is Jesus and Judas, you could argue that the entire musical is very, very homoerotic, which makes it less glaring.) This is...well, I’ll have to see how the musical deals with it. I’m willing to give it a fair shake, but they might have set themselves up for danger here. 

But Daniel Boys is, admittedly, serving this song on a silver platter. 

Really, really going into the Spoiled Child Route here. 

If it sounds like I’m disappointed with this song compared to the others, it’s because......yeah, I kind of am. Musically, it’s fine and a little catchy, lyrically, it’s fine, but that nuance I’d been seeing in the other songs goes out the window. James isn’t my favorite historical figure of all time (Bro basically set up the English Civil War), but there still HAD to be a better way to do him justice than this. 

It doesn’t hurt that, unlike the other songs, which were demonstrably TREASON, this one is very much.....a JCS/Hamilton rip-off. Like, it’s very, very blatant. 

Love the rising strings when Percy tells him that Elizabeth is dying, that sense of tension - It does remind me a little of something I heard in The Pirate Queen, but you know what? I’ll give it to them. 

Lowkey obsessed with Oliver Saville’s eyebrow raise when he says “You could save England.” 

The problem is that they’re leaning so hard into the comic route that, when James says that he’ll be a fair king, it really, really makes the Catholic nobility sound dumb as Hell to listen to him. Like “Yes, man who routinely, gleefully sings about cutting off people’s heads, I’ll listen to you!” I know they’re desperate but....come on. 

But also. THAT HIGH NOTE. Daniel Boys really put 110% in there. 

Overall, my takeaway is that this musical could either do very, very well or very, very badly, depending on how they play it. It’s hard to judge because the public only has access to 5 tracks (except for the lucky ducks who bought tickets to the stream, where they got access to 10) - It’s hard to judge a musical based off of 5 tracks, and a musical about the Gunpowder Plot with, say, a love song called “Blind Faith” almost sounds like something out of a parody, something destined to be one of those flops that go down in history. BUT, that being said, the musical has some very strong vocal performances and some really good music, when it keeps to its own mood and style instead of trying to go off of what other, more successful musicals have done. There’s some real, real promise in this musical, and I’ll be both anxious and excited to see how it all turns out (and if they ever offer a full purchase for the live recording......I’d honestly probably buy it.) It was a shame I found out about it so late in the game, because I’d have totally bought tickets to the stream if I had known earlier. 

[kazbrkker]

Chapter 10: The Price of War

Chapter summary: The events of Highway of Death told from Alex's perspective. Alexis' real name is finally uncovered, and one of her captors' identity is also revealed. (3327 words)

Warnings: Hadir's betrayal, character death, flashbacks of almost death.

   "Come on, stay with me!" an unfamiliar voice bounced around her head.

Was Alexis dreaming again?

Alexis was definitely dreaming again. Which was how she knew this was reality. Because she knew when she balanced over the thin line between life and death, she would dream. Sometimes she dreamt of hungover mornings and coffee runs with Maddox and the crew, inhumane circuit laps with Mactavish and Price, or the countless times Alex talked her ears off with the desire for another tattoo.

The pain that ached all over her body, accompanied by the abnormal brush of coldness told her it was time. Time to meet your maker.

She heard this joke once, and this sure as hell was the punchline.

"...keep squeezing... hand–"

Hadir? Was... was she really dreaming? This couldn't be real.

Worse were the dreams conjured by fear. The ones that took her right back to St.Petersburg to stare down the shimmering flames. The feeling of raw flesh after endless interrogations. And the reminder of wearing her blood like a second skin. It was she never left that tiny jail cell.

Alexis remembered the crackling of the flames. It was all that filled her ears. Her captors were missing. She was in the middle of nowhere.

The fire blazed a slow path straight for her like she was the final goal to reach. It tore down wooden crates, engulfed the flimsy curtains and went straight for her. Like the fire had a mind of its own and knew it wanted her.

This was it, the end of her legacy. Her stories were etched in flesh, and her book would be the grey stone in Arlington.

The salty tears streaming down her bruised eyes should have hurt, but didn't. The roaring fire snuffed out most of the oxygen and thinned the air. Her head was growing heavier by the seconds, eventually resting it against the grimy walls.

There are worse ways to go, she tried convincing herself.

When she started to drift away, she summoned enough energy to raise a fingertip over the wall—finding her name carved into the stones. Her real name.

Maybe, hopefully, somebody would remember her.

Her dreams manifested into her sleep over time. When she dreamt of St.Petersburg, she'd wake up with her mouth gaped wipe, like she paused mid-scream. Her fingers would tremble and she'd force herself to give in to her shaking legs and remain seated. She'd whisper to herself that it was only a dream. It'll stop.

Until it didn't.

Today, with her back on the ground, eyes rolled back, Alexis dreamt again.

The worst wasn't knowing she was going to die—that was the price of war. She had long made peace with the Grim Reaper. It was knowing she finally had something to live for.

Maybe this time her dream wouldn't stop.

━━━━━━

FIVE HOURS EARLIER:

29 October 2019, 0730 "Alex" CIA with Urzik militia Darus, Urzikstan

Alex hopped off the truck, inwardly expressing gratitude that after hours, they'd finally arrived at their destination. Though the aura of a village filled with rubble and dust in its silence put him off.

Ribbons of the early sun had already splashed across cerulean blue canvas. Behind him, Alexis blew a low whistle. He turned around to discover her standing in the middle of the elevated road—looking heavenward.

"What a view. Exactly the one I pictured–" Alexis marvelled.

Alia stopped her, "You picture your death?"

"Of course. You'd be surprised how disappointing death can be."

Alex kept a blank face despite feeling his heart drop. Apparently his cold shoulder treatment was starting to draw attention—evident when Farah arched an inquisitive brow beside him.

He returned with a shrug, still nursing his anger. He was pissed to be kept in the dark about Alexis' mysterious call. Her standoffish behaviour was from an all too familiar playbook that Alexis always operated out of—the masterful art of dodging.

It was exactly what happened after St.Petersburg. Which was why Alex had to intervene before it took a turn for the worse.

"You're out of it. Anything I should know?"

"What should you know?"

Answer a question with a question.

"If you want to lie to my face, go ahead. But I won't stand here and pretend to believe you."

"For CIA, you have no idea how to deal with women." Farah nudged him up the flight of stairs.

Only then did Alex realised he was spacing out. Although that couldn't stop him from thinking about how the early sun practically bathed Alexis with a halo. "Or... I know exactly what I'm doing," he smirked, climbing two steps at a time.

Farah smacked his arm, "Ah, don't play the game, play the man. I believe that's what you Americans call it." In combat, Farah was all expressionless and cold, but when the commander was out of the field, sometimes she allowed a certain amount of lightness to grace her smiles. They bumped fists with a knowing grin.

"Zip it," behind them, Alexis knocked Alia's head loudly, "Don't even think about dying."

"They'll have their hands full with her up there," Farah mused.

He heard Alia's terrible attempt at whispering—asking Alexis what he pictured for his deathbed. The cunning young lady certainly deserved an ovation. In more ways than one, Alia really was the splitting image of a young Alexis. Another loud whisper came from the young girl. "What do you mean he's not angry! You must be blind."

Alex recalled that one particular vacation in Bali that birthed this conversation. Just the two of them laying on the beach, free of woes and war. Three years felt like a lifetime ago.

"Throw me out of a helicopter, shoot me out a canon. I want my corpse to rain from the sky."

"Go out with a bang?" Alexis sipped on her frozen margarita, laying on a beach chair unbothered by the world. "That is very you."

Surely that sounded like an exaggeration. But if Alex had it his way, he would. Unfortunately, there was already a plot in Arlington reserved for him.

"Something like a sky burial," Alexis answered for him. Flashes of her chocolate hair loose on her shoulders and sunburnt cheeks left his mind. Alex felt her eyes burn into his back. "He's... weird."

"I heard that."

Several wobbly ledges later, they reached the vantage point that overlooked the highway, Hadir passed them two custom made sniper rifles. A larger than usual smile appeared on Alexis as she geeked at the custom rifle. It was almost comical—her jumping around while donning a ridiculous head gauze. While Hadir's impressive rifle put her in a good mood, Alex suspected it was Hadir, Farah and Alia responsible for this lighter shell of Alex.

He missed this version of her—not haunted by demons of her past. Trust it to be Urzikstan to draw out this side of her again. He'd do anything to make this Alexis stay.

"I'd watch that recoil, Lexi."

Alexis flashed a smile, pushing past him, "And I'd worry about your shots, babe. Trajectory is a bastard in this wind."

He set into a prone position right beside her, getting into tune with the new rifle. Then, Alexis cleared her throat loudly, winking into her sniper scope.

"Say, this cold shoulder treatment is getting a little old..."

A second later, she fired a clean shot into a watermelon 600 yards away. Hadir rejoiced in his native language, "Your fruit killing skills are remarkable, Alexis!"

"Don't I know it," Alexis winked. He sensed her scheming face before she even wore it, "Alex, since we're out here swatting flies, what do you say to a friendly competition?"

That interested him, "What's the catch?"

"No catch," she shrugged. "One minute. Whoever shoots the most is the winner. And the loser..." There was a glint in her eyes, "Has to do anything the winner says."

His eyes landed briefly on her grinning lips before he agreed.

The playing field was set: plastic bottles, some rotten fruits and crates. His index finger rested snuggly on the trigger, head lowered to dial into the scope.

"Okay! One minute starts..." Farah paused, "Now!"

Pulling the trigger was an unconscious effort by now, a steady exhale later and in between heartbeats, he fired. Right off the bat, he shot through one plastic bottle nested across the highway. Beside him, Alexis missed her shot, mumbling about how the recoil was too strong.

"Is the prize not enticing enough?" he mused, aiming for his second trophy.

"Only if you lose," her airy laughter made it hard to suppress another smile.

Within fifty seconds, it was a tie. It came down to the final plastic bottle. It was difficult to line a shot with the sun glaring right at him. Still, Alex kept his shoulders levelled and spoke with confidence, "Any last words?"

"You first."

Exhale.

Shoot.

Heart hammering in his chest, they watched collectively as the single bullet tore through the plastic bottle, leaving a gaping hole in its wake.

"And that's how it's done!"

Alex tilted back to reach Hadir's high-fives. "My brother, your biggest fan," Farah smiled.

For someone who lost a bet, she didn't play the role. With a charming smile, Alexis' fingers snaked the curve of his wrist. Alex pretended she didn't just jolt him awake with a simple touch, "So. What am I supposed to do?"

"I know just the thing," a brash grin slipped back onto Alex's face, thinking how he had more luck than skills. Or maybe it was an added motivator.

━━━━━━

Everything went wrong quick and fast.

When Price radioed with news, they expected the Wolf to scramble their way. What they didn't expect was Barkov's company.

Alexis split from the group, taking main overwatch at the next building beside them. Her injuries worried him. But their promise to inexplicably trust each other in the field triumphed his concerns. An enemy sniper across the highway was picking Farah's army off one by one. And Alexis... "Dropped his ass!"

That's my girl.

Winking into his own scope, he burst the tires off a suicide truck with a single shot. The one upside about this shit show was that Barkov's army helped clean up the Wolf's men for them.

He dodged back into cover just in time when a bullet whizzed past him. Shit, they found him. Farah panicked, "We need help! Where is Captain Price?"

"Won't make it in time! We need a Hail Mary for these fuckers!" Alexis shouted over the crossfire.

He spared a quick glance to check on her. In the blinding sunlight, her hair turned into a colour that reminded him of bitter tea. Several stray pieces of hair stuck against her sweaty neck. Alexis was still holding her weight, but it was obvious she was growing weary.

But no amount of energy could change the fact that they'd be boxed in by the enemies soon. And Farah and Hadir had too much honour in their cause to retreat. Alexis was right, they needed an ultimatum.

"I've got more firepower in the truck! Alexis, cover us! And Alex, follow me!" Hadir nudged him. Alex left the rifle at his nest and dropped down the ladder to follow Hadir.

"Hadir! Please tell me you have a big enough stone!" Alexis yelled past the gunfires.

"The biggest, sister! They won't know what hit them!" He followed Hadir in and out of different houses.

Without warning, a spray of bullets burst through the battlefield. Alex didn't think much of it until Farah yelled Alexis' name in a state of manic. His first instinct was to charge back in their direction, but Hadir kept a death grip on his forearm, reminding him they only had a small window to make this work.

This better fucking work, Alex thought. Dying on the Highway of Death would be too prophetic.

"My truck is full of explosives, very powerful explosives, it's time to use them! Open the tailgate, quickly! I'll cover us! Open it, Alex!"

The truck held canisters of– "Russian gas?" The entire time Alexis and he spent looking for leads of the stolen gas...

Hadir stole them?

"Yes! And now we send it back to them!"

It was too late. The tremors of an explosion, the screamings. They were lucky not to be swept in the explosion radius, but from the green gas that now terrorised the air, that was the least of Alex's worries. Soldiers irregardless friend or foe, doubled over to cough their lungs out. Blood sprayed ruthlessly in the air before they collapsed.

"You said we needed a big enough stone. This is it, Alexis!"

"No... No no no! Not like this–" Her sentence cut off.

Alex was on autopilot at this point, blindly following Hadir back into a house. Only Farah yelled through the comms, but it was radio silence from Alexis.

Please be okay. Although the raw coughs outside the bunker made him feel foolish for harbouring hope.

The gas worked quick, already blurring his vision. His head spun wildly and his throat scratched. The deadweight of his combat vest alone was enough to make him flop like a raggedy doll. His weakness fed his panic. Alex held onto the bunker's walls with every bit of strength still inside him.

Alexis, he recited over and over again. Alexandra Ward.

Bring her home.

Find her. Find her. Find her.

If Alex hoped the incantation could hold power for him, he was greatly mistaken. One step forward, he crumpled down the floor like an abandoned puppet.

"Hadir–" Alex's vision floated in and out, unable to see Hadir. He briefly registered a new weight over his face. A gas mask. Alex slurred through his words, "Alexis... Find..."

He fought against losing consciousness, not knowing when Farah ended up in the bunker, but only knew she was alone. "Alexis!" he weakly tried their comms again.

Fuck, stay the fuck awake. Not like this.

He channelled all the remaining energy he had, however little. He didn't stop, not even when his breathing slowed, his vision now appearing in phases, or his urge to vomit his guts out. Frantic, he reached for anything he could get his hands on–

His fingers flexed, not even able to feel the texture of leather of his gloves. All he could do was that, and blink to keep himself awake. Hadir was mumbling incoherently about something, not wearing even an ounce of regret from the mere silvers of sight Alex peeked through.

Hadir ran out the door like a coward. Some part of him prayed for the shred of Hadir's humanity to find Alexis.

Alex swore he saw the sun outside melt away, turning his world blue in twilight. His last thoughts were about a certain Bali sky.

━━━━━━

The buzzing of a helicopter shocked him awake. Alex shot up immediately, realising they were still in the bunker. It was deadly quiet, too quiet. Then he realised it was just his blocked hearing.

His world still swirled on its own axis when Price and Kyle came running in. Staring blankly when Price shouted something he didn't understand.

Alexis. The fog in his brain cleared. He kneeled his way over to the unconscious women who laid beside him. Using all his might, he propped her into his lap, fear-stricken when blood stained his hands.

Where did that come from? He hurriedly wiped the molten blood off her head, finding the opened stitches to be the root source.

"Holy shit, captain," Kyle deadpanned, a face full of dread, "This is bad."

Price wasted no time before scooping Alexis up and away to the helicopter.

Alex was thankful for Price who supported the weight he most definitely couldn't: the weight of Alexis dying in his arms.

━━━━━━

It must have been only a few hours of solitude Alex had since they returned to base. Laswell sent all of them to medical immediately—and Alex answered with a clean bill of health. He might be out of the woods, but his hands wouldn't stop shaking.

An unmistakable voice roared outside his ward, followed by someone yelling. He cursed loudly when his eyes snapped open. Did everything have to be white and smell of ammonia?

When his door swung open, he immediately shoved his trembling hands into the sanctuary of the hospital gown's pockets. In his doorway, his glazy vision told him someone was propped up by two other figures. Once his vision finally registered who she was, he bolted over. Much like him, she had an IV drip in toll.

Alex caught her by the waist when she faltered. "Farah," he gave her a once-over, "They cleared you?"

The commander nodded, stepping into his room with feeble steps. Although Alex suspected Farah's ashen face wasn't the result of the toxic gas. He passed her the tray of hot porridge that sat idly on his table.

His hands dropped when Farah eyed it in concern. He cleared his throat, jerking his head to the tray. As expected, Farah rejected it too.

"I'm sorry, Farah," he started, tracing the IV needle embedded in his forearm. For strange reasons, it calmed him. "Hadir..."

"Is my brother," Farah said sharply, "I should have known..." Alex rushed to her defence, but Farah raised her voice in both sadness and anger, "No Alex, I should have known. It is my job as his sister. Hadir was losing faith in the militia, but I pretended not to see it."

Alex averted his sight away. Unsure what to say to comfort Farah. He couldn't begin to understand, nor did he want to pretend he could. Farah rubbed an exasperated hand over her face, "Hadir killed most of my men. And..." Her voice wavered, eyes shining brighter under the blinding fluorescent lights.

"Alia," he said on her behalf.

How did everything go sideways so fast? Five hours ago, all of them were squeezed in the back of a truck, wind in their hair and laughter in their words. Alexis had promised Alia to a hamburger after this shitty war passed, because the war-torn girl had never seen one, let alone tasted one.

"Hadir will pay." Again, Alex remained silent. What could be worse than hunting your own brother? "And if Alexis... doesn't make it..."

Alex sighed, still rubbing circles around his IV. Farah's words all but gutted him.

Alexis tried going back for Alia, which prolonged her exposure. Her open wounds sent her condition from dangerous to life-threatening. The ringing in Alex's ears was so loud but he managed to hear something about chlorine poisoning.

Alex tiredly pressed his palm against his eyes, trying to force the memory of Alexis' rigid body out of his mind but only received another vision of her intubated with an oxygen ventilator. "The Cipro and antitoxin are a wild shot. They're more worried about the fluid in her lungs."

To Alex's surprise, Farah picked up the bowl of porridge to eat. The smallest of smiles tugged across her lips and somehow it made Alex feel much better. "I have no doubt she'll wake in a few hours. She's a tough one."

Alex remained silent.

"Maybe we should try dangling that forsaken ration pack she loves," Farah tried to joke, but her tone felt otherwise. A few seconds later, she continued, "Alexis survived worse. She will pull through."

Was Farah talking about St.Petersburg? It almost slipped his mind that she was the reason for Alexis' safe return. Well, her and... Hadir.

Hadir's betrayal would break Alexis... If Alia's death wouldn't.

Maybe guilt encouraged Farah to supplement the gaps in Alex's understanding, but she explained everything. From the burning house, Alexis' threatening to leave, to how she delivered Alexis safely to St.Petersburg. Whatever Alex knew was from the mission report, the gruesome details blacked out for clearance. The way she described Alexis' injuries induced nausea in him again.

But something else Farah said intrigued him. "A few weeks after Alexis left, the mercenaries returned to Urzikstan. Demanding blood for the American, they said."

Alex leaned out of his chair upon hearing this. It was a piece of the puzzle the rescue task force was couldn't collect. Even the joint task force of JSOC, CIA and SAS ran up cold leads as to who was behind the kidnapping.

"One of the men mentioned a name, Gaia."

‧͙⁺˚*·༓

a/n: alexandra... ward!!!!!!! her name is strictly need-to-know so we gotta thank alex for his pov lmao. & i'm pretty sure her injury counter is through the roof rn. but cheers to me for beating up my characters lol.

alia though... i'm absolutely gutted over this.

taglist: @shigarakiluvbot​ @wanderlustgiant​ @captain-pikas-world​ (wanna be tagged? lmk!)

[oosteven-universe]

Almost American #1

Almost American #1 Aftershock Comics 2021 Written by Ron Marz Illustrated by Marco Castiello Coloured by Flavio Dispenza Lettered by Rus Wooton    Spies...like us? In 2008, husband-and-wife Russian intelligence operatives walked into the U.S. Embassy in the Dominican Republic in order to defect, making a deal to trade secrets for new lives. But instead of the American Dream, Janosh and Victorya Neumann found themselves caught up in red tape, bureaucracy and turf wars between the FBI and CIA — all while their past tries to kill them.    One of the things that attracted me to this story is that it’s not like the cold war infiltration of spies into the American landscape, no it is much more recent than that.  These aren’t sleeper agents gathering information for the Motherland, no these are folks who fear for their lives back home and want to live a better life and have no other viable option but to defect to the United States in a way that isn’t obvious or as overt.  What happens shows the inefficiency of our Government and how it operates and I see this kind of brutally honest look is exactly what we need to see in order to fully understand the machinations of how the world works.  Petty men and women who think they wield power and don’t comprehend how little they matter get to make decisions.    I am very much enjoying the way that this is being told.  The story & plot development that we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information is presented exceptionally well.  The character development that we see through the dialogue, the character interaction as well as how they act and react to the situations and circumstances which they encounter helps to establish their base personalities that we’ll see expand and change from here.  The pacing is excellent and as it takes us through the pages introducing us to the story, the characters and the world and sets the stage for what we’re going to see.      How we see this being structured and how the layers within the story emerge and grow is superbly rendered.  I love seeing how the layers are opening up different avenues and while some will be explored and others won’t be, what they all have in common is that they add this great depth, dimension and complexity to the story.  How we see everything working together to create the story’s ebb & flow as well as how it moves the story forward is extremely well achieved.      The interiors here are incredibly sharp!  The linework is clean, crisp and strong and how we see the varying weights and techniques being utilised to create this level & quality of detail work that we see throughout the book is magnificently rendered.  How we see backgrounds utilised to enhance and expand the moments as well as how they work within the composition of the panels to bring out the depth perception, sense of scale and the overall sense of size and scope to the story.  The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show a remarkably talented eye for storytelling.  The various hues and tones within the colours being utilised to create the shading, highlights and shadow work shows a sensational eye for how colour works. ​    I’m a sucker for an intelligent story driven book and this is what that promises to be.  No superheroes, no powers, just plain old fashioned drama, intrigue and a little adventure as our intrepid couple tries to stay one step ahead of their past while striving for a better future.  This is smart, intelligent writing with some damn fine characterisation and some beautiful interiors that draws the reader in and captures the attention perfectly. 

[an-ambivalent]

Bleeding Heart [Yandere! Prince! Namjoon]

Word Count: 1.8K 

Warnings: It obviously goes to say that since this is a yandere work, it deals with uncomfortable things that may be uncomfortable or triggering to read. This work is rather angsty? I’d like to say lol, and it contains mentions of violence so read at your own risk.  I do not condone this behaviour, nor do I believe any of the mentioned members would display this type of behaviour in real life.

With certain genius-ness that is marveled at because it exceeds the human expectation comes a certain extent of ostracisation. The man lost himself behind his mask and amongst the very people who cared so little. Then, once darkness shrouded him for long enough and he stopped seeking, he found a pair of hands in the utmost unexpected circumstances that held the answers to all that he searched for. 

To what many may not believe, the reality was that life of a royale could be rather complex. There were those who developed minimum brain cells and stayed blissful in their ignorance -- the one’s with an IQ lower than the room’s temperature; they were the one’s who only selfishly cared about their own needs. To be this type of person was the easiest because these individuals never cared about others. Then, there were people like him, the extraordinary, the exceptional buds who only bloomed once in a blue moon if given the right circumstances. Prince Namjoon was an innocent child of wonder who was forcefully bathed in cold blood of others -- the less unfortunate. If nurtured with an environment of love and taught to be selfless, he could have been the sovereignty who would have reigned with the power to teach love. But that was not the case. Instead, Namjoon had a rigid upbringing and it was one he was never able to break out of. No matter how intelligent he was, he was never smart enough to understand what terms of kindness and selflessness meant, and he was never smart enough to be able to escape the clutches of his own insanity that drove him to ruin everything. 

 “Strive for more power, you will be stronger, you will be more dignified.” 

The only thing he had felt when he had raided the smaller lands, whom the victory was guaranteed against, and the count of blood of the innocent on his hands simply increased, was a hollowness in his chest. 

“Get rid off those who undermine you. Take their life away and added their earnings to yours. You will be on top of the world.” 

Rather than feeling a sense of gaining like he was told he would, he lost the last glimmer of lustre in his irises that was only flicker left of his innocence. The sheer coldness in his eyes, the lack of humanity, and emptiness of all emotions suddenly seemed to become the more defining traits than his unique monolids; for to be undermined was said to be anyone who gave him the slightest wrong remark, action, or emotion. 

He wondered why he had not killed her in their first meeting and what had drawn him to cling onto her. 

With her delicate hands, skin on them was evident of certain roughness. Her skin was darkened due to the soil coating it. With the utmost gentleness and tenderness of her hands, she tended to the flowers in his personal garden. In Namjoon’s eyes, given the ideals he was raised with, it was pointless to cater to flowers with as much caution as she did. As he watched her, the look of determination to do her best with looking after the plants, and the evident love in her gaze, baffled him. 

It was like a pull from a high power that prompted him to walk towards her -- the first sole meeting that was going to take place to give him a taste of what could have been, before everything he comes to care for is taken away. 

Words left him before he even knew he had spoken. 

“Why do you bother trying to cater to something that is weaker than you? It seems pointless.” His cold voice rung out, causing her to halt in the midst of her movements. [Name] stayed stilled for a few moments processing that someone had called out to her. Usually, while her duties were scheduled in the garden, she was never really accompanied by someone; she was always in her own company surrounded by the fruits and flowers of her hard work. This unexpected greeting had made her freeze, and Namjoon, who would generally have a person’s head off if they took so long to respond to him, was oddly patient. 

[Name] turned towards his direction, and as she looked up at him, she blinked a few times,  before she felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Because of her lower status, [Name] did not interact with royals much if any, so she did not know them particularly by their face or even their name. But with the way Namjoon was dressed, it was evident he was someone of high status. So, automatically, she bowed to him in respect in response to his greeting. 

“Please pardon me, I did not hear what you asked of me.” At this, Namjoon’s eyebrow twitched and now, he was beginning to feel annoyed. 

“I don’t like to repeat myself, listen attentively next time when spoken to,” he began harshly. The lack of respect he held for people below him in status was evident in his condescending tone, which had also caused [Name] to wince inwardly. “I asked why do you bother trying to cater to something that is weaker than you? It seems pointless,” he stated stoically. 

[Name] raised an eyebrow as she stood up to her full height Then, without an ounce of fear or hesitation, she looked into Namjoon’s emotionless eyes with her own challenging stare. 

“Do you wish for me to answer truthfully or give you an answer that conforms to your ideals and beliefs?” 

For a minute moment, the corner of Namjoon’s lips seemed to have twitched upwards. But it was so sudden that it might as well have been a figment of her imagination. 

“Humour me with your honesty,” he responded, and [Name]’s eyes widened slightly, before she earnestly nodded. 

“There’s no particular reason for why I care so much. I just do because like you and I, they’re alive. The value of one life form of life over another is just a human concept. Without our possessions, our status controlled by those who believe they have power, we are nothing, just like everything else. All living beings live and die universally, and all of us, sin and carry regrets. If we’re so similar, it’s only fair we do our best to tend to everything around us,” she explained easily, and smiled at Namjoon. In response to her reply, he suddenly found himself feeling flustered. 

In a poor attempt to call her out for her foolish ideologies, he scoffed at her. 

“That is an incredibly foolish perspective. It is a natural cycle of survival of the fittest. The stronger consume and end the weak,” he stated simply, and [Name] glanced away from him, before she sighed. It made Namjoon believe that she thought he was a hopeless case, and he really wondered why he had not killed her yet. 

“You’re right in saying that and if that’s what you want to hear, then it’s only more important I look after plants here, isn’t it? They don’t exist to just look pretty, each can be used effectively for your gain if you wish to. Many here are cultivated into poisons that people of our kingdom use to kill each other, and to kill someone else from another kingdom. But then, where do we draw the line? Where do we realise that we have more than enough and let ourselves and others be at peace instead of alwaying causing more wars and more bloodshed,” [Name] vented, and there was great sorrow vivid in her irides. She wore her emotions and bleeding heart on her sleeve; it was evident from the way she spoke that she had been greatly affected by the ongoing war. 

Somewhere deep within him, the repressed boy buried within him, who used to, and wanted to wear his own bleeding heart on his sleeve, had started to breakthrough. Namjoon felt an odd clenching in his chest, and her words, as well as the expression on her face, hurt him immensely. It made him wonder: how could she hurt him without physically hurting him?

He was interrupted out of his thoughts and returned his attention to [Name] when she let out a dry laugh, with tears at the corner of her eyes. As he observed her silently from beside her, he suddenly wished he had never started this conversation, so he would not be the reason behind her tears. 

“I also think that life is just more fun when you rebel and do the opposite of what you’re told to do,” she said winking at him through her tear-stained eyes; such a merry expression, while tears — an expression of sadness — streamed down her face, caused Namjoon’s eyes to widen. It was on that day when Namjoon came to admire [Name] for the strength she held without weapons, for the wisdom she spoke of her own being, and for the kindness she showed in such a cruel world. 

And he should have known better than to indulge into her as a way to search for his own innocence in an attempt to wash off the blood on his hands; he should have known better than to become involved with an innocent stranger and to allow her to become his sole weakness. 

Despite the horror etched in his eyes as he looked at his own hands that were gripping the hilt of the sword, both covered in her crimson blood, he did not allow his emotions to show. He did not deserve to have the privilege to express his emotions, not after all he had done. And it was almost comical because although he had killed countless, it was [Name]’s blood, his beloved’s sole blood on his hands that took away the last of his humanity. 

He had promised himself that he would always protect her. By killing her himself, and giving her a quick and painless death by his own hands, before an enemy could hurt her, he reassured himself that it was the best way to protect her. 

He had done it for her. She was his responsibility, his weakness, so he had to be the one to decide what was the best outcome for her. 

Blood spilled from her mouth as she fell forwards into Namjoon’s arms, and whatever gushed out of her wounds, pooled and smeared against his clothes. 

“Y-You had no r-right to decide my fate f-for me,” she murmured, as the last of her life left her eyes, and they begin to dull in colour. 

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon apologised pathetically, as he brought her closer. He buried his hand into her hair, and held her dying bleeding heart as it beat for the last time. 

[awastelandheart]

Sebastian’s personality analyzed through his theory-crafted natal chart: The perspective of a professional astrologer.

PART ONE: SUN SIGN.

i apologize in advance to any capricorns i unintentionally read to filth in this post.

          i think out of all the bachelors   &   bachelorettes, Sebastian has the oddest, most abrasive post-marriage dialogue. i’ve heard plenty of people over the years complain about how awkward being married to him is   &   i, myself, tend to not marry him when i play since locking him in pelican town like that when he so clearly wants to leave feels bad. even before marriage as well, he has a lot of almost cringey   &   certainly concerning dialogue. Sebastian’s not a man that’s made for marriage or long term relationships i think, at least not in his early to mid 20s which is how old i believe he is in canon. unlike the rest of the bachelors   &   bachelorettes, his character arc   &   development don’t do much for melding him into someone worth being with. even Shane who is troubled in a much more obvious way than Sebastian has more moments of reflection that convince the player that he’s a good person despite his flaws. Sebastian may seem to be gentle in his internal struggle, it’s easy to believe that, at most, he’s rude   &   depressed, but i think there’s a lot more to unpack here that suggests he’s violent, angry to an awful degree,   &   possibly the worst marriage candidate, if not just the worst townie out of the whole cast.

          to start off with, i believe Sebastian’s sun sign is Capricorn. my reasoning for this is a blend between a post on reddit i found that used a simple algorithm to convert the in game dates to real dates. taking into account the slightly flawed method that gives each date 2-3 days worth of wiggle room,   “ january 17th ”   implies he’s on the Capricorn side of january. to be honest, when i was first thinking about what sun sign i wanted Sebastian to have, i was leaning towards Aquarius since he has several lines about escaping the town   &   wanting his freedom   ( both being very Aquarius-like qualities ),   however i think the case for Capricorn is much easier to make. to start off, i’ll give a run down of the most defining Capricorn characteristics, then i’ll move onto showing in-game examples of how Sebastian demonstrates these traits   ( while leaving room for his other natal positions that i’ll extrapolate on in more posts to come ).

          Capricorn is an earth sign, reveling in stability with a handful of almost toxic traits to display if that stability isn’t achieved. ruled by saturn, or kronos if you wanna get greek, Capricorns are at a constant war with themselves between the general human experience   &   cutting out as much superfluous expression   &   feeling as possible. the story of kronos is very reflective of the Capricorn struggle:   it’s the tale of a man   ( god, but that’s not important )   whose wife is predicted to bear a child who will surpass him   &   take his legacy. kronos, in his anxiety to prevent this change, begins eating each of his wife’s children as they’re born until one day, his wife replaces one of the newborns with a rock so that it will survive kronos’ consumption. of course this leads to the child growing up   &   indeed surpassing kronos just as the prophecy foretold. the lesson to be learned from kronos is one of restriction   &   the inevitability of time.

          between their earthly reliability   &   love of practicality, Capricorns are viewed as the traditional fathers of the zodiac sphere. they guard their values of yesteryear close to their chest. anything too different is cast far away from themselves or, rather, consumed until all traces are disposed of. thankfully not as stubborn as poor Taurus   ( another earth sign ),   Capricorns have a touch of adaptability in all their logic. their modality is cardinal, implying they take charge of situations. they are the leaders next to Cancer, Libra,   &   Aries:   any good leader knows when to give up their morals for the betterment of their charge. to boot, Capricorn is represented by the mythological creature, the sea-goat   ( a creature created by dear old kronos, himself, consisting of the torso of a goat   &   the tail of a fish );   the goat half delivering on that steady earthly nature of an unrelenting climb to the top of a mountain called life, yet the inclusion of the ocean in this aesthetic implying an amount of emotion only water signs can relate to.

          in the typical male-dominated, fatherly way, however, emotional expression does not exist for Capricorns, resulting in this implied depth to lurk well below a Capriorn’s surface. they are deeply independent in a way that leads to intense loneliness. they must do everything for themselves, another thing lovely kronos has taught us here. why look for a different solution to this problem when i so clearly have found one for myself, the ruler of saturn proclaims. a Capricorn’s independence is almost panic charged in this way. they so dearly want to be seen as capable that they will shred their own livelihood as a price. they are masters at self control for it, each having taught themselves the art of stoicism from a young age. Capricorns are at best, friendly in a superficial way. knowing their loneliness is created by their own hands but never knowing how to move passed their own cold   &   distant heart to enact any change necessary to improve their relationships.

          something that is often associated with Capricorns   &   the other earth signs is the act of earning money. while Taurus enjoys earning money to support their lavish, venus-ruled lifestyle   &   Virgo sees money as something to worry over thus resulting in them hoarding it, Capricorns crave for their income to be stable   &   plentiful in order to provide for their loved ones, or for the more lonely Capricorns, to provide for themselves.

          saturn is the first planet to take a substantial amount of time to complete its cycle through all the signs. compared to earth, which takes one year to complete its solar rotation   &   jupiter which takes 12, saturn takes upwards of 30 years. we astrologers take that as symbolical for how Capricorns get significantly better with age, as well as their   “ slow   &   steady wins the race ”   attitude. Capricorn is a sign of wisdom but only at the hand of experience. young Capricorns frequently find themselves discontented with their environment   &   lifestyle, craving a stability that cannot exist without first having established themselves in the world. every seven years it’s said, a Capricorn reaches a new level of understanding   &   maturity, as it is about every seven years that saturn completes 1/4th of its solar cycle.

          Capricorns, like Scorpios, love their privacy. regarded as one of the more shady signs of the zodiac, a Capricorn is the type of person to have everyone believing they know everything there is to know about them while simultaneously only ever revealing surface level knowledge about themselves. Capricorns love having friends   &   spending time with their loved ones, however they lack a sense of trust that would allow them to form deeper connections. while a Capricorn does experience their emotions as thoroughly as the rest of the zodiac, they have an equally intense insecurity about expressing them. a Capricorn lives their life wanting to be depended on or at least wanting to provide for those that do depend on them. emotions are seen as a weakness that cannot be spared.

          with the basic personality of a Capricorn outlined, i’ll now go through some choice quotes that demonstrate these traits   &   then talk about a few parts of his heart events that do the same.

“ if i just disappeared would it really matter ? ” “ i was thinking... people are like stones skipping over the water. Eventually we're going to sink. ” “ what am I going to do today ?   probably nothing.”

          when the player first meets Sebastian, he is overtly depressed   &   never goes out of his way to hide it. there is a solemn dark cloud filled with rain, ready to burst constantly following him   &   it’s difficult to ignore. this seriousness is very characteristic of many signs, Capricorn being one of them as it is ruled by Saturn, an outer planet with a very melancholic tone.

“ hey, don't let me stop you from getting your work done. if you aren't busy i don't mind if you stick around. ”

          this quote demonstrates the productive mindset of a Capricorn. compared to all the other bachelors, Sebastian is the only one to ever really consider the player’s work schedule.

“ i was so close to screaming at mom for throwing away my old comic collection   ...  but something stopped me. hmm   ...   with age comes wisdom. ” “ the older i get, the less i'm drawn to the city. ” “ sometimes i feel so angry  ...  but when you show up i always start to calm down. maybe i'll mellow out with age. ”

          while these quotes are also depicting other personality traits, for now i want to emphasize Sebastian’s constant referencing to the passage of time. time is always on a Capricorn’s mind, even the less self aware ones always feel the effects of its passage harsher than other signs. after dating   &   at points in marriage, which is when these quotes are from, Sebastian begins to view time as something more positive   &   optimistic. he recognizes that he has anger issues, at the very least,   &   hopes they’ll get better as time goes on. it’s quite the feat to make a Capricorn see growing older as something positive instead of something anxiety inducing, so from this alone we can really tell that Sebastian is absolutely in love with the player, without a doubt.

“ i couldn't sleep last night so I went for a night ride on the motorcycle. i need to stay independent, even though we're married. that's just how i am. i still love you, though. ” “ hey   ...   want some coffee ?   i needed some   ...   woke up early from a nightmare   &   i just couldn't fall back asleep. ” “ hey. i couldn't sleep last night so i took a walk to the caves. ” “ i'm going to take a walk today. i need some time to myself. i'll see you in the evening. ”

          Capricorns tend to be almost predisposed to sleep issues due to their immense amount of anxiety that comes with the disconnect between productivity   &   incapability, or craving emotional connection   &   viewing emotions as unnecessary. Capricorns are also fiercely independent, so independent that it’s no surprise Sebastian’s the kind of person to sneak out of bed   &   go off alone when feeling anxious instead of waking his partner up for comfort.

“ i don't want to get soft now that i'm a married guy. maybe i should start eating more hot pepper   &   working out ?   just an idea   ... ”

          while i’d also be willing to chalk this expression up to Sebastian being anxious about not passing as masc, i’m also willing to attribute this to a Capricorn being afraid of time passing   &   “ missing out ”   on life. growing soft can be a fear of a sign so dedicated to seeming tough   &   dependable.

“ i don't really feel like doing work today. maybe i'll see what's on tv. ” “ i did some work on the laptop today. ” “ i'm debating whether i should work or just read comics all day. ” “ you know, i should be doing something productive right now. i just lose focus too fast   ...   maybe i should drink more coffee ? ”

          Sebastian references his work so frequently, in typical Capricorn fashion because the urge to justify one’s pleasures by mentioning the fact that they’re also being productive is something ever-present. they are a very guilty breed;   on top of their other burdens, they feel especially bad for moments of relaxation or times when they should be doing something, but cannot bring themselves to.

“ you’re probably making a lot of money on your farm, huh ?   i guess i should get a job soon   … ” “ we should raise more slimes. in big quantities they can be really profitable. ” “ i did some work on the laptop today. i was actually brainstorming some ideas for a game i want to make. with your farming income, i can afford to do what i want with my life. it’s pretty amazing. thank you. ” “ hey. look at me. never forget that i love you   ...   you’re everything to me. now go make us some money. ” “ are we doing okay on money ?   i don’t want to have to sell my laptop   ... ” “ *sigh*   ...    if gas wasn’t so expensive i’d ride my motorcycle to the city today. so what do you do when you aren’t working ? ”

          Sebastian talks SO much about money   &   to me, it’s really hard to imagine concernedape didn’t intentionally make him a Capricorn with this much dialogue about income when no other bachelor or bachelorette has any mention of the topic   ( except for harvey who mentions he’s afraid he’s not bringing in enough money from the lack of people in town ).   the biggest one that jumps out at me to really signal a significant change in his personality after marriage is when he mentions having the freedom that comes with a steady income, a freedom that now allows him to do what he really wants which is, apparently, to make a video game. another one that jumps out at me here is his immediate association with feeling like he should get a job after assuming the player is making a lot of money. since income is such an important subject for Capricorns, it’s easy to imagine Sebastian feels inferior in comparison to the player since he’s   “ just ”   a freelancer.

“ i often felt unappreciated at home   ...   but here i feel like i really belong. ”

          this quote kind of hits Capricorn’s need to be appreciated   &   useful directly on the head   &   is a good transition for me to talk about the fact that Sebastian never progressed very far in his career while living at home with his family because he felt unappreciated. compared to how he almost immediately has a dialogue line after marriage where he tells the player he’s been inspired to make a video game, it’s easy to see the almost instant maturity Sebastian obtained just from moving out;   something he had assumed was in the far off future, implied by his heart scenes.

now let’s break down Sebastian’s heart events.

          his first heart even opens with him busy working, already a very Capricorn setting honestly, as i’ve said a few times now since Capricorns are prone to productivity. Robin enters after a moment   &   informs Sebastian that Abigail is looking for him, to which Sebastian responds to ask if his mother had informed Abigail that he’s working. Robin says that while she had, Abigail still intends on visiting Sebastian at some point today. Sebastian’s next piece of dialogue is very important.

“ *sigh* no one takes my job seriously. ”

          this is an incredibly Capricorn thing to say, both because Capricorns always feel the need to be taken seriously   &   also due to their signature insecurity about income.

          the scene continues so that the player can ask Sebastian what his career goals are. he explicitly says:   “ well, i’m trying to save up so i can move out of here. probably to the city or something, ”   which by itself is obviously very Capricorn, both nailing their need for income, their constant validation that they deserve what they want,   &   their desire for independence, however his dialogue continues for another textbox that contains the most Capricorn lines i’ve ever heard.

“ you know, if i went to college i’d probably be making six figures right now … ”   

          Sebastian is so very   &   obviously obsessed with money, it’s crazy to think he’s any other sign but Capricorn. this portion of the heart scene ends with him saying, 

“ but i just don’t want to be a part of that corporate rat race, you know ? ”   

          this dialogue i’m willing to attribute to another one of his signs at a later date in another post, but in my experience, i’ve known several Capricorn suns that feel the same:   that while they strive for a stable income, they hate participating in capitalistic culture.

          this first heart scene ends with Sebastian dismissing the player, saying he   “ has to get this module finished by tomorrow, ”   indicating he has a very set schedule when it comes to his work. organization being yet another characteristic trait of Capricorn.

          Sebastian’s second heart scene opens with the player catching him working on his bike. after a moment of introspection, Sebastian starts talking, again, about how when he saves enough money, he’s going to get out of the valley, just him   &   his bike. this scene doesn’t have anything specifically Capricorn about it   &   i plan on revisiting it when i talk about his other placements.

          likewise, Sebastian’s third   &   fourth heart scenes don’t have anything outrageously Capricorn in them   --   in fact neither scene tells us very much about Sebastian in particular aside from pointing out that he likes tabletop games   ( which obviously isn’t exclusively Capricorn by any means, but i’ve known so, so many Capricorn suns that have been hardcore into dnd over the years   ...  )   &   has social anxiety. i’ll most likely dip into his fourth heart scene a little more when i talk about his other placements, though.

          Sebastian’s fifth   (   &   final before marriage )   heart scene is, of course, important,   &   probably the most memorable for anyone who’s played Sebastian’s route, but it honestly doesn’t tell us much about his core personality. what it does tell us is how he acts   &   feels when he’s in love, so i’ll definitely come back to this scene when i talk about his venus position.

          &   that’s on his heart scenes !

          so, in summary, i believe Sebastian has a Capricorn sun because he shares many qualities with how astrologers perceive the position. of course this is all just my personal interpretation, but i hope this was an interesting read   &   shed some light on the kind of person Sebastian is !

[davidmann95]

Adam Strange: Murderer or War Criminal? Also what did you think of Strange Adventures #1?

Hm.

Hmmmm.

Mixed feelings. Not just regarding the big aspect everybody’s talking about - which I’m going to skirt past not because it’s not in fact worth talking about, but because I want more context for what this book is ultimately trying to say there before I take any kind of stab at it - but because I feel like I’m waiting for the twist that makes this more than what we immediately pictured as soon as this was announced. Which some might argue is silly to ask of a first issue, but it’s something of a consistent thing with me and King: the initial chunk of a given new story leaves me feeling cold to my surprise until the big reveal that makes it all click for me, and while that almost always means I love his stuff in retrospect, I wish it clicked up front for me a little more often.

As is, it is as noted exactly what we all would have expected: the big superhero stuff juxtaposed against intimate domesticity, jagged staggered dialogue, a couple uses of nine-panel grid. Granted I’m still in the camp that is very much onboard for Tom King doing all that stuff, but where Mister Miracle came out swinging to upend our expectations and deliver something with an immediately different flavor than anything we’d seen before from him even if it followed a similar template, Strange Adventures feels like…a Tom King comic, and an uncommonly straightforward, seemingly predictable one at that.

Of course the big conceit is the narrative division between the Gerads and Shaner sections, which holds the most promise to warp it into something really new and captivating. It’s almost such that it makes me think that maybe the familiarity is deliberate; just as the Shaner chunk can’t simply remain Gardner Fox phantasmagoria forever, I wonder if the Gerads pages will themselves change to something far afield of the sort of material you expect to see him and King handle post-MM. My more immediately pressing concern is that Shaner might at least initially be regarded as the tacked-on backup player to the REAL new attraction of another King/Gerads joint, given both his role in selling the pastiche and that - odd as it may seem given Shaner’s handling the superhero adventure segments - Gerads is playing it way, way flashier. He’s got the filters and motion blurs and big emotional moments and white lines tracking movement clashing with the textures of the surroundings, while the momentum and scale and perspective and facial ‘acting’ in what Doc’s doing (Adam swinging through the monster’s jaws! His and Aleena’s foreheads pressed together as the city burns behind them! The jetpack’s afterburn - Doc colored this himself, right? - and laser glowing neon blue against a field of solid reds and browns!) are paradoxically far more subtle. I have to imagine he’s going to have a lot more heavy lifting to take on going forward, because he’s talked in the past about being annoyed by being pigeonholed as a neo-Silver Age guy and I can’t imagine he’d sign up for twelve high-profile issues entirely spent playing into that image. Oh, and shout-out to Clayton Cowles while we’re on the visuals, the unsung fourth partner here who’s been one of King’s most consistent partners and does just as much heavy lifting here in differentiating the flashbacks from the modern day, with the thin, distinct lines of his Earth-scene lettering being a small but noticeable leap from the more standard-edition flavor we see on Raan.

This really reads like me dithering and refusing to commit to saying “I didn’t like this comic” because Doc’s an online pal and I don’t want to faceplant on King after having continued to cape for him even as the common consensus has solidly started to turn the other way. Which I don’t intend at all! This was an engaging, gorgeous book with all the promise in the world. But stacked against past work by all involved and with the biggest discussion surrounding it ending up being not the quality of the comic storytelling-wise but as a reflection of King’s CIA service, it’s hard not to take a more critical eye to it when it meets all that by evoking a response of “that was pretty good!” But then, I’ve said that with King before and in turn been made a fool of before, so I’m braced to look back on my words here and shake my head. Even if that doesn’t happen though and this stays exactly what it looks to be…end of the day, it does still leave me saying “that was pretty good!”, which is certainly more than I ever would have expected to say about a prestige miniseries on my literal least favorite character in fiction.

[aurasessence]

This is a Smokescreen Appreciation Post.

This boy. I swear. He has my whole heart and then some. Here’s why

He’s adaptive. Here he is, thrust into a centuries old war he’s been out cold for most of, on a planet he likely didn’t know existed and is star systems, if not galaxies away from his home, and he’s just like “okay.”

He’s genuine. While everyone else is Over It in term of Optimus being, well, Optimus, he flips out. He’s likely idolized Optimus since he was very young, and statistically probably would have died before he even got a chance to see Optimus in person, of course he’s gonna break soldier rules to have a bit of a freak.

He’s quick-witted. He turns his comment about “I was almost a Prime” to “time to stop acting like a rookie” literally WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT once he realized he was heard.

He doesn’t dwell too much on the past. Becoming a Prime is a huge deal, and he knows it. Once he realizes that everyone else doesn’t know, however, he decides to keep it to himself and move on. After his little “almost a Prime” comment, it’s literally never mentioned again. Everyone has moved on. Including him.

He’s genuinely trying his best. While it’s kind of awkward and annoying, he is doing his best. He hasn’t figured out who he is yet, or how he fits into the grand scheme of things. That being said, by the end of the series, he’s a lot further than he was when he was first introduced. He’s grown.

He doesn’t let the bad stuff weigh him down. He may not have as much war related trauma as his teammates, but he grows from his experience rather than letting it consume him.

He lifts others spirits. Sure, at the beginning, he was mainly a nuisance. The others hadn’t been around someone so innocent in terms of the war in a long time, so I’m sure they weren’t sure how to handle him. He may have not been “immmature” for his natural age/growth stage at all, but trauma ages people, so of course being compared to all of his war-hardened teammates would put him in a different light. By the end of the series, he’s kind of the comic relief, in a way. He knows when to be serious, but also tried to lighten the mood whenever he can.

He’s naive. Some would consider this a negative, but for me, it’s an advantage. His naivety allows him to see things in a different perspective.

He follows his gut. He could have accepted the Matrix’s decision to make him the next Prime, but his gut said “save Optimus” and so he did, despite Optimus telling him not to. He knew, deep down, that they still needed Optimus, and, as he put it, it wasn’t where the story was supposed to end. (Fun fact, I have “This isn’t where the story’s supposed to end” hanging on my wall, and I’m planning on getting it as a tattoo and a laptop sticker.)

He looks for the best in people. He admires Bumblebee and his voice (or lack of one, even though Bee takes it as a snide comment, I highly doubt it was meant that way)

He acknowledges his mistakes and apologizes for them. Every time. And then he learns from them.

He’s just a precious boy and I love him. I will get the number 38 tattooed on my body for him.

[timeclonemike]

The War of the Words, Part 4: Mind Games

In the book Anatomy of a Spy by Stephen Parrish, Mr. Parrish documents and analyzes his experience in the US Army serving under Clyde Lee Conrad, an officer convicted of espionage during the Cold War era. Mr. Parrish spends some time discussing the motivation for various agents and actors to be “turned” by enemy intelligence and spy rings, and what they all had in common. Some were only turned after being coerced, threatened, or blackmailed in some way - an affair, evidence of homosexual activity, or simple monetary or gambling debts could all be used as leverage - but Parrish was specifically talking about those who decided, on their own volition, to betray their cause or country without being prompted.

His key insight was that they all had decided that their cause or country had betrayed them first.

This has specific bearing on both the white nationalist “Secret Agent Strategy” and the social isolation aspects of recruitment and radicalization. The spies that Mr. Parrish discussed all disagreed to some extent with the decisions of the people above them in the chain of command. They no longer felt that the risks they were expected to take on behalf of the organization were being appreciated or respected, and what sacrifices they were being asked to make on behalf of that organization would be for nothing.

The social isolation aspect refers to the recruitment strategy mentioned previously in this essay where bigoted ideals are partially camouflaged by dog whistles and the justification of “edgy” humor; those who end up repeating the dog whistles or jokes have a serious risk of being confronted by those who can see past the camouflage, and catching a large amount of social flack for violating a taboo that they did not know existed, including from people who were once friends or family. The resulting sense of isolation, paranoia, anxiety, and shame can feed a sense of persecution that is the perfect fuel for this kind of radicalization; from the perspective of the person caught repeating the dog whistles and jokes, everyone else turned on them.

This sense of persecution or betrayal is a common thread for most Us Versus Thems, the idea that They struck the first blow and any reprisals are an act of justice. Not everyone who promotes this type of mentality truly believes it, though; some are opportunists seeking to gather people to their banner, whatever that banner may be. Even for those who do believe it, heart and soul, it’s basically a symptom of the same underlying psychological condition: Fear and anxiety, mixed with internalized shame at being afraid that causes them to lash out. Ironically, this was portrayed almost like a textbook diagnosis in an MS Paint rage comic posted on the infamous 4chan image board over a decade ago; the comic itself portrays a white man and black man casually meeting in the street or other public place, having a short but reasonably friendly interaction, and going their separate ways... after which, the socially anxious and awkward white man character goes home and begins typing up a storm of epithets and slurs on his computer.

Having said all that, it’s important to know that this mentality alone is not enough to produce a racist, a nazi, or a terf; there has to be another, “co-morbid” factor at work that causes somebody to draw a line down the world to divide it into Us and Them. In the previously discussed “recruitment trap” those who have already bought into the dogma provide the only sense of community that the recruit has after being socially isolated, but that doesn’t always work. As a rule of thumb, people seek out fellow members of a community because humans are social animals and a community equals safety, but if the recruit hasn’t been completely isolated - or the new community cannot fulfill their social needs - then the group can’t close the deal. Likewise, people also seek out a community to validate their feelings, especially when it comes to traumatic experiences, but not everyone responds to trauma in the same way. If those feelings don’t match up, then the recruitment process fails again.

It is also worth pointing out that simple exposure to racist propaganda and stereotypes is not enough on its own. That there are hidden and not so hidden biases in the social order and judicial system and economy, no learned person would try to dispute, just as they wouldn’t try to dispute that water is wet, but that’s not what this refers to. Rather, it refers to the idea that the human mind is basically a computer that runs whatever program is fed into it through sense data; this is where the “you are not immune to propaganda” meme comes from. This premise falls apart by the fact that you can’t just debate the racism out of a racist, because logic is not the foundation of their worldview: Emotion is. (That door swings both ways; Nazis can’t make more Nazis just by quoting Adolf Hitler like some sort of spell in Dungeons and Dragons.) Stereotypes and slogans and epithets are not the cause, merely an effect.

Returning again to the subject of community, at least one reporter found his way into a modern day Nazi meeting, which was apparently quite difficult to find a venue for because so few people wanted to be associated with them in an official or financial sense. That’s good news by itself, but more importantly was the insight it provided into the psychology of the people attending it; they were constantly undermining each other based on all-too-human, all-too-ordinary flaws that anyone can have. The group itself, despite its rhetoric and claimed common goals, has no real uniting principle; they just attack each other less than they attack people outside the group. This definitely correlates with the firsthand accounts of ex-fascists and ex-cryptofascists who leave the organization; being angry all the time takes a lot out of you, and sooner or later you run out of steam.

It might be worth exploring the link between racism, bigotry, and egocentrism in more detail, but that subject is so complex it arguably requires its own essay. As it stands, it looks like all of the dog whistles and coded messages and stolen symbols in the world can’t halt the decline of this kind of mentality, only slow it down. The world is too interconnected for somebody’s personal biases to escape notice.